#i also have many many thoughts about how marcos is involved and complicit spoiler hes the one who put all those medical supplies
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Soooooo I wrote this incredibly self-indulgent thing about Miles. I have many feelings about how he keeps himself so tightly in control. It's gotta go somewhere.
Disclaimer it's quite dark, so mind the trigger warning and keep yourself safe <3
TW: self-harm, not what I would consider graphic descriptions, but it is the central theme and way more than a mention
The lock clicks. He slips his suit jacket off. Loosens then removes his tie. Untucked, buttons undone. It’s all laid out on the bed. Step by step. Shoes set to the side and trousers swapped for silken pajama pants.
The bathroom door closes behind him. The second lock between him and the world. The shower comes on. Towel laid out on the counter.
His drawer, second down on the left. He pulls out the small black bag. Gold zipper. Supple leather. Inside, his collection. Three packs of new razor blades. An open pack of blades; used ones tucked into the back. A single hypodermic needle. A crafting knife. Two unopened band aids.
The rest of the drawer’s contents is ignored, antiseptic and suture kits, butterfly closures and rolls of gauze, in favor of practiced hands sliding the tin of blades from the bag and the blade from the tin.
He sits on the toilet, lid down. Elbow straight. Fist clenched. The first slice with a small inhale. Bright and sharp and stinging. Familiar and comforting. Line after line as red blooms from the wounds. The ecstasy second only to the Kiss. Rivulets follow gravity down. Strategically placed tissues catch the mess.
Stained crimson, they fall into the waste basket. He flexes his wrist, testing the pull of the broken skin, blots the last of the blood away. Blade inspected and stowed; everything returned to it’s place. Pajamas folded on top of the toilet, he steps into the shower.
#path of night podcast#my fic#*clenches fist* i WILL get better about sharing my writing#but yes many many thoughts about how he regulates himself emotionally and the toll that keeping himself in check takes#i dont have actual like coherent thoughts otherwise i would have written more lmao#but i always gotta have some character to slap the self-harm headcanon onto and unfortunately for miles he is The Chosen One this go around#i would imagine hes very methodical and ritualistic about it and finds it very centering and grounding and cathartic but also#tips right into that edge where he NEEDS it and its becoming a coping mechanism he doesn't really have a replacement for when push comes to#shove and how does he cope when this thing that supposedly gives him control leads him to being more out of control v juicy thoughts for me#if i actually bothered to write anything substantial i would probably post it to ao3 but for 250 words im not sure its worth it lmao#i feel like my tenses are all over the place too but im just going to live with it!!!!!!!!!#i also have many many thoughts about how marcos is involved and complicit spoiler hes the one who put all those medical supplies#in the bathroom just in case miles ever needed them#and the blood bond only complicates things
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