#i also read some of the other comments and replies on this thread and absolutely love this discourse

[herrscherofmagic]

I already reblogged the first part of this thread but seeing this other reply and the talk of the crumbling foundations reminded me of some pretty relevant ideas that i would really like to add, if y'all don't mind!

Though mandatory disclaimer: Hoyo can write good stories but at the end of the day it's still a video game, and as a company they do have incentive to avoid over-complicating things too much. So I don't know how likely it is that they'll actually give us a deep dive into a possible collapse of the IPC... but it's still fun to theorize about so I'll go ahead anyways, lol

First, I wanna quote this part:

He wanted to speak to the higher up, but got Jade instead. And when he boasted about only needing 30 tanba ... to out-do the IPC... And Jade jumped onto that so fast. Giving him all that, and more...

This followed by the comment about cracked foundations got me wondering, if perhaps Jade might be aware that Aventurine has an anti-IPC ambition, and if she might actually want to play a role in that as well. Not subservient to him of course, but rather as a cooperating party.

The thing is that organizations are incredibly complicated things. If even a small group project of a handful of people can run into problems due to conflict of interest, what happens when you scale that up to hundreds, thousands, or millions of people? The way that these organizations maintain some semblance of order is usually through managing conflict of interest, and making sure that it is in peoples' best interests to work together.

But this manifests in different ways in different organizations based on culture, politics, legality, history, etc.

For example, the Soviet military had some pretty infamous problems with corruption, which carries on to this day, and Perun had a great video about this- it's a system where everyone is incentivized to lie, from the lowliest grunt to the highest generals of the military. As long as everyone keeps up the lie, then the system goes on working as normal... so long as the system isn't challenged by minor troubles such as the reality of waging war.

But in another organization, that might not be the case. In a nation with a more open and democratic process of accountability, it would be much harder to get away with blatant corruption. Sure you can still have corruption and conflict of interest, but if lies and cover-ups are punished accordingly, and the alternative route of being honest still pays enough to be worthwhile, then people will be more honest. This would've been an organization like Boeing in the past, but if that system of accountability begins to degrade, then you end up with "mistakes" like... the door of an airplane flying off mid-flight.

But in these organizations, these sorts of problems result from the interactions of countless individuals each with their own agenda.

In the Soviet military the lowliest grunt might want to provide for his family; the grunt's officer might want a raise, the officer's commander might want a promotion, the commander's general might want a spot on the cabinet, and the members of the cabinet don't want to get tossed out the window of an apartment building by current Soviet leader. So the grunt lies to the officer lies to the commander lies to the general lies to the Soviet leader, and you end up with countless lies all the way up to the top.

Likewise, if the maintenance workers in Boeing are struggling to make deadlines and KPIs, then they might have a personal incentive to cut corners. Skipping "not so important" steps in maintenance or review, for instance. In a functional system their supervisors would be incentivized to prevent these corners from being cut, but if the supervisors stand to gain from this process of cutting corners, then they might go along with it. And if the this continues up to the highest level of the command, then you end up with board members and shareholders who willingly turn a blind eye to dangerous practices for the sake of keeping the stock price going up, up, up ad infinitum.

To bring this back to the IPC... I have no doubt that the IPC could be in a similar spot. We've already seen how various low-level workers of the IPC are often in a tight squeeze, pressured to perform at any cost, often leading to rash decisions. Some folks like Topaz might be more level-headed and diplomatic, but if that sort of "success at any cost" mentality is pervasive throughout the IPC, then it might be reaching all the way to the very top.

That kind of system works as long as everyone keeps subscribing to that belief, but if that system is shaken by a core event (like a 2-year-long "3-day special military operation", or aviation disasters and safety mishaps), then the whole thing stands to collapse. The lowliest grunts are probably too stressed to care much about the big picture, since they're concerned with their immediate well-being and the well-being of the people they care about.

However, a higher-up like Jade would almost certainly be aware of these sorts of problems. And odds are, Jade wants to work in Jade's interests- not the IPC's interests. Her personal interests likely line up with the IPC's interests for now, but if Jade sees the writing on the wall and if the IPC is vulnerable in any way, she stands to gain from positioning herself in a way such that she minimizes personal damage and maximizes personal gain from any collapse.

Another thing about these big organizations is that they're not entirely monolithic entities. They're made up of many different sub-units, and these sub-units can split apart from one another and recombine in different ways.

For this I actually have a fictional example, from Star Wars lore: Admiral Thrawn. After the second Death Star got destroyed and the Emperor was killed, the Empire pretty much collapsed and the New Republic that took its place seized the initiative and took down Imperial remnants. But Admiral Thrawn was a powerful and respected figure that also had a much bigger brain than the egotistical Sith lord in charge of the Empire, so when the Empire collapsed he was capable of consolidating power amongst Imperial remnants. So when challenged by the New Republic, he had a strong industrial base and loyal followers to support him, and he was able to fight and negotiate with the New Republic on equal terms. The organization as a whole fell, but through careful planning and decisive action, Thrawn carved his own slice of the pie and kept order in his corner of the galaxy.

As for real-life corollaries, Perun yet again has a video on this aspect, this time featuring factionalism in a certain modern military. This is where I'm getting the idea of "incentives" from, if you don't want to watch the whole thing then the segment starting at the 4:30 timestamp is at least worth a watch for the explanation of incentives.

So again, back to the IPC: a collapse of the IPC doesn't mean that every IPC building spontaneously explodes and all the IPC uniforms in the galaxy just burn away into nothingness. Many of the assets of the IPC, both physical hardware like buildings and ships as well as intangible concepts like hierarchies and financial resources: those will remain. In a potential collapse scenario, it'd be a sort of chaotic free-for-all where various individuals at different levels of the power hierarchy move to consolidate their own power wherever they can.

Again, being a Stoneheart, Jade is likely aware of this. So while I seriously doubt Jade is gonna be a good Samaritan and stand in a picket line with a "F*** the IPC" sign, I do believe that she would be willing to act against the "IPC" if the IPC as a whole begins to collapse. She could instead remain dedicated to her "slice" of the IPC: the officers and employees that are loyal to her, partnered with her, or under her command.

This can also explain Jade's willingness to accept Kakavasha's wager: she might see him as an ambitious individual with a lot of potential that could be of use to her. Best-case scenario (for her) would be that he ends up largely subservient to her, and worst-case scenario (again, for Jade) would be that he becomes independent of her but could still work with her as a partner in the future. And so far it seems like the latter is the case.

So if there truly is instability in the IPC, if Aventurine truly has the potential to shake it from the top-down, and if Jade is fully aware of this... then why shouldn't she work with him? It depends on the details: if the math pencils out in Aventurine's favor, then Jade is incentivized to support Aventurine in his cause. But if the incentives remain such that Jade benefits the most from an intact and stable IPC, then she would be incentivized to stop any of Aventurine's schemes.

Knowing Mihoyo and how they write their characters (see: Arlecchino), I suspect it might be the former. I can see Jade being an absolute asshole and terrible person, but still doing just enough "good" by shaking up the IPC that we could end up allied with her to some extent.

I don't think this is a bad thing, just to be clear- I just think that it's not so likely that Jade is gonna be a pure evil antagonist that has no "redeeming quality". She might still be a terrible person, but if we apply a "the enemy of my enemy is my friend" logic here, then we might be able to consider Jade an "ally" in a conflict with the IPC, and if that's the case then that might be good enough for marketing her as a not-entirely-evil person.

And as for Topaz... I'm not so sure whether she'd be the kind of person to exploit a collapse of the IPC like Jade or Aventurine would. But knowing her genuine desire to do good (despite being part of a shitty megacorp), I can see Topaz somehow working alongside them anyways if they present her with the opportunity to follow her beliefs without having to remain firmly part of the existing IPC order.

If this actually does end up happening, it's gonna be really fascinating to see Topaz reacting to all of this, and to see what choices she makes when weighing her own security and prosperity against that of her co-workers, her partners, her underlings, and her own beliefs.

These Aventurine, Topaz and Jade comparisons are getting out of hand…

As much as I adore both of them, I think it’s very disingenuous to compare Aventurine and Topaz’s lore and be like ���but they are the same!!!! If people like Aventurine and dislike Topaz that’s just misogyny!!! and like… no?

Topaz’s whole thing is that she doesn’t know the extent of the IPC’s evil, and believes that what she’s doing is genuinely the right thing to do. Even if she never had a choice in joining the IPC, she (incorrectly) believes what they did to her and her planet is justified, logical and moral, and for those reasons she stands with them. Part of this is likely IPC brainwashing, as she was probably very young when she became an indentured servant to them, and someone living on a planet on the brink of destruction would likely view anyone who stepped up to save them as heroes (imo the IPC likely waited for the point of no return to establish contact so her people had no other choice to except).

However Topaz got best end of the proverbial stick, her planet and its people were deemed useful by the IPC, and didn’t fight back, even if in the end they were still exploited.

Unfortunately, we have seen through Boothill, Belabog and Aventurine what happens when that isn’t the case.

Boothill’s planet got bombed and people genocided because they had a resource useful to the IPC, but were unwilling to cooperate with them or hand over their home, so the IPC decided to eradicate them.

Belabog had a debt owed to the IPC that was ridiculously high and very unfair to expect them to pay back, and had Topaz not convinced the higher ups to give them some time (which she got demoted for), the IPC would have taken Belabog by force

That leaves us with Aventurine, whose story is in no way on the same level of bad as Topaz’s. Unlike her, he has witnessed and experienced firsthand the truly awful shit the IPC can do.

They took custody of Sigonia and promised to offer the Avgin aid in their fight against the Katacans, at the very least protect them from harm. (Sidenote, since the IPC held control over Sigonia, they should have stopped the fighting in the first place). However, they simply stood by and did nothing, resulting in the deaths of around 6,000 Avgin, with around 3,000 went missing (or injured, I don’t remember, either way it’s bad).

But wait! It gets worse! Aventurine when he was still known as Kakavasha referred to the IPC as “the men in black/the men in black suits”, and his first master says he bought Aventurine from “the men in black/the men in black suits”, likely mocking the way he referred to them. Therefore THE IPC TOOK PART AND LIKELY EVEN CREATED A FUCKING SLAVE TRADE IN SIGONIA

Look being made into an indentured servant isn’t fun, but idk personally I’d take that any day of the week OVER BEING ENSLAVED

That’s not even to mention how horrible of a reputation Sigonian’s have in the galaxy, one likely spread by/resulting from the IPC themselves, as at least on Aventurines planet they do not have the mobility to make a name for themselves. (Honestly it’s a mini theory of mine that Aventurines scam is what partly contributed to this reputation, and his status as a slave is something the IPC conveniently left out in their broadcast about it-)

But, you might be saying, didn’t Aventurine have a choice to join the masked fools and leave the IPC, isn’t he free now? And to that I say, it’s complicated.

Considering the amount of suicidal shit Aventurine has done while being part of the IPC, he clearly hasn’t been having a fun time as a member of one, so why does he stick around, especially with the Fools invite? Even if he was a slave, does that absolve him of the crimes he’s committing now? What could justify his actions?

Revenge, plan and simple.

This is going to delve into some spoiler territory for the end of the Penacony 2.2 quest, something which I didn’t feel like mentioning earlier because I’m sorry but everyone and their mother already knows Boothill’s lore. Now, let’s get into it.

Aventurine accepts Jades offer to join the IPC, and when he becomes a Stoneheart, the first thing he asks about is the fate of the Avgin, to which he then learns that besides him, they are all dead. You see, from birth Kakavasha was pushed onto a pedestal as the savior of the Avgin, but now that there are no more Avgin to save, his primary motivator in becoming a Stoneheart (beyond not being enslaved anymore) is gone.

So what does he do now?

Simple, try to kill the motherfuckers behind it.

That’s why he takes on such risky gambles still, and why he wagers and wants Diamond to promote him to rank p46. The higher Aventurine gets the closer he gets to his goal of taking down the IPC for good.

Which is why his meeting with Boothill is so meaningful. I think Boothill is going to “kidnap” him and together they are gonna take down the wicked bitch that is Oswaldo Schneider for his literal crimes against humanity.

Mark my words, an IPC downfall is going to happen, and I think Topaz, Aventurine, Boothill and Ratio are going to be at the forefront of it.

However, Topaz and Ratio (and by extension the rest of the galaxy) have to learn/realize the true horrors of the IPC (although I can sense Ratio doesn’t really like them, and he’s learned a lot from Aventurine, I doubt he knows the full extent of the situation or is in any way happy about it). Therefore? Topaz mental breakdown arc? Ratio lore? PLEASE??!? The IP3 compliment one another so well and god I can’t wait for that to come to fruition.

I really want to see a Topaz and Ratio centered story leading up to an IPC smackdown, and I think we are gonna learn a lot more about how shitty they are in the later half of 2.2 and in 2.3 when the interlude and Jades release arrive.

As for the aforementioned Jade, she’s gonna need a Aventurine squared amount of trauma or reasoning behind her actions to seem in any way sympathetic, because right now she just seems like an evil bitch (in a semi good way, I will always respect the commitment to the bit) who loves her job and would make Machiavelli weep over how hard her ends are trying to justify her means.

[ingravinoveritas]

I've been seeing posts about some replies from AL on Twitter tonight, and wanted to share some of my thoughts. For those who might've missed it, Anna replied to the below thread--not once, but twice--despite not being tagged or mentioned anywhere in it:

The fanart above is based on an Ineffable Husbands AU fic that is currently published on AO3 and has nothing to do with Michael other than using his face for the character, which makes AL randomly leaving those inane comments an obvious bid for attention, as she would've had to be stalking fan accounts to find that tweet. To make matters worse, however, someone in the comments on one of the replies sent her a link to the fanfic in question. Particularly egregious is the fact that the person who sent the link was not the author, and the author is now (quite understandably) pissed off and upset about this.

I know there have been multiple discussions about this in the past, but apparently it needs to be repeated: It is absolutely NOT acceptable to send fanfic to creators/creator-barely-adjacent people, especially without the author's knowledge or permission.

Yes, we know Michael enjoys GO fanfic. Yes, we know he has read and likely written GO fanfic and probably RPF. That still does not make it okay to send him fics--at all, for any reason, but most significantly because if anyone knows where/how to find fics if he wants to read them, it's Michael. Also worth noting is that Anna is not Michael. Anna could dislike or be entirely disgusted by GO fanfic or AUs...in which case she could have commented on the photo edit as a way of making fun of it, thereby potentially setting the creator up for ridicule and/or harassment.

It's also distressing to see people in the comments on Twitter encouraging this behavior/cheering AL on while seemingly not caring one jot about the actual creator's feelings (especially when I know that several of the comments are fan artists themselves). I had honestly thought fans knew better than that by now, but it seems not, and to say that all of this is infuriating is an understatement...

EDIT: It's been brought to my attention that it was the person who created the Professor Fell AU/made the photo edits who was upset at Anna's comments, not the fic author (who linked their own fic, rather than someone else's). My apologies for any confusion...

[writtenmisfits]

Private, Mutuals Only Multimuse RP Blog 21+, mature and triggering content present written and loved by jax

MUSE LIST HERE (bios forthcoming)

Strongest Muses: Jaskier - Geralt - Yennefer Astarion - Gale - Tryck Emmrich - Lucanis - Shan

memes - nsfw memes

the bottoms to my tops: @taleswritten

mains:

@fleshcarverfugitive, @partygcthered,

@dicethrow / @themortalitasi

ask if interested

Basic Info Under cut

Updated 1/4/2024

Mutuals only

Non-Exclusive

Don't be a dick

Mun does not equal muse.

Mun is a 40 year old elder millenial queer (they/them) with 0 tolerance for bigots and content police.

Personal/fandom blogs are welcome, I just ask you don't reblog my RP threads. Liking or commenting on them is okay. If you take anything from my headcanons, please just give me credit.

Call out and purity culture are not welcome here

Triggering content will be written, I will try to tag it the best I can

Triggering content will include things such as sex, drugs, violence, noncon, dubcon, incest, death, and mentions of CSA. This will be tagged with "tw" and the word, as with most other triggers. If something needs to be tagged for a specific trigger, let me know. I don't always remember who needs what tagged.

I do have Hellaverse muses on this blog. They are quieter but I know not everyone is comfortable with the content/creator. I will tag content and interactions from those muses with "hellaverse content."

Smut will not be under a read more unless the other writer prefers read mores, it will all be tagged nsfw or nsfw ish

SMUT IS NOT EXPECTED FOR INTERACTION. While I love writing the subject matter, I know not everyone does. I will never force it and do not expect it, especially if it's in your rules. Time skips and Fade-to-Blacks are absolutely fine if that is your comfort. I can be forgetful, though, so please remind me.

Smut will NOT HAPPEN WITH UNDERAGE MUSES. Most of my muses are in their 30s or older, some in their later 20s. I will not have any of them involved with muses under 18 unless is it a purely platonic and/or familial relationship.

I love, love, love shipping, but I never expect a ship. However, many of my muses are very flirty and easily fall in love, and I won't change that about them. I am all for unrequited love and unreciprocated feelings in interactions, just realize it is never to try and force a ship. That being said, if you want to ship, just let me know! I'm pretty open about any and all ships, crackships, cross-ships, toxic ships, familial, platonic life partners... all of the ships.

Muses are sporadic and subject to change

My length may vary but I typically find it hard to limit myself to less than 3-4 paragraphs. I never expect length 100% of the time, but I do appreciate effort in replies and find it easier to reply to at least a paragraph or two.

Activity can be selective, please be patient and realize I write with the flow of the muse

If you have issue with me or my mains, please just block and move on. I do not support drama, I do not support legitimately harmful people, and I do not support witch hunts for written content.

If you like my writing here, you might like my solo/fanfic work over at @writtenmisfics, where you'll also find my AO3 account once I get it set up.

[malsperanza]

Rereading Heaven Official's Blessing - spoilers here

I love rereading books, especially for the first time, when I see so many connections I missed on the first read. The first time you read a book, you're intent on discovering what happens next, worrying about the characters, and skipping past things you don't fully understand.

The first reread is all about looking at the structure, the patterns, the way things unfold, and learning more about character motivations. MXTX is a master at the meta, and she loves to seed innumerable hints and clues in her books, knowing they will not mean anything until the second reading. Plus, she lies like a rug and leaves out key info. This makes a first reread loads of fun.

Seven Seas edition, volume 1, p. 369:

At the end of the Banyue arc Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are finally alone in Puqi Shrine, and Xie Lian has let HC know that he knows who he is. Things are peaceful, and we finally get a sweet moment of flirting - which we have been hoping for through the whole volume. So is it any wonder that we completely miss the massive foreshadowing?

Xie Lian is unburdening some of his most private thoughts, memories of the past, and feelings about his history to this man he has just met. And HC is coming close to declaring why he is XL's devotee.

After a while, San Lang said quietly, "Something like saving the common people, it really doesn't matter how you do it. But, although brave, it's foolish." "Yeah," Xie Lian agreed. Hua Cheng continued, "Although foolish, it's brave." "..." "Xie Lian grinned. "Thanks." "You're welcome," Hua Cheng said. The two stared at the holey ceiling of Puqi Shrine in amiable silence, and Hua Cheng spoke up again after a while. "You know, Your Highness, we've only known each other for a few days. Is it all right for you to say so much to me?" "Well," Xie Lian huffed, "what's the problem? Whatever. Those who have known each other for decades can become strangers in a day. We met by chance, and we may part by chance. If we like each other, then we shall continue to meet; if we don't, then we shall part. At the end of the day, there's no banquet in the world that doesn't come to an end."

And now vol. 8, p. 118:

Xie Lian could no longer hold back the tears in his eyes, and they began to pour. As if he were hanging on to the last thread of his life, he pleaded, "You said ... you would never leave me." But Hua Cheng replied, "There is no banquet in this world that doesn't come to an end."

MXTX, you absolute fucking sadist.

The entirety of Xie Lian's little lighthearted comment, "Those who have known each other for decades can become strangers in a day. We met by chance, and we may part by chance" is the whole backstory of who HC is and is the absolutely most incorrect thing XL has ever said.

The space between vol. 1 and vol. 8 is so vast that there's no way to remember that HC is quoting XL when he is dying, which means that MXTX has built the necessity to reread into the book.

I'm also continuing to notice how often Hua Cheng is described as smiling, laughing, chuckling, snickering. If Xie Lian ever should happen to wonder whether he should laugh or cry, Hua Cheng has the answer.

[thefirstknife]

Some important stuff in regards to the harassment of developers came from Bungie today. They won a lawsuit against a guy who repeatedly harassed a community manager and his family (not fully confirmed in the official document, but people are fairly certain this is about A_dmg and his family). This is a twitter thread from the lawyer who went into some details about the situation. The court document is also available to read (featuring some of the horrific harassment tactics that were motivated by racism and also used racism as part of the harassment so be advised if you want to read).

This isn't just a win for the individual community manager and Bungie, but also has potential to set a bigger precedent in the future. It's basically the first time this has been done to this extent and some ruling in this case made it clear that companies can pursue this sort of legal action in the future if their employees are harassed and threatened. This is HUGE because the protection of employees in the gaming industry has been abysmal otherwise. This case will allow for the company to file a lawsuit on behalf of their employees in cases of harassment.

Before I add some of the more heinous stuff about this situation below, I want to say that the majority of reactions to this are positive. People are happy that this happened as it did and a lot of people are excited about potential big influence this will have in the future to combatting harassment of this type in the gaming industry.

Extra details and thoughts below (racism tw):

This started because the community manager highlighted a black content creator, Uhmayyze, who is himself a victim of harassment more often than not (usually of racist nature). He is most often harassed because he is unapologetically positive for which people have continuously sent him awful shit and comments. Because he enjoys the game and isn't jumping on the hate train. Just recently he commended Bungie for a ban wave and had hundreds of people hound him on twitter for his comment, including Gladd who started it by specifically replying to Uhmayyze and putting him on blast (warning for a lot of gross comments, including photoshopped screenshots of fake discord texts to make Uhmayyze look bigoted, nsfw images, r slur, suicide baiting and so on). This is important because the incident of real life harassment was fuelled over a community manager highlighting a content creator that is himself being harassed and despised online for the crime of... being positive. And you know, for being black. This situation isn't an isolated incident. The community, including other content creators, are absolutely horrible towards this one person that they feel, I guess, does not follow the content creator NPC questline of hating Bungie and Destiny.

So of course, at some point, someone from that crowd will feel confident and justified taking things further. How dare Bungie promote this person they hate. How dare they focus on a positive creator. They're clearly biased and don't want to listen to criticism, only to "toxic positivity" streamer. How dare a community manager highlight this creator. It's a personal slight to them, and "proof" that Bungie is bad and evil and "ignoring criticism." There's someone out there (and probably not the only one) that hates this creator and the game so much they were willing to harass and threaten a community manager and his family in real life.

The community manager was first harassed by phone with text messages and voice mails featuring racist bile, including apparently a voice mail telling him to "convince Bungie to create options in its game in which only persons of color would be killed." This is the worst part for me and super concerning in general, as well as showing the dedication of this person to racism, motivated by his hatred of a black creator (which also, by proxy, technically makes the streamer being harassed as well). Absolutely ghoulish behaviour.

This escalated to also harassing the CM's wife and resulted in doxing them; the harasser somehow found their address. Most of the reports on this will say that the asshole "sent them pizza" which doesn't truly capture how horrific the incident was. First, it's a random guy who has your address which is concerning enough given that he harasses you by phone already. Apparently the pizza was made to be "inedible" and the delivery was instructed to bang loudly on the door upon arrival to maximise discomfort. The order was also deliberately made to be paid on delivery to create as much pain for the victims as possible. The harasser also kept track of the delivery and then called the family again when it was done to tell them to "enjoy the pizza." The family immediately contacted Bungie who contacted the police and provided the family with protection. There's no telling how this would've escalated had they not been in the position to call Bungie and had Bungie not reacted to them asking for help. It's absolutely crucial here that Bungie is the type of a company willing to immediately assist in this situation.

Immediately following that, Bungie organised a long and expensive manhunt to identify the harasser and bring them court. That's where most of the expenses went; finding the culprit and protecting the employee and his family. This is the money Bungie earned back by this court decision because they could prove that the expenses were caused by a person harassing and threatening their employee.

This is a big win overall for the whole industry. It's Bungie setting a precedent on how a company should protect its employees. No matter what people think about Bungie or big corporations or whatever, this is how you can use a lot of money and power to make sure that your workers have rights to decency and safety. That's huge for the rights of workers and worker protections. I hope it becomes a standard and that any future harassment is prevented altogether or at least punished accordingly.

Naturally, the commentary on the news from a big part of the community is super positive. Unfortunately, there's also a part of the community that has a lot of really awful shit to say about this. The comments on twitter are littered with people who are using THIS specific moment to yell about Bungie being a greedy corporation, how the money they won should be used to "fix the servers" and "make more pvp maps" or how Bungie will greedily put this money "into Eververse" or "into Marathon." There's comments about how time was uselessly spent protecting an employee who should expect harassment anyway, instead of working on "fixing the game."

This is what I mean when I talk about how impossible it is in the current situation to have a meaningful discussion about any sort of criticism or feedback. There's thousands of comments from people who think that this specific instance shows how Bungie is greedy. This is what I mean when I say that none of these people actually understand what they're talking about. You can't make proper criticism when you can't separate game development with a company's legal effort to stop an escalating harassment campaign of an employee. The majority of gamers are simply not fit to offer any criticism or feedback. The idea that we all have something useful to say and that employees at Bungie are obliged to give us their time of the day is simply incorrect.

I genuinely 100% stand by the claim that the recent barrage of content creators promoting the idea that Bungie is "the greediest company in the world that's scamming players and increasing costs out of greed" as well as the idea that Bungie is "abandoning Destiny for Marathon, isn't working on the game anymore and is deliberately ruining it" is the reason for these comments existing. If a big streamer said that Bungie is getting too much money but also not doing anything "good" with it, then any money that Bungie receives (including compensation for expenses they took to protect an employee from active harm) is a result of greed. The nuance of any situation is lost; when you only learn the mantra of "company has money therefore company bad" you WILL end up causing harm for people and you will most definitely not be an advocate of workers rights. That's where we're at right now.

The dehumanisation of people who work at Bungie (and the harassment itself) is a consequence of this crap and other similar crap that's been thrown into the ether for the past year, disguised as "we're just offering feedback." People heard that Bungie is a "microtransaction hell" and that Bungie is only investing in Eververse and Marathon and they feel like this story reflects that; they feel like an employee being harassed is not deserving of proper condemnation and that this isn't important enough and that Bungie is a greedy corpo anyway so who cares about that. They do not understand how companies work, how games are made, the state of the industry as a whole (or the world as a whole), the treatment of employees or workers' rights, and you cannot meaningfully critique a company's business practices without understanding that. And they don't because they think that legal expenses used to protect victims, finding a culprit and bringing their ass to court is money that is being used for game development and that Bungie receiving this money should result in... new pvp maps or "fixed servers."

And there's even seemingly good commentary where people recognise how this is good, but they initiate the comment with "As much as I hate Bungie and Destiny and I think they're awful and greedy and destroying gaming as a whole..." : that's not the time and place. You don't have to excuse your support of a big win for potential new employee protection policies just because those policies are done by a company. Of course it is. Companies are the only ones capable of pursuing this sort of legal action. It's one good way a big company can put their power and money into a good place to actually help people and bring forth positive change. And like, you don't have to tell us how much you despise Bungie before you're "allowed" to admit that this is good news. Sometimes companies do good stuff. It's literally not that complicated.

I hope that this situation will help other employees demand the same protection, that other companies will follow suit and that this will also make potential other harassers rethink whether or not they will engage in this or similar type of behaviour. In the meantime, know that the community is largely positive about this, but that there are still absolutely detestable human beings who should feel ashamed of their reaction to this. They shouldn't feel welcome here. And there's still people doing this to the devs and I hope Bungie takes their asses to court too.

[dramarising-replacement]

Free art threads.

Made a couple of these in the past, and I'm actually considering just.. not doing them on this site anymore? I actually think I'd be better off doing free art for people on Toyhou.se instead.

Cue the rant.

-------

So I'm sure some of y'all are familiar with the "Creative Corner" in the forums, yeah? You can share random art you've made, ask people how much they'd pay for your art, that sort of thing. Then, you got the free art threads. They can be titled things like "Drawing ur dragons :33" and "bored, draw humans. bye." and you'll also see the same couple users posting in those threads, but I'm not here to name-drop lol.

The ones who I have a problem with are the ones who don't read anything. Like, at all. You could spend thirty minutes crafting a decent looking thread, filled with information (but not TOO much, just enough to answer most people's questions) and highlight the "rules" part of your thread that has specific steps to follow for free art. Wanna know what the majority of the commentors on your thread are gonna do?

"[Insert dragon image] Pls draw :)" or "[Link to a page with over 60+ dragons] choose whatever one you want.]" and that's about it. There won't be any mention of any steps you wanted them to follow, (The steps are usually very simple, too. As in, let the artist know the bare minimum idea of what you want. I'm talking about expressions here. That's literally all they'd have to do to get some scrumptious free art.) and that feels kinda invalidating, y'know?

I'm not asking the commentors to describe a whole scene for me, I'm just asking them to give me ONE LITTLE IDEA (again, an expression or maybe if they want a bust) and I'll do the rest for them, free of charge. The art that they'd be getting isn't some random disaster of a sketch, nono, it's fully-colored and shaded. It also doesn't look like something that a 5 year old drew. (No shade to people who draw like that, I was stuck like that for years.) Bro, just do a MINIMAL amount of reading and I'll draw your dragon that has an absurd amount of apparel to tje point where it hurts my eyes.

..It doesn't just stop there, either. I've also seen these people never reply to artists who have given them an absolute masterpiece of a drawing, for free. Bro. You serious? I get that some people are inactive, which I'm not bothered by. But the ones who aren't? ...Ehh, I just think you could at least thank the artist before returning to the void with your free art.

The moral of the story is; Do the bare minimum and read what matters in a post, and thank the artists who draw your dragons for free. Especially the ones who could've easily charged you 1kg+ for the work they've done.

If you're socially awkward, then cool. I get that. If you can't afford to pay artists with fictional pixel money, then go ahead and visit the free art threads. I'm not trying to gate-keep them, I literally make these threads. I just don't enjoy having people put zero effort in their requests and then never acknowledge the fact that I drew their dragon for them. Just my thoughts, everyone views things differently and that's okay!

---

Btw, I mentioned Toyhou.se because I've posted on both before, and while there are SOME similarities in the users' behavior, there's also some notable differences, too.

Common flight rising free art thread comment: [doesnt read text and adds dragon image] thanks if you draw.

Common Toyhou.se free art thread comment: [links a character, goes into a VERY in-depth explanation about how said character acts, very passionate too. Usually reads rules, too.] Thanks if you draw. (gotta stay consistent lol)

Obviously there are some differences in the sites which affect how the users act, I get that. One's a literal dragon collecting game and the other one's focused on writing and drawing characters, it's expected that one would read more than the other.

...But again, free art. Not paid, but free. Someone takes time out of their day to draw your dragon. Just give them a simple "thanks" and go on your merry way. That's all you gotta do. Lets them know their effort was appreciated, and shows that you're a nice person. Win-win.

Please man, just read. Did I mention that these threads usually have a maximum of 100 words? I don't usually type this much. But damn, this just irritated me so much.

Well, that's the end of this rant. Like I said, a few people are obviously going to disagree with some/maybe everything I've said, and that's life. This was a disorganized rant, and that's all it's going to be.

[sangcreole]

HOW TO INTERACT WITH TUMBLR RP BLOGS

Hello friends! I've gotten quite a few non-rp blog followers on this account— thank you, and I'm flattered that you love Louis enough to follow me here! However!!! This is a ROLEPLAY blog, and as such, there is a slightly different etiquette code than regular tumblr fandom blogs.

Normally I just block folks who don't read my rules, but I figured I'd make this comprehensive post for archival reasons anyway. So! What are the do's and don'ts of tumblr RP etiquette?

DO: read our rules! Every rp blog has them! Mine are linked in my pinned post! You can also find them here! Rules are different for every single rp blog, so it's important to read them to understand what kind of interactions they're comfortable with

DON'T: REBLOG OUR WRITING!!!!! DO NOT REBLOG FROM RP BLOGS PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST, THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE.

The first reason this is considered rude is because roleplay writing is NOT for you. is it cool to read an rp blog's threads and cheer from the sidelines? absolutely! I LOVE getting little messages from people following along and commenting on what makes them excited! But rp is a contained writing format between two people, so taking someone else's writing and putting it on your blog is just....not good! it's not like reblogging fanfic! it feels more like stealing!

The second reason this is considered rude is because rp blogs on tumblr use the notes system to track our writing threads and other activity. when people reblog from us, it fucks up the note count (deadass some of y'all almost made me delete this fucking account when one of my amc salt posts got out and i had like 200 notes to wade through overnight. please don't do it).

There may be certain exceptions to this rule— for example, on my rules page, I state that I'm okay with folks reblogging my non-writing related content (aesthetic photos, musings, etc.). But for the most part...reblogs are kinda off-limits

DO: send in questions from headcanon/character building prompts! Basically, any question set that's meant to be answered out of character, referring to Louis rather than me writing as Louis. Here are some examples of what I mean: x, x, x

DON'T: send in in-character sentence starters meant for other rp blogs! Whats a sentence starter? Here are some examples! (x, x, x) Basically, any prompt that is meant to be sent in FROM ANOTHER RP BLOG, to be replied to in-character on my part. If you send me an anonymous message with a line of dialogue from a sentence starter, I can't do anything with that, because I don't know who my writing partner is supposed to be. These are for established character blogs only.

DO: send in random questions or comments! I do love interacting with y'all and I don't want you to be intimidated by all the rules I just laid out! If you have a question for Louis, please feel free to ask him and I'll reply in-character! If you have a question you want me to answer ooc, feel free to ask it! As long as you're respectful, it's all good!

[moa-broke-me]

#reblog#pjo tv crit#im mostly replying to tags here nobody mind me

#re: prev tags - there's a bunch of stuff from TSATS that's also blatantly from tumblr posts lmao#the subway scene is literally almost word for word a tumblr post iirc#in the comments of that one college humor comic i think

#i distinctly remember a thread on it and reading TSATS and going ''thats word-for-word a tumblr post. i know it. i've read that post.''#which makes a lot of sense when you consider how just. absolutely out of place that scene feels with the rest of the book#like the book is a mess but that scene in particular is just. oh they literally just ripped it straight from tumblr. thats why its weird.

#photokinesis Will has obviously been popular fanon since 2015 and same with plague Will#even some TOA stuff is blatantly old fanon or tumblr posts. *especially* solangelo stuff#im surprised they didnt go full 2015 fanon and give him a lasso/whip made of light instead of the weird laser beam thing

#and Piper's cameo in TSATS is just not even subtly a checklist of Rick directly responding to criticism he's gotten about her character#plus that whole scene of Nico basically being outed a second time/''coming out'' to CHB that has the random list of other queer campers#but it's LITERALLY a list. just throwing names out there. like cool. zero effort. and im pretty sure also specifically common fanon ones

#anyways everybody place your bets when is somebody gonna throw an apple to their significant other/crush#fun fact - yknow the skeleton pegasus merch from the Tower of Nero book tour? yeah thats 100% ripped from fanon#thats been a fanon thing for ages before ToN. in fact i have a nearly identical design on redbubble that was up for years prior#and i know for a fact that shirt design was one of the first results for ''chb shirt'' on redbubble for ages#im not saying they ripped it off from me cause i know im not the first person to think of that but it is suspicious

#the weirdest part of it all to me is Rick is clearly like 5-10 years behind on fanon. so every time a fanon/fandom ref is included#it just feels dated and awkward. like yeah nobody has referenced that in ages. but now it's canon but fanon isn't supposed to be canon#it's often super incongruent. such as Will being retconned into TTC for TSATS because?????? fanon. fanon is why.#like he physically cannot be at chb in TTC without ruining an entire chain of stuff. there is no logical way he can exist there.#which is why he doesn't in canon! he's introduced in TLO! he can exist no earlier than BoTL!

#fanon doesnt have to follow canon logic. but that just makes it REALLY bad when it's blatantly canonized with no regard for consistency#which is why i think TSATS feels so much like a 2015 fanfic. cause it's just blatantly all 2015 fanon that isnt congruent with canon at all#anyways sorry for the tag rant thank you for coming to my tedtalk

These were too good to stay in the tags

Fun fact, I recognize most semi major plot point changes in the Percy Jackson series from Tumblr posts 

The Calling Kronos grandpa thing was a Tumblr post way way way way before the show is even talked about releasing

I don’t know why but it feels weird knowing that everyone is praising Rick for something he didn’t do

[warriorsparked]

Slam dunks my URL in here like it’s basketball hoop

SEND ME YOUR URL AND I’LL TELL YOU

My Opinion on;

Character in general: I love Treppy. He is an evil bastard. I think it's a shame there wasn't more of him in the comics, but what we did see, I very much liked. I like a good, evil villain, altho mod always does like to remind me that he was just doing his job, so... I can't blame him entirely. Or so Treppy thinks. XD

(@seacrestseacon as well since you asked for that URL as well). I love Seacrest, he's hilarious and energetic, and honestly, I just feel like he's ADHD in a nutshell lol. I haven't quite been able to wrap my head around all of the other crew members yet, except Blacktip, but I am slowly learning! And I do love getting to interact with a whole crew, which also makes me appreciate the time you've put into this crew and your OC's, and you've developed a whole world around them. I really like that dedication. They feel like real characters that could easily be placed in the TF universe at any given point.

How they play them: Spectacularly! Absolutely love their portrayal of Trepan. This is one of those situations where it's a very underappreciated character in a series, one of those side characters that we don't really get to know a whole lot about, but with the use of our imaginations and lovely headcanons, you get to flesh these side characters out to your hearts content, and that is exactly what the mod does. And they do a fantastic job at it. I've never had so much joy with the character, let alone seen Trepan so fleshed out. A+

(Your squaddies are OCs, so I can't comment on how you write them because they're your OC's and you write them how you want them to be, and they're great the way they are).

The Mun: Is a riot. I'm convinced they're a gremlin that lurks in the back of my mind some days XD Honestly, though, the mod is lovely and always a joy to chat with. I can't say how much I laugh when I read your replies, just the way you write is so expressive and humerous, and I love it so much. Those little inner monologues? The breaking the third wall thing? Every thread is a delight and amuses me, and it's in turn made me able to expand my own writing techniques with those ways as well. It's something so unique in RP and it's definitely something I'll never forget.

Do I:

RP with them: Yep! Across multiple blogs. Want to RP with them: Absolutely.

What is my;

Overall Opinion: Just a joy to write with. Like I said, it's always amusing getting to read your replies and getting to chat OOC. It's also really nice to have someone else in my own time zone as well lol, because that's a royal pain in the arse knowing everyone else is asleep while we're just getting home from work or something. So I definitely appreciate that. But yes, if you're not following or interacting with this mod, you should be, because they're a riot to have on the dash and the replies always have me smirking behind my screen XD

[xsadcorebenji]

had a good day,

attended some events and people appreciated my energy and presence (always from my perspective, but i like to believe i actually can read people well)

was worried i was going to miss my daily haiku, everything was just running later than i hoped

but feel accomplished i finally organized my comics collection to sell off.

just one less thing to worry about.

when i finally got home from everything today, i realized i missed all my medication today.

found it strange that,

i didn’t even notice and my only thought on realization was

i just need to start again tomorrow,

was grateful at my ability to function regardless,

didn’t feel much different;

decided to skip exercise today because was sick the past few days either way

just was happy that i didn’t break down as i observe others when they miss a day of medication, the anxiety people express.

especially considering my dosage.

thought a lot about how people have been wanting me medicated to fit into the confines of their point of view (all those years)

just focused a lot on the situation around me and I don’t know I think I developed some good thinking patterns like,

today i was at a store I usually frequent and one of the people I consider myself acquainted with, didn’t greet me; and one point I said as they were passing “how’s it going?”

they didn’t reply and a past version of me would’ve interpreted this interaction as “are they mad at me?” “did i do something wrong?”

but my brain just filled in the blanks, things like

“well they were doing stuff, so they were probably preoccupied and didn’t hear me,” or “they’re busy,” and also “it’s been awhile since you two spoke at length so probably feel just as awkward about it as you do”

there were multiple instances of this today,

and also various traps that i would’ve been a lot more reactive too in the past, like my YouTube algorithms pointed me to these stupid “alpha male” videos and i had to click on this one specifically because the person was using Kratos from God of War as like his avatar i suppose, either way i knew it was going to be the dumbest thing ever

absolutely worse than I expected and a bunch of nimrods in the comments section talking about “high value male” yada yada

and just as i was about to extend so much energy arguing with strangers on a YouTube comments thread, decided not to, because there is no one more far gone than the radicalized MRA.

(although if they even had to process the thought of positing them in the same group as i posit “radfems” then possibly they’d develop the self-awareness to not just think in self-indulgent logical traps, but my bar for the concept that they have the cognizant ability to hold any awareness is so painfully minuscule)

(like the video already started off with the dumbest premise, couldn’t even pass this part, it started with ‘men and women simply cannot be friends’ talking about “testosterone” and “sexual tension” and i couldn’t imagine living like that,

like what, you’re saying if you went to get a soda from a store and the person at the register, if they’re a woman and you’re a man, there’s de facto sexual tension there? doesn’t even make any fucking sense. do you not socialize with women coworkers? or is the sexual tension THAT strong in every situation. Fucking Christ alive. What a miserable way to live,

like goddamn i’m happy i live with the thought patterns that say, “cool I can buy a snickers from this fucking store,” “wow o wow, golly gee, i bought me a snickers, can’t wait to eat this Fucking snickers” god i’m very much referencing this moment in time i lived with a PUA, and we were watching DCAU movies, i think that Batman Animatrix shit, and we shared a Domino’s Pizza i ordered, didn’t know what anchovies tasted like so that was the night i tried for the first time, and like we were gonna watch another movie so gluttonous me had a hankering for a half pint of ice cream, shit i did in college days, so we were gonna go to Safeway at like 10:30 at night for fucking ice cream, dude goes on about something about a “little black book,” asked about it, because painfully curious at all times.

dude explains Pick Up artist bullshit, never delved in that so kept asking and learning and i remember saying “you really think you’re going to meet anyone at a Safeway at 10:30? and they’d want to talk to anyone?” dude replies “you never know”

never know what? people who go shopping at night probably want to be left the fuck alone? kinda obvious tbh.

digressing but point is i didn’t post shit in a YouTube comment thread

not worth my energy).

bought some booster packs and was disappointed with pulls but my brain automatically tried to highlight the bright spots in the disappointments.

and not to say everything was peachy keen just saying

for someone who didn’t take their meds today, everything was fine,

and there’s always a lingering sadness, i just lived a pretty hard life. and there’s so many thoughts where i think passively “i wish i weren’t alive to feel this pain”

but just passing thoughts and nothing i anchored to my harbor, just ships passing along the shore in the end

generally happy and proud about how i was able to live and do things on a day i forgot to take my meds.

[weebsinstash]

God so actually to try and get my mind off of things, another idea I had for Rich Yandere Douchebag who maybe for convenience i will call Elliot from now on? I like to go back and forth with setting and tone between him secretly being nobility or him just being a rich but powerful guy, and I think Reader would be so absolutely fucked if he was a tech-based CEO. You think he's in his office trading stocks or whatever the fuck it is he does but he's just watching security cameras of you. There are times when he's not even at home and he's in his corporate office and he can just, pull out his phone and access that security feed, making sure his little bunny is safe and sound

I can only imagine if uh, if Reader had issues similar to mine, where you spend way too much time on your phone, not just playing games or anything, but willingly torturing yourself by, say, exposing yourself to the constant negative news cycle, engaging with politics talk in the comments section, arguing with trolls and stressing yourself out. You're beefing with some conservative in a comments section and suddenly??? The app crashes??? And won't open again??? Which is weird because Elliot gave you this phone so it should work perfectly? And the app refuses to open until later that day and by that time you've calmed down and was able to move on to something else

I can only IMAGINE if Reader began getting harassed or pressured into a conversation or stayed in a conversation that was extremely uncomfortable (you know like uh what I did the other day 💀) and Elliot is just watching from his end FREAKING OUT like WHAT ARE YOU DOING STOP or if this complete stranger began to be sexual with you and you won't stand your ground. He'll shut off your phone remotely if he has to. It's to protect you. He loves you but you're a little silly and let your emotions get too caught up in your head sometimes. He's helping you because he knows what's best for you, obviously :)

I can only imagine it coming to a head when he begins to not only disapprove of your constantly online habits, but also becoming dangerously possessive of you and jealous of anyone you interacted with. Oh, so he's your BOYFRIEND but you're posting things to your "secret" blog that he doesn't even know about? Can you EVEN IMAGINE if he goes to spy on you and your newest blog post is a thread with your followers about how you're wondering if you should break up with him and every single reply is basically going "holy fuck do you really not see all these red flags, throw the whole man away"

You're just minding your business at his home, and you're so upset you're shaking as you furiously type out a reply to someone who said the most ignorant pathetic shit you've ever read, and Elliot suddenly barges in, storms up to you, and snatches your phone right out of your hand as he begins to scold you. Why are you doing this to yourself? These people and their problems don't matter! Why are you watching videos about problems in other countries that don't affect you? Who cares what that politician said about 'women shouldn't have rights'? Who cares if an online personality you like is being bullied for a stupid reason? Why do you care about anything that doesn't directly involve you or him?

And like he vaguely has a point but he says it in such a douchebag "other people are insignificant, you Aren't Like Them, the things you care about are stupid" kind of way that you just. He can see the instant offense in your expression the moment he starts speaking, the anger, and you just blow up on him, just listing things off about him, pointing out that of course he doesn't care, he barely has empathy for other people at all, he thinks he's so much better than everyone because of his success and money, he probably funds some of the politicians who are literally ruining people's lives because they then pass laws that benefit him personally and financially, and as if he isn't infuriated by your rebellion enough, you hit him with: "I don't even want to be with you anymore, you fucking stuck-up asshole!"

Elliot instantly smashes your phone into the marble floor, expression like stone as you begin to try and back away from him, eyes flitting to the door, like you're about to try and run away from him. And he's having none of it, blocking the path out into the hallway, trapping you as you begin to shake and cry because oh my god is he going to kill you???

And he takes your reaction and your tears and your fear as just a sign that you're just too stressed out, that these vermin are ruining you. His poor lovely partner is just having a rough time and it's got you so constantly on edge that you're even acting out on him, and he KNOWS you love him! you're just finding too many bad influences, too many bad actors trying to manipulate you, he's afraid. Well that all stops now. You already live in his house, so it isn't hard at all for him to keep you there, is it? Can't have you running off to get into any more trouble, to buy another phone, to hang out with those awful plebian "friends" of yours who are telling you to leave him.

He's going to get you all better, he promises. You just need some time to unplug and be with him. Only him. Constantly, only with him. After all, he should be spending lots of time with his future spouse, after all 🥰 all you need to do is spend some time with him and you'll forget all about everything else...

[eldritchmochi]

SO i have definitely experienced people talking about my fic in spaces i couldnt see; i exploded into bnf status in my current fandom and for a looong while just kept to myself, as i always had in fandom spaces. i still mostly lurk but i was convinced by friends made in this fandom to join some of the larger discords for the ship i primarily write for and man there was a LOT of discussion of my fic. even now, people will occasionally mention they read xyz and like four people will @ me and several others will @ the person excited about my fic to point them to the dedicated threads

from what ive seen, the reason people talk about fic "behind authors backs" in private or semi private spaces, like discord servers, is definitely yeah a lot of folks just dont know HOW to interact with fic and fic authors, but they want the community and joy of *talking* about the things theyre enjoying reading. its a x2 combo search for community where a lot of fic authors (myself included) struggle to engage with their readers, and fic readers struggle to engage with authors, and we get a feedback loop of awkward unsure-ness

up until eeeeh two years ago id say, i kinda didnt respond to comments i got on fics. i am a supremely shy person (somehow.... idk man) so ive always been a hit and run fandom person, posting fics before i disappear (until next time). ive started replying to comments comparatively recently, as well as posting additional info on like, writing process and why i made xyz technical decision etc etc, AND i joined these semi private fandom spaces, where i mostly lurk but when i have spoons, i am there taking part in convo about my blorbos, both in my fics specifically and in broader convo. by changing the ways ive engaged with the people who read my fic, the ways people engage with *me* have changed, and i now have fairly active community around my writing despite me being on a mega hiatus due to health. ive made a number of friends because of this community ive built. its wild

similarly, i have a friend who has basically always replied to comments on their fics, leading to their comment section having a massive amount of threads full of convos about their fic, and they also have a private online space with a lot of their readers turned friends. just like. a *ton* of nerds all about the same fictional assholes causing chaos in one particular discord server no one else knows exists, way more than me because they built that community around their writing from the get go. people within their community arent all that shy about commenting, and their comment section seems to invite more people to comment than average because they ARE so engaged with their readers

op is super right about how, if we the authors want to *hear* people be exited about our fics, we have to change the way we engage with the readers of our fics. there's always gonna be people who talk about fics privately, for whatever reason, and thats okay, but you cant build a community by bitching about what you don't have. the numbers my fics do in my current fandom are absolutely staggering (and honestly freak me out a little, its a lotta pressure lol), but i get a lot of the engagement i want by just..... being open to it. i try to make it clear that i want to talk shop with my readers, that im just as excited about my writing as they are, and i celebrate the engagement i get by sharing recs and fanart, and replying to comments, and chatting with people in dms or discord, and i try to celebrate the quiet readers who kudos every one of my fics in the span of a week, and the ones who comment simply "extra kudos ♥️" to show theyve reread it, and the folks who *dont* say anything because i know, from my own reading and from a handful of comments ive gotten myself, that there are *so many people* my writing is very important to that i will never know, and that is really really cool

Listen, this isn't something I'm first-hand familiar with - the existence of these "discord channels to talk about fanfic privately" is still a Tumblr urban legend to me, and I'm half convinced it's just someone making up a guy to be mad at again - but assuming they're a real thing, I can think of plenty of reasons why people would do so other than "they hate authors." A few ideas:

Authors say kudos aren't enough, or are an insult, etc.

People say that adding your own commentary underneath someone else's art/fic post is rude.

Some people say that just using an emoji as a comment is rude.

Some people say that just saying "I like this" is rude or damning with faint praise.

Some people say that "I can't wait for the next update" is putting undue pressure on an author.

Some people say that anything less than a full paragraph of feedback is not enough.

Some people say that feedback on Tumblr isn't good enough, that it has to be on AO3.

Some people say that if you don't reblog someone on Tumblr, you're not being supportive enough, even if you do leave a comment on AO3.

Almost everyone agrees that leaving critical feedback is a bad idea, so if people want to talk about why a story doesn't work for them along with the ways it did, a private server conversation would seem logical.

Those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. The point is, without meaning to, we've created this very confusing world in which we tell readers all the ways NOT to interact with authors, and they're all contradictory and end up making it sound like readers are expected to put nearly as much effort into feedback as authors do into writing. And that's just not realistic or sustainable.

IDK. I saw one of these posts about the still mythical reader discord servers today, and clicked on the notes and saw people complaining not about that, but about using emojis as feedback or giving two-word feedback, and I went "gee, if anyone wants an example of why readers might retreat behind closed doors, here you go."

I saw some posts last week about the conundrum of community in the fanfic world, and whether it's reasonable to expect community to be created in AO3 comments, and I still mean to reblog them when I find them in my likes again, because they were very good. I think the question of "how do we build sustainable communities" is a very good one to explore, and one that gets harder the more fragmented social media becomes. But on the author side, we're never going to solve it until we admit that (the larger) we are giving readers impossible standards to live up to, and that trying to shame them into feedback is only making it worse.

[erodasfishtacos]

could u please do like a harry x youtuber/influencer!reader and like lots of fluff🥺

Hi bubbie! Here you go :)))

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language

Harry was panicking. His mum and sister were going to be here in less than two hours and he’s burnt the eggplant parmigiana he had worked tediously on. 

He grabbed what he had left in his fridge - ground beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and a little bit of bacon. 

It was the type of foods he usually strayed away from so sometimes when his shopper would bring this stuff home - he’d avoid it and admittedly sometimes it would go bad sitting in the fridge.

The singer pulls up YouTube onto his phone - hoping something would come up when he typed in the ingredients on the search bar.

He clicks on the first video by cookingwithnofucks. A chuckle at the name as an advertisement plays.

A cute, bubbly girl appears on screen in a beautiful modern kitchen. She has a shirt on that says ‘fuck the patriarchy and eat pizza’. A high ponytail and minimal makeup.

“Okay - today we’re making a cheeseburger casserole,” the girl chirps, “It’s a heart attack in a dish but it’s so fucking good.”

Harry finds himself smiling as he crinkles his nose - it sounds absolutely disgusting but he’s intrigued more by the girl on the screen.

“Shit, I forgot to introduce myself. Hiii, if you’re new - I’m Y/N and I do cooking shit. Subscribe to my channel and all that jazz,” she titters while cutting open her beef package.

Harry follows along step-by-step, shaking his head as she doesn’t describe the instructions nearly well enough and is generally all over the place.

It’s a fucking cooking channel and at one point the meat starts burning. She just laughs and says, “s’just a little crispy!” 

The casserole turns out looking even better than Y/N’s to be honest. It’s done in just the right amount of time for him to shower before his family arrives.

He makes sure to subscribe to her channel - eyebrows raising when he sees that she has 16 million subscribers.

Harry wanted to spend longer, looking at her social media but there was a fixed time so he locked his phone and went to get ready.

**

Anne - always the sweetheart just tells Harry that the casserole is delicious even as a bit of grease runs down her fork from the fatty meats.

Gemma wasn’t as kind, grimacing at the casserole and remarking, “You truly are turning into an American, huh?”

**

Laying in bed that night, Harry swipes back onto YouTube. Going back to the page he just subscribed to - under a pseudonym. He clicks on another video.

“Uh, okay. So I’m cooking...fuck, it’s called unicorn bark. It looks like a magical animal puke but it looks delicious so we’re going to try it.”

Harry realizes he’s been watching this girl cook for nearly an hour. Different videos from desserts to dinners.

She curses like a sailor, fucks up almost every recipe, and makes a mess everywhere. But she’s smiling and talkative which makes him quite memorized by her.

**

“I hate editing,” Y/N groans, letting her head fall dramatically against the desktop. Her best friend and dog looked at her oddly.

“I keep saying you need to hire someone, you stubborn bitch,” Laney retorts, clicking through her Instagram feed.

“Fuck off,” she tells her friend with no real heat. The video was almost fully edited - how to make spicy as fuck jalapeño poppers.

There is a calm silence for a while until Laney gasps, “Holy shit.”

“What is it?” Y/N asks, not really caring as she clicks her mouse to trim a segment.

“Harry fucking Styles just followed you on Instagram and Twitter!” Laney shouts, her dog - Rufus popping his head up in confusion.

Y/N looks at her friend to see if she’s really serious and sees no signs of deception. “Oh my god,” Y/N replies. She loved Harry Styles in One Direction and as a solo artist - a fangirl if you will.

Y/N was a well-known influencer and has run in the circles of many celebrities. She’s even met Liam Payne but she’s never been able to bump into Harry.

Her alerts tell her it to be true, she swallows as she looks back up at Laney, “He dm’ed me.”

“Open it! What did he say?” She squeals, squeezing herself on the chair next to her, peering over her shoulder at the phone.

Y/N is a bit nervous, trying not to have a mini aneurysm as she opens the message thread.

HarryStyles: Hello. Just wanted to let you know that your cheeseburger casserole recipe saved my ass last night. Cheers x

“He’s totally coming onto you,” Her friend states instantly, bouncing excitedly - she also had a bit of a crush on the singer.

It takes the two of them a minute to cool their shit before Y/N manages a reply.

Y/N/LN: Well I guess it’s only fair. Your songs have made a few of my nights much better. I’m a bit of a slut for Fine Line.

Harry laughs behind his screen at the cheeky reply he gets back. He’s usually never this forward - especially on social media where he likes to fly under the radar.

HarryStyles: Well if you fancy my music that much, I totally love for you to come to a show. I’m performing in New York City in two weeks.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Y/N sputters to her friend, eyes wide at the invite to a concert she already had tickets to.

Y/N/LN: I’m not going to lie, I already have tickets to the show. However, I don’t have any backstage passes to meet the man of the hour. Do you know someone who can hook me up?

It does wonders for Harry’s narcissism to know that she already had tickets for his concert. Was he really going to do this? He hasn’t met up with some like this since his One Direction days.

He had to remind himself - she may just be friendly and take this as a totally casual interaction. Which would be normal, Harry really shouldn’t be so infatuated with someone he’s watched cook on social media.

HarryStyles: I think I can arrange that. Shoot me your number? I’ll have them sent digitally to you with instructions on how to get backstage.

Y/N is a bit dumbfounded at how fast they agreed to meet up. A harmless backstage tour - he could just be a fan of hers and totally not interested, right?

**

Over the next few weeks, they never really stop texting. Harry sends her pictures of the recipes he copies off her channel - that usually always look better than the original. He sends her clips of him goofing around during tour rehearsal. FaceTimes her when he’s finally home for the night.  

She sends him videos of her watching Harry Styles Best Moment Part Five. A few photos she snaps throughout the city of him on billboards and buildings, in Times Square. YN facetimes him when she’s frustrated with filming or watched a sad movie.

It didn’t make sense to either of them how seamlessly they’d clicked - especially without meeting. They were a perfect balance for each other. Harry - laidback, organized, level-headed. Y/N - eccentric, all over the place, adventurous. 

Jeff had told him that he’s been gaining media attention from his social media interactions with Y/N. They like each other’s photos, begin following each other’s friends, and comment goofy things on their posts.

“Listen, I have a great idea,” Y/N begins - which Harry learned is never good. “You should film a video with me sometime.”

Y/N knew she was going out on a limb and instantly regretted the questions she’d been building the courage to ask for days when it’s quiet on his end. There’s static for a moment and Y/N needs to fill the silence.

“It was - I was just, uh, I know you’re probably too busy. I was -“ She stutters, embarrassment flooding her.

Harry cuts her off, “I’d love to.”

“Yo-you would?” She asks timidly. Was she really going to have Harry Styles in her apartment? If so, should she take down her poster?

He laughs sweetly, “Why do you sound so surprised? I can’t wait to come to New York, love.”

Y/N giggles, “Not the fact that you’re performing in front of a sold out crowd at MSG? I don’t think seeing me will top that.”

“I’ve been looking forward to meetin’ you in person since I came across your channel. You so lovely,” Harry replies, his voice a little softer but more serious.

“I’m nervous,” Y/N admits, picking at a thread in her jeans.

“Me too,” Harry murmurs, despite not wanting to admit it - he wanted her to know this was new territory for both of them. He didn’t want her to think that this was something that he did often. But a little too prideful to admit it’s the first time he’s ever done something quite like this.

“What if you don’t like me?” Y/N whispers, she...well she didn’t compare to the models he’s been seen with before. She’s regretfully fell into the rabbit hole of looking up his past flings and relationships.

Harry barks out a disbelieving laugh, “You can’t be serious, darling. I’ve been gone for you since I saw you burn that ground beef.”

**

Harry was having a bad day - scratch that. An awful one. He tried to go get coffee at eight in the morning and got bombarded by fans, he left the shop without even ordering. They followed him back to his car and it took him fifteen minutes to pull out.

His favorite Mickey Mouse Gucci suitcase he was bringing along on tour had busted. The zipper unraveling and the trim falling off as a result. It was a one-of-a-kind.

Then he’d been stuck on a Skype meeting about tour merchandise with a group of business partners for the last three hours - all he wanted was a fucking nap.

When Y/N’s contact vibrated across his screen, he’s itching to answer but declines as he needs to give these people his attention.

When she calls again, Harry feels a prickle of annoyance. It’s not even at her - to be quite honest. It’s just the shitty day and everything’s piling up.

He always got like this before he kicked off a tour - stress level maxed out and his ability to handle minor incidents nearly shot.

I’m busy

Okay! Sorry, just have a super exciting surprise for you, bub! 

I really do not feeling like talking. I’d rather be left alone.

Oh, alright. Hope everything’s okay! Do you still want to facetime later?

Harry leaves her on read because he doesn’t want to slip up and take out his frustration on her. He’d been known to do that and he didn’t want her to think he was anything but besotted with her.

**

Y/N feels a little hesitant as she begins the uploading process to her channel. The red loading bar told her it’d be twenty-minutes before it’s going to be posted to her 16 million subscribers - one of them being Harry himself. 

Twenty-minutes for her to back out and cancel the upload. She starts having doubts about it when Harry never replies to her text which is unlike him. 

She takes Rufus out to avoid staring at the loading screen with unnecessary anxiety and uneasiness.

**

Harry is just getting home from a business dinner with the touring company’s management team. The tension and anxiety from today piling up on his shoulders and he just wants to call Y/N and crash in bed. 

He tosses his keys in the little bowl in the entry and kicks off his dingy white vans to the side. His phone dings with an alert from Gemma.

You two are the literal cutest ever. It’s quite gross.

Harry slides onto a stool in his kitchen, confused by the text message before she’s sending the link to him.

Fine Line Inspired Cupcakes!

Harry isn’t quite sure why his heart starts pounding furiously in his chest. A sinking feeling in his stomach when he realizes that this was probably the surprise she was excited about.

He clicks on the thumbnail.

“Hiiii, it’s Y/N. Okay, well today we are going to bake some Fine Line inspired cupcakes. And if you haven’t listened to the album - get your ass out from rock you’re living under and stream it on Spotify!”

She has her hair down in long, waves and a loose cropped shirt that says TPWK in rainbow embroidery.

Harrys mouth is dry and he can’t take his fucking eyes away from the screen. 

“Soo, I was thinking the first batch would be cherry flavored? ‘Cause he has a song titled ‘Cherry’. Let’s start there. First - I need to find my measuring cups.”

In true Y/N fashion, she scours her kitchen - cussing and yanking stuff out of her neatly organized cabinets before huffing and storming off to the side.

She comes back into view, a little frazzled but smiling when she holds up the ring of plastic measuring spoons, visible bite marks notched into the material.

“My asshole of a dog had a little snack,” Y/N shows the camera before shrugging, “Let’s get this shit started. Okay, you’re going to need one cup of sugar - no wait, two? I can’t read my fucking handwriting.”

Harry’s absolutely enamored by this scatter-brained, giggly girl who manages to produce cute blue and pink cupcakes that very vaguely resembled his album cover. His heart felt a million times too big for his chest.

He was enraptured for the entirety of the thirty minute video without taking his eyes away once.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt this way since his last relationship which was over a year ago at this point.

It’s not even a thought as he’s requesting a FaceTime with Y/N. 

She answers after a few rings. She has a green face mask painted on her nose, chin, and forehead with gold eye masks under each eye. She is so fucking ridiculous it’s not even funny. 

What is even more ridiculous is how gone Harry is realizing he is for her. She was quirky, unfiltered, carefree. If he was honest - he hadn’t met a girl like that in a very long time - especially a well-known influencer.

“Hi! How was your day, grumpy?” Y/N asks brightly, making a goofy face as the mask begins to tighten and crack on her skin. Not holding the earlier conversation against him and deciding to just move forward. She understood how stressful it can be.

“M’sorry. I was a bit grumpy,” He admits, “I loved your new video, darling. Did you make those just f’me?”

He can tell she’d be blushing if her face wasn’t covered, a bit bashful as she mutters, “You already know I did it for you.”

“You’re too sweet to me, only six days until we meet,” Harry replies, voice taking on a slow, lazy drawl. 

“Six days,” Y/N repeats, eyes crinkling as she smiles with excitement.

**

“Is this outfit too much?” Y/N panics. Even though there’s literally nothing she can do about it - they’re already walking towards the backstage entrance of the massive arena. It’s still about two hours until the show starts but Harry requested her to come earlier.

Laney sighs, “For the millionth time, you look fucking sexy and Harry’s going to want to rail you right when he sees you.”

Y/N shoves her lightly with a faux annoyance as they meet up with a burly man who’s blocking the entrance to the backstage hallway and rooms.

She gives him their names and pulls up the passes on her phone before he’s nodding with any expression and letting them pass.

They’re not quite sure where to go from here so they begin to wander down the long hallway toward what looks to be the main area that people are milling about.

Y/N is nearly on the ground when someone rounds the corner without looking and walks right into her. Both of them let out huffs of air as they collide and attempt to stabilize themselves.

But there are large hands grasping her arms and holding her steady. In typical Y/N fashion she’s already cursing, “fuckin like a brick wall, look out next time.”

Then she’s looking up to Harry staring back down at her with an amused expression. He doesn’t let go of her and instead tugs her against his bare chest. He’s warm and a bit sweaty - like he’d just worked out. He was only in a pair of thin, running shorts, nike tennis shoes, and a little clip holding his hair off of his face.

Y/N can’t help but wrap her arms around his waist, returning the embrace and amazed by how right it feels to be in his arms. Her face tucks right against his collarbone and it’s like they’d known each other for years.

Pictures and videos don’t do this man justice. He’s gorgeous - sharp edges and dark inked skin. Tall and muscular but dimples that are carved in his cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you, m’Harry,” Harry rumbles, removing one hand from Y/N’s shoulder to reach out his hand to her friend.

Laney shakes his hand before asking, “Laney. I’ll leave you two lovebirds be. Where’s the food?”

Harry chuckles against Y/N’s wavy hair, “Down the hall to the left.”

Laney’s trailing off without another glance, she was very food motivated despite her skinny frame. Also not wanting to intrude of the very personal first moments of their meeting.

The popstar pulls back to look down at the girl he’s fallen for in mere weeks. She’s as beautiful as he thought she'd be - if not more. He can’t help himself, “Would it be too forward to kiss you?”

Y/N smiles widely, running a hand along his jawline, “I’ve wanted you to kiss me since you stayed up on FaceTime with me until two in the morning as I cried after watching The Notebook - despite me seeing it a million times.”

Harry ducks forward to press his lips softly to her, large hands come to cup the side of her face as they connect. He’s so gentle as he moves his mouth against hers. In true Y/N fashion, she’s bold and has no hesitation slipping her tongue into his mouth.

He’s so fucking in love with her. It doesn’t make much sense - it’s definitely not logical but he’s realizing that’s okay.

“Oii, get a room!” Someone shouts from down the hallway teasingly.

Harry flips them the middle finger and pulls back, pink lips swollen and puffy, dimples on full display, “Let me take you out to dinner after the show, darling.”

“You going to wine and dine me, Styles?” Y/N giggles, unable to contain the pleasant warmness he’s spreading through her body. 

“Mmm, have t’make sure you’ll want to keep me,” Harry murmurs happily against her lips once again, pressing kiss after kiss to her to make sure she’s real, “Definitely want to keep you.”

Y/N bites teasingly at his bottom lip, hand planted on the soft but firm skin of his stomach, “You’re never getting rid of me, hope you know that.”

“Was hoping you’d say that, now let me introduce you to my band.”

                                  -- ---- ---- -- 1 year later - -- --- --- --

“Hi bitches! Today is a super special day. We have the one, the only Harry Styles filming with us. I know that’s not really that special since he’s on here all the time with me. But we’re celebrating our one year anniversary!” Y/N smiles, bumping hips with Harry who stands dutifully next to her. 

Anyone viewing can see the absolute heart-eyes and adoration he has for the girl standing next to him. He’s still as lovestruck and gone for her as he was the first time they met. Harry’s fans were thrilled - for the first time in years, he’d opened up again.

They weren’t very public on social media beside’s tagging each other in memes and posting the occasional picture. Y/N was constantly uploading cooking videos from wherever in the world she was with Harry on his tour, she’d also begin making vlogs about different foods she’s been experiencing.

---

“Okay, so here in Peru - they’re known to have this really fucking spicy beef with noddles. So obviously, I’m going to make Harry try it first,” Y/N laughs as she props the camera up on the side of the table on a napkin holder.

Harry - who has a concert in a few hours - frowns at the steaming dish in front of him, “Darling, I don’t want to try it first. It’s going to burn my mouth. Not gonna be able to sing.”

“You’re sucha baby sometimes,” Y/N rolls her eyes, slurping up the noodles with her fork while making a silly face at her boyfriend. She pulls back, straight-faced, “It’s not hot at all. Tastes amazing, though.”

Harry takes that as an initiative to shovel a spoonful into his mouth. It only takes half a moment until his taste buds erupt in fiery flames from the spices, “You bloody little brat, y’tricked me! It’s so fuckin’ hot!”

Y/N smiles widely, laughing much too loudly in the restaurant when Harry chugs the glass of water next to the plate while glaring at his love. “I’m sorry, s’just to easy with you, lovie,” She replies, leaning over the table to press a kiss to his lips. 

He’s a sucker for her and kisses her right back despite his mouth being an inferno. His heart was on fire for her and that burned much more intensely.

---

“No, love. The instructions say baking soda, not baking powder. They’re not the same thing,” Harry sighs, attempting to read her scribbled, sloppy handwriting. She’d already spilled milk on half of the paper.

“S’interchangeable, right?” Y/N hums, cracking an egg into the bowl and Harry automatically knows to look to fish out the eggshells that’d she’d let slip in because she sucks at cracking eggs but always wants to do it.

Harry reaches over her, grabbing the vanilla extract and a teaspoon, “It’s not, baby. Lemme do this real quick.”

“Will you make me a grilled cheese after this?” She asks, nuzzling into his side and wrapping her arms around his waist as he finishes adding the wet ingredients to their bowl. Harry stopped questioning her thought process a long time ago.

Harry swipes his finger into the mixture of icing off to the side and rubs it right onto her nose, cackling at her pout and squeaking when she pinches at the fleshy skin of his hips. She in turn dips her finger into the sugary cream and pops it right into her mouth.

Harry eyes darken, watching her lips purse as she sucks off the icing. It was a dirty move on Y/N’s part and she knows it. It has her boyfriend dragging an icing-covered thumb along her collarbone before leaning down to slowly lick up the sugary trail with his tongue.

When Y/N slides her fingers into his hair and lets out a pretty moan, Harry’s standing back up, trailing over to the tripod and saying into the camera, “We’ll be back after a little commercial break,” and is then turning off the record button.

It takes little to no time for Harry to have Y/N’s bum on the countertop, mouth on her neck, and hand in-between her thighs.

And when they finally posted a very edited final cut of the video - well there may be a couple of fans who notice the how flushed Y/N is halfway through and a lovely purple mark on Harry’s neck that wasn’t there in the beginning of the video.

[alluringjae]

queen of hearts - sjn

summary: for the first time, one of your star students hasn’t been fetched right after class. but when she finally does, you weren’t expecting such a fine man to be her father.

pairing: johnny x female reader

word count: 5.5k

genre: fluff, romance, comedy | ceo and single dad!johnny + ballerina!reader + modern day!au

warnings: mentions of an absent parent, johnny being an overthinker, sexual innuendos (ten saying dilf hehe), slight explicit language, technical terms of ballet, a mini reference to mean girls

author’s note: sooo i came in touch with my former dance life, which led me to write this. there are links for the variations i used; their names are underlined when they’re mentioned. i am going to get technical with ballet terms here (even when my ballet knowledge decreased), so to any dancers reading, i really did my best, so please don’t come for me or do correct me for any mistakes.

although one character and her dance background, plus the name of the setting, are real, everything else about it is still a work of fiction.

i miss dancing, no cap.

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Ballet student and teacher by day, a soloist of the Korean National Ballet at night.

This was your daily routine, and it wasn’t the typical 8-5. But it’s debatable whether or not it was worse, because you’re always going overtime. That’s the thing when you’re an overachiever. Nonetheless, you loved what you do. It’s the lifestyle you gradually built since your preschool days.

Mornings on the weekdays were mostly vacant since all the kids were still in school. You’d start at 10 am for a warm-up class for the company. Before you delved into teaching and assisting, you’d train right after your lunch break. Partnering class, en pointe class, 1-on-1 sessions with choreographers, self-practice, then the company night class, that’s the organization of your week.

Now adding the teacher title, you mostly handled kindergartners to 5th graders in the academy aspect of the company. Your first teaching class would start at 1 pm. It’s when the younger students who finished their morning classes zoom into your assigned dance studio. One class would last an hour and a half, then you have a 30-minute break in between another class with the older kids. Their lesson repertoire was more strenuous due to the added across-the-floor lessons and jumps. Water was always your best friend, water refilling stations located everywhere in the company building.

You wouldn’t say you’re a strict teacher, but you weren’t shy to correct anyone from wherever you stood. You’d lightly align their arms or back properly so your students were working on the correct body parts. Compared to the other teachers, a lot of students enjoyed your kind yet frank approaches. Your former students, who’ve already gone to the higher levels, missed your lively presence and wished repeatedly that they want you back as their teacher.

“Teacher (Y/N), I miss you so much! Teacher Ten is so intense. I get the jitters especially when we’re en pointe on the floor.”

“Teacher (Y/N), Teacher Sicheng and Teacher Seulgi scare the heck out of me during partnering class. Especially when I tried to lift my partner, I keep losing focus because of Teacher Sicheng’s never-ending comments!”

Not to be sadistic, but you’d simply laugh at their minuscule complaints. Even if they’re struggling in the academy, those comments were directed to fix their techniques if they wanted to breakthrough.

“Kids, you’re going to be fine! They wouldn’t say or do those things just because they wanted to. They’re here to push you to the next level, like how I used to do with you. It’s a cut-throat industry after all.”

This was always your reply, bittersweet and truthful. Not everyone makes it, unfortunately, so if you’re really striving, you’d do whatever it takes. Throughout your career, you’re relatively impressed with how far you’ve come.

Trainee at 17, Corps de Ballet at 18, Demi-Soloist at 21, and Soloist at 23.

You’ve been a soloist for 4 years. The final stage, which was to become a principal dancer, is your running goal. Becoming a soloist was praiseworthy enough because you’ve seen so many give up in the Corps, but claiming a spot as a principal dancer has been the ultimate dream. Since you’ve watched Swan Lake for the first time at 4 years old with your parents, that’s where you found a passion for dancing and the stage. Here you are years later, practicing numerous variations daily, performing in opera houses, and mentoring all these gifted kids.

Your last class with elementary kids, which began around 5 pm, reached its end once all the students curtsied in front of you and scurried to their mothers or their nannies. The remaining plan on your agenda today was the company class at 7:30 pm, which exceeds the average hour and a half. It’s worse during show season. There have been times everyone went beyond midnight to polish every scene from head to toe.

Currently, there’s no upcoming show for the public, though the annual summer recital for the students was around the corner. Selected members of the company were chosen to perform individually in it, which was both exciting and intense. It’s also because it’s an evaluation on whether you’d get promoted in status or staying put. You’ve partaken in 3 recitals in the past, two of which elevated you from the corps and demi-soloist ranks. The recent one, however, didn’t change your soloist ranking.

It was a major first in your career in ballet, and after finding out the result of the latter, it emotionally pained you. Recalling how much soul you put into that piece, the rejection from your artistic director clenched your heart. Though in time, you moved on from it and viewed it as a stepping stone. Also, Sicheng and Ten personally stormed your apartment to pull yourself together with wine and pizza after going on a short leave.

Since you were trainees, Sicheng and Ten were your best friends in and outside the company. Working daily to occasional barhopping, that’s your youth summed up. It wasn’t because you didn’t like the girls you’ve worked with (though a lot of them were fake and bitchy), but these two were frank and humorous as hell. Together, you’d help each other with your goals rather than be competitive. Over time, Ten leveled up to a principal dancer for 2 years running while you and Sicheng were still soloists. The way you’d watch Ten take all the big roles, that’s where you want to be one day.

Back in your last teaching class, the entire dance room was vacant. Since it’s mainly used for ballet classes, you’d either run through anything you’ve practiced from the company classes and polish it or warm up a little bit more.

Except for today, this was the only free time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes because your current ones were dead. Dead in a sense that the hard shell turned soft, which won’t be able to support you when you’re up on your toes. You’re not taking any risks of minor injuries especially when you’re in the current lineup of company members performing for this upcoming recital again. You have to prove to everyone that you deserve a position as a principal dancer.

As your legs sprawled in a half middle split, your sewing equipment laid in front of you like you’re about to perform surgery, a tiny girl stood by the ajar studio doors. In her neat bun and holding on to her small duffel bag, you’re convinced everyone has gone home already since it’s quite late.

You may have your priorities as a company member, but she was still your student.

“Minji!” You shouted her name, speedily waving your hand. You’re not one to have favorites, though you couldn’t help wonder how extraordinary she was. She’s always taking charge in demonstrating the lessons to everyone and improving every session in the 3 years she’s joined the academy. “Come in! Come in!”

At age 7, she’s gotten taller through the years, above the average from how you see it. She must have amazing genetics. Her legs sauntered in seconds to you. Sitting down across you, she marveled at your setup. Specifically, at the fresh pointe shoes.

“Are those yours, Teacher (Y/N)?” She perked up, caressing its soft fabric and playing with the mini bows of the drawstrings.

“Yes, it is, Minji!” You answered while trying to insert the thin thread through the small eye of the needle. “Why are you still here? Is your nanny stuck in traffic or something?”

“My nanny went on sudden leave, so my dad’s the one fetching me. But I think he’s running late from his job.”

Oh, this was a first to know about her father. In all the years she’s been your student, you rarely caught sight of him, even in recitals. Maybe he sat in an unknown section, but you’re pretty much acquainted with all the parents of your students. Even if some were snobbier than the rest because they wanted their child to have more stage time, you still got to know them out of respect. Quite odd, if you said so yourself.

After deep concentration, the thread triumphantly passed through the eye so you tied the two ends of the thread in a double knot. Seeing as Minji attentively watched you, you tasked her to cut the ribbons of your shoes according to the trail of pencil marks. This was so she wouldn’t cut it too short or too long. While she did that, you hammered your shoes against the floor to soften the hard front, bending the shank back and forth so the arch of your feet could move without difficulty later.

Minji wasn’t expecting such loud sounds, her entire body shaken awake. Her facial expression was priceless, explaining to her, “Once you get your first pointe shoes in a few years, this is one of the basic things you need to do so your feet won’t hurt too much while dancing.”

“Will you be there to teach me how to make my pointe shoes?”

“Absolutely! Come to me first then I’ll mentor you all that I know.”

The process of sewing and breaking new pointe shoes engraved your mind since your adolescent years, with changes along the way. Inspired by some tricks from your former teachers, but there were some differing rituals you followed. There’s no definite process of it, just as long you’re comfortable to dance after.

With your feet, you stepped on the hard boxes of the shoes to soften it more, creating a popping sound. Followed by sewing your elastic bands in. For your ribbons, you liked to burn the edges with a lighter so the thread of it won’t run. Kindly asking your cute assistant for the lighter beside her, you scanned the edges back and forth the flame. In seconds, the edges had a distinct mark, fully closed. From there, you slid your feet to your shoes to make final sewing adjustments. Sewing your ribbons took you another few minutes, plus adding superglue inside the shoe so the shoe won’t collapse when it unstiffens and scratching the shank with a cutter so you won’t slip later while dancing.

Voila, the final product is done! Hopefully, it can last you a week at least.

“Wow, Teacher (Y/N), it looks pretty!” Minji applauded, collecting the mess you’ve both made to dispose of later. You, on the other hand, gave her your thanks once you applied some bandages on your big toes and put on your toe pads. Slipping inside the shoes and tying them, you rose up back to your feet and headed to the bar to break them in. From plies-relevésto forced arches, the shoes gave you the sensation that they were an extension of your feet. The ease flowed through, meaning you were ready to practice your variations.

While you stepped your shoes in rosin for friction, your curious student moved to the front where the mirror lied to watch what you’ve prepared.

“What variation are you dancing to?”

“This is the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere.” You replied, tapping the play button on your phone and racing to your position on the side. Talking a short ballet walk, you strongly prepared your arms before the music of the orchestra takes off.

This variation consisted of a lot of jumps and turns. Grand jetés, attitude turns, chaîné turns, you needed a lot of core control and proper spotting so you won’t get dizzy. The thrilling music lessened your nerves because you enjoyed learning this piece from one of the principal dancers, smiling and letting the music guide your legs. Once you nailed 3 consecutive grand jetés, the variation ended with a sus-sous and the wrists of your hands flicking upwards.

Holding it for 5 more seconds, you landed back on your feet with heavy breathing and a need for water. But before you could, small claps and cheers from Minji in front erupted. Momentarily, you’ve forgotten her presence because dancing solo puts you in your own space. You’d never let anyone take you away from it.

“Teacher (Y/N), that was wonderful! Are you performing that in the summer recital?”

Yikes, she’s right but she wasn’t meant to see it yet. Solo performances from the company members for the recital were top secret, only unveiled during the production rehearsal. Well, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t mind.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Time ticked a lot faster today, only 10 minutes left until the company class on the ground floor whereas you were in the second. Just a few steps down the stairs away, yet Minji was still here. You only presumed that within your hour break, her father could’ve made it already. But maybe he’s stuck in traffic or at work.

“Minji, my class starts soon. Have you contacted your father?”

“I already texted him earlier, but he hasn’t responded. This happens often, he’s a busy man.” She bowed in front of you suddenly. “I’m sorry, Teacher (Y/N) for the hassle.”

“Oh no, please!” You shook your hands so she’d stop. Because this situation was relatively new, you were unsure of how to handle it. Or that was until you remembered what Ten texted you earlier. “Minji, the blinds of the main studio are going to be lifted so anyone from the outside can view us practicing. Would you like to watch until your dad gets here?”

With her insistent nodding, she situated herself in one of the seats in the front row. When you entered the main studio, your two close companions already carried a metal barre to the center and leaned towards it while observing you walking to them in your flat shoes.

“I see we have a bit of an audience here.” Ten glimpsed at the young girl, astonished by the many dancers prepping and chatting away with their cliques from the glass barrier.

“Her dad isn’t here yet, and you did say the blinds were up today. Might as well give her a show while she waits, you know.” You lifted your right leg to the top barre, stretching it with your arms.

“Hmmm, shouldn’t her dad be more cautious though? It’s getting late and it’s a Thursday. Doesn’t she have school or something?” Sicheng pointed out, discarding his muscle tee to straighten out his leotard.

“That’s not my business though. She’s just my student, and since she’s still here, I have to entertain her while she waits.”

Before your friends said anything back, the artistic director of the ballet company strutted her way to the center of the room. It’s a common rule here that once she entered, everyone must be silent to listen and race to any free spot in the numerous barres spread out if they haven’t.

“Alright, everyone. We’ll do the typical barre, then before doing across the floor exercises, I’ll be requesting those performing solos already in the recital to dance any variation tonight as another evaluation on who deserves to perform twice.” She eyed the pianist directly beside her. “Proceed first with two demi-pliés then one grand plié. Don’t forget to do the port de bras of each position.”

As the live piano music played, your focus was divided. Partly properly executing the exercise while your artistic director roamed each barre area, partly thinking about what variation to perform. This was a first for the company, and everyone was just stunned to hear the breaking news. It’d be nice to get an extra opportunity to showcase to people your potential.

30-40 minutes flew by quickly. As the guys carried the bars to the side to clear out the floor and the girls changed to their pointe shoes, the artistic director ordered all the performers of the recitals to stand in a line in front of her. Everyone else was seated around the room, so the interested eyes of everyone were on you. There were 10 performers, half are from the corps and the other half are either demi-soloists or soloists. You and Sicheng stood beside each other, internally shaking with nerves under the intimidating eyes of the artistic director. She used to be a principal dancer for the Stuttgart Ballet in Germany before moving back to Seoul, making her undeniably capable of leading all of you.

“Okay,” From her seated position observing the 10 performers, her finger pointed at you directly. “Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), you perform first.”

Your nerves intensified and more sweat streamed out your upper body. Even if going first felt more relieving, no one was ever brave enough to perform individually in front of the esteemed artistic director. Principal dancers aside from Ten that you’re close with were intimidated when they have 1-on-1 or partnering sessions with her. But anyhow, in less than 2 minutes, you’d be done. This wasn’t the first time she’s had your full attention either, so you’ll treat it like the other individual performances you’ve had.

You smiled to yourself when the other soloists left you alone, while you gave the name of the variation you’re dancing to the pianist. Running to the side to put on a practice tutu, the artistic director asked, “What will you be dancing for us tonight, (Y/N)?”

“I’ll be dancing Queen of the Dryads from Don Quixote.”

The last time you did this variation was 3 years ago during the recital that didn’t change your position as a soloist. Even if this variation hurt to think about for a while, it was still one of your favorites to watch and do. Moving on, you could only muse how powerful and beautiful you felt at that time. This isn’t an easy piece to perform in your opinion. Yet according to the members of the company, this was their favorite solo of yours.

As the starting notes unfolded, you took a deep breath and elegantly walked into the frame. You only wished you wore your fake crown again for this. Minimal smiling and light arms, you imagined yourself as an actual queen who captured the eyes of many. In this case, your fellow seniors and juniors held their breaths at the captivating sight of you.

Off you go into a series of glissade jeté developpé on relevé at elevating heights, then a fouetté arabesque and another arabesque on relevé before ballet walking again to the side to dance across the stage. Sissonne to the front, right developpé to the front on relevé, pique to prepare for a single pirouette, you gracefully did a chassé to the front twice and stood on your toes with a sus-sous.

Doing it a few more times, the climax of the entire variation was nearing. Returning to the center, you took another deep breath and lifted your left leg for the Italian fouettés. Spotting to the front and back while maintaining your balance, the variation approached its end with lame duck turns, posing with your arms were positioned at a 45-degree angle, your back slightly arched and your left leg doing a tendu derriére. Your eyes reflected at the mirror in front, surveying your alignment. Once your 5-second hold was finished, you properly put your arms down and closed your back leg into 5th position.

The applause from everyone in the room roared, Ten and Sicheng wolf-whistling even for more support. It’s a usual thing every time any of you perform individually, and no one minded it. The artistic director grinned, giving a quiet clap from the front before calling out the next performer, who was from the corps. Bowing to everyone hastily, you paid more attention to spot your student by the window. She was smiling ear to ear, waving both hands at you.

“You did amazing, Teacher!” She mouthed. Hearing words of praise from members was one thing, but hearing them from students was another. You’re so used to watching them and giving them your compliments that you often forget that you’re a dancer first before a teacher. Seeing them all delighted, saying that it motivates them more, showed that you’re doing a great job teaching them. You’re a reflection of what you pass down, and all you want was for them to be the best they could be.

From her jolly expression, a tall masculine silhouette hovered a part of the window. Her instinct of giving a brighter smile when the hand of said silhouette patted her head then carried her duffel bag again, that could only mean one thing. Excusing yourself to the artistic director, you stepped out to bid your goodbye and maybe meet her father. Minji and the tall man were about to leave the building if it weren’t for your breathy voice calling them out.

“Seo Minji and Mr. Seo?”

They stopped their tracks. Minji was fast to react, familiar with your voice and racing towards you for a sweaty hug. Meanwhile, your focus shifted once the masculine silhouette came into full view. You finally understood why Minji’s growth spurt spiked up, noticing that he was taller than Sicheng.

The top buttons of his shirt were off, yet he kept his formal blazer on. His hair was a bit tousled, some strands falling in front of his forehead. He must’ve run here. Peeking through were some roots of his scruff growing. His eyebags were almost as dark as his brown hair. Yet by the way his Rolex remained spotless, you blatantly assumed that he was more than well-off. Especially when the ballet academy was one of the most prestigious ones in Seoul.

Out of all the parents you’ve met, none of them appeared youthful like him.

“Teacher (Y/N)?” Thanks to Minji, you moved your staring eyes away from him. This was another first, since meeting only the fathers of your students wasn’t your norm. Meeting young-looking fathers, to be specific.

“O-Oh,” You ate your words, suddenly blanking out. “You’re leaving me without saying goodbye, Minji? Not polite of you.”

“My father was rushing right after watching your performance, and I don’t know why.” She responded, her finger scratching the top of her head in confusion. Speaking of said father, his strong presence appeared right in front of you. The wrinkles of his forehead creased while his eyes barely looked at yours.

“Uhm,” His fingers toyed with his Rolex. “I apologize for my tardiness. I got caught up in work and all, plus her nanny le-”

“Mr. Seo.” You halted his rambling, already aware of the situation. Like father, like daughter. “It’s fine. Minji loved watching us practice while waiting, and she wasn’t a bother either. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Phew.” He swiped an imaginative bead of sweat from his forehead, displaying his relief with his playful nature.

At age 23, Johnny Seo started his own company in the fashion scene and it grew internationally in the coming years. Then when Minji unexpectedly joined the picture, he’s been multi-tasking to make ends meet. Lately, as a CEO, he has had meetings and conferences on a daily. So, his position as a single father was always tested. It worsened when he rarely has proper time to spend any time with Minji unless it’s the weekend or late in the evening. Breaking it down, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet you. It was more like he couldn’t when his schedules were packed from head to toe.

Having the guilt of taking your precious time, “Seriously though, I am sorry for being late. Her nanny resigned suddenly, and I have no time to find her replacement.”

“Mr. Seo, again, don’t worry about it. As her teacher and a company member, I am practically here 24/7 so it won’t be a nuisance at all if this happens again.”

“Thank you so much, Teacher (Y/N). That is your name, right?” He planted his palm on his forehead, stressed. “Being a single parent is hard. I am always forgetting things.”

A part of you couldn’t restrain from feeling sorry for his struggle. Taking care of a child should be the work of both the mother and father, not one of them being absent. You’ve feared this would harm Minji, but she’s a strong girl.

“The fact you didn’t forget to fetch Minji despite the late time is still something to be happy over. I’m not a parent or anything, but parenting, in general, is a challenge.” You added an insight, patting the head of the young girl beside you. “Cut yourself some slack, Mr. Seo. I’m sure Minji still loves you, right?”

Minji shouted a big yes, now clinging to the leg of her father. “It’s okay, dad. Really.”

Over the years, Johnny has been doubtful of his parenting skills. He was an only child, and he struggled to ask for guidance from his own parents due to the shame of having a kid at a young age. So, he’d ask for help from his other friends and co-workers. No matter how many times they’ve reassured him that he’s doing well, he’s an overthinker who always reflected on the bad scenarios. There’s also that pressure to find someone who can fill that absent position not just for Minji, but for himself too. No matter how many girls he’s asked out or been set up with, he failed in the love department badly.

It’s the soothing way you voiced out your truth that made all these negative thoughts running through his head freeze briefly. Over the past 3 years since Minji started ballet, she always had a great story about you to share. One of them was how ballet made her a lot happier because of your influence. If he had at least an hour of his day to meet any of his daughter’s mentors, it would’ve been you.

“Do feel free to call me Johnny instead.” He casually introduced himself, taking his hand out for you to shake. “Mr. Seo makes me feel like I’m at work right now.”

Despite his informal approach, you understood his intentions and returned the action with a promising smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Teacher (Y/N).”

Earlier, the nerves from performing in front of the artistic director died down fast. But for some reason, they rose back up when you’ve spoken to this man in a matter of minutes. As someone whose feelings don’t flourish in a single glance, why did this man specifically deliver you such a strong effect?

If it weren’t for Ten calling for your name by the door, you would’ve held on to Johnny’s hand longer, which would’ve been inappropriate. Letting go first, this was your cue to return to your class.

“I must head back inside, Johnny. Don’t sweat on fetching your daughter late, though she is still a student with school the following day. Right, Minji?”

Minji nodded as Johnny kept that mind, knowing where he has to improve next.  “Yes, Teacher (Y/N). Thank you again, sincerely. I’ll definitely see you again in the coming days until Minji has a new nanny.”

“That’s no problem with me at all, Johnny.”

Soon as Johnny held his daughter’s hand to exit the studio and you were re-entering the studio with an impatient Ten, he swerved swiftly as if he forgot something.

“Oh by the way Teacher (Y/N), I saw your whole performance awhile ago. I was blown away, you deserved the applause.”

Although you could only distinguish his silhouette, you didn’t suppose he watched you from head to toe. Most parents or nannies would’ve dragged their kids out of the studio once they find them like they were on a tight schedule, so this was novel to experience. That performance showed your prime too.

“Thank you, Johnny. See you again soon.”

Giving a final nod, you led yourself back to the studio, not bothering to acknowledge the erupting heat on your cheeks and entire body. Not to sound narcissistic, but compliments weren’t foreign to you. You’re conscious of the hard work that you put in your talent and if they pointed out your greatness, why would you deny it? However, receiving one from Johnny was like gearing your engine with new fuel.

Before you could try to reject these harboring feelings, Ten was fast to pick up on it. You cannot hide anything from this man at all because body language was like another language he’s fluent in (aside from the other 5). Unlucky for you, the saga continued.

“You’re so into dilfs, (Y/N)!” He shrieked in your ear, nudging your shoulder repetitively. He placed things in his own way, yet they always shocked you because it was so inappropriate. Typical Ten for you.

“Shut up, Ten!” You objected, watching the other performers. You’ve improved in ignoring his remarks over time. That was until Sicheng sat down beside you after his solo and got up in your business. That placed you in the middle of boys from the water sign clan of astrology. They just loved getting down to your love life, going raunchy and whatnot.

“Who’s into dilfs, Ten?”

“A Miss (Y/N) beside you, who met Minji’s dad awhile ago, was basically eye-fucking him.” Ten elaborated, planting his elbows on your leg and gave you a sneaky glare. “Minji’s dad is fine as fuck, guys! I’m telling you, like a literal god! I’m surprised this is the first time he showed up here after 2-3 years?”

“How come (Y/N) is always getting students with good-looking parents? Especially the single moms.” Sicheng slumped his shoulders, attempting to get your attention too. “Is he that hot, (Y/N)?”

“Yah.” Sighing with annoyance, you’ve given up trying to appreciate one of the corps dancers with her rendition of Dulcinea from Don Quixote. “Don’t speak of Johnny like that. You barely know the man, yet you talk about him so unprofessionally."

“Oh, Johnny is his name, huh?” Sicheng sing-songed, bobbing his head. He’s certainly going to stalk him later on social media, you felt it in your chest. Like it was ESPN or something.

“Talking about being unprofessional, yet you’re here referring him as Johnny, not Mr. Seo.” Ten barked back, his lips pursed and one eyebrow lifted.

Just as soon as you could retaliate, the artistic director’s velvety voice boomed the room.

“Alright, thank you to the performers. I will deliberate with the staff and principal dancers over the weekend, and let you know the results on Monday. Now please, let’s proceed to the center.”

Everyone began to spread out on the wide floor, snatching a good position so they could monitor themselves in the mirror. Maybe you’ll defend yourself later after class because now, you needed to beat everyone else and have a crystal-clear view of yourself doing these following exercises.

In the meantime, Johnny was in the middle of driving Minji home. He had a designated chauffeur, but he gave him the night off because he wanted to spend time with Minji. Around this time, she’d be sleeping soundly, but instead, she’s boosting with so much life. She hasn’t even eaten dinner yet, which was the first thing on Johnny’s agenda now.

Playing Coldplay in the car, Minji belted some lyrics from her favorite songs while Johnny smiled to himself while listening to her attentively. Taking a breath, her thoughts reverted to her fantastic ballet teacher and shared them with her father.

“Dad! Don’t you just think Teacher (Y/N) is so cool? Ugh, I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

“Oh, to become a ballerina like her, you have to work hard every day and memorize lessons fast. Are you up for it, Minji?”

“Absolutely, dad! I want to pull off perfect jumps and turns like her one day!”

In the other after-school activities Johnny enrolled Minji in the past, none of them compared to the passion she had for ballet. Her work ethic was alike to Johnny’s: if they want something, they’ll do whatever it takes to make it possible.

Aside from being a star student in her school, she’s aiming to be a star ballerina. Being the supportive father he is, Johnny was on board to do what it takes to make it happen. Unlike his parents trying to mold him into the next heir of their company, he’s all ears to the dreams of his daughter. His only dream for her was to be live long and happy, not to merely pass on anything.

Johnny lost so much in his young life, so he doesn’t want to lose Minji in any way. As much as he loves his profession, he wanted to be an active father as much as time allowed it. He mostly received complaints from others that he’s not prioritizing his time well, but after hearing your kind words, this heavy weight on his shoulders decreased. All this doubt started to vanish after meeting you for the first time.

“Dad! Isn’t Teacher (Y/N) so beautiful?” Minji honored whilst gazing at the twinkling night sky. “She loves what she does and shines at it.”

Johnny was accustomed to his female co-workers throwing themselves at him due to his attractiveness, more than flattered even to have them feeling weak for him. Yes, there were times he used it to his advantage, some he frankly turned down. 

However, the radiance you carried whether you’re dancing or not was something Johnny couldn’t cease wondering about. Unknown to him, he’s the one getting weak. Behold, an unlocked first for the confident CEO.

“Yes, Minji. I do think Teacher (Y/N) is absolutely beautiful.”

[words-for-holland]

Always Yours

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Sometimes dating a celebrity is hard...but Tom & Y/N have always said no matter what happens they could get through anything. Some angst but a lot of fluff.

A/N: So sorry for leaving yall hanging! Life is just crazy right now and this blog needs a lot of TLC tbh!! Also ehh I def dont think this was my best work but enjoy?

“Oof” Y/N lets out as she plops on to her boyfriend who was lying comfortable on the couch. Tom groaned at the impact with a cheeky smile on his face, his arms instantly wrapping around Y/N’s frame.

“Y’know..there are empty seats right there.” The soft brown-eyed boy gestured with the flick of his thick head as Y/N raises her eyes looking down at him, pretending to be slightly offended.

“Oh I see how it is then. It’s cool...Ill just cuddle with Tessa instead. I know she would welcome me with open arms instead of—” As she slowly starts getting off his chest, Tom is quick to pull her back in, securing her with his strong arms. “No baby, I was just kidding. I want you right here, and Im never letting you go.” he pleas.

The only thing Y/N could manage was letting out a fit of giggles into his chest, a sound that Tom adored and would do absolutely anything to hear every minute of every day. They stay like this for a while enjoying the feeling of each other as they both run their hands into each others hair, the feeling of their chests moving up and down, the subtle thumps of their heartbeats, and the little slips of adoration that came out of their mouths. It was peaceful. A moment that nobody could really take a way because it was theirs.

Y/N casually pulls up her phone, and scrolls through Twitter when she noticed a particular tweet on her timeline. Her eyebrows furrow, as she read the 160 character message.

Why Tom Holland Should Be With Aaliyah Cole and Dump Y/N: A Thread.

She knew it wasnt a good idea to open up the thread. She knew very well that everything within the shallow string of tweets would be a complete waste of her time because it was made up by fans who just wanted to satisfy their fantasy of shipping Tom with his co-star. Who can blame them? They always had great chemistry, but it was part of the job and thats all it would ever be.

“You’re awfully quiet.” Tom murmurs, as he places soft kisses at the crown of her head. “Whats going on?” She was lucky her phone was facing away from Tom, quickly closing the app and pretending to be on one of her many tabs in Safari.

“Mmm..nothing.” Y/N lies softly, a tight-lipped smiled plastered on her face.

“Absolute bullocks. Youre not a very good liar.” He chuckles. “Tell me darling. Whats on your mind?”

Y/N rolls her eyes in response. She’s heard that comment one too many times in her life from everyone shes known. After not giving it much thought, she gives in, sighing heavily. “Dont judge me for what Im about to say.”

“Mmm...I think it might depend on wha— Ow” Tom reacts as he playfully rubs the side of his chest that Y/N hit. “Okay too soon for jokes. Go on.”

Again, Y/N sighs as she props herself up. “Its just ... well a lot of your fans keeps talking about wanting you to get with Aaliyah.” She looks down trying not to make eye contact with Tom, who she’d imagine was looking at her with annoyance.

Tom rolls his eyes at the ridiculousness. Not so much at Y/N but the fact that some of his fans just didnt want to accept the fact that he was happy with Y/N. If it had to come from his mouth to stop the stupid rumors and give his girlfriend peace, then hed gladly yell it from the rooftops for everyone to hear. “Thats it Im making a statement about it.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in fear, scrambling to prevent him from grabbing his phone on the table next him. “No no no no.” She repeatedly declines. “You’ll only make it worse.”

“Darling, Im not going to stand here and watch you get all insecure because of their delusional ship.”

“Yeah well Im not gonna be the reason your fans hate me because Im getting in the way of your friendship with Aaliyah Cole.” She fires back.

Tom was ready to open his mouth only to be cut off once again. “And you know better. That is how your fans will always see it.”

“Okay, are you done?” He calmly asked, cautiously observing her. Rarely did Y/N ever get worked up about anything, but when she had her tangents, Tom always made sure she got off everything she needed to say before he becomes her voice of reason.

“Yeah, I guess.” she says feeling defeated. “Look its whatever and Im tired, can we just let this go and forget this whole conversation even happened?”

Tom was unconvinced, but didnt want to push her further. So reluctantly, he gave in and wrapped his arms around Y/N as they both tried to lull themselves to sleep.

***

Y/N wasnt sure how she ended up in the Tube. It was strange how the lights flickered off the rusted tile floor. The train was no where to be seen, but off to the side of the railroads was pitch black, she could hardly see beyond. To her right she noticed herself standing in the corner of the room, and to her surprise Aaliyah was there. Her milk chocolate kissed skin, and fashionably long frizzy hair dropped down past her shoulders. Her figure long and poised, as she wore a rain jacket and sweats. An outfit only she could pull off and make it look like she was a model for Vogue. Aasliyah smiles brightly at Y/N.

“Hey Y/N.” She says cheerfully as a genuine friend would.

To Y/N’s surprise she greeted her back in the same tone. “Hey Aaliyah...uhh whats going on?” Y/N wasnt sure if she wanted the answer of how they both ended up in the Tube or if she truly wanted to know how her day went.

“Well Im getting ready to present at the Oscars.” She replies, a smile plastered as if she was so excited about it, almost too excited like she was keeping a secret.

“Really? Oh my god, that’s amazing! Im so proud of you Aaliyah! Who are you taking?”

Aaliyah pauses for a few moment looking back and forth, making sure no one else was around. “Okay can you keep a secret?” She whispered.

Y/N nods her head slowly, not having the slightest clue of what was going on. “Im taking Tom. I think he really likes me, and well...I like him too! Do you think maybe I should ask him when we go?” Aaliyah asked genuinely. It was almost like she had no recollection of Y/N and Tom being a couple. “I think we would look good together. Everyone is already making rumors and ships about us.”

Y/N backs aways lowly only to bump into a broad figure. As she turns around she sees Tom, emotionless and almost sad. “Y/N.” He speaks out. “I dont think this is going to work out. Im leaving you.”

Y/N’s heart quickens, and her breaths become shorter as she tries to find a way to run. Running and running into the darkness, until all she could hear was Tom’s faint voice calling out her name.

***

“Y/N! Y/N! Baby wake up please.” Tom cries as he gently shakes his girlfriend from her disturbed sleep.

Quickly Y/N opens her eyes and clutches on to Toms hoodie firmly. Back home, and in Toms arms. It was a dream was all she thought. A sigh of relief escaping from her mouth.

“Darling...” he speaks softly, worried about his girlfriend. “Are you okay?”

Y/N looks up at him and nods frantically. “Mmm..bad dream.”

“Yeah it seemed like it. You were so frightened...I was scared. What happened?” He’s looking at her, trying to read her saddened eyes, wanting to desperately understand what scared her so he could make it all go away for her.

Y/N looks down at her fiddling hands, as she sits on the couch. “I uhh...” she lets out a chuckle, thinking of the ridiculousness of it all. “I uhh...dreamed about Aaliyah going to the oscars and saying how she loved you and how you two are perfect for each other. When I turned around I saw you but you werent happy and said you were leaving me.”

Tom doesnt say a word, all he could think about was how sorry he felt to put Y/N in this position. Though both of them knew, It wasnt Toms fault, or anyone’s for that matter. Feelings are feelings and that was okay. No human being was ever born perfect and without insecurities.

Y/N always tried to be a good sport with situations like this knowing every shippers theory and evidence were hardly ever true, but at some point there was only so much she could take before it all came out like an oil spill. Maybe it was a sign that she wasnt good enough to be with Tom if half of his fanbase thought this way as well.

Tom cradled her into his arms again, holding her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “Darling, I know youre still doubting yourself about all of this, but please believe me when I tell you that I love you so so much and no matter what happens...Im always yours.” He whispers gently in her ear. “It was only a dream and these ridiculous rumors and theories are just that. No one woman in the world could ever make me feel the way I feel for you.”

Y/N blinks softly, as she stares into space. Afraid and in a weird way ashamed, its funny how something so small and so minimal could affect her self-esteem so greatly. Tom gently brings her head up, so her eyes can meet his. He rolls his thumb on the bottom of her soft lips. “Hey, I love you.” Tom smiles.

Time stopped for the both of them the moment Y/N looked into his eyes, she felt safe. All the bad words and thoughts slowly disappear. Tom was right, none of the things that anyone said about their relationship mattered. She knew Tom loved her, and how much she truly loved him. Isnt that enough? Of course not. It was more than enough. A smile slowly forming on Y/N’s face. “Theres that smile I love so much.” He comments.

“Im sorry, for being such a —”

“No. Its okay. You have a right to feel the way you did.” He picks up her hand and leaves a gentle kiss.

“I love you so much Tom.” She says pressing her lips to his. “I dont deserve you.”

“Darling, its me that doesnt deserve you. Im always yours.” Tom proclaims as he kisses her back.

[aminiatureworld]

Frustration

Characters: Childe, Diluc, Xiao, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,068 words

Premise: Commissions don’t always go as planned, much to your frustration. Luckily there’s someone there to make you feel better.

Author’s Note: So I’ve been thinking of writing Genshin stuff for months now but haven’t, for various reasons mainly that being how much this blog is already a bit of a disarrayed mess. But after awhile I decided another fandom won’t hurt. Besides I think it’s better to write something than nothing, even if the fandom keeps changing. So… yeah?

This particular scenario was basically my day today. The characters have been chosen out of my own personal will. I was going to do Zhongli as well but I’m exhausted so if this is well received perhaps I’ll do that another day.

Also I’m so tired I’m halfway to a headache and feel a bit floaty so sorry if there are grammar mistakes and such. Anyways, hope you like!

Character Banners in progress

Ao3 link in reblog

Childe

“I’m gonna kill someone.” You muttered, slamming your weapon down on the table, causing the ginger next to you to start.

“As long as that person’s not me I’ll be glad to help you.” You weren’t sure whether you found the comment worrying, insulting, or charming, and decided not to reply, instead throwing yourself in the chair across from Childe, usually reserved for customers or some member of the Fatui higherups, though today you could care less.

“Hey, am I not good enough?” Childe half whined half joked. You only grunted before getting up and walking over to his chair, plopping yourself on his lap and promptly picking at a stray thread on his coat which had caught your eye and was now becoming an increasing source of irritation.

Taking this as a sign Childe gently pried your nails away from the offending thread. Placing your palms in his gloved hands he smiled and placed a kiss on your forehead. “Want to tell me about it?”

“It’s this stupid ley line! You know, the one in the stone forest? I was commissioned to keep an eye on it, normal stuff, but this one seems absolutely crawling with all sorts of slimes and the like, hilichurls too and a stray bandit here or there. They keeping breaking the damn thing and the minute I fix it they’re back again. At this rate I’m not going to finish it!” You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking of the hours you’d spent fighting with the thing. You’d even let out a few tears of frustration in the process, and having nothing to show for it was intensely irritating, to say the least.

“Poor darling.” Childe’s smirk was timeless, but there was a softness to it that you took as confirmation that he understood. I mean if anyone was going to understand it was going to be a member of the Fatui. As much as you disliked the group on principle, you did have to admit that Childe was certainly a hard worker, and running around at the whims of the far off Tsaritsa certainly had its trials.

Slumping against his chest you allowed yourself to relax a bit, some tension brought out simply by the act of telling someone about the frustrations that were building up, like someone shaking a corked bottle. Childe kissed your hands, a welcome distraction, before giving you a peck on the nose. You smiled at that, squeezing his hands. It felt good to have someone to complain to, to have someone who understood. But that was Childe, surprisingly understanding. And always looking for a fight.

“So…” as if on cue Childe spoke up, tone becoming truer, his smile becoming more foxlike. “You have something you need help fighting I hear.”

“Don’t let this get you any ideas.” You smirked right back. “I can still whip you when it comes to sparring at you know it. Besides, won’t I get in trouble if you’re there.”

“Give me half the commission rate and we’ll call it square.”

“Such a steep rate!” You gasped in fake horror, nevertheless lifting yourself off the chair. Childe was up no sooner, giving you a mischievous grin.

“Well of course! I can’t have you fleecing me out of my money. Not when I’ve already given you my heart, which is quite expensive by the way.” Giving you a quick forehead kiss he took your hand then, giving some half assed excuse to the poor desk clerk when they asked where he was going. “I have to save someone some trouble.”

You scoffed at that, but it was true. Childe was saving you a lot of trouble, and keeping your pride in some sort of piece. That was Childe. Wild, passionate, aching for a fight, perhaps not a great person – no in fact decidedly not so. But he was also surprisingly caring, reliable, and steadfast. And that was all you could ask for in the moment.

 Diluc

“Do you know where in Monstadt someone is supposed to find 50 Windwheel Asters?”

Diluc whipped his head up at that one; out of all the things he expected you to say that was certainly not one of them. It was almost closing time at the Winery, and this was normally the time when you came up to see him, chatting about this and that, waiting for him to close the ledger so you two could have some time together. In the entire history of your relationship there’d never been an evening that began such as this.

“There should be some around here, and Windrise if you’re in for a bit of a hike. But 50 is an awful lot, and I’m not sure the florists would be happy if you carted off with all their flowers.”

“I know.” You raised an eyebrow, leaning against the wall, picking at your fingernails. “I know that finding 50 of anything in a day is a hard task. But I was given a short noticed commission by some wealthy tradesman who’s passing by and wanted some flowers for a gala or some such thing. It’s important for the Guild that I complete these you know, and I’m not looking forward to telling Katheryne about it tomorrow.”

You sighed, glancing out the window of the Winery. You thought of all the places in Monstadt the view was perhaps loveliest here, cozy, with a view of all that made Monstadt, the planes, the forest, even a glimpse of the waterways that ran through it. But right now all you could think about was how in such a vast swath of land you’d still failed to meet the goal, you’d still turned up empty handed.

“Would you sit next to me?” Diluc’s voice broke you out of your depressing reverie and you sat down in the chair adjacent to his – a recent addition to his office – laying your head somewhat awkwardly on his shoulder, running your hands through his soft hair. You two sat in silence like that for a bit, the steady flow of Diluc’s pen keeping your eyes occupied while your hands braided and twisted at random, gentle and absentminded.

Finally the ledger was closed and Diluc turned to you. Smiling he massaged your left shoulder slightly, eliciting a sigh from you.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for things like this.” He began, his tone soft and low. “No reasonable person on Earth would ask you to gather so many flowers in a day. Even Flora doesn’t sell that many to a single customer without an order, and her whole job consists of selling flora. You’ve watched me work long enough, do you think I’d sell 50 kegs of wine to a tradesman on site?”

“No, of course not.” You mumbled. “But it’s my job to do the unconventional requests, how can I pick and choose at random? I can’t very well complete only half of my commissions.”

“Of course not, but nobody expects you to simultaneously catch 50 flowers out of thin air either. The Guild has its own regulations and rules you know, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a violation of one. No one doubts your prowess my dear. You’ve slain Eyes of Storms and have scaled mountains taller than most people in Monstadt might ever imagine. You done what might be considered impossible to some many times. So you should trust in the Guild and in the people of Monstadt. They aren’t well likely to turn their back on you over such a ridiculous request.”

You hummed a reply, resting your hands on Diluc’s. All he said was probably right of course, Katheryne could very well tell you how ridiculous such a request was, and no harm would come to your reputation. But your relationship with Diluc was still young, there was still so much to learn about the other, and so hearing such confident praise from him felt like a sort of gift, recompense for such a frustrating ordeal. Humming once more you leaned your head on his shoulder again. Tomorrow you would go and tell the Guild about the debacle, and let the man know the ridiculousness of his request. But tonight you just wanted to rest with the person you cherished the most. That was all you wished for.

 Xiao

“Something’s wrong.” Xiao’s voice was purposefully flat, and you wondered not for the first time how the adeptus in front of you had become so good at reading your mood, especially considering the fact that he admitted himself that his grasp on human emotions was a tricky one. He always seemed to know when you were upset at least, and your initial urge to attempt to hide your frustration immediately blew away.

“It’s been a rough day.” You admitted, standing next to him on the Wangshu Inn’s railing, letting the cool evening breeze cool you down. It’d been an obnoxiously hot day, and you were glad for any bit of fresh air. Xiao said nothing, but you could feel his gaze on you, waiting for your decision as to whether or not you’d let him know the reason you were upset. Not that it was really a question, at this point you couldn’t imagine a time when you didn’t tell Xiao practically everything, from the most mundane to those things that loomed largest in your life. You’d never met someone you trusted so much in your life before, and it felt rather freeing, knowing that he didn’t mind a bit, something that had scared you when you first began opening up to him.

“It’s just a commission, nothing ground shaking. Thankfully.” You added on, thinking of when Liyue had almost been swallowed whole; the moment when it seemed all would fail, before the miraculous traveler had bound the adept and the citizens of Liyue together. It was something you weren’t likely to forget, and something you never wished to relive. “That being said.” You added on. “It’s something that, well, is distressing me a lot.”

Xiao stood patiently as you explained to him that your deceptively simple commission of delivering food to someone had managed to go horribly awry after a group of Cryo slimes had left the food frozen solid, with the angry customer unwilling to pay or wait for a replacement.

“It wasn’t too expensive thankfully.” You remarked. “I mean it was just food. But it feels silly, and a bit embarrassing. I mean of course I should’ve paid, I don’t begrudge that. I just don’t understand how I managed to screw up something so fundamentally simple. It seems… somehow a bit of a slap in the fact. I mean, aren’t I any good?”

“Of course you are.” Xiao’s answer was firm, but not unkind. Instead it held in it the certainty of one who’d lived thousands of years, and whose trust in you was absolute. Drawing closer, the adeptus glanced around, making sure there was no one around, before slinging an arm around your own, drawing you close and running soft circles around your shoulder.

“You’re a great adventurer.” He remarked, voice filled with as much serious as there was fondness. “I’ve seen many warriors, many adventurers come and go in my time. Those whose feats will fill the pages of books and the staves of songs long after they themselves have been reduced to ashes. Those who will be called great heroes. All of them fell sometimes. And, if you must fall, I’d rather it be over something so simple as a botched food delivery.”

You glanced up into Xiao’s eyes. Normally he was reticent with words, even moreso with gestures. Every word let you deeper into someone’s life, into their past, their personality, their soul. No word was careless with Xiao. And as you stared at eyes filled with pride and love and worry, suddenly you felt as if what had just passed was small, oh so very small. There would be another commission, just as there would be another tomorrow. There’d be another failure most likely too. Many of them even. But they were small stones in a great big pond, quickly sinking out of sight and out of mind.

“I love you.” You breathed, and Xiao’s face seemed to open all of a sudden, shedding a thousand cares and a thousand worries. He pressed his forehead to your own.

“I love you too.”