#i also get the distinct feeling that a lot of the flamboyancy with his gear is specifically meant to catch him heat - which is working

[mrfunnyinthebank]

I actually like Seth's outfits but also I can totally see how they don't work for you. He's also kinda wasteful with 'em. He said in an interview that he basically just sends most of his, as you said, "jerkoff regalia" off to the archives almost immediately after he wears them.

i see a lot of people enjoy his outfits a lot, and i certainly never want to rain on someone else's parade. especially about something like fashion and wrestling preferences which comes down to individual perspective and tastes

there have been plenty of pieces and even full outfits of his that i do think look good and are interesting. it honestly comes down more to the way he wears his clothes that i personally don't like

i didn't know that about him sending them to the archive, that is interesting

some of my thoughts on seth rollins' fashion under the cut

there are 2 levels to my distaste for seth's use of fashion: the most obvious one is that it usually doesn't align with my personal preferences. but the reason it really chaps my ass so much - and the reason that i do post my hater thoughts while there are plenty of others that i keep to myself - is because something feels ungenuine about it all

wearing an outfit once and essentially sending it to a museum immediately seems very odd to me, and honestly reinforces the vibe i get that seth is wearing a costume rather than dressing like seth rollins

i didn't notice this until i saw it on youtube, but it was pointed out that his look from monday was very much him dressing up like 2 different popular wrestlers - brimmed hat and leather jacket like the undertaker and black turtleneck sweater with a silver chain like that one picture of the rock

and it looks like these clothes cost a lot of money and take a lot of time and effort, but i don't get the feeling that he cares about the outfits he wears in the same way that many of his peers do, and likely not as much as the people who make the outfits do

i don't know how the archive works, but knowing what i know about this company and the industry i would assume that these outfits are truly getting hung up and put away where people will not wear them and will likely rarely see them. i am a huge believer in preservation, and i am happy to know that these article of clothing are going to have a good chance of surviving for future generations to enjoy and learn about what fashion and culture and wrestling was like in 2020s america. i am truly surprised to hear that he sends most of them directly there rather than reusing them for himself or giving them a new purpose elsewhere. i hope that this isn't a common practice

[yndigot]

As for Thomas having never been in a space for gay ppl before, I suppose I can maybe reason around it if we consider that he’s from a small town; then he goes to live in a small village w a job where he’s hardly ever free(and any travelling he does do is also on the job); and he’s working class (and iirc most of those bars etc were geared more towards upper class gay ppl) and you could maybe only find these places if you knew what you were looking for. (Also him never having been to a gay bar in his life and possibly not even knowing they existed might also explain why he was so gosh darn bitter all the time lmao; literally no fun time for him at all)

I dig that people want to talk about this! 

I don’t think Thomas grew up in a small town! Mostly because while RJC changes the way Thomas speaks in different contexts, he does NOT change his own (real life) distinctive Manc accent, so I can’t really headcanon Thomas growing up anywhere but Manchester or very Manchester adjacent. That’s not a small town with no access to city life. (We can talk about why Phyllis doesn’t necessarily sound like she grew up down the street from him. That’s another post. I don’t think Thomas would have gone out of his way to acquire such a distinctive Manc accent, though, so it’s more believable to me that Phyllis has done some work to lose her accent, not that Thomas is faking his.)

If you decide to discount the Manchester of it all, then sure, he can be a small town lad who went to live and work at country houses and has spent most of his life in rural, isolated areas. But I still see problems with that.

I’ll actually believe that he never went to gay bar in Manchester because he’s a first footman in Yorkshire by (probably) his early-ish 20s, which means he probably went into service, possibly some distance from Manchester, at some point in his teens. Since he didn’t arrive at Downton until c. 1910, it’s possible he worked at another house as a hall boy before then. Relatively young. Especially if he was working at another country house, he probably wasn’t going to gay bars on his half day. I’ll also believe that he didn’t know there were gay bars in York because it’s a MUCH smaller city than Manchester, which I think probably makes the gay scene smaller and harder to find, and tbh, if he knew it was there, you’re right -- he wouldn’t have been so miserable. So. He didn’t know about queer spaces where he grew up, and he doesn’t know about them where he lives now. I’m with you so far.

But at least before the war,* he didn’t spend the full year at a country house in rural Yorkshire. He went up to London for the season with the Crawleys. Including one season where he was sneaking around with the Duke. He had all of gay London at his fingertips and never realised it was there? At all? Not even the Duke clued him in? The Duke definitely had access to the higher class places you mentioned. He didn’t even tell Thomas such places existed? Never took him there as a sort of pet? Also, Thomas has clearly been to disreputable clubs before since he knows exactly what sort of scam Dekner is running with Andy. He’s comfortable getting around London and socialising in his (admittedly limited) free time while working for the family. He never found his way to queer spaces?

Grantham House is in St. James’s Square, which is in the West End and VERY close to major queer hubs. He never saw anyone and clocked them? And maybe followed to see where they were going? He never went cruising? No one he hooked up with ever clued in him to places where queer men socialised? I mean, I know I’ve commented in other places about how Thomas is not always good at picking up signals, but I feel like he couldn’t possibly miss ALL of that. (tbh I feel like this is discounting the number of queer men in service generally before the war as well -- when they’re all in the city for the season, he never talks to these other men and none of them clue him in?)

And we’ve got this passage in Matt Houlbook’s Queer London.

The most distinctive venues were in working-class neighborhoods in east and south London -- dockside pubs like the Prospect of Whitby (Wapping Stairs) or Charlie Brown’s--(West India Dock Road). Dock laborers, sailors from across the world, and families mingled freely with flamboyant local queans and slumming gentlemen in a protean milieu where queer men and casual homosexual encounters were an accepted part of everyday life.

Okay, so admittedly, idk that Thomas was dragging himself out to east or south London in the little free time he had in London. And while there were definitely working-class places for queer men, they do seem to be less nightclubs with bands playing and more pubs and coffee shops and cruising venues where men tried to project a very masculine image, and also places where working class pretty boys would congregate and middle class trade would come to pick them up. Maybe he’s just shocked by the open dancing. (This is my generous interpretation of the movie -- that he’s shocked specifically about the fact that it’s a night club and it’s in York, and that ‘I don’t know men like me’ is a statement about his isolation, not about him literally not knowing where he could get laid, if not in York, then certainly in a bigger city.)

Anyway, working class spaces did exist! He seems so shocked not just by the open dancing, but by the idea that a large number of queer men are gathering, and I can’t imagine he’s never realised that queer spaces exist before or that he’s never spent time in them. I just ... have a hard time imagining he’s that sheltered and clueless. There have been chances for him to be exposed to queer spaces, if not ones exactly like the one we see in the movie.

It made for a very sweet moment when he stepped into that club and his face lit up. RJC did an excellent job. I don’t think Julian’s plotting around Thomas’s previous exposure to other queer people makes a lot of sense, though. I fully believe that he doesn’t have queer friends near Downton -- that maybe he’s never really made queer friends that he keeps in touch with (rather than casual encounters that immediately pass out of his life), and so he probably feels very isolated from gay life where he’s living now. I’m sure that contributed to his depression. I tend to think he may have had an extended period of celibacy, possibly since before his crush on Jimmy, which, again, probably contributed to his isolation and depression. I just think pre-war Thomas had to have been exposed to more than the movie suggests.

I’m not discouraging anyone from writing small-town, wide-eyed Thomas if that appeals to you. It’s just 100% not in line with what I felt we got in the 6 series that led up to that movie. To me, it doesn’t feel like it matches the set up from the show. I came out of the movie thinking that Thomas and Richard were very sweet, but wondering how, given what we’d seen of him previously, Thomas had made it to nearly 40, managed to fuck a Duke, comfortably navigated seedy London, possibly(?) knew he was getting cruised at a bar, and still seemed surprised not just that such a place existed in York, but seemingly that such places existed at all. (If he didn’t know he was getting cruised, idk what to do with him, tbh. I do think he realised that Chris was interested in him, though. He was surprised, but he knew what was going on.)

YMMV. I’m not mad about people having very different takes to mine. It just didn’t really work for me. I preferred the more knowing Thomas from earlier on. Does that have to do with the tens of thousands of words I’d written of him being more knowing and worldly about queer spaces before the movie came out? Possibly. That definitely made it harder for me to see him seem so sheltered. If I wasn’t already annoyed with Julian’s approach to Thomas at various points in the series, maybe that also would have made me more willing to buy in.

*I know they went down to London from time to time after the war -- I honestly can’t remember if they were still regularly participating in ‘the season’ after it started to decline as a central part of the social calendar, although I know they did at least do Rose’s season. Maybe they were still doing it every year. Someone’s free to let me know.

(Also this is very quick and messy, sorry.)

[destiny-smasher]

Kingdom Hearts 3 impressions

So, uh, I will ONLY be talking about stuff up until the very start of the second World, and only AFTER the break. Kingdom Hearts 1 was an incredibly important and influential piece of media when I was growing up. I was writing fic based on Smash Bros. just before KH rolled onto the scene was like, “Yo, Disney and Final Fantasy, BAM, fuckin’ random? fucking RADDDD” and I was all about it. You had FF characters remixed with OCs remixed with Disney characters, and the villains were all crossing over to form the League of Bad Cartoons, it was a great time. And then Nomura realized his gamble was a win and decided to waste the next 15 years of everyone’s time shoving in every trope he liked, every IDEA that felt “cool” together into a mish mash of whatever the hell this “narrative” has become. Suffice it to say, I’ve got beef with Kingdom Hearts as a “story.” It just occurred to me today that a big part of this is thematic/tonal.

But it’s also VERY rare, maybe even unprecedented, for a piece of media like Kingdom Hearts 3 to come around. For years, then months, then weeks, then days, I told myself, “It’s not real, that game doesn’t exist, I won’t believe it until I’m literally playing it” and just could not be bothered to be hype or interested, if only because Nomura’s “vision”, from my perspective, warped something I admired in my youth into a fucking train wreck, leaving me very little to feel emotionally invested in outside of Aqua and by proxy the two lads she is trying to protect. (also I GUESS I’m slightly invested in Axel/Xion/Roxas.../Namine? for similar reasons now that I think about it?) Well, guess what? Kingdom Hearts VERY WELL might be real, and I very well might be about three hours into it. And for all of the beef I have with the plot, I am fucking relieved that those three hours have felt/sounded good, as a video game. NOW we’re gonna talk about the first World. --

When I first heard that Olympus was gonna be the first World in KH3 I was disappointed and BAFFLED. We’re visiting that place a THIRD time? And why THAT World? Turns out, there’s actually some substantial thematic relevance and that’s actually A-OK, not to mention that starting with a familiar world after ALL OF THIS TIME is not such a bad way to kick things off. First off, structurally, I actually really enjoyed the way this world played out. Two of my biggest problems with KH as a video game series have been that worlds feel like empty, vacant, haunted houses, and that said worlds are usually small and linear with a lot of pointless backtracking. Olympus fixes all of this. There are NPCs. Actual fucking PEOPLE in this world. Sure, they’re just people in danger, calling for help, but they’re THERE for once! And they have vocies! EVERY line of dialogue (except for like one “plot” moment) has actually been voiced so far! About time. Also. This World is not as linear as most KH Worlds. In fact, it help more open and dynamic than ANY World in any KH game so far, not to mention it featured three, THREE (wtf) unique and distinct types of settings. The city, the mountain, and Olympus. Nice. ALSO also. The music. We’ve been here before. We KNOW that Olympus theme from earlier games. And as you traverse the city, up the mountain, you hear this more sweeping, movie-like version, and it’s like “oh whoa nice” aaaaand then you get TO Olympus and it KICKS in, the old song, up to modern snuff. That was great. That was a thing that really helped convey “Kingdom Hearts is back, baby.” The World was big, compared to typical KH worlds. It had multiple nooks and crannies to explore, side-paths to go down, treasure to find hidden away. There is a LOT of verticality. Running up walls and seamlessly hopping over things in the environment makes traversal more enjoyable than it ever has been. Even though a lot of the World is technically a linear path it’s not structured like a path. Going off and exploring rewards you with items and the like, and the World is big enough to actually feel like you have places to poke around in. Having said this, WHY is there no...map? Like. You literally COLLECT Maps from Chests like you used to. But near as I can tell, there’s no way to pull up an actual MAP, to seer where the main path is, to see where the side paths are. It’s boggling. Maybe the game has the option hidden away somewhere but if so, that’s just silly. And if there’s just no actual map option at ALL that’s just...baffling. There were barely any load times for how much SPACE there was to navigate, and things looked very shiny and pretty, and ran at a smooth 60 fps MOST of the time. Tech specs aren’t everything, but when your brand is built on “looking pretty” it sure af helps when you bring scale AND a smooth framerate to match. It’s weird, and a bit jarring, sometimes in a good way, to see all of this stuff rendered in modern tech. Stuff looks...a little too plasticy a lot of the time, (which actually ought to pay off when we get to Toy Story?) but the environments so far feel rich and vast and detailed all at once in a way we just have never seen the series, because we’re basically jumping from PS2-level tech to PS4. So that difference in production is more noticeable for the wait -- I just wish things looked a bit more...I guess cel-shaded? Like the original trailer. Things (specifically, characters) look a little too flat/plasticy at times, for how pretty things are. Combat seems to be as flashy as ever and I’m sure I’ll feel differently as I get further in and unlock more options but it’s still too easy, simple, and mashy for my tastes. I am HOPING we get more moments that require quick reflexes and specific tactics like the harder moments of older KH games. The amusement rides mechanic is...weird. It’s given NO context in universe. And they last a little too long/feel too overpowered for how easy they are to utilize. Similarly, there are frequently seemingly random party-member tag-team attacks that...just seem like “press triangle to win” moves. I wish they entailed more interaction, and/or felt less common/random. I like the IDEA of these kinds of moves, especially ones that change your controls/method of attack for a few seconds (like Hercules’ team attack) but the execution makes them feel too cheap and easy to abuse, with combat that’s ALREADY skewing on the “too easy” side for the genre. I like the “form change” for keyblades, and that you can swap keyblades in the middle of a fight. Really hoping this allows for some good tactical stuff later -- buuuuut that would also require the game to ASK OF ME to do more than “mash X,” which KH as a brand typically does not do... Characters SPEAK in reaction to gameplay moments, when you initiate things in the environment, etc. It’s a nice touch that makes them feel more like characters in an RPG. Donald and Goofy are ALWAYS in the party, alongside the Disney member(s). NICE. Maybe KH3 is putting its best foot forward, but overall, I was pleasantly surprised with Olympus. It single-handedly corrected MOST of the issues I’ve ever had with Kingdom Hearts level design. I only hope the momentum keeps going. Moving on, Gummi Ships. What little I played is easily the best they have every been. I love having an open world with optional places/fights to explore, while still giving me those shmup-like bursts of action. The Gummi Phone seems like a fun mechanic, and taking selfies/photos makes SENSE for this game because of how visually detailed it is -- but the pleasant surprise was how I took selfies with Donald and Goofy and they REACTED to it, starting to pose and commenting on it. On the other hand, the loading screen being nonsensical “social media” posts from KH characters...I don’t like it thanks go away. x’D I’ve spent only a few minutes in Twilight Town and INSTANTLY I am so much more enamored than I ever was in previous games. Not just due to the bump up in visual fidelity, but also because -- GASP -- NPCs??? Are you trying to tell me this is an actual TOWN that people LIVE IN?? Holy shit, Kingdom Hearts, I never knew! For all of this stuff I liked, though, KH3 is still...a KH game. Which means after you get through the intro, after you gear up to land in Olympus, the game flashes the title: “Kingdom Hearts II.9″ ...no. Just no. Fuck. Stop doing this shit. Whenever an Organization 13 member (or EX member) shows up and starts speaking all cocky in riddles like the flamboyant anime jackass they are, whenever Mickey starts dead-ass blathering about weird nonsense whenever the plot HAS to acknowledge “oh right Sora golly gawrsh ya FURRGOT this random bullshit a-FYUCK better shove this expository throwaway dialogue right in here before we go n’ furrget again!” whenever Kairi continues to be irrelevant and invisible after ALL THIS TIME whenever Rikku has to say some obligatory thing about his darkness or his copy of himself or Ansem or whatever whenever the plot informs Sorta/Dornold/Goffy about another convoluted ridiculous THING that we already know about and they MAYBE already know about because it is OBLIGATED to because this game’s entire purpose has become to “wrap things up already Nomura” I am reminded of the freshly opened scar on my heart from how much SHIT this series has dragged itself through for...what? Nothing worth all of this, IMO. Thankfully, these moments feel less and less pressing in KH3′s opening hours than they certainly could be, though I’m sure the closing hours of the game -- once they’ve tidily gotten all of that silly, inconsequential DISNEY CONTENT out of the way (even though that’s the BULK of the game environments and HALF of the series’ identity/purpose) -- those closing hours will surely be packed to the gills with all of this crazy crap. Maybe by then I might finally care enough to finally get the catharsis I’ve waited over a decade for. I dunno. I’m just relieved the game looks, plays, sounds, and feels as good as it does so far. EDIT: almost forgot to mention this since it hasn’t actually come up yet BUT I picked up a BUNCH of “ingredients”??? Like. FOR COOKING??? Which is one of my all-time favorite mechanics in a video game?? (thanks Paper Mario) So I’m at LEAST excited to see what THAT is all about.

[lady-hammerlock]

All I Want For Christmas (Telltale Batjokes Christmas Fluff)

AN:  Merry Christmas everyone. This is possibly the most stupidly fluffy thing I have ever written. I hope you like it, and that these two dorks can bring you a little bit of Christmas cheer. As always, the full story is available under the cut.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

“If you could have absolutely anything in the world for Christmas, and I mean anything, no matter how ridiculous it might seem at first, then what would it be?”

Bruce Wayne delighted in watching the way John Doe’s face lit up at the question.

It had occurred to Bruce just a few days earlier that John had probably never had the chance to celebrate Christmas before, or at least not properly. They probably did something to celebrate inside Arkham Asylum, but Bruce doubted there would have been much in the way of presents or cheer.

Bruce wanted to make this; the first Christmas that he and John had been together outside of Arkham for; the best day that he possibly could.

It wasn’t as though Bruce usually put any energy into Christmas; Alfred would cook turkey and a small Christmas pudding (one of a few British-isms that he had refused to give up and had consequently passed onto Bruce) and they would exchange simple gifts, but for the first time in a very long time, Bruce had someone apart from Alfred that he wanted to celebrate Christmas with.

Bruce was going to give John anything that he wanted. Anything at all. It wasn’t as though Bruce couldn’t afford it.

John contemplated the question for what felt like a very long time. Bruce could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“Anything?” John eventually asked.

“Anything,” Bruce confirmed.

“Even a mansion?” John asked.

Bruce had not been prepared for John to ask him for something that extravagant. He began to wonder whether John would consider moving into Wayne Manor with Bruce to be an acceptable solution. Bruce had been contemplating suggesting something similar for a while as it was, but if John insisted on a mansion, then well…

Perhaps Bruce could buy him his own apartment at the very least.

“Don’t worry buddy,” John said, pausing to let out a chuckle. “I’m not going to ask you for a mansion. I mean, I’d feel guilty if you did something that big for me. Ooh, what about a pony?”

That request also caught Bruce unawares.

“Do you actually want a pony?” he asked John.

“No, but that’s the sort of thing people ask for in this situation, right?”

“Er… Some people? I’m not sure how many fully grown men do though. John, seriously, do you want me to buy you a horse? I suppose I could…”

“Don’t be silly Bruce. What would I do with a horse in a city as big as this? There would be nowhere for me to keep it and the traffic would probably scare it. Er… maybe a puppy?”

Bruce was having a hard time convincing himself that giving John any sort of pet at all wouldn’t just end in disaster.

“No, I’ve got nowhere to keep a puppy either,” John conceded, and Bruce let out a sigh of relief. 

“I don’t know Bruce,” John said, suddenly looking rather downcast. “I don’t know what to ask for. What do people usually ask for? What would you ask for?”

“Huh?”

“If you were going to ask for anything at all for Christmas what would it be?”

“From you?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”

Bruce wasn’t used to asking anyone for anything on Christmas. Alfred always seemed to know exactly what to get him and no-one else really cared enough to ask. He didn’t really want to ask John for anything either, or at least for nothing material. John wasn’t exactly rolling in money, and there was always the chance that John would decide to steal whatever Christmas present Bruce asked for.

“I think,” Bruce began slowly, “that what I would ask for would be just to spend some time with you, without Harley or the Pact or anyone else interfering. Just the two of us.”

“So, like a date?”

Bruce hadn’t thought of it that way, and felt himself blushing as soon as John said the words. He really would have been happy just to spend some time with John, no strings attached. It was pretty rare that the two of them just got to spend time with each other without something interfering, and Bruce felt a little too greedy and a little too guilty even hoping for anything more from John when just being around John made Bruce feel more at ease and more inclined to smile than he had in years.

“Uh, I guess?”

Bruce waited for the inevitable kind smile and gentle let-down. He had already been through that exact situation with John once, but instead the smile that appeared on John’s face was wide and genuine.

“Aw Bruce,” John said, reaching over to place a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “You don’t have to waste your Christmas wish on that. I would have given you that anyway. Seriously, you ever want me there, I’m there!”

“Really?” Bruce asked.

“Oh sure! Christmas this year is going to be excellent! Just me and my buddy Bruce and er… I don’t know what else. What do normal people even do on Christmas? I don’t know, but it’s going to be incredible!”

And John was right.

In the end Bruce gave John his present a few days before Christmas and it doubled as the time that they spent together, although it was far from the only quality time Bruce managed to carve out with his good buddy John over the few days leading up to Christmas. Bruce took John to a couple of his favorite high-end tailors, and had his friend measured for a couple of the most comfortable, luxurious outfits money could buy.

Of course he let John help pick the material and the cut, and John ended up walking out of the second store they visited, slurping the frozen cola he had been carrying around over the past half hour and wearing the most over-the-top purple coat and matching purple gloves that he could have possibly found. The coat would have probably looked ridiculous or a little too flamboyant on anyone else, but on John it looked perfect.

Bruce invited John to Wayne manor for Christmas Day itself. John spent the entire time smiling, and Bruce found himself inclined to smile too whenever he saw how happy John was. It was the first time in a very long time that anyone had joined Bruce and Alfred for Christmas, and John’s presence seemed to light up the whole mansion and make it feel like Christmas in a way that Bruce hadn’t experienced since he had been a child spending Christmas with his family.

Alfred made the same turkey and the same Christmas pudding as he usually did, but it all tasted so much better with someone else to share it with. 

They had barely finished eating when John dragged Bruce over to the Christmas tree and insisted that they all open the rest of their gifts. When John handed Bruce a large, messily wrapped gift Bruce couldn’t help but grimace as he hoped that whatever John had given him wasn’t stolen or too outlandish.

Bruce was pleasantly surprised when he pulled back the garish green paper to find a large photo album. Flipping through it he discovered that it was full of photos of John and Bruce and many of the other people they knew. John had clearly put a lot of effort into placing the photos and decorating the pages himself, and had added notes and drawings to a lot of the pages.

Bruce almost found himself tearing up as he carefully turned each of the pages.

“Thank you John,” Bruce said. “This is… This is beautiful…”

John visibly relaxed at those words, as though Bruce’s approval meant the world to him.

“You really like it?” he asked. 

“I love it.”

“Oh good. I was worried there for a bit. I mean, what do you get the guy who has everything, right? But you said you wanted time with me, so memories of the time that we’ve already spent together seemed like… well, like the closest thing I could actually give you as a gift.”

Bruce smiled, stamping down on the instinct to say that just being able to spend Christmas with John was all that he could ever want. After all, John had clearly put a lot of thought and effort into his gift, and Bruce didn’t want to accidentally trivialize it, no matter how much his heart was glowing or how much he felt like blurting out something ridiculously sappy.

So far Christmas had been absolutely perfect, but the night wore on, and eventually it was time for John to leave and for Bruce to think about donning the cowl and assuming his role of Gotham’s protector.

“Thank you for coming today,” Bruce said as he and John slowly made their way out of the living room, both of them heading towards the front door with a lack of speed that gave away their reluctance to part. “It’s been…”

Bruce wasn’t sure how he should describe their day together. Incredible? Amazing? One of the best days of his life?

“It’s been real nice huh?” John said before Bruce could settle on a word, and somehow the simplicity of John’s statement felt more appropriate than anything Bruce might have chosen to say.

“Yeah,” Bruce said. “Really nice.”

They both came to a stop in the doorway that led to the mansion’s front foyer. Bruce got the distinct impression that John didn’t want to leave any more than Bruce wanted to say goodbye to him.

“Well…” John murmured, rubbing at his sleeve.

He didn’t get any further however before Alfred let out a cry from the other side of the room.

“Oh my goodness Master Bruce!” the butler said, feigning a great deal of shock.

Bruce knew what that tone meant. It meant that someone, undoubtedly Bruce, was about to find themselves dealing with Alfred’s surprisingly crafty and mischievous side.

“Look up,” Alfred prompted.

Bruce looked up and found himself suddenly lost for words.

John looked at Bruce and then also looked up.

“Oh,” John said. “Wait. Is that…?”

“It appears that someone has placed mistletoe around the house,” Alfred said. Bruce couldn’t tear his eyes away from the seemingly innocent green leaves and white berries above his and John’s head, but he could hear the smile in Alfred’s voice.

He knew why Alfred had done it as well. Heavens knew he had listened to Bruce pining for John enough over the past few weeks. Obviously the crafty old butler had decided to do something about it, although Bruce could not for the life of him work out when Alfred had actually put the mistletoe up.

“That means we’re supposed to kiss, right?” John asked, pointing at the sprig of green and white.

“Yes,” Bruce replied, feeling as though half of his brain cells had just fried. “But we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I mean, it’s not really compulsory and I won’t be off…”

He didn’t get any further before John was throwing himself at Bruce and pressing their lips together in a clumsy but incredibly enthusiastic kiss.

At first Bruce was too shocked to do anything at all, but after a moment he remembered to close his eyes, and then he was relaxing into the kiss and reaching up to gently grab John, his hands wrapping around John’s upper arms, his fingers digging into the soft material of the purple coat that Bruce had bought for him, and which John had refused to take off over the past few days.

The matching gloves felt unexpectedly soft and warm against Bruce’s skin as John reached up to cup either side of Bruce’s face.

John let out a soft moan as Bruce began to kiss back in earnest.

Bruce had no idea how long the kiss lasted, but when they began to pull apart it felt to Bruce as though it had not been nearly long enough, although Bruce had a feeling he would think that even if it had lasted for hours. He would, he realized in that moment, die a very happy man indeed if he could spend the rest of his life kissing John Doe.

Their hands both fell to their sides, and then Bruce was just standing there, staring at the man in front of him, barely able to believe what had just happened.

“You just kissed me,” Bruce said.

“Well yeah,” John replied with a roll of his eyes. “We were standing under mistletoe and you’re… Well, you’re you; super handsome and intelligent Bruce Wayne; the most amazing guy in the whole world. I would have to be completely insane not to kiss you.”

Bruce wished that he had not suddenly lost the ability to speak, but apparently he had. There was so much he wanted to say. He wanted to thank John for the kiss and ask him if it had meant more than just a holiday tradition and ask him whether Bruce might be allowed to steal another kiss and tell him how beautiful he was and all those thoughts were warring and in the end nothing at all came out. He just stood there and stared at John like an idiot.

“Thank you Bruce,” John said, and Bruce had a feeling he would have been blushing had his skin actually been capable of such a thing. “Not just for today, but for everything. It’s been amazing. You… you’re amazing.”

He gave Bruce another kiss, this one a feather-light thing that landed on Bruce’s cheek and made him feel like he could fly, and then John was leaving, smiling shyly at Bruce as he made his way to the manor’s front door.

For another moment Bruce found himself completely unable to do anything. John had just kissed him. John Doe had just kissed him.

He found himself bringing one hand up to his cheek, where he could have sworn he could still feel the warmth from John’s last kiss. That had really happened, hadn’t it?

He glanced around the room, but there was no sign of Alfred; the older man having apparently retreated in order to give Bruce and John some privacy as soon as the actual kiss had started.

It was then that it hit Bruce. John was leaving and no-one was stopping him! Bruce didn’t want him to leave; not yet.

“John wait!” Bruce cried out, chasing after the other man.

John paused, one gloved hand already resting on the handle of the manor’s front door, and looked over his shoulder at Bruce.

“You… you don’t have to leave,” Bruce said. “You can stay if you want. I mean… I want you to stay. You can spend the night. Not… I don’t mean that we would be… you know… Not that I’d be against that if you wanted to, but uh…”

John was staring at Bruce now. Bruce wondered if he was making any sense at all. Damn it. Wasn’t he Bruce Wayne; womanizer extraordinaire? He was supposed to be good at this, wasn’t he? He supposed it was easier when you weren’t already madly in love with the person you were talking to.

“Stay?” Bruce asked. For a few seconds it felt as though his heart stopped beating completely as he waited for John to answer.

“I’d like that,” John said, his hand falling from the door handle. He looked over at Bruce, his mouth stretching into a wide grin. 

Bruce could hardly believe that he’d ever found anything about that grin threatening or uncanny. Sure, it was a little strange, but Bruce wouldn’t trade it for the world, or the pleased, half-suppressed giggle that John let out as he approached Bruce.

“I’d like that a lot,” John said. 

John slipped his hand around Bruce’s own, entwining their fingers as the two of them headed back to the sitting room.

[operationrainfall]

Title Mega Man 11 Developer Capcom Publisher Capcom Release Date October 2nd, 2018 Genre Platformer Platform Steam, PS4, Switch, XBox One Age Rating E for Everyone – Cartoon Violence Official Website

I’ve been waiting to write this review ever since Mega Man 11 got announced. In fact, much of the speculation in my opinion piece regarding this and Mighty No. 9 gets resolved here. But first let’s back up a little. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this game a very long time, and part of that was due to how Capcom seemed to ignore Mega Man for a period of several years. We can speculate about why they suddenly felt the need to make a big push again with Mega Man 11, but I’d rather talk about my impressions of the game. My goal with this review is to give a fair and unbiased picture of the game, not just be the ravings of a fanboy (though I certainly am one). So, the question is, was Mega Man 11 worth the lengthy wait? Or was Capcom right to ignore the blue bomber for as long as they did?

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One of the first things that stuck out to me in this game was that Mega Man 11 has a bit more focus on plot than most games in the series. I’ve said before that nobody plays Mega Man games for their plot, and while that’s true, sometimes a little can go a long way, especially when it sheds new light on iconic characters. Specifically, this game gives us a look at Light and Wily in their youth and the precipitating event that splits them apart. It’s easy to see Dr. Wily as nothing more than a cartoon villain, devoid of substance. Here, we see how his ideals conflicted with those of a young Dr. Light, and how the object of that split is put to use as a new weapon in his war on mankind. Back in the day Wily built the Double Gear system, and in this game he captures eight more Robot Masters, reprograms them and empowers them with it.

Knowing this would immediately put Mega Man at a huge disadvantage, Dr. Light uses Wily’s prototype Double Gear to enhance him, and you’re off to the races. I liked the inclusion of this mechanic, and found it dramatically affected gameplay. There are two Gears you can activate as you play: Power and Speed. While either is active, a meter will fill up, and when it’s full, you’ll be unable to use either Gear until you cool down. As for what the Gears do, you can probably guess from their descriptions, but I’ll run through it real quickly. The Power Gear makes your basic shots more powerful, and even supercharges the special weapons you get from bosses to devastating effect. The Speed Gear on the other hand makes you go so fast that everything else seems to slow down in comparison. But that’s not the same as you being super fast; it more drains the speed from everything on the screen. This slow-mo effect was very useful as I played, and I found myself using it much more often than the Power Gear.

This angry mushroom was one of my favorite new enemies.

One of the things I most appreciated about this system is how well it was implemented into the game as a whole. Not just for combat, but for tricky platforming as well. For example, in Acid Man’s stage there’s a section where you’re navigating a spiky gauntlet underwater. I died at first, until I realized I had to use the Speed Gear to slow down my reaction time so I could just avoid getting punctured as I hopped through. I also depended on the Speed Gear to freeze foes when they made themselves vulnerable, as many enemies in the game have an unbreakable shield. However, you can also get past them by hitting most foes with fully charged shots, which will stun them briefly. This brings me to my complaint about the Power Gear. It just didn’t feel as necessary for the general puzzle solving the game confronted you with. There were never any times I had to use it to break an obstruction or open a specific type of door. It just made me stronger, which felt much less important when my other Gear could slow enemies to a crawl.

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Another new aspect to the game is that you can select your difficulty. I went with Normal, but for those uncertain about their platforming skills, there’s no shame in choosing an easier option, especially since even on Normal, Mega Man 11 is tough. Though you can get through the game in 3-6 hours (my playtime was about five and a half), each level will make you earn your victory. That goes double for the challenging boss fights, which were all delightfully distinct. Other than that, there are many newer series staples, such as purchasing upgrades from Auto and Roll. I found this very handy, as I could always use some spare Bolts to buy E-Tanks and extra lives for especially challenging levels. Though there was one feature I found very problematic, and that was the weapon shortcuts. I’m used to pressing shoulder buttons to switch between my powers, but you can also do it with the right Joy-Con stick. Problem is, I generally played the game portably, and often would accidentally hit the joystick as I played, which would distract me just long enough for something to kill me. Thankfully, you can turn that feature off in the settings, which I quickly did.

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It’s never a great Mega Man game without great Robot Masters, and Mega Man 11 certainly delivers. I’m still impressed Capcom can keep coming up with names at this point, especially considering how many are iterations on the same idea, such as Fire or Ice. Each of the eight Robot Masters has a totally unique design, and they fight very differently. There’s the suave and precise Tundra Man, who skates around like an Olympic ice skater. Or take Blast Man, who hurls explosives everywhere in a frenzy. One of my favorites was Bounce Man, who jumps around like he’s propelled by rubber bands, flinging his stretchy fists at Mega Man.

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What I most enjoyed about the boss fights was that each of them will bust out their own Gear-powered attacks when they’re losing, which makes things a lot more challenging. Some examples are when Impact Man uses the Power Gear to transform into a massive threat, or when Fuse Man uses the Speed Gear to zap around trying to electrocute you. They’re all great bosses, especially since each of them is voiced. Yes, some are a bit corny, like the medieval knight voice of Impact Man, or the flamboyant Tundra Man, but I’ve come to expect and appreciate a little silliness in Mega Man. If I want dark and edgy content, I’ll stick to the X or Mega Man Zero series of games.

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Other than the Double Gear system and difficulty selection, Mega Man 11 plays many things safe. That’s not a complaint, mind you. If a formula works, why change it unnecessarily? That said, there are nice modern flourishes that keep things fresh, such as handy checkpoints in each stage. It’s a good mix of old school challenge and new school streamlining. The game is definitely tough, but never in a way that felt unfair. Sure, I died plenty of times, but usually it was due to not paying attention or reacting fast enough. This happened a lot in Torch Man’s stage as I ran from walls of flames, or in Tundra Man’s stage when I got blown by a gust of wind into a bottomless pit. My only critique is that several of the bosses and mini bosses in the game have a bad tendency to push you into a corner and crowd you. You can avoid this most of the time, but it was frustrating that it happened more than once.

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If all that wasn’t enough, there are also Challenges in the game to add replay value. There’s a wide variety, from collecting medals to using as few jumps as possible to even a Boss Rush or two. Adding to that are a wide variety of records to unlock, reminiscent of Smash Bros. I appreciate Capcom making sure there’s some replay value, especially since the game can be beaten in under an hour (at least according to one of the records I have yet to unlock). It’s much easier to justify a short game when there’s reasons to keep on playing, other than just wanting to beat the game again.

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Visually, this is a beautiful Mega Man game. I like to think of it as a mix of the challenge of Mega Man 9 and 10 with the color and style of Mega Man 8. Sure, it’s not 8-bit, but it’s still quite stunning in action. I also appreciated how Mega Man changes his look depending on which power he has equipped (kind of like Beck…). Not just the color scheme, but the look of his body. I also never encountered any slowdown, which is great for this genre. Musically, I had no real complaints. It kept me tuned in, and each level theme was fitting. While I don’t recall any standout tracks, I also didn’t dislike anything I heard. The icing on the cake was the aforementioned corny voice acting for the Robot Masters, as well as Mega Man, Roll, Auto, Dr. Light and Dr. Wily. Mega Man 11 does a good job of showing how such a classic series can hold its own in a modern environment.

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All in all, I rather enjoyed Mega Man 11, and feel it was worth the long wait. But I have a proviso. I love pretty much everything about this game, but I think it proves Capcom has no more excuses to wait more than two years before the next one. They still know how to make a great Mega Man game, and they can plainly see there is still plenty of demand for them. For $29.99, fans can’t really go wrong with this. It isn’t perfect, and I feel the Double Gear system was a bit half-assed, but it does so many other things right that it’s hard to complain. If you’ve been waiting for a new Mega Man game, or just want a great platformer, you can’t go wrong. Nice to see Mighty No. 9 did one thing right.

[easyreview cat1title=”Overall” cat1detail=”” cat1rating=”4.5″]

Review Copy Purchased by Author

REVIEW: Mega Man 11 Title Mega Man 11