#i already feel like ppl are gonna attack me for this but it's been hard especially now with Simon's month and seeing so many interpretation

[crownedwille]

.

[kadextra]

LETS GO rambling and analysis time now that I finished part one

MAJOR MAJOR spoilers under the cut

KAI

NOOOOO how is he gonna get out??? I will say him as the first to use rising dragon felt extremely deserved, I clapped and cheered during that fight scene. but now he’s stuck in the netherworld with the remaining forbidden five and that’s scary.

I teared up seeing Nya activate her rising dragon style in her grief for him. in the next part she’s gonna find out Jay forgot who she is too… so much heartache for Nya 😞

Really enjoyed Bonzle in these episodes as well, learning about her origin of being a spell, her journey of discovering herself as a person and finding a found family :’) at least she’s with Kai now….

and I’ve felt terrible for Lloyd every episode. him getting slammed by those visions constantly, unexpectedly, even in the middle of a fight which sends him spiraling, that’s so rough :((

It’s obvious they’re a representation of panic attacks/he has developed a canon panic disorder- like Lloyd literally says it at one point. they happen suddenly, give anxious fear about present and future events, he gets scared about having another one so he tries to cope by not sleeping (unhealthy coping method) and is taught later on to try accepting the feelings and ride it out which is a way irl therapists teach. good to see some more exploration of mental health in this show!! I’m glad the other characters are taking notice and trying to help too in the ways they can

…speaking of mental health, Arin has been interesting to watch. he’s reading to me more as an autistic-coded character lately (like that line about not understanding social cues???) and we’ve been seeing lots more negative self-esteem issues and insecurity from him in these episodes. him making mistakes during the training sessions, getting scolded, then closing himself off was hard to watch

How Sora decided to hide the truth about Arin’s “object spinjitzu” that saved the day at the very end so he would feel proud of himself for achieving something hurt my heart. she is such a sweet friend who wants her bestie to be happy and feel proud of himself but like- keeping secrets is gonna have consequences down the line. especially when we all know this is a touchy subject for Arin right now. it’s just painful to see how deeply Arin’s self-worth is tied to what he’s capable of doing, what he can and cannot do for the ninja team. he can’t use elemental power he can’t do spinjitzu properly, he’s already insecure so how would he feel to find out ppl are lying to his face so he can feel happier? he’s a string that’s gonna snap one day and judging from that beatdown moment with Lord Ras it’s not going to be pretty. I sense some sort of villain arc approaching for our son

(someone send these people to therapy they’re so traumatized)

In another news: Cole and Geo gay love! homosexuals! maybe a QPR! I don’t care whatever it is, it’s clear they love each other

And it certainly wouldn’t be a ninjago season without the destiny’s bounty crashing and burning <333 was also nice seeing Jay for 10 seconds again <3333

Now my current question is what’s the source dragon tournament thing Lord Ras’ master is talking about??? tournament?? 👀 it’s basically implied that master is a source dragon or a being that rivals their power

can’t wait for the next part to release agugugsjkhkdbqjdpgsiduggjneosgktnalfhdiqkwkfjfialwkg

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e1 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post bc i've already watched the whole thing. not quite a liveblog bc it's one post and it's probably gonna take me a full hour to get through a 28 minute episode at the rate of pausing and typing i'll be doing

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

anyway, pirate time:

i love how much fun con is having choking on his own blood

dream!stede's extremely teary face right before he takes off running down the beach is doing psychic damage to me

also dream!stede's stupid ridiculous outfit with all the long ribbons and shit...

ed and stede make contact so hard shjfkhsgjkfd the loud OUGH sounds from both of them

also the return of ed's old beard! i didnt expect to see her at all this season, so that was a surprise.

"babe" "love" im tearing out my own hair

stede has yet to learn that ripping ass near your beloved can be a love language

stede is a terrible fucking roommate just deal with wee john's gas in silence like the rest of them. goddamn.

WHO HAS THE OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH TRAMP STAMP. WHO IS THAT.

i like when the background OST is familiar to me lol the little strings when stede starts his letter throwing me back to s1

olu: that–that's the swede the swede: Im the swede roach: he's single ;) me: *pissing my pants with laughter*

also the direct confirmation that the swede literally doesn't have a name. incredible

shjkfhdhfkj the crew encouraging him. stede's "it's okay" and roach "be brave" im CRYINGGGGG

stede doing customer service is something that can be so personal. "reservation?" "eat my fuckin' shit" "right! walk-ins, then" average restaurant experience

the random background guy saying "my favorite hand!" abt getting stabbed in the hand is making me giggle. i love the humor on this show

why does stede have so much shoulder movement going on when he's walking through the bar. whore behavior.

"this is for mom!" sorry but i want to know more abt whatever's going on there

also the purple mohawk. dope.

buttons is so distressed LET HIM RETURN TO THE SEA THESE CONDITIONS ARE INHUMANE

"i know the odds of you finding this are slim but so were the odds of us finding each other in the first place" IM RIPPING OFF MY OWN SKIN

also stede's lil sad hopeful smile after throwing the bottle... i care him

i love how they make this wedding fucking suck so we don't feel too bad abt the whole massacre thing. "the natural condition of humanity is base and vile. it is the obligation of people of standing, such as yourselves, to elevate the common human rabble through the sacred transaction of matrimony" if i was at a wedding and the officiant said that i'd also start killing people probably

yayy murder montage :)

FANG BREAKING THAT GUY'S SPINE OVER HIS KNEE

the whole cake scene is so fucking funny im sorry. i love u jim drawing the line at attacking a shitty wedding. i love u archie who wasn't here for the good old days so you dont really see a problem with how things are. i love u frenchie with ur box in ur brain that u never open again. i love u fang it's gonna get better i swear. i love u frenchie again bc u just took the cake right out of fang's hands while he was fucking sobbing hfjhgkjhdkjkf

I MISS IVAN JUSTICE FOR IVAN. wish they could've said he'd just fucked off somewhere instead of dying but i think that would've raised the question of why hasn't anyone else fucked off since they all seem so miserable

very relieved that stede isn't taking the racist/antisemitic caricature drawings of ed to make like a boyfriend scrapbook like some people were theorizing. would've been overkill if after episode 4 from last season stede still didn't realize that ed hated these sorts of depictions of him.

INTERESTING DETAIL THO the background music in this scene is "a pirate's life" aka the song frenchie sang in the pilot. it's an instrumental version obviously but yeah i recognize that tune

also more cool background ppl with dyed hair man i love this show

zheng yi sao flirting with olu is so good. he deserves it.

how nice of ed to offer his drugs to the crew. sharing is caring.

also it's so funny to me that the thing izzy is tormented by is ed saying "you can't do the job, someone else will" the toe thing's happened three times and apparently that was fine but the thing the show edits together right before izzy breaks down into the most pathetic aheemheem whimpers isn't any of that it's ed threatening to fire him

also they cut ed throwing knives at izzy!! what the hell.

releasing the clip of izzy crying kinda ruined it for me when it came time to watch it in the show bc i watched it several times since it dropped and now seeing it in context i was like "ok i've seen this already fast forward." i mean i didnt fast forward through it but i did kinda zone out bc i've seen this bit already. this post kinda sums up my thoughts on it

"trifling ingrate plan" dshkjfshgdskhfjkhgkjh

"SEMI-CLEAN WATER"

JACKIE CALLING THE SWEDE "BOO CAKES"

"i know that guy we had breakfast together!" "you'll be having a lot of breakfasts-es together" "oh, okay" i fucking love this whole dynamic like i can tell they're writing the swede out of most of the episodes for budget reasons (sorry nat faxon) but by god do they give him such an excellent fucking send-off. can't wait to see him again when he's in his trophy husband number 20 era

roach is upset abt not being able to cook, buttons is tied up so he doesn't go running back to the sea (i assume). stede you are not giving your crew the environment they need to thrive.

olu being an optimist :)

buttons opens his mouth to drink the rain and in the background u can see roach yanking the rope around buttons back fhdjskgfjhgkjfh STEDE YOUR SEA WITCH CANNOT THRIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS

stede tries to make things sound good in his bottle letters to ed but out loud he says his actual insecurities... it's so fucking tasty tho that he thinks ed could be doing better without him and THAT'S why he's been stalling so much. not afraid for his life even a little bit he just assumes he's not wanted. brb i have to cry now

"im sorry if that's a little bit creepy" "you are creepy" in this scene where they're soaked from the rain. ofmd said this prince ricky guys is creepy and wet.

stede's fucking FACE when prince ricky says "you're my hero" his fucking "clearly you dont own an air fryer" face I CANT STAND HIMMMMMM (affectionate)

prince ricky "these rubes" "men of our standing" yeah i cant fucking stand this guy (derogatory) i love how he's barely even in this episode

stede's face when the swede is talking abt how happy he is with jackie... my man believes in love so much im gonna cry

also in what fucking way does the swede owe them a life debt. roach and buttons literally tried to eat him

izzy's "you know me better than anyone knows me and i daresay the same about you" this is literally so false i dont even know where to begin. izzy in e6 being like "if i didnt know any better i'd think maybe ed might possibly maybe be actually enjoying bonnet's company" while ed and stede are giggling and making each other friendship bracelets. this guy doesn't know ed at all.

also i cant get over how izzy wont make eye contact he's like staring blankly into the middle distance delivering these lines so flatly until he goes to say "i have... love for you" and in that moment he looks like he'd rather ed were feeding him more toes.

"im worried about you, we all are" not gonna lie my dude you've had a weird way of showing it thus far. where was all that worry when you told him he was better off dead than wearing a robe and singing songs?? where was that fucking love then?

and NOW izzy wants to talk it through. izzy literally voted to make blackbeard great again and now he wants to give open communication a chance???

lmao there's a limit to how many characters can be in a bulleted list so here's fucking. part two. on the same post:

ed asking everyone if the vibe is poisonous and fang cant stop crying and ed's face is just like "eh good enough" im fdhksgfkjtdkh

anyway ed with a loaded gun under his chin talking to himself is hurting me so fucking much actually. ed my beloved babygirl for whom i would die. this poor traumatized man. yes he is making this workplace toxic as hell but god. GOD. im gonna throw up.

the way ed is so fucking casual about shooting izzy in the leg. just calm and jovial as he promotes frenchie to first mate. stepping over izzy all crumpled on the floor. everything about this is so fucking good. i mean it's horrible for ed and everyone around him but for me watching the show this shit is DELICIOUS. i love when the pirates get violent and unhinged i love when this shit gets fucked up. ed's mental state is so bad right now and it is causing me severe anguish but also it is so tasty. fuck.

anyway frenchie trying to turn down the promotion fhjkghdfjkhf

the cut to the swede performing the husbandly duties is INSANE. COMPLETE TONAL WHIPLASH. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

"fuck those hammies up!" spanish jackie i love you

black pete why are you so fucking loud AND WHY WOULD YOU JIX IT LIKE THAT???

why is prince ricky so small. he's like a full head shorter than stede. also this guy is insufferable i love how stede just fucking abandons him fhjkgdhkdfghkj

"the calf muscle is the most mysterious of alllll the muscles" what the FUCK does that even mean. oh swede i will miss you

NOSE REMOVAL FUCK YES. I LOVE THIS SHOW.

obsessed with the swede playing dumb. the dramatic gasp. "wow, so bad!" fhjsghdkjf

"aint you that soup bitch?" "im the money bitch" i love women.

sfdsjkh spanish jackie being into double-crossing. and slapping the swede's ass on the way out. i love this show

i love how zheng says "this much indigo is worth three times what i paid" while spanish jackie and the husbands are still like, right there. and they just don't hear that bit. incredible.

OUGH the back of jim's weird rope armor looks like a ribcage that's so cool

i love how jim is so fucking bad at telling this story. i love how the monkey's paw comes into it. i love fang asking them to do the voice. i love archie trying to hold back her laughter i love jim and fang giggling together I LOVE THIS SHOW

ed's fucking voice breaking through his whole convo with frenchie. im tearing out my own teeth

HEY DID YOU GUYS KNOW THEY HAVE POST-CREDITS SCENES IN THIS SEASON?????????? WHAT THE HELL

i take back what i said about jim being bad at telling this story their version is so much fucking better. squeaky voice "I pray to you, Dark Lord, to make me real flesh! I want to be real flesh!" IM FUCKING OBSESSED. JIM I WOULD DIE FOR YOU

[yunogf]

lmao i asked bc, as you said in your tags, there was a certain way that it comes across as with how you’re talking about it, so i genuinely wondered bc i was gonna listen to it as well. i’ve been reading plenty of comments about it as well that mostly just lean on “aoty” “soty” “best album ever” and i get that these are (hopefully) exaggerated claims by stans, but i was seriously yet to see a decent comment about its musicality. it’s either about his face in the mv or his voice or the aesthetic of the mv. nothing on the lyricism or the instrumentations or its creativity or depth, so i was hesitant. i get liking it, but i doubt its being “the best”, so when i saw that your comments were the same, i began to wonder if this is another case of exaggerated praises and it’s just... meh at best. nothing new and all that. i am still gonna listen to it on my own ofc but, i guess, since i’m not really his fan, i’m not all excited. amazing debuts usually create tractions of their own, and i don’t hear much for this, but i ain’t judging based on that ofc. anyway, no need to feel attacked. as i said, i was genuinely curious so i asked. i’m well aware that i have ears. i was just genuinely curious about what you actually thought about it, what with your unhinged tags and whatnot. that’s all.

hard to gain traction when ur company announces ur album 2 weeks before it drops!

i was thrown by your wording and i still kind of am but i don't listen to music i don't enjoy and that's across the board for any artist bc....why would i do that lol and maybe ur not in the right circle being a casual fan/non-fan bc I've seen most ppl talk abt the musicality along with everything else 🤔

ik u said u were genuinely asking and i appreciate the explanation but im picking up on an overall unimpressed tone ("hopefully exaggerated" "doubt it being the best" ?) and it feels like u've made up ur mind about jaehyun and his music and ur asking me to give u a reason to change ur mind/care/be impressed but that's not my job ur free to make ur own opinion to me it seems ur going in with a half formed one already but it's music so like it or leave it either way is okay! ur under no obligation!

I'm sorry if being a kpop stan (im assuming...?) has made u feel disillusioned by solo releases tho i understand bc ppl are often overhyped by fans but jaehyun is a music enjoyer who did his homework and worked with artists he himself is a fan of and the payoff is really good music

overall ur ask is very uninformed which if ur not a fan is understandable but as a native english speaker myself listening to an album that is almost entirely in english from a nonnative speaker i have to say the lyrics are very well done they make sense create good metaphor and aren't superficially about balling or making a lot of money (i loathe to hear this often in eng versions of kpop songs lol) and jaehyun is credited as a lyricist on almost every song afaik

the production value is solid "can't get you" has an entire band accompaniment (the trumpet >>>>>) he wrote/worked on "flamin hot lemon" with emotional oranges (one of my fave artists actually <3) so that one is Excellent in every regard esp for a song inspired by cheetos lmao I've said numerous times that none of the songs sound like they were created with the intent of 30 secs going viral on tiktok (a very important differentiation for me) and one of my favorites parts about the title track "smoke" is the outro it's soooo good there's an unexpected bit of piano that he adlibs along with >>>> and the ballad "completely" has a Gorgeous piano backing to it (the lyrics on this one are also so beautiful)

my excitement about the release may have overwhelmed me so i might not have broken down each song beat by beat but rest assured i'm not wasting time on music i don't enjoy

in summation the album is good and on a separate unrelated note he just happens to be really hot ❤️

[lightgriffinsect]

happy 1 year anniversary to fnf vs radi muzix medley

the friend of my friend is my enemy

(Friday Night Funkin')

Words: 2058

Summary:

"Yeah, so uh, it's not just gonna be us here," Void casually brings it up with the two of them over coffee. "Oh?" Sumire's gaze snaps up eagerly. They're still getting used to being in the same room as their idol on a regular basis. Void doesn't blame him. Who wouldn't be, when it's A.C. Void? "Oh?" Radi also glances up at him, much less enthused. Ugh. He could try to show a little cheer. "Mhm. I have another, uh, friend coming. He's a psychic." "Ooh! What's his name?" Sumire is really eager. "Psychic."

Posted on 24th September in honor of Muzix Medley's 1 year anniversary. Hap annivers to Radi and Lofie!

Psyfic taglist: @y010isaghost, @s0methingmoonlit, @flurriethefox, @hoodiehydra

Let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!

Psi:

btw did you remember to tell radi and sumire

Void:

Oh right

Oops

Psi:

void.

Void:

LOOK MAN IM SORRY

IM A VERY BUSY GUY

I'll tell them now

they'll be chill dw

And if u already know they're here why r u worried

Psi:

yeah i bet

because they don't know about me

Void:

THEY WILL

Bro relax it'll be great

Sumire loves ppl

Psi:

don't call me bro

and uh

radi exists too

and you know how much he likes people like me

especially me

Void:

No one says we have to tell him

Psi:

he's going to think dd was playing the long game

and that you were complicit

and he'll probably try to kill you

and me

but sure i like this

Void:

Keyword TRY

And he knows I would never coop with DD

Cmon u can't back out now cousin

Psi:

technically cousin i could

Void:

Dude no Accretions are hard to find

And how will u get back without a chauffeur

Psi:

i can drive

unlike some people

but fine

Void:

I should cancel you

Psi:

can't have air conditioner void caught up in public family drama tho

Void:

DONT CALL ME THAT

But fine. Sure.

Psi:

thanks for sparing me cousin

now go spoil the plot twist to radi and sumire

don't want to give them a heart attack

Void:

Okok fine bye

----------

"Yeah, so uh, it's not just gonna be us here," Void casually brings it up with the two of them over coffee.

"Oh?" Sumire's gaze snaps up eagerly. They're still getting used to being in the same room as their idol on a regular basis. Void doesn't blame him. Who wouldn't be, when it's A.C. Void?

"Oh?" Radi also glances up at him, much less enthused. Ugh. He could try to show a little cheer.

"Mhm. I have another, uh, friend coming. He's a psychic."

"Ooh! What's his name?" Sumire is really eager.

"Psychic."

"Ooh."

"And you didn't tell us this before?" Radi scowls faintly.

"I mean, I think you can handle it," Void can't help sniping back. "He's fine. He doesn't bite. You've gotta relax, man."

“I know, I’m sorry, I just…” Radi gives a little sigh. “You know I’m not very good with new people. I just wish you had let us know sooner so I could feel…more prepared.”

Void raises a brow.

“But I’m sure you know him best, so I’m willing to let it go,” Radi adds hastily.

“Great!” Void claps once, letting the grin overtake his face once more. “Thank you, Radi.”

“How’d you guys meet?” Sumire prods, ignoring his coffee now, all too intrigued by Void’s little info drop. This is why he never tells anyone anything about his social life. Blegh.

“We were…uhm. We were at the same music event thing. A couple years back now, I think.” Truth. Kind of. They might’ve gotten off on a better foot from the beginning if Psi hadn’t been clinging to his beloved Dearests, Void recalls with a bitter smile.

“Oh, he makes music?” If there’s one thing Void would change about Sumire, it’s their habit of getting way too invested in other people’s business. Always the same with fans-turned-friends. Starts out endearing, flattering, among a sea of annoying faceless supporters. Ends up just another one of them.

“I mean...yeah.” Half-truth. Void angles for more of a well duh, fool tone rather than the initial I dunno, I’m just bluffing about his life so you guys don’t panic.

It’s not even a bluff, technically. Psychic can sing. Irritatingly well, in fact, and it’s a miracle Void’s managed to get even that much out of him. He’s still trying to get the guy to spill his big secret; how he beat the little blue brat in a song battle.

“That’s great!” Sumire, clueless as ever, practically jumps for joy. “We’ve all got that in common, so this should be fun!”

“Exactly.” Void smiles. Fun.

He and Psi better not regret this.

----------

Radi probably shouldn’t have let it go so easily.

The front door swings open, a cold breeze sweeping through, as a well-dressed young flamehead nonchalantly lets himself in, to a whoop from Void.

He’s taller than Radi expected. And more purple. If they weren’t so obviously two separate species, Radi might have assumed Psychic and Void were somehow related. Fourth cousins, or something like that.

Although, Radi’s not entirely sure what he had been expecting. Someone more…stereotypical? Someone tiny, lugging around crystals and amulets with the scent of burning incense trailing behind? Someone who’d likely speak in crypts and vague allusions?

Psychic is none of those things. As he greets Void and turns piercing magenta eyes on the two friends-turned-outsiders, Radi can’t help but feel like this man knows him.

He resists the urge to step protectively in front of his friend. It’s a little silly, he knows, Psychic is barely Sumire’s height, but something in his confident stance, the way he surveys Radi with cold, newfound interest, is more intimidating than it should be.

He should have known better, really. A.C. Void is not one to make friends with a stereotype.

Psychic doesn’t extend a hand. Neither does Radi. They just sort of not-glare at each other while Void not-glares at both of them to Get Along Before He Blows Apart This Entire Star System.

Psychic speaks first. “Well, hi. You must be Radi and Sumire.” His voice, low and smooth, echoes throughout Radi’s mind. Not a voice. Telepathy?

“And you’re Psychic, right? It’s great to meet you!” Sumire pipes up before Radi can say anything. Their sunny-side-up attitude is his only source of reassurance right now, that he’s not alone.

Psychic blinks, his shoulders easing. “That’s right. Pleased to meet you as well.” His gaze flicks between the two of them, eyes narrowing as they land on Radi. “Void’s already told me a bit about you two.” He knows how to be civil. He knows how to lie. Okay, Radi notes.

Void, far too self-absorbed to talk about anyone else, now and forever, herds them away from the door and down the hall. "You guys need to help me peer pressure Psi into revealing his big secret."

Big secret? Radi can believe that. Psychic has been watching him too intently for too long now.

"He beat Boyfriend-dot-freakin’-XML in a rap battle." Void makes a face, does a little flourish. Oh. That. "And he's gonna tell us how he did it. Right, Radi?"

You are not dragging me into your weird spat with that kid, Radi wants to retort. The problem was never he beat me in a rap battle. The problem was he wouldn't leave me alone and what if Lofie finds out where I’ve been because of him. He can't trust anyone, after all. Except his baby sister. And she can't be that for him anymore.

Void doesn't get it. As always.

“Right,” Radi presses his lips together. “Psychic, Void mentioned that you make music.”

“Ooh, yeah, right!” Sumire jumps in enthusiastically. “Is that like what you do for a living, or is it just a hobby?”

Psychic stiffens, giving Void a side scowl. Does he not want anyone knowing he sings? That’s a heavy contrast, isn’t it, given Psychic is supposed to be friends with A.C. Void? “Sometimes,” he relents, almost tentatively. “It’s only a hobby, not really something I do very often. My real interests lie elsewhere.” He avoids looking at any of them.

“What else are you into?” Sumire encourages.

"I like to read,” Psychic answers immediately, like it’s a default response. “Classics, mostly. And mysteries. What about you?”

“I don’t read a lot,” Sumire admits, “but I like manga! Usually I just listen to music and hang out with Radi.”

"Mhm.” Psychic glances back at Radi and Void before resuming conversation with them. He seems to be taking kindly to their constant stream of questions. At least Radi’s friend should be okay.

Void flashes a too-blinding grin at him. “I told you he doesn’t bite.”

“Yeah, I got it.” Radi manages a small, conciliatory smile. “You were right.”

Psychic doesn’t seem particularly fazed by the... Voidness of this house. He treats it with a sort of familiarity, like he’s accustomed to the grandeur, the almost arrogance of it all. It makes Radi wonder what background he comes from, how he got so used to being friends with someone like…well…

Void’s nice enough, but there’s a sharpness to him Radi has never entirely been able to shake off. It’s been there since their first song onstage together. A pointed focus not on their friendship, not on his fans, but on something else entirely. Radi still hasn’t figured out what it could be, what drives Void to be so…what he is.

The most prominent thing about Psychic is his stare. Even as he’s talking to Sumire and Void about books and music, every once in a while his intense gaze will snap back to Radi, as if trying to catch him off guard and see into his mind. He’s been regarding him with unnerving confidence, as if he knows something Radi doesn’t and wouldn’t hesitate to use that to his advantage. Radi swallows.

He could never be like Void, like Psychic, with their cool gazes and smug demeanors and the sparks of unearthly power in their eyes.

“So, Psychic, you’re from Earth, right?” Sumire is saying. “I live there too! Which area are you from?”

“I’ve been living in Newgrounds City for most of my life,” Psychic responds casually. He doesn’t confirm whether he’s actually from Earth, Radi notes.

Sumire stops dead. “Really? That’s insane, so have I! How have we not met already?”

“It’s a large area,” Void points out quickly. “And I think he’s in a different part of the city than you guys. It’s, uh, it’s not that surprising, honestly.”

“Obviously,” Psychic mutters. “I don’t actually go out that much either. I’m usually too busy for that.”

“What do you do?” Radi knits his brows. How much can he find out about this man before Psychic catches on?

Psychic and Void exchange an uncomfortable look. They were planning something beforehand, he realizes. But before Radi can say anything, Psychic starts, “There’s this family whose business I help…manage. It’s good pay.” His tone makes it clear that’s all he’s saying.

“And part of that includes beating Boyfriend-dot-freakin’-XML in a song battle?” Radi can’t resist. “Or does that count as a hobby?”

“Radi—” Void and Sumire yelp at the same time.

“No, no, it’s okay.” Amusement gleams in Psychic’s eyes. “Both.”

“Both?”

“Yes.” Psychic doesn’t elaborate.

“Well, do you ever plan to explain how you managed that?” Radi tries. He’s trying. Void can’t say he’s not trying.

"Nope."

“Well.” Radi turns to Void. “I have done all I can do.”

“Oh, come on!” Void bursts out. “You hate him just as much as I do, why aren’t you gonna do this for us?!”

“Because it’s more complicated than that,” Psychic sighs.

“How can it possibly be more complicated—“

“Guys,” Sumire interrupts pleadingly. “That’s enough. You can fight about Boyfriend later. Can’t we talk about something else?”

The way Psychic and Void both glower at him, Radi hopes Sumire hasn’t sealed his own fate.

“...Fine,” Void yields. He turns to Psychic. “But if you keep holding out, I might actually cancel you.”

“Uh-huh.” Psychic scoffs. “‘Course you would, cousin.” Cousin? The absolute can of worms that is this pair’s relationship.

“Come on, already.” Sumire rolls their eyes, dragging Void into the kitchen. “Let’s get a snack! Let’s watch a movie or something! Psychic, do you like Marvel?”

"I hate Marvel.”

Void brightens. “That’s perfect, actually! We can make fun of the bad storylines together! And talk about how much better I could do as a director!”

“Exactly!” Sumire cheers.

"That…actually does sound fun,” Psychic admits. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Radi echoes. Maybe he can gauge Psychic’s true intentions better if they spend more time doing casual stuff like this. Maybe it will be fun and Radi has just been paranoid this whole time. Maybe he’s been reading too deeply into Psychic’s mannerisms, the numbing cold in his eyes every time they meet Radi’s.

Probably not, but it’s a soothing idea to think about. He holds on to it anyway.

----------

[liauditore]

tw dysphoria (i guess?), abandonment issues (it always when we talk about jimmy), just rambling about jimmy not being a toy but being dysphoric about it

(you can just delete it before reading if it could trigger you)

in my head all this "jimmy is a toyyy!!!" arc was not about haha toy story and let's ignore how they could know about it, okay, it's like how scott doesn't remember pearl and jimmy just OMG MY RANCHER, OMG SCAR, OH NO, GRIAN and yeah yeah yeah

you know that thing when everyone bulling person and calling them, for example, "monster" and they are like, well, a lot of people call me that, i should conform (megamind basically). that's something similar, everyone call jimmy a toy (which he's not) and he's starting to doubt if he's a human. everything joel did to him (or its all hallucinations or joel really can control it and make jimmy toy for some time) just making worth. jimmy wasn't a toy, was he? (in my headcanons sheriff jimmy it's cod jimmy that decided to try again but absolute opposite of what he was.)

and because of green also making hallucinations for him (i hope you knows green something like origin, you can find it something in romeos blog, i wrote about it a little), jimmy is really can't really say if he's not a toy. he doesn't want to belive it and we can see it in dialogues with scar, that jimmy refusing to be a toy, an action figure, everything besides who he really is.

i can imagine him, avoiding mirrors and reflective surfaces, so he won't see himself. i'm really inspired to write it all bc of cavetown dysphoric, it's so jimmy for me

it's been over a year now

i thought it was the end

but now i don't remember comfort

because what i am is what i'm not

i don't belong here, it's just hopeless

find me a way out

if you love me at all

don't let me hear what they say

cuz i can't stand it every day

i'm thinking that i should leave now

but i don't i think i'm coming back this time

it's killing my heart.

and scar was the only one who doesn't call jimmy a toy like 90% of their time together. jimmy knows that scar will leave, like his rancher left him, like emp1 scott left him alone with problem with cod father head and yeah yeah yeah....

i don't know, i just woke up and my brain wad like good morning, honey, it's time to make people suffer

- 🔥

angst?? for me??? 🥺🥺👉👈

HKDHKHLADH SCrEAMING,, putting thoughts under the cut cus i already know its gonna get Long but hkhlkfdhjk

OuGH i love this 😭😭😭 although the megamind comparison kinda sent me lmao

side note i am. into very disturbing and messed up themes so you'd have to try very, very hard to upset me. so go wild in my ask box lol (i do have a good chunk of ppl who just have 'minor' in their bios following me tho so i might not respond to smth if i feel like it's 'too far' or hide it under a cut but yeah)

^realising this sounds like a "i am very badass" thing but i swear i just think stuff is cool 😭😭😭

BUT ANYWAY ouhfhkl mind break and objectification my beloved. i love taking the toy bit in an angsty direction cus i'll be honest i never really found the humour in it but it's TASTY recontextualized.

Jimmy's got a lot of fight in him but I'm just thinking maybe one day it all becomes a bit too much and he just.. goes limp in his seat, eyes glazed over, motionless except for his chest rising and falling with each breath. Someone (maybe Scar, since we're doing Scaridarity) finds him and is like "Hey, what's wrong? You okay?" and gets no response.

Scar would probably be somewhat uninitiated on the whole toy thing and be puzzled but I'd think he scoops Jimmy up and takes him somewhere safe til he recovers. and when he finally gets up he has a bit of a panic attack about what is real.

[berlinbisque]

Proud Reject (Part 1)

I’m literally blind my eyesight has deteriorated further everything’s blurry the day starts in bed & ends like that too no sunlight no connection with the outside world no one to talk to just my phone and my thoughts & loads of tears… that’s how everyday begins and ends. Its not self imposed, this happens when you are isolated by people. I can’t type but I wanted to write this… I love this mini story or script more than my next book even though the book’s more interesting but out of personal choice I like the story which I’ll be sharing tomorrow more than that, it’s not on any professional level it’s just something I would’ve discussed with a friend and laughed ie. if I had friends, something started that particular “topic” and I couldn’t help wondering… what if?

My heart was in my mouth again cuz I received a reel on FB which had his friend Aditya (he was either pretending to be him in 2016 or he himself inspite of being engaged was interested idk) they were dancing like most tv ppl and I got another panic attack… my mother was already torturing me, I woke up with high fever I still have fever headache it’s been there since a week I’m getting wheezing due to continuous crying and I realised that he wants someone famous to make such videos too. Someone rich and famous like that. Even in abroad there’s no pressure, over there all those celebs (who are are much more popular) even the ones in their early 20s when they make videos that too just one or two out of fad, they film it on their cheap phones they don’t care about the blurry quality they are not trying to sell it, they just don’t care about all that and those who are of my age (still nowhere close to Aditya, he was older than Harsh also) some of them, even if they have all those pics that I personally like (with their boyfriends - trekking or at the lake, casual everyday candid shots) they still find it hard to cope with social media and they eventually take a break from it, had they been in my position they too would’ve ended up like this out of all that pressure. I can’t keep up with your life. Few things that I’ll like to share before starting with my story, A - the sketches I’m sorry if he was hurt. I had not made them, my book wasn’t like Rupi Kaur’s either it never had those intimate doodles. I think my mother stalks me (I don’t want to write about her publicly but I have to share all this please don’t judge me by her) and she has taken advantage of a lot of things and also challengingly said “Did anyone come to help you? Everyone hates you and no one pays attention no one cares, everyone wants you to die and you will die alone like this” she has also told me a lot of hurtful things related to that guy, taking advantage of that as well and and the problem is (my hands are cold n numb lifeless rn) I can’t convey my feelings directly through some app or something so I have to rely on these public posts NO MAILS he ain’t some God or Celebrity (being a celebrity means being celebrated not deprecated) I’m not some groupie or teenager to mail my fav celebrity crush and he doesn’t belong to any boy band. What’s in it for me? Will I be rescued from my mother or helped with my health issues which started DUE TO HIM? Or is he just gonna sit there reading my mail, getting happy with all the validation after which he’ll ignore it. Am I that? Hahaha I’m not into human worship. We are more focused on our lives… especially those like me in my position. She has told me several times that I’m a “sl-u-tt” for being in LOVE or for falling in love. She also came up with the forcer tag even thought it was torturous for me and I kept crying and saying STOP stop stop cuz for us as girls rape or force is worse than murder, I never wanted him to marry me just to take responsibility for his actions I never wanted to punish him with myself and I always respected him and I’ll continue to do so I’m not his fans to write cheap comments like I saw in that dancing video (they were writing about his shirt). That tacky shirt made the whole video even more disturbing, and I didn’t see the entire thing I was in the middle of a panic attack, I just saw one shot then I died. After that I vomited, my pressure was falling rapidly and I kept crying for days cuz you know what right… (25th Oct) anyway I never shared this (one more reason/aspect) like that Chote Pandit tells Ruhaan or Ruh Baba “Aap par aise chichore kapde jajte nahi hai” I was like aah that is what they call it… anyway haha but I don’t want anyone who is being an “eye candy” for other females on television, they come and hit on him in comments that too cheap comments. Yes everyone’s doing it but that’s why we are so depressed and you are anyway not with me I don’t even get a fraction of your day or time.

My mother used that word force several times (she has said other unimaginable offending things too) cuz I was crying and it was triggering me, she said it because I wanted him to say something (but we weren’t even discussing that) for talking or communication cuz I just wanted his OCD to break. It started within 24 hours and not how you might think we met on 2nd Oct then 2 years later 2nd April and I know that we all feel jaded to text sometimes or keep the conversation going, we might not feel enthusiastic anymore after that initial excitement or whatever but it wasn’t like that, if it would’ve been that I wouldn’t have even taken so much stress. We’ve all done that at some point in our lives, internet makes us lethargic, we also get addicted to more exploration or finding new people to talk to… we feel like we can do better or take our time to choose whoever’s the most ideal for us, but his case was totally different.

At some point we would all respond or say something maybe after a week or even after getting let’s say - reconnected after losing contact or reaching a temporary impasse. We wouldn’t hold on to any grudge or some kind of a “promise” he swore never to talk to me, there was nothing to be mad about, he just decided that we will never have any direct contact his parents also said “We don’t want to keep any talukaat (contact) particularly with your daughter” he kept liking my pics BUT not replying to any of the texts (when he started liking my photos religiously I texted him on FB messenger because I thought maybe my texts weren’t getting through and I wasn’t receiving his due to some glitch but he READ those FB texts and still didn’t respond) and even after that he was liking the pics then when I told him “Are u feeling sorry for me, why do you keep liking the photos, is it the BB pin what you wanted, I even gave you a reason that too it was all funny and I gave it the very same night as soon as I woke up in the middle of it I gave it” he removed me from the list after that. I am getting wheezing I can’t get overwhelmed I had shared the exact thing which I told him when he was asking for my pin (long ago) I can’t keep reiterating everything everywhere. He then kept blocking and ignoring my real account but speaking to the fake ID

The coincidences and those premonitions in my dreams had already started which made me more curious about his behaviour so I tried talking to him but that fake ID like I said was for my school friend who was also stalking me with her fake ID. And I would not see his stories or anything, I was playing her Snapchat story but his was queued so it started playing by default where I saw that training session. When I tried speaking to him using my real acc… he not only blocked me AS SOON AS HE HEARD MY NAME (like I said he wanted no “direct” contact between me and him) he also made his account private. He made me feel like a stalker, I had already started getting panic attacks and I had stopped watching TV it has been off since then (2015 Sept) I tried moving on in Aug itself but I told you what happened over and over again, same old story repeated heartbreaks… cuz they only wanted girls like me as a call girl and according to them only pageant winners or models, fair and rich or extremely famous girls even those with notoriety (nothing worth all that attention) who were out of their league were all meant for dating. I never fell in that category. Eventually they ended up with actual call girls. I have seen their pics and I’ve seen some in real life too. All those other girls whom they were chasing would treat them like “fans” karma. Not only actors everyone these days does that and then girls of my level (caliber) get married to roadside romeos and illiterate creeps/pervs cuz all those men also want someone out of their league and they prey on us… this is a common problem in India. Anyway like I said I just wanted to see if he still remembered me by the end of that year and if he still hated me (for no reason) I had not added him to view his stories but he blocked me and made everything private. I’m twitching it affects me subconsciously now… my mother also makes me feel like this after years of (weird) coincidences which were linked to him and all that insensitivity (the story escalated he never made peace his behaviour only got worse along with all that humiliating ignorance) since she called me a “sl-tt” for falling in love with him I eventually ended up telling her that her marriage was literally arranged it wasn’t a love marriage but yet she got prégnant so many times so was that out of love or lust? I never wanted to get on such terms with her but she would keep torturing me (she had thrashed me ruthlessly even after getting fibromyalgia several times cuz I have no one in this world to support me or tell her anything) she has in fact told me a lot of harmful and offending things (out of gloating) “Dekho kuch aur kabhi koi nahi mila iss aurat ko yeh akeli hi reh gayi” and laughed (I was 25) I’ve been getting addressed as aurat or woman ever since I was 12. I was told I should’ve drowned during 26th July floods and never returned from school I would sit on the stairs with my heavy bag famished and parched everyday after coming home for 2-3 hours cuz my mother would not leave keys for me, and then get tortured at home for another one hour, I would keep telling myself one day someone will come and all this would end but I ended up being bed ridden because of whoever came and it continued for many more years to come, all my youth and adulthood.

I was never a likeable girl whom you could fall in love with, I never had those superficial attributes (white complexion, money, fame etc. they would only try to treat us like call girls that’s why I’m a lip virgin) . When I said about love and arranged marriages she said she had every right cuz she was legally married and I’m a forcer rapist (for wanting to know the reason behind his sudden silence and that absurd behaviour) she keeps saying or blurting these things out because of unrequited love cuz no one likes or wants me, it’s perceived as a social stigma in India. Cuz there’s nothing from the opposite side not even care or basic concern as a Co-human literally how can someone be so insensitive? She says all that derisively, again out of gloating and competition just to pull me down as another female. Today things were worse even though I had wheezing and I’m still getting it + fever and headache. I’m gonna cut it short now I’ve written a lot…

So coming back to the OCD or whatever part where he had made a rule that there would be no direct contact - he would either speak to my fake ID or use his own friend’s ID but one of us had to be someone else. Go through this link: https://www.lilacnights.com/post/surprise The other day I murmuring in my sleep I was so disoriented I kept saying “Aditya came with his gf Aditi… God knows for what, Harsh was also 10 kms away Aditya had said he would go to some bakery in Kandivali for evening snacks Kandivali is where they would reside he was at his house even though he would always be 6 kms away which is Malad” then I said to myself “No wake up it’s Tanvi not Aditi obviously”

I had told you, the Devil or angels all these entities in fact can probably read our minds and you know when I was browsing certain quotes it’s as if they were talking to me… one of them reflected exactly what I was thinking a few days back - Since I had seen his house in 2015-16 I knew he wasn’t rich and like I said he wasn’t even that big on Instagram or FB no blue tick and 2500-3000 followers with 250 likes, from his (natural) pics I thought he wasn’t that good looking or fair (it’s just that he wasn’t very photogenic) and so I fell in love with him but then some tarot reader told me (I had to rely on all that cuz he was not saying anything) that he was reluctant cuz he thought I was like a gold digger so I started cutting down all my expenses worked on several articles for my blogs back then, I was 20 but I was trying to be as understanding as possible… I started buying things on Sale literally if you’ve noticed for 100s-1000 all these years because of my panic attacks I never saw him after 2016 Feb and I thought maybe that is what he wanted there was anyway no hope from the others, and I had coincidences or signs here so I thought I’ll do this and then I realised it was all futile, all the selflessness and altruism it just wasn’t worth it. I even wrote a letter and clarified/acknowledged that it could be one sided while also sharing my feelings for him cuz I thought he would also cut down on his expenses because his brother was jobless like mine. That’s why I hate today’s generation they ruin everyone’s life along with their’s but I’m from Gen Z I’m actually younger than his younger brother it’s just that they are always like that, they have no pressure or expectations. I poured lots of love in that letter for this part but he hated me and then he had that stage show with her which broke my heart and I never gave it and my mother also was about to hit me again cuz she secretly read that (it had nothing which could’ve made her that livid or furious not even like a proper I love you or anything) she just said “Stop trying to look great or good” I saw the Devil’s numbers so I’m guessing it was him you had read my mind when I was telling myself that it was all wrong, I shouldn’t have ever tried being ideal for someone like that when he was already well off or rich or good looking he never needed love like me that’s why he never even understood anything, I don’t know why his house looked like that or if like ppl say Gujjus actually hide money but it was all deceptive, he was already too good he never needed love he was in a way better position. I kept saying I should’ve enjoyed and loved my life instead of getting bed ridden and cutting down everything, living on that bare minimum stuff c’mon… he showed a quote which had the exact same emotions and it was talking about all this too.

Then there were more quotes again with my thoughts but with answers this time - As a piece of advice *clears throat* the Devil’s like “Times change, we change, our choices change too… maybe you should just live out your dreams now” the background images everything all the signs suggested/reminded me of the rest of the stuff, let’s say he wants some tv actress to make those stupid immature dance reels (remember what had happened last time right? Two of them in their 40s made a misogynistic video where he was liye talk throwing her around and getting abusive and for some reason that was supposed to be funny and then that guy that “actor” he actually slammed her head against the wall in real life cuz he was having an affair) the fortune telling app said he wants someone “talented” to make those reels and earn money ummm seriously? You are going to hold auditions and another Swayamvar for this? You actually need talent for such stupid ass videos? Really? 😂🤣🤣🤣 He reminded me of my dreams (ironically the Devil not him) and he’s right here so if he is “rejecting” me for these reels like overage teenagers then even I will say - I want some NRI who stays abroad and who will take me away from all this (I gave examples of so many famous celebrities from MY age group all these ppl making videos are older, those celebs they don’t do all this and even if they do it cuz it’s a fad now it’s shot on blurry pixelated quality for fun not money and some of them they take all those cute casual pics and use Instagram like a digital album like some of our Indian Bollywood celebs and that’s it, they don’t turn this into a career that too most of it is just for attention) so yeah he’s right if he’s rejecting me for that especially after I’ve become conscious I don’t even look good so yeah I’m not suitable for the camera I have become agoraphobic I haven’t left my room since 2017 I’ve become bed ridden and he is still thinking selfishly about his own life then I also want a rescuer an actual hero who will take me abroad because why is he even staying India? Just got fame right? You hardly get anything here, we needed something for our living room and bathroom some important fixtures and even there there’s literally no choice or even proper functionality. If you see the state of our roads or the air quality outside you’ll literally feel like shifting there… it’s getting worse day by day, we hardly get any quality product here, prices are getting hiked and unlike abroad there are no alternatives, I keep getting cheap ads from “homegrown businesses” in India who are busy making Sx toys, the land of superficial Kama sutra and Chappis or pervs what else do you expect? Indians don’t need beautiful cosy homes or designer spaces (that too in a budget) or other things such as good quality food or air or any kind of consumption like that cuz they are only good at fcking and having kids. Our population shows that there are literally no brains here… my head is paining.

My mother would never believe or support me when I would say I’m always about to face molestation in the school bus cuz I’m my stop was last and I would be the only girl left everyday I would force myself to somehow keep away my head wud keep banging against the window cuz I would get drowsy, they (driver and cleaner) didn’t even spare a KG toddler, I eventually took things into my own hand and the cleaner’s frustration was evident that day and when I grew up I saw smother school bus’s driver ogling me (when I was a teenager) in my car, I immediately looked behind to see if they were being accompanied by a teacher cuz that was a new rule but the teacher was sitting obliviously completely ignorant to that in her own sweet world… (Jamnabai Bus) another toddler’s case came on tv that year where they parents had paid 10k for her picnic where she was raped and the teacher kept threatening and manipulating and raping her repeatedly he was a sad case my hands are again I’ve cold I had to mention all that this is one more reason why I don’t want kids anymore and this country it’s unlivable. I can’t stay here. All my school friends are married to NRIs, and I don’t want to stay here either… in fact considering my thoughts and everything I should’ve been the first to move. All my school friends would think I was from there… Someone had even told me that I was too sophisticated to be here when it saw my old website (I don’t have it now) he was surprised it was made in India. We asked about the bathroom hardware btw, I just received a response and as guessed they’ve shifted everything to exports inspite being an Indian brand, all the good stuff is reserved for Dubai and other places… people who don’t deserve to be there (cheap bimbos) have already shifted, for me I just fell short of the mark because of my looks ur complexion I don’t know what to blame. Look at these beautiful velvety chenille cushions with all those intricate designs (traditional + Aztec) I have studied all this on my own… you don’t get this stuff in India btw, we get nothing here.

I somehow got those items, it’s me Zara after all I can’t keep something ugly or bad in that bathroom, there has to be congruity like everything else I’m always in sync with the universe. We felt like thieves though to buy things made in Rajasthan as if it was all smuggled. In India girls develop a defence mechanism from an early age, it might sound like really dreary and lascivious if I’ll keep bringing up this topic but in this particular article I feel like I’ll have to discuss it not explicitly but I’ll have to make you understand why as girls or more precisely as ineligible (darker toned females who don’t have a rich father to buy a bridegroom for her, who won’t be able to afford any dowry you might think times have changed BUT I literally heard someone in my own family shouting and saying “My best friend’s girl has several hotels at her name her father is a business tycoon and look at me I can’t woo anyone like that, where am I? Uske gf ke baap ki itni saari hotelein hai dekho and wht about me?” He doesn’t even want to get married. That same gf was so weird she had a deviant personality she locked him from outside while they were on a trip God knows for what reason and kept him under lock and key. He woke up locked in that room.

We deal with lecherous men from the age of 10-11 and all these educated men who are supposed to take care of us are feeding us to the wolves I wanted someone of my caliber to talk to who would understand my thoughts, who would’ve able to keep up with me and my conversations someone who himself is fathomable and not some illiterate incoherent cheap vulgar man like that creep from Bhopal YET I WAS FORCED to talk to him, they left me with no choice until I blocked him and he kept coming and harassing me, he was a perv and you know his story. Is that not FORCE? In fact it’s all UNFAIR it’s the other way round… I have dealt with married creepy ugly men touching me by taking advantage of the crowd on school trips - we feel molested and exploited we feel like killing ourselves, and when a girl gets rejected for no reason she didn’t even like got chance to probably get liked for her personality or other things (we put make more efforts than all those good looking fair rich girls hoping we’ll get chosen by someone or the other) but at the end we get rejected not only for love or CARE, (every girl’s fav word) but also for emotional, financial and physical security, we are deprived of that too. We can’t depend on our old parents when we are surrounded by so many pervs who are getting further encouraged by INTERNET. Now all the pseudo feminists will be like - “You can’t learn Judo Karate (some of us have certain illnesses and unfortunately the ones triggered by stress are skyrocketing amongst girls that too chronic destabilising ones like Lupus (systematic disorder) Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s syndrome, Neurasthénia which I got after fibro due to cov & 5th Mar stress ) They will say “You can’t learn kick boxing? Karate? Pork chop? Use pepper spray…?” At the risk of what? Incurring their wrath & getting acid thrown at our face? “You can’t ask for a raise?” They sometimes pay more to men cuz they are the sole bread winners in some families and at times single girls and boys BOTH are given a smaller paycheck. There are places where they do add more zeroes for men but even after bringing up that topic things haven’t changed for us… next “Why can’t you work during your pregnancy why take a maternity leave? You are a woman we are strong invincible we don’t need that, how old fashioned? Why take an epidural? Why Caesarean? Why can’t you juggle work life and kids both? Why have children? Too primitive? Why can’t you have kids? Too ambitious? (Well there are several other reasons) Why be a homemaker? Why become a working girl? Be modern we don’t work 9 to 5… Why can’t you just party, booze and smoke and then grow your own weed, sell it & become an entrepreneur… like a female Pablo Picasso… why can’t you? Is it only for men?” All these pseudo feminists will immediately ask these things, the moment you talk about being deprived of emotional, physical or financial security which is like the need of the hour right now for females they’ll start asking such nonsensical questions that you’ll feel like pulling a trigger in your mouth instead of answering them. But what I meant to say is that is what rejection is for us. We have no hope left and our future becomes uncertain and scary. Speaking of wanting to move somewhere abroad… I would’ve probably stayed back if I had someone here, you stay for people you love… I have no one to keep me here, they actually all want me to die they are waiting for that. No one cares about my life or me…

Considering everything that I had to hear… (my head is paining so please ignore all the errors/typos) and how people have behaved with me especially him and my mother, I don’t want that forcer chaser tag anymore so if you are ready to accept me only then you can approach or if you want be friends then I’m also cool with that but don’t be fickle like him, if you are not sure then either stay away or be honest… if you don’t want me but still want to be around and if you are okay with risking your integrity although I’m very good at keeping secrets then we can have a half open marriage like I had suggested earlier. I had written all this long ago…

Girls like me who are considered “untalkable” can only dream of a platonic relationship… in my dreams sometimes I have someone by my side holding my hand when I feel like I’m dying during those convulsions or tremors and violent jerking/twitching throughout my body, I get wheezing too and even my heart muscles go through that; having said that in real life it involves romantic feelings minus intimacy and it’s unimaginable to think that someone would like us, we can use the other house mates alternative which again considering how he has made me… ugly and all and how much my mother hates having me around, I feel it would be difficult for someone to put up with me in the same environment, she keeps praying for my death cuz she “cannot stand me” (just like the guy I loved the most) and ego would want to hang around? I always wanted to be with him, watch TV, shop together, put my arm around his neck, talk, do fun things like sharing those interesting or unbelievable bizarre stories (well I have a lot now) build our home, decorate it and spend our life together, now that life is gone along with 8-10 years of my youth, I could never be with him. When they create characters like us on screen they show us like psychos, one sided forcers, they do cover these things like watching tv or preparing breakfast but we are still shown as some creep who is forcing someone to be around & craving for their presence, fighting for their time and attention. They depict us like those psychos and we end up feeling more scared 😱 hence we never talk about this. Speaking of mutualism, well maximum of these stories start off as not only mutual but also with loads of attention from the opposite side, they lure you and then humiliate. Also, who would want to watch TV with me? I can crack jokes and make you laugh if you want to be House Mates, you won’t get bored and if you aren’t like my mother then you’ll even get used to my appearance and it won’t bother you after some time. Platonic is where you can watch movies or tv together, as house mates we can use the living area as a common room apart from that we will have our own space where we can stay separately, My head is paining a lot and I have a lot of fever so I’m gonna continue the funny story tomorrow…

Gn Zara Sauleh

Coincidences - www.lilacnights.com/post/stupid-cupid

My Dream Life 👇🏻

Just so you know… this is My Dream Life. This is what I want, a warm cosy home, sunsets by the lake, Amsterdam canals & rivers, round windows, quaint little shops, egrets & ducks, some puppies, warm amber lights, 90s vibes, freshly baked viennoiseries 🥐 and love + a little bit of tranquility. Credit for videos - | utrechtalive | & | elbgestoeber | (couldn’t tag cuz I’ve seen some bloggers asking ppl to take down their videos so didn’t want to tag them I have added their usernames)

[aurischolar]

an early morning vent post? on my blog? it’s more likely than you think. free pc check

cw self injury / internalized ableism //

ugh… i’ve been feeling rly burnt out lately and yesterday it was rly overwhelming me how much i need to do and how little i’m capable of actually doing and how hard i have to constantly push myself to do the very little i am capable of.. and idk what the term would be for what i was feeling (overload? anxiety attack?) but everything was rly getting to me and it was making my fibro pain worse so i closed my eyes and i was trying to focus on my breathing but then jewels knocked over my medications on the table directly in front of me and i got so startled and scared and overwhelmed that i reflexively hit myself several times…

self injuring is instinctively how i ground myself when my emotions get too big or i’m experiencing sensory overload but i’m so hyper-conscious of how “crazy brown person upset, seemingly out of control, and using physical force/violence” appears to others that i pretty much have to be past the point where i can even conceive of any other coping method to resort to it… (also like. since i have chronic pain already, i’d rather not inflict more pain on myself if i can avoid it lmao). but man, i was taken a bit by surprise how much shame and fear i felt toward myself afterwards ;n;

i was never exposed to ppl discussing reasons and nuance behind why ppl self-injure (other than depression) until i was an adult and i got into the autistic community on twitter. and i guess truly unlearning the “if you hit yourself you’re crazy and dangerous” messaging from society takes a lot more time than i’d given it… but anyways, i’m gonna try to remember that i’m still recovering from my hysterectomy last month and i need to be kind to myself, even though it can feel like i’m just making up excuses to neglect my responsibilities. where’s a “exhausted and tormented but genuinely still trying to have hope” emoji when i need one

[zaruba-needslove]

Slight meta post since I have many thought... which many times I've tried to include in my fics and end up getting derailed or sometimes i din evet get a chance to include.

But nope.... not gonna talk about Kei-chan or Ace cos ppl do seem like to find faults on Kei too much or think that Ace would never do anything wrong or be less than perfect...

So buffbutt gonna be my usual target.... heh?

Anyway...

The series NEVER explained or try to justify WHY buffass was intentionally being such a sorebutt during the earlier games. Like yeah he hated the asses who caused Tohru's death--but wait?

Something that I occasionally think but sometimes just skip, was that I've always assume that assbutt KNEW exactly HOW Tohru died aka they had their buckles stolen after being ganged up and later attacked by Jyamato... thus explain away buffass's hate on the players, but DID assbuff really WITNESS all that? What if the only thing they knew/saw was just Tohru collapsing and 'died'?

Since we were never shown the actual beginning of the first onscreen DGP, it makes me wonder HOW buffass's actual first entry look like? Would it be the same as Keiwa's first hour at his first game...OR WORSE? Like someone would try to argue that eh.... buffass and Tohru used to be delinquents so it shouldn't be hard fighting the Jyamato the first time... but are average HUMAN trash comparable to a Jyamato? Weapons aside, can you easily get killed when you get punched by a gangster? Would've needed a lot a punches for that tho. But a Jyamato... one strike would've been enough. Early buffass ass would've performed as mediocre as Keiwa and Neon have been (yet look at that shit acting so snob saying all the noobs gon get pwned so bad). Also you'd think someone who cares a lot about Tohru wouldn't act so ass to someone who're also like Tohru.... right? He shouldn't act the same way as the asses that shit on Tohru... right? No?

Considering what happened to Tohru, it won't be weird to assume that Buffass joined the game because of that. But you know what? Assuming the bool's Desire card wish had always been the same... I had to REALLY question that guy's motive. His first DGP happening not long after he witnessed Tohru supposedly died... yet Butt's wish was to "Crush all Kamen Rider"? And not... trying to find out the truth about what happen to Tohru? Does that mean from the very start, he already believed that Tohru died? Really?

I mean...

So far, in ANY DGP rider deaths... aside from the red pixels thingie to differentiate the blue pixalating effects when players gets retired, have any players being shown that they've breathe their last breath when their core iD breaks BEFORE they got zapped away? Could anyone be sure that 'killed' players really got killed fr instead of being hidden away at some 'storage' facility?*

So back to buffass, after being told that they can make ANY wish come true if they can survive and win the game... have they never thought about wishing to GET Tohru back? No? Why? I mean until assbuff got shipped to Jyama Garden, that guy din act like he knows for sure that Tohru's Dead dead. Eh?

Suddenly I feel so bad for Tohru lol despite acting like he can't live w/out his friend by his side assbutt never considered wanting to 'revive' Tohru.

That aside, another thing that's been bothering me (and reason why I never bought that whole argument about 'assbutt really do care about other people's happiness' shit) was WHY that assbuff kept up this image of an asshole player that only care about themselves? I mean that butt was supposed to 'hate' those 'bad' players who should be responsible for causing Tohru's death (hence the animosity to Ace)... yet he's pretending to be the same like those bad players? That's weird. Like even if it's just to protect themselves , the behaviour the butt show was overdoing it. Even if they were trying to copy Ace's attitude like how rebellious teenagers trying to act like gangsters to appear tough, that guy never displayed any sign that their 'true' selves was really THAT 'caring' in the first place. Beroba was on point about that, esp whenever Buff try to overzealously act very kindly or caring... it felt more like Butt was trying to 'cosplay' as Keiwa. Not because of his own supposed 'true' self/personality, but because that was what butt thinks a kind/good person was supposed to be.... someone like Keiwa. So by butt's logic... to be a nice person is to act like Keiwa.

So yeah.... i dunno what people see in that guy. Butt felt so much a fraud as a fraud could be. Seeing that guy act 'kind' and not asshole was weird. Wouldn't YOU feel weird out as well? If someone who's usually yandere/tsundere suddenly went deredere on you, would you be wary of them?

So I don't really like that assbutt... though yeah, if he appeared in my fics I'll try to give explanation on why he behave like an ass... but aside from that, i can't stand that boofaw.

Buffa is such a fraud.

-----

*like before it's stated crystal clear that the defeated players were really killed and get recycled as plantfood, I used to assume that the defeated players were just stowed away/hidden from the public either physically or digitally (like how the Tree of Knowledge stored the Jyama parasite victims). cos I had these thoughts during PunkJack SP where Win saw a few very injured players being in pain yet they still looked VERY alive. So I used to think that defeated players din really die as were told before... that maybe they're just in comatose state or being put to suspended animation state or smth. So if it's like that, for the DGP to grant Keiwa's wish to 'revive' the defeated players... it shouldn't be hard to achieve that, since the killed players never really died. but it din end up like that.

** yanno i kept referring to Buff as something butt-related I may end up liking that butt lol, but nah... it'll just be Moku-chan's butt I'm growing fond of. Not that Ass TM. And I still won't ship that guy with Ace. Or Keiwa. At most it'll with Daichi or Knight or even Archimedel and Beroba 😃

*** before people tryna argue about why won't butt wish for Tohru's revival... isn't that the most likely thing people who have lost a dearest person would wish first, if someone ANYONE tryna offer a chance to win an impossible wish and it can be anything, wouldn't reviving their loved ones be the first thing they want? Also I think someone in the Desire Royale was in that position (or maybe i'm misremembering)

[menalez]

i missed all of the macroclit stuff and it’s really sad considering i knew her personally. she has untreated mental illness on top of being autistic and the stress of the entirety of radblr calling for you to delete & die while dealing with intense personal trauma like an abortion is so overwhelming. there’s so much pressure on radblr for atonement, no forgiveness for wrongdoing. that being said, her opinion about same sex attraction having bending room for TIMs is based in her bisexuality and experiences of her “lesbianism”. bisexual women will never be able to speak to the nature of lesbianism because they still feel attraction to the oppressor even when they don’t believe it. her failure to contextualize how her bisexuality whether she accepted it or not has permeated what she considered her time as a lesbian. being southern baptist inspires internalized homophobia. it doesn’t make it okay for her to enact that upon others, but in no context was she attacking or calling out anyone specific. i’ve seen worse attacks on this website go unmentioned because the creator had more gravitas or more followers. 🤷🏾‍♀️

idk like i’ve been harassed almost constantly since being in radblr, ive been more or less doxxed & threatened & had my trauma weaponised against me over and over again for years. there were 3 different blogs straight up dedicated to me at once while i was actively in an abusive relationship. & i didn’t react to that by saying homophobic or racist or misogynistic things online (the worst i had done in that time was call the woman harassing me an old hag) so i just.. don’t get how her having faced harassment & going thru an abortion has any relevance to her making multiple homophobic statements. in hindsight i do think she thinks she’s an authority on homosexuality & gay ppl’s experiences. when criticised for her stance on lesbians being able to be attracted to men by lesbians in that discord server, she literally said to one of them “girl.. have you ever experienced real homophobia?”. she left the server after doubling down on her take and when her beliefs were brought up here, she doubled down on it AGAIN. this was on top of her saying the f-slur and comparing hypocrites saying she isn’t a radfem to imperfect christians thinking they’re superior to gay ppl bc they aren’t gay.

that said, if she does decide to come back, i’m probably just gonna be wary and keep a distance bc this is not the first time she says prejudiced things about other minorities. i had forgiven her on like… 2 prior occasions already and i cant do it a 3rd time.

i can agree with u that there’s many things that go unnoticed/unmentioned here tho and that her take on lesbianism is influenced by her being bisexual but that’s the extent of it. i don’t agree w u downplaying it and attributing it to her having a hard time

[fbfh]

peter quill dating hcs

Listen this isn't the smut headcanons

But it's peter quill

There's gonna be some 18+ jokes and content

I will keep this as sfw as possible bc you'd better fucking believe that Peter Quill relationship and intimacy hcs are on their fucking way

So yeah just a prelude

Anyway

Yuh let's get inTO it

Okay two things first

1: I'm so mad there's like no fics for him?????????? Why is he not yet a tumblr sexyman??????? I get the first movie came out in like 2014 so I probably just missed the hype window but for gods sake

2: a lot of ppl think he'd be easily flustered and blushy and that's totally and completely valid

However

Why are we overlooking the whole "I've slept with half the galaxy" thing????????

Like

Okay Peter is a goofball

We know this

And on top of that

He can get it

I'm going to stop myself there so more on that later

He's like 6'2, hilarious, charismatic, so loving and compassionate, fan fucking tastic music taste i could go on for days

I feel like more likely than not you'd probably go from fwb to lovers

Since this is the sfw half we're gonna focus more on the second half

I feel like he falls so hard and fast he doesn't really have time to be like

Oh no I'm falling in love dammit

He's so easily distracted by everything about you that he can't hear that voice going "snap out of it Peter"

Cause he does not want to

Oh my god sit on his lap when he's in the pilot's seat in the Milano

When he's not driving obviously

It's one of his favorite things you do

If you're Terran you bond over earth stuff really quickly

#growingupterran

He's really affectionate

Like really really affectionate

Rocket makes gagging noises whenever you're in the same room cause there's usually some kinda cuddling or kissing going on

Even just loving gazes across the room

Rocket is the voice Peter ignores telling him to snap out of it

Rocket: come on! This is gross! It's gross, right Groot?

Groot, handing Peter a flower to give to you: I am Groot :)

Peter, handing you the flower: thank you Groot, you're my new wingman

Rocket: >:(

Don't worry though, you call Rocket the weapons expert and he likes you suddenly

"What should we bring to the attack?"

"We should ask Rocket, he is the weapons expert"

Rocket, dropping down from an air vent, "DAMN RIGHT I AM"

Rocket gives me Rigby meets Dan from Dan vs energy

When Peter sees you getting along with the rest of the crew it makes his heart so happy

I’d say out of all marvel subunits the guardians have the most genuine found family dynamic

The support between him and his friends is so important to him, so when you integrate pretty easily as part of the group, it means a lot to him

If you’re terran

Which presumably you are

When he first shared his awesome mixes with you you loved it

You checked your phone and realized, very distraught, that you don’t have wifi in space

Luckily you had some music downloaded, so you have like 3 playlists you can listen to

Once you get to a planet with actual reception, you make copies of his mixes on spotify so y’all can shuffle them

He kind of prefers to listen straight through but the variety is nice

And the fact that you did that for him???? His heart goes boom boom

And his peepee goes hELLO

He’ll dance with you a lot

Albeit very shittily

But you both have fun

If you’re insecure about dancing you won’t be for long

Sometimes when you’re dancing he’ll have his hands on your waist

Just staring at you

He’s been from one corner of the galaxy to the next

He’s seen everything

And you still top the charts as the prettiest sight he’s ever laid eyes on

His eyes get all big and sparkly

His brow gets a little furrowed and he has this smirky smile

He lets out a breathy laugh, baffled at how after all the pain and loss and bullshit he’s endured

How someone as

Wonderful

As you came into his life

Man

He just likes spending time with you

And as much of a front as he puts up he will come damn near death to protect you and make sure you’re safe

The only reason he wouldn’t actually die for you is because then he wouldn’t be able to protect you more

But he will 100% sacrifice himself for your safety and wellbeing

Afterwards he’ll cover it up with self aggrandizing humor

“So we’re in agreement… that was so heroic, right?”

Through tears, you’ll clutch him and laugh

“Oh, yeah. Very brave, your medal of valor will be arriving soon,”

He does this to soften the blow of what he did

Both for you and him

Let’s be real, he’s not best with up front emotional vulnerability

He’ll deflect with humor or seduction

But it’s very thinly veiled

When he falls for you you know exactly how much he likes you

Which is a lot

Later during a quiet moment

Maybe you’re falling asleep with his cassettes playing softly

You can tell him not to do that again

How worried you are, how stupid it was, and that you don’t know what you’d do without him

Keep it brief though, he already knows good and well how much it scared you

Most importantly let him know how much how love him

How much you care about him, how much everything he does means to you

And that you’d do the same for him

“Uh, no- no way. The whole point was to keep you away from bodily harm.” He’ll chuckle, half joking, fingers tracing your neck and jawline

“Okay,” you’ll reply into the crook of his neck, “next time, we come up with a plan b where both of us avoid bodily harm. Deal?”

“Yeah,” he’ll say softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “deal.”

Oh god his feelings for you are so overwhelming in that moment

They're swirling around him like a typhoon

He’s so focused on your touch, your breaths, the warmth coming off of you that it just washes over him

All he can do is hold you close

He knows he has no idea what the coming days will bring

But he’ll be damned if you don’t face it side by side

[thalassic-p4rk]

I Have Time || 10th Doctor x reader (oneshot)

A/N: howdy! this is my first fic ever, so its gonna suck ass but that’s probably okay. Originally this was going to be about Rises the Moon by Lianna Flores, but i figured this was more fitting :) pls leave comments if you want more stuff from me, or just things i can improve in general. maybe if ppl like this, i’ll write another one. but for now, allons-y!!

Summary: Ten handles the death of the Master about as well as you’d think, and falls into a depression. One night, the reader comforts him after a nightmare about the past that recent events have brought up.

Warnings: depression, anxiety attack, nightmares, insomnia, accidental s/h

W/C: 1,147

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Master was dead.

You were sad, yes. But you had only known him as a maniacal tyrant, as the man who killed your people by the millions. And although you had barely survived, trying to get by post-apocalypse, you were the only one to remember. All the dead had been brought back, the planet reborn and memories wiped from everyone’s minds except you and a select few. From your perspective, you considered everything to be even now. You could shatter into a million tiny pieces with ease, but nonetheless you were always quick to pull yourself back together and move on, so that’s exactly what you did.

So it was ironic, but not surprising, that the ever-stable Doctor was having trouble with that.

It broke your heart seeing him like this. Your Doctor, always such a strong, unmovable support, who always had a smile on his face despite the unending grief that seemed to have taken up a permanent residence in his warm gaze, was completely and utterly broken. Sometimes, when he was asleep, you would step out of the Tardis, wherever you were parked, and scream. You screamed, yelling profanities at the sky. You cursed the universe, unable to comprehend why it was putting him through this. Your Doctor, your beautiful, wonderful, kind, lovely Doctor, did not deserve this. He did not deserve any of this. You were angry at everyone and everything, because he didn’t have the strength to be.

It was one such night. He hadn’t left his room in the Tardis all day, and you were angry again. You couldn’t let him see you break down. Not when everyone always depended on him constantly. Not after he had already helped you through so many panic attacks and depressive episodes. He always took care of you and everyone else in this blasted universe, whether they deserved it or not. Now it was your turn to take care of him. If he saw you like this, he would only feel more guilty. You just... felt so helpless. You would give anything to help him. Anything to make him feel better. If you could take the weight off his shoulders and carry it yourself, you would do it in a heartbeat. You let out another sob. You hated feeling useless, hated that he had to go through this, hated that there wasn’t anything else you could do to help him. You take a deep breath, and let it out as a shaky sigh. It was probably around two in the morning, and you should go back inside. Your silk pj’s did nothing to ward off the chill.

As soon as you close the door behind you, you notice something is wrong. You scan the room, immediately alert, but you can’t pinpoint anything in particular. It just feels off somehow. You hum in interest, before deciding that you’re too tired to care. You take slow steps down the corridor to your room, paying rapt attention to any subtle movements or noises. 

Nothing.

You huff and open your door, taking a step through the threshold. You freeze.

Was that a whimper?

You halt all movements and hold your breath. A low whine reaches your ears, coming from across the hall.

Coming from the Doctor’s room.

You turn on your heel and take off sprinting for the door at the end of the hall. You don’t bother knocking, your panic and sleep-addled brain running on pure adrenaline. You open the door and let your eyes adjust to the dark. 

A part of you dies at the sight in front of you. 

His eyes are squeezed shut, nose scrunched up in a way you would usually find adorable, but now it just made him look more pitiful. He’s whimpering and writhing on the bed, tangling himself in the sheets and trapping himself further. You jump into action, running over and sitting on the foot of his bed, before noticing the fresh scratch marks running down his arms. Did he do that to himself? 

Studying him carefully, you notice tear tracks running down his face and his teeth biting down hard on his bottom lip. He goes to tear at his arms again, and you brace yourself, knowing this was going to be a struggle. You grab his wrists in both hands and pull them above his head. He continues his thrashing, and while you hate to make him panic further, you know it’s necessary what you were about to do. You push yourself up on your knees, still pinning his hands above his head, and swing your leg across his waist, straddling his torso. You carefully avoid sitting on top of him fully and cutting off his air flow, instead merely hovering above him, as you scan him for any other injuries. Besides a bloody lip, he seems to be otherwise alright physically. 

He’s still thrashing against you, but now you have the advantage and move both his wrists into one of your hands. You use your newly freed hand to gently touch his cheek, wondering for the second time that night why he had to go through this. You make shushing noises, trying to calm him. When that doesn’t work, you maneuver next to him, and wrap your arms around him as gently as possible, trying to convey a sense of safety. He slows his thrashing somewhat, seeming resigned.

An idea pops into your mind, and you think of a song from Earth that you sang to yourself when you were frightened as a child. You let go of his arms as he calms down a bit and bring your hand up to his hair, running your fingers through it soothingly. You take a breath, lean into his ear, and start quietly singing.

The lake sort of knows me.

You can feel the instant he wakes and becomes aware of his surroundings. His entire body goes lax in your grip as his honey-colored eyes flutter open.

Was it you who promised time?

He looks at you, warm eyes so full of grief and he lets out a shuddering breath as the fear leaves him.

Lead me to a land so green,

His mouth opens to say something, but nothing comes out and you just hold him tighter.

So she’ll stay awhile.

You kiss his forehead, drawing constellations on his cheeks, his nose, his lips, with your fingers.

Please take me there, I am ready.

He curls up into your chest as you continue to pet his soft, mussed up hair. 

The ship sways, 

You rock him gently back and forth, back and forth, to where the melodies of the song would end and begin if you were playing guitar.

but the heart is steady.

His breathing evens out as he slips back into sleep, this time more peaceful, listening to your single heart beating.

I have time.

-fin-

[ghcstvalleychief]

I love your account one of the very few ones that has no filter and is direct. I have seen so many accounts be like they don’t owe you anything “BOC & MA don’t owe us anything”….😒. Or others like “do you guys want them to finish filming the movie or not?” As if they didn’t go for a vacation for a whole week lol

Someone made a post bc they didn’t agree with another account(that said that this whole mess could have been avoided if BOC was better at communicating) ….? Like …?

I’ve always said it if you don’t agree move on make your post individually and block the person. The way they act like self righteous ppl defending that company and their mess. The internet is free and you can give opinions on everything and anything but tagging a post and acting like you are a much better for supporting Boc yeah nope….. it’s funny tho

I really do hope that MA know what they are doing, M clearly knows and is try to work around the family agenda as for A I feel like they are using his past experiences against him and believe me I’ve gone through that and it’s not good.

Im gonna stick around just bc I truly believe in MA they are such lovely ppl and amazing actors. hopefully M sees through the BS and moves and takes A with Him 😩

It's a blessing and a curse honestly. It can be a good thing and a bad thing to be so direct and blunt. Believe me, that's always been a problem for me growing up. That was always something the people around me trying to snuff out, but it didn't work.

I never understood this idea that BOC doesn't 'owe' us anything. If I'm paying for a service, I expect to get the full experience. If I'm putting money into the pockets of a man who's probably already far more wealthy than the majority of KP fans, then I absolutely expect to be impressed and catered to. They want your money. They want your support. What kind of bullshit is that? You're buying tickets to a world tour. You're buying merchandise on said world tour. You're spending your hard earned money on this entire thing. Why wouldn't you be the main priority here? If the fans stopped talking about this show, if they stopped talking about this stupid tour, how long do you think it would take for this world tour to implode? How long until the entire company falls apart as a result of lack of fan interest? The fans spread the word of everything having to do with KP and BOC. The fans are doing that. BOC wouldn't survive if the fans didn't do that. That's a fact.

To each their own, but I think that's absolutely asinine personally. I've been trying to limit my fights on the internet these days, so I've taken to blocking people. Yeah, I know some people think that's a rather extreme reaction to a minor disagreement. However, people get downright nasty sometimes. Yes, people will immediately resort to ad hominem attacks over something as simple as an opinion about something that doesn't directly affect any of us. So, I agree, anon. Block people and move on. Hell, I've even blocked BOC. I never know anything about what they post unless my mutuals start talking about it on my TL.

But yes, Mile is taking a very different approach to what's going on. It's almost like Mile understands what the fans have been saying this entire time in terms of promotion. The fans have made numerous statements about how incompetent BOC is when it comes to that, but I think Mile has actually been paying attention to the things we've been saying. I think he's probably been lurking around honestly, which is good. I know Apo is more willing to take the more neutral, diplomatic approach but that's only going to work for so long until it stops. Sometimes, you have to pick a side. Sometimes, you have to make a firm stance when it comes to most things. Again, he has every right to do what he pleases but ... Anyway, I'm in total agreement with you, anon.

You're your own biggest cheerleader. If no one else is going to promote and give you credit for your hard work, then you have to do it yourself. Toot your own horn!

[tainted-wine]

Oh wow first of all please let me congratulate you on your skill and good taste. I absolutely adore all of your hawks writing. It's so good and also hilarious when you want it to be. I especially love how annoyed he seems to get with song birds, and that low-key makes me wonder how he would be with a reader w a songbird quirk. Like he wants to find her annoying so badly, and in some ways he does? But at the same time he knows they have a lot of shared experiences as ppl with bird mutation quirks and that's kind of nice for him? To have someone to share that with, you know? Idk.

You're super sweet, anon. ♥

(This turned into a messy ficlet thing)

I don't know why I decided to make Hawks a songbird hater; it’s just a headcanon I decided to stay consistent with for whatever reason.

I've actually gotten similar asks like this and I'm currently hoarding them all in the hopes of one day making something out of it, because I love this idea very much. Hawks views songbirds as obnoxious hopeless romantics. Do they really need to be that loud about their love? It's like having the top 100 love songs playing all at once.

He already admitted that you were pretty cute when you both first met. Your wings were smaller and required frequent and rapid flaps, the opposite of his large and soaring pair. Very cute, along with your shyness in approaching a bird of prey such as him, but he promises that he doesn't bite. Then your singing began...

It’s instinctual, you say. Once your fondness for him grew strong enough, the urge to vocalize your love in the form of a song specially made for him became impossible to fight. He’ll predictably tease you at first. Creating a melody straight from your heart, the sound of your voice perfectly simulating the strength of your bond, giving other listeners a mere taste of a relationship they could not have. It’s corny, it’s sappy...

It’s so freakin’ sweet.

He blamed your quirk at first. It had to be some secondary ability that attracted whoever you decided to sing about, like some bewitching siren. It’s a dumb accusation; he trusts that you’d never manipulate him like that. It may even ignite a petty argument or two, but in the end, Hawks will accept it. He loves your song.

As wonderful as it is to just listen, he feels that he needs to reciprocate, but what is he gonna do? Sing back?? He doesn’t know how to do that. His instincts were telling him to show his appreciation in another way. 

It’s instinctual, he says. He expresses the joy he feels around you by performing an amazing aerobatics show. It’s quite nerve-wracking at first. So many daring maneuvers — twirls, turns, dives, and flips — all just to impress you. And he has the gall to call songbird traditions excessive? So many of these moves could have killed him if he didn’t time them just right! It’s so dangerous, so reckless...

So spectacular.

As exciting as it was for the two of you to flaunt your natural skills, both of your rituals felt incomplete. You wanted Hawks to sing back. Hawks wanted you to dance beside him in the sky. One discussion later, you both decide on...a cultural exchange of sorts.

You want Hawks to sing? You want him to sing? Even after he promises you that his voice sounds more unsettling than the screeching of violins in a horror movie? Fine. You even protest when he mentions practicing. “Just sing from your heart,” you say. Ugh, whatever. He warned you.

At the crack of dawn, Hawks does everything as instructed. He joins your side at the top of the Fukuoka tower, and sings his heart out. He sounds terrible, he’s certain of it, but he ignores his blush of embarrassment and keeps going, letting his passion guide him like you told him. 

His song is everything you could’ve asked for. His voice was shrill, unsteady, and had absolutely zero technique. But it was so...him. So Keigo Takami. The melody carries his courage and compassion. His tone reveals uncertainty in his singing, but it also reveals the raw confidence in his love and devotion. It leaves your heart melting, and before you knew it, you were joining him in a duet, trying your best to harmonize with his...erm...unique vocals. The song went on as the sun rose, prompting several noise complaints about a ‘dying bird that needs to be put out of its damn misery already.’

You give the flustered hawk a hug and kiss for that beautiful masterpiece. You also make sure he doesn’t see those complaints. He already feels awkward enough about his performance.

Alright, now it’s your turn to feel anxious. Very anxious. As Hawks led you to the seaside park, he reminded you once again that he doesn’t expect you to pull off any expert moves in the air. “If you’re really not sure what to do, then just follow my lead. I won’t do anything crazy up there. This is about trust.”

You trust that he’ll save you if anything goes wrong, whether it be during the warm-up or during the....oof, you shudder just thinking about it.

The first act has you taking off over the water, warming up your wings before your own little stunt show begins. Knowing your body’s limits, you focus on flight patterns and speed, pushing your flying abilities further than you ever have before. It doesn’t even compare to Hawks’s amazing moves — you were too scared to even attempt any of those flips — but at least you pulled off a couple spins, and Hawks looks captivated while watching from below.

You tried not to look out of breath already when it was time for act two. Hawks took flight, passing you and heading upwards. You followed, mirroring every single one of his little tricks (he thankfully kept his promise of not doing anything crazy) as you both flew higher and higher until the air became uncomfortably thin. You’ve never been this high up before.

Reaching the desired altitude, Hawks took your hands and locked them in his, bringing you in close. He gives you a few light pecks while praising your skills. “I’ve never seen you zip around like that. Such a quick and clever little bird.” The flattery almost distracts you from the final act, the part you’ve been dreading the most.

The very idea of the Death Spiral still sounds utterly insane, even as you’re about to attempt it yourself.

All you do is hover and hold each other for a minute or two, then Hawks gives the unspoken cue. His wings fold in, you quickly follow suit, and you’re both plummeting down headfirst toward the water. You did end up screaming halfway down, but at least you were still able to remain fairly focused until the end. You were just a few meters away from impact when you and Hawks simultaneously released your grip, just barely righting yourself before you could make an embarrassing splash.

Hawks tackles you hard into the ground the second you’ve recovered, hugging you tightly and attacking with rapid fire kisses. 

“You did it, baby!” Kiss. “That was so intense!” Kiss. “I never thought I’d find someone to do the Spiral with!” Smooch. “You’re so brave. Thank you for trusting me!” Mwah. 

You’re shaking too violently and need to go find a bathroom immediately.

---

And that’s how you and Hawks became mates and learned to better respect each other’s bird traditions. Hawks now owns a songbird calender that hangs in his bedroom.

[kendrixtermina]

Three Hopes Live Reactions Part I  - Azure Gleam

I’m doing the routes in reverse order of how much I like each house leader, saving the best for last - plus, I’ve heard that while the other routes are good, Azure Gleam sucks to the point even the dimitri stans are torn on it. 

“claude time? Claude time”. claude continues to be the worlds funniest person.

This is not at all how I’ve been imagining Byleth’s voice all this time. Gotta check if the jp one is better. 

“Finally a protag with a personality” people said, and then it’s a Bland generic hot blooded hero. Then again, I’m biased as someone who actually liked Byleth. 

i hate it when ppl accuse less expressive characters of having “no personality”. I like them because they require paying attention & reading comprehension to puzzle out where they’re at. Also, i instantly assume you would be one of those ppl who bullied me in highschool for being “weird and creepy”. 

That said, it is a good thing that they’re contrasting, I like the basic premise of seeing a different side to all the characters because you’re interacting with them from a different PoV

Here’s another hint for the dummies that the point of the bandit attack was to make the church look bad

And we see right away how shady they are in how Shez is essentially bribed to avoid bad publicity

It is funny how Shez has a mostly good impression of the house leaders whereas Byleth smelled their hidden skelletons right away

As if poor, poor Dimitri needed yet more terrible backstory stuff

So we found out Conelia’s real name

At least Dimitri is given a reason other than naivity for why he patiently waited to turn 18 (unlike Claude, who was already half ruling the alliance, and Edelgard who was making takeover preparations) - it was mentioned in some dialogue from the OG game that Felix wanted him to take the throne early. Though, while wanting to prevent civil war gives him more understandable reasons, it's still a *tad* naive. If he knew there'd be a fight & didn't prepare for it.  

we actually get to kill kleiman? i mean an execution after a trial detailing what he did would have been better, but ill take it

...captured? Aww :( 

doesnt having drawbridges than can be lowered from the outside defeat the pont of drawbridges?

I would have expected Dimitri to have more of a reaction to the “I should have killed you at duscur”. Like holy tomb scene style. Though I suppose that was preceded by a long pile of stuff that simply did not happen here. 

the casual “i agree that i should have died that day” tho :( 

Still, again, he was much more shocked to learn of Kleiman & co being behind it in the original game. I feel like the drama & emotional torque are just not up to standards.

MASSIVE props to Dimitri and Rodrigue for not doing a coverup here / wanting to disseminate the truth to the people. 

I suppose an explanation for the plots moving quicker here might be that the agarthans might have wanted to watch and wait on Byleth. Who should be cluelessly frolicking in the meadows somewhere now

Though calling off the academy phase early means the students from the different houses hardly knew each other

I hope Scarlet Blaze will explain why there were 2 years between the takeover and the war, though I appreciate that it wasn’t forgotten that Edelgard’s war declaration was adressed at the central church only and that the Kingdom did not HAVE to get involved. Like, the fact that the war escalated to the point that it did was always 100% on Dimitri. I blame him alot more her than in the canon timeline, tho, because there he wasn’t in his right mind, which wasn’t his fault. Don’t get me wrong, Edelgard knew she might end up fighting the whole continent and wilfully chose to risk the consequences of that but it was never about conquerring the neighbors.

So Dimitri never snaps in this one. Which is interesting, but also they’re gonna have to work hard to keep it from being boring. 

It makes sense that he wouldn’t, he thinks he’s fulfilled his vengeance already - Rufus and Kleiman were responsible. 

like, there is a lot you could fill out here for more efficient emotional torques. fanfic writers get on it

Like emotional torque wise there seems to be a chunk missing where he reflects on this or whatever. But I guess at this point he didn’t know Shez well enough to get into it. He may have discussed it with Dedue or Gilbert.

I like the nod to Crimson Flower with Seteth & Rhea asking Dimitri to let them hide out in Faerghus

Aaargh the discussion on wether to remain neutral was so painful to watch. It’s a horde of conservative old men and a boy who was obviously raised by / guided by them. but this was precisely the attitude he showed in the crest conversation in the OG game. He always was this half-assed  centrist guy. 

Even if you want stability, I’d reckon that No War would be better than War. He could just deal with uprisings if they happen. He frankly got steamrolled/ talked into it by his elders. 

This is precisely why edelgard is onto something with getting rid of hereditary rule. Dimitri is on all accounts a good, charitable and empathetic person, but he is simply no leader, at least not one suited for times of crisis. He would be a great middle manager or something, but he lacks vision.

Seriously, is Sylvain’s dad someone you should listen to?

Something in the OG game is that he didn’t get to implement a political platform or even have one cause he was busy losing his marbles. So here we see his politics & they’re consistent with early game Dimitri - he’s certainly pacifistic, idealistic & fair-minded - he did some good stuff making stuff more egalitarian fixing the duscur situation etc, but he’s painfully naive. 

Horrible as it sounds, I think Dimitri sort of became a better man by the end of AM than he is here. The humbling did him good (as did being 3 years older)

Not to get too down on Dimitri. He acts like an average 19 year old would which I suppose is what makes him "relatable". Whereas Claude and Edelgard are wise beyond their years, or rather, they have exceptionally self-reliant and resilient personalities.

But this does sort of offer a glimpse of how things may have gone for CF!Dimitri. Though he’d still be considerably less hinged than here. 

the lore tidbits on the different territories in the kingdom were neat. so we know how to describe the landscape in fanfics

Hubert looks so hot, the 3D model more so than the portrait. I love that he picks Petra/ generally has this respect for her when they’re on the same side.

Felix telling you to give ppl gifts is surreal XDD As is Dimitri advising everyone to stay calm. They did pretty much end up going in very different directions.

So the recruiting works here by persuading ppl in mid battle? That’s kinda a lot more unrealistic than getting them on your side after, like, winning their trust after living together at the academy. Makes them seem rather indecise and half-hearted imho, or the whole thing too much like a gimmick. i dont like it. they dont even all get ambivalent-sounding dialogue

Rhea is really channeling peak blue diamond in whinging on how she doesnt wanna sacrifice cyril’s life to save hers after he already took the rear guard

“Skirmish in the fog” shows a rather more pragmatic Dimitri - I can’t see his late AM self “ok to slaughter a 100 to save a 1000″ that was his whole opposition to edelgard. He’s gone down a rather different trajectory here.  He didn't snap in this one but neither did he learn the humility that comes with regret. He’s more pragmatic, yes, but also more conservative. I can’t see this Dimitri inventing constitutional monarchy like his AM self. 

So far I find the characters to be in-character but the writing weaker overall at least in terms of emotional beats. Like if they had inserted just a few scenes of Dimitri reflecting on what last happened...

Even in the OG timeline Dimitri was someone who emphasized listening to others - which can be a good thing, sure, but it can also backfire depending on who the others are.

I really appreciated the scene where Felix calls him on how playing politician doesn’t suit him, & you do get a glimpse that he’s no less soft on the inside, also very in character for Dimitri to blame himself for killing Rufus through the man treated him like dirt.

I love Ignatz’ lil hair decorations~ 

“If Hubert couldnt beat them nobody could have” such faith aww

And here’s Lonato making trouble later than the last time. Appreciate the irony: They thought not taking the church in would cause rebellions, but so did taking them in. Now they have rebellions plus war, ppl defecting to the enemy. 

17 year old Dimitri was a lot more conflicted about axing Lonato. Though I think the difference is mostly a bit more impulse control. 

Is that Byleth? I did not see this comming. 

That thing with Miklan came out of nowhere. Wasn’t he like a horrible bandit famed for all sort of atrocities? Yuri’s dialogue in that chapter in particular...  It’s not inconceivable that Dimitri somehow brought him into the fold, but this is kinda random & cheapening the drama/ bit of a half-assed plot thread. 

this this could have worked great if there was more than a throwaway line

This game seems determined to tell us everyone’s middle names

So there is the explanation. Being captured by your abusive father after you escaped him must be a nightmare, even if you’re a bandit who needs locked up. Not that Dimitri would get it, he is mister unwanted pity. He didn’t get why Edelgard would rather die than be captured alive.  I guess this somewhat explains it as a Dimitri pacifist thing. Miklan’s essentially been put to do community service. It’s an ambiguous situation really, like the punishment is fitting, he did enough to deserve far worse - it’s a mercy.  I just wish his father weren’t involved. We’ll see how this goes. It could lead to redemption.

this is very very dimitri thing to do. guilt fueled, merciful, idealistic & zealot-like at once - I like that the connection to Rufus was explicitly made. 

Dimitri still hates/judges himself/ regrets it even after he did get his revenge on a treacherous family member. And this is even though he got one who was actually guilty (and actually his relative) this time, compared to the misinformation and projection fueled crusade against Edelgard in the canon timeline. 

Felix got a point. At this point Dimitri is listening more to Gautier senior and Gustave than to his same-age classmates. 

Sylvain’s analysis about how Miklan was basically given the position out of tokenism tho... well, he’s optimistic about it - maybe he feels he needs to be, out of guilt, but that’s kinda what it is. Still, it’s some improvement compared to before Dimitri’s rule. The random duscurian generals are proof of that - though you’d think there’d be more NPCs grumbling about that. 

still, It’s like the blue Lions go their very own Jeritza now

Finally we've been granted our longtime wish of stabbing Bernadetta's dad, ig only in a side mission

Once again Dimitri promises to help you with your vengeance quest. But Shez is alot more chill/ambivalent about it. 

Going straight to thinking about hiring the Eisners however is also very him. 

Byleth seems so wasted as just an ordinary soldier when you know what a terrifying general they can be. Though one sees also how their time as a professor softened them up, which didn’t happen here. 

Bernie is trying very hard to be a general... :( capturing her seems so mean

Love how Felix recognizes Jeritza by his sword technique

That bit were Sothis took over was absolutely terrifying. So she could have...

the sreng thing is a new plot twist so no way to predict how that goes. i love how sylvain is in no rush to go rescue his father

oooh a trap, thats what it was. seems like its time to mop up cornelia

if there was such a threat of sucession crisis, why has no one yet badgered dimitri to go make royal babies?

i do appreciate that Shez is so chill about everything. 

And of course Dimitri has to be so Dimitri about everything and let himself get captured to protect the citizens. About the Dimitriest thing he could have done. 

its a bit of a missed opportunity that cornelia doesnt taunt him about the Anselma/patricia situation though i guess that plot thread was too diffuse for them to try to un-tangle it

Time to go liberate Fhirdiad again. If only it would stay liberated for a while. 

Again Ashe gets props for being the one to worry about poor Dedue

i love how out of place the agarthan tech looks and how no one can quite describe it

i love how mercedes makes a point of telling Dedue that hes important, too. 

Again Dimitri has way too many people willing to pep talk him. But I guess he does need all the pep talks he can get. Still he is so not cut out for this job, insta regretting and agonizing over all his decisions. 

AH. Now she is teasing him about Patricia. But not that she was a co-conspirator. I guess she’d rather sick him on Edelgard at this point.

Only Dimitri would sigh fondly about getting a dressing down by Felix. He’s so hopeless. which is endearing in its own way.

They’ve locked Bernadetta in the shed? Or most likely she fled there. I love how she & shez bond over having no sense of orientation.

So anette has a cousin who ran off to be a musician

Not sure - on the one hand it kinda spoils the “they blamed the minorities” aspect of it, though the disproportionateness of the backlash is certainly not erased by that, the brutal collective - on the other hand it’s the sort of politically inconvenient, narrative-defying complexity that can occur IRL and be a mess for the leaders to spin. It is realistic - like pointing at one minority criminal to justify demonizing a whole people. It was an attempt to do complexity but realistically invoking the party that did the mass murder just a few years back would have been political suicide for the duscurian leadership, or, seen differently, it kinda makes it look like Duscur is basically still a vassal state. Why isn’t the possibility of complete independence brought up? Guess Dimitri couldn’t convince all the old lords to agree and didn’t want to go against all of them in his usual wishoe-washyness or something.  I appreciate that they’re trying to do complexity here but it might have been done better. well. video game writers are not necessarily into political theory/discourse. 

Though this is another instance of the emotional torques just being done better in the OG game. Let Dedue be conflicted over sympathizing with the insurgents but maybe chosing to oppose them for the sake of stability; Let Ingrid reflect on how she gets why they hate Faerghus given how prejudiced ppl were including herself in her younger years. Let it ~land~

wasnt Duscur described as a more arid region in the supports from the OG game? Im dissapointed that it kinda looks like everywhere else.

That said, props to Dimitri for wanting the Insurgent caught and put on public trial rather than just axing him. Big political show of punishing only the guilty rather than the indiscriminate retaillation of the previous regime. Though again, better yet if the duscurians had their own judiciary & THEY put him on trial. 

I do appreciate how Dedue tries to act all stoic throughout but then in the end he cracks & wants to visit the once destroyed flower meadow from his childhood days :( I appreciate how the pair who used to hate him now volunteers to come along as moral support, but they should have at least asked if he wants to go alone. 

It’s a sensible direction to take him on this path, but I#m a bit sad that Felix while still being the same fierce pragmatic person, has basically completely gotten over his whole rebellious phase, even going so far as to align with his brothers’ knight ideals.  He isn’t recruitable in this game so we can’t really get Rebellious!Felix. I guess with the academy phase cut short & other developments happening Felix never got the chance to get serious about cutting ties with his house, it’s unrealistic that he would ditch his childhood friends after just 2 months as opposed to a full year & a charismatic figure like Byleth being involved. I always thought defector!Felix making his own path was the more interesting version of his character. 

Ah. Edelgard has come to mop us up personally. Things are about to get phun. Very logical to come take out the kingdom while they’re busy with internal squabbles. 

This Dimitri doesn’t have any particular obsession with Edelgard - he hardly got to know her, and the misunderstanding never happens - he’s chasing the right enemy this time: Cornelia. Though overlooking an elite army to keep busy with interior squabbles is a dumb decision. This just proves all I’ve always said about how he just projected his mother complex onto her as his sanity went out the window. Here, the treacherous relative he chased for revenge was Rufus (who truly betrayed him, and truly is his relative) - so it makes sense that securing his position & chasing traces of Cornelia is more “personal” here than Edelgard. She is simply a rival - that is what she actually is, and how she thinks of him, so in a sense viewing her that way is a sign of this Dimitri being less obsessed, or channeling his obsession on other things. 

One has got to appreciate how chill Shez is. "Not really that keen on the bloody vengeance thing"

We just axed half the western lords in one battle....

So the agarthan shapeshifting involves literal body snatching?

Oooh. This is new. Obviously what Cornelia is saying here is a misdirection or misrepresentation to sic Dimitri on Edelgard, but I wonder if we’re gonna end up finding out what actually happened to Anselma. 

Since Cornelia only dies late in Crimson Flower she could’ve put that idea in his head in that timeline also. Or it was that Agarthan Abyss NPC who mentions failing & trying to sway Dimitri to ally with them. 

So Dimitri wants to Hannibal the imperial army xD You know what, I’ll allow it, if only for the reference value. 

Wait, is this NPC implying that Miklan and Sylvain are only half-brothers? Or did the Sreng raid happen right after Sylvain was born? If that’s the same epidemic that killed Dimitri’s bio mom the writers might have forgotten that Sylvain’s supposed to be two years older than the rest of the trio - also, didn’t he mention parents, plural, in his supports? They might’ve mucked this up. 

Bernadetta in the shed always cracks me up. All the former Eagles remember well how effin overpowered Edelgard is lol.

So Annette’s musical cousin is called Simon. Seems like runing away runs in the family * glares at Gustave * 

Presenting the Church paralogue, in which Cyril proves to have more braincells than all the Nabateans combined in deciding to bring Shez along

So apparently even Rhea thinks Seteth is overprotective

I love that bit where, after seeing Rhea fight some, Cyril starts wondering if she even needs a bodyguard

This sounds like Rhea still carries a torch for old Wilhelm. Poor Cyril got subjected to an impromptu history lesson.

I love Yuri here XDD

So Ferdinand got his butt kicked by Claude.

And this is Linhard’s dad? He is tall indeed! I could picture Linhardt looking very similar when he gets to middle age. 

Never thought I’d be agreeing with Miklan of all people but his analysis of Dimitri is spot on. He knows he’s just a token figurehead. A quota appointment. He’s an irredeemable jerk but I feel sorry for him. 

I wish they could be bothered to tell us the name of Dimitri’s Bio mom btw. 

Well, RIP Miklan. 

And true to form, Linhardt is complaining. <3 Never change <3

I love how the Hevrings both run away. 

And here comes the main event!

So apparently Felix has been wanting to kill Ferdinand since the academy ‘cause he’s annoying. Gotta uphold his big fat meanie zuchini reputation, I suppose. 

argh. Thales that motherfucker. But of course. Edelgard is a thorn in his side, if he takes her out after Dimitri’s softened her up, he can assume command himself. 

Dimitri can’t make up his mind. One moment he wants to finish Edelgard the next he’s playing Big Stronk Man Protector. After so many of his soldiers died fighting her. 

I guess Thales didn’t dare do this when she got wounded at gronder because the rest of the Eagles were with her. Particularly Hubert, who is tied up with the alliance front. 

Guess they’re gonna mostly be fighting Thales now, who will prove a lot worse now that he’s unchecked. 

Or wait, she’s not dead? Did she transform to get away from Thales? WTF happened? I guess it’s ambiguous on purpose. 

And of course Dimitri has to be dragged to his escape by Shez - sounds like he’s pretty busted up himself tho, he didn’t win by much

Looks like Dimitri is actually catching onto the Agarthans this time. 

Ah so rather than take command personally Thales has gone back to his old puppet, Duke Aegir. Best to stay out of the limelight one supposes.

Oh. OHHH. OG FUKKKK 

This is worse than death. 

I never want ANY of you fuckers calling Edelgard stubborn or otherwise giving her shit for for chosing death over being captured alive EVER AGAIN. 

But of course. They put a lot of ressources into creating her. Makes sense they’d want to get some return on their investment after all. 

If Dimitri had truly cared, or knew the first thing about her, he would’ve slit her throat before letting Thales get his hands on her again. He didn’t save or protect her at all by deflecting those fireballs, only prolonged her suffering. 

“citizenry grows quickly resentful of his brutal manner of governance” No shit sherlock. Especially after they’ve had 2 years of freedom and equality. 

Nice job breaking it Dimitri. You just handed Adrestia to the tyrants. Was taking in Rhea to secure your divine right of kings worth all this??

I’ve been saying it from the first, the war was not a one-sided affair. Edelgard knew it would be the likeliest result & accepted the collaterals, so she is responsible, but so is Claude breaking his neutrality because he’s opportunistically plotting to take over (for his own grand noble ambition) & Dimitri for refusing to let go of the old order (or a personal grudge, though this is less the case with this version). As well as Rhea & Thales for making Fodlan an unstable pwderkeg in the first place. 

Don’t get me wrong - Dimitri is a nice, sincere guy trying his best. I can’t hate or blame him personally. He just didn’t think things trough ‘cause it’s beyond him, not as a moral failing. He is a product of his surroundings & relative to those he is much better compared to the culture that produced him- besides, his hopeless overemotional manner is quite endearing. But he is just. Not. Leader material. I guess from a storytelling perspective its compelling to see someone without leadership talent try & do his best, but if you’re going to ask me about who the best leader is, Dimitri is just leagues below the other two. Dimitri would be a good middle manager or enforcer, but not a policy setter. 

Hahaha Rhea is realizing that her Detective skills are just not very good

But this Dimitri is clear-headed enough to realize that the empire was infiltrated same as the kingdom was - to recognize the actual relationship between them & the slitherers. Granted, you’d have to have tomatoes on your eyes to miss it after seeing Thales try to off her. 

Thales probably meant to kill Dimitri as well. 

It’s worth noting that Edelgard had to be taken out of comission for Dimitri to seem like a hero. He’s incompetent but he’s the only one left who can stop the Agarthan’s anymore. In that sense at least he must be commended for raising to the occasion. 

OOO it’s CLAUDE TIME!!!! <3 <3 <3 Ok if he’s getting involved there should be far less dumb decisions being made in the future. Please, Claude, guide the manchildren Dimitri and Rhea with your supreme wisdom. 

I love his smirk. I love his lil eyebrow gaps. Claude Khalid my Hero Man <3 <3 <3

I love how he just brazenly probes Dimitri’s loyalty to the church. He’s basically suggesting they dispatch her after they win, is he not? 

I repeat: Claude Khalid My Hero Man. & look how smooth things go once the three non-adrestian powers are an united front. Or rather, once Claude wants one. I’ve been telling the No Reading Comprehension brigarde from the start: The neutrality wasn’t just feigned. He wants the same results as Edelgard but doesn’t have faith in her methods. And also he doesn’t trust anyone. He’s waiting opportunitically & if the person who comes out on top is reform-minded he’d ally with them. Now the Empire has gone full evil under Aegir, Edelgard is basically dead whatever sad pupettry Thales is doing with her empty shell, so, it’s clear that only defeating them will lead to a good outcome. 

Not even Dimitri is dumb enough to assume Claude won’t doublecross him

Sounds like the population of the Empire thinks Edelgard is still running things... and like Ferdinand and Hubert... well, best case they fled, worst case they’ve been dissappeared. If I were Thales I would definitely kill them. They wouldn’t accept what’s going on. 

Aaaand another NPC with a random tale of Dimitri doing nice things for randos, what a chronic hero he is

Ah, they clarified it. So the idea is supposed to be that Sylvain & Miklan were only half brothers. I think that kinda cheapens the crest being the deciding factor. To no one’s surprise their father didn’t seem to have batted an eyelash at Miklan’s demise. 

the alliance soldiers all hate the kingdoms food lol

Seteth thinks its sus that Claude doesn’t pray enough. like there are valid reasons to suspect him but that isnt one

Dimitri continues to be a workaholic. no matter his spouse outlives him in all the paired endings

Kudos to Lorenz for wanting Ignatz to keep talking to him normally XDD That particular friendship has always shown his better qualities.  

Lol @ Rafael for wanting to be paid in ham XDD Though I suppose Lorenz would have access to, like, really fancy ham. 

Lorenz’ dialogue in his paralogue is hysterical. 

Managing to annoy Shez has got to be a kind of archievement

Alas this hints at a lot of whats presumably going on in the alliance route that i havent seen yet

Oooh. Lorenz is putting the pieces together. Guess this time they decided it would be fun to have him present when his father’s dastardly deeds are uncovered. 

It’s a nice detail that Claude’s uncle apparently died trying to defend the merchants. However, i would have liked to see the Agarthan involvement hinted in the shadow library documents hinted at.  It kind of was (I suppose that the implication was that the mysterious emissary was an Agarthan, but Lorenz’ dad not really knowing about it seems like a copout) i kinda prefer my own headcanon here. Or that Lorenz’ Dad pretended not to know. 

i prefer to think that Lorenz fed them all the ham equivalent of the extra fancy wedding ring from his S support. 

Aegir and Thales be war-crimin’

Dedue’s put it together that Edelgard’s probably dead, out of power or bodysnatched. Thank you, token level-headed person. Which at least avoids a cliched repeat of Azure Moon’s plot in which Dimitri waltzes in and finds the person he’s been wanting revenge against has been effectively dead for months. That could have been interesting as a tragedy tho. like fortinbras waltzing in at the end of hamlet. 

is... is that just the traditional gloucester hairstyle??

They seem to be going with a willingly evil reading on Anselma here. The letter showing calculation. Not as helpless as Dimitri supposed in the hapi support. It was my headcanon that that was cope, but I thought it was merely that, a headcanon, cause I didn’t like that they made her seem innocent & thought it was way too unrealistic that the KING can’t be alone with his WIFE. I mean was Cornelia watching them fuck? Probably not. 

I’d say Cornelia was bodysnatched soon after curing the plague (”she asked no reward... at first”) suggesting it was already Cleobulus who ordered Anselma brought. Though the dsplay mae to Hapi suggests a self-rightheous human played like a fiddle by Cornelia rather than an Agarthan. 

I like that she continued to be characterized as weirdly distant (as per the Mercedes support) and that Dimitri’s rosy memory of her seems to have been cope. Again that was my headcanon cause it just fits how Dimitri acts, but I didn’t expect to see it confirmed. 

Looks like Thales is going to be the endgame villain for this route so he will probably spit out the whole truth before Dimitri axes him. 

of course they could do the reveal that cornelia somehow wrote that letter

Thank you Shez for pointing out how unforgiveable Anselma is. 

“I don’t forgive her for how she treated me” - thats a BIIIG advancement from Academy Dimitris rose colored memory

I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT! I wrote this whole fanfiction under the presumption that Anselma mistreated Dimitri & he was just in denial. 

I mean she left him to die in cold blood. A little kid who adored her & tried to get along despite his hurt feelings.  It was not hard to deduce. No one who did this could be a good person. If she was an innocent victim motivated by maternal feeling, wouldn’t she take pity on a motherless child? 

very Dimitri of Dimitri to be worried about Shez’ feelings after getting such a bombshell dropped on himself. 

At this point if it turned out that Edelgard actually killed her, i wouldnt even be mad. 

Kudos to Sylvain for pointing out that theyre giving the church a looot of power

Anyone who halfway knew Edelgard is suspecting that she’s been axed.

I mean, as far as I’m concerned she IS dead. That’s not her anymore. Not in any meaningful way. 

Aww I love how Flayn and Dedue are standing next to each other... Thales’s rule is so bad it’s turned Flayn off off pacifism.

Randolph’s been letting the defectors defect. That sounds like him. I wonder how he and Ladislava will die this time.

I love how everyone’s elders have slightly faded/greying versions of the fantasy hair colors.

also like how they elaborated a bit on Sylvain’s longstanding ambition to make peace with Sreng. one wonders if he could have accomplished it without the unification of fodlan - obviously after that, they could haul goods from the warmer regions to trade/share with the srengians. 

The writers seem to have forgotten a bit that Gautier senior was supposed to be an asshole who treated his sons like tools. It’s ok to show nuance or even redemption, I, but the assholishness hasn’t been shown, acknowledged or adressed in a while. 

Good thing that Constance is in day mode, that version of her’s prolly easier to recruit lol

So Lambert also had no Work-Life balance

Af if Dimitri and Felix weren’t enough, Rodrigue seems intent on adopting Shez xDD

Randolph is really a good guy, being this honest. 

So Byleth ALSO thinks the blue hair looked better on them XD

Look at Seteth stealth recomending the strategy book he wrote in his Saint days XDD

That bit with Petra visiting the site of her father’s death & philosophizing about it was a nice touch

Poor Dorothea :(

Love Ashe & Dedue conferring about how to fix Dimitri’s pen breaking problems. But I suggest against naming it, if he does break it ayways then he’ll feel super guilty XD

constance is one amusingly loose canon

thank you, mercedes, for keeping the nerds focussed on the mission. though i shouldnt talk being a distractable nerd myself

This is truly the alternatest of timelines. Though from what I’ve heard this has 2 separate endings depending on wether you axe the Eisners or not, this lets player didn’t seem to have known you could spare Jeralt. 

You know, it strikes me that Sothis, too, seems to have had significant character development in the OG timeline that she didn’t get here. You see a hint of this side when she wants the bandit in abyss executed. It’s striking that here she tells Byleth that she could have prevented this when in the OG timeline she tells them it was inevitable. Also she refused to possess them. She seems... more fierce, like you can tell she’s Rhea’s mom. I used to think that the bad stuff was all Rhea, but now I’m thinking she may have been not so unambiguously benevolent in the past, for all that she does have a level of actual care. 

I appreciate Sylvain being very strict & fierce in telling shez not to guilt-trip themselves. He saw his friends go down that hole. 

Poor Shez, cause, he was clearly starting to think of Rodrigue as a father figure, but not as long as Dimitri or the man’s actual son. It’s this crap situation where you’re definitely grieving but also arguably the one least affected. 

ive looked it up - apparently you have to avoid triggering the ambush and make a beeline for randolph. then the Eisners surrender and you can hire them - Dimitri agrees to keep them out of Rhea’s sights, and thus everybody gets to keep their dads. well, back to the former lets play. ill miss out on hearing what byleth says if theyre standing around in your camp but im sure someone will upload the “recruit byleth” variant eventually. back to the first lets play for now

Apparently if you recruit them you find out that their favorite flowers are sunflowers. Awww. 

I’ve looked it up and apparently, Azure Gleam is the route where it is the hardest to recruit Byleth. Makes sense since Jeralt is hiding from the church. 

Ah, Felix, ever the voice of reason

Claude doesn’t beat around the bush, he just straight up says, “the people calling the shots for the imperials”

So Rhea’s comming too to nab her monastery back

That bit where Marianne mentions how Hilda came to check on her tho <3

Kudos to Dorothea for sparing a moment of silence for Hubert and Ferdinand who were almost certainly dissapeared by Thales and dumped in unmarked graves

OK that is beyooooond fucked up. As far as I'm concerned Edelgard died at Arianrhod. That reanimated meat puppet isn't her anymore.I just hope there isn't enough of her left in there to be conscious of what's happening.

I’d say Jeritza is the only one from whom this mid battle recruitment makes sense solely because of Mercedes and Constance  

Caspar’s dad is a noble man indeed. He knows Adrestia is finished

Let’s appreciate  the boundless irony that Byleth willingly becomes a vessel in the timeline where they never interact with Rhea. 

It’s a nice detail that her hair turns back to blue after she dies. 

This is supposed to be Dimitri’s route but it feels like Claude is the real MVP here. Every single useful plan came from him. 

Ok, this is worse than Azure Moon, actually, cause at least there Rhea steps down, only 3 of the main characters are necessary deaths, & Dimitri implements some proto-democratic or constitutional features. In this one, nothing changes other than that Adrestia's wiped off the map and what's it matter if its two territories or one? One could theoretically hope that Claude assassinated her & tracked down Shabhalla, but there's no guarantee. There's no guarantee that the peace between the Kingdom & the Alliance even held, it's kind of implied that it might not. The best case scenario really is, "Everything stays the same & Dimitri is remembered as a somewhat upstanding King" - One in a line, not a radical break. It's a status quo ending. Mildly improved status quo, I guess, I'm not saying Dimitri's reforms were nothing, but, its pretty bad.

I wanted to strangle the youtube commenters that were like “finally all 3 lords survived” I would not consider Edelgard alive in any meaningful sense of the word. She’s been dead for 6 months as this point (and everything was worse off for that). Being a vacant meat puppet is not being alive. Plus it’s heavily implied that Claude might well turn on the Church & Kingdom.... this is a pretty bad end. again, its objectively worse than azure moon or heck, even silver snow. 

heck they didnt even answer the anselma questions or tell us how she died. 

Well. onto golden wildfire. Who better to cheer me up after this debacle than Claude Khalid My Hero Man <3 <3 <3

[frogboyandzombieface]

okay tough guy, you think you can get me every time? bet. 1-30 for the asks <33 >:3

YOOOUUU!!!!! BENNIEEEE 😭😭😭😭💖💘💕💞💘💓💘💞💕💘🥰i love u so much i aDORE you 

1. what song makes you feel better?

hmmm uhh probably lemon demon songs cuz like they are so fun and nonsensical and it sorta startles me into feeling happier JHKFDJKHF like mask of my own face i LOVE IT. or deep swim by windows 96 its a very chill song good to help come down from dissociation or panic attacks

2. what’s your feel-good movie?

coraline all the way LMAO i just love it. or tbh the IT movies cuz i just love the little kids!!!!

3. what’s your favourite candle scent?

IDK i love like nearly all the scents theyre so good but ujhmm uuhhh pears 😳😳i actually do adore french pears, i have a lot of stuff to make candles and every time i make candles i cant resist using french pear as a scent lolol

4. what flower would you like to be given?

as i told u before i Luv bottlebrushes and waratahs like 😳😳omfg but i actually do love lilies too or crane flowers !! they look like birds !! i fucking love crane flowers fhjjhfjkhfg

5. who do you feel most you around?

you <3333 BUT for ppl irl definitely my best friend who ive known since i was a baby and my cousin we’ve been a trio for ages i love em fjhkgjkhg theyre the only friends that ever stuck with me lol. anywWAYS ima stop myself from oversharing lol

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical).

GAH u sneaky little bugger... okay i will try

1. i rly like my eyes hfdjhkfdjkh

2. i actually dont mind my legs that much i like em! 

3. i rly like my eyebrows fjhkgfhjgf

4. uuuhh i like my puzzle skills (like puzzle games and jigsaws etc) 

5. fuck the non physical is so hard uh,MM?? its scaring me that its so hard lol but i like the way im willing to make friends with all different ppl

6. i like my passion for plants and animals ig hfhhg

7. what colour brings you peace?

GREEEN !!!!1 i fucking LO V  E green at the moment like my favs change sometimes for colours but i love green its such a nice calming colour and plants are green so :))))

8. tag someone (or multiple people) who make you feel good.

OHHH i wonder WHO to tag wow this is SO hard i have absolutely no idea who to tag for this................................................  @cinnachee (duh) BUT ALSO !!! @yearning-and-arson @autistic-ace-bee @lifewasawillowtv @zombiewheeler @iinkycat and literally ALL my mutuals and followers ily all <33333

9. what calms you down?

ummm music, podcasts, having a fan running (usually in summer tho) someone telling me a random story for distraction, playing maybe a game of sudoku (i luv sudoku i actually play it a lot) i guess are some things fjkhgkjhg

10. what’s something you’re excited for?

UHH my work is opening up a new store closer to my house that im gonna be working at in april and im excited !! because the new people who own the one im currently working at are FUCKED they keep fucking everyone over with shifts and they are such tightasses we have like mice upstairs and downstairs and water flooding from air conditioners and other shit but im not gonna go on a rant about my work lol.. already annoy the shit out of my friends enough with it HAHA BUT IM excited to get out of this shithole and go to the better one !!! AND OF COURSE SEASON 4 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BYLER !!!!!!!!!!!!! MAY 27TH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 

11. what’s your ideal date?

LITERALLY ANYTHING except like a fancy restaurant i dont like that shit... i want fun stuff yknow or just where we CAN have fun yknow? like we could straight up just go to a 7-11 and get a slurpee but as long as we have fun while doing it and get to spend time together then i think its a good date :)) like thats what i think it should be abt like spending quality time wirh ur partner (though i wont say no to like dessert dates like going to get ice cream or crepes etc .... i love the idea of dessert dates :’) ) 

12. how are you?

umm idk i could be better lol. on my period so i feel like shit and i also got my booster shot so i feel doubly shit lol and i havent done a single bit of drawing or writing today its just... ug h. like i really want to but every time i opened it up to try my brain said NO lie down on the couch and just do nothing productive... fucking  khjjkhjkhhjkfghjkfghjk but hopefully ill feel better tmrw 

13. what’s your comfort food?

ASIAN FOOD FJHFGJK like omg rice paper rolls or japanese food or like beef and blackbean noodles... literally God. though a nice good bowl of curry too GOD i love curry but alsO CHOCOLATE AAA esp like a nice choccy cake... BUT ALSO I LOVE FRIED RICE DISHES ??? or PAELLA? is also comfort.. im just as bad as choosing a fav food as u bennie HJKFDSKJHFDKSJ 

14. favourite feel-good show?

stranger thinGSSSS OF COURSE FJKHFJHK i watch it daily.. but also the office is nice too :)) i actually realised recently tho i dont watch tv shows all tHat much?? i watch more movies than shows,, like i can think of maybe 5 tv shows ive ever watched LMAO idk why ive never really watched many tv shows..

15. for every emoji you get, tag someone and describe them in one word.

???? i literally dont understand this.. for every emoji i ‘get?” like every emoji i have in my recent or are ppl sposed to send me emojis ?? or do i choose one for someone? i dont understand this im sorry bennie my brain has never been smaller...

16. compliment the person who sent you this number.

YOU ARE PERFECT AND SPECIAL AND AMAZING IN EVERY FUCKING WAY !!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !!!!! I LOVE YOUR MUSIC YOUR WRITING YOUR FACE YOUR GLASSES YOUR HAIR YOUR FASHION SENSE YOUR SMILE YOUR EYES YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR YOUR - i am stopping myself before this becomes an I Love Bennie essay

17. fairy lights or LED lights?

hmmm LED lights i think r my style im Edgier but fairy lights fuck tooooo!!!!

18. do you still love stuffed animals?

YEAH DUH???@?? who DOESNT? stuffed animals are so amazing and cute ands they slap sm... i still have nearly all my stuffed toys from when i was a kid i treasure them

19. most important thing in your life?

ummm i dont really know?? like.. i guess having a good time yknow? like doing what i love and spending quality time with friends and fam when i can but also spending quality time with myself too, and not letting other peoples opinions influence that unless i want it as well.. i guess love is at the core of it lol . and that means all types of love, platonic and familial and self love as well as romantic because they are just as important !! though you dont have to love your blood family if they dont treat you good found families are just as valid !! 

20. what do you want most in the world right now?

to see u 😭😭💞💖💗💝💕💓 KJDHFHJK but also to like. be normal i guess like no mental illness cuz it would mean SO many things in life would be so much easier but ik thats a futile dream so like !! yeah BUT LIKE BENNIE U HAVE NO IDEA HOW BADLY I WANNA MEET U KFHJKFGKH LIKE HOLY SDHIT I GENUINELY LIKE WANNA SAVE UP FOR PLANE TICKIES TO CANADA FHJKGFJLG 

21. if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

umm enjoy life as much as you can i guess .. enjoy your youth even if your childhood was fucked up by that thing , dont let it stop you from being a kid still. and also you are going to become emo . ended on a lighthearted note lol 

22. what would you say to your future self?

idk honestly i just hope shit is going well for you and got to do what you wanted, or at least youre happy lol 

23. favourite piece of clothing?

my chokers !!! i love them !!! but ALSO i have these fishnets with butterfly patterns on one side of the leg and ITS AH FDJKHFDKGJHGKHJD I LOVE IT its so pretty :’) 

24. what’s something you do to de-stress?

420 blaze it 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤪🤪🤪🥴😵🤯😩😧😩😨😨😞😱🤕but also playing this game called unpacking is sos sosososo good i love it , and listening to music in the dark too is nice 

25. what’s the best personal gift someone could give you (playlist, homemade card, etc.)

ANYTHING !!!!!! LITERALLY ANYTHING PPL M A D E FOR ME OR GOT FOR ME WITH ME IN MIND/z??234uiorudsfhjkdfjk LITERALLY FUCKING AMAZING FDJEJGHKKJHJKH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA like PL E A S !!!!!!! just anything l;ike that and i am MELTING 

26. what movie would you want to live in?

uummm honestly beetlejuice. its so fun you get to haunt ppl when you die and its so fun and whimsical and id probably just start crazy shit and be Chaotic

27. which character would you want to be?

is this one related to the previous question? cuz if so BEETLEJUICE DUH FJGJHK you can do all this weird ass shit and you live in a coffin HELL YEAH 

28. hugs or hand-holding?

UM im not deciding thanks both of them 

29. morning, afternoon or night?

NIGHT BABBYYYY always nighttime im a nocturnal little shit

30. what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

you honestly cuz like i wake up to ur msgs a lot or come home from work to em like i look forward to it so much throughout the day <333 BUT also like .. listening to kurtis conner’s podcast too definitely and homemade mugs and stuff you see in shop windows and getting like eggs and bacon etc on toast at a cafe too.. definitely some things that feel like home <3 BUT also the beatles too.. listening to their music just like unlocks some deep part of my soul hjfhjkjhkG ive been missing them lately but i do nOT want to go back to the fandom atm..