#i am Not Thriving

[flight0fthenavigat0r]

live reaction to acolyte ep5 (yord’s death) 😀✌️

oh god i feel sick what was that

[clonerightsagenda]

Forgot that since it's August we have officially entered Halloween pregaming season until I stepped into Party City to buy some stuff for a work thing and was confronted by an army of skeletons

[esperantoauthor]

My mental health is hanging by a thread and that thread is episodes of Taskmaster.

[eybefioro]

Having a job that requires good communication skills and talking to people everyday when I'm an introvert and is physically painful to make calls and be communicative is tmao taxing. Grrrrrnrmmnr if I survive today I need a treat (stay quiet in the dark listening to podfics. Maybe eat ice cream after dinner)

[julesnichols]

Other Snowpiercer highlights include Wilford claiming that the arm freezing death ports were meant as an idle threat and being like What The Actual Fuck about Melanie using them as the rulebook said to. This is why allistics need to be more clear when they write shit like that to tell their autistic second in commands that it is Not meant literally

[placeinthemiddleofnowhere]

Guess who was informed literally right now that they have a job interview (with a task to complete) tomorrow 🙃 recruiters are insane

[no-entry-access]

The bread doesn’t match, there’s sand in the tomatoes, and I want to cry:

[thecrackedamethyst]

Have you guys heard of pathological demand avoidance (PDA)? I have. Now.

It’s a “profile of autism” (I don’t know what that means) where any kind of “demand” that’s placed on you--from other people, your environment, society, your own god damn body--causes you anxiety and you enter fight/flight mode. Like for everything. So you avoid everything demanded of you so you don’t feel constantly anxious.

and OH MY GOD Let me tell you when I say that this diagnosis (?) fits me like a glove? Like, to a T??? Like. *screams*. I check all the boxes. 

It explains everything in my entire life. Why I can’t open my mail. Why I just let veggies rot in my fridge. Why I can’ draw my cards. Why every time I decide on a Project I can’t work on it. Why I can’t answer emails. Why I get uncontrollably pissed when someone tells me “you need to do this right now”. Why I can’t get out of bed in the morning. Why I can’t go to bed at night. Why I hate baking! Why my house is falling apart around me and I am doing absolutely nothing to fix it. Why I just won’t go to the bathroom even though I need to.

Like ADHD wasn’t quite right, and classic autism wasn’t quite right, and nothing was quite right...and this easily removes like, I dunno, 4 other things I’ve diagnosed myself with???

Anyways. It’s super interesting to examine and it’s fascinating to look back at my life and suddenly understand why I struggle with what I do, and what actually is a struggle not just me being...lazy and stubborn, I guess? I now feel both exalted and filled with despair. 

[i-want-to-be-spaghettified]

i have officially hit a new low

(crying into a bowl of flavourless instant noodles while watching math videos that still don’t make sense the night before my exam)

[thehours2002]

little girl friendships!!!

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I’m doing so bad today

[apeirotilio]

Tempted to revisit the translated Chrestomanci books just to feel something

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

Hi

[styrofauxm]

Gets an ipad to take notes and do homework digitally so that I never lose anything

Realize 2.5 years later that yes I don't lose important things anymore but fucking hell I use electronics too much

To do my homework I need to look at screens more so I avoid my homework. By looking at the smaller, handheld screen instead

[bunches-of-lilacs]

thriving haha

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.