#i also already know that uh. some of that fight i wrote earlier is getting rewritten because i'm that not fond of it. it's just kind of meh
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doolallymagpie ¡ 1 year ago
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10k on day 5! give it up for 10k on day 5!
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pholla-jm ¡ 8 months ago
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Tutor Me (2)
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IMAGINE: TUTOR ME X READER PT. 2 FEAT: MEGUMI, YUJI, NOBARA GENRE: FLUFF cw: not proof read. slight cussing- like once i think.
italics means they are speaking in English. a/n: i really tried to get this out on thursday, but work was completely wiping me out!
Here’s part 1 if you haven’t read it!
English Teacher ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Megumi, I need you to tutor me.” 
Megumi turns his head and gives his teacher, Gojo Satoru, a dirty look. I mean, why is a teacher asking their student to tutor them? 
“What do you want?” “I want to learn how to speak English.” Megumi scoffs, already knowing the reason why he wants to learn English. 
“It’s not the reason you think. You know, it’s important that we get along… as co-workers.” 
Megumi just stares at him. Knowing full well that he did not want to get along with the new teacher for the sake of a positive work environment. 
However, he knew that if he denied his wishes of learning English, then Gojo would bother him to no end.
“Fine.” He mutters and Gojo's grin almost splits his face in half. 
So, Megumi spent his whole evening teaching and practicing how to speak English. ******* 
The next morning, Gojo walks into the teacher lounge so confident with a little pack of flashcards in his hand. He was able to spot you easily as you were sitting at a desk, going over some papers then writing something on another sheet of paper. 
Gojo takes a deep breath, going over his flashcards one last time before heading to where you were sitting. 
“Hello.” 
You hear the heavy accent with his ‘hello’ causing you to smile a little. 
Megumi had told you what was going on earlier… and you couldn’t help but find it a bit endearing. And it doesn’t help that Gojo talks about you while you’re in the room. You decided to not tell Gojo that you can in fact speak Japanese. The students knew about this too to make sure they wouldn’t spoil your fun. 
You wanted to see how far Gojo was willing to go, just to talk to you. 
You place the pen down, turning your full attention to him. 
“Hello, you’re Gojo Satoru. Right?” 
Gojo’s eyes widen when he hears you speak his name. He loves how you say his name. “Uh… yes.” “Nice to finally meet you.” 
You stick your hand out for him to shake and he looks at it in confusion. You smile at him then put your hand down, “sorry. I forgot, it’s different here.” 
Gojo blinks at you, trying to process what you said. However, it wasn’t clicking in his head. So he just nods his head and looks down at one of his flashcards. You peer over, trying to see what he has written down. You smile a little seeing a different handwriting in Japanese, and you recognize Megumi’s handwriting in English. 
“What is… your name?” 
You find it funny how blunt he sounds. 
“(L/n) (Y/n). But you can call me (y/n).” You point to yourself while you said (y/n), hoping that he picks up the cue to call you by your first name. 
“(y/n),” he repeated and you nod your head, “what a pretty name.” You had to fight off the growing blush on your face. 
Gojo flips over to the next flashcard. “Eh… how… you do?”
“I’m good, thank you. How are you doing this morning?” 
Gojo hums a little bit while looking down at his flashcards. “What… like do?” 
You tilt your head to the side, wondering what he was asking. You also wondered if he just wrote questions to ask and not any to answer. 
“Can I see those?” You point to the flashcards and his eyes widen for a second. “This?” “Yes.” You hold out your hand, signaling for him to put the flashcards in your hands. 
You could see the hint of nervousness in his eyes, “it’s okay.” 
Gojo places the white flashcards in the palm of your hand, and your suspicions were proved correct. There were only questions on here. 
You peer up at him to see that he had a little pout on his face and he was looking away. You could see the slightest pink on the tips of his ears… and it was honestly cute. 
You look back down at the flashcards and see little notes on how to pronounce things. You could see that he was actually trying which flattered you a bit. This man, who could be quite childish in nature, was trying to learn your language just to talk to you. 
You smile up at him, “did Megumi help you?” Gojo looks at you a bit confused, “Megumi?” He asks. “Yeah,” you hold up the flashcards and he finally gets it. So, he nods his head. 
Suddenly a timer goes off on your phone, signaling that you should be heading over to the classroom. Gojo looks over at your phone, wondering why it was going off. 
You turn off the timer and grab your things, “Time to go to class.” 
You turn back to Gojo, the flashcards still in your hands, “here. Let’s go.” 
Gojo watches you in confusion. He was trying to process the fast words you were speaking and it was honestly giving him a headache. The best way he could describe it, is if he was listening to a SIM character speak really fast. Made no sense, but it meant something. 
You were at the door, and you turned back around to see that Gojo was still standing there.
You wave your hand to motion him to follow you.
That he understood.
Gojo was quick to follow your footsteps. He keeps glancing down at you, wondering what to say. But he didn’t know how to say it in English, and it was quite frustrating to him. 
“Teach me.” He suddenly says, causing you to stop in the hallway. You look up at him, and you can tell that he was being serious about this. 
Gojo Satoru, the all powerful, was putting all of his pride away to ask someone to teach him something. You felt a certain tug in your heart, but you didn’t know exactly what it meant. “Come with me.” 
You continue to head towards the classroom, where your three students were waiting for you. 
Yuji’s head pops up, upon seeing his two teachers. 
“Gojo-sensei what are you doing here?” “What, I can’t be in my own classroom?”
Megumi sighs, and rolls his eyes. 
“It’s English class.” Nobara says. 
You smile at your students, “Students.” You say and Gojo looks over at you in shock. “I want you to meet our new student.” You say and motion over to the desks. 
Yuji starts snickering, and Nobara bursts out laughing. Megumi’s eyes widened hearing this. He didn’t think this would happen. 
“Wait! You could speak Japanese this whole time?!” Gojo asks you and you just shrug. “A little. Now head over to your desk.” 
Gojo scoffs at himself, “a little my ass.” He mutters but you still hear him. “Hey, we won’t use that language in the classroom.” “But it’s my classroom.” “Not right now. It’s mine. And we’re learning English. You’re the one who said who wanted to learn English. Remember?” 
Gojo is stumped because less than two minutes ago, he was telling you to teach him English.
“That’s interesting…” Megumi says, “coming from someone who said that they didn't want to waste their time with English.” “When did I say that? I’m here, learning right now. Aren’t I?... also you're flashcards sucked.”  Megumi just frowns at Gojo, choosing not to engage with him anymore.
"I thought it was adorable."
Gojo walks over to the desk, sitting down next to Yuji with a small smirk on his face. “Plus, I wouldn’t mind someone like you as my teacher.” 
His little comment makes you a bit flustered, but you quickly recover.  “Alright, we’re going to pick up where we left off…” you then start your lesson, hoping that Gojo doesn’t just gaze at you and actually pay attention to your lesson. ~~~~~~~~~~~
Tag list for people who wanted a part 2! @yumii-34 @jotarohat @kuroosluthoe @sakuichan @chilichopsticks @nijinohoshi @cloudjoyous @tobysmokes if you don't feel comfortable being tagged, just let me know and I'll happily remove it!
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genshingorlsrevengeance ¡ 1 year ago
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hello! i was wondering if you still wrote for persona 3, could you do general hc's for minako arisato and her s/o that's also in sees?
(Persona 3) Minako's S/O being in S.E.E.S
I sure do! And as a bonus because I miss writing the Arisato's, there's also Twin!AU HC's added (aka both male and fem MC's are present as siblings)
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Minako cares for S/O greatly. She'd do anything to not have them in harm's way, doubly so considering her line of work.
Shadows were a threat to humanity, but it comforted her at least to know S/O wouldn't be affected by the Midnight Hour.
Until one night, they were still in a human form when it the clock struck midnight.
Her heart nearly stopped when S/O used an evoker, and summoned their own Persona.
And following that, they were asked to join SEES, much to her dismay and relief.
On one hand, it meant that she could keep an eye on them without worrying if they would get caught in collateral damage.
But now she had to worry about S/O getting killed by a Shadow.
The greatest threat however had yet to come:
Meeting the rest of the dysfunctional squad that were the other SEES members.
===
(Junpei) "Hey, you're S/O, right! Minako here just won't shut up about you!"
(Yukari) "Please, you'd be doing the exact same thing if you were in her shoes."
(Minako) "I'm right here, you guys!"
(S/O) "Minako's told me a lot about you all as well! It's a pleasure to finally-"
Aigis examined S/O closely, her irises seemingly changing focus.
(S/O) "...U-Uh-"
(Aigis) "Confirmed. S/O will not be an issue to Minako's safety."
Noticing their confused expression, Minako stepped in, clearing her throat loudly.
(Minako) "Ahah...d-don't mind her. She's a robot."
(S/O) "She's a what?!"
===
If S/O ever got hurt during their operations, Minako would not hesitate to tear the Shadow apart, but knew she had to keep her head cool.
She was the leader, and the rest of the team would crumble if they saw her panic.
Fighting against innate instincts, even in the heat of battle, she tries to not let her emotions dictate her actions.
BONUS: Twin!AU
Minato knows that his sister wouldn't choose anyone to be her significant other lightly, so he doesn't bat too much of an eye.
Normally if a person was trying to hit on her, he'd interfere immediately with a death glare.
He's respectful, but doesn't show much emotion around S/O.
---
(Minako) "S/O, this is my baby brother, Minato!"
(Minato) "We were born at the same time-"
(Minako) "I was born a couple seconds earlier, so I'm the eldest!"
(S/O) "Hah, nice to meet you!"
Minato simply nodded, his face and voice remaining deadpan.
(Minako) "Don't worry, he's usually this emo around everyone too!"
(Minato) "And she's usually this annoying every day. Though you already knew that, considering you're with her."
(S/O) "Heh, I sure do!"
Minako pouts at the both of them.
(Minako) "Don't call me annoying! And YOU especially shouldn't be agreeing with him!"
---
Minato eventually lets his walls come down around S/O, showing a bit more emotion whenever his sister isn't in the room.
It's usually a gentle smile or an extremely quiet chuckle, but it's a sign of trust.
If his sister trusts them, then he can too.
In battle, Minato makes sure to watch over them for Minako's sake whenever she can't join the team.
He knows it'll give her peace of mind. It'll also shut her up too.
(Minato) "If you ever need some help, don't be afraid to call for me too."
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asknarashikari ¡ 2 years ago
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Okay, I like episode 36 overall. (Basically everything OTHER than Buffa was written in this episode actually) But there is ONE specific glaring issue
https://www.tumblr.com/ultrariderfiretornado/717436568086986752I know that I said all this like several days ago or whatnot…? And I do think I prove a valid point and reasoning. (It wasn’t how Buffa’s actions were justified, NONONONO! It was how Buffa’s character has been written in a way that for consistent and reasonable for the most part IMO pre-episode 36 and that I believed the structure Takahashi was using could work this time when it was handled differently.)
But when episode 36 came out…? Uh, yeah… I kinda take back a portion on what I just said earlier on my hopes now that the writing for Buffa in this episode had betrayed my expectations. Looks like Mr. Takahashi is using this writing structure for some of his villains the way he always did. You’re right, Ms. Kari, the writing is clearly trying to redeem Azuma, not only when he didn’t deserve to, but when the show DIDN’T need to. I mean yeah… I still stand by my belief on how Azuma eventually also hating the DGP reasonably lines up with his already established hatred for the riders (Unlike George who was still under Fenix in the late 10s-20s and was still a stagnant and didn’t learn shit, Azuma was now working along with the Jyamato and he eventually LEARNED more about the DGP over time. It didn’t change Azuma’s beliefs one bit about the riders, but the DGP naturally became another enemy, being responsible for the competition between riders to begin with and by an extension Toru’s death).I will stand by my belief how the “protagonist and detestable enemy teaming up against a bigger threat” COULD’VE (emphasis on the past tense because episode 36 just happened) worked, if they tweaked it. Like there’s definitely a POSSIBILITY this structure could’ve worked without acting as a “redemption arc” for the asshole villain, like this alliance could’ve worked as long as it was TEMPORARY and they would’ve gotten back to fighting after the bigger threat was gotten rid of. This IS possible, I just don’t get why the writer wouldn’t think of using this structure this way.I will stand by the belief that Azuma’s actions and intents are not justified at all, just like with Gai and Kuroto, two other Kamen Rider villains that Takahashi also wrote. With one of these fuckers actually got some kind of punishment- oh right, I’ll get to that for Azuma much much later.
But the way Azuma was fucking written in episode 36 was just… Yeah, in my opinion, this is where they really start to contradict how this character has been established and built up in all the episodes prior to 36. Like really… REALLY?! Not only did Takahashi went with his usual redemption arc with this structure instead of something different (let alone a complete different take on this structure) for Buffa when he didn’t need nor deserved it, this episode… actually had the gall.. to JUSTIFY Azuma’s actions. Like why? Why Takahashi? Why are you “justifying” Azuma’s prejudice and killing the riders was to save them? That was never established from beforehand, not from the start and not from any build up! I also did not like how Ace is written to speculate that Azuma’s actions was justified and that there was any “remaining good” within him. Come on Takahashi, let Buffa and Geats have their ultimate final battle as true enemies or whatnot! Why are you trying to redeem a character that did not need nor deserved to redeem and why did you think justifying his horrid actions was a good idea?! It feels like a retcon just like with George and his character shift back in Revice! Are all kids that stupid to believe this?
Oh and speaking of kids… Yes, Kamen Rider is more than just a kids show. Both an older audience and younger audience can enjoy it, in a way, it can be perceived as a “family show”. (Although that may sound like an understatement and may not be the accurate term) From the surface level like suits, actions, the toys to dramatic and emotional moments, deeper themes and morals. But besides the point, when it comes to asshole characters…regardless of whether you’re trying to redeem them or not, is it EVER right to try to justify their actions? Or worse… considering what happened with Gai in Zero-One or George from Revice, let these assholes completely get away with their sins scot-free and ignore the despicable fuckery never happened?!Shouldn’t the writer be teaching the fucking kids that if you do something horrible or beyond forgiving such as murder in cold-blood or sacrifice others for your own goals, that they should and could get PUNISHED for this and deserve to be angrily reprimanded and called out for these crimes against humanity?! What is it with the Reiwa Era mostly afraid of teaching the kids that wrongdoers naturally deserve their punishment, their karma, for their actions and that they shouldn’t get away with it scot-free?!Like at least the first time Takahashi used the same structure for Kuroto’s “redemption” (the term is very debatable for his case), Kuroto actually got some form of punishments that I talked about if you read the link on the first paragraph, from being reigned in by Poppy using the bugvisor for his behavior to, by the authority of the health ministry, officially AND legally placed into permanent custody or house arrest in the CPR in his very own digital prison where he can be used to their advantage. But then the second time Takahashi used this structure, it was worse. Given the mostly real world setting Zero-One took place in, Gai SHOULD’VE gotten punished for his various crimes. Like there are so many charges that could’ve legally been pressed against Gai and Gai should’ve been incarcerated for his actions.But now the third time Takahashi used this structure again, in the same (for the most part) way he did for Kuroto and Gai, it feels like it’s going to be even worse than with Kuroto (who got punished and his character didn’t completely change for the “better”) and Gai (who really didn’t punished from what I recall)…Why do I say the third time would somehow be worse (especially how episode 36 handled the character)…it’s due to the SETTING of Kamen Rider Geats. Like I think Azuma deserves comeuppance for his sins, but given how the DGP works, the laws of the real world DON’T apply like with Ex-Aid or Zero-One, the DGP is exempt from all this. What’s worse is that Azuma would just lose his memories and live a memory if he was just retired, effectively getting away from it all undeservingly. The setting is another huge reason why I don’t believe Azuma getting a redemption would work for Kamen Rider Geats, he’ll just blissfully get away with it all scot-free. The setting doesn’t work in Kamen Rider Geat’s favor when it comes to using this same structure (or any structure) as a redemption arc for Buffa.
Oh boy…I think I’ve said enough. I feel like the same way the writer has been using this structure as a redemption has actually, dare I say, worsened over the years. It didn’t quite the second time, it’s clearly not working the third time. But since episode 36 just happened, it’s too late, all we can do is watch the fire spread as Azuma’s character deteriorates for the worse as the show progresses starting from this point.(At least then, we’ll just pay may attention to the other cast members for now that are actually written better.)PS: I hope I actually explained this fine and that anyone gets the point on what I’m saying. It’s not to change anyone’s beliefs, I’m just sharing what makes sense to me.
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queers-gambit ¡ 2 years ago
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Here's an idea that I thought was interesting. Can I get something for billy getting together with his s/o right before his "date" with mrs.wheeler. and while she's relieved that he didn't show up to the date she's also a really salty that Billy's giving someone else attention and not her
hot, hot, hot. your mind? incredible. i'm also trying to thin out requests!! look at me go!!
Mommy Issues
pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Stranger Things
word count: 3.1k+
note: i think i burnt out towards the end of this, so, my apologies. plus i wrote this and only gave it a once over so forgive any typos or mistakes.
warnings: cursing, small angst, small comfort, Billy's a dumb boy doing dumb boy shit, reader has emotions, insinuation to unhealthy relationships (both romantic and familial).
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"Where's Billy tonight, honey?" You mother asked, setting your dinner plate in front of you; your body turned to the side to feed your baby twin brothers from their plate of potatoes and peas with applesauce.
"Oh, uh, thank you," you nodded at her, glancing at the full plate your stomach was growling in approval of. "And honestly? I don't know, we got in this fight this morning, he started to act out, and I haven't talked to him since."
She sighed pointedly, "What was the fight about this time?"
You shrugged, feeding a bit of mashed potatoes in the mouth of your baby brother. "Nothing specific," You sighed, not wanting to entertain the conversation any longer. You knew your parents just searched for ways to beat Billy down, belittle your relationship, and you weren't going to be the reason they add fuel to that fire.
"Mhm," she eyed you while she hummed before sighing. "Well, you know you're much too young to deal with this kind of heartache, but you don't like listening to anything your father and I have to say about it. Speaking of which, I have to work the night shift again tonight, and Daddy's gonna be a little late coming home, okay?" She pet over one twins' head, then turned her sights on you, "So, you're gonna babysit until 11, when your father gets in."
You sighed, noting the way she told you instead of asking you; figuring it wasn't all bad before nodding stiffly, "Okay, Mom."
She nodded and set the dishes in the sink, moving along to finish getting ready before rushing in to kiss all of your foreheads and then dart out the door. You pushed some of the Mac 'N' Cheese around your plate, chasing the green beans with your fork, lost in your thoughts while your brothers honestly just played in their apple sauce. You didn't care enough to stop them because you were reliving your fight with Billy...
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• nine hours earlier // 9:12 am •
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"You're still on that?" Billy scoffed, leaning on the sign-in desk at the front office of the public Hawkins Community Pool. His hand was planted next to you, weight leaning on his hip, but his eyes were raking over you in judgement.
"Billy," you groaned, rolling your eyes. It was common for you to go to work with Billy when he was the only one on call to open the pool; meaning nobody came in till the afternoon when kids were arriving in larger numbers for the long summer day.
"What?" He snapped, standing up straight to stare at you then. It wasn't a glare, yet, but still, very intimidating. "You wanna bring it up, let's fucking talk about it."
When his arms crossed, you know it wasn't going to be a conversation and that his mind was already made up - yet, still, you tried.
"All I asked was if Mrs. Wheeler and her band of middle aged ladies were still making come-fuck-me-eyes at you?" You sighed, rolling your neck out as your legs swung deftly from the countertop.
"What does it matter?"
"Maybe I'm uncomfortable with it," you admitted with a sheepish shrug.
"Baby," Billy sighed.
"No, seriously," you argued, "it's not cool that they're flirting with you like that - knowing you have a girlfriend, and especially when that girlfriend comes to see you at work," you felt your eyes roll without your vocation. "Then it's right in front of my face, Billy, that's really not cool!"
"Okay, but I'm not doing anything with or to them, so, doesn't that count for something?"
"Not when they're always thirsting over you!"
"But I don't do shit - "
"Well, you don't tell them to stop, either!"
Billy full-on laughed at you, "You really that insecure? I thought I was dating the untouchable, un-fuck-wit'-able queen bee of Hawkins?"
Your glare solidified, "It just makes me uncomfortable, I didn't say I was insecure about it."
"You obviously are if you're worried about them!"
"Why can't you just respect this!?" You snapped. "Seriously, Billy! I put up with more than enough from you, but your current Mommy issues shouldn't be my burden to bare this heavily! So, I'm telling you, as your girlfriend, their incessant flirting is making my skin crawl."
"What do you want me to do exactly?" Billy snarled.
"Something! Anything! Maybe I want you to want to do something about it!"
"What makes you think I want to do something about it, though?"
"Why're you being so Goddamn stubborn?" You finally snapped, feeling desperate; chest ready to cave in from anxiety.
"Because you're so Goddamn sensitive!"
"Why does it make me sensitive when women twice our age are flirting with you!? For fuck's sake, sometimes even in front of me! How is that supposed to make me feel, Billy!?"
A throat cleared behind you, making Billy's eyes flash over your shoulder and steel - just like his jaw. You hopped off the counter and turned swiftly on your toes, spying Mrs. Wheeler, and Holly, standing there, both looking nervous for some reason.
You gulped and avoided both their eyes, feeling your own burn with frustrated tears. Billy huffed a bit and pushed the clipboard up to the ledge to let Karen sign in, the two hustling along quickly after that. They were only the beginning of a long line, making Billy mutter in your ear, "Keep your fucking voice down when I'm at work."
"Are you going to take me seriously?"
"Not likely, because you're upset about nothing," he rolled his eyes, moving towards the exit so he could take the lifeguard post; leaving you to man the front desk until Heather got there. How you got roped into this, you weren't sure, but luckily, the brunette girl was hustling through the door within a minute, and you were shuffling off to the locker rooms there after - fighting off tears the entire time.
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• five hours earlier // 1:42 pm •
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You swore he was doing it to piss you off now, as if strutting around, winking at those women, making flirty comments in passing, wasn't bad enough; but now he was full-on flirting with Mrs. Wheeler? To her face?
You watched their 'private' conversation, and how he bent with her to grab her towel when she dropped it out of shock from whatever came from his lips. You felt anger brewing to a new height and the level of disrespect was now astronomical that you wasted no time in shoulder your bag after shimmying only into your shorts, following Billy's retreating form to the office again.
"What the fuck is your issue?" You growled at Billy when you made it to the counter. The only thing between you both.
"What're you complaining about now? Fuck, you on your period or something?"
"Seriously? God, you're such an asshole trying to blame your bad behavior on my bodily function! Billy, what were you and Karen gettin' all cozy about?" You snapped, annoyed by his attitude.
"Maybe I asked her out, maybe I just like making a grown woman get all flustered, or maybe, just maybe, doll," he leaned over the counter to get in your face, lowering his tone to a sneer, "it's none of your Goddamn business. Hmm?"
"You're fucking pathetic," you sighed sadly, turning on your heel and storming away.
"Where're you goin'!?" He called after you. "Hey! I'm talkin' to you!"
You offered him the middle finger salute as you stormed through the office and out the doors - making a beeline for your car, and then slamming the door shut. You saw Billy pushing out of the doors from your rearview mirror as you pulled out of your parking spot, tears free-falling down your cheeks at a rapid pace.
"HEY!" Billy shouted at your car, but otherwise slowed his gait. You peeled out of the parking lot, and when you got home, you were instantly overwhelmed by your emotions that you let your sun-soaked-being coax you into a warm, slumbering nap.
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• present // 6:43 pm •
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And now? Now you were elbow deep in twin boys' dirty diapers, wondering when you became their mother, and letting your anger fester. But you didn't have time to dwell, your baby brothers needed your attention now, and you knew they wouldn't get it from your mother or father...
After cleaning up their diapers, you got them in their baths; then into fresh jammies, and down in their cribs with their blankets and stuffies all around them. You drug the rocking chair over their carpeted floor to then read them a story; rocking slowly as you read through a chapter of The Fellowship of the Ring.
Hey, they were babies, they didn't know what was happening; and they fell asleep faster if you read! Normally, it took about four to five Dr. Seuss books, but only about a chapter from an actual novel for them to knock out. When you were done, you realized it was well after 7 pm now, and you figured you'd get some work done.
After turning their baby monitor on, taking the paired monitor with you, then making your way to the kitchen again. After cleaning up the dishes and countertops, you settled the leftovers in the fridge before grabbing a pudding cup and making yourself comfortable on the couch. After flipping through a few channels, you settled on the local news broadcast, polishing off your dessert, and sighing sadly into the pillow you kept to your chest.
Sometimes around 8:15 pm, your doorbell rang, and a fist was then pounding into the wooden door - making you spring to attention and rush through the foyer. Without glancing through the window, you wrenched the door open, snarling, "You outta your mind!?"
"Hello to you, too, pretty girl," Billy smirked.
"Fuck's sake, Hargrove!"
"You still mad?"
"No - this is a new anger! I just put the boys down for the night, can you not be so much of a jackass that you wake them up!?"
Billy sighed, "All right, I uh... I deserved that."
You glared, "What're you doing here?"
"Can I come in?"
"No, 'cause I can't promise I'm not gonna yell at you," you snipped, pushing him back a step to let you shuffle into the sandals at your door; then out the door, shutting it behind you. "What?" You asked, arms crossed, showing him you were just as defensive as he was earlier.
"Baby, listen," he sighed, "I thought about it all and realized you were right. Really pissed me off with that 'Mommy issues' comment, but I realized you're right."
"About?"
"I was projecting some issues, and while I wasn't exactly doin' anything, I didn't tell those old ladies off. And..."
"And?" He sighed, rolling his neck out. But before he could, you eyed him up and down, asking, "Where were you going tonight?"
"Huh?"
"Tonight - where were you going? Before you showed up here? Why're you dressed up, and - " You stepped forward a bit and inhaled sharply, "mhm, thought I smelled it - you have your good cologne on!"
"Baby," he sighed in exasperation now. "I gotta admit something... And you're not gonna be happy about it."
"Hmm? What?"
"I made a date with Karen tonight," he sighed.
"Woah - woah - woah! You did what now?"
"Hang on," he begged, "just listen to me for a second, please. I was feeling spiteful and resentful, so, yeah, I fucked up, and I wanted to see how far she'd go... I think pushed too far."
"How far exactly did you push, Billy?"
"Got as far as to inviting her for... Private swim lessons tonight..."
"What? Where?"
"The motel... Off the highway?"
"Are you asking me or telling me? And you were gonna take her to where you and I used to meet up because my Daddy didn't like you, huh? Wow, nicely done. Why are you even telling me?”
“Because I can’t have secrets between us, and I feel really guilty.” Well, you weren’t expecting that answer; readjusting your defensive positioning. In turn, Billy shifted his weight, "Yeah, baby, look, listen to me, please, I know you must be feeling a lot right now, but I didn't show up there."
"Oh, so I should praise you right now? For doing the one thing you're not supposed to do in a relationship!?"
"No! Fuck," he sighed, looking annoyed for a moment as he ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, look - "
"No, I think you should go now."
"I'm not leavin' here till we work this out," he refused. "Doll, listen to me - "
"No, you listen. My boyfriend decided to prolong a fight, knowing I was uncomfortable, and then what? Wanted to rub in my face that he's still a hot piece of ass that can bag a woman in her 40's? Maybe even her 50's, but whatever," your eyes rolled.
"I know I fucked up - "
"Understatement," you crossed your arms tighter, cocking your head to readjust your glare on him.
"But look - I didn't show up. I came here, because this," he gestured between us, "means more to me than anything. Alright? You can choose what to believe, but the truth is, I could've easily showed up there, done things with her, never speak a word about it, but I came here because you mean more to me than anyone else. In this town, in my life, anywhere - it's you, baby. So, you take your time to figure out what you feel, but I still want you, and only you. These other women be damned. So," he sighed, your eyes refusing to meet his as tears surfaced, "I'll leave you to it, but just know, I'm so fucking sorry."
Truth was, you hardly ever heard Billy apologize for anything and knew he felt real guilt over this whole thing.
When Billy sighed and turned to head off your porch, you reached out to grab his wrist - but still couldn't meet his eyes when he turned back to look at you. "I... I don't want you to go," you admitted meekly. "Look, it felt like you were looking for reasons to give the attention that you usually pay me to anyone else who even so much as blinked at you, and I hate that, because, the truth is, I hate saying it, but I want you to only pay me attention. I've spent all day being angry and in my feelings, that now, I don't want to be alone, and I want to spend time with my boyfriend... But I'm still mad at you."
You heard Billy sigh and turn to face you directly, stepping closer to slide his hands around your waist. "Baby, you gotta know how sorry I am."
"Well, I'm sorry for my part - "
"No, don't do that," he sighed, tucking you further into his chest as you deflated slightly into the meat of his pectoral. "Don't apologize when you didn't do nothing but have feelings about whatever fuck-shit I was doing."
You sighed and let your arms slowly wrap around his waist, "You know I hate it when you do stupid shit like this."
"I know, and I'm really sorry," he sighed, tightening his hold when he felt your returned grip. "I got sensitive when you said I had Mommy issues, and you... You might be right," he sighed before kissing the top of your head. "Got defensive, got all hurt, and I think I just wanted to hurt you, too."
"That's not healthy..." You let go to gently pull from his grip, "Look, Bee, maybe this isn't healthy anymore. I-I don't know if it ever was, but right now, if you're looking for reasons and ways to hurt me, maybe that's a sign we're not loving each other the way we should."
"No, no, hey, don't say that, hey," Billy stepped back up, taking your cheeks in hand, "I love you more than anything. Okay? You hear me? I love you, baby, and I'm not goin' anywhere. But I'm gonna do better, I promise, this isn't gonna be us anymore because you deserve so much better... I'll do better."
You sighed slightly, "Bee..."
"C'mon, baby, don't do this - not right now. Look, we're both feeling emotional, and I just - I know I just broke your heart with my stupidity, but let me try to make this right. C'mon, please."
Never had you heard him say 'please' so often - knowing Billy wasn't the one to beg for anything. Except maybe pussy, but that was another matter entirely.
Before you could reply, the baby monitor started to blare with your twin brothers waking up - wailing - and making your head turn back to the house. You sighed lightly, looking back at your boyfriend, "If you take George, I can take Phillip."
"Whatever you need, doll," he promised, pausing your form to press his lips to your forehead. "I'm really sorry."
"I know you are," you assured softly, taking his hand and lacing your fingers together to lead into your house. Within 10 minutes, Billy was standing with George and Phillip in his arms; the babies both reaching their grabby hands into his long, curly locks, but they had stopped crying finally.
You smiled softly as you got new jammies together, the boys apparently soiling their old ones after the applesauce disagreed with their little tummies. And Billy, well... Billy was all too happy to bounce the boys on his hips, looking far too mundane for your comfort for just a hot second. When you were ready, he helped you get them both changed and comfy again before picking up George and rocking him while rubbing his back - mimicking what you were doing with Phillip.
And to your shock?
He took a seat on the rocking chair and eased you into his lap, listening as you read aloud another two chapters before the boys finally settled. And the moment they were asleep again, he was lifting you in his arms, standing, and easing the two of you from the room. You dropped your book in your room before you were both settled on the couch; Billy sitting upright in the corner, letting you lay on him, the TV illuminating flashes of light across you both.
Both his hands stayed on you, running along your flesh in an effort to keep you close. And during the commercials, his lips would find bits of your flesh, until slowly, you were dozing in his arms.
Turns out, by the time your father got home at 11:37 pm, both you and Billy were asleep on the couch; him laying flat with you nuzzled between his body and the back cushions. "Ah, hell," you Daddy sighed softly to himself, offering a soft smile. "That boy, mh-mh-mh, God love 'em," he chuckled lightly, locking the door, and turning the kitchen light out on his way upstairs to his room.
He figured any other time, he'd wake Billy and tell him to get gone, but tonight was long for everyone, and so long as the boy was gone before your mother got home - it would all be fine.
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skyeet-the-writer ¡ 4 years ago
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The Love Among Us
Chapter 1-- I’d Never Snitch On Daddy
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so i haven’t seen many corpse husband x reader stories on here, so i decided to upload one myself. i’ve been watching jacksepticeye’s among us videos and when i heard corpse talk for the first time, i was like, “hol up” and now i’ve been obsessed with him. also, go stream his music on spotify, it’s amazing. enjoy! x. 
 corpse husband x female!reader
summary: while playing among us, y/n watches corpse kill felix in o2. when his body is reported, however, she doesn’t tell who killed him. 
 word count: ~3.6k
warnings: swearing, mentions of death (not real death), mentions of murder (not real murder)
EDIT: before i wrote this and after i published it, i did not know that corpse did not like to be referred to as “daddy”. had i known this, i would have not even thought of posting this. and since i know now, i won’t refer to him as such in the future. thank you. (10/19/2020)
EDIT 2: this is the first part to my corpse x reader series. i will be adding chapters as we go!
next>
4 rounds before the incident
“I was in coms with PJ!” Sean exclaims. 
“He is doing the liar voice!” Felix shouts with a laugh. 
“I’m not,” Sean tries to say, but everyone talks over him and the voting time ends. Everyone left alive, though it was only four people, had all voted for him and he yells at them as he gets ejected. 
stinky was not the imposter
2 imposters remain
The round ends and everyone unmutes themselves. 
“Lizzie, you saw Felix kill me and you did nothing!” Roomie yells as soon as the round ends and the imposters are revealed. 
“Yeah, because I was the other imposter.”
“Oh. Okay, well that makes sense.”
Everyone laughs and Ken starts the round again. 
“Wait, can I invite y/n to play? She’s doing her twenty-four-hour stream and she just finished playing Monopoly with Mark, Bob, and Wade,” says Lizzie, looking down at her phone as they all appear back in the waiting room. 
“Yes,” Corpse blurts out and there are a few laughs and chuckles. 
“You were quick to answer, Corpse,” Sean teases. 
“Shut up,” Corpse mumbles and there are even more laughs. 
Lizzie smiles and taps into her phone. “I’m gonna invite her.”
~
“I can’t believe that you actually made that deal, y/n,” Wade is telling you after ending the second round of Monopoly that you’ve played with them. 
You smile and cross your legs on your chair. “Look, I was going bankrupt and it seemed good at the time. Besides, Mark was going to win anyway, he owned half of the board.” Your phone buzzes beside you on your desk and you pick it up. “Lizzie texted me.” There’s a sound effect that plays in your headset and you look up at your screen and smile. “Thanks to _lorieplays _for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot. Thank you so much.”
“Do you want to play another round?” Marks asks. 
You shake your head, reading the text from your friend in England. “No, I don’t want to lose to you again.” You laugh. “Nah, Lizzie wants me to play Among Us with her and a few others. It was fun playing with you guys.”
“It was even though you took all of my money,” Bob snaps. 
You laugh. “Yeah, yeah. See you guys later.”
“Bye,” says Mark.
“See y--” Wade begins but you cut him off when you disconnect from the call. 
“Oops.” You put a hand over your mouth and laugh. “Sorry, Wade. Okay.” You straighten up and glance over everything, making sure it’s all working properly. “I have to pee and I think my roommate ordered pizza, so we’ll be back after this short break. Enjoy this live feed of my pet rats.” You giggle and switch the stream over to a view of your two rats in their cage where you have a camera set up. You take your headset off and head out of your recording room. 
Every two months, you have a twenty-four-hour livestream where you play games with your friends from all around the world. Despite being only twenty-five, your Youtube channel had grown exponentially in the past three years and you’ve had the chance to meet lots of other Youtubers like Markiplier, PewDiePie, and your close friend, LDShadowLady. 
Currently, you’re on hour twenty of twenty-four and you’re beginning to feel the effects of not sleeping for a whole day. You had been drinking coffee and energy drinks for the past four hours and that seemed to perk you up for two hours max. But your roommate had ordered pizza and that would hopefully wake you up. 
After going to the bathroom and grabbing an entire box of pizza, you return to your recording room and sit down. You put your headset back on and eat a slice of pizza before switching the views back to you. “And we’re back. I hope you guys enjoyed my rats because I don’t. They keep me up at night.”
You read a comment while loading up Among Us and laugh. “No, they’re not dead. They’re sleeping. They do that a lot when they’re not fighting.” 
When you finally get into the game and entire the code, you spawn in. You also quickly join the Discord chat and wince when nearly ten voices hit you at once. 
“y/n!” exclaims Lizzie and the other voices die down for a moment before rising to greet you. 
You wince again but laugh. “Jesus, you guys are loud. Hey, Lizzie.” You move your character to the customize tab and go to try and switch your color. But then you frown and realize that you’re stuck with being dark blue. “Damn, I wanted to be white.”
“Do you want to switch?” Corpse asks. 
Your eyes widen you your stomach flips. You hadn’t noticed Corpse was in this game. Immediately, your chat became flooded with keyboard smashing and lots of “omg my shipp” and “y/n rlly said ‘anna oop-’” 
“Uh, yeah, if you don’t mind,” you manage to stutter out and take a bite of pizza as Corpse’s player comes over and the white option becomes available. You select it and also select the goggles in the hats menu. 
“How’s your stream going?” asks Sean. 
You shrug. “Pretty good. I’m super tired, though. I literally almost fell asleep while playing Monopoly with Mark, Wade, and Bob.”
“You went to college, right?” You’re pretty sure that’s Roomie. 
“Yep,” you affirm with a nod even though they can’t see you. “You’d think that those all-nighters writing papers and studying for finals would make me able to do this.”
There’s a laugh in the group and the round starts.
3 rounds before the incident
You scratch your eyebrow and sigh in relief when you’re the crewmate. You mute yourself and slide up in your chair. 
“I like being the crewmate,” you say, heading towards admin as a habit. “It’s a lot less stressful than being imposter.”
After doing your tasks in admin and fueling the engines, you stumble across a dead body in the lower engine and a vent closing. 
“Oh,” you say, and press the report button. You unmute yourself and begin with, “So I saw a vent close but I didn’t see who went in.”
“Who died?” asks Lizzie. 
“Felix,” says Sean. 
You smirk. “It’s always yellow that dies first.”
“Where was the body?” Ken asks. 
“Lower engine,” you reply. 
“I was in medbay with Corpse doing the scan so it wasn’t him,” PJ says and Corpse makes a noise of confirmation. 
This makes your cheeks heat up and you smack a hand over your mouth. Your chat explodes again but you decide to ignore it. 
“And I was doing wires in cafeteria,” Lizzie says. 
“Sean, where were you?” 
“I was in reactor doing the simon says thing,” he answers. 
You sigh. “I hate that one. What about you, Ken?”
“I was with Roomie in electrical doing the power thing. You know, the one where you have to divert it somewhere else.”
“So do we skip then?” asks Lizzie. 
“No one is super sus, so I’m going to skip,” you answer. 
When no one is ejected, you mute yourself again. “I dunno why, but Sean seems pretty sus. Because I didn’t see him on the way down from upper engine. But I guess he could have gotten there in time.” You shrug and run over to the trash chute in the cafeteria. “RIP to Felix, though.”
After doing the trash there, you head down to storage, running into Corpse doing the wires in there. You wait there to clear him and once you do, you run a few circles around him to get his attention and he follows you over to the trash in storage and watches you do that. After that, the two of you head over to electric together and do wires there. 
Suddenly, there’s a body reported and you unmute yourself. 
“Sean just killed Lizzie in front of me!” exclaims PJ. 
“PJ killed Lizzie,” Sean retorts, flipping the blame. “I watched it, he didn’t realize I was there and murdered her.”
“I watched PJ do the scan in medbay, he’s cleared,” Corpse says and you find yourself smiling for no reason. “Sean, you killed Lizzie.”
“I knew he was sus,” you say, grabbing another piece of pizza. You look at the box and your eyes widen. Had you really already eaten half of it?
“Wait wait, how am I sus?” Sean asks. 
You take a moment to swallow. “Because when I was doing fuel earlier, I was running down from upper engine and didn’t see you in reactor. Sure, maybe you could have gotten there earlier, but it was super weird.” 
The discussion time ends and PJ immediately goes to vote for Sean as well as you, Corpse, and everyone else still alive. Sean ends up getting ejected. 
stinky was an imposter 
1 imposter remains
“You’re such a detective, y/n,” Sean says when he gets ejected. 
You laugh. “I just play this game too much.” You then mute yourself and smile. “I am a genius.” 
You end up finishing your tasks quickly after that and then stand in the cafeteria and eat another piece of pizza and read some of the chat. 
“’ What am I going to do after this?’ I don’t know. I might play some Minecraft. Should I have a poll on Twitter? I’m stuck between public Among Us games, Minecraft, and taking random quizzes on Buzzfeed.” You smile and hear another sound effect and something pops up on the screen. “Thank you to coochie man for donating a hundred dollars, that means a lot.” You laugh at their name. “I love your name, by the way.” 
There’s some rattling in the cage behind you and you turn around to see one of your rats drinking water. You turn back to the chat and read another comment. “’ Do you have a crush on Corpse?’” You blush and smile, biting your lip. “I mean, his voice is hot. I’ve never met him since he lives in San Diego and I live in h/t, but yeah, I guess I do. I’ve been listening to his music for the past few days and it’s really good, you guys should go check it out.”
You look up and unmute yourself when a body is reported. “Who died?” you ask. “I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Are you already done with your tasks, y/n?” Corpse asks. 
God, even the way he says your name is making you blush. “Yeah, I get them done quick.”
“She does that,” says Lizzie, “She always gets her tasks done quick.”
“Ken is dead by the way,” says Roomie and your snort, smacking a hand over your mouth. “I found him in the hallway by navigation. Where was everyone else?”
“I was in cafeteria doing nothing,” you say, leaning back in your chair and spinning around just a little. “I think I saw PJ downloading while I was in there, but I wasn’t paying attention.”
“Yeah, I was downloading,” says Ken. 
After more discussion, Corpse points out that Jaiden had been following him and it looked like she had been faking tasks. 
“No I haven’t,” she says. 
“That sounds like something the imposter would say,” you hum with a smirk. “That’s pretty sus, Jaiden.”
Everyone else agrees and you all end up voting Jaiden out. 
jaiden was the imposter
0 imposters remain
You cheer as the round ends and a blue victory screen pops up for the crewmates. “Good game, guys,” you say and play again, waiting for the host. 
~
1 round before the incident 
“Oh my god, I’m imposter again?” you groan and sigh when you spawn back in. “I was just imposter, I don’t want to be it again. I’m so bad at it,”
After another short round of you and Felix losing to the crewmates, you all agreed to play two more rounds before Sean had to leave. So you move your character to admin where PJ is and fake the card swipe before moving over to the admin security thing where you could see who was around where. Luckily, no one appeared to be near admin, so you quickly kill PJ and escape through the vent and come out through medbay. 
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god,” you whisper over and over, running down to storage. “That was clean.” You fake getting fuel and go back up to the upper engine. 
When PJ’s body is reported, you see that your fellow imposter, Sean, had reported it. You stay silent for most of the round and only say that you were in the fuel area when it was reported. 
“Yeah, I saw her run past electrical earlier,” Corpse says. You blush and glance at your exploding chat and shake your head. 
After everyone skips the round, you mute yourself once more and head towards navigation. “I hate this.” You drag the last syllable and watch Lizzie enter the room. You wait a moment before walking towards her and killing her, jumping into one of the vents. You let out a sigh and flex your fingers. “I’m so stressed.” You exit out of the vent into shields and your heart stops when you see someone else in there but you realize that it’s the other imposter, Sean, and you relax. 
You run past him and go to the trash compartments and pretend to unload those. And that’s how the rest of the round goes. You kill someone, someone reports it and you vote someone off. Eventually, you and Sean do a double kill and end up winning the round.
You unmute yourself. 
“Let’s go!” Sean exclaims and you smile. 
“I can’t believe you killed me, y/n!” shouts Lizzie. “I thought we were friends.”
You laugh. “There are no friends in this game. I’m not loyal to anyone in this game. You could be my best friend and I would fucking murder you.”
“That’s cold,” says Roomie as everyone else spawns back in. 
“Yeah,” you nod. 
“Wait, PJ disconnected,” says Sean, and you all end up waiting for him to rejoin. 
In that time, you look at your chat and say, “Hey, do you guys have any questions for who I’m playing with. I’m asking you, chat.”
“I swear if someone asks about my hands, I’m leaving,” Corpse says and everyone laughs. 
You laugh louder when you read a comment and read it aloud, “_Ironlady _says that you should be a hand model, Corpse.”
“Okay, I’m leaving,” you hear Corpse say over everyone laughing. 
“No, stay!” you exclaim, trying not to laugh. “C’mon, don’t leave.”
He sighs deeply and your brain goes fuzzy. “Fine. I’ll stay for you.”
You beam and your tummy turns. You ignore the whistles and remarks from everyone else and stand beside Corpse. You suddenly wish that the little bean characters could hold hands. 
When PJ joins the server again, Ken starts the round and you cross your fingers, hoping to get crewmate. 
0 rounds before the incident
You mute yourself and sigh when you’re a crewmate. “Thank god.” You let out a breath and go over to admin with everyone else. You swipe your card and go to the cafeteria to do some wires there. 
The game turns out to be rather uneventful. A few people die and two people are voted off before the game gets truly interesting. And that happens when you walk in on Corpse and Felix. 
“I’ve had this song stuck in my head for days,” you’re saying, walking from electrical over to O2. “And I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe singing it will help.” You hum the first part. “Don't go in there, you'll become one. Freaky creatures, monster party. Eyes of yellow, scales and feathers, tails in tethers. Turn the lights off. Bend the nightmare, you control it. Artful dodger, easy does it. Shut the closet, get under the covers. Snakes and lovers. Turn the lights off.” You do a little dance for a moment and continue hum the song, glancing at the chat as you go towards O2 after doing wires in storage. 
“Like, I know the song, it’s just been stuck in my head,” you explain. “And it kind of annoys me--”
But you stop as you enter O2 and watch Corpse murder Felix. Neither one of you move and you don’t know what to do. “Uhhh.” 
Then, without thinking, you turn straight around and make your way away from the scene of the murder. “I didn’t see anything!” you shout to no one. “I suddenly can’t see who murdered Felix.” You smack a hand over your mouth and stand in the middle of a hallway. “Oh my god, what do I do? I don’t want to snitch on Corpse, he’s hot.” You scratch the back of your neck and shrug, continuing on to reactor. “I didn’t see anything.”
You’re in the middle of doing the simon says in reactor when Felix’s body is reported. You unmute yourself and fidget with the sleeve of your hoodie. You know exactly who killed Felix. 
“--was in O2,” says Jaiden and you focus back into the conversation. “And I didn’t see anyone around.”
“I saw you heading that way, y/n, but I know it wasn’t you because I saw you do the trash in storage.”
You look at the screen when Sean talks to you and you chew your lip. “I know who killed Felix.”
“Who?” asks almost everyone at the same time. 
You close your eyes and swallow. It’s just a game, why are you taking this so seriously? Suddenly, a song lyric pops into your head and your stomach flips. You imagine yourself saying it and no one knows who you mean except for him. 
You open your eyes. “I’d never snitch on daddy.”
There’s a laugh in the chat and you blush fiercely, your livestream chat blowing up once again.
“I think we know who it is, then,” says Sean, laughing. 
“Yeah,” agrees Lizzie and your eyes widen. 
“Wait, what?” you ask, watching everyone vote almost as soon as the discussion time ends. “Wait, hang on, who--”
“We know who you’re talking about, y/n,” PJ tells you. 
You vote for yourself and your brain goes blank as you see that everyone voted for Corpse. He even voted for himself. They knew. They all _knew _about your feelings for Corpse. 
The round ends with Corpse being voted out and the crewmates win. There’s some talking, but you stay on the victory screen. You’re trying to decide if your mad or embarrassed or both. 
“I didn’t know you’d say that, y/n,” Corpse says, effectively breaking you out of your trance. “I thought you were gonna snitch on me.”
“You heard her,” teases Lizzie and you can tell she’s grinning. “She’d never snitch on you, Corpse.”
He laughs and you feel something in a certain place. “Oh my god, I’m gonna die of embarrassment.” You put your face in your hands, listening to your friends tease you in the chat. You suddenly want to jump out your window and run into traffic. 
“Don’t die,” comes Corpse’s voice through the onslaught of teasing. “I’ll be sad.”
“Fuck!” you shout and slam your hand on your desk, shaking your equipment and scaring your rats. “I’m so sorry, Corpse, that was really weird, I--”
“Stop.” He interrupts you and the chat goes silent and you look up at the screen even though you can’t see him. “It’s okay. It was funny.”
Your eyes widen and then narrow. Funny? He thought what you said was funny? How could he think it was funny?
But then he speaks again and he sounds oddly flustered. “Uh, I gotta go. Um, it was fun playing with you guys. Bye, y/n.”
“Bye Cor--” but then he disconnects and you’re left talking to no one. “--pse.”
There’s a long moment of silence until Felix breaks it. “I can’t believe you just watched me die and didn’t do anything about it.”
There are some laughs and you smile faintly, rejoining the game. “Yeah, uh, sorry about that.”
“Are you okay, y/n?” asks Lizzie. 
You blush and swallow. “I don’t know. God, I’m so weird.” You run a hand through your hair and adjust your headphones
“No, you’re not,” Roomie assures you. “He has a crush on you, too.”
Your eyes widen and you scoot up in your chair. “He does?”
“I mean, he called you pretty once during a game and said that he watches your videos a lot, so maybe.”
You groan and sink in your chair. “I’m gonna go, I need to run into traffic now.”
A few people laugh or chuckle and Lizzie asks you if you’re actually going to leave. 
“Yeah,” you tell her. “But not to run into traffic. I’m going to go play Minecraft to soothe myself.”
“Aw.” You can practically hear her frown. “Okay. Bye, y/n.”
“Good luck with your stream,” Ken tells you. 
You grin. “Okay, thanks, bye.”
When you exit the game and leave the chat, you scream. You actually scream and it’s loud. Your roommate even knocks on your door, asking if you’re okay. 
You look at them and nod. “Yeah, totally fine. Probably about to have a mental breakdown, but I’m fine.”
“Okay,” they say and lean on the doorframe. “But I’m not cutting bangs for you again.”
You laugh and nod. “Yeah, okay, fine.” They leave and you turn back to your stream, feeling like you’re about to cry. Corpse knows you have a crush on him. And it seems like he has one on you as well, but now you’re embarrassed because you called him ‘daddy’ on stream.
You rub your eyes. “Well, now I know what’ll be streaming on Twitter tonight,” you tell the chat. 
5K notes ¡ View notes
genshin-obsessed ¡ 3 years ago
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Dinner and a Tour | Arataki Itto x Reader
Howdy, ok so I'm a little nervous cuz I don't really know him too well. I didn't want to get into his personality but it's got lots of dialogue, so I kinda failed at that?? Either way, don't read too much into the way i wrote him lmao and yeah. I also don't know if he got his vision back cuz that's why he wants to fight Sara, right? anyway, if that's wrong then ignore those two lines. OK im done <3 Word Count: 1k
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“Ah, I knew I’d be left alone.” You muttered, looking around for your friend Lumine. Lumine was a busy girl and you offered to help your friend, which she was grateful for. But along the way… you somehow became separated which seemed to happen more often than not nowadays. And by the time you’d meet up with her, she’d be finished with her task.
You walked to the small bridge and leaned on the wooden railing, looking out at the city. While lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice someone approaching you.
“Lost or something?” You jumped a little at the voice and turned around to correct them… when you came face to face with a torso. A rather toned and muscly torso. Slowly, your eyes ran over the exposed skin and up towards the head where you finally met the red eyes.
“Uh… hi?”
“Hello down there! Are you ok? You look lost. Are you looking for someone?” He took a step back and moved to stand beside you, but your eyes were still locked onto his face. He was extremely tall but handsome too.
“Yeah, k-kinda. I was helping my friend with some errands earlier but then I lost her.” You wanted to keep your explanation brief for this new stranger. Besides, you were trying to find her, not sit and chat with anyone.
“You’re new here, right?” You nodded before finally tearing your eyes away from the man. “I thought so! You have an accent and your clothes… they’re definitely not from here.”
“I’m from (anywhere except Inazuma).”
“Oh, I’ve heard things about them. So! Why don’t I help you find your friend?”
“That’s ok, I wouldn’t want to interrupt whatever you were doing.” The man shook his head and waved his hand.
“Nah, I wasn’t doing anything anyway. Come on! I’ll give you a tour while we’re at it!” He immediately started to walk away before you could properly reject him. Due to his very long legs, that man moved fast. You were forced to jog to catch up with him. Since he was so insistent, you decided it would hurt to have another pair of eyes. Besides, though you’d helped Lumine with the whole Raiden Shogun situation, you hadn’t the time to actually look around Inazuma.
“I’m (y/n)! It’s n-nice to meet you!”
“Right, I’m Arataki Itto! Good to meet you too- oh sorry, am I walking too fast?” He slowed down significantly which made you sigh in relief. “Aw, how cute.” He said, staring down at your smaller form following him at a more favorable pace.
“C-cute?”
“Yeah, I think you’re pretty cute! Not just because you’re short but you have a pretty face. I like it!” Not really wanting to dwell on a simple compliment, you decided to walk beside him silently.
But it had only been a few moments when it finally dawned on you where you recognized his name from.
“Oh! You’re the guy who keeps trying to challenge Kujou Sara!”
“Pfft, that was a late reaction! But yeah, she owes me a rematch! Why? Do you know her?” Deciding you wanted no part of this weird rivalry, you chose to lie… a little.
“N-not really, I’ve just heard things.”
“I’m happy to have my vision back, but I still want to fight her. She’s just being stubborn- oh but enough about her! Tell me about yourself!” He was quite the boisterous one, but for some reason, it was pleasant. He was kinda like Paimon… if she was a giant man with lots of muscles.
“Well, you already know my name and where I’m from. I’m here with the traveler who fought against the Raiden Shogun. She’s my friend.”
“Oh, so you’re the two heroes, it’s good to meet you. Now I really wanna get to know you.” Itto came to an abrupt halt, which caused you to stop as well. He stared down at you with a very odd look in his eyes.
“Wh-what does that mean?” Your voice faltered a little as your cheeks turned red. Itto definitely noticed and leaned down, his face merely inches away from yours.
“Is that a blush? Wow… that’s kinda cute.”
“You already said that,” you muttered, turning your face away, “come on now.”
“Ok, but your face is getting redder. So, I’m pretty sure it’s working. I like it so I’ll think I’ll do it more often.” He teased, making you look back at him. You wanted to retaliate, but then your eyes met. You had spent most of your time following Lumine around without doing much for yourself. So, if this giant, goofy guy kinda had an interest in you, it wouldn’t hurt to return the interest, right?
“I… think you’re p-pretty too.” You admitted before he leaned back and a hearty laugh escaped his lips.
“Great! Then it’s settled. I want to take you out on a date. There’s a tea house not too far from here. Let’s get something to eat!” He said, grabbing your arm and tugging you along.
“Just like that?! We just met!”
“A date’s a great way to get to know someone, I think that’s kinda the whole point.” He laughed, which did throw you into a little panic, but there was an air of freedom around him. It reminded you of an old friend. Now you were really sure you wanted to give this a try. Ah, what the hell. Lumine didn’t need you to help her constantly...
Your shock slowly melted into a smile and you giggled as you ran beside him. It had been maybe ten minutes since you met this weirdo and you were already in a better mood. You could probably run around the entirety of Inazuma with him and wouldn’t regret it.
“What about the tour?!” You asked, laughter escaping from your lips.
“Oh yeah, ok! So for our date today, I’ll show you Inazuma City!” The confidence he emitted was just… so warm and encouraging.
“You are something else, Arataki Itto.” You mumbled, lacing your fingers with his as the two of you ran down the streets of Inazuma City.
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weepinglevi ¡ 4 years ago
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patience is a virtue
summary: college!au. all aged up. eren and reader continue with their sexual escapades. find part one here! warnings: 18+ minors dni. dirty text messages, dirty talk. dom!eren and bratty reader (i suppose?). throat fucking and semi-public sex. (no p in v tho) word count: around 3.5k A/N: i have a love/hate relationship with this eren ahaha, he's been ruling my brainrot ever since the last part so i hope you enjoy! there will be a part three eventually, so be on the lookout for that! enjoy your read and feedback is greatly appreciated! xx
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you awake to your phone vibrating somewhere next to you. the hope of it only being a one-time occurrence quickly proven to be false as it just wouldn't stop. brr-brr. a second of silence. brr-brr. pause. brr-brr.
taking a mental note to never go to sleep again without turning off your phone, you roll over to your other side and try to ignore it. you could simply answer the texts, but that meant you'd have to open your eyes. and that whoever was texting you would win this weird battle you've just come up with in your head.
"if you don't pick up your goddamn phone, i'll smack you over the head with it," sasha groans from the other side of your shared dorm, words coming slurry with her tiredness.
brr-brr.
"i could also stick it up your ass, your decision," a pillow comes flying to your head, serving as enough of a warning for you to sit up in your bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.
"quit moaning, i'll turn it off now," you yawn, feeling around your bed for your phone, "you never hear me complaining about the shit you do in the middle of the night."
"that's because my shit is funny and not fucking annoying," she scoffs, followed by a muted thump as she is sinking back down into her pillows. sasha's way of ending the conversation.
you find your phone half-tucked underneath your pillow, the display already lighting up again. someone is desperate for attention, you think to yourself and unlock your phone with an annoyed sigh. the messages were coming from an unknown number.
thinking about your wet pussy. this is eren, btw. historia gave me your number. i told her you wouldn't mind you don't mind, do you?
in a matter of seconds, your heart is beating in your throat once more, just like this afternoon in that godforsaken computer lab. ears growing hot at his words, you could almost imagine the sound of him laughing at you again. with trembling fingers, you scroll down further.
anyway, let's do it again sometime i told you. i'll never let you forget about how you moaned my name i'm also not forgetting about how badly i want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours, so it's a win-win see ya, then
staring down at your phone, you don't know if you should answer him. and even if you would answer his texts, what the hell should you say? "fucking bastard," the words escaping your mouth before even realizing that you'd better keep quiet. the only thing that could make this situation any worse was if sasha were to wake up again.
scratch that, you think as you see eren's new messages.
how badly do you want to suck my cock? you looked really hot today, covered in my cum what, you're shy again?
there are two ways this could go: either you stand up, put on some clothes, and then go to eren's dorm to let hell rain upon him - or simply mute your phone and ignore him. deciding to go with the latter, you lie back down and save his number as "fuckhead", a small grin forming on your face. if he wants to be childish, then you can be, too.
the display still lighting up at a steady pace, you have to fight the urge to open his other messages. to physically prevent yourself from grabbing your phone again, you put your hands between your thighs and sigh. what the hell have i gotten myself into?
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"so, who am i gonna have to teach some manners today?", sasha asks in the morning, "because there are only two valid reasons for sending that many texts in the middle of the night," she sits up in her bed and bends over to reach for her phone, "either someone's dead or there's a food sale."
cringing at the thought of having to read the countless other messages eren has sent throughout the night, you try to laugh at her comment, "of course, when there's food involved, you're all for it."
"girl's gotta eat," she claims, thankfully being too distracted by something on her phone to notice your strange behavior, "i'm gonna be back later than usual today, connie wants me to be his wingman again."
starting to go off on a tangent about how connie should just get a dating app already, sasha's words become more of background noise to you. you want to know what he wrote. what he has in store for you. at the same time, you curse yourself out. you're turning into a headless chicken and all of it because of eren fucking yeager?
you nod here and there, offering her a "yes" at what you believe to be fitting moments, desperately hoping she doesn't catch up on your restlessness. all the while the two of you are getting ready for the day. this goes on for a few more minutes and you have no clue what she's talking about now, so you decide to grab your phone and stand up.
"i'm gonna go for a run around campus, you want coffee?" you blurt out, interrupting her monologue. the device in your hand feels as if it's burning through your skin. slipping into your trainers, you're already halfway out the room, her perplexed "uh- yes, please," being muffled by the door closing behind you.
it's still warm outside - not as hot as yesterday, but warm enough for you to be glad to have forgotten your cardigan earlier. you let out a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. even though you told sasha you'd be out for a run, you walk at a slow pace.
some people are already wandering around campus, most of them on their way to a lecture. at this time in the morning, everyone has their heads full with their own worries so no one notices you slowly making your way off-campus.
arriving at a little park surrounded by trees, you sit down on the bench farest off. you notice your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird when pulling the phone out of your back pocket. fuck him, you think once again while typing in your code. fuck him for making me feel this way.
12 unread messages.
didn't seem all too shy when i had my hand wrapped around your throat no need to play hard to get when i already had you if that makes sense? haven't fucked you yet doesn't mean i won't get to fuck you
all you want is to feel appalled by these messages. to screenshot them and send them to the dean. maybe even to his mother. sickened with yourself though, you already feel the familiar warmth creeping up your body, curling up in your abdomen.
i know you want it, too how fucking needy you were for me getting yourself off in public to the thought of me maybe you can tell me what exactly you were thinking of? gonna make sure to let your dreams come true, princess
pet names? you clench your fist at the thought of eren leaning over you, breathing the word princess into your ear. you have an inkling that he'd say it mockingly; spitting it out whilst gathering your hair in a ponytail, arching your back forcefully, and slamming his length into you without mercy.
no. you hate pet names. at least, you've always hated them.
i'm gonna find out if you're ignoring me right now remember, you're not the best actress. fucking suck at it, actually wouldn't want to be punished now, would we?
his last message echoed in your head. still coming to terms with the fact of what happened yesterday, now you have to deal with a whole new revelation: eren yeager being a cocky motherfucker pushing all the right buttons for you. even though you want to blast his ass for this, the mere thought of him being near you again is too sweet of an imagination.
you want to play this game, too. for whatever reason keep on riding this high, and you just know that no one could do it quite as well as eren can. somehow you can only imagine taking him on this ride with you, no one else.
so, in that manner you decide to ignore his messages. if he's desperate enough to keep on sending them in the middle of the night, you're sure it won't be long until he sends another text. and it would give him enough reason to try and punish you, whatever that might entail – you're excited to find out. fucking nervous, too. but then again, who wouldn't be?
you stand up and put your phone in your back pocket, a sense of excitement surrounding your steps as you turn left to make your way to the nearest coffee shop.
"something tells me you're ignoring me," of course, the moment eren's voice comes up behind you, you fucking flinch like a little bird that's been scared away, "mostly because i've seen you reading the messages, but what do i know?"
you turn to see him clutching his heart dramatically, "don't play with my feelings like this," he swoons, bringing one hand to his forehead. he's laughing again, all white teeth and bright smiles – you realize this is the kind of eren you rarely get to see. not the cocky bastard he normally portrays; right now, he seems to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, just enjoying himself. still, you want to show him that you can play just as well as he can.
crossing your arms in front of your chest, you slightly raise a brow, trying your hardest to not look as nervous as you feel. it's a lost cause though because you can already feel the tips of your ears glowing with heat again. can't things go my way for once? just once? you think and chew the inside of your cheek. you felt so sure of yourself just moments ago. how the hell can he have this sort of effect on you?
suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. before, he seemed laid-back, entertained by the game he played with you. now he leans forward, hands in the pockets of his jacket and an almost cruel smile forming on his lips, "don't try to challenge me in this. you'll lose."
you know that you should feel frightened. terrified, even. he's looking like a lion preparing to jump the antelope, a sense of alarming calmness around him that's causing the small hairs on your neck to stand up. but alas, the way he's looking at you seems to have the same effect on you his scent has.
"i told you not to ignore me," eren says and takes a few steps closer to you, "yet here you are, doing it again." the chuckle leaving his lips a stark contrast to his stern gaze, still trained on you. somehow, you feel awfully small again - still not frightened, though. you stare right back at him, tilting your head slightly as if you wanted to say "so what?"
"are you seriously that desperate to be punished?"
better now than never, you think and once again place a courtly smile on your lips, "seems like it."
for a split second, you see eren's smug look turn into a genuine smile. realizing that you're up for his game, he lets out a smooth whistle, "you do surprise me."
"if you wouldn't always be so full of yourself, i'm sure you'd have recognized this sooner," you can feel the confidence growing in yourself again. clinging on to it, you take a step toward him, "i'm full of surprises."
"oh, yeah? i bet you are," from the corner of your eye, you can see him lifting his hand. before thinking twice about it, you bat it away, "i'm not one for public displays of affection."
oh, it is on– eren's smirk turns into a full-fledged grin as he takes a grip of your wrist, "you sure about that?" lifting your hand to his face, for a short moment you think he's going to suck on your fingers again. but all he does is place a faint kiss on the back of your hand, "didn't seem like it yesterday."
"you weren't supposed to see."
"but i'm so glad i did," he leans forward, the two of you standing so close you can feel his breath on your face, "or else we wouldn't have this kind of fun right now."
still having a hold of your hand, he lifts his other to your jaw, gently tracing his thumb across your lower lip, "you looked so pretty in your skirt yesterday."
taking a leap of faith, you grab his hand, holding it in place and letting your tongue run across the tip of his thumb before biting down playfully. there's a hiss and then eren pulls away and grabs your arm, "come with me."
finally, you think and let him guide you to wherever he wants, let's have some fun, then.
on your way out of the park, you pass jean and marco. even though they stand to greet eren, he just raises his hand whilst not breaking his pace, "gotta go, have an assignment to work on."
"never seen you that determined, but go off," jean laughs.
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before you know it, you're inside one of the countless maintenance sheds. pushing you against the wall, eren's movements seem to become more and more erratic by the second. pinning your arms over your head, he's looking down at you, breathing heavily. "you have no idea what you just got yourself into," licking his lips, he chuckles.
"oh, but i think i actually do," you smile innocently, fucking glad to have found your normal self again. admittedly, eren threw you off your game since yesterday – but it's just going to play into your hands now. he won't see it coming until it's hitting him straight in the face; that you're just as messed up as he seems to be.
"then prove it," he breathes against your ear, "tell me how badly you want it."
the stuffy air inside the dimly lit shed doesn't help with keeping eren's scent away from you. being so close to him, looking up into his shadowed face and right into his dilated eyes; you're like putty in his hands. you try to move forward, to touch him in some way because you just know that he'll feel so good under your skin.
"now now, princess," he moves even closer, wedging you between himself and the wall, "how about we learn some patience, first?"
you nod, but then grind up against his thigh, hissing through your teeth, "i worry i'll be a real handful." you know you could very well move your hands, too – eren seems to still be testing the waters as to how far he can go with you. but with him actually letting you grind on him; you decide to play into his hands.
your breaths grow quicker as you keep on, pace becoming erratic. all you want is to get rid of your track pants – come to think of it, what you actually want is eren under you whilst you continuously bounce on his cock. you want to hear him call you princess and immediately after call you his little whore because that's exactly what you are.
eren has a little smile on his lips and you know you should ask yourself why – because you're doing exactly what he has forbidden you to do – but you're too far gone. the heat growing, you feel your knees buckle but he's holding you up; one hand now resting on your waist for support. you're so close –
and then he pulls away from you, nearly causing you to topple over. chest heaving, you place your hands on your knees for balance, "what the fuck was – "
"patience is a virtue," interrupting you with a laugh, but his voice heavy with lust, "thought i might give you a lesson you're ought to remember."
you look up to see eren palming his erection through his pants, standing about an arm's length away from you, "but i have to admit, hearing you getting yourself off is fucking hot."
biting your teeth together, you straighten up and take a step toward him – only for him to click his tongue in disapproval, "you're gonna stay right there," tugging at his pants he raises his eyebrow, "i told you what i want, get on your knees for me."
"the fuck i will," you spit out and make a move again, grasping for his waistband. but eren is quick to take a hold of your hand and pushes you back to the wall, "come on, now, princess," he chuckles but his eyes are concentrated at you, "you want this, don't you?". he's asking for permission, the thought feeling very comforting to you. and also, very excited for what's about to come.
"of course, i do," you answer him earnestly, resting the back of your head against the wall, "or else i wouldn't be here."
"fantastic," he breathes, a little smile playing in the corners of his mouth, "then get down on your knees," placing his hands on your shoulders, weighing you down, "i won't ask again."
the change of tone in his voice has you nodding, slowly sinking onto your knees, you're bursting in anticipation. one hand finally pulling down his pants, he runs his other through your hair, then down your jaw until it comes to rest on your chin.
thumbing at your lower lip, he groans "do i have to be careful?"
you just shake your head no. then you break away from his gaze, fixing your eyes on the bobbing cock in front of you. it's tip leaking with precum already, you remember how badly you wanted to lick it away yesterday.
taking his cock at its base, you bend forward and slide your tongue around its head. the salty taste sending shudders down your spine, you make sure to lift your eyes again once you prepare to take it all down your throat. your other hand snakes up to his balls, slightly tugging them which earns you a moan from eren, and fuck, you're so wet at the sound alone, you let go of his cock and slide one hand down to your own center.
he gathers your hair in one hand, taking the base of his throbbing cock in the other, "bet this is what you thought of yesterday," he slowly but surely pulls your head in closer, "of how i fuck the words right out of you."
bucking your hips into your own hand, you can do nothing but whimper at his words. because yes, this is exactly what you imagined. he's only halfway in and you're already struggling to breathe, but not wanting him to stop you hold your breath and push down even further; trying desperately not to moan.
the tears in your eyes causing your vision to be blurry, you attempt to blink them away.
"shit – ", he's pumping into you now, rubbing the tears from your cheeks and then placing both his hands on your head, "you're doing so well – "
getting lost in his words, the fear of being caught is so far away; you finally moan around his cock. saliva soaking the hem of his shirt, you can't seem to take his whole length, no matter how hard you try. you're a fucking mess under him and the thought alone is nearly sending you over the edge.
he's trying to pull away now and you know he's close, so you snake your hand around his hip, hoping this is enough of a sign to him that if he dared to cum anywhere else than down your throat, you'd bite him.
"you really – " his voice is hoarse, "fuck – this is fucking perfect," he moans as he comes to the realization. leaning his arm against the wall behind you, he's fucking himself into your mouth, his panting and the sound of your choking filling the room.
you close your eyes to blink the tears away again, but eren pulls on your hair, "no – look at me."
with this the knot in your belly explodes, leaving you holding on to eren's hip as you ride the waves of electricity that are running through your body like lava.
"such a good little whore – " he's gone as well, holding your head in place as he's pumping his load down your throat, leaving you no other option than to swallow – which you eagerly do. you feel his legs shaking under your hands.
once again, eren hands you his shirt to clean your face. this time, you take it with a smile, noting that, "i still have your other one."
"don't worry, i'll come get it sometime when sasha's away," the two of you know exactly what this means – neither of you are planning on this to be over anytime soon.
"i'll let you know, then," you nod and stand up, hoping you don't look as well-fucked as you feel, and make your way to the door, "she's gone most of the time."
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colossal-fallout ¡ 4 years ago
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First time with Reiner Braun ❤
Fem X Reiner
This is a little different. I wrote it so you can insert yourself or an OC.
  Warnings: NSFW. 18+ Smut and Fluff. 
A/N: Slight Canon divergent as Cadets take place when they’re in their late teens/early twenties. Other than that, it’s all the same. 
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  Reiner had been acting weird all day; but [Name] couldn’t really blame him.  
The last time they were alone together, they’d ended up locking mouths in a steamy kiss. They hadn’t spoken about it since – they hadn’t really had the chance.  Between training and having their classmates around it was a perfect cover to avoid a potentially awkward conversation.  When Shadis announced that for this exam, they would be teamed up together, they had both internally groaned.  
Well, it was going to happen eventually. They’d had another two years of training, they were bound to wind up alone together again at some point. They’d both made sure that during the entire hike, they didn’t let one silence befall the conversation, which would force them to talk about the inevitable subject of their heated kiss.  
It was quite comical, actually.  
Constant talking either about their task, their friends or at one point even pondered and speculated if a person got a sunburn in front of a cannibal; would the cannibal start watering at the mouth?
Anything to not talk about the kiss.  
It’d been a whole week since the incident and it wasn’t like they didn’t want to address it. They just didn’t want to know the others thought on the matter.  They’d both had serious reservations about it; they were totally focused on training and not fooling around.  
And yet...
The kiss only fanned the flames of the huge crush Reiner has had on her since day one. The crush that, over the last thirteen months, had developed into something a lot deeper.  
He’d kill for her.  
He thought about that only earlier when she made a joke about something and it really tickled him to the core; resulting in a loud belly laugh. So, when the sun was starting to set and they had found a good place to camp for the night... that was when things would inevitably go south.  
“Hey Ba- uh, [Name] ?” Reiner called out in a chilled horror. Not only from the slip of the tongue, but also what he had discovered in their shared backpack.  
[Name] was only a few feet away, starting a campfire when a small laugh left her sweet lips.  
“Did you almost call me Bertolt?”  
No. I almost called you “babe”
“Uh, yeah. Sorry. But we have a problem.”
“What is it?” she frowned, heading over.  
He pulled a large, folded bit of material out of the pack.  
“...We only have one tent.”
She looked at him like he spoke another language.
“So? It’s not the first time we’ve had to share a tent with a partner during training. I had to share one with Jean last year.”  
I bet Jean would have loved that...  
It was a running joke amongst the men about when they had to share sleeping quarters with the women, and how they’d lie on the very edge, all limbs tucked in and never once touching them for fear of a testosterone induced erection.  
“Yeah, but I’m a big guy.” He lied, not once being concerned about that at all.  
“Get over yourself.” She chuckled, nudging him playfully as she returned to what she was doing.  
Reiner solemnly obeyed and began to set up the tent, his frown pulling at his face the entire time.  He will not get any sleep – being so close to... her. Alone... Miles away from anyone.  
After they’d kissed.  
He swallowed hard as he fumbled with the poles, wanting to be out of this situation.  
Reiner Braun was desperately in love with this woman and he was supposed to be keeping away. If they kiss again, he’s a total goner. There would be no way he could reject her if she reciprocated his feelings even in the slightest. Luckily, their kiss had been interrupted so he didn’t know how she truly felt. He thought that if he never knew, it’s a problem he would never have to face.  
His fingers clumsily began to fix things together;  [Name] already having the fire going and preparing dinner.  
His eyes almost began to water at the thought that he was about to get her famous, amazing cooking.  
Sasha had been furious he was paired with her.  
His chest tightened and his head became fuzzy. He wished he didn’t have to be in such a complicated situation; he would just ask her to marry him already.  
“You need help?” her voice called over after he dropped the pole fixtures for the third time.  
“Huh? Uh, no I got it.” He wavered a hand dismissively without turning around.  
What the hell am I going to do? He panics in silence.  
Eventually the sun had set and the tent was erected, the two of them sitting by the fire after they’d eaten. The warm orange glow of the flames encased them cosily as Reiner sat back and patted his stomach in awe.  
“Amazing. As always.” He smiled. “Thank you.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” She beamed beautifully.  
 Surrounded by the trees under the stars and being embraced by the warm glow of the flames; [Name] now began to feel weird about their intimate moment they’d had.  It wasn’t very often they had time alone and her feelings for him remained the same since.  
They sat back, gazing up at the stars in a comfortable silence.  
“It feels like we haven’t stargazed in forever.” [Name] commented quietly. “I bet Marco is looking at them now too.”  
“Yeah, he will be.” Reiner marvelled.  
Another silence.  
He noticed she had been pretty quiet since they began relaxing by the fire.  
[Name] was wondering why he hadn’t mentioned the kiss. He’d had plenty of time now.  
Maybe he regrets it?
She bit her lip at the thought, her eyes lowering to the flames sadly. God, he’d grown on her a hell of a lot and she resented that fact. It hurt to think he didn’t feel the same.  
Reiner noticed this.  
Shit, she looks sad. Is it because he hadn’t mentioned the kiss? Should he ask her? There’s no way he would ever stand for her feeling down, let alone because of him.  
What the hell should I do?!
His brain hurt. More so, his heart.  
She flinched a little in surprise when he slowly creeped his hand across the ground and intentionally skimmed his skin across her fingers. He didn’t look at her though. It was his way of sending an impossible telepathic message of; Don’t be sad. I can’t say it but God, I love you.
She, however, assumed it was an accident.  
Ah hell. I’m going to have to mention it. I can’t see her feeling down.  
He took a deep breath.  
“You alright? You look a little down.” His usual façade of serious, concerned solider coming out.  
“Oh? I’m fine.” She lied.  
He knew she was lying. He knew her too well.  
“It looks like it’s going to rain though.” She noticed the thick clouds that were rolling in, beginning to block their view of the stars. “We should get some sleep.”
“R-right.” Reiner nodded, deflated.  
He didn’t know what he expected. His heart, body and soul ached for her lips against his again, but his mind screamed to stop being an idiot.  
As she went inside to get ready for bed, he stood and began to snuff out the flames of the fire, along with any hope he’d had of being with the woman he was so desperately in love with.  
----
  Sure enough, as they lay facing away from one another, the sounds of soft pattering began to tap the tent above their heads. They lay back-to-back with as big of a gap between them as possible; what the small tent would allow anyway. Reiner’s arms were tucked up around his chest and his eyes were wide.
[Name] had her limbs tucked away too but that was for a different reason – as always when she camped out, she was freezing. It didn’t matter the season. As soon as that sun sank below the horizon, her body temperature would drop.  
Reiner on the other hand was like a big insulated heater, sleeping in just his underwear under his sleeping bag. His heart thudded harshly against his large chest.  
She’s just there! Kiss her! Talk to her! Tell her how you feel...
 He’d been close to telling her a few times over the course of the last month or so. He couldn’t help it. Even before they shared that kiss, his feelings would bubble up to the surface and almost spew out of his mouth. He’d always managed to stop himself though, although it was getting increasingly more difficult each time.  
She was just so... perfect.  
Not only was she extremely attractive and half of his classmates wanted her, but she was strong. Smart. Funny. Caring... His eyes closed in a frown as he listed the endless attributes he loved about her in his head. He was fighting a losing battle, and he knew it.  
Bertolt. Annie. Marcel. I’m sorry. I tried... I really did.  
He glanced back and that’s when he noticed her curled up in a ball, shivering.  
His eyebrows furrowed.  “...You cold?”  
“Y-yeah.”  
He instantly turned onto his side to face her, his sleeping bag rustling against the fabric of the tent.  
“You should have said something. ‘C mere.”  
With a sigh he sat up and began unzipping her sleeping bag.  
“What are you doing?” her teeth chatted.  
“Helping you warm up. I doubt you wanna get sick and miss training.”
She averted her eyes away from him when he unzipped his bag and fastened them together into a double. She knew he slept in his shorts.  
Her breath caught in her throat when he wrapped his big, strong arms around her and pulled her back against his warm chest, heat rolling off him and encasing her like a huge bear was holding her. His scent rolled off him and embraced her sense of smell, relaxing her immediately.
He kept his pelvis away from her, his manhood already stirring awake and he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable.  
“T-thank you.” She whispered, still trembling.  
“Don’t mention it.” He sighed, silently kicking himself.  
I definitely won’t be getting any sleep now.  
Her heart almost stopped when his head rested and lay between her neck and shoulder, his hot breath blanketing her skin. Rushes of unexpected heat ran down her body to in-between her legs and seemed to just pool there.  
His brows furrowed behind her; inhaling her intoxicating scent silently.  
Although he was trying his hardest not to brush his hips against her, he still felt so comfortable having her in his arms like this, like she was supposed to be in them. He was meant to protect her. To care for her. To love her.  
His mind fluttered back to how he’d almost told her he loved her before. He’d hinted so hard but she just looked at him like he was crazy, not understanding what he was trying to tell her. When he was around [Name], it was like all of his troubles just melted away. Colours seemed brighter, his worries were brushed aside and life was just... amazing. She made him laugh, he could tell her anything (almost) and she always knew what to say to make him feel better after a particularly rough day. But to him, the best part of it all was how excited she got him for the future. One that was bleak and full of sorrow was spun upside down and into a promising one, brimming with all possibilities.
“I have something to tell you.” He said softly, not able to stop himself this time.  
Maybe it was being this close to her that sent him over the edge. Or maybe it made it easier that she was facing away from him.  
“Hm?” she hummed softly; her eyes closed and enjoying the warm embrace.  
“...I love you.”  
That was it. It was out.
There was no way to suck those words back into his lungs.  
The tense, pregnant silence within the tent was only filled by the light tapping of the rain against the material that covered them.
He felt her tense in surprise, her eyes flying open.  
She swivelled around to face him, her eyes searching his narrow golden orbs for any sign of deception.  
But there wasn’t any.  
A crimson flush washed over his cheeks.  
“I... I mean, you know –” he began before she silenced him by pressing her lips against his.  
Both of their eyebrows pulled back as if pleading above closed eyes, his hand cupping her face, thrilled to be kissing her once more.  
She pulled away, her own pink hue colouring her face.  
“You... Love me?” she asked, her voice soft and sweet.  
He pressed his head against hers, closing his eyes and nodding.  
“ [Name] , I’m crazy about you.” He whispered in honesty. “I always have been.”
“...How crazy?” she teased, trying to tear away any awkwardness or negative feelings in his confession.  
He smirked. She knows just how to make him comfortable.  
He grinned slyly, looking in her eyes.  
“Oh, absolutely insane. I should be getting carted away to the asylum, with Sasha and her potatoes behind me.”
She laughed beautifully, her heart swelling with joy. Even from that dumb little exchange, confirmed to her that she definitely felt the same.  
“So, you don’t regret that kiss...? Last week?”
“Of course not.” He replied, eyes returning to a desperate pleading. “I was just having a hard time accepting that I’ve come to cadets to be a soldier and.... Ended up meeting the woman I wanna marry.”
Every word that left his lips felt like a warm pleasant jab to her heart.  
“You... Wanna marry me?” She whispers, totally blown away from the intensity of this confession.  
“I do.” He admitted shyly. “You don’t deserve anything less. It’s just how I feel... Sorry”
“You know...” she whispered shyly. “It’s more efficient to share body heat when you’re both naked.”
His eyes enlarged and breath caught in his throat.  
“That’s if... You’d want to.” She added adorably.  
“Are you sure?” he whispered, praying she would say yes.  
She nodded in reply.  
“I want you, Reiner.” She breathed. “I love you too. I want... you to make me yours. I want to be yours.”
Reiner was bombarded with emotion.  
Elation. Excitement. Arousal.
Not to mention he was beginning to wonder if this were a dream. If he were going to cruelly wake up next to Bertolt and his weird sleeping positions.  
There’d been countless times he’s imagined her utter those words in his head; sometimes while stroking his own cock.  
He’d lost count how many times he’d furiously tugged himself while she occupied his mind. But as his feelings for her deepened, it became less and less so; guilt always creeping into his conscience. He just respected her too much.
He propped himself up on his elbow, running his now trembling fingers through her hair.  
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He breathes.
“You won’t.” She shook her head. “I mean, it’s okay if you don’t want to, I under –”  
He put his arms under the sleeping bag with great speed and shuffled a little, before pulling his shorts out and throwing them to the side.  
She let out a laugh when he returned to his original position with haste.  
He returned her laugh, rubbing his nose against hers.  
“Okay...” she muttered shyly. “Look over there for a moment”
He turned around obediently as she began to nervously undress under the now warm sleeping bag.  
All he could hear under the movement of her undressing herself was his heart pounding in his head.  
There’s no way this is real and happening.  
His cock was already hard at the thought of her undressing inches away from him. His previous reservations about being teamed up with her were quickly washed away as she threw her clothes to the side, before nestling back down and hiding under the cover.  
“Alright... You can come back.” She informs him.  
At the speed of a firing bullet, he turned back around; painfully keeping his eyes glued to hers.  
His arm flinched, about to pull her back into his embrace but he hesitated.  
“Are... you sure?” He asked again, not able to believe the situation.  
“Yes.” She giggled, nervously.  
His eyes enlarged and jaw slackened when he felt her satin soft skin against his, her bare breasts pressing against his hard chest and her lower stomach and groin against his solid erection. 
A gasp parted her lips as she felt, not only how hard he was, but how big.  
His arms snaked around her, his narrow orbs keeping their gaze onto her orbs as he pulled her now naked form against his.  
“R-Reiner...” she couldn’t help but stammer, her face heating up as well as her insides.  
A pink hue raises over his cheeks, not having really thought through the situation. He was nervous. He was excited. He was close to hyperventilating. 
Her lips softly press against Reiner’s once more, her fingers grazing across his scalp, her breathing heavy and needing. 
His arm snakes around her stomach, his brow pulled down and creased while his nose pushes out a blow of air, his heart hammering and his cock leaking with pre-cum. She could feel it weeping against her flesh as it throbbed and danced against her lower stomach. 
She pulls back for a moment; “Reiner. Only take me if you’re going to cherish me. This won’t be a one time thing for me...” 
He catches her gaze, lips parted and eyes still hungry. “Of course. I meant what I said.” 
She smiles - elated at his words as she returns her kiss, her hands roaming his ridged, solid muscles. 
His mouth moves down to her neck, slow and tender kisses - each one sending jolts of searing hot electric through her entirety. Reiner’s breath is deep; quivering and panting as he tries to hold back his eagerness and excitement. 
“I’ve wanted you for so long...” He groans, his large palm pushing her arm above her head as he hovers over her a little, his fingers interlocking with her own, still kissing her deeply. 
The pink hue across his face was deepening to more of a crimson, his eyes heavy lidded and jaw slack the entire time. The way he kisses her is with such compassion, such tenderness. He grazes his large nose against hers, hands caress her hair as he keeps himself steady over her, before gingerly rolling on top of her completely, keeping himself suspended with his forearms. 
He made sure every single graze, every grope was as gentle as possible - afraid of his lumbering huge form would somehow break her as they explored one another’s bodies, their tongues entwining in a slow dance within their mouths. Deep, short groans vibrated his throat and chest from time to time, and not once did that furrowed look of desperation leave his face. 
 The only sounds that could be heard was their kisses, whines and groans as well as their laboured breath and the pattering of rain against the tent. 
He suddenly stops their kiss, placing his head against hers and rubbing his large thumb across her cheek, back and forth. 
“I’m happy to just do this.” He breathes, wanting to prove to her that he really was just so happy she felt the same. “We don’t have to do anything else.” 
“I want to...” She replies, the snake coiled within her wrapped far too tightly to be ignored now. “I want you to make me yours. That’s...if you’d like.” 
He nods - returning his kiss, his top lip folding as his lusted haze results in him missing his mark slightly. God it was hard for him not to touch her between her legs. But he’s a gentleman. He didn’t want to unless he knew one hundred per cent that she was sure. 
Taking his fingertips, he nervously and slowly grazes them down her stomach to her pubic bone, pausing before taking a leap of courage - his calloused pads grazing down her clitoris and to her soaked lips. 
They both gasp at the sensation. The feeling of his warm, large fingers against her most intimate area was indescribable. And for him, her thick slick was heavenly. 
“Is this all for me...?” He whispers in awe and disbelief, his shoulder flexing with his movements as he continues to slowly stroke her. 
She nods, biting her lip. 
“Sh~~~it.” He swallows hard, eyes closing for a moment before returning to hers. “It’s my first time. I won’t last long.” 
“I don’t care.” She groans, pulling him by his head for another deep kiss. 
 As much as he wanted to enter her, he refused to allow himself. Instead his lips trail down her body, her eyes locked onto his broad back flexing with every tiny movement as his head moves, his lips connecting with every inch of skin it could find - his hands gently rubbing and massaging - memorising every single gasp from her mouth. Every hitch of breath. He would remember where he’d been when she made those noises and made sure he damn well took it all in. 
“Reiner, I can’t take it.” She eventually moans, writhing beneath him, fingers running through her own hair. “I need you. Please...” 
He instantly returns to her face, cupping it and his muscular back hunches - his free hand grabbing the large base of his shaft. 
“You ready for me, baby?” He breathes. 
She nods. 
He lines up his gleaming head before pushing gently, her tiny entrance being invaded by him as he hisses, her back bending with a loud moan. 
“ [Name]...” He whimpers, totally overwhelmed both with physical stimulation and emotion. 
He pushes again, a little firmer his head popping in past the first hurtle. 
“You okay?” He asks, sounding like he’s just finished sprinting a whole cross-country race. 
“Yeah...” 
He pushes again, her tight insides slowly ingesting him like a snake with a large meal - her ridges massaging him as they spasm with glee around him - his moans now a lot louder than before as he jitters to a stop at the hilt. 
“Fuck...” His tone sounds like he’s about to burst into tears as he slowly starts to pull out and slide back in again. 
The full feeling of Reiner Braun was better than ecstasy, his girth pushing and stretching her, his cock bending up slightly at the tip, already pushing against her g-spot as he trembles above her. With each slow thrust, her pleasure was pushed to an impossible new high, her nails sinking into his large back as she clung onto him for dear life - tears pooling at the corners of her orbs from how amazing it all felt. Like the only two people in the world were her and him, souls connected and swirling around the cosmos in the eternal dance of lovers. 
 “I can’t... Reiner. It’s too good.” She sobs, her insides now pulling in a rhythm as her coil tightens more and more. “I’m going...” 
“Oh, baby...” He groans, eyes rolling as he plunges a little faster. “Me too. It feels so - n’urgh. So good...” 
“Reiner!” She sobs hysterically as she snaps, coming undone around him as her legs tremble and head throws back. 
 As she unravels around him, her name leaves his lips over and over and over again, each time louder than the last as his thick and large cumshot explodes inside of her, his atomic detonation causing mass devastation as his legs quiver, eyes cross and even a bit of drool hangs from his mouth. 
 You are one special person to capture Reiner’s affections while he held such high walls around his heart for reasons not yet known to you. But you managed it, and god is it such a beautiful thing. 
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the-phantom-ender ¡ 4 years ago
Text
S. So. I reblogged this post earlier. And. And I wanted to see a fic for it.
But, uh... I'm very impatient. So I wrote it myself.
LISTEN. LISTEN. I KNOW I HAVE REQUESTS TO BE WORKING ON. HOWEVER, CONSIDER: PHILZA MINECRAFT.
Watson Phillips. That was the name he was going by at this point. He had his wings, practically useless by now, binded and pinned to his back. You could hardly see the bump left by them under the layers of clothing. It was uncomfortable, sure, but not bad. The ruler of this land was a Piglin, he couldn’t help but be reminded of… an old friend.
He sighed, waiting quietly for the event to start. And it did! Oh it did. He didn’t get much of a view of things when the first two gladiators went up to bat, being much to caught up in aiming the bow in his hands, quiver strapped over his shoulder. All he knew was that one of them, Lagius was it, lost miserably. Not that he would judge much, really.
He only really came to be aware of what was happening when he was approached. And… then he saw a very, very familiar face. Watson almost froze where he stood, but covered his tracks with grace, saying he was more or less just focused on target practice. It was a lie, but not an unbelievable one. He rolled his shoulders, back aching.
The cameraman was Karl Jacobs.
There was absolutely no doubt in his mind. For one, his clothing was absolutely not time appropriate. The brightly coloured spiral hoodie did not fly anymore, no sir. For two: Watson knew what reincarnation looked like. This was the same face. This was different.
He decided that when this was over, he would get a chance to talk to Karl.
Watson lost his fight. He kind of threw it, in fairness. The other guy was drunk off his ass and he felt a little guilty fighting him. Also the zero gravity ruining his shot did him in a little. He was deadly on target with a bow, but if a person could easily side step because of how slowly it moved, there was really no point.
After that, he was content just… standing around. He got a little drunk at one point, but he sobered up quick enough that it may well have never happened. It was nice getting to know the rest of the people around, they all seemed alright enough.
Then he spoke to the Ran fellow. An enderman, surely, through and through. Had the same genetic mutation as… someone he used to know. Made the eyes green. Not very common, but not terribly uncommon, either. They carried themselves like anyone could come at them at any time. And considering everything going on, he might have been right with the caution.
“So… Ran, was it? Enderman name.”
He perked up, ears flicking slightly,” Yes. It’s common. You’re... versed in the culture?” “Eh,” Watson shrugged,” I’ve been taught some things by some old friends. Know a little of the language. I’m a little rusty, though.”
The two of them stuck by each other through a lot of the rest of the tournament. Warbling occasionally in a language others didn’t understand. Though Ran did comment, at one point, that the way he spoke it was very outdated. All he did was shrug and say that the guy who taught him might have thought it was funny. That seemed to be enough of that.
At the end, Ran managed to yank both of them out of the lava, keeping both from a rather unsavory death by fire. They stood behind a pillar, listening to chaos erupt around them. Jackie had won. And he was directed to… kill the cameraman. Oh no, absolutely fucking not.
Watson nudged Ran,” Hey, mate, when the kid goes to deal the killing blow to the camera man, is there any way you can just… blip over there and make sure he doesn’t actually die?”
“... Yeah, I can manage that.”
Ran delivered on his word, too. Before Watson knew it, Karl was behind the pillar with them and no one was the wiser. He lurched up, bewildered, clearly expecting to be anywhere but there.
“...What the honk?”
There it was.
“Ran, mate, if you don’t mind. I’d like to have a private word with him.” A shrug,” Alright. I have some… business to attend to, anyways.” A slight salute, and then he was gone.
Karl had tried to slink away, but Watson firmly grabbed his arm and forced him to stay. He threw a cloak over the man’s shoulders and snuck them out with the crowd. To his credit, he didn’t complain. It was… almost uncomfortable how resigned he was to this, honestly. Eventually, Watson tugged Karl around a corner and out of sight.
“How are you here, Karl Jacobs?”
“What?”
“Don’t play stupid, mate.”
“H-how…” Karl blinked, moving to hold his head,” How do you know who I- have I met you? My memory, um, it isn’t… the greatest. So. If I’m forgetting you, I’m sorry-”
“I, gah, do I really have to spell this out for you?”
“... Yeees.”
“I swear to gods if this is just because I binded my fuckin’ wings…” Watson sighed.
It wasn’t like he could just… take off the binding. He’d pinned them down pretty damn well, it’d take a while to unwrap things. Still, he supposed those were the most defining features about him. Unless… did he still keep that thing in his bag? It was old and busted by now, but he’d replaced it more than once already and didn’t wanna do it again.
He opened his satchel, rustling around for a few moments. A small smile grew on his face as he saw the edge of the green and white rim. With a flourish, Watson pulled out the bucket hat and placed it on his head. It fit better when his hair was longer. Waving his hands, jazz hands, he whispered out a little ‘ta-da!’
“PHILZA MIN-”
“SHHHH!” Watson hissed, shoving a hand over Karl’s mouth,” Not so fuckin’ loud, mate.”
A beat.
“Yeah, though. You died. A very long time ago. How the fuck are you… here, Karl?”
“Uh…” Karl’s eyes darted around,” Would you… believe me if I said that I’m, uh, I’m on… business.”
366 notes ¡ View notes
mrdanielbond ¡ 3 years ago
Text
Wild Nights, Wild Hearts (One-Shot?)
“Mystery man”
[Main characters: Mikael Blomkvist X Reader]
Plot: It is time to head back to work as a lecturer at your university after a successful first semester. Unfortunately for you, one of your guest lecturers is a familiar face from a wild night out…
[A/N: Wrote this ages ago and thought, hey why not? Okay, so I don’t know if this is going to be an actual thing. Like I assume it’s going to be a one-shot. Plus, in all fairness, Mikael is my favourite non-Bond character of Daniel’s, so I thought it’s time to appreciate this man in all his glory. I hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think?]
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Music continued to boom through the speakers. The flashing lights and smoke was intense, but you didn’t care. As long as you were still with your friends, celebrating a birthday amongst the group, that's all that mattered. What also helped was the fact your sultry look managed to get you quite a few free drinks from the bartender. You weren’t used to this kind of attention, often keeping a natural look. However, this was your friend and co-worker’s birthday. You wanted to spice things up and look incredible for her. Of course, when Maisie saw you for the first time, she was surprised. In fact, her jaw dropped at how glamorous you looked. “Girl what the HELL! After Florence Pugh, you are a woman I’d proudly fuck.” You remember her particularly saying and that was the start of an incredibly wild night.
“Javier, can I get another tequila please!” You scream with excitement at the bar, Javier proudly pours you your sixth tequila shot.
“This one’s on the house my darling,  Y/N.” He pushed the shot glass in front of you and your eyes widen with excitement. You had to admit, you do have a thing for tequila so this man feeding you free drinks made the night all the better.
“You spoil me.” You winked as you took the shot and walked off to join the rest of your friends.
The night followed with more dancing and more drinks between your friends. At some point on the floor, you started to get tired and your craving for more drinks kicked in because you found yourself at the bar once again. This time you were looking for something more than a shot. “Okay, so it’s like a sex on the beach but like so much fruiter, like with strawberries!” You tried to explain but in your drunken state, Javier couldn’t help but laugh as he struggled listening to you.
“You know what? You tell me what to do and I’ll make it for you.” He said and a devious grin appeared on your face. So you watched, instructing him on how to make your special cocktail and when he finished, he threw a small umbrella inside it to serve you. You sipped it and couldn’t help but moan. It was glorious...Well maybe it would’ve been if you could taste it at all.
“Can I have what she’s having?” A baritone voice said beside you. You turned with your eyebrow raised. “And I’ll pay for hers.”
He reached into his wallet, still looking into your eyes as he handed Javier his card. You weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the fact you were practically pushed against each other with how packed the bar was but this man was...incredibly handsome. Rugged dirt blonde hair, bright blue eyes that gave you butterflies and his dark blue shirt didn’t help as you couldn’t help but stare at his chest from time to time. Javier turned back to make your drink for the stranger and handed it over to him. “If you’re going to have a cocktail, you’ve got to get it right. Strawberries with the ice.” He said with a smirk but you couldn’t hear him. Not with the music blasting over you...and his dreamy eyes. “What?” You tried to shout out. “I said-” He could barely get a word out in all the noise and you could see it. Quickly, you grabbed his hand and pulled him to a quieter table in the corner. “That’s better - wow.” He suddenly stopped himself when he took another look at you. “You’re really beautiful.” “Smooth.” You chuckled. Alright, so at this point, usually you would say thanks and dip to find your friends. However, this man, bless him, appeared mesmerized by you. He was in awe of you and not just looking at your chest or your figure as though he were some creep. You both hadn’t realised you were still holding hands, leaning into each other.
“Hey, that’s unfair! I’m not usually bold with women.” Something about the mystery man was telling you he was honest. “The strong and silent type is full of surprises.” He said and you swear to god, you could see even he knew what he was doing with that statement. To be honest, he was right. With those eyes, he wouldn’t have to say a single word to get you to go home with him. Throughout the night, you both kept rambling to each other about everything and nothing but you were both having fun, laughing together and putting each other at ease. Your friends must’ve noticed you because they were all staring at the two of you in awe, sharing drinks together, leaning into each other. Then ‘Someone New’ by Hozier began to play. Oh no. Any slow song that played while you were next to a man was a recipe for disaster. The mystery man ,on his high, pulled you closer. “Oh no, I can’t go out there!” You said. “Come on, what happened to that confidence I saw earlier?!” He laughed. “Listen, I can pick and choose when I want to be brave!” You snapped back. “Why are you so bold all of a sudden?!” “What can I say? You bring out a new side to me.” He laughed and before you could fight back, he managed to bring you to the floor. You couldn’t tell him why this was a bad idea but...maybe it wasn’t now you were in his arms, moving around the floor. He held you close and you didn’t want to leave. Not with the high of the drinks and after such a good night filled with laughter. Who knows? Maybe when you wake up the next day, you’d regret it. But for now, you were going to appreciate being here with him...but now you were filled with anticipation, you were craving something. Uh oh. You were craving him. Suddenly, a surge of confidence filled you and you looked up at him. He had already been looking at you. Quickly, he leaned in and you found yourselves kissing with a raw, fiery passion that remained unmatched. You could tell how much he wanted you. In fact, you could feel it as he pressed you against him. But you didn’t care. You ran your fingers through his hair, now the heated kiss becoming lazy until you bit his lip, catching him by surprise. When you pulled back breathlessly, he smirked. “Oh shut up, I know what you’re going to say.” You playfully pushed his chest.
The hangover the next day was going to be ridiculous but you didn’t care. The mystery man had you all over him, and he? All over you.
Rain violently bounced against the wall of your office. Across you sat Maisie, who happened to be an English lecturer. You were one of the lecturers, who had just finished your PHD in Media and Cultural Studies and when offered a job at the university, you couldn’t help yourself but stay. It was decent pay after all and after three years with the university, you realised your students loved you. There were wild lecturers in the school of arts department, who overshared and gladly you weren’t one of them but your students knew you well enough to seem relatable. However, you were hoping that today they would not quiz you on your hangover. Especially your seminar classes, they really loved hearing whatever you went through. Right now, you sat at the table, head against the desk of your office while Maisie watched you groan. “Oh my god.” Was all you could mumble. This was not how you wanted to spend your first week back of the second semester. Your head was pounding violently, you were nauseous, stomach turning. The only thing saving you was the cup of coffee you had in hand, after being forced to take an espresso shot, you were still practically dead. Maisie simply sat there shaking her head. God, she had no right to judge you after goading you into going out. “You should have known not to go hard on the drinks!” “But...free…” The words fell from your lips. “Javier gives free drinks all the time, I’m surprised it doesn’t get him fired. You should’ve known, he did this last time. Actually, that reminds me, where did you go last night?” And then you remembered. You went off with a mystery man, an incredibly handsome mystery man. That, you were fortunate enough to remember. With your head against the table, you smirked, so your friend wouldn’t see. “Don’t pretend as if we didn’t see you walking off and kissing that man, who by the way is a huge score! We spent all night fangirling about him.” Maisie said with excitement but all you could do was groan again, “Come on! You have to tell me! What happened?” “Nothing happened.” You mumbled into your arms. Okay something happened but you still didn’t want to say anything. “Don’t lie to me! You have to tell me, it was my birthday, meaning you have to tell me what YOU did on my day!”
You still refused to move. As your knight in shining armour, the Head of Faculty, Andrew stormed into the room, coffee mug and binder in hand. “Right! Who’s ready for a day full of learning ladies!” Maisie laughed as all you could let out was a groan. “Oh, not you too!” He let out an irritated huff. “This is ridiculous. Seems like there’s a lot of hangovers going around this morning.” “Really?” Maisie said, leaning forward with excitement. “Yeah, I just got off the phone with the guest lecturer. He is bloody hungover too. Could hear it in his voice.” Shit. Guest lecturer. One of the senior lecturers decided to go on a research leave mid-year, which didn’t help your cause as you were left with over one hundred students needing attention. That is when the head of faculty, Andrew, who you adored, decided to call in a guest lecturer, an industry expert in the field to provide you with support. Only thing is, Andrew was unpredictable, so you didn’t know who he had in store. You only knew he was a pretty popular journalist in Europe. Weren’t you supposed to be meeting him before the class? “He said he’s going to be running late.” Thank god for that. You didn’t need Andrew screaming at you about representing the university under a negative light. Before Andrew could get to scolding you, however, your alarm went off. Swiftly, you jumped up and swiped all your folders. “Class! Got to get to class!” Was all you could muster before leaving the room, and your colleagues, incredibly shocked.
Students filled the lecture hall for the first lesson of the semester, which didn’t surprise you. There were a lot of familiar faces as usual. A couple of new ones but most of the students knew when you were out of it and these were the ones present. Andrew followed you in, watching intently, hoping you wouldn’t screw this up. But everyone knew the rules. The moment your mug was placed against the desk, everyone was silent, eagerly listening to hear from you. “Morning everyone! Welcome back, I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas break! Just know that for many of you who took my module last year, yes, I am currently in the process of grading your assignments and the results will be distributed next week. However, I am not here to talk about that. Right now, it is time to turn over a new page! So, for those of you that don’t know me, I am Dr. Y/N Y/LN. I am totally cool without the whole formal title and I am a lecturer in Media and Cultural studies and welcome to my module Introduction to Investigative Journalism. This is where we’ll be in touch with some of the world’s most notorious cases from the role investigative journalism played in the portrayal of criminals from the likes of Charles Ponzi, Pablo Escobar, Charles Bronson to female serial killers such as Velma Barfield and Judy Buenoano. We will be looking at cold cases such as the murder of Olof Palme to the story of D.B. Cooper and corruption amongst transnational and multinational companies such as the fall of Wennerstrom. I know this feels like a criminology course and having the stomach would be ideal, however this is incredibly interesting if you want to look into serious crimes and learn about political corruption. I mean I didn’t have the stomach at first but you learn to live with it.” The students laughed. Andrew was in awe of how professional you managed to be but then again that is why the university needed you. They knew you were the young voice they needed to liven things up and get students intrigued, no matter how hungover or ill you were. “ Now, as you know, Dr. Woodbridge has taken a research leave so today, I believe that Andrew has called in a guest lecturer who will be here throughout the second half of the module to provide support and as an industry expert will hopefully be able to answer the questions you all will have.”
Andrew stepped forward, grinning from ear to ear as he headed to the centre. He gave you a wink to praise the way you pulled yourself together and turned to the rest of the class. “Thank you very much, Y/N. Couldn’t have introduced the module better myself, you have me excited and I’m not even taking it! Anyway, without further ado, I am honoured to introduce to you all your guest lecturer today, he is an investigative journalist and co-owner of Swedish magazine, Millennium, Mikael Blomkvist!” The class gave an applause and so did you as the man walked through the door. Then your applause slowed...hang on a minute. Why did the name Mikael sound familiar? Mikael walked in with a smile, waving at the glass, sporting glasses and a warm cardigan, smiling but then he turned to you and then it hit you. This was YOUR mystery man!
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jincherie ¡ 5 years ago
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kiss it better | jjk
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~ COMMISSION FOR @cinnaminsvga​​ ~
✩ — pairing: jungkook x reader ✩ — genre: college/uni au, smut, cheerleader!jk, pining, borderline crack ✩ — words: 11.7k ✩ — rating: 18+ ✩ — warnings: koo takes a tumble, explicit sexual content; clothed sex, unprotected sex (not recommended), creampie, handjobs,light subby!jk, hand-holding during sex (potent), whining, thigh-riding, vaginal sex, minor hair pulling, public sex (sort of), multiple orgasms, overstimulation, light dirty talk ✩ — notes: out later than intended and a bit longer than intended !! whoops!!! i won’t/don’t charge if i go over the commissioned amount becayse that’s my bad!! but yeah. its been a hot second since i last wrote smut!! also none of my friends were awake to proofread this so….. apologies if it’s shit and has typos! its 2am! pls enjoy and lmk whast u think!!
When one goes to Kim Seokjin for advice, it’s almost guaranteed to never end well. This is something Jungkook learns quickly when he mistakenly follows treasured advice to ‘be smart’ and ‘use his assets’. He just did what he was told! Of course, the execution was a bit poor… and embarrassing. But hey, if rocking up to cheer practice in a skirt doesn’t woo your crush, what will?
masterlist | — posted; 01.03.2020
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TUESDAY, SEMESTER 2 WEEK FOUR
It’s a beautiful day, the sun has just come to peak out from behind the clouds that had earlier obscured its climb from the horizon, and the grass of the Biological Sciences Library courtyard glistens with raindrops left over from the brief shower that prefaced the sun’s belated appearance. Students are finally beginning to emerge from the safety of the undercover walkways and overhangs, venturing boldly to shortcut over the grass. University life resumes, and everything falls back into its place, all as usual.
“Yah, is that Jungkook? Wait what is he—”
Well, everything except for one thing.
A red and black-clad figure slams to a stop right where two students are sitting and minding their own business outside the café attached to the back of the library—there’s no time to say hello. The table rocks dangerously on its beaten, metal leg, the impact of Jungkook’s beeline almost sending it straight to the ground if the two others weren’t already seated there to catch it.
“OW!” Jimin is never one to be quiet in his complaints, all too happy to holler his outrage at the top of his lungs. As his oldest hyung would say, no attention is bad attention. “Hey you almost jammed my fingers!”
Startled as Taehyung might have been, his focus is quickly shifted to other things. His wide eyes scan Jungkook’s panting form, taking in the clothes clinging to him like a second skin and the beet red colour of his face and ears. It’s not hard to put two and two together, but what comes out of his mouth isn’t exactly the most pressing thing he wants to ask, “Jungkook, why are you wearing the female cheer leading uniform I gave you?”
There’s a somewhat crazed look that makes itself known in the youngest’s eyes. “AHA!” he throws a finger in Taehyungs face, accusing. “So you ADMIT it’s a female uniform! Taehyung, you ass, how could you!”
Taehyung’s face is a question mark and Jimin squints, confused and still huffy about nearly losing his fingers and his triple-shot iced caramel latte that he may or may not have charmed the barista into gifting him for free. He wants to know what is going on and he wants to know NOW, damn it!
“What are you on about?” he asks, wrinkling his nose as he takes his drink into hand to prevent any future risk of spillage. “Why do you look like that time you ran the half-marathon on a dare?”
Jungkook glares at him, but it’s about as effective as it would be coming from a puppy. “Be quiet and sip your drink,” he says boldly, still attempting to get his breathing under control. Jimin considers throwing a retort back but ultimately decides against, it, shrugging and doing just that. He doesn’t want it getting warm, after all.  
“Uh, yeah,” Taehyung says, sounding like he is a split second away from tacking on ‘duh’ at the end. “You asked me for a cheerleading uniform? I thought you knew some chick that needed a spare, I didn’t know you wanted one to wear.”
At Jungkook’s dumbfounded expression, Taehyung takes the liberty of continuing. “I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with it? You look surprisingly hot in a skirt, your ass looks fine as hell. But you seem kind of angry so IN MY DEFENSE, how was I supposed to know? That you wanted a male uniform? You never specified so—”
While each word that came out of Taehyung’s mouth just seemed to rile him up more, a different look passes over Jungkook’s features at that comment. “Wait, my ass looks good?” He straightens, attempting to peer over his own shoulder to catch a glimpse. “I wonder if she… No!”
He shakes his head suddenly to clear those thoughts and get back on track, whipping that same accusing finger in Taehyung’s face once more and levelling him with a renewed glare. 
“Because of you, I just had the most humiliating experience of my life, and it was all in front of you-know-who!” His voice starts strong, but as he continues it shrinks to more of an angry whisper, his brows scrunched in a clear display of his displeasure. “I literally am about to commit seppuku.”
“Weeb,” Jimin utters at the same time as Taehyung asks, “y/n?” Jimin’s head whips up at the keyword. 
Jungkook’s fight has all but left him at this point, and he pulls out one of the metal chairs to slump in it, defeatedly. His ears are turning crimson again as he recalls the events that had traumatised him so, and he slams his head to the table with a groan, muttering to himself in a voice that sounds dangerously like a sob.
“—stupid, was so stupid of me. I never should have asked Seokjin-hyung for advice. For actually listening I deserve nothing short of death. I’m so embarrassed I’m gonna throw myself into the lake.”
“Don’t throw yourself in there, think of the fishes—” Taehyung says at the same time as Jimin squawks, “WHAT?! You got advice from Seokjin?! He knows who your crush is? Oh my god, you’re more stupid than I thought…”
It’s all Jungkook can do to simply rest his head on the grubby-feeling table, eyes unfocused as he stares into the distance and regrets almost every single decision he has made in his waking life. 
FOUR DAYS EARLIER
“My roommate,” Seokjin says, in between gratuitous sips of his monstrously sugary drink. “I think I’m almost about to get him to crack.”
“I feel bad for him,” you say, not looking up from your laptop despite the urge to gorge on your own drink. You made a goal not to look like a goblin when you woke up this morning and sipping your drink at a reasonable pace is a good start. “Being stuck in close quarters with you all the time. No doubt he needs therapy by now.”
As expected, Seokjin ignores you. You wonder if this is how he has managed not to get usurped as leader of the Contemporary Poetry Performance Club.
(To condense a very long story— he didn’t take being kicked out of the Drama Club very well. That’s on him though, he probably shouldn’t have called the Club Leader a tasteless fool for ordering a salad with his Happy Meal instead of nuggets. But, you digress.)
“I think I’m getting close these days,” the male muses, not-so-subtly making a reach for the McDonalds apple pie you have resting on the table next to your laptop. You smack his hand away without so much as a blink, more than used to having to defend any and all food from his wandering hands by this point. He continues, unaffected by the rebuttal, “Like, really close. It’s not long before my unrelenting bastardous antics wear him down and he finally breaks, spilling all his deepest secrets and confessing his long-time crush on me, thus allowing me to bring this act of friends-to-lovers pining to a close and get to the steamy stuff. “
At his spiel, you finally look at him, sporting a concerned and confused expression, if not somewhat intrigued. “… Are you talking about Jungkook?”
Seokjin chokes on the long sip he’d begun to drag up the straw, indignance making his voice rise. “NO, dumbass, I’m talking about Namjoon! Although…” He pauses only to bring a finger to stroke his chin, like a villain straight from an episode of Lazy Town, “You know, I never thought I’d be one for that harem shit, but now I think about it…”
“Gross,” you groan, wrinkling your nose. Seokjin releases a villainous cackle and you have no choice but to raise your fist in promise. He gets the message and quietens down immediately.
“No, but speaking of that little twerp,” Seokjin quickly starts up again, placing his drink down on the table. You feel an ounce of regret, knowing that means he’s about to talk for a longer time than you’re ready for. “I’m close to breaking him too.”
“He told you who his crush is?” you ask, brows raising in shock. Seokjin lets out a great sigh like the weight of the world is on his shoulders, making you snort.
“No,” he grumbles, before brightening straight after. “But! I’m getting close. He came to me for advice this morning.”
At his words, you’ve now completely abandoned whatever you were doing on your laptop and are looking at him in disbelief. “You’re lying.”
“Am not!” Seokjin denies, huffy. “He did! He wanted help making his crush fall in love with him, and so of course he came to me, Kim Seokjin, master of the heart and modern-day cupid.”
You pin him with a deadpan look. “Namjoon was out, wasn’t he.”
Seokjin’s glare is all the answer you need. He continues like you hadn’t even spoken in the first place.
“And since he so wisely came to me, of all people, and put his love life in my wise, gentle hands, I gave him the best advice anyone could possibly get.” The way his chest has swelled with pride and he’s looking all-too-pleased with himself doesn’t fill you with a good feeling. “I told him to play it smart, and use his assets.”
At first, you’re confused. “What, like… his cuteness? His endearing personality?”
“NO, dumbass, his assets! His ass! His thighs! His itty-bitty waist!” You think you hear him muttering something like ‘that lucky bitch’ under his breath, but can’t be sure. “Also, don’t think I missed you calling him cute, y/n. I’m filing that shit away for later.”
“I’ll kill you,” you inform him, but the threat has long since lost its impact. He rolls his eyes.
“Shut up, we both already know exactly how 'peggable’ you think he is.” He takes a haughty sip of his drink like he knows he’s right, and you hate that he is. “It’s not the most incriminating thing I have on you.”
You make the strategic decision not to say anything and dig your hole deeper, and Seokjin seems pleased at your silent admit of defeat.
“Anyway,” he says again, smacking the cream on top of his drink down into the liquid with a spoon. There is some fallout, but that’s never stopped him before. “Kid’s dumb as shit but pure of heart. I’m interested to see whether he will actually take my advice.”
“He won’t for sure,” you scoff, returning to your laptop at last. “Anyone who takes your advice is guaranteed to have an empty head and quarter of a brain cell to their name. Jungkook is smarter than that.”
As expected, Seokjin squawks in outrage, and it harmonises with the ambience of dead silence in your corner of the library. He doesn’t let the topic rest for the remainder of the day.    
WEDNESDAY, WEEK FIVE
You think that the day Jungkook first rocked up to cheer practice at the gym a week ago at the same time you were coaching the women’s basketball team, is one firmly burned into your memory for the rest of your life. And, honest to god, you wouldn’t have it any other way.  
Because the boy, in all his slim-waisted, sculpted-ass-and-thighs glory, had rocked up in a cheerleading crop top and skirt.
You have absolutely no idea why he decided to wear that to his first session after joining, but you do know that while the sight of him usually makes you drool, the sight of him in that made your brain cease all higher functioning and you, in essence, became a dog. You almost barked when you saw him, for real.
Even from across the room though, you’d quickly been able to gather that he hadn’t worn it on purpose (somehow), as his face flushed bright crimson and he quickly began to look like he wanted to neck himself in the middle of the gym. Yoongi, another bastard friend of yours who through a series of unfortunate events and regrettable decisions (for him) had become the cheer captain, had been insulted that Jungkook had shown up like that and “hadn’t taken cheer seriously”, and so had given him a punishment. Yoongi said that if he wanted to rock up in a skirt so badly, then for every coming practice he had to wear a skirt again.
Had you not been busy drooling you probably would have felt bad for Jungkook, as you did later when Yoongi filled you in. As it were, in the moment you’d nearly copped a basketball to the face for being so distracted. Regrettably, you’d had to turn away from Jungkook and back to your actual duties: coaching. 
Although with Yoongi being out for your blood, you have had plenty of opportunities in the past week to ogle to your heart’s desire. A real shameful amount, if you’re being honest with yourself.
“Bora!” you call, watching the girl in question halt across the gym. “Fix your footwork or I’m gonna smack you!”
The girl rolls her eyes and turns away, flicking a ponytail of dark hair over her shoulder as she does so, but listens to what you say. The familiar squeak of rubber on gym flooring fills the air as she starts the drill anew. She has a tendency to get lazy and sloppy in her movements if you don’t ride her ass, and she knows it as much as you do.
“How did you even managed to get the coaching position?” Seulgi asks from next to you, her response almost cut off by a loud racket from the cheer side of the gym. It takes all of your willpower not to fall into the trap and look over. “I feel like people like you shouldn’t be in positions of power.”
You don’t even bother arguing with her since she’s technically right and you agree. “Sheer dumb luck,” you tell her, risking a glance to the side if only to give Yoongi the stink eye. “Actually, if you really wanna know, I only went for it because Yoongi wanted it and he did something that really soured my yoghurt and pissed me off. So I applied out of spite. I probably shouldn’t have gotten the job though.”
“Huh,” Seulgi voices, eyes unfocused. “Well you’re not too bad for a fake. The team has actually been improving since you took over.”
“That’s probably because you guys went through coaches so fast for a while that for like, six months you didn’t really have one.”
“Touché.”
The only reason the girl is on the sidelines in the first place is because she’d looked over at the wrong time and caught it just as Jungkook started one of the tumbling routines, getting it almost perfect on the first go and in the process flashing his pert ass to the air and any sorry beholders. He might have been wearing bike shorts under the punishment skirt he was modelling, and he might have traded the crop top for a singlet of reasonable length, but it was still a dangerous, nay lethal sight. You’d looked over at the same time so you knew why and how Seulgi managed to tumble and trip so terribly mid-drill. She rolled her ankle so bad that as she sits next to you right now with ice on it, it looks like there’s an entire boiled egg beneath the surface of her skin. It’s kind of gross but also kind of hard to look away from. 
Back to the topic at hand, there is just something about the sheer athleticism and heaven-blessed ease with which Jungkook backflips and cartwheels across the mat that turns you into a brainless slab of goo. You’re unsurprised that Seulgi got distracted and ended up hurting herself as a result of it.
The afternoon flies by and before you know it, it’s dark outside, and you’ve finished riding the collective women’s basketball team’s ass for the day. As they disperse and leave the gym at a leisurely pace, you collect Seulgi and help her towards the gym locker room to get some fresh ice for her ankle before she journeys to visit the university nurse. 
The cheer squad has just about finished up their own practice, and one by one they begin to filter out of the gym. Yoongi waddles over to where you stand by the door, eyeing Seulgi with a knowing look.
“Got distracted at the wrong time, huh?” He asks, very much already knowing the answer. You give him a dirty look while Seulgi goes bright pink.
Yoongi adjusts the collar of his university sports jacket, puffing his chest out. “That’s our golden boy for ya,” he brags, sounding very much like one of the aunties and old women you find gossiping on the street near the markets. “He was born for cheer. It’s like he’s been tumbling since the day he was born. Probably even came out doing a backflip.”
You want to tell him to stop pulling shit out of his ass, but you can’t bring yourself to say anything when you agree so wholeheartedly. You’re saved from having to summon a response when in the next second, Yoongi gets the urge to turn and catches Jungkook red-handed on his way out of the gym. He seems in a hurry, moving almost like he’s trying to sneak out unnoticed, but halts at the unmistakable sound of Yoongi’s holler when it breaches the air.
“Ah there he is— Jungkook-ah!” Even while calling out, Yoongi somehow still has an indolent, lazy drawl. “Good job today! Also, proud of you for committing to your punishment. Keep it up!”
The poor raven-haired boy had already looked somewhat mortified at being singled out amongst the students exiting the gym, but now as Yoongi finishes speaking and his big doe eyes flick to the side and take in you and Seulgi listening in, his face very suddenly and violently erupts into a blush.
“Th-thanks,” he squeaks, nodding, the tips of his ears darkening to match his face. His eyes are flicking from you to Yoongi in such a way he almost reminds you of a scared rodent. When it becomes clear he has nothing more to say, he turns on his heel and flees in the direction of the locker room. For his sake, you don’t ogle him as he goes. There’s a time and a place, and he seems so embarrassed that you’d feel bad for checking him out right now. 
“… He’s so cute,” Yoongi remarks a few seconds after Jungkook disappears out the door, gaze still trained in the direction he’d left. “No wonder I always look over and see you drooling, y/n.”
You agree with the first part, but honestly… you could have done without that second comment. You give him the stink eye to let him know just that, before tapping Seulgi and readjusting your grip in preparation to walk once more.
“If you’re immune, Min, you’re not human,” Seulgi says, cheeky glint in her eye. Your heart warms—you can always count on her to defend you in the face of life’s meanies.
SATURDAY, WEEK 5
It’s not often you find yourself making the long, arduous trek down the street to the apartment building where Seokjin et al. live, but it does happen on the occasion. If possible, you like to make the journey in the morning or the afternoon, because there is little to no cover on the path that takes you there and the only thing you like less than being in the sun when you don’t have to is sweating.
Still, you make the trek today, even though it’s technically past the point in the morning where you would refuse. The heat starts to come anywhere from 8 to 9 o’clock, even earlier on the stinkier days. Call you lazy, but you stick by your own rules because they work and reduce your suffering considerably. 
Namjoon is one of your project partners in a random elective the two of you chose, and he was meant to give you a part of the assignment he’d been working on yesterday but, of course, forgot it. And then again today, when he was meant to drop it off on his way to work, he forgot it once more. So here you are, walking to his stupid apartment and preparing to break in because it’s due next week and you need his part to finish yours, damn it. 
Thankfully, air conditioning greets you the second you step inside the building and cools down whatever heat has managed to cling to your form from outside. Luck is on your side—no sweat today, babey! In a slightly better mood now that you’re out of the sun, you follow the path your legs have committed to memory to Namjoon’s apartment. 
Normally you’d rely on someone being home to let you in so you can ransack Namjoon’s room, but in his apologetic text he’d informed you that everyone is out and so with a great, big sigh you’d resigned yourself and dug the lockpicking set you received one Christmas out from under your bed. It’s heavy in your back pocket now as you walk down the hallway of the floor their apartment is on, already feeling like you’ve committed a crime. Before you can even throw yourself into thoughts of which tool would work best on their front door, you catch sight of something you most definitely weren’t expecting. 
There’s someone else in front of the apartment door, jiggling the doorknob and attempting to work it. You don’t know if they realise its locked and are trying their luck anyway, or whether they’ve yet to figure it out, but while their back is turned to you they have provided you with an excellent view.
Broad shoulders with tan skin peaking out from below a muscle singlet and glistening with sweat where their body catches the light. Dark curls are plastered to the back of their neck, arms out and a tattoo sleeve on one leading your gaze down its length. He’s very athletic, you gather of the stranger immediately, and you’re almost drooling at the way his bicep shifts and tenses as he tries the doorknob once more. Your gaze finally frees itself and scans over the rest of him; defined back, tiny waist, nice butt, thick thighs—
Wait. You know that waist. The sight of it bared by a skimpy cheerleading outfit is one you’ve committed to memory.
“Jungkook?” you say, feeling your stomach dip in excitement. Does it always do that when you see him? You can’t remember.
At the sound of your voice and how close it is, the male jumps in fright and lets out a noise eerily close to a squeak. He spins, slamming his back against the door and smacking a hand over his heart.
“Oh my god,” he breathes, eyes closing and head falling back against the door with a thud. The sight is borderline sinful when combined with his damp hair and sweaty form, and your thoughts threaten to take a dangerous route before you reign them in. You smack your libido back in place— down, girl! “y/n, you scared the living shit out of me.”
A moment passes before his eyes snap open and the breath leaves him in a whoosh, and he’s looking at you like a cornered rabbit, cheeks already warming in his fluster. “W-wait, y/n? What… What are you doing here?”
Cute. If you could, you think you’d pack him up and put him in your pocket.  
You ignore his question only for the sake of asking him your own—much less incriminating as a choice. “Are you trying to break into your own apartment, Mister Jungkook?”
Instantly, as you’d almost come to expect at this point, his cheeks flush cutely. 
“Wh- I, uh…” he swallows and clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. “No! Kind of? I went for a jog earlier and Namjoon-hyung kind of… uh… he locked me out.”
As he speaks, you’re reminded of how much you actually like his voice. It’s smooth, melodious; even when its shaking slightly from nerves. Why is he nervous? The longer you stand in his presence the more curious you become. You kind of want to tease him a little.
You hum, a smile curling the corners of your lips and one of your brows raising.  “Ah, so he’s scorned both of us, I see. But fear not, little gumdrop!”
He’s staring at you in something akin to flustered bewilderment as you reach behind you and pull out your lockpicking kit, brandishing it like a trophy. “I have the solution!”
“…” He’s stunned into silence, it seems, but you don’t mind. The look on his face right now is super cute—you kind of want to pinch his cheeks. Okay, damn it, you can’t help it—you pinch his cheek and make a short cooing noise as you step past, preparing to help him break into his apartment. At least this way it feels less like a crime and more like a service.
(You sneak a sly look back at Jungkook as you pass him, and your heart squeezes at the sight of his cheeks flushing pink from your teasing action, eyes wide as they follow your form. This boy is gonna kill you one day.)
Usually you have a bit of trouble picking locks (you don’t do it often) but you crack this one surprisingly fast, and before you know it the door is swinging open and you’re letting out a noise of glee.
“Excellent!” you announce, before darting right in to search for what you came for. Namjoon left it conveniently on the dining table, so you dash over and grab the folder and USB before turning around to be on your merry way. 
When you return to the door, Jungkook is still standing there, tattooed hand pressed to the cheek you’d pinched – which are bright red, by the way— and his eyes somewhat dazed.
“See you at practice later, Jungkook!” you say, waving the folder to accentuate the farewell. “Don’t forget the punishment skirt! You look too good in it, it would be a crime to forget it.”
Once you’re done speaking, you turn back the way you’re walking, missing the facial expression that accompanies his flustered sputtering of a goodbye. Your stomach still flips in excitement as you retreat, a skip in your step, and you can’t help but think it wouldn’t be a bad thing if you ended up seeing more of Jungkook outside of practice.
WEDNESDAY, WEEK 6
You’re sitting in the campus sushi place, escaping the midday heat and grabbing something to eat, minding your own business. It is, though, a nice day and you don’t mind sitting back and just admiring it. This changes when a figure suddenly comes bolting towards you from a distance and nearly bowls you and the contents of your sushi container over.
“SEOKJIN!” you exclaim, barely having saved your food from a sudden and unfortunate meet & greet with the floor. You give him a glare strong enough to kill. “What the hell! My karaage chicken!!! Dude you KNOW they only make a certain amount of these per day, you almost made me drop it and I hadn’t even taken a bit yet! Honestly! You—”
“Shut! Shut up!” Seokjin grips you by the shoulders, giving you a shake; it makes your eyes lock-on to his flushed face, his breath coming in pants from his exertion. “Shut up I have something to say and it’s important!”
“Stop shaking me!” you cry, wriggling out of his grip and leaning as far back into your chair as you can to get away from this nutcase. “And what?! You finally slipped up and Namjoon found all the secret letters you write for him when you’re horny?!”
“No, better!” Seokjin makes like he’s going to grab your shoulders again and you smack his hands away. He continues, eyes alight with something akin to glee that makes him look just a little bit crazy. “I finally did it! I found out who that twerp’s crush is! You won’t beli—”
“What?!” you sputter, your gut churning for some reason. Is the sushi you ate off? “He told you? No way he would be stupid enough to tell you—”
“Hey!” the male cries, indignant. “I resent that! Also no, he didn’t technically tell me, but I have people on the inside…”
It takes a moment for you to scan through people in your head before it clicks. You gasp. “You bullied it out of his friends?! Seokjin! Taehyung and Jimin don’t deserve that!”
“I didn’t bully them! They told me of their own accord!” He points a finger at you in retribution. “Albeit, it was by accident, but I digress.”
You’re shaking your head, returning to your sushi and ignoring the odd sensations in your gut. “This is blood information, man. I don’t know if I can sit and be accomplice to—”
“It’s you!” Seokjin blurts, sticking his pink-haired head right in your face. “The twerp has a crush on you! Finally, at least one of my shipping dreams is coming true!”
You’re so shocked by the information literally thrown in your face that you honest to god almost drop your sushi, again. You stare at the male, mouth open, as you flounder to get some order back in your thoughts.
The first thing you think to say is—“What? No way. Your info is dodgy, man.”
“Look, I know you’re sensitive so I try not to say this often, but are you dumb, y/n?” Seokjin stands back now, hand on his hip.  The look he’s giving you isn’t impressed. “It makes so much sense! Why else would he sign up to cheerleading in a skirt to use his assets if it wasn’t on at the same time as whatever his crush does? Honestly, I should have seen it sooner—the way he goes bright pink every time he sees you and his eyes sparkle like an anime girl every time we mention you. I just thought he was scared of girls or had pinkeye or somethin’.”
You kind of want to smack him, but the rest of you is busy attempting to process all the information unloaded on you. Your stomach gives a giddy flip, and you decide it can only mean one thing in the wake of finding out that Jungkook’s mysterious crush is you.
Maybe, just maybe, you like him too.
…
You’re gonna pursue him. 
THURSDAY, WEEK 7
It seems that Jungkook has heard that his crush on you has been leaked, because you’ve been trying to track him down and confirm it ever since last week and he’s been avoiding you like the plague. You think you see him kicking up dust as he retreats as fast as his legs will take him around hallway corners when he sees you at the other end, you catch glimpses of him across courtyards as he spins and flees in the opposite directions. A part of you wonders whether its because he does indeed have a crush on you and is embarrassed that you know, of whether it’s because he doesn’t have a crush on you and is embarrassed that you might think he does. 
Well, you can’t know until you talk to him and it seems like you won’t be able to talk to him unless you ambush him in the men’s toilets or something. Which, by the way, isn’t something you’re going to do because even though your friends might be crazy, you’re most definitely not. 
It was even to the point that Jungkook missed the first two practices after you found out, and you have no doubt that he would have avoided you by missing even more had Yoongi not threatened him with adding a crop top to his punishment attire should he miss another practice. He’d showed up for the next one but every time he came within five metres of you he blushed and kept his eyes to the ground, fleeing as soon as he can. 
It’s a little bit frustrating, and he’s still cute when he acts all shy, but you really wish you could track him down just so you know whether its true or not.
Perhaps, with time, he’ll grow a little less skittish and let you get close enough to start a conversation. You just have to hold out hope that a moment will come that will allow you to start bridging things back together with the two of you.
FRIDAY, WEEK 7
That moment comes sooner than you expect when, just the next day, you round a corner alongside Seulgi, having just come from the women’s locker rooms, and walk straight into someone. It’s like walking into a brick wall and kind of hurts. You stumble and let out a sound in pained surprise, but manage to stay on your feet for the most part— the joy at that moment of success passes quickly when you become aware of the cool feeling seeping down your thigh and stomach.
Before even looking to see who you walked into, your gaze is directed down to see what was spilt on you— it’s light pink, and the sugary sweet scent that brushes your nose and sticky sensation that begins to make itself known on your skin are something you recognise instantly.
Strawberry milk.
You look up in something akin to horror, but the expression all but falls from your face when you see who the culprit is.
Jungkook stands there looking very much like a deer caught in headlights, drink carton crumpled and empty in his hand now that its contents are all over your front. As you gaze at him you watch the tip of his ears turn bright red, eyes wide and so unguarded you swear you can see the thoughts whipping through his mind beyond them. You also see the instant regret and mortification that washes over his boyish features as he realises what has just happened and who he has spilt his drink on.
“y-y/n—” he stutters, voice caught in his throat. Whatever he was planning on saying is quickly overpowered by an obnoxious voice from his side.
You hadn’t even noticed Yoongi was walking alongside Jungkook until you hear him speak, “Wow, you know what you were coming around that corner so hard and fast that this is on you, y/n.”
When Yoongi first started talking, Jungkook had seemed relieved, but now a sense of panic has taken over his features. 
“N-no! I am so sorry! This was my fault, I shouldn’t have had it open when I couldn’t even drink it yet. I just really like strawberry milk, and…” He’s so endearingly remorseful as he speaks, big puppy eyes looking apologetically into your own like he’s searching for any hint of forgiveness there to spare.
For a moment you’re absolutely blindsided by the way he just made your heart squeeze in your chest with how damn cute he is, but you recover just in time to catch it as the shocked expression on Yoongi’s face melds into something devious and fitting for his bastardly title.
“Right, he’s right, totally our bad,” Yoongi says, doing a complete 180 and bewildering both you and Seulgi beside you. “Wow, look at your pants, totally soaked through man. Here, come with me— it’s only fair we help grab you something to change into.”
“What—” you don’t get to finish before the cat-faced bastard grabs you by the arm and begins dragging you down the hall in the direction you came from. Seulgi and Jungkook remain in place, stunned by the turn in events. 
“Jungkook, head to practice and get them started! I want some pyramid practice, and then some tumbling from you and the others. Chop chop!” — is all Yoongi throws over his shoulder in dismissal, dragging you where you now realise is one of the other locker rooms. You gape at him as he walks straight up to the one that has been locked for months and opens it with a key.
Catching your expression, he shrugs. “Sometimes you just need a place of your own to hoard things.”
You don’t understand what he’s talking about until you step in and see a table in the corner near the doorway piled high with first aid supplies, twiggy sticks and energy drinks. Your bewildered subsequent scan of the room for more treasured objects is cut short when a lump of clothing smacks you in the face.
You just barely manage to fumble it into your grasp, unable to swallow your groan when you see what it is from the pattern alone.
“It’s the only thing spare,” Yoongi says, radiating true goblin energy. You don’t trust him as far as you can throw him right now but you don’t know where to look to disprove him. “Try not to get my cheerleaders too worked up.”
You have an inkling as to why he’s done this from his words, but can’t confirm it right now. You huff, moving off to one of the stalls. 
“If people get flashed, that’s on you.”
Ten minutes later sees you back in the open gymnasium with cool air brushing your legs that usually only get to see the light of day through rips in your jeans. You set your team to their tasks and drills already, so now you’re left alone with your thoughts. You know for sure now why Yoongi made you change into the cheerleading skirt.
Because ever since you walked out in it and nearly made him fall flat on his face in shock, Jungkook hasn’t been able to keep the blush off his cheeks or his eyes away from you for more than a few minutes at a time. You feel slightly empowered, contrary to how you thought the dangerously short piece of clothing was going to make you feel. 
You have a nice body, you’re comfortable admitting it, and the way that your unplanned flaunting of it seems to be affecting Jungkook… well it’s a nice stroke of the ego, you won’t lie, but it also makes your stomach flip giddily. God, you want him. You’ve always thought he was cute but ever since he joined cheer and rocked up in that skirt like a sweet, hot fool, it was over for you. He’s so… ugh.
Trucking through the practice of your team is, for once, a struggle. It’s so hard not to look over every few seconds to catch Jungkook when you can feel his gaze on you, and you know that once you give in you won’t be able to help being distracted afterwards. It’s a miracle you get through to the end of it while remaining sane. 
As your practice wraps up for the day, you allow yourself a glimpse to the side at last. What you see is a sweaty, panting Jungkook, the muscles of his arms straining as he holds up a brunette you vaguely recall as Tzuyu above his head. Wow, you’re actually a little startled at how much arousal just washed through you— is this normal? Maybe you’re more whipped than you thought. You don’t know.
What you do know, however, is that you want that boy, and right now especially you want to mess with him. Call it a con of being around such bastardous friends all the time, but you’re really feeling the urge. You barely manage to hold yourself back, marvelling at the animal he seems to reduce you to with just a flex of his bicep.
The practice for your basketball team finishes before cheerleading; Yoongi is a ruthless coach and relentless when it comes to formations and perfecting routines. More often than not their practices end long after yours. As your girls begin to filter out of the gymnasium, the cheer squad are still going. You make to follow after, but your name is called from the other side of the gym by a voice you recognise but know instantly shouldn’t be here. 
“y/n! Come here! Don’t ignore me!” Seokjin is the fiend in question, hollering at such an unmistakable frequency that you couldn’t ignore it if you tried. It’s like he’s followed in the footsteps of cats and has pinpointed the exact frequency that a baby’s cry is at, and is now using it to his advantage. You turn, wary, and see him waving like a dumbass. “Come here! Don’t make me pspspsps!”
Now annoyed, you stomp over if only so you can get within beating range. As soon as you reach a few feet away he ducks behind Yoongi though, so you don’t get to follow through on your caveman instincts to beat him over the head with a rock.
“What?” you ask, giving him a stinky look. “Are you like, stalking me or something? Why are you so obsessed with me?”
You can tell he wants to laugh, but his instinct to rile you up overpowers the humour of what you said. “You think you’re worth stalking? I don’t need to stalk you to know that your day consists almost entirely of eating, shitting, and staring at a certain ass.”
Well, he has you there. You shrug, “I’m a simple girl.”
Seokjin is momentarily bewildered that you didn’t rise to his bait and Yoongi chokes on his laughter beside you, the sound coming out squeaky. You’re glad someone is laughing, it makes your dick hard when people find you funny. Again, you’re a simple girl.
“Nice outfit, by the way,” Seokjin says. Apparently it doesn’t take him long to recover, and he’s already shifted topics. 
Yoongi, who had broken away to guide his team for a moment, chimes back in at the taller male’s comment. “It’s all apart of the keikaku, man. Everything is going perfectly. My golden boy is almost too fun to torment. I’ve tasted power and now I don’t know how to stop.”
“Who?” Seokjin asks, more out of habit than anything, before looking over to Yoongi’s minions and letting out a sound of realisation. “Ahh… Mister Jungkook.”
You swear you see the male in question, who is waiting his turn to begin the tumbling routine Yoongi has changed them onto, stiffen. You’re not sure whether it is a trick of the light or not, though, because in the next second he’s shuffling forward to second in line, juggling his weight from foot to foot with restless energy. His eyes are trained on his teammates flipping across the matts. 
“So you know too? y/n, you big-mouthed whore!” Seokjin exclaims, pinning you with an exaggerated look of scandal. Jungkook trips slightly in his step as he moves to the front of the line, barely a few metres away.
You don’t bother defending yourself, since Yoongi speaks before you can anyway. “That y/n likes Jungkook and has wanted to peg his cute ass since forever? Yeah, I know.”
The timing of Yoongi’s response is truly unfortunate. As he started speaking, Jungkook began his run up— and it seems that whatever snippet he heard as he started were enough to throw him off completely. He goes into the front flip kind of wonky, and you have a feeling of dread creep up as you watch him.
He doesn’t do the mid-air turns he is meant to, and instead goes to land after just one flip— the timing is off, though, and your breath hisses through your teeth and you physically cringe as you watch his ankle roll upon landing. 
“Ah SHIT!” he yelps, quickly dropping to the mat and removing pressure from his foot. You feel frozen as you watch, a large number of his teammates running over and asking him if he’s okay.
“Oh feck,” Yoongi says, checking his watch as he mutters to himself. “Shit. Okay we need to practice and only have the gym for another forty-five minutes, but he needs that looked at asap. Who…”
Barely a split-second passes before he’s looking right at you imploringly, with an inappropriately devious glint in the back of his eyes. 
“y/n, you’re free and you have first aid training right? Can you take him to get that wrapped and iced up?” He’s not even done asking you before he’s pushing you in the direction of the male currently curled on the floor. “That room should still be open— I forgot to lock it earlier.”
“Wait, I actually have—” you’re about to let him know about the mountain of schoolwork you have to catch up on, but of course he’s not having any of it. He’s already barking at his squad.
“Okay, everyone, back off and back to tumbling! y/n here will take care of our golden boy, we have the gym for the next forty-five minutes and we’re gonna make the most of it, damn it!”
Yoongi abandons you at Jungkook’s side, and at his command the rest of the cheerleader begrudgingly disperse— you think you catch a few of the female ones giving you the stink eye at their lost opportunity, and you know it shouldn’t stroke your ego but still it does. 
“I guess this is how the Kookie crumbled, huh,” you say, embarrassed that he could have heard all of what Yoongi said and attempting to cope using the classic— humour. 
Jungkook, who had turned his wide eyes and red face to you the second you started talking, now seems to be blushing harder. Evidently, for a number of reasons, he is mortified. It’s like he’s trying to hide behind the long curls that have fallen into his face. Needless to say, it’s not successful, and now both of you are embarrassed. One of you needs to take the lead.
But right now neither of you are wearing the pants.
“Alright, let’s get that looked at,” you say, wincing as you look at his ankle already beginning to swell. “Arms up.”
He obeys instantly and without question, and you’re torn between the primal powers within you wanting to both cuddle him and to drop your panties then and there. 
Getting Jungkook to a standing position while he can only use one leg is harder than you could have imagined, but you know that there’s no way you would have been able to lift him had he not helped you carry his weight. Once he’s upright and his arm is around your shoulder (still panting slightly and glistening with sweat, as you’re trying not to think about) you begin the arduous journey to the locker room Yoongi showed you earlier. 
Jungkook doesn’t really say anything during the trip there, and neither do you— except he has an excuse, considering he’s probably in a fair bit of pain right now. You don’t have an excuse, except that you’re trying desperately not to think about how you can feel each hard line of his body against you right now. It’s a whole-brain engaging kind of activity.
Thankfully, the room is unlocked as Yoongi said, and you grab a towel to lay across one of the cleaner looking benches on the far side of the room— just because its cleaner than the others doesn’t mean it’s clean, per se. You smile when you see Jungkook’s thankful expression.
“Right,” you say, staying in front of where he’s sitting for a moment as you shake your arms out; the boy really is just all muscle, honestly. “Pop your ankle up on the bench, and I’ll grab some ice and stuff to wrap it.”
Jungkook nods, obeying wordlessly. His cheeks still are tainted the slightest pink, and he’s making a point to avoid meeting your gaze. Fighting a smile, you move to Yoongi’s stash and grab what you need, spotting some high-end painkillers and immediately adding them to the pile in your arms.
When you return to his side, you seat yourself on the bench beside his leg— thankfully, they’re wide enough that neither your butt nor Jungkook’s leg has to be sacrificed for the fit. You go through the motions with him, poking and prodding and bending to assess the damage; it’s just a bad sprain, but damn if each watery look he gets at the pain doesn’t make you want to coddle him to death. 
Surprisingly, he’s still silent as you go about icing and wrapping his ankle. You contemplated filling the silence but you’re not good at chit chat or small talk, so refrain and settle for humming softly instead. Considering the rollercoaster of feelings he’s spun you through today, you’re almost disappointed that a wrap on his ankle is all that’s going to come of this. 
Which is stupid, of course. You know. You digress.
You’re still somewhat disappointed as you finish up, popping the excess bandage back in its container. “Okay! You’ll need to…”
You make the mistake of meeting his gaze, and for once he doesn’t shy away from it— there’s something about them, the endless chocolate depths and the doe-eyed look, that completely disarms you for a moment. Blinking, it takes all your might to stop yourself from studying as you continue. “Ahem, uh… you’ll need to keep it elevated, when possible. Compressing it is ideal. Also, for swelling, ice it for 20-30 minutes every 2-3 hours for the first day or so…”
He blinks up at you, and you smile. “Any questions?”
Something intriguing crosses his gaze and he bites his lip, flushing slightly. Oh, he is doing a number on your willpower. You need to get out of here.
“Yeah, uh…” He clears his throat, continuing straight away. You watch even more colour rush to his cheeks, his Adam’s apple bobbing nervously. “About earlier… when I stacked it… Was what Yoongi said true?”
Well. You were not… expecting that. For a moment you’re stunned into silence, self control hanging by a thread. “What… Yoongi said?”
Jungkook gives you a look like he can’t believe you’re making him say it. “That you, um…”
Humiliated but deciding to face it head on, you ask him with your own cheeks heating, “Are you asking about the pegging or the, uh… the liking you part?”
To your surprise, Jungkook chokes and stiffens in place, eyes shooting wide and face and ears going beet red. “I, um… I only heard the liking part…”
OH. Well. You kind of want to die, but… at least now he knows?
 …You’re gonna throw yourself off a bridge.
He must mistake the cause of your silence for something else, because he seems to panic. “B-because, um, I know you know how I feel, and it’s okay if you don’t um— I was just wondering—”
In the midst of his spiel, you take a seat on the bench, closer to him than you were last time. It only makes him grow more flustered before you press a finger to his lips to shush him. He gets the message and falls silent instantly, making your heart skip a beat at his ready obedience. God, are you an animal?! Really?!
“I was trying to track you down to confirm it, you know,” you say, shoving your embarrassment into a box in the far reaches of your mind. Time to swallow your pride.  “But you kept avoiding me.”
Jungkook’s eyes are still wide. “Oh… sorry.”
You smile at his soft, uttered apology. Testingly, tentatively, you shift your hand and rest it on his hip. His whole body stiffens once more, but its more in surprise than discomfort. “What would you do if it was true, hm?”
Like a deer caught in headlights, he’s momentarily speechless. When your thumb rubs against the hard line of his hip bone, drawing a shudder, he jerks back into motion.
“Oh my god, you—” he’s dazed before he narrows his eyes at you, voice dropping to a whisper that’s somewhat tinged with hurt. “Are you teasing me?”
You manage to hold back the laugh but can’t help the smile that rises at his words. “I always get the urge to tease you, Jungkook, but it’s not to be cruel.” You lean forward, holding his gaze. “I probably never grew out of that kindergarten stage.”
It takes a second for what you said to sink in. The way that hope enters his eyes is so cute that you’re humiliated at the urge to squeal that rises. “So, you…”
It’s embarrassing to say the words out loud, especially considering the filth running through your mind right now, and you can’t quite bring yourself to. Teasingly, you bring your other hand to his thigh, brushing the edge of the skirt with your thumb and enjoying the way he shivers. “It’s embarrassing to say out loud, so if you want to hear it, you’re gonna have to work for it.” 
The soft, excited gasp he lets out emboldens you to carry out your next action— you move the hand on his hip, brushing your fingertips up the side of his slim waist before bringing them back down to rest over his crotch. 
To your complete and utter surprise, there is already some firmness there that greets you. At your curious gaze, he flushes pink.
“It’s the skirt,” he confesses, averting his gaze to your lap for the briefest second. “You look really good in it…”
Not that your ego needs more stroking, but you’re happy to let it happen anyway. You hum, beginning to move your hand— he stifles a gasp.
“I know,” you say, grinning. It’s ridiculous how your stomach flips, arousal beginning to trickle into your abdomen and ache in the apex of your thighs. “I could feel you looking at me. I caught you a few times, too.”
He’s embarrassed, you can tell, but the current situation doesn’t leave much room for dignity as it is anyway. Still, you can’t help but tease him some more, voice soft as you rub over his growing bulge and lean closer. “Do you always look at me, Jungkook?”
He squirms, a gasp slipping out before he attempts to send you a glare. “This is embarrassing,” he whines. You raise a brow, increasing the pressure of your hand, and he is quick to amend his response in a whisper, “…Yes.”
“And what do you imagine, when you look at me?” you ask, unable to deny the thrill running through your veins and lighting heat in your abdomen. You pause your ministrations only to move your hand to the top of his skirt and slip beneath the material. This time a moan slips out before he can stop it. “Is it things like this?”
He lets his head fall back against the wall, looking at you through hazy, lidded eyes. “Yes,” he admits, and for how readily he supplied the answer you reward him by slipping your hand beneath the rest of the layers over his hips and wrapping your fingers around his hardening length.
He whines— actually whines— and rolls his hips into your hand, thick thigh tensing beneath the grip of your other hand. The resulting wash of arousal that floods over you is so sudden it almost makes you dizzy.
“Oh, you’re a good boy,” you mutter it without much thought, but surprise filters through you when you feel his length twitch and flush with heat in your hold at the words. Ah— he likes a bit of praise, does he? You slide your free hand up his thigh, working the waistband of his skirt and bike shorts down until they rest just past the beginning of his thighs. It’s like you’re looking at a work of art, you marvel slightly— the curls that begin to trail down a little below his belly button, the sculpted line of his hip bones and the hints of his abs that show as his body tenses. You’re just one woman.
“Does it feel as good as you imagined, Jungkook?” you aimed to speak louder but it comes out sort of breathy. You trail your fingers down the tan skin of his abdomen before gripping the material of his bottoms and using the moment to free his length.
If you didn’t have such a firm grip on it, you know it would have sprung back against his stomach— you try not to let your surprise show, either, because you could feel that he was packing, but seeing it is another thing and your stomach flips in giddy anticipation. Jungkook’s chest heaves as his breath quickens, eyes boring into you and hands bunching in the material of the punishment skirt. You stroke your hand along his length, pressing your thumb along the underside and relishing in the shudder it elicits.
“y/n,” he whines softly, face flushing as his cock twitches in your hold. Whether he’s forgotten you even asked a question or simply is too overwhelmed to answer right now, you don’t know. 
As for how you’re doing— you’re so turned on right now that in all honesty you don’t know what to do with yourself. A solution comes to mind quickly and you don’t have the usual self control you do to stop yourself. 
Mindful of his injured leg, you rise, keeping your grip on him as you do so. His lidded gaze follows you, soft gasps escaping him all the while.
“Give me your leg,” you instruct, relishing how quickly he listens. Presented with his thigh, you swing one of your legs over the other side of the bench and rest on it so that as little weight as possible is on his bad leg, your knees brushing his hips. As soon as you’re lowered, you can’t help but gasp and roll your hips— the only thing separating you and the smooth skin and hard muscle of his thigh is the thin layer of your damp panties, and the stimulation on your clit makes your entire core throb in arousal.
Apparently this is also one of the things he’s imagined, because Jungkook lets out a low, gasping moan and rolls his hips up into your hand— which, of course, makes his thigh muscles tense and shift, rubbing oh so nicely against your clit. You almost fall off from the jolt of pleasure that shoots up your spine, free hand shooting to grab his bicep, “Ah, Jungkook!”
He apparently has the sense of mind to support you by using the arm in your hold to reach and grip your hip. Generous amounts of precum have started to bead at his tip, and you drag your hand up his girth, collecting it on your thumb and smearing it down his length for lubrication. It elicits a whine, another roll of his hips, and like that you settle into a rhythm of sorts.
“y/n.” Each gasp and moan he lets out have to be specially designed to ruin you, you decide. He seeks your gaze with hazy, lust-ridden eyes. “Please kiss me.”
It’s a brazen request coming from him of all people, and you’re all too happy to oblige. You lean forward, the rock of your hips making you shudder, and connect his lips with your own— he’d sought your kiss as you did so, craning his neck forward and awaiting your lips. It’s a heated kiss from the beginning, given the situation— you don’t fight for dominance so much as assume it from the start. Each press of your tongue, graze of your teeth, has a new sound tumbling from his throat and into your mouth. It makes your heart race even harder than it already was.
It doesn’t take long for tension to begin to build in your abdomen, and you know if you’re already feeling it then he must be even closer. Not wanting this to end just yet, you force yourself to slow your hand down, breaking the kiss and shifting to press your mouth to his neck.
“Wh-what—” he gasps, shuddering as your thumb plays with his slit, rhythm slowed to a stop. Both of you are panting, almost, and you suckle a mark into the junction of his neck before pulling back with a grin.
“Surely that isn’t all you’ve imagined, Jungkook.” You lean forward, pressing a brief kiss to his mouth before pulling back— the way he chases your lips makes your heart squeeze. “What now? Be a good boy, tell me.”
Far from being embarrassed at this point and all but a slave to the haze of lust in the air, Jungkook’s breath hitches and he responds, somewhat tentative if anything, “… ride me.”
“Good boy,” you breathe, offering him a proud smile. He preens beneath your fond look.
You shift, and you think that he must have expected you to stand up fully and remove your clothes, or at least your bottoms, but to his surprise you simply shuffle up and reach beneath your skirt, slipping your panties aside and aligning his member with your entrance. You’re so turned on that you’ve soaked through your underwear, and you know you’ve smeared enough precum along his length that lubrication will be no problem. So you simply lower yourself down until his head parts your lips and begins to sink into you.
At the sheer size of him even as just the tip enters your cunt, you have to halt, gasping, “Fuck!”
If he wanted to respond, you don’t really give him time to; as soon as you get your bearings you continue sinking down onto him. There is a slight burn, of course, but you’re so turned on that it fades quicker than you can register. The sensation of him, the throb, his girth and the way he splits your walls, stretching you more and more as you seat yourself on him— it’s indescribable, and all you can offer is that it feels so good you swear tears are gonna prick at your eyes. From the look on his face, brows scrunched and mouth parted as a long, low groan slips out, you know it must feel just as good for him.
When the back of your thighs press against the top of his his and he’s fully sheathed in you, you feel like you’re about to lose your mind— this position has him so deep in your pussy that with each miniscule shift the tip of his cock presses against a spot that sends delicious jolts of pleasure up your spine. Honestly, if you weren’t so intent on seeing this through, you think you could cum from that sensation alone. 
Even as you’re in a mess of pleasure and a haze of desire, you can’t help but tease him some more. You clench your insides, rolling your hips— the sharp, lilting moan he lets out makes your stomach flip. “What now, baby boy?”
You hold his hips down with your hand, feeling them twitch with the urge to rock up into you. A long, drawn groan escapes him. “Do you want to see me? More of me? Or do you want to feel me?”
You take his hand into your hold and guide it up to your chest, slipping it beneath your shirt and bra to cup your breast. His breath hitches, lashes fluttering against his cheekbones as he blinks and attempts to clear the haze from his vision. You relish in the control you have over him until his thumb brushes your nipple and he pinches it, tweaking it instinctively. A moan tears from you, the shock of pleasure that results making you clench around him again; his free hand scrambles for purchase against your thigh, fingers digging in as pleasure washes over him in turn.
Your breath is coming a little faster now. Leaving his hand at your chest, you move it to drag up his neck before threading your fingers in the damp curls at the back of his neck. Finding a firm grip, you tug his head back ever so lightly— it elicits a new moan that you haven’t heard yet, and you really begin to think this boy will be your undoing. 
“What do you want?” you ask again, rolling your hips once more. It isn’t fair of you, you know, since you can hardly think yourself from the sensations. “You want me to move, baby boy?”
He nods, attempting to speak through the moan caught in his throat. “Please… fuck me, y/n.”
Well, who are you to say no to that?
Happy to oblige, you engage your thighs and begin to rise— the sensation of him dragging against your walls makes both of you gasp, and you almost falter in your movements from the feeling alone. Gathering your wits as best as you can, you continue your movements, successfully rising and then seating yourself once more. Unable to withhold much longer, you roll your hips and begin to set the two of you into a rhythm.
You stopped paying heed to the noises escaping you a while ago, but you don’t doubt that the sinful sounds tumbling from Jungkook’s mouth as you ride him are a large contributor to the way the tension in your abdomen quickly begins to knot and bundle once more.
Even with as heavenly as it feels, it’s hard to keep up momentum when your thighs begin to burn. Thankfully, Jungkook has more than enough stamina in his thigh muscles for the both of you, and when he senses your fatigue, he brings his grip to your hips to hold them in place before rocking his own up and beginning to fuck up into you.
Needless to say, the pace he sets is much faster and much harder than the one you had. Swears tumble softly from your mouth at the change in intensity of pleasure as it shoots through you, orgasm already approaching much faster than anticipated. Your hands come to grip his on your hips with a cry of his name, knees turning to jelly. 
Movement against your hand surprises you, but not as much as the sensation of Jungkook’s hand shifting to thread his fingers with yours. You honestly feel your heart burst, and as he fucks up into you that bit harder you can’t help the way you clutch his hand like a lifeline, the sweet moment quick to pass but most definitely not forgotten. 
“G-gonna cum,” you gasp, eyes closing and allowing the slap of skin and Jungkook’s gasping moans to overtake your senses. You don’t forget to indulge him in some praise. “Such a g-good boy, making me feel so g-good.”
He whines at your words, and right as your pleasure approaches its peak you feel his hips stutter and slam up into yours harder than all the times before. The stimulation of that spot deep inside of you is all that’s needed to push you into the throes of your orgasm, and it washes over you more intensely than you’ve ever felt before as you clench and tense with a cry of his name.
Distantly, you feel his own grip on you tighten, and his hips still as they’re pressed against yours. Warmth floods your core, cock throbbing as he empties inside you, and you swear you hear the softest of confessions uttered to the air as he joins you in your high.
He comes down before you do, although you’re not far behind him, and for a moment you sit in place, panting and attempting to come back to your senses. He’s softened inside you slightly, but when you shift and clench on instinct as you do so, feeling cum slide down your thighs, he twitches  and throbs inside you.
Taken aback, your gaze whips to him and now that his shame has returned to him, he has the decency to blush. Well, apparently Jeon Jungkook’s stamina really is no joke. Maybe he really was born to be an athlete.
“Greedy. You want more?” There’s a teasing lilt to your voice, and a thrilling mix of fear and excitement dances in his eyes.
“y/n—” he rasps, desperate. You slide off of him, making both of you groan, but return to your previous position on his thigh. He moans as he feels his own cum leak out of you and onto his skin. When your hand comes to wrap around his slick member, he jolts and whines.
“You wanna tell me what you said just before?” you ask, beginning to twist your wrist and stroke his cock ever so slowly. He shakes his head, whether at your question or the overstimulation, you’re not sure— you know it’s probably a bit of both though, considering he twitches in your hold.
“‘S embarrassing,” he murmurs, back arching as you increase your pace just a little. “Ah, y/n!”
“I see. You know, I think I can get you to cum again,” you say, changing tactics. 
Jungkook shakes his head, strands of his raven hair plastered to his forehead in sweat. “I can’t—”
“You should tell me,” you say, teasing lilt to your tone. He whines, rocking his hips into and then away from the sensations. 
When he shakes his head again, letting it fall back against the wall and baring the column of his throat to you, you jump on his acceptance of the situation. You pick up speed, rolling your wrist and moving in tune with the shifting of his body. It doesn’t take very long before his oversensitivity throws him into another orgasm, stronger than the last but dryer. The few beads of cum that escape seem ever so tantalising as they roll down his length, drawing your gaze.
“You gonna tell me now?” you ask, already knowing the answer. Jungkook slumps against the wall, breathing heavy and sweat glistening on his golden skin. He looks at you through heavily lidded eyes.
“It’s still embarrassing,” he whines, breathy in his exertion.
Right, well. You know what he said, but you want to hear him say it with his own mouth once more and you’ll stay here all night to make that happen if you need to.
Of course, it’s not until a while and another heated moment or two later that Jungkook realises this and gives in.
His confession is so much sweeter on your ears the second time, and of course, as promised, you reward him with your own. It’s worth it for the way it makes his eyes shine, you think. 
Jeon Jungkook really has you well and truly whipped. 
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a/n: thank u for reading and i hope u liked it! im super excited to have completed my first commission and would really appreciate it if u let me know what u think by sending me an ask and liking & rbing this with ur thoughts!! i read & appreciate everything!! thank u !! love u !! peace out !! :D
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13-reasons-ideas ¡ 4 years ago
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Hey, I love your stories and your style of writing 💕 I was wondering if you could write one on Scott Reed, along the storyline of the series, where the reader was Jeff's girlfriend until his death, and Scott is there by her side and starts to get along with her, but he's hesitant to make a move because he was pretty close to Jeff as well?
MOVING FORWARD? 
A/N: Trigger warning: character death. I hope you like this. I tried to focus more on the process of moving forward with little snippets. I’m sorry this took a while, I had to make the parts flow together and it was challenging. I wrote and rewrote it a few times. Sorry if spacing is off, I tried to fix it as best I could. You’ll want tissues and maybe a snack. It’s a long one. 
SEPTEMBER
“Babe, you don’t have to go. I can go get more beer. You stay here with your friends.” I asked Jeff, who was getting his coat to go on a beer run. Jessica’s party was in full swing and everyone was here. Even Clay Jensen came, to most people’s surprise.
“(Y/N), I’m good. I’ve been drinking Coke all night. I’ll see you in a few. I love you.”
I sighed as I looked up at his beaming face, “okay, fine. I’ll see you in twenty. Drive safe, I love you too.” I kissed him softly and watched as he jogged out to the car to run to Blue Spot. I decided to go off in search of my friends and found them in the kitchen, arguing with Scott and Monty about who should get the last beer.
“Ah, finally. Someone who can break the stalemate. (Y/N), who do you think should get it?” Scott asked me.
“Easy. Me.” I smiled, taking the bottle from the table and opening it.
“But- you… you don’t even like beer.” Layla stuttered.
“I know, but it saves me from watching the four of you argue until Jeff gets back. I’m sure you can last,” I checked my watch, “fourteen minutes without a beer.” The boys groaned and Layla turned to Katie, sighing dramatically. I shook my head as I walked away.
I was alone for a while, just wandering the house. I had seen Clay run out of the party a while ago, followed by Sherri and Hannah a while after that. I played with my necklace, a gift from Jeff for our first anniversary, just people watching, the bottle of Coors still full in my hand. My phone buzzing in my pocket pulled me from my thoughts. “hello?” I asked, not bothering to look at who was calling. I assumed it was Jeff calling to confirm how much beer he needed to get.
“(Y/N)? (Y/N/N)- you- oh fuck.”
“Who is this?”
“I-it’s Clay. (Y/N) you… oh god. I called 911 already. There’s been an accident.” No. No no no. Please don’t say what I think you’re about to say. “J-Jeff.” His voice cracked. I heard sirens in the distance. I felt as though I was frozen. “Th-the police are here; they want to talk to me. They’re calling his parents. Oh god (Y/N/N). I have to go.”
“Clay. Clay wait. What happe-.” I tried to ask. He hung up before I could get any words out. It was almost like I had an out of body experience. I lowered my phone and felt the full bottle fall from my grip, shattering on the floor. No one was around to notice, or at least, I couldn’t see if there was. I had tunnel vision. Jeff… he can’t… no.
I blinked quickly a few times to try and make my vision normal, as well as keeping the welling tears from falling. Need to find sports boy. I couldn’t think of the proper words. Walking back towards the kitchen, I scanned the room for someone in a varsity jacket or a face I could identify as an athlete, hell, I scanned for Monty’s plaid shirt. Something like this should trump the stupid fight we had earlier today. I spotted him over by the fridge, talking to some girl. “Monty.” I said quietly as I approached him. He didn’t hear me. “Monty.” I tried again, a little louder. He still didn’t hear me, or he heard me and chose to ignore it. “Montgomery.” I said louder, my voice cracking and placing a hand on his bicep. He froze for a second.
“One second.” He told the girl he was putting the moves on. I watched him turn to face me. As soon as he saw my face, his mouth closed, and his brow furrowed. “(Y/N), are you okay?” Monty asked me, his eyes softening and his demeanor changing almost immediately. I couldn’t get any words out now that I had found someone to tell. I just shook my head and waved my arms awkwardly. “(Y/N/N), did something happen? What happened?”
I opened my mouth and my voice cracked. It felt like my throat was trying to open around a peach pit. “J-Jeff….” Was all I could say. My face crumpled and my eyes squeezed shut, trying my damnedest to keep from crying or screaming. “He… there was an accident.” Monty’s entire face dropped.
“What kind of accident?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think it’s good Monty. We have to… I have to….” I trailed off, trying to find the words to explain that we needed to leave.
“(Y/N) you need to breathe. Let’s go find the guys. Come on.” He said, his face hardening as he pulled me along beside him. I turned to look at the girl he walked away from. She looked royally miffed.
“Scott. Where’s Bryce?” Monty asked his friend. I stood behind him, clutching his shirt tightly to keep myself upright. Had it been any other time, I think he would have minded.
“I don’t know, I think he went upstairs. Why?”
“We need to go.”
Scott looked between Monty and I. “Uh… do you need permission to leave now or something?”
“No Scott. We need to go.” Scott looked at me again and he seemed to register the look on my face as not simply having too much to drink. Monty leaned forward to whisper something to Scott. His eyes widened and he sucked in a deep breath.
“Okay. Uh… I’m good to drive, so you go upstairs and look for Bryce and Justin and whoever else. I’ll take (Y/N) to the car.” I clutched Monty’s shirt tighter.
“(Y/N), you need to let go. I’ll be right back. Go with Scott.” He told me, prying my fingers off his person. I heard myself hum and felt Scott guide me out to the car.
He opened the door and guided me to sit down in the passenger seat. “Do you want some water?” he asked, squatting down to my level. I nodded and he went around to the driver’s side. I turned to watch him root around in his gym bag for a water bottle. He walked back around to me and handed me the fresh bottle. I opened it and took a small sip. He watched me, steadying it when I shook too much. My phone rang again, and I looked down to see who it was. Jeff’s mom was calling. “Hello?” I asked, timidly.
“(Y/N)? Darling, you need to come to the hospital. There was an accident.” She told me, her voice shaking. I could tell she was trying to get the words out without crying.
“I know. Clay called me. We will be there soon.” I looked up as I saw the group of athletes walking out, confused and somber looks on their faces. Scott waved them over. “Okay. We are on our way to the regional hospital. Let one of us know when you get there and we will come down to get you.”
I nodded before realizing that she couldn’t see me. “Mhmm. I will.” I squeaked before hanging up. I felt several dozen eyes on me as I stared at my lap. “They’re going to the regional hospital.” Was all I said as I turned myself forward and shut the door. It was quiet for a few moments before Scott came around and started the car.
Neither of us spoke until we were about halfway to the hospital. I felt my stomach churn the closer we got. “You need to pull over.” I told Scott stiffly.
“You okay (Y/N)?” he asked, his eyes darting to me and back to the road.
“Pull over now.” I ground out, trying to keep from heaving.
“Okay, just a second.” He signalled to pull over and stopped the car. In a matter of seconds, I had the door open and was hunched over on the side of the road, throwing up in the ditch. Diego and Monty pulled over as well when they saw me, and I heard Diego call from the Jeep.
“Is she okay? Or like… she’s okay?”
I groaned. “I’ve got her, you guys go on ahead.” Scott called back. I wiped my mouth and stood up straight, sending Monty a thumbs up. He nodded and merged back into traffic. I walked back to the car, taking a gulp of water, swishing and spitting it on the road.
“We can go.” I said and it was quiet again.
Arriving at the hospital and calling Jeff’s mom was a blur. It was also a blur waiting for the doctor and watching his parents argue that I should be there to hear what was happening. I stared at the wall blankly while I waited for news. Some of the guys whispered around me, others prayed, others like me, stared blankly. Finally, the doctor agreed to let me listen and I walked over at the wave of a nurse. The nurse took me into the small room I remembered being in when I was young, and my grandma had passed.
“Mr. and Mrs. Atkins, Miss (Y/L/N). I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but Jeff passed away at the scene of the accident. I am sorry for your loss.” I closed my eyes as his mom dropped to the floor and screamed. His dad dropped and pulled his distraught wife into his arms. I took a breath and turned to run from the room. I ran down the hall, ignoring the group in the waiting room. “(Y/N), wait.” I heard someone call behind me. I ignored them. I also ignored the footsteps following me. I have to get out of here was running over and over in my head. I stopped running when I got outside and bent over, placing my hands on my knees. I gulped the air, trying to slow my heartrate and put off the impending breakdown.
“(Y/N)?” a voice spoke from behind me. I shook my head. I knew who was talking to me, but I couldn’t make myself speak. “Come here.” Bryce said gently, as though I was a fawn he was trying to approach without spooking. I still couldn’t say anything. His hand gently touched my back and rubbed in circles. I began to stand up and his arms immediately went around my middle to support my weight in the event that I couldn’t stand up. He held me for a few minutes, while I shook and tried not to cry. I noticed Justin standing at the doors with a broken yet menacing look on his face.
“He’s gone.” I whispered quietly into the blond’s shoulder.
“I know. Let’s go back inside, yeah? Get you some water and have someone take you home?” I hummed as he tucked me under his shoulder, supporting my weight.
The group of heartbroken boys were still in the waiting room with Jeff’s parents. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with them. Monty walked up to Bryce and took me from him.
“I’ll take her home.”
“Stay with her.” Diego told him, placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing. Monty nodded and took his flannel off, wrapping me up in it. I took one last look at his parents before turning and walking away, not daring to think of how I was going to have to begin the grieving process for my boyfriend.
I walked up to the school doors on Monday morning and stood there, just looking at it. I was early so there weren’t many people outside, but those who were, stared at me and whispered to each other. Jeff’s baseball shirt hung off my thin frame and my black yoga pants hugged my curves, hidden by the shirt. It seemed to be bigger than it was a few days ago. “Are you going to go inside, or do you want to cut today?” Monty asked from behind me.
I jumped slightly. “I’ll be there in a minute. I have to be here today.”
“Okay. I’ll wait with you.” He stood beside me quietly until I was ready to walk in. I took a step forward and then another, and another. He fell into step beside me. People stared as I walked in. I guess I should get used to it.Principal Bolan and Mr. Porter were waiting for me at the main office.
“(Y/N), if there is anything the school can do, just let me know and I will handle it.” The principal said. Yeah, sure you will.
“Thank you.” I replied, quietly. He nodded and walked back into his office. The appeasing statement has been made. Let’s not appear to care too much.
“(Y/N), you don’t need to be here today. You’ve suffered a great loss. Your teachers would understand why you weren’t here.” Mr. Porter offered.
I stared at him. Is he serious? “I know you’re trying to help and that’s great. But I do need to be here today.” I explained.
“Why?”
“I heard he was drinking, and she let him get in the car anyway.” A girl I had never met muttered to her friend as she passed me. Monty must have seen my features darken and he placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. I gestured to Mr. Porter.
“That is why. I need to get ahead of this. Jeff is-,” I caught myself, “was a wonderful and well-loved young man, but the kids at this school don’t care about that. If I wasn’t here, the rumors would be even worse.”
Mr. Porter nodded; he had been here long enough to know how people were. “Alright, but if you want to talk or decide you need to go home, come let me know.” I nodded at him and together, Monty and I walked to my locker.
“Did he really say, ‘you don’t need to be here today’? Like he actually fucking said that?” I asked.
“Yup. I heard it too.” Monty said, shaking his head. Clay stopped us in the hall, and I tried to smile at him. It came out as more of a grimace.
“Hey Clay. How’re you doing?”
“I don’t know. How are you doing?”
“I changed my shirt this morning. So that’s something I guess.” I shrugged.
“I’m really sorry (Y/N).”
“I know. Me too. Jeff really liked you, you know.”
“Yeah.” Neither of us knew what else to say. “I uh… I’ll see you around?”
“You will. Let me know if,” I paused, “if you want to talk sometime.”
“Okay.” He nodded before making his way to wherever it is that Clay Jensen spends his time. I tried to ignore the whispers as I sighed.
“This day isn’t going to get any easier.” I muttered. Monty shrugged as we walked. No one else really said anything to me as we walked, all of them grieving in their own ways.
“She isn’t left alone today, okay?” I heard Bryce tell the rest of the athletes, who had crowded around my locker. I had to stop myself from speaking up and telling him that I’m not a child and I can take care of myself. Instead, I readjusted my bag on my shoulder.
“Hey Bryce. Guys.” I greeted somberly.
“Hey (Y/N).” Bryce greeted, equally as somberly. He pulled me into a slightly awkward but understandable hug. Bryce hugs people when they aren’t in shock? This is probably one of the strangest interactions I’ve had with Bryce Walker since… ever. I wasn’t sure what to do so I just patted his back gently. He pulled away and the group made room for me to get to my locker.
“You can all stop staring at me any time. It’s kind of creepy.” I said as I gathered my things. “I know this is a hard day for all of us, but that doesn’t mean you need to stare like everyone else.” When I turned back, they were still looking at me. “Seriously, stop. I’m not going to do anything stupid. I will however, go to my stupid physics class and learn about the laws of motion.” I put my textbooks in my bag and began walking away from my friends. When I didn’t hear any of them following, I turned around. “You coming Diego? Hutcher will get all bent out of shape if we are late, even under these circumstances.”
“I guess so, yeah.” He mumbled, confused before quickly catching up with me.
Between the sad looks from teachers, the boys and their girlfriends following me everywhere, and the whispers from students, my patience with today was beginning to wear thin. It was around lunch time when I heard two girls talking to each other. They must not have noticed I was walking past.
“She really seems to be milking this grieving girlfriend thing.”
“Lizzie, it’s been three days, give her a break. I wonder what it was like. Must have been-.” I had finally had enough.
“What what was like? What part would you like to know about? The part where I begged him not to leave? Or when I got a phone call from a kid freaking out? Would you like to know about what it was like gathering all the guy at that party and going to the hospital? Because it turns out a brother dying sobers you up pretty quick.” I paused and looked at their expressions. “No. No you don’t want to know about that. You want to know what it was like listening to his mom scream and cry and beg God to bring her son back. You want to hear about how I haven’t eaten in three days because I’ve been crying so much I can’t keep food down. And how everyone is staring at me and whispering because apparently Jeff Atkins’ death is inconvenient for them.” Before I could continue, I felt arms going around my waist and I was being pulled back.
“Easy there Ticat.” Scott Reed spoke into my ear. I struggled for a moment and he wrapped his arms around my waist tighter. Finally, I relaxed, and he let go. I watched him turn to the girls.
“She lost her boyfriend three fucking days ago. We lost a brother. Have some goddamn respect.” He scoffed and shook his head as he grabbed the bag I dropped and led me towards the door. The girls looked as though he slapped them as we walked away. He passed me his phone as we walked. “Call Monty.” I did as he said and put it on speaker.
“Hello?” Monty answered.
“Hey. I’m taking (Y/N) home.”
“Why? Is she okay?” He asked.
“She is. At least as okay as we can expect. It’s everyone else that’s the problem.” He grumbled.
“What happened?”
“I’ll explain later. Tell Porter she had to go home for me?”
“I will. Keep me posted?”
“Will do. Bye.” He took the phone from my hand and hung up. We had arrived at his car and he seemed to have calmed down a bit. “So, home?” I blinked at him, not totally understanding the question. “Where do you live?” He clarified, slowly.
“Oh uh… just off Lincoln and sixth.” I replied. He nodded and got in the car. I followed suit and stared out the windshield. “That was… something.”
“Yeah well it’s been a long day.”
“I think they’ll be long for a while.”
“Me too.” He replied, sadly. “You don’t want to go home do you?” he asked, suddenly. I was quiet for a while before answering.
“Not really no. My parents are at work and they’ve just been hovering since Monty brought me home. But it’s so quiet.”
“I can stay if you want. I’m not the greatest cook in the world but I can manage soup broth.”
“You don’t want to go home?”
“No. Bryce may be a dick a lot of the time, but he’s right. You shouldn’t be left alone today. And I can guarantee that I am far better company than some of the other guys. We don’t have to talk or anything. If you’re not comfortable with that, I can call Monty back or one of your other, uh… friends?”
“You mean Layla and Katie? They aren’t really my friends. Have you seen or heard from them today at all? Because I haven’t.”
“I haven’t. Why do you hang out with them then?”
“Why do you spend time with Bryce Walker, Scott?”
“Fair point.” He replied, dropping the subject.
We got closer to my house and I spoke again. “It’s the slightly darker grey one up ahead here.”
“As opposed to the slightly lighter grey houses?” Scott joked. It was a really bad joke, but I felt myself start to smile slightly for the first time in days.
“Well, yeah.” I stated, biting the inside of my lip slightly to keep a straight face. He must have caught himself smiling slightly too because he quickly relaxed his face back to the somewhat somber expression, we all wore today.
“Heard that one before?”
“Yeah. Jeff joked about it a lot.” I smiled sadly at the memory. We were silent again as he pulled into my driveway and we walked to the door. Our stuff was arranged neatly by the door and we made our way through the house to the kitchen. Evidently, he wasn’t kidding about the soup thing.
“Okay, where do you keep your pots?” He asked, clapping his hands together.
“Bottom cupboard by the stove.” I pointed. I’m really not hungry and this really isn’t a good idea. He nodded and set to work searching the kitchen for ingredients.
I decided to leave him be as he fell into what was clearly his zone. When I was upstairs, I decided it might be time to have a shower and clean some of the sadness off of me. It doesn’t work like that (Y/N). I shook my head. You think I don’t know that? I just need to do something that feels normal. Once I was showered and changed into a clean sweatshirt and bike shorts, I made my way downstairs. At the sound of my footsteps, Scott looked up. “I made you a sandwich. You don’t have to eat it if you don’t want, but it’s there.” I nodded and sat at the island in front of the bowl of hot soup broth. I took a timid sip from my spoon and sighed. This is really good.
“Thank you.” I muttered quietly. He nodded at me as he took a bite of his own sandwich. We ate in silence across from each other. Scott wasn’t lying when he said we didn’t have to talk if I didn’t want to. Once our lunch was done, he pulled out a notebook and did some homework at the table while I turned on the tv at a low volume, pretending to be interested in some soap opera that had been on longer than I’d been alive. Just like this morning, I pretended not to notice his not so discreet looks to check on me. He didn’t leave until just before my mom got home from work. We bid each other a slightly awkward goodbye and I breathed a sigh of relief that I could finally be alone for a few minutes.
The next couple of days at school weren’t much better. Bryce was still being… nice, which I found slightly odd. It wasn’t nice in a creepy way or anything like that. He seemed to genuinely be nice. He walked me to my first class since his was next door, keeping a respectable distance between us at all times. If he saw me in the halls, he would wave at me or nod in acknowledgement. At first, I thought he was being weird, but when I talked to Monty about it, he just shrugged. “This might be how he’s choosing to grieve. Focus on being nice to you and making sure you know someone is there.”
“I get that, but its Bryce. Usually when he’s nice to a girl….”
“I know. He’s annoying and says stupid shit. But he’s my best friend. I know him. He’s actually trying to be nice to you. Jeff was his friend.”
I sighed. “Okay. I’m not going to start hanging out with him or anything though. If he’s your best friend, what does that make me?”
“My person or whatever.” He muttered, going back to his geometry problem.
“I knew you paid attention when we watched that.” I muttered as I went back to my biology notes.
The stares weren’t much different, but it seemed like it had started really setting in for people by now. Jeff Atkins, one of their classmates, their idols, their friend, was gone. The snarky whispers stopped, but I wasn’t sure if that was because of my outburst on Monday morning or not. I noticed Hannah Baker watching me at my locker during breaks, but I didn’t pay much mind to it. She’s the girl Clay is in love with and Jeff wanted them to get together sure, but that girl had more going on than met the eye. Jessica and Justin seemed more lovey than usual which sucked to watch but whatever works for them I suppose. Justin and Bryce’s relationship seemed kind of off, but I attributed it to some stupid high school bullshit or having different ways of dealing with death. Diego and I hadn’t ever been super close or friendly at all, but he was friends with Jeff and Monty, so I had been around him. When we stopped to talk in the halls or anything, he talked to me just like he always had. We kept it to small talk and school related topics. I was grateful he wasn’t walking on eggshells and trying not to say the wrong thing.
Scott Reed was the one person I couldn’t wrap my head around though. We were kind of sort of friends. More than acquaintances, but not friends, friends. More, you’re friends with my boyfriend and best friend so that’s something, friends. We had also worked on group projects together in the past. He seemed to be stuck between trying to help me and being scared to talk to me. I would catch him looking at me from his locker but he would look away quickly in the mornings, but then at lunch or when the halls were quiet, he would try to make me smile or laugh. It was very confusing, especially with my head being so clouded by grief. I knew he wasn’t trying to make any moves or anything. It’s probably just the way he’s processing things. Maybe he’s trying to avoid the issue and this is how he wants to do it. We didn’t mention our afternoon at my house on Monday, nor did he insert himself into any grief related outbursts that may or may not have occurred in the last few days. You need to stop thinking so much. This is too much to deal with right now.
** **
I hadn’t retained anything we had talked about in school this week. I was too busy dreading this day. I stared at the classic black dress hanging on the door of my closet. It stared back, mockingly. I was in my room, hair freshly curled and pulled out of my face, neutral makeup on, doing all I could to not think about what my plans for the day were going to be just over a week ago. It was shocking how fast plans could change. Instead of a relaxing walk and maybe a game of catch with my boyfriend before dinner, I was getting dressed for his funeral. I rolled my eyes up to try to keep the tears at bay for just a little longer. A knock at my door redirected my attention. “Hey.” Monty said from the door. He leaned against the door frame, likely wrinkling his black suit.
“Hey.” I replied. I sighed and shook my head.
“Are we getting dressed or are we going to stand here hoping it dresses you on its own?” he asked, stepping into my room.
“I don’t know.”
“Your folks are downstairs waiting for you.”
“That’s good.”
“Do you want a drink?” I turned around to face him as he pulled a silver flask out of his inside jacket pocket.
“No. Need to be sober for this.”
He nodded and took a swig of whatever it contained. Today wasn’t the day to argue with him about drinking before eleven. “Do you need help with the dress or are you good?”
“I think I’ll need you to zip it up.” I muttered, motioning for him to sit on my bed as I took the dress off its hanger, going into my closet to change. I didn’t look in the mirror as I passed it on the way to my bed. He zipped it up deftly. I again, decided not to make a comment about how he wasn’t usually zipping dresses up.With that taken care of, I slipped on my black pumps and turned around to look in the mirror. “Do I look okay Monty?” I asked, pulling on my sleeves slightly, trying to cover up a little more. He placed his hand on mine to stop me.
“You look beautiful (Y/N). Stop fiddling with it and let’s go downstairs.”
“I don’t want to.” I replied, my voice cracking. Don’t cry. Do not cry.
“I know. But we need to.” He sighed. “Everyone will be there. If it makes you feel better, I can even talk to the Jensen kid.”
“Clay. And I don’t know if it would honestly.” Before we went downstairs, I asked him, “can I take you up on your offer of flask juice?”
“Not right now. You said you have to stay sober for this.”
I sighed for what felt like the millionth time today and walked downstairs, clutching the railing as I went so that I didn’t topple over.
Jeff’s parents asked if I wanted to come early so I could have some alone time to say goodbye to Jeff. When we arrived at the church, his parents, the Priest, and the funeral director met us out front. Jeff’s dad pulled me into a tight hug and whispered apologies in my ear. I rubbed his back softly and apologised back. His mom was quick to pull me in as well. “I’ll always consider you akin to a daughter, (Y/N).” She whispered. I had to fight back tears when she squeezed tighter before letting me go.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” Father Carmichael said as he took my hand gently. They were warmer than I expected for a man his age.
“Thank you.” I mumbled. The sentiment was shared by the funeral director and I was ushered off to the waiting hearse. The back door was opened, and I stared at the shiny walnut casket filling the space. It almost didn’t believe what I was seeing. It didn’t seem real. I placed a hand on the varnished wood, noting how smooth it felt.
“This can’t be happening.” I muttered softly. I paused to wait for a response I knew would never come. “We promised each other we would have forever.” There was more I wanted to say but the tears were becoming impossible to stop. I hoped that he knew everything I wanted to say already. I wiped my tears quickly before turning around and waiting for the pallbearers to arrive. We were ushered into the church before other people arrived.
“(Y/N), would you like to sit with the family? You practically are to us.” Jeff’s mom asked as my parents went to get some water.
“Umm,” I paused and turned to Monty. He shrugged and nodded. “I guess that would be okay.” I replied, not completely sure of my answer.
“Alright sweetie.” She hugged me again and turned as the pallbearers began arriving. I watched on as the funeral director explained procedure to them. His parents and I were led out of the church once again to follow the casket into the chapel.
The church was packed full. I could hear the quiet loud of a large group chattering with one another at the door. I quickly shut the door on the original idea of a large gathering in this little church. Oh, how that day would have been so different than today. My dad wouldn’t already be seated inside, I wouldn’t be wearing black, Jeff would be standing at the alter instead of…. Suddenly we were watching the group of young men carry the heavy casket up the church steps. His cousins were trying to keep their tears in but couldn’t help the few that slid out. His uncle had tears streaming down his face. I took a deep breath and began following his mom and dad into the church. When I got to the doors leading to the chapel, I froze. I couldn’t make my feet move. Once again, I was bombarded with what should have been. I could feel people’s eyes on me but try as I might, I simply could not move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement coming around the last pew. Scott was standing at my side in a moment.
“One foot in front of the other.” He muttered as he held his arm out slightly. I grasped it, probably too tightly, but he didn’t even flinch. Together, he walked me towards the alter. I didn’t bother to think about what people would say about it. People here weren’t that callous. I took my seat and took a deep breath as he quickly made his way back to his seat.
Father Carmichael performed a wonderful service for Jeff. I felt tears streaming down my face the whole time. When it was over, I excused myself to the washroom to fix my makeup and have a moment to myself. As expected, Monty was waiting for me when I was done. Not as expected, was the addition of Scott waiting with him. I cleared my throat and pointed to my face. “You’re good.” Monty said, after a quick once over.
“Okay.” I nodded. I turned my attention to Scott. “um… thank you. For what you did in there.” I told him, awkwardly.
“It was no problem. That couldn’t have been easy.” He said. I shook my head. It wasn’t.
“Are we going to Jeff’s after this?” Monty asked me. I paused. I should. I really should go. I just don’t know if I can.
“I don’t… know?” I hesitated.
“You could show up for a few minutes, make a quick round, and say you need to be alone.” Scott suggested. I looked up at him. Could I really do that?
“That’s not actually a bad idea.” Monty replied, rubbing his jaw in thought. “We could go to the docks afterwards.”
“Flask empty yet?” I asked.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). We are in a church.” He gasped, scandalously.
“I don’t mean for now. And that’s rich coming from you. When was the last time you cracked open your Bible Montgomery?” He was silent and avoided eye contact. “Exactly.”
“It’s not. But it’s not like we can’t refill it if we need to.”
“Okay. Let’s go.” I nodded. I put on another brave face as we walked out of the church on the way to the grave site to lay Jeff to rest.
We made a quick appearance at the house, during which Bryce gave me another sad hug and I smiled awkwardly at people when they gave me the look I had become so familiar with in the last week. I was able to excuse myself and leave quietly with Monty and Scott in tow. The three of us made our way to the docks, after a quick stop at my place for a flask refill and extra bottle of vodka. I sat on the railing, staring out at the ocean, blankly. My companions flanked me on either side. The metal flask was passed silently between us until it was decided that I was “thoroughly fucked up” as Monty put it. The burn of the alcohol had stopped bothering me long before that.
“I cannot deny that statement.” I said, watching the waves.
“Ready to go home then (Y/N/N)?”
I turned my head to face him with wide eyes, “no. What do you think my parents would say if I showed up at home drunk?”
“Today?” Scott asked.
“I think, given the day you’ve had, they would understand. Plus, you were hanging out with me so they know you’re safe.” Monty shrugged.
“It’s the middle of the day. And you have been drinking since before eleven. There is no way you can drive right now.” I closed my eyes to stop the spinning in my head.
“I can drive. I haven’t had that much to drink.” Scott offered. It was true. He spent most of his time with the flask, holding it in his hand.
“See? Scott can drive. It’ll be fine. But if you scratch my car, I’ll beat you.” Monty threatened.
“Sure, you will Monty.” Scott laughed. We spent the rest of the day driving around town until I sobered up enough to go home, where I fell asleep as soon as I laid on my bed.
OCTOBER/NOVEMBER
The rest of September and much of October went by in a blur. I often found myself wondering if this was going to be my life now. Was I always going to be the girl whose boyfriend died? The staring stopped after a few weeks. And a couple of weeks after that, people started to move on. It was deemed socially acceptable for everyone else to continue living their lives. Sheri Holland stopped making weird eye contact with me. I wonder what that is about. Clay had seemed to stop openly pining over Hannah Baker. The guys were able to find ways to fill their time without being upset about Jeff. Everything was so… normal. The only person who wasn’t allowed to move on, it seemed, was me.
Everything was normal. Until Hannah Baker’s suicide. In the span of two months, Liberty had lost two students. Being a year older than her, we seemed to be more removed from the situation. It was still sad though. Especially when I watched how it was impacting Clay Jensen. Jeff had taken the boy under his wing while he was being tutored. I had asked him about it one night while we were on a date. Jeff had replied in his usual, happy go lucky glass half full tone, that “Clay is helping me with my grades and I’m helping him with Hannah. They’re good for each other.” I smiled fondly at the memory. Things were so much simpler then. People still looked at me in the halls. They still whispered when I passed. It became easier to ignore them. The drunk driving posters which had upset me so much when they were posted because I knew that Jeff wasn’t drinking that night, were replaced with suicide prevention posters. For the majority of my fellow seniors, Hannah Baker was just a girl. For me, she was just a girl. A girl who my late boyfriend tried to set up with his friend. It was tragic. But in my mind, it paled in comparison to the tragedy I had experienced only a month earlier.
Eventually, everyone else had gone back to normal. Except for Scott Reed. We had never really been friends. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it. And while I appreciated what he did for me, both at school and at the funeral, we didn’t talk about it. He still didn’t really say a whole lot to me. Yet somehow, he was always just… there. I would catch him watching me. Or I would notice his ears perk up when I was mentioned as the guys passed me in the halls. Montgomery of all people even noticed. “You know, Scott was asking about you at practice the other day. What’s going on there (Y/N/N)?” He mentioned to me in the library one day. I merely shrugged and waved it off.
“He hasn’t really talked to me, so I don’t know.”
**
He was watching me again. His eyes followed me as I grabbed a book for my paper in the library. Stare at me any harder and you might set me on fire. Rolling my eyes, I turned and plastered on my best and brightest smile. Scott looked down and suddenly became very interested in his own book when he noticed me walking towards him. I pulled out the chair across from him and leaned in. “What’s your deal, Scott?”
“My deal?” he said into his book.
“Why are you staring at me? And why do you act like you aren’t?”
“I don’t stare at you (Y/N).”
“Then what do you call watching someone from across the hall and across rooms? Hmmm?”
“I uh… don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Monty said you’ve been asking about me.”
He looked up. “He did?”
“Yeah. So, I’ll ask again, what is your deal?”
“Nothing.” He pushed his book aside.
“Sure. Whatever.” I huffed. Pulling out my books, I got comfortable. I’m already sitting here. Might as well take advantage. We were quiet for a while. He was trying not to watch me study. This is the most normal thing I’ve experienced in at least the last month.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Oh.”
“He was my friend (Y/N).”
“I know. Thank you. For what you did for me. I realized I never said it before.”
“No problem.” The bell rang. Packing up our stuff, we wordlessly bid each other goodbye and went our separate ways.
That day in the library wasn’t the only time Scott and I studied together after that. One of us would find the other sitting alone at a table or looking for something in an aisle. Our interactions were mostly wordless. A nod here and there when we sat down. Maybe the odd whispered question about homework. A shared chuckle about something we read. We never talked about Jeff again though. It was too hard. Still too fresh for both of us.
Around the middle of November, our silent study sessions began to change. They got a little less quiet. It was like we were walking on soft dirt ground rather than eggshells. We started bringing snacks. “What’s in the bag today Har?”
“Mini pancakes, chocolate chips, and banana protein bites.” I said, as I opened the containers. I set them in the middle of the table so we could both reach. We were studying quietly, both of us focused on our respective assignments. I could feel his eyes on me.
“I thought we were past this Scotty.” I muttered, smiling into my book. It was Thursday. I did English homework in the library on Thursdays.
“Old habits and all.”
“Mhmm. Right.”
“Actually (Y/N)?”
“Yes Scott?”
“Did you want to grab a coffee at Monet’s or something later?” I stopped writing. His question caught me off guard. “As friends, obviously.” He added when he noticed my hesitation.
“Sure. Say 4:30?”
“4:30 works.”
“Okay.”
I met Scott at Monet’s just after 4:30. We had both gotten stuck behind the same accident. He held the door open for me and even conceded when I suggested we pay separately since it wasn’t a date. I got a triple americano with cream and he got a drip coffee with milk.
“It’s like quarter to five in the afternoon (Y/N).”
“I know. But this is my order.” Jeff did the same thing.
“I’m not judging.”
“It seems like you’re judging a little.” I smiled.
“Swear I’m not.” He chuckled. I nodded and took a sip of my coffee. We sat at an open booth near the coffee bar. It was far enough away from the table Jeff and I used to sit at that it felt okay to sit at.
Neither of us really knew where to start in a conversation. The ten minutes of silence we sat in, made it exceedingly clear that all we really had in common was Jeff and some shared classes. I decided to break the ice. “Aside from football, baseball, and making soup, what else do you like to do for fun?”
“Video games but I don’t think that’s the answer you’re looking for. Hmm. I like driving into the city to go to the movie theater and seeing whatever is playing next.”
“No, it wasn’t. Expected that answer. Random movies sounds cool.”
“Yeah. What about you?”
“I volunteer at the local animal shelter. What’s the weirdest movie you’ve ever seen doing that?”
“Central Intelligence, easy. It came out last year. It wasn’t a bad movie exactly. The Rock and Kevin Hart were in it. Just not my thing.”
“Huh. I heard about that one. My cousin went to see it. She didn’t like it much either.”
“Glad to know I’m not alone. What do you do at the shelter?”
“Oh, you know, walk the dogs and puppies. Pet the cats. Clean up the odd accident. Aside from that last one, it’s pretty nice. It’s the best when you see a friend who’s been there for a while or longer, finally get their forever family and forever home.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that like?”
“It’s hard to describe. Most of the dogs get this smile and almost are able to breathe normally again. The cats get cozy in their carriers or their box. It’s really adorable. They’re content.”
“That sounds like it’s really rewarding.”
“It is. You could swing by sometime if you want. See the animals.”
He seemed skeptical and I was worried I had overstepped. I know it’s been a while since I’ve dated, but this is just as friends. So I shouldn’t be worried about overstepping. “Are you sure that’s okay? Like you’re allowed to do that?” Oh, I see. That’s a relief.
“For sure. It gives them a chance to socialize. Don’t worry, the dogs and cats that have issues with people aren’t ready to be put on the adoption list or in the adoption section until they’re able to be around people safely. Any interaction with strangers is beneficial too so they aren’t as freaked when people come to look at them to potentially adopt. Plus, who doesn’t love to play with puppies and kittens?”
He laughed heartily. “I’ll think about it. Might have to take you up on your offer. What about the other animals?”
“Oh, I’m not really comfortable handling the birds and stuff so I kind of stay away from there. It’s not a problem for the shelter. They don’t want you to be uncomfortable or afraid.”
“That makes sense. You can tag along for a random movie sometime if you want.”
It was my turn to be slightly taken aback. “I’ll think about it. It sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Did you finish that already?” He nodded towards my now empty mug.
“Yes. It was delicious.”
Scott chuckled to himself softly. We still weren’t sure what to talk about, because we didn’t know what we had in common aside from Jeff and school. Somehow, we found things to talk about and the hour we expected turned into two. He looked at his watch. “My folks are expecting me for dinner in approximately no minutes. I should get going.” I checked my phone and my brows rose.
“I should get going too. Before they send the cavalry to find me.”
“Library tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure Scott. I’ll see you there.” On my way home, I realized that for the first time in months, I hardly thought about Jeff this afternoon.
Our study sessions changed again after our not a date just friends’ coffee. Things were less awkward, and it seemed like we had found our footing for the most part. We talked to each other in the halls more and Scott had finally stopped watching me like a hawk. We were even cracking jokes with each other. He had begun treating me like everyone else was. Like I wasn’t going to break if he or someone else said the wrong thing. Like I was (Y/N) and not the girl whose boyfriend died.
DECEMBER
I arrived at school later than usual on a Tuesday morning. It had been a little under three weeks since our coffee not date. I immediately noticed Scott at his locker. His bag was slung over one shoulder and he was wearing his varsity jacket. He was talking to Mike. Mike was a senior in my Spanish class. I didn’t really know him all that well outside of that. I didn’t realize they were friends. When I walked past his locker, I overheard them talking about me.
“Why don’t you go for it and ask her?”
“I don’t know man. She’s really great and all but….”
“She was Jeff’s girlfriend. I get it.”
“He was my friend. I don’t want to overstep.”
“I know.” Mike said. I wanted to hear more of what they were saying so I bent down and undid the heel strap on my wedges. I fiddled with it while they talked. “This is going to sound horrible. I realize that so don’t hate me. I miss him as much as the next guy. I really do. But… Jeff isn’t here anymore, Scott. He’s gone.” You’re right Mike. That is horrible. “There isn’t really a line to overstep. It’s not like anyone can do anything to fix it. It just… is.”
“But do I want to be the guy who asks his dead friend’s girlfriend on a date?” A date? My cheeks flared. I couldn’t say that the idea hadn’t crossed my mind that Scott was an option. I had just felt absolutely terrible for it as soon as I did.
“Maybe you need to be. Maybe that could help both of you.”
“Help us what Mike?” Scott asked, the unease clear in his tone.
“Help you move…” Mike paused, “on isn’t the right word. Forward? That sounds better. Help you move forward. She needs someone and from what I’ve seen, she has Monty, those two girls who basically stopped talking to her after Jeff died, a couple of randoms she doesn’t seem to like that much, the baseball team-but it seems like they keep her around out of pity. And you. She has you.”
“And how would asking her on a date help me?”
“You have Monty, Charlie, and the baseball team. You think I think you like the rest of the team?”
“No.” He admitted.
“Exactly. And you have her. Jeff was your friend. He was her boyfriend. And he died. You both need someone to get through that. Because going through it when you feel like you’re alone, sucks. Besides, (Y/N) doesn’t strike me as the kind of person to stop being friends with someone if they ask her out and she isn’t interested in that. So, either way, she won’t not be in your life.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“Course I am. Now, go. Go shoot your shot. I gotta get to math.”
My eyes widened when their conversation ended abruptly like that. I wasn’t prepared. Quickly, I stood and sped off to my own locker. I had barely had time to open it and pretend to look for something before Scott was behind me. “Hey Ticat.”
“Oh, uh. Hey Scott.”
“Whatcha looking for?”
“Book for English.”
“Cool, cool.”
“Mhmm.” Oh my God this is awkward. Please don’t ask. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. Someone pulled my attention away before Scott could say anything else.
“(Y/N)!”
“What?”
“Monty and Alex just got into it in the parking lot. You have to come see this.” Once again this morning, my eyes widened. They’ll probably stick like this if it happens again today.
“I’ll be right there.” I turned to Scott, abandoning my bogus search, “I uh… I need to go take care of that. I don’t know if I’ll be able to study today.” Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
“No problem. Go. I’ll see you later.”
“Okay, text me.” I called as I ran off.
I skipped our study sessions for the next week and I was cautious with our texts. It was like we were back at the beginning of our friendship. Could you even call it a friendship? Well, technically Friday wasn’t skipping. I had a doctor’s appointment. Scott didn’t appear to pick up on the change though. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was oblivious, like most other boys, or if he was just as freaked out as I was by the idea of dating. I used the time in the week that I should have been studying and would have been spending with Scott, to think about him. I thought about how easy our conversations had become and how comfortable and normal I felt with him. The way his piercing blue eye shone when he laughed. Or the way they narrowed slightly when he was silently judging some stupid comment his friends made. About how white his teeth were. The way he smiled when he finished a difficult homework problem. About how soft his hair looked. Oh dear. I’ve got it bad.
I texted Scott the next morning. Library this afternoon? He answered about half an hour later, while I was eating breakfast.
Sure. I’ll save you a seat.
Cool. I have leftover chocolate chip cookies.
In free period, I found Scott at a table in the corner of the library. His stuff was spread out on what looked like exactly half of it. There was a clear divide of where his stuff ended and where the free area was. Did he save half of the table for me? He looked up from his notes when I sat down. “Hey Ticat.”
“Hey Scotty. How’s the,” I paused and looked at his notes, “calculus coming?”
“It’s coming. I have a test tomorrow and I have no idea how I’m going to pass.”
“I can try to help you?”
“I’ll see how far I can get with this and go from there?”
“Of course.” I pulled out my geography notes and the cookies. We easily fell back into our usual silent study. It was like I hadn’t been bailing on him for a week.
When the bell rang, we packed up our belongings and snuck sly glances at each other.
“Walk you to class?”
“Sure.” I nodded and threw my book bag over my shoulder.
“How have you been this week?”
“You know. Busy.”
“Yeah. How was the doctor?”
“Good. I got a clean bill of health.”
“That’s good.” I cleared my throat, awkwardly. What happened to the way things were last week? “Hey (Y/N). Uh, did you want to maybe see a movie sometime?”
“A random see what’s playing next, movie?”
“Sure. Or, you know. You could pick a movie and we could see that.”
“Scott?” I stopped walking and stepped to the side of the hall.
“Yeah?”
“Are you trying to ask me out?”
“What would you say if I was?” I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
“I’d say I thought you would be much smoother and more direct. And also, I think I would like that.”
“Saturday afternoon?”
“Sure. Saturday works for me.”
“Awesome.” He stepped back into the crowded hall and walked me to class. Maybe Mike is right. Maybe this will be good for us. For me.
Saturday morning, I got up early to get ready. We had decided he would be at my place at 12:30. Since it had been so long since I had been on a first date and… and my last date had been with Jeff, I was more than a little anxious. I wasn’t sure what to wear. I wasn’t sure how to do my hair. I couldn’t call anyone to ask because I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell people I was going on a date. Staring at my closet didn’t really help the indecision. Jeans? Do people wear jeans on a first date? I pulled a few pairs out. A skirt is too formal. And I don’t want to make the wrong impression. Shirt? I need to wear a shirt. Flicking through the hangers, I picked a couple of choices that were nice but not too nice. Options in hand, I laid them out on the bed. The jeans were easy to pare down to one choice. I went with a comfortable pair of Levi’s. Again, they were nice, but not too nice. A safe choice. I ended up choosing a striped high neck tank top and grabbed a black cardigan to wear on top. Pulling a pair of flats out, I slipped them on and fixed my hair. I side braided it quickly and pulled a few pieces out to frame my face. It looked effortless. Presentable and like I thought about it, yes. But still effortless, nonetheless.
The doorbell rang just before 12:30. “I’ll get it!” I called out to my parents in the other room.
“K.” Mom responded. I hopped over to the door. Scott was standing on my porch with his hands in his pocket. His usual varsity jacket was traded for a simple grey hoodie.
“Hey (Y/N).”
“Hey Scott. Just let me grab my purse and we can head out?”
“Sure.” Purse in hand, Scott and I walked out to his car. He opened the door for me, and I smiled shyly at him. Why are you acting so shy? It’s Scott Reed. It’s not like you’ve never spoken to him before. Oh, I don’t know? Maybe because I’m going on a date with him?
“You look… really pretty.”
I blushed and looked down briefly. “Thank you. I wasn’t really sure what to wear, to be honest. You look pretty too.” I realized what I said, as soon as the words left my mouth. I can’t believe I just said that. Oh, my word. Scott burst out laughing. “Uh. I mean. Handsome. You look handsome. Very put together.”
“No, no. I’ll take pretty. I’m confident enough in my manhood that it’s a compliment. Not every day a girl calls me pretty. Let alone one I’m interested in.”
“Trust me, it happens. It might not be to your face. But it does happen.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” We were quiet for a time. My face was still pink from embarrassment. “Did you have any particular movie in mind?”
“No, not really. I thought we could give your whatever movie is next thing a go?”
“I like the way you think. As long as it isn’t 2001. Because there isn’t a more boring film in existence.”
“Oh my God, I know right? I had to see it with my cousin once for ‘family bonding time’ and I fell asleep like twice.”
“Your family does bonding time too?”
“Ugh. You don’t even want to know.” I sighed dramatically.
“Tell me about it next time?” Woah. Next time? That… doesn’t actually sound that bad.
“Next time? We haven’t even gotten through a movie together and you’re already talking about next time?”
“Well- I- uh- we-.”
“Scott. Relax. Ask me again on the way home?”
“Okay.” He sounded relived.
When we arrived at the Crestmont, the ticket person was staring blankly out the booth’s window. The joys of the Saturday afternoon shift, I guess. “Welcome to the Crestmont.”
“Hi. How are you?” Scott asked the boy. His name tag read Andrew.
“Good. And you guys?”
“Good.” We answered together.
“How can I help you?”
“Can we get two tickets to whatever is playing next?”
“Two tickets to Ferdinand in not 3D. That’ll be ten dollars please.” Scott handed him the cash and I took the tickets. “Enjoy the show.”
“Thank you.” I said.
Inside, the concession worker greeted us in a much kinder tone than the ticketer. “Any chance you’ll let me pay for the snacks?”
“Not even a little.”
“Oh, come on Scotty, you drove and paid for tickets. The least you could do is let me pay for snacks.”
“No, I’ve got it. Don’t worry about it Ticat.”
“Please?” I looked at him with my best puppy dog eyes. I could see the resolve begin to crack. “Pretty please?”
“Ugh. Fine. You can buy the snacks.” He caved, dramatically.
“Yay.” I said, softly. The cashier looked like she was trying not to laugh but she was smiling. “Hi. Can I get a pack of gummy bears and a medium Cherry Coke, please?” I turned to Scott, “are we sharing popcorn? I don’t really eat very much.”
“That sounds good.”
“Okay. And a large popcorn. And whatever he would like.”
“Can I get a pack of sour patch kids and a medium orange Fanta, please?”
“Coming right up.” I paid her and caught Scott grimacing in the corner of my eye. The puppy dog eyes always work. With our snacks in hand, we found some decent seats, given the time of day we were there. The movie was adorable. While it was technically for children, I found it to be incredibly heartwarming. Somewhere around thirty minutes into the film, our hands found each other on the shared armrest. We turned and smiled shyly at each other.
After the movie was done, we walked back to his car, hand in hand. It felt strange but also kind of nice. “I’m getting snacks next time, if I have to steal your wallet.”
“Scott Reed, commit a crime? Why I never.”
“You’d get it back after the movie.”
“Fine. But I thought next time was when I got to bore you with family bonding time stories.”
“Only because I get to bore you with mine. And fine. Then the third date.”
“It’s a date.”
JANUARY
Scott and I had been dating for about a month by now. We were keeping it on the down low. I wasn’t ready to announce to people that I was no longer the sad, grieving, heartbroken girl who was destined to be alone that they thought I should be. Scott understood that. As far as anyone at school was concerned, Scott and I were just friends. We had already been studying together so it wasn’t out of the ordinary that we were still doing that. They must have missed all the coy or longing glances we shot each other. If anyone saw us together outside of school, they assumed we were just helping each other through Jeff’s death.
Scott and I were on a date at Monet’s. It was a Sunday afternoon. It was abuzz with patrons looking for an afternoon pick me up after church or brunch. But to us, it may as well have been empty. We were still in that ‘we are the only two people who exist when we are together’ stage. Scott had just gotten back from ordering us a couple of refills. He had memorized my order already. I thought it was the sweetest thing. “So, we’ve never really talked about it but,” he paused. Oh no. Please don’t ask about Jeff. I’m not ready to get into all of that. And I don’t want to do it in public. I’m going to cry. I know I will. “you and Monty seem pretty close. What’s the story there?” Oh, that’s it? Just Montgomery? Phew.
“Not really much of a story. We grew up next door to each other before my parents moved across town in eighth grade. His family moved in about a year after mine did. I kind of took him under my wing, especially as we got older. There weren’t many kids our age in the neighbourhood. Or at least, none our moms would be okay with us spending time around. So, we had each other.”
“Interesting. He never mentioned it.”
“Well, he likes to keep his home life… private. Or….” I paused, unsure of how much Scott knew. It wasn’t my place to air that information unless necessary. Which, if you ask Monty, was never.
“As private as he can when his dad is his dad.”
“You know?”
“Yeah. He’s crashed on my couch a few times. And it’s kind of hard not to notice the bruises.”
“Yeah. Unless you’re and authority figure at school in this town apparently.” I muttered, bitterly. Scott scoffed in agreement.
“Your parents never…?”
“Offered to help? Of course, they did. He always refused. And as long as he knew he could escape to our place and be safe, they felt it ‘wasn’t their place to interfere’.” I rolled my eyes.
“I see.” He nodded, rolling his eyes too. “My parents are the same way. Give the kid a safe place for the night, some breakfast in the morning, and send him on his way.” I nodded.
“Anyway, yeah. We grew up together. Even though we are a year apart, it never really affected our friendship. Things were a little harder for a while after we moved. But that only lasted a few weeks. Everything went back to normal soon enough.”
“Cool. It’s good that he has you. The other guys….”
“Can be terrible excuses for human beings?” Scott laughed and smirked into his cup with a raise of his brows.
“Yeah. That’s one way to put it.”
“You know, it’s weird. Because I saw it from the outside looking in, in freshman year. And then when Jeff and I started dating in sophomore year, I got to see it from the inside to a degree. I never understood how Jeff did it. Or how you do it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well. You and Jeff are so… good. Like inherently good. I get the teammates and ‘you’re like family’ thing. But you guys are so different from the rest of them. And I see it with Monty too. Because I see the him that he doesn’t want the guys to see. The decent him. But he fits better I guess because I know he can have his, let’s call them moments. I never understood how you could stand by and watch it. I’m not trying to attack you or anything. Just so we are clear.”
“No, no I know. I guess… I guess it’s because you don’t want to be the odd guy out. Even though Jeff never said or did anything, he was still looked at like a brother. He was able to stay in the background with all of it and almost be the glue that kept the team from falling into complete debauchery. He gave us a shred of decency. So, everyone else had something to look to. Whether they always listened to the ‘Atkins Voice of Reason’ or not is a different story. I learned a lot from him and now it’s my turn to be the voice of reason. It’s a fine line and it can be hard to walk sometimes. But someone has to.”
“I guess that makes sense.” I nodded. We spent a little longer talking about lighter topics before parting ways. We snuck a few kisses in the alley beside the building first though.
FEBRUARY
Since we had started dating, Scott had come by the animal shelter a few times to help out. He said it was to see me. I saw right through his lies. He mostly just wanted to play with puppies for a few hours. I didn’t blame him though. I would do the same thing. He surprised me on a Wednesday evening. I came back into the shelter from a walk with a German shepherd and a rottweiler. It was a long one, so they were happy to be back so they could lounge around and beg for attention. When I entered the kennels, Scott was sitting in the middle of the puppy room, surrounded by a puddle of puppies. He was being attacked by fluff. One of the labs, Daisy, was trying to scale his chest to lick his face. A terrier mix, appropriately named Jack, was trying to get his attention by gnawing on his hand. He was giggling and had the absolute brightest smile on his face. A loud bark tore my attention away from him. The rottweiler was apparently upset that I wasn’t paying attention to him. “Oh, I’m sorry Rascal. Did you need something? Do you need some attention?” I cooed and reached out to rub his head.
“Need some company? My shift is over.” I asked as I walked into the room and shut the door firmly behind me.
“Always. How was your evening?”
“It was good. Only had to deal with a few accidents. How was practice.”
“It was alright. We had more than a few accidents.” He chuckled. Daisy had appeared to have managed the climb and was cuddled against Scott’s chest.
“I see you’ve made a new friend.”
“It looks like I have. She’s very cute. Think I could convince mom and dad to let me bring her home?”
“With you going off to college next year? I don’t think so.”
“Damn. At least that one has stopped trying to eat me.” He nodded towards Jack. He was curled up in a ball in his lap, sound asleep. The rest of the puppies were either sleeping now or trying to get attention from me. I shared the pets and love as equally as I could.
“Yeah. He hasn’t learned all of his manners yet. Eating people is not the most polite thing to do when you’re trying to get adopted.” We laughed quietly together. After another half hour, it was time to call it a night and head home.
A couple of Sundays after the puppy puddle, I decided I was ready to take a big step. I was finally ready to go and see Jeff’s grave with Scott. I had been on my own before and it had been hard. I would sit and talk to him for hours. I couldn’t tell him about Scott though. I felt like we had to go together to do that. Depending on what you believe, he probably already knew about us. But I wanted to tell him anyway.
I called Scott that morning. “Hey. Are you busy later?”
“Hey Ticat. No, I’m not. Why? Something on your mind?”
“Yeah. I was wondering if you wanted to go to Jeff’s grave with me today. Tell him about us?”
“Are you ready for that?”
“I think so. It’s time. I feel like it’s time for him to know. I need to tell him, but I don’t want to do it alone.”
“Of course, (Y/N). I’ll pick you up at one?”
“Okay.”
I decided to wear a skirt and a flowy top today. It was a nice day out. Scott picked me up and we stopped at the florist for some flowers. Jeff always got me purple tulips, so I grabbed a bouquet of them to leave on his headstone. At the cemetery, I walked hand in hand with Scott. We were both silent as we wandered through the maze of people’s final resting places. When we passed Hannah Baker’s grave, I took a single flower out of the bunch and placed it on her headstone.
It was both so long and yet much too fast before we were standing at the foot of Jeff’s grave. I neatly placed the flowers on the base of his headstone. Someone must have been by to visit recently because there was a worn-out baseball cap hanging off the corner. I could feel Scott’s eyes on me as I sat down and smoothed out my skirt. Since I normally came alone, I wasn’t really sure where to begin or what to say. He sat down beside me but didn’t reach out to take my hand. He was letting me do everything in my own time.
“I don’t know if you can hear me, wherever you are. But I’m choosing to believe you can.” Scott started after I hadn’t said anything. “I miss you. Everyone misses you. Coach Rick is still the same hard ass he’s been. We are hanging your jersey before our season opener. There’s some argument about if it should just be the team or if we should do it at the pep rally. I think you would want it to just be us.”
“Mrs. Davidson finally stopped reading out loud to us in Literature this week. Remember how she would just go on, and on, and on about the smallest, most insignificant details? And we don’t have to listen to her boring, monotone voice read every class now.”
“We have a chance at making state again this year. It won’t feel the same without you though. The guys are going a little crazy but I’m keeping things together. I think (Y/N) being around helps though. She really is amazing man. You have no idea how lucky you were to be with her. Or maybe you do. With the way you paraded her around like she was your pride and joy.”
“We really had something special. And I wish you were still here to keep sharing it with me. But you aren’t. And eventually, that will be more okay. And it will hurt less. But for now, it sucks. And it hurts. But I’ve started learning how to get through it. And I have help.” I reached out to take Scott’s hand in mine. He squeezed it. “Scott has been there for me every step of the way. Even the times when I wouldn’t be there for me if I were him. He’s seen it all. Heck, he’s seen me puking on the side of the road.”
“Or getting piss drunk at the docks.” I pushed him lightly.
“Yes. And he’s shown me that even though it hurts, I can let someone in again. I can be happy again. We’ve been together for a couple of months now. It’s harder some days than others. But he’s always there for me, no matter what. I understand why you liked him so much. He makes it hard not to. I see parts of you in him and it makes me smile on the hard days.” I had to pause because I was getting choked up.
“I see why you loved her so much. She makes it hard not to. She’s kind and smart and selfless. Even when she doesn’t need to be, she is. I wish I didn’t have to be, because you should still be here, but I am so thankful that I have the privilege of being with her. I hope you know that I will take care of her and I work every day to make her feel as loved and important as you made her feel. Our story can’t compare to yours, but I hope it makes you proud.” My tears had started to fall, and Scott pulled me into his lap. I cried into his shoulder. This was so much harder than I thought it would be. I miss Jeff. When my tears were under control, I looked at Scott for a moment. I looked back at Jeff’s headstone and was silent for a while. I was the first to stand. Brushing the dirt off my skirt, I reached out for Scott’s hand. He stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I moved the ball cap on top of the flower stems so it wouldn’t blow off in the wind.
“I love you.” I whispered. Turning around, Scott and I walked back to the car silently and drove home in somber, yet comforting silence.
MARCH
I was asleep on Scott’s chest when my phone began buzzing on the bed beside me. I slowly woke up and groggily searched for the unexpected noise. “Hello?” I whispered; my voice thick with sleep.
“(Y/N)?” Monty’s voice came through the other end of the line. He sounded like he was in immense pain. I sat up slowly, so I didn’t wake Scott.
“Monty, what’s wrong?”
“My arm. It really hurts. My old man. I, fuck, I don’t think I can drive. Can you come help me?”
“Uh…” I paused, looking at the man sleeping soundly beside me. “Yeah. Give me fifteen, twenty minutes.”
“Okay.” He said before he hung up.
I noted the time before waking Scott. It was just after one in the morning. “Scott.” I whispered, shaking him slightly. He grunted in response. “Scott, wake up for a second.” I urged again.
“Hmm? Wha’s goin’ on?” he mumbled as he woke up.
“I need to go take care of something. I don’t know when I’ll be back. You can stay here and go back to sleep. If I’m not back when you wake up, you can go home or you can stay here. If you stay there is cereal in the cupboard, and K-cups under the Keurig. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Okay (Y/N).” He muttered, already falling back asleep.
After quickly changing into a clean shirt and sweatpants, I ran downstairs. I left Scott a note on my dresser so he wouldn’t be too confused if he didn’t remember my telling him goodbye. I pulled up in front of Monty’s house and we drove silently to the hospital. I really hate it here. “What are we telling them this time?” I asked after I paid for parking.
“Sex?”
I blinked at him slowly. “What the hell kind of sex results in a possibly broken arm?”
“The really kinky kind?”
“Pick something better.”
“I fell down the stairs?”
“Alright. That could be believable.” With that, we made our way into the ER to have his arm fixed. We waited an hour to be seen and then another forty-five minutes for an X-ray.
“It looks like you won’t need surgery. I will need to cast it though.” The doctor advised.
“Alright.” Monty replied calmly, the pain meds having done their job. The doctor produced a bin of colours to choose from.
“Pick a colour and I’ll have you on your way soon.” He looked through them and decided on blue. Once wrapped and we were going to be on the way, the doctor added, “turn on the light next time.”
“Will do Doc. Thank you.” Monty replied and waved with his good hand.
Once we were in the car and on the way to my place, I realized I would need to explain Scott being over to him. Just tell him. I sighed before speaking. “Hey, so my parents are out of town, but you’ll need to sleep in the guest room.”
“Uh… okay? Why?” he asked.
“Because?”
“Because why?”
I felt my face heat up a bit. “Um… my room might already be… occupied?” I squeaked. I peeked over and his eyes widened.
“You mean…?”
“Mhmmm.”
“Who is it?”
“Scott?” I said, my voice raising an octave or two. Monty breathed out a whistle.
“Are we okay with that?”
I paused again, thinking. “Yes. Yeah, we are.”
“Well alright then.” he replied, leaning back and getting comfortable in the passenger seat. The house was quiet when we got back around four-thirty. Monty was tucked in the guest room as I slinked my way back into my own room. Scott was still sleeping soundly in bed. I crawled in beside him and went back to sleep for a few hours.
The following morning, I woke up and quietly made my way downstairs for breakfast. Monty followed not long after me, grabbing a mug and pouring himself a mug of coffee. I waited until he sat down and had a few sips before greeting him. “Morning Monty. Sleep okay?”
“Morning (Y/N). I slept okay. You?”
“It was alright. Warmer than I’m used to.”
“I’ll bet it was.” He smirked at me.
“Oh shush you.” Monty chuckled softly as I rolled my eyes.
“You’re sure you’re okay with this?”
“Yeah. I am.” I nodded, smiling.
“Good. That’s good.” He nodded and took another sip of coffee. We heard footsteps coming downstairs and looked up.
“Morning (Y/N).” Scott muttered from the middle of the stairs.
“Morning Scott.” I replied.
“Morning Scotty.” Monty greeted, as though this was a perfectly normal Saturday morning. Scott almost missed a step, he stopped so fast.
“Uh. Morning Monty?” He looked to me and raised a brow.
“He needed me last night. I had to tell him.” I shrugged.
“Okay.” He said, walking over to the Keurig and making a cup of coffee. The three of us stood around the kitchen slightly awkwardly looking at each other.
“Same rule applies as with my car. I’ll beat you if you scratch her.”
“Jump right to the threats, why not?” I muttered into my mug.
“I’m sure you will, Monty.”
“Damn straight.”
“Even though I’m your favourite friend?”
“(Y/N) is my favourite.”
“I’m your person. Not your favourite.”
“Yes you are.”
“You don’t call your favourite when you kill someone and need help hiding the body.”
“Excuse me?” Scott interjected, alarmed.
“She made me watch Grey’s Anatomy with her over spring break a couple of years ago.”
“Oh. I see. How was that?”
“It’s network tv with a lot of censored sex. And drama.”
“No boobs?”
“No boobs.”
“Yeah, it would be better with boobs. And if everyone stopped leaving and dying.” I added.
“Does this mean I have to watch it with you?”
“No, you might have to sit through an episode of The Bachelor though. I mostly just watch it because I don’t understand how none of those stupidly attractive people can find dates on their own.”
“You hate watch it. I can’t wait.”
“Well, you’ll get to look forward to what happens after we get done hate watching it.” I retorted, lowly. Scott rose his brow suggestively.
“Oh really?”
“And on that note! Who wants… whatever I can make (Y/N) cook with eggs, peppers, and… meat? What is this meat?” Monty cut in as he went through my fridge.
“I think it’s pork. Could be ground turkey though. There’s potatoes in the cupboard. Breakfast hash?”
“Sounds delicious.” Scott answered. I moved around him and got the bag of potatoes so I could start helping.
“How long has this been going on for anyway? Also remember that I’m still here so you can’t be all touchy.”
Scott looked at me before answering. “Since December.”
“How did I not notice?” Monty said after a pause.
“I don’t know. Too busy with sports and Bryce? There’s also spinach. Do I add the spinach?” I turned around and the boys were both making faces. “No spinach then.”
“I was not busy with Bryce.”
“Mhmm. That’s not why you blew off our movie marathon tradition?”
“Okay, point made.”
“How’s your arm?”
“It’s okay, hurts like a bitch. Why, Scott?”
“Just asking.” Scott turned to me and whispered, “his dad?” I nodded.
“No flirting.”
“I didn’t get to kiss her good morning, give me a break.” I turned and watched Scott playfully flip Monty off. Then, he placed a soft kiss to my lips and I smiled into it. “Good morning beautiful.”
“Good morning handsome.”
***
“Monty knows now.”
“He does.” I replied, leaning back into his chest on the couch. “He’s okay with it.”
“That’s good.”
“You aren’t going to be jealous, are you? Because there is nothing going on between us.”
“No, I know. What was the fight about this time?”
“Who knows. He called me and said he needed me, so I went. He wanted to tell the doctors it was a sex accident.”
Scott laughed. “What the fuck kind of sex would that have been?”
“The kind that would have broken his wrist, not his forearm.”
“You would have been the top?”
“Yes. So, you see why we couldn’t say that.”
“Right. That’s why.”
“We said he fell down the stairs.”
“Plausible.”
“Anyway, no idea what it was. But knowing his dad, it could have been anything. There’s a reason I don’t go to his house very often.” I left it at that and we cuddled on the couch for a while.
“Hey Scotty?”
“Yeah, (Y/N/N)?”
I sat up and turned to him. “Now that Monty knows, do you think we could tell other people? Maybe… maybe enough time has passed that people will understand?”
“I think we can tell people, if you want to. I don’t care what people think. I would have told everyone in January if you wanted to.”
“I know. I just… I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never been the girl whose boyfriend died before.”  
“I know. People might talk for a few days, but they’ll move on. No one expects you to have stayed single for the rest of your life.”
“Not my whole life necessarily. Just the rest of high school.” I joked.
“The people who complain can fuck off.”
“I guess. And things have kind of gone back to normal now. Or as normal as they can.”
“We don’t have to tell people if you don’t want to (Y/N).”
“I do. I think we need to. I don’t want to hide you anymore. It’s time for me to start living my life in the open again.”
“And honestly, I’m tired of hiding you.” We spent a little longer watching tv together. It was nice having someone I could just sit and be with again. We each took turns choosing shows. “I should probably head home soon sweetheart.”
“Okay. I’ll see you Monday?”
“Of course.” Together we gathered up his things and tidied the kitchen. Scott kissed me goodbye, and I leaned against the front door after he had driven away.
Monday would be the last big thing I had to do before graduation. It was the last step in beginning to move forward. I would always love Jeff Atkins. He would always be a part of me and hold a special place in my heart. But I had realized over the last several months that I could be happy again. I wouldn’t be betraying him for allowing myself to fall in love with someone again. And I had Scott Reed to thank for that.
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tigerdrop ¡ 3 years ago
Text
in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that
ta-dah
ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11
so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)
basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out
now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME
he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)
the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"
(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)
vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping
jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off
and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away
and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try
(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise
and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him
unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey
now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.
and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.
(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind
so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)
but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this
lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play
but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later
and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not
i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic
it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)
it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.
and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"
and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"
normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff
its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!
i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?
well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro
anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)
“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion
and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head
gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is
and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair
so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.
and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).
benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is
benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful
so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried
point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best
benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.
he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words
hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus
benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher
he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.
gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!
but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.
anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.
for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.
and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.
gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.
the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!
gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.
benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth
and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—
and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.
then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.
once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself
he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.
“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”
“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”
and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—
except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—
and—
oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.
then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”
“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”
“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”
“im not a bad dog!”
“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”
(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)
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tommybaholland ¡ 4 years ago
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Hi! I love you blog. May I have a one shot where Todoroki has a huge crush on the reader and has no clue what to do. So he goes to the flirt of 1A Denki. And can it be fluffy with a hint of suggestive. Thanks! 💓
setting up shoto
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featuring: todoroki
was inspired by the first ep of s5 and really ran with this idea so i hope it’s okay! this turned out pretty long so get comfy and enjoy the read! x 
todoroki had felt many intense emotions before, but none as intense as a romantic love. he didn’t know what he was feeling whenever he saw you. he felt as though it was just simple admiration, that you’re his friend and he is your friend. nothing more and nothing less. he wrote off the pang in his chest when he would suddenly see you as a surprise, like he felt when he watched you walk outside the grounds of the dorm building. however, he didn’t feel the same feeling when another voice appeared behind him. 
“hey, todoroki! whatcha doing? oh, spying on y/n i see. planning to make a move?” kaminari observed.
“i wasn’t spying, i was just passing by. and what do you mean? i am moving.”
“no, dude, like, tell them you like them.”
“why would i have to tell them that? they’re already my friend.”
“no, like, more than friends.”
“i’m not sure that it’s like that.”
“so you don’t like y/n? you just stare at them all the time on purpose?”
“i don’t stare. and of course, i like them. i just told you that they’re my friend.”
kaminari looked at him in disbelief. “you can be really dense sometimes, you know that? look, man, i have a sense for these things and you like them way more than a friend.”
todoroki never took the time to let his feelings marinate and process them properly. he didn’t need people to tell him how to feel but it could be difficult to compartmentalize when many years of your life were spent in spite and anger. he considered that kaminari could be right about this. if someone else could play witness, he feels as though he can’t be wrong in liking you more than a friend. 
“besides, i think if you tell them you like them, they can’t say no!”
“why?”
“because you’re like a babe magnet! and that’s coming from the guy with an electricity quirk.”
“why me?”
“i’m pretty sure most, if not all, of the girls secretly fawn over you. also, i’d be lying if kirishima and i hadn’t talked about who’s the best looking guy in the class, not including ourselves, of course.” 
he had heard this once before, but he couldn’t really care less about who’s the ‘best-looking’ in their class. not to mention that todoroki had absolutely no idea why they would pick him. he could say he is strong and has a pretty good handle on his quirk but other than that he’s pretty regular and nothing out of the ordinary. the fact that he’s hearing this from no one other than kaminari makes it even less credible. 
“look, man. i know you’ve been pining after them for three years now, ever since we all joined class A! i think it’s time you guys get together! and you came to just the right guy.”
“you came to me.” 
“so you’ll let me help you?”
“uh, sure?”
“yes! okay, you won’t regret this. actually, you’re probably going to be thanking me so you better practice now.”
“...thank you?”
“okay, come by my room later tonight. by then, i’ll have a plan that is sure to work for you.”
todoroki didn’t really see the point of this and he almost didn’t go but he said he would let his friend help him. so that’s how he found himself out front of kaminari’s dorm room, not knowing what to expect. 
he knocked politely on the door. there was some shuffling around and then he heard a voice through the door.
“password, please.”
“denki, it’s me.”
“i texted you the password.”
“yeah, but i don’t really want to say that--”
“just say what i texted you!”
“i don’t even know what it means.”
“it’s okay, you don’t have to know what it means! you just have to say it.”
todoroki sighed, preparing to humor his friend. “uh….big dong boys?”
“password accepted.” the door opened and as he entered the room, todoroki was greeted by another familiar face.
“hey, man!” 
“hope you don’t mind that i invited kirishima as well. he’s good support,” kaminari explained. 
“so todoroki,” kirishima began. “i heard about your crush on y/n.”
shoto liked these guys but sometimes he really didn’t know how to interact with them. 
“uh, sure?”
“that’s awesome, dude! i’m sure they’ll love to go out with you. kaminari and i have been brainstorming for a bit and we think we’ve come up with something good. you wanna explain?”
todoroki looked over to denki who nodded. “thank you. alright, so you and y/n are at the same work study, right?”
“yeah. it’s me, them, and camie.”
“okay, good-- wait, CAMIE?! that chick from shiketsu?”
todoroki blinked in his pause. “yeah.”
“why didn’t you say anything? that girl is so hot. oh my god, dude, you have to help me after this--”
“alright, man, can you just keep going with the plan?” kirishima chimed. todoroki appreciated that at least one other person didn’t want to completely waste his time. 
“right. right. so we were thinking that you and y/n could go on a mission together to ‘fight a villain’ or something dangerous like that.”
todoroki was perplexed by this seemingly simple solution. “but...we always go out on patrols together.”
“yeah, but this time, you guys will apprehend a villain and save people together and they’ll see how totally awesome and manly you are!” kirishima added. 
“i still don’t see how that’s any different from what we do normally.”
“hmm, yeah, now that i think about it, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of stakes here.” kaminari thought out loud. 
“hey, wait, remember that thing we read about earlier?” 
“oh, you mean that quiz about which haikyuu boy would hate you? i already told you, man, atsumu would definitely have beef with you. no question.”
“no, not that!” kirishima refuted. “although i do agree. he’d be pretty jealous of me.”
todoroki was rethinking about trusting these two with something like this. 
“but i’m talking about that thing we read about with the bridge?”
“oh, yeah...but can you explain it? i’m still a little lost by it,” kaminari admitted.
“okay, so earlier before you came in, we were doing some research on how to make someone more attracted to you and we found this study where they had people walk across a super tall bridge and rate photos of people. and they monitored their heart rate when they were on the bridge so they figured out that there’s, like, a connection between liking people and dangerous situations.”
todoroki grimaced while trying to work it out in his head. “so...you want to put y/n on a bridge and then they’ll...be attracted to me? i don’t get it.”
“no, i’m saying that there should be some kind of danger to them and then you save them or something--”
“and they’ll be like, ‘oh, todoroki, i love you! kiss me!’ mwah, mwah, mwah.”
kaminari made kissing noises at todoroki, very close to him, in fact. 
“okay, i think i see now,” he replied, pushing kaminari out of his face. “so do we just wait for a villain to show up or?”
“no, that’s part of the ruse!” kaminari clarified. “don’t worry, dude. we got it all sorted out. you just have to be your icyhot heroic self!”
“but you’re not actually going to hurt them or anything, right?”
“no, because you’ll be there to help them!” kirishima jumped in again. “i think we all know you’re pretty capable of handling anything.”
“i’d at least like to know what i’m up against.” 
“no, that’ll ruin the fun! then it’ll be more like a real fight,” kaminari justified. 
it was true that most villain encounters are a surprise and you never really know what you’re getting yourself into as a hero. in fact, that’s the majority of being a hero entailed: being ready for anything. however, todoroki could not escape the feeling of something going awry, despite this being planned out. but he figured that it could be worth it to try. 
“alright, let’s do it,” he agreed with the other two boys.
“yes! don’t you worry one bit, man. just leave it to me and kiri,” kaminari promised as kirishima nodded in agreement. 
they told him that they would shoot for two days’ time, after they got the villain or whoever set-up and it was during a shift at the agency. however, not even a day had passed until word got around the dorm of what was going to happen.
“todoroki,” yaoyorozu caught his attention one day in the common area of the dorm, while some of the class was eating dinner together. “is what kirishima and kaminari been talking about true?”
suddenly, almost everyone’s eyes were on him. luckily, you weren’t in the room but this conversation seemed to take place at an unfortunate time. 
“uh, what have you heard?”
“that you’re trying to woo y/n by saving them from a villain,” ashido interjected. “as if they couldn’t already save themselves!” 
“i know they’re capable and strong, but kirishima and kaminari said it would help,” he explained, recalling what he could of their conversation from the night prior.
“that sounds like something those idiots would come up with,” jiro pointed out.
todoroki shrugged. “they said it was based on science.”
“yeah, hold on a second, jiro,” called out the electric boy himself, who entered the room with mineta. “it’s backed by science, so it has to be legit!”
jiro only rolled her eyes while uraraka tried to de-escalate. “it just sounds really dangerous, that’s all.”
“gosh, it’s like you guys have no faith in him. i mean, this is todoroki we’re talking about!” kaminari refuted. “try telling me you guys wouldn’t want to be saved by him! that’s right, you can’t.”
“listen, it’s not that your plan won’t work, kaminari,” yaoyorozu reasoned. “it’s just that he might want to try something more practical and...sensible.”
“yeah, like take them out on an actual date!” ashido exclaimed. 
“but that’s so boring!” 
“guys, why don’t we ask todoroki what he wants to do since he is the one involved,” yaoyorozu offered. 
“okay, yeah. you have been pretty quiet. what do you think, todoroki?” kaminari questioned. 
todoroki blinked a few times, thinking lightly on his options. “i’m not sure. i agreed to let them help me but--”
“BUT,” kaminari interrupted, getting in his face again. 
todoroki pushed him out of the way before continuing. “yaoyorozu and the others do have a point.” 
“yay! now you can let the girls help you out!” ashido declared. 
“oh, yeah! we could set you and y/n up on a cute date,” uraraka chimed while the other girls nodded in agreement.
“okay.”
“what?! you’re just going to let them take over? ugh, fine. i guess it’ll be better this way. but don’t blame me if their plan gets completely messed up,” kaminari huffed. 
“yeah, but imagine if it does work, dude,” mineta spoke up. “it’d be so hot to watch them kiss and feel each other up.”
everyone ignored that comment and continued to help form a new plan for todoroki. while he appreciated the concern and help from his friends, the girls did ask a lot of questions. 
“what do you like about them?”
“should we tell them that you like them?”
“have you thought about tonguing them down yet? c’mon man, we need details!”
todoroki had half a mind to freeze the perverted grape. nevertheless, thoughts and feelings had crossed his mind many times. he had more time to think it through and at this point, his feelings cut through him deep. he tried to express everything he could about the subject at hand. 
“well, i feel different around them. different than i do around everyone here. even though they’re my friend just as much as any of you, my body feels...weird around them. there’s this pang in my chest when i see them and even when i know i’m going to see them, i feel these tingles throughout my body. sometimes i find myself not being able to speak around them and it’s harder when they’re looking right at me. i don’t know what it is, but their eyes just make me lose my words. my face gets warm whenever they smile or laugh or even when they talk, i feel different. despite that i feel like this, i never want them to be too far from me because i kinda enjoy the feeling they give me. i hope that all makes sense.”
everyone just stared at him with expressions of awe. there was no other way he knew how to say it.
“oh em gee,” ashido finally broke the silence. “you sound like you’re in love, todoroki!” 
“yeah, this is more serious than we thought,” kaminari added with everyone nodding in agreement. 
love? 
“are you sure? i thought i just had a lot of admiration for them,” he replied. 
“while a lot of admiration is one thing, having a physical reaction to their presence seems to be another,” yaoyorozu analyzed. “you seem to like them a great deal and that could be something comparable to love.” 
he had never considered the possibility of being in love with someone. sure, he had felt love from other people in his life like his mother, his siblings, and his friends. however, those were different kinds of love; familial and platonic. those were types that he was comfortable with or grew to be more comfortable. 
romantic love, though, was completely beyond him. there was a time when he barely had any friends, let alone romantic prospects. but now he has many friends and the fact that out of all his closest friends that you were the one he has immense feelings for, must mean it’s love. 
-
after replacing the fake villain ploy with a date idea, todoroki thought he might feel a little more at ease. but that was not the case. 
he had been trained his entire life to be the strongest, greatest hero of the new generation. although part of that had been an ulterior motive to spite his father, todoroki felt more natural in situations where he could put all that work into practice. he wanted to be a hero so that’s what he was meant to do. 
he never imagined he’d be sitting alone at a small side street restaurant waiting for you. the plan involved you meeting up with him for lunch after you finished getting a few extra work study hours at the agency. the girls urged him to ask you out and with a little more encouragement, it seemed to work out alright. although it was a little awkward, considering he decided to ask you right after you came from a shower.
“hey, y/n?”
“yes, todoroki?” you replied as you shifted your weight, standing in front of him in nothing but a towel, your hair damp and your shower kit held against your chest. 
“uh,” he tried his hardest not to stare at the idle droplets of water still resting on your shoulders and chest. “do you like noodles?”
“well, i like pho. you know that,” you smirked in response. 
“right. of course,” he shook his head, almost forgetting where he was going with this. “there’s this noodle bar place and it's kind of in a weird spot in town but they have really good soba and other types of noodles so...i was just wondering if you wanted to go or something? maybe tomorrow for lunch?”
“oh, um, yeah. i could do that. i have a small shift tomorrow at the agency. camie and i are doing some teamwork building type stuff but i can meet you there after that. is 4 too late? we should be done by then.”
even though he likes hearing your voice, he almost blacked out after you said, “yeah.” it wasn’t until he heard your voice again that he caught himself staring.
“todoroki?”
“oh, um, i’m sorry. what did you say?”
“it’s okay,” you let out a small laugh. “i asked you wanted to meet up at 4 after i’m done at the agency.” 
 “oh, of course. sounds perfect. i can text you the address.”
you nodded in response, turning slightly on your heels to leave. but he wanted a little more confirmation. 
“so i’ll see you tomorrow?” 
“yep! see you.” 
he had been texting you ever since then but your messages had slowed down due to what he assumed was your start of your shift at the agency. he checked the group chat that kaminari had made called ‘setting up shoto’ which included everyone who became involved in this whole thing. kaminari said it was where he could tell them the ‘deets’ after you and him had met up. he didn’t really think he would need to tell them but even if he did, there was nothing to report. he did show up thirty minutes before your agreed meeting time, but he wanted to make sure you didn’t show up early somehow, therefore making him the late one. he felt like he’d rather be safe than sorry. 
4pm came and went. soon fifteen, twenty, and now thirty minutes had gone by without a message from you or the others. he thought about texting you to ask if everything was alright, but knowing how strict the agency was with phone use, you probably wouldn’t answer right away. he figured everything was probably fine and that you were just running late. he couldn’t argue that there were several occasions in which you all had to stay a little later because things just happen sometimes. 
although, he admitted that he wished that you would show up soon so the hard part would be over or he would stop feeling so ‘lovesick’ as ashido would say. suddenly, his phone vibrated loudly against the steel table, making him jump in his seat. 
it was kaminari.
“hello?”
“DUDE!”
todoroki pulled the phone from his ear, wincing at his loud voice coming through the speaker. 
“ow. that hurt my ear, you know.”
kaminari seemed to ignore him as he frantically continued. “todoroki, you gotta get downtown. there’s a freaking huge, scary villain here and y/n is--”
todoroki sighed. “denki, i thought we agreed that we weren’t doing that anymore. i’m sitting here waiting for them to eat with me but they seem to be running late.”
“that’s because they’re here fighting this thing!”
he heard loud background noise that was comparable to screaming. 
“wait, are you serious?”
“yes, i’m serious! kirishima and i came out to make sure they were on their way to you but then we heard screaming-- wait, here i’ll show you. hang on.”
todoroki pulled the phone from his ear to watch the screen change from audio to video mode. kaminari’s face showed up for a second before flipping the camera to show the view of the street. they seemed to be hiding with several civilians behind a building as the camera creeped around the corner. todoroki watched and his eyes widened as he saw a huge, black, slimy-looking villain which was filling up the street and trapping people in its path. the quality wasn’t great but he could pick out what looked like you and camie trying to stop or distract it from causing any serious destruction. however, it seemed to only be provoking it more. todoroki stood up from his seat as he recognized where this was all happening.
“can you see him?”
“yeah. i--”
“you have to come help us, todoroki! i don’t have my support item and kirishima can’t land a good punch on him without getting stuck in this gross tar stuff. you have to hurry!”
“okay, i think i know where you are. just try to stall until i get there and get people to safety.”
he quickly hung up and focused on getting to the scene as soon as possible. he was still only a student, a hero-in-training. he’d probably get in serious trouble for taking matters into his own hands but he couldn’t sit back and watch his friends and you get hurt. he didn’t have his hero costume, support items, first-aid, nothing. he also didn’t have time to run back to campus to get his hero costume or any supplies. he’d have to make do with just his quirk alone. 
he arrived at the scene from the alley where kaminari and kirishima were gathering civilians to safety into an entrance on one of the sides of the buildings. kaminari and kirishima exclaimed simultaneously at his presence. 
“oh, thank god. you’re here!”
“alright, todoroki!”
todoroki tried to quickly assess the situation. “did you call the police or any pros?” 
“we reported it and the police should be here soon,” explained kirishima. “there are also several pros but this thing is really putting up a fight. even fat gum couldn’t handle him!” 
“looks like i’ll just have to freeze him--”
“wait, dude, no!” kaminari grabbed him. “that’s why this has been taking so long. he’s able to hold hostages easily!”
todoroki observed the scene in front of him. the sticky goo was everywhere and seemed to have no limit as to how far it could move. there were several civilians still trapped, along with you and camie at the center of it all. 
“trust me, i thought about electrifying it all but that wouldn’t be fun for the people who are, you know, trapped.” 
“we need to get everyone to safety before we do anything drastic!” kirishima reasoned. 
todoroki kept quiet as he tried to think it through. there wasn’t going to be enough time to try to save everyone and stop it from taking anyone else. 
“i think i have an idea but we’re going to have to be fast.”
maybe he couldn’t freeze all of it but his fire could be just as powerful as his ice. he started at the back, where the goo seemed to end and couldn’t move much further. he used his fire to put pressure back on it while freezing any parts that tried to attack him. kirishima and kaminari quickly collected the freed civilians and the pros that were there followed suit to help them out. camie was freed at the base of it with the rest of the hostages and helped to distract it from what todoroki was trying to accomplish. 
“wow, shoto. it’s like you have a sense for danger. so cool!” she complimented brightly. 
the thing was holding you up high, presumably to keep you from attacking, which made it more difficult to free you. todoroki decided it was time to freeze the rest of it so it could be stopped. he used ice that wouldn’t freeze you to death and stopped it so the ice wouldn’t completely cover you. 
the goo stopped moving and seemed to be fully imobile. you were safe but todoroki still had to free you. he sliced through the ice with his left hand, detaching you from the whole. he had kirishima catch you, as you were still caught in ice and goo. 
“i’m going to melt the ice away now,” he explained as he was back at your side again.
you nodded, too cold to speak, and he placed his left hand on top of the ice, melting it away quickly. unfortunately, the goo was still intact underneath and apparently could still move when detached from the source. it looked like it was expanding to cover your entire body, which made you begin to panic. 
“todoroki! what’s happening?”
“i, i don’t know but just relax, okay? we’re gonna get you out of this.” 
he looked around to see the top that was left exposed in the ice detached itself and moved over to where they were. 
“todo-- mph”
“y/n!” 
he looked down to see that the goo was slowly covering your face. he tried to pull it down but the sticky, thick substance was almost unmoveable. suddenly a deep, ominous voice appeared.
“release the rest of me or they die.”
todoroki gritted his teeth, an angry scowl on his face. “you have no room to make threats.”
“and you have no room to compromise. they’re going to suffocate if you don’t make a decision.”
he looked down to see that you stopped struggling, your eyes closing as the goo had almost covered your entire face. 
“fine. take it and leave,” he replied, angrily throwing a fireball at the ice. steam flew into the air as the body was released.
“much obliged,” the villain snickered before snaking into one of the sewer drains. 
the rest of the goo on you had moved up and off your limp body. 
“y/n?” 
-
you opened your eyes with a jolt, your brain fuzzy for a moment as you took in your surroundings. it looked like you were back at the dorm in your room. it was strange as you last remember seeing todoroki’s face. 
“are you awake?”
you gasped at the sudden voice. 
“todoroki!”
“sorry. i didn’t mean to scare you.”
you didn’t know what question you should ask first. “why-- where-- what happened?”
“well, you were unconscious so i brought you back here. i wanted to make sure you woke up so i waited,” he explained. “are you feeling alright?”
“um, yeah. i’m okay,” you replied as it was all coming back to you. it also explained why you were still in your hero costume. 
“what time is it?”
“it’s late. almost 11. are you hungry?”
“yeah, a little-- wait, we were supposed to go to that place, right? you and i?”
he grinned at your sudden thought. “yes.”
“i’m sorry i missed it! i really wanted to go but didn’t think we’d have to take care of a villain.”
“it’s okay. it happens, right?”
“yeah, that’s true. do you want to order something and eat now? i know a place that delivers late and i’m pretty sure they have soba,” you offered. 
he felt that pang in his heart when you grinned at him. 
“yeah. i’d like that.”
he ordered the food and remained in your room as you went to wash up and change out of your costume. when the food arrived you simply ate and talked. he was grateful that you did most of the talking, as he was a bit sleepy and he was normally in bed by this time. nevertheless, he enjoys listening to what you have to say even if he’s a little out of it.
“by the way, how did you know about the villain?”
“what?” he asked incredulously. 
“the villain, how did you know?”
“oh, um, well, i, um, kaminari told me.”
“oh, right. i remember him and kirishima being there too. what a coincidence, huh?”
“actually, it wasn’t,” he admitted, causing you to look confused.
“what do you mean?” 
“they were there because, um, because…”
“because?” 
“because i love you.” 
your expression kept him talking. his heart was talking. 
“i really admire you and kaminari and the others think that i’m in love. today was supposed to be part of a plan to get me to spend time with you. i don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened though because to be frank, i’m happy wherever you are. even sitting here while you were lying unconscious in bed. sorry if that’s weird. i practiced how i was going to tell you what i feel but it’s so complicated. now i am thinking that there’s only one way to say it. everyone was right. i’m in love.” 
todoroki had felt free only once before now. when midoriya told him to claim his power as his own. claiming his love for you felt the exact same. 
“i love you too.”
it was his turn to look shocked. 
“y- you do?” 
“yes. and i’m so glad you told me. i could never really gauge how you felt so i hid it for a long time and tried to enjoy just being as close as i already am with you.” 
his head was a mess upon hearing this but in a good way. he didn’t think he’d come this far or have this result. he’d admit that it was a bit overwhelming. 
“can i...can i hug you?” you asked, breaking the pregnant pause. 
“oh, um,” he stuttered. he really, really wanted to hug you. he’s held you before but that was different. that was when you were unconscious. this time would involve awareness.  something about the thought of touching you in a rather sensual way made him even more rattled. 
“it’s okay if it’s too much right now. you can let me know when you’re ready.” 
“i would like that. to hold you, i mean,” he answered. 
“okay,” you grinned before slowly moving over to him. 
you wrapped your arms around his shoulders to pull him against you. no matter how prepared he thought he could be for this, he wasn’t at all. he gasped softly at the impact of your body against him, part of his face slightly smooshing into your neck. his arms slowly came to wrap around your waist, his fingertips barely touching your back. soon enough you felt his arms tighten around you and his face nuzzling deeper into your neck. he gripped the back of your shirt lightly and the noises emitting from him sounded like he was crying. 
“are...you okay, todoroki?” you questioned, concerned that you were making him uncomfortable. you pulled back slightly, your eyes meeting with glossy, familiar ones. 
“yeah, i,” he chuckled to himself, wiping the stray tears. “i think i love you more than i thought.”
“me too,” you agreed. 
“can you say my name?”
“todoroki.”
“no, my first name.” 
“shoto.”
“i like that,” he mused, his eyes bright and cheeks red. his hands trailed up your back, pressing you back into him. 
“and i love you.”
“i love you too, sho.”
he planned on never letting you go. 
-
bonus:
“what a beautiful sight,” kaminari observed, watching the young couple hold hands as they walked in the distance. 
“yeah, they’re so cute,” agreed kirishima.“i can’t believe it’s already been almost a month since they started dating.”
“yeah,” kaminari concurred, wiping a fake tear from his eye. “our little shoto todoroki is growing up so fast! i’m still gonna credit myself for that, even though he hasn’t thanked us yet.”
“well, y/n did almost die, dude. i don’t think he’d be too happy to hear that we were behind it,” kirishima point out.
“maybe so...but like i said, he had it all under control!”
“i still can’t believe you went through with that, just to get to talk to camie.”
“that was not the only reason! i did it for todoroki and had complete faith in him. it only proved how much more he loves them, really,” kaminari justified.
“yeah, i guess i can’t argue with that.”
“and besides, i guess karma has come. camie already left me on read.”
“aw, that sucks dude.”
“but thanks for helping me set everything up with rappa. how did you repay him for getting the asphalt guy?”
“oh, i put in a good word for him at the reform program at fat gum’s agency and he seems to really like it.”
“that’s so cool! you know, i always believed that most villains could turn around. it’s like-- oh my god, dude! camie just texted me!”
“well, what a coincidence. maybe now you should be the one thanking todoroki and y/n.”
“yeah, yeah, yeah. whatever.”
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last one for tonight’s bnha night! requests still welcome..
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echo-three-one ¡ 4 years ago
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How ‘bout Jealous Soap x reader?
Hello Earthisdonut 🌍 🍩
I saw your ask while I was at work and I can't stop thinking about how the story goes... I had a lot of ideas but as I wrote, it kept on swinging on the other direction. Maybe it's my feelings being resonated into the words or an entire force telling me to go this way. Anyways here you go...
A jealous soap x reader fic.
Take me home
You take a deep breath and closed your eyes, clearing away the mixed sounds of random chatter, loud tv commentary and the all the yelling. 'Friday evening shifts are the worst' you thought to yourself as you make your way back to your station, wearing a smile on your face.
"Hey miss!" a customer whistled from the far end of the counter. You hastily walked to him and smiled. 
"What can I get you?" you asked with sincerity in your voice. You've worked long enough to master the art of faking a smile when in fact you are tired, but this job is all you have and the tips kept the bills afloat.
"Two beers and roasted nuts, please." He ordered, you were impressed at how kind he was, unlike the other new customers who reeked of rudeness and bad manners.
"Coming right up, Sir!" you winked as you tend to his order, mentally noting his tab for later. You hand him over the beer, placed on a circular chip that served as a coaster, followed by a heaping bowl of roasted nuts.
This kind of scene continued throughout the night, just with different kinds of people with different combinations of orders. You feel tired but you tend to forget it when you look at the tip jar, the thing that kept you moving forward. It's also the thing that's holding you back from life, you remembered when your best friend told you that you should unwind sometimes instead of rendering overtime during your day offs, to which you replied : "Soon enough", and that was well over a year ago.
As you wiped off the recently left spot by the counter, a well built man immediately took the spot and sat down, you tilted you head upward as the action surprised you. There he was, you couldn't miss his look, he stood out on the crowd because of his haircut, a perfectly cut mohawk and a scar on his left eye. He grinned at you, his blue eyes looked excited as soon as it met yours.
"John? I didn't know you'd be home!" You gasped as soon as you realized he's actually there, quickly putting a shot glass and pouring his favorite drink.
"Hey Y/N! I knew I'd find you here!" his hand gestured for a shake but he quickly dismissed it as soon as he realized he couldn't do it while you're at work.
"Yeah, working as always." you replied, trying to sound contented. He smiled at you as he raised his glass and downed the drink. You couldn't help but look at the way his Adam's apple moved as he consumed the drink.
His face turned into something incomprehensible as he let the taste of the strong alcohol set in, making you chuckle a little. His eyes turned to you as he heard you laugh.
"What's funny?" he asked. You simple shook you head and poured another pint on his shot glass. 
"I'll be back in a few. I have to serve drinks for these wild crowd." You informed him, but as soon as you were about to step out, you hear him stand up.
"What time will you be off?" He asked.
"Two more hours." You replied without looking back. You could feel your cheeks warm up and an uncontrollable smile plastered on your face. 
"Okay. I'll be here till then." he yelled as you entered the door to the employee's area. 
'Shit Shit shit shit.' you whispered to yourself as you regain composure. He felt way off. He didn't act like this toward you before. You could feel something odd between you two, and you're very distracted about it.
You made your way to your manager's office to request a five minute break. You knew he'd approve a breather from you because he was a accommodating to you since day one. You believed it's because you always give it your all in every shift.
You softly knock on his office door and pushed it slightly ajar, peeking your head through it as you saw him on his desk, doing some paperwork.
"Ah, Y/N. You need anything, love?" he greeted in his usual tone. His endearment didn't matter you as he calls every female "love".
"Can I take a five? Just needed to breathe." you huffed. He nodded in approval and stood up. 
"Let's puff it out, yeah?" he smiled as he offered a stick of cigarette.
The cold breeze of the Saturday evening wrapped around your work uniform. The noise from the bar was muffled but occasional screams would echo across the street. You exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke through your mouth as the relaxing feel of nicotine coursed through your system. Smoking was your go-to activity whenever you feel extreme unexplained emotions, such as seeing John MacTavish after a long time.
"Tough crowd?" Your manager turned his head to you as you casually leaned on the cold metal railing.
"Not really. I just saw someone I least expected to see." You retorted, pressing your lips against the cigarette butt as you closed your eyes and inhaled the vice.
"Someone you hate?" He queried. 
"Not necessarily. But at one point of my life, maybe... It's just... it's complicated." You complained, sighing at the thought of him once again. You mentally fought against yourself whether to reminisce or not, reminding yourself that the reason you went out here was to clear your head, not to fill it with memories of summer 4 years ago.
You fixed your posture and flicked off the cigarette butt to the ashtray. Your boss followed, escorting you back to the office. 
"Thanks for the company. I needed it." You thanked him as you crossed the street. He hummed in acknowledgement as he opened the door for you. You couldn't help but scan the room quickly for a mohawk, but he wasn't around. Maybe he went to the bathroom, you thought to yourself as you get back to your station.
9:59 pm. Your eyes trailed to the huge digital clock by the door, rapidly moving across the crowd still no mohawk in sight. This actually made you sad, he wasn't the kind of guy who dissappoints, you always saw him as a man of his word. You did confirm that he already paid for his tab about an hour and a half ago, just after your short break.
Guess you're going home alone. So much for ' I'll be here till then' you mentally argued, frowning as you wiped off the last glass in the tray.
10:00 pm. You sighed and lazily grabbed your time card and let the huge metal clock record your departure. You felt your energy quickly deplete due to the dissappointment that is John MacTavish.
"See you on Monday!" you waved goodbye to your coworkers who seemed to notice your sudden loss of energy. You push the back door slowly and stepped outside. It was getting cold and you weren't prepared for it.
"Hey." A low scottish accent muttered just beside you, making you yelp in surprise.
"Holy crap, you scared the shit out of me!" you angrily punched his strong arm, hurting yourself in the process.
"I'm sorry." he spoke lazily, almost tired or drunk. You couldn't exactly tell, but it was far from his tone earlier. 
"Pretty chilly, eh?" you asked him, imitating his accent. Something that you always considered a major turn on when it comes to him.
"A little bit. And your impression is way off, I don't say it like that." he retorted nonchalantly making you worry if something happened while he was waiting.
"You seem a little off, what's the problem?" you asked, playfully bumping him while you walked the empty streets on your way home.
"It's just... uh.. Nevermind." he trailed off, his secrecy was making you impatient and you stopped on your tracks. He continued walking, looking down at the ground until he noticed you're no longer beside him.
He turned back. "You forgot something?" 
"I don't get you." you raised your voice. He slowly walked back to you until he's just inches away from your face.
"Yeah. I'm sorry. I should've just asked..."
"Asked what? You told me you'd stay here till my shift is over and then you're gone like that?" you complained, the tone of your voice was demanding and you could see him flinch when words hurt.
"I didn't want to raise suspicion." 
"Who would be suspicious of you?!"
"Shortly after you left, I took a smoke. But I didn't do it by the smoking area. I was way up here, enjoying the breeze." he said, turning to the smoking area which was very visible from up here. Was he sad because he saw you and your manager by the smoking area? What kind of eyes did he have? You didn't want to assume things so you started to supply him with questions to fill in the blanks.
"And? Was the area too sad for you to be all emo like that all of a sudden?" you complained, soing your best impression of an angry person, but you know deep inside that you couldn't get angry at this man.
"Yeah. You could say that." he chuckled. He couldn't even look at you anymore.
"Bullshit." you retorted. He slowly tilted his head and smiled as soon as your eyes met. The view was so gorgeous you almost felt like the world was in slow motion.
"You don't have to believe me if you want. Why are you walking with me home anyway. You could've said no. I bet he has some nice fancy car to drive you home." he blurted, fog started to huff out of his mouth as the snow started to fall from the sky.
"Where are you going with this, John?" you spat, letting the emotions get the best of you. If only he was clear enough then this wouldn't have happened.
"I saw the two of you smiling while talking, I thought to myself. Yeah, she's happy with that bloke huh, I wish I knew that before I invited her earlier." he breathed out. You almost felt guilty, but it wasn't your fault. He easily assumed things that weren't even true.
"What made you think we're together? Just because we're smoking together doesn't mean we're in a relationship. Is that what you thought?" you replied, fighting back helping him on his way to the truth.
He paused, it's as if his whole thought process was shattered when your words stung him. 
"I got jealous. To be fair, I was gone for 4 years... I always thought you already found someone else within that time." he frowned. It was not usual of him to feel this vulnerable.
"Look-" you tried to explain but you suddenly felt his warm embrace wrapped around you.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered. The same words he said before leaving 4 years ago. The same words that hurt you back then and the same words that's going to hurt you at this moment. He was the one that got away, he was the one whom you shared your most magical moments with, but not the one who's going to be there until the end. He'll have to leave anytime soon, as his job requires him to save the world. You told him he could settle for less risky world saving endeavors but he insisted that this was his purpose. And you were not willing to let him choose again.
"You know... you're not supposed to feel jealousy." you consoled, rubbing his well sculpted back. 
"I know... I couldn't help it." he whispered. 
"Let's get you home, John." you whisper to him as he pulls away from you, his face pouted like a baby whose candy got stolen.
"Why are you here anyway?" you added.
"I'm getting reassigned to a new task force. I figured I could say goodbye to someone I hold dear." he smirked, he felt normal, but then again you couldn't help but feel that this would be the last time you'll be seeing him. You we're thinking he won't be able to travel freely back here anymore or worse, he'll be the hero the world wanted him to be.
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