#i ONLY want songs i would find in those character mv's from 2013 and ONLY those

[balkanbitch]

I really hope the entire soundtrack of the Percy Jackson show is entirely made up from songs from the late 2000s to the early 2010s

[sanstropfremir]

pls do talk more about b*s and their current image (censoring because if you don’t have great things to say i don’t want you to be attacked by their crazy stans :))

i always bring this up when i talk about them but it’s really :( that they are the way they are now. like i was a fan because of their hyyh era and their songs about the troubled youth. and of course they can’t stay in that image forever (because we all grow up and it would just be v fake if they tried to continue it given their status and wealth now.) it’s just disappointing that they went down the ‘safe, disney image’ and are releasing generic mainstream pop songs people will forget after a couple listens. i’m no longer a fan of them now but yuh.

also not to mention how they essentially made kpop boring for me now lol i wish companies had fun with their music selections instead of aiming for whatever b*s has. like we will never get a group like orange caramel again (i know wjsn chocome’s concept was similar but it just didn’t feel the same. you talked about it before and i wholeheartedly agree with ur points.)

thank you for the consideration of censoring the name but honestly i'm not that worried about it. i do however find the increasingly creative ways people censor it to be extremely hilarious so keep it up if you would like.

i addressed most of the first part of your ask in the second part of my response here, this is now the third installment in a series, somehow. (the first part is here).

not to level this at you in specific anon, because i know a lot of people share this sentiment of kpop being 'boring' now, and while there is an element of this that is influenced by bts, and although it is true we aren't getting the same level of wild that produced orange caramel, there is actually interesting and kinda weird stuff happening in kpop; it's just not by the groups that are getting the most attention. dreamcatcher has been out here doing horror rock since their debut in 2017. onf has put out two excellent summer pop tracks with fun and stupid genre mvs. i love this recent ghost9 track. i'm obsessed with the instrumental in the chorus of bdc's moon walker. just b debuted last month with a strange bang yongguk track and a very 2013 feeling mv. here's another weird and fun boy group debut, blitzers. a.c.e have put out favourite boys, the fave boyz remix, down, and higher as their last four releases which all have the most coherent and well designed concepts in the last year. and while i'm at it i might as well include take me higher and undercover. oneus put out a mad max themed performance video randomly for no reason like three weeks ago. the rest of the industry were cowards for not following up on to be or not to be with a shakespeare comeback wave. rip onlyoneof but they gave us a whole three week comeback of dick grabs. hanya brought my attention to this weird as shit debut track from a group that has now totally disappeared. knk's sunset exists. we moved on way too fast from the mv because taeyang was being cunty on music shows but sf9's teardrop has probably some of the most interesting shots in a kpop mv in the last several years. and we definitely moved on too fast from my favourite just some guy and goofy movie character woodz's feel like.

i think it's pretty fatalistic to view bts as having singlehandedly made the industry boring because honestly......i don't think they have. if you want to talk about the downturn to plainclothes styling....well that's shinee's fault. and the general trend to less dramatic fashion and visual tastes is not exclusive to the kpop industry, it's been a whole cultural trend. the mid to late 2010s were the rise of 'normcore' and we haven't burst the bubble yet. bts is just reflecting trends happening in the wider world, and in particular the western one. for the most viewed kpop mv of 2020 dynamite did....what exactly? it didn't really spawn any significant copycats in terms of sound or aesthetics, with the exception of maybe superm's we do if you look at it a bit sideways. although this is one of bts' better styled mvs, 70s retro did not make any resurgence in kpop styling, EXCEPT in magazine and fashion shoots, which it was already doing in the west. taemin's criminal was significantly more influential; i can think of at least three different male soloist mvs that borrowed heavily from it. honestly i think stylists and groups are trying to steer as clear as possible of whatever aesthetics bts uses, lest they accidentally doom themselves to a (perceived) slighted fanbase. plus, there's been a pretty sizable resurgence in contemporary hanbok styling, so even though there is a lot more outward attention going to things like international promotions for other groups and whatever the hell sm keeps trying to do with nct, i think a fair amount of companies are interested in maintaining the koreanness of kpop while facilitating broader global access.

and honestly, bigger acts have also put out interesting things in the last year. we did all see taemin's back to back release roster for ngda right? criminal? idea???? advice???????? fuck, chocolate was barely a year ago. whatever your opinions on yunho are, thank u is fucking brilliant mv. sunmi's tail. lie to me and tell me the mv for you can't sit with us isn't fun as fuck. i dunno what the hell the new nct127 song is gonna be like but the teaser photos and mood sampler are weird as hell and i'm absolutely interested. he's only kpop adjacent at the moment but jackson's 100 ways and lmly are really sharply produced low budget mvs with clean and interesting visuals. maniac shot to the top of my most listened immediately after it dropped because lia kim AND those slick horns in the instrumental???? ten's paint me naked was not at all what i was expecting but it's still fun as hell and has a pretty unique aesthetic.

the tldr of this whole three parter is this: bts has always been reactionary to wider cultural trends and that's been how they've made it this far. yes their influence on the industry looms very large because of the predominence of them on the scene, but it's mostly in the perception of kpop rather than in the artistry of it.

i don't think any company is going to be able to achieve what bts and hybe have, which i think is fine. they're the scale tipped too far. hopefully by now most companies have probably noticed that they don't need to cater to the western market so hard, and that it's probably not a good idea to offer their artists up on the racist chopping block of the western pop scene. you can market to an international fanbase without trying to gun for a grammy or for billboard or whatever. creating interesting art should be at the fore, not numbers goals. but we're just gonna have to wait and see what happens in the next year or so.

[fmdsooaharchive]

CHO SOOAH — HEADCANON #4 (30 DAYS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT - IDOL EDITION)

SUMMARY: We ask ourselves why would you write more than 5.000 words in a single day for something that was supposed to go on for 30 days and we reach the conclusion that we needed the points and why not, am I right? While writing this I realized that Sooah doesn’t have many friends her age but also, she isn’t friends anyone in Gold Star besides her members so please befriend my kid. WC: 5.042 MENTIONS: way too many people to be honest. TW: Really bad writing because I did it when I was clearly sleepy.

+ Day One: Introduce your muse. Are they solo or in a group? What is their position in the group? Consider this day the day for writing the basics.

Cho Sooah is part of Gold Star Media’s five-member group, Fuse. She was added to the team in 2015, a few months after their official debut in 2014 as their rapper and vocal as well as becoming the new maknae of the team. 

+ Day Two: Talk about your muse’s childhood. Where did they grow up? Did they have any dream jobs besides being an idol? When did they realize they wanted to be an idol?

Sooah was born and raised in Seoul, South Korea. She had a pretty ideal childhood, she thinks. She was very lucky to have loving and supportive parents and very great older brothers who always looked out for her in their different ways. She was always connected to her family and that’s her grounding circle to this day. She’s very thankful to them for everything they did for her. While growing up, Sooah was always praised for her beauty and sweetness but she was usually taken advantage of and made fun of because of that. She had very little friends growing up but she didn’t mind that much because she had a pretty solid group that always supported her. Growing up, she wanted to become a stewardess and those were the plans until she was scouted by Gold Star. She never really realized she wanted to become an idol and even after she was signed under the company, she was still not sure about it. She became surer of it after she debuted and had a taste of how performing felt like.

+ Day Three: Take us back to when your muse was either recruited or auditioned to become an idol. How did that go? How did they feel getting up on stage for recruiters? If your muse could give their younger selves advice before the audition, what would they say?

Sooah is one of those people who go with their friends to an audition and end up being cast as well. She was accompanying Mia in her audition. She wanted to give her moral support and make sure everything would go as planned when one of the recruiters asked her to do something for them. Sooah was never really skillful. She couldn't sing or dance or act. But she’s pretty and that’s the main reason why they decided to sign with her. She was very nervous when she performed in front of them. She didn’t have anything prepared but a school song that they were supposed to perform in a festival soon and a guitar that she could barely play. 

Sooah would tell herself not to be so harsh because maybe they did hire her because of her looks but that doesn’t mean she was a complete talentless failure. She was always so gentle to others; she should learn to be gentler to herself too.

+ Day Four: Remember the trainee days? What are some of your muse’s memories of being a trainee? How long were they a trainee? Were they worried about potentially not making a debut? Talk about any challenges they might have encountered.

Sooah’s memories of trainee days are almost blurred together in a mess of constant practice and doubting herself. Those weren’t very happy times, she felt insecure and out of place because these more talented people were training with her and she was not sure of her abilities or if she even deserved to be there with these people. 

Sooah was a trainee for one year and four months, from November of 2013 to March of 2015 when was added to Fuse. Sooah always felt like she would never make it to a group and would eventually be kicked out by the company or be reassigned to a different department like modeling or acting. So, she had a constant fear of not making it to debut. 

+ Day Five: Recall your muse’s debut. What was the song they debuted with? How did it feel performing for the first time on stage as an idol? Feel free to bring up their thoughts about the concept, choreography, lyrics, music video, or other components. 

Sooah debuted with Fuse’s first EP and it was called ‘Ice Cream Cake’ from the album of the same name. She remembers quite vividly feeling very excited but also extremely terrified. She never performed in front of an audience before and the Fuse fans had made it pretty clear even before she made her first appearance that they weren’t fond of Gold Star’s strategy of adding a useless member to a group that was already perfect as four. But she was finally making it to debut and there was no hater in her life that would stop her from feeling ecstatic at this opportunity. 

Sooah liked ‘Ice Cream Cake’. Both the single and the album were nice. She thinks the MV was particularly aesthetically pleasing, her unnies looked stunning as always. She wasn’t certain about the ‘everyone will go blonde’ but the different tones made each of them stand out in different ways. At the time, she had never practiced choreography as much as she did for ‘Ice Cream Cake’. She went over and over this routine thousand times just to make sure she wouldn’t mess up. She was only sixteen at the time, so everything kind of overwhelmed her. 

+ Day Six: What concept does your muse think they can pull off best? Cutesy? Manly? Sexy? What concept do they have a hard time pulling off? What kind of concept would they want to do at some point?

Sooah can put off cutesy, happier concepts better than the more badass, girl crush ones and that has a lot to do with her looks more than with what she’s comfortable doing. She doesn’t mind their more happy and upbeat concepts just as she doesn’t mind when she has to do more serious stuff. ‘Peek-a-Boo’ remains as one of her favorite MV’s and songs to this day just as much as ‘Red Flavor’ and she thinks that’s nice because that’s the whole concept they were going for with Fuse. With how many weird concepts they’ve done in the past, Sooah thinks they can pull off pretty much anything at this point but she knows it’s very unlikely that Gold Star would invest in a concept similar to Lucid’s Nightmare trilogy. She would love to do something like that though.  

+ Day Seven: Which era is your muse’s favorite in their career? Why is it their favorite (think concept, promotions, choreography, etc.)? If your muse has recently debuted, talk about what they would want to do for their next comeback.

‘Russian Roulette’ is an era that she thinks many people end up forgetting and it’s not fair because it was pretty fun to promote. The storyline for the MV is not the lightest, of course, since they are trying to get the others to get badly injured but the scenarios were so colorful and full of life (ironic). The choreography was tricky, but all choreographies were tricky for Sooah. It was fun to learn though, and she had a lot of fun while learning it because it didn’t give her much of a headache and she quickly learned the movements. It was a very cute kind of concept that she remembers fondly. 

+ Day Eight: Talk about your muse’s strengths and weaknesses as an idol. Feel free to discuss their thoughts regarding these components. Think of qualities such as vocals, dancing, visuals, acting skills, and variety show skills, for example.

Sooah’s strengths as an idol are very reliant on her visuals and variety show skills, so everything that isn’t performative. Her looks were always something people praised her for even before auditioning to become a trainee. She was always very pretty and always had this soft look on her that works very well because it makes people feel at ease. It’s not the type of beauty that pushes people away but draws them in. 

She used to be very shy in variety shows but Sooah got much better at that as years went by. To be fair, she got a lot better over time, but her weaknesses are still singing, dancing, and rapping which is ironic since she’s an idol. The main problem there is her confidence, though. She doesn’t believe she’s good or capable and that uncertainty remains clear in the way she performs.

+ Day Nine: What is your muse’s fashion style? Talk about what kind of clothes they love to wear. To them, what is the essential thing to have in their closet? What is their favorite outfit?

It depends a lot on the season. During spring, Sooah will use very flowy and long skirts, with pastel colors, and be the princess of spring because that season fits her image incredibly well. During autumn, she’ll rely on more earth tones and long coats. Winter is the season she’ll just dress to not freeze, so everything comfy and warm, she’ll be using and summer, though not her favorite season, is the time in the year when she’ll allow herself to use short shorts and sleeveless shirts, maybe use more flannels and overalls. Sooah has a very consistent and good sense of fashion and she likes going shopping with friends. You’ll always find jean jackets in her wardrobe and she’ll try to fit them into some outfit she has to wear. Her favorite outfits are the more romantic ones though, so spring is the best time for that.

+ Day Ten: Talk about your muse’s three closest friends. How did they meet? How long have they known each other? What do they love most about their friends?

Yuanjun is one of her closest friends and someone she cherishes a lot because despite being a little different personality-wise, they get along well to form the infamous 99-line. She likes his company and appreciates that they could remain, friends, because there weren’t any scandals involving the two of them. Boys and girls can be friends in the end and she’s glad people learned that, in this case.

Mia is one of her long-time friends. She’s the reason why Sooah was scouted by Gold Star because Sooah was only accompanying Mia when she decided to audition. Their relationship was a little messy because Mia was always the talented one but she ended up not debuting while Sooah, who was always pretty useless managed to make her way into Fuse. Sooah always felt guilty but Mia is now making sure that she knows none of that was her fault and they are still in good terms. 

And last but not least, she would mention Minjung because despite not being the same age and being in the same team for work, Sooah still sees her as one of her closest friends and someone she can confide to. She was added to Fuse in 2015 and she was anxious because Minjung used to be their maknae and she was stealing the spot now but Minjung only proved to be very nice and sisterly to her and for that, she’ll be eternally thankful.

+ Day Eleven: Has your muse had any scandals? How have these scandals affected your muse as an idol or as a person? If your muse has not had any scandals, talk about their views on scandals. Is all publicity good publicity?

The only “scandal” of sorts Sooah was involved was when she was added to Fuse and some fans were not happy with Gold Star’s decision to add a pretty face to the team when they were perfect before. After that, Sooah lived pretty much like a saint, with no scandals and nothing that could tarnish Fuse’s or her image. It depends a lot on the scandal. Silly things as dating shouldn’t even be seen as scandals because idols are still humans but bullying scandals should surely be taken more seriously. And is bad to think that all publicity is good publicity because what kind of image they would want to build for the groups and company if they build their reputation around scandals. She’s not very fond of that idea.

+ Day Twelve: If your muse is in a group, what are the fun things about promoting with other members? What do they love about being in a group? What do they love about their members? If your muse is a solo artist, what are their thoughts on promoting alone? What do they love about being solo?

Sooah loves promoting with her members. She is very fond of them all and thinks she’s very lucky. She didn’t expect to be in a group where the members would be so supportive of her and look out for her the way her members do. It’s nice that the waiting rooms are never silent, there’s always someone talking and it’s noisy and because she grew up in a house full of people that is very comforting. She loves her members as a whole but also individually. She loves that Miyeon is like this force of nature that is amazing in pretty much everything but still has time to be supportive of Sooah. She loves that Suji was like a mother to her and took great care of her and made her feel comfortable in the group. She loves that Minjung is someone who likes to pamper her and is like a pretty sister she has now. They all feel like family to Sooah.

+ Day Thirteen: For the muses in a group, what are the challenges of being one of several people in a group? Have there been any troubles that have come along with being in a group environment and times they wish they were alone? For the solo artist muses, have you ever felt lonely promoting alone? Do you ever wish that you were in a group instead?

Sooah never hoped to be alone because she doesn’t think she can perform if she’s alone on the stage. Being in a group means that the public’s attention can deviate from a member to others and that’s only normal and it’s totally fine. There will be times she’ll feel like she did a good job but other members get more attention but Sooah thinks it’s only fair because she’s not exactly someone people will have their eyes set on for any reason in particular. She’s not the best singer, or dancer, or rapper. She knows people will look at her because she has great visuals though.

+ Day Fourteen: If your muse is in a group, how do you think they would have fared had they had a solo career instead? What kind of concept would they have? If your muse is a solo artist, how do you think they would have fared if they were in an idol group? What position of the group do you think they would have? 

Sooah would do very poorly as a solo artist. To be fair, she probably wouldn’t even be sent to be an idol and would be redirected to the modeling or acting department instead. But if they were silly enough to still debut her as a solo artist, they would go with something light and aesthetically pleasing to match with her visuals. The songs wouldn’t go to high places and everything vocal would be minimalistic. Think of Kriesha Chu or even SOLE or Younha and we’ll have Sooah as a solo artist. 

+ Day Fifteen: Who does your muse look up to in the industry? Why do they look up to this person?

Sooah looks up to everyone because she’s a sweetheart but if she had to pick three people she looks up to the most, those would be Lipstick’s Minah because she’s amazing in everything she does. She can sing, she can act, she can dance and she cooks amazing meals to Sooah. The perfect person who remained humble even after the success of her group. She wants to be like Minah when she grows up. She also looks up to Lux a lot and it’s not only because Lux helped her to write a song from scratch and promoted the song with her. She thinks Lux is an amazing artist and songwriter/composer and she wants to learn a lot from the older girl. On a similar note, there’s Joosung from Element. They worked together briefly during the BASE project and she saw him in this new light and thinks he’s a very talented and easy-going person. She aims to be a good producer like him in the future.

+ Day Sixteen: If your muse could do a special stage with another artist or idol group, who would it be and why? What song would they perform?

Sooah would love to work with the members of Lucid. Maybe Sooah and Alice, they are the same age and are already close because of the 99-line Sooah has going on. Since they have similar positions in their respective groups and because Alice is a great dancer, they could have a special stage singing to one of the classics of K-pop. Maybe a BoA song. If given a proper heads-up maybe she can even compose and write a song for them.

+ Day Seventeen: How would your muse fare in a variety show? If your muse could appear on any variety show, which variety would it be and why? If you don’t have a lot of knowledge of variety shows, talk about what kind of variety show they would go on.

It depends a lot on the variety show. If it’s something like DoReMi Market or Knowing Bros, she’ll do fairly well because she feels comfortable, it’s just them there having a talk and telling stories, sometimes playing some games. If it’s a show like Running Man or Law of the Jungle where she’ll have to actively show surviving skills or running and jumping, that makes her more anxious because she’s just not good at that kind of stuff. 

+ Day Eighteen: What entertainment agency is your muse a part of? What do they think of other groups and artists that are in the same agency as them? Which labelmates do they get along with the most, excluding group members?

Sooah is part of Gold Star Media. She thinks people in her agency are dope even if the company itself makes some questionable decisions sometimes. But every single one of their artists, Sooah likes and listens to their songs. From their soloists to the co-ed group they have. Gold Star releases really good songs, she thinks and she’s very musically oriented and the company offers her the kind of support she would need to thrive in that area. She’s not particularly close to anyone in her company, except her members, though.

+ Day Nineteen: Is there anything besides idol activities that your muse would want to do? Would they want to take their hand at hosting a variety show or act in a television show or drama? Would they want to try out modeling or a musical? If they have done things such as these, talk about their thoughts toward these things.

Sooah thrives in the modeling route and that’s the most obvious path for her because of her unapparelled young visuals. That’s something she would want to do especially because it’s very easy for her and it’s also fun but to be honest, she would like to try her hand in variety shows more now that Fuse already has an established image.

+ Day Twenty: If your muse was able to be a part of a supergroup that comprised of current idols, who would they want to be in the same group, and why? What kind of concept would this group have? How do you think the group would do in terms of popularity?

If Sooah was to pick members for a supergroup, she would struggle a lot because many others are better qualified. But she would pick Lipstick’s Hyeju, Lucid’s Hyoyeon and Jeonghwa and WISH’s Sophie, besides herself. All of them are skilled and have the visuals Sooah would want to see in a group, besides being charismatic so she thinks they would do well together? Because they would look very powerful, they would probably invest in a more powerful, girl crush concept, like the ones in Femme Fatale. And since they have big names in the industry, they would also do fairly okay, popularity-wise.

+ Day Twenty-One: How does your muse feel about their fans? How do they feel about sasaeng fans? How would they handle a situation in which they were faced with obsessive fans that followed them or invaded their privacy? If they’ve had problems with sasaeng fans before, how did they feel about it?

She’s appreciative of her fans and she’s extremely glad that they are kind to her and her members too. She’s grateful that they kind of protect her from OT4 stans and that warms her heart a lot. She doesn’t know what she should do with sasaeng fans though. She’s scared of them, more than anything. She’s scared of which boundaries they might break to get her attention and she fears there’ll be a day they’ll end up hurting someone to get to her. She would try to communicate her thoughts and ask them to leave, even though she knows that probably wouldn’t work out. She would just be scared and ask her manager to help her with it.

+ Day Twenty-Two: Talk about your muse’s goals that they have for their group or themselves if they are a solo artist. Where would they want to promote if given the chance? Do they want to do a solo album at one point? This can be any sort of professional goal.

There isn’t much she can think of because she’s good at following the flow and doing as she’s told. Fuse reached a point where things are comfortable and their name is established. She wants the other members to be able to have separate careers and still be successful with the things they want to do so maybe that means they’ll have to be more recognizable not only internationally but also locally. She never visited Central or South America and she would love to visit the countries in these regions sometime in the future to promote.

+ Day Twenty-Three: What are your muse’s thoughts on being an idol and dating? Are they against dating? Have they ever been in a relationship after debuting? If so, talk about the challenges that have come along with dating. If they aren’t dating, would they want to date?

She understands why some people are against it. She doesn’t agree with their thoughts. She thinks that they are young and they are surrounded by beautiful people all the time and at some point, is only natural to feel attraction towards someone. And as healthy, young people, they should be allowed to have normal experiences such as dating. Sooah was never in a relationship before or after debut. She was way too young when she became a trainee and she was way too focused on not messing up and practicing after she debuted. And of course, she would love to date someone if she feels it’s the right person.

+ Day Twenty-Four: Who is your muse’s ideal type? Why is this person their ideal type? 

She has been saying since debut that she finds Lee Dong Wook very attractive and nominated him as her idol type since 2015. She never talked to Lee Dong Wook personally so she can’t talk about anything but his good looks. The sharp jaw and the kind of eyes are what draws her to this kind of aesthetic and she’ll be the first to admit that people like him don’t look like they smile a lot but there’s a certain satisfaction in getting a smile from them and the possibility makes her heart flutter. She has to be able to rely on the person and feel comfortable being around them. They also have to know how to properly cook, otherwise, they’ll rely on take-out for a long while.

+ Day Twenty-Five: What does your muse want to be remembered for in the idol world? Do they want to be remembered for their vocal prowess? Their image? Their dancing skills? Their scandals?

Sooah wants to be remembered as someone who improved over the years and became great in the end. She won’t stand out in any meaningful way. She’ll never be the greatest singer or the best dancer or someone remembered because of her little rap lines in Fuse’s songs. She does expect people to have the image of someone who came from the bottom and still managed to become someone great and who learned and improved a lot. Someone who never really stagnated and worked on herself to become a better artist. 

+ Day Twenty-Six: Does your muse ever regret becoming an idol? Do they ever think about what they would be doing instead if they lived a normal life? If they could go back in time, would they do everything all over again? Or would they end up doing something else?

She remembers regretting becoming an idol when she went back home after living with her members in the dorms. She was moving back home so she could spend some more time with her parents and she remembers seeing them after a long while and thinking, “they have aged”. There were wrinkles around her father’s eyes and her mother was slouching a little bit more and she remembers feeling very sad because she barely spent time with them in the last 4 years or so. She never thought she would have a normal life, to begin with. She dreamed of big adventures and in a way or another, this is a big adventure and she tries not to regret things or think how things would have turned out. She doesn’t think she would trade her life now for a “normal” life mainly because she can’t imagine herself not having the people, she has in her life now.

+ Day Twenty-Seven: After working hard on promotions, your muse is given the chance to take a two-week vacation anywhere in the world at any time they want, with nobody bothering them. Where would they go and when? Why would they want to take their vacation there? If they had the opportunity to bring three other people, who would they bring?

She always wanted to visit Machu-Pichu so maybe she would go there and hike her way up the mountains. She remembers seeing a documentary when she was younger and that became her plan with her mom that one day they would go to Peru and see the clouds from up there. She still didn’t have the time to do that with her. She would take her mom and her two older siblings with her. Dad is not very fond of that because he has back problems so he would have two weeks of freedom at home on his own. 

+ Day Twenty-Eight: Talk about your muse’s low point in life. Why was this a low point in their life? What kind of challenges did they face and how did they feel about this? Were they able to overcome it? If it is still ongoing, are they working on overcoming these challenges? 

During the trainee years, Sooah’s self-esteem hit a really low level. She was self-doubting a lot at the time and thinking she wasn’t enough and that she wouldn’t be able to ever get better regarding her skills. She was surrounded by incredibly talented people but there she was, not being remotely good in what she was supposed to do. Sooah thinks she’ll never get completely rid of this kind of thoughts, mainly because she knows she has a long way to go but things now are much better and because she has so many supportive figures in her life, she can rely on them more and not suffer on her own anymore.

+ Day Twenty-Nine: Talk about your muse’s most meaningful moment as an idol. This is what they feel so far is the highest point in their life and where they’ve never been happier. Recall the memory and describe it; what happened and how did they feel? 

Sooah remembers the moment of their first concert with a lot of fondness. They have been practicing for months at the time and Sooah was so nervous because it would be their first time doing a concert only with their fans and she didn’t want to mess things up. The moment they were waiting backstage to be okayed to go up and perform, she had a million thoughts in her head that slowly started dissipating as they sang and danced. She remembers feeling very warm in her heart when they had their first break and as they introduced themselves, she would hear the screams of the fans. When her turn came up and she heard their screams of support, Sooah laughed and her eyes teared a bit even. She was never so happy to perform like she was with the ‘Red Room’.

+ Day Thirty: Think about your muse’s life down the road. Where would they be and what would they be doing? Would they still be in the entertainment industry? Would they settle down and have a family?

When Fuse eventually disbands, Sooah will probably not get involved with music. At least she won’t be releasing songs for herself to sing. She’ll be more than happy to remain active as a lyricist/composer/producer and that’s her priority. Maybe invest more in her career as a model and start putting her visuals to good use, too. But she doesn’t exactly see herself wanting to be the center of attention like it happened in Fuse. She wants to slowly show her process of retirement, pretty much like Hyori wanted to do once in past. She sees herself settling down to have a family. She also sees herself traveling around the world and enjoying life differently too.

[obsessedwithbbandsuju]

Kwon Jiyong/Son Taeyeon Information

This is a collection of all the information of my OFC Son Taeyeon’s timeline and relationship with G-Dragon. It’s still under construction and will probably be for a long time, but I just wanted to get it out there. 

Disclaimer: This is nothing more than a form of fun self-indulgence. Whoever GD is with or will be with, I cheer their relationship on always and hope he can find happiness with someone. He really does deserve it.

Note: All of the ages in this timeline are in South-Korean reckoning, which generally means the people are one year older than they would be in western reckoning

Last Updated: 6/14/20

Summary

Jiyong and Taeyeon meet in Seoul, South Korea, when Jiyong is ten and Taeyeon is five, due to the fact that their fathers were close in high school and college

Their fathers spent a lot of time together catching up, so Taeyeon and Jiyong became fairly close too — as close as a five-year-old and ten-year-old can get

Shortly after the birth of Taeyeon’s younger brother, Son Taeyong, Taeyeon’s mother dies; Taeyeon and her father and brother move away to the United States, and Taeyeon and Jiyong lose contact

In 2004, when Taeyeon is twelve and Jiyong seventeen, Taeyeon is accepted into YG Entertainment and they meet again

At first, they’re both awkward, but it doesn’t take long for them to become close again, helped by the fact that they both love songwriting and composing

The two of them are friends from then on, becoming increasingly closer

They occasionally go on variety shows together, and many people comment and note that they seem very close

Taeyeon features in the 2009 MV of a side track in Jiyong’s first solo Heartbreaker album, called She’s Gone, as the subject of GD’s character’s obsession

In 2010, Taeyeon features in the MV of a side track on GD & TOP’s first subunit album GD & TOP, again as the subject of Jiyong’s character’s obsession

In 2011, they both realize they’re developing romantic feelings for the other

Taeyeon and Jiyong spend a few months wondering if their feelings for each other are mutual

Both of them are perceptive people and catch the other’s subtle change in attitude toward themselves

Eventually, later in the same year (2011), Jiyong confesses to Taeyeon and she accepts; they begin dating 

The dating is discreet, however, as they’re both afraid of being caught by the media; it could be detrimental to their careers which have been extremely successful insofar, and both of them value their privacy

In the meantime, Taeyeon and Jiyong appeared on a few variety shows together, causing comments here and there about their chemistry

In 2012, YG debuts a unit group composed of the two of them, called Arcana

After their debut as a subunit, dating rumors about the two of them explode and are only exacerbated by their constant companionship while promoting the unit as well as the intimate choreography and lyrics of their first song

Nothing is confirmed, however, and Jiyong and Taeyeon continue their relationship privately, without revealing anything to the public

In late 2012, however, their relationship begins to take a turn; both of them are beginning to develop depression as a result of the constant stresses placed on them as the leaders of their extremely successful groups and the burden of managing their own careers, all since a very young age

Feeding the depression, both Jiyong and Taeyeon begin to feel distant and different from other people because of the extreme responsibilities and the sheer amount of expectations that the public and the people around them have placed on their shoulders since they were young

Because of these issues and their uncertainty and practical inability to handle them, they begin to close off and distance themselves from each other because they’re afraid of the other person seeing what they’re going through

Unfortunately, at the same time, both of them pretend that nothing is wrong; even when they appeared on variety shows together occasionally, they ignored and hid the tension between them

Eventually, in 2013, Taeyeon and Jiyong discuss the waning state of their relationship and decide to break up cleanly; it’s not a messy breakup, but a very bitter one

At first, they’re awkward all over again with each other, but eventually, they manage to come to a consensus and regain their friendship

They continue for a long time as friends, becoming even closer and more comfortable with each other over the years than they were before they dated 

As they bond, they see a lot of themselves in each other, and eventually find themselves considering the other to be the person who understands them the best, resulting in the only partially joking nickname that they call each other by: “my soulmate”

As a result of understanding each other more, Jiyong and Taeyeon come to realize that they never really fell out of love with the other, and the reason for their split when they were younger was more because they were too insecure and unstable to feel confident in maintaining a relationship with each other

Both of them deeply regret not trying harder to stay together, knowing that the other person made them happy and maybe, if they had just pushed through, things would have been alright

Despite the realization and the regret, neither Jiyong nor Taeyeon make any moves, not sure if the other feels the same way — although they’re still perceptive, even moreso, and they suspect that the feelings are mutual

In mid-2017, the two of them have a huge fight about their past relationship and barely speak to each other afterwards

For about a month, they avoid each other, but then Taeyeon suggests they meet up and they make up, albeit still feeling shaky with each other because of the magnitude of their fight

Both of them can feel more distance re-opening between them

On February 27th, 2018, Jiyong enlists in the military

During his absence, the two of them find themselves acutely missing each other and the place they had in each other’s hearts; both of them describe it as a feeling of having a hole inside them

This feeling of emptiness confirms to both of them what they’ve been almost certain of since they became close again after their breakup: they see the other as the one person in the world who understands them exactly

After Jiyong was discharged from the military, the two of them reunite, apologize again, and make up with each other properly

For a long time, neither says anything about their feelings for each other, despite knowing that they still love the other person and suspecting that the other person feels the same

They can’t bring themselves to express their feelings honestly because they’re afraid that they’ve come too far and would only hurt each other again if they tried to move past being friends in their current states (their depression and the alienation they both feel from other people thanks to shouldering so many expectations and so much responsibility at such a young age)

Eventually, though, they slip up and it ends with both of them admitting to each other that their split many years ago was because they were at such low points in their life that they didn’t feel like they could give the other person the proper relationship and love that they deserved

However, they still refrain from becoming romantic again, still caught up in the fear that getting back together would only hurt for everyone involved and might end messily, cutting them off for good

For years after that, they continue as they always were until Jiyong decides that he’s had enough

He tells Taeyeon upfront that he intends to start putting effort into rekindling a romantic relationship between them

At first, Taeyeon rejects his efforts, still afraid that they’d hurt each other more if they tried for something beyond friendship

Jiyong is consistent and stable in his efforts, coaxing her and reassuring her; with time, Taeyeon realizes that she wants something more with him, too

She finally accepts, and they enter a romantic relationship once again — one that’s much more stable and natural than what they had years ago

They reveal steadily to the public that they’re dating, similarly to Taeyang and Min Hyorin; naturally, the relationship is met with hate from some, but many people, especially their fans, support it after seeing Taeyeon and Jiyong so frequently together for so long and knowing how close they are

Both of them come to see how comfortable and happy they are with each other, and how their long friendship serves as a solid foundation for their romantic relationship because of how completely they know and understand each other

They have their ups and downs like any normal couple, but their maturity, experiences, and emotional intimacy even before starting to date again prevent them from growing apart like they did when they were younger

After years of dating, both of them start seriously considering proposing to each other; not quite as immediate marriage, but as a promise for the future

Eventually, Jiyong makes the first move and asks Taeyeon to marry him

It’s a simple proposal — they’re laying in bed together in Jiyong’s apartment, both of them exhausted after a day full of schedules, and Jiyong asks on impulse if she would spend the rest of her life with him 

Taeyeon accepts without hesitation, and they become engaged

For four years, they stay comfortably engaged, not in a rush to get married and willing to wait until they both feel ready 

After those four years, they mutually agree that they’re prepared to get married

They get married in a wedding venue a month later; it’s a small and private affair, since both of them agree that they prefer the intimacy, and they also want to avoid all the reporters and the media

Both of them keep their separate apartments even after they’re married since they live just one floor apart, but often spend time together at either one, depending on their mood

Songs from Taeyeon to Jiyong

A list of songs that Taeyeon wrote, composed, and produced with inspiration from her relationship with Jiyong

Heroine: Written a few months after Taeyeon and Jiyong broke up the first time, with Taeyeon expressing that no matter what hurts Jiyong caused her, both she and he need to go on

Stay: Written a few months after Taeyeon and Jiyong broke up the first time, expressing how, as they began to become distance from each other, Taeyeon could sense their relationship crumbling, but she wanted him to stay with her regardless

Rain: Written a few years after Taeyeon and Jiyong broke up the first time, talking about how their relationship is still something she muses about 

11:11: Written a few years after Taeyeon and Jiyong broke up the first time, talking about how, despite telling herself everything will get better eventually, memories of Jiyong and their past relationship still hurt her

Breathe (written, composed, and produced jointly by Taeyeon and Jiyong): Written a few years after Taeyeon and Jiyong broke up for the first time, talking about how their first breakup happened because they were at such bad places at the time; Taeyeon and Jiyong realized for sure that the other felt the same about them while writing this song together

Secret: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, talking about how being with him helps soothe her negative feelings

Drawing Our Moments: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, talking about what their time together means to Taeyeon

Gravity: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, talking about how their relationship keeps her grounded

Better Babe: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, talking about how Jiyong makes Taeyeon feel better

Love You Like Crazy: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, talking about how she needs him

Only One: Written after Taeyeon and Jiyong revealed their dating, describing how their mutual trust in each other gives them strength

Songs from Jiyong to Taeyeon

Bad Boy: Written during the period of difficulty during Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first relationship, expressing Jiyong’s apologetic feelings about feeling that he isn’t treating Taeyeon right, while still wanting her to stay with him

Blue: Written during the period of difficulty during Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first relationship, talking about the emptiness and pointlessness that Jiyong feels watching their relationship breaking down

Crooked: Written soon after after Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first breakup, expressing Jiyong’s resentful and angry feelings at how their relationship fell apart

If You: Written a few years after Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first breakup, expressing Jiyong’s regrets about their failed relationship and how he wishes they could try again

Let’s Not Fall In Love: Written a few years after Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first breakup, expressing how tentative Jiyong felt with their relationship back then, wanting to love Taeyeon but being afraid of getting in too deep, lest they hurt each other

Untitled, 2014: Written a few years after Jiyong and Taeyeon’s first breakup, inspired by the giant fight they had in mid-2017 that threatened their friendship until after Jiyong came back from the military, expressing how sorry Jiyong was for continuously hurting Taeyeon and how much he wished they could love each other like they did before they broke up

Quotes

Jiyong-oppa shuffled inside her apartment, his dark brown eyes dull with… well, dullness. Taeyeon knew that feeling – she was going through it right now. Not being tired exactly, but at the same time more tired than words could ever express. Not exhausted enough to fall asleep, but somehow much too exhausted to fall asleep. A feeling that felt like nothing – a feeling that came when you were just too done to bother with feelings. ‘Emptiness’ was the closest she could get to describing it in one word, but even that wasn’t quite right. Maybe emptiness if emptiness could be something physical, weighing you down inside, sapping any ounce of motivation you could find in yourself.

—Taeyeon, reflecting on the similar emotions between herself and Jiyong (from Not Quite)

It had all just… hurt. It had all just hurt so much that they decided to let each other go. He had been wandering aimlessly, so confused and so dissatisfied with everything and everyone that he gave up. On himself. On her. On them.

And now, he regretted it. Thinking of it now, they were happy together. Maybe they weren’t happy with themselves, not totally, but they had been happy with each other.

If only he had recognized that back then. If only he had decided to fight for the two of them.

—Jiyong muses about his past relationship with Taeyeon (from Too Late for Regrets)

“For me, it’s you.”

—Taeyeon

“It’s a relief that I have you.”

—Jiyong

“I don’t think I can let you go.”

—Jiyong to Taeyeon, when he expresses his desire to re-enter a romantic relationship with her

“I’m afraid. If we get this wrong again, it could be the end for us.”

“There’s no right and wrong. There’s only us.”

—Jiyong and Taeyeon, right before they agree to try again in a romantic relationship 

“Would you spend the rest of your life with me if you could?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you?”

—Jiyong proposes to Taeyeon

_______________________________

Credits:

Gravity, Better Babe, Rain, Secret, Love You Like Crazy, and Drawing Our Moments are songs by Taeyeon of SNSD; Heroine is a song by Sunmi; Breathe is a song of S.M. The Ballad, sung by Taeyeon of SNSD and Jonghyun of SHINee, Only One is sung by SNSD

[behind-the-screen-of-bangtan]

References, parallels with non-BU elements... in the BU

As it would be extremely long and complex to connect the BU elements with each other, due to the impressive amount of links that exist, I decided to cheat and to consider anything but that~

References to exterior works in the BU

The first cultural reference in the story is to Demian and made by Namjoon in his 17 December Year 21 from the book (p. 56):

I once heard a saying that God makes us lonely to lead us to Him.

It’s to be noted Demian was the main inspiration for WINGS. This reference, for example, is actually literary read by RM in the intro to the WINGS Short Film #4 FIRST LOVE:

There are numerous ways in which God can make us lonely and lead us back to ourselves. This was the way He dealt with me at that time.

The chapter “The Things with Wings” (p. 87) is a reference to Emily Dickinson’s Hope is the thing with feathers.

In the 15 August Year 22 Note from 화양연화 The Notes 1, Seokjin finds a citation from The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm in the diary lost by the girl (only the parts in bold are in the book):

Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one "object" of love. If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism. Yet, most people believe that love is constituted by the object, not by the faculty. In fact, they even believe that it is a proof of the intensity of their love when they do not love anybody except the "loved" person. This is the same fallacy which we have already mentioned above. Because one does not see that love is an activity, a power of the soul, one believes that all that is necessary to find is the right object—and that everything goes by itself afterward. This attitude can be compared to that of a man who wants to paint but who, instead of learning the art, claims that he has just to wait for the right object, and that he will paint beautifully when he finds it. If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world, I love life. If I can say to somebody else, "I love you," I must be able to say, "I love in you everybody, I love through you the world, I love in you also myself."

The Art of Loving was an inspiration for the Love Yourself series.

The Raft of the Medusa, painted by Gericault in the 19th century is described in the 4 June Year 22 Note from 화양연화 The Notes in Map of the Soul Persona and it can be seen in the concept art teaser for the video game. @Lyna91Fr made a complete thread about the painting here.

Parallels between BU and non-BU elements

In the 28 May Year 19 Note from Love Yourself 結 Answer, Jungkook asks his hyungs what’s their dream, a reference to “No More Dream” lyrics, which is the first song BTS released on June 11 in 2013:

Hey you what’s your dream Hey you what’s your dream Hey you what’s your dream Is that all your dream is

The events that occurred between the 15 May Year 20 and 25 February Year 21 fit relatively well with the solo scenes in “Danger” MV:

Namjoon writing and crumpling a paper (15 May Year 20)

Taehyung’s scene in “Danger” appears in STIGMA and the 07 June Year 20 Note from Persona has a Note about a white puppy, just like in STIGMA again

Yoongi throwing either a piano key or a basketball (25 June Year 20)

Jungkook getting frustrated with playing the piano because he can’t replicate Yoongi’s music (25 June Year 20)

Seokjin revealing their hideout to the director and thus destroying it like the chair he burns in the MV (happened on the 15 June but revealed in the 17 July Year 20 Note)

Jimin fighting his fears and trauma (28 September Year 20)

Hoseok dancing alone (25 February Year 21)

(Yes I’m over-interpreting)

The Notes from Tear between the 2 May and 20 May YEAR 22 have the boys interacting by pairs and those pair are the same as in WINGS:

Jungkook is at Namjoon’s

Jimin is accompanied by Yoongi to go back to the arboretum

Taehyung is picked up by Hoseok at the police station. And later Hoseok goes to Taehyung’s house after this one nearly killed his father

In The Wings Tour, there’s a VCR during which Suga plays an unknown tune on the piano. It could be “Hope”, the song he works on in the book.

General connections between BU sources

At the end of the Save Me webcomic, starting episode 13, all the boys have the same outfit as in “I NEED U” MV. Actually, the webcomic and the MV have a lot of similar events, the webcomic could be seen as a development of the MV.

“I NEED U” and 화양연화 Pt.0 <Save Me> connect with 화양연화 On Stage: Prologue through the scene where Taehyung is covered in blood (referencing the murder scene from “I NEED U” and Save Me) and the fact the boys mentioned in the making-of video that the prologue is an extension from “I NEED U”. Note that for the prologue to happen, Namjoon has to answer Taehyung’s phone call - it doesn’t happen in Save Me. This case is maybe referenced in WINGS Short Film #5 - REFLECTION when Namjoon can’t enter the chained phonebooth.

Seokjin’s Note from the 2 May YEAR 22 in The Notes 1 has a fight between Yoongi and Jungkook, like “RUN”. Both sources also include Hoseok and Jimin at the hospital, with Hoseok “rushing” Jimin to leave the place. The party in the MV could be the party the boys have to celebrate Jimin escaping the hospital (like in episode 13 of Save Me and in Euphoria). Jimin finishing in a bathtub also reminds of his trauma and of episode 12 of Save Me. Hard to tell where the parts with the boys wearing the “Je Ne Regrette Rien” concept outfits go though.

The Love Yourself posters and the Highlight Reel have some common points: Jungkook in a wheelchair/in the hospital and with a little bunch of flowers, Namjoon in a bus, Hoseok and Jimin at the dance studio, Jimin with an umbrella, and Seokjin with a bunch of smeraldo flowers. The Highlight Reel video also has the same ending as the Notes from Tear: Seokjin’s girl is hit by a vehicle.

The Notes from Tear in May YEAR 22 have the same pairs as WINGS: Yoongi with Jimin, Hoseok with Taehyung, Namjoon with Jungkook.

In The Notes 1, Taehyung’s Note from the 22 May YEAR 22 reveals that Seokjin is the one climbing the scaffolding, like the end of Euphoria.

The Smeraldo posts from 2017 fit with the Notes from Her and Tear. The posts from 2018 fit with Answer. Tear has a storyline similar to the Smeraldo myth. A man made the impossible for the love of a girl but he ended up alone and denatured. Seokjin’s story during July and August YEAR 22 is similar to Testesso’s story. Both search for the smeraldo flower for a girl.

The fireworks festival from the 30 August, added to the fact Namjoon was in his container, fit with the WINGS Short Film #5 - REFLECTION.

The game teaser fits with Taehyung’s 11 April YEAR 22 Note from the book. It’s actually the last Note of the book.

                                             ____________________

The real difficulty with these connections is to know whether the events are part of the same timeline or if they’re different occurrences of the same event in different timelines.

[footballwritersprofile-blog]

Football Fic Writer Profile - Utami (thebluesideofmyworld)

Hello lovely people! We hope that you all are having a great week so far. We meet again in another article, featuring one of the fic writers from the football fandom.

Have we told you before that we felt like there are so many fic writers who were born on February? Here’s another one who was also born on February. On February 14, to be exact.

People, please welcome Utami. And yes, people. It’s her birthday today!

Happy birthday, Utami!

You can find her on her Tumblr ( @thebluesideofmyworld )  where she posts her M/F fics, or you can also go to her AO3 account where she posts her slash fics.

Now let’s refresh our memories about her writing by reading an excerpt from one of her fics

She curled up on her couch, staring at the TV without really looking at it. It was one of her favorite TV shows, yet she could not seem to get excited about it anymore.

Her phone went off. Mats name flashed on the screen. She stared at it for a while, the ringtone sounded so loud, too loud in the living room.

After a while the phone went silent again.

She stared at her phone, thinking that maybe Mats would just be like the other people. Those people who would leave her anyway at the end.

(People always left her anyway. No one wanted to stay with her anyway.)

(Can You Hold Me)

Utami is originally from Indonesia, but she has been in the US since 2013 to do a postgrad degree in Environmental Engineering. She is currently having a massive crush on Asa Taccone, the vocalist from Electric Guest, and spends her times listening to songs from Troye Sivan and Fall Out Boy while waiting for Voltron S05 to be released. She is a supporter of Manchester City and Real Madrid. Those of you who might have checked her blog out would not be surprised to find that her favorite player is David Silva.

She started writing by writing her thoughts in a diary since she was 8 years old, because she said that it had always been easier for her to express what she felt by writing it. In late 2009, she found a fansite for a talent show in her country where she found some fanfics posted there. Out of curiosity, she tried to post the first chapter of a fic there. She ended up writing more and more for that fandom. She said that even though the fandom faded out slowly after the talent show ended, she would still remember it as her first experience in writing fics.

Writing is something that she enjoys because she said that it’s really a good way for her to express herself. She has always had a wild imagination since she was a kid, probably because she loved reading so much. She often has imaginary scenes and conversations in her head, and writing them out is something she find to be soothing. “Lately, I also try to remember what my therapist once told me, that I should see writing as a self-care method and coping mechanism for me, as I feel through writing, I can be a better version of myself.”

Even though she has been watching football ever since she was a kid, the first time she encountered football fics was in 2012. She read the fics and started wondering whether she could also do one. In December 2012, she decided to give it a try, and her first football fic was about David Silva with an OFC. “I cringed whenever I read it,” she said. “I changed the POV every 2 paragraphs, the dialogue was unnatural, and the description was so so bland.” However, she said that it was her fic that was written in English so she felt like it’s something that she should be proud of.

Besides one-shot, she also used to do requests where she would write 100-word drabble based on a song requested by someone. “I love the challenge of trying to understand the meaning behind the songs, then put it into a limited number of words,” she said. Since 2015, she also started writing slash fics. She personally found that it had a different kind of challenge. “In slash fics, the pairing usually already had some sort of chemistry that’s shown through their interactions in real life. So the real challenge is how to put those chemistry into words.” Besides the football fandom, since last year, she has also written for the riordanverse fandom. For this fandom then, she said that there is another kind of challenge, which was how put the characters into her story and head-canon without making them OOC.

Her inspirations mainly come from songs, and music videos. Whenever she found a song that she liked, she would look up the meaning of that song and try to analyze each line of the song. “I love MVs that have some sort of story line,” she said. “Some of my fics for the riordanverse fandom were inspired by MVs, like Wildfire from Seafret, and First Time He Kissed a Boy by Kadie Elder.”

Once she gets an idea for a fic, she will jot down some things that she thought would be essential in the fic in her journal. Music is a big must whenever she writes a fic, along with a cup of coffee. One of her strategies in writing is by making herself write at least 500 words every day. She finds it to be quite effective, especially when she is working on a multi-chaptered fic.

While she really enjoys writing fluff, she said that she can’t write some angst. According to her, real life is already hard enough, so she doesn’t want to put more sadness into something that supposed to be an escape. She particularly loves AU fics. “It takes quite a lot of imagination to put the characters into a whole different set of universe, yet you still have to write them as who they really are canonically. I enjoy both reading it and writing it.” When it comes to the kind of AU that she likes, she said that she is a sucker for Soulmate!AU fic and Coffee Shop AU (Well, considering that she drinks at least 4 cups of coffee a day, we was not really surprised about this).  She also mentioned that one of her favorite tropes is Fake Dating. She told us that one of her fics that she’s most proud of is The Thin Line. “It’s about  David/Joe which is one of my favorite pairings, it’s an AU fic, and it’s a fake dating one. And somehow I managed to squeeze in Fernando Torres to give a shovel talk in the fic.” Here’s an excerpt of that fic:

David looked up at Joe and his eyes were wide and warm. But the look in those caramel eyes were a mix of longing and sincerity and something vulnerable. Joe absently thought whether it was the same kind of look that David found in his eyes. Joe cupped David’s cheek with one hand, gently ran the pad of his thumb over David’s jaw. They were still swaying along with the music but their feet moved slower and slower, like the way the final notes of a symphony faded away before it ended. He slowly leaned forward and everything was starting to blur into slow motion. Joe could see each and every single one of David’s lashes. A little part of his mind realized that at some point they had stopped moving but at the moment Joe also felt like they were inside an invisible bubble, mist and cloud around them. Joe stopped moving right when the tip of his nose touched David’s. David’s breathing was warmly ghosting, almost like teasing, against his skin.

David’s eyes fluttered closed and his hands slid up Joe’s neck, threading his fingers between Joe’s curls. Joe closed his eyes but behind his eyelids he saw the cherry red of David’s cheeks, the rosy red of David’s lips.

In her writing, some of the lines can come in such a lyrical, almost poetical way, even when she was only using simple words. For example, let’s have a look at an excerpt from one of her fics here:

They were close enough that their shoulders sometimes brush each other. But the silence between them stretched like an unbearable distance.

They were so close, Marco could reach out for her hand to hold it.

He didn’t.

(He knew he wouldn’t be able to let it go had he done it)

She never asked him to stay anyway. So Marco left.

(That night Marco dreamt about winning the Champions League with Real Madrid. He won the cup and brought the cup home with him. The home was big and beautiful but it was empty. Marco hated the dream)

(Dream)

Utami said that one of her biggest insecurities in writing is her English. She said that she always finds her grammar is all over the place, especially when it comes to tenses. She also admitted that she felt her vocabulary is really limited, and she often scared whether she’s using the right word with the right context. “But I guess, one of the ways that I can do to improve is by reading even more and just keep on writing,” she said.

At the moment, she is working on two fics for the riordanverse fandom, in which one of them is a Musician!AU. She also mentioned that she has started a Creative Writing challenge last year, and she is considering to continue the challenge this year for the football fics.

We asked her for one tips she would like to share with us, and this is what she gave us.

The best way to improve in writing is just by doing it. It would be much better if you like, really write something, anything, other than just keep on saying that you want to write. Start small. Having 100 words scribbled on a piece of paper is still much better than nothing.

Well people, it has been a great pleasure to know more about Utami. And we hope that you also enjoy it as much as we do!

And as always. Let’s close this with another excerpt from one of her works, that she claimed to be one of the fics that was really dear to her

“So,” James said as they both standing on the pavement. “Well… It was… Nice…” he said, turning his head to look at David.

“Uh. Yeah,” David said, nervously smiled back at James.

His heartbeat started racing like crazy.

Thump thump thump.

He couldn’t do this. He shouldn’t do this. It was barely two weeks ago he had his heart broken. He was not ready for this.

(What was this, anyway?)

( The Color of the Sky)