#i actually don't know if it's the 21st or 22nd

[socialiseisnotinmyname]

Happy 2 years Anniversary to episode: EMOTION🦚🩸🌕🎶🕺

(By Gloob's air date!!! when they LEAKED the episode themself)

[yapping alert]

Really sorry for not posting for a while but I knew I had to get my sh#t done when I remember the release date- or when the episode got leaked? whatever cus I have it in my notes since like the start of the year

When the bird boy showed up and start flaunting around Paris (as he should) with his song and dance and I got encased more with his character by his emotions hahagetit he showed. It so RAW and He's so free and Can set Adrien free and it goes all out in this big "Everything I did, I did for you" like Yes that's what happens when a child in need doesn't get the needs and-

ok I need to stop before I yap about how I think Felix will let his emotions get to him and lashed out at first to regret it terribly and he thinks that he fucked up everything and there's is no redeeming this and guilt just piles up on him like-ouUuuhHh..just need to get that out

Oh what are we talking about? OH YEA so I know I had to get that done and I did and I hope guys liked it as much as I had fun drawing it(#> □ <#)

(Also half-way through rendering Fe's face I realised it looks like I put make-up on him and I'm like "What if I actually put a full face of make up on him" and I did... lmk if you see it *wink* *wink*)

[chirpsythismorning]

WSQK Update

The Twitter account for WSQK Radio has reached 100(ish) songs! And while it's currently unknown whether or not this account is in any shape or form associated with Stranger Things, I still want to give a breakdown about it as well as some reasons why this account intrigues me so much, because there are actually quite a few.

For some context about when and how this started, it might be helpful to know that the first (un)official leak regarding the existence of the WSQK filming location occurred on January 18th, the day prior to WSQK making their first post.

That same Friday when WSQK made their first post, fans also got official 'Week 2' BTS from Ross, which more openly acknowledged the existence of the radio station location in comparison to his previous posts for s5.

What then followed was a rocky start in terms of this Twitter account’s approach at making posts. Initially, they only made posts consisting of lyrics, followed by another post with a short clip of the song those previous lyrics came from.

After less than a week of the account being sporadically active, they became very consistent and continued their roll-out of lyrics + video, and then adding in + dialogue, every single day. There are a few outliers, with them not making a post on March 14th and March 20th, but the first time they had a big break in between posts was from March 22nd-March 24th, notably with their March 21st's post being related to Will's birthday:

After the March 21st post, and with their return on the 25th, they officially switched it up from posting every day, to every other day, and more recently with a consistency of every 2-3ish days.

But still, over 5 months later (roughly 156 days), they remain active.

When it comes to the type of posts this account interacts with, they stick to strictly liking and sometimes retweeting/replying vaguely to posts regarding the WSQK location, along with liking the posts of anyone that replies to their posts.

After some time though, I noticed they began posting songs that they already posted before, just with different lyrics and lines from the show along with them. This actually makes sense given that they are acting as a radio station, where songs are known for playing and replaying numerous times.

Which brings me to the most interesting aspect about WSQK, which is that while a good chunk of the songs posted have featured on the show at some point, there are also a decent amount that have not.

Here is a playlist of the songs for reference:

Here are some songs specifically that pique my interest. Some I will elaborate on, while others I might just share and let you figure out for yourself why I think they're worth mentioning.

This song was originally the third song they posted, though it was removed about a week later. Hard to tell why exactly they removed it. Maybe since it was still early on. they mixed something up and decided to get rid of it? Regardless, lyrically there could be some significance to this song choice.

Since we've obviously heard Kate featured on the show already, I don't think it would be too hard for a fan to include this. Though, it being added this early on is an interesting choice to me. Lyrically a song like many on this playlist that I think have a specific meaning which could fit quite well with a potential storyline in s5. It is also one of quite a few songs that have been posted at least twice.

While this song did feature in s3 and s4, this song is one of many that are unlisted for the show. It doesn't feature on any official soundtrack or playlist and so you'd have to already know it to recognize it or go out of your way to search it for yourself. And the meaning is also ummmm... yeah.

I actually got barely any results when looking into this song and its lyrics. Though I did discover that it is most known for featuring in an episode of Miami Vice in 1986.

I could only share 10 songs here, so if you want to look at more or even all of them, I highly recommend taking a look, even if it's only out of mere curiosity. I do plan on going through and confirming all the songs one by one again because I probably mixed up or missed one or two (or more). Scrolling down a Twitter account until their first tweet is not exactly fun, but this should be accurate for the most part!

Something else I want to mention is that @erikiara80, who also keeps an eye on the account, noticed a while ago that they have always followed 11 people, some fans and some connected to the show. There was one time they unfollowed some accounts and then instantly followed some others, keeping them at 11 follows, which means the number could be an intentional choice.

A while ago, it hit me that, if this is a hypothetical radio station, wouldn't they also take requests? So Erika helped me with that by requesting two for them to post, getting this reply:

And they did in fact eventually post those two songs requested... I'll let you guess which ones :)

Basically, I felt the need to bring this whole ordeal back to the conversation now, not because I am convinced that it is run by someone connected to the show, but because the eeriness around it persists.

Keeping something going on this long would not only require someone to be very consistent, but to also have the willpower to not go over the top interacting with fans (which I don't think most fans have the self control to not take advantage of). This account doesn't seem to have any bias towards anything. In fact they remain completely impartial, sticking to their script. They seem fine with remaining in the shadows with fans assuming they are insignificant or otherwise, all while keeping the act going almost a half a year later.

With s5 getting no promotion outside of Ross's (sometimes) weekly BTS photo-dumps, this season's roll-out has been almost non-existent. Usually we would get phone numbers to call and obsess over, even 1-2 years out from release, and yet nothing.

I find this approach interesting because it does honestly resemble something I could picture the show doing to hype up s5. If the radio station is going to be a prominent location, then it offers up a really creative way to interact with fans as a way to promote the show.

Them humbly leaving hints about the final season through songs via a ‘radio station’, could parallel similarly to easter egg like approaches they've presented in the past. Only this time (the last time) it would have existed and built up for months with most not knowing about it, offering up a sleuth different songs fans could dig into if it was ever revealed to be promotion for s5.

With their being whispers that we could get something revealed in regards to s5 very soon, and with this playlist finally reaching 100 songs, I thought I would celebrate and remind ya'll it still exists in case you need an excuse to overanalyze something new.

[desmos-calculator]

I was thinking about those posts I sometimes see about dates being an equation (you know the ones), and was thinking, is there a year where that happens the least? maybe even one where it doesn't happen?

Well, I don't think I'd be qualified to cover every function that uses two inputs, and I would assume every function is quite a few and probably would cover every day

So, I'll be sticking to the basic 4,+,-,× and ÷, since that's what I see most common with those posts

First step is to get a list of all the dates (I should clarify, from the Gregorian calendar, since that's the most common dating system I see from those posts), which is pretty easy, just make it yourself! you know how the months work... right?

right?

Anyways, we have a list now! two, in fact, so we can put our days and months separately

Now, we just apply the functions and,

meh, could be prettier, now, we gotta consider that negative years don't exist yet, less so something like XX negative 19, so those extra spots below, gotta go

We also need to consider that years such as XX 100 would theoretically someday exist, but we're just gonna assume you're only looking at the last 2 digits, so, BEGONE!

And don't forget about the year XX 02.75, that was the best year... for all of us that used a different calendar system, so I'm going to need to ask you numbers to LEAVE!

And that should be all the house keeping we need to do, let's collapse em down

woooah, coolio, let's color them based on the group come from

preeeetty, someone should crochet that

Now, you may think "Hey, he left out my favourite day, [February 29th], How could he????!!!!!"

Well, 2+29=31, which can't be a leap year, 2-29 is negative, so no, not possible, 2/29 is a fraction, and 2*29=58, which is NOT a leap year

so, to anyone guessing dates that can never work, congrats, you won!

we can also see what years work with each function

with division ending the lowest, since all it does is decrease, we find the last date to be XX14, on 28th February, ironic. sorry y'all didn't notice it til it was too late.

for subtraction? the last date will be... 30th January 2029! Get your cakes (uh, funeral cakes?) ready for the last date possible for subtraction in.... 4 years time?!?! jesus, time flies, huh?

uhmm, for addition, we find the final day to be 30th December XX42! woa

and the multiplication goes til the end, being the year XX99, dated November 9th...... ANYWAYS

the year of most functional dates will be XX12 with the dates:

11th Jan (11+1=12), 12th Jan(12*1=12), 13th Jan(13-1=12),

6th Feb (6*2=12), 10th Feb (10+2=12), 14th Feb (14-2=12),

24th Feb (24/2=12), 4th March (4*3=12), 9th March (9+3=12),

15th March (15-3=12), 3rd April (3*4=12), 8th April (8+4=12),

16th April (16-4=12), 7th May (7+5=12), 17th May (17-5=12),

2nd June (2*6=12), 6th June (6+6=12), 18th June (18-6=12),

5th July (5+7=12), 19th July (19-7=12), 4th August (4+8=12),

20th August (20-8=12), 3rd September (3+9=12),

21st September (21-9=12), 2nd October (2+10=12),

22nd October (22-10=12), 1st November (1+11=12),

23rd November (23-11=12), 1st December (1*12=12),

and finally... 24th December (24-12=12)

awesome

the years with no days are all primes after XX43, since if it had any factors, it'd work for multiplication

except, I lied, XX58, XX62, XX74, XX82, XX86 and XX94 are all not prime, yet have 0 days, since they're divisible by 2 but the other factor is bigger than 30

except, I lied again, XX58 is actually the only one with a potentially real day, being february 29, as we mentioned earlier.

"BUT WAIT, WHAT ABOUT m/d/y? WHAT ABOUT THE AMERICAN SYSTEM?!?!"

hghhghghg

graaaaah, the division section barely exists

woah, separation, around the x=y line too, with the same shape no less

except, BOOM, i lied to you, AGAIN.

you see, this shape is actually skinner than the original one

you actually only lose potential dates by switching to the other system, and here's how many you lose

The years that lose the most are XX13, XX14, XX15 with 13 missing days, and we'll reach a consensus for amount of days working with math in XX32! the perfect number to end on

but also, this system gives us our earliest year ending with a multiplicative date, being 1st December XX12 (XX12 was a great year for functions, huh)

So, when's the next functional date? well, we missed 13th November, so mark your calendars for 12th December!!

So, what did we learn?

Well, I mean, I guess you can brag about knowing when the next date that's a math equation.

and also the tragedy that is 29th February XX58...

Suggest other calendar systems, and I'll look into them!

[leatherbookmark]

@labyrynth ok i have to reply like this because i am NOT going to be able to explain myself in a reply field.

so i'm polish and basically we don't really use "am" or "pm", more like "in the morning", "in the afternoon", "in the evening" and "at night". when you learn english, they explain that "am" is sorta like "before noon/in the morning", and "pm" is like "in the afternoon". but it's not quite that! it's been a good while since i had to bother thinking about 12hrs format in english, so i just. forgot that 12hrs format is Special

noon being "12pm" makes no sense to me, because noon is after the "morning" hours: there's 10 in the morning, 11 in the morning, and 12, the noon. it would make more sense for the noon to be 12am! similarly, 12pm should be midnight, because it's "in the afternoon", technically. it's after noon. it's after the first 12 that was the noon. cmon.

and so i assumed that when you have 10pm and 12pm, well, 12pm would be 2 hours after 10pm. alas

and "24" is there only in speech as a concept! 22, 23, and 24 meaning midnight. there's no "0 o'clock" in speech, it's either "12 at night", "24" or "midnight". but i said "24" because i had problems with the hours wrt the day, so "00:00" is "midnight that begins that day" and 24 is "midnight that ends the day". my brain is gone now btw

once again I lost the battle against timezones and the 12-hour clock system

[serpentface]

What intervals of the year do the -mache signs correspond to? Assuming the same length as an earth year. I want to know my horoscope...

I did give it the 365 day length. Presume everything about this planet is functionally earthlike (besides the three moons, which just so happen to be the exact size/mass/distance that perfectly balances out into things still being earthlike, probably not possible, too late to retcon three moons out, don't worry about it)

The Wardi zodiac assigns signs based on when the constellation and its 'field' (buffer of space between each) passes through the ecliptic, (rather than dividing the ecliptic into even spans and assigning a roughly correspondent sign, as in the western zodiac). IE: Only the tail of the Lion passes through and thus its period is very short (6 days), while the entirety of the Gull's wingspan passes through and thus its period is very long (34 days).

I'll add equivalent dates in the western calendar. It's unlikely that zodiac dates would just so happen to align perfectly to the start and end of the western calendar, but the it doesn't exist in-universe and the zodiac dates don't align neatly to the Wardi calendar year so it's fine . Whatevr.

---

Catfish: January 1st-23rd

Crow: January 24th-February 4th

Duck (associated with Anaemache): February 5th-24th

Polecat: February 25th-March 11th

Hare: March 12th-April 1st

Khait (associated with Inyamache): April 2nd-April 23rd

Scorpion: April 24th-May 9th

Aurochs (associated with Mitlamache): May 10th-23rd

Rat: May 24th-June 9th

Pheasant: June 10th-24th

Dog: June 25th-July 4th

Dragon: July 5th-23rd

Lion (associated with Odomache): July 24th-29th

Horse: July 30th-August 15th

Leviathan: August 16th-September 12th

King Hyena: September 13th-21st

Gull (associated with Pelennaumache): September 22nd-October 25th

Gazelle: October 26th- November 15th

Ox (associated with Ganmache): November 16th-December 3rd

Snake (associated with Kusomache): December 4th-31st

---

You can read about meaning ascribed to each sign here:

Note that Imperial Wardin uses a generalized solar calendar consisting of 13 total months (twelve thirty-day months and one five-day month (6 on leap years)), and a separate lunar calendar with specifically ritual functions (most holidays occur along the lunar calendar).

The solar calendar starts its first month at roughly the seasonal equivalent of September (when most of the latest seasonal crops have been harvested, the earliest are being planted, and the rainy season typically begins), the new years holiday is actually Celebrated on the first new moons of the first month (and thus its date changes year by year), and the solar year ends with the five-day month.

[dribs-and-drabbles]

This Week in The TCW

Feb 16th - Feb 22nd

It's been a quiet one this week, with no shared clothing being used in the airing shows (although I know there is one in the Jack & Joker special ep, but I'll have to wait until it gets released internationally to write about it). Also, I've been wondering if I should be calling this 'Last Week in The TCW' to avoid confusion...but that's for me to ponder on.

Feb 16th - Not a BL but...

The OST MV for Ossan's Love Thailand was released on Monday and featured this popular shirt (which comes in two colours). It was also used in the We Are OST MV, Only Friends, Century of Love, Summer Night, and Love Sea's vlog. I think it will also be used in My Golden Blood. (Incidentally, Pooh Krittin has also worn Earth's/Heng's white and blue shirt from the Ossan's Love Thailand OST MV in a tiktok video - maybe for the fanmeet in Macau? - which I saw thanks to @scarefox.)

Feb 21st - Not exactly the same shirt but...

It seems a new stripy pattern is becoming popular. I wasn't going to mention these shirts because none of them are actually the same (not that it's stopped me before but there are always at least two identical shirts for me to group them as one) but when I saw Jun in yet another similar one in ThamePo this week, I thought it was worth it...(and you should be able to spot yet another similar-but-not-the-same shirt in ep 8 of Ossan's Love Thailand in this current week, which I'll write about in next week's post).

Historical Discoveries

And finally, this post by @nabi-unveiled made me realise why the Captain's shirt looked familiar in ep 12 of The Heart Killers...I had seen it only eleven days earlier in ep 2 Flirt Milk.

Tagged by request: @my-rose-tinted-glasses @benkaben @pigglepiephi If anyone else would like to be tagged to make sure you don't miss these posts then let me know.

[solacescastleglow]

March "Challenge": Frum Life

(Challenge is in air quotes because for many people this is just how they live, and I don't want to make it seem like I'm only doing this as a challenge. If anything it's more of a trial run.)

I'm lucky that I live within walking distance of a synagogue, but it's Orthodox; this prompted me to consider how difficult life would be if I chose to convert Masorti as I originally planned. That set me off on a journey of figuring out what I actually want out of conversion, and weighing the pros and cons of how involved Orthodox life is, what an Orthodox conversion could give me (good and bad), etc.

So I decided, why not try out the daily life I would sustain during and after conversion to see if it's the right fit for me? I'm giving it a fair go, but it's a lot more involved than I'm used to so I won't be surprised if I mess up. The good thing about not having converted yet (despite it being 7 years now since I started the process) is that I'm not bound to all these things. This is a grace period for messing up.

Set up

Buying everything I need to keep kosher (new plates, cutlery, frying pan) - my family rarely eats meat and I don't eat it at all, so I'd only need to replace things that get meat on them

Printing out essential blessings/prayers (Shema, Modeh Ani, Asher Yatzar, etc.) and putting them where I need them to be

Putting post it notes on the doorframes in place of mezuzot - I don't feel ready yet to have real ones, and this allows me to get into the habit of touching them

Getting a membership to a synagogue - I'm very lucky that the closest one to me has the option for monthly payments

Daily things

This morning routine except I won't be doing Netilat Yadayim right beside the bed (I have a cat who loves to knock things over)

Morning blessings and Amidah

Daily tzedakah (I plan on having a subaccount in my bank account for this, and at the end of the month I'll donate)

All the blessings I can, my goal is 50 a day (I don't wanna overestimate myself with 100)

Shema before bed

Shabbat and preparing for it

Hopefully I'll be able to plan on Thursday and Friday morning so I'm not panicking 10 minutes before candle lighting time

For hot water - boil it just before Shabbat starts and put it in a thermos

For toasting frozen bread - toast before Shabbat starts, let it cool, then put it in a ziplock bag (assuming my parents will be out on Saturday morning)

I live with my parents (not Jewish), so I don't have to worry about lights, toast if they're home, etc. Built in Shabbos goyim! (in exchange for not having family to share this with :c )

Going to shul on the Friday evening and Saturday morning, obviously

Honestly, I'm gonna have a pretty hard time with no electronics, but I keep reminding myself that I can do hard things

Misc.

I'll be keeping Shabbat on the 21st-22nd of February to make up for the fact I have an important prior commitment on the 1st that I made before I knew I'd be doing this

There are some limitations to this, mostly to do with the fact I don't own everything necessary to fully practice. I have enough things that it shouldn't disrupt my life too much, but no mezuzot, dedicated challah boards/knives/covers, havdalah set, etc.

---

If you noticed that I missed anything, please let me know! I really wanna do this right.

[tobiasdrake]

For the hypothetical live action Dragonball movie, how do you think they'd change the 22nd Budokai?

By itself, the 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai is a pretty concise little story so I don't think a lot of changes to it would be necessary to fit a movie. I do think I would want to emphasize Tenshinhan as the narrative centerpiece.

Do the "Antagonist is secretly actually the protagonist" trick. The 22nd Tenkaichi Budokai is about Ten's emotional journey more than anything else, so the movie should reflect that. We'd open with Ten and Chiaotzu's training under Tsuru-sennin, get to know them a bit as the Cobra Kai of this movie and have Tsuru-sennin abruptly inform them that they will be competing in the tournament.

This movie is a character piece. And while it has pretentions of being about the rivalry between schools, it's really about the passing of generations.

If possible, I would want this setup to be rich with parallels to the 21st Tenkaichi Budokai movie. When Tsuru-sennin announces that we're going to the Tenkaichi Budokai, it should feel like a dark reflection of the Muten-Roshi telling Goku and Krillin the same.

Then, after Tsuru-sennin makes that announcement, credits roll and we move over to Bulma and everyone on their way to the tournament.

Really want to play up the rivalry between what is essentially a schismatic fracture that's based in the same martial roots. Both teachers learned from the same master but implement what they learned very differently.

Keeping in mind that two key points we're driving towards are:

1 - The end of Jackie Chun, as the Muten-Roshi puts an end to his charade and leaves the future of his students for them to decide.

2 - Tenshinhan ultimately deciding to walk his own path and follow neither master.

Ten, in this movie, is caught in a philosophical tug-of-war but the secret to that is that neither Tsuru-sennin nor the Muten-Roshi is entirely correct. Tsuru-sennin is a cruel, selfish pragmatist who cares only about glorifying himself. And Roshi is lying to his own students because he thinks he needs to trick the younger generation into caring about martial arts.

In the end, neither of these men knows everything. Neither of them is a flawless master. They're both just... flawed old men watching the world leave them behind, reacting to it in different ways. Tsuru-sennin desperate to recapture his glory and the Muten-Roshi believing in principle in passing down his wisdom to future generations but reluctant to surrender control.

Roshi has a character arc in this movie too; He wants to hand the future over to the young but deep down there is a reluctance to actually do it and step aside. Retirement is always another three years away.

His meaningful forfeiture to Tenshinhan is his own moment of revelation and change. Since Bulma knows about Jackie Chun due to her involvement in the Namu resolution, she can help drive that conflict.

There is wisdom to be found in both masters' teachings. But maybe neither of them is equipped to decide what kind of person Tenshinhan should become.

Goku, in this film, has the Flat Character Arc. His place here isn't to grow or change but to be the catalyst for growth and change. He is already correct from the start of the film, and his journey is inadvertently about bringing others around to his correct way of thinking.

Between the two schools, we have the Crane kids Tenshinhan and Chiaotzu and we have the Turtle kids Yamcha and Krillin. And we have their two masters, Tsuru-sennin and the Muten-Roshi, who sharply divided their master Mutaito's teachings.

And then there's Goku. Goku who is grateful to the Muten-Roshi for all that he's learned from him, but who adapts and evolves his fighting style with every opponent he faces. Who learns as much from his rivals as he does from his teachers but follows his own course.

Goku loses the tournament but he wins the tug-of-war for Tenshinhan's soul, without even really knowing that he was competing in that.

[apprenticestanheight]

THE FIVE DAYS OF SMUTMAS QUEUE: DAY TWO

Work Shirts - Lawrence Gordon x gn! reader

All right!! This is day two of my silly little christmas celebration, and of course I had to do what I've been procrastinating since basically the start of this account--write a Lawrence reader insert piece!

I love him wholeheartedly despite my lack of fics for him so this has definitely been a long time coming, and this one, much like yesterdays fic, stems from a thought I had—though with this thought, @mrkheartffmans and I went a lil feral together through the reblogs of the original post and thus, the fic concept came to light!

This is also a few years post trap because I was like "yeah working somewhere for a decade is cool but what about a decade and a half??" also—my mentality was that having it set a few years post-trap would be easier to write?? I don't know how true that actually is but it was my thought process lol.

This fic is for audiences of 18+, so minors, do not interact!

Fic type- this is mostly--almost entirely--smut. There's also angst if you squint because yeah, angst was bound to be present somewhere lol

Warnings- unprotected sex (reader is on BC), and as per usual, the reader is GN for all intents and purposes (petnames included), but I went with AFAB anatomy as that's the anatomy that I know best.

Lawrence wishes he could act like the surprise on the faces of his coworkers when he mentioned having the last two weeks of December off came as a surprise to him, but he can't and he kind of hates that.

Of course people are bound to be a little surprised by it. In the decade and a half that he's worked at Angels of Mercy, the only incident where he took any sizeable amount of time off was while he was recovering from the bathroom trap and could hardly stand, let alone walk like he used to.

But, in the three years since the bathroom trap and aside from that month long period where he allowed himself to recover before going back to work, he'd not taken a single day away. Being at work, seeing to patients and talking to people—even just going to work and filling out miscellaneous paperwork while he sat in the isolation of his office—kept his mind busy and his hands busier.

He came home from work every night and saw you, which just made his entire day as it were. You'd order food or make something quick and just spend your time lounging on the couch, occasionally get a little flirty, and laugh when Lawrences hands started wandering how they used to in the days of your masters degree and his days of medical school.

But, because of a backlog of PTO and the fact that he'd been overworking himself almost to the bone with the onslaught of people needing medical care during the last three months of the year, Lawrence decided to book the 14th through to the 2nd of January off so that he could get some rest and worry about housework so that you didn't have to worry at all, where you normally split the housework fifty-fifty.

Lawrence knew that your marketing job got really, really stressful during the last month of the year. People always unearthed different versions of themselves come the holidays, and all he wanted was for you to come home from your workday and not have to worry about menial things like a messy bathroom counter, week-old leftovers in need of throwing away or dishes not yet moved from the dishwasher to the cupboards.

He gets called into work for an emergency on the 21st, and after running to grab groceries during the afternoon on the 22nd, he's delighted to find what he does waiting for him in the bed you share.

You're typically home from work at around seven, sometimes eight thirty on particularly busy days, and when Lawrence arrives home, it's half past eight.

He goes into your bedroom, having indeed hoped to see you there or at least get a call about work running late with the promise of more details upon your arrival at home as he enters your shared bedroom, but what he sees is so much better than anything he could've hoped for.

You're sitting on the bed, back pressed against the head board, focused on whatever romance book you'd plucked from a charity bookstore on your way home, but it's not what you're reading that Lawrence really takes note of.

No, it's not the book at all, though he does note that the title makes it seem like something from either the regency or the victorian era. It's what you're wearing.

You're wearing the shirt he wore to work the previous day, buttons undone with the cufflinks you'd gifted him for christmas the year his residency ended still holding the sleeves of the shirt together, the duvet covering your legs and hips, which makes Lawrence assume you've stolen a pair of his sweatpants in addition to the shirt.

He knocks, lightly, on the side of the door, and you startle, looking up to the source of the knock and relaxing the minute you see his face.

"You startled me," you say, grinning and closing your book over your thumb so as not to lose your place. "I remember you told me you'd be getting groceries around when I would get home, so I stole one of your shirts and settled in. Figured we could order Thai food or something to that effect, have a late dinner and relax."

Lawrence runs his tongue over his lips, notices the keen way with which you watch him do it.

"Yeah," he grins, further enters the room. "That sounds lovely. I grabbed the last of the necessary ingredients for dinner Christmas Day so that you wouldn't have to worry—I know that work has been something of a mess for you lately and I want to make sure you have the opportunity to relax when you come home."

He approaches the bed, watches you place the book you'd been reading open on your nightstand beneath the lamp.

"I don't deserve you," you laugh.

You've been dating since you were starting up with your masters a year after getting your bachelors degree when you were twenty-three and Lawrence was two years into medical school at twenty-four.

You've been married since you were twenty-five and twenty-six, and seventeen years down the line, you both knew that marrying each other was the best possible thing either of you could've done with regard to the romantic part of your lives, and while you were married you ended up doing the best possible things for your respective careers so it worked in both of your favors regardless.

You were Lawrences rock, especially so in the aftermath of the bathroom trap, and he was yours and would be such forevermore.

"You're right," he says, moving away from the bed to grab a pair of sweatpants. "You deserve more, but I do strive to be what you deserve day in and day out."

"Don't say that," you chide. "You're perfect, Lawrence. I wouldn't've married you had I thought otherwise, I promise."

He can feel your gaze on him as he slips out of the khaki pants he wears, deciding to go commando and put a pair of light gray sweatpants on for comfort. He changes out of the black button up he'd chosen to wear, pulls a baggy dark blue Henley over his torso and climbs into bed beside you, pressing kiss after kiss down the line of your jaw and across your neck.

"How stressful has work been?" He asks, tone genuine but also slightly seductive.

"Oh, so stressful," you laugh, knowing exactly what he's doing and the fact that seeing you in one of his shirts and just one of his shirts has spurred that on by a mile. "I think if I have to hear one more coworker complaining about last minute shopping during the last few days before Christmas Eve or even on Christmas Eve in and of itself, I will start causing heads to roll. December is the worst time to be in the offices because everyone stops caring about year-end quotas and making sure things are good going into next year and starts caring about whatever gossip is being spread around. It's dreadful, Lawrence."

He pauses, looking at you with genuine sympathy in his gaze. "I'm sorry—I feel gross. I didn't mean to attempt to proposition you for sex like that. I really do want to hear about your day and I'm sorry it's been so terrible, my love. Are you going to book time off?"

You grin. Lawrence is ever-so considerate, always apologizing and stepping back if he's done something in a way that he doesn't appreciate midway through.

"You're going to be stuck with me from tomorrow through to the second," you say. "And—for the record, I didn't hate it. I like it when you proposition me for sex with kisses because your kisses are quite honestly one of the best parts of being married to you. Plus, I have had a stressful month and I won't lie and say that my current outfitting was just for comfort. Sure, bare ass on satin sheets is an amazing feeling, but I was hoping that I'd get the reaction I did, admittedly."

Lawrence tilts his head inquisitively. "You're not—you're—I thought you'd taken a pair of my sweatpants," he grins, moves a hand to your thigh. Sure enough, it's bare. "Oh, Christmas must've come early."

You laugh. "You fuckin' wish," you say, ignoring the goosebumps that Lawrences touch brings on.

You unbutton the few buttons done up on the shirt, press your back against the headboard.

"Stressful month, yeah baby?" Lawrence is almost beaming as his hand moves from your thigh to your stomach, lazily perusing up your chest.

You clench your jaw, squeeze your arms against your sides because you are not going to give in to your handsome husband and his illustrious whims just with a few touches and some whispered sentiments.

"So stressful, Lawrence," you nod. "So, so stressful."

"Do you need a way to destress?" His thumb and first finger locate your nipple, and you exhale a breathy moan, quiet and already wanting to give in to his whims. "If you do, I think I could be of assistance."

"Lawrence," you moan, quiet and needy. "Oh, fuck, Lawrence."

Lawrence moves his hand away from you for a second, only to take off his shirt and the sweatpants he wears before he's back to kissing your neck and letting his hands roam across your chest.

A few minutes of much the same passes by, Lawrences kisses lining your neck and jawline and face and your ethereal lips while he rolls your nipples between his fingers. His hand dips to your folds for just a few minutes, taking your slick onto his fingers and laughing against your shoulder.

"You're so wet for me already," he says. "Fuck, you're perfect."

"Wanna ride you," you're almost stunned at how evenly the words fall from your lips but not at all stunned when Lawrence agrees.

He pulls you onto his lap, lets you grind against his half-hard cock until it's fully hard and you're begging to feel him inside of you and moans when you bottom out, gaze watching you intently as his hands settle on your hips.

"Lawrence," you whisper. "Fuck."

A smile spreads onto Lawrences face before he can stop it, and when you start riding him, he presses his back against the headboard, one hand on your hip while the other lightly holds your chin so as to keep your gaze on his.

You get lost in how good it feels within the space of a minute, maybe two—Lawrence's cock is long and thick, and even if riding it takes some adjusting occasionally, it still becomes very enjoyable very quickly.

"You're so wonderful for me, Y/N," he says. "Oh, this never gets old."

He's loving how you feel around him, clenching occasionally and moaning after a particularly deep thrust that hits your g-spot, and you're just—it's just perfect.

And then, Lawrence gets an idea. He moves the hand that's cupping your face to your wrist, which is attached to the hand that you use to grope relentlessly at yourself, rolling your nipples between your thumb and first finger, sometimes moving to rub your clit.

"The cufflinks, baby," he says. "Don't touch yourself, mm? Use those for me."

He watches you press the cold silver cufflink against one of your nipples, moans as you clench around him at the sensation of the cold meeting your warm skin. You moan in turn, pressing the metal against your nipples and moaning his name.

He moves a hand back to your chin, placing his first and middle finger against your bottom lip. You take the hint immediately and bring his fingers into your mouth, grinding down onto him as you do.

"You're so good for me, pet," he says, moving the hand that rests on your hip to your clit. He starts rubbing it with practiced expertise, knowing the way you like it best after nearly two decades of marriage. "Oh, this is amazing. You can steal my work shirts whenever you want, okay? Especially the ones with the cufflinks. You're amazing."

You moan at the praise, pressing the cufflinks against yourself further, loving the way that the metal feels against your sensitive nipples.

He takes his fingers out of your mouth and goes back to holding your chin so as to keep your gaze on his, wanting to watch you orgasm.

You come completely undone when Lawrence speeds up his ministrations on your clit just enough to make you want more, and Lawrence watches.

You thrust your way through the aftershocks, at which point Lawrence releases into you and lets your chin free from his light grip, kissing you and offering praise as he does.

He pulls you off of him and gets a bath set up, helping you into it while giving you more praise and pressing kisses along the back of your neck and shoulder blades because the orgasm had left you both completely and totally breathless.

You bathe in light conversation, once again talking about your days but focusing on the more positive parts, and Lawrence lets you steal a Henley from the days of medical school. You pull a pair of boxers on and curl up in bed next to him, falling asleep only seconds before Lawrence does.

[sjsmith56]

Assignment Bucky Barnes, Chapter 22 - Looking for a Ghost

Summary: In 2024, Bucky tells Sam about Ariel. Determined to find out what happened to her, they look her up on the internet but find nothing.

Length: 4.7 K

Characters: Bucky, Sam, Sarah Wilson, Peri, Merton.

Warnings: Regret, anger, concern over mental health.

Author notes: This chapter is pretty straightforward as it starts in the 21st century, then goes to the 22nd century at the end.

<<Chapter 21

Part 2. Days of Future Passed

New Orleans, 2024

The quinjet dropped to the helipad at the Naval Air Station Joint Reserve Base New Orleans. Sam Wilson came out first, carrying his flightsuit case, followed by his partner Bucky Barnes, carrying both of their go bags. Waving goodbye at the pilot, Yelena Belova, and the others they walked away from the aircraft as it raised into the sky and headed back to New York. Nodding at the guard on duty at the airfield they headed towards Sam's truck, parked in the parking lot. Sam dropped the case off in the back of the truck, while Bucky put their bags in the back seat. Then they both got in and took a deep breath.

"That has got to be one of the most draining missions we've ever done," said Sam. "I'm so sore, all my muscles are screaming at me."

"I'll be better by tomorrow," said Bucky, gently touching the bruises on his side. "We need better intel on some of these extremist groups. You can stop in for a beer if you want."

"No, I better get back," replied Sam. "I don't think I have the strength to lift a bottle of beer."

Bucky smirked. Even with his super soldier abilities he knew exactly how Sam felt. As his friend started the truck and began the drive to Delacroix, he looked out the window, at the lush green vegetation. There must have been rain while they were gone. Everything looked new and alive again. He pulled his phone out and looked at the dating app that Sam had loaded for him, going through and seeing if anyone had swiped right. A few had and he looked at their profiles, swiping left on the assortment of women who had decided to match his. He must have made an audible sound at one because Sam looked at him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Just looking at the women who swiped right," he said. "Honestly, what do some of them think I am? They're either looking for a daddy or a Winter Soldier role playing domination scenario and I'm not into any of that shit. I just want a normal girl, sorry woman, who likes to read, listen to jazz, and doesn't freak out when she sees the arm. I should delete the whole app. Maybe that's part of my penance, not to be involved with any women."

"Aw man, don't say that," replied Sam. "There's got to be someone out there for you. Took me a while but now I have Jasmine and it's great."

"I know and I'm happy for you," said Bucky, then he looked out the window again. "There was a girl who was perfect in the 40s before I shipped out to England but I fucked it up. She'd be 107 now, if she lived."

"Tell me about her," said Sam, who noticed Bucky's exasperated look. "Seriously, I want to know."

The dark-haired man took a couple of breaths before speaking.

"She was the same age as me, from Montana, a red head, and a librarian," said Bucky. "Her name was Ariel and I wanted her from the moment I laid eyes on her. Her uncle owned an antique store. Steve and I did odd jobs for him. Rumour was that he was gay, which was frowned on then, but he was an okay guy. Then she showed up to live with him and I fell, fast. So did she. We got engaged the following year after we met." He looked at Sam who was looking at him in surprise. "Really, she was the one. But she was afraid of being left alone if I got killed while in Europe and wouldn't agree to actually get married. I tried to bully her into marrying me before I shipped out, but she wasn't having it and I blew up at her. We broke it off, even though she was willing to wait for me to return before we got married, I didn't want to wait. Then I did a really stupid thing. I took two girls to Stark Expo the night before I shipped out. One was supposed to be for Steve, but you remember how he was with women when he was Cap. When he was normal Steve, he was worse, plus he was obsessed with getting into the army. I ended up with both of them then went to Ariel's room after, climbing into her room through her window. Tried to convince her to spend the rest of the night with me. You know, sending a warrior off to battle properly. I was more than a little drunk. She could smell their perfume on me. I was such an idiot. She threw me out and I never saw her again. I tried writing but the letters came back marked Moved, No return address. She was right, though; she would have been alone if she married me."

"Do you know what happened to her?" asked Sam, impressed at how much Bucky had just told him.

"No, I haven't looked," replied Bucky. "My Ma wrote that her uncle sold his shop and took her back out west somewhere, just so long as it wasn't New York. It would serve me right if she ended up with some rich guy who gave her a better life than I could. Losing her hurt and I just went back to my old ways to get over her."

"Listen, after both of us have a day or so to recuperate come on over," said Sam. "We have one of those accounts with an ancestry company. We can look her up, see if she married and had a family. Maybe she has a granddaughter that looks just like her. It's worth a shot."

After Sam dropped him off and he threw his clothes into the washing machine, Bucky went over to his book case and took out a folder, pulling out a piece of art paper, sandwiched between some protective paper. Steve drew a colour portrait of Ariel from memory before he went back to Peggy and gave it to him to soften the blow of his leaving. As if showing him the picture of the one perfect woman who Bucky hurt the most wasn't painful enough.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, as he looked at the portrait.

He took a beer out of the fridge and started up his Benny Goodman playlist, remembering the night they went to see him live at Prospect Park, and he told Ariel he loved her for the first time. After several beers he must have curled up on the couch because that's where he found himself the following morning. With disgust he picked up a beer bottle that was right on top of the picture but fortunately it didn't damage the precious image and he slid it back inside its protective sheets then placed it back into the bookcase. The message app on his phone chimed and he looked at the message from Sam.

Sam: Come over for breakfast. We can look your old girlfriend up.

Bucky: Shower first. There in 30 minutes.

Thirty minutes later he was on his motorcycle and pulling into Sam's yard. Sarah was on the porch and waved to him as he got off the bike. He took his leather jacket off when he entered the house, feeling good when he saw Sarah had already put a very full plate of bacon, eggs, sausage, hash browns, grits, biscuits, and country gravy out for him, along with a tall glass of orange juice and coffee.

"Thank you, Sarah, you're an angel," he said, as she walked in.

"Uh huh," she replied. "What's this I hear about you messing with a girl's heart before the war?"

He glanced at Sam, who looked embarrassed at being called out.

"Unfortunately, it's true," he replied. "She was perfect, I messed it up, and I never went back because I was declared dead. Sam thinks we should find out what happened to her and see if she has an understanding granddaughter that might take me on as project."

She smirked. "Good luck with that," she said. "Why was she perfect? Did she buy all that ladies' man bull shit that you were supposedly good at in those days? I've heard you bragging."

Bucky felt his cheeks get warm but the pain must have shown on his face when he answered. "No, she didn't. She was smart, a college graduate, worked as a librarian and she was the most beautiful woman I ever met. I fell fast and hard for her but I pushed her too much to get married and it cost me. I really didn't deserve her."

"Well, good luck then," said Sarah, her tone softening. "I hope you find something out about her. I'm taking the truck, have to pick up more groceries before you boys get called out on another mission."

Neither of them said anything as Sarah verbally went over her shopping list, making comments about both of them and adding a few choice swear words when she saw something else that was no longer in the pantry had to be added to the growing list. Finally she picked the truck keys off the hook and headed out the door.

"Sorry," said Sam. "You know how she is. Once she gets a scent that you have some piece of information that she doesn't know about she hounds you until you tell her. As soon as we finish breakfast and clean up, we'll begin searching for the love of your life."

Thirty minutes later they were both seated in front of the laptop and Sam looked expectantly at Bucky.

"Name? Birthdate?"

"Ariel Black, I don't know if she had a middle name. Born April 30, 1917, in Montana but not sure exactly where although she said she lived in Missoula before she arrived in Brooklyn."

Sam entered the information, and they waited as the website went through all of its databases before displaying the results. There were a lot, so Sam went in and filtered out those that were male. That reduced it considerably. They dealt with the ones that had her name, but the birthdate was different, or they were born elsewhere, or were black, or died before 1940. Then they went through the ones that had a spelling difference, knowing that people weren't always vigilant in entering official records. It was much the same result. Sam changed the birthdate, giving only the year but it brought up the same results. After a couple of hours going through it, they came up with nothing. No record of an Ariel Black, born in Montana on her birthdate.

Both men sat back with Bucky looking considerably perplexed. "Maybe her birth wasn't registered properly," he said.

"We saw those already," said Sam. "I changed it to just 1917 and none of them were her. Did she have a driver's licence?"

"Yeah, I taught her to drive her uncle's van," said Bucky. "Although I questioned why she didn't know how to drive a standard, seeing as how she came from a rural area that would have only had standard transmission. She said she didn't get the license until she moved to Brooklyn."

Sam closed out of the ancestry website and opened another database. He looked at Bucky, in a conspiratorial way.

"You didn't see this," he said.

He entered some information and got into the New York DMV website then quickly entered her name and the date parameters of 1940 to 1943. There was nothing and he looked at Bucky, who was frowning.

"I saw her licence," said Bucky. "It was New York, 1940."

Quickly, Sam exited the DMV and brought up another database, again telling Bucky that he didn't see this. He got into it and entered Ariel's information again. They got the list of those who didn't match then there was one match, but with the year of birth considerably different. This record listed an Ariel Anne Black, born April 30, 1998, in Missoula, Montana. Sam took a screen shot then exited the database and printed off the screen shot.

"That birthdate makes this Ariel 26 years old," he said. "How old was she in 1943?"

"26," replied Bucky. "But it can't be the same one, obviously. If she's Ariel's granddaughter, then she should have a different last name." His face went red. "Shit, what if ... no, it can't be that." He began to breathe heavily, and he stood up, pacing the length of the living room and back. "Sam, can you find out if there were any boy babies born, anywhere in the US in January or February 1944 to a mother with the first name Ariel?"

"Buck, slow down," he said. "That's a pretty big leap in logic."

"Yeah, and that 26-year-old Ariel Anne Black might be my great granddaughter," said Bucky. "Shit, it was exactly what she was afraid of; that I would die and leave her with a baby. If she had a boy, then she would give him her last name Black. She moved right away, within days of me shipping out. That might have been when she found out, but my parents would have helped her. They wouldn't have shamed her for being pregnant and not married, not if it was my son."

Sam opened up the last data base again and entered in all the information then waited for the results. It took a little longer because they were looking over the entire country but after a while he sat back and looked at Bucky.

"She's not your granddaughter," he said. "Her father was born in 1960 and his father before him was born in 1935 in England. You're not related."

Sam's laptop suddenly went out and he touched the on/off button but it didn't respond. He unplugged it and plugged it back in again and it booted up but when he tried to log into the database it refused his access information.

"Well, that's interesting," said Sam. "Someone doesn't want us in that database. Why would that be?"

"Because you're looking for someone who doesn't exist," said a voice familiar to Bucky and he turned towards the door where it came from to see Merton Burnett standing there, dressed in modern clothes, his face younger, and his hair a little darker than when Bucky last saw the man in 1943.

"Merton?" asked Bucky, standing up, noticing a significantly older woman was with him. "I don't understand. You should be dead but you look younger than you looked in 1943."

"I know," replied the man, calmly, then he glanced at Sam before looking at the older woman next to him, who nodded her assent. "This must be Sam Wilson, your partner and the current Captain America." He offered his hand to Sam. "Bucky knows me as Merton Burnett but my real name is Merton Andrews and this is my superior, Peri Wayne. Please, sit down and I'll explain why you're looking for a ghost."

Peri sat down in the armchair while Sam sat on the couch followed by Merton. Bucky remained standing for several moments until Peri looked pointedly at him until he sat down in the armchair opposite her.

"I look familiar to you, don't I, Bucky?" she said. "You knew me as Pearl, I was much younger, and we had one glorious encounter together in January of 1940. Unfortunately, we didn't click for anything more than that one night. I returned to my home and spent a lifetime coming up with a plan to find the perfect person to study you before you went to war. Ariel was my protégé and she was exactly what you wanted in a woman. You wanted her from the moment you met her and even more when you found she was every bit your equal intellectually, emotionally, and physically."

Bucky said nothing but he was irritated, and his jaw was already set in that way that Sam knew would grow into anger if answers weren't forthcoming.

"What do you mean a person to study Bucky?" asked Sam, certain that his friend wouldn't be as polite.

"Without giving too much away," started Merton, "you two have a profound effect on history with your partnership, despite your different backgrounds. As you have no doubt already noticed there has been a lot of misinformation thrown around about many historical events. Things like the moon landing were claimed to be a hoax and a considerable number of people believed it because the actual history of it was distorted over the years by people with their own agenda. A hundred years from now historians are the guardians of truth and are trained to go back into time and observe not just people important to history but ordinary people so that the truth about everyday life is recorded for posterity."

"She was spying on me?" growled Bucky.

"She was observing you," clarified Peri, "but her assignment also allowed her to interact with you in the way you did with so many women. In the process she fell as hard for you as you did for her. She struggled to keep her objectivity, but she did a decent job balancing it and Merton did his own observations which supported many of hers. As a result of their efforts, we were able to get a better picture of you before you went to England, and before you were lost to HYDRA."

"So she knew about HYDRA and she never said a word," said Bucky, bitterly. "No wonder she wouldn't marry me."

"She couldn't change history," explained Peri gently. "That was beyond her capabilities. Changing your history would have changed the history of the world and not necessarily for the better. Marriage was not permitted. She experienced and still experiences tremendous guilt for not being able to tell you, for not being able to warn you about the pain and suffering you would experience when you were a prisoner of HYDRA."

"As long as she got her precious observations," sneered Bucky, standing up and looking at all of them. "Tell me, did she do her job well? Did she find out everything you needed to know about me? Just another fucking experiment, wasn't I?"

"You don't understand," said Merton. "She never published her observations. In fact, she destroyed them. All of her voice and video recordings of your time together were erased. Her written journals, burned. She won't talk about your relationship to anyone. As her supervisor, I guess you could say, I was able to make some of my own observations, read some of hers and watch some of the videos at the time, with her permission - she never recorded anything intimate between you with a recording device, as that was unacceptable to her – but because I wasn't the person assigned to you, I couldn't publish it. We still don't officially have any information on you from that time because she won't release it. She basically destroyed her career and her livelihood for you."

Sam watched his friend process this information. Bucky, who had been ready to explode in anger was now unsure of what he felt. He sat in the armchair and faced Peri.

"Is she alright?"

"No, she's not," said Peri, sympathetically. "For her it's been only 8 months since you showed up in her bedroom and she smelled the perfume of the other women on you. That truly broke her heart that you would bed two other women in the same night just days after she refused your ultimatum to get married. It was necessary for Merton to bring her home and stay with her as he was her closest friend at that point. He didn't go back to being a historian himself, so concerned has he been about her. Along with the guilt of not being able to tell you the truth she suffers from profound grief, not to mention she was sure you hated her after she threw you out."

"I don't hate her," said Bucky, his face betraying his emotions. "I was angry, yes, and I was a stupid drunk when I showed up to her room, but I never hated her." He looked intently at Peri. "What will happen to her?"

The older woman leaned forward and took his hands in her own. "There is no future for her in her own time," she said, her voice trembling. "Everything she ever went to school and trained for was to be a historian. I'm frightened for her. Never, ever, did I think she would love you so deeply that nothing else would matter to her. She was a woman of the future, strong, confident in her own abilities, sexuality and emotions, and being with you changed all that. I'm not saying that to criticize you; just to emphasize that her attachment to you became a focus of her life. You must understand that she needs you, to be with you to feel whole again. Can you put aside your anger and help her by bringing her back to this time and being with her?"

There was no sound from him but Bucky searched Peri's face, detecting no subterfuge or lying. He saw the face of a woman who was truly concerned for someone she felt responsible for. Pulling his hands out of Peri's he sat back in his armchair and looked intently at both her and Merton.

"Won't that change this timeline?" he asked.

"Yes, but we think it's already happened," said Peri. "That entry, the one showing Ariel Anne Black? That entry was made from the future, beyond our future. We think it's an effort to backdate her existence so that she exists in this timeline. It was Sam's somewhat illegal hack into that database that alerted me and I contacted Merton to come with me and lay our case open to you."

"Wait, you think that one of you makes that entry but you haven't done it yet?" asked Sam. They both nodded. "How will she fit in? I mean, it's obvious you prepared her for 1940 but this is 2024."

"She's a historian, with an interest in many time periods," said Peri. "She knows this time period well and her studies did allow her to fit in as a librarian in many time periods. For our women historians it was a profession they could easily fit into. Many of her preferred reading materials are from this time, many of her music playlists are as well as her movie choices. She always thought her first assignment would be in this time but I'm the one that decided she was better suited for your assignment."

"Why?" asked Bucky. "Why her?"

"Your predisposition to redheads, natural redheads," clarified Peri. "Plus, the women that we did know about were often shallow women, focused only on a good time, certainly that's how I was portraying my persona. We had several other women, of various hair colours who were also summarily used and dropped by you. For a time we thought you were bisexual and sent a very handsome man but although you were not offended by his approach you also weren't interested. It wasn't until I was contacted by my successor in the future that I learned we had underestimated your need for an intellectual equal."

"How did they know?" asked Bucky. "If Ariel didn't publish, how did they know she was the one?"

"Because he worked with her on the assignment," said Merton, "and became fond of her, enough that he realized his own professional detachment was at risk."

"You?"

"It appears so," said Merton, "although the future that hasn't happened is always in flux. Bucky, we don't have all the answers. We look at the past and use what we learn to make sense of the present and prepare for the future. We try to do it in as unbiased a way as possible, but we are still human, still subject to mistakes, assumptions, and indiscretions. The fact is Ariel loves you still, she is hurting deeply, and we fear for her future if you don't go to her, reconcile, and bring her back here with you."

Sam watched his friend accept this information as a range of emotions came to play over his face. He looked at his hands for several moments then took a deep breath.

"What do I have to do?" he asked, resigned to doing as they asked.

"Come with us to our time," said Merton. "Sam can come as well. There will be no effect on this timeline that hasn't already happened. Bring several changes of clothes as you may be there for several days and the clothing styles are still quite similar in appearance. When you return it will be within moments of your leaving."

The two friends looked at each other and Bucky grabbed his leather jacket then went outside onto his motorcycle to return home to get his things. Sam went upstairs and packed a bag then returned to the other two gathered at his table with what looked like a futuristic holographic control panel in front of them. They smiled at him but made no effort to explain it to him and he realized that there were some things he wasn't meant to understand. Bucky returned ten minutes later with his go bag slung across his chest and strode into the house looking like a man with a purpose. He positioned himself next to Sam and waited for the older pair to finish their preparations.

"Stand in the middle of the living room," said Peri. "Bucky, you will go with me. The portal may seem disorienting to you but will do no lasting harm. The worst side effect may be vertigo for several minutes. Sam, you will go with Merton. I do caution you that these controls are still in beta testing. We used them to come here with no problem but there is always a possibility they will malfunction during the portal. If that happens a technician in our future will attempt to open another portal that we can step into from the one we are in."

Bucky stood in the living room with Peri beside him as she offered him her hand. Nodding at Merton to begin the process, she squeezed Bucky's hand as a blue spot opened in the air in front of him and grew in size. He could feel the air from the living room flowing into the vortex. With another squeeze of his hand, Peri pulled him in with her when the portal was big enough for both of them. Encased in a clear bubble he watched with fascination as the walls of the vortex changed colour from black to red and orange then blue and white until a hand reached in and grasped Peri's free hand guiding her out as she pulled Bucky with her. He stepped into what looked like an operations room, with the window from a control room overlooking them. The hand, which had entered their space, was connected to a young man who gestured to them to follow him out. Peri, with seemingly no side effects dropped Bucky's hand and followed the young man. Bucky suddenly felt a little dizzy and nauseous but fought it off and followed Peri. She smiled at him.

"You did well," she said. "Most people vomit after their first portal excursion."

The young man returned to the transport room, which Bucky read on the sign above the door, and when the portal opened again the young man reached inside and pulled on the hand which was connected to Sam, followed by Merton. Sam was holding his mouth when he emerged and a bucket was placed in front of him. After throwing up he sheepishly accepted a wet cloth to clean his mouth area, and glass of water to drink before following the young man out to the next room. The portal had already closed behind them. As they stood outside the transport room Peri looked at Sam and Bucky then smiled.

"Gentlemen, welcome to the year 2142."

Chapter 23>>

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[okeydokeylackey]

Acacius Romeo Sapphirius

So I got sick on technically the 20th (of September) but it really hit me the 21st. Which was frustrating to me, because I'd just gotten back into a mental state of productivity. But after I'd gotten actual sleep, I decided on the 22nd for some ungodly reason to embark upon finally putting together a proper full-body design for my favorite character of all time. The second ungodly decision that I made was to, some extent, paper-doll this reference. 11 hours of work straight the first day cemented for me that I could not simply just… give up on this project, like so many others.

It is now the 25th. I don't know how many hours I've worked on this. I slept a lot in between. I am still sick. But it is done. My magnum opus, my love, my life.

[yamcha-thelonewolf]

🫂Toriyama forgets, Yamcha doesn't!

This time I want us to relax a little bit. My last analysis, The Heart's Savior, was very challenging both for me who wrote it and for you who read it, so now it is only fair to lighten the load.

In a poll, I asked you whether you would prefer to know more about Yamcha's life as a fighter or as an ordinary earthling, and if you remember, the second choice won. So here I am analyzing a little trivia that has nothing to do with battles. Well... Sort of! Martial arts still has something to do with it, but it only serves as a background. In fact, I will tell you about an extremely strong friendship, not because the bond is actually intense but because it goes against the narrative choices of Toriyama and Toei Animation. Believe me, guys, this analysis could maintain the connection with a character we hear little about now. Lastly, just because I know it's a kind of topic that many people like, I'm going to talk somewhat about one of Yamcha's many looks.

Let's be clear, this is just my theory, it's quite silly, but at least it might make you smile a little... Well, I hope so!

Before we begin, it seems only fair to warn that the following is likely to be coincidental. Dragon Ball has never dwelled on details, at least not the ones I care about, so it is highly likely that this topic is meaningless. But... What if it doesn't? Assuming Yamcha has a life of his own in this show, talking about it might be worthwhile... Because it would once again show what a beautiful person he is in everyday life.

So... Let's get started!

Don't worry, I told you. I am not going to talk about Yamcha as a fighter, but as I had anticipated it is necessary to understand how incredible he is as a normal earthling.

We are at the end of the Fortuneteller Baba Arc. Goku has finally found out where the last dragon ball is and so sets off with Upa to resurrect his father Bora. Meanwhile, Yamcha and the others await their friend's return at Baba's palace. It is during this wait that Yamcha reflects at length on his own life and he finally decides to ask Muten to make him his pupil.

A new orange Gi is definitely needed!

Freeze! It is not the Turtle School uniform that I want to talk about. Let's go back for a moment... A few hours before the 22nd Tournament begins.

Alright! We've got it!

We are on the plane bound for Papaya Island. Bruce Lee Yamcha has completed his training under Muten, and with this proud pretty face he lets us know that we are going to see some good things. He also seems more mature. He is in his 20s. Guys, many things could be said about this drawing, but in this case I will simply dwell on his outfit. This is the first time we have seen Yamcha in such an elegant look. We were used to seeing him in martial artist outfits or otherwise with looks more suited to his wild nature, so this is a very nice surprise. For a change, he looks great. I mean, you can dress and style him any way you like: Yamcha has the incredible power to be charming in any way. Yes, even with that bowl hair from DBZ...

Jeez, I love him. Let's go back to our outfit now.

Some will remember it for sure, but for those who do not know I want to let you show that this dress has its own origin.

One more step back now.

We are in the 21st Tournament Arc. Yamcha is in town with Bulma and he's training on his own. Muten's only pupils are Goku and Krillin. Many people do not pay attention to it, but if these two boys managed to get into the Turtle School it is because of a character who unfortunately met a brutal end in the show: Lunch.

The deal is clear: If Goku and Krillin can find a nice girl to stay at the Kame House, then Muten can train them. It is the only way to access. So we can safely say that if Goku has become so strong, it is also thanks to Lunch. Fortunately, she is found in her quiet form, but soon her secret would come out...

...Whatever! Goku and Krillin can finally train under Muten. Well, there really would be so much to say about Lunch. She is a character who deserves a lot. She should not have disappeared at all after the great contribution she made to Goku and Krillin. Not only that. She even defeated some Red Ribbon soldiers, she helped Yamcha defeat some criminals because he had a broken leg, in a filler she saves Goku from an attempted "kidnapping," and among many other things she allowed to find front row seats during tournaments! Seriously, she would deserve a separate post.

If we look at Lunch as a function of the protagonist, it is undeniable that she was the mother Goku never had. At least in her good personality.

The same of course applies to Krillin. Let's think it through. She cooked for them, cuddled them before bed, and who knows how many other mother hen things she did. Goku definitely lacked such a figure, so this is also why I consider Lunch an important character in his growth. If Bulma is more like an older sister, Lunch is definitely his mommy. Have you noticed that? Every person Goku meets represents a family member. It's extremely cute.

Be that as it may, as proof that Lunch is a real mom to the two pupils, she decides to give them a nice gift at the end of their training.

Tadaaan! Okay, I admit that Goku and Krillin are really funny dressed like this. They look like two little gangsters, something like Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro as kids, but that's okay. Lunch sewed these outfits for them, and that's what matters. It was done with love.

Seeing her satisfied like a loving mommy getting excited for her kids going to school for the first time always moved me. Although in this case the destination is the tournament, the meaning is the same: Lunch gave importance to their big day by honoring it with this outfit as awkward as adorable.

Well, friends. Now that the puzzle is almost complete, we can go back to our boy! As I said at the beginning, Yamcha begs Muten to make him his third pupil. Once inside the school, it doesn't take long to realize that for all of his three years of training he has been dealing with Lunch as well.

It should be mentioned, however, that the two had actually met for the first time during the Red Ribbon Arc, when everyone leaves to help Goku.

This is the first real moment when they meet. Lunch is in her "evil" form, but a little later Yamcha will also make the acquaintance of her good side.

This meant that during these three years he also cohabited with Lunch, who must surely have cooked for him as well. I think it's a really interesting detail. Unfortunately, we don't know what has happened during these three years, but I would like to point out that this is the first time Yamcha has dealt so closely with a girl other than Bulma. Imagining that he is still very shy with girls, I have no doubt that he has been embarrassed many times in being so near to her. Stop!, I'm not saying he had feelings for her, but she is still a pretty girl, most of the time very naive as well as sensual, so I wouldn't be surprised if Lunch made Yamcha blush without even meaning to. By the way, it would be interesting to analyze Bulma's feelings in this situation, since she has visited Yamcha several times. I don't think she was ever jealous of Lunch, but she may have punched her boyfriend in the head a few times anyway just because.

...They were so cute...

Okay, now the topic is clear, isn't it? The bond between Yamcha and Lunch is one of the least explored things in Dragon Ball. There is no point in talking about it because it leads nowhere, but believe me, for an earthlings fan it is worth discussing.

First, let's start by saying that this is a different relationship from that she had with the other two pupils. If with Goku and Krillin Lunch was able to act like a caring mother, the same cannot be said for Yamcha. Yamcha is not a child like them. He is almost the same age as Lunch, so the relationship must be absolutely equal: they are two friends. Nothing more, nothing less. This does not mean that Lunch took less care of Yamcha. Surely she must have avoided giving him a good-night kiss and things like that, that is.

As for her second personality, it becomes more complicated. We will never know whether "Bad" Lunch felt attracted to Yamcha. We know she loves wild guys and Yamcha certainly is, but I don't think she was that disloyal to her friend Bulma. In short: I am convinced that there was never any sexual attraction between Lunch and Yamcha. They have always been two great friends, proving that friendship between boys and girls can exist.

So... Maternal or not, one thing is certain: when the big day comes again, Lunch gives her gift to Yamcha too.

I don't know how many of you have thought about this. I'm sure I'm not the first one who has thought about it, but geez... It's a detail that has always excited me for no real reason. Perhaps because it is one of those details that indirectly deepens the relationships between Dragon Ball characters, which are unfortunately poorly told.

I mean, try to think of the scene!

Yamcha at that time was not really the type of guy to wear stuff like that. He has lived for many years in the desert, where it is not necessary to wear fancy clothes because the only priority is to survive. Yet in the desert, we don't know how, he also learned good manners, especially with girls. I'm sure he did everything possible not to disappoint Lunch's expectations. Yamcha has always been like that. In order to please others he has often sacrificed himself, so I think something like that happened in this case as well. Let's try to put ourselves in his shoes. He may be gentle and all, he surely must have thanked Lunch for this, but how much he must have cringed wearing this?

It is a bit like putting a bow tie on a wild wolf...

This is precisely how I imagine him: deeply embarrassed and on the verge of sinking underground. "Boy, I feel so ridiculous!"

Don't worry, silly, it actually fits you much better than you think. I don't believe anyone found him as funny as Goku and Krillin were the first time they wore that thing. Anyway, I assume that this is why we don't see himwith that Al Capone hat. "Hell, I can accept the dress... but spare me that thing!!"

Here you can see Yamcha now comfortable in his elegant look and Lunch by his side totally unaware that she was the one who sewed it for him. By the way, I think it's superficial to say this but... It's really nice that she handmade this dress for Yamcha. I mean, his body is much bigger than Goku and Krillin's. She must have struggled a lot! It's a proof to how much she loved Yamcha, too.

Come on, look at her! Here Lunch is as worried as everyone about Yamcha's condition after Tenshinhan broke his leg. The way she addresses him does indeed have something maternal about it, but it mainly shows that she has become attached to him over those three years.

She is so precious...

...even when she is about to kill Yamcha and Bulma in one shot.

Gosh, I love her! It is so nice that everyone has learned to accept Lunch as she is. Yamcha is like that. He always accepted his friends, no matter how they are, he is always there for them and always took care of them. I am convinced that he loved Lunch as he loves everyone else.

So... the topic could end here, but it is not like me to conclude so trivially. I like to go beyond the impossible, in fact even this time I want to extend the whole situation.

The real point of the topic is another.

Unfortunately, Lunch's fate is the most horrible of all. In truth, I don't know which is worse between being forgotten and being ridiculed throughout the show. Let's just say that neither Lunch nor Yamcha were lucky. They also have that in common, besides the fact that both are very close to Tien. I would call it the trio of outcasts. However, if we at least know what happens to Yamcha during DBZ, we know nothing about Lunch. The last time we see her is in a bar, completely drunk because Tien is dead. Another appearance, which is really brief, is during the Buu Saga, when she gives her energy to Goku. I consider these two scenes to be frighteningly sad because in both cases we see her alone and that hurts me a lot. It is as if she has lost contact with her friends. After all, she could not even return to the Kame House because it was now inhabited by Krillin, Android 18 and their daughter. There was no place for her anymore. This hurt even more, because we really don't know what happened to her. Finally, she appears without ever saying anything in the OVA Dragon Ball: Yo! Son Goku and His Friends Return!!

This is quite consoling, but it is not enough. Her presence is highly unnecessary. I think she was thrown into the rabble just to actually pay homage to those who were Goku's friends, but what's the point if she doesn't even say a word? She certainly deserved more since she had been forgotten for almost two decades.

Whatever... Thank goodness Yamcha exists!

He is seriously the hero we do not deserve.

Well yes, Yamcha may be the one who partly solves this great riddle:

...What ever happened to Lunch all this time?

The truth is that there are no answers. Everyone can imagine what they want. One can think that she stayed with Tien (although DBS has ruled out this possibility for the umpteenth time), one can think that she opened a food truck or that she came to visit Muten sometimes. I personally believe that she has not completely lost contact with her friends. At least, not with Yamcha. I mean, we've seen how Yamcha is not the type to quit. When it comes to loving someone, Yamcha is always in the front row. This makes me believe that he has not stopped seeing Lunch. He is too loyal to forget a person who has done so much for him. Plus, if we add that Yamcha was left alone at one point in the story, it makes even more sense that he spends his time with an equally "lonely" friend. I imagine Yamcha as a very nostalgic guy. It would be unthinkable for him to exclude such an important memory as Lunch from his life.

At least, that's how it is for me. Until now I didn't know it for sure, but a few days ago I had an epiphany. That's when I realized that maybe Lunch is still there, we just don't see her.

Dragon Ball Z: The Tree of Might, 1990.

Did you notice anything?

Oh god yes, it's that damn gangster outfit again. I mean, the dress sewn by Lunch. Although it is difficult to identify the timeline of this film, it is still clear that we are in a context far away from OG Dragon Ball. At first I anticipated that all this might just be a coincidence, but personally I like to believe that there is much more behind it. Assuming that indeed it is the dress made by Lunch, we need to consider one thing: it can never be that one she gave him for the 22nd Tournament. It would be really old, plus I don't think it would be able to hold up Yamcha's new body. He's now in his 30s, he has not only grown taller but also added a lot of muscle mass. It is practically impossible for him to have been able to wear it. So... Maybe Yamcha asked Lunch to renew that old dress? Think about it, it makes sense to me. Yamcha is also very cheap. Being a former thief, he knows the value of money well and knows that it is easier to lose it than to find it. He is really funny, but also very cute.

The money accumulated through baseball certainly does not change his stingy nature, that's why it is not strange to think that he turned to Lunch. Of course, also as a matter of affection. I think Yamcha is a guy who is very attached to things, especially if there are a lot of good memories behind them.

I mean, something could have happened like, "Hi Lunchie, how are you? Long time no see, it took me so long to find you! Let me guess, you're hiding from the cops, right?" and then... "Anyway, I wanted to ask you a favor. Going through my closet, I found that fancy dress you had sewn for me for the Tournament. Do you remember? Here it is. I tried to wear it but I only gained a hole in my pants. I'll let you guess where. So... Could you fix it for your bestie?"... So she would say: "Are you kidding, Yamcha? There's no way I'm going to fix that! I'll definitely sew you a new one!"

If so, we could assume that they are still in contact! It would really comfort me to know that Lunch is still part of the gang, even if we don't see her. Yamcha in this case could seriously be the link, simply because he is brought up to be.

That would be great.

I want to believe it.

After all...

...Toriyama may forget his characters, but Yamcha will never forget his friends.

Thank you!!

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron

Just a tiny fic too see if I want to continue it and keep this format!

Words: 800

TW: implications of neglect, manipulation and controlling behaviour

December 21st

Dear Diary (?) 

I never had a diary, I don't know how this stuff works. Mom gave me an old diary she had never used, it's the closest to a birthday gift I have ever gotten from her. I haven't gotten any cake like Elain or a grand party like Nesta but I'm not mad, at least I get the time to draw in my room without any interruptions. I've become pretty good! 

Rumor has it that a new boy will be at our school tomorrow, which is weird because it's two days before the holidays. It probably stays a rumor, it wouldn't make sense. 

Anyways, I think I'm going to sneak into the kitchen after mom went to bed, I'm getting hungry. 

Bye, I guess? 

December 22nd

Dear Diary, 

Today I have been blessed by god. I didn't expect to make another entry so soon but today the new guy looked at me. OH MY GOD, RIGHT? He totally smiled at me too!! (Delusion aside, he probably saw someone behind me. He doesn't know I exist.) 

I hate the stupid lights in the school but I swear the new guy’s eyes looked VIOLET in the light. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I'm totally going to draw himy he's GORGEOUS! Like the men on Nesta's book covers (that she's totally hiding from mom) but a hundred times prettier! 

Well, I have to finish my math homework now. 

Bye? 

January 2nd

Dear Diary, 

Christmas was pretty boring that's why I didn't write anything but today was insane! The new guy has a name, Rhysand (beautiful, right?) and he's in my history class! I actually quite like history and our teacher, Ms Weaver, even though everyone is scared of her but Rhysand made it hard to focus!! It's not like I'm mad about it because he's sitting like right in front of me and he smells like citrus and sea (Not that I sniffed him, I'm not a weirdo) he smells SO GOOD and I could just get lost looking at him all the time! 

Maybe he'll talk to me someday, wouldn't that be neat? 

Shit, mom is coming home and she sounds mad!!! 

Bye! 

January 4th

Dear Diary, 

Today I got Elain’s hand-me-downs! Finally, I've been waiting for this, I needed new pants. Mom refused to buy me new ones because it's my fault I got them paint splattered. It's only one pair that has paint on them, the others are falling apart! But arguing with mum is like arguing with a brick wall, it won't budge.  

I found a pretty blue jumper in Elain’s old clothes which makes my eyes pop! I will wear it tomorrow. Not because I have history class and will see Rhysand, it just looks pretty. 

I also got a job interview at a run down diner at the edge of the town! Mom can't know, she'd never allow me to work or if she would, she wouldn't allow me to keep the money, she always needs to have everything under control, it's so annoying. 

I'm not worried about not getting the job but I hope I can convince them to give me night shifts so mom won't know! Once she's asleep, she's ASLEEP! 

I'd say wish me luck but it's only me and the ink, so I guess I wish myself luck. 

So excited! 

January 13th

Dear Diary, 

I am dying. I really am. I'm barely able to write these words down. 

Fine, maybe I'm not dying really but it feels like it. I got my period and I literally feel like I'm bleeding out. I feel like someone is stabbing my uterus REPEATEDLY. Why would mother nature be so cruel? Why would my own mother be so cruel to still send me to school like this? That was a trick question, it's my mother. Cruel is carved in her bones and blood and brain. Whatever it is, I can't think through this agony. 

Mom says it's normal and I shouldn't be so dramatic and when I tried to talk to Elain she grimaced!! I mean, it's not her fault, I guess. Mom drilled it into Nesta and Elain that these topics are taboo. I think that's stupid because in biology they said periods are natural so why would something natural be taboo? 

It doesn't make sense, right? 

On a slightly brighter side, Rhysand talked to me yesterday and asked if I was okay!! I am aware he asked because I probably looked like death but a win is a win, right? And his smile when I lied and said I was okay, I was melting into a puddle! 

Okay, the water is hot enough for my hot water bottle! I'm gonna chill and listen go Red for the rest of the day until bedtime. 

Bye

Taglist: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @starfall-spirit @rhysiedarling @corcracrow @sydney-fae25 @tothestarsandwhateverend @aayo-whatt @dreamlandreader

[cyraelin]

Based on minimal context clues about the 45th (and with other tribute claimants), I have made a prediction on the flow of the games:

Cornucopia Bloodbath

24th - Robin (7) - Oscar (To my perspective, Robin might not have a chance due to his low score of 5)

23rd - Ceres (9) - Ace (Oatley might probably go outside the cornucopia area to avoid getting in the carnage, leaving Ceres hopeless)

22nd - Mica (12) - Garrison (It's probably obvious that Mica might not survive the carnage, due to her spending most of her time at the plant section holding her knees)

21st - Oscar (4) - Yamaha (Oscar got an average score of 7, which may lead to someone with a higher score eliminating him, which would be the kill freak, Yamaha)

20th - Flora (7) - Diana (I don't think District 7 has a chance)

19th - Lyra (3) - Keelia (They're literally talking about Lyra being a bloodbath death, despite her compliments)

18th - Dean (5) - Ace (I just have that gut feeling that someone near their 18's with such a low score might not make it out of the carnage)

17th - Ace (1) - Yamaha (There's a high chance that Yamaha might kill a career, which would be Ace)

16th - Yamaha (6) - Celeste (REVENGE)

Day 1

15th - Talus (12) - dehydration; Garrison (Talus looks malnourished, so I bet he might lose hydration; Garrison then puts him out of his misery)

Day 2

14th - Vida (10) - Garrison (Training scores don't define how good they are at surviving; so I put Vida here even when she got a score of 8)

Day 4 (extreme heat wave)

13th - Oatley (9) - extreme heat wave (Oatley must be malnourished too, so I think he can't handle the dehydration and heat wave)

Day 5

12th - Keelia (4) - Chaff (Keelia and Celeste go out hunting for tributes, when Chaff and Maverick catch them off-guard)

11th - Celeste (1) - Maverick (Same reason)

Day 6

10th - Becky (5) - Garrison (I have that gut feeling that she might end up like Asterope)

Day 7 (Vultures)

9th - Orchard (11) - Diana (I just can't. Orchard might not make it to the final 6.)

8th - Miles (6) - vultures (I just have that gut feeling there might be vultures that look like steel peckers, with Miles unable to camouflage in time)

7th - Calico (8) - vultures (same reason with Miles, but even more hopeless)

Day 8

6th - Garrison (2) - Maverick & Intel (It's Intel that sets up a decoy and Maverick killing him simultaneously)

Day 9

5th - Corinne (8) - Diana (whoops. someone said that she might survive the bb and get far)

Day 10 (Force Field Contraction)

4th - Intel (3) - Diana (Diana needed to kill the remaining one by one until she wins)

3rd - Maverick (10) - Chaff (Of course he had to; he had no choice)

2nd - Diana (2) - Chaff (Diana got way too glorious, that she ends up dead)

VICTOR: yk who it is.

There might not be any vultures, but according to my research, there are place-able birds in "The Sims", like "steelpeckers," that look like vultures.

I feel your pain eliminating a few good tributes way too early, I feel it.

And note to the others who have made predictions; the way you put tributes with low scores is partially inaccurate; sometimes tributes with low scores get "kaputz" way too early, sometimes tributes with low scores make it pretty far (e.g. Foxface with a score of 5), meaning that training scores don't define a tribute's survival; it defines their skill.

Oh my, another server member! And I love that you actually found the steelpeckers because I have been considering including them too, although I don't think I can make them attack sims because they're just decorative birds.

Overall, it was an interesting read. You have some ideas that, while they're not in the actual death order, I am tempted to use, at least partially. Who knows, I might draw some inspiration from it.

(The placements will likely not change, but the deaths could.)

[baratrongirl]

I have been dealing with non-stop health problems since 22nd June or thereabouts and I just want it all to stop.

On 21st June, which was my birthday, I went to an Elder Scrolls Online 10th Anniversary party at the offices of Bethesda/Zenimax in London. I proceeded to catch COVID from being out in public, and spent a week in bed.

On 29th June I was sitting at my computer, still with a high fever, stood up to go to the loo, and something in my right leg tore and I fell over. Couldn't walk at all for several days. Finally got free of COVID, went to the hospital, and they thought from an ultrasound that I'd torn my Achilles tendon. So I got put in a horrible cast and was not allowed to put any weight on the leg at all.

Went to Germany for the ESO Tavern anyway because I figured that accessible hotel rooms would be less stress than my house, which is only accessible for my normal disability and not for "you can't put any weight on your foot at all". Had to inject myself with an anticoagulant called Fragmin because of being immobile, which is super great if you're needle phobic.

Once I got home and saw the specialist, she thought it probably wasn't a tear and ordered an MRI. This showed that actually, I "only" had "thickening and inflammation" of the tendon. So it looks like I "only" tore my calf muscle which is a much less serious injury to heal. (I could dig out the hospital letter with the actual names of the muscles but I frankly don't care enough.)

However, my right leg was STILL rock solid with oedema. (Medical for "swelling"). The calf felt hard to the touch instead of squishy like my left leg. The young doctor that I saw the second time was only bothered about the tendonitis and severe inflexibility of my foot, not the fact that my leg was swollen. And I continued to have pain spikes so bad that my temperature hit 38.0 C and I started puking for probably six weeks after the initial injury.

TL;DR my leg started to get better and then it got worse again. About two weeks ago I noticed the leg was more swollen than ever, and the skin was bright red and very itchy. Took myself up to the hospital again, had a blood test, sat and waited for the results.

My foot turned LITERALLY purple and by the time I got to see the A&E doctor, she just looked at my foot in combination with the blood test results and declared that I had a clot. (Though she was very thorough, carefully checking the entire length of my bad leg against the good one.) They gave me a massive dose of anticoagulants and sent me home to sleep in my own bed for a bit, then I went back the next day and had another ultrasound at a different frequency from the first. (Different frequencies of sound penetrate different levels of tissue). And promptly got diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis.

Blood clots are kinda gross (don't worry, there are no pictures):

Apparently the blood clot is from behind my knee all the way up to mid-thigh. I thought a blood clot was an amorphous, approximate spheroid blocking the vein at a particular place, but it actually fills the entire vein! (Gross!)

Also the main concern with Deep Vein Thrombosis is that bits might break off from the main clot and travel through the bloodstream to cause a Pulmonary Embolism. So the high dose of anticoagulants is actually to deal with bits breaking off from the clot rather than to break down the clot itself! That's why the treatment is 3-6 months on a high dose of anticoagulants.

I was worried about the risk of stroke but that's from blood clots in arteries, not veins.

I'm still annoyed with the doctor in the Fracture Clinic who basically looked at me and saw a fat person, rather than checking that my uninjured fat left leg and injured fat right leg felt the same. Because I had the oedema then. I had a soft, squishy fat left leg and a hard, unsquishable fat right leg.

If I'd actually followed his advice I might have accidentally killed myself. Fortunately I know the medical word "oedema" and knew not to use the special socks which said "do not use if you have oedema".

I am so fucking frustrated. So stupidly tired. I can't work out whether I'm depressed because I'm exhausted or exhausted because I'm depressed. Or whether the two states are orthogonal and caused by something else.

I feel like I've basically missed the entire summer to being sick and mostly unable to move very far from my bed, and the only joy I have is that I live in the UK and have paid nothing for any of this healthcare because it's all funded from our taxes.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals - Song Of Durin

Geoff Castellucci's cover of Song Of Durin was released on the 22nd of September, 2024 (or the 21st depending on your timezone). It's the third (but not necessarily final) cover of a song from the Tolkien franchise/Middle-earth universe, "featuring" the dwarven characters of Fili, Kili, Thorin, and Bofur.

I did a 2-in-1 Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals for Far Over The Misty Mountains Cold and I See Fire earlier this year, (LINK), though honestly if I could go back and redo that post, I would, as tbh there's some stuff that I could've talked about but didn't, or at least I could've elaborated some more. And also I kinda sorta said that only two of the characters in Misty Mountains are the same as in I See Fire, which is wrong - they're all the same - but in my defense, I wasn't a Patron of Geoff's back then, so I didn't have as much "insider knowledge" as I do now, and also Bofur had a complete outfit change between those two videos, and Kili looked a little different as well (if you want a side-by-side character appearance comparison for those two videos plus this one, go find the post I made for it HERE.)

Anyway, I may not know much Tolkien lore, but I certainly have things to say for this video, so lets get into this!

(Post below the cut!)

Of course I have to start this post with some commentary on set design, because damn Geoff really spared no effort for this (or Kathy!).

As Geoff says in the description, this is meant to depict Balin's Tomb, located in the ruins of Moria. In the movie franchise, it looks like this:

What you might not realise is that the tomb in Geoff's video is actually specially hand-made by Geoff and Kathy themselves! (They used large foam boards (the kind from hardware stores), plus hot glue and paint and stuff).

Some of the bones and pieces of broken armour on the floor were also obtained specifically for the video, and spray-painted to fit in with the overall visual aesthetic.

Okay, now time to address the elephant in the room: Gimli!

Firstly, obligatory kudos to the incredible Rick Underwood for hair and makeup, and also for Gimli's prosthetic nose! I picked up on it almost as soon as Gimli started walking on screen during my first watch, yes, really, and I was rather proud of myself when it got confirmed in the BTS video

But also, credit to a woman named Melissa Feyereisen who created that massive red beard, and apparently some of the other hairpieces as well!

Honestly this is probably the least recognizable Geoff has been since the Hide And Seek/Ding Dong video, and definitely his most unrecognizable getup for a video on his own channel. Like seriously my brain cannot see this as Geoff, like at all, not even a tiny bit.

There's an explanation for that though! Or a few reasons, anyway, and perhaps they're obvious, but I shall say them regardless. For one thing, that helmet does a lot of the disguising work - it covers his forehead and partially blocks his eyebrows (which themselves got coloured ginger!), and the sides of it partially cover his cheeks and obscure his facial structure. And then of course there's the massive beard which covers his entire jawline, and the prosthetic nose. Combine that with the multi-layered character costume which fully covers him from the shoulders down, and you end up with a getup that could really confuse any potential first-time reactors who happen to stumble upon this video 😄

But anyway, time for more pictures!

Thorin! :D

Having the four "main dwarves" appear as ghostly figures was a clever choice, as it gives a way to incorporate them into a scene they don't originally appear in, per the book (because Gimli is from The Lord Of The Rings, and the others are from The Hobbit, which is a prequel). But also it's a neat way of rounding out the narrative that was built for them through Misty Mountains and I See Fire!

Here comes Fili! (And now notice the light shining from the top-left part of the frame, akin to the beam of light in the original movie scene!)

Also this is more of an audiovisual thing but I didn't mention it in my musical thoughts/commentary post (LINK) so I'm saying it here: the vocal parts of the four "ghost dwarves" are the same as they were in I See Fire! (And probably Misty Mountains too, but not all of them get solo lines in that one so it's harder to tell). So from lowest to highest in vocal range, it goes Thorin, Kili, Fili, and then Bofur. (Kathy helped a lot with making sure Geoff knew which vocal lines were sung by who; a million shoutouts to Kathy!)

Oh and also the return of Thorin and Fili means the return of the fur-trimmed coat with the embroidered shoulder-cuff, and the leather shirt thing with the metal rings on it! The shirt was worn by Layne in My Mother Told Me and Valhalla Calling, as was the coat, but the coat was also worn by Eli in Mountain King and Classical Chaos.

Love a good dramatic lighting flash! Makes me think back to Hoist The Colours (or the VP video I can't talk about yet)

No prizes for guessing who did the lighting design! The one and only Eli Jacobson! (But also Geoff definitely had a hand in the ideas process and establishing the sort of lighting he wanted for different sections, so big shoutouts to them both!)

Kili! <3 <3

Geoff really knows how to work the "scruffy"/light facial hair look sometimes ngl 👀 (And as always I can't help but very much love his white-grey streak of hair getting to be on display)

And finally we have Bofur!

Also I gotta wonder exactly how many various fur pieces and fur-lined clothing stuff Pattycake studios owns at this point, because between the viking videos, the Grundel videos, and the dwarf videos, there seem to be a lot of people/characters wearing fur, and I'm genuinely not sure how many are unique and how many items are actually used more than once!

Another dramatic lighting flash!

And now the lighting has switched from a blue colour to a warm gold, because now the song is talking about how the world was "in Durin's day". It's talking about times of happiness and prosperity, and so the lighting shifts to match it!

(Also if you're wondering how Geoff knows when to turn to "look at" another dwarf character and in what direction, Kathy helped with that too! She was literally behind the camera giving arm signals (working off a script thing) during filming. She is a queen and we are all very lucky to have her (including Geoff!).

*hopelessly-in-love sigh*

Look, I really wasn't expecting to have heart eyes for Thorin!Geoff in this video, but then again, I also wasn't expecting to actually kinda be attracted to Jeoph in Unshaken AND YET-

It's that dang smile, it melts me almost every time I see it!

(I also still love Kili!Geoff though, for obvious reasons)

Lighting change! Now we're talking (singing) about making weapons and armour and stuff, and so the lighting is red, because like war and fighting and stuff, y'know (that's my own speculation on the lighting change anyway - it's not actually confirmed, so you can take it with a grain of salt)

And now the song "calms down" (slows down) a bit and takes a bit of a more sombre tone, and so the lighting changes accordingly.

Not much self-conducting hand movements in this one - Kili!Geoff does it the most in this one, but still not as much as typical. I guess it's partially from remaining "in character", and partially from the fact that most of the characters here are holding onto something, and so hand movements are a bit more restricted.

Say it with me everybody! He's! So! Pretty!

(Someone commented on the video that it's easy to forget that all five characters are the same person (because of the incredible costuming and stuff), and Geoff replied saying "It's all thanks to my incredibly bland face. It's like the perfect blank canvas 😉". Honestly! This man! But I did adore the remark of one of the other Patrons in the Discord server, saying that "I'm convinced my aquatic ancestors evolved eyes just so that one day I would be able to gaze upon that 'bland' face." 🤣 So extremely valid, and what a mood.)

On the line "but still the sunken stars appear/In dark and windless Mirrormere", the lighting goes back to gold one more time, reflective of one last remaining piece of hope to cling onto.

"Till Durin wakes again from sleep"

And so Gimli now continues on his journey, and that's the end of the video!

I really like this cover, I really like this video, and I of course always love making these posts! And, assuming I don't get too swamped by classes, assessments, and other real-life commitments, I'll hopefully be doing a new Voiceplay Visuals post in about a week from now, one that I've basically been waiting a whole month to do at this point! Until next time!