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evilmortys · 3 years ago

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okay, so, here are my thoughts on the finale,

i’m gonna start with the things i didn’t like, just because of who i am as a person! my feelings are mixed, but... looks lovingly at evil morty. he truly was the only exception as usual ♥

i’m not going to lie, this whole thing felt. rushed. although some of rick’s meta commentary about not touching citadel shit because it was canon and he and morty were supposed to be going back to lighthearted one off adventures, and “the second he reveals that he’s evil, we’re out” made me laugh, it also felt very disingenuous and ham-fisted. having him do all these fourth wall breaks honestly took away from the impact of what this episode could have been, but whatever.

i just got the vibe that they wanted everyone to stfu about the citadel and evil morty, so they quickly stuck together this episode that dealt with fans’ demand in one fell swoop so they could move on from the existence of both plotlines. i honestly thought it was a bit wasteful since tales from the citadel resonated with a lot of fans and it was an interesting bit of worldbuilding with compelling narratives going on.

you already all likely know how irritated i am with morty’s character degrading so much once again. this entire season has been building him up to becoming so much more capable, only to wrench it away from him again by instead having his co-dependency with rick ramped up to the point it was literally out of character. this has come out of nowhere. at no point in the show’s entire run has morty ever been this needy with rick.

again, i feel like this may have been written around what eventually ended up happening at the citadel, with the revelation that mortys are ‘bred for forgiveness.’ it would have been far more compelling for our morty to have continued to go down the path of being decidedly unforgiving of rick’s bullshit, thereby making him deviate from the norm in a similar way to evil morty himself and implicating that the cycle of a morty going to these extremes is going to be repeated once again.

rick did not deserve or earn voicing the recognition that his dynamic with morty was toxic, and abusive. are you fucking kidding me? the smartest man in the universe only JUST clocked onto that? bullshit! he’s known all along, and he’s been using it for his own gain! he doesn’t get to just say it with that regretful voice as if he’s been clueless / oblivious to it this entire time. they just wanted the audience to feel sympathetic for him by throwing in this tidbit and a tragic backstory, as if that even sort of makes up for everything he’s put his family through.

abandoning the people you’ve hurt is ALSO abusive and toxic behaviour! he’s done it time and time again! how is acknowledging the fact that you hurt people, that you hurt your family, the people that love you despite the fact you objectively don’t deserve it, then ditching them once again instead of staying with them and improving as a person and helping everyone heal from what you’ve put them through, ANY BETTER?? he never changes!!

i also couldn’t really process the fact that rick just handed morty his portal gun like it was nothing-- i feel like him topping it off and using it behind rick’s back should have been a bigger deal than what it was. also, morty would not break a guy out of a mental asylum without a second thought. he simply wouldn’t do that.

we’ve fallen right back into the status quo of morty being stupid and rick being the smartest one in the room who always knows what’s going on, even when he actually shouldn’t for the sake of a few meta jokes. which is more annoying than i can put into words tbqh

obviously i hated all the parallels they were attempting to make between rick and morty having a romantic relationship and “breaking up.” never has morty behaved so uncharacteristically in any other episode of the show. it honestly felt disrespectful to all the growth he’s had as a character to reduce him to something so pathetic.

i guess this is less of a thing i disliked, and more of a commentary on rick’s character? but once again, his hypocrisy really leapt out at me once it was revealed that he always has a hand in bringing together beths and jerrys in order to ensure that more mortys will end up in the multiverse. i find it unbelievably sad that he’ll willingly ensnare the two of them in the throes of a relationship that he knows is likely to become toxic and cause the both of them to be miserable throughout their time together; they’re rarely happy / compatible together and always end up sticking it out for the kids. it also makes his constant shitting on jerry even more egregious and almost serves to call his love for his daughter into question for me. he’s using her as a means to his own ends by manipulating situations so she’ll meet jerry and they’ll likely end up together.

don’t get me wrong, i actually really loved the fact he had a hand in founding the citadel he now loathes so much, and i think the constant creation of mortys as grandsons ‘bred to forgive’ ricks is so fucked up and awful in the most intriguing way. it’s akin to him fiddling with the concept of keeping mortys in constant pain to cloak his comings and goings around the multiverse (on paper, morty, on paper!), except this time he did it in reality.

evil morty. oh my god, evil morty. my saving grace. my ray of light. i’m so, so, so pleased with the way he was handled. while i admit i was looking forward to more of a slow - burn thing, getting a bit of insight into his presidency and possibly exploring a dynamic with him and c-137 (we’ll get to that)... i honestly still really loved what ended up happening with him, even though i still believe on some level that they just wanted to tie up his narrative thread so fans wouldn’t remain fixated on him.

of course he did. of course that motherfucker rick created a boundary within the infinite multiverse that ensured he’d always be the smartest man within it as far as mortys and other people in his life were concerned. i’ve always found it odd that such universes were never brought up even in passing; the nature of infinite possibilities always dictated that someone smarter than him must exist out there, and that worlds existed where he was nobody special.

him being morally gray. i could cry. i was clinging on to the hope that it would be shown he hates ricks more than he looks down on mortys, and it absolutely was. while he was okay with killing and hurting mortys to achieve his own “selfish” ends, it’s clear that he’s unhappy with the cycle of abuse from their infinite grandfathers that pushes him to these extremes, loathes the concept that mortys are not supposed to defy their ricks. “if you’ve ever been sick of him, you’ve been evil morty too.” he hates ricks FAR more than he does mortys, and you can pry that from my cold, dead hands. he believes mortys are beyond help because of the way they stick by rick-- the fact they’re literally created with being yes-men for rick in mind.

he didn’t seek to make changes for the greater good of other mortys within the citadel. i think he understood on some level, it was impossible. i think he has this belief that other mortys are part of the problem, because they perpetuate the cyclic dynamic of toxicity and harm-- they don’t move to break free from it the way he does, and so he feels no guilt leaving them behind while he breaks into the aspect of the multiverse where rick has no power. it’s honestly heartbreaking that he’s come to have a mindset like that.

i think seeing c-137 reach out to help rick up once again instead of accepting what i hope and pray was a semi - genuine offer to join him as he departed was just yet another instance of him witnessing a morty doing the most to save the man who makes their lives a living hell. if he was truly unsympathetic, he’d have made no such offer. if he thinks a morty is capable of pulling away from the hold ricks have on them, he wants them out of this shit just as much as he himself wants to break free from it. i think he has the mindset that i know they tried to play it off with “haha the other seat’s a toilet,” but i don’t think that was the case and they were once again just undermining the moment for no good reason. SCREAMS!! don’t get me wrong what he did WAS selfish and evil. but in a way you can understand where it derives from

again, it REALLY irritates me they’ve undone so much of morty’s character just to ensure he wouldn’t end up taking evil morty up on his proposition. if morty had retained even a tenth of the character growth he’s been having from late season four until towards the end of season five, wherein it began to unravel, he’d have left rick. undeniably.

the yellow portal. oh my god............

it made me so fucking emotional to see that. he’s won. he’s free.

#rick and morty #evil morty #okay this isn't even all of them but it will do #alex talks!

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plus-size-reader · 4 years ago

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The Only Saviors Left Alive

Negan x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 2124 words

Warnings: none

Summary: Negan goes back to the sanctuary and finds a whole lot more than he expects to

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“It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve seen you”

Negan stopped, of course, unsure of where your voice was coming from but the most confusing part was that he recognized it.

He would have known your voice anywhere but he certainly never thought he'd hear it again.

After all this time, Negan thought for sure that you were dead.

As best he could tell, there was nothing left of any of his life before. The sanctuary was in ruins, all your people were gone. He’d had to learn just how different it was the hard way today.

“What happened here?” he called, still unsure where you were. Negan hoped you would come out but whether you did or not, none of this made any sense.

This whole thing was a mess.

No one knew that better than you did.

Negan didn’t, not really, bit after how everything had gone down but you couldn’t exactly blame him for that. It wasn’t particularly his fault, of course, it was mostly his fault but not all his fault.

“Rick wanted to bring the groups together, but that never really included us” you started, thinking back to those first few months after his capture.

He wanted a better world, but no one could get over what had happened. They couldn’t get over the hate and resentment they had for the saviors. You were sure that some of them made it work but to your knowledge, most of them were dead.

Without Negan, they didn’t have anywhere to go or anyone looking after them.

They had been stupid, thinking the world would work in their favor, you didn’t believe it for a second.

That was why you were still here.

These walls were your home and as shitty as it was right now, it was always going to be your home. It was where you belonged, and the fact that you were alone wasn’t going to change that.

“Yeah, I figured that might happen” he shrugged, trying to figure out where you were by the way your voice bounced off the walls.

He desperately wanted to see you, after all this time, but you weren’t coming out. Obviously, you didn't want to and really, he wasn’t sure that he could blame you.

Negan wasn’t blind, clearly a lot of his actions had gotten you both here.

“Most of them are dead, I guess. Sometimes Jed and the others come by but it's been a long time since I’ve seen them” you explained, thinking over each word carefully.

So much had happened since he’d been gone, it was hard to sum it all up now. You weren’t in the mood to rehash the collapsing of this place.

Negan was relieved, in part, to know that at least some of those sorry assholes wouldn’t leave you alone in all this. He should have known none of the others would

...And you sure as hell wouldn’t leave.

You had always been as stubborn as a mule.

“I bet you didn’t expect a visit from me then, huh sugar?” he teased, flipping over one of the stools to sit on. You were still nowhere to be found but he hoped at some point that you would come down.

It wasn’t like he was just going to leave now that he knew you were here. There was a better chance of hell freezing over.

“No, really I figured you went out and got yourself killed” your voice sounded different this time when it reached his ears. Your footsteps reached his ears later than your voice as you walked down the steel steps.

In all honesty, you weren’t really prepared for what you were doing, or what would happen when you saw him again after all this time, but you knew it had to be done. You couldn’t hide from Negan, not anymore.

There was a time when you were inseparable, the only two people at the top of the world, but now you were together again at the bottom of the barrel. It was far from ideal, but that was just how it was.

You couldn’t do anything about it.

The saviors were long gone, dead you assumed, and everything you had once held dear was gone too. There was nothing else for you, and yet, you didn’t dare leave this place.

It was the only place in the world you felt safe. You knew how stupid that was and how out of your depth you were but the sanctuary was where you had lived for so long, it was all you had.

Negan must have felt that way too, because he wouldn’t have come if he didn’t.

“I missed you, ya know that don’t you?” he sighed, gingerly wiping the sweat from his brow bone. Your movements and his were deafening, the only thing that could be heard throughout the stark and desolate compound.

If you strained your ears, you may have caught a bit of groaning outside the walls from the dead, but nothing more than that. The sound of your breath leaving your lungs was all you could focus on as you walked, and that was more than enough.

You were nervous.

It was stupid, perhaps more stupid than your being here at all, but when you really stopped to think about it, you had missed Negan.

For some time, you even thought that Rick killed him, until you got news that wasn’t the case. Some of the saviors moved to help him build his bridge, doing all they could to survive, but you didn’t bother to leave.

You rarely dealt with anyone other than the saviors at all, even after that day in the field. The saviors were your people, they were yours to look after, and even if there were no survivors left, you were still going to be here.

It just didn’t seem like a good idea to go anywhere else.

You had never been anywhere other than the sanctuary, you had never been anything more than a savior, than one of Negan’s wives. On the rare occasion that any saviors managed to make it in any of the other communities, you weren’t going to be one of them.

They would sooner kill you.

“I’m sure. You’ve had more than enough time to think, locked up in a cage like an animal” you scoffed, finally rounding the corner to the floor, making eye contact with the man you loved for the first time.

It was strange.

There was a time where you wouldn’t have been anywhere other than his side, when you would have died for him, but for whatever reason, you felt different now. Perhaps it was all that had changed, or all the time between now and then.

One thing was for sure, whatever it was, you weren’t a fan.

Negan had provided you with support, stability, and love in all the years that you had been together but lately, you had done that for yourself. It forced you to wonder what you had been so confident in for so long, and why you had been so ready to die for him?

For so long, he was practically a God for you and saviors, but that man was long gone.

“You look like shit”

You didn’t even hesitate to comment, though admittedly the words slipped from your lips before you thought them over. It was true, all those years he’d been locked up had clearly taken their toll, and he had changed quite a bit.

Not that he wasn’t as attractive as he always was, he was just different.

“Damn baby, that’s a hell of a welcome home” Negan scoffed, not even batting an eye at your crude nature. It was something that he had always admired about you and something that was more okay now.

He’d missed your smart mouth and attitude, if he was being honest with himself.

“Does this look like our home?” you questioned, sitting down across from him just hidden from view by a shadow cast from the broken window. It left a smattering of light between you on the concrete floor but you ignored it.

Right now, you had much more pressing matters to worry about.

As far as you understood, Negan was never supposed to get out of that little box they put him in. After all, Michonne made it clear to you that you were lucky they didn’t send Negan’s head to you in a box, like they were doing you a favor in even keeping him alive.

It had been another source of contention between you and the Alexandrians from the start, but you couldn’t change the fact that they had the upper hand. Those first few months, you had to worry much more about feeding your people than getting Negan out of there.

Besides, part of you was angry with him, resentful that he had done this in the first place.

The sanctuary was at the top before getting involved with Rick and the Alexandrians. You had everything you had ever wanted and the entire compound was working just as it was designed and then, in the blink of an eye, it was gone.

It was all gone because of his ego.

He took every exchange between him and Rick as a game, as a chance to flaunt his power and influence instead of just going about business as you always had. If he had only listened to you, your lover would have never been locked away in the first place.

Naturally, you were a little bitter about it now.

Look at where you were.

“I’ll give you that, this place really went to hell huh?” he shrugged, surveying all that was left of the palace the two of you had built. Now it was little more than the ruins of what it was, a reminder of those who had lived there

...Just like every other bar, house, and building for hundreds of miles.

“Yeah, sorry about that honey, I didn’t have time to clean up before you got here” Negan could hardly make out the details of your face in the dim shadows but he knew you well enough to know that an eye roll came with that.

That attitude clearly hadn’t gone anywhere in all these months.

“Are you upset with me, sweetheart? Trouble in paradise?” he allowed, shooting back at you with just as much attitude as you were bringing to the table. All this time between you had caused quite a bit of turmoil between you, things that needed to be addressed, but there was no use in that.

It wouldn’t change anything.

“I didn’t want to leave you there, you know? I tried to get you back but we were outnumbered. We didn’t have guns or men or food to feed those men, we didn’t have anything” you sighed, doing your very best to keep from getting emotional.

It had been so hard for so long, and in the end, you lost, more than anyone else. Nothing you tried to do was enough, you couldn’t get Negan back, and all your people were dead. Obviously, you weren’t as good a leader as he was.

Maybe if you had been, you wouldn’t be sitting here on a concrete brick, turned over in a few inches of water.

“Turns out, a kingdom tends to fall without the king who built it. Nobody told me that” you grumbled, folding your arms across your chest. You weren’t mad, not anymore, but it was proving more difficult than you assumed to see him again.

This morning, you assumed that you would never see him again in your life, just like you did every other morning for the past few years. That was the only thing you had anymore, and now you had nothing at all.

It sucked.

“Hey, this isn’t your fault. You could have never known how it would go down” he tried, but you had already heard enough. Negan may have been gone, but his schtick was the same as it ever was.

This was just the way he was, trying to make you feel better even when you clearly had no hope at all, and finding a way to blame anything else even when you were fully at fault. He thought he could protect you from the world, but that wasn’t the case anymore.

That hadn’t been the case in a long time.

“Maybe not, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and I are the only Saviors left alive” you hummed, looking around the large compound as you spoke, your words echoing around you with a finality that caught you off guard.

There was no going back now.

#negan #negan x reader #negan x ps reader #negan x plus size reader #negan imagine #twd #twd x reader #twd x ps reader #twd x plus size reader #twd imagine #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead #the walking dead x ps reader #the walking dead x plus size reader #the walking dead imagine

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hueninqkais · 4 years ago

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rr crit. masterpost

seen rick riordan criticism and ever wondered what the big deal was? maybe you saw some people talking about how much they disliked a certain aspect of his books and just thought that at least he gave us this diversity in the first place.

either way, this post is for you! i’ve compiled a list of meta and explanations from across tumblr that actually come from people who are able to speak on his representation in novels and this will help shed some light on why specific parts of rick riordan’s books are criticised!

preface: i’ll clarify that i am not trying to hate on rick riordan and i’m not making this as a post to start drama or to complain! i’ve always loved his books since i was young and read pretty much all his series! but there is really no excuse for a privileged white man to mess up this badly :/

but as humans in an everchanging society, we’re witnesses to change and to growth!! and our perception of media can affect how we empathise and treat the plight of others who are less fortunate in mainstream society. even if you don’t seen the problem in these criticisms or aren’t affected, please do not speak over those who are!! i’ll put the list under the tag <3

poc representation

medusa + middle eastern representation by @moontheapollocamper ↳ you might remember medusa from the first book in the percy jackson series, this piece covers what was problematic about how she was written and what stereotypes she enforced.

brazilian representation by @ellakay69 ↳ this is a very detailed and easy to understand post on why paolo’s character in trials of apollo is a terrible example of brazilian representation

on samirah’s arranged engagement in the books by @kubo ↳ perpetuating a harmful stereotype when many have been harmed is incredibly problematic

on the dehumanisation of poc and the dismissal of their experiences by @mustwealwaysbepredictable ↳ an important post to read as it breaks down the issues with riordan’s casual and problematic depiction of certain poc

paolo’s character in trials of apollo by @fan-dot ↳ another good post to help understand why paolo was thoughtlessly characterised just to fill a representation slot

poc characters and their families by @ellakay69 ↳ op made some excellent points here on how the poc families and their experiences are treated

adultification of black girls by @literateleah there have been many professional studies done on how black girls are always portrayed as more mature, and ‘adult’ and hazel fell into this category

physical appearance

riordan’s portrayal of acne by @skatersuki ↳ a quick summary on why rick’s descriptions of acne were hurtful especially since his books are meant to cater to young teenagers who might be going through the same experiences

the depictions of piper and hazel by @howelljenkins ↳ would definitely recommend if you want to understand how piper and hazel’s coloured eyes (something glorified in fanarts) is problematic

on mixed race sadie by @goth-hazel ↳ this is an incredibly broad issue but it should be understood and this post is a good start!

lgtbq+ representation

riordan’s portrayal of reyna as an ace woman by @michaelyew ↳ breaks down the stereotypes that riordan made reyna’s character enforce and why this representation of asexuality is problematic nico’s coming out by @earthlyruins a brief but important take on why nico’s coming out was probably one of the worst ways to portray the coming out of a character onto impressionable young people

there’s a lot more to unpack here and i’ll continue to edit this post and add links!

problematic plotlines

why rick riordan’s ‘world war two was caused by the big three’ is a terrible storyline by @jewishpercy ↳ this was a well written and an eye opening text post for me because it was something i had never considered before and it definitely helped me understand why this particular point was actually quite gross :/ on the topic of rr saying that children of hades were nazis by @luke-x-percy ↳ good points are made here and this post points out the disgusting insensitivity that riordan portrayed when he brought the holocaust into mythology

serious events brushed by riordan by @hazellpjo ↳ you can see how serious issues were used for plot points by riordan when they really shouldn’t have been

how mallory’s death was incredibly insensitive by @sapphic-ace-reyna ↳ again, another piece that helped me understand something that i had never thought about and well written!

other opinions to give you something to think about

stereotypes pushed by riordan’s books by @canarhys on the topic of poc names and nicknames by @rowansdamisch the problems with riordan’s characters in heroes of olympus by @housemartius what to consider when these criticisms are brought up by @knuffled on the portrayal of mixed race sadie by @howelljenkins a overall criticism of the mythology in the pjo books by the @theatomicboom on buff girls in media by @macsi sadie and uh the age difference by @spoopy-elliot

#rr crit #pjo crit #rr critical #riordanverse #rick riordan #hoo crit #tkc crit #mcga crit #anti rick riordan #anti rr #mine #mine: rr crit

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hufflesocks · 4 years ago

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Ok so I am a huge fan of the head cannon that the cores were once human so basically I’m just going to give my head cannon for what happened prior to GLaDOS taking over the facility and the events of Portal and Portal 2. And since I have been holding these head cannons in for too long, so I’m just going to info dump:

Due to the importance of Cave Johnson’s project of putting one’s consciousness into a computer, I would assume that those working on the project would want to run tests prior to the real thing. And what’s better than testing on the real thing: other people. For the very first test, the scientists working on the project decided to have the subject be one of Aperture’s many maintenance workers. This was due to that fact that if the test was successful then they could continue to use the core for maintenance work, and a robot doesn’t need breaks nor do they get sick. The candidate they chose was an immigrant from Norway named Virgil Evensen. He had no remaining close relatives and outside of a friendly old lady that he would cat sit for no one who would miss him. They put a lot of effort into the exterior of the core’s shell even going so far as to giving it floral designs that matched the tattoos of the subject they were using. The scientists wanted to make a very good first impression, and they did. The first transfer of human consciousness into a robot was a success. Though they learned the hard way that in order to avoid any existential crisis the memory of said person had to be completely whipped. Using this information they began to perform many other similar tests, with many other employees to create the personality cores.

Two particular Scientists who were involved in the project were Craig Nelson and Richard “Rick�� Owens. Craig was originally on the project dealing primarily with with the science of actually transferring over human consciousness, while Rick was later partnered with him to help with the robotics aspect. Their relationship as co-workers was strained at first, but soon evolved into one of reluctant tolerance. Craig had a tendency to be a bit stuck up and arrogant, while Rick was more well adventurous and a bit of a braggart(think of him as a flirtatious cowboy). Rick developed the the type of attitude towards Craig that’s like “it’s not ok for anybody to pick on this person, but me.”

Rick grew up on a ranch in Montana with his older brother Connor. Connor went to school for Aeronautics, and eventually found himself under the employment of an up and coming science institute: Aperture Science. Rick followed in his brother’s footsteps getting a job at the same facility but in the field robotics. Rick enjoyed living and working in close proximity to his brother as he had a falling out with his father soon before he got the job. Eventually his brother got married and had a kid, named Kevin. One day, however only a few months after Kevin’s birth, his wife left in the middle of the night without a trace. So Kevin grew up with his father and his “cool uncle Rick.” Often Kevin would stay with Rick while his father was on space missions. This prompted him to develop an extreme love for anything and everything space. But one typical two week visit with his uncle became a permanent one. Rick had no idea what to do when he found out that his brother went missing in space. He was torn between grieving and figuring out a how to take care of Kevin. He was supposed to be “Cool uncle Rick.” The guy his nephew would hangout with, while his father was busy, not the kids primary caretaker. And the hardest part was figuring out a way to tell the kid his father wasn’t coming home. In the end he tried to explain that his father was now in space living amongst the stars. He hoped the kid understood the metaphor. But instead it just turned Kevin’s interest in space into an infatuation with going to space. Regardless, Rick managed to make the new situation work. Though taking care of Kevin by himself often ment bringing Kevin to Aperture’s daycare center when he couldn’t find a baby sitter.

Around this time employees began to seemingly disappear out of thin air. Due to the fact that Rick was on the lower end of Aperture’s personality core project he never knew the real reason. He just provided the blueprints for the cores and checked them over when they were done. He never picked up on the fact that their personalities seemed a bit too human. One day about several years after his brother’s death and only a few days after the CEO of Aperture’s, someone very important stopped showing up to work. Caroline was one of the few people at that facility who actually listened to what he had to say and didn’t just brush him off. Plus he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t developed a small crush on her. First Rick asked Craig if he knew anything, to which he received a curt “no.” Figuring Craig was just being himself, Rick began asking around with the higher ups. All of whom seemed to side step the question, say that she must have quit, or claimed they were too busy with Aperture’s new, biggest project GLaDOS. Eventually Rick was forced to drop it.

Craig was more involved in the higher ups of the personality core and GLaDOS projects. Thus, meaning that he knew the scientists were getting more desperate in using cores to control GLaDOS as well as which employees were up next for the trials. Apparently asking around about the disappearance of a higher up at Aperture was a sensitive subject. So when Craig heard who the project’s next test subject was, he immediately went to warn him. If anyone asked, Craig hated his coworker Rick, but in reality the two had formed a begrudging friendship. Plus the fact that Rick had a nephew to care for, didn’t make the decision to use him as a test subject sit well with Craig. Craig tried to warn Rick as best he could, without divulging the warning’s motive. But saying that Rick should quit immediately for no reason and leave Aperture pissed Rick off for some reason.

The next day when Rick went to work, Craig wasn’t at his desk, and Craig was always at his desk. This made Rick extremely worried. No matter how mad he was after their recent exchange; the guy never missed work, not even for sick days. This time he was more forceful in his questioning, demanding to know the reason for his friend’s disappearance. But the only answers he received were shrugs and suggestions that he get back to work.

By this point he was fully aware something real bad was going on, and was really reluctant to bring Kevin in with him the next day. But he couldn’t find a babysitter and he couldn’t leave the kid alone. After dropping off Kevin at the daycare center, he went to his desk. As he looked up from putting his “adventure” hat in the lower drawer of his desk, he saw two men in lab coats standing beside him. One addressed him by name and asked him to follow them for a scheduled testing session(something that employees were often asked to do every so often). However, Rick had a bad feeling about it and was reluctant to go. The two Scientists tried to restrain him, but he managed to fight them off. Once free his next thought was to find his nephew and get out. But before he could take another step a needle was injected into his neck and everything went dark.

The Scientists knew they had been too careless, when a daycare employee approached them. It was the end of the day and the employee asked when one of the young boys’ uncle would be arriving to pick him up. They were desperate. The GLaDOS project was failing and they needed to cover up any loose ends that could possibly lead to the beyond unethical actions of the project being released to the public. So they followed the daycare employee to the center and found the boy sitting at a table playing with a rocket ship. Recognizing the lab coat attire as one that his uncle often wore Kevin asked where his uncle was. In response the scientists offered to take the boy to his uncle.

The last three cores were hastily made. They were full of bugs and sported the personalities of Fact, Adventure, and Space(if one could even call those personalities). It was no surprise that they didn’t work when GLaDOS was booted up. The scientists were running out of ideas, and began to think the project a failure. Until one of the younger scientist by the name of Dr. Doug Rattmann offendedly and sarcastically mentioned using artificial intelligence based personality cores instead. Much to his dismay the scientists took his idea. They had enough data collected from the numerous personality core tests, that they could easily develop an AI software. Perhaps using AI would be better for managing a Human based robot, rather than other human based robots. The first test was run using a core with a focus on curiosity. GLaDOS lasted a whole quarter of a second before trying to kill the scientists. The test was a success and it looked like with just a few more cores, the scientists could get the machine under control.

#portal 2 #portal 2 headcannons #I know some things are a little off from cannon #but hey that’s why these are headcannons #and are done just for fun #portal stories: mel #fact core #rick the adventure core #space core #virgil portal

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androgynousblackbox · 3 years ago

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not sure if you answered this before but do you still like the writing in rick and morty for what it is? i've seen lots of fans saying it went downhill after s2-s3 (it varies depending on who you ask) and i was wondering if you felt the same way.

I think that a lot of the fans that say that are the type to identify with Rick way too much and want him to be the unbeteable unquestionable badass of the earlier seasons, because what happens after that what the show does is take away his power, let him lose, be vulnerable and even call him out on his bullshit.

I do like the writing and I might even say the last season was one of my favourites because it had a clear premise (elaborate on the relationship between Rick and Morty), they follow through with almost all the episodes and came to a satisfactory ending that completely destroys the position of Rick as the smartest guy on all universes, which only makes me more excited about how they are going to follow through with that.

I know not every fans feels the same, that they say this was even the worst one yet, but frankly most of the complaints make no sense for me. So you were all okay with seeing a giant homeless santa blow up over the world after making jokes out of his giant cock blocking the sky, Morty having an alien son with a sex robot, dream Summer wanting a "intergenerational sandwich" with Morty and Rick and other edgy bullshit but a space incest baby somehow is too much? I don't get it. This show was always praised and stand out because of it's edgy humour, but now somehow it's not smart enough for all of you... Because of edgy humour?

Dudes. Maybe the show was never this beacon of absolute brilliance and "you need to be this high IQ to get it" kind of thing, ever thought about that? It's not a silly show either, but I never understood why people were so insistent into making it seem like the smartest show ever that is falling out of grace just when the show NOW is smart enough to let Rick lose.

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aislingyngaio-games · 4 years ago

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The Tifareth Balance

I think this goes all the way back to the gnostic tree, and how everything has to be brought into balance to achieve Final Heaven.

Introduction: Where the Characters Begin in FF7

At the beginning of the story, Aerith was treated all her life as special by certain individuals - Turks, Shinra/Hojo, Elmyra, Zack. This gave her a very young Queen Victoria levels of self-importance and obstinence, very self-centered world view if you will, and that's why in OG she's always asking Cloud what he thinks about her etc (which actually implies she's rather confused that she isn't already the center of his world somehow) during dialogue options. This is also I believe partially why she seems to sense Ifalna, Elmyra’s husband, and Zack enter the Lifestream, yet seems inured when two reactors, a plate, and the related mass loss of life occurred. Surely she should have been overwhelmed by the sheer number of souls passing back into the Lifestream, yet she seems perfectly deaf to this mass upheaveal and more concerned about her own earthly affairs as she meets Cloud? Sounds oddly cold for a steward of the planet who could hear its cries, however faintly. There’s no Obiwan-Alderaan moment for her at all. Her starting point is that she misses the forest for the trees.

Meanwhile, we have Tifa, who though in her youth was the center of a circle of friends, we learn during the Lifestream that none of them actually understood her, esp obvious during her grief over her mother's death. For an introvert, this is actually a deeply socially draining experience, and since then, given how one by one her social circle deserted her and the village for job opportunities, she is left to believe she's simply a cog in the Grand Scheme. She's always had to suppress her own self and think of others before her. It doesn't matter that she probably wants to leave the village that's been emptied of her peers - she's the chief's daughter so she must stay. It doesn't matter that she disagreed over the reactor bombings, for the Greater Good Avalanche must do something to save the Planet, so she had to acquiesant against her own wishes. It was she who worried and grieved most for the two reactor bombings and the plate fall and its associated loss of life, even though she still had Cloud with her, and realistically couldn’t actually hear the cries of the Planet. Her starting point is that she misses the trees for the forest.

In other words, at the beginning of the story, Aerith is too selfish and Tifa is too selfless. And as author Rick Riordan once wrote, "The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation. Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed." (Athena, The Titan's Curse)

Aerith’s Character Arc in FF7

Over the course of the story, we see Aerith, even while leveraging her position and her blood against Shinra's encroachment, was equally afraid of her own powers. She ignored and hid herself away from the problems of Gaia, hiding under the protection of Elmyra for as long as she could. She disregards opinions and feelings of others like when she totally misjudged how to handle Barret's raw emotions over Corel at the Gold Saucer. She was not at all oblivious to Tifa's feelings yet still attempted to monopolize Cloud's attentions in front of her. This behaviour can be traced back to her need to stand firm against the Turks’/Shinra’s persuasions, though when used on regular people like the team, it is very offputting, abrasive, thoughtless and likely was what actually alienated her peers from her growing up. Ultimately, she made the fatal mistake of believing she knows what's best for the group in merrily skipping off alone into the Forbidden City (I mean, sure, we all know Cloud was unstable from the Jenova manipulation but there were 7 other sane party members who could have been consulted and split up before she skipped off unprotected?), and ultimately her fatal flaw of arrogance and selfishness caused her death. Not because she meant to die, knowing it will protect the planet, because she'd always intended to return to the team ("She talked about the future more than the rest of us"), but she died anyway because her arrogance and selfishness were her fatal flaw.

I think it is only in death, though unaddressed explicitly by the game story itself (which of course remains on the living party members, and therefore is the story of life, and how life still moves on after death), that she truly grasped the littleness of who she is. That ultimately, back in the Lifestream with all the other Cetras, she was finally able to understand that in the end, she was just another Cetra in the great battle against Jenova. Sure, she was the Cetra who summoned Holy, but it was actually doing more harm than good by itself. It was only with the collective power and force of the Lifestream, of all who were born of the Planet and all who returned to the Planet, that Meteor was able to aid Aerith (Holy) in pushing back Meteor. In accepting her ordinariness among the Cetra is when Aerith truly becomes the mother of Gaia, even if nobody other than the FF7 team will ever remember her name. Her legacy lives on in Gaia, along with the legacy every other Cetra died to preserve.

Aerith's character arc is to temper her selfishnes with selflessness, to care for the welfare of all instead of the welfare of a few individuals, and to recognise that she is but a small part in the greater plan, that it is ok to not be special. Her special blood didn't stop her from dying, nor was she alone the only saviour of the Planet. In the end, I believe that Aerith's journey in FF7 is her journey to understand that no matter how special she seems to be, in the end, the Planet will still live on without her too, with Nanaki as the probable successor to her decimated race's role as the new steward of the Planet.

Tifa’s Character Arc in FF7

As for Tifa, her character arc is the complete opposite: to temper her selflessness with selfishness. How odd a concept for a protagonist! Except it goes right back to the balance necessary to achieve Final Heaven ("The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation"). Tifa is shy, she is reserved, she always puts the needs and wants of others above her own, even if she disagrees. She didn't challenge Barret when she disagrees with his methods. She didn't challenge Aerith even when her own feelings were hurt, yet still she was kind in the face of such unkindness (intentional or not). She suppressed her own feelings for Cloud and tries only to behave like a friend to him even though she feels more. And most damning in her character arc, she didn't challenge Cloud over the knowledge that "I waited... but Cloud never came." It was the only piece of the Nibelheim incident she could recall clearly, but because she was too insecure in her own memories (though the rest of the Incident could be chalked up to the trauma caused by her almost dying by Masamune, Cloud's alleged absence at Nibelheim wasn't, because she had pinned her hopes on his arrival and her disappointment was palpable) she allowed what she knew to be false to stand in between them for the sake of Cloud's mental stability.

I have posited in another post that Tifa is not only the heroine of FF7 but the co-protagonist as well, or at the very least the deuteragonist. It is very telling that 10 minutes after Aerith's death, the team went snowboarding, whereas when Cloud and Tifa were both broken emotionally by Sephiroth and had their joint Heroic BSoD moment, the game experienced a timeskip. How odd that the permanent physical death of a valued party member didn't stop the game dead but the death of Cloud and Tifa's trusts in their own memories did? Yet it is important to mention as too many times already Tifa has simply been dismissed as unimportant, as simply the crutch, the guide to Cloud's story and nothing more. This could not be further from the truth. Tifa's story does not simply inform Cloud's. Tifa's story is ENTWINED with Cloud's. Even as their stories run parallel to each other's, crossing the same events, their arcs are both independent AND interdependent on each other's. Tifa is not simply a plot device or the narrator or whatever one calls Tifa in an attempt to dismiss her role in the bigger FF7 story. (And I mention this because even some Tifa fans forget this in their desire to whitewash Tifa's culpability in the Northern Crater affair, which is actually a key turning point in Tifa's hero's journey)

Someday perhaps I will write a full breakdown of Tifa’s hero’s journey (because it’s honestly frustrating to see claims – even from Tifa fans – of Tifa needing a character arc of her own when it’s always been in FF7 all along if only players will take off their protagonist/Cloud-tinted glasses) in greater detail, but for the sake of the discussion of her arc in the context of the gnostic tree and the role of balance within oneself, I will simply say this: that it is only in the death of her trust in herself, and in seeing the emotional death of the one she holds most dear (Cloud’s mental stability shattering at the Northern Crater), that she learns she cannot simply stand passively by even in the face of what she knows to be wrong, just to protect someone else’s feelings and wants. She learns that even inaction has consequences. That she has to be brave enough, assertive enough, just selfish enough to place her own needs and desires, her own thoughts and beliefs, on an equal importance to the rest of the party, even the Planet’s. That just because the world is ending, it doesn’t make her personal struggles any less important than the world’s problems, it doesn’t mean the problem can be ignored or that it will simply go away, or even that it’s unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

She erred, she fell, she “died”. And she learned, she grasped the second chance with both hands, and at Mideel, she stood firm and said, “This is where I want to be. Being with Cloud. Caring for him.” It wasn’t revenge she pursued any longer, or high-minded abstract ideals like saving the Planet. She still would help save the Planet if she could, but for once in her life, she put her foot down and make clear her own priorities – to be by the side of the one she love above all else. And she could make this decision without jeopardizing the Planet because of her ordinariness. She wasn’t imbued with special powers or special bloodlines or special keepsakes and her absence will most likely not affect the Planet’s safety or lack thereof. Even in her absence, we are sent on story missions that still ended in failure – heck, even after Cloud and Tifa rejoined, the Huge Materia space mission still failed anyway, because the point is... just because one wants to save the Planet doesn’t mean one can (after all, summoning Holy didn’t work either, at least not at first).

This is also paralleled with Tifa’s caring of Cloud: there was literally no guarantee that Cloud will ever recover from his Mako poisoning – he could be a vegetable forever, and yet this is still Tifa’s choice. This isn’t just about Cloud, but about Tifa asserting her desire to be with Cloud even in the face of both world destruction and his permanent vegetative state. This is who Tifa wants to be, who Tifa chooses to be. This isn’t something being pushed onto her as part of some “greater good” that she should ignore her own wants and needs for. (And to all those who deride Tifa as being weak for making her choices all for one man, remember that feminism isn’t about a “strong independent woman who need no man”, it’s about having the right to choose who we wish to be without being forced by any societal expectations of us. “Life doesn't make any sense without interdependence. We need each other, and the sooner we learn that, the better for us all." — Erik Erikson. If anything, Tifa choosing to stay by Cloud’s side is the very definition of feminism – it’s not about what we do, rather, that we have a right to choose without being shamed for what we choose to do)

Yet in the Lifestream is when she truly finds herself together with Cloud. She learns that, though she believed she is too ordinary to be special to anyone (remember, though she was the center of her group of friends in her youth, none of them really looked back when the time came for them, or at least she thought none did more than mere talk anyway), she was actually the reason for Cloud’s entire journey, that he reciprocated special feelings for her, that he always intended to return for her. She learned that, just as Cloud’s impetus was her reason for taking up martial arts (one of the few acts of “rebellion”/assertiveness in her youth where she was probably pressured to stay in the village either due to her father’s position or her gender), she was the reason for Cloud’s desire to be a hero too. Tifa was special in her ordinariness. She meant enough to someone who meant enough to her.

Tifa’s arc is to recognise that though she won’t ever be important to the Planet as an individual, she was important enough to the one that mattered most. It is not wrong or “selfish” to find individual love and prioritise it equal to the needs of the Planet. And in the end, it was this revelation and resolution of both her and Cloud’s mutual feelings for each other that gave Cloud the strength he’d previously only accessed from despair five years ago, the strength to defeat Sephiroth. And it was only with Sephiroth’s defeat that Holy was unleashed, and only when the Lifestream joined its chorus that the Planet was ultimately saved. In the end, it was the importance Tifa “selfishly” placed on her own wants and needs that saved Cloud, and by saving him, the Planet as well. If she’d been told that Cloud’s predicament, a single individual, was nothing in the face of the end of the world, if she hadn’t been just that little bit selfish in the face of her extreme selflessness, it might have simply brought them nothing but destruction.

Conclusion

In this sense, I believe that Aerith and Tifa were indeed developed to be two halves of the same whole. They started off as two extremes in terms of personality – Aerith was self-centered, assertive and intransigent, while Tifa was selfless, passive and insecure. Yet these are only negative traits when taken to extreme, and by meeting each other, by learning from each other, tempering and moderating each other’s behaviour, by Aerith learning to be more considerate, more humble and more persuadable (because my god, was Aerith utterly brattish and unbearable in Remake before she met Tifa), by Tifa learning to be more assertive, more confident, to take pride in herself, the two halves of a whole bring each other to balance and become better versions of themselves for it.

"The most dangerous flaws are those which are good in moderation. Evil is easy to fight. Lack of wisdom… that is very hard indeed."

P.S. tagging @enigmaphenomenon as it was your twitter thread that inspired this post. A lot of the thoughts in this impulsive post probably definitely needs a hell lot more refining by more critical minds but I hope this is a good starting point for discussion.

#final fantasy 7 #Aerith Gainsborough #tifa lockhart #gnostic symbolism #cloti

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ilkkawhat · 3 years ago

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MA'AM 👀👀👀👀👀👀 Nick/Jack/Javier vamps??? I think we've talked about that before but I need more!! Also Parker football and Skater Boi And The Beast You Made of Me and The Violence in the Pouring Rain (I couldn't copy and paste titles so there might be some of these wrong sorry!) All of them are interesting!

oh delta thank you so much 💜💜💜 i always appreciate your interest in all of these 🫂

we did talk about the nick/jack/javier fic but I’LL GLADLY KEEP TALKING ABOUT IT! it’s nick getting assaulted by a vamp and getting turned, javier finding him and bringing him home to take care of him (debating if i want javier to be the side or the rando vamp who played around with his food) and i can’t remember if i shared this publicly but here’s what i got

———-

“Y-you look just like m-me…” Nick stammers, pointing a shaking finger towards the approaching shadow. His eyes widen even more when he notes how suddenly long his fingernails are, but they’re not unmanicured, rather perfectly curved into sharp, pointed daggers that seem to be pulling the skin off of his bones.

“He’s got a point there, Javi. What, are you makin’ a collection of us, or something, chico?” Jack grins, clapping a hand onto Javier’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, little buddy it’s okay…” Jack softens, gently pushing Javier aside and gliding towards Nick, wrapping him in his much thicker arms, puppeteering his heck into the crook of Jack’s neck so that his mouth is under the thick pumping vein. “Go on, Nicky, you’re still teething, so to speak…”

——

the parker football fic, honestly can’t remember? think it was gonna be based on the vibe from george’s this is us cameo with nick trying to get parker to do sports (except he won’t be so mean like the coach was) but i might just kinda work this in to first flight

——

He was never a fan of sports. Never really against them per se, but he just never really understood the appeal. Often when the extended family would get together for watch parties, he’d sulk off into another room and play video games.

Between the distaste for hunting and his apathy for the “thrill of the game,” some of his cousins wondered if Parker was even a Stokes at all.

——

skater boi is based on a biker!nick and skater!greg au that i got from an anon once (i think on the deleted blog??) don’t have any preview to share 😬 only have one line written, “Yo, Rick, let’s roll.”

the beast you made of me is this au where early season six nick gets abducted from his home and is held captive for maybe like. a year? by two hunters who hunt humans for sport (think like the most dangerous game) and they target nick and keep him cause he just won’t give up or die. nicks gonna be kept in a cage outside, his hair will grow out and by the time he escapes he’s gonna be like. feral. and this preview shows a little bit of that:

——

“Mine. My house.”

“Well you’re about to be evicted again, buddy. Though you can consider it an upgrade from the cardboard box you’re probably used to sleeping in.”

“Mine!” Nick roars, thrashing himself about, making it hard to keep a firm grip on him.

“Mitch!” the officer calls out for assistance, and the name seems familiar, as well as the face that comes dashing towards him.

“Mi-Mitch?” Nick stammers, and the last thing he sees before a dose of electricity shocks him into place is a hint of recognition in the tasing officer’s eyes.

——

and then the violence in the pouring rain is a nick/naomi (oc) fic, gonna kinda detail their first night together and juxtapose it against them on a beach having sexy times before they get caught in a hurricane. nicks gonna get hurt and naomi’s gonna keep talking to him, retelling their history and it will end with them renewing their vows to each other (their relationship is a bit rocky at the start, nick kinda marries her just cause he got her pregnant)

——

“Do you remember the night we met?”

He was more vulnerable than ever, stuck at the top of a triangle without a floor to catch him. Torn between an old love and a new love and wanting no love at all.

#mk.fic #nick stokes #i’ll tag all the fics later lmao #i’m about to board my flight home #thank god lol

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witchiswriting · 4 years ago

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A Not So Merry Christmas Chapter 3

Summary: Negan has some ugly revelations on his path

Warnings: Angst ( Lots of it), Mentions of Infidelity, Swearing, Mentions of death

Author’s Note: This chapter was pretty hard for me to write. I tried to explain everything about his past at once. And, you don’t know what it’s coming for you guys. Please don’t kill me after this chapter lmao

‘’What?’’ Negan slurred. That was the only thing that could come out from his mouth at the moment.

Shock surrounded his whole body. He literally had no idea where he was, or what fucking was The Sanctuary. The room was definitely his style, except for mounted animals. He’d never been a fan of dead animals on the walls. However, Lilith would fucking despise this room and that was the reason why he hadn’t furnished theirs with dark furniture.

He blinked several times before taking a full glance at the man who was standing before him. Funny enough, Negan knew the man very well. He was his childhood best friend Simon, they grew up together and Simon was a bartender in the same small town. Long story short, he died in a terrible car accident three years ago and naturally, Negan hasn’t seen the man since then, but at the very moment Simon was standing in front of him, very much alive and a stressful expression on his face.

''That’s odd'' Negan mused.

It was evident that Simon was tired and, maybe, little bit scared… It was strange, though, cause no matter how intimidating Negan was Simon was one of the few people who was never afraid of him. The others were Rick and Lilith but Negan quickly pushed the thought of them off his mind.

Simon cleared his throat, waiting for to find the right words. Negan hasn’t been himself since that horrific day but he did never forget where he was before. It was new and very much worrying for Simon.

‘’Negan, I know that you don’t wanna fucking remember or acknowledge what had happened a month ago, but you need to find a way to get yourself together. This place needs you.’’ Simon spoke with a soft, caring tone. He knows that his boss, best friend is hurting nevertheless, but, also he is very much needed. There's no way Simon could run The Sanctuary without Negan and, to be honest, he is worried for his friend’s mental health too. It isn’t like they could afford a psychologist these days.

Negan slowly got up from the bed without saying another word to Simon. He was wearing the grey sweatpants and white t-shirt he wore last night just before going to the bed in his own room.

He slowly moved the curtains aside and took a quick glance from window. The view had him shocked. There were lifeless, rotten corpses chained to the fence of the building and a few men with prisoner suits triying to tie them down.

Where the fuck was he? If this was a nightmare then it was, for sure the most horrific and unpleasant one.

‘’What the fuck are they doing?’’ Negan said with a loud voice. It wasn’t his intention to sound angry towards his friend but he couldn’t help it.

Simon was watching the same scenery from window. Though, unlike his friend, it was a pretty usual scene for him.

‘’You ordered for the remained Alexandrians to deal with the biters as a first thing in the morning, boss.’’ Simon shrugged his shoulders and explained like there was nothing wrong with it.

Negan furrowed his brows. His face was frowned. ‘’Biters?’’ He asked with a genuine confused voice.

Simon took a deep breath before his next words. He slowly put his hand on Negan’s shoulder as a supporting manner. ‘’Look, Negan. I know you’re suffering and I wish we could go back in time and make things right but, as you can fucking see, that’s not the case. Locking yourself in that mind of yours and trying to forget everything might have seemed a better choice but it’s not. You have to move on.’’ He was watching Negan with almost pitying eyes.

‘’Plus, Rick the Prick has started to be a pain in the ass. You need to take care of him, too.’’ Simon stated.

Rick? If he’s in this shit hole then, maybe he knows what the actual fuck is going on too.

Negan nodded towards his best friend, licking his lips. ‘’Okay. Fucking wait outside while I put on decent fucking clothes then.’’

Simon turned and left the room just like an obedient dog.

An inanimate object caught his eye. A barbed wired baseball bat is just standing beside his wardrobe. It had a few scratches on it, but other than that the bat looked fine and, well, deadly. Probably it’s a fucking weapon for dealing with the moving corpses.

As Negan went through the drawers he couldn’t help but think about the one person he needed at the moment.

Lilith… Maybe it was all her doing, since she was always talking about witchy stuff he hadn’t believed nor given a second thought. What if it was his punishment for breaking her heart?

‘’Bull-fucking-shit.’’ He muttered under his breath. Negan wasn’t an illogical person. Of course, he believed in things like religion, and he considered himself a believer. He wasn’t religious or something but he understood the religion, at least the logical parts of it.

I’m trying to rationalize this fucking hell hole with irrational things. He told himself.

But when he opened the drawer he met his very own clothes. Bunch of white shirts he loved so much and his one and only leather jacket, and lots of black shirts.

‘’You fucking kidding me?!’’ He roared with an uncontrollable anger. He was rubbing his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

He dressed hastily and got out of the room with heavy, rushed steps. His heart was pounding in his stomach.

Simon watched him with a concerned glance. Thinking about if he should inform him about the absence of his precious bat, probably he forgot to take it and considering his commitment to the object, he decided to tell Negan.

‘’Boss, I see you’re pretty preoccupied today. You left Lucille in the room.’’ Simon said in a humoristic way. Trying to hide his worries with a reassuring smile.

WHAT THE FUCK FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK?

Negan’s face fell instantly. He felt the blood in his veins going cold. His already pale and tired face became paler in seconds. He could feel the wave of nausea washing him.

‘’What the fuck did you just say?’’ He tried to sound firm but failed miserably. He could barely speak and his voice was shaky.

Simon was shocked. His friend had never spent a day without Lucille by his side, but, apparently the latest events had Negan shook more than Simon had cared to admit. So, he took a deep breath and decided to drop asking about the famous bat. ‘’Let’s get you something to eat first, then we’ll take care of everything else.’’ He put his hand on Negan’s shoulder with a soothing manner.

As they started to walk in long, dim hallway Negan tried to convince himself that this wasn’t happening for real, it was just a dream, a fucking trick of his drunk mind, but, unfortunately he couldn’t bring himself to believe that the place wasn’t real.

He meant to ask Simon what was going on and what he fucking exactly meant by ‘’Lucille’’, but he was already feeling so goddamn tired, and he shouldn't scare Simon if he wants to get out of this place.

‘’You’re quiet, boss. Care to share your thoughts?’’ Simon interrupted in an attempt to collect the attention of Negan.

Negan closed his eyes for a second and tried to sound normal to his death but somehow alive friend. If he wanted to know about where he fucking was then he had to play by the rules.

‘’So many things but I’m just feeling fucking tired and goddamn hungry, y’know.’’ He dropped the words with an uninterested tone.

As two men walked towards the stairs they passed by a grand wooden doored room. The door was open, so, Negan forced himself to look the other way. He didn’t want to come face to face with anybody else, especially if the person was someone he knew. He didn’t know if he could take it. What if Lilith was in there? But, he caught glimpse of an enormous crystal chandelier and shiny shelves filled with alcohol.

Despite his efforts to avoid the parlor a petite, feminine form slightly moved and caught his attention.

‘’Negan?’’ A soft, almost afraid feminine voice was heard in the empty hallway.

When Negan turned around he couldn’t recognize the blonde immediately but felt a strange familiarity.

I’M IN FUCKING HELL.

The blonde was twirling with her long hair. She had a concerned expression on her pretty face. Her baby blue eyes were wide with curiosity and hesitation.

Negan tried to remember the blonde’s name. It had to be something like Amanda or Amber.

Amber… She was one of the women Negan had cheated on Lucille with. He met her during one of his team’s matches. She was the sister of one of his students, and he fucked her in that particular evening on the benches. They had fooled around for a few times but she had become clingy over time and made herself believe in stuff like he was going to left Lucille for her. So, he had put her away like the trinkot she was and looked ahead for his fair share of women.

Negan’s throat was closing up. He could feel his stomach dropping and cold sweat was running down from his back. If hell is real then it is this exact place.

‘You’ve been avoiding us for a month… I wanted to know if you’re okay, y’know, if we can help.’’ She said with the same calm and hopeful tone Negan had known back then.

We? What the fuck is we?

Without thinking Negan walked towards to the parlor and felt a delicious horror with what he has just seen.

Four women, clad in black dress and high heels, looking pretty with their makeup on. And, unfortunately, Negan knew every one of them very well. He had forgotten their names in time but couldn’t forget their faces. He hated them with every cell in his body and they made him hate himself even more. They were the cruel evidence what he had done to the two women he had loved so dearly.

Sherry,

She was the first woman he had cheated on Lucille with. They were neighbors. Sherry lived in the house across from Negan’s, and she was married but, of course, it didn’t stop him. They had an affair going on for at least two or three months.

She had always find Negan attractive and when she came to him he couldn’t find the strength to say no to her. They ended the affair when her husband, Dwight found out.

Tanya, she was a simple lay. Negan met her in a restaurant. She was working as a waitress there and looking forward for a one night stand. He was supposed to book that restaurant for Lucille’s birthday but when he saw the deep V neck blouse Tanya was wearing he immediately forgot about his wife, as always, and took her to the first motel he could find.

They fucked roughly that night and Negan went back to home, to find out that his Lucille had cancer.

And, the redhead, Frankie. He didn’t have to force his mind to remember the details with her cause what had happened with her was recent. She was the first and last woman he cheated on Lilith with.

When he asked Lilith to move in with him she didn’t say yes immediately, like he had imagined. So, they got into a meaningless stupid fight because of his insecurities and he hit the bar that night. Determined to get drunk like an ass but, what he hadn’t planned was fucking the redhead who was giving him come and fuck me eyes for whole night.

He ended up fucking her there and then in the small bar toilet and couldn’t shake the fact that he wasn’t fully drunk while he was fucking her against the wall, making her scream his name over and over. He got mad at Lilith and tried to get revenge on her…

When he came to his senses he was already at his own home, looking at the caller ID of Lilith. Thinking about calling her and telling what he'd done that night but he couldn’t bring himself to do it because he knew that Lilith would never forgive him. She’d leave him in the blink of an eye and never look back.

He wasn’t strong enough to live without her, at least that was what he thought, he had no idea what guilt was gonna make him do back then and he passed out on his couch. Tears on the corners of his eyes and vomit on his lips.

Negan was looking at them but wasn’t able to understand what they were saying to him. All the four women’s mouths were moving but he couldn’t hear them. His ears were pounding so hard that for a moment, he thought he was going to black out. Oh, how that was the only thing he wanted at the moment.

What did him bring back to reality was Sherry’s sickening touch. She was shaking his shoulders gently, trying to tell him something.

‘’Negan, we’re your wives. You can’t neglect us like that.’’ Sherry stated with an unpleasant tone.

‘’GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!’’ Negan roared. His throat was one fire. He was pretty sure that he damaged his vocal cords.

‘’I’m fucking done with you. Get the fuck out. I don’t wanna see any fucking of you ever a-fucking-gain. Get out of my fucking sight before I fucking kill you!’’ He yelled like an animal. His saliva was on the corners of his mouth.

‘’D-do you want me to give you a m-massage? Don’t mind Sherry. I-if you’d like, of course.’’ Frankie asked with a scared voice from the place she was sitting. She was fumbling with her fingers, afraid.

‘’You! Especially you! If you say one fucking more word I’m going to fucking chain you to the fence. Get the fuck out before I come fucking back.’’ Negan yelled the last time and got out of the room, never looking back.

Simon was sweating while trying to catch up with Negan. He hadn’t seen his friend that angry since the day he had slaughtered all of the other communities.

‘’Simon!’’ Negan barked. His hazel colored eyes were almost dark with danger. He was fuming like an animal.

‘’Yes, boss.’’ Simon tried to sound obedient , finally catching up with Negan’s faster than lightning steps.

‘’I want them fucking gone by the end of the day. Do you fucking understand me? I don’t wanna fucking see any of them. If they wouldn’t be gone until tonight, then you’ll be the one to take their punishments. Am I fucking clear?’’ Negan hinted with a dangerous voice.

‘’Yes, sir, boss. Don’t worry.’’ That was the exact thing Simon was afraid of. Having to deal with his wives. They were all bitchy and spoiled. He didn’t know how to remove them from The Sanctuary, but he had to find a way if he wants to live.

Finally, they got to the first floor and Negan found himself in a pool of people. They were clothed badly and he couldn’t say they were living under hygienic circumstances either.

When people realized Negan was there they got on their knees immediately. However, Negan wasn’t in a state to understand why they were kneeling so he began to wander around in hopes to get something to eat and maybe find another familiar face, though, he wasn’t sure if seeing one more person from his prior life is gonna make him feel good.

Simon cleared his throat as an attempt to warn Negan. ‘’Ugh, boss, you need to…’’ He showed the still kneeling people.

He furrowed his brows. He had to tell them to stand up? ‘’Alright, okay. Stand the fuck up. I don’t have whole fucking day.’’

As people stood up the whispers started immediately. All of them were shocked with Negan’s attitude. Sure, he hasn’t been himself lately but he’d never forgotten to tell them ‘’As you were.’’

‘’Umm, boss.’’ Simon nudged Negan’s arm with his elbow. ‘’You always say as you were when you’re ordering people to stand up, but I guess, you’re pretty tired today.’’ Simon said as if people kneeling before Negan wasn’t something important.

Am I a fucking cult leader? Lilith, if it’s your doing then you’re fucking right. I deserve all of this shit.

His hunger and the abominable morning he was having made Negan’s whole body ache. Sure, he also wanted to cry and crash every fucking thing he could find but he, also, wasn’t sure if his mental state and body could take it.

Suddenly, his eyes caught a glimpse of brownish red locks. The woman’s back was turned and she was wearing a pastel pink flannel. For a moment, he thought about the woman who was occupying his mind, his heart and his whole being but he quickly realized that the woman wasn’t the one he was looking for.

Jane… Lilith’s mother. She was having a chit chat with an older lady. She sounded nice but it didn’t take a genius to figure out that she wasn’t happy. Instead, her sadness was dripping on her face. Her bright blue eyes were absent from their usual joy. They were full with a grey melancholy.

Jane was quick to realize that someone was watching her, and that someone was the only person she hated with every fiber in her body.

She abruptly stopped her chit chat with the older lady and turned to Negan. If looks could kill Negan would have been dead by now. Jane was practically throwing daggers at him with her intense glare.

‘’How dare you? How dare you are standing there, living your life after what you’ve done?! Have you no fucking shame? How could you continue to fuck your wives after… a-after.’’ She let out a sob, couldn’t finish her sentence.

The whispers had stopped. All of the people were in silence and shock. They stood there, watching the scene unfold before them.

Negan was stunned. He couldn’t keep himself from thinking that what he had done to Lilith this time… How badly did he hurt her? And wives? He couldn’t touch any other women after that disgusting night full of regret and guilt.

Jane took a deep breath and let the words out from her trembling lips. Her face was shiny from the tears she couldn’t stop. ‘’I fucking hate you. You’d better watch out, Negan.’’ She said his name like it’s a disease.

‘’When I have the chance, and I swear to god, I will. I’m going to fucking kill you. I’m going to fucking bleed you ‘till you go fucking numb and then I’ll kill you. You fucking monster.’’ Jane spit on the ground before turning back and going back to her work.

Negan could feel his heart is squeezing so badly. He immediately left the building and found himself in the yard of The Sanctuary.

He was sweaty and feeling dizzy. Bending, he couldn’t keep it together anymore and threw up his empty stomach, only bile coming out from his mouth.

When he straightened up he found Simon beside him.

He was standing there, unsure of what to do. Negan was being hard on himself and according to Simon’s experiences the day has triggered a panic attack for his boss.

Negan finally caught his breath. His face was dreading colour but he forced himself to be strong. At least, he had to know about Lilith. He had to find her and make this right.

What if he cheated on her with those five women and she saw it, or she was pregnant and she lost it because of him being such a dickhead. Maybe, she was with someone else, trying to be happy and forget him.

To be honest, Negan would be miserable and sad for the rest of his life if Lilith is moved on and happy with someone else, but that was the only thing she had deserved from the beginning. A healthy relationship with a person who loves her and makes her feel loved.

So, Negan took a deep breath and braced himself for what was coming, and asked the inevitable question.

‘’Simon, where is Lilith?’’ His voice was filled with exhaustion, fear and a little bit hope.

Simon didn’t know how to answer this question. He could mince the words and gain some time or left his question unanswered but this would be the cruelest thing for Negan.

In Simon’s mind Negan already knew the answer but apparently didn’t want to face it, so his mind had deleted the truth or hided in somewhere.

Therefore, he decided not to sugar coat his answer or delay the unbearable ugly truth. So, he let the words out without giving a second thought about it.

‘’Negan, Lilith is dead.’’

Tag List:

@buttercandy16

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan #negan x reader #negan x oc #negan angst #negan smut #negan x lilith #a not so merry christmas #story: a not so merry christmas #the walking dead #twd #the walking dead fanfiction #negan imagine #negan fanfiction #jdm #negan fluff #negan x lucille #negan's wives

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chaoticbi-cheesecake · 4 years ago

Text

Movie Nights and Pillow Forts. (Hournite)

Summary: The team has a movie night and Beth and Rick share a pillow fort.

Warning: None

Categorie: Fluff

Read notes at the end.

The week had been hectic for the new JSA, fourteen tests collectively, a fitness gram in Beth's gym class, six late assignments for Rick, and sleep deprived Courtney and Yolanda were not having any good times. And that's not even mentioning the ISA and their mysterious plans.

Pat tried to take it easy on them during training, his parental instincts telling him something was wrong.

As they walked into Pit Stop for their training session on Friday, they found the training room to be void of equipment. No half made puppets of the ISA, no punching bags or targets to aim at.

The team gave Pat a questioning look and he explained himself.

"We're gonna try something different. You guys have had a hard week and over exerting yourselves isn't helping anyone out in the long run. So you're gonna take it easy for today."

"Thanks dad," Yolanda and Rick joked.

"So what are we going to do?" Courtney questioned.

"Just some easy team building excercises. You all have to feel just as comfortable being together as you do being apart."

"We do," Beth defended brightly, but shrunk at how everyone stared at her. "at least, I do."

"Yeah, no thanks. Team building excercises? This isn't summer camp and I'm not three." Rick stated.

"Be nice, Pat's just trying to help." Beth chided.

Rick rolled his eyes but complied.

"So what did you have in mind?" Yolanda requested.

"Well, just something easy, hopefully that you'll find fun. Get you guys a little de-stressd."

"Pillow forts!" Beth exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, what?" Rick turned to her.

"Pillow Forts. I never had any friends to make pillow forts or have sleepovers with, but they always seemed super fun to make." she explained brightly, not even realizing the sadness in that statement.

Rick's heart hurt at the underlying weight of the words she didn't even realize was there. He understood what it was like to feel alone. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand but he didn't.

Courtney smiled at the girl and said, "I think that's a great idea, we could build them together as a team-"

"And Chuck could project a movie while we're inside. We could totally have a sleepover." Beth proposed.

"And where are going to get pillows to make the forts, this is a car shop not a mattress firm." Yolanda brought up.

"Pat can go home and get stuff." Courtney offered.

The team looked to Pat, the girls had pleading eyes and Rick looked plain uninterested.

"I don't see why not." Pat said.

Smiles took over the girls' faces and Courtney highfived her friends.

"Ooh, and I could get snacks from my house. Just get on comms and tell me what you guys want." Beth offered. "Of course, if you're willing to drop me off, Mr. Dugan." she said sheepishly.

"Sure, kiddo."

"Yay!"

"Okay, well, let's get going. Court, I'll tell your mom you're staying over at a friend's house, the rest of you call your parents and let them know you'll be out."

"It's fine, my parents probably won't even notice I'm gone." Yolanda grumbled bitterly.

"Same here," Beth chided. "They work at night a lot now that I'm older."

Rick stayed silent, wondering if his uncle would come home at all that night. Not that he'd bother to check on the boy.

"Okay, well be back soon," Beth smiled, grabbing her goggles our of her bag and running out the door to catch up with Pat who had already gone outside.

The three teens stood in silence for a bit before Courtney and Yolanda started looking for good spots to set up their fort.

"Don't forget comms," Courtney reminded before turning hers on.

Yolanda and Rick followed her example and were met with Beth's voice.

"Alright, we're almost at my house, what movie were you guys thinking of watching?"

"Umm, we're not really sure, what can Chuck play?" Courtney replied.

"He can do anything really, oh wait, okay, anything but badly done historical drama or science fiction. He prefers something more accurate."

"But isn't the entire point of both those genes the fact that they're dramatic and fictional?" Rick queried.

"Chuck says some stuff just goes too off the charts. It's more the inaccuracy that irks him. What about something from the 80's, that's always fun. Maybe something like The Breakfast Club, or Heathers." she proposed.

"Nah, not Heathers. That Kurt guy was a real asshole." Rick chided.

Courtney and Yolanda turned to him in confusion, surprised he knew anything about the dark teen drama.

Rick simply shrugged his shoulders.

"Okay, we're at my house, gimme a minute while I look for my keys. Be right back." Beth said before their connection cut out.

"Kurt was an asshole?" Yolanda prodded

"What?" Rick defended. "Beth told me a bit about the movie."

Courtney snickered.

"You shouldn't say profanities around Beth. It would be a shame if her Prince Charming was a bad influence."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rick interrogated

"Nothing," Courtney shrugged before giving Yolanda a knowing look.

"What?" Rick pushed.

The girls only shook their heads. He was about to say something else when Beth came back online.

"Hey guys, sorry, I kept dropping my keys. What do you guys feel like. There's a ton of chips. And some chocolates. Ooh, I found a huge bag of candy from Halloween. It's still closed!"

"Uh-" Courtney was interrupted.

"Popcorn is a must." Beth added before the sound of something being placed in a bag took over the coms.

"Are you just taking everything?" Yolanda asked.

"Pretty much, yeah." Beth confirmed. "And Pat shouldn't be back for another fifteen minutes so I should have time to grab some pajamas."

"Oh, that's smart. We're just going to be sleeping in our school clothes." Courtney stated.

"Actually, I have some clean gym clothes in my bag, a few shirts and a couple pairs of shorts. You can borrow some." Yolanda supplied.

"What about you, Rick?" Beth spoke.

"It's fine."

"No, come on, we're all gonna have something to wear. I'm sure I can find something, or maybe Pat can get you some clothes."

"It's okay, really."

"Nope, too late, I already have clothes for us."

"How are you so fast?" Courtney wondered aloud.

"I'm magical." Beth joked.

Rick almost said 'yes, you are.' But pushed that thought down to the furthest reaches of his soul.

"Maybe something scary?" Yolanda said.

"I'm not a huge fan of scary movies." Beth replied.

"What about a rom-com?" Courtney offered

"No way." Rick opposed.

"How about Twilight." Courtney said.

"No!" Rick and Yolanda exclaimed in unison.

"Harry Potter?"

"We don't stan JK these days." Beth expressed, earning a nod from Yolanda.

"How about a mystery movie?" Rick proposed for the first time.

"I'm unopposed." Yolanda declared.

"Me too," Courtney agreed.

"Okay, I'll if there's any mysteries Chuck reccomends. He says he likes Clue." Beth provided.

"Sounds good." Courtney replied

"Yeah, sure." Yolanda answered.

" M'kay," Rick added.

"I'll be back, I need to get the rest of my stuff."

"Rest of your stuff," Courtney began. "I thought you had everything, what else are you-"

"Bye guys!"

"-getting?"

Courtney quickly shrugged it off before guiding Yolanda to once again look for a place to set up their pillow fort.

Rick leaned against the table behind him until Pat and Beth got back a bit later.

The short girl came in wheeling a suitcase behind her.

"What do you have in there?" Yolanda was first to question.

"Food, clothes, nail polish, some toiletries, pillows, blankets. Just the basics."

"Isn't Pat already bringing blankets? That might be too many."

"We're making pillow forts, is there ever such a thing as too many blankets?"

"That's fair." Courtney input.

Pat came in, sliding a cardboard box against the floor.

"These are some covers we never unpacked and I have pillows in the car." The man announced.

"This is going to be so much fun." Beth proclaimed, opening her suitcase and pulling out five blankets. Two pillows that had been shoved inside sprung out and we're grabbed by the girl. "So, where are we making these?"

"Court and I decided we'd have a place over here," Yolanda pointed to a corner below the stairs. "And we would tie some of the blankets up and let them hang down and then we could space the sides out with the stools."

"Nice," Beth complimented. "How about you Rick?"

"Umm...I don't really know how to make a pillow fort." He stated plainly.

"Oh, that's okay, I can help you. I read up on it during the ride back."

Rick nodded his head curtly before standing up straight and allowing the girl in front of him to lead the way.

With arms crossed over his chest, the boy listened intently to Beth as she rattled on about all the different ways and places they could put up the fort. He felt strangely giddy at the amount of excitement in the girls voice.

The two settled on a spot next to Courtney and Yolanda, choosing a similar approach to the construction of the fort. Beth ran up the metal stairs and instructed Rick to toss up a blanket. She tied two of the ends around the rails of the walkway and repeated the steps until the fort had four 'walls'.

Beth ran down to Rick, who was tossing pillows inside the fort, taking an excited look at their creation.

"And for some added structure," the girl grabbed two foldable chairs from across the room, dragging them to the fort, placing them inside. She moved one back until it, and the fabric covering it, met Courtney and Yolanda's stool. She then moved the other side approximately the same distance on the side parallel.

Beth emerged from the fort all smiles. Rick embraced the slight smile that made it's way onto his face when he saw her ecstatic expression. She raised her hand to highfive him which he awkwardly returned.

Pat had sat watching the kids build their forts, happy that they were having fun, but stood when he realized it was getting dark.

"Okay, I'm gonna head home. Please, keep everything in one piece. And Court," Pat gave the blonde a pointed look, " the staff comes home with me."

"What?" Courtney, who had built her fort with the help of the staff, asked caught off guard

"Yes. I'm going home and it needs to come with me. It had to go back in its box for the night. I'm glad the two of you..." he struggled to find a word," bonded. But it needs to go back home."

"But Pat," Courtney groaned.

"No 'but pat's, it needs to go back home." he stated softly.

Courtney looked at the glowing stick that levitates next to her. She pouted, but moved her head in Pat's direction, signaling the staff to go with him.

"See you tomorrow," she told it.

"There's a mini fridge and a microwave in my office. Remember, one piece. Night kids, have fun." Pat chided as he walked out the door.

"Goodnight Mr. Dugan." Beth called.

When he drove off, the teens sat in silence before Beth spoke up.

"I'm gonna go heat up some popcorn. There's snacks in my bag and Rick, I brought some clothes for you to change into."

"Thanks." he said as she tossed a large t-shirt and pair of pajama pants in his direction.

Beth went into Pat's office to make to popcorn as Courtney and Yolanda settled into their pillow filled heaven, wrapping themselves in blankets and waiting for Beth to get the movie started.

Rick went in his fort and decided he might as well change into the clothes he was given.

He had just reached for the t-shirt when he heard the fabric pulled back.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." Beth cried and turned away when she saw Rick was shirtless.

"It's, fine, what's up?" he asked masking his blush by pulling the shirt over his head.

"Um," Beth flushed. "I was just wondering if you wanted any popcorn. She said shaking the bag in her hand.

"No, I'm good, thanks though."

She simply nodded before uttering,

"Chuck's gonna start the movie soon."

"Kay."

Beth shuffled off to give the girls popcorn. Entering the tent she was greeted by Courtney and Yolanda saying, "Hey," in unison.

"I have popcorn." Beth sang.

"Ooh, yay." Courtney praised.

"Give," Yolanda said, making a grabbing motion with her hand and smiling happily.

Beth gladly complied, handing the bag over to the girls.

"I'm gonna get Chuck to start up the movie. Don't eat all the popcorn without me, I'll be right back."

The two girls nodded, grinning, and opened the popcorn.

Beth left the fort and got her goggles, placing them over her eyes.

"Ready Chuck?"

"Indeed."

"This is going to be great!"

Beth took off the goggles and pointed them at the wall across from her, gently placing the goggles on the floor as the opening credits began projecting on the wall.

She rushed back to the girls' fort and stepped inside to see Courtney trying to throw popcorn into Yolanda's mouth.

"Okay, it's on." Beth announced, loud enough for Rick to hear as well.

The girls moved closer to the opening of the fort and peeled back the opening to watch the movie.

They watched lazily, sometimes shifting to find a better way of sitting. Courtney and Yolanda carried on their own conversation as Beth painted Courtney's nails listening to the movie in the background.

As the girls waited for their nails to dry spoke to eachother lowly as to not disturb Rick next to them.

Beth lightly tapped her nails to see if they were dry and Courtney and Yolanda shared a teasing look.

"Do you think he's lonely over there?" Yolanda asked Courtney, just loud enough for Beth to hear.

"I'm sure he's fine." Courtney continued

"I don't know, maybe someone should check on him?"

The two turned to Beth with a knowing look.

"I'll do it," she offered immediately. "Yeah, it's not right for him to be all alone."

She rose from her position and stepped over pillows to leave the fort. She quietly walked over to his fort, hearing Courtney and Yolanda's quiet giggles behind her.

The front Rick's fort was a little open. Beth walked to the side and pulled the blanket back.

"Knock, knock." Beth spoke

"Hey," he greeted.

"I thought you may be lonely. Well, Court and Yolanda thought, but I wanted to see if you needed company. So I can stay. Only if you want me to of course." she rambled.

"Yeah, sure." Rick responded softly, scooting over and patting the spot next to him. She gladly entered and took her place next to him.

Her legs were crisscrossed and she twiddled her fingers, appreciating the glittery polish on her nails.

Rick turned to her, a smirk on his face.

"Thanks for making this with me," he gestured to the fort around them. "It was...surprisingly fun."

"Told you." Beth gloated, bumping her shoulder to his.

"Yeah, you did." Rick said under his breath as he gazed at her. He admired her eyes, the way the light reflected off of them. Rick inhaled sharply before taking a leap of faith.

He draped his arm across her shoulders to test the waters.

She quickly moved closer and laid her head on his chest. A wide smile graced his face, she didn't notice though, focusing all her energy to prevent the blood rushing to her face. She failed.

They stayed in that position until the movie ended.

Rick was half asleep by the time the credits finished rolling. He was snapped awake by Beth moving from her position and making a move to leave the fort.

"Where are you going?" He whispered.

"I'm gonna change then go to sleep in the girls' tent. And of course say goodnight to Chuck."

"Oh," he responded, trying not to let his disappointment peek through. "Okay. Goodnight."

"Night." she smiled and left the fort.

Rick frowned but perked up just a bit when her heard Beth's sweet voice say goodnight to the goggles. He thought it was adorable how much she cared about the AI in those goggles.

He layed back and tried to fall asleep but soon realized it was much more difficult when Beth wasn't in close proximity. He ran his fingers through his hair frustratedly and tried to build up enough courage to just ask Beth to stay with him that night.

But he quickly found he didn't have to. As if the universe heard him, he saw Beth cautiously lift up the opening of his fort.

She looked sheepish as she met his eyes.

"Courtney and Yolanda are hogging all the space inside. Would it be alright if I could, maybe, stay here. It's up to you." she questioned quickly.

Rick nodded his head as apathetically as he could, when on the inside he was absolutely thrilled.

Beth slowly stepped into their fort. Rick made note of the oversized black t-shirt she wore that fell over her light green pajama pants.

She layed down facing the opposite direction as he did, but bot could still feel the body heat radiating off the back of the other.

"You know the reason Court and Yolanda sent you over here was probably so they could have the tent all to themselves." Rick stated.

Beth thought about it for a minute before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank goodness. I was worried they were getting tired of me. Phew."

"Why would they get tired of you?"

"Everyone does at some point. Even if it's just for a little bit."

"Hey," Rick said darkly. "I'm never gonna get tired of you. Ever. Not even for a little bit. You understand?" He asked with a seriousness yet softness she didn't see often.

She nodded her head, hoping he could understand the gesture even if he wasn't looking at her.

Beth moved back until she made contact with Rick. Their backs were pressed up against eachother and they both found comfort in the warmth of the other.

Beth lay frozen, worried about if Rick was okay with the contact, but her worries were soon relieved when she felt Rick's hand reach for hers.

They interlocked their fingers, still not looking at one another, before they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

...

Rick woke up to light streaming through the covers of the fort and the sound of giggling.

He looked to the source of the noise to see Beth and Yolanda holding the blankets open.

"What?" He asked groggily.

They only giggled more.

That's when he registered the weight that covered half his body. Beth was practically on top of him, her face snuggled in his chest.

Rick's eyes widened and his system was shocked awake. He heard Courtney smack her hand over her mouth to muffled her laugh at the sight of the boy.

"Pat's going to be here in half an hour. We need to take everything down." Yolanda supplied.

Rick nodded his head tiredly and the girls walked away, letting the blankets drop behind them.

Rick gazed down at Beth, angry with himself for liking their position so much. He groaned internally as he tried figuring out how to wake Beth up.

He gently tried to move her off of him, laying her just beside him.

"Beth, you have to wake up." He tried softly, lightly shaking her shoulder.

She groaned, but complied, blinking several times.

"Pat's gonna be here soon, we have to start taking everything down."

Beth frowned.

"But it's Saturday, can't we just stay here for a few more...hours?" She proposed.

Rick chuckled softly at her question but shook his head.

"It's already light out, my uncle probably knows I'm gone." the boy grimaced.

"I wish you could just live with one of us."

"Yeah me too," he whispered.

Beth propped herself up before crawling out of their fort.

Rick followed and saw she was heading up the stairs to untie to blankets. He saw the pout on her face as she undid the knots and watched the sheets fall to the floor.

"You know, maybe we can do this again sometime?" Rick called up, smiling when he saw Beth perk up.

The team worked together to undo everything and neatly organize their pillows and blankets. They all decided to change back into their clothes from the day before, Courtney and Rick returned their borrowed clothes.

Rick helped Beth stuff everything back into her suitcase and they finished just as Pat arrived.

"Hey guys, how was your night, good I hope?" he questioned.

"We had a really great time," Courtney confirmed. "Thanks for coming up with the idea, Beth."

"No problem, I always wanted to do something like this." the girl smiled.

"You guys ready to go?" Pat asked.

"Yeah, we're all set." Yolanda said.

Beth just nodded happily.

"Help me get everything in the back." the man directed.

Once everything was done, the girls began piling into the car.

"Rick, you coming?" Courtney asked.

"Oh, nah, I'm just going to walk home."

"You sure kid," Pat verified.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Aw, okay, talk to you later Rick," Beth came over and gave him a quick hug before retreating into the car.

Pat drove off and Rick waved goodbye to the girls.

The boy turned and made his way home. As he walked, he thought of his interactions with Beth. He couldn't explain the flutter in his stomach when he saw her excited, or how naturally comfortable he felt by her side.

One thing he did know though, was that Beth made him happy. They could do anything from sitting in silence at lunch, to fighting crime, to sleeping in a pillow fort.

One thing was certain, Beth Chapel was a wonder, and Rick was all there for it.

The End.

Okay, that was my second hournite fic, i hope you liked it. I'm super lazy so i didn't edit it, so if there are any errors please let me know. I'm not sure if anyone picked up on the reference I made when Rick said Kurt Kelly was and a-hole. For those who didn't know, Cameron Gellman played Kurt Kelly in a television adaptation of Heather. I just thought it was something funny to throw in there. If you have and comments or criticisms, let me know in the comments. I sound like a YouTuber, lol. I hope everyone has a great day and if anyone has any prompts they'd like to see, let me know. That's all for today💕💕

Sincerely, Tessa.

#beth chapel #hournite #rick tyler #stargirl #stargirl 2020 #yolanda montez #jsa #cw stargirl #dcu stargirl #Rick×Beth #give my babies all the happiness in the world #Beth Chapel #Rick Tyler #HourNite #implied! WildStar

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sapphicambitions · 5 years ago

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like when I say I think Luke Castellan is gay I don’t mean it as a cutesy “don’t u wish ur fave was gay” kind of way I mean textually and seriously I believe he was gay.

I could cite the petty stuff like “he only had female friends growing up” and “he clearly never showed interest in women even though many women were interested in him” or “he is one of the few people in the series who didn’t actually have a serious love interest / partner” or whatever but i feel like it’s actually much deeper than that. Luke was a young person who had a difficult and strained relationship with his parents. He saw how flawed the system was and how it was treating people like him, and sought to change the system, give power to people like him, and start it all over. (Yeah, he fell victim to people who influenced him to the dark side but that had nothing to do with his gayness, imo.) He just reminds me a lot of characters like Nico and Catra from She-Ra: repressed gay with a strained relationship with parental figures, angry and willing to take down the world. In this essay I will-

.......like no but seriously

Luke had a very troubled childhood because of his mother’s damaged mind, and the fact that she was constantly having fits and telling him how terrible things were going to be for him. When Luke is (angrily) describing his childhood to Hermes he says: “You could’ve helped me when she was having one of her fits, shaking me and saying crazy things about my fate. When I used to hide in the closet so she wouldn’t find me with those glowing eyes,” like!!! he even mentions hiding in a closet (let me find the subtext where i want it) but seriously, you know what’s one of the first things my mother said to me when I came out to her? “You know how much harder your life is going to be, don’t you?” So then Luke ran away from his home and found a new family, one that looked out for each other and loved each other more than their blood family ever did. This is a queer narrative!!

And with Hermes, it was all sorts of fucked up. His father kept him at a distance. Made Luke feel like there was something wrong with him, like he didn’t love him. His dad made it very clear to him what his expectations were of him, tried to encourage him to be a great hero, like all the heroes before him (when he was talking to him about sending him on a quest and Hermes said “You will get a change to be a great hero before…”) but Luke didn’t want to be the person his father expected him to be. He wanted to be something new, something true to himself. Luke was always burdened down with the weight of his parent’s expectations, both the expectation that he should strive to be a perfect hero and the knowledge that his future was doomed.

So one time i was at a bar with friends and me and the only other queer person there were talking and he was like “gay men and their dads, you know what i mean?” and I was like “yeah also gay women and their moms” and we had a whole discussion about growing up with a certain set of expectations of who you’ll be from your parents and the gendered expectations they have for you and having to crush all of that when you come out to them and navigating the difficulties that come with that when you want to be your own person so like there’s your real world comparison / evidence for that argument

ALSO Luke ran away from home but then kind of immediately went to Camp Half-Blood where he was shoved into the Hermes cabin with all of his siblings and undetermined kids and then still expected to scrape part of his food in the fire and be thankful to his deadbeat dad. That would suck! He was already harboring all of this rage inside of him, and then he went on his quest. Saw the world. Was exposed to other schools of thought. He understood that he was just being used as a pawn. He came back a different person, he didn’t quite fit in at camp anymore now that he’d seen the world. Kind of like when I went off to be gay at college and then came back to my childhood home and had to be straight around all my high school friends. just saying.

Luke saw the flaws in the system, the way the gods ruled the world. The way the gods treated their children and how much it hurt them. He felt so betrayed and hurt and abandoned by his dad and all the gods, so instead of sitting with it, he thought “I can do better.” Luke sought to rebuild the world, scrap it all and start new. Start with new leaders who took better care of everyone, who did things completely differently than the way it was done before, and raze anything before it. We’re going to ignore the fact that he was influenced to the dark side for a moment because it’s not related to this essay, but I also feel like this is a very queer narrative. (how many times can i say that phrase in this essay) Seeing the flaws in the way the world is treating people like you and wanting to do better. Luke said (this not an actual book quote more of a dramatic sentiment): “I won’t be used and I won’t be who you want me to be. I will become my own person and there’s nothing you can fucking do to stop me. I will make a new world, better than before, without you, for people like me, and I will tear down the walls of the previous world if I fucking have to” and i just think that’s very gay rights of him.

A thing that I’m a big fan of is seeing specific character types and relating them to each other. For example: our fave Nico di Angelo and Catra from She-Ra. (If you haven’t seen She-Ra, she’s the DEFINITION of an angry repressing gay) We can see from Nico’s narrative and from Catra’s narrative and also just straight up my own personal narrative that sometimes when you’re gay and repressing and afraid of becoming the person you are warned against, while also knowing that you were meant for more but maybe not quite understanding what that more is yet, and overall just want to feel accepted and loved as who you truly are but not receiving that, it can tend to make one lash out in angry and irresponsible ways. It can make one isolate themselves from those they previously were close to. It can lead to irrational and impulsive choices for all the wrong reasons because you don’t feel right and you don’t know why. Not at all saying this is the same across the board for queer people, it’s just something that honestly happens to some people and I can relate to when i see it in characters.

I see that in Luke. He is weighed down by everything his parents want him to be, both good and bad, and is trying to scrap the world and make a new one for people like him. He wants to take his turn, pushing aside anyone who’s hurt him. Luke was someone who was constantly being torn apart by the world and just wanted to feel safe and secure in who he was and the world he was in. He was acting in anger and fear and hurt and revenge for his childhood and because he still felt like there wasn’t a place in the world for him. He lashed out against his father and his family and his friends and pushed them all away. Sure, he had some friends at Camp Half-Blood, but Annabeth’s devotion to him was not enough to make up for like, all of his childhood trauma. First everything with his mom and then being on the run for so long and then meeting his dad and then losing Thalia (which also fueled his anger and hatred of the gods but like we knew that) and his quest and just everything. He was dealt a cruel hand and he didn’t handle it well. Not that that has anything to do with him being gay but I’m just lamenting over the tragedy of his life. Anyway.

Also not to quote the Lighting Thief because it’s not technically in Rick’s canon but i still think they perfectly understood the characters so I’m including it, but the idea that Luke has tried to be a good kid, he’s tried to do what was expected of him, he’s done everything they ever asked of him, but it didn’t pay off. It didn’t matter. It still wasn’t a world he belonged in. “you know this world will never be ours as long as our parents rule over the stars” and “it’s time to make the world our own” strikes me very much to the tune of LGBT activism. once again ringing in that idea of “if you won’t make the world better than i will do it with my bare hands” he also sings “the gods were never on our side, so i think it’s time we watched them fall” which gets to me every time because like he was just a kid! he was just a kid who had so much hurt and anger inside of him and he went about everything the wrong way but he was just a fucking kid!

also YES to be petty and shallow but while Annabeth and Thalia refer to luke romantically, he never mentioned the same for him. Kelli the sexy monster hits on him during Battle of the Labyrinth and was clearly interested in him and he pushes her away without any hesitation. IN FACT the only demigods referenced on Luke’s ship are Chris and Ethan (why we didn’t see any of that trio, I’ll never understand), with Ethan working much closer with Luke and being a major player in the Titan War. (also I think Ethan is queer too but that’s a battle for another day.) And Rick LOVES romances. pretty much every character gets paired up with someone in the original series (percy and annabeth, grover and juniper, even Clarisse and Chris) which is fab thank u rick for my percabeth rights but Luke is the only character who does not get a girlfriend!! because he’s a homosexual!!!! you know what other character didn’t get paired off in the original series??? NICO, a known homo!!! i do think that luke is a case of “accidentally written homo” because this was before rick saved the world and gave us nico’s coming out and really started pushing for queer rep in the books (thank u again rick!!!!), so I’m allowed to find my gay subtext in the original series, thank u very much!

listen all im saying is that my favorite character narrative is “angry gay coded villain who is repressing and lashing out at the world because of it” and i truly believe luke fits into that narrative and I stand by my argument.

Thank u for attending my TED Talk

#lesbianlaynie #i spent like three hours writing this #luke castellan #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #reckless tagging im so sorry #annabeth chase #the lightning thief musical #tltm #the lightning thief #the battle of the labyrinth #the last olympian #pjo #laynie's pjo essays

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hellswolfie · 4 years ago

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The Mark of Athena Review

Ok so once again i continue reading “The Heroes of Olympus” and once again i need to vent so Tadaaaaa !!

So before I start, here is a more general Review : I really REALLY liked this book. Favorite of the serie so far. Also, obviously, SPOILERS !!

THINGS I DIDNT LIKE :

- The role of Frank : I can maybe forgive that, because with 7 main characters i understand it’s difficult to give them all an important role in one single book. But I really loved him in “The Son of Neptune” and I really wanted to see more of him, and the most of what we got was him being the Jealous Boyfriend. It was kind of disappointing so I hope it’ll change in the next books.

- Piper : it costs me a lot to put her there because I really really loved her in “The Lost Hero” but I have to admit I didn’t like one single chapter of hers in “The Mark of Athena”. Or at least not completely. In the first book there was the relationship with her dad, her culture, her dealing with the fact she was an Aphrodite children, the begining of a friendship with Annabeth and Leo... But in this book ? It’s only about Jason. Endlessly. And it’s so tiring and eyeroll worthy, especially when we compare her “issues” over JASON with the others’. And even without that, she was really not a great person in this book and not in the interesting way : she was ready to put the whole World in danger just so Jason wouldnt stay in New Rome, kept Charming Up her friends just for convenience (like srsly i know thats not supposed to be a Big Deal but thats still mind control so yikes), and when it came down to it, no matter what she said about how Leo is like her little brother or Annabeth is her BFF, she only gave a crap about Jason Jason Jason...There was barely a scene of her with the other two. And I find it frustrasting that it didn’t even feel like the plot during her chapters were about her, but more about Jason and her being a support for him, even though they were HER chapters !!

- Jasiper : Well I guess that’s not really a surprise lol. I never liked this pairing and this book didn’t change my mind on that at all. Piper keeps clinging to the three months THAT NEVER HAPPENED (and that apparently weren’t faithful to Jason’s character like srsly is she even really in love with HIM or the idea of him she had in her mind ?) instead of the 8 real months they spent together, thinks it’s a miracle when Jason appologizes (he’s a real catch huh ?) and is so so sure he’ll leave her to go to New Rome which first : wow you really have faith in this relationship huh ? But also second : why is this such a Big Deal ?? Even if he did go to New Rome she could still follow him (she made it pretty clear she’d leave all of her friends in Camp Half Blood to be with him), it’s not like he’s a whole new different person when he’s there !! And my baby Reyna was so hurt by that, like Jason was a reall asshole here, even if he was oblivious and didn’t realize her feelings for him she’s still supposed to be his friend and the first thing he asks after 8 months of disappearing is if he can spend alone time with his gf ? And I found it kind of frustrating that in the end, all the others left on their own to do their own things (yk, to save the fucking world ?) while literaly risking their life and Jasiper just...went on a date. Like seriously ? So yeah. Not a fan.

- The whole Frank x Leo “rivalery” : Why make another older character be attracted to 13 years old ?? Can you stop that ??? Leo could also be a real ass sometimes, even tho I still love him and Frank well...I already talked about that. This book had enough pissing contests between guys as it is.

- Percy apparently forgetting all the Hercules stuff he learned in “The Titan Curse”. I know it might not seem like THAT much of a deal but it was a really important thing for his character ? That he learned how Heroes, especially Hercules, were real assholes too and that he had to learn to not be like them ? That Zoe, his friend who sacrificiced herself to save the world, was treated like shit by this guy but now he was still like “omg this is Hercules I SO want to meet this guy he seems great !!” ???. It was just one sentence but I hated it.

- The focus on the Romantic relationships. Look I have nothing against romance and ships. I love romantic love in stories !! But I also love friendships and I really wish this book would have given us more of that instead of spending so much time on romantic relationships. I mean it is pretty well illustrated in the end of the book when they all separate : all the groups are romantic pairings. Percabeth, Jiper, and Frazel with Leo who has kind of a crush on Hazel. And as much as I love Frazel and Percabeth, where are the friendships ?? Percy and Jason’s relationship was supposed to be very important in this book so why didn’t we see more of that ?? What about the friendships that were already established like Percy with Frank and Hazel, Leo with Piper and Jason, Piper and Anabeth,...And all the new friendships that could have had more screen time like Annabeth and Frank or something !! So yeah that was disappointing.

THINGS I LOVED :

- the River God scene. Ok so yes I kind of lied : I enjoyed this chapter of Piper. Well this scene at least. And only kind off, because it is still a Jasiper moment but anyway. In my last review of “the Son of Neptune”, I mentionned how it always annoyed me that the heroes have a habit of always making the Good Moral Decision, without any hesitation, even if the fate of the world is in the balance. I was like “Give me morally conflicted characters damn it” !! And that’s what I got here. Piper having to lie to the God, taking his horn that was so important to him, even tho he was just a very tragic dude, to save Jason and the World, realizing that even if it is bad and she feels like shit after doing it, she still had to do it...YES !!! THANK YOU !! I LOVED THAT !!!

- The LEO X NICO INTERACTIONS !!!!!! After spending 2 books shipping them (they’d fit so well together i will die on this hill) they finally talked !!! Well once, and about the fact that Percabeth just fell into fucking Tartarus but like !!! TALKING !!!! And the first thing Nico tell him is to reassure him <3 (look I know it won’t be canon but the POTIENTIAL!!!)

- Annabeth’s chapters. I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t like them like we finally got her point of view people !!! And it was awesome !!! I loved seeing her on a quest, the way she thinks and sees the world, how she uses her intelligence,... Like she’s so brave and smart but also so sentimental even tho she’d never admit it (like getting emo about having lost the white hair because it was a connection with Percy ? My baby is so fucking precious). And obviously we already knew that but to actually be in her head ??? It was so fucking good !! And it really succeeded to make me feel so much for her, like she’s just a kid and her mother literaly sent her to her death and she was so scared but she still kept going (only to end up in Tartarus WHYYYYYY) and I’m so proud of her. I love this character so much !!

- Percabeth : The reunion !!!! FINALLY !!!! That’s my first ever OTP right there and they’re so in love !! They’re such a badass power couple and they love eachother so fucking much !! God i missed them X( I loved every Percabeth scenes, they were so adorable and beautiful. I loved how even tho they are differents and are not always in the same page, they still know eachother so well and the communication was just so cheff’s kiss. And omg their lasts scenes together ?? Chills !! Like when Percy almost begged the (kind of?) gods to let him stay just a few more moments with her because he was so scared of never seeing her again almost brought tears to my eyes and then of course their final scene when they fall together into Tartarus, because all that matter is that they’re together...MY HEART !!!

- Percy’s and Leo’s chapters. I put them together because I don’t have much to say except that I love them so much and that I would literaly lay down my life for this two. Their chapters are always such joy to read, and after one whole book without him, I was really glad to get back with Leo. Probably the funniest chapters too.

- The Crazy Dolphins scene. This scene was fucking hilarious. Pic comedy ^^

- The crumb of friendhips dynamics we got. So much potential I want to see more !! Like Percy x Jason, Annabeth x Frank (so much Hermione x Neville vibes), Leo x Frank, Hazel x Annabeth, Percy x Frank, Annabeth x Leo (Leo who is so scared of and impressed by her as he should lol),...That’s probably one of the reasons I was so bitter about the romantic relationships getting so much more time, like ALL the friendhships that were so interestings like come on !!

- Percy thinking about LUKE !!! hjfgjehgfjhsegf !!! The fact that he still considers Luke as his fighting teacher, still thinks about his training and his advices !!! Even going as far as thinking he totally understood where he came from for doing all this horrible things !!! That was so awesome !! And such a character development !!! And that makes Percy even more of an interesting character !!! Anyway I loved that ^^

- All the mythological aspect like Rick can be such a genius sometimes with how he uses them, managing to stay faithful to them while sill adapting them to a more modern setting and that works so well !! Well its there in every single one of the PJO series book, but I just wanted to put it out there so here.

- Hazel story. Look I didn’t like the whole weird kind off “love triangle” thing with Leo and Frank. But I love Hazel and I LOVED knowing more about her and also knowing more about Leo’s ancestor (who was awesome btw). That was such an interesting story, how she discovered that her only friend back then and first love spent his whole life thinking her disappearence was his fault. And the flackback was so cute too ^^ Also Loved her being so desperate finding her brother because that’s what Nico deserves and that was adorable. I really hope we’ll get to see more of their bond.

- The end. Such an amazing cliffhanger. I could feel the tension in the scene, I could’t stop reading and then the last chapter were everyone was just so in chock but Nico still believed that Percy would come back out of it alive because he admires him so much. It was SO !!! FUCKING !!! GREAT !!! Amazing way to end this book.

And that’s also how I will end this review ^^ Feel free to comment on it (respectfully) in the comments if you want.

#percy jackson #PJO #pjo series #heroes of olympus #hoo #mark of athena #MOA #percabeth

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