#i actually kinda like radiodust guys

[anonymouscheeses]

traumatize me‼️

I can't traumatize whats been traumatized.

Anyways have this.

[zaebeecee]

Hi Zae! Okay, so like ... I'm only saying this because it's been on my mind for a while ... And I just saw something, and it just hit me, and I'm on anon because like, I just have something to confess and it has something to do with Hazbin Hotel's voice cast and it's kinda harsh and I don't want people to think I'm mean, but like ... okay. So? That whole like sketch about "How Allosexuals treat Alastor" and your post about "Allosexuals breaking in and knocking over the plants? I can't stop thinking about it because I've felt like this is *EXACTLY* how Alastor's own (Allosexual) voice actors tend to treat him and talk about him though? And like, they maybe even set a precedent for this behavior? And it's annoying? Like, I love Amir but one thing I will say in Bosco's favor is that Bosco seemed to lean into to the "fan service" aspect a bit more than Amir does and I even noticed that like, um okay so like, in the little clip that goes around of Blake discovering RadioDust for the first time, Amir just kinda gives off this little "disappointed parent oh no no face"? Like he doesn't even wanna entertain the thought? But then he kind of gives in and is like "okay, I guess...:" when other cast members started talking positively about it, but he originally looked for a split second like he was about to scold someone or give a little lecture or something and to me that was just like: "My guy, I love you but at least Half of this fandom was built on RadioDust fanservice for the past five years, know your history! What are you doing???" Anyway, what I'm getting at is that sometimes, when I see the "allosexual breaking into your house and knocking over plants post, I want to reblog it and just be like "This is Amir Talai, though." And then I feel sort of bad. Should I feel bad? I don't think I can watch any Hazbin Hotel Cast clips on youtube without being lowkey annoyed anymore. Like, of course I still love them but I don't know...

Oof. Yeah, my friend, I totally get where you’re coming from. And this is just my personal opinion/reflection on the topic, but I feel like this is a case (with Amir personally) of having absolutely zero fandom experience of any kind before taking on the role that he did, as well as what happens when an allo who knows nothing about being ace tries to stay true to an ace character.

tl;dr because I kind of tend to ramble: I really think all we can do is speculate, since we don’t actually know Amir; but also, I don’t think you should feel bad about having a negative reaction to an allosexual speaking over ace people about an ace character, even if he is the voice actor and seems to be a decent person.

First off: no. I don’t think you should feel bad about looking at that and going “Amir Talai though”. It’s the energy he’s putting off, and it’s not your fault that it’s his actions that are pulling that response out of you.

I think Amir has, ultimately, good intentions when it comes to portraying Alastor as accurately as possible. But judging by his past tweeting and the (admittedly hilarious) list of things he’s had to Google since becoming Alastor’s voice, it’s very clear that he does NOT understand what fandom is all about. And he does seem to genuinely be trying! The Zoom call with Blake is particularly telling for all of them, because Amir was very “oh fuck” and Blake was very “OMG DID YOU KNOW THIS WAS AN OPTION??? :D” when, like you said, RadioDust kept the HH fandom alive for four years. Clearly, none of them actually dove into the fandom prior to the project, and I’m hoping that further exposure to the fans might help. As long as they’re not the same as the “we’re going to bully Joel Perez because we hate Valentino” people.

(Also, on Amir’s reaction there, I have no idea if it was “but Alastor is asexual and shipping him is BAD” or if it was “Blake what are you doing bringing this up now people are gonna get mad”, which… with certain people, particularly that very mean vocal minority in the HuskerDust community, is a valid concern. But he and Blake seem extremely close, so I’m not sure Blake would have put him on the spot publicly if he knew Amir would have a genuine negative reaction. But idk, this is all speculation on people I’ve only seen in panels and stuff like that.)

With Amir being allo… I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, because he has publicly apologized for misrepresenting Alastor’s ace spectrum in the past which does suggest that he’s listening to people, but it’s really on him to actually talk to asexual people so he has examples of real experience to draw from. So many people think that asexual automatically means sex repulsed and aromantic automatically means romance repulsed, and because of that, I can understand why Amir came into this with those assumptions. But since he IS so dedicated to the fans and he genuinely loves playing Alastor and wants to be as true as possible to him, he needs to stop looking at asexuality from an allosexual perspective. I haven’t seen anything at all recent from him on the subject, so his perspective could have changed?

But I don’t think you should feel bad about having a negative reaction to the way he’s choosing to react to ships. He is speaking over ace people, whether he realizes that he’s doing that or not, and that isn’t okay. And honestly, having that negative reaction is a good way to call attention to the problem, because if he knows the ace umbrella community has a problem with his black and white perspective on this, I think he’s more likely to listen to us. If part of your hesitation is that you like Amir (which, admittedly, is part of mine), it’s genuinely okay to like a voice actor in general and still be mad at them/criticize them for an aspect of their character interpretation, because ultimately Alastor is our representation, not his. And it matters more if a demisexual/grayaro wants to depict Alastor as their type of aspec than how an allosexual thinks asexuality should be.

On a related note, my husband and I are taking a RadioDust cosplay to a convention later this year, and both Amir and Blake are going to be there, so we’re hopeful we can tell both of them that we’re both aroace spectrum, married, and huge devotees of the ship (both because we’d like to help reinforce the fact that Blake himself is on board the ship and because Amir desperately needs help). idk if it’ll do anything but maybe it’ll at least get him thinking more critically about it.

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

I find Amir's interpretation of Alastor actually lacking a lot of nuance. Al's just kinda...chaotic for the sake of chaos to Amir, it seems? And like, he is. Alastor is very much an anarchist who fucking hates any status quo on principal, but he's also a sadist and an all around psychopath. He lost a lot of his edge, during the process of Amazon and the series, so I guess I can't blame Amir for that one. But Al is creepy. And not just because he's a spoookky radio guy, he spends the entirety of Inside Of Every Demon Reprise openly insulting and emotional manipulating Charlie, dragging her along and groping her while also sexually assaulting Vaggie. Alastor sucks, I LOVE HIM, but the guy's evil. Amir seems to have a very Morally Gray Weirdo view of him, and not like, Literal Serial Killer Pretending To Be Normal For A Few Weeks Before He Kills You.

I 100% understand the sentiment he had, but Amir's response to radiodust being, "No." "Ships are wrong and bad, Al is ace." Just...feels bad to me.

Everyone throws fits over Viv saying "hey maybe let people ship what they want and stop harassing each other" and somehow interpreting that as like, acephobia?? Somehow???? I get we don't get much rep, and I'm sex-repulsed, and sex-neutral on a good day, so I get maybe feeling like your representation is being overlooked for shipping. Asexuality IS A SPECTRUM, its an umbrella term like queer and trans can be.

But 1: Al is just ace. He doesn't even know he's ace because he doesn't have the language for it. So until in canon and on screen, we get Alastor saying what genre of asexual he is, y'all can't be claiming he is or isn't sex-repulsed. And 2: HE ISN'T REAL. You can't disrespect him, because he ain't an actual person will feelings. You can however be disrespectful to ACTUAL LIVING IRL ACES. Policing other peoples asexuality because it doesn't fit in your fake asexual character is just...rude? Weird. Also mean.

Amir is like, an old ass guy who barely understands half the shit people are saying to him on twitter. And I'm sure his, and probably Viv's view of asexuality is what most people's view of asexuality is, which is just viewing it as the Absence of sexuality and not its own entire thing. A lot of people, especially nowadays trying to be more inclusive of queer identities add ace characters just kinda as like, flavor? Without a whole lot of depth other then Doesn't Fuck™. They're not particularly unique for thinking about asexuality in this reductive kinda way.

I genuinely think Edward's flirty, manipulative asshole version of Alastor is a more nuanced depiction of Al's asexuality. Al flirts to either fuck with Ashley(and by Al I mean Ed), or to fuck with/mocking Angel, or he's not even flirting he's just threatening someone but in a sexy voice. (even if he also made Al kinda sexually naive in a slightly patronizing way, but for bit, ig. Kinda funny that he doesn't know what a stripper pole is but definitely understands that the way Angel uses straws is Whore Behavior)

ANYWAY, the point of this post is that if you're a radiodust porn artist there's a very good chance Blake has seen it and gone " ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° hot, no?". Do what you will with this info

[tinywafflerat]

ships I support cuz I forgot to mention

I’m rating it on a scale from 1-5: 5 being “soulmates” and 1 being “platonically cute” (0 stars is illegal/hate it with all my heart) (❤️ are my favorite ships)

————

TADC SHIPS

————

Ragatha x Pomni (mainly because of @ask-the-rag-dolly, literally my favorite ask blog ever)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ragatha x Pomni x Jax (mainly because of @ask-funnybunnydoll… yeah I really like ask blogs) (idk I like the idea of them taming Jax somehow)

⭐️⭐️

I love you ask-the-rag-dolly and ask-funnybunnydoll (RIP <33) !!!

Ragatha x Princess Loolilalu (lesbians. am I right)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Ragatha x Princess Loolilalu x Pomni (solution to ship wars? Make it poly)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Zooble x Gangle ❤️ (YES.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jax x Caine (I actually have no idea but the ship art is cute)

⭐️⭐️

Gummigoo x Jax (ok. You know what? They’re meant for eachother)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Gummigoo x Chad x Max (THE LADS)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Gummigoo x Chad ❤️ (chad is too cute ok)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Gummigoo x Orbsman (crackship time!!! they kinda have the “divorced dads” vibe)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Martha x Princess Loolilalu ❤️ (more lesbian. yes)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

————

HAZBIN HOTEL SHIPS

————

Angel Dust x Husk (I love gays. I mean guys. I mean these two are my favorite characters so I kinda have to ship them If you know what I mean)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Charlie x Vaggie ❤️ (canon ships wooooo)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Charlie x Vaggie x Emily (the dynamic just works)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Adam x Therapy (real)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Alastor x Lucifer (idk it’s kind of funny.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Vox x Alastor (I only ship gay people. anyways I like one-sided or mutual)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Vox x Velvette x Valentino (polyamory is the solution to ship wars)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Valentino x A Terrible Death <33 (BEST SHIP IN THE SERIES. 1,000,000/10)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

————

MURDER DRONES SHIPS

————

V x Uzi (IM SORRY!! YURI IS LIFE)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

N x Uzi x V (how to fix shipping wars = make it poly)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

N x Thad (worker drone x murder drone is the best ship)

⭐️⭐️

————

MISC.

————

(cult of the lamb)

Narinder x Lamb (I’m not sorry. Narinder deserves it.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Goat x Lamb ❤️ (CO OP. AND DURING PRIDE MONTH)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(ramshackle)

Stone x Skipp (they were boyfriends from the start ok.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(friday night funkin)

Pico x BF (play softmod.)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(trolls)

Viva x Barb (I find Yuri in everything don’t worry)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

(memes)

Those two guys from Friendpilled Visitmaxxer (they’re made for eachother)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

(Indigo park)

Lloyd x Rambley (argue all you want. toxic yaoi)

⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mollie x Salem (toxic yuri I’m so so sorry)

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

————

ships I don’t like (no hate to the people who ship these!!)

————

TADC SHIPS

————

any ship with kinger (besides with Queenie) (it’s the age gap)

(0 stars)

Jax x Pomni (I don’t hate this one, but I don’t like it. Classic main female character with main male character. )

⭐️

Gangle x Jax (No. just no.)

⭐️⭐️

Ragatha x Jax (same as above, but worse… honestly not that bad but like.. ehh..)

⭐️

Ragatha x Gangle (I’m all for yuri but they have too different personalities)

⭐️⭐️

Pomni x Caine ( there’s too much suggestive stuff under this tag, and once again a classic main female character + somewhat(?) main male character. I’m disappointed.)

⭐️

————

HAZBIN HOTEL SHIPS

————

Alastor x Charlie (NONONONONONONONO.)

⭐️

Alastor x Angel Dust (please. no. they have no chemistry at all. none. nada. nothing.)

⭐️

Lucifer x Adam (like radiodust, people only ship it because of 1 suggestive line)

⭐️

————

MISC.

————

(Indigo Park)

Lloyd x Salem (1. they don’t know eachother and 2. clashing personalities)

⭐️

————

Once again, please no hate to me or people who ship these characters!!

[onhigh-aa]

anonymous   :   Kinda sucks you won't ship with other Alastors, seems a bit of a waste.

Ahh, yes. The inevitable “weehhh exclusives” ask!

Guess I’ll avoid beating around the bush this time. My shipping RadioDust exclusively with @diistortion​ is for multiple reasons; (1) we’ve been writing Angel and Alastor together for about a year before I put Angel on tumblr, (2) we’ve established a history between them that spans back before either of them have died, (3) Luke and I are actually partners and we know each other’s boundaries VERY well, and (4) my shipping with other Alastors is out of Luke’s comfort zone (and frankly, vice versa, I don’t think I’d be very comfortable with Luke shipping his Al with other Angels either).

Also, like. This is MY blog. I’m here to write what I want to write, that’s literally why I put Angel on tumblr. I’m not going to apologize for my personal preferences and I’m not going to change them just because Some Guy™ hiding behind an anon doesn’t like them.

There are PLENTY of other Angel Dusts for you to ship with if you want. And it seems like most of them are way more down to write n.sfw than I would ever be.

[itsyaboykay]

so i woke up to the whole ordeal with it being confirmed that alastor is aro/ace and i wanna put in my two cents before i return to my regularly scheduled bullshit:

on the positive side, i like that he’s aro/ace! it’s nice to see rep as an aro/ace person and i already connected real well to alastor being ace since he’s the first character i’ve been actually comfortable expressing my asexuality through like... ever

on the downside, tho, there’s gonna be a lot of fallout from this info being thrown out there and i’m kinda upset about the illustrator/artist revealing it in the way they did on stream. people already were weaponizing alastor’s asexuality to attack people for shipping him with angel (cause “lulz ya can’t ship the ace guy with the slut ya filthy animal” 🙄) and now that’s just gonna make people double down and attack shippers even harder

the silver linings i can come up with tho is that there’s still a chance for alastor to change and for development to happen to his character. the show hasn’t even started yet, after all! yeah there’s a lot already in stone behind the scenes, but there’s still changes being made as time goes on, so don’t lose hope that something can still change.

the other thing is that, hot take but: aro/ace is a fucking spectrum. SHOCKING I KNOW. not every aro/ace person is gonna be the same in how they see things and what they like. think of it as one person who’s really into brunettes/brunets versus another person that prefers redheads! it’s similar to that. we know alastor is touch averse, but there’s still a lot of possibilities, guys. don’t close yourself off so easily and let people spout off a definition just to try and control you and what you like. fandom is supposed to be fun and if someone is gonna hate you and shit on you for what you prefer, block em. it’s not cowardly in the slightest to curate your own online space so fuck anyone that tries to control you and straight up block on sight. don’t give them the time of day or even acknowledge them cause no matter what they’re gonna continue to attack and just feed off the attention from any and all answers you give them. 

so stay safe guys, happy shipping, and you’re all valid no matter how you wanna ship cause it’s fiction and fandom is meant to be for fun, not activism

sincerely, an aro/ace radiodust shipping asshole

[just-honey-dewd]

My Personal Desires for Hazbin Hotel

I decided to make this a separate post for this. I credit @smilesthroughfandoms for inspiring me to write this hefty load. (Also, don’t worry about me Smiles, I’m slowly fixing my sleep schedule as we speak.)

First bunch of plot-related episodes of Hazbin showcasing Charlie making failed attempts at trying to redeem patrons by teach them moral philosophies, before having it addressed to her (like a reality check episode maybe from her mom) that she can’t expect to teach demons moral philosophy when she herself was never on earth to learn it through experience and exposure

She addresses this to the gang, and goes on to say they should probably take a break from trying to run this hotel, and it shows as a defining character moment for her cuz she legit tells em that she can’t hope to redeem demons if she doesn’t have her own basis of what’s right and wrong, the way they must’ve had (which also gives way to a potential route of making her openly acknowledge how alien she is compared to everyone else in the cast, who one way or another, used to be human, and used to live on earth. and this could gradually escalate as the series goes on)

They take a break, they still offer themselves up as a hotel for those that still were staying in, and for a couple of episodes, everything’s relatively chill There are two plots, plot A is anything kinda character-driven/dynamic-between-fun-characters/action-packed. Plot B is either villains pov, world-building following minor main characters, or sometimes a focus on Charlie being kinda lost on the whole morals and earth thing, and going up to all her friends individually to try and get their perspective or what they learned from their time on earth (basically one of openings for showing hints if not full on origins)

I think if they were to try anything for the origins of the characters, it’d be most enduring if we get small hints and suggestions; enough for fan speculation, but not enough to make a bold accurate conclusion

Origins of more important main characters shouldn’t be treated as though they are above other main characters. Or at least, it shouldn’t be obvious that the climax to a season would be the reveal origins of Alastor or Angel, etc

They should all be treated equally, and be given roughly the same amount of time, care and thought when writing/unveiling the truth and/or complexities of their backstories. So if there were any big reveals of revelations regarding certain characters, the audience won’t be able to easily pick it out because there were no prolonged moments where the show basically hammers it into their heads that “X has known Y’s secret since Z“

I hope if they go down that path where they write the origin episodes to tell specifically Charlie only, it’s to kind of make her feel more isolated and inhuman because she can’t relate to that aspect of themselves, and she could never discuss origins of (ex. Alastor) to anyone else, because he probably would only spill his origins to a character he’s known since forever, and/or her.

But if they go and have the origins stories be revealed to the gang, I hope it’s to bond them together as friends, but then have the knowledge of a character’s origins influence the gang’s attitude and personality cuz that can cause internal conflict (and cuz that’s natural imo). Have it be hypocritical and mildly unjust because a character (maybe prolly Charlie) said “Don’t be afraid to be your true self around us, we won’t let the past change who you’ve been to us all this time.“

Just some good and well-earned angst tyvm, and the formula: origin stories = some character development (could be bad or good)

Plot-related episodes get blended in well with the more comedic, character-dynamic establishing episodes, and the antagonist interventions (where we get to see their struggles so they make for engaging bad guys)

Additionally; casual interactions with characters that are friends with the main cast, to make it seem they’re oh-so close  

For some lighthearted early episodes, have the villains not yet establish a reason to antagonise the main characters, so they could meet the main characters casually with mostly no bias (depending on the character and his/her status)

Basically episodes where the villains just go to the happy hotel for their own unique, but still dishonorable reasons. And they interact and deal with some variations of the main cast (maybe some aren’t there, maybe they’re not themselves at the time). The thing that makes em antagonistic could be a single character (maybe Alastor’s the sole reason Vox is a main antagonist), a naysayer/horribly awful person (like that news woman who probably hates Charlie’s guts), something to do with hell developments outside of the effects caused by main characters and/or the show’s environment (happy hotel).

For the comedy-driven episodes, try and prioritise world-building, building up the complex relationships between characters, and just normal development for the hotel’s popularity or literal condition

Depending on the type of show they’re going for, they could try establishing the level of absurdity and grounded reality they may have in this fictional world

Comedy might be best as B-plot for all I know, but I hope the comedy takes advantage of the introduction of new characters, and keeps the meeting lighthearted as the show can be

And please, please have the comedy range in variety. I can only take so much of Angel’s crude sex jokes in one episode. Angel’s personality being capable of consisting of the phrase “into making crude humour“ is not a good thing.

Have more characters display their own unique sense of humour, don't let Angel carry the quipage in an episode, I know he's the most verbal one in the group, but please... at least limit him to a few sex jokes, if not, give him more to say other than dirty jokes. Not dad jokes though, cuz they wouldn't sound fit with him. Maybe just dark humour?

Also, I think comedic episodes of Hazbin hotel have the potential for being good for fanservice. There’s stuff like; Charlastor material, RadioDust material, anything that’s definitely not gonna happen in canon but can be humored for like an episode. (ex; Maybe a ball that Charlie has to go to cuz compulsory, but it’s hosted by homophobes who don’t allow guests to choose partners of the same sex, so Alastor offers to take her. And they mostly just trash the party for it’s douchy policies and it’s more comedy than with shipping potential.)

It’s actually fitting in the tone of the show too, cuz this show ain’t going to do fanservice canonically, cuz this is a story that takes place hell. So in a way, we as the audience suffers cuz life is hell, and not everything (if anything) will come out how you want it.

[anonymouscheeses]

Favorite rarepair ever. Like ever. Excluding chaggily but idk if that counts since it's actually pretty big for a poly ship 😭 but anyway. I got this idea from a acc I follow on TikTok. And omfg they have STOLEN my heart. I hope ppl love them jst as much as I do bcuz LAWD I'm in love

They kiss. Like all thr time

I love being an artist 🤭

U cannot tell me that snake doesn't have ASSSS

Sad how Husk's hair was SNATCHED when he sold his soul to Alastor. Gave it back! 😍

Also Charlie being a supportive wingwoman lmao

I didnt know how much I would love the freaking hat. It's so fun to draw no wonder Viv added it to the design even if it's such a distraction for me when watching the show.

[zaebeecee]

To Sever a Loveless Bond

••RadioDust Soulmate AU••

Part 20/?

First chapter | Previous chapter | Next chapter

Read on AO3

•••

Well, this took longer than intended. Y’all have no idea how much I love all of you and how grateful I am for your patience.

CW: implied cannibalism, electrocution, more Valentino-typical physical abuse, Stolas talking legal talk

•••

“The fuck you mean, he’s gone?”

“I mean he’s gone.” Niffty shrugged at Cherri, not sure exactly how else she should have phrased it. Cherri and Husk were both staring down at her, clearly riding the emotional high that had been building during their (inevitable) fight, and Niffty thought they both looked like they’d had a rug pulled out from underneath them. It would have been pretty funny if Niffty wasn’t feeling so concerned about Alastor. “I went to his room and he isn’t there.”

“Who’s gone?” a man’s voice called from above them. Niffty looked up to the balcony, where those two married imps were looking down at them with concern.

“Alastor, apparently,” Cherri called back.

“Alastor’s gone?” Arackniss called, from the other side of the lobby.

“For fuck’s sake, yes, Alastor is not in the building!” Husk said in a loud voice that was as close as he ever got to yelling. Niffty watched both Millie and Moxxie look back behind them as Charlie, way down the second floor hallway, yelled something muffled that Niffty couldn’t understand (but was probably a question asking if Alastor was gone).

Everyone gathered in the bar area, Charlie descending the stairs two at a time in a little leaping run that was one of the few goat-like quirks she ever showed. Once she reached the bar, Charlie held her hands out, palms down, and looked around at all of them. “What happened?”

Immediately, Cherri and Husk looked at Niffty, and everyone followed their lead. She blinked a couple of times, not used to having this level of undivided attention from people. “…uhm. Well, I— Cherri said I should keep an eye on Alastor,” she said, pointing at the other sinner.

“Yeah, to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid!” Cherri said, before turning to the princess. “Blitzø and Vaggie went to take Angie’s contract to that prince. I thought it would be a good idea to make sure Alastor didn’t fuck anything up.”

“He wouldn’t—” Charlie began, almost like a reflex, before she amended, “We don’t know he’s… doing anything he shouldn’t be doing. He could be… y’know…” She trailed off under the weight of Husk’s withering stare, clearing her throat instead. “Niffty, how do you know he’s gone? Did you see him leave?”

“No,” Niffty said. “But I know he isn’t here.” She looked pointedly at Husk, who abruptly glanced away from her. “Right?”

“…” Husk closed his eyes, sighing. “…she’s right.”

Charlie looked between the two of them, her expression torn. “…okay. Okay, I’ll trust the two of you. So… if he isn’t here, where is he?”

“He’s probably goin’ to VoxTek,” Arackniss said from his perch on the corner of the bar.

Almost immediately, Charlie did a double-take, like she hadn’t even realized he was there. “…what?”

Arackniss frowned at her, folding two of his arms on his bent knees (how he was able to make crouching in a suit look badass, Niffty couldn’t understand). “When I was gettin’ Tony’s contract outta Valentino’s office, Valentino came in, mutterin’ some shit about Alastor. I dunno what he was doin’, but he got somethin’ outta his desk and made some kinda remark about darin’ the Radio Demon to ignore him now. I figure he did somethin’ to bait the guy into goin’ out there.”

Cherri looked at him. “So the fuck do we do?”

“I don’t think none of us are in a position to stop an angry overlord from pickin’ a fight with three other overlords, exceptin’ the princess here,” Arackniss allowed, nodding towards Charlie.

“That would… not be a good idea,” Charlie said, twisting her fingers together nervously. “Plus, I’m not actually allowed to interfere with overlord disputes until they start getting out of hand. Alastor has every right to fight the Vees if that’s what he wants to do, it’s how the overlord system works.”

“So we can’t do anything?” Niffty asked, staring up at Charlie and feeling the distress mounting inside her at the idea of not being able to help Alastor.

Almost immediately, Charlie knelt down and placed her hands on Niffty’s shoulders. “Hey hey hey,” she said in a soothing voice. “It’s okay, Niffty, I promise we’ll think of something.”

“We need t’ wait for Blitzø t’ get back,” Millie said, looking at Moxxie. “It… it won’t take that long for Prince Stolas t’ find a loophole, will it?”

“If there is a loophole,” Moxxie said, a little pessimistically, before he added, “Of course, if Valentino wrote it himself, I don’t think that will be a problem. He seems pretty…”

“Stupid?” Arackniss supplied dryly.

“Yeah, basically.”

“If he got one of the other two to write it for him, it’ll be a bigger problem,” Husk said. “But Valentino’s vain and an idiot, I wouldn’t be surprised if his pride didn’t let him.”

Niffty sniffled, rubbing her hand underneath her nose. Read the room, Noriko. “What do we do if Prince Stolas doesn’t find anything?”

“Then we’ll figure something else out,” Charlie promised. “We aren’t just going to leave Alastor and Angel on their own. Okay?”

Niffty didn’t feel any better, but she nodded anyway. “…okay.”

As they all split off to discuss whatever their next moves were, Husk looked down at her, his frown softer than it had been. “…hey, Niff. Wanna reorganize the bar supplies?”

Niffty stared up at him, blinking. “…you never let me behind the bar.”

“Yeah, for good reason.” When he stopped there and didn’t withdraw the question, Niffty nodded hesitantly, and he waved her back. “Okay. Come on, before I change my mind.”

Niffty almost smiled as she scampered back behind the bar, ready to take Husk’s absolutely nonsensical organizational system and make it reasonable. It wasn’t a perfect distraction, but it was something, at least. And at this point, she was grateful for anything.

•••

Hell had an extremely complicated caste system, when you tried to figure out how power was distributed and what territories and domains in this place actually were. Back when Vaggie had been an exorcist, learning the intricacies of Hell’s hierarchy, she had it emphasized to her time and again that no one besides sinners were to be harmed. Because of this, she had been given only cursory information on the Hellborn that dwelt outside of the Pride ring; she knew the names of the Princes and their domains, of course, as well as what the Goetia were and the names of a few key members of their nobility. Outside of that, she had been taught very little, and as her time in Hell had been mostly devoted to doing what she could to keep Charlie out of trouble, she felt no more prepared for meeting a Goetian prince than she would have when she first arrived in this place.

Prince Stolas, Vaggie knew, was the only notable child of King Paimon and kept watch over the movements of stars and planets as his domain. It was a prophetic position, some said, or at least as close to prophetic as anything could possibly be; that kind of power made Vaggie nervous.

Blitzø didn’t seem to have that same problem.

“How do you know a Goetian prince again?”

“It’s a long fucking story,” Blitzø said unhelpfully, his eyes on the high stone wall that surrounded the property of the manor house that sat a short distance outside of Pentagram City.

“But he’s a friend of yours,” Vaggie guessed, one eyebrow raised as she watched the imp begin scaling the wall.

Blitzø made a noise that was somewhere between a scoff and a grunt of effort. “I wouldn’t go that far.”

“Uh-huh. Why aren’t we going through the gate?”

“Because,” Blitzø said, grabbing onto the top of the wall, “I am an imp, you are a nobody, and we are not supposed to be trespassing on Goetian royal grounds in the middle of the night. Besides, he’s in the middle of a divorce and his harpy of a wife might be keeping tabs on the building and I don’t wanna deal with the bullshit drama that’d follow if that’s the case.” He hauled himself up, crouching on the stone. “It’s fine, this is how I alw—shit…!” The last word came out as a squeak as he lost his balance, toppled over the wall, and landed in what sounded like some plants.

Vaggie sighed, then crouched and leaped up, landing on the top of the wall. She looked down at where Blitzø was gracelessly detangling himself from a plant that looked suspiciously like it was either trying to cuddle him or eat him. “Need help?”

“I am a very capable young woman.”

“Wonderful.” She jumped down, landing silently on the grass and waiting for him to roll out of the foliage. While he uttered a long string of curses, most of which Vaggie had never heard before, she examined the house. It was so… weird, how much even Hellborn architecture looked like shit that she could have easily seen in life. Demon or not, even she could tell this guy was absolutely loaded.

But I guess it wouldn’t be Hell if it didn’t have rich people.

Blitzø stumbled up next to her, brushing soil off of his coat. “Okay, all good. See that balcony?” he asked, pointing up and drawing her eye to a large stone platform jutting out of the wall, beyond which she could see two open doors that led into a dark room.

“…we’re not breaking into his bedroom, are we?” Vaggie asked as they darted across the lawn as quietly as they could.

“No, of course not,” Blitzø said, taking hold of the trellis and grinning at her. “The door’s open, we’re just walking in.”

Vaggie resisted the urge to groan as the imp began scaling the trellis with impressive speed. “I see why your employees always seem so pissed at you,” she hissed before she began following him up.

The bedroom beyond the balcony, while dark, looked… grand, but kind of gloomy. Vaggie thought it looked like a place you’d hole yourself up in during a bout of depression, naturally just making the depression worse. Blitzø crossed the balcony to the open doors, leaning in and knocking on the wood door frame a couple of times. “Stolas,” he hissed, knocking again. “Hey. Stols. Are you awake?”

Stols? Vaggie thought with a frown. He’s given a Goetian prince a nickname but claims they’re not friends?

From the bed, she heard a quiet groan, followed by a soft muttering, and finally a shriek as four glowing red eyes opened. “Oh my stars!!”

“Whoa!” Blitzø came a couple of steps into the room, holding his hands out. “Whoa, whoa, chill, Stolas, it’s just me!”

“Bl… Blitzy…?” a smooth and somewhat foppish tenor asked curiously, almost disbelievingly. Blitzy?? The lamps flared to life at once, and Vaggie winced, shielding her eye from the sudden light. When she opened it again, she saw an extremely tall, owl-like demon tying a silk robe closed and smoothing down the feathers on top of his head. “Whatever are you doing here? It… it isn’t—”

“It isn’t about that,” Blitzø said before Vaggie learned whatever ‘it’ was. “…oh, right. Stolas, this is Vaggie, Princess Charlie’s girlfriend or whatever.”

“Oh!” Stolas was now staring at her, his eyes wide. “I— I see— hello,” he said, brimming with awkwardness. Vaggie just nodded, feeling that awkwardness herself. “So… um… if it— if it isn’t…” He cleared his throat, then straightened himself into what seemed an attempt at a more dignified posture, the effect somewhat ruined by his robe and still-ruffled feathers. “What is it, then? It must be important, if you would come out here in the middle of the night.”

There was a lot hiding in that sentence, but Vaggie could only feel the weight of the implications; she didn’t understand the tension in the room, or why Blitzø was showing the first signs of caution that she had seen from him. His head was tilted down just slightly, though he maintained eye contact, and his tail sharply lashed behind him in quick and agitated, but brief, movements. “I need to ask you to… do something for me,” Blitzø said, after what sounded like a lot of thought.

“Of course,” Stolas said, surprise flickering across his face for a moment.

“You’re good with contracts, right?” Blitzø asked. “Fizz told me you helped Ozzie out when he had that kidnapping incident.”

Stolas stared at him for a long moment, and Vaggie thought he looked surprised… or, perhaps, like he was processing something. “…I… did provide assistance to Lord Asmodeus, yes. You require help with a contract?”

Blitzø didn’t address the obvious question—namely, why are you referring to the Prince of Lust so casually—and instead pulled out Angel’s contract from inside his coat. “I need to know if there’s a loophole in this.”

Stolas took it carefully, but he didn’t open it right away. Instead, he said, “…both of you, come with me.” He then turned, walking to the door and out of the room without bothering to make sure they were following.

Vaggie caught the way Blitzø rolled his eyes, a movement so quick she wasn’t even sure he was aware of doing it, as they both followed the Goetian prince out the door and down the hallway. The whole place felt so hollow and cold, lacking a sense of warmth that Vaggie believed was the most important thing to making a place a home. It didn’t help that all of the portraits had been covered with white cloths, as well as what looked like statuary and other decor.

Blitzø seemed to notice that, as well, and it appeared to be unusual enough for him to comment on it. “…what’s up with the fabric?”

“Hm? Oh,” Stolas said, his voice flippant and disinterested. “The household is relocating to another building.”

“…you’re moving?” Blitzø asked, surprised.

“I suppose you could call it that,” Stolas said. “This place is, after all, still technically the property of my father. With Stella gone, there is no one to object, and since Via has reached her own age of majority, it shouldn’t interfere with her affairs either.”

“…ah,” Blitzø said, like he wasn’t sure what else to say. He did, however, whisper to Vaggie, “I don’t blame him, Paimon’s a dick.” Vaggie bit down on her tongue to stifle a surprised snort of amusement, but Stolas didn’t appear to be listening anyway.

They followed him through a set of double doors and into something like a library with a planetarium model set into a recess in the ceiling, hanging low enough to dominate the upper half of the room’s visual real estate. Stolas went to the desk and sat, opening up the contract and beginning to give it a cursory once-over. It wasn’t long before he spoke again. “…ah, Blitzy, darling?”

“Mm,” Blitzø answered, his back to them as he looked around the room.

“Would you care to tell me why, precisely, it is that you are in possession of Angel Dust’s soul contract with the Vees?”

“Long story,” Blitzø said. “And I’ll explain when I have more time, but long story short, I promised the Radio Demon that I’d get you to look at it for some kind of loophole in exchange for him not eating my entrails while alive.”

Stolas opened his mouth, but no sound came out, and he just stared at Blitzø’s back. When the imp didn’t continue, Vaggie spoke, drawing the prince’s attention. “Angel’s been… kidnapped isn’t really the right word,” she said. “But he’s being held at VoxTek, and that’s a really big problem for Alastor for reasons I don’t feel prepared to go into. Plus, he’s… y’know. He’s our friend. We were hoping that you might be able to find a way to get his contract… broken, or invalidated, or something so that Valentino can’t force him to stay there anymore.”

Stolas’s expression softened a little. “…I see.” He turned to the contract again, frowning faintly. “This contract is quite old. Decades. That’s… highly unusual, for a sinner soul contract.”

Vaggie raised an eyebrow. “…is it?” she asked. “I thought making a contract for your soul was usually permanent.”

“If a living human makes a deal with one of the less scrupled Hellborn, that isn’t uncommon,” Stolas said. “But all overlords in Pentagram City hold soul contracts. Typically, they’re comparable to indentured service; a sinner contracts their soul to an overlord in exchange for a benefit for the duration of the contract, and in exchange, the overlord becomes the sinner’s… employer, you could say. Normally, the overlord will either set a length of time or a monetary value, and the contract will be over when either the allotted time has passed or the sinner has repaid the set value.”

Vaggie frowned. “…what does Angel’s contract say?”

“Well… according to this, the value of his soul is… open for reevaluation,” Stolas said. “Which suggests that the price could be modified an indefinite number of times to prevent the contract from ending.”

Vaggie’s frown deepened. “…that doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s quite an unfair contingency,” Stolas agreed. He then sighed. “You two should make yourselves comfortable. You may look at any of the books I have if you would like, but it might take me a while to locate a weak point in this text.”

“Thank you,” Vaggie said, turning away and pulling out her phone. She fired off a quick text to Charlie, letting her know that Stolas was looking for a loophole, and then wandered over to the bookshelf for want of something else to do.

It had already been a long night, and it didn’t look like it would be over any time soon.

•••

When the alarm first flared to life, Angel was asleep.

It wasn’t a sound sleep by any means. It wasn’t restful, and it certainly wasn’t peaceful. How he had managed to drift off, he wasn’t precisely sure, but his dreams were strange and obtuse and filled with odd symbolism that left him with no specific memories, only an aching sense of cold dread as he was jarred into wakefulness. For a long moment, he had no idea where he was; his first thought was his own bed, with some bizarre siren going off somewhere in the hotel, and his second thought was that he was in— someone else’s.

But the first one didn’t feel right, and even in his hazy state, he knew the second was no longer possible.

The vague scent of smoke and static burn in the air, coupled with the electric blue accent lighting cutting through the darkness, immediately set Angel right. I’m in VoxTek. But he had known that, of course, because that was where he was always going to be now. At least he had been left to his slumber on the couch, a small mercy that he was more than willing to embrace at this point.

The alarm blared again, and Angel looked up, finally fully registering what it meant; something was attacking the building. “What the fuck…?” Far below, he heard the sounds of breaking glass and screaming, and it was getting steadily closer, like whatever was happening was climbing throughout the station.

Angel didn’t hesitate. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t stay put or go seek somewhere safe, but he vaulted off the couch and bolted from the room in nothing but the sweater he had been allowed to stave off the chill. The sounds were still below him, so he headed for the stairwell, jumping down a flight at a time until it sounded close enough that he headed through the doors into the hall and down towards one of the filming studios. Angel shoved his way inside and into the huge, darkened room, dodging equipment until he reached the center and looking around quickly.

Apparently, he had come into the main newsroom, Katie Killjoy’s very particular set preferences still in place from the filming likely done earlier that evening. There was no one there now, of course, but the room was set up for the next morning, cameras still in place and sound equipment ready to be fired up. But there was nothing else, no sign of anything that was causing that much noise and panic throughout the building. It was so close, though, so Angel knew it couldn’t be far. He saw the doors on the other side of the studio, and had just started moving when he heard a loud and heavy thud against the wall.

Angel gasped, staggering backwards as whatever it was crashed against the wall again, then again, cracks appearing and plaster raining down until the entire thing broke. Angel watched a large, spindly hand reach out and grab the broken edge of the wall, sharp claws digging gouges as the hand tightened its grip and leveraged the rest of the body inside.

It was something Angel had only seen once, when Mimzy had led her loan sharks to the hotel; but back then, Alastor had only grown as large as he felt he needed to, and he had been somewhat jubilant in his violence. But the figure that clawed its way into the studio was much larger, and so, so very angry.

“…Alastor…” Angel whispered, watching as the monstrous and savage form of the Radio Demon dragged itself out of the wall and swept a camera out of its way with an impatient hand. If he stood up to his full height, his antlers would have dug into the studio’s ceiling, said antlers grown sharp and tangled like an angry bramble plant. Blood dripped from his teeth and down his chin, staining his claws and spattered all over his face and coat. His eyes looked at once sharp and completely unfocused, radio dials twitching and flicking madly against the deep black of his sclera. Angel knew that Alastor could have killed him without a thought, but that wasn’t on his mind as he ran forward. “Alastor!!”

Instantly, that giant and terrifying face swiveled on a too-flexible neck to stare at him, eyes unblinking and furious grin stretched wide enough to show rows of brilliant green stitching at the corners. He didn’t immediately strike, however, dropping onto his hands and knees as Angel approached. An animalistic noise, something between a growl and a hiss, was the only sound he made as he lowered his head to stare at the spider demon.

If Angel was sane, he would have run. Alastor was one of the most dangerous entities in the entire Pride ring, an overlord infamous for the simple rumor of devouring other overlords. But Angel knew he couldn’t have possibly been sane, because he didn’t stop until he collapsed onto his own knees right in front of the Radio Demon, breathing hard from exertion and the still-present panic waking up to the blaring alarm had caused. Alastor’s growl was a low rumble deep in his chest that felt like it shook the studio floor, and Angel slowly looked up, staring into those terrifying eyes as their dials shivered in preparation to start spinning again.

Angel was good at not letting himself think, and that was what he did as he raised two of his hands and cupped Alastor’s monstrous face as best he could. “Alastor,” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears. The Radio Demon’s skin felt oddly cold to the touch. “You weren’t supposed to come here.”

Alastor didn’t speak. Angel wasn’t positive he even could in his current state. His only answer was another growl, but even as the sound rumbled through the studio… slowly, gently, he leaned his head into Angel’s hand. His breath was labored and smelled like he might have eaten half of the employees downstairs, but Angel couldn’t make himself care. Tears fell freely as he stroked Alastor’s cheek, the growl turning into something closer to a purr.

Angel wanted to ask Alastor what the fuck he was doing there, what he was planning, what he was thinking, but he didn’t get the chance. Before he could open his mouth, he felt something familiar and hot and sharp around his throat just before his body was violently yanked backwards with a jerk hard enough to lift him entirely off the ground before he hit the concrete and began sliding across it as he was dragged. Immediately, the very little calm Alastor had found was gone, and he screamed, rearing up onto his feet again and flexing his claws.

Angel smelled Valentino before he felt him, the overlord seizing his hair and yanking him upwards without releasing his chain. “That worked better than I could have hoped,” Valentino said quietly, and he sounded much too smug and way too calm for someone who had the full attention of a furious Radio Demon. But Valentino didn’t run. He wasn’t even trying to defend himself.

Alastor began charging across the studio, knocking cameras and lights out of his way, sparks flying through the dark and casting brief, deep shadows across his face. Angel gasped sharply as Alastor reached out towards them, but he stopped, another scream escaping him… but this one was a shriek of pain. Beneath it, Angel heard the loud buzz of electricity and the hiss of burning flesh, and he saw flashes of electric blue light backlighting the Radio Demon in enormous flickering bursts. So strong was the surge that the sounds of electric thrumming throughout the building, always present at VoxTek, cut out with a dying whir as the entire building lost power. Angel screamed as best he could with the shackle still limiting his air intake, but he couldn’t do more than struggle against Valentino’s hold as Alastor collapsed to the floor with a heavy thud and the occasional bright spark of lingering static. Slowly, he began shrinking again, his body resuming its usual size and shape without his consciousness to maintain his shift. The emergency lights along the floors flickered and then came to life, casting their eerie blue glow across the scattered and ruined film equipment.

“Well,” Valentino said into the sudden empty silence, one that felt heavy and oppressive with the lack of any electronic noises at all around them. “That was certainly exciting.”

Footsteps echoed off the studio walls, and Angel tore his eyes from Alastor’s unresponsive form to the only source of illumination in the entire room besides the emergency lights. Vox’s face looked… passive, but annoyed, a sure sign that he was containing unbridled rage while in a public part of the building out of sheer force of habit. Behind him, Angel heard a soft and irritated murmur before a cell phone flashlight came on, Velvette following along behind him and casting around to examine the damage. “Good job on that, boys,” she observed. “So chuffed you decided to piss off the Radio Demon, we had far too much of the building intact for my liking.”

Vox didn’t look at her; his focus seemed split entirely between Alastor and Valentino. Between the glow from his face and from the floor lights, Angel could make out his arm as he reached up and flexed his hand, thick and heavy electrical cables pulling free from Alastor’s body with a sharp jerk that sent blood arcing through the air in their wake. Angel realized that must have been how Vox knocked him out; Alastor had been so enraged he hadn’t even noticed that Vox was there until the massive black cords had buried themselves into his flesh to deliver VoxTek’s entire electrical supply straight into him.

“Val,” Vox said, his voice clearly struggling to maintain its control. “What. The fuck. Did you do?”

Valentino didn’t seem bothered by Vox’s obvious rage. He released Angel’s hair, but not his chain, and the spider collapsed to the floor at Valentino’s feet as that chain kept him anchored in place. “Exactly what you wouldn’t,” he said easily. “And it worked, didn’t it? Something finally encouraged Alastor to enter VoxTek.”

Vox’s facial graphics glitched briefly as his lip curled. “We wanted him to come here,” he said, before he gestured around sharply with one thrown out hand. “We didn’t want him fucking destroying everything! We’re lucky the goddamn building didn’t collapse on top of us, Val!”

“You got what you wanted,” Valentino said with an odd air of coldness that Angel wasn’t used to hearing him use with Vox. “And look, he’s incapacitated and my pet is in one piece. Looks like we both win, doesn’t it?”

Vox looked at him, his left eye twitching a couple of times. “…you cannot comprehend how badly I want to kill you right now.”

“But you won’t,” Valentino said, yanking Angel back to his feet. “You never do.”

“Wait,” Angel pleaded, as Valentino grabbed him by the upper arm. “What are you going to do to him?!”

Vox looked at Angel as though only just registering his presence. “That isn’t your concern.”

“Fuck you!” Angel yelled, yanking against Valentino’s grip ineffectually. “I won’t let you hurt him!!”

Vox actually smirked. “I don’t think either of you are in any condition to dictate anything.”

“Alastor!!”

Valentino’s grip tightened and he pulled, throwing Angel across the room away from Alastor. He landed on his back with a sharp cry, cracking one eye open and shoving himself backwards as Valentino advanced on him. “I have been so incredibly lenient with you, amorcito,” he snarled. “But it seems you didn’t learn anything from your last punishment. I think it’s time to rectify that.”

Valentino struck him across the face so hard his lip split and his vision blurred, Angel hitting the concrete floor again. He could just see Vox using cables to lift Alastor’s body from the floor before Valentino filled his vision again, grabbing him and hauling him up, and Angel wondered if he was ever going to see Alastor again.

He wondered if he was going to see anything at all after Valentino was done with him.

•••

Vaggie had a very bad feeling.

When she had been alive, she’d tried to chalk up those bad feelings to simple Catholicism-induced superstition, always treating them like nothing even when she was well aware that ignoring those feelings always led to something terrible happening. Since dying, however, she had learned that those feelings… they weren’t something to ignore.

She had them in Hell not infrequently, of course, since… well. It was Hell. But she still knew that, even in a place like this, she couldn’t just ignore it.

Concentrating on Stolas’s book collection, fascinating as it was, proved more and more impossible as time crawled on. Vaggie turned to pacing and checking her phone at a rate of roughly twice per minute, knowing that wouldn’t help anything or make things go faster but unable to stop herself. She felt like she was about to go insane when Stolas’s voice finally broke the silence. “Miss Vaggie, was it?”

Vaggie’s head shot up and she pivoted on her heel, approaching the desk. “Yeah. Yes,” she corrected, reminding herself that she needed to be polite here no matter how impatient she was feeling.

Stolas didn’t look at her, his eyes still on the contract. “You said Angel Dust is a friend of yours, so I trust you know him quite well. You are a resident at the Hazbin Hotel, correct?” Vaggie made an affirmative noise. “And I remember hearing that Angel Dust, too, moved into that place. Your… resident celebrity.”

“Yeah,” Vaggie said with a frown. “Why?”

“How long has he lived there?”

“I… guess about… nine months, now?” Vaggie guessed. The change in the extermination schedule had thrown off everyone’s perception of time.

“And how long has it been since he was taken back to VoxTek?” Stolas asked.

“Less than two days.”

Stolas nodded, then turned the contract, pointing to part of it… particularly a word that Vaggie didn’t know. “Much of this contract contains some extremely archaic language,” Stolas said. “It seems as though, in a bid to make it as iron-clad as possible, Valentino pulled from old Goetian tradition rather than simply relying on sinner terminology.”

“What does that mean?” Vaggie asked, wishing (not for the first time) that she hadn’t dropped out of high school to work when she was a teenager.

“It means that this contract is non-standard, but this clause here is the relevant portion,” Stolas said. “The intention of this clause is that the one who holds Angel Dust’s soul contract, or Valentino himself, is the only one who can set the value of his soul. It also grants him sole right to change that value whenever he wishes. But the phrasing…” Stolas tapped the word Vaggie didn’t recognize. “This word here, aheydrun, doesn’t have a modern Hellish direct translation, but the closest approximation is ‘keeper’. However, an aheydrun is one who holds and controls a residence; its use in contracts is that it granted power, ultimately, to the master of the house in question. During the time Angel Dust lived at VoxTek, provided he resided within Valentino’s quarters, that would make Valentino the aheydrun as specified by the contract.”

Vaggie stared at him. “…but Angel is at VoxTek again.”

Stolas shook his head. “Irrelevant,” he said. “According to Goetian legal tradition, once the contracted soul has lived under a different master of the house for a period of seven black moons, the contracted power of aheydrun passes to them.”

Blitzø, who apparently had snuck up when Vaggie wasn’t looking, put his chin on Stolas’s desk. “What’s that mean in one dollar words, Stolas?”

“A black moon is another phrase for a new moon, which happens once per lunar cycle,” Stolas said. “It means that, per Angel Dust’s contract, if he has lived in the Hazbin Hotel for seven months or more, the power to determine the value of his soul has already passed from Valentino to Charlotte Morningstar. The fact that he’s no longer at the hotel won’t affect this for another seven months.”

Vaggie stared at him. “…but… but if that were true, wouldn’t… wouldn’t it already be broken? The contract, I mean.”

“If Princess Charlotte has not reevaluated his soul, no, it will have remained at whatever Valentino’s last determination was.”

Vaggie looked from Stolas to the contract. “…you mean… if Charlie says that the worth of Angel’s soul is lower than the amount of money he’s made for VoxTek through his movies…”

“The contract will end immediately.”

“…I have to go,” Vaggie said. “Can I—”

“Of course,” Stolas said, offering the contract out to her.

Vaggie reached out, but didn’t take it immediately, instead clasping Stolas’s hand in both of hers the way she had seen Charlie do to other people before. “Thank you so much,” she said to the surprised Goetia. “I have no idea how Charlie’s going to want to repay you for this, but she will. Thank you.”

“Oh, she doesn’t…!” Stolas began, but Vaggie wasn’t listening, taking the contract and bolting out of the room. She heard Blitzø yell something after her, but didn’t slow down, taking the same path back the way they had come.

She ran out onto the balcony just as Blitzø caught up with her. “Fuck, you are fast!” he complained.

“That’s nothing compared to what you’re about to see.” She looked at him. “I have to move quickly. You coming?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Then get on my back.”

“What—”

“Now, Blitzø, I don’t have time!”

The imp scrambled up onto her back; he wasn’t all that much shorter than her, being as tall as he was, but he was so light she barely felt it. “Okay, now what?”

“Now, we move,” Vaggie said. She crouched, and she barely registered Blitzø’s cry of surprise as her wings unfurled from her back and she ran for the balcony railing. She jumped, landed briefly on the stone, and launched herself up into the air.

Don’t do anything else stupid, Alastor, she thought. It isn’t just Angel. I’m doing this for you, too.

Not that she would ever say any of that to either, of course. Some lines just didn’t need crossing.

•••