#i actually thought i bought 4 but two of the cards came in packs of 3 so i accidentally ended up with 8 lol

[miyawaki]

sakura pcs i got at comicon ^_^

my phone camera doesn't work except when im using google translate at the moment so sorry about the quality 😭

kitty hat is my fav ^_^

[fingertipsmp3]

I feel like today is the only time in my life when I’ve checked my bank statement and been pleasantly surprised

[oonajaeadira]

If You Will Let My Heaven Touch Your Stars (Ezra x f!reader)

Rating: Mature. 

Pairing: Ezra (Prospect film) x f!reader

Warnings: FLUFFY SMUT. INSPIRED BY THIS. Non-explicit oral (m and f receiving). Formatting may be strange in certain Tumblr themes due to paragraph spacing with the poetry.

A/N: Okay, y’all. I was looking for another reason to write some Ezra. I got inspired by this naughty confessional post and felt the need to rise to the challenge, but make it a bit soft. You know I’m allergic to writing physical doings without some emotional yearnings. So it has come to this. And I’m not sorry.

Summary: Ezra runs his mouth over some poetry. You run your mouth over some Ezra.

TAGLIST: you can always request to be on the taglist for this or any of my work. If you’d like to be on taglists for upcoming fic, please sign up here –> TAGLIST

MASTERLIST

_______________________________

You know that sigh. It will be shortly followed by a gravelly, dissatisfied “hm.”

“Hm.” 

Next will come the impatient flipping of pages as Ezra learns that the book he’s chosen from the stack he got in trade on the Pug is…”less than literary and more than malignant.”

“What’cha reading, Ez.” The main node on the electropulse generator blew during the last harvest and you’ve been doing your best to repair it for the better part of the scaling period. Better to keep eyes on the electrics than let them wander over to his bedroll where he’s stripped to his skivvies, propped up against a crate, reading.

The rotation of Ranakh-4 is almost sixty hours, and in the north hemisphere there’s always light. Should be perfect for prospectors to take shifts and get things done, but instead, it creates a scaling period--a good fifteen-hour window of intense heat and sunlight that’s too dangerous to be exposed to for long, causing lots of nasty side effects. Including skin scaling. Hence the name. So during that period you and Ezra hide in the cooled tent, sleeping, polishing gems, maintaining equipment, wasting time, and generally trying not to annoy each other too much.

That’s a joke between you. In the years you’ve known him, Ez has yet to get under your skin. Ezra’s usually up for a game of dice or five-stand during scaling period, and if you’ve got gear to clean or inventory to count, he’s good for a story. Or ten.

But after the third rotation he stopped playing games of chance with you and his stories got gradually less... crusty. He still had a lot to say, but he stuck mostly to mining anecdotes, weaving around salacious details and editing himself in the moment.

And you’re pretty sure you know why.

This isn’t the first posting you’ve had with Ezra.

There was the assignment on Phintreas. The job on TG-19. The second assignment on Phintreas--that one it was just the two of you. Just like this one. 

There was a moment near the end of that run when you took a break from digging to stretch, arching your back in the dappled sunlight and pulling your arms up and back toward the thick foliage tops. There were singing insectoid creatures on Phintreas and you’d dropped your wrists to your head to listen to their song a little, closing your eyes and hearing in their hum the chords of a song you used to love.

It was just a few seconds, the warm air on your bare shoulders, the long thin trees--actually large grass--rising and swaying above. A pleasant stretch in your lower back. But there was something off. Your ears were full of insect song but there was something missing. 

The sound of Ezra’s digging had stopped.

You turned to find him taking a break, leaning on his shovel, jumpsuit open and pulled down to a knot at his waist like yours. Dirt-streaked arms and undershirt, looking at you, staring with sad eyes, the long slopes of his mustache running into his patchy beard making him look like he was pouting more than he was. Probably. Totally lost in thought, his eyes slid down your torso. When he woke to the fact that you caught him using you as a backdrop for reverie, he didn’t even have the balls to be embarrassed. Just realigned his focus on his shovel and went back to digging, the veins straining out on his big hands.

“You okay, Ez?”

“As well as one can be, sweetheart. I feel we’re close. It is a fine day full of wonderments.”

You’d thought about that look in the days afterward. Didn’t really know what it meant for you. Until the final sleep cycle on that grass planet, the wind traveling through the fields making the grasses sing hollow and low in the night. 

“What’cha reading, Ez?” You’d come to learn that it was a magic question, one that not only got you an explanation, but perhaps a chapter or two in his baritone twang.

And that night, as you packed your final bag, he swung the spine around to read out, “Papas Cordel, Love Verses.”

He didn’t ask you if you wanted to hear any. He just started to read.

Softly. Slowly. The words were innocuous on their own but their combination was sinful, his voice melting at the back of your brain, lifting the fine hairs of your neck, slithering down your spine before making an orbit to press upon your core and vibrate there. 

He never said goodnight. Just read you a few poems full of worship and yearning in that sonorous voice of his, then rolled over and went to sleep. It left you in a panic, trying to control your breathing, in full understanding of what that look from a few days ago had really meant.

And for the duration of your next couple of jobs you spent some time in regret, wishing you’d decoded your feelings sooner or that he’d made his own clearer. You’d vowed that if you ever had the chance to go back and live that night again you wouldn’t hesitate to….what? To do what? You never got that far. Didn’t matter. Time doesn’t go backwards. After a while, it was easy enough to convince yourself that you’d just read too much into it, that you didn’t really feel anything and neither did Ez. He had just been tired and staring into space that day. And he’d just been aesthetically moved by the song of the grasses in the night wind. It was a trick of the light, and the more you rationalized it, the further the memory slipped into the realm of silly fantasy.

So when this assignment came, you’d had time enough to leave the fantasy behind and met Ezra as you always had--as a friend and a damn talented prospector you were happy to dig with. The man always got his haul and getting paired with him always meant profit.

It only took one scaling period to make you realize you were lying to yourself. 

Scaling period means getting somewhere shaded and cooled and making yourself as comfortable as possible. Which means stripping down to essentials. All those dice games trying not to look at Ezra’s broad, bared chest, looking up from a hand of cards to find his eyes quickly darting away from you…. By the third rotation you’d noticed that neither of you could make eye contact with the other anymore and after that, Ezra generally spent his downtime during scaling periods laying on his bedroll in his skivvs, reading one of the dozen books he’d scavenged back on the station.

You weren’t sure if you were flattered or embarrassed or even injured that he wouldn’t move on whatever he was tense about. But, ultimately, this arrangement was easier.

Or so you lied to yourself.

A “what’cha reading, Ez” got you a few chapters of an old time-travel adventure or a philosophical treatise on the life of some forgotten pioneer while you mended a garment or recounted the supply of viable drill bits or tried to fix the damn faulty electropulse generator for the millionth time. Something rollicking and full of resonance to keep your ears busy and your mind distracted while you focused your eyes on anything but Ezra’s bronze skin and sable eyes and full lips and big hands and thick thighs and--

This time he clicks his tongue and runs a hand through his hair, humming a high note in a kind of frustrated laugh. “I won’t devastate your ears on this one, sweetheart. Not much of interest here but some poor soul ruttin’ and scraping for talent that eludes them. How this found its way into a thing to be bought and sold I will never understand.”

And yet, he keeps reading. Silently.

After a few minutes and another wire successfully cleaned and reconnected, you repeat yourself, taunting him.

“What’cha reading, Ez.”

“Mm.” He just flips through a few more pages, refusing to answer.

“Hey.” You chuckle into your work. “What’cha reading.” 

You hear a huge intake of breath before a hold and a forced release.

“Wow,” you laugh. “Fine. Don’t waste breath on it. Just tell me which one it is so I can avoid it later.”

“Love and other Stars by Aeon Aido Raja.”

“I see. What’s it about?”

“Sadly, it is about a poet who cannot seem to make the match between words and sentiment; a volume of supposed amorous verse.”

“Amorous verse,” your hands stop working on their own. “Love...poetry?” There’s a sudden flashback to the sound of hollow reeds and soothing verses in the night. The words are a program in your brain, overwriting your inhibition and professionalism, pushing you to a deeply-coded goal to calm the flutter in your chest.

“So it claims. Although I fear it lacks full understanding of both--” His voice cuts out as he realizes you’ve stood and you’re moving toward him and his wide eyes lock to yours as you sit beside him on the bedroll. “Now what has gotten into you, sweetheart?”

You know exactly what’s gotten into you. The triggered wish of returning to that night, the built-up tension of dancing around each other in your underwear, trying to deny what’s going on, watching him purposefully respect you when you know he feels something, when he knows you do too--

What was it you were going to do if you had a chance to go back to that last night on the grass planet? Time to find out.

“Read to me.”

Ezra hesitates, unsure. “This?”

“Read it.”

His eyes flick down to follow the quick fold of your lips as you wet them with your tongue, unconsciously mimicking you, before fumbling his gaze back to the book and, with a regretful sigh, begins.

“I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--

“Walking through the light of a moon in decline-- Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

When he looks for your reaction, you’re not sure if he’s pleading with you for permission to stop or continue.

Shit. He’s right. It isn’t great. But you’re here now, you’re going to make the most of it.

“That’s not...so bad.” And then you find out what you would have done that night--or at least how you’d start--by showing him your raised palm, lowering it slowly toward him. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” Your hand travels down through the air, just to the inch above his skivvs, waiting a moment in the aura of radiated heat there, before settling lightly over him. He never says no, never takes his eyes from yours, the only reaction coming from a small lift in his chest, the corner of his mouth curling just a fraction, and the fabric beneath your hand quickly becoming the only thing there to qualify as soft.

“Sweetheart, what you’re beginning here--”

“The only words I want from you are that poem. I want to hear you read. You stop, I stop.”

The heat hangs heavy between you, burns beneath your hand. And with a huffed exhale, Ezra starts again.

“I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--

“Walking through the light of a moon in decline-- Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

Supporting him from underneath, you’ve begun running your thumb up and down him, and his breath hitches, bringing him to a stop. So you stop.

“You stop, I stop, Ez.”

“Believe me, gentle one, I do not wish the impediment of your affections--”

“Then don’t stop.”

In a beautiful panic, Ezra looks back to the poem. “You sure you want this one?”

You nod. “I don’t care how good it is. That’s the poem I want. Keep going. I've always liked your voice. I know you can make it pretty.”

He stares at the page a moment, and you push him--literally--gasping into a start.

“If ever I could tell you When my heaven touched your stars If ever I could tell you Beloved--”

You stop palming him when he stops to breathe, and it’s only when you trace his waistband with your fingertips that he swallows and continues, willing you to keep going--

“Waking in the night to the aching void of your embrace-- Can you forgive me if I plead your name? If I summon you to my body from wherever you are?”

Whether it’s the want in his voice or just getting further into the words, the poem is already getting better. His eyebrows begin to push together and arch, as you stretch the top of his underwear down, wrapping your hand around him. His words start riding the occasional groan which just resonate with you more and you rock yourself against the bedroll in time with your gentle, yearning pulls--

“You hold me adroitly With accurate proximity To keep your breath and my breath Two founts and one pool. To swim a in star-reflective stream of our holy recreation--”

He’s doing so well, the words wandering out deep and breathy, so beautifully controlled...until you lower your mouth to him.

Then there’s a strangled staccato grunt as he adjusts, takes a couple of quick breaths and continues--

“But your body is a.....wildfire Your lips a destruction And I give my everything over to your….cleansing devastation.”

Oh, his struggle is glorious. You can feel him trying not to buck, needing to blow out a breath between pursed lips here and there to concentrate on the print. He reads with intent, leaning into context and feeling, making a gift to you of every word.

“I have yearned for you to find me worthy of a spark An ignition... The rebirth of your combustible attentions.”

He pauses again to breathe, and while you allow him a small reprieve, he’s stopped a little too long and you abruptly halt. When you pull back to look up in reprimand, he gives you a soft smile through his panting, shaking his head in wonder. You know he’ll have plenty of praises when this is over, but he doesn’t seem to want to break the spell to say them now. When you return his little smile, he looks back to the page and continues, prompting you to return to your own administrations.

“How you draw from me each sweet effusion-- Every secret vein untapped-- Now yours in expert execution, Now open to your burning maw.”

He pushes through the poetry rather than into you, allowing you to hear him and match him. Your body begins to counter-react as you feel him brimming, turning on more need in you than you’ve felt in a while, and you show him just how well he’s doing by doing well by him. 

There’s a shift in his voice as more breath enters in and nonverbal noises begin to punctuate the words; a shift in his body as his fingers tangle in your hair and grip tightly, suggesting a final rhythm-- 

“But within the fire An aperture of...divine precipitation Where those of us who live untouched Can go to drown To die To howl…..! To see the blessed face of eternity Or the….busting open….of a thousand….wretched….stars-- You-call-me-to-sinful-prayer You-invoke-my-abject-soul I find myself in debt…!...and thrall…!... to your superior…!...divinity--”

When he stops reading this round, you show mercy as he pounds his fist into the bedroll and makes his own additions to the poem, exclamations made up of your name and curses and calls to higher powers. You can only expect a man to expel from himself wondrously one method at a time, and Ezra’s earned his reward so beautifully.

Damn his opinion. The poem was perfect. You chose correctly. Either that, or Ez’s tongue really can spin any old refuse into gold.

But the book is still held high, and as you lift from him and guide him through his aftershocks with your hand, he breathes heavy though the final verse--

“This is how I love you from afar With agony and forlorn words While you hover forever in my purview A shaft of dazzling incandescence Shining down from your sun/star Through the glass of my desire Starts and restarts an everlasting blaze”

Then, setting the book reverently on the bedroll, he takes your face in his hands, dragging his thumbs across your lips, no longer needing the page for the last lines.

“If ever I could tell you And if you will let my heaven touch your stars If ever I could tell you Beloved--”

Ezra’s kiss is achingly grateful. He tries to put into one kiss the loving equivalent of everything you’ve just done for him.

When he pulls back, he gives you the tiniest rough shake, a punctuation of his playful consternation. “Mmm,” he grunts. “While I am glad to know you find my recitals pleasing, you’re about to find out that my talent for oral ministrations do not stop at mere recitation.” With a miner’s strong arms he flips you over him onto the bedroll, making short work of your underwear and pinning your legs around his shoulders in a matter of seconds. “Now, I will not be so cruel as to make you put words to my reciprocation, unless you’d like to fill the silence to direct me to your will. Or say what you please. I will not be able to add to the conversation as I will be otherwise occupied.”

You don’t know if it’s years of running his mouth or wagging his tongue or yapping his jaw, but he’s well practiced in using allllll the muscles therein to help finish what poetry couldn’t quite accomplish.

At one point you think of surprising him and trying your own hand at reading while being entertained. But when you fumble for the book, it opens to the same poem.

But not the same poem.

The opening lines are there: “I have never told you When your lips found my own I have never told you My dearest--Walking through the light of a moon in decline--Can you blame me if I steal your kiss? If I call you to my side before it collides with the ground?”

And that’s it.

That’s where it ends. The whole published poem--a mere seven lines.

Oh, Kevva. That’s...that means….

Damn, Ezra. The mouth on you.

The book drops to the bedroll.

And you break into pieces as his heaven masterfully consumes your stars.

________________

TAGLIST: you can always request to be on the taglist for this or any of my work. If you’d like to be on taglists for upcoming fic, please sign up here –> TAGLIST

Taglist: @melobee @extraterrestrialdork @14mcmd1122 @grogusmum @cannedsoupsucks

[tom-holland-parker]

Secrets

Summary: Tom is terrified about you finding out his job but when he brings you to his house he has no choice but to tell you

Pairing: Mob!tom x reader

Warning: SMALL mention of murder but nothing bad

Word count: 2374

Masterlist

"This is your house" you said in shock as Tom helped you out of the car. It was the largest house you'd ever seen and it was crazy to think that it belonged to the man you're dating. He chuckled grabbing your hand as he guided you through the front door, "it one of my houses"

You rolled your eyes looking around the fancy living room. You kept your hands to yourself, afraid that you would break something that cost more than you could imagine. "You're telling me that we've been spending weekends in my tiny studio apartment when you have a living room that size of my building"

Tom smiled watching you explore every part of the large room. "I like your small apartment. It's very cute" You stared at him with suspicious eyes, "what exactly did you say you do for a living?" 

He took a deep breath trying to remain calm as he remembered the lie he told you, "I'm CEO of a waste management company". It wasn't a complete lie, if you changed waste to people and management to murder. The truth is that Tom was too afraid to tell you that he ran one of the largest mobs in London. He was afraid you'd react badly and never want to see him again. Even though he’d only been dating you for 7 months he was completely whipped and would do anything for you.  Lying was his way of protecting you and buying time so he could find the right way to tell you what he does for a living.

You tilted your head in confusion but didn't push for detail. Instead you nodded and grabbed his hand, "so am I going to get the grand tour or are we spending the whole day in your living room". He smiled, guiding you into the other rooms. 

///

“And this is the library” Tom said as he opened the door to the large room covered floor to ceiling in bookshelves. You looked around, fascinated by all the books in the room. “Don’t get too excited, they're all history and law books” Tom said, chuckling as you sighed in disappointment. 

“You have a library in your house and you decide to fill it with boring books” You crossed your arms, “I’m convinced you’re a psychopath”. He chuckled as he stood in front of you, grabbing your chin to gently push your head up. He placed a kiss on your forehead before sighing, “I’ll clear off an entire bookshelf so you can put whatever books you want” 

“Well there's the classics, ” You began to list off all the books you could think of, “oh and there obviously-”

“Boss we got a problem” You were interrupted by a tall muscular man. Tom’s lips went thin and his jaw tightened, it didn’t take a genius to show he was annoyed. You stared in confusion but remained quiet. “Deal with it” Tom said, you flinched at the violence in his voice, “I don’t want to be bothered unless it’s an emergency” 

The man nodded his head leaving the room silently. “Your workers just hang around your house?” You questioned as Tom’s face softened again. He chuckled nervously, “I prefer to have them close to me in case anything goes wrong” 

“Interesting tactic” You joked, “It must be fun to be your employee”. He shrugged, “They still find ways to annoy me”

“But it’s waste management, how hard is it to keep track of garbage?” You asked. He laughed in amusement, as if you were telling a joke, “You’d be surprised”

“Seriously though all you have to do is pick up that trash and-” Tom interrupted holding his finger to your lips. “Enough about my job, it’s for me to worry about” He bopped your nose gently before smiling, “How’d you like to see the green house?” 

You gasped, “Why wasn’t that the first thing you showed me? Let’s go”. Tom sighed in relief, happy that you stopped asking questions, “This way Love” 

He grabbed your hand guiding you out the library to the stairs, “No one ever really uses it because no one here gardens” He explained as you got closer to the backyard, “But I saw all those plants in your apartment and figured you could find some use for it” 

It was a complete lie actually. Tom had seen the way you covered your apartment with various plants, he loved the way you took care of them as if they were real children. When he returned home that night he bought a greenhouse for his backyard, knowing that it would be a place that can make you happy whenever you came to his house. 

“This is so cool” Your eyes lit up as you walked in, hands grazing along the tables and large piles of dirt bags. You were mentally mapping out where you were going to put different plants when you heard a knock on the glass door. Another man, still tall but this time less muscular, entered whispering to Tom. You watched as Tom's eyes filled with a mixture of anger and annoyance. The man quickly left as Tom turned to you, "Darling I'm sorry I have business to handle real quick, how about you go to the living room and pick a movie for us to watch and I'll get to you as soon as possible" 

Your eyes widened nervously, "you're leaving me in the house alone?"

He chuckled grabbing your hands to lead you out the greenhouse. "No I'll be in my office in the west wing" he pointed towards the tall man from before who stood waiting outside the door, "if you need me for any reason just tell Charlie and he'll get me right away" 

You nodded your head as Tom let go of your hand, "Charlie will take you back to the living room, I'll be done as soon as possible". Tom quickly kissed your forehead before walking back into the house. You turned to Charlie, giving him an awkward smile as he began walking you to the living room. 

After an hour of sitting on the couch and staring at the television you started to get bored. You couldn't stop the little voice inside your head telling you to start exploring the house. You sighed, turning off the TV. Charlie, who had remained silent the entire time, stared at you in confusion trying to figure out exactly what you were going to do. "Where's Tom's office?" You asked, standing up from the couch. Charlie stood silent for a moment before taking a deep breath, "do you need him?"

You shook your head, "No but I'm bored and since you're not going to talk to me I might as well find something to do?"

"As much as I'd love to help you" he said sarcastically, "Tom gave me specific instructions to make sure you don't wander off"  

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms, throwing yourself back on the couch as you tried to think of a way past him. You knew trying to physically overpower him wouldn't work. Trying to seduce him was useless because you sucked at flirting, something Tom loved about you. You smiled, decided to do the only thing you knew best, catch them off guard. 

"Can we at least play a game or something. I'm sure there's playing cards around here somewhere" you said looking around the room for the deck of cards. You remembered Tom telling you how he hosted poker night every Friday with his brothers. Charlie sighed grabbing the pack from the poker set on top of the large mantle. 

You took them from his hand motioning for him to sit on the floor in front of the coffee table as you shuffled and divided the cards. "Have you ever played spit?" You asked setting the game up

He shrugged, "I've played a game or two" 

"Great get ready to lose" you joked as you grabbed your cards and started the game. It only took 4 rounds for Charlie to start getting comfortable and if you weren't set on finding Tom you would've played this game with him all day. "Where's the bathroom?" You asked as he shuffled the cards for another around. He pointed towards the hallway not giving much thought about it, "its down the hall to your left. Gold doorknob"

You nodded getting up from the table and walking out the room. As quietly as you could you walked up the stairs. You didn't know exactly where Tom's office was located but you knew that the Library was in the West wing so it had to be close by. 

You slowed your pace once you reached the library doors, listening for any sort of noise that would point out the office. It didn't take long for you to hear a muffled voice shouting. You took a deep breath following the voice to the door at the end of the hall. The shouts were louder but you could tell it wasn't Tom's voice. 

You hesitantly placed your ear on the door listening for some sort of context. "This is the second time him and his gang have done this. I want him dead" the voice shouted. You imagine it belonged to a stressed middle aged man and laughed at the idea of the man's face turning red with anger. 

"You can't just kill him. You still have deals with him that need to end first" You heard Tom's surprisingly calm voice. It shocked you how nonchalant he was about the topic of murder. The man began to shout again but you were distracted by the large hand that grasped your shoulder. You turned slowly not surprised to see Charlie standing in front of you, his face disappointed. "You must want me to get fired" he whispered 

You smiled at him as your hand grabbed the doorknob. He moved to grasp your wrist but wasn't quick enough. The door was open and you both were stumbling in the large room. You watched as all eyes turned to you and Charlie, everyone clearly confused by your entrance. Well everyone but Tom, who had a mixture of worry and anger on his face.

It was that very moment that Tom knew he wouldn't be able to hide this from you. He watched as you looked around the room, embarrassment taking over your body, obviously unaware of what was being discussed. 

"I'm sorry" you said, your voice was small and you could feel your face heating up in embarrassment. Tom sighed, looking like he was having a small moral debate with himself. He lifted his hand motioning for you to come over. You slowly walked past the others in the room who were still staring at you in confusion. 

Tom pat his lap, signaling for you to sit. You did as you were told feeling more confident now that his arm was wrapped around your waist. "Listen Jimmy, it's not going to happen until you close all business ends with him. End of story now get out" Tom demanded. 

The man, who was actually younger than you'd imagined, sighed in acceptance and he nodded his head and quickly left with two men trailing behind him. "I'll deal with you later Charlie get out" Tom said with a tired voice as he rubbed his eyes.

You stared at him awkwardly not sure if you wanted to bring up the conversation you overheard. "Wandering around a large house like this can be dangerous" Tom said as he stared at you.

You bit your lip nervously not sure how to respond, "I'm sorry" you whispered staring tm down at the chain around him neck, "don't be mad at Charlie its not his fault"

"I'm not mad" Tom's fingers fiddled with the hem of your dress, "just happy you're safe". You chuckled, "you say that like there was some sort of danger in the house"

His lips went thin as he let out a deep breath. He looked at you, one hand rubbing you back the other gripping your chin, pulling you closer to him as he gave you a kiss. "I have to tell you something" 

"What's wrong?" He bit his lip nervously, "I've been lying about my job. I'm the leader of the biggest mafia in London" 

Your body froze with shock, not sure how to respond to that. "Um" you hesitated, "like Scarface?" He couldn't hide the smile forming on his face, he found your obliviousness adorable, "yes just like Scarface" 

You knew that the reasonable response would've been to run away and never speak to Tom again, but some part of you knew that Tom was still the man you loved no matter what he did. You just had to accept that you loved a dangerous and powerful man. You sighed, "well if we're telling secrets I'm a hard core criminal"

Tom stared at you in confusion, "what?" You chuckled, "yeah in high school I went through a hardcore shoplifting stage I can pretty much steal anything” You smiled as Tom’s laughter filled the room. “But seriously I don’t get why you lied, Mafia boss sounds kinda hot” 

“Sounds hot until you're dead because someone doesn’t like you” He said as he absentmindedly drew traced shapes on your thigh with his fingers. You rolled your eyes, “Don’t try and scare me away because it’s not gonna work”

“I’m just saying I don’t want you to get into something you regret” He whispered. You sighed, “Tom will it calm you down if I told you I love you and I’m not going anywhere?” His eyes shot towards you, shock filling them. 

“Are you serious?” He asked. You chuckled, “yes now say it back before I start overthinking”. He let out a deep breath, moving you so you straddle his legs, “I love you” he whispered as he kissed your neck, “I love you so much”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” You joked as your hips grinded against his. He paused reaching down to pull out the handgun from his waist, you laughed as he placed it on the table, “oh a gun” 

[nikomedes]

i wanted to wait till i got my skins to post but. i have acquired a Deck. i have named her the Creature (my gaming desktop is the Beast) and i love her very much so far

specs on the deck, screen protector, skins, etc under the cut, and a little on my experience so far

so i placed my reservation day one for the most basic model of the steam deck, the 64gb w/o the ~special glass~, and was projected to receive in q2. i got my order confirmation email on 5/20, purchased that day, and received fedex tracking info the next day. i received my deck on 5/27. in anticipation of its arrival i ordered a set of 4 tempered glass screen protectors from amazon for $8 (lit just search "steam deck tempered glass" and you'll find what i got), and a 512gb uhs-i micro sd card to expand that pitiful 64gb. after playing with the deck for about a week i put in an order for skins: i got the dbrand steam deck skin in Kind of Purple on the front and black Swarm on the back/touchpads.

(a note on the skins: i find the cuts were of EXCELLENT quality and getting a good result, with minimal wrinkles/warping, is a matter of going very slow, using a lot of heat, and trying to pull the skin off and on during application as little as possible. i really like the feel of both the matte Purple front and the textured hexagonal pattern on the back. idk how much i'm going to like it on the touchpads, but i can always peel the Swarm squares off and put on the Purple that came with the front piece. i think they're a good value for the money, but i wouldn't buy their ultra special tempered glass at $25 for a 2 pack. at the end of the day it's just sticky tempered glass rectangles...)

the steam deck itself-- i REALLY like it. i'm an ideal user for this device, tho: i have a large steam library, i built my own pc so i appreciate the hardware and design work on this, and have become a primarily switch gamer this last year bc my gaming time has gradually shifted more towards an hour or two before bed or work than the 4-8 hour gaming marathons of college. the steam deck fills that niche well. i've picked up and played 3 different games so far (aperture desk job to learn the controls, tacoma, then night in the woods as pictured above) and had a great experience in all of them. even if a game is listed as iffy on the deck, it's worth giving it a shot-- often the biggest issue you'll run into is text size. the deck lets me particularly play smaller indie games i really want to play, but haven't felt up to booting my whole ass pc and sitting down at a desk for since i bought them. i bought tacoma the year it came out and JUST NOW got to it, and loved it! im very excited for how many more small projects the deck will let me finally spend time with because of its portability.

urgh okay switching to bullets to try to better organize my thoughts:

i got the good fan! i haven't found it to be loud at all, but i HAVE found the deck gets hot fast even running non-AAA titles. i actually went and toggled off their new fan settings that minimized when it ran in favor of the old BIOS-based ones. i would rather hear the soft sound of my fan all the time and know the unit's temp is well-regulated, rather than possibly degrade my hardware faster for Silence. glad i have the option to opt in or out of integral device updates, too!

i tried using the deck in desktop mode to install some of my itch.io library with mixed results. the linux desktop is intuitive, if small, and as a firefox user on all devices it was very easy to log in to firefox pre-installed on the device and get all my bookmarks/logins. i was able to download and extract game files from itch. i was even able to run a couple games! unfortunately the input scheme translation issue between the deck and a game running in desktop mode is rough, and the onscreen keyboard can't bridge the gap. i'm going to keep futzing with this, though! i want to play those games and it's definitely (theoretically) possible

the steam deck os is DEFINITELY in beta, and is missing some features big picture mode has. the onscreen keyboard is... bad. but software is a comparatively easy fix, and it's by no means unusable

the ergonomics work well for me! granted, i have big hands, but the button/trigger placements feel very natural, and switching to using the touchpad vs the right analog stick is nothing. for how many buttons they stuck on this thing, i'm impressed they all feel pretty good! it's definitely heavier than the switch and i haven't felt comfortable commuting with it yet. but in my experience so far, preventing wrist strain is as easy as curling up in bed or in a chair and naturally resting some point of the deck on a pillow/arm/side table, which was my same strat with the switch.

i haven't used any bluetooth peripherals yet, so nothing to say there. but it still has a headphone jack. THANK YOU. my god, i missed being able to use some of my best headphones. not to mention p much any gamer headset with headphones and mic routed through one jack.

the case is nice? no room for other items (sd card case, stylus, cable, etc) but it's very solidly built. but again, haven't travelled with the deck yet

right now there's an issue with where shader caches and other supporting data files for games get stored. i've loaded about 300gb of games on my sd so far with no problem, but my deck's default 64gb storage is almost full just from files supporting those games being saved there instead of on the card. as more people get decks, i expect a patch to make sure all files get saved one place or another will come down, though rumor has it there's a linux thing you can run to fix this... but ive been too chickenshit to try running too much on the desktop side that could alter the device's os

whew thats a lot!!! to distill, ive been enjoying this device for what it is: a new piece of tech with some flaws to be addressed, that gives me another way to interact with games i already own, and feels much more transparent in its development (and reparable! i didnt even get into the replacement parts!) than the switch. i really like it, and if you're expecting one or thinking about reserving, i hope this gave you some more info about the experience!

[ey8508]

Helm

Rumors and Secrets: Victor | 李泽言  

[ He always knew how to insert each screw where it should be. ]

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to Season 2: Chapter 14-17 (read at your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1 Page 1 -Caerus, there is an investigation task for you. - Target name? - Guozi is a newcomer who organized the audit. Her relevant information is in the attachment. - Once received, when do you want it? - Before next Wednesday. - with such little time, the salary has to be increased by 20%. After the dialogue on the screen was stagnant for a while, the other side only replied a word: OK. Page 2 Duan Junjie put down his phone and was about to continue to look at the acquisition contract in front of him when he was suddenly patted on the shoulder. The colleague smiled and asked him: "Lawyer Duan, our department is going to have a dinner on Sunday. Would you like to come together?" "Sorry, there is something on the weekend, I can't come." Duan Junjie shook his head. The man's face was a bit unpleased: "Last time you also said that when something happened, why didn't you stay active with everyone? Eating a meal is also a way of communicate feelings." Page 3 "Forget it, I have been in Huarui for so long, and I haven't seen lawyer Duan participate in the department team building!" The female colleague opposite Duan Junjie smiled and replied, "I would rather offend the high-level staff and never work overtime. You still want to occupy his weekend, don't even think about it." The colleague left angrily, but Duan Junjie kept his head buried in work without commenting on the evaluation of him by the people around him. At exactly six o'clock, he sent the compiled attachments of the acquisition contract to the mailbox of the president's office, ready to pack his things and get off work, when the computer suddenly received a notification. Page 4 Is President Li so optimistic about the contract?  Although he knows that the person in charge of the Huarui Group is extremely efficient, the time limit is too ridiculous.  He clicked on the message and found that it was an anonymous email with a bunch of garbled characters. Duan Junjie frowned. This string of garbled codes was in disorder, but he soon discovered that it was an e-mail with two layers of special encryption, and the secret key was only available to members of BLACK SWAN.  After deciphering the garbled code, he found that it was a sentence and a "S" symbol with a thicker style at the end. Come to the conference room of BLACK SWAN headquarters. Page 5 Duan Junjie read this sentence silently, and frowned. The other party does not use the B.S. communication channel, but uses an anonymous IP to send it. Obviously, it wants to bypass the surveillance of some people in the organization. After the establishment of the BS board of directors, the original Twelve members did not easily surrender to the BOSS. They were secretly engaged in a few small actions, although Duan Junjie is just a crew responsible for intelligence, because of the nature of the work, someone from Twelve has either hinted or tempted him, They secretly made a few small moves. Although Duan Junjie was just a screw responsible for intelligence, because of the nature of the work, there was also TW elve.  Duan Junjie refused either by suggesting or tempting him but Duan Junjie refused. And now... Duan Junjie looked at this email and realized something vaguely. Page 6 He glanced at the time, and now he is leaving to meet the sender of the email. It should be too late to get home at eight o'clock and cook cat food for Amo. Although he was mentally prepared, when he opened the door and saw the man sitting across the long table, Duan Junjie still couldn't help but blurt out: "Mr. Li" The man opposite the long table did not erect the barrier to cover his face. He wore a suit with a straight back and a calm expression, no different from sitting in the office of the president of Huarui Building. Duan Junjie paused, then changed his words, "BOSS." Page 7 Li Zeyan pushed the document in front of him, "I know that your superior has just sent you a task, push that task, and do this first". "Push it." Duan Junjie took the file, "Does it mean that I don't have to keep in contact with him again?" Li Zeyan did not speak. His silence indicates his answer. Duan Junjie fixed his glasses and read the document roughly: "When do you want it?" "Before next Wednesday. Is it difficult?" Page 8 "It's not difficult, but it will take up a lot of my rest time. And I see that this part of the document is just a lead, and the things that need to be explore later are much larger than these papers." He emphasized, "This will be a long work, BOSS." "State your salary expectations." Duan Junjie seriously considered his mortgage and car loan: "Fourteen salary." "Sixteen salary." Li Zeyan looked at him directly, "correspondingly, you have to get back information worth this value." Chapter 2 Page 1 Duan Junjie’s life is very regular. He gets up at 8 in the morning and makes a cat meal for Amo. Then he takes the subway that arrives at 8:27, leaves the station at 8:47, and walks for five minutes to Huarui building, go to the cafeteria to get an egg, two buns, and a cup of soy milk. Sometimes, according to the mood of the day, he changes it to milk, and make sure to turn on the computer at nine o'clock and start working. He is just a screw built in the Huarui Group, as long as he is firm and wedged in where he should be on time everything should be fine. It’s just that there are accidents occasionally in a regular life, such as today. Page 2 At 8:51, when Duan Junjie was about to walk to the door of Huarui building, his footsteps suddenly stopped because a fallen leaf was hanging in front of him for five seconds. An Evolver has used their ability. Duan Junjie quickly reacted. He looked around, cars, pedestrians, even the giant screen advertisements that flickered forever in the distance stopped. In the world of silence, the sound of leather shoes stepping on the ground seemed so clear. Page 3 Duan Junjie saw Li Zeyan appear from the other end of the intersection, walked calmly to the middle of the road, came straight to a car and bent down.  When he got up again, there was a tabby cat in his arms. When Li Zeyan hold the cat and stepped onto the sidewalk, time began to flow again.  The noise reappeared in the city in an instant, the cars and the crowd were intertwined, and no one noticed the small change just now. Li Zeyan stepped forward, suddenly as if he noticed, that he turned his head to look at Duan Junjie not far away. "Mr. Li." Duan Junjie greeted him and walked over. Page 4 Li Zeyan nodded, took the cat to a safe place and put it down.  The little cat was shocked and still seemed to be reluctant to leave Li Zeyan. After stepping on Li Zeyan's hand back and forth, it turned around and jumped into the bushes of flowers. Duan Junjie looked at the back of the cat, and inexplicably thought of his own Amo: "It has a labelled ear and it is a sterile cat." "The cats in this area have been neutered." Li Zeyan replied. These two sentences have no beginning and end, but the atmosphere is calm. Duan Junjie continued: "I didn't expect you to be a cat lover." Page 5 Knowing that all the cats in this area have been neutered and willing to use EVOL to save a cat, it really does not fit Duan Junjie’s impression of Li Zeyan. "It's just a matter of effort." Li Zeyan took off the cat's fur on his cuffs. "If it is not careful, it will not be saved every time." As soon as the voice fell, a thin mist gathered in Li Zeyan's always firm eyes, and his expression became a little dumbfounded as if something had touched his mind. Page 6 Duan Junjie saw Li Zeyan with this expression for the first time, but he intuitively felt that he shouldn't ask more. So he took a step back, "Then I will go first, and the yesterday's document will be sent to you before a quarter past ten in the morning." At 8:57, Duan Junjie arrived at the Huarui cafeteria. Today he bought one less egg because he wants to save time and punch in on time.

Chapter 3 Page 1 Whether as Caerus or Lawyer Duan, he has been very busy this time.  Huarui's acquisition plan has advanced to a critical stage, and the investigation of the "small syringe" has also fallen into a bottleneck. Even Duan Junjie, who has no commercial sense, knows that this kind of medicine that can enhance Evol can create huge benefits that can change the world.  He once suspected that Li Zeyan’s reason for being particularly concerned about "small syringes" was the instinct of capitalists to seek profit, but if they were chasing profits, they should put this unstable pharmaceutical package on the market as soon as possible, instead of letting him investigate  The "black hand" behind the shadow of the "Syringe" incident. "Lawyer Duan, we'll be going first." Page 2 "Okay, bye." Colleagues picked up their bags and said goodbye to him. When they walked to the door, they could still hear a faint sentence floating over there: "Lawyer Duan also works overtime. It's really rare." The sky gradually darkened, and the neon lights of the city outside the floor-to-ceiling windows lit up for the first time.  Duan Junjie was the only one left in the huge office. No breathing could be heard in the silent environment, only the monotonous keyboard percussion sounded in the ups and downs! A sharp alarm interrupted Duan Junjie's work. He quickly opened the alarm interface and found that the source of the alarm was actually for Li Zeyan's office of the president! Page 3 "The sound pulse in the office fluctuates abnormally" Duan Junjie whispered while looking at the screen, "someone went there?" It’s not surprising that Li Zeyan would be watched. Duan Junjie was surprised that someone dared to do something in Li Zeyan’s office. He immediately sent an encrypted signal to Li Zeyan to get the other party out of the office immediately. However, after a long time, Li Zeyan on the camera  still motionless.  Immediately he saw a girl pushing open the door of the office, still holding some documents in her hand. The boss of Huarui Investment’s gazed at the film and television company, also a member of BLACK SWAN, Miss NOX. "That's it, there wasn't anything major?" Page 4 Seeing this scene, Duan Junjie breathed a sigh of relief.  It also reflects that the time for NOX to report on official business is the anti-tracking time given to him by Li Zeyan, and he must be worthy of the sixteen salary that Li Zeyan gave him. An hour later, Duan Junjie stood in front of Li Zeyan's office and knocked on the door three times. "Come in" Duan Junjie walked in, first closed the door carefully, and operated the small anti-eavesdropping device in his hand a few times and installed it on the door.  Then he turned around and said straightforwardly: "Boss, it's done." Page 5 "Tell me." "The source of the eavesdropping was traced to a tea room in Xicheng District. This is the background check of the tea room owner and the personnel he has been in close contact with recently." Duan Junjie operated a few times on his mobile phone, and the corresponding intelligence content popped up on Li Zeyan's computer.  , "A few people have contact with the small syringe".  The person who installed the eavesdropping has also been found. It was the cleaner who cleaned your office yesterday. According to the monitoring comparison, they were not from Huarui, but they should have sent someone in disguise.  People have been arranged to go to the Dingsha Tea Room, and they can act at any time. Page 6 "Understood" Li Zeyan's tone was always faint, his expression calm, it was not like he had experienced a tense eavesdropping crisis one after another, or for this man, he had experienced countless things. Things that are unimaginable even by Duan Junjie's thoughts. More dangerous than this, more knife-pointed. The scene of life and death on the front line. He scanned the page for a few times, pressed the button, and said: "Go to the next stage." Page 7 The meaning of entering the next stage is that he does not need to care about how those eavesdroppers will be dealt with.  Duan Junjie nodded knowingly: "I understand." Li Zeyan's gaze cast through the floor-to-ceiling windows, to the distant ground, as if he was talking to Duan Junjie, or he was saying to the invisible opponent: "The line has been laid long enough." Page 8 Duan Junjie lowered his head: "I will continue to report to you if there is a new situation." He turned to leave the office, and suddenly wrinkled his nose before leaving. A faintly sweet smell that he did not know where it came from, on the tip of his nose, it was like the caramel scent he would smell when he passed the dessert shop downstairs. This type of scent should not appear in Li Zeyan's office. It might be an illusion, Duan Junjie thought.

Chapter 4 Page 1 Unknowingly, it was the end of the year again. At this time, the center of the topic in the tea room of my colleagues will be more and more to rely on a lottery draw in the main link of the Huarui annual meeting. "Last year based on the report someone in the department next door got paid for a month of paid travel and wine!" "I want to pick a camera. Maybe the equipment is configured, and my photography skills will also improve." "Lawyer Duan, what prize do you want to win?" "The Sunshine Award." Duan Junjie replied. Everyone went silent. Page 2 Duan Junjie thinks this topic is meaningless, and he doesn't think he has the luck to win a lottery. Excessive surprises are often accompanied by huge risks. He is greedy for peace and stability, and does not want to give life too many twists and turns. It's better to go home and cook an extra meal for the cat when you have the time. Huarui’s annual meeting has always been very lively. In addition to the people at the headquarters, some cooperating companies will also come to socialize. The police, like the boss of the film and television company of the company, will not be absent every year. Page 3 After the last eavesdropping incident, probably out of affirmation of his work ability, Li Zeyan handed him more tasks. As a result, he came into contact with this woman who had an unusual relationship with the BOSS. Although he exchanged information online, the other party did not know his identity in reality. He glanced at the energetic girl, and then turned away, not intending to say hello to her as Huarui's lawyer. Page 4 What Duan Junjie didn't expect was that he won the second prize at this annual meeting. The moment his name appeared on the big screen, his colleagues seemed to be more excited than him. These guys who usually claim to be the elites of the law surrounded him laughing and making noise, and they said that they should be invited to share the joy, "You're from our department. Duan Junjie you finally won this year's prize! " Duan Junjie was so upset by them that he simply slipped out of the annual meeting with an excuse.  He had just gotten in the car and was about to start, and suddenly two figures flashed in the corner of his eyes who shouldn’t be there at this time. Page 5 Li Zeyan and NOX walked to the garage side by side, and the two seemed to be talking about something.  Duan Junjie thought it might not be an official business, because the girl’s face had the brilliant smile that she have on her age. She carried a bag of vegetables in one hand and gestured twice with the other. Li Zeyan’s eyebrows were still the same. It's cold, but there is a slight arc in the corner of his mouth, and if Duan Junjie is right, is this BS BOSS carrying a bag of cat litter in his hand? It's the same cat litter as Amo. Duan Junjie raised his eyebrows, he felt as if he had discovered something extraordinary. Page 6 So Duan Junjie asked questions unrelated to work for the first time in the work email when he went to work the next day. Why is the poster of the Huarui Annual Meeting is a Siamese? Li Zeyan quickly answered him. That is my cat, it is a Ragdoll. Chapter 5 Page 1 Affected by the public opinion of "Huarui's malicious acquisition of pharmaceutical companies", the atmosphere in the company has recently become much sluggish than before. The pantry is no longer full of laughter and gossip, but turned into quiet discussions and sighs. "When I went to drink coffee across the street today, the clerk saw my badge and said that he would not accept it. He won't even talk to me afterwards" "Hmph, he didn't accept it?, you should complain to him at that time, not only complain, but also wear a Huarui badge every day to buy as a Huarui employee, it is never a shame!" "Yes, I should do that" Page 2 Duan Junjie was stunned and stopped for a while, and the colleague in the pantry had already noticed him: "Lawyer Duan." Duan Junjie nodded at them and poured the remaining water from the glass into the sink.  A female colleague smiled and greeted: "Lawyer Duan, how is Amo at home?" "It's ok, Amo has not been losing weight recently." "By the way, we have recently established a Huarui cat-related group. Lawyer Duan are interested in joining?" a female colleague asked him with a smile, "Occasionally I can see President Li's cat too, Pudding!" "Thank you, I'll think about it." Page 3 After bidding farewell to his colleagues, Duan Junjie set off for the BS building. One or two minutes before, he sent a message from the special communication channel of B.S. saying that an emergency meeting would be held. Before coming to the meeting room, he habitually knocked on the door three times, and after getting permission from Li Zeyan, he walked in. "BOSS" "The next phase of the plan can start." "Understood, I will arrange manpower." Page 4 Li Zeyan ordered him to do the next thing as usual, until a silver-haired man suddenly broke in and interrupted Duan Junjie's bargaining over the length of overtime. The two talked in private. Before the silver-haired man glanced coldly on him, Duan Junjie turned around and left the meeting room. Only doing what should be done, not listening to what should not be heard, this is the work principle he has always believed in. Page 5 Duan Junjie feels that his current life is very good. Both Huarui and BLACK SWAN are huge and sophisticated machines, requiring countless from 'attorney Duan' and 'Caerus' as screws to maintain their operation. The man at the helm who directs the operation is Li Zeyan. Screws can get stuck occasionally and can be replaced, but Li Zeyan make no mistakes, let alone replace any mistakes, the consequences are fatal once it appears. Perhaps in terms of risk, following Li Zeyan is already the biggest gamble in Duan Junjie's life. Page 6 His chips were all bet on this man, and he inexplicably believed that Li Zeyan could win, not because of the gorgeous numbers in the Huarui annual report, nor because B.S. continued to grow these crowns and glamorous surfaces under his leadership. It is because the stray cat was rescued, the brand new "small syringe" industry chain, and the badge on the chest of a colleague. The reason lies in these small things. Duan Junjie turned on the phone and opened a chat window before starting the next stage of work. "What is the cat-related group number?"

[aceofspadegrass]

Chess is Quiet

Characters: Chishiya Shuntaro

Genre: A little angst, but otherwise just normal Borderland business. Chishiya's just being Chishiya and watching.

1k words

Would you believe me if I said I wrote this because my sibling bought the Sims 4 with the pet expansion pack?

Because I did. We named the cat Moo Cow. This is a story that came from us naming a Sims cat Moo Cow.

Also I mention blood and death, so be aware.

Death hung heavy in the air, people gasping their last. Some held tightly to never-ending gushing openings, light and warmth fading from their eyes. Not many still remained standing from the group that entered in the first place. The floor was smeared in blood and viscera; body parts were thrown everywhere like discarded dolls.

Chishiya stands in the relative safety of the safe zone, hands in his pocket as he surveyed the scene.

The game was simple, a game of chess with one important factor: Only those who managed to reach the other side were to live. It was not a game of capturing a king as the game usually dictates, instead solely on crossing the checkerboard floor as neatly as they can. They of course still held the mobility rules of chess, pawns only able to go diagonal to ‘capture’, knights only moving in an L shape, and so on. The positions were randomly chosen for the players, leaving nobody to try to take the best move allowance on their own terms. They also still held true to any game, everyone having to go one at a time, dictated by whoever raised their hand first from their side. The phones would always turn red when they were allowed to move.

As with a game of chess, there were opponents, other players who had the same objective. Both sides were allowed to be armed with weapons, however unable to use them until ‘capturing’ an opponent piece. Whoever was captured were fated to be killed on the spot, and if not by human hands, then by a laser or by the referee wearing a mask and wielding a chainsaw. After the first few deaths, it was random in what complimentary death would occur for a captured player. Cheating, obviously, was illegal, and led to the same fate.

Chishiya was lucky, in a sense. He got the esteemed role of the queen, allowed to move in any direction he pleased. Granted yes, it meant he would be targeted as he had the easiest way towards victory, but Chishiya wasn’t cunning for nothing, keeping track of every opposing player. The game didn’t mark players visually, leaving them unknown to others if they didn’t tell everyone their role in the game. Once moved around, it was near impossible to know who was who just by sight.

Chishiya still managed his way past every opposing player, now safely free from the confines of the checkerboard floor. He watches as those remaining stand on the board, some still holding strong and others trembling. He was currently the only one safe, although others certainly seemed close to it. He watches one of the players try to plead to let her make it to the end, hands clasped together in such a pitiful manner. This late into the game to beg? Chishiya notes her position, which wasn’t half bad considering everything.

Still, he didn’t believe the tactic would work, as removing any opposing force paves the way to safety. Chishiya is proven right not even a minute later, a man approaching her spot and swinging the axe into her neck, the blood gushing and spraying before she falls limp to the ground. Her body was roughly kicked aside to make space to continue to move, and the game continues onwards as normal.

Chishiya leans against the wall, forced to wait it out until either the remaining players all died or finally make it across. Chishiya does not look away for a second, watching each and every move. He cracks a smirk as one of the players, the poor king, steps on the tile that placed them in the path of the bishop without noticing.

The bishop does not hesitate to obtrude, and the king falls by laser. The player barely offers a glance to the corpse that now laid at their feet, whether by respect or disgust for them.

The game trails on far too long, and Chishiya decides instead of watching fools play to explore around the building they were within. It seemed to be a restaurant, chairs and table pushed around haphazardly, with barely a path through some of the mess, the game space the only pristine area free from obstructions.

The inspection turned out nothing for the man’s curiosity. Utterly boring. There was rotting foods and spoiled beverages in the kitchen area, and everything remained in disarray without a sign of any clues that Chishiya could pick up on. He could risk looking if the referee had anything of use, but the game was still in play and he didn’t bother with dealing with them when they had a weapon that could seriously harm him.

A brief glance back at the game showed decent progress, and yet no more people made it to the other end. The last few remained at what seemed to be a standstill, still grasping for survival that only lay across from them, guarded by others who wanted the same.

Chishiya takes a seat nearby to watch instead, letting his mind roam without fully absorbing himself into his thoughts. He needed to remain at least somewhat vigilant in case someone broke through to the other side and felt particularly violent despite being safe for a few more days.

His semi-absent thoughts carry him throughout the rest of the boring game, only two others actually ever making it. Their phones all chime at once, just as the referee’s head explode signaling the end, and Chishiya makes his way out, passing the lone table with the lone card. He doesn’t stop, purloining the card and tucking it in his pocket. He knows what laid on the face, a 4 of diamonds, a simple and easy game.

There was a car that waited for him, but he was the only one left to take it, the others that had been with him too stupid to be able to come back. He didn’t care, he got the card and now could ‘rest’ before he was inevitably sent out once more to continue putting his life on the line.

That was fine by him, Chishiya could easily glide by as he always had been. He turns the car on and drives off, back to the Beach, not a single distraction in sight. Calming, left him alone once more with himself.

Calm like the death that now allowed the silence that hung in the air.

[snvxiii]

Snow-Centric Merch Haul Part 4: Art Museum Kai Trading Card Booster Box First Edition

07/22/22 | Bought on eBay | 26.20 USD (5 USD shipping)

Welcome to part 4 of my Snow-Centric Merch Haul!

I answered an ask last Friday helping someone narrow down their search results to find Snow’s silver pendant—and accidentally found a listing on eBay for a booster box of the Museum Kai trading cards.

I didn't know they were a thing until last Friday. Impulsively, I bought it.

–

Pricing points:

Other listings show for 50+ USD, but those listings belong to the seller I bought from.

I believe they’re auctioning off the individual boxes because: a) no one is buying these for 50 USD; b) they've been sitting so long, they want to move them quickly; c) the auction price looks like a “better” deal, which is why they’re leaving their more expensive listings up.

Sold listings go from 20-40 USD—but I think spending anything more than 20 USD for, arguably questionable quality, screenshots printed on, what looks to be, 3” x 5” laminated cards is a rip-off.

No, seriously. Some of these scenes are blurry and low-res. It looks like they wanted to keep to scenes from the beginning of Palumpolum and early-game to avoid spoilers. You can tell by the lack of Fang.

Individual cards go for 5-8 USD (shipping not included, yikes), but I know those listings have been sitting for at least a year, if not longer.

–

Packaging:

The plastic wrap is easy to tear—I couldn’t get a clean cut unlike with opening Pokemon cards. I did manage to open the box without any rips though, so that’s a win!

I'll save the box to store all of my Snow cards in.

–

The first pull:

Ever played a gacha game? You know that feeling, when you summon the UR on the very first draw?

Yeah.

The very first card inside was Snow's special foil! It's reflective and catches dust better than dust cloths. You can see my phone case in the bottom left.

The feel of the cards themselves feel similar to... laminate, I'd say. I expected a feel similar to the FF TCG cards, but it lacks any texture. They feel closer to photo cards, maybe?

–

Final results:

I kept any and every card with Snow's face–including the cards with his face on the back.

I kept Serah's cards, as well as the environmental cards. Serah's portrait card is really pretty! I'm impressed they chose such a good shot.

The environmental cards are gorgeous pieces too. They'll make great references I can pull from.

–

Everything together:

Here are all the cards in total—aside from one not shown.

This booster pack had a heavy bias towards Lightning, Snow, and the environment cards—along with two absolutely BS cards that just show the XIII logo. Like, gee, thanks. If I wanted to look at the package imagery, I’d look at the box the cards came in!

I'm surprised to see the lack of Cid Raines. We got Jihl, who was portrayed as a complete moron and anti-climactically killed and forgotten–but no Raines? The man who actually gave us a boss fight?

Going off the wiki page–it seems with each booster box, you'll get one of each card except for the foils. I got Snow and Lightning's foils, but am missing Vanille's. Oh well.

—

Final thoughts:

I had fun! I got a nice little bump to my Snow collection. I'll be selling the others off in character-themed lots on Mercari to make my money back + a little profit.

[jawritter]

Twelve Days Of Christmas

Chapter 3

Summary: Dean never realized that Y/N missed Christmas until he turned off an annoying Christmas song on the radio on the way home from a hunt, now he will make it his personal mission to give her the Christmas he misses so much, and if he plays his cards right, maybe he will give her what he has wanted to give her for so many years, himself.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnchristmasbingo​​

Square Field: Sleigh Ride

Word Count: 1760

Warnings: Hint of anxiety issues, fluff, fluff, and more tooth rotting fluff.

A/N: This is to help me catch up on my SPN Christmas Bingo card lol Chapter 4 will post tomorrow! I knew chapter will post every day until Christmas! I know I’m insane lol. This is a real time fic collection and all mistakes will be my own! Please do not copy my work! Hope you all enjoy these!!

**SERIES MASTERLIST**  **MASTERLIST**  **BECOME A PATREON**

The last thing you remember from the night before was falling asleep wrapped up in Dean’s arms in the Dean cave. Normally you weren’t one to fall asleep during movie night, but it also wasn’t normal for Dean to be that cuddly either, and you were apparently a lot more worn down from the hunt than you thought you were, not to mention your little self inflicted melt down over Christmas. Your anxiety tended to hit at the world's worst time and take a whole lot out of you when it did, yesterday was no exception. 

When you woke up this morning you were tucked safely in your bed, and you knew you didn’t wake up to get there on your own, meaning Dean must have carried you there and tucked you in after you had fallen asleep. That thought alone made you smile. Dean cared about you enough to carry you in there, and tuck you into your bed after you had fallen asleep on him. No man had ever done that for you before, and you swear your heart grew three sizes in your chest. 

You had always harbored feelings for Dean, but never allowed yourself to think that they could possibly be reciprocated by the famous Winchester. He was a warrior, a hero, and you were just lucky he allowed you into his little band of misfits to hunt with them, and gave you home when you met him years ago hunting a nest of Vampires in Illinois.

You climb out of bed, not bothering to change out of your pajamas Dean had bought for you the night before, and made your way into the kitchen in search of coffee. You were surprised to find Dean standing next to the coffee pot with a cup in hand, fully dressed, showered, and ready for the day; normally Dean was a bit of a late sleeper. 

“Morning,” he said brightly, as if he’d been up waiting for hours, quickly grabbing a mug for you and filling it with coffee before you could even cross the floor. 

“Morning,” you tell him with a smile as you take the steaming mug from him, and make your way over to the table to sit down. “What’s got you up so early?” you asked him, and he chuckles as he sits to work on your breakfast. 

“Early? Sweetheart it’s almost noon,” he says without even turning around to face you, cracking an egg over the pan in front of him. “I was starting to think you were going to skip today and just stay in bed. I was a little hurt that I didn’t get an invitation,” he played as he pulled bacon from the pack and added it to the pan in front of him with the eggs. 

You blush at his antics and hide behind your coffee cup as Sam comes striding into the room, a book in hand, and a cup of to refill with coffee in another. He didn’t so much as give the two of you a second glance as he refilled his coffee up and started to track back out to the library with his nose firmly implanted in a book. Dean watched his brother as he gave the bacon on final flip and plated up your food before rolling his eyes and turning to you, shaking his head as he delivered your breakfast to you. 

“Boy’s lucky he found Eileen, if not I don’t think he’d ever get laid,” he grumbles as he takes a seat across from you and you stifle the laugh that threatens to fall from your lips with a mouth full of bacon. 

“Leave him be,” you scold, and Dean’s eyes sparkle a little with mischief when he playfully runs his foot across your under the table. Was he really playing footsie with you? 

You clear your throat, and decide to just play along without saying anything and you swear you saw a victory smirk cross his gorgeous face. 

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” you asked him, expecting some smart ass answer like porn, or some slasher marathon he’d planned since there was no case, and so much snow had fallen the night before it wasn’t like anyone wanted to get out in it anyway to actually work.

“You and I are gonna go downtown, so hurry up and eat your breakfast so you can get dressed,” he said excitedly, and you give him a confused look. 

“Downtown? It was a snow storm last night? Can we even get downtown?” you asked him in confusion, but he seemed thoroughly unfazed. 

“It stopped snowing hours ago, and the snow plows have already came through and cleared the roads, the sun's out, and it’s really not that bad out there, so hurry up Y/N/N!”

He looked so much like an over excited child that you couldn’t say no to that face even if you wanted too. You quickly finish your meal and dress in your room before meeting Dean in the garage where he’d gone to warm up Baby for you so that you wouldn’t be cold when you got into the car. 

You don’t know where this new, thoughtfully sweet, Dean came from but you weren’t complaining. Dean had never wanted to spend this much time with you before, and you were going to enjoy every second of it. 

“What are we doing downtown Dean?” you asked him as the car moved ever closer to Dean’s destination, his fingers were drumming alone to the classic rock song that was filtering through the speakers, and he was humming in a way you had only heard him do about a handful of times. He looked, happy? It was rare that Dean ever looked happy. It was a nice chance. 

“You're about to find out,” he said with a smirk, pointing ahead of him, at the side road where a fully decked out horse driven sleigh was waiting, children flocking around the animal as the handler let them each have a turn petting it’s short main. Your mouth fell open in utter shock and disbelief at the sight before you, and you couldn’t deny that the little girl in you was squealing with delight at the sight before you as Dean parks Baby safely on the side of the street. 

“Dean! Are you serious?!” 

You were all but bouncing up and down in the seat and Dean was chuckling at your excitement as his bright green eyes watched you, an emotion filling them you couldn’t understand in that moment. 

“Serious as a heart attack baby girl, I’ve already got us booked for a ride, in fact they're waiting on us now,” he said, getting out of the car and making his way around to pull you from the passenger side. 

You were still in so much shock that you all you could do was smile like an idiot as he laced his fingers with yours, and made his way over to the sleigh, shopping to let you pet the horse for a moment before helping you into it, following close behind you and draping the blanket they provided over your lap so that you wouldn’t get cold. 

The young man that was standing next to the horse climbed up behind the reins and took off slowly, making his way through a heavily decorated part of town, and through the little orchard that set just outside the park, snow making them limbs of the trees heavy and everything bright like winter wonderland as your eyes traveled around the scene before you. It looked like something out of a cheesy Hallmark movie, but you wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. Dean's eyes barley left your face, watching you as you looked around with a childlike amusement. 

“Dean, how did you even find out they were doing this?” you asked him as he wraps his arm around you and pulls you close to him to help keep you warm. Your heart fluttered around in your chest at the simple little act, and damn he smelt like Heaven.

“I saw it on the news, and I remember you saying how much you loved horses, so I figured it was something you would like to do,” he said simply with a shrug, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips, and those eye crinkles you loved so much coming out to play. “I thought this would be the perfect day 11.” 

“I love it De, thank you for thinking of me,” you tell him, letting your head rest against his shoulder as the landscape passed along by you like a beautiful, moving portrait. 

“I always think of you Y/N,” he said, and you blushed deeply at his little revelation, looking up into his forest green eyes as he stared down into your own. You watched as his eyes traveled from your lips to your eyes again, and for just a second you thought he was going to kiss you. 

Just before the electric pull between the two of you became irresistible he pulled back a little, and you could have kicked yourself for thinking this was anything but plutonic. You didn’t have a chance to sulk about it before his free hand reached over and laced with yours, quickly making the moment all too intimate again, his lips kissing the top of your forehead and making your heart leap in your chest. 

“You just wait to see what I have planned for day ten,” he chuckled as the sleigh started to make its way back to the starting point, and you started to question him, but something in his eyes just said he wanted to surprise you, so you wouldn’t spoil this for him either. 

“You know you don’t have to do this Dean,” you tell him earnestly, and he smiles warmly down at you as the ride comes to an end, and he helps you down, leading you towards the little hot chocolate stand that was set up close by. 

“I want too, Y/N/N, you deserve this, and I’m going to make this a Christmas you will never forget, trust me.” 

Your mind and heart fluttered with possibilities and excitement that you hadn’t felt in years, but more importantly you were pretty sure you were falling in love with this green eyed God of a man, and hoped that it didn’t put a damper on the holiday fun he had planned for the two of you.

Forever Tags: 

@deandreamernp​

@forgetthisbull​

@miraclesoflove​

@deanwanddamons​​​ 

@rvgrsbrns​​ 

@chevyharvelle​​ 

@onethirstyunicorn​​ 

@i-love-superhero​​ 

@lyss-dw79​ 

@magssteenkamp​ 

@lemondropirwin​ 

@squirrelnotsam​ 

@hobby27​ 

@spnbaby-67​  

@mrsjenniferwinchester​ 

@defenderrosetyler​ 

@screechingartisancashbailiff​ 

@thecreatiivecorner​  

@vicmc624​ 

@busy-bee-angel-misska​ 

@justanotherwinchester​

@brilovesdeanwinchester​

@idksupernatural​

@lyarr24​ 

@amandamdiehl​ 

@miraclesoflove​ 

 @emoryhemsworth​ 

@dean-winchesters-gardian-angel​ 

@softsebastian 

@tatted-trina6​

@anaelsbrunette​ 

@hayleeharling​   

@flamencodiva​ 

@coldmuffinbanditshoe​ 

@dirty-pan-goblin​ 

@itmejado​ 

@supernatural3002​ 

@teresa-67​ 

@thoughts-and-funnies​ 

@hearteyes-j2​

@miss-nerd95​ 

@writers-whirlwind​

@peaches007​

@bobbie3939​

Jensen and Dean’s Babes

@akshi8278​

@love-jackles-37-blog​

@supernatural-bellawinchester​

@bobbie3939​

Twelve Days Of Christmas Tag List: 

@440mxs-wife​

[btsslowburnfic]

BTS Reacts: You Surprise them with Flowers

Fluffy Friday. Enjoy <3

Jin:  Jin walks through the door to your home. “Jagiya! I’m home,” he shouts as he takes off his shoes. He hears nothing in return and then realizes your shoes and purse are missing so you must still be at work. He frowns; he had gotten off early to celebrate your anniversary and he thought you also might have. He notices a light floral fragrance filling the air and  walks through the foyer into the main living room. He instantly sees two vases of roses sitting on the coffee table. “I didn’t order flowers,” he thinks to himself and he walks over to inspect them. He sees a pink envelope laying next to them “Jinnie <3” He blushes as he opens the envelope. “Happy 2nd Anniversary Jinnie baby!! These flowers are almost as good looking as you. ALMOST. I Love You!!!! See you tonight! PS I bet they match the color of your ears right now. Right?” “Aish…” Jin said, feeling his ears and neck turn red. He takes a selfie and sends it to you, “You were right. <3 See you tonight.” 

Suga/Yoongi: The guys were backstage getting their hair and makeup done. Yoongi was over it. He was tired from the press tour and the concerts and he missed you so much. He scrolled through his phone looking at pictures of you and of the two of you together. A sad sigh escaped his lips. “Excuse me!” a voice pipe through the room, “I have a flower delivery.” Namjoon walked over to meet the delivery person. “Oh how nice, someone sent us flowers.” He takes the bouquet and looks at the card. “Actually,” he walks over and hands them to Yoongi who hasn’t even looked up from his phone, off in his own world. “Someone sent this guy flowers,” he thrusts them into Yoongi’s lap. “What the hell?” he asks confused with a pout on his face. But then he sees the card with his name on it and opens it up, “I miss you so much babe! I can’t wait to see you again next month, until then xoxoxo” He looks at the bouquet of flowers, forget-me-nots and for a brief moment, his smile appears. 

JHope/Hobi: “Just relax, we’re almost there!” you reassure your boyfriend as you continue to drive the car away from Seoul and into the countryside. He of course has no idea because he is blindfolded. You feel a little like a creep but you know it will be worth it. “How can I relax? I’m so excited!” he says, his infectious smile spreading across his face. “Just ten more minutes!” you grab his hand and squeeze it. “You know, I could get used to this blindfold thing,” he says, teasing you as he intertwines your fingers. He can’t see you blush, but you are sure he knows the effect he’s having on you. You arrive at your destination, the car slowing to a stop. “Can I take this off now?” he asks, his hands moving up to the blindfold. “No!” you yell. “I need you to keep it on for like 2 more minutes, I promise!” you walk out and open his door for him and gently lead him to the surprise. “Ok. Now you can take it off!” you say. He removes the blindfold and finds himself surrounded by a field of Sunflowers. His hands fly up to his mouth. “What is this? This is amazing!” “It’s a sunflower field. Well...technically a sunflower maze. Since you give everyone so much sunshine I thought this would be perfect for me to give to you.” “I love it!” he pulls you close and kisses you. “Wait, did you say it’s a maze?” 

Rm/Namjoon: Namjoon was taking a break at the studio, scrolling through instagram when he saw a picture that caught his eye. It was a photo that looked just like his commissioned bonsai painting hanging up in his home but with another painting next to it. “Hmmm I wonder if the artist painted another one?” he wondered. But as he looked closer at the picture, he came to realize that it was his wall and that was his painting. What the hell? He texts you, “Did someone  from the art studio come by and take a picture of the bonsai painting? It’s on instagram and it definitely looks like it’s at our house but there’s another painting next to it????” You look at your phone and look up at the wall. Shit. You had commissioned a painting to accompany it by the same artist as a surprise and he had posted it before you were able to show Namjoon. Uggghhhh. It wasn’t the artists fault, he didn’t know that Joon hadn’t been home yet this week. “That’s weird. What does the other painting look like?” you evasively respond. “Flowers. Lots of flowers. It does compliment the other painting well though. Maybe we should ask him about it?” You breathe out a sigh of relief as you text back, “You should recognize them, they’re clematis <3 And it IS our living room. It was supposed to be an early birthday surprise soooo SURPRISE!!! XD XD” “haha really? Well, I love it and can’t wait to see it in person this weekend (and you!)”   

V/Taehyung: Taehyung was on tour during his birthday again this year. You were sad you weren’t able to fly in and surprise him, but you were looking forward to him getting his present which you had coordinated with Jimin and the agency to make sure it arrived in the correct city on the correct day. You had not anticipated he would open it on VLive. You were watching as you wanted to feel like you were celebrating with them. The boys brought out a birthday cake for him and they all sang. They looked tired and happy, the usual when they were on tour. “Thank you everyone. Thank you ARMY, thank you to my parents, thank you [y/n]. Thank you all for supporting me another year.” He waved and made cute faces for the camera and then some awkward ones as well because of who he was. “Actually,” Jimin says, “We have a gift here from [y/n] for you.” Suddenly you are very embarrassed and wish you weren’t watching. Let’s let hundreds of thousands of strangers see what you got your super hot famous boyfriend. Oh God. But his smile was the sweetest, shyest thing ever as he took the package from Jimin so you continued watching even though you wanted to die. “Really? All the way from Korea?” He asks. He takes his phone out and texts you “Are you watching?” you cringe as you respond “Yes <3” He opens the box and you are glad it’s at least nothing sexual or super weird. Out pop hundreds of origami flowers. Carefully folded in various shades of purple, red, and pink. “OOOOoo” the other guys remark as the flowers fall through the hotel conference room. “Beautiful. Did she fold all of these?” Jin asks. Tae smiles as he texts you that same question. You respond. Tae reads your response out loud. “Yes. There are 365 flowers in the box. I folded one each day since your last birthday. The red ones have messages on them as well.” collective awws and “how sweet” fill the room and the Vlive comments fill up with hearts. “Thank you [y/n] I love them and I love you.” 

Jungkook:  JK was currently snuggled up on your couch, drifting in and out of sleep. Jin and Jimin had just left him at your apartment after they had taken him to have his wisdom teeth removed. He had been out of his damn mind at first but now he was just a cute drooly baby. You returned from the store with more pain medicine, ice cream, gauze, and flowers. You had never taken care of someone before really, but this stuff always made you feel better. You head over to the adorable lump on the couch and snuggle up next to him. “Hey,I’m back. You need to take more medicine, it’s been 4 hours” you gently nudge him. “Mmmm k…”  he manages to get out with all the gauze still packed in his mouth. You walk back over to the kitchen and return with a glass of water and your supplies, handing him the pills and water while you arrange the ice cream and flowers on the table. You also go and grab a blanket and stuffed Cooky for maximum comfort. When you come back out to the couch he is crying, “You go me fwower?” “oh my gosh why are you crying? Does it hurt?” you rush over to him. “I wuv fwower. I wuv you” You laugh as you realize he’s still high from the medicine. “ I love you too and I’m glad you like them babe. Now let’s eat some ice cream and rest,” you push his hair back gently and kiss him on the forehead. 

Jimin: You were so excited to go to the festival today! Jimin had bought coordinating hanbok for the two of you to wear and you were going to surprise him by making flower crowns for everyone. Well. In theory you were. But in actuality you were surrounded by petals and greenery that were not going together at all. You felt your tears welling up in frustration. Damn it, you softly whispered as the flowers once again came undone. You hear a knock on the door and go to answer it. It’s Jimin. He’s early and there are zero flower crowns. “Are you ok?” he asks, seeing the sadness in your face. “Do we need to skip the festival?” “No,” you shake your head sadly and open your apartment door all the way, showing the flower explosions. To his credit, he tries not to laugh. He really does. But that just makes you start to laugh as well. Soon the two of you are giggling as you try to show him how bad you are at making them. “See? I’m worse than Jin.” you say, “his was ugly but it stayed together.” you laugh-cry at the sad pile of leaves in your hand. “Oh jagiya, it’s ok. Here, let me help you.” he takes the flowers into his hands and manages to weave them into a beautiful crown. “You’re so talented.” you say and shyly smile as he places the crown on your head. He gently kisses you, “you look beautiful.”

[hold-me-sickfics]

Okay guys, as promised:

Day 1: Namjoon💜

Prompt: Namjoon’s been up since 2:00 a.m. with a stuffy nose and a pretty rough cough. His throat is killing him, and can someone please bring him the lotion tissues? His nose is bright red from how many times he’s used that old t-shirt in the floor. Thankfully, he’s been given permission to stay home and rest for the day, but that’s just impossible for him. He’s supposed to be the leader of the pack, so how can he just abandon them right before an interview? What if they need him? What if the interviewer only speaks English? What if Jungkook loses his shirt 5 minutes before they go in? What if Jimin and Taehyung accidentally reveal what the new album is called? What if… well everything happens? Or… what if… just maybe… the leader needs loved and coddled but instead he’s all alone at the house all day...

TW: Food, this fic is more snz focused than anything (Note: if anyone sees a trigger I missed, please let me know and I’ll post a warning for it too!)

—————-

“Namjoon, why are you in here? I thought I just told you to stay in bed until I got your breakfast.” Jin lightly scolded the leader. Namjoon had been up since 2:00 feeling pretty sick.

“I know but I wadted to bake sure you didn’t deed help with breakfast.” Namjoon shuffled over to the coffee maker, and poured himself a mug of it.

“Joon, down. No coffee. You’re sick, so the last thing you need is coffee making your stomach hurt.” Jin took the mug from him, and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Here, just sit down and rest okay? How about you make a quick call and see if you can get today off. I’ll make you some hot tea. We’ll see if you feel like eating once your sinuses open up a little, alright?” Jin eased Namjoon down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

Namjoon had to admit, he felt terrible. His nose was stopped up and running at the same time. His throat felt like it was tight and on fire. His muscles ached, and he felt cold. His skin felt so sensitive; even Jin touching him earlier had hurt. But still, having his hyung so close did help him to feel safe and cared for, so he had endured the pain.

Namjoon picked up the phone, and dialed the BigHit office number, asking to speak to his scheduler.

Jin listened closely as Namjoon struggled to talk. He grabbed a bottle of honey out of the cabinet and poured a tablespoon into the tea he was brewing on the stove. Sympathy pain took over his chest when he hear Namjoon cough to clear his throat. The cough was wet, and thick, and had nearly even made him gag.

Just then, Taehyung and Jungkook came running downstairs.

“I AM EATING THE BACON! YOU CANNOT STOP ME!” Taehyung screamed.

“I WILL JUMP ON YOU!” Jungkook swung over the railing.

Surprisingly, the maknae managed to land perfectly on Taehyung’s back, causing him to hit the floor- hard.

“Ah!” Taehyung let out a harsh cry.

“Shhhh!” Jin pressed a finger to his lips. He mouthed the words “Joon’s on the phone”

Both the younger boys apologized immediately, and then bolted to the refrigerator. Jin couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

“Yeah, I cad’t breathe well.”

Namjoon coughed again. This time wasn’t as thick, but Jin could tell there was enough snot in his throat to fill a bucket.

Hoseok came downstairs in his bathrobe, hair still dripping wet from his shower. He too, heard the last cough, and decided to inquire about the situation.

“Jin, he sounds awful.” Hoseok glanced over at the leader. He immediately noticed Namjoon’s red nose, puffy-pink eyes, and pale skin. A sheen of sweat covered his face and upper chest. His hair was half-matted to his head in sweat as well.

“He’s been like this since 2:00. He’s trying to get today off so he can stay home and rest.” Jin took the tea off the stove and poured a decent-sized amount into a small, blue mug.

“Okay, thank you.” Namjoon hit the “end call” button, and set his phone down. He rested his head in his hands.

Jin carried the mug to Namjoon and set it on the coaster. He took the chair beside Namjoon and stroked his hair softly.

“What’d they say?” Jin leaned down to try and meet Namjoon’s eyes.

“They’re letting be stay home... but you all have an interview today... I cad’t stay here and just let you guys go alone.”

Though it hurt to have someone touch his skin, he leaned in closer to Jin, trying to take in some of his strength.

“Joonie, you have to stay home today. You look like you feel awful, and I know you do. You’ve been up since 2:00 this morning, and I know you’re exhausted. We’ll be back by dinner, okay?” Jin carded his fingers through the younger’s sweaty blonde hair.

Namjoon was about to protest when his chest broke into hacking, heaving coughs. His ribs hurt from coughing so much and his throat felt like it had been run up and down a cheese grater. Tears came to his eyes as he finished his coughing fit.

“Take it easy Joon-bug. Sip on this for me. It’s got honey in it. It’ll help ease the pain a little. And hopefully it’ll open you up too.” Jin lifted the mug to Namjoon’s hands and helped him lift it to his lips. Jin couldn’t help it, he had a soft spot for all the members, but it was really bad when Namjoon didn’t feel well. It seemed that Namjoon was all he could think about on those occasions. Perhaps since they were paired together so often in games and such. They’d just gotten really close as oldest and leader of the group.

Namjoon gratefully accepted the beverage, and sipped it down. He was visibly relieved by the warmth and smoothness of the liquid. It nearly made him forget that he had to let the group be on their own today.

Aaaaaand that’s when he remembered.

“Jin, what if they don’t have a transblator? Or like, what if Judkook can’t find his shirt again? Or what if...” Jin cut Namjoon’s worries off short.

“I’ll take care of it okay? You just rest today. And if I come home and find you doing anything but resting, I won’t be very happy.” Jin gave him a gentle look, telling the leader that he was just doing what was best for Namjoon’s health.

Namjoon wanted to debate, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t feeling strong enough. He nodded, and they went through the rest of breakfast pretty smoothly.

An hour passed, and Namjoon was currently being tucked in by Jin.

“Okay, I put a bottle of water on your table. There are two extra blankets in that chair over there. I have cough drops over here beside the water, but if you end up needing more, they’re in the top shelf of the bathroom cabinet. I know you didn’t want to take medicine, but I left it here anyways. Send me your temperature every hour, unless you fall asleep. If you fall asleep, then take it ten minutes after you wake up. We’ll be back by 4:30 p.m. If you need me, call me. I’ll have my phone on while we’re there except when we’re shooting. Other than that, I’ll most likely pick up on the first ring. Oh and-“

“Jin?” Namjoon interrupted him.

“Yeah?” Jin realized he might have been rambling.

“Thanks.”

Jin smiled. “No problem. Just rest okay? No doing stupid things. Don’t try and do housework, don’t work on songs, don’t make calls unless absolutely necessary... or well you know, unless they’re to me.” Jin’s eyes softened. “Feel better Joon-bug.”

Namjoon nodded, and rested his head on the pillow as Jin closed the door.

He heard the other boys close the front door, and suddenly, he was alone in the house.

He felt lonely almost instantly. Turning on the tv was supposed to help, but it didn’t. After one episode of “Housewives of America,” he turned it off and tried to sleep.

He woke up slowly, and turned to face his alarm clock.

“Please be 4:30, please be 4:30...”

The clock read 10:48 a.m. They’d been gone for 46 minutes. Namjoon whined loudly to himself.

He tried to go back to sleep, but it was no use. His nose kept running and his throat hurt badly. He finally just decided to get up and get something to eat.

That task proved to be harder than he originally thought it would be. The moment his feet hit the floor, chills ran cold up and down his spine.

“Aish,” he wrapped his shaking arms around his body. Luckily, he remembered Jin’s statement about the extra blankets, and he was able to turn one of them into a nice cape for him to wear around the house. With that, he trudged to the kitchen and opened the pantry door.

“I deed food.” He sniffled as he eyed the contents of the small room.

Namjoon finally decided on a pack of blueberry muffins, and...

He glanced back at the coffee machine, recalling Jin’s strict warning about the coffee being bad for his stomach. But... Jin wasn’t here soooo....

Namjoon did a sneaky little dance of shuffling over to the machine with a mischievous smirk on his face. When he got there, he took the filter out and there was a small post-it note inside.

“Morning Joonie. I hope you’re feeling some better by the time you read this. I figured you’d come for coffee after I left, so I took all the coffee with me. There’s some tea in the refrigerator that you can warm up for your throat. Remember to rest up, and I’ll see you when we get back.

Ps. If I get home and find out you bought coffee and had it delivered, I will remove our address from every coffee shop record between now and last October. Remember to send your temperature every hour. *hugs*

-Jin”

As much as Namjoon knew that Jin was doing this in his best interest, he really wanted that coffee.

Within the next thirty minutes, he was on the couch with a coffee in hand (thankfully, they delivered). He sipped the beverage happily and took a few nibbles of the muffins he’d gotten from the pantry earlier.

The hot coffee felt great on his throat, and actually helped the muffins to go down easier.

When he’d eaten enough, he checked his phone just to see if he’d gotten any new notifications.

And that’s what he’d forgotten.

11:06 Jin: “how’s that temp bud?”

Okay now he was in trouble. Jin wanted his temperature, but if he gave it to him, his mouth would be wayyy hotter than normal because of the coffee... Then, he had an idea.

11:09 Namjoon: “I’m 99.3. I don’t feel like I’ve got a fever so I think it’s just a little cold.”

Thankfully, he’d remembered that you could take your temperature under your arms too. He meant to wait and see what Jin would say back to him, but he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, and decided to take a shower.

Fifteen minutes later, he came out of the shower feeling a lot better. Jin had texted back saying “good, make sure to stay hydrated and rest.”

He smiled at how caring his hyung was, and then turned his phone down. He thought it was best to go ahead and take a nap while he could still breathe. Maybe his symptoms would even be gone by the time he woke up!

Well, as hopeful as he’d been, he was wrong.

Namjoon woke up at 12:45, with his throat hurting more than ever. His nose was so stuffed, he had to breathe through his mouth, which felt like glass scraping his throat brutally.

On top of that, he had started feeling bitterly cold. A couple minutes passed and he took his temperature.

“101.4” Could be worse but could be better. The only problem was, Namjoon had a tendency to get really emotional when he had a fever higher than 100. This was no exception.

Namjoon’s eyes flooded with tears. He wanted the other members here... he wanted Jin here. But they couldn’t be... they had to work. He desperately wanted them home, but he knew they’d have to finish before they could come back. So, he decided to text them.

12:56 Namjoon: “I’m at 101.4.”

12:56 Jin: “Okay. Are you feeling worse? Or just the fever?”

12:58 Namjoon: “I feel bad Jin... my throat hurts, and my nose is stuffy and I can’t breathe. And my stomach hurts.”

As soon as Namjoon hit send, he regretted it. His stomach was starting to hurt because of that coffee from earlier, but Jin would be furious if he figured that out.

Before Namjoon had the chance to defend himself, Jin had texted back.

1:02 Jin: “That’s what I thought. We’ll be home in a few hours okay Joon-bug? Just lie down and drink water or tea until I get there. There are some fever reducers in the cabinet. Only take one, and then in thirty minutes it should start working.”

1:04 Namjoon: “You’re not mad at me?”

1:05 Jin: “Namjoon, you’re sick. I’m not going to fuss at you even though I probably should. I’m not entirely heartless you know.”

Namjoon wiped a hot tear from his cheek. More than anything in the world, he wanted Jin to coddle him.

1:08 Namjoon: “Please hurry home. I need you.”

Namjoon set his phone down and cried a bit into his crab plushie. He would take fever reducer, but it hurt to move. His muscles ached and his skin was so sensitive that even his pajamas seemed to prick him.

His soft cries tightened in his throat. He was in so much pain. Only one thought crossed his mind:

“Please come home Jin. I don’t want to feel this way alone...”

———-

Jin put his phone back in his pocket. His chest was tight with sympathy. There was nothing he wanted more than to hold Namjoon close and tell him it would be okay.

But for now, he had to push that aside. He had problems that were a bit more pressing...

“Jin Hyung! Have you seen my pants? I can’t find my pants.” Jungkook yelled from the other side of the guest room.

“Jin, my snack bag is gone and Hobi is gonna explode if he doesn’t get a sprite in the next 12 seconds.” Yoongi was scrambling around the room.

“Hyung, have you seen my other earring?” Jimin looked totally lost and Taehyung was trying to help.

“Aish. I’m coming just hang on.” Jin then set off to solve all the problems that had been named off. The interview was in 20 minutes and everything that had been mentioned was nearly life or death.

ESPECIALLY Jungkook’s. He really needed to find pants before he just decided to go on without them. Because, he definitely would if given the choice.

——-

Namjoon had managed to fall asleep.

Jin had rushed through everything as fast as he could, and had quickly thanked the interviewer and called for the bus early.

4:00 Jin: “I’m on my way Joon-bug. Hang in there for me.”

When Namjoon actually fully woke up, he felt a hand on his back. It hurt against his skin, but he hoped that it meant Jin was back. He turned over, and sure enough, it was.

“Grande? You had to get a grande coffee? You’re gonna take out that stomach of yours.” Jin was smiling, which told Namjoon that he wasn’t really upset with him.

“I really wadted it Jin. Like, really really.” He sniffled. His nose was back to running.

“Yeah yeah I’m aware.” Jin popped out a fever reducer pill and grabbed a bottle of water.

“Now take this for me. I’d check your temperature again but just feeling your forehead earlier told me enough.”

Namjoon did still feel chilled, even under three blankets. His throat was sore, and speaking was hard.

Luckily for Jin, this meant he couldn’t protest taking his medicine.

“Alright, open up for me.” Jin placed the tablet on the younger’s tongue and then lifted the bottle of water to his lips. When he’d taken it, he eased Namjoon back down onto the pillow.

“How’s your throat feeling?” Jin asked, taking the leader’s hand in his own.

Namjoon didn’t want to speak so he just shook his head sadly.

“Alright bug. Just wait here, and I’ll go warm up some tea. I’ll probably put a little something in it for your stomach too since I can literally hear it bubbling from the coffee still.” Jin patted Namjoon’s hand and then got up from the bed. He closed the door and started to walk up the hallway.

Namjoon just smiled. Since Jin was home, he knew he’d be better in no time.

[supershinsousimp]

Cats and Boys pt.2

 Warnings: Light Cursing: Hell, Shit.

Reader: Male

Summary: You find out Shinsou is a streamer! You play video games and other things come out of it.

Word Count: 848

     You sat at your desk, boredom setting in. No one ever really came in during your shift, so you always sat and watched the cats or even played with them. You checked the time to see how much longer you needed until your shift ended. Dang it, another 2 hours. There weren’t many people who worked at the cat cafe so you were stuck with a pretty sizable shift but you always had enough time to complete homework.

    After your shift ended, you hurried home, which was only a block away. Your apartment was fairly small but it was homey and that’s how you like it. You opened the door and strode in, immediately going for the couch. You saved Hitoshi’s number into your phone earlier so you could message him when your shift ended. And you did just that. You set your phone aside and went to get a snack, which was always a pocky pack.

    Along with it, you poured a cup of milk. You sat on the couch and placed the items on the table at the end of the couch. You opened a pocky pack and took one out, eating it while taking sips of milk. Your phone buzzed and it was Hitoshi.

Hitoshi 💜: Sorry, I was streaming.  Me: You stream? Hitoshi 💜: Yeah. I stream on Twitch. Me: Nice same Me: You wanna play Minecraft or something?  Hitoshi 💜: Do you have GTA V? I’m playing right now. Me: Of course I have GTA who doesn’t- Me: I play on Xbox Hitoshi 💜: Same, what’s your gamer tag? Me: um- HailGrumpyCat Hitoshi 💜: uh what the fawk 🙂 Me: stfu what’s yours  Hitoshi 💜: ShinsouPlays Me: b a s i c   b i t c h

     You smile, picking up a pocky and eating it before taking everything into your bedroom and placing it all on your desk which you used for studying and gaming. You set all your gaming things up and signed into your Xbox. You typed ‘ShinsouPlays’ into the player search and added him as a friend, then clicking the drop menu labeled ‘join’ and joined his party.       You have a professional gaming microphone and some headphones so it’s a pretty nice setup for gaming and streaming. “Hey Shinsou!” You say in a joyful tone, and you can hear a small laugh from the other man. “Just say Hitoshi, please.” You make a small noise to indicate you hear him. “I will, Hitoshi. Anyway, are we gonna do a heist or just mess with people?” You ask, hopeful you can mess around with people.

     You had just bought two Megalodon cards which were pretty expensive, but it gave you 16,000,000 GTA dollars, and you could buy some great vehicles and mod them for trolling pretty easily. You had some really good trolling expertise and that was partly why you actually had views on your streams. You’re known for the spontaneous events that happen. Like you’ll mean to do one thing but get caught up in something and be forced to do another.       You honestly were the type of person to pester other people going about their business. “We’re gonna mess with people. I’ve watched a few of your YouTube videos too so I know how much you like trolling.” You had a YouTube channel for it, too, and it was also well off with about 2 million subscribers. It was equally as hectic.       “Well, good. I also just bought like 20,633.10 yen (200 USD) worth of money and I need to get some new trolling vehicles and mod them to hell.” You could just tell he was smirking, and you mirrored his expression.  ———————————————————————————————————      You looked at the time. “It’s been 4 hours!? Holy shit!” You yelled, and you heard him laugh on the other end. “Yeah. I guess it has been. You got somewhere to be?” You shook your head but realized he couldn’t see you. “No, I just didn’t expect it to be this time consuming. Most of the time when I’m playing with other people it seems to drag on, I guess you’re just more fun to play with.”       “I know right, I’m better than all those people.” You roll your eyes but smile. “You wanna play a different game now, Hitoshi?” You hear a rustle and you know he nodded. “’Kay, what about Overwatch?”

     Another 4 hours down the drain, but not in a negative way. This was fun, just being here with him. He made it more interesting. You couldn’t wait for the date he had talked about.       “Hey, it’s almost midnight. Maybe I should get off, Hitoshi.” You hear a small groan from the other man. “It’s fine if you want me to stay, I have to shower and stuff though so I thought it’d be good to get off now.”       “No, no, no. It’s fine, you’re just great to play with. You should get some sleep, [Y/N].” You smile at him. “Okay, Hitoshi. Bye.” You do feel bad for leaving, but you have to. “Bye, [Y/N].”  ——————————————————————————————————— Two in one day? I posted the first part at like 1 in the morning and here I am, making another one. I hope you like it!

[somethinginthewayiam]

The universe can be a bitch (Part 1/2)

(this is a continuation of Nightcap)

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x OFC (Anna)

Warnings: slight smut (leading up to part 2)

Words: 6583

Summary: Anna was back on her way to Philadelphia to replace a sick colleague at the Wizard World after her one-night-stand with Sebastian, not knowing what she got herself into and who she would be meeting again at the Wizard World, and most of all, being responsible for there. The three actors from Civil War. Anna sure wasn't ready to face her one-night-stand from the night before, especially when he was now a client and strictly taboo...

a/n: I wrote this after the Wizzard World Convention 2016 and as a follow-up to Nightcap. Hope you like it and let me know if you want to be tagged for Part 2!

a/n:  IMPORTANT! I've never been to a Comic Con or an event like it so I don't really know how it actually works and what's going on there, so please don't judge me and my story on my lack of knowledge. I built up the convention how I needed it for my story and I hope you still like it. Everything I know is from some pictures and videos from people that went there...

tag list:

@himynamebel00​  @melaninromantic @obliviatevamps​

A hammering noise ripped Anna out of her sleep and for a second she didn’t know where she was. She reached over to the nightstand and her hand searched for her phone but it wasn’t there. Somewhere in this room it played her typical wake-up music which clearly didn’t wake her up this time.

The hammering noise resounded again and she finally noticed that someone was at her door. With wobbly feet she got up and wrapped the sheet around her naked body. The next second she remembered why she was sleeping naked, something she normally never did. Sebastian.

His face appeared in her head and a smile came across her face. Someone knocked at her door again. “Oh yeah”, she said to herself and stumbled over to the door. For a second she thought it could be Sebastian and her heart started racing. With a smile she slightly opened the door to get a peek at who was in front of her hotel room.

The corners of her mouth dropped immediately as she saw the receptionist at her door. “I’m sorry to disturb you Miss, but you asked for a wake-up call and didn’t answer the phone, so I wanted to make sure you were alright”, he said and politely looked at the doorframe instead of her body wrapped in sheets. “Oh, yes, thank you”, she said rattled and brushed her messy hair out of her face.

 “What time is it now?”, she asked. “It’s 20 minutes past 6, Miss”, he said and her eyes widened. “What?! Shit!”, she blurted out. “Can you call me a cab, please? I’ll be down in 5 minutes, 10 tops”, she hastily said and ran back into her room to get dressed and pack her suitcase.

“Shit, shit, shit”, she repeatedly said while she collected her clothes off the floor while her phone still played the music somewhere in the room. She finally found it in her purse next to her suitcase. Anna quickly put on her jeans and the shirt from the day before. She collected her things from the bathroom and threw everything into her suitcase.

Anna rushed down to the reception to ask if her cab was already here. “Yes, it is waiting outside for you, Miss”, the man from before said. “Thank you very much”, she said and turned around to leave. “Excuse me, Miss? You still have to pay your bill”, he said. “But the airline is paying for the room”, Anna replied with a bad feeling in her stomach. “The hotel room, yes, but not the drinks from the mini-bar”, he explained.

“How do you even know that? I just left the room”, she asked. “I saw the glasses on the table”, he simply said. “Can I please have your credit card number so we can charge your card when our staff has checked your room?”, he asked. With a frustrated grunt she looked for her wallet in her purse and handed him her credit card. The receptionist gathered all the needed information and then gave back the card.

She quickly ran out to the waiting cab and prayed for low traffic. Anna arrived at the airport just in time to make it to the check-in counter to get an angry look by the airline employee as she checked her in. As soon as Anna had made it through the security check, she went to get a cup of coffee. Now that she had time to sit down for a moment, she realized how tired she was. 4 hours of sleep definitely were not enough but the reason why she had so little sleep was a very good excuse. She stared into the distance and smiled while she stirred in her coffee. Since she had some time left, she decided to go buy a book for the almost 90 minutes of flying she had left until she finally arrived in Philadelphia.

The whole reason she went to Philadelphia was for work. Normally she worked at an event management agency in New York as a hostess for VIP guests. A colleague of her got sick at the first day of the Wizard World Con and Anna had to replace her. She was on her way home from L.A. where her agency had held an event and Philadelphia was a last minute call. Anna had never been to such an event before but her friend Susan from the same agency worked there too this weekend and would help her out if she needed anything.

She didn’t even know which guests she would have to accompany there but Susan would give her all the information as soon as she got there. Anna arrived at her gate a few minutes into boarding and a long line had already formed. With a frustrated huff she took her place at the end of the line. She looked around to see if she could find Sebastian anywhere but since he was in business class, he probably had the early boarding privileges.

When the sign for the seat belt went off, Anna was finally able to go to the toilet. She had to wait in line behind 3 people. For a second she thought about pulling the same trick as on her first flight but the stewardess on this plane seemed to feel very strongly about separating the business class from coach after Anna overheard her talking to another passenger who had asked to go up front for some reason, she wasn’t able to hear why. But that’s when she knew she didn’t even need to ask to go through that velvet curtain.

What would she talk to him about anyways? She couldn’t remember that there was much talking between them last night other than sexual related stuff. Also it kind of seemed pathetic to her to go up to him because it felt like, “Hi, do you remember me? I’m the girl from last night you’ve fucked for two hours straight and then left without even paying for the drinks as you promised.”

Anna shook her head at herself and felt so stupid even considering it. She would probably never see him again and why ruin a perfect night? After she paid a well needed visit to the toilet, she took out the book she bought and started reading it. It took her a few tries to stop thinking about Sebastian and to concentrate on the words she read but after a while she got into the story. Although the book wasn’t that bad, she fell asleep after a few pages and the time flew by in no time.

Anna got ripped out of her sleep as the wheels touched ground and the whole plane shook for a second. As soon as they were allowed to loosen their seatbelts and get up, she grabbed her bag from the compartment box above her head and collected her stuff before she joined the long line of waiting passengers to leave the plane. In order to find the right baggage conveyor belt for her flight, she just followed a few familiar faces from the plane. She walked up to the already moving belt and put down her purse. The few minutes of sleep she had gotten on the plane had wracked her up more than they had helped.

“Hello, beautiful”, she suddenly heard behind her and quickly turned around. It was a bit hard to recognize him with his baseball cap and the ray bans he had put on but it definitely was Sebastian. “Hello”, she replied a bit startled because she thought her chances to meet him again were long gone. “I wanted to come find you on the plane but I fell asleep”, he spoke with a low voice so no one around would hear him. “Don’t worry about it, I fell asleep too”, she said and held an eye out for her suitcase as the first ones started to make their way along the conveyor belt.

They both watched the moving suitcases pass by. “How are your legs?”, he asked and she could hear his smile in his voice even without looking at him. “I’ll get around, thank you”, she replied, still not looking at him. Her crotch was well aware of her activities from last night, but she would not rub it into his face…she did that last night.

“I’d love to stay around a bit longer but I’m already late for work”, he said and shouldered his bag. “Do you only have this one bag?”, she asked, now facing him. “Yes, I’m here just for the weekend”, he said. “Yes, me too…work”, Anna told him and shrugged her shoulders. She felt the need to appear extra casual since she was feeling the complete opposite having him that close to her again.

“Since we’re both here for just the weekend, maybe we could meet up for a drink tonight when you get off work”, he suggested. “I don’t know when that will be, I’m just covering for someone…and I don’t think this would be a good idea anyways”, she said and looked down at her feet. “Maybe you’re right”, he said and although she felt the same, she was a bit sad that it seemed that he felt like that too. “But maybe you’re wrong”, he said and shot her a devilish grin.

She couldn’t help but smile to herself. “How about this? Since we’re both here just for the weekend…if we meet again then we’ll take it a sign that the universe wants us to have that drink”, she suggested. “The universe?”, he chuckled. “You still owe me a drink anyways. So much for ‘my treat’”, Anna said and put the last words in quotation marks with her fingers.

“Oh shit, I forgot to pay for the drinks”, he said, honestly sorry. “Yeah, well, I found out too this morning when they wanted my credit card number”, she said and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I’m so sorry. Now you have to let me make it up to you”, he said. “I thought you’re late for work?”, she asked with a smirk at how he probably wanted to make it up to her.

“Shit, you’re right, I really need to go now”, he sighed after a quick look at the clock on the monitor. “But I’m taking you up on that universe thing. If we meet again, we’ll have that drink”, he said and brushed his shoulder against hers as he leaned over.

Anna watched him walk away towards the exit. She actually was late for work too and she couldn’t see her suitcase anywhere. Just when she thought she had to go to the lost and found counter, she finally saw her luggage come out of the hole in the wall. With fast steps she walked towards her suitcase, took it off the belt and rushed to the exit. She immediately found a cab which seemed like a miracle and traffic wasn’t too bad either.

Anna had no time to go to her hotel first. The cab drove her straight to the Pennsylvania Convention Center where the event would be held. She texted Susan from the cab to come and pick her up at the employee’s entrance since she didn’t have any passes yet to get in.

“I thought you’d never make it”, were the words Susan greeted her with as she waved her past the security guards. “I’m so sorry, it’s a long story but I promise it’s not my fault”, Anna apologized and gave her a quick hug. “I know, I know. Thank you so much for filling in”, Susan said. She knew Anna for a few years now and she had always been the professional, punctual type, so that’s why she believed her.

Susan showed Anna where the rooms and offices for the employees were and handed her the pass with which she could walk around freely at the venue. Anna quickly changed in the toilet from her jeans and shirt to a taupe colored knee-long dress and heels in the same color, something she would normally wear to events she worked at. She brushed her long brown hair and put them up in a light, neat bun. There was just enough time left to refresh her make-up and then she walked out to meet with Susan again.

“So, this weekend you’re in charge of three of our biggest VIPs. Since Christine is sick, you’re the only one experienced enough to handle them”, Susan talked while she walked down a hall. Anna was barely able to keep up. “You’ve got the Civil War fraction, names and info are here”, she said and handed Anna a clipboard with the schedules for panels, photo-ops and signings. “Your guests arrived just a minute ago. I had Amber greet them and bring them to you”, Susan kept on talking. Anna just nodded. “I’m in charge of the other guests from Marvel, so we’ll meet up eventually at some point, but please don’t ask me when”, she said and stopped in front of a big door.

“I know this is your first comic themed convention. It can be a bit much but I’m sure you’ll handle it just fine. Just be your professional self and the weekend will be over in no time…and thank you so much again for filling in”, Susan said, gave her a quick hug and pushed the door open.

It was very loud and a lot of people in amazingly detailed costumes walked around. Anna was immediately fascinated and blown away by it, but sadly had no time to look around any further. Susan directed her to the backstage area for the guests and walked into a room. “This is the room for your guests. You will be coming back here every now and then, when they have a break or waiting for their next session. I’ll be on the other end of the center, so if you need anything, just call me”, she said and was about to walk out again. “And good luck”, she said while closing the door behind her and the next moment Anna was alone.

She took a water bottle from the table full of food and drinks in the corner and took a big sip. It was time to look at the clip board since her guests could arrive any minute. Anna walked over to the couch and sat down. Her shoes hurt her already and she thought they might have been a bad choice in this big center. Maybe she had time in-between her guests’ appointments to go change to more comfortable lower heels.

Anna looked at the printouts of her guests. “Oh Chris Evans”, she said out loud when she looked at the first page. There was a page with a picture and a short bio of everyone. Normally she would have studied them to know about her guests beforehand but today she didn’t have the time to go into detail.

She turned the page to find Anthony Mackie next. She didn’t recognize him, but his face looked oddly familiar, she probably had seen him in a movie before or something. “And my third protégée is…”, she said, but before she could turn the page, she heard voices and steps coming towards the door. Just as she looked up, the door opened and a red-haired girl came in. “This is your dressing room for the next two days. And I would like to introduce you to your hostess for the weekend. She will take care of anything you’ll need and will guide you to your appointments”, the girl said as she stepped in and right behind her, three tall men walked in.

Anna stood up, straightened out her dress and when she looked up again, froze in her movements. “Gentlemen, this is…”, the red-haired girl said but got interrupted. “Anna”, Sebastian said and seemed just as surprised as she was. “Sebastian”, Anna said with big eyes. “You two know each other?”, Chris Evans asked surprised and his eyes wandered between the two of them. “Ehm…yes, we…ran into each other on the plane”, she said, internally panicking.

She made a step towards Chris to greet him, just concentrating on the person in front of her. “Hello, I’m Anna, nice to meet you”, she said and shook his hand, then Anthony Mackie’s and then stood in front of Sebastian. “Hi”, he said, shook her hand and held it a bit longer than necessary.

When Anna took a step back again, she took a deep breath then reached for her clipboard. This was a job, she had to be professional. And a big rule of being professional meant to have no personal relations with your guests, which she had broken already.

“From what I can see, we have a busy day ahead of us”, she said, scraping together all the professional hostess-experience she had. She just had to act like she had not seen Sebastian naked or going down on her between her thighs. Easy…not.

“The first thing today is…”, Anna said and looked at the event schedule. Of course. “A photo-op with Sebastian”, she said and shot a quick look at him before she looked down on the board in her hand again. “We will have to leave for that in about 10 minutes, but before, please help yourselves to some refreshments and settle in. I will be right back”, Anna said with a professional smile and with that the guys spread out across the room.

Before Sebastian could say anything to her, she turned to the girl still standing at the door. “Amber, right?”, she asked and the girl nodded. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”, she asked more out of politeness because she already dragged her out by the arm and closed the door behind her.

“Thank you for bringing them here. I just need to ask you where the hell I have to go for those photo-ops. I didn’t have time to study the maps and I don’t want to embarrass myself”, she said to Amber. Even more than I already did, she added in her head and listened carefully to what Amber told her and wrote everything down on her clipboard.

She actually just needed a good reason not to be in the same room as Sebastian for a moment to understand what just had happened.

When Amber left, Anna flicked through the pages and stopped at the printout of Sebastian. How could she not have known who she had slept with? The posters for the movie were everywhere and it was THE movie everyone was talking about. She felt so stupid. She could really only hope that Sebastian would behave and not make inappropriate comments or something stupid to throw her off. But from what she had experienced so far with him, her hopes weren’t high up.

She walked up and down in front of the door, taking deep breaths and tried to calm herself down. “Everything will be alright. I’m a professional, I am good at my job, I know what I’m doing”, she mumbled to herself, her fingers tightly gripping the clipboard in her hands. “He is just a client, a normal client…”, she tried to convince herself.

Anna looked at her phone and decided that it was time for the first photo-op of the day. She took a deep breath again and opened the door. “Sebastian, they’re ready for you. Please follow me”, she said with a bright, professional smile and held the door open for him. “I will see you gentlemen in about 30 minutes. If you need anything, someone is always around”, she said and waited for Sebastian to walk out and closed the door behind the two of them.

She started walking as quickly as her heels allowed her and from a quick look over her shoulder she saw that Sebastian had no trouble keeping up. “So you’re not gonna talk to me?”, he asked after a few moments of walking in silence. “Only work related”, she replied to him without turning around. “What about the universe and the sign? You’re words, not mine”, he said, his hands held up in a defensive motion and with a smug grin.

He caught up to her and was now walking very closely behind Anna. “That was before I knew you were a client”, she said with a hint of bitterness in her voice. “The universe can be a bitch, huh?”, he asked with a chuckle but before Anna could say anything in return, they walked out to the general area and it was just too loud to talk.

A lot of fans recognized him but he didn’t have time to stop for autographs. Later at his booth he would have enough time to sign their pictures. Anna had to concentrate on the directions Amber had given her but luckily the way was well-signposted and they arrived there just a few minutes later.

A makeup-artist was already waiting for him to make him picture-ready. “Could you take special care of my eyes, I had a long night”, he asked the make-up lady. Although Anna was studying the schedule, she knew he was looking at her when he said it. She just rolled her eyes and concentrated on her work.

Anna saw that dozens of people were already lined-up in front of the booth as she peaked through the black curtain. It amazed her again how much work a lot of them had put into their costumes. Some of them were probably working months in preparation for this weekend and their opportunity to show it to their hero.

She felt a hand on her back and shot back up. “Excuse me, Miss, I have to get to my photo-op or my boss will be mad at me”, he said with an innocent voice and pushed past her way closer than he had to in this wide space. “I’m not your boss, I’m your hostess”, she snapped at him. “Who said I was talking about you?”, he whispered as he stood in front of her. She didn’t know what to say in return and the inhaled air got stock in her throat in lack of a witty answer. “But I was”, he mouthed with a wink as he took a step backwards and turned around just in time to go through the curtain. The crowd immediately started cheering and Sebastian greeted his fans.

The photo session started and Anna was surprised and impressed at how easy-going and relaxed he was with his fans. There was no pose or idea he didn’t do and he made everyone feel like they just had the best idea for a photo. She had to admit that it was very charming and immediately hated him for how adorable he was.

“Sorry for being late”, a big, black man appeared next to her. “I’m the security guard for the Civil War cast this weekend”, he added as he saw her questioning look. “Oh, sure. Hi, I’m Anna, I’m taking care of the Civil War cast for the weekend”, she introduced herself and stuck her hand out. “I’m Melvin, but you can call me Mel”, he shook her hand.

“Is this your first Wizard World or any kind of Con?”, he asked. “What gave me away?”, she asked with a shy smile. “Your shoes. You’re not gonna make it in them for long”, he explained and nodded at her shoes. “I already regret them”, she said and shifted her weight over to her other leg. “Where are you normally working at?”, he kept asking her.

“I’m a hostess for high profile guests in New York, mostly at club openings and vernissages…why?”, she added after she saw his look on her. “Oh nothing, I’m just making conversation”, he said with a shrug. “No, you’re not”, she said suspiciously. Melvin shrugged his shoulders again. “Mel, if we want us to get along on this weekend, you have to be honest with me”, she said with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“You’re a bit overdressed”, he said, looking up and down her dress. She looked down herself. “What’s wrong with my dress?”, she asked insecurely. “It’s way too much. All staff around here is dressed in jeans and a black shirt”, he explained to her. Anna remembered Susans clothes when she’d picked her up just an hour ago. Jeans and black shirt.

She looked around her. The make-up lady, Melvin, the photographer, the woman who controlled the amount of people for every photo. All of them were wearing pants and a black shirt. Shit!

“Great, now I feel weird”, she said with a huff and pouted. “Maybe you’ll find time to change later”, he suggested, also watching Sebastian at his photo session, probably ready to jump in when needed, but everyone behaved perfectly. “I should, shouldn’t I?”, she asked. “Yeah”, Melvin nodded and then they both watch the action in front of them in silence.

A few minutes before Sebastians time was over, she walked back to her assigned dressing room, leaving Sebastian in Melvins care to collect Chris Evans and Anthony Mackie for their photo-ops, which would be held at almost the same time in two separate booths next to each other.

After that they had other photo-ops with all kinds of combinations of the three of them. Then they were waiting for the other Marvel stars that were invited to the convention for group shots

As the four of them stood around behind the photo booth, Anna showed Chris his scheduled appointments on her printouts. “Since those two overlap, I will ask Amber to take Anthony and Sebastian and I will go with you”, she told him. She tried to make it sound casual and perfectly normal to put someone else in charge of Sebastian, and Anthony for that matter.

“Look at that poor woman, you’re boring her”, Anthony said to Chris as Anna unsuccessfully tried to hide her yawn. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t get much sleep last night”, she apologized and avoided to look at Sebastian as she talked. “Oh no, what happened?”, Sebastian asked with an innocent voice. “I had a problem with a little creature keeping me up all night”, Anna said. She as well could play this game.

“Was it a spider? I hate spiders”, Chris said and pulled a face. “Well, I don’t think it was that little if it kept you up all night”, Sebastian countered, looking at her with a cheeky grin and a smug look on his face. “I don’t think they’re talking about spiders, Chris”, Anthony said and started to follow the verbal exchange with growing interest.

“Small enough to be annoying”, she replied and leaned her head to her side, narrowing her eyes that said bring-it-on. “It looks like it still wrecked you up pretty hard”, Sebastian shot back with his arms crossed in front of his chest, still grinning like he was sure that he would win this.

Sebastian and Anna didn’t even realize that Chris and Anthony had stopped talking and were listening closely to their back-and-forth. “It sounds like the two have history…more than just a flight. So wherever they’re going, I’m going”, Anthony said with his hands resting on his hips and a big smile spread across his face.

“We don’t have history”, Anna said determined as she got ripped out of Sebatians stare by Anthonys words. “Well…kinda”, Sebastian said with a devilish grin, his head leaned to the right. “No”, Anna denied it again and shot him an angry look. She looked back down at her clipboard to distract herself. “Oh, I’m definitely going with them”, Anthony said and was grinning like a child on Christmas.

“We’re here, we’re here”, Susan arrived behind the curtain. Behind her Hayley Atwell, Dominic Cooper and Stanley Tucci. “Thank god”, came out louder than Anna had intended. “Okay, we’re not that late”, Susan said with furrowed brows and playfully put her hands up in defense. “No, no…forget it”, Anna said and walked up to her. “I’m…just happy to see you again”, she quickly said.

“How’s it going so far?”, Susan asked her with a lower tone while their guests started to greet each other and get into conversation. “It’s good, we seem to be on time so far, but you know…”, Anna shrugged her shoulders. “Oh, it’ll be just fine. I really gotta say, you got a fine group of men to look after”, Susan said and wiggled her eyebrows. “Really? I didn’t notice”, Anna said and looked down to hide her blushing face. “Are you blind?”, Susan asked with a big laugh which caused a few people around them to look at the two women, including Sebastian. He shot her a questioning look but she ignored it.

“That brown-haired one is really cute”, Susan said and nodded towards Sebastian. “Who? Sebastian?”, Anna asked and blushed again. “Sebastian…a cute name. I like saying his name…Sebastian”, Susan said in a saucy tone. It’s even better when you scream it, shot through Annas mind and she quickly shook her head to get rid of that inappropriate and certainly not helpful comment by her subconscious.

“Does the word ‘professional’ mean anything to you?”, Anna asked her with a pulled up eyebrow. “Oh, I’m just joking, Anna. You know I’m married”, she said laughing and held her left hand up. “Happily?”, Anna asked, also starting to giggle. “I wouldn’t go that far”, Susan said and the next second both of them had to laugh out loud.

“Hey, hey, ladies having fun and I’m not even close by, how is that possible?”, Anthony Mackie came over to the two. “Aren’t you cute”, Susan said. “Well, I try. You’re not too bad yourself”, Anthony winked at her and gave her his best flirting look. “Ooh, I like that one”, Susan said to Anna. “I like you too, darling”, he said and playfully hugged her. The scene was so weird and funny at the same time that Anna didn’t know what to do expect to laugh.

The photographer interrupted the scene when he called for Anthony and the others for the big group pictures.

All in all, the photo-ops of Annas clients took over 3 hours and she was exhausted just from watching them smile and pose all the time. She released everyone for a late and quick lunch break and told them they would meet back at their dressing room in about 30 minutes.

Anna would use this break to change her clothes. She had to admit she felt uncomfortable being so overdressed, she felt like an outsider since this was already her first comic-themed convention. But first she would need another cup of coffee. The lack of sleep was more and more undeniable but she had to have a clear head to keep control of herself around Sebastian. Seeing him with his fans and his friends and how lovely he was with all of them definitely didn’t make him more appalling.

Anna went over to the catering area that was for the guests and employees only, right next to the employees’ area with all the offices. She just wanted to quickly grab a cup of coffee and head back to Susans office, where her suitcase was, to change her outfit.

In the catering area, they had built a little coffee lounge with a bar and places to sit. She had to wait in line a few minutes before she could place her order. While she waited, out of the corner of her eye, she saw that someone was leaning against the bar. Close enough to make her suspicious but leaving enough space to not draw attention to them. This could only mean one thing.

“What do you want?”, she asked with an annoyed voice, still looking for the barista and mentally begging her to hurry up. She just wanted a few minutes alone, time away from him to gather her thoughts and get back into her normal professional work-self, but it seemed that that would be too much to ask. “Hey beautiful”, Sebastian said with a smirk. “I just wanted to say that I’m really happy to have you as my hostess”, he said and he sounded so sincere that she couldn’t help but look at him, just to check if his facial expression would match his tone. “Oh, thank you, that’s very kind of you”, she said and for a second felt like she was doing him wrong all along.

“If you’ve never been to an event like this, there’s so much we could do…or I could do to you”, he said and during the last part, he spoke with a lower and lusty tone, one eye brow raised. There it was again. Just when she thought they could have a normal, work-related conversation, he pulled out his sex voice. And if someone knew what that sounded like then it was Anna.

“I don’t think there’s much left you didn’t do to me”, she said with a low voice, just so no one would hear them. He looked at her with a playful grin before he leaned over to her ear and whispered, “I didn’t do you from behind…yet”. He then pushed himself off the bar and just walked away. Anna was left with a surprised face. “Your coffee, Miss”, the barista said and ripped Anna out of her shocked state.

“Thank you”, she mumbled, grabbed the cup and with quick steps, walked towards the office area. She shook her head in disbelief of what she had just heard and didn’t watch where she was going. The next moment, a young, short woman with short black hair ran into her and pushed the arm Anna was holding her cup of coffee with towards Annas body. The lit of the cup sprung open and the coffee went all over her dress and shoes. “JESUS CHRIST!”, slipped out of Annas mouth as she felt the liquid drain her dress. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry”, the woman said with big eyes and a shocked expression on her face. Anna shook her arms to get some coffee off her.

“It’s…alright, I was about to go change anyways”, she said looking down on the mess this woman had made. “I’m so sorry, I will pay for dry cleaning”, she said and looked like she was about to cry. “Really, it’s okay, don’t worry about it”, Anna reassured her with her arms stretched out to keep her from coming closer and to calm her down. “It’s alright”, she said and patted her shoulder as she walked away with quick steps and threw the now half empty cup into the next trash can.

“Jesus Christ”, she mumbled with an annoyed huff as she felt the wet dress sticking to her body as she walked. She was glad she was alone in that corridor so she wouldn’t get anymore weird looks than she already did out in the catering area.

Anna reached Susans office and stepped in. Her suitcase was in the back corner and she should have a black blouse somewhere in there she could wear and not look so pretentious with her dress and heels like Melvin pointed out. Just as she wanted to bend down to open her suitcase, she heard the door open and close again. Susan must have seen what had happened out there and wanted to check if she needed anything.

“Hey, I’m alright, I’ll be ready in just a…”, Annas words got stuck in her throat when she saw who was standing in front of the closed door. “Thought you might needed some help unzipping that dress”, Sebastian said with a devilish grin and crossed arms in front of his chest.

“What the hell are you doing here?”, she asked surprised and angry at the same time. “I wanted to see if you’re okay”, he said in a normal voice. “It’s coffee, not the end of the world”, she bluffed at him. “I wanted to change my clothes anyway”, she added in a calmer voice, realizing how paranoid and crazy she sounded. Maybe he really just wanted to check on her.

“Then let me help you with that zipper”, he said with a low voice, licking his lips. Or not, she thought to herself.

“You need to leave, this is the staff area, you’re not supposed to be back here”, she told him. Anna walked up to him to guide him out of the door, but with a quick movement he spun her around and pinned her against the door, her facing towards it. He quickly locked it and put his hand up on either side of her head, caging her in her position.

Anna didn’t dare to say something; the sexual tension in the room could be cut with a knife. She felt how Sebastian slightly pressed himself against her, which caused her to close her eyes for a second to calm her breathing, but it didn’t work. Having him that close again triggered something in her that made her want him more than ever. Thoughts about last night spun around in her head, almost making her moan out lout.

She supported herself with her hands pressed onto the door in front of her. For some reason she didn’t dare to turn around.

Sebastian started to slowly unzip her dress in the back all the way down and peeled if off her shoulders. Anna automatically slipped her arms out of the sleeves, so he pulled it down to her waist.

“Did I tell you that I like your hair better when it’s open…more to hold on to”, he whispered behind her and pulled her hair out of the bun and the hair-tie down. Her long brown hair fell down over her bare back and Anna inhaled loudly. “It came up”, she said with a shaky voice and swallowed hard, remembering how he had let down her hair last night in her hotel room. She hated herself that he made her feel that way…again.

“Do you want me to kiss you?”, he whispered next to her ear, pressing himself against her back. She swallowed hard. “Yes”, she breathed out. “Tell me where you want it?”, he asked. She took a deep breath. “Everywhere”, she whispered and moaned out loud as he pulled her head back at her hair with a tight grip until it dropped onto his shoulder. He then started kissing her shoulder up her neck, licking and biting her skin. She sucked her lower lip into her mouth not to make any sound.

His 3 day scruff scratched her skin lightly and gave her goose-bumps all over her body. She intuitively stuck her ass out and met with Sebastians pelvis. Through the fabric of her dress she could feel that this situation also left some marks on him and that mark was poking her right butt cheek.

“I want you”, she moaned out, not able to control what came out of her mouth. Instead of a witty response, he let his right hand slide from her side over to her stomach and down to where the dress was resting on her hips. He stopped only for a second before he let his hand slide under the fabric of her dress down to the waistband of her panties.

Anna pressed herself further against Sebastian to give him easier access. His fingers slid into her panties and he sighed at her neck as he felt how wet she was. “I can feel how much you want me”, he moaned against her skin. Anna instinctively started to grind against his fingers in her pants.

“Sadly, we have to postpone this. We’re still at work, honey”, he whispered at her shoulder and with a sudden movement, pulled his fingers all the way back. Just as Anna wanted to protest, he bit down on her shoulder and left a bright red mark.

“Now we both have a bite-mark on our shoulders”, he said to her with a wink and the next second was out of the office. Anna was standing there, panting heavily and rubbed over the bitten flesh on her shoulder. She thought back to last night when she had bitten his shoulder when she was coming for the third time that night. She hadn’t even noticed that she had left a mark on him but somehow it made her smile. It was kind of arousing to know that he had something that reminded him of their night together.

After a quick look at the clock on the wall, Anna realized that the lunch break was almost over. This little intermezzo had lasted longer that she had thought. She had no time to think any further about it and quickly changed her coffee drained dress and shoes to her pair of jeans and a black blouse that was maybe showing a bit too much cleavage, but she didn’t have anything else. She also changed to her pair of sneakers because she couldn’t walk another feet on heels.

[hwarang-number]

💕 Cool stuff I acquired amidst the SHINee Reunion/Taemin Comeback Craziness* 💕

*but didn't post about because everyone including me was a smidge preoccupied for like 3 weeks 🥴

This arrived a few hours after Taemin's Act 2 Vlive... 🤭

Yes, it's literally a 2min fan compilation from the old days. 🤭😆🥰

One of my favorite US eBay vendors had it for a reasonable price, and I came into this fandom so late that I've literally never seen anything 2min for sale. So I couldn't not! (I haven't watched it yet, but I got a region-free DVD player on Prime Day, so... ☺️)

These (@g-m-kaye 's fairytale-worthy SHINee tarot card prints 😍) arrived the same day, if anyone missed the initial squee. 😁

It was a very good day. 🥰

These were actually two separate purchases from a favorite seller in Japan, who always includes a tiny origami crane with your order. 😁

I've been wanting SHINee in Wonderland stuff since I knew it existed, but it's super-rare at this point in time - a full box (10 packs containing 5 cards each) runs $80-100, if you can even find one, and individual cards sell for upwards of $5 apiece. (I actually tried to get a couple thru auctions, but the bidding ultimately went up to $15-20 apiece, which was way too high, in my opinion.) These were each around $55-65, including DHL 2-day shipping (card packs had been neatly opened, which we knew about, and cards were all present and intact).

Unnie and I are going to split up the cards eventually (between ourselves and Eomma, though she doesn't know that yet! 😆) and each keep one of the boxes. We got a few duplicates, as expected, but we also got most of the ones we really wanted. (And in my humble opinion, the best-looking one in here is the baby. 😍 HANDS-DOWN.)

This arrived the day Minho was discharged, which I decided meant that Jonghyun wanted to be there for the reunion too. 💕

Did I buy this just for "Inspiration"? (Can you think of a better reason?? 🤭) Maaaaybe, in part, but the seller offered me an amazing deal (basically, half the price it usually sells for, and it was still new/sealed), and I'm genuinely looking forward to checking out all the other tracks. It's a positive glut of SM digital-only releases with little hidden gems throughout.

This was one of those eBay listings where you're like, "Did they put the price in right?? 😳" 13 Seeks (Vol 2-14) for $77 (plus a smidge of tax), including 2-day shipping from Japan.

For perspective, I bought Vol 4 by itself awhile back (because hello, it's the SHINee ships issue! 🤭) from a favorite US seller who really likes to match/beat prices, and I think I paid about $28 for it.

The seller had discounted the lot for small damages, but the worst Unnie and I found in here were a few bent corners and scuffs on the binding - very minimal imperfections. The mags are still glossy and the contents are (as far as I can tell) PERFECT. 😍

But the pièce de résistance would have to be:

$65. Including 2-day FedEx from Japan. 😭😭😭

The seller didn't provide many details in the listing, so Unnie thought it might just be the CD/DVD w/ pic cards of the members (she bought a set of similar cards from Kimi no Seide awhile back), but the listing had a ton of hits as soon as it listed, and I knew that if it truly contained everything it looked like (and at that price!), I'd be an idiot if I didn't buy it.

It did indeed include all five member CDs, plus the CD/DVD, and only Jonghyun and Onew's have been opened (and they still have the OBIs in their sleeves).

But best of all the things:

😭💓😭💓😭

(I mean, I would've been sorely tempted to buy this set just for the Jonghyun sticker.)

[bellasharifuddin]

The Day I Became a Mother

It’s been a while since I last post anything here, typing feels awkward as well. But this has always been a thing that I wanted to do since the day I’ve given birth, to document and blog about my pregnancy and my birth journey, so in 4-5 years to come when my memories fade, I can always come back to reminisce every detail that I keep here, like a memory capsule. 

The Day I Found Out I Was Pregnant. 

You know, when people say that when you have a strong intuition about something, trust your gut feeling, because it’s often true. Mirin and I have always talked about having kids, me wanting a baby so much within months after we got married, however, Mirin having second thoughts about it. We were both married for less than a year, sleeping on a toto without a mattress or a bed, living in the deep slum of Wangsa Maju area where the rats are larger than the cats. Hahaha. Naturally, given our circumstances, he’d want to take things slow. 

Fast forward to a couple of months, we went out for some steaks and karaoke on a weekend night. I told mirin to stop by Watsons, for me to buy a pregnancy test kit. Mirin didn’t question much, because occasionally I would randomly buy one, just for fun. But this time, I didnt just get one. I ended up buying three. Why? Because somehow, I had a strong feeling this time. I just felt... weird. It was a feeling that I can’t put it into words. 

We came home at midnight, I went to the bathroom too “pee on the stick”. Then I saw the first line... a few seconds later comes the second one. Oh my god. Okay. I knew Mirin was standing outside the toilet door, waiting. Eventually, I had to break the news to him. When I showed to Mirin, we both ended up hugging and crying. Was I happy? Was I in shock? Was I sad? Yes, a little bit of everything. Its funny that all you’ve wanted was a baby, then when it actually happens, suddenly you’re freaked out. Happy that its a blessing. Sad that it hits you without a warning. 

                                                      Pregnant!

When the morning sickness finally kicked in, I knew we couldn’t live in the current house. Its not the best place to raise a child. And the next-door neighbor was having major renovation that was super loud and noisy. After sleepless nights and searching for a new place, we eventually moved out. Bought our first bed, bought our first dining table, bought our first gas stove. A many of firsts. Soon we finally bought a baby cot from Ikea. We bought it too early. Although it was too early to put it up, but Mirin assembled it anyways. I could tell that he was excited. It was such a fun and exciting moment, for the both of us.

But those were the fun part. Like most pregnancies, the not so fun part about being pregnant was me being diagnosed with Pregnancy Hypertension during my 36th week of pregnancy. My blood pressure spiked up to 140/100 on two consecutive readings, and the next thing I know, that I’m sitting in an ambulance, on my way to Hospital Kuala Lumpur’s emergency building. 

                     At Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting for an available bed

                  Mirin bought me the entire family mart food available xD

I spent 3 nights in their maternity wards, finally discharged after the doctor told me that I was clear to go. While I was in the hospital, it pains me to see new mothers struggling during the COVID19 pandemic. Throughout your stay, no visitations were allowed from anyone including your husband. If your baby cries or if you’re in pain, you’d have figure it out yourself. I remember praying to god while crying that I do not want to be induced there. The ward was stuffy and hot. There were too many people crammed in a room. It was hell. 

The Day That I Give Birth

One week after my discharge, we both went for my monthly checkup with my OBGYN at Pantai. Again, my doctor advised me to be induced tomorrow, since my blood pressure spiked again, and I was almost full term (38 weeks) so it was okay to go. She told me that “It’s best to get the baby out or else you boleh kena sawan” OMG Okay okay. So we packed our bags, ate sushi for dinner, slept soundly for the very last time, and headed to the hospital again at 9 am the next morning. 

                         Induction day. We definitely overpacked haha

       Arrived at the hospital lobby, did a mandatory swab test before entering

Appointment card. Booked and paid for the accommodations prior to checking in

I was told to change into my labor robe (I’m not too sure what it’s called), and waited. When my doctor finally arrived, she then began to insert some sort of a plastic strip deeeeeep into my cervix. Ouch, that hurts. Okay, so that’s how induction works eh? Then I was given antibiotics into my IV drip too, since I was GBS (Group-B Strep) Positive as well. 

                                Toilet selfie! Calm before the storm

After an hour, I felt the contraction. Initially it was uncomfortable, then it hurts like hell. The contractions felt like period pain but like a million times worse. Occasionally, Doctor Haslinda would come and check on my “bukaan”. Hours passed. 1cm... 2cm... 3cm.... when I finally said:

“Omg sakit sangat dah tak tahan, I want an epidural!“

Ok no, that was a lie. I initially didn’t want to take an epidural. I wanted to try and bear with the pain, but Mirin convinced me to take it, so after tossing and turning like a dying fish I finally said okay. 

The anesthesiologist came after what felt like an eternity, and asked me to sign a consent form. I’m not really sure what was written in that. Siapa je ada masa nak baca terms and conditions panjang panjang bila tengah contractions??? 

He told me to sit on the edge of the bed, while hugging a pillow. I remembered him injecting some numbing spray, then I felt the BIG NEEDLE poking through my spine. Then.. that was it. It was so fast. The entire process took only 5 mins. Was it painful as I thought it would be? No. Was it still scary tho? Yep hahaha.

Soon after, Dr Haslinda pecahkan air ketuban when I was 4cm dilated. It didnt hurt because I was on epidural, but I felt so much warm liquid flowing out non-stop. So bizarre. 

Once you’re on epidural, you’re basically bed-ridden. No bathroom trips anymore, my legs feel like jelly. Sometimes the nurse will come to empty my bladder with a catheter. When the epidural kicked in, I could finally sleep. I slept like a baby. I slept for hours. Painless. No more feeling like a dying fish. And so I thought.............

3am. I woke up with INTENSE CONTRACTION PAIN. Why is it so painful? I thought I’m on epidural? I called the nurse straight away. Turned out the epidural drug ran out. It was sooo stressful because the nurse that was on duty that night didn’t know how to topap balik the epidural drug into the machine. She called her colleague, then the colleague also tak tahu. Then both of them spent like forever to troubleshoot how to use the machine, sampai lastly kena call doctor tanya. YA ALLAH, rasa macam nak maki je. 

7am the next day. Bukaan baru 7-8cm. Doctor decided to use another form of induction to speed up the process. It’s called pitocin, and injected through my IV drip. Within MINUTES, I could feel very intense and painful contractions, that the epidural can’t even help. So throughout the remaining 7cm to 10cm, I felt every inch of real labor pain. I clenched Mirin’s hand. So tightly that I think it got bruised. A minute felt like an hour, and an hour felt like years. It was soo bad that my memory was so fuzzy. 

Finally, it was 10cm. Time to go. They put both of my legs up, macam gambar bawah ni haha: 

                                      Picture courtesy from Google

There were two nurses, one small cute Malay nurse, one pregnant Indian nurse, and my OBGYN, Dr Haslinda. I love them all, they were so supportive and nice to me throughout my labor process. My doctor taught me how to push correctly:

“Take a deeeeeeep breath then tahan, clench your fists, chin down and teran macam nak berak sekuat-kuat hati“

I was so determined to get the baby out. I just wanted the contraction pain to end. I did everything they told me to do. I hold on to Mirin’s hand, and PUSHHHHHHHEDDDDDD! I could hear Mirin saying “You’re doing great sayang!” After several pushes, and some sips of water breaks, the baby’s head is almost out. The head was the hardest to push. Besar! I literally felt like my down there was stretching to its limit. Once the head is out, I did another small push, and the rest of the baby’s body macam keluar instantly macam super slimy like that haha. 

Finally the baby is out! 8.26AM! The contractions stopped immediately. I instantly feel like I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The doctor then injected something on my thigh, then my uri just popped right out haha. My body felt so tired, but so so light. Lega, yay no longer pregnant haha. I ended up having second degree perineal tear without an episiotomy, and was stitched. I felt the benang, ngilu. I felt the needle pierced through my muscles too. But it didnt hurt so it wasn’t too bad. 

The baby gets cleaned up. Then soon all of the nurses left the labor room, it was just me, Mirin and our baby. Mirin picked her up, and azankan. Mirin started crying, I cried too. It was magical :’)

We did skin to skin and tried breastfeeding for the first time. As I look at her, hair was so thick. Her cute little fingers. Her beautiful face. She’s perfect. 

                            I slept for 5 hours straight after the labor

Thinking back, I have no idea how I managed to muster such courage to go through all these. Mirin even told me that during the active labor stage, when I was pushing, at one point I pushed so hard that my entire face turned blue. Talk about adrenaline.

Do I want to have another baby? Well, lets keep a rain check on that question for another few more years to come xD

[za3k]

2020 Videogames

In 2020 I’m newly retired, so I’ve had free time. I think it’s fun to do reviews, so without further ado here’s every video game I played in 2020!

I recommend:

(4/5) Among Us – Very fun. It’s only fun with voice chat with friends, so I’ve only gotten to play once or twice. I’ve been watching it more than playing it. Also free to play for mobile gamers–I’m tired of the “everyone buys a copy” model of group gameplay.

(4/5) Brogue. Brogue is an ascii-art roguelike. It’s great, and it has a nice difficulty ramp. It’s a good “quick break” game. I play it in preference to other roguelikes partly because I haven’t done it to death yet, and partly because I don’t need a numpad?

(4/5) Cook Serve Delicious 3. One of the more fun games I played this year. You get really into it, but I had trouble relaxing and paying attention to the real world when I played too much, haha. I own but haven’t played the first two–I gather this is pretty much just a refinement.

(4/5) Green Hell. Price tag is a bit high for the number of hours I got out of it, but I haven’t finished the story. Great graphics, and the BEST map design I’ve seen in a 3D game in a long time. It feels like a real place, with reasonable geography instead of copy-pasted tiles. I love that as you walk along, you can just spot a cultivated area from the rest of the jungle–it feels more like it’s treating me like an adult than most survival games. Everything still gets highlighted if you can pick it up. I played the survival mode, which was okay but gets old quickly. I started the story mode–I think it would be fine, but it has some LONG unskippable scenes at the start, including a very hand-holdy tutorial, that I think they should have cut. I did start getting into the story and was having fun, but I stopped. I might finish the game some time.

(4/5) Hyperrogue. One of my recent favorites. The dev has made a fair number of highly experimental games, most of which are a total miss with me, but this one is fun. I do wish the early game wasn’t quite as repetitive. Failing another solution, I might actually want this not to be permadeath, or to have a save feature? I bought it on steam to support the dev and get achievements, but it’s also available a version or two behind free, which is how I tried it. Constantly getting updates and new worlds.

(4/5) Minecraft – Compact Claustrophobia modpack. Fun idea, nice variety. After one expansion felt a little samey, and it was hard to start with two people. I’d consider finishing this pack.

(4/5) Overcooked 2. Overcooked 2 is just more levels for Overcooked. The foods in the second game is more fun, and it has better controls and less bugs. If you’re considering playing Overcooked, I recommend just starting with the second game, despite very fun levels in the first. I especially appreciate that the second game didn’t just re-use foods from the first.

(4/5) Please Don’t Press Anything. A unique little game where you try to get all the endings. I had a lot of fun with this one, but it could have used some kind of built-in hints like Reventure. Also, it had a lot of red herrings. Got it for $2, which it was well worth.

(5/5) Reventure. Probably the best game new to me this year. It’s a short game where you try to get each of about 100 endings. The art and writing are cute and funny. The level design is INCREDIBLE. One thing I found interesting is the early prototype–if I had played it, I would NOT have imagined it would someday be any fun at all, let alone as amazing as it is. As a game designer I found that interesting! I did 100% complete this one–there’s a nice in-game hint system, but there were still 1-3 “huh” puzzles, especially in the post-game content, one of which I had to look up. It’s still getting updates so I’m hoping those will be swapped for something else.

(5/5) Rimworld. Dwarf fortress, but with good cute graphics, set in the Firefly universe. Only has 1-10 pawns instead of hundreds of dwarves. Basically Dwarf Fortress but with a good UI. I wish you could do a little more in Rimworld, but it’s a fantastic, relaxing game.

(5/5) Slay the Spire. Probably the game I played most this year. A deckbuilding adventure through a series of RPG fights. A bit luck-based, but relaxing and fun. I like that you can play fast or slow. Very, very well-designed UI–you can really learn how things work. My favorite part is that because it’s singleplayer, it’s really designed to let you build a game-breaking deck. That’s how it should be!

(4/5) Stationeers. I had a lot of fun with this one. It’s similar to Space Engineers but… fun. It has better UI by a mile too, even if it’s not perfect. I lost steam after playing with friends and then going back to being alone, as I often do for base-building games. Looks like you can genuinely make some complicated stuff using simple parts. Mining might not be ideal.

(5/5) Spy Party. One of my favorite games. Very fun, and an incredibly high skill ceiling. There’s finally starting to be enough people to play a game with straners sometimes. Bad support for “hot seat”–I want to play with beginners in person, and it got even harder with the introduction of an ELO equivalent and removing the manual switch to use “beginner” gameplay.

(4/5) Telling Lies. A storytelling game. The core mechanic is that you can use a search engine for any phrase, and it will show the top 5 survellance footage results for that. The game internally has transcripts of every video. I didn’t really finish the game, but I had a lot of fun with it. The game was well-made. I felt the video acting didn’t really add a huge amount, and they could have done a text version, but I understand it wouldn’t have had any popular appeal. The acting was decent. There’s some uncomfortable content, on purpose.

(4/5) Totally Accurate Battle Simulator (TABS). Delightful. Very silly, not what you’d expect from the name. What everyone should have been doing with physics engines since they were invented. Imagine that when a caveman attacks, the club moves on its own and the caveman just gets ragdolled along, glued to it. Also the caveman and club have googley eyes. Don’t try to win or it will stop being fun. Learn how to turn on slo-mo and move the camera.

(4/5) We Were Here Together. Lots of fun. I believe the second game out of three. Still some crashes and UI issues. MUCH better puzzles and the grpahics are gorgeous. They need to fix the crashes or improve the autosave, we ended up replaying a lot of both games from crashes. It’s possible I should be recommending the third game but I haven’t played it yet.

The Rest

(3/5) 5D Chess with Multiverse Time Travel. More fun that it sounds. If you play to mess around and win by accident, it’s pretty good. Definitely play with a second human player, though.

(1.5/5) 7 billion humans. Better than the original, still not fun. Soulless game about a soulless, beige corporation. Just play Zachtronics instead. If you’re on a phone and want to engage your brain, play Euclidea.

(3/5) A Dark Room. Idle game.

(1/5) Amazing Cultivation Simulator. A big disappointment. Bad english voice acting which can’t be turned off, and a long, unskippable tutorial. I didn’t get to actual gameplay. I like Rimworld and cultivation novels so I had high hopes.

(3/5) ADOM (Steam version) – Fun like the original, which I would give 5/5. Developed some major issues on Linux, but I appreciate that there’s a graphical version available, one of my friends will play it now.

(4/5) agar.io – Good, but used to be better. Too difficult to get into games now. Very fun and addictive gameplay.

(3/5) Amorous – Furry dating sim. All of the hot characters are background art you can’t interact with, and the characters you can actually talk to are a bunch of sulky nerds who for some reason came to a nightclub. I think it was free, though.

(0/5) Apis. Alpha game, AFAIK I was the first player. Pretty much no fun right now (to the point of not really being a game yet), but it could potentially become fun if the author puts in work.

(4/5) Autonauts. I played a ton of Autonauts this year, almost finished it, which is rare for me. My main complaint is that it’s fundamentally supposed to be a game about programming robots, but I can’t actually make them do more than about 3 things, even as a professional programmer. Add more programming! It can be optional, that’s fine. They’re adding some kind of tower defense waves instead, which is bullshit. Not recommended because it’s not for everyone.

(3/5) A-Z Inc. Points for having the guts to have a simple game. At first this looked like just the bones of Swarm Simulator, but the more you look at the UI and the ascension system, the worse it actually is. I would regularly reset because I found out an ascension “perk” actually made me worse off.

(5/5) Beat Saber. Great game, and my favorite way to stay in shape early this year. Oculus VR only, if you have VR you already have this game so no need to recommend. Not QUITE worth getting a VR set just to play it at current prices.

(1/5) Big Tall Small. Good idea, but no fun to play. Needed better controls and level design, maybe some art.

(0.5/5) Blush Blush. Boring.

(3/5) Business Shark. I had too much fun with this simple game. All you do is just eat a bunch of office workers.

(3/5) chess.com. Turns out I like chess while I’m high?

(3/5) Circle Empires Rivals. Decent, more fun than the singleplayer original. It shouldn’t really have been a separate game from Circle Empires, and I’m annoyed I couldn’t get it DRM-free like the original.

(3/5) Cross Virus. By Dan-box. Really interesting puzzle mechanics.

(4/5) Cultist Simulator. Really fun to learn how to play–I love games that drop you in with no explanation. Great art and writing, I wish I could have gotten their tarot deck. Probably the best gameplay “ambience” I’ve seen–getting a card that’s labeled “fleeting sense of radiance” that disappears in 5 seconds? Great. Also the core stats are very well thought out for “feel” and real-life accuracy–dread (depression) conquers fascination (mania), etc. It has a few gameplay gotchas, but they’re not too big–layout issues, inability to go back to skipped text, or to put your game in an unwinnable state early on). Unfortunately it’s a “roguelike”, and it’s much too slow-paced and doesn’t have enough replay value, so it becomes a horrible, un-fun grind when you want to actually win. I probably missed the 100% ending but I won’t be going back to get it. I have no idea who would want to play this repeatedly. I’m looking forward to the next game from the same studio though! I recommend playing a friend’s copy instead of buying.

(2/5) Darkest Dungeon. It was fine but I don’t really remember it.

(2/5) Dicey Dungeons. Okay deck-building roguelike gameplay (with an inventory instead of a deck). Really frustrating, unskippably slow difficulty curve at the start. I played it some more this year and liked it better because I had a savegame. I appreciate having several character classes, but they should unlock every difficulty from the start.

(2/5) Diner Bros. Basically just a worse Overcooked. I didn’t like the controls, and it felt too repetitive with only one diner.

(2/5) Don’t Eat My Mind You Stupid Monster. Okay art and idea, the gameplay wasn’t too fun for me.

(2/5) Don’t Starve – I’ve played Don’t Stave maybe 8 different times, and it’s never really gripped me, I always put it back down. It’s slow, a bit grindy, and there’s no bigger goal–all you can do is live.

(3/5) Don’t Starve Together – Confusingly, Don’t Starve Together can be played alone. It’s Don’t Starve, plus a couple of the expansions. This really could be much more clearly explained.

(1/5) Elemental Abyss – A deck-builder, but this time it’s grid-based tactics. Really not all that fun. Just play Into the Abyss instead or something.

(1/5) Else Heart.Break() – I was excited that this might be a version of “Hack N’ Slash” from doublefine that actually delivered and let you goof around with the world. I gave it up in the first ten minutes, because the writing and characters drove me crazy, without getting to hacking the world.

(2/5) Everything is Garbage. Pretty good for a game jam game. Not a bad use of 10 minutes. I do think it’s probably possible to make the game unwinnable, and the ending is just nothing.

(1/5) Evolve. Idle game, not all that fun. I take issue with the mechanic in Sharks, Kittens, and this where buying your 15th fence takes 10^15 wood for some reason.

(4/5) Exapunks. Zachtronics has really been killing it lately, with Exapunks and Opus Magnum. WONDERFUL art and characters during story portions, and much better writing. The gameplay is a little more varied than in TIS-100 or the little I played of ShenZen I/O. My main complaint about Zachtronics games continues to be, that I don’t want to be given a series of resource-limited puzzles (do X, but without using more than 10 programming instructions). Exapunks is the first game where it becomes harder to do something /at all/, rather than with a particular amount of resources, but it’s still not there for me. Like ShenZen, they really go for a variety of hardware, too. Can’t recommend this because it’s really only for programmers.

(1/5) Exception. Programming game written by some money machine mobile games company. Awful.

(4/5) Factorio. Factorio’s great, but for me it doesn’t have that much replay value, even with mods. I do like their recent updates, which included adding blueprints from the start of the game, improving belt sorting, and adding a research queue. We changed movement speed, made things visually always day, and adding a small number of personal construction robots from the start this run. I’m sure if you’d like factorio you’ve played it already.

(3/5) Fall Guys – I got this because it was decently fun to watch. Unfortunately, it’s slightly less fun to play. Overall, there’s WAY too much matchmaking waiting considering the number of players, and the skill ceiling is very low on most of the games, some of which are essentially luck (I’m looking at you, team games).

(3/5) Forager – Decent game. A little too much guesswork in picking upgrades–was probably a bit more fun on my second play because of that. Overall, nice graphics and a cute map, but the gameplay could use a bit of work.

(3/5) Getting Over It – Funny idea, executed well. Pretty sure my friends and I have only gotten through 10% of the game, and all hit about the same wall (the first tunnel)

(3/5) Guild of Dungeoneering – Pretty decent gameplay. I feel like it’s a bit too hard for me, but that’s fine. Overall I think it could use a little more cute/fun art, I never quite felt that motivated.

(1/5) Hardspace: Shipbreakers. Okay, I seriously didn’t get to play this one, but I had GAMEBREAKING issues with my controller, which is a microsoft X-box controller for PC–THE development controller.

(2/5) Helltaker. All right art, meh gameplay. But eh, it’s free!

(3/5) Hot Lava. Decent gameplay. Somehow felt like the place that made this had sucked the souls out of all the devs first–no one cared about the story or characters. It’s a game where the floor is made out of lava, with a saturday morning cartoon open, so that was a really an issue. Admirable lack of bugs, though. I’m a completionist so I played the first world a lot to get all the medals, and didn’t try the later ones.

(3/5) House Flipper – Weird, but I had fun. I wish the gameplay was a little more unified–it felt like a bunch of glued-together minigames.

(2/5) Hydroneer. Utterly uninspiring. I couldn’t care about making progress at all, looked like a terrible grind to no benefit.

(1/5) io. Tiny game, I got it on Steam, also available on phone. Basically a free web flash game, but for money. Not good enough to pay the $1 I paid. Just a bit of a time-killer.

(3/5) Islanders – All you do is place buildings and get points. Not particularly challenging, but relaxing. Overall I liked it.

(3/5) Jackbox – I played this online with a streamer. Jackbox has always felt a little bit soulless money grab to me, but it’s still all right. I like that I can play without having a copy–we need more games using this purchase model.

(3/5) Life is Feudal – Soul-crushingly depressing and grindy, which I knew going in. I thought it was… okay, but I really want an offline play mode (Yes, I know there’s an unsupported single-player game, but it’s buggier and costs money). UI was pretty buggy, and I think hunting might literally be impossible.

(2/5) Minecraft – Antimatter Chemistry. Not particularly fun.

(3/5) Minecraft – ComputerCraft. I played a pack with just ComputerCraft and really nothing else. Was a little slow, would have been more fun with more of an audience. I love the ComputerCraft mod, I just didn’t have a great experience playing my pack I made.

(3/5) Minecraft – Foolcraft 3. Fun, a bit buggy. Honestly I can’t remember it too well.

(1/5) Minecraft – Manufactio. Looked potentially fun, but huge bugs and performance issues, couldn’t play.

(4/5) Minecraft – Tekkit. Tekkit remains one of my favorite Minecraft modpacks.

(3/5) Minecraft – Valhelsia 2. I remember this being fun, but I can’t remember details as much as I’d like. I think it was mostly based around being the latest version of minecraft?

(4/5) Minecraft – Volcano Block. Interesting, designed around some weird mods I hadn’t used. I could have used more storage management or bulk dirt/blocks early in the game–felt quite cramped. Probably got a third of the way through the pack. I got novelty value out of it, but I wouldn’t have enjoyed it if I had ever used the plant mod before–it’s a very fixed, linear progression.

(5/5) Minit. This is a weird, small game. I actually had a lot of fun with it. Then I 100% completed it, which was less fun but I still had a good time overall.

(3/5) Monster Box. By Dan-box. One of two Dan-box games I played a lot of. Just visually appealing, the gameplay isn’t amazing. Also, Dan-box does some great programming–this is a game written in 1990 or so, and it can render hundreds of arrows in the air smoothly in a background tab.

(3/5) Monster Train. A relatively fun deckbuilding card game. It can’t run well on my computer, which is UNACCEPTABLE–this is a card game with 2D graphics. My MICROWAVE should run this shit in 2020. Ignoring that, the gameplay style (summon monsters, MTG style) just isn’t my cup of tea.

(2/5) Moonlighter. Felt like it was missing some inspiration, just didn’t have a sense of “fun”. The art was nice. The credits list is surprisingly long.

(2/5) Muse Dash. All right, a basic rhythm game. Not enough variety to the game play, and everything was based around perfect or near-perfect gameplay, which makes things less fun for me.

(3/5) NES games – various. Dr Mario, Ice Climbers. Basically, I got some Chinese handheld “gameboy” that has all the NES games preloaded on it. Overall it was a great purchase.

(2/5) Noita. “The Powder Game” by Dan-Box, as a procedurally generated platformer with guns. Lets you design your own battle spells. Despite the description, you really still can’t screw around as much as I’d like. I also had major performance issues

(3/5) Observation. I haven’t played this one as much as I’d like, I feel like it may get better. Storytelling, 3D game from the point of view of the AI computer on a space station. I think I might have read a book it’s based on, unfortunately.

(2/5) One Step From Eden. This is a deck-building combat tactics game. I thought it was turn-based, but it’s actually realtime. I think if it was turn-based I would have liked it. The characters were a bit uninspired.

(1/5) Orbt XL. Very dull. I paid $0.50 for it, it was worth that.

(4/5) Opus Magnum. Another great game from Zachtronics, along with Exapunks they’re really ramping up. This is the third execution of the same basic concept. I’d like to see Zachtronics treading new ground more as far as gameplay–that said, it is much improved compared to the first two iterations. The art, writing, and story were stellar on the other hand.

(3/5) Out of Space. Fun idea, you clean a spaceship. It’s never that challenging, and it has mechanics such that it gets easier the more you clean, rather than harder. Good but not enough replay value. Fun with friends the first few times. The controls are a little wonky.

(1/5) Outpost (tower defense game). I hate all tower defense.

(3/5) Overcooked. Overcooked is a ton of fun.

(4/5) Powder Game – Dan-box. I played this in reaction to not liking Noita. It’s fairly old at this point. Just a fun little toy.

(1/5) Prime Mover – Very cool art, the gameplay put me to sleep immediately. A “circuit builder” game but somehow missing any challenge or consistency.

(2/5) Quest for Glory I. Older, from 1989. Didn’t really play this much, I couldn’t get into the writing, and the pseudo-photography art was a little jarring.

(4/5) Raft. I played this in beta for free on itch.io, and had a lot of fun. Not enough changed that it was really worth a replay, but it has improved, and I got to play with a second player. Not a hard game, which I think was a good thing. The late game they’ve expanded, but it doesn’t really add much. The original was fun and so was this.

(3/5) Satisfactory. I honestly don’t know how I like this one–I didn’t get too far into it.

(4/5) Scrap Mechanic. I got this on a recommendation from a player who played in creative. I only tried the survival mode–that mode is not well designed, and their focuses for survival are totally wrong. I like the core game, you can actually build stuff. If I play again, I’ll try the creative mode, I think.

(3.5/5) Shapez.io. A weird, abstracted simplification of Factorio. If I hadn’t played factorio and half a dozen copies, I imagine this would have been fun, but it’s just more of the same. Too much waiting–blueprints are too far into the game, too.

(2.5/5) Simmiland. Okay, but short. Used cards for no reason. For a paid game, I wanted more gameplay out of it?

(0.5/5) Snakeybus. The most disappointing game I remember this year. Someone made “Snake” in 3D. There are a million game modes and worlds to play in. I didn’t find anything I tried much fun.

(1/5) Soda Dungeon. A “mobile” (read: not fun) style idle game. Patterned after money-grab games, although I don’t remember if paid progress was actually an option. I think so.

(4/5) Spelunky. The only procedurally generated platformer I’ve ever seen work. Genuinely very fun.

(4/5) Spelunky 2. Fun, more of an upgrade of new content than a new game. Better multiplayer. My computer can’t run later levels at full speed.

(1/5) Stick Ranger 2. Dan-box. Not much fun.

(3/5) Superliminal. Fun game. A bit short for the pricetag.

(3/5) Tabletop Simulator – Aether’s End: Legacy. Interesting, a “campaign” (series of challenge bosses and pre-written encounters) deckbuilding RPG. I like the whole “campaign RPG boardgame” idea. This would have worked better with paper, there were some rough edges in both the game instructions and the port to Tabletop Simulator.

(4/5) Tabletop Simulator – The Captain is Dead. Very fun. I’d love to play with more than 2 people. Tabletop simulator was so-so for this one.

(2/5) Tabletop Simulator – Tiny Epic Mechs. You give your mech a list of instructions, and it does them in order. Arena fight. Fun, but I think I could whip up something at least as good.

(3/5) The Council. One of the only 3D games I finished. It’s a story game, where you investigate what’s going on and make various choices. It’s set in revolutionary france, at the Secret World Council that determines the fate of the world. It had a weak ending, with less choice elements than the rest of the game so far, which was a weird decision. Also, it has an EXCRUTIATINGLY bad opening scene, which was also weird. The middle 95% of the game I enjoyed, although the ending went on a little long. The level of background knowledge expected of the player swung wildly–they seemed to expect me to know who revolutionary French generals were with no explanation, but not Daedalus and the Minotaur. The acting was generally enjoyable–there’s a lot of lying going on in the game and it’s conveyed well. The pricetag is too high to recommend.

(0/5) The Grandma’s Recipe (Unus Annus). This game is unplayably bad–it’s just a random pixel hunt. Maybe it would be fun if you had watched the video it’s based on.

(3/5) The Room. Pretty fun! I think this is really designed for a touchscreen, but I managed to play it on my PC. Played it stoned, which I think helps with popular puzzle games–it has nice visuals but it’s a little too easy.

(3/5) This Call May Be Recorded. Goofy experimental game.

(4/5) TIS-100. Zachtronics. A programming game. I finally got done with the first set of puzzles and into the second this year. I had fun, definitely not for everyone.

(3/5) Trine. I played this 2-player. I think the difficulty was much better 2-player, but it doesn’t manage 2 players getting separated well. Sadly we skipped the story, which seemed like simple nice low-fantasy. Could have used goofier puzzles, it took itself a little too seriously and the levels were a bit same-y.

(2/5) Unrailed. Co-op railroad building game. It was okay but there wasn’t base-building. Overall not my thing. I’d say I would prefer something like Overcooked if it’s going to be timed? Graphics reminded me of autonauts.

(2/5) Vampire Night Shift. Art game. Gameplay could have used a bit of polish. Short but interesting.

(4/5) Wayward. To date, the best survival crafting system I’ve seen. You can use any pointy object and stick-like object, together with glue or twine, to make an arrow. The UI is not great, and there’s a very counter-intuitive difficulty system. You need to do a little too much tutorial reading, and it could use more goals. Overall very fun. Under constant development, so how it plays a given week is a crapshoot. The steam version finally works for me (last time I played it was worse than the free online alpha, now it’s the same or better). I recomend playing the free online version unless you want to support the author.

(1/5) We Need to Go Deeper. Multiplayer exploration game in a sub, with sidescrolling battle. Somehow incredibly unfun, together with high pricetag. Aesthetics reminded me of Don’t Starve somehow.

(2/5) We Were Here. Okay 2-player puzzle game. Crashed frequently, and there were some “huh” puzzles and UI. Free.

(3/5) Yes, your grace. Gorgeous pixel art graphics. The story is supposed to be very player-dependent, but I started getting the feeling that it wasn’t. I didn’t quite finish the game but I think I was well past halfway. Hard to resume after a save, you forget things. I got the feeling I wouldn’t replay it, which is a shame because it’s fun to see how things go differently in a second play with something like this.

These are not all new to me, and very few came out in 2020. I removed any games I don’t remember and couldn’t google (a fair number, I play a lot of game jam games) as well as any with pornographic content.

2020 Videogames was originally published on Optimal Prime