#i also am going back to singing which is gr9

[siffleur]

i just want to say i really love cecil’s pride icon thanks.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

@theeyethatbinds​ Girl SING IT. SING IT LOUDER FOR THE GIRLS IN THE BACK, SWEAR TO GOD.

Like I’m gonna be real wit y’all I was looking forward to le Comte for a while, but I was always side-eyeing Jeanne. He’s a blunt hermit and grump and 100% mood, so I hoped his route would give me more insight into how I feel about him.

Ladies. When I tell you. It was EXCELLENT. I mean there are so many gr9 routes in the game, I don’t want to take away from them, but there was just something about his that hit me so hard???? (MY KOKORO BROKORO)

More under the cut since his route won’t be out for a little while (we still got Isaac, then Theo, then Jeanne), as a little treat. As usual, pls don’t read if you don’t want spoilers, thanks!

Okay so going into this route I was fully expecting the big sads. I mean, if history has taught us anything it was that Joan D’Arc was a badass but good lord, that doesn’t mean the people of her time were kind to her. (I need to do more thorough research on her, so if I’m getting any of her pronouns wrong or neglect something, I do apologize.)

That being sad, I was like aight DECK MY SHIT WITH TRAGEDY, JEANNE. And at the beginning it’s p fascinating. He’s very ornery and resistant to any kind of consideration or attempts at friendship MC extends. But eventually, after a good deal of persistence, he relents little by little.

I’d also like to level with y’all for a sec. Being someone who knows a great deal in regards to the kinds of mental and emotional shit Jeanne struggles through, I think they handled that part of the route so, so well. Granted, I’m not the kind of person to launch a crusade over different writing styles--but for me it just feels all the more poignant when it makes sense; when certain dispositions or trauma are conveyed with that depth. To me, it made 100% sense that Jeanne would be so against accepting other people into his life immediately.

He and Mozart vibe because they’re so similar, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s comfortable letting just anyone in--much less a complete stranger. I think it’s more that Mozart and Jeanne share a kind of indelible bond/mutual recognition through their talent, actually. They were both prodigies, absolute geniuses in their fields (military vs. music) but their social skills were shot to hell for the very same reason. To be brilliant--beyond one’s potential posthumous legacy--tends to mean being hated. Plus, they’re both principled to absolute extremes. When they’ve decided on something, they will not waver. They’re stubborn and austere, but behind those walls lies a molten core of sensitivity.

This is important to understanding him, I think, before I move forward.

While one could argue that their reaction is a result of that deficiency of emotional and social support (which I entirely concede does contribute to the matter at hand, it shouldn’t be overlooked) I think the real crux of the matter here is control. Think about it. Among the oldest residents in the mansion (let’s say that were born more than 100 years within the range of the present period of the game) are Mozart, Jeanne, Isaac, and Shakespeare. What do they all have in common?

Extremity. For Mozart, it comes in the form of a kind of OCD, as perfectionism. For Jeanne, it is generalized anxiety and PTSD. For Isaac, it is primarily social anxiety--but it’s still noticeably severe. And Shakespeare runs around with a knife, insecurity through the roof, literally unable to trust anything or anyone (psychosis? schizoaffective? I’m really not sure, these are all ballpark assessments based on the evidence I have). In order to adjust to their new surroundings, there was a cost--and in some ways their coping mechanisms become noticeably maladaptive. They were born into eras that were mercilessly unpredictable, and the only way they knew how to cope was to was to either take the blame--make it a personal failing that tragedy struck--or try to immerse themselves into their craft. They all seek to regain some kind of control (this is even visible in Vincent, to a degree--painting was an escape from his emotionally turbulent world).

Granted that’s not to say that the others don’t struggle with such issues at all, I just feel like the characters from more unstable time periods tend (as a general trend) to mirror that instability within their personalities.

All that being said, (I apologize I am a tangent-monger and love meta), Jeanne’s self-imposed isolation is only partially caused by the above dynamic. Yes, he is unwilling to let people into his heart for fear of betrayal. (It’s almost like an entire nation clamoring to watch you burn for something you didn’t do after spending your entire life and talents trying to protect them would do that to you, but I digress >:| ). But there’s another devastating and potentially less obvious reason for keeping people out.

He thinks he deserves it.

Loneliness, melancholy, aimlessness. These are all the punishments that he incurred on himself after a life of what he conceives to be considerable sin (hahaha battlefield enemies go ripppp). Whether or not he was operating purely out of a sense of duty, even if he felt sympathy for his enemy combatants, it’s not enough. And the condemnation of his king, of his entire nation, only served to magnify that self-loathing to a dangerous degree. (Don’t get me started on his parents I’m still so angry >:| they more or less disowned him since he was constitutionally weak as a young boy, and thus could not serve as an adequate farmhand. Don’t work? Don’t eat/live).

It’s hard enough living in a reserved way because you’re afraid of getting hurt, but to think that you deserve it when hurt finds you, no less? And my favorite part, that he’s so profoundly sure that it is an extension of a personal, fundamental failing? That for a person to survive, they must be strong, that there can be no other way--that there is no time or space for ruminations on fairness or unfairness, there are only those who manage to survive and those who die.

Now my friends, esteemed comrades, legendary sluts. Is that enough for us, Cybird asks, are we feeling enough pain quite yet? Fuck no.

Most of his route after we get over the hurdle of his hesitation is just him. Being. Bashful and gentle as all FUCK. Like he is the definition of “I'll kill you, but also I’m babie.” For instance, she insists on teaching him how to read and write at night when she finds him trying (and not succeeding) to read “The Ugly Duckling”. Yes I mean the children’s book. I CRIED THE FIRST TIME AND I’M CRYING NOW. So, naturally, MC buys him a notebook to practice with and he puts his name in big letters on the front. When MC sees this, she asks him about it--wondering why he would given he’s so self-conscious of his own writing (boy writes all squiggly like a little kid because he’s never done it before ;-;).

The scene goes a little something like this:

MC: Wh....whatcha go there Jeanne? Jeanne: ? My notebook? MC: I...mean that you wrote your name on it? Jeanne: Yeah? MC: Why? Jeanne: ._. It was a gift from you, and I figured it'd be hard to practice if I lost it...so I put my name on it... (HE WAS SECRETLY TOUCHED I BET AND IM--) MC: Why such big letters? Jeanne: So people can spot it quickly, obviously MC, inches from crying and laughing: Jeanne: Mademoiselle??? Why are you laughing? MC: Because you’re cute, Jeanne!

Like. They start out so rocky and Jeanne is so SIGH. I guess I’ll agree if it’ll get her to stop looking so sad and ask me to join her for stuff. But then he just can’t help but go full softe at how patient and kind she is, starts feeling comfortable just...being who he is deep down. A man that’s always hoped for better in life, a person that only ever takes up his sword to protect--that has an incredibly pure and clear heart, despite so much pain.

And good lord, they are GOD TIER romantic slow burn???? Swear to everything holy, I was BEGGING for them to make out by like chapter 10, I was just suffering for most of the route until the bangarang premium. Here’s probably my favorite moment in the entire route:

Basically Sebastian and Mozart pull out all the stops trying to bring Jeanne and MC together (once they see Jeanne show some interested in her). And so Jeanne asks her to join him in the courtyard the next morning, and they’re playing with Cherie (Jeanne’s pet baby white tiger). Besides being ungodly adorable--because Jeanne invited her for the sole purpose of hoping to see her delightfully surprised--Mozart begins to play a love song nearby. They don’t name the tune, but Jeanne canonically starts singing along (I wholeass cried, I WANT TO HEAR HIM SING????). And so she asks what the song is about, and he explains that Mozart once played it for him, but he couldn’t make out the words at first. Mozart explained that it was a love song that speaks to the difficulties of being in love (the worry, the strife) but also the beauty of the intensity and passion. He goes on to say that even when he learned the words, it never made much sense to him back then--it never resonated.

He’s singing softly with a fond look, and so she asks, does he understand it now? And he looks her dead in the eye, and says “...I think I’m starting to.” Like. AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT LOSE MY MIND AT THE TENDERNESS????? WHAT A SMOOTH MOFO????? MAN RAISED TO BE A SOLDIER, NO KNOWLEDGE OF ROMANCE OR WOMEN, AND KILLS ME IN MILLISECONDS?????? I DEMAND JUSTICE. (Or it’s just me thinking sincerity is the best aphrodisiac, but that’s beside the point.)

This has been your quarantine 2d boy meta and yelling, provided by your local mod Minnie. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to get to the things I’ve been procrastinating on while reliving/dissociating about one of my favorite rts in the entire game. Stay safe and well out there y’all, peace out!

[forr-everrmorre]

Anastasia - October 14, 2017 Matinee

I just got back from Anastasia and I’m still internally screaming despite it ending like 4 hours ago. here’s my detailed explanation description. (and I mean very, VERY detailed. a lot of it is under a cut bc I get into super spoilery territory)

Zach was on as Dimitry, and Ian and Kristen were on for Zach and Molly respectively. ZACH. DIMITRY.

before anyone asks, I didn’t record an audio. I got so caught up in the moment I forgot lol whoops.

honest to god, even before the curtain went up I was crying when I heard the opening notes of the Prologue.

NICOLE IS SO ADORABLE

during Last Dance Of The Romanovs, the suitor dancing with Kristen didn't lift her properly and right after they looked at each other and he was like "whoops"

the death of the Romanovs actually scared me like they made it terrifying with the window shattering effects and the red EVERYTHING

Lily can actually be seen comforting the Dowager Empress after Last Dance Of The Romanovs

yes, I internally screamed when Ramin came on. don't judge me.

Gleb so confidently says his opening Leningrad monologue, then Dimitry just comes in and roasts the hell out of him

when Dimitry says "Hail our brave new land", he's mockingly waving his arms around while right behind him Gleb is doing the exact same thing and honestly same.

right after that, Gleb like goes up to Dimitry and he legit RUNS OFF STAGE IN FEAR OMFG

during the part where everyone is like saying something good about Leningrad then saying something snarky, Gleb’s face is like "see, great place waIT WHAT"

after singing his verse in A Rumor In St Petersburg, Vlad immediately hits Dimtry with his hat

everyone's so happy during Rumor, but at the end right before the final shhhh, Gleb just gets on the podium and everyone just does the shhhhhh in fear

before moving on, I would like to mention that I love Kristen Smith Davis, Sissy Bell and Shina Ann Morris.

Dimitry is HIDING BEHIND A COUCH WHEN ANYA COMES INTO THE THEATER IM

Vlad's also hiding and it scares Anya when he comes out

now’s a good time to mention that when a song is starting, the projection usually gets like a subtle change in hue and it’s really cool

Gleb does this like intimidating version of the chin thing (tm) that basically LIFTS one of the fake actresses, then he like lightly blows on one of them and they all run away

Anya throws/hits with a book Dimity and Vlad at least 3 times in Learn To Do It

When Vlad makes them dance, at first Dimitry takes these GIANT UNGRACEFUL STEPS AND ITS HILARIOUS

the background changed from winter to spring once it seems that Anya's finally confident in her ability

Gleb's like shouting in his office until he turns and sees who Anya is and his voice just softens in like two seconds

you can tell that even when Gleb is trying to be funny and personable, he's still a stiff military man

THE CHIN THING (TM) WAS SHORTER THAN PROMISED SMH RAMIN

there's one part during the last verse where Anya harmonizes with Gleb, but it's so subtle that you probably can't tell from a recording

when Gleb says “it’s the silence after I remember most”, not only is it dead silent, there’s also the sound of wind in the background

James Pierce quickly became one of my favorite ensemble members just from how he acts drunk before My Petersburg

Dimitry gets like a potato or something from the street rats' fire and gives it to Anya before My Petersburg

ANYA SAVES DIMITRY AT ONE POINT DURING THE FIGHT SCENE

when Zach was climbing the bench for My Petersburg while the turntable was spinning, you could tell he was having a little bit of trouble and it was adorable

(he also had trouble taking the second can of beans out of his bag during Rumor btw)

also ZACH KILLED IT IN MY PETERSBURG

THE LIGHTING DESIGN IN ONCE UPON A DECEMBER GIVES ME LIFE

they project the phantom images of the Romanovs dancing on the walls of the side of the theater. you probably can't see it from the orchestra seats tho

Dimitry lifts Anya A LOT

I knew from the recording that a lot of the actors were fantastic singers, but live, so many of them are STELLAR. Christy, Ramin, and Constantine in particular imo are so much better live.

btw Stay I Pray You gave me chills. that song really lets the ensemble shine. literally. half the song, Christy, John and Zach were just standing there not singing while the ensemble KILLED IT.

Anya and Dimitry leave the train compartment by the time Vlad starts singing We'll Go From There, so he’s basically monologuing the entire time

after Vlad says "I'll bow as if I'm still a frisky young pup" HIS BACK CRACKS

when Dimitry's doing that thing where he's half standing on a bench, half leaning on the train, the ladies on the bench just look at him as if he's crazy the entire time

the way that them jumping off the train transitions into Traveling Sequence was SO COOL

THE STAGING FOR STILL WAS SO

ITS PROBABLY ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS PRODUCTION WISE DESPITE HOW SIMPLE IT WAS

so like Gleb's standing off to the side from Traveling Sequence and he starts singing and it's all dark and stuff

around when he reaches "a son becomes a man at his father's knee", a soldier gives him his jacket. then around "I am nothing but a man with nothing but his orders to fulfill", another soldier gives him his train tickets. but then around "until your heart replies", another one gives him a gun.

at the end of it, there's like 4 vague shadowy soldier figures behind him, and he turns around and all of them salute before the lights fade.

Journey To The Past gave me chills. that's all I'm saying.

I never liked Paris Holds The Key that much, but the freaking choreography CERTAINLY made up for it. hands down my favorite choreo the entire show

before Dimitry's lil solo in Paris Holds The Key, it looks like he's about to ask Anya to dance, but someone else grabs her hand before he can. I’m nope

the projection and lighting design makes it look like the end of Paris takes place on the top of the Eiffel Tower and I am so down with that

again, Christy is FANTASTIC live

honestly, Dowager Empress sounds so broken during Close The Door and I am so not ok

Little Anastasia appears behind the windows during Close The Door and I am so not ok

at the end of the number, the Dowager Empress makes a picture she has of Anastasia face down on the table and I AM SO NOT OK

when the doorman of The Neva Club tells Gleb where to get food HE JUST LOOKS SO OFFENDED LIKE “TF WHO DO YOU THINK I AM”

the choreography of Land Of Yesterday is some goOD STUFF M8

theres a good 5 seconds Lily spends shooing Count Leopold away while she’s dancing

after the instrumental break, everyone except Lily is passed out and the lighting makes it look like morning, which is why she stomps her foot and says “the night’s young”

Vlad just sneaks up and is awkwardly facing outwards in the circle dance thing at the end of Land Of Yesterday

honestly The Countess and The Common Man is a blessing and it’s hilarious

right after they say “when you sent me our sign”, they show what it was (it’s like a super subtle hand gesture). they do it at least 2 more times in the show.

during the instrumental break, they’re both just dancing like crazy and the panting at the end involves them stretching, having cracked backs, and Vlad timing his pulse

the kiss after “until you’re kissed” is SO LONG and they do weird stuff during it, I’m just,,,, nope,,,,,

they kiss like 4 more times before Land Of Yesterday Reprise btw

Gleb watches their last kiss and his face just says “what the hell are you people doing”

also freaKIN LAND OF YESTERDAY REPRISE MAN. RAMIN IS SCARY GOOD AT THIS ROLE.

A Nightmare is actually so chilling like I can’t

it does the same thing with the lighting as Once Upon A December where Anya’s the only one properly lit and everyone else looks like ghosts but just everyone being crowded around Anya instead of gracefully dancing around her seriously sets the tone

ASKDJFLGKD IN A CROWD OF THOUSANDS B Y E

THE BLOCKING IS SO SIMPLE BUT EFFECTIVE

ANYA LEANS IN ON DIMITRY WHEN SHE STARTS SINGING

I SWEAR THEY GET THIS FREAKIN CLOSE TO KISSING AT THE END BEFORE DIMITRY DOES THE “YOUR HIGHNESS” THING AND I AM DEFINITELY NOT OK

Vlad’s being alone during Meant To Be makes it super powerful

also, HELLO QUARTET AT THE BALLET

THE WAY THAT EACH OF THEM STAND UP AND FACE THE CROWD WHILE SINGING MADE IT REALLY FEEL LIKE WE WERE SEEING INTO THEIR THOUGHTS

Gleb like almost pulls out his gun like 3 times I stg

Gleb is also the only person who doesn’t applaud at the end of the ballet. he’s also the only guy not wearing a tux at the ballet. (he basically wears the same outfit the entirety of Act 2 until the Finale) they really make it very clear how out of place he is in Paris.

also the ballet itself was AMAZING. Lyrica, Kyle and James were hella good

I swear I was as stressed out as Dimitry was during Everything To Win and I knew what was gonna happen

right before Once Upon A December reprise, there’s the scene where the Dowager Empress comes into Vlad, Dimitry and Anya’s dressing room and like???? it had some gold comedic timing but was also super serious????? how???????

also Dimitry watching Anya and the Dowager Empress being reunited just breaks my heart??????????

that line in The Press Conference where the guy’s like “we do exclusive interviews”, he legit pays off Vlad to start talking and they like talk off to the side until Lily gets everyone’s attention

there’s a phone on either side of the stage during that scene and the sopranos who do that harmony at “the Princess Anastasia” use them almost as microphones and I’m in love?????

GET. ROASTED. COUNT. LEOPOLD.

during Everything To Win Reprise, Gleb is very clearly closing all the doors behind Anya but like Anya never notices until she turns around

also, when she turns around, it does the song transition as perfectly as it happens in the soundtrack and it’s gr9

idk if it was just this performance, but Gleb sounded a lot more somber and conflicted during the dialogue of Still/The Neva Flows Reprise, but then when the singing starts again, he was honestly terrifying, like Anya was legit backing into a corner

this was something I noticed from the bootlegs, but I’m pretty sure no matter what angle you view it from, Young Anastasia is blocked by the archway during Still/The Neva Flows Reprise while you can very clearly see the rest of the Romanovs. idk I just always found that to be an interesting choice

at the end of Still/The Neva Flows Reprise, GLEB ALMOST PULLS THE TRIGGER ON HIMSELF AND DEAR LORD GLEB THAT GOT DARK FAST

listen,,, every time Dimitry has lifted Anya before,,,,,, she like let out a little squeal of surprise,,, except after they kiss,,,,,,,,,, she’s just staring into his eyes the entire time,,,,,,,,,,,, can y’all believe they invented love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

the Finale was just beautiful ok

especially when the singing starts again and then the Romanovs come on stage around Anya and Dimitry

all around this show was just beautiful and amazing and I cried multiple times

also Zach totally got the loudest applause (I’m pretty sure it was louder than Christy’s tbh) and yes I live for understudy/ensemble appreciation

BONUS ROUND: STAGE DOOR AFTER

Kevin was actually the first person to leave, and a few people recognized him but he just waved and left

NICOLE IS SO SMALL AND ADORABLE

apparently Christy just restocked the candy. time to put Creepy Anya above the candy box again.

John was such a nice dude

Caroline was so bubbly and happy the entire time I love her

BUT CHRISTY FREAKIN ALTOMARE

she took the time to talk to any fan who had something to say to her

like she spent like 5 minutes talking to the people next to me since they apparently all went to the high school she graduated from

and when I talked to her, I told her about how much the soundtrack and Royal Misfits helps me get through the really rough days and and she game me a hug and I’m

not

ok

also Zach came out and everyone was like “DUDE YOU WERE AWESOME AS DIMITRY” and tbh big mood

anyways. thats it from me about Anastasia. except probably not. catch me two weeks later just randomly posting something I loved about the show because it was  r e a l l y  f r e a k i n  g o o d.