#i already feel like my progress has been very slow (i know logically that i'm not going slowly. but it just feels like i am)

[the-consequence-of-imagination]

Since labotor posted the fairy race mod yesterday and I had to scramble to update the THS custom races patch bc I COMPLETELY forgot I said I'd add lab's fairy race to it I wanted to make my half-fairy half-dragon oc Itheel... and then I went and started making her hair because nothing was close enough.

I realized Isobel's hair is actually pretty close, just need to add the bangs (which currently are edited from Qelira's hair, and I got the bangs for Qelira from Gortash's hair) and the braids (from Lae'zel of course).

This is just the first in-game test; it obviously still needs some work, but the fact that everything is pretty much functioning as it should on the first test is nice. I've come a long way from spending days just trying to get the mesh to show up at all!

Now that Padme's bangs mod is out, I might also work on a version of my hair extensions mod that uses bangs & other parts from my OC hairs (because the closest we have to anime bangs in vanilla is from Ballerina Buns, which *is* in Padme's mod, and Gortash's which I'm surprised isn't in her mod). It will be a separate mod from KHE, though I'll probably call it "Kay's Hair Extensions - Custom Version". I still need to work on the helmet hair version as well (the helmet hairs are NOT autosnap, and I haven't decided how to go about dealing with it.

Also, no Qelira's outfit isn't done; editing the dye masks is proving to be a pain in the ass because for SOME reason (I think the shader has something to do with it, the bg3 equipment generator defaults to using CHAR_BASE_AlphaTest on all the textures and when I changed it to CHAR_BASE the way it interpreted the dye mask colors changed) the game can't tell the difference the primary/secondsry/teriary colors (no matter what shade of blue/purple I use, it reads as leather secondary), and like, I'll use a color channel dye to help see what color it's actually taking, and it's got separate dyes for cloth/leather/metal/other/custom, where when you dye the item Red is primary, green is secondary, blue is tertiary, and everything else is black. Well, I'll use the leather dye & some parts are green, and others are yellow???? And even aside from the color frustration, I would like for the coat to have physics but getting the waist area to cooperate is not going well. Clothing in general just seems more complex than hair ._.

[clonerightsagenda]

I'm really grateful I have a group I'm already involved in right now, because I'm seeing a lot of despair and "I don't know what to do" and "I'm the only one in my community who feels this way", whereas we're like. well. we know what to do. It's going to suck, it might not work, people are going to get hurt in the meantime no matter how hard we try to limit the damage, but we do know what we need to do.

The reality is, this is not a mobilization problem. It's not going to get fixed by convincing more people to go to the polls, or if a few third party voters had held the party line, so you might as well stop blaming them. Actually unfortunately the next steps rely on stopping blaming individual people, but go ahead and take however long you need to get it out of your system. I get it.

As I said, it's not a mobilization problem. A large portion of the population voted the way they did on purpose, and a big reason for that is because for a large portion of the United States population, life kind of sucks and has been getting worse. The Democratic party has failed to run on a coherent narrative of why this is and how they're going to make it better. The Republican party, on the other hand, has run on a very strong narrative of how they will make it better by getting rid of all the things and people who are to blame. It's a narrative that has worked for a lot of groups in the past. It's working now, in the increasingly polarized social media landscape, even in demographics Democrats have typically considered safe. Everyone loves the luxury of having someone to blame.

Unfortunately, the fix to this is long, and slow, and hard. It's not begging politicians for scraps. It's getting offline and going outside. Talking to your neighbors about their lives, their fears, their needs, and what kind of world would meet those needs. Even the one with the Trump sign in their front yard. Some of these people are in it for the racism and the cruelty and siphoning everything to their rich cronies, but a lot of them are struggling and desperate and grabbed for the life preserver someone threw them, even if it's secretly stuffed with arsenic. If thrown a different life preserver, they can be convinced to grab it.

And no, it's not ok that they decided to shove vulnerable minorities' heads under water just so they could theoretically get theirs. You're allowed to be angry! But unfortunately further isolating these people only pushes them deeper into the fascist movement ready to embrace them. They need to interact with real representatives of the groups they've been trained to blame and fear. They need to be given a different narrative with real solutions, but screaming it at them on Twitter won't do it. Long conversations where people take their hardships seriously but direct them more constructively might.

That's not going to be easy. You may not like or forgive them. And not everyone can do this work! It's going to be safer for white, not visibly queer/gnc folks to make some of these initial contacts. (At one of our meetings, a femme woman of color was talking about canvassing transit riders and dealing with misogynistic comments and having to decide, ok, where do I personally draw the line saying I cannot work with this person versus being aware that a lot of people are not steeped in politically correct language and can change. It's a tough line to walk!) People also aren't interested in answering their doors for canvassers these days, so organic social connections work best. Maybe you're talking to people in your workplace. Your apartment complex. Your neighborhood. Your own family. Maybe you join a book club full of seniors at your public library. Many people want positive change! My state notoriously always votes for progressive ballot measures and then turns around and votes in conservatives who try to dismantle them. There's a logic gap there, but in that gap is a potential for conversation, because we have places where we already agree and want to work together.

The theory here is, if we can talk to enough people, if we can build genuine real world offline connections where we agree on our shared problems and our shared desires for a better world and come up with solid solutions beyond pointing fingers, we can build a large enough coalition to start making demands, most likely through targeted disruptions (strikes, walkouts, etc.). The handy thing is, if you can get that many people demanding something, it doesn't actually matter which party is in power.

Is that possible? I don't know! Organizing that many people is really really hard. It's hard reaching out to people who've just punched you in the gut. Some people will not change. Some people will have hard lines that don't mesh with your hard lines. And I'm certainly really scared myself about the likely takeover of all three branches of government and probable draconian measures against dissent. We're going to have to carefully consider risk/reward when planning actions and disruptions. We're going to have to fight through fear and exhaustion and apathy and pain and betrayal, and I don't know if we can. I don't know if I'll see something like this happen in my lifetime (although the UAW sure is gonna try in 2028). Hell I don't know if we'll have elections 4 years from now. But that's the path. If you're not up for walking it right now, that's fine. If you're not up for walking it ever, ok. But I don't think there are any shortcuts or miracles. This is what we can try, and if it fails, at least we did what we could.

(If you see this post and your instinct is to reply with some variation of 'nice speech but we're all fucked and might as well give up', I understand why you feel this way. It's a feeling a lot of us are struggling with right now. Take the time you need to take care of yourself, and when you're ready, you can come back and we'll be happy to have you.)

[leveebreak-s]

if you know me in real life KEEP SCROLLING i'm so serious. look me in the eyes. please ignore this one. if you read this and i find out i'll probably block you i'm sorry (that includes you nemo)

jimbert nonsense under the cut. zeppelin mutuals if you have thoughts please share them, especially @incredifishface and @tangerina24 i'd be very happy to hear from you.

Tea For One becomes so loaded when read through a Jimbert lens. I'm not saying the song IS a jimbert song, only that it COULD be, and that reading it that way is compelling and at times confounding

first of all, genius says the song is about robert missing his family while he's on tour, which seems valid on paper, but given the context in which it was written doesn't seem like the most logical interpretation to me. presence as an album was written when robert was recovering from his accident, wheelchair bound, and unsure if he would ever be able to tour again. there was very much an atmosphere hanging over the band and robert especially that this album might be their swan song. he was staring down the barrel of an end to life on the road, life in the band, life with jimmy. it's a very melancholy song and i would describe the tone as...defeated?

Like, given that the man is newly homebound, I think it's safe to say that what is making him feel "this way" is not the carnival of life on the road but the isolation and loneliness brought on by pain and temporary disability.

Sittin' lookin' at the clock

Time moves so slow

I've been watchin' for the hands to move

Until I just can't look no more

How come twenty four hours

Baby sometimes seems to slip into days?

A minute seems like a lifetime

Baby when I feel this way

I guess this is the part of the song that leads people to the conclusion that the song is about missing his wife and children while on tour, but "now I can't get back again" ? Again, on this album he's confronted with the idea that he might never tour again. He's very much about to get back again.

There was a time that I stood tall

In the eyes of other men

But by my own choice I left you woman

And now I can't get back again

I have more thoughts on this but for the purposes of this post i digress. This song could be about Maureen. I'm not trying to prove that it is about Jimmy, I'm just trying to prove that reading it that way is interesting.

the idea that their glory days are coming to an end are all over this album. hell, the first song is called achilles' last stand. and that song is definitely about robert and jimmy, as fishie and leds have already so eloquently proven. the end of the dream. time to ramble on. by my own choice i left you. "and now i can't get back again" does indicate that robert has some pretty mixed feelings about the possibility that this is the end. on the one hand, he's ready to assert himself independently, break free from their covenant, prove himself beyond the band. on the other hand, having his autonomy in the matter ripped away from him is not what he wanted. and i'm not just talking about the injury keeping him from life on the road, but from his partnership with jimmy which is, in jimmy's eyes, inseparable from their working together.

this is my favourite part of the whole song and also the one i find the most confounding. BY THE BY the chord progression is the same as on "since i've been loving you," which according to jimmy was done on purpose, as an exercise to see how different of a song they could make with the same chords and many years of songwriting behind them.

To sing a song for you

I recall you used to say

Oh baby this one's for we two

Which in the end is you anyway

is it: i recall you used to say "oh baby this one's for we two" which in the end is you anyway? or is it: i recall you used to say "oh baby this one's for we two anyway which in the end is you anyway?" this stanza really invokes jimbert for me. I am thinking about the dynamic between the two of them in the beginning. jimmy as a sage who plucked robert from relative security, found him, saw him, made him who he was at this time. robert as an acolyte but also as a young god in his own right, once a student and still a devotee but now an intellectual equal.

"this one's for we two, which in the end is you anyway."

in the end, "we" are something that you created. you birthed this, turned our lead into gold, created me in your image, and you will be the one to tend to it for all time. maybe "we" weren't even real to begin with. maybe "we" were only ever a product of your vision for world domination and eternal life. if THAT's not about the end of jimbert (the first season anyway) i don't know what is.

idk if anyone will bother to read all of this but please know that i wrote it in like 10 minutes off the cuff so if it's a bit incoherent i apologize i just have a LOT of feelings about this song. if i got anything wrong please let me know or *hope beyond hope* if anyone wants me to say MORE about it let me know because i could go into a LOT more depth

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Hi, there!

I don't know if your free readings are still open, but your blog showed on my dashboard three times in a row, so I'm taking it as a sign ✨

This week I had a hard time dealing with a bad habit I'm trying to get rid of, and I failed, several times, I've been feeling guilty since then. So my question is, are my deities and guides mad with me for this?

I'm currently worshipping Apollo and Hekate, if that info helps.

Thank you very much beforehand! 💕

Heyo! Sorry this took so damn long anon- in fact, whether or not your comfortable saying if this resonated I'd really appreciate you shooting me an ask when you see this just so I know you got it! I'm so worried that you won't because anons don't get notifications, lol.

However, this took a while for good reason! I do shorter readings first and I wanted to specifically give more time and effort towards yours, the same amount as a paid reading, since honestly it hit close to home for me. I understand the worry that your deities might be angry or upset with you, so I just went ahead and did a full reading for this one. (Although, there's no channeled bits for each card like in a paid reading and instead I just put one bit from Hekate at the end!)

As always, my Ko-Fi link is at the bottom to tip if you want to and are financially able, or for anyone who sees this and wants to check out my paid readings! There's no social pressure however, I just want to make it clear from the beginning. <3

That being said, Hekate was the only one who stepped forward, for this one, so all of the cards are from her! Here's your reading;

Are you mad at or upset with them?

Strong no on this one. I later asked Apollo to make sure that I could add him onto this and he said I could- neither of them are upset with you in any way.

What do you have to say about their feelings of guilt?

Four of Wands: Home, Backbone, Foundation. This card feels like a bit of advice to try and stabilize yourself. You don't have to worry so much, so take a deep breath and try to stabilize those emotions. This card has a bit of an emphasis on home and a sense of security, and it feels to me like Hekate is telling you to find that within yourself and within your deities; they're not going to be angry or upset with you. Accept who you are, because they already do. This quote straight from the guidebook feels incredibly relevant to me: "Celebrate your wings, no matter how large or small they are. Embrace any mistakes you have made- they are what make you human!"

Three of Wands: Persistence, Anticipation, Progression. You're making progress, don't forget that! There's no need to feel guilty for falling back on bad habits when the fact that you're even trying is already huge! This is a card of steady persistence, and handling challenges. You're growing, and that won't happen overnight- slow and steady wins the race. Your thoughts are the beginning of actions, so don't discredit yourself for "failing" when you're thinking about working on a habit. That will grow into something great!

"What do you have to say about their bad habit and struggling to break it?"

King of Swords: Clarity, Mental Strength, Cerebral. This is a situation in which you need to be objective. Your guilt is clouding your vision, and it's easy to get wrapped up in it. Right now what you need to do is clear all that debris, and work logically with what you know. This could be a gentle nudge towards making a structure or rule set when it comes to this habit- maybe a plan for what to do when you find yourself wanting to fall back on it? This feels like encouragement to use your logical mind.

Queen of Swords reversed: Ice Queen, Judgmental, Detached. Apparently, Hekate really wanted to get the point across- another card encouraging logic and objective thinking. This card has a bit of duality, as it can mean you're either being too emotional- or not emotional enough and therefore forgetting compassion. I feel it's a bit of both. In the midst of your emotions, it's easy to be judgmental. Rather than lashing out at others like the guidebook suggests, you're lashing out at yourself. Don't be so harsh on yourself, even if it feels so easy! Remember the sort of compassion you would offer to others in your situation; you probably wouldn't treat them the way you're treating yourself. It might help to think of yourself from the perspective of a friend. You wouldn't be so angry with a friend for this, would you?

Six of Cups: Familiarity, Innocence, Nostalgia. When was the last time you really let your inner child enjoy something? Six of Cups is a reminder that it's not all work; take some time to enjoy yourself! Be silly, take comfort in the familiar childish things, remind yourself of simpler days. If you're missing the times in life in which you were more innocent, and more free- do your best to spend some time making those days a reality now. Take a day or even an hour of free time to do something you would normally deem too childish. Nothing is too childish if it brings you joy, remind yourself of that! There's always room for more joy, so open your heart and do something fun.

Strength: Fierce, Endurance, Courage. Strength is nothing if not a "you've got this" card. This is a reminder that you have the tools to thrive, even- and sometimes especially- when it doesn't feel like it. Strength particularly feels to me like in this case it's calling out your ability to tame your impulses, and exercise self-control. You can do this with grace and power, don't doubt yourself. Give yourself compassion and patience; you'll get there.

The World reversed: Final Stretch, Impediment, Hindrance. Don't give up! I'm not even joking, that sums up this card really well. You're so close to your goals, aaaaaand bam- you keep getting delayed again and again and it's understandably frustrating. It's easy to lose hope when you feel like you're going nowhere- but you're not! You're in the final stretch, or at least you're way closer to your goals than you think. Summon that strength from the previous card and keep going, it'll be worth it.

"Do you have any encouragement or advice for them?"

The Star: Healing, Inspiration, Serenity. This is a clear reminder that your deities have got your back through thick and thin. They're not so easy to offend or upset- they're right there for you! Trust in them, and trust in yourself. I don't quote the guidebook too often but this part felt too specific to avoid quoting: "Simply put, you are flawless. The world is ready for your transformation into the star you always knew you were." You may not feel like you always knew it- but your deities have. Be gentle with yourself, and recognize that you're just as valuable as anyone else, bad habit or not.

"Any final words to end this reading on a good note?"

Seven of Pentacles reversed: Wasted Effort, Restructure, Low Return. This feels like a call back to the card that may have been a gentle nudge from Hekate to build a structured approach to this habit. Looking into ways to redirect that energy or alternatives might help; come up with a plan. Right now effort might feel wasted, and creating a system to where you put your time and effort might be helpful!

Justice reversed: Injustice, Unfair, Delinquency. This card, admittedly, trips me up- I had to ask Hekate for confirmation with each interpretation of this card. Ultimately what she confirmed I should settle on was this: As hard as this is, you're being taught a lesson that is needed. Sometimes you have to go through a lot of struggle to change- it's best to accept that and work for it, even if it sucks.

Ten of Swords reversed: Victimhood, Restoration, Transformation. You're letting go of things that no longer serve you, and it's scary- but it's exactly what you need to do. Avoiding change would just make things worse, so let go of what is old and make room for the new. It'll be work, but the transformation that it will result in will be wonderful, so look forward to it!

And then a little channeled writing at the end for you from Hekate:

"You're not as irredeemable as you think. It's okay to fail every once in a while. It's okay to even fail often. That doesn't determine your value. What matters is how you handle that failure. Get up, let us lead you through the pain- you're strong enough to do this on your own. We won't make you. We want to be here. You're making more progress than you would believe. Push yourself, but don't hate yourself when you fall. It happens to everyone."

Thank you for sending in the ask, I hope this reading helps! Here's my Ko-Fi, as always, for anyone interested:

[dashawfrostart]

These Two-And-Something Weeks In "Time & Again" #26: PAGE LAYOUTS ARE DONE!!! And Some Ruminations of Lothar And Myself

I think it's plenty fair to start off this blog post with a happy and important announcement right away! So here it goes:

All the vector page layouts for Chapter 6 are now complete!!! 🥳🥳🥳

And it only took me about a week and a half on and off to do the vector templates for ALL 56 pages (yup... Chapter 6 is gonna be a total monster in terms of the page count; don't tell me later that you haven't been warned 😁). That happy happening certainly marks a very powerful and resolute beginning of work on Chapter 6. It scares me and makes me joyful at the same time, because, as already mentioned in the previous post, Chapter 6 has the full potential to become the absolute best chapter in the series. That is... only if I make it this way 😉 Not to mention that Chapter 6 is the largest chapter of all by far. 56 pages, I said - that's without the cover arts, title pages, bonus materials, and all the extras. In the future, it might only get outclassed by the final chapter, Chapter 8 - but we will see about that. YOU ARE HUGE!1!!111!!!!!11!.. (ok, this joke is a little on the nose, just as the rest of my Doom jokes as well as some Solaire of Astora refs. I will try to come up with more creative jokes and refs next time 😅) With such a high page count, I foresee a giant, supermassive amount of work that lies ahead of my little hands that hold the stylus pen. But that was my choice. It's not that I didn't know what I'm up to. So right on, brotato!!! 💪🥔 (sometimes I don't know where my jokes and references come from... My brain just generates the weirdest and the most obscure stuff to entertain everyone around)

After GPop Culture Fair was over (and I still have yet to write a log post about it - soon*ish, I hope*!), and the things slowed down a bit for me, I was finally be able to take a breather, to sort through my thoughts and ideas as well as real life endeavours, and to finally to set the wheel in motion for Chapter 6 of "Time & Again". I am greatly satisfied. GPop made me feel rejuvenated after weeks of being covered in dust and spiderweb unable to move properly. It made me remember that my story is pretty cool and it's worth working on! It made me remember that I still kinda like Lothar, that fixated bastard. I am extremely determined right now.

Now... I wanted to write a more volumetric techy part about creating page templates in Inkscape, for I've never delved into that in my blog posts before - but I realize that not only I'm lazy to do it right now, but it will make the post grow twice in size. As usual. Which I don't want to do right now. So I'll save that for the next post that's gonna be very techy 😁 For quite possibly, by the time the next post will be ready to be published, I will only have little progress in art for the chapter, so there's not gonna be much to show off. So I'll save my story about how wonderful Inkscape is for another day 😁.

Onto the other, thought-provoking news regarding "Time & Again".

"But what and when is the sign of enoughness?"

asks Lothar at some point of time in Chapter 6, being painfully torn apart by his inner demons and countless thoughts on purpose of his - and perhaps everybody else's? - life and struggles.

I ask myself this question, as well - and pretty frequently lately. But my reasoning behind asking this question is completely different. Perhaps, I have written about it earlier somewhere here, in my blog, or maybe not. But I've been trying to logically work my way towards the answer to this question of the utmost importance - yet, alas, the answer in front of me is approximately as vague as the narrative in the Dark Souls series. And it's as shapeless as a chunk of clay that's been warmed up in one's hands but left untouched afterwards for a week or two... Or like Zhdun. It's safe to say that Zhdun is pretty shapeless, too - like a bean bag chair (in fact, I think it's a conspiracy: Zhdun is, indeed, a bean bag chair. I have one at home, and it's grey, too).

If you look at the art style progression through all the chapters of "Time & Again" released from 2021 to 2024, you will see I went down the simplification route. While Chapter 1 was overstuffed with incredible detail (that was, unfortunately, unnecessary), Chapter 5 features a simpler, more "flat" chiseled art. Part of the reason why it got simplified is merely because I work alone, and it's not rewarding to go for full-on meticulous details absolutely everywhere, not to mention it doesn't have any significance for the story itself whatsoever. Another part of the reason is it's most likely not even needed: I truly believe that in art one has to be sufficient, but not excessive. In other words, balance is the key word. And this is exactly when our question written in large letters come into play. What exactly is "enoughness" is what I'm trying to find out for myself. This answer will be applicable only to myself, my art style, and my artistic values. The answer to this question is in no way unified, and it's different for everyone. Once again, I will refer to my all time favourite meowsterpiece, Atlantis: The Lost Empire. I want to make my art in "Time & Again" - and in all of my subsequent projects, as well - to be sufficient but not excessive. With my tendency to draw too many details when I'm especially carried away with the process of creation, this might be a challenge. But it will take practice and determination to rewrite your own thought patterns to tailor your perfect art style. The most important thing here is to keep moving. I feel like Chapter 6 will be important in this respect. My experiment should lead me to a certain - perhaps not final, but still important - conclusion on the eternal question of mine as of how much is enough. I don't even think I can explain it in words - you'll have to see the result. And I want it to be stellar in my eyes. This will take a certain amount of consideration, but it's important for me to resolve. Thank you, Lothar. That was a very good question. Now get in the effing robot and put yourself together already. Hmpf! 😤

I have a lot of plans for the future - and absolutely not enough time to complete everything, LOL. (such is a life of a responsible adult, haha) I'm planning to finally make a stunning comeback on YouTube - that's why I've been recording some of my timelapses. And I also have a giant list of "Time & Again" related topics to talk about. Gotta finally build that Q&A section for this blog that I planned to do long ago. Well, there will be time and place for everything, I guess.

For a farewell, I'll write a couple things about some videogames I played recently for an inspirational/recreational kick. While waiting patiently [no, who am I kidding? I am anything BUT patient about this!!!] IMpatiently for Soul Reaver and Tomb Raider 4-6 remasters, this crazy bird nerd played some incredibly entertaining Itch games starring bird characters. Kiwi 64 was a charming game to play that instantly made me think of the good old games by Rare, and also Yooka-Laylee (I really gotta return to the second one someday... that's gonna be my third attempt already 😖 I 100%-ed the first one, and it was a blast through and through - which is impressive for me, because I never do completionist runs, EVER). I really enjoyed Kiwi 64. And I also played Toree 3D, made by the same developer. Being utterly terrible at platformers, I only completed the very base of the game and unlocked only one of the extra characters out of two - but hey, I had a lot of fun! That game plays incredibly well, and the controls are incredibly responsive. The only sad thing is that the game lacks information in the internet, and I have a lingering feeling that it has more lore in it than appears on the surface... But I cannot really decipher anything. Well, to better! - my attempts to understand it will keep me entertained for weeks! 😁👍

That's all for today! See you soon! 😁

P.S. The only thing I don't really get is why Soul Reaver remasters are released on Doom birthday... Oh well.

[thoughtsaladblog]

Kinky or Creepy Thoughts?

Ok so a recent chat with Morally Grey revealed that he's not as into the morally grey sexual rendezvous as I might have thought.. and upon (feeling slightly let down) questioning him about it, he mentioned the burning and branding- and to be quite honest it made me take a step back too. I mean, am I really into that? I never have been. Frankly, the thought never crossed my mind until our chat reached a level of steamy flirtatiousness that I tried to keep up with by conjuring a series of wild ideas, I would never even think of on any other given instance. But once the thought came- as hesitantly as it did- it was implanted. And suddenly I toyed with the idea of it... And maybe it was the idea of having a brief sense of ownership and control, or something, but suddenly I was entertained by the idea.

Until I watched a Nordic Dark True Crime documentary and saw myself in some of the texts sent by the fucking murderer. Then I was like- ummmm .... maybe we need to reel in the monster. Psychopathic vibes much? I mean, ok I know I lack the criminal mind required to pull off anything drastic, and frankly my soppy, sensitive, morally righteous brain could never... But let's not forget the things that have fascinated me since I was a teenager. After all, we all have a dark side to us- some of us are just better at controlling it. Ngl though, Peter from the documentary really did remind me of Morally Grey- and his texts with his poor, unwitting girl toy ran very much on similar lines as our own questionable chats. Eerie.

But also- I blame modern fucking smut! What the fuck is up with these morally grey characters written out to be so perfectly seductive, that you forget your decades long love of Mr. Darcy and suddenly just crave to be ruined for other men by a narcissistic, slightly misogynistic dude with a superiority complex?

I think it was the fact that for the longest time I didn't think it possible that an actual man could fulfill or rise up to those characters- certainly not the disappointments that I've encountered thus far. So instead I set the bar insanely high, so as not to settle for shit like sex- but rather to wait for a Mr. Darcy who ain't never coming. But then Morally Grey shows up, and turns the tables on this tacit approach to my dalliances and suddenly I'm thinking from my hoo-ha and not brain. Which is never the place to make big decisions from.

But also, today's chat revealed something to me.

I mean, we already knew the guy was insanely smart, he knows it, he takes pride in it, he likes to laude it over others- especially women, and he uses it to get what he wants... and let's be honest, the guy can be fairly narcissistic; thanks to a superiority complex brought on by his massive brain and a misogynistic trait brought on perhaps by his bad experiences but also (let's be honest) his massive brain. So we knew all this. We knew he's a master manipulator. And apparently we still chose to be attracted to him- because I mean, why the fuck not, right?

But no, today's chat revealed to me that while all that is there... I think he is still in a place of emotional growth. I mean we all are- obviously. But I think that I have thankfully progressed to a point beyond where he is at (it's taken fucking long enough really). He's where I was at from 2016-2022... Whereas this year has been eye-opening for me and I've actually progressed to want to build connections with people. Do I believe in love? Not a chance. But I am willing to have a partnership with someone and learn and grow together with someone, while he's in his fuck all (and literally fuck all) era. And the thing is for all we know he may just want to stay there. After all, we are very different in our approaches to things- I tend to be more emotional and he's more logical and detached. So I'm honestly asking myself how I really feel about the guy? The answer so far is- still into him. What can I say? My heart is slow to learn. But I do also know, that this only means that I could end up growing tired of this soon enough. Right now I'm insanely horny for him, and I think its leaving me obnubilated- but I do believe that seeing as he isn't as freaky as I'd envisioned or hoped, I'm about to go in for some more mediocre sex... And then, problem solved. I'll be over him.

I honestly wonder how I am not a man? I mean, clearly i have the same get in, get off, get out energy as some men... but also the emotional turmoil of a woman, until that point- so I guess it makes sense I'm a woman.

Anyway, long story short- dude's still fucking driving me mad horny for him, I wanna have him fuck me till I collapse... But I do believe it's a dying attraction. At least let's hope so... before I end up in some murder documentary on Netflix for having narrowly escaped death because I was having a dalliance with a psychopath.

[selphiahaven]

Rune Factory 4 is my favorite game ever. The only thing I'd change is to have more interactions with Venti before she goes comatose. Like I'm supposed to give my life for her when I'm barely at 2 hearts? Really takes away from the story to me.

LET’S! TALK! ABOUT! VENTI!!

Dude I love this game like 5,000 percent but it does definitely have its flaws. I especially think there’s a l o t of lot potential that was lost with Ven and her relationship with the plot, but let’s focus on the issue you’re addressing: her going comatose without much a relationship with her. I totally agree. Let’s talk about it. LET’S A L L TALK ABOUT IT.

I’ll start with my long-ass opinion, but I wanna hear how y’all think about this. Because anon’s criticism is juicy. I wonder if other people would have ideas on how this could be better handled / if it even could be better handled than it is now.

Spoilers down below, so… Yeah, be warned about that.

I could make the argument that RF4’s plot is inherently flawed in design for the emotional weight that it’s trying to convey. Rune Factory 4 has an interesting dynamic where the “filler” is pushed into town events, where we can learn about all the different characters and their interactions before, after, or even during important scenes of the plot. Hell, you can participate in a festival and then decide to kick Ethelberd’s ass just to pass some time.

For some, this might be a good thing. On the other hand, you can clear through the game pretty quickly if you’re not dedicated to witnessing all the town events and hearing all the dialogue and participating in all the activities. Keep this in mind: the game expects us to believe that Frey/Lest would friggen sacrifice their life so that Leon can escape the Forest of Beginnings at the end of the first arc. This is how deep our relationship with Venti is supposed to go. Venti, however, remains comatose at the end of Obsidian Mansion until that moment. So given that, our relationship with Venti is supposed to be deep enough that we would sacrifice ourselves by the end of Obsidian Mansion; as we cannot converse with her after this point up until Leon is rescued. Frey/Lest refers to Venti personally after they have sacrificed themselves too, so it should be assumed that Frey/Lest did this act primarily for Ven’s sake, not necessarily for any other specific person in Selphia.

This immensely strong relationship doesn’t really seem warranted with such a quick plot in place. Keep this in mind: the first few playthroughs on Youtube finished Obsidian Mansion on the dates of Summer 4, Spring 29, and Spring 15. You COULD try and just mill around or experience the town to avoid the plot, but there are barriers: 1) At first, you’re only allowed one request a day, so you can’t occupy much time with that 2) Town events actually take a long time to trigger; you could wait uneventful day after day and not trigger anything at all. 3) Things like crafting and forging need objects that you can only find in dungeons as you progress the game, so you can’t bide your time trying to level up / get cool new armour/weapons either. At the same time, this game really, really shouldn’t push us to slow down by making some of these “extracurriculars” mandatory (Imagine the frustration if you could only progress the plot via way of “Memories” again and again).

So here’s the difficult question: How do we make Ven interact with the player more, earlier on in the story, without making the plot too long or too boring?

I was super interested in trying to think up with potential ways to fix a problem like this, so they are listed below. They may come with their own set of problems, but hey, it was fun to think about what could have been. These are all just casual suggestions, not meant to be taken seriously at all.

1) Trigger a town event with Venti early on. Like, within the first few days of playing. Remember “Shiny Memories”? Funnily enough, that was one of my first events triggered in my very first playthrough of this game. Seeing Ven save Doug from being a fukkin dork and falling off that roof really made me feel closer to Ven early on in game. It was definitely confusing later on though, when Doug got all pissy about Ven killing his village or something. I couldn’t believe Doug for a second because Ven had already shown kindness to him without need of recognition, so… Maybe making different, very casual, town events that don’t make me doubt the plot would be a plus.

2) Make a sidequest or two. What if Amber’s dungeon wasn’t the first dungeon you could go to? Or, even better, what if there was some kind of dungeon / area / plotpoint in the first arc that hints at what’s to come in the second arc? (Another big complaint of mine about this game is that Ethelberd seems to come right the fuck outta nowhere. But that’s a complaint for another time.) I’m just spitballing here, but having a few dungeons that are “just for fun” or even just to slow down the plot a bit could be a benefit; as long as they aren’t used in excess. Benefits could include rare crafting materials, or strong pets to use in plot battles. This might give players a few more days of interacting with Venven, thus, getting closer to her over time.

3) Swap the “Freeing Guardians” plotline with the “Finding Rune Spheres” plotline. In the first arc, we seem mostly concerned with saving the guardians, and then finding the rune spheres, and then saving Leon and finishing the first arc. What if you searched for the Rune Spheres first (Perhaps with a, hint hint, few more dungeons instead of using the ones the guardians are in?)? Picture this: Frey/Lest finds a sphere, and feels that it’s…very familiar, and very important, for some reason. But…What’s that? The sphere looks as if it’s kind of broken! As if there are other pieces missing… Aha! Maybe if you find the missing pieces, you could remember something! You go a-searchin’, and by exploring new dungeons, you have more time with Ven, and eventually stumble upon Amber by mistake.

4) Be risky with Ven’s relationship to the town. What if Venti resting on her ass and deciding not to be involved with the town’s affairs causes some unrest in Selphia? Not suggesting blatant fighting or anything, but basically like… People wondering why she can’t use her powers to help out people and make her town prosper? Maybe not having everyone like “Omg Ven!!! We love Ven, Ven’s so nice and loooove her 1000%” in the beginning. It’s cute and all like this, but like… What if Doug used her “laziness” to form a basis to his flawed logic? What if Venti was rumoured to have the power to, I don’t know, cure Blossom? Ven knows she totally can’t cure Blossom. If she was more powerful, maybe the runes in the Earth would make Selphia a healthier living space for Blossom?? I don’t know. But like. What if. What if Venti used to do all this shit to help the town, but slowly stopped. What if people think she’s just lazy. What if people don’t think she’s an angel 24/7. I mean, I get it. She’s a god. Before she was revealed to have a “cute side” to her, everyone thought she was this hard-ass or smth. But I mean. You can view your bosses or your teachers or your parents as people to admire, but still have complaints with them. You can love someone and still not understand some of their quirks. Ven could be a mysterious figure early on. Generate some interest about who she is or why she is. Then, when we actually are told “oh ye lol I was getting weaker all this time” it’s not completely out-of-the-blue because we WANTED to know more about her, because so many things already seemed strange about her.

5) Add some drama. Speaking of Blossom, why don’t Venti and Blossom have a tragic relationship? A heartbreaking relationship where only time will tell which one of them lives longer than the other? Make. Venti. Weak. Why CAN’T Venti show signs of weakness even before Amber is released? Picture this: In the beginning scenes, Ven shows off some of her power to Frey/Lest. Could be something fukkin basic; I dunno. Let’s use what’s shown in Shiny Memories as an example: Ven can use the wind to make people float a lil bit. Cool. That’s established. Few days pass, and the event Shiny Memories triggers. Ven DOES NOT help Doug, and he gets hurt. Frey/Lest confronts Ven, and wonders why she didn’t help him?? Ven tries to make up a lie, to show off that she isn’t as weak as she seems. When, in reality, she’s losing power and couldn’t help him at that time. Don’t want Doug getting hurt? What about an event where Frey/Lest just simply asks Ven to use her powers to help them reach a cup or smth from a high shelf. Ven grows weak, starts breathing heavily and struggling to maintain herself just by trying to use that simple magic, even though she claims to you that she’s fine. Here, Frey/Lest makes a promise to help Ven with whatever they are suffering with, but then Ven admits there’s nothing in Selphia that can help them recover. Frey/Lest acknowledges that this means that there must be something outside Selphia’s walls that could help Ven, and THAT’S when they decide to go to Amber’s dungeon.

6) Slightly change some of Ven’s dialogue. Venti has always seemed like a best-friend type of character to Frey/Lest. This would make sense if she was a goddamn marriage candidate (which she isn’t, ugh, I might get over this, one day), but since she isn’t, why not change her dialogue to be more motherly? “Frey/Lest, you’re doing such good work on the farm! I’m so proud of you!” or “Are you sure you’re eating enough? Please, take this.” or even like “I know this is a lot of work for you, please take some days to rest.” These are really cliche lines, but like, I hope you get the point I’m trying to make. A lot of Ven’s dialogue is really playful, which kinda makes sense since Frey/Lest is the only one to see the “real her”. But…at the same time, I can imagine us getting way more protective over someone who actively has been telling us to take care of ourselves over and over again. Ven kinda tells you to take care of yourself, sometimes, but there are times when she seems to be a bit… I dunno. A tsundere type, for lack of a better term? I mean, I think tsunderes are cute and all, Dylas’s dialogue is some of the funniest in game, but it’d be hard to convince someone to sacrifice their life for Dylas and only give them a month to get to know him, you feel? Meanwhile, I would murder ten people for Clorica. That’s not really on topic but it’s definitely a fact.

Who knows. Maybe the developers thought of these options and decided on this route because the other directions this plot could’ve taken had their own issues that couldn’t be solved. It’s fun to think of what could have been though. Highly recommend trying it.