#i absolutely do not have a design for the host so this will have to do

[tiktaaliker]

man sometimes i kinda want to get back into the warriors animation community but then i realize. man id rather just draw my own guys

[artataliaf]

the beef and dairy network podcast is the number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of beef animals, and dairy herds.

[nope-body]

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[felassan]

Transcript of the DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC.

Update: this post has now been updated into a full transcript.

BioWare have said that they are going to share a recording of the panel at a later date. In the meantime, here is a transcript of it. When the recording is available, I will update this post further if required. This is a word-for-word transcript (in as far as it was possible to make one, it was quite a noisy room with lots of people in it), but a few bits were not clearly audible - these are marked as "[...]". listening to the original source in audio/video format, when it’s available, first-hand is of course always advisable, in case of any mis-hearings or missing things out etc on my part!! :>

there are other things from the panel here in this BioWare blogpost, collected in this compilation post, and also in this Tumblr post.

The panel was moderated/hosted by Lucy James. In attendance were creative director John Epler, creative performance director Ashley Barlow, and the actors of Lucanis, Neve, Emmrich, and Harding - Zach Mendez, Jessica Clark, Nick Boraine, and Ali Hillis respectively.

----

[panel begins]

Lucy: Goodness me, there are a lot of you. Hello everyone. Hello San Diego. But more importantly, hello Dragon Age fans! Give yourselves a cheer! Now welcome to a panel that I am so excited to be moderating today. A little bit of, what do you call it, a little bit of, I'm just gonna say it, we're doing Q&A at the end. There is a microphone right here. I will give a warning - housekeeping was the word I was searching for. We're gonna be doing Q&A at the end. I will give you a warning to come up and ask questions to this incredible panel of developers from BioWare and actors from the brand new Dragon Age game, The Veilguard. I'm Lucy James, I'm your moderator for today, but you're not here for me, you're here for these incredible people, so let's go down the line and see who we have on the panel today. We have creative director John Epler. Creative performance director Ashley Barlow. The poised and pragmatic assassin, playing the role of Lucanis, Zach Mendez. The necromancer Emmrich, we have Nick Boraine. Absolutely did not mean to skip, but we have different, different lineup over here. The voice behind the private detective Neve, Jessica Clark. And returning franchise favorite, you know her as Lace Harding, the lovable Scout, Ali Hillis. Now, we all love Dragon Age games for multiple reasons, whether it is the combat, the impactful decisions that we get to make, the romances - I know my [...], I know my - but the heart and soul of every game is always the companions, and so we are gonna be doing a deep dive into some of the new cast as well as, like I said, returning franchise favorite. So I'm gonna kick off with you, John.

John: Awesome.

Lucy: Can, you know, you've been at BioWare for a couple of years now.

John: Yeah, seventeen years as of this year, so.

Lucy: Wow. Can you tell us a little bit about your history with Dragon Age?

John: Absolutely. So as mentioned, I've been at BioWare for coming up on seventeen years now. I worked as a QA tester on Dragon Age: Origins, moved into cinematic design, did that [...] Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, and then became lead cinematic designer for Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser, where I worked closely with Trick Weekes, building out that story. And then now as creative director on Dragon Age: The Veilguard, which has been just a fantastic project to be a part of.

Lucy: Now, I assume pretty much everyone in this room has gone frame-by-frame through the trailers and gameplay videos and every BioWare social post about Dragon Age, but just in case there's anyone in the room who is unfamiliar, give us the quick overview of Dragon Age: The Veilguard?

John: Absolutely. So Dragon Age: The Veilguard is the latest entry in the Dragon Age franchise. It takes place approximately ten years after the end of Inquisition. You start the game hunting for Solas. It's a game built on some core principles of: be who you want to be, in a world worth saving, and with characters who matter. So, again, companions always at the heart of Dragon Age, they're at the heart of this one as well.

Lucy: And so, I mean, why is this team coming together? You mentioned it a little bit there, and like, what's bringing this, kinda 'rogues' gallery' together?

John: I mean it's the end of the world, and each character that you bring into your party understands that the world's ending, that they need to stop that, and you're really building, what I would say is more of a found family. These are characters who may not start off liking each other, may not even start off liking you, but over time, they grow to understand the importance of what they're doing and just, how critical it is to stop the elven gods.

Lucy: Now we were chatting a little bit before the panel, and you kinda said, like, a bold statement which was that this is one of the best groups BioWare has ever written. I say 'bold', cause we all have our favorites. What makes you say that? What's going on with The Veilguard that makes them so special?

John: Yeah, I mean, I think that every Dragon Age game the companions we write and create for those games are the best companions for that one. And I think in this case, what's really fascinating and what I've really loved to see come out through the game, through its development is, the way these characters form relationships, not just with you but with each other, so, whereas, you know, sometimes characters maybe don't interact as much. Each one of these has a relationship that extends beyond Rook, the protagonist, but also some become friends, some become lovers, and some become rivals. And it's just, the way that they learn to get over their differences, or put them aside, has really been fun and exciting, because they all represent a different part of the world of Thedas.

Lucy: I am very excited to see how these family dynamics come together, avoiding my real life family for my virtual family. Ashley, you’ve been playing a huge role in helping bring these characters to life. Can you tell us a little bit about your role at BioWare?

Ashley: Yeah. I’m the creative performance director, so I get to cast all of these characters, with the team at BioWare, of course. And then work tirelessly in the booth with them, I mean, they just met like this weekend. I just silo them off, and they do their work, and they listen to each other, and, you know, 3000 hours later, and then they get them back around, and we can iterate on it, and they can say, ‘oh, oh that’s what everyone sounds like!’, now they get to play off of it. So, it’s a big road-trip in a VO booth. From my house.

Lucy: A big road trip. A big deal. A big game. Where do you even begin with a behemoth like this?

Ashley: We, we audition our companions. We have to make sure that our leads can play off of each other, that compliment each other, that juxtapose each other. Like John said, it’s kind of like a family, an un-chosen family, and so we need them to, you know, it’s, you need to create an ensemble, a diverse ensemble, so that the players get the choice of who they want to bring on this hero’s journey. And so, we brought them all in, you know, and they, we do motion capture, so we need to see how they move, and how they walk, and how they talk, and how they can act like heroes. And they all carry themselves so well. Now, it’s tripping me out, because they all look like their characters to me.

Lucy: Now, there are plenty of returning faces in The Veilguard, but there are new companions that we will get to know and love. Let’s start with Lucanis. John, can you give us a little quick overview of his background, and what’s his deal?

John: Absolutely. So Lucanis is the stylish assassin from the Antivan Crows, you know. But, not bloodthirsty, more, as he sees assassination as a job, one that he is extremely skilled at. Over the course of the story, you learn more about him, more about his character, more about his relationship, not just within The Veilguard, but also with the Crows and with other characters in the world. And I think, it’s fascinating to see how that grows over the course of the game.

Lucy: Now Zach, you are the voice. I mean, how do you approach this? Where did you […]?

Zach: Well, when I first found out I got the role, I read Tevinter Nights, which is the book, that came out [...] and you should read. And I read The Wigmaker Job, in which Lucanis is featured. I read it about three times, and after I closed the book I realized, ‘this might be the coolest guy I ever get to play’. I mean, not only is he a smooth assassin, not only is he determined - yes, he can kill you a thousand different ways, but what struck me was, his mind is as dangerous as his knives. I mean this is a guy who takes in the environment with all five senses. He’s constantly attuning himself to the kind of shifting terrain of every mission. And also, he’s kinda hilarious. I mean, if you look at his relationship with his cousin Illario, in The Wigmaker Job, they’re constantly giving each other crap. But there’s a lotta love there, so I got to pull, you know, from my relationship with my brother. Because we love each other dearly, but we can be ruthless with each other. And so, it was really easy to play in that way.

Lucy: I mean, yeah, you mentioned being a comedian there. Ashley, how was working with Zach?

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: Harnessing that and bringing it to the character.

Ashley: Zach’s one of the funniest people I know. And that’s a lot to live up to. But, you know, he came in as one of the most adaptable actors. And, you know, we did a lot of motion capture during 2020, 2021, 2022, even 2023, and so Zach stood in for like, Assan, and Varric, like all the characters [...] just mostly, most - [a scene plays on the screen behind the panel of the actors doing mo-cap. Zach as Assan hops along the ground like :D over to Davrin, Rook and another character. Davrin is happy to see him and scratches him under the chin. Davrin motions to Rook, who then bends down and hugs Assan] - I mean I’m pretty sure [...] a huge inspiration for the cinematics. Once you see this scene that this is, like - remember it, 'cause [...] -

Zach: Just know, when you’re hugging Assan, you’re hugging me. That means a lot.

Ashley: It’s true! But, yeah, but, for Lucanis, Zach was able to bring, I mean once you get in the game and you meet Lucanis, you’ll know that he’s, you know, a murdering Crow, and then, is a […], you know, there’s a darkness. [there is a rumbling noise in the background and the panelists look around confused]

[?]: I think it's just thundering.

Ashley: It’s thundering, let's, let's do a -

Zach: The darkness.

[...]

Ashley: But in the darkness -

Zach: Prepare yourselves. [background noise continues]

Ali[?]: It’s coming.

Zach: Seriously, what is that? What’s happening?

A person off to the side: Other rooms!

Zach: Okay, okay, okay, thank you.

Ashley: Okay, thank you. [...] think you were doing it. As you can tell, he brought like a, he brings a lightness to it, ‘cause you can’t always be that heavy. I don’t want to be scared or crying in the booth all the time. And thank God the writers, John included, and all of the writers of Lucanis really brought some fast, quick-witted writing. So he’s quick as a whip, he really lightened it up, and can’t wait til you guys get in and play it and romance this sucker! Sorry! Sorry not sorry!

Lucy: I was going to say, how does it also feel to play a romanceable character?

Zach: Oh, I’m quite excited about it. Ashley has promised to give me the stats of how many people romance me. I'm really looking forward to that.

Lucy: No pressure, gotta get those numbers up!

Zach: Yeah, I know. But, that’s the great thing about Lucanis, is that, you know, he’s extremely smooth, as an assassin, but, and, yes, he does have a heart, he does have a soft side, he’s not completely adept at always dealing with other people and interactions of that such, you know, he’s extremely stubborn and stuck in his ways, so it’s really hard for him to let people in sometimes, so I’m really excited for fans to get to meet him, and, you know, help him open up.

Lucy: And before we go to the rest of your illustrious cast members, what’s, what was, what’s been your highlight of working on The Veilguard? Is it, you know, this moment getting to see everyone in person? Was it a story from on set one day, or an interaction with one of the devs?

Zach: Well, you know, I did, before the first day of shooting, I did kinda get an idea about how passionate the fanbase was, which made me really excited. I don’t wanna say nervous, because I don’t say I’m nervous, I say I’m excited. And so before the first day of shoot, I was very excited. And luckily, you know, Ashley and them, didn’t have me do too much on the first day. I played a lot of darkspawn. I darkspawn-ed my ass off, though. I want you guys to know, I really –

Ashley: Oh he did, yeah.

Zach: – and when I got home, I thought to myself, you know, ‘Zach, did you darkspawn hard enough?’ I was just worried! You know, and within an hour I got a text from Jeff, who’s a part of this cast as well, and Jee, telling me what a great job I did. And then, I’ll never forget. I got a call from Ali Hillis down here. And I will remember that conversation, because for thirty minutes, she made me feel like I was welcome in the Dragon Age family, and it gave me so much confidence moving forward. So thank you Ali, so much, I still remember that, God bless you.

Lucy: That is lovely. See, the family stuff coming up already. I’m very excited.

Ashley: [...]

Lucy: Right, let’s move on. Coming to the private detective, Neve, who we actually got a glimpse of in the gameplay reveal from a few weeks ago. Let’s take a quick look. [a scene plays on the screen; the scene when Rook meets Neve in the prologue with Varric and Harding, that we saw in the gameplay reveal video] Now John, can you give us a quick overview of Neve?

John: Absolutely. So Neve, as you can see in the video, is one of the first companions that you encounter in Dragon Age: The Veilguard. She’s from Tevinter, Minrathous specifically. And anyone who’s played Dragon Age before knows that we’ve always talked about Minrathous, we’ve always talked about Tevinter, so we wanted to have a character who showed, not the parts of Tevinter that we’ve touched on before, you know, obviously slavery is a big part of it, it’s a mageocracy, but somebody who was pushing back, fighting back against that. And Neve’s shown up in the ancillary media as well, in the comics The Missing. And it’s just, she is that, you know, somewhat cynical detective with a bit of a heart of gold, bit of [a?] romantic, and just seeing her character evolve over the course of The Veilguard, over the course of the game, because again, she’s one of the first people you meet, is. Always fun seeing Neve’s character bounce off other the followers, banter has been super fun, just the way that she, what she brings to the table is always, it’s always so interesting to me.

Lucy: Jessica, I mean, what was it like getting that call to find out that you were gonna be in Dragon Age?

Jessica: It was slightly terrifying, and it was, I just felt really honored immediately, because I feel like, to be, I feel like they entrusted me with such, something with such significance and such importance to so many people, and so I just really wanted to honor that, and bring everything that I could to this fabulous character that I had been gifted. So yeah, that was.

Lucy: And I understand that you are kind’ve newer to the kind’ve voice acting, kind’ve realm. How was it different from more traditional roles?

Jessica: I am pretty new to it. I’ve barely done anything as significant, Dragon Age is enormous. It was very freeing honestly, I mean, like Ashley said, they auditioned and auditioned and auditioned and auditioned us. Like, every time I was brought in, I was like, ‘oh I didn’t get that’, you know what I mean? And then three months later there was another audition, and. But it was just so interesting and so freeing, because it really is sort’ve, it almost felt like play pretend, like when I was a little girl, you know? And it’s like what you dream up in your imagination. Because they, you know, they give you this character, and they give you some of the dialogue and then they really wanna see where you go with it and how you move and how you embody her and how you react to dragons that aren’t there because you’re in an audition room. You know, like all of that. So, and then, also, playing Neve, it really allowed me, and being a voice actor, it really allowed me to sort’ve step into my power a bit more, because, you know, I’m very tall, and things like that. And so, in a lot of my, sort’ve, more traditional television and film work, they kind’ve want you to be the girl, and I have to raise my voice, and be a little softer, and you know, kind’ve, not diminish myself, I don’t wanna say that, but just be very conscious of my physicality. And then Neve, it’s completely the opposite. You know, so Ashley had to work with me literally on dropping my register and things like that, and it was so confusing at the beginning, and then it was so amazing, to kind’ve have that opportunity, so I’m very grateful.

Lucy: Yeah. I mean, what drew you, what’s your favorite thing about Neve? – get that applause going, go on, let's go!

Jessica: I love her loyalty, I love her dedication, I love how much she loves Docktown and its people and how she really sees a different vision for Tevinter than, as John said, than what’s previously been depicted. And she’s really really fighting for those people, and she loves those people, and so yes she’s cynical, and yes she’s kinda tough and brusque and all these other things, but when they say there’s a heart of gold, there really, like to have that kind of a passion and dedicate your life to something like that, I think that, that’s my favorite part about her.

Lucy: And what were some of your highlights from, I mean, is it, is it kind of strange to record a video game, because I assume you’re doing things in different orders -

Ashley: Yeah.

Jessica: Oh yes.

Lucy: - working with some people some days and other people different days - tell me about that?

Jessica: I mean in terms of that, I just trusted Ashley and John, you know, and they know, and I was there to learn and embody and kind’ve grow into that. But I think my favorite thing, even though we were all separate disembodied voices a lot of the time, we kind’ve really all bonded in the way that we were intended to, you know? And that’s why we’ve been so excited all week and all weekend, because we can be like, ‘oh my god, you’re here, oh my god you’re here, you’re here, you’re here’, finally, you know? And you know, I know on a lot of projects, people are like ‘oh yeah, we’re all like, we love each other’, but we really do, we really really do. And it just evolved so organically. And there was something magical about it just being our voices in the beginning. You know, like sort’ve taking anything else out of the -

Zach: Equation.

Jessica: – you know what I’m saying. I’ve run out of words.

Ashley[?]: Yeah, it’s like an audible penpal. […] speaking to each other for so long.

Jessica: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ashley: It's nice with Jess, [...] she hit it on the head, you know, voice acting, you know, I hate to say it, I don't wanna put Jess - Jessica’s obviously a beautiful woman, but in the booth, it doesn’t matter. We just, pulled out the power and the range that Neve has, and it’s limitless, and as a woman to see that kind of writing and that kind of performance ability is, I know for a lot of us in the room, probably, pretty badass.

Lucy: Jess, I wanna, I'm gonna come back to something, because you mentioned, like, you’ve been messaging, and that the cast, you know, really loves each other, is there a Veilguard groupchat?

Jessica: There are several.

Lucy: Hold up. Who sends the most memes, who is the person who only reacts with the thumbs-up emoji?

Jessica: I, I would say Jeff is the most active, who plays one of the Rooks, I would say, in that respect, and to bounce off what Zach said, just an incredibly generous actor. And then, Ali, like it’s so true, like I had that story too, like literally even being back there, I was like, [gasp], I was like, she’s like, ‘it’s gonna be okay’, she’s like, ‘it’s good, it’s like, you’re gonna love it, it’s gonna feel special’. She literally like held my hands and like looked into my eyes and was like [inhale, exhale], you know? [looks at Ali and reaches out to her] I love you.

Lucy: I was gonna say, if we’re doing an Ali love-in, she did that for me too. So.

[?]: She does that for everyone.

Lucy: She’s done it for everyone? Fantastic!

Ali: Guys, you’re making me cry!

Lucy: We didn’t expect, hang on, we did expect one of our companions to be - a stone cold gray fox. BioWare treating us well. Emmrich has been driving the internet wild. And so, John, can you give us a little bit of background there?

John: Absolutely.

Lucy: Where did Emmrich come from?

John: I mean honestly, I will say like, we expected a great reaction to Emmrich. Went beyond what we expected for sure. But it’s been fascinating to see, because again, Emmrich is this character, he’s more of the professorial, more, he brings a wisdom and kind of a calmness to the group, so even when things are at their worst, there’s that one person in the group who’s kind’ve like, ‘okay, you know, we’ve got, let’s figure it out, slow, take a deep breath’. And just his journey through his character arc and his interaction with the others, it’s been fantastic to see. Even just finding opportunities for him to bounce off the other characters, you know, the way he talks to Bellara, the way he talks to Neve, it’s all so different, but it’s all so just, again, based around this core of this warm, kind-hearted, professorial necromancer, which again is not something that you see a lot of in media, usually necromancers are depicted a very specific way. But it’s been, just awesome to see how Emmrich has grown and just, really one of the most, one of my favorite experiences has been just working with Emmrich’s writer and working with Emmrich as a character.

Lucy: And Nick, you are the voice behind Emmrich.

Nick: I am.

Lucy: How did you prepare for the role, you know, what were you told about him before you got into the booth for the first time?

Nick: I think I’ve been preparing for Emmrich all my life. I was very attracted to the role initially. And I was so, I was overjoyed when I got it because I think it was, the writing of Emmrich is really fascinating. It’s this, this man that is obsessed with death, on one hand, but on death as a comfort, death as a transition, death as something that is not scary, and that ability to enable people to transition, and the investment that he gives in that sphere, which we don’t give in our own lives. I was immediately attracted to that and I thought that that was – I’d never seen that before, and so to go in these two ways, to talk about death and to talk about it in a way that is kind and that the transition becomes a kind transition, that was fascinating to me, and I think, will be fascinating to you too, yeah.

Lucy: And I hear as well that Emmrich gets, I mean, you’re all gonna get some fantastic lines, but I hear that Emmrich has some quite spectacular ones. You, Nick, you and Ashley, I would love to hear about the process of, was it difficult to get like some of those tongue-twisters, and?

Ashley: Yeah, Sylvia the lead writer basically was like, ‘Ash, you’re gonna need a dictionary for all of the sessions with Emmrich’, it’s like, 'Okay!'. And we get there, you just nailed them all, like 'shduhfejdkjjdhdjdhfjehfjkhehe into the Fade'.

Nick: Well, I don’t know if I nailed them all, that’s very kind of you. But, there was some serious tongue-twisters there, and, but it’s great, it’s great to be in the booth, and to be given a challenge like that, and. Yeah, it’s fantastic, I mean that’s what I love to do, so it was great to be just gifted that.  

Ashley: You’re such a natural nerdy scientist. […]

Nick: It's my inner self.

Ashley: It's your inner secret.

Nick: Yeah.

Lucy: Now I love that, and I think, I think the, I, I’m drawn towards with Emmrich is that like, he loves learning.

Ashley: Yeah!

Lucy: It’s very clear, like, it seems like you’ve really just thrown yourself into this role and the world of Dragon Age. You know, I asked Zach a similar question and it’s like, you’ve been working on this for so long, what’s it like now that people have caught a glimpse of your character, it is just a glimpse, but people are desperate to know more?

Nick: I mean it’s so interesting that this character has kind of caught fire a little because, when I did it I thought ‘okay, well everyone else is like so sexy and like, it’s just amazing, and I’ll just be this kind of professorial kinda guy chatting in the background, having fun, you know, dealing with death, and you know, on the side’, and suddenly it became this thing of like, no, this is actually really interesting. And I think people have found it interesting, and I love that! I love that you guys have also found it as interesting as I have as because, it’s, it's a fantastic character, he’s a fantastic character, honestly.

Lucy: I mean, Ashley, working with Nick, any other highlights to share about your time in the booth, or?

Ashley: Oh man, every, Nick is the most consistent person I’ve ever met in the booth – or in his garage.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: Recording booth, he’s really like [a hippy in art?], so I, so it’s kinda trippy, seeing you again in person and knowing what your character looks like.

Nick: Yeah.

Ashley: But yeah, you’ve just been so consistent with Emmrich and bringing this grounded-ness, and I’ve learned so much working with you, and. Yeah, now, you tell me, what, what good really looks like.

Nick: Oh wow, thank you, thank you. Appreciate that.

Lucy: I mean obviously, there’s Manfred too.

Nick: [gasp!]

Lucy: Played by Matt Mercer. What was it like kind’ve having another character to [...] bounce off of?

Nick: Oh man! I mean that is such a hard question because Matt and I have never met.

Ashley: Yeah.

Nick: And we worked completely separately, and. I mean I know that the rapport is really great, but it’s in the ether, I mean it is just, the magic that these guys create, telling us how to respond, how to do that, but it’s, I can’t wait to meet Matt.

Ashley: We recorded, basically before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: All of before Manfred.

Nick: Right.

Ashley: And so Manfred got to play off of your straight delivery -

Nick: OH he did? I did not know that. Oh man!

Ashley: I know!

Nick: He got the easy part!

Ashley: Yeah, totally! So you set him up, just to knock it out of the park –

Nick: Right!

Lucy: Okay, so you got to set the tone. You get [...]

Ashley: Yeah, yeah […]

Nick: Right right right right. I set the tone!

Lucy: And, finally. Last but certainly not least, Ali Hillis returning as Scout Harding. Please [indicates for applause]. Now, I’m so excited because, she’s one of my favorite Dragon Age characters period and it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of her. But what has she been up to, John, between Inquisition and The Veilguard?

John: So I mean, if you’ve read the comics, you know that Scout Harding has been working with Varric to track down Solas. So she has been on his tail for quite some time. The game starts just as they finally - tracked him down, figured out where he is, but she’s been working with the remnants of the Inquisition, working with Varric, and then also working with Rook and Neve. Again, if you read the comics, you know that Harding has met Neve, they have a […] relationship before the events of the game. But yeah, she is dedicated to taking someone who used to be a friend, someone she considered, you know, even if they weren’t close, because Harding wasn’t part of the Inquisitor’s core companions, somebody she knew, somebody who treated her with some amount of respect, and knowing what he’s up to now, knowing she has to stop him, so.

Lucy: She was in the core Inquisitor’s, of my heart, so.

John: That’s right, well, I mean, she had the light romance, so.

Lucy: I tried to flirt with her every time. Never went anywhere. Ali, you are no stranger to playing beloved BioWare characters, obviously, Doctor Liara T’Soni.

Ali: [in her Liara voice] It is very nice to see you all today.

Lucy: What’s it like to be returning as Lace Harding?

Ali: First of all, it was a complete surprise. I don’t know if it was for you guys, but it was for me. So I was so excited when I got that call, because I had no idea it was coming. And after recording the last Dragon Age, and going to cons, much like this one, and having the line in front of me and all my pictures spread out, and every few people, someone would come up and say, well, ‘Where’s your Scout Harding photo?’ I was like, ‘oh, I didn’t bring one! Like. I didn’t realize! Okay!’ So I started getting more into the idea that this was a really beloved character, and I didn’t realize! And she was so much fun to create because BioWare gives us so much freedom as actors, it’s such a collaborative effort, both with Liara as well as Scout, I remember getting in the studio for the very first time to record these characters. I do a lot of voiceover, I do a lot of amazing games, I don’t always remember the very first day in the studio with a project, and I do for both of these projects. Because they were so poignant in my life, because it was, it was, a group of people coming together, they had already obviously conceptualized these characters. There was art, there was writing, brilliant writing that we are only so lucky to chew on in these voiceover sessions with such expert direction. The material that we are given to work with, only, just blasts us off this planet, in the acting world. But, just, knowing that when we went in to create Scout Harding to begin with, and one of the ideas I remember us talking about was, like, ‘well, I wonder if she’s kind of a character whom, when she talks, maybe she draws in the dirt with her toe?’ You know, coming up with these little tiny bits of yumminess to create a character and build it, the fact that they give us that honor to work with them on it, you know, is incredible. So when I heard that she was coming back, I was thrilled from the inside out, because I felt a part of this whole thing, so thank you, guys, for bringing her back. You! [to the audience] You! [to BioWare devs' direction] Thank you.

Lucy: I think I can speak for all of us when I say, we are thrilled.

Ashley: Yeah.

Lucy: You know, a lot has changed in the time since Dragon Age: Inquisition. I mean, what, how, for you has the experience of recording changed, like, technology-wise? Obviously, a little thing happened in 2020 we don’t have to talk about, but how has it changed for you?

Ali: Yeah, and speaking of that little thing that we’re not supposed to talk about, but the way that this company pivoted and, I mean, we were working on something, we had a project in the works, and somehow, every single person had to deal with this big thing in the world that we’re not talking about -

Lucy: We can talk about it.

Ali: - and somehow produce a game! So when you guys play this, just know that the amount of effort that went into this one, you know, maybe exceeds every game I’ve ever worked on because, we had to, everyone had to pivot, you know, suddenly we’re working from our garages – me too – and usually we’re wearing pants. And, and, you know, when I worked on past games with BioWare, everybody was in Edmonton, pretty much, and then everyone just kinda dispersed and I didn’t know where anybody was, and Ash was working out of her house all the time. It was incredible because we just did it, we pivoted, like all of you did, like all of us did, and we all came together and we made it happen and I was really really proud of that. Anyway, I know we weren’t supposed to talk about it, but it was magical, and powerful, and incredible. And I’m so sorry, back to the original question.

Lucy: No, I mean, how has the process changed for you?

Ali: The process has changed for me? I got to do p-cap! I got to be her! I got to physicalize, they gave me that, I got to physicalize her this time, which I didn’t get to do last time and I did not get to do in Mass Effect. And I really had a great time with it! Because, just like these guys have all talked about, we all come from different acting and theater backgrounds, I think Ash as well, and different types of performance, and it was cool to get on the volume - the p-cap stage -because, it’s like a theater.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: You have freedom! It’s better than a theater because you can turn around backwards and talk like this and everybody still knows what’s going on, so, it’s freedom in acting and we get to really bring the character to life outside of being behind the microphone and envisioning all of it, we actually get to perform. So that was one big difference for me in this game particularly. That, and the, doing it from my home sometimes in voiceover, or studio, it was, we kinda just, went with the flow.

Lucy: Is it easy to come back to a character that you kinda know inside out, or is it kind of like a mental block about it because you’re returning to something, or is it easier to come up with something new to […] What was it like getting back into the shoes of Harding?

Ali: That’s a really good question because it had been a minute. I mean, I’m so excited this game is releasing, how about you? Woo! You know what, with her, again, just kind of like Liara, because we came about this character so organically, I did ask, I remember asking to hear voice-bytes, I just wanna make sure we were in the same ballpark. But also, you know, there’s been an evolution.

Ashley: Yeah, you’ve seen some shit.

Ali: Yeah. We can’t really talk about it, you guys’ll have to find out for yourselves. But there’s been an evolution, so.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: So, yeah, it’s, it's, I can’t really say anything else about it without giving stuff away.

Ashley: She comes back with such, like, a veteran voice, y'know?

Lucy: Yeah, I kinda noticed that, like, she’s, she’s got a little bit more of an edge to her.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: Yes.

John: Well, she’s been chasing Solas for almost a decade, so.

Ali: And I love that, that is an amazing relationship that you guys created. And then I’ll stop talking about that. Damn!

John: No more!

Ali: I’m so excited!

John: I know!

Ali: I defer to these guys!

Lucy: I mean, question, kind’ve for all of you. We kind’ve touched on it a little bit, the challenges, and you know, the fact that the game is almost here, Fall 2024. I’d love to know, down the line, and just, you know, what’s been kind’ve your guiding light for all of you on this project?

John: I mean for me, it’s always been about, Dragon Age has always been about the people. I mean, the companions, the villains, the allies you make along the way. And for us, making sure that that stayed central, that that was still our guiding light. We really wanted to focus the game, the story, the gameplay, always around yourself as a character, but also the other characters in the world, not just, again, how they relate to you, but also, having these relationships, having this idea of this world that exists, with people that exist, not just as kind’ve a theme park for the player character to go through. But they have lives, and they have internality, like they’ve got an internal life of their own, that cause them to act in ways that may not always be predictable, but is always fascinating, and makes them feel real, even if you’re only getting a few dozen lines, they feel like real people.

Lucy[?]: Yeah.

Ashley: Yeah. I think that was my guiding light, like, I’m, have to find logic in these, you know, over hundred thousand lines in the story and over 700 unique characters you can meet. And I, in this fantasy world, I, we’re all still looking for the truth. What is the truth? How can we ground this? Do I believe it? Do you believe it? Are we in it? And that was always my North star. And, you know, often times I’m in the booth, and sometimes I’ll just, ‘I don’t buy it, I don’t buy it’, or, and, so, it was my job to be the gatekeeper, I felt, in the booth, to make sure, that I buy it, so you will all buy it.

Zach: I made the mistake, before we started shooting, of checking out the Reddit of Dragon Age. Not a good idea. It was a bad idea. But what I did, what struck me is that these people, these fans, have the same passion for this game that I have had for a hundred fantasy worlds. You know, places where I’ve gone into and discovered different parts of myself through. through, following these stories. And so I felt an, I felt so, it was so incumbent upon me to put as much effort as I could into this game. And I really do feel like the fans inspired me to pour my heart and soul into this, and I just cannot wait for you guys to play it, I really cannot.

Lucy: Jessica, what about you?

Jessica: I would say for me it was the dialogue, honestly. I loved the writing, Brianne was my writer, and Ashley, and John, and she’s right, like it’s, you gotta go deeper, and like we’re trying to find it, and we’re trying to find it together, and sometimes we’re not there, and sometimes we have to come back to it, you know, there was, I could tell there was such an evolution in my work, and part of that was because I just kind’ve gave it over to the writing. And whenever I did get to play off the other actors, you know, sometimes they’ll have, you can play in with their lines, and that was just such a joy, and I got to like discover other little parts of the game that I had no idea about, you know, because we’re doing it in isolation. So that was kind’ve the joy for me, and just honestly trusting, trusting the team and Ashley and John, so.

Lucy: Nick?

Nick: Yeah, I mean I’d have to say narrative as well, I think what the writers have done on this show, you don’t get in other games, you just don’t. You don’t get the level of, the depth of character. And character makes story. And that is what they focused on here. And I just kept coming back into that booth going, ‘I’ve never, I’ve never, experienced this before’. And just one last thing as well, I think the fact that we were separate, and I’m only just sort’ve putting this together now, the fact that we didn’t see each other, the fact that we didn’t know each other, has created a kind of magic that, I think is extraordinary. You can’t see somebody and you have to listen in the dark for cues and signals, and you have to put it together. That, that is magical. And I think, out of the chaos of 2020, 2021, 2022, which was exactly when we were recording and trying to figure this out, that’s when the magic came together, that’s, and I think we all feel that here, and I really hope you guys do too.

Lucy: Ali?

Ali: Well I feel like they’ve kinda covered it. I was gonna speak to kinda like what John said. One thing I really like about this game particularly, and I think you guys will find this as well, is you really find yourself in it.

Ashley: Yeah.

Ali: And the relationships, not only with the player and the people you bring along, but the team with each other, it’s just, it’s so well-written, the relationships are so conditioned that you really get lost in the moment. And I love when I’m at a con signing somewhere and someone comes to the table and says, you know, ‘this is a game that took me away from something I was dealing with in my real life, and I’m so grateful for it’, and I feel like, this is one of those games. This is gonna take you into a world that’s gonna blow your mind. And, I was just so honored to be a part of this group, again, again, I’m just gonna echo everything everybody said. But when I would hear their voices in my cans, in my headset, and I don’t get to see their faces, there is something so specific and so intimate about that experience, when you’re not seeing each other, and you’re just hearing, they have this amazing system where we get to hear each other. Whoever’s recorded first is played, if I’m having a conversation with these guys, if they’ve recorded first, I get to hear them and talk back. Acting is reacting. So it’s really nice that I actually get to react honestly off of these guys with expert guidance. So, I was really appreciative that we’ve conditioned these relationships in a fantasy land and also in real life, and I think you guys will feel that when you play.

Lucy: Now we do have time for Q&A. I'm gonna ask the panel another question, but if you wanna start lining up, we have, people are jumping to their feet already, this is great. We have a microphone right here. Before we go to Q&A, I suppose, what's the big, the biggest takeaway you want when people actually get to play later this year?

John: For me, honestly, it's just, how much this project has just been a team effort in a way that, everyone is working collaboratively with each other, everyone is bouncing off each other. Everyone was talking earlier about the writing, but I think what's fascinating for [...] has been so awesome to see is, the actors also shaping these characters as we built them. Seeing, like, how, Nick delivers a line, how Zach delivers a line, how Jessica delivers a line, how, and then, bouncing off that and then forming the character, shaping the character, so. We realize, okay, so, Ali has this, you know, has this, says things in a very specific way. Maybe we, let's re-write a few things, let's really lean into this, you know, what she brings to the character, and it's just. That's true across the entire team. It's not just the actor, it's not just the writer, but everybody who has worked on it, has a little piece of themselves in it. And to me there's just this excitement that that brings, and just this amazing passion that you can see in everything that's been built in this game.

Ali: It's so cool, I was gonna say, when we were recording, and I know we gotta get these questions, when we were recording during the pandemic and we were at home, I didn't realize sometimes that on the Zoom call I'd only see Ashley's face, or sometimes, you know, whatever, whatever she puts up. And then suddenly I'd have a question, 'hey, so in this line, this and this?', suddenly, like, John, or somebody else would just pop in, and talk about the line, so, we were always collaborating, it was just amazing, I was very grateful to have you guys ever-present.

John: Thank you.

Lucy: Alright. Shall we go to our first question? We all ready?

[?]: Yeah.

Lucy: Alright.

Audience member: Hello. [...] fan of Dragon Age since Origins. Oh, I must say, I am very disappointed with this panel. You've failed to mention a very important part of the game! The factions!

John: Mmm!

Audience member: So I would like to know, what can you tell me about them, and, can you join them, or do you just interact with them?

John: So, you start the game, you get to choose which background you go with. Each one is tied to one of the major factions. But one of our principles from the start was the concept of 'characters not causes'. So we didn't wanna just give you, 'here's the Grey Wardens, they're just kinda this group that exists in the world', we wanted to attach characters to them. So I can speak to the Grey Wardens in particular, anyone who's read comics and any of our short stories know Evka and Antoine, they kind've represent your connection to that faction. And you can work with them throughout the story, you can help them out. And decide how much you want to spend time with them. But each one of them [...] represents these important forces in the world that you need to get on your side if you're gonna stop the end of the world, so.

Audience member: Looks good.

Lucy: I was gonna say, Zach, you've done, you've done your research, so how exciting was it for you to kind've see and hear all these factions coming into play?

Zach: What, I'm sorry, can you repeat the question?

Lucy: You did all your research, so.

Zach: Oh, yeah.

Lucy: How exciting was it for you to hear about these factions and then hearing about how they'll come into play in the game?

Zach: Well, I don't think they kept my voice for Antoine, but I did my best French accent, I think it was pretty painful for everybody else on set, I really did. Oh yeah, the Grey Wardens are a barrel of laughs, those guys, they're absolutely wonderful. Well, yeah, so I had to play a bunch of characters, so I had to really steep myself in the understanding that, okay, the Grey Wardens go a lot, go through a lot, actually, doing what they do. They make a pretty intense bond in order to carry out exactly what they do. So, I tried to bring that as best I can to the physicality when I did do the motion capture and whatnot, but I cannot wait to see how it plays out in the game.

Lucy: Next question.

Audience member: Hello, I've also been a fan of Dragon Age since Origins. So, I've noticed in pretty much all of the games, there's a lot of influence from classical fantasy and mythology. So I was wondering, general question for the whole panel, what was your first exposure to fantasy or mythological storytelling, and do you use any of that in your voice-acting?

John: Hm. I can speak to mine but I can't speak to the voice-acting part, obviously. I mean I read Lord of the Rings at a very young age, and everything that you read that you, any piece of art that you enjoy, engage with, it's obviously gonna have an influence on yourself and also what you do.

Ashley: Yeah, there's a [depth?], in it, you know, to the fantasy world, that acting, it's kind of timeless, right? It can be anything, anywhere, and I feel like when we were doing the voices, we, you know, we didn't want it to be in 2020 or 2024 or whatever, so I think that's how I was most influenced, is, what's the most universal sound or a language, or a mixture of those, that can feel like nobody knows what it is?

Zach: I mean I was obsessed with, I think it's Theseus and the Minotaur, that story, when I was young. Did I just put my foot, I think it's Theseus, it could be Perseus, I can never remember okay?

Audience member: It's Theseus.

Zach: It's Theseus? My man! Thank you. I appreciate it. But I love the symbolism in those types of myths, right? Like, the Minotaur is this half-man, half-beast, who sits in the middle of the labyrinth, and the labyrinth is, of course, your mind, and you are also the Minotaur, and you are also Theseus. But so, getting to see the symbolism that's represented in Dragon Age, and how deep the meaning is, like that, those the stories I've always wanted to tell, ever since I was young, so I, it was a real honor to get to bring this to life.

Jessica: I also, my first, was Lord of the Rings, but I also was very interested in Greek mythology growing up. And, yeah, I think it's that, as Zach said, the symbolism, that you see, and like, I think you really see that in Dragon Age, and I know you know, right, you all, like, know the lore, and go looking for things, and that's really exciting to me. And then, just, yeah, the limitless possibility, right? You're not limited to what people look like, or whether you're human, I don't know, you know what I'm saying, like, that can really can take your mind and the world and the depth of the world anywhere and everywhere. And that's so exciting.

Nick: Yeah, I mean, for me it was The Hobbit, as well, my mom read me The Hobbit, and I would go, 'stop, stop!' And I would run to her closet and put on a pair of her boots, these shiny boots, and wear a cape, and I would go 'okay, okay, carry on' [...], you know, just, I would just, I would just be so in it. And then I'd go like, 'stop, stop, I'm gonna read that bit, I'm gonna read that bit'. And, you know, it was just, it absolutely informed why I'm sitting here today.

Ali: I wish I had better answers. Talking about, instead of yesteryear, talking about recently, I was travelling, and we were in Greece, and I feel like I saw Dragon Age everywhere. Just like an inspiration to travel and look back and, I'm now infatuated with castles. So, actually, it's brought me into this world, instead of me discovering it, you know, a long time ago, this has what's really brought me here.

[?]: Thank you very much.

[?]: Thank you.

Lucy: Thank you for your question.

Audience member: Hello, thank you for answering questions. For the new companions, if you could romance, from your companion's perspective, which older companion would you romance?

Ali: This could get embarrassing!

Zach: I kinda have a thing for The Iron Bull. Yeah, I saw him for the first time when I was looking up some answer to some question I had when I was reading the books, and I was like, 'oh, that awakened something inside of me! Huh! Look at that!' - You guys are gonna leave me hanging after I said that I want to have sex with The Iron Bull?

Jessica: [...] Um, I, I, don't know, honestly, I'm overwhelmed by that question, so [...]

Nick: I guess I'm a little overwhelmed by that question too. I have a particular fondness for Manfred, but, you know that's, that's a very particular relationship. I would say, like, I think what you've done with Solas is really sexy [...]

Zach: Dorian is really cute too. Yeah. [...] the mustache. Dig that guy.

Ali: Well, he's sitting right next to me, so this is a little embarrassing, but every time I heard Emmrich in my cans. Just, woooo. I might be on-board with all of the fans out there for Emmrich. If you'll have me, if you'll have me.

[?]: Thank you.

Panel: Thank you.

Audience member: So, the first game I played was Inquisition, and, this is not a knock, but, because, my reference would be Mass Effect, and I love that series. For Mass Effect 1 to Mass Effect 3, it seems the games was more streamlined. I'm getting the same feel from Inquisition to this one. Does that, what you can expect from gameplay-wise?

John: I mean, I don't think there's any, I don't think it's streamlined, it's. Again, each Dragon Age has been fundamentally different in its gameplay. We've tried things, seeing what works, seeing what didn't. In the case of The Veilguard, just like the other games, you wanna keep that tactical, strategic complexity and make that the centerpiece. And each one we focused on a little bit differently. In the case of this one, I think our skills in particular are some of the best we've done. There's some exciting combinations you do there, so.

Audience member: Thank you so much.

John: No worries.

[?]: Okay. There we are, okay.

Audience member: I was wondering what your favorite aspect was of the character you voiced?

Lucy: Ali, should we start with you this time?

Ali: I mean, so many layers, man, we're talking BioWare characters here! I think some of my favorite things about Lace Harding are the little things. Like, she loves her mom, you know, she loves to write letters home, she's always talking about her mama's soup and stuff like that. I love that relationship. She likes plants, and raising plants, which is inspirational, since I kill them. But just the texture they add to the characters, that's, in general, but for me, yeah, it's those little things that really kinda give me a bunch of stuff to work with in my brain, for bringing these characters to life.

Zach: I love the fact that Lucanis is a good cook. I just imagine him finishing a job and then going home, and, you know, cooking him a meal to kind've calm himself down, but with like the same knife he just used to murder somebody. He cleaned it of course, he cleaned it, but at the same time [...] -

Ali: I recommend my mama's soup.

Jessica: I really enjoyed, we sort've worked to bring, like, a noir element to Neve, and her being a private investigator, and so I really enjoyed leaning into that. And then she's just so dry, you know, like, things really mean a lot to her, but she's not necessarily gonna let you know that, you know what I mean? You have to kind've, like, discover that underneath. And, so I, I related to that, and I love that about her.

Ali: I was gonna say, 'I don't know anyone like that'.

Nick: I loved the, the fact that the writers just took Emmrich and explored the whole idea of death. The whole idea of necromancing, and, I really responded to that, I got into that, and bringing kindness into it, I know that sounds crazy, but it's to not have this idea that death is vulgar or kind've to be, something to be terrified about, but something to actually engage with on so many levels. I just thought the fact that the writers had the courage to do that in a game like this, I thought, it just blew my mind.

[?]: Thank you for the question.

Lucy: I think we have time for a couple more quick ones.

Audience member: Hi, okay, so first of all. Okay, hi, again. So, first of all, my dad just died, so [...]

[?]: Oh, I'm sorry.

Audience member: [...] Thank you. [...] So, [...] what you said about your take on Emmrich, really, really, I appreciated that. So, my question, to, I guess, John, would be, so, lore-wise, mechanically, not like story-telling-wise for the lore, how do you decide what lore goes in what games? Like, just, okay, so like, what decides what goes in Dragon Age 3, what goes in Dragon Age 4, what goes in Dragon Age 90-bajillion? Not from like a story perspective, right, but from, like a, what do we want to do, right?

John: Mhm. I mean it really does come down to, each one, as we build, it's, it's hard to say it as [...] something that we come [...], it's like, 'okay, we're gonna do it this way, this way, this way', mechanically, but, we kind've, we always know the base lore of the franchise, of the IP, and as we start to build the story, we start to see these opportunities to again, [...] speaking mechanically, bring certain elements in that make the most sense with the characters we're building and the story we're telling. We try not to overwhelm by saying a bunch, having a bunch of lore included that's not necessarily critical to the understanding of the story, but we always wanna expand the universe, and expand the IP, so.

Audience member: Thank you.

John: You're welcome.

Ali: And, can we please have a Dragon Age 90-bajillion?

John: I'd like that.

Ali[?]: That'd be amazing.

Audience member: Hi, I'm Matt. I've been a fan of Dragon Age since, actually, The Stolen Throne book, before I even knew there was like a game. And my question was, for the voice actors, one of my favorite things is the party banter. Was there any, like, lines of party banter that you recorded that you can say that just made you just, like, laugh, 'cause some of the party banter is pretty hilarious. Like, is there a certain thing that just sticks in your mind, whether you can say what it is, or just who it was with, like, so I can be on the lookout for it?

Ashley: I have one, it's so not appropriate. Do I have permission to say it?

Ali: That's what I was gonna say.

Zach: Yeah, say it.

Ashley: Listen for "hand-to-bone combat".

Lucy: I mean, do we end it there?

Ali[?]: And, scene.

Lucy: Well thank you so much everyone for coming to the panel. Thank you [...] Fall 2024.

[panel ends]

--

[source: DA:TV ‘Meet The Companions’ panel @ SDCC. BioWare have said that they are going to share the recording of the panel at a later date].

[☕ found this post or blog interesting or useful? my ko-fi is here if you feel inclined. thank you 🙏]

[itsharleystuff]

↳ I. 𝘞𝘖𝘙𝘓𝘋 𝘊𝘓𝘈𝘚𝘚 𝘚𝘐𝘕𝘕𝘌𝘙

Gif not mine! | Read part two here.

— 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: dbf!Joel Miller x afab!fem reader (no outbreak au)

— 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.4k

— 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: After two years of absence and finally graduating college, it’s time you go back to Texas; to come home with your dad. But the prospect of facing the Joel Miller, your dad’s best friend and your secret crush, has your mind scattered.

— 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 18+ content (minors dni!), smoking, alcohol consumption, age gap (reader is twenty four, Joel is late forties), oral sex (f! receiving), fingering, spitting, mentions of masturbation, pet-names (sweetheart, darling), moral conflict, semi-public sex, slight dirty talk, pussy-drunk Joel, no use of y/n. I think that’s it, let me know if I missed something:)

— a/n: I honestly have tons of ideas for this particular universe, so I might make more parts if y’all like it<3 btw, reader is a fashion designer in this. Thought it might be important to mention, lol.

✎﹏﹏﹏﹏

You had never met him before. Not in person, at the very least.

Up until a while ago, you'd only seen him in the pictures your dad kept hanging around the house. And he had plenty of those: both of them in college, a road-trip with other friends or even after a hunt. Of course, you'd heard a lot about him too, but whenever you visited Texas your dad would dedicate his whole days to you exclusively. No time to visit his best friend-slash-neighbor, despite all the opportunities presented.

So the first time you ever saw him face to face was two years ago, in a Fourth of July barbecue he hosted.

Joel Miller.

Joel mother-fucking Miller.

Tall, broad, rugged looking, moody and with a seemingly stern exterior. An absolute dilf.

You always found him rather appealing— nothing but a silly little thought from whenever you would stare at the photographs. But meeting him personally was a whole eye-opening experience, like getting glasses after discovering you’ve had astigmatism your entire life.

"He liked you, y'know?" your dad had told you the next day. "Joel isn't usually that nice."

"Maybe it's because I'm your daughter," you joked. "I bet that helped with my impression."

"No," said him, laughing and shaking his head, "it was something else."

You didn't interrogate him on the matter. Whatever it was, you sure were glad to be in his grace.

That summer you saw a lot of him— specially since it was the longest you had spent in Austin ever since your mom passed away. You were twenty two at the time, right in the middle of your college studies. But the amazing thing about Joel was that he never made you feel patronized, neither did he treat you like you had to fit in the 'best friend's daughter' box. He was nice and made you feel comfortable in all ways possible.

Frankly, deep down you wanted him to be an asshole. If that were the case, you could've had the perfect excuse to push him away. Instead, your crush simply grew stronger.

Because, fucking hell, the man was hot in a striking, yet brooding manner. Joel Miller was attractive in the way a man is supposed to be attractive. Which was quite a contrast compared to the boys that usually neared you, who had no sense of themselves and were always fooling around with no idea what they were doing.

It was so bad that even now, after two years without seeing him —or your dad, for that matter— you feel anxious and eager at the thought of a reunion.

You're now officially graduated, and after a lifetime of traveling the states to visit both your parents, added to four years of college in New York, it's finally time to settle down for a while. To move in with your dad and make up for the lost time.

"Are you really going to stay in Texas?" Sophie, your best friend, asked through the phone speaker. "After all these years in the big city?"

"Yeah, I ought to stay with him. After all, we're the only family we've got," you replied, staring out the window of the cab. "When I told him I was coming he got so excited, you should've heard him. He said he'd throw me a homecoming party, can you believe that? Who's even going to attend?"

You hear her giggle on the other side. "What about that Mr. Miller you always brag so much about?"

"What about him?" you wondered with half strained voice.

"Oh, don't play coy, honey," she mocks. "We both know how much you want him to give you a sweet old Texan welcome."

"I have no idea what that is," you respond, smiling.

"I just made it up. No idea what they do in the south. I'm from Brooklyn." Of course she made it up. "But I meant it's pretty obvious how much you want his head between your legs..."

"Okay, yeah- I get it." You interrupt, starting to see familiar houses from your dad's neighborhood. "You're right. But he's... Righteous. Apparently."

"Sweetie, let's be honest," Sophie talks softly, "no man is righteous. Just show them a bit of skin and they'll be wrapped around your finger forever."

"I'm not sure I-"

"Try it. And keep me updated," she mumbles hastily. "I've got to go now. I have an appointment with the Ralph Lauren executives in ten minutes."

"Treat them nicely, Sophie. Don't waste my recommendation letter," the girl laughs.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm serious about Miller, though. Be sure to wear something low-cut. Bye, bye!"

She hangs up right when you're outside the house; the one you knew so well and at the same time felt so unknown. The one where you spend each summer and occasional holiday in. Your childhood home. Oddly enough, the door is open but you can't see your dad anywhere near. You hoped he'd be around to help you with the luggage, though it didn't seem like it.

"Dad?" You call for him from the entrance, carrying both heavy suitcases. "Anyone here?!"

The faint noise of footsteps is barely audible before you see him leaning against the kitchen door, arms crossed over his sturdy chest.

Breathtaking.

"M'not your old man but pretty sure I can help you with that," he says with that characteristic Texan drawl of his, gesturing towards your cases.

"But if it isn't Joel Miller in the flesh," he tilts his head with a faint smile, approaching your side. "You haven't aged a day since I last saw you."

It was true. Perhaps his skin looked a bit more tan, his hair somewhat longer and curlier, his beard starting to gray. But everything else remained the same. He smelled just like you remembered —fresh soap and musky cologne—, and still held onto the same mode choices: flannels, boots and dark jeans.

"Quite the opposite to ya," he says, taking both your suitcases from your hands. "I like your new hair."

"Are you implying I look old?" Joel grins smudgily.

"None of that, darlin'. I'd say mature." His words manage to make your pulse raise. "Shall I take this upstairs?"

"Yeah, I- I'll walk you to my room," he chuckles as he steps on the stairs. "What?"

The man shakes his head as he makes his way to the second floor, followed closely by you. Nothing about this house seemed different. Nevertheless, you felt different.

"Nothing. S'just..." he takes a deep breath, but changes the subject quickly. "Your dad went to the store to get some beers. He'll be back any second."

You nod, opening the door to your dorm. It was exactly the same as it was two years ago, simply tidier and with a poster that read 'welcome home and happy graduation' in messy, colorful handwriting over your bed.

"He made that himself. Though, I've gotta say, I'm glad he didn't pursue an artistic career." You both laugh at the comment.

"A for effort." Joel sets your luggage next to the doorframe, being monitored by your keen eye. "Will I see you tonight? I know you're not a big fan of social gatherings."

"Your dad'll kill me if I'm not. He's got me here since ten o'clock to help him out." You look up at him, feeling vaguely nostalgic when watching your surroundings. "But I'm also hoping we'll catch up. I'd like to hear all about your adventures in the big city, aight?"

"Oh, I'm not sure you'd like that," you retort. "I'm afraid you'll see a side of me you might disapprove of."

Joel's brows shot up in a cocky expression. "And here we were all thinking you were such a nice girl. Forget 'bout me, sweetheart. Your old man would drop dead if he gets the news."

You can't hold back the smirk that spreads across your face as you look him dead in the eye. Truth be told, you had wished for him to change, in any sort of way. Maybe if he had gotten a couple more wrinkles or grey hairs you'd be able to not find him attractive anymore. But age suited Joel. Maybe if he stopped being so warm to you, so kind, it might be able to fade away.

'Righteous', you'd called him.

But he isn't so much. No man ever is.

In your last visit you weren't bold enough with him, but each time you'd say something slightly suspicious, every occasional brush or brief skin to skin contact during a shared moment, had an effect on him. He reacted to you, even if he thought you wouldn't know. Sure, he was well restrained and you probably wouldn't have noticed if you weren't actually looking for any signs. That didn’t change the facts, anyway.

"I've never really been much of a nice girl, to be honest," you retaliate, dragging the words. "But I bet you can keep a secret, can't you?"

Something in your voice causes him to unconsciously stop breathing. His brows knit together and it takes him a second to regain composure. However, he doesn't get to say a thing, your dad's voice suddenly floating from the floor beneath.

With your blood rushing, you practically flee downstairs, seeing his face change completely at the sight of his beloved daughter.

"You're here early, what the heck?" The man mumbles with a kindhearted smile, embracing you in a tight hug.

"Figured I might surprise you." The boxes of beer he bought were quickly discarded when he saw you. "So, are you surprised?"

"Very. But I was supposed to pick you up at the airport. Did you take a cab?"

"Don't worry about that," you reassure with a gesture. "It was included in the airport bill."

"Oh, man..." your dad turns to see his friend, "you leavin' already?"

"I have to pick up Sarah," he explains, peeking at his watch. "She had soccer practice today."

"Can I expect to see her later, too?"

Joel nods at your question, faintly beaming. "F'course. She loves you."

⩇⩇:⩇⩇✧˖°

Shortly after Miller's departure your dad sent you off to bed, arguing that you were probably tired. And even if you wanted to stay and chat with him for a while, you had to admit he wasn't mistaken. Either way, you still had the rest of the day —and plenty more ahead— to do that. Besides, he still needed to sort some things out before the party.

So, without unpacking or undoing your bed, you slept for hours, dreaming about how your new life was going to be.

(...)

When you finally woke up, night had already fallen. Your dad mustn't have wanted to wake you, but it made you feel in a rush to get ready. You took a cold shower and kept your makeup neutral in order to be quick. Furthermore, Sophie's advice to wear something low-cut was taken under consideration.

Judging by the noise coming from the backyard, you guessed the guests had already started to arrive. You heard talking and music, aside from smelling the hamburgers your dad was preparing. There were kids running around and a couple of people chatting in the living room when you entered, setting all eyes on you.

You knew most of them, neighbors and friends of your dad's. They immediately monopolized your attention, asking questions regarding your career life, reasons why you chose your major and saying how much your dad loved and missed you. It wasn't bad, you liked the courtesy and praise; nonetheless, in the back of your mind you were solely expecting the Millers' arrival.

After a while, you excuse yourself and decide to join your dad outside, stepping onto the fresh air.

"How's everything here?" you ask friendly. "Need any help?"

He was surrounded by some other of his pals, all of whom you'd met in your last visit, except for one– still, you couldn't help but think that he had a familiar air.

"We're alright, honey." You greet them all with a smile as your dad hooks an arm over your shoulders, offering a beer that you decided to decline.

"My niece was right," said the man you didn't know. "You're quite beautiful." He spoke subtly and on the right lines, giving you a affectionate smile. 

"Ah- I don't believe you've met Tommy," your dad chimed in. "He's Joel's younger brother."

"Oh, yeah..." you remembered, "he mentioned you last time I came. It's nice to finally meet you."

Now that you saw him up-close, he did resemble his brother in a certain way. There was something very emblematic that all the Millers had, a sparkle in their eyes that you picked-up on Sarah, but that enchanted you in—

"Speak of the devil..." your head jerked to the side, watching as your most expected guests come to join you.

"My goodness!" you speak in surprise, sharing a hug with Joel's daughter. "You've grown so much in the last two years... You're even taller than me now and I'm wearing heels." The girl giggles, charming as always. "Didn't you just turn seventeen?"

"A month ago," she answers. "But let's not talk about that, it makes dad feel old."

"Joel?" You look behind her, locking glances with him. "But he's in his prime!" he rolls his eyes sardonically.

"Come on, sunshine," Tommy says, "you know it's not polite to make fun of the elderly."

They laugh and you can vaguely hear your dad scolding him, but don't really pay attention to it as they go back to their conversation. In the corner of your eye, you catch a glimpse of his smile.

He looked handsome. To you, he always did. Tonight, however, he decided to change the flannels for an olive button up shirt and a black leather jacket. His curls seemed carefully styled and he smelled of sandalwood.

"By the way," you address Sarah, "I brought you something from New York. It's one of my designs..."

"Seriously?" Her whole face lit up at your words. "You know how much I love your work!"

"Yeah, thought you might like it. But I'll give it tomorrow. I haven't unpacked and my things are real a mess."

"That reminds me." The girl turns to Joel. "Did you bring it?" he nods and takes a small box from the pocket of his jacket, handing it to her.

"What's that?" you question out of curiosity.

"I got you a lil' present," Sarah answered.

"You, did what?" Joel countered with a reproachful tone.

"I mean- I chose a present..." the man clears his throat and she rolls her eyes. "We chose a present, which he payed for. Buuut, it was my idea so-"

His dad snorts and shakes his head, turning to chat with the rest of the men. The younger one drags you away to have some privacy, taking a solitary spot under the big apple tree. During your conversation, you discuss the details of your so called 'highlife' and open the tiny box they gifted, finding a shiny ring sitting on the bottom.

"Do you like it?" You grin and nod in response, deciding to put it on in that same instant. "Dad noticed you like wearing lots of rings.”

Joel noticed.

"I love it," you remark. "Thank you. Both."

Your eyes drift to the crowd gathered around the grill, men laughing and sharing beers. The surprising part was that when you finally found your target, he was already staring at you. If he was expecting you to notice or not, there was no sign. But the older one held your lingering glance and everything else seemed to fade away, suddenly becoming white noise in the background. There was a challenging fire behind his brown orbs, kind of like he was saying 'I know what you're doing and I can do it too'.

"So," you turn back to Sarah with a strange, thrilling sensation in the pit of your stomach, "what's up with you? How's high school?"

"Boring. You know the drill."

"And the boys?" she almost looks flustered at the question.

"Complicated. Bet you know all ‘bout that." Your brows furrow slightly.

"What gave you that idea?"

"Just an impression," her fingers fidget nervously.

You shrug, deciding to change the subject. "You're graduating soon... Have you decided on any universities yet?"

"Not quite," she sighs. "I'm worried about my dad, really. I don't want him to feel alone if I move out."

A sly smile parts your lips. "He won't be. There's my dad, your uncle and... Me. I'll make him a Tinder profile. He'll be fine."

Sarah chuckles and shakes her head. "He talks about you, y'know?"

"What, Joel?" you ask in a sarcastic tone, cocking an eyebrow at her. "Hard to believe."

"It's true! I think he admires you, in a way..."

With a hand gesture, you stop her. "Are we talking about the same man here?"

"Ask him. He might deny it, but it's often your name is brought up in conversations," she unfolds. "When you got that internship in Ralph Lauren, the articles you've written, magazines you've appeared in..."

"It sounds extremely rare for someone like your dad would be interested in the fashion industry. Even if it's just for me, cause I'm certain my own dad is the one forcing all this information onto him."

"Maybe," Sarah agrees. "Whatever it may be, I'm sure he'll be alright if you're around. At least happy, I think."

⩇⩇:⩇⩇✧˖°

The kitchen was a good shelter from all the gossip and noisy kids that turned out to be overwhelming after some time. No one came in there unless they needed to; and as of now they all seemed more concerned with other sorts of business. Besides, it was pretty late and most people had already headed home.

A bottle of wine was opened and poured into a glass, accompanied by a Marlboro cigarette from the depths of your purse, enjoying them while watching the night sky through the window. All your mind could think about was him and his odd behavior: Joel picking up on details, Joel talking about you with Sarah. Him. Just him.

"Am I interrupting somethin'?" you shake your head without looking back, recognizing his voice.

He walks over to you silently. The man is somehow very silent for someone so big, to the point where you didn't even listen when he opened the door. He leans against the counter, his body so close to yours that you can feel his warmth even if you're not seeing him.

"Want some?" you ask, raising your half-empty glass of red liquid and whipping your body to face him, standing shoulder to shoulder, closing the curtain in the meantime.

"Thanks," he mutters, showing his can of beer, “m'not that fancy." You titter, taking a short drag from the dart. "I'll have one of those, if you can spare."

With the fag between your teeth, you take the pack of smokes from your bag and hand it to him, shooting an inquiry expression.

"What?" he asks with an arrogant beam.

"Nothing..." your voice comes out weird from holding back laughter as you take the lighter in your fist. "I just didn't know you smoked."

He takes one to his lips, keeping close eye contact with you all the while. The action sends a rush of excitement throughout your whole body as you duck forward to burn the unlit end, staring back at him with hooded eyes.

"I rarely do," he admits, setting the package aside.

If he wasn't hot enough already, the practiced mannerisms he had when smoking simply added to his sultriness.

"Why you hiding?" you wonder, ashing the cigarette over the sink.

"Not hidin'. Just sent Sarah home, but I wanted to catch you before leavin'."

It didn't surprise you, they lived across the street and, after all, he did say he wanted to talk.

"Did I mention how handsome you look today?" He sneers shortly.

"Well, my daughter was very clear 'bout not wanting me to wear flannels around a fashion designer." Joel takes a sip from his drink, holding the cig between his fingers.

"She gives me too much credit," you say, a bit embarrassed.

"You deserve it," the man replies grimly. "And you look absolutely beautiful, too. One of yours?"

His eyes briefly set on your chest, for such a short second that you actually believed you had probably imagined it. The dress you chose for the occasion was one of your first designs; pearl colored, cinched from the waist above and slightly loose over your thighs.

"Yes," you gulp, diverting your gaze to the glass on your hand. "So how's everything 'round here?" Joel shrugs his shoulders with indifference. 

"'S alright. Same as always," he meditates on it. "Boring without you to keep us entertained."

You utter a mocking snort. "Do my silly little experiences really entertain you?"

The older one tilts his head to blow some smoke. "You always talk so freely about your dreams and the goals you've accomplished. And your dad's enthusiasm is contagious, I might say." He licks his bottom lip, thinking. "I don't know... I'm glad someone close is doing all 'at. Feels like you ain't afraid of anything."

His words put a bright smile on your face. "Life's a risk, isn't it? Better be bold if you want to end up somewhere."

He huffs a laugh, nodding in agreement. A comfortable silence veils between you as you enjoy the alcohol and cigarettes. It was always nice to hang out with him like this.

"By the way, how are you holding up?" the question clasps his curiosity. "Parenting a teenager can be quite difficult, I've heard."

"Jesus," he grunts, "it's driving me insane. Not her per say, but the whole 'boy talk' 's just too much."

"I bet," you chortle, "although, I wouldn't worry too much. It's just a phase." 

"Yeah?" Joel scoffs. "You gon' tell me you ain't got tons of guys chasing around ya' anymore?"

"Oh, they're there," your tone matches his energy. "All these old ladies kept trying to introduce me to their sons a couple hours ago. Nevertheless, I gotta say..." He leaves the empty can on the bar across him. "Boys make me sick."

His eyes widen in surprise, but the rest of his face remained in composure. "How so?"

The atmosphere swiftly changes, a kind of heated tension rising to the top, palpable in your fingertips and waving in his chest.

"I've had my fair share of them," you explain playfully. "Guys my age never know what they want or what they're doing. I've decided to change my focus to men, instead."

He knows what you're up to. You can tell he does.

The question is: will he take the bait?

"Meaning?" Joel's lips curve around the orange filter in a smug smirk. You jerk your head to the right, setting the glass of wine aside.

"I'm not sure..." he laughs dryly at your hesitation.

"I think you are, sweetheart."

The abiding silence that followed that statement was nothing but electrifying. Clouds of burning tobacco linger around as you share an intense gaze, creating a solemn, intriguing ambience.

"Well, how am I supposed to tell you, out of all people, that I'm looking to get attended by an older man?" you rag. "Don't you think it's inappropriate?"

"Mhm," his grin is still visible under the dim, warm lights in the kitchen, "clever girl. I see what you're tryin' to do."

"I don't know what you mean," you murmur, scowling and intending to sound clueless.

He doesn't buy it.

"No-uh. You're many things, darlin', but dumb isn't one." He leans forward, his face barely inches away from yours, eyes scanning your features. Eventually, he decides to keep playing your little game. "Why's that, anyway?"

"See, Joel," you blow some smoke right under his nose, "boys I've been with always take. Everything's gotta be about themselves. I've never been the type to believe in relationships, but if they're gonna suck at that too, the least they could do is make you cum, not leave you drier than a fucking desert." Your words daze his mind and he finds himself pending for something that he wasn't supposed to. "Shit- I'm sorry... I shouldn't talk like this."

"Damn right you shouldn't," he rasps out, "what would your dad think if he heard you?"

Joel Miller never considered himself a weak man. Not once in his life. It's not who he is.

But right now, under your curious, passionate gape, he's slowly crumbling.

"Good thing you aren't my dad, then."

His heart is pounding in expectation and confusion. He keeps thinking 'this can't be happening'. He tries to convince himself that it's all in his mind, like he did last time you were in Austin. But you bat your pretty eyelashes at him an it feels like you're begging to be taken away.

"Sweetheart, I don't think you know what you're asking for," he talks strictly, like you wouldn't actually understand. "Say this things to the wrong person and they might take advantage of you."

You laugh under your breath. "Are you the wrong person?"

He remains silent for a couple seconds, contemplating your question, meditating this whole parade in order to keep his head cold and ignoring the increasing heat that soared all around.

"M'not sure," he huffs.

It's true. He doesn't know anymore.

Your cig has burned out.

"I think you are, Mr. Miller."

Oh, such a clever girl indeed.

Suspense is killing him, like he's walking on the edge of a blade. Your closeness is intoxicating, the smell of your perfume gets him dizzy and his skin burned there where your limbs brushed against each other's. His lungs felt like crushing under the weight of anticipation.

"Quit beating around the bush," he downright demands. "Tell me what you want."

Honesty is a virtue; one you didn't lack with him.

"You," his chest puffs with a shaky breath. "Ever since we first met, you've been the only man on my mind."

Dangerous. This whole situation is dangerous.

But Joel would be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. That was the worst part of it.

For little more than a decade he had been perfectly content with his singleness; the sole thought of going on a date being absolutely terrifying. His best friend did try to set him up with a couple of his female acquaintances multiple times; yet he declined or merely accepted out of sympathy, never taking things further than a one night stand. Joel never expected that the one woman that would grasp his attention would be you.

He had never been into younger girls, at least not that young. But there was something enchanting about you. Whether it was your charming smile, your cunning eyes or your confident, determined nature that made all heads turn in your direction when you walked into a place.

Something about you bewitched him.

Perhaps it was none of that and he was simply depraved. Perhaps it was all of that and more.

For all he knew, you could've put a spell on him. Since your last visit, you had been on his mind like a mist that fogged his senses. He felt torn apart by his morals and desires, trying his best to get rid of the ghost of you.

That was until your dad told him you were coming back to stay for an undefined amount of time. What kind of sick game was fate playing with him?

"You tryin' to get me killed?" he locks a snarl behind his teeth.

His cigarette has burned out too.

"I know I'm asking for much," you say, "that I put you in a difficult position. With my dad and all 'at." Swallowing hard, you muster enough courage to raise a hand to his jacket, just laying your palm flat there. He allows it. "So I understand if you say no. You can decline and we’ll just act like nothing happened."

If Joel were a better man, he would've.

He definitely should have.

"It's okay. I can always call the next older lad on my hotline," you joke. "Your brother Tommy... I think he'll be interested."

He'd be damned.

No. Joel was just a man, and like every other, he could only take so much.

Quicker than you'd expect, his hand catches your wrist and moves your arm away from his body, the other raising your head up with two fingers under your chin. His face is so close to yours that his breath tickles your skin.

"Is that so?" his voice drops an octave. "You disappoint me, sweetheart."

Your legs quiver, feeling suddenly weak on the knees and hot on your lower abdomen. "How?"

His thumb sweeps over your bottom lip, staring down at you as if he had you wrapped around his finger. Truth be told, he really did.

"Thought there was a bit more fight in ya'," he whispers, letting go of your hand and laying his palm flat on your hip. "I haven't yet given my answer and you're already thinking of fucking my brother?"

You lick your lips nervously, glancing at his own and then back at his eyes. Your breathing pattern is completely altered and the ache between your legs starts to grow.

"Or was that just to tease me?" he asks with a grin.

"I don't know..." your hands clench in fists, wanting to touch him but wallowing in this new power dynamic. "Maybe."

"That's rather vague, darling." He takes a step forward, eradicating the distance that separated your bodies. "I'll ask again..." his fingers curl around your throat, not applying pressure but merely holding you in place. "What do you want?"

It's too late to look back now. Though you wouldn't think of it. "I want you to fuck me, Joel."

Music to his ears.

He doesn't respond, eyes boring into yours intently. The unholy words that you spoke scatter his brain and all he wants to do is accept. But he wouldn't indulge so easily. If you wanted to play games, he'd teach you how to play better.

You tilt your head upwards, searching for his mouth with limited mobility. Your eyes briefly close at the feeling of your lips barely brushing against his own, waiting for him to kiss you. Except he does not, simply caressing the soft flesh teasingly.

Joel's body is flushed against yours, keeping you caged between the counter and him. The hand that rested on your hip gradually travels to your ass, splaying his fingers over your covered butt and giving a firm squeeze that makes you squeal. Every breath he takes is the very air you breathe. The proximity and his scent are slowly —but surely— making you lose your sanity.

"Such a pretty girl," he mutters hoarsely, "with such filthy thoughts." You look at him through heavy lids, gaining enough courage to move your hands to his broad chest. "What am I gonna do with you?"

"Please, just- kiss me." The plea is so desperate and pathetic that it doesn't even sound like you.

"Can't do," he says at last. "If you want to be treated like a slut, you'll get treated like one. Sluts don't get kissed." You feel yourself get wet with his attitude, trying to clench your thighs together in order to create some friction. "I can't give you what you want, sweetheart. Not tonight, at least."

His lips move to your jawline, tracing open-mouthed kisses along your bare neck and collarbones that have you panting in seconds, his facial hair scratching your skin deliciously before coming back up again.

"But don't worry, angel," he pours into the shell of your ear, "I'll make sure you cum, since you want it so bad."

"Fuck, Joel-" you stutter when he abruptly spins your body around, his growing bulge grinding against your lower back.

His face nuzzles on the crook of your neck as his hand roams over your thigh, leisurely making its way beneath your dress. You feel his teeth lightly scraping your flesh, the hardness of his crotch poking your ass and your own arousal pooling in your panties.

"Jesus..." he groans when his fingers reach the dampness between your legs. "I've barely touched you and you're already soaked."

"I meant it when-" your sentence gets muffled by a strangled moan that escapes your lips, "when I said I've been wanting you for so long."

His body vibrates with a laugh, ruffling your hair with his breath. He starts rubbing small circles on your clit, making your whole body shiver and squirm while he pushes the fabric aside, gathering your slick with his index and spreading it all the way back to your bud, repeating his actions until your arousal covered his knuckles.

"Wanna know a lil' secret?" his voice comes out soothing and husky as he eases two digits inside you, stretching you out in a way that makes both of you groan. "I felt the same."

His fingers are thicker, bigger and rougher than yours, adding to a new, unlocked satisfaction you had not yet experienced.

Joel took his time to explore the spots that provided more pleasure, that had your hips chasing him and biting your lip to refrain from making noise. His other hand gropes your breast, caressing your delicate nipple over the thin fabric, easily done due to the lack of a bra. He keeps altering his ministrations, collecting the wetness from your core and bringing it up to your bundle of nerves, prior to sliding into your cunt again. All that can be heard in the kitchen are the squelching, utterly pornographic sounds of your pussy and your pitiful whines, inaudible to everyone but him.

"You like this, sweetheart?" he hums, feeling your sticky arousal drip down your thighs, rejoicing in your responsiveness to him. "Being fingered by a man twice your age while your dad's just a few steps away?"

You squeeze his thick fingers, picturing just how big his cock must be just from the boner pressing your back. "Y-yes..."

He simply loves the way he's got you so needy, coming undone with so little. You were easy to please, so he wondered how awful your past lovers must've been if they couldn't get you wet. A primal instinct surges on Joel, wanting to erase all of them from your mind, as he wanted to be the only man you ever think about if you're having an orgasm.

"That's my girl," he coos, thrusting his fingers at a nice pace, curling them upwards to hit that soft spot that made your knees tremble.

You hold onto the counter for dear life, throwing your head back and laying it on his chest. He sighs every time your cunt tightens around his digits, mesmerized by your enticing cries and whimpers that had him painfully hard in his jeans. The sensation is overwhelming, adrenaline filling both of you at the prospect of getting caught.

A burning sensation builds on your lower belly, tiny beads of sweat rolling down your temple at the incoming crescendo. His thumb kneads over your clit with the right amount of pressure and your body gives in to him, all tension melting away as your muscles relax.

"Just like that, darling." His deep voice reverberates through you, holding you up by the grip on your waist. "Take what I give you."

"Joel, Joel, Joel-" he chuckles once again at your delirious state, biting down the sensitive skin on your neck as he helps you carry out your high.

He pulls his fingers out and you mewl in complaint, mouth slightly agape. You can't see his face but you watch as he takes both his sticky fingers to his mouth, your chest rising and falling while trying to regain composure. He licks them clean, savoring your sweet taste and feeling his cock twitch from the mere idea of his tongue exploring your folds, taking that same flavor straight from the source.

"I'm not done with you," he growls, swirling your body around.

He's fucked up now. He has found his own, favorite drug between your thighs and can’t seem to stop himself from getting it. He had a small taste and now craved for more like he was a famished man.

"Can I get a kiss now?" Joel finds your insistence amusing.

Those eyes of yours were driving him insane, staring at him wildly, sparkling with an etching desire. Your lips were plumped and glossy, cheeks flushed red and hands fisting his shirt. Seeing this side of you was like displaying one of his darkest fantasies, the kind that would randomly appear in his dreams and had him waking up guilty and needy.

"No," he grumbles, cupping your face in his hand and forcing you to glance up at him. "Open up."

You obligue without hesitation, parting your lips shamelessly— which further spurs him on—. Almost instinctively, you already know what he's going to do, catching that inquiring look in his darkened eyes. With a light tap to his chest, you give him the green light and he spits right into your mouth. You don't think about it twice; in fact, you can't even process what you're actually doing, unconsciously swallowing down while keeping eye contact.

"Good girl," he purrs, caressing the side of your face with gentle stokes of his thumb.

His voice and praise send you to oblivion, managing to give you goosebumps. But Joel won't allow you to catch a break, glueing his lips to the hollow of your throat and making his way down, down, down, until he's kneeling before you, feeling the way you tense and shake for him. He grips your body strongly, the pads of his thumbs dipping on your hipbones as he rests his forehead on your lower abdomen, taking a deep breath in. Your hands run through his curls, tenderly grazing his scalp with your nails. 

The man feels as if he's wasted; your scent, all around him, on him, intoxicating every fiber on his body. He'd be haunted by it, by you, in the upcoming days.

He reaches beneath the hem of your dress, fingers skating along the band of your panties and tugging them down at a tortuous pace, meanwhile his eyes pierce your soul. Joel lets the drenched underwear pool at your ankles and drags the thin, satiny fabric all the way up to your tummy, inhaling sharply at the sight of your sticky slick covering your inner thighs.

"Fuck..." he touches you like you're sacred, like he was granted permission to do so but couldn't fully believe it. "Jesus Christ, you're beautiful," he mumbles when he coaxes your legs apart.

You blush at the comment, growing partially embarrassed. A shadow of pure lust covers his gaze as he stares at your exposed, wet cunt. He basks in the view of your damp skin and swollen clit, feeling his mouth water and his pants strain.

"Joel-"

"Forgive me, darlin'. Been a while since I..." he clears his throat, trying to regain hold of himself, "since I went down on a woman."

Your fingers tangle on his locks and you give him a reassuring smile. "You don't have to-"

"But I want to," Joel blurts out. "I need to taste you, sweetheart. Would you allow me to?"

Did he even need to ask?

"Yes- god. Please..."

It's all he had to hear. He leaves small kisses on your swollen lips, taking pleasure in your silent gasps as his mouth inched closer to your clit. Your hips buck against his face when his tongue finally landed on that sensitive bundle of nerves, making you moan a bit louder.

"Fucking hell," you babble, gripping his hair tighter.

He groans, his tongue flattening above your delicate bud and sucking on it. Joel can see in your face how hard you're trying to refrain from making any noise, your brows slightly furrowed and mouth partially open as you throw your head back. His chest swells with pride, knowing he's the one making you feel this good.

Then you have to hold yourself up when he suddenly hooks one hand around your calf and lifts your leg, placing it over his shoulder to keep you open for him. His face buries between your thighs, tongue sliding across your wet folds and savoring your arousal mixed with your previous release. He uninhibitedly whimpers, lapping up the slick that kept pouring out of you, devouring your pussy like he had never had anything as good.

The man can't take it anymore, he's reached his limit. One of his hands snake down to fumble at his belt, as he sloppily palms his bulge through the briefs, trying to get some relief. He's drunk, feral, when he eats you out most earnestly, finding your weak spots rather quickly— the ones that made you shiver, that made you shut your eyes from sheer pleasure or grind against his face, but specially the ones that had you tugging harshly at his hair.

"Joel- please, I'm so close..." you cry out lowly, the only thing that kept you standing being his hand on your waist.

His beard makes your skin feel feverish and it's nearly impossible for you to hold back a whine when his nose grazes your clit and right in that instant you're coming hard, nerves buzzing and ears ringing. You feel lightheaded, white spots appearing in front of your eyes as the orgasm rips through you intensely. He drinks you down, licking you clean as if it was a crime not to, and you gasp at the overstimulation.

He helps you steady yourself as he gets back on his feet, hovering above you. His lips were shining with saliva and your own juices, dripping down to his chin. You breathe rapidly, pulse still racing while you look up at him with glassy eyes.

It's right in this moment when Joel knows for certain that he'd do it all again, consequences be damned.

If he was going to hell for what he'd done, then he would gladly do it, knowing that he had seen heaven the moment his tongue was inside you.

"Did I live up to your expectations, sweetheart?"

Instead of replying, your hand shoots to his jaw, the pad of your thumb brushing over his bottom lip. He lets out a shaky exhale and you don't miss the opportunity to finally lean in for a kiss. And despite his previous declines to your wish, Joel happily corresponded. You taste him and yourself when his mouth explores yours in depth, feeling his unsteady heartbeat against your own chest.

It's madness; a blur of wet, messy kisses as your hand coasts down his pants and underneath his briefs. You swallow down his lewd moans when you grasp his throbbing length, a deep groan coming from his throat when you circle the tip with one finger, coating it with his leaking precome. He takes your wrist to prevent you from going any further.

"Enough of that," he grunts, still not pushing your hand away. "I'm too worked up, I don't wanna be coming in my pants like a goddamned teenager."

You respect his decision, drawing your hand back and guiding your fingers to your lips with a cheeky smile. Fucking tease.

"I think it'd be hot," you murmur, dragging the words and leaning next to his ear. "Maybe afterwards I can help you clean up the mess..." you carefully nip at his earlobe, delighting in the way his body jumped and a sigh escaped him. "With my mou-"

"Fuuuck..." the mental image you were describing was not helping his situation. "We- we’ll do that next time.”

And before you can move a muscle, he gives you a soft forehead kiss and rearranges his pants, asking you to say goodbye to your dad in his behalf as he sneaked out. You stand there for a couple of minutes, dumbfounded and completely blown away from your post-orgasm bliss, still processing that all this had actually happened and it was not just another of your sexual fantasies and daydreams.

Joel was in a similar position. In spite of taking a cold shower and fucking his fist in the meantime, tonight's events kept being relived every time he closed his eyes, making him yearn for you all over again. It was a tough night of not much sleeping.

He thinks he might feel guilty in the morning.

Maybe he should. But he honestly doesn't.

Not even when he faces your dad the next day and he tells him how happy he is to have his darling daughter back home.

Nor do you. There's not a hint of guilt in your body when you go to his house in the next few days, solely to spend time with Sarah. No shame in the looks you share, regardless of the little to zero time you could spend together, always being surrounded by other people.

None of that mattered. All the while, the only question that roams your minds is: when will you do it again?

[rh3maji]

Lil rant abt Caine

Caine is just a lil guy, despite it all. From a design standpoint I thought I was gonna absolutely fucking hate looking at him because those chattering teeth toys make my skin crawl- but the art direction really helps make him look more appealing and whimsical than a disembodied pair of talking dentures sounds on paper.

The thing with Caine is I didn't initially like him that much after the pilot. While his interactions with Bubble were quite funny, that one episode left me feeling like he'd just end up being kinda one note or at the very least one note in a way that'd get on my nerves. Then everything changed when Pomni Wake Up Time to Go On an Adventure! attacked

The comedic timing throughout that announcement video was so fucking funny and thanks to his line deliveries and animation/model [?] upgrades- CAINE LOOKED AND SOUNDED SO ADORABLE!!

Legit it wasn't until this came out that I realized I actually could be on board with Caine as a character and it's been uphill from there. Episode 2 was better than the pilot not only comedically and visually but also in terms of showcasing just how actually unsettling Caine can be as an antagonist. Not because he's vengeful or malicious, but because he's so oblivious to how people work. His mind's always buzzing with terrible ideas and he's so so eager about these adventures, but at the end of the day he really really doesn't get the circus crew. Try as he might to include them, keep them engaged [ZOOBLE WAIT!], or even give them what they want [Exit doors] he doesn't realize how traumatic and distressing their current situation can be. The very nature of being trapped in a digital world is bad enough but it's especially rough here bc not only does its god have limited capabilities, you also are very well acquainted with him, and he can't fully understand your pain nor can he truly save you from it. He won't mourn your abstraction. He will not attend your funeral. He will not understand the distress of your arrival, nor the weight of your departure.

This isn't just sad from the pov of the circus gang, it's also very sad for Caine- not because i think he'll ever feel sad about it himself necessarily, but instead because the situation is sad. New members appear over and over, you craft adventures and games and distractions like [i'm assuming] they'd asked you to, but over and over, one by one, they abstract. They stop laughing at your jokes. They don't like you. They want you to leave them alone. It's confusing and maybe even inconvenient.

Where I'm hoping the series takes Caine is that this dissonance between Caine's intentions and the distress of the circus gang gets worse and worse and worse until something's got to give. I'm hoping that maybe at some point a character will try to sit down and talk with him and for it to either sorta get through to him but completely backfire in some form because he misinterprets what the others want from him OR i'd also be down for him to listen, but not understand any of it and proceed as tho nothing happened. I don't want Caine to come around really, it'd be interesting to see how Goose would go about having him come around to being a better host that empathizes more with humans, but personally I do prefer him to keep on keepin' on being this oblivious and eager antagonist.

My favorite Caine lines/line deliveries so far:

"You, my friend, stumbled into an incredible world of wonders, where anything can happen!…e-except for swearing."

"And here we have THE GROUNDS! Drown yourself in the digital lake, or engage in ridery at the digital carnival!"

"What do you think of XDDCC? You're right, terrible, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN!"

"Kaufmo abstracted? Why didn't anybody tell me?"

"Bubble you can't say that"

"-ZOOBLE WAIT!"

"Why are you all just standing there?! The- The Canyon- C-Candy Canyon Kingdom needs you now!" [according to his VA, this was an actual line flub but hoo boy am i glad they use it bc it's hilarious]

"I know you guys love your NPCs, but if I start losing track of who's a human and who's an NPC, who knows...what. could. happen..."

That last line there specifically surprised me the most because up until he said that I was under the impression Caine was linked to every single NPC. I even thought he could see through their eyes if he so chose thanks to his "hundreds of all seeing eyes" line in the pilot. Him saying this here implies lots of things. Has Caine forgotten before? Is someone in the circus secretly an NPC ooooooooh~

"Who knows what could happen..."

Honestly, when Caine first said this I did immediately theorize Jax as being an NPC but now that it's been *checks calendar* three months since I watched episode 2, I don't think this is the case anymore. Jax being an NPC would be...something. Jax not knowing he's an NPC would be interesting [i like it when ppl's realities get shattered], but honestly I think this line was a way to telegraph to the audience that no Caine isn't actually all knowing. He didn't know Gummigoo was coming through that portal until he saw him with his own two eyes. My theory is that Caine is only able to teleport, create, censor, transform, and destroy the world around him, but isn't able to see all of it at once unless he tries to. I think Caine's default state is one where he only knows what he sees directly in front of him/what he himself has left waiting for someone else. And rather than implying someone in the gang is an NPC, I think that line in episode 2 was mainly implying Caine can be tricked, that it's possible to hide something from him, to surprise him even. Though I'm not opposed to an NPC we haven't met trying to join under the guise of being human, it'd potentially create some fun tension assuming the audience was given enough reason to care about them.

Jax is actually my favorite character in tadc, but i couldn't fill an entire post with things to say abt him. Caine seems to be- at least as of right now- the easiest of all the characters to try and wrap my head around. I'll probably have a lot more to say about Jax as he exists in canon as the episodes come out [EPISODE 6 MY BELOVED]

but uhhhh yeah, that's all the things i had to say abt Caine. Pls go watch/listen to the fansong Digital Land bye!

[s0fter-sin]

retired ghoap going on a renovation competition show

ghost takes over the budget and he's ruthless with it; tracking every paint swatch and piece of lumber down to the last cent, haggling for every purchase and making the most of their coupons. soap's in charge of design; he can visualise floor plans better than anyone, seeing the completed spaces in his mind when they’re little more than a steel shell

they run their site like a military base, treating their builders like rookies; expecting them to follow orders but also waiting for them to inevitably mess up so they can fix it

they're an immediate shock to the judges; they fully expected them to have no idea what they're doing, to have no understanding of style or trends, but they didn't sign up just for shits and giggles

they know how to hit a brief and can do physical labour faster than the actual builders. with soap's discerning eye and ghost's practically, they design gorgeous rooms and become a real threat for the prize money. they handle the stress and sleepless nights like it's second nature bc really, it is; a few all nighters painting are nothing compared to being shot at

they also take great joy in messing with the other couples

it takes a while for them to figure out they're even married; they argue like it's going out of fashion, never holding their opinions or frustrations back but it's their love language as much as their banter. you can hear them barking at each other from across the site; callsigns and “It” and “sergeant” thrown around just like in the field

the challenges are where they have the most fun

the day to day? that's work; they're strict, both with themselves and the schedule, never letting anything fall behind or go incompleted. but the challenges? that's play time. they love pushing the brief, toeing the line of the rules purely bc they can

they get to a two part art challenge and ghost's scheming before before the host even opens their mouth. part one? one half of the couple has to design some kind of art piece that will feature in their house. part two? the other person has to gather supplies and tools and make the art

there's a time limit for how long they can take to gather the supplies; once it's up, they can't go back for more and they can only use what they can carry themselves to their station. they're in a warehouse filled with scrap and paint and tools, the choices almost overwhelming

ghost politely interrupts the host to ask for a clarification; absolutely anything in the warehouse can be used so long as they can carry it?

the host confirms; anything under the roof is their's to use

ghost thanks them and steps back in line, standing at attention and waiting for round one to start

ghost volunteers to be the one to do the art, shocking everyone since soap is well known as the artist of the two of them. but soap sees the mischief in his eyes; he knows he's up to something and can't wait to see where it goes

the timer starts and ghost immediately shucks his hoodie and gets to grabbing; stuffing the impromptu bag with everything he recognises from soap's own supplies. there's seconds to go when he bolts for soap, throwing him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry

the other couples are pissed and call it cheating, trying to get them disqualified

ghost just shrugs, soap still over his shoulder, "they said we can use anything we can carry. i followed the brief"

soap just laughs like a mad man

they win the challenge by a landslide

everything's going smoothly, they've won enough room reveals that they’re in a good financial position, they’re ahead in their current room and in a great headspace

then soap gets injured

it's an honest mistake, a part of the roof they thought was stable collapsing and hitting soap

and ghost, always calm and in control, panics

he's on the other side of the site when he hears soap cry out and goes running; shoving past cameramen and builders, screaming to know what happened before he even sees him. he finds soap on the ground, blood dripping from his temple and it's too familiar; a thing he sees in his nightmares

he doesn't know what to do with all his fear so instead, he channels it into anger

he goes off on all his builders, demanding to know how they could be so useless and careless as to miss the unstable roof; screaming at them in a way he hasn't done since he was on active duty, tearing down a rookie for poor trigger management

all the while, his gentle hands tend to soap; checking the wound, if he's concussed, soothing him before he can slip into a flashback of his own. he growls at the cameras, doesn't let the onsite medics anywhere near him; he doesn't know them, doesn't trust them with his johnny. it's only soap's gentle convincing that makes him step back, that forces him to stop and breathe; glaring the medics down from soap's side as they check him and come to the same conclusion soap already reached

he'll be iust fine; a few stitches and he'll be right back in it

ghost goes with him to the hospital to get the stitches laid, abandoning the site to their terrified builders to look after. it takes a few days before he can handle them being separated again, can't even handle one of them going shopping while the other site manages

but soap doesn't begrudge him for his clinginess, not when he knows it's rooted in the fear of losing him. he just keeps him close and calls him his good luck charm when they win the room reveal that week

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Okay so assuming there is absolutely nothing going on come Halloween night, no ancient threats or out of nowhere invasions or anything, which of the HoM would be up for trick-or-trwating, from most to least hyped?

These 6 would be especially excited for trick-or-treat out of the lot!

Their trick-or-treating would probably consist of them crashing people's homes (enemies and friends alike) to play some harmless (or not) pranks in the spirit of Halloween.

Randy just in general enjoys Halloween and dressing up. Danny is more excited to have Halloween fun with people not from Amity Park (or more like fun to mess with people who are actually afraid/get scared of ghosts unlike most of Amity citizens). Ben and Jun just likes any excuse to mess with people. While Zak and Rex are all up to have some relatively 'normal' fun with a group of friends (something they didnt have many opportunities for when they were younger).

The other three wouldn't mind joining them, but they would be more excited about hosting a big Halloween Party!

Kim, Jake and Jenny always sought out more social forms of holiday celebration, and they really would enjoy hosting a big party, open to all of their friends, be they magical, alien or human. Rex would also be incredibly excited (if not to actually host but to participate in it) because it is another 'normal' experience he never had a chance to get before.

Also can you imagine how rad the party would be???

There is also another thing two of them would be very excited about...

Haunted House/Maze.

Danny and Ben would get into a contest of who could make a better Haunted House/Maze for the party (with some assistance from Randy and Rex).

As I said before, Danny, with all his ghostly powers and expertese would be excited to make a Haunted House for people outside of Amity Park. While Ben would probably rise the challenge to Danny's efforts, saying that he could make a scarier maze.

And the truth is, despite all the ghostly things Danny can do, Ben would make a very decent opposition (and for why, you really need to only refer to Ben 10:AF episode Above and Beyond, that kid can be very sinister lol).

So the party would end up with two haunted mazes, one themed around ghost /spirits /magic, and the other themed around horror movies/sci-fi/aliens, which would fit really well, considering the diversity of their friends. ;D

also i dressed them up like that because

Danny as Phantom, dressed as Fright Knight because i just keep thinking about the dude. Danny as Fenton, a low effort t-shirt because he would be spending more time as Phantom.

Randy as Sorcerer, because despite defeating him, Randy can admit that he was pretty freaking spooky.

Zak as Francis (agent clone boy), because they planned to crash their agency HQ and Zak knew it would annoy Francis.

Jun as Loki of Marvel Variety, because she knows it would annoy Taylor (their universe Loki's demigod son) and it just amuses her in general how popular and different a Marvel Loki is, compared to that Loki she knows and is imprisoned.

Kim as Warmonga, mostly because i wanted to dress her as one of her enemies, but didn't want to go easy way of dressing her up as Shego or Dr. Krakken.

Jenny as Vexus, because Vexus design slaps and i wanted to.

Ben, Rex and Jake went the low-effort easy route (because they are like that), with Jake just freely walking around as Dragon (and people complimenting him on his scaly suit lol), and Ben and Rex transforming freely and whenever the want.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

✨Staticmoth wedding headcanons✨

Because I have a lot of thoughts but can't come up with the plot to turn it into fic

✨ Vox absolutely loses his shit. You would think that Valentino would be a groomzilla material but oh no no, Val just wants sexy dress and enough coke to last three days of partying. Vox needs everything perfect. He has his grand vision and is ready to tear with bare hands everyone who does not deliver. During the preparation time, he murders as many people as Val usually does. Velvette bails on being the wedding planner after just two weeks because it was seriously straining their friendship. But after a month, she's back in the game. Why? Because Vox strangled three other wedding planners in frustration, and things weren't moving forward, so Val was starting to freak out.

✨ The event is held at the Vees' Tower. I reckon they've got a venue suitable for hosting conferences and porn award shows.

✨ It's a grand event. I'm talking Grand™, like the Kim K and Kanye West of Hell kind of grand. But it's also elite, so the guest list isn't that long, around 200 invited people plus 50 ticketed spots for anyone willing to drop 100k hellish bucks to attend. Everything is dripping with gold and diamonds because "quiet luxury" isn't in the Vees' vocabulary. The whole affair reflects Val's aesthetic more, as it's Vox's love letter to him. Vox already had his wedding, and now it's time to fulfill his husband's dreams. So Val makes about 90% of the decisions without shouldering any real responsibilities. Which is fine by everyone because he's annoying as hell when it comes to picking roses, flamingo feathers, and starters. Nobody wants to put him in high-stress situations. Expect lots of red, pink, and gold, with heavy, decadent fabrics and neon lights; it's like an exclusive brothel meets the Las Vegas strip.

✨ When it comes to flowers, they settled on roses because they're Vox's favorites, which naturally made them Val's favorite too, given the sheer number of bouquets he's received. Vox, being the freak he is, counts every single bouquet he's ever given to Val. So, for their wedding, he ensures there are twice as many roses. Yes, he's a pathological overachiever.

✨ As for attractions, there’s a plethora of erotic dancers in cages and mesmerizing drone light shows. Karaoke, slot machines, live cooking stations, and all the drugs you can imagine. And let's not forget a fountain flowing with tequila. It's a true adult wonderland.

✨ Valentino skips the whole white dress thing and rocks a fierce red latex gown that's very Mugler but with a fetishcore twist. Vox keeps it sleek in a sharp black three-piece suit. His shirt's a bold blue, and his tie matches Val's dress. His shoulder pads are pointy, his waist is slutty, his ass looks divine. Oh yeah, about slutty waist - underneath the shirt he is hiding a leather corset, as a treat for the wedding night.

✨ Also none of them really have friends other than Velvette, just associates so there are no groomsmen/maids.

✨ Since there aren't any traditional churches or government officials in Hell (if there's even a government at all), Velvette takes on the role of officiating the wedding. Vox isn't entirely thrilled with this choice because there's always the risk she might crack a joke or publicly rib him, but hey, there's really no one else who could pull it off. I imagine that a wedding in Hell is also some form of magical contract but more about partnership than ownership. They do not exchange rings but blood sksksk also I don’t think that Vox can really wear rings with his claws? And they couldn't quite agree on a design that satisfied both of them. In the end, Val ends up wearing his illegally imported engagement ring from Earth, featuring four pink diamonds shaped like a moth's wings.

✨ Val's vow is, well, atrocious. It's the kind of thing that would definitely land him in one of those TikTok compilations of terrible grooms ruining their weddings. He mentions cream pieing Vox at least once. Vox at first freaks out but seconds later realizes Wow that's the man I'm marrying. I wouldn't want him any other way On the flip side, Vox's vow is immaculate. Crafted with the assistance of Voxtek's CMO and practiced to perfection, it leaves everyone in awe. He has out-of-body experience playing this role of prince charming.

✨ For their first dance, they opt for a steamy tango. Picture this: swirling red smoke on the floor, making it seem like they're dancing on the sky of the pride ring when the sun is setting down. Little do the guests know, the smoke is laced with drugs, sending most of them on a wild trip. The party quickly goes off the rails, but in the best way possible (according to the Vees’ standards).

✨ The cake is a five-tier monstrosity with five different flavors: tres leches and chocolate-cherry chosen by Val, confetti cake and strawberry cheesecake chosen by Vox and Red Velvet for Velvette because she couldn't shut up about it To top it all off, there's a big chocolate figure of Vox and Valentino dancing. Val is later caught drunk, eating it with his bare hands like the filthy animal he is.

✨ Velvette’s wedding gift is a pair of customized matching guns with small engravings that read "Partners in Crime."

✨ Valentino pulls off a surprise special pole dance performance as a wedding gift for his husband. Let's just say it's scorching hot and leaves at least 50 guests with, uh, visible excitement. Later on, things almost escalate to a full-on table bang, but...

✨ Velvette spends the entire evening reminding them that they can't just vanish to consummate their marriage because this whole party took months of preparations, and they need to be present. After all, people paid good money to be around them. The threat of cock cages hangs over their heads, but they promise to behave. However, Val being the horny beast he is, ends up taking Vox to the bathroom for a quickie anyway. Velvette decides to let it slide this time.

✨ At least 20 casualties mark the night. Vox ends up zapping one of the guests who gets a bit too clingy with Val during the dance. Meanwhile, Val gets into a brawl and, well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the other guy. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be having a great time, but hey, these are the Vees' colleagues we're talking about—they thrive on violence and sex.

✨ Yeah, there's no shortage of sex at this party. With a guest list mainly consisting of businesspeople, adult performers, and mobsters, tensions escalate rapidly. By around 3 A.M., half of the party is busy getting down and dirty in every corner imaginable.

✨ When Vox reaches the perfect level of drunkenness, he seizes control of the DJ station. Surprisingly, he's a natural, dropping beats like a pro and having an absolute blast. Val, meanwhile, goes absolutely wild watching him, thrilled to see Vox letting loose and embracing his creative side.

✨ Derek, Vox's assistant, is the odd one out, the only low-status person to snag an invite because Vox felt kinda generous. But truth be told, Derek hates the idea and wasn't keen on attending. However, when Melissa caught wind of his invitation, she practically dragged him there to be his plus one, desperate to get closer to Velvette. Derek's terrified of most of the guests, but Melissa's over the moon. She later fucks him as a reward for being a very brave boy. Angel is not invited because he would ruin mood of both grooms.

✨ Valentino had prepared the filthiest, kinkiest, most elaborate wedding night, but it doesn't go as planned. Surprisingly, things turn out very vanilla for their standards, with a lot of missionary, eye contact, and hand-holding. After 16 hours of non-stop action, they're both too exhausted to even think about getting creative.

Thank you @purrpleowl @watcherofeternalflame @canadianlucifer @aroromantic @malu897 @staticmothed @chaggieslovechild @gumm1defloor @mayflowersfly for your thoughts!

[toskarin]

going on the twine rant again, lads. fair warning.

-

the twine editor is theoretically great software

which is to say, twine editor is far and away the best execution of "a text game maker for people who mostly make text and not games" that presently exists. it's notable for making wholly self-contained (read: does not require interpreter software) text games with functioning mechanics at about the level of code literacy you could feasibly ask from people who brushed off of other more complicated software

this is in large part because the text adventure and IF ecosystem has the same problem as the (similarly insular and incestuous) scorewriting ecosystem: all of the software is made to be used by a group of like 50 people who don't use anything else, so they just settle for whatever exists

twine solves a lot of these problems by simply existing as an html game maker that can automate all of the functions of a gamebook out of the box. the editor has features which (to me) seem to be inspired by scrivener, which is my favourite WYSIWYG writing software for longform fiction on the market (I prefer writing in LaTeX but I can acknowledge that's a habit I picked up and not an endorsement of LaTeX)

that being said, even though there's an obvious utility to being able to prototype out rpgs and such in twine incredibly quickly, I can't really recommend people... use twine for that. because of the problems.

the twine editor is also kind of beautiful for all the ways in which it issoftware designed to torture the user

twine exists with one foot in "games" and one foot in "writing" and this overlap is the totality of its intended use. this space of compromise is still the best that's been made for this specific scene, but it means that edge cases are (at absolute best) operating twine in much the way that someone being hanging onto the edge of a shattered cockpit is operating an airliner

I could go on and on about the specific elements of twine's design that drive me insane, and in how it punishes you both for making too much of a book and for making too much of a game, but there's one problem that kind of sticks out as a simulacrum of this whole issue

by design, twine organises its projects as a story map. this is kind of like the middle point between scrivener's storyboard and a whiteboard, but specialised for use in making text games. this means that each node on it is one screen, called a card, that you can open and edit

doing this opens a window for text input, and the exact contents of this window kind of depend on which format you're writing your story in, but as a rule, you write everything into these sub-windows and that's the game

because twine runs in one window, these cards open more like menus than true windows. you can have one open at a time, and when you need to test something, you close the window and press the button to test the game. simple as

now, for making software, it's helpful to have a versioning function of some sort in case, among other reasons, you fuck something up in a way you don't immediately notice

for writing, you usually want some sort of undo function, in case you accidentally delete something or edit over it

at the intersection of these two, twine does have an undo function. which works differently depending on which version of the editor you're using. in the web version, you get multiple layers of undo. that makes sense.

in the downloaded version, which is the version you have to use if you don't want to use your browser's local storage (?? you shouldn't be doing this) you get

one layer of undo.

in a modern text editor.

that you are expected to write in.

this is on top of the browser-hosted version of twine editor being significantly more stable than the desktop version, so that's obviously the version you're meant to use, which runs in stark contrast to like... how that should work. this should already be raising your blood pressure a little bit if you remember that the browser version of twine saves your project files to your browser's local storage

now, common to both versions is another important feature which seemingly exists to prevent data loss: twine automatically saves your changes when you exit out of a card

this means that, the moment you close a card to go test the changes you just made to your game, they are saved over the previous version of the game with no way to undo them

but there IS a way to get around this without having to write in an entirely separate word processor! several ways even. you can even use the downloaded version if you do this

duplicate the full project every single time you make changes that could necessitate an undo function

make a copy of every card you edit in case you need to revert to it after testing, then remember to delete it afterwards

if you're editing the cards themselves, see option 1, because there is no way to undo deletion of cards in the story map

and like... that's not good. it's kind of the hell machine for killing all human beings, actually

it's also not a problem remotely unique to twine, because this is the kind of thing you see in most niche-specialised software where there isn't really a distinction made between "this is an expected frustration of working on any artistic project" and "this is something completely insane that absolutely should not be the case and isn't tolerated in immediately adjacent comparable creative fields"

twine can be used to make longer projects, but at the point where you're recommending two layers of supporting software that overlap so hard with the editor that they should be redundancies, it becomes clear that the only thing it's really fit-for-purpose to do is non-linear fiction consisting of two or three paragraphs per card

and that's generally not what it's used for! because that sort of thing is almost universally understood as a stepping stone towards using twine for making either longform non-linear fiction or full-featured rpgs

twine could be really useful software, and in fairness it's generally better than the alternatives it supplanted in its niche (people making little interactive poems probably shouldn't be trying to use Inform or TADS), but it really seems like it was designed with as a cursed amulet meant to cause as much grief as possible while being difficult to justify throwing away

[jellazticious]

bing bong bootleg SS au

very long ramble under the C

stuff are subjected to change

The working title isn't solidified but I'm leaning on either Candy Castle or Pastry Castle

Tho I think I'm gonna go for pastry cuz it has the same amount of letters as castle much like pizza and tower have the same number too

The tower is a gingerbread castle. According to a friend of mine (It's Beefy, it's always Beefy go follow him) that Hispanics love their bakeries and yeah, I guess that makes sense. Not only do I have a theme based on the protag's culture but also the theme gets narrowed down to just baked sweets. Candy in general is too broad, I would die figuring out how to put every kind of sweet in it, and if I did it's gonna be really cluttered hooboy

Noise is called Theo because that's Peppino's name formula. Peppino is a nickname for Giuseppe so I thought I'd give Noise's swap a nickname to Theodore as the main name

Hazel Nutt is pretty self explanatory cuz Noisette means hazelnut in French

Their outfits are pretty simple to mirror Peppino and Gustavo's with just coloured shirts and aprons

Hazel doesn't get a mount because she would have Theo's prototype rocket skates. Just like Gus, she would have different stages of getting used to the skates per floor. First she gets blasted from end to end cuz she can't control the thrust. Second, she manages to turn it off but she's trying to keep balance on it. Third, she catches her breath now that she could stand still without moving or slipping. Next she would make a card castle, in reference to the very castle they're inside. and lastly she'd be holding a box of sweets without giving a shit about the scary floor.

To parallel the og Noisette, Hazel would smile bigger when Theo faces her direction.

Hazel is also Theo's delivery gal to match and switch with how Peppino WAS Gustavo's delivery guy

The "kick the rat" function would be Hazel swinging one of the skates and the cops grabbing Brick would instead hold a weapon detector that also functions as a magnet

Unlike Peppino, Theo is more aggressive than anxious. Imagine an injured cat defending itself from what it thinks is a threat

the name of Pizzaface's swap is Pieface for obvious reasons 😭

but HEAR ME OUT

both pizzaface and pieface are used as insults. pizza face is used for people with so much acne and pie face is used for someone with a flat face or dull expression. It isn't just a pun on what food the characters are made of. Pieface is also a reference to the trope where people headshot other people with pies. With the mech floating towards the protag, it would look like a pie is being thrown and targeted at Theo

Honestly drawing what food makes his face is so fun. Did you know that before the croissant smile it was supposed to be syrup shaped to a smile? The nose was a long whip of cream before turning into a cut strawberry for the mustache effect

Pizzahead's candy version would be called Gingerhead because of how ridiculous it sounds.

Gingerhead is based on Willy Wonka much like how Pizzahead is based on Ronald McDonald which is why he has more of a showman look than a clown look

okay side note, it just occured to me how ironic PH being based on Ronald is considering McDo's isn't a pizza place

actually Wonka doesn't even sell cakes and shit so, I guess it's fair game

Theo has the nickname Muffinman to reference the rhyme. but this time, it's the gingerbreadman chasing the baker

Next up is Mr S, who would be Peppino but he becomes rich. Mr S is the stage name he uses. He is a known celebrity much as Noise is but he is more of a boxer than a host. Like Dwayne Johnson or something. His name is partially a reference to ResEvil's Mr X, another absolute unit of a guy

also the reason why he doesn't wear a shirt. He's committing to the bit. If he needs to cover himself when he isn't playing a role, then there's his robe. He doesn't take out his mask most of the time tho

Mr S's mask is based on the Chef Raider design but also part of the scrapped superhero design much like Pizzano. Actually speaking of Pizzano, S is characterized so similarly to him cuz Pizzano is the only SS character who was actually written well to my standards. To be fair we've seen too much of Peppino to flunk characterizing him sksksk

Since this is Peppino that Mr S is based on, he's not as tech savvy or as self centered as Noise so he doesn't have robots that look like himself. Instead he has ants for a crew

the ants swap the place of rats. the rats in PT reference the new york pizza rat while ants just generally eat your food especially if it's sweet when left alone for five minutes

the ants come from Mr G, who would be Gustavo's swap with Noisette. He's Mr S's lawyer. at the end of S's bossfight, G would snatch him away with Click (the ant) because S would make a foul and embarrassing move on live camera

I can't seperate Gustavo and Brick so Click stays with Mr G instead of assisting Hazel

inside what would be Noisette cafe, instead of Mr G and Click being behind the counter, they would be sitting as customers next to Caraman. the barista isn't seen anywhere

Honestly when I'm writing everyone, my logic of swapping them isn't "make them switch places AND personalities" but more of "write every single one of them with the og personality because giving them a different lifestyle/role would drastically change their motives and how they behave"

I'm practically just swapping each character's place of birth

I mentioned this because it's kinda funny with Noisette and Gus since they play the exact same role of assisting Peppino/Noise so swapping them won't change much in how they act. They also have the same cheery and welcoming personality by default so Hazel and Mr G would act REALLY similar to their og

The only difference is that Gustavo can be threatening whenever Peppino fucks up. It fits right in with being a lawyer for the same goon

Now we got Mel Caraman who would become this au's Vigi. Lemme just say off the bat that Caraman is just as delusional as Vigi. He gets hired as a guard for floor 2 and took it way too seriously that he thinks he's some sort of sentinel. Hired as a guard but thinks he's an ancient guardian or something

his name vaguely references James Bond because you also VAGUELY get "caramel" out of "Caraman, Mel Caraman"

Caraman is a caramel apple but he's half glazed to form an eyemask. he's also got a stick poking out his head that stretches his chorro hat. the big hat makes him look cooler anyways. Bro I was so ready to settle for a shitty wild west mayor hat and I owe Beefy one for suggesting a new hat. I was gonna make him look like Doug Dimmadome with the short brimmed tall hat😭😭😭

but yeah Caraman doesn't have the same dignity as Vigi does. He can fight crime decently on normal circumstances and badass when he's full serious. But like day in day out he's so obnoxious about looking for crime that people get tired of him nor would they take him seriously

he would also be mistaken for a pepper

Next to last, Cam M. Bert or just Bert who would take place of Pepperman. he's an artist who appreciates the world instead of himself, a freelancer also. There was only a bossfight because he was coincidentally commissioned to make a mural for the castle the same time Theo busts in. He didn't like how Theo ruined some of his works with his rush to open the door

Bert is a cream cheese instead of a cheese slime. his beret is actually a little cherry to distinguish him from the other creams.

Bert is really chill and humble, He's like Bob Ross, whenever he can, he'd try to talk about how every beauty in the world should be immortalized through a canvas

In parallel to Vigi's delusion of thinking he's a human, Bert thinks he's actually a living painting (which is completely possible for someone to be in the PT world since Pepperman was able to do it with his own art)

instead of a :{ face that Vigilante has, Bert has a :3 face

the naming formula is taken directly from Vigi

Vig E. Lantte

Cam M. Bert

There is a type of sweet cheese that's really creamy called camembert which his name is a direct reference from. Here is a picture of a camembert since it's hella cute

Camembert cheese was also suggested by Beefy, brother thank you for not allowing me to name this cunt Creamlad

Mr Lardo would be in place of Mr Stick but his motive is that he's collecting Theo's money on BEHALF of Mr Stick. They're probably the only ones who completely stay intact because there's not much canon info of Stick WITHIN the game itself I also feel he's a crossover character from his own "series" with how long McPig has him prior to PT so I just swap the character who makes the "cameo"

The toppins are still called toppins because they'd be used to decorate a cake or pie. They would be

Strawberry - Mushroom

Cream - Cheese

Cookie - Tomato

Icing (in a piping bag) - Sausage

actually I dont know yet for the pineapple but I'll get to it. I've only been figuring out this au since four days ago....

Lastly (of the characters), the Faker in this would be mechanical to match the original Noise's familiarity in robots

Fake Theo (temp name) would be engineered to be "Theo but way better" while actually being succesful with it. Faker would also sort of look like a mini figure of a ballerina. Referencing The Nutcracker

Opposite to Fake Peppino, Fake Theo is more graceful than terrifying but it's so uncanny how unnaturally pretty it is

and now some misc stuff

Title of the final level is When The Cookie Crumbles

the pepper pizza will be replaced with an extremely sweet pie and the immunity is caused by the sugar rush from it

Pizza Time is called Crunch Time

Pillar John would be a giant graham cracker since the walls are made of cookies instead of bricks. Gerome however, is a solidified bar of brownies. like a shittily made brownie that it just turned into a construction brick

Snotty is a pure white cream cheese and that's cuz he's actually made of glue. His name is Sticky

Pigs would either be bears or rabbits with how many times those two animals represented sweets

I'm gonna be clear with everyone here. I literally made this au cuz I'm going insane trying to make swap stuff with Pascal/Stefano when the au itself is so empty. sure it's colourful but it's so empty like I can't draw SS characters outside of poses

I tried like doing fanon modifications as I always do then there's so much I "modified" that at this point it's not Sugary Spire anymore. Just straight up a completely different au. The only similarity is that it's a swap au with sweets

it is what it is yknow. this is my life now. I said fuck it and went with the flow and boom, new personal au that I poured too much into

basically I blame Pascal for this

[freebirdsworldburritos]

The classism in the "music gear" scene is fucking atrocious. So many people will shit on other people for using affordable gear as a way to justify within themselves that dropping $3,000 on a guitar was a smart financial move.

About 3-4 years ago I joined a band and a month after I joined we went on some video podcast. Play a few songs, do an interview, something I've never done before but it seemed like it'd be fun.

I wasn't able to really get a word in during the interviews (stuttering/speech impediment/anxiety issues ran wild) but I was able to speak up whenever the host went around and asked us what our favorite instrument/gear brands were. Weird question, but alright buddy.

I've always been a fan of cheaper gear. You don't need all sorts of expensive shit to get the sound you want. So when he asked my answer was "Squier" and the dude just started laughing. Because who possibly would prefer one of the cheaper brands??? (Keep in mind this douche had a whole wall of the absolute worst looking collection of custom shop BC Rich guitars you've ever seen.)

Eventually he backed down once I started arguing with him about it, but his immediate elitist attitude really struck a cord in me because I see that shit all over the internet in music communities. "Oh you only like Squiers/Epiphones/Harley Bentons because you can't afford BIG BOY guitars like a $5,000 Gibson".

Fuck right off with that shit. Why would I pay thousands of dollars for a guitar when I can get something that works amazingly for me for just a few hundred dollars? The extra money I save by not dropping 4 figures on a guitar or amp goes towards paying my bills, feeding my kids, just trying to fucking live and exist.

At this point I've had to sell 99% of my music gear after over a decade of following the gear chase. I only have a "cheap" acoustic I bought several years ago for $350 and it's the best guitar I've ever had. I love my little busted neck Hummingbird to death.

I'm much happier now than I was when I had a huge assortment of pedals and guitars to choose from. The Gear Chase is designed to make you want to spend more and more money in an endless pursuit of finding that "perfect" piece of gear. Guitar companies, partnered youtubers, influencers, and all sorts of advertisement campaigns are purposefully trying to misguide you into thinking you NEED their product. It's marketing and capitalism at work and so many musicians fall for it every time. I fell for it for years before I got completely fed up with it.

Go out and gig with your Squier Bullet Strat and a cheap amp you found at a pawn shop, fuck anyone that gives you shit for it. Go ahead and record with whatever you have at your disposal. Put out an album that's comprised of Voice Memos you recorded on your phone with just an acoustic and your voice.

Music, like any art, is about way more than what you used to get there. It's how you express yourself that really matters. Don't listen to the elitists and marketers telling you the only way you can authentically reach your creative vision is by buying their snake oil.

[distant-velleity]

Just listen to your instincts and do what feels natural!

[SR Music Week] Yuhua joins the battle as a dancer and backup vocalist for Hazard/Riff! Many thanks to @raguiras2 for hosting this Music Weeks event!

Voicelines and concept sketches beneath the cut~

~

Summon: Don’t think that I’m in this to win, I’m here to have fun and do what I love. That’s fine, right?

Groovification: — LOCKED —

Set to Home Screen: A little rocking never hurt anybody, did it?

Home Transition 1: Actually, confession time, I’ve started to feel a little shy. Everyone in this group is so talented in their own way, y’know? …But I gotta keep up and pull my weight.

Home Transition 2: To think Deuce would be a leader for Hazard/Riff… Well, not what I expected, but where else would he go? It just seems right. …Sorry, just thinking out loud.

Home Transition 3: So this is what Allen looks like when he’s in his natural habitat… Ah, I’m just making some observations. I’m not trying to say anything bad, rather—the opposite of that. Like, he seems… more sincere?

Home, after login: Practice waits for no one~ I’m gonna go start warming up. Wanna join me?

Home Transition (Groovification): — LOCKED —

Tap Home 1: Eh? You didn’t think I’d ask to join this group? …Rude~ We can’t all be soft all the time. 

Tap Home 2: It’s funny to me—all you have to do here is call something a competition and—boom. Even someone like Leona’s motivated. …Oops, did he hear me say that?

Tap Home 3: Working with Floyd is a double-edged sword—when he’s having fun here, I get all excited, too. But if he’s not in the mood, then… haha, we just gotta hope and pray.

Tap Home 4: Don’t worry, I’m used to wearing loose clothing when I dance. Compared to the long pants and dresses I sometimes wore, this fit is like a breath of fresh air~

Tap Home 5: I wouldn’t touch me if I were you—I’m all sweaty and tired from rehearsal. 

Tap Home (Groovification): — LOCKED —

Duo Magic (yes I know SRs don't have them but let us dream):

YUHUA: How about we give them one hell of a show, Vizzie?

VIZZIE ( @twistedwonderlandshenanigans ): We’ll blow them away with the sound we’ve got, Yuhua!

~

ALRIIIIGHT let's get into the design of this bad boy

the idea was ... basically just a bit of techwear, modern street style, all that-- i was sort of winging it haha. i wanted a very loose and free style with the cargo pants, belts, and unzipped jacket, while the hood was added for dramatic effect when i started the lineart~

i felt like experimenting with his hair so once again i slicked back the right-hand side of his part, i would have given him his pre-overblot hair (for more variety w/ the long hair) but to be honest i kind of like the short hair with this look~ it kind of screams kpop idol but whatever HAHAHAHAHA

fishnet under clothing was an absolute must, and i went a little more on the ""bad boy"" look by giving him the chain and cuff earring on one side... plus the dramatic eyeliner/eyeshadow... yeah. RIP yuhua's lip gloss we will always miss you

also shoutout to V for volunteering vizzie for the duo magic-- i love me a good RIOFY friendship

(as for headcanons on how yuhua would act during this whole event, um-- he'll behave i promise 🥰🥰 he'll try not to let his inferiority complex get the best of him I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAAAT)

i can't think of anything else that i thought about particularly hard during the process, so uhm-- thank you for reading this far and no promises on when i'll get the groovified version out if ever LMAO

~

art taglist (ask to be added or removed, i'm very sorry if i forgot someone): @thehollowwriter @theleechyskrunkly @elenauaurs @casp1an-sea @nahelenia

@skriblee-ksk @boopshoops @scint1llat3 @nyx-of-night @nemisisnemi

@beneathsakurashade @ramcatshackle @kathxrat-01 @the-banana-0verlord

[ufopigeon]

to the random ass proshippers

I’ll block proshippers and I won’t throw any first punches if I find the accounts. Just block n’ move on. Think what you want, but think it away from me. This is for the ppl who are going after others both anonymously and in the open, and being insistent about misunderstanding his character. It is absolutely absurd that some are really trying to PUSH the mere implication that the Postal Dude could be a pedo/have pedophilic tendencies, or that “it makes sense for him”. Some of you are ragebait I’m sure, but I also sadly think some of you are really genuine. And this is also the last I am going to speak about it. Just wanted to do something longer on behalf of everyone else who does not agree with this random influx.

The Postal Dude is obviously designed to be an ambiguous character, allowing players to project various characteristics onto him. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that any and all negative traits can be justified. Ambiguity in character design is meant to give freedom in interpretation, but it doesn't equate to carte blanche for projecting extreme or inappropriate characteristics that aren't supported by the game’s narrative or the developer's intent. Assuming that a character would commit any and all bad acts simply because they commit some is a lazy and inaccurate approach to understanding character design.

The argument that, "Durrr he’s literally a mass shooter, why is it so far-fetched for him to be a pedo too?" is a slippery slope fallacy. It’s that same exact shit all the edgelords try to use when they say (just so they can justify attacking any queer fans, same way SOME proshippers want to feel justified in attacking those who disagree), “The Postal Dude SPECIFICALLY hates gay people and trans people and wouldn’t support them at all/be grossed out by them! Why? Uhh, because he’s literally an evil, vile character! Duh!” Sure he is. No denying that. And sure, you can think that about him. But it’s just fundamentally inaccurate. Just because the games allow for extreme behaviors doesn’t mean they endorse or include every possible immoral action.

And just because a character engages in morally questionable actions doesn’t logically lead to them engaging in the worst possible behaviors. The creator's stance is crucial in defining the boundaries of the character. If the creators have explicitly stated that Postal Dude would never engage in pedophilia (just like how they explicitly stated he wasnt transphobic) and that such content would never be included in the game, this is a definitive limitation on what the character can be reasonably interpreted as. Again, I don’t care if you hold a private opinion that differs. But when you start accusing those who disagree with this extreme interpretation of being the weird or wrong ones, that’s where it becomes an issue.

Dude's actions, while extreme, are presented within a certain context that aims to criticize or mock certain aspects of society. Pedophilia is not something that fits within this satirical style. Yes, even for Postal 1997. I don't care if it is generally considered more "serious" than other games, they still had Dude throwing out stupid-ass catchphrases in a silly radio-host-sounding voice that was obviously supposed to be a stark contrast to what was happening on screen (“Buttsauce”. “Smells like chicken” when burning NPCs. Really now? Go ahead and listen to more from the original. They’re all silly one-liners.). It was a shock at the time and a bit of dark humor. Following games only increased this aspect.

All in all, Postal Dude’s actions, while immoral, are usually presented in a way that allows for some level of detachment or absurdity, keeping them within the realm of dark comedy. Yes, 1997 is still included here. It’s an absurd game. One man took out hundreds of people and was armed to the teeth, even with literal rocket launchers. His main weapon has infinite ammunition. It was an obviously over-the-top video game with a loose connection to reality and an even looser message about “something something mental health and everyone has it in them to go postal”. It was a game made to shock people. Pedophilia, however, is universally considered an irredeemable act, something that cannot be framed in any context that would make it acceptable or even darkly humorous. The distinction between immoral and irredeemable acts is crucial here. The Postal Dude can be morally ambiguous, but crossing into irredeemable territory would fundamentally alter the character in a way that the game and its creators/99.9% of the fans do not support.

Also: “But muh 1997 promo art where it says his girlfriend was 17!! She says they just started dating 3 weeks ago!!” Yeah. The same photo was used with the girl also saying, “It was so weird. He told everyone I was his girlfriend, but I only met him once.” It says “live” near the bottom corner, implying this was an interview with the girl AFTER the crimes had taken place. In the promotional pic where it states she’s 17, it also says she DIED of third degree burns while he was on his rampage. Now that doesn’t really add up, does it. How can this girl give an interview after everything is said and done while also dying in the middle of his killing spree?

AKA, these promotional photos were reused over and over because they were on a budget and really not thinking about it, and are absolutely not valid for legit storytelling purposes at all. RWS has even said this themselves.

[aesthetic-bbyg]

PAINT AND WINE ~ BILL K.

BASED OF THIS POST!

Bill Kaulitz x nailtech!reader

in which your favorite client comes to you to decorate his nails and leave you flustered by the end of the session.

FOR WHAT FELT LIKE THE 50th time you sprayed down your supplies, wiping each individual tool till you saw your reflection. You scurried around the room, reaching for the cherry scented air freshener and spraying it everywhere. You checked yourself in the large mirror, scrunching your hair, fixing your smudged lipgloss, adjusting the your shirt, you had a client coming in. Not just any other client, your favorite client, the famous lead singer of a German band that had slid into your dm’s and eventually became your regular client. Not to mention the fact that he was cute, beautiful bleach blond hair reaching his shoulder, he always had on dangly jewelry that jingled with each step, a bright outfit and the occasional platforms.

He had booked an appointment a week prior, texting you a frowny face and his outgrown nails that you remember doing just a month beforehand. You immediately pushed back any plans, clearing up the whole day just for him, was a bit excessive, yes, but at least your were self aware of it. You pulled the wine out from the fridge and added it into a bucket of ice, two shiny glasses stood next to it. You took a look around the room, making sure that everything was perfect, then a knock softly came from your front door. You smiled, rushing towards it and swirling as his familiar face came into sight. You immediately grinned back, opening his arms and lowering his tall figure to connect your bodies in a hug.

As you expected, he had a glittery outfit and a bright expression on his face. “It’s so good to see you, schatz!” He mumbled into your hair, lightly swaying your bodies side to side as you giggled.

“It’s amazing see you.” You hled his hands and pulled him into your apartment, he took in the open windows that let the natural light in, the bowls on the floor for your dog, and the tidy living area that lead into your mini setup. “How’s my favorite client doing?” You questioned with a knowing smile, walking towards the cold wine bottle and opening it.

“Oh, your so sweet.” He blushed, setting down his mini hand-bag onto your couch, helping you pour in the liquid to the glasses. “I’ve been doing very good, the band and I are meeting up soon to start practicing for the show. And, I’m hosting the German Barbie premiere!”

You gasp happily, smiling at him and clapping your hands, “That’s amazing, Billy, I can only assume that your outfit will absolutely gorgeous.” As if your words sparked a reminder in his head he rushed to his hand bag and pulled out his phone.

“Oh, you must see what I’m going to wear, it’s stunning and I want to have matching nails with it.” His grown out nails clicked on his screen as he swiped through his photos and flipped to you, in the photo he revealed his sparkly, sequin one piece that was displayed on a mannequin. “And then I was thinking of some pink platform to go with it.”

Your eyes widened, taking the device into your hands you zoomed in on piece. “That’s beautiful, Bill.” You mumbled looking up at the blonde, “Sit down we have to start now, a pretty design for a pretty man.” You winked, handing him back the phone as his face flushed with a red tint.

You immediately began, sanitizing your hands and slipping on pink gloves as Bill described his idea for the look. It incorporated a lot of pink—obviously the premiere would be centered around Barbie’s iconic color— and green. Of course, he always let you have some creative freedom when it came to doing his nails, you were the artist of course. Your took buzzed as you swiped it I’ve the old design, giving you a brand new canvas to deal with.

“And when I first pitched the idea to my designer he totally didn’t agree, he was talking about how the green wasn’t right, the sparkles didn’t look good..” Bill ranted on like usual as you listened in, humming occasionally to acknowledge your attention while always working up his nails.

“Bill, just fire him at this point.” You spoke up, sipping the wine and placing it back down before reaching for a brush. “Your stylist hasn’t done anything but disagree with your options, a professional one would listen to you and Mickey add in their opinions.”

The man let out a sigh, throwing his head back in a groan, you smirked, softly chuckling to yourself at his antics. “I know, I know, I just don’t know how to fire people, I’ve never done it before.”

“Sometimes you have to be mean in order to get your message across, don’t let people take advantage of your kindness, learn to draw line.” You replied softly when a ding rang from your phone, you glanced over and smiled. “Our food is here!”

Bill gasped, as you stood up. “You got me food?” He stared up at you admiringly, voice so soft and happy. You nodded, walking towards the door before he caught your hands, tightly holding it. “You are the best nail tech ever.”

“You are my favorite client ever.” You smiled, squeezing his hand and pulling away to pick up the food that was dropped off on your front door. Once you collected it you walked back into the room only to be met with a phone camera recording you as you walked ack to your seat. “What?”

“You are amazing, truly.” He said, putting his phone down, “I’m posting that on my Instagram to show people just how mama isn’t you are.”

“I do my best.” You winked, handing him a few boxes of food, and fizzy drink to keep him company as you continued your work. “Are we thinking about gems for the look.”

“Of course, it is a requirement at this point.” The blonde replied, sipping away at his drink while watching you. “You know we have a show coming up soon, you should come.”

“Really? I can’t even remember the last time you guys have preformed.” You smiled, dipping into the light pink acrylic with a wet brush and gently swiping it from his nail bed to the top of his previous nail. “Where will it be at?”

“In Germany, but don’t worry I can pay for the hotel the flight, everything.” He ushered out quickly, awaiting you reaction while you work skillfully on his hand.

“I’ll see if my schedule is busy that week.” You replied, “I’ll do my best, especially if you’ll be wearing my nails out there.”

Bill smiled, revealing his pearly as a giant dimple indented his cheek. “You know your my only girl.”

His words made such a bubbly feeling flutter within your stomach as you kept your head low and focused on his hand to hide the blush on your face. Once you’d refilled all ten fingers you reached for your phone for inspiration, flipping through multiple designs and colors that would match his outfit but also be cute enough to wear out for any occasion. “I think a sharp stiletto shape could be good, and we could do two separate colors on each nail.”

You nodded as you listened to his words, reaching for your nail file and buffer, he was already looking through multiple tester nails to choose what colors he wanted. “So should we do a different design on each nail to keep the theme going or keep them all the same just change the color?”

“To make your job easier, I say we keep them all the same.” Bill replied before shaking you a bright neon color that caught his eyes. “Let’s do this one,” You noted the color before he switched to another shade of pink, “and this one.”

“Amazing choice.” You smiled, running the file against the nail, shaping the plastic into a sharp pointed as the blonde admired your passionate concentration. The way you leaned in, eyes focusing on how even the edges were despite Bill not caring whether they were symmetrical or not. You could’ve given him the worst possible set with an unflattering color and he’d still tip you a ridiculous amount of money.

You purposely took far to long buffing his nails, making dumb small talk and stopping your movements so that you could engage with him more. You played dumb when you connected your drill, pretending that one didn’t work or it was busted just so he’d lean forward a little in an attempt to help despite not having a clue on what the issue even was (Which was nothing).

“Are you finished?” You questioned, pointing at the cup that had been sitting by his arm for the past thirty minutes, he snapped out of his mini trance and grabbed it.

“Yeah, I’m done.” He smiled kindly as you tossed it into the trash can behind you, where all the rest of the empty boxes of food resided. “So, how has life been?”

You chuckled softly, reaching for a bottle of nail polish. He’d asked the same questions three times now. “Pretty good.” You nodded, coating a thin layer of black onto his nails.

Bill clicked his tongue, eyes wandering around the room in a desperate attempt to find another topic to talk about. “Has Bruno gotten better?” He glanced at the picture frame sitting on a shelf, a fluffy shih tzu posing for the camera.

You beamed at the sound of your dogs name, lifting your head up from his nails and leaning over to grab your phone. “Yes, the last vet visit went really well! Look, he even starting eat regularly now.” You pearly teeth practically sparkled from your big grin as you showed him a video the the dog grubbing on the cylinder treats in a metal bowl.

“Aww, look at the baby boy.” Bill muttered, taking your phone as you went back to painting the design onto his nails. “Thinking about getting another one?”

“Thinking about, but I don’t know yet, I really want to though.” You replied, squinting your eyes and steadying you hand as you swirled the thin brush onto the acrylic. For the next hour you worked diligently in perfecting the colorful neon colors and giggling when the blonde made immature jokes before the room fell into a comfortable silence. Bill could only stare in awe as you hands worked in such smooth movements, everything about you so elegant and beautiful.

Even the concentrated look on your face that you swore was stupid made him smile, such supple features carved out that he could only describe as perfect. Gentle and soft skin, such a silky voice that hummed with the music, it was ridiculous just how many things he could find that he’d admire. From the color of your irises to the different moles on your face, he’d sat in the same chair so many times and admired you for so long that you practically engraved in his mind. And as the space in his brain began to fill up, it quickly leaked in the core of his heart, he couldn’t say that it belonged to him anymore because it only beat for you.

“You like the way it’s looking?” You spoke up, Bill’s mind fogged up with so many thoughts that he’d spaced out for a while. You’d already begun placing the rhinestones, for what he thought was seconds was actually hours.

“Oh my.” He mumbled, taking in the sparkly jewels that were placed onto his thumb. “I love it!”

“Perfect.” You blushed, going back to your work, and so you finished after another half hour, finishing up by rubbing some cuticle oil scented in sweet watermelon. Immediately, Bill walked over to your couch, retrieving his mini back and digging through to find his wallet. Your hands came up, gripping his wrist as he pulled out a large sum of bills. “It’s on me, I insist, Billy.”

“No, no, I can’t let you do that!” The blonde whined, knowing that you were far too stubborn when it came to paying for his nails. “Just this once, let me pay you the money you deserve.”

“I’ve told you before, I don’t want your money, keep it.” You lightly pushed away his hands that were offering you the money as he frowned, sighing heavily. “When I have you here, it doesn’t feel like I’m working, it feels like joy, so keep the money.”

Bill groaned, “Fine, I keep the money but you must promise me something.” You smiled as he placed the cash into his bag.

“Anything.”

“Sometime this week, you and me are going to find someone to make you a dress for the premiere.” He smirked, crossing his arms as your mouth slightly hung open ajar.

“But I have to check my—“

“Sweetie, your going with me, and that’s it.”

“Is this your way of asking me on a date?” You teased, your tone only half joking as you giggled.

He shrugged, hair bouncing of his shoulder while he smirked. “You could say that, the plus one ticket could go to you, my date.”

You grinned, “Your date? So does this mean you like me, Billy?”

“I really like you, sweetie, otherwise I would’ve invited Tom.” He chuckled softly, “Though I don’t think he’d want to wear pink.”

For what felt like the millionth time, you smiled so big and wide that you were sure your mouth would get stuck in that position. “How about a kiss and some wine, in honor our first date.”

Bill’s spark nails clicked as it wrapped around the wine glass. The red liquid swishing as he sipped it before passing it to you, you drank what was left before placing it onto the table. As soon as the liquid passed down your throat he leaned forward, red stained lips connecting with yours. The taste of wine lingering between your intertwining tongues as you desperately leaned in closer, arms around around his neck.

After months of waiting you finally got your own taste of heaven.

y’all this took way to long to make and I’m sorry but ur girl has been busy w school and after school I’m sleeping so this took way long to write then usual. ALSO, I need to spill the tea abt this mf in my class that’s like an ugly-hot typa dude but his personality is a 15/10. But the worst part is that he had a gf— but like we have a connection I swear he wants me fr.

[tswaney17]

Some Perspective

The drama surrounding Elain Week is utterly ridiculous, and I cannot believe I'm having to write this, but for some unknown reason, people just can't seem to grasp the purpose of the "no abusers" rule set by the event team. So, let me break this down for you.

First off, this is not a shipping event. Elain Week is about (surprise!) Elain Archeron. It is a week designed to celebrate the love of her character. There is one prompt that is specifically designated for relationships. However, that can include her relationships with her sisters, her friends, and yes, potential love interests. The week is not supposed to be focused on those around her. It is supposed to be about HER.

Now let's address the whole ship thing. This rule has been in place for several years now. It is not new. So, why is it now such a big deal? After several years of having this rule in place, why is it only now becoming a big issue? Does it really bother you, or are you just looking for a fight?

But why was the rule put in place to begin with? Elain is one of the most hated characters (if not the most) in the ACOTAR fandom (for reasons I cannot even fathom). Is it because she's a traditionally soft, feminine character or because the fictional male you like actually has shown interest in her? Either way, Elain is often shipped with CANON DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ABUSERS such as Tamlin or Beron (or Flynn's DV father from Crescent City - yes, I have seen this) to make her "interesting" or to "make him better" (incase you have forgotten: women are not a rehabilitation center for broken men). Or, she's shipped with them to dehumanize her, to demean her, or even degrade her. Again, let me reiterate that this week is about positively celebrating Elain's character. So, why would the event hosts want to share art or fics or creative content that does the exact opposite? Why should those that truly love Elain be forced to watch you rip her apart during HER appreciation week? How is that fair?

Is it possible that there are some people who truly ship Elain with DV abusers with good intentions? Yes, absolutely. But is it fair to ask the event hosts to have to search through every single post and make a determination whether it's positively or negatively reflecting Elain's character? No.

If they decided to do that, and made a decision to not share some content that was determined to not attribute positively to Elain's character, would you still be throwing a fit? - Do I need to actually answer this one because we know what it would be.

So, they made a choice to set a boundary to 1) protect their DV victims who have voiced concerns in the past and 2) to ensure that this appreciation week for Elain Archeron actually stays positive. They are not saying you can't ship who you want. They have not said you cannot create whatever content you want for this event. They are only choosing to ensure that the pages dedicated to Elain remain clean of Elain hate and slander.

Ship who you want, have appreciation weeks for whatever you decide, it literally doesn't matter. But don't come at the event hosts for striving to keep things positive for a character that nine times out of ten, is negatively spoken about. If you don't like it, you are more than welcome to host your own.

Which brings me back to my earlier question... Those that are up in arms about this rule and who are bullying the event hosts (don't deny that you are, I've seen some of things being said. I've scrolled through the tags. You are indeed, bullying and harassing the hosts.), tell me - were you actually going to participate in Elain Week or are you, as I mentioned before, just looking to pick a fight?