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elliespeach · 1 year ago

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tear you apart | ellie williams

˗ˏˋ"if your friends won't watch over you, i will." ´ˎ˗

pairing ellie wiliams x fem reader synopsis ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place. heavily heavily based on the book/tv show "you" on netflix wordcount 4k warnings gosh where do i start, stalking both cyber and in person, ellie is obsessive, manipulative, a gaslighter, a pervert lowkey, possessive and easily jealous, she breaks into readers apartment and goes thru your stuff, shes also so delusional like top tier delulu, shes based off joe goldberg so i mean put the pieces together. this is all from her perspective, most if not all of the inner monologue is ellie's thoughts about you, the italics is verbatim what she is thinking in that very moment if that makes sense. like joe, all of her actions are justified in her mind, and she doesn't see anything wrong with them. reader has a dysfunctional family. pls lmk if i am missing something! authors note hi hello hi, i have been so excited to post this!! just wanted to clarify this rn, i am bringing in a LOT of elements from the book and show, especially in this part, if it seems very similar thats why. i don't plan on following the plot line for season one, but i needed a good base to jump off of, dont hate me. n yes, readers best friend is shauna from yellowjackets i couldn't help myself. i needed a girl group, sue me. cat is apart of this girl group, not ellie's ex along w dina, also not ellie's ex in this au lol

fuckin’ trash, ellie thought to herself, looking over the torn up vinyl in her hands. the guy who returned it obviously had no fucking clue how to take care of something. especially something so needing of love. she placed the vinyl down on the counter beside the register before stepping into the back of the store, grabbing her tools of restoration. as she rummaged through a drawer, the familiar bell rang from the front door indicating a new customer, but she ignored it and continued searching for the sandpaper she always left laying around somewhere. the last drawer she opened was the winner, taking her supplies, she emerged from the small room into the front of the store, the beads in the doorway swaying as she walked through them.

thats when her eyes found you, examining the vinyl left on the counter. you hadn’t noticed her yet, too engrossed in the mishandled vinyl. she watched you for a moment as you looked it over, tracing the scratches that lined it. to ellie, you looked to be the definition of a nice girl. sporting a flowy sundress that laid just below your ass. nice girl who likes attention, she thought to herself, looking you up and down from afar.

she played it cool, keeping her eyes on the sandpaper and cloth in her hands as she made her way back to the counter. you finally took notice of her when she stood in front of you. “oh, hi,” you smiled brightly, to which ellie looked up. “whoever handled this vinyl should be in jail.” a sense of humor, ellie smiled at you, letting a breathy laugh fall from her lips. and an appreciation for vinyls, rare.

“a life sentence, for sure.” she spoke, and you laughed. a laugh that was genuine, not forced by politeness.

“can you point me to where i could find a david bowie album, ellie?” you asked sweetly, and she had to remember she wore a name tag. flirting with me and you like david bowie? ellie’s grateful its a tuesday afternoon, the store is dead. giving her more time to talk with you. you, who seemed to never stop smiling at her.

“against the wall,” she pointed. “third box from the left.” she lets you wander over yourself, taking the time to admire the way you carry yourself. you had a pair of red, heart shaped sunglasses resting on your head. ellie could tell you liked to pay attention to details, it was evident in the way you matched your sunglasses to your dress, and she wondered just how many pairs you owned. both short dresses and uniquely designed sunglasses together. her head tilted at the thought, switching her over chewed gum to the other side of her mouth.

you rifled through the box as ellie’s gaze pierced your back, although you were seemingly unaware. david bowie, she thought again. not another stuck up gen z who only listens to who is in the top one hundred, no. no, you were special. ellie put her focus onto the vinyl in front of her, slowly dampening it with the cloth before grinding the sandpaper over the scratches. but she kept you in her peripheral vision and she couldn’t help but notice you were struggling to find a specific one, or at least it looked like it.

“need help?” she asked you, keeping her voice neutral.

your body turned to face her, meeting her eyes and a faux pout on your lips.“i think the only one i want isn’t here, or i’m seriously blind.”

ellie chuckled, coming out from behind the counter, “my money’s on blind, just organized this box a few days ago.”

you huffed lightly, standing to the side while she approached you and the box. “i can’t find the rise and fall of ziggy stardust, it’s one of my favorites.”

of course it is. ellie barely looked in the box before she saw the album, pulling it out and holding it out for you. “i’ll book your eye appointment,” she said with a light grin.

“ugh, my hero,” you gushed, taking the album from her hands gently. i’ll always be your hero, but something tells ellie that you didn’t really need her help to begin with.

“c’mon, i’ll ring you up,” ellie led you back to the register and you placed the vinyl down on the counter lightly.

“promise i won’t do what that guy did,” you joked, reaching into your bag for your wallet.

ellie almost wishes you would. you’d come in a few days later, apologizing for being so clumsy but asking if she could fix it for you. of course, she would say yes. how could she say no to someone like you? “you couldn’t if you tried, pretty sure he did it on purpose.”

“what makes you say that?”

“just a hunch,” ellie shrugs, scanning the barcode on the vinyl.

“maybe his dogs got it, or worse, his kids.” you kept eye contact as you spoke, which shocked ellie. a lot of people would break away, divert conversation, maybe even stay silent all together. but not you.

“if that guy had kids, i’d feel bad for them,” to a lot of people, this comment would rub them the wrong way, and ellie internally cursed herself for saying it. you’re a sweetheart in her eyes, someone who wouldn’t think things like that, but again, you laughed. the transaction was almost over and she was grasping at straws, so she kept going. “guys like him blame everything on everyone else, i wouldn’t be surprised if his kids actually hated him but,”

your head tilted, waiting for more. to ellie, it looked like you were hanging onto every word she said. and she relished in it. “–thats only if someone wanted to have kids with him, which i highly doubt.”

“from what i’m hearing it doesn’t sound like anyone would want to,” you’re trusting my judgment. ellie’s lips curled up with your words, and she bagged the vinyl in a plastic bag. you handed her a credit card, which was decorated with flowers along with your name. and you want me to know your name. you could’ve used cash, the vinyl was less than twenty dollars. but no, ellie knew better and she knew you better. your eyes found the scratched up vinyl yet again, “but you can fix it?”

ellie swiped the card against her own wishes. she’d give you the whole store if you asked with that pretty smile. “it’ll be back in the box within the hour, why? you like pink floyd?”

“yeah, for the most part. i haven’t listened to that album yet,”

“i can put it on hold for you.” ellie rushes out, and she feels like she came on too strong. you could easily listen to it on spotify but she reminds herself that you’re in her store for a reason. you probably own a vinyl player, an older model you got off of facebook marketplace because the newer ones don’t match your personality. maybe a pioneer or a yamaha, and now shes thinking about how you probably dance around your room listening to music. your response breaks her from her imagination.

“that’d be great, thanks ellie,” but she can see it so perfectly in her mind, you’d wear a big t-shirt and a dainty pair of underwear. twirling and spinning about, the t-shirt riding up as you did and as you stood in front of her in that short dress her mind seemed to unravel and she had to clear her throat.

“anytime–” she tacked your name at the end of her words with a smile, handing back your card which you very quickly put in your wallet. her eyes glanced down for a split second, admiring how the dress pushed your tits together before bringing them back up to your face.

“aren’t you going to tell me to have a good day?” you teased much to ellie’s enjoyment, reaching out for the bag she was holding for you.

“have a good day,” your fingers grazed hers, and ellie knew it had to be on purpose. a flirt, and a good one at that.

“you too, ellie. i’ll be back for that album.”

you left the store as quickly as you came, taking your sweet vanilla scent with you. ellie thought about your interaction all day, it consumed her walk home and when she entered her small apartment she fell to her couch and opened her laptop.

plugging your name into any and all social medias was easy, who could forget a name like yours? all your accounts were public, and very quickly ellie could tell just what kind of person you were. the sweet girl who loved vinyls who had an addiction to posting online. your twitter was filled with random, obscure thoughts and always with a hashtag at the end of them. from time to time you’d tweet about where you were, and ellie tsk’d out loud to herself. anyone could find you within seconds, you need to be more careful. you seemed to tweet about everything in your life and ellie refreshed the page, wishing to see a post about the cute girl in the vinyl shop who helped you find your favorite album.

yet, there was nothing. and for a moment it hurt her, but the more she thought about it, it was better you didn’t post about her. that means it was real for you, hope remains.

facebook provided the basics of your family, although the account was inactive. but your parents who divorced a few years back seemed to only post about your younger siblings, leaving her to wonder if they didn’t approve of your lifestyle in the city. she stalked their pages like it was her job and at this point it felt like it was. she discovered that your two younger siblings went off to college out west and your parents even sold their home to be closer to them while still living separate lives. ellie felt pity for you, how could they just leave you behind?

your instagram feed was an aesthetic one, pictures posted solely to appease your followers. a pretty sunset here, a mirror selfie there, a quick post about the food from the restaurant just down the road from ellie’s shop. there were also posts about your own art, colorful and detailed, just like yourself. a painting you did was the last thing you posted, but this one wasn’t like your other ones, it was black and white and had a lonely floating balloon in the center and the borders were lined with overlapping words. ellie could make out only a few of them, ‘melancholy’, ‘nobody’, and ‘distress’.

there were lots of group pictures of you with friends. ellie could see you looked more authentic than them, who all seemed to resemble something out of a factory for young adults. you were a pearl in a sea of clams.

out of curiosity, ellie brought herself to your friend’s pages as well. she needed to see the types of people you spent time with, seeing if they were someone she would approve of for you. one friend made an appearance more than others and she assumed that was your so-called best friend, a spunky city girl named shauna. her own instagram was like an influencer’s guide to posting online, and she seemed like someone ellie would avoid at all costs. shauna’s posts of you always had you in the background, or if you were directly in the frame it was a candid where shauna looked better. she's making herself look better at your own expense, can't you see that?

your other friend’s social media were bland and unhelpful. ellie brought herself back to the task at hand. she typed your name into google and watched the loading screen. your name brought up a string of links all connecting back to your art pieces you’ve submitted to local papers and art galleries. an artist in new york city, aren’t you ambitious. maybe your parents didn’t like the instability of being an artist. but yet, you still pursue your passion. its admirable.

what also popped up was a white pages link, with a few clicks, and a small charge to her credit card she found exactly what she was looking for. there wasn’t much she could do with your phone number, texting you would be creepy. there was no way for her to explain how she got it, so the next best thing was your address. which, lucky for ellie, was only six blocks from her own.

if she could find it this easily, she needed to make sure that no one else did. which is how she found herself standing across the street from your apartment, peering into the windows that had no blinds, no curtains, no protection from the outside world. you were on full display for all of new york. first thing were doing together is buying you blinds. you were lounging around on your coach, scrolling through your phone and periodically shifting in your spot to get more comfortable.

it was dark now, and again, luckily for ellie, someone standing on the sidewalk of new york wasn’t a weird thing to do and no one paid her any mind. for days she would stand in the same spot, studying your movements throughout your apartment. sometimes you would go to bed on the early side, but most nights you were fully awake, sipping something out of a purple mug which she could only assume was coffee, and drawing lines on a canvas.

everytime you would take a break and scroll through your phone, ellie would refresh every social media, waiting for a post. your fingers danced on the keyboard and after a few refreshes on ellie’s end, your twitter had a new post.

@yndoesartstuff: if anyone has tips on how not to procrastinate finishing a wip, please enlighten me

if you just put down your phone, i’m sure you could get it done.

one night she watched as you dipped your wet brush into the purple mug instead of the designated paint water cup. they didn’t even look similar, but ellie laughed to herself while you groaned, tossing your head back before getting up to dump the liquid out of the mug. this would also be the first night ellie gawked at you while your hands dipped below your shorts, she quickly looked around. no one else seemed to notice that you were pleasing yourself with your own gentle hands and her eyes found you again, sprawled out on your couch.

your back arched, obviously hitting your sweet spot and ellie swallowed hard. blinds. were getting you blinds.

some days, ellie was too busy with the store to watch over you and she hated herself for it. too tired to walk the six blocks and instead just looking over your social media again, looking through your friends posts to see if you’ve been up to anything. you had never come back for the album, which ellie had finished nearly two weeks ago now. but tonight, as she locked up the store she knew she was going straight to the sidewalk adjacent from your apartment.

when she arrived at her usual spot she saw you through the windows and you looked too well put together for a night to yourself. you were dolled up and ellie liked to imagine it was for her, you’d leave your apartment and head to the store for the album you said you’d come back for weeks ago. but her hope was squashed when a cab pulled up outside your apartment and a woman who looked way too old started to walk up the steps to the building and entered the main door. ellie had been here enough to know the general look of your building's inhabitants, and this woman wasn’t one of them. maybe someone's mom, maybe she's visiting a friend. she can’t be here for you. no way.

but through the windows, with no blinds, she saw you open your door for this woman and welcome her into your home. your mom. it has to be. ellie’s eyebrows narrowed when you pulled this woman into a hug, then pulled back and let your lips kiss hers. okay, so not your mom. who the fuck is this?

ellie, whose eyes were going from her phone to the big windows of your apartment, began to search through your online presence and found no traces of her. this mysterious woman who, now, you seemed to be having a highschool make out session with on your couch, was all over you, touching you, kissing you, and worst of all, pleasing you. that sweet smile that had previously been for ellie, was now for this woman and it made ellie’s stomach turn. but she didn’t leave, instead watched while the two of you began to peel each other's clothes off.

were getting you blinds and were getting rid of this woman.

the next day while she opened up her store, she couldn’t help but think about you and this woman. she was frustrated, of course. but she couldn’t blame you, obviously this woman was prying on your weaknesses for her own pleasure. taking advantage of you. it sickened her, and she had to know more. she had been through every following list she could think of and still, this woman was a mystery. and as she refreshed your twitter (a new hobby of hers), a new post popped up.

@yndoesartstuff: lunch date with @shaunamavisxx never felt so right – at hoppers tavern

seeing that, ellie locked up shop way too early. it was fairly easy to make her way into your apartment, all she had to do was play the part. “sorry, my girlfriend hasn’t given me a key to this door yet,” she said with a friendly smile to your neighbor, who out of the kindness of his heart let her into the building. she waited until he was in his own apartment before picking your lock.

it smelled like you once she stepped inside, and she let the aroma fill her nose as she walked around. it was messy, canvases piled up everywhere along with dirty paint brushes. clothes lined your floor from the bedroom all the way to the kitchen and she had to force herself not to clean it up for you. she examined your paintings up close, admiring how the strokes on the canvas looked. she noticed you draw a small bird in every corner, the bird is plump, uncolored and holding a small twig. it was your signature, and it matched you so well. but, what she really was after was your laptop, she found it sitting on your unmade bed.

no password? she was shocked, and made a mental note to tell you that you needed to secure your devices. it’s almost as if you wanted her to search through it to get to know you better, and ellie did just that. it was linked to your phone and as she went through your messages they all seemed to be relatively normal. for someone like you, at least.

loads of messages from a group chat labeled city gals, and she knew it wasn’t you who had named it being as you were funnier than that, and less basic. scrolling up, all the conversation in the chat was merely nothing of note, no mention of this woman to your friends which ellie found odd. maybe just a hookup? but even then, wouldn’t you tell your friends?

ellie could gauge your friends' personalities through the texts they would send, shauna was most definitely the unnamed leader of this group, probably also the one who named the chat. her texts were mostly about planning activities, meanwhile the others just tacked on with fake enthusiastic responses. even yourself.

leaving the group chat, she continued to scroll down your messages and found an unsaved phone number which seemed to be the winner. you don’t have her number saved, this is good. a lot of your texts to her went unanswered, left on seen and only responded once you’d ask for her to come over. that usually generated a reply within minutes from this woman, who ellie still didn’t know the name of. it angered her even further, realizing she was just toying you along. only using you for your body when you were so much more than that.

ellie jotted down the unsaved number into her notes app, saving it for later when she could find out just exactly who this woman was. it was clear from the texts that she wanted nothing to do with you, and you still kept texting her like a sad puppy. it was pathetic, really, but ellie didn’t judge. she knew that your attention seeking habits were brought on by your dysfunctional family, she just wished it was her on the receiving end.

she found herself in your emails and saw you had an abundant amount of unread ones. it was a lot of spam and a waste of time, so she moved on. she decided it was best to go into your search history, restaurants, art galleries that allowed online submissions, sometimes even silly questions that ellie would most definitely answer for you if you asked.

“how do magicians do their cutting in half tricks?” you would ask her from the couch while ellie made you both dinner.

she’d call out from the stove, “there’s a fake table, the girl puts her legs through that. the legs you see on the other end are fake, baby.” and you would giggle sweetly as you always did, thanking her for being a know-it-all.

but as she continued to scroll further and further down your search history, she saw that the day you two had met, you googled “vinyl stores near me” and ellie’s was the first to pop up. she thanked every star in the universe for such a coincidence, but the more she thought about it, it couldn’t have been a coincidence because to her, it was always meant to be.

suddenly your laptop dinged and a new message appeared at the top from city gals. it was shauna and she was proposing a night out and it didn’t take long at all for the rest of the chat to respond.

shauna: drinks at our favorite spot tonight?

dina: totally what time

shauna: like 8 ish?

cat: sounds good to me

shauna: im with our heavy drinker, she says yes too!! see u guys then

dina: hangin w out us :( rude

cat: yeah wtf

shauna: oh hush its no biggie, we’ll see you guys tonight

ellie sat back as the texts rolled in, heavy drinker? ellie didn’t like the sound of it, and your friends seemed to think it was funny. bet they don’t even watch over you when you’re plastered, leaving you alone where anyone could hurt you. a few clicks on your instagram and she found a group mirror picture in a dirty bar bathroom, and the location clear as day at the top of the post. she confirmed it with a few other pictures and a deep dive of your twitter. gotta stop putting your location everywhere.

ellie knew your lunch date with shauna would be ending soon and you’d return home to start getting ready for the evening. she shut your laptop down, placing it exactly where it was on the bed before and started towards the door to leave. as she was on her way out, a bright red thong caught her eye. it was so carelessly thrown between the couch and the table next to it and she stuffed them into her pocket before locking the door behind her on the way out. she knew you’d never notice, your apartment already looked like a tornado had been through it seven times over.

she played with the string of fabric in her pocket as she walked down the sidewalk back to her place, contemplating the night to come. if your friends won't watch over you, i will.

read part two here :)

#ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams the last of us #ellie williams au #modern!ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader

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throwawayhero · 4 months ago

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hii!! could u please do headcannons for katsuki in a relationship with a trans man reader?? Tysm!!

Of course lovely! And thank you so much for sending in a request! Please feel free to correct any mistakes that I make, but I'll try my best! I wasn't exactly sure how to make the hc's specifically relationship orientated, so it's sort of a thin line sorry! c/w; afab, lgbtqia+, course language, menstruation, no quirks mentioned

He honestly had no clue you were trans when the two of you met for the first time. He had no reason to. And tbh, he didn't give a fuck when you told him. He sort of just.. shrugged and moved on? Nothing more, nothing less. But if you weren't already out when you met him and you realised how you truly felt a bit into the friendship.. he still didn't give a fuck! He accepted you, obviously, and he 'encouraged' you, in his own way, to test things out.

"Okay? Fuck does that have to do with me?"

He especially liked helping you pick out clothes. When asked to go with you to go clothes shopping, he would complain and tell you to get someone else to go with you.. but he would still grab his keys and rush you out the door (: (That's why your style is majorly inspired by his.)

When you told him what your new name was, he immediately said that it was better than your other "shitty ass" name. He also changed your contact name as soon as he could.

When you got your first masc hair cut you didn't tell him beforehand, so when you bumped into him and surprised him with it he stared at it for a good minute with a frown before saying that it looked better than the "rats nest" you had before. Bonus points if you did any form of bleaching and/or dyeing it, he says it makes you look less boring.

"At least now you look like you actually have a personality."

If he catches someone calling/referring to you by your deadname, whether it was intentional or not, he's onto their ass IMMEDIATLEY and he is NOT polite about it. He will sass them tf up.

"Who's that? Oh, you mean ****, right?" "Come again?" / "Excuse you?" / "Pardon?"

Kinda had no idea what binders were before you told him what they were used for. Insisted you got ones with cool designs and called you boring for getting solid colour ones only.

Genuinely became so much more involved with the LGBTQIA+ community because of you. His first Mardi Gras was a night he will literally never forget, for both good and bad reasons. If you dare MENTION a feather boa, he'll start having flashbacks.

He doesn't put that much thought into his sexuality. He's just the type of person to not gaf, yk? Call him what you want, he wasn't gonna sit there and confirm or deny. He just knew that he had been attracted to girls and guys his whole life, regardless of the extra stuff.

When you got your period for the first time around him he was pretty neutral about it. When you mentioned the dysphoria it gave you he did try his best to console you, but it just ended up making you laugh. He really did try to keep you distracted, even if he struggled exponentially. He let you use his Netflix to watch a movie/TV show while you hung out. ACTUALLY understood that cramps hurt like a bitch and gave you pain relief and snacks.

"Jeans cannot be comfortable for you right now, ya masochist."

Went with you to every T-shot appointment. He wasn't obvious about it but he always made sure that his hand was there for you to hold if you got paranoid about the needle hurting. Noticed the effects quicker than everyone else and claimed that he "won" at being the most supportive.

"You guys suck at this."

He helped you save up for top & bottom surgery and surprised you with the rest of the money you needed on a random Tuesday night. He'd never admit it but he "almost" teared up at the sight of how happy you were that night. And you'll pretend like you never saw the tear roll down his cheek.

#mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #katsuki bakugo #mha bakugou #my hero academia #bakugou x you #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #dynamight #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugou #lgbtq #lgbtqia #trans ftm #afab reader #throwawayhero

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mrinafria · 5 months ago

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Lovely Runner on Netflix from August 1.

Oh the laugh I laughed. Their struggle so far has been VERY real xD

@ Netflix, now you can use actual scenes from the show instead of recycling Wooseok and Hyeyoon's old shows on your platform. Must have been hard lol>>>

Excuse me in advance for acting all elite and shizz xD but I'll always take pride in the fact that I chose this show when it was nothing. When only a few of us, scattered across the globe, thought of watching a show with no ratings, no promotions, a single very basic poster, no hype. It was this tiny thing, our small weekly dose of happiness. Our Monday-Tuesday therapy.

I'm so grateful to have been there seeing it grow and flourish till this point. As an OG audience, the motherly instincts and the urge to protect the show and the cast at all costs is so real I'm just T-T

Live watching Lovely Runner has been a glorious experience, with all the anticipation, no spoilers, 124312 theories, detectiv-ing, inferencing, group chats, dms, edits, essays, character/scene analyses and all those sleep deprived nights and days because time zones are a thing. It allowed me to meet some of the sweetest, warmest, most sensible people from different corners of the world. It allowed me to love Wooseok and Hyeyoon and everyone in the cast and crew who wanted to tell a beautiful story and went above and beyond given the means available to them. It allowed me to unleash my inner unhinged fangirl that I thought I had long left behind. I just. have. a lot of. feelings.

But also to the people who'd get to experience it for the first time: you are in for a ride. I wish I could do this all over again, but I also don't because an experience like this should be once in a lifetime imo. I really hope y'all obsess over it as much as I do. I hope you cherish this because it's a show well worth cherishing for an eternity.

Love, OG Subeom

#Lovely Runner #Byeon Woo Seok #Kim Hye Yoon #Sun Jae #Im Sol #Seon Jae #선재 업고 튀어 #kdrama #kdrama recommendations #east asian drama #I'm so emotional actually it's quite ridiculous #like my baby is all grown up #and it's a new chapter in their life #netflix #wondering how the conversation went on their end #for two months lol

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endlessly-ranting-antheia · 3 months ago

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Just putting it out there with heartstopper back again, if you guys want to watch more shows about queer people falling in love and you don’t mind subtitles Skam and all of its remakes are always a solid choice, but also Thailand is pumping out quality ql content like nobody’s business. Japan, Korea, and Taiwan also have quite a few quality ql shows too. If you want to keep it to Netflix “I Cannot Reach You” is good and all the episodes are out already. For a sapphic show on Netflix “Reverse 4 You” is good too and it’s currently airing there every Tuesday. There are also a lot of quality creative ql shows that are completely free to watch on YouTube too so you know… just something to consider

#I’m always ready to recommend good ones but you can really just post in one of the tags and people are always ready to give theirs too #heartstopper #thai ql #thai bl #thai gl #skam #i cannot reach you #reverse 4 you

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strstab · 2 years ago

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𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬 - 𝐣.𝐦

summary ; kie’s fever got to you so jj helps you feel better

pairing ; jjaprilbank x fem!reader

notes ; sick readerrr, bath w jj, besitosssss, body lovin, cuddling, our beloved sock, & tinkerbell 🧚

a/n ; so this was actually meant to be out earlier this morning but then got caught up in a family function.. so sorry abt that. ALSO. i was going to post something tuesday but instead of posting it i accidentally deleted it… so shopping w the girls probably won’t happen 😭

after a sleep over at kie’s last weekend, you’ve felt yourself feeling more like shit by the day. on wednesday you were coughing up a storm and now you couldn’t feel your throat or stop sneezing.

you called off of work right after another restless night. jj was at john b’s and kie was the reason you were sick so you couldn’t hang out with her. you were on your third tinkerbell movie with a pile of tissues next to you.

you tried sleeping the sickness away during the day but even with the large amount drowsiness that was killing you slowly, you kept waking up with the same sore throat that wouldn’t seem to disappear. it had been like that since you were feeling symptoms so now you’ve been sleeping like 4 hours a night. or day.

you blew your nose into the tissue and then threw it into the pile. you felt soft fur rub against your neck which meant your cat had joined you in bed.

“sock, please help me. don’t you have powers to make your dear old mom feel better?” you whined just for your cat to give you a blank stare. you huffed and sat up, stretching your arms. you hadn’t gone up to do anything since the second movie started.

you dragged your feet all the way to the kitchen, grabbing a banana off the counter and peeling it open. you took a big bite as you searched the fridge for something else to munch on. there wasn’t much in it. the last person who did groceries was jj. the only things he usually brought home were beer, hot pockets, cookies, an 8th of weed (which he definitely picked it up from his dealer on aisle 10), and cat food. all of which only lasted a week in your house.

you found a cup of strawberry yogurt and decided to diy your brunch. you grabbed a bowl and poured the yogurt into it, then cutting up the banana you got from the counter and placing the bits into the bowl. ‘what a chef i am’ you thought.

you ate your ‘meal’ over the counter while scrolling through instagram. you were watching an interview from a netflix show when you felt strong arms wrap themselves around your waist, pulling you into their hold. you squealed and looked above to see blonde hair making it’s way to your neck.

wet kisses were placed all over your soft spot. “baby, i’m sickk” you whined pulling away from him.

“i know. and?” he pulled you back, this time holding you tighter.

“i don’t wanna get you sick,” you sniffle and he shrugs. guess getting sick wasn’t a big deal for him. but to be honest, he’s always had a strong immune system.

you were conversing about each other’s day, yours sounding quite boring. he was ranting about how john b wouldn’t let him redecorate the cats ass and how pope smacked the shit out of him while waxing his board.

your responses were short. your throat hurt too much to be talking a lot, so did your stomach to be honest. everything ached. you hopped up from your seat on top of the counter and went to get a bottle of pills. jj watched as you took two pills in your hand and swallowed them with a small cup of water. “what hurts mama?”

“more like what doesn’t hurt.” you sarcastically answered. he stared at you for a minute before smiling and picking you up bridal style. “jj what the hell?!”

your feet were kicking air and your arms wrapped themselves around jj’s shoulders, holding on for dear life. his hand was supporting your back as he made his way to your bedroom.

he placed a kiss on your lips and sat you on the edge of the bed. “did you get any sleep last night?” he asked rubbing the eye bags that were forming below.

you shook your head as he peeped the pile of tissues that sat next to your laptop. “stay right here i’ll be back okay?”

“i mean.. where else would i go” you grumbled as he ran off to the bathroom.

you sat there on your phone, continuously sniffling while he did his thing in the bathroom. quickly after, he ran back out to you and picked you up swiftly, dropping your phone on your bed.

you laughed out loud (lol😜😜😜) as he brought you to the sink in your candle lit bathroom. he stripped you of your clothes, eyes taking in your body that was perfect in every way.

you felt your face heat up when you noticed him, arms quickly trying to cover yourself. “stop staring.”

he chuckled and kissed your lips softly. “just appreciating what’s mine, princess,” he murmured.

you let out a sound of annoyance. “c’mon baby, you know you’re prefect.” he picked you up and placed you in the tub. your muscles immediately relaxed as the heated water touched your skin.

“too hot? cold?”

“‘s perfect, j.” you smiled at his thoughtfulness. he really didn’t have to do this, but it made you happy knowing he cared enough to do so.

everything about the room right now was just calming.

you inhaled the steam and aroma from the cookie scented candle that followed it. as jj massaged your back with soap you let out a hum of pleasure. he peppered kisses on your shoulder and upper back while you relaxed in the water. “mmm, i could fall asleep right now,”

“yeah? seeing how tired you’ve been it seems like you could fall asleep anywhere.”

after your bath you guys cuddled up in bed. his request obv. you protested because you didn’t wanna get him sick but he still didn’t care. he went on a rant while drying you up about how all he wanted to do was be close to you.

so now, you laid head on his chest as his fingers were tangled in your hair. there was still a pinch of guilt in you for having him this close knowing you could get him sick but you couldn’t deny the fact that this felt amazing.

tinkerbell played on the tv instead of the laptop but you weren’t even watching either way. your eyes were half lidded as sleep tried taking you over. you tried fighting it, wanting to appreciate the time you were spending with your boyfriend, but it was winning by a lot.

even though all you were doing was watching a movie in comforting silence, it still meant something to you. so, you wanted to be up for it.

he moved his hand to the side of your thigh and rubbed his thumb against it. “you’re falling asleep on me, love.”

there was no response from you but your eyes were still half open. he patted your side and you perked up. “sorry, what’d you say?”

you felt jj’s chest abruptly shake as he giggled above so you got up fully to look at him. “what’s funny?”

“nothing. just how cute you look half asleep.” he smiled and pushed your head back down to his chest. “jus get rest babe. you need it.”

you buried your face in his hoodie and dozed off while his thumb caressed you softly. maybe all you need was your boyfriend with you to get the rest of a lifetime.

yeah yeahhhh ooohhhhaahahshiegsksba

hey yall. hope u enjoyed thatttt. so if you read my a/n you’d know this was meant to be up earlier this day. (april 1st) but i got caught up in a family reunion kinda thing so yeah..

also i had shopping with the girls (cleo, kie and sarah) in my drafts but i accidentally deleted it bc my fingers tend to touch before reading what it’s going to touch… so yeah that’s gone. -(edit) i tried editing my notes and ALMOST deleted this post too…

y’all know my requests are always open so feel free to request!! or just talk to meee. entertain me guys i’ve been bored

but anyways… i’m cuddling with my cat so i’ll catch you guys laterrrr.

#jj maybank fluff #fluff #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank #kissing #obx jj #jj maybank x reader #i love him #strstab

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writing-whump · 4 months ago

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Sensory overload

☕️-anon wished to see how Hector and Arnie were doing in the meantime, so here we go. A bit of Arnie and Hector plus Olive and some emeto.

Arnie found Hector glaring at his phone on the couch at 7 pm.

"I don't think you can make it bend to your will that way," Arnie said as he rubbed at his eyes.

Since Sunday he had trouble sleeping for some reason, waking up at 5 or 6 am although he was never a morning person. He would turn in bed for two hours, trying to get himself back to sleep, but to no avail. It left him tired and grumpy, cause he wanted to sleep but couldn't.

To compensate, he took frequent naps during the day, like the one he just woke up from. Probably worsening the problem by not being tired enough to sleep through the next morning again.

Hector grumbled something, leaning back with his coffee only for his eyes to return to the phone screen 10 seconds later.

"Who's not answering?"

Hector scoffed, like the name wasn't worth saying out loud. Arnie kept quiet and watched him until his older brother finally caved. "Isaiah."

"Oh? It's so rare for you to message him." Arnie sat down behind the table, still disoriented from sleep.

"Yeah. And just when I do he ignores me. Isn't it weird?"

"I told you he planned some special anniversary thing with Seline on Saturday. That's why we weren't meeting. And then she likely stayed over so he had his hands full over the weekend."

"It's Tuesday," Hector protested.

"It's summer break," Arnie reminded. "More busy with free time with his pack and stuff."

"That's why I..." Hector turned his head away to scowl at the twilight behind the window.

"What was that?" Arnie gave up on the table and went to sit down next to Hector instead, grabbing his untouched coffee from his hand. "Look, you have been super busy during the holidays. You work 25 hours from 24 each day or train or claim some new territories you don't need. Isaiah can't be waiting around for you to make time for him."

Arnie didn't mean himself at all when he said it. He felt more than a little neglected by Hector's constant 'work' excuses. It was his last holiday before starting university and Hector was nowhere to be found.

Hector growled at the cup being taken out of his hand but said nothing. "That's why I wanted...never mind."

Arnie took a sip and grimaced at the taste. No sugar. "Wanted what?"

Hector bared his teeth at no one in particular. "I thought we could plan a trip, okay?! Just the three of us. I'm fed up with the city, so I thought we could do mountain climbing or some shit in nature. And when I suggest it, he doesn't respond. Asshole."

Arnie sighed. "That's really nice, Hex. I'm sure he will like it once he sees it." The younger blond leaned back on the couch. "You know how Isaiah is with the phone detox thing. He likes to take breaks from screens and being available."

"It's the girl," Hector spit out angrily. "Just when we get him back he has to have a girlfriend and a new pack to piss me off."

Arnie rolled his eyes. "We are not losing him to Seline, come on."

"Women always destroy families. Especially brothers. And wolves."

"I'm sorry, how many experiences do you have with that?" Arnie said with a snort.

"Oh, not you too!" Hector crossed his arms on his chest, sliding farther away from him on the couch.

Arnie chuckled. Delaney and Hector's other closest wolves have been bringing it up from time to time now. That Hector should be looking for a partner soon, ideally a witch to cement his position as branch leader.

Everyone knew wolves couldn't rule alone. Stability came from relationships, from functioning compatibility. A leader should have a witch to lead with, to offer to the pack, to bring them all together.

Hector, who had zero interest in dating since Arnie could remember, saw this part as particularly annoying.

"So. You gonna be in this splendid mood for the rest of the evening or we putting on something on Netflix?" Arnie yawned, putting the coffee away.

Hector got up, pacing the living room. "Can't sit still. I'll go for a run."

"You gonna leave me here alone?" Arnie pouted. Free evening and Hector was gonna spend it away again?

"You can join me," Hector said with a knowing smirk.

Arnie groaned. Hector knew he was not very keen on exercise. Being around a superhuman you could never hope to keep up and who would never let you win even knowing this was rather demotivating.

"I thought so. Enjoy wasting your life on useless Netflix shit, I'm leaving."

Arnie huffed and slid down on the sofa into a more comfortable position. Agitated Hector needed the exercise to keep his shadow calm. It was for the best.

...........

If you looked for a piece of quite in a crowded city such as Vienna, school grounds were the safest bet during summer.

It was tiring for wolves to be this surrounded by humans, noise and scenes all the time. Hector felt like the proximity of the buildings got only smaller, squeezing the air out of him.

He needed open space. Nature. Something green with a free view of the sky and the horizon.

Hector ended up back at the university campus at the bench near the ditch he found Matthew passed out not that long ago.

Of course he wanted the campus for himself now. He spend so much of his time there because of the uni that it felt like a base to him.

It was surprisingly lively on the way to the Messe, lights and people coming and going like fireflies drawn to light of the giant exhibition building. None went through the dark space around the bench though, for which Hector was grateful.

Not until his name suddenly echoed through the whole park.

Olive pushed her way through the crowd, which was quite an achievement since she was so small. "Hector! I didn't expect to see you here!"

Hector shrugged. "Just passing by." It always fascinated him how happy Olive seemed whenever she saw him. Her whole face lit up, her smoky gray eyes so big like a doe's.

"Oh." She stopped at the bunch, a cute little pout to her mouth. "So you are not coming to the expo?" When he looked perplexed, she continued, "Illusion and light play exhibition! It's just here for a few weeks."

Ah. That explained the liveliness.

Olive shuffled her feet. She wore a white button-up that hugged her slightly chubby figure, an orange-red necktie, short black hair hidden under a red beanie, and bright red shoes. Hector internally shook his head. Artists had the weirdest tastes.

"Would you...like to come too? I have been there several times, I know the best parts!"

She got excited so easily about the smallest things. If an exhibition or a nice sunset or a collection of crayons could make him so happy...then again, why not? He was not managing to stop thinking about Isaiah's unread messages and he could use a break from thoughts about his duties and goals before they started turning in circles too much.

"Whatever." He got up to his feet, which made Olive almost bounce on her feet.

"You are going to love it!" She actually grabbed his arm, dragging him forward.

Hector blinked at the contact. He wasn't sure how he felt about her being so comfortable touching him. On some level, he suspected she didn't realize he was a wolf or who he was in that world, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her. It was amusing how relaxed she was, how she treated him with such friendliness. Was that normal with girls around guys?

Besides, it made him feel all smug he managed to throw people off his scent as a wolf. Managing this degree of control to not be recognized by the energy and danger wolves emitted or the thickness and reactiveness of their shadows was a point of pride for civilized wolves.

As they got inside and he automatically paid the ridiculously small tickets for them both, he wondered if there wasn't something else. Hector liked who he was. He was proud of who he was, and he never pretended to be anything else.

He was the Executioner's younger brother. He was Vincent Wolfson's son. He was the pack leader's nephew and chosen branch leader in a city as big as Vienna, in the heart of Western and Eastern Europe. Destined to achieve something big, to take over one day. That was his aim—he wasn't secretive about it.

But with Olive he was...just a guy. A stuck-up economy student who could be too blunt at times, but that she, for some reason, found amusing.

The exhibition's theme was the universe. There were seperate rooms projecting different light plays, from infinite space to exploding suns, kinetic installations, Milky ways changing colours, labyrinths of mirrors and light sculuptures.

Olive kept dragging him around, showing him her favorite pieces and projections, flooding him with background information and cool facts he didn't have the vocabulary to understand.

His eyes were beginning to hurt. The constant onslaught of lights that were actually everything but regular, the flashing patterns and ever-changing chaotic rooms...there were no points of reference. And worse, there were so many people—smashed together in an even tighter space, like a city, but smaller.

Hector felt a dull, throbbing headache building behind his temples. It reminded him of the subway, but worse. The lights were too much, the noise was too much. The rooms were spinning and turning, blending together and then spitting him out in confusing directions.

His stomach felt unsettled, waves of queasiness coming and going. Sweat was forming on his upper lip and at the back of his neck.

"O-Olive..." he blinked and screwed his eyes shut, stopping where he was, reaching with his hand in search of something solid. A wall or a door, something that wasn't moving.

"Hector? Hey, wait, what's wrong?"

"G-..." he gulped, his stomach feeling impossibly heavy. Heat went to his face and chest, intensifying the nausea. He gagged, slapping his hand against his mouth. "Get me out-"

He couldn't see in the confusion, the hall was too dark to contrast the effect of the rooms.

"Okay, just a second." A small hand closed around his. Hector squeezed it, maybe too tightly in his disorientation, mouth overflowing with saliva. Damn, he needed to sit down. The claustrophobic feeling was back and he gagged again, splash of acid against his throat.

Her small hand and trace of scent led the way and he let her, the only familiar focus point in the chaos of people and lights hurting his eyes. He crashed against the door on the way and cursed, but the pain of something solid against his side was a relief.

"Just a couple of steps," Olive said, tugging at his arm. "Almost there, I promise."

Hector unglued himself from the door with great difficulty, one more door coming up, when finally, finally he was hit with a wall of fresh air.

He gulped down on the semi-clean night wind greedily, panting to breathe against the nauseating sensation. Almost winning the round, if his stomach didn't cramp that moment and he groaned.

"Okay, okay, let's sit you down, okay?" Both of Olive's hands were wrapped around his arm, using all her weight and strength to steer him to the side of the entrance.

He couldn't tell where the bench was or where they were going. The ground was tilting again, all wrong and his knees buckled, sending him to the ground. Olive didn't let go, going down with him.

"I guess not. Okay, let's stay here, it's fine-"

Hector gagged, the world going deaf for a second and then retched as his dinner came out with a splash against the yellowed grass. At least it wasn't the pavement, that would have splattered more.

Olive was still under his arm, pressed into his side. Her hand snaked around his shoulders, tapping gently. "Feel better?" Her eyes were so wide again, glittering with concern.

"Sorry," he rasped. His body heaved with another retch but he fought it down. "Don't know what-"

"The lights. I'm sorry, I didn't know. The movement and lights can be overwhelming for more sensitive people-"

Hector scoffed, rocking up and down in attempt to catch his bearings. Why was he always throwing up around this girl? "I'm not sensitive."

"I didn't mean it like that," she said sharply, indignant now. "I mean, prone to motion sickness or with senses like shadow wolves. You can't say they are sensitive, can you? But there is even a warning at the entrance that it isn't good for them, cause there is a higher risk of sensory overload."

"Ah. That makes sense, then." He let himself fall back to sit on the ground properly, spreading his hands out. The world was still spinning, but it was slowing down a little.

Olive let go of him, kneeling at his side. "Huh?"

"I'm a shadow wolf too, Olive." Hector focused his eyes on her, wary of her reaction. "You really had no idea."

Her mouth made a little o, looking even more winded than he was. "Oh wow."

Hector cleared his throat. "So what? Scared of me now?" He shifted away. Normally, he enjoyed people being wary of him, of respecting his power, but the idea of Olive being scared of him wasn't appealing at all.

Maybe that was also one of the reasons he was in no hurry to correct her.

A flush crept up her face. "No, I'm not! I'm..."

"I wasn't hiding it, you know?"

"Right. The turf talk, and the people always behind your back. And how sick you felt at the subway...I just didn't...I never spoke to a wolf before. What does that- what does that mean now?" She covered her mouth with both hands. "Does that mean I was breaking all the rules of interaction? I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

Hector chuckled dryly, which turned into a cough and into another small gag. "Damn it."

Olive lifted herself up on her knees, gripping his shoulder. "You still feeling icky?"

Icky? What kind of word was that? He felt comforted by her unconscious touch though. On some level, he still didn't feel like a wolf to her. "Nah, almost good." He closed his eyes for a second, breathing through the sudden heat wave, letting out a loud burp against his hand before letting it fall to his side again.

"What does that mean for me?" Olive asked in a small voice. "You are not going to kidnap me or eat me or something, right?"

Hector had to laugh again. "No. That's not in our rules either." He looked at her hand on his biceps, realizing for the umpteenth time he didn't mind her touch as much as he should have. Not at all. Somehow she had touched herself into his shadow's graces and sense of space. "You don't have to follow any rules. Not with me. I'm too high up to mind," he reassured her.

She ducked her head, and when he tried to straighten up to catch her eye, he lost his balance and flopped right onto his back.

"Oh, so high up," she said with an involuntary giggle, leaning over him. "You okay?" Her hand climbed higher on his arm all the way to the top of his shoulder. "You are so sweaty."

"And dizzy," he admitted with a grimace. His arm shot up to grab onto her hand that was touching him. "A little warning, Olive. Wolves tend to think anything they are touching is theirs. You keep doing that," his eyes rose slowly over her arm to her body, "and I might forget how to let go."

Olive blushed even more, her round cheeks furiously red. Oh, he could get used to that expression.

Part 2

#sickfic #emeto #whump #hurt/comfort #sensory overload #Hector #my writing #werewolf wip #☕️anon

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wildlife4life · 10 months ago

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Tease Tidbit Tuesday

Tagged by @lemonzestywrites @malewifediaz @watchyourbuck @lover-of-mine @cal-daisies-and-briars @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @spotsandsocks @rogerzsteven @exhuastedpigeon @gayedmundodiaz @daffi-990 @giddyupbuck @tizniz @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @diazsdimples @wikiangela @aroeddiediaz and @disasterbuckdiaz.

So I know I'm getting to this kind of late today, but it is still Tuesday here! Here is a tiny tidbit of NFL Buck. (Everything NFL Buck)

Eddie does his best not eaves drop on any personal conversations in the firehouse, but when said information is just loudly stated to the person next to him, well it can't be ignored. "Chim any chance you can cover the afternoon part of Johnson's Friday shift? Hen can only cover the morning." Bobby asks the seasoned paramedic lounging on the couch end opposite of Eddie. Peeking over his book on notorious serial killers (Buck's latest binge, thanks to Netflix), Eddie watches Chimney's face furrow with concern, "Karen still fast tracking that project. Man. I'm proud of her and all, but she's going to burn out fast if she keeps these long lab hours up." Bobby hums in agreement and Eddie now understands why he has yet to meet Hen's wife. Though he has no right to even be marginally upset considering he's hiding a whole ass professional athlete boyfriend behind his nickname. "I don't mind covering, can always use the extra cash. Everything okay with Johnson?" Chimney asks. Cap grimaces, "Not exactly." Chimney looks slightly confused and Eddie can see the wheels turning in his head, trying to figure out why Johnson needed a shift covered. Short moment later, his face matches Bobby's, "Ah shit. Regina's moving forward with the divorce huh?" Eddie winces and can't help the surge of guilt because he's gone through divorce himself, but based on what he's hearing, Eddie relates more to Johnson's soon to be ex-wife.

The intro in the Shannon divorce arc... Hope you all enjoyed!

Still going to try some late tagging: @glorious-spoon @devirnis @bekkachaos @theotherbuckley @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @jeeyuns @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiescowboy @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @athenagranted @evanbegins @malewifediaz @911onabc @911-on-abc @ladydorian05 @bigfootsmom @thekristen999 @spagheddiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @buck-coded @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1

#tease tidbit tuesday #tag game #my wip #911 abc #911 on abc #911 show #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #chimney han #bobby nash #nfl #quarterback buck #firefighter eddie #secret relationship #divorce #buck and his binges

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eatmyassssssssz · 2 years ago

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Toxic!ghost who makes reader block guys, chooses what she wears, SUPER possessive, brainwashes her into thinking no one but him will ever love her and she is fucking obsessed with it 🥲

It was a Tuesday, that means its phone check day. "phone." he puts out his hand. you get out your phone and give him it. "good girl." he ruffles her hair.

he goes into a seperate room as he checks through your phone, before storming back into the bedroom where you were watching some netflix. "who the fuck is jeremy?" he spits. "jeremy? he's from work, si. we're working on a project together. we were assigned together, i didn't choose it, si." you mumble. "right, well, i don't trust you, so he's now blocked."

you look up at him. "but i need his number for work!" you say, eyes tearing up. he always does this. "you can speak to him at work!" he replies hastily.

you sigh and nod. "yes, si."

"cmon, you've spoke to me about him being weird with other colleagues..i don't want that happening to you, dolly." he says, putting the phone back out onto your bedside table. you nod. "i understand, im sorry for being moody about it."

"its okay, sweets. now, we're running out of food, so we need to go shopping." he says, grabbing two sets of clothes. one set for himself and one set for you. "si..i dont wanna wear thattttt...its too hot for a jumper.."

"you think i care? people only love girls like you for your tits. luckily, i am not people. i want you all safe." he didn't really want you safe, he wanted you to himself. he wanted you to know that you only deserved him.

"no man but me will ever love you for your body. understood?"

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manic-intent · 9 months ago

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Hi there! About five years ago, you provided reading recommendations for me in the “weird western” genre. It took me on a journey that exposed me to many incredible, diverse authors and reignited my love of reading. Would you be willing to share some more book recommendations? Doesn’t have to be weird western - I like your taste and am always happy to expand my horizons.

Thank you so much for your time and I hope you’re doing well!

Hello!

I haven't been reading that many English novels lately... I fell into the hole of reading Chinese danmei novels and with all its popcorn bloody drama it's been hard to turn back. If you're willing to try danmei, I rec:

Qiang Jin Jiu (officially licensed, or you can look up the English fan translation). Probably my fave danmei of all time and my fave book of the year from a couple of years back. Incredible read. Alt history novel.

Scum Villain's Self Saving System (same as above)

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (same as above). Has been adapted into an animation and a tv show that is on Netflix (The Untamed).

Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know (x)

The Demon Venerable's Wistful Desire (x)

Peerless (x)

Books by priest (Guardian, Mo Du, etc). For priest if you're unfamiliar with her work I rec starting with the tv adaptation of Tian Ya Ke (Word of Honour) that is on Netflix

For English/English Translated novels, I've always loved:

Jin Yong (The Legend of the Condor Heroes is deservedly one of the most-read books in the world. I grew up with this, as did many people across the Chinese diaspora. On the official translation it's billed as the "Chinese Lord of the Rings", but it's nothing like Lord of the Rings--it's wuxia. Hell, it's probably more read than Lord of the Rings by sheer reader volume. tbh the official English translation annoys me because of the random name translations, so I rec the fan translation here)

NK Jemisin (Fifth Season series etc, incredible books, fantasy)

Liu Cixin (Three Body Problem etc: now adapted into several tv shows, including one on Netflix. I haven't watched any of them yet but you can try those first if you don't want to commit to the books)

Claire G Coleman (Terra Nullius, The Old Lie)

Saad Z Hossain (The Gurkha and the Lord of Tuesday etc)

Nnedi Okorafor (Akata Witch etc)

Yoon Ha Lee (Ninefox Gambit etc)

Nahoko Uehashi (Moribito, Beast Player etc)

SA Chakraborty (City of Brass etc)

Stephen Graham Jones (The Only Good Indians etc)

... and more :) Hope that helps as a starting point!

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 11 months ago

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Meghan was leaking about the Queen being on her deathbed and her death before it was announced & before the whole family knew and I think it got back to the family who was leaking to the press about her condition and was the reason why Charles basically said Meghan can fuck off…

Yep, I agree. I feel pretty confident that she was the one talking to Scobie that day (which he writes about in Endgame) just by him describing the source as an "insider" and "someone whose word I had come to trust."

There were rumors at the time that Meghan had been talking to American journalists, and they were later confirmed when Gayle King said a couple of things about the Sussex/Charles rift a few days later.

I don't know that she was speaking of the Queen's condition before she passed. I have to trust everyone else's judgement on that.

So confession time: I was at a family wedding that weekend. As my luck had it, I was gone Thursday 9/8 to Tuesday 9/13 (the plane had just landed and we were rolling up to the gate when I saw the "Her Majesty has been advised to rest" announcement) and I unfortunately have a "the family must do ALL the things together ALL the time EVERY time" grandmother so there was no sneaking away to watch the BBC app on my phone. I saw nothing live or in real time that weekend, only to come home to find out that my cable company dropped BBC World News from my package (gotta love that capitalism) so the DVR recordings I set via the app didn't even take and I had to upgrade to the premium package. Ooh, that reminds me. I DVR'd the BBC's coverage of the funeral and I wonder if I still have the recording, since the royal family made the BBC take it down last year.

Anyway, back to the point. I do agree with you that the family absolutely knew Meghan was leaking about the Queen's passing because of Sophie. Oh, man, Sophie was so, so pissed that day at the Lying-in-State when she and Meghan were in the car together and she also iced Meghan out at the funeral too.

Kate too -- Kate knew something at the Windsor walkabout because it was all over her face and in her body language. At the time, the story/rumor was that the Waleses found out the Sussexes were planning their own walkabout in Windsor with Netflix/CNN and/or that the Sussexes had kept them waiting at least an hour, but I always felt there was more to Kate's anger than that.

#ask #brf #sussexes

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 7 months ago

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I mean to be fair the writers in the latter half of the show were fully aware of all this fanon madness and threw them some bones. Katara and Zuko were trolled 2 times at being together, Toph hinted at katara having a secret thing with haru (whatever that means) amd she herself seemee very needy and jealous being the only one without a zuko field trip,suki and sokka did it.

When people watch the show without any social media or fanon influence after netflix aired atla all the canon pairings make total sense but when i think bryke indeed did some fanservice (the way zuko jumped in slowmo into the lightning) so the writers definitely knew what they were doing.

I really liked kataang in the first 2.5 seasons but the fact that tsr and eip are both 2 episodes in a row and we never see katara apologizing to either sokka or aang even had me like wtf (tsr is a good episode but still.) Then aang disappears on the lion turtle and katara is pretty chill compared to all the times before. It would be prob better to have a book 4 where they grew apart for a few years and saw how important they were to each other to give them the proper development but it is what it is.

While I'm all for a book 4, splitting the Gaang up would be a HUGE mistake. "This could ruin the whole show" kind of mistake. They all are at their best and grow the most when they are TOGETHER. Hell, that's the whole point of the life-changing field trips with Zuko. Let's not "fix" what isn't broken.

I wouldn't really say that Katara was "chill" after Aang disappeared. They were on the edge of the biggest battle of their lives so they had a LOT to focus on, and even Sokka just immediately thinks "He's probably in the spirit world doing Avatar stuff that will help save the day." Mysterious bullshit making Aang be away for a little while, be it physically or just spiritually/mentally, is a Tuesday for them at this point. They spent an entire episode waiting for Roku to be done telling his backstory with Sozin to him. Katara not losing her mind with concern because of something that happens regularly is not the same them growing apart.

And while an apology to Katara for the Ember Island thing or her apologizing to Aang and SPECIALLY Sokka after how she acted on Southern Raiders would be great, Avatar has a tendency of just skipping apologies that are kind of taken as a given - see Aang not apologizing to Toph after how he acted when Appa was kidnaped, or her and Katara not apologizing to each other after the events of The Chase. They tend to focus on apologies for bad behavior that lasted a whole arc (see Zuko apologizing to the Gaang and to Iroh).

And about the writers throwing shippers a bone with stuff like Katara and Zuko being mistaken for a couple - yeah, I can see how fan would like that. I also remember the characters getting visibly uncomfortable with it and that the show basically mocked the very concept of the ship through the Ember Island Players.

More importantly: fanservice is not foreshadowing, set up and/or development. For exemple: I LOVE Tokka as a ship, and I find Toph's crush on Sokka really cute. But it was always VERY CLEAR that it was one-sided and that the writers decided to make him end up with Suki. The fanservice made me happy, but it was not meant to be taken seriously, so I didn't.

Meanwhile Zutarians use five minutes of bait to argue that there was a whole conspiracy in which their OTP was meant to be endgame but evil Bryke ruined it at the last second. They've argued that Ember Island!Katara saying she likes Zuko and thinks of Aang as her little brother was a reflection of the REAL Katara's feelings, even though she explicitly said it was not the case and the show itself made it obvious that it is simply an INNACCURATE fanon take on the show.

No one would have an issue with Zutara shippers enjoying the little treats the writers gave them if they weren't so hellbent on claiming that those little moments somehow invalidate three seasons of Kataang, and one season (plus a few book 2 episodes) of Maiko. Not to mention the constant "If you dislike the ship/say it's not canon, then you're sexist/racist and I get to harass you."

You can't be "fair" to people that are asking to be allowed to be unfair to everyone else. They need to grow the fuck up first and realize that, if they want to be left alone, they shouldn't go around picking up petty fights with people then complaining when they get punched.

#anti zutara #pro kataang

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alpaca-clouds · 7 days ago

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Something my mind is currently gnawing at is this concept of: "What do characters do once their story is over." This mainly comes from writing fanfics - because I write a lot of post-canon stuff. Though it really got bad with writing more in the Forgotten Realms and interacting more with that world.

Because here is the thing: My main fandoms before that (Digimon and the Netflix Castlevania) had an endstate of sorts. Like, sure, from time to time the characters might have to deal with another thing, but most of the stuff would be fairly easily contained. (He said, after having written a 150k sequel for Castlevania, and a total of 500k for Digimon Tamers, but we do not talk about that...)

But the thing about the Forgotten Realms: This is a world that mainly exists so that player characters can have their adventures and safe the world. Ergo: This world is on the brink of being destroyed by powers from beyond the world every other Tuesday. And how the fuck is anyone ever going to have a happy end here.

Great, you saved the city. Also, someone tried to kill Mystra again. Oh wow, you saved her. Great, well, someone found an item that might destroy the world. Ah, you found a way to put that in another plane. Well, there is this evil god who came back from the dead.

How the fuck is anyone ever going to have a happy end in this world unless they die?

Like, I know among DnD players this is also kinda a thing. Very few characters ever get to properly retire. But yeah, the main issue is, that if you play characters in this world, they tend to end up fairly powerful at some point. Meaning, that just from the sense of the people in that world it would make a lot of sense to throw these characters at whatever evil god is trying to destroy the world or enslave a city this week. And if the characters are of a good-alignment, chances are they would feel shitty if they said: "Yeah, actually, I was thinking... Shouldn't someone else get to save the fucking world for once?"

You know, when Avengers: Endgame came out, a lot of people were so pissed with the ending for Steve. Because it felt so out of character for Steve to go back in time and then watch all of the stuff happen after his "happy end". How would he be happy knowing the bad things that would happen? How would he be happy not actually trying to stop them?

And ironically the Marvel stuff or superhero stuff in general really also speaks to this. Because yeah, the superheroes kinda have the same issue. Their world is threatenened on at least a yearly basis. Stuff is always going to try and end the fucking world. And they are probably the only ones who can stop that.

So there never is a happy end. There is no "They lived happily ever after". There is just a constant: "Save the world, lick your wounds, and do it all over again until at some point you die." (And lets face it, in that case you get to be dead for a couple of years, before someone inevitably revives you, because by now I am fairly certain even Gwen Stacy is back among the living.)

#late night rambles #narratives #meta narratives #forgotten realms #dungeons & dragons #dnd #happy ending #marvel #dc comics #mcu #dcu #superheroes

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anamoon63 · 6 months ago

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Tag Game

I was tagged by @matchalovertrait @papermint airplane and @marcishaun. Thank you very much, guys! 🥰

Last song I listened to: Umbrella, by Rianna. They were playing the video at a restaurant I went with my family on Tuesday, very appropriate for these rainy days. Lol.

Favourite place: Home. Always. And probably the beach (hometown beach and Cancun's beach, that is).

Favourite book(s): War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karennina too, of course; almost everything by Fyodor Dostoevsky. And my first favorite book was The Hatter's Castle by A.J. Cronin. I read it when I was a teen (like a million years ago), I'd love to read it again someday.

Currently reading: No reading for now, except for the sim's stories by my amazing fellow sim storytellers.

Favourite TV show: Wow, this is a tough one, cause I don't watch TV anymore. but if we can take Netflix like watching TV, well, my favorite of all times: Grey's Anatomy (and anything by Shonda Rhimes, really). My current favorite is Yellowstone, but I've heard Kevin Costner could not be in the next season, if so, I don��t know if it’ll be worth watching. (Please, please, Kevin, don't leave us, honey, you're the soul of Yellowstone).

Sorry not sorry for the Kevin Costner's spam. 😉

Favorite food: All kinds of nuts (I must have been a squirrel in another life). I love chips too and french fries. And mexican food, of course, not all of it but a lot of it.

I'm tagging @rachel-homeanddesign-sims, @marianetbarbara, @satureja13, @camisulsul, @plaidisrad, @miss-may-i, @akitasimblr, @nocturnalazure, @changingplumbob and @expirisims.

#tag #tag game #thanks for the tag #TV shows #books #music #personal stuff #non sims

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pandenewie · 2 years ago

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GAMEBOY

SYNOPSIS:

Heeseung visits the same Gamestop every Tuesday and Thursday after his afternoon lecture. Not only because of the hidden gems he finds in the two for one sales bin, but also because of the insanely cute worker who just picked up that shift…

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!oc

GENRE: nonidol!au, college!au, slow burn, strangers to ???, fluff, angst (light)

WORD COUNT: 6.9k

AN: This is a special chapter for my Sunghoon smau “Diary of a Homewrecker” which you can read here :) You don’t need to read the smau to understand this fic. Can be read as x reader if you want, just change the name to y/n :)

Read part 2 here :))

Everyone who knows Lee Heeseung knows that he’s not the most… romantic of people. Not to say he doesn’t try - the amount of rom coms in his Netflix “Watch again” section could put your average 15 year old girl to shame. But despite the amount of “research” he’s done, all Heeseung’s relationships tend to end before they even begin. Maybe some people just aren’t cut out for romance. And some people just don’t know when to quit…

“I know you think I’m crazy but I promise you, we were flirting.” Heeseung repeats, for probably the 5th time since he got in the car. After years of friendship with the older boy, Jay knows it’s best to just hum and nod in agreement whenever Heeseung get’s like this. Heeseung is a handsome dude. So honestly, the chance of some random girl at their college campus flirting with him is quite large. But is it worth making this much of a fuss about it? Absolutely not.

This is how it always goes with Heeseung. He’ll show interest in someone, talk about them non-stop for a few days, go on a date or two if he’s lucky, before the whole thing ends within about a week. It’s a pattern the boys have become very familiar with - so much that there’s a shared schedule between the other 6 friends for who’s on “Heartbroken Heeseung Duty”.

Jay knows this won’t end any differently from the other times Heeseung has found “the one”. Hell, the whole world probably knows at this point. But with Heeseung being such a hopeless romantic and the glimmer of hope in his eyes as he recounts the story once again, Jay doesn’t have the heart to tell him.

It’s not creepy. At least that’s what Heeseung tries to tell himself, as he walks through the sliding doors of the all-too-familiar Gamestop. He’s certainly no stranger to this place - the cream coloured brick and vibrant “For Sale” signs giving a sense of familiarity. Hell, this place is like a second home at this point. So why does Heeseung feel so anxious today?

Well for starters, it’s Friday. Which marks this momentous occasion as his third Gamestop trip this week. Although many would argue that Heeseung has a gaming addiction, three trips in one week is definitely a first.

Despite Heeseung’s life being what many would call a mess, he has very few routines that he absolutely swears by. Visit Gamestop on Tuesday after his lecture, pick out the games he wants to buy, and hide them at the very bottom of the sales bin. Then, once he gets paid Wednesday night, he’ll come back on Thursday to buy the games. That’s the way it’s been since he started university and it’s something he never planned on changing. That was until he saw her.

Now Heeseung never really paid much attention to the workers at Gamestop. They were usually socially awkward teens just trying to make a few bucks and therefore never stood out to him. Until this week…

As soon as the familiar beep of the sliding doors rings through the air, Heeseung makes a b-line for the sales bin at the back of the store. The shop is as quiet as it normally is at 2pm on a Tuesday, leaving Heeseung to comfortably browse before having to pick Ni-ki up from school at 3.

Just as he is deciding between two games, he feels a presence come up behind him - making him internally groan at the thought of communication with another person. But a sudden cherry voice breaks through his sour mood, causing his ears to prick up at the melodic sound.

“Hi! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

Heeseung turns around to find himself face to face with one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. With big sparkling eyes and a grin that seems to light up the room - honest to god, if she weren’t standing right before his very eyes, he’d assume she wasn’t real. But as her head tilts in slight confusion - the bright smile not leaving her face, he releases that she is in fact real and he is in fact staring.

Clearing his throat nervously, Heeseung looks away from the girl - suddenly finding some co-op game on the shelf incredibly interesting. “J-just looking, thanks.” He manages to let out, mentally cursing himself for the stutter and waver in his voice.

The girl's smile seems to grow even more, if that’s even possible. Her eyes crinkle as she gently bows to Heeseung. “Ok, if you need anything don’t be afraid to ask. I’ll just be at the front desk.” She says before retreating to her former position.

Heeseung lets out the breath he didn’t realise he was holding as he watches her walk away. That had to be one of the most awkward interactions he’d had in a while. And yet, he’d do almost anything to experience it again. Because no amount of awkwardness could override the pure warmth he felt in the presence of the strange girl.

So here he stands on a Friday afternoon, mindlessly flicking through the games he has no intention of buying as his gaze focuses once again on the girl at the counter. Part of him is just happy to see her face. The way her eyes light up when a customer purchases a game she’s particularly interested in. The way she laughs and jokes around with her coworkers when the store’s a little quiet. But another part of him wishes it was him. That he’s the one she enthuses over games with. He’s the one making her laugh as if he’s just told the best joke of the decade. For now though, he’s more than happy just to watch.

It’s not creepy.

“It is kinda creepy hyung.” Ni-ki mumbles from his position on the couch. Although his focus appears to be on the game he is currently playing, he couldn’t help but listen intently as Heeseung retold the events of his Gamestop trip.

“Hey! I’m not creepy!” Heeseung exclaims in offence, causing his younger friend to roll his eyes. “I never said you were creepy, just that your actions are.” Ni-ki states matter-of-factly. “Because you’d be so much better.” Heeseung bites back, ripping the controller out of his friend’s hand when the flashing “You Died” comes across the screen. Ni-ki scowls at his hyung as he lays back into the couch. “At least I can talk to girls.” He mumbles, thankful that his friend doesn’t hear the words.

A few weeks pass until Heeseung see’s who his friends have affectionately dubbed “Gamestop Girl” again. Not once in those weeks did she leave his mind; a pang of disappointment hitting his chest each time he entered the store, only to find some pimply high schooler instead. But boy, were those weeks of disappointment worth it for the image in front of him.

Heeseung didn’t think that she could get any brighter - any more perfect. Her warm and cheerful smile was now matched with the golden glow of her skin, indicating a possible vacation (which would explain her weeks of absence). Her hair, slightly longer than before though not enough for the regular person to notice. Heeseung noticed. To put it simply, she was absolutely breathtaking.

“Sale bin guy!”

The sudden exclamation breaks Heeseung out of his thoughts as he looks around the room for the origin of the sound. As his eyes land back on the girl, he sees her already looking at him with her familiar smile. That’s when it dawns on him that he is in fact “Sale Bin Guy”.

“Uh.. what?” Heeseung stutters out as she makes her way towards him. “You always come for the sale bin, right? There’s some nice hidden gems in there - I was actually just on my way to restock it.” She rambles on, walking to the back of the store where the bin is located. Heeseung’s feet seem to move on their own as he follows her to the back of the store.

“So, are you looking for anything particular today?” She asks as she begins filling the sale bin with all sorts of games. “I was kinda hoping you’d have Halo - one of my friend’s has been begging me to play.” He says, taking note of each game as she puts them in the bin. “We have Halo, not on sale though. It’s super popular so it’s usually full price unfortunately.” She says, sending him a quick sympathetic smile. Heeseung immediately decides he doesn’t like this smile as much.

“That’s why I haven’t got it yet, it doesn't really fit my broke college student aesthetic.” He jokes, feeling a sense of pride when she giggles a little. “Maybe if you weren’t buying the sale games every week you could save up for Halo.” She says, causing Heeseung to laugh sheepishly. “I’ve got a feral teenager at home who goes through games like he’s getting paid so… I’ll stick to the sale bin for now.” Heeseung says. Although it isn’t a joke, the girl laughs anyway and that sense of pride shoots through Heeseung once again.

The pair continue to make small talk as Heeseung looks through the games and he only suddenly realises that she’s wearing a nametag. Whilst trying to be as subtle as possible, he glances down at the tag and smiles as he reads the name - Ari.

“Ari, huh?” Jay asks, not even remotely enthusiastic to be talking about his friend’s love life. This one has lasted much longer than the others, he’ll give him that. But it’s not like this has actually gone anyway either.

“Isn’t it just perfect?” Heeseung sighs, his lovestruck tone making Jay want to vomit. “And how many times have you spoken to her?” He asks, causing Heeseung to blush with embarrassment. “Well… technically twice. If you count the first one.” He mumbles, making Jay snicker. “And you’re already head over heels for her? That’s weird, even for you.” Jay says, making Heeseung roll his eyes.

“Didn’t you tell your ex that you loved them after like, 2 days?” Heeseung asks. Now it’s Jay’s turn to roll his eyes - his past relationship often being brought up in an attempt to prove a point. “At least I was dating them! What do you even know about this girl aside from where she works?” Jay asks, going back on topic.

Heeseung stays silent as the realisation hits that he, in fact, knows nothing about Ari. Well that certainly needs to change.

“Can you request some games?” Heeseung asks, practically interrupting Ari as she went to greet him. She looks at him a little in shock before breaking out into her all familiar smile. “Well nice to see you too, what sort of thing are you after?” She asks. “Anything? I just got a Nintendo Switch and all I have is Super Smash Bros and this one about a cup.” Heeseung says, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “Cuphead? Yeah that one can be kinda weird for new players.” Ari giggles slightly before taking Heeseung towards the switch games.

“Well, I’m certainly the girl you’re looking for; me and my switch are basically attached at the hip.” Ari jokes as she looks at the games they have lining the shelves. “You said you already have Smash Bros which would be one of my go-tos. Another would probably be Animal Crossing which you’ve no doubt heard of?” Ari asks, turning back to see Heeseung nod enthusiastically. “Yeah, so that’s super fun if you’re into more chill games. I personally find it very therapeutic but I can also spend all day playing it so you’ve gotta be careful.”

“Then there’s super well known games like Legends of Zelda, Sonic, and other Mario games. They’re the typical ones that you would get in a beginner switch pack. Zelda’s probably my favourite out of those ones but the others are good too.”

“There’s also a whole punch of Pokemon games. I’m probably not the best to recommend those since I know nothing about Pokemon aside from the fact that they’re cute. But I’ve heard they’re good so if you’re into that it’s worth a try.”

Heeseung honestly feels like he should be taking notes with the amount of information Ari is spitting at him. It’s very clear that she rambles when she gets excited, which Heeseung can’t help but smile at.

“So… see any you like?” Ari asks, beaming up at him as her rant comes to an end. “Uh… I’ll be honest I kinda blanked out. You’re just like… really cute.” Heeseung admits, mumbling the last part. If Ari heard it, she certainly acts like she didn’t as she playfully rolls her eyes at him. “How about you start with Animal Crossing and Zelda? Those are my favourites.” She suggests. “Plus, they’re on sale right now, so perfect for a broke college student.” She adds, a slight teasing tone in her voice. Heeseung just nods in agreement as he follows her up to the counter.

“I’m Heeseung by the way.” Heeseung suddenly says as she’s checking out his items. He’s not sure why he tells her his name - maybe it’s just an excuse to keep talking? “Nice to meet you Heeseung, I’m Ari but you probably already know that.” She says smiling. “Yeah… it’s a really beautiful name.” He says without thinking, causing her smile to widen as she thanks him.

“I’ll tell you what, Heeseung.” Ari says, grabbing a pen as his receipt starts to print out. Once printed, she flips over to the blank side and starts writing something down. “That’s my Nintendo ID and Discord. Animal Crossing can be multiplayer, so once you’ve established your island a little… I’d love to have a look.” She says.

“I can’t believe you’re ditching us to play Animal Crossing with some chick.” Jake grumbles as he pushes his way into Heeseung’s apartment. Sunghoon quickly follows suit, sending Heeseung a disapproving look before sitting on the couch. “I literally see you guys all the time and I don’t know when I’ll get to play with her again. Don’t act like you guys wouldn’t do the exact same thing.” Heeseung rolls his eyes. “Jake wouldn’t know, he’s never had a girlfriend.” Sunghoon teases, causing Jake to shove his shoulder. “Says the guy who can’t even talk to his crush!” A mini fight breaks out between the boys, causing Heeseung to rub his temples in frustration.

“What are you guys even doing here? I text the groupchat this morning that I couldn’t come.” Heeseung says. “They’re here for me. Not everything’s about you, hyung.” Niki pokes his tongue at the oldest friend, causing Heeseung to roll his eyes yet again. “You’re right. How silly of me to think people came to my house to see me.” Heeseung says sarcastically. “Feel free to leave him wherever you’re going. It’d be nice to have my couch back.” Heeseung continues, picking up the pillow Niki sleeps with and throwing it at his youngest friend.

Once the guys have left the house, Heeseung lets out a sigh of relief at the sudden silence. The short amount of chaos from his friends managed to distract him from how nervous he is. He quickly glances at the clock on the wall - 5:50. 10 minutes until Ari’s shift finishes. 10 minutes until he’ll be showing her his progress in Animal Crossing.

Realistically, there’s nothing to be nervous about. He won’t be able to see her face so he can’t get distracted by her beautiful features. Plus he has the game to focus on and hopefully stop him from saying anything stupid. Everything will be fine.

“Heeseung! Can you hear me?” Ari’s cheery voice blasts through his headphones, sending a spark of energy right to Heeseung’s heart. Ok, maybe everything won’t be fine. “I uh… yeah.” Heeseung manages, clearing his throat. “Ok cool. I’m just loading into your island. Where do you want to meet me?” She asks. “Um… I have a cherry blossom tree at the front of my island. I’ll wait there.” Heeseung says, smiling to himself as Ari goes on a mini rant about how cute the cherry blossoms are in the game.

As the two of them continue to explore Heeseung’s island, Ari seems to carry the conversation. She’s letting out praises for how well he’s done despite not playing that long, talking about her favourite parts of the island, and cracking jokes about certain villagers. Heeseung finds himself happily content with just listening to her, responding with hums of agreement and the occasional sentence when asked a question.

“Sorry, I know I talk a lot. You can tell me to shut up if I’m too annoying.” Ari jokes, causing Heeseung’s face to fall. Although she played it off as a joke, part of him thinks that she’s being serious. “Don’t apologize. I like listening to you talk. Especially since I suck at it.” Heeseung reassures. He hopes she knows he means it. The thought of someone like her thinking she’s annoying is just wrong.

“Ok. But I want you to talk too.” Ari says. “What should I talk about?” Heeseung asks, his nerves coming back now that he’s been put on the spot. “I just rambled about my childhood dog for 5 minutes cause a villager reminded me of him. You can talk about anything.” Ari assures.

So Heeseung rambles on about anything that comes to mind. University, work, his friends being stupid, even that one time he had to break into his own house because he accidentally threw his keys in the trash. The game became long forgotten as the two get caught up in learning more about each other.

Heeseung doesn’t even notice the time, until he hears the front door of his apartment open. Ni-ki soon walks into Heeseung’s room, eyes widening when he sees that he’s still talking to that girl.

“Oh? It’s my roommate.” Heeseung says into his mic, attempting to shoo Ni-ki out of his room. Dodging Heeseung’s waving arm, Ni-ki pulls the headphones off his head, yelling a quick hello into the mic before Heeseung fights him off. “Get out you rat.” Heeseung whisper-yells, adjusting the headphones so they’re back in their original position. The sound of Ari’s laughter quickly fills his eardrums, causing a dopey smile to spread across his face. “Simp.” Ni-ki scoffs before leaving to find something to eat.

“I’m guessing that’s the feral teenager?” Ari asks, causing Heeseung to sigh. “Yeah… he can be a lot. I guess I love him though.” Heeseung says, checking the time to see that it is in fact quite late. “I should probably go eat something. And make sure he doesn’t burn down my apartment.” Heeseung sighs, not wanting to stop talking but equally not wanting to starve. Or find himself homeless. “I should probably go too. I’ve got an early class tomorrow.” Ari agrees. “I had a lot of fun tonight. We should do this again.” She continues, causing Heeseung to agree a little too quickly. “Ok well, go feed your feral teenager. I’ll talk to you later Heeseung.” Ari says, disconnecting the call after Heeseung lets out a small “goodbye”

Playing together soon becomes a natural thing for Heeseung and Ari. It started with her visiting his Animal Crossing island without him knowing - leaving small presents for him to find later. That led to a game of hide and seek on each other’s islands, where they would call and time each other to see how quickly they could find each other’s presents. Now, fast forward a few weeks and the two have just started a minecraft server - which Ari affectionately named “Gamestop Besties”.

Besties. Heeseung hates that word. He’d call Jay and Ni-ki his besties. He’d call Sunghoon and Jake his besties. Heck, he’d even call his mum his bestie if she didn’t smack him for it. But the thought of him and Ari being besties honestly terrifies him. Because part of him thinks that’s all they’ll ever be. Besties.

“What the fuck?” Heeseung exclaims, his eyes furrowing in confusion as his character walks back to what once was his and Ari’s beautifully built Minecraft house. He says was because half the house is now missing, with a large hole in the wall. “Creeper.” Ari admits. “I forgot they existed.” She continues. “How do you forget about Creepers?” Heeseung laughs. “Well I didn’t have to deal with them until someone killed my cat.” Ari states.

A moment of silence falls between the two before Heeseung sighs. “I’ll get you a new cat.” He says, walking off to try and find a village. “I’ll start rebuilding the house… and make you a new bed.” Ari mumbles the last part, causing Heeseung to gasp. “You blew up my bed?!?”

It’s been almost a week since Ari and Heeseung last played Minecraft together. Now, for most people that’s not considered a long amount of time. But for people who have been playing together nearly everyday, it’s a big deal. She hasn’t been responding to messages either, which has Heeseung especially worried.

Heeseung gets woken from his sleep by a discord notification. For a second, he considers ignoring it and going back to sleep. That’s until he remembers that he only has notifications on for Ari’s messages.

Heeseung practically jumps out of bed, quickly shoving on the glasses he hates wearing before sitting down at his computer. His eyes take a bit of time to adjust to the bright light before he is able to read the messages:

Aristocat: Hey sorry for not replying. Just had some personal stuff going on ://

Heebeejeebee: u okay?

Aristocat: Uh?? I think?? Idk my boyfriend and I broke up lol

Aristocat: But I’m allgoods now

Heeseung’s eyes widen at the message. She had a boyfriend this whole time? Why didn’t she think to tell him? He can’t help but feel like an idiot for not knowing.

Heebeejeebee: Oh. I didn’t know you had a boyfriend?

Aristocat: Yeah haha I didn’t talk about him

Aristocat: Was gonna wait until we weren’t having problems

Aristocat: But it doesn’t matter now ig

Heebeejeebee: How are you feeling?

Aristocat: Sad lol

Aristocat: I can’t sleep

Aristocat: Can we play minecraft?

Heebeejeebee: Yeah just one sec

Ari fell asleep at her computer not long after loading into their shared world. Partially due to the fact that it was well past midnight. But Heeseung likes to think that it’s because the sound of his voice - spoken in soft whispers as to not wake up Ni-ki, was able to lull her to sleep. The quiet “thank you” she let out before drifting off to dream land certainly made it seem like it.

Nothing gets one's mind off falling in love with a friend quite like alcohol does. As Heeseung downs his sixth shot of night and asks Ni-ki to grab him yet another beer, his friends start to think that something’s up.

“I’m a pussy.” Heeseung groans, setting his empty shot glass down on the table. “No arguments there.” Sunghoon chimes in, earning him a few glares from their other friends. “What? He’s getting all mopey over something that hasn’t even happened. Sounds like bitchless behaviour to me.” Sunghoon argues, the pink flush to his cheeks showing he’s not far off from Heeseung’s drunkenness.

“Maybe you should have some water hyung.” Jungwon suggests, attempting to get Heeseung out of his chair. “You don’t think I’m bitchless, do you Wonie?” Heeseung asks, grabbing the younger boy’s hand and looking deeply into his eyes. Almost pleading with him. “Uh.. well you are single so… technically?” Jungwon grimaces at the sound of Heeseung’s head banging against the table, a loud whine escaping his lips. He soon goes on a rant about how much of a loser he is, Jungwon rubbing his back sympathetically as he looks to his older friends for help.

None of them knows what to do. Heeseung’s dramatic sometimes, sure. And he’s certainly known to get a bit over the top when he’s drinking, but he’s never been like this. Sure, they know he’s crushing on Gamestop Girl. But this is the first time he’s gotten so worked up over someone. It leaves them thinking that his feelings for Ari are a lot stronger than he’s letting on.

Fun fact, Heeseung is a sloppy drunk. This is evident in the way that he can barely stand up by himself, needing both Ni-ki and Ari to carry him out of Jay’s apartment. “My car’s just across the street.” Ari says, pointing at one of the few cars parked at this time of night.

When she first got the call from Heeseung that night, she was excited. But as he started to mumble incoherent words through the line, she quickly realised that he was drunk. The phone was soon taken over by his roommate Ni-ki - who quickly explained the situation. So here she is, driving home her drunk friend and his teenage roommate at 2 in the morning.

“Sorry again Noona. Jay was gonna give us a ride but he got tricked into doing shots with Jake.” Ni-ki apologises, causing Ari to wave him off nonchalantly, smiling gently at the younger boy. “It’s fine. I wasn’t doing anything important. Besides, at least this way I know he’s getting home safe.” Ari states, readjusting her grip around Heeseung’s torso to stop him from falling.

Once Heeseung is safely in the backseat, Ni-ki gives directions to their apartment. Ari finds herself looking through the rearview mirror at Heeseung’s sleeping figure throughout the drive. He was still awake and functioning when he called her, so the fact that he managed to drink enough to pass out since then is worrying.

By the time they’ve made it to the apartment, Heeseung has woken up a little. Although his eyes are still closed - he is at least responding to his name now, humming lowly and nodding his head whenever the word falls from someone’s lips.

The two carefully carry Heeseung up the stairs to his apartment, laying him down in his room. Ni-ki leaves to get his hyung some water, leaving Ari sitting at the foot of Heeseung’s bed. She gently wipes away the hair that has stuck to his forehead and tugs his shirt down that had ridden up, revealing some of his stomach.

“Heeseung?” Ari asks, causing the boy to hum at the sound of her voice - a dopey smile adorning his lips. “Ni-ki’s getting you some water. Can you sit up?” She asks, lacing her fingers through his and attempting to pull him into a sitting position. Heeseung allows her to move him around, dropping his head onto her shoulder with a thud.

“Be careful.” Ari softly scolds, bringing her hand to gently rub the part of his head he hit on her shoulder. The two find themselves in comfortable silence as they wait for Ni-ki to return.

“Ari?” Heeseung asks quietly, his words muffled slightly as he presses his face further into her neck. “Did you do this kinda stuff with your boyfriend?” He continues. Her fingers halt their movement at the sudden question, causing Heeseung to whine and press his head further into her hand.

Ari’s not sure what to answer. Does he mean look after him when he’s drunk? Is it the fact that she’s caressing his head? Heeseung sighs at her silence, mumbling a quiet nevermind before completely pulling away to lay down on the bed. Ari watches him for a moment, confusion written all over her features as she processes what just happened. Part of her knows exactly what he meant, after all, Heeseung isn’t the most subtle person in the world. She immediately shoves that thought down though, not emotionally ready to unpack it just yet.

Finally, Ni-ki returns with the water and gives Ari the greenlight to go home. Part of her wants to stay and make sure Heeseung’s okay, but she finds herself walking out of the apartment before she can even think of an excuse not to.

“Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed.” Heeseung exclaims, resting his head on the table in the kitchen. He can remember everything from the night before, and he’s not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse. Ni-ki pats his friend’s back sympathetically but offers no further help to the situation.

“Do I text her and apologise? Or do I wait for her to bring it up? What if she doesn’t remember and bringing it up only makes things worse? Wait, she was sober so of course she remembers!” Heeseung throws his head back in frustration, letting out a loud groan. “I am never getting out of the friendzone.” He whines, causing Ni-ki to roll his eyes. “You’re hopeless, hyung.” Ni-ki sighs before returning to the game he’s playing on his phone.

Trying to pretend everything is normal proves to be a difficult task. Heeseung remembers very clearly what he said to Ari the night he got drunk. He knows the implications behind his words and part of him wonders if Ari knows too.

She’s been normal, for the most part. Her voice, just as cheery when the two play games. Her smile, just as bright when they facetime late into the night. Everything seems fine on her end, and Heeseung can’t help but feel that maybe he’s the problem.

“Are you still awake?” Ari’s voice sounds through his phone speakers, snapping Heeseung out of his thoughts. “Yeah… I didn’t think you were.” Heeseung admits, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He grabs his phone from where it’s resting on his nightstand, holding it so she can see his face more clearly. “Can’t sleep.” Ari admits; a small smile on her lips when Heeseung’s face comes into focus. “I feel restless.” She adds, slightly laughing in disbelief.

You’d think after a day of uni, a five hour shift and multiple hours spent gaming, she’d have run out of energy by now. But here she lays at an unspeakable hour in the morning, not an ounce of tiredness in her body.

“Restless?” Heeseung asks, intrigued. “Yeah… like I need to get out of the house or something.” Ari sighs, running her hands through her hair. A moment of silence passes between them before Ari sighs once more.

“I think I’m gonna go for a drive. Clear my mind.” She says, picking up her phone as she goes on a hunt for her car keys. “Okay.” Heeseung says, his heart falling a bit at the thought of her hanging up.

Another moment of silence…

“Do you want to come?”

Sat in the passenger seat of Ari’s car, Heeseung feels his heart being pulled in two different directions. On one hand, he gets to spend more time with the woman he’s grown to love. He gets to bask in her presence, her scent sending his heart into a peaceful bliss. On the other hand, she isn’t as warm as normal. Her voice, not as cherry; her smile, not as bright. It’s as if someone has taken all the light from her heart. And thus, breaking Heeseung’s at the same time.

The car is fairly silent, some random radio station playing softly in the background. Neither Heeseung nor Ari make any move to start conversation - finding solace in the comfortable silence.

As the two pull into a nearly abandoned car park, Ari sits back in her chair - running her hands through her hair once more. Something she does when she’s stressed, Heeseung’s noticed.

“Is everything okay?” Heeseung asks, watching her from the passenger seat. He’s been watching her since she picked him up, her movements, mannerisms, the way she gently hums along to the radio when she knows a certain song. All things that would usually bring a smile to Heeseung’s face. But not tonight - not when there’s clearly something wrong.

Ari hums gently in response, turning in her seat to face Heeseung. Her eyes are tired, though still shimmering in a way that would put the entire galaxy to shame. “Have you ever given so much of yourself to someone, only for it to not be enough?” She asks softly. Heeseung can’t help the way he softly bites his lip, nodding gently to her question. “I think I know what you mean.” He says.

It’s one of Heeseung’s greatest fears, not being enough. Giving your everything to someone, to live, think and breathe all for them, only to have it all to be gone in the blink of an eye. It’s the reason Heeseung has never been in a serious relationship - as much as he is obsessed with the idea of falling in love, he’s scared. Because Heeseung falls hard and fast, and he wonders if there’s anyone in the world willing to fall with him.

Ari is everything Heeseung has ever wished for in human form. She feels and expresses her emotions more than anyone he has ever met. It’s what made her so different from everyone else he’s been interested in. Because some childish part of him believes in fate. And god, does this seem like it.

“You spaced out again.” Ari comments, causing Heeseung to sheepishly rub the back of his neck, mumbling a small apology. “I don’t suppose you have a remedy for a broken heart in that interesting head of yours?” Ari asks. She brings her finger up to gently poke between Heeseung’s brows, the furrow he didn’t even know about immediately fading.

“Me”

Heeseung is an idiot. The mix of shock and confusion on Ari’s face confirms that he did, in fact, say that out loud. His expression can’t help but mirror hers as he racks his brain for something… anything to say that can fix this. Is it even worth attempting to play it off? Or should he just man up and confess? He’s basically already started… so might as well give her an explanation.

“Fuck Ari… I just can’t stand to see you like this. Knowing that I could love you more than he ever did. Treat you better than he ever did. It pains me to think that he would just throw you away like you’re nothing, when there are people like me… people who would do anything to just hold you and feel you and love you.”

“You are so bright and warm and radiant and just so pretty. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And I know you don’t believe me, which makes you even more beautiful in my eyes.”

“I know, this is the worst time to tell you but I can’t just keep acting like it’s nothing. Like I feel nothing… It’s killing me, Ari.” Heeseung finishes, the hint of desperation in his voice causing Ari’s eyes to soften.

“Heeseung…” Ari lets out, not too sure how to respond. “I’m sorry. I know you’re upset and I just sprung all my feelings onto you, I should never have-”

“Heeseung.” Ari cuts him off, her tone a little sterner at the sound of his rambling. Heeseung bites his lips nervously as he awaits his fatal rejection. “Listen… you’re amazing, Heeseung…”

And there it goes. The infamous line is one he’s heard many times in his life. It starts off as a sweet compliment, almost tricking him into thinking there’s a possibility that just maybe they return his feelings. But all the hope of reciprocation goes out the window as soon as the word but is mumbled. You’re amazing Heeseung but just as a friend. You’re amazing Heeseung but you’re too much for me.

“Heeseung.” Ari repeats for a third time, once again breaking him out of his thoughts. He lets out a hum to let her know he’s listening, his eyes zoning in on a particularly interesting thread on his shirt. “Can you look at me, please?” Ari asks softly, reaching out to gently pull his hand away from the thread - hoping her touch will help to ease his mind in some way.

Heeseung reluctantly brings his eyes up to meet hers, trying to ignore the way his hand practically goes numb from the warmth of her own. Like it’s ascended to heaven from her touch alone. Ari sends him a small smile before continuing what she’s saying:

“Heeseung, I want you to believe me 100% when I say that you are one of the nicest, most considerate guys I’ve ever met. And I am so lucky to have someone like you in my life, who sees me and cares for me the way that you do.”

But… There’s always a but…

“But… it’s just not gonna work. Not right now, at least.”

Heeseung’s eyebrows furrow at her words. Usually rejections are so blatant and obvious, you’d be a fool to go away with any questions. So why is Ari rejecting him in a way that still leaves him with hope?

“You have been nothing but sweet and patient and attentive towards me and my feelings. You deserve to be with someone who will give you the same back, if not more. I’m sorry but… I don’t think I can do that for you right now… and I don’t know how long it’ll be until I can.”

Ari finishes her sentence with a gentle squeeze to Heeseung’s hand. He slowly lets go of the breath he was holding, being sure to squeeze back. “I understand.” He says quietly, a small smile on his face.

If there’s one thing Heeseung doesn’t know how to do, it’s give up. What sounded like a perfectly normal rejection to most people sounded completely different to Heeseung’s head. Because to him, the difference between no and not now is ginormous. And Ari didn’t tell him no.

The drive back to Heeseung’s apartment is equally as silent as the one before. Despite the relationship between the two not changing the way Heeseung would have liked, he can’t help the small smile on his face and the sudden feeling of freedom in his heart.

They mumble soft goodbyes as Heeseung gets out of the car, Ari winding down her window to watch him walk to his door. Before he can think, Heeseung turns back around to face her - causing Ari’s eyebrows to furrow with confusion.

“I’ll wait for you. As long as you’ll let me.” Heeseung says, holding out his pinkie as a promise. They both know what he means, and the thought alone brings a smile to Ari’s face.

Jay is a good friend. He reads people easily, noticing the small signs of what someone might be thinking. It’s definitely not psychic, but if there’s anyone in the world who’s close - it would be him.

Which is why he’s mentally beating himself up. Heeseung sits across from him at the campus cafeteria, happily eating his sandwich. And for the first time in their years of friendship, Jay can’t tell what he’s thinking.

It’s no secret that Heeseung has been oddly private recently… especially since he’s someone who’s known to share his life events with anyone willing to listen. Ever since the whole thing with Ari fell through (Jay assumes, since Heeseung hasn’t mentioned her in months) Heeseung hasn’t shared the story around his love life with any of the guys.

Speaking of the devil, Heeseung’s eyes light up as he sends a cheerful wave towards someone behind Jay - that someone turning out to be none other than Ari.

She politely bows to Jay before turning to face her friend. “I thought you had a lecture?” She asks. “Yeah but the cafeteria was gonna close and I really wanted a sandwich.” Heeseung says, motioning to the snack he’s currently holding. “You’re such a dork.” Ari giggles, glancing at the clock before her eyes widen. “Oh shit, I’ve got work.” She exclaims, pulling her phone out of her pocket to text someone. “I’ll call you later.” She continues, affectionately squeezing Heeseung’s shoulder before leaving.

Jay’s eyes stay furrowed with confusion, even as Heeseung turns back to face him. “What’s wrong?” Heeseung asks, taking another bite of his sandwich. Jay shakes his head slightly, looking down at his own food. “Nothing I just… I didn’t know you two were still talking.” Jay shrugs.

Now it’s Heeseung’s turn to be confused. He and Ari talk everyday? She even comes around every Thursday night and makes Tacos with him and Ni-ki. Why would Jay think they stopped talking?

The realisation suddenly hits him. Ever since he confessed, he hasn’t felt the need to mention Ari or his feelings towards her to the other guys. Since nothing will be coming from it anytime soon, he figured it’d be best to stop annoying them about it.

“Oh, yeah she rejected me a couple months back.” Heeseung says nonchalantly, causing Jay to look at him in shock. “It’s all good though. She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship and everything stayed basically the same. I just don’t talk about her cause… y’know, not like anything’s happening.” He continues. “Oh, well that’s good to know.” Jay nods, causing Heeseung to smirk at his friend.

“Why… do you miss gossiping about my love life?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “I’m not Sunoo.” Jay groans, rolling his eyes but smiling at his friend nonetheless. “Don’t worry, you’ll be the first to know if anything changes.” Heeseung says, happily taking a bite of his sandwich.

Heeseung still isn’t the best when it comes to love. But he’s certainly learning. This time last year, he would’ve had his week of crying and moved onto someone new. It’s honestly refreshing for Jay to see such a change in his friend. And if he knows anything about Heeseung, it’s that he doesn’t change for just anyone. Which means that this Ari girl must be pretty darn special.

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