#i abide by a lot of canon but canon is held together by dental floss and a dream so

[merriclo]

I don't know yuore oc names uuuhh. does mario kart exist in your world. if it did who wld yr characters main

AHAJDKKA THANK YOU FOR ASKING <3

so the OCs i mainly refer to on this blog are my hero’s call au characters so, tragically, mario kart would not exist in their world :( BUT this is such a funny question that i’m answering it anyway. modern au time bitch. answers below the cut bc damn that’s a lot of guys

going with Mario Kart 8 Deluxe here because that was what first came up when i googled Mario Kart :)

Hero: Luigi. god bless this man he does not know anything about the Mario franchise outside of the first few Mario games. he chose Luigi over Mario because he likes green more than red. (plus he asked Spirit if that was a good choice and she said he was fine so)

Loft: Yoshi. he likes the look of him and he always felt really bad for dropping him into the abyss when playing Mario as a kid so this is a sort of apology

Minish: Toad. they can do a perfect impression of Toad and is not afraid to use it to terrify people.

Prism: either Dry Bowser or Princess Daisy. listen okay this guy is an elite gamer and also a huge fucking nerd, so obviously he’s crunched the numbers; he also really likes Game Theory and watched that one video where MatPat claimed that Dry Bowser (and a specific kart build that i don’t remember) was the fastest. bUt he’s also kind and hates absolutely obliterating his friends every single time, so he tones it down and chooses Princess Daisy (her specifically because his fiancée, Zelda, loves Daisy. if it weren’t for her he’d be Villager Male.)

Mask: Shy Guy. little guy with mask 🤝 little guy with mask.

Oracle: Bowser. this bitch is here to win, but, unlike Prism, he doesn’t have the time to crunch the numbers. so he just.. googled what the best build is and goes with that

Lorule: Birdo. trans rep.

Traveler: Waluigi. he’s obnoxious as hell what else do you expect of it.

Wolf: it’s between Cat Peach and Donkey Kong. HE’S A FURRY he loves both cats and monkeys, but he chooses Cat Peach a little bit more often because he’s also a #feminist

Red: Isabelle. Red is an Animal Crossing player at his core. plus he also loves dogs very much

Green: Dry Bowser. this man is a strategist at heart, he’s gonna do his research and perform as best as he can. though he’s a little embarrassed about how much effort he’s put in to Mario Kart

Blue: Bowser. it’s the exact same story as Oracle: she’s here to fucking win. bUt she isn’t an absolute loser and so just quickly googles who the best is and goes with it. tragically, she’s horrible at video games and loses almost every single time.

Vio: King Boo. she is a huge fuckin nerd, but just not in the video game way. she has no damn clue who to choose, and ends up picking King Boo because ghosts are fun, and definitely not because Shadow mained King Boo. definitely not that at all—

Wind: Inkling Girl. this guy is pretty good at all games, with the single exception of racing games. so, when it comes to Mario Kart, he relies on the wisdom of his little sister, Aryll, who consistently mops the floor with him whenever they play. she mains Inkling Girl, and he hopes and prays that that’ll let him at least not come in at dead last.

Spirit: Dry Bowser and Princess Peach. yet another person who’s a complete and utter nerd. i’ve mentioned this before, but Spirit loves optimization. she’s an engineer, she’s gonna figure out the best combinations and she’s gonna figure them out fast. but, just like Prism, she’s actually nice and doesn’t want to straight up obliterate everyone she plays with, so Princess Peach. (ngl i was tempted to say Birdo again because trans rep but Spirit is such a Princess Peach girlie.)

Ages: Mario. while Ages is also a huge strategy guy, he’s not really a fan of competitive games. give him a pokémon game and he’ll do fantastic, but a racing game?? ehh…. truth be told, he mostly plays story driven games, so he’s very lost in a competitive setting. same story as Hero, really, lmao. they both go for the ole reliables.

Wild: Toad. she saw a little dude with a fat ass mushroom hat and immediately decided to main him. oh and he can also do a perfect impression of Toad. do not leave them and Minish in the same room together or else they will both lose their voices from talking like Toad for hours.

Champion: Wendy O. Koopa. this man(?) is an enigma, no one knows why. he probably doesn’t either.

Rhythm: Waluigi. he’s a middle school band kid for fuck’s sake, of course he’s gonna choose fucking Waluigi.

sorry for any and all typos and tense changes, and thank you again for this question Strawb <3 it’s very fun i had a blast answering it, even if i had to google a lot since i rarely ever play Mario Kart lmao