#i also need that theme dropped to listen to on repeat

[tekkenenjoyerblue]

Ok now that I’ve given it time to stew

AUUUUUUUGHHHH I AM SO SO SO EXCITED FOR BISON TO BE BACK IN SF6

I need to know everything! With them leaning into him having some kind of amnesia how far does that extend? The blue energy, is that soul power? IS HE USING SOUL POWER AND PSYCHO POWER? Whats his World Tour story gonna play out like?? WHATS HIS OUTFIT THREE GONNA LOOK LIKE??? Ok one of these is probably less of a pressing issue to other people…But I’m just so excited!!

June 26th can’t get here fast enough for mee

[back2bluesidex]

Slide - The Ultimate Decision - MYG

Pairing: Producer!Yoongi X Lyricist!Reader 

Theme: Angst, smut, unplanned pregnancy. Fwb to ?

Word count: 2.2k+

Summary: 

"I can't feel my legs Hop right on the ledge, jump right off the edge"

Alternatively, 

Worst decisions are always driven by anger and alcohol; but sometimes those are also driven by Love.

Warnings: so much angst, reader's inner turmoil, unplanned pregnancy, yoongi is making things worse, Hoseok is the doctor but he is not to be shipped with the reader here, he is a catalyst though, pining, so much pining.

Listened to Slide by Chase Atlantics

Minors do not interact!!

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Patreon (for early access)

A/N: The next chapter from the present timeline.

Taglist requests are closed for now

Read the next chapter

You fumble with your phone, scrolling down numbers after numbers but can’t find a single contact you can call at a time like this. 

The pregnancy testing kit lies on your left hand as if it has been tattooed on your skin. For some reason, you don’t feel dread creeping up through the path of your neck. 

Should you cry? Should you call Yoongi and curse him to your heart’s content? Should you ask him to take the responsibility when he is about to start living his old happy life again? 

Probably you should. 

But the thing is… you can’t bring yourself to do any of those. 

You don’t even know what you should feel or what you need to feel at a moment like this. 

You don’t even have any idea of what’s going to be your next move. 

Will you keep the baby? Or will you choose to abort it? 

But before everything, you should consult with someone, who is wiser than you. 

Your fingers hover above your mother’s contact ID, even though you know your calls are going to go unnoticed, unanswered, ignored as if you never came out of her womb. 

And things will turn even uglier if she answers your call and you manage to tell her what you have done to yourself, more or less willingly. 

So you let your phone fall limp on your lap. 

How funny - you have absolutely no one to confide in. no family, no friends, no one. 

As soon as the realization hits, your eyes start turning blurry. 

Tear drops escape one by one, dampening your cheeks, throat, collarbones. You caress your stomach. 

“What do I do now?” the mumble comes out choked. And then you are thinking of him again. 

How he cried in his sleep the first time you brought him here with you. How he repeated his actions again during his last visit here. 

Both of the time you stood on the sidelines, the center of his universe has always been Gyuri. 

In the end, though, you have been the one affected - with blooming warmth in your chest and in turn a presence of life in your womb. 

As you think of Yoongi, your mind runs back to the man who had helped you in picking him up from the streets. 

You still remember, his card said he was an obgyn. 

Your tears cease. 

Yes. As much as you need a friend or family right now, you need an expert too. 

Standing abruptly from your bed, you run toward the other side of it, reaching out for the night stand, where you had kept the man’s card more than a year ago. 

You don’t have to struggle much to find out the card, it’s there as if it has been waiting to be found all these times. 

Holding the card in your hand, opens the flood gate of fresh memory of that night, of Yoongi’s dirty face, vomit all over his clothes and him holding you tightly in his sleep. 

That was the first and last time. 

He never held you for a second time, unless you were having sex. 

Pushing down the depressing thoughts, you grab your phone and with swift fingers dial the number of the man - Jung Hoseok. 

The clock reads 9 pm on a Wednesday night. And you pray, this is not past his business hours, he has no such mentions in the card as well. 

The universe seems to grant your prayer this time, probably out of sheer pity, as the man accepts the call on the fourth ring. 

“Hello, It’s Dr. Jung Hoseok, how can I help you?” The man speaks with a professional tone that sets you on an unexplainable ease. 

“Hi, uh, I am sorry to call you like this but I had managed to get my hands on your card and I think I need your help. I, um, I’m pregnant. And I think I need an appointment.” your hands start sweating now when you realize all of it is real. You are pregnant with the baby of a man who doesn’t love you. 

Pathetic. 

“How many weeks are you?” the man asks with the same professional pronunciation. 

“I don’t know. I just found out a few minutes ago. This is my first time and I don’t know what to do.” you speak honestly. 

These are the same words you want to confess to a friend, to your mother as well and most importantly to Yoongi. But talking to a stranger, about how helpless you are, is much less nerve-wracking. 

“You are not a teenager, are you?” he speaks, suspicion laced in his voice. 

A sudden chuckle leaves your throat, “I’m twenty seven.” 

The other side of the line only hums and then after a beat he says, “we usually don’t accept appointments made via phone calls but I can guide you on how to book one. If that’s okay with you?” 

“Anything is okay with me.” 

And you are not lying. At this hour, alone in your apartment, robbed off options, in the lack of a confidant - any assistance is okay with you. 

Any assistance is fine if that means you will be able to figure out what you are going to do with a baby in your womb, gifted by the man whom you let destroy yourself for the sake of love. 

The appointment is due at 3 in the afternoon and right now the clock is at 1:26. 

The hospital is an hour's drive away, hence, if you leave now, you will still have a 30 minutes on your hand. 

But the problem is that you didn’t inform anyone formally about this secretive appointment. Applying an official leave would raise questions about the nature and reason of the appointment and you don’t want that. 

You want to protect this truth with every drop of blood your body owns. 

So, you decide to quickly drop by Namjoon's office and tell him you need the rest of the day off for some emergency. 

For a matter you know Namjoon is not privy enough to inquire about the so-called emergency. 

Much to your dismay, your plans shatter like a porcelain vase as soon as you open the door of Namjoon’s office. Because one, there is no Namjoon, two, there is Min Yoongi. 

Yoongi’s expression mimics yours as he takes you in, standing there, staring at him as if he didn’t fuck you raw and left you with consequences just a month ago. 

But then again… a month of radio silence, a month of stolen glances, a month of no skin contact, a month of no Min Yoongi was more painful than you’d dare to admit. 

Your heart thumps inside your chest as you realize, you are standing in front of the man whose baby is currently in your womb. 

You are carrying a baby! And that’s Min Yoongi’s! Screams your mind at the loudest possible volume. 

But still, by some miraculous strength, you manage to smile at him.

A casual, nonchalant smile as you are used to. 

Except this time, Yoongi doesn’t smile back. 

He looks at you with eyes so deep that you fear you will succumb to them yet again if you stay here for a moment longer. 

“Where’s Namjoon?” you get straight to the point, without wasting your time in any greeting. 

“Y/N. Wait.” but you have always been weak to the way Yoongi calls your name. This time, you are hearing it after what feels like an eternity. 

“He went out to escort a guest.” Yoongi says, flatly, his tone devoid of any emotions. It’s tough to believe he cried in your arms a month ago.

“Oh. Then can you please let him know that I have an emergency and I have left for the day? Thank you.” you don’t wait for his reply as you start turning your heels to run away already. 

His voice works like glue and stops you in your tracks. You are now unable to move. A cold, calloused palm comes in contact with your upper arm, forcing you to face the man. 

When you face him, you see his face and expression has softened. The stoic expression is now gone and you are afraid of what to make out of it. 

This is not pity, is it? 

“How are you? It’s been so long- I wanted to see you but-” 

“But there is no reason to do so, right?” you finish his sentence for him, “I am fine, Yoongi. How are you? How’s Gyuri?” 

“All good.” he ignores the mention of the woman, "What's the emergency? Are you alright?” He places the back of his palm on your forehead, checking your body temperature. 

Your eyes fill to the brim. You need to leave right now or you will start crying. 

“I- I’m fine.” you lie, removing his hand from your skin, “it’s just something personal.” 

Yoongi frowns at that “oh. You can tell me. If you need any he-” 

“I can take care of it myself, Yoongi. You have a life to lead, you have better days ahead now, why would you even care about me? I was just a fleeting chapter anyway. Please- please don’t act like our time together meant anything to you. Please, I beg.” try as you might, you couldn’t contain it anymore. 

Just like you, Yoongi, too, is taken aback with your outburst. Though his eyes are kind, if you dare to add, then those might as well be in pain. 

But his next words only break you further, “wasn’t it a given? A silent agreement that our time together wouldn’t mean much to any of us?” 

Is he challenging you? Trying to elicit a further reaction? Is it a knife to dig more in your fresh wounds? 

If yes, then you will do everything to disappoint him. 

You nod, “Yeah. You are right. Forget I have said anything. Bye.” 

Yoongi opens his mouth to say something but you are faster than his words. Before he manages to say a word, you are out of the door and shutting it on his face. 

He is cruel. 

He has always been. 

But you still love him. 

You have always had. 

The fact that Yoongi can be a little heartless has never been a shock to you. 

Nevertheless, it didn’t harm you any less when he let those careless words out of his mouth. Then again, you can not even blame him because you had been the one to place your heart in his hands and asked him to play with it. 

In the end, it’s your fault. 

And you are already paying the price in more ways than one. 

“Miss Y/N?” a nurse calls your name, pulling you out of your miserable thoughts, “you can go in now.” 

With a bow and a forced smile you leave the waiting area and enter the OPD room. 

A man is sitting at the desk, with his scrubs and white coat on, the nameplate on the table says he is the one who helped you out that night. He is Jung Hoseok. 

You failed to look at his face that night, being too busy with tending Yoongi. But now that you are looking at him, he seems to be the embodiment of everything that’s positive, light, bright - much unlike you (or Yoongi for that matter). 

His eyes light up as he takes you in, with a big smile he says, “oh? You are Miss Y/N? I remember you clearly. Please take the seat.” 

You wonder how it's even possible to recall you after seeing you once, that too a year ago, “You do?” 

“Yes. I still remember that night and your friend.” He mentions Yoongi.

If he sees the man’s mention dims you even further then he doesn’t say anything but he chooses to change the topic right away, “have you filled the form?” 

“Yes.” you hand him the piece of paper. 

He goes through it all at once, probably having everything memorized, but his eyes get stuck at one point. And you have an idea what it can be. 

“As I can see, you have not added anyone as your closest contact?” he says with a careful tone.

“Yes.” you reply briefly. 

“You need to add one person at least, maybe a friend, or a family, or the father of the baby.” he suggests. 

“I- No one knows about this just yet. I don’t have any immediate friend or family who could help me out.” your hands are now shaking. 

“Sorry to pry, but what about the father of the baby?” Jung Hoseok leans a little further on the table, as if trying to measure your facial expressions. 

“He is unaware of the situation.” 

“Are you sure you want the baby?” he voices in the softest possible tone anyone has ever used against you. 

“Yes. I want to keep the baby.” and that’s it. If the baby is one last proof of what Yoongi had with you for no less than a year, if the baby is a proof that Yoongi had once held you, cried in your arms, dipped inside you to forget his own complications, then you want to keep it. 

And this will be your ultimate decision no matter what anyone else says. 

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[flamingpudding]

Fictober23 Prompt: 15 - "Fine explain it to me."

Fandom: DPxDC

Rating: T

Warnings: Slight shipping but can be seen as platonic too

A/N: Just wanted to mention that I usually am more of a found family themed dpxdc writer but this was a self runner once I started writing until I realised that this could be seen as a ship.

Danny sipped on the champain, he was drinking leaning against the wall. Next to him, also leaning against the wall with crossed arms was Dan glaring at everyone that even remotely tried to approach them. Dani had disappeared into the crowds and Danny was convinced that she had made her way to the buffet table and had found a hiding place with whatever food she had piled up high on a plate. He had seen her do that before.

"How long do these things go?" Dan asked, glaring at someone specifically, Danny knew was a business partner of the fruitloop.

"A couple of hours, usually fruitloop lets us leave around 8 pm." Danny answered easily, surveying the area for any familiar face he might recognize despite knowing he wouldn't. Sam's family wasn't attending this gala and any face he could recognize was probably a business partner of Vlad or someone he had seen on a magazine cover.

"Dile back your glare. Your eyes are glowing red." He offhandedly mentioned to his time-clone-twin taking another sip. Dan only growled at him and looked stubbornly away, though his eyes lost the red color and turned back to a blue.

"How do you and Dani do this shit?"

Danny hummed, museing how things had changed over the past couple of years since Dani and him started to attend these Galas Vlad made them go too. "I hated it at first too. But you weren't socialized enough to attend and Dani used to flat out refuse but we got used to it and found our tactics on how to handle it. Dani usually raids the buffet and finds a hiding place, I just hang with Sam if she is here."

"But she is not." Dan growled, now glaring at a rich kid that had looked like it wanted to approach them but wisely decided to turn tail at Dan's glare. "These stuck up kids are trying to mock us aren't they?"

"Yup." Danny popped the p. "We could always ghost the fruitloop though."

"And have to listen to him lecturing us later? No thanks." Dan's eyes went over the people at this place. He saw Vlad talking to someone he was pretty sure had been on the cover of some tech magazine before but then his eyes stopped on a guy with black hair and blue eyes looking only slightly older than them that was staring at them very intensely.

Dan rammed his elbow into Danny's side, causing the other to wheeze and nearly drop the glass he was holding. The one he had spotted was now on his way to approach them and Dan narrowed his eyes. "You know that guy?"

Danny once he caught his breath again looked up and his eyes widened with recognition. "Shit!"

But before Dan could question the other about that guy, who was now speed walking with a business smile towards them, Danny grabbed him by the elbow and dragged him along with him. "We need to go, like right now."

Dan dragging his feed and making Danny literally drag him along only looked at his phone arching an eyebrow mockingly. "It's not 8 pm yet."

"Text the fruitloop. We are going-"

"Danny, what a pleasure to see you here, I didn't know you attended galas like this." Danny got cut off by the same guy Dan had spotted watching them. He hadn't seen how but somehow that guy had managed to cross the hall before them and block Danny's exit.

Dan heard Danny mutter a distinctive "fuck" before letting go of his elbow and smiling at the guy nervously. "Dick. What a surprise. I didn't know you would be here."

"Dick?" Dan repeated with an arched eyebrow but Danny swiftly stepped on his foot.

"Well Bruce thought it was about time again I attended one of the Galas with him again. You know how it is, don't you?" There was a glint in the other's eyes and Dan eyed him interested, the guy had some dirt on Danny. This was going to be interesting.

"Ah well yea, Vlad asked for me to come along too and someone got to represent my late parents too after all." Danny laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck and clearly avoiding direct eye contact.

"Represent your late parents?"

"Yea funny thing, my parents willed their company to me and-"

"I thought you said you were an engineer working for Dalv.Co? To think I told you about how I am with the Waynes and yet you never mentioned even once to me your relation to Masters." Dan blinked, okay so that guy was a friend Danny had made somehow outside of Sam and Tucker.

"I do! I do, it's just that… well... I can explain!"

"Fine, explain it to me."

Danny appeared to be a flustered mess while this Dick was staring at him with crossed arms. Dan watched them with fascination and a small amount of satisfaction at how Danny fumbled with his words. He then felt a tuck at his side and locked down to find Dani offering him popcorn.

"That's Dick Greyson." Something suddenly clicked for Dan and he smirked down at Dani.

"The guy that's teaching your Gymnastic course that Danny always volunteers to take you too?"

Dani nodded once more and now also sporting a mischievous smile.

[holllandtrash]

muse | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader

after stepping back from music following a bad break up and a label drop, y/n returns and is on the search for a new muse, you just never thought you'd find it in italy sabrina carpenter faceclaim - a lot of reading with this one im so sorry

there is a spotify playlist to go along with this au if you're wanting to listen to the songs used/mentioned throughout, listen here (i suggest it bc the lyrics of some songs are important hehe)

yourusername

liked by kendalljenner, sofiacarson and 571,392 others

yourusername thanks for letting me take some time away♡ new things are coming, stay tuned

view all 5,104 comments

sofiacarson we missed u

dovecameron welcome back b❤️❤️

ynismygf SHES BLONDE AND WE'RE GETTING NEW MUSIC? im screaming

happy4u if we get a break up album im gna use it as an excuse to break up w my boyfriend

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by zendaya, sofiacarson and 612,201 others

yourusername lately

view all 4,103 comments

zendaya 🔥🔥🔥🔥

ynfanclub girl drop the album

yourusername girl its been 2 weeks i dont have an album

yourusername

liked by dovecameron, scuderiaferrari and 412,049 others

yourusername when in italy...drop a new song for the first time in 8 months

view all 6,302 commens

dovecameron okay girly pop off

ynfanclub I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GETTING A BREAK UP ALBUM

yourusername ITS JUST ONE SONG ynfanclub IM SCREAMING

ynismommy italy is good for her, i support this

yourusername added to their story

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 653,092 others

tagged: scuderiaferrari

yourusername these last few days have been incredible, thank you italy for being so welcoming and thank you scuderia ferrari for allowing me to sing a few old songs on stage to celebrate your old company

view all 5,023 comments

scuderiaferrari anytime 🫡🫡

charles_leclerc see you in the paddock?

yourusername what is a paddock formulayn charles is flirting with her and she has no idea

dovecameron shes baaaack👀👀 we except an album soon

yourusername hehe

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 731,029 others

yourusername new music may come sooner than we thought

view all 4,103 comments

goldenyn SHE FOUND A MUSE SHES BACK TO WRITING

formulayn i bet you ANYTHING its charles, y/n probably took one look at him and was like yep i could write 10 songs about you no problem

yourbestfriend the flowers...👀 girl call me

yourusername added to their story

paddockupdates

liked by formulayesterday, yourusername and 104,102 others

paddockupdates Y/N L/N sporting an all red attire at Circuit of the Americas!! Guess that week in Italy really did turn her into a Ferrari Fan

view all 1,023 comments

yourusername i love sports

liked by charles_leclerc

charr16 love to see her at the races but also..bestie...we need more music

formulayn Y/N is at a race i repeat, y/n iS AT THE RACE

charles_leclerc 📍circuit of the americas

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 541,850 others

charles_leclerc P1 and Fastest Lap 👊🏁 What an incredible race❤️

view all 7,130 comments

scuderiaferrari ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

yourusername gooooo charles !!

formulayn girl just say you love him its okay we all do

teamcharles maybe y/n is the teams good luck charm, she should go to more races

yourusername i agree

charles_leclerc added to their story

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, zendaya and 673,102 others

yourusername woman of the hour ep...drops friday

view all 4,204 comments

formulayn im really reading into the whole red theme a bit too much

leclerrspaddock same

dovecameron i've been waiting for this one

charles_leclerc can't wait

liked by yourusername

yourusername

liked by sofiacarson, charles_leclerc and 635,208 others

yourusername happy woman of the hour release day ♡ thank you to the fans who have been so patient and supportive throughout my entire break (and my return to the studio) thank you to my friends for deleting numbers and blocking the pages i couldn't bring myself to and thank you to my muse❤️ i can't wait to write more songs about you in the future

view all 6,312 comments

charles_leclerc this is my favourite album

sofiacarson ❤️❤️❤️❤️

formulayn IS THAT CHARLES IN THE LAST PIC i can't breath

scuderiaferrari already added to our garage playlist🫡

liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari and 650,920 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc woman of the hour

view all 7,308 comments

yourusername thank you for being my muse❤️

charles_leclerc anytime

pierregasly does this mean we get tickets to her concert

yourusername only if charles wins the wdc

formulayn so they met that first week in italy and fell in love and have just been secretly dating this whole time...cool cool cool cool cool🥹

goldenyn im glad she put her energy into charles instead of a break up album🥺🥺 y/n deserves to be happy

scuderiaferrari mom and dad

liked by yourusername and charles_leclerc

masterlist here

[thejockout]

Subject Diaries #0.5 - Jockout the Subject, Part 2

(okay this is the last edging post of this series lol)

Last time I discussed my history/beliefs around masculinisation and erotic TF hypnosis, just to give a foundation of how I think about this stuff.

NOW to get into the slightly juicier details; what am I into, and what have I achieved so far with hypnosis?

WELL. What I'm into is an interesting question; and it's changed a lot in the last 2-3 years. If you'd asked me then what I was into, the answer was a fairly limited range of hypnosis: I was into "dumb jock" style brainwashing... and not much else. I didn't do a lot with either sub/dom-coded files, and had yet to discover several of my major kinks! It's kind of weird looking back at how little I used to be into, tbh. But I feel like that's often the way with kinks, they kinda spread over time.

For hypnosis, my current core interests are the following:

Masculinisation - specifically shit like changes in media consumption, physical mannerisms like manspreading or gait, and attitude adjustments. This blurs the line with the next point, but really just covers the whole gamut of a "bro" or "jock" type personality, and is the primary thing I've been into for years.

Dumbing Down - this was a kink I was very on again/off again with for a while before finding my balls and embracing it wholeheartedly. Like many subs, I used to really fear being "Permanently Dumbed Down" and losing skills and traits I need for work/my ambitions. But that's not a realistic fear and not really how hypnosis works, so now I embrace it pretty wholeheartedly. Nothing hotter than coming out of trance unable to spell or think straight. I love seeing the changes in my communication that come from it, and the actual feeling of hypnosis-induced brain fog. (And, being seen as a dumbass is a big kink too, and a nice ongoing goal.) Also included here is the whole subcategory of like, wanting to be malleable and easily hypnotisable, wanting to be someone who drops like a stone and is super impacted by suggestion. I've got some friends who come to mind when I talk about that, and it's always hot to see how easily they sink.

Corruption - this is sort of a broader, underpinning kink to the rest of the stuff I'm into; but it's a desire I have to want to be changed, to have someone coy and sly and sneaky manipulate me into changing in ways most would consider "for the worse." Making me dumber, more single-minded, more narcissistic, more self-indulgent. Fuck, bro. I get off on the idea of someone making me into their personal monster... especially if it goes a little too far from their POV and they can't walk it back. This underpinning desire for corruption is sort of what fuels my love of Dumbing Down and, in recent years, super Dom-coded Toxic Alpha type hypno generally. It's play I think you need to be careful with, but I've been having a good time so far and don't think I'd have ever started making files like Brute if I hadn't gone in that direction myself.

I listen to files outside these three themes, but generally they need to have at least one for me to be into them, and the best tick all three boxes.

I briefly listed a few files I'd listened to a bunch in my previous Diaries post; those being Jack Drago's Masculine Conditioning series, Avis' Sapiens general catalog, and Rigsby's Absolute Jock. I've probably listened to 100s of hours of both the MC-series and Avis' work. My time on Absolute Jock was a looot lower, but tis the best of the old guard of jock files on WarpMyMind. Overall, it's a lot of time to have dedicated to this kinda hypno! So you'd expect to see some results, right?

...Yeeeahhh, well, I'm still kind of a Work In Progress on that front. I have seen results, but I held myself back with anxiety and overthinking (about hypnosis) for years of this, so I've really only started to show change in the last year or so. That being said, the years of repeated conditioning have done a number on me lol.

EFFECTS I'VE SEEN

Successful Media Brainwashing - I did the unthinkable and successfully made myself a sports fan via hypnosis. It's kinda weird. For years I really struggled to even get through a game; then with hypnosis, I gradually started to just get suuper horny when I watched sports instead, which wasn't really any better because I'd just jerk off and lose interest. But sometime in the last two years, I kinda just got into it gradually and now watch for authentic, general interest. This was a real pipe dream at 17 when I envied how all the jock-types in my class could be totally absorbed and single-minded watching or playing a game, but I ended up getting there in the end! Not American so don't watch American Football/basketball/baseball or whatever, but I like rugby/hurling/F1 ✌️I credit this to Jack Drago's work, specifically Files 2 and 4 of the MC series; Manly Media Bubble and Male Oriented Interests.

General Personality Change - this is a WIP suggestion, but it's been interesting seeing myself change over the last 12 months especially. I've become a lot more dominant, confident, cocky, and even self-centered especially in online kink type contexts. IRL, I've just become more dominant and less willing to take shit; but that's only ever a good thing. It's interesting Because the nature of this kind of change, which happens so slowly over time, is that it can be difficult to look back and see the points where you used to behave differently. But sometimes like... especially since doing Douchebag-type files, sometimes I'll criticise someone or make fun of something and get a surprised reaction from a friend who wasn't expecting me to take it that far. And it always makes me feel a little good to surprise them in that way, to violate their expectations of how Nice I should be. I'm always Nice to them, and to anyone decent, but you've really gotta make me WANT to treat you well to get that now. Some people will read this and feel annoyed, or roll their eyes, but I kinda don't care. It's what I'm into. It's what I've GOTTEN into. (It's all Avis' fault really tbh.)

Libido Increase - this was a slow creeping change overtime, but went from getting off maybe 1x a day/5x a week or so to probably getting off 3x a day currently. Got a lot better at thinking with my dick and am super easy to make horny, which helps feed into the next suggestion on the list;

Dumbing Down - this is the suggestion I've had the MOST recent breakthrough with. For the month of January, I listened daily to @hyphyphurray's Muscle Boy file, interspersed with his Happy Horny Himbo and @avissapiens' Intellect Drain. Dumbing Down was always something I'd struggled to conceptualise hypnotically, but I had a perspective shift this month as to what dumbing FEELS LIKE on an ongoing basis. While under some mild post-trance haze, I wrote this snippet about it in preparation for the post a week ago:

(Don't worry, I'll summarise it.)

The tl;dr of that message is that I realised "permanent" dumbing would feel less like brain fog/tipsiness, and more like apathy towards intellectual topics. It's a priority shift, or a behavioural change; not a magic finger plucking facts out of your brain so you forget the answers. It's sort of like it just fucks with your desire to know things/answer questions instead. The information might still be there, if you hunt; but why would you? Who cares, bro? Does it even matter?

Since making that perspective shift, it's like a few years of dumbing has crept in all at once, and it's been super interesting. I'm not going to over dramatise it (I'm desperate NOT to become an RP-type blog with this) because in contexts like writing, schoolwork, etc., I think just as clearly and easily. But in leisure contexts, in hypnosis, just in chatting with bros... I feel that intellectual apathy creep in allll the time. Trying to think of an answer to something and just giving up two seconds in, because "it's easier not to think about it." Trying to remember something and quitting because "if it was that important, I'd have remember." Letting my typos and message flubs sit because "they can figure it out lol" and not over analysing whether everything I say is totally coherent or rich.

I understand the irony of me speaking in huge depth about this here, when what I'm saying is that I'm thinking less. But like I said, it's kinda contextual. If anyone was interested, I'd consider writing a hornier post under the influence of trance sometime so the difference can be seen, but right now... I'm just taking this a little more formally, I guess? Idk, I'm torn between wanting it to be pseudo-educational and also just having made myself horny writing so much about dumbing, and when I'm horny I REALLY feel that haze start to creep in and I kinda wanna just stop this an edge or something and go do anything else that's more fun 🥴

So in the spirit of the post, I'm gonna go do that.

JANUARY WRAP-UP

For the month of January, most of what I listened to were Hyphyphurray's files listed above (the number in green = the number of times I listened to them). They are paid files, but they're well worth the price, and I recommend them to anyone into this shit. I also listened to Avis' Intellect Drain 5-6 times as a supplement because I love how that just makes my brain turn off for a while.

Not sure atm what I'm gonna listen to through February, I've bounced between Muscle Boy and Avis' Toxic Douchebag Alpha a few times so far but will likely commit to one track for the month.

-------

This is post #2 of my broader Subject Diaries series, a blog series I plan to maintain on a fortnightly/monthly basis updating people on what I've been listening to, files I've been enjoying, and effects I've been experiencing. When I'm not trancing, I'm usually off being a mystical forest bro in the wilderness of Ireland, but I am always available for commissions here on Tumblr/Soundcloud if you reach out via DM. My flat rate is currently $55-80, but you can always check my pinned post for more up-to-date info. You can also support me with a one-time tip either via Paypal or Ko-Fi, but you'll have to DM for the first.

[osleeplessflowero]

Sans doesn't know how many minutes he'd spent in a sealed off room of the lab, keeping the door shut, staring at it with trembling eyelights and hands. When Alphys told him the recent project had..gone awry, he hadn't expected things to turn out this bad.

Raising a shaky hand, he pushes his glasses up further onto his face so they don't fall. He'd already been scolded once by his younger brother for breaking the last pair by accident.. don't need a repeat of that.

Experimenting with souls had been a common theme the last few months to see how well they'd do under different conditions, but..this attempt? It's..

He hears banging on the door, likely someone's hands along with the sounds of something slithering across the floor. Wet, goopy noises can also be heard accompanied by strange, out-of-sync breathing. ..It knows where he is. He doesn't know what it wants to do with him, and frankly, he's scared to find out.

A walkie talkie beeps on his belt. He quickly grabs it out of instinct, almost dropping it in the process as he holds it up to where he can hear from.

"alphys, i hope you are responding to tell me you are going to lure it away from me." He speaks in a hushed tone, knowing it's still listening outside.

"I-I'm making my way down there now, Sans. I.. I don't know what happened, they're.. it's just like the Determination projects-" Alphys fidgets around as she scurries through her lab, picking up this and that and dropping anything unimportant in the moment.

"I-I don't.. kn-know what their Intent is. If you end up exposed, PLEASE be careful. One bad hit and you're dust!" She stresses her words despite her stuttering, opening the door to the elevator and heading down.

"don't gotta tell me twice. i'm staying in here." He'd considered shortcutting, but..he's still gotta help her study this entity, even if he doesn't really want to get near it. No calling it quits now. ..He's still going to keep a door as a barrier though, just to be safe.

Several different pitches of giggles are heard through the door as the entity lightly hits it in the same spots, until it manages to make a dent. Letting out a breath, Sans walks over to the monitors in the room to look outside through the cameras. Empty rooms are scattered about on each one, able to be viewed from different angles.

He looks over to see this strange mass outside via the door camera.

A large, white mess of a form wriggles and writhes, its upper half constantly changing between various physical forms and species types. Two arms rest on the door gently, while two more above them seem to be the ones hitting it. Its eyes are black hollow voids with every form change, the one thing that remains consistent. Upon zooming in a little more, Sans can see a little melty smile on its face.

He can't help but wonder what it could possibly be thinking..or what it's trying to do. Turning to the door, he contemplates. He could Check them.. there's not that much of a distance. Might as well, right?

He focuses on the door, his eyelights flickering out before one returns with a bright, brilliant shade of blue. His focus is brought to its soul, a bright, vibrant mess of colors and static, constantly shifting forms. There are some different colored strings coming out of it in different directions. Guess this is what happens when you try experimenting on something distorted..

Okay..that part's kinda obvious. But why do they want to see him?

Another sound is heard from his walkie talkie, so he holds it up.

"how close are you?" "Very, I-I should be able to get down there in a few more minutes. C-Can you hold off until then?" "yeah, just please hurry up."

Alphys stops responding, so he turns back to the cameras, only to see the mass looking up at it with a widened grin. He jolts, only to see a bigger dent be formed in the door from the impact of its hits..

"they're gonna break it down at this rate-"

Some white, goopy hands begin to pull on the bottom of the door to try and lift it. He quickly rushes over, trying to pull it back down. "shit shit shit shit-" "Sans, I'm almost there! Oh my stars, why is it?-"

It pulls open the door with all of its strength, launching itself into the room. Sans braces himself for impact, his eyes squeezing shut. ..But..he doesn't take a hit? What's going on?

He opens his eyes, looking both up and down as the figure rapidly changes shapes, hugging him tightly. Clinging to him, like if they were to let go they'd be lost.

"uh..hey there." He chuckles nervously, confused by this whole scenario. One bizarre thing after another.. "so..is this what you wanted the whole time?"

It nuzzles its heads against him, its smile content.

"taking that as a yes. well, uh..i guess this is okay. have i melted your heart? hearts? same thing."

Various giggles come out of "You", as Alphys enters the room abruptly.

"Sans! Are you-" She halts, seeing how the mass is reacting to him so...affectionately? How peculiar. "..Are you okay?"

"well, i think so. they haven't lashed out at me or anything, just..done this. feels kinda weird, very cold."

"Well, at l-least they don't have a Hostile intent..this..this could prove useful! Tests could go by a lot easier if it trusts you. And it seems to really like you already, s-so.."

"how would you feel about me stickin' around?" He asks, "You" perk up instantly at that. "you like the sound of that?"

He's suddenly squeezed much tighter as those voids on your face shift to be shaped like hearts. "i guess i have my answer."

"Have you Checked them at all?" "huh? oh, yeah, i did earlier." "What does their soul look like in the current state?" "well, it's a flashing mess of colors and distortion. also had some weird looking strings coming out of it." "..Strings?" "yeah. different colors as well." "Did you see where they were leading?" She walks over, putting a hand on "Your" shoulder before recoiling once you let out a sound of warning.

"well, a few were leading to me, but a few were spreading off in different directions, too." "..Oh my stars." "what? what's wrong?" "I think I might need to look over your soul." "why?" "Just..trust me, okay?"

[basil-does-arttt]

Devil May Cry 2. The pimple-faced teenager of the series, widely regarded as the worst game in the franchise.

While yes i agree with this viewpoint to some degree, and i think all the jokes about it being the worst one are funny... i honestly dont think the game is THAT bad. In fact, i think people give it too much shit.

Ill start out by saying this: no, the game isnt amazing. Its under-developed, rushed, and in no way is it up to the same standard as the other 4 games. Im not saying its this perfect game, but its not as horrible as some make it out to be.

Ive played through the game on the original PS2 version and the remastered version, and although im yet to complete Lucia's campaign, i can confidently say the game is mediocre at worst really.

First the gameplay: Boring? Yes. Definitely. Do you like standing in one place and shooting everything for 15 minutes untill it drops dead? This is the game for you. But you dont have to do that, it just happens to be the easiest option because the controls are so jank. I spent (some) time myself learning the combos, turns out it depends on the way you angle the joystick, and once you get the hang of it, its not that difficult to S rank combat encounters at all. Its annoying, but not impossible, and the combos can honestly look pretty cool imo.

The movement is also another thing, the dodge animation takes way too long to perform but i do like the forward dash. Its a nice alternative to using stinger as a makeshift movement dash, i wish they kept it for furture versions of Dante. (Yes i know theres the trickster dash, but he doesn't do a flip)

I also really love the flying mechanic with aerial heart, and the different kinds of core thingies you could combine as a whole. A unique feature that kinda got combined into other things in Dante's design.

A few of the bosses, if they had been fleshed out and maybe balanced a bit better, could've been just amazing too. Furiataurus for example. One boss i feel was done well though was The Despair Embodied, and although you can just stand around and shoot it to death like everything else, you do actually have to put effort in to not get hit and die. (Trismalga is also kinda in that boat too, a well(ish) done fight you actually have to put effort into, but i personally didn't like it.)

Next, level design: You have to admit they did some cool things with the level design. *some*. The whole "grungy city" vibe is something i found very interesting, and the trippy purple iteration of lower town was, while infuriating to navigate thanks to the camera and graphics (esp on the ps2 version), was actually quite neat. I also really liked the clock tower in Lucia's campaign.

And also, the music. Can i just say, i think dmc 2's soundtrack is my favorite one out of all 5 games. The ambient background tracks are almost dreamy, especially Lucia's ones, the boss themes honestly go hard and the piano track that's repeated throughout the whole soundtrack just sounds good. If you take anything away from this post, its that you should listen to the soundtrack. (I reccomend the tracks "Unholy Relics", "Cry for the Moon", and "Shoot the Works")

The character designs are another thing i think they did well in this game. In my humble opinion, Dante's dmc 2 style is the best looking one in the whole series. Lucia also looks quite cool, her devil trigger form especially.

The characters themselves, Dante especially, need work, but might i remind you the developers were rushed when making this game. They didn't have enough time to do everything they wanted to do, 6 months before the game was supposed to release they didn't even have it in working condition. It was only thanks to Itsuno stepping in as the director that we got this game in the first place, and all he could do was salvage what the team had already created and get it in a releasable state before launch.

If only they had a bit more time (and maybe resources), dmc 2 couldve been quite the cool game. Though, on that note, if it werent for dmc 2's catastrophic faliure and Itsuno's prompt pestering for a sequel so the franchise didn't die outright, we wouldn't have gotten dmc 3. Though i think Capcom would've made a 3rd game regardless of the scenario.

All in all, i dont think dmc 2 is that horrible of a game. If you have the remaster collection, or even the original PS2 version, at least try it. Give it a go, play through the first few missions and kill one or two of the bosses.

Don't take it seriously, just have fun and enjoy the game in all its janky half-finished glory. If you look at dmc 2 that way, i think you'll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Or dont. Yknow, its your choice.

[zabala0z]

Listened to 3 today instead of 2 like I planned! Worth it. Anyways, welcome back, yada, yada, I’m here again YIPEE

MAG 52: exceptional risk

Oh shit Robert Montauk is back. the guy who visited him was Maxwell Rayner and I did write down from previous episodes he was like a defrocked Pentecostal minister (hell he do???) and had that cult grow around him. Also the last name Rayner was mentioned in The Piper, Joseph Rayner tags or something. The whole, bulbs flickering and crappy water, at least my assumption, seems to be like in response. I’m assuming the thing that murdered Maxwell which then scared the shit out of his daughter in A Fathers Love and possibly killed her mom. I think Robert did something to try and get rid of that creature which is Maxwell came and did his ominous speech or whatever

MAG 53: crusader

Gertrude!!! No notes on this episode but I know eyes are like a super common theme in the magnus archives, I’ve seen some vague fanart so I’ll keep an eye for that. Sorry.

MAG 54: Still Life

Daniel Rawlings was one of the people who disappeared in Anglerfish near Old Fishmarket Close. The thing that was in his basement was also described very similarly to the thing in the alleyway. Swaying motion, a monotone voice, repeating the same sentence again, and again. Not only that Daniel disappeared the same year as Sarah Baldwin, who we were already, unfortunately, introduced to. I know he has like a completely different appearance but I dunno. It’s creepy. ALSO, there were those 2 men with cockney accents and when Jon got delivered those packages in season 1, Martin described them with cockney accents. So I’m assuming they are the same.

MAG 55: Pest Control

Jane Prentiss mention. Thought we’d be done with her when she’s now ash but I guess not 💀 (<- Jane) anyways, apparently John Amherst got an appearance. Doing some calculating, I think him in MAG 55 was before Taken Ill. I think. One thing I noticed looking back at Taken Ill was that Nicole didn’t want to touch the bell because there was this oily residue on it, the same oily residue on the door to his house when Jordan knocked on it. Also the landlord from Jane’s statement is here. Did not expect him to sacrifice himself. Clearly he knows a lot and maybe knew what that “wasps” nest was all about. He had that scar too. So far I can’t find anything connecting with that scar but everything (everyone) is going up in flames in this podcast I swear.

MAG 56: Children of the Night

I was actually going to end this post at Pest Control but I saw TREVOR was giving this statement so I had to listen. Anyways. Uh. Rest in peace that human he killed 🫡. The lady that had spiders come out was interesting. Lot of spiders in this podcast.

Also Jon seems really stressed like he needs a nice nap and maybe some like book to calm him down. I jumped and he wasn’t even yelling at me 😭 personally I would not let that slide. also Martin mentioned his mom having problems so he dropped out and I think his moms problems were based in the supernatural in some way. No basis for that.

One other thing, I saw that the title of this episode is like…slightly similar to the thing Gertrude referenced in Crusaders. “Those who sing the night “children of the night”. I guess only night is mentioned and it could be a coincidence but I’m keeping that in mind just in case.

Anyways that’s all my thoughts!! I see the next episode is something about space. It is currently 10:12 PM and it’s pitch black so I’m definitely not listening to that tonight.

[musings-of-a-rose]

Here is my Benny idea. He gets worried his baby work nights. Reason why he takes her to and from work. Go out to their favorite hangout for a late dinner. Then spoil her as soon they get home.

Take Care of You

Pairing: Benny Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 1100+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Thank you for being so patient while I wrote this!

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

I never understood why Benny insisted on taking me to and from work. I thought his concerns about me working night shifts were silly and there really was no need to make such a fuss.

Until that lady was mugged, barely making it out with her life.

Benny never did the “I told you so bit”, only relived I had the night off that day. If he wasn’t insistent before he is now, arranging his own schedule so he can bring me to work and drop me off.

One night, he notices the extra exhaustion in my eyes, my shoulders slumping from a particularly difficult shift, and he quietly steers his jeep to one of our favorite late-night diners. 

“I figured you could use a burger and fries. Maybe a milkshake?” His blue eyes are full of concern as they scan my face.

“I fucking love you, Benny.”

He chuckles. “I love you too, sweetheart. Come on.”

He escorts me inside and orders 2 giant bacon cheeseburgers with a large basket of fries, getting me my favorite milkshake. He listens to me vent about my day, nodding and making helpful comments when I manage to pause my rant. 

Once we get home, I kick off my shoes, groaning at the instant relief I feel. Benny comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head. 

“Why don’t I fill you a bath?”

I groan again at the thought of submerging my body into a hot tub. 

He chuckles. “I take that as a yes.”

He kisses me again and heads down the hall to the bathroom, the sound of water filling the tub floating down the hall a minute later. I follow him, watching as he tests the water, adding a homemade bath bomb to it and giggling when the water turns a fun color. When the bath is full, he turns to me, gently helping me out of my work clothes, his fingers brushing lightly against my skin leaving goosebumps in their wake. His lips brush against the spot where my neck meets my shoulder and I shiver, letting out a quiet moan. He holds out his hand and helps me in the tub, making sure I settle down into it, my entire body submerged, head resting on the little neck pillow he’d insisted on buying. 

He grabs my loofah and soap, eyebrows raised in question at me, a silent ask if I want him to wash me. The warm bath water is seeping into me, making me feel lazy. I nod, leaning my head back a little further on the bath pillow. Benny lathers up my loofah and takes my hand, giving the back of it a little kiss before he starts to gently scrub my hand and up my arm, repeating the motion on my other side. He scoots back reaching down into the water to pull up my foot, gently setting it down on the side of the tub. He grips my foot, fingers applying some semi firm pressure as he massages the stress away. I can’t help the moans that escape me, missing the way Benny squirms where he sits. 

“Oh God Benny! That feels so good.”

He hums to himself and I crack and eye open to see a smile on his face, eyes focused half on my foot and half on my boobs as they poke out of the water. He repeats his massaging on my other foot, earning himself more praise as he works the knots out. He picks up my loofah, lathering it up and starts to gently scrub at my foot, moving slowly up and around my leg. He gets to the spot where my thighs meets my hips and pauses, glancing up at me before he slides the loofah over my cunt, putting slightly more pressure as he gently moves in circles. I moan, my hips moving up to meet the pressure, but the loofah is in the way of what I really want to feel. Reaching out, I still his wrist, an apology forming on Benny’s lips as I pull the loofah from his grip, setting it off ot the side. I take his hand and place it back on me, returning my arms to their original place of leisure. 

Benny understands what I’m asking for and immediately starts to slide a finger through my folds, softly rubbing circles into my clit as he does so. I groan, trying to shift my hips a little closer, but then he pushes 2 fingers into me and I sigh, his name on my lips as he curls his long fingers, seeking out that spot that makes my toes curl. He finds it fast, tapping lazily on the spot while still rubbing circles into my clit. The warmth of my impending release spreads through me rapidly, my head pushing into the pillow as my legs tremble, a soft cry of pleasure escaping me as Benny pushes me over the edge, still gently caressing those spots he knows will make me feel good. 

Once I’m down, Benny removes his hand, moving to grab the loofah and lather it up, washing my other leg, pausing to massage my foot there too. A soft smile plays on his lips as he keeps glancing up at me, his smile growing wider as he watches my heavy breathing. He takes his time, washing the rest of me and giving me one of the best scalp massages I’ve ever had. When he’s done, he empties the bath, helping me to stand and get out of the tub, which I’m thankful for because my legs are made of jelly at this point. 

He helps me into some pajamas, chuckling darkly when the towels brushes across my oversensative core and I twitch. I slide into bed, Benny pulling the covers up my body, leaning over to kiss the top of my head before he turns, starting to walk away.

“Wait - where are you going?” I ask, my hand reaching out for him. 

“You want me with you, sweetheart?”

I nod. “I need…”

Benny smiles. “Do you need some buddles?” (Benny Cuddles)

I chuckle at his made up name. “Yes please.”

Benny slides into bed, pulling me to him, practically purring as I burrow into his chest, inhaling the scent of him. Immediately I feel the last bit of stress melt away, and before I know it, I’m asleep. 

Benny pets my hair, somehow managing to lean over and kiss the top of my head, speaking into my ear how much he loves me.

—----

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[atiny-for-life]

Golden Hour feels different and I think I know why...

This album feels a lot less cohesive than all others they've ever released. I'm by no means saying it's bad or you shouldn't enjoy it or support the comeback, but it's still something noteworthy.

They said they were really happy making this album, which is amazing and I'm glad they've been enjoying all the new opportunities they've been getting, but when I listen to most of these songs, I feel like we' we've been given a folder from the producer's computer with all the leftover/unfinished tracks, and I think I may know why that is.

First, I wanna say what I mean by the album being less cohesive: Ateez are big on concept albums. The songs tell a story, they're connected, both conceptiually and lyrically, even as we switch genres. Look to the Fever and World Series where you can track the themes even without knowing about their storyline.

Ateez are also famous for their cinematic songs - Inception, Answer, Guerrilla, Halazia - the instrumentals are layered, interwoven, it feels like you're on a journey as you listen to it. You start in one place and don't know where you're headed until you get there. They're full of unique instruments, random noises, hidden harmonies from Maddox and the vocal line. It's art.

And now move on to Blind, Work, Shaboom, and it's one beat in the back that switches up as we move along but there's nothing new to notice on repeat listens, nothing remarkable to pick out. Wooyoung summed it up as "easy listening" in their KStar Next Door interview. Lyrically, Work is also a lot more repetitive which is something Ateez historically stayed clear of because Mingi and Hongjoong especially are very invested in the writing process and want the songs to have meaning.

Proving my point, they mentioned during the Preview Live that Mingi and Hongjoong worked more on Empty Box and Siren, with Siren even being a contender for the title track and Empty Box being their collective favorite and, hey, look at that, those two are the only songs on the album which are a lot more complex on all fronts, a lot more similar to their usual approach to music.

Looking at the bigger picture, I absolutely don't think it was laziness which led to the slight drop in quality. I think KQ just has a pre-planned release schedule where everything is organized so they can squeeze in comeback promotions between tour schedules and, this time, they had to find a way to squeeze in Coachella, which is an opportunity you simply cannot turn down and they made a judgment call and decided to take preparation time away from the album.

Regardless of how Ateez felt about this, they worked their asses off, and while they're already in the US, they attend interviews, take extra classes, film the music video etc. and thus, weeks of album preparations are now spent on Coachella-related schedules. As a result, there ultimately just wasn't enough time to hole up in the studio as much as they normally would've which, as a performer, must be a whole lot more fun, but isn't so great when you're just a listener.

The Edenary team is still responsible for most of the songs, of course, but they're now also working for Xikers which is likely possible because Hongjoong now has years of experience under his belt and can compose full songs or add finishing touches himself whenever needed while also working on Xikers' music on occasion - we've seen him credited multiple times.

On top of that, they also used a live band at Coachella, meaning their songs had to be translated to acoustic which was most likely fully Edenary's doing and also took them away from preparing for this comeback.

These days, their albums aren't as pre-prepared anymore as they used to be a couple of years ago when we still got song teasers at the end of tracks several comebacks in advance. They've caught up by now, as we've been able to see in behind the scenes footage of Hongjoong in the studio and from his interview with Changkyun from Monsta X (I.M on the Beat) where he largely talked about working on The World - Ep Fin. which was clearly still fresh in his mind.

Normally, this wouldn't be a downside at all, but it does make scheduling conflicts like this something to be cautious about, especially looking back to how exhausted they (and most other K-pop artists) always are between December and February every single year when all the award shows come together.

Whether I'm right or not, I don't know and can't prove, but I think it makes a lotta sense and would explain some things. Either way, watching them perform Work is still fun and it's lovely to see them so happy and thriving, but I do think there'll be a noticable difference when the next album drops without any surprise schedules throwing things off course.

[thisfrailheart]

prompt: limb | july 6 | jegulus au | suggestive and mature themes, swearing | word count: 773 | @jegulus-microfic

***

"Hi, I'm James. Marlene's out sick, so you're stuck with me today."

He's in hell, Regulus is sure of it. This is punishment. Cause he definitely wants to be stuck with that man somewhere. Preferably not at physical therapy, though. And without those horrible gym shorts in the way.

"Regulus?"

Regulus tears his gaze away. James is looking at him expectantly and he realizes he wasn't listening at all. "I'm sorry?"

"Can we get started?," James repeats with an easy smile and Regulus is sweating.

He swallows, nods. "Yeah. Mhm. Yes."

James claps his hands and moves a bit closer to the massage table Regulus is sitting on. "Awesome. Are you comfortable with me touching you?"

So comfortable. So fucking comfortable. "Ungh-"

"Pardon?" Fuck fuck fuck.

"Uh-huh, yes. Definitely. Go for it." What the hell am I saying. James seems a bit confused as well but does reach for the arm Regulus holds out to him. James' hands are pleasantly cold against his overheating skin and Regulus shivers.

James' brow is furrowed as he assesses Regulus' wrist and forearm with deft fingers. "Any pain? Soreness?"

That cologne you're wearing is agony, actually. Sweet, sweet agony. "None."

"How about range of motion? How does it feel? Any issues with tightness?"

"Never had any complaints." WHAT.

James freezes. "Sorry?"

Uh-oh. Regulus coughs. "I don't have any complaints."

James nods and continues, but his gaze lingers a bit and there's a drop of sweat trickling down between Regulus' shoulder blades.

"Can you push against my hand? Yes. Now a bit harder?" LORD.

"Make a fist for me? Yes, just like that. That's good." It is. It really is.

When James finally steps back, his scent lingers right there for a few seconds and Regulus actually has to bite back a moan.

"Alright. The healing process is going well, from what I can tell. You're definitely on track and should be right as rain in no time. I'd like to do some strengthening exercises and finish off with some stretches. How does that sound?"

"Brilliant!," Regulus says and it comes out a bit too loud and a bit too forceful and he blushes. But James laughs.

"I like the enthusiasm. A lot of people are quite peeved about being here. And rightfully so. Who wants broken bones?," he shrugs and hands Regulus a variety of brightly colored balls to squeeze. "But PT after a fracture or trauma is really very important to hopefully avoid long-term issues. Not that you have to worry about that. You'll have your arm back soon."

James switches him to another exercise and Regulus almost drools when the man demonstrates and the veins in his arm pop.

"I don't miss it. I'm left-handed so I don't really use it anyway," Regulus babbles, unable to stop the word vomit.

A grin from James and Regulus' heart flips in his chest. "It's good that you're not struggling too much while you're healing. But you should still take care of your non-dominant hand, especially a broken one. Never know when you might need it." And when he reaches for Regulus' hand and guides him through the stretches to end their session, Regulus has to bite his tongue to keep the whine from tumbling past his lips. "Hmm, exactly like that. Slow down a bit. Yes. Very good."

Blood is rushing in Regulus' ears and threatening to rush other places, too. He's actually thinking about throwing himself down the stairs at home and hoping for the worst. Broken leg, maybe? Might also go all out and try to lose a limb. Longer recovery time.

What the hell am I even thinking. I'm worse than Sirius when he met that teacher and wanted to go back to uni.

"Earth to Regulus?"

"Huh? I mean…sorry?" Get a grip, god.

"We're done for today. Your next session will be with Marlene, as per usual. I hope I won't see you here again," James says and it sounds like something he tells patients but he fucking winks before he ducks out of the room.

Regulus grins. We'll see about that.

Six weeks later and Regulus is demonstrating just how well his wrist has healed by shoving his hand into James' jeans in the alley behind the club. "Thought you didn't want to see me again?"

"Not as…a patient," James pants, breath hot on Regulus' face.

"No?" A quick twist and James moans.

"Definitely— Definitely not."

"Good to know. But I might still need your professional help."

James' blinks, immediately concerned. "What's wrong? Is it your wrist?"

Regulus smirks. "My wrist is fine. I'm about to ruin my knees, though."

[kdyism]

FUDUEHECONFESSED.m4a | PAIRING. DOYOUNG X READER, GENRE + THEMES. f2l, accidental-confession!au WARN. non

"Hey, can you—Doyoung, Kim Doyoung, can you repeat that for me?"

Pursing his lips, his blinkering eyes watch your phone, gently sizzling out the unstable audio from last night's recording. When you walked into the cafeteria with a flush as soon as your eyes landed on him, he thought it was odd that you were blushing before he even did something to set off your mind to haywire.

Coughing, he tries to stop you. "Uhh—I'm scared, don't play it," he said, his hands trying to snatch your phone away.

"No, you have to listen to it," you insist, pushing his hands prying hands away and you awkwardly smile at him, "Just listen, you need to hear it so you can jog your memory,"

Last night, you and doyoung decided to take a walk around the river side, and somehow, you guys snacked and drank till doyoung was no longer sober. You were used to his usual rambling, going on about his obsessions and his trouble, but then suddenly he paused and said something you knew he wouldn't believe himself. So you pulled out your phone and made him say it again.

"Hey, can you—Doyoung, Kim Doyoung, can you repeat that for me?"

He sighed into your phone, and you remember him clinging to your hands, "I said: I want to kiss you and hold your hands right now—but... but you don't even knooow," he slumped against you.

The warmth of his skin and breath still lingers on your shoulder. You stared at Doyoung carefully, and his face was a bright red. His fuse immediately blew as soon as his voice began sounding.

"What... don't I know?" you asked yesterday, lifting his face up gently.

"You don't know that I like you.... in a not friend way...

"You don't know that I have tried to tell you that at least three times, you don't know anything at all, you are so oblivious to me pulling moves, and like... didn't you see me try to kiss you on new years eve last year? and you let me off!! without even questioning me??? like???

"You... you really don't know anything,"

Present Doyoung's jaws drops, his skin losing colour, but a distinct shade of shyness still remained, "I have no idea what... what to even say..." he breathes out, dropping his face into his palms, and you just stare at him.

"I just need to know—" you abruptly stop yourself, taking a deep breath. Taking both his hands in yours, you continue, "I like you too. Should we start dating each other?"

©KDYISM, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED | permanent tags: @sungbeam @soobin-chois

yunn.txt — this is actually supposed to be the confession bit of a longer fic i intended to write like earlier this year but unfortunately, i now forgot what i was hoping the plot was and i also no longer want to think about what the plot was.

[fereldanwench]

just listened to the main theme for veilguard

the opening reminded me more of inon zur's compositions for DAO and DA2, especially the DAO main theme which i was digging

i do love the DAI soundtrack, it's one of the best parts of the game imo, but i felt like zur's work was always kind of underrated. like rogue heart is one of the prettiest pieces of music in the series (imo--everything is imo ofc). so kind of having that slower, darker build up i think suits the franchise overall and definitely gives a sense of the tone for the game (which apparently is supposed to be darker and grittier)

the DAI ost is just SO fucking epic, though. even now, every time i launch the game i let it play through a bit and bop to the percussion in the main theme. and i LOVE the inquisition marches--i used to listen to that before going to the gym because it'd get me so pumped up. i was also a fan of morris before DAI; i loved the tudor ost, especially the historic love piece

i have seen some criticism that the veilguard theme feels a little more generic fantasy, and i can hear that around the 3 min mark when it gets into what feels more like the ambient main menu music you'll really only hear when you get distracted getting a snack or something and don't launch the actual game in a normal span of time, lmao

the kind of frenetic setup into the end of the piece also loses me a bit, and i think would keep me from putting the full-length track on repeat or in playlists. it's not bad, i get the sense of urgency and high-stakes-ness they're going for, but i don't feel the need to listen to it constantly the way i did when the inquisition theme dropped

there are some games i'll intentionally let sit on the main menu for a bit before i go into the game because i like the music that much--cyberpunk, the outer worlds, andromeda, inquisition, to name a few--and i don't see that happening with veilguard. but it didn't happen with DAO or DA2 either so this definitely isn't some massive critique of it or anything. one of the few things i unabashedly love about DAI is the soundtrack so there were some big shoes to fill here

tl;dr - it's fine

[kimberrysunwoo]

Carnivals & Lollipops

pairing: boyfriend!yuhno x reader

genre: fluff

summary: you and yunho spend the day together at the amusement park

note: happy yunho day!! i was also listening to still with you by lee gong hi and yoo seung on repeat while writing this. hope you enjoy!

walking into the fair, immediately being pulled by your tall boyfriend, yunho, and straight into the gift shop. buying yourselves matching headbands and a giant lollipop.

“yunho, we don’t need two, one is already big enough” you said as he tries to push another lollipop into your hands.

“fine, but if we only get one then we have to share!” yunho said jumping around at the thought of being able to share a sweet treat with his partner.

getting out of the shop, your first stop: the carousel. before the ride began, both of you taking pictures on the horses with your lollipop and headbands plus silly selfies all throughout the ride. laughter emits from your boyfriend as you stumble to get off from being dizzy.

rollercoasters are a must with yunho, so you guys end up in a forty-five minute queue for the tallest attraction there. nevertheless, those forty-five minutes are well-spent as you guys finish off your shared lollipop and dance around. since yunho can’t seem to keep still from the excitement so he ends up back hugging you while walking in line.

once seated, obviously in the first seat, your hands are clasped super tightly. hearts pounding, once the drop comes both of you scream nonsense at the top of your lungs. when the ride comes to an end, both of you laughing at what you guys said in the case of if you guys didn’t make it.

“i can’t believe you said that you would rather resurrect as a worm! what made that even get in your head?”

“that’s because i know you would still love me if i was a-“ then your very serious conversation is interrupted because you had made it to the front of the line to the food court.

~

sinking into the chair of the cafeteria, feet finally getting to take a break and enjoying your refreshing slushy and food.

you take a break and walk around the beautiful theme park and going on silly rides such as the teacups and the pirate ship.

going home on the last bus of the day, while sharing earbuds with yunho was unbelievably calming and a great way to end your fun time together. being one of the very few people on the bus this late at night and watching the street lights zoom past your view. starting to feel drowsy, you slightly rest your head on yunho’s arm. eyes drooping shut, and dozing off with your boyfriend’s warmth radiating off of him.

“sleep well, my love.”

[fishnapple]

OMG, I love reading your detailed reaponses to the Tarot Ask Game! Lots of good and thought-provoking stuff. 🤩 If it's not done already or uncomfortable, can you give is your take on any of these? 👀 Thank you so much! 🥰 ✒️🦋 🌕🦉🍄🫧

Hi, how are you? Hope you're well 💓

Thank you for the questions and messages. 🥰

✒️ What’s a quote that sums up your philosophy?

“It’s a small world. It keeps recrossing itself. He who would do battle with the many-headed hydra of human nature must pay a world of pain & his family must pay it along with him! & only as you gasp your dying breath shall you understand, your life amounted to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean!” Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops? Cloud atlas - David Mitchell

There's a quote that talks about how the world, our lives, will repeat itself over and over again through many lifetimes in the same novel but it mentions su*cide so I will just quote a part of it here: "We do not stay dead long,[omitted], my birth, next time around, will be upon me in a heartbeat." It reflects my philosophy about the continuity of life and past lives.

Many things worked out as I planned them to, but that did not always prove of benefit to me. But almost everything developed naturally and by destiny. Memories, dreams, reflections - C.G Jung

This closely reflects the observation I have about life in general.

🦋 What advice would you give to someone just starting to learn tarot?

The short advice is to take it easy 😗

Learn the fundamentals and try to listen to your own intuition at the same time.

It will be different for each one of us, but in my case, books, fancy accessories, and numerous decks in your possession only served to distract me from really diving into Tarot. I find learning through direct experiences of reading, especially for other people, the most effective way. Also, watching how other readers do readings is also very educational.

Thinking about all the interpretations of each card can be intimidating, but if you group them by themes, I think it will be easier. The fool's journey, the meaning of each suit, the general meaning of each number, try to find the undercurrent similarities.

Like everything else, if you do it often enough, you will get used to it and get better at it.🕸

🌕 How do you connect with the energy of a querent before a reading?

I usually ask for their name (not initials) and their favourite colours, a scene they find beautiful so that I can build a mental image of them in my head. I'm a visual thinker so I can't think about something if I can't see it in my head. Then I will pick an object, usually a crystal to represent the querent and look at that object throughout the reading, imagine myself sitting across the querent. That's how I connect with a querent.

I have to admit that I don't feel sensations in my body like how some readers when they channel the energy of a querent and the reading. If I would describe my reading process in details, it would sound very mechanical, detached and lack the mystical or fantastical elements usually associated with divination 😅

🫧 How do you cleanse or recharge your tarot decks, if at all?

I sometimes put a Selenite crystal bar on top of the deck in good faith that the deck will be cleansed. But a part of me is quite sceptical about it. I keep my decks in separated pouches in my drawer to keep them out of light and heat and occasionally spread them on my bed to let them breathe some air.

I don't usually feel the need to cleanse my decks. Unless it was touched by someone else, then I would let it sit in a dark, open space, alone, just like how I myself would like to be when I need to recharge. An open space, cool air and darkness are good energy cleansing agents for me.

🦉Do you believe some people are gifted, and is that necessary to read tarot?

I think Tarot is like the art field or any other fields, some people will have an easier time grasping the system, do it faster, more distinctively. Some people are naturally more sensitive to energies, understand images intuitively, have the ability to articulate words in a way that flows. But that doesn't mean other people who don't have that natural disposition cannot do the same or better.

It boiled down to the mindset and how much interest you have for the subject. A curious and open mindset will make an accepting attitude towards many things, which will free the mind and the heart and let things flow more naturally, outward expression of this can be considered as natural talent. Giftedness may give you an initial boost but interest will give you fuel in the long run.

So no, I don't think you need to be gifted to read Tarot. You just need to be open to the idea of Tarot.

🍄 Do you use any tool, substance or technique to enhance the accuracy of your readings?

My tools and techniques are good sleep, well rested body, neutral state of mind and heart, good lighting and drinking lots of water.

My favourite motto when doing a reading: "first thought, best thought"

🪷

Get to know your Tarot reader - ask game

[planet-crait]

The website I’m watching for episode 3 does not have the intro, I am devastated. There are some theme songs I get not always wanting to listen to but this one is such a good one. This episode Clocks in at 11 minutes so it seems they’ll be sitting around there for the season. It’ll be interesting to see how they work with the shorter episode format in episodes moving forward.

I do like how the show continues the thread of Hazel struggling as the new kid and struggling to find her place and make friends. It’s realistic and as someone who was a new kid, I relate. Also I feel in my soul not knowing a popular trend others do and the sheer panic that comes with it. It just feels so real to me. So I do appreciate the writers including this stuff in the show so far.

Side note, why would everyone have to repeat the year if everyone doesn’t pass? Thats uh that’s a little insane to me. I feel bad for anyone who did work hard and should be able to move on being stuck because on kid is struggling.

Hazel connecting with her teacher was cute and is relatable. Sometimes new kids can’t connect peers, and connect with teachers easier. I know the moment passes quickly but I love the advice her teacher gives about finding her people. It is so real especially for neurodivergent people or people classified as “weird” knowing you don’t have to fit in with the main crowds and you’ll eventually find your people is advice I really could have used when I first moved and was struggling and it rings true still today. It’s better to just be yourself and find your people rather than trying to stuff yourself into a box you don’t really fit in.

Hazel not quite getting what Mr. Guzman (how do you spell his name?) was trying to tell her and thinks the teachers are her people when they really just aren’t was a really good and realistic moment. Kids want to think they’re way more mature then they are all the time especially when being outcast by their peers so it works and is very believable. And the magic math moment was kind of funny even if it’s never had to happen before it’s silly and fun.

We see Hazel go into the teachers lounge and while the teachers are immediately asking her to join them, the principal wasn’t affected because she’s not Hazels teacher, it’s a nice reminder that Hazel needs to be specific with her wishes. Also had to laugh at Hazel not wanting to befriend the principle because she’s too mean and instead makes the teachers lounge okay for students to be in. It’s funny and works well to ensure the stakes remain so the plot can move along.

The principle pushing so hard on maintaining the best score being “everyone passes” is insane to me. I went to a school that was the top school and even it had people fail. Maybe other states have schools where no one fails (I really doubt it) but this also is probably just a point simplified down to help raise the stakes later on in the episode.

I need to rewatch the original show to see if Timmy so blatantly talks to Cosmo and Wanda in front of people but with this framing it really stands out as odd since the principle is watching Hazel so closely right now. Either way the principle drops it for now as the shenanigans with the teachers start. I feel so bad for the kids panicking about the tests, the principle absolutely sucks and is going some absolute bullshit to these kids. I suppose it wouldn’t be a kids show if some person of authority didn’t absolutely suck. But still I’m impressed with the kids trying to study so they can pass. When I was a kid I would have been the only one trying as everyone else screwed around.

We also get our first fourth wall break moment, I wonder if we’ll see a lot of it or if it’ll be a little more rare. Either way it’s a funny moment and the montage is fun so it works for the episode. Having the principle not be affected I think was likely the only way Hazel would realize her wish was an issue and needed to be undone so I’m not annoyed about that, I don’t love how over the top she is about it, but we needed something to remind Hazel the teachers needed to, well teach. In the end the over the top behavior is likely due to it being simplified for a kids show to make the lesson stick so I can’t hate it too much.

Hazel finally getting the point when Wanda points out she’s not mature enough for adults was pretty funny. Though I have to wonder why the teachers had to constantly regress in maturity vs being set to the correct maturity level is something I don’t quite get. Though if this is my only real gripe with the episode I think that’s a win.

Somehow against all odds everyone manages to pass, I guess this week was just supposed to be review vs new content like when I was in school? Again not exactly realistic but I get simplifying this stuff for the show. Is that paperweight going to come back and haunt us? It looks pissed lolz 😂. But I am glad Hazel is starting to make friends and find her people. I’m excited to see their dynamic and how it plays out moving forward. The trio of Cosmo Wanda and Hazel is fun but having some friends to mix things up I think will be a big benefit.

I didn’t mention it in my episode two review but looking back, I do like how the writers allow Hazel to have anxiety about things under stress, she forgets things and overthinks and it feels very human and relatable and I appreciate the writers allowing Hazel to feel so human by letting her not be perfect. It’s a nice touch and I think it’s really why I’m enjoying Hazels character so much. It’s less she has this big fatal flaw as her only issue but has small imperfections that help sell her as a real kid.

Overall I think episode 3 has much tighter writing then episode 2 and they were able to work with the 11 minute time well with this premise. Onto episode 4!