#i also miss prinz......... when are you coming back :( will we ever get answers on whether youre ailette's brother in her prev life as well

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

my current thoughts on where the Mirror Princess dungeon arc & where it might go, as of Ch 158:

Honestly i'm not even worried about Bianca lol. We haven't seen her in forever, there's no way they're going to maim or kill her right now. and thr eye overseeing chaos would be so sad. She'll be fine! Aillette is on her way.

I'm more concerned about whatever on earth Reed has cooking up. He's probably aiming to eliminate the 1st Prince & Princess to throw the Vinchester kingdom into chaos, since the 3rd Prince is absolutely bonkers. It's a little curious that he chooses to do this by making the demons do things for him though. Guess he's too tired to do shit himself idk. Take a good rest king (?)

Anyway he'll definitely be turning up again or at least watching once Ailette shows up. I think it'll be cool if Reed and Tesilid fight one-on-one, but idk if they'll actually do that at this point in the story. I really want a scene where Tesilid is forced to fight Reed directly and Reed realises that he's stronger than he's supposed to be in Round 17. Although he might just chalk it up to Ailette feeding him cheats. I think Reed's reaction to [spoiler] would be so incredibly interesting and devastating, but tbh I don't mind if they do the hokey pokey for a little longer. It's kind of funny seeing everyone including Reed think that Tesilid is weaker than he is. (Although Tesilid is kind of is pretty weak rn because he hasn't recovered even i think half his strength. And he did get one-shotted by Reed last time, what the hell was that? He got taken down with just one off-hand move. He's going to die if he fights Reed by himself at this point, so Ailette definitely isn't going to let that happen. Rip my hopes and fantasies, maybe in another fifty chapters.)

Reed testing the demons' reactions to his face is pretty interesting though. What was he hoping to see? What would he have done if the demons did recognise him?

The way bloody no one except for Ailette & Agnes recognises him is also pretty interesting. Handsomest man in the world and somehow you're unrecognisable; you're so far outside of even demons' reaches and you're just an unattainable abstract to everyone, not a person. Although maybe it's because no one important has gotten close enough to him yet, because otherwise they would've died. (I wonder how Ephael and Hestio would react. I hope they join Ailette and Tesilid's Order soon.)

Also the way everyone wants to get a piece of him, corrupted or no, is pretty sad. Guy's cursed to be seen as the most irresistable piece of meat on the whole continent by almost everyone he encounters. It's so dehumanizing. :(

[hippriestess]

Part 2: Cherry-picking

Cherry Red had been releasing The Fall's new music since 2011's “Ersatz GB” and we already knew that Smith had signed a further deal with them to look after what portion of the group's catalogue he owned. They had already made a start with the handsome seven disc “Singles 1978 - 2016” box set they had released late in 2017 (alongside a cut-down three disc “A Sides” collection). The set had originally been scheduled for release in 2016 but the production deadline for the all-important Christmas market was missed and the set was held back until after “New Facts Emerge” - from which no singles were taken - had been released. Following Smith's passing, the seven-disc edition sold out and was unavailable for a short time before Cherry Red did the decent thing and made a few more.

A reissue of  1997's “Levitate” had been in the works for a while; Smith had signed off the tracklisting and there had been a trailer of sorts with a Record Store Day-only 7” of “Masquerade” in 2017. Given that the album had been in contractual limbo for quite some time with original vinyl copies fetching 3 figures on the open market, Cherry Red's first posthumous release felt like a public service,  doing the right thing both by Smith and by the fans. Released towards the end of May 2018, the new 2CD/3LP edition was justly well received and some kindly reviews appeared with mostly positive re-evaluations of one of their most awkward albums. Hindsight benefits the record; if it sounds like they were falling to bits, it's because they were and now that we know not just what happened next but how the whole story of The Fall continued for another 20 years, it has context. For the record (Portugal), yr present author is no more fond of the album than she was 7 or 8 years ago but “Ol' Gang” has clicked into focus and the second disc puts those great b-sides from the “Masquerade” CD singles back onto the shelves so it would have to be considered necessary.

Less impressive was “58 Golden Greats”, released at the end of 2018. A 3CD set in a clamshell box, this was, in essence, an extended version of the classic “50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong” collection from 2004, extending the tracklist to cover the remainder(er) of the group's career. It actually expands on the original in other ways, adding several songs from the era covered in the original version; the puzzling omission of “Big New Prinz” is corrected for one thing and other singles are added such as  “Oh! Brother” and “Dead Beat Descendent”. Perhaps Beggars Banquet were more co-operative this time. Whilst one could always quibble with any attempt at a Fall “best of”, yr present author was not taken with this one and my purse remained closed. 58 was an unwieldy number (why not a round 60?), the cover artwork – a spoof of a different Elvis Presley sleeve – was far from appealing and the entry-point value of “50,000...” was lost, a 3 disc set at £17 being too big a serving at too high a price for the merely curious. However, it looks as if I'm just flat-out in the wrong. As we'll continually see, Cherry Red aren't just experienced, they are also smart and do not lack savvy. I'm sat here keyboard-griping while “58 Golden Greats” is sold out. Enough said.

In 2019, Cherry Red announced the beginning of the Fall Sound Archive, the title of which gave the air of a mission to preserve The Fall's work for future generations. Inevitably, they were starting with 40th Anniversary editions of “Live At The Witch Trials” and “Dragnet”. There was early disappointment. The 3CD edition of “Live At The Witch Trials” contained the exact same music as the 2CD edition from 2004 but spread over three discs. Any thoughts that the decision at least preserved the sanctity of the original 11 song album were hampered by the 3CD edition of “Dragnet” containing, as disc 1, the exact same running order – with single and outtakes – as the 2004 CD edition. The other two discs were 2 of the little-loved “Live From The Vaults” series (of which, more later, sort of..). The archive was perhaps, not so deep.

However, the plus points were the vinyl editions, which had been hatched with obvious care. Using the rare US edition of “LATWT” with an alternate sleeve and revised running order was a clever touch and one that acknowledged that the Fall's audience would need something more than just a nice colour of vinyl before they indulged the album yet again. Similarly, “Dragnet” came with a reproduction 7” of “Rowche Rumble”, a record which originally came with the thinnest paper sleeve in the history of music. That's not to say that we didn't get coloured vinyl, oh we did - “LATWT” came of red vinyl to match the US sleeve and “Dragnet” on black and white “splatter” vinyl. These both sold well, sold quickly and sold out, now being tricky to score except on the Discogs etc market. But perhaps more to the point, they suggested that Cherry Red's experience and nouse would, at minimum, keep things interesting.

Later in 2019, the Kamera catalogue came under Cherry Red's microscope and it was another mixed set of releases. For CD buyers, a 6 disc set called “(1982)” was developed. This contained “Hex Enduction Hour”, “Room To Live” “Fall In A Hole” various single and live tracks and the “Live To Air In Melbourne” album which had previously snuck out in the late 90's when MES was broke. There was no new music to be had here at all – everything had previously been released. As such £40 was too rich a price tag for many and the edition is still easily available. The new vinyl edition of “Hex” was well particularly well presented. For the first time, the 60 minute LP was cut onto 4 sides of vinyl – a long overdue move, this did the album real justice on the format and would have to be considered an essential for those who insist on twelve-inch slabs of wax for their music. A pleasing, sturdy fold-out sleeve showed that corners were not being cut, the vinyl again matched the colour scheme of the artwork and it also came with an excellent reproduction of the sterling “Look, Know/I'm Into C.B.” 45. What spoiled it a little bit was the inclusion of a third LP with Peel Session #5 on one side and some of the live tracks from the 2005 Sanctuary 2CD on the other. All this really did was drive up the price – a double LP with the 7” would have been perfect and would have been less heavy on the purse *NB – this didn't stop me buying it – that's my copy in the picture...). “Room To Live” was given a vinyl reissue too, this time as a double LP with sides 3 and 4 being the live tracks from the 2005 Sanctuary edition. Again, this didn't quite feel like the right choice – an alternative idea would have been a single LP with a 7”. Given that the classic “Lie Dream Of A Casino Soul/Fantastic Life” single had been added to the popular, widely owned German pressing, why not add a repro of that instead? It would have cost less and added more value to the package.

Despite these whinges “(1982)” would have to be considered an elegant, practical solution to a latter-day problem and demonstrates why Cherry Red remain a market leader in catalogue reissues. Can you really sell compact discs of these albums yet again? How else do you present the music in this format? The answer to parcel the whole lot together and present it as a “year-in-the-life” was a smart one that was only hampered by an optimistic £40 price tag (which translated to as much as £58 in stores) and the artwork being based on “Hex” which could have given a more casual customer the notion that the set was Hex and 5 discs of “other” material. The bottom line here is that there is nothing else in the cupboard; as with the IAKO ballet and the Hey! Luciani play, fantasies about things like the unedited “Winter” and the full 20+ minute “And This Day” ever appearing are exactly that – fantasies. Were they ever preserved, they're gone and anything that did turn up, almost 40 years hence would likely be in such a state of degeneration as to be unlistenable. From now on, all that can be done is to keep this material out there and try to present it with a fresh angle. That's precisely what Cherry Red have done here.

Come 2020, come the challenge of reselling what is not just one of the most widely-distributed but also one of the worst Fall albums: “Reformation Post TLC”. Cherry Red stuck to type with a double LP pressed into blue and red coloured vinyl, again matching the colour to the sleeve. Undoubtedly a handsome package, this version was snapped up with some enthusiasm although it does seem that sales were likely harmed by coinciding with the early, uncertain, often panic-stricken days of the Covid-19 pandemic reaching the UK. The 4CD edition was daunting: the whole album and 2 CDs worth of outtakes and rough mixes, followed by the “Last Night At The Palais” CD. The “Last Night At The Palais” DVD was not included. Time has passed, time has healed and it is clear that RPTLC is a terrific EP stretched out beyond the energy of the participants. There is even a strong 40 minute single LP to be had within its contents but, hey it was what it was. With almost all of the unreleased mixes having no vocals, interest wears off before we got to the excellent live disc but, on the other paw, Cherry Red have done exactly what we want; it is highly unlikely that there is anything left from the album sessions; this is the whole lot, every scrap. Up to us now what we do with them.

****************************

Now, if you're thinking I've skipped something, you're right but the story of The Fall's posthumous discography is difficult to tell in a linear fashion. So I invite you, friends, to join me in a diversion. Cast your minds back to Record Store Day 2019.  

Cherry Red played a good hand by releasing a new vinyl edition of the superb “Imperial Wax Solvent” album. As with “Levitate”, vinyl copies were going for silly money, Universal having allegedly pressed a mere 500 for the world. It was a shame that Cherry Red therefore added only another 500 copies, this time pressed into yellow vinyl. These were almost entirely snapped up on the day and copies of this edition are routinely offered at £50-60.  “IWS” had, of course, been out of print since 2008, having been deleted less than 6 months after its release. As such the RSD edition of  “IWS” could be said to have undersold the record somewhat. Unless, of course, a properly “available” edition, maybe with that unreleased original mix of the album was to follow at some point...more on that later.

Sadly, we must also wade through the other Fall releases that were curled out for RSD 2019. That will take us into Part 3...

[mycatshuman]

Castle of Devils

Chapter 2

Pairings: Eventual Prinxiety

Warnings: mentions of blood? I don't think there is any others? Let me know if I missed any.

Word count: 1,868

Thank you so so much to the amazing @civilsounds17 for helping me and reading through this for me! 💚💚💚 also thank you so very much to @wxlcomxtothxjunglx for helping me with the title.

More Chapters

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Roman awoke the next morning to find a tray sitting outside his door with a note. He frowned slightly before glancing around. He wasn't sure how long the food had been out there, he hoped it was still warm. Grabbing the tray, he brought the tray inside and closed the door behind him. Taking a moment to debate where he wanted to eat, he decided to sit his breakfast on the desk beside the window so he could sit and look out at the view.

He shoved the velvet red curtains aside dramatically (as he did everything) and sat down, opening the window, he let out a surprised breath at the view. It was, it the simplest of terms, enchanting. The sun shone down on the land, it's beams hitting the multicolored leaves adorning the trees below. The reds, yellows, and oranges swirled through the air as they fell from the dying branches. The twinkling of the cool water in the river below as it ran over small pebbles and rocks was picturesque, and Roman could have sworn he could hear the trickling of the crystal liquid as it flowed. He let out a small shiver as the crisp fall breeze blew through the air, bringing with it, the smell of apples and pumpkins. The whole scene was like something out of a fairytale.

Roman felt a small, content smile make its way to his face before he turned to his food. He delicately picked up the small note bearing his name with intricate, crimson script. Bringing the note close to himself and opening it, he felt his breath hitch in his throat as the faint scent of...something, trailed along with it. Roman felt his head grow slightly dizzy. The smell was intoxicating. It was the smell of crisp autumn leaves, the smell of pumpkin spices, clover, nutmeg, and cinnamon. The smell of ancient tomes and a slight smell of thrill seeking danger. Roman recognized the scent as it all swirled around him in one unique smell that he distinctly remembered from last night. Virgil.

Roman felt his cheeks warm. He hasn't even been here one night and he was already finding himself falling for someone. And it was his host! At that. Roman shook his head to clear his head of thoughts of pale skin and stormy eyes. He quickly read through the note his host left him.

Dear Mr. Prinz,

I trust you had a pleasant sleep? Please enjoy this meal I have prepared for you when you wake. I shall be quite busy today and I hope that you can get yourself settled into your new home for the next month. If you finish that, please enjoy my library. It has a vast collection of novels and I can only hope you will find something that intrigues you. I shall come find you somewhere around five and then we can start my studies. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask.

Yours truly, Virgil Stoker

P.s. the Wifi password is alucard500

Roman chuckled breathlessly before setting the paper down and starting on his food. As he ate, he looked out over the forest surrounding the castle. His thoughts wandered from the serene view to the people in the gas station. Why were they so scared of this place? Sure it looked scary on the outside, at night with wolves howling, but in the day, it was like something out of a fairytale.

Roman frowned. What could they possibly be scared of? It couldn't have been the castle's owner. Virgil was too kind and polite, albeit a little weird, but that couldn't be cause enough for them to call him a devil. And it wasn't like there was anyone else who lived here who could have caused the reputation of devils. Could it possibly be the castle? Maybe something in its past. Could it be haunted? Are there ghost and literal devils and demons here? Could it be a previous owner? The land?

Roman was beginning to drive himself mad as he went over countless possibilities in his head. Maybe I could ask Virgil? He thought as he finished his breakfast. Yes. Surely Virgil would know how the rumors came about. Roman stood up from his spot on the window sill and began to unpack his things and put them away. He was extremely happy to find his closet was much bigger than his one at home. After he was done, he opened the door to his joined bathroom and took a nice soothing bath in the clawfoot tub.

As he soaked in the warm water with the soothing smell of candles swimming through the air and the instrumental tracks to every Disney song playing from his phone, he thought, Why would anyone want to leave? Roman's green eyes flew open as he hit Eureka. Maybe Virgil wants to leave because they whisper such nasty rumors about him! It wasn't much, but it at least gave some light? On the subject. It still didn't give him an answer as to why such wicked rumors were spread in the first place. Although, it could possibly be due to a lifestyle of Virgil's or part of his personality.

Roman let out a sigh and sank into the tub as he closed his eyes and relaxed his muscles. It wasn't really something he should concern himself with. After all, it wasn't like it involved him. For all he knew, it could just be a family feud that doesn't involve games and television. Roman pushed all thoughts from his mind and focused on the music spilling through the air, creating a calming atmosphere as Roman prepared for this evenings lesson with his host.

----

Roman found himself sitting at his desk, a few minutes before five, writing about his stay so far when a feather like knock sounded at his door. Roman startled slightly and turned his head to the door. “Mr. Prinz? If you're ready we can start the lesson now.” Roman glanced down at his attire, he was wearing a pair of black dress slacks and a crisp white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and the top two buttons were undone. Is this professional enough?!?! “Mr. Prinz? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I'm coming!” Roman called out as he frantically glanced around the room, forgetting his dilemma of a few seconds ago as he tried to make sure his room was at least presentable. Roman moved quickly to the door and fixed his hair before opening the door. “Good evening Mr. Stoker.”

Virgil quickly took Roman in, suppressing the irregular jump of his heart in his chest. The reaction totally wasn't due to how handsome Roman looked. Not at all. “Please, call me Virgil,” he replied before stepping away from the door and sweeping his arm to the side. “Shall we?”

Roman swallowed a lump in his throat as he nodded and left his room, closing the door behind him and looked expectantly at the other. A ghost of a smile spread across Virgil's smooth pale face before he lead the way through the hall to the study where they would be completing the lessons.

Roman took the time to study his host's face as they traveled through the dimly lit halls of the castle, the flickering light of the candles (not sure why the castle had candles what with all the technology this age provided but Roman appreciated the aesthetic) casting shadows across the darkly dressed man's face. What had Virgil so busy today? Roman had to admit, it was a little strange that he had only ever seen his host in the shadowy hours of the dark. Then again, Roman hadn't even been here for two days. He could just be paranoid. Although, he wouldn't lie and say the words of the cashier weren't still ringing in his head, putting him on edge.

Roman continued to glance at Virgil as they walked through the halls. On one of these small stalker moments, Roman caught a glimpse of Virgil's eyes. They shone slightly in the light, the grey orbs flashing with mystery. And, oh, how Roman loved mystery. They stopped outside of closed door, which must have been the study, and Roman watched as the other twisted the silver handle and pushed the door open. Virgil stepped through the threshold and Roman followed, finally tearing his eyes away from the other man and getting a look at his surroundings. There was a wide window overlooking the back of the castle grounds where a sprawling garden of flowers and trees of all sorts stood. It was beautiful.

Roman tore his attention away from the view outside and took in the view on the inside. It was gorgeous. Rich mahogany bookshelves stood along the wall to the right, the spines thick with words. To the left, a magnificent woven tapestry hung against the wall, it's thread woven picture depicting a scene of the ocean, her waves reflecting the full moon as it floated above her vast waters. The stars accompanying the moon in the sky of the artwork seemed to almost twinkle in silent knowledge of complex detail. In the middle of all of this, a table stood out amongst the other elements of the room.

The table was a deep brown, its chairs of the same shade. It was round with the base carved into the shape of a great tree trunk, it's thick branches holding up the surface on which one would place their books. Although, Roman would wonder how anyone could possibly place anything atop its surface was when it's face was decorated with such delicate, intricate detail. Roses and thorns carved themselves into the table, their stems connecting all of them all over the wooden surface. It was magical.

Virgil noticed his awe. “You like it?” He asked as Roman ran a tan hand over the dark wood with a feather light touch. He nodded.

“Yeah, this is-” he swallowed. “This is truly magnificent. Such gorgeous craftsmanship. It's like something out of a fairytale,” Roman breathed out, his voice soft with appreciation. “Wherever did you get it?”

A smile tugged at Virgil's lips as he watched Roman. He shifted slightly before mumbling. “I-I made it.”

Roman stopped running his fingertips over the carvings and turned to look at the other, surprise evident on his chiseled features. “You-you made this?” He asked, his voice soft. Virgil nodded and scratched at his cuticles. Roman glanced at the table beneath his fingers and felt a warm feeling blossom in his chest. He turned back to Virgil. “Virgil… this is magnificent. Truly. You have a gift.”

A faint blush colored Virgil's cheeks as the blood warmed his face. Roman watched as the other stared at him with what could only be an expression of pleasant surprise and felt his blood rush to face as it turned a slightly darker shade of blush. After a few moments of uncomfortable warmth and silence, Virgil cleared his throat. “Um, shall we get started?” He asked.

Roman stayed silent for a few moments as he waited for his cheeks to cool, then he nodded. “Yes. Let's begin.”

-----

Taglist: @kittycake574 @rainbow-roman @icequeenoriginal @ilovemygaydad @roman-flair

[sodanewsletters]

Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. SHARE THIS SHARE THIS Skimm for February 27th Skimm’d in robes QUOTE OF THE DAY “A text message sent while drunk” - How Oxford Dictionaries defines “drunk text.” Thanks for the clarity. Skimm This PLOT TWIST THE STORY Last night was the Oscars. “Moonlight” won best picture. “La La Land” did not. WHAT HAPPENED? Bonnie and Clyde had the wrong envelope, and announced “La La Land” as best picture. The film’s team came out for their speech. Then…never mind. “Moonlight” was the real winner. Host Jimmy Kimmel blamed Steve Harvey, then himself. PwC - the accounting firm that oversees the ballots - apologized for the not-so-classic mix-up and said they’re investigating what happened. WHAT ELSE HAPPENED? Kimmel - aka the Candy Man - spared no one in his opening monologue. Not even Meryl. Definitely not Mel. And he’s still not friends with Matt Damon. A bus load of tourists got punked. Things got political, too. Kimmel thanked President Trump for taking the spotlight away from that time “it seemed like the Oscars were racist.” Then he did some live tweeting. Meanwhile, the audience had all the feels during the In Memoriam part of the show. Jennifer Aniston - who introduced the segment - got choked up while talking about Bill Paxton, the actor who passed away at age 61 due to surgery complications the day before. WHO WON? “Moonlight” took home best picture and best adapted screenplay. “La La Land” director Damien Chazelle is now the youngest best director winner ever. Mahershala Ali became the first Muslim actor to win an Oscar. Emma Stone, Casey Affleck, and Viola Davis picked up the other acting awards. Iranian director Asghar Farhadi won for best foreign film, but boycotted the show to protest Trump’s travel ban. WHO WON THE RED CARPET? Viola Davis and Naomi Harris brought the heat. The artist formerly known as The Rock was feeling blue. Emma Stone, Nicole Kidman, and Jessica Biel channeled Oscar gold. WHO DIDN’T? Casey Affleck officially, officially needs to shave. Dakota Johnson brought her Victorian apron. theSKIMM For a while it looked like the Oscars were going to be pretty predictable…and predictably looooong. Instead, it ended with one of the biggest plot twists in Hollywood history. Skimm This REPEAT AFTER ME... WHAT TO SAY WHEN THE PERSON CUTTING YOUR HAIR KEEPS FROWNING... Yeah, this isn’t going to work out. Yesterday, President Trump’s pick for secretary of the US Navy, Philip Bilden, pulled his name from the running. That’s because he didn’t think his business ties would pass an ethics review. He’s the third of Trump’s nominees to drop out, after labor nominee Andy Puzder and Army secretary nominee Vincent Viola both bowed out in recent weeks. Who’s also been shown the door? Some members of the media. Last week, the Trump administration blocked several media outlets (CNN, The New York Times, Politico) from an off-camera briefing with Press Secretary Sean Spicer. This is not normal. It’s unclear why these outlets were banned. But this comes as the White House has been pretty open about how unhappy it is with media coverage of Team Trump’s alleged ties to Russia. Then, over the weekend, President Trump said he’ll sit out this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner - the one where the press, the president, and a comedian roast each over lots of champagne. Trump’s the first president in decades to RSVP ‘no’ to the event. So…not getting warmer. Skimm This WHAT TO SAY TO YOUR FRIEND WHO JUST GOT HER FIFTH SPEEDING TICKET... So you think you’re a NASCAR driver? Yesterday, Kurt Busch won the Daytona 500. It’s like the Super Bowl for race car fans, except it kicks-off the start of racing season. After years of viewership taking a deep dive, NASCAR tried to amp up the excitement by having drivers race the 500 miles in three stages - instead of one long turn ’round and ’round the track. The change-up was supposed to make things more dramatic. Yesterday’s race involved multiple crashes, including a 16-car wreck. And Busch eked out the win in the final lap. Drama? Check. Skimm This WHAT TO SAY WHEN YOUR TEAM GOES ON AN OFFSITE... The Dems spent the weekend doing trust falls too. They elected former labor secretary Tom Perez to be the new DNC chairman. He was in a tough race against Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) - who was the guy supported by Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT). After Perez won, he tapped Ellison to be his right-hand man. TBD on whether they’ll have the deeply divided party singing kumbaya. Skimm This SKIMM MONEY ROL: Stands for return on life. Think: TFW you find time to juggle your job, your friends, and volunteering for the causes you care about. If one of your resolutions this year is to be better about giving back, here are some ideas outside of just writing a check. NO EXCUSES: IMMIGRATION We want you to be informed about issues driving the national conversation in 2017. That starts with immigration. This week’s all about the FAQs. We’ve got answers… What are the requirements for becoming a US citizen? These are the qualities Miss America is looking for… * You have to be at least 18 years old * You have to have lived in the US for at least five years and have a permanent resident card (“green card”) to prove it * OR you have to be married to a US citizen for at least three years * You have to read, write, and speak basic English * You have to know the basics of US history and how the government works * You have to have never deserted the US Armed forces * You have to have “good moral character” Oh…and you have to fill out some forms and go through some interviews and then wait. For a while. 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