#i also just had a salad so
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Hi there Clari I just wanted to tell you please get well soon we love u and please go to the doctor if u haven’t!!! 💖💖💖 (´ ∀ ` *) (>﹏<)
Remember to always drink water, take your meds and stay healthy!
hi sweetpea!! <33 thank you so so much for this bb, i really appreciate it!!! 🥺🥺🥺 i am feeling like Literal Trash right now but i spoke to my doctor n she said the trace amounts of blood can be normal with bronchitis and to keep an eye on it. if it doesn’t get better in a few days or gets worse then obv i have to go to the hospital. i took some meds n they have temporarily broken my fever tho it’ll probably be back in a few hours >.<
i love u lots n lots bb thank you for the well wishes!!! <333 i’m trying so hard to stay hydrated but water tastes like poison right now grrr
#bf is making sure i’m drinking enough tho#and i am eating even if it’s just bananas and peanut butter and chocolate LMAO#i also just had a salad so#yEAH#whenever i get bronchitis it lasts for like three fucking weeks#so i’m rly not looking forward to this ._.#but i slept for most of today#really my chief concerns are just making sure that my body is getting enough food and enough rest#anyway ur the cutest!!!!!!!!#seriously this made me smile so much <333#i hope ur having a wonderful day anon bb#pls stay safe and stay healthy!!! sending u so much love!!#inky.bb#clari gets mail#tw blood
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TUVOKTOBER Day 2: Lunch Break [Interrupted]
#tuvoktober#bea art tag#1000% directly inspired by that post about how Tuvok should eat tupperwear salad like a teacher#It's so true!! He literally WAS a teacher !!!#he's listening to monks chanting - his favorite music bc he's a gd freak#It's SO his favorite that Neelix knows about it. I really wanna know how he knows.#Probably 'he just asked him' but funnier: They went on an away mission and he had monk chanting playing the whole time#Neelix: (internal) This is fucking hell on earth (positive spin) At least I know his favorite music!#Everyone whose been in an older relative's car as they blast choir music (the car is always SO hot) understands#it's torture but also it's kind of comforting??? it always makes me want to got to sleep#Tuvok seems like he eats salad without dressing (maybe a light drizzle of like lemon or vinegar on top) and looks down on people#who do otherwise <3 annooooying <3#Janeway: (early in their knowing each other) Can I join you~? I'm also having a salad!#<- did this specifically to try & bond with him#Tuvok: -gazes pointedly at how much dressing she put on it- I could hardly tell.
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so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.
#thinking about an INSANE divorce fic. as a follow-up to the 30k canon-compliant backstory i have not written#(really it could be an au of that because like. am i sentimental and would i want them to get emotionally divorced NO but i will get into#the variants of this later i have to tell you about them ACTUALLY divorced first before i get into the hot divorcee energy of it all)#where they fucked around when they were younger and then broke up because. yeah tenax can dream but scorpus needs certainty he is what he#is he wants attention and dignity and when blue offers for him he goes and we don’t need to know what the massive fight was but we DO need#to know that they stopped fucking and maybe they stopped talking too but now they’re Colleagues. putting the ‘because i can’ moment#into a WHOLE different light bc it’s very much a ‘you no longer have a say in who I get to fuck because it’s not YOU. because we’re not’#and thus we get an exes-to-lovers arc I still know you the best and yes I SEE the scorpus xenon andria potential & once again I am saying:#put that in a box we can’t talk about that right now I see it but that’s not what we’re here for. anyway I was TRYING to say the ‘I know u#best of anyone’ of it all and if you think I have stopped thinking about tenax goading scorpus & talking about his dick for a single second#I have not. I REALLY have not because that is top tier blatant manipulation to be like ohhhh poor baby you’re so old and rotting I can just#get a new chariot driver I don’t even really want you anyway 😇 and scorpus KNOWS It’s bait however. he’s gotta get his attention back.#anyway they are ugly divorced and it’s very slow burn but I know exactly how you taste & what buttons to press & how to grip your shoulders#in an argument until they fuck nasty on all of their riches or however this thing ends. not well for anyone but I WILL be getting them back#together. the other fun little big divorced energy thoughts i had were very much ‘divorced and arguing but it’s foreplay to threaten to#leave each other’ so they can have hot aggressive mean sex because they get off on arguing with each other. everybody in the stables starts#to see them arguing about chariot design & the brothers are scared they’re gonna kill each other & then suddenly scorpus is tongue-fucking#Tenax’s throat with a fist still in his hair and tenax has a hand pinning him back against the post by the throat and that’s all they see#before everybody clears the FUCK out. this is a regular occurrence at all times in all arguments it’s so fun I love the dynamic#OHHHH AND IT’S AN OUTSIDER POV FIC i said the brothers really i meant elia but also now that i say that. could be a fun five + 1 of#everyone watching them threaten to kill each other and then y’know. la petit mort. ALSO i know i see the calla/tenax too we can’t talk abt#that put it in the box with the chariot drivers we can have one (1) thing at a time. the calla note is because i want a calla pov of them#where she’s just like ‘freaks. right in front of my salad?’ and does not give a fuck at all. top tier. anyway. andria/elia/calla/domitian#(Domitian seeing them petition him would be so fun because he wants to puppet master everything he’d want to know SO BAD.) the 5th one idk#because I don’t have any idea about the third brother yet but maybe Tenax catching scorpus in a brothel again? and the +1 is their POV ofc.#(anyway for myself: the vibes i want here are geno/anna cat and mouse follow/unfollow divorce and win her back rumors)#scorpus/tenax#those about to die#scorpus#tenax
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@lumhere Your cyan was chosen by my wheel!
Day 1 of Shapes of May!
#I couldnt choose the background so I also give a transparent png#Had a silly time with his simple design#Wooooooo#digital art#artists on tumblr#jsab#shapes of may 2024#just shapes and beats#cyan#squiffer-salad
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being fictionkin can be so stupid sometimes. Yeah I don’t eat this food bc this fictional character that happens to be me went through horrors that had to do with this food but now I gotta make up an excuse to explain why I don’t eat it when people ask me about it.
#lemon man talks#That’s just so stupid I hate it#literally individually picked out the little bologna chunks they added to the potato salad in this dinner party thing I went to just now#Also every time someone asks me why I cross the street running. I AM FUCKING SCARED OF CARS OK THE CHARACTER#Panicked when I saw a spider the other day. I’m not scared of spiders but it was On Me and I looked at it and fucking panicked#I have never been afraid of spiders I hate this so much#Like ok I guess I’m gonna have this fight or flight reaction bc this thing happened to a character who is me. Whatever#I never know what to say when people ask why I don’t eat bologna#I had one (1) person guess once and it was so awkward#She’s my friend but she shits on alterhuman/otherkin people so i was scared shitless when she guessed#I am aware this bologna is normal I just can Not eat it and the thought makes me nauseous thank you
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Visited an out of town friend for the friendsgiving she hosted :) yayyyy; Not pictured: our pumpkin soup - sad
#one of her friends brought such a banger sweet potato salad!#thinking about him (the salad :()#i brought a focaccia because i'm a one trick pony (also whatever i brought had tl survive a 3 hour train ride rip)#we made garlic bread!!! it was soooo good!!!#tbh i miss doing more cooking but recently i've been running around so much that i just kinda made whatever i had time for#<- like this is great my social life is thriving actually#but. i'd like more time for cookingnrip#anyway: also met my ex's mum for coffee (might miss her more than them lol)#kitchen adventures#personal
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no cause why would u eat the food I prepped
#food#personal#i batch boiled eggs and had 2 left for today#i went to eat my eggs and notice theyre not in the fridge#hes actively boiling more eggs#likeeeeeee why not just boil more eggssssss#instead of eating mine#were also just running low on groceries so theyve been eating my safe foods which is fineeee ig but dont touch the shit i was planning#ig im waiting til he gets off work at 9 to eattttt#its finee i def can wait but i had a whole plan#no but watch him go out to eat instead of the store#maybe i can talk him into whataburger if so and omad a salad cause they hwve really good salad#idk
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tricked myself into braving the grocery store this morning by envisioning in great detail the amazing breakfast sandwich i could make if only i had everything bagels extra sharp cheddar cheese and breakfast sausage patties and then came home and made the breakfast sandwich. dreams can come true
#I HAVE CHEESE AGAIN! and other food as well but the cheese was the most important#i also stopped at a donut place on the way home and i have TWO donuts for later#AND i bought a frozen pizza for dinner. i am living large.#i have like no other groceries for the rest of the week lmfao. i have a salad kit for probably tomorrow or tuesday but that's about it#huge on breakfast foods though.#chatpost#it's so difficult to not have cheese when my fallback 'no groceries' meal is like. a grilled cheese.#cause i have bread! i have tortillas! even if nothing else i had those. but no cheese!!!?#so i'll probably have to go to the store again on thursday as usual just to buy like. some vegetables and fruits. only got bananas
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christmas eve ramble tags and some pictures of me and nice things from this year that i have randomly at 2:47am on christmas eve decided to post on tumblr. like why am I posting my face idek but I just felt reflective and i always just dump my rambles on whichever blog I'm using the most 🙈 i have not thought very hard about picking these. my motivation is that i want to force myself into acknowledging that for the majority of this year i felt good. I did good things for my health, and at work, and for my friends and family (even though I am desperate always to tell myself that i have never done anything good for anyone ever.) I found a new fun thing & lovely kind fun people to help me explore it. i got to sleep with my hand on/in Henry (cat not popstar) belly fur. yes i started having panic attacks about stuff to do w my dad, and money is tight (i mean i live in syd..) and i miss my mum and sara and i maybeee spent far too much time speaking to my ex fiance until he went on some rant about family law and I got the ick for once and for all lmao - but i was happy on many occasions.
#so we're doing Christmas tomorrow on Christmas Eve#well its 2.30am so we're doing Christmas today on Christmas Eve#ive been up late making Cypriot Grain Salad and freezing packs of scallops#no not a strange chrissie tradition just the fish place i ordered from listed them as $3.50 each so i ordered 12 just as a little two bite#mouthful each along w the oysters#and they sent 12 packs of 6#which do NOT cost 3.50 each#i actually feel a bit bad#anyway i froze most of them#we didn't do a tree this year#i think last year i did the tree and needed to needed the connection to mum#but this year when i mentioned it to Imi she sighed. and its no fun on your own#so i bought a lovely Christmas Bush and ive twisted those wire fairy lights around it and some little icicle tinsel#i need to sleep for a few hours and then get up and tidy the balcony and vacuum and clean the toilet and wrap presents#can you imagine if i had been able to have kids i am so last minute its awful#oh and a friwnd who had a horrid miscarriage#sorry they are all horrid#but shes pregnant and thats really great news#and my dad was nice to me today when we talked#also i took an extra week of leave off so now im having a month#which is so nice#im going to finish two fics#send cards and parcels to ao many people#i have replies from when my mum died ive still not done#im going to clean out the grarage#im going to swim everyday and try my harsest not to get burnt#okay maybe every second day#summer!#iveet stuff w my dad take away my happiness i had for the first half of the year - also mourning Sara#but i feel a bit more in control and im going to lean in to being proud of what i achieved this year and in finding new joy
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Have been in California for several days on my second vacation in 12 years! This is literally the only thing in my life that has turned out as planned since 2019! It is small in the grand scheme of things, but I stg this healed me!!!!!
#I wanted it! I planned it! it happened!!!#no tragedies no illnesses no disasters#went to see sara bareilles at the hollywood bowl last night#and was so relieved to have even made it#that I cried a lil into my salad#but also having many ??? moments#bc we are staying in and have been to#just incredibly nice clean gorgeous areas#and every single thing I’ve had to buy#has been less expensive that hell swamp texas?!?!#yesterday I saw an extremely nice cottage with a beach view#for the same rent as my apartment that looks at an actual train#and I have decided that it’s all a conspiracy#by our crusty state government to keep us there#idk how to explain this but it is awesome and also infuriating!!#tbd tbd tbd
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i dont think he's shadow's best va but i think david humphrey definitely suits his character best (at least my version of how canon shadow should act). he has the ability to sound menacing but isn't overly aggressive; he can be gentle when needs be.
i particularly like his more monotone performance adds to it because it isnt so far as to sound unenthusiastic (as an actor) but it gives off the feeling that he's uninterested to those who don't know him, portraying the misunderstood side well. at the same time this adds to shadow being easy to view as autistic, which is obviously going to please me, an autistic person, and help me relate.
im glad he's not the exclusive VA for shadow, because i dont think he would have thrived in his more "edgy" mischaracterisations later (NOT counting shth because even if it is ridiculously edgy at times THE WHOLE! POINT! OF THAT GAME! IS THAT THE PLAYER! DECIDES! SHADOW'S! MOTIVES!). even when shadow is portrayed in a more nuanced light, eg 06, prime, it isn't quite the same way as he was in sa2 and heroes. neither have a major focus on maria or anything to do with the ark in shadow's story, and while heroes doesn't either, i think with the general tone of the game (and also with it being aimed at a younger demographic) shadow does get to express himself way differently through the level dialogue, a more informal way of communicating character, than in cutscene dialogue.
to be fair i have never played 06 so i dont know the level dialogue in that!!! but also out of the 3 iterations i just listed that one has the oldest target audience (heroes is PEGI 3, prime would probably be PEGI 7 and 06 is PEGI 12). and obviously theres no level dialogue in prime lol.
anyway hope you enjoyed my yapping about david humphrey shadow 👉👈
#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#btw most of my knowledge of humphrey as shadow is based on sonic heroes where. well. most of the time you are on his side#rather than sa2 where he's set up as a villain#anyway all of this makes sense in my head but please tell me if its word salad#im not trying to sound smart or anything but i felt kinda pretentious writing this#OH CRAP I JUST REALISED I HAVE AN ENGLISH LIT ESSAY DUE TOMORROW RAAAAAA#its 3 paragraphs and i *have* written 3 paragraphs but i was really not having it when i was writing so there are like no quotes and#the intro is actual 🤘bogus🤘. sigh.#im too tired to get my copy of kite runner tho...#but also im pretty sure this one is graded...#ughhhhhh whatever if i get 1 C at the start of sixth form i doubt im not gonna be able to get an A or A*#plus i only need a B#(technically i only need a C but my predicted grades are Bs so school might get at me if i dont get them)#also if this sounds really crazy and like im setting high expectations for myself. unfortunately ive always had high grades#but i dont feel very smart either way (probably because most of my friends are the type that dont try and do better than me).#plus i go to a super prestigious college that expects nothing but the best (its literally a feeder school for ox-bridge)#sigh. one english essay isnt going to change much
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Nevermore by sasakure...... Such a Luka song but like. Also. Ivan- but I see it as like. How similar they are
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#alnst luka#luka alnst#alien stage luka#luka alien stage#and honestly these lyrics also fit on how I view Luka with the sin of Gluttony.. yk??#his appearance; how skinny he is. basically how Banica Conchita looks when being a sinner- how he acted in r7?#Banicas song “Evil Food Eater Conchita” has this. upbeat-ish??? vibe? it definitely follows the “i cant waste a bite” and just#continuously going insane. eating whatever she can eat. eating “evil food”. eating things impossible to eat. eating. eat. eat. eat. eat-#continuously. and that... well. “ “theres still something to eat” Conchitas last evil food. the ingredients were; yes; her very self#now there's no longer anyone who knows the flavor of the body that had thoroughly mastered foods.“ because- well#in canon. inthink its very rare to like. win twice ina row. and when it all ends? ah. he will fully be “eaten”.#god. listening to EFEC again and god man...#“The pale blue shining hair Is just right as an hors d'oeuvre for the salad ♥.” / “hey; little servant over there. what do you taste like;#i wonder?“ . god... just thinking of how this is. and how it connects to. Luka's whole deal (we can interpret that he /did/ kill#hyun-woo in some type of accident since thats the most plausible inna way. but since then; and then r5?#but not just r5. the first time he won a round. the “”first“” time he saw blood when he was older. its... very fitting#with the lyrics. of the hyun-woo thing being “the pale blue shining hair” and then the rest that follows being the “little servant” part#hes such. luka is just a good metaphor for gluttony... to me.... hes Gluttony...)#luka... luka with gluttony. luka as a fog. luka as a tornado. luka as pearls. luka as- valuable but#“”destructive“” but natural things in life. and how funny it is that all of them are connected by- how they are just-#technically.. hollow. Gluttony is hollow because you are never ever filled. fog is hollow because its clouds#tornados! yes. things get wrapped inside of one... “eventually the mansion had been completely emptied#there was no one inside. with nothing there for her to feed. even so; she still desired and wanted to pursue the most extreme#of disgusting; revolting evil foods.“ pearls. they are beautiful and wholy themselves but.. they are mainly known as#being accessories. to lure you in. connecting back to how the other things I connected him with. Gluttony; shown by#Banica. shes a very attractive woman ... fogs are mysterious.. tornados are dangerous and will drag you down#weather you want them to or not. its a force of habit. force of nature. its only natural
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i became a vegetarian at the start of the summer of this year not out of any particular guilt-driven or ethics reasons but because i felt like my relationship to food had become very stagnant and borderline disassociative, where i never thought about what i would eat and would rely on the same few easy things all the time, and i needed something to give me both structure and a forced reason to actually acknowledge the food that i ate.
and it has really worked. i'm trying a lot of new things all year, and finding new favorite foods (poblano peppers! heirloom tomatoes!), and as a home cook i have been seeking out and preparing new recipes like never before which has been very fulfilling for not just my diet but my creativity and my hobbyism. this lifestyle change has succeeded exactly how i hoped it would by forcing me to create a brand new relationship to food!
and although it wasn't my intention i do in fact feel less ambient environmental and ethical guilt about my part as a consumer in industrialized meat production (and obviously individual choice has significant material limits which i don't hold against anyone, but still).
and i just think this has been really cool and if you feel like you're in a similar spot with your relationship to food then maybe consider it, even as a short-term experiment
#a rule i keep is that if i am for example invited somewhere and somebody has already made a meat dish that they are sharing#then i won't feel obliged to refuse it because like. it's already made! and in most cases it's either it gets eaten or thrown away#waste not want not and all that#but also going vegetarian has made going out to eat so much more interesting because i have to look into veg options beforehand obviously#but i actually love how at non-veg-specific places it really cuts down on choice paralysis. like oh thank god i just choose 1 of 5 things#had a bosco salad at an italian place the other night and BUDDYYYYYYYYY holy shit it was so good#louposting#food#vegetarianism
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New Employee aquired today
My manager: Hey Grace maybe you can show NE some things, but don't overwhelm her
Me:
Me: so like. make sure it's not a repeat of my first day???
#like maam ive worked here for barely a month you know this#and my first ever shift was 8 hours and CLOSING#i did a lil bit of everything my first day why do you think im so adaptable to what you need now???#anyways i had NE help shred chicken cause we needed more and then i couldnt even use it bc we were out of the salad kit 🙃#today twas a long day#i was supposed to do subs but literally worked on salads all day cause we were so short staffed#a coworker who YESTERDAY asked for a shift today never showed up. our manager had to open and was barely through salads when i got there#(3 hours after open)#me and manager tackled customer service and did as many tasks as we could (specifically distress and make salads)#(i learned how to do temps)#morning cook stayed late WITHOUT TAKING A BREAK to bring back some stuff we needed#closing cook got sick and left when me and NE did leaving i assume 2 store managers (maybe just 1) and one coworker to close#we so short staffed they had a job fair JUST FOR OUR DEPARTMENT.#anywho#ive also been up technically since 1-2am. i got extra 1 hour between then and 5:30am before i had to get up. i went to bed at 9pm#so. ive been tired all day but since i dont have work tomorrow im gonna stay up late and chill#amber's shit you can ignore
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I tried dieting yesterday but it was fucking awful I'd rather be happy than skinny
#i probably also went about it the wrong way. bc my goal was to not eat anything but dinner#which is stupid especially bc we have dinner between 9-10pm#i ended up caving and having a cheesy bacon roll and salad before dinner#but that was still just. not much food at all i was so hungry#and i don't want to start sobbing at work again and i feel much happier when I've eaten so#idk if i want to diet i could go about it in healthier ways but can i be bothered to do it at all?#not really. i choose happiness i like food#but there's also not really a need to lose weight bc I'm not that fat (and even if i was so what)#i had a look at myself in the mirror for the first time in months and like yeah im fine just incredibly dysphoric#so yeah. i choose food#i chose food when i finally did have dinner and was like my god this is much better than not eating#ofc. anyway knowing my fuckass metabolism i wouldn't even lose weight anyway#and if im going on T soon that will change all that so there's no point doing anything now#and when i go on T ill be hungry asf so i don't want to eat less then
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imo wednesday is the worst day of the entire week bc it’s the weekday that i work backshift and my partner works his normal morning job so he only gets home at like 3:30 and i have to leave for work around 4:30 so we just dont see each other. makes me wanna kill people with rocks and sticks
#also sidenote but yesterday on morning shift i got given a roll cage literally overflowing with stock to put out#and my manager told me afterwards they need that done in 25 minutes#25 minutes. are you alright#it wasnt even all stuff for the same area. it was supposed to be just meal deal and it was like 50% fish and pies but EVERYTHING had fallen#over so most of my time was spent trying not to drop pasta salad all over the floor at 6:22am
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