#i also made the mistake of getting to costco right about the time everyone was getting off work and just...oh my god

[regular-lord-reckoner]

well, i guess i'm as winter storm ready as i can be !

i clocked out of work for a bit to go run the errands i normally do on fridays because tomorrow we're supposed to get a few actual inches of snow (we'll see !!) so that was..... exhausting to do in the middle of a work day (and right before a snowstorm in the south... the traffic....) but it's all done !!

i've gotta work a couple of hours tomorrow because i ended up taking longer than i meant to (mostly because of the traffic) but hopefully i can get up and get that done before there's any possibility of even losing power so fingers crossed !

hope you're safe out there if you're reading this and stay warm/safe if this shit's about to hit you as well !! <3

[poppadom0912]

Together (VI 2)

Warnings: Mentions of violence, blood, injuries, abuse, kidnappings, shootings, and scary men.

Summary: Everyone in Chicago knows the signature Halstead stubbornness, but the Murray's only smell delusion

A/N: So, I made a mistake in the last chapter and forgot to add a whole section so this is the part I forgot. Sorry 😭😭

Previous Chapter / Series Masterlist / Next Chapter

When you agreed to help clean up your dad's cabin, a place that had been a sort of holiday home till your mother passed away and your dad started to neglect it, you said you needed a distraction from work and this would be a nice sort of getaway from that bustling life to just be in the middle of the countryside with your brothers.

But this wasn’t what you had in mind when you said you wanted a distraction.

Currently, Will was trying his hardest to get your mind off the immense pain you were drowning in and for a while it was working. Will was a miracle worker in his own right, and you were starting to understand why his patients valued his bedside manner.

But nothing good ever lasted because curled up in his lap, his fingers running through your knotted red hair that was identical to his own curly mop while his other hand remained firm on your wrist where he could feel your pulse and he didn’t need to tell you why because you already knew the nauseous smell of death looming over you like a predator, reading to pounce the nanosecond something changed.

Deep down, guiltily, you wondered what you did to deserve all of this. It made you think the Halstead's were doomed to a lifetime of pain and perhaps you just had to come to terms with this lifestyle, one which you should’ve become accustomed to since your teenage years.

Around ten minutes ago you would say, or that’s what Will said specifically when you asked him, a man decked out in all black came down to what Will also said looks and feels like another basement and gave you food. Last time the Murray's kidnapped you, they let you starve but this time was clearly different.

With Will’s help, you sat up but most your body weight was leaning against Will. Resting your head on his shoulder, he described to you everything that was on the tray and for once, you could say that the Murray brothers surprised you in what you hoped was a in a good way.

Was this suspicious? Very much so yes but were you going to take advantage of what could be a one-off situation.

You could just about make out what they gave but Will start speaking before you could ask him to. There were two water bottles that size of his palm, a carton of grape juice which made you whine, two weird looking and most likely packet bought pb&j sandwiches and finally four plain butter biscuits.  

Despite the gruelling hours of torture you endured, food was the last thing on your mind. It had been so long since you had last eaten though, the last meal you could recollect eating was breakfast which merely consisted of a Costco croissant that you ate in the car driving to the firehouse.

Just as you were going to voice your adversity to the food, Will continued being the mother hen you and jay bullied him for.

“Y/N, I don’t care if I have to force feed you, you’re going to eat something from the place and you going to get as much liquids in you. I don’t think this is the time and place for me to be teaching you about nutrition and health.”

You groaned, mumbling to him that you weren’t hungry, but you knew your attempts were futile.

“I promise that you’ll feel a little bit better once you eat. Once we get your sugar levels up a bit, you should be feeling less faint and hopefully you’ll have enough energy to talk to me in full sentences.” Will said, a soft smile on his bloody lips when he tore one of the sandwiches into small bite size pieces, feeding it straight to you when your arm refused to move. “Or I can keep the party going since you're already losing your voice and we don’t need it to be gone completely.”

You hummed in reply. Yeah, you and practically everyone else would appreciate if you still had your voice.

Chewing slowly, you watched Will eating the other sandwich. As the two of you ate, he did mention the poor quality of the food could easily mean something was wrong, but any food was better than no food according to the emergency medicine doctor.

If anything did go wrong though, there was nothing left to patch things up.

And if things did go wrong after this, then the Murray's actions were only getting weirder.

As Will opened the bottled water, gingerly holding it up for you so you could take a few slow sips, you wondered where Jay was and if he was getting the attention he desperately needed, especially after being shot in the snow.

“Do you think Jay’s okay?”

Will stayed silent for a minute when you hoarsely whispered. The question sounded so innocent but the meaning behind it weighs heavy on both your conscious.

“I hope so, I really hope so but he’s Jay. He's not going to stop till he finds us.”

Series Masterlist:

@mads-weasley @sowrongitslottie @elite4cekalyma @senjoritanana @hufflepuff-blackwidow @mrspeacem1nusone @kmc1989 @goth-cowgirl-03 @daggersquadphantom @photographerkaiya0306 @jamie0515 @samanthavitale @iamasimpingh0e

[elareine]

I had a thought for a prompt: What if Tim had a Costco membership, for getting groceries for Titans Tower right? But what if he got himself a Costco sized tin of those Danish Butter cookies (you know the ones that everyone’s grandma uses the tin for sewing supplies?) for his and Jay’s apartment. Que every single one of their siblings, friends, and Bruce sneaking into their apartment to steal some. Because Alfred DOES NOT let them into the manor for reasons.

That is a hilarious prompt, thank you, love!

(Also thanks to @atasteforsuicidal for explaining what exactly Costco does XD)

It started with Dick. 

Which, okay, not too weird. Tim and Dick were close, and if you asked Jason under torture, he would admit that the two of them managed just fine these days, as well. So Dick was a regular visitor these days, and with his metabolism, him sneaking some cookies from the big tins wasn’t too surprising. 

“Eat something real,” was Jason’s only reply, and then he made Dick some pasta because no one in this family could feed themselves.  

Stephanie was a lot less subtle about it. She marched in with a fervent: “God bless your kitchen” and ate everything in sight. Nothing unusual about that. 

Duke was next, though Jason only retroactively added him to the list. That kid was just charming as fuck, dropping by to ask for some opinions and making such a show of stealing Jason’s quesadillas that Jason never noticed him going for the cookies. 

The problem really started when Damian broke into their kitchen. 

Jason didn’t even figure it out until after it happened, which bugged the hell out of him. Apparently, the hellspawn was willing to do the song-and-dance of slipping through their alarm system but didn’t care about being recorded. Possibly because nothing Damian was all that bad, as far as Jason could see. He went through a few of their assorted tins and boxes, ate a few things, crammed some cookies into his bag, and… left. Maybe the kid had just been hungry on patrol? 

(Jason still replaced all of Tim’s coffee, just in case.) 

Only that wasn’t the last break-in. No, they had nightly visits by two speedsters. Two. Jason was amazed they had any food left at this rate. This was why Tim had become a Costco member; they would be broke otherwise, inheritance or not. Damian broke in again. The second time, he even brought Jon. 

Jason just wished he knew why their kitchen had turned into midnight-snack central. When he complained, Tim just laughed at him.

It didn’t click until Roy fell upon the tin with a cry of delight. “Oh, Jaybird, you bought the good stuff!” 

“They’re just cookies.” 

“Yeah, but the good ones.” For some reason, Roy looked… disappointed with him? “You really don’t appreciate the finer things in life, do you?” 

Normally, Jason would’ve taken that as the starting point for a rant about quality in food and art in these modern times. Right now, he was too busy experiencing an epiphany. “Is that why fucking everyone is trying to burgle our kitchen?” 

Roy patted him on the shoulder sympathetically and inhaled another cookie. 

Sadly, Jason didn’t feel any better about the madness just because he now had an explanation. They still had the nightly visitors, and more daytime ones than ever, too. Even Damian stopped pretending and just invited himself over for lunch. 

One night, Jason switched on the kitchen light, saw Bruce standing there, and switched it right back off. 

“Barbara is now my favorite sibling,” he declared upon returning to the bedroom. 

Tim didn’t look up from whatever he was typing. “Does she really count as a sibling? She does have a dad.” 

“Half sibling, half future sister-in-law, then.” Jason would feel more awkward about that sentence if he wasn’t literally sliding under a blanket with Tim. In their bed. In their apartment. Sooo. No stones to throw here. “Anyway. She’s my favorite.” 

“Any specific reason?” 

“She didn’t yet try to steal those fucking cookies.” 

The typing stopped. 

Jason groaned. “…seriously?” 

He must’ve sounded truly pathetic because Tim actually put the laptop on the nightstand and scooted his way over into Jason’s arms. “She stopped by when you were out with the outlaws yesterday.” 

“And there goes my last hope,” Jason sighed. 

Tim showed his sympathy by cuddling in closer, which Jason appreciated, but he wasn’t done with this whole thing yet. 

“It tells me I need to start baking again,” he grumbled into Tim’s hair. “If ya’ll are going that crazy for some fucking butter cookies, you should try my mom’s recipe.” 

“Yeah, but if you make them, Alfred will love them.” 

“What does Alfred have to do with this?” 

“He forbade those cookie tins from the manor years ago. No one wants to cross him, but… the lure of the forbidden…” 

“So we’re in some sort of reverse psychology experiment?” Jason chuckled. That. That actually explained a lot. Except—“Wait. If you knew—why did you buy it in the first place?” 

Tim mumbled something unintelligible. When Jason poked him, he raised his voice, but not by much. “It’s kinda nice, isn’t it?” 

“Oh.” Jason cupped Tim’s jaw, gently tipped his head so they were looking at each other. “Sweetheart, you know they would visit with or without the cookies, right?” 

Tim just looked at him. “Kinda?”

They had done this for long enough that Jason just asked: “You want logical or emotional reassurance?” 

And Tim knew he could reply: “…both.” 

“Literally every single one of them has a trust fund. They can afford all the Danish butter cookies in the world. Dames could just break into Cosco—and you know he would, cause it’s a corporation, so ‘stealing is ethical.’” Jason allowed that to sink in. Then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Tim’s temple. “And they love you very much.” Just like I do. 

When he thought that Tim got it, he nodded and let go, allowing his boyfriend to hide his face in Jason’s neck again. That turned out to be a mistake, for Tim chose that moment to strike: “You know the same goes for you, too?” 

Jason took a moment to blink. “…Nah. It’s definitely the cookies.” 

“Sure, Jay.” Tim pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. “Keep telling yourself that.” 

Jason hummed. A peaceful quiet settled over their bedroom. 

He waited until Tim was just settled in, his breathing starting to slow down, to say: “By the way, Bruce is in our kitchen.” 

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” 

[letterboxd]

Green-Light Yourself.

As Merawi Gerima’s debut feature Residue lands on Netflix, he tells Gemma Gracewood about being the son of indie film legends, duty of care as a director, and why Akira is his go-to comfort movie.

Sometimes it’s impossible to move forward with your art until you’ve taken a good look back. In Merawi Gerima’s impressionistic and hypnotic first feature, Residue, a young man, Jay, returns from college on the West Coast to find that his Washington, DC neighborhood has been hugely transformed within a few short years. A white neighbor barks at him to turn his car stereo down. Familiar faces have disappeared. The gentrification is debilitating, but Jay’s efforts to work out his disorientation and rage through art meets opposition with old friends.

Like his lead character, Gerima is both a DC native and a graduate of a West Coast college (USC’s School of Cinematic Arts), and was similarly confronted by change when he got home. Making Residue was “absolutely something that I had to do because that was the only positive direction to pour my energies into,” he says. “I think that there was a lot of destructive potential in my life at that point. The film really was the first moment when I started to feel that I perhaps was not powerless in this situation.”

Derron “Rizzo” Scott as Mike in ‘Residue’.

Gentrification as a form of structural racism has long impacted Black communities, and Gerima is not the first in his family to cover this ground. His parents are the LA Rebellion filmmakers Haile Gerima, whose work includes the Golden Bear-nominated 1983 slavery drama Sankofa, and Shirikiana Aina, who documented changes to their DC neighborhood in her 1982 non-fiction short Brick by Brick.

Residue was a family affair; the Gerima name is all through the credits. “My aunts were the chefs; my sister, she was, like, the head of the catering.” Although his legendary father managed to get off lightly with Costco runs, Gerima’s equally impressive mother ended up anchoring two of the film’s most affecting scenes, as Tonya, the Mom of Jay’s childhood friend, Mike (Derron “Rizzo” Scott).

“I had somebody else cast—she was a no-show. My mother was on set that day, just kind of helping feed people. I knew that she had what we needed, emotionally speaking. She was actually trying to drive away to go find the woman; I was like, ‘Nah, I need you right now’. She did it, but at a great cost.” The thing about filming in your own neighborhood, Gerima explains, where you’ve raised not only your own but also everyone else’s kids, with varying outcomes, is you end up bringing that lived experience to your scenes. “It’s very real for her. She’s not acting. I almost cried once we finished filming. Nobody spoke for a long time.”

The scene taught Gerima much about a director’s duty of care—particularly when he dared to ask his mother for a second take of a pivotal scene that takes place in a downpour. “In preparing to shoot in the rain we made a few mistakes, with the camera, the placement, there was miscommunication with me and the DP [Mark Jeevaratnam]. I, he, we both agreed that we needed another take. When I asked my mother for another take, she just looked at us like, it hurt, it was painful to ask. She did what she could, but you could tell that she didn’t have it in her.” As it turns out, the first take was the one. “I thought we ruined everything, but once I slowed down, I just saw what a miracle it was.”

It’s impossible to separate Residue from its limited budget and circumstances. Structurally rich and technically unusual, the film is a triumph of local knowledge, happy accidents, and “hood auditions”, where people were pulled straight off the street into the cast. It’s infused with an all-hands-on-deck spirit, constructed scene-by-scene during a home edit by Gerima himself.

“We shot the first draft of the script. You know what I mean? We didn’t have time to wait for a rewrite. We didn’t have time to wait for money. We didn’t have time to wait for anything. In many ways, it was the source of many of our problems, but it was also the source of a lot of our freedom, because we weren’t tied down by money. We weren’t tied down by a locked-in script.”

Mark Jeevaratnam, Merawi Gerima (with camera), and Obinna Nwachukwu on the set of ‘Residue’.

At Slamdance this past January, Residue won the audience award, and an acting prize for its star, Obinna Nwachukwu, whose story is a lesson for other aspiring actors. He was right for the role (“He fit the bill in terms of, he knows DC lingo, he knows the culture, he’s from the area, which was incredibly important”). More importantly, he was available. “The fact that we didn’t have resources, we needed somebody like him. He wants to act. He designs his life in his way where he was able to give us two weeks without knowing much about us. Once we got him, everything else became a lot easier.”

After Slamdance, of course, 2020 took a bit of a turn. Residue was shortlisted for Cannes, but that was cancelled and in May Gerima told his college paper: “I think that the festival prospects for the rest of this year are getting dimmer by the day.” When we speak, however, he is in Venice, where his debut feature has just screened in the independent Venice Days section of La Biennale di Venezia. It turns out that Cannes Directors’ Fortnight head Paolo Moretti had put in a word with Venice Days. As 2020 goes, this is as good as it gets for new filmmakers—and is a beautiful demonstration of how the global festival community has pulled together to make something good out of the mess we’re in.

Likewise, Gerima is grateful to Ava DuVernay’s ARRAY Releasing, who made the Netflix deal. He notes that a Black-led distribution company is a luxury his parents never knew. “I think if Ava did not exist, our film probably would not have distribution. The broad imagination necessary to see the commercial potential of Black films is still not there. I’m often sad thinking about the fact that my parents had no such opportunity.” Like a scene straight out of Dolemite is My Name, Gerima describes how his folks would book their own theaters across the US and use the African diaspora to help fill them, “proving the commercial nature of these films, in communities that hungered for real Black stories”.

Merawi Gerima directs Jacari Dye on the set of ‘Residue’.

Gerima’s film appetite is wide, and he’s often looked outside the US for inspiration. Some of the most crucial films in his development as a director have been the 1968 post-revolutionary Cuban films Lucia and Memories of Underdevelopment. He is also a fan of La Lengua de las Mariposas (‘Butterfly’, 1999, José Luis Cuerda), which has “one of my favorite endings in film, period”. Japanese influences include Akiro Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai (1954) and Kaneto Shindo’s The Naked Island (1960) and he also looks to Chilean legend Miguel Littin and Soviet directors Andrei Tarkovsky, Sergei Eisenstein and Nikita Mikhalkov. His go-to comfort film? “Akira. I don’t know if it’s comfort, but I watch it all the time! I just think it’s one of the best films ever made.”

On the home front, an “incredible, important” American film is Ivan Dixon’s 1973 action drama The Spook Who Sat by the Door, while the movies that “really put me onto talking to girls” are Gina Prince-Bythewood’s Love & Basketball and Rick Famuyiwa’s The Wood. “These are the types of films, circulating within the Black community [that] we memorize the lines to. That set the sexual compass of Black adolescents, you know what I mean?”

‘Sankofa’ (1993), written and directed by Haile Gerima.

His parents, however, remain Gerima’s greatest influence. “Sankofa was made without arbitration. Black stories that have no minders like that, nobody to answer to, often are far and away, the most honest types of Black storytelling that we see in film.” For other storytellers yet to take the first step, he offers this: “My best lesson from this film has been to always and at all times green-light my own self, my own actions, because that’s the only thing that I can control—and to not wait for conditions to be right or perfect.”

Acknowledging the privilege of being born into a filmmaking family, Gerima adds: “That may not apply to everybody. There are many, incredible things which prohibit action at times. But I think that there are many incredible conditions under which people can take action with the camera. I think that it’s really just a matter of how urgently that story burns within you. I can only say for myself, that’s the way the film got made. Without that, it would have been literally impossible.”

When asked who we should watch next, Gerima recommends 200 Meters, written and directed by Palestinian filmmaker Ameen Nayfeh. (“He’s an incredibly poised and principled filmmaker.”) The film won the audience award at Venice Days. He also recommends Really Love by Angel Kristi Williams, which won a SXSW Special Jury Recognition for acting, and will feature as a Special Presentation at AFI Fest next month.

‘Residue’ is in select US theaters and on Netflix now. Follow Gemma on Letterboxd.

[newagesispage]

                                                                            JUNE    2020

PAGE RIB

FX and Ryan Murphy will bring us season 10 of American Horror Story next year. The cast includes Mac Culkin, Kathy Bates, Sarah Paulson, Evan peters, Billie Lourd, Lily Rabe and Finn Wittrock. There will also be a spinoff called, wait for it, American Horror Stories. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Reno 911 is back

*****

I happen to have a clementine in my butt. –Jimmy Kimmel

*****

NASA got their dragon launch. It is unfortunate that they had to compete with the current cycle.

*****

Sam Springsteen (son of Patti and Bruce) has been sworn in as a Jersey City firefighter.

*****

Ryan Murphy’s Hollywood is great. I don’t know how to feel about the fast and the loose and the nice made up endings like Once upon a time in Hollywood.  Will this be a trend??** Another great one on Netflix is, Have a good trip.

*****

Are there biopics in the works for Michael and Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, the Bee Gees and Bowie?? That is the word.

*****

Days alert: Look for Lani to become pregnant. Eli and Justin are both thinking marriage. Claire is back which will bring Shawn and Belle back. Gabi may be kidnapped. Word is that July will have a wedding every week that will lead to a funeral.  Allie Horton is all grown up and heading back with a secret. Will she be like Mom, Sami?? Brady thinks that ruining Titan will get back at Victor. Sonny and Will may get a chance at another child. Eve may be back later in the summer. And, C’mon Xander, do something wonderful to get your woman back. Lucas may be on the way back and Orpheus is leaving. ** Judi Evans (Adrienne) had a serious horseback riding accident on May 16. She had broken ribs, a collapsed lung and 2 chipped vertebrae. The good news was in the hospital they discovered a blood clot so the whole thing saved her life.

*****

Morton Buildings is being sued by 2 women for harassment and discrimination. One incident claims an employee said, “God created women by lining up all the men and castrating the stupid ones.” Another lawsuit was filed in 2009.**Thanks for the tip, Di.

*****

If you expect elementary school children to endure the trauma of active shooter drills for your freedoms, you can wear a mask to Costco. –Sara Elizabeth Dill

*****

House republicans have sued Pelosi to block proxy voting.

*****

Seth Rogan, Steve Carell and Ben Schwartz are donating funds to bailout Minneapolis protestors after the death of George Floyd.** The country has been turned upside down as another cop kills another black man. No need to rehash, we have all seen it. I wonder if those four horrible cops are proud of what they have done to their city. Could we finally have a tipping point in this time when racism is spotlighted with our racist President? After many incidents in just the past couple of weeks and everyone on edge with coronavirus, it has boiled over. Scary Clown threatens to start shooting as Minneapolis burns down. Burn down a police station, get a cop arrested (finally)? Seems worth it to me. The way the killer looked into the camera as if he was just so proud is gonna stick with us as it should.  ** A CNN crew were arrested live on the air but released later after Jeff Zucker spoke to Gov. Walz.**  Liberate Minnesota was the Trump tweet, well, they are working on it.** I am hearing people saying in all sincerity lately that it is time for the humans to go, we are ruining each other and the planet.

*****

If you have not seen the Killer Mike speech from Atlanta, you need to check it out.** Netflix, Hulu and Paramount are taking a stand and showing support for the Black lives matter movement.

*****

John Cusack put out video of police coming at him with batons and pepper sprayed him as he protested in Chicago. More than 1000 were arrested and it continues.** In Flint, Sheriff Chris Swanson and other police put down helmets and joined the protestors. Police in Schenectady took a knee and joined the march. The behavior is spreading and look what a difference it makes, could they be starting to get it?

*****

Never thought I’d say this but in light of everything that is happening, the DNC made a big mistake in not backing Berne Sanders. –Pete Buttigieg ** Ok, first, of course he is right but you helped set this all in motion. It is a bit late for that …or is it? Biden is not the OFFICIAL nom, the deal is not done yet. Will Bernie jump back in the race?? Perhaps we will soon see BERNE FOR PRESIDENT again.

*****

American carnage was a self -fulfilling prophecy, alas. –Susan Glasser

*****

Scary Clown 45 has designated Antifa a terrorist organization. ** There is no legal authority for designating a domestic group, any such designation would raise significant concerns. –ACLU

*****

In any season, police violence is an injustice, but its harm is elevated amidst the remarkable stress people are facing amidst covid-19. Even now, there is evidence of excessive police initiated force and unwarranted shootings of civilians, some of which have been fatal. –American Medical Association.

*****

Washington Week had a great discussion about how all the ills in US history have played out in 2020. Impeachment, pandemic, depression and civil unrest are all here at once.

*****

Word is that Trevor Noah has been proven much more popular than the other late night hosts since they have been at home.

*****

I predict the picture of the upside down flag with the backdrop of the burning liquor store will be the lasting image of the Trump Presidency.

*****

This is the Presidency George Wallace never had. –Max Boot

*****

Spanish flu, Polio, Aids, Covid-19: Why don’t people get any smarter? The masses (and sometimes those in charge) can get it wrong over and over again. From Dr.? Phil and Dr Oz and their cavalier attitude toward death to Rosie wanting her son to take a leave of absence from the grocery store, we just do not learn. Even before that, I can’t forget the woman who wanted to change her vote after she found out Buttigieg was married to a man. Is she even a dem? Do your research people! Respect others, people!! Have compassion, stop being so selfish and use your brains!!** Puerto Rico was a pre curser to the pandemic response.

*****

Amy Cooper Chris Cooper? WTF? Another liberal who is not really liberal.

*****

Crime in general is down and police shootings are up. And yes, now the opportunists are out of control and anger is boiling over but protests against police brutality causing police brutality is WRONG!

*****

Check out the book, What makes a marriage last, from Marlo Thomas and Phil Donahue.

*****

Ben Taub, Barry Blitt and Colson Whitehead have won the Pulitzer Prize.

*****

Word is that Nick Cage will play Joe Exotic of Tiger King fame. Of course he will.

*****

I refuse to wear a mask because God did not have us born with one.- Nino Vitali** How many people have you heard say, “The President isn’t wearing a mask, so I don’t have to.”

*****

It looks like Apple will partner with Paramount for Scorsese’s adaptation of Killers of the Flower Moon.

*****

Oh my: Scary Clown is having a twitter feud with twitter!  He has to, of course, lash out and now signs an executive order targeting social media. He is going on about section 230 which gives immunity to social media companies against being sued over content.  It could curb liability protection. Experts say it will only encourage lawsuits because he does not want to be edited.

*****

If Native American tribes were counted as states, the five most infected states in the US would all be native tribes. –Nicholas Kristof

*****

Did ya see that Jeff Epstein doc from James Patterson. It is lays blame in all directions. Why does it seem like all these old guys on there with all that money have such yellow teeth?

*****

Lindsey Graham is urging Federal judges in their mid to late 60’s to step down so they can fill the spots with republicans.

*****

Richard McGuire tried to live at Disney World in a zoological park that was closed down.

*****

Caterpillar, Levi, Black and Decker and others have cut jobs but gave millions to shareholders.

*****

Axl Rose and Steve Mnuchin had a twitter feud.

*****

China announced plans to introduce a National Security law in Hong Kong. The law enables mainland Chinese National security agencies to operate in the city for the first time. Using a rarely used constitutional method, they bypassed Hong Kong legislature. Since the former British colony became a semi-autonomous region of China more than 20 years ago, they have manages its own affairs. The law will affect media, education, politics and international business. Many acts will now be criminalized. Hong Kong is party to international treaties guaranteeing civil liberties that China is not. The U.S. is urging Bejing to reconsider. Pro- democracy demonstrators in Hong Kong were tear gassed as they yelled, “Liberate Hong Kong, revolution of our times.”

*****

The Michael Flynn charges were dropped.

*****

Holyoke soldier’s home in Massachusetts lost 70 souls to Coronavirus. AP photographer David Goldman got a projector and cast big pictures the vets onto the homes of loved ones. Each one had a story including one vet who was sent to Nuremberg to guard Nazis. He claimed to have filled Hermann Goring’s glass with toilet water.

*****

The swimming Dinosaur, Spinosaurus has been getting a lot of attention.  The Sahara desert which was once massive rivers kept the first intact aquatic dinosaur.  With a snout, teeth and jaw like a croc, it is so far the only known kind of dinosaur that lived in the water.  The 50 foot long bizarre fin-like tail is like a giant paddle.  Paleontologists encourage others to have a look at other fossils to see if there are more.

*****

Octavia Spencer is said to have been telling everyone she is a year younger than she is. She is turning 50.

*****

The $69 million ventilator scam. Really? The White House heard from a guy who told them he could supply the product so the WH told NY to order them and stood behind the guy but it was a scam. Scary Clown sure loves his shady people, intentional or not.** A Florida woman, Rebecca Jones claims that she was asked to fudge the numbers to make reopening look better. ** Georgia moved their dates around on a graph to make their cases seem flattened. ** For 17 months, Florida investigated voter fraud for Trump and Gov. Scott. They found NOTHING!!

*****

Amazon stock price is up 25% yet they have become notorious for the terrible way they treat their workers. Bezos is set to become a trillionaire.

*****

We have to remember that order comes from chaos. True enhancements can come from large scale crisis. What will we learn from this one? This is a warning!!** Universal health care? No more buffets? ** Prices will probably go up everywhere what with the closings and all the extra cleaning. I hope this means that hotel bedspreads will be cleaned after every stay.  It looks like there may be no cocktails or food on planes.

*****

Take a virtual tour of the statue of liberty. All the fun without all the swaying.

*****

Local PBS stations are making it easier to learn. Students will be able to put on a channel for lessons that does not need cable or internet. Woo Hoo!!

*****

Insiders say that Trump threatened to sue his campaign manager because he did not agree with his assessment and the poll numbers in a 2 day rant.** Just one more example of Scary Clown double talk. Then: Less testing, less positives. Now: So much testing is a badge of honor.**Doctors without Borders are now here, not the third world countries that they usually help, it is US.

*****

Haven’t we had enough of powerful men being accused? A female Dem candidate would have been nice and Bernie did not seem to have any baggage that way either.

*****

Will the Senate see fit to ok some more stimulus $? 4 trillion to prop up Wall Street seems per the usual. Enough for them, let’s take care of those small businesses and those really in need.

*****

Thao and the get down stay down is one of the best in this internet entertainment era.

*****

Check out Stars in the House with Tony Shalhoub and others.

*****

The Detectorists on Acorn TV is a great little show!!

*****

Happy Day! There is a new season of At Home with Amy Sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

It looks like Pier 1 will permanently close as well as JC Penney, J Crew, Sears and Neiman Marcus.

*****

Check out the wonderful, This is about Humanity!!

*****

Have U seen the trailer for The King of Staten Island?? OMG Pete Davidson, Steve Buschemi and Marisa Tomei , just to name a few!! I can’t fucking wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*****

Bill Maher looked really high on his 5-22-20 show. This working from home makes him much more mellow!!

*****

3 Russian doctors treating coronavirus have fallen out of windows in about a weeks time.** Russia boasts that it has more ventilators per capita than the U.S. After they made fun of us, on May 22, the first shipment of U.S. ventilators headed to Russia. They are a gift from Trump and the U.S. taxpayers. –Julia Davis

*****

State Department Inspector General Steve Linick is out.  Was he investigating Pompeo?  Trump never knows anything about any of it. Why are all the protectors of the rule of law thrown out?  ** Was Pompeo throwing lavish foreign policy dinners with Reba, Dale Jr. and the owners of that horrid chicken sandwich place? ** The clean water rule has been suspended which cuts protections for most of the country’s wetlands.

*****

The market facilitation program has been helping small farmers over the last few years in a $28 billion bailout. Trump’s sanctions brought this on and the corona virus has made it worse.  Mostly the money has helped bankers and bigger farms. Much like the stimulus $ that was earmarked for small business, there are loopholes that screw up the ‘rules.’ The cap is not being followed like they may say because the $ is going to “investors” in the farm and often not the actual farmer who works on a smaller scale. A small farm run by family members may not get the bailout. It seems to be more important to get a good lawyer who can manipulate the paperwork.  Sad that taxpayer $ is used this way.

*****

Just in time, the Space Force flag and plans for the super duper missile have been unveiled. WTF??

*****

Paula Poundstone is a woman I knew I liked. She was recently talking about not liking couches. I thought I was the only one, People are always telling me how much they love their couches and I don’t get it.

*****

Jeff Gibbs and Michael Moore are upset after Youtube pulled their doc, Planet of the Humans. After 8.3 million views, there was a copyright claim by Toby Smith of about 4 seconds of footage.  Now , this is not the first time that Moore has had problems with content in one of his movies.  Many have claimed there is a lot of fiction in this latest venture. I think I would just remove the possible copyright infringement and move on. It can now be seen on Vimeo.

A Florida law that restricts felon voting is found unconstitutional by a federal judge.** The RNC filed a lawsuit against California to stop mailing ballots to registered voters.

*****

R.I.P. Little Richard, Roy Horn, Jerry Stiller, Sam Lloyd, Ann Sullivan, Mike Cogswell, Michael Keenan, Shirley Knight, Irrfan Khan, Hana Kimura, Forrest Compton, Jimmy Cobb, George Floyd, Ken Osmomd, all the corona victims, Lynn Shelton, Richard Herd, Larry Kramer, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, Anthony James, Fred Willard and Carolyn Busch.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e43

I have no idea what Sam’s ad was about but that was amazing. I love how you can tell they’re such good friends that they can tease each other than way.

Oh god here we go

WALL OF FIYAAAHHHH

okay okay it’s fine they’re gonna be fine

OKAY BEAU GOOD RUN THAT BOOK TO THE PLANK KING

“but what she can do is control water” FRIIIICK

bad roll bad roll please bad roll

AHHHHHHHH CALEB FUCKING UP AVANTIKA WITH A COUNTERSPELL

MY BOY

LIAM’S FACE WAS THE BEST

matt no

YEEEEEEESSSSSS

MY BOYYYYYY

IM SO PROUD OF MY SON RIGHT NOW GUYS

“now you can die happy” TRAVIS

DIMENSION DOOR YAAAS

they have been using the break well for planning

Against Caleb fuck

Liam is so tense it looks painful

no

GET OUT OF THERE ALL OF YOU

FJORD GETTIN’ MY BOY OUT YAAAAS

Get Nott out get Nott out!

NOTT NO RUN

OH SHIIIT

RUN CREW OF THE MISTAKE RUUUN

They are playing so smart right now I’m so proud of them

CALEB NO

FUCK

CAD GET TO HIM

guys Caleb can’t die I won’t be able to handle it

I literally haven’t been this stressed since Molly died

NOTT NO

TAKE HER HEAD OFF, YASHA

“Let’s get weird” I like the sound of that

SUMON GREATER DEMON YAHHHHH

SJORD SUMMONING A GIANT DEMON ALKSALKDFSDGLKJ

Liam and Travis constantly slapping each other in excitement is the CUTEST FUCKING THING

what does that mean phantasmal force

DID IT WORK

The dice gods are smiling on my children tonight and I have never been so grateful

don’t lose the demon don’t lose the demon

okay good

wait Beau just wait

Travis’s excited little hug he gives MArisha

THEIR FRIENDSHIP JUST GIVES ME LIFE YOU GUYS

Liam’s rage is all of us

Cad, darling, how about you get to Caleb plz

Okay that’s fine bless Yasha and Nott and yourself that’s good too

Fjord coming in with the healing potion to save Caleb hell yes

Caleb don’t fireball now that’s not good

not what you wanna do not babe

you know what I changed my mind BURN THAT SHIP DOWN

Poor Bouldergut.

Daaaamn Caleb.

Welp Caleb’s gonna have a flashback.

Oh jeeze.

I can’t imagine how Beau feels waiting while all this happens behind her

Nott honey no

That was somehow even more stressful than the fight with the Iron Shepards when Molly died

I have literally never been so worked up from an episode of Critical Role you guys

Okay Beau be cool about this

OH GOD

IT WAS A TEST

FUCK FUCK FUCK

THIS IS BAAAAAD

oh damn girl you playing it hard

lie well baby girl lie well

Jumanji Costco again

This is NOT going as well as I thought it would

I’m tense again Matt why couldn’t you just give us a break

Liam’s reading his book and it worries me a little bit

I’m literally so worried about how this is going to end

Oh dang Beau spilling some half truths with a lovely 22 roll

“As you have murdered a majority of her crew” yeahhhhh they did at that

Avantika you liaaaaaar

AVANTIKA YOU LYING WITCH

AHHH THAT NAT20

oh god oh god please let this work

HAHAHA SHE FAILED HALLELUJAH

ohhhhhhhhh myyyyyy goddddd

I CANT FUCKING BREATHE

oh god okay

just banish them from the island

just banish them. please. a “if i ever see you again you’re dead” thing

THANK GOD

I’m literally shaking

Snake eyes lol Laura paying for all the good rolls

“We don’t have to pigeon this” xD

Listen I’m 100000% happy to have a resource management game for a while. I need a break from the insanity.

I’m so glad Orli made it out alive

Jester is so taking Avantika’s clothes lol

Caleb thinking about Fjord <3

C: “We are the three assholes in this group”

Nott: “I - I’m asshole adjacent”

C: “Fjord’s going to find this very difficult.”

N: “We’ll take care of him like we always do.”

“He’s looking for a father, he exposed himself to this woman for us.” I’m having a lot of feelings about Caleb worrying about Fjord and understanding that he’s going through hard things, and understanding what he had to do with Avantika and how it must have affected him.

Caleb and Fjord are back at the top of my list of my favorite relationships in the game.

I’m back to being lowkey WidoFjord trash I feel like. Oops.

Oh. Fuck. Wait.

Is Fjord’s accent to sound like Vandrin?? Is that something that was established at some point and I missed it???

Jester did just say “If we find him will you stop sounding like him?” didn’t she??

IS IT SOMETHING JUST BETWEEN THEM??

holy shit it is

WOW IM REALLY SAD NOW THAT’S WHY FJORD’S ACCENT CHANGES??

They’re still after the wreck. I was kinda hoping that they would just be like “okay let’s leave it buried there”.

But at the same time I think they need to go. So Fjord can get closure with the whole Vandrin thing.

Why do they all have these crazy cool spells that we’re only just hearing about

Caleb’s like “I just got my cat back but if you need an octopus I guess….. ;__;”

Caleb is so cute and proud

Hi yes y’all please remember the ghost woman

Fjord’s like “LET’S GO YEAH” and everyone else is like Fjord plz we need to rest first

Cad: “I’ve been putting the fruit in everyone’s food for like a week” I would die

GUYS PLEASE REMEMBER THE GHOST WOMAN

Oh good I’m glad Beau remembered

Oh I’m glad she remembered to take Sprinkle out before he could die :P

I love how they bought pets, lost one, left one, and constantly forget one

Oh god here we go into the ocean

They’re at the bottom of the ocean this is amazing and terrifying

oh god

it’s a whale it’s fine

I love that

Matt you make everyone so amazing

Cad waving at the whales. So pure.

I’m ready for the Fjord feels you guys

JUST AS MATT CUTS IT OF COURSE

Man this was insane, intense, I was so stressed for the first two hours.

I’m really eager to see how things go with Fjord. He’s been through a lot, first the guilt over Molly’s death and their treatment by the Shepherds, and then all of this, and also the stuff from his backstory with Vandrin, and the sudden acquisition of magic, and finding out the magic came from a probably evil banished god. I’m just saying he’s gonna need some hugs.

God so good. Good good good good episode.

[covid19updater]

COVID19 Updates: 12/30/2020

China:  Study: Number of infections in Wuhan was ten times higher According to a Chinese study, the number of corona infections when the pandemic broke out in Wuhan was possibly ten times as high as previously stated. According to the study by the Chinese Center for Disease Control (CDC), around 4.43 percent of Wuhan's eleven million residents had developed antibodies against the novel coronavirus by April. According to the study, this corresponds to around 480,000 corona infections in the metropolis by April. That is almost ten times as many as the approximately 50,000 cases officially named so far.

Switzerland:  SWISS CANTON SAYS IS AWARE OF A PERSON WHO RECEIVED A COVID-19 SHOT AND LATER DIED, SAYS HAS REFERRED MATTER TO SWISS DRUGS REGULATOR SWISSMEDIC. LINK

Tennessee:  Ambulances left waiting hours to drop off patients at Memphis hospitals, firefighters’ union says LINK

Arkansas:  Marion, Arkansas police chief dies after COVID-19 battle LINK

UK:  Hundreds more people dying at home than normal, latest ONS coronavirus report shows LINK

RUMINT (UK):  I’m told a major London hospital has told its senior medical staff to brace themselves for the peak in admissions which they believe still won’t come for another fortnight.  I’m also told that in one London hospital, psychiatric nurses and other mental health staff have been redeployed to provide support to staff on ICU. One staff member tells me: “Nurses are walking off the wards in tears, some have resigned. They are dealing with PTSD... .from the multiple traumatic deaths they are witnessing and then having to go back for more. We need everyone to be more cautious. People need to avoid mixing and stay at home. We can’t take much more of this. From an anaesthetist at a London hospital: At various points over the Xmas wkend every CPAP machine (assists breathing, often used to see if patient can cope without intubation, sedation and ventilation) was in use across entire trust. This is a very bad situation to be in. ITU is being covered partly by nurses who are NOT trained in ITU nursing. In some instances paediatric nurses. Many of these people are doing a great job under almost impossible circumstances. But they are not trained for this. The wards are completely overloaded with covid patients. Every night was worse, every night trying to work out how many we could take to to ITU and who would have to cope on the ward for longer. Morale is very low. We all feel the government is continually since April about 2-4 weeks behind what is obvious on the ground. Anaesthesia and intensive care doctors are getting desperate text messages to help with hospitals that are at the epicentre - East London.” To add some empirical context to these experiences consider a few things 1) NHS had been increasingly struggling in winter before 2) A&E wait times have been getting worse for yrs 3) staff shortages were a problem per-pandemic- eg we went into this with 40,000 nursing vacancies. This is why the Nightingales aren’t being used. Because there just aren’t enough staff to fill them. In the spring we rode it out because a) it was spring and b) staff were fresher. 9 months on they are physically and mentally spent and it’s winter. They’re pushing water uphill. The fact that winter would be so bad for the NHS was predictable and predicted. It’s why people like Andrew Heyward said in Nov that Xmas relaxation would add fuel to the fire. It’s also why some public health experts said that early December return to the tiers was a mistake. I’ve seen a lot of you say that you want to see all this on TV. Believe me, so would I. I’m trying to negotiate access to hospitals but securing it isn’t easy. Rest assured, am doing my best. In meantime am technically still on holiday so returning to that for a few days to gear up for what is going to be a v important few months ahead. NHS staff please do keep getting in touch via DM to tell me what’s happening in your hospital. As ever, always in confidence. Do not listen to idiots who say this is all fake or exaggerated. There is a real crisis going in some of our hospitals right now.

Louisiana:  Asked if Congressman-Elect Letlow had any underlying conditions that would have made his death more likely, Dr. G.E. Ghali said: "None. All COVID related."

US:  U.S HITS NEW DAILY HIGH WITH 3,725 VIRUS DEATHS

Texas:  NEW: At least three shipments of Moderna’s Covid-19 vaccine arrived in Texas with signs that the shots had strayed from their required temperature range, prompting a delay in other deliveries

California:  LA doctor identifies case of coronavirus-related psychosis in patient LINK

COLORADO: HAS 24 ADDITIONAL SUSPICIOUS CASES OF COVID UK VARIANT

US:  CDC says new Covid strain in U.S. could further stress 'already heavily burdened' hospitals

California:  As COVID slams LA’s hospitals, patients are “piled in administrative hallways, stuffed in the corners, hanging over chairs,” said one healthcare worker. “It was like practicing Civil War medicine. It was the worst shift of my life.”

South Africa: December 30 Confirmed cases: 1,039,161 (+17,710 in 24 hrs) Deaths: 28,033 (+465 in 24 hrs)

US:  Dawn Wells, ‘Gilligan’s Island’s’ Mary Ann, Dies of COVID at 82 LINK

OHIO: TO NO LONGER ORDER QUARANTINE FOR COVID-EXPOSED STUDENTS

China:  BREAKING - China's President Xi Jinping ordered tight controls on coronavirus research hampering experts from identifying the origins of #COVID19, the AP has found.

Georgia: COVID-19, 12/30 Along with cases, growing hospitalizations and positivity approaching 20% are bad signs. Deaths starting to manifest. Cases: 654,743, +9,450 Deaths: 10,846, +67 Current Hospitalizations: 4,560, +123 PCR Positive %: 19.9%

California:  *NEWSOM SAYS U.K. VIRUS STRAIN FOUND IN CALIFORNIA: NBC REPORTER

World:  Exactly 1 year ago today: An 'urgent notice' from the Wuhan Health Commission is shared on social media, reporting cases of unidentified pneumonia in connection with a seafood market. It was the first word about the COVID-19 outbreak.

California:  Several #frontlineworkers at @LLUMedCenter test positive for #COVID19 even after receiving the first round of the @pfizer shot. #NBCLA

Germany:  #BREAKING Germany faces 'difficult times' with virus in 2021: Merkel

US:  New US cases raise fears UK Covid variant is already widespread LINK

UK:  London doctor is 'taken aback' by number of young people with NO PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS now suffering in hospitals with Covid LINK

RUMINT (UK):  Big shift in the UK government tonight. Schools could be shut for six months as new varient begins its agressive assault on young and healthy people. Army is to begin helping police in London with law enforcement. Hospitals are now overwhelmed and they are keeping the numbers quiet.

UK:  NHS hospital staff illness or absence up to three times usual level LINK

France:  France to deploy 100,000-strong force to police New Year’s Eve - as it happened LINK

US:  COVID update: Nearly 3,900 new deaths - New cases: 224,638 - Positivity rate: 14.4% (-1.3) - In hospital: 125,220 (+534) - In ICU: 23,069 (+231) - New deaths: 3,884 - Vaccinated: 2.6M (+461,982)

Washington:  Coronavirus infects nearly 150 Costco employees at Washington state store, location to remain open LINK

UK:  Birmingham hospital issues alert as it cannot maintain safe nurse staffing levels in intensive care LINK

Germany: COVID update: More than 1,000 new deaths for second day in a row - @risklayer - New cases: 28,130 - Positivity rate: 13.1% - In hospital: 27,846 (-49) - In ICU: 5,631 (-14) - New deaths: 1,052

Colorado:  BREAKING: Advocate Aurora now says an employee at its Grafton hospital intentionally removed the Moderna COVID-19 vaccine from a refrigerator resulting in nearly 500 doses having to be thrown away

Texas: The Dallas Area’s Two Largest Airports Have Been Temporarily Closed To All Flights, At Least In Part Due To COVID-19’s Spread Among Air Control Staff. LINK

Florida:  Nikki Fried to Gov. DeSantis: Mobilize the Florida National Guard to distribute COVID-19 vaccines LINK

World:  New Covid variant linked to higher viral load in respiratory samples LINK

Argentina:  Argentina begins COVID vaccine campaign with Russian shots LINK

Thailand:  Thailand becomes first country to ban eating and drinking on domestic flights due to COVID-19 LINK

[stephicness]

A long rant in case you want to read, because I quit my job today! C:

So I think some of you guys may have known this before, but I had started this job in around July. Applied, got recommended by a worker there who had gone to high school with me, and boom, the job was mine as soon as I met the boss. It’s not a particularly hard job, to be honest. We get the overstocked/returned items from Costco, process and check them to see if they’re quality enough to resell, and then sell it online or at our store base. Simple enough!

Upon being hired, I was promised some pretty basic things as apart of the job: $10/hr fulltime, a really good raise and a manager position as I worked with the company, my own office space, and at the most basic of it all, respect for being a college graduate and a great worker. It was simple demands, 

I specialized in inventory oversight and listings for online products for sale on Amazon and Ebay, but I was hired mostly to just help out the manager and assistant manager at the time. Grunt work like picking inventory to help with shipping, cleaning and folding clothing, and eventually listing products for online sales. It was an easy job to do, and fun at first.

But then little things added that just made it worse as momentum picked up.

First off, despite being promised fulltime hours, I was docked immediately to parttime. Not by much, as instead of 8-5, I’d work 8-4. But when I eventually lose 50$ a week, which I could be dedicating to my student loans, it definitely adds up as time passes. So she compromised with me for 8-4:30, but nothing over 40 hours. If I work any more, I’d get in trouble. If I work any less, I’d also get in trouble. So to compensate, it was hour-long lunches to remedy my lack of break at this job.

So then time rolls around, and within the three months that I worked there, a grand total of five people were fired or left the business. One because of differences in management, one because of better opportunities (and a dispute over her time to spend with her newborn child), one because she was stealing from the business, one because of work ethic being shoddy, and another because she received no benefits after two years of working there (and because college was a more important calling. Good for her!). Already that seemed to be alot of warning signs. One person in a few months is understandable. But five? And one of them being fired the day I got hired? Well then!

So then amongst the five people, the assistant manager and manager left/got fired, leaving me and my co-worker of a month less than me, to take on the duties of managing the inventory, listing products, doing online customer service, shipping assistantship, and alot more. I figured because the manager was gone and my boss was often busy that maybe I could help a bit more. Check-in with people during the morning to see what needs to be done, what I need to get done, and if anyone needed help throughout the day. General things that a good worker would do, I hope?

But no. Instead, I gave off the vibe that I was trying to become the boss in place of my boss. For showing leadership traits and for wanting to know what my co-workers needed in the warehouse. Instead, that came off as too boss and as if I was superior than everyone else. And I’ll admit that I’m slightly guilty of it because I know for a fact that I work hard and do my best to be an optimal worker. Take it into perspective too VIA these scenarios:

1) In the time it takes me to take inventory out of our system for shipping -- through three - five aisles (depending on help that day) and a hundred products -- it takes my co-worker that same time to get through one aisle picking the same things.

2) I can list up to 300 products (AKA 15-20 boxes worth of products) in a day with the right focus. This includes having helped with shipping and tending to other tasks for the day. My co-workers before could only do somewhere between 5-10 boxes a day.

3) I am one of the only people who knows how to navigate the new system products and locate them under their skews and tags. I am also one of the only people (sans the boss) to recognize a product’s look with you just telling me the name of it.

4) When receiving inventory and inspecting it for listing, a palette containing 40-50 apple boxes can be processed by me in just a single day -- if it’s a good day. On average, it takes the rest of our team two days to do such if I’m not helping.

It’s little things in the warehouse, but all tasks that you can be good at if you’re efficient at your job and you work hard.

But instead, it felt like the work that I put in was only demeaned each day. Mundane issues were blown out of proportion, and I wouldn’t even have been there to make the mistake. But alas, it was often blamed on me. It was the whole ‘You’re not the manager, but you should assume more responsibilities like one.’

All while my co-worker, the one whom worked less time than me, was revered as the one who could do no wrong. Given tasks and radiating an air of superiority because his tasks were ‘harder’ in comparison to me. Work is gauged differently, and his work was no less hard or easier than mine. And yet, it felt as if he could tell me what to do when I couldn’t. As if he could brag about his successes in the warehouse and be praised, as I state mine and be told that I could do better.

Perhaps the sad tragedy of showing too much work ethic and being expected to show more than that.

But what really irked me wasn’t that I was forced into a position without benefits of cushion time, or that I was scolded for trying to be a good worker and leader -- it was the lack of respect that I got as not only just a worker, but a human being as well.

The least a person can do is keep their promises once they made them. But she took away my hours, she denied me any opportunity for this ‘management’ position that she eagerly encouraged, she took away my office because she viewed my isolation as something that made it harder for her to peek over and see what I’m doing (micromanaging, but she just calls it ‘being in the loop’). And worst of all, if I try to object to it and voice my concerns of the matter, I’m seen as ungrateful. Someone with attitude. 

Oh, I’m not even going to deny that I have an atrocious attitude. When you see my in real life and I’m having a bad day, boy howdy do you know I’m having a bad day. But when you wake up every morning and go to a job that you know doesn’t treat you well, that doesn’t pay you enough, that causes you so much mental exhaustion to where you can’t even bring yourself to smile anymore -- even the kindest or fakest of people can’t keep that facade up for long. The flat-out favoritism of my co-worker over me is exasperating, the petty things I get in trouble for, the potential of ‘doing better’ even though you’re trying to hardest. It really wears you down. Especially when you consider that your boss only views you as a slave, unwilling to help you if you need help, and hell -- unwilling to pay their employees on a national holiday out of courtesy.

Not to mention, as my added little salt, I worked there for almost six months now. Out of those six months, I only requested one day off. One. Unpaid time off on a Friday after completing the rest of my tasks for the week and helping my co-worker set-up for his workday in my absence. And during that single day off, according to another co-worker who tells me the juicy gossip, I was...

Accused of wrongly listing products on purpose.

Accused of doing my job wrong, again, on purpose.

Accused of misplacing items that should have been found VIA the new system with ease.

Complained about for not being there a total of 5 times throughout the day.

Dissed for having such an easy job at listing products with UPC codes over my co-worker, who specializes with products without one.

And then the days coming back, I was then complained to for not being there a total of 3 more times and then accused of ‘not asking for the day off properly,’ after having given my boss a week and a half-worth’s notice before ultimately taking the day off.

And this is one day out of the five months there. In comparison to my co-worker, whom has taken at least two every month.

Perhaps it’s petty of me to complain about a bad boss, because ultimately, it’s not the last job I’ll ever have. But it’s nice to be able to get it off my chest and finally quit this job. Now it’ll let me find a new job in a field that I hopefully can do well in. If not that, perhaps I can focus back on my artwork and make a profit from that once more. Because one thing I noticed while working for this company is that I lost my creative drive... Have you noticed it too? I don’t make as much content, I’m so unmotivated and unhappy that I just can’t bring myself to write, or draw, or make graphics -- and it’s detrimental to a person who strove to make a career out of being able to do all of this.

But now, I’m free from this job and able to get my footing once again and focus on finding a job that I will enjoy and pursue my intended career goals for the future. Who knows? Perhaps now I can focus on my commissions and working on those stories/games once more!

I have high hopes for the future ahead now. But one step at a time until then, right?

[travelingtheusa]

NEW YORK

8 Sep 2020 (Tue) – We spent yesterday getting ready to move.  We drove to the lawyer’s office in Port Jefferson to sign a temporary Power of Attorney for Travis.  Since we won’t be here for the closing on his house, we are giving him authority to sign for us.  That was debacle!  First, the secretary asked for ID with a picture and our address on it.  We gave her our New York driver licenses.  They have our Texas mailing address on them.  She said that was no good.  She then instructed us to send her copies of our passports.  When we got back home, I did that.  She said Paul’s passport said New York but mine said New Jersey.  I had to explain that there is no residential address on a passport; that the states are where we were born.  She then asked for a Costco card or some other ID that had a picture and New York address on it.  When we couldn’t provide any, she mumbled something about having to do a tax form for Texas.  We are certainly hopeful that Travis & Sam don’t have to pay taxes to Texas!

     After the lawyer’s office, we drove into Port Jefferson and had lunch at one of the many restaurants in this charming port town.  The waiter gave us the menus, stated that he was the only one working today, and he would come when called.  The tables were set up outside on the parking lot.  There were about 6 tables he had to serve.  The service was very slow but the meal was good.

     We invited Caiden to come over for dinner. He enjoyed it.  Unfortunately, we got a message saying my nephew’s funeral will be on Saturday.  We were expecting it to take place next Saturday.  We were going to camp in PA for a week, then drive to Rhode Island/Massachusetts.   Now, we had to call campgrounds and move things around.  Fortunately, we were able to get 5 days at a Navy campground in Newport, RI, as well as move the days we were going to PA.  Whew.  Otherwise, we would have lost our deposit at the PA campground.

6 Sep 2020 (Sun) – It’s been a busy week.  Kenny went to the clinic and had his arm looked at.  The doctor said he has a second degree burn but didn’t do anything with the injury.  Just told him to keep it clean and dry.

     I started physical therapy on my Achilles tendon.  I went for therapy on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.  They start with heat and stimulation, then I do some exercises, and it ends with ice and stimulation.  They also do some ultrasound.  The place is big and it kind of feels like an assembly line operation. Oh, well.  I won’t be there for long.

     Miranda’s car had the thermostat and rheostat replaced as well as three coils in the engine.  It cost $900. Our next door neighbor, Dave, owns an auto body shop and did the work for us.  We brought the car back to Miranda and Kenny and told them that’s it. No more money will be spent on that car. Dave suggested we put it in a lot, douse it in gasoline, and set it on fire.  It’s basically shot.

     We took Caiden and went over Susan & Bill’s house on Saturday.  It was our last swim for the summer.  He had a great time.  We are all a little sad to see the season end.  Earlier in the week, Susan and I went to West Hampton for lunch. They recently renovated the town and she wanted to look it over.  It was very new looking.  

     After church today, we went over Travis & Sam’s.  Today is Travis’ 39th birthday.  We enjoyed a barbecue and ice cream cake.  We gave him a storage device with all our photo albums scanned on it. Hope he likes it.

 30 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  Attendance is still sparse but the way the pews are chained off, it’s probably for the best.  After church, we stopped at Bagel Boss for bagels.  The deli counter had 6 people on line and the bagel line only had 1 person so I opted for the bagel line.  What. A.  Mistake.  The girl who waited on me was so new that she had to ask another worker what a rye and garlic bagel looked like.  She was sooooooo slow that everyone in the deli line not only went through but several people after where I would have been had I gotten on that line.  Serves me right for being in a hurry.

     After church, we drove to Travis & Sam’s, stopping at a couple of furniture stores on the way to look for new recliners.  We are limited by the size of the space that the recliners would fit into. The kids are growing fast.  The baby is such a happy little guy.  Big smiles and laughs all the time.  Paul and I picked up KFC chicken for dinner.  It was a nice visit.

     Miranda borrowed the truck at 7:30 to go pick Kenny up at work.  Their car is not working right now.  There is some kind of blockage in the cooling system.  Caiden and I played a few games.  When Kenny got home, Miranda changed the dressing on his arm from the scalding he took yesterday.  He has a very large blister and a lot of redness on his arm.  Miranda and I convinced him to go to the clinic tomorrow.  He probably should have the blister drained and get put on an antibiotic.  

 29 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We went to church today to attend a memorial service for June Wertz, a friend of ours.  Her husband, Bob, invited us to join their travel club some years ago.  One of the members of their club had passed away just before the small group was going to camp out at Wildwood State Park.  They invited us to take his camping spot. During the 8-10 years we camped with them, it was always on Long Island.  The members were all up in years and didn’t go off-Island to camp.  It was a fun group and I wish we could have known them in their younger, traveling days.  At any rate, we certainly enjoyed the time we spent with Bob & June and the rest of them.

     Miranda and Kenny had a serious incident yesterday.  They were at KFC when they noticed smoke coming from the engine. They popped the hood, looked around, and opened the radiator cap.  Both of them were scalded, Kenny pretty badly.  They are monitoring his condition to determine whether his burns are bad enough to seek medical help.

 28 Aug 2020 (Fri) – I drove to Ronkonkoma to visit with my cousin, Claude, today.  He has been experiencing medical issues for a while now.  He has gone from 220 lbs. to 175 lbs.  He is looking old and sick.  I fear for his well-being.  I visited for about an hour then the nurse came in to see him so I left.

     Paul spent the day repairing the steps to the back deck.  He poured some concrete at the base a few days ago and had Caiden put his name, date, and footprint in it.  

 27 Aug 2020 (Thu) – I drove out to Southampton today.  It was almost an hour and a half drive.  When I arrived for my 10:30 a.m. appointment, the receptionist told me I was scheduled for 11:30 a.m.  The dentist didn’t get me in until almost 12 noon.  I was seeing him for a consultation.  He is an endodontist who specializes in root canals and oral surgery. He didn’t see anything that needs immediate attention.  Furthermore, he said that he conforms to the recommendations of the American Dental Association and doesn’t believe that metal in the mouth or root canals are inherently bad.  He suggested that I leave everything as it is unless I am in pain.  It was a disappointing consult.

      I stopped at CVS to pick up my prescriptions from the dermatologist, the neurologist to get copies of the test results for my records, and at Shop Rite for some groceries.  I got home in time to put everything away and turn around to make my 4:00 p.m. appointment for physical therapy.  That was also a somewhat disappointing experience.  I was brought in, asked a bunch of questions by someone who said she was a physical therapist, and advised that I would get some exercises to do. Today’s appointment was just heat and stimulation.  An aide put the electrodes on my foot and wrapped it in a hot towel.  She said the therapist would be in to turn on the stim. After 15 minutes, I flagged down a passing therapist to see if she could find the gal that was supposed to turn my stim on.  After 5 minutes, she came in and said she thought the aide would turn it on.  They seemed very disorganized and uncommunicative.   I am scheduled for physical therapy 3 days next week.  We’ll see how that goes.

     When I came out of the office, I crossed the street to pick up a few things at Best Market that I didn’t get at ShopRite.  It was a full day of running around.  Whew!

 26 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I went to the dermatologist this morning.  The oncologist told me that the chemo can cause skin cancer and to get a skin exam once a year.  So, here I am at my one-year check.  The exam went well and I was given a clean bill of health.

     At 1:50 p.m. I went to see the orthopedist that I was referred to by the podiatrist.  I have an interstitial tear in the Achilles heel fiber, not the tendon.  There are three ways to handle it – by physical therapy, by surgery, or by an experimental program that takes your blood, mixes platelets with it then injects it in the injury site.  Insurance will not cover the cost.  I opted for physical therapy.  He gave me a script and I made an appointment with a nearby therapist.

     We went out for dinner to Texas Roadhouse.  The food was good.  We forgot our leftovers.  That must happen at least half the time we plan to take leftovers home. Aaaarrgh!  

 25 Aug 2020 (Tue) – No doctors today!   I ordered dulse flakes from Amazon.  Travis called to ask for help.  He was turned down for a rental because a credit report stated they had been late on their last 8 mortgage payments.  This is incorrect.  I went on the webpage and saw that their payments were on time.  Samantha called Equifax to correct the report but was told they only reported what the mortgage company gave them.  She called the mortgage company and was told Equifax had to correct the record.  A big, fat bureaucratic run around!

    I spent a good part of the day on the phone with the mortgage company trying to get a letter that simply stated that their payments have been on time all year.  The last agent I spoke with told me they are restricted in free-form correspondence because of a contract they have with USAA.  They can only send certain forms.  He did offer to send a transaction record that showed all payments were made.  Unfortunately, it does not say the payments were on time.  

    In the meantime, I was trying to get an appointment with the dentist and getting a refill for Paul for a medication.  I finally landed an appointment with the dentist for Monday and the doctor’s office placed the refill order directly with CVS.  I did get to finish burning one box of records. Only 5 more to go!

     Travis called later and told me he offered to pay one year’s rent up front and was waiting for the rental agent’s reply.  He’s got a job offer and the new boss said he would look into putting the money up until Travis sold the house.  If he does that, Travis better give this guy 110%.  He doesn’t know Travis from a stranger on the street and is willing to put up $23,000?  We will see.

     Miranda and Kenny went out tonight.  I offered to watch Caiden so they could have a date night out somewhere. It isn't much but I’m sure they haven’t had a chance for private time since this whole COVID-thing started. Kenny’s mother and grandmother are keeping their distance and they have no other childcare set up.  

 24 Aug 2020 (Mon) – We went food shopping this morning.  I did laundry in the house.  At 1:45 p.m., I left for an appointment with the biological dentist in Manhasset.  On the way there, the office called to say the dentist was running late and to come in at 4 p.m.  So I detoured and stopped at Sherry’s Market in Babylon.  I wanted to pick up some barley grass juice powder and dulse flakes. They did not have the dulse.  The clerk said I might find it in Wild by Nature down the road in West Islip.  So I drove down John Street and into the strip mall.  They had dulse granules but no flakes.  Not sure if that was OK, I didn’t buy it.

     Finally, it was time to stop dawdling and drive to the dentist.  I got there at 3:50 p.m. and called the office to let them know I was there.  They told me to come right up.  I didn’t wait 10 minutes (BIG difference from last visit) and was shown into the exam room. The first dentist, Dr. Golden, popped in while Dr. Blum was reviewing my 3D scan.  They discussed my case and what they recommended I do.  Then they sent the money gal in.  She described the procedure they would use – do a root canal on two teeth and put in ceramic posts with a bridge.  Giving me a discount on the bridge, it would only cost $12,000. I could buy a frickin’ car for that much money!!!  I told her I would think about it and left.

     I called my sister to see if I could get in to see her biological dentist.  She gave me his number but the office was closed. I’ll have to call them tomorrow.

 23 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  Everyone is still wearing masks and the pews are roped off to keep people distanced from one another.  After church, we gathered up most of the stuff we have been collecting for the yard sale and brought it back to the church.  They are trying to have an outdoor thrift shop sale on the front lawn. We don’t know how that’s going to work. It was all clothes they had outside and anyone shopping would lift the clothes to look at them.  Now they’ve been touched.  What next?

     At 3 p.m. we drove to our friend’s house, Bob.  He used to be my brother’s father-in-law (before they got divorced). Bob managed an A&P store in the day and he catered many parties.  Any time he’s making a meal, it’s worth going.  He’s a great cook.  He made ribs, roast potatoes, and corn on the cob.  We had a very nice visit.

 22 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We gathered up Caiden and drove to my sister’s house. Susan is celebrating her 65th birthday today.  As expected, Caiden never wanted to get out of the pool.  Our brothers, Dennis and Chris, also came to the party.  We gave Denis some old baseball cards we found in the back room during our clearing out maneuvers.  He seemed to be pleased with the gift (his birthday is next week).  It was a fun day.

 21 Aug 2020 (Fri) – We went to the Oconee Diner for lunch then took a ride to Target to get a few things.  We picked up some clothes for Caiden and ourselves.  After we returned home, we spent the rest of the day cleaning out the back room.  I burned more military records.   Thirty-one years of military history – GONE!  Up in smoke!  I was surprised to see that I had every pay record I ever got during my service.  

 20 Aug 2020 (Thu) – It was a confusing day at the cardiologist. First, Paul went to the office for a 9 a.m. appointment only to be turned away.  They said he had an appointment at 3:45 and I had one at 2:30 p.m. When he got home and told me, I stated that the office had called yesterday and confirmed the 9 a.m. time. I also had my appointment time entered in my calendar as 2:15 p.m.  Just as we were perplexing over these times, the doctor’s office called to say he was called to the hospital and they had to reschedule our appointments.  We managed to get us in at 11:30 and 11:45 respectively. That ensured we got in together.

     The doctor was prompt and entertaining.  He checked us both over.  Reviewed our bloodwork and tests and declared us in good health.  My cholesterol is a little elevated so he wants to see me back in 3 months.  If the numbers are still up, he will put me on a drug (he thinks).

     We drove over to Travis & Sam’s tonight for dinner.  Turned out we had to buy the dinner (surprise!).  We stopped at Chili’s and picked up 6 meals then drove to Trap’s where we enjoyed our dinner together.  Travis got a job offer at a construction company in North Carolina. They will also help them to get into a rental home.  It sounds very good.

 19 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I went to a biological dentist today to get an assessment of all the dental work in my mouth.  I have been reading several books about alternative medicine.  One book by Dr. Simon Yu states that disease is the result of 4 causes.  The three top causes are dental problems, heavy metals, and parasites.  It was 2 hours before the dentist came in to see me and we spent an hour talking about the research and alternatives.  She sent me to get a 3D x-ray to see if there are any infections in my mouth.  Although there was no “pathology,” she did identify 4 incomplete root canals.  She recommended I see the surgeon in the office. I made an appointment for Monday.

     On the way home, I stopped by Sherry’s Market, a health food store in Babylon. It was expensive!

 18 Aug 2020 (Tue) – I went to the neurologist this morning to get all the electrodes disconnected.  I tried to schedule a follow up visit with the doctor but his earliest appointment is October.  How do you discuss what they found with all these tests?  

     I drove to East Islip to the podiatrist’s office to pick up a copy of the MRI report stating I have an interstitial tear in my right foot.  The receptionist offered to call the radiology office to see if I could get a copy of the MRI pictures.  Then I walked over to their office and got the disk.

     Paul spent the day working around the yard.  I spent the day burning files.  I have so many military files to burn.  How in the world did I get so many in my possession???

 17 Aug 2020 (Mon) – I went to the neurologist this morning and was wired up for a 24-hour EEG.  They attached 23 electrodes to my head and 3 to my chest.  I have to wear a machine to register brain activity for 24 hours. All this just to reassure Paul that I am OK and can go hiking in the woods again.

     When I got home, Paul went food shopping.  I was NOT going out with all the wires hanging off my head.  When he got back, we had lunch, then went to work on getting rid of old files and boxes.  I have tons of old military books and material that has to be burned.  It can’t just be thrown in the garbage.  I sat in front of the fire pit for 2 hours and only got through 1 box.  I have 5 more to go.  

     Ford called to say they replaced the fuel pump on the truck and everything seems to be alright.  I took the rental car, drove Paul to Sayville Ford to drop him off, drove to Islip Airport to drop off the rental car where Paul picked me up and we drove back home.

 16 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We borrowed Kenny’s truck and drove to church this morning. It rained all day.  We spent most of the day inside watching TV or working on the computer.

 15 Aug 2020 (Sat) – Spent the day working around the property.  Kenny went to work at 4 and I went into the house to watch Caiden.  He came out to the camper and had dinner with us, then we went back inside and I gave him a bath.  We had a pillow fight and played with his transformers.  He finally went to bed at 9 p.m.  I think that is too late for a 6 year old but his parents are night owls and I guess he’s becoming one also.

 14 Aug 2020 (Fri) – The tech from Sayville Ford called and said the diagnostics was telling him the truck needs a fuel pump.  No amount of arguing that the last service station messed something up. We finally authorized the part. Maybe they can get to it on Monday. Ugh.  

     Miranda’s truck was finished at 4 p.m.  Turned out to be the alternator.  I was going to take the rental car since we have no vehicle but I let her take the truck to Philly given the cruddy condition of her truck. We weren’t sure it would make it there and back.  It really is on its last legs.

     We were supposed to ride out to Indian Island to join the Long Islanders for camping this weekend.  Since we don’t have the truck to pull the camper, we will miss the campout.  This was very disappointing.

 13 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Miranda’s car suddenly gave up the ghost today.  It was clicking, wouldn’t start, and all kind of diagnostic warnings were flashing on her dashboard.  She was able to drop it off at the service station.  This is really bad timing because she is preparing to go to Philly this weekend to coordinate a concert for her camp.   We looked around and was able to reserve a rental car just in case the car isn’t back tomorrow.

     Paul and I rode our bicycles to Best Buy this afternoon.  It’s been giving me trouble and there’s some kind of program on there that we didn’t load in but keeps trying to update drivers.  I had them take it off.  They were very understaffed and the tech wasn’t really interested in working with me on anything else.  I had wanted help in getting videos off the computer.  I’ll have to wait until things get back to normal.

     Paul took an Uber to the cardiologist this afternoon for a stress test.  They injected him with something and then put him in an MRI machine.  He said it was quick and easy.

 12 Aug 2020 (Wed) – It was a quiet day all around.  Paul picked up the truck.  Not only was it making the humming noise, but the dashboard was lighting up like a Christmas tree!  Low fuel pressure!  Low engine pressure!  The service station told us they couldn’t find anything wrong and the noise was gone. Boy, were they wrong.  Paul called Sayville Ford and we were able to get it into the service bay today.  Hope they didn’t break the engine.  L

 11 Aug 2020 (Tue) – I went to the radiologist today for an MRI of my right foot. We worked around the property, cleaning out old files and boxes.  Sent out for pizza for dinner.

 10 Aug 2020 (Mon) – Paul brought the truck back to the service station this morning. They kept the truck and dropped him off back at home.  At 1 p.m. I went to the doctor for an echo cardiogram.  I had to borrow Miranda’s car to get there and back.

     We called the service station at 3:30 p.m.  The tech told us that they had to call a friend at Ford to ask about the fuel pump.  The guy told them they had to replace the entire assembly, not just the fuel pump. Paul was annoyed!  I think we will have to make sure in the future that (1) only Ford does the work and, (2) that the mechanic is a certified diesel mechanic. Hopefully, we will get the truck back tomorrow.  They were going to send out for the item, which will cost us over $400.  This is after already being charged $170 to put the fuel pump on before they broke it.

 9 Aug 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  I think it was the most people we’ve seen there since we came back.  Everyone is still wearing masks and there are seats roped off.  Hand sanitizer stations have been set up around the building.   They announce that the thrift shop will open for 2 hours on Sunday afternoon in an outdoor setting.  That means folks attending the service will be asked to help bring things outside and set up, then take it back downstairs when done.  I hope it works.  The thrift shop is a major revenue source for the church and it has really been hurt with the closure.

     After church, we went to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina. The waitress was soooooo slow. Paul ordered Belgian waffles and they came out cold.  My food was lukewarm.  He sent his waffles back.  The next service was also cool.  Paul wound up not eating his meal.  It was a disappointing experience and we probably won’t go back there for a while.

 8 Aug 2020 (Sat) – We gathered up Caiden and drove to Sue & Bill’s for the day.  The day started out overcast but the clouds soon cleared away and we had a delightful day in the pool.

 7 Aug 2020 (Fri) – I went to the neurologist this morning.  The first test was a Neurotrax.  It was a cognitive test to see if I’ve had any brain damage from the TGA back in March.  Following that, I had an EEG.  A technician glues 23 nodes to your head and then has you sit in a chair with your eyes closed most of the time.  He flashes a light on your closed eyes, then says “Open Your Eyes” for like 30 seconds then close them again.  Weird.

     Paul has been working hard in the yard, cleaning up after the storm.   The oblivious neighbor did a stupid thing.  A tree in his yard came down into our yard. It was straddling the fence with the root ball in the neighbor’s yard and the tree branches supporting the tree in our yard.  The neighbor brought his chain saw out and cut the tree.  No longer balanced between the tree branches and the root ball, the tree crushed our fence.  

     I went to the podiatrist today to check out the painful lump on my Achilles tendon. The doctor took an x-ray and said I have a bone spur that could be causing the problem.  She also criticized my flip flops, saying I needed more support for my feet.  She gave me some heel inserts to wear in a closed shoe.  She also sent me to the radiologist to get an MRI.  I made an appointment for Tuesday.  

6 Aug 2020 (Thu) – Paul brought the truck to the service station to get it inspected.  When he got back, he complained that he could hear a humming from the fuel pump.  That happened to us once before.  A non-qualified mechanic had tried to mount the fuel pump on the rail and broke it.  Apparently, a certified diesel mechanic needs to do the job.  Paul called and was told to bring the truck back in on Monday.

     We brought Bonnie to the vet at 2 p.m.  The ultrasound shows she has some abnormal liver issues.  The vet wants to do a biopsy but Bonnie has to get a blood test first to see if she has a clotting factor.  If so, then she can have the biopsy.  If not, then we can’t do it.

 5 Aug 2020 (Wed) – I had a check with the nurse at the cardiologist’s office today.  They wanted to check and make sure there were no problems with the loop recorder.  She said I had a bit of a reaction to the medical tape but everything looked OK.  I should just let the tape fall off when it wants.

     After the doctor, I brought some containers to Travis.  He is now in contract on his house and beginning to pack things up.  I brought him 9 containers.  Then I drove to Sayville and met my sister, Susan, and her daughter, Shay, for lunch at Cornucopia.  It is a kind of health food supermarket with a great deli counter where we all ordered lunch.  We then sat outside to enjoy our meal.  Following that, we took a walk along Main Street, looking in the shop windows. When we came upon an India shop, we went in.  Susan & Bill follow the religion of Ashananda and the shop owner had been to one of their meetings out in the Hamptons.  She spoke for a while with the clerks (the shop owner wasn’t there).

     We went over Trap’s tonight to sign the contract for the sale of their house. Since we are listed as co-owners on the house, we have to sign the contract as well.  While there, Trap dug out the chain saw for Paul.

 4 August 2020 (Tue) – Things have been so busy and technology has been so challenging that I have not been able to keep up with the blog.  I have an appointment with Best Buy on the 13th. Hopefully, that will get things back on the road.

    Let’s see. I have been to the cardiologist and had an internal cardiac monitor (ICM) installed in my chest.  It is a device that tracks heart activity and at night, when I am sleeping, it uploads the day’s activities to the doctor’s office. It’s been 5 days and the site still itches like crazy.  Ugh.

    I had to go to the lab and get a COVID test before getting the ICM installed. The nurse stuck a Cutip so far up my nose that my eyes teared.  And I had an earache for the rest of the day.  That dam thing was painful!  I will not do that again.

     We took Caiden to Sue & Bill’s last Wednesday.  Their daughter, Shay, and her boyfriend, Pat, are up from South Carolina. We all swam and munched on delicious vegan foods.  It was fun.

     I went to the doctor’s office to see what is wrong with my heel.  The PA saw me (the doctor was busy).  He thinks I have a cyst on my Achilles tendon and referred me to a podiatrist.

      Miranda was back in Pennsylvania this weekend so we watched Caiden a good part of the time when Kenny wasn’t working.

     We got to visit with Travis & Sam yesterday.  The baby is walking pretty good now.  He’s always so happy.  He immediately lights up when he sees you and waves his little hand hello.  Trap got an offer on the house and we signed the contract with the realtor.  He’s a little freaked out.  They have now signed a contract to sell their house.  They have to be out in a month.  They want to move to South Carolina but neither of them has a job or a place to stay.  In addition, they’re not going to be able to keep as much of the money from the sale of the house that they had counted on.  The realtor gets $16,400 alone!  Wow!

     Today, Paul had an appointment with the dentist.  This was a follow up to checkups we had two weeks ago where the dentist found a cavity.  He went in to day to get it filled.  Afterward, we went to WalMart to pick up a few items.  Later in the day, Tropical Storm Isaias blew through.  Another tree from the neighbor’s yard came down across our fence.  Also, one of our trees came down and landed on the deck.  It just missed the roof and back doors.  This was dejavu!  Same thing happened last year when we were here.  Paul will have to dig out the chain saw.  The entire neighborhood is digging out.  Two trees went down on Saxon Avenue, the next block over, and the road was closed.  Thousands of people were without power.  We lost power on and off all day long but not for very long.  Our neighbor a few doors down had a tree go down and take all his electrical lines with it.  The fire department came and cut up the tree and pulled it out into the road.

 25 July 2020 (Sat) – We went to Nicky’s on the Bay for lunch.  The tables were spaced apart.  Lots of them were out on the deck.  All the wait staff was wearing face masks.  Our waitress was very slow and unsure about herself.  She might have been new.  While we were eating, a waitress came running through the restaurant asking if there was a doctor, an EMT, or a nurse in the place. Apparently, something happened at the marine fuel site out on the deck.  We couldn’t see what happened but an ambulance did roll up.

     The cost of the meal was very high.  It don’t know if it is because Nicky’s is a seasonal place and is trying to make its money during the summer or if they jacked the prices up because they can’t have as many people in the place. Either way, it was over $60 for a wrap and a sandwich.  Ouch!

 24 July 2020 (Fri) – Finally!  A day with no doctors.  Whew!  Paul got up early and took the truck to WalMart to get an oil change.  He said it looks like WalMart is going out of business.  The shelves are all half stocked.  If you stop to think about it, they get most of their products from China. The pandemic has affected shipments worldwide.  In addition, the U.S. is angry with China for keeping the Coronavirus a secret and has instituted sanctions against them.  WalMart must really be hurting.

     After Paul got home, we went to Home Depot to get a container.  One of our two batteries went bad and Paul bought two new ones.  Now he wants a container to put them in to keep the area more organized.  Home Depot didn’t have much of a selection at all. On the way out, we stopped by the tile area and picked out a tile to do a backsplash in the bathroom.  We couldn’t decide, so we picked up three samples to see which we would like best.

     When I was entering the costs into the budget, Paul discovered that WalMart charged him for the oil that he actually provided.  So he got in the truck and drove back to WalMart to get his $12.47 refunded.

     Miranda is teaching in Pennsylvania again this weekend.  They took Caiden into Queens to stay with his grandmother. Kenny borrows his mother’s car so Miranda can take their car.  I will miss Caiden.

 23 July 2020 (Thu) – Today was my visit with the oncologist.  It was so disheartening!  My appointment was at 4:15 p.m.  I checked in then after a brief wait, a tech brought me into an exam room and took my vitals.  Thank goodness; no blood draw.  Then I went upstairs and checked in with the receptionist.  I waited about a half hour before the doctor’s admin assistant came and led me to the exam room. I sat there for another half hour before the nurse came in and went over my case.  He spent a lot of time complaining about patients calling and asking for visits or pain medication when they should be going to their primary care physicians.  Then he asked me who my PCP was.  I felt like it was some kind of criticism.  Was I supposed to be going to a different doctor?

     The nurse left and it was another 20 minutes before the doctor came in wearing a face mask and a full face shield.  He seemed detached and didn’t really hear my complaints.  He said the medication sometimes causes blisters on the palms of the hands and the soles of the feet.  Was I having any of those?  He also said the medication can cause AFIB and that the cardiologist should check me for that.  It seems like every visit to the oncologist results in him telling me something else that can happen with this chemo therapy.  He seemed preoccupied and in a hurry to get out.  I felt like I got the bum’s rush.  I came home and started crying.  Which is kind of stupid because the CT scan shows that I am responding to the medication very well.  All the lymph nodes are continuing to shrink.  So what’s my problem?

 22 July 2020 (Wed) – I went to the Good Sam Sleep Center this morning.  I had to sit in the parking lot and call the office to tell them I was waiting.  They called me when the previous patient was done.  When I walked into the doctor’s office after checking in, he excused himself and began to dictate the results of his visit with the previous patient. He stated the patient’s name, the issue, and his diagnosis, all in front of me.  Hasn’t he been briefed on this whole patient privacy thing?  I thought that I should probably step out of the room but with the whole COVID thing, they don’t want people wandering around unsupervised.  When he was done, I told him that I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in 15 years. The cardiologist recommended I do a sleep study because poor sleep can affect heart function and weight.  The doctor said we probably wouldn’t find anything but said he would do the study anyway.  How encouraging is that???

 21 July 2020 (Tue) – I went to the eye doctor today.  I arrived at 9:30 a.m.  When I checked in, I found my appointment was for 10:45 a.m.  It looks like I made the appointment while we were in Alabama and my calendar recorded the appointment as central time, not eastern time.  So the clerk sent me to sit out in my car till it was my turn or the doctor became available sooner.  They called me at 9:50 to come in and brought me right to a test station where they blew air into my eye.  Then she took me to an exam room where I sat for over a half hour.  The doctor came in, put drops in my eyes, and said I am developing glaucoma.  Come back in six months.  Then he was gone.  No discussion, no explanation, no anything.  I complained about some eye discharge and irritation so he prescribed an ointment to put in my eye at bedtime but, again, no explanation or discussion of what the problem is.  It was a very annoying visit.  The doctor was very dismissive.

     Paul put together a 3-minute video of upstate New York.  I posted it on You Tube then contacted SMART with the link. They posted it on the website next to the description of our New York caravan.  

     I went in at 4 p.m. to keep an eye on Caiden while Miranda went to the store. Paul is still grousing about yesterday’s argument.  I have to find a way to get him to lighten up.  Ugh.

 20 July 2020 (Mon) – I had a CT Scan with contrast today.  I dropped off a urine sample for Sheba at the vet, then drove to Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.  I checked in at the front desk and asked if my doctor or his nurse was available to see me.  The receptionist said she would contact Dr. Rodriguez and see what he said.  I then went into the imaging area and had the CT scan. That’s such a weird test.  They inject an iodine based solution and it gives a flushed, very warm feeling in the back of the throat and in the crotch. It feels like I wet myself.  The test isn’t very long and I was out of the machine within 10 minutes.

     I returned to the front desk to see about the doctor.  The receptionist said Dr. Rodriguez would change my telehealth appointment for Thursday to an in-person appointment or I could see someone in triage today.  I said I would meet with the doctor on Thursday.

     I got home to find Paul working around the RV.  He was installing a switch for the water pump in the bathroom.  The switch on the main panel stopped working some time ago and Paul installed a switch down in the basement.  That has turned out to be somewhat inconvenient so he moved the switch up into the bathroom.  That should work better for when we have to use the onboard tank for fresh water.

     While we were outside, Paul and Miranda got into a nasty fight.  That was very upsetting for me.  Then we left and went over Travis’ house to help him with some projects.  He has finally gotten an offer for his house and the inspector will be over on Thursday. He wants to clear up a few little things before the inspector arrives.  Paul and Travis worked on repairing a leak in the kitchen sink and on the thermostat for his burner.  I played with the boys then we all enjoyed a meal that Sam prepared.  It was a pleasant evening.

 19 July 2020 (Sun) – We didn’t think Caiden would be able to sit for an hour in church with a mask on so we didn’t go.  At 11:30 a.m. we drove to the Bayside Clam Bar for brunch.  Afterward, we walked along the boardwalk and looked at all the boats in the marina.  There was a dog at one end that the owner let go down on a little spit of sand.  Caiden climbed down and followed the dog around. We took his shoes off so he could step in the water.  The dog was an older black lab and very friendly.  Her name was Sandy.

      After our meal and walk, we returned to the house and I watched Caiden while Paul worked around the house and yard.  Kenny got home at 7:30 p.m.

 18 July 2020 (Sat) – We got Caiden at 10:30 a.m. and then drove to Sue & Bill’s house in the Hamptons for a day of swimming in the pool and barbecuing. Despite the fact that I put sunscreen on Caiden twice, he still burned.  So did I. His mother will never let me take him to the beach again.  Aaarrgghh!

     After we got back, I stayed with Caiden until his father came home at 10:30 p.m.

 17 July 2020 (Fri) – We both went to the dentist today.  The chairs in the office were taped off to ensure adequate spacing between patients.  It only left 4 chairs to use.  The secretary took our temperature and went through a checklist (like the tech did yesterday).  Then we had our teeth cleaned and xrays taken.  I got an excellent rating; Paul has a cavity and has to come back to get it filled.

     We went over Trap’s to visit.  We picked up dinner at Chili’s and brought it to the house.  Travis was working on painting the counter top in the upstairs bathroom.  They are trying everything they can think of to sell their house.  They’ve had lots of lookers but no buyers.  The real estate market is so hot today, I can’t figure out why the house hasn’t gone.  His in-laws put their house on the market and the first visitor bought the house for $5,000 more than they were asking.  The only stipulation was that they had to be out in 30 days.

     Miranda’s cat was showing some kind of neurological issue today.  It was walking against the side of cabinets like its left side was weak and it couldn’t stand by itself.  Miranda contacted us while at Trap’s and asked about bringing her cat, Liath, to the vet.  We hurried home to help but the vet said it was not life threatening and to wait until Monday to bring her in.  Miranda was concerned because she is leaving tonight for Pennsylvania and will not be back until late Sunday.  I promised to keep an eye on the cat.

 16 July 2020 (Thu) – We both went to the cardiologist today.  I was doing a follow-up to my “incident” in March. Paul went because he has hypertension and should be seen by a cardiologist.

     When we arrived, we were met at the door by a tech who asked us a bunch of questions about where we’ve been and who we’ve been near.  He took our temperature and then let us pass.  We walked in and was processed by a clerk.  Then we were brought back to the exam room.  The PA came in, went over our medical histories, took our blood pressure, and did EKGs on both of us.

     Then the doctor came in.  I liked him instantly.  He is young – in his late 20s/early 30s.  He was upbeat and very friendly, touching elbows as a form of hello.  He thinks I had a TIA and felt the neurologist was wrong to think I had a TGA.  He recommended I get an EEG, an ambulatory EEG, and have a loop recorder inserted in my chest.  He feels it is possible that I have atrial fibrillation (AFib) and the recorder will measure my heartbeat and send messages to the office.  I would wear it for 3 or 4 years!  I said I had to check that one with my oncologist.

      Then it was Paul’s turn.  The doctor referred him for a nuclear stress test.  He also recommended that Paul resume taking the baby aspirin every day (he stopped a year ago because of a medical report that said baby aspirin didn’t help to prevent strokes.  

 15 July 2020 (Wed) – We worked around the RV until 11:30 a.m. then we took Sheba to the vet.  It was over an hour in which the vet’s office displayed confusion and chaos.  First, I called to say we were outside for our appointment.  About 20 minutes later, one of the vets came out to gather information then went inside. Ten minutes later he came out to get Sheba.  Again, the office was not able to get through to my phone and the vet came out to tell me to call them.  I called and spoke with Dr. Thode.  She took blood and gave Sheba shots.  Dr. Thode also said the blood results were back for Bonnie.  She has round worm and a low liver value.  She prescribed medicine for the worms and recommended an ultrasound for the liver.  After waiting 10 minutes, I called the office to see what was happening.  They were just finishing up and would send Sheba out. The vet brought Sheba out, went over the highlights of her exam, and said the office would call to get payment. After another 15 or 20 minutes, I called to make the payment.  The clerk took my card number three times because the machine wasn’t working properly. Then the vet tech came out with the paperwork.  Paul asked about the medicine for Bonnie.  They forgot it so she went back in to get it.  She brought it out but stated they had forgotten to charge us for the medicine so I had to call again to give the credit card number.  They brought the receipt out along with the stuff to get a urine sample from Sheba.  We left but I got a phone call about 10 minutes later saying they forgot to charge us for the bloodwork they did on Sheba so I had to call back again and give the card number again.  What a debacle!

     Late this afternoon, Caiden came knocking on the door.  He came in and played for a while then I made dinner for the three of us. He ate a small part of his meal but seemed to enjoy it.  I brought the left overs into the house for Miranda and Kenny, or to keep and reheat for Caiden tomorrow.

 14 July 2020 (Tue) – I had an appointment with the neurologist this morning. This was the same doctor that found the tumor in my mother’s brain 36 years ago.  He has gotten very personable over the years.  I liked him very much.  He said the incident I experienced in March was most likely Transient Global Amnesia (TGA).  Just to be careful, he recommended three different tests but stated that he doesn’t expect to find anything.  Apparently, a TGA can happen at any time and never happen again.  Or, it can happen again once or multiple times.  If it happens many times then you would have to get checked for seizure activity in the brain.  Luckily, I have not had any problems since that one time.

     I played with Caiden a little tonight.  We didn’t get much time together but it was still fun.  He loves battle sequences.

 13 July 2020 (Mon) – We took Bonnie to the vet this morning.  She needed a refill on her flea and tick medicine. She got a checkup and a couple of shots. It was so weird.  When we arrived, we called the office and were instructed to stay in the truck.  After about 20 minutes, a vet tech came out.  He took down Bonnie’s information and reason for her visit then went back inside. He came back about 10 minutes later and took her inside.  We sat in the car until the doctor called.  We discussed our concerns and what the doctor found and recommended. Five minutes later, the clerk called to get our credit card number for the bill.  A whopping $950!!!  After about another 15 minutes, Bonnie was brought back out to us.  Then we waited ANOTHER 15 minutes for the clerk to bring out medicine and the bill.  What a pain in the butt.  And we will have to do it again with Sheba.

     Kenny was off of work today, so Caiden stayed in the house nursing his sunburn and playing with his parents.  Paul worked around the yard and I did paperwork.

 12 July 2020 (Sun) – We went to church this morning.  They just reopened after holding services digitally on You Tube and FaceBook for months.  There were about 30 people in church.  We had to wear our masks the entire time and still try to maintain 6’ distance from each other.  They didn’t pass the collection plate.  Instead, it sat in the back of the church and the minister asked everyone to drop their donation in the plate when they left.

     After church, Paul and I drove to the Clamside Bar & Grill at the East Islip Marina. We both enjoyed a salad.  The day was lovely – sunny, but not too hot, with a soft, balmy breeze blowing in off the water.  The sun glittering on the bay was beautiful.

       When we came home, I gathered up Caiden and he and I went to Heckscher State Park. I figured the beach would be closed but we could walk along the shore, throw stones in the water, build sand castles, and wiggle our toes in the water.  Boy, was I surprised to find the beach open, complete with lifeguards. There were many people on the beach and in the water but they still were all keeping a decent distance between each other.  The water was so warm; like a bathtub.  There was lots of wave action and a delightful breeze kept the heat away.  I did not have a bathing suit so I stood on the shore with my feet in the water, getting splashed well up the legs. Caiden went in and had a great time. Unfortunately, I forgot to put sunscreen on him and he got burned.  His mother yelled at me.  

     When we left the beach, I stopped at Carvel and got Caiden some ice cream.  The perfect end to a perfect day.

 11 July 2020 (Sat) – Paul worked in the yard most of the day.  I entertained Caiden a good part of the day.  At 4:30 pm, we went over Travis’ house.  We shared a salad and pizza then spent two hours playing with Noah and Hudson.  The baby is on the verge of walking.  He has very good balance.

 10 July 2020 (Fri) – It was an overcast day with rain on and off. Tropical Storm Fay was pummeling the Jersey coast today but we didn’t get it too badly.  Paul and I went shopping at PetCo for pet food and ShopRite for some groceries.  Boy. Was the grocery store crowded! And we forgot to bring our own bags so the cashier charged us for 3 bags.  Glad we didn’t buy a lot.

     Caiden wanted to come into the trailer so badly today but the weather was lousy and I wasn’t going to put Bonnie out.  Caiden came out and we stood outside in the drizzle talking for about an hour.  Later, I went into the house and we played for about 2 hours.

 9 July 2020 (Thu) – We packed up and left Newburgh at 10:45 am.  It took almost 4 hours to drive down to Long Island. We were surprised with all the traffic on the road.  We came through the boroughs and had traffic and construction that caused us to creep along through congested spots.    

      Caiden was so happy to see us!  He ran out and gave me a hug, then ran back to the porch to watch us park the rig in the driveway.  When Paul had the RV positioned well, I had Caiden help finish the set up by pushing buttons to open the slides.  After we were set up, we visited for a bit and watched him swimming in his little pool. After dinner, I took Caiden to Carvel and picked up ice cream for him and Miranda (Kenny was working and Paul and I are on a diet).  We brought it back home and they enjoyed the treat out on the back deck.

 8 July 2020 (Wed) – Just hung around the campground most of the day.  We did run out to fuel the truck and get ready for tomorrow’s move.

 7 July 2020 (Tue) – We visited with the sales manager here at the campground. We had interviewed him last year and reconfirmed the amenities and costs.  The nightly fee actually went down.  He also promised to coordinate a bus tour into New York City for us.  He offered to pick up our order for bagels and juice and even stated he could arrange a catered meal right here in the campground.

     We came back and did laundry then just hung out for the day.

 6 July 2020 (Mon) – We started out for West Point but would up sidetracked to the Historic Huguenot District.  It was two blocks of old stone houses built in the late 1600s/early 1700s by early French settlers.  The visitor’s center was closed and none of the buildings were open.  We walked up and down the street, admiring the architecture from the street.

     We then continued on to the West Point Military Academy.  The visitor’s center was closed, as well as the tour operations office.  There was no one to ask anything of.  The day was a loss in that regard.    

 5 July 2020 (Sun) – We drove over to the Mohonk Mountain House today.  Thought we’d check them out for the farewell dinner and then take a hike around the area.  Unfortunately, they now have a gatehouse to control access to the place.  They have us a brochure to look at and a telephone number to call but wouldn’t let us go in.  

     Then we drove by another restaurant but they were closed.  No signs on the door.  We couldn’t tell if they were just closed or if they had gone out of business. Cross them off the list.

     We made a quick stop at the grocery store so Paul could pick up milk for his coffee then returned to the campground.  We got to enjoy another campfire tonight.  Two in a row. Wow.!

     We drove into Newburgh and took a stroll on the Walkway Over the Hudson.  It was an old railroad trestle over the Hudson River built back in the late 1800s.  It was repurposed into a level concrete walkway that stretched for more than a mile and a third.  We walked out to the middle, took a selfie, and walked back.  The day was lovely.  There were lots of people on the bridge – strolling, biking, walking the dog. Almost everyone obeyed the signs and wore a mask.  Some people didn’t.  It was very warm and my mask was wet from sweat by the time we finished our walk. It was a good time.

     We drove to the FDR National Historic Site to look over the presidential library and home.  The visitor’s center was closed.

 4 July 2020 (Sat) – We were going to drive to the Mohonk Mountain House today but stayed in the campground instead.  We had a small BBQ and sat before a delightful campfire.  The campground is pretty full with lots of kids. Bonnie is barking at bicycles, skaters, and walkers.  The staff came by yesterday passing out flyers about the pool.  It was going to be open today from 10 to 4.  They were having people sign up for a one-hour block of time.  The pool is limited to 25 people but they were thinking they wouldn’t be able to do that and still have people maintain their distance.  We didn’t sign up.  It seemed better to leave the time slots to the kids.  Normally, they would spend the whole day in the pool.  This is like a tease.  But I suppose it’s better than nothing.

 3 July 2020 (Fri) – Things have been quiet.  We have been running around trying to line up restaurants for the caravan next year.  We are now at the KOA in Newburgh for a week.  

 30 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We pulled stakes at 9:25 am.  It was a white knuckle exercise in getting out of our site. Paul had to ask the guy behind us to move then he backed up the RV to get out.  Trees and other RVs and yard “stuff” in the area made it impossible to pull out from our pull-through site.  Paul did it perfectly!  He is so good in moving our big monster.  It’s almost like it’s an extension of his physical being.  Just imagine maneuvering 54’ of truck and trailer.  I can’t do it!

     We arrived at Shadowbrook RV Resort at a little past 11:30 am (it was a very short drive).  This campground only has 18 campsites for transients.  Again, we’ve been undone by the seasonal campers.  After set up, we drove to four separate campgrounds and all gave the same answer – no room at the inn!  The last campground we stopped at recommended the KOA up on Route 20. We’ll try them tomorrow.

     We drove by the National Baseball Hall of Fame.  They are on a limited opening.  I left a business card and someone will call me back.  I also sent emails to the tour director for the NY Capitol in Albany and the USS Slater.  Communications continue with other venues as well.

 29 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to another campground this morning to check it out.  It turned out to only have 4 available campsites for transients.  The rest are filled with seasonals.  Too bad.  It was a really nice campground right on Saratoga Lake.

     On the way back to the campground, we refueled for tomorrow’s trip and picked up chicken and water.  Bonnie has diarrhea again.  It just seems to be something that she’s going to go through on a regular basis no matter what we give her.

 28 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We left Ticonderoga at 9:20 a.m.  It rained a little in the three hours it took us to arrive at Adventure Bound RV Resorts & Campground.  The campsite we got was very tight while Paul had to maneuver around a parked van, trees, and lawn decorations.  This campground, although very large (over 300 campsites), would not suit our group and many campers are seasonal.  The RV next to us hasn’t been moved in years.

     As soon as we were set up, we headed out.  First stop was at Chili’s for lunch.  We both had a grilled chicken salad.  Tummies full, we drove to four different campgrounds.  Two wouldn’t fit the group, one had no one in the office, and the other took our phone number to give to the owner.  It was not a very productive day.  Hope things get better tomorrow.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Hannaford to pick up groceries. It was a nice supermarket.  Why can’t we get any of these grocery stores on Long Island?

 27 Jun 2020 (Sat) – It was a light day.  We just hung out around the campground today.  I made some calls and updated the files on what we’ve collected so far.  The poor wifi service here is maddening!  Even the cell service is poor.  I’m glad we won’t be staying here as a group but I worry the other campground might be just as bad.  After all, we are now in the mountains.

 26 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We drove into Lake Placid today.  It is a small town.  The Olympics Museum was closed.  We decided to have the group explore the museum then go out about the town on their own.  There is a lot to see in this little tourist town.  

     We then drove to Whiteface Mountain.  We wanted to drive up the Veterans Memorial Highway to the peak.  Unfortunately, it was $25 per car to drive up.  I thought that was too much money to go up there and find everything closed (not that there is that much up there to see other than the view).  We turned around and left.  

     Right next to the entrance for Whiteface Mountain is Santa’s North Pole Workshop. We came up here twice with the kids when they were little.  The workshop is still there with the post office that will send off a letter or postcard with the North Pole return address.  The park was also closed.

     We drove to Ausable Chasm, the Grand Canyon of the Adirondacks.  It was beautiful.  We spoke with the sales manager and got information on a walking tour, float trip, and lunch at the center.  It will be a nice touch for the group.  Up the hill right next to the chasm center is the Underground RR Museum.  It is in a beautiful old stone building.  It was closed but a woman stepped out of the building to speak with us.  The cost to explore the museum is free and the place is very small.  Guess we’ll have the group break up into smaller groups to tour the museum.

     We also checked out two other campgrounds.  The KOA seems like the best option at this point.  It would have been nice to stay at the North Pole Hundred Acre Woods Campground but they don’t take groups of more than six rigs.  Oh, pooh!

     After we got back to the campground, we did the laundry.  

 25 Jun 2020 (Thu) – Well, we learned today why a scouting trip is so important. We left 1000 Islands CG and headed out to Ticonderoga, 170 miles away.  The GPS in the truck tried to route us though Canada.  It would have added 100 miles to our trip!  Instead, we followed the route on my phone.  The trip went through Adirondack Park.  We saw mountains but the elevation never got much over 2,000’.  The roads were narrow and winding and the driving was slow but we got here safe and sound.  The scenery is beautiful with occasional glimpses of the lakes and rivers beside the road.

     It turns out that this campground does not have enough campsites for our group – they are mostly for seasonal campers.  Paul went through a list and found an alternative campground.  In fact, he changed two campgrounds for one and we now have another stop on our itinerary.

    After set up, we drove to Brookwood RV Resort and interviewed the owner for a possible stay there.  They are a very popular campground and she suggested we get our reservations in ASAP. The only thing we don’t like is that we wouldn’t all be together.  Everyone would be spread around the campground.

     We drove down the road to another campground owned by the U.S. Forest Service but it was closed.  We then drove into the town of Ticonderoga.  The Star Trek Museum and Fort Ticonderoga were both closed due to the pandemic.  We walked into a luncheonette across the street from the Star Trek Museum to see about a lunch for the group.  Our group could go to the museum at 10, go to lunch at 11 (it’s a little early but that’s what they want), then take a tour of the fort. The other option is to wait on lunch until 2 pm, which is kind of late.  I don’t like either option.

     As we were driving around, we spotted an old stone chapel in a graveyard.  We parked and went in to explore it.  It reminded me of the Viking church on display in DisneyWorld.

 24 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We drove over to Alexandria Bay this morning.  We stopped at U.S. Boat Tours which I had emailed to ask about a tour of the Singer and Boldt Castles.  We checked at the window to find out what time the shuttles and tours ran.  After getting the times, we decided to have the group go to the Boldt Castle at 10 a.m., come back to town, wander the shops, and have lunch.  At 2 p.m., we’ll have everyone come back and take the tour to the Singer Castle.

     Afterward, we drove around the area, checking out different places.  We also drove over to Wellesly Island and looked at the state parks and golf courses there.  We also stopped by the ice cream shoppe in front of the campground to find out about an ice cream social.  They sell 3-gallon containers of ice cream for $45.  The lady suggested butter pecan as an older person’s favorite flavor.

 23 Jun 2020 (Tue) – We packed up and left Stow at 9:15 a.m.  The drive was easy but took almost 4 hours.  When we arrived, the office was closed (we had checked in online), and a note on the door told campers to proceed to their assigned site.  After set up, we left a message for the campground manager asking for a meeting.

     We drove to Clayton where Main Street was under construction and closed to traffic. We had seen a delightful hotel with a restaurant years ago that boasted the original Thousand Islands dressing had been invented there.  Unfortunately, the restaurant went out of business.  We spoke with a manager at Bella’s.  The restaurant was pleasant but she said they did not want to have a large group in to dine during their peak season.  She preferred to cater a meal of assorted wraps, salads and desert and suggested we eat at the Antique Boating Museum.

     We drove past both the Thousand Islands Museum and the Antique Boating Museum. They were both closed.  I sent emails asking about admission and meals. This is becoming very frustrating. Many of the businesses that I have sent emails to have not answered.

     When we got back to the campground, we met with the campground camp host.  Whe was very chatty and gave us lots of information about the area.  I have to follow up with an email so she can share it with the owner.

 22 Jun 2020 (Mon) – We drove to Seneca Falls today, noting the mileage to various areas along the way.  Everything we wanted to see was closed.  The National Women’s Hall of Fame, although the name was displayed on the front of the building on Main Street, is no longer there.  A woman in the visitor center told us it was relocated to a mill across the bridge but the coronavirus had stopped the set-up and opening of the center in its new location.  We drove over and saw that it will be 3 stories high and promises to be a good stop. There is also a National Women’s Rights Museum on Main Street and a couple of houses around Seneca Falls that people could tour if they wanted.

     Waterloo, birthplace of Memorial Day, is next to Seneca Falls.  There is an American Civil War Museum and memorial graveyard in town.  I think it would be appropriate to include it in our itinerary but Paul thinks it is too much.  If so, we will certainly have to suggest it as a stop on their own.

     We stopped at Ventosa Vineyards to see about a group lunch after the Seneca Falls tour.  There is a lovely deck area outside overlooking the lake.  The woman we spoke with suggested we send an email to the catering manager.

     We then stopped at Belhurst Castle.  They have a very attractive stone room with an intimate setting for lunch that also looks out at the lake.  The man we spoke with gave us a menu and suggested we coordinate with the catering manager.  I sent emails out to both managers.

 21 Jun 2020 (Sun) – We packed up and left Bath at 9:50 a.m.  It was only 95 miles to Red’s Twilight on the Erie RV Resort in Macedon, near Rochester.  We arrived about noon.  The office was closed.  Our registration packet was sitting on a table.  As we were preparing to drive to our campsite, the owner pulled up and led us to our place.  She was very friendly and gladly agreed to meet with us later.

     After set up, we cased the campground while walking the dog (it was too hot to let Sheba out – 90 degrees!) then went to the office and sat down with Barb. She said they would give us 10 percent off for military discount.  We were all sitting around the table with our masks on and it got very hot.  I was sweating like crazy.  I sure was glad when the meeting was over.

    We drove into Rochester to the George Eastman Museum.  It was closed.  We then drove to The Strong Museum of Play.  That was also closed.  It is a very large museum and looks like it will be fun.  We then drove to a restaurant recommended by Barb.  It was too far from The Strong to have people walk to it so we will have lunch in the museum then explore the museum.  There is a restaurant inside.

     On the way back to the campground, we stopped at Wegmans Supermarket.  What a huge store!  It had to be the largest supermarket we’ve ever been in.  And it was neat and clean and attractive. Everyone in the store was wearing a mask and the staff was actively wiping things down and making sure everything was sanitized.  

 20 Jun 2020 (Sat) – We drove to the Finger Lakes Boating Museum to meet the Administration Assistant and see the wine cellar where they host catered meals.  It is a lovely room and we are sure the group would like it.  We would probably have the tour of the museum first (there are 3 floors in the museum) then go to the bottom floor for a lunch.  

     After meeting with Nancy Wightman, we drove back to the KOA to meet with the Office Manager.  We sat outside at a picnic table, all in our masks, and discussed what they could offer the caravan next year.  Elaine is pregnant and will be out on maternity leave for a while.  This could cause a problem with coordination but we will see how it shakes out.

     While driving out and about, we stopped at a nearby fish hatchery.  It was closed but they had an observation pool with three kinds of trout in it – brown trout, brook trout, and rainbow trout.  What is weird is that the brook trout is the only native species to the area, yet the hatchery doesn’t raise them – only the other two species.

     We drove around to check out some other places.  There is a VA Center and National Cemetery a couple of miles down the road.  We rode around the cemetery looking at the gravestones.  We also gathered information about other services in the area – RV dealers, hospital, clinic, vets, foodstore, etc.

     We had a campfire tonight.  There is nothing more intoxicating that the smell of a campfire.

 19 Jun 2020 (Fri) – We packed up and left Chautauqua at 9:30.  The weather was good and the drive was pleasant.  We arrived at the Bath-Hammondsport KOA around noon.  They had sent an email asking us to pre-register/check-in.  I did that.  When we arrived, Paul stayed in the truck while I went in.  The clerk confirmed our information and gave us our map and paperwork. This is a lovely campground.  We have been here before and am sure the caravan will enjoy the place.

     We drove around town, trying to find a restaurant to have a welcome dinner in. The three restaurants we chose were all too small and two of them were still closed.  The thirde, the Stone Timber Inn, does catering.  We took the chef’s card and left.  On the way back to the campground, we stopped at an American Legion post and took a look at their hall.  We asked about renting the hall and the bartender gave us the rental agent’s phone number along with the commander’s number.  

     The campground is working hard to ensure people are having a good time, despite the spacing restriction from the coronavirus.  They delivered a packet to make s’mores with.  Folks were invited to make s’mores and post pictures on the facebook page. They also gave us free firewood. It made a delightful fire.  They also had a cornhole contest where people who had the game in their rig wee encouraged to play and report their results.

 18 Jun 2020 (Thu) – We went to the office at 9:30 a.m. to speak with the campground owner.  The doors were locked.  Some guy came out in to the hall, looked at us at the door then went back into his office. How rude!  I then called the office and the owner answered.  We sat at the table outside on the deck and interviewed the guy about the facilities and what he would do for the group. Satisfied, we told him we would send a check and wanted to leave him a book.  He said he was in his office.  When we told him the door was locked, he laughed and said he forgot to open it then stepped out and took the book.

    We drove 20 minutes to the Grape Discovery Center to see what it looked like.  It was closed.  We parked and walked around, peeking in the windows.  It looks like it would be a nice experience for our group next year, so we will include it in the itinerary.

     We found a laundromat in a house (ah, country life).  We put the clothes in the washer then drove to a Mazza’s Winery and had a flight of wines.  Then we returned to the laundromat house and put the clothes in the dryer.  We walked around the town of Mayville while our clothes tumbled.

     After we collected the clothes, we drove to Jamestown to check out the Lucy-Desi Museum and the National Comedy Center.  Unfortunately, they, too, were both closed because of the pandemic. This situation is going to make it hard to develop a budget for the caravan.

     Paul located a WalMart and we did some food shopping.  We are starting a diet and needed to pick up all the right kinds of foods.  I just planned 4 days and the frig is chocked full.  I will not be able to shop a week at a time, that’s for sure.

     The check-in time for this campground is 6 p.m. (check-out is 5 p.m.).  We’ve never seen such a late time for check-in. We asked if the owner would put that aside for us when our group comes next year.  

 17 Jun 2020 (Wed) – We left Marblehead, Ohio, at 8:20 a.m.  It was a long drive today so we left early.  The drive was over 4 hours and took us along the lakeshore of Lake Erie, through Pennsylvania and into New York.  The campground looks like it was a KOA at one time. Our campsite is a pull through with a concrete surface.  The campground is on Chautauqua Lake.  The pool, the store, and all group centered places are closed due to the pandemic. You have to wear a mask in the office.

     After set up, we drove into Mayville to meet with the operations manager of the Chautauqua Belle paddlewheeler.  He was a young man who seemed to be coordinating a group tour for the first time. We went over is suggested schedule and agreed on an itinerary.  He will draw up a contract and send it to us.

     Then we drove down the road to the Chautauqua Institution.  It is one of the stops on the itinerary Mike put together and we wanted to look at it.  It’s not very clear why we should take a tour of the place.  It seems like a private community with very lovely homes on the lake. The roads are very narrow and seem to wind aimlessly around the neighborhood.  There is a beautiful old hotel where he suggested we have lunch. We wanted to get some information about the place but the visitor’s center was closed.  I’ll have to send an email.

     We drove to Jamestown and picked up food at Pet Smart.  Then Paul drove up the other side of the lake to the center where the interstate crossed the lake.  We got back to the campground at 5 p.m.

[hellocortney100]

Day 5-Encouragement

01/27/20

Start time 6:30 am

It's the second week of school which means professors started to get down to business, I went back to my routine of the classic cereal and milk combo and chose an outfit. Mondays are not fun for me, my schedule is packed and there is little time for relaxing. I quickly made my lunch of a peanut butter sandwich, fruit snacks of course and a granola bar. My lunch combo always changes a little every day because it keeps me excited to eat when I am sitting in my long morning typography studio. Although it seems like a mundane thing consuming my lunch is a very joyful part of my day because it's a time I can spend chatting with friends and be carefree from all the work I have yet to finish. Having the control to choose what is in my lunch is something that has great significance to me because so much of my day is consuming things other people want me to consume from a school standpoint. So when I get to pick them for once it keeps me sane. 

Today in class we spent a few hours tracing fonts for typography class. I was so tired I don't remember if my lines were straight or not. I think for the last few days I need to spend a lot more time caring about my health cause today was kinda hard for me to keep focus. When it comes to consumption I did end up taking a fat nap in the student center between my break between classes to catch up on some sleep. I ended up eating a relatively big lunch because I ended up buying more food out of boredom in the student center. My friends stayed by me 

In web design class I felt accomplished today because I finally figured out how to make a successful URL without needing help from the instructor. I finally managed to consume the instructions she gave us after making a few mistakes of course. After class, I had to rush to work at the sorority I work at. Everyone was productive at work today and we ended up finishing early which I think had a lot to do with the fact that we all wanted to get out of there and were tired from the day of classes. Even though we did work fast we also had a lot of fun goofing around and making jokes. I find it interesting that even when we are consuming things such as work my peers still manage to make it fun. It just proves the theory that anything can be fun if it's with the right people. I also got elected to a new leadership position in the house today. I am officially the house's new historian which means I am in charge of taking photos of events and promoting the scholarship throughout the house. I am excited not only to have some responsibility in the house but to show people what I can bring to the table. I wasn't gonna do the position at first but my peers encouraged me and made me feel like I was made for the job. Once again my peers influenced me to challenge myself. 

I collected a few more packs of fruit snack packs but nothing too extreme. I had such a busy day today with classes and work that I didn't have time to collect from my housemates. I made sure to save my fruit snack package from lunch and I asked my friend If I could have his too. It spurred a conversation about lunch preferences and how our parents get the jumbo Costco packs of fruit snacks at the grocery store. Then we got talking about preferences and how some fruit snacks are too sticky and some are too sugary.

[canaryatlaw]

So today was another good day, though I would've liked to have gotten to sleep already but that's my own fault. I slept late again, till around 12 (because nobody woke me up), and woke up to everyone running around getting ready for my cousin's graduation party tonight. So I ate some cereal and asked how I could be helpful, but didn't really get a straight answer so I just kind of helped where I could. When there was a bit of a lull in activity we played a round of bs (or bullshit, the card game) which I promptly won because I tend to be rather good at it, lol. Pretty soon there were hot dogs for lunch, so I ate one of those since I figured we probably wouldn't be getting dinner for a while, and pretty soon after that I went on a Costco run with some relatives from the other side of the family to get some party supplies. It was my uncle (married to my mom's sister)'s sister, uncle and aunt, all of whom I've met before and know. The uncle and aunt have lived in Alabama for some time now and are older and tend to make inappropriate racial and other comments, so that's always fun (we were talking about my aunt's 5th grade class the other day and out of nowhere he's like "yeah but how many of them are illegals?" Like ???? What does that even have to do with anything??? Ugh). But I was basically going along to be helpful and keep everybody on track because I'm good at these things, lol. We had to get a few side salads, a fruit bowl, a veggie platter, and pick up the cake they had made. So we ended up traversing around Costco for a while trying to find this specific potato saks they wanted, which we eventually did find next to the bacon (because ???) and also got a Greek pasta salad and quinoa salad for variety, then picked up a standard veggie platter and fruit cake, then got the cake. The cake was chocolate cake with chocolate icing, very intense lol. So we go to ring it up and the cashier accidentally types in $350 for the Greek pasta salad (not sure how you make that mistake) so we had to wait to get that fixed, which we mostly just found to be humorous (I'm a big proponent of not getting pissy with people over stupid little mistakes like that). So we left and headed back to the house, where most of the things were set up and ready to go. I helped set up the volleyball/badminton net in the front yard, then ended up playing badminton for a while with my two uncles and my cousin. My dad and his best friend are really into badminton, and we had a court set up in my backyard for YEARS when I was growing up every summer, so playing was a daily occurrence for me, and though it's been some time I'm still pretty dang good at it. The others did not have the same experience, and I was constantly hitting it too hard and too far for them, so I was trying to go easy but it didn't always work, lol. I'm so competitive though that it at least made me happy to be winning, lol. After a while we switched to volleyball, which I'm decidedly NOT good at, but neither was anyone else haha and after a while I started to get the hang of it a bit, so that was good. I tried kicking it at one point but not doing it too hard, but ended up almost kicking it into the neighbors yard lol (once a soccer player, always a soccer player). Eventually we went back inside and chilled out for a bit, before going to the backyard where we ended up starting a bigger round of bs, and we played several rounds. I didn't fair so well in the first few, tending to pick up a lot of cards, but I was very good at calling other people out and predicting what they would do, much to the chagrin of my uncle who was trying to talk smack to me the whole time (kidding of course) but I kept successfully calling him out and he was getting so mad lol. I ended up winning the last two rounds, going out with two of the correct number card both times, which annoyed all the adults I was playing with (much to my delight). My uncle later (jokingly) accused me of cheating at cards to my mother, but when I challenged him on it he couldn't name one way I was cheating, so I said he was just bitter that I beat him 😂😂. I've really enjoyed playing things like that with the adults and just joking around with them and then finding my sarcasm funny. I tend to come up with witty things to say in larger groups like this that go over fairly well, which always makes me happy. At this point more people were starting to arrive and the party was in full swing, so we all got some food and sat and ate and talked for a while. Eventually I went out front where my cousin was playing volleyball with some friends and just sat and talked with them. We did cake pretty soon after that, and I ended up talking to their neighbor that they're very close with and I've known since she was like 6, but haven't seen in a solid 10 years. She was saying she's studying psychology in college and is possibly interested in working in a juvenile detention center, so I ended up talking to her for a while about that and my experiences with the juvenile justice system and it was a very good talk. Pretty soon after that my cousin opened her gifts, which was nice to watch. We gave her a nice plaque with a bible verse on it to hang in her dorm room, and my brothers (or mostly my older brother, but he let my younger brother sign on too) wound up getting her a book about what your poo is saying to you, and also a very pretty bracelet from Tiffany's, and I think that combination somehow sums up my brother rather well (weird kid that he is). Not that he's ever gotten me anything from Tiffany's....lol, oh well, it's not like I really care that much. The kids were then starting to watch some horror movie on the screen they had set up outside, which is not my cup of tea, so I ended up playing some games with my other cousin and his friends (including the neighbor girl). He's a boy in college and we've never been particularly close, but he's nice enough and we had fun. We did a game called Fibbage first which I'd never played but it's similar to balderdash where it gives you a question and you have to make up and answer and try to get people to guess your answer while you're trying to guess the right one. I didn't do too great the first round but ended up winning the second, so that was good. We then played Quicklash, which was similar, but instead it posed a question and two people gave answers, and the rest voted on which was funniest. This was pretty fun, though the answers tended to get dirty. For a couple of them I was like, stuck, but I ended up getting a few good ones in there- like one question was "what's the name of your new plumbing company?" And I wrote "no shit's too thick" which had everybody rolling with laughter, and there were a couple other good ones so I ended up winning the second round of that too (can you tell I'm a bit competitive?). By the time we finished that the party was mostly wrapping up, so we said goodbyes to everyone then just kind of chilled out for a bit and talked to each other. Maid in Manhattan was on tv, so I sat and watched that for a while while going on my phone, because it's a cute movie, before eventually heading to bed (later than I would've liked, but oh well) and wound up using my boy cousin's axe body wash to shave my legs in the shower because I did not plan that out very well 😂 lol. We're getting up early to go to the beach tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that, but would like to not be too exhausted while there so I think I'll call it a night here. Goodnight dearies. Sleep well.

[cosmosogler]

today i got up kind of late. it’s weird. when it’s time for bed i don’t want to/can’t lay still and fall asleep. then when it’s time to get up i don’t want to get out of bed. it’s really good.

i mostly stayed in my room today... i watched the final pam at asher’s request and that was pretty great. mom and dad went to costco but i didn’t really feel up to going out in public.

mother did not bring home anything i could cook, so i had hummus for dinner. i have three different kinds: red pepper, jalapeno, and, i think, chili. i had tried making mac and cheese for dinner and that didn’t go very well. i don’t think i had even half of what i made.

after dinner i took wiley out for a quick walk. i know he always wants to be out for a long time, but i just haven’t really wanted to go too far. in the next-door neighbor’s yard we found a pigeon. it did not try to walk or fly away when we trotted up to it. before i could stop him wiley was inspecting the bird. the bird still didn’t try to get away. by the time i pulled wiley back i saw a line of drool across the pigeon’s wing. 

i was practically still on our driveway so i went back and rang the doorbell until mom answered. i told her there was an injured bird. she said so? and also “don’t touch it, they carry diseases” (typically untrue) then she went and got dad. dad came out and looked at it. it walked up to us and stood between me and wiley and dad. he said it was probably sick and to leave it alone so it could die in the wild a free bird. i watched it walk out into the street and sit there. when no cars came it picked itself up and walked the rest of the way across and sat in that neighbor’s yard under a car.

i told myself if it was still there when wiley and i got back to the house i would do something. this was... a mistake, probably, but in the long run don’t think it would have mattered. it was on randy’s driveway when we got back. i went inside and looked at some pigeon shelters in the city. then i tried to talk dad into letting me get the pigeon and set up a box for it.

he argued with me about whether or not it’s better to die at home or go to the hospital, when you could potentially survive. it felt weird because i’m not normally the kind of person who wants to live longer. but like, if something is wrong and you can do something about it, you should? while dad kept talking i went and got a box and went in the garage with mom complaining behind me from her room. he told me my box was too small and picked up a bigger one and put the rest of the hamster’s padding on the bottom. i carried the box across the street and the bird was dead. 

i kind of crouched next to it for a minute, then i went back home and told dad it was dead. he asked “really?” and it was like... why doesn’t anyone believe me when i tell them things? first it was mom and her coworkers in the office about whether or not that broken web site was working or not, it took them like a whole hour to confirm it was in fact not working. waste of my time.

dad came over to check for himself and poked it with a rock. then he rolled it over to the rocks next to randy’s driveway and left it there. i suggested we bury it in the backyard, it wouldn’t be difficult, and he said to throw it over our backyard fence into the ranch land so the coyotes could eat it. he ended up leaving it on the rocks though.

when we got inside dad made a joke about the bird and my mom cried out with “i told her not to do it! i TOLD her not to do it! i can’t believe she brought that thing in the house.” i stared at her from the living room. dad told her the bird had died. 

i don’t feel... guilty about the bird dying. if i had rescued it earlier i think it would have died around the same time. i wouldn’t have been able to keep it alive overnight to take it to a wildlife rescue. i feel guilty because, i didn’t help the bird until it was too late, just because my parents said not to. how far does the “not my business” philosophy extend? if i saw someone getting mugged, would i step in? how could i help in that situation except by calling someone else for help? would i do it even if it put me in danger?

i hope i know the answers to those questions, but the uncertainty leaves me feeling kind of cold and empty. especially since i just did what mother said AGAIN, even though i knew it wasn’t what i should have done. i let dad talk me into thinking i could just let the bird disappear and not worry about it if i didn’t see it again. he was like, it would still be alive in my imagination if i didn’t see it die. i told him i wasn’t that young any more and he said he wasn’t either but he still wanted to think that way.

“it’s just a pigeon,” one of them said. “yeah, so let’s go,” i had replied. at least, i think i did... i was thinking it. 

i cut my face in the bathroom. just ripped a whole chunk of skin off. i didn’t even manage to scratch out what i was annoyed about. even though i was proud of how well my chin and neck and cheeks were healing from last time and how i’d managed to not pick at them for days at a time. impulse is weird.

anyway, i spent most of the evening training some pokemon on the side of watching tv. i noticed that my game still seems to be acting very strangely. i was going through the elite four over and over, and you have a 1/8 chance of getting whatever challenger comes to battle you for the champion title. but i got the same guy 7 or 8 times in a row. i lost count. the first three times i was like, ok whatever, it’s happened before, but by 5 i was weirded out. then it kept happening.

i’m gonna see if the date rolling over again fixed anything. everything else seems to be working normally... wild pokemon are randomized, my festival plaza was fine if a little unlucky today, the time in the pelago was passing normally. now that the date’s changed the pelago didn’t suddenly decide i had been away for over two days, so that’s a good sign.

no matter what i searched about it on google i could not find any explanation for what happened. no one else on the entire internet has said it happened to them. the list of possible glitches in the game didn’t mention anything like it. given the date, it may have been some sort of prank? but that would have been mentioned somewhere too, i’d think.

diogi isn’t doing well at all. she can’t walk anywhere. she can’t even stand up for more than a few seconds. dad put the baby gate up at the bottom of the stairs so she couldn’t try to climb them any more. while i was downstairs having a snack around 9 she was crying and barking every now and then and looking over at me. dad’s gonna take her to mike, hopefully sometime next week. i don’t think she just has arthritis any more. jake had really similar problems with his back legs toward the end, and that was a neurological thing. i thought about investing in doggy wheels, but i don’t think she’d be able to adjust and our house isn’t really built for something that wide. and she would probably only need it for a little while...

i think eve’s leg is sort of starting to bother her too. she was looking at it earlier and she’s been licking at it now and then when she doesn’t pay much attention to her other back leg. 

i heard a song about someone mourning their dead dog earlier today and i burst into tears. 

i had meant to drink some alcohol but i kind of got wrapped up in watching game grumps and forgot to continue my intake after the first, like, sip. diogi just fell down in the hallway twice. 

last night i had miserable dreams. i don’t know why i didn’t want to get up in the morning after an... adventure... like that. i was at a school for space wizards? i wasn’t really participating in classes, since i couldn’t remember where i was going long enough to get anywhere. there was one student who was trying to end the universe by summoning a black hole. i was trying to stop him or alert the authorities but i couldn’t focus... i kept getting lost in the halls and trapped in non sequitur cutaways. one exchange really stuck out in my memory but the image going with it is kind of nonsensical. i was looking at a computer simulation of two black holes orbiting each other and everything around them was falling in. a teacher said something about different black holes and i said “there’s only one void.” like it doesn’t matter which hole it falls in, everything ends up in the same place. 

i didn’t really care about what happened to me... but i knew i had to stop the black hole wizard. not everyone wants to not be alive. at the end i think i was laying against a wall on a cobblestone road, but it was on a set of pillars. i was looking at the teacher i had teamed up with, and the boy was floating next to the road, and the black hole was there. it was breaking apart the road. i was so tired. then i woke up.

dang... i got a boost to my chances at the lottery for today and i got the lowest prize. then i got “lucky” and got another try, and got the second lowest prize. nice.

i don’t really have anything else to talk about right now. i’m not feeling too well. i was stressed out about some health stuff, but it seemed to go away by the time i had lunch. now my face just hurts. well, the cut hurts. i haven’t been able to get comfortable all day. my feet can’t seem to turn quite right and also the texture of the carpet and plastic rolly chair was bugging me. and my hands and arms are super dry because i’ve been washing my hands too much and my wrists and knuckles are cracked and bleeding. that’s pretty uncomfortable too. lotion doesn’t seem to be helping.

time for bed. laying down has been miserable the last few days. something in my gut isn’t working properly and it just... doesn’t feel good to lay down. and my back always hurts even when i do lay down. and i always have to get up 45 minutes after i go to bed because i can’t finish going to the bathroom the first time i try. that’s been happening 4-5 times a week for like two months. and i still get too nauseous to eat a few bites into my meals at least once a day whether i remember to take my meds or not.

judging from the stuff that’s still happening, despite the pain being mostly gone i still feel like something is wrong and it’s not going away and it’s making everything really difficult. if i’m out with wiley for too long it starts to kinda hurt.

i dunno. i’m going for real this time. no matter when i start writing these journals and how quick i think i’ll be, i always seem to finish just before 1. and then it takes me until after 2 to fall asleep, and then i try and fail to get up at 9:30 the next morning, and so it goes.

[lakesandquarries]

Great White Gravity - Chapter Three

Pairings: taako/kravitz, taako & angus mcdonald Characters: taako, kravitz, angus mcdonald Other Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, sazed sucks, ango and his 2 dads, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, sad boys Warnings: sazed, ptsd Summary: In the aftermath of the goblet, Taako tries to deal. Other Notes: hella spoilery. title from “lifeline” by imogen heap it’s Gay Time y’all

AO3

Kravitz arrives a couple minutes later with his usual dramatics. A tear appears in the space in front of Taako, followed by a very handsome man with dark skin and darker hair stepping out. Taako gives an appreciative whistle.

“Hey there, handsome,” he says, holding up his head with his hand, conjuring the slightest of breezes so his hair looks absolutely perfect.

Kravitz looks taken aback as he holds up his hands and lets his scythe dissolve. Taako is loving the dramatics. “This looks fantastic, Taako,” he says.

“Made it myself,” Taako says with a wink.

“All of it?” Kravitz asks, his beautiful and slightly creepy eyes going wide.

“All of it. ‘Cept the wine, I bought that.” He leaves out the part where he bought it a month ago at Fantasy Costco.

“Wow,” Kravitz says.

“Take a seat, my dude, dig in,” Taako says, waving his hand over the food with a flourish.

Kravitz smiles at him, a little awkward, and sits down. It’s a good thing Magnus built all the chairs in the suite, as Kravitz is at least as tall as him. Plus, he’s got wide shoulders and muscular arms (or at least, the parts Taako can see are muscular), and the rest of him is probably just as bad, and Taako desperately wants to rip off this boy’s ridiculous tie and fancy shirt, because damn.

Patience, he reminds himself. “Good things come to those who wait,” or some shit. He gives Kravitz another flirty grin and wink, passing him the wine bottle. “Will you do the honour?” he asks, and Kravitz seems confused for a moment.

“Oh! Right,” he says. He picks up the corkscrew and uncorks the bottle in one smooth, graceful movement, then pours the wine into two cups. Taako picks his up, holding it out.

“A toast,” he says.

“To what?” Kravitz asks, holding his cup up.

“Fuck, I don’t know. To all this shit I cooked.”

Kravitz laughs, and fuck if that isn’t a sound Taako wants to hear again and again. His laughter isn’t like the rest of him. It’s not fancy and proper. It’s just….it’s genuine. Unfiltered and raw.

Taako realizes he’s staring, and quickly drains his cup. He gets up, grabs a plate, and starts piling spaghetti onto it, setting it back down on the table.

“Only one plate,” he says, with yet another wink. Kravitz frowns.

“You don’t have more plates?”

Taako waves his hand dismissively. “One’s plenty.” He’s not entirely sure his winking is still voluntary at this point. He probably looks like an idiot, one eye constantly winking at Kravitz and insisting there’s also one plate and fuck, has Kravitz even seen Lady and the Tramp?

Now’s not the time for panic, he reminds himself. Bottle that shit up.

He looks at Kravitz, who has begun eating with serious enthusiasm. Still trying to seem all fancy and proper, yes, but he keeps looking at Taako like he’s worried he’s gonna get caught doing something stupid.

Taako very deliberately grabs the opposite end of a noodle that Kravitz has in his fork and starts slurping it.

Kravitz bursts into laughter, dropping his fork. “Is that why you insisted on one plate?” he asks, putting his hand to his mouth to stifle his laugh. “Are you trying to re-enact Lady and the Tramp?”

“Uh, yeah,” Taako says. “What other reason is there to eat spaghetti on a date?”

“You may have a point,” Kravitz says, still chuckling. “You are a very…interesting person, Taako.”

“You’re not bad yourself,” Taako says.

“And you’re quite the chef. I haven’t eaten food in a fairly long time, I’ll admit, but this is exquisite.”

(“This is exquisite,” Sazed had said one night. They’d been travelling for half a year together, but Sazed was still just as complimentary as he’d been the night they met, always lavishing Taako with praise.

“You’re exquisite,” he’d continued, a slow smile spreading across his face, and Taako had smiled back. They had a room at an inn that night, a nice one, with only one bed, and Sazed had repeated himself once they were under the covers - “you’re exquisite, you’re beautiful, you’re amazing” - and Taako had soaked it up like it was genuine.

They’d had spaghetti that night. Sazed’s lips had tasted like marinara, and his cheeks had been red to match, and it’d seemed like nothing bad could ever happen.)

“Taako?” Kravitz asks, voice breaking through Taako’s thoughts. “Are you alright?”

No, he’s not. He’s never okay, but he nods anyways. Kravitz looks concerned, taking another bite of pasta.

Another bite of food Taako had made. He’d transmuted that tomato, he’d used magic on the noodles, what was he thinking? Kravitz loads up another forkful and this time Taako reaches out and snatches the fork away before he can eat it.

“Taako?” Kravitz says, looking concerned.

“I used magic to make this!” Taako nearly shouts. “It’s not - oh god, I’m such an idiot, why did I think this was a good idea? I might’ve fucked it up, I probably fucked it up!”

“Ta-”

“Are you feeling okay? Fuck, I knew this was a bad idea, I knew this was a mistake, I tried to act like this was some fuckin’ romantic garbage but actually I’m just an asshole and I thought I’d cook for you cause if I fuck up you’re already dead! God, what a fucking dick thing to do, right? Fuck.” He’s babbling, he can tell, but he can’t stop the words from pouring out. He shuts his eyes, half to keep from crying, half to keep from having to look at Kravitz.

“What are you-” Kravitz starts, but Taako interrupts.

“I used to be a professional chef, had a cooking show and everything, but then I fucked everything up and killed forty people, except it wasn’t actually my fault, except it was, and now I’m scared to cook anything but I’m so fucking tired of being scared! And -”

“Taako!” Kravitz says, loudly. “Taako, stop. I can barely understand what you’re saying.”

“I killed forty people,” Taako says.

“I know,” Kravitz says.

“I - Hold on. What?”

“Taako, I work for the goddess of death. We have files on everyone, and if someone was involved in the death of another, that goes into their file. I may have…..done some digging, before I actually met with you and your friends. And when I looked at your file, that specific incident was mentioned.”

“So it was my fault,” Taako murmurs.

“No, it wasn’t. It was that...other man’s. Your file merely labels you a witness and accidental accomplice.”

“Huh,” is all Taako says to that.

“None of those deaths were on you, Taako.”

“Okay,” Taako says, feeling very small and embarrassed.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Taako says, and then Kravitz places his hand on Taako’s and he looks up.

“It’s alright if you aren’t,” he says, voice soft and smooth. “I understand. We can…take things slowly, yes?”

“Sure,” Taako says. “If that’s what you need, I mean. I’m fine. But if you want to take things slow, yeah, I can work with that.”

“Okay.” Kravitz moves his hand, leaning back in his chair. He keeps an eye on Taako as he takes his fork back. “Is it alright if I keep eating?”

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.”

Kravitz returns to his food, looking up at Taako again after a moment. “How was your day?” he asks, and Taako rolls his eyes and tells him about waking up on the floor and falling asleep on Magnus, which reminds him of a different story when Magnus tripped over a napping Merle, and slowly things start to feel good again.

Talking to Kravitz is easy. Comfortable. He laughs at the right moments (and god his laugh is cute) and his face is so beautifully expressive as he listens.

“So, Merle fell off, and I knew the perfect spell, so I made a phantom steed appear, his name is Garyl and he’s beautiful, and -”

Kravitz’s Stone of Farspeech starts to make noise. A lot of noise. Kravitz goes red and takes it out of his pocket.

“Yes? But - Yes, I know, I know. I - Okay. I’ll be there in half an hour? Okay. Thank you.”

“Gotta go?” Taako asks.

“Unfortunately,” Kravitz sighs, standing up. “But before I go….” He walks to Taako’s chair, placing his hand on Taako’s jaw, and he melts. “Taako, can I kiss you?”

“Oh, hell yes,” Taako says, and Kravitz leans in.

His lips are freezing, almost icy, like kissing an ice cube. But not in an unpleasant way. He tastes like smoke and pasta and cold, and his mouth feels soft, and Taako doesn’t pull away until he absolutely has to.

Kravitz puts his hand on his lips, like being kissed might have changed their texture. He seems almost dazed, smiling absently.

“Krav?” Taako asks, and he shakes his head.

“Right, yes. I need to go. Can I see you again?”

“Yeah, but it might be a few days before I can think of another way to keep Magnus and Merle out.”

“You do realize I can tear holes in the fabric of space and bring you anywhere you want, right?”

“Uh, no? But that opens up a whole new world of possibilities, so nice.” He presses a kiss to Kravitz’s cheek. “I’ll come up with something good. Really good. And no, uh, emotional breakdowns. Just some sweet makeouts and all that good shit.”

Kravitz kisses Taako’s forehead. Taako dies, a little. “It’s alright to have emotions, Taako. I’ll be seeing you, then?”

“Definitely,” Taako says, and Kravitz nods, stepping away from him, his scythe materializing in his hands. He rips a tear in the air in front of him, and with a final glance back at Taako, disappears into it.

[vickeyeppunitarj42insurance-blog]

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[groupie-inspired]

Thoughts about love & the past

It’s late and I’m just like thinking about old shit

And about how like, the closest I ever came to being in a relationship was with this girl like from 7th grade-summer before freshman year.

Like idk it was kind of weird I still don’t fully even know what it was about... like she made me mixtapes. I was so in love with her too, I don’t even know if she knew about it until the very end, or maybe we just like didn’t talk about it because we couldn’t really. She gave me her Starbucks frappuccino at my birthday party before we went to the movies, and even though I’m fucking afraid of germs, I didn’t care because it was her. She would practice guitar while we face timed and she would keep playing smoke on the water and I would have to hang up because it like, drove me insane. She said she thought she was bi once and I was like... okay... and she was like...idk. And the thing too is like, we would talk about shit (cough cough) that maybe friends don’t always talk about. 

She was the first person who I knew who really cared about bands and shit, for her it was one direction and 5SOS and I didn’t get it because I hated 1D and 5SOS. She had a breakdown when 1D broke up. She would get to the 5SOS concerts around soundcheck, and she told me she’d get there when the groupies got there. I didn’t even know what that was, at that point. I don’t think she liked them much. One time I cried because I felt like I didn’t deserve her. She bought me a picture I still have on a shelf in my room, of Times Square. I bought her so much shit for Christmas, because I was like obsessed with her, and she got me a pandora bracelet. One time a rumor started that she was a lesbian and it was so stupid. I took pictures of her in the snow outside an ice skating rink. She taught me how to download music illegally, but I was too scared to do something “bad”. She gave me a yin/yang bracelet from Costco or something and even though it broke I couldn’t part with it, and kept it in my desk drawer.

But towards the end she started ignoring me and shit and that sent me into a tailspin and I was like. What is even going on? And she was like, I think I’m depressed. And I was like yeah but so am I and I don’t ignore you (because I couldn’t). And then at one point I was sitting in the car in a Boston Market parking lot and she called me and started talking about a guy she was interested in or whatever and I was just like. Oh, okay. Because that hadn’t really been a thing prior to that, like neither of us really did that shit that much. She came to my 14th birthday party and didn’t even fuckin get me anything, but she lied about it first. There was a lot of shit that wasn’t the greatest in our friendship or whatever it was, because I thought she was so much better than me and she stayed with the same people who made me feel that way for years. She would say that I was special to her but it didn’t always feel that way.

Anyway, things ended on bad terms, I cut her off. She messaged me months later to see how I was doing, and I was an asshole. Because I couldn’t take it, you know, and I wasn’t doing good. I’ve never felt love like that for anyone else since her. Even the smell of her laundry detergent calmed me, it was like she couldn’t do anything wrong in my eyes. Like people always talk about first loves, and usually they happen for people in high school or something, but I maintain that mine was then. Because it’s never been the same, for some reason. And I’m really fucking picky in general, the only other person I like, kind of liked was this guitarist I met in at an acting class in Manhattan. He seemed like a confused n wishy washy dude. Wasn’t clear about shit. That was just like a fuckin blip, nothing came of it after three months. Lowkey, I think I was trying to replace her or something. I think she’s where my preference for artsy people comes from, and I guess because I’m also an artsy person. It’s weird how we don’t recognize people shaping us until after it’s happened. I remember dancing to Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles at her grandma’s appartment. I mean, she opened me up to a lot of music I hadn’t really heard before, and I remember adults were always telling me I should sing because I was good at it. But at the time I didn’t have any of that confidence. I think she expanded my mind but then we started to hold each other back.

I don’t think about it too often. Or I guess I don’t look back fondly. Mostly, I’m kind of worried that people will leave me like she did, and I don’t want to feel that deeply again because it hurts really bad when someone leaves you like that. I never belonged anywhere and I wasn’t even sure I belonged with her but it felt like it worked sometimes.

And now I’m in a place where like, people my age infuriate me.

I’ve had like, other “blips” I guess, aside from the guitarist but they weren’t really anything. Like this girl from my religion class would like always say “hi” to me and shit, and she would like be like idk, different?? She was really pretty but she had a boyfriend and he was like, the most basic person ever. But who am I to judge that, I guess. The only guy who’s ever consistently been in my life is this friend of mine who I’ve known for like 12 years, but I would never be with him romantically because it isn’t like that. He can be a chronic mansplainer. He’s the type who, like two weeks ago, when I tried to tell him about this guy I wasn’t sure about just went: “NO. Stop, Lena, you’re making a mistake! Don’t do it! I swear to god, you better not! You’re so self destructive.” I tolerate him though because he’s basically my brother, at this point. He reminds me of my dad, honestly, only I guess he can be more reliable in some ways. I’ve got a few close friends besides him, but everyone else is an acquaintance I keep at arms length. I feel like I have acquaintances I don’t even fuckin know about, cause people will say hi to me in the hall and I have no idea who they are. When I was in middle school, no guys liked me because I was fat and politically conscious.

And also, I’m generally kind of “out there”, I guess. A guy I saw at a party recently said he thought I was weird when he was in 7th grade & I was in 8th, but then he realized that he’s weird too. I went to volunteering yesterday, and this girl I talk to was like, “How’s it going?” and I was like “OOF I have so much to talk about!” and she was kind of like “LMAO, you? I’m shocked.” Because if I like you as a person, I never shut the fuck up. But if I don’t like you, I seem like I never speak.

Existing is weird, and I kind of don’t know how I feel about it cause it’s been really difficult for me thus far. Things might be getting better, but I have no idea. I just don’t wanna waste my time anymore on people who don’t get me, or who are potentially only trying to fuck me or something. Because I don’t allow that shit, that’s not who I am, despite the fact that I’m not a prude. If it’s going to be like that, I’m the person who’s going to decide it’s going to be like that. Not anybody else. And also, people act like I’m frigid or something because I have a rule about Republicans. I will never date a fucking Republican. A conservative wouldn’t even like me either, because few things about me as a person align with those ideals. Even if it’s just an acquaintance situation, there’s always extra distance between me and any given Republican, so I can look at them disdainfully in APUSH when they say something about “a decline in morality”.

Which is like, a lot of this shit is probably why I don’t get dates or anything, but I’m still a really friendly and nice person. I always want people who are being excluded to feel included, because I know what that feels like, I don’t give a shit if they’re annoying.

I’ve had like other weird things where like I was never sure or like still am not sure about what’s going on. There’s this bassist who goes to my school and last year we walked to the bus together a couple times and discussed our mutual disdain of nazis. There’s this other guy who would like pat me on the back and shit, and one time I didn’t know he was behind me and got scared, but I don’t see him as often anymore cause we don’t really have classes together. This kid who’s obsessed with like anime and shit wanted to be around me all the time last year, and then I started avoiding him because I had morning classes and had to get stuff done, but then he sat with me again recently and I was like... I don’t know what to do. The weird part is, all three of these guys have the same FUCKING NAME. I don’t wanna say what it is but they deadass all have the same fucking name. I truly don’t understand how that happened.

My life is kind of empty right now as it is. My psychiatrist, who I unfortunately hate, says that maybe I don’t get dates cause I’m not open enough. And I’m like one, I barely care. Two, I have shit to do. Three, no adults in my life would approve of the people who do like me. What am I supposed to do, put a sign on my back or some shit? God I swear she says some really dumb shit sometimes and I try to be respectful but she can never remember anything about me and it drives me crazy. She always asks me so many questions, and I have a hard time answering questions. But I gotta keep her around because my therapist only has certain permissions. Also, I mentioned being bi once, and she said some bs about Freud and how I would eventually pick, and then asked about my “”thoughts”” and I was like LMAO nope. My true nature is to be a romantic but my life experiences gave me trust issues n shit. Sometimes my therapist will say I have to deal with the past if I want to be comfortable with having a relationship or something, and I tried it for a few weeks, but it made me feel awful so I stopped it. Now I just push it to the back of my mind cause it’s easier that way, and I more so wait for shit to come to me rather than me going to anyone else. But, ultimately, I think I could be a fun person to be around I guess.

[geek-gem]

Now further thoughts on Doom 2016

8:49 pm I feel now it is the best time to say it. Doom is fucking amazing.

Yet also me wanting to talk more about the experience spoilers in case and think I heard my dad sneeze. Also okay just yawned and got out of this text thing before or was it the submit. Meh I was looking at activity and what people have uploaded or reblogged well people I follow seriously my stomach.

Now I'll talk about the whole voices thing. So basically unless the character mainly shows themselves voices are not heard restarted the first mission twice. The only characters I've heard talk are this Olivia Pierce of this pre recorded message, this Samuel character when you first see what he looks like and this Vega character he asks to now share the details of what's going on.

Yet honestly everything else works very well. Such as gameplay and even the whole glory kills I seriously like. Honestly I did glory kills a lot to mainly save ammo. But also just at times kind of difficult okay something or shit I really hate. Weirdly was thinking of Teen Titans Go despite I see the show at times and even if I'm not the biggest fan of the original show. Just how the new show is bothers me or just.....I don't really hate it. Okay I'm sorry mainly was thinking okay everyone hates that.

That is seriously some random bullshit I said. Yet seriously the games awesome as all fuck almost left the word duck lol smiled a bit it's normal.

Including I honestly hope as times goes on my interest only increases. Seriously I think it was today I was thinking I wonder if the original games are on Steam. Including seeing the awesome mods they have on Left 4 Dead 2 besides the BFG Division theme for the common infected beautiful.

Including for the time almost left 46 but seriously really nice game. This time I sat in my chair and turned up the volume even one time at 20 and it was really loud then to 12 and to 10 when the Olivia Pierce recording popped up.

Seriously I honestly enjoy these glory kills just really didn't need to think of Robin the TTG one when just....meh I have issues just it's a video game. I'm fighting demons which is amazing. Including I wanted to try another first person shooter out and seeing well mainly that music and now thinking about it. The Doom franchise okay just yawned it honestly appeals to me. Just the way it's set up and how insane it is. Meh and have to remember it's demons I'm fighting. I think I was trying to get in the mood I'm angry at something so I try to think of shit I hate. Yet TTG is a show I don't really hate that much. But bothered by how it's made and written. Seriously awesome kick ass game no tags. I turned off the PS4 despite stalling a bit after I finished the 2nd mission, "Discover The Cause" forgot what else but thinking just don't like the thoughts of hurting characters I like. Was thinking of OK KO ones and just....okay I guess just retyped that show title a bit. Maybe I'm tired a bit despite I went to bed early by mistake last night oh nose I'm okay.

Yet also wanted to say no tags. My stomach just might be the nice two pepperoni Costco pizza slices with a cherro and two Diet Dr. Pepper's one a can and another a bottle that was in the fridge thing outside.

Damn now I'm thinking of things that piss me off. 9:05 pm stalling put pm many times. Might as well mention that I seriously like the Doom Guy and want him as a Mortal Kombat guest character. Despite the jokes would be he would just kill everyone. Had my right arm up a bit. Honestly people complained about the horror characters. Despite I honestly like them and I remember people wanted Jason and Predator after Freddy was a DLC.

Including seriously almost left Foom like the title at first and phone put Food forgot it if lowercased f. Yet sorry just he's a video game character and we might not get characters like Sweet Tooth from Twisted Metal, Colonel Mael Radec from Killzone 2, a Chimera Hybrid from the Resistance series almost left Killzone or the Hunter from Bloodborne. Seriously before I started to talk about these characters. I realized I got off topic.

Including those ideas just..... PlayStation quest characters people....and I just....I'm gonna look in case.

9:11 pm wrote down 11 three or four times. I just looked two pages of ps all stars battle royale 2 and still nothing from Paris Games Week...so it says it's a week and Friday seems to be the last day. If that shit isn't announced yet I'm gonna be pissed. While I try not to trust but yeah mainly ignore rumors sometimes and watch videos by people who try to make sure if it's real or not. Before Marvel Vs Capcom Infinite was announced their were rumors of fourth game. Now I'm thinking of putting ps all stars battle royale 2 in the title no thanks.

Including I've heard and read it's from a reliable source that have gotten news for other games right. Even a Until Dawn 2 is rumored yes well no one is asking sorry or just I know the story to that game oh head....

I just want PlayStation All Stars Battle Royale 2 9:15