phrapuzio

[feyriejane]

codependent relationships are such bullshit because what do you mean I can't sleep anymore?

[alj4890]

Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

(Maxwell Beaumont x Olivia Nevrakis) in a Choices The Royal Romance Crackship

Masterlist

Part 5

"Can I ask you something?" Riley picked up another stone to skip across the small stream.

"Sure. You can ask me anything." Maxwell tossed his.

"Have you ever been in love?" She asked.

**************

Ramsford...

"Maxwell? Hey!" Riley waved her hand in front of his face.

Maxwell blinked a few times as he slowly came back to the present.

"Good to have you back." She teased. "I was worried you were going to leave me all alone with our caviar creation."

She held up a container of paprika. "I'm also pretty sure you're going to make it to where my fingerprints are the only ones found on this so Bertrand will know who to kill if these appetizers don't come out right."

He chuckled while taking the paprika from her.

"Nah. I'd never let you take the fall for one of my ideas." He began to sprinkle a little on top of each spoonful.

"What else needs to be done?" Drake asked while coming around the corner. His nose wrinkled over their choice in food. "Or am I free to go?"

"Um..." Maxwell picked up his phone and breathed a little easier. "Oh thank God. Bertrand found a caterer. All we have to do now is clean up the place."

He slipped his phone back in his pocket then helped Riley and Drake put the trays of hors d'oeuvres back into the fridge.

Once Riley left to check to see what Bertrand wanted them to focus on next, Drake spoke up.

"You seem more distracted than usual."

Maxwell paused in scrubbing the counters. "I do?"

"Yeah. You're quiet. It's almost as if you're in deep thought." Drake added.

Maxwell shrugged. "I guess I have been."

Drake eyed him over the handle of his mop. "Is something wrong?"

"You mean beyond the obvious money woes of House Beaumont?" Maxwell quipped. "Or my brother pointing out every single mistake I make? The pressure he feels and is passing onto me if Riley fails to win Liam."

"We all know Liam's going to pick Riley." Drake reminded him.

He went back to mopping the floor and muttered, "Who wouldn't choose her?"

"I hope so." Maxwell completely missed the hint that Drake might have fallen for Riley too. "Then maybe my life can begin."

Drake paused once more. "Begin? What are you--"

Maxwell tossed his scrubber in the sink. "We should um, probably go see what Bertrand wants worked on next."

He hurried out before Drake could ask him to clarify.

Maxwell spent the next few hours trying to work alone. Normally he'd be over the moon to be preparing for the annual Beaumont Bash. He had a sense of pride that their parties were the ones held to end the social season on a high note.

This year though, he wished they could skip it completely.

It wasn't just the money troubles or the fact that Bertrand was one temper tantrum away from a massive stroke, it was the competition that was getting to Maxwell. He knew Riley and Liam were soulmates and honestly, he couldn't be happier for them.

His own happily ever after though seemed less likely to occur than ever before.

Ever since his conversation with Olivia on the beach, the two had not interacted. At Applewood, he kept his distance and focused on encouraging Riley. Olivia in turn did the same with him, yet she seemed to go out of her way to talk to Riley. Surprisingly, both usually were smiling and not in the I really hate you but appearances demand I look like I adore you type smile that many at court were forced to wear.

Maxwell was dying to ask Riley what Olivia said in those moments. He summoned all his willpower to hold those questions at bay and tried instead to keep things light and optimistic for Riley's sake. Bertrand was adding so much pressure on her as it was that the last thing Maxwell should do would be to involve her in his own miserable love life.

If anyone has a real shot at being with the one they want, it's Riley and Liam, Maxwell thought. So I should do all I can to make that happen.

He released a deep, heartfelt sigh. He knew it was pointless to pretend he didn't still want to do all he could to win Olivia. He was simply, for the first time in his life, unsure how to go about it from this point.

**************

The next evening...

Olivia took the lead of ladies walking into Ramsford. She glanced around noting all the typical decorations that the Beaumont's were notorious for. She knew that by the end of the night most of it would be strewn about, tangled up with the drunken people who would later try and pretend they were decent nobles.

She ignored the whispers of the ladies wondering what might happen tonight. She already knew they'd be beyond intoxicated before three in the morning. She could care less about the party or the food or whatever shenanigans the Beaumont brothers had up their sleeves.

She only wanted to see two things.

The first was to be able to observe more of Liam and Riley. She'd spent time since the beach watching them throughout the stay at Applewood. There was no denying the mutual attraction the two shared. Since Maxwell insisted that Riley was sweet, she began to go out of her way to talk to her.

As much as it galled her to admit, Maxwell was right. Riley really was sweet. Thankfully, she wasn't too sweet or Olivia would lose all respect for her. After interacting with her at Applewood, she realized that out of everyone here, she might be able to tolerate losing Liam a little easier if she lost to the American.

The second thing she wanted to see was how Liam and Maxwell acted with herself.

Her lips firmed into a thin line the moment she stepped into the ballroom. While the ladies behind her cooed over the decorations and Riley's sparkly blue gown, she focused on the one man who'd thrown her whole way of thinking out of whack.

Maxwell was beaming with delight over the praises he was hearing. As happy as he was, one would think he'd been the one to prepare the food and decorate the place.

Olivia waited until Bertrand pulled Maxwell away for a private word before approaching Riley. After a quick greeting that wasn't as smug or cold as she normally would have given, she sat down at one of the front tables.

It was the perfect vantage point to watch Liam. Her eyebrows furrowed for a second to see him in a tux that not only matched Riley's royal blue gown, but also the Beaumont colors. It was a blatant statement that Liam had not made for anyone else during the season.

It wasn't manners that made him wear it. If that was the case, then he'd have worn what she'd offered him at Lythikos. He was polite about the red jacket with black dress shirt and slacks, but told Olivia he couldn't wear it since he was supposed to be giving every suitor equal treatment.

I see that notion didn't last long.

"You noticed it too?"

Olivia looked up at Madeleine.

Madeleine's court mask slipped to reveal her obvious disdain. "I think it's in poor taste."

Olivia humphed. "I never suffered a moment of doubt that you would think of it that way."

Madeleine narrowed her eyes upon Olivia.

"This doesn't bother you?" She snapped.

"It's clothes, Madeleine." Olivia replied. "He's yet to get down on one knee and propose to Riley."

"I would have thought you'd be furious with this statement he's making. After all," Madeleine sneered, "you are madly in love with Liam."

Olivia glared at her.

"There's the reaction I was expecting." Madeleine needled. "I'm surprised you haven't challenged her to a duel."

Olivia's glare slowly turned to a smirk.

"It must be hard for you to lose out twice for the crown." She struck back. "Seeing Liam go ahead and voice his choice without saying a word probably makes you think how you'll have to return home in shame once more."

Madeleine stilled at her words.

"But you have parents who understand failure, don't you?" Olivia smiled at her. "I mean, they would have to by now, wouldn't' they?"

Before Madeleine could utter a denial, Olivia waved towards the back of the ballroom.

"Better go find your seat Maddie. One would hate to be caught gawking over the loss of another prince."

Madeleine stormed away with her head held high.

Olivia smiled to herself as she reached for her wine glass.

Tonight might not be so bad after all.

*****************

After dinner...

"Excuse me." Olivia glanced at Riley then turned towards Liam. "May I speak to you for a moment?"

"Of course." Liam still had a hold of Riley's hand. "It's been days since I've had a free moment to speak to, you, Lady Olivia."

Olivia watched as he leaned close to whisper to Riley. His lips brushed the delicate shell of her ear before placing a kiss right below it.

Riley's and Liam's eyes met in a heated exchange as she vaguely promised to think about it.

Olivia mentally rolled her eyes. Clearly they were planning a rendezvous. Any imbecile could see that. They needed some lessons in subterfuge if they were going to try and hide their mutual regard for one another.

It'll all be over soon. Then there will be no reason to hide anything.

She blinked over that thought. It wasn't because she thought about it, but rather the lack of emotion it evoked. It was as if her heart already accepted the fact that Liam was in love with someone else.

Her mind though, still needed proof.

Once Riley disappeared into the crowd, Liam turned expectantly back to Olivia.

The loud music, laughter, and shouts of conversations left little chance to discover if Liam truly felt nothing for her. Taking his hand, she pulled him down a hallway that led to the Beaumont's study.

Once they were behind closed doors, she perched her hip on the edge of the desk and studied her prince.

Liam lifted an eyebrow when the silence stretched between them.

Olivia searched his eyes. "You've made your choice, haven't you?"

"I..." He rubbed the back of his neck while a sheepish smile played about his lips. "I suppose there's no hiding it from you."

He gave her a decisive nod. "I have."

Olivia blinked over actually getting him to admit it.

"Riley is your choice?" She prodded.

He nodded. "I'm in love with her."

Olivia grimaced. As much as she knew this was the case, it still stung to have her dream destroyed in one conversation.

"Are you certain?" She found herself asking.

"I am." Liam grinned at her. "I can't tell you how good it feels to admit it to someone who is a close friend of mine."

"I can imagine." She mumbled.

Shaking off the sting of his declaration, Olivia asked him a question she hoped would help herself.

"How do you know that Riley is the one?"

Liam sat down on one of the leather wingback chairs. He propped his chin on his fist while staring off into the distance to think of how to answer her.

Olivia took the chair across from him and did her best to wait patiently for his answer.

"There are so many things about Riley that made me realize she is the one for me." He began. "From the moment we met, she has been all I can think about."

Olivia grimaced somewhat. If one were to go with her own mind, they would find it filled with Maxwell. It was irritating how often he took over her thoughts.

Liam's pensive expression softened as he continued to explain. "When we kissed, I felt an instant passion. Not just desire, but a need for it to never end, as if," he hesitated in trying to describe it to her, "as if my body only recognized her touch."

Olivia blinked over that. She recalled both kissing Liam and Maxwell the night of her ball. Of the two, Maxwell's had ignited a passionate response in her.

But is his touch the only one my body will recognize?

"The few precious moments I've had with her and getting to know the type of person she is, the more I want to be around her." He turned his attention back to Olivia. "I fell in love with her during those moments. Riley is everything my heart yearns for."

Olivia gave a brisk nod. "I see."

Liam reached over and took her hand. "I know that many believed you would be my choice. Most of my advisors insist upon you being my choice."

She stilled, not entirely sure she wanted to hear what else he had to say.

"If I had never met, Riley," he lowered his eyes to their hands, "I would have chosen you. You are one of my oldest friends. I trust you, admire your strength and loyalty, and believe you would make an amazing queen."

He lifted his eyes back to hers. "Now that I've experienced what love does to a person, how could I choose anyone other than Riley?"

Olivia squeezed his hand. "Of all the people I know, you're one of the very few I actually care about."

Taking a deep breath, she attempted to smile at him.

"And since I care, I actually want to see you happy. If Riley is what you want, then she is the one I hope you get in the end."

Liam's smile lit up his entire face. He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles.

"I care about you too." He searched her eyes. "I hope I haven't hurt you."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I've known for some time that you felt something for Riley. Anyone with half a brain can see it."

He chuckled. "True. I've never been good at hiding my feelings." He kept hold of her hand. "But, I would never intentionally hurt you."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Liam."

"I know." He gently let her hand go. "I wish that you could find someone worthy of you."

She hesitated. "I think there might be someone."

His eyebrows rose. "Really?"

"Maybe." She clarified. "I think I need to do a few more," she searched for the right word, "experiments to know for certain."

"Experiments?" He began to laugh.

Olivia glared at him. "Not all of us are so certain when it comes to love."

Liam held his hands up in surrender. "I meant no offense."

She eyed him to see if he was making fun of her or not.

He bit back a smile. "I simply never thought of discovering love as an experiment. I suppose it is when one thinks about it."

"How so?" She asked.

"There's definitely a chemical reaction." Liam teased. "Being touched by the one, hearing their voice, or simply seeing them across a room sets off endorphins. Everything in your body, your mood, your very way of seeing things in the world is altered by their presence."

He smiled warmly at her.

"I say perform all the experiments you need to know if you have found the one."

Olivia relaxed back in her chair. Seeing now that she wasn't being foolish in her path forward helped in her knowing what steps she should next take.

"I shall." She declared.

Liam rose to his feet and began to walk towards the door.

"Liam?"

"Yes?" He turned back towards her.

"Thank you."

He bowed to her.

"Anytime, your grace."

With another smile, he left her alone.

Olivia's pleasant expression changed to one of frustrated resignation. She supposed she'd hoped there was still a chance with Liam because he'd been the one her mind had accepted so long ago. Now, she could see that there really was no use in thinking like that any longer. Even if Riley were to refuse Liam's proposal, she knew she could never be with him.

Liam wasn't the kind of man to stop loving someone just because they refused to return his affection. Olivia knew her own pride and heart couldn't take being with someone who didn't care for her in the same manner. A Nevrakis either gave everything or nothing and expected the same in return. There was no in between.

"I can't believe it's come down to this." She grumbled to herself.

Of all the men she knew, there was only one who had given everything. To find out if she could do the same, she needed to test the waters a bit more.

"How in the world am I to get Maxwell alone at a party?"

**************

Many, many hours later...

Maxwell hummed to himself as he left Hana's room. Ending the wild party with a game of truth or dare with his friends was the perfect way to end a crazy night. Plus, it'd helped him at least for a little while, not think of Olivia.

How much more fun would it have been to see Olivia do a dare or admit a truth?

He knew what he would have dared her and he knew what question he'd ask. What would have happened might have left him even sadder than before.

Can't have that, he argued with himself. Who wants a depressed Maxwell hanging around?

He unlocked the door to his room, pausing halfway inside. He glanced down the hallway where he knew Olivia was. He'd been the one to clean and prepare her room. He wondered if she even noticed he'd made certain to have a bouquet of red roses in there. Did she notice the red throw he'd left draped over the Beaumont blue chair? Did she even recognize the meaning behind doing something like that?

"Probably not." He mumbled, closing his door behind him.

Maxwell had left his desk lamp on before the party began. The rest of his suite was shrouded in shadow, giving a quiet almost serene feeling after hours of absolute drunken chaos. It was just what he needed to bring him back down off his adrenaline rush.

He began to undress. Kicking his shoes off, he next dropped his pants. Stepping out of them, he stumbled over to his dresser while pulling his shirt off.

He dug around in the dark for a soft T-shirt to sleep in. After finally pulling one on, he stilled to hear a knock on his door.

When it happened a second time, he rushed over to it in the hopes of seeing Olivia. He'd lost sight of her during the beginning of the Beaumont Bash. He'd hoped to find a way to talk to her. Maybe see how things were going and if she'd finally given up on Liam.

His smile disappeared the moment he saw his brother.

Bertrand swayed, nearly toppling over.

"My dear Maxwell," he slurred, "could you be so kind as to point me in the direct- *hic* -shun of my quarters?"

He glanced down, his eyebrows nearly disappearing in his hairline.

"Good god, man! You lost your pants!"

Maxwell tugged his shirt down in an effort to hide his boxers.

"Did an acrobat steal them?" Bertrand laid a commiserating hand on Maxwell's shoulder. "I believe one stole my vest."

"You're wearing it on your head." Maxwell told him.

Bertrand reached up and pulled it off, causing his hair to stand on end. "The blackguard returned it!"

"Uh huh." Maxwell turned his brother around. "Straight down there is your bedroom. Only door at the end of the hall."

"Right." Bertrand stumbled in that direction. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Maxwell watched to make certain he didn't accidentally go into anyone else's room.

His breath caught in his throat the moment Bertrand bumped into Olivia's door.

Nothing happened, leaving him slumping his shoulders and returning to his own room.

Maxwell finished up his nighttime rituals in his ensuite bathroom then finally collapsed on his bed.

"What a night." He mumbled into his pillow.

"Yes, it was."

His eyes flew open. In his haste to reach his lamp on his nightstand, he knocked a glass of water off. Cursing, he blinked against the brightness.

There beside him on the bed was the only woman he'd dreamt of one too many times in that exact spot.

Olivia calmly sat there, hands folded in her lap. She'd puffed up some of his bed pillows to put at her back as she reclined in an almost upright position.

"You're here?" He asked, unable to wrap his mind around the concept.

"So you see." She replied.

"In my room?" He continued. "You're here in my room? On my bed?"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No. I'm on Bertrand's bed. Of course I'm on yours!"

Maxwell's eyes widened. His lips parted to ask more questions yet nothing but a squeak slipped out.

Olivia leaned closer to him, her brow furrowed in irritated concern. "Are you going to be sick?"

"No." He rubbed his eyes. "I'm pretty sure this is a dream."

She rolled her eyes once more. "It's not."

"That's what you usually say during my dreams." He argued.

Olivia reached over and pinched him. "Now do you believe me?"

Maxwell shook his head. "You do that in my dreams too."

Olivia had used up all her patience in waiting on getting Maxwell alone. Now that she finally had him without any chance of someone seeing them together, she was in no mood to reassure him that this was real. Besides, it was her feelings she needed to test.

With a frustrated breath, she straddled him.

Maxwell's eyes widened even more. Unsure what to do with his hands, he fisted them in the sheets. His heart was beating so hard that he wasn't certain if he'd survive this dream.

Audibly swallowing, he waited to see what she would do next.

She leaned down. The tip of her nose touched his. Her eyes held his startled gaze. A slight smirk curved her lips when she heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Maxwell?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

[sirthisisa-wendys]

Punica granatum: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

synopsis: a short snippet of a story you all know and love.

wc: 1.6k

tw: none

masterlist

"Are you hungry?"

"No." You cast an angry glance at the monster who is holding you captive. "Leave me alone."

"Perhaps you're thirsty?"

"No." A protective covering of shrubs shields you away from the stench of oakmoss and belladonna emitting from the entity across from you. "Go away." His green eyes shift from your hunched-over figure to the stone-cold floor in front of him.

"I..." His words falter, but you look away from him, focusing on some point in the distance. The hulking god across from you stands suddenly, storming off in the face of your resistance as you call out,

"I'd rather die than live here with you."

But that wasn't all true. Death is so final, so permanent. And you could never bring yourself to do the unthinkable and commit yourself to such an act. However, you did not want your captor to feel any reassurance from your presence.

Discomfort.

You want him to avoid looking at you, avoid talking to you, avoid you completely. Maybe then he would let you go back home to your goddess mother and your life as a humble farmer to the eternal beings of this world.

Maybe then he'd see you were of no value to him among the various others he could have stolen that day.

But Toji Fushiguro is a patient god, you learn, and your hunger strike withers in the face of his persistence.

"You must be hungry," he murmurs, leaning over the couch you're perched on and looking at you curiously. "I have fruit if you want it. And it's fresh."

Fresh fruit. Your stomach grumbles furiously at the offering, but you mask your hunger with a look of disinterest.

"No, thank you." You place your book in front of your face again, the words blurring together as Toji moves around to sit next to you, his black sweatshirt pulled taut over his chest.

"Not even some juice, huh?" You don't reply, still pretending to read the book, when he finally sighs. "Well, I'm going to go to a meeting. I'll be back shortly but in the meantime, my... friend... will be watching over you. In case you try to escape." Again, you offer him no response, and Toji leaves you alone on the couch; the invisible "friend" no doubt just the cameras placed around the property.

You've scoped them out and know where you can hide should you need a place to do something secretive. Three blind spots. That's all you had to do what you had wanted to do for some time now.

You walk into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of water before looking over the offerings in the fruit bowl. Bananas, oranges, apples... a pomegranate.

Perfect.

You pluck the ripe fruit from the bowl with ease and retrieve a metal spoon from a drawer. All the knifes had been replaced with notes like "thought you could use one of those, huh" and "not in my house". Little shithead.

You open the fruit and scrape the seeds from inside while you stand between the pantry and the laundry room, right in the blind spot of two cameras. You devour the fruit in record timing, then dispose of it as quickly as you can before downing the cup of water you poured earlier, placing it in the sink, and in full view of a camera.

"I knew you were hungry."

The voice behind you makes your skin crawl, and you turn to face Toji again, eyes wide.

"How did you--"

"Does it matter?" he wonders, taking his hands out of his sweatpants pockets and rubbing them together briefly. "Between the fruit and the books, you're easy to predict. You haven't considered I've planted everything here for you so you'll be more inclined to--"

"You tricked me."

"And?" Your stomach lurches, and you grip the sink edge behind you, vision blurring.

"What the hell have you done to me?" Toji gives you a toothy grin, approaching you slowly and placing both hands on either side of your body. His head dips, the scar on his lips separating as he speaks gently, deliberately.

"You consumed my property. You ate one of the many fruits I grow in the fields of my domain, little goddess. You're mine... at least until I say you're not." Your knees buckle slightly, but you still manage to keep yourself upright, clutching the sink for all it's worth. "Six sections of the pomegranate. Six months out of the year. That's what you owe me."

"Fucking asshole--"

"Careful, y/n," Toji touches your chin, but you snap your teeth at him with the little strength you have left. "It's a shame you didn't eat the orange. But I bet you wish you would've eaten the banana instead..."

His voice fades to black as you slump forward, your body giving out and no longer supporting you.

_____________________________________________________________

You awake in your bed, like most mornings, staring out at the barren landscape of your new home.

"There's no life here," you whisper to no one, eyes blinking slowly. "There's nothing here."

Toji takes his respite in his own room, choosing to remain away from you, especially because you cry. You cry every single day. And when you're not crying, you're laying somewhere, sniffling into your sleeves as you dig deeper into the despair and sorrow of your predicament.

The first time you cried, he didn't know what to do. Toji started with trying to get you to eat something - which was rebuffed with a nasty retort - and ended up watching you sob into your hands, unsure of what he could do to make it better.

"You could let me go," you huffed, but he recoiled, frowning at you as if you had just requested the world stop spinning.

"You ate the fruit," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and squinting his emerald eyes. "I'm sorry, but them's the rules."

"You're not sorry."

"No, I'm actually not."

And from that day on, you vowed to see less and less of him until finally, you remained in your room, huddled under the comforter and staring out of the window from dawn until dusk. You don't know how many days had passed like this, but it doesn't matter.

There would be a time when you would be allowed to go home.

You don't want to be here.

Or so you think.

_____________________________________________________________

The first day you're coaxed out of bed is entirely by accident.

A barking noise draws you out of your trance, and you almost fall out of bed at the sound of something other than another person in the house.

You throw open the door and rush toward the yipping, finding Toji sitting in the living room on all fours and staring down at the little white dog. The tiny thing is staring back at him with wide blue eyes, wholly focused.

"Speak."

The dog barks twice, then a treat is produced from Toji's hand and deposited in front of the canine. When Toji sees you staring from around the corner, brows furrowed, he offers you a look of recognition. The white dog walks up to Toji and licks his face, then sits and waits patiently.

"Throw hands," Toji commands the dog, and it backs up on its back legs, raising its front paws before jumping toward Toji. "I taught it a few tricks." You approach the two carefully, the dog facing you with a wide smile and a wagging tail.

"Hey, little buddy..." you whisper, picking it up carefully.

"His name is Six Eyes."

You and Six Eyes become fast friends, running around the house and terrorizing Toji on occasion. But the best days are spent with Six Eyes in your room, both of you laying out on the bed with a book or something to take your mind off of the punishment you must endure.

Toji rarely bothers you, and you the same. Unless, of course, Six Eyes needs to pee and he can't take him out due to "work", or you need Toji to get his dog food.

But in taking care of the little dog - who is much smarter than he would have anyone believe - you find a softness in Toji you hadn't seen before. Countless times, you find him and Six Eyes napping on the couch or playing "soccer" (which is just fetch with a tennis ball), or sitting together and watching some science fiction show. Your hatred of him doesn't quite wane, but you allow yourself to see him in a different light. One that isn't so bad.

_____________________________________________________________

"Tomorrow," Toji announces while you're sitting with Six Eyes and watching a telenovela. "You're going home tomorrow."

"Wait, really?" He notices the lift in your tone, the way you straighten up and your eyes regain the hint of the familiar glow they had before he stripped it away from you. In his heart, there is deep envy, a deep desire to know what it's like to be thought of as desirable. But he ignores that part of himself, stuffing it down as you hold Six Eyes in your arms and watch him carefully.

"Yeah," he answers, tossing the pieces of junk mail into the trash in the kitchen. "For six months."

"Can I take him with me?" You hold up the dog and the animal stares at him with that stupid "head empty, stomach full" look. Toji clicks his tongue against his teeth and turns away, shrugging.

"Whatever." You respond by placing a few kisses on the dog's head, returning back to the telenovela with a cheerfulness you can't quite contain. And Toji notices it, growing ever so distant with each hour that passes, until he's fully retreated into his room and sulking while reading the volume you had first picked up when you arrived, trying to find a deeper meaning within the words he had never read before.

[missyslittlepet]

((Finally done, not much to this one but again at least it's something. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy it! 💙))

A Different Kind Of Love

The chill of the wind seemed colder today than it had in a while. You gently tugged your coat tighter around your body and let out a sigh. You watched as the mist left your mouth and danced in front of your eyes before quickly dispersing into the nothing. When your vision focused again you found yourself taking in the view. Despite how many times you had seen it, it never failed to take your breath away.

The sun was brightly glistening off the mountain caps in the distance as you leant against the icy steel of the railing surrounding the balcony. You peered over the railing and through the mist below you could just make out the crude heart shaped crater. You didn't want to think about the tragedy that had taken place there.

"I thought you might like something to drink?" Heartman's voice was almost a whisper as he spoke.

You could hear him slowly approaching from behind you and soon enough he was by your side, two cups of fresh coffee in his hand. He offered one to you with a lopsided grin and you took it gratefully, savouring the warmth of the cup and the glorious smell that now permeated the crisp morning air.

"Thank you, but shouldn't I be making you the coffee not the other way around." You grinned, taking a sip. You closed your eyes again as the warmth ran down your throat. "Perfect. This couldn't have come at a better time."

"I agree wholeheartedly." Heartman smiled taking a drink from his own cup. "There really is nothing like a good cup of coffee to jumpstart your day."

You hummed in agreement and gave him a thumbs up. The blue heart hologram blinked for a few second before disappearing again. Heartman adjusted his glasses and chuckled. Slowly he leant against the railing awkwardly hitting his defibrillator off the metal with a clink. He let out a sigh and took another long sip.

"How was it?" You asked looking over at him.

"Still no sign of them." Sadness flickered behind his eyes for a moment before he smiled again. "However, data is data."

You placed your free hand over his and smiled at him sadly.

"We'll find them one day Heartman, just you wait." You squeezed his hand reassuringly causing him to smile He turn his hand upwards so his palm was against yours and held you hand tightly.

When Heartman had lost his wife and daughter in a void out he would have given anything to see them again. He would travel the beaches and follow the footprints hoping that it would lead him where he needed to go. Instead of seeing it as unsuccessful when he didn't find his family he started using his trips and knowledge to try and understand what was going on. Through his research he had met you.

After losing your husband in one of the attacks you had made it your mission to find him again and began researching BTs. Your speciality was experimenting on ways to capture and observe them in order to see if there was anyway to bring their consciousness back despite them not always having a body to return to. While you studied them you had began making to scale sculptures in your spare time. When a letter from Heartman had arrived in your inbox expressing how impressed he was by your studies and how he would be very interested in owning some of your artist impressions you were taken aback.

You had heard of him before but despite your stories being so similar you never would have thought that you would communicate with him.

The man who travelled to the beach every twenty one minutes seemed like he would have all the research he needed, not that you were going to question his judgment. Within seconds you were writing out a response and picking out a few of your best pieces for him. In the reply you explained that you were thankful for the opportunity to work along side him and that you would have a porter deliver some of your work to him as soon as possible.

He was thrilled when he got your response and even more so when he finally received your package. In his spare few minutes before going back to the beach he quickly got to work placing them around the lab. In his next time window he spent all of it taking in all of the detail he had missed beforehand.

After a few weeks of corresponding though the mail Heartman decided it would be more beneficial for you to move into his lab permanently. Not only would it give you more time to work together but it would also mean no more worrying over if packages would get lost before they made it to your respective laboratories.

After about a year of working together so closely one thing had lead to another and you found yourselves in a relationship of sorts. You both knew that feelings had started to blossom and you both agreed to act upon them. Your previous partners would want you to be happy even if you did continue to research and try to locate them in the meantime. Life was indeed too short after all, especially now.

The love between you and Heartman was unlike any other. You both deeply respected one another's past partners and understood that, while you both loved one another, the love for the families you had had did not disappear. You still kept your wedding ring around your neck on a silver chain and Heartman still had photographs around his lab of his wife and daughter. It worked for you both and that was what mattered. Holding onto the past all day everyday got lonely but sharing your life with someone who truly understood was precious.

As time went on your relationship had been put under a spotlight a few times, being so important in the science field meant that there was gossip. They would question your motives. After all, why find your deceased partners while also being in a new relationship? It made you both extremely uncomfortable but deep down the mutual understanding that you both had didn't need to be understood by anyone other than yourselves. You were both happy in your own little bubble far away in the mountains.

"How much longer do we have left?" You asked drinking what was left of your coffee.

Heartman looked down at the small screen of his AED and frowned.

"We have about twelve more minutes and then I must return to the beach." He too drank the remainder of his coffee and sighed again.

Despite wanting to find his family there were times, like this one, where he wished he could stay for a little bit longer. He wanted to be able to spend more time with you uninterrupted but alas, this was just how things were. As he had always said, most of lifes basic functions did fit rather easily into the twenty one minute cycle, it's a shame that love was not as basic. You made it work thought, hell, you even had a bit of a love life when you were both extremely lucky.

"We should probably head back inside then. I really don't want you to injure yourself... again." You laughed remembering a time before the padded flooring was installed and he spent the rest or the day with an ice pack pressed to his forehead. You lead him back inside not letting go of his hand.

The warmth from the crackling fire inside was a welcomed feeling. You placed the empty mugs on the counter and took a seat on the sofa. Heartman sat beside you and smiled pulling you closer to him.

"How about we watch a movie after I return?" Heartman asked still smiling. "We haven't watched Twenty Minutes of Love in a while."

"Honestly that sounds perfect. I think im due some time off from BT research." You laughed and kissed his jawline before resting your head against his chest.

"You see, I don't get time off but I'd be more than happy to spend all of my down time with you." He pressed his lips to your hairline as he spoke.

"5 minutes until cardiac arrest." Heartman's AED reminded him.

"Oh, shut up. I'm putting you on mute" Heartman's brows furrowed as he disabled the alerts on his machine.

"You know you really should keep that alert on." You laughed. "It's pretty important don't you agree?"

"And have it ruin our time together? What a silly thing to suggest." He pressed another kiss to you hairline causing you to look up at him.

His bright blue eyes observed you closely from behind his glasses and you felt your cheeks blush slightly.

"It's doesn't ruin our time together, it just reminds you when you need to start preparing for your... temporary death. I really do wish we had more time between the cycle. I know you're doing amazing and important work but I guess I'm selfish. I truly hope that this visit offers you more than your last one though. You deserve to be happy."

Heartman made a thumbs up and you heard the noise of a like fill the silence making you chuckle.

"I wish I had more time also. I love my family but I also love you. My cycle, although vital to my research, does stop me from enjoying moments in this plane of existence. I do cherish every moment we have together even more because of my departures, you know that (f/n). It's important that you remember I am happy, both researching and with you."

You smiled again and got comfortable against his chest.

His thumb rubbed small circles on your shoulder as you enjoyed what little time you had. When his hand went limp and the lighting of the room changed you knew it had started. You reached for his hourglass and tapped it against the table in order to rest it. You then unmuted the AED so that you wouldn't share the shock it would administer Heartman. The flat line noise echoed around the room as you quickly set up the movie so that you could enjoy it later without worrying about Heartman missing the end, even if you had watched it one hundred times already. When you had finally finished you sat next to him again on the sofa.

Despite him being dead he looked peaceful, his arm still around you. You didn't like this three minute wait at all. Not only did you not get to hear his voice but it was the not knowing that was painful. You wondered if today would be the day he found his family and you hoped for his sake he did.

You turned and stroked your fingers through his hair. When he was alive it was one of his favourite things you did. He would fall asleep in your lap while you did that if he could. Your hand slowly came to rest on his cheek and your thumb brushed over his cheekbone. That was one perk to his beach visits, you could take in every detail of his face without the fear of him catching you staring. That was one regret you had about your life before the Death Stranding. The world was so hectic with work and stress that you never took the time to appreciate what you had. Every passing day it was getting harder and to picture your husbands face. With no photographs you were left clinging to the memories the two of you had shared. All you had left of him was your wedding ring and you kept it close always.

You were determined not to make the same mistakes again. You took many photos of you and Heartman together and made sure to make copies. You took time out to appreciate all he was. His calming accent, the way his eyes brightened up when he was happy. You refused to miss a moment.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the AED

"Administering shock. Stand clear."

You jumped back just in time to avoid the shock. Heartman sat bolt upright and blinked the tears from his eyes with a gasp.

"Welcome back." You grinned.

He smiled and quickly logged his journey through his cuff. Once he was finished he looked at you once again.

"How did it go? Any sign of th-" You began.

Heartman held up his hand and chuckled

"Come here." Heartman's arms reached for you. You did as he asked and he pulled you close again. " There's time for all of that but right now I believe we have a movie to watch."

You grinned and snuggled closer to him. You were thankful he was putting the beach aside just for now.

Your relationship was like no other. Helping to find long lost families while simultaneously loving the bones of your research partner was a very strange concept. There was a lot of things in this world that didn't make sense but this, cuddled up watching movies as the fire crackled and the snow fell outside... it felt right. So long as it made sense to the two of you then what did the circumstances matter?

You had your work, Heartman and your little bubble in the mountains. To hell with everyone else.

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 8)

A/N: Ayoooo. Hey guys, here's part 8 and I'm so sorry if the previous chapters kind of frustrated you. I didn't really mean for it to but I hope you enjoy this one. I'll be posting 9 tomorrow or the day atfter. Thanks again for your feedbacks, y'all motivate me a lot ^^ ♥ (My Wi-Fi has prejudice against tumblr rn)

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, bois. ANGST (I cried like a sucker during one part I wrote 😔) mention of blood, yet again drinking, some speckles of fluff, and unnecessary dialogue if you look closely enough :^ I feel like a terrible writer today

WC: 4k I think?

Tags: As always my taglist is always open uwu

@haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

@hardzzellos

"You look...beautiful." Ben's comment is indeed one thing to start the night. It's not like he's never told you that before–it's just the tone in which he has said it in is...different. A foreign tone never been released from his lips until you. You look up at him through your lashes, giving him a slanted smile accompanied by a bubbly chuckle. "Thanks. You smell nice too."

The corner of his eyes crinkle as his curving lips push them up. As expected, Rosy chimes in between you and Ben almost too quickly, the blurry speed in which she has arrived in making you gasp. "Excuse me, babe. You got interviewers on your tail and I- oh," her brows shoot up upon seeing you, seemingly haughty eyes flicking up and down your outfit in mild contempt.

"Surprised to see you here as well." The smile plastered on her face couldn't be any more forced than it is.

Girl, chill. Anti-aging soaps are not easy to manufacture these days. You begin holding your breath to prevent yourself from bursting into a fit from hearing that thought ring in your head. You shrug, garnering the guts to shift on your heightened stance and lean in an inch close.

"You're not the only one with a celebrity date."

You turn around too early to gauge her reaction, finally exhaling from holding your breath too long. You can finally conclude that she's had an effortless transition from being benign to far from being benign. The smoothest one-eighty you've ever witnessed. You remember her clearly being downright considerate of you the first time you met her yet now is a whole different story. You wonder if she was actually ever considerate.

As the boys and Lucy indulge in brief interviews, you stand behind the scenes and get the first-class chance of conversing with Brian. He's readily the coolest person in the house right now, bantering with you every once in three, fascinating topics. How fortunate are you to be in the spot a million Queen fans would die for but of course, you don't want to leave out Roger who - by a landslide - makes you wish you could wheeze and snort all you want if you weren't in a luxury event such as the Oscars. He seemed intimidating for you at first but as he joined in your talk with Brian, things escalated real quickly.

With the pre-ceremony interviews and the clinking of champagne glasses dampening, you begin hunting for your seats in the theatre.

Before you know it, you are informed that only a specific line of people are given exclusivity for the seats. And it shocks you that Joe, Allen, Ben and Gwilym are not given that card when in fact they were part of the very film that brought forth a new generation of fans.You shake your head disappointingly albeit contented that Rami, Lucy, Brian and Roger and their wives are part of the exclusivity.

Utterly determined to know the results - by Joe's 'sovereign' vote - the rest of you hang around in the waiting area, focusing on the ceremony rights shown on TV. Quietly sitting through the results, you all whoop and applaud at the mention of Bohemian Rhapsody obtaining three awards straight– your cheers amping up a notch as Rami brings home the 'Best Actor' award. Joe begins filming your reactions for Instagram, zooming into Gwilym, Ben and Allen's faces for most of the video. You throw your head back in laughter at how goofy the boys look; a bunch of men in their 30's bouncing up and down with one of them documenting the entire episode. At one point, Gwilym yanks as you in for a group hug, mercilessly crushing you in between their muscles– the disorienting experience now being something you wish you would never undergo again.

As Rami's thank you speech unfolds, you pay attention closely. The sentimentality of him lovingly thanking Lucy for being his anchor after dedicating his award to Freddie Mercury is just overwhelming and you wish you could tear up but your mascara would be waste. You're certain that made Brian and Roger emotional as well.

An hour after the ceremony, you all head down to the Vanity Fair after party in the same limo you had arrived in with every single person in the group eager to get the night progressing. Regardless of saying that these type of parties are not up to your speed, you try to get along with the evening and revel in what you know would be your last night with them. Sadly enough, Roger and Brian had to skip out on this with rough schedules on their hands. The moment they walked out of the place, they spent nearly half an hour congratulating the boys and having other celebrities congratulate them.

As you are seated across Ben and Rosy, you can't help but notice him acting a little distant from her. She's all nuzzled up against his arm and he is nowhere close to returning the favor. He's just...lost in thought, staring out the tinted window. It's still early to assume that in all the hours you were within a close range to them, Ben only ever acted aloof, giving her attention when the situation required it.

Perhaps a lover's tiff took place?

"Yeah, I'm wondering the same thing too." Mimicking your position, Joe calling you back to Earth makes you gasp a little. You close your eyes and look at your fingers blankly after recovering, sighing. "I think we should end all this pretending. It was simply a cop-out in the first place."

"I know," he whispers audibly enough for only you to hear, running his fingers through his fiery, red hair, "you should probably come clean soon enough before you leave."

And that you will. At least, you'll try.

In your defense, you thought the after party would host a fancy banquet but seated around with celebratory drinks -considerable with something classy - and attendees breaking down on the dance floor is a rather okay scene as well. As long as you don't end up like the night you were invited out for a drink with your colleagues, you should be fine for the most part.

The boys and Lucy have fully immersed themselves in the beat of the music while you've decided to remain stationary with one glass of wine, the only glass you'll be having for the rest of the party.

The entire time you gawk at them amusingly as they break out their dance moves, your eyes always find their way to Ben, who makes you snort painfully from all his antics as he moves along with Joe. They're a mess with their ties and buttons undone from all the movement and the sight inspires you to stay put.

But oh dear lord, can Ben dance like an uncle.

Keeping your attention on them, a descending weight sinks down next to you. You pay no mind to whoever it is but do as her voice interrupts your thoughts. "I hope your eye is on the right person, honey." You click your tongue in exasperation, turning your body towards Rosy and her developing, bitchy tendencies, scoffing as you place your drink down to set things straight with her. "First of all, what did I ever do to you to deserve this kind of talk?"

She smacks her lips together at you, simpering. "You didn't think I'd notice?"

"What are you talking about?"

Her almond eyes narrow as if she's trying pin you down with a warning. "Please, don't act like I never noticed. You're overstepping that boundary between you and your best friend- my fiance." Okay, so she's noticed. But your neutralized expression is not going to be giving away anything.

You incline your head to one side in hopes that the facade you're pulling would decompress her suspicion. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Ben is like my brother. "

Grabbing her drink from the table, she sighs and stands up, hands firm on her hips and face silhouetted under the beaming light nevertheless giving you a transpiercing glower in the manner of seeing through the makeshift barrier you've pulled up. "He better be. Try backing off every once in a while when I'm around."

To your dismay, you snap inside, whipping your head up at her and replying sharply to make the message crystal clear. "Rosy, you have no idea." Unable to withstand the atmosphere you're in, you put great emphasis on your words and snatch your drink, walking out to the mini garden to finish what's left of your wine without having to bear being around her.

The question is unadulterated and obvious– bold and italicized if you wish to give it a stretch and clarify it.

Why is Ben still with her?

Is he that clueless not to realize it?

You don't want to pry the answer out yourself but ruminating on it, Rosy pulling off a full one-eighty only when Ben's at an appropriate distance for her to squeeze you between her fingers is just about good as a reason as anything. Your unwavering feelings for Ben are clearly perceived by her– from the way you had reacted the day he introduced you both to each other to not so long ago.

You wonder if Ben ever took heed of her growing attitude towards you.

Finishing your wine in one, immediate, swig, you place it down on the marble surface before you with your fingers cradling the stem of the glass– relishing the spicy liquid flushing down your throat.

At the extent of overexerting themselves, Joe and Gwilym flop down back on their seats like jelly, tuckered out from the unconventional combination of alcohol and unsteady movement. Panting like a dog who had just participated in a marathon, Joe shrugs out of his blazer and tosses it over his shoulder, silently wishing the ice in the bucket that held the bottle of wine would save him from the grinding heat of the wine he had just about five minutes ago.

"Mate, you're deep in the heat." Gwilym comments as it is followed by a gentle laugh on how Joe's glistening in sweat under the dimming lights. He hands him a partially bland look before wiping his forehead with his handkerchief. Lucy and Rami are situated at other end of the place enjoying a chat with another party of people meanwhile Ben and Rosy are nowhere near any of them. Until, of course, they reappear from God knows where and Ben suddenly asks Joe where you've gone.

"I-I don't know." He says after a hefty sigh. Somewhat eager to find you, Ben begins excusing himself from Rosy whom which he has spiked a bitter reaction from for sharing his supposed time for her with you. Fed up and jealous in the slightest, Rosy snaps at him.

"Okay Ben, why do you always have to skip in between minutes to hang out with her even when we're together?"

He pauses from turning around completely and sighs. "She's my friend, babe."

Unwilling to accept his statement, she claims. "Well your friend is getting in the way of what was supposed to be our time together! Can't you set aside a limited time for her?! " This has alarmed Joe and Gwilym but it isn't their business to butt in and stop a quarrel from breaking out. Unless it turns physical, which is doubtful to happen. Ben, a little frustrated but still tolerant of her ongoing skittish behavior, tries to reassure her. "I know that, alright? But something's been bothering her for days and I just want to make sure she's doing alright."

"Can't you leave the worrying to Joe? He's her bloody boyfriend anyway!"

Wagging his forefinger at Rosy, Joe grumbles as he is not having any of her talk, scrunching his brows at her.

Grabbing her shoulders gently, Ben tries to relieve her of tension and assures her once more, but with a well-known fact she obviously still doesn't accept. "Joe's a little drunk. She's like...a sister to me," it really took him an abrupt pause to say 'sister', "besides, you're my fiancee. There's nothing to be jealous about."

"Why does she still have to be a part of your life? Our life?" Now that's a question that has just shifted Ben to a farther side. His brows knit together in momentary disbelief, unable to take her words in a good light. "God, Rosy! She's been around for so long! At least make an effort to accept her!" Like a slap to her conceitedness, Ben turns on his heels and walks out to find you. Leaving Rosy a steaming mess of insecurity.

However slightly drunk, Joe mutters to himself as he makes sure neither Gwilym or especially Rosy hears his words stumble out in a whisper. "You've grown a pair, Ben. You've grown a pair."

You've been outside for nearly half an hour; wine glass empty and your hair, along with the skirt of your dress, drifting along the harmless breeze and the waning moon spilling some light from behind the shaded clouds. Though there were a couple of people that found their way here to get some respite not too long ago, you're just glad to have this space to breathe in from the draining background of the party.

As you lose yourself in thought, a certain voice brings you back to reality.

"Nice night out, huh?"

Turning around slowly, you are met with the cool, forest green irises that you've grown to never tire of seeing. "I'm surprised you're still well-kept in that suit despite the scene back in there. " You give in to a chuckle, your smile pulling Ben to approach your side leisurely. "It's my Oscars suit. Something worthy of protecting."

"Hah!"

As he rests his elbows on the surface next to you, the distance between your skins makes you a tad bit anxious. Comfortable silence falls upon you both– for Ben at least, it's tolerable however you're not taking it well, not even in the slightest. You rub your hands together and sigh, prompting Ben to finally ask you.

"You alright? You've been tensing up lately."

You nod, closing your eyes and opening them afterwards. "This dress is just depleting me of bodily warmth." Half a lie told by you. Acting on his thoughts, Ben begins taking his blazer off but you stop him mid-shrug. "Keep it on. You look better with it on."

"This would look better on you, you're obviously freezing." He's really keen on keeping you warm but you're just as so in letting him keep it on. "I'm serious. Keep it on. I'm fine."

What can he do but just give in? When you're serious, you're serious. He lifts his shoulder in half a shrug, ducking his head as an idea flickers in his head like a bulb. He wants to relive something that has been lost through the years and it's only right that he does...now that you have less than a day to disappear from his life completely.

"Y/N..." He muses gently. You raise your brows at him in question, taken by surprise that he has his hand held out to you. Bewildered, you raise your finger to ask what on Earth he's doing. "What- what are you doing?"

He licks his bottom lip and the smile on his face becomes bashful but certain. "What else does it look like I'm doing, silly girl? Asking you to dance."

You're sorry that you couldn't keep a snort at bay. "Pfft. Ben, I think you're asking the wrong girl."

"Just let me dance with my best friend."

"Wow! That's noble of you," your chuckles can not be contained, even so much as restraining yourself from letting the blush spread throughout your face. But he has the fragments of what was once your heart, so why wouldn't you? You slip your hand in his and the grin on his face widens. "There we go. Easy does it." He breathes out, his voice getting gravelly. You hit him softly on his chest for cooing, at the same time realizing that his voice becomes that way only and only when he's nervous– something uncommon between you both. As his hands find home on your waist, you throw your arms around his neck, laughing at how awkward yet funny it feels. What a huge nod to how you danced with him on Homecoming.

"You're so weird sometimes. You got your fiancee, why don't you dance with her?" Getting used to the sting of referring to Rosy, you question anyway. He initiates with a sway before responding. "I already have. But, " he diverts his heavy-lidded eyes from staring off the distance to yours and suddenly, it feels like you're home, "I want to finish that Homecoming dance."

You find yourself speechless as you shift your unflinching gaze at him and he at you, your bodies swaying along the concrete and in perfect sync, coincidentally to the sudden change in music from inside, compared to the bittersweet night you had before the day that parted you both. Thin silence hangs in the atmosphere but only because you are looking at each other in a way you never have in your entire lives.

Instinctively, you break your gaze from his and rest your head on his chest, your hair falling into your face as your eyes screw shut. You hear his heart skip a beat, unusually in the same manner yours always has. Feeling your head follow the rise and fall of his chest tickles you inside– temporarily making you forget about the pain of soon letting him go and producing a sense of safety.

Maybe it's because of exhaustion? You wonder. He doesn't hesitate to stroke your hair and revel in the moment as well, easing you in closer to his body without breaking the sway. "You'll be there on my wedding day, right?" He asks nervously, his question pulling you back to the harshest reality.

You open your eyes slowly, your lips trembling as you let out the saddest sigh, feeling your chest tighten from the anxiety of soon telling him the truth.

"Y/N?" Your tensed-up body alarms him and so he breaks away and lifts your chin up lightly, being met with glossy and regretful eyes. His messy brows drawing together in slight worry. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

However uneager to push him away, you do, escaping his warm embrace. "Ben, I..."

He's dreading for your answer, painfully anticipating for the best or the worst to the point where his hands are lubricating with sweat.

You swallow the lump that has hardened in the back of your throat, pressing your lips together to prevent a sob from escaping and shunning his prying stare. "I can't..."

Joe's half-assed predicted, worst case scenario is slowly unfolding.

"What are you saying? You're not- you're not going...to be there?"

You bite down on your lip hard enough to make it swell, shaking your head and casting a sideways glance.

"Why?"

Tell the truth. Just tell him and you're either getting a support or another jab to the heart.

"Y/N, please! Tell me why!"

"I'm leaving, Ben!" The words didn't seem to stumble or carelessly flop from your lips, in fact it speared through him clean thereby catching him off guard. His eyes have fallen gravely, lips parted due to shock.

"I got into a medical school I had previously applied for. And I'm leaving," you snap your eyes shut and open them in tears once you've looked up at him, "on your wedding day."

"Why didn't- why didn't you ever tell me?" He's pleading for your explanation, barely clinging on to the belief that you would always tell him things.

You don't answer as you are battling to muster up the courage to say it.

"Y/N, please! You never tell me anything these days! And this- this news, it's important! You're leaving on the day I need you the most, and you never bothered to squeak a word about it! Not a single, bloody word! Why?!" He's racked up with disbelief and apparently, anger. Eyes rimmed, clouded with mixed emotions and face full-blown red from the pressure.

He grabs you by the shoulders and pleads heartbreakingly, his lively voice reduced to but a whisper. "Why..."

"I-" You're still holding back.

"Say it! "

"You'd soon forget about me, Ben!" You inhale sharply as you add, croaks present in your voice while you take two steps further away from him as you lament. "I'm hopelessly in love with you, you idiot! I've always been. I try- I try to brush off every single prick that stems out every minute I realize that you already belong to someone else..."

"Y/N-"

"I figured not telling you would help me let go. And it's the only way I can...because screw you for being a clueless, irreplaceable bloke! I can't imagine my bloody life without you in it! I don't think I can ever love anybody else...but you, "

"Y/N..."

You don't let him finish and achingly throw your hands to your chest as a gesture, pounding your chest thrice as you're finally wearing your heart on your sleeve. "I can't blame you for being oblivious to my feelings. You're committed to Rosy...and as much as I want to see you happy, I don't want to stand idly by and- and feel this way when you've pledged your heart to her...I want to forget and for you to forget me," As the warm tears you've held back for so long roll down your cheeks, you hug yourself through the pain, "I want you to be happy without worrying how I'd feel. And disappearing from your life, is the only way I know how..."

"Y/N, please, don't say that- don't do this...you can't do this...you c-can't..." With hands shaking, he strides towards you to haul you in back into his arms but you take an agonizing step away, stopping him in his tracks. "I have to. I...I want to. It hurts so much, Ben. It always has but promise me," even if you have taken a step away, you take it upon yourself to take those steps close to him and cup his cheek with a cold hand, "promise me you'll revel in that happiness. It's going to hurt being away from you. But it's going to hurt even more if I stay. And watch...my best friend grow old with someone else." Finally rendering him wordless, you shake your head and whisk past him back into the party which has died down a bit, leaving him a pondering mess out under the bleak sky.

"How could I be happy without you..."

You'd gladly do anything to go back home right now. The weight of what just took place is crushing you and the need to escape is fuming. But the thing is, Ben was never one to let you go easy.

He never did and possibly never will.

He sniffles and inhales sharply, jogging in after you and calling out your name amidst the constant noise and chatters. "Y/N, wait!"

You reach your table just in time to see everyone still gathered around with drinks raised and laughs released but you have to excuse yourself deliberately. "Y/N? Where have you been? What's the rush?" Lucy notices your hastened movement and places her hand on your tense shoulder. You snap your head at her with your purse in your grasp, shaking your head and apologizing that you have to leave, forgetting to rid your eyes of tears; the sight of you amping up Lucy's concern therefore leading you into her embrace. "Oh my god, are you okay? What happened?"

"Y/N!"

Ben's distant but audible voice echoing through the place just sends you panicking inside. "I'm so sorry, Luce. I have to go."

"Y/N, wait! What's wrong?"

Just as the rest could react to Lucy calling out for you and Ben dashing past them to catch up, you've already disappeared into the crowd, headed out the theatre to take a cab ride back to the hotel. Relentless to let you go, Ben follows your trail, spurring a quick frenzy from the rest and having them pursue Ben in return. Once you reach the outskirts of the pavements, you don't think twice before crossing the highway with your focus hardened before you.

Gasping for air upon exiting the theatre, Ben glances around in haste and finally spots you marching down the street oblivious to your surroundings despite treading along the pedestrian lane. His eyes widen in dread and acting on a fight or flight reaction, he yells for your attention as he speeds down the street to pull you in or rather save you from a possibility of getting hurt with all the rushing vehicles and careless drivers. "Y/N! Y/N!"

The boys, Lucy and Rosy arrive outside just in time to witness Ben race towards your direction and in a moment of feeling time slow down, you feel your heart in your throat at the late flash of nearing headlights, to add a heavy force propelling you off your feet and onto the other side of the road. What gets you up from the ground are the mixed screams of a familiar bunch and the sight of a bloodied man in white laying unconscious on the cold surface of the road.

White noise suddenly fills your ears instead of your own voice as you scream out his name.

[pbandjesse]

It was a cold day. Like not just regular winter it was a blustery kind of frigid. And it was just kind of rough. Enough that I was fragile and cried a whole bunch at the play me and James just went and saw. But today wasn't a bad day.

I was just up way too long last night. D&D friends stayed until after midnight. And then Brandon woke up right after they left which was very funny. And he ended up staying until about 1:30. Like it was fun but I feel so tired and really wanted to go to sleep. And then once he did leave I couldn't fall asleep for a while. James went to bed but I was up until about 2:30. I ended up selling one of the McDonald's fast food toys I had listed on eBay. So I made like $5. I forgot that I gave it free shipping so I honestly might lose money in the long run. But it's whatever. I hope that they make someone happy.

I woke up at 8 wall James was making breakfast for himself. I got up and got dressed and said goodbye and went to go home. I wanted to get some more sleep while he went to work. But then I got outside and my bike lock it frozen shut. Would not turn. I called him and he came down with a pot of hot water. Poured it down the walk as best he could and that opened it up. I was able to buy, but I brought the back in the house because I don't want it to happen again.

I was fairly bundled but getting home with still rough. It was very cold. And windy. I got back here and got a shower after I brought my bike inside. I had to do some cleaning because sweetpea threw up on the stairs. But then I took shower and wash my hair and I felt a lot better. I was very hungry but I decided I'd rather go to sleep.

I laid in bed for a while. I fell asleep somewhere around 9:30. And I woke up at 11 feeling much better. I got dressed and did my makeup. And then I left. I walked down towards the harbor to go to the Chipotle. I brought a container so I could get another meal out of it. The bowl is definitely the best way to go. Because you can get taco shells on the side have three tacos than have a whole meal still there. It's actually outrageous how much the tacos are a rip-off if you buy them by themselves. I packed up my leftovers and I went to get the bus.

I had to wait for the bus so much today. It was really long getting to work at 3. But I got to work and everything was fine. And then all the sudden it started snowing really bad. It only lasted for like 20 minutes but it was coming down and Swirls and sideways. It was wild. But then it stopped in the sun came out. It's still too cold but it was neat to see.

The kids were pretty good today. We had a meltdown with one of them and they cried a lot. But we have a small class and we were able to go to the gym for us and we had a good dinner. Art time went okay. The one table was way too loud and they weren't as focused as they could have been and that led to me having to split up the table so that they could focus more. And that led to meltdown. And some torn apart. It wasn't fun seeing one of my students cry that much. It was over nothing. We sat in the hallway and I held his hand and we did some deep breaths but he just could not calm down. Just got to keep working at it. He'll take tomorrow off and we'll see him again on Monday

After work I went to go get the bus and the transit app said it was one minute away. And that minute passed and nothing came. And then it said it was 20 minutes away. After I spent 15 minutes outside. And it was freezing. My hands were so stiff from the cold. I was in pain and I was tired. I thought I could waste some time by wandering up to the stop that comes before mine. So I walked what is a pretty far distance. And I was very cold. And I got there. And it still said the bus was 20 minutes away. I was going to cry. And then I saw two buses in the distance and I was like I'm getting on that bus I don't care where it's going. I had to get inside. So I get on the bus. Thankfully it's going downtown. It's going away I never gone before but it was going where I needed to go. Which is nice to know for the future that I can take a different bus. And it took about the same amount of time.

But I was very fragile and I didn't feel good and I feel cold. And I was getting more and more upset. I was texting James and I told him where I was getting off and he said he would meet me there. I forgot that we were going to a play tonight and all the sudden I was like I'm I can't go. But we went to McDonald's and we ate food and it made me feel better and I'm really glad we went to the play.

Don't get me wrong it was rough. Play was a little over two hours. Was about an Amish community. Specifically one family. And an English man. That is to say someone who is not Amish. He fell asleep behind the wheel and killed the two sons of the family. And he comes back to try to atone for what happened. It was all about forgiveness. And then the daughter that have been excommunicated comes back. And you deal with figuring out why she had been shunned by the family. And it turned out she was sexually assaulted and Community forgave her rapist but she couldn't so she left. And it was very very difficult to watch. I cried a little bit in the first half. But the second half I was sobbing almost the entire time. I really enjoyed the show but I think I cried more because I was tired. I really loved it though and the lighting in the show was fabulous.

I was really really happy to go home. And James just walk back and he's in the other room doing dishes and hanging out with the cat. We have the morning off together we're going to make muffins. And then I have teaching and I'm looking forward to another nice day. Hopefully I don't get stuck outside as often. But it's going to be colder. So wish me luck. Good night everybody sleep well

[hopeididntscareyou]

I went out with Alex today and it was really nice we went up a hill to see a good look of the whole town and talked for hours but before that we basically spent the day on a roadtrip and ate some korean bbq which he had for the first time. We talked so much stuff and I actually had a good time, its not like when I'm with Eric i feel uncomfortable as fuck he makes me fucking uncomfortable with all these fucking bizarre and clingy behavior. He even literally waited for me outside work last night thats some fucking stalker vibe shit right there but whatever i'll deal with him later.

Anyways, since I was talking about relationships with Alex i wanted to be honest that as an adult (i didnt want to consider my dating when i was under 21) I haven't really felt like genuinely caring for another person and feeling this special connection with people except for Donovan who was a different case and i wasnt even sure if i was just being delusional about the whole thing but talking about him made me realized maybe I still haven't really moved on, which is sad because it's almost a year and I just wish I didn't have to feel so sad about it. I dated around after Donovan but i just couldn't share with other people the same connection I had with him. i don't know if he's a psychopath or it some manipulative shit but whenever I was feeling upset he just had a way with his words that made me feel better its like he could read my mind and tell me exactly what I wanted to hear. Its that or maybe we share the same brain cell lol.. Well past is past and to be completely honest, I dont want to and I am not dwelling on why it didnt work out, but the reason i can't forget about him is prob because I talked to him about a lot of stuff that were important to me so I'd sometimes get reminded of some particular topic that we talked about and I would try to remember what I said so i would go reread them and it just pains me everytime because I never get to have those kinds of conversations with people anymore. I wished I didn't save all our conversations so I wouldn't have memories of them, but I just couldn't delete them. I mean I deleted his contact information but I just couldn't delete our conversations because they were really special to me. Not gonna lie I wish we'd talk again someday just as friends who could relate with each other and have interesting conversations with. Yes it didn't really work out between us but I don't hate him, I never did. He was a good influence in my life and I will always speak good about him regardless of how it ended. I know it sounds selfish because at this point im more focused on my own perspective than considering his perspective, but his point of view is just outside my sphere, i don't have access to it and its something i think i shouldnt be assuming or judging. Actually i had legitimate reasons why I felt the way I was, cause any woman would just feel insecure if they were in my position and its just up to them how they would deal with it. I guess i didn't deal with it in a healthy and mature manner and i had no excuse for that, but whatever the truth was, i dont know, but what matters to me now is that I did actually felt cared for and appreciated at that time, he was a good friend and a good influence so thats what im choosing to remember. I'm grateful because I've learned so much from my experience with him and after him. I've learned about myself a lot and i actually start putting an effort to be a better me and become a healthier person mentally, have a good routine and all that. Not for him mainly but for myself. Fuck, i've been actually crying while im typing cause its just makes me sad.

Honestly I don't think I would ever feel the same for another person again and I don't want to because I distanced myself from people emotionally ever since that happened. Also its just rare for me to meet people in general who are kinda like me, like there are just something different about them besides introversion its more about sharing the same core values and the nerdiest hobbies its really important to me, i like people who has their own brain but isnt like a know it all, people who think the way i do and hes just that kind of person, atleast thats how i thought of him and liked about him. Its really rare for me to meet someone like that. All the physical stuff like sex and looks would eventually fade away when you grow old and weak but good quality conversations dont, if i wouldnt be able to resonate with my partner then i knew i wouldnt feel the connection im looking for which is important to me. Its either I liked talking about myself or I enjoy listening to them more than me talking, but its different when i enjoy both and that really doesnt happen a lot. The only other people besides Donovan would probably Patrick, Paul and my bestfriend but honestly i slept on my bestfriend all the time lmaoo. Sometimes im too apathetic and neutral to care about other people's lives 'cause they just don't seem to picque my interest enough so i honestly dont really care that much. BUT YEAA I'll stop talking now cause i dont want this turn into a huge narcissism galore

[ellanainthetardis]

Hi! I wanted to start by saying I adore your writing and hayffie characterizations. I spent a solid 2 weeks devouring your stories and it was glorious. Do you still take prompts? I'd love an AU where Chaff survives, and him and Effie become friends

What better place to become friends than a cell? XD [X]

Newfound Friends

Chaff woke to a niceview of the grey ceiling.

Grey everything, really.

He took a minute to…take stock. His ribs were still hurting, no surprise there. He didn’t like thewheezing sound one bit. He knew quite a few were cracked. No punctured lungthough. No… He wasn’t that lucky and the Peacekeepers weren’t that careless.His left eye wouldn’t open and he figured it had finally swollen shut. Hisbottom lip was split and he could still taste blood on his tongue. His left armwas in agony and that didn’t bear thinking over. They hadmeticulously flayed it from stump to shoulder.

The various other bruises and cuts weren’tlife-threatening. At least he didn’t think so.

He wasn’t sure if he should be grateful or notto have managed to get the upper hand on Brutus. If Two’s victor had killedhim… On the bright side he wouldn’t be there getting tortured to an inch of hissanity to protect information he really wishedhe didn’t have. One the less positive side… He wouldn’t be there at all.

Being alive trumped being dead. Even if thatmeant enduring pain.

He had known what he was getting into when hehad signed in the rebellion…

Still… It didn’t make it any easier. How longhad it been now? Weeks? Months? It had started blurring together after a fewdays. There were no windows and there was no rhythm to the coming and going ofthe guards, no way to keep track of time…

He heard the door to his cell being opened andhe closed his good eye, figuring he might as well pretend to be unconscious. Itwould gain him a few minutes of respite probably.

“You like District dogs so much… Why don’t youtry this one?” a Peacekeeper laughed.

There was a pained whine and a thud as something – or more likely someone was thrown into his small cell.

“Hope you have fun with Abernathy’s bitch,Mitchell.” another of his captors said. “I heard she’s a screamer.”

A shiver ran down his spine but he still waiteduntil he heard the door close and the guards’ laugher fade in the distancebefore taking as deep a breath as his ribs allowed and rolling on his side tosit up. It was dark in the cell, the only source of light the four lines thatdefined the shape of the door, but not pitch dark.

He spotted the small shaking shape less than afoot from him and he dragged himself over, wincing all the way. His left armhung limp and useless at his side. He wondered if by the time this would beover he would be missing more than just a hand.

“Trinket?” he called. He was pretty sure it wasa safe bet. Abernathy’s bitch… To hisknowledge – and his knowledge was sound – Haymitch didn’t have a string oflovers lately.

“I don’t know anything.” the woman rasped outin an obvious mechanical response.

“Good for you.” he snorted. It was a fewminutes before he managed to crawl the distance between them. Maybe his bodywas in worse shape than he was willing to admit. She flinched when he put hisgood hand on her shoulder. “Come on, love. It’s just me. Just your old friendChaff.”

The shaking woman peered at him in thesemi-darkness. He couldn’t really tell for sure but she looked worse for thewear. How long had they had her? Since the arena had exploded? Longer? The thinprison uniform was sticky under his palm. Blood. She didn’t try to roll on herback, apparently happy to remain curled half on her stomach. He probed a littlewith his fingers, it wasn’t long before he found the first gash on her back andshe gasped so badly that he took his hand away.

“Sorry.” he muttered, making a face. Whip, heguessed. Not good. “How bad is it, love?”

“Chaff?” she asked. She didn’t sound completelyfocused.

“Yeah.” he confirmed.

“You are alive…” she breathed out.

“Hanging in there.” he snorted, grabbing herelbow to steady her when she pushed herself to a sitting position. She hissedand breathed heavily when the change in positions reopened the wounds on herback but she didn’t immediately faint or complain like he expected her to. Ittold him she had been there a while. “You saw anyone else?”

He was desperate for information.

He knew at least one other victor had beengrabbed from the arena but he didn’t know who. He just hoped they had gottenEverdeen out. The rebellion needed its Mockingjay. That had been the wholepoint. But he knew someone else hadbeen captured. He had seen it when…

They only fed him lies.

“They took Peeta.” she said slowly, reachingfor her face only to drop her hand at the last minute. Chaff frowned andgrabbed her chin, ignoring her flinching, forcing her to tilt her head so hecould see better in the meager rays of light coming from the door. “I amalright.”

It was a lie if he had ever heard one.

Her face was black and blue.

“You don’t know anything.” he scoffed. “What dothey keep you for?”

Her lips stretched into a sardonic smile thatchilled him to the bones. “Insurance.”

“Haymitch.” he said immediately, wrinkling hisnose. He had warned them enough time it would end badly. Hell, he had toldHaymitch time and time again that…

“No.” she denied, gently coiling her fingersaround his wrist and nudging his hand away from her face. “They force me tomake Johanna and Peeta presentable for propos now and then. They both behavebetter when my life is on the line.”

So the boy wasthere…

His heart missed a beat and then raced as if tocompensate. If the boy was there… He shouldn’t have been as pleased by thatnews as he was probably, but fuck thatmeant they might not have to survive until the end of the war after all.Because if the boy was there…

“Jo?” he asked. “She’s here?”

“Yes.” Trinket confirmed. “Annie too. But theyhaven’t touched her.”

“Cresta?” he frowned. “She’s got no part inthis. She’s…”

“But Finnick must know they have her.” she cuthim off. “At least that’s what Johanna and I concluded.” She waited for asecond and then swallowed hard. “We had no idea you were there. I… I never sawyou before…”

“They kept that girl with me at first…” hemumbled. “Your stylist?”

“Portia?” she asked, sounding far too muchhopeful.

“Yeah, maybe.” he shrugged – and immediatelyregretted it. “Broken jaw. Couldn’t chat. They moved her to another cell. I’mguessing you’re my new roommate.”

“They keep me with Johanna usually.” shewhispered. “They hurt me to make her behave.”

“You mentioned.” he snorted and still found itunbelievable that Jo would care at all. There was no love lost between thosetwo. Just like there was no love lost between them probably. He studied her as best as he could in thesemi-darkness, noting the way she hugged herself and the shivers. “You’recold.”

“I am always cold.” she chuckled without anyamusement. “Johanna says it means my body will give in soon.”

“Let’s not go down that road.” he grumbled,shifting until he felt the wall at his back. He found a sitting position thatwasn’t too hard on his ribs and opened his good arm. “Come here, love. Not goodfor much right now but I can still keep a girl warm.”

She hesitated for a long time before movingcloser. She was wary when she leaned into his side, mindful of her injuries aswell as his.

It was awkward on several different levels.

The least of which being her promise that shewould cut his remaining hand if he ever tried to grope her again. He was almosttempted to try just for the laugh of it.

“They are doing something to Peeta.” she whisperedafter a long moment.

He tried to open his swollen eye and gave up.“I’m guessing they’ve done stuff to all of us, love.”

“No.” she countered. “They are… I do not knowwhat they are doing to him. I do not know! But it is bad. He is…” Her voice broke and sheshook her head. “I keep telling Johanna Haymitch will come.”

“He will.” he said quietly. He knew his friend.If there was a chance to free the boy, Haymitch would take it. And he wouldgrab Jo and the rest of them on the way.

“I am not so sure.” she confessed. “It’s been…It’s been so long…”

“When he can, he’ll come.” Chaff insisted.“Come on, Trinket, you know our boy. He doesn’t give up on family.”

“He won’t give up on the children…” shemumbled, sounding a bit out of it. Her breathing was too raspy for his tastes.He wondered if she had broken ribs of her own. It occurred to him they mighthave tossed her in there so he could watch her die.

“Won’t give up on his girl either.” he chidedher, giving her a small jolt that made her whimper in pain. “You hang inthere.”

“Not his girl.” she protested weakly.

“Yeah, right…” he scowled. “You know, you’regetting skinned for it, might as well own up to it.”

“I’m his bitch…”she countered with bitterness. “There is no denying that anymore. It doesn’tmake me his girl. He doesn’t care about me. They’re right.”

“Trinket, if you really think that, then youdon’t know him at all.” he accused. And she musthave known better. Haymitch always insisted she was much clever than they all gaveher credit for… “Why do you think they’re keeping you?”

“To kill me at the right moment.” she retortedsleepily. “To weaken him. It does notmean…”

“Oh, yeah, it does.” he scoffed. “He’s been crazy about you for years. Stop italready.”

“You’re wrong.” she argued but her voice wasgetting fainter and her weight against his side was heavier.

“No, I ain’t.” he insisted. “You’re justfalling asleep or you’re dying on me, love? Warn a guy.”

“I’m tired…” she whispered. “I’m so tired… I can’t… I can’t let Johannasee… I have to… The children come first. We promised. The children come first.I have to protect them. I have to…”

He was surprised not to be surprised by thestrength in her voice despite how soft her words were. Trinket had always beena feisty little thing. He had just not know she could be brave too. MaybeHaymitch was right after all, maybe there were things about her he just didn’tunderstand.

“Ain’t no child, love. You can let go with me.”he offered. “But no dying, yeah? When I get out of here I don’t want to have toexplain to my best friend that his girl died on me.”

She half-chuckled, half-sobbed, her face brieflyburying in his shoulder.

“I miss him…” she confessed after a couple ofminutes, pain and longing lacing her voice. “I wanted to see him again. Ireally wanted to…” She licked her lips. “My body is numb. I can’t feel the painanymore. Johanna said…”

“You’re not dying on me, Trinket.” he said morefirmly, a bit panicked. “Come on. Talk to me. Tell me something about you.”

“Like what?” she murmured.

“I don’t know.” he sighed. “Anything that keepsyou talking. What do you want to do when this is over? Say the rebels win…”

“Can they?” she asked.

“I’m an optimist.” he dismissed. “So. You’refree to do anything you want with your life… What do you do?”

She was silent for a moment before he heard herlick her lips again. Or try to. If she was half as thirsty as he was…

“I really don’t know..” she answeredeventually.

“You’ve got no imagination, love.” hecomplained. “I’m gonna take a holiday and do nothing for a whole year. Hell,I’ll go visit Finnick in Four. He’s always going on and on about that place.Can’t be a bad place to be. Maybe we should all go. Have a little victorsholiday.”

“I am not a victor.” she pointed out.

“Like Haymitch would leave you behind.” hescowled.

“He did once.” She sounded bitter.

“He’d never have left you to be tortured.” heoffered quietly. “There’s an explanation somewhere.”

“I hope it’s a good one.” she remarked. “Toobad I will never hear it.” Her breathing was becoming more and more raspy andChaff’s worry was increasing by the second. It wasn’t just that he didn’t wantTrinket to die – it would crush Haymitch and he didn’t particularly want toshare his cell with a corpse – but it felt like forever since he had talked tosomeone like that. It felt like having a friend. “I love him, you know…” shemurmured. “Tell him if I… I love him…”

He tried to keep her awake. He asked questionsshe gave not quite coherent answers to.

He waited and waited for the guards to come by,hoping he could… He wasn’t sure what he could do to convince them to help her.Maybe that was another form of torture. Maybe next they would toss Jo in thereand let him watch while she die.Maybe it was all a ploy to make him talk or…

Trinket had long fallen asleep when the acridsmell burned his nose. He opened his good eye to see the room filled with fog.

He held his breath.

As long as he could he held his breath.

One whiff was enough for him to get sleepy…

He was already going under when the door was brutallyopened.

“That’s Chaff Mitchell.” a man said. “He’s onthe list. Grab him and let’s get out of here. We still need to find Mellark.”

“Who’s the woman?” someone else answered.“She’s not a victor, right? Should we…”

“We can’t save everyone, Hawthorne.” the firstvoice retorted, not sounding very pleased about that. “It’s going to be hardenough to get out with the ones we came for.”

Chaff felt hands prying Trinket away from hisside and he fought against the oblivion that wanted to swallow him. His goodhand grabbed an arm. He wasn’t quite sure whose.

“Take her.” he muttered.

The man who was looming over him shook hishead, looking sorry. “My orders are to grab the victors and go. I’m sorry but…”

“She’s…” he tried but it was too complicated toexplain. His brain wasn’t up to elaborate explanations. “Haymitch. She’sHaymitch’s. Take her.”

“You don’t understand.” the guy insisted. “Wecan’t take all the prisoners in this place. We came for you.”

“Take her.”he spat one last time, shoving the man away from him. “Tell Haymitch… TellHaymitch…” His good eyelid fluttered close. “He… He owes me one… yeah? Get herto…”

He had no idea what happened next or if he haddreamt the whole thing.

The next time he woke up Trinket was gone andhe was alone.

The Peacekeepers kept on coming and askingquestions as if nothing had happened. He figured he must have imagined it all.He figured he was going a little crazy.

He was definitely bordering on insane when thedoor opened on Haymitch months later.

He was feverish, mad with pain and half-dead.He was long used to hallucinations by then and it took him a while for him tobelieve his friend when he told him it was over, that he was free.

Free.

What a joke.

When he come in a hospital room a while later,feeling blissfully high on drugs, Haymitch was sitting right there, next to thebed. It felt like a strange reversal of all those years ago, when he had waitedfor a sixteen year old kid with far too much spunk to wake up.

“Tell me you’ve sneaked in some booze.” hemumbled and then opened and closed his mouth a few times. It was parched.

Haymitch startled, his grey eyes darting to hisface. “Chaff.”

“How long?” he asked. Because the question hadhaunted him for far too long.

“A few months.” Haymitch said. It was nowherenear precise enough but before he could complain about it, his friend hadgrabbed his hand. Weird. They weren’t touchy-feely. “Thank you.”

It took him a while to understand what Haymitchmeant. That short period of time with Trinket all that time ago felt like adream to him. He hadn’t been sure it had been real. The whole rescue thing…“They took her to you, then?”

“Yeah.” Twelve’s victor nodded, relief andgratitude mixing on his face. “Just in time too. She wouldn’t… She barely madeit to Thirteen. If you hadn’t…”

“Yeah.” he cut him off with a shrug, not reallyeager to be reminded that he could have been out of that prison much earlier. “She’s your girl, ain’tshe? Couldn’t let her die.”

“Thank you.” Haymitch said again, far toogravely.

There was more going on, he figured.

He only learned later about Everdeen’s sister,the dead kids at the Circle and who was really responsible for it. He learnedabout Finnick too. And about Annie’s pregnancy. And about far too many thingsat once.

He was frustrated with his own physical recoveryand couldn’t quite focus on Haymitch’s recurring rants.

Truth be told, he was almost relieved when theothers finally showed up, having finally been transferred from Thirteen. It wasgood to see Jo and Annie.

He wasn’t entirely sure about being huggedwithin an inch of his life by a small blond woman he could barely situate untilhe met her blue eyes.

“Thank you.” Trinket whispered in his earbefore planting a kiss on her cheek.

He was a bit embarrassed but he covered it upwith one of his familiar leer. “Now, love… You know Haymitch gets jealouseasy…”

There was laughter and nobody noticed he wasmostly pretending. Trinket was the only one who looked at him as if she had aclue. She was quieter than he remembered, more subdued. She reached out forHaymitch sometimes, as if to reassure herself he was really there, and Twelve’svictor was more open about his feelings than he had ever seen him. It wasnothing exceptional but the looks and the small discrete gestures of comfortspoke volumes. Chaff made some jokes, mostly because he felt it was expected ofhim.

He stopped joking when Trinket self-appointedherself his physical therapy coach.

Haymitch didn’t have time, Johanna was too fullof anger and short of patience, Annie needed to take it easy and the doctorsall agreed he needed support. He wasn’t sure how to explain he didn’t know howto find support in an escort with whom he had never really seen eye to eyebefore.

It was funny how sharing a cell, howeverbriefly, could change things though.

She seemed to have a gift to know when he wasfaking cheerfulness or when it was necessary to leave him alone, no matter howmuch he protested they weren’t bothering him.

It pained him to admit Haymitch had been right.

She was a good person.