#i am NEVER fully coloring this mf again

[brainrot-stitch]

He's done!! :3

Time to do more.. sighhhh

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Maybe I should just start putting random ass characters and symbols next to itoshis instead of doing strike through at this point…nothing can make me remember LMAO

Idk maybe it’s also like a personal preference kinda thing but I just love the way you write….I fully agree that I think partially it’s because the way you write romance feels sooo much deeper to me?? Like we’ve said before a while ago there’s so many different ways to show love that aren’t outright just idk kissing or whatever and I’m honestly all for it!!!! Like if you had written Sae just rizzing y/n up like “hey babygirl whatcha doing in Spain” I would run the other direction LMAO but the way you developed it felt sm more natural and enjoyable….I’m not even kidding like every now and then I’ll think back to the Sae fic (among everything else HAHA also bruh the only reason I bother to capitalize Saes name is because if I don’t it becomes saw smh) and I’ll be like damn….that was a good read….so trust I’ll read your fics even if it’s for igaguri LMFAOO

And true!! Bachira and Isagi are much more….naive ig?? For lack of a better term sure there’s a little bit of teasing here and there like how Bachira smacks Isagis head but it’s much more shallow and almost childish ig?? Like they just don’t really have the natural snark or sass that I’d imagine some other characters have (like tabieita and hiori LMAO) (maybe that’s the formula lowk….sassy teasing mfs……I love the sassy ones LMAO) Mira and Isagi arch nemeses guys!!! /j HAHAHA

The Mira dedication guys>>>> also I LIVE for your gojo honestly he’s also exactly as I imagined I love the bond between him and pi y/n too!! Lowk missing pi and all of the jjk gang that fic got me thinking more about jjk again….why did we never get another filler episode please I wanted to see them ALL happy together?? Second years and first years together with gojo nanami etc man….

I would LIVE FOR THAT SPREAD PLEASEEEE tabieita in a spread PRONTO!!!!! I know the artist usually like slapping out a little colored drawing every chapter and I’m manifesting a Karasu one so hard….i think last time it was chigiri??

Omg packing!!! Packing to me is such a hassle LMAO (feeling the Nagi vibes) also doesn’t help that I usually always end up forgetting something even if it’s really unimportant (as you can tell I forget a lot) but so worth it for vacation LOL

Omg I see the vision….zantetsu really just is the handsome Himbo of bllk HAHAHA

I’m ngl that toothbrush additional time I think is what sent people into the obsessive Reo agenda….along with the epinagi artist’s one extra drawing of like Reo mailing a straw doll of Isagi LMAOO??? I’m always conflicted when I see people running with that content using it as like hard evidence for Reo being insane when I really only took it as a funny/goofy little bonus work like?? I just thought it was kinda funny in a ridiculous way like before people really tried to “analyze” it I just laughed and moved on tbh….

Also wait louder for people in the back??? The way people forgive geto and even sukuna???? But like hate on nagi so hard I’m like??? And I guarantee some of those people directly overlap in the fandoms too like ok getostoelicker69 please do elaborate on why Nagi is the most toxic character in bllk……(also I AGREE?? Like I seriously don’t think Nagi did anything egregious especially because it helped them both grow…? And I can also understand Reo’s feelings like yeah no one would be happy having to separate just like that so it honestly just feels like teen drama idk why people are so pressed about it….)

You should’ve hit him with the “throughout Heaven and earth I alone am the chosen one” LMFAOOO I still can’t fathom what urges people to say things like that…did he say anything in response to that like hopefully he got the message…..crying no one compares to the bllk boys LMAO manifesting a normal dude interaction for you though because I’m actually never forgetting that wtf!!!

HEHE OK WILL SEND THEM IN SHORTLY!! Honestly I love brainstorming it actually gets my brain working HAHA and I’m so glad to hear that they’re at least somewhat useful LOLL will gladly send over all thoughts!! It honestly kinda gives me a way to explore characters too by thinking of scenarios and whatnot since I don’t really make any actual content with them otherwise!!

HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT!!! Actually maybe I should be waiting to say this later since I’m sure I’ll probably hear from you at some point between now and then but anyways! Omg there’s one time my downloaded songs just straight up stopped working and I just sat there like….ok then….idk how I got through it but I somehow did LOL and don’t forget to enjoy yourself LMAO I know you said writing helps you kinda wind down at the end of the day anyways but still! I’ll get those thoughts to you before your flight o7 ig speaking of any characters you wanna hear about? Off the top of my head I’m just plucking out Bachira and chigiri from our convo but I’ll gladly turn my brain on to think about others too HAHA

-Karasu anon

LMAOO no need to even censor them anymore we make our feelings loud and clear!! pls HAHA even if you don’t strike through their names i will still read it in the same tone every time

no because tbh seabird was sm fun to write it briefly changed my mind on sae…agreed though that man has negative rizz he’s lucky seabird reader matched his sass 😭 it would’ve felt so disingenuous to me if he was being like “zamn girl you are so fine 🫦” HDJSJS that’s so not him…unrelated but manifesting my own seabird sae moment on my trip 🙏🏻 where is MYYYY bird themed summer romance w a sarcastic athlete who’s secretly in love w me??? IGAGURI FIC INCOMING (after the ego fic ofc 😩🙏🏻 /j)

i LOVE a sarcastic teasing character LMAOO my type fr i think that’s another reason why i have trouble w isagi he’s just generally too nice of a guy (ignoring his on-field shenanigans) so it’s just boring 😰 like oh you’re sweet to your gf?? GET AWAY FROM ME!! hehe all jokes…no but don’t say he’s my enemy or else the next thing we know i’ll be in love w him too…miraeita is crazy enough we cannot get mirasagi

pi gojo is my man he’s truly the chaotic older brother figure everyone needs in their lives!! the pomegranate ink version of the jjk gang is so dear to me they just feel like a big family and they have so many silly interactions while also being there for one another through everything!! truly so special 🥹

packing is the worse and AGREED i feel like i always end up forgetting smth or another at home 😭 but oh well you can always just buy unimportant things at your destination!! so it’s not too big of a deal

HELP the additional times are supposed to be silly and exaggerated like yeah i was lowkey taken aback by the toothbrush scene but at the same time it was also just funny like obviously that’s not actually who he is as a character it’s him taken to the extreme for fun!! but yeah whenever someone despises nagi or some other random character but LOVES geto or smth i’m just like…interesting…look you can like who you like but how is a teenage soccer player a bigger opp to you than a genocidal cult leader??

LMAOOO i don’t even remember what he said after that i think he left me on delivered 😭 i too am praying to meet a normal guy at some point…perhaps one with dark hair in a stupid style w too much wax and a bird related name 🤔 just throwing out ideas!!

STOP OKAY BECAUSE YOUR BAROU AND CHIGIRI IDEAS HAD ME LAUGHING SO HARD THE HAIRCUT ONE?? THE SNOW SHOVELING ONE?? CRYING 😭 also the karasu one WOWWOWWOW imagine you see him play in the u20 game and you���re like holy shit so you ask yuki to set you up w one of the players and his mind goes to like reo (because he’s rich and canonically perfect) otoya (because he’s popular w girls) or nagi/rin/barou/isagi (because they all scored) but then you’re like no i want the crow boy 🤩 and then it’s a bunch of misadventures of yuki trying to set you up with karasu but karasu doesn’t believe you like HIM?? because canonically all of the valentines chocolates he received were just people messing with him (at least according to him) so he ALSO becomes your wingman because he really likes you but doesn’t believe he’s good enough 😩 but the whole time he doesn’t even know who you actually like so you end up going on the most awkward dates with random blue lockers (imagine just sitting across from barou in absolute SILENCE or getting rizzed up by otoya when you have 0 interest in him) which makes you think he doesn’t like you and he’s just trying to get you off of his back 😟 i think yukimiya would genuinely crash out because he’d know both sides of the story but would be too loyal to actually reveal anyone’s secrets

DRIVING TO THE AIRPORT NOW YAYY i’m lowkey motion sick asf from my dad’s driving which is why it took me a sec to respond + i’m having a crazy migraine for some reason so i’ve been napping in the car instead of going on my phone!! but also omg i love all of your ideas they were so good (if you couldn’t tell by me yapping abt karasu again i am unable to resist him 😩💔)

[thoughtsofanexcitedspacechild]

Writing Tips (Pt. 3): Writing Believable and shippable relationships in literature.

Hello friends! First of all, let me say a HUGE thank you for the support on the Kataang post! I worked really hard on it and it means so much to me all the little notes you give it and reblog it! I know it’s not at a huge number of notes, but I like knowing that people took time to read through the endless rant and reblog it! I’m planning on doing another full analysis on Zutara and why specifically it doesn’t work. I’ll make it respectful though as I know that a lot of Kataang fans are REALLY defensive and anti-zutara. I promise I’m not one of those people, and believe that no matter who you ship, your opinions on fictional characters are your opinions and you are FULLY entitled to ship and like whatever you want (as long as it’s not incest or a huge age gap. PLEASE don’t ship that stuff lol. U nasty mfs know who u are.) Speaking of ships, let’s talk about writing them. Writing ships for movies, books, shows, etc. can be surprisingly hard. Writing characters themselves can be hard enough as it is, but writing a pair of characters that fit together like a puzzle piece can feel impossible. Nevertheless, I’m here to make that process a little bit easier. When I’m trying to set up a relationship that’s going to happen, here are some things that I keep in mind to make sure that I and the audience of my writing  ship the characters I have end up together. 

DISCLAIMER before I get a’rantin: I am by NO means telling you how or what to write and am by NO means a professional writer of any sorts. I’m doing this mostly because I write a lot and speak from my own personal experiences with writing and because these are just the things that I found work best when writing my own stories. I also read and analyze a lot of others work on my own personal time, and these are just the details that I pick up on that I find makes a piece of writing effective. With that in mind, remember that writing is and art form, and the beauty of that is that there’s no one right way to do it. Ever. You can read the same thing as another person and interpret it in a completely different and unique way. 

1. Complementary Characters usually work out best. 

This is more than the classic “opposite’s attract” theory, and characters don’t necessarily have to be opposite to be complementary. Some things to think about when thinking of and writing complementary characters:

-Complementary doesn’t necessarily mean complete opposite in every single way. Often times I find it much more helpful to have characters share a common interest in hobbies, upbringing, childhood trauma (that one’s a bit overdone these days), etc. so that they’re not butting heads all the time. Just like yin and yang, theres a bit of darkness in the light and vice versa. To keep the balance harmonious, you can’t have characters be polar opposites and have no common ground. That leads to what many people consider a toxic ship, and will either lead to an unrealistic balance that inevitably leads your characters to be fighting all the time. 

-Keeping common interests in mind, often times the paces where character’s contrast is in their personalities. (Shy and bold, heart and head, bubbly and brooding, quiet and gregarious, etc.) Different personalities often are able to balance each other out and hold each other accountable for their weaknesses.

-Going off of that, one character’s strength is another’s weakness, and all traits are both. A character’s empathy can lead them to be loved by many, but may cause them to starve themselves and drain their cup so there’s none left to take care of themselves. A character’s logic may lend them top of class or calm in stressful situations, but can lead them to be insensitive to others and even their own emotions. Your characters should balance each other out and work well together, and part of this is helping each other grow from their weakness. 

-This one isn't as important, but what I also find super compelling, especially in film and tv shows is when the authors/writers deliberately choose to give the characters complementary color palettes. (I dove more into this on my Kataang analysis so go read that if you’re super interested.) If the character’s look ascetically pleasing together, it makes shipping them a whole lot easier. Focus on orange and blue, yellow and purple, red and green, and any variation of those colors together. 

2. Buildup

Often times one of the biggest critiques of ships that just don’t work out is that there’s not enough buildup or foundation to have a romantic relationship. It seems obvious, but if you’re going to have them end up together, there’s going to need to be some buildup or else the entire relationship will feel wrong and contrived no matter how pleasant you make it. 

Some tips for increasing and establishing buildup:

-Have your otp spend time together as friends first. I personally find that the healthiest and most successful ships are friends before they’re lovers. This is why Kataang specifically works so well, but Korrasami, Romionie, and Liesel and Rudy from the Book Thief are all good examples. If you observe these ships, all of these characters spend time together as friends first. Korra and Asami were able to bond and become friends over a toxic guy (cough cough MAKO) and eventually developed feelings for one another. Ron and Hermione weren’t romantically interested in other people and were friends until they started seeing other people and found out they liked each other. Liesel and Rudy were best friends before anything else and Liesel didn’t realize her feelings until it was too late. 

-Time together. When your otp spends time together, make sure that whatever time is being spent together is time that they both enjoy. No, the activity itself doesn’t have to be enjoyable to both characters, but the time spent together should be. If the characters really aren’t enjoying the time spent together, then it’s never gonna work out. I’ll use the ship that I’m writing as an example. Currently, I’m in the process of writing a third atlas series and we’ll use my characters Liang and Hana. (Yea I used my own name for one of my characters. I think it suits her bc she’s basically my clone, just, she’s the avatar. I’m going to change both of their names once I do more research and can find culturally and historically accurate names.) Liang REALLY loves pro-bending matches. Hana, not so much. She still goes with him to see matches and attends his matches when she can. On the flip side, Hana really loves going to her favorite tea shop. Liang vastly prefers a strong cup of coffee, but he goes with her anyways. Why would they choose to do something that they don’t necessarily like? Because that’s more quality time spent with each other and doing something for the other person. 

3. Romantic Gestures

Going off of my last point, we have the art of romantic gestures. These can range to things anywhere from a hug, to an elaborate firework display, to a locket with both of their pictures in it. Make sure that the romantic gestures are there! It’s gotta be clear that both characters are thinking about one another and consciously choose to do something for the other person. Here are some fun ways to do it:

-Remembering a gift the other character wanted. This one’s cliche but it works, because often times the best way to show affection is through physical gifts and objects. Think coffee from a favorite shop, handwritten notes, that piece of clothing the other has been eyeing, etc. 

-~symbolism~ *add chime here* By that I mean have an object to symbolize their relationship with, like Korrasami’s iconic hair pin or Liesel’s book that Rudy retrieved for her. This way, the readers not only have a visual representation of their favorite ships, but the object can physically link characters together and make a vague relationship full cannon. (I know for sure that someday when I get a tattoo, I want the hairpin tattooed on my wrist, ankle or side of my body.) 

-PDAs. Works best in film and visual stuff, but still applies for everything. I’m talking cuddles, kisses, falling asleep in each other’s arms, the whole shebang. I mean how much clearer can you make it than a pda?

-Love languages. Each person loves in their own unique way. Have characters figure out and learn each other’s love language. It really shows and adds a whole other layer to the cake. This one can make a ship that feels a little bland have more depth and realism, because in the real world, healthy relationships are formed and aided by learning and applying each other’s love language. 

4. Dialogue. This one can be hard to master, but once you do, it’s a breeze. First off, I recommend getting all your ideas out, and editing. DON’T EDIT AS YOU GO! This is often tedious and super annoying, so get everything out first, and go from there once you have a decent amount to work with. Dialogue is tricky, because dialogue in and of itself is meant to communicate and express feelings. Here are some tips and steps to at least get a start: 

a. Know EXACTLY how your characters feel about one another, and make that evident through communication. It seems obvious (again) but this really helps and I find that putting myself in the character’s shoes for a second and really thinking about it helps to decide exactly what they would say in a given situation, especially if the scene you’re writing involves confrontation about feelings for one another. 

b. Dialogue is more than just talking. Body language, tone, facial expressions, etc. are all part of dialogue too and are SUPER important! In the real world, humans communicate through more than just words, and sometimes a playful grin, grimace, crossed arms, or pout is much more effective than a character outright saying something. 

c. Once you’ve written the dialogue out, be concise and smart about your dialogue and pare it down as much as you can. Often times, adding too much dialogue can make a scene boring and flat. Use your words sparingly! The purpose of writing is to covey a story or message and often times this can be done effectively with less words rather than more. The main point in dialogue itself is to provide necessary context and information. Otherwise, don’t use it.

d. Make sure the conversation is two sided. This (say it with me now) SEEMS OBVIOUS, but make sure that both people are talking/communicating. it’s a conversation, not a speech. (Unless it is a speech or declaration of some sort.)

Before I go: A QUICK (Long) PSA ON TOXIC SHIPS: 

The concept of a toxic ship is very common in a lot of literature. Often times writers choose to include elements that may be toxic to heighten romantic tension in a story. While I do recognize that this sometimes may be a stylistic choice, there are MUCH better and effective ways to create tension that having something be toxic. Toxic relationships in my opinion share one purpose, and that is to establish a relationship’s toxicity and ineffectiveness. I don’t recommend writing these into a story unless it’s an obstacle for your characters to overcome, and having a character forgive the toxic actions of another character and still end up with them isn’t the right move because it completely disregards and diminishes the effects of what happened previously.

One of the best examples I can think of is Reylo from the new sw trilogy. I did touch on this briefly in a couple of my earlier posts (The Effect Of Modern Day SW characters and My Tips for Writing (In General) which I highly suggest you go read bc they both took me a bit of time and state the purpose more in depth) but I think I’ll quick reiterate and say that it wasn’t a good choice on the writer’s part to have some of the dialogue be so intense and vicious and then have them end up together. I still like the idea of Ben Solo and Rey together and ship them together out of cannon, but in cannon, it’s the perfect example of an ineffective ship. There was little to no build up, the dialogue was often spiteful and sharp, and it escalated a bit too quickly. I would’ve liked to see more of Ben Solo (NOT Kylo) and him feeling sorry for and repenting for the bad that he’s done before he and Rey end up together. Yes, we’re all suckers for the enemies to lovers trope, but PLEASE make sure to filter out the toxins before boarding your ships and watching them sail. 

That’s it for now! I hope this helps a little when writing shippable characters! I’m always free to rant to and to critique. I’m going to start posting as much as I can, because these guides help me too! Check out my other ones if you’d like to know tips for writing in general and I made another one on how to write characters. 

[phoebehalliwell]

s7 au: they've defeated the Avatars and saved Leo, and nothing else could possibly go wrong, right? and then Paige finds out that she's pregnant, and the father of her baby is dead, and she's never going to see him again because the Elders are petty like that. but that's fine, she can handle that - what'dya mean the cute parole officer at the grocery store's been flirting with her? how's she supposed to deal with that?

okay bro first you gotta let me digest the idea of a paige/kyle baby bc uhh that genetic mix at energy good god that kids gonna be buckwild they’re gonna get like an idea and no one will ever be able to talk them out of it stubborn as hell and twice as determined honestly could probably kill god holy shit. okay. piage kyle baby. i don’t know whether i want to say henry’s really observant or henry’s really dumb. i don’t know which is more in character. i don’t know which is funnier. either he’s definitely falling for this girl he met and then oh my god wait is she pregnant bc she’s wearing flats and complaining about her feet being swollen and she’s drinking decaf and she keeps placing her hand on her belly when she’s resting i think she’s pregnant but she doesn’t have a wedding ring is she a single mom or like is this like a like committed relationship but they’re not married situation can i ask it’s weird if i ask some henry uses like all his brain cells to try to figure out what happened but he keeps hitting weird dead ends is she married to a fed? what is going on right now it seems like she’s flirting back but what if i’m just projecting aaaa i should probably leave her alone because she’s probably just like not into me spoiler alert henry like does not leave paige alone they keep hanging out but henry doesn’t have the balls to make the first move and paige is thinking oh maybe he’s not that into me maybe i should just give up on this maybe i like him so i’m projecting onto him that he likes me when he really doesn’t and these two clowns are just like dancing around each other and paige invites henry over to the manner and henry’s putting on his little detective cap like father? is there a father somewhere?? and henry’s thinking maybe okay maybe the dad’s not in the picture maybe i should just tell henry how i feel and paige is like okay. i’m gonna tell him i like him. and i’m gonna deal with the fallout. whichever way it goes. i can do this. okay. but they’re both like stepping over each others words and it’s awkward as fuck because clearly they’ve both got something big to say but no no you go first no oh i can go first oh do you and phoebe’s talking down the stairs when she almost falls flat on her ass like boom and she walks into the kitchen with the most confused look on her face like is coop in here and paige and henry are like no sorry and phoebe’s like oh cool but she just keeps looking confused and walking closer to them and she stands right next to henry like hmmm and then walks over to paige like hmmm and then just goes paige sweetie can i talk to you for a second and pulls her into the dining room like i’ve got two big pieces of news for you number one i think i just got my empathy back and number two is that boy in the kitchen is in love with you.

or. paige is barely showing all that she and henry meet they hit it off they’re dating paige worries it might get a little weird when it becomes obvious she’s pregnant should she mention that right now no she’ll cross that bridge when she comes to it and things are going great and now she’s pretty obviously showing but henry seems fine with it and he helps her build a crib from ikea all that they go to pick out which color to paint the walls of the nursery blah blah blah paige and piper do pre-natal yoga again simply because piper insists paige experience what she experience so she could see how it’s so annoying blah blah blah and paige and henry are looking over a list of baby names and paige is like i know there’s this whole “p” tradition but idk it’s already been broken twice and i’ve never been much for tradition and henry’s like haha yeah but like you can see the gears turning in his head and paige is like yeah i think i might name the baby like [do we have any logic behind the name kat and tamora? why were they chosen?] isabel [since i’m sticking with the perhaps unintentional shakespeare theme] and henry’s like yeah haha ......................... you’re naming the baby? and paige is like henry..... do you.... it’s my........ you do know i’m pregnant right? it’s like six months in at this point and it’s like you can see a light switch go off in henry’s head like Ohhhhh!! and paige is like dude. what the fuck did you think was happening for like. the past five months. and henry’s like idk i though one of your sisters was pregnant i didn’t realize and paige is like how did you not realize i’m literally pregnant i literally have a baby growing inside of me right now how did you miss that?? and henry’s like idk!! i wasn’t gonna mention anything! and paige is like you thought i was just rapidly gaining weight?? and henry’s like sorta!! but like! i still love you! whether you’re just rapidly gaining weight or growing a baby! : ) and paige is like henry you’re so stupid. marry me.

whichever way you choose henry’s gonna be raising that baby and honestly i think the resemblance would be similar enough that people just genuinely think henry’s the father. i also don’t think kyle would know he had a daughter like at all. i think the elders would work very hard to keep him away from the charmed line and Definitely would not want him to know he has a child bc i think that really does come in conflict with your whitelighter duties you’d probably be less likely to put yourself in harms way to protect your charge bc then you’d be leaving your little baby behind without a father the elders are like No One Tell Kyle but i think henry’s all like who is like isabel’s dad? like what is that story, why isn’t he around? if it’s not too personal. and paige is like oh um. well, he’s dead. and henry’s like oh my god i’m so sorry and paige is like well he’s not Dead dead he’s a whitelighter. and henry’s like ?? and paige is like yeah you know he’s like born again given a new body and magic powers, sent to protect witches and future whitelighters and henry’s like [does not know] oh yeah totally. so like. does he ever stop by? i’d love to meet him. because like. henry’s seen a lot of kids who’s dad stepped out on them. hell his dad stepped out on him. and you learn to grow around it but there’s still like this y’know desire to know. to know who you came from. and paige isn’t even really thinking about it she’s like no i haven’t seem kyle since he was human. i don’t even think he knows he has a child and henry’s like What. and paige is like yeah you know the elders all that and henry’s like [does not know] yeah but like?? should you tell him he has a kid? would he want to know?? and paige is thinking about it bc like henry might have a point and she is a mf charmed one she should be able to summon kyle and like. he does deserve to know! so she and henry trudge on up to the attic and paige summons kyle and henry’s holding little baby isabel and kyle’s like woah um hi paige? what’s going on? who’s that? and paige is like this is henry, ny husband, and uhh isabel! and kyle’s congratulations?? why am i here? and paige is lik yeah um i should clarify you’re the father. and kyle’s like 😶😶😶 bc that man has never properly processed an emotion in his Life and henry’s like do you want to hold her and kyle’s like no bc wtf that’s a baby he doesn’t do babies how are you even supposed to hold a baby and paige is obviously a little hurt by this and she’s like oh i just thought you would want to meet her and kyle’s like no i do i um. thanks you telling me. good luck to you both. and orbs out and paige is like what the fuck?? but like henry’s seen it before where a guy realizes surprise you are a dad here’s your baby it’s a bit of a shock to the system so he like tells paige something like you know uhh like don’t worry it’s clearly a lot to process i’m sure he’s got a lot of stuff to do like i think he’s really grateful to know all that and paige is like yeah whatever lmao if he doesn’t want to be a part of his baby’s life that’s fine because i don’t need him you and i are gonna raise this baby abd we’re gonna be great parents and fuck kyle for not wanting to hold his child bc uhh paige is also Not Great at processing his emotions. 

but like a couple weeks later paige is off at magic school doing stuff and doing things and henry’s bottle feeding little isabel and he hears orbing and he turns around fully expecting to see paige but it’s actually kyle and kyle’s like hi. i’m kyle. and henry’s like no i know we’ve met before and they’re both sort of standing there bc henry’s not sure what kyle wants and kyle’s not even really sure what he wants but idk he just wants to like. meet his daughter. and henry can sorta pick up on this and he’s like Do You Want To Hold Her? and kyle’s like i don’t know how and henry’s like dw it’s p easy and he gives the baby to kyle and makes sure her head is supported all that and like little baby bel coos and kyle looks like he might be feeling his first ever emotion ever and henry’s like i think she’s happy to meet you : ) and kyle’s like :’) and henry teaches kyle how to properly bottle feed a baby and kyle feeds that baby and the two just like. talk. and kyle’s like not to be weird but i have been like. watching over you. since i found out about. you know. like. everything. and henry’s like no yeah cool but like he secretly Is Weirded Out and kyle’s like paige is really happy you know? and henry’s like yeah i know. and kyle’s like i don’t know if i ever could have made her that happy and henry’s like ooookay don’t know how to respond to that but 👍 and kyle’s like just i’m glad paige found you. i’m glad they both found you and henry can tell he’s talking about isabel as well and kyle keeps going and he’s like i don’t know if i really have what it takes to be like. a good dad. but like. you do. and henry didn’t really think he did because every day he’s just trying his goddamn best but he is constant worried he’s gonna fuck this up and kyle’s like. i don’t know. what i’m trying to say is like. i’m happy you’re going to be the one in her life. and henry’s like you can be in her life too and kyle’s like i can’t. it’s against the rules, all that, i wouldn’t want to bring down the wrath of the elders. and henry’s nodding pensively but in his head he’s like [ThE wrATH oF The WHaT nOw] but kyle keeps going like i’m not going to be able to be there for her, but i’m glad you will. and he sorta pauses and he was like. my parents were killed. when i was really little. i know what it feels like to grow up alone, feeling like you were somehow abandoned. and i don’t- i don’t want that for my daughter. and henry’s like i think i understand that better than most and kyle’s like i know. i checked up on you. and henry’s like oh cool. and kyle’s like i jsut want to say. i trust you, henry. and i’m happy for you. and he gives him back isabel and he orbs out.

and kyle really isn’t around for isabel’s childhood. there are no more surprise visits, any of that. sometimes isabel will start cooing as if she senses somebody, but no one every materializes. i think paige and henry would go on to have another daughter of their own (named beatrice i am sticking with this shakespeare thing) and the pair would grow up as sisters. and i think sometimes, at christmas, there would be two extra presents under the tree with no name on the “from” tag, addresses to little bel and bea, and paige and henry would know that there’s still somebody watching out for them

[student-by-day]

the ten questions tag game

@jjt-s your answers were beau. ti. ful. and the questions you came up with!! i'm going to have a lot of fun answering these, so thank you for including me :D

here we go...

what is something you'd like to learn about right now?

anything. literally anything. i will sit for hours and listen to explanations about everything from stocks to edgar allen poe. my only condition is that someone i’m attached to has to teach it---i love seeing other people get excited about their passions and lose themselves in their fascination for them. ^^

what does your favorite weather make you feel like?

i, too, am a member of the i heart dark, gloomy days club. i find the pitter-patter of rain on the roof very soothing, and the gusts of wind rattling the siding give me the good kind of chills. i love mixing up a hot drink and curling up in bed with some comfy clothes and a blanket when it’s thundering outside because in those moments, i’m completely at peace and content with my life, which is all i need.

do you want to explore space or explore the earth?

i’d explore space because space includes earth, and that way, i wouldn’t have to pick. ;)

if someone composed a poem about you, what do you think it would hold and boast?

i have no idea. i don’t know why anyone would ever write a poem about me unless they were a writer and completely obsessed with me (hA), but i suppose it’d have to be about what they love about me. the little things, most likely. maybe the way my nose almost brushes the paper when i write, how the baby curls always escape my hairdo, or how you can’t categorize my eye color---idk?!

what sound of nature holds itself equivalent to music for you?

anything water- or air-related. wind rustling the leaves of the forest, rain drumming on the ground, ocean waves crashing onto the shore, a babbling brook... i could never choose.

if you were to name yourself, what would it be?

my middle name is aliyah, and i’d stick with that just because i think it’s really beautiful. maybe it’s the fact that my first name, in contrast, is so common that it feels overused, but bonus points to my parents for choosing aliyah because of a book character. (i romanticize the shit out of that.) ...though it’s kind of embarrassing that i was able to teach myself how to read a second language by age six all on my own but not spell that one word. priorities, man.

what is the place you have always wanted to travel to?

i’m the kind of person that is willing to go anywhere and everywhere, but i do have to admit that italy has always held a special place in my heart. the language, the people, the food, the architecture, all the art, the history, the vespas... do i need to say more??

give a word to your 2015 self.

hmm... i’d tell my fifth-grade self to embrace herself (original, i know). i was in that awkward stage of a middle-school identify crisis, and i was overly conscious of how i acted and looked and thought. if i’d even gotten a glimpse of the 2020 version, i think i would’ve been a little more reassured that i’d turn out alright.

what is a thing that always gets you excited?

finding something that has fond memories attached to it---an old letter, picture, text, phone recording, or anything, really. especially if it’s something i forgot even existed. (i’m nostalgic af.)

would you rather create or improve?

i would improve something i already created. sure, the creation process is cool, but the editing is where i get most excited. i don’t care if it’s a graphic i designed on canva last week or a "book” i wrote when i was thirteen---i like polishing things up. the only problem is that i polish and polish and am never proud enough of it to call it a final product lol. there’s always something i can change, something i can “fix”, and i guess that’s the fun of it.

...and now my questions :)

what is your definition of “real”? is it something you have to see, something you need proof of, something you can touch, etc.? (think about this in context of virtual reality, ghosts, religion, etc.)

what draws you to a person (romantically, platonically, or otherwise)?

what gesture automatically wins someone else your affection?

is there a person you blindly trust for no actual, explainable reason?

once someone breaks your trust, can you ever fully trust them again?

could you actually trust someone else with your life if it came down to it?

what is your biggest dream?

can you be occupied solely with your own thoughts?

tell us about a memorable dream (can be a recent, scary, wacky, or random one). 

do you live by a specific motto, plan, belief, etc., or do you just live life as it comes at you?

i’m tagging the rest of the pocket friends™ gang:

@sadcypher @depressed-student @mechantacademia @coff-chee @min-howl @chaos-mf-chaos @mybookishescapes

no pressure, obviously :))

[hmspogue]

Anne With An E season 2 trailer shot by shot rundown

these are screenshot’s from Netflix’s trailer for Anne With An E season 2...i own nothing.

MY CHILD IS BACK AND GREEN GABLES IS AS BEAUTIFUL AS EVER.

for some reason, Anne’s blanket confuses me? i’m not sure why she has it or needs it, like maybe she stepped into the water? but she looks so cute i just wanna hug her.

i completely agree with Ophelia ( @lydias--stiles ), i also think that the sea is going to be important this season or hold a lot of symbolism.

“I love looking out at the horizon and imagining all the possibilities...”

i’m going to try and handle this next part as calmly as possible but-

1) THIS PARALLEL? THE LIGHTING EVEN MATCHES OKAY AND 

2) THE FACT THAT THEY CUT TO GILBERT AS SOON AS ANNE SAYS THAT LAST LINE AND THEN DO NOT CONTINUE SHOWING HIM AFTER THE CUT 100% TELLS ME THAT SHES ALLUDING TO THINKING OF THE POSSIBILITIES OF WHERE GILBERT IS OKAY NEXT-

ah yes i missed both you so much (it’s also so nice to see Matthew healthy and walking around without a cane even. what a man).

the bags on the back and the fact that she’s with Diana make me think that they may be going to that poetry concert they travel to with Miss. Barry in the books. i am all for this we love a girls trip.

thank you.

building the Diana x Rubyx Anne friendship? yes please, carry on. they’re so happy, i’m not crying, you are.

aw the hideout i love this whole set up with the story club.

okay, this scene actually concerned me a little...why does Anne look so frazzled i’m not going to suggest shirbert reunions for every one of these scenes i will not do it i hope she’s okay.

as concerning as Anne’s entrance was, Ruby and Diana’s faces make me even more !!! Diana’s especially. Ruby looks almost afraid and Diana looks extremely worried. it looks to me like they’ve been waiting for Anne in regards to some sort of news? because as seen in the last frame, it looks like they were there before she was.

my prediction is that this is one of the first scenes of episode 1. i recall a post Amybeth had on instagram of her on a beach that looks EXTREMELY similar to this with the caption “Cuthbert on a stroll”. this was towards the very very beginning of filming and from what i could see it looks like they filmed in chronological order. this goes along with the theory that everything is going to start and end with the sea. 

i’m also just going to continue pretending that i didn’t start sobbing at the Cuthberts having a beach picnic. 

Matthew and Anne’s relationship is so important and I’m so excited for this scene (which seems to be the same one from the very beginning of the trailer as you’ll notice).

so obviously the two girls in the front are Anne and Diana being so cute i really cannot breathe, and the one in the back in the pink hat is Ruby...so i would say the other girl is Jane perhaps? just going off of her hair?

“We’re going to get in so much trouble”

1. i love this dynamic so much and i really will never stop stressing that...

2. i think that this is where they were headed off to in the shot above? my theory is that it’s linked to the scene of them watching Mr. Philips in the play which comes later in the trailer (maybe they were not supposed to know about it). it would also make sense that Jane is tagging along since she is Prissy’s sister and heard about it from her.

“Don’t be late for school” 

oh we love a good mother.

“Understood” 

translation: Anne is most definitely going to be late to school at some point-

“And don’t burn down the house” 

translation: a huge disaster is guaranteed to take place-

and Matthew is fully aware of this fact.

“I want Green Gables still standing when i come back tomorrow”

why is she leaving? ANNE SHIRLEY-CUTHBERT YOU ARE THE SUN AND YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING.

i’m obviously curious as to what they’re laughing so hard at, but also as to why they are sitting on what appears to be the floor of the school house (also it’s important to note that i would die for both of them).

JERRY MY BOY I’M SO GLAD YOU LOOK HAPPY AND WELL AND YOU LOOK SO GROWN UP!!!

aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I LIVE FOR THIS SIBLING RELATIONSHIP OH MY GOD. though, Anne looks either like she is comforting Jerry or seeking comfort which is never a...reassuring thing...especially when the voice over quote is:

“I believe there’s always a bit of good in any situation”

ah yes, the man we have all been waiting for, here is Cole. i have heard a lot of people (including myself before Amybeth’s live a few months ago) very concerned about the role he will be playing in the grand scheme of things this season (such as the possibility of him being a love interest for Anne), and i think production knew that because they put in scenes like this to try and make people worried. 

however, my prediction is that this is certainly going to be a nice brotp and (as ophelia and i have mentioned numerous times) i don’t think Cole is straight (as Amybeth said he brings in a lot of discussions that Amybeth is “an advocate for”). this trailer further solidified my beliefs as you’ll see in a moment-

oh....you’re....still here....

this scene is one of the ways i see them hinting that Cole might possibly be gay. Diana’s face looks like Philips just said something characteristically horrible so i’ll just go ahead and prepare my hands for this disgusting teacher to cATCH THEM.

oh yOURE STILL HERE??????? (seemingly laughing at Cole being able to braid hair get out).

“I think it builds character”

it looks like she’s talking to someone at the kitchen table. also i love her.

LOOK AT MY GROWN AND MATURE SON OUT HAVING ADVENTURES IN SOME TROPICAL PLACE please come home soon

for those of you who don’t know, the man walking with him is named Sebastian and it’s been heavily speculated that he will fill a sort of father role for Gilbert in this coming season.

AGAIN WITH THE AFRAID AND CONCERNED LOOKS PLEASE STOP THAT.

i’m betting this has something to do with he thieves that came at the end of last season, which you’ll notice have not been mentioned at all this trailer. it’s also important to note that the voice over to this clip is Matthew saying:

“Whatever we’re facing...we’ll face it as a family”.

Ophelia pointed this out to me, but it looks like Marilla has a gash over her eye so i stg if one of the thieves hurt her you can catch me on a war path (-:

“The three of us”

...................ow.

she’s looking over to the boys side of the classroom (you can tell they’re at school because of Diana’s positioning next to her). and she is looking in the general vicinity of Gilbert’s seat so my guess is she is either smiling at Gilbert !!!!!!!!!or Cole who now sits in Gilbert’s empty seat.

THERE IS A BALL THIS IS NOT A MF DRILL THERE IS A BALL WITH BEAUTIFUL DRESSES AND LIGHTING AND DECORATION AND FLOWER CROWNS AND IF GILBERT BLYTHE IS NOT BACK IN TIME FOR IT I PROMISE, I PROMISE, NETFLIX AND MOIRA WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER.

not to read too much into things, but Cole dancing with Miss. Barry (who is gay in canon) is certianly interesting. i’m thinking a sort of conversation goes down where Miss. Barry helps him start to sort everything out that he has been confused about.

“There’s nothing wrong with being different”.

again with the supporting evidence that they’re dropping hints about Cole.

“You’re unique”.

The world does not deserve Anne Shirley. i’m assuming this is him confiding in her a little bit immediately after whatever went down in the classroom with the hair braiding and Mr. Philips and Billy.

“Unique means weird”.

MORE HINTS.

the whole class applauding Cole for something while Anne and Cole laugh. even Billy and his little friend seem amused and they’re present for whatever this event is. Josie looks pressed and bitter but what else is new.

shes so happy for him!!! 

this seems to be a little bow of gratitude i’m ready for this brotp.

Sebastian and a love interest that i am fully ready to ship. 

i also think that Sebastian being involved in a romantic relationship opens up the opportunity for him and Gilbert to talk about romance and feelings and a certain person back home that Gilbert has feelings for. they’ll get a chance to talk about things Gilbert never really got to learn about from his father go ahead and just leave me here to die.

this shot was quite jarring in the context of the whole mood of the trailer which is interesting.

Matthew appears to be kneeling over somebody on the ground? i’m assuming he was part of the group going out on horses. so perhaps they were searching for this person to begin with?

“There are more important things than beauty...” 

i can’t wait to see what this conversation relates to.

can we all just take a moment and acknowledge how they’re already transitioning Amybeth’s hair to more of an auburn color? 

“-we must try and remember what’s real and good”.

Anne continuing to learn about the real and good things that love and family brings as she become more and more a part of the Cuthbert family, rt if you cried.

my son looking so grown and mature and having fun. 

(im just going choose and ignore the fact that they immediately cut to Gilbert after that last quote and the fact that coincidentally two of the biggest reasons he’s so drawn to Anne is because she’s so real and so good.)

PLEASE TAKE CARE OF MY SON WHILE HE IS AWAY THANK YOU GOOD SIR.

could the scenery directors be more brilliant? like this is so beautiful.

i’m-

yeS CINEMATOGRAPHY YES. 

these last few shots of Anne with the ocean are feeding into the theory that the sea is going to be a big symbol this season. i think that this whole sequence is going to be the very last scene of the finale (i remember Amybeth posting a thing about the final adr she was doing where Anne breathes out and laughs but i could be reaching).

i think that the Cuthberts on the beach will be the first scene in episode 1 and this will be the last.....the ocean tying everything together, including Gilbert’s story line.

this...

...it is what he deserves.

peep my earlier theory of the girls sneaking into the show to watch Mr. Philips make a fool of himself. Diana doesn’t look too amused however. 

this whole expert Anne is reading (which ophelia has confirmed for me is from Jane Eyre) is not only beautiful-

- but i think it’s meant to be Anne subconsciously relating it to Gilbert and what he is doing (who is apparently on a boat!!!!)

“Now I remembered that the real world is wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had the courage to go forth into its expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst its perils”

this is literally exactly what Gilbert’s whole arc is this season. he went out into the world amidst the peril of losing his last family member to seek out all these things, including himself. this, paired with the fact that it’s the voice over they are using for shots of Gilbert traveling, tells me its connected to the reason Anne is reading the excerpt to begin with.

if this cinematography don’t stOP.

i already stan this scene and i’ve seen .0000384792 seconds of it. 

also there is a dark haired boy present as well that could either be Jerry or Gilbert and i’m good with either because i would chop off my right arm for either to have further relational development with Diana.

i wrOTE A SLEEPOVER INTO MY LAST FIC DEAR GOD LET THE REST OF THE SCENE PLAY OUT LIKE I WROTE. i think this has to be the girls unloading after the poetry reading or whatever they were going on that trip for.

yes just be happy it is literally all i will ever ask of you.

yeah  so i stan Sebastian already, oops.

the way i read Anne’s face in this is almost like she WAS crying but then Diana made her laugh. OR she looks like she’s just been embarrassed by something. either way...?????

i would die for this friendship.

i’m not going to make outrageous assumptions about what Gilbert could be staring at with such awe and wonder. i will not do it.

this is the same scene as the opening one. and i’m guessing Anne is running towards Diana all smiley and adorable.

well at least knowing the exact date of my death is somewhat comforting.

guys this season looks so amazing and happy. i cannot wait to see what they do with it. 

[seasonaldepressionmp3]

I haven’t seen this on tumblr yet so I'm posting it. This is from Kelela’s instagram (@kelelam), captioned “had time today”. I need every white person to stop, read, and reblog this, as well as those of us who are not fully white but pass and benefit from white privilege. While we need to be giving those most effected by racism/colorism the space to express their thoughts and not talk over them, we also need to be having our own discussions about our part in dismantling this white supremacist system we live in, and that starts with acknowledging the privilege we have and the head start we got in life, and educating our own damn selves. We need to be doing better.

Transcript below for those who need it:

[ It’s been a couple of days. i first wanna send love and healing to Jussie Smollett. no one should experience what you did. this attack on you i an attack on all of us and I stand wit you against this and all hate crimes. 

some of us direct our energy toward “us” but I am in a place rn where I’m not looking at black people/POC to provide solutions because we ain’t the mf problem. white supremacy is the problem only y’all can change it. it’s not going to happen from our resistance alone. the whites will only relinquish power when white allies demand it. 

to the white “allies:” esp you quiet ones. or the ones who feel pretty secure in their progressiveness: get uncomfortable! i no longer want your silent agreement. WHITE SUPREMACY can only be dismantled when white people relinquish their power, and that means you can’t stand behind me like “YEAH THAT!” anymore. and yes! that is what you’ve been giving this whole time: “yeah, that.” smdh.

i’ve haD countless exchanges with white people rolling their eyes when i talk about the racism and hatrEd a black celebrity can still experience. i really wAnna name names, cuz i think that’s the only way y’all learN, but you know who you are...

but most of all i’m thinking about all the white people who’ve never argued that, the ones quietly agreeing with me rn: your silent nod is another feature of WHITE SUPREMACY, a system that can only be dismantled when YOU (the wanna-be ally) speak up. at this point, it seems futile to plead/demand change from the real ignorant whites, cuz black people/POC have never had their sympathy/compassion. they do have YOUR sympathy tho, so i’m turning to you!! y’all gotta be the ones! we need you to stop relying on the courage and endless ENERGY black and brown people put into pointing to injustice!!!!

your privilege allows for you to double tap and keep it pushing, but out of everyone, YOU should be doin THE ABSOLUTE MOST to dismantle the system that we’re expected to point to. you have to be the ones doing the rigorous reading on these systems you benefit from. after all, y’all have the inside scoop. you should have the most language and you should be initiating these conversations regularly! POC–esp black people–have gotten so good at articulating our feelings while experiencing trauma (as a means of survival)…and a byproduct is your lack of initiative and courageousness. y’all have got to do betta!

where are the white privilege book clubs, meetings, initiatives my friends are taking? where are the white scholars? where is the conference on whiteness? where is the school that is supposed to dismantle this system? who are the white leaders that are going to speak on this?! where are the progressive white dollars and why aren’t they focused on dismantling white supremacy? y’all need to confront the real threat you must feel if you see the injustice, feel terrible and freeze up when it comes to these convos. here’s what I need you to do today: 

1. take responsibility for educating yourself and your white friends. take over the job i’m doin for you rn. start a white privilege book club and get together with them to learn the real history of this country and get loud about those facts, look up POST TRAUMATIC SLAVE SYNDROME. use accurate words like rape, the word WHITE (this is the hardest one for a lot of you), murder, pillage, terrorize, systemic, etc…”fuckery” is a good colloquial one too…it describes the ever-transforming /morphing/evolving bullshit over time and how it always seems one step ahead of us. contextualize stereotypes of POC in conversations with other white people. study that shit and start to talk to your family. be willing to not let it go. be willing to be emotional as if your family were a threat to your friends of color. cuz they are. again, if you are white and not using the word white regularly, I REALLY DON’T HAVE TIME, cuz it means you can’t even say who we talkin bout. 

2.consider and then reconsider, the level of compassion to keep fuckin wit white people–including your quiet ass–given that history. think about what that requires on a daily basis from each friend of color you have. then think about how many times you’ve listened to them go in an exchange wit a white person. then think about how much language they have that you don’t. think about how quiet you get when we go in, think about how you shake your head but keep it pushing til the next time we’re sharing another terrible experience.

you been thinking someone is gonna create the thing that you can just join, but that’s just not how it’s gonna happen. it’s you and i’m not looking anywhere else anymore. 

 (brown hand giving a peace sign emoji)

(Kelela’s signature) ]

[bleedpure]

         mark lee vc: LEZ GEDDIT   !   i’m al or ally, i’m nineteen, i’m in the cst timezone aka the midwest, so u know what that means   !   it sucks   !   i don’t even know how to transition out of that. i’m so bad at talking about myself, so i think we’re just gonna not do that.......   we’ll talk about seulki instead, which i can assure u he’s 100% more interesting than i will ever be   !   u can find his info under the cut and if u wanna plot hit that like button and i’ll come to u or u can hit me up on d*scord  ( which i would love tbh bc it’s easier than tumblr ims )  @ the jonas brothers did that#7625.   okay, onto the intro   !

- ̗̀✰ • 【 LEE MINHO, CISMALE, HE/HIM 】 ❝ did you see KIM SEULKI on the train back to hogwarts? they’re a HALF-BREED (VAMPIRE) in their THIRD year as a TWENTY year old RAVENCLAW. apparently they’re the ENIGMA around the grounds; most likely because they give off an aura of DROPLETS OF CRIMSON LIQUID DRIPPING OFF PEARLY WHITE FANGS, FORM FITTING JEANS THAT HUG JUST THE RIGHT SPOTS, HEART SHAPED LIPS CURLING INTO A DEVILISH SMILE, THE FEELING OF A PIANO PLAYING EERILY IN THE ROOM NEXT DOOR. of all the social media platforms, they’re definitely most obsessed with their INSTAGRAM; probably because they’re ELOQUENT, but also MANIPULATIVE. however, on the new manifest app in mr. carlos’ english class, they’ve already managed to anonymously steal the username: BLOODLUST. 

ALSO   !   if u want a better look at him, u can check out his pinterest board here  ( follow me too that’d be so sexy of u )   ! 

information.

i’m gonna just do this in bullet points bc i’m lazy and have had a really long week so if it’s choppy.... i am so sorry u are just gonna have to deal w it KMSKSMK

seulki was born in seoul, south korea to a kang insoo, a wizard man, and kim eunbin, a vampire woman, seulki himself being her first born

he doesn’t remember much of his own father, the only image he has of him is his bloodied corpse after his mother ripped his throat out when he was five years old

she was a cruel woman is what he had learned from that moment on

most half-breeds are misunderstood creatures, but the kim line of vampires were the monsters they told u abt in horror stories, the ones that hid under ur bed and took u from ur room in the depths of the night

being descendants of vlad the impaler, yes he really was a vampire!, had death and destruction lacing through their veins, darkness and deceit wrapping around their bodies

growing up, he watched his mother give birth to three more children, all of which were full fledged vampires, unlike himself

at first, he never let it bother him, he was raised up to be a vampire, to let the magic gene within him go dormant. he fed off humans and shed the blood of other’s with the influence of his mother, but even being her puppet was never enough for her

secretly, she had always resented her falling in love with a wizard, a human, someone that wasn’t of their own kind. because she did actually fall in love with him, only to be blindsided by her own family, a powerful clan of vampires pulling who she was and who she had always been out of her

because of the resentment matted in between her bones, the anger and frustration of her family ruining her life, of insoo ruining her life, she began to see the human traits within seulki even more often than not, creating a drift and a barrier between the two of them

seulki was the eldest brother, the one who took it upon himself to help raise them, to protect them, to never let their bright souls be diminished by the thought that they were monsters. they loved him and he loved them, but his mother didn’t like that

she didn’t like how they cared for each other because they cared for each other  more than they cared for her. she was selfish, wanting the love she never was able to receive, wanted to feel smth for all that she didn’t

his mother hadn’t been fond of him for a while, only using him to do her bidding and while him and his siblings got closer and closer, she got angrier, knowing that they were each others’ heartbeats and she wasn’t included in that

so because of her selfish and deranged nature, she wanted to eliminate her younger children to cause torment to seulki. ganging up on the children one night with the intent to kill them, but she didn’t get as far as she wanted to

she severely injured her second oldest, giving a few scratches the the other’s before seulki came in, eyes black and charging towards his mother. it was a bloodbath after that, the two youngest pulling their sister to safety as they called for seulki

their cries and calls snapped him out of his loss of humanity and in front of him was his injured, but not dead mother unconscious. it was then that he took his chance, packing whatever he could that was valuable and fled with his siblings

they spent time spent a long time running, bouncing from city to city more bloodshed falling onto seulki’s hands to protect the only people he held dear to him and he would do anything for them.

he struggled a lot actually with maintaining his humanity as it would slip from time to time due to the trauma even if he had his siblings to tether him down. at some point, seulki, while strong, felt himself getting exhausted from being on the run and it was when they’d found themselves in scotland being found by hagrid of all people offering seulki a place at hogwarts and his siblings a place in his hut

at first, seulki declined, not fully trusting the man with his siblings even though he would be right in the castle near by. but, after some thought and the push of the second oldest, they accepted the offer and seulki’s been attending hogwarts since he was eighteen and his siblings have found a residence with hagrid

tidbits.

he ages like a normal human up until he’s twenty-one when he quits aging and begins the phase of immortality.

seulki can and will drink blood to survive, but if he goes without it it’s not detrimental to him until he quits aging altogether which means he can eat regular food, he actually quite enjoys it.

he has fangs, he can go out into sunlight, but not for an excessive amount of time or he’ll get a rash. seulki does have inhuman speed and strength, but nothing overpowering u know? when he loses his humanity, his eyes go full black and when the vampire takes him over, his eyes are red, and his regular eye color is brown.

losing his humanity means he loses his heartbeat, most of the time either due to losing the things or people that make his heart beat or from intense and severe anger or negative emotions such as the like. though, it can be voluntarily done as well by switching it off  ( kind of like tvd . . . fucking disgusting ). but, seulki being only half-vampire has an easier time, unlike his siblings, to regain his heartbeat back and for his humanity to fluctuate when it’s lost because of his human side. his siblings are his heartbeats actually, so that’s where the intense need to protect them comes from as well as just being their brother.

seulki is a Big Bi   !   loves it fucking all.

he’s not super great at magic since his magic gene was pretty dormant until he came to hogwarts, so he’s pretty much just skirting by at this point.

his siblings mean the world to him, he would do absolutely anything for them and wouldn’t let a single person harm a hair on their heads. but   !   no one knows they exist, though i’m sure if there were special people in his life they might   !

while he sleeps around a lot . . . he’s a secret romantic. he’s always wanted to find love, but it way too terrified of it. 

oh yeah he has a blood kink............ that’s important ig

personality.

seulki is definitely an interesting person. he’s wise and intelligent, having been through a lot in his life. he’s eloquent and good with his words, most would call him honey-tongued because of how he can persuade almost anyone to do what he says. seulki is kind of a dick or well, like a suave dick. he’s charming and flirty, his signature is a smirk and like arms crossed as he leans against a doorway u know? seulki is uh. how do i put this? kind of a whore. he doesn’t tend to care about others which is deep rooted in the fact that he’s never felt real love . . . his own mother hated him to the core. he’s overprotective of the people he cares about and will do absolutely anything for them. he’s an ass if i didn’t mention that before, it’s to protect himself and his siblings from ever being hurt again because he’s so terrified of letting people in for them to just tear him down in the process. he’s guarded and u never know what he’s thinking because he doesn’t show it on his face or let u know. UH I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY MY BRAIN DOESN’T WORK............ he’s p manipulative............. uh he cares a lot. but deep down and he doesn’t want ppl to know that........... he’s definitely a Big Brother type when he cares abt u, makes sure u’ve eaten, makes sure ur warm and are comfortable....... yeah idk that’s it i’m done

wanted plots.

A HEARTBEAT   !   — whether platonic or romantic, this would be someone who, just like seulki’s siblings, makes his heart beat thus keeping his humanity in check, they would be a WHOLE, WHOLE lot to him. 

A TUTOR   !   — as i mentioned earlier, seulki isn’t super well versed when it comes to magic, he’s not very good at it and it’s hard for him to navigate sometimes, so having someone to help him get his mf grades up would be lovely !

AN EX   !   — obviously, this didn’t go down well because seulki is terrified of commitment and people getting close to him. it could play out in so many ways, so if it sparks ur interest we can chat !

A ROOMMATE   !   — so which sucker is gonna have to live with the vampire who has a blood kink ?

A BEST FRIEND   !   — obviously this is pretty self explanatory, this would be someone that seulki trusts with probably his life and they mean a lot to him, even if he’s bad at showing it.

LOVE/HATE   !   — bruh give me that good shit. these two can’t stand each other, but because of that it’s formed some sort of fondness where if anyone is messing with the other they’re like who tf are u that’s my job   !

A BAD INFLUENCE / GOOD INFLUENCE   !   — self explantory . . . someone be a good influence for seulki and let him be a bad influence for someone else.

AN UNREQUITED CRUSH   !   — my friend gave me the idea to maybe have someone have a cute little crush on seulki . . . and i was like but that’s SO sad........ then i was like u know what i love pain so here we are........ also could be requited we shall see   !

FUCK BUDDIES, FRIENDS/ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS, FLINGS   !   — i’m just getting lazy at this point to explain this shit . . . fuck him, let him fuck u he’s a true vers my friends.

OTHERS   !   — cuddle buddy, old friends, confidant, rivals, skinny love, annoyances, a brother/sister type of relationship, and if there’s anything else we can just vibe   !   tbh we don’t even have to do anything from this list, whatever fits the muses, these are just ideas   !

[treatbuckywkisses]

when i tell you i have never been so obsessed with something more my god

the absolute hardest part about this is that i know i will never be able to fully express just how much i love this story. i don't have the words like you do 😔

i really kinda struggled here because i could copy and paste every single line and tell you everything i love about it but unfortunately i can't copy and paste that much at once which is heartbreaking so i have to try and freehand this bitch 💔

this is literally so so so beautifully done nika. the way you wrote this is absolutely brilliant i want to kiss your brain please 🧎‍♀️

i was immediately hooked after the first sentence and every word just kept drawing me in deeper and deeper into this. the way you wrote them? so incredible ohmygod i could see it happening like a movie in my head its so vivid

i LOVE how you did the thoughts in the story i don't know how else to explain it i just cannot get over how you did that so beautifully

you cannot be real because there just is no way you could do something as perfect as this and be real ??????

i love love love how i could experience the friendship turning into lovers through this story

how you wrote everything is pure perfection. them being part of shield, when steve was a fugitive and on the run, god that was so incredibly done– the slight angst with them being on the run and so close all the time with nowhere to be is so realistic?? and you did an amazing job capturing Steve and his personality while also making him your own version i will never get over this please I need to be sedated.

ALSO ?? STEVE WITH A BEARD MY MF MAN PLEASE LOVE LOVE LOVE <3

(He almost tries to tell you, then, on that one perfect day when you look happier than he’s seen you in weeks, but he opens his mouth and the weight of it all renders him speechless, the words once again leaving him before he can taste them on his tongue. So he just keeps looking.) I chose this one because it's what made me start crying at first. something about the whole story and feeling the friends to lovers happening was just amazing and wow that was such such amazing feeling to have

(The way the light hits your hair. Soft pillow creases across your cheeks. Your nose twitching slightly when you dream. He’s never known peace quite like when he watches you, asleep next to him, and he has to put pen to paper again and again to make sense of it. you really did such a great job with all of stevies thoughts it really gives me a feeling of being able to look inside his head to see what's happening and then see their thoughts on it it's literally just so beautiful im sorry I keep saying that but it's the only word my peanut brain can think of

Loving you has become as simple as drawing, as simple as breathing, and he keeps wondering how he ever did either before he met you. What was he doing with all that time? God this just gives that friends to lovers in a gut punch (affectionate) it's so sgdodksngdoensvsuenrvksmevrirnrvdonevr

(He doesn’t want to take your picture. He wants to make you smile like that forever, and barring that, he wants to draw you, indefinitely. Capture the tilt of your nose, the contour of your hands, the sparkle in your eye, over and over and over again, because he knows that he’ll never grow sick of doing that. He’ll never tire of looking at you. this is one of my favorite parts for sure please i am going to throw up.

(White. A blank page or canvas. So many possibilities.) back to the favorite color that is so 🥺 this is god I'm going to fucking explode I can't

i love every single thing about this please you don't understand

moving on

summary: He gets caught up in the lines and the streak of sunshine on your skin, until you catch him staring and raise a questioning eyebrow, so he looks away, reluctantly, unable to hide the small grin that appears on his face.

pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 6k

warnings: friends to lovers fluff, a pinch of angst for spice, heavily leaning into the fact that steve can draw and yes that’s a warning, canon compliant apart from. ya know. the moon stuff

a/n: i've been coping with the passing of stephen sondheim last november by listening to sunday in the park with george nonstop ever since. writing this was basically a love letter to that show and maybe the most cathartic thing i’ve ever done.

masterlist | read on ao3

One of the first things you learn about Steve Rogers is that you will never be able to understand the world like he does.

He seems so transparent when you first meet him, so genuine. And he is. But it’s not as simple as that.

You start realizing that when you find him with a notebook on his knee, perched on a window sill he’s too large for. There’s no pen in his fingers. It’s like he’s just staring at the thing, as if he’s waiting for something to happen. You don’t know him well enough, then, after that first mission you get assigned together, so you don’t recognize the look of concentration on his face for what it is: remembrance.

Instead, you shrug off your coat and force your voice to convey nothing but the professionalism his rank deserves. “They’re waiting for you downstairs, Captain.”

He nods, because he knows. Of course he knows.

But there’s something in his eyes that makes you hesitate, folded coat hanging on your arm. “Are you alright?” you ask quietly.

And it’s in the split-second he takes to refocus, to straighten his shoulders, that you know there’s more to Steve Rogers than meets the eye at first glance.

“Of course,” he says. And you believe him, almost.

That’s what makes you suddenly feel like you were the one caught off guard, not him. There’s a thundering in your breast that suggests the same.

It’s as if even though he appeared lost in thought, he’d actually been watching the bigger picture, in a way. You just don’t know what that means quite yet.

You watch him put the notebook down and gather his bearings, slowly, methodically. He follows you downstairs, but you can tell even then his mind stays somewhere else entirely. Focused on something you’re unable to see.

(He hasn’t drawn in years.

When he was younger, before everything, it had started out as a way to keep his hands occupied when they weren’t balling up into fists. Life was a never ending uphill battle, but a piece of coal blacking his fingers awarded him with a feeling of calmness he wasn’t used to without it.

It was the one thing he felt he was good at back then.

He'd picked up the habit early along the way with an old pen and whatever empty space he could find. He couldn't afford lessons, of course, so he taught himself, like always, and the world was his canvas. The flip side of old letters, yesterday's newspapers he got out of the trash, the empty space of wall next to his bed where the wallpaper had started to peel off.

"There's something wrong with you, punk," Bucky'd said when he found him scribbling on the cover page of one of his books.

He had just smiled because he knew Bucky liked his sketches. They filled his apartment walls and littered the broken floor boards until they were barely visible.

"You know," he'd said and elaborately signed his name under the picture of the cat sleeping on the window sill before handing Bucky the book back. "One day, this might be worth a lot more than you paid for it. All thanks to me."

They'd both laughed and laughed. It was a sunny day, and they were just two boys from Brooklyn, spending a hot Sunday afternoon lounging around in sleeveless shirts, reading and sketching and complaining about things he couldn't even remember now.

Sometimes, he wonders what happened to that version of him. Whether it would ever show up again, like an old book at a pawn shop, dusty and dog-eared, someone else's handprint all over it. He wonders if anyone would recognize him if it did.

It doesn’t matter either way. He hasn't drawn in years.)

You’re not special. You don’t have any powers or anything that goes beyond basic S.H.I.E.L.D. training, and what good does that do you, really, now that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s gone.

You’re directionless, lost, caught in a constant state of anticipation. Killing time. Waiting.

Training’s the last thing that’s left of your old routine, so you cling to it like a lifeline. Left hand. Right hand. Breathe. Remember to guard your core.

It’s gratifying to imagine your former S.O. instead of the punching bag. Left kick. It sways, twirls, heaves. Right kick. Like a dance. Why won’t your damn leg go higher than that?

If only you’d opened your eyes and looked around you, seen what’s happening sooner. Maybe … maybe what?

Another kick misses the mark and you stumble backwards in frustration. A trickle of sweat runs down your neck and you shiver when it’s met with a cool gust of air. It cuts through your anger and leaves you gasping.

No use mulling over it. You didn’t prevent anything, you couldn’t, and now you’re here, and this stupid punching bag won’t hold still, even though you need it to, you need to let out your feelings somehow, why is it so hot in here—

“Need some help with that?”

You flinch because Captain Rogers is just about the last person you expected to catch you in here, considering the kind of week he’s had.

“I’m alright,” you pant. You’re aching. “Punching bag just won’t keep still.”

(Your knuckles have ripped open, red staining the bandages you’ve covered them with, artlike anger spilling out of you. He stares at the color. His fingers twitch, his body remembering before he does. Color and light.)

He doesn’t offer, maybe because he senses you’d refuse out of principle. He just holds it steady for you.

Afterwards, you get drinks together at a bar you know in Midtown that’s cleaner than all the other ones in the neighborhood, and you both just stare at each other tiredly over your half-empty glasses and don’t talk all that much.

You grow close quickly after that, two lost people hanging onto each other in the eye of the storm. When the weather finally turns, Captain Rogers has turned into Steve. You like him much better that way.

(Does he care, he wonders, whether he’s doing this for you or for himself? No, he doesn’t. But caring has always been his downfall.)

You stop waiting.

(It’s been years, decades maybe, since he’s properly taken the time to draw. There’s always been something more pressing to do, something more important, some urgent matters demanding his attention at every turn.

There’s never been a time for him to breathe and question what he actually wants, not since the plane and the ice, and even before then.)

“What are you doing?”

Steve blinks, only gradually coming out of his state of immersion. When he turns his eyes to yours, they’re so deep, so heavy, it makes you gasp a little. Somehow, your stealing his attention like this feels even more intimate than him offering it freely.

“Nothing,” he murmurs, but there’s a beautiful tinge of pink rising on his cheekbones that makes your lips twitch.

(Damn, he thinks, there’s that smile his fingers have been itching to preserve. He could probably never do it justice.)

“Are you writing something?” you ask and Steve chuckles.

“Drawing, actually.”

It’s another thing you learn about him that surprises you. You don’t know many artists, but the ones you do know are a cold, bizarre bunch, while Steve is the opposite of that.

“Can I sit with you for a while?”

(It’s the last thing he expects you to ask at that moment. He’s used to people grimacing, or demanding to see what he’s working on, or asking dozens of follow-up questions that drag him out of his flow back into reality when it’s already swallowing him whole.

Instead, you just sit down on the floor, facing him, picking your book back up again and looking at him, patiently waiting for his answer. So he nods.)

Steve temporarily leaves this world when he’s drawing, looking, fixed, transfixed, at whatever he is focusing on. You could watch him for hours when he does this. It’s the only time the tension leaves his shoulders completely, the weight of the world no longer crushing him.

It’s like he steps out of himself for a while, leaves all the assumptions and duties behind for just a moment to see the picture as a whole. And he’s good.

You tell him as much the first time he shows you his work and he blushes delightfully, mumbling something that’s not quite a thank you. As if you’d lie to him.

“Seriously, Steve. Is there anything you can’t do?”

(Live a normal life. Take a break from this madness, unless he has a pen in his hand. Find the words to tell you how much he appreciates you. Move on.)

He chuckles. “More than you’d think.”

(Life used to be slower, and so he is still trying to catch up and find a new rhythm that feels right. It’s hardest when it comes to you.

It only takes him a day to feel his insides go liquid at the sound of your laugh or the spark in your eyes. It takes him much longer than that to notice you reserve those laughs and glances for him.

And then, he’s not sure what to do with that.)

You hum, still taking in the drawing he’s let you see. He must have done it in a meeting, because the details of Natasha’s tilted brow and Tony’s wide gestures are so lifelike you almost expect them to start moving right there on the page, complaining about the air conditioning. He has to possess a special sort of magic, you suppose, a talent that has nothing to do with the training or the serum, to be able to put things down as they are and still leave them air to breathe.

Because they do, even though they’re nothing but lines underneath your fingertips, something that’s so quintessentially Steve and yet leaves his subjects’ core untouched. It’s as if he’s trying to figure them out more than anything else.

(No one he’s ever met before or after has ever understood that part of him like you do.)

Yeah, you could watch him for hours. The way he looks is nothing short of magnificent.

(You’re the most special person he’s ever met.)

He’s always been focused, dedicated, attentive to detail, but all of those traits seem to get even more pronounced once he holds a pencil in his hand.

(It’s like he’s falling into some trance. He’s not Steve Rogers anymore, let alone Captain America. He’s just the one tasked with coaxing the images in his mind out into the real world.)

You have to knock several times before he even notices you standing in the doorway.

“Dinner’s here. You coming?”

He blinks, confused, almost blissfully unaware of where he is.

(It takes a couple of moments for your words to even make sense. He’s struggling with it these days, the sense of things. The order of them.)

“I’ll be there soon,” he says, in a way that lets you know he probably won’t.

(He has to finish it first. Finish the arm before he forgets what it looked like against a canvas of fire and sky. Maybe this time, he’ll get it right. He can’t afford to forget anything else.)

By the time Steve makes it downstairs, everyone else has already dispersed. You see him approaching, bashfully, eyes tired, and mark the place in your book.

“I put your plate in the oven,” you tell him. “Wanna watch something with me while you eat?”

(The apology gets stuck in his throat when you look at him like that, no judgment or resentment because he got lost in his lines again. There’s just kindness.

He doesn’t know how to thank you.)

The smile he gifts you with tells you enough, and so you grab the remote. When Steve returns from the kitchen, you tuck your cold toes under his thighs and grin when he hisses. He doesn’t move away, though.

“A little birdie told me you’ve never seen Star Wars.”

You fall asleep about halfway through the first movie, face turned towards Steve, tiredly watching for his reactions, your blinks growing slower.

(He can feel your eyes trained on him, even though he pretends not to notice. They’re focused, like you, too, are trying to find out what shapes his face is composed of.

He stops the movie once he’s pretty sure you won’t wake up any time soon and leaves you carefully stretched out on Tony’s couch.

He tries not to linger, but your perfect, comfortable image does. That night, he draws you for the first time, until he can finally fall asleep.)

You wake up with a terrible crick in your neck, wrapped in a blanket you don’t remember pulling around you. Your toes are warm.

Years pass like this, a careful dance, and you keep wondering how you can be so close to someone and so far away from them at the same time. You’ve never known longing quite like it.

(A distance between the art and the subject that seems too delicate to bridge.)

He only starts picking his pencils up more once you’re on the run; or at least, that’s when you start noticing it.

“I didn’t know you still drew.”

(He didn’t know you remembered. It’s been so long.)

Steve chuckles, scratching his chin slowly without looking up. His beard is starting to come in.

“Haven’t done it in a while,” he says. “There’s never really been time.”

“Can I see?”

It’s good, like you knew it would be. It’s deliberate, like everything he does.

You catch him hunched over his notepad time and time again after that, and when he runs out of room, he draws in the margins of books you finished and on paper napkins you collect on the go until you have the time to buy a new one.

You almost regret it. There’s nothing you love more than flicking through your novels and finding Steve’s little marginalia between the words. Your heart breaks whenever you have to leave one behind.

(He notices how your fingers hover over the pages, hesitating, before you turn your back, leaving the motel room with your head held high as if you’re abandoning something invaluable. He adds the book to his backpack without a word.

Oh, he wishes he had words for you.)

He sticks to his sketches, mostly, but sometimes, he digs up the colored pens you got him for his birthday one year. It’s a crude selection, colors made for children, really, not for grown artists.

So you don’t think it’s fair how beautiful they turn out to be once Steve puts them to paper.

He shows his drawings to you if you ask nicely, and they’re always stunning. There’s a lifelike component to them, so vivid you almost wait for them to walk off the page.

This is how you learn about his past: picture by picture, sketch by sketch, portraits scribbled onto paper napkins or delicately traced into notebooks, until you’ve seen their faces so many times you feel like you must have actually met them all once. In a dream, maybe. And you feel like you might have loved them, too.

You like the way his best friend wears his hat crooked. You like the way the light reflects on his mother’s hair. You like the way that, whenever he draws Brooklyn, you can almost smell the smoke in the streets and hear the gulls above the docks.

He keeps drawing the past, though, over and over, more than anything else that he encounters. Things how they were, how they could have been, you suppose.

(It’s the way he keeps things, keeps memories before they can slip away. “Easier than words,” he used to tell Bucky, who never understood.

“Nothing easier than words,” he’d say. But Steve had always found it easier to talk through his actions, with his hands, or with his fists. He doesn’t have words. He has his colors. He has his sketches. And that was always enough.)

You always praise the drawings, and even though Steve never acknowledges your words, he keeps showing them to you, and you suppose that means something.

They’re never hasty, always one precise pen stroke just at the right angle to the one next to it. You’ve never seen Steve this careful with anything but his drawings.

Well, maybe except you.

Sometimes he looks at you like you’re a precious painting in a museum somewhere. It’s transcendent, the way he looks, like he sees you and he doesn’t, all at once. It makes shivers crawl up your spine.

(He gets caught up in the lines and the streak of sunshine on your skin, until you catch him staring and raise a questioning eyebrow, so he looks away, reluctantly, unable to hide the small grin that appears on his face.)

“What’s your favorite color?” you ask him on a bleary winter morning when there’s nothing but white outside as far as the eye can see.

Steve looks up from his sketchbook, surprised at the question. His brow furrows.

You love that about him. He always takes your questions seriously, no matter how much they come out of nowhere.

“I don’t know,” he answers after a while.

(The color of your eyes. The color of your hair in the sunlight on a bright autumn morning. The color of your lips when your tongue flicks over them as you decide what to say.)

“I always liked green, I suppose.”

You nod. You like green, too, the green of meadows that smell of your childhood. Green like empty wine bottles and raucous laughter, like dark forests, like mistletoe on Christmas Day.

(Green like the coat you were wearing when he first met you, at a train station in Budapest, what feels like a lifetime ago.)

There’s no wrong answer to your question, but you like Steve’s. It’s a calm color, like everything else in his life isn’t.

“What’s yours?” he asks in return.

“Blue.” It falls out of your mouth before you can think about it. You can’t remember if that’s even usually your answer, because all you can think about when he looks at you like that is Steve’s blue eyes. A blue helmet. A star upon a broken sky.

It’s strange, coming to terms with something you’ve accepted a long time ago. You watch him draw until the snow stops, and your heart falls into a new step.

There are bad days, mostly. Being on the run isn’t easy. You’re both still having nightmares about the airport, about the Raft, about the heartbreaking loss of your former lives, and you’ve started sleeping in the same bed mostly to keep the other one from shattering yet another lamp when you wake up alone. They seem to get less bad, then, like you’re sharing the burden as well as your space, but they never get easy and they never go away.

Sometimes, after the most fitful of his dreams, you see Steve blearily reaching for something next to the bed that’s never there.

(He never wanted the shield in the first place, not really. Got handed it by necessity and propaganda more than anything else, and he knows that, deep down, he knows. Still, now that it’s gone, it feels like yet another part of him that’s lost to time.

Sometimes he thinks that he’s missing so many parts of himself there’s no way he’ll ever be able to piece himself back together again, no matter how many sketchbooks he fills.)

He hates you seeing him like that. He’s told you as much, shouted it at you before storming out of the room in nothing but his pyjamas, hair still sticking to his damp forehead.

You make tea while he’s gone, but as you pour the water, you break down crying on the floor of the tiny, shitty motel kitchen, exhaustion crushing over you like a tidal wave. When Steve returns, it’s with an apology already on his lips before he finds you, and he keeps repeating it until you start picking yourself up again. The tea is long cold, but it doesn’t matter.

(He keeps himself in check after that.)

Both of you are haunted by your dreams that night, but his hands are wrapped around yours, and he doesn’t let go once.

Occasionally, though, there are also days like this. Walking in silence with Steve, nothing around you for miles and miles, nothing but fields and trees and wildflowers.

(He doesn’t know why you’d stick with him all this time, but he’s never been more thankful. Another impossible year like this one, and he might well go completely astray. You keep him grounded. Assembled.

Sometimes he dares to imagine he could do the same for you.)

Steve takes your hand as he helps you climb over a fallen tree the storm threw in your path, and then he doesn’t let go. His fingers stay intertwined with yours as if it’s the most natural thing on the planet, and to you, it is.

He only seems to notice much later, when you’ve almost reached the meeting point with Sam you’re headed towards, but when he tries to pull away, you squeeze his hand softly.

“Not yet,” you say, and you feel light as air when he smiles. The sun is setting by then, and you look up at the sky full of pinks and oranges and wonder if this is how Steve always sees the world, bursting at the seams with the most glorious colors.

You throw your head into your neck and inhale deeply, the summer evening smelling sweetly of honey and earth, and you realize that as long as there are moments like this, you will take the bad days, no matter how many there are.

(He almost tries to tell you, then, on that one perfect day when you look happier than he’s seen you in weeks, but he opens his mouth and the weight of it all renders him speechless, the words once again leaving him before he can taste them on his tongue. So he just keeps looking.)

That evening, he’s up late again drawing while you lie next to him, aching to see it, content to wait forever.

“You look so beautiful in the morning.”

You trace your fingers over his cheek, smiling at the stubble tickling them. You love his beard.

It’s the first time Steve refuses to look like the picture-perfect Captain America the world perceives him as, wants him to be, needs him to be.

He was handsome before, of course, but he carries himself differently now, and it’s not just because he doesn’t want to be recognized. There’s a strange lightness to his step these days, and you know he left behind much more than that shield and his friends.

You stopped understanding the way the world sees Steve a long time ago. You don’t get why they keep trying to paint him in red, white and blue, when he is so much more than that. It’s so clear for you to see, after all.

But maybe that’s because he let you stay by his side, and he wants the world to keep moving.

(Color and light. Structure and composition. Tension and harmony. There’s a balance in art he’s always found reality lacking.)

There’s not a lot you’d refuse this man, you think as you watch Steve sit up in bed, knees drawn up and sketchbook balanced on his thighs. He loves to sketch in the early morning hours and you love looking at him when he does, even though you always fall back asleep before you can ask what it is he’s capturing.

(The way the light hits your hair. Soft pillow creases across your cheeks. Your nose twitching slightly when you dream. He’s never known peace quite like when he watches you, asleep next to him, and he has to put pen to paper again and again to make sense of it.

To try to keep it.)

When you spend this much time together, there’s not a lot of secrets left between you. More often than not, there’s nothing to do but talk to fill the silence ahead of the nightmares. Steve knows things about you no one else does, things you’ve long but vowed to keep buried forever and yet whispered in the dark of night when there’s nothing else but the sound of his breathing to drown out the void.

(His secrets are hidden between the covers of his sketchbooks, and you look at all of them with such care and tenderness, it makes him want to shout the last remaining one from the rooftops.)

There’s one sketchbook he never shows you.

It’s smaller than the others, bound in blue linen that’s starting to fray at the edges. You remember him picking it up at a stand when you spent Christmas Eve in Vienna after a mission years ago, when you could still set foot there without being reminded about the UN and everything that followed. You were both still living in an illusion back then. Of how the world could be.

The word “perfect” seemed so easy, strolling along tiny alleyways and weathered down cobblestone, pretending that time wasn’t passing at all.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s in the blue book, Stevie?”

You don’t mind him keeping things to himself, not really. But it’s been years of furtive glances and blushing shakes of the head, and you’re sleepy and curious.

(He wants to tell you, but it’s a futile attempt, what with that mesmerizing look in your eye that has him revert back into a stuttering teenager. Instead, he decides it’s time he shows you his heart.)

It’s soft in your hands.

On the first page, there’s a picture of you, a sketch, really, on a piece of graph paper that has been pasted in. It’s messier than most of his drawings that you’ve seen, as if it had spilled out of him in a frenzy, but it’s still clearly you, your eyes closed, one hand tucked under your head. Despite the hasty strokes, it looks strangely peaceful, and you feel a twist in your heart at not remembering.

You look at Steve and smile. “It’s great. Why the big secrecy, then?”

“Keep going.” His voice is strangely hoarse, and you frown.

Usually, when he shows you one of his drawings, he watches you out of the corner of his eye, waiting for your reaction. Now, though, he stares at the picture, too, as if he couldn’t quite believe it’s one of his own.

(He’s never felt this nervous showing you anything.)

You turn the page. It’s you, again, awake this time, pointing at something Steve hasn’t deemed worthy to commemorate, a sparkle in your eye you’ve never noticed in yourself before. Underneath and to the side, there are several studies of your hands, pointing, gripping your phone, making a peace sign with your fingers, your nails dipped in watercolors more beautiful than your nails have ever looked in real life.

Another page. You, in front of the theater when you took him to see a Broadway show, the ticket stub tucked neatly into photo corners underneath. Another page. You, admiring the shelves in the Library of Congress. Another page. Your silhouette, sketched entirely in forest green, sitting in front of a painting at the Guggenheim, more detail put towards the slope of your shoulders than the actual Seurat you remember staring at.

(He hears your breath start to shudder, and he almost takes the sketchbook out of your hands, then. But he doesn’t move, doesn’t turn his head. He’s not sure he can.)

You must have looked at an entire gallery’s worth of Steve’s art over the years, but these ones are different.

There’s an entire double page dedicated to your smile, the rest of your face barely outlined, as if your mouth was the only thing he looked at when you laughed and he had a pen in his hand.

Progressively, the images have more and more blue added to them. First, you’re wearing a royal blue shirt you know for a fact is actually white. Then it’s your hair, your features, sketched out in cobalt and navy and cerulean, until finally, there’s a portrait of you, drawn entirely in blue pencils, your head leaning against a window. You must have looked directly at Steve while he was drawing, because you know for a fact you wouldn’t let anyone else see your gaze be this soft, your smile this gentle.

You realize, then, that Steve’s in love with you.

(He’s known for a while, even if he’s never been able to admit it out loud. He leaves it in every pen stroke that tries to capture the shape of your smile.

Loving you has become as simple as drawing, as simple as breathing, and he keeps wondering how he ever did either before he met you. What was he doing with all that time?

Waiting, he thinks, like a canvas that needs to be prepared before it can hold the paint. He’s ready now.

He wants to paint forever in your colors, even though he’d be content with any shade you offer him.)

Your heart is thundering a mile a minute, stunned speechless by the revelation.

“It’s beautiful,” you whisper. Your tongue moves to form other words, tender ones, desperate ones, but you bite them back.

Being on the run is not a time to settle down. No matter how many times you wish it were.

“Yeah,” Steve says, and the tilt of his head is not enough to hide his smile.

(You are. You are. You are.)

Your hand is shaking when you reach out for him, slowly intertwining your fingers with his. You can’t say how long you stay like that, not speaking a word and yet saying so much.

There are worse ways to spend your time.

You only stop running to fight, and once that’s over, too, there is just … nothing. It would be disconcerting, being nothing, but to you, it’s too short to even remember.

(Five years are an infinite amount of time.)

The fight is over when you find him, still hunched down in the dirt. He looks more tired than you remember, bloodied and beaten, but not defeated. Never defeated.

“I almost didn’t recognize you without the beard.”

(His head is still swimming with five years’ worth of being stuck in the past and the present all at the same time, and yet your voice cuts through all of that noise and brings him back to earth. He almost thought he’d never hear it again.)

Steve stills before he turns and then he doesn’t speak. He just looks at you, eyes trailing over every inch of your body, taking in every scratch and bruise and tear. You kneel down in front of him, putting your hands on his chest. His heart is almost beating out of it, but some of the tension leaves his shoulders, as if he’s needed the reassurance that you’re real.

He just keeps looking at you without a word, and for a moment, you’re afraid. It’s only been a few seconds for you, but Steve has had years. Being too late has never been something you’ve had to fear before, not with him. But now?

His hands find your face, softly wiping away the single tear that rolls down your cheek. You raise your chin to meet his gaze, and your worry dissipates all at once. Because there’s that look, that beautiful, terrifying look that seems to see so much more than you ever could. It hasn’t changed at all.

“Why don’t you take a picture,” you grin, lightheaded with it. “It’ll last longer.”

(He doesn’t want to take your picture. He wants to make you smile like that forever, and barring that, he wants to draw you, indefinitely. Capture the tilt of your nose, the contour of your hands, the sparkle in your eye, over and over and over again, because he knows that he’ll never grow sick of doing that. He’ll never tire of looking at you. Of being with you.

So instead, he does the only thing he craves, needs, thinks to do. He’s waited long enough.)

He kisses you. You don’t expect it, not here, not now, but it’s Steve and it’s perfect.

He holds your face in his hands, his fingers delicately tracing your cheekbones as if he’s sketching you while his lips draw out the most delicious sighs when they meet yours, again and again. Like he’s not planning on doing anything else for the rest of time.

You lose yourself in the shape of his kisses.

And then, after everything, things go back to the most normal you can remember. It’s almost unsettling, the ordinariness of it all. You might have saved the world, but it’s kept moving all the way through that. Just like Steve’s always wanted.

Giving up the shield is easier on him this time, you think.

(He hasn’t felt this light in decades.)

The nightmares change their shape, but he’s still there when you wake up. That’s the most beautiful part of it all. He’s always there by your side, through it all, and you don’t have to fear that delicate balance of your feelings anymore; now you can simply kiss him without a second thought, thread your fingers through his hair until he leans down enough to close the distance and meet you halfway.

You could spend hours like that, making up for lost time. Mostly, though, you keep moving on.

Steve’s eyes are red-rimmed, but there’s a focus in them that tells you he’s not quite ready to get back to earth yet. You prop yourself up on one elbow.

“Are you gonna go to sleep tonight?”

(There’s something in the air that evening, something about the way you catch the light. And your tired smile, the care, the life. Will he ever stop missing you even though you’re right next to him?)

“Soon,” he says, and kisses your temple and the tip of your nose. “I just have to finish this first.”

“What are you drawing?”

“A hat.”

“Hmm.” You pull a strand of hair away from his face, fingers lingering for a moment, before you lay down again and snuggle closer into Steve’s side, careful not to impede the movement of his arm. “That’s a nice color.”

“Yeah?” You can hear him smile.

“Mhm,” you mumble tiredly. “Think I had a coat in that green once.”

“Really.”

“Whose is it?”

(His pen stills when he realizes he hasn’t even thought about it, the sketch just spilling out of him, not a memory but something else entirely. Something of his own. He chuckles quietly, low, stunned at himself. At you.)

“No one, I think. I made it up.”

“That’s nice.” You yawn. “Don’t let that hat steal all your sleep, ‘kay?”

“I’ll try my best.”

(He loves you. Damn, he loves you. The thought is steady at this point, just like his heartbeat isn’t.

He looks at your sleeping face underneath the dimmed lights and that feeling of warmth he’s grown so accustomed to reappears, settles in his stomach, creeps up until it reaches his cheeks. He’d never grow tired of looking at you like this.

And so he finishes the hat, and then he lets you return him to the night, to the moment, to do just that. He could look forever.)

“White,” he tells you later, much, much later, on a Sunday in a park, surrounded by a thousand colors, and you tilt your head in question. “You asked me my favorite color once. It’s white.”

“That’s not a color,” you laugh, and he kisses you until you stop.

“Exactly,” he says. “Not yet.”

(White. A blank page or canvas. So many possibilities.)

please leave a comment or a reblog if you enjoyed this, it's the best way to support writers on here and i will love you forever 💛

[ohmygoodgollymissmolly]

Answer all the questions

Wow, thats a-lot to wanna know.. But Lucky for you i’m trying to procrastinate atm. So here we gooooo.

Ask Me:

Kill your curiosity 

1. Last kiss- Sometime in December, not sure of an exact date. I don’t kiss, and tell, so thats all the info you get about that.

 2. Last phone call- My sister.

3. Last text message- Also with my sister, just her telling me she hates her new hair.

 4. Last song you listened to- Space Bound, By Eminem 

 5. Last time you cried- Like 3 days ago, but they were actually happy tears. Found out some really cool news.

 HAVE YOU EVER:

 6. Dated someone twice- Yes, big mistake.

7. Been cheated on- Literally haven’t been in a relationship where I wasn’t.

 8. Self harmed- Yes, I used to cut stupid bad on my thigh. Also have some burn scars, from putting out cigarettes on myself. Thankfully thats not something i’ve done in years, and i’ve learned better ways to handle stuff like that. 

 9. Lost someone special- I’ve lost a few: My dad, my grandpa, and my childhood best friend.

10. Been depressed- Yea, but it’s a work in progress. I was on the worst medication I could’ve been on, which made it so much worse. Got admitted, now I’m on different meds for PTSD, and mood stabilizers. It’s helped A TON.

 11. Been drunk and threw up- I have been drunk, but rarely throw up.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 

12. Had sex- No, and don’t really expect that to change. Lol, it was a miracle I did last year..

13. How many people have you had sex with this year? 0 

14, and 16 are missing.. so we’re just gonna continue.

15. Made a new friend- Yes, i’ve made a couple.

17. Laughed until you cried- Yes!

 18. Met someone who changed you- Not this year, not yet.

19. Found out who your true friends were- It’s my sister, thats been every year. She’s the ONLY person I could ever trust.

20. Found out someone was talking about you- No, but it wouldn’t be anything new. I just don’t care what anyone has to say about me. 

26. What did you do for your last Birthday- Cried like a little bitch because my niece was hospitalized, I have never had a good birthday. 

 27. What time did you wake up today- 7am.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for- To start my new job!

 30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time- Well since I only have one sister, last night when me, and her went for drinks.

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life- How other treat me, and get so tired of me so quickly.

32. What are you listening to right now- Crime Junkie!!!! If you haven’t hear their podcast, you’re missing out.

33. When is the last time you had sex? Sometime in December. 

 34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now- Myself.

35. Most visited webpage- Usually Tumblr, but lately i’ve been wildin out on FB.

36. Favorite color- Red 

37. Nicknames- My absolute favorite one is Moll’s, but i’ve also been called hot rod, hot tamale, and fight club.

38. Relationship Status- A joke.

39. Zodiac sign- I’m a Libra, can’t make my mind up for shit.

40. Male or female- Female 

 41. Primary school- Pinson Elementary 

42. Secondary School- Rudd 

43. High school/college- Pinson

44. Eye color- Hazel, they change weird ass colors.

 46. Height- 5′4

47. Do you have a crush on someone- Yeah, and they mf HATE me. So no new, news.

 48. What do you like about yourself- My eyes, and humor. 

 49. Piercings- 3 in each ear, 2 in my nose, belly button, and nipples.  

50. Tattoos- I have a pretty big piece on my right side of my ribs.

51. Righty or lefty- Righty. 

FIRSTS: 

53. First piercing- I don’t remember getting my ear pierced, so belly button.

 54. First best friend- Literally an angel, I miss him more than I can ever really say. He was killed by a drunk driver, and it’s someone I still talk to daily. I literally just talk out loud, so he can hear me... even if I don’t get a response.

 55. First hookup- I’ve never been the type to “hookup”, but my first kiss ever was in a church if that say’s anything about me lol.

56. First Bestfriend- PLW

RIGHT NOW: 

59. Eating- Nothing

 60. Drinking- A redbull.

 61. I’m about to- Finish this up, and then start sending out emails.

62. Listening to- This was already asked, and still listening to crime junkie. 

 63. Waiting for- Not a damn thing.

YOUR FUTURE: 

64. Want kids? Only way I would want a kid is if i’m 100% financially stable, and also found a good partner to have one with. I don’t want to bring a kid in this world, if both parents won’t be in the kid’s life.

 65. Get married? I honestly think marriage is a whole scam, and don’t even et me started on the bullshit of an engagement ring... However if I found someone that’s my bestfriend, and soul mate I would.

 66. Career- Oof I thought I knew, but now i’m kinda lost.

WHICH IS BETTER: 

67. Lips or eyes- Eyes. I’m a sucker for brown eyes, not a fan of blue eyes.

68. Hugs or kisses- Either honestly.

69. Shorter or taller- Same height, or taller.

70. Older or Younger- Preferably older. 

71. Romantic or spontaneous- Romantic.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms- Nice arms.

73. Sensitive or loud- BOTH.

74. Hook-up or relationship- Relationship.

HAVE YOU EVER:

 76. Kissed a stranger- Yes, Halloween party like 4 years ago. That’s the only time i’ve ever really kissed a stranger that I can remember.

 77. Drank hard liquor- Yes, I was bartending before I was 21, so i took full advantage of that, and drank like a fish when I would get off.

78. Lost glasses/contacts- I constantly don’t know where my glasses are.

79. Had sex- Yea, but not with many. I don’t let a lot of people have that part of me.

80. Broken someone’s heart- No, it’s always me to have my heart broken.

 82. Been arrested- Never been arrested, I have however been in the back of a cop car 6 different times.  

 83. Turned someone down- Everyone who has ever tried to shoot their shot. I’m picky, so i’ll wait forever till I find someone who I think is right.

84. Cried when someone died- Well duh.

 85. Fallen for a friend- Yes. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 

86. Yourself- Fully, I can get through anything

 87. Miracles- Yes, they just don’t happen for me.

88. Love at first sight- No.

89. Heaven- Ehhh, hard to say. 

90. Santa Clause- Wait, what?

 91. Kiss on the first date- No.

92. Angels- Yes.

93. How would you label yourself? Stupid, besides that I wouldn’t.

 94. Someone You Pray Everyday For- The people i’ve lost, the people I have, and the friends i have. I’m also a hopeless romantic, so I pray for the person I am mean’t to be with. I just want those people to have success, health, and happiness.

95. Did you sing today- I can’t sing, but that doesn’t stop me from singing everyday.

96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About- I haven’t.

 97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?- 7 years ago so I could tell him don’t get in the car. 

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For- My own happiness.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love? Im scared of bridges, and falling in love. My two biggest fears in life.

100. Do you like the way you look? I’ve started to, after years of an eating disorder i’ve learned to live with my body. But I hate that it only will ever attract lust, and never anything more. I’ll ever only be liked for my looks, not personality. So in turn, i’ve started to hate my looks again.

[mf-despair-queen]

Your Name (Part 2) - Stiles Stilinski

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Stiles Stilinski/Reader

Word Count: 3,815

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Oral (Female Receiving), Sex on a Boat

Notes: I couldn’t stop from writing this. And look. Smut. I’m such a good person. I hope you guys like this. Things are happening. You’ve gonna find out things next timeeeeee. Thanks to @minhosmeanhoe for proofreading because she is a saint and I love her. 

Listen to Me (Please note you are not required to listen)

Prologue | Part 1

Once in awhile when I wake up, I find myself crying. The dream I must’ve had I can never recall…

Stiles made the executive decision not to tell Scott about the fact that he was switching bodies with the girl in his dreams. Scott had enough to worry about, and Stiles didn’t want to add more stress to his best friend.

Both Stiles and Y/N were unsure what to expect when they figured out what was truly going on, but the two decided it was best to cooperate with each other until they could figure out why. The only thing they knew at this point was that the switch was triggered by sleep, the “why” aspect was still a mystery. They even laid out ground rules of things to do and things not to do, just to simplify their lives and make people less suspicious about their strange circumstances. They had agreed to leave messages on their phones, detailing their days so the other party was aware of what they missed.

Stiles had hoped to find out the name of the girl he had dreamt about since he returned from the realm of the Ghost Riders, but somehow she always seemed to avoid giving it. He didn’t want to ask her friends, not wanting to make her look strange around them. They never called her by her name either, always by cute nicknames. He learned a million other things about her, all things that somehow felt familiar to him.

Her favorite food. Her favorite color. Hell, he even learned little quirks about her, like that she enjoyed it when someone ran their hand through her hair.

He couldn’t fight the nagging feeling inside that he knew these already. But he enjoyed learning about them. He felt close to her, and whenever he thought about her, a smile would form on his face.

Y/N had always wondered why Stiles had forgotten her name. This was the same Stiles she knew for years. The same boy she gave herself to. The same boy she had fallen in love with as they spent their time together in Beacon Hills. She felt sadness wash over her whenever she thought about the last request she gave him: Please don’t forget about me. But she didn’t want to blame him.

Through her time in Stiles’ body, she learned bits about the supernatural world. She was given vague information from Scott, Lydia and Kira. She didn’t understand it fully, but knew that something had happened to him during the school year, and she assumed that was what contributed to his “amnesia” about her. But everything else about him was the same. He was exactly how she remembered him, and her heart swelled with happiness that she could be around him, even if they were apart.

A month passed, switching bodies at random. It held no schedule, switching whenever the universe felt it wanted to fuck with them. But they tried to make it work. That was all they could do. Stiles, deep down, just wished he could find out the thing he wanted the most.

Stiles sat on the bank of the lake in Y/N’s body, watching Nia and Camile splashing around in the shallow water. He smiled at how happy the girls were, working on the blue braided cord he worked on every time he was in her body. It was something she enjoyed doing in her spare time, and he thought of the red bracelet he wore that she had left him. He wasn’t the best at braiding the cord, but he was getting better through the messages she left him.

Camile and Nia jogged over, laughing loudly as they collapsed next to him. Nia watching him making the bracelet, shoving the shoulder of the girl he was resided in. “You’re making those again? Who is this one for?”

Stiles stared at the bracelet in his hand, sighing. He wasn’t even sure why he worked so hard on it. Part of him hoped that it would be his gift to the girl with no name, as a way to apologize for forgetting her. He knew it hurt her, even if she didn’t say anything.

He also wished, deep down, that it would bring them closer together.

“I don’t know,” he whispered, the girls looking confused. “A friend, I guess.”

Camile smiled, nudging his side. “Is it for Stiiiiiles?” Stiles looked at her, trying to figure out what she meant. “If you ever go back to visit him, you could give it to him. As a sign of your looooooove.”

Stiles’ breath hitched, looking down at the bracelet. The girl with no name loved him?

Nia fell back, staring up at the sky. “Be nice, C. Maybe she just wants it to be because they have been friends for so long and she

misses him.”

Stiles sighed, putting the braided material in the bag he had. He stared off across the lake at the sunset, relaxing with the two girls.

Nia looked at her friends, smiling sadly. “Enjoy this one while we can, guys. Might be the last sunset for a little. I’ve heard a storm is headed this way. A town to the west got hit a few nights ago. I guess it was so bad that no one has been able to reach them since they were hit.”

Camile looked at Nia, mouth agape. “No way! Which town?”

“Trenton, I guess. I hope it’s died down since then. We don’t need a bad storm.”

Stiles stiffened slightly. The last time he had heard anything about a bad storm was when the Ghost Riders were trying to take Beacon Hills. But the Ghost Riders were gone, so he should have nothing to fear anymore.

They sat in silence for a while longer, the light beginning to disappear. Both Nia and Camile turned to him, staring at him.

“Hey babe,” Camile started. Stiles looked over at her, seeing her sad eyes. “You’re not yourself. Something’s different.”

Nia nodded, looking at them. “It’s because of him. Because of Stiles. He remembers you, right?”

Stiles jerked awake abruptly, looking around his bedroom at the band posters on the wall and the police board in the corner. He sat up slowly, feeling something wet on his cheeks. His fingers skimmed his skin, feeling the tears leaking from his eyes.

“Tears? But why. Why am I crying?” He asked himself, falling back on his bed. “Was that even real? Or was that an actual dream this time?”

His phone lit up beside him, Stiles groaning. “What did that girl do now? I know you did something.”

He grabbed the phone, looking at the text from Lydia.

[10:22 AM - Scream Queen: Hey Stiles. Hope you didn’t forget about our date! Meet me at the park near the high school in a half hour!]

Stiles reread the text, his eyes widening. “What the hell?! A date with Lydia? Lydia Martin? Holy shit.”

He rolled off the bed with a loud thud, struggling to untangle from the blankets so he could get ready.

He rushed from the house minutes later, breaking every speed limit he could to arrive on time. Lydia was sitting on a park bench when he arrived, wearing a short, white floral dress and some wedges. Stiles smiled to himself, admiring the banshee momentarily. But part of him felt wrong about going on a date with her.

Lydia stood from the bench when Stiles approached her, grinning at him. “I almost thought you stood me up. I would have had to hunt your ass down. Nobody stands up THE Lydia Martin.”

Stiles chuckled lowly, Lydia grabbing his hand in hers. She led him through the park, chatting about random things that Stiles wasn’t sure he really knew about. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing or where they were going until he looked up at the familiar ice skating rink.

He turned to Lydia, seeing the smile on her face. “This is…” he trailed off, seeing her nod.

“The same ice skating rink from our sophomore year. We agreed this would be a good place to go since we have memories here already. Remember?”

Stiles felt his lips tug at the thought, remembering the time he paid for the keys from Boyd. His heart swelled with sadness, remembering the lost friends over the years. Lydia squeezed his hand reassuringly, seeing him nod slowly, tugging him into the building.

Y/N sat in her room, perched on the ledge of her window. She watched the trees rustle violently outside in the wind, a storm hovering around their small town for the last twenty-four hours. She sighed loudly, leaning her head against the rattling glass.

“They are probably on their date right about now. I hope he enjoys himself. Lydia is a nice girl. Not like she was before I moved.” She sighed, closing her eyes. “As long as he is happy, that’s all that matters, right?”

She carefully reached for her bag on the floor to find the book she was reading, digging around in the contents aimlessly. Her fingers brushed something odd, her eyes narrowing at the bag. Her fingers wrapped around the object, pulling it out into the light.

She stared at the blue braided cord Stiles always worked on when he was inside of her, neatly tied off on the end in completion. She smiled to herself, wrapping the bracelet around her wrist until it was snug on her skin. Her eyes focused on it, her fingers twirling it around her wrist slowly.

Small droplets of water hit her hand, Y/N was slightly shocked. She slid off the window sill, rushing to her mirror, glancing at her reflection with wide eyes. Tears leaked down her cheeks, Y/N puzzled as to why. They started flowing without any reason, and she couldn’t stop no matter how much she tried.

“I...why? Why am I crying?”

She looked out the window from afar, seeing the wind dying down slightly. She took a deep breath, grabbed her bag and phone, skipping down the stairs quickly. Her house was quiet like always, driving the girl insane. She slid on her shoes, sending a quick text to Camile and Nia, letting them know she was coming over. With her bag slung over her shoulder, she bolted out the door down the street, ignoring the faint sound of cracking thunder and lightning in the distance that was approaching town.

Stiles walked silently down the road with Lydia, pondering the odd feeling he was having. He enjoyed his time with the strawberry blonde, but he felt an empty pit in his stomach. Like he knew that something wasn’t right.

That Lydia shouldn’t be the one he was on a date with.

He cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair, trying to act casual. “So, do you want to get something to eat or something? There is this nice cafe about a block from the school we can try.”

Lydia shook her head, hugging her purse close. “We should probably call it a day, Stiles.” Stiles opened his mouth to protest, Lydia stopping him by placing her neatly manicured finger to his lips. “It’s fine. I had a great time today. Just… You’re like a different person today. Like you’re thinking about someone else.” She backed away, staring up at him. “Who would have thought that Stiles Stilinski, the spazz that used to love Lydia Martin, had a crush on another girl.”

Lydia turned on her heel, giving Stiles a small wave as she left. Stiles stared at the ground, trudging his way towards Roscoe, pondering her words. He hated to admit that she was right. But the entire day, he couldn’t focus on the fact that he was out with his childhood crush. He was thinking about the girl he craved to know the name of. Was he really crushing on someone he couldn’t call by name?

The drive home was silent, Stiles collapsing on his bed once he arrived in his room. He didn’t bother to kick off his shoes or remove his flannel. He just stared at his ceiling, processing everything that had happened, pondering on what his true feelings were. Before he knew what was happening, his eyes drooped, falling into a deep sleep.

Stiles’ eyes cracked open, feeling his body swaying gently. He let out a groan as the sun his his eyes, groggily looking around him. He was sitting on a boat in the middle of the lake, recognizing the town the girl lived in, in the distance. He blinked, trying to figure out what was going on, looking down at his attire. His plaid shirt was unbuttoned and wide open, his chest in full view, and he was clad in red swim trunks. His brow knit together, wrinkles on his forehead.

Why was he here?

He heard splashes from the water, seeing her climbing onto the boat, pushing her hair back so it was out of her face. His eyes widened, mouth falling open at her appearance. She was only wearing a tight red bikini, her breasts plump and juicy. The back rode up her ass slightly, but she didn’t seem to care, nor was Stiles arguing at her appearance. He was in heaven, staring at the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen.

She looked over at him, giggling slightly.

“Stiles, baby. You gotta close your mouth or flies are gonna get in.”

She walked over with a sultry strut, leaning forward in front of him. Her breasts threatened to spill out of the bikini top, making Stiles’ mouth water. Her fingers brushed against his chin, pushing it up slightly to close his mouth. “There. No flies today.”

Stiles was at a loss for words. He felt his cock jump in his shorts, shuffling in his seat slightly. She giggled again at his shifty movements, carefully straddling his waist. Stiles’ breath hitched, losing all of the oxygen in his lungs. “W-What are you doing, baby?”

She leaned in, her lips brushing against his softly. “Giving you what you want. You want this, right Stiles? You want me, don’t you?”

He didn’t answer, leaning his head up to meet her lips with his. She hummed against him, his head tilting to envelop her lips completely. His hands gripped at her waist, tugging her closer, his kiss growing rougher and more demanding by the second. They shared hot, opened mouth kisses constantly, Stiles dominating each one whenever their lips met. Her hands wound around his neck, pressing her lips against his tightly, both moaning at the contact.

Stiles licked at her lips, feeling her part her lips just enough so his tongue could sneak inside. Her tongue met his, the wet appendages wrestling for dominance of the kiss. Stiles grinned at their playfulness, his hand slipping under her bikini top to fondle her breast. Feeling his warm hand around her caused her to lose concentration, Stiles immediately dominating the kiss. His tongue traced the insides of her mouth, memorizing the feeling.

She pulled away abruptly, leaving Stiles stunned. She just smiled, leaning back as he pulled at the string tied around her neck. The front of her bikini fell, her breasts fully exposed for him to see. Stiles couldn’t help but stare, admiring the perky breasts in front of him.

“What are you waiting for baby?” She said, slightly mockingly. “I want you to suck them.”

Stiles glanced up at her, nodding slightly when he leant forward, his lips wrapping around her nipple. She mewled happily, hands threading through his hair. He kissed her nipple gently, occasionally sucking it between his lips when he pulled away. His tongue darted out, flicking the hardened peak with the tip, swirling it around the bud. His hand groped her other breast tightly, massaging it between his fingers. His fingertips brushed against her soft skin, tweaking the bud between them. He would tug at both nipples simultaneously, giving them harsh pulls of the lips and fingers. She just moaned happily, tugging at his hair.

“Fuck, Stiles. I love when you play with my titties. Your fingers and mouth are the best.” She grabbed his hand when he swapped breasts, kissing at the other one equally as much. She shoved his hand between her legs, his fingers dipping into the waistband of her bikini bottoms. Stiles grunted against her breast, looking up at her while he sucked red marks along her skin. “Finger me, baby. Please.”

He wordlessly complied once again, two fingers struggling their way into her tight pussy. The angle wasn’t best to finger her, her clothed pussy pressing against his pelvis while he had his hand in her bottoms, but he made it work. She was tight because of their position, his fingers thrusting slow and deep into her. His lips and tongue continued to lap at her nipples, maximizing the amount of pleasure that was flowing through her veins.

He pulled away from her chest, moving to lay her on the seat on the deck, his fingers speeding up their thrusts. She moaned loudly, her voice echoing through the air. Stiles grinned at her noises, curling his fingers to brush her g-spot repeatedly, her body shaking every time he touched it. His thumb pressed against her clit, rubbing against it roughly whenever his fingers moved forward.

Her head fell back on the cushion seat Stiles awoke on, a hand tangled in her hair. “Fuck, Stiles. I’m going to cum soon. Go faster.”

“Whatever you want, princess,” Stiles muttered, his fingers speeding up. He added a third finger, hearing her scream when he stretched her open further, his fingers burying deep inside her until his knuckles touched her folds. Her back arched high off the seat, head pressing against the seat hard. “You like this? You like when I fuck you with my fingers?” Stiles asked, biting his lip when he heard the dirty words slip off his tongue. She nodded profusely, panting wildly. Her walls contracted, Stiles tugging his fingers out as soon as they did.

Her eyes snapped open, looking at the sarcastic boy. He was licking his fingers clean before he leaned over her, placing a hard kiss to her lips. She tasted herself on his lips and tongue, moaning into the sensual kiss they shared. She struggled to push him away, sitting up and pressing against him. She nearly ripped open the swim trunks he was wearing, Stiles lifting his hips so they could push the material down to his ankles. She straddled his waist, pushing the bikini bottoms aside when he aligned with her pussy. He groaned loudly as she slid down on him, his cock burying itself hilt deep in her pussy. She stilled momentarily, feeling his hardened cock pulsed against her walls. She rolled her hips against him, Stiles holding her waist.

“You’re so tight, baby,” he muttered, leaning back as much as he could on the cushions. He watched her shift against him, his cock emerging from her pussy already soaked in her juices before disappearing back into her. “Fuck, that is hot to watch.”

She grinned, tilting his head up to look at her in the eyes, staring deep into his brown orbs. She mumbled something he couldn’t hear, locking her lips with his. His eyes slid closed, groaning into the kiss when she shifted onto her knees more, bouncing faster on his cock. They shared sloppy kisses, Stiles relishing in the sensation of her tight pussy clinging around him, feeling her bounce quickly on his lap.

He pulled away to look at her again, trailing his eyes down her body. Her breasts jiggled as she bounced on his cock, nipples still as perky as they were before. Her back arched forward just enough to have contact with him. Her toes curled into the air, obviously enjoying the feeling she had. Her body shook occasionally, and Stiles presumed it was a wave of desire that ran through her body, tightening the knot in her core.

Stiles held her waist again, his feet planting firmly on the deck of the boat. His hips jerked up to meet her in perfect harmony, her head falling back as she screamed his name. “Fuck Stiles! Right there baby! I’m going to cum so hard.”

Stiles grunted, slamming his cock up into her whenever her hips came down on his. “Fuck. Me too, baby. Cum with me.”

She nodded, Stiles carefully using one hand to rub her clit, pressing hard circles into it. Her screaming filled the air around them. Her body convulsing from the stimulation on her clit and rough pounding from his cock. Her body exploded, the knot unraveling quickly when he thrust into her again. Her juices splattered her walls around his cock, coating the length of his shaft completely. Stiles groaned, feeling the warmth increase, walls constricting around him. Strings of hot, white cum shot from his tip inside of her, mixing with the juices that leaked from her core. They moaned together, Stiles feeling her arms wrap around his neck tightly. He gently thrust up into her, prolonging their orgasms. When they finally relaxed, she placed a soft kiss to his lips, his cock softening inside of her.

“Stiles,” she whispered, pulling back to look at him. “Do you remember my name?”

Stiles opened his mouth to answer, no words coming out of it. She smiled sadly at him, running a hand through his hair. “Do you remember me?”

Stiles thumped to the floor, having rolled off the bed in his sleep. He groaned, looking around at his bedroom walls. “Great. Now I‘m having sex dreams about her.” He looked down at his jeans, seeing the tent in the material. “And I have an erection. Just lovely.”

He laid there for a minute, remembering the vivid dream he had. It felt so real, yet was obviously nothing more than a fantasy.

“But why was I fantasizing about her?” he asked himself, looking at the red bracelet on his wrist. “Maybe… Lydia was right. Maybe I am crushing on her.”

He stumbled to his feet, digging through his desk drawer. His fingers picked up the small paper, a phone number written on it. He stared at the numbers, remembering when she told him she left him her number. He was always too scared to call her, unsure what to say when he couldn’t remember her name. He had vowed to call her when he remembered it, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He yanked his phone from his pocket, almost dropping it in the process, and typed in the number on the paper. It rang once… twice…

 “The number you are trying to call is not available or has been turned off…”

 ...But… the sensation that I’ve lost something lingers for a long time after I wake up.

[theconfessionsofanoverthinker]

My boyfriend pt 1

Wow, how do I want to start? I want to really get into it so I can have fresh vivid images and feelings and true thoughts and re-encounter how amazing it really was. Oh my gosh I can’t even fully describe what’s going on. I love this kid, I really do have love for him already. I’m going to do my best. Okay do I’ll come back in pt 2 with actual dates and stuff but I’ll jump right into the beginning. I had recently cut off this crazy ass guy that I met on Tinder and I’m like ok fuck it let’s try this again. I was getting so bored I swear tinder was soo ugly I couldn’t even hold conversations with half of those guys. And then I came across Charlie, ugh he was just so adorable. The obvious caught my eye, nice cars, nice eyes, nice hair, nice clothes. And WEED. And he was 21? How could I ask for more? And I had literally fallen for him by the time we matched, I think I waited maybe a day or less before I just shot my shot. I said “sheeeesh” with a few heart eye emojis and he said something like “Look at you”, and I just died. Was it too good to be true already? What was the catch? Fake acc??? Dude I don’t even know, but I was quick to gtfo of Tinder and asked for his snapchat, which went well. He sent me a selfie at one point when talking and all was fine, I really wanted to hang out with him because I suck at replying and I didn’t want to lose this chance and fuck it up by having out convo go dead. I had already told so many people about him too it was so crazy I was really getting my hope up for this guy. I mentioned him to my coworker Christiane, my siblings, Dora! And here I am, dating him??? He’s my man, my boyfriend, he’s mine. But it was a little challenging at first, I wanted to meet up on the weekend but he’s 21 so he was out doing 21 things w his friends of course. He went to ugly ass Darna and the MGM both places I can’t go to smh. Anyways, he’s definitely flirting with me as we’re talking, and I just kept mentioning that we should hang out. I asked him to come over and he actually said yes ?? oh bruh, he pulled up and was v cute. He was wearing a black shirt and jeans, I was wearing a long sleeve t shirt and shorts since we were just cooling it at my house I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. I was actually so shook like omg, I went and told my mom that I was having a friend over and then yeah ((((: She was iffy of course, and one of the first things he said was that my room was “comfy” and it’s funny just last night he mentioned that he was relieved that I didn’t smell like basic bitch. Which is basically like VS but I’m on the other boat of basic at Bath and Body works lmaooo, he’ll find out later though. It’s funny because I do want to get into nicer perfumes anyways, so it’s good timing. Continuing, we were drinking Patron as our first drink omg. Only a few shots and they were half shots because he was driving far back home and he had gone to a bar beforehand. It’s crazy because we totally vibed together and I knew we both felt it, like we were feeling each other but at the same time I we could’ve been cool ass friends. And I’m glad that we have a bff feeling relationship, like that’s my mf boyfriend but that my mf mans too. He literally gives me diarrhea of the mouth, and as someone that can never stop talking it’s crazy to think that I could talk anymore than I already do without not being able to breath between words. At the same time my mind gets jumbled up and I lose my train of thought and I don’t know what to say. Some things just jump out and others just take so long to formulate and I second guess it but even when I cross reference stories and get lost Charlie always reminds me what the whole point of the conversation was. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Good luck Charlie, Charlie and Lola? Charlie is literally so gorgeous, even though he might be wearing colored contacts lmfaoo. And it’s funny bc this other hoe ik wears them so I subtweeted and I wonder if he thinks it’s about him. I love him for appreciating my little butt and my little boobs. See how I keep getting distracted, I can’t even tell our story bc he’s so great and all his little details excite me a lot. Ok so we hung out and he didn’t even kiss me or try to do much but he did flirt with me I think? I couldn’t even tell if he was being friendly or not.  The next time we hung out we drank again, and same thing. It was nice we cooled it but nothing big. As soon as he asked for my number though, I KNEW he was fucking w me. And then I think that it was the 3rd time I copped us coke, and it honestly sucks that my memory is so hazy. Especially with someone that I care about so much and such significant moments, I wish I could remember everything. I wish I could relive it and remember. That’s why this blog is so important to me, I need to remember the good because it seems that only bad and traumatic moments stick to me and cling to my mind. I remember being on my couch and just leaned over and he kissed me and I just exploded. I wish I could remember what I was wearing, what show was on the TV, what time and day it was. I’ll investigate but there’s only so much information I can gather. I don’t want him to know that my mind is burnt as much as it is, I don’t want Charlie to think that something’s wrong with me. And looking back at out 1 month of talking and me falling for him, all I do is talk and talk and I probably seem mildly crazy and self centered. This is not my world, and these people aren’t just living in it. I don’t even know much about him, he’s gonna come over today and I’m going to just ask him everything and stfu. I wish I wasn’t so me, me, me all the fucking time. It’s probably so noticeable and ugly. My fucking baby. I am SO happy he is mine like wow I want him to feel appreciated. I want him to feel good, and I want him to be so happy to be with me and say I’m his girlfriend too. UGH I just missed a good writing opportunity just now while Kukuwa went to lunch. I have a new motivation and yeah it’s to look good for myself but it’s also to look good for my boyfriend, I can only wear so much make up and jewelry. My true looks, frizzy hair, fat stomach, and flat ass will always peek out no matter how I dress it up. I need to work on it, I can’t be out with a cute ass guy like him and not look like a bad ass bitch. So far we’ve been to the movies together, and the fair. But those are separate stories, and this will literally go on forever and ever. I wanted to write every detail I could possibly remember, and I can’t wait to add things to our scrapbook, it’s going to be so lit. He’s motivated me to stay more financially stable so that I can sustain us both, so we can have fun and can continuously have a nice time. I want to go everywhere, I want to go on trips and go see the world and have real adventures with my love. Fall is coming up and we’re going to do the whole sha-bang, I want to go to the pumpkin patch, horror fest at Kings Dominion, I want to dress up as something doesn’t have to match or anything. I want to take corny ass photos, and I REALLY want to carve pumpkins. I want to be able to get naked and let you love me, to embrace me and to kiss me everywhere. I want to be able to feel good and confident in front of my boyfriend. I recently got some new products hopefully they can help with the new scars bumps and the old scars, I feel like it’s going to take forever but I hope it’ll go quick. I need to start taking my vitamins and just take care of myself in general. Going back to Charlie instead of going on and on about my pointless and selfish insecurities, as soon as we kissed I felt myself melt into my underwear. I Felt myself wanting more and more, wanting to just grab him and love him everywhere. Literally the night that I discovered the song “Sleepwalk” by Santo and Johnny was right after we just had our first kiss and the riff at the first 7 seconds of the song just climaxes the same slow and tender way that these feelings hug my insides and gently squeezes my heart with small pools and waves of care and affection. I’m sure there’s a better way to organize those thoughts and feelings but I want it to be true and raw. He is just so pretty, Charlie is soo pretty to me I don’t know what to do. We had an unspoken trust where we gave each other everything. Sometimes I want to rip his face off because hes just so mesmerizing to me. It would super duper suck if he has brown eyes he’d look fine of course but the bragging rights that I have a boo w hazel eyes is veryyy high for me. He told me that he’d be having a oc for a whole week and that I’m invited of course, we’ll see how that goes. I’m not going to lie but the fact that I haven’t met his mom makes me nervous and hurt. What if she doesn’t like me or doesn’t approve of me, and we’re already dating as boyfriend and girlfriend? I really do think that it matters and I almost jokingly met her last night but I didn’t like my outfit enough for a first impression and I honestly do think it matter so much dude. This is the first and last image she’ll see of me until the next time I’d see her and who knows how long that’ll be. Not only that im trying to get hit from the back soooo bad omg I miss back shots so bad but I feel like we can’t catch the same rhythm. It sucks because the one time we did it was the first time we had sex in his little side room in his basement. And DUDE I’m lowkey embarrassed I did this weak ass little roll on his dick. I think our sex is really good, but it could be better. I haven’t cheated on him and I can feel that my pussy is tight and I can tell that he feels it too.   

8/28/2019

[ericlwoods]

A sucker for a good kit lens. That would be me. But more on that later.

I have traded a lot of gear since the digital interchangeable lens gear churn started a few years back. Occasionally I have regretted trades and bought gear more than once. Once a brand I bought into twice burned me badly, but with a little fortunate timing there terrible business practices also provided me the trade currency necessary to land a full frame DSLR body that cost way more than I would be willing to pay outright. Funny how trade money can feel like funny money when you do not have to open your wallet.

Back to Alpha.

This time it is a Sony lens that found its way back in to my camera bag. What was wrong with the lens the first time? Absolutely nothing actually. It was traded because I did not fully warm up to the camera it was attached to, the Sony A7. But 2 years is forever in the camera world nowadays and a lot has changed with this mount. What? Glad you asked.

 Sub G. Except for the K-1 I have never acquired an above $1,000 body. Either the new price was sub a grand or I purchased them second hand. But as of recent an A7ii dipped below his threshold and I jumped on it.

In body IS. Of all the A7ii additions/modifications that addressed the reasons I traded the A7 (better ergonomics, superior materials and such) this is tops. After all the main draw then and now is adapting legacy 35mm glass to a  full frame sensor. The Pentax K-1 sold me on this IS/full frame combo and the A7 bests that since it can be adapted to even more lenses owing to it’s mirrorlessness.

Lenses. This above all else doomed my first go around with Sony. Two years ago I scored an A7 when it’s new price dropped below a G when the A7ii dropped. But after the full frame fog cleared and the Mitakon haze dissipated I swiftly realized that I could not afford Sony’s native AF lenses. “Nifty 50? No, we have a Zeiss 55mm though. Price? Oh. More than you paid for your camera. You like 85mms? Are you sitting down? And all our zooms are priced out of reach even though we do not yet do f/2.8… but when we do you will not be able to afford them either.” But since then a couple of primes have caught my eye. They offer great specs and even better prices.

FE 50mm f/1.8

A true nifty 50. Though a bit pricier than alternatives and some disparage it’s AF speeds I am not that worried since I use MF mostly anyway so any AF is about acceptable in my book.

FE 85mm f/1.8

Though a few days from release as of this writing on line tests are already touting this as a bargain Batis. And with a sub $600 asking price day 1 ’nuff said for me

But first.

There was one exception my first Sony go around. One outlier where bargain price met stellar performance. Especially if you were willing to pick one up second hand. Why was it exceptional? As I read and found out:

While reasonable new and bundled as a kit lens the used market was littered with examples that were likely spurned kit lenses of those seeking greener slight wide to mild tele pastures. Amazing a $250 or less. (KEH’s current stock as exhibit A)

I try not to get caught up in specs and I read in a few places that for all the extra cost the optical performance of the humble 28-70mm often held it’s own against it’s pricier step up 24-70mm ball of f/4 constant aperture goodness. The 24-70mm f/4 (new f/2.8 is clearly out of my reach) is better I am sure, but the 28-70mm easily falls in to that will do territory. In fact they both hold the same score of 4.5 on Sony’s own website.

Surprisingly like the 24-70mm it is “Dust and moisture-resistant design”. Nice touch for a value lens.

The lens barely extends at all during it’s full zoom sweep. Not internal zoom technically, but as close as you could get.

Small and light.

Silent focus. Completely silent focusing.

Fast focusing. Very fast focusing.

OSS, or Image Stabilization. In their value offering. This combined with the last few bullets let’s you know that high content value Sony lenses were possible.

Versatile. With it’s humble aperture specs there is no mind blowing bokeh, nor sliver this depth of field to be found here, but that is it. It can muster acceptable isolation under the right conditions, but is excels at nearly anything else that falls within it’s focal range.

Last, but not least none of this matters if it does not produce acceptable images. And yes. Yes, it does. Way more than acceptable IQ. This humble lens was the definite bright spot in my first Sony experience.

Sharp

Great, vivid colors

There may be distortion, but none to a level that I took notice of and I any that would appear could be dispatched by hitting it with the lightroom stick.

Because of this I wasted no time in purchasing this lens as the first round 2 AF lens after securing the A7ii.

Still there? Just received the replacement copy and I look forward to getting around to using it. Until then here is the existing gallery link where images will be added and below are samples from this lens on the A7. Happy shooting.

-ELW

New Lens To Me… again: Sony 28-70mm A sucker for a good kit lens. That would be me. But more on that later.

[bluxhi]

OH!….HE FANCY ✨

He's done!! :3

Time to do more.. sighhhh

[bluxhi]

OMG LETSSS GOOOOOOOOO LOOK AT MY BOY

😮🥹☝️

He's done!! :3

Time to do more.. sighhhh