#i always play it when i'm fuckin depressed

[evelyns-envy]

Hi, I really liked your account <3. Could you make a hc of Daisuke with the reader being Swansea's daughter? But I understand if you don't want to :>

(sorry if the writing is bad, English is not my first language and I used the translator ಥ_ಥ)

YES YES I WILL HAPPILY WRITE THAT (your english is better than mine and english is my first language lmfao.)! this is such a cool idea though and i never even thought of it. this is my first req ever im so excited tysm!!

✎ "but daddy i love him!" (i'm havin' his baby, NO IM NOT but you should see your faces ;)) -taylor swift

warnings! - SMUT HCS + SFW!, vibrator, pegging, reader being swanseas daughter and getting w daisuke, MY FIRST REQ GUYS BE SO PROUD, evelyn is freaky 😼

SFW!!

oh jesus this is certainly a concept

you're there for almost the same reason daisuke is, for in internship.

however... daisuke is there since his parents are rich asf and paid for him to go, you're there because you've been rejected from your dream job and went into a depression due to it.

swansea knew he wouldn't let his daughter suffer, so he asked if you could been an intern on the ship for Anya.

the Pony Express executives were hesitant at first, but caved when Swansea offered for them to renew his contract for longer.

your first day aboard, you make fast friends with Anya and faster friends with Daisuke.

you ended up having to share a room with daisuke, in bunk beds.

a flirty/silly argument about who got top bunk, ending with daisuke going “what if we just share?”

he knew damn well

taking advantage of your stunned face and mind, he jumped up on the top bunk and stuck his tongue out at you.

”i was just joking, mini mechanic.”

100% calls you mini mechanic for the rest of the time on the ship even though technically HES the mini mechanic but wtv let him have his fun

is actually so glad you’re relatively the same age as him, and was really excited to be able to talk w you about younger and occasionally inappropriate stuff

UNTILL he found out you’re his boss’s daughter..!

tries to keep the dirty jokes to a minimum, but fails miserably

it was always pretty obvious that he had a thing for you, even before yall got together

would be asking swansea abt you 24-7 and your hobbies and favorite things only to be met with “stay away from my daughter, juarez.”

is now 10x more scared

and you’re also 10x more attractive to him since he knows he can’t have you

intentionally gets his finger jammed in something while helping your dad so he can go to medbay and see you

once you’re about a month into the trip, you two have regular staying up late and YAPPING sessions in your room

he’ll occasionally come down from his bunk and sit on the floor next to your bed if the topic is deeper, until you notice he looks uncomfortable on the metal floor and tell him to come sit on the bed

anddd thats how babies are made folks! the end!

nah jk anyways you two talk until the early hours of the artificial ‘morning’ on the ship

when yall finally run out of things to talk about, you realize he’s laying next to you and you’re laying on his arm

oh nooo how did that happen (fuck already damn)

“comfy there?”

”shut up.”

”make me, mini mechanic.”

”now is not the time to bring up my father, dai.”

you playing w his hair and growing to understand how much he loves when you do that

eventually falling asleep in each others arms

you cannot tell me this mf isn’t SO comfy to sleep on be so fr

waking up to YOUR DAD 🤗 banging on the door demanding that daisuke get up and come help him fix smth in the storage

getting jump scared and shaking dai awake bc bro is knocked out and snoring

him opening the door and yall having to act like you weren’t wrapped in each others arms, entirely consumed in the other

holy shit that was fuckin poetic

awkwardly waving bye to him, both of you having a knowing smile tugging at your lips

he eventually asks you out, VERY awkwardly and in the middle of one of the routine late night talks

you accept happily (no shit)

doing basically everything together

always bringing dai along when you’re in front of your dad js for funsies and to piss him off a little

even while swansea doesn’t seem like he approves of the relationship, he secretly loves how sweet and gentle daisuke is to you

+ his parents are rich so you’re set!!

always telling Anya you need to go ask your dad something when really you js wanna see your pretty boyfriend

you both love each other so fucking much it’s insane. and getting your dad to approve is next level

NSFW….!! (watch out 😛😼 ‘ya girl evelyn is a wee bit freaky)

if you’re a little bolder, you definitely jerk dai off under the workbench where both he AND YOUR FATHER are working (this hc isn’t mine i saw it somewhere else on tumblr btw i js love it sm)

ok listen. dai is a sub at heart, but a bratty sub.

tries to talk back to you? his ass is getting bent over the nearest surface and fucked stupid by your strap (it’s always close by 😼)

also jacking him off while another crew mate is nearby, one i think would be good is curly’s bday celebration. jacking dai off as he’s trying so hard to focus on making the cake while all you can focus on is his slutty noises spilling uncontrollably from his mouth.

going down on him while he’s talking abt his usual unluckiness when trying to find a girl to truly love him, and now js his money. slowly unzipping his jeans while he keeps ranting, breath slightly jagged now.

“they alway-.. (y/n)? uh- what are y- mhmmm. never mind. feels good.”

he says as you gently tug his pants down, letting him fall around his ankles as you look up at him w those fucking eyes. shit. he’s a goner.

leaning back against whatever wall you undoubtedly have him pushed against, head thrown back as his trimmed nails run through you hair, egging you on.

you’re totally in swansea’s office change my fucking mind and he’s sitting on your dad’s desk 😋

“don’t mess up any papers, pretty. don’t want my father finding out you were gettin’ all ruined by his daughter on his desk, now do you?”

“n-no.. don’t mm- don’t want that.”

“then keep quiet and be good.”

he’s so fuckin freaky he’s defo an exhibitionist

you’re a girl- so you obviously brought a vibrator be SO fr w me rn

you definitely press it against his tip while slowly licking up the base

he is SO vocal that you have to tie his hawaiian shirt around his mouth so that he won’t YELL

gets cum on an important paper and yall have to throw it away lmfao

swansea being confused as shit abt where the document went and has been searching the Tulpar and asking all the crewmates if they’ve seen it

oopsies…

[mcrslover]

MCR quotes for anyone who needs them:

"Kids would say they were going to kill themselves then they heard our music... it's our mission"

- Mikey Way.

...

"Reasons why mcr is good for you

juradsleigh:

Feeling like a rad vampire? Listen to bullets

Feeling angry? Listen to 3 cheers

Feeling sad? Listen to black parade

Feeling colourful and happy? Listen to danger days

Feeling like breaking up your band? Listen to death never stop you"

...

"This is for every kid out there... That dyed their hair a fucked up colour and can't get a job. They got a tattoo on their neck like Frank, and can't get a job. That does this because they fuckin' love this. This song is for every kid in the audience- even if you don't have fucked up hair or tattoos-every kid on stage, this song's about us, this song's about you, it's called The Kids From Yesterday."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Stop covering your children's eyes.

Everything is fucked up and pretending it's not won't make it any better. I'm tired of people praying for a change when it's up to them to get off their asses and make a change."

- Frank Iero.

...

"I spent most of my time in the back of the class, just drawing. My goal was to not get noticed in school, because spent so long not being noticed anyway or being treated as if I were invisible that I started to like it.

I've learned that it's actually not very lonely... It's like, you have less friends but the friends you have count more. I met a lot of people that weren't outsiders, or they were very popular, and they have a lot of friends but I don't know if they're the kinds of friends you would call up at 3 am to help you out or talk about being depressed."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Promise me, when MCR's gone, you'll do what it takes to survive. You're strong enough to do it without us."

- Gerard Way.

...

"All your quirks and all your problems, even your depressions, and your failures that's.. that's what makes you, you."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you or someone you know is severely depressed you need to fucking talk to someone! Your mom, someone in school, I don't give a fuck! Because suicide is fucking bullshit."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Nothing is worth hurting yourself over, nothing is worth taking your life over"

- Gerard Way.

...

"If we never play another show again, just keep yourself alive."

- Gerard Way.

...

"We're outsiders, we're the kids who didn't get dates for the prom, we're the kids who were confused, who didn't fit in with the cliques, who weren't part of the in-crowd.

Growing up can be a very frightening and confusing time, and I think people look at us and see it's okay to be different. They see that there is a way other than what they're being offered. That you can stand out, that you can be creative, that you can be yourself."

- Gerard Way.

...

"gerard-hey:

I love MCR so much it's like they have a song for every situation. Feeling sad? Listen to The Lights Behind Your Eyes. Feeling frustrated? Listen to I'm Not Okay. Feeling Energetic? Listen to Na Na Na. Feeling like you wanna kick some ass? Listen to Destroya.

Feeling rebellious? Listen to Teenagers. Feel like you wanna break up your band? Listen to Fake Your Death."

...

"The difference we want to make is, number one, to let these kids know that they're not alone, that they're actually not that messed up, and that they can do whatever they want they can express themselves in any way they want without being persecuted or called a faggot or some kind of racist thing. Really just get people to get over their stuff so they can live."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Whatever happens to you, no matter what, l'm always fucking there for you... Don't forget that. I don't give a shit if your boyfriend dumps you. If your girlfriend dumps you. If you're working a shitty job or can't get through school. If you can't get through a fucking Harry Potter book, there's nothing worth dying over. There's nothing worth taking your life over. I will always fucking be there."

- Gerard Way.

...

"If you come to an MCR show, you're probably a little fucked up, and that's okay because we're just as fucked up as you. It's us against the world. And it's great because there's thousands of us in one place."

- Gerard Way.

...

"Someone doesn't like you? Fuck it.

Having a bad day? Fuck it. Didn't get that job, or that grade, or that promotion you wanted? Fuck it. Fighting with your lover? Fuck it. Feel fat today? Fuck it. Losing control of everything and everyone? Fuck it.

What matters now won't matter soon; the truly important thing is that you are alive, and that you have the capacity to do absolutely anything with this beautiful, crazy coincidence of being on this earth. Just stick your middle fingers in the air and think, 'Damn, I have it good."

- Gerard Way.

...

"You're going to come across a lot of shitty bands, and a lot of shitty people. And if anyone of those people call your names because of what you look like, or bedause they don't accept you for who you are. I want you to look right at that mother fucker, stick up your middle finger and scream

"FUCK YOU!!"

- Gerard Way.

...

"Real revenge is making something of yourself."

- Gerard Way.

❤️🖤❤️🖤

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors with Benefits: Part 5 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge @hellishjoel

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Words: About 5000

"Your, uh, your parents left a few minutes ago," Joel informed you as you finished drying off and getting dressed. "Two separate cars. You should be safe to sneak back over unnoticed." A smile formed on his face.

"Thanks." You scrunched your nose, "I feel like I’m on, like, James Bond or something... sneaking around."

He snickered again and tossed on a t-shirt over a pair of jeans. "Well... thanks for keeping me fuckin' company."

"Yeah." You nodded, feeling that sinking feeling again from the uncertainty of the whole situation. It was a weight that was already beginning to weigh on you. Now that you'd spent a night sleeping next to him the feeling was magnified.

"You okay?"

You forced a smile, trying to focus on the amazing aspects of the night together rather than the depressing what-ifs that plagued your mind. "Yeah. I'm good."

Joel looked you up for a second and then waved you down the hall. You followed him into the kitchen where he began rummaging through a drawer filled with miscellaneous coupons, writing utensils, and post-it notes. He ripped a yellow post-it from the top of a short stack of them and then scribbled seven digits with a black sharpie and handed it to you.

"I know this is kind of the old- fashioned way to give someone your phone number," he went on, handing it over, "But, shit, I'm old."

You felt the butterflies again - a surge of positive vibes that overtook your worries as you accepted his number. "You're not that old."

Joel smiled. "Send me a text or something so I have your number too.”

“Okay.” You couldn’t contain a wide grin.

“Just maybe… make sure your parents don’t see that someone named Joel is sending you messages.”

You nodded. “Got it.” You pointed over your shoulder toward the back door with your thumb. "I'll, um... I'll see you later."

He nodded and followed you to the door as you began to head that way. When you turned the knob and pulled it open, Joel pressed his hand against it and closed it again.

You turned, staring up at him and Joel opened his mouth to speak, though nothing came out.

"I, uh..." He cleared his throat and paused for another several seconds. "I get out of work around three."

You wanted to smile, and inside your heart was doing backflips; but you were too overwhelmed by the look on his face and his unwillingness to let you leave to show it.

"Okay," you said simply. When he didn't speak you continued. "My parents usually aren't out of work until about five, so..." you snickered, "I could probably easily get back over here.”

"You could always sleep over at your friend's house again." Joel tipped the corner of his mouth up in a smile, making you grin wider.

"They may send a search party." You took it upon yourself to bring your lips back to his, watching for a second as Joel's eyes closed firmly before closing yours.

He pulled you tightly against him, leaving the other hand against the door and kissed you harder before reluctantly letting you go. "I gotta go to work." Joel brought his lips back to yours once more, and you found yourself craving him again. When your hands tightened around the fabric of his shirt he cursed against your mouth. "Fuck."

"Do you think..." you breathed, "Do you think Holly would care if I slept over a second night?"

Joel finally managed a full grin, continuing to alternate between playfully making out with you and having a conversation. "I don't think she'll mind."

You kissed him again, playing into the raw aggression he attempted to control. You could see it in his strained jaw and closed eyes.

"I hadn't fucked in a while before I met you the other day." He reached down, adjusting himself and moved away to regain some control. Joel kept his eyes closed again and tried to think of anything else.

You knew you had been indulging in your own pleasures far too much and decided to take a moment to be fair to him. As bad as you wanted to cross back into his personal space and take control of the situation, you refrained, noting he was trying to contain himself.

"I'll call you," you told him.

Joel opened his eyes and looked you up and down before nodding. A smile finally crossed his face again and he laughed at himself. "I should have just taken a damn sick day."

You giggled and shrugged, this time opening the back door fully. "I'll go home before you change your mind."

He let out a deep breath and watched you for a moment. "Keep that bag packed."

"I will." You smiled at him and looked around the house once more before opening the screen door. "See ya later."

Joel swallowed hard and nodded, watching as you exited his home.

The feelings and the energy that had swept over Joel made him feel like a new man each time he saw you. He wasn't used to any of it - the attraction, the sex and, perhaps most importantly, the way you looked at him like he was the only man in the world. All of that had been just a speck in his marriage, even early on. Joel recognized how intense the connection was and it had begun to leave him fantasizing about you long after you’d parted.

He crossed the kitchen and glanced out a window, watching as you pulled open the back door to your home. You gave a final look in his direction before heading inside and Joel turned away from the window, bracing himself against the kitchen table.

What the fuck is wrong with me? He couldn't deny that there was a touch of ‘wrong’ in fucking his neighbor’s twenty-three year old daughter; but also acknowledged that he hadn’t felt this alive and wanted in years - maybe all of his life. Joel closed his eyes and drew a hand across his beard. For a moment he just stood there in the empty house, letting his thoughts wander in rapid-fire fashion.

"Shit." He said the word quietly to himself and glanced at the clock. With fifteen minutes to spare he decided to try to make the feeling go away temporarily and walked down the hallway toward the bathroom.

Steam still lingered on the mirror and when he saw his lone reflection he immediately missed having you there looking back at him in the mirror.

I need a cold shower.

With that, he stripped his closed back off and turned the shower on. He shivered as he stepped in, purposely leaving the water cold and closed his eyes, teeth chattering, as he stood directly under the icy flow of water. Joel wrapped his arms around himself and was able to focus on the uncomfortable sting from the shower rather than the one that burned inside of him. He stood there enduring it until the top of his head felt nearly numb. Joel turned the handle hard, creating a loud thump as it clicked back into place and the faucet turned off.

Again, he took a deep breath and still shivered there alone for a moment before ripping back the curtain so he came face to face with himself again in the mirror. Joel took in his shivering body, his desperate eyes and chattering teeth. In that moment he felt he looked more like a scared child than the strong man he viewed himself as.

He shook his head again. What the fuck am I letting this woman do to me?

The rest of the morning was long, and Joel had a difficult time focusing at work. The clock felt like it was stuck on the same number for hours on end and multiple times his co-workers had called him out on spacing out as they worked together to re-wire the electrical system in a building that was being restored.

"Joel, what in the hell do you keep looking at that damn phone for?" Tommy, Joel’s brother, approached him, prompting Joel to immediately shove the phone back into his jeans pocket. He took off his hard hat and wiped sweat from his forehead.

Joel searched his mind for a lie but he had nothing, "I’m just waiting to hear back from someone… about something."

"You ain’t dying, brother, are you?" He laughed and Joel managed a chuckle.

"Nah. It’s nothing." Joel's smile faded a bit and he placed the hand on his pocket where the phone sat.

"Seems like something to me," Tommy went on, "I've never seen you so glued to that thing."

Before he could answer, the boss on their job site called out to everyone from a megaphone. “Today’s meeting is mandatory. We’re going over the blueprints for a big job that’s starting August 1st. Unless I watch you throw up, you’ll be there.”

“He’s a ray of fuckin’ sunshine,” Tommy remarked.

"Meeting." Joel nodded to himself and removed his own hard hat, running a hand through his sweaty hair. “Shit.”

"Yeah," Tommy said matter-of-factly, "You know, the shit the boss has been talking about for two weeks.”

"Yeah." He nodded, “I forgot about it.”

"Everything alright?" Tommy asked again, "Are you fuckin' hungover or something? You haven’t been overdoing it with the drinking since you and your wife split up, have you?”

"I'm fucking fine Tommy." Joel stopped abruptly and stared at his brother sternly. He thought he felt his phone go off and so he reached into the pocket of his pants again. When he found the screen viewing nothing but the time he almost cursed aloud and jammed the phone back into his pocket. When he glanced back up Tommy was staring at him. "Yeah, I know. I checked my fucking phone."

A few of the other guys glanced over and Tommy grabbed Joel by the arm, towing him to the side.

"I got you this job," Tommy scolded him, "It makes me look bad if you fuck up.”

"Stop giving me shit." He began to walk away but Tommy put a hand on his chest and Joel glared at him.

“Look, Joel. You’ve taken care of me my whole life and this is the one thing I helped you out with.”

“I’m having an off day,” Joel began but Tommy cut him off again.

“No, you haven’t been yourself in months since your lady left you.”

“You really want to go there right now?”

“I’m sorry.” He backed off. “I shouldn’t have said that, but… for me. Please. I like working with you and-”

“Fine.” Joel grumbled.

"Okay.” Tommy nodded and sensed Joel was itching to check his phone again. “But brother to brother, whatever the hell this is." He pointed toward his pocket and then directly at Joel, "Fix it.”

...

You finally decided you would text Joel when eleven o'clock rolled around. You didn't want to seem overly desperate by texting him too soon, nor did you want to interfere with the beginning of his day. Lunch time, you suspected, would be a good time to contact him.

You read the message in your mind as you typed, plopping down in the center of your bed as you did. Hey, it's me... I hope your day isn't going as hard as your morning. You squinted your eyes, not knowing if the message was too corny or forward. You hesitated a moment before finally hitting the send button. Talking dirty and using innuendos wasn't exactly your strong suit.

A loud sigh left your mouth and you rolled onto your back. Having the house to yourself and no work to do was something that very rarely happened - and something you would have typically welcomed. Now, it provided you with far too much time to daydream about Joel and all of the possibilities that went along with his abrupt, dramatic entrance into your life.

You glanced down at your phone, noting the minute hadn't rolled over yet. Still, you already felt self-conscious in the fact that he didn't immediately text your back.

It's been twenty seconds, you reminded herself.

The television played mindlessly across the room and You attempted to put your focus into a rerun of Law & Order with little success. Your eyes dropped to the phone again, this time at the exact second that the time switched from 11:00 to 11:01. It was almost like the device was taunting you; sticking out its tongue and willing you to believe that he, for some reason, ignored the message.

That was when the downward spiral of thoughts occurred in a perfect, timely fashion: Maybe he's annoyed at me for waiting so long. Maybe he's playing hard to get. Maybe he's in the middle of something important. Maybe a co-worker saw the message and now he has to explain it. Maybe he's losing interest. Maybe-

The phone sounded off providing the instant remedy to every worrisome question, and you snatched the phone up into your hands. A smile decorated your face as you read his reply. Warm relief spread into your body from his prompt response.

Jesus honey... I was starting to think my phone was broken.

Your thumbs pounded furiously at the screen as you typed out another message, smirking to yourself as you did. Didn't mean to keep you waiting!

You were completely smitten with the brewing affair and glanced out the window toward his house. You found herself counting down the minutes until three o'clock, or a little after, when you would see his truck roll back into the driveway. Your phone chimed again almost immediately this time and you glanced down to read it.

I forgot I had mandatory meeting until about 5:30 tonight... so I may be the one to keep you waiting... you have my mind clouded. I almost forgot about it.

You felt the simultaneous pull of emotions now that Joel wouldn't be home until later. Still, you felt satisfaction in the idea that you could distract him. It made the butterflies return to your stomach.

Sorry! :) Hope the meeting goes well... I have to find a way to sneak over now that my parents will be home... hmm...

The predicament was real. You weren’t sure how you would manage getting over to Joel's house without them realizing where you were going. You couldn't drive your car - they would see it in his driveway. You couldn't claim that someone was picking you up - they would see that no one was there to get you. Including Holly in the plan would let one more person in on the little secret you and Joel shared - even though you were absolutely dying to.

"Shit..." You thought about it, distracted momentarily by nothing but bad ideas that you knew wouldn't work. A part of you wished you had a key to his house so you could get over there early and greet him in your best bra and panties at the door.

Yeah, right. You knew you didn’t have the balls to do that, anyway.

When the phone sounded off again you felt instantly intrigued. I'll take care of it... don't even fuckin' sweat it.

You closed your eyes and envisioned Joel in his entirety - the feel of his trim beard against your face as you kissed; his breaths as they landed against your neck; the sounds he made at the height of his arousal in the midst of your embrace.

The collection of thoughts made you feel hot and cold; anxious and excited; and nervous but ready all at once. Joel had completely clouded your mind to the extent that you had no room for anything else.

I wonder what he has in mind.

After a long day and some on-and-off texting, Joel’s messages went cold around three o'clock, and you knew it was because of his meeting. However, when eight o'clock you felt anxiety creeping in. As crazy as it felt, you knew you couldn't be stuck in your bedroom staring at Joel's house all night.You had to see him.

The last message on your phone had come nearly a half an hour before. He informed you he was about to shower and of course that felt like a tease. It was enough for you to feel just a bit secure, though with each passing minute you wondered when he would jumpstart the evening.

Your attention was drawn for a moment to the television when a reporter came on about an incident somewhere across the country. A short video clip showed some type of creature in pursuit of two police officers defending civilians. When they all disappeared out of the range of the camera, the sound of gunshots sounded off before the news cut back to the reporter.

"We were informed earlier that the attacker was said to be high on the drug PCP, which would explain the loss of motor skills and aggressive behavior."

Your interest piqued for a moment and you tried to rewind the television to see what the thing looked like. It was dark and brief but you still couldn’t tell what exactly was happening. When your phone chimed your eyes urgently left the television and you smiled to see Joel's name on your phone screen. All he typed was: Ready?

You giggled and nodded as you typed, saying the word out loud, "Always."

A sigh left your mouth and you glanced in the mirror, fluffing out your hair a bit. You looked down at your attire - a pair of girlie boxer shorts from Victoria's Secret and sports bra.

Time to change, you thought with a grin.

The phone went off again and this time when you glanced down you continued to smile but now your curiosity piqued even more. you imagined Joel saying the words aloud that he typed: Go down into the living room. Make sure your parents are there. Text me when you get there.

All of it was so cryptic, and made the uncertainties all the more fun. It was like a big game of cat and mouse. You felt like a kid ready to go to your favorite amusement park, though you didn't know how you would get there - or which ride would be first.

Without another thought you flung open your door and rushed down the stairs, immediately catching the attention of your mom who was already there with the television on. Your father was fully reclined in what he referred to as his 'comfy chair' and was snoring away.

"Hey honey." Your mother greeted you with a smile.

"Hi." You smiled and fiddled with your phone nonchalantly, responding to Joel with a simple, I'm down here. What now?

"Holly?"

Your head snapped up and your face grew a shade darker. "Yeah," you lied.

"Your dad kind of conked out on me," your mother motioned to him in the chair, "We're supposed to be watching Survivor."

"That's still on?"

"Oh, yeah. Of course. It's one of the best shows on television."

"If you say so." You chuckled and looked down when your phone went off again.

Stay there.

"You kids and your phones."

"Hey, you're getting hooked now that you have a smartphone, too." You eyed your mother, who managed a chuckle and yawned. When a commercial came on she rose to her feet, prompting you to head in her direction. "Where are you going?"

"To the kitchen,” she said, staring at you as if you were crazy.

You glanced at your phone again and you bit down on your bottom lip. You weren't sure what Joel was up to but you wanted to obey his requests to stay put in the living room. "Well... why?"

Your mother laughed this time, "To get a bottle of water. Is that okay with you?"

"I'll get it," you offered.

"Are you hiding booze in there or something?"

You laughed, "Hiding? Mom, I'll be twenty-four in a few months. I'm going to be a big-time detective soon." You raised your eyebrows, "I don't need permission to have a drink anymore."

"You do in this house." Your father joked, seemingly springing to life. He grinned well before he opened his eyes as he teamed up with your mother in an effort to tease you.

“I'm not hiding “booze”. I was just coming down to say goodnight.” You crossed the room and kissed your mother on the cheek and then did the same to your father, who already looked like he was about to fall back asleep.

Your mother shrugged, "Well, alright." she glanced at her husband, "You must take after your father because I could stay up until midnight sometimes."

She laughed and you exchanged a hug, pleased that your phone had gone off again as you did. "Good night Mom."

"Good night." You exchanged a smile before glancing back at your phone for what felt like the fiftieth time.

All set honey. You can go back upstairs.

You didn't understand but you were already on your way to the second floor.

So... what's the plan? How will this work tonight?

You sighed, hurrying back to your room with all the intentions of changing into something you felt was more appropriate and much sexier than your typical bedtime attire. When you pushed the door open you screamed and immediately put your hand over your mouth, muffling a laugh just after.

Joel stood in between your open window and your bed. His face twisted into a smirk though he raised his eyebrows when he heard your mother shout up the stairs.

"What happened?" The television muted, "(Y/N)!”

Your mouth hung open and you quickly exited your room when you heard your mother's footsteps approaching the stairs. "I'm fine!" you shouted.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"Why did you scream?" Your mother's footsteps were thudding up the stairs now and panic set in in your chest.

"Mom, I'm fine," you insisted, meeting her a step out of the partially open bedroom door. Your heart was thudding in your chest as your mother looked at you skeptically, waiting for your question to be answered. "I... there was a spider. It was... on my door handle and I touched it when I opened my door."

"Yikes. Where did it go?"

"I don't know."

You prayed your mother wouldn't try to enter your bedroom as your eyes began to scan the hardwood floors of the hallway.

"Mom, it's fine," you insisted, "I think I squished it when I opened the door.

"I hate knowing there's a spider in here."

"It was tiny," you insisted, strategically placing your body in between your mother and your room. The only way you could have kept your mother out would have been to push her away, and you didn't have the heart to do something like that. With a deep breath the two of you entered the room.

Joel was nowhere to be seen and your eyes frantically scanned the area while your mother's scanned the floor.

"Mom, I'm fine... really." You were panicking now as you had no idea where Joel had gone. "Please. It's dead. It was smaller than a dime." You took a deep breath, "They're going to vote someone off the island and you're going to miss it."

Finally, your mom let up a bit in her pursuit and stood with her hands on her hips as if she'd just completed some grand mission. "Well... kill it if you see it. You know I hate those things."

"I will." You were practically stiff-arming her out of the room, though you softened up your tone. "I love you, Mom. Thanks for spider hunting for me."

She smiled, "Good night honey."

You watched for a moment, making sure your mother had retreated back to the first floor before closing the door to your bedroom and locking it. For several seconds you stood in silence, glancing around and only able to hear the sound of your thudding heart. When Joel slowly crept up from the floor in between the bed and the wall where the window was, you put your hand on your chest and let out a deep breath.

"Well, I didn’t expect you to scream like that." Joel grinned wide, speaking quietly.

"How did you get in here?" You laughed, whispering the question to him. You were so infatuated by every little thing he did.

Joel nodded toward the window before kicking off his shoes and making himself at home in the center of your bed. "It's been awhile since I've scaled a house to sneak into a girl's bedroom."

"Is that a habit of yours?"

He chuckled, "Sounded a little fuckin' creepy now that I think of it. But, no... not since I was in high school."

You bit down on your bottom lip and crossed the room, leaning a knee on the bed next to him. "You scaled the house?"

Joel smiled wider, "Being a little bad feels pretty good, doesn't it?"

You responded by swinging one leg across his body and straddling him on the bed before bringing your lips down to meet his.

He kissed you for a few seconds before latching his fingers beneath the band of your shorts. "Do you sleep in these?"

A day ago you would have felt self-conscious, though now you could tell he was being flirtatious. "Sometimes..." you kissed him a little harder, "And sometimes nothing at all."

"Mmm..." Joel smiled as you kissed again.

"So... are we going to your place?"

He smiled, "How the hell are we going to do that, honey?"

You shrugged your shoulders.

Joel drew a hand up to your face and twirled a strand of hair in his fingers, unable to keep himself from grinning. "We're staying right here." He laughed, "What’d you think when your mom burst in here?”

"I felt like I was going to be sick."

"How do you feel now?" He reached for your hand and held it in his own, smirking when he saw you were shaking from all the nerves. "You're used to doing the right thing all the time, aren't you?"

"No, I-"

"I like that." Joel smiled wider and kissed you again. "But you are certainly pushing your limits with me." His hand snaked up your back and he began to urge you out of the sports bra you had on until you laid topless on top of him.

"It feels good to push the limits," you told him, closing your eyes as he began kissing your neck and cupping your breast with one of his hands.

"Only one way we're going to get caught messing around in here tonight," he whispered against your neck.

"What's that?" You arched your head back and moaned lightly.

Joel laughed and laid his head back down flat on the pillow. "If you can't be quiet."

"No promises," you teased, purposely pushing back so he could view your upper body in its entirety.

"Mmm..." he hummed. "Well, if I'm too much for you," Joel reached for a second pillow next to where he laid, "Just moan into this."

CLICK HERE FOR PART 6

@pedropascal111 @axshadows @mybritishstyle @untamedheart81 @amyispxnk @goodvibesonly421

[oneforthemunny]

i'm not entirely sure what prompted this. to be utterly honest, the holidays are rough sometimes, and i've been kind of struggling so here's this bc this is how i cope now :)

tw: mentions of loss, grief, depression.

“...at the tone, please record your message.” 

Beep.

“Uh, hey. It’s-It’s Eddie. I, uh, I was just calling to, uh- I was just wanting to check on ya. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days, sweetheart, and I know you’ve been busy. I just… Yeah, gimme a call back when you can, alright? I still got those VHS’s. Rentals not due for a couple of days. I’d-I’d really like to see you. Just… call me back when you get this. Even if it’s late. Love you.” 

The lights on your tree started to blur, water-stained with blinding, swirling tears of guilt. Settled on your couch, in the same crumpled position that you fell into as soon as you got off work, waves of exhaustion consuming you, but sleep never came easily. 

The most wonderful time of the year was a stretch, a mockery of a term that felt poisoned and back handed. With every happy, glowy commercial, all smiling families and sing-songy laugh; it made you feel sick at the falseness of it all. 

It had been four days since you last spoke to Eddie, nearing two weeks since you saw him in person. Not out of spite, or a fight like it had been in the past. This time, it was you- all you. 

The message on the receiver played on a loop, you jammed your finger on the button, letting it sound off its automated message before his voice filled the silent space in the room. You missed the sound of his voice, the warmth behind it so comforting in this frigid winter. It might be better to call him, actually hear him and talk to him, but every time you reached for the phone, you couldn’t dial his number. That would mean you’d have to talk, have to say something, tell him why you’d been so MIA, and that required a strength you didn’t have yet. 

Somewhere between the late night talk show coming on, but not before your neighbor’s lights turned off, there was a knock at your door. You figured it was your neighbor across from you, Mrs. Jennings, always bringing you baked treats in festive sweaters, leaving with a hearty “Merry Christmas!” that always had you crumbling inside. 

“Baby?” Your body stilled, breath caught in your lungs at the sound, like he might be able to see you through the door. 

“Hey, I-I know you’re in there.” Eddie’s voice was soft, muffled by the heavy wood of your door. “Not to sound like a total fuckin’ stalker or anything. I just… I wanna make sure you’re ok?” 

Your mind screamed at you to move, to go answer the door, to reply, to do anything. 

The lock jiggled, a squeak and a creak before the door was opening softly- hesitantly, like he was scared of what he might find on the other side. “Babe?” Eddie’s eyes scanned the small kitchen area, your purse slung on the table, shoes kicked off by the door into a pile. 

“You alright? I-I called you a coupla times, actually, and I just wanted to make sure you were ok.” His voice was tight, heavy soled steps on the carpet. 

You knew he saw you by the way he stopped. Halted behind the couch, hovering over a collapsed you on the couch. Tear stained sweatshirt sleeves under your head, an array of photo albums you always kept tucked in the top of the storage closet down the hall, memories sprawled out on the coffee table, creased on the edges from your shaky grasp. 

The one closest to you had his stomach dropping. He’d seen her before, the solemn looks and shaky breaths that you and your family gave when you’d pass the outdated family portrait in your home. Plastered on the wall with matching bright smiles, but looming with a haunting, sickening feeling. Eddie knew the feeling, a little too well. 

“Oh.” Eddie breathed before he could help himself. 

You wanted to sob, felt the burn of it in your throat, curling into yourself. 

“No, no, no, I-I didn’t-” Eddie’s eyes darted frantically, reaching out towards you, but never touching you. He knew what this felt like, knew the embarrassment and vulnerability, the shame and dread. 

He knew what it felt like. 

Silently, he sank next to you on the couch, careful of the delicate photos, placing them out of the way with a gentleness that had you sniffling, swallowing down a whimpering cry. A hand on your back, pulling your body into his, letting the weight of you settle onto his chest. 

Your face moved into the soft cotton of his tee. He’d smoked on the way over here, though it was comforting. Nose rubbing against his chest, clinging to the fabric next to you in a fisted clutch. Eddie’s arms around your frame, holding you firmly yet so softly at the same time. 

Your neighbor’s lights were off by the time you finally spoke. 

“I was in line at Melvald’s getting wrapping paper,” You croaked, voice raspy with emotions, cheek still pressed to Eddie’s chest. You could hear his heartbeat. “And they started playing this song. The Christmas one by The Partridge Family?” 

Eddie nodded slowly, hand still gliding soothingly up and down your spine. He could feel your shaky breath through his fingertips. “She, uh,” You swallowed around the words. “She used to love that song. Would always sing it when we’d put the trimmings on the tree. My mom would have that hanging tinsel you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And,” Your tone fell at the thought, at the mention of her again. “She’d always play this song on a loop. Would throw it around, all over the branches just to piss my mom off.” Your lips curled at the memory. You always laughed when she did that. Now you couldn’t because you knew she’d never do it again. 

There was a moment, a beat of silence in the still room. “Anyways, I…I was going to get wrapping paper because I’m so fucking behind on wrapping and-and buying, because I’ve been working-” 

“-You’ve been working a lot.” Eddie’s eyes cut down to you, carefully. 

You sighed, a shudder of a breath in. “Yeah. I know.” It was soft, an apology. You didn’t need to, but Eddie was glad to hear it. Selfishly, he was relieved that his fears that this was somehow his fault, that he’d done something to upset you, weren’t true. 

“I just… I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to be busy? I felt like if I stayed busy, I wouldn’t really get to think about it. Get this holiday over with and then I wouldn’t feel so…” You didn’t really know what to say, how to describe the feeling. 

“No, I… I get it.” Eddie nodded slowly, staring off in the colorful strands of lights glimmering from the tree in the far corner of the room. “My mom used to wear that, uh, that Pond's stuff to bed. The face stuff with the green lid?” You nodded slowly, cheek still smushed against his chest. 

“And right after she passed, I-I was in middle school, right? Seventh grade. And we had a sub and… fuck, she smelled just like that cream.” Eddie shook his head softly at the memory. “She just walked past me to make sure we were reading, and I smelled it and… I just ran out of the classroom because I didn’t want to cry in front of everyone. But, like, running out wasn’t much better.” 

You snorted softly, light enough to have Eddie’s gaze peering back down to you, heart skipping in his chest. “Yeah, I would say that might make it worse.” 

“Wasn’t very smooth.” Eddie nodded. “Just running out of the classroom seemed better than crying.” 

You paused for a moment, lips puckered in a pout. “It’s weird.” You muttered, still looking ahead. “How you’re just out and the smallest things just… send you over the edge.” 

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed. “Grief’s a weird thing.” 

“Really weird.” You mumbled. 

Eddie ducked his chin down, let his nose press into your scalp, breathing in your scent, pressing a kiss to your hair. “I’m here for you, you know?” He muttered, the vibrations from his words tickling your scalp. “For when it gets weird. You don’t… this sounds really fuckin’ cheesy and I’m sorry, but you don’t have to do it by yourself. Don’t have to be alone.” 

You weren’t sure what to say. Not sure you could even speak if you did know what to say, the growing lump in your throat strangling you. Instead, you clung tighter to his shirt, pressed yourself further into the warm, inviting hold that felt familiar and calming. 

Eddie would go and get the wrapping paper for you tomorrow, even help you wrap a few gifts. He’d help you carefully put up the photos with a gentleness that would have your heart fluttering. But for now, he held you, fingers moving down your spine, chin pressed to the top of your head, pulling you closer to him on the tiny couch.

[ret1cent]

the space between (pt.1)

josh dun x fem reader

WC: 3,000+

“you want me? fuckin’ well come on and find me”

a/n: hey everyone! this is my first fic on here and the first fanfic series i am dedicating myself to ever since a wattpad markiplier x reader fic i wrote in 6th grade LMAO.. so bear with me as i get used to writing consistently again.. just a heads up this fic will have heavy themes for some people so make sure you read the warnings <3 i also think it's worth mentioning that unless made obvious all new characters introduced are purely fictional.

warnings: angst, unhappy relationship, falling out, topics of mental abuse and manipulation, bad work environment, stress and depression, abandonment issues

pt.2 here

May 19th, 2016.

“On your right!” I hear the voice of a man coming from behind me.

I whip around, quickly swerving to the left, almost running into the wall of the hallway as a group of camera loaders haul a huge camera, wind rushing past me as they scurry past. I sigh as I look down and see that the sudden maneuver caused the coffee in my hand to splash onto the front of my cardigan. I closed my eyes, as if when I opened them again the overwhelming feeling of frustration building up in my chest would magically dissipate.

I was delivering coffee like an intern and my favorite cardigan is stained, today is going great. I continue down the hall and enter the studio, the overhead lights shining hot and nearly blinding. I stagger through the bustling set, unable to hear my own thoughts from the chaos amongst me. I walk until I find Frank, a big burly guy with dark facial hair who wore the same crusty hat every day. He’s my new boss and the head of our production department who ordered me to bring him a latte. Needless to say it was quite embarrassing to play out an intern movie trope in real life.

“Frank, I have your coffee.” I say, pulling his attention away from the set designers he was closely studying, most likely looking for any excuse to yell at them. He looks over at me in silent annoyance and takes the coffee without a word. I turn to start walking away but then turn back.

“You know I’m not an intern Frank, I’m a production assistant and I’ve been working with the actual equipment for years, you can give me more technical tasks.” I say bravely, trying to hide any obvious anxiety in my voice.

It was true, of course my job title wasn’t the most renowned, but I had become well known and appreciated on sets due to how well versed I was with technology, that of course was until Frank took over.

He looks up at me, as if offended. “Well last time I checked I’m your boss and I don’t give a shit.” He says with a curt laugh. “I think I know what I'm doing I don’t think I need you to be telling me how to do my job.” He says harshly.

“Ok, sorry.” I say with false sincerity, biting my tongue to hold back the many profanities I wished to inflict upon him. As I start walking away, he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Is this fucking whole milk?” He asks in disbelief, stopping me in my tracks.

You’re fucking kidding. I look at him over my shoulder, confused.

“You just said you wanted a latte sir you didn’t clarify anything about the kind of milk.” I say with a thin smile.

“I always have oat milk in my latte you should know this about me!” He says, aggravated and shoving the cup into the hand of a passing intern. “Throw this away.” He demands her and she nods quickly in compliance and then he turns his attention back to me.

“That’s ridiculous I have never gotten you coffee before how am I supposed to know what kind of-! Forget it.” I say turning away to keep walking as I knew that no matter how good of a defense I had, arguing with Frank was like arguing with a brick wall. He was a stubborn bitter man.

“Yeah, if you can’t even get a fucking latte right that’s probably why you’re not working behind the camera.” He says with a crude laugh, and I quickly blink away the hot tears stinging in my eyes. Crying when angry was probably one of my most embarrassing tendencies. I make my way back down the hall, coworkers staring at me with concern after my obviously distasteful interaction with Frank.

── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ── ── ࣪˖ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ ──

I sat in my car with my head on my steering wheel, still in the parking lot of the set as I tried to regain myself after all the frustrations of the day before I left. I sit up and sigh, putting my car into reverse. It was a quiet drive home, the radio quickly silenced as every song playing only seemed to further my annoyance.

I pull into the driveway of my house, wishing I had other plans to prolong my arrival. The house itself wasn’t the issue, it was in a quiet neighborhood in North Hollywood, it was a humble yet comfortable rental home with a cream-colored exterior, a warm wooden interior, a short red brick staircase with bushes lined up by the entrance.

The issue was my fiancé, Logan. We’ve been dating for 2 years and just got engaged this year. Everything started great until I slowly started to see red flags, him lashing out over minuscule inconveniences, random negative comments about me that he plays off like jokes, and the way he always seems to victimize himself in every argument we have. His family has a history of mental health issues and every time I try to bring it up to him, he gets angry, claiming that he’s a not a “crazy person” whatever that’s supposed to mean, or he claims that it’s my fault he acts the way he does. But we’re engaged and I'm almost 30 and still not married, our families have the expectations of our marriage and he’s not awful all the time. I still love him. But these days it was just difficult to be around him sometimes.

I get out of the car and walk into the house, finding him sitting on the couch drinking a seltzer in the dark, the only light being the glow of the tv. I turn on the living room light and he looks at me with annoyance.

“Hi.” I say curtly, putting my bag on the ground and laying my boots next to it.

“Hey.” He replies, equally as unenthusiastic, taking another long sip of his drink. I looked at the coffee table to see about 5 other abandoned cans. He’s been drinking a lot more than usual recently, he used to barely drink at all. “What’s for dinner tonight?” He asks and I bite the inside of my cheek, frustrated.

“Logan you were supposed to make dinner tonight.” I remind him softly, trying not to lose my temper and start an argument.

“No, it’s your night.” He says in a bored tone, not providing any defense for his accusation and not turning his attention away from the screen.

I knew from the bottom of my heart it was his night, we had assigned tasks for the week. His job today because he gets off work before me was to get groceries and make dinner for us. I don't even bother trying to defend this, knowing it’ll get me nowhere. I walk to the kitchen. Fine, I'll just suck it up and make dinner. I need to be fed one way or another. I opened the fridge to see it was mostly empty besides fruits, drinks and condiments.

“Logan did you not go to the grocery store?” I ask from the kitchen.

“Forgot.” he replies dully.

I feel my eyes burning with tears again and rub them away. Work has been hell today and all I wanted was to sit down in peace and eat a hot meal. I walk into the living room and Logan looks up at me, seeing my fuming expression.

“Why don’t we just order something?” he asks with shrug and annoyed tilt of his head. “I’m hungry and I know you are too.” He says trying to reason with me.

We’re on a budget, rent here is expensive and although we both held decent jobs it still wasn’t enough for constant luxuries beyond rent and groceries. But at this point I'm so exhausted and just want to eat.

“Whatever, just order a pizza, something cheap please.” I beg and walk down the hall to our room that was adorned with house plants and my photography framed on the walls, flopping onto the bed looking up to the ceiling. In moments like these I just can’t help but wonder what I’m doing with my life. Of course I'm lucky to have a job in production, so many people dream of that. But from a young age my real dream has always been photography. But it’s such a competitive industry that I finally just gave up on the idea of it, I needed a job that would sustain me. But at this point with rent going up and my mental health spiraling, even that doesn’t even feel worth it anymore. But I don’t have a choice, the industry is oversaturated right now and I'm lucky to even be holding my current job. I feel my phone start to vibrate besides me and turn it over to see that it’s my friend Kass calling me.

“Hello?”

“Hey dude, you ok? I saw Frank Fuckface was giving you a hard time earlier?” she asks gently.

I laugh softly at her nickname for him. “Yeah, you know Frank, he was just being a dick. Got mad I didn’t get oat milk for his latte when he didn’t even ask me for it.” I say with a scoff.

“Seriously oat milk? That’s a little fruity Franky.” Kass says and I laugh.

“Stop it!” I say and she laughs.

“I’m just saying unless you have an intolerance caring that much about what kind of milk is in your coffee is a little gay!” She says, both of us laughing.

Not that there would be anything wrong with him being gay, but he has not made his far right ideals and obvious homophobia very secret. He’s not the type to be careful about posting his opinions on social media.

“You know you can leave too... right?” Kass asks, turning serious and I sigh. Kass had recently put in her two weeks to leave the company. My work life was now going to be even more miserable without her. She has a new job lined up, but ironically enough it was to be a crew member for a tour of my ex best friend’s immensely successful band. I guess that’s just what happens when your friends have a web of attachments to each other.

“Kass...” I start with a sigh, already knowing where this was going.

“I’m serious (Y/n) I could easily hook you up. Or you could hook yourself up if you would just make up with Josh!” She argues. “Imagine how fun it could be. Us on the road escaping from all this bullshit, helping with these amazing shows! Their music is phenomenal, and you know it.” She points out.

She wasn’t wrong, I was happy for Josh in that aspect, I never had any wishes against his success, him and Tyler worked incredibly hard and deserved all of the success and adoration they got. “Of course I know that, they are talented. But I have a life here now, even if work sucks, I still have a fiancé and I'm getting married in a few months.” I say, hearing my own voice falter at the thought. “Plus, I just can’t be around Josh like that, I’m still hurt by everything.” I say softly.

“I know.” She says gently and there was a momentary silence. “But if you change your mind...” She says playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

“Nooo.” I groan.

“He’s back in LA right now!” She says in a singsong voice.

“KASSSSS!”

“Ok fine, dropping it.” She says laughing. “I just wish I could keep working with my bestie.”

“I know, me too.” I say sadly, my chest suddenly feeling heavy with emotion.

She changes the subject, and we talk for another half hour until she had to go. The happiness from talking to Kass quickly faded when I came back to my dull reality, the house was quiet besides the hum from the ceiling fan and the incoherent voices coming from the Tv in the living room.

Maybe it was crazy, but I couldn't help but feeling a sense of yearning for the life that Kass had described to me. I can imagine it now. Seeing new cities every week, exploring with Kass, being cramped but content in a tour bus with likeminded coworkers, late night gas station runs, bonding with Josh, Tyler and Mark again... My heart stings at the thought.

Josh and I were long term friends. We met in 2010 through a few mutual friends. Ever since that point the rest was history, we spent countless days lounging around each other’s places, going to gigs together, me going to his own band’s gigs, hanging out at each other's work places when things were slow...

We were inseparable. When Josh met Tyler, he quickly introduced me to him. I got along with him effortlessly, we all formed our own little group with the three of us and the boy’s other mutual friends. I helped Tyler and Josh with their creative ventures with the band, me and Mark often acting as their camera crew. I did photography for them and promoted the band around as much as possible. Those were the days. I didn’t know it, but things were just so much simpler, they were fresh, new and exciting. Josh and I fell out of contact in 2013. He had started dating a girl by the name Sophia the previous year. He was head over heels for her and I supported him in every way. He seemed happy with her. Josh even brought her to hang out with the group sometimes. I always tried to make her feel welcome and even create a bond with her, but she just never returned the same energy.

Over time Josh became less and less available to hang out. I understood, he had a girlfriend after all, it was normal for him to want to spend time with her. But it got to a ridiculous point where I finally confronted him about it. I look up at my ceiling reflecting on the memory.

January 12th, 2013.

I sat on a wide leather couch with Josh, his legs sprawled across it while I sat in the corner of it, my head leaning against the wall. Mark and Tyler in the other room filming a video Josh had already completed his part for. It was the first time he and I had been alone together for a prolonged amount of time in months. We had been chatting and laughing about random things, but I finally gained the courage to ask the question that had been pressing me for so long.

“Josh?” I ask softly, my voice holding an air of somberness.

“Yeah?” He lifts his head up, sitting up halfway and bracing himself back with his hands. His expression held slight concern, yet a strange look of expectancy. Like he knew what he was going to hear, or like there was something he wanted me to say.

“Why haven’t we hung out just the two of us in so long?”

His expression falters. “Well, you know with us releasing an album under a label for the first time and being with Sophia I don’t know things have just been... busy" He stutters slightly.

“I know I know.. I understand things have been hectic for you guys, I’ve been seeing it firsthand. It’s just that... It always used to be us... You know?” I let out a shaky breath. I was never good at any kind of confrontation. “I just... miss you man.” I say sadly.

Josh fully sits up, his hands on his knees as he looked at me. “I know I... I miss you too.” He says genuinely yet almost sounding guilty.

There was a silence.

“Can I be honest with you (Y/n)?”

“Of course.” I say, a nervous anticipation swirling in my stomach. I don’t even know what to expect.

“Sophia doesn’t want us to be friends anymore...” He says slowly.

There was a long pause.

“Why?” I ask, a blurry layer over my eyes as they welled up. I had a gut feeling ever since we stopped hanging out that this was probably the situation at hand. I was just hoping it wasn’t true.

“She thinks we’re too close. I-I don’t know she always freaks out about it. She thinks there’s something going on between us.” he says, rubbing his hand over his face.

I scoff. “Well, that’s ridiculous, have you tried to tell her nothing weird is going on? We’re just friends!” I say and he looks down at his shoes at this, not saying anything for a moment. He looks back up at me.

“I’ve told her that so many times she just won't believe me.”

“Well, she should trust you! You’re her boyfriend.”

“I know...”

“So... what do we do?” I ask, looking up at him and he looks to the side, biting the inside of his cheek nervously.

“I guess we’ll only be together when we're with the group... That’s what she asked me to do.” He says, avoiding eye contact and I laugh in disbelief.

“What so we’re forbidden from ever hanging out again?” I asked, standing up and wiping the tears that were dangerously close from rolling down my face.

“(Y/n) she's my girlfriend!” He pleads, also standing up.

“What so that means our friendship lost all value? You aren’t even trying to fix this!” I say, slightly raising my voice.

I hear the noise in the other room quiet and a few moments later Tyler and Mark are standing in the doorway, concerned expressions on both of their faces.

“Guys what’s-” Mark start’s but Josh speaks over him.

“I have been I’ve been trying so hard to fix everything, but I don’t know if I can!” Josh says his voice staggering.

I was silent, looking at the pleading expression in his eyes. “Well... I think you’ve made it abundantly clear where your values lie.” I say with my arms folded over my chest while I walk to the door.

“(Y/n) stop!” He pleads.

“Why should I?” I ask plainly, turning around with a humorless laugh.

“You’re my best friend.” He says softly.

“Then fucking prove it.” I say, turning back around and leaving the building.

That was the last time we had spoken.

Tyler and Mark reached out to me occasionally after the fight. They let it be known that their friendship to me still held despite me and Josh’s falling out, but I slowly fell away from their friendship as well. Not that their efforts didn’t go unappreciated by me, but being with them only when Josh wasn’t around would’ve felt wrong, it would have only remind me that everything had changed. So my relationship with Tyler and Mark held in the way a pair of old high school friend’s would, they’d text happy birthday and send holiday wishes, but we all had our own lives to move on with.

Of course me and Josh’s relationship equated to nothing after everything. We weren’t petty enough to unfollow each other on social media or block each others numbers, we just never talked. Josh would try to text me after the fight, apologizing and telling me he missed me. But I was hurt, his actions spoke louder than words. When I never responded he slowly stopped texting. I suspected this was the work of Sophia, or him just realizing it wasn’t getting him anywhere. I just wasn’t going to reply. Maybe this was petty of me, my stubbornness had never been one of my attractive traits.

But when you’ve had so many people who mean anything to you in your life leave, you just learn to let go. Holding on so hard only hurts more. But no matter how hard I tried to block out the pain of Josh’s absence in my life, it always lingered. It felt as if a part on my soul was missing ever since that day. I rub my hands over my face. Is it crazy to feel that way about an old friend?

“(Y/n) the pizzas here!” Logan’s voice shouts, snapping me out of my trance.

I get up slowly. Yes, it was crazy. I have a new life now, and I have to remain present. I can’t stay stuck in the past forever, it’s time to move on.

I walk down the hall, my socks padding against cold wooden floor. He looks at me, holding the pizza box with a smile. I look up and softly smile back.

[inkyquince]

I'm going to make fun of so many peoole who don't like veilguard. Because....

Veilguard is the spiritual successor to Dragon Age 2

Inquisition is more like Origins, and I would call it the spiritual successor if it wasn't sufficiently lacking in other areas

Now there are dumb fucks out there who only like origins or only like inquisition. It's their entire personality when it comes to dissecting the dragon age games.

I like dragon age a lot because each game is a different genre. Origins is depression melodrama. 2 is a comedy that loves to stop and punch you in the gut every now and then, and shows the prime time when your friends are more your family than blood is. Inquisition is... A political thriller that happens to have magic (and the ugliest graphics. Bruh why is everyone but like three people so deep in the uncanny valley. Why is combat boring). Veilguard is getting to see what it feels like to inherit a situation outside of your control, it's more like an underdog story.

"it has cringy dialogue" and you don't remember origins? You think bioware doesn't dish out cringy dialogue for each game?

"the art style-" is STYLISED. Origins is good looking for graphics that feel outdated for 2009. But it's not realistic looking. 2 had it's budget slashed viciously so it does look wonky especially with their cameo characters. Inquisition, as I've said, feels deeply ugly because there is nothing stylised about it. They went for realistic and now everyones inquisitor is kinda ugly, sorry. People enter the uncanny valley, they always look better in concept art. The three prettiest people we have is Dorian, Cassandra and Josephine. Everyone else enters the uncanny valley of WEIRD looking. It's busted and I'm sorry. Veilguard? Fuckin stellar stylisation. The art, the environments, the magic, is so goddamn pretty.

"you cant control your compa-" yes you can. You can make them attack. Why are you sad about missing out on inquisitions boring combat where you press R. Wow. Amazing.

People have rose tinted glasses for these games. Play them from the first to the last game and I'd say veilguard is FULLY one of the best. I saw some loser on tiktok scream about the iron bull's signature being EXPLAINED in text and not shown?? Saying 10 years and for what?

10 years for a play through, start to finish, took me 55 hours doing ALL of the quests and exploring. From the amazing character creator and the hair physics that inquisition, 2 and origins could never make work. From the beauty of the backgrounds, how each location feels deeply lived in, compared to inquisition where new environments felt plastic and not real. For a finale that had me crying for 20 minutes at the choices I made and knew would make again. For the reveals, for the conversations, for the natural ending for Solas. I only cried in origins after my warden died. I teared up at Hawkes mother dying. Inquisition got no tears from me.

I'm sorry that you're hung up on small details. I have complaints too. Maybe a better fantasy term for trans and non-binary, but honestly the conversations that we're able to have about them? Deeply lovely. I personally wish that one day we can go back to the origins start, where we spend around 20 minutes IN our origin and then go frolicking. I'd kill to see that with the mourn watcher and crow origin so we can be excited when we see them again when we revisit the important NPCS. Personally do want the Lucanis romance to kick off earlier in the game, but he is one of the hardest ones to romance for good reason and it made sense for the character. I miss importing decisions but to be fair, the choices I made in origins wouldn't have shown up that much in veilguard, except maybe Kieran being in the background of some scenes at a stretch, but mostly for inquisition and Hawke. Varric obviously sees a lot of Hawke in Rook (just look at the dialogue wheel) and I wish we got to hear Isabella talk about them.

But these are so little. I have way more complaints about inquisition but I will still play it. I can acknowledge the flaws but if you hold it, or origins on a pedestal, that's just embarrassing for you, that you're stuck on a game, instead of being stuck on the series, in an excellent fantasy setting that keeps being expanded on.

Veilguard let's us say goodbye to Solas in the best way. There was NEVER going to be a happy end for him. Stop deluding yourself that the inquisitor and Solas would have rode off into the sunset. It's frankly embarrassing that themes from inquisition and veilguard flew over your head if you beloved that.

I've seen this same anguish over a sequel and it was for 2, after origins. Now 2 isn't the perfect game. It doesn't even have a proper title. But 2, a decade later, is well loved. It's full of jank, it's got strange coding, but the story has a lot of love. But it wasn't origins, so fans wailed and pissed. But it's a fan favourite these days and Hawke is deeply beloved and remembered fondly to the point that the possibility of their death in inquisition made an impact.

So, basically, get over yourself. None of these games are perfect and yes it took 10 years but I love it. I get to play as a crow for the first time, a faction I've loved since Zevran was able to rizz himself out of being killed. You can play as a Warden again, for the first time since Origins. Griffins are back and they're adorable. Their quest is heart breaking and anxiety inducing. You can play as new factions, ones we didn't fuck around with before, the shadow dragons, the mourn watchers, the veil jumpers. We get several amazing romances, that feel in character. Everyone is bisexual again but have clear preferences. Bellara has a preference for women, Emmerich has a preference for men, Lucanis has Never being in relationship. Taash and Harding might get together, Lucanis and Neve might get together. We get a companion that's trans, we GET to be trans for the first time. In inquisition we have krem but the developers never thought we would want to be trans, so I will happily take what we can get. Could it be better? Always. But I'm not stuck in 2014.

Take off your rose tinted glasses and go fuck that old man and maybe you'll lighten up.

[cat-mermaid]

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion is literally just the Nutcracker

its christmas time so i'm sharing somthing thats been banging around my skull for the past 4 years.

So this movie right?

you know how it all goes, but theres somthing i discovered that i have never seen (and trust me i've looked very hard) anyone mention about the imagery used in this movie

so to start, we all know by now that this series loves to use old fairy tales as source material, the most obvious being Sayaka and the little mermaid stuff. But for years and years the one thing that always stumped me was Homura and all the tooth imagery

what the hell did that have to do with anything? Well years ago finally i found stuff online about her Witch form once being able to crack nuts but then losing its jaw and so on and was still like what does that have to do with anything?

nutcracker? what. does. that. have. to. do. with. anything But heres the deal friends and neighbors:

The nutcracker story most of us know? Its the ballet right? But did you know that play is based on a story?

this is the true Nutcracker fairy tale and the one that the Madoka series is drawing inspiration from. Why does this matter? Because the play leaves out the depressing as hell origin story of the nutcracker, how he got his curse from trying to save the princess, and how she cast him away once she was cured and he became ugly. The whole thing parallels Madoka's and Homura's story: Hom being the nutracker and maddy the princess, Hom going back in time again and again to "crack" fate and save Madoka, Mado becoming the Law of Cycles (princess being cured) and "abandoning" Hommy

Crazy thing, i actually knew this original story, i just didn't know it untill i started doing research. It was in a movie from the 90s that used to be on the disney channel every xmas! I just always thought this segment was created wholesale just for this one movie!

so having explained all that, we get to what this post is really about:

HOW ALL OF REBELLION IS LITTERALLY JUST A RETELLING OF THE FUCKING NUTCRACKER

and how the movie is fucking jam packed with christmas imagery, they just hid it really really well

FIRST OFF, ALL THE CHRISTMAS IMAGERY🎄

xmas prezzies on the walls in the 1st pic, 2nd pic prezzie on the bottom right🎁

all the stuff on the far right and left

xmas tree🎄

xmas tree🎄🎄

fuckin xmas tree🎄🎄🎄

ANOTHER FUCKING TREE🎄🎄🎄🎄

prezzie bottom left🎁

more prezzies and that mushroom is looking very sussy (candycane)

look at it🎁

LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT ALL THAT ON THE RIGHT

oh oh ooooooh not enough for you?

reindeer skulls🦌

fucking reindeer PULLING A THING🦌

and don't get me started how much they sneak in snow flakes-

-and also love to throw random white stuff in the air to give the feeling of snow fall:

And this part? The part that always baffled me the most when i first saw the movie, because what the hell-

-is up with all these fucking clocks and owls? I mean yeah its tied to her time powers i guess but whats with the owls?

oh shit i reached my image limit uh

🎄TO BE CONTINUED GIMME A SEC🎁

okeedokke part two

and paaaart three

[applestorms]

i was just gonna leave this as a comment, but my response started spiraling sooooo. guess i'm makin' this a full on post lol =3=" uhh anyways, responding to @skyborneveggie's tags on this post:

#really good analysis #always here for high-functioning depression light takes #i want to add; while Light is better at reading & manipulating people in the moment he also tends to overlook some things in the long run #because of his superiority complex #like his father volunteering for the eyes in matsuda's place #and matsuda in the ending. As much as i like to think of matsuda as wholesome- #-i do think if light played his cards right he could have manipulated him over to kira's side #but he didn't because he didn't think matsuda was important in the grand scheme of things

very good points!! about matsuda in particular— it’s interesting in retrospect how consistently he’s set up as a side character, particularly with how he is almost always immediately pushed off to the side despite that. like, alongside soichiro, he’s really the first member of the JTF we see pre-lind l. tailor (in the anime, anyway. in the manga it’s a bit more ambiguous, though matsuda definitely shows up to mention KIRA bringing the crime rate down in ch.3, still quite early).

he’s always the one counterpoint within the group, playing devil's advocate in a way with how he brings up the pro-KIRA side of things, yet as you say light underestimates him So consistently that he even ends up evolving into a full on joke/shakespearean fool character by yotsuba, which is really what makes his actions in the end so incredibly significant.

i distinctly remember reading that section where aizawa & mogi are getting more deeply involved with near and, in the case of aizawa in particular, are starting to genuinely consider the possibility that light might be KIRA, and just getting sooooooo so SO goddamn suspicious of what matsuda was doing. this was in part because i already had some spoilers about the ending, specifically about matsuda shooting him, but goddamn do his actions start looking suspicious when you begin taking him seriously as a threat. like, while aizawa is starting to live through his own psychological horror novel come to life, realizing that the innocent kid & strong leader he's been taking care of & following all this time might actually have been the fucking serial murderer they've been after for literal Years, here's what matsuda is up to in the background:

(light's face here. fuckin freak LMFAO)

(this one is particularly notable to me as it shows that even aizawa underestimates him— it's not just light, it's the whole damn team. even ryuk joined in earlier.)

(and of course, my absolute favorite example. the contrast between their expressions alone here is absolutely golden all on its own, but matsuda's heartfelt "don't worry, light!! i'll never betray you!!!" in comparison to THIS only makes it all the more juicy:

like, light doesn't even bother responding to him until he's got a goddamn bullet in his hand. he just sits there confident in the expectation that matsuda will lick his soles like a dog. jesus fucking christ.)

anyways, as i was saying: he's mostly just doing a bunch of dumb shit, making silly jokes in the background, fucking around with ryuk and being written off as an idiot by most characters, especially light but again also aizawa and ryuk. AND YET. he is Always hanging around over light's shoulder, lurking somewhere behind him in almost ever panel he shows up in, perfectly innocent to the point where it's can almost be more off-putting than if he were outwardly, actively questionable. like, this panel in particular, and i mean goddamn, just look at it again:

it hits So Hard in retrospect, not just because matusda is the one to shoot light in the end, possibly being his cause of death had ryuk not stepped in when he did, but also because it's true. as incredibly fucking suspicious as this panel may seem if you are armed with the knowledge that matsuda does, eventually, end up being the one to shoot light, it's equally easy to write it off as normal dumbass matsuda behavior because that is Exactly What It Is. and you would be right!! matsuda is trusting of light to a fault— when he eventually breaks, it is Not due to his own betrayal. it's the evidence of light's. and not just of his manipulation of the task force, for years and years and years on end— it's soichiro's death specifically that finally makes matsuda lose his faith in him.

the idea that light could've manipulated matsuda over to KIRA's side had he just tried a little harder is fascinating, but i think i can also understand why he didn't exert any more effort— it was kinda unnecessary. for basically the entire story, from the moment matsuda is formally introduced, to the minute light breaks and admits he's actually KIRA, matsuda is one particularly dedicated conversation away from being a full-on KIRA supporter— or so light believes, anyway. and he's probably not that far off.

really, i'm of the opinion that it's matsuda's existence as this KIRA-sympathetic figure in the task force in the first place that causes light to believe so strongly that he could eventually convert the entire JTF over to the side of KIRA— possibly even saving all of them their lives in the process. like, as i've said before, for all that light monologues about how he's Definitely Going To Kill The Task Force, Don't Worry, I Can And Will Do It When I Have To, he. never actually does it. instead, light goes through all the trouble of keeping the JTF strung along behind him for more than half a decade following L's death, holding on to all of these strings of his former life even when they are almost undoubtedly more of a pain than they're worth. unable to kill his father, unable to kill misa, unable to kill matsuda— even when he directly tries to.

i forget which post this was on, but i believe someone pointed out before that potentially a major part of light's grief following soichiro's death comes from the fact that he springs a shock on him at the last minute before passing: soichiro never stopped suspecting his son. when he sees light's lifespan above his head his first thought is to be relieved, because the question he's held at the back of his mind for Years has finally been undoubtedly assuaged. light is desperate to believe up until the end that he can make the world truly and genuinely pro-KIRA; his final actions in the moments of clarity before he starts begging at ryuk's feet for his life involve an enthusiastic speech as he makes one final bid at converting the JTF and SPK to join him and believe in his vision of Justice.

and yet. he never quite gets mastuda.

never bothered? or never could? perhaps a bit of both, but it's a fascinating character progression nonetheless, and easily one of the most interesting arcs in the series. poor, poor mastuda, indeed.

sidenote: this is a somewhat half baked thought, but i can't help but make a somewhat minor connection between light's treatment of matsuda and his treatment of misa, as well as his relationship with takada. like, let's think through the list of his main (human) supporters throughout the series, the ones who end up taking on the title of KIRA themselves: in the first half, misa, in the second, takada & mikami. if we add matsuda to this list, we get two mirroring pairs: misa & matsuda for the front half of the series, takada & mikami for the latter.

light's treatment of each of these pairs is quite different, despite the fact that they all essentially fulfill the same purpose to him: misa & mikami act as KIRA's eyes, killing those light is unable/unwilling to himself, while takada & matsuda fill the role of KIRA's spokesperson, albeit to very different audiences. thus each half of each pair executes a different side of KIRA's ideology: misa & mikami the practical side, becoming killers themselves, and takada & matsuda the persuasive side, pointing out the positive influences KIRA's actions have had on the population to The People and the rest of the task force respectively.

it's not quite as simple as i've laid out here, of course— tadaka eventually ends up killing before she dies at light's hand herself, misa lives as light's partner until she loses her memories and never quite recovers, mikami becomes quite static, just playing at a killer for Appearances, until his actions eventually end up accidentally betraying light and leading to his downfall. yet it still seems notable to me that despite light treating takada & mikami noticeably better for the majority of the time that he's working with them, those two are the ones who eventually end up dead, betrayed and betrayer respectively. yet, in the case of misa & matsuda... for all that light degrades them and treats them like shit, those two are the ones that get to live on past him while remaining stubbornly loyal until the end, until light's own actions twist back and smack him in the head.

i think perhaps part of the reason why light never ends up converting matsuda is not just his own ego blowing Shit outta proportion and assuming that matsuda will either very easily convert/is too much of a dumb liability to even bother with, but also light's own discomfort with having followers at all. like, it really takes him that full time skip to get fully on board with the idea that people will Submit to KIRA, despite the fact that he logically must know how necessary that is. light wants the recognition and love and commitment of other people, but he doesn't necessarily want the responsibility of their own stupid actions— a sentiment perhaps reflected in how easily he kills criminals, seeing their "evil" as something to be Purged, an annoyance just as much as a liability for the happiness of the Good, Pure People of the world.

as i've outlined before, misa is the main person who's enthusiastic submission consistently gets on light's nerves and icks him the fuck out, but i can't help but wonder if this same reaction applies at least in part to his distaste of matsuda. it's easier to get away from matsuda at least, considering he doesn't have to play the Good, Heterosexual Boyfriend around him, but that doesn't mean it isn't still somewhat present either. this also gets interesting if you start considering lawlight dynamics during yotsuba as well, and L's similar (if somewhat more overt, even) dislike of matsuda during that era BUT. that'll perhaps have to wait until another essay lolol =3=

[ultralightpoe]

Midnight Rain - Jamie Tartt

Authors Note: I have been trying to find any sort of energy to post and get out of bed. Got so close to giving up on life itself and I'm barely back, please bare with me as I try to find my way out of my depression hole I have dug for myself everyone. I know it's been a minute but life has been kicking my ass. Be patient with me - Ultralight

Word Count: 4274

Warnings: slight angst

Apart of my MIDNIGHTS EVENT. (Next Event is Sour by Olivia Rodrigo. Requests closed. Event following yet to be decided)

SOUR EVENT

MAIN MASTERLIST

Enjoy!

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

It was an odd thing, falling for a famous person with everyone watching you both, it felt like every private moment had been laid bare to the world for them to mock and laugh at. There was nothing normal about it. 

But then again there was nothing normal about the way you and Jamie Tartt had met. 

You thought of this as you left the Richmond Stadium, glasses covering your eyes as you did your best to hide your face from the flashes, your bodyguard holding the small of your back as he pushed you forward. 

“Just a few more steps until we are in the car.” He informs, blocking a poster from being shoved into your face. 

By the time you are shoved into the air conditioned car you risk a look back at him, and this is the moment all the paparazzi catch a picture of your tear stained face. 

You wish this had never happened.

“I just don’t understand.” You whine, eyes cast up to the ceiling of the building, swirling in the chair as your manager tapped her pen on the desk in front of you with an unamused expression. “I didn’t do anyth-”

“YOU WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT WITH YOUR COSTAR!”

“......And?”

“HE WAS MARRIED!” In your defense he had never mentioned his wife and how the hell were you supposed to know? He never wore a ring, he was always in costume and character so it wasn’t like you had talked about his family at all. 

That being said, you felt horrible when you found out, and then your surprised face had been printed onto every magazine and gossip site known to man, which made you look like the homewrecker and him like the lost puppy husband.  What a scuffing tool. 

“So what on earth does this have to do with Jamie Tartt?” You had never heard of him before, not that you were a football fan in general, but you did kind of recognize him from some cheap reality show. 

“He is looking for a change in image, a happy healthy family image.” Your manager explains. 

“So you want me to be his pretty little wife?” You snark, lifting your voice until you're whispering like a 50’s pinup girl and batting your eyelashes at her. “Should I make him dinner every night and kiss him sweetly-”

“How many job offers have you gotten lately?” She snaps, slamming your gossip mags on the desk in front of her. 

She had you there, since he had played victim you had close to no job offers, your image had been destroyed by that pompous man.  

So it seemed Jamie Tartt was your only option. You would play the role of your sweet girl. 

My town was a wasteland

Full of cages, full of fences

Pageant queens and big pretenders

But for some, it was paradise

Your face was printed everywhere by the next morning and Jamie Tartt couldn’t help but try and throw as many of the magazines and papers away during his early morning jog with Roy. 

“The fuck are you doing?” Kent snaps, crossing his arms, his back straight and his eyebrows pinched. 

“I don’t fuckin’ know mate!” Jamie snaps, face bunched up as he panics, the stack of papers in his hands heavier than he thought when he makes eye contact with your photo. You looked so sad he felt his heart shatter. “I jus’ don’ want any of these fucks seein her like this, ya know?”

“Everyone has phones.” His running partner points out and Jamie sighs of disbelief. “Come on, you massive twat.”

With that Roy starts running again and Jamie is forced to drop the magazines in the trash, picking up his speed to catch up with his coach, heart racing against his ribs. 

After this he would call you, maybe try to clear the air. After everything you both went through he was sure you would at least want to talk to him……right?

“So…..I just go to the restaurant…..for the date you set up for me?” Jamie asks, confusion laced in his tone as he stares at his ex girlfriend and now his social media manager. “I just don’t get it Keeley.”

“It’s not something you get, ya?” She smiles, rubbing his shoulders. “Just trust me Jamie, I think she will be good for ya.”

“And she’s interested in me?” There was a small excitement in his chest now, the feeling of being adored always enough to boost his ego. “Then I think I can give this a chance, ya?”

So he did give you a chance, he showed up (late) wearing simple workout gear and asking the host about your reservation. She gives him a disgusted up and down look before side-eying him as she points to a table in the far back. 

You were there, your nose in a book, and not caring about anyone else in the restaurant. And he instantly knows he should have dressed up more, he figured you would be some fangirl and would like him as he is. But now he sees that he looks like a massive twat who showed up late and not dressed up at all. 

“Y/n?” He asks slowly, reaching a hand up to fix his hair subconsciously. Nerves were getting the best of him and when you finally looked up he could not think straight, let alone breathe. It’s like life stopped short. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah? Jamie Tartt I presume?” You ask and he can do nothing but nod. “Why don’t you sit, the paps are going to be here in no time.”

“Paps?” He asks, lunging to sit in front of you, fixing his hair once more. 

“They follow everywhere. I haven’t ordered yet, even though you were late.” 

“Right. Yeah. Thank you for waitin’.”

My boy was a montage

A slow-motion, love potion

Jumping off things in the ocean

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice

He had been one of the sweetest fake dates you’d ever had in your career, and for a couple minutes you wondered if it was a real date, only to laugh it off as a camera flash caught him in the middle of a dramatic retelling. You had to remind yourself that night that it was fake. It was all fake. 

But the kiss you gave him outside the restaurant felt more real than anything else you had felt before, and when you had pulled away your hands were shaking. But he simply smiled and kissed your cheek before disappearing. 

You had exchanged numbers that night, so you wouldn’t have to go through your managers everytime you needed to meet. And that had worked well for the first 2 weeks. 

He had gone from making you laugh at coffee to texting you at 3 am. And though you had a red flag in your mind about the professional boundary you ignored it because why not? If you were forced to fake date someone then why not have fun?

But now you sat in your empty apartment, legs pulled into your chest as you sobbed, wondering why on earth you had crossed the professional boundary. 

Your phone rang somewhere behind you and a part of you wanted to dive to answer it, already knowing it would be him. But you drew the line in the sand, why run to the water to drown yourself now?

So instead you pulled your throw blanket over yourself and let the world wash away. 

“Is there a reason you called me this early?” You laugh, pulling your coat closer around you as you meet him at the side entrance of the Richmond field. “And when will the paps get here?”

“They won’t be.” He looks proud to say that, excitement crossing his face as he reaches for your hand. “I figured you had enough of them so I’ll sneak ya in.”

His hand finds your own and you are filled with the same warmth of the night you kissed him so you follow him without questions. And he seems ten times happier to lead you to the main field. 

“Okay so there are sooo many rules about being on the field, it’s a bit of bad luck yeah? So don’t tell anyone you were here.” He rambles as you look around before pulling out a ball from his backpack. 

“Oh, what on earth is that?”

“It’s a football?” He laughs, throwing it at you which makes you scream and hit it. It bounces off his forehead with a thud that has you gasping. 

“Oh my goodness I am so sorry about th-” But he merely laughs. 

“I said a football not a handball!”

“You mean a volleyball.”

“A what?”

“Why am I here?” You interrupt, leaning to touch his forehead where the ball hit. 

“I was hoping I can teach ya to play.” He blushes when he says it and for a second you are not Y/n L/n international actress, you are Y/n L/n, dumbass in a soccer field. 

So you spend the night running around the field with Jamie as he teaches you tips and tricks of the game, you are sweating and laughing. 

Then he slips and falls harshly and you are a goner, holding your stomach as you fall over him, cackling. 

“You’re a traitor!” He laughs, catching you before you hit the grass and leaning to tickle you. This ends up being a small wrestling match and by the time it’s over you are both laying in the grass, your head on his chest and staring up at the sky. 

“This was fun.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I am really thankful I picked the call up.” You giggle, looking up to him and before you know it you are leaning up to kiss him. And just as the first time you are left breathless and shaking. Then he smiles at you and there is a red flag once more. But you don’t listen. 

“You wanna come back to my place?”

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed like midnight

“I just don’t understand, yeah?” He rants, walking back and forth in the coaches office as all five of the men stare at him with odd expressions. “Like I woulda understood if she just told me it was a public stunt-”

  “Ah, I see your dilemma here young pup-” Ted starts, only to be interrupted by Beard and Higgins howling while Roy and Trent both stay silent. “It seems to me like you had some deep feelings for this girl….like, oo oh come on fellas help me out here-”

“Love is dead.” Roy supplies. 

“Beats me.” Trent shrugs. 

“I’m blanking-” Beard panics. 

“LUKE AND LEIA!” Higgins rushes only for beard and Ted to turn on him slowly. 

“You ever seen those movies, Higgins?” Ted asks slowly, and everyone in the room stops. 

“No….No sir.But I know they kiss.” He smiles and Ted nods. “Watch em and then get back to me.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Will you blokes help me?!” Jamie snaps and they all turn back to him. “She won’t even pick up her fucking phone.”

“Well……” Roy grunts and everyone sits up. 

“Oh boy, Roy is about to open up. Buckle in.” Ted giggles. 

“I think if you truly love the lass then you should be Jamie about it and go do what Jamie does.”

“And what does Jamie do?!”

Weeks and weeks of this, dates at restaurants and secret dates away from the paps that relentlessly followed you, and then he would spend the night with you in your apartment. Which was never a requirement but gee what a bonus because you managed to take his breath away with every kiss. 

One tug and his soul is gone, one bite and he is swearing himself to you. 

But his favorite moments between the two of you were when he was laying in your bed, the sunlight streaming through your curtains as you kissed your way up his back to wake him up. In this room you never had that actress pretense you swore by, in this room you were just Y/n. Queen of his heart. 

“I think it’s time to wake up.” You whisper, nipping at his ear as he smiles. 

“Or we can just sleep in…..” He offers. 

“You have a huge game today, and I have my first session on my new film.” 

“A new film?”

“Yeah! I’m playing the love interest, a bit weird when I have to kiss someone dressed as an alien but who am-”

“So you’ll be kissing someone then?” 

“Well acting…. Just like the sex scene is acting and this relationship is-” You are cut off by the sound of his phone ringing but something in his ears screeches. 

It came like a postcard

Picture perfect, shiny family

Holiday, peppermint candy

But for him it's every day

You were right back where you started, swirling in your manager's chair as she glared at you, only this time you felt like there was a gaping hole in your chest that you couldn’t seem to fill. This entire idea had been a mistake. 

“You are right back where you started, but with ANOTHER SCANDAL!” Your manager shouts, slamming the pen onto the table and reaching to grab the tabloids laid to the side. You didn’t bother to look since you already knew what would be plastered all over them. 

You were now not only known as the woman who cheated on Jamie fucking Tartt but you were the reason the team lost their game. You were bad luck. 

A whore. A homewrecker. A lame actress. A waste of space……. But those were just the things that Jamie had said. The public had many many more things to say about it all. 

Your heart stung at the thought of him, trying your best to erase the image of him as tears sprung in your eyes, picking up your stuff as fast as you can before you storm out. 

You didn’t need to be told what a fuck up this was, you already knew it. 

“So… the other day, when we were lying in bed?” Jamie starts, leaning against the wall of the coffee shop as he stares into your eyes, letting you play with the zipper of his jacket. Your back was pressed to the wall as he covered you from the paps, all that could be seen was your legs and at this moment you couldn’t be more happy. 

You, as much as you hate to admit it, loved hanging out with Jamie when it wasn’t a performance. 

“You mean when you forgot your underwear in a rush to leave?” You tease, enjoying the nervous look that crosses his face. 

“Well, you said something that just…. It made me nervous, yeah?”

“What made you nerv-” 

“JAMIE!” A voice calls, breaking you both out of the small trance that had built up between you, both of you taking a step back from each other. You keep a hand on his chest, his own flies up to keep it there as he smiles at the man who interrupted you both.  “DANNY ROJAS!”

“Oy, keep it down, Mate!” Jamie laughs, pulling you to the man dancing. “Danny this is Y/n, Y/n this is Danny.” 

“Wonderful to meet you-”

“You coming to the game?” Danny asks, face filled with excitement. For a moment you want to say no, there was no need for a public appearance at his game, but then you look to see the hopeful expression on Jamie’s face and you feel yourself smiling. 

“If handsome is okay with me going?” You ask, eyes not leaving Jamie. He gets excited, rushing forward to kiss your cheek. 

“I’ll save you a seat!” 

So I peered through a window

A deep portal, time travel

All the love we unravel

And the life I gave away

Jamie found himself running the next morning, thinking about what fucking Kent had said. “Jamie Tartt would fuck it all up of course.” 

Fuck it up? Roy Kent is saying he would fuck it up? That wanker didn’t know anything at all, and Jamie would never fuck it up. 

But then he finds himself at your doorway, sweaty and nervous as he tries to figure out how the hell he got here. Fuck fuck fuck. 

Just as he goes to dash off the door swings open, revealing your tear streaked face staring right at him. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I have no fucking clue.” He blurts, hands flying up like you are about to swing at him. But you don’t, you merely stare at him as he stares back with a heavy heart. “But I am here…..and I’d love to talk.”

You were thrilled, looking around the stadium with wide eyes as everyone cheered for Jamie. You had seen this man in his element many times, you knew he loved the game but you had never seen him in his element surrounded by his fans. 

This was one heck of a thrill. 

He was cheering with them, and yelling, and honestly just owning the field (or Pitch as the coach had explained). You could do nothing but watch in amazement as the two females beside you cheered them on as well. 

But that’s when things started to go sideways. 

You had just been cheering Jamie on, jumping up in your seat when he made the goal, when you saw your old co-star from the corner of your eye. The pompous asshole that forgot to mention he was married. Within a second of making eye contact he was nodding his head, moving closer to you, mumbling out excuse me’s to book it to you. 

For an instant you think of telling him to piss off, but for some reason you didn’t want the group of people you were sat with to realize that you were a homewrecker, whether you meant to or not that's embarrassing. So you let the panic get the better of you and dash to meet him halfway, tugging on his jacket to drag him up the stairs. 

“What the fuck are you doing-” You start to ask, anger coursing through your veins but when you whirl to glare at him his hands are on your jaw pulling you in for a swift kiss as cameras click in the background. 

In a moment of panic you gasp out, only to swing your hand quickly so slap his face harshly. The sound rings out in the hallway followed by multiple ‘oohs’ as you twist to walk away quickly. 

But the damage had been done already, and twitter was on the jump already. 

'Cause he was sunshine

I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

You watch him in amazement for a moment, eyebrows raised while you tried to process the words he just said. He stares back for a moment, tilting his head while he waits for your response, but you can’t think of a single thing to say. 

“I think we already said enough,” You start, wrapping your arms around yourself while he shuffles uncomfortably. 

“No, Y/n let’s just-”

“Jamie, just drop it. We both already said what we had to.” You mumble, attempting to close the door before his foot catches in it and he huffs in pain. 

“Just….. Five minutes, that’s all I need.”

“.......Fine,” You sigh, opening the door and letting him in. 

“Um- what the actual fuck?!” Jamie snaps, coming around the corner his phone glued in his hand as he glared at you. “You mind tellin me why the fuck you were lockin’ lips with that wanker?!”

“Wait, it’s not what it looks like-” You start, but he is too mad, sneering at you when you try to reach for him. 

“So you weren’t actin’ like a whore with a man while I was playing my game?!”

“Excuse me?” The feeling of panic vanishes, replaced by another wave of anger as his words settle in. “Coming from the dumbass that was in Love Island?”

“It was Love Conquers All, I’ll have ya know!” He scoffs.

“Not to mention I don’t owe you anything! THIS IS A PR STUNT!” You shout, not caring at the amount of paps that were beginning to swarm. 

“A pr stunt?” He asks, face falling as he looks at you. “You mean to tell me that you have been dating me for-”

“Pr. Yes. This entire thing has been PR. Did you not know that?” That laugh that slips from your lips is bitter,  eyes welling up with tears. Dear god, did no one tell him?

“Right, so this entire time I have been used by a lame ass actress? You been using my fame to get roles? Is that it?”

“More like I have been using you to clean up my image after….”

“RIGHT! Sleeping with a married man-”

“He didn’t tell me he was married!”

“YOU COULD HAVE SEARCHED IT UP! BUT YOU HAD TO BE A HOMEWRECKER!”

“YOU ARE A NATIONAL SOCCER SLUT!”

“IT’S FOOTBALL!”

Rain, he wanted it comfortable

I wanted that pain

He wanted a bride

I was making my own name

Chasing that fame

He stayed the same

All of me changed

Like midnight

You watch him shuffle across your living room, jumping up and down on the balls of his feet as he tried to talk himself up,  breathing out slowly as he turns to face you. 

“I have never been good with this whole….feelin’ thing. But then I met you and for a moment I thought I had it, you know? I thought I was gonna get the life with the girl that loved me because everytime I was near ya my heart started cracking through my fuckin’ ribcage.” He begins, rubbing the back of his neck. “Then you are tellin’ me that it was all fake-”

“It wasn’t all fake.” You whisper and he sucks in a breath. 

“It wasn’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t have slept with you if it was.” You scoff, rolling your eyes. 

“I’m sorry for what I said.”

“Me too.”

“I….. I want it to be real.” He admits, taking a step closer. “I know it was all fake……now I do. But I want this.”

“Why?” 

“Because you’re the wind beneath my fucking wings!” He smiles, moving until his hands are on your shoulders. “You make my heart race and you are the only one on this earth that doesn’t seem to mind my massive fuck ups. I fall in front of ya so many times a day, and you’ve seen me flex in a circus mirror and get frustrated and you have seen me-”

“I get it.” You smile. 

“Please, Y/n, just give me a chance back. Let’s make this real.”

“But it might not-”

“We can make it work! If you can learn football then we can make this work.”

You stare at him, and he stares back. For a moment he thinks you are going to say no, and he begins backing up until you nod. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah.” You nod. “Okay.”

I guess sometimes we all get

Just what we wanted, just what we wanted

And he never thinks of me

Except when I'm on TV

  From that point on there was a stark difference between the actress you and the real you. Actress you kissed handsome men on screen and ended up in a tabloid once a week, accusing you of vile things. 

Real you, well real you ate gummy worms in bed with your charming husband that loved hearing all the rumors, reading through them and acting them out like a fake fight. You went to all his games, he showed up to all of your premieres. 

Sunshine and rain mixed into a storm of chaos that both of you loved. 

I guess sometimes we all get

Some kind of haunted, some kind of haunted

And I never think of him

Except on midnights like this (midnights like this)

“Are ye ready yet?” He calls, laying on the couch as he watched the screen before him, laughing a bit when he sees Nate the Great slip on camera. 

“No, I am not!” You snap, rushing into the living room in a panic, searching around. He picks his head up to watch you, laughing a little when you trip over the rug. “What are you lookin’ for?”

“My heels!”

“You are wearin heels to a concert you’ll be jumpin around at?”

“They complete the outfit.” You sigh, watching a smile break across his face. 

“No, lovey, your gorgeous tits complete the outfit!”

“OH YOU PIG-” He laughs as you move to throw something at him, dashing to chase you back. You scream out, dashing up the steps to avoid his clutch as he chases you around the house. 

The next morning you both wake up to the headlines “Football star and movie star late for T Swift concert!”

“Is this all they have time for?” He asks, yawning a bit as you laugh. 

“Apparently.”

[palmtreesx3]

Act 1 - Foreplay

Aphrodisiac (Robin's Chapter)

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Summary: (6.8K) The pair are settling in at The Hideout but not without some bumps in the road, and are exploring the city and sampling a bit of all that it has to offer. Steve is trying hard to find things that he likes to do and he's totally baffled to see Robin so effortlessly spreading her wings. Robin's got a date. A real legitimate, public date and she quickly gets fixated. Meanwhile Steve's got another lonely evening by himself. The pair - well maybe just Robin - gets in the mood in this Robin-centric installment of Act 1. 

Warnings: it's a sex shop and generally just NSFW so 18+. Sex toys and self-exploration, female masturbation, shop talk, fluffy affection, LGBTQ acceptance (which isn't much of a warning, it's a goddamn right), self-loathing, mild depression and *you* make your first appearance.

Almost-July, 1993

What Robin failed to consider when wagering a digital pet bet with Steve Harrington is that this boy was born and raised competitive. She forgot that in the Harrington household "lose" wasn't in their vocabulary. She also forgot just how forgetful she is. Ironic. So it should have been no surprise that in the last 24 hours, her Tamagotchi has been sick three times and was always beeping incessantly. 

"Rob, you're a horrible mother. You're gonna owe me 5 drinks before we even get our first paycheck." Steve gloats, tucking his healthy, happy, bouncing pet into his pocket before sitting down to lace up his sneakers. 

Meanwhile, Robin who is shoving her feet unceremoniously into her Chucks ignores the shit talking and dishes out some of her own. "Dude, we have to do something about this." She kicks her chin in his direction as he smooths out his clothes. 

"What?" Steve snaps back.

"I can't believe you still dress like that. Honestly. 1984 called, they want their Sears Catalog back." 

"Ok Robin, sorry I didn't know you also got a job as the fuckin fashion police."

"I'm just saying, small town Indiana polo fashion ain't gonna cut it in the big city, boy. You wanna keep bagging hotties like you did the other weekend, we'll have to do something. You don't have to dress for mommy anymore." And as she says the last bit she immediately winces "Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean … "

"No it's okay, Rob. I know what you're trying to say. Maybe. Maybe once we have some extra money I'll get something new. You can help me. Deal?"

After a few weeks of exploring, Robin and Steve have zeroed in on quite a few of their own places. A bench they prefer in the nearby park, nestled in the shade of a swaying willow tree; a greasy corner store that sells the best breakfasts to sop up what's left of an evening out; an arcade that makes them nostalgic and think of the kids at home and gives them something to talk about when they call; and this place - a nice little coffee shop tucked in between towering complexes and quaint stores just one block over from their place. There are always records playing of the baristas favorite bands, the coffee is good and strong and cheap and they're always open when they need it. 

Steve and Robin have gone to the coffee shop almost daily since they found it. But this time Robin was out on an errand herself so she popped in on her own to grab two cups to-go and bring back to the apartment, where Steve, no doubt, was still sleeping. Perusing the wall of records in rotation while she waits for her order, Robin is startled by a quiet voice beside her, whispering closer in her ear than she's used to from a stranger. "This week it's good stuff, huh? I'm loving The Smashing Pumpkins new one." the voice says. 

Robin's eyes dart to her left and quickly back up to the wall of vinyls, the stranger's proximity and attention making her squirm just a bit. "My last .. girlfriend. She was into all the pop stuff. Not really my vibe, ya know." And at that, Robin's eyes rise to meet the womans who is standing next to her. There's not much that can actually shut Robin Buckley up, but here's a few: a really fuckin' beautiful girl, eye contact and someone casually talking about their sexuality. It was the perfect storm. 

Robin bit her plump, pink lips and nodded at the stranger, feeling a little ridiculous at the interaction so far. What is she supposed to say? Do I ask her about her ex- GIRLFRIEND? Do people really talk that openly here in the city? I don't even know her name! Robin's voice may be silent but her brain is going a mile a minute.

"Alex." The stranger says. Just as the barista shouts Robin! Your order is up! in the background. 

As Robin reaches across the counter for the two steaming cups, Alex counters "And I'm assuming you, are in fact Robin." with a grin. "No boyfriend today?" She says, and as Robin's eyes twist in confusion, she pipes up again "No no, I'm sorry, I'm not being weird I swear. I just come here a lot and I've seen you guys. Nothing freaky I promise."

"No." Is all Robin awkwardly says, totally deadpan. 

Alex waits for more, but nothing comes. After a moment she chuckles, picking up her own cup of tea and raising it to her lips to take a sip, but not before whispering out "No, what?" in a question. 

"Ha. No. No he's not my boyfriend." Robin says as she plays with the hem of her denim cutoff shorts. 

"Ah, too bad. He's a hottie." Alex shrugs and Robin stands confused. It's happening before she knows it started and Robin's dumpster fire of a brain starts rambling. 

"Wait. What? No he's not my boyfriend he's my roommate and yeah we come here, we're still kinda new in town. We're actually from a small town - Hawkins - but what… I'm sorry I thought you said your ex-girlfriend liked pop music so… "

"Yeah. That's what I said." Alex takes another nonchalant sip of her steaming mug. 

" So .. but Steve. He's… " Robin stutters out. 

"Well he is hot isn't he?" The woman counters. 

"I mean, yeah I guess. He has no trouble with the ladies if that's what you mean. Always Mr god-damned Popular cause he has perfect fuckin' hair but I swear they should see him in the morning, it's not all rainbows and butterflies then!" and the words just keep spouting out of her mouth uncontrollably. 

Alex looks on at her, almost endearingly, as she lets her go and spit it all out. "You done?" She asks. 

Robin nods, mutters an apology for her rambling and starts to head towards the door "I should go. Nice to meet you, Alex."

She shuffles her steps quickly in an attempt to bolt as far away as she can from the pretty girl who she just made a fool of herself in front of. God, I'm gonna have to tell Steve we need to find a new coffee place. Shit. 

"Wait! Wait, sorry. I can be intense." Alex muses, kicking her feet at the chair next to where they stand, before looking back at Robin's flushing face. "Yes, I did say ex-girlfriend. I also said your whatever he is is hot. I'm not stalking you, I just must get my tea when you guys get your coffee and, I hope I don't make you totally run off in terror when I say this next part, but I'm gonna anyway - I have just been distracted by you guys. I thought you were both pretty hot and I was distracted by the coffee shop couple every time I'm here. You were solo today so I thought I'd break the ice. Sorry. I hope I'm not making this weird "

Robin's mouth is absolutely hanging open right now. 

"Yeah, so the tables turned pretty quickly and I'm thinking I'm the one that should be embarrassed right now so, hopefully I see hot coffee shop couple around and I didn't totally scare you away from this place. " 

"Oh God, no. The coffee is too good and too cheap for us to stop coming here. He's not my boyfriend. Steve is 100% my roommate and that's it, no coffee shop couple here. Yeah, he's hot but don't you ever tell him that. Christ, he doesn't need a bigger ego. And the last time I talked to a girl like you I think I peed my pants, so excuse me I'm going to go hurl myself off the Willis Tower, if that's okay with you?"

Alex lets out a deep laugh. A genuine one. She reaches out to touch Robin's forearm, to keep her there… or ground her, she's not sure which. "Please don't. I can't have you falling if it's not for me." and at that Robin's eyes go wide as saucers. "Are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could get dinner? Downtown. Meet here so it's not weird and sketchy first…that is, if your hot roommate doesn't mind I borrow you for a bit?"

She's stunned. Robin has never been asked out on a date before. Is this a date? Holy shit.

She musters up every ounce of courage she has to smile and nod. "I get off work at 6, so can we make it 7?" Only to be interrupted in that moment by the shrill chirping on her keychain signifying yet another dead digital pet. 

A wide, sparkling smile spreads on Alex's face as she starts to head out the door, turning back to shout out "7:00, meet you here. Can't wait! "

And as soon as the bell on the door dings and she's sure it's shut, her brain starts catching up and Robin drops both cups of coffee on the floor. 

Today, Murray is not entertained by Steve. Usually the banter between the pair has remained humorous and for the most part, friendly. Today Steve is just pissing him off. 

First Steve dropped an entire shipping box of condoms, spilling single wrapped rubbers all over the floor. It took him an hour and twenty three minutes and three side-eyeing customers stepping over him to clean them all up. Then Steve knocked over the mannequins like dominoes after he struggled with the BDSM display Murray assigned to him for the second part of their shift. Robin snickered as Murray delegated the task to Steve, knowing damn well it was just to make the boy suffer. Robin watched gleefully, sitting at the register, resting her chin in her hand as Steve grumbled through the entire task. At one point, he was fumbling so much with all of the straps and buckles and ties that before he knew it the head of the mannequin he was attempting to gag toppled off its shoulders and knocked three other mannequins down in its wake. All Steve could do in response was throw the ball gag to the side as he stormed off, yelling back "Tell that asshole I took my 15! I'll deal with the bondage when I get back!" 

As he marches off in anger, Murray does in fact slide over and lean down next to Robin. "How's Casanova doing? BDSM not his thing, I see?" He chuckles. Robin cocks a sideways grin at him shaking her head. "He doesn't even know what his thing is, Murray. He's just a lost little puppy."

"What about you, Red. You doing good?"

"Yeah, yeah I am. I think he's stressed because he's not really finding his thing. He's used to things coming easy for him and they're just… not here."

"What does Mr Hometown Heroes' emotional journey have to do with how you're doing, huh?"

"A lot, actually. He's absolutely a bumbling fucking idiot, but he is the kindest person I've ever known. He has a weird way of showing it, but that's because his parents are Grade A assholes. He's been more supportive to me than anyone on this planet and I am trying so hard to help him but I don't know how." 

"Well, Red, this is a journey of lifelong self-discovery. Ya gotta learn to love thyself before you can love another. That goes for both of you, ya know?" and with that, he pushes off the glass countertop and saunters back to his office while humming an indistinguishable tune. 

When Steve returns from his break Robin recognizes the look on his face. It's the one that comes back ready with his head in the game after an excruciatingly awkward pep talk he gave himself - out loud. If anything, all those years of organized sports at least gave him a method to get himself back on track. 

That's why it was so abysmal to watch as he confidently tried to help a young customer, flowing brunette hair curled and brushed out into bouncy ringlets, asking in a tiny voice behind batting eyes to be pointed in the direction of the Ben Wa. 

"Oh yeah, I got you covered on this! Haven't been here long and I never heard of those before our manager got one for us and just the other day I stopped in at this place that looked interesting… "

The customer's eyes narrow, not sure where Steve is going with this conversation just as Murray joins in next to Robin to watch the drama unfold. He brought popcorn this time and was audibly chomping on it with an open mouth behind a gaping smile. "I gotta see where he's going with this." Tilting the bag towards Robin in an offering as they watch. 

"Yeah, so if you just go down the block a few more streets you'll see a place on the corner. It actually says Ben Wa on the window, so you will definitely see it when you get there. I was surprised at how much I liked it!" Steve says to the miffed young lady as she is heading for the door. "Have a great day! Enjoy!" Steve yells after her.

"What the hell man! Where'd you send the good paying customer!" Murray outstretched his arm towards the door before reaching into his bag to throw a kernel of popcorn right square into Steve's forehead. 

"What the fuck, Murray. She wanted to know where to get a fuckin sandwich. Last time I checked we don't sell sandwiches!" He yells as he spins his outstretched arms from left to right, showing off the wares inside the shop. 

"A sandwich? You fuckin' small town nincompoop, no! Ben Wa. Ben Wa balls. She wanted to put 'em up her coochie you idiot!"

Beet red from holding back, Robin finally lets out a cackle that fills the entire store. "Oh my God, someone get me a white board! You gotta be shitting me. This is better than watching him sink at Scoops, hands down."

"Wa-what are you talking about? Ben Wa - like the sandwich from that Korean place? You got it for us for lunch three days ago!"

"Oh for the love of God. You're pretty but you're dumb. BAHN MI. Say it with me BAAHHHN MEEEE" he overemphasized.

"I-i… well.. what… what the fuck man! I don't know!" 

Meanwhile, Robin is on the floor with tears in her eyes from laughing so hard. 

After Robin gets her shit together and Steve returns to his normal shade of sun kissed peach, ever the educator, Murray fills the pair in on what the customer was actually looking for. Pulling them over to a display case in the rear, a menagerie of colorful metallic, glass and silicone balls are laid out for viewing. All the sizes as big as or smaller than an egg, Murray explains both their practical use as well as how they can be used for pleasure. 

"See some ladies come looking for these after they have a baby, nothing to do with getting off… for now at least … everything to do with tightening things back up again. Just a run of the mill afternoon at the vaginal gym shesh." Steve grimaces as the analogy but nods in understanding. "Girls …or guys - might use them to stretch themselves out a bit and train their holes." Robin looks on, fully engaged and taking all the information in earnest. "They have little weights inside though, so if you're wearing them for a while or they're jostling around there's a whole lotta movement in there if you know what I mean. A few tugs on those strings and you got yourself a party." 

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch, but gnawing at the back of Robin's mind are a bright red pair of Ben Wa balls from the display case, round and smooth and silicone, shaped like two cherries on a lime green stem. She's never owned a toy before, and she's feeling kind of intrigued, so while Steve is in the employee room gathering his things and clocking out, Robin seizes the opportunity to pull the toy from the case and ring it up quickly. She rings up the amount, and hastily keys in her employee discount before slipping them into her satchel just before Steve returns to the floor. 

Robin has increasingly spent her free time idling around town and making her own discoveries. She finds herself often at a community park enjoying some local outdoor music that pops up regularly on the weekends and has stumbled upon a vintage bookshop a few doors down from the coffee place that she has made a comfortable home in their reading nook a few days a week while also making fast friends with the laid back cashier there on the weekends. 

Meanwhile Steve has failed at any attempt to casually find something he likes to do on his own and, as evident today at work, there's something that's got him stressed and Robin thinks this is it. He tried to join her at the community park, but he has yet to get into any of the music they're playing and he joined her once at the bookstore when she excitedly wanted to share her big find with her friend, but he just didn't get the hype after sitting there thumbing through a book he had no interest in actually reading. The apartment doesn't have any cable, and there's only so much coffee shop and Tamagotchi a guy pushing 30 can handle. Needless to say, city life isn't coming as naturally for Steve as it is for Robin and that is throwing him for an absolute loop. 

After a long talk on the fire escape over a cigarette, Robin actually had some wise insight into Steve's problem. "Dude, it's because you don't have any hobbies! Tell me one thing you've ever done because you chose to do it?"

"Robs, I played sports for years! Of course I have hobbies!" 

"No. That's not what I mean. Who signed you up for those? Who made sure you made the varsity team your first year? Who told you to run laps? Do you still play them now? Just cause you convinced yourself you liked it, doesn't mean you actually did."

And that resonated with Steve. He thought about why he actually liked all the baseball, all the nights on the basketball court and all the swim meets - it wasn't because he actually liked the sports, he liked how it made him feel to win. For his dad to give a shit every once in a while. For his teammates to need him. So Steve stayed up late that night, gazing at the stars on that fire escape and thinking long and hard about how he has spent his time - team sports that his dad got him into that eventually made himself feel useful, dialing up radio stations that played music he heard at other people's parties and cassette tapes of other people's favorite songs in his glove compartment, cooking meals that he has to or else he wouldn't be fed. 

The only damn thing he ever chose to do himself was watch out for those godforsaken kids back home and even through all his griping about them, it was always worth it. But driving a bunch of preteens around doesn't constitute an interest. "Fuck man, I don't even know myself." He muses into the late night sky, taking one last long drag before closing the window behind himself and idling off to bed. 

The next day, the two had a late start at The Hideout, and Robin threw her satchel over her shoulder while yelling out to Steve "Dingus, I'm going out to the bookshop for a bit. Need anything while I'm out?" 

"Nah Robs, I'm good."

"Kay - don't miss me while I'm out and you're home sulking!" She pokes, and the door clicks shut behind her leaving him in the quiet. Steve reaches for the radio and as he dials the station over to filter out the static and he's immediately back to thinking about last night. Why am I even putting on this station? I don't even think I like these songs, do I? He thinks to himself. So Steve sets out that morning to try and figure something out about himself. 

Inspired by the records displayed every week at the coffee shop, Steve finds himself fingering through bins of Vinyls at a record shop he found as he walked about the neighborhood. "Anything we can help you with, man?" the employee asks as he approaches. 

" Uh yeah. Actually I think…I mean, I think I want to get some records."

" Oh bud, happy to help! What are you into and what kind of player do you have?"

Steve stares at the man, stubble on his jawline, in a fitted yellow Queen T Shirt that looks worn and soft coupled with his ripped denim. A man that looks like he knows what he likes. Steve's stare is blank and he's absolutely at a loss. "I'm sorry, I have no idea. I should go."

"My brother, music is for everyone. Let me hook you up and we'll figure it out. No need to stress."

The man spends the next hour showing Steve how to use a basic model record player. They try out a few different vinyls to see what he might like. After a while, the pair have a stack piled up next to the record player - Queen, Fleetwood Mac, Tears for Fears, Red Hot Chili Peppers and a few others littered with popular music and rock artists he didn't really know by name before - and Steve is checking out. 

As he's getting ready to hand over a stack of cash to the man that helped him discover what kind of music he likes, they're interrupted by a deep hum, "Now that's a nice stack you got there." Steve turns around and is a little taken aback by what he sees. It's you…and you're standing there all casual and comfortable, looking very at ease in the record shop. "Hey Brian. What's up?" You nod in the kind man's direction.

"Hey hot stuff, I got what you came for back here. Just let me finish up with this guy and I'll get you taken care of. "

"Hi" Steve waves in your direction. "I'm sorry." No one quite sure what he's actually apologizing for in the least.

"No need to be sorry, you were here first. I just came to pick up the new Pearl Jam record and I am in absolutely no rush."

"Pearl Jam?" Steve questions. 

"Yeah man. Eddie Vedder? You might actually like it, all things considered." The man named Brian motions to the eclectic stack Steve has accumulated during his visit. 

Looking back at you standing there, not impatiently, just smiling brighter than the sun, he mutters "Yeah cool. Yeah I mean, if you have another can I add that? I'll give it a try."

And as Steve loads up his wares in his arms and turns to leave, your charismatic smile finds him one last time, " I hope you like it… ." You draw out waiting for him to fill in the blank. 

"Steve." He finishes for you.

You nod, "I hope you like it, Steve"

The next night at the apartment, Robin is gearing up for her date and she is absolutely in her head about it. She has asked Steve one hundred times today if he's sure this is a date. "But Stevie's she .. I really think she might just want to hang out and be friends." 

"Robin, I swear to Christ if you don't just STOP this." Steve sucks in a clipped breath before continuing on. "It's a date. I'm one hundred percent sure this girl asked you on a date and you're going. Relax, please! Fuck, you're stressing me out and I have nothing to do with any of this!" Steve shouts for the last time tonight, leaving Robin in the bathroom doorway, staring at herself in the mirror trying to make herself presentable.

Through the damp hair falling into her vision and the steam still speckling on the mirror after her shower, the girl is trying desperately to hype herself up and get ready to spend time with Alex. But Robin is not a confident creature. She's starting to feel herself crawl back inside the cave forged deep in her personality and carved into the bedrock of Hawkins, Indiana. "I gotta fuckin' snap out of this." She says to her reflection, splashing water on her face and retreating back to her bedroom. 

She hears the new and welcome sound of vinyl scratching from Steve's bedroom, before the reverberation of Fleetwood Mac's The Chain blares loudly through the walls. She sighs, sitting there still wrapped in her towel from after her shower, mind wandering to Alex and her tall, thin frame. Still not sure how a girl like that was referring to her as the hot one, Robin's thoughts drift to the deep black of the woman's mascara, fanning her eyelashes out and emphasizing her deep green eyes. She thinks about how she was too much of a spaz to appreciate the curve of her cupid's bow and she's still not sure if she was imagining the softness of the swell of her hips or not. 

Mixed up in thought, Robin's forearms graze the front of her towel and the rough material scratches at her exposed nipples underneath. She lets out a wispy gasp, not realizing just how turned on she was until that second. Her mind is racing. She looks at the clock and sees she has 20 minutes until she needs to head downstairs to the shop to meet Alex. Immediately she eyes her bedside table, knowing those deep red, cherry Ben Wa balls are sitting just inside. She thinks about what Murray has been saying and all of his preaching about “loving thyself before you can love another, Red!" and with one last racing thought of the woman who actually wants to take her on a date… out in public, she's clamoring for the drawer. 

She has never been more grateful that Steve has picked up a new interest, and that it was a loud one, because as she lets the towel draping her body loosen while she's leaning back into her soft cotton pillowcases she lets out a soft whimper before she's even touched herself once. Robin tentatively lets her soft hands and glossy nails trace the outline of her slit, delicately rubbing and pressing on where she needs it most and experimentally flicking the hood of her clit. After considering things one last time, she purses her eyes closed tight and holds her breath as she guides one of the cherry balls inside her opening. 

The gasp that leaves her throat this time isn't soft and quiet and she finds herself gyrating and writhing as she rubs and tugs at the cherry stems attached to her toy. The weights inside are rolling and undulating just like Murray said they would, sending vibrations up and back down her body. Robin feels filthy, thinking about Alex as she uses her free hand to rub at her clit while still pressing in and tugging at the ball with her other, but not filthy enough to deny how much she is enjoying this game she is playing with herself. 

Robin's eyes are rolled back in her head as her orgasm rushes over her, the weights of the ball continuing to move and rattle inside coax her through her comedown. Thighs shaking and breath stuttering, she lets out a deep sigh "Holy fuckin' shit. I love my job." 

Fumbling and running late after her little self-love session, Robin bounds through the doors of the coffee shop a little dramatically. As part of her grand entrance, she knocks her hip into the chair of the two-top situated right inside the entryway and doubles over at the pain. "Shit." She means to whisper, but instead says at a volume loud enough to reach the back of the shop, and if the entrance alone didn't alert Alex to her arrival, she certainly would have heard that.  

The barista greets Robin cheerfully by name just as Alex walks up to greet her with her hand outstretched, coffee cup there as an offering to break the ice. "I thought you might need a pick me up after work. She hooked me up with your usual order, so… "

Robin feels her freckles burn at the gesture, like they do after a day at the lake in the sun. She catches Alex's eyes scanning her body and she feels her chest flush, no doubt accentuated by the emerald green satin tank that's cut a bit lower than she usually ventures. The deep color making her hair, her eyes and her fair skin pop, covered by a cropped denim jacket DIY frayed at the edges has definitely caught her date's eye. 

"I wanted to pop into this Gallery I really love, if you don't mind indulging my creative side tonight? It's a great spot and… there's a graphic artist showing there now I just gotta check out before it's gone. It's this amazing social commentary on pregnancy as a lesbian. Like a totally butch lesbian decides to get pregnant with her partner, so what now? It's just… I gotta see it. The diversity at this place is phenomenal."

Robin's wide eyes are not white in astonishment this time, but instead they're with pure intrigue and reverence. Knowing that not only are there people like her in this city, but enough people that feel the same or respect it enough to go to an art gallery to check out doodles about a pregnant butch lesbian and it's not the butt of a homophobic joke is… enthralling to her. She nods vehemently "Hell yeah, that sounds…  really amazing. I mean… I'm not used to that kind of transparency, so, yeah. Let's do it."

And as they turn to leave the shop, coffee and tea in respective hands, Robin feels the tickle of a finger brushing her open palm. Barely registering what is happening, she finds herself in a brief yet unnecessary panic as she feels Alex's hand settle in, intertwined with hers. She can't help but scan her surroundings for passerby oggling the two women holding hands and walking down the sidewalk, but she saw not one the whole walk down the block to the train platform. The thrill of holding a pretty lady's hand out in public is sending tingles up her spine, or maybe it's the gentle, internal humming of the Ben Wa balls she opted to keep inside for the evening, but Robin could definitely get used to this. She smirks at herself as they ascend the steps towards the incoming train and asks curiously,"So tell me, what's this artist's name?

Meanwhile, Robin just missed Steve on the same platform not 10 minutes earlier. Shortly after Robin finally headed out, Steve found himself standing in the kitchen staring at a barren refrigerator - nothing more than a carton of milk, some OJ and a row of eggs left in there for him to choose from. He tries not to be irritated at his current situation, but he can't help the groan he lets out as he reaches for the phone, readying himself to order way too much pizza for one lonely guy on his couch late at night. 

Before he finishes dialing he shakes his head, thinking about how he doesn't have to keep himself cooped up here. He has done so much on his own, but all of that was such a… necessity. Is it really that crazy to go off and do something alone without it being totally pitiful? "I mean, Robin goes places by herself all the time." He muses to himself. 

So that's how he found himself hopping off the train downtown and wandering into the first restaurant that looked reasonable and …  good. Not just food but something he might actually enjoy tasting. It's a quaint Italian place. Authentic, by the looks of it. Walls lined with corked bottles of olive oil and limoncello, twinkle lights strewn over the white lattice work ceiling, the unmistakable smell of carbohydrates and garlic. 

This is yet another something he hasn’t ever done before. Not just a quick bite or a fast food, but instead going out to a proper restaurant and sitting down for a real meal. Solo. Alone. Alone but NOT lonely, he thinks. In the past 24 hours since Robin pointed out that he never does anything for himself that he enjoys, he has done a lot of introspection and has made it a point to seek out new experiences hoping something will stick. Sitting at the cozy little restaurant place downtown adorned with faux plants, and filled with tables of other guests, he finds himself so grateful to have Robin’s perspective and support. So instead of worrying about how he's not sharing the table with a date, or Robin or anyone else for that matter, he's toasting to her, in absentia.  

On the other side of town, Robin and Alex find themselves tucked into a booth at a dimly lit, definitely more trendy than she’s ever experienced before in her life, kind of bar. Alex has the table filled with an assortment of bites to eat and has ordered up all of the bartender's signature drinks on a mission to get Robin to broaden her horizons and shake that small town dust off of her coattails. “Ok, so, we have to find something here that you’re into. You can’t just tell me warm beer or straight shots are your drinks of choice - every city girl’s gotta have their go-to cocktail.” 

Robin first confidently grabs at the Manhattan from the selections laid out in front of hrr, recognizing the deep amber of the liquid and the familiar smell of whiskey that reminds her of Steve. It is quickly after she brings it to her lips that she sputters it back out, spraying the cocktail over her hand and most likely, her date. Alex says nothing about it, eyeing the ruby red blush on Robin’s cheeks and chest, but she stifles a small laugh before she says “Got it. No whiskey cocktails. Check. Here, here…cleanse your palate.” She says, handing her a small plate filled with creamy green, roasted artichokes splayed out like a lotus flower. “They’re the best in the city. Stuffed artichokes - ya know? They’re my favorite. Doesn’t hurt that they’re an aphrodisiac, huh?”

And if Robin hadn’t already spit out that whiskey drink, she definitely would have at that. So bold. So brazen. Dumbfounded that even at how blatant Alex has been with her flirting all night, it didn’t prepare her for that comment and the implications it held behind her eyes. And when Robin didn’t move to immediately grab a bite, Alex instead responded by picking up a delicate stuffed petal and holding it out to Robin’s pillowy lips, urging her to open up. She tentatively parted those lips and took a bite, wide-eyed at the flavor and simultaneously at the way Alex’s eyes remained locked on hers. 

Before the end of the date, Robin had successfully spilled a cup of water, knocked over the salt shaker and tried sips of 6 different cocktails before she settled in with a bright orange and red drink in a highball glass, lips wrapped around the straw and playing with the stem of the cherry hanging over the side of her glass. “This one is definitely a winner.” She grins, as she turns to look at Alex, excited to have found something that she likes while simultaneously excited that she finds she doesn’t really care that she did no less than 10 embarrassing things on this date anymore. She doesn’t feel embarrassed in the least and that is still a pretty new feeling for her.

“Why am I not surprised? I should have known.” Alex laughs out.

Robin shrugs, a questioning look in her eye as she sucks down the last of the drink, rattling the ice as the straw drains the cup of the last of it, loud enough to turn a head in the booth next to theirs when she forgets she’s someplace a certain level of chic that Hawkins must repel just by its sheer podunk nature.

Alex leans in close, right next to Robin’s ear to whisper, but makes sure she pulls back just as quickly to watch the flush spread over her freckled face like she knew it would “I should have known you’d like Sex on the Beach.” Sealed with a wink. 

And with that, the ice wasn’t the only thing rattling anymore, as Robin is keenly reminded as she feels the shudder travel up and down her spine that she chose to keep those Ben Wa balls.

"And she said what to you? Oh yeah, your date wants to get in your pants. For SURE.” Steve said as the cool edge of a frosted mug hit his tongue. It was a long day at The Hideout and they barely had time to shoot the shit between odd jobs and a colorful group of customers, and Robin got in so late last night that he didn’t even get to grill her about her date when she rolled in. Disregard the fact that Steve was tucked soundly in his bed after a nice warm belly full of pasta and red wines (who knew, he liked red wine? He sure didn’t). After such a long day, and the bet hanging in the air, the pair stumbled upon a local dive bar on their walk home and that’s where they find themselves now - unwinding and finding themselves totally relaxed in the warm, dimly lit and unceremonious Benny’s Taproom.

“God, Steve, I don’t want to talk about it!”

“What do you mean, you don’t want to talk about it? You owe me three drinks and you’ve gotta spill your guts, Robbie.” 

“Ahhh, I don’t want to hear about the bet, Steve! I’ve been a little distracted. My keychain has been the least of my worries, genius.”

“Excuses, excuses.” he winks, the beer tasting even better knowing it was his prize for caring for his tamagotchi much better than his friends, just as he suspected. Robin cycled through three whole pets so far, while Steve’s has grown into a thriving, young thing and he gloats about it every moment he can. “Now, spill it. I need to know the details about your date, Robin. Stop avoiding this.”

As they sit there arguing over digital pets and sharing (or avoiding) stories of their night prior, a gravely ahem comes from over the bar as the gruff, stone faced and bearded man behind it places his hands wide on the counter in front of the two friends. “If you’re in my bar, drinking my drinks, then you gotta share, missy. This place is boring lately, and you guys are fresh meat, so please…entertain us with your stories. I gotta live for something around here.” he sternly says to the two, before he smiles wide and says “If you’re here, you’re family, so listen to your friend and give us the scoop, for God sakes!” 

Robin tells them about her first date - about all of the coy flirting, about all of the embarrassing things that didn’t feel so terribly embarrassing in front of her date, about all of the appetizers and cocktail tastings, about the menu items spread out on their table with double entendres and that Alex kept ordering things she kept referring to as Aphrodisiacs “I swear I thought aphrodisiac was another word for Oysters, and then I thought that it meant something sexual just because … oysters. They’re like…ya know.” as she blinks her eyes downwards to her lap.

“Oh honey, he is into you.” Jim breathes out as he adjusts to lean back against the sink with his arms crossed.

Maybe it was Robin’s tight-lipped smile in response to that, or maybe it was how Steve gargled his last sip of beer right back into the mug before setting it down on the ratty old, stained coaster on the bar, but Jim’s eyes flitted between the pair looking for the information he must certainly be missing. 

“Ah!” He claps his hands together as he takes Steve’s mug, swirls it around eyeing the backwash, throws it in the sink and fetches another one. He immediately moves over to the tap to refill it while noting “Alex…. He’s a she…isn’t she?” 

Jim leans over the bar, braced on his elbows and spends the next twenty minutes telling her that she's just had a taste of what the city has to offer. .. a taste of dating. A taste of Alex. And if she's feeling like that - if one taste is making her feel so so good, it's worth embracing it and diving right in.

TAGLIST: @livsters @katie-tibo @johnricharddeacy @angywritesstuff @k-k0129 @tisthedamnseason69 @middle-of-the-earth @thebrazilianatheist  @mochminnie @micheledawn1975 @falling-throughthe-hourglass @rafaaoli @ash5monster01 @gabessock @onyxslayss

The artist referenced in this Chapter is A.K. Summers who did, in fact host an exhibit at a Chicago Gallery in 1993. See her work Pregnant Butch here

[shigarakisslutbag]

PLS DO SHIGGY THIGH FUCKING HCS thank u ily

I honestly didn't think I'd write on here again but I can't sleep and it's like 5:30 in the morning lol. So I'll write some thigh fuckin' headcanons to ease the stress 😎 (also TW: for thigh fucking, somnophilia, long post in general LMFAO. If I missed anything I apologize. Also it's now 6:19 after finishing it so there's probably typos I've missed after briefly skimming this so Im also sorry for that LMFAO)

(EDIT after writing. I'm so sorry this ended up not being headcanons and was just a full on drabble I found of pulled out of my ass but I hope you still enjoy it lol)

Now truthfully I havent even watched/finished the seasons after season 4 lol. I'm in the middle of season 5 still because I'm severely depressed and can't enjoy anything. But that doesn't mean I don't still love shigaraki and tbh I still read fanfiction from time to time about him or dabi.

I feel like a lot of people paint shigaraki as either absolutely vile and grimey or just aloof and soft with a grumpy attitude. And I feel like it's a bit of both. Which really plays into his sex life (if he'll ever have one). But even without a sex life, his personality most certainly plays into his fantasies and kinks.

I want to also emphasize that fantasies are just that, fantasies. Shigaraki most likely has plenty of fantasies that he'd never dream of acting out with his partner should he ever have one. I feel like even if he had some sick fantasies or kinks, and you happened to be okay with it, he would still be iffy because if this man, for whatever reason, picked you out of everyone else?? He's not going to treat you like absolute garbage. Shigaraki is definitely not the nicest person by any means, but by God if he cares about someone he fucking cares. Esp because you're probably the only person who actually loves him in his entirety. So if he's into noncon, somnophilia, predator/prey play, or whatever, it's going to be a while before he gets comfortable bringing up any of those fantasies with you.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, you're wondering "goddamnit ash shut the fuck up and tell me the thigh f-" wELL THATS TOO DAMN BAD YOU LISTEN TO SEGGSY MONOLOGUE OR YOU GET NOTHING. ty luv u.

Okay so his fantasies right ? What are shigarakis kinks ? Does he have any? Oh absolutely. And they range from either something as light and soft as hickeys and tying you up in silk while eating you out for 2 hours to nipple clamps and making you wail with hot tears and shoving a dildo down your throat telling you take it like you've taken every other mans cock down your throat because he knows stupid sluts like you are always capable of doing those things if you know it'll make your pussy soak the sheets.

Now it's not his top fantasy, but thigh fucking. And God do you have the prettiest thighs. It doesn't matter is there's stretch marks, if they're chubby, skinny, or if you have immense scarring on them he LOVES them. He loves how soft they are. He loves how they look in shorts or a skirt (esp when you keep trying to pull them down a bit because they're a size smaller than what you wanted so they don't pudge out). He loves how your delicate hands lay on top of your thighs while you fiddle with your fingers out of nervousness. He loves the way they move when he walks behind you, you have a walk that puts any model to shame. He just loves them . And by God does he throb at thought of getting to push his cock past your sweaty or oily thighs. The head of his dick barely kissing your clit each time he thrusts. But that's not the biggest and best part at all. He wants to wake you up to it. You've told him countless times he can wake you up to any sexual acts but he's still nervous. But he's really horny right now. And you're sweaty from the lack of AC and you're naked on your side sleeping away. But he genuinely can't think of anything else other than how wet your pussy must be right now and how slick your thighs must be from the heat of the room. His cock is absolutely aching to slide between your thighs and folds. He has never felt so hungry until he met someone with a body as inviting as your own. He's been stroking for the past couple minutes but it's just not enough .

He peels off the throw blanket you have over you because despite the heat you always love your blanket to sleep. But even after the blanket is removed you still don't wake . He slowly examines your body and grazes his hand down your body. Going over your shoulders and arms to ribs to hip bone. Finally meets that beautiful soft ass of yours. He gentle lifts your thigh to angle and can see your pussy . Its so wet and glistening from the lights on the street coming in through your window, beaming in and lighting up your skin to a beautiful warm glow.

He lifts up one of your slick folds, seeing your pretty clit and rubbing his thumb in tiny circles on it. He can't take it anymore and slides his cock between your thighs, his shaft rubbing your leaking pussy and making your clit throb even more. You may be asleep but your cunt is always awake and ready to be touched by him.

He starts thrusting slowly to building up that pressure in his groin to make his orgasm feel even better in the end. He can feel you coating his shaft with your juices more and more with each desperate thrust he makes to your thighs. Your thighs are so sweaty and warm and grip his dick so nicely taking any and every drop of cum he wants to and could ever give you. He can hear slight wet sounds coming from your cunt with each thrust that keeps getting more rapid and animalistic with each thrust because you dont know how to stop being such a needy whore all the time even in your sleep. Before he knows it you're gushing and your cum is on the sheets making him go over the edge. Now he's spitting thick, white shots of cum all over your thighs while drops of it roll down your skin onto the bed as well. You're still mostly asleep, but youve adorned a dazed smile on your face with a satisfied tomura passed out next you .

[kerubimcrepin]

Episode 15 - Teeny Keke

I think it's interesting that there are ruins just outside the city. Goes to show, that even in these times, there were layers upon layers of history...

And that's not to mention how many layers there are by Dofus MMO times.

Or the way all this history is at the bottom of the ocean by Wakfu times.

He has an upside down ad.

why.

His mood swings continue to be the show's highlight.

Oh no. It's his weakness:

Women.

This is, to my knowledge, the only real item among the ones that he shows.

He's NEVER beating those Waven Bonta Cannibalism Allegations.

Are the Cannibalism Allegations canon? I hadn't played Waven, so I can't say for sure what the fuck Joris (and by proxy, Kerubim and Atcham) are doing at the helm of Bontarian government, and whether it involves cannibalism besides all the other warcrimes apparently committed.

Is it funny to mention them right after Kerubim spoke of eating sentient species? Abso-fucking-lutely.

Also, there's an emergency exit in the back, behind the two women. Luis is confirmed OSHA-compliant.

(edit: nvm it's a "this is not an emergency exit" sign. This house is gleefully OSHA non-compliant.)

He's a gross, gross old man, but god, his enthusiasm for selling things is so contagious.

This is an item in both of the MMOs. A timeless classic in the World of Twelve, I suppose.

Never let it be forgotten that this fucking map has known Joris for 600 years. And neither of them even brought it up. Very cunty.

Not a Dofus item, but a reference to Dragon Ball.

Yesss queen use your son as a guinea pig.

(Also, these wands are real items in the games, just so you know.)

I need to kill him so bad, and I don't even know why.

Anyway, another Joris salute moment.

I just want to hug Joris. So bad.

I know it could just be Simone being cool, which is a likely thing for her to be — but it always struck me as odd, the fact that she can last in combat for at least little bit, and how fast she is to grab, and use, a weapon.

I guess it might not be too strange, considering the setting. Maybe she used to be an adventurer, as a hobby, and realized she doesn't like that sort of lifestyle. Maybe something else. But it really makes one wonder where she came from, when coupled with her cryptic answers of "Oh I'm from afar."

Mind you, she doesn't seem to be a Warrior Lady. It's just that she has some skill, but not masterful skill, and that leaves a lot of theories on the table.

They are literally so special.

And their first instinct is to hug. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. 😭💕

I love how in sync they are, to the point of even saying this together.

Yeah, Keke. I also love staring at Joris when he's happy.

Seasonal depression ass. Also, not-so-seasonal depression ass, considering how he was acting just like this in the Vax's Art episode too.

It is nice to get a confirmation that Kerubim is prone to mood swings like that, and that I was right that he mostly seemed like... unwell in that episode, even before his 30-50 art related panic attacks.

However, even on our worst days, we all still have to fuckin' clean. Sad.

[sergeantnarwhalwrites]

OC Question Game

Thanks for the tag @illarian-rambling! Finally beginning to move through some of the tags! Hoping some of these will ease me back into writing my wips.

I tag: @aether-wasteland-s @the-void-writes @vacantgodling @chayscribbles @dumbthunder @kk7-rbs (Only if you want. Open tag too)

Your questions:

Mornings or Nights?

An animal you think you could beat in a fight?

What's in your pockets?

What's your favorite season?

Green: "I'll take the cold over sweatin' through everything I own. So winter I guess."

Peace: "Spring or summer. Less depressing outside and I get to see Green in a hottest state of undress. Aka shirt unbuttoned and literally anywhere else."

Hollis: "Spring lover, truly. Too bad the pollen and smog hate me." (Has seasonal allergies the air quality makes the effects worse)

Donnie: "Uhh is all of them an option?"

Digits: "Summer! All my favorite sports are playing. It almost makes the dying outside part okay. I'm always dying at my construction job anyway."

Unpopular opinion?

Green: "Kids are fuckin' awesome little shits. And if they "suck" which is only possible in super 'pecific situations. It's usually their ma's fault. Maybe their da's fault too."

Peace: "'Everyone always blames the rich here. Like the real problem ain't the power being rich got them."

Hollis: "Most of the cyber-prosthethics are an absolute shit show. The market is full of shit knock offs and overpriced garbage."

Donnie: "Don't have to support your jobs mission to work the job."

Digits: "People hate dumb poor people but love dumb richies. I don't get it."

When was the last time you screamed at someone?

Green: "Why the fuck would I keep up with somethin' like that?" (Lol recently. Very recently. Probably a couple days before.)

Peace: "I don't know. I don't like to lose my temper like that. Maybe a month ago?"

Hollis: "Do you mean in general? I haven't screamed in a minute. Know I've made a couple scream though."

Donnie: "Internally, always. Green makes me wanna scream all the time. Bastard's lucky I'm mute."

Digits: "When'd I finally get off the site? Yeah then."

[chuuyaposting]

One day I hope I'm friend shaped. I miss having friends that would just call randomly to catch up or talk about random things, I miss getting calls at odd hours like "dude guess what.. this is what happened at work today. Im gonna dye my hair, u wanna come over?" And then we'd hang out and yap about random shit. Or "im going to run errands, u wanna come with?" And then talking and laughing together through the day. I miss the simple things, they were such big moments for me. Mfers could ask me if i wanna go to a doctors appointment with them and i was like "yah sure!" And we sit there in the waiting room sending snapchats back and forth making each other crack up, or going out for midnight drives and parking in a parkinglot somewhere just to chat, I play something really loud and random over the car speakers and we both bust out crying laughing. Sitting around doing nothing together was so fun too, i was genuinely so happy to be doing nothing with a friend. Sitting outside and smoking weed together and laughing at the most brain rot shit, but then having one of the deepest heart to heart talks I've ever had in my life, sneaking downstairs to go smoke in the bathroom and just listen to music together, we start sending each other shit on our phone and trying not to laugh too loud and wake everyone up. Going out to the skate park just to happily watch my friend practice tricks on his bike and tell him how fuckin cool it was as we left to grab pops together, sharing music with each other and yapping about our shared interests. Being sent random memes like "THIS IS SO YOU LMAO" and friends even noticing when i was feeling down and being like "alright im coming over. We're gonna hang out. No you dont have a choice, today's gonna be a good day." Like... yeah. It was a good day. You made it a good day. Those memories will stay with me forever and i will always treasure these moments. I miss having friends. I miss spending all night at a friends house just bouncing from topic to topic and doing little crafts together and going out to random places just for the hell of it. Despite everything going on in the world around us, for those few moments, life was so simple because we made it to be. The mutual support, the camaraderie, the inside jokes, it meant more to me than I could ever put into words. I still use the incense you burned to cheer me up and change the mood when I was depressed in my room for weeks, I still drink the same drink you got me when ya took me to that rooftop bar and I lost my glasses, I still think of you when I see a can of hormel beans because you just kept saying it Over and over like it was the funniest shit you'd ever heard, i still think of you when i eat mac & cheese from this one place now because i remembered it was your favorite, mac & cheese with chicken and caramelized onions and old bay seasoning with the mashed potatoes to mix together. It was really good and i think you have good taste. I still think of u when I see some of the funny videos we used to quote all the time. I hope they know how much every moment we shared meant to me. But we're so far away now, they've got better friends now, people change and grow apart instead of growing together and it makes me really sad. I don't have that anymore. I don't think i know how to make friends. But I'll always treasure the ones I have like gold.

[dawnanimations0w0]

Hello, This is my first time doing a writing post. But, I'm going to rant.

I am dawn, I used to be in the Lackadaisy fandom/community. Things started well at first until I dated my loving boyfriend (Who I'm still with<3) things took a bad turn, I found out that someone had made an account spreading harmful rumors about me, shit talking about my art, my relationship. It had affected my mental health badly, my boyfriend went through a terrible depression that he didn't pass his college semester. I went into a bad depression where I cried myself to sleep, almost ended my relationship with my boyfriend.

I ended up going into a group chat with my old/ex friends, I tried everything to plan things to catch the person that had made this horrible account. But they would never take my plan seriously, always wanted to do things differently until...we all got played, this person had won. It had affected me and my boyfriend dearly, I left my friends after they had promised me that we would be on each other's side. Months went by..and they just ghosted me, asking my boyfriend how I'd be doing which honestly would piss me off. I'm not a fuckin robot, I'm human stop relying on my partner. They eventually stopped until I found out that they just thought I was annoying and the only time they texted me, is when they "felt bad" . After weeks I chose to leave the fandom, keep my oc but change her into just a Sona. No longer part of that toxic fandom, I'm still away from the fandom and it's honestly peaceful to leave it. But a few months ago i found out that someone had been spreading lies about how my boyfriend started dating me when I was a minor, mind this I'm 19, he's 23, WE STARTED DATING WHEN I WAS 18. y'all are fucked up to think that, we are happy and no one will separate us. We've met in person and he makes me genuinely happy. He's the sweetest, loyal, kindest man I've ever met and he makes me safe. He left the fandom yesterday and we are both at peace, soon in October to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. We want no more drama, but peace and quiet.

Thank you for reading this.

[mayisgoingnuts]

Honestly yeah lmao

And for Angel and Husk—

So I inspired Angel by Jessica Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit in this AU—while I had no particular inspiration for Husk besides Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit and Ray Charles (dude who sang Hit The Road Jack).

Angel in this au is still an inappropriate film star, pole dancer, etc etc—and he still has that sassy charm to him. He mainly acts this way as a front with other people like in the original show, but he can also be REALLYYYY threatening when pissed, and that's usually when his past as a guy from a mob family comes out. He's also more of a shitty person here? Just because he's been in Hell for a long time, so he's bound to lose any sort of kindness he might have had before. He's very rude to Charlie at first and is actually kind of passive aggresive with her sometimes, but grows from this over the show and grows to like her. And when he's not putting on a front, he's very vulnerable and miserable—just to show how much Valentino's treatment of him has effected him. He can also sing pretty well unsurprisingly—and can actually play the saxophone.. for some reason.

Due to his past as a mob family member though, he still has some pretty fucked up tendencies, and due to being sus of Sir Pentious when he first arrives, he basically pulls him to the side and attempts to torture him incase he might have some info (with Vaggie joining him until Charlie puts an end to it). Angel really sees nothing wrong with the way his family taught him during the earlier seasons and always acts like people are over-reacting when they point out this behavior of his. But once again, he slowly learns that it isn't okay over the show, and grows from it.

He's also still an alcoholic and drug addict here, because he wants some feel of escape from all the stuff Valentino makes him do, but he's so convinced that Val loves him due to Valentinos manipulation. And it's even worse because Valentino always acts like nothings wrong whenever other people are around, and even if people knew what he was like, they could basically do nothing about Val due to him being a fuckin Overlord and this being Hell. (Angel's voice is also the same in this rewritten version btw, but with a minor distortion/other voice playing in the back anytime he talks)

As for Husk—he isn't that much different here since I don't see much wrong with him in the show? But he's also very depressed due to losing his position as an Overlord, and holds some slight arrogance due to being once in that position. But he of course grows from this, and realizes maybe all of his confidence was just some stupid front he was putting on for himself so he didn't have to confront his insecurities (which were basically about him dying alone and pathetic in the real world, and he also had a kid in the real world, so he hates himself for leaving her up there). Also he's a little more frightened of Alastor here, and usually just kinda tries his best to shut the fuck up when he's around due to being afraid of what he might do with his soul.

As for Loser Baby in this AU—I think the problem with it was that the poppy beat and light-hearted lyrics made people take it kinda wrong? As an SA victim, I did get the message that it was supposed to be like "Hey, you aren't alone—I'm in the same situation too so don't worry, we're in this together. But I can see how some people would misinterpret it here. So instead of a song number, it's more of an emotional scene where Husk first explains he was an Overlord once, and then tells Angel that he belongs to Alastor now, and tells him that there's really nothing either of them can do about their situations due to their respective tormentors being overlords—but that Angel's pain is valid, and that he's not in this alone. And THEN that's when the sharks come in and the fight scene happens.

Angel's outfit is SO good tho ksjdksjf

But DAMN POOR SIR PENTIOUS D: