#i already talked about drum in my first post about her long long ago but i think she deserves a new infodump | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wthtorke · 2 years ago

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Chosen

Engineer X Afab Reader - Posted a month ago on my Patreon! Enjoyy!

After the previous reports on how the species identified as Engineers -, also known as space jockeys, Mala'kaks, or even Ossians-, had a special connection with music, the next messages sent in hopes of establishing contact were filled with various clips of humans singing and dancing; implemented in the hopes of catching their creator’s attention.

Videos from all over the Earth made it to yet another Engineer military ship.

At first, the signal enraged them. Humans; their only successful experiment; the galaxy's child; Rotten, selfish, violent, and primitive.

The Captain's second in command, his Chief Officer, wanted to retaliate as soon as the signal reached their sensors, talking about how their species had been generous in letting them live for so long already. Still, something about the signal made the Captain curious.

Why would they reach out like this? With what intent? What could they want to say?

Gathering his crew, he played the message.

The first few seconds showed a family; it seemed; the grown males and females played different instruments as the children danced to the tune.

The crew and the Captain kept watching, with each Intro over; each other clip had different humans in it, each presenting their style of music, dancing, singing, smiling at whatever or whoever was recording them. “Culture” was the word plastered all over it; they knew what they were doing with the melodic tune they played throughout the video. But that wasn’t all. Clips of architects discussing plans of a building, followed by a timelapse of said building rising from the ground as several humans worked on it through seemly years, all in a couple of seconds. They saw an elderly-looking woman twirling her fingers holding long, fine needles in her hands, turning the simple thread into an intricate design, showcasing it proudly with a smile. Children hand-painted walls and then each other, laughing. None of the kids seemed to be related; none of them looked alike; maybe a school?

They played the videos over and over again for hours, for days. Analysing, focused, critical. They'd eye each other, whispering their thoughts as the video went on, some already had their opinions set in stone, but others had something akin to a smile as their favorite singer or dancer appeared on the screen one more time.

There was no message back. No response.

Until their ship came knocking on the Earth’s doors.

The ship landed close to where the message had originated from, a military base on the outskirts of a city. And hours later, while the Earth’s ‘representatives’ blabbered their welcomes, a massive crowd forming around them, the ship’s occupants had other intentions.The ship’s Captain lifted his hand, and all noise died down, and holograms formed on his palm, showing the frozen images from the clips they sent, a few from the hundreds featured in the video.

Male ballet dancer, Paris. Female Street dancer, Memphis. Female flutist, Venice. Male singer, New York. Female violinist, Coimbra. Female Belly Dancer, Tijuana. Female Kabuki dancer, Tokyo. Male drum player, Kinshasa. Female pottery artist- Sidney.

Confused about what these specific pictures meant, several translators were brought to their location alongside droids, trying to replicate their language. After ten minutes of struggling, and a very irritated Captain, finally, the message got across.

"I want these humans here, now."

The translators told their superiors what they demanded, not sure why they needed those specific people there, but after luring a dormant alien species out of their hiding spot in the galaxy, complying was the only option.

It took two days to get everyone from the list there. There were tents. Thousands of them set up around the ship, where the human military forces had quickly set up a barrier separating the civilians from the ship’s walls, as futile as it all seemed.

“Out of every fucking thing they could want, they want some singers and dancers. It’s so fucking stupid.”

“We set ourselves up for this one. We knew they liked hippies. They -are- the original hippies for crying out loud.”

“Pretty ballet dancers? Okay- a hot belly dancer? Sure. Now what the fuck do they want with a -pottery girl-?”

“Fuck if I know, Jared-” The two men argued as they reached the double doors that led outside again, the blinding light of the scorching sun fading as their eyes adjusted to it. The crowd cheered and booed as they pleased, two sides of each coin, even in this situation. The news feasted on the subject. “Human kidnapping?” “Human selection?” “Human sacrifice?”

At the top of the ship’s ramp stood the Captain and his crew, nine engineers in total, all waiting, stonefaced, and unmoving.

“Everyone here speaks English, right?” Said one of the men to the group of young adults gathered around them, the people they requested two days ago. After some nodding and yessing, he hums. “Great. You are not to say shit until we say so. These aliens are hostile until they show us otherwise. We don’t know why they requested your presence here specifically, though it has a tie to the videos of you we sent. You got instructed on how to act, so I’ll remind you: Stay the fuck still, stay the fuck quiet, and pray to whatever religion you follow that they won’t choose to fuck us up this time. Understood?” He doesn’t give any time for responding as the two men start walking to the gate, the group of people following behind them. The gates open, and they all follow to the base of the ramp, where two droids await.

“These are Adam and Eve, our translators. They have spent a limited time with our visitors and learned more or less a chicken scratch of their language.” The droids nod and turn forward again, facing the ramp.

The crowd’s noise dies away as the Captain takes the first step down the ramp, followed by his crew. Their walk was almost in sync as if they were droids themselves. It’s a long way down, each step building up more and more the tension in the air. They don’t reach the ground, stopping a little from the end of it, still keeping the higher ground.

The Captain speaks, and everyone listens attentively, even if they can’t understand him. His voice is husky, low, and firm. He didn’t leave room for questioning.

The droids nod and turn to their human counterparts. “The Captain informed us that the humans chosen here are to retire to their ship with them for a limited time of-”

“They want us to what-?!”

“Quiet. Proceed, Eve.”

The droid nods, “There are nine of them and nine of you. This would be akin to an exchange program but on the ship. They wish to learn more about us, but on their terms, sir.”

“I see…” The man sighs, rubbing his face as the other one groans, “Would they accept any negotiations on these terms?”

“Negative. Each human will be assigned a partner they are to stay with night and day. Partnerships are non-negotiable." Eve says.

Adam nods, "The Captain already chose the pairs.”

“So, we are to accept these terms?” The other man hissed. “Affirmative.” Said Adam. “The group is to part ways to the ship this instant.”

“But- what about clothes? Food? How are we to communicate with you guys or-, well, with them, at all?” One of the singers asks.

“Arrangements will be made throughout the day after you’ve retired to the ship,” Eve replies. “We are led to believe they don’t trust us with sending you inside with our equipment.”

“Well,” the first man sighs, “We don’t have much to do here.” he turns to the group again, “circumstances have changed, but the instructions haven’t. We have no room to negotiate your stay, but they are our guests as you are now also theirs.” he sighs harder. “Do not fuck up. Answer whatever questions they ask, and do not cause trouble. We’ll try to soften these terms and get to you faster, but until then, do not squirm in their grasp.” His tone is of warning, his eyes narrow and authoritative. He turns back to the droids, “tell the Captain we’re ready.”

The droids communicate their message, and the Captain nods, stepping down further and stopping a step or two before the ground. He opens his mouth, and the whole world seems to freeze again.

The droids nod and turn back to the group. “The Drum Player will be their navigator’s pair,” Eve says. The man nods shakily and steps forward, staring up at the aliens on the ramp. “But- which of them-?”

The Captain utters a word, and one of the engineers steps down the ramp to his side, shorter than the Captain by half a head. The navigator looks at the man and nods so briefly he wouldn’t have caught it if he wasn’t paying attention. “Go.” the man beside him hisses.

He gulps and starts walking past the droids, taking a deep breath at the foot of the ramp before taking his first step up. He walks up to the navigator and nods. The navigator nods to his Captain and begins walking up the ramp again, his human following in tow. They don’t stop near the others, walking up the ramp completely.

“Next up, the Violinist will be paired with their Weapons Specialist.” Says Adam. The girl trembles as she walks up and waits. The Captain calls, and the bulkiest engineer out of the bunch steps down the ramp, staring at her impassively. The girl whimpers, and it takes Adam’s gentle ushering to get her to move up the ramp.

“Who do you think will be paired with the Captain?”Whispers roam around the remaining group as the Captain announces more pairs.“The Flutist and the Kabuki Dancer will be paired with their Pilot and Engineer, respectively.”They step forward as the Captain calls his crew members to get them.

Four down. Five to go.

“The Singer and Street Dancer will be paired with their Biologist and Medic, respectively.”

“Do you think he’ll save himself for last?” asked the Belly Dancer; the Ballet dancer shrugs slightly.“The Belly Dancer will be paired with their Communication Officer.”“Guess that answers your question.” He says as she nods and walks up the ramp to meet her alien.

Leaving only the Captain and the Chief Officer still standing on the ramp.

The Captain utters the last two pairs, and Eve nods.“Last but not least, the Captain’s pair will be the Pottery Artist, leaving the Chief Officer with the Ballet Dancer.”The Ballet Dancer nods and walks up the ramp with his pair.

Leaving you to stare up at the Captain on the ramp.

#👀#Headcanon #engineers #alien engineer #engineer x reader #reader #alien vs predator #Alien #Aliens #Aliens vs predator #prometheus #alien covenant #alien courtship #afab reader #malakak #space jockey #alien relationship

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writertothemaximum · 3 years ago

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is it alright if you can make a male reader version of the high!rinne amagi x reader fic? only when you’re ready to write the full thing, of course :]

Note: This pretty much the same as the Rinne/Reader fic posted a while ago, just now with male pronouns, and male uh, parts. A lot of stuff has been reworded, but I hope it does the trick! Thanks for reading!

Rinne Amagi x Male Reader

Summary: You mostly just expected to pick your friend up from a club, the last thing you thought was to get hit on by some wasted guy. Although, he certainly looked familiar…

Word Count: 2k

Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24045316/chapters/59423728

Warnings are under the cut for containing nsfw/18+ content

Warnings: nsfw/smut (18+), sex under the influence of drugs, bisexual Rinne, sub!Rinne, slut!Rinne, male!reader, fellatio, choking, anal fingering, non-sexual pissing, excessive amounts of cursing

The first thing that hit you when you entered the club was how dark it was. How through all the flashing lights, you couldn’t see a thing. How the wall of heavy bass rang noiselessly back and forth into your head, bouncing to the beat of its own drum. The shaking of the wall of people undulating like a wave, bouncing endlessly like the ocean.

It was 11:30 p.m. already and your friend called you, waking you up, to drive her home. At least it wasn’t 3:00 a.m. like last time. This is why you told her to stop going to raves all the time. It was rotting her brain.

You had waited outside for twenty minutes already, but a part of you felt overwhelmed by everything in front of you. How everything was so dark until the lights flashed, how everything was so quiet because you couldn’t hear anything but bass, drums, and bass. There was an electrifying energy to it all and you felt it sap away at you like a leech.

Sticking your hands out to feel around you, you noticed that there were clear paths around the main crowd. Maybe if you could go around you might have a chance at finding her. You hoped she wasn’t off puking in a bathroom stall. Well, it might not be so bad, at least that way it wouldn’t be in your car.

There was a gray-haired boy shouting on stage. He had a very long tongue. He looked a lot like the dude from that idol group, Crazy B. You wondered if people like that really went to clubs like this. You wondered if a part of it was outing all the stress they went through, how difficult it would be to explain where they went, explain where the pictures came from. Although, you supposed, people like that might just not care.

You felt a hand against your shoulder and you turned around.

A six-foot-tall black shadow loomed over you.

“God, your skin is so soft,” you heard him saying.

Was he talking to you? It looked like he was shouting, but you couldn’t really tell. You couldn’t really hear anything, it was so impersonal.

The man started to attach his body to you, getting very close into your personal space. A part of you was worried that he was going to grind against you, although there was a lot worse and he didn’t seem to be particularly harmful, if not a little touchy. His skin was absolutely burning, frying as it touched your skin. Did he have a fever?

You pulled away, worried that there was something wrong with him, but he just got closer again.

The lights flashed on him.

Redhead, huh.

“Look, buddy, I got to find my friend, could you get off me,” you shouted, worried that trying to talk to him would make your throat scratchy.

The bass dropped and he leaned down in, to get close to you.

“I think I’m in love,” he said, screaming into the void. “You know I’m usually not into butch girls, you got such a nasty expression. I’d tap that.”

What the fuck was he going on about? Was he shitfaced? He didn’t smell like alcohol. Normally your instincts would have you get the fuck away from someone like this, but he seemed cute and you were a little bit pent up. Anyways, with him all trashed like that, it would be difficult for him to fight back. Sighing, realizing that this was now your problem, you dragged him into the room closest to your right.

Turns out it was the bathroom.

A sense of relief hit you as soon as you realized how much better it felt to be under constant light and less noise. The music was still pumping blood into your head, you smashed him into the wall, pinning him down.

You finally got a good chance to look at his face. There were beads of sweat pouring down his headband.

This was Rinne Amagi, there was no doubt about it. Clinging to you. High off his ass.

It was a little difficult to not want to take advantage of this situation.

“What the fuck are you on?” you asked, dryly.

“Mo~lly~” he said, singing out each syllable, completely ignoring the music blasting in the distance.

Ah, well that explained it. You hoped your friend chose a clean strain this time.

You grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into one of the stalls, chucking him onto the ground, just short of the toilet seat. You wondered how gross that ground was, you wondered how many people had vomited on it, how many people shot up in here. You hated it here, your friend would have to hire a ride next time.

Rinne leaned forward, grabbing awkwardly at your chest, like he was trying to grope you. Your chest wasn’t particularly sensitive. It’s not like you had tits or anything. You’d never had another guy do that to you.

“Huh?” Rinne asked, furrowing his brow. “Your tits are kinda flat, Jesus christ.”

You frowned at him.

“You know I’m a dude, right?” you asked, somewhat deadpanned.

Rinne blinked incredibly slowly, letting all the blood rush back into his head. Frustrated and high on energy, his hand shot up and ruffled through his hair, scratching at his scalp. He took a deep breath.

“I kinda thought you were masc for a girl. Fuck, guess I’m gay now,” he said, ending with a sigh. “Wouldn’t be the first time, actually.”

Smirking, Rinne sank to the floor, mouthing at the front of your jeans, playing with the zipper.

“So, uh,” he said, his eyes lolling forward. “You wanna get sucked, sir?”

Sighing, you pulled down your pants and underwear, grabbed his head, and stuck your dick, still somewhat flaccid, into his mouth.

As Rinne was too surprised to respond, you decided to push into his lips. At least the warmth felt good around your shaft. He was supporting your body weight, at least. He wasn’t pushing you off.

“Come on asshole, didn’t you say you wanted to suck me off?” you asked, your tone harsh, your length beginning to harden in his lips.

That’s when you felt the tongue and everything started feeling better. He started by sucking his cheeks inwards, creating a nice seal around your dick. Sloppy and wet, Rinne began to move. Putting one shoe against the toilet rim, you straddled his face, adjusting so that you could shove your dick further down his throat. You heard slight choking sounds, the man clearly not used to this.

Not getting enough friction, you grabbed the back of his head and pushed it against you, his whole face smothered by your crotch, his nose resting pleasantly in your pubes. You felt his breath heave, struggling for air. You slammed your hips into his mouth, cutting off any circulation, cutting off any hope of him being able to breathe.

It felt so good to have him choke against you. That look in his eyes. Piercing blue, piercing through you as he was deep-throating you, struggling, in pain. It felt like minutes that you had him there, sucking against you endlessly, gagging, choking.

You felt it all rise at once and you came down his throat. You grabbed his hair and pulled him off of you, his face smeared with thick fluid and a wide grin, cum seeping from his lips.

“Damn! That wasn’t so bad!” Rinne shouted, laughing, slapping his leg. “Where else do I find men like you?”

He was still kneeling on the ground. He was really hard. A part of you wondered if it was a blow-and-go sort of deal or if Rinne expected more. Well, it wouldn’t be too difficult to take care of him when he was like this.

“Up your ass,” you said, answering his question sarcastically. “Now get on the seat and turn around.”

He grabbed your hand, his own still burning, blistering with heat. He licked it, your jizz still smeared across his face.

“How is your skin so tingly? It’s so cold, like an ice-cube. I want to keep touching you…”

You grabbed his shoulders and twisted him around, having him lean over the metal flusher. It wasn’t your first time by any means, but it was certainly your first with someone this trashed. You wondered if he’d even be able to keep his dick up or if the drugs even affected that. You fumbled with the jacket around his waist, his belt, and his zipper before finally pulling his pants down. You figured that you weren’t the first person to be frustrated at how much shit he had on.

It was quite the sight when you got a good look at his ass. It was definitely as toned as you had expected, but a little fattier than it looked on the outside. You put your hand around it and gave it a squeeze, not having much give. He had a nice ass. It made sense why it was so easy for him to slut around like this.

“You got lube?” you asked. “I’m gonna finger you, okay?”

“Jacket pocket,” he responded, barely hesitating.

Of course he had lube in his jacket pocket. You fished it out, avoiding the bags of pills. The bottle was almost empty, too. Lube crusted onto the side, it looked like he never bothered to even close the lid. Squeezing hard, some spat out onto your hand.

He seemed relaxed enough, so you started with one finger. You weren’t sure how often he had taken it up the ass.

“Haaanghn~”

The sound he made was rather lovely. Well, at least it seemed like he liked it.

“God, your dick feels so good~” he moaned into the room.

It was a single finger. You just came. What human would be able to get it up again that quickly?

Sighing, you inserted another finger. His insides were so loose. Clearly, he was comfortable enough to do something like this, clearly, he could have taken more if you were more prepared. He squeezed around you, as if he was caressing a dick, making sure that you felt good, making sure that his ass got as much friction as he possibly could around you. Everything felt like it was on fire, burning, melting, scorched around your fingers, overheating, overwhelmed by warm emotions.

When you pulled your fingers out a bit, you could hear him whine.

You slapped his ass, hard, and he half about choked up a lung. It was a good sound. He was making a lot of good sounds. A lot better than the washed away, thumping bass in the distance. It almost didn’t bother you anymore. If anything, it was a good beat to move your fingers in and out at.

You reached around to grab his dick, burning just like how the rest of his body was. How out of it was. How distracted he was getting. He was starting to bang his head to the music. You were worried he was going to smash it against the metal flushing valve.

Like a noodle in boiling water, you felt him start to go limp in your hand. Rinne still moaned, his ass still clenching around you. He groaned and warm liquid traced down your hand. You didn’t even wait till the smell hit you to shove him off.

His whole body slumped over the toilet, his hips pointed straight down at dinghy tap water. You could hear the stream of liquid pour out as he pissed himself.

You pinched your nose so you didn’t have to smell it.

“Yeah, that’s it, I think you’re done for tonight,” you said, wiping your hand on your pants.

“Aw, fuck,” he groaned out, his voice as sloppy as his body.

Reaching into your pocket, you took out an old receipt and wrote your number on it, letting it float down and land peacefully on his back. Sighing, you slammed the stall door behind you, groaning about the fact that you still had to find your friend.

#ensemble stars #enstars x reader #enstars #rinne amagi #rinne amagi x reader #male reader #dom!reader #w2tmfics

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nevereverlandboys · 3 years ago

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Drunken in charge

A/N: So I already posted this on wattpad a while ago. I was busy with learning for my exam, but now I finally managed to edit everything so I can post it on tumblr for those who don't read in wattpad

If you want to get tagged for my oneshots DM me ❤

Pairing: Ouat Felix x Reader

Warnings: Smut, NSFW, fingering, oral, unprotected sex, consuming of alcohol, swearing, really unrealistic sex scene lol, unprotected sex

Summary: Felix is being left in charge for the camp while Pan is absent, so games are off along with every other game. What is there else to do than drink? The second in command uses this opportunity to finally get closer to the reader after being so distant for a long time.

word count: 9968

The Island was harsh and cruel to everyone in an unfair but equal way. Even though the lost boys lived free on Neverland, they still were ruled by the mischievous leader named Peter Pan. Each of them had their own suffering they would not mention to anyone, rather feel the pain alone and the loneliness followed them with every step. But if someone caught Y/N's eye the most, it was the quiet second in command, Felix. He always stayed close to his leader and would always follow his command. His cold facade never told her a single thought, making him special in his own way. He would leave the girl alone and only joined her on missions, but even then, the second in command would remain quiet. Pan on the other hand, tormented Y/N with thousands of useless tasks, while the lost boys worked on their own duties that seemed to make way more fun. No matter how hard she tried, Y/N would never fit in the group of lost boys, their name alone excluded her. None of them treated her fair, always left her out and acted like she was their servant. At first, the boys all seemed curious, and also a little intrigued about her appearance. They wondered why the shadow brought a girl to Neverland and if she would stay forever or just for a while. Their vicious behavior scared her off the first days, keeping her distance in a small tent. There was nothing special about Y/N, and she wondered why Pan brought her here from the beginning. Soon they boys learned that as well, treating her harshly like everybody else. They mocked her for being too weak, being too emotional,- they mocked her for not being a boy. After a while Y/N stopped asking questions and simply agreed to her new life. There were many good things to mention, nothing here was all bad. No one cared about her exploring the island during the day, at least if she did not go too far. If she wanted to cook for herself, there was no one in the way, and if she wanted to read in her tent, they would not enter- also because she was definitely sure Pan forbat it. The lost boy's feared and loved their leader at the same time, the way he let them live the free life they always wanted and not even seeing how dangerous it could be had convinced them. Y/N had distanced herself from them and their cruelty, rarely appeared to any big occasion and rather traveled along the river that ran it's way through the meadow and pastures. It was a surprise when one boy asked her one day to join a game, leaving her startled and unable to answer since no one ever really attempted to talk to the girl. It woke a piece of hope inside her, some of the younger boys already liked Y/N, yet, there was always something suspicious around the older ones.

"C'mon!" The thin boy yelled excitedly and waved his hands through the air, gesturing to follow him.

"This will be fun!"

Y/N avoided the demanding boy and tilted her head while her eyes wandered through the group before they stopped at the second in command, his eyes already burning on her skin when she detected him on his log, not far. His gaze made her nervous, uncomfortable and she questioned the decision to join the game. Something inside her shook the thought off, that Felix would approach her one day for some other reason than Pan made him, or that he would ask her to join a game.

"No…" Y/N answered nervously and looked back to the lost boy, trying to ignore Felix in the back. She did not trust that boy the slightest.

"I have to clean the kitchen." She lied and dropped her gaze to the ground. The boy left as quickly as he came, not even trying to convince her further as if the interest was faked like everything else on this Island. After a while she sat alone in silence, watching the smaller boys play with sticks and some older ones preparing some meat and stickbread for the bonfire. The feeling of being watched did not let go. Y/N tried her best not to look suspicious and quickly let her eyes wander further when she found the guilty boy, Felix.

Why is he still staring at me?

She never found out. The boy stayed exactly where he was and so did Y/N. He would constantly steal a glimpse and for a moment goosebumps spread all over her body, as butterflies rumbled in her stomach. A few days went on and she had catched the second in command staring at her over and over again. Whenever she looked at him, he quickly shifted his eyes somewhere in hope not to be catched. Sitting at the dining table she would catch him, when she did the laundry or cooked in the humble kitchen. The lost boy woke some curiosity inside the girl, the urgent need to know why he would always steal a glimpse, whenever she walked by. He never slipped a nasty comment, definitely strange compared to the other lost boys and their vivid temper. He never approached her or tried to keep up a conversation either. As soon as the sun went down, Pan appeared in front of Y/N's tent, calling her to come out and get some firewood. His second in command stood not far, leaning against the bark of a tree and chewing on a toothpick. He didn't need to wait for his leader's command, already knowing he had to join her.

"Be quick." Pan ordered sternly, pressing his brows together before strutting back to the other boys. Her eyes instantly shifted over to the lanky, blonde boy, a smirk plastered on his pale face. If Pan knew that this was not a good idea? Felix turned on his heels and led the way through the trees uphill where the bushes covered the edges down to the abyss, not looking back once.

"C'mon, girlie." He said.

'Don't call me that!' She snapped back and paced up. The lost boy's camp disappeared on the ground, the higher Y/N followed the path before Felix stopped in front of a dark forest, the leaves swallowing every light before it could touch the ground.

"Princess." Felix corrected cockily, watching her step between the trees. She started to blush and was unable to say something, so she decided to simply ignore the giant boy's nickname for her, no matter how flattering his words seemed. She tried to act tough, tougher than she actually was, in hope he would recognise it.

"How in the hell should we get wood in the dark?' Y/N mumbled as she stared into the pitch black.

"Are you scared?" Felix teased and gave her a smirk. His voice was deep and rough, unsettling but still going like honey through her ears. The girl scoffed at him and rolled her eyes, then led the way with firm steps, not even seeing the ground and suddenly tripping over into a mess of wood.

"Fuck!" She hissed and held her hands to check the unbruised skin. The lost boy started to laugh darkly to himself, before he stepped closer.

"This wood is full of chunks." Felix explained and bent down to pick up the wood. Y/N rose to her feet and grabbed some wood, not saying another word. Felix remained silent as well, heading with heavy back to the camp. After a while he stopped and turned, watched if she could catch up and continued when the girl was close enough. All the time she wanted to talk to him, using the moment all alone with him, but as she hurried to follow the second in command, no single idea for a conversation came to her mind. It was like someone wiped every thought away and replaced it with the heavy drumming of her heartbeat. As soon as she reached the clearing, Felix dropped the wood onto the ground and left them for the other boys to take care of it. Her chunks landed right next to his and she paced up to catch up with the gloomy second in command, when a tight grip on the girl's wrist stopped her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Y/N tilted her head and faced Dave, a tall chubby boy with messy brown hair, his eyes dark and soft like marbles. The lost boy looked like a bear, warm and welcoming, nevertheless it were his words that often scared her off. He only had nasty comments for Y/N, threats and if Pan wouldn't protect her for being a weak girl, the lost boy would probably harm her physically as well.

"The potatoes won't cook themselves!" Dave barked and pushed her harshly away before his eyes wandered over to the kitchen tent. Y/N bit her tongue to stop slipping a nasty comment, marched over to the humble kitchen and let out a growl when she saw the mess inside.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She whined as her eyes wandered over the dirty pots and Pan's, knives and forks along with every spoon. At least it was not stinking and disgusting, easy to wash, yet an avoidable effort if every boy would clean after themselves. But why should they? They had Y/N. Deciding to only clean the essential goods and shoving the other things aside, she opened a little basket with potatoes in it and placed them on the little counter. Like she expected, no one came to help her during the cooking, only one boy showed up to ask if she could hurry up. The same boy did not even thank her when she finally gave them the cooked potatoes half an hour later. The selfish behaviour of these boys was the thing Y/N hated most, more reason to focus on the second in command, the only boy who had never shown her this nasty attitude. While every other boy slowly gathered around the bonfire after they ate, Felix stayed where he was. He did not dance like the others and Y/N was not even sure if he could hear what the boys claimed to hear. Pan once said, his flute was special and the girl was supposed to hear her too. None of them had an explanation, still, it did not seem like the first time for Pan, seeing something like this.

The girl's eyes darted back to Felix, his eyes already burning on her skin and she instantly moved her head to make it look less obvious. The tempting idea of walking over to him burned inside her guts, but with all those boys around, she was like being frozen in place. The second in command never talked to her when it was not necessary, not even one muscle in his face twitched when he interacted with the others. Still, something inside Y/N pulled her towards him from the beginning, as if his attempt to block her out was even more tempting. When she distanced herself from the bonfire back to her tent, Felix stayed at his seat instead of following her like she had imagined he would do. A little disappointed she went to bed and kept twirling all her thoughts around the mysterious second in command. There were so many questions about him. No one ever understood Felix, maybe not even Pan, although they were closer to each other than no one else on this whole Island.

The following days Pan left Felix in charge, going on a mission by himself. The absence of Neverland's leader made itself noticeable first, when the lost boys stopped playing their big games and went directly to their duties, almost no words slipping from their usually loud mouths as they worked in silence. The day had started boring for everyone on it, Pan was already away for a few days, so Felix was fully in charge. Games were off, along with parties and especially dances in the evening. If Y/N could tell, the dances were the most annoying thing to the second in command, the thing he hated the most. Felix did not like the idea of taking care of anybody else but himself. So it came that even after weeks, Y/N had barely exchanged some words with him. He would simply avoid her and in case of sharing a task, just stare at her in curiosity. It was a lie to say he did not make her nervous, even when it was not in a scary way. The second in command was weird in any way and whenever he built himself up in front of her, she and broad, he made her look even shorter than she actually was. A feeling almost pleasant instead of scary. It was like something pulled her towards the cold lost boy, but the lack of courage would not let her talk to him. If he felt the same?

Felix was intimidating to look at, it was like something was wrong with his face but Y/N could never tell what. His high pitched cheeks were sharp and narrow and there was an awful scar running along his left cheek up to his brows like an 'x'. The most creepy things were his eyes though, whenever she looked into them, she was willingly drowning in a cold puddle that dragged her deeper in. They pierced her, as if he knew every secret inside the girl's head. Nevertheless, he was not ugly, rather pretty to look at. When his blonde hair hung messy over his face and the way he smelled. Whenever she walked past him, she would smell pinewood and musk. Even though he was well known for his cruelty, the lost boy never raised his hand against Y/N, nor called her nasty things like the others did. She was not even sure on how to do it anyways. Felix always looked busy or like he did not want anyone to speak to him. When she thought of it, the girl could not remember one single boy really talking to the second in command except Pan, but then again,- they only talked about plans and other secrets. He was a mystery of his own, a riddle for Y/N to solve. She glanced over to him and saw that he was carving something into a piece of wood. The lanky lost boy had distanced himself from the other boys, having his seat on a log as closest to the forest as possible. Maybe she could strike a conversation about his passion for carving? He was doing that almost everyday without talking about it and when she thought about it, she had never seen the final results. After a while, courage overcame her, so she stood up and walked slowly into Felix's direction, already noticing in the corner of her eyes the disapproving and concerned looks of some boys. They started to talk quietly to each other and she instantly knew it was about her. Their eyes burned more on Y/N's skin with each step further towards Felix, making her feel nervous and jumpy. Rolling with her eyes at them, she still marched to the lanky blonde boy, stopping when she was close enough to him. The heads of the lost boys instantly shot away, as if they felt too scared to let Felix know about their curiosity when he lifted his heavy head from his broad shoulders.

Felix's eyes darted up, his mouth shut tight and his facial expression went blank like always. His look told Y/N that he was strong, but never how he felt. She tried to say something, but the words got stuck in her throat. Unable to speak, she stared with a deadpan face back at the second in command, trying to find an excuse for her behaviour. The idea with the wood seemed so dumb suddenly and she wished she could just melt into the ground or simply disappear as the lost boy stared back at her, locking their eyes and waiting for her to say something.

"Have you seen Pan?" Y/N choked out and sounded calmer than she expected to be. The blonde boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously and nodded behind him into the dark forest. Big trees hovered high up into the sky, all around the clearing, hiding every view. It was pitch black. Y/N swallowed at the sight of the dark woods and she shook her head slowly, feeling so scared of the unknown dangers. There was no reason for her to see Pan, the leader was not a pleasant person himself and the lie only made her more anxious.

"I think it wasn't important anyways." She mumbled unsure and turned around, feeling how her whole face heatened up at the fact that she talked to the mysterious second in command. Suddenly, the tall boy grabbed her by the wrist, causing her to turn and face him again.

"I'll bring you to him, if you feel scared to go alone." He said dry and rose to his feet, tall and intimidating. The girl was so small next to him, peeking up to him again as her limbs lightly started to tremble. Felix glanced down at her and again, she shook her head slowly. The girl did not know if he simply did not notice it, but when the lost boy shoved her into the pitch black, terror overcame her. What was he doing? Not daring to say a word, before the light around her vanished, she only felt the lost boy's hand on her back as he pushed her gently forwards. Her heart was pounding so hard, she feared he might feel it. Where the hell would he bring her? Where was Pan all the time?

"Don't." Y/N winced and turned on her heels, running past Felix back into the camp. The lost boy instantly jumped around and stormed after her, chasing her across the clearing towards some big trees. She tripped over one of their big roots, almost crashing down but still finding her balance. This was the moment Felix jumped at the girl, crashing down with her, his heavy weight pressing the air out of her lungs. The lost boy spun her around and pinned her arms down on the floor before she could take a sharp inhale. Y/N tried to free herself in panic, but she could not move at all, when the slender boy straddled her and held her down. The colours in Y/N's face faded away and her heart pumped wild inside her as if it were about to explode, unable to tell if she felt excited or scared. Maybe a healthy mix of both. She was sure he did not want to hurt her. Frankly, he never did.

"Why in the hell are you running from me." He asked angry, slightly confused and she thought even a bit hurt as he pressed his brows strictly together.

"Don’t hurt me." She muttered and the pale boy frowned. He loosened his grip and swiftly rose to his feet and pulled his hood back over his head, then strutted quickly away, not even giving her a last glance.

That was strange, she thought. Her heart was still beating furiously. What happened? The lost boy scared her and made her feel like burning at the same time. She took a deep breath and raised to her feet, wiping the dirt off her clothes. Felix was a strange guy and he only confused Y/N. Why did he just stand up and leave? She was not dumb and clearly could add two and two together. But it could not be that the second in command had some interest in her, why should he? The boy barely spoke to the girl, even when they had chores together. Y/N remembered one of the first days, when Pan sent them both to get some dreamshade and the tall blonde did not even let her near one of those plants, not even mentioning why. When he held the filled glasses, the boy walked a big distance between her back to camp, giving her the feeling of not being wanted. Later she had learned the dangers of it and Felix's strange behaviour now. It was an easy addition but she needed to be sure, not even knowing how to deal with this information.

If I am right.

The next day Felix clearly avoided her. Whenever he felt like she was too close, the lost boy would quickly find another place to go. She did not want to ask any of the boys about it, not wanting them to know, but it was obviously something off. They would not answer her anyways, only giving her questioning looks. After that weird situation in the evening before, the second in command completely vanished. There was no big effort to look for him and when the girl went to bed, she completely forgot about him. He had not given her any duties yet, so she took her chance and left the camp to take a shower and later gather some fruits and seeds, everything edible the Island would offer her without having to kill. She did not know how to hunt and was not sure if she could even catch an animal. Peter once told her that his best man would teach her to hunt, but Felix always seemed to be so busy that she simply never asked him to. At first she had avoided the blonde, lanky boy, not knowing his temper. He had scared her so much but now she could not stop thinking of how he had straddled her and how much she liked it. This was stupid. She barely knew Felix and still Y/N pictured herself with him in so many daydreams now. It was always easier to dream about someone and she was not crazy enough to consider anything about the rough boy. But where would he be? What is he doing right now? God, she needed to stop thinking about Felix. She was overthinking.

The time passed by and Y/N found herself at the clearing again, watching two boys fight in the distance, with a small crowd around to cheer their violence. Her eyes wandered over the whole area, searching for the second in command. He sat far away next to a few older lost boys that hollered around while drinking some rum. Since Felix would not let them do anything, the only possible solution for the boys was to drink and do stupid things that would not bother the tall scarred one. They were drinking more alcohol than any adult could ever handle. The girl's eyes shifted over the group, seeing how they stumbled and swayed around. Felix sat on a log with his own bottle of rum in his hands, he kept his distance from the other boys, observing them with a blank expression but it was visible that he was drunk, too. When he saw Y/N entering the camp, the second in command's head spun around, meeting her gaze and she could swear his face lightened up.

"Y/N!" Someone big yelled excitedly and jumped at her from the side, almost swaying her off her feet before she could even think of the name "Felix".

"Drink with us!" The chubby boy cheered with a dizzy voice. His dark, bushy eyebrows hung deep over his small eyes and he wrinkled his nose, making a nasty, slimy sound, reminding her of a mull. He was not pretty to look at, mean and vicious, sometimes insulting for no reason. He was that kind of a boy who would mock one and still complain when they did not want to be his friend.

"No, tha-"

"DRINK!" The chubby boy repeated himself more aggressively and grabbed Y/N's wrist to stop her from leaving before she could even try getting away. His fat fingers would definitely leave a mark later as she furiously tried to yank herself free.

"YOU ARE HURTING ME!" Y/N whined and buried her nails into his wrist, but the lost boy would not let go.

"It will be fun! Don't be such a lame ass." He gave back and tightened his grip. Felix, who had watched the whole scene from a distance, immediately jumped to his feet and stormed towards them, yanking the boy away and threw him violently into the mud. He gave him the most powerful kick that his anger would provoke, that the sound of the fat lost boy's scream caught everyone's attention.

"I will snap your fucking neck!" Felix threatened so calmly that the other boys would not even hear it as he pressed his jaw together, his hands forming into fists that his knuckles turned white. The chubby moonface groaned dizzy and turned onto his stomach, trying to lift himself drunkenly out of the sludge. With a closer look, Y/N understood why they all called him Piggy, instead of Mull. He turned his head confused around before he would drop back onto the ground again. The girl's eyes widened at the sight of this cruelty, even though she felt relieved and maybe a little entertained to see Piggy like this. He truly deserved it. On the other hand, she wondered why Felix came so quickly to help after he had tried his best to get out of her way. Y/N's cheeks burned up and she knew it would be the perfect moment to talk to him.

"Go." Felix said. He turned to her and shoved her gently away from the boys towards the tents. His big hand warmed her comfortably on her back, waking the butterflies in her stomach and causing her to shiver. The second in command rested one one of his arms on the girl's shoulder to keep his balance as he swayed between the tall bushes forwards between the trees.

"You should go to sleep." The lost boy said huskily, stopping in front of her tent, his grey eyes staring at the closed curtains. The excitement inside Y/N turned into disappointment when she saw where this actually went, so she stared irritated at the tent as Felix pulled his arm away and stepped away, slowly heading back.

"I am not tired!" Y/N gave back and knitted her brows together, confused why he just left her now. He could have stayed at the camp instead of joining her in the first place. Why come all this way up here? Felix's head spun around before turning back to stop right in front of the girl. He bent down to face her and made it possible to smell the alcohol in his breath as she stared into his gray eyes illuminated by the pale moonlight. The messy, ashen hair hung half over his face,- Y/N liked so many things about him and right now he was so perfect. He has never been that close before, except when he had tackled her.

"The boys aren't so well behaved," The second in command snickered. "Especially not in that state."

Y/N giggled when she thought of Felix acting like he was a good boy, after all those terrible things he did. There was a reason why he was second in command of this brutal gang and he proved it by the way he treated Piggy.

"And you're not?" She gave back quite bravely, raising an eyebrow cockily. Felix chuckled low to himself, slightly shaking his head before he gave her a smirk, showing his white palette of perfectly lined up teeth.

"If you want me to," Felix purred and wiggled with his brows. "I'll be whatever you want."

The girl felt goosebumps spread all over her body at his words and for a moment, she just stared speechless back at him, unable to say a word and wanting nothing more than kissing those pink lips. Felix was drunk, he could not think straight and definitely did not mean what he said. The lost boy's breath tickled hers and she noticed how close he was and how she just had to lean in, to steal a kiss. There was no way she would risk it, well aware that Pan loved games and she could not let the thought go, his best man would love them as well.

"Do you have any suggestions?" She asked as her nose touched his, her lips almost on his as she gently ran her hands over his chest. Felix ignored the question, moving instinctively and rough, grabbing Y/N's neck and pulling her in to close the distance between their mouths. His tongue was warm and tasted like liquor, still it did not bother her at all, when he vividly explored the inside of her mouth. Felix's hands vanished under her hair, grabbing her head and pressing the girl firmer against him while his intoxicated mind led his actions. Y/N gasped surprised into the kiss, not expecting him to do this even though it was what she wished for. Felix was way taller than her and for the moment he was forced to bend down at her height, holding her in his broad arms that pressed her tightly against his chest. When Felix’s pulled away, his eyes were still shut and he ran his thumb over Y/N's lips, licking his own and let out a gasp when he realised that he did not only imagined to do that. Then his eyes widened and she could see that he realised for the first time what just happened, what he just did.

"Sorry…" Felix mumbled unbelievingly and shook his head with widened eyes. He pushed her harshly away and rose to his feet, quickly checking full terror if someone had watched it.

"I was-" Felix spoke hoarse and slowly took a step back, then another one, a few more, until he turned on his heels and sprinted quickly away, not finishing what he tried to say.

Y/N stood there for a moment as if she were stuck in place, not able to process what just happened. With a swift movement she stormed through the curtains of her tent towards her bed to hide under the covers. She grabbed a pillow, held it against her face and screamed inside it. It was hard to tell if she felt excited or embarrassed. Felix kissed her, so why should she be worried about something? Maybe it was a test and she failed? Hell no, that would be some serious bullshit if that were the first explanation and she had seen his reaction. The way he held her and how he tasted heatened her up. Every cell inside her body craved for more.

No, what are you doing, she thought and shook her head, replaying that scenario in her head over and over again like a broken record. With a swift move she rolled onto her back and stared up at the curtain ceiling, hoping to find an answer to what her next step could be. If the lost boys would find out, they would never stop talking about it, maybe even start to think she was easy to have. Y/N gulped and squinted her eyes at the thought of them all trying to hit on her. Felix was different though. He was tall and intimidating, his cold stare would pierce through her with a burning desire and his smell intoxicated her mind. Whenever he was around, she could barely think straight, desperately wanting to figure out what laid beneath that cold facade. Never in a thousand years, she could have guessed that he liked her back. On the other hand, he was not able to make proper decisions drunkenly and maybe Y/N was encouraging herself too much. There was almost nothing she knew about the tall boy and falling for him that fast could only harm herself in the end.

Y/N closed her eyes and brought her fingers to her lips, touching them, while imaging to feel Felix's on them again and remember what they tasted like. The second in command barely spoke to her and now that? There was definitely more behind it. It had to. Her other hand slowly wandered over her stomach to pull up the dress, slipping a finger inside to play with herself. It was not the first time she thought of him while touching herself, but this time something was off. Deep inside her something stopped Y/N, no matter how aroused she already was. She needed to talk to Felix. Under no circumstances she would let him ignore her for days again. Yanking the blanket away, Y/N jumped out of the bed and eagerly left the tent, turning her head furiously around to find the tall boy. He did not sit next to the others anymore and when she walked downhill to his cabin, she could feel her heart pumping furiously inside her chest. The girl stopped in front of the wooden door to knock and when no one answered she knocked again.

"Felix!" She tried to be as loud as she could be while still not attracting someone else's attention. There was still no answer and she felt dumb for even thinking it was as easy as this to find him after the previous events. He could not be far, the lost boys still needed someone who had an eye on them before someone could get hurt. Their hollering was still audible and the bonfire in the distance let Y/N see a few of them behind the bushes. For a moment she thought of going back to the clearing again, hoping to find Felix there, but the thought of meeting Piggy alone now was no good.

"Y/N." The girl suddenly heard Felix’s raspy voice behind her and she turned dazzled around, the warmest smile sitting on her lips.

Felix swayed dizzily into her direction, closing the gap between them two while he tried to keep his balance. The lost boy's head was too high up, making it impossible to steal a kiss from him now.

"What are you doing here? I told you to sleep." He asked nervously and pulled her away from his cabin towards the trees, his head constantly turning to look if someone watched. When he placed his hand on the girl's back again, his touch sent electric waves through her spine and she wondered how his slender finger would feel on her bare skin.

"Did you drink more?" She asked, noticing how he swayed more and the second in command vividly shook his head in response, grinning like a small boy on a sunny day.

"You have."

"No."

"Yes."

"Uh-Uh."

"I can cleanly tell-"

"I am-," Felix grabbed Y/N gently by the back of her neck and pulled her in, his face coming closer again. "-Not. Drunk."

She started to laugh and leaned into his grip, bringing her own hand up to touch his scar. Felix's blue eyes melted when he felt her fingers, closing them and relaxing as her touch traced as light as a feather down his skin. He relaxed for a moment and enjoyed the touch on his scarred skin, before he suddenly woke out of trance.

"The boys better not see us." He cleared his throat and broke apart, letting go of her.

"No one saw us, Felix." His name echoed through the dark forest like honey and Y/N grabbed his hand tight- she was way smaller than his. The girl felt Felix's breath in her face, how his nose almost touched hers and before he could do anything she had already closed the gap between them two, pressing her lips against his. Felix moaned surprised into her mouth but instantly grabbed her cheeks and slid his tongue inside. She could still taste the liquor and wondered if she might have taken advantage of this situation. The tall boy's moans told her otherwise. He moved his hands slowly towards the girl's waist down to her ass, cupping it rough while her smell intoxicated his senses.

"We shouldn't." He whispered and she heard him move even though it was too dark to see. Nevertheless Felix pressed himself harder against her and she felt through his pants how hard he already was from only kissing.

"Why not." She breathed against his neck, leaving a trail of kisses.

"The boys," Felix said, his eyes rolling back with a soft moan when he felt her tongue on his throat. It was enough to convince the second in command, his fingers wandered over her delicate body, burying them inside her tender flesh. It's been a long time since someone touched Y/N and she could not resist the lost boy's demanding hands. He lifted her dress and wandered with his palm over her skin to the rim of the underwear, enjoying the small moans when his fingers wandered further to her inner thigh, drawing invisible circles on it.

"Felix…" His grip tightened when he heard the girl purr his sweet name in the most delicious way and he almost could not hold himself back to tear her clothes off right at this place. The lost boy dared to slip one of his fingers inside Y/N's panties and when she did not complain, he pushed his slender index inside of her, feeling how her soft walls tightened around him. If Felix had not realised it earlier, he knew at least by now how much she craved him when he felt how wet she already was. Y/N let out a gasp when he started to push his long finger in and out of her, causing the girl's legs to tremble and her knees to shiver in excitement. She closed her eyes, giving up trying to see something in the dark as she melted into Felix's arms, her face sliding down onto his shoulder. She found her balance by grabbing the lost boy's leg and then she realised that he was kneeling in front of her. Y/N was actually glad that the surroundings were pitch black, feeling her cheeks heating up in embarrassment from her uncontrollable sweet moans. Before she would absolutely lose her mind, the girl managed to push the lost boy slightly away from her while her hands moved down to his belt. Her fingertips ran over the leather and the lost boy instantly frowned at her touch, his whole body stiffened and he stopped moving for a second.

"W-wait." He stammered, the adrenaline pushing the dizziness of the alcohol away. "I-I… never…" he continued and stopped, his hands wrapped around Y/N's wrist, insecurities overwhelming him as he held her in a safe distance. Now she really wished to see his face, well aware that he must look like earlier when he kissed her, startled and somehow shy.

"Well," she replied after a small pause, her voice echoing clear through the night, "Neither have I."

There was an awkward silence between them two and if the lost boy would not hold her by her hips, she would probably believe he was gone by now. The second in command was embarrassed for no reason, what did he fear? Y/N had no clue how to do this and if she was honest, it was way more appealing that Felix was a virgin, too, even though she did not expect that. All the time she thought he was so confident and now he was so vulnerable to her. The lost boy still did not speak, so she bent into another kiss, hoping to catch his lips in the dark. Felix gasped when he felt her lips on his scar and pulled the girl back in. This was good, they did not need to talk- should not talk. It would only make this weird. Talking would come naturally. Felix grabbed Y/N's hands gently and brought them back to his belt for her to continue what she had started. She let her fingers trail over the leather to his buckle to open it, enjoying the moment when she opened the button of his pants and slowly pulled down his zipper. The lost boy moaned inside her mouth when she slid her hand into his pants, pumping his hardened cock as best as the tight cotton would allow her to. Felix noticed her struggle and broke apart from the kiss to lift himself up and take off his clothes. Y/N heard how each piece of clothing dropped onto the ground while she waited to be told to do the same.

"Should I keep my dress on or-"

"Keep it on." Felix ordered and chuckled to himself, then pulled her back against him, his cock pressing against her stomach. The lost boy let his hands slide under the girl's dress and pulled down her panties for more access, then kneeled naked in front of her while his fingers did their magic. They felt so long and strange, making Y/N wonder if she could even handle Felix's cock. He already felt so big in her hand when she touched him again, fully exposed and hardened. The lost boy lifted one of her legs over his broad shoulder and before Y/N could even figure out what he was doing, Felix pressed his tongue against her clit. She let out a surprised gasp and giggled at the ticklish sensation. The lost boy felt how tense her leg was and reached for the girl's hand, holding it and drawing invisible circles on her palm.

"Relax." He lifted his head and lightly squeezed her fingers, caressing it a little, then pushed his mouth against her slit, his hot breath warming her as his tongue slid over her clit. The comfort of his touch relaxed Y/N instantly as if the lost boy had enchanted her somehow. He pressed his rough tongue harder against her, burying his face between her legs as he ate her out. The girl could not control herself to keep her from moaning, but led the boy's pace with it, whenever something felt good. He buried his nails into the tender flesh of her thighs and with a swift move he pushed the girl down onto the ground, pushing his fingers faster into her. She could not tell which was tongue or fingers, the overflowing sensation spread inside her body up to her eyes as she felt how she got closer to her orgasm. When Felix’s jaw started to ache he broke apart, breathing heavily and leaving Y/N craving for more on the cold ground in the exact moment she would almost finish. Without saying a word the lost boy pulled himself up to her, placing some sloppy kisses on her mouth before placing his arms next to her, so that his weight would not be too much.

"I want you so much." He panted while he slowly let his thumb circle over her aroused clit.

"Felix-" She pressed her lips onto his and stroked his hardened dick and pulled his torso closer to lead him to her wet entrance. The lost boy let out an uncontrollable moan as he pressed his dick against her dripping slit that already craved him so hard, slowly gliding in to make the girl feel every piece of his mighty cock. He stayed in this position for a moment to adjust this feeling and Y/N felt herself tighten around him, excitement overwhelming her body along with the smell of the lost boy intoxicating her mind.

"Fuck!" Felix hissed as he started to move in a steady motion. His lips caught her once more, pulling her into a long, passionate kiss. Y/N took a sharp breath and pushed her hand against his abdomen, when the lost boy moved, feeling like getting torn apart by him. The lost boy stopped for a moment, shoving one arm under her neck to hold her while his lips softly traced over her chest. After a short moment, Felix moved again. Y/N buried her nails into his skin and rolled her eyes back as the lost boy thrusted into her core, slowly feeling herself relaxing in this position after a few strokes. The pain faded away and she melted into Felix's body as if he was meant to hold her. The sweetest words kept unsaid, too embarrassing, too emotional, still, there was something inside them both that felt more than just enjoying sex. It was Felix who took her virginity and the thought of being the one who took his let her heart skip faster. The second in command felt like a dream,- his sweaty, hot skin pressed tight against hers, his abs flexed and hardened during every move and he was just so fucking tall. Felix moved both of his hands down and cupped her naked butt, lifting Y/N up and pressing her against the bark of a tree. He buried his fingers into her tender flesh and left a trail of kisses on her neck as far as he would reach her. The lost boy held Y/N as if she weighed nothing, pressing her body tightly against his skin. She could not resist sinking her teeth into his neck, sucking on the delicate spot until she was sure he would not leave without a mark. As soon as Felix realised what she was doing, he pulled her head back by her hair. To his own surprise, she let out a light moan, feeling even more excited from his big hand in them.

"The boys can't know." Felix purred into Y/N's ear before he licked over her neck, sinking his teeth lightly into her shoulder to hold him back from letting out another moan.

"Harder!" The girl commanded for Felix's surprise, who had already thought he was already being too rough with her. The lost boy followed the order, pressing himself tighter against her before he paced up, pumping in and out. The sudden sensation flooded Y/N's body and she knew there was something building up inside her, an indescribable feeling of being high. Felix moans got higher, sometimes even stuck in his throat and she was sure he was close too and that he desperately wanted to climax. Before she could realise it, Felix swayed them back onto the ground, gripping her ankles and pressing them against his legs as she wrapped her arms around his neck to capture the lost boy in another kiss.

"I am almost-" Felix spoke in a hoarse tone. It was so dark and Y/M really wished she could see his face at this moment. Felix was so vulnerable right now and even though his moans were the most beautiful melody in her ears, just the thought of a short glimpse of his face made her feel hotter.

"Felix." She purred when he suddenly hit a spot that would not stop making her feel like being on ecstasy.

"I-." She gasped when the knot inside her stomach released and she felt her orgasm roaring through her body with thousands of tiny, electric waves. Jaw clenched and eyes pinched, Felix gave it to her in short, powerful bursts, filling her up with throbbing pumps. His abs flexed and his hands tightened around her ankles. He cursed. His body tensed, and she swore she felt his cock pulsing inside of her as he came in waves, thrusting in and out until he felt himself getting soft.

"Fuck…" Felix let her legs fall to the side as he bent to rest his head on her sweaty chest. "That was…"

She combed her fingers through his messy hair, almost out of words how incredibly good she felt. "That was something."

"Yeah." He kissed the spot between her breasts, "It was."

Felix pulled his dick out, not even seeing the mess he made but still wanting more. Neither of them wanted that night to end and for a while, Felix tried to find his clothes and Y/N thought of how she would clean herself up.

"C'mon." Felix whispered and she heard him step away.

"Wait!" Y/N called and quickly grabbed her underwear- well, the only choice right now-, cleaning herself with it, before running after the tall blonde and crashing into his back.

"Easy, love." He chuckled and grabbed her under one of his arms and strutted towards the dark in one direction, knowing this place perfectly, even drunkenly and without light.

"Where are we going?" The girl asked after what felt like an eternity for her, but in reality it was just a few minutes. The trees left some space for the moonlight now and gave her a chance to take a peak from the second in command's happy face. His cheeks were dyed a deep scarlet and his hair hung messy and full sweat down his face.

"Trust me." He said and paced a little up before he came to halt in front of a big tree, the ladder up to it vanished behind some leaves. Felix climbed up first and lifted the girl up into the tree house when reached the trap door. Felix moved towards a small night desk and lit up a candle. As soon as the light flooded the room, Y/N saw the small cot and a self-made desk under one of the closed windows.

"I built it myself." The lost boy grinned and proudly watched the awe in her face. She swirled around and looked at some little carvings that were placed on the wooden table. Some of them looked like her. When Y/N's eyes detected the little sculpture, she finally understood why she never saw the results and why he burned one earlier. The girl turned around to say something, but Felix stopped her immediately. Before she could say anything, Felix dropped down onto one knee and pulled her into a kiss. His tongue slid over her lips, begging for permission to enter. Without thinking about it, she opened her mouth and felt the lost boy's hand on her hips, pressing her against his body.

"I never thought you would like me too." Felix moaned and eagerly kissed his way down her neck, back to her face and lips, repeating the same thing on the other side and showing how hungry he still was for the girl. Felix clearly had not been touched in a while, just like Y/N, so it was quite natural that they immediately would have a moment like this sooner or later. But why Felix? What was about him that made Y/N constantly crave more, causing her to feel like an addict without his drugs, whenever his lips left hers? Her cheeks heated up and she smiled in the kiss, thinking of the previous events, how Felix's hands felt on her skin. It was special to be with him and the girl's instincts told her that it was more than just sex, that Felix wanted more, too.

"I want you again." Felix licked over his lips and looked at Y/N through half-opened eyes before he slowly melted back into another kiss, this time slow and passionate, synchronising with her while his hands moved down her hips and legs. He gently rubbed his hand against her inner thigh and wandered towards her crotch, to shove a finger inside her still wet hole. He smirked dirty when he felt his mess. Y/N wanted him so much, just like he craved her, maybe even a little more.

"I want to get naked all night long." Felix purred as he pushed his fingers inside and out of Y/N, her light moans echoing in his ears. Without further commands, the girl slipped the dress over her shoulder, letting it elegantly slide down her now exposed body. Felix's cheeks flushed up into the deepest red, his eyes admiring every sight of her that he desired for so long, and truth be told, he was in awe. When the cotton touched the floor, the lost boy grabbed for the hem of his own shirt and ripped it off, then quickly unbuttoned his pants before he crossed them with his underwear through the room. When Felix pinned her down and pulled Y/N into another kiss, he was already hard again, his hot skin burning against hers as her mind drifted off into a feeling of ecstasy. The way Felix's hands trailed down her body gave her chills once more, kept her warm and made her feel wanted.

"Pan would kill us for this." She mumbled into the kiss when the girl thought of how he protected her earlier, something he never did before and sure did not keep unnoticed to the other boys as well. It worried Y/N for a moment, thinking about how Pan always found out every secret, no matter how little it was. And this was definitely not a small secret, something that could be obvious to others. Or maybe Y/N was just paranoid.

"Relax." Felix said, frowning at her words as if the same thought had bothered him for a while now, too. "He isn't here. He won't find out."

The blonde boy rolled over onto his back, pulling the girl with him so she would straddle him. The light of the candle danced over his sharp features, letting it shine in an orange light that spread down to his muscles, constantly catching her eyes as if they were glued on him. Felix always looked beautiful in the orange light of the fire. Every night she would catch herself staring at him. He was perfect.

"You look so beautiful." Felix whispered more to himself than to her, then wiped some hair out of her face. "Unbelievable that someone like you chose someone weird like me."

Before Y/N could correct him, the second in command already captured her lips with his own, burying one hand in her hair while he kneaded one of her breasts with the other one. His words only flattered the girl and she felt the burning desire to finally be one with him again and melt into his body. Felix gasped at her touch and moaned into her mouth when she wrapped her hand around his dick, slowly pumping up and down while gently rubbing at the delicate tip. His member felt long and thick in her hands, but did not scare her off like earlier. Placing the tip at her wet entrance, she slowly slid down onto him, relieved that the lost boy did not push against back,. The stretching feeling made her feel like getting torn apart all over again and she gave herself a moment to adjust to the size. The lost boy rolled his eyes back and shut them with a loud moan when he felt her walls tightened around, rubbing his thumbs against the tender flesh of her hips, when she finally started to slowly move up and down. Seeing the ruthless second in command like this was really stunning and lovely to look at. Felix's mouth was slightly agape and the muscles on his forehead were constantly twitching, moving his eyebrows constantly around. Never had Y/N seen so much emotion in his face before. She pressed her body against the lost boy and sucked at the tender part of Felix's neck. The lost boy used that moment as a chance to turn her over, holding Y/N tight in his arm, the other one holding his weight so he would not suffocate her while he was pumping in and out. Y/N moaned in ecstasy and ran her hands over his muscular back, feeling his skin against them and how his sweat dropped onto her body. She placed her legs on each side of his, clearly noticing the height difference and feeling like a delicate doll as he embraced her. Felix paced up and she rolled her eyes back when he entered in another angle to come even deeper. She never wanted this to stop and kept feeling how the lost boy filled her with his thick manhood, smelling his scent and feeling his hot skin burning against hers. Felix kissed his way down to her chest and caught one of her nipples between his lips, lightly starting to suck on them and intensing it with each time he thrusted in. These were the final strokes that caused Y/N's legs to shiver and tense up every muscle in her body as her climax roared through her whole body, up into her eyes into the back of her head. The lost boy grabbed Y/N's shoulders and when he came, too, the light of the candles danced in his beautiful, scrunched up face. It was a lie to say she did not like that view and the squeaking sound he made when Felix felt his orgasm deep inside her with throbbing pumps. Felix rolled next to the girl, trying to catch his breath and when he did so, he grabbed a towel from the bed for her.

"We could have used the bed." Y/N broke the soothing silence after a while and Felix chuckled, then nodded in agreement.

"Next time." He grinned, pulling his boxers up and placing himself back onto the ground. His eyes did not stop looking at the girl while she grabbed her dress and pulled it back over herself. For a long time they just looked at each other, laughing and giggling, kissing each other but remaining silent. This was clearly something none of them expected to happen.

"What do you see in me?" Y/N suddenly asked, caughting the lost boy off guard, his facial expression went into full confusion. It took him a moment to think about her question before he simply smiled. His eyes would always melt at her sight and in that moment she needed no words from him to realise how much he was in love with her. The lost boy pulled Y/N closer to him and placed her head against his chest, lifted her on his arms and carried her to the bed where he would let himself fall onto the soft mattress. His legs hung over the wooden frame as he gently rubbed his hands over her back while listening to the beat of his heart.

"I would never let anyone harm you." His voice was just a warm breeze on her earlobe, tickling her like a gentle kiss.

"What about Pan?" She asked after a while and took a glimpse at his relaxed face and how her question did not seem to have woken any worries inside him now. He had brushed it off earlier.

"I think, actually, he knew way before me." Felix chuckled low and shook his head unbelieving. "He gave me a chance I got wasted."

#felix ouat #ouat felix #parker croft #ouat felix imagine #ouat felix x reader #ouat felix smut

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bubblyhoney · 3 years ago

Note

can i request a fic where sapnap takes the reader to his hometown? like the classic going to places he went to when he was younger. maybe playgrounds and ice cream shops idk

places i used to go

warnings: language of course, an allusion to virginap, my uneducated guess of what sapnap was like in highschool, tiny detail of long haired!sapnap, singular canon detail of underage drinking, jokish about marriage

tags: sapnap x gn!reader

words: 2191

A/N: you are a god, anon. i love comfy and nostalgic fics like these and it was so fun to write. if you hate it dont tell me but if you like it lemme know akskdjd

inbox/requests: open

The wind whips fast on your bare fingers, cool and quick and raising goosebumps in its wake. You blink in the haze of the early sunset, head lolled to the side of the headrest. It feels good.

“That’s where I went to high school.” Sapnap interrupts your thoughts and points a finger at a collection of tall brick buildings down a side street. The silver of the lettering is dull, but you can still feel the nostalgia.

“And you’re about to see the park that me and my friends used to hang out at after work and—actually, nevermind.” His arm drops to the middle console and he looks straight ahead with slightly pinker cheeks.

“Do what?” You ask, voice all sweet, and a grin grows on your face. You turn towards him and wiggle your eyebrows.

“Nothing. Homework.” He avoids your eye contact and hikes his hand up higher on the steering wheel. “Anyways— Do you want to get some food before we head out? I know a great place.”

You two were just coming to a close on your little trip to visit his family; it was his step-mom’s birthday and you decided to make a week of it. It was your first long-term trip with Sapnap, and also your first time meeting his dad’s side of the family. You were proud to say she loved you. His little sister took a little more effort to talk to you of her own volition, but soon enough she was on your side.

You have a couple hours to kill before making your flight back home, so Sapnap has taken it upon himself to give you a quick tour of his hometown.

“Yeah,” you decide, bottom lip popped out. “Can we get ice cream after?”

“Uh, duh.” The Neighbourhood’s Stargazing starts through the speakers and he reaches to turn it down. “I’m so ready to get home and sleep.” He stretches his neck in his seat, letting out an uncharacteristically inappropriate grunt when his bones pop. You make a disgusted face, nose wrinkling, but stretch your own back, slumping down in the seat. The day had been full of packing up and this horrible hike his dad liked to do early in the mornings, so you two were pretty beat.

“Okay, we’re here,” he announces three sleepy minutes later in his best attempt at a whisper. Lifting your head off of the corner of your seat, you blink in the setting sunlight as a yawn splits your face. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, and struggle to get your seatbelt off in that post-nap haze. You’d barely been asleep for thirty seconds, damn it. The air is a swampy heat when you step out of the car onto rocky gravel and nearly twist your ankle climbing over the curb. Sapnap catches you by the lower back, trying to hide his laugh but failing miserably. You slide him a dirty look, smacking his shoulder as hard as you can manage while limping towards the front entrance.

The door jingles when you two breach the doorway, alerting a bored-looking hostess that the circus has arrived. She looks at Sapnap a second longer than she should, eyebrows screwed together in silent confusion. But she leads the two of you to a booth near a large window, handing you sticky menus and promptly fucking right off to the host station. She nearly runs.

“Do you know her?” You ask, inconspicuously hiding your face in the search for their 24/7 breakfast menu. You feel his eyes on you.

“Don’t think so.” He leans on one elbow and slides his phone out of his jeans’ pocket. In the 25 seconds it takes for you to find their french toast and sides menu, he has browsed and closed his phone with an animatedly shocked look on his face.

“What?” You give him a weird look and put down the menu.

“I totally went to homecoming with that girl.” He eyes the hostess. You glance over at her again, meeting her gaze, and offer a polite smile. She turns away quickly, eyes wide.

“She’s cute,” you say, voice high and fake, and he drums his fingers on the tabletop as an amused look makes its way onto his face.

“Are you—?”

“What?” You reply right back.

“Nothing.”

Thank God the server comes up to your table then and starts asking for drink orders, or else you’d have to admit (sheepishly) you were a tiny eensy-weensy bit annoyed. Only a tad. But after requesting a Dr. Pepper and a water the conversation surrounding the nervous-looking hostess dies.

“I’m so hungry I think I feel my stomach shrinking.” You flop your head onto your arm on the table top and make a whiny noise into the stack of napkins your server left at the table. Sapnap rubs his thumb into the side of your forearm, touch warm and nearly dissolving the pangs of hunger and jealousy.

“You weren’t hungry an hour ago.” He lifts your hand to his face and plants a kiss on the back of it. Oh, pulling out the big guns, huh? “I would have made you something.”

You tilt onto your chin, pouting, and stare up at his cute face. His cute, scruffy, perfectly-kissable face.

“I think I got hungry staring at you for half an hour.” A mischievous grin grows on your previously-petulant face and he just shakes his head.

“I do have that effect,” he admits with cockiness in his tone, lifting his eyebrows and leaning back into the booth with his lips pursed.

The server returns with two glasses and takes your food orders onto their little yellow notepad. You chug the water down when they leave for the kitchen, getting your lap and chin thoroughly wet in the process. Sapnap just snorts at you and shoves the napkins your way.

“So,” you start, patting dry your jeans. “tell me what you were like in high school.” You cross your arms and settle into the booth, smirk on your lips.

“What I was like?” He parrots, sipping at his soda, looking thoughtful. “Firstly, a virgin.” You make a noise. Duh. Dude had a buzz cut his junior year. (You’ve seen the pictures. His step-mom particularly likes them.) “Secondly, I was actually— well, I wasn’t popular, but I had a lot of friends. We were all semi-athletic lonely band kids but we had fun. Had one girlfriend senior year but she went to Cal Tech in the fall and I didn’t. I, um, worked at a Dairy Queen in the summers and gained so much weight I had to lose all over again for Unified Track.”

“Relatable,” you comment, drinking noisily at your water. He fiddles with the paper straw wrapper and crunches it up into a ball. It goes soaring into your drink with a quiet “Kobe” and you just give him a look. He smiles toothily right back at you. “Stop being cute, I’m trying to listen to your story.”

“Oh, my bad,” he mocks. “Anyways. That’s what I was like in highschool.” You fish the paper ball out of your water and flick it wetly at his arm. It sticks and you choke on a laugh, cheeks puffed.

Two plates of warm food are set down loudly onto the table and you thank the server with a surprised smile, Sapnap mirroring you.

Two minutes of wordless chewing passes, minds occupied just by “food, me eat” instead of anything related to your previous conversation. You realize that Sapnap is one of the loudest chewers ever, and he realizes that you fail to notice the streak of maple syrup in your hair.

“C’mere,” he mumbles through a mouthful of omelet and hash browns and beckons you with his hand. You lean closer, chewing slowly, as he pats a napkin at the strands of hair trapped in syrup.

“Thanks, baby.” You take the napkin from him and pause your assault of the warm french toast before you to clean the sticky sugar out of your hair. He just watches you, half of a smile on his lips.

You two finish your food in record time. It’s borderline vacuum-like. There’s a short grace period where you just sit like two lazy cats, slumped down in the booth and holding your full stomachs. But the check comes soon after, and you both pay your way and are out of the restaurant without any mad dashes for the bathroom. A miracle, really, because of the American-like amount of butter you both consume.

“I’m a much more functional person now,” you mutter into the cotton of his shoulder, swinging your hand in his. He just hums in agreement.

“I guess we’re not getting ice cream, then,” he teases, and you just groan in response.

“I don’t feel like having diarrhea on a plane, unfortunately.” You sigh heavily when you have to split and get into your respective sides of the rental car.

The entire trip (somewhat roundabout because of the amount of side quests to show you things from his childhood) to the airport Sapnap is a chatterbox. He’s like this when he has sugar: either bouncing off the walls with energy or talking your ear off.

“That’s where my dad proposed to my step-mom. I was kinda young but I remember being surprised at how big the ring was— dude broke the bank for her.” It’s a little gazebo you catch a glimpse of through the trees in a park. It probably was an incredibly picturesque moment, and you can sense how much she must have loved it. With just meeting them this weekend, you can already see how much love those two have for each other.

You hope people can see how much you love Sapnap.

“Oh my God, it’s still there.” He points out the side of your window to what looks like a Dairy Queen that has been through World War 3. “My buddy Eric and I once spilled a gallon of that liquid ice-cream-shit all over the men’s bathroom.”

You shoot him a horrified look. “Why was it in the bathroom?”

He just smirks.

“—And that’s my Uncle Ron’s house. Had my first beer there.”

“And last, hopefully,” you add, pulling a disgusted face. The two story bungalow is cute, and one of your favorite colors: olive green. “That shit is nasty.”

He just shrugs and continues down the side street.

“Is this the park you were talking about?”

He pulls into the gravelly parking lot of a small clearing of tall trees, a picnic table and campfire sat squat in the middle. But he doesn’t respond, just turning the car off and climbing out. He reaches the passenger door without speaking, and opens it for you. You climb carefully out, confused.

“Come on.” He takes your hand and starts for a small path to the left of the picnic table. The mid-sunset shade envelopes the both of you.

“I hope this isn’t where you kill me.”

“No,” he snorts. “I just wanted to show you something.”

It’s just a few moments of stumbling through the damp underbrush before you’re coming face to face with a small, mossy pond that sits right underneath an incredibly old willow tree. He stops right on the edge of the rocky path and turns toward you.

“This your make out spot?” You ask between a grin as he snakes an arm around your waist and tugs you flush to him. Your innocent smile fades when you feel the press of his lips to the side of your neck, light and ticklish. Oh.

“No,” he murmurs, and just breathes you in. “I came here once—the night before I graduated highschool. And I told myself when I really really loved someone I’d take them here with me.” He sways with you in his grasp, a gentle and song-less dance.

You grip his shoulder tighter in your hand and lean into him.

“That’s— awfully romantic, huh?” Your voice is quiet. Almost nervous. He just makes a noise of agreement.

“So here we are.” His voice is the opposite of yours, all strong and confident.

You two just move together for a moment. The sun breaks through the tree canopy, shining bright orange down onto the glassy surface of the pond. Crickets and frogs chirp back and forth as the willow vines swing in a cool evening breeze. You watch nature come alive around you, suddenly grateful for the man in your arms.

“Don’t propose,” you whisper, breaking the gentle tension. A laugh breaks the silence and he’s pulling away to look at you. Maybe in disbelief. A strand of hair falls into his eyes and you brush it away, fingers stilling on his temple and sliding down onto his cheek. Stubble scrapes against the skin of your palm and he stares at you through those meadow eyes.

You realize in that moment that he is exactly himself. Of course he is. He’s Sapnap, and everything that encompasses that. Dark and light and fiery and cool. He always has been, and always will be.

You realize you wouldn’t mind if he proposed.

A/N: ask or send me some stuff!! requests, rants, anything. let me know what you think

#sapnap #mcyt #sapnap x gn!reader #sapnap x reader #sapnap x you #sapnap fluff #sapnap drabble #sapnap one shot #sapnap oneshot #mcyt x reader #mcyt x you #honey answers #my lovely anon #sapnap fanfic #bubblyhoneyfics

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gotham-ruaidh · 3 years ago

Text

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

This story takes place during the summer of 1987. It’s the time of the Cold War, and heavy metal, and Just Say No.

Ten chapters, each with a specific song as its soundtrack.

I’m so excited to finally share it with you.

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) ||| Also posted at AO3

—-

Chapter 5: Danger

I was blind // One step from the edge // Spin round and round // Out of my head...

Soundtrack: “Danger,” Mötley Crüe, 1983 [click here to listen]

Dinner passed uneventfully. Claire picked at her spaghetti, lacking appetite, listening to the conversations unfurling around her:

“…yeah, I remember that one time my buddy and I were watching TV and one of those Just Say No commercials came on, and we laughed our asses off as we took bumps of coke…”

“…the bed sheets are way too scratchy. I’m trying to get my husband to send me a set from our house, but those goddamn counselors and their goddamn rules and phone time limits mean I haven’t told him yet…”

“…what kind of meat do you think is in this sauce? If it’s beef then I’m morally opposed to it…”

Most people had finished eating and were now getting up and moving around to other tables, sitting with friends, catching up after another day.

Quietly Claire stood and slipped out of the dining room and onto the spacious deck. Breathing deeply the fresh air.

Jamie was already leaning against the rail.

She sidled up alongside him. “Don’t feel like socializing?”

His fingers drummed on the wood. “Not today. This may sound funny, but I really don’t like crowds.”

“You seemed fine at Group this afternoon. That’s a crowd, right?”

He looked over – and down – at her. Christ, he was tall.

“When the attention’s all focused on me, I’m fine. I’m with other people, but I’m separate from them – whether that’s on a stage, or in my house, or on my tour bus. But to be in a room with a lot of other people…”

“Yeah. It’s not just the noise, either. It’s…you just want to get away from it. Process.”

He shared a small smile. “You understand.”

She nodded. “I do.”

Together they watched birds flit from treetop to treetop, and the setting sun glint off of a waterfall far away, deep down in the beautiful valley before them.

“You said that your therapist told you to be honest, right?”

He nodded.

The hum of conversation drifted through the open door.

“Why have you taken such an interest in me? You have your pick of any of the women here.”

He jerked, almost as if she’d hit him.

“What the hell are you insinuating?”

“You told me yourself – you’re a sex addict. I don’t know if that was your way of telling me – ”

“Do you seriously think I just want to get into your pants, Claire?” His nostrils flared – his cheeks flushed – his hands shook. “No,” he said, quite emphatically. “Christ, no. Definitely no.”

Agitated, he scrubbed his hair with his hands. “I won’t lie to you, Claire – you’re a beautiful woman, even with the dark circles under your eyes. Maybe six months ago I would have pulled you into my dressing room and had my way with you. But there’s a reason why I’m here. I can’t be that man anymore. The alcohol always brought it out in me.”

She closed her eyes, shame washing over her. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey. Claire, hey.” Softly, softly he reached for her clammy, shaking hands. Squeezed them. “I don’t want to upset you. I know you’re still getting used to everything here. The last thing you need is me in your life.”

She took a deep breath. “What we talked about in Group today – about clarity? Well, I fucking finally have clarity now that the Halcions are out of my system. I’m feeling for the first time in two years. Feeling so fucking much. I’m angry at Frank and I’m angry at my friend Joe and I’m angry at the pharmacist who had to know what was going on when he filled the prescriptions. And I’m so. Fucking Angry. At myself!”

She yanked her arms from his grip. Eyes wild.

“Fuck! How did it get to be so bad? How did I get here?”

“At least you’re here, Claire.” Jamie’s voice was quiet, calm. “It could be a lot worse.”

Tears wet the corners of her eyes. “You mean, I could be fucking dead?”

He nodded. “This is your second chance. Grab onto it.”

She completely deflated.

Slowly, slowly he gathered her into his arms. Tucked her head beneath his chin as she cried.

“Shh. It’s all right.” He ran a gentle hand up and down her back. “Trust me. It’s all right. I sobbed like a little kid every day for the first two weeks I was here.”

She inhaled deeply. A hurricane of emotion.

“I’m such a fuck-up,” she hiccupped.

“You’re not. You care about your own healing. Others care, too – that’s why you’re here. Right?”

She nodded.

He was silent for a long while. “There is a reason, Claire, why I – why I’m drawn to you. But I won’t tell you now, not when you’re so exhausted.”

She sniffed. Swallowed. Straightened in the circle of his arms.

It was almost dark, but she could see his eyes clearly.

Gently he brushed a curl away from her forehead. “Come on. I think we have chocolate pudding for dessert tonight. Let me get you a bowl.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be

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spaceorphan18 · 3 years ago

Text

Head Over Feet (3/14)

After Kurt and Blaine broke up the second time, they went their separate ways, living their separate lives in New York City. Fifteen years later, a retirement party brings them back together into each other’s orbit, with surprising, for both of them, consequences. Are they able to fit each other into their already complicated and messy lives? And are these newfound feelings real? Or just echoes of a past relationship?

Canon Divergent after Season 5.

Ao3 Link

A/N: Okay, so here's the deal with this one - my goal is to post at least once a month. However, if I get it done early, I'm going to get it out to you guys, because I'm having such fun writing it. Thanks for reading! :D

Thanks to @snarkyhag for the beta. :)

***

2016 (12 years earlier)

Blaine shifts excitedly in his chair. His therapist, a long-haired, brunette woman in her mid-thirties, gets her notebook ready. She takes a sip of her water, then settles into the seat opposite of him, ready to engage.

“Hello, Blaine,” she says with that easy smile ready for him.

“Hi, Andrea,” he says. He’s nearly bouncing. He feels good. Really good. It’s the first time since he started seeing her that he’s felt alive again. It’s a nice feeling.

“You’re rather giddy today, I notice,” she says, with a tilt of her head. “Does this mean you got the part?” She has been with him for over a year now -- ever since he returned to New York. He feels comfortable with her, especially since she seems to understand him better than he understands himself. “I did!” He does a happy little wiggle in his seat. “It’s not the part I wanted, but it’s a part - and since it’s the first part I’ve landed since being back, I feel back on track for the first time.”

“Well, that’s great, Blaine,” Andrea says. “You’re a very talented young man. I never doubted your ability to bounce back.”

He beams with pride. It does feel good to be back on stage, to be performing. How long has it been since he’s been in a production? Surely not since Grease.

But it’s not the part that has him so squirmy, and she can sense it. “Something else you’d like to talk about?”

“I met the crew for the show a couple days ago,” Blaine explains. “The company had this meet and greet dinner, where the producers took everyone out. Fancy restaurant, too, we had lobster. I mean being at Tisch is nothing to scoff at, but this will definitely be a well funded production that’s for sure.”

Andrea smiles. “I’m sure it’ll be a lovely production. Tisch is known for a lot of great actors and actresses.”

Blaine nods, though school is really the furthest thing on his mind. “So, anyway, we had this dinner, and my castmates are good people. I think I’m going to learn a lot from them. And, um…” he begins to drum on the sides of the chair. Andrea leans forward, intrigued. “This is the first time I met the crew, and, uh, the custom designer - well, his assistant - Sean…” Blaine trails off, thinking about Sean’s dark eyes. His crooked smile. “We, uh, we got talking and we ended up staying out all night. We didn’t sleep together,” Blaine adds, wanting to make sure that important detail is included. “We just… connected.”

Andrea leans back in her chair -- knowing. “That’s good, Blaine. I’m glad that you’re making new connections. It’s healthy.”

It feels more than she’s insinuating though. He can’t quite describe how Sean makes him feel, but it’s special -- something he hasn’t felt in a very long time. “I’ve been on a few dates since I’ve gotten back to the city. They’ve been fine. Some great guys. But Sean’s the first one who seems to really see me. Or at least, the first once since…” he lets his voice trail off.

He and Andrea have had enough discussions about that. He doesn’t want to think about that anymore.

“That must feel good,” Andrea observes. “It’s healthy, you know, to let yourself feel things with other people. I know trust is a hard thing for you, but making that connection is a great first step.”

It’s been a hard year, he reflects. Hard to pick himself up again. Hard to get himself back to New York, and back on track. He thinks about the person he had been a year ago -- or even two years ago -- and he’s not that same person anymore. He’s a better version of himself.

“I feel like I’ve gotten to a really good place in my life,” Blaine says, reminding himself to be sure of that fact. “Getting into school wasn’t easy. Getting myself back on track, getting new friends who support me, having you… I’ve finally been feeling like a really good version of myself. But I’m realizing now that there might have been something missing.”

“Like a piece of the puzzle you needed to put in place?”

He flinches at the thought. “No, more like… being on the same page of the person I wanted to be. I think I was running from the old me -- with all the hair style changes and clothing changes and trying to date guys who really weren’t my style. I was trying to escape, I think. But in meeting Sean - something just clicked. We want all the same things. We want careers on Broadway. We want the stability of a loving relationship. We want to be married…”

“Blaine,” Andrea cuts him off quickly. Her concerned look worries him. “I want you to be careful. You have just met this guy.”

“I know,” he says sharply. “I know and I promise I’m not rushing. I’m just walking. But it feels so right.”

“You have been doing so well,” Andrea compliments him, using her pen to tap him kindly on the knee. “You are an admirable and talented young man, who has been working hard to put his life together. And you should be proud of that. I just want you to be careful moving forward. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming but it’s important to remember to keep your feet firmly on the ground…”

***

2028 (Present Day)

The next morning, Blaine’s up and dressed earlier than he expects. He makes a small breakfast in his parent’s silent kitchen, and tries not to think too hard about the previous night. It still feels like something out of a dream -- finding Kurt in Scandals of all places, as if an eighteen year old version of him had found his dream come true. He can’t believe he hooked up with Kurt. He can’t believe Kurt let them hook up. He’s not sure what he’s going to feel seeing Kurt again in the daylight. But at least their conversation had been nice. He doesn’t regret that.

He doesn’t get much time to ponder since Santana shows up at the house in record time. She had taken a late flight last night, crashed at her parents’, and borrowed her mother’s car to get to his place. She chatters away as they get ready for the party -- talking about how bumpy the flight had been, how it had been nice that her mom had stayed up to greet her, and how driving through Lima felt like going back in time, and she isn’t sure how she feels about it. Even so, she’s upbeat and more excited than he is about going to this party.

He’s unusually quiet as he lets her do her thing in the bathroom, flipping through a few magazines his mom left in the living room, trying to not let his mind wander. It’s not until she’s done getting ready that he has anything to say.

“I thought this was a casual event?” Blaine says with a smirk.

Santana’s dressed in her best, tiny red strapless dress and black heels, her black hair cascading over her shoulders. She looks as though she’s on her way to a club, not to what is essentially a high school reunion, but Blaine doesn’t expect anything less. “You can be classy and still casual,” she says with a twirl. “And don’t worry, there’s a very dignified jacket that goes with it.”

“It looks like you’re saying ‘I’m hot and better than all of you’.”

Santana throws her hands up. “Isn't that the point of these things?”

Blaine throws his magazine on the coffee table with amusement. “What would they do if they found out you wear jeans and t-shirts like normal people?”

“Hush,” she teases. “I actually bought this when I thought Brit was coming, but she’s not. Speaking of which...” Santana flops on the couch with him, rummaging through her purse for her phone. “So, this happened a couple days ago.”

She brings up a video, one of Brittany Pierce’s many webseries. She’s sitting with an androgynous person, dressed in a stylish suit, and excitedly explains how ‘this special bi-corn’ met her ‘non-binary life mate’. The video goes on about marriage details, but Santana shuts it off before the end. Blaine’s hesitant to speak at first, but Santana is less worked up than he expects.

“Are you okay?” he offers.

“You know - I’m not going to lie, when I first saw the video pop up in my feed I felt the familiar tingle of rage surge through my body,” she says. “But after throwing a few things at the wall and screaming a bit, I calmed down and called her. We had a great chat, actually, and I realized that I was more upset that I found out on YouTube than her actually telling me herself. I feel like I should be more upset, but I’m really not. And talking to her reminded me that we’re still friends - still good friends. We’re just never going to be anything more than that, you know? And it’s Brittany, she’ll allow pretty much anyone to share her bed at any given moment if I really felt like I was missing that.”

Blaine nods but says nothing. He’s always admired Santana’s unique relationship with Brittany. He wonders why he can’t seem to be on a more mature level.

“Anyway, what we had is special,” Santana continues. “She was my first real love, and I’ll always cherish that. But that story is over and I’m okay. Besides, that same day, Quinn Fabray texted me saying that while she wasn’t coming to the reunion, she wanted to have lunch and hinted at the possibility of a little pity sex. And you know what, suddenly I just didn’t feel so bad about Brittany.”

Blaine nods along, more absently than he realizes because Santana calls him out on it.

“You’re being awfully quiet right now, is all of my high school related melodrama stirring up uncomfortable feelings about seeing a certain ex-fiance? Cause I heard he’s coming.”

“What?” Blaine tries to act completely surprised. “Where did you hear that?”

Santana smirks. “Mercedes said he texted her yesterday. So what sexy number can we dig up for you to wear?”

Blaine looks down at his clothes, khakis and a button down silk shirt. “I was just planning on this. Maybe a vest if it gets too cold. Not all of us can be as glamorous as you.”

Santana groans. “Ug, you are so boring, you know that? It’s been, what, a decade and you’re not even going to show off that you grew from a tiny weird-dressing hobbit into an attractive drink of a… well, let’s face it, you’re still a hobbit. But you have better hair.”

He musses his hair a little. “Thanks, Santana,” he says quietly.

“Okay, what is wrong with you? You’ve been weird all morning. Did ole Pam and Jon get sentimental on you last night?”

“Um, no, predictably, my parents have more of a social life than I do,” Blaine says. “They left this morning for some social thing in Columbus.”

She looks him up and down, trying to read him. He feels like he’s on display, like all of his thoughts can be read on his face, but he says nothing. “What is it?” Santana digs further. “Is it that you had to stay in your old room and relieve the tragedy of having to wear all those blazers?”

Blaine throws his head back with a laugh. “No, not that at all.”

“Okay, you are just going to have to tell me then,” she says, pointing a finger at him. “Because I’m going to find out eventually, and you know that.”

A grin slips across his face. “I may have… hooked up with someone last night.”

“What?” She is in sincere shock. “Where?”

“Scandals?”

“Scandals?!” She howls with laughter. “The world’s saddest gay bar, oh Blaine.”

“Well, it is the only gay bar in town.”

“Still…” She doesn’t ask him why, but she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t judge him either. And after the hilarity of Scandals rolls over, she looks at him with genuine concern.

“Sean’s been fucking around with people for a while,” he admits. It feels weird to say that outloud finally. It’s not like he hasn’t known. It’s not like they hadn’t actually had a conversation about opening up the relationship after a rough past few years. “Maybe I should be more upset. Maybe it’s scarier that I’m not. But I just… miss having that connection, you know? I wanted to feel that again.”

Santana gives him a look of confusion. “And you thought a one-night stand would accomplish that?”

Blaine bites his lip, trying hard not to remember the deliciously familiar taste of Kurt’s cock in his mouth. “It was a good one-night stand.”

“Jesus, fuck, Blaine?” Santana’s eyes bulge as she hits him with one of the throw pillows. “We’re having a longer conversation about this when we get back.”

“I know, I know…”

***

Kurt is slow to rise the next morning. He feels a little nauseous but not sure if that’s from the drinking or --. He doesn’t want to think about it. For a moment, he’s staring blankly at the ceiling, watching the fan above spin and spin and spin. He ponders going straight back to New York. What happens in Lima can stay in Lima. But as he reaches for his phone, he sees a message from Mercedes Jones excited about seeing him and he decides that he can’t just leave now that he’s here.

Ian has also texted him. His replies back are short and to the point. No need to alert him of anything odd.

With nothing else to do, he takes his time getting ready; shower, skin care, hair, suit. All the while trying to remain focused on how he’ll act at the party. Conversations can stay towards New York and his theater. Or better yet, on everyone else. He can’t help but wonder, though, how it’ll be with Blaine. Will they act like last night never happened?

What even did happen last night?

He stands at the sink, frozen as he thinks of Blaine -- beautiful and brazen; the musical tones of his laughter, the sureness of his hands on Kurt’s skin.

How did he slip so easily into hooking up with Blaine?

Why did it feel so good?

His phone buzzes, startling him. Ian’s grinning face illuminates his phone.

Last night had been an accident. He should let it stay buried in Lima.

***

When Kurt arrives at the party, he’s relieved to find that it’s already in full swing. Much like a graduation open house, people are coming and going from Will Schuester’s home. The weather is nice, a perfect cool fall day. There are tents set up in the lawn, a swarm of unfamiliar people flow from the buffet tables to the seating area full of tables and chairs decorated with red and white streamers and balloons. There’s a large banner congratulating Will on his years in education.

Kurt looks around for someone he knows, but suddenly feels quite alone in a sea of people he doesn’t recognize. There are small children running around, playing a game of chase as they swarm around the adults’ legs. There are teenagers there, huddled in small groups, looking much younger than Kurt remembers being at that age. The adults feel far too worn to be people his own age.

Will and Emma are in a circle of what might be a few colleagues when Kurt approaches. He waits for an older gentleman to finish his story to cut in and congratulate Will on his accomplishment. For a moment, Kurt wonders if Will even recognizes him, but then Will jumps into a story about Kurt’s audition - and how impressed he had been at Kurt’s range. Kurt laughs, and makes the appropriate small talk, but can’t quite shake the uncomfortable feeling that he doesn’t really belong.

As Will launches into a story from his first year of teaching the glee club, Kurt sees that Blaine has arrived. His stomach twists a little as Blaine remains handsome in the sobering daylight. He’s also got Santana Lopez on his arm, the two of them looking like a couple of married politicians, over doing the smiles and waves as they stroll up the lawn. Once they reach the circle, Kurt and Blaine lock eyes for a second -- a single shared, silent moment of acknowledgement that something more intimate had just recently occurred between them. But then it’s gone as Blaine falls into his charming pace, chattering about his life, New York, and how he, too, is now an educator.

Kurt can’t help but notice the wedding ring is back on. He also notices Santana watching him, and pretends something in the distance has caught his attention.

Eventually, Will and Emma get pulled away, dispersing the circle, leaving Kurt and Blaine to remain there, awkwardly staring at each other.

What are you supposed to say? Kurt doesn’t know where to start.

Thankfully, Blaine breaks first. “Hi,” he says. His voice is soft, almost welcoming.

Kurt begins to breathe a little easier. “Hey.”

Blaine moves in for a stiff hug as Santana watches in fascination.

Kurt isn’t sure what to say. Blaine doesn’t look like he knows either. Santana, however, slides a grin on her face, having a few thoughts, surely, but doesn’t get the chance to say any of them.

Sam Evans and Mike Chang greet them in a circle. Sam has put on a little more weight than when he was in high school, but is still tan and blonde and has aged incredibly well. Mike’s face has matured, and moves as if he’s aware of every angle his body makes, but he retains that easy smile and twinkling eyes he had all those years ago. There is no awkwardness between Blaine and the other two guys -- only warm smiles and laughter and relaxed hugs. They each also make a point to say hello to Kurt, but it’s more formal, more like an afterthought.

As the boys start off into hurried conversation, Santana makes it a point to pull Kurt aside. “Why so tense, Hummel? I’m not going to hurt you?” She lets out a laugh as she draws him into a sincere hug. “Can’t I say hello to my favorite former roommate?”

Kurt relaxes into a smile, remembering that at one point, he had been rather fond of her. “And yet, you never send Christmas cards,” he lightly teases.

“Well, Blaine and I are looking for a tiny dog so that we can make our fake family complete,” Santana jokes back. “Once we find one for our photoshoot, I promise you’ll be at the top of our list.”

He looks over to Blaine, who is engrossed in a story Sam is telling. Their eyes meet again, for a fleeting moment, both of them hurriedly look away.

“I would not put it past the two of you to put together fake Christmas cards,” Kurt says. “Blaine told me that the two of you were close.”

Santana narrows her eyes. “When have the two of you been in touch?”

“Oh,” Kurt thinks of the bar, thinks of their conversation… it had been a good conversation… Involuntarily, his lips curl up into a smile. “We ran into each other yesterday.”

Kurt tries to play it off as casual, but Santana’s eyes widen with interest. “Did you now?”

Kurt isn’t going to indulge her. What happened between him and Blaine is going to stay between them and left in this wretched town with all the bad memories. “You look good, Santana. Seems age has treated you like a fine wine.”

“Flatterer.” Santana notes he’s deflecting, but thankfully doesn’t press the subject. “You’re not doing so badly yourself.”

“If anyone’s looking good - it’s totally me.” Kurt turns and, to his delight, Mercedes, looking like the goddess that he remembers her as, is standing behind them. “Oh, don’t stand there all shellshocked, c’mere and give me a hug.” Mercedes waves her hands, ushering them both to give her a huge hug. Mercedes is warm and bubbly, and Kurt realizes how much he had missed her particular enthusiastic brand of sunshine. “Sam left me to go park the car,” she says, throwing the keys at him. “It’s the last time I drive his ass anywhere.”

“Hey now, hey now,” Sam argues as he comes to put an arm around her, kissing the top of her head. “You said you didn’t like how I drove.”

“Yup, we’re getting a chauffeur next time we go anywhere together,” she insists.

The small group of them settle to a table at the far end of one of the tents, completely fine that they’re in their own little world, slightly outside of the retirement party swirling on around them. The conversation easily flows, though Kurt feels just a tad on the outside of it, just like back in high school. Sam jumps head first into his impressions, Mercedes swatting at him as he tries to get her to laugh. Mike shows them a bunch of pictures of his family, and fondly asks if any of them have kept in touch with Tina. Santana makes it a point to name drop all the C-List celebrities whose careers she’s been trying to rehabilitate through her PR job. The afternoon easily drifts by.

Kurt doesn’t say much about himself, just that he has his theater and that life in New York is everything he’s dreamed of. Well. Almost everything. He doesn’t bring up Ian, skirting around both Mercedes’s and Santana’s attempts to bring up a possible significant other. He doesn’t want to have that conversation in front of Blaine. He doesn’t really want to have that conversation at all.

He notes that Blaine doesn’t bring up his husband much, either. Kurt learns that his name is Sean, and that he’s some kind of costume designer, but any other details are few and far between, and Kurt can’t help but wonder if there’s more to Blaine’s silence than he lets on.

After they catch up on their current lives, the conversation inevitably comes around to nostalgia, everyone taking turns picking out favorite memories. It’s funny to Kurt at how fuzzy high school has become. He remembers, vaguely, what it had been like in high school -- how everything felt more intense, more dramatic and how every little squabble, every little mishap felt like a big endeavor. He wouldn’t ever go back, not ever, but Kurt can’t help but think how his life has grown dull in comparison.

But making things more uncomfortable is the unmentioned commentary that Kurt’s high school years are inexplicably tied up with Blaine’s. Kurt doesn’t know how to comment on such things, for good or for worse, without dragging Blaine into the conversation with him. Does Blaine still have the good memories? Do the bad memories haunt him? As chatty as Blaine’s been that afternoon, he’s almost as quiet as Kurt is as the memories roll around the table.

There’s a stiffness between them as their friends rattle off old anecdotes and fond stories of the good ole days. Kurt almost wishes he and Blaine were back at Scandals, just the two of them. Talking to Blaine the night before had been surprisingly easy. Maybe it had been the lack of another audience -- or the addition of alcohol. But Kurt and Blaine spend the entire discussion trying hard not to look at each other.

Only twice did their shared history rear its looming head. The first time being the mention of Will and Emma’s aborted wedding, Santana going on about how she hooked up with Quinn Fabray, much to the shock of everyone sitting there. Blaine lowers his eyes at Kurt, giving him a wink, as he undoubtedly remembers their own night together in that hotel room.

The second time being when Sam and Mercedes bring up prom. Kurt isn’t sure which one they’re discussing, but this time Blaine looks at him with almost sorrowful eyes. There had been Junior Prom with all the humiliation that had come with being crowned Prom Queen that year. And of course slowly falling asleep on the couch afterwards, both still in their formal wear, Blaine holding Kurt tightly as he told Kurt he was the prince of his dreams.

Then Senior Prom, with Blaine’s ridiculous hair. How after Puck took a drunken Becky home and Finn and Rachel felt the need to celebrate somewhere private, they ended up having an entire hotel room to themselves where they proceeded to fuck until morning.

And of course, Blaine’s Senior Prom, where afterwards he came home to videochat with Kurt, and they tried having Skype sex, but the loft’s wifi was spotty at best and he ended up falling asleep with his dick out waiting for it to connect again.

The memories come flooding back, things he hadn’t thought about in years, things he’d all but forgotten coming back to him as clear as day.

The conversation rolls over into winning Nationals and uncomfortable bus rides, and yet, Kurt’s gaze lingers on Blaine, the boy he once fell in love with, the guy he once was going to marry, the man he no longer knows. There’s something charged in the air. And he can tell Blaine feels it, too. But all of that had been so long ago. They are very different people now. Those memories are of a lifetime ago, of a story that’s long been over.

***

They hear her before they see her. One loud voice, trained to carry across large distances. “Hello, old friends, dearest family, adoring fans. Yes, your eyes don’t deceive you. I have returned home, at last.” Her arms are raised in a dramatic fashion. She’s dressed head to toe in designer black leather, expensive sunglasses shielding her eyes. Her hair sits on the top of her head, perfectly styled. Everything about her, from her gold handbag to her large, hoop earrings screams gaudy money. Say what you will about Rachel Berry - the woman knows how to make an entrance.

Trailing just behind her, as she makes her way through the crowd, is a much older, and more sophisticated Jesse St. James. Kurt’s absolutely fascinated by his presence, and judging by the gigantic, sparkling rock on Rachel’s finger, he’s not some fluke. Still, Kurt leans in behind a gaping Mercedes Jones, hoping that maybe she won’t notice he’s there. No such luck.

After a very short exchange with Will and Emma, Rachel immediately scopes out the rest of the party - eyeing them immediately. “My beloved friends,” she coos as she approaches.

“Yeah, when was the last time she talked to any of us,” Mercedes mutters, while the rest of them snicker.

“I, for one, am delighted by this development,” Santana says, bewildered. “I can’t wait to hear how much of her life is actually a fucking trainwreck.”

Rachel swoops in, giving them all hard kisses on the cheek. Jesse stands, amused, at the edge of their table. “Hello, everyone, you all look gorgeous,” she says without making eye contact with any of them. “And I know what all of you are thinking -- how lucky you are to have a friend who is so beloved by so many. And what a humble and down-to-earth person she remained if she could still attend a party that is, well, frankly, beneath her in status. But I have never forgotten my roots. And this is, of course, where I met my husband.” She sticks out her hand, wiggling her fingers, as if they’re supposed to be impressed by the diamond on her finger. They all kind of sit there in a stunned silence.

“I think your presence has them riveted in their seats,” Jesse says, coming up behind Rachel to put a playful arm around her stomach. He breathes in her hair. Kurt can’t help but throw a disgusted look over to Blaine, who lets out a charmed giggle.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering what I’m up to,” Rachel declares, pulling up a chair from another table, and squeezing uncomfortably close in-between Blaine and Santana. “As you know, I had quite the successful TV show on for over a decade. And now that it’s off the air, I’ve been wondering what I should do with my life. So, I’ve decided that I need to return home and reevaluate my career.”

“You mean because there was an expose on how you’ve been a nightmare on set and no one will hire you?” Santana smirks.

Rachel retains her fake grin, though Jesse shoots her a piercing look. “Oh, don’t mind her,” Rachel waves it off. “You can’t believe everything you hear on Twitter, Santana. You of all people should know that. No, since Jesse and I got married two years ago, I’ve decided that there is something missing from my life. When I say I’m returning home - I mean New York. Broadway. Live theater. It’s been so long, and I really do miss it so much. And all of you. I do hope that once my move to New York is complete, we can regain the friendships we once had.”

“I live in LA,” Mercedes says dryly. “We’ve been in the same city for almost fifteen years.”

“Yes, well--”

“I’m in Chicago,” Mike points a finger in the air.

“I’m not sure when the last time I left Ohio,” Sam admits, thinking hard about it.

“Well, you’re all welcome to my opening night when I figure out what--” Something catches Rachel’s eye. She snaps up Blaine’s hand, staring at his ring. “See, Jesse, this is what I was talking about on the ride over here. So much has happened since I’ve been away. I missed Kurt and Blaine’s wedding.”

Kurt immediately looks at Blaine, who is as shocked as Kurt is by Rachel’s revelation. “Blaine and I aren’t married, Rachel.”

“What?” Her surprise is genuine.

Blaine carefully takes his hand away. “My husband couldn’t make it. He’s still back in New York.”

“Oh,” Rachel’s face falls as she looks at Kurt. “That’s so sad.”

“Rachel, we haven’t been a couple in over a decade,” Kurt says, trying to be casual about it. “We’re fine.” His voice falters, but he wonders if anyone but Blaine notices. He looks away, avoiding Blaine’s gaze.

“Oh,” Rachel repeats, with a remarkable amount of disappointment in her voice. “Well, I guess that explains why I never got an invitation. I suppose it’s for the better. Not that either of you could entertain such a lavish wedding the way Jesse and I did…”

Not wanting to hear any more about Rachel’s charmed life, Kurt excuses himself from the table.

***

Blaine checks his watch. A good fifteen minutes has passed since Kurt left, and he can’t help but feel antsy as to whether or not he’ll be back. He knows he should probably leave it alone. Whatever had happened between him and Kurt this weekend had been nice, but does it really belong outside of Lima? Is it anything more than a release of old, pent up feelings? And maybe, if pressed to think about it, the desire to have someone familiar in his arms again.

Still, Kurt’s not there, and he doesn’t want Kurt to leave his life again without saying goodbye. He gets up from the table, claiming the need to use the restroom. Even Santana’s too engrossed in chatting up Rachel Berry to notice that he’s on a singular mission.

Thankfully, it doesn’t take long to find Kurt -- who is leaning against a car in the grassy area reserved for parking, looking back at the party, deep in thought. Blaine approaches carefully.

“I thought maybe you had left,” he says as he comes beside Kurt.

Kurt moves over, allowing Blaine to have room beside him. “The thought had crossed my mind,” he admits. “I mean, it’d be easier, right?”

“Well, you did promise me that you’d never say goodbye,” Blaine says. A raw memory? Maybe. At least it gets Kurt to grin.

“Well, at least that’s one promise I never broke,” Kurt says. “No, I just needed a moment for some space. Have a moment to think. This weekend has been… a lot.”

Blaine would be lying to himself if he didn’t agree. “Never expected a trip home to carry such weight,” he says. He wraps his arms around himself. The sun is setting, the coolness of the breeze whistles between them. “It’s been nice to see everyone, though. Makes me a little sad that we haven’t all been together in so long.”

“I guess,” Kurt says, thinking it over. “I think maybe I liked it better when it was just you and me in the bar. Less pressure maybe.”

Kurt looks up to stare at him. It’s intense, but Blaine can’t tell what he’s thinking. He never could, really. That’s how they ended up on their paths, right? “Yeah, maybe,” Blaine looks away, playing with his wedding ring, something he hasn’t done in a long time. “You know, as I was coming out to find you, everyone was talking about going out for breakfast tomorrow. You’re welcome to come.”

“And prolong this nostalgia fest? I’m not sure. Maybe.”

“Well…”

“Yeah…”

“You know, I’m really glad we ran into each other this weekend,” Blaine says. Kurt looks at him, as if he doesn’t quite believe it, but Blaine’s words are sincere. This has been such a strange and complicated return home, but he doesn’t regret it. Not at all. “I’m glad we could catch up. It’s been far too long.”

Kurt’s deep in his thoughts. Blaine can tell there are a million things running through his mind. “Yeah, same.”

Blaine nods, not sure what to say, but not quite ready to go either. “Yeah…”

“Hey, Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

Kurt’s eyes are a dark, ocean blue. His memory floods with all the times he used to stare into them. “I don’t want that to be the last time we fuck.”

Blaine’s resolve breaks. In one swift motion, Blaine’s hand is at the back of Kurt’s neck, drawing him in for a heavy and needy kiss.

#s.o. writes things #head over feet #klaine #klaine fic #i just couldn't wait to get this out to you guys #happy reading!#i know better than to post on fridays - but here we are

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hangovercurse · 4 years ago

Text

Our Song

At the last show of his tour, Kells invites you on stage for a duet, but it turns into a bit more than that.

Request: “Can you do one where the reader and Colson both are music artist. I know you're doing this with "The Thing We Can't Tell Pete about. But with this one they have been dating for a while and while they are in the middle of the song Colson decides to announce they're dating and gives her a kiss in front of the crowd, and the reader is just in shock. However it ends it up to you. Love ya!!!!!!!!”

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: implied smut/ mentions of sex, cursing

A/N: So, I used my own lyrics in here because why not (sue me I guess)

Word Count: 2326

The last two months had been absolute hell on Earth. Yes, you loved your job. Recording your third studio album was exciting but being busy all the time was exhausting. On top of that, your boyfriend being off on tour meant you hadn’t seen him in person in two months, which was driving you even more insane.

It also meant you hadn’t had sex in almost two months.

You’d called each other every night, even if you were both drunk off your asses or faded beyond belief. It had become your routine; get home from the studio, grab something to eat, then hop into the bath and facetime your blond boyfriend.

Tonight, was no exception, but the energy on the call was different. Colson was coming home tomorrow. Granted, he would be going straight to the venue for his concert, but he’d be here.

“You’re still coming tomorrow, right princess?” He asked, a joint hanging from his lips.

You smiled, nodding, “I haven’t seen you in two months. If I’m not there, you should assume I’m dead.”

He chuckled, “good.” He hesitated before continuing, “I was thinking you could perform with me. We haven’t performed White Sea in like a year.”

You bit your lip at the thought of performing with him again. He was right, after you’d finished live performance promo for the song, neither of you had performed it together. “Yeah, I’m down.”

The song was the first one you’d written together; it was actually the whole reason you’d met. “You don’t think people will get suspicious though? I mean, people are already catching on. I feel like performing it out of the blue would add fire to the flames.”

He thought about it, the wheels turning in his head. “I think it’ll be fine. Besides, it’s not exactly a secret.”

You nodded, “I know, we’ve just never really talked about telling people.” The last two words came out softer than you had intended.

Colson and you had been together for a year and still hadn’t officially told anyone outside of your closest circles. You liked the privacy, and getting the media involved always caused problems. So, you kept it to yourself. People saw you out together, but nothing had been confirmed.

Colson left the conversation there, not having a good answer. You had both agreed a long time ago that if people figured it out or someone slipped up and told you would be okay with it, and you would. You just didn’t think it was a big deal if people knew or not.

He started talking about his day on tour, the crowd he’d played to tonight. You told him about the song you were working on. Eventually he got called away by the boys.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, babe.” He smiled at you through your phone.

You smiled, “You better. I-“ You almost slipped up. Almost said those three words so casually. But you’d caught yourself. “I can’t wait.” You covered.

He gave you a small wave before your screen went back, the sound of the line disconnecting ringing through your bathroom. You put your phone on the floor next to the tub, leaning your head back and sighing.

You don’t know why it worried you so much. You knew you loved him, and you were pretty sure he loved you too. There was just something about saying out loud that scared the hell out of you.

The next day was amazing. As soon as he texted you that he’d gotten to the venue, you were rushing to meet him there. When you stepped into the green room where he was, he ran up to you and grabbed you by your waist. Your arms went around his neck, legs around his as he lifted you up, burying his face into your shoulder.

“I missed you so much.” He mumbled into your skin. Your hands tangled themselves in his hair, holding him closely.

“I missed you too.” You whispered. He lifted his head up and pressed a deep kiss to your lips as your feet came down to touch the floor again. His lips were so familiar, it felt like the world had shifted back into place when you felt them on yours.

He pulled away, forehead and nose still pressed against yours. Your hands travelled from his neck to his shoulders, rubbing the fabric of his t-shirt. “I didn’t think I was gonna survive another night without you.” You said with a slight giggle, making him laugh.

“Well now you don’t have to worry about that.” He said, pressing a peck to your lips.

Before you could pull him back to your lips, your moment was interrupted. “We get it, you guys are cute. Whatever. Can we get hugs from our favorite girl?” Irv joked, pulling your attention to the group of guys near the couches in the room.

One of the things you loved most about being with Colson was how accepting his friends were of you. Slim and you had bonded over your love of music production and mixing, Baze had taught you some more complicated bass riffs, and Rook was your designated adventure buddy (after Colson, of course). You felt lucky that your boyfriend’s family had taken you in as one of their own.

You ran over to them, giving each of the guys a hug. When you hugged Ashleigh, she whispered in your ear, “don’t ever leave me alone with these lunatics again.” You both giggled at that, leaving the boys confused.

After messing around backstage for a while and catching up with your friends (mostly from the comfort of Colson’s lap), it was time for the guys to perform. You set up your spot side-stage with Ash, Irv, and Andre, excited to see the set.

Before he went on, Colson came over to you and pulled you in for a very giddy kiss. Pre-show Colson was your favorite Colson, except for maybe post-show Colson, only because he was so excitable. Every time you sat show side, he demanded you give him a good luck kiss. No matter who was watching.

Watching him was magical, in fact watching all the boys was magical. The way their passion showed through the music and the performance was something that not many other artists could perfect. You felt like you’d never match their level of performing.

When Colson brought out his acoustic guitar and two bar stools, you were a bit taken aback. Normally his shows were so high energy that he never wanted to sit down, even during the slower songs. It wasn’t really his style.

“I wanted to bring out a very special guest today to help slow this down a bit.” He said to the crowd as they screamed. “I haven’t performed this song in a very long time, but I figured today would be the perfect time to do it.”

He looked over at you, a smile on his face. It finally registered in his mind that he was talking about your song. Luckily, you’d had ears put in at the beginning of the show, so that wasn’t an issue. One of the venue’s techs handed you a microphone and signaled you to go on stage.

Once you came in view of the audience they erupted into another round of cheers, making you smile. Colson met you halfway and pulled you in for a sweaty hug. He led you over to the chairs, letting you sit down while he adjusted his mic stand. “For those of you who don’t know, not that there should be anyone who doesn’t know who this is, but just in case, this is Y/S/N. We wrote this song a little over a year ago today.”

You smiled as he started to strum the familiar intro, the lights dimming just a little bit.

Drownin’ in empty space.

You started singing.

Don’t even know my name

Feels like you’re miles away

Close my eyes, see your face

It’s okay

Rook brought the drum beat in as Colson smiled at you, his verse starting

Yeah

I was drownin’ in this darkness

Feeling like I was so heartless

All these drugs makin things harder

They tried to turn me to a martyr

You loved watching him party on stage, but you loved watching this side of him, too. Completely stripped down and raw. Hearing him rap the words you wrote together made your heart flutter, even if you’d written them so long ago.

I can’t handle shit I’m just a man

I tried to tell ‘em, they don’t understand

Riptide’s pulling me away from land

I couldn’t stand till you reached out your hand

And now I can.

The rest of the music came in, the sounds mixing as you began the chorus.

Drownin’ in empty space

Don’t even my name

Feels like you’re miles away

Close my eyes, see your face

The key raised.

Out on the open sea

Feel your eyes watching me

Wanted to fall asleep

Now I believe.

The music kept playing, but Colson’s rap didn’t enter like it was supposed to. Instead, he just looked at you, a fond smile on his face. You tilted your head, questioning him, but he just placed his guitar on the ground and kept looking at you.

“I just want to let everyone here know, that today is my one-year anniversary with this amazing woman right here.” He said into the mic, causing the audience to burst into screams. Your jaw dropped, eyes widening.

He caught your expression and laughed but kept going. “It wasn’t a secret that we’ve been together, but we’ve been quiet about it. But I mean, like, fuck that shit. When you’re in love you should tell everyone, right?”

You smiled at him, your heart picking up speed. “And Y/N I am so fucking in love with you.”

You looked down, trying to hide the heat on your cheeks and the idiotic grin you were sporting. You had never expected this from him. “Like, seriously, this past year has been the best year of my life. Even when we aren’t together you are the one thing that I look forward to the most, every day. You are one of the best things in my life, and I want everyone to know that.”

During his little monologue he had walked over to your chair and pulled you up into his arms. You nuzzled your face into his bare chest, making him laugh. He pulled the microphone away from you both so it wouldn’t pick up your conversation.

“Hey, look at me.” He said softly and you complied. “I love you.”

You had tears in your eyes as you studied his perfect features, “I love you, too.” You whispered. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while I just…”

“I know, princess.” He smiled, leaning down and pressing your lips together in a sweet, passionate kiss. The audience erupted in applause, cheers, and awes. “Are you gonna say anything?” He asked once you’d pulled away, motioning to the audience with a smile on his face. You shook your head, burying it back in his chest and laughing. He spoke into the microphone, “she got all shy now.”

The crowd laughed with him, shouting supportive comments at you both. “But she said she loves me too so that’s all that matters.” He continued, earning even more cheers.

After the show, Colson came backstage and immediately attached his lips to yours, hands holding you close. You pulled him into one of the unused dressing rooms, mouths never leaving each other. He hoisted you onto the counter, standing in between your legs, and leaned your back against the mirror.

Finally, he released your lips from his, making you whine. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about all this, but after last night I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore. And you just looked so pretty out there that I-“ You cut him off with a kiss, lips moving together slowly.

He chuckled as you pulled away. “Colson, I loved it. I was hella embarrassed because the first time you told me you loved me was in front of thousands of people, but I loved it. And I love you.”

He smiled, pressing a peck to your lips. “How much do you love me?” He asked, slyly.

You raised an eyebrow at him, knowing something was up. “Depends on your next statement.”

A laugh fell from his mouth as he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small rectangular box. “Because I really hope it’s a lot.”

“What are you doing?” You asked him, giggling.

He lifted the lid off of the box to reveal a key with your first initial painted on one side and a C on the other. “You don’t have to, but if you wanted to maybe think about moving in with me, now you have a key.” He smiled as you took the metal in your hands.

You looked up at him with wide eyes, lips open in shock. “So, you’re asking me to move in with you?” You confirmed.

“Only if you want to. But yes.”

You smiled, looking back down to the key and then up to his face before pressing a passionate kiss to his lips. Your arms went around his neck and his hands went to your waist. “Of course, I want to, dummy.” You giggled and reconnected your lips.

“We’re supposed to go out and celebrate the last night of tour tonight, you’re gonna come, right?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“You act like I don’t wanna be around you.” You pushed his chest playfully. “But we might be a couple minutes late.” You smirk.

Colson raised an eyebrow, “oh yeah? And why is that?”

Instead of responding you just giggled and pulled him back into a kiss.

#mgk #mgk imagine #mgk fluff #machine gun kelly #machine gun kelly imagine #Colson baker #colson x reader #colson baker imagine #colson baker fluff #colson imagine

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mooniefics · 4 years ago

Text

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

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fruitcoops · 4 years ago

Note

Could you maybe write a “73 questions with Sirius Black” Vogue one? Or something like that.

Yes! I had never seen these videos before and it was a fun challenge to write. Hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

The house is large, two stories tall and painted a soft gray with white trim around the windows. Holiday lights have yet to be taken down and shine in all colors of the rainbow from the eaves as the camera crew walks up the front steps. The curtains in the window tremble for a moment, then a dog pokes her head through—she is all-black and curious, and looks quite large.

Dorcas Meadowes knocks on the front door; a moment later, it swings open and reveals Sirius Black. “Hey, guys, come on in! You can leave your shoes by the door inside.”

“Thanks, Sirius.” Dorcas kicks off her flats and follows him inside as he sets a dish towel on the end table and leans against it. “How are you today?”

“I’m doing pretty well. Morning practice was productive and I’m feeling good about our upcoming game.”

“We’re here today to ask you 73 rapid-fire questions while you lead us around. Sound good?”

“Sounds good. You can all come inside instead of freezing on the porch,” he laughs, waving them closer. The door shuts with a gentle click.

“First question: on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?”

“Hmmm. A solid seven.”

“Do you have any pets?”

“I do!” Sirius leads them into the other room, where the dog is curled up on the couch below the window; he picks her up and gives her a kiss on the head. “This is Hattie and I love her very much.”

“Cute! If you could do a dramatic love scene in a movie with anyone, who would it be?”

Sirius sets the dog down and thinks for a second. “Aside from my fiancé, I’m going to say James Potter. We would kill it and I don’t think it would be that awkward.”

“What’s the origin of your name?”

“Pretty much my whole family has star-themed names. Sirius is the dog star from Canis Major.”

“Brightest star in the sky, too. What’s one thing people don’t know about you?”

“I’m an introvert. Lots of people assume that I’m super social because of my job, but I’m very quiet in real life.” He walks back out to the entrance and takes the towel off the table, then moves into the kitchen. It’s well-lit and painted a deep, warm red. The countertop is scattered with knickknacks and picture frames—clearly, this is a place people spend a lot of time. Hattie, who followed them in, lays down by the oven with a heavy sigh.

“What’s your wakeup ritual?”

Sirius reaches up and pulls two mugs out of the cupboard. “I wake up around seven am and make coffee while Re is in the shower, then rinse off and get dressed while he makes breakfast. It’s a good system. Want some tea?”

“Sure. What’s your bedtime ritual?”

“I don’t think I have one,” he says as he puts the kettle on and ignites a burner on the stove. “Usually we read or watch a movie, then go up to bed and talk for a while. There’s not a big routine or anything.”

“Sounds nice. What’s your favorite time of day?” Dorcas sits on the other side of the kitchen island while he takes a box of peppermint tea down.

“That’s a tough one. I like the in-between spots, like just after sunrise or dusk. Three in the afternoon is usually pretty chill as well. Does anyone else want a cup?”

There are a few murmurs behind the camera and he takes two more down. “What is one thing no one knows about you?” Dorcas asks.

He raises an eyebrow. “If I told you, everyone would know, and it wouldn’t count.”

“Fair enough. Dream country to visit?”

“Anywhere. I think I want to go to Ireland first, though.” Small wisps of steam begin curling out of the kettle, but it doesn’t whistle.

“Do you ever feel pressure to post things on social media?”

Sirius makes a face. “I used to. Eventually I just got tired of it, you know? The whole point of social media is sharing bits of your life with people and it makes me happy to show off my dog, or Re, or my friends. I post things just for fun now.”

The kettle begins to hiss and he reaches back to turn it off. “Sneakers or skates?”

“Skates.”

“Vintage or new?

“Vintage, especially for t-shirts and sweaters.”

“Who is your biggest role model?”

“Pascal Dumais.” Sirius stops pouring for a moment to look up at the camera. “If you ever get a chance to meet him, listen to what he has to say. You’ll be better for it.”

“Wise words. How do you deal with negativity? Oh, thank you.” Dorcas wraps her hands around the mug and takes a small sip while Sirius passes the other ones to the crew.

“Honestly? I don’t give a shit. It used to really bother me, but I’m happy, I have a job I love, and my family cares about me. Why should I care what people I’ve never met think of me?” He sits on the counter and rests his elbows on his knees, blowing on the hot water.

“What are three things you can’t live without?”

“My dog, Remus, and my family.” There is no hesitation in his voice.

“Not hockey?”

“I’d be devastated if I couldn’t play, sure, but it’s not the central focus of my life anymore.”

“What’s one ingredient you put in everything?”

“Does salt count?” He winces as he takes a drink. “Ugh, burned my tongue. I put salt on a lot of things because I drink so much water that it throws my balance off.”

“What is something you’re completely bored of right now?”

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Gossip columns and tabloids in general.”

Dorcas hums in agreement. “What’s your biggest fear in life?”

“Losing my loved ones.”

“Window or aisle seat?”

“Window. Anyone walking by always steps on my foot or hits my elbow if I’m in the aisle. Plus, I get a good view and an easy nap spot.”

“What’s your current TV obsession?”

“Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I’m watching for the third time already.” He shakes his head. “It’s just so good.”

“Favorite app?”

He takes a second to think. “Spotify.”

“Secret talent?”

Sirius looks at her over the rim over his cup. “This is going to shock you. Ready?”

“Ready.”

“Hockey.”

“You’re the worst.” Despite her words, Dorcas smiles. “What the most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?”

“Uh, probably going to Europe with some of the guys last year. We had a lot of fun, but it was crazy.”

“I can imagine it was. How would you define yourself in three words?”

“Tall, dark, and handsome.”

“And apparently not humble,” Dorcas teases. “Favorite piece of clothing?”

“Hoodies.”

“Clothing item everyone should have?”

“Hoodies.”

A door opens behind them and the camera turns; Remus walks out of the basement, covered in sweat as he wipes his forehead with the hem of his shirt and holds his skates in his other hand. “Baby, have you seen…” he trails off when he sees the group of people in the kitchen. Hattie’s tail thumps on the floor. “Um. Hello.”

“Hey, Remus, how are you doing?” Dorcas asks mildly.

The camera pans out to catch both Sirius, who is laughing quietly, and Remus, who flushes pink. “I’m good. I thought you were coming at ten?”

“It’s ten-thirty, sweetheart,” Sirius says, hiding his smile in his tea.

Remus glances at the clock before giving an awkward nod and walking toward the stairs. “I guess I’ll take a shower, then. Sorry about that. Uh, carry on.”

“What’s a superpower you would want?” Dorcas asks as soon as he disappears.

Sirius shakes his head with a grin. “Uh, teleportation. That would be really cool.”

“What’s inspiring you in life right now?”

“Ah, une grande question.” He thinks, then tilts his head toward the staircase. “Moments like that. And the Stanley Cup, of course.” He reaches back and knocks on the wooden cupboard.

“What cause is closest to your heart?”

“LGBT+ rights, especially trans rights. I’m privileged enough to have a platform and I intend to be loud as hell about that.”

“Good.” Dorcas sets her almost-empty mug on the table. “What’s one thing you’d say to your teenage self?”

Sirius lets out a long breath and drums his hands on the light blue ceramic of his cup. “I would say…it gets better. It really, really does. You’re going to feel super shitty for just a little bit longer, but then I promise you will be so incredibly happy that you wake up every morning and it hits you all over again.”

Dorcas nods, and the kitchen is quiet for a moment. “What’s a book that everyone should read?”

“The Hobbit, by J.R.R Tolkien.”

“What would you like to be remembered for?”

“This is going to sound so corny, but I want to be remembered for just being a good person.”

“That’s not corny. How do you define beauty?”

“Remus Lupin.”

“That’s corny,” she laughs, making him smile. “What do you love most about your body?”

“I’m a big guy, which can be a little bit intimidating, but it means I give really great hugs. I’m sure everyone saw the video that went around a while ago.”

“Cap Cuddles?”

He snorts. “Right. You’ve got Finn O’Hara to thank for that.”

“In your opinion, what’s the best way to take a rest or decompress?”

“Being alone,” Sirius says. “There is literally nothing better than getting home and sitting down with a book or something while I can hear Re doing his own thing and Hattie’s napping. It’s one of my favorite parts of the afternoon.”

“That’s the most introverted thing you’ve ever said.” Dorcas grins and finishes her tea just as a faint beeping noise begins in another room. “What’s your favorite way to experience art?”

“Through music, for sure.” He slides off the counter and walks down the hall, leading them toward the laundry room. He gives the camera crew a look as he pulls dry clothes out of the machine and heads back to the living room. “What? Did you think I didn’t do my own laundry?”

“You lost a sock,” Dorcas informs him, picking it off the ground and laying it on top of his head.

“Thanks, D.”

“What question do people ask that you wish they wouldn’t?”

“Lots of people have asked me when I decided to be gay, which is wrong on so many levels.”

“If you could master one instrument, what would it be?”

“Guitar or piano.” He dumps the load of laundry on the couch and opens the back door, holding it for the crew as they walk out into the sunshine. Hattie weaves through their legs and disappears into the bushes along the back.

“I might have to take your dog home with me. If you had a tattoo, where would it be?”

Sirius mock-glares at her. “Let me have my girl! Um, I would love to have a tattoo somewhere on my arm.”

“This might be a hard one. Dolphins or koalas?”

“Oh, that is hard. Probably dolphins. The ocean is terrifying but those little guys are just having a blast.”

“What’s the best gift you’ve ever received?” Dorcas asks as he picks up a tennis ball and throws it across the yard. Hattie emerges from the bushes and races after it in a blur of black fur.

“An engagement ring.”

“Yeah, it was.” Remus walks into the backyard and kisses Sirius’ cheek before bending down to catch Hattie in his arms. His hair is still damp from the shower. “Hello, sweet girl!”

“Who’s your favorite musician?”

“Queen.” Sirius laughs at her surprised look. “I’m gay, what did you expect?”

“True. What’s your favorite board game?”

“Monopoly.” Remus and Hattie disappear from the frame, but the bouncing sound of the tennis ball creates some background noise and Sirius watches them for a moment with pure affection.

“Favorite color?”

“Blue.”

“Least favorite color?”

“Orange.”

“Bowties or knot ties?”

He frowns. “Don’t they all have knots?”

“Smartass.”

“Yep! Uh, regular ties.”

“Bowties are superior!” Remus calls.

“Get your own questions!” Sirius laughs.

“Going off your music answers: records or CDs?”

“I don’t own a lot of records, so I’m going to have to go with CDs. I love the way vinyl sounds, though.” His eyes widen as he looks to the side. “Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Remus wheezes. “I didn’t need those ribs anyway.”

“For the viewers, the dog just football-tackled him into the grass,” Sirius says, and Dorcas snorts.

“Your hair is famously luscious. Blow-dry or air-dry?”

“Air dry.”

“Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee, but tea is nice in the evenings.”

“What’s the weirdest word in the English language?”

Sirius laughs. “There are so many. Uh, ‘jeez’ is the one that comes to mind first.”

“What about the French language?”

“Oiseaux,” he says in a crisp accent. “It means ‘birds’, and you pronounce about three of the actual letters.”

“Good to know. Do you prefer dark chocolate or milk chocolate?”

“Dark chocolate.”

“Stairs or elevators?”

“Elevators. I don’t want to walk up three floors after playing hockey for two and a half hours.”

“Summer or winter?”

Sirius bites his lip in thought as they walk around the yard, where small flowers line the fence in beds and colorful pots. “I love summer because I have actual free time to be with my friends, but winter is hockey season. I don’t know, next question.”

“What’s a dessert you don’t like?”

“I’m not a huge fan of caramel. It’s too sticky.”

“A skill you’re working on mastering?”

“Will you ban me from more interviews if I say hockey?”

“Yes.”

“In that case, I’m working on keeping plants alive, as you can probably see.” He taps the nearest flowerpot gently with his foot; it has ‘Harry’ painted across it in sloppy blue letters. “My godson made that for my birthday.”

“What’s the best thing to happen to you today?”

“This, for sure,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen you and Marley in ages.”

“We missed you, too. What’s the worst thing that happened to you today?”

He pouts slightly. “Burning my tongue on tea.”

“Hugs or kisses?”

“Hugs! Though I’ll accept kisses from a few very specific people.”

“Do you have a favorite smell?”

He pauses and cranes his neck to look behind the cameras. “Re?”

“Yeah?”

“What shampoo do you use?”

“Uhhh…” There’s a moment of quiet. “It’s something with lavender, I think.”

Sirius turns back to Dorcas. “Something with lavender.”

“How specific,” she laughs. “What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?”

He smiles to himself. “There was a young woman, maybe sixteen or seventeen, that came to one of the games earlier this season. I saw her standing with a puck and went over, and while I was signing it she looks at me and says, ‘you are exactly what I wish my older brother was like’. Turns out, she was bisexual and her brother wasn’t super accepting of her. That was…” He shakes his head. “That meant the world to me. I’ll never forget it.”

“You’ve definitely made a big impact on the community,” Dorcas agrees. “What’s the last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?”

“I watched ‘Soul’ the other night and almost had to pause it at one point to pull myself together.”

“Do you prefer animated movies or live-action?”

“Animated, mostly because I wasn’t allowed to watch Disney movies as a kid, so I’ve been catching up as an adult and they rock.”

“What’s your nerdiest quality?

“I love watching documentaries.”

“Sweet or savory?” The back door creaks a bit as they walk back inside and the camera catches a few frames of Hattie and Remus running around the yard together.

“Sweet.”

“In ten years, you have a daughter. What age do you let her date?”

Sirius gives Dorcas a look. “Whenever she wants to. I’m going to impose curfews and stuff, but I’m the last person on the planet to police her love life.”

“Good answer. What’s a song you can listen to on repeat?”

“Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen. Absolute banger.”

“If you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be?”

“Arthur Weasley,” he says after a moment. “I would love to know what it feels like to get up in the morning and know you’re about to spend another day wrangling our team. It’s a miracle he hasn’t killed us all with his clipboard.”

“How do you know you’re in love?”

“Oh.” Sirius blinks at her in surprise at the sudden topic change. “Well, for me, I think it’s just…being comfortable around someone. Being able to spend time with them without saying anything and knowing you’re safe, no matter what. It’s the best feeling in the world.”

“What are you most excited about at this time in your life?”

A slight smile crinkles his eyes. “Getting married. That’s going to be awesome.”

“Who is your go-to for having a good laugh?”

“James Potter. He’s the best, and I love him.”

“Last question,” Dorcas says, sliding her list into her pocket. “Many LGBT+ people, especially teenagers, have spoken about how you’re an inspiration. Any words for them?”

Sirius hums in thought. “First of all, thank you for being so open and welcoming. I would never have expected the sheer force of people’s love to come through like that when so many people were saying horrible things. Second, to any kids out there who need to hear it: I’m proud of you. It takes a lot to be true to yourself and even if you’re still in the closet, you’re just as valid as the rest of us. Stay proud.”

“That’s a wrap.” Dorcas gives him a quick hug that he happily returns. “Thanks for letting us crash your morning, Cap.”

“Any time. Thanks for tuning in to Lion Pride, everyone!”

264 notes · View notes

philtstone · 3 years ago

Note

Listen LISTEN u already KNOW I am nothing if not a HO for the way u write casual intimate touches,,,,,,,,so how about,,,,,,,“don’t want to let go hugs” for,,,,,,drum roll pls,,,,,,,sarah/bucky 👀👀👀

part of this verse and specifically relevant to a plot point in "clover". shoutout to @firstelevens for gently coaxing me through the unreasonable volume of nerves i experienced posting this. there be angst ahead. im a little sorry in advance

you can also read this on ao3 :)

Sarah's been thinking of her mother all afternoon.

She's not sure why. Maybe because her back and feet ache, that dull tiredness that comes from a long week of work. Or maybe because the house is so full. People are moving in and out through the porch and the living room and the kitchen and the backyard. Her mother always ran a full house. If there was a person needing something, they were let in through the front door. Sarah's long come to realize that the most prevalent need was for a friend, even if it was wrapped up in an ask to borrow plastic tablecloths or extra sugar or get a recipe they just couldn't crack.

So she's got her mom on her mind. There's a tenderness to her remembering. Also a fragility. Her mother, who had given up college not because of some oppressive social tragedy but because she had wanted to. Her mother, halfway pregnant without meaning to be and jumping feet first into a new business she didn't know much about running, her husband’s hand held firmly in her own. There's a reason there used to be about four years difference between she and Sam. More or less nullified now, but anyway. Sarah wonders what her mother had felt, in that moment, filled with love for the life she had but faced with the unchangeable reality of what she never was given to mourn the loss of in the first place.

Sarah is thinking of all this when she enters the house, laughing at some nonsense Sheira's spouting. Sheira always spouts nonsense when tipsy on coolers, and she's outside on the porch now, perched in her husband's lap and hooting her head off at Mr. Liu's whacky stories. Annette's in the backyard, mediating an age-old debate between her mother and Ms. Gloria regarding some brand of seasoning, and Annette’s boyfriend's talking knitting patterns with Carlos by the landing floor bathroom.

Sheira protests Sarah's leaving, but it’s loose, distracted, the way comfortable friendship can be at this hour and with the knowledge you're all home.

"No, I'm just gettin' some water –” Sarah’s saying. “I'll be right back, you keep on making a fool of yourself, girl."

"Now Sarah, you know my wife's always foolin'."

"Mr. Langston you better keep your thoughts to yourself, or I'm leavin' this lap. Go on, Sam honey, deal the next hand. Look at this. I’m bettin’ on him, ‘cause Captain America won’t cheat."

“Yeah, but old Sammy will.”

“Aw you know my poker face ain’t worth a damn, Lou, c’mon –”

Sam's losing at cards to some of the dock guys. He's got a full smile on, one that he's shot over at her every so often since about four thirty when she passed him by in the kitchen. It's closer to eight now. They've got half the street over -- Sarah's not sure how it happened, but one thing led to another. Maybe it's 'cause Sam's home. It's close to the end of the summer, wind turning, kids feeling some kind of way about going back to school. Cass has been babbling all week about how he's gonna have to start thinking of college next year -- a whole three hundred and sixty-five days from now. AJ is already scandalized on his behalf.

Just now, the kids are running up and down through the house. She heard something, an hour or so ago, about a game of cops and robbers tangled up in a Tik Tok challenge Sarah's had just enough Mom Bandwidth to declare acceptable for consumption – vaguely, she's aware that Bucky's been corralling 'em, and that is enough for her. It's nice and cool indoors when she slips through the screen door and pads her way toward the kitchen. Laughter filters in through the windows from all corners of the place. There's music playing. There's a kind of loving in the air. Sometimes, Sarah thinks she tricks herself into not savoring it as much as she should.

You're so practical, Mama, Cass told her a few months ago, grave in the kitchen while he helped her with the overfull garbage bags. I think you run our house a sorta way and it makes everyone forget that's not just how things are, like, everywhere.

Sarah has to stop her pilgrimage because Elling Clancy's string bean self has just raced patter-footed past her, holding an old nerf gun with her hair in its customary tangled nest and hollering something about Sugar shorin' up their defenses.

"Elling! Don't be slipping on my hardwood and bustin' your head open now!"

"No Ms. W!"

She is about to move on when she hears the much quieter murmur of voices coming in through the living room. Sarah pauses, leaning back, and looks in through the door. She feels her whole self soften, one hand coming up to flutter against the slipping strap of her sundress.

Bucky is with little Nina Calleigh by the foot of the couch. Sarah's sure Nina must have tired out from the older kids' game, needed a rest or a break or a distraction; there's a bent copy of The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe open but abandoned on the floor by their legs, and one of AJ's old dinosaur figurines discarded by what must be Bucky's half-finished glass of sweet tea. They're engrossed in something, he and Nina, heads bent low together over it, a secret little conversation all of their own. At four, Nina's started loving those. She's determined to communicate everything either as a yell or a lispy whisper in your ear, both done with equal force and conviction. Doesn't help that her older sister is Sugar, and Sugar sees it her God-given duty to full body slam the whole world at any given opportunity.

Bucky moves his arms, lifting Nina up from her place on the floor to prop her against his chest. For the first time Sarah spots Alpine as a raggedy little ball of white in his lap, one of her tiny white feet poking out over the strong bend of his knee. Nina wants to cuddle with the cat, Sarah realizes, but keeps grabbing at her with abrupt movements and getting scared when Alpine startles.

"Gentle, we gotta be gentle," Sarah hears, feeling her lips twitch up into a small smile when it's followed by Nina's protesting,

"But I am been' gentle."

"'Kay, give me your hand. See? Like this." Together, they pet the cat once, Nina's chubby brown hand held delicately under the smooth metal plates of Bucky's fingers. "She doesn't get scared like that."

"Oooh," says Nina, pretty and wide-eyed, small bubbly voice filled with wonder. "She's so sof'."

"You wanna pet her again?"

"Yah! Can I pet her the whole night?"

Sarah can’t tell what it is. The way he is holding her, maybe, bracketed carefully upright but with enough space that she can be her own little person as she overbalances in the generous movements that four-year-olds so favour. Or the look in his eye, an open, selfless thing with no one around but Nina to see it, not quite adoring because he would never allow himself that with a child that wasn’t Sarah’s. This is something she has come to learn about him, has had to work to understand. But God, she feels it, that look, right in the center of her own chest. She watches him continue the conversation, listening intently to Nina’s small declarations, one hand reflexively coming up to cup the back of her head and tuck back the loose, flyaway curls haloing around her dimpled cheeks. Something sweet, aching, and long-forgotten wells up from a deep place in Sarah’s heart.

She makes it the rest of the way to the kitchen, slides down against the cabinets beneath the sink. By the time she has wrapped her arms around herself her cheeks are already wet.

She doesn't really know why she is crying. She tucks her hands around her mouth, tries to keep it quiet. It's not too hard at first; it's a quiet emotion that she's feeling. She pulls her knees up, and closes her eyes as tightly as she can, like maybe it will stop that way.

Footsteps creak on the kitchen landing and then she feels a warm body beside her. Her brother’s wide familiar hands cup her shoulders like he used to do when they were kids.

"Hey now," Sam says, somewhere above her.

"How'd you know I was gonna be here?" Sarah mumbles, face still covered, not without a touch of frustration.

"I'd like to think I know my sister."

"Shit," Sarah says, sounding far more watery than she means.

"You've had this look on your face all afternoon," Sam says, more gently than Sarah expects. "Been keepin' my eye out. You need a minute?"

Cass is nearing the end of high school, AJ about to start it, both turning into beautiful young men. She's so much older -- different body, different heart, different mind. Last week she heard on the news about another Black child in Baltimore, hurt by the people meant to protect her, and felt some measure of relief at her own decisions.

"I'm bein' so silly," Sarah whispers. She can feel Sam waiting on her, listening. "I don't know what's wrong with me, Sam. I don't know --"

She knows – he’s always been good with them. Even at his lowest points, those early days he’d visited, she had noticed. With her own boys, and their friends, and their cousin Lola’s brood last Thanksgiving – and there has been a quiet acceptance to it on both their parts, that this is it. They’re happy. Sarah is so overwhelmingly, achingly happy sometimes, at the fullness of the life she’s fought tooth and nail to build.

"I don't -- can you be grateful, like so grateful, I don't even know -- but there is a part of your heart that breaks anyways, I, Sam --"

"Oh," Sam says. "Oh, Sarah, yeah, of course. What happened?"

"Nothing," Sarah says, which is not a lie, and begins to cry in earnest. Sam wraps her up in a hug. She can still hear the sounds of the party, too-close, like it’s just outside the kitchen door waiting to jump in.

Sam shifts against her and Sarah realizes there is another presence pausing at the doorway. A child’s small voice asks a question. She stills, trembling, unable to calm herself. There is a rustle of movement, then toddler feet against Sarah's cracked laminate tiles.

"Hey bubba. You know where Cass is?"

"Yah. He’s playin’ in the backyard."

"Can you go hang out with him a minute?"

"'Kay."

"Okay. Thank you."

Three swift footsteps, and then he is there beside her.

"What --"

"Hey, hey, it's okay.” Sam, firm and reassuring. “She's fine."

"Sarah." There's quiet urgency to it. "Are you hurt anywhere? What happened?"

"She's just feelin' a little fragile right now," she hears Sam say, quiet above her.

“What …”

Sarah looks up, chest gasping, feeling a bit cracked open at the edges. Now that she has started crying, she does not know how to stop. It's always been like this. She hates crying, she remembers, ‘cause it’s always been like this.

Bucky is looking at her intently, brows drawn together in a soft shape, mouth parted slightly in the middle.

"Hey," he says softly, when she meets his eye. She is suddenly desperate to explain herself. She lets go of Sam, grabs onto him, brings her hands to his face. She presses one to either side and pushes her thumbs uncoordinated over the warm shell of one ear and the high curve of a cheekbone, feeling as though if she does not touch him she will fall apart.

"I love you," Sarah says, breath stuttering with the force of it. She is still crying, but she's moved beyond caring now. "I love you. I love you so much, I don't say it enough, but I --"

"Okay," Bucky says quietly, like he understands. "Okay." Then he folds her into a hug, letting her face press against his heart, beneath his chin. It’s not tight, not like the kind that squeezes, but there’s an unquestionable firmness to it. She can feel him press his mouth against the top of her head over the uneven crown of her braids. He is steady and present. She's pulled into his lap. She doesn't want to let go. She doesn't know what to do with all the grief that's so abruptly welled up inside of her, tangled into something beyond words. She can feel the murmur of some exchange above her head, and then the creak of Sam's feet leaving. They sit there for another minute, and Bucky is warm and solid and thrumming around her, and Sarah cries.

When he eventually shifts beneath her, Sarah operates on instinct and tightens her hold, nails digging into the hard curve of his shoulder blade. There is a beat, like he is making a decision, then Sarah feels a slight tensing of muscle, and the small swoop in her belly as she is lifted easily into the air.

She keeps her face pressed against the soft t-shirt covering his shoulder as Bucky walks them quietly from the kitchen into the living room, then beyond, to the den. The quiet click of the door shuts behind them, and Sarah is placed gently down on the rusty orange cover of the daybed, before he climbs up behind her on sock-clad feet and pulls her to his chest. He wraps himself around her from behind -- arms solid around her torso, knees bracketing her wide hips where her skirt has crumpled up around her thighs. He leans back against the wall, takes Sarah with him, and keeps them there, pressed together, only breathing steadily in the mundane fresh-laundry smell of the room.

The change in location helps her recalibrate. It's been so long since he’s stayed in here, Sarah thinks. Bucky’s a tidy creature by nature and habit, so he hasn’t really left much clutter behind. His books are on the shelf though, now, by her filing cabinet of tax stuff and the laptop Sam keeps at the house. Beside that is the small stack of college brochures she knows he’s collected in case Cass’s anxieties flair up again. Meticulous, like she said; over-prepared. Sarah has dealt with the hard press of survival by becoming a crisis-to-crisis kinda person. She’s always joked that there’s someone in her corner, throwing her in with Bucky and his compulsive twelve-step contingency plans.

She can hear a quiet echo of kids' laughter through the window, out into the backyard.

"Sarah," he says quietly, after a while. "I love you too."

"I know that," Sarah says. Her voice is stronger now, but raw. She looks down, rubs her thumb over the strap of his watch.

"You tell me you love me all the time." She stays quiet. “What’s going on?”

It is hard to explain. For many reasons, but foremost, because she doesn’t know if she can do it in a way that leaves him forgiving of himself.

“I think I had to grieve a little,” Sarah says.

He shifts around her, then runs his hands down her arm. Again, it is a movement light but unquestionably firm, and present. She can feel him press a kiss to her neck.

“Okay,” he says, and does not ask further.

They will go back out in a bit, she thinks, and be full of love for the life they have again. But in a minute, in a minute.

30 notes · View notes

tamagoincident · 3 years ago

Photo

To Lure a Bird

arthur morgan x reader

summary: The Van der Linde Gang plans to rob a train, too bad you hit it first. You, being the reasonable person you are, coerce rough-looking men to run a job with you in exchange for the stolen money, and everyone gets more than they bargained for.

chapter: 1/10

link: AO3

Chapter One - A Mutual Enemy

On the evening you first heard of the Van der Linde Gang’s presence in Valentine, you stood at the bar of Smithfield's Saloon disguised in men’s clothing. Not a typical Friday for you, as you tried not to make it a habit of sticking around places where reckless men became more reckless the further they disappeared into their cups. But years ago you’d helped the bartender, a giant man named Ernest, drum up enough money to pay off his debtors, and he held you in the highest of regards ever since. It was the only place you could drink without being disturbed. Ernest made sure of that.

“What’ll it be, the usual?” he winked at you, his large hands already reaching toward the whiskey.

You smiled and nodded.

“I have information you might want to hear,” he continued, pouring the liquor into a glass and sliding it towards you. You caught it easily.

“Oh?”

“There was a young lady here last night. Overheard her talkin’ to some fancy pants New Yorker who kept braggin’ ‘bout the luxury train he’ll be taking back to the North. She seemed awfully intrigued,” Ernest said. “And get this, it weren’t the only instance I’d seen her, neither. Few days ago she’d been traipsin’ around the outskirts of Valentine with a bunch of scary lookin’ out-of-towners.”

“Figure they’re planning on robbing the train?”

Ernest shrugged. “It’s easy pickin’. You know how naïve high society can be.”

Maybe easy enough for a one-person job, if done quickly and with care. You’d only robbed a train once with two people you used to run with. You didn’t run with them anymore. It hurt you to think of it.

You held up your glass for a refill and leaned forward, brimming with interest. “Tell me more about this train.”

—

The train tracks rattled underneath Arthur’s feet.

“Get movin’,” he said to Sean, pointing towards the trees hidden in the darkness. Arthur climbed atop the wagon they’d rode in on and placed in the middle of the tracks, which bore five hundred gallons of oil. He widened his stance for balance and pulled a bandana over his mouth and nose. “Here she comes.”

Arthur squinted against the blinding brightness of the incoming headlight, cocking his rifle as it approached. The train’s horn bellowed into the night.

It saw him. Good.

It came to a hissing and screeching halt. A uniformed man stormed out from the front cab. “What's goin' on here? What's—aw hell,” the engineer wailed, kicking the dirt underneath his feet. “Not again! Gettin’ real tired of this shit.” Behind him, a shadow of blurred movement. Charles, ready to strike him unconscious.

Arthur jumped off the wagon. “Hold it!” he yelled to Charles, who paused his assault and instead restrained the man with a pistol aimed at his head. “What d’you mean, ‘Not again?’”

“If y’all are trying to rob us, we’ve already been hit,” he wheezed.

“You’re bluffin’.”

“You and your boys are more than welcome to board and check. Reckon it’s a waste of time though.”

Arthur swore. “Let him go, Mr. S.”

Charles let go. The engineer stumbled forward, sputtering and coughing. In between heavy breaths he said, “Happened near the Heartlands. Strange feller in a mask robbed us blind and then pointed a shotgun at me, gruntin’ at me to start the engine or he’ll call for his gang to kill everyone on board.”

“Why in God’s name would he do that?” Arthur said.

“Beats me. But now that I think of it, he was probably expecting y’all. Here, he gave me this—” he moved to reach into his coat pocket, but ceased upon the chorus of rifles cocking. Sean and John had appeared to find what the holdup was.

“Don’t move a goddamn muscle,” Arthur growled. “Mr. S., if you could kindly grab whatever’s in that fool’s pocket.”

Charles complied, plucking out a wad of paper. He handed it to Sean, who read aloud:

Don’t want the loot, only your attention.

Have your lady informant go back to the saloon and talk to the bartender.

He’ll tell you where to find me.

Cause any trouble and you won’t see a cent.

Sean laughed bitterly, waving the note in the air. “Got us good, didn't he?”

“Give me that, you idiot.” Arthur snatched the note and tilted the lettering towards the train's headlight. “Goddamn it—”

A bullet whizzed by Arthur’s head. The engineer dove to the ground for safety.

“Get on your horses!” Arthur yelled to the gang and whistled. Once in the saddle, he spurred the horse on and rode hard into the trees, past the storm of bullets, and evaded capture.

He was the last to arrive back at camp, after making sure he hadn’t been followed. He passed Dutch’s closed tent and found Sean blackout drunk near the fire. John sat close by, clearly on the same trajectory as the Irishman, with the amount of empty beer bottles at his feet. Arthur cleared his throat. “Where’s Charles?”

John glanced up, eyes bleary and lined with red. In the firelight he looked small and exhausted. “Asleep.”

“You should be too.”

“Well, I ain’t,” John mumbled tipping the beer to his lips and draining it. He tossed the bottle aside with a crash.

“Need me to tuck you in Marston? How ‘bout a bedtime story?”

“Real funny, Arthur."

Arthur sat down across from John, allowing the sound of crickets and snuffling horses to fill the silence between them. When he spoke, his tone was softer. “Don’t think I’ve seen you this shaken. Not even when you was freezin’ your ass off after them wolves got to you.”

John’s gaze dropped to his lap. “I’m a bit rattled, s’all. I got a bad feelin’, Arthur.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t you think the law showed up a little too fast?”

“Maybe,” Arthur said. “I’m more curious about the son-of-a-bitch who knew we was gonna rob that train.” He turned, pulling the note he’d stashed into his saddlebag and brandishing it.

“See? You’re worried too. S’not just me.”

“I’m not worried,” Arthur cast the notion aside. No use in admitting to being worried unless there was really something to lose sleep over, especially in front of John, who looked like he was fixing for an excuse to leave again. Arthur didn’t want to be the person to give him one. He would gladly take a bullet before he watched Abigail’s face twist back into sorrow and disappointment on account of John flying the coop.

“We gonna be okay, Arthur?” John asks.

“Can’t tell the future anymore than you can, Marston,” Arthur said, crumpling the note in his fist. “What we can do is find the bastard who pulled the wool over our eyes, and deal with the rest as it comes along. I’ll talk to Mary-Beth tomorrow. Ask her to go back up to the saloon.”

John watched as Arthur tossed the paper into the fire, the edges curling into black.

—

You waited across the tracks from the abandoned trading post in Roanoke Ridge, taking shelter behind a sturdy tree (you’d almost hid behind one crawling with poison ivy vines, what a sight that would have been). The instructions you’d given Ernest to pass on had been clear: Whoever is sent must be on time and arrive alone. You checked your pocket watch. Already a half hour late. Out of desperation you remained a few minutes longer. The sun was almost at its peak in the sky, and you were getting hot with your scarf obscuring the lower half of your face. You cursed yourself for wearing such bulky trousers and long sleeves.

In your mind, the heist had been preferable to wasting away in the heat. With a little theater and luck, you managed to rob the train heading north. You still couldn’t believe your good fortune. Keeping your voice low and husky, the passengers and engineer had mistaken you for some hardened outlaw. You’d threatened them with your non-existent gang that was supposedly trailing close behind. In reality, the only thing riding alongside the train was the horse you’d borrowed from Ernest.

You scanned the landscape with binoculars, on the precipice of calling it a day, when you saw a pair of figures ascend the hill behind the dilapidated structure. The taller of the two was wearing a fading grey shirt that you imagined was once white, which stretched across his broad shoulders. He staked a far contrast to the companion at his left, a leaner man with dark hair that extended past a deep scar on his cheek. Both looked tough and mean. Exactly the type of men you’d hoped for.

Though two against one, the odds weren’t good if things went south.

You dropped the binoculars and reached for your rifle. Steadying yourself, you squinted through the scope, drifting down the length of their bodies until their dusty leather boots came into view. You cocked the gun, exhaled, and took the shot, aiming inches away from them.

“Shit!”

“Thought I’d said to come alone,” you called out. “If one of you gentlemen doesn’t get going, the next two bullets will be right in the forehead.”

“Jesus Christ,” the dark-haired man yelped. “Is that a woman shooting at us?”

“Woman or not, doesn’t change the fact she’s got a goddamn rifle!” the other fired back. “Alright, miss, my friend here is gonna get on his horse and leave. Ain’t that right, Marston?”

“Rode all the way out here for nothin’,'' he complained loudly and whistled. When his horse came around, he placed his foot in the stirrups and swung his leg over the saddle. “If you ain’t back by sundown, I’ll come lookin’ for you, Arthur. Hear that, lady?”

Arthur waved a dismissive hand. You waited until the horse disappeared behind the hills before coming out from the brush. At this distance, you could discern more of his features. The first of which you noticed were bright blue eyes that writers and painters alike had mused over for centuries.

He directed them at you. “There,” he said. “Happy?”

You lowered your rifle. “We’re off to a poor start, I’m afraid.”

“Don’t want no trouble. Just didn’t know what we was walkin’ into,” he said, moving closer, hands up slightly as if to not appear threatening. “You were real vague in that note of yours.”

You reaffirmed your grip on your rifle. “That’s close enough,” you said. Any closer and he’d eclipse you, your neck within snapping distance of those strong hands.

“Then, how about you tell me how this is gonna go?”

In the days leading to this moment, you’d thought of the ways you were going to approach this. Never did you imagine getting this far. “Do you have any idea why I may have invited you here?”

“To gloat, perhaps? About beatin’ us to that train?”

An involuntary upward twitch at the corner of your mouth. “Not quite, sir. I value my time and yours, so I’ll keep it short. I need you.”

Arthur pointed to himself. “You... need me?”

“Yes, you.”

He dipped his head, obscuring whatever expression he was making beneath the brim of his hat. Rubbing his neck, Arthur said, “Can’t imagine why you’d need me, lady. Accountin’ for the fact you don’t even know me.”

“I’ll rephrase. It’s not you I need exactly, it’s somebody like you. And your friend, for that matter.” You paused. “I used to have partners, too. One is dead, the other is in need of rescue. She was kidnapped. I want to hire you to help get her back.”

“Why not go to the sheriff? Seems a hell of a lot easier than getting up to all this trouble.”

“The sheriff?” you scoffed. “You really think he’d risk himself and his men to help me save a working girl from outlaws? Most likely he’d look into my background, and then I’d be arrested before I could even blink.”

“So all we gotta do is save your friend from her kidnappers and what, you’ll pay us?”

“You’ll get the money from the train, and I’ll throw in seventy dollars on top of that,” you said.

“What’s the catch?”

“Pardon me?”

“The catch,” Arthur repeated. “Seems too easy.”

“Didn’t say it’d be easy. Are you familiar with the O’Driscoll Boys?”

A spark of recognition. He was, in fact, familiar. “Yeah, I heard of ‘em. Your friend Emma… them boys captured her?”

You nodded. “A former client of hers runs with that gang. He found us in a hotel room, shot Henry, and knocked me out. When I came to, Emma was gone, and I was alone.”

“Under ordinary circumstances, I’d be glad to help,” he said. “You see, there’s someone I’d need to run this by and he’s already got it out for their leader, Colm O’Driscoll. This’d be the perfect excuse for him to do something goddamn stupid.”

“Please. If you’re familiar with them, you can imagine how awful it must be for her. I’ll even give you half the money upfront,” you said, decocking your rifle and slipping it back over your shoulder by its leather strap.

“Can’t promise nothin’, but I’ll talk it over with some people tonight. Meet me at that saloon in two days, same time. If it goes in your favor, I’ll take you to see the man who makes all the decisions.”

“Are you going to make me wait again?” you asked.

“You’re the one asking for favors, miss.”

“I’m offering a job.”

Arthur’s lips set into a hard line. “A job that might get us into a world of trouble, adding fuel to a fire that’s been burnin’ for a long time now. Frankly, you don’t know what you’re getting into.”

And because you didn’t want to push your luck, you fell silent. You watched him call for his horse and mount it.

“I’ll be on time,” he mumbled as an afterthought, and rode off in the direction he came.

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