#i actually havent heard most of the songs on this one before. but god the sense of familiarity and nostalgia washing over me

[epicdogymoment]

[foreststarflaime]

All 20 + the wildcard of “how much of a literature nerd are they” for Loki

( @izunias-meme-hole )

Oh boy you got it! Fun fun here we goooo

1- Favourites thing(s) about this character?

Genderqueer! Parent of fun horrors whom he loves dearly! Mischievous fun! Inspires devoted love in someone (Sigyn) despite being disliked and abandoned by the rest of the world! God of stories meta fun! Trickster with a good heart!

2- What song(s) remind you of this character?

The Poet and the Muse by Old Gods of Asgard! Banger song and changing fate vibes wrapped up in a spooky weird story

3- Do you like this character?

No. I LOVE HIMMMMM

4- Would you write about this character?

Absolutely I do need to don’t I

5- What do you not like about this character?

That media doesn’t often portray him with his kids 😔 also don’t like it as much when he’s portrayed as being too on the evil side, I like him to be sympathetic or at least to have a bit of nuance

6- Favourite thing this character has said?

I’ll go with comics Loki specifically for this one, also I’m cheating and treating an extended monologue as one ‘thing’

7- What do you like most about this character?

TRICKSTER TROPEEEEEEE

8- Do you think this character is underrated or overrated?

Hm idk. All versions of Loki deserve ALL the love and praise and attention. I think comics Loki is decently popular? He is…rated ig lol. Myth Loki tho? Underrated gem

9- What’s your favourite headcanon(s) for this character?

Oh I’m realizing I haven’t actually heard many other people’s headcanons about him. I’ll make one up rn instead hmmm…he plays a musical instrument of some kind, something nice and bard-y that can be sat with and played by a campfire. Guitar? Nonono wait LYRE he plays the lyre get it it’s perfect

10- Who do you like to ship with this character? (If you do of course) Is it another character from the cast or is it an OC?

I’ve never really shipped him with anyone tbh, buddy needs to get himself some friends who love him unconditionally so he has a support system before that happens. I volunteer

11- Who do you not like to ship with this character?

Uhhh hmm idk shipping slips my mind more often than not, I have to be reminded romance can exist lmao but yeah ig I don’t really like shipping marvel him with Sylvie. Or Verity, haven’t seen it but I’m sure people do, for the reasons listed above^ I do adore their friendship tho it is so special to me

12- Have you read any fics about this character? (if it’s not an OC)? Can you recommend anything good?

I HAVENT STILLLLL 😭😭😭 that said if anyone seeing this has one to recommend do share 👀

13- Contrary wise if it is an OC, what’s your favourite story with them in it you’ve written?

I still haven’t written for him either 😔 he is in my head constantly tho in many Scenarios they have just not reached the concrete stage

14- What outfit would you really like to see this character wear? Or what’s your favourite outfit of theirs?

Aoa Loki god of stories has always been my favorite look for him but if I had to change anything it would be to add more of the fur, give him some Genesis-level fancy boots, give him longer hair with maybe a little braid or two that he put in there fiddling with his hair while bored, and then unleash him upon the world

15- Favourite line of theirs?

I think this is a duplicate question so I’ll go with a different version of him now, how about Twilight of the Gods Loki? This scene destroyed me

16- What do you think would improve this character? Like, character-arc wise?

I am so so bad at criticism, uhhh in general let him have his kids and let him go a little quirky crazy while still being sympathetic

17- Have you ever had a crush on this character…?

Crush? No. Squish? Yeah. Gender envy? Absolutely all the time

18- What’s something you associate this character with? E.g. a certain colour, object or scenery?

Winter for sure. And campfires. Snowball fights

19- What would the show/book/movie be like if this character wasn’t present? (if it’s not an OC)

:((((( I WOULD CRY. AND IT WOULD HAVE THE LIGHT AND JOY TAKEN OUT OF IT

20- Contrary wise, if this character is an OC, how does their presence change the story?

HIS PRESENCE CATERS TO ME AND MAKES ME HAPPY :) also adds wonderful solace and acceptance and representation of people who like to be a little weird and end up outsiders

Wildcard- how much of a literature nerd are they?

Massive nerd. Literature anarchist, will say anything is literature and he’s right. If he was in a stuffy high literature class in some university he would write his term paper on a comic book or a video game or something, and he constantly references any type of storytelling medium. Can pull references and examples from random stories out of nowhere from the most obscure books/movies/video games/etc

[naupactus]

okay disordered paul mccartney live report incoming

its currently1 am when im writing this and we havent made it to the highway yet. the show lasted 3 entiree hours maybe more WITHOUT any kind of break

think argentinian crowds are especially insane becasue we're only included in tours if it's like a Big Important tour. there weee SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE. I WAS SO CLOSW TOTHE SYAGE. not that close but i was like 20 meters from it IN RIVER which is a lot becasue like omfg when i jumped i could see him. he opened with a hard days night and we all just started screamng the song at the top of our lungs and jumping becausewhat the fuck man its real

he interacted with the audkence a lot actually he spoke in spanish to us he said Che Boludo Son Lo Más. and other such things. and he was very fond of the argentinian tendency to start chanting in the quiet moments. he actually turned the classic oooooo ooooo oooo oo into a song like he told us to do it and started playing chords over it. when he took off his coat the women in the audience went oooooohh and he did a silly gesture like "me? bah". two separate times someone yelled I LOVE YOUU and he responded in a funny voice I LOVE YOU TOO

everyone played absolutely flawlessly his voice is perfect even though hes like 84 HE SANG FUCKING HELTER SKELTER. ?????????AT this age . and so many ltherrlly energetic songs like jet....

live and let die was fucking insane he exploded. they literallyjust started blowing shit up on the stage. there was fire. we could feel the heat of the fire. and an unbelievable amount of fireworks. and we all screamed abd jumped while singing the instrumental part. and then whenit was over there was a wuiet moment where we all CONTINUED singing ut and he told us to STOP because the explosions were too loud and he wasnt doing allat again

during a song where there werent any drums the drummer started dancing like doing the macarena and shit. when the song ended the crowd started chanting PELAAAADO PELAAAAADO bevause he was bald and we love him they played fucking obladi oblada imagine the jumping. imagine. and drums man was doing all the silly extra voices he was so cool.

i didnt know that he played for the benefit of mr kite but he did and iy was great because my sister and i are #1 fans of that fucking song we were going crazy eve though it was possibly the most undanceable song in the entire setlist

he dedicated a song to his wife yhat was paired with sign language on the screen which was sweet on one hand but on thr other hand i wonder how many people in the audience of a rock concert are deaf

he actually dedicated the song something to george :] he sung it on a ukulele he had gifted to him kt was rlly sweet. and he doo-doo'd the little guitar riff between verses and the audience joined in on that as well

he dedicated TWO songs to john the first one was here today which already made my mom and sister emotional because you could see how much he loved that guy.. he said he hoped he was listening up there. and then he played now and then. and even though none of us had heard it much before because it was that song that was only reconstructed recently using ai to recreate johns voice it still made us even more emotional becsuse it was paired w a lot of pictyres of them :( AND I SWEAR TO GOD these birds were paid actors. a flock of white birds in a v formation emerges from behind the stage and flies accross the sky during the song and none of us had to say it for us to decide ok yeah this is the time to cry

one of the last songs if not The last song i dont remember well he poayed before the encore was hey jude and it was so fucking cool becasue as you can expect everyone was singing. and he made us play around w the singing like only the men or only the women. kt was fun <3

that song was also what we sung to ask for the encore and oh boy did he give us an encore. he showed up waving the argentinian flag and behind him a pride flag (yay?) (apparently he does a british flag too in other countries but not in argentina !!! out of respect). and then he said this is a song that is very important to me and you'll see why. and he started playing i've got a feeling and we wondered why he'd said that because yknow this is just any other normal song. but then when john's part came it was john singing instead of him. and it was paired w a video from the get back show of him singing it on the screen and my mom freaked ouut so hard she cried qgain because it felt like he just showed up onstage. personally i hate paul mccartney i think he enjoys playing with our feelings

he olayed the birthday song and then helter skelter and then he was like okay teehee this got long ^^ one last song! and he proceeds to play side 2 of abbey road starting from golden slumbers. we knew he'd end the show w that one because he'd done it at the show 8 years ago but it didnt stop my mom and sister from crying again honestly respect i looked over to my sister and she was SOBBING

my legs hurg

[phantomtrax]

Comesup to your doorstep with big Eyes Can i have music recs .i like Hardcore electronic , industrial ,breakcore,speedcore,gabber, that sort of music.Loud and fast and Synthesizers and.awesome. i also like drone *Grins

OH my god hi i'm actually super honored that you decided to ask me about this stuff ^_^ Now stop me if you've heard of these before/listen to them already but; here are some artists i like that you might like as well based on what i'm reading here, i tried to pick some more niche ones but who knows!...

DJ Technorch is an absolute classic. If you know Gabber you've most likely heard of Technorch, but let me put this one in the list just in case you havent. The Best Selection albums are probably the best place to start, then branch out to other stuff by them...

Algorithm Dude. ALGORITHM DUUUUDE. Woefully niche artist making "YTPcore" music, which is essentially loud as fuck speedcore with dated meme audio clips put in. This is as loud as it gets and I LOVE it. THIS ALBUM SAMPLES 101 TRACKS is extremely fun to start with, but pretty much all Algodude releases are as crazy as the other. (10/10 would get tinnitus again)

While we're still on the topic of Elysian Tunes, SIX TON DOG has XPLOSIVEZ and it is an incredible work of gabber. Sadly, this is also the only album under that alias but you can find some more tracks in THE TUNES albums. Dont fuck with Elysian Tunes heads there's like 10 of us but with your help there could be 11....

bye2 is a master of jungle/breaks. Her songs go in like 10 different directions at once and feel like a whole self-contained symphony. Uses a lot of samples of other stuff as well, but it all fits so well and feels original. Metamorphose is my favorite album of hers, but the soundcloud contains a whole lot more stuff, which includes tracks that lean more towards gabber, and play with distortion.

Nanoray is one of the more popular artists on this list i think? But he's gotta be a contender for my favorite artist of all time. His work evolves a lot over the years, and last year's breakcore is the next year's gabber - ZAPPER is a very well loved drum n bass album by him; but i also love the somewhat-hidden gem that is the gabber album TOYBOX. WOULD ALSO like to mention SPIRAL​ 「​1995​」, which leans HARD into hardcore techno. It's one of a kind. (also Spiral+ is a thing. bonus tracks!!)

Kaizo Slumber is so important. I've listened to him for a month but my life wouldn't be the same. The Kaizo Demos and Kaizo Manifesto are more "light-weight" DnB with elements of gabber, but later releases like How Are We Feeling Today (personal favorite) go full gabber+digital hardcore and it fucking ROCKS.

Have you listened to Gynx, when will you listen to Gynx...This is some serious speedcore. This is what maximum Fun sounds like to me.

(Honorable mention to The Walls Are Trying To Kill Me and Impact by corru.works, they usually make synthwave but youre sure to enjoy these tracks...)

Ran my mouth there, but hey - that just means more stuff to listen to. Hope this helped!!

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[asahicore]

haha, I'm sorry for stressing you out.

I love extraordinary you too. I ended up still having some unanswered questions, but overall I enjoyed it so much. especially because haru is such a pretty boy. 🤧

omg, that is so exciting!! actually doom at your service is in my top 5, with strong woman do bong soon, melting me softly, descendants of the sun and maybe vagabond. some honorable mentions are hometown cha-cha-cha, may I help you, love in the moonlight and crash course in romance. now I see what I put you through, I'm so sorry.

then, what are some kdramas that you disliked. I've noticed a pattern in mine: those before 2010. I mean, I don't dislike them all (coffee prince is one that I enjoyed a lot), but for example full house or secret garden had me wanting to punch a wall most of the time.

— ☕️!

srsly why is it so stressful to choose fav dramas 😭 its like with movies or songs, theres too many to choose from!!

putting a read more bc i talked so much bahahha

and right omg i watched extraordinary you at the beginning of lockdown and i fell in love with haru/rowoon so bad that i started stanning sf9 after that, i was such a big fan of them that whole year hahahaha, and yeah it does have some plot holes but honestly the romance was so cute i didnt even mind

gosh we've seen such different dramas hahaha i havent seen any in your top 5! ofc ive heard about strong woman though, and thats also on my list. crash course in romance was so fun i rmb watching it as it came out and i really loved their romance but god the murder mystery side plot is not for me ��� i dont usually mind a mix of genres but romance with thriller isnt my thing i guess, i like it better when they're seperate. and love in the moonlight omg i watched it ages ago, and actually i dont rmb anything about it so ig that tells you its def not one of my favs 😭 i usually love historical dramas but i think the female lead disguised as eunuch trope is not for me either !

and omg, i havent ever watched a drama from before 2010 actually, bc ive heard that theyre such a product of their time and have like really sexist/fatphobic etc undertones with like toxic male leads and plot lines that just drag on and on bahaha, coffee prince is such a classic though i should watch it!!

for me its pretty rare that i dont like a kdrama cause if im not into it then i'll just drop it and forget about it, but one that i did watch and hated til the end was cheese in the trap because the male lead in insaaaaaane literally a psychopath and the female lead (park goeun bless her heart) is so wishy-washy, worst case of second lead syndrome i ever got in my life!! im going through my watched kdramas, and a lot that ive seen i remember enjoying as i watched but they just didnt stick with me afterwards. i rmb being super frustrated with love alarm, nevertheless (but that one wins back points for incredible casting/side stories/overall vibes lol, im actually considering rewatching...) and itaewon class! then some that i fully stopped watching are love in contract, she would never know, arthdal chronicles, detectives of seonam girls' high school and hotel del luna. i also stopped watching goblin and tale of the nine-tailed around ep 10 but i do plan on picking them back up at some point lol

[goremet-chef]

random little (very long) vent thing lamaoo

my birthday is soon and im like. IDK ive just been incredibly fucked up recently with like. anti trans legislation and general negativity, so ive been trying to keep away from twitter since thats where i see most of it

last year, my mother had me come get my cake with her and to my surprise it said "happy birthday dominic" and i couldve cried, like i was wearing my face mask cuz it helps my dysphoria but holy shit i was smiling so hard

she said dominic when she sang my bday song with my siblings and it made me really happy

she hasnt called me dominic since, and whatever im like. im not really over it but i will say and act like i am because it prevents me from dwelling on unnecessary pain yknow?

i guess recently she's had a change of heart, cuz she told my sibling that she wants to start calling me by dom and that she doesnt want me to hide who i am from her, and i know what she means definitely

ive been very like.. closed off? especially since her bf came back (he fucking sucks i hate him) i just havent spent time with her or anything unless hes gone cuz i definitely dont feel comfortable being myself around him

anyways this is pretty cool all things considered. i have told her before that i knew she wasnt gonna be part of my journey and ive accepted that, and usually i say shit and she just ignores it but maybe she actually heard that and listened

so, dominic is having his 4th bday soon and im happy about that, but like.. we're gonna go do mini golf for my bday which is a surprise! because i mean. if you know me, i dont really like to leave the house, like at all. i guess thats kinda how covid affected me? theres no reason to leave the house anymore so i guess i wont (and i guess it worked cuz i havent gotten it) but it was like. so horrible for my mental health

like i always said "oh, yeah, i dont mind being inside id prefer to not go outside anyways" and thats true but its like. doubled my social anxiety somehow. im normal in public until theres people around me or god forbid interacting with me 💀💀 the way i act when i have to buy my own shit is awful, i get sweaty and i stutter and i shake, i need to take a long breath after it fucking sucks it feels awful. JUST TO LIKE. PUT SOMETHING AT THE CASH REGISTER AND AHVE THEM ASK IF I WANT A REWARDS CARD OR WHATEVER THATS ITTT it sucks

so yeah im surprised i agreed to it, but its glow in the dark minigolf and one thing about me is i love minigolf and i love glow in the dark im gonna have a five nights at freddy moment (which means i gotta wear my shirt like i just gotta) and im sure itll be great fun (pleased about glow in the dark cuz im sure itll be. DARK in there and i dont have to worry so much about people seeing me)

my problem is that im hanging out with my aunt as well and i love my aunt!! everyone on my dads side except for my dad is amazing i love them, but i dont know how she would be yknow? idk if my mom has spilled the tea about it and told her or if theyre gonna just put my deadname on shit this year again like. i dont know

what if it did say dominic? how would my aunt react? its scary to think about, im so scared to LOSE more of my family

i havent even technically lost my moms side, its just that theyre a bunch of racist queerphobic losers and i know if they knew me, they wouldnt want me anymore

yeah im just stressed about it, all this shit is starting to pile up inside of me and i feel like ill explode and jsut say fuck everyone im ME and i dont give a fuck what you think, cuz no, i dont

my immediate family that i live with knows, my grandma knows, thats all that really matters. the only benefits to knowing my great grandparents is they give me money on my birthday, and that might sound hollow or whatever but its true, they fucking suck

just gettin tired of this sht yknow? even now, there is a hostile on the farm!! my moms bf is so homophobic, most likely transphobic too

hes SPECIFICALLY annoying, all the shit i order comes under dominic and hes brought me my things multiple times so he knows, but he'll still say shit like "thats how females are" or "hello girls" and to me its honestly like

its FUNNY because its like the only thing he knows about me is that to him, im a girl SKFJS like genuinely. i dont share anything with him because i fucking hate him, hes the absolute worst. the fact that theyre married and hes my stepdad technically is something i just deny, im never calling that man my dad lol

anyways im thinking about getting a hip binder? i realize thats one of the things im insecure about, is my fat is at my hip and even when i bind it gives me a feminine sort of shape so a hip binder would be great

i realize that i actually dont care so much if im plus size, i just care if my body looks feminine or not

i will absolutely be your fat guy friend with no hesitation okay like that shit? yes im so content for now like that is acceptable, but yknow fat distributes differently so its either baggy ass clothes orr stay inside SKJF

okay im done talking thanks for coming to my ted talk you are safe (for now)

[boyfhee]

hmm, jay fic?? write it and you shall submit. i will be waiting for it, hehe. even i want to start a writing account for enha but i dont know what to post first T_T i have a text au and a headcanon, tell me which one should i post first :0

hope your bro does well in his 10th ✌🏼 tell him to not waste these next months, but hasnt the difficulty level for 10th graders decreased too?? i hate this education system. for us, 70% of syllabus was removed and people say you guys didn't write the exams 😭

hanuman chalisa haha, even if i have god by my side. i would be scared too. lmao how can a jaw chase her... noo that is so funny 😂 i mean i cant handle the smell of rotten food and what would i or you do with cadaver 🥲 i dont know. i regret everyday that why i havent chosen bipc 😔

i know apathorax from arjun reddy movie 😶 is it what it is?? help i dont even remember. isnt it beside the chest of a human?? the flesh part?? tell me tell me. well i havent been interested into coding but i need to start to learn how to code.

since you said you have coded, tell me the basic coding languages i need to know + how your teachers taught you caelin! i badly want tips to learn. like i have so many reels saved on my ig about coding + tips

same pinch, but i have been stanning them since on era and i think i was a hardcore fan until they dropped butter. i lost interest because same, their music started to change and started concentrating on the west. soo, i used to love the old bts caelin :(

hell no!!! when i used to watch yuzuru hanyu skating videos, i got into figure skating and then random videos used to pop up, even i used to know sunghoon before he debuted 🥲 i didnt watch like all of his performances but watched the best ones in his career ^^ he grew up so well.

yup!!! when fever was dropped, engenes knew it was a banger. damn it everyone on twitter asked whose song was this and engenes were like, huhu its enhypen \(^_^)/ hooray hahga. even i agree with you fever was and is the best bside i have ever heard from them.

this already long so i will continue in the next ask :3

— lover club anon <33

jay fic was posted, i hope it reached you well ^^ also, good luck with starting a writing account omg .. you can start with texts since they are a quick read and attract more audience !!! however, headcanons aren't bad either ... it really is your choice :O

i will tell him to do well in 10th, although he wastes all his time playing valo / forza horizon TT i don't know how easy or difficult the school exams have gotten, i've been so out of the loop ever since i graduated >< hope your sister does well too in boards ^_^

and omg bipc is fun but i'm sure pcm is just as interesting :O you have a fear of blood and needles so maybe you weren't meant for the OT but rather for doing other big things in like ... let's be positive !!! also, i think you mean apothorax ?? it's part of thorax containing heart and lungs ^^ i was studying about mediastinum today .. it's too much to take in. there's so much information and so little space in my brain .. sometimes i wonder if i will be able to remember all the things _ _;

also, i studied coding in highschool so i don't know how helpful my tips will be for college since you're definitely going to learn much much more there :O i think html css is basic and important ( for example, tumblr's who website theme and post format is based on html css ) javascript, python are important too since they're in demand. i'm afraid we didn't learn a lot in school except what was in theory .. didn't have many lab sessions and the most we did was python and html css since that was the main focus ( i hate python like whatever the hell that is ... )

i also started with hanyu !!! and then came across cha junhwan, yuna kim, ilia malinin and all though the international tournaments and all. i remember being so interested in fs, i watched the 4cc tournaments during classes TT i actually came across sunghoon through junhwan, watched his videos and then moved on like .. i didn't see him at the competitions so i thought he quit :O never looked him up for me to know he was a trainee / idol

AND YEAH fever is truly the queen, i can never get tired of it. border : carnival in itself is an amazing album. what's your fav album of them so far? fav b-side and title tracks? i need to know ><

[rqlaji2]

Hey I know ive been dead but I went to 2 more they might be giants shows

15th i went to first avenue the first time. I havent even seen purple rain. I went on a walk every other day for the past month but it was surprisingly (sarcasm) not enough to prepare me for standing up for two hours straight. I saw the first first ave show was apollo 18 and while narrow your eyes is the best song ever and the guitar wouldve been astronomically fun i thought about it and if I actually got to choose which two i saw it wouldve been these. Now that I write that though my flood show was about a quarter mink car. But did your flood show have wicked little critta. No.

And so im up on the balcony i am directly outside the owners box, I have to get out of the way a fair amount which maybe helped a little with the pain that comes from standing in one place for two hours. But im wondering which one will be the comfortable show and they come out and i don’t even cry or anything like the first time im just like hey its those guys i know. Im a little far away and i need an eye exam yesterday though so maybe thats why. Anyway they come out and they play subliminal and im like AHHH cause its the best song ever. Actually im with a guy I do like a lot and I havent gone to too many shows, but I am so shy at the beginning a lot of the time..so maybe not AHHH but okayyy!!! And inside im like AHHH yknow? I wish snail shell was later in the set/i was less really fucking shy because I dont remember going crazy for it and I shouldve. SNAIL SHEEELLLLL. I listened to the venue song like two days before, it is so funny and great. More like mid james ensor. Its ok though cause it segues into the famous polka which is the best song ever. HEY! Im legitimately getting chills thinking about the famous polka, its so good. I always love slightly country tmbg and i have all of one single out of jail scrobble i didnt even recognize it 😭 in my fake fan era. Ah this was my first mesopotamians, so classic. More else pleaseee. Oh god spider was so good, so much more cacophonous than the recorded one. First flans doing a silly voice moment i can remember seeing, i love it when they do silly voices. Dirt bike might be my favorite tmbg song ever. You may have already noticed a theme with this post where i call every song the best song ever but I am not joking here, it might just be my favorite ever. I clap for all but I never cheer for the horns, and I wonder if that makes me a bad person, especially when dirt bike without horns would be shit. That intro is sooo perfect . A self called nowhere kicks total ass. Spy literally gets better every time I see it oml, I could not stop laughing at the back in black bit. SPY x16. The end of the tour is the best song ever, just so so lovely.

Man its so loud in here is really another contender for genuine serious most favorite tmbg song, I love it so so so so so much. Theyve played it at all my shows except the bowl, it wouldve been too powerful. I am so grateful for all the actual shows having it though, actual best song ever even if they play it a little different! Please compare my all time top played song man its so loud in here with all time 1 scrobble out of jail. (I really do not dislike out of jail, I dont know why I havent listened to it. I dont remember how it goes. John henry is my second favorite tmbg album. I dont know whats wrong with me.) When will you die just makes me think about how nothing will ever top the hollywood bowl when will you die, what a surprise and also great song. Doing the working undercover for the man sha la las in a crowd is so fucking cool!!! OH IVE HEARD ALL OF FINGERTIPS LIVE TWICE NOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU KNOW WHOVE HEARD FINGERTIPS LIVE NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. I have to mention cloisonne, idk what to say about it but I heard cloisonne live, lmfao <3. Where your eyes dont go is so spooky and awesome. Brontosaurus is so great. Doctor worm is the best song ever. Letterbox is the best song ever. Last song of the night was no one knows my plan and they did not even make us conga. You may be thinking, no particle man? No istanbul? Well this ran long so im making a part 2 LOL

Also during the course of this show I sweated fucking tons, I was like legally an ocean. Anyways

[gaoau]

theres no calories in birthday cakes

to forget minor inconveniences for a day. to make up new rules. to have kuroo as a reminder that life can be nice. (and, most importantly, to not listen to chopper's character song again.)

pairing — kuroo tetsurou x reader word count — 1.2k note — a few disclaimers. 1) roommates au cause for some reason this and kuroo together seems to be a fan favorite of the hq fandom. might as well join. 2) inaccurate phone devices for the year of 2014 or smth dw bout it artistic liberties. 3) kuroos an op fan cause i said so (i havent seen a single ep of op) anyway happy birthday chiguru.  

you can already hear the music kuroo is blasting before even opening the door. it's one of those western, alternative artists whose name you cannot pronounce for the life of you. but youve heard their songs so much by sheer osmosis that you can actually follow along with semi-butchered lyrics.

still, you struggle to recognize a single word thats being sung as you also struggle to insert your key into the keyhole. normally your benevolent roommate would hear you fighting for your life by now and come open the door for you, but it seems hes too busy with his music. you dont blame him. 

when you finally do manage to unlock the door, you can also hear why kuroo is blasting music through the cheap, oversaturated bluetooth speaker. ceramic and glass and metal all knock softly against one another in a chaotic symphony (some may just call it jazz). hes doing the dishes, singing along while this song fades into the next one.

the very moment you step a single foot into your shared dorm, the song changes. which usually you really wouldnt mind, but this fucking song. you hear salsa and merengue and bachata and fandango and every single other genre you can think of in the same song. it starts with choppers high-pitched, cheery voice, and you instanly let your bag drop to the floor. you only take a moment to kick off your shoes, but once theyre off, you stomp your way over to kuroo in the kitchen.

you groan, "i swear to god, kuroo, if i have to listen to this song one more time…" you trail off, debating between i'll kill myself or i'll murder you in cold blood. you say neither, snatching his phone from the counter and unlocking it with your fingerprint.

kuroo laughs as he cranes his neck to look at you. he scrubs at a particularly stubborn pot, watching you queue up a different song. "but boku ha doctor, tony tony chopper, [surname]."

immediately, you swipe your finger on the screen and change the song. kuroo recognizes it as your favorite pop song in a matter of seconds, though it's in korean despite you not speaking korean at all. "boku doesnt suit you," you say, looking him dead in the eye.

"alright, then." he shrugs. "atashi ha—"

"thats even worse."

he bursts out laughing, and it's not long before your own cackles spill from your tongue. you lock his phone and return to its place on the counter. his hyena imitation and your own chuckles blend in harmony with the upbeat korean verses. then they fizzle off so you can appreciate the music. you cringe internally, because the cheap speakers arent doing your boys any justice. and you hear kuroo hum along, mumbling a few words under his breath even when his korean isnt any better than yours.

but it doesnt really matter, does it? not when it's a song he never would have listened to if he hadnt met you. a song he never would have cared for, but one he knows forwards and backwards by now. and it matters even less when you watch him squeeze more of the watered-down dish soap onto the sponge, soaking anything it can in hopes for bubbles because you refuse to buy a new one until the residues in this bottle vanish completely. plus youre not sure youll ever find this unscented dish soap again, seeing as it wasnt even you the one to find it—knowing kuroo took the longest train ride to chiba to find anything that wouldnt give you a headache.

whatever blunders you both make dont matter at all. not when you have one another to bounce off of and to pick yourselves up.

as your choice of song fades into another one in kuroos playlist, realization dawns on you. "wait, you arent on dish duty." you take a step closer, looming by his side while he rinses the last pots and moves onto the cups. "it's my turn."

he shoots you a toothy grin. "i know, i know, but since im such a nice person, i thought id spare you the ugh my skin is so dry complaints for today."

you narrow your eyes at him.

he stares back.

"did you break something?"

kuroo exaggerates a gasp. "of course not!" if his hands werent busy, hed slap one over his heart. "im always this benevolent. i know your skin gets fucked up so i'll save you the trouble. just today though, youre back on dishes next time."

"why today?"

he finishes washing the last three cups and carefully sets them to dry. with a dramatized sigh, he slaps the tap shut, shaking his hands dry. "check the fridge. i cant believe you forgot." and he flicks water on your face.

wiping it off with your sleeve, you make your way to open the fridge. it's, unsurprisingly, mostly empty, save for the bright pink box at the bottom, boasting the logo from that one gluten free bakery that is actually good. you pull the lid up to peer at its contents: a brownie slab with chocolate topping and the letters BIRTH in english.

"what?" you nearly slam the door shut. when you turn back to kuroo, hes standing with his hands on his hips, looking smug and awaiting praise. "dude, my english is shit."

he groans, "誕生," to give you a hint.

"birth?"

"誕生日おめでとう? ring any bells?"

"oh!" you take a moment to think about todays date. you barely remember if you saw the date at all throughout the day. you must have, but you cannot recall it for the life of you. but with this cake, you know exactly what day it is. "it's my birthday today, isnt it?" silence lasts for a second while kuroo hums. "well, that explains the missed called from my mother."

"oh, shes gonna kill you."

"not if this kills me first," you chuckle, patting the fridge door.

kuroo starts listing off, "it's gluten free, on the crispier side, no filling but still moist, and it's dark chocolate, sixty percent." all the way you like it most to make sure it doesnt kill you.

"i meant… calories."

"theres no calories in birthday cakes; thats, like, newtons fourth law."

you take a moment to process his words. then you laugh, "see, thats what a capitalist would say."

"hey, whatever sells. if you dont want it, though…" menacingly, he stalks over to the fridge, trailing off in an unfinished threat.

you shoot your arms in front of you to guard your birthday cake. "no, no. i'll take it."

he snorts out a chuckle. "happy birth, [surname]." with a grin, he starts reaching his dominant hand towards your hair.

"thanks," you manage, scrambling to grab his wrist with both hands to hold him away. "stop, your hands are wet." he pushes down, his open palm right above your head. you have to put your all to keep him from messing with your hair.

"no, theyre not."

"i dont care, theyre humid. stop it."

"no, theyre not."

"kuroo, stop."

"no, theyre not."

"sto—stop! no!"

busy with his dominant hand, you fail to notice his other hand darting out. he tangles his fingers in your hair and musses it up. you burst into giggles, eyes squeezing shut as you let him finish with his affectionate display. it doesnt really matter when kuroo is your favorite person to spend your birthday with.

—あごす (agosu) • 2022

[legobatjoker]

BTW BTW LIST OF GOOD LEAKED TAYLOR SONGSS funfact i has a unreleased taylor songs playlist but i j put all the songs in their so to get together a list i made another playlist called top tier unreleased taylor along with the one thats just called unreleased taylor. real daniel vs the cooler daniel vibes DFHDFHD anyway !! okay first of all battles and drama queen are on there idk if uv listened to them yet but they are SO GOOD so listen to those and also okay the thing abt all these other songs (at least the ones im listing here bc idk abt the others on tht google drive that i didnt listen to) is theyre all from the . around the time of the songs from her debut album so theyre all v debutcore by which i mean theyre all very country (which im 90% sure ur v much good with so 👍🏽) and also like bc she wrote her debut album when she was very young (and some of these songs she wrote when she was even younger apparently? idk most of my info is coming from the little information thing tht genuis lyrics has for the song at the end and most of them arent v descriptive for unreleased songs lol) they songs have like a v like. earnest teenaged vibe to me the same way tht debut does (mean tht in a /pos way btw its one of the things i love abt tht album and these songs) anyway WOW this ask has been going on fora while without me actually giving you any songs anyway BASICS i'd Lie, Sweet Tea And God's Graces, The Diary Of Me i feel like those ones are like prettyyy basic leaked songs like. u can find them rly easily online i had heard them all before this even tho i didnt always seek out unreleased songs bc i feel like theyre rly common to find but also dont take this as me shaming u if u havent already heard them im j saying tht since i had already heard them in my mind they were the Basics but who knows maybe the other ones are also rly easy to find i just hadnet before today ANYWAY those three are all rly good imo id lie is the BEST !! so fucking good one of my fave unreleased taylor songs but the other two are also rly good sweet tea and gods graces is a bit christian-y but to like. the same extent as our song about so like not a hugee deal DFHDFHD anyway also OMG some songs that stand out as rly good to me are Firefly, Better Off, Drive All Night (Just South Of Knowing Why), Thirteen Blocks (Cant Call It Love), and Tell Me theyre all SO GOOD my most faves are firefly better off and just south of knowing why but theyre all so good !!! also not as good imo but i also rly like Live For The Little Things j bc i i enjoy thee vibes nd think its rly cute, R-E-V-E-N-G-E bc its so petty in such a fun way, For You bc i think its rly sweet and Lucky You just beucase i think its really fun and cute !!!! so i wld say listen to all of those ones :3 thts my recommendation at least its not comprehensive i didnt listen to every song on tht drive and i might be missing a few rly good ones) if u wish to pls tell me what u think of those songs >:> !!! ALSO idk if its in that google drive bc already had it downloaded (regardless i know it was on youtube at least at some point + i cld always send u the file) so i didnt bother looking but Me And Britiney is also really good so if its on there download tht to ALSO ALSO i recomened looking u the lyrics to the songs but maybe thts bc thts something i need listening to most songs the first time? but cld also be bc its leaked its not badd and some have it better but the audio quality isnt as good as an official song wld be (at least i think lol) but Live For The Little Things all the lyrics iv found are REALLYY badly transcribed for some lines like there a line thats very obviouslly listening to it saying "that love as first sight" but the lyrics say "that love and person" which is . not what is being sung?? kinda obviously imo but whatever do tht for the songs tht arent that one FDHDFHDF anyway YA !!!!

OMG OMG I AM SOOO EXCITED TO LISTEN TO ALL OF THESE WHEN I GET THE CHANCE…… i will tell u what i think when i do but ahhh im excited tysmmmmmm for sharing the link w me and telling me ab it :333!!!! also yah some of them being p country is so so so not a problem for me like. i can b a country girl if its good LMAO

[sabaramonds]

dmdp posting again. hey guys. MANGA SPOILERS !!! ive rambled about this on discord and on twitter in bits and pieces but it haunts me so im going to talk about it again here. so theres this song i heard a month or so ago, turtles all the way down by sammy copley, and every time i listen to it i start tearing myself apart at the seams over the corpse god and his emperor (and once again i will be referring to them strictly as their titles because, again, if you havent read the entire manga and been edged for 80 chapters, it just isnt right...) typical ok this got super long so im actually putting it under a cut this time but 👇 go forth if you want to be subjected to the depths of my illness

anyway!!! i just cant help it. everything about it perfectly encapsulates their relationship from corpse gods perspective. like

im not well as you can tell by the way i havent looked you in the eye im about to lie and say im fine but inside you and i know thats not true but its either this or let my burden weigh on you and that i just cant do so ill choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason here i am, committing treason force the last page of our story one more boring allegory hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand the loves me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

i feel crazy. “but its either this or let my burden weigh on you / and that i just cant do / so ill choose for the both of us” because corpse god doesnt want to burden his emperor more than he already has; his emperor has already dirtied his hands for him. thats already too much. “youve trusted me for no good reason / here i am committing treason / force the last page of our story” because he feels as if he is unworthy of his emperors love and trust and kindness and that aside from what hed done under a foreign necromancers influence, the grief and rage that possessed him to act in violence made him even more unworthy - made him a traitor to his masters teachings, to his emperors affection... even before we got further context for their relationship in the last few chapters of the most recent arc (civil having his #girl moment) i wrote in “the ghost of who you were” that corpse gods escapist fantasy of seeking out a world, or creating one, where his emperor would never have to dirty his hands on corpse gods behalf - or on the behalf of any child subjected to violence by adults who should love them - was an impossible dream he chased in an attempt to outrun the forgiveness of his emperor (though, to his emperor, there is nothing to forgive at all) also “hope to god youll rise above me; always bite the hand that loves me / mine is the unkindest kindest cut of all / and ill watch you fall” so fucking prophetic. to me. about corpse god choosing for both of them (sealing away his emperor and other spirits hed contracted with deep within himself so they could not reach out to him and judge him for what he had done) and the fact he did, indeed, watch his emperor fall; he had done it himself, with his own two hands, as unwillingly as it had been.

and i am aware that its not fair to bring you here then send you on your way you had so much to say and to ask like, “why am i not cut out for the task of loving you forever, of holding you and never wanting less?” well, i can take a guess see, i could choose for the both of us and youll just go along because youve trusted me for no good reason love, no matter what the season; force the last page of our story youre my favorite allegory hope to god that youll forgive me; my mistakes will long outlive me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all and ill watch you fall

ripping my face off as i listen to this song and think about them right now. as we speak. “and im aware that its not fair / to bring you here then send you on your way” like every single part of this. “hope to god that youll forgive me / my mistakes will long outlive me” corpse god binding his emperors soul to him (consensually) only to push him away in the aftermath out of guilt and grief and feelings of inadequacy. his emperor never stopped wanting him, not even when corpse god became one of the undead himself; not even when he was nothing but bones held together by his masters magic, a brain in a jar kept cradled close to his frail, fleshless vessel... in his emperors own words: “no matter what youve turned into, the empire and i are always on your side.” in chapter 80, he says to corpse god, “being alive isnt about whether or not youre dead body. its about whether youre looking to the future or not.” he follows this up by addressing corpse god not by the title he himself had given him, but by his name (BRAIN DAMAGING) (I WAS ON THE FLOOR WRITHING LIKE A WORM)

and i dont know if this makes it any easier perhaps youll find comfort when i say: you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today yes. ill choose for the both of us: youll just go along because you trusted me against your judgement you deserve someone who doesnt force the last page of your story no more boring allegories hope to god youll rise above me, though youll always be part of me mine, mine is the unkind kindest cut of all ill watch you fall now watch me fall

most of the song i feel very strongly reads as corpse gods perspective but “perhaps youll find comfort when i say / you and i are nothing more than meteors, never meant to live long past today” feels like such an emperor thing to say. when you are a child emperor, you are braced for political assassination; when you are from a land where necromancy is a real and thriving art, your fear of death can be softened by the knowledge that if the one you love outlives you (even if their own flesh, too, is long gone) then your voice will still be heard by those who matter. though even then, the emperor is quite a funny guy. he loved corpse god before he was corpse god; he loved him when he was flesh and bone, loved him when that flesh dissolved and he was left as just a skeleton of who he had been; he loved him when corpse god killed him, loved him when corpse god bound them together. and always, he waited for when corpse god would be ready to face him, waited for him to be able to live. because corpse god was not alive before. if we go off of the emperors idea of “being alive” meaning “looking forward”, corpse god was always looking down or looking back; caught in his past, his regrets, his fears. i mentioned what his emperor said in chapter 80. in chapter 81, the opening page of corpse god is him smiling at the sight of his emperors back, thinking to himself: “unlike me, you only ever looked ahead. how could you keep your eyes trained forward on what was to come? i didnt understand at the time (and here, we see corpse god as he once was: face hidden by a bone mask and cowl, unsmiling) but now, i think i get it a little.” he thinks this as he watches his emperor dirty his hands on his behalf once again. he called for his emperor willingly, this time; he asked for his help, not as a subject beseeches their lord, but as a friend. an equal, the way his emperor had always treated him; he is ready to be alive, now. he is ready to look forward instead of past, to accept his emperors forgiveness, his love; to think of himself as worthy returning that love and wait i forgot lol i was so caught up in the insanity of the emperors perspective in those first few lines and segueing into corpse gods growth during the latest arc that i forgot to talk about “hope to god youll rise above me / though youll always be part of me” wanting his emperor to have better than what he does (corpse god) but wanting to always keep part of him with him + “ill watch you fall / now watch me fall” literally he killed his emperor with his own hands (unwillingly) and then his downward spiral in his grief and when he eventually went absolutely bananas on those geldwood cultists giving them a brutal torturous death for murdering the orphan children he was caring for at the time and believing his actions had made him unworthy of the power he wielded and (holding my head) as you can tell i think about this song and about them a normal amount. i think ill stop talking here. for now. i just. oh my god. theyve come so far. the fact corpse god is able to face his emperor now. jesus christ 😭 if you think im bad about these two just wait until i start talking about civil. lol

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

[rhaenyraisadyke]

A Year Later Transcript: 8/3/21

Here it all is on a google doc if that is easier to read!

W: “I heard there was a special place.. Where men could go and emancipate.. The brutality and the tyranny of their rulers…” Do you know that one Ranboo?

R: I have I have I have, I’ve heard that one a few times, I had a friend that sings that one quite a lot.

W: Yeah it's great, I- I personally, I am a big big fan of the song and not just because I wrote it, I know, I know they saw aww yeah they say you are your own worst critic, but I mean, I think it's good. Do you know what it's based on?

R: Mhm mhm

W: Obviously it's based on hallelujah, but the thing is Ranboo, right is the reason we did it is because Tommy used to sing hallelujah to the plants around the thing... the caravan! Do you remember the caravan? You have heard of the caravan right?

R: Yeah, yeah I’ve heard of it and seen the re-creation of it at the museum, but that's really it.

W: Actually can we go see it? Let's go see it quickly!

R: Yeah, sure.

W: So, so, he used to plant the stuff around the caravan, and it made it grow better, he hehe used to ha, my man Tommy, what is this? This is new.. I won’t ask questions…

R: I- Someone planted a lot of beats here and I don’t know why

W: OH, okay I quite like it, it looks really nice, it looks nicer than the target that used to be here. Um

R: Yeah

W: So my man Tommy used to sing to the plants to make them grow better um and that was the song he used to sing so I thought what a better way to honor tommy, one of the most loyal members of our fair nation then to name the song after him and base the song after his little muse. Tommy is all of our muse really, I'd say. So here's the museum.

R: Yeah, Yeah

W: I haven't been to the museum, wait las- that's where I met you Ranboo right?

R: Oh yeah yeah, that's where you saw me next to the um poster of myself… I don't know why that's still up, I kinda put that there and it preceded to stay there, is it still set up? Oh, oh no.

W: It’s not still up anymore it was here, it was right here on this wall. I quite liked it, but I guess not enough for it to be history though.

R: I’m not historical yet apparently.

W: So yeah in here, in here where the declaration of independence would sit on the wall here, it was actually quite, quite a nice van, not quite as nice as yours, I quite liked what you were doing with yours. Have you been working on it since I’ve been gone?

R: Yeah I’ve been working on it. I added a nice little table outside and did some pathways and appropriately themed flowers.

W: Thats nice

R: Yeah!

W: Let's go to Lmanburg or what was lmanburg, last time I saw it was a big glass thing.

R: Yeah I think it goes by Lmanhole now apparently.

W: Ahh ehh, that's kind of rude, it's kind of rude to Lmanburgs history you know?

R: mhm

W: It’s called Lmanburg, it's called Lmanburg. NOT Manberg NOT Lcrater or whatever, Lmanhole I don’t care it's now Lmanburg it's always Lmanburg. It’s just how it goes.

R: Okay

W: Yeah so that's why the song exists as it is. Oh there's no glass.

R: Yeah! Yeah I mean it seems to have changed a little bit.

W: YOOOO I actually didn’t know this was here

R: Yeah! It’s even got the flag down there at the bottom

W: It’s got the flag man! Can we go down and see the flag? Cmon Cmon lets go

R: Yeah yeah wait you alright?

W: I’m like a lemming I don’t care I’m just gonna jump

R: Oh well okay… careful!

W: Look at this dude!

R: Yeahh

W: Oh wow I really went down to bedrock didn't I? Holy Shit.. I did a number on this place. This is amazing!! Ahhh This is what it deserved, not the glass bullshit, this is what it needed, this like beautiful overgrowing, it feels like it happened, it doesn't feel like a monument, it feels like nature has claimed it back,

R: The book has kind of closed in that sense

W: Yeah.. we’ve got, look they have got they rebuilt the lake man! And this used to be a real river about here into Lmanburg- wait, Ranboo do you see that is that Tubbo?

R: Yeah… that's Tubbo

W: Aye Tubbo!

T: “I heard there was a special place where men could go and emancipate…”

W: Tubbo?

T: “ the tyranny” - oh?

W: Tubbo!

T: Hello?

W: Haha! You’ve came, I- I havent seen you dude in FUCKING ages! Tubbo, are you singing the song?

T: Yeah… Yeahhh?

W: Are you? Are you singing the thing?

T: Yeah hello?

W: Hold on I’m coming im coming im coming man

T: Where are you?

W: Hold on, I'm coming around, here I come, Tubbo man! I haven't seen you in ages!

T: H-H..Hello.. Wilbur..

W: I’m coming around man!

T: Yeah aha…

W: Bro! Its-

T: Weird seeing you here.

W: What in Lmanburg? That seems like the most normal place to see me.

T: Uhh yeah I suppose so

W: Well I- dude I don’t even know what to say to you man, it's like looking in a little mirror, you are even still wearing my suit still?

T: Yeahh

W: How long have you been wearing that?

T: Oh I just put it on for today, I just for it's been a year now…

W: Well you look good in it! Ranboo have you met Tubbo?

R: Yeah! Well I’ve I’ve met him, I mean we’ve um… been around yeah

W: Well Tubbo I’m really happy to see you man, dude

T: Ah, well thank you.

W: Do you even know what happened? Since,

T: What do you mean what's happened?

W: I saw you briefly man when I was resurrected, I remember you SUPER SUPER briefly but this is the first time we have actually gotten to speak, I- I will admit I was a little overwhelmed during that whole thing. I was running across the glass, thank god it's gone, this is far more adpt, but I was running across the glass, I’m sorry I wasn't you know, entirely on the same page, but I promise you I’ve calmed down I’m all settled in, I understand what's changed, what's happened whos new, whos old whos still about who uh…. Who trusts me and stuff

T: Did they fill you in on the story? Like what happened here after you died?

W: Yeah, they did, I’m gonna be honest with you it's not a pretty one, I kind of left a bit of a ripple. If I was a rock, dropped in a lake, I’m a pretty big rock

T: You- yeah’

W: And I can’t say I’m not- I’m not flattered. I mean I am flattered, I’m not TOO upset about it, I like being the big ripple, but more than anything, I want to say super simple man. I want to say. I want to say I’m sorry

T: Awe

W: For one thing mainly, I’ve been thinking about this for years, LITERAL years. I’m sorry for making you president specifically before blowing it up and I’m sorry for when I did this and blew all this up and making this hole,

T: Well I mean-

W: and making you president of a crater and i'm sorry. I’m really really sorry. I really am

T: I mean this wasnt all you Wilbur….

W: We’ll get to that, do you? Do you forgive me?

T: Yeah, I do forgive you

W: Man, ahhh my little treasury, secretary treasury, do you remember that?

T: Yeah yeah I remember that. Secretary to treasury

W: Ranboo he was the secretary to treasury and then he was president

R: Yeah

W: And then he was president

T: Yeah I’m pretty sure the treasury was like somewhere there.

W: So what were you saying about me not being the one there who blew it up?

T: Well I mean you definitely blew it up. I feel like you’re missing some vital information.

W: Wait, so you rebuilt it? How long -how long did it stand before this happened?

T: Yeah so, me, and mainly ghostbur honestly like

W: ….ghostbur….

T: He- put so much effort into making it right again.

W: Is he this obsidian crap I take it and these uh? Fucking lanterns

T: You know dream?

W: Yeah I know Dream- I love him. Dream’s Dreams

T: Oh..

W: Dreams probably my favorite person, sorry Ranboo i mean uh no contest here, Dreams probably my favorite person he saved me

T: Oh.. Oh..

W: He saved me he brought me back to life

T: Well um yeah I mean he was powerful I guess but um Techno and Philza yeah um

W: Techno and Phil blew this up?

T: They built this big obsidian contraption overnight… I couldn’t even see it coming. And they rained TNT for days.

W: nhh

R: Yeah…

W: And that's.. Wait hold on, why would Techno and Phil do this? Why would Techno and Phil blow up Lmanburg? Didn’t they live here? I mean I don’t know about Techno…

T: Techno and Phil, they hated the government, it was partially my fault as well…

W: But you didn’t blow it up

T: No, I didn't. I never wished for anything to happen like this.

W: So it was just Techno and Phil?

T: Y-y yes..

W: Sorry that's kind of just hit my not the blowing up part- You know I’ve done that,

T: Yeah

W: I’m not shaken up about that. I’m shaken up about man, is that, you rebuilt this! After I was gone

T: I can’t take all the credit obviously but there was a big effort

W: That fucking ghost- who cares man YOU rebuilt this! Bro, you

T: Yeah I suppose

W: MY fucking grave! I was so pressed about not having a grave, screw a grave I built something that you loved that YOU wanted to preserve… thats,

T: Yeah, I really honestly…

W: Tubbo that's worth more to me than a grave. That's worth more to me than this shrine. That's worth more to me then- Tubbo this is probably the best gift I have ever been given, this knowledge that people actually cared enough, that you cared enough to rebuild this community after it fell.

T: Ahh, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: You… haha, sorry, aww man, Tubbo thank you.

T: It’s alright, I just feel lost without Lmanburg. All my core beliefs.. Everything died with it.

W: You feel lost without Lmanburg

T: I have no purpose.. Anymore.

W: I guess that's where anarchy fails… Tubbo, I have a little, a little thing coming. Not big, nothing much yet, ehh, it's not a big deal you know, it's a little burger van at the moment but I got plans, big plans. Tubbo it's called paradise

T: Paradise.

W: Yeah, yeah will, would you like to come join me in paradise? Literally?

T: Hmmmm, Id, I’m not sure Wilbur, I’m not sure I trust you man. In order to follow someone I need to trust them.

W: Wait… wait- but I thought you forgave me!

T: Yeah Wilbur I forgive you because I like to hang onto the hope that people change but, I don’t trust you yet Wilbur.

W: Okay… Taboo. I literally was dead for thirteen years. I know it wasn't long for you, I know it was only a couple months for you but thirteen years Tubbo… Thirteen years of my life. I am old! Look at me! I’m not the same young man you knew. I-I’ve been through it and in those years, I’ve learned Tubbo, i wasn't just sat twiddling my thumbs just going “oooh this is nice ohhh i'm in darkness right now” you know I was thinking. I relived that explosion in my head so many times man, and I get that you don’t trust me, I do but like man! Look at me bro, I’m not gonna do it again, I’m not gonna hurt you again. I’m not gonna you know… I know you, you had the festival with Technoblade, I never spoke properly to you about this.

T: mm

W: I could have saved you…

T: But you didn’t

W: I- Tubbo… I’m reaching out to you man, I’m on my knees.. I, I’m sorry. I’m really really sorry and I literally, your forgiveness means so much to me but it doesnt give up what I did to you and it doesnt give up how I failed you as a friend, you know eh, fuck being as a coworker but just you know anything… Ranboo you might know or have known all of this and I’m really sorry if this was your first of hearing I can explain later on but like..

R: Alright………

W: Tubbo, man, I’m, I want to make it up to you. And you know what? I appreciate you don’t trust me. I do.

T: Wilbur in order for you to gain my trust back you have to prove it first. I can’t just give it out anymore. I used to be able to, but I just, I just can’t.

W: Tubbo… I really appreciate it, and I mean that genuinely. I appreciate it and I am gonna go out and prove to you I’m worth being trusted again. I promise.

T: Okay…

W: I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’ll redeem myself and you'll.. Youll

T: Do you know I still have dreams right? Of the explosion… And, and of the fireworks. And all of it. I vividly see all of it every day. It HURTS. It hurts Wilbur a lot.

W: I- Tubbo, Tubbo, I know, I know, Tubbo, Tubbo, Tubbo Tubbo, please, I know…. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I- arhh It feels like sorry is such a weak word. I feel like there's nothing stronger that I can say, and I understand what you mean about how my actions need to reflect it and they will. Give me time. I’m gonna make something. I'm gonna make something of this and I’m gonna…

Uhhhh

Tubbo do you know how fucking strong you are? And I’m not trying to say - I’ve got your forgiveness, but I know I need to earn your trust but man… you're so strong man, genuinely. Just the fact you proved to me that just there that you have these memories and these nightmares, you still found it in your heart to forgive me, that's... You’re a fucking champion man. You’re a hero.

Look I get you don’t want to join me in paradise. We won’t talk about that anymore but, cmon, at least come and see, come and at least see what me and Ranboo have been doing! Look I don’t know- Ranboo are you? Are you and Tubbo friends? Are you and Tubbo like good friends?

R: Yeah, yeah I’d say so.

W: Then why don't you and him come and see what I’ve made! Come and see what I’ve got going on! Lets go lets go!

T: I think.. I think I’m gonna stay here, Wilbur. I think I’m fine, just to stay here.

W: No, no man, no worries. Look at me bro look at me bro! Chin up! Look, lucky rabbit's foot!

T: Okay…

W: Tommy gave it to me

T: Lucky Rabbit's foot…

W: Lucky Rabbit's foot man, chin up. Ranboo, I’ll, you can come, it's cool.

R: I will, I will. Do you need me to stay here?

T: No.. *sniffles* I’d like to be left alone please

R: Oh… you sure? I mean.. I can stay…

T: Yes. I’m fine

R:You sure? Okay...

W: Ranboo! Let's go man.

R: Yep! Lets- lets go

W: Cya tubbo! I’ll send a letter!

T: Uhuh

W: Comeon Ranboo

R: Alright

W: Ah man! It’s its I mean I I was gonna say this is hard, but obviously it's hard, I’ve -

R: It is, it is

W: It's difficult man and I’ve been you know it's gonna get better and it's gonna be worth it when I see them smiling.

R: Yeah, yeah

W: Tubbo, Jack, Niki, Tommy, anyone… Do you know who the original Lmanburg group were? Do you know who we were?

R: Ah, uhh I think most of them yeah, I think it was you, Jack, Niki, Fundy I believe as well

W: Fundy was after, Fundy was a bit after we got independence

R: mhm yeah I don’t really. I don’t really know much of lmanburg history

W: That’s alright you’ve got it down, it's correct. It’s that group and we um yeah we fought against Dream and we managed to succeed and we created a life process. Ranboo I’m gonna tell you something I’ve never really told anyone, I try and keep this on the low because I don’t want uh people to use it against me is the main problem. I didn’t even tell Tommy. I- I lied to Tommy I’m gonna be honest. I’ll tell him soon

R: Yeah

W: I’ll tell him I lied to him because I feel- it kind of eats away at me. I kind of- I told Tommy that I didn’t actually care about Lmanburg and that it was actually a tool for me to get and gain power and stuff but it's not true. Lmanburg was really important to me and it is still to this day. I want it, I want its history to live on, not as a stain caused by me because I basically took a bit shit on the history books. I wanna, I wanna make it feel like it was you know something that happened and it was a great thing. Think of the good times, the years and years well not years but you know the time of safety the time of fun, prosperity! We built parks, we built you know, no taxes, big walls, we had democracy! All be a slightly disjointed version of it but you know, that's how people should remember Lmanburg, that's what people think of when they think of our nation you know? And that's, and Tubbos the last connection we really have, I mean he, he said it himself, he's kind of you know… he's got nothing without it. I’ve heard of what Tommy, Tommys you know moved on and Jacks moved on and Niki’s moved on and everyones moved on at least partially… but Tubbo man, he's still……

R: Yeah he's still very strung up about it even though it's been awhile… He, he distracts himself with projects and everything which is nice but, you

W: Heh, projects

R: I mean yeah fortifications as well

W: I think he's gonna be alright

R: I hope so

W: I’m looking out for him. Anyway I want to say thank you Ranboo for you know trusting me this quick, I mean you barely know me

R: I mean, yeah

W: You barely have known me very long and you just know you’ve done all this with me and you’ve worked with me and I- I- you know I don’t I don’t know where I’d be without you here right now, man. T-Tommy’s great and all he's here and all but I don't wanna string him along too much because hes- I, when I look at him, when I look at him and he's helping me out and building things with me, I - I see the same eyes that looked at me when… when… there weren't some fun times in the ravine of Pogtopia I wasn't a very well man, and I can just see Tommy from that day…

oH!! Ranboo! This looks great man!

R: Yeah yea, I’ve made a couple of um changes to it. Added some stuff to it

W: Like I was saying though, I appreciate it, I really appreciate it.

R: Yeahh, yeah of course! Of course

W: May I ask, I know I’ve already asked this before but why do you trust me so fast? What's the…?

R: I mean I like to normally see the good in people and everything.

W: I know we’ve gone through that and you’ve made me cry just

R: Yeahhh, sorry about that, but I- I think the reason I think I know what it's like to have no one hurt or at least feel like no one trusts you.

W: Mhm

R: Um, and I- I’ve realised that if no one is with you, then how can anyone really know when you’ve redeemed yourself. So that's why I’m here

W: You wanna see the fireworks?

R: Well maybe not the fireworks but, I mean at least

W: Ceremonial

R: At least when you change er redeem yourself I think it- it's good to have someone there and it's not nice to be alone all the time so…

W: My boy! Ranboo, I knew

R: Yeah!

W: I knew I could trust you. We got the exact same mindset I’m thinking of ahh Ranboo I love what you have done with the burger van

R: Thank you, I’m glad you like it

W: I think this is going to be a beginning of a beautiful partnership,

R: Yeah!

W:beautiful friendship, and maybe when Tubbo comes we can you know have a big party and all get to know each other a bit better.

R: Yeah I can, I can talk with him I think and maybe get him to uh join hopefully

W: Yeah, don’t pressure him. He doesn't have to join, he just needs to come. I just want him to come and see our patented burgers!

R: Yeah!

W: Our burgers, our burger NFTS he needs to come and try them! Ranboo. Thank you man

R: You’re welcome, I’m glad that I could help out a little bit at least.

W: You’re a brilliant man and I'm going to go now a happy man.

R: That's good, I’m glad you’re happy.

W: Thank you Ranboo. Buh Bye. Ah, I love that guy bro!

[pinkjeanist]

“atop a hill of gold” || shouta aizawa

desc.: A pro hero comes to your shop for four shots of espresso after a long night. He leaves with just that, and then some. [1.6k words]

a/n: this fic has the soft energy that this song has. i named the fic after it but the title was weird so i named it after one of the lines. it’s from one of my favorite lgbt+ movies so theres that. i also havent written for aizawa so sorry if it’s eh. [navigation]

Coffee shops were for people who woke up at five in the morning, people who depended on coffee, and people who depended on coffee because they had to get up at five in the morning. They were also for the occasional tea-drinker, though as exam season rolled around, you were seeing significantly less of those people, or you watched those people become addicted to caffeine just to keep up with their studies. 

It wasn’t often you saw heroes when you were working, though. The shop was nestled between two taller buildings, and the only people who noticed it at all without a map were the shop’s regulars. So when the pro hero Eraserhead sulked through the doors that fateful early morning, you couldn’t help but be surprised.

The sun had just peeked over the buildings across the street, the last of the storm clouds from the night before making way for its grandeur, and the morning dew still clung fresh to the window. The unfamiliar man that had walked through the doors seemed so strangely out of place. Black hair, black outfit, a white scarf wrapped loosely around his neck atop of slouched shoulders. His whole being collided with the golden glow of the morning seeping past the hanging vines outside and above the shop window, as if he were the parallel to dawn. 

You recognized him, but you hadn’t seen much of him on the news- mostly because he worked primarily at night, and because he almost always managed to hide his face from the cameras with the cover of darkness. Because of this, you weren’t expecting him to be so handsome, nor so thoroughly exhausted-looking. The fatigue rolled off him in waves and nearly put everyone else in the shop to sleep. 

Your back straightened as he approached the counter. “Can I just get a black coffee? Four shots, please.”

“Ah. The worst combination of liquids in history for the best effects. What size?” 

“Large.”

“Of course,” You smiled. You put his order into the register. “You look like you’ve had a long night. No time for rest?”

“I’ve got classes to teach,” The hero sighed. You gave him his price and he handed over his money. 

You turned and started on his drink, but spoke before he could walk away from the counter: “Is it too weird to ask what you were doing all night?” 

“Uh...a little, but I’m used to weird,” He replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “It was just a villain. Took all night to track him down.”

“Wait, are you talking about that ‘Shadow Dweller’ dude? The one with the weird little mask?”

“Yeah, that one. It’s kind of hard to arrest someone who can just vanish into the shadows. Took a lot longer than I’d hoped but there’s not much else I could have done, I suppose.”

“His quirk kind of makes it seem like cheating. Pretty OP if you ask me.”

“I mean, you can’t really cheat at life. That’s just his quirk.”

“Look, I’m just saying, if I were a villain, I’d be throwing my manifesto pamphlets from the rooftops instead of sneaking around at night all the time. Kind of a dick move on his part.” The hero chuckled at that. You finished his shots and poured them in before adding some coffee from the pot. You added a few drops of honey to make it a bit more bearable to drink. 

A thought suddenly popped into your head with a heavy feeling on your chest. “Oh, fuck, you get a hero discount. I completely forgot, I’m sorry-” You apologized, hurrying to the register and setting his finished coffee on the counter in front of him, but he stepped forward to stop you.

“No, no, don’t- I don’t really care for the discount. Actually…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet again, taking an unknown amount of cash and sliding it into the jar by the register. “...I should probably give you more.”

“Uh-” Your eyes widened at the numbers on the bills in the jar. “-I mean- thank you so much, but why?”

He looked at you as if you should know. You gripped the edge of the counter. “It was nice to have a conversation with someone after a long night. And I had some cash to spare.”

“I don’t normally get tips for chatting with people. Usually I get some from old ladies when I put extra whipped cream on their drink.” He chuckled at that, and you smiled at the sound. “But really, it isn’t necessary. I don’t think I can accept this much money, as much as I’ve enjoyed talking to you-”

“-but you will. I’ve got no reason to take it back.” He sipped at his coffee and grimaced. You wondered how it didn’t scorch his tongue. “God, that tastes like shit…”

“I warned you,” You laughed, nearly giggling. He took another sip and seemed a bit more tolerant of it, that time. Your grip on the counter tightened as you leaned forward on it. You didn’t mean to look him up and down after that, but the side of you that was going crazy thirsting over him at the moment hoped that he noticed. “You should really try to find some time to rest. I can tell you do this often, and it’s really not healthy.” 

“I think I can go a few sleepless nights if it means keeping villains off the streets. And I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be.” You met his eye, and he seemed intent on keeping your gaze as he took another drink. You swallowed. Yes. He was really handsome. “I mean, if it ends up getting in the way of your teaching, that could reflect back on your students. Where do you teach, anyway?” 

He leaned his side on the counter and took another sip. “Yuuei.” 

You stuttered for an answer. “Oh- like. Like the school? For heroes?”

“That’s the one. You seem surprised.” 

“Oh, it was just like, uhm...a dream of mine to go there. When I was a kid, I mean. But I never got a quirk, and I started drinking coffee when I was a teen, so...thought I’d just get a business degree and do what I love. Or what I’m addicted to, anyway.” Most people gave you a pitiful look when you told them that little story, but he gave you a look of understanding, oddly enough, though you weren’t sure what someone with a quirk could understand about someone without one. 

He looked down at his drink. “I thought you might have had some sort of manipulation quirk. Altering flavors, something like that. I can kinda taste honey in this.”

“Oh, I did that, sorry. I used to add honey to those drinks all the time when I was cramming for exams in college. Makes it a bit more tolerable. You know.” 

“I know pretty well, yeah,” He agreed. He turned around to make sure there was no one in line before asking, “What’s your name?” 

It took you a moment to register the question before you answered it and asked in return, “What about you? Or do you just go by ‘Eraserhead?’”

“‘Aizawa’ is fine,” He smiled. You weren’t gonna tell him how much that name suited him. You were still on duty, after all.

After a moment of silent decision, he asked, “Can I have my receipt?” 

Your eyes widened. “Oh! I’m so sorry I forgot to ask, I’m just-” You pulled the receipt from the register and handed it to him. “-I’m a little distracted today, is all. I’ve been forgetting everything,” You laughed with an airy nervousness.

“Can’t imagine why,” He smirked at you. He set his drink on the counter. “Can I borrow your pen?” 

“Oh, yeah, of course,” You answered, turning around to the machines behind you to start on your own coffee. You were packing another shot when you heard the pen click closed. 

“I’ll see you around. Thanks for the coffee.” 

You turned around just to watch him leave for the doors before you could say anything. You noticed the receipt still laying on the counter. “Aizawa, your receipt-!” But he was already through the doors. If he heard you, he didn’t bother. You sighed and finished making your coffee. 

Grabbing a rag, you quickly wiped down the countertops before even looking at the receipt. You thought it was kind of a dick move of him to ask for his receipt and then just leave it behind for you to pick up. But when you did pick it up, you noticed the numbers scrawled at the bottom, along with the message: “I get off work at five. Don’t forget to call me” and a little doodle of what looked like a cat next to it. You guessed that was his signature. You made it his icon in your phone contacts.

You supposed Aizawa fit somewhere outside the lines of someone who came to coffee shops because they woke up at five, or because they depended on it, or because of a mix of both. He seemed like someone who came to coffee shops for reasons beyond that of coffee itself. And he definitely wasn’t the first- you’d seen people come to your shop and leave with someone else after a long chit-chat, or leave with someone’s number. You didn’t think you’d ever become one of those people, but you couldn’t complain. Especially when the person who gave you their number signed it with a cat doodle. 

-

taglist: @keigos-dove​ @knifeewifee​ @hanniejji​ @katsukis-sad-angel​ @wesparklebitch​ @bvnnyclouds​

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[robinisaghost]

animatic ideas :0 (ramble away, i would love to hear them!!)

mk thank you for enabling me, i will now be yelling

anyway

this is gonna be so obnoxiously long i am so sorry

can you add read more's on asks? eeeekkkk because this got so damn long lmao

mild dsmp spoilers obviously

this is the playlist, by the way

-im sorry boris (wilbur soot)

i think it would work really well with mmm slightly post lmanburg niki. andby slightly i mean. well when she leaves (that is the whole thing of the song gdfjkhgsdf) also side note at like 1 minute 11 on that song theres a discord notification really subtly in the background and it makes me paranoid every time i hear it. anyway god its such a nice song. even for just like. the end of lmanburg. not necesarily paired with a character, just the sense of leaving a place that was so highly populated before it got blown up twice and was like. the main part of the smp. yeah. anyway also the lines "they'll knock down the pubs before helping you...they'll let you jump under trains before helping you" yeah those four lines have big niki vibes but also i think the song could work well with exile tommy or actually even with the finale when tubbo is about to sacrifice himself? mmmmm yeah

-this is home (cavetown)

mmmm got exile tommy vibes innit. a lot of these have exile tommy vibes tbf i just like sad songs and also exile tommy. plus the song has a lot of like. the message is sort of like. changing yourself to appeal to others? like with "ill cut my hair to make you stare" but also the repeated thing of "ill figure out a way to get us out of here" which is clearly the main character of the song trying to help everyone when they are clearly not in a good way themself. yeah thats got big tommy vibes in general tbh but more like. pre finale tommy. i think he got a bit more independant after that.

-soldier poet king (the oh hellos)

ok this is self explanatory and has been done to death already but d a m n its kinda funky. anyway i had thoughts and actually started this but then lost motivation and deleted it all lmaooo. the only proof of its existance is a shitty storyboard in my draw which will hopefully never see the light of day again (unless anyone wants to see it :eyes:) anyway i had the thought of like. sbi? so soldier techno poet wilbur and king tommy. but tbf tommy and techno are kinda interchangeable with that, cos while techno is obviously the better fighter, tommy is used a lot, especially in lmanberg era and also i think he probably will be now that wilburs back

-pyjama pants (cavetown)

ok so i honestly dont remember why this is on the playlist but tbf this could go well with a bunch of characters. thinking like. phil and wilbur? or wil and tommy, or tubbo and ranboo are two that like. i know for a fact that i did not put the song on the playlist specifically for them but god thinking about it now it works so well with them

-boys will be bugs (cavetown)

OH BOY THERES A LOT OF CAVETOWN ON HERE HUH (i feel like that probably says something about me but shhhhhh we dont need to talk about that) ANYWAY

I think this could probably work really well with tommy? because of the whole like. trying really hard to come across as not caring about others, but really being like. very vunerable. but at the same time it could go really well with wilbur for the same reasons. also the song fucks ok cant deny it. to be fair i think it works better with tommy, because he's younger and also he really likes bugs (unless i am mistaken) which is just a cool coincidence but still)

-brother (kodaline)

FUCKKKKKKKKKKK THIS WORKS SO WELL WITH SO MANY CHARACTERS AND IS ALSO ***SO ANGSTY*** WHAT

anyway

i added it because of tommy and tubbo because holy shit, but also it could work very very well with wilbur and tommy, techno and wilbur, probably techno and tommy, and oh my god i just thought of this but this would work so well with phil and techno!!!! but yeah i originally thought tommy and tubbo because i thought it was a funny coincidence with exile tommy waking up underwater, and theres a line that says "if you were drowned at sea, id give you my lungs so you could breathe" and like. just thinking about the compasses especially. me gusta.

-feel better (penelope scott)

fundy. that is all.

no ok this works well with fundy but also probably karl sapnap and quackity, and also very much wilbur, like it works well with both. just mainly fundy idk why its got big fundy vibes tho. very poggers.

-as the world caves in (matt maltese)

ok but like this goes very very well with the explosions of lamberg. either of them. i think probably the first one is better, but i think it goes well with both. probably the first one, because it was way more emotional i think? cos it was the first time that their homes had been destroyed and everything, but also because it was so personal, because wilbur was the one who did it. i think that also it would work well if it was set during the explosion but also focussed on different facets? so like. one bit about wilburs perspective, one bit about tommys, one about phils, one about fundys maybe? idk just a bunch of lmaburg citizens' povs for this. its good. as the world caves in is a song that can be so gender tbh.

-do you hear the people sing? (les mis)

obvious obvious obvious...... but like..... also tbh it goes well with a bunch of things. like, mmmmm wilbur in pogtopia. the butcher army. lmaburg independance war (obviously ghdskj) but yeah. also this song just goes so hard like b r u h

-wolf in sheeps clothing (set it off, william beckett)

SO MANY OF THESE ARE LIKE. PRETTY OBVIOUS IF YOUVE HEARD THE SONG

but yeah. it would go so well with like. well any betrayal basically. so eret, from tommys pov maybe, or about wilbur from nikis pov, or wilbur from anyone pov tbf, or quackity from charlie/purpled/foolish/sams pov, or sam from tommys pov, really it works well with so many people which says a lot about the characters tbh but shhhhhhhhhhhh

-need you here (idkhow)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

mk mk mk mk FUNDY AND WILBUR THO

like b r u h that works so well with them

also i started this one as well but didnt like it, theres a story board in my draw as well for it because like. oh my god its such a good idea i just am shit at animating and don't have a decent enough program :')

also also

the line "daddy has to go, and that makes me sad, but daddy will always come back, he promised" fuckkkkkk that works so well with like. say for example, idk, when they're celebrating schlatts death and wilbur leaves to press the button? the sheer fucking angst of that is enough to kill any one person istg that is in fact the entire reason why i started the animatic in the first place. just that line. also all the lines sung by the child voice. fuckin angsty as hell. also ust generally a banging song, as is every idkhow song

-green (cavetown)

another cavetown song huh. ok sure.

mk so wilbur and sally and fundy. like. for a start, the imagry of a fish at the start? boom sally.

anyway the lines "you looked so good in green, i hope you're well, and you look so good with him, (schlatt ig?) and I'm proud of you still (wilburrrr and fundyyyy) i miss your perfect teeth, i was too blunt, i hope you feel happy, that's all I want"

FUCKKKK

the whole song is about missing someone you used to love and only hoping the best for them!!!! and wishing that they are happy and safe!!!!!!!!!!! and hoping they still think about you!!!!! but even if they dont its fine because all you want is for them to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-achilles come down (gang of youths)

OK I THOUGHT IT COULDNT GET ANGSTIER

so like. tw suicide but thats what the entire song is about and bing bang boom i just think it works so so so so so so so well with not only exile tommy (who obviously did try to kill himself) but also wilbur in a slightly more metaphorical way? so like. his self destructive habits leading him to a point where he had no choice other than to kill himself and to take his country down with him. and its all about other characters trying to help them and persuade them not to but also near the end there is a second voice trying to persuade them to go along with it, which im thinking like. if its wilbur, either dream or maybe just himself. his own brain persuading him to continue down the path that would inevitably lead to his and his countries destruction. also it works well with schlatt for the same reasons, except he doesnt want to die. maybe (since the song is so goddamn long) like. one verse for tommy one for wilbur and one for schlatt? dead gang poggg but also like. the verses cover fairly different things which work with one character but not so much the others, for example the first verse would be tommy because its mainly about persuading the person to not kill themself (which tommy did himself but shhh) the second for schlatt because its literally about drinking and smoking away your problems, and the third for wilbur since its more of a fight between the "good" and the "bad" sides, which is obviously what wilbur was experiencing. also obviously i have a soft spot for this song because its string instruments and french, basically my favourite combination ever (also i like his voice idfk lmao)

ANYWAY THATS ALL THE SONGS ON THERE SO FAR

i literally thought of another song while i was in the shower today but i dont remember which it was but a n y w a y the playlist will most definitely be getting longer, especially since there are so many more songs that are good for this but i just havent added them yet lmao. anyway ive been writing this for like an hour gsdfjhgdhfsg but still oh my god this was fun to write