#i actually watched this a long time ago but kept forgetting to add it.

[yanderes-galore]

Hi hope it’s not too late to request from lmk , can I please request yandere Monkey king romantic hcs with a darling who refuses to be immortal with him or if you wanna add some comedy what if reader without knowing is avoiding it XD Monkey king offers reader a peach , reader doesn’t like peaches , Reader is feeling under the weather , Monkey king offers her some pills turns out reader already got some pills with her XD

Huh... Sure! I can try my best ^^ Here's my ideas on the topic. Made it female due to the pronouns used in the ask.

Yandere! Sun Wukong with Darling trying not to be immortal

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Manipulation, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Deception, Forced Immortality, Existential crisis, Consenusal turned forced relationship.

Being an immortal being can no doubt be lonely at times.

Wukong had learned this a long time ago when he realized he kept losing his closest companions.

While nowadays Wukong is considered a famous hero surrounded by adoring fans, sometimes he still feels... upset.

If Wukong ever wanted to love someone... especially a human... He'd have to deal with their mortality at some point.

But... Sun Wukong would never fall for a human.

...

Then he met you and immediately got reminded of his fear.

He couldn't help it, really....

You're such a pretty girl in his eyes, someone who MK met and befriended.

Now, through his student, Wukong got to meet you.

He hates to say he was smitten at first sight... tail swaying whenever he looks at you, golden eyes wide while his face feels hot...

How sudden....

Wukong wasn't expecting to be enraptured by such a pretty thing.

Yet here he was, struggling to keep himself in check when he talks to you.

He really does try to keep things slow.

He watches over you, protects you, and acts super playful around you.

I'm talking Wukong probably pounces on you, hugs you, wraps his tail around you....

Honestly, sometimes his attraction to you isn't subtle.

He's met beautiful women and celestial beings before.

Yet... You have caught his eye in this lifetime.

Unlike any other, too.

He's never fallen this bad for a human woman before.

His first desire has always been to protect you, to keep you from harm.

You may even be aware of his feelings, of how infatuated he is.

Maybe not the degree... but you can tell with how playful he is that he's in love.

Yet while Wukong can protect you from demons and other threats... There's one thing that will take you from him eventually.

Your own mortality.

While he has thought of this fear before, you made him temporarily forget it.

He's been more focused on your pretty face and adorable mannerisms.

But occasionally, when left alone with his thoughts...

Wukong wonders what will happen if you do die of old age...?

Wukong may not act on this until years into his obsession.

Maybe for this concept you two are actually involved.

You eventually go into a relationship with Wukong, which pleases the monkey king greatly.

Now he can protect you properly.

Unfortunately... His fears tend to make Wukong seem distant.

Sure, he has you, but for how long?

How long until your time is up?

You no doubt notice this with Wukong when you're around him.

Late at night when you sleep beside him at his home, Wukong seems to be deep in thought.

His golden eyes are often worried... You're aware he gets nervous about potential threats...

But you had no clue how bad it was.

You always comforted him by pulling him close, petting his fur as you cuddled him.

It never solves the problem.

While you may be comfortable with your mortality as a human, Wukong isn't.

You may learn of his fears in passing conversation.

"Do you ever wish for immortality?"

When you decline, saying you're happy with your current lifespan, Wukong stays silent.

You know he worries about losing you... That's the downside of being immortal...

Yet you never wished for the same lengthened lifespan.

Wukong probably would make his partner immortal.

You're not like most humans to him...

You're special, you're his, you're practically soulmates to him....

Would he manipulate you into it? I can see it.

While deception is more of a Macaque thing... Wukong is still quite capable of it.

Honestly, he's stolen a Peach of Immortality before...

I can see him using MK or himself to get another one to trick you into eating it.

He doesn't expect you to eat it willingly.

Who knows, maybe like you said you really don't like peaches?

So... What's exactly stopping him from hiding it in your food?

Even if you weren't partners, you'd probably trust him enough to accept a gift of good from him.

You wouldn't realize until it's too late that he's tricked you.

"You can be mad, I expect it... but soon you'll thank me. Now you and I are together, forever, for all of eternity. Isn't it exciting, peaches?"

It isn't exciting, it's nerve-wracking.

Now you'll be outliving all your friends and family.

Due to Wukong's selfish desire to not be alone, he isolated you.

Now he's the only one you have.

He will be for many years to come.

Wukong tries to tell you it won't be so bad, that you'll love being with him like you always have...

Yet you're already calculating how long you have with him.

To Wukong, making you immortal soothes his own fears and keeps you as his... To him, it's a happy ending.

To you? Well...

It only gives you more fears when you think of the future with him.

[floridecuts]

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Bonus

And here's the epilogue, guys! Hope you'll enjoy it! ^^ I actually had wanted to draw Yashiki with the kids for this part's chapter art but this week hasn't been great for me on the creative side, sadly. After a lot of struggling I threw the towel and ended up just drawing (a hopefully cute) Yashiki. Anyway, I want to give my thanks again to all readers and a special big Thank You to everyone leaving comments! I'm super grateful for your support and that you took the time and effort to write these!! <3

With this part, we've finally cracked the 100-pages-mark! I never thought this project would become this big when I started working on it a few months ago, but here we are! xD So this plays one day after the successful pacification of the Departed. Yashiki is still in the hospital to recover but already feeling a lot better! I guessed it would make sense to have him getting a cold because of the events the night before - he'd been dragged out of bed by the Departed, held in it's clutches for who knows how long only wearing thin hospital clothes in a chilly cold room (because spirits often cause the room temperature to drop). Not to forget that his health state hasn't been the best in general since he fell victim to the curse. I just liked to add that small detail. ^^

I was glad that I found a way to include Ai and Tsukasa here, so I got almost every Mark Bearer included in this story (sorry Banshee ^^'). I know it's probably a bit weird that Ai is wearing her idol costume here when doing a hospital visit. I thought about drawing her in some alternate everyday clothes but decided against it because I didn't want her to be the only one to wear a non-canon outfit. My explanation for her wearing that in this scene is that Ai just returned from that "idol-buisness trip" and, after hearing that Yashiki is in the hospital, went straight there after work.

I hope I did Moe's character justice here. I can just imagine her being a little cheeky and very enthusiastic about the OOPArts Monthly. About the rabbit figurine: I had the idea that Yashiki, being very talented in crafting, once carved that rabbit for Saya, maybe even when they were still kids. It could have been one of his first masterpieces! It had been a precious item for Saya, a symbol of her brother's love for her, so she held it dear and unconsciously it became infused with her spiritual energy. Even after her death her spirit kept watching over Yashiki. To help him when he fell victim to the Departed's curse, her spirit reached out to Yasuoka, guiding her to the Kujou Mansion to get that figurine. Yasuoka didn't exactly know what it would do, but she knew it would be important, so she put it inside that O-Mamori and gave it to Yashiki at her visit. I like to think that, after the Departed's case, Yashiki keeps holding onto it, always carrying it in his pocket, both as a memento to his sister and a lucky charm.

The idea with the OOPArts article about Yashiki was actually a spontaneous idea. I found the thought so amusing that I just had to include it! xD Hope it makes someone else smile too! Also, a blushing and embarassed Yashiki is so adorable! In the end Mashita appears and saves Yashiki from Moe's mischief. He came because Yashiki specifically asked him to. Since he woke up from that coma there's been something Yashiki needs to talk about with him. What it is about will be covered in the bonus part - the next and also last part of this comic (it's gonna be extra long!). I chose to make a seperate bonus part because it's Yashita shipping content (nothing drastic though!). But still, in case anyone does not want to be confronted with this shipping they can just skip that last part without missing any story relevant content. But from what I've seen in the few months I've been in this fandom, I got the impression this won't be much of an issue. xD

Lastly, I am happy to announce that the bonus part is actually a collaboration with a friend! I want to give a shout out for her amazing and beautifully written Yashita fanfictions! You can find her works on AO3, her username is MoonflowerSong. Go check them out if you like, they are so sweet! <3

Link: MoonflowerSong on AO3

I wish you all a nice week! Thanks for taking a look! :)

[at1nys-blog]

Some stories gets told: The start

Pairing: OPLA!Roronoa Zoro x reader

Summary: After the duel with Mihawk, reader can't seem to leave Zoro's side while he is fighting between staying alive and reaching for an old friend

A/N: the way I am putting so much efforts in this is crazy, literally watching scenes in loop to understand how to add things and if they actually work in the original setting of the live action. I mentioned de@th a couple of times but briefly considering how long this is getting. Created a new village on Gecko Island for the sake of this ff Miro Village does not exists in the world of one piece, if it does I'm a lucky mf lol.

Pt.1\Masterlist\\Pt.2

If three days ago people would have told her she was going to fight Kalahadore and his minions, she would have laughed at her faces; if three days ago people would have told her she was going to enjoy a trio of wanna be pirates she would have laughed it off saying that the only crew she was going to join was the same as Yasopp's; if three days ago people would have told her that she was going to face one of her greatest fears, she would have joked about it, but there she was after a fight with Kaya's butler in the company of three wanna be pirates.

The bar was filled with pirates and some Marines, or so she thought. Her blurry vision was not of help, everyone dressed in blue or white, or white and blue, was a possible enemy that was waiting for the right time to strick an attack and bring them back to headquarters.

-...sea slug.-she heard the swordsman say, confused to why he was talking about sea slug, which, by the way, she thought were very cute, she asked for some explanations. Nami only pointed at Usopp, dancing with his usual grace and talent, if that could even be called grace or talent.

-Look at him. Like he doesn't have a care in the world.- the orange haired girl stated, she wanted to replay, to say that in reality Usopp was just putting on a facade, but who was she to spill secrets that were not of her owns? No one, so she just kept quite and went back to her drink. A not well made one on her humble opinion, but at least she was able to drink and have fun.

The girl, once again that night, went back into her own thoughts forgetting she was in company but even if she wanted to have a conversation with the two in her heart she knew it wasn't a good idea. Not when drunk and knowing such state meant spilling everything that was on her mind.

-..you drink.- that was the key word that got her attention, if drinking was in the equation she wanted to be part of whatever they were doing. -You guess something about me, I drink.- he said pouring some of the rum in three little glasses.

-uuhhh I want to play.-

-Not now.-they both said in unison.

-First round is between me and the thief.- Zoro said not taking his eyes off of Nami which smirked at the boy.

If her attention was on Usopp and having her drink, now it was on her two new friends having a drinking game.

-I bet yu grew up in a big city, running schemes, hanging out in swanky bars like this one.-Zoro was the first one to try and guess under Nami advice, she gave him a second smirk. Y/N imagines the swordsman got it wrong from how the girl next to her reacted. And she was right.

-You might be thirsty.-Nami said. -I grew up in a small village. Barely a village. Just an handful of houses in the center of a tangerine grove.- Y/N started to picture how beautiful that might have been, that once again her mind alienated her from the conversation.

Y/N didn't know how long she was gone in her little world, but when she was back to reality second round was on, and this time she wanted to partecipate, but aparently the universe didn't want her to play that Usopp came back at the table with "his new best friend" or whatever.

-What did you say your name was again?-he asked sitting next to Nami.

-Which one of you is Monkey D. Luffy?-Y/N noticed Nami trying to get some informations out of the new nameless guy, asking who wanted to know such a question.

-You are Dracule Mihawk.- the name didn't ring any bell to Y/N, she had never heard that name, or at least while she was intoxicated from all the alcohol she had, the name was completely new to her ears.

-I have business with your captain. If you know what's good for you, you'll hand him over.- she noticed the man didn't like to beat around the bush, he just wanted to get to Luffy.

-We don't know anyone named Luffy. Right, guys?- Y/N looked at Nami confused.

-What do you mean we don't know him? He came here with us.- she turned to the elegant dressed man and told him that Monkey D. Luffy was somewhere around the Baratie but she didn't know exactly where.

-You are unbeliavable.-

-What? Is true he was with us and now he is not.- she defended herself, the two of them started to bicker: Nami trying to explain to her friend why she was supposed to lie, but their attention was back at Zoro when they hard him saying Mihawk, was it Mihawk?, she didn't care much, what she cared about was why for the East Blue did he say that the man was going to die the very next day.

In that moment Y/N was sober in an instant, her brain was back to function normally and so her body. She moved forward, motion followed by the girl next to her, she wanted to understand fully what was happening, maybe she heard wrong. Maybe Zoro was just playing around but even if she had known the man for less than a week she could tell he never joked, at least not about somo random guy dying.

-I, Roronoa Zoro, challenge you to a duel to the death.-

-To the what now?- she said as a reflex, it was not like she meant to say out loud but it happens and the fact that Mihawk was staring at her was not helping her nervouness to settle down. The man turned back almost immediatly letting the green haired swordsman know he never heard of him, implying how small of a fly he was in his eyes.

-They call me the Demon Pirate Hunter. But my lifelong dream it to best you in single combat and become the greatest swordsman in the world.- now that is a great dream compared to hers, that just wanted to live numerous adventures and write about them.

Y/N started to second guess if starting such a journey was even worth it, she was surrended by people with amazing dreams, even Usopp had a better dream than hers. She shook the thoughts away, now she had to more important matter to care about.

Once the challenge was accepted and the time was set Mihawk left and she was on her feet in an instant, she tried to say something but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat. She was speechless, Zoro did not just challenged someone that, for what she got from their conversation, is the most powerful and skilled swrodsman out there.

-You just have signed up your death sentence, you idiot.- she said and left to head back to the Going Merry.

Zoro was polishing his swords when Usopp came back with Luffy behind him, Y/N was silently listening to the conversation happening in the room, not really knowing how to handle the situation. Sure wasn't her friend, how could he be after a day they have known each other? But she didn't want him dead already.

Words of the conversation came and didn't so her brain didn't process half of what they had been talking about, she just knew Nami was trying her best to change Zoro's mind.

It was after Luffy and Usopp left the room that Zoro spoke directly to her that night, asking why she was still there.

-The promise.- she had heard that part, his dream was a promise made to someone; he was going to die just for a promise he made in the past. -did you made it to your friend?- he didn't answer but his body language told her everything she wanted to know. -in that case, I hope you are not going to die. Good luck.- she said walking outside ready to go and try to have some good sleep.

Waking up the next morning felt like a task, her head was pouding so much that if she had too many thoughts her head was going to explode in milion pieces for the lack of space. Trying to stand up from her hammock without falling was another task she didn't know how she managed to carry out, her legs feeling like jelly pudding but she managed to stay on her feet and following the boys outside, after wearing a pair of sunglasses.

The duel started and Y/N wanted to go back on the ship. She didn't want to see Zoro lose, she believed Zoro was a strong fighter and very much the most talented swordsman she ever knew but if his opponent had decided to use a tiny sword that looked like more like a knife, there was a high chance his friend was going to die in the worst case scenario.

The first time the weapon inflicted a scar on Zoro, Y/N gasped and hold onto Usopp to not fall butt flat on the ground for the scare it gave her.

-Why don't you retreat?- Mihawk's voice was cold, dry of any type of emotion when he spoke to him.

-I can't.-

-He can't.- a whisper, taken away from the wind in an istant, not Usopp nor Luffy behind her heard what she said and she was glad. She didn't want to explain herself, not right now.

-Or my dream will be lost forever.- and this is when things got for the worse. The swordsman took out Yoru, the sword he carries on his back and there was a fraction of seconds after the collision between the weapons where it felt like time stopped for good. Then the glenging of Zoro's swords hitting the ground broken into pieces. Y/N gasped, holding tighter on her best friend's arm.

The green haired boy sheated his good sword in place, opened his arms to form a T with his whole body. Tension grew in the air, everyone knew what was going to happen.

While the rest of the crew gave a glance towards each other she couldn't. Her eyes, even if weakened by the bright sun rays, couldn't leave the form of the boy that was about to die in a second now.

-ZORO- Luffy was the first to react, in a second the boy with the straw hat was next to his first mate, hoping to not see him dying in his hands. The conversation him and Mihawk had came in and out Y/N ears, she was focused on praying for the boy to not die.

Usopp was next, he run to his friends' side, pulling her with him in the process, she tripped loosing the grip on his best friend and falling on the ground. Nami tried to help her up, asking if she was okay but she was just able to keep silent.

It was just like when she was a kid and her father had died; it was like when she was a little girl and saw his first friend die, it was as if death was following her wherever she was going collecting people she loved one after the other. Her nails became such an important thing to stare at, she couldn't stand the sight of the pirates around Zoro, trying to speak comforting words that he was going to be okay.

He is not going to be okay, she thought, how could he? He had lost already too much blood and the more they were staying there doing nothing the more he was going to be more on the other side.

It was Nami that brought everyone back to reality and started to shout orders left and right. She asked the boys to take Zoro from the arms while she and Y/N would hold him from the legs.

Everything became a race with time, the more they wasted the more likely was for Zoro to die of blood loss. The four of them put him on the table of the kitchen; Usopp started to run around trying to find some towels or everything that could come in handy; Nami checked on the wounds; Luffy started to space out, every type of noise started to fade out and Y/N didn't know what to do, once again in her life she didn't know how to save another life.

-Someone...- the (your hair color) haired girl knew what she had to do, if no one was of any help she had to find someone that could be. She sprinted outside heading back to the resturant, they had to have a doctor or some sort of thing, didn't they? If that was not the case she was just unlucky.

Entering the resturant she clumsly tried to remember where was the kitchen, the place wasn't that big but in her mental state it was going to be hard remembering her own name.

When she found the door she rushed in, getting the chef and waiter's attention. The blond guy smirked, ready to flirt with her but noticing the worried expression on her face he just asked her if everything was fine.

-Nothing is fine.-she catched her breath for a moment. -Zoro got... He has a very pretty bad sword wound we need a doctor.- please tell me there is one on board, please please please. Her eyes were staring at the owner of the establishment and her face dropped when he said that the closest one was two days from there. Just my luck.

-I can't help you. Hope your friend makes it.-

-No, please you have to help us, please. Maybe there is a doctor on...-

-Ehy, where do you think you're going?- she wanted to punch the chef, he was totally ignoring her call of help and cared more where his waiter was going than on the live or death situation she presented him.

-To help her friend.- said Sanji

-Brunch is not gonna prep itself.- he reminded him. She was totally going to punch him if he ignored once again what was happening.

-You always told me to feed anyone who's hungry.- she heard him saying while looking around the room. -I don't see how this is any different.- he added.

The owner of the resturant sighed, realizing that he had no other choice but try and do somethig to help the dying kid.

-Fine. Bring me my kitchen knives and a bottle of our best whiskey. And a fresh yellowtail from the cooler. Bigger the better.-he ordered and started walking outside. Sanji was confused, why would Zeff need a yellowtail? -Just do it already.-

Y/N walked them to the Merry and once she pointed the direction of the kitchen, she let them go in first. She wanted to stay away from there, she didn't want her bad luck to linger over Zeff while he worked on Zoro's wounds.

It had been some time since the two chefs came to stich the swordsman up so when she saw the chef leaving the kitchen she jumped on her feet asking how her friend was doing. Zeff assured her the guy was resting but only time could have told if he was going to live or not.

She walked inside meeting eyes with Usopp, Luffy stop tending on Wado and looked at her, giving the girl a forced smile, and she did the same. She was in no shape for smiling sincerely.

-How is he doing?-her tone was almost inaudible if it wasn't for the lack of noises.

-He is resting now, we are hoping for the best.-Usopp answered, she looked in the direction of Nami's room but then changed her mind. She didn't want for her bad luck to make things worse.

Usopp noticed. He always did. He had know her for a long time now and could read her like an open book. He knew what she had to go through, she had told him, trusting in his vow to not say a thing.

-You can go and talk to him. Maybe he would like to hear from a more gentle voice.- he joked.

-I heard that.- that made her laugh a little and she made a note to herself to thank her best friend for the joke.

-But...-he started again, Y/N stopped him, it was fine. She was going to stay in her room for the time being hoping that everything was going to get better.

-What's up with her?-Asked a worried Sanji looking the girl dissapearing from his view. After she had left the cook tried to get some info out the sniper but the man brushed it off lying that he wished to know as well.

Entering her room she locked herself in, not wanting people in for now, she wished for some alone time.

She went to the little desk and turned on the snail radio searching for a station worth listening to hear. Every station she picked were talking about some piracy activity around the East Blue or the New World, some had music but nothing that was of her taste. Her patience was running short, nothing was good enough, growing impatience she took the snail and throw it away.

The object made a loud noise that had been heard downstairs for sure, but she didn't care. She really didn't. She got herself under the blanket, cold running throught her body even tho the weather was pretty warm.

It took her nothing to fall asleep, and to be surrended by her nightmares coming back to make her sleep difficult. Between the faces that she was used to see screaming at her, putting the blame on her a new was added to the crowd: Zoro's. He wasn't talking like the others, he was silently looking at her dissapointment all over his features. Y/N tried to apologize, but words couldn't come out, they were stuck making her choke on air.

-Z...-nothing, her throat felt dry, like the ground back in Syrup Village during the drought. She felt powerless as usual. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, she wanted to apologize but it was hard when the only thing you can do is breath.

Breating, the only thing she was able to do was to breath but with time she found herself having an hard time doing that as well, dropping on the ground. Tears creeped out her eyes, watering her eye line but she tried her best to fight the urge to cry her eyes out.

She woke up covered in sweat and sighed asking herself when was she going to stop having nightmares or was she going to live like that forever? If that was the case she hoped the sea was going to take her as soon as possible, before she was going to lose her mind.

After a quick shower and a change of outfit she tippy toed outside her room making sure no one was around she headed to check on Zoro. She was happy to see they were alone in that moment.

She closed the door behind her and for a moment she pondered if it was a better idea go back to her room and stay there untill her friends were back, no she decided to keep Zoro company for a while. Maybe she didn't really know what to say, but the words were going to come at some point, wouldn't they?

She moved the chair closer to the bed he was resting on, glanced for a while his hand. Was oaky for her to hold it? Was he going to even feel it? She didn't know what to do, she had found herself in that position countless of times and yet it was just like the first time.

-Zeff told me it is a good idea to talk to you but honestly I don't even know what to say.- she thought she was sounding stupid, who on the seven seas starts a conversation like that? Her for sure. -Usopp hasn't always been my best friend, I had one before I met him. She was older than me, not much older, just two years of diference.- she smiled. -I was new to Miro Village. The first two months she was really mean to me so I would avoid her most of the times, even thought she would find ways to bully me so I gave up. She did everything in her power to make me upset, she blamed everything on me to get me in trouble like that one time she stole an entire cart of fruits and told the major it was my fault. He had to call in my parents, they wanted to talk to my dad about my behaviour but little they know he was dead. He had died some weeks prior I moved there, the journey wasn't that long since I used to live nearby but no one knew, how could they? Is not like I talked about it nor anyone cared to ask why a lonely little girl walked miles to get there, they were just happy there was someone doing the jobs no one wanted. She apologized for how she treated me but to be honest with you it wasn't that important, she was the only one that paid attention to me, yes you might argue it was not the best way but when you are a kid that goes unnoticed you kinda of like it when someone talks to you, even if is just to make fun of you.- she took a deep breath, now it came the hard part. -We started to get closer and closer until one day pirates raided the village, they took her because she was trying to protect little ol' me. They killed her on the spot and I was going to follow her if it wasn't for a random citizen pumbing into the pirate. It gave me the window to run away and I found shelter in Syrup Village where I met Usopp. Sometimes I see her in my dreams, she is always mad at me because I ran away and I didn't help her, sometimes I think back at...-

Someone was on board, she could tell, checking who was she felt safe seeing her captain. Luffy walked past her ignoring her presence, not because he didn't like her, for all the seas if that was the case she couldn't even have thought on putting a single foot on his ship, the captain had to fix the problem first thing first.

-Hey, Zoro. You sure missed a big fight. Those fishman guys were though. You would have loved it.- she smiled, knowing that was 100% so true. -...great dinner. All of us sitting around together, listening to Usopp's stories. Only I kinda messed it up. And now I lost Nami.- schock was painted all over Y/N, what was he talking about? Losing Nami? How? When? Why?

-...but I know what to say now, and is so simple. I need you, Zoro. I need you to wake up.- the girl felt ashemed, she wasn't able to say those simple words, indeed went on about her childhood friend that died to protect her. She was glad that her captain got the courage to say those words.

-You gonna keep talking, or let me get some sleep? Geez, you people really like to talk uhm?- Luffy jumped on top of Zoro, Y/N was only able to stare at the two boys in front of her. He was alive, how? She was pretty sure he was done for. She thanked whoever decided to let him live.

Luffy hugged his first mate, making him groan out of pain.

-Luffy, Luffy get off you are hurting him.- the girl said and before she could help the straw hat pirate down he was already on his feet.

She was now standing next to Luffy, looking at Zoro with a small smile on her face.

-I had the strangest dream that Nami left.-

-She did.-

-What do you mean she did? Why?-

-It's my fault. She left...- he started but Zoro cut him off.

-No, you didn't do anything wrong. You acted like a captain.- Luffy couldn't understand, if he did actually act like a captain, why was the crew falling apart more and more? -No, it's not. I, Roronoa Zoro, vow to stand by your side from now until the end. Until we find the One Piece or die trying.- he kept on with his vow and Y/N could only admire the boy for that. She started thinking if she was in any position to vow eternal loyalty or if her presence on the Going Merry was just temporary, she hoped not for the latter.

-so what do you say?-

-What?-

-Do you want to be part of my crew as a loyal member?-she was taken aback, no one had ever asked for her opinion on important metters, she grew up following orders. If she was told to do something her only concern was to carry on the task, no question asked, but now? Now she was given the chance to choose: eaither stay on board and become a part of the Straw Hat pirates, or leave and starting fresh a new life somewhere else.

-If you accept me, I'll be honored to follow you and protect this crew and the one in needs.-

-Of course I accept you, why would have I asked to join in the first place? Now...- the three of them got interrupted by Usopp screaming and happy to see his friend awake.

-I wasn't worried for a second.-

-Yeah, not worried at all, in fact I was the one...-

-HE IS ALIVE.-he said raising with such force his hand and Zoro's in the process, making the wounded guy groan out of pain.

-LUFFY STOP. - she separeted the two, taking Zoro's hand in hers. -For all the seas, you are going to give him an embaracing death one of those days I am telling you.- she was still holding his hand when the green haired swordsman cleared his throat to get her attention. -Sorry.-

-So, now what we do? Plot a curse to the Grand Line?-

-No, not yet.- was his answer.

-But I thought we were going after the One Piece?-

-We are, but we can't do it without our whole crew.- she smiled, knowing exactly where he was going with that. First mission before heading to the Grand Line: getting Nami back.

-Great, now you two start getting everything ready. I am going to change his bandage.-

-I can do...-the captain started.

-I am not leaving the first mate under your care. You keep treating him like a doll. Now please let get ready to leave.

-I can do it myself.- he groaned trying his best to stand up, but failed.

-dude, you can't even seat without help. Now shut up and let me help you.- he let a small "fine" not sure about the whole situation but it was either that or groaning every two seconds. And as much as his ego screamed at him that it wasn't to be that bad, he gave up and thought that maybe he really needed a little bit of help.

[velvetheist]

When He Comes Back

Warnings: NSFW (smut)

Minors, please do not interact for the safety of your age and minds.

I'm debating on making this a 3 or 4 part story. I have some one-shot drafts saved and I think it would be a good idea to add to the plot just for the heck of it. Please let me know if you would think it would be good idea.

Gosh, it felt like I was working on this for a long time now. I definitely struggled a bit because writing smut is definitely not up my alley (I actually want to write more smut with other characters, I just get too flustered to do so). I hope that you all enjoy this. <3

The past week had been nothing short of chaotic. Violent storms had rolled through the city, bringing howling winds and relentless downpours that rattled windows and flooded streets. Now, the rain had settled into a steady rhythm, tapping softly against the windows. The power had gone out not too long ago, plunging everything into darkness, but you had come prepared.

You sat on your couch, one leg tucked beneath you, a half-full glass of wine cradled in your hand. The soft flicker of candlelight danced across the room, casting warm, wavering shadows against the walls. Scattered candles surrounded each room—some tall, some short. The glow wasn’t much, but it was enough.

A small sigh left your lips as you sank deeper into the couch. You swirled the wine in your glass, watching the candlelight catch in its deep red hue. Your mind was elsewhere—on him.

You remembered the night you met Jigen, months ago, in a small, dimly lit bar not too far from here. You walked in for a distraction after a long day and that’s when you saw him—sitting alone at the counter, his hat tilted just enough to cast a shadow over his sharp features, a half-empty glass in front of him.

Something about him intrigued you. Maybe it was the air of quiet danger that surrounded him, the way he carried himself—calm, calculated, but with a restlessness lurking just beneath the surface. Or maybe it was just the way he didn’t immediately push you away when you slid onto the barstool next to him.

At first, the conversation between you two had been simple, but as the night went on the alcohol loosened your words. The tension had shifted. Both of you leaned in closer, exchanged slow, knowing glances, the pull between you undeniable. By the time you left the bar, the attraction had already taken hold.

You sighed, setting your glass down on the coffee table as you leaned back against the couch. you weren't naïve. You knew what you were getting involved—better yet—who you were getting involved with when you met Jigen. He had made it clear from the start that it didn’t mean anything. And yet, here you were thinking about him.

Ever since that first encounter, Jigen would show up every now and then, sometimes announcing his arrival and never making promises. It became a habit of his—this unspoken routine. He never had a reason for coming, or at least not one he’d say out loud.

You would sit together, talk over drinks. Sometimes, it was about nothing. Pointless, sarcastic banter here and there. Other times, it was heavier, though never too much. Jigen wasn’t the type to lay it all out on the table, and you never pressed him to.

As the drinks kept coming and the night stretched on, the space between you would shrink. A fleeting touch, a lingering glance—until words no longer mattered, and both of you found yourselves tangled between the sheets once again.

But no matter how many times it happened, no matter how familiar the warmth of his body became, the ending was always the same. Before the sunrise crept through the window, Jigen would be gone.

You were so deep in thought that your phone buzzed on the coffee table, breaking the silence in the air. You didn't have to look at the screen to know who was calling you at this hour. Jigen always had a way of timing his calls perfectly. Not too soon that you wouldn't miss him, but not too late that you would forget him. You picked up your phone with your free hand.

"Yeah?" You answered, keeping your voice steady. It was very strange to receive calls from Jigen. The only times that he would ever call is to see if you were available. Most of the time, he would shoot you small texts every now and then to see how you were doing.

"Where are you?" His raspy voice carried that usual nonchalance, but you know that there was a hint of something unspoken. Your heart began to race at the thought of him coming over.

"You know the address," You replied, swirling your wine in front of your face with your other hand. "You plan on stopping by?"

"That depends. Got anything to drink?" You smirked as you looked over to the countertop of your kitchen. On top sat Jigen's favorite bottle of whiskey, fully displayed to anyone who came to visit.

"Always."

---------------

An hour had passed and Jigen was at your door. His hat hovering over his eyes as always. His dark suit jacket slightly stained with raindrops from the pouring rain that was happening outside. He smelt like straight cigarettes, gunpowder and musk. You weren't sure why, but his scent drove you over the wall every time.

“You’re late.” You said, leaning against the doorframe with a glass filled with whiskey.

“I didn't realize that I was on a schedule,” Jigen replied, his tone frank. He stepped past you without waiting for an invitation, grabbing the drink from your hands and downing it in one go. He made his way over to your counter immediately after.

You watched with your arms now crossed. "You always invite yourself in like this?"

Jigen smirked, setting the glass down to pour himself another drink. He removed his gun than hanged on his belt. The metal clanged against the marble counter, his back facing you. "Would you have opened the door if I didn't?"

You rolled your eyes, but there was no real annoyance behind it. Walking over behind him, you placed your hands on his shoulders. You felt the warmth beneath his damped jacket. He didn't tense—not anymore.

The first time you met Jigen, he had been stiff as steel, wary, always ready to pull his gun at the slightest shift in the air. Now, his shoulders were looser, his posture less guarded. He let you touch him without saying a word.

“Relaxed, huh?” you murmured, fingers brushing over the fabric.

Jigen let out a low chuckle. “Guess I figured out you’re not planning to put a bullet in my back.”

You leaned in slightly, your chest against his back. “Depends on the day.”

He huffed in amusement, tipping his glass back for another sip. The silence stretched, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The rain kept falling outside, the dim candlelight flickering over the whiskey in his hand.

You slid your hands up and down his arms, gripping the sleeves of his jack soon not too long after. You tugged at the damped fabric of his coat. Jigen didn’t protest as you pulled it off of him, setting it aside on the counter.

You ran a hand down his arm. “So, how was your day?” Then, after a pause, “If it’s too gory, don’t tell me.”

Jigen huffed out a chuckle, shaking his head. He knew you weren't really comfortable hearing about all his stories that contain gruesome details. Last time he shared a bit too much that it made you nauseous. “Nah, nothing too bad.” He grabbed his glass again, rolling the whiskey inside before taking another sip. “Just wasted a whole damn week planning out a heist, only to find out Lupin’s been running it behind our backs.”

You raised an eyebrow. “And?”

Jigen smirked dryly. He turned around to face you, placing his hands on your hips. His thumbs brushing over the fabric of your shorts softly. “Turns out he’s been doing it just to hand everything over to Fujiko.”

Your fingers froze on his sleeves, your gaze falling down to the floor. Of course.

You stepped back, crossing your arms. “Should’ve figured.”

Jigen let out a long sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah. Should’ve known better. But y’know, sometimes you forget just how deep Lupin’s got it for her.”

Your eyes followed back up to his direction. “So, what now?”

Jigen's lips twitched into something between amusement and exasperation. “Dunno. Maybe I’ll finally learn my lesson.”

You smirked, as you reached to remove Jigen's hat off of his head. You placed it on top of his jacket. “Doubt it.”

“Yeah… me too.” He chuckled. His eyes trailed up and down your figure. You had on an old white T-shirt that was a bit too oversize on your form. Just below, were some shorts that were a bit too high. He wondered if you were freezing due to the weather. “You’re looking good.” His voice low and almost teasing.

“Yeah, well, I had a feeling you'd show up.” You wrapped your arms around his neck. You leaned forward to press your body against his. His body heat warm against yours. "So," you started. “Why’d you come over?”

Jigen barely blinked at the question. “A guy can’t stop by for a drink?”

You scoffed. “You’ve got a million places to drink, Jigen. You chose here.”

Jigen's hands gripped your hips as he gave you a lazy smirk. “Maybe I just like your whiskey.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You didn’t even ask what kind it was before pouring it.”

“Guess I trust your taste.”

You exhaled through your nose, shaking your head. “You’re avoiding the question.”

Jigen's hands slowly slid up from your hips to your waist. His cold, rough hands going underneath your shirt. Your breath slightly hitched at the feeling of his hands touching your warm skin. Jigen's gaze flicking away for half a second before settling back on her. “Maybe I just wanted a quiet place to think.”

You studied him for a long moment. “Uh-huh. You could’ve done that anywhere.”

“Could’ve.” He leaned his head close to yours. “Didn’t.”

You didn’t push further. Instead, you leaned in slightly as well, tilting your head up at him. “You know, Jigen, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you like my company.”

Jigen exhaled, his voice smooth, almost amused. “Careful, doll. You keep this up, and people’ll start getting ideas.”

You smirked, tilting your head. “What people?”

He chuckled lowly, the sound vibrating between you. “You, for one.”

You dragged your fingers through his hair just slightly, feeling the way his hands flexed against your waist in response. “I don’t know, Jigen. You came to me if I remember correctly.”

Jigen’s smirk deepened, but his voice remained level. “Relax, Y/n. There ain’t anything going on here.”

The teasing tone in your expression faltered for just a second before you covered it with a wry smile. Deep down, you knew that you had fallen deep for the gunman. “Right. Of course not.” You sighed through your nose, shaking your head as you leaned in closer, your lips close enough to his. “You are a real piece of work, Jigen.”

He grinned. “Takes one to know one.”

The air between you was thick, charged with something unspoken but understood. You watched him, your fingers still tingling from where they had brushed through his hair. Jigen hadn’t moved away. He stood there, watching you with that same unreadable expression, his hands on your waist as if he wasn't going to let go.

Your lips met in a slow, deliberate kiss, the kind that made your breath hitch. He tasted like whiskey and smoke, warm and familiar. Jigen wasn’t in a rush, but there was an edge to it, something controlled yet hungry. His beard brushed against your skin, and you sighed into his mouth, pressing closer.

He took that as permission.

His hands slid to your back, fingers spreading firm over the curve of your hips before gripping just enough to make your pulse spike. Then, without warning, he lifted you off the floor.

A small gasp left your lips as your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist. Jigen’s smirk was brief, swallowed in the next kiss as he carried you effortlessly through the apartment.

You barely registered the way he maneuvered you towards the bedroom, too caught up in the warmth of his body, the slow, teasing drag of his lips against yours.

You broke away just enough to murmur against his mouth, “I'm guessing this is what you actually came here for.”

Jigen chuckled, low and deep. “You wound me, doll. I had intentions to see you as well.” He kissed you again, slow and un-rushed, like he had all the time in the world. Between kisses, he added. "I have to check if you were doing okay and well."

If it weren't for the situation you were in or how sexually frustrated you had gotten, you wouldn't have let that slide and asked what he meant by that. Jigen really confused you every time he sweet talked you. You had always assumed it was the alcohol that made him say things. It made you ponder what was really going between you two or if he even saw anything in you rather than just a quick rendezvous.

He let your fingers tangle in his hair again, tilting his head slightly so you could bite at his lower lip. “You really know how to keep me on my toes.”

Jigen exhaled sharply, his grip on you tightening before he caught your mouth again. The kiss was hotter this time, edged with something reckless.

The bedroom door creaked open behind them, but Jigen didn’t slow down. He stepped inside without hesitation, his hands adjusting his hold on you, pressing you closer against him. The feel of him—solid, warm, steady—made your pulse quicken.

Then, without a word, he lowered you onto the bed.

You barely had time to catch your breath before Jigen followed, his body hovering over yours. Jigen exhaled a quiet laugh before capturing your lips again, his weight pressing just enough to keep you beneath him but not completely pinned. His hands roamed, slow and deliberate, fingers tracing all over, feeling every curve.

The kisses deepened, rougher now, laced with something he normally kept buried. His beard scratched against her skin as he moved from your lips down to your jaw, then lower, his breath hot against your throat.

You sighed, your hands trailing over to his chest to undo the buttons of his dress shirt. His dress shirt was opened, but wasn't removed fully. Your hands explored from his chest and down to his abdomen then back up. Jigen hummed against her skin, lips trailing back up until your mouths met again. His hands splayed on your hips as he rocked his hips against yours just enough to tease.

His fingers gripped the hem of your shorts and pulled them slowly down your legs. Your breath hitched as your shorts came off, the feeling of the cold air hitting the rest of your legs. His hand lowered down in between your legs. Your heartbeat and your breath quickened as his thumb drew slow, small circles on your clothed cunt. Your eyes rolled back, releasing a shaky breath.

"Well don't you just paint the prettiest picture." He commented as he started to speed up the pace in his thumb. You could only respond with a soft moan as moved hips against his thumb trying to add more friction. He decided to give you a few more strokes before he removed his hand, making you look up at him as he stopped. He pulled down your panties, discarding them to a random corner.

He got up to pull down his pants and took out his cock from his boxers. He had adjusted himself above you, aligning himself against you. He rubbed his tip at your entrance. His eyes drifted up to your flushed face, your eyes staring into his as well.

Jigen slowly pushed his cock deep inside you, making you tilt your head back against the pillow. Your back arched as you feel every inch of him stretching you out. Once he thought you had adjusted to him, he started to move his hips gently. He took a hold of your hand and pinned it right above you.

"Damn, you just feel even better every time I come." Jigen sighed as he slightly picked up the pace, your legs wrapping around his waist to bring him closer. With his other hand, he gripped the bottom of your thigh, bringing it over his shoulder to get a better angle. You whimpered as the new position hit your sweet spot. "I think I might have to keep you all to myself. Can't have others knowing how you feel. It might just drive me crazy."

“You think I have other men come over?" you retorted breathlessly. “You’re the only person who shows up unannounced and never tells me why.”

Jigen’s lips twitched in what might have been the beginning of a smile, but it didn’t fully form. He leaned his head in the crook of your neck, his breathing warm. “And you’re the one who keeps letting me in.”

“And you’re the one who keeps coming back,” You shot back. “Funny how that works, huh?”

He removed his head from your neck to look at you. His dark eyes glaring at you, sending a shiver down your spine. He pulled his hips back, the tip of his cock was the only thing inside. Your eyes widened, as you realized he wasn't going to move. You groaned in frustration, you tried to pull him closer, but Jigen held his guard. You cursed wanting more. He looked at you and laughed.

"What's wrong, doll? Don't got a mouth on you all of a sudden?” Jigen murmured, his voice low and teasing against your ear. “You never know how to use it properly when it counts.”

You scoffed. Though the sharp retort you meant to throw at him died on your tongue as he shoved himself deep inside of you again, just enough to make you gasp. Jigen kept a small antagonizing rhythm that made you whimper for more.

“Come on,” he drawled, smirking as he watched you squirm beneath him. “You want more? Ask for it.”

You glared up at him, stubborn as ever, refusing to give in so easily. But when he slowed down—teasing you—dragging out every little movement until it was unbearable, you felt your pride waver.

Your fingers curled against his back, nails pressing just enough to make him suck in a breath. “Please fuck me.”

“That’s more like it,” he muttered, voice rough as he finally gave you what you wanted. His hips picking up the pace. Your whimpers turned into lewd moans as his cock brushed against you.

The teasing edge faded as your bodies moved together, the tension giving way to something deeper, something all-consuming. Your breaths mingled, heavy moans and low groans filling the space between you. Jigen placed his forehead against yours.

The rain pattered softly against the window, a steady rhythm that filled the quiet gaps in between. The dim light of the candles casted flickering shadows across the room, your bodies moving in sync, lost in the heat of the moment. Jigen’s breath came in short, ragged exhales, low and uneven as he got closer, his usual composure unraveling with each desperate thrust.

Soft moans slipped past your lips, your voice mixing with the deep, gravelly grunts Jigen let out. The sound of your bodies moving together, the creak of the mattress beneath you, the faint rustle of sheets—it all blended with the rain outside.

His movements grew uneven and violent, his usual control slipping as he got closer, his breaths coming rough and unsteady against your skin. You could feel everything—every tense shift of his body, every desperate push, the primal need for release and the way he held onto you. The closer you reached your climax, the more you wanted.

Your own pleasure was building fast as well, warmth spreading through your limbs as you clung to him. Every motion he made sent a spark through you, coiling tighter and tighter until you could barely hold on. Jigen’s grip on your hand tightened, his forehead pressing briefly against yours, a low curse slipping past his lips.

You felt a snap, heat washing over you as your body arched into his. For a few long, breathless seconds, nothing else existed—just the feeling, the release, the overwhelming bliss that left you trembling in his arms. Jigen followed soon after, his movements turning sloppy, a deep groan escaping him as he let himself go. His weight pressed against you as his breathing slowed, both of you tangled in the aftershock.

Your breaths were heavy, the heat between you still lingering in the air. You laid beneath him, your chest rising and falling. Jigen hovered just above you, one hand still holding on to your hand, the other brushing against your thigh as if debating whether to pull away or stay. Their eyes met—intense. There was something unspoken between them, thick with tension, neither willing to be the first to break it.

Jigen reached up from your thigh, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face with a touch so uncharacteristically gentle that it made your chest tighten. It was stupid, really—how easily he could make you feel something without saying a damn word.

Then, just as quickly, the moment was gone.

With a quiet sigh, he rolled off you, shifting to the edge of the bed. His movements were slow, deliberate, as he reached in his pocket of the dress shirt he still had on. He pulled a cigarette and a lighter, lighting it as he took a slow drag. The glow of the ember briefly illuminated his face, highlighting the sharp angles of his features, the crease of thought between his brows.

You turned on your side, watching him through heavy-lidded eyes.

Jigen always insisted that this—whatever it was—meant nothing. That there could never be a thing between you. But the way he looked at you just now? The way he lingered?

It told a different story.

You wanted to ask. To press him on it.

But the weight of the night, the warmth still thrumming in your limbs, made it impossible to think straight. Before you realized it, your thoughts blurred together, your eyelids growing heavy.

Jigen took another slow drag of his cigarette, exhaling a thin stream of smoke as he glanced over at you. You were already asleep.

You laid tangled in the sheets, your breathing soft and steady and your body relaxed in sleep. The room was dim, the city lights outside casting faint patterns against the walls. Jigen sat at the edge of the bed, already picking up his clothes from the ground, watching you for a moment.

You looked peaceful.

The same woman who could challenge him with a single smirk, who never let him get away with his usual bullshit—right now, you were completely at ease. Vulnerable in a way he rarely saw.

He exhaled quietly and ran a hand down his face.

This was exactly why he should’ve kept things simple.

Jigen stood, careful not to make a sound as he grabbed his shirt and jacket. He slipped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him without a sound.

He moved through the space, grabbing his hat and jacket from where they had landed on. His gun rested on the counter, next to his half-finished glass of whiskey. He picked them up with practiced ease, ready to slip out like he’d never been here at all.

But something caught his eye.

A small framed picture sat on the counter, next to the sofa.

Jigen paused.

It was a picture of you.

You were standing beside a bride, dressed in an elegant light blue dress that hugged your frame just right. Your hair was styled different—softer, more refined—and you were smiling. Really smiling. Not the usual sharp, teasing smirk you threw his way, not the guarded expressions you wore like armor.

No. This was different.

Pure. Carefree. Happy.

Jigen found himself staring longer than he meant to.

He knew you—at least, he thought he did. He knew how and why you moved away, how you fought, how you could talk your way out of just about anything. He knew how you smirked when you were lying, how your eyes narrowed when you were pissed.

As he looked at the picture, he realized he barely knew anything about your life—before him, before the mess he got with you. And yet, here was a glimpse of it. A world where you looked like you belonged to something stable. Something good.

Something that wasn’t him.

His fingers hovered over the frame for a second. Then, almost without thinking, he took it. Slipped it right into his jacket pocket. Would you notice? Maybe. Would you call him out on it? Definitely.

But Jigen didn’t care.

He wasn’t sentimental—he sure as hell wasn't the type to take the damn photo like a lovesick idiot—but something about this picture… something about you looking so damn happy…

He wanted to keep it.

Just for himself. Just for when he wasn’t here.

Jigen adjusted his hat, exhaled slowly, and left without another sound, disappearing into the rain-soaked night.

No goodbyes. No second thoughts. Just the familiar routine of slipping away before morning.

[arielburrow]

So It Goes

part one here, part two here

“And you got the candles? You cant forget the candles Joe they are what make the whole cake!” you exclaim to your husband over the phone. “Babe,” he laughs, “relax, i promise you i got everything on the list and the cake looks perfect, i just picked it up a few minutes ago.” Joe reassures you for what seems like the fifth time today. You wanted today to go smoothly given you had been planning it for a long time, seemingly since the little one left your womb.

Little Blake Burrow was turning one today and the thought of your baby growing up along with the stress of the party was making you a little emotional. “Thanks Joe, i’m going to finish getting ready and then we’ll meet at your parents.” you hang up with your husband just as Blake half crawls half walks his way into the kitchen. “Hi baby,” you coo as you scoop him up in a million little kisses. His little shrieks seemed to get louder as he got older and grew into his little voice. Though he hasn’t actually started talking sentences yet, only a few words, he was a very vocal baby who knew how to get the point across without words.

“Are you so excited to see grandma and grandpa, and all you’re aunts and uncles!” you squeeze the little boy causing him to shriek in giggles. You run up stairs to get him dressed and put finishing touches on your makeup. You mentally ran through everything for a final time. Joes parents insisted on hosting the get together at their place which you did mind agreeing to. You went over yesterday to help put decorations up and all the food would be getting delivered, all that was left was to get the birthday boy to his party.

“Mama, hat!” You hear him command and you notice his line of vision to the top of your dresser where Joe had left that party hat Robin had him where for his first birthday. You thought it was the cutest thing that Robin kept it and wanted to make sure Blake wore it today, at least for a bit until he would end up chucking it on the floor somewhere. You picked up Blake and grabbed the hat on your way out the door.

Pulling up to the Burrow’s house was not something you were too familiar with yet. Joe had just recently surprised them with the brand new house a few months ago and they were over the moon about it. They still rented out their house in Athens, but their new place allowed them to be much closer to the games and family. You were a little worried when you didn’t see Joes car in the driveway, given he should have been here by now, but Blakes whines drew you out of your train of thought so you shot him a quick text before going inside.

“My babies!” Robin meets you at the door in a hug, followed by Jimmy. You make your way inside adoring the final look of everything. “Everything’s set y/n” Robin assures as she scoops Blake up out of your hands and you both make you way into the kitchen. “The food was just dropped off and people should be here soon,” jimmy adds. “Perfect, thank you guys so much, I hope Joe hurry’s up, I want him to get here before everyone else does,” you state as you watch a now crawling Blake head butt a balloon. Robin reassured you and took a seat next to you at the kitchen island. You took another look around smiling, the living room was covered in balloons and streamers with enough food tables to feed the entire Bengals roster, even though their were only about twenty people coming. The backyard was full of games set up, an obstacle course, and even a water slide which you insisted was unnecessary for a one year olds birthday but Joe bought anyway, claiming it was for the “older kids”.

“So we have all the cousins coming, your mom and aunt right? And then your friends and Joes friends, and oh my friends too! Oh maybe we don’t have enough food..” Robin rambles off but you cant help but smile to yourself at the little community you guys had made together. You would have considered yourself crazy three years ago for imagining you’d be celebrating your child first birthday. Better yet the child you had with your now husband Joe. But you wouldn’t change anything for the world, every time you look into Blake’s blue eyes you ponder where you would be today if your will had stood in the way of you meeting Joe at that coffee shop.

You are pulled out of your thoughts at the sound of the door. You hear Joe’s voice and watch Blake do the little wiggle he does when he’s excited. Implying someone better pick him up or he’s going to start squealing. “There he is! My boy!” joe quickly sets the cake down and picks up the baby in a tight hug. He walks over to you, pulling you into the hug and taking a look around. “Wow, this place is amazing you guys really pulled it together,” he says in astonishment. “It was all y/n!” Robin says making her way into the kitchen to meet her son.

Soon after, guests start arriving. You greet your mother and her friends in hugs. They immediately swoon over Blake given it has been a month or so since they last saw him. Joe joins you at the front door as his best friends arrive. “Thank you guys so much for coming!” you smile as you place gifts on the table. Blake begins to squirm in your arms and you realize who it is he’s antsy for. “My little man!” Jamarr yells entering the house with a dap up from Joe and a greeting towards all the parents. Blake squeals in excitement as he scoops him up and lifts him to the sky as if he was an airplane. You laugh at Blakes little “again’s!” and Jamarr’s airplane sound effects.

Blake hadn’t necessarily made any of his own friends yet, but there were a handful of littles that joined the party either from the neighborhood or they were Blakes cousins. Rachel arrived soon after and you pulled her into a tight squeeze. She had split with her husband a year ago and although it was for the best, you could tell it took a toll on her. Nonetheless she was still a bright spirit who was quick to steal Blake from Jamarr’s arms.

“Honey you did amazing on this party.” your mother smiles as she joins you in the kitchen to help put out appetizers. “thanks, i don’t know why i was so nervous, everyone’s having fun and the kids are getting a kick out of the water slide. Blake’s made Joe go down it with him about ten times.” you both laugh as you watch all the action through the window. Most of the women were inside chatting while the guys made their way outside with the kids. “I’m so happy for you y/n,” your moms voice becomes soft and you look to her with a smile. “Yeah, this is pretty great,” you laugh trying not to get sappy even though deep down your heart was fueled with emotion for the life you and Joe had built for yourselves. It felt like just yesterday he was down on one knee asking for your hand, and now you guys get to watch your baby grow up. You blink back a small tear.

A while later you join the party outside as most of the people had now done. Music was blasting and all of the kids had big smiles on their faces. You found Joe sitting with his dad and decided to join them. “There she is!” Jimmy smiles making room for you. “Hey guys, where the little one?” you question as Joe nods his head towards Rachel’s direction. Well, not only Rachel, but also Jamarr. The two were sitting together locked in on a conversation that left smiles on both of their faces. Little Blake letting a popsicle melt across his face and onto her lap. You give Joe a suspicious look but he just shrugs. “Did you have fun on the water slide,” you question causing Jimmy to laugh at his sons still soaking wet bathing suit bottoms. “Yes actually i did, i raced Cooper down it twice and won both times,” he says triumphantly. “Joe he’s five,” you playful roll your eyes at your husbands confidence. The three of you sat for a while over drinks and snacks. Tons of food was served and all of the kids were dancing on the grass.

Blake eventually made his way back onto your lap and you noticed a slight droop in his eyes. “Joe maybe we should do cake now, he’s getting sleepy we might have to wrap it up soon,” your husband nods and gets up to call everyone inside and get the cake ready. You join him inside as everyone either sits or stands around the table. You sit him at the end of the table and place his hat on his head once again. Blake looks up to you with a frown before smacking it off his head, causing everyone to laugh. His eyes widen as he picks up on the light gleaming from the top of the cake Joe was carrying in from the kitchen. He gurgles in excitement as the crowd sings happily for him, Joe placing the cake infront of him and pulling you into his side. After singing everyone cheers and Blake looks up to you, “please don’t cry,” you whisper only for Joe to hear.

Instead, the boy giggles at you causing immediate laughter from you and Joe. “Buddy you got to blow them out,” Joe insists but Blake only reaches out and takes a swipe of icing from the cake. You and joe smile at eachother before leaning down to take a few pictures and then blowing out the candles for him. You pick up your phone and press record to capture the adorable moment his hand sinks into his slice of cake and he misses his mouth completely. You can’t help but laugh at the absolute mess he’s creating. After cake, people begin say goodbyes and getting one last fist bump from the birthday boy. You were very proud of him for going this long without a nap, but you knew he needed one. Once majority of people had said goodbye, Joe walked eveyone out while you went upstairs to lie Blake down for a nap in the little crib Robin and Jimmy had set up in their room just for him.

Rachel and a few other friends stayed behind to help with the clean up and carrying everything to the car. You and Joe were in the kitchen with Rachel, while Robin and Jimmy were cleaning up outside. “So..” you press on, “I saw you and Jamarr were chatting a bunch.” you try to keep your tone light while also hinting you wanted details. “Yeah he’s a cool guy,” she shrugs but you notice a small blush on her cheeks. You give a glance to Joe who seems to be holding back a smirk. “Well…you know he’s single..and i know that you said you weren’t read for anything, but-”

“y/n,” she cuts you off laughing. “He asked me out before he left,” she looks up to you smiling. “What! Really?! Oh my gosh!” you were so happy for her knowing Jamarr was such a sweetheart but also praying he didn’t mess this up. “Joe can you believe this?” you question him as he finishes putting things away in the fridge. “yes actually i can, that night we went out for my birthday he texted me right after and asked if you were single,” he laughs at both of your shocked faces. “Huh,” rachel shrugs trying to play cool but you can tell she really has a thing for him. “Well i’m going to get going but i’ll see you both soon,” she hugs you and Joe before stepping outside to say goodbye to Joes parents. As soon as the sliding glass door shuts you feel Joe come up from behind you and press kisses all over your neck. You giggle at his touch and his strong arm that wraps around your waist, pulling you from the countertop. “Joe..” you try to get out between laughs, “cmon let’s go get Blake and head home,” you push him off of you, causing him to fake pout at the loss of touch.

After Rachel leaves, you wake up Blake from his nap, which he was not pleased about, and head down to say your goodbyes. The house had transformed back to its original homey feel once again. After lots of hugs and kisses, the three of you begin your depart back home.

You watch in the rear view mirror as your little boy drifts back to sleep in his car seat. Your mind drifts off once again feeling whatever the opposite of nostalgia is. This feeling was something so foreign to you, you couldn't even recognize it. Genuine happiness that felt untouchable and unbreakable. You were pulled out of your thoughts as Joe's hand made it’s way to yours, and eventually made its way to your thigh with a tight squeeze. You turn to look at him but his eyes remain locked on the road as his hand rubs up and down your thigh.

Arriving home, you carried Blake upstairs to finally get in a full nap. It was a bad time for him and would probably throw off his sleep schedule, meaning you’d be up all night with him, but you knew he needed uninterrupted sleep right now. You rocked him back to sleep for a while before finally making your way downstairs.

You noticed Joe had brought all the gifts and leftover food inside and was waiting for you on the couch. You sat down next to him and rested your head on his neck. “Oh, I almost forgot I have something for you,” he suddenly popped up and headed upstairs for something. Joe’s love language had always been gift giving but you made it clear no matter how much money he made, you didn’t want him wasting too much on you, especially after you had your son. Nonetheless, he still spoiled you and made sure you always had the nicest things which you were always so grateful for.

He came back downstairs with a box that he handed to you while joining you on the couch. Your mouth dropped as your recognized the name on the outside, “Joe-” you started but he cut you off. “I know todays about Blake but i don’t want you to think I ever forget about you and the hard work you put in everyday to make sure own son has everything he needs and is the happiest little boy. I mean, technically it’s officially been one year of you being a mom, so you deserve something special too,” he smiles before motioning for you to open it. You carefully unravel the box and reveal the beautiful fleurette pendant, it was white gold and definitely the most sparkly necklace you owned. You lifted it closer in adoration as Joe kissed your cheek. “You like it?” he questions looking down at it with you. “Yes honey I love it, this is so beautiful thank you.” you pull him in for a kiss. He carefully moves your hair aside to place the necklace on you. “I didn’t know if you would like it, but I heard you and your friends mention Van Cleef the other day, so I was looking online for a bit and set up an appointment this morning to pick it up for you.” he explains. “Ohh, that’s where you were this morning,” it all clicks in your head now. He smoothes your hair back down and turns you to face him. You smile and reach down to touch the necklace. “I love you Joe,” you say just above a whisper, “I love you too,” he says scooting closer to you.

“I also love this dress on you,” he leans in and begins kissing your neck. He’s always knew what to say to get you relaxed. That’s what you loved about rekindling your relationship years back, you both had matured and become more experienced. You knew exactly what you wanted and Joe knew just how to give it to you.

He pushed you back into the couch and hovered over you. His hand slipped under your dress while the other reached up to massage your breast. You moaned at his touch, earning a smirk from him. His hand moved farther and farther up until it was just below what he wanted most. “Are you wet for me baby,” he questions placing a kiss on your leg. “So wet Joey, please I need you.” Another thing about Joe is he had become much more dominant as he had grown older. He loved making love and always made sure you were comfortable, but that didn’t mean he stayed away from making it a memory, and you never wanted him to.

He lifted your dress up to around your hips, exposing your little thong that he immediately discarded of. He inserted one finger and watched your face intently. He quickly started moving his finger soon after inserting another one. You let out a quiet moan, not wanting to disturb the baby. You bit down on your lip as you felt him add his tongue to the mix, knowing it was your absolute weakness.

He fasted the pace he moved his fingers at and continued to eat you out as you ran your fingers through his hair and let out quiet little moans. “Joey, baby, that feels so good, don't stop," you whine. He recognizes the quiver in your voice and quickly removes his fingers and mouth earning a half moan half whine from you at the loss of build up. “Not yet baby, i’m not done with you,” he smirks as he pulls you up to straddle him. You quickly remove his swim shorts and reveal his hard cock clearly ready to be inside you. He lifts up your dress completely, throwing it to the side as you sink on to him. You both moan in sync as your eyes roll back from the feeling of him. “Just like that baby, you feel so good,” he whispers before pulling you towards him to kiss your breasts. You finally start to ride him, picking up the pace fast as a string of quiet moans leaves your mouth. One of his hands drops to your ass, foundling it quickly. Your head drops to his shoulder as he begins thrusting into you, hitting the perfect spot. “Joe im so close baby,” you whisper into his ear. “cum all over it baby, i need to fill you up,” he insists immediately pushing you over edge. At the same time, you feel him release inside of you. You remain on top of him for a moment, catching your breath before pulling off of him and crashing onto the couch next to him.

After a few moments you began to speak but are quickly cut off by a sharp cry coming from upstairs. You both look at each other, “I got it,” Joe insists pulling up his shorts and throwing you your dress. You watch as he walks to the stair case with his shorts on backwards, silently laughing to yourself.

Thank you all for following this story and encouraging me to write more than what i originally intended to. I hope you like how it turned out 🤞🧡

[creelkobblelaufeyson69]

Old face/old feelings

Warnings: smut and angst

Y/n had tried moving on from the Doctor; the feelings, and just the thoughts about him. They believed it would help ease the pain, but so many things they owned reminded them about their adventures through space and time with him. Their dreams filled with the adventures as well. They just wanted to forget all of it

The last thing he told them, they wanted to forget, but failed many times to do so. “I’ll come back for you Y/n. That’s a promise” he told them all those years ago while peeking out of the Tardis. They believed that lie, and now here they were laying on the guest bed of the Noble’s place since their house mysteriously collapsed

Y/n weirdly enough had a sneaky feeling something like that would happen, so the day before they managed to pack everything up safely. It had taken them as a bit of a surprise when it happened, but once going through all the shit you go through with The Doctor, you get desensitized to bizarre shit like that

Speaking of bizarre, someone was rushing upstairs to where they were. They got up, and now stood up to take on whatever was coming up. Y/n knew it wasn’t any of the Nobles since the family knew better to just randomly pop up in the guest room. Soon a creature with big eyes had appeared, and behind it was him

“Meep meep” Beep the Meep says as it approaches them. It goes over to hug their leg as if afraid of The Doctor. “Y/n?” The Doctor starts in confusion. “What the hell are you doing here?” He asked as they stood there in shock. “Meep Meep” they looked down at the Meep as it now looks up at them

“My house exploded…” they started as they now looked back at him. “Oh, I’m so sorry” he said as the Meep lets go of their leg, and went onto their bed now. Y/n stayed silent as they had waited so long for the two to see each other again, but they felt angry

“You’re a lair by the way” they started, which makes him shocked. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for you?! Shit, I wouldn’t have cared if you hadn’t looked the same, because you’re still the person I loved all those years ago” he listens intently as the rest of the Noble family comes up

He looks at the family as Y/n felt tears leaving their eyes now. “You have no clue how much I wanted to find a way to communicate with you, but I didn’t since I thought you’d be quick… but you clearly had better plans, huh Doctor?” Beep the Meep felt bad for the human now

“Would the human like to sit next to the meep?” Beep the meep asked them. They looked at the Meep, and nodded their head. They go over to sit next to the Meep as everyone was watching this. “Oh great, there’s a party to seem in this fucking mess…” they begin to sob as they held onto the Meep. “There, there” the Meep comforts them as The Doctor walks towards them

“Y/n I didn’t want to lose you. You meant too much to me to let that happen to you. I also thought about you endlessly as I traveled, but I’m here now, and I promise you I won’t leave you behind” They looked at him once he sat down next to them. “You broke the last promise Doctor, how am I supposed to know you won’t break this one?” They asked him

“You know that ring you wear…?” He asked them. They nodded their head as they stopped hugging onto the Meep to look at the ring. It was a Gallifrey ring he gave them on the last trip the two shared. “Did you perhaps know that your house was gonna explode the day before it had actually happened?” He asked them, and they quickly nodded their head as they kept staring at the ring

“That ring can help you easily avoid danger” they looked at The Meep. “It can also make an enemy be friendly if close by” he adds as they stood up now. He does the same as they find themselves backing away from the Meep. The Meep looks confused now. “Y/n, why are you going away from the Meep? I don’t bite” they found themselves quickly greeted by the wall behind them

“Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on?!” Donna asked as The Doctor stood next to them now. “I kinda never left your side” he says as he looks at them. They looked at him now as he takes out the sonic screwdriver. They admired the new look of the sonic. “Isn’t it stunning?” He asked them as he makes a cage for the Meep

“Yeah” they said as they hadn’t stopped looking at him. The Meep’s true colors were able to show now, and it was pissed off now. “Is someone coming to get the Meep?” He asked them, which makes them nod their head. “That’s excellent!” He kisses them on their lips now

“Come on Donna, let’s leave these two alone” Donna’s mother says as the two start walking downstairs again. Rose and her dad left as well. Once they pulled apart, they smiled. “What is it?” He asked with a matching smile. “She’s gonna be fine- Donna. She’ll remember everything, but she’ll live” they said as tears started to leave his eyes

“So you give out spoilers too?” He jokes, which makes them smile wider. “It’s happening downstairs. You’re just not present for it” they pointed out as two armed aliens show up. The Doctor was about to look, but they made him look back at them. “It’s okay. They know we mean no harm” their lips go onto his neck as they begin to leave hickeys

“Erm… Y/n, there’s people here” he points out as his face goes red. “Don’t worry sir, we’re quickly leaving now” one of the aliens said. Once the two were completely alone, they stopped leaving hickeys on his neck. “You have no clue how much I like you Doctor…” they start as they begin to strip

“I think I have an idea” he says as they discarded their graphic t shirt. He starts to discard his clothes now once realizing this was definitely happening. Once they were naked, they go over towards their bed, and find themselves lying near the edge of their bed. They begin to touch themselves as they waited for him to get completely naked

Once he was, he approaches the bed. “I’ve waited too long to do this…” he starts once he was close to the edge of the bed. He looks at their wet pussy, and just went ahead and lifted up their legs: spreading their legs open now, and soon his cock was in them

Their head arches back now as a moan escapes their mouth now. He had let out a moan as well as he starts to thrust now. “Oh, Doctor” they moaned out as their eyes go to the back of their head. His hands were grasped firmly on the edge of the bed. His head throws back now as moans continued to leave him

“Oi! Keep it quiet up there!” Donna shouts, which makes the two both smile. He stops, since he didn’t want to upset Donna who was clearly back to being herself. He had pulled out, and placed their legs back down. “Sorry about that darling, but we’re gonna have to continue in the Tardis” he says as he starts to get his clothes back on

“That’s fine” they said as they got up to get their clothes back on as well. Once the two were clothed again, the two find each other cuddling on the bed. “So where to first?” He asked them. “Anywhere” they answered as they find themselves fallen asleep. He notices, and smiles. He kisses their forehead, and then stares at the ceiling wondering why this face had come back

[brightdarkness-2013]

Chapter 19: Welllp...

Summary:Things aren't going well...

Notes:Warning here. This is bad.

Barricade was less like himself. Sure he’d growl and he’d threaten anyone who came by, but it was done in such an odd mix of exasperation and a tired fashion that it was a cause for concern. He tore at the bandages and everything, but it was with less drive. It was more out of stubbornness and habit than anything that he kept doing it. He seemed far too tired to try much harder. He spent a lot of time on the sandy bottom and barely moved. He even just let Prowl rewrap the bandages without a fight. To make things more worrisome than they already were Prowl had taken to laying with him rather than within his nest.

Barricade glared at me as per usual when I walked up to the tank. I chewed on my lip as I watched him back. His eyes didn’t have as much fire in them as per usual. I touched the tank and he just narrowed his eyes. No growling. No lunging. He did not look well. Thankfully he had another appointment today. I leaned on the tank with a sigh.

“Just what have ya gone and done to yourself this time? All ya do is cause trouble. Can’t ya just… I don’t know, not? I mean look at yourself. You’re not doing that well the way you’re going it. Prowl’s worried. Aid’s worried. Arcee and Blurr are worried. Everyone’s worried about ya here. I mean this is starting to bother me. Sure I’m more worried about Prowl if ya kick it, but I don’t want ya to just die either.”

He hadn’t moved through my little one way chat. He just watched me. Prowl had draped himself over Barricade long ago and had refused to move. He would occasionally pull out a loose scale. Barricade normally didn’t like it when he tried to groom him and would make little grumbling noises until he was done, but he was silent this time around. Just letting him check and recheck without so much as a twitch. That had been a big red flag. Then of course there was the fact that their neighbors had been looking over at them more and more often. Now it was near constant watch. Prowl didn’t pay them any mind. He had been ripping apart the fish and bringing the scrapes to Barricade for a while before he even stopped doing that.

“Ya know maybe if ya actually tried to heal you’d be fine right now. I don’t know what possessed ya to go and do this, but you’ve really got yourself in a bad situation now. I can see the signs here. You’re really not yourself and add that to the guys next door watching ya and being more passive toward ya and I’d say with confidence that ya ain’t doing so well. I really hope ya didn’t do any permanent damage here. That’ll be another reason for Ratch to curse ya. Ya know you’re his worst patient he’s ever had. He keeps cursing ya and swearing that you’re Trying to kill yourself. All he does now days is complain about ya. That just means he cares though, but then again once ya get better he’s gonna hit ya so hard you’ll forget what ya did. I mean your ass is grass. No joke.” I chuckled to myself as I let my gaze linger on the door. “Ya had better pull through though. I mean think about it. Ya can possibly have another go with Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Then of course ya could see the sea again. Just Think about it. Traveling the ocean with a complete pod again. Hunting and finding a new spot for a nest. There’s a lot of things ya will be missing out on if ya kick it now.”

He didn’t so much as twitch. That halfhearted glare had fallen like he was far too tired to keep it up. He just stared back at me with a dull and near lifeless expression. He really needed some help and hopefully he’d let them help him this time. Barricade didn’t even move to fight us. Prowl on the other hand had. Though it wasn’t aggressive and he didn’t do any damage physically. He whined and pleaded and followed us up to the top. He gave a heartbreaking cry when we took him. The other mers watched silently and it was a relief to finally shut the door.

44444444444444444 The Fours Are Gaining More Numbers! Fight Back! Take Back The Writing Government!4444444444444

Prowl paced and whined, looking at anyone who came in for answers that we didn’t have. Nothing that was good anyway. Barricade had opened and reopened his wounds so much that he had left himself open to illness and infection from what normally wouldn’t have done any damage. Pair that with the blood loss and how he refused to eat and was forced on a regular basis and he was in worse shape than any of us had thought. His wounds leaked a sour smelling pus and he whined when they were cleaned. His wing fin had a deep infection due to the damage. It was easier the prevent infection than to get rid of it, even I knew that.

He didn’t fight them and Ratchet was unnaturally quiet as Aid rambled on and on to himself under his breath. That was enough for us and we didn’t know what to tell Prowl. But Prowl had caught on and made it clear that he didn’t want to wait. His neighbors that had recently lost a pod member watched him intently as he leapt from the water onto the feeding stand and pulled himself down the steps and to the door. He had apparently been watching us and had figured out the doors because he pulled down on the handle as he leaned on the door as we rushed toward him. He dropped when he got it open a crack and pushed it open the rest of the way. He shoved at us with hisses as we dragged him back to the tank. He had done that on more than one occasion and now we had to have someone there at all times to watch him when the doors weren’t locked.

Barricade on the other hand was quiet and none of us were even mildly surprised when he passed. When we brought the corpse to Prowl he didn’t move for a while. When he moved to look over his pod member he froze halfway there. Then he did something that none of us expected. He jumped up onto the ledge with us and shoved himself into me with a broken cry. Clinging to me when I moved with another broken sound. Begging me not to leave him... So I held him.

Notes:I spent two days going over pros and cons. Even though he was an asshole it kind of hurt to kill him off... But if he stayed then Prowl wouldn't have been able to get close to Jazz again even if he did forgive him.

Then one day I went to my doctor for anxiety and work and then another day I spent eating pie and watching netflix. So... That's why I'm late. And it's not over yet so relax.

Next

First

Masterpost

patreon.com/BrightDarkness2013

[fipindustries]

does F.I.P stand for anything in particular or is it a secret

ah, my favourite question to answer, fuck it, this time im going to give the long answer:

a primer on FIP

you know.

i dont have the best memory of my past, i truly dont. i claim that certain things happen at certain ages but there is no way for me to know for sure.

long long ago i decided, a bit at random, that the age at which i came up with the concept of FIP industries might have been when i was eleven. that was a guess, an educated guess but a guess all the same.

i know the very first idea of something akin to fip industries came to me on a family trip after watching the now forgotten cartoon show called the project zeta. and this all happened roughly in 2003 - 2004. so that is why i use that date.

which would mean that its been 20 years since i came up with this project. i do remember distinctly that i promised my self at that age that i would not allow maturity or growing up to take this thing away from me. that i would not forget this story or these characters. indeed that i would make it grow and dedicate the surely considerable resources i would have as an adult to make it come true.

and i didnt.

ten years after that, when i was 21, i wrote a novel called F.I.P. industries. it's... fine, for a first draft of a first work of someone who had never written a novel before at 21 years of age. it develop the story, it crystalized it. it gave it a coherent shape and a strong foundation. what's more, it cemented the arcs of many of its key characters, characters that had started as broken, improvised toys made out of key chains and legos and pieces of toy cars. the lore also went through an EXTENSIVE overhaul, i incorporated elements from other stories, fused characters together into a single character, changed the race and gender of many other characters, changed dates, names and arcs around and streamlined the whole thing.

then in 2020 i decided to overhaul the entire lore a second time. dramatically changing the timeline and the importance of certain characters, cannibalizing a bunch of other stories, retooling a lot of things and, once again, pushing everything into a new direction.

and of course i should add that during those 20 years i kept adding characters, side stories, spin offs, lore, backstories and actually continued the story along. twenty years have passed both in the real world and in-universe.

and given that this is the story's 20th aniversary (i think), it is time for me to share this story with all of you, from beggining to end, explaining every character along the way. this is going to be a long and arduous excercise and i genuenly dont know if i am going to get through it all, but i will try all the same.

ill be making a series of posts under the tag #FIPindustries the story can be divided in three eras, it will be one masterpost per era, where i will go over the main chronology of the story and the main characters in each era.

Era 1, also known as the golden years covers the founding and original expansion of fip industries as a research lab covering multiple different disciplines and fields of studies, trying to find synergies between the different investigations. this was all financed and directed by its founder, Filander Ignatius Patrick. this era ends with the collapse of the company during a terrible incident that ended up killing, vanishing or transmutating most of its employees. what few survivors there were left scattered to the winds. key characters in this era are Montogmery J. Black, also known as the shadow, Craig Sterling, legally assigned as grim reaper, and Franchesca Turimov, cyborg, rabble rouser, bad news.

Era 2, also known as the dormant era, covers the fallout of fip industries collapse and the different stories of the multiple scavengers that managed to salvage the lost technology from the ruins of the company. this era is mainly dominated by Maximillian Sicamore, a sinister man with many secrets and even more plans, who used to be an employee at the company and one of the few survivors of the collapse. key characters in this era are Maximillian Sicamore, criminal mastermind, proud father, The four crazy kids, Marten, Ralph, Sarah and jessica, freelance heroes, The harpsichord crew, sky pirates.

Era 3, is the return of FIP industries to its former glory under the helm of maximillian's son, Erik Sicamore, who takes over his father's empire, re hires many of the old scientists that survived (and many of those who didnt as well), and includes a fresh batch of new blood, amongst which you can find many of fip industries old enemies. Under the control of Erik the company is redirected to more "charitable" goals, such as finding a source of infinite renewable energy for the world (which is all a front for his real plans, killing god). key characters for this era are Erik Sicamore, leader of FIP industries, broken man, trans, Peter, tamed serial killer, Leenard and Sasha, scientists, lost in time, lost in space

with this quick introduction you should be ready to parse whatever the more indepth dives i might make some day on each era in the oncoming posts.

welcome to F.I.P. Industries

[stayteezdreams]

HELLO HAPPY 1K YOU ABSOLUTELY DESERVE IT<3

Only just saw the event now but can i request Ateez Box 2, Card 7, Prompt 14? :3 if you're still doing it of course

Hi!~ Thank you! <33

You were the first to send one in actually! Thank you!

Your Fate Ship Is......

Jongho!

Prompt 14: "Don't go on the date." "Why?" "You know why." "Say It."

Finally

You should be excited as you got ready in your room. But all you could think about was the sulking man in your living room.

He came over for movie night, forgetting you cancelled two days prior to go on a blind date set up by your friend. You invited him to stay, but he simply went quiet, and watched you get ready with a look you couldn't quite place.

For a moment, just a moment, you thought maybe it was jealousy. But that would be to good to be true.

Jongho wouldn't be jealous, not like this. You were just trying to find some sign, any sign, that he might feel the same feelings you had been hiding away for so long. But he never showed any real sign of it. But still, you hoped.

Walking out into the room, Jongho's eyes glanced up from his phone and you saw his mouth part slightly. You nervously ran your hands over your clothes.

"Do I look okay?"

Jongho remained silent for a moment as he stared at you, before cleared his throat and nodding, "Yeah, you look great."

You smiled shyly as you walked over to the table to grab your bag.

Jongho watched you closely, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. He was running out of time, he knew it.

What if he let you go on this date and you hated the guy?

You were walking towards the door now.

"Feel free to eat anything in the fridge!" You smiled back to him.

Or, what if you liked him?

You were slipping on your shoes now.

What if you fell in love with him?

You were reaching for the door.

"Wait!"

You jumped at Jongho's sudden loud voice. Turning around, you saw him standing, staring at you with a wide and desperate gaze, his phone clenched tightly in his hands.

"What?" You voice came out soft and stunned.

He swallowed, letting out a shaky breath. "Don't go on the date."

Your heart flipped in your chest as your voice vanished. You shook your head almost unnoticeably. "Why?"

Jongho almost let out a desperate sigh as he tilted his head. "You know why. You have to know."

Was it-? Did he-?

"Say it." Your voice was almost a whisper, as you held on desperately to whatever hope rose up from your heart. Hope you pushed away a long time ago.

Jongho kept his eyes locked with yours as he walked across the room. Stopping right in front of you, his eyes piercing into yours. He slowly reached up and places his hands on either side of your face. His eyes darted between yours as his chest ached.

"Because you're supposed to be with me." He gently caressed your cheek with his thumb. "I don't know why I waited so long to say it, but I am now." You're meant to be with me, only me. So don't go on this date. Stay here with me, please."

He finished with a whisper as he stared almost pleadingly into your eyes.

"Jongho." You began, uncertain of how to put your emotions into words. Slowly a smile crept onto your face. "Took you long enough."

Jongho tilted his head slightly in confusion before a grin broke out onto his face. He looked down at his feet with a sigh before meeting your eyes again. Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose.

"I'm always a bit late aren't I?"

You nodded with a smile before stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him, hugging his chest. He let out a relieved sigh as he wrapped his own arms around you and held you close.

A he pressed a kiss to your head, you felt warmth radiate through you. You were finally where you were always meant to be.

xx

Idk if I should add my taglist tags or not....

[lamardeuse]

We'll find our promised land

by lamardeuse

911 || Buck/Tommy, Buck/Eddie || Rated M || c. 2700 words

Written for @911actions thanks to the kind donation of captnvalkyrie. Hope you enjoy!

Prompt 576: Fanfiction about Buck and Eddie at their first Pride as a couple with the rest of the 118.

2006

The first time Buck goes to a Pride parade, it's a mistake.

His parents are taking him to the Whitaker Center in Harrisburg to enrol him in summer science camp because he nearly flunked science last year. It's not that he doesn't like science – he loves it, actually – but he's been forgetting a lot of stuff lately, and even though he tried to keep on top of his assignments a few slipped through. His mom read his final report card with her face all pinched and he braced himself for the inevitable lecture.

I swear I was trying my best, but I – I kept forgetting.

Well, your best simply isn't good enough, Evan. Now that Maddie is gone, you can't rely on her to be your memory any more. You have to buckle down and smarten up.

He can't remember a time when he didn't feel like he was stupid every now and then, but lately it's been a near-constant thought, mainly because there's no one around to counteract the voice in his head, a voice that sounds more and more like his mother.

He's been to this place before and liked it well enough, even picked up the brochure for their summer camps and had a look at it the last time he was here. Now, though, it feels like a punishment.

Before they reach Market Street, his father slows to a stop and mutters under his breath.

“Why is the road blocked?” his mother asks.

“No idea,” Dad says. “There shouldn't be any construction, I was just here three days ago.”

“Well, a lot can change in three days,” Mom says primly.

His father grunts unhappily, then turns down another street where he finds a parking garage that's nearly full. By the time they trudge down the stairs to the bottom – because of course the elevator's broken – the mood is tense. Well, the mood's always tense, but – tenser. Whatever.

Evan hears the thumpa thumpa of a disco beat long before they reach Market Street. There are random cheers from what sounds like a huge crowd, which is confirmed when they round the corner and come up against a sea of people.

“Oh, for Heaven's sake,” his mother says.

“What's the parade for?” Evan asks. The Fourth of July is another week away, and he doesn't see an American flag waving anywhere. No one answers him.

And then a float goes by with about a dozen guys wearing really tiny shorts and body glitter and not much else, and Evan thinks, oh.

“We can sign him up tomorrow,” his mother says. “We can come back tomorrow.”

His father's jaw twitches. “We came all this way. I just walked down six flights of stairs and I'm going to have to climb up six flights to get the car. Let's just –”

“Do you really think this is a place for children?” his mother says, a little too loudly if the glares of a couple of people around him is any indication.

“I'm not a child,” Evan protests. “I'm gonna be fourteen in –”

“Evan, be quiet,” his mother hisses.

“And lots of gay and lesbian people have kids,” he blurts out.

“Don't remind me,” his mother mutters.

“What's that supposed to mean?” Evan demands.

“Don't take that tone with your mother,” his father snaps.

“How are we going to get through this crowd?” his mother says. “The museum is across the street.”

“I don't even want to go to this camp!” Evan yells. “I'm not stupid,” he adds, more weakly because he doesn't sound convincing even to himself.

“Then don't act like it,” his father says. They stand there for a minute in silence, watching the parade. There's a car going by now, one of those huge old convertibles. There's a really tall lady in a hot pink satin evening gown and matching gloves up to her elbows sitting in the back seat and waving at the crowd. She looks right at Evan and smiles. Evan can't help but smile back. She looks so happy.

“Six flights it is,” his father mutters, turning on his heel and heading back the way they came.

read the rest at the AO3

[yourpeskyfriend]

tff rewatch thoughts, ep 10 (you forgot | but i still remember)

spoilerssss

prologue. we're at beiyu. wen yi fan is called to go home early for errands. sang yan follows to give her back her favorite book. at the door, sang yan overhears wen yi fan being scolded (they won't give her some of her cousin's special chicken soup... because she's only ever caused trouble, she's a burden, she's not special enough) :(

at beiyu nostalgic noodles again, they're sitting apart on two separate tables, being watched closely by the store owner... apparently so they could focus on studying instead of flirting.

they still manage to do so anyway hihi. sang yan asks, did you get the book i returned? coz he's calling her attention to a note he wrote, which he placed between the pages of her favorite poem, "when you are old, i wont forget the time we spent together." im crying again. 😭 in one of the earlier episodes, we see that present-day wen yi fan has actually kept this note with her all these years.

today. at work, wen yi fan's aunt visits her. she makes a scene, and wen yi fan is distressed again. like really, really affected and distressed.

she sleepwalks again tonight. sits on the couch and repeatedly fiddles on her shirt sleeve. sang yan is worried for her, but still has no idea what’s truly going on. he even calls out her name twice, but thinks that she's just ignoring him.

in the morning, sang yan has made sure that breakfast is ready for his confrontation, but she's in a hurry, so she just drinks coffee and storms out. (btw, she drinks his coffee. ugh. these little details just get meeeee).

wen yi fan opens up to qiao qiao about how much she was made to feel like a burden living at her aunt's place all those years ago. now, she's internalized those words so deeply, believing them to be absolutely true.

she adds, "when i see those 100 yuan skirts, or those cheap little cakes... i cant bring myself to buy them... it's just that those things really feel like a waste when used on me." (i want to hugggg herrrr. but im glad that at least she's talking about her feelings to qiao qiao.. you can rely on other people, too, wen yi fan!)

at home. sang yan is now the one ignoring her (he can be real petty if he wants to be).

BUT ALSO! i made/cooked/bought extra (something) counter: 4; this time it's chicken soup.

i wonder if he was intentionally playing a movie with a plot about a "crazy lady" so he could bring up how "crazy" wen yi fan's been acting the past few nights. hmmm.

it kinda worked that way, though, because with the example of the unhinged lady on tv, there's now some exposition about dual personalities... and... sleepwalking.

she knows all of this because she used to sleepwalk, sang yan. whew. im glad she got that out quick (and that she had the courage to be honest to him this time).

his expressions zip in and out of being worried and wanting to tease her (a word from the tff fandom i picked up is "confrontease," which i think is right on the money for the way sang yan deals with wen yi fan).

he tells her that he's seen her sleepwalk twice now. and the second time was traumatic for him because.. "you suddenly ran over, hugged me, and even... kissed me on the cheek."

wen yi fan is suddenly blushing (it's from the hot chicken soup okkk hihi).

sang yan obviously didn't think his LIES through, because when reporter wen yi fan was suddenly asking some hard-hitting journalistic questions (where did i kiss you?? with our height difference, doesn't that seem improbable?), he's now the one that's flushed 🥵

pressing on, she asks him to reenact the "kiss". goodness. this scene. the tension. when she tiptoes, and he lowers his head.. and they were finally eye-to-eye, lips and noses almost touching.... the slo-mo treatment, the music, the way everything else faded around them, so it's just them (and yearssss worth of loving and longing and pining for each other). SWOOOOON.

i think we fast forward a little bit, because it's now april 4, qing ming fest (which is tomb sweeping day). wen yi fan wakes up very early to visit her dad's grave. she promises her dad she'll take care of herself (come through on this promise, wen yi fan!)

late that night, we see wen yi fan alone at the dinner table, and she's been crying again. and it's not just because of the heaviness of the day. it's all her life's sadness being let out in one big wooshhh.

sang yan's bought her chicken soup. and for the first time, he tells her honestly "the soup is especially for you" (i didn't accidentally buy extra this time. this soup is for you. because i know you've been sad, and because you've been sad, you've been sleepwalking. so please, let me in. let me help).

he closes the balcony doors, too, to keep her from the cold.

huhu. and when wen yi fan says thank you to sang yan, he couldn't even look at her directly (i think it's because he couldn't bear seeing her in such obvious pain).

wen yi fan is sleepwalking again tonight, and sang yan is there for her, ready this time... ready to.. protect her against sharp corners and falling lamp shades (im trying to be funny here. but sang yan in this scene. huhu. her light. her protector.)

and this time. she really does kiss him. and, again, he doesn't quite know how to react (he probably wasn't envisioning their first kiss to be like this!!).

so he resorts to teasing her again, although now he knows that she can't hear him. "i can't stand being taken advantage of. this time you owe me."

AND! he calls her wen shuang jiang again for the first time since their reunion.

AND AND! i think this is the first time BJT's song from the soundtrack is played ("invisible person"…which is so apt for this scene. he's here with/for her, yet she doesn't see him.)

epilogue. sang yan visits wen yi fan's dad's grave. he asks him "all these years, has she been happy?"

[noonbeam17]

For the ask game

4/5, 8, 25?

HIII I ONLY JUST NOW CHECKED TUMBLR </3

4/5 - about a year ago my parents watched severance and my mom was like You Need To Watch Severance Its So Fucking Good and i put it off for forever but then i was finally like "okay ill watch severance with yall ^_^" and ITS CRAAAAAAZY. i briefly mentioned severance in the irl chat [mainly that lumon industries is deadass just hailsham never let me go but without being weird about sex] but like SEASON 2 IS COMING OUT JANUARY 27 AND ITS GONNA BE CRAAAAAAAAAAZY

8 - game of the yearrrrr game of the year. i cant immediately think of something off the top of my head ........ OH WAIT !! EVERHOOD !!!!!!! its so awesome its so cool. everhood 2 is coming out sometime like. either next year or 2026 i forget. HYPE NONETHELESS !!!!! its so good ive mentioned this one in the server as well. i think you would like it tbh ^_^

25 - hoohoohooooooo ^_^ this is a newer thing .... infodumping helps me figure things out this is AWESOME !!!! alright alright lets go ^_^ putting this under the cut because i have a feeling its gonna be long

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALRIGHT !!!!! these guys came about a month ago. so i was thinking about quarantine queer culture and how like. how do you describe it actually. we were like hyperaware of everything but also we knew Nothing. it was a bit of a shitshow but there were nice memories from it. there was such a Monotony to it but hashtag at least you werent alone in it. so i drew little concepts for the first four but i didnt have anything else. i had the designs and the fact that it was in 2020-2021, but no story.

and then the very next day i remembered. this one concept i made over a year ago. it was basically the world is trapped in a timeloop but only 5 people are aware of it. the reason theyre trapped in a timeloop is because the universe was getting old and ending and so it was like im gonna put everyone in a timeloop so that they dont have to experience it ^_^ and those 5 were the anomalies that kept their memories. and because theyre still kind of aware of everything theyre absorbing the end of the world and hashtag body horror yk. and they gotta stop it somehow. HOWEVER i wasnt attached to the characters and i just kinda Forgor. so then i was like heehee. haha. i could get insane with it. so now the angst goes to them!

i dont have them fleshed out that much yet but heres what i have so far !!!!!!

i only have names for the third fourth and fifth ones [natalie/nat, zoe, moss [probably gonna add another name for them] and i have pronouns for all of them. in order: he/they/it, any pronouns [they/them pref], she/they/fae, she/they, he/they/plant neos, and they/it ^_^

they all have aesthetics, which in order are space[? i guess], alt [especially of the time but like a bit on a budget], artsy[? also i guess], okay wait actually theres no specific aesthetic for zoe because shes closeted and trying to look Normal for her family HGDVFKJN, cottagecore, and dark academia ^_^

originally i had the body horror be based around their aesthetics but now i think its gonna be based around problems with the community at the time. the only thing i have is nat is gonna be like i need the Exact Label that describes me and if i cant figure out what my gender is i will Die Badly [nat is probably the most like me from quarantine HGDLAFKJVN]

the sixth one is probably gonna be plural. i was debating it because like systems were very present in quarantine but also im scared all the time and am like what if i accidentally make them "hi im arson and these are my ten morbillion dsmp alters and also the Evil One". but im convincing myself that hashtag it will be okay i just need to do research and ask around and stuff.

the first one can do tarot readings. just a little bit of trivia that i stole from an old acquaintance of mine back in 2020

AND THATS ALL I HAVE ON EM SO FAR YAYYYYYYYYY ^_^

[catsafarithewriter]

A/N: PART 6 of the Bedlam au, introducing another familiar (?) face ;)

X

Haru doesn't even really see the button eyes anymore, not really.

Oh, she doesn't exactly forget but – well, it's the same way she doesn't really note Baron's feline face nor Toto's feathers. They are a part of the people here, a fond feature; it no longer makes them other, it just makes them them. And the Other Baron is expressive enough in a way her local Baron never quite was – at least where it mattered – that makes it delightfully easy to read him.

When she visits again, she knows he has good news before he can say a word; his movements are quick, excited, and he steers her into the Bureau with hands that tap along her shoulders.

(The Baron she had once known had never been quite so easy around her; contact had been cautious, concious, especially as her time with the Bureau had progressed.)

Nothing can prepare her, though, for the person sat on the sofa.

The Other Hiromi squeals as she leaps to her feet, soles barely touching the ground as she cannonballs into Haru. Laughing, the Other Baron releases Haru, a hand gracing her shoulder just long enough to ensure she isn't about to topple at the force of the embrace.

"You're alive! You're here! This is crazy, my god, we have so much to catch up on!" the Other Hiromi cries. "Baron told me you'd returned, but it seemed too good to be true!" Her eyes, like everyone else's, are buttoned. The thread running through them have a hazel sheen.

"Hiromi? You're here? But I thought–"

"In this world, you made the decision to include those close to you to your secret life," the Other Baron explains, correctly reading Haru's confusion. "Or not-so-secret, I guess," he adds with a smile. "Not to those who matter, anyway."

Haru holds her Other friend close, and for the first time in a very long time, there are no secrets between her and Hiromi. And all it took was stumbling into a whole Other world.

"So how are things?" Other Hiromi demands. The Other Baron is across the room from them, deliberately engrossed in a book. Other Hiromi lowers her voice conspiringly. "Enjoying being back with the Bureau?"

Haru glances at the Other Baron. He acts as though he doesn't notice. "How much has he told you about me?"

"Only that you come from another world – hence why your eyes are..." and she gestures to her face, "you know. And that the Baron from your world kept his cards much closer to his heart." She raises an eyebrow. "As did you, apparently."

Guilt settles on Haru's shoulders. "Things... worked out differently in my world. I didn't want to drag you into all this – to make you worry–"

"So you hid it all instead. Very adult of you."

"I wasn't sure you'd believe me!" Haru insists. "I mean, I'm not sure I'd believe it if I wasn't living it, and I actually talked to cats when I was a kid! And then, even if you did believe me, you'd probably just worry about me whenever I was off on a case, and I didn't want you to come wading in after me–"

"And if something did happen to you?" Other Hiromi asks. "Was I just meant to live the rest of my life wondering what happened to my best friend?" She curls her hand around Haru's, anchoring them together. "Don't you see how much better things are here, where I know the truth? Where you don't have to hide where you are or what you're doing?"

Haru has to admit, there is a lightness in her lungs, a happiness bubbling away, at the ease in which the two sides of her life have impossibly come together in this strange world. She sighs, and drops her head on the Other Hiromi's shoulder. "I must admit, if I had known how simple it would be, I'd have told you a long time ago."

"Yeah, well it seems like you made all the best decisions in this world," the Other Hiromi teases. "Guess you need buttons for eyes to see clearly, huh?"

Haru laughs, and in that moment there is a strange shift. A breeze ripples through the Other Sanctuary and rocks the hanging basket outside the window. Haru lazily watches it, distantly aware she hasn't felt a breeze in this Other Sanctuary before. She rolls her head back, ready to ask the Other Baron if all is okay, only to see he has frozen. Without eyes, it is impossible to tell whether his gaze is unfocused, but there is an uncanny stillness to him. It puts Haru in mind of the figurine he was carved from.

Fingers tighten around hers, and she snaps her attention back to Other Hiromi.

"Go home," her friend whispers. "Please."

And then the wind drops and the white-knuckle grip around Haru's wrist releases her, and it's enough to make her wonder if she imagined it.

"She's right," the Other Baron says. That uncanny stillness has fled from his form, and he is once again the Other Baron she has come to know so well. And it is this knowing which betrays an edge of unease in him. "You should head home. It looks as though there is something abroad in the Sanctuary today."

"I can help," Haru protests.

"Any other time, I would accept, but this might be of a..." and his mouth twists, "personal nature."

His artisan, Haru thinks, and she understands. She has met Baron's artisan of her own world, no longer the impassioned apprentice who had crafted a pair of cat figurines with all his heart, but an embittered man, fighting against the tide of time by whatever means necessary. He has a possessiveness over his Creations, one which extends to meddling, regardless of whether he was invited.

She can understand why – if he is indeed the visitor – the Other Baron wants to keep her presence a secret. She nods, and gathers her stuff together, stealing one last hug from Other Hiromi before she goes.

There's always next time.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I would like to apologize for spreading misinformation in that earlier post - the beginning of the post should actually read “It is of interest to no one in the world besides me and @lastweeksshirttonight​." Sorry about that, Lee.

Anyway, I’ve realized it’s been a long time since I posted the actual source of that video, and it’s easy to forget that there’s a lot more in there than just the little clip I cut out to add to another video and created the cow one. I hadn’t watched it in a while. But on this night, when I’ve been watching some stuff from the 2023 Edinburgh Fringe, seems like a time to revisit the stuff I have from the 2003 one, and not just the cow video this time.

Honestly, the cow video isn’t even my favourite video I’ve seen from the 2003 Edinburgh Fringe Festival. It’s my second favourite, I like it a lot, and I talk about it often because its inherent mystery haunts my nightmares. But my favourite one is actually that Kitson vs. DO’D rap battle that I put in the above post as well. I can’t even quite explain why, I just think it’s lovely. I first found both those videos about a year ago, and I still think of the line “They say the stammer is all the rage/How come you never use that stammer when you’re off stage?” at least once a week. I think I want that on a t-shirt. (I do have a theory that part of Kitson’s lines in that rap battle ended up being more accurate than anyone meant at the time, but that’s a whole other thing.)

Anyway, here’s the montage from which I took part of that cow video - the whole thing’s really worth watching:

I haven’t seen it in a while. Here are some things I think as I re-watch:

- More messing around on the cow, this time Adam’s on top of it. Clearly it was a running theme throughout the night. They’d built that finale up.

- Kitson references “all my trophies”, and I was about to say it was only 2003 and there can’t have been that many, but that’s not true, he won the Perrier Award in 2002. Over Adam Hills, who was also nominated. Adam Hills, who had also been nominated in 2003, and had lost to Demetri Martin, who was also on that show that night, and it must have been a pretty fresh occurrence as this was the end of the festival. And he’d been nominated and lost in 2001. I’ve heard an interview with Adam Hills from around 2010 in which he talks about his “three times nominated, never won” past with the Perrier Award, and he talks a lot about how he’s fine with it and it was better that way actually and he has no bitterness toward it. He talks about that for long enough to make it very clear that he did, at the very least, have his share of bitterness about it at the time.

When I was in university, two of the most successful athletes on my team ended up in the same category for a year. It was a rough year, as they’d been good friends for years and genuinely respected each other as people and as athletes, and they maintained their friendship, but also, they had to contend with this person being in their way as they tried to achieve the thing they were dedicating their life to achieving. They had a big match at one tournament that was used as a major preview to the championships – everyone in the room stopped to watch it, they knew people would use it to make championship predictions.

One guy won and one guy lost, and afterward they did the post-match handshake and the winner pulled the loser into a hug. It has to happen that way – unspoken rule of sports is that if two opponents have a personal relationship and want to make it clear that they’re putting that and sportsmanship over the competition, they can do something extra friendly at the end of the match, but it’s the winner’s job to initiate it. The winner, in this case, dutifully did that, and there was a sort of uneasy peace between them. A peace that kept up until later in that day, when they happened to be sitting together on a bench on the sidelines, when a third athlete started talking about some speech his coach had given that says we learn more from losing than from winning. “Then I haven’t learned anything in a long time,” said the guy who’d won that match earlier. The loser looked at him, there was a beat while all of us, including the guy who’d said it, processed the meaning of what he’d said. You could see that even he hadn’t meant it that way, he’d just been making a joke. But it’s like in that moment, the peace they’d been so carefully maintaining for months shattered in the six inches of space on the bench between them, and the tension flooded in. The guy who’d lost the match got up and walked out of the room without a word. It’s one of the most awkward moments I’ve ever personally witnessed.

There wasn’t much point to that story, except to say, I think Adam Hills deserves some credit for, within days of losing the Perrier Award for the third time in a row, hearing a guy who beat him for it the year before brag about “all my trophies”, and reacting better than that guy I used to know. He could have just walked off stage without a word and we’d never have seen Adam Hills on TV again.

- We then have a whole bit where Kitson jokes about his own repertoire of sentimental story shows, which I find quite funny in context. This was Edinburgh 2003, where he’d first debuted A Made Up Story, which was his first ever sentimental story show. This is one of the very few Kitson shows I’ve never heard in any form (one of only three or four, I think, depending on whether you count some 2003 and 2004 recordings as examples of those years’ tour shows, also the number goes up if you count a couple of the one-off stories he wrote for Regent’s Park with Gavin Osborn), but I have read about it, and I have an idea of what it was. Full of magic and love and poignant emotion and all of that. But it was the first time he’d done anything like that, and it’s my understanding that it got mixed reviews at best. Mixed reviews from people who were literally reviewing it, and from people who weren’t (there’s a bit from a few months after Edinburgh 2003 when Graham Linehan went on Stewart Lee’s radio show to say everyone knows Kitson’s new show sucks and his friends just don’t have the guts to tell him, and obviously, we should all trust what Graham Linehan says about everything).

Anyway, I enjoy that as context for 2003 Daniel Kitson making fun of his own tendency to write narratives about optimism. Because it wasn’t a tendency then, it was a thing he’d done once, and it hard barely worked. He’s made fun of it many times since, but apparently he started referring to it as his modus operandi pretty much right off the bat.

- “Genius has no price.” “But talent does.” Is also a line that comes into my head on a rotation of at least once a month.

- I really hate to say this, but ever since I first saw this video, any time I hear the words “spread it” in any context, my first thought is “Adam Hills fucks kids.” I’m genuinely sorry to Adam Hills for this fact.

- “Can you take sincerity, Danny? I can break down your cynicism with love.” So Daniel Kitson was not just parodying his own story shows immediately after he started doing them, other comedians were doing that too. (“Can you take sincerity?”, but said with the tone and cadence of a threat, in the same voice that an MMA fighter would use in trash talk from fight hype, is not a bad description of Kitson’s work. Credit to Adam Hills for that. Also credit to Adam Hills because I’m not sure there are a lot of people who could get away with calling him “Danny”, and just get giggles in response.)

- Conchords on a cow! It’s 2003, and there are Conchords on a cow.

And they're playing Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros, which is one of my favourite Flight of the Conchords songs. Good stuff.

- It took me quite a while to work out who the breakdancing guy in the red jacket is, but I’m now almost sure it’s Demetri Martin. We know Demetri Martin was there that night, since he’s in the cow part. The mystery guy says “I got five jokes that work over here, in this country”, suggesting he’s not from the UK. I mean, technically he could be from England, which is a different country from Scotland, but the way he talks about it makes it sound like’s traveled more than that. Also, I think he’s got an American accent.

- I think the bald guy who comes out next and dances is an Umbilical Brother. From this video:

- And then we have the rap battle and then the cow, both of which I cut out and combined with other YouTube videos to make the things I linked in the above post.

I mean, I'm fine. I've just set off on an obsessive quest to understand everything that happened at one venue in one city in Scotland in 2003 because my life is going really well at the moment.

This gets long. It continues my obsession with old Edinburgh Fringe Festival videos. It is of interest to no one in the world besides me.

Okay, the situation is: I’ve just gotten back from a wonderful week-long vacation by the ocean, I am now home where there is no ocean, I’m starting a new job tomorrow, I’m very anxious about it (I did just start another new job a couple of months ago, but I was so desperate for a job at the time that I’d applied for everything and took the first thing I was offered, then something I wanted more came back and offered me something so I took that instead, now I start that other thing tomorrow, I would feel bad for leaving my old job so soon except that they were doing a lot of illegal shit that I cannot get into in one Tumblr post but just trust me that they broke far too many labour laws to deserve my loyalty, this is getting off topic). I just spent some time very carefully going through the Cowgate video to find a screenshot that could be my new cover image, I ended up going with this:

That was taken from this video, of an event that I refer to as Cowgate, due to it being a cow-related scandal that also took place near the Edinburgh neighbourhood of Cowgate:

I had to go through that video to find the screenshot, and this reminded me of how many questions I have about it, so I have decided to distract myself from new job anxiety by writing a post that lists just a few of my top 200 questions about that fucking video. Let’s go through it, shall we? It’s been a while since I’ve done a post that self-indulgently goes into great detail about that video that no one in the world want to think about nearly as much as I do. Not that I’ve never done that before. But it’s been a while, and that'll be a good distraction.

Essential, all-encompassing question: Where did they get the cow?

There are several possible classes of answer here, all of which inspire different follow-ups. As far as I can see, there are two overall possibilities: the cow was there when they arrived and they did not plan it, or they specifically procured a cow for this purpose. I think it’s more likely to be the former, because at the beginning of this video (a video that I put together myself, by the way, cutting out things from two different videos that I got on YouTube, because somehow this was captured twice and uploaded to YouTube by two totally separate accounts, and I combined them), you see Daniel Kitson sitting on the cow at what seems to be the beginning of the night, and he seems to be figuring out what it is along with the audience.

If it’s the former: How did it get there? Who put it there? Why did they put it there? Where did they get it? How did they feel about it being destroyed?

Did the Chocolate Milk Gang know it would be there before they arrived? If so, did they plan its destruction in advance? If the answer to one or both those questions is no, when and how did the plan formulate? How did they work out that they were allowed to do it? Presumably you can’t just destroy shit that’s on stage without consulting someone. Did they consult someone while the show was happening? Does that explain why the weapons they used all look like things they might have found backstage at the last minute? Why someone walks in during the scene and hands John Oliver a metal pipe like one out of the game Clue/Cluedo? That would make more sense if they had not prepared this beforehand.

Here's one theory of mine on that’s subject: I think the plan was formulated sometime after the first clip in this video, when the audience was shouting challenges at Kitson for things he should do with the cow (ride it, touch it, jump off it), and he told them their challenges were too easy. I think that after the camera stopped filming, the audience started issuing more difficult challenges, and one of those challenges was to rip it in half.

Another question if that’s the case: How were they initially planning to end that night? What got bumped for last-minute cow destruction?

But all my theories could be wrong. They all have the issue that I’m not sure you can get permission to destroy a large installation once a show has already started. So maybe it was the latter of those initial options, and they did plan it beforehand. Which brings up lots of other questions, such as: Why? Who thought of it? Why? What were the plans leading up to it? I still want to know where they got the cow, and how they got permission to bring it to the Gilded Balloon and destroy it on stage.

All of that can be summarized in two main questions: “Where did the cow come from?” and “How did the plan to destroy the cow come about?” But there’s another main, overarching question, which is: “What the fuck was the plan? What were they actually doing?”

I mean, clearly they were trying to destroy the cow. But why? What were the parametres of the challenge? Adam Hills says they have “three chances”, and they’ll either succeed or “bottle it”. Does that mean they tried two other times earlier in the night to destroy the cow, and only succeeded on this third attempt? That’s pretty good, if so, because this is clearly the end of the night (you see Kitson come out afterward to introduce the band, signifying that comedy is over). So it’s some good narrative planning if they managed to space out two failed attempts and then got it right at the end.

That might explain why Kitson got involved. At first he’s hanging back, just doing hype with Adam Hills. At some point, it looks to me like he figures out they’ll be here all night if he leaves them to it. He starts giving specific advice – Adam Hills is yelling Eminem songs at them, and Daniel Kitson starts saying helpful things like “combine the chisel at the hammer”. It’s shortly after that that he, as far as I can tell, decides they won’t manage this without him, even though he’s tried to tell them how to do it, so he jumps in there and helps. That would make even more sense if they'd tried this twice before and it hadn't worked, they'd agreed on some sort of challenge (with the audience, maybe) in which they had to do it in three tries, also it was the end of the night and the last night of the Festival and they wanted to get it fucking done.

I might be wrong, it's difficult to tell, but I think Daniel Kitson was right to think they needed him, because he's the one who actually ended up breaking it. I've tried to figure this out before, mainly because I've decided I desperately want a Taskmaster one-off live task someday in which they wheel the Taskmaster cow on stage in the studio in front of these five people and tell them that the first person to break it in half wins. So even though it was a collective effort, I want to know who actually would win if this were a Taskmaster task. And I think it may have been Kitson. You can see him kick it pretty hard, then hit it once with his hammer, and then it immediately comes apart and he throws his hands in the air in celebration:

It might have been too much of a joint effort to give the points to any one person, though. John using leverage definitely helped.

The other option for what “three chances” means is it was only meant to be three people trying to destroy the cow: David O’Doherty, Demetri Martin, and John Oliver. That would mean they didn’t really succeed in their challenge, since Daniel Kitson ended up helping. But I don’t know if it really makes sense – do three people working together and concurrently count as three separate chances?

Look, let’s go through the lyrics to really understand everything going on here. From Mr. Adam Hills:

If you had three chances... Would you take 'em? Or would you quite literally bottle it?

I've covered the "three chances" thing already; I don't quite know what he means by that. But I'm also not sure what he means by "bottle it". I know that's slang for fucking things up, but why would they literally bottle it? The use of the words "quite literally" imply that an actual bottle is somehow involved in this. I have no idea how.

His palms are sweaty, his hair is sweaty, He's ready to shoot spaghetti

This is a sort of parody ("parody" might be a word that gives it more credit than it deserves) of Lose Yourself by Eminem, obviously, since that's the beat that's playing in the background. I point this out only because it comes back later, when he starts singing a different Eminem song, having apparently forgotten which one he was supposed to be doing.

He's got a cow on stage It's got red horns, it's all the rage

I find those lyrics worth mentioning because here's another video from earlier in that same night (one that I also put together by combing clips from two separate YouTube videos):

Adam Hills is freestyle rapping there, but he got the idea of rhyming "stage" with "all the rage" from David O'Doherty, who had used the same rhyme in his own on-the-spot rapping earlier in that same Late 'n' Live show.

It's cow tipping, it's not quite shitty Get that cow down in this city Take it up the Royal Mile, attack it with a hammer

The Royal Mile is a stretch of road in Edinburgh that I think is meant to be a central hub of people and bars and whatever wild things happen during that festival. In the YouTube comments of one of those videos (the original one, that I cut up to make the one linked in this post), someone said they did, in fact, carry the broken cow up the Royal Mile after they'd crowd surfed it out of the building. So apparently enough planning had gone into it beforehand so that they knew, at this point, that that's what they wanted to do. Maybe that was part of the challenge? They had to break the cow in half and then carry it up the Royal Mile?

At this point I will skip a few lines, because even I cannot bring myself to type out every word that Adam Hills said around the line "fuck the udder", but I do find it very funny to watch Adam Hills getting really into his role as hype man, while Daniel Kitson watches beside him, tries to look like he's also playing the hype man because that's what he's supposed to do, but he knows he needs to also be actually paying attention to how the whole thing's going and making sure to keep it on track. He's trying to look as though he's fully thrown himself into it and isn't putting any effort into controlling the gig, whereas Adam, I think, has genuinely thrown himself too far into it to keep anything on track. Does that say something about their different styles of comedy and/or compering? Possibly. Adam Hills definitely grew into a host who could keep a live show on track (and has done it on many Fridays for many years), but it never seems as natural for him as it does for Kitson to have one eye on appearing to be fully caught up in stuff, and one eye on keeping tight control over the situation.

Anyway, the result is Adam yelling increasingly nonsensical shit around the words "fuck the udder", and then Kitson puts one hand over his mouth and one in the air in an exaggerated parody of a hype man, but what he actually says is:

Davey, Davey, what you need to do is combine the chisel and the hammer

Not hype. Genuine advice designed to get this done so they can win the challenge and get out of here. I find it quite funny how David O'Doherty was diligently focused on the cow for the whole time, until Kitson yelled that at him, when he suddenly stopped and looked up like "Oh... right, yes, I'll get right on that."

I also enjoy the way John Oliver looked up at him too while he was yelling this helpful advice, like, yep, that's the guy I'm on the same page with, the one who will do the rapping but only with full awareness that it's all bullshit and we just need to accomplish the task and go get milkshakes:

There’s Martin, Demetri Martin The Perrier win has left me smartin’

That is a reference to something that would have just happened, as this is the last night of the Fringe Festival and I assume they do awards at the end. Adam Hills had, in fact, been nominated for the Perrier Award that year, but Demetri Martin had beaten him. He had also been nominated the previous year, and lost to Daniel Kitson. And he'd been nominated the year before that, and lost to Garth Marenghi (Matthew Holness and Richard Ayoade). After 2003, he was no longer eligible for the award, putting him in the James Acaster class of people who were nominated several times but never won (not as many times as Acaster, but still).

John Oliver, he’s the man If that pipe won’t do it nothing can

You could make a lot of money if you put that on t-shirts and sold them. People won't even need to know the context.

David O-ha-doch-her-ty He comes from Ireland, the land of the green Daniel Kitson, he’s got a hammer He’s also got one motherfucking stammer

I mean, the way he added several extra syllables to DO'D's name so it'll scan for a song is still far from the least accurate pronunciation of that name that I've heard. What I like about this part is how absolutely no one reacts. They are all so engrossed in their cow destroying task, no one even looks up at Adam. DO'D doesn't want to engage with whether Ireland should be reduced to "the land of the green". Kitson does not retort about his stutter. Martin won't be drawn into competitiveness about the Perrier Award. They all have a very important job to do and will not be distracted.

It's time break this cow down It’s time to break this cow down It’s not time to chow down It’s time to break this cow down

Is anyone else beginning to suspect that Adam Hills may not have been 100% sober during the recording of this video? Though it is worth noting that the Chocolate Milk Gang got their name because they drank milkshakes instead of alcohol after late-night Edinburgh shows. Stewart Lee called it "a cult of abstinence built around Daniel Kitson" - which probably says more about Stewart Lee than anything else, if he thinks not getting drunk every night is a cult, but still. I think that means that the Chocolate Milk Gang members in this video (Kitson, Oliver, O'Doherty, Martin) all were sober they whole time they were taking apart the cow.

Late 'n' Live, Late 'n' Live, it's the very last night It's time to wrap this show up tight Send out the front, send out... Break the cow, break it in half Lead it out the front to the path

Another reference to bringing it out the door. So that must have been part of the challenge from the beginning, not something the audience spontaneously did. Break it in half, crowd surf it out, take it up the Royal Mile. But why?

Karen Koren, she's outside She's got petrol dripping down her eyes There was a fire at the Gilded Balloon The police found no one else was to blame If this season doesn't go well This fucking venue's going up in flames

Okay, it took me a while to work out the meaning of this part, but I know it now. Karen Koren was (and still is) the owner of the Gilded Balloon venue, which hosted (and still hosts) Late 'n' Live, a show that runs late into the night during multiple nights (most nights or maybe even all of them, I get the impression, at least back then, but I'm not entirely sure of that) of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Late 'n' Live has one person hosting all night, bringing on different comedians who do different stuff throughout the night, the lineup changes depending on availability and other stuff. Then when they're done (around 3 AM, I think, at least back then), they bring out a band to play and it becomes a dance floor. Daniel Kitson hosted it for several years in the late 90s/early 00s, and that's what was happening here, in 2003. It was, as Adam Hills said earlier, the "very last night" of the 2003 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and this was that night's Late 'n' Live show, hosted by Kitson with all these other comedians around throughout the night. That's all useful context.

In late 2002, there was a fire in Cowgate, which is the neighbourhood in Edinburgh where the original Gilded Ballon was. The Gilded Balloon burned down, and was rebuilt nearby. So this event, less than a year later, is taking place in the rebuilt version.

So here's what Adam Hills was saying (jokingly, it's worth clarifying) with that verse: Karen Koren, owner of this building, is currently outside with petrol. If this year's shows at the Gilded Balloon don't go well enough to make as much money as she wants, she'll burn the building down (I guess for the insurance money or something, to make up for insufficient revenue). He's implying that that's how the previous year's fire happened, the police incorrectly found no one to blame, and she'll do it again if they don't make her happy.

The cow's in half, the cow's in half Let's hear it for the cow in half! My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I Get out of bed at all The morning sun goes up my window, and I can't see at all Even if I could it'll all be grey But your picture on the wall Reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

All those lines after "Let's hear it for the cow in half" are from the Eminem song Stan, which is a different song from Lose Yourself, the one he was doing at the beginning. It is funny that Adam Hills forgot what Eminem song he was singing and started doing the wrong one. But it's not shocking. Because here's a clip from 4 at the Fringe, a BBC Radio 4 show that was recorded at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival - this episode was recorded at the Fringe in 2003, with Adam Hills compering, and here is doing some of his material between a couple of the acts:

At the Fringe Festival in 2003, Adam Hills had a bit in which he sang some of the Eminem song Stan. I assume all the bits he did during his compering were taken from his larger set that year, which means he'd have been doing that nearly every night for a month, every time he performed. So it was in his head. When he was, I'm going to guess, drunk, and he was on stage and hearing Eminem, he just automatically started singing Stan because he'd been doing it all month.

Crowd surf the cow, people.

Once the cow is broken in half and being crowd surfed out of there, Daniel Kitson high fives Demetri Martin and David O'Doherty, turns around to high five John Oliver, then hugs Adam Hills, like a sports team that's just won a big game. Great work everyone, real strong teamwork out there, couldn't have done it without you all, okay, hit the showers.

It is, and this is only the slightest of exaggerations, the cutest shit I've ever seen.

This video is going to haunt me for the rest of my fucking life. It's keeping me awake at night. If I could ask any of those comedians one question, my brain would pass by all the interesting intellectual things I want to know about some of my favourite creators of valuable works of artistic merit in the world, would give up the chance to learn anything about any of that, just to ask, "Where did you get the fucking cow?"

[banditywrites]

Congrats on the 1k! Oooh, a sneak peak at this mysterious batfam WIP? PLS

THIS ONE FIRST! THANK YOU!

Oh man. I had this all typed and ready to post and tumblr just said they weren’t cool enough for me and closed it?? Anyway, I had part of this fic written so I just had to add to the beginning of the chapter/fic. I’m not sure where this piece falls actually because this fic is very much a WIP. Lifted from a 5 + 1 fic. Something like, 5 times Tim’s anxiety takes the wheel and one time he asked for help first. Taking place in that make believe time when Tim becomes part of the batfam early and Jason is alive and working on being a fantastic big brother. Please excuse mistakes, it is very much a work in progress.

Working Title: Breathe Deeply in the Silence

Words: ~1,300 (you ended up with extra, yay!)

Tim stared unblinking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror.

He had been going about his morning routine, getting ready to head down for a full Saturday breakfast, when his comb snagged in a stubborn tangle at the back of his head. He had been working through it, running his fingers through his hair when it occurred to him.

He had never let his hair get this long before.

He supposed he had been distracted over the summer. Becoming the newest resident at Wayne Manor and ungratefully spitting in his parents’ faces the last few months had caused some things to slip his mind.

Tim bit his lip as he tucked strands behind his ear.

He would have never let his parents see his hair so unruly. If they had ever returned from a trip to find his appearance in such disarray… he wouldn’t have heard the end of it. There would have been a lecture and… anger.

What message are you sending to the world? You are always a representative of this family and we expect you not to embarrass us. Look at me-

Tim blinked.

Apparently, they didn’t even need to be around for him to actually hear the lecture. Tim tucked his hair behind his ears again, smoothing down any errant strands.

Bruce wasn’t like that. Hadn’t said anything about his hair since he’d known him.

But that was before. Before Tim was living in the house. No longer a guest, but a foster placement well on his way to becoming adopted.

The rules had to be different now. Guests and residents of the home have different rules. Tim knew that had to be true at least.

A few weeks ago, Dick had been home for the weekend and Bruce had commented on his hair. He mentioned how long it was getting and Dick had laughed, but he didn’t say anything else about it. Dick was basically an adult though and not living in the house. So, Bruce couldn’t outright say anything against it, could he? He would have to pass his true thoughts and feelings along in a more passive way.

So the rule of the house was to keep his hair short. It had to be. Bruce’s hair was short. Jason’s wasn’t that long. He had been stupid not to worry about it sooner. Bruce had not become angry at him for anything yet and this could be what brought on scalding remarks and expressed disappointment.

Tim tore skin from his bottom lip between his teeth.

He couldn’t do this right now. He couldn’t handle the disappointment from Bruce, he had already disappointed too many people lately. He needed to fix it.

Heart strangely pounding, Tim exited his bathroom and flew to his desk, fumbling with the scissors kept in the drawer there, he clutched them close and ran back to the bathroom. Sometimes they checked on him. He needed to fix it before they came knocking at his door.

Tim’s hands shook as he forced his fingers to open and close the scissors a few times before bringing them up to his bangs.

Snip. Snip.

Dark hair fell to the floor.

--0-0-0-0—

“Tim!” Jason shouted as he barreled into the other boy’s room. Bruce and Alfred kept reminding him to knock, but he honestly kept forgetting and Tim never seemed to care either way. Jason had expected to see him at his desk or watching videos on his phone. He hadn’t expected to see the bundled up lump on the bed, not moving or even reacting to his presence. “Are you still asleep? Breakfast is going to be ready soon.”

There was no sign that Tim heard Jason. In fact, the lump seemed to curl up smaller. Undeterred, Jason threw himself down on the bed beside his newest brother. Dick wasn’t the only annoying older brother in the family.  

“Hey, come on, we’ll play Mario Kart before breakfast.”

Still, the lump did not move. Jason’s mind backtracked through his actions. Tim usually jumped at the chance to hang out. Though lately, he had been a bit off. More distant. Bruce had told him to give Tim space if he needed it, but the kid never refused to hang out. So.

“Are you sick?” He guessed. The lump did move this time, but it was curling away from him. And that’s when Jason heard it. A definite sniffle.

“What is it? What happened?” Jason mind went through the possibilities. It wasn’t a sick sniffle, it was a definite sad noise. Did he have a nightmare? Did something happen with his parents? They never tried to call him before…

He’d had enough. Jason pulled the blanket away, and Tim only fought him a little to keep it over his head.

Tim was too distracted and caught up in his own mind to keep Jason from revealing his mistake, revealing what he had done in the midst of some kind of irrational, desperate fit. Tim hadn’t been aware of it all while it was happening. He had blinked in the mirror a few times and then his hair was just gone in some places. A bit of red streaked across his knuckles is what had gotten him to finally come back to himself and by then he had destroyed his hair.  

“Oh,” Jason said. That was it. He went silent and Tim wouldn’t look, but he knew the older boy had to be utterly shocked. Because why the hell would Tim take scissors to his hair and cut it all away? Tim felt his eyes burning and he blinked, willing his expression to stay something close to neutral. Something that didn’t make him look deranged and emotional. After too long a moment of silence, he opened his mouth to demand that Jason say something. Anything. To his horror, a sob escaped his throat. And in an infantile display, he pulled the blanket up over his head once more.

“Oh,” Jason tried again. “Hey, it’s not- it’s not that bad. I can-well, no, not me- Bru- Alfred, can fix it.”

Another sob forced its way up his throat and he slammed his hand over his mouth, digging his fingers into his cheek, willing himself to be silent. He sounded like he was being strangled and it was only that troubling noise that caused Jason to pull the blanket back, revealing his hair once more, sheared off way too close in some places and too long in the back where Tim couldn’t reach properly. 

“Breathe, okay?” Jason had settled his arm across him, adding extra pressure. “Just breathe.”

Tim shuddered out more shaking breaths that ended in muffled sobs. Slowly, Jason reached up and tapped his fingers against the back of Tim’s hand, encouraging him to stop trying to smother himself. Tim’s palm lifted, but strayed to over his eyes instead, hiding his face away. Jason went still and breathed deeply, hoping Tim would match him. The sobs soon tapered off and Jason watched his brother’s breathing even out.

Jason wouldn’t ask why. Tim was smart, polite to a fault, quiet, reserved and sometimes every fiber of Tim’s being was screaming for something. Something to happen. Something to be done. For someone to help. But it didn’t seem like Tim was even aware of it.

It’s what had drawn Jason to Tim in the first place. He had seen him at school. With circles under his eyes and a mask of his own, hiding behind a polite smile and carefully chosen words. But Jason saw through it. He saw the kid that needed help. Even if he would never ask for it.

Jason had hoped that once he was officially living in the manor and Bruce was legally fostering him, that things might change.

But Tim still wore a mask. And underneath it all, Tim was drowning.  

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tommy jack tubbo and george

requested yes/no

part 5 of the great adventures series

summary: training for the military

warning: cursing

AN: really sorry about this tumblr won’t let me change/add paragraphs so could look very weird

the journey there was quick for you, you spent the trip asleep in the back of the car whilst the others were discussing what you were all about to do “How difficult do you think it’s going to be” “dude it’s a military assault course” you woke up halfway there to the noise of the radio playing “afternoon y/n”“afternoon sorry I fell asleep I’m not used to being woken up early in the morning, I blame you guys and ranboo”“y/n have you ever wanted to join the military” “I can't say I have no” “well you’re going to love what we’re doing” “what are we doing” “you’ll see!”

you stood picking up more rocks and handing them to tubbo whilst Tommy and George began to film the introduction to the vlog “were in the jungle” confused you turned to tubbo “psst tubbo what the fuck are we doing, why are we in a woods” before tubbo had time to answer Tommy already began to answer your question telling you that you’re all training for the military, not taking him seriously you started laughing as you all were walking it was only when you were handed a jumpsuit to cover your clothes you realised it wasn’t a joke, you would be lying if you said you were ready for this, after all, you spent your free time playing Minecraft you wasn’t exactly great at sports

you managed to put the jumpsuit on pretty quickly unlike Tommy who was quite clearly struggling to get it on over his trainers “come on sergeant simons were doing a military assault course and you’re struggling to put on the clothes”after struggling to put clothes on the five of you stood together getting photos whilst you all looked decent “me and my boys in the jungle” “This isn’t going to go well” “we’re going to destroy it” “NO”

you hadn’t even reached the course yet and you were already tripping up over rocks and sticks that were on the muddy trail “we’re walking to our deaths..y/n is already falling over” “Hey I didn’t sign up to do exercise” once you finally reached the start of the course you were met with a canon, a dog and a man in a yellow jumper you stood as a team listening to what you were about to do and how you were actually a team of six, you hoped he meant the dog was a team member but no turns out the canon was the sixth member

“We have to take the canon with us” “...and take it apart into six pieces at each obstacle and rebuild it ” you handed your phone to the Russ, not trusting yourself to keep it on you especially since you were already tripping up before reaching the assault course “thank you” “good luck” “huh” you didn’t have time to process what was said as Mr military began counting down from three, the five of you ran to the first obstacle tubbo dragging the canon Tommy climbed over the net first with tubbo following after “What happens if I fall” it was as though you and tubbo had read each other’s mind as you both responded with “you’ll die” “death” you climbed over next with a wheel “reckon I can slide down the net” “that will hurt y/n don’t do- and you’re already doing it” you slid down the net despite George telling you not to do so, it didn’t take too long for the others to get over, you all began reassembling the canon “can we talk about our feelings” “I feel like shit I jumped out of a plane not long ago now I feel like I’m doing PE all over again” “Y/N JUST HELP BUILD THE CANON” “I'M TRYING ODDLY ENOUGH I'M NOT BUILT FOR THE MILITARY”once the canon was built Tommy and tubbo ran off with it “who’s going to tell them we need to test it” once Mr military shouted they ran back “why do we have to do this” “it’s the fucking rules Tommy and life is full of them” “like taxes” “tax fraud” a few seconds later the five of you yelled “bang” neither of you saying it at the same time “it didn’t work” “yes it did now come on”

you all ran towards the next obstacle, a giant wall. you all quickly dismantled the canon, Tommy went over first and began bickering with Mr military about him not being his dad whilst you tubbo and jack struggled to pass over the heaviest part of the canon “lift and lift” “really George? I thought we could just throw it over and hope he catches it” “Please don’t do that” “I am very sorry George but I'm struggling here” you continued your struggling tubbo tried to help Tommy through his words “you’re strong bossman I believe in you” “by the way, you really picked the shortest people to do this” part of the canon landed with a thud “welp hope he’s not dead” you climbed over next again carrying the wheel “he’s not dead guys don’t worry” you laughed as George took his time getting over the wall “I'm poving” “GET OVER THE WALL” you all stood questioning what time you were on completely forgetting that you were supposed to reassemble the canon “This is going to be embarrassing” “you guys could be rebuilding the canon” you could have built and tested the canon quickly however Tommy George and tubbo began telling people to subscribe whilst you built the canon with jack “we’re so good at this” “heh maybe not” you all test-fired the canon and made your way to the next obstacle

you were sent to go over the rope first, this was extremely difficult for you, the rope kept swaying as you walked causing you to lose your balance on multiple occasions “step on the V” “I’m going to fall” you made it over after a couple of minutes, like tubbo you also felt a bit ill, you assumed it was because it was quite hot and a lot was going on “how you feeling y/n” “Honestly, I’m jealous of ranboo, he’s at home living his best life and I’m in the middle of the woods overheating and climbing but no it’s pretty funny watching the others” you laughed as you overheard tubbo talking about how they’re only three obstacles in and how he’s going to die “YOU GOT THIS TUBBO!” Tommy crossed next, like you, he took his time he was then followed by tubbo who was trying to speed run walking over the rope you waited for jack and George cheering them on whilst Tommy was asking around for water and complaining about wearing a gamer hoodie. at this point, everyone seemed unmotivated “3 2 1.. bang”

“oh lovely..tires” tubbo went through first with the heaviest part of the canon “ill help you tubbo” you following behind helping him carry it due to it being stupidly heavily “so how are you tubbo” “AAAAAAAAAAA” “aye me too bud” you and tubbo decided that from now you two were going to work as a pair so it would be easier for you both, over the past few weeks tubbo became one of your closest friends the pair of you even started trending on Twitter as you did an irl stream where you both went on a walk at the beach and met several fans. whilst you and tubbo were making your way through Tommy jack and George we’re trying to figure out who should take what. “there’s piss in this one” “what the fuck?!” the pair of you finally got out from the tires “good job you two” “thank you” you rested your head on tubbos shoulder trying to get your breath back “I don’t think I’m made for the military” a few moments later Tommy made it to the tire full of water and put his finger in it “PEE” “Tommy why-” you stood looking around at the scenery, the sound of Tommy yelling about crawling away from George and that he’s ‘touched the piss’ was enough the drag you away from your own thoughts, you watched the others struggling to get through the tires and was amazed at the fact tubbo went back in to help them. you tried to ignore Tommy and George being dramatic as you tried to figure out how many more obstacles you had to go but you got distracted by George “ill just eat you if you die” “Mr military I’d like some help right about now” you walked over to Tommy and helped him get out of the tires “thanks y/n” “welcome” “how you doing bossman you know I pulled through your part...what are you doing that’s George's water” Tommy decided to throw the bottle to you so you could have a drink as he remembered you’d not had a drink since you landed from jumping out of the plane “Thanks, Tommy” “YOU BOTH DRANK GEORGES WATER” “he can drink the piss” “what Tommy said” you laughed as you walked over to where jack was in the tires “ HI JACK” “Jesus christ you scared me, hi y/n” you stood waiting for everyone to finish “I know exactly what the slowest time was” “we’re going for a new record it’s fine” “of being the slowest?” “yeah” “you know what Mr military ill clart you” “you’ll what me” “I’m gonna just go over here” you walked over to where parts of the canon were and got ready to assemble it again whilst George began throwing water over jack and tubbo to bless them then did the same to Tommy, you hid behind a tree thinking he wouldn’t notice you, however, he did and within a minute you too had water poured on you “Thanks, I was thirsty” “oh we know” “The fuck is that supposed to mean” “HELP BUILD THE CANON PLEASE” like last time you all built the canon tested it and ran to the next obstacle

“can we just you know drag the already built canon under there with us” “absolutely not” “I tried” you all disassembled it again and like last time you and tubbo went first crawling under “I don’t want to alarm you all but it is soaking wet in here” “delightful” a few moments later you were both working well “tubbo I’m scared of the dark and it’s pitch black” “you’ve got this bossman we’re almost done” you calmed down quickly until Tommy decided to jump above the pair of you

“SORRY” “TOMMY I SWEAR TO GOD” “YOU DICK” you laughed slightly and tubbo checked up on you “you okay?” “I'm fine if you’re fine” “come on let’s finish this thing” the pair of you continued and finished relatively quickly tubbo got out first “NEVER AGAIN” “Sorry about that buddy” “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU” you helped push part of the canon out so tubbo could easily drag it out he then reached out so you could hold his hand and help pull you out “I've never been so happy to see the light” the pair of you sat on the floor waiting for the others to finish, you both made a bet on who was going to laugh first somehow you won as tubbo laughed at George and jack struggling to crawl through “YOU LAUGHED” “OH SHITTT” Russ came over to you both whilst recording so he could ask about how everything’s going “I’m covered in mud and the jumpsuit is wet, it isn’t a good day for the y/n community it was dark as hell in there “Tommy is a dick and tried to kill me and y/n” “I DIDN'T TRY TO KILL YOU BOTH” “I think he heard us” “WE ALL DID WERE NOT DEAF” “NO, BUT ACCORDING TO INSTAGRAM YOU'RE DEAD” you stared directly into the camera “sometimes it’s like I still hear jack talking to me” George and jack started complaining about how much further the is to go and how it was dirty and Tommy's response about being sorry it doesn’t fit their tory lifestyle made you burst out laughing “YOU LAUGHED” “tubbo my beloved you laughed ages ago you’ve already lost” “But we’re equal now” “no” the pair of you stood bickering to the point you didn’t realise the others had finished the obstacle and were shouting for you to test the canon “Y/N TUBBO WE NEED TO TEST THE CANON” the pair of you ran over “3 2 1 BANG”

“just going to warn you all you see that black cloud over there” “oh yay a storm is coming” you grabbed a wheel and followed behind jack across the wooden bridge “y/n he’s been splintered” “oh no poor George” “these are my gaming fingers” “no gaming for you I guess” “Stop talking about gaming dickheads” you spent a lot of time talking to George and jack whilst crossing over trying not to fall over you all even made a few plans to stream a laugh and the stream ends on jacks channel soon

you were all building the canon again whilst being informed you weren’t even halfway through and already 40 minutes in “high score” “well it’s definitely high” “Y/N??” “coming tubbo hang on my shoelace came undone” after tying your shoelace you grabbed a wheel and caught up to tubbo “if you go over tubbo ill pass it over to you and we can keep doing that” this method worked well for you both tubbo would climb over you would pass the wheel and middle part of the canon then climb over and repeat the process you heard Tommy in the background complaining about the fact he’s wearing jeans and jacks response “Yeah but I’m wearing jeans” “tubbo and y/n are almost done and you’re complaining about jeans” “jean boy pops off” “I'M WEARING JEANS AS WELL QUIT COMPLAINING” “Can we just go home and play smash bros” “Tommy this was your idea I didn’t even get on an option” “Sorry about that y/n but you get to spend time with me and gogy” “lucky me” you weren’t going to lie this was hard work and you were exhausted you felt like you could just fall asleep right where you were stood however tubbo wasn’t going to let that happen “I’m never going on an adventure with Tommy again” “me either” this of course was bullshit and you were both going on another adventure soon you stood watching your friends struggle to get over the obstacles you decided to offer your support and went to help jack and George using a similar method to that you used with tubbo “thanks y/n” “anytime” “y/n you could have helped me, tubbo pulled me over I could have been injured” “very sorry to hear that sergeant simons sucks to suck I guess” you all reassembled the canon tested it and ran to the next obstacle “I hate it here” “there’s a storm on the way” “Thanks, y/n for the input” “welcome George” you all noticed the net luckily you didn’t have to disassemble the canon this very well could be because you were running far behind and a storm was on its way. you watched as the others went through and joked about tubbo losing his shoe and Tommy getting stuck, this obstacle wasn’t made for you either as you kept getting caught on the net “I'VE BEEN CAUGHT AGAIN” jack lifted the net for you again so you could easily crawl through “thank you jack” you all then made it to the next obstacle Tommy crawled on the metal bars with you following after him whilst George used the monkey bars once you all made it across you had to walk across many metal planks used to form a bridge Tommy walked close behind you knowing you were extremely clumsy and didn't want you to fall “irl nettles” “The fuck are you on about Tommy I don’t think you’re following my advice about going outside” you all dissembled the canon as you got to the tires the only difference this time was you needed to climb over them “it’s rather windy” “there’s dirt in my eye” like before you and tubbo used the same method “look at them go” “I LIKE A DA BEE” “I'M SCARED OF BEES” “oh okay” “Why do they keep taking the plank” “I don’t know tubbo just takes it and y/n follows” you both finished rather quickly and neither of you got injured or fell “really good job you two” “thank you Mr military” you stood leaning on tubbo watching George pick up random rocks and put them into his pocket similar to what you had been doing the entire way around the course “I don’t think George or y/n have been outside before they keep picking things up like souvenirs” “Y/N GEORGE HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE RAIN BEFORE” both of you just stared at Tommy making him laugh you helped the others get across the tires and even helped prevent Tommy from falling a couple of times. unfortunately, you ended up twisting your ankle but tried to ignore it not wanting to ruin the vlog for anyone, not that you would have, however it was clear you were in pain as you had started limping. one at a time you all crossed the rope “This is me climbing I am climbing” you cheered everybody on and then it was your turn

unlike the others the rope kept shaking as you walked across mainly because you were scared of falling and in pain all whilst trying to rush, this was clearly your least favourite obstacle of the day “take your time y/n don’t fall” “thank you jack I'm trying my best I promise” once at the end of the rope, Tommy took the wheel off you and helped you get down and pulled you into a quick side hug “you’re doing great let’s go we’re almost done” you knew your friends wouldn’t make you continue if you really didn’t want to however you were nearly finished and was determined to finish. you all reassembled the canon and made your way to the next obstacle

“there’s no way we’re getting through that without twanging a rope” “good luck” you and tubbo made your way through the ropes trying not to hit them, this proved to be a pretty impossible task and you ended up twanging the ropes several times, this mixed with everyone else’s failure to cross without hitting the rope meant you all had to do 20 push-ups, after reassembling the canon twice as you all didn’t do it correctly the first time and testing it you all had to do the push-ups “I’m sure y/n and George only did 3” “sorry bossman”

you all were finally making your way to the last obstacle determined to finish “Big Russ can we go to McDonald's after this” “sure” the five of you cheered and ran the last obstacle quickly disassembling the canon, you led the way over the obstacle tubbo Tommy jack and George following behind you, despite tubbo losing his shoe and George going backwards the five of you quickly completed the obstacle and reassembled and tested the canon running over to the finishing line

you all finally completed it and waited for your result “45 minutes easily” “1 hour 11 minutes and 46 seconds” “no way that’s a world record” “well we tried” the five of you stood telling people to subscribe before ending the recording and making your way back to the car

the car ride back felt a lot longer than the way there. you were all exhausted

“how’s your ankle” “it’s not too bad it’ll probably hurt more tomorrow morning”

“I'm still not over Tommy trying to kill me and tubbo” “I didn’t try to kill you” “sure” the rest of the journey was chaos you all screamed along to the songs on the radio eventually you all got to McDonald's and spent the rest of the night enjoying each other’s company.

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