#i Needed to bitch abt them today bc i was meant to be speaking for them today

[sickly-sapphic]

apparently "include intersex people" is too high a standard for a lot of the queer community, but I don't think it should be optional anymore tbh. include intersex people or die by my sword 🤺

[ID: The intersex flag - a yellow background with a purple ring in centre. White, shadowed text reads; I will carve out COMMUNITY with my bare hands. End ID]

[hwangskz]

in another life (pt. 1) | soulmate! minho

part 1 of the uwma! au series !!!! i was so excited to get this up bcs, if u hadn't realised alrdy, i LOVE uwma with my entire heart :( (ps if any of u watch any bls or even just uwma pls hmu thank u) and pls read this post b4 or after ur done reading this fic so u don't get confused in the next part!! +++ tw suicide !

• "y/n….do u like him?"

• ur automatically reminded of the time u first met

• u remember it as clear as day

• u both had taken film as ur major and on the first day, ur college held a lil gathering

• u picked up the nearest headband and read it's label

• 'belle'

• so….were u supposed to find ur beast now???? JSGSSHE THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID

• BUT UR RUNNING OUT OF TIME !!!!!!

• "10 seconds to find ur partner!!!!"

• u looked around bcs u were NOT standing in front of that huge crowd, later trying to find ur partner

• when a boy caught ur eyes

• he stood on the side, his hand limply holding the blue headband as he looked around

• and he looked ?? sad :( ??

• "last 5 seconds!!!"

• u turned around one last time and ?? EVERYONE HAD FOUND THEIR PARTNERS ALREADY??

• so u RAN towards that boy

• and caught him off guard as u pulled him down to sit on the ground as the announcer continued talking and giving out future tasks 

• "hey."

• "???"

• wow this boy is worse than YOU at communicating

• "are u sure we're partners??"

• "..."

• "right, yea. i was the one who dragged u..haha..sorry.."

• so u pulled his hand up to view his headband

• 'prince adam'

• u probably looked really confused rn bcs u just made the guy speak up

• "beast."

• u looked up, OBVIOUSLY confused

• this new voice box working??? wonder whose it is

• ":o huh?????"

• he sighed and held it up for u

• thank u nameless boy bcs ur hands kinda WERE getting tired JDKHD

• "prince adam is the real name of the prince in disney's beauty and the beast."

• ":OOO REALLY???? wait but how do u know"

• "..... google?"

• "... RIGHT sorry haha"

• even after the lil gathering ended and u got to go to ur class

• ur mind was still thinking abt the guy

• u probably didn't even notice u had entered the class w that DULL ASS look until

• "ouc- WHO THE F-???????"

• "still in ur dreams?? lmao dumbass"

• ":O SHIN RYUJIN"

• "this group needed the following of a sane person so im here too. hello to u too, y/n"

• "MISS YEJI??? PEOPLE THAT I KNOW AND CHERISH????? ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚ OMG HELLO TO U TOO"

• and there it was, once again, ryujin trying to get ur over affectionate ass off of her as yeji laughs 

• well iN UR DEFENSE, U MISSED UR BEST FRIENDS AND MEETING NEW PEOPLE TERRIFIES U

• and when u take a seat

• u can't help but follow the movements of the boy who enters the class

• his moves aren't rushed; they seem calm. too calm.

• and that's when u hear all the whispers around u

• "is that blood on his shirt? is he already following in his dad's footsteps?"

• ‘what footsteps?’

• "i heard he dragged his partner today for the freshman gathering today?"

• ‘but i was the one who dragged him..then how-’

• "y/n?"

• "h-huh?" 

• yeji's third call woke u up from ur train of thoughts

• "are u ok?"

• "yea.. i'm fine. dw!!"

• "see i told u they’re thinking abt their fantasy boys and/or girls again it's fine"

• "WH- EXCUSE ME I DON'T FANTASISE!!!!!"

• "yes y/n l/n i totally believe that"

• "SHUT UP RYUJIN"

• ur group's laughters echo in the room, along w the other friend groups'

• except for that boy who now sits in front of u

• u wonder if he's waiting for his friends

• but they never seem to show up

• even though it's alrdy been over 5 months now

• and that pretty boy in front of u is DISTRACTING u from the lesson (๑•ૅㅁ•๑) !!!!!

• and this one particular day..yeji and ryujin were absent..

• so u were kinda lonely anyways

• and hearing ppl continue to whisper abt that guy..it made u wanna talk to him again

• u don't know exactly why ?? but u did

• so u gathered up ur stuff from ur desk

• and sat at the desk next to his

• and immediately u could hear the whispers getting a bit louder

• and he ducked his head and turned towards u

• and u decided to ignore those words, and looked at him, with a bright smile on ur face

• "don't worry about them. i'm here now."

• it was something abt u

• something abt those words that made him feel some type of way

• he took in a deep breath as he looked down and then looked at u again

• "......thank you, i guess"

• u nodded and he turned towards his work

• a small smile on his face

• he had found someone

• "so?"

• ryujin asked u, bringing u back from ur flashback

•"yea..i think so.."

• yeji and ryujin sighed

• ur mind : ALERT

• IS IT BAD??? THAT U LIKE HIM???? (๑´╹‸╹`๑) ??

• "y/n...do u not know abt him..?"

• "(o゜ー゜o)??"

• they share a Look and turn towards u, worried looks on their faces

• OK YEA IT PROBABLY IS,,

• "he's the son of a mafia... that's why ppl talk abt him in such..hushed tones..and basically isolate him"

• "and look y/n..we know that isolating him is truly bad, but maybe get a little away? from him? what if u get involved in smthg bad?"

• u...ur honestly a lil shocked

• not fully by the news that his dad is a mafia

• but by the fact that they think something bad can happen when ur with him

• with HIM

• "but it's his dad who is a mafia. he's not at all like that !! he's a bit shy, and is just scared to express himself. and don't worry, yeji. i am not going to get myself in trouble"

• they muttered an "okay" and leaned back against their chairs again

• "but wait.."

• ryujin spoke up again

• "when did u even hangout w him? enough to, well, get feelings for him?"

• "uh well..that day both of u were absent, i went and sat w him in class..then shared some of my lunch w him when i saw him on the rooftop..and kind of having been bringing him lunch and staying w him..during that time.."

• they laughed, and u could feel the tension easing away

• "never knew y/n's a dom lmao"

• "they seem like a switch tho"

• "SHUT UP"

• and so u did join the guy 

• (who's name u had learned to be lee minho)

• whenever u found him to be lonely

• and even tho minho seemed to be against the whole idea of u joining him all the time

• trust me he's a whole softie inside

• he just ;;;; he gets so happy whenever u come by

• and not just bring him lunch

• and not only during lunch breaks

• but all the time

• whenever he passes by u

• u always greet him, and 

• wave at him and u just feel like a shield from everyone and all the bad things everyone says and he just

• he can't thank u enough

• but it's not just that

• and he knows that

• even when he sees u coming towards him in the library

• sneaking in some food bcs it IS lunch

• so technically u ARE supposed to bring him food

• "hey !! :D"

• u take the chair in front of him

• and take out the food, both of urs, and shove his one towards him

• "WHY-"

• minho shushes u and u turn around to look if u made anyone else angry

• and perhaps...... u DID.... AJSBBE

• so u just duck ur head as an apology and the furious students go back to studying

• "why are u studying rn???? it's lunch!!!!!"

• "ok and??"

• "rest is important!!"

• "what makes u think i haven't rested enough alrdy?"

• "well i've seen u w the book the ENTIRE DAY ??"

• minho sighs, but then perks his head up

• "u..u watch me..?"

• "!! im not a STALKER-"

• minho shushes u again and ur pretty sure the other students r staring daggers at u rn JDVSJE

• "-im not a stalker,, ur in my class.. right in front of me.."

• minho chuckles silently at ur words

• "sure"

• u were flustered until u realised u just

• u just made the biggest tsundere chuckle

• c h u c k l e

• "did u just …….. chuckle at me…….."

• minho looked down, scared to meet ur eyes bcs shit ur rite

• "no…….what makes u think that………"

• u giggle at his failed attempt to delete that successful moment from ur memory

• minho smiles a little

• he was so happy

• even tho it was abt u

• even tho u had made it CRYSTAL CLEAR that u like him

• like at random times u would be like

• "damn i can't believe i fell for u"

• or

• "oh good lord!! i always try to hangout w the guy i like but he pretends to not like spending time with me!!!!!!! what did i do to deserve this !!!!!!"

• and in these situations what does minho do??

• LAUGH .

• he LAUGHS

• just a bit bcs he's still under that tsundere cover JSGSJSB

• but like !!!!!!! in his defense !!!!!!!

• HE DIDNT KNOW IF U TRULY MEANT IT !!!!!!!

• MAYBE U LIKE HIM JUST AS A FRIEND !!!!!!!!!!!!

• AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUIN THIS FRIENDSHIP !!!!!!!!

• that too w his first ever friend..................

• little did he know he was truly so engrossed in his thoughts that he had stopped eating and had been staring at the sky above for like ??? more than 5 mins now ??

• "MINHO ???????"

• he flinched and moved away a bit at the sound of ur voice suddenly piercing his thoughts

• "w-what"

• "bitch i thought u died or smthg...u have been staring above for so long pretty sure some flies even touched ur food and it's now UNHYGIENIC"

• his eyes met urs and, as if he got some idea, he suddenly kept his lunch box away to look at u

• "wait im pretty sure the flies didn't sit on the food!!!! it was a joke-"

• minho exhaled loudly before he spoke

• "y/n?"

• "yes…?"

• "can i ask u smthg…..?"

• "sure!!"

• minho inhaled sharply before continuing

• "do u ever feel uncomfortable? when ur with me?"

• u thought for a while, before giving him a smile and answering him

• "why would i? idk if ur referring to the rumors here...or if they're supposed to be involved here but...they don't affect me. firstly, i don't even know if ur dad truly is a part of the mafia-"

• "he is."

• minho was staring at u intently, wondering how u'll respond to this

• "well, uh, nice for him? i guess? but it's him right? not u? then there's nothing to worry about."

• minho shook his head as he tried to look anywhere but at u

• "but what if u ever get in trouble? bcs of me?"

• "that's on me. not u. and if it's through u, or if u ever get in trouble or smthg-"

• u picked his hand up, holding it tightly, which seemed to catch him off guard

• "-i will protect u."

• he could do nothing but give u a soft smile, before turning his head away

• and so did u bcs damn y/n since when did u become so confident huh JDVSJE

• so u decided to go for it

• "y/n, will u be my partne-"

• u gently pecked his lips before moving away real QUICK JSGEJE

• WAS HE ABT TO CONFESS ???????????

• WHY ARE HIS EYES WIDENED LIKE THAT?????????? DID U

• OH NO U DID SOMETHING WRONG DIDN'T U

• "i-i'm sorry….i didn't mean to-"

• and u looked up in time, only to see minho leaning in, before he connected his lips to urs

• it was a slow kiss

• it took u a while to get the fact into ur head that he's right here

• he is kissing u

• and so u snaked ur arms across his shoulders, as he held u tight, even closer

• and when u both pulled away

• both of u were flushed red

• and it did feel kinda quiet so u just

• "damn im glad we have lunch on the rooftop, huh"

• minho chuckled as he moved away

• "kinda ….. yes"

• and so for the next months u continued to tease him with this JDGSJS

• even tho yall are technically dating now uwu

• but he never tells u he likes u

• which is : frustrating

• bcs u !!!!!! UR THE BIGGEST OVERTHINKER EVER !!!!!!

• ENOUGH TO WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP !!!!!!!!!

• and the fact that EVEN THO he's ur bf and u KNOW it, u continue to be curious if he even likes u :(

• so u just slam ur spoon on the table

• which makes him look up

• "what? is the ramen too spicy?"

• u shoot ur head towards him, a pout on ur face

• "do u like me?"

• ".........what"

• JSHSKWKKW

• Y/N PLS

• "u never….u have never said u like me…...and yea sure im not supposed to question this bcs ur my boyfriend and i know that but im sorry i overthink alot and it's just me saying i like u all the time but not u and i just can't help but-"

• "i …….. i like."

• "huh?"

• u shoot ur head upwards at minho, who now gets up to keep his empty bowl in ur kitchen sink, with a grin along ur face

• "u heard me."

• and u wish u could still be as happy as u were on this day

• when he first confessed

• well, half-confessed

• but u couldn't be

• even as he stood in front of u, saying that he loves u

• and he's grateful for u

• u couldn't stop the tears that continued to stream down ur cheeks

• ur eyes could only focus on the gun that he held right beside his temple

• his dad used to send people behind minho whenever u two went on a date

• "he wants me to go on w his job after he resigns" minho had once told on one of ur dates

• "do u want to?"

• "no, obviously-"

• he held ur hand in his

• "i want to be with u"

• then why

• why was he standing there, with that gun

• that stupid gun aimed at his temple?

• today while u had closed ur eyes, wishing for something, like minho had told u when he brought that birthday cake for u out of nowhere while u and minho were having ur date

• u opened ur eyes when u heard a muffled voice screaming loudly

• only to find it was minho's

• which confused u when u saw the hand covering his mouth

• but surprised u, when u saw his dad standing right behind him

• he kept pulling minho away from u

• minho yelled, tried to free himself away

• but couldn't

• until u yelled at his dad to stop

• and minho dropped on the ground, with his wrists red from being grasped so tightly

• u went on and on abt how he has made minho feel and what minho truly wants

• u had shut ur eyes out of fear

• but u had opened them to see what minho truly wants

• death ;

• an escape

• from all of this

• and so he spoke one more time

• "y/n. remember, i love you, okay? i….i'll always keep my promise."

• and then, a gunshot.

• u weren't sure if time had stopped or if it was just u frozen

• but u could only hear a beep sound going in ur ears as his body dropped on the ground

• limp.

• and at once u leapt towards him, sobbing, u fell to ur knees, ur hands grazing his cheeks and gently hitting his chest

• "y/n…. i don't know how to go on…"

• he had told u this months ago, when u guys had been dating for abt 5 months then

• "minho, we'll always be together, no matter what. i, at least, will be there for u, always."

• minho had looked at u with tears in his eyes 

• he rlly was so stupidly in love w u

• "but what if i...die...someday?"

• u sighed and turned to look at the night sky

• at least none of his dad's assistants had found out abt ur place yet

• (thankfully)

• u turned to look at him again

• "then...i'll die too."

• so that's what u were gonna do

• u searched for the pistol, as u blinked several times to focus properly

• when u finally found it, ur hands shakily reached for it

• and then as u aimed it at ur own temple

• the last part of that conversation popped into ur head again

• "then, will we meet each other in next life?"

• minho thought abt it for a few secs

• "probably"

• u nodded

• "i once heard that...when u fall for someone at first sight, it probably just means that we're recognising our partner's soul from our past life….do u think that will happen w us? do u think we'll…. we'll recognise each other?"

• "...i hope so…."

• u both let out a stifled laugh

• and so u stick ur pinky finger out, asking for his 

• "minho."

• "yes?"

• "promise me."

• "promise what?"

• "promise that…...that we'll find each other.."

• minho was abt to argue w u but seeing ur lil pout

• he had no choice but to agree

• "promise."

• and so, another gunshot was heard.

[linos-teeth]

oKAY let’s do it like this i apologise to you and everyone else for the spam but!! yes i did sort everything out with the docs i’m all signed up for my classes and it’s a good schedule so i’ll be able to go home early for the weekend when i want to and go back on monday and that’s nice!! i’ll miss my fam so much afjskahskjasf

i can tell u a bit abt what i write!! i know it’s like.....alright enough to post but i’m so afraid ppl would hate it afjsfhakjfsas also a lot of it is unfinished and i don’t want that pressure of finishing you know? but yeah i can tell you but it’s like....yknow....shippy stuff and it’s valid if you don’t want to hear abt that!! no imagines in this house (also u can tell me abt those started projects too if you want!!) i feel you tho, i would NEVER write in german but literally everyone else’s english fic flows so wellllllllll even the non native speakers and i cry so much abt it fskjashfa then again.......i can’t even think of words in german so here we are!!

i’m sorry abt tumblr eating ur ask but like...i feel you how does one say everything in just ONE ASK tumblr needs to change that char limit asap pls :/// pls feel free to send multiple always i just hope this won’t happen again! (heads up if u use ... make sure there’s a space after or it WILL get eaten i don’t even know why tf that is a thing ask tumblr)

you’re right tho!! if smth brings you joy you probably shouldn’t be secretive abt it but.....i am.......queen of secrets sadly idk how to open up abt things fkjahkfjasfa ppl judging me scares me so much it’s rly stupid b u t let’s not dwell on that

that’s so??? dumb tho??? i’m kpop’s bitch but i listen to it like twice a week maybe usually when i work i got smth instrumental on usually classical music or game ost and i’m also lofi trash the more you know!!! but yeah wtf u can have varying interests ppl aNYWAY WTF what’s normal weird guy!!! nobody’s normal and i’d rather be weird than be a disrespectful asshole rly

but nothing is off topic and they’re the only ones being punched fksafjhaksjf NO PUNCHING FOR YOU OK!! YOU DID NOTHING WRONG TY

yeah i didn’t say that i meant that i’m not rly feeling the comeback so far sdjkshafkajsfa and i’m not ready bc i don’t want to like....not like it yknow? that and also the creating urge but yeah you’re right i shouldn’t worry....tHEORETICALLY except how do i do that??? i’m always like wow these ppl followed you so it’s only fair you give back right? but yeah i’m not sure this feels even more aggressive and i’m not demanding anything but i miss the calm times!! i’ll just have to rely on day6 for that i guess i will absolutely die with that album i know that much sjkshfkjas and oneus just came back and mx will and ace that’s pretty much all the groups i’m gonna die from content overdose i cry but y e a h ask me once i’ve listened to double knot from start to finish maybe i will have changed my mind!!

speaking of which i’ll be out when it drops i’m abt to leave SO RIP NO GIFS FROM ME ANYWAY

hope u enjoy and have a good day today generally ♥♥♥

also i want to reply!!! ur asks make me so happy so dw u definitely accomplished that mission!! i just want you to know i’m not ignoring them you know?

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[starkissr]

would u look at that I just had my first break down in a rly long time

today I honestly thought that things have never been worse for me. but u fucking know what? fuck my anxieties. fuck my fears. fuck every doubt and insecurity that's been replaying in my mind. I literally don't fucking deserve to put myself thru this emotional turmoil anymore than I already have. Friday started stressful. yesterday I relapsed back into my bad bad habit. I didn't even mean to but I couldn't stop it. I knew I was doing it and I couldn't care less and altho I just realized it but the level of dgaf I was abt it and how it got so bad literally so quick scared the fuck out of me. now I see it meant I didn't care abt myself anymore. I did see it was wrong but I rly didn't trust myself to take care of myself so my plan was to tell my most trusted friend n roommate here abt my problem so she could also look out for me and help me a little n yesterday I thought abt it but brushed it off. today I texted her and told her I needed to tell her something when were alone. I was so proud of myself for telling her that bc I was like ok now I can't back out of it and I rly rly have to speak up abt this. I guess I should've emphasized that it was v important to me but anyway she left before we got a chance to talk and that was yet ANOTHER thing that went wrong. I swear I've heard like just numerically more bad news today than I have in my life I think. everytime something else came up n I thought shit can't get fucking worse another thing would pop up n fucking emotionally destroy me all over again. but this one was so shitty bc this girl is MY GIRL n the only one I feel comfortable enough talking abt this and I even told her how I desperately needed a solid cry 2 n she wasn't fucking here for me when I needed her. I'm not mad at her like she's been thru v srs shit as of late too n ik she was stressed and why we weren't able to talk but it still fucking hurt bc all day when the hot tears would flood my eyes I kept trying to tell them and all my shit thoughts to sh go away. I would tell them at the end of the day u will come flooding out and I would stop torturing myself and not hold anything back and just say out loud every fucking last thing that's going wrong rn but then it would be ok bc at least it'd all be out of my head. so like I said I'm not mad at her bc that would just be selfish of me but I'm still hurt and i hate so much that I don't feel comfortable having that conversation w her anymore. I'm scared that no one here knows that I don't feel like I can take care of myself rn. I actually decided right now that it's ok that I don't wanna tell her anymore. I rly can't force myself to make myself feel uncomf and tell her something that deeply personal when I don't have the desire to anymore. but the only reason why I'm ok w that is I just compromised n I'm gonna go to talk to the psychologist at my school tm. even tho I rly can't afford to waste a fucking second of my time this week I literally have to go tomorrow or I'll never go. I've been telling myself for legit 4 years that I would start seeing someone but when it came down to it I would never go bc I would tell myself it's not like I have any like life or death problems anyway n when I would think abt making an appt since it would be scheduled in like 2 weeks I automatically would assume whatever the issue was would go away by then. but I fucking need to do this for myself so even tho I'm not planning on killing myself or anything I honest to fucking god need immediate attn rn and everytime I would consider doing the emergency mtg b4 I would be like oh I'm taking that time away from someone who honestly might wanna kill themself n since of c my problems aren't nearly as valid as that I would just be wasting everyone's time. but I need to be selfish this once. I need help I know I desperately fucking need it but I fucking can't stand myself that even tho ik that I still feel like I'm not worthy of going and getting the help I need. I'm still gonna make myself go but like shit man I should not be thinking that way abt myself. whatever idk I'll try to work on it

anyway I still rly did need to talk to someone even if it wasn't to tell my secret I still needed to vent abt all the other million things that had just gone to shit. I had a weird thing that wasn't a fight but like we never fight so it was just even weirder that happened w my best friend who I never have a problem spilling my heart and my soul to so that also was like ugh but I still woulda been down to call her until I remembered how she just started grad school n has more going on now than ever and that rn wasn't a good time for her. there's this other girl here who just within like the past couple of weeks I've gotten to know better n we just vibe so I thought abt dumping my shit on her but then I felt stupid bc I was literally just w her all day n of c now after she left I feel like bitching abt all my shit but I was like that's not a good enough reason to not talk to her so I decided to reach out

I honestly dk what I would've done if she hadn't been there for me. if ur actually reading this ridiculous thought process no like I said I wasn't gonna kms but that anxiety attack was sooooo bad n I've had my fair fucking share so I don't say that lightly but regardless I'm sosososoosososo grateful to her for being there n hearing out all my irrational concerns and being patient n eventually talking sense into me. I felt so vulnerable at first bc even tho she already knew abt some of what went down I honestly felt ashamed abt these problems I'm facing n it takes me a while to warm up to ppl and be THAT open even if it may not seem like a big deal to some I'm super private w somethings idk but she was so fucking amazing I even did kinda preface or hint or like not in as srs of a way but still did lightly bring up a lil part of my secret. she prob didn't even know it but that was so cool n felt liberating tbh. I'm so happy bc while we were studying earlier today, in a moment when those tears found my eyes again n I was tryna keep my cool n not bawl my eyes out in the library n just take deep breathes I drew this simple as can be flower at the top of my page with a cute smiley right in the flowers center in an effort to make myself feel better n showed it to her n when I was showing it off I decided i would want nothing more than to have this be my next tattoo. she laughed n we just talked n then I was like no but I'm not kidding I rly am getting it. to me it was so real that I was having a day from literal hell but that lil silly flower smiley lit up my insides n made me feel soooooo happy I can't explain n it was just a nice thing to try to redirect my thoughts to bc I already love flowers but idk this drawing is like literally a stroke of genius idc if it sounds crazy n anyway she looks at it longer n told me she honestly rly liked it too n said she would get it tatted n I told her again like I'm so srs this thing is giving me LIFE n she surprised me n said yeah me too n so we decided we would get matching tats n I thought abt all the past friends who I've had this convo w like obv abt diff tattoos but I was just asking myself if I rly would want to share this lil treat w her n I can't explain how but all the other times I've talked abt getting matching tattoos w good friends it just felt like a game and not real but this felt different. I'm so stoked were gonna do this together n the fact that I'll have one of my own doodles on my skin like I just love every bit of it. n I thought abt how it's gonna be so magical even when we graduate how the same smiley flower on me will go and see the world thru her eyes. she's from Dubai so even tho it's sad we can't live in the same city forever idk I genuinely feel like I'll be connected and there w her no matter where we go. it's unbelievable to me just how much of the same person we are n how close we've gotten so fast I'm so blessed to have her in my life

wow what an experience. hopefully tm is better

[hwangskz]

call me by your name | boyfriend(s)! minsung

there's no way that i can watch a beautiful movie and not write an au abt it

• it was in the summer of 2016 when they first met

• they both were standing outside the swimming center, waiting along with other strangers, for the door to open

• when suddenly it was announced on a huge microphone that was placed on the counter, that the no more space is left for any other customer to come in

• and obviously everyone was annoyed

• jisung sat down with his back against the wall of the building

• "i really should've stayed at home in the ac.."

• "me too"

• jisung looked up to see a beautiful man looking down at him and smiling

• "hello"

• "....hi?"

• minho sighed as he looked around to see no one else there, as jisung's eyes followed his movements

• "well..im kinda free today and have nothing better to do, so like.. do u wanna get something from the convenience store?"

• jisung knew he shouldn't go around w strangers

• but CHAN DIDN'T SAY TO REFUSE CUTE STRANGERS' OFFERS (▰˘◡˘▰)

• (jisung ur gonna get urself killed someday like this istg,,,,)

• "sure"

• so they were on their way to a convenience store

• and it was pretty? quiet?

• minho was ok w it. he wasn't much of a speaker anyway

• but jisung,,,,, THIS BOY !! had to make a conversation

• "it's pretty.. hot rn,, isn't it?"

• "yeah"

• minho went back to looking around them, searching for THAT ONE air-conditioned convenience store he saw on his way to the swimming center

• and this BUGGED THE FUCK OUT OF JISUNG JDHSGD

• he would've been ok with shutting tf up but he thought the other didn't like his company?? (even tho minho was literally the one who asked him to come to the store w him JSHSH)

• and it didn't help that he was an extremely cute boy ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

• Jisung's First Impression Self-Coordinator can u shut up jisung is alrdy anxious w having this beautiful man beside him AND GUESS WHAT U R NOT HELPING!!!!!!

• all this time jisung kept thinking abt what discussion topics there were to exist so that he can talk to him

• "debate? nah arguing isn't a good first impression.."

• "global warming? it's all around social media with fake woke people anyways jisung what are u trying...."

• "the summer? i mean we kinda alrdy did.."

• and ALL THIS TIME jisung didn't even have a single clue that he was speaking this out loud

• and yes minho had heard it all

• he laughed quietly which caught jisung's attention

• "????? did something happen ?????"

• minho tried to not smile at the cute boy and shook his head no

• he looked beside him one more time and

• "!!!! BITCH I FOUND IT !!!! COME ON!!!!"

• "?? what-"

• jisung was ABSOLUTELY thrown off when the cold air hit him

• "OH MY GOD THIS IS SO AMAZING WOE THANK U STRANGER"

• "just call me minho"

• minho told him to get a seat for the both of them while he got a strawberry and a chocolate milk, one for him and one for jisung, and then proceeded to pass him his drink as he held his in his hand and sat down opposite to jisung

• as jisung slurped his drink, minho had head on his palm and watched the other

• jisung looked up to see the other looking at him Like That and his heart probably did something too

• "w-why are u looking at me like that?"

• "u still haven't told me ur name"

• "...han jisung"

• "cute"

• minho, satisfied, picked up his drink and slurped it

• and jisung just.. sat there looking at his new friend

• and probably crush

• "what year were u born in?"

• "........2000....why"

• "oh,, so i'm 2 years older than u..hm..."

• "why do u ask tho"

• "trying to see something"

• "see what"

• he smirked as he held his head in his palm again and looked up at jisung

• "maybe the universe wants us to be together"

• jisung felt his cheeks heat up and minho chuckled at the sight of his red cheeks

• "has anyone ever told u that it's pretty wildt to flirt with someone when u have just met them"

• "has anyone ever told u how pretty u look when ur blushing"

• "i- !!!!!!!!!! MINHO PLS"

• days went by really quickly

• and soon they were best friends

• hung out at each other's places and stole food

• had movie marathons

• fought for the slice of pizza and the last piece of chicken

• u name it

• and like a routine, they were at the convenience store

• but today? they ran out of strawberry milk AND chocolate milk

• what misery o(╥﹏╥)o

• so instead he just got a chocolate cake for jisung

• "?? why this sudden change in menu??"

• "it's only for today. they ran out of all flavored milks today so i got this instead, because u once said that u loved chocolate cakes"

• ":0......thank u......"

• jisung got the cake and started having small bites of it when he looked up to see minho smiling at him; nothing in front of him

• "why aren't u eating?"

• "i don't like chocolate cake so ill probably just eat something tomorrow when i wake up bcs im too tired to make anything today"

• "but won't u get too hungry (・_・) ? by then (・_・) ?"

• "eh, it's fine"

• jisung was NOT having it

• "wait ill just buy u some fire noodles"

• "u don't need to do that"

• "BITCH?????? U WILL DIE DONT DO THAT TO URSELF!!!! EAT!!!!"

• "jisung that frown doesn't look good ur cute face pls.."

• "then LET ME BUY U THE DAMN RAMEN U BUFFOON"

• "... ok"

• jisung got the ramen and poured some hot water in it and covered it, followed by placing in it front of minho

• "here u go"

• ".. thank u"

• there was complete silence before jisung spoke up again

• "do me a favor and..... kinda tone it down? ur compliments towards me at the slightest of things.. i mean.."

• he didn't mind it, really

• "did that make u uncomfortable-"

• "no,, it just does something to my heart"

• minho looked him in the eye

• "what do you mean?"

• jisung gave him a sad smirk

• "i thought u will know to take hints like this the best."

• minho looked down; he did know what it meant, just too scared to come out

• jisung sighed and pointed at the cup of ramen

• "eat up. it's ready."

• after they were done at the store, they walked towards the bus stop, just like everyday

• but something seemed different today

• they stood still when they reached the bus stop, waiting for the bus to appear so that minho can reach his place

• "about that thing i said earlier.. i'm sorry"

• minho turned his head towards jisung

• "what are u talking about?"

• "about the thing with compliments.. i'm sorry if that made u uncomfortable.. or dislike me in any sort of wa-"

• jisung was cut off with minho's lips on his, and his hand behind jisung's head

• minho pulled away and looked at him

• "i could never, ever, hate u."

• and that's how, fast forward to a month later, right now, they ended up in the same bed

• with jisung's face pressed to minho's chest as his head rests on jisung's head, gently stroking through his hair

• "jisung.. i can't believe it's been so long since we met, you know?"

• jisung only hummed

• "and i'm so glad i got the courage to confess to u that day.. otherwise this, us, it wouldn't have had happened"

• "yeah"

• minho slid down to match jisung's height and gently smiled at him, jisung returning one

• "call me by your name, and i'll call you by mine."

• "jisung."

• "minho."

• they both exhaled and chuckled

• when suddenly

• "jisung?"

• "yes?"

• minho sighed and closed his eyes shut one more time before opening them and staring at jisung with determination

• it was gonna be a big day for him

• "i am in love with you, han jisung."

• jisung's breath hitched

• he should've seen this coming

• so jisung only sadly smiled and pressed a gentle kiss on minho's forehead before getting up and sitting on the foot of the bed, causing a confused minho to get up too

• "..jisung?"

• jisung looked back at minho one last time before saying

• "maybe the universe doesn't want us to be together."