#i also am going back to singing which is gr9

[devoutpriest]

I think I might buy fried fish and chips at seafood stall, probably before or after I go to coles, soon. With chicken salt, as I like how it tastes. One of the times I went there, I walking there with using TripView, a moment that stuck out to me was I asking for that kind of salt on my chips, and I said it pretty softly, and they were a bit annoyed, yet i then said it louder.

I discovered a lot of new music this year, it blurring a bit in taste the year before / and before that. it is surprising skin of a saint is the first one on my spotif.y wrapp.ed, even though he with the butterfly on his nose was interesting, as it showed up on my app. I thought Livingston would be, as Athelstan era. *shrugs* Oh I love Sebastian Schub so much atm!

i am thankful for the nice reception athelstan received in the vikings community, he means a lot to me. I found him really interesting, I watching Vikings initially because of George Blagden, yet I found his journey interesting, I found his visions and his belief of Christ and Norse interesting.

I am thankful I found the Catholic Youth bible that eluded me in 2015 (when I first wrote him — so, my tangent of memory from living life especially in high school & what I felt from the show & looking at bible verses online), my high school bible that I learned a lot about Jesus.

I liked the bible, when I was in high school, yet okay, I quite hated Religion Class, ironically. -laughs- I liked watching Prince of Egypt in class. For Year 11 & 12, it ended up being life skills for me and Juliette. No HSC for that, just for English, which was gr9. <3 I heard bad stories about HSC, during my time at school, because students are so stressed they.. y’know. there literally is a bridge I walk across to go to school, stretching over the road. Hmm, well, Year 7 - 10 was stressful as it is.

I could understand about The Gospel of St John, and the Letters, in its beautiful papyrus smell in an olden day-esque backing, which I understand Athelstan had at the time, when he was painting at the monastery. So I touched a bit upon what his mind was like with that belief rememberance, as well as when he sub-consciously remembers other excerpts from religiously reading throughout his time living there. And of course, when he is with Ecbert at England.

I am glad I decided to have miles heizer here as a modern athelstan, as he was living on my multimuse. modern and historical lives in me, though, and I am mainly on here & sansa, as a clear window, of understanding where I am on my personal living discord. so with my phone note discord, I can talk either ic or ooc on sansa and athelstan in some colours of brilliance, which I outlined a bit in clear chronological, which watching TV / YT / Spotify / just natural air helps. Oh also, I could sometimes pop in on actual discord too, ( yet that is less predictable as I needed that for so long, just to know myself & reality ) as it is one clear space (well, more than one space, but still just one app) to centre me. I am just invisible now, so even if i am actually on there or not, I am okay with knowing what it is, as well as it being in the background at times in my life. So grey area, crow fluttering.

i could continue stories on S & A, referencing from when I felt at peace with them living on my mumu ( they would originally stay as they are ). another reason, well, that I need miles here as a visual remember as I live my life in the present, is that alex standall is struggling to just live life in this modern world ( he is ‘nice’ with his soft voice and jess says he is quiet yet I see his anger ), and I also see in general that shy sensitive boys remind me of athelstan. for example, singers like alec benjamin sing in a high sweet ballad voice & is hurting yet then I literally just see him in a car and eating a sandwich and singing to people on the street.

I talked to my friend luuk, who does asmr. I watched the glasses one all the way through again on my iPhone 8 Plus, it a bit weird of his whispering. He’s cool.

I am thankful my friend invited me to a certain discord, as I needed that medication supplement. I spoke a little there, that helping with the ❌ in my brain. people are nice. I know a certain person has been really cruel for a long time ( yet okay - I needed a perspective email window ), mocking me as I try and try to be good, as I try and try to live my life, as I see specific rule guides that come into mind, they were haunting me, like billing / card & signature guideline. I was coughing really bad, and my brain felt like it was splitting / trying to not make me, well, die. I felt hot and cold sensation, I needing to touch the bathroom wall when I was showering, to steady me. I felt this dull indignancy of my body, which I needed to watch youtube on my 8 plus, like GOT7. I felt a bad chronic emptiness, as well as violent car crash dreams and people shooting me. I felt I was barely holding on in the world, I would be gone in the next second. okay, im describing different moments in time here, but you know. I know that was only one person at specific times in my life, yet the ensnarement was bad, affecting me and my judgement. It is also fucking evil how my surroundings treated me badly in its external validation / gaslighting / relatable stories, as I gasp for breath and my brain whirring to understand, while treating me like an anonymous insect fly, I feeling like my brain is like sour worms, with its scattered disarray. Yet I have user-run windows / could have one, now too, so that helps me breathe, to communicate better, even just a little to literally anyone in my vicinity, so the relational comm is not as bad. i need my natural surroundings to stay, okay, yet I have my tools for knowing my reality with that, so… -sighs- HMmm, I see you say I am a leftist, I fought to build my house with community building tools, and acknowledged / am so kind and nice to them too. So, I see on a site that explains quite clearly about catfi.shing, and speaking specifically about posts and messages in which one generally tries to live their life with hobbies. So for example, someone might receive a message or post they see on some site I’m trying to express myself in and post in their little clique in its context as it is + as well as surrounding links, as I noted in my little things observations ( stemming a lot on my mumu & fb initially ) as I was literally in fairytale television land / not understanding reality / drowning in terror of my whole life especially && I just…am known as that simply now ; yet just I hopefully calmer regaining my balance in the world. Just know, I say to myself, the little things observations article does portray by itself how scared and knowing I was of that very real conspiracy.

I also touched upon my very long disjointed jigsaw phone bookmarks that were the in the moment / aftermath of a site’s uprising ( I panicking and not understanding the settlement of my body of just really being with community after overworking for so long in silence ) in internal and external operation of my personal discord, as well as just mentioning their alreadied presence.

[siffleur]

i just want to say i really love cecil’s pride icon thanks.