#i also went to study in a cafe then bought a piece of cake on my way home to have tonight:-))-) life is so good when it’s sunny outside !

[cheruib]

the sun splashed into a beautiful tiny heart shape under my feet today + i found the coziest pool of sunshine in the park:)

[mitts2002]

Long lost twin AU

Hii so this will be a miya twins fic about the brothers if they met each other in secondary school instead if growing up together. It's inspired by the movie parent trap~ It won't be a very long fic probably like 4 chapters I guess maybe more maybe less but I hope you all enjoy! 

ALSO Osamu didn't dye his hair in this au as I believe he wouldn't dye it if it weren't for atsumu. Whereas atsumu seems like he'd do it regardless of having a brother or not.

Chapter 1 - Who the fuck are you?

Miya Atsumu wished he could have a different life. He was tired of working hard at school to get a good future job and then working hard after school at his part time job to help out his dad but he had no choice. Food had to get on the table somehow and him acting like a brat wasn't gonna solve anything. So he pushed away his tiredness and got back to work.

Miya Osamu wished he could have a different life. He was tired of having everything handed to him on a plate. He was bored and wanted a challenge. Sure all the clubs, school, piano lessons and friends he had helped his boredom but only temporarily. At the end of the day he would go back to his room alone sick of this endless routine.

“Atsumu! Can you go the shops and get me some rice please?” 

“Alright dad I was gonna go to this new sports store that opened up today so can I bring it on my way back!”

“Sure just don't take too long

“I won't” Atsumu lied. They both knew he would get too distracted by the volleyball section and eventually remember the rice a good 30 minutes later, but today was different. Atsumu for once was distracted by something that wasn't volleyball in fact volleyball was now the last thing on the blondes mind.

“Osamu sweetie can you go to the shop and get some milk?

“Alright i'll be back in a bit”

Osamu grabbed his bag and wallet and left the house. The walk to the store was about 10 minutes so he pulled out his headphones and began to listen to music. Osamu entered the shop and walked to the dairy aisle but just as he was about to grab the milk he heard a loud voice.

“YOU STOLE MY FACE YOU BASTARD”

Osamu was LOST. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Was he talking to him? Steal his face, how the hell is that possible? Obviously this strange boy was insane, no sane being would accuse someone of doing that. Osamu thought that until he turned around and was met with his own face.

Well not his face exactly but an exact replica. The only difference that could be identified was the brightly dyed hair and brown eyes staring back at him.

“Who the fuck are you?” Osamu didn't intend for it to come out that cold but he was in shock and confused. The darker tones in his voice had clearly made the boy next to him cautious enough to step back and Osamu couldn't help but feel guilt for this stranger who looked just like him.

“Miya Atsumu...my name” The blonde muttered 

“Miya Osamu, do you know what's going on by any chance?

“I HAVE NO IDEA BUT LOOK AT US WE MUST BE TWINS!”

Miya atsumu was loud. His yelling had captured the attention of most customers in the store and Osamu disliked that.

“Can you shut yer mouth yer so loud!”

“Says you, yer yelling back!”

The boys bickered back and forth as if they had known each other their whole lives. They didn't understand the situation too well but that wasn't important at the moment. This meeting felt right as if it were fate. The rice and milk was long forgotten as they both left the store to go chat at a local cafe.

“So what exactly have ya been doing these past 17 years, I'm assuming you are 17 if we’re twins” Osamu has asked, curious to know more about the boy in front of him.

“Hmm well I live with my dad- Our dad I guess and we don't live here, I just came to the city to check out some volleyball gear at this new shop that opened up. My dad works a lot and i also work on the weekends and sometimes even after school which is tiring but i gotta make ends meet you get me”

Osamu didn't get him. He couldn't really relate living comfortably in the city but he took a bite out of his cake and hummed in agreement while he let Atsumu ramble on and on about his life.

“So what about you?” 

The black haired male sighed “well i live here in the city with our mum and she has a pretty high paying job so i don't really have to work. That doesn't mean i slack on my studies though”

“HOLD UP OUR MUMS RICH AND NO ONE TOLD ME- NO I HAVE A DAMN TWIN AND NONE OF OUR PARENTS HAD THE DECENCY TO TELL US!”

“I get that your pissed trust me i am too but it is what it is” 

Atsumu was fascinated by his brother. The boy sitting opposite him with the same facial features, same expressions and same blood seemed so like him yet so different. He noticed how Osamu seemed more mellow but still had a temper just like him. They way Osamu seemed more reserved yet was comfortable around him despite meeting just today. It was refreshing.

‘I could get used to this’ Atsumu thought to himself, smiling gently at his brother who went more into depth about himself and his likes while scoffing down some of the cakes they bought.

The pair had stayed at the cafe chatting the evening away. They couldn't care less about what their parents had to say after what they've done. They were not a priority at the moment. Their biggest priority now was getting to know the long lost twin they never met until now.

All they could care about was one another. The twin they never knew they needed was here and each of them were set on never letting the other go.

They laughed, and ate and argued a lot but they felt complete. The twins were content and relieved that they had met sooner rather than later. But all good things must come to an end and it was time for the boys to part ways.

Not even minutes after they departed Osamu got a call from his brother.

“Osamu, you remember the plan right! Just go to school, make sure to do my shifts and act like me in front of dad”

“I'M NOT A DUMBASS! We went over this like 10 times and we've already dyed our hair. There's no going back now, just remember to keep on top of my studies and act calm around my friends. We don't see mum too much so that shouldn't be a problem and go to my piano classes”

“Alright i got it let's just live each other's lives for one week then confront mum and dad!”

“Sounds like a plan, alright I'll see ya in a week. Message if ya need anything”

They ended the call and both twins suddenly felt nerves as well as excitement. Living each other's lives couldn't be that hard in fact it will be a piece of cake. Little did they know that this would be the hardest thing they've ever had to do.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

Help Wanted (chapter 3)

Huge thanks again to @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian who continue to be amazing beta readers!

Please consider leaving a comment on Ao3, it really helps

Chapters: 1, 2, 3

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Caduceus loved it when little kids would come into the Blooming Grove. It didn’t happen all that often, most of his customers were students from the academy or the nearby art school, coming in talking about their projects or dissertations, magic runes scrawled up their arms in biro and paint under their fingernails. But every so often, usually on sunny afternoons, parents would come in with strollers or tiny, pudgy hands held securely in their own, coming from the park or the fountain or the markets. The little ones would soon find themselves thoroughly spoiled, pressed with free cookies and cakes to go with their juice, the tall, nice man behind the counter always eager to listen to their nonsense and coo over whatever treasures they clutched. He kept a box of toys over in the corner for them to play with, picture books to read and there was always a napkin within reach when one was needed.

There were some skills you couldn’t shake, even if your siblings were miles away.

He was just helping a little drow toddler clean off some cookie crumbs before his mothers could notice when there was a yelp from behind the counter, accompanied by a loud hissing like some immense dragon.

“Caddy! Help! Emergency, Captain!”

“You don’t have to call me that!” Cad gave the little boy a pat on the head and went running over.

Fjord was being enveloped in bursts of steam that smelled like burnt coffee, belching from the ancient coffee brewer, coughing and waving his arms in an attempt to stave them off, “I told you, Caddy. Helga hates me.”

“She does not hate you,” Cad insisted, wading in and turning dials and pushing levers back up, slapping his palm against the sides in a particular rhythm.

Eventually it worked, the steam abating and the guttural hissing stuttering into silence. There was a final worrying rattle and a small tide of black, steaming, bitter sludge plopped from the dispenser into the waiting cup.

“Ew,” Cad’s ears flattened and his nose wrinkled, “Okay, maybe Helga does hate you. What did you do to her?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Fjord sounded indignant but clearly, like Cad, he was barely holding in laughter, “I tried to follow your instructions but I couldn’t remember them and I couldn’t find her manual…”

“She doesn’t have a manual, I bought her at a flea market,” Cad shook his head, slapping the immense bronze machine a few more times before nodding in a satisfied manner, “That should do it. What was the order?”

“Cinnamon coffee,” Fjord scratched at his jaw, still giving Helga a scandalised look.

“Right,” Cad moved to grab the right jars from the small, mismatched army of them that cluttered the bench, “Did you put the cinnamon in with the beans or did you add them separately?”

Fjord paused, eyes widening and jaw slackening in realisation, “Ah. The wrong one.”

Cad chuckled, nudging him lightly with a bony elbow, “Don’t worry. You’ll get it next time.”

For some reason, that seemed to make Fjord shrink a little, like he’d been expecting another step but his foot had found thin air instead. But only for a moment, then he was smiling again.

“Well, it’s my mess so I’m definitely cleaning Helga tonight.”

Cad let him have that, waving him back to work his usual magic with the customers so he could finish the drink. It had been a few months since he’d started working here and Fjord was clearly strongest when he was interacting with people, a relief seeing as conversation had never been Caduceus’ strong suit which he supposed came of growing up in the middle of the forest with only six other family members, talking to plants more than people.

In fact, Cad had learned a lot about Fjord, seeing him nearly every day, working elbow to elbow with him. He hummed while he worked. He didn’t like huge bits of onion in his food but if it was cut up small, he’d never notice. He’d gone to high school with Beau and Jester and become friends with Molly and Caleb and Veth through them. He’d been a sailor since he left school, speaking about the waves the same way Caduceus spoke about the forest. He always had a battered paperback in his bag, bought from a thrift store, even if there’d be no time in the day to read it. He woke up early and stayed up late, living on an amount of sleep that would have Cad wilting like a tulip in the heat. And he really needed a haircut but seemed in no hurry to get one.

Cad found himself filing away every new thing he learned, despite telling himself his crush had been a brief thing, just something silly his brain had spat up in amongst all the stress and change. Fjord was handsome, of course, but he was also becoming his friend on top of his employee which was way more important. He wasn’t going to put him in an awkward position by blushing like a teenager every time he opened his mouth. It wouldn’t be fair to him.

And besides, there was Avantika.

She was rarely in the cafe itself, which Caduceus couldn’t help but be grateful for, as selfish as he felt over it. Even so, her presence was felt almost every day, in the way Fjord would come in muttering under his breath, agitated and red faced, still reliving an argument he’d left behind. Or in the way he’d get calls sometimes that he would get anxious about taking, dropping whatever he was doing in the cafe to answer them coming back apologetic and shamefaced, with a tension in him that hadn’t been there before. Or the way clear up would run late- usually because the two of them were talking and laughing or Fjord was showing him a new song on the radio- and he’d sigh resignedly and head out for the bus stop rather than getting a lift from her. He never said anything directly about it but the pieces weren’t hard to put together. Fjord knew Cad would offer to drive him home and he also knew he wouldn’t be able to say no. And there would be something unacceptable about that, some rule broken by that action that he didn’t understand.

There seemed to be a lot of rules in Fjord’s...whatever he had with Avantika. One of them seemed to not be speaking about her at all, Cad had to base everything on what Fjord said with his muscles. He’d always been able to read that language better than anything, realising what people were trying not to say more than what they were actually saying. And he had learned shortly after that that people didn’t like it when you would state what it was out loud. He’d been working on that since coming to the city.

But no matter how many times he told himself it was none of his business one way or the other, that he needed to keep his broad, flat nose out of his new friend’s affairs, Caduceus did care. He did.

Fortunately, the rest of the Nein also cared and seemed determined to talk to him about it.

Beau and Caleb were in the cafe at the moment, as Caduceus tried to soothe Helga and get her back in working order by thumping his fist very carefully around her casing. They tended not to sit down when it was just the two of them, usually just on a pit stop in between class and a library session. They took different classes, of course, but they studied together which Cad found very strange, as they seemed to constantly bicker whenever they were within five meters of each other. Maybe they really didn’t know anyone else even remotely studious. Their significant others certainly wouldn’t qualify.

Fjord was taking orders, efficiently and smoothly, putting them together with barely a pause. He’d really been getting good at this, even in such a short space of time. Cad could see why he’d been so good on ships. Any task he was given, he threw himself into it fully until he’d mastered it and could move through it confidently. Cad barely ever had to show him something twice.

Thinking that he had this in hand- it was still an hour away from lunchtime, they were still in the ebb rather than the rush- Cad slipped over to Caleb and Beau, where they were leaning against the tall stools up against the counter, probably already arguing about something complicated to do with magic. Cad didn’t understand what there was for them to learn about magic for so many years. You just thought about it, asked nicely and it happened?

“Morning,” he rumbled congenially, setting their cups down in front of them. They came so often, he’d just started taking their own travel cups and filling them. Beau’s was scuffed and scratched from being shoved deep into her backpack with all her stuff, the logo of the Cobalt Soul still just about visible, clearly a freebie from her orientation nearly three years ago. Caleb’s was covered in cartoon kitty paw prints. Both were filled with black, incredibly strong study session grade coffee brew. Cad refused to sell them more than three cups a day, five cups a day during finals week.

“Hey, Cad,” Beau was bouncing on the balls of her feet, like she was shaking out all of her energy before having to stay still for an extended period of time.

“Good morning Caduceus,” Caleb had eyes only for his coffee, making grabby hands towards it before Cad had even passed it over.

“Only three, remember,” the firbolg warned him, not liking the look on his face, “I am keeping track.”

“I know,” Caleb said meekly, trying to look restrained and a little less like an addict, just taking one small sip before lowering the cup, as if to prove he could.

“Saw Fjord nearly send your coffee machine up in smoke,” Beau leaned a bandaged elbow on the counter, tipping her cup in the direction of the half orc, now chatting companionably with an elderly dragonborn woman as he put her granola bowl together.

“Easy mistake to make and no harm done,” Cad smiled in the same direction, just to himself, “He’s actually doing brilliantly. Starting to forget how I managed without him.”

Cad’s gaze was elsewhere, being much less subtle than he thought, so he missed the glance exchanged between Beau and Caleb.

“So, uh…” Beau leaned forward, bringing Cad’s eyes back her way, “You and Fjord, you get on well, huh?”

Cad was frowning over that, confused as to why she’d ask that when it was obvious, when they were both interrupted by a chime from Fjord’s apron pocket. The apron Cad had made him, done exactly to match his height, with waves stitched along the hem. He’d been delighted with it.

It went just as it always did. Fjord seemed to shrink in on himself a little, jaw tensing, teeth closing on his lower lip. He gave the woman her change quickly, eyes darting to Cad, gesturing apologetically and pointing at his pocket questioningly. Cad gave him a wave, there was no one else at the counter anyway.

Now Beau’s face was dark as thunder and even Caleb had a disapproving set to his jaw, like he’d swallowed something bitter other than his coffee.

“How many times a day does he get calls like that?” he asked, watching Fjord’s back disappear around the corner to the back room.

Cad shrugged, “A few. More some days than others. I’m not counting.” It wasn’t strictly a lie. He was trying not to count.

Beau muttered something into her cup that sounded unkind. When Caleb gave her a look she threw her hands in the air, nearly sloshing coffee on the wooden floor, “What? You know I’m right! She’s checking up on him like he’s a naughty kid!”

“I am aware,” Caleb sniffed, “And I don’t like it any more than you do. But we said we weren’t going to say that kind of stuff when he’s around.”

“Oh come on, he can’t hear us,” Beau rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.

Cad looked between the two of them anxiously, already feeling guilty but too curious to go and do something else, “So...you guys know about his girlfriend? Avantika?”

“Girlfriend is a strong word,” Caleb allowed, while Beau snorted derisively in the background, “More like...force of mutual destruction. Part time nemesis. Live in life ruiner.”

Caduceus wrinkled his nose, “Oh…”

“They’ve been like this since high school,” Beau’s lip curled, “They both got deep into this really dodgy patron, you know, how most people do at that age? Neither of them had a great childhood and it kind of just happens that way. Fjord started to have second thoughts once he became friends with us but she kept dragging him down into it. We all thought they were done when Fjord signed up with the Tide’s Breath, the ship he worked on? But now he’s home and they’ve just fallen right back into making each other miserable and making our lives shitty into the bargain!”

“That doesn’t sound...healthy…” Cad said slowly, taking his tail in his hands and wringing it anxiously.

“It’s not!” Beau slapped Caleb’s arm, “See! Cad gets it!”

“Ow! I’m on your side!” Caleb protested, rubbing his arm, “We all are!”

“You’re ridiculous, I barely touched you.”

Cad sucked in a breath, “People sometimes do things that don’t make sense because they don’t see that it’s hurting them. Or because something else is hurting them more and listening to someone else is easier. Even if what they’re telling you is bad.”

That got him an eerily twin set of concerned looks. Cad realised that maybe that should have been something he kept to himself, one of those things that made conversations awkward.

“We sort of get why he’s doing it,” Beau eventually said, slowly, “I mean, we’re basically Team Gone Through Bad Shit. Doesn’t mean we like it.”

“No one does,” Cad said quietly, eyes casting down to his tail, still clutched tight in his long fingers, “But saving people from themselves is difficult.”

“Hence why they’re still together,” Caleb murmured, “We know we can’t just go telling Fjord all of this without upsetting him and making things worse.” At that, he gave Beau a very significant look. She gave him the finger in return.

When Caleb ignored it, she sighed and hopped down from the stool, “We need to head out. Just...help us keep an eye on him?”

Cad glanced over. Fjord was back behind the counter, tapping his fingers restlessly on the wood, looking red faced and anxious. Clearly the conversation hadn’t been a pleasant one. Cad thought of all the times Fjord would look uncomfortable when he reassured him or instantly forgave an error or mistake. The way he’d get awkward about compliments, like he didn’t know how to hold them or where to put them. The way he needed to hold his overgrown hair back with a band but every day his tusks were freshly filed down, right to where it had to be painful, just so they wouldn’t be visible past his lip.

He couldn’t have a crush on him, it wouldn’t be fair. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t care about him. Far too late for that.

“Of course I will,” he said softly.

Caduceus was starting to enjoy closing up more than any other part of the day. Everything slowed down, there seemed to be more space to breathe and the whole evening stretched out in front of them, feeling like forever. And it would suddenly be just him and Fjord in the quiet, able to choose their favourite songs on the speakers and talk across the freshly wiped down tables and sing and joke.

It had started off tentative, back in the first few days. Neither of them were hugely eager to talk about the usual ice breaking questions like family, home, where they both were before now. Instead they’d talked in the present, about their interests. Cad had talked for hours about his rooftop beehive before realising he was rambling, except Fjord had still been listening intently, almost as if he didn’t care how much time had gone by. Fjord talked about how he was getting back into the battered old acoustic guitar he played, whatever book he was reading, whatever podcast he was listening to.

But, as it often went, talk about small things became talk about big things without really meaning to.

Tonight, Fjord was wiping down the tables and Cad was moving from plant to plant, watering contentedly. As he worked, the half orc was explaining some interesting historical magic experiments he’d been reading about in a book Caleb had lent him.

“...I used to think that kind of stuff was so interesting when I was younger. How people know what they know now, how all these big ideas became fact, y’know? Used to have all these daydreams about being at the academy and seeing the places all this big thinking happened…”

Cad looked over his shoulder, interested, “You want to apply to the academy?”

And then suddenly Fjord was tense, awkward, ducking his eyes to focus on the already clean mosaic table top, acting like he’d said something he shouldn’t have.

“I mean, I used to. When I was younger. A lot younger.”

Cad felt the urge to back off, the sensation that they were suddenly standing on some kind of line. But he couldn’t help but feel letting it go would be breaking the promise he’d made to Beau.

“You still could,” he said quietly, “They take students of all ages.”

Fjord still didn’t look up, “I, uh...I don’t think that’s the path for me anymore. I mean, when would I fit it in now? Not gonna be long before I’m back out on the ocean.”

Cad frowned delicately. He had mentioned that a few times, the fact that this was temporary, a stop gap until he found hire on another ship. But there was always something so rehearsed about the way he said it. Like he was copying someone else’s words.

“Paths can change,” Cad allowed after a pause, “But sometimes you can think that way but old loves come back, ones you thought you’d outgrown. And they’re stronger than ever.”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience?” The attempt to change the subject was obvious but Cad let him have it. He wasn’t looking to make him uncomfortable.

He smiled softly, fingers gently brushing the almost silky leaves of his yucca plant, “My whole family worships Melora, the Wildmother. Have you heard of her?”

“I don’t think so,” the bridge of his nose scrunched up adorably when he was thinking.

“Not many people have,” Cad reassured him, “She’s mostly for the quiet places, where nature’s grown over the scars in the earth. Places like where I grew up...she was practically another family member growing up, you could feel her everywhere. She’s soft and gentle and kind and there’s nothing she can’t heal.”

Fjord’s expression softened, “She sounds nice.”

“She is,” Cad chuckled wryly, “And I was raised to be her cleric from the moment I was born.”

“Really?” Fjord’s eyebrows shot up and Caduceus could understand why, even as he cringed internally. He’d never mentioned having any kind of magic, he never used it around the cafe except in ways too small to notice. It was quite deliberate. Every time he reached for the well of power inside himself, the quiet place where he could smell damp moss and fresh grass and feel it under his feet no matter where he was, he’d feel a tug of homesickness. Even with the long conversations he’d had with the Wildmother, one sided conversations where he was answered by breezes and bird calls, even with his certainty that he had her support, his magic had a bitter taste to it these days.

“Really,” Cad murmured, hoping Fjord wouldn’t press the matter, “And there was a good few years where I resented the hell out of it.”

“Oh,” Fjord’s eyes widened.

Cad smiled coyly, “I had a full teenage tantrum. Pouting, breaking things, yelling. No one in my family yells… I made a complete fool of myself. It was a week out from my cleric initiation and suddenly I was tired of having all of my decisions made for me and wanted the world to know it.”

“How old were you?” Fjord grinned.

“Thirty five. Just a kid.”

“Oh…so what happened?”

“One night, I got it in my head that I was going to run away,” Cad turned back to his plant, practically petting it, “I packed a bag, climbed out of my window in the middle of the night...I told myself I was never coming back, without so much as a goodbye.”

Fjord had abandoned his table entirely, looking at Caduceus with his full attention, “Really?”

“Yep,” the memory of his own stupidity still made the fur on his neck stand up, “And I would have done it, if I hadn’t taken a wrong turn. I’d lived in those woods all my life and somehow I took a wrong turn, tell me how that happens without divine intervention. But all of a sudden, I wasn’t on the path anymore. I was in this beautiful clearing, waterfall gently bubbling...the place I was meant to take my initiation in a few hours, the very thing I was supposed to be running away from. And it occured to me that I’d been feeling all of this anger and sadness and confusion, it had been tearing me up inside for longer than I’d even realised...and I’d never talked to anyone about it. I couldn’t tell my family, not when they’d had this image of me as their perfect, devoted son. So...maybe I could tell her.”

“And you did?” Fjord sounded a million miles away, Cad lost in his own memory.

“I did. I talked until my voice ran out, until the sun came up. I told her everything and afterwards I felt so...so clean. People had been telling me all my life to follow the Wildmother and I had, because they’d told me to. That night was the night I decided to follow her because I chose to. I took my oath then and there.”

“Wow,” Fjord murmured, “I can’t imagine feeling that way about...anything, really.”

Cad was about to ask how come Fjord had his own patron then, before realising he’d have to explain how he knew that. And then realising he probably wouldn’t like the answer.

Instead he smiled, “It’s always waiting for you, Fjord. For all of us.”

That brought a laugh, the kind he only did when he wasn’t thinking because it would show his filed tusks, “That’s a nice idea, Caddy.”

He grinned back, moving to the next plant, caring for each of them as devotedly as he could manage, each one a growing, green prayer, “It is. Even nicer for being true...the Wildmother helped me realise I wasn’t happy at home, years after that night, when I was actually ready to make that decision. She brought me here, to this cafe and to the life I have now. She helped me not feel so lost. And there’s something out there that will help you feel the same, Fjord. Maybe it’s the academy. Maybe it’s your next ship.”

Maybe it’s here.

The words were on his lips without thinking, desperate to be spoken, straining to tumble into the air between them.

Caduceus swallowed them back. It wouldn’t be fair. And there was no guarantee that saying it would make it true.

“Thanks, Caddy. For sharing that with me,” Fjord’s voice seemed different somehow, in a way he couldn’t put his finger on. Maybe he was just tired.

“You’re welcome… you know you can talk to me anytime, right? About whatever you want... doesn’t have to be work stuff or, um…I mean anything.” Cad winced at himself. How had he gone from being so articulate to tripping over his own feet when he wanted to ask a simple question?

Fjord seemed on the verge of his usual tension when help was offered but then he seemed to shake it off, like rainwater, “Thanks. That means a lot, Caddy.”

Cad resisted the urge to clap his hands. He’d done exactly as Beau asked and made Fjord smile into the bargain.

“Why don’t you clean out Helga? That might make her like you. I can finish up the plants and tables.”

Fjord seemed grateful for the chance to move, like just accepting help had filled him with restless energy, “Oh, I’ll do that! She’s going to end up loving me, I swear.”

“I’m sure,” Cad chuckled quietly as he jumped up and headed for the counter.

He’d make sure they were wrapped up in time for him to get a ride home. One personal leap a day was enough, he felt.

Cad moved to the next plant, a terrarium full of mushrooms he’d taken from the grove, already softly starting to glow as the light dimmed. Just for a moment, he placed his palms on the smooth curve of the glass, the green luminescence filtering through the gaps between his fingers like he held a heart in his hands.

And all he could smell was fresh grass, new fallen rain on green things. He felt his nerves alight with power he’d had inside himself since that promise he’d made. And it felt right.

Cad smiled, leaning close and whispering just in case, “I’m going to keep an eye on him...but maybe you could too?”

The mushrooms immediately grew brighter in his hands, far brighter than they should be for the time of day.

Caduceus took that as a yes.

[parkbearum]

Extrinsic

Requested by  @byunfirstlady  💖 

The blue sky seemed calm with a few neighbouring clouds.The sound of people filled your ears while the metro slowly got more crowded with joining souls.The quiet morning seemed pleasant while you stood up,reading a book with one hand supporting yourself.Your eyes traveled on the pages you devoured one by one,finding peace within this morning.

Your eyes started to travel on the passengers while trees and more buildings filled the windows of the metro.A woman with a large bag,an elderly man with large glasses and a kid who seemed not so thrilled this morning.A few pieces of hair fell on your face and while fixing it,he came into sight..

His caramel skin glistened with the sun as he gave you a generous smile.His hair seemed blonde under the sun,slowly taking all shades of brown and orange while your eyes kept looking,until you returned his small gesture and kept on reading.

He had been around for a while.It wasn’t the first morning he had greeted you with a smile,it certainly wasn’t the first time you had done the same.Looking back,he was a constant comer in the last few months,whether it was seeing him in a study group or a cafe you had been going.He was in the same street you were,a few mutual friends included and it all made sense why you saw him so often.

You had also been talking to him,a lot actually.Late night talks and interchanging advice were constants in your relationship.You had met him in a library after he came up to you,asking about the book you were reading while he seemed utterly curious with every detail of you.Things got personal after that,he knew a few of your friends and even ended up walking you home more than a few times.Last week,he had told you something you thought wasn’t possible for you.

He had told you that he fell in love with you.

That was normal on his part,it was natural for him to have feelings for somebody but you?It really didn’t seem likely.You were aware of how attractive he was,a caring guy with a generous heart and a face some would kill to have.He was a man of many talents and was generally loved.

But for him to love you,it was something else.You didn’t see anything appealing in yourself,you weren’t the best at anything.Sure,there were a handful of things you were skilled at but you weren’t his equal in the love department.You always pictured him with someone prettier,smarter and generally better than you but all this time,he only had eyes for you.

He had seen you read an art history book in the library and immediately recognized you.Unlike your recollection of memory,he had first seen you with a friend while you were leaving a restaurant.You didn’t look at him that day but he had seen your face and seeing you at the library,his urge to get to know you better took over him until it was too late and the library was about to close.He made sure to have a good look at your face until the next time he saw you.

After that day,he made sure to run into you.He went to places with friends when he heard you would be there.He always sat next to you even if it was only the two of you,talked about the things you wished to talk about and soon,he got addicted to your contagious smile.He missed you when you weren’t around and he made up so many scenarios on his mind including the both of you.

Last week when he told you about his feelings,he knew you would be confused.From endless attempts of getting to know you better,he knew you weren’t so fond of yourself.The countless things you could do and the fascinating skills you had were not apparent to you,you dismissed them faster than he could think and he was also aware of how you weren’t sure if somebody could love you.

The reason for that was that you only saw the flaws on yourself and focused on them.You didn’t care about the skills you had or if you were amazing at doing something most people struggled at,you gave importance to flaws and that dragged you down.You had tried to work around the problem,change your own mind and try to get rid of the negative mindset and it had worked but not to the point where you were positive,but at least you were feeling neutral about yourself.

And he was aware of all this,aware of all the negativity you sometimes put upon yourself and he didn’t mind.He knew that you needed time and someone to guide you through the path and he was more than willing to be that person of you let him.He was also aware of how hard it was going to be for you to let him in as the invisible walls you had built for yourself were too thick and strong,but he was ready to try.

You got off the metro and started walking towards the cafe you were heading.Being at home for the last week took its toll on you and you were feeling overwhelmed,being on your own surrounded by people and their voices could make it better.You fixed your bag and kept on walking,the weather was chilly now but not to the point you were shivering.

Entering the cafe,you smiled at the owner and sat down at the table next to the window.Getting your things out,you started doing some reading and research for time killing.Soon,a few hours passed by like that while the feeling of frustration while the sun lighted the wooden tables,some jazz music started to play with the opening brunch of the cafe.

You took a few sips here and there from your lemonade,trying to focus on your own work while loads of people came in the place,apparently it was known for its brunch hours.After eating a little,you went back to reading,getting absorbed in the writing of the author while somebody sat on the empty chair next to you.

You knew who it was.

You could smell his caramel perfume and distinct aura.You knew the blue jacket he was wearing,he had bought it with you and the way he sat down was also a give away,in case he was trying to be smooth.After finishing the page,you looked at his face,his round frames creating a perfect look on him with his smile.

“Happy to see me?”he asked,his voice high and rather content while you nodded,didn’t want to talk much as he might start to read your thoughts.

When you spoke with emotion,you knew he got it.Since he tried so desperately to get to know you when you first met,it was easy for him now to fill in the blanks with your thoughts,he had seen and understood you in the first place to begin with so now,you knew that even the tone of your voice would tell him how you were,like how it was with most people you called close.

He ordered two slices of cake,changed his seat to the one in front of you and stared at you while you read for the next twenty minutes.It felt normal,it felt like this was something you did on a regular basis although it was rather bizarre how he found you here.

“How did you know I was here?”you sighed,not looking up from your book while he examined your features,trying to read your face.

“I didn’t.”he breathed out this time,his voice was deep now which meant he was thinking about something,most likely about how he confessed and got no response for the last week.“You looked beautiful in the metro this morning.”he didn’t make eye contact this time.You could see that something was on his chest and was weighing him down but he made sure that you didn’t see it,or he thought.

“Yeah.”you gave him a smile this time,feeling the question coming while you tried your best to come up with an okay answer.

“You know what I’m gonna ask,right?”he said,he knew you too well now.You nodded,taking a deep breath while you talked and explained him about how you just didn’t feel like it was possible for someone to love you,it seemed distant and foreign.

While you tried your best to express yourself,his heart sank to the ground.His eyebrows furrowed first,he leaned back on his chair and looked at you motionless for a while.You looked back at him,no reaction there was between the two of you while minutes passed.There was no tension but pure sympathy.

“.....and what if you leave?I’m not the best and we both know that...”you tried to explain again,how he could easily get any girl he wanted and he might as well do that once he was done with you.

“You don’t have to be the best.”he spoke out for the first time in an hour.“I don’t care if you are not the best,at anything.I love you for your clumsiness and your flaws....”he said,pure desperation in his tone this time while he took his frames out.

He sighed,he saw it coming but not like this.He knew you weren’t the most confident and he accepted that but he didn’t even think that you would talk to him about it,hearing you say it made his heart drop.He was okay with every trait you had,he was willing to love you for the times you didn’t and he also knew that it would be hard for you to overcome it.

It was reckless of him,you thought.Why did he love you?Why was it you?Did you deserve it to be begin with?Or was it all because you were pitied?You didn’t want to think about it but the more you did,the more questions rose in your mind.He was this,perfect and gorgeous guy and you would be described as merely ordinary.

You took a breath in,making gestures for him to understand that you needed something from him,something that would help you take the step forward and so he did.Putting his hand on top of yours,you locked eyes with him.The brown marbles he had stared at you,with care and sympathy as you kept looking not sure of his next moves.

“We can try.”he almost whispered.He was being the gentle version of himself,afraid to scare you off while you looked directly at his eyes.“I won’t run off to some other girl,I’ll stay with you I promise.”he desperately said,you saw how much he wanted to convince you that it would somehow work between the two of you.

“I....”you couldn’t find words.You wanted to believe it,his words of you being together but something in you told you that it may not last for too long.

“I don’t get it.”his voice was high now,you could tell he was angry at you for being so skeptical about all this.

“You’re so blind when it comes to yourself,quickly dismissing every little good thing that you do but when it comes to other people,your while demeanor changes!”he said,leaning forward so that there was very little space between the two of you,you could feel is breath on your face.

“Just say something.”he gulped after a while,realizing how close his face was to yours but he never pulled away,didn’t even flinch when he felt his figure so intimate with yours.

Your mind got clouded,maybe it was his smell all over you or the fact that he had been staring at your face for the last five minutes but you were done,done with the doubts you carried around like a useless bag.

“Okay”you broke into a smile.

“We’ll try.”

[sarahtaylortraveladventures]

Week 1 (Jan 6 - 13)

Hallo aus Berlin!! 

I’m so excited to share with you what I've been up to the past week! It’s been pretty crazy getting adjusted to my new dorm, learning how to get around in Berlin, going to the store, and meeting new people. I can already tell I’m going to love Berlin and I’ve had such a great time so far. This post is so much longer than I anticipated,  but I hope you enjoy reading about my first week!!

Last Sunday, I took one plane from Charlotte to London and then a short flight from London to Berlin. Everything went smoothly with with the flights and I got a few hours of sleep which was good! The meal I got on the plane was a pasta dish, which was pretty delicious. Here’s a picture of the airline meal and a picture of me with my suitcase for proof that I packed light!

I met up with some people in my same program who were on my flight from London to Berlin. Once I got to the Berlin airport, I met up with my roommate, who is also named Sarah, and then the program provided a bus that took us from the airport to the program center.

The place where I’m staying is a center for study abroad students from the US. The bottom section has a lobby and cafe and classrooms and then the top floors are the rooms where students live. My room is dorm style with bunk beds, a desk, a wardrobe, a mini-fridge/microwave set, and then a bathroom. Here are a few pictures!

The first day we were in Berlin we had a welcome toast to the semester, then we went on a short walking tour around the neighborhood, and then dinner with some people in the program.

One the second day, we had morning sessions that covered helpful information about our classes, the center, and the culture in Berlin. Then in the afternoon, we went on one of those bus tours of Berlin, which was cool because we saw the main tourist attractions (pictures below!) and learned about their history in addition to getting a better feel for the layout of the city. And by that I mean realizing just how big Berlin is!

The first stop was the East Side Gallery, which is the longest remaining piece of the Berlin Wall. After it was torn down, the city preserved this section and asked local artists to paint what peace and unity meant to them, so it’s covered in really cool murals. This picture is probably the most famous section - it depicts Leonid Brezhnez (Leader of the Soviet Union) and Erich Honecker (East Germany Leader) kissing and was based off of a photo taken when the German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was created.

Then we went to the Brandenburg Gate, which was pretty cool just because you see references to it everywhere in the city (including on the fabric in the seats in the U-Bahn) But the history of it is super cool - it’s actually pretty old (18th century) and was a part of the old Berlin Customs Wall, which was a literal wall around the city that regulated people to pay taxes on the goods they brought into and out of the city. The Brandenburg Gate was one of many gates in the wall, but it was used for people of higher nobility or special occasions. Then it was used later for triumphal processions by Napoleon and the Nazis.

The last stop was the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. It’s hard to get a good picture that shows the whole memorial because it’s so big, but it’s a large open space with grey concrete-looking boxes of various heights. There’s apparently a lot of controversy about this memorial, but the artist, Peter Eisenman, was also very intentional in his design. The monument resembles a cemetery and walking through the stone boxes makes you feel somewhat uncomfortable and trapped. Eisenman didn’t want to label the monument or label the boxes because he wanted viewers come to their own realization and form their own opinions about the meaning behind his work. The monument is one of the largest public spaces in Germany and was really moving. There’s also an underground documentation section, but we didn’t see that on our tour.

That night we went to a German/Austrian restaurant, and I had my first schnitzel of the semester! This was a veal schnitzel that is popular in Austria and it was incredible. I’ve also been trying different beers at restaurants because Berliners are obsessed with their beers.

P.S. the beer glass was smaller so don’t use it as a size comparison to the schnitzel which looks ginormous in this picture

On Wednesday we started our first day of class! I only had my International Finance class that day, but I think the class will be really interesting. The professor is also really awesome - he was discussing a concept in class and mentioned this tea beverage but no one in the class knew what he was talking about because it’s only made in Berlin, so during our break (they’re 10 minutes since the class the 3 hours) he went a bought one and had some plastic cups so we could all try it!

We also went to Real, which is kind of like Germany’s Walmart or Target. It was my first experience going on the U-Bahn (Berlin’s subway/metro) and to the store in Berlin and it was a wild experience. The U-Bahn is pretty simple, especially given my experience in New York, but it’s big and all the names of the stops have at least ten letters. At the store, they have a lot of the same brands as the United States, but it was definitely an experience. I just got some notebooks for class and other things that I didn’t want to worry about packing like a bigger shampoo bottle. The whole trip was a little overwhelming but my friends from the program were there too so we struggled together and are now laughing about how confused we were. 

On Thursday, we went to the grocery store for the first time! It was super fun and we got stuff to make dinner and lunch since there is a communal kitchen at the center. I have a picture just because I was proud that we went and were cooking. Also, in the German grocery stores they only sell half loaves of bread and I think that’s genius. Also their cheese is way better than deli cheese from Harris Teeter. 

It was also a slightly warmer and sunnier day, so we went for a walk around the neighborhood. The river was super beautiful and we also saw some interesting apartments too.

Afterwards, we went to a super cute cafe where we had some coffee and cherry cake.

On Friday, I don’t have any classes which means I got to spend a full day doing whatever I wanted! We went to this mall and got some more items that we needed and also just walked around to the different stores to see what they were like.

That afternoon we also went to the Berliner Dom, which is the big Cathedral in Berlin. It was super beautiful on the outside and it sits on what they call “Museum Island” because it’s an island in the middle of the Spree River that runs through Berlin and is where a lot of the main museums are. The inside is also really pretty and you can go to the top and see an awesome view of Berlin! It was foggy and dark outside when we were there but I’d like to go back when you can see more.

This is the view from the top! The TV Tower is to the left.

Also, a little bit of winter-y decorations were still up from Christmas and I thought they were really pretty!!

That night, we went to Curry 36, which they say at the program is a late-night staple. It’s a currywurst place, which is a fast-food dish consisting of sausage, French fries, curry-flavored ketchup, and mayonnaise. It is honestly life-changing and I would consider Curry36 similar to the Cookout of Berlin, which as many of you know is a pretty bold statement coming from me. 

On Saturday, I went to an all-day German Survival Course that the program put on. It was somewhat helpful because we learned a little about ordering food and how to say some phrases. It’s definitely a hard language though so I can’t say that I have a large German vocabulary as of now. 

Today (Sunday), we went to a brunch place and then a museum called Urban Nation, which is a contemporary art museum that focuses a lot on street art too. It was super cool.

And then tonight I’m just finishing up some homework!

Wow - it’s been a really busy week but I’ve loved being able to explore and experience new things, even if it was sometimes intimidating. Berlin seems like an amazing city and I’ve loved making new friends who are studying here with me too. 

I miss you all!! Auf Wiedersehen!

the view from my dorm!

[sanma-tetsurou]

pastry chef! zhong chenle!

you can find the members' i've written at #worker au!!

•one of the sweetest cutest pastry chef you've ever seen

•chenle's favs in the cafe are probably the cakes especially green tea cake

•enjoys working in the back room but he's clumsy af and the others have to look after him so he doesn't burn himself with the oven

•smells like vanilla essence he nearly accidentally spills every time

•wears that little brown apron covered with flour that makes him look real cute

•there's always bits of flour covering his face and it makes him extra cute when he smiles and the customers just nearly can't take his cuteness

•i think chenle's favourite job to do is decorating the cake like he gets to use as much frosting and cream as he likes and sprinkle just whatever onto the cake as long as it looks nice

•can make candy like taffy, toffee and all those and he can make them into pretty things like flowers

•once he made a cake and put a candied rose on it and was displayed the cake was sold in about five minutes with people arguing about which one of them gets the cake and chenle didn't make it again bc he doesn't want the customers to fight

•one day you just wandered aimlessly down the same street where the cafe was since you had nothing to do

•you initially wanted to sneak into your parents' extra car for a drive but then you didn't want to risk your life so you gave up lol

•while walking past the blocks you found a little signboard standing beside a colourful framed glass door, the daily menu scribbled with colourful chalks and cute drawings were drawn by the side so you entered

•the interior was also just like the board by the door, all colourful in pastel colours in a aesthetic way and a display case showcasing the treats

•there were lots of people in the cafe at an unusual time which was like three in the evening where people were either at work or just staying home but you didn't bother it much and went to order a cake

•that was the hardest choice in your life at that moment

•the cakes were all decorated beautifully with the cake's main ingredient's colour without like a whole bowl of cream just simply and they were all your favourite flavours

•someone behind you grumbled about you taking too long and you just decided to ask the friendly looking boy standing behind the counter waiting for you for a cake suggestion whose name tag says chenle

•for a moment you just stared at him, marvelling at his cute face which just screams that he's the epitome of cuteness and the flour on his face and the small baker hat didn't help with you gushing internally about his adorableness

•chenle - "hello?" he says as he waved a in front of your eyes and you snapped out of it and composed yourself

•you - "um can you give me a recommendation for a cake? it's my first time here and the people behind me a shooting lasers at me" and he laughs at your words

•chenle - "sure how about the green tea slice? it's not too sweet and i guess it'll heal some of the holes from the lasers at your back"

•the two of you laughed and you went with his pick which was ready within a moment then quickly paid to avoid anymore looks from them

•you took a seat at a table for two near the counter and you could see the inside of the kitchen through your position through the small glass window??

•there inside was the boy serving you just now, working hard on something he was pulling (and you found it amazing that he could change from serving people cakes and pulling candy just a minute ago)

•you just stared in fascination as he continued pulling them until they form a shape and began pressing and poking them to add the details to it and it was just amazing how pieces of the sticky sugary stuff can be made into something so beautiful

•because of your curiosity in the candy pulling you began to frequent the cafe and chenle always serves you then runs back to the kitchen immediately

•you've seen him make little people figures that were set in the top layer of the display case and boii were they gone fast luckily you bought one right before the mob entered and you studied the candy and certified that he's a prodigy

•obviously through all the visits and him serving you'd know more than a thing of two about chenle and even got his number but none of you invited the other to hang out or anything just some memey chats in the middle of the night

•so like a month and a half gone by with you going to the place nearly every day makes you question actually why you're always there

•and boom you found out it was because meme boy invaded your mind and you have a crush on him

•you didn't dare to say anything so you just continued acting like how you usually were with him

•it felt kinda weird tho bc when he's out at the counter for even a little while the customers flirt with him (not that they don't with the others) and it makes you feel jumbled instead of hurt bc you have no idea that you're feeling jealous (it's your first crush I guess)

•recently you found him staying in the kitchen more making the same-lookinf candy for a few days straight

•one day you received a message from him saying : "can you stay until six?"

•you remembered that that was the cafe closing time and thought it was a weird time but you agreed nonetheless

•soo fast forward to that time you just sat there awkwardly as his co-workers aka dreamies were cleaning up the cafe until jeno brought you to the kitchen where chenle was

•right before jeno leaves you and chenle he shouts smth like chenle owns him a week worth of fries

•so you two awkwardly stand silently until chenle takes a deep breath and starts to talk

•chenle - "um (y/n) here"

•he gives out a bouquet of roses, candy roses glittering in all their might under the light and you just gushed over the beauty of it

•you - "i love these!! but what's the occasion?? our birthdays are over"

•chenle - "i like you"

•you just looked up at him seeing his blush on his cheeks and your mind tried to process his words

•once the words finally sink in you set down the bouquet and throw your arms around him pulling him into a hug and chenle could barely comprehend what was happening

•you - "what took you so long to say it??"

•chenle - "h-huh you k-knew?? about me liking you? the roses took me a long time to make if it weren't for them i wouldn't even wait this long"

•you - "then you don't have to make them"

•chenle - "but i want to make you feel loved" basically he's a cheese ball as he continued to talk and to stop him you had to kiss him on the cheek

•"i like you too candy boy"

thanks for reading!!

[aoibaratraveler]

A Look Back At My Time in Japan! Chapter 5

Fourth and Final Month on Exchange: July

This was a month full of social events both fun and bittersweet!

I started off the month by watching a movie with some of my uni friends. I have no idea what movie we watched but I’m sure it was a good time. The next couple of weeks consisted of mostly dance practice for the pier side festival that was to be taking place at the end of the month in Nagasaki. I joined the JASIN dance team since they were short on members and I thought it would be cool (plus we got a free university shirt for participating), but man was it difficult. JASIN was the international program that brought in exchange students from around the world to Nagasaki University of Foreign Studies and every year they apparently recruit exchange students to represent the school in a dance in the opening ceremony/party on the first day of the festival. I think there were about three or four other universities there. I actually have footage from the event thanks to one of my pals who was an intern at NHK since they televised it (I think I’ve been on NHK in some way, shape, or form at least two or three times but that was the only time that I was able to actually get the footage since I rarely had access to a TV in Japan during my travels *sighs*). Another girl from my exchange group who was super good at dancing and just had great coordination offered to give me some dance tutoring every day after class when I didn’t have work leading up to the event since I’m just born clumsy so it took awhile for me to get the hang of it.

By around the 16th of the month, pretty much all of Japan went crazy; especially my university. Why may you ask? Because Pokemon Go was released in Japan. While North America had access to the game, Japan was a couple of weeks behind so when it was finally released on Japanese servers it just blew up. Seriously, you couldn’t pass a person on the street without seeing them playing the game. It was great. Even R, one of my university buds who didn’t seem too into anime or gaming, downloaded the game before me and was playing. We pretty much spent everyday thereafter playing together, catching Pokemon and trying to compete in levelling up. She, Corn (a nickname for one of our guy friends) and I decided that we would all be team Mystic since everyone else seemed to be Instinct. Honestly, even the teachers joined in on the excitement. I stupidly didn’t invest in a data sim card or portable WiFi during my time in Japan so I was limited to public WiFi when playing but there was enough of it to go around in the city, it was just harder in the suburbs or more rural areas to play. It’s a shame though because while I still play, most of the people that I started playing with have lost interest in the game but I have decided to stay team Mystic even though the bf is team Valor just to hold onto the memory of that Summer. It was a great bonding experience although I did annoy at least one of my friends with my constant playing who never saw the fun in it.

I also spent a lot of my days that month going out after work with my coworkers. It was just a super lively month in general; B introduced me to a small, but delicious local Korean place and there was an izakaya outing almost every other night with my uni friends. I don’t drink but I still enjoy the atmosphere of everyone being silly and just having a good time - plus the food at izakaya joints is always delicious. It was also the birthday of the crazy receptionist that month, M, and while I may not have been on the best terms with her, she was still friendly with B who is friends with me so I still got an invite. We went to a manga cafe/karaoke joint and it was just quite the time. We somehow managed to stay out until 5 am.

Some days after, B and I went on a hike up to Inasayama from the centre of the city. We were able to open up to each other a lot during this walk and just talked for ages. I hadn��t been hiking in a long while and even though I was cycling or walking to university everyday...I seemed to be a bit out of shape for the hike...Once we left the centre of the city and were hiking more rural routes I really felt it whereas B had been used to inclines like this since she lived at the top of a small mountain and had to walk a huge staircase everyday to get home so it was a piece of cake for her. This also took place on a gorgeous day in the sweltering heat and humidity and I seemed to have forgotten to pack water so it was tough, not gonna lie. I also had stopped wearing the hiking boots that I bought specifically for Japan after my trip to Taiwan since it was just a bad purchase, my feet could never breathe and were a sweaty mess after a day of wearing them...sorry TMI! So I was always spending my days, whether hiking or not, in my sandals that I bought in Taiwan. Not the smartest idea, but hey, at least I got a cool sandal tan (xD). Fortunately for me though, with regards to dehydration, Japan has the most vending machines of any country, about 1 for every 23 citizens and each one has water as well as many delicious and sometimes seasonal drinks so I was covered for refreshments. You can literally find these machines in the middle of nowhere and the most random of places. We were taking side streets up residential areas and we still found a couple. By the time we got close to the top of the mountain it all felt worth it. It was so beautiful, with spectacular views and we managed to catch such a nice breeze. I wish I could still go on hikes like that one with B. It feels so nostalgic to think about that day.

I think I mentioned back in chapter one or two that my home stay family unfortunately did not turn out to be so great even though in the beginning they seemed awesome; so I’m going to take a little break from my recollection of July to explain why that was since July was to be the last month that I would stay with them and I might as well get that out of the way. In the beginning, they really made me feel comfortable and happy and it’s a shame it turned out the way it did because I really wanted to have a second family in Japan through them. They didn’t by any means break my exchange experience but it is a slight unfortunate side to my time there. Before I met my home stay mother who was late picking me up on the first of April, my university informed me of how lucky I was to be staying with this family. This was primarily because their house was in the centre of Nagasaki city and close to everything I could need. I wouldn’t have minded at all being in the pure countryside though but oh well. They also said this because apparently my home stay family were veterans in hosting people but had taken a two year break from doing it and I was the first person that they had decided to take on in a while. (I later found out that it was because their last home stay student was this big smelly guy who just never left his room and seemed to watch anime all day, every day. My home stay family often compared me to him and said I was much better while basically bad mouthing him.). I think that after a month of living with my home stay family the novelty must have worn off which is strange that I would have been a novelty to them since they were so used to hosting foreigners but it truly felt like that. All of April was great and they really showed me a great time. From May onward, however, their attitude towards me just dropped. I tried to be as respectful as I could to them and never take advantage of their kindness or ask too much of them so I really don’t know what happened. They just became very neglectful and apathetic towards me. My theory is that even though my home stay mother was a stay at home mother she just had too much on her plate. She was very sociable and if she wasn’t tending to her high school aged daughter’s or junior high school aged son’s needs then she was taking part in some kind of event. Not that I think it should be her job to clean it but their house was always filthy so clearly she didn’t care about that either. Which meant she was outside of the house a lot of the time and wasn’t cooking or cleaning and which would result in the father having to cook, usually just enough for himself and his son. Essentially, if the mother wasn’t home then I wouldn’t get breakfast or dinner--which is what I paid for as part of my home stay package (and it was quite the expensive package). 

To be honest it felt like they were becoming quite stingy with me which didn’t make sense because I saved them a lot of money. I often went out with my friends and would always let them know when I was going out and didn’t need dinner and then in Ramadan when I spent the month fasting I never needed breakfast so they didn’t need to cook for an extra person for a long time. Regardless, there was one time when they all decided to go out for dinner for a special occasion and said I was allowed to come but had to pay for my portion. So either come out and pay for dinner with them or get no dinner at home and have to buy dinner anyway. It’s not like I was expecting them to pay for me but come on, I paid so much to live with them and they were saving so much money as it is but then were even having me pay for dinner with them? I guess I’m still a little bitter. On some days when it rained or when I didn’t have any plans, which was somewhat rare, they even seemed bothered by the idea that I might want to spend the whole day in the house and would ask if I was planning to go out at all. I went from really trying to be close with them and getting them to like me to just keeping to myself after a while. My little home stay brother who was in junior high didn’t seem to get the memo about being cold to me because in the end he was my only friend in the house and we would often play card games together. Don’t get me wrong though, I did try to at least communicate the food issue with my home stay mother but she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about and that the times that I didn’t get any dinner was because they didn’t know that I was in the house (???). A complete lie because I always informed them when I planned to be outside the house through text (always in Japanese) and when I didn’t say anything then that meant that I was planning to be home for dinner; besides she also never asked or made sure if I was planning to be out. 

Throughout July as well, my home stay mother was also just never around when I needed help with preparing to leave in August or would just make up an excuse and say she needed to do something when I needed her help. You see, I was planning to start backpacking around Japan come August and needed to sort out how to get my suitcase from Nagasaki to Tokyo and what to do with all of the things that I wasn’t planning to take with me i.e. donate or recycle. I had done some research on the best method to get my suitcase sent back to Tokyo without incurring any extra costs. When I sent my suitcase to Nagasaki from Tokyo in March it had a place to go to but since I would be backpacking and didn’t really have a place waiting for me at that point in Tokyo I couldn’t just send my suitcase all the way to Tokyo with nowhere to go but I had found out I could send it to a major post office, for example, Osaka city post office, and they would hold it for ten days free of charge before sending it back to where it came from and then I could just send it again to Tokyo from Osaka when I was to arrive in Osaka. It did need a lot of explanation to the post office staff on what I was planning to do and my suitcase was heavy enough already so I had to get rid of a bunch of stuff. This is where I thought my home stay mother would help me. First of all, the Nagasaki city post office was a bit far to be lugging around the suitcase from their apartment so I thought she could drive me there, help me donate some of my stuff and help to explain my plan to the post office staff. Alas, she wasn’t around to help with any of that and I had to figure it all out on my own. Anyway I’m getting a bit ahead of myself because that didn’t actually happen until the beginning of August but I wanted to paint a picture of what my home stay family was like before I mention them again later.

The end of July was super jam packed. On the 27th, I had my last day at the English school that I was working at and it felt like my time there had gone by so fast. My boss made it clear to me how much he wanted me to come back and work for him when I was to graduate. Working for him was quite the experience and I definitely learned a lot about myself as a teacher and about teaching and realised that I really enjoyed it which is why I decided from that point that I was going to work toward applying for the JET programme, but that’s a story for another time. My last shift was really sweet because I had bonded with a bunch of my students so each group of students from the various classes that I taught made me a little farewell card that I still have. I was really sad to be going but looking forward to possibly teaching in Japan again at some point in my future. 

The next day was the “graduation/farewell” ceremony for all of the exchange students at my university who were planning to leave. This was also sad but also so much fun because the school made a whole event out of it. There was food and music and everyone was dressed up so nice. I even put together my best outfit which was a flowery crop top hand me down from B and some nice overalls. Looking back on some photos though and by the end of my exchange I became so dark compared to how I normally am. I guess because I was walking to school everyday but I really don’t tan that easily in Vancouver, just shows how strong the sun is in Japan. My home stay mother also made a passing comment (before the graduation) about how it would have been nicer if I stayed whiter...I don’t think she meant to sound racist or anything and I am just doing a literal translation of what she said but I think she was just bewildered at how much I just didn’t care all that much that I was tanning and the fact that I was able to become so tanned and that I never put any effort in to look feminine. It also is not common at all for Japanese women to tan and actually they often try their best to cover their skin from the sun in the Summer since looking “white” or pale is something most girls strive to look like there. Anyway, the ceremony portion of the event was really nice and some of the exchange students who had been there longer gave a little speech. It felt super bittersweet to be saying goodbye to all my friends that I had met there from around the world. I met people from the U.S, the Netherlands, France, Vietnam, and China and we shared so much together whether in class or at some university event. I tried to write a letter to some of the people that I was close to and I ended each one with a little message that is a bit cheesy but why not? This was a landmark event in our lives. I said something along the lines of “this isn’t goodbye but see you later!” because I was planning to see them again and I have already met with some of them since then. Later that evening, B took me up to Inasa mountain to look at the stars, enjoy the night view of Nagasaki and celebrate the end of my studies. It was a lovely end to an eventful four months both at my part time job and university.

The day after graduating was the long awaited dance event of the pier side festival! It was quite the exhausting night and I was super nervous about whether I would dance well at all but it was a success! I was able to dance in sync with everyone else! By the end of it all I was super red in the face from what a workout it was and that it was just super humid. It felt like the whole city was there to watch. It was a little embarrassing because some of my students were there too as well some of my teachers from the university but it was a lot of fun and really cool to be able to represent the university and be in the spotlight like that. It honestly went by too fast. You know that feeling of tension that builds up before you get on a really scary looking roller coaster but then you get on and it’s over before you know it? That’s what this kind of felt like. Either way, a really memorable experience and I’m super glad that it was filmed by NHK and I was able to get a copy. Actually, now that I think about it. I pretty much did everything but vlog/blog when it came to collecting memories of things that happened. I took SO many photos of things, a few videos (both on a really bad and worn out phone) and whenever something was being filmed I always tried to get a copy of it. The second day of the pier side festival was the day I got to fulfil a little childhood fantasy of mine; I got to have my first go at a Summer festival at night in a yukata or Summer kimono and it was a blast! I felt super pretty in B’s hand me down yukata that she gave me which had a pink flowery design on a black background. I walked around with R and Corn and later met up with B, ate at some of the food stalls and watched the pretty fireworks for a good 30 minutes. It was absolutely lovely.

On the 30th, one of the senior American teachers that I had mentioned before who was somewhat in charge of the exchange students threw what was apparently his annual end of the year Summer party at his house. It seemed a tad bizarre to me that all of the Japanese first year students (other years were welcome too) and all of the exchange students were invited to party it up at a teacher’s house to celebrate finishing our studies but oh well. R made me promise to go since she had to be there as well because she was on the culture festival preparation committee or something and apparently everyone in the committee has to go to this party so she wanted me to be there too. I didn’t mind at all, I mean, I had some reservations about it because it was weird but also because I had to be up early the next day but since a couple other friends of mine were going as well as H who said he’d drive us (this teacher’s house was in the proper countryside, middle of nowhere). From what I can remember it was an interesting but still strange night. Several of the students didn’t care at all about drinking at a teacher’s house and people generally let loose. My only problem was a couple of the female first years and one girl in particular who got super wasted and was dressed in heels  and was just being really loud and obnoxious but still wanted to follow me and a few others across the street, in the dark, from the house, through a wooded area and to the beach on the other side for some fresh air and to just get away from everything at the party. I was a tad annoyed but mostly concerned that these girls would hurt themselves although no one else seemed to care. I don’t remember much else from that night apart from the fact that we seemed to be there until sunrise. Although my friends and I spent most of it walking around outside and found a really pretty bridge to catch the sunrise. It was a nice way to end a weird night. Although, it wasn’t exactly over. I and the couple of other friends just mentioned, one of which being N, the girl I participated in the dance party with, had committed to being in the Nagasaki Peron boat race, again to represent our university and had no time to go home and rest beforehand since it was meant to start a few hours later at around 9 am. So H, being the sweetheart that he is, stayed up with us and drove us to where the boat race was to take place, parked outside a convenience store and we napped there for about an hour and a half, got some breakfast and were ready to go. I was truly living the exchange life with all these all-nighters that didn’t involve studying. The boat race was a hit as well. I remember being super pumped for it and not feeling tired at all. At some point I memorised a sort of cheer that is said during the boat race and began to basically chant it over and over during the race which seemed to help motivate everyone to row faster. I can confirm that according to a photo that I just saw from the event, I had a blast but looked super goofy.

Boy Drama Part Three: The Finale

Bet you thought this was over! Well, not quite yet. You see I never finished talking about what happened with E and you may think that it just fizzled out...but not exactly. Actually, my ending with him took place from mid/end of June until about the middle of July but since I spoke about Y enough in part 2, I thought I might as well dedicate part 3 to E. It was very strangely just a couple of days after the incident with Y that E messaged me again and pretty much insisted on a second date. He even invited me over to his house but I quickly declined that offer. This was all probably owing to the fact that I had spoken to him at the university just recently about how my phone broke and I panic bought rice to fix it but didn’t know what to do with the rice afterwards and then he offered to take it off my hands. He wanted to eat my phone rice. Well, one less thing that I needed to worry about I guess. Anyway, I was still kinda reeling from what happened with Y near the end of June and having to think about my final assignments, the dance at the pier side festival and wrapping everything up with university but E insisted on a date even though he should have known that I would be busy with assignments being that he was a teacher, but sure, whatever. I agreed to a date for the first Sunday of July but told him that it would have to be a much more casual one since I was planning to get some studies done earlier in the day before meeting up with him. Well, that was the plan. I really should have never agreed to meet up with him because I didn’t even like him anymore but I thought he got the hint that I lost interest and we only had one date that wasn’t really romantic or anything. But he insisted on this date and I didn’t know how to tell him that I wasn’t into him anymore or, well, I just didn’t want to, apart from all the excuses that I tried to give him. 

The plan was for him to do his errands that he said he needed to do and that I would study at a cafe for a few hours and then we would meet up at 9pm for a night time stroll and maybe to get a snack or something. That didn’t happen. I cycled up to the cafe at about 5pm and he was there. I was so confused. We had agreed to meet at 9 but he was there. To be honest, I was feeling a bit ill as well and just wasn’t at all in the mood for this creepiness. I asked him what he was doing there so early and he said that he already finished his errands and thought we could start our date early. Um what? I told him that I hadn’t even started studying yet and he said it was ok and that he would join me while I studied. You might be thinking that should be nice, right? A Japanese teacher to sit with while I did my Japanese studies. Nope. I set myself up, and opened my books and instead of starting a conversation or asking what he could help with or anything, he just sat there and stared at me while I tried to finish my homework. Ahhhh the creep factor was strong with this one. I withstood that for all of 10 minutes before I just thought, right, this isn’t working. I packed up my stuff and told him we should go for a walk since I couldn’t concentrate. I remember my mood just getting more and more sour because, I’ll be honest, it was my time of the month and I was pmsing and he just wasn’t helping the matter. We walked around the city and pier and I tried to cheer myself up so that I didn’t seem too mean but I just found him utterly boring by that point. I think at some point he noticed that I wasn’t feeling well or something so he began to fill the silence a bit himself but it wasn’t really working. We decided to go into a supermarket after awhile and get some ice cream. We bought yukimi daifuku which was a brand of mochi ice cream and was delicious so that did help things a bit. Afterwards though, I decided that it was late enough that I could probably get away with ending the night there so I said that I wanted to go home and then he insisted on walking me home and wouldn’t take no for an answer. On the way back, he began to talk about how he can’t wait until I’m not his student anymore and how he wants to be able to be super open with his affection towards me and hold my hand while walking and do romantic things like that. I was too tired to think too much about it at the time but it really should have dawned on me at that point that this guy thought we were a couple. We had been on barely two dates and still hardly knew each other apart from texting for like a month and talking at school but he thought I was his girlfriend. 

We got back to my house and I thanked him and was about to leave but he went in for a goodbye hug which I obliged him on but after that went in for a kiss and I kid you not, I ducked out of the way. I don’t know if he thought it was a mistake or something but he tried to kiss me a second time!! And I friggin ducked again. I don’t know what to tell you, it’s like something out of a sitcom. You can’t make this stuff up. I don’t know what he was thinking but after that I quickly said bye again and just ran up the stairs. Later on, he sent me a message saying he had a fun night to which I did not reply. I honestly do not know what part of that “date” he thought had gone successful enough for a kiss or even that he felt any chemistry between us because trust me there was none. *sighs* Why do I seem to attract weirdos? (not including the bf, of course)

A week or two passed after that and I wasn’t seeing much of him at university because I only had him for a speaking class and by mid July those classes were done but he seemed to be acting normal. Well, I thought he seemed fine but one day I got a long text from him calling me a coward and basically saying I was ghosting him and planning to leave without breaking up with him and just stringing him along and just a bunch of things along those lines. That’s right, he said breaking up. I’m not exactly sure if this is the case in general in Japan, the verdict is still out but I think showing a bit of interest and going out on at least one date even though I never specifically said that I liked him and wanted to be his girlfriend meant that I was in fact his girlfriend and I was being a crappy one at that. I don’t know what he expected, we never talked about a future or anything on the date (and a half) that we went on, or through messenger, but I was due to be leaving Japan in under two months and Nagasaki in just a couple of weeks and not planning to return for at least a few years so what did he think was going to happen?? Ah, I still cringe and am still so confused. I replied to him and told him that I was planning to talk to him about the fact that I was leaving and say goodbye (which was a lie but in retrospect I probably should have actually meant to) but that I was busy and that he should have known how busy I was. In the end, I told him we should talk about it in person so I told him that I would cycle over to the school the following day and talk to him for a bit since I had to go there for dance practice anyway. The following day, I did just that and oh my goodness the tension in his office was surreal. I went in and closed the door because I thought he probably wouldn’t want anyone to be hearing our conversation but then he got up and opened it and then just wouldn’t stop glaring at me which made me sufficiently uncomfortable. He sat back down and continued to glare and just didn’t say anything. I tried to open up the conversation and say that I was really sorry if I hurt his feelings and that that wasn’t my intention at all but said a couple of the same things that I said through text to him which was that I was planning to be leaving in just a couple of weeks and didn’t think much would come of our relationship but that it would be nice to remain friends if possible. Nothing. He did not say a word. He continued to glare though which made me unable to look at him and I was just facing my lap the entire time. I tried to apologise more and get him to say something but my efforts were futile and after about five minutes I told him that I had to go to dance practice and promptly left. It was unreal how uncomfortable I was and how creepy he was. I never spoke to him again after that either, I did see him around the university up until graduation though but we made sure to avoid each other.

[lucianhuntress]

Love Colored Pens Chapter 4 - Hangover

It’s been forever with the Uni AU, so here it is.

Tagging @glaive-eve, because Eve is still being a bit raunchy with Noctis. But mostly focusing on Caitlin in this chapter!

Word count: 3060 Warnings: None

Caitlin woke up at the light, yet demanding knock on the door. Her cheek felt numb as it was glued against the toilet seat she held on to with her arms. The world spun around as she tried to focus her blurry gaze at her surroundings.

The bathroom. She had fallen asleep in the bathroom.

Another knock — a bit heavier — made the door slam against the frames.

“Caitlin! I need to use the toilet,” she heard Eve shouting from the other side.

“Uh… give me a second,” Caitlin rasped and swept a dried trail of drool from her chin. The headache started kicking in and as she tried to stand up, she fell down on her rear instead. Now her backside was in pain too — just what she needed.

Eve knocked again, only enhancing the painful thud that vigorously pounded in Caitlin’s head.

“I said−ahh… gimme a sec!” she groaned and turned around. Caitlin had to crawl towards the door to open the lock and she must have been quite the sight as her arm hung on to the handle. Eve stared at her through the gap Caitlin had managed to push open with her remaining strength.

Eve pulled the door open and Caitlin’s hand lost its grip. “Morning,” she chuckled in amusement. She was surprisingly cheery after a long and heavy night.

Caitlin managed to lift her head just enough to see the young woman staring at her — and obviously enjoying the torment Caitlin was in. “Mmmorng,” Caitlin muttered. Her throat felt as dry as Leide was on a good summer day.

“Are you okay?” Eve asked, her tone reflecting a hint of worry mixed with delight as she observed Caitlin’s suffering.

“I’m not sure,” Caitlin answered quietly. She managed to take a hold on the doorframes as she slowly stood up, her arms and legs shaking. “Ugh… I’m never drinking again…”

She traded glances with Eve, who was eagerly waiting to be let into the bathroom. Caitlin noticed how she was already dressed up and looked so fresh right in the morning. Maybe she hadn’t been that drunk as Caitlin managed to recall. Thinking made her see stars and she had to give up with the questions.

Caitlin took an unsure step to let Eve into the bathroom.

“I’m making breakfast, so come eat when you can,” Eve said before closing the door after her.

“Sure… thing…” Caitlin sighed and scuffled towards her bedroom in the most awkward way.

Caitlin took her time changing her clothes. She had to be careful with her actions, as her head started throbbing immediately every time she moved. It had been a while since the last time she had been drinking and now the hangover was just… the worst.

She had spent the night on the bathroom floor, wearing Eve’s dress and all the makeup she had put on was now smeared across her face. She must have been a pitiful sight right in the morning. Caitlin sighed at her reflection through the full-length mirror she had bought a couple of days earlier.

After a moment of brooding in her hangover, Caitlin heard the bathroom become vacant. She made her way back to take a shower before the promised breakfast.

Fresh from the shower, Caitlin emerged from her bedroom wearing black top and skintight dark blue jeans. The well spent moments in the shower had gradually made her feel better and she made her way to the kitchen.

The bag she had prepared at her room after changing her clothes, swung happily in her hand when her eyes fixed on two figures — eating breakfast at the kitchen counter. Caitlin squinted as she thought it was the alcohol still toxifying her blood.

Nope, they were still there.

Caitlin tried blinking a couple of times, she even took a deep breath with her eyes completely shut — but still the raven-haired guy didn’t disappear from her line of sight. Her hand squeezed around the strap of her bag as she stared at him; sitting on the chair she always sat on. The strap slipped from Caitlin’s tight grasp and the bag fell on the floor, causing a feeble thud at the collision.

What was Noctis doing at their kitchen? He was just casually eating the breakfast Eve had cooked.

“A-actually, I−uhhhh−I’m not that hungry a-and my work starts like, really soon,” Caitlin let out a nervous mix of a cough and laugh as she stuttered with her words. She didn’t even look Eve in the eye, because she had already dashed to the vestibule to pull her heels on.

She had never left the apartment in such hurry before and her madly pounding head was once again filled with questions. “What the hell is going on?” her head was spinning from the possible reasons for Noctis being in their apartment.

“Well that was fast,” Eve said peeking over Noctis’s shoulders at the spot Caitlin had dashed from. “And here I cooked breakfast for you too…”

“Huh?” Noctis asked, lifting his sleepy gaze from the cereal bowl he had in front of him. Eve bit her lip wondering what went wrong and shrugged.

“Caitlin’s not here?” Noctis asked as if he had just realized something. Eve stared at him in bemusement and nodded slowly. “Well, if she won’t be coming back any time soon — I guess we could do the round three then,” Noctis said nonchalantly, the corners of his lips tugging themselves into a smug smirk.

Eve rolled her eyes and sighed, “Fine.” She quickly darted off to Caitlin’s bedroom to snatch a few condoms before returning to her bedroom with Noctis. Eve made a mental note for herself to pay her back later. Maybe.

Caitlin hurried outside, she felt out of breath and her dry throat was aching to be watered. She covered her burning eyes from the bright morning light with her palm and tried to peek underneath her fingers to see where she was headed. Her headache was only getting worse from the extra sun. Of course she had forgotten to take the sunglasses with her.

“Just what the hell, Eve?” Caitlin pondered after she had decided to head towards the campus café. The shock from seeing Noctis at the breakfast table had made her lose her composure completely and the only outcome from it was a rumbling stomach. Not to mention the painkillers she had never had the chance to have.

The campus café was a good place to grab some takeaway food, because Caitlin still had plenty of time before her shift would start.

It was a popular place for students to sit down for a coffee, hang out with friends, or maybe even study while eating some delicious pastry they sold at the place. And at evenings the cafe was a popular place to buy a few drinks before heading off to somewhere else.

Caitlin’s mind was craving for something salty instead of a slice of a cake and just the image of food made her speed up her steps.

She had never actually been there before and she had only heard about it from Eve just a couple of days ago. Apparently, there had been a lot of parties going on in campus area on the previous night, so the surroundings were still pretty quiet and somewhat drowsy.

Caitlin reserved herself a table from the café by throwing her bag on chair at a free table by the window. The furniture, decorations and basically everything in there looked cozy and inviting. She had no doubt that the place was popular; the location was perfect and everything was sold at quite reasonable prize.

Her mind had almost found its peace, only to be disrupted by a familiar face.

Of course it had to be Gladiolus Amicitia, wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. Just the sight of him made Caitlin feel uncomfortably warm, even when she wasn’t wearing that many pieces of clothing. There he was, standing happily in the line, looking like he was about to hit the gym.

Caitlin felt a shiver going down her spine as she managed to recall a few things that had happened the night before. Her body grew even warmer at the memory of his amber colored eyes fixated on hers. How his breath had fanned against her skin as he was whispering something to her, with a mischievous yet flirty gaze in his eyes.

If she hadn’t been so hungover, Caitlin would have gladly attempted to strike a conversation with the tall man, but now she would have rather spent her morning alone in silence.

If only she had been that lucky.

Gladiolus had of course noticed her across the room and once he was done with his order, he walked over to Caitlin’s table where she had been waiting in silence for the line to disappear. She didn’t really feel like standing patiently for breakfast — or chatting with Gladiolus.

“Good morning!” Gladiolus greeted and took a seat across the table. Caitlin lifted her gaze from the table.

“Uh, hi,” Caitlin mumbled, hungrily side-eyeing the display near the counter. “Does he even know what is hangover?” Her stomach growled and Gladiolus grinned in amusement.

“Sounds like you’re hungry,” he chuckled and bit his lip as he eyed Caitlin smugly.

“That’s why I’m here,” Caitlin sighed and averted her gaze from the display full of cakes and sandwiches. She quickly peered at him, feeling a bubbling, warm heat rising to her cheeks. Caitlin flashed a tiny smile, but the pounding headache ripped it quickly away.

“I was about to hit the gym,” Gladiolus said, “but I guess I could drink this coffee and chat with you while you eat, if it’s fine with you.”

“No. I don’t want to chat with you when I feel like this,” she rolled her eyes, causing a sharp twinge piercing her forehead. “Sure — take a seat and… I’ll— uh, go buy some breakfast, then,” she mumbled.  The short line had scattered all around the café while Gladio had been busying Caitlin with his presence.

She slowly stood up and walked over to make her order. Gladiolus followed her movements with a sneaky side-eye, while he sipped his takeaway coffee.

Caitlin purchased a sandwich and an Altissian orange juice. She also indulged herself a slice of a cheesecake. It didn’t take long for her to hurry back to the table with her breakfast.

They sat in silence for a moment as Caitlin started wolfing down her breakfast. It almost seemed like she hadn’t eaten for days and Gladiolus found it amusing.

“It was one damn party last night,” Gladiolus chuckled after a moment of peaceful stillness. Caitlin glanced at him under her brows. She had only blurry memories of the things that happened at the party and she’d rather not discuss it with someone in the morning after. It just made her feel more embarrassed than she wanted.

“Yeah,” she mumbled quietly, taking a bite from her sandwich and trying to push the glimpses of memories as far as she could. Caitlin leaned her elbow against the table and rested her head on her palm as she chewed the bread.

“That bad, huh?” Gladiolus asked, but the corners of his mouth curled into a tender smile. “She really does have a hangover.”

“You know— I just woke up in the bathroom, so I guess it’s bad,” Caitlin sighed and narrowed her eyes. She tried to focus her gaze on Gladiolus without her head exploding. But instead of feeling hammering pain in her head, she felt how her heart started racing mildly.

He stared at her with his amber eyes, his lips slightly apart. Caitlin’s eyes couldn’t decide where to look; his eyes or the inviting smile on his lips. She swallowed and took another bite from her sandwich.

“Wow,” Gladiolus gasped and nodded with a bemused expression.

“So I guess I had a lot of fun last night,” Caitlin mumbled and felt a wave of heat creeping up her neck. The hairs on the back of her neck bristled as she tried to avoid the vague memories and she found herself averting her gaze once again.

The dog peeing outside seemed far more interesting, than the hot guy sitting across the table.

“Don’t worry, you didn’t do anything embarrassing,” he chuckled.

“I never said anything about… uhhh…” she grimaced and hid her face behind her palm. The headache was there, pounding her head madly again.

“No, but you were thinking about it,” he smiled gently. “She’s cute when she’s that flustered.”

“I hope you’re right” Caitlin sighed and shifted her gaze upon Gladiolus again. He was sipping his coffee, looking innocent as ever. Caitlin scoffed quietly, but he didn’t seem to notice. “So, Gladiolus…”

“You can call me Gladio,” he winked, making her heart flutter mildly.

“Okay— Gladio,” Caitlin let out a nervous half-giggle, “do you have any thoughts about Eve and Noctis? Because I saw them sitting in our kitchen, eating breakfast way too casually.” Caitlin bit her lip. As if it would ease the headache. “I mean… I thought they were friends, not fuckmates?”

They certainly couldn’t be just friends. They both had literally glowed after the night out.

Gladio chuckled, “Yeah, they’ve been like that for ages. Pretend you just saw two friends sharing a breakfast.”

“Pretend? Ah, fucking hell,” Caitlin groaned. As if she could act oblivious to the scenes going behind everyone’s back.

Gladiolus pulled the zipper on his hoodie downwards just a bit. It was enough for Caitlin to see a just a tiny bit of his tattoo. It was also enough for her to get her eyes glued on the piece of bare skin underneath that hoodie. She had to swallow and down the remaining of her juice.

It felt so good, when her throat had been dry all morning.

“Yeah. You can tell it by the way they look at each other,” Gladiolus said, biting his lower lip, eyeing Caitlin. “She is cute when she is hungover and edgy,” he thought, smiling to himself. “And that they are really bad at covering it up.”

“Ah, fine. But I won’t pretend if I can’t sleep at nights if they are doing their… thing,” Caitlin sighed and pushed the tray away just a bit. She didn’t feel hungry anymore.

“Fair enough. Just let them live in the illusion that they are doing it in secret. Prompto is the only one that has no idea,” Gladiolus chuckled. “So is that why you came here for breakfast?”

“Yeah, my work starts soon and I kinda panicked at home when I saw Noctis in the kitchen.”

She had thought Eve was at home alone with her and she had also thought Eve was just friends with the boys. Never would she have thought Eve was actually sleeping with one.

“Oh, where do you work?” Gladiolus asked, flashing his perfect smile that melted even the worst hangover edginess.

“There’s this pharmacy. Close to the place I used to — uh, live,” Caitlin said, feeling her cheeks heating up again. “I am the cashier. It’s a small place, a family business.”

“Well it’s a good thing to eat breakfast then,” Gladiolus said, winking and taking a gulp of his coffee. Sitting at the table in front of Gladiolus had a funny feeling in it and Caitlin would’ve never thought of chatting so casually with the man she secretly wanted to undress.

“You’re supposed to be mourning over the break up! Stop flirting with him!” her thoughts screamed violently, making her head hurt even more. The constant debate going in her head did no good to her so early in the morning. “He’s so hot… —but I just broke up! Who cares? Go get him girl! — NO!”

“Did you take any painkillers in the morning? Or is it your stomach now?” Gladiolus asked slightly worried at Caitlin’s twisting face. Not like she could have admitted what was going in her head. The headache not giving up and suppressing all the needs she had was taking its toll on her.

“I’m—fine,” Caitlin rasped finally. “I think I should leave for work.”

“Okay,” Gladiolus nodded, sounding slightly surprised.

Caitlin picked up her bag from free chair next to her and rushed out of the cafe, to head out to her workplace.

She arrived at the pharmacy earlier than usual. As she entered the shop, the clean scent filled her nose, making her to stifle a sneeze that tingled her nostrils uncomfortably. Caitlin noticed her co-worker tending to an elderly couple looking for laxatives. She had to bite back a fit of giggles already forming in her throat. At least she didn’t have to help the couple with the right products this time.

Caitlin walked with hurried steps to the locker room, where her work clothes were kept. She walked past the office and heard someone shouting for her.

“Caitlin! Come here!” a sharp and strict voice carried over from the office. It belonged to Mr. Gleason. He was the owner of the pharmacy along with his wife, Mrs. Gleason. It was their family business and Caitlin worked there as a part-time cashier —and an occasional laxative finder, as she tended to call herself sometimes.

“What is it?” Caitlin rolled back and leaned at the door frame. She eyed the man with a white coat and grey thick beard.

“I hate to say this —well, not that much really, but anyway. You’re fired,” he sighed as he chewed the tip of a pencil.

“E-excuse me?” Caitlin yelped astounded. She had done absolutely nothing to deserve getting fired. She was at work always on time and she handled the customers already like a pro.

“Well, our son is now old enough to work here and you know, we’d prefer if our whole family worked in here,” he said with narrowed eyes while shuffling some papers in his hands. Caitlin stared at him her mouth wide open. “It’s expensive to keep way too many cashiers in here, so it had to be you.”

“Are you seriously firing me?!”

“Indeed I am,” he said bluntly, “Besides, my wife hates you.”

“Well fuck you and fuck your stupid pharmacy!” Caitlin raged, storming out of the drugstore, toppling down some shelves with diarrhea medicine along her wake.

[lovefromruthie]

Chocolate Chunk Cookies

I used to love going on shopping trips with my mum and I still do. Growing up with so many brothers and the demands that came with teenage life, a shopping trip to the Metro Centre with mam was a welcome treat. Often a trip there would involve a cake, coffee or treat stop. My favourite thing was when the Metro Centre actually used to have a Haagen Dazs cafe - we'd often start there before doing any shopping! Sadly, it is no longer. Sometimes, instead, we'd stop at Millie's Cookies and get something for us both as well as something for the rest of la familia at home.

Millie's Cookies continued the appeal in my teenage years when the Millie's Cookie Cake came on the scene and it was all the rage at any 13 year old's birthday party!

Fast forward a few years...the price of a single Millie's Cookie is 99p!! Eeks! Yorkshire has clearly made its impact on me as I can't bring myself to pay for that...especially when I have this tasty recipe up my sleeve.

My passion for baking really began at university. It was my relief when looking for a break from studying and I loved that I could share it with housemates to help with uni stress...those were the days! There were two recipes that I remembered making, in particular, in my first year. There was an easy chocolate mousse which went in my colourful plastic cups - tasteful, haha! The other...was these cookies. My flatmates, friends and family absolutely fell in love with these. My dad and my brothers would keep expressing how delicious they were and how they were just as good, if not better, than Millie's Cookies! No joke or an oversized-cookie-ego here, bake these right and you will be super pleased with these! Put your 99p away and treat yourself to a batch!

I love this recipe and I adapt it to who I'm baking for. I often wrap these in little boxes or cellophane bags and give them as gifts. Sometimes, when the pennies are tight, I'll bake these as part birthday gifts for my family. I don't get embarrassed about this because I know they'll enjoy them and can be a bit more thoughtful than a bought gift.

As I say, it's easily adaptable - do at least 2 x of 85g for the 'chocolate chunks' etc and you're good to go. You can use any type of chocolate, fudge chunks. Nick can't have chocolate so I put in a teaspoon of ground cinnamon with the flour, 85g of fudge pieces and 85g of plump raisins. Instead, you could also take out 25g of the flour and put in good-quality cocoa powder instead for extra chocolaty treat. You could make things sophisticated by adding caramel pieces and sprinkling on sea salt or add freeze dried raspberries to white chocolate. Yum.

In the photo above, left to right  - Milk Chocolate Chunk, White Chocolate and Raspberry and Birthday Cake (White Chocolate, Rainbow Sprinkles and Almond Extract). The Milk Chocolate batch were baked straight away, the Birthday Cake was refrigerated for 45 minutes - you can see that there is a slight improvement in uniformity for the latter. 

So, let's get baking! But, before I start, take note of this number one rule! Have a bit of faith when you bake these. Bake only for 10 minutes, no longer. When you take them out, you won't be able to pick them up as they will be way too soft. You're looking for a little bit of golden brown around the edges and nothing more. As you take them out, leave them to cool on the tray for 5-10 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack. Then sink your teeth into the perfect cookie - slightly chewy and crispy outside, with a gooey middle full of melting chocolate.

I hope you enjoy these. Let me know how you get on with them!

If you want to post the recipe, please refer to my blog :)  

Love from Ruthie x

Ingredients:

85g butter, softened

85g castor sugar

85g soft light brown sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

175g Self-Raising Flour

Pinch of Bicarb of Soda

2 x 85g of Chocolate pieces, fudge, raisins etc. I like to indulge my inner Kidult by using Cadbury's.

Recipe:

1. Pre-heat a fan assisted oven to 1800C and line two trays with baking paper.

2. Either using a bowl and spatula, or a stand mixer, beat butter until softened. Then add the castor sugar until all blended, then the soft brown sugar. It should be smooth, light in colour and no lumps of butter remain.

3. Beat egg into a small bowl, using a fork. Mix in the vanilla extract here too. Then gradually add the egg into the butter/sugar mixture until incorporated.

4. Mix flour and bicarb of soda together in another bowl and then sift into the cookie mixture.

5. Fold in the chocolate pieces.

TIP: At this stage, you can cover and put the bowl into in the fridge. I rarely do this but if I'm looking for perfectly neat cookies, I refrigerate the mixture for 45 minutes to an hour.

6. Using a heaped teaspoon, place the mixture on the tray. Ensure space between the cookies so they don't hold hands as they cook in the oven.

7. Bake for 10 minutes no longer! If you do decide to refrigerate, you can bake for up to 11 minutes. You're looking for slightly golden brown edges. Once complete, leave to cool on the tray for 5-10 minutes. Afterwards, carefully transfer the cookies to a cooling tray. Once cool, enjoy or put into an airtight container where they will keep nicely for up to 3 days.

Enjoy!

[theusualspotcafe-blog]

Teacher Appreciation

Game: Final Fantasy XV

Characters: Prompto Argentum, Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, Lea, Nyx Ulric, Libertus Ostium

Pairing: Nothing but friendship!

Rating: General

Author: The Usual Spot Cafe

Word Count: 778 Words

Notes: Nothing much to say here except I think Luna and Prompto would totally bond over crushing on Nyx Ulric, because let’s be honest, who wouldn’t? This is just a cute little story about Prom and Luna being friends, hope you all enjoy!

“Oh my astrals! Prompto, look!” The blond glanced over his shoulder at where Luna was staring, catching sight of the tall, rugged, and extremely handsome Mr. Ulric.

Prompto gasped, looking back at Luna’s blue eyes, “Shiva! He’s even more attractive in person!” Prompto glanced back over and saw him sitting at a corner table, pulling his laptop out and rolling the sleeves of his button up shirt up to his elbow. He heard Luna sigh dreamily behind him and grinned. “So, Lu, just how many of his classes have you taken?”

She blushed and mumbled something in her hand before Prompto leaned forward, eliciting an exasperated sigh from her and causing her to speak up. “I’ve taken Galahdian culture, Oerba culture, and ancient cultures with him. There, are you satisfied?”

Prompto chuckled, leaning back in his chair and sipping his latte, “Noct must just love your little crush on a teacher.”

Luna gasped, playfully smacking him with her notebook, “You’re so mean, Prom!” He chuckled, taking a bite of his pumpkin carriage cupcake while she looked back and forth between the register and Mr. Ulric.

Prompto looked at her with narrowed eyes, chewing slowly before speaking to her, “What are you thinkin’, Lu?”

Luna grinned, grabbing her purse and making to get up, “That it’s teacher appreciation day.”

Prompto stared at her, shock filling his blue eyes as she walked to the register, heels clacking on the wooden floorboards. Prompto could see her talking to Lea, and gesturing at the table the cultural studies teacher sat at before she took a pen from her purse and wrote something on a napkin, handing it to the redhead. She then paid what looked like a couple gil and walked back to their table, a smile on her face. “What did you just do?”

Luna sipped her hot chocolate, looking at him with nothing but innocence in her eyes. “I simply am showing a wonderful teacher how much his students appreciated him.” With that she gestured to his table where Lea was bringing him a Tenebraen cake and Luna’s napkin.

Ulric raised an eyebrow and looked at their table as Lea pointed them out. Luna waved at him and he smiled while Prompto internally panicked. “What did you write on the napkin?”

Luna giggled, “Nothing steamy, I assure you. I simply wrote, happy teacher appreciation day, enjoy the cake, from Luna Nox Fleuret and Prompto Argentum.”

“What! You put my name on it?” Luna nodded, smiling at his dumbstruck face. He looked back over at Mr. Ulric, just noticing that Mr. Ostium, who he’d had for civics his first semester here, had joined him and was laughing. “Is it even teacher appreciation day?”

At that Luna shrugged, sipping her cocoa nonchalantly. Prompto groaned, wishing that the floor would suck him in and that he’d never signed up for Ulric’s class with the other blonde.

Nyx looking up at the tall barista who had brought him the cake, “Um, I didn’t order this.”

Lea handed him the napkin and pointed at a table with two blondes, “They bought it for you, sir.” The redhead went back to work and Nyx saw that the two were now looking over, the boy looking almost scared and the girl looking, well smug frankly. He smiled at the two of them before going back to his Galahdian brew.

“Not like you to get cake, Nyx.” He looked up to see his friend Libertus standing there, a stack of papers in his arms.

“From a couple of lovely students,” He gestured vaguely over to the blondes’ table. Libertus began laughing and Nyx looked up at him with a glare. “What’s so funny?”

The civics teacher wiped tears from his eyes as he continued to chuckle, “Just happy I don’t have students staring at me like a starving man stares at a piece of meat is all.”

Nyx felt heat rise in his cheeks, but fought it down with a grin, “Yes, but you also don’t get cake.” He took a forkful of the cake and shoved it in his mouth, smirking at the pout now present of his childhood friend’s face. If he got cake for the students mooning over him constantly, he’d take it. He looked down at the napkin. He’d had Miss Nox Fleuret in three of his classes already, but he’d never had Argentum. He logged onto the school website and pulled up his class schedules for next semester. He saw both Argentum and Nox Fleuret on one of his class lists and sighed. If this was what those two were like together…well, it would be an interesting semester to say the least.

[rainbowsparklern]

Austin Texas

March 3, 2019 to March 9, 2019

Jeff and I took a vacation to Austin Texas in March during his school spring break. Our plane landed a little after 1pm and we went straight to get our rental car. Once we were moving, we drove to a cute little cafe that was supposed to be very vegan/vegetarian friendly, to grab some lunch. When we arrived, we were told the wait was approx 45 minutes to an hour so we left and drove to downtown Austin. We parked in a very confusing garage but made it out onto 1st street where we ate lunch at a really yummy place called North Italia. Jeff got short rib hash and eggs and I got the french toast. Our coffees were great which was a plus! After getting back to our car and finding our way out of the garage, we went to the Bullock Texas State History museum. We had a good time starting our trip off with some Texas history. After, we checked into our first airbnb which was in a great location but it was a little outdated and older. We unpacked our things and then took a power nap that didn't give us much power. When we got up we went to Wholefoods and bought a few things for breakfast for the next few days. We also bought some Austin inspired cupcakes and had our dinner there. Jeff had a pizza and I had a veggie burger and fries. We ended our night there and went back to get a good nights rest.

Day 2 in Austin began with us making a nice breakfast in our airbnb. We made eggs, potatoes, and toast. We also had some fresh fruit and kombucha! We had scheduled a tour for that am so we drove and parked our car near the Austin visitor center which was our tour starting point. Austin Detour was the company and they gave a great tour and helped us get a feel for the city. The tour started around 11:30am and we saw and went into the Capitol building. The rest of the tour was driving around the city, getting an idea of where things were in Austin. Near the end of the tour, we stopped at some food trucks at the South First Food Court and got a free treat that was included in the tour. The food truck was Manolis and Jeff and I both got a hot gooey chocolate brownie which tasted amazing! When the tour was over we perused the visitor center shop and walked around a bit. It was freeeeeezing cold out though and the wind was blowing strong so we weren't too keen on walking around outside. We stopped into a Russian coffee shop called Europe Coffee Bar and got some hot drinks. I ordered the Raffaello which was espresso, coconut liqueur, half & half, and whipped cream. It was delicious. Jeff ordered a really strong Russian coffee which wasn't great but had a lot of caffeine. After warming up with some coffee, we went back to the airbnb and got ready for the evening. We took an uber to a brewery that ended up being closed and then decided to walk to another local brewery called Lazarus Brewing. This got complicated though because there was road construction blocking off our path and it took us longer than expected which was unpleasant in the cold and windy weather. We also had to climb over some train tracks that weren't meant for crossing over. Once at the brewery though, we relaxed and enjoyed some drinks. I got a flight of beer and Jeff ordered a beer. We ordered some tacos which were really good! After that we took another uber to a restaurant called True Food Kitchen that ended up having great food. We split two pizzas and enjoyed a few more drinks. We then called it a night and went back to bed due to a early day the next day.

Day 3 in Austin began with a short road trip to Waco Texas to go to Magnolia Farm! On our way up, we listened to the model health podcast and stopped for coffee at Malone Specialty coffee truck. We got some amazing hot coffees from the really cute coffee “food truck.” When we arrived in Waco we wanted to go to Magnolia Table for breakfast but I didn't know it wasn't located at the same place as Magnolia Farm. So we arrived at the wrong place but quickly got directions and made the quick drive to Magnolia Table. There was a 45 minute wait for breakfast/lunch when we arrived which was what we had expected. We arrived around noon and put our name right on the list. While you wait for your table though, there is a little gift shop attached to the restaurant along with a coffee stand and a bunch of outdoor seating with overhead heat lamps. I bought some local honey from the gift shop. We were seated at a family style table and ordered some breakfast. I started off with a freshly squeezed juice flight and jeff a coffee. I ate eggs, toast, greens, tomatoes, and avocado. Jeff ate up tater tots, a biscuit, eggs, and sausage. We also split a bowl of tomato soup. Everything was delicious. After brunch, we went back to the silos and hit up the bakery. At the Silos Bakery we ordered 4 cupcakes! We got the strawberries and cream, lemon lavender, the chocolatier, and the carrot cake cupcake. We ate them throughout the rest of our trip in Austin and they were some of the best cupcakes I have every had! After the bakery we checked out the Magnolia shops, Silos, and the garden. It wasn't crazy busy which was nice but man was it still cold out. After exploring all of Magnolia Farms, we went to another few shops in town and grabbed a coffee at Pinewood Coffee Bar which was a cool place and seemed like an area a lot of college students went to study. My Aunt lives in Round Rock Texas so we stopped at her house and spent the evening with her on our way back to Austin. My aunt Monica had made the trip up from Houston to see Jeff and I also, so she was there along with my aunt Susie's husband B-Bob. We enjoyed champagne and snacks at her place and then went out to dinner. Jeff and I drove back to the airbnb after dinner and called it a night!

Day 4 began with an amazing breakfast at Better Half Coffee and Cocktails. I had a breakfast sandwich which was an english muffin, crispy hash browns, smoked paprika aioli, and a fried farm egg. I could've eaten five of them! Jeff ordered the Waffle Iron Hashbrowns and equally enjoyed his meal. After that we made an appointment to go to the Cathedral of Junk and went straight there. That was um...interesting? A local guy takes “junk” and builds it into a sort of building/art piece in his backyard. The amount of junk is mind blowing. After that we walked along S. Congress st. We stopped and grabbed a juice at Toms roasting and swung in the hammock out front. We grabbed some dinner at Torchys Tacos which had amazing queso but not so great tacos in my opinion. Later we drove by the graffiti park but it was closed so we just parked and admired the art from afar. They had shut the park down permanently due to too many drugs being sold/used there. Some of the art was going to be taken and reused in other places eventually. Next we hit up a local smoke shop where Jeff bought a bowl. We quickly ran home after that and grabbed a pair of Bird Scooters and scooted to the Ann Richards Bridge to watch the bats. It was early in the season so there wasn't as many bats as the warmer months but we definitely saw a few hundred bats fly out from under the bridge which was really neat. We then went to Gibson St Bar to grab a drink before meeting up with Jeffs college friend Heidi and her boyfriend Sam. We went to her new house that they were renting. Her daughter was sleeping so we didn't get to meet her unfortunately. Sam and her had stopped drinking for over a year because they hated having a hangover and trying to parent but Jeff and I enjoyed a little wine and had some good conversation with them and ended our night there.

[readfelice-blog]

Moominland Chronicles achtzehn: Gran Torino

Hello, let’s just jump straight in shall we?

Oh, no wait, firstly,  have a look at Colin Self’s Siblings (which is surprising and delightful in certain places, I’m only on my first listen though so havent got to its core yet.)

https://colinself.bandcamp.com/album/siblings

And something a bit more Italian for you, Franco Battiato, who was the essence that was channeled vicariously in the naming of LA LUCE AL BUIO,

-Un’ora Con…

….Makes for very interesting listening, there's a clangers track in there, though I’m not sure if that's what Franco was going for it definitely made me smile:

This is fetus (a track off the album but it's hard to source online so might be a spotify / google play search tbh) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd_59SCLlZY

Well then, Turin’s right nice.

I got a plane at 6:30 in the morning, the wing of the airport I was leaving from was closed when I got there.

This time I got a seat on the bus to get to the airport. My seat was directly in front of a mentally disturbed man who was walking up and down the aisle for the entire journey. He eventually got blocked in by other passengers boarding, he had a strange distant smile, I can't say it wasn’t disconcerting, but it was also curious and strangely beautiful.

He disappeared when we arrived at Tegel, I doubt he was getting a plane, though who knows, perhaps he was some fractured billionaire burnt out from all the money he was juggling.

After customs took their seats and sent me through the barriers I sat to wait for the cafe to open, wrote my diary: which is another thing im doing now, in case you're not content with one ‘Felice’s tell all story’ - theres now a rawer instagram only version charting my journey through ‘восем acht ocho’ as well, its totally unedited bile and thoroughly embarrassing - I’m not re reading / editing it, but it’s the best way to keep track of all these publications being haphazardly launched around Central Europe.

The airline I was flying with was called Lauda, some subdivision of Ryanair, who I bought my ticket through, all the staff had Ryanair uniforms on and the plane was a Ryanair plane.

Last week I was a bit mad on death, I read Michel De Montaigne’s essay ‘To philosophize is to learn how to die’ and then put its message into practise - looking for and becoming acquainted with death wherever I went, envisioning it in the lamp light of darkened streets, the glass eyes of dolls and even under the toilet seat.

Lauda was death, a Ryanair flight would never crash, not in my mind, but a Lauda flight could….

We left Berlin in fine weather, we travelled to a sunless sky framed by thick blocks of grey. As we went along the turbulence was unbearable, I am not an easy flier, perhaps I've not done it enough, but also I’m riddled with anxiety before I even get in the sky, one small shake is ok, but a continuous rattle for 20 mins and the safety belt signs coming on whilst still mid journey does not fare well with me. I was utterly convinced at one point that it was the end of my relatively short but eventful time on earth and glad I’d written my last requests before I left, though much more scared than I wanted to be.

Breathe deep, it does work.

Just as we descended and the spectre of death rescinded I suddenly realised how incredible the view was outside my window and eagerly attended to the sight of clouds upon clouds, a dense celestial cacophony lit by the golden rays of the sun. We passed through this heavenly land, everything becoming hazy and disappearing into the fog of vapor.

When we landed the plane applauded the pilot, clearly I was not the only person on board so terrified that if I’d clenched my fists any tighter they’d have snapped off my wrists.

Our pilot deserved those claps, he flew us close to death but was strong enough to skim it rather than be sucked in.

The airport was the same as last year,

no wait no it wasn't because I flew to Milan

and then had two train rides to Torino (Turin), the second train was very pleasant, trains are nice in Italy, they have power ports under the seats and are 2 floors like double decker buses. I think some of them are like that in Germany to.

This year I was officially in Italy, joyfully attached to my window, taking in the edge of decay that skirted wonderful quaint yellow houses, one glass fronted building bursting out of another which contained hundreds of lamps in different shades and sizes. Studying the people, handsome and somehow and open, there was a vividness to their faces that arrested me.

And I was in Italy when I got off the train and walked on to the streets of Torino, it wasn’t Paris or Berlin or Helsinki or Cork, it wasn't the setting where I would be saved by a man I’d never met before.

It was captivating and full of heart.

Firstly, my ableton tote that held 3 publications needed attending to, I neatly veered towards Piazza Statuto, reputedly a potential gate to hell, this little trip would chart me walking from dark to light.

It was raining as I stood under the jagged rocks and mangled bodies of the Monument, I’d been panicking that the rain would ruin these labored over gifts , where would I leave them?? Not in toilets, especially not disgusting piss sprayed italian cafe toilets, they were worth more than that, as with much of my life I stepped back a little from this worry and just trusted that something would present itself.

A couple approached me after a short time of being stood in front of the gates of hell, they asked in Italian, then English, for me to take a photo of them, I talked myself down from chucking my parcel in their direction and then launching myself the opposite way. This turned out to be sensible, as the opportunity then presented itself, in the form of a thick tree stump, under the gaze of the tortured stone faces. It had once been a pair of trees, but now in the wet air of the afternoon, it was one tree and one monument of a tree, the remaining oak sheltering its lost compadre with thick branches still full of leaves.

They were off the beaten path, in truth I wondered if it would be found, the person that might spy it would have to be observant and sensitive: children would find it, but I don't want kids to find these books, there's some art smut not for children's eyes bound inside the covers.

The act of leaving this gift was much easier than I envisioned, it turns out you can do all sorts of things in plain sight and most people won’t even bat an eyelid, at least not in Torino that day.

I really like Italy now.

I left it, then I zipped off to a nearby cafe to have a cup of tea (coffee is to strong for my delicate disposition these days). Last year I spoke to no one for days, but after months of not being able to speak German in Germany, not being able to speak Italian in Italy wasn't quite such a big deal.

The cafes I visited remind me a bit of Amelie, who I couldn't find in Montmartre, she had somehow transferred herself to Torino.

This one was brightly lit, glass cases of cakes and thick sandwiches hugged the floor, then the bar followed round behind them, I blundered through asking for tea, was given a pot of water and a tray of teabags, i just took all the teabags unthinkingly and then considered the inadequate ratio of tea bags to water.

D’oh,

They were returned to the counter and I parked myself outside to start my diary.

When I went in to pay at the end I found out that it was the lady, on her own little island aside from the bar, nestled amid nik naks and sweets, who was the person i should give my money to. I chuckled a bit to myself for my lack of common sense, the staff had big smiles on, it was a happy place I left, it was a happy place I had entered.

Then to Piazza Castello, but via Dama art fair.

In the rain it suddenly struck me how incredibly sensible and kind all these covered footpaths were, graced by arches and gorgeous decorative embellishments, they sheltered the people of the city and provided ample space for outside seating, whatever the weather. Because, the people of Torino like to be outside even when they’re inside, lots of cafes have glass paneled structures adjacent to the main building, so you can always eat on the street.

I sidestepped the main street, a direct passage from dark to light, to go to Dama art fair, a smaller less commercial affair than Artissima, set inside a baroque palace. It announced itself calmly, no fanfare and the first room you entered was empty, aside from sound, then into a journey, maps stretched across the wall, details of the passage overhanging the main plots, drawings and observations, in monochrome.

Dama art fair was elegant, but not arrogant, against the gorgeously decadent furnishings and trimmings of the palaces rooms quiet art pieces, drawings and sculptures mainly, investigating and working with form, sat just ebbing and pulsating in the atmosphere of the surroundings they inhabited. On arrival upstairs, after dumbly staggering around a courtyard for about 15 mins with a wealthy and well dressed man and his companion, who were also very friendly.

He “Its the most secret art fair in the world”

Me “You have to work for your art”

On arrival you were greeted by ‘THE END’ : woven fabric around big wooden words hung from the ceiling between two large blue speakers.

“How do they know?” I wondered to myself - “How do they know that this is my ending, here in Torino?”

No sign of a beginning though, I guess I will find it somewhere else.

Then back out onto the street again and walking past high street shops to the Piazza Castello. On my straight line from dark to light.

I’m glad my bag is light, you don’t need much to travel.

It’s raining and overcast, but the Piazza Castello is opening up in front of me like a beacon of light, it’s not an angel that stands in its centre, which I expected to find, but a man, I feel like he's a logician, an academic, an emblem of reason and enquiry. I haven’t done my research because I like to work with impressions and weave my own kind of mysticism into what I find as I walk around, so I don’t know who he is.

The piazza is huge, on my left to horseback riders announce a big art gallery where curious visitors stand in bunches waiting to go inside, on my right are white fronted buildings, all majestic and grand, there is so much room to breath here. But where do I leave my publication? I circle the statue and then spy what looks like a plinth, a kind of chalice almost, I imagine it’s filled with the elixir of life but as I get closer I find it’s actually an ashtray, its covered though and as I take a turn about it I notice that the wise man in the centre of the square is pointed towards me.

It might be an ashtray but it’s the right place, I’m more confident this time as I prop my publication on its rim, take a photo and then walk away. I’m noticing though that I barely take in the surroundings I find when I’m doing this and then I get panicky and run away, I make a note to myself that after all this work I need to sit where I lay my gifts, I need to draw them and understand them, be able to describe them to myself for years to come. Quick photographs don’t give enough time to what I’m doing.

I then arch off and look for food, because I’m hungry. Lots of people seem to be gathering about a nearby pizza shop, like a chicken headed tourist I join the crowd, I’ve decided I’m allergic to lactose and wheat but hey, I’m on holiday, when you’re abroad your hysterias change.

I get myself a ‘Gran Torino’ and then I eat it there on the street, wrapped in paper, there’s a man sat down nearly opposite, the first homeless man I’ve seen here, we don’t interact but I pay him mind, I don’t want to make him invisible to suit my view. As I’m just stuffing the last of the delicious breaded cheese feast into my mouth I enter another cafe, pulled in by its ample outside seating and its corner position, I don’t want any more tea but they have freshly squeezed orange juice, yes please.

Whilst sat outside I am approached 3 times at my table, twice by Italians looking for somewhere to eat, who are very friendly when they find out I’m not Italian and go on their way cheerily. Once by a woman pushing a very young girl and braced little boy who very aggressively asks for money, her young son and her stand and shout at me for a few minutes whilst I refuse to give them anything then go off into the surrounding city, they shout in Italian and I think to myself that it’s probably not the best way to ask for charity, but maybe it works for them sometimes.

I’ve already experienced more interaction with people in a few short hours than I did in the 4 days I was here last, who am I this time? I’m not the same person that traipsed miserably up and down these streets 12 months ago.

Nowhere is this more profound than on my walk to my air bnb, the wet warm air and clouds hug incredible views down each street that I walk past, as I look to my left I can see the glorious green hills that surround the city, I can feel the magic that is rife here, and I notice the Italians going about their daily lives so full of energy and vitality. There’s a spring in my step every cm of the way that I walk.

My air bnb host is a superhost, I’d actually settled to stay alone but my trip was cancelled a little while before I went to Paris and her place was available, I’d taken it because I wouldn’t be alone, because even though my stay in Paris was not great I’d appreciated having someone there when I got to my accomodation and I’d wanted to repeat that more sensibly this time, with a private room rather than a sofa bed in common space.

The house is spotless, she is a compact and very handsome older woman, it feels safe, I feel like I’ve been here before. We can’t really communicate, she cant speak English and I can’t speak Italian, it’s frustrating but we manage somehow. I have my own private bathroom in this house and a little tidy bed with soft pillows that make me realise the one I have in my room at home is far to hard and unfriendly.

I have a nap, which I’ve promised myself since getting aboard the plane, I get into my pajamas and lie in bed for 3 hours, half awake. Whilst I’m spread out in my little bed I listen to the noise that surrounds me, the young family that live next door chatter and argue and laugh, the birdsong echoes outside my window, the sound of cars and the church bells fill my ears, they are resonant, like a chorus. I find my demons lurking inside me, but I just face them and then have a little stretch and turn over, we are a multitude of traumas and triumphs, not just one but several people and in order to rest we must be able to live with all these voices inside us, come to terms with them and pull them together to fight for us.

Because life isn't simple or easy all the time, no human is not inflicted at some point in their lives and it's very important when you face problems to be able to know who you are, so that you can love yourself whilst you receive the madness of the world.

I get up when it’s dark, thinking I’ll order a taxi to the AC Hotel, I shower and furnish my face with glitter, put on my blue velvet dress. I’m not excited, but it's what I must do and so I will go to the AC Hotel with my last publication stowed under my arm, to the garden where last time I had invested so much hope, though I know logically now that it's not the key to this trip, in some ways I’ve already lived what I came here for, but I must re walk these steps to release myself from the past and move forward.

I end up walking because buses and trams are to complicated and the taxi doesn’t come.

Before I get to the hotel I want to eat, the cafe I went to last time is closed but there is a gelato shop on the opposite side, with a hot pink table, totally empty. I’ve still not had any gelato in Italy and as I used to work in a gelato shop it's something I’d like to try.  

Its an old couple that own the shop, I get the most gelato I possibly can: fior di latte, amaretto, pistachio, in a great big cone, I’m treating myself because I’m not drinking and I need the energy. Though I worry it’ll make me puff up I eat it enthusiastically at the hot pink table whilst looking out at the rainy streets of Lingotto, considering the other desserts in a glass case by the window.

I’m quite a sight tonight, in blue velvet and glitter, my red tousled hair brushing my shoulders, I can tell its made an impression on the owners of the shop, who buzz about, welcome a customer that seems like a friend, go about their lives surrounded by all these delicious sweets.

Once I’m done I consider leaving my last publication there as well, but think better of it, sling it over my shoulder and continue to the AC Hotel.

Everyone’s so good looking once I get inside the hotel, a smorgasbord of chic sportswear and chiselled faces, I don’t look anyone in the eye whose not a member or staff so I manage to kid myself that people are who they are not to suit my fantasies. I go upstairs to an ‘installation room’ which is some led lights and a person fiddling on a laptop, the room is filled with people socialising, I go downstairs to try and see if I can get into the secret rooms, but the hostess, after flirting for about 15 minutes and ignoring me, gleefully tells me there are no rooms left, except lust at 21:40, its 20:00 ish, I don’t know what I would do whilst waiting for that room and actually of all the rooms lust is not whats in my heart right now, I do think about just taking it to prove a point but really I’m not petty enough to sit in this place bored for over an hour waiting to go upstairs.

Clearly the secret rooms will remain secret to me.

I don’t get a drink because I don’t drink (alcohol).

I go to the garden, there’s a lot of people gathered around the door and I push through them to find space and to consider where to leave my publication, it's still raining.

This garden is not the Garden of Eden tonight, perhaps it never was, now its a concrete courtyard with a tree and some grass in the dipped area, and rain streaked white seats on the raised platform I’m standing on. It's not the Garden of Eden, its a hotel courtyard. Where do I put my publication?

Just past the crowd, behind a shrubbery, there's a window sill thats large enough to perch on, which is sheltered from the rain, it's quite hidden but it seems like the place. I sit in the cove and have a cigarette then I get out my book and place it where I’ve been sitting, take a photo and scamper off. The last of the 3 now placed in Torino.

After this is is a kaleidoscope of moments: wandering around a shopping centre, which is called 8, going up escalators to unravel the triple 8 scrawled on a door before me and see where the seeds were sown. The venue and Aphex twin and all his lasers, scurrying from room to room through intolerably long hallways to watch a myriad of vocalists, dancing about in various places, realising that the toilets were never that bad, as long as you manage to effect a good squatting position. Finding out that question marks are not always doorways that open to fantasies being realised.

I stand and wait for a taxi for an hour behind women with artist badges around their necks.

I Get home after a 20 minute detour because my taxi was invaded by impatient people.

I Sleep.

In the morning I wake up in good time despite not getting my full 8 hours (or anywhere close to this) I wander out and make tea, I try to talk to my host but it’s very difficult, though I’ve noticed the traces of her in the flat, the handmade lemon body wash, the single malts, the honey. Eventually after starting a note to her I just use the paper in my hand to write what I am saying, my London accent is always a problem wherever I go but she understands written English. This works:

“It took me 90 minutes to get home last night.

12:30 > I’m going to shower, my aeroplane is at 3:30 (15:30)

So hopefully I have time

I like to have a lot of time

Biggest stress

Lots of people don’t understand my accent because I mumble”

Me and my host have a strange connection, she is another angel, she sees my fragility and the sadness that sits at the basin of my eyes, she offers me food and shelter, I can feel her heart wrapping around me and giving me warmth. I go to sit outside and wait for my taxi 20 minutes in advance, she comes and brings a sock I’ve left in the flat, as we embrace its tight and full of love, not like the hug of strangers, like family. Later she tells me via email that I am always welcome, that I am a friend now and friends don’t have to pay to stay with her.

I will go back to that house and those church bells, though I can’t say exactly when.

My ride home is flawless, as I sit on the mezzanine over looking TXN airport, a beautiful well proportioned space where you can look out at the snow capped mountains, I listen to a man playing drukqs by aphex twin on the piano below me and I let go of Turin, of last year and all the residual pain that I brought here when I came before.

There’s no need for me to go back to that festival again, there’s other places and new journeys I must embark on.

I enter Turin a mangled and not very good musician, I leave Torino a curious and dignified artist, that sings. I let art return to me and realise it never really left, I will always be an artist whatever I do.

That's just me.

85 publications to go….

[mostly-plants]

One month of eating vegan

Day 29: We headed out for brunch with a friend at Light Years Cafe which is becoming a fast favourite for us because of their delicious food, great coffee, beautiful space, and flexibility with vegan options. The menu has a few dishes already labelled as vegan, but the staff were very patient in checking with the kitchen when I asked about whether other things could be made vegan too. And Voila! I got the Pixel Avocado, minus the poached egg:

The fancy stuff on the right includes kale and cabbage chips, pickled radishes, roasted edamame, and edamame hummus. YUM! I really enjoyed this, and as avocado on toast goes, it’s definitely the tastiest and most interesting version I’ve ever had. I also tried their mango smoothie with Ribena pearls. The smoothie was very refreshing, but I couldn’t taste the Ribena flavour in the tapioca pearls. Still, credit to Light Years for making it vegan-accessible by leaving out the gelatine.

Day 30: Since I’d got into the habit of batch cooking and was working from home on Monday, I was able to forage from the fridge for meals. I had some leftover soup for lunch, and leftover lentil shepherd’s pie for dinner. Having ready-made food available has made it way easier for me to stick with a vegan diet this month without having to think “what can I eat?” at every meal. These last few days of the month went so quickly!

Day 31: The final day of my month-long challenge! I’d ordered a fruit and veggie box and a few pantry staples from CERES Fair Food for delivery today. This service has been great for the times when we’re both working a lot and have too many social things on the weekend to be able to fit in a trip to the local markets. I also like CERES Fair Food because it’s organic, supports local farmers, and provides employment for recently arrived refugees. The quality of produce is really good and the variety of receiving whatever’s in season means that you get to eat a range of different veggies, and be creative in your cooking.

My boyfriend had been craving fresh veggies, so on Tuesday night we made this noodle salad adapted from the first My Darling Lemon Thyme cookbook by Emma Galloway, a trained chef who creates vegetarian gluten-free recipes. Instead of rice noodles, we used zucchini noodles (just raw zuchhini put through a spiralizer - you can also use a peeler to create long strips, it just takes a little bit longer). I added some cubed cooked firm tofu and sriracha sauce, and it made a very satisfying dinner:

As I reached the end of my month of eating vegan I was trying to decide what to do once the month ended - whether I felt able to continue eating mostly vegan, or whether I felt like I needed to add anything back into my diet to maintain adequate nutrition, or to have some flexibility in terms of adapting to the different circumstances of daily life/social events etc. The main issues for me in weighing up the decision of what to do after this month ended were:

1. Is this a nutritionally balanced and healthy way to eat in the long-term? 2. Will eating mostly plants reduce my impact on the environment and animals?, and 3. Can I eat a plant-based diet and still do things that are important to me, like sharing food with loved ones?

1. Health After doing a bunch of research and reviewing dietary advice from credible sources such as dieticians, Australian government healthy eating guidelines, and in-depth recommendations from University nutrition departments based on the current nutrition research, I do think that it’s possible to eat a nutritionally balanced vegan diet by planning meals with care, and supplementing key vitamins like B12 that aren’t available in plant foods. Other nutrients that are important to pay attention to include Vitamin D (which can be deficient on any diet when people don’t get enough from sunlight), as well as iron, calcium, iodine and Omega 3 fatty acids.

I would definitely encourage anyone considering a plant-based diet to first do your research, and talk to your doctor and a university-qualified dietician to ensure that you aren’t missing any key nutrients. If you simply cut animal products out of your diet without understanding what foods to add in to replace the nutrients you need, you will be putting yourself at risk of nutrient deficiencies. That said, as I mentioned before, I was iron-deficient for years on an omnivorous diet - so planning your diet for optimum nutrition is important for anyone! Eating vegan has actually encouraged me to pay more attention to getting the nutrients I need, and this means I am ultimately eating a more healthy and varied diet than I was before.

2. The environment, and impact on animals

I had less questions about this aspect of eating a plant-based diet, because overall the evidence seems pretty clear and consistent that reducing consumption of animal products is better for the environment and for animals. Of course, within the range of plant foods produced, there are also differences in resource requirements and environmental impact depending on what exactly you eat. A 2015 study claimed that eating more plants could actually cause greater environmental impact if you analyse emissions per 1000 calories rather than per kilogram. The authors argued that since some plants (such as Broccoli) require more resources to produce 1000 calories of energy, some types of animal products may ultimately cause less impact when compared this way.  However, no-one is eating 3 kilos of broccoli at a time instead of 330 grams of pork. We eat broccoli for its nutrient density, not because it’s a great way to stock up on calories, so this is ultimately a pretty nonsensical comparison to make. Even if you do look at the comparisons for emissions per 1000 calories, the best plant protein sources such as lentils, nuts and dry beans produce anywhere between 10-20% of the amount of emissions caused by animal products. Again, reputable sources of information seem to stack up in favour of the “eat less animal products” argument, regardless of factors such as whether animals are pasture-raised.

3. Sharing food with loved ones

I am very lucky that my partner, family and friends are very supportive and open-minded. I know that the people in my life will make their best effort to offer vegan options where they can, but I’m sure there will also be times where this might be a bit more challenging. I’m sure there will also be times when I want to share different foods with loved ones, for example, a piece of birthday cake, or a dish that is part of a yearly family celebration. Everybody is different, but for me it makes sense to be pragmatic in considering my impacts on a micro/daily level, and doing the best I can in a realistic way.

Overall, I feel I can definitely continue making choices that minimise the demand for animal products. Where animal products already exist in my daily life (e.g. shoes, foods or vitamins I’ve already bought, or occasions where it’s not possible to have specifically vegan food options) then personally I feel more at peace with accepting and appreciating what is already there, rather than throwing things away or letting them go to waste.  For example, while doing my month of eating vegan I accidentally bought muesli bars that contained honey, so I will use these up and buy different products in the future.

The vegan challenge wrap-up

Q. What do you do to celebrate the end of a successful month of vegan eating on World Vegan Day? A. You buy yourself vegan roast duck rice paper rolls for lunch from Mr and Mrs Banh Mi. Nom! I will definitely be back to try their vegan BBQ pork Banh Mi.

This month has been really interesting, and I’m really glad I did it. Here are my highlights of eating vegan:

I had lots of fun trying lots of different foods and recipes and finding new favourites (miso glazed eggplant, chickpea shakshuka, apple pie pancakes, peanut butter & maple granola, the list goes on...)

Plants tend to have less calories but heaps of nutrition, so you can eat very well and get plenty of vitamins and minerals without excess energy.

I’m much better informed about my nutritional requirements and am consciously making more effort to eat a balanced diet.

My digestion is amazing, because fibre.

I feel like my energy has been more stable.

My skin started to clear up towards the end of the month.

My weight stayed exactly the same, but I’m pretty happy with that given the range of delicious food I’ve eaten over the last month (including quite a few baked goods and my new favourite snack - peanut butter granola!)

 When it came to lowlights, there were fewer:

Restaurants/cafes that don’t know how to vegan - e.g. there are little to no vegan options, or asking for things to be made vegan results in confusion and being served dry toast with a beaker of oil. #foodfails.

Accidentally overdoing the batch-cooking, and ending up with more quinoa and chard than any human could reasonably be expected to ingest.

Going from eating almost no legumes to eating heaps of legumes does result in being little bit gassy at first, but your body adjusts pretty quickly. The positive of this experience is that the fibre-rich plant foods are feeding your good gut bacteria, and they are helping support your health in lots of ways. So I’d say it’s all worth a bit of bloating in the end!

All of the above is just my own experience, and yours may be different, but for me this has been an overwhelmingly positive change. I was surprised that I didn’t really miss dairy or meat over the month. Still, I decided that rather than telling myself I had to continue eating 100% vegan from there, I was open to re-including minimal animal products in my diet if I felt like I needed to. This kept the pressure off so that I could be free to let things evolve rather than forcing change too quickly.

Since finishing the vegan eating challenge, I have eaten a small amount of dairy a couple of times (which made my skin break out quite noticeably), along with a mouthful of the scrambled eggs my partner ordered when we went out to breakfast. It’s been interesting, because I had thought I would either be a bit grossed out by these things after avoiding them for a month, or the opposite - that I might think “now I remember why people love eating this stuff!”

In fact, I just felt (in an extremely strayan way) “Yeah.. nah.” Like... I get it, but I just don’t really feel like I want it anymore. It’s kind of nice to feel a sense of calm acceptance about that, because decisions that I’ve made from a place of calm acceptance tend to work better for me in the long run than those that are all-or-nothing, or highly emotionally charged.

So, here’s my plan: KEEP CALM AND CARROT ON! :D

By this I mean I will continue eating mostly plant-based, supplement B12 to be on the safe side, and not freak out if I make mistakes or can’t manage to be 100% vegan 100% of the time. Being more conscious of my choices and eating a diet that is 95% plants is still a huge step forward from the probably (sub)Standard Australian Diet I was eating before, and will still reduce my negative impact on animals and the environment.

I will keep posting my vegan food adventures on Mostly Plants, and use it as a way to keep track of my favourite recipes, and share these with other people who would like to eat their vegetables (and enjoy them too!) On that note, I’ll finish with one of my recent favourite dishes - Vietnamese style noodle soup with tofu, inspired by The Viet Vegan’s recipe for Homemade Vegan Vietnamese Pho.

[adayofnathan-blog]

My First Phone Case for the Pixel & My First GIF

So when buying my Google Pixel, I needed to also buy a case to protect it and a screen protector so the screen won’t be scratched. So I went to Amazon only to find that cases for the Google Pixel were rare, and cases that actually looked good were even rarer. I wanted a case only to protect the back side of my phone from getting scratched, so a cheap phone case should do, so I bought a good looking one for only 7 dollars. I also bought my screen protector right before I bought the case. I bought the case and screen protector right after I ordered the Pixel. The estimated delivery dates for all three were on April the 20th, but what really happened was that I got the Pixel on the 18th, two days after I ordered it and then on Wednesday I got my screen protector. It wasn’t till today that I finally received my case. Sadly I already scratched the back of my Pixel. I arrived 5 days later than everything else even  when I bought everything in the same hour.

The packaging of the case looked very nice. Nothing like I was expecting, but the actual case was just meh. It’s just a piece of plastic with a design on the back painted on. It doesn’t even cover the bottom or top of the phone. Other than that, the design actually looks nice! I just wish the build quality was better, but that’s to be expected for a 7 dollar phone case.

This is my first gif. I made it from a video I took a few days back when Monying bought me a really nice cake from the Hello Kitty Cafe

Monying was manager pick of the week last week so they gave her this little stuffed anteater that she needs to take a picture with that is going to be included in the next meeting. Not having planned it through she did it last minute with me as camera guy using the great Google Pixel camera.

After two hours of coming up with ideas and taking pictures, we finally came to this here great pic.

Isn’t this the cutest picture in the world?

Anyways, after this was over I had to continue my chem studies until I have met my quota of 2 lectures per day. That took me until 3;00AM. I am sleepy Nathan now. Goodnight.

[goodlawdmaude]

Madrid, Spain

Day 1 (3/24)

After landing in Madrid, navigating our way to our AirBnB, and napping for two hours, Jarod and I were woken up around 1:30pm by a knock at the door. Our host had told us that a man named Ous would come to clean the apartment at 2pm. What she didn’t mention was that Ous--while incredibly nice--did not speak any English. In a mixture of Spanish and charades, we managed to agree that we would leave the apartment for an hour so that he could clean. 

In a daze, we piled on our layers (it’s cold in Madrid in March!!) and headed out. We walked through the Barrio (neighborhood) of La Lavapies and into La Latina, walking until we came to La Real Basílica de San Francisco el Grande. We sat in a plaza on the South side of the church, admiring the structure’s large, yellow dome and resting our very weary bones. From there, we wandered North past El Palacio Real de Madrid, through La Plaza de Oriente, and finally back through the center of Madrid to our apartment. 

Even though my body was dull with exhaustion, taxed heavily by the previous day/night, I was awestruck by the beautiful city streets and extravagant monuments. Everything was picturesque. There were balconies on every building with ferns growing in ornate pots and flower beds snuggled up against decorative railings. At crosswalks and through cafe windows, I saw people smoking cigarettes and sipping espressos; talking quickly, excitedly, rhythmically with wide eyes and exaggerated hand gestures. We were in a new place, and I was stoked to explore it!! 

By now, it was around 4:30pm, and we were hungry. We set off in search of a restaurant nearby and found two whose kitchens were closed. This was our first inconvenient encounter with ~siesta~. Even hungrier now, we found a market and bought tortellini and vegetables to cook back at the apartment. That night, we were in bed by 8:30. 

Day 2 (3/25)

Our first real (still surreal) morning in Madrid, we woke up at a reasonably early hour after an unreasonably excessive amount of sleep. We made eggs at home, then went to a nearby cafe recommended by our host, Maria. Again, it felt like there was culture everywhere. The people around us were dressed neatly in scarves and hats and boots (still freezing!), ordering pastries and warm drinks, dipping the former into the latter and eating them slowly and gracefully. Here, we each got two coffees and drank them quietly, soaking up the environment around us. I admit I was (I still am) a bit self conscious; I didn’t want to speak too much or too loudly in my ugly American accent and identify myself as an obnoxious outsider. 

At this cafe, we started to suspect that coffee in Spain is different than coffee in the US. In Spain, a coffee is served small in a cute little teacup on a saucer with a packet of sugar on the side. You can order a couple different variants--cafe solo (shot of espresso), cafe americano (still small), or cafe con leche (larger, but half milk)--but there is no order that will get you a giant mug of good old fashioned black coffee. (”Cafe negro” will get you the prompt: “Cafe Americano?” to which you will nod, confused and disappointed when you get a tiny teacup of slightly diluted espresso.) I digress. 

From the cafe, we headed to El Museo Del Prado, where we spent hours admiring--or more often puzzling over --thousands of paintings. My favorite was a small piece, entitled “The Painter’s Children,” which portrayed two young girls lounging on a futon, one wrapped in a pretty Japanese blanket, the other sprawled on a cushion. Jarod’s was a huge portrait of a Roman (??) leader dead in a bathtub--a suicide referenced as honorable in The Godfather. 

When we thought we might die of hunger, we tore ourselves from the Prado despite only seeing (maybe) half of the art on display. We wandered up the street and into a tapas restaurant. This was when we truly started embracing Spanish culture with a mid-day glass of wine and four sequential plates of tapas rich with meats, cheeses, and oil. This was also when I learned that a “Russian salad” does not contain lettuce, but lots of potatoes and mayonnaise. 

We went back to our apartment, took naps (Jarod) and studied the city (Lizzy). Still feeling full and generally out of sorts, we headed to the Santa Ana square//Barrio de Las Letras (the literary district, where the paving stones of the main street are engraved with some of the best known lines from 16th and 17th century Spanish literature). We got mixed drinks and a plate of tortillas and hummus at a hipster joint full of trendy young people, then proceeded to a lively gin bar called Carbones 13, where we each had a gin and tonic--the first that I have ever truly liked. 

We stopped at home briefly before rushing out to catch an authentic live flamenco performance at a bar on our corner, El Candela. We put our names down to reserve seats, then had half an hour to kill before the performance started. We spent that time in a lively, divey Bodega (wine bar) down the block. Our drinks were cheap (5€ for two) and came with a plate of potato chips. 

The performance itself was fabulous. There were only 4 people on stage and only one who danced. It was the first flamenco I’ve ever seen live, and I was struck by the drama of the production. The dancer’s heels banged loudly on the hollow stage floor, the tassels of her outfit swung wildly as she moved, and her face and hands were full of intense emotion. The crowd shouted “ole!” and the end of each piece--and sometimes during--to show their appreciation and admiration. (I didn’t know that was a real thing, but I loved it.)

After, we went home and stayed up a while longer, confused as to what time zone we were in. Suddenly, it seemed quite late--3 or 4am--but we were not exactly to be counted on to know the time. Little did we know, day lights savings had occurred that night; a phenomenon which would further confuse us in the morning. 

Day 3 (3/26)

We woke up around 10am, with 1pm lunch reservations at one of the oldest restaurants in the world quickly approaching. Jarod was a little hungover as we embarked towards Botín for our lunch date. He ordered shrimp, which came with the legs and heads still attached. Decapitating them was a task that hungover Jarod liked even less than spry Jarod would have. I ordered cod, which was smothered in a soup of delicious tomato sauce and was impractically humongous (I am notorious for clearing my plate and could only eat half). We drank half a pitcher of sangria--which may have been ambitious given the night before, but when on vacation...--and finished the meal up with a DIVINE chocolate mousse cake. The meal was tasty, but pricey (80€) and the restaurant itself was lovely, but packed with tourists (ourselves among them). It didn't turn out to be quite the cultural endeavor I had imagined, although we did see (what I imagine to be) some very traditional Spanish dishes, such as "baby squid, cooked in his own ink." Harsh.

After lunch, we went in search of Madrid's famous flea market: El Rastro. I had the driving interest in El Rastro, but had done a poor job of researching the actual location (I knew it was in La Latina from 10am-3pm... And not much else). In our search for the market, we stumbled upon a giant amphitheater type hole in the ground, covered in weeds and graffiti and tattooed young people. There were two guys playing live music, the speaker too weak to allow us to hear them from the entrance ramp on which we stood. It was a little silly, but I felt alive being there, like I was seeing an authentic, grimy part of modern life in Madrid.

With Jarod's guidance, we finally found El Rastro as it was closing down. We walked through the stalls of leathers, rugs, fans, and clothing, admiring everything but avoiding wanting anything (I could hardly order coffee for myself let alone haggle with a street vendor). At the end of the road, we found ourselves at an old tobacco factory, La Tabacaleria, that had long ago shut down and repurposed as an art gallery. Atlas Obscura had called this out as one of the hidden gems worth seeing in Madrid, and there was no entry fee, so we headed in.

The art exhibit was eerie--one piece was a TV hung from the rafters and entwined in a chain, broadcasting silent black and white footage--fitting for the cold and dark hallways of La Tabacaleria. There were lots of other videos in Spanish (which we didn't watch), but also some cool images of Mayan ruins (which interested me more).

When we finally got back home, we siesta'd--as is the Spanish way--and woke up some time later, ready to get our first real exercise in. We went to the Parque Del Buen Retiro, and ran around its perimeter, then walked through the interior, stopping to admire the Palacio De Velazquez, Palacio De Crystal, and a man-made lake--full of couples in paddle boats--that flanks the Monumento a Alfonso XII.

Our stomachs were still very confused so we elected to make dinner at home that evening, stopping by the market for rice, chicken, and vegetables. 

Day 4 (3/27)

By day 4, you would think we would have at least somewhat adjusted to Spanish time. And in a way we had: we were waking up late, taking naps in the afternoon, and staying up later. So on day 4, we slept in. When we finally tore ourselves from the cozy den of bed, it was around 11am. We still needed coffee, so we headed out towards La Plaza Mayor and stepped into a coffee shop along the way. 

From the Plaza, we headed out to revisit the west side of Madrid: the Royal Palace we had seen on day 1 in a daze, the old theater (Teatro Real) we had missed entirely, and the Egyptian temple (Templo De Debod) we hadn't known about. After walking for several hours, we were famished. We came home, pooled some leftovers to snack on, then exercised in our living room and cleaned up in preparation for our impending departure.

We headed out for our final dinner. We planned to go to Museo Chicote: an old restaurant and “Madrid landmark” frequented by famous people (Ernest Hemingway among them). However, it was closed (as are a lot of shops and restaurants on Monday in Madrid, apparently). We backtracked to the literary district and chose a restaurant called "La Vinoteca." Obviously. There, we feasted on shared plates of cheesy croquettes, flavorful meatballs, and crostini topped with mozzarella and tomato. On the way home, we stopped at a nearby Bodega, which was dark but inviting and buzzing with activity. And with that, our time in Madrid had come to an end. We packed and prepared for our jarringly early 530am wake-up the next day, after which we would take the metro to the airport and fly to Porto, Portugal.