#i also love the 'ah stan's family we meet at last!' later in the episode but it didn't quite work in this clip

[atalana]

we can talk about buy gold bye all day but in retrospect this is my favourite bill moment from dreamscaperers, because he is having One Of The Days Ever

like you get summoned back to gravity falls for the first time in thirty years, already an excellent start (it is good to be back!)

and to make it even better, you know that one human you had every kind of relationship at once with and whose mind you know inside out but then he realised your true plans and tried to break up with you so you spent several weeks torturing him and now he's been MIA for said thirty years? of the all the jobs this random kid could possibly want from you, you're being hired to go break into his mind and steal from him

(been there done that kid!)

except plot twist! they don't actually mean that guy. they mean his identical twin brother who's been assuming his identity since then

and we get to watch bill have the realisation in real time that not only has he just worked out exactly what happened, he is the only person other than stan himself who has enough information to do so!

(this should be fun)

[felicia-cat-hardy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

Get Relationship Advice Here

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

[miellekingsleigh]

Sarah @taylovessarah

About Me:

I'm Sarah. I'm 17 and currently stuck in the teen-almost adult stage right now. I'm from India, I was born in the beautiful state of Kerala aka God's Own Country and now I'm currently in Mumbai for my studies. I'm a pre-med student who's gonna be writing her medical entrance exam next year, looking forward to a career in the medical field where I could dedicate myself into helping people, both physically and emotionally which I've always wished to. I'm a Cat lady who loves cats so much. And also my guilty pleasure is to watch endless episodes of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. I love to write, I'm an old-fashioned girl who still writes in her journals/diaries about my life. Also did I mention I love reading books, a good book is my best friend. I have a thing for 7 just like Taylor has for 13. I'm a Christian and I deeply believe that he can mould me into a tool which he can use to heal people and bring them closer to God.

My Era :

I became a fan in the Debut Era and became a Swiftie later in the End of Debut Era and Start of Fearless Era.

So in 2006 I was 4 years old when I got introduced to Taylor, yes, I was so young. My parents used to go to work so my grandparents were there to take care of me, it's a daily routine for them to listen to local radio to hear the news, it was so monotonous, I felt it so boring, so I changed the radio station, and the next moment I never changed it... Because I loved the sound of the guitar and the angelic voice which I was listening, later I came to know I was listening to Tim McGraw and when they announced her name, all I could grasp was Tay...So at a tender age, whatever I could grasp at that age, listening to the radio I drew pictures, like for Teardrops on my Guitar, I drew a guitar and drew tears like rain, the lyrics which had simple words I learnt the songs.. especially the chorus of A Place In This World, I'll still Remember singing it with my childish voice, I never understood a word but now this song still resonates with me.

And yes, I never saw Taylor because all I knew was her voice, I imagined her as a Angel and I always thought how she would be looking. But that didn't take long because one day my Grandma was switching channels on the TV and I kind of recognised her voice and I asked my grandma not to change the channel, that's the first time I saw her in a Lavender Dress looking like a Princess, yes, I saw you for the first time in Our Song, she was Everything that I imagined.. and that's the first time I read the name Taylor Swift, but the child-like me Screamed it's Tay not Taylor, that's when my grandma made me understand that her Name is Taylor and I call her Tay.. and I still do haha.

So yes, I listened to her songs on the Radio and watched the MVs on TV and one day on September 10, 2008 ( I remember that because of my scribbled papers) I decided to make Taylor my best friend, infact she are my first friend, because I was a lonely soul who never had friends and you were always there to comfort me, and I promised myself I'll stand by her forever and I'll love her so much because back then for a young 6 year old me, the relationship with a best friend was valued the most...and with that I became a Swiftie ...So that's when I became a Swiftie...

The first ever album I've ever owned of Taylor and also me and Taylor twinning

Rep Era was the Era when I decided to stop hiding behind and watching everytime silently, and made my place as a Swiftie on Social Media. At first, I thought I would be left out and no one would care, but later I've made so many amazing friends. And, through Taylor I have found my best and real friends, who love me as who I am, I'm so blessed to be a part of this Swiftie Family and I wish to meet all of them for real one day.

Lover Era, ah the whole era is so special because as I said earlier, 7 is my lucky number and this is Taylor's 7th Album. Ever since Rep Tour ended I made myself believe that TS7 is my Era and Taylor will finally know that I exist. I got to know that on 16th July 2019, when Taylornation DMed me on Tumblr ( I'm still surprised because I've never understood how to use Tumblr, and I still keep wondering how did Taylor find Me among so many Swifties, I guess only Taylor knows) with a CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE, and the feeling was just so magical. I was invited to Lover Secret Sessions in London and I felt that things were finally going to Change but due to many unfortunate circumstances, I couldn't go to London. I felt very sad and brokenhearted that day but I still believe that someday I'll meet Taylor and tell her everything in my heart and that moment would be just beautiful and perfect. Then on 14th October here, Taylor liked my post and she officially gave me my first ever Taylor Notice. Also I truly believe she officially recognised my name as "Miss INDIAna and The Desi Princess" and since then, life has never been the same.

My First Ever Taylor Notice

Song that Inspired Me ( aka my Stan Song) :

So one day Change played on my TV and I loved it so much, and since I was 10, I could understand the lyrics and quite the past few years, it was strengthened me and made me so optimistic in life even if there were hard times and actually saved my life, when I thought to end it all because I was so hopeless, the last thing I did was play my playlist and Change was the first song that came in, and I cried my heart out, believed in every single word Tay sang, and I decided not to end my life and to live with optimism and confidence, Fearlessly no matter what. For me that's the song which saved my life and made me rethink about my decision of ending it all, it was like a new beginning of life for me..It means more than the world to me.

And yes, the day Taylor sang Change at Rep Tour Foxborough 27.07.18, I felt like she sang it for me, because ever since I have joined Tumblr I have been literally requesting her to sing Change, sending her messages (which I thought she'll never see) and you did...I DIED. I literally dreamed about you singing Change at Rep Tour Foxborough because Foxborough holds a special place in my heart because Fearless Tour Foxborough was the first tour I have ever attended Virtually.

My Concert Experience :

Well since Taylor has never come to India, I've never seen her perform for real, but I really hope Lover is the Era for us Indian Swifties and she does come to India so that me and my Indian Swiftie friends could see her for the first time and experience the magic and cherish the memories (fingers crossed)

Even though I've never attended a concert for real, I've been attending her Tours ever since Fearless Tour Foxborough, Virtually, because of my cousin who Skyped it for me to experience it... and I lived every single moment of the two hours and when it ended I cried... because it was her last Fearless Tour and my first... and that started my journey of attending tours virtually via Skype, YouTube and reading updates on my mom's Twitter, now it's my own Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram which still continues my virtual attendance for almost all of them since then.

Message To Taylor :

Thank you so much for just being YOU, thank you so much for everything you've given me so precious and beautiful...Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, for the past 13 years and Forevermore. Thank you for believing in me when no one else did. Even in my worst times, you saw the best in me and helped me to believe in myself. Thank you for being the Angel who CHANGED my Life Completely.

Wishing your 30th year is full of love, happiness, growth, success, strength, comfort and a lot of beautiful moments, memories and precious bonds to Cherish. You inspire infinite people like me to change the world one small step at a time with Kindness and Love..I'm just so proud of you and your incredible achievements Tay and I'm so happy that you're better than you ever was. Have the best year ever. You make me believe in the dreams that are impossible and hopefully I could make them all come true. Hoping that one day you could follow me back here and share with you more about me and my life.

Thank you so much for being my best friend and believing in me. Thank you for letting me know that you know me after 13 years ( I never thought in my wildest dreams that you'll ever know that I exist, a girl only dreamed about it) and you wished to meet me, but hopefully one day we will and that would be just BEAUTIFUL and PERFECT. I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you. And I know these things will CHANGE and I feel it will happen with all my heart. You're my whole world and I hope you know that.

I love you so much Tay and I'll stand by you Forevermore. And most of all, thank you so much for being my best friend. I'm so blessed to have you in my life and I thank God for bringing this beautiful and loving Angel into my life.

My Socials : Twitter : taylovessarah13

Instagram : taylovessarah

[fortunatelylori]

J0nereys in Winterfell: Let’s make this as uncomfortable as possible for everyone, shall we?

Right before the premiere, the Ds decided to stoke the dying ambers of the J0nereys relationship by saying that they didn’t have time to develop Jon and D*ny’s relationship in season 7, despite dedicating almost 5 episodes to it. But, now, they say, now we’re really going to see Jon and D*ny’s relationship blossom.  

So let’s see how Jon and D*ny spend their time now that they’re “together, together”.  (lolz ... they sound like toddlers).

Jon and D*ny share 5 scenes in this episode and they run the gambit from the strange and ridiculous to the deeply, deeply disturbing. And as with most of their scenes, they’re never really alone. Something always encroaches on the relationship in order to add another new layer of just sheer and utter desolation.

The “skip the awe and go straight for the fear” scene: 

Gods, this scene is unsettling! Everything from the bleak lighting, to the subdued military music, to the rivers of soldiers marching towards Winterfell. There is nothing triumphant or feel good about this scene. 

In order to fully understand this scene and Jon and D*ny’s reactions, I think we need to remember what D*ny said in season 7. There’s two important lines in there that come into play here. 

The first one is in episode 2 of season 7: 

Tyrion: On a night like this, you came into the world. 

Varys: I remember that storm. All the dogs in King’s Landing howled through the night. 

D*ny: I wish I could remember it. I always thought this would be a homecoming. Doesn’t feel like home. 

Since the start of season 7, D*ny has been chasing an elusive sense of belonging in Westeros while the people of Westeros seem hell bent on denying her that. 

No one in the North is acting directly hostile towards her. They’re just subdued, apprehensive and suspicious, as anyone would when faced with 100.000 foreign soldiers marching through their streets. But D*ny is unable to cope with this reality or even attempt to see things from the Northerns perspective, particularly since at the end of season 7, this is how she viewed her relationship with the North: 

D*ny: I’ve not come to conquer the North. I’m coming to save the North. 

The North has, unfortunately, not been informed of D*ny’s benevolence so D*ny is left feeling slighted by the long faces. Jon, who has now been completely colonized (at least in theory) by D*ny, is so attune to her crazy that he’s quick to offer an explanation and a pained smile: 

Jon: I warned you. Northerners don’t much trust outsiders. 

Yeah ... you also told her that they would come to see her for “what” she is, Jon. Which in D*ny’s world can only mean they will fall in love with her the moment they set eyes on her. No wonder she’s dissapointed. And you have only yourself to blame. 

So ... in the absence of masters to crucify and a crowd of brown people to surf, what is D*ny to do to get that validation she so desperately craves? 

Ah, yes. Good ol’ faithful!

In season 7 D*ny also said this: 

D*ny: They [dragons] were terrifying, extraordinary. They filled people with wonder and awe. 

Let’s see some of that wonder and awe, Winterfell!

People are literally hugging the walls! So I’m assuming not so much wonder and awe but certainly extreme emotions of terror. Well, she got, at least, 1 right. 

The Northerners she’s come “to save” are running away in fear and screaming. D*ny’s reaction: 

How does Jon feel about his “new love of his life” terrifying the people he claims to fight for? Who knows. D*ny’s ego blows him off screen. 

The “diplomacy for dummies” scene: 

You know what it’s like ... first time meeting your partner’s family. You’re sitting right across from them while they ogle you like you’re some kind of alien coming to abduct their precious offspring. You smile and pretend to be deeply invested in washing the dishes even though you eat off plastic plates at home. Hell, you even say you love ironing even if you send everything to be dry cleaned. I mean who has time for that shit, am I right?

Well, D*ny hasn’t had this extremely important life lesson hoisted on her until now. Luckily Tyrion lent her his copy of “Diplomacy for dummies” right before they arrived in Winterfell and she manages to hobble together something akin to a galaxy overlord feigning interest in the mere mortals around her: 

D*ny: Thank you for inviting us into your home, lady Stark. The North is as beautiful as your brother claimed. As are you. 

Honestly, the thing I find most insulting about this line doesn’t even have anything with D*ny, but with the Ds. They’ve already pulled this “woman fake complimenting another woman in order to appease her” shtick with Sansa and Lyanna Mormont. At this point, it seems to me they have no idea how women greet each other. 

Of course, D*ny’s attempt is shut down by a Sansa Stark that has decided to go all yolo on everyone’s asses this episode: 

Bitch, please! I’m way hotter than you. I’ve only spent the last 8 hours getting ready so that Jon eats his heart out when he realizes he’s having sex with the wrong relative. 

This frosty look is followed by a tortured: 

Sansa: Winterfell is yours, Your Grace. 

that has D*ny deciding real quick that in fact the North sucks, Sansa is a traitor and she’s not getting her adoration quota met at all by these ungrateful bastards that she’s come to liberate ... aaa ... save ... aaa ... conquer: 

How does Jon think the meeting of his queen/lover/aunt and his sister-cousin/owner of his heart/bane of his existence went? ..... Footage missing. 

The “Roasting of Jon Snow” scene: 

There is one key line in this scene that encapsulates the entire Jon/D*ny dynamic in this episode and it’s delivered by the Ds favorite misogynistic mouthpiece, one tiny Lyanna Mormont, to Jon Snow:  

Lyanna: Your Grace? But you’re not, are you? You left Winterfell a king and came back a ... I’m not sure what you are now. A lord? Nothing at all? 

Jon: It’s not important. 

Jon is doing his best karoake version of Nothing else matters in this scene (careful, Jon! Metallica is famously prickly about their copyrights) but the fact still remains. Through out this episode, when it comes to his interactions with D*ny, Jon is, in fact, nothing at all. He doesn’t express any opinion, he doesn’t react. He’s essentially dead inside and the woman whom he’s supposedly in love with has cost him everything: his position, the respect of his people, his relationship with his family and, ultimately, even his voice. 

In order to exist in D*ny’s world, Jon needs to make himself small because “it’s not important”. He isn’t important. Only D*ny is important. 

I’m sorry but the Jon Snow I know is a proud man. He’s the guy who was ready to kill someone for calling his father a traitor. Which is why, perhaps, he can’t help but slip in this scene and say this: 

Jon: I had a choice. Keep my crown or protect the North. I chose the North!

Perhaps we can now put to rest the argument that Jon didn’t need to bend the knee since D*ny was already willing to help with the apocalypse. And we should put it to rest not just because Jon basically gives everyone the cliff notes to the political Jon theory but because, most significantly, D*ny doesn’t contradict him. 

She doesn’t stand up in this scene and say: Actually I was ready to fight for you all without Jon Snow bending the knee. 

She also doesn’t take the opportunity to ask Jon about it later on in the episode. That’s because she knows she wouldn’t be in Winterfell if Jon hadn’t bent the knee. 

Tell me again how any of this is romantic? Especially when it ends with: 

Sansa: May I ask? How are we meant to feed the greatest army the world has ever seen? While I ensured our stores will last through winter, I didn’t account for Dothraki, Unsullied and two full grown dragons. 

Hold on there, missy! Where do you think you are? In some kind of democracy where you’re allowed to question the glorious leader?!? Besides, I’ll have you know that D*ny is the very smartest leader evah and she has totally prepared supply chains for her humongous army and ... 

Oh ... Well, Sansa, if you must know I have it on very good authority from D*ny’s stans that the loot train attack was a strategic move on D*ny’s part and she didn’t actually burn any of the food. And now she’s going to tell you just how you’re going to feed all these people, ok? 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway?

D*ny: Whatever they want. 

.....

Yeah, sorry, Sans. D*ny’s a little busy at the moment eating Jon’s soul so you’re going to have to figure it out. 

You know ... when Emilia Clarke said that D*ny would try to make the Starks and the North like her despite the fact that they clearly don’t, I thought it would last more than 5 minutes of screen time. It basically took one frosty look and the smallest bit of attitude for D*ny to begin to threaten the Northerners and Jon’s family members with death via dragon. 

You might wonder how Jon reacts to all of this? And if you are ... what the hell is wrong with you?!? The man is “nothing at all”. We’ve already established that. 

The “expiration date” scenes: 

Davos, bless him, is attempting to save Jon’s reputation and crown despite the brooding bastard’s best efforts to rid himself of both by proposing a marriage alliance between Jon and D*ny at the end of the war. Tyrion is, surprisingly, subdued in this scene despite knowing that Jon and D*ny rubbed love organs together. 

But it’s Varys that really shoots down the idea for whatever reason. It’s a bit early to really figure out why Varys isn’t keen on the idea of Jon and D*ny marrying but he does utter the best bit of J0nereys foreshadow in the whole episode: 

Varys: Respect is how the young keep us at a distance. So we don’t remind them of an unpleasant truth. 

Tyrion: What is that? 

Varys: Nothing lasts. 

Yeah, I’d say there’s more than one unpleasant truth lurking about in Winterfell, my dear Lord Spider. 

I’m pretty sure that at least a few people had an orgasm when the marriage alliance was proposed, feeling as if this all but ensures that J0nereys is endgame. 

But here’s the thing: this idea of a marriage between Jon Snow and Daenerys Targareyen is being introduced too late into the game. This would have made sense back in season 7, before Jon bent the knee. 

Right now, the damage to Jon’s reputation is already done and the whole world is about to find out he’s a Targareyen. How do you think the people of the North will feel about two Targs on the throne? It’s not going to happen. Not only that but since Jon’s claim supersedes D*ny’s, she would never be able to marry him and rule as Queen of the 7 kingdoms. She would have to pick one over the other. 

Which means that all this scene can hope to be is a pleasant smoke and mirrors technique to distract everyone from the fact that J0nereys is essentially whiling their time away before the inevitable grave of the parentage reveal. 

At this point, we’re about halfway through the episode. We’ve already been informed that Jon and D*ny’s relationship won’t last. D*ny is just about ready to let the dragons loose on Sansa and we have yet to have an actual scene of these two people talking. 

So ... what is on our love birds minds? ... Sansa, of course. 

D*ny: Your sister doesn’t like me. 

Jon: She doesn’t know you. If it makes you feel any better, she didn’t like me either when we were growing up. 

When I first heard this line, it really stung that the first piece of personal information Jon shares with D*ny on screen is a rehash of the old “Sansa was mean to Jon when they were children” show invention. However, I’ve come to reconsider this line and for reasons I will touch upon tomorrow in my Jonsa meta, I find this kind of adorable. 

At the moment, let’s just say Jon is trying very hard not to antagonize D*ny and Sansa’s reactions to her are making it difficult which in turn frustrates Jon.

Speaking of: 

D*ny: She doesn’t need to be my friend. But I am her queen. 

(pointed pause)

D*ny: If she can’t respect me ... 

D*ny gets interrupted by the Dothraki that have been sent to feed her dragons so she never finishes what she was going to say. But ... what was she going to say? What kind of punishment does she believe is warranted for Sansa’s frosty reception and food question?

While Sansa is making it very clear she doesn’t like D*ny, she has yet to disrespect her. But as we’ve come to see with D*ny, she no longer knows the difference. Something Jon is painfully aware of. Otherwise why wouldn’t he be more outwardly concerned about his lover threatening his sister to his face? Talk about disrespectful ... 

Also: 

Sansa: What do dragons eat anyway? 

Dothraki: Only 18 goats and 11 sheep. 

Yeah ... let that sink in. 

The “It looked easy when Hiccup was doing it”scene: 

This scene hurts my souuuuuuul! You’d think with the kind of money HBO sunk into this TV show and into the Ds, they’d manage to come up with something other than a lame rip off of How to train your dragon for Jon’s first time riding Rhaegal. 

The cutesy tone feels anachronistic here for several reasons: 

D*ny’s dragons are not Toothless! Toothless is an angel on Earth and I love him to bits. He does not go around burning people to a crisp or killing little girls. The dragons in GOT have been called weapons of mass destruction not just by GRRM but by the Ds themselves. I’m not sure trying to parallel Hiccup with Jon really works in the context in which Jon is basically riding an atomic bomb. 

Also, this is a momentous moment for Jon. He’s about to ride the dragon that was named after his father. You’d think they’d go for something more emotionally fraught and majestic but no. We’re playing this for laughs, guys. 

In a romantic context, this scene is also deeply frustrating. Because just like in every other J0nereys scene, the Ds have taken a trusted trope (a couple bonding over one of them teaching the other something) and completely wrecked it. 

D*ny does encourage Jon to ride the dragon. It’s actually one of their cuter moments, with Jon being awkward and unsure and D*ny being cocky:

Jon: I don’t know how to ride a dragon. 

D*ny: Nobody does. Until they ride a dragon.  

Jon: What if he doesn’t want me to? 

D*ny: Then I’ve enjoyed your company, Jon Snow. 

The banter is cute ... for about 10 seconds. Until Jon is hoisted into the air, it becomes clear D*ny has no intention of teaching him anything and Jon is flinging around, inches away from being thrown off the dragon and into the abyss of death. Then it becomes less cute. 

Jon eventually lands, somewhere, next to a waterfall that has magically appeared in what is Siberian tundra because ... reasons. 

Despite looking like he was in some kind of never ending nightmare through out the ride, Jon ends the exercise with: 

Jon: You’ve completely ruined horses for me. 

No worries, Jon. She’s also about to ruin your sex life and your will to live so there’s a lot to look forward to. 

In the behind the scenes footage, the Ds said that this is the place where Jon used to hunt as a child and he decides to show it to D*ny. You’d think this kind of romantic motivation would somehow find its way into the actual dialogue in the scene but no ...

Instead we get this generic line that is not really given any kind of context:  

D*ny: We could stay 1000 years. No one would find us. 

The interesting thing about this scene is that Jon has shared a similar moment with someone in the past that gave off the whole “1000 years” feel. Let’s have a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XQ1eTpPL6c

Unfortunately, I can’t embed the scene here but this is Jon/Ygritte atop the wall. There are no lines of dialogue in the whole scene. However, with Ygritte, Jon initiates contact and actually leads her to the other side of the Wall, to show her the expanse of the 7 kingdoms, something Ygritte has never seen. All of it is filmed just as the sun sets around the two kissing, with music swelling in the background. It’s all very clearly romance coded. 

So how does Jon respond to D*ny echoing the same kind of feeling: 

Jon: We’d be pretty old. 

That Jon Snow, huh? He really has a way with the ladies. 

They do kiss in this scene so that’s something but it’s at D*ny’s invitation: 

Jon: It’s cold up here for a Southern girl. 

D*ny: So keep your queen warm. 

They’ve shared 2 one on one scenes in this episode and D*ny felt the need to remind him she’s the queen in both of them. I guess titles aren’t important when it comes to Jon. When it’s D*ny’s titles, they are very, very important. 

You know what they say: All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. 

And because this scene wasn’t odd or awkward enough already, it ends with this: 

Many people have speculated on what Jon’s thought process is during this stare down. Most have come to the conclusion that Jon is thinking about how to get D*ny’s “kids” to like him. 

Except that any romantic kiss where one partner opens their eyes mid-kiss, is a a huge red flag that the person in question isn’t actually into it. So I’m thinking he’s inwardly screaming: The moron just handed me a dragon on a silver platter! Let’s get this dance started!

*thanks for reading, guys! We will reconvene tomorrow for the Jonsa edition of this episode

*none of the artwork in the meta is mine; thank you to all the content creators! 

[283livesforone]

6x04 OH HELL NAH!

I have never been so mad for such a long period of an episode of anything ever.

Ever.

*also this is the first time I’m writing this as I watch it so watch me be 1773917391 times more intense than normal*

1. It starts off soft. Here I am all happy and shocked that none of my stans are being tourchered...

2. Diyoza talking to her daughter is the cutest thing we love a dedicated bad ass mother

3. Okay so this is getting low key flame-cult-ish again....

4. Delilah and Jordan are absolute cute softies look who’s taking after his parents footsteps in being the softest ship alive!!

4b. My boy moves fast though... damn...

5. Hey moderately cute doctor guy... stop flirting with my gal Clarke!

5b. Oof I think he’s actually being an interlectual human and trying to help??

6. Okay they’re DEFINITELY spitting an A.I in someone.

7. Lol why are spacekru so awkward, watch Clarke and Jordan happily skip off to make new friends while them three awkwardly stand and try not to look defensive

8. Raven. I hate you.

8b. No like seriously.

8c. You used to compete with Clarke for my favorite character and you were very much one of my all time favorite females but now-

8d. Leave.

9. High key wanted Clarke to remind Raven about how they also left her behind to die and it was just god damn lucky she had night blood and there was such a slim chance of that even working but she still sacrificed herself because that’s what the real hero of this story does.

10. You have no idea how badly I want Madi to go to school. That hurt.

11. Echo calling Murphy out on being an alcoholic mess. An icon.

12. The last few episodes echos been growing on me more an more. I’m happy with this.

12b. I never said be cho was though!

13. That whole opening ceremony thing on the balcony was high key disturbing... they are definitely doing some weird A.I shit

14. That one guy who low key seemed to be helping Octavia kinda reminds me of Lincoln. I don’t know how I feel about that. This better not be another love interest I’m sorry but she has such an important plot line as it is Jason’s really going overboard with the new ships at the moment and it’s too freaking much.

15. Octavia looks more like old O and I’m living for it.

16. Ouchy. Forgiveness bellarke content. This hurts. Woah. I miss you. *bellamy’s face when Clarke calls him family hehe*

17. Is it just me or was that the weirdest bellarke hug ever. The way the just pulled apart as if they wanted nothing more than to not be touching was really weird and kinda uncomfortable to watch. I do not approve. It seems forced. Nope. *jason trying to convince us bellarke isn’t real by making the hug short*

18. But I must say I’m really enjoying all these bellarke x sharing parenting tips scenes

19. So at this point I’m only 18 minutes in and my blood is already boiling. Can’t get much worse. Oh wait-

20. If this is another Raven love interest I am suing. I’m sorry Jason but. There. Is. A. Point! You can’t just keep throwing more and more ships at us till we like one! It doesn’t work that way!

21. Low key seeing some old Raven here. I like that. Maybe she can be redeemed after all. Maybe.

22. Ughhh I do not want another Clarke love interest! You cannot mention lexa every other episode, give her a child who is the most important person in her life, put her in the position of trying to fix countless old relationships and give her a new one entirely! It’s. Too. Much.

23. We see you Jordan. *fetus meets his first female he’s not related to* -five minutes later- *has lost his V, is in a physical and emotional relationship, thoroughly taking part in the whole pda thing*

24. Oof... becho fight.... trouble in paradise? What. A. Shame.

25. Octavia and Rose make me so happy. I see some real Octavia slipping through the cracks!! Hope is not lost!

26. DONT KILL THE SMALL HUMAN! Well great. The one good thing Octavia does and you take it away from her. You will be hearing from my lawyers Jason!

27. Diyoza and Octavia is a duo I am living for.

28. Woah Clarke!

29. She is definitely getting an A.I.

30. Don’t make my boy Jordan sad! Not allowed!

31. Ah... so doctor guy is the spy. Okay I get this now. Low key creepy that he has to have drawings of everyone it would be a much better use of his time to just write their names but you do you I guess

32. OKAY HELL NO! DONT YOU GOD DAMN DARE HURT MY GIRL! NO! NO! WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER!

33. Oh damn... she doesn’t even know who Jordan is anymore....

34. This is the becho I can deal with. Give me actual development like this and I’ll learn to live with it I guess

35. I do like echo a lot more now though.

36. I’m mad. I’m mad. I’m really mad.

37. Okay so while I’m not okay with the whole putting an A.I with Josephine I’m it inside Clarke and everything but we all know she’ll be okay in the end so here’s a big thing to make space kru actually realise Clarke needs their freaking help not just their complaining and hate. Let them get worried about her for once. Let someone have to save her for once. Let them see how hard she’s worked saving their asses for so long. Let. Them. Miss. Her.

38. *Josephine looks down towards Clarke’s cleavage* “I can work with this” I CANT DEAL THIS IS HILARIOUS I STAN.

Okay so all in all this is my favorite episode so far. For once a lot actually happened and I finally watched an episode on the day it cake out. I spent most of it superrrr mad but if Raven gets her head out of her ass, Bellamy and Octavia sort out their problems and Clarke gets some appreciation I’ll be fine

*watch none of that ever happen*

Feeling: stressed, impatient for next week, full of love for Clarke and Jordan, mad at Raven.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep 1: Can We Just...Ignore the Apocalypse? Let’s Just Ignore the Apocalypse.

Ah guys, we’re back, it’s a new season! Sort of! It’s a filler arc that probably won’t make a huge difference on anything in the plot but bro has promised is hella weird so lets dive into it.

Remember all the stuff we were talking about last season, and how I had to like basically carry around a notebook and take character notes like for the first time since my High School English class when we read Shakespeare? Remember how freakin complicated everything got?

Well the writers for this season decided to do a soft reset on all of that mess. Apparently they’ll get back to that crazy stuff we spent a whole season building up but with a new season they’d get a new audience of viewers, and maybe they didn’t want them to be confused. Because, lets be honest, nearly all of the latter half of S2 would be unwatchable if you did not know what was happening.

They also knew they had a problem, especially since they were waiting for the manga to catch up to the show at this point so they couldn’t accidentally step on the manga’s shoes and invent things that later negated the manga entirely. They had to edit. They had to stay as far away from the manga points as they could. And they did it in the most ridiculous way.

Y’all don’t even know this blog was *almost* a SeaQuest DSV blog. But it was pulled. So then it was almost a Kolchack the Nightstalker blog. But that got pulled. Yugioh was my third choice. Much like my dating life.

That’s right, we’re going to do a soft reset by adding a whole new set of characters! A whole new plotline to keep track of! To show us this tantalizing view of Kaiba island and then just.......detour.

It’s honestly, a welcoming thing for me, a reviewer, because I was getting hella lost and now it’s back to basics. Although, there are certain things they just...didn’t even address.

Cold as ice, Yugi. Cold as freakin ice, like way to appreciate your most interesting friend. Like maybe put that house fern where Bakura died or something. Anything.

What teenager finds out their other teenage friend freakin died last night and is like “well...that happens” and of all teenagers--especially Yugi Muto. Yugi is usually so freakin extra but he doesn’t really...seem to be freaking out. I’m so used to this kid having a melt down so often, that when he’s not having a melt down, I assume there’s something absolutely wrong with him.

Yugi kind of glazes over the more complicated parts of Season 2 in some flashbacks, and then the blimp starts shaking violently to get us right off course in both location and plot.

(read more under the cut)

We did not get a peek at anyone’s mirrors to see if the giant mystery purple bottles are still around. A shame.

Also, guess what time it is, just by looking at this image. Just guess in your head, knowing that all these people went to bed at like 3AM last night.

Yeah it’s canonically 5 AM. In grand Yugioh tradition, all these kids, mostly a bunch of really gross boys, who are still in clothes from the day before, who miiiight not have showered, are now going to continue their adventure, just piling on the gross as much as possible until this season ends. It’s like every little kid’s dream honestly.

Anyways, we’re gonna fly right into a plot dump that is maybe one of the most insane dumps this show has ever dumped--and y’all we’ve had some nuts dumps--but this one is especially weird because it actually makes sense within the continuity.

Just remember when you hear this that we are in Season 3. It is Season 3 and this has never once come up, not even once before. That one guy on the writing staff who really, really, REALLY stans Seto Kaiba apparently walked into work the day when they were making this episode and was he like “wow, everyone called in sick to work today and no one’s here but me and I can go home or I can finally just go NUTS.”

So this entire time, the Kaiba’s were basically the Patriots. OK.

I mean, it actually makes so much more sense as to why these children know how to ride a helicopter and why Seto randomly knows CQC. I never thought I would ever get a proper explanation for this but here it is. Kaiba was being honed to devote himself to the...war economy...but then he said “actually nah, because that’s too effed up even for Yugioh” and then to spite his father replaced every weapon with trading cards.

And then...accidentally weaponized trading cards in the process thus turning into his own Father. 

I guess that’s why people are legit dying in this tournament and Seto and Mokuba are like “Yeah? This is what happens?” since they were literally raised by some Hideo Kajima mini-boss. They probably have no idea what children’s games are supposed to be like, so when Yugi loses his nut and starts Shadow Realming they’re like “hm. Is this what kids are into? I’ll go along with it. See Dad? I am blending into kid culture real well. Really good at kid stuff.”

Like, it’s a good layer of irony that these two decided to bring peace and harmony to the whole earth by replacing weapons with games you’d play with children--but then they chose the one game that will absolutely end the Earth quicker than a weapon of mass destruction. Congrats. You did it.

This show, man, sometimes I’m not sure what it wants Seto Kaiba to be. Because, yeah, Seto just showed us a very nice thing he did as he randomly does--he’s basically won a Nobel Peace Prize by default--but he’s still a complete asshole. Like did he just feel like he has to show up Yugi again for saving the Earth last season by reminding us that Seto has already done that before this show ever started? That he dissolved the freakin Patriots before this show ever began?

Like Seto single-handedly fixed the entire plot of Metal Gear. Like this is the child that ended how many wars with getting rid of the ammunition? This is the child the writers chose? Seto freakin Kaiba?

And then he turned around and essentially put cards into a bunch of guns and you wear them on your wrist what the hell is even going on with this kid?

But don’t worry we won’t get even five seconds to register this plot dump, much like that time they told me that Seto freakin Kaiba has a dead soulmate from 5000 years ago who is now four separate playing cards and also probably his Great^nth Grandmother.

The Seto lore is rapidly getting more complicated than the Yugi lore and Yugi Muto is two people. Just saying.

Anyway, lets meet our new villain.

So the theme of this arc seems to also be a theme that the writers are currently wrestling with. You got Yugioh which has a very--INTERESTING background, it’s this horror manga turned effed up anime turned much more tame child’s anime and it’s like, that’s a lot of pressure for this team. Kinda feels like every time they try to do Yugioh there’s going to be people that are pissed off because it wasn’t like what came before it. And so this whole story of Kaiba trying to get out of his problematic Father’s shadow is almost like the entire writing team at this point just begging us to please let them do a thing without having to do 158 on-screen murders.

(JK, they’ll murder off more people in this very episode.)

And so this arc they decide to make this character who, as bro mentioned, is a throwback to Season Zero Kaiba, but with better hair. Sort of. Honestly, I mostly only see the white shirt as a reference but I can see what bro is getting at, especially since their hair shape and eyes are like...VERY Kaiba-ey. Anyway, I called it right away before we saw this kid that he’d be a distant relative here to claim his cut of the Kaiba inheritance pie so, because his hair is Mokuba blue-green, we’ll just make him a Season Zero green. Because it looks like no one else’s font color.

Honestly, hopefully that won’t get too confusing if he and Mokuba are speaking at the same time but I have changed Mokuba’s font color once already and now I might have to change it again...

They’re already kidnapped, right? Like all of these people on this blimp have absolutely been kidnapped by Marik and are at this moment at his mercy? (mercy meaning “he just doesn’t feel like it right now”)

So yes, Noah kidnapped them, but at the same time he’s just borrowing hostages from Marik for a little while. He’s just babysitting some other person’s kidnapees from how I see it.

Also, his name is Noah and he lives on a very big ship. That’s uh...a little on the nose there with the naming conventions, Yugioh. As far as villains go, at least this kid doesn’t live underground and get tortured with back tatts. But, with the way this show is going, I would not be surprised if all the Kaibas got Agent 47 serial codes on the back of their heads.

*I love a good Star Trek tractor beam, don’t get me wrong, but never in my life did I think I’d see a sci fi tractor beam being used on a freakin party blimp*

Marik, PS, is still standing here on top of this blimp saying “this will be very interesting to just let another villain waltz in here on my territory while I just chill on the couch for a little while. I am tired.” which was...actually pretty true to Marik. This kid will let anyone else do his job for him if given the opportunity. Such a lazy villain. In a show where all the villains have been pretty lazy.

Now, Noah insists that everyone get the hell off this blimp, but Seto was like “Really, honestly, I just want to keep one secret today. Just any secret. Lets just have this conversation in private and everyone else, please don’t mind my family issues. No need to call the cops, it’s just a light kidnapping, no big deal. Family, amiright?”

So because they’re getting shot at, they stubbornly get off the blimp.

And then Marik wrote himself right out of this arc. At least according to my bro.

So, in honor of blimp, lets give that blimp a good send off. One last time, for blimp

I will miss you, blimp.

So, down a hallway and in a room of so much bloom they run into...these guys?

I had to like really think for a while to remember who the hell these guys were, it feels like 10 years ago since that one-off MMO arc that I figured would never come back.

Apparently time doesn’t work the same, much like in Narnia, so the Big 5 are just straight up insane now. Got it. Really glad I get to try and keep track of the names of 5 new people, don’t hold me to it, I’ll absolutely forget the name of every one of these mini-bosses. Anyways, while they were strapped to Kaiba’s game for 2 months, they freakin died.

Yeah, what?

Wow Yugi killed 5 people and it’s not even Season Zero! Like this is a Yugi kill, right? Like Yugi did this entirely? Like that whole game would’ve been a lose if Kaiba wasn’t told exactly what to do by Yugi and Pharaoh? Nice.

And then they got...the digital version of Shadow Realmed.

Ah the digital space. We can go anywhere here. Any environment. Anywhere. lets see where they go.

Man this show and it’s obsession with island climates.

I say that, forgetting they’re all from Japan.

Apparently every season of Yugioh contractually has to have at least one reference to Tristan’s enigmatic ass. Thing is--assuming they’re all hooked up to sensors or whatever---is there just one that covers...farts? Like there’d have to be, right? Google, stop whatever weird self driving car glasses you’re making and get on that.

After Kaiba proves that you can’t actually touch anything in this universe, Tea immediately sees a great opportunity and just starts touching all the stuff that she can’t touch, too. So she goes over to the bushes and sees this looking back at her. From a bush.

This still doesn’t answer the question of why the hell there was a clone in the bush!

Anyway, apparently Kaiba has made hundreds of clones of himself so he could play cards since he had no friends growing up and that wasn’t even the weirdest Kaiba plot dump this episode. Kaiba and his Clone Wars just feels so tame now.

So they go over rules--it’s a lot of words all right. Whatever, we don’t go into duels here, but overall they have to choose a mascot whenever they play to act a King in chessboard. So if their mascot card dies, then they lose.

Honestly they could just kill everyone straight up but youknow, it’s Yugioh so we’re gonna throw some honor into this murder by making it card murder. It’s fine. Don’t think about it.

Ishizu just slept through everything, right? Like she looked outside, saw all this go down and was like “NOPE” and then went right back to bed? I mean...that is also sort of what she did for half of last season.

And no, Yugi never ever once mentioned that Bakura freakin died last night. Amazing.

[newstanmarshblog]

Carrying a Best Friend: Chapter 6

   At Red Robin, Stan & Kenny are having a wonderful time with Karen. Stan & Karen were getting to know each other a little more that it was getting up to the point they were starting a new friendship together, and that really gave Kenny a joyful smile on his face. Some of the things that Stan & Karen share in common includes their love for animals, dark superhero characters, swimming, their dream to visit Yellowstone National Park, and their strong hatred on the hit show, Dancing with the Stars. When lunch was severed to them, Stan had his impossible burger while Karen had fish & chips.

   *15 minutes later after their lunch was severed to them*

   Karen: *laughing* Wow, that was one of the best and biggest meals that I ever had in a long time. I probably won’t have dinner tonight after this.

   Kenny smiling: I’m glad you enjoy your meal.

   Stan: And my burger was just the way that I like it. It almost tastes like my mom’s cooking on veggie burgers.

   Karen: Your mom makes veggie burgers?

   Stan: Yep. Even though I still love regular burgers, but sometimes whenever I’m in a mood for a decent size meal that doesn’t require meat, I’ll ask my mom to round up some veggie burgers. You should give my mom’s veggie burger a try someday. They’re some of my most favorite things that she ever cooks, and they taste like actual burgers.

   Karen: I would love to give them a try someday. And speaking of your mom, how do you two think she’s gonna handle about your secret when you guys tell her later today?

   Stan: That’s something that I’m very nervous about. My mom may have experience a lot of crazy things in the past, but I don’t know how she’s gonna react to my unusual virgin pregnancy. I’m just hoping she doesn’t have a panic attack or something worse.

   Kenny: Well, Stan, you did said that your mom is a very trustful person. And knowing our moms very well that they love us so deeply that they’ll believe every word that we say to them, then I’m sure your mom will be very understandable.

   Stan: Thanks, dude.

   Karen: Give me a text or call sometime later after you two tell her everything.

   Stan: Do you have a cell phone with you?

   Karen: I only have a flip phone, but it still works pretty good.

   Stan: Okay, then.

   Stan & Karen exchange their cellphone numbers to each other.

   Stan: I’ll give you a call later tonight if everything goes good with my mom.

   Karen: I go to bed by around 10:00. So, if all is good between you and your mom, call me before then.

   Stan: Will do.

   After paying up for their lunch, they walk back to the McCormick’s house along with a to-go southern charm burger for Stuart. Later on following dropping Karen back to her home and saying goodbye to her, Stan & Kenny make their way back to the apartment building. And as they came in, Samson immediately gets excited to runs up to Stan. Stan gets onto his knees to greet his dog.

   Stan smiling: Hey, little buddy! Happy to see me very early than usual?

   Samson was wagging his tail, and gives Stan some kisses.

   Stan: *laughs* You’re such a good boy.

   Kenny was thinking into his mind of how adorable Stan was with his dog. It gives him a tiny ghostly blush.

   Kenny: What time does your mom come home from work again?

   Samson heard Kenny’s voice with an alert look on his face.

   Kenny: Ah, shit! Sorry, dude.

   Stan: It’s okay. It’s just the three of us until my mom comes home from work at least shortly after 5:00. And besides, I would like for Samson to get used of your presence here. Say hello to him.

   Kenny: Okay…um, hi Samson. Recognize my voice? It’s me, Kenny.

   The dog once again hears Kenny’s voice. Samson feels so confused onto why he’s hearing someone else’s voice right in front of him and yet doesn’t see that person anyway.

   Kenny: I’m sorry that you can’t see me, boy. But I’m currently a ghost that’s gonna be here for serval months, and you’re gonna have to get used to hearing me like this until I’m alive again.

   Samson begins to remember Kenny’s voice as they both often used to see each other every weekend whenever Stan takes him on a neighborhood walk. He gives Kenny a sweet bark.

   Stan smiling: He recognizes you, dude. Despite on not seeing you, he at least knows that you’re right here with us.

   Kenny: Great! Let’s see if he’ll come over to me in a further distance.

   He flies over to where the dinning table is at.

   Kenny: Come over here, Samson. Come here!

   Samson runs to where Kenny was at in a lightning speed.

   Kenny smiling: *laughing* Boy, you haven’t run up to me like that in a while.

   Stan: He sure does like you just as much as me and mom.

   Kenny: I may not be as much as a big animal lover as you and Karen, but I’ll admit, being around with Samson puts a big smile in my face. Kinda makes me wish that I have my own pet someday.

   Stan: Maybe we should talk about that with your family the next we meet up any of them.

   Kenny: Karen sometimes talks about on having a cat to keep our mice infestation under control, but we don’t have the budget to buy or adopt one at the moment.

   Stan: Well, once your family budget is settled enough, go on ahead to adopt one from the animal shelter. And besides, cats are often more affordable to own than dogs.

   Kenny: Huh, I didn’t know that. I’ll keep that in mind when we meet up with my dad again.

   Stan: And in the meantime until my mom comes back, you wanna keep on playing with Samson for the time being?

   Kenny: Sure! I definitely would love to see more of Samson’s playful energy that you keep telling me about.

   For a while, Stan & Kenny have their fun with Samson. While Stan plays a game of fetch with him, Kenny plays a game with him that’s similar to hide-and-seek, expect that Kenny makes a whispering noise and Samson has to find the exact location to where the whispering noise is coming from. After about over 30 minutes of playtime, Samson eventually gets tired out, and Stan & Kenny decided to watch some classic Terrence & Phillip episodes.

   *Later on at 5:05 pm*

   While Stan & Kenny where still at Stan’s room watching Terrence & Phillip, Sharon finally returns home from work as Samson runs up to her as he barks. Stan & Kenny can easily hear Samson’s barking from the bedroom.

   Stan: Sounds like she’s home. Are you ready, dude?

   Kenny: Ready when you are.

   Stan: *takes a deep breath* Let’s do this.

   They leave the bedroom, and then head towards to where Sharon was at.

   Stan: What’s up, mom?

   Sharon: Oh, hi sweetie. I thought you would be at home a little later than me. How was your day today?

   Stan: Well, after I pay my visit to the Mccormicks to see how they were doing, I decided to treat Karen for lunch at Red Robins.

   Sharon: Wow, really? What did you two had over there?

   Stan: I had an impossible burger while she had fish & chips. And while we were there, we got to know each other a little and found out that we had some things in common like our love for animals, and she also wants to go to Yellowstone someday just as badly as me.

   Sharon: Sounds like you two are getting along pretty good.

   Stan: Yeah, she’s a pretty fun and sweet person to be along with. I can see why Kenny loves being around with her all the time as he talks about her with me once a while. We even exchange numbers with so that way we can keep content with each once a while.

   Sharon: I’m pretty happy to hear that you two are friends now. That’ll surely make Kenny very proud.

   Stan: Oh, I’m very sure he’s feeling that way right now up above. And how was you day at work today?

   Sharon: A very surprising day. You would never believe who showed up today to have a nose job.

   Stan: Who?

   Sharon: Jay Cutler.

   Stan: Jay Cutler? You mean the former Bronco quarterback that sucked pretty hard during his NFL career?

   Sharon: That’s right. He was over here as a pit stop before his final push to Black Canyon as his vacation destination, and last night shortly after he made his rent at the motel, he was over at the bar to grab himself a beer where he had a fight with PC Principal.

   Stan: Woah! How did that happen?

   Sharon: PC Principal basically called out on Cutler for supporting Republicans that aren’t for social justice, and that was when Jay Cutler threw in the first punch. While Cutler only made some bruises on PC’s chest and jawbone, PC threw in a serious punch at Cutler’s noise that caused a bit of major damage.

   Stan: Damn. When did he showed up during your day at work?

   Sharon: He showed up unexpectedly just shortly after I clocked in. He asked me for any open appointments, and as I was setting up his nose job appointment, that was when I asked him about his broken nose and he told me everything that lead up to it.

   Stan: And what kind of nose job did Cutler ended up getting?

   Sharon: He wanted a nose job that looked like Tom Brady’s nose, but it ended it up looking more like Phillip Rivers’ nose.

   Stan: Ouch, that sucks for him. But anyway, I need to talk with you about something very important.

   Sharon: How important is it?

   Stan: Sit with me at the couch, and I’ll tell you everything.

   They both walk together to the couch, and took their seat.

   Stan: Mom, what I’m about to tell you is absolutely true, and you know very well that I would never, EVER, lie to you on any circumstances.

   Sharon: Stanley, whatever it is, you can tell me about it. I’ve always believe in every word that you say to me no matter what.

   Stan: *takes another deep breath* Some nights ago, a spirit came down to me from heaven, and asked me to take upon the biggest task that anyone has ever asked me to do. If I would’ve refused on his plea for help, he could’ve likely disappeared out of existence, and I really didn’t want that to happen since he’s someone that I care about so deeply. I accepted on helping him, but in order for that to get started, I have to carry that spirit’s fetus within me for 9 months. And now as of from this very moment, to the day that I’ll be giving birth to the spirit in order for him to become alive again, I’m currently pregnant with that spirit inside of me.

   Sharon is very stunned from what she had just heard. Her very own son, pregnant with a certain spirit from heaven. She had no idea on what to say next as she was speechless for a moment.

   Stan: Mom? Did you hear every word that I just said to you?

   Sharon: Yes, yes, I heard everything. *another moment of silence* Are you really sure that you’re not pulling my leg?

   Stan: This is no joke, mom. I cross my heart.

   Sharon: I mean, how in the freaking hell are you able to become pregnant?! You don’t even have the bodies parts required to do that kind of task! And who is this spirit person that you’re talking about?

   Stan: He is right here with us. My best friend.

   He nods to his ghostly best friend to speak.

   Kenny: Hello, Mrs. Marsh.

   Sharon gasped as she hears Kenny’s voice.

   Kenny: Sorry to scare you like that.

   Sharon: Is that really you, Kenny? As a ghost, or something else?

   Kenny: I’m a ghost that’s gonna stuck very close to Stan until he gives birth to me 9 months from now since my own mother isn’t alive to deliver me anymore.

   Sharon: How is all of this even possible?!

   Stan: I know all of this sounds very unreal to you, mom, but we’re about to explain everything. It’s gonna be a bit complicated though if you don’t mind that kind of stuff.

   Sharon: As long as I can completely understand on what’s going on, then I’m fine with that. Just first explain to me on how you became pregnant because that’s something I need to know more than anything.

   Stan: After I accepted to help Kenny, he placed his hand onto my belly, and all body parts that are needed for my pregnancy including a womb, a cervix, and the unborn fetus of him were placed inside of me spiritually.

   Kenny: This action can only be done by immortal beings like myself.

   Sharon: Wait a minute. You’re actually immortal? Like, you can’t die permanently?

   Kenny: That’s right, but we’ll explain more about that in a moment. Anyway, for any immortal beings whenever they’re not breathing in the world of the living, they can knocked up any male or female human beings that they pick only as long they know them very personally. If they ended up choosing a male to do that kind of responsibility, then those body parts are spiritually put into the male human host and will disappear in about 24 hours later after giving birth. And we’re also not allowed to fly away more than ten feet away from our human host. Out of everyone that I knew very personally that’s best suited to do this kind of task aside from my mom, it had to be Stan. My sister isn’t old enough, my dad heavily drinks, and I don’t think any of my other friends wouldn’t be willing to do it. Stan was the only most realistic choice that I had.

   Stan: Especially since Kenny is my BFF after all. It was a very hard choice for me to decide since making this decision also means I have to push back my football career aside for the time being, but I really didn’t want to lose him forever out of existence. I just couldn’t let that ever happen to my best friend that’s also like a brother to me. Losing him also would’ve meant losing a huge part of my happiness that’ll never come back ever again. If I would’ve let Kenny fade away, all of those memories that I shared with him ever since kindergarten, I would’ve never see them the same way again. And choosing to let your love one down that desperately needs you more than ever is like letting yourself down so deeply that you’ll never recover for making a dreadfully decision ever again. *begins to sob a bit* I’m really sorry, mom. Please understand on why I decided to do this. I just…didn’t want to lose another person that I truly love again so soon! *sobs way more*

   Sharon was silent for a moment while looking at her son with a sadness look on her face.

   Sharon: Stanley, you have nothing to feel sorry about after on what you just did for your best friend.

   She gives her son a huge hug.

   Stan: *still sobbing a bit* Huh?

   Sharon: I’m very proud of you, sweetheart. By choosing to help not only with Kenny in his most desperate of needs, but you’re also helping with your own heart and soul that is more important than anything else in your life. You have so much love within you even more than I can say that to myself. I’ve been so overjoyed on the type of person that you’ve been growling up as for over the years, and now, you’ve exceeded my expectations. You have the greatest human soul that I’ve ever known, and I couldn’t be more than grateful enough to fully know what you truly are…

   She gives Stan the most lovely kiss that she has ever given to him on his forehead.

   Sharon smiling: An angel.

   Kenny: She’s right. You’re just as much a compassionate person as me. Heck, I even learned some generous lessons from experiencing you helping others during our nearly lifelong relationship up to this point. As well along with my sister, you’ve been giving me some of the most happiest moments that I can ever ask for. You and I are not just the bestest of friends for the rest of time, but we’re also brothers very deep within our hearts too. And I truly love you for that very reason.

   Stan wiping his tears away as he also felted so touched by the wonderful things that were said to him by his mother & best friend.

   Stan smiling: Thank you both so much for not only giving me some of the most happiest moments in my life, but also on helping me to becoming the person that I am today. I love you all!

   Sharon: And we both love you too, Stanley. Our beloved angel.

   Sharon gives Stan one more sweet hug as Kenny also gives him a ghostly hug. And then shortly after Stan had to calmed himself down for a few moments, he & Kenny were ready to continue on talking with Sharon.

   Stan: Okay, mom. You also must be wondering about Kenny’s immortality and wanting to know more about it, right?

   Sharon: Yes, of course. If it’s just as important to know as your pregnancy, then I might as well learn all about that too.

   They explained to Sharon onto everything that they know about Kenny’s immortality curse so far. From how powerful it is, and that it came from Cthulhu somehow. Too on how often he gets killed all the time, and then gets rebirth by his mother shortly afterwards. And to how nobody can’t remember seeing him getting killed because of his curse’s ability to wipe out memories of any mortal witnessing Kenny’s random death experience.

   Sharon: My god. I’m terribly sorry to be hearing all the horrible things that you’ve been going through. I only hope that you’ll find the way to put into the end of your lifelong misery once and for all because after on what you told me everything about your curse, I wouldn’t even wish it upon to my own worst enemy.

    Kenny: Thank you, Mrs. Marsh. Me and Stan here are actually trying to find the hidden location of to where Cthulhu’s worshippers gather at since they’re the only people that should know on how my curse was given to me in the first place, and they’ll likely know on how they can get rid of it for good. And I hope you mind if I ask you this question, but do you know anyone that worships Cthulhu?

    Sharon: Sorry, but I don’t know anyone that worships Cthulhu. In fact, I’ve never even heard of him in my entire life until you two told me much about him. I apologize for not giving you guys any information. The only spiritual stuff that I know of mostly is pretty much anything from my christian faith.

   Kenny: It’s okay. The Cult of Cthulhu is not that well known to most people since they’re a very secretive group. We even don’t know how many people there are that worship him globally.

   Sharon: I see. So, they’re kinda almost like the Freemasons, but not as evil.

   Stan: Yeah, that’s a good way to say about them in a nutshell. Anyway, Kenny’s sister should provide us any future information about them from her gothic friend whenever she gets them. And once we can finally track to their secret location, we plan on going over there in hoping to get rid of Kenny’s curse once and for all before I’ll be giving birth to him.

   Sharon: Hold on a sec, Kenny’s sister knows about everything that’s going on with you two? Who else knows aside from her?

   Kenny: It’s just my sister and dad so far as we actually told them early today.

   Stan: And now we’re telling you everything about our secret as you’re the very first people that I wanted to tell. 

   Sharon: And who else do you two plan on telling to about this secret?

   Kenny: My brother is gonna be told about it eventually whenever he comes to visit here.

   Stan: I also would like to Shelly and uncle Jimbo to know about it too, but please don’t tell them through phone as I would prefer if you tell them about it privately in person. And we also plan on telling our secret to only four of our friends.

   Sharon: And which of those friends might be?

   Kenny: Kyle, Butters, Wendy, and Jimmy.

   Sharon: Ah, they’re all really good friends to trust. Out of every friend that you two have made throwout the years, I definitely like those four the most as they’re all in general good people too. But what about Cartman? You two often hangout with him a lot.

   Stan: He can be a decent friend at times, but he’s more often full of himself than anything else, and he is very impossible person to trust when it comes to private secrets because he’ll tell everyone about it in order to make himself laugh hysterically. We don’t feel comfortable at all to trust Cartman in this kind of secret.

   Sharon: Yeah, I know that feels during my college years.

   Stan: And speaking of college, I need to talk with you about rescheduling my college plans. While I’ll just focus on my Zoology studies for the time being until my pregnancy is over, I still really want to see if I can at least be qualify enough on becoming one of the quarterbacks on their football team for next year. And there might be that time when my belly is really starting to show, I’ll have to temporary leave college until my life is completely back to normal.

   Sharon: We’ll talk about that pretty soon, Stanley, I promise. But right now,  I can see that it’s almost 6 o’clock which means I gotta get going on making our dinner.

   Kenny: Wow, it’s almost 6 o’clock already? Time really does fly by pretty fast once a while.

   Stan: What are you making for dinner, mom?

   Sharon: Well, for the sake on your pregnancy, you’re in luck. I’m making salmon along with a side of broccoli. And for dessert, I got you a yoghurt cake that is strawberry themed.

   Stan smiling: All right!

   Sharon: I’ll call you two when everything is ready.

   Stan: Okay, mom. In the meantime, I’ll just give Karen a quick phone call since I promised her that I would call her later today.

   Sharon: Alrighty, then. See you two in a bit.

   About thirty minutes later after Stan & Kenny had their long conversation with Sharon and then making a quick phone call to Karen to let her know that everything went pretty well, they rejoined with Sharon on having a nice dinner together. Stan really loves his mother’s cooking so much that he even at one point said to her that her cooking skills out shines Randy’s any day. Following from finishing up their dinner and then giving Samson his dinner bowl, it was time for dessert.

   Stan excited: Aw man, I’ve been looking forward to this the most!

   Sharon: I know how much you love your strawberries, sweetie. Enjoy!

   Stan takes a bite from his slice strawberry yoghurt cake, and he freaking loves it.

   Kenny: How is it?

   Stan smiling: Dude, once you’re alive again, you need to try this! This right here, is the best dessert of my life!

   Sharon: I’m glad to hear that you’re enjoying your dessert, honey, but also try not to eat it so quickly. You need to eat your meals nice and normal during your pregnancy, just like how you were eating with your dinner plate.

   Stan: Okay, I’ll keep that in mind. Oh, and since you mentioned my pregnancy, there’s something else that I’ve been needing to talk with you about.

   Sharon: Let me guess, you want to know much from my own pregnancy experience so that way it’ll help you get through your first and likely only pregnancy experience at least a bit easier?

   Stan: That’s right! How did you figured it out?

   Sharon smiling: Mother knows best, sweetheart. As a person that went through two pregnancies, you’re gonna need to learn as much from me as possible so that way Kenny will be healthy enough by the time he is born.

   Kenny: Can you give us a few advices for the night, please?

   Sharon: Sure!

   Stan firstly told his mother that he already found some information from the internet on how to eat and drink healthy for the next nine months. While Sharon was pretty pleased from hearing that, she still gave him on extra tips for his new food diet. One of them being is to stay away from many common snack foods like sugary cookies, candy, and Doritos. And for breakfast, Stan will have to say goodbye to Froot Loops and Frosted Flakes for a while and stick with Multigrain Cheerios and Kellogg’s Red Berries cereal. As for other important advices, Sharon recommends for Stan & Kenny to reduce as much stress as they can because too much stress can lead to Kenny becoming born prematurely that’ll result in having medical problems. Another advice that she gave to them is that they’ll need more than just on having 7 hours per sleep and should instead get as much as somewhere between 8-9 hours per sleep every night, or even sometime take a daily nap whenever they don’t get much needed sleep. And lastly, there was Stan’s main exercise routine that he often does everyday: walking. While he can still take Samson on his regular 30 minute morning walk as usual even as his belly will grow big in the months to come, but once his belly starts to get larger and in during those months if he needs or wants to go somewhere, he’ll have to start driving around more often instead because over walking will not be good for his pregnancy. As for other exercise suggestions, Stan can do weight lifting for each of his arm in serval minutes as long as the dumbbells that he uses weighs about to at least 12 lbs. And on bad weather days, Stan can try on doing yoga lessons which was something that he really doesn’t do at all as he usually prefers the workout style that he receives from football practice, but for the sake of his pregnancy, it’ll have to do.

   It was almost 9 o’clock by the time they’ve end their second long conversation, and Sharon needed to catch her breath for a while from giving Stan & Kenny plenty of pregnancy tips for one night. Meanwhile, Stan & Kenny took Samson outside to let him do his potty work, and then returned back in ten minutes later.

   Stan: Samson did one huge pee out there, so hopefully that’ll keep him from begging to go outside at three in the morning.

   Sharon: That’s good. And boys, I have one more question that I’ll like to know about.

   Kenny: What is it?

   Sharon: When are you two gonna be telling about secret to your four friends?

   Stan: We don’t know yet. It really depends on their schedules whenever they got enough free time.

   Sharon: Well, keep me informed on that once you two have come up a date for it.

   Kenny: Hopefully it’ll be sooner than later when we tell them.

   Stan: Yeah, same. But right now, I just want to have some quiet time before I go to sleep.

   Sharon: Okay.

   Stan: Oh, and mom. Thank you so much for everything today. It really means the whole world to me.

   Stan walks over to his mother to give her one last sweet hug for the night. Sharon was very surprised to be hugged by her lovely son for once as she was usually the one that dose all the hugging, and that Stan doesn’t give hugs to people very often. Heartfelt by her son’s action, she gives him another kiss, but this time in the lips.

   Sharon smiling: And thank you for making me the most happiest mom in the world. Good night, my sweet angel.

   Stan smiling: You too.

   Stan walks to his bedroom.

   Kenny: Woah, dude. I’ve never seen you doing anything like that in ages.

   Stan: What do you mean?

   Kenny: Hugging your mom like that. The last time that I ever saw you giving someone such a hug like that was with Chef shortly before his death.

   Stan: Well, just like being with you, she makes me very human. Like back when I used to live at my dad’s farm before moving out, she would help me and Shelly to keep our good sense of humanity sprit alive despite of the hardships that we all had over there. Along with you, Kyle, and Wendy, my mom is one of very few people that helps to keep my life logical, hopeful, and happy around me. Without all of you, I might as well could’ve became a goth again.

   Kenny smiling: Thanks, Stan. You also make me very human just as much as Karen does. My life would be very senseless without you two.

   Stan smiles back to his BFF for a moment.

   For the rest of the hour, Stan & Kenny just chilled out while watching a documentary about Pets on Youtube, and then Stan gets himself ready for bed.

   Kenny: You know, dude. Just by watching that documentary really wants me to make an adoption on a cat for my family the more I think about it.

       Stan: You wanna do a visit to the animal shelter at some point?

   Kenny: Hmm, I don’t know about doing that during this pregnancy, but I’ll think it over later.

   Stan: Okay, then. Let me know when you made a decision about that.

   Kenny: Have a good night.

   Stan: You too.

   They both shut their eyes for a good night long sleep.

   In the next chapter, Stan & Kenny talks to Kyle, Butters, Wendy, and Jimmy about their secret.

[hoynovoy]

My 'Pretty Little Liars' Obsession Led Me To My Best Friend

“Got a secret, can you keep it?” Well, I’ve got one: Though Pretty Little Liars ended in 2017, the seven-season mystery thriller schemed its way into being an integral part of my life for the long haul, so much so that the opening credits live in my head rent-free. To this day, each time I hear the sinister theme song — “Secret” by The Pierces — I’m brought right back to my childhood comfort show (ahem, obsession). The visuals begin with a swipe of mascara, the smear of red lipstick, and a clasp of a heel onto a porcelain doll, which makes me feel like I’m watching someone get pampered for prom. Until, of course, it cuts to four girls standing in front of a casket. It's a chilling moment, one that, until Season 6B, ended with Aria Montgomery (Lucy Hale) delivering her iconic “shh.” I got cast under the show’s spell the first time I saw it, and I wasn’t the only one: Pretty Little Liars led me to my best friend.

Ironically, plotlines about deceit and betrayal actually helped ignite a long-lasting friendship. In 2011, the only other person I knew to be watching PLL was my now-BFF, Taylor, who’s been by my side for over a decade. We were only about 11 and 12 when it premiered, so shout out to our parents for letting us watch a show that dealt with very adult themes like substance use disorder, assault, and grief. Unlike our classmates, who watched tween-appropriate hits like iCarly and Victorious, we became PLL stans.

As fans know, the show is loosely based on the Sara Shepard YA series of the same name, and the first book was my entry point into the PLL universe. I loved reading about blackmailers and murderers navigating high school, but I thought I was the only one who was into it. (Was this my ~I’m different~ complex showing, or were my peers just naturally more inclined to recap Dance Moms? I’ll never know.) So, Taylor first struck up a conversation with me at school because she spotted the first PLL book on my desk — you know, the one painted with porcelain wax dolls warning to “never trust a pretty girl with an ugly secret” in a Gothic script. She asked if I’d watched the TV adaptation yet and we immediately exchanged phone numbers to text about upcoming episodes. We then fell into the fandom. Fast.

I’d never talked to Taylor before this interaction — we had only been in a few classes together — but I always saw her as approachable and friendly. Universally, the beginning of middle school is a big and terrifying year when kids from different elementary schools unite. Eager to meet new people, I reached for friendship at any chance I could get. Taylor made it easy. Aside from being a genuinely kind person (a rare trait for a middle schooler!), she was fangirling over the same thing as me.

Fast forward over a decade later, and the show still feels timeless, especially in its accurate depictions of how dramatic high school can get. It’s no surprise there’s a PLL HBO Max reboot on the way along with the remakes of other buzzy shows from that era (hello, 2010s nostalgia). Ah. It was a simpler time. Back then, Freeform was still ABC Family and for me, Tuesdays meant one thing: PLL is on. What first started as a solo viewing experience soon became a designated hangout time, a time slot reserved for me and Taylor to gush over how much we loved Ashley Benson. (We still do!)

The series had a vibe similar to Gossip Girl or Bridgerton in that a mysterious, unidentifiable pot-stirrer keeps fans guessing each episode, but it was arguably so much better since “A,” the anonymous villain, is out for, you know, murder. Ultimately, it was the type of whodunit that made me and Taylor (and millions of viewers) go down a couple of Reddit rabbit holes — remember the “Aria is A” suspicion? — and this is where my and Taylor’s experience with fan theories began.

Oh, and let’s not forget the location. PLL takes place in the fictional suburb of Rosewood, Pennsylvania, and for two girls from Bucks Country — aka the Philadelphia ‘burbs — we ate it up. The beloved “Welcome to the Dollhouse” episode was exceptionally creepy not only because the Liars get locked into a life-size replica of their bedrooms, but also because our real neighborhood looks extremely similar to their hometown. It operates like Rosewood, too, in that small-town gossip travels at lightning speed.

The Pennsylvania-based plotline also made it easier for us to identify with the characters, who felt like extensions of ourselves. In many ways, we got to know each other through their personalities. Taylor is studious and high-achieving, obviously a Spencer. And I owned feather earrings because I saw Lucy Hale sport them in Season 1, so obviously an Aria. Asking “Are you more of a Hanna or an Emily?” held as much weight in 2012 as asking someone their rising sign in 2021. While it might not say much, it also tells you everything you need to know about a person.

PLL got its start right before live-tweeting shows became popularized, so when we weren’t together, I used to text Taylor on my slide-out keyboard phone (only Zillennials will remember) to compare notes without stumbling upon many spoilers. They read something like this: “Caleb and Hanna are soul mates, TBH.” Like every other fan, we theorized about why A had to be Ian… and Melissa… and Jenna… and Mona… and, you get the point. When our elaborate speculations ran cold, we’d pause DVR’d episodes to gather more clues, like glimpses of Red Coat’s face in her second season introduction, or inspections of those eerie-gloved hands assembling dolls and sharpening knives at the end of each episode.

This game of Clue made room for conversations about all the things. We were in high school during the show’s peak, so it felt like the Liars had laid the groundwork for how to operate our school’s halls. Rosewood High was not traditional — uh, multiple students came back from the dead (*cough* Mona and Alison) — but it did prepare us for the stressors of college applications and first romantic relationships. In fact, Benson’s Hanna Marin would be proud of my matchmaking skills because back then, I introduced Taylor to the boyfriend she’s still with today.

As we both grew up with the show, our friendship got even deeper. The Liars weren’t the only ones to share secrets, and I found it incredibly easy to confide in Taylor. She’s trustworthy, level-headed, compassionate, and an excellent listener. She’s someone I know will always pick up on the second ring and is the type of friend to be there with advice, reassurance, and a quick-witted one-liner. She once joked about never needing a diary because we’ve transcribed the past 10 years of our lives via text.

Our bond has remained strong, especially because the most outrageous PLL-esque plotlines of our lives are ones we’ve experienced together. I love Taylor because I don’t have to provide background for my stories. I’m even so familiar with the cast of characters in her life that when someone re-enters after a long period, I like to say they Alison DiLaurentis’ed her.

And on the off-chance she’s not there to witness something meaningful happen to me IRL, she’s always ready to decipher what went down over texts or dinner and drinks — just like we did when we were teens trying to figure out who A was (minus the wine, of course).

The way she can reconstruct my way of thinking and offer up a perspective I hadn’t seen before is almost paranormal. Whether these are Taylor’s naturally given talents or traits learned from peeling back all the layers of the series, I’m not sure. But she’s always there to decode situations with me — whether they relate to a TV show or during moments when I feel lost.

I couldn’t be more thankful that Taylor entered my life and that PLL played a role in our friendship. I feel so incredibly lucky to know someone like her. Plus, now I have someone who is obligated to watch the reboot with me. Ali was right: Friends do share secrets. And she’s ~quite literally~ the reason Taylor’s got all of mine. Spencer and Aria, you’ve got some competition.

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