#i KNOW what hot creamy beverage sounds like also but i don’t know how else to describe that specific fear food niche it’s literally hot crea

[kiki-strike]

weird idiot brain: i can have a Hot Creamy Beverage today and it will not freak me out because i no longer fear my fear foods😌

also weird idiot brain: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨😳😳😱😱COUGH DROP 🤯🤯🤯😨😨🙀🙀🙀🫨🫨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

[mintwithchoco]

loonathesmut: Dawn

LOOΠΔ Jinsoul x Male Reader

Word Count: 6306 words

Categories: smut, oral, shower sex, stepsister! jinsoul

note; my first smut! i haven't seen anyone do a jinsoul smut so here! i think i focused too much on the plot but i tried my best to incorporate a lot of smut in here! i feel like it's also pretty cringey so bash me all you want lmao

note(05312021); thanks to an ask from an anon, me and @closedafterdark​ have done a few edits and even added a shower sex scene to make the story better.

aff link

12 AM was displayed on the clock.

You were still awake, trying to finish an assignment that has been keeping you up the past three days.

It was raining harshly outside, the droplets pelting your window adding on to your laziness. You wanted to wrap yourself under the covers of your blanket and drink a cup of piping hot chocolate. Instead, you were working on a chemical equation when your attention was moved to the knocking sounds on your front door.

You were a bit confused about who was coming to your apartment this late at night. You suddenly thought about your friend. Maybe he forgot something? Or maybe it’s your mom, making a surprise visit at midnight. Though, that one seemed less likely as she was usually asleep by 8 PM.

You quickly rushed towards the door. To your surprise - it was neither your mom nor your friend. It was your stepsister, Jinsol.

You and Jinsol have been step siblings since you both were kids. She’s only a year older than you, which made it easier for you to bond with her. You still remember the days where you and her were playing hide and seek, beating each other in Super Smash Bros and sharing lunch together at school.

You and her were almost like real siblings, some might even say twins because of the similarities. Both of you had the same interest in food, music, etc. Furthermore, you were always together with Jinsol everywhere you went. If people didn’t know that you are both step siblings, chances are that you would’ve been mistaken as a good-looking couple.

But the truth was, you did have a little crush on her. You knew that it was wrong, but her personality is really similar to your ideal type. Caring, adorable, and a little clumsy at times, you obviously couldn’t say no to her. Adding on the obvious fact that she is really pretty from head to toe, it’s no wonder you were always nervous around her.

Now that you two were grown up, you have taken different paths in life. She has become an idol in a group called Girl of the Month, or more commonly referred to as Loona. The group has been doing well these days and of course, you were happy for her. You, on the other hand, continued your studies at a university in Incheon in the biochemistry field. Even though you and Jinsol were not living together anymore, both of you still kept in contact. It was almost a requirement to message each other almost every day and video calling whenever possible.

“Noona? Why are you-” you asked, blinking your eyes at her. She interrupted you from finishing your sentence by holding up two plastic bags with takeaway food inside. You automatically get them from her hands.

“The company gave me a week of vacation. Haven’t seen you in a while so I decided to pay my lovely brother a visit!” Jinsol said enthusiastically.

“But, why now though? It’s dangerous to be out at night, let alone someone as clumsy as you could get harmed.” You said, teasing her as a way to mask your visible concern.

“There’s less people at midnight. Plus, I had a bodyguard on the way here.” Jinsol answered, kicking off her shoes while entering your apartment.

“Oh really? Where is he?” You asked, peeking outside your door and not seeing anyone else with her.

“I told him to go back home. Which means, you have to take me back tomorrow! Ahh, it’s been a while since I’ve been here!” Jinsol answered while walking around the living room, looking at all of the new trinkets and decorations you have accumulated since her last visit.

You sighed deeply as you watched her pace around. Jinsol then plopped down face first onto your couch and gestured at you to sit beside her. You walked towards the couch, placing the bags of food on the table nearby and sat down beside her while holding in your nervousness.

Why were you nervous, you wondered. Is it because it’s been awhile since you’ve seen her in person? 

She was wearing a black long sleeved crop top with a black sleeveless top underneath, allowing you to see her toned abdomen. Her black shorts made your heart race faster due to how short they were, showing off her extremely long legs. Her creamy thighs looked delicious and the subtle hint of her buttcheeks were making your loins begin to burn with desire. You were thinking of very impure thoughts but did your best to suppress them.

Jinsol reached for the remote and turned on the television. You opened the bags and began taking out the styrofoam boxes of food out.

“By the way, why are you still up at this time? You were always asleep as early as possible.” Jinsol asked.

“As usual, assignments. I’ve worked on them for days now. Seems like they’re impossible to finish.” You said while opening the boxes. Once they were opened, you instantly smiled as the fragrant aroma of the food traveled into your nostrils. 

“Fried chicken? Oh you shouldn’t have!” You quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed some utensils. Jinsol simply smiled at your actions.

“What do you want to drink?” You asked.

“Do you have any Sprite?” Jinsoul said.

“Yeah, I do.” You opened the refrigerator and took out two green cans of the unmistakable beverage.

With utensils on your right hand and the two cans of Sprite on your left, you went back to the couch and gently put them down. Both of you quickly dig into the food while watching a random movie that Jinsol put on.

The both of you talked a lot while eating, the movie serving as a background afterthought. From the funny moments during her fansigns to your experience working part-time at a daycare, your heart was constantly beating. The nervousness could be heard in your voice with each of your responses. You were quiet whenever she spoke and stuttered when answering her questions, often repeating certain words a few times. Every time you stutter, Jinsol would smile. Sometimes she would giggle for no reason and it only increased the furious rate your heart was pumping at.

Halfway through the movie, Jinsol suddenly asks a question that you’ve been avoiding to answer.

“Hey, baby brother?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Jinsol asked casually.

“Uhh no..I’m too busy with assignments and studies. I barely have enough time for sleep these days, much less a girlfriend.” You answered calmly.

“Ehh..really? How about a crush?”

“Not really. I don’t really know any girls at the university. Most of my interactions with them are about assignments or if they could borrow my notes from the previous lecture.” You felt slightly bad for lying to her, since you knew a handful of pretty girls in your university.

“How about you noona, are you interested in anyone?” You directed her question right back at her, mentally preparing yourself to be heartbroken.

“Yeah, I do actually.” All the color in your face was gone as you felt your heart metaphorically being glass and shattering into a million pieces. But you still held out hope that it was just one of her jokes...

“Oh really? Then tell me how attractive this guy is.” You teased.

“Hmm, let’s see. He’s handsome, pretty athletic, smart, kind but what’s important is that..” Jinsol stops and stares at you.

“..he’s like a little brother to me.” Jinsol ended her statement when your faces were mere centimeters and turned her focus to the movie.

You were visibly confused. Why would she emphasize her crush to be a ‘little brother’? You tried to wrap your head around it by watching the movie as well, occasionally stealing glances at her. But her words still lingered in your mind.

It was around 2 AM when the movie finally ended. You looked towards Jinsol and saw her fast asleep. Being the good brother and host you are, you delicately lifted her into your arms to bring her into your room so that she could sleep on your bed. The impure thoughts reared their ugly head into your mind as you did so.

After gently laying her down on your bed, you grabbed some pillows and blankets to sleep on the couch. You decided it was too risky to share the bed with Jinsol otherwise.

Just as you were about to close the lights and head to the living room, you felt a hand grab your arm. You looked back to see Jinsol who had a sleepy look plastered on her face pulling you back.

“Where are you going?” Jinsol asked with a quiet and raspy voice. Her exhausted voice sounded so seductive, almost causing you to choke on your own saliva.

“I’m s-sleeping on t-the couch. You know, t-to give you privacy…” You said, failing to not stutter that you had just managed to control.

“You’re not gonna feel comfortable sleeping on the couch. Just sleep here.” Jinsol said again.

“But-” You tried to resist but Jinsol pulled your hand even harder.

“F-Fine…” You said as you gave up and sat beside her on the bed. You were hesitant to do so, your king-sized bed feeling like it was too small for the both of you.

“Just lay down! I won’t eat you.” Jinsol teased.

You laid down slowly, feeling like you were going to melt and sink into the bed. Once you got comfortable, Jinsol pulled the blankets over the both of you.

“Goodnight, baby brother.” Jinsoul said, giving you a kiss on the forehead and then turned on her side, facing herself against you.

“G-Goodnight, n-noona..” You said, trying to stop your rapidly hardening erection below from waking up because of the perverted thoughts you were having.

After around twenty minutes, you still couldn’t sleep because of the close proximity between you and Jinsol. You looked to your side and saw her sleeping soundly. You couldn’t deny how pretty she looked while sleeping. After some time and your erection teasing you, you managed to fall asleep.

//timeskip//

It was now 6 AM.

Jinsol felt a weird sensation all over her body.

She was heating up from head to toe, but it was not due to a fever.

Her bottom was where most of the warm and weird sensations were coming from. She felt that something hard was touching her. She tried to move her hips around and suddenly moaned. She quickly stopped, afraid that her moans would wake you up.

She doesn’t know why, but the thing that was touching her clothed vagina felt good. She felt herself getting wet because of it as well. She wanted to get up and inspect what exactly was touching her. But then she thought about you, so she scrapped the plan and decided to just see what was going on.

She slowly opened her eyes. It was dark but she could still see a little bit. She looked at her back and to her surprise, you were hugging her tightly. Your face was close to her neck and your right hand was at her waist. Moreover, the thing that was poking her was coming from you.

Jinsol smiled.

The truth was, Jinsol also has feelings towards you. The person that she described earlier in the evening was you. She always loved how you were nervous around her. Sometimes, she would touch herself after she secretly caught you staring at her body. It was like this for two years until you and she went your separate ways to pursue your own careers.

And now she was here, visiting you with one goal in mind. To actually confess her feelings towards you. She was going to just confess normally. But now, she had an even better idea due to this newfound situation.

She slowly gets off the bed, removing your hand away from her waist. With her off the bed, your body laid flat just how Jinsol wanted. She gets on top of the bed again and crawls in between your legs towards your crotch. Throughout all of this, you were still sleeping heavily.

Now at your crotch, Jinsol licked her lips. She was finally getting ready to do the thing that she had been longing for. Thankfully for her, you were wearing baggy pants so Jinsol had no problem removing them and your underwear in one swift motion.

Your hard cock sprang out, almost hitting her in the face. Jinsol’s pussy was drenched at this point, seeing all the possibilities that she could do with your cock. She slowly strokes it, hoping that it would wake you up. But being the heavy sleeper you were meant Jinsol would have to try harder.

After stroking your cock for some time, Jinsol licked the tip that was already leaking with precum, making you moan a little in your sleep. Jinsol kept licking the drenched tip until she saw you moved slightly. Eventually, she got her wish as you woke up.

“Ugh….huh? Noona what are you-” Jinsol quickly put her finger on your lips.

“Shh, baby. I know you have been wanting this.” Jinsol said in a seductive tone.

Without any hesitation, Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth. You instantly moaned at the contact, pleasure washing over your body as Jinsol kept sucking your cock gently. You couldn’t believe that your step sister was so good at giving you head. She then stopped sucking and stroked you slowly. 

“You know, I have been eyeing you for quite some time, baby. You might not know this, but I have caught you staring at my body a bunch of times.” Jinsol said while teasing your sensitive tip, flicking her tongue against it. You felt like you were in ecstasy as she stroked your cock and teasing your tip.

 “Sorry, n-noona..I can’t- ughh…h-help it..you’re too hot- oh my god..” You tried to answer but failed as the pleasure overwhelmed your senses.

“Tell me, what do you like about my body?” Jinsol said, stroking your cock faster.

“E-everything….” Your cock was twitching at this point when Jinsol suddenly stopped, causing you to whine.

“Come on, baby. Be more specific or else I won’t let you cum.” Jinsol started to stroke your cock again at a delicately slow pace.

“Your t-thighs. I love how delicious they look.” You said. You were getting used to her strokes, causing you to throb in her hand.

“Mmm, more?” Jinsol began to stroke faster.

“Y-your ass. I just wanna spank it every time I see you w-wear shorts.”

“You gotta have to work for that, baby. More.” Jinsol strokes you at an even faster rhythm.

“Your abs. I really like how sexy your a-abs look when you wear crop tops.”

“Thank you, I worked really hard on them. Last one, baby. Don’t stop now, you’re almost there.” Jinsol was now stroking you at max speed.

“Y-your b-breasts. I could suck o-on them all d-day.”

“Good boy. Now, for your reward.” Jinsol took your shaft into her mouth, starting from the tip.

You immediately moaned. Jinsol starts bobbing her head on your cock, taking it inch by inch. She gripped your thighs while you ran your fingers through her blonde hair. Eventually you hold the back of her head with both hands, the two of you are deeply absorbed by the erotic act. You mentally counted the seconds that passed, wanting to see how long she would be able to hold you for. Jinsol shakes her round ass as you force her head deeper. You felt her throat make contact with the tip of your cock, causing you to let out a wordless scream of pleasure. After about twenty seconds, she releases your cock. Gasping for air and a generous amount of saliva dripping from your cock and her mouth, she giggles in satisfaction. Your brain was beginning to overload from the pleasure. 

Jinsol’s panties were drenched with her juices since she started. While she was sucking your cock, her hand slowly went inside her panties. You saw what was happening and took advantage of it.

“Noona..let me help you out.” Jinsol understood what you were trying to do and eased her mouth off your cock, causing you to whimper. She turned around so that her hips would be up against your face. You got to work by pulling her shorts and her panties off in one motion, mirroring what she did to you.

“Impatient aren’t we?” Jinsol said and returned to slobbering on your throbbing cock. Tossing her shorts and panties on the floor, her beautiful pink pussy was glistening with her juices, making you drool. You dive right in, licking her clit like it was your last meal. Jinsol moaned loudly on your cock, adding on another layer of pleasure. You grabbed her thick thighs to get a better grip while eating her out.

Both of you were a moaning mess. Jinsol was bobbing her head on your shaft while you were eating her pussy out. Jinsol started to fondle your warm balls, raising the volume levels of your moans. You weren’t one to be defeated so easily, starting to finger her drenched pussy with two of your fingers. She responds with an even louder moan than before, aroused by how you were giving her pussy your full attention.

Jinsol bobbed her head harder and faster on your cock, causing you to add another finger inside her vagina while licking her clit. You and Jinsol were sweating profusely, but it doesn’t stop the both of you from continuing to pleasure each other. Suddenly, Jinsol stops sucking you off and strokes your shaft hard.

“Baby, you’re so good at that. Don’t you fucking stop.” Her words made you move your fingers even faster into her. She replies in earnest by sucking your cock even harder.

Eventually, both of you can’t hold it any longer. 

“I-I’m gonna cum, baby! I’m gonna cum!” Jinsol said and continued her assault on your dick. 

“Me…too…” You replied back with a breathy voice. 

Jinsol came first, violently. She arches her back as the floodgates opened and you were rewarded handsomely with her sweet nectar. You tried to take it all in but she came so much that it was starting to leak out of your mouth and dripped onto your neck. Meanwhile, your cock twitches and explodes inside Jinsol’s mouth. She lowered her head and tried to take all your cum in but was unsuccessful because of the large volume of your load.

Both of you were struggling to breathe after your intense orgasms. Jinsol looks back at you and stares deeply into your warm brown eyes. She then removes her body off you and plops back on the bed. She kissed you on the lips. Each connection sent small jolts of electricity jolting through your body. The taste of her strawberry lipstick mixed with your cum was amazing. After making out for a period of time, both of you pulled back, leaving a trail of saliva.

“I taste pretty good.” You said.

“Yeah, I love how I taste too. Now, let’s-” You interrupted Jinsol by pinning her down, kissing her again, quickly grabbing her shirt and throwing it off the bed. Jinsol smirked and did the same, except that she ripped your shirt off you.

“You look good.” Jinsol complimented you, biting her lower lip as her eyes hungrily eyed your exposed body.

“You look even better without this.” You removed her black top to reveal her breasts that were being covered with a blue laced bra. Her breasts weren’t the biggest, but were enough for you to fully grab a handful. Your impatience took over your admiration of them and you pulled her bra off, exposing her plentiful breasts. Jinsol moaned over your actions as the cool nighttime air made contact with her exposed skin.

Now the both of you are finally naked together. You start off by kissing her cheeks, creating a trail as you make your way through her neck and eventually, her breasts. You immediately dive into her pink nipples which were already stiff. Jinsoul softly moans into your ear, enjoying what you were doing to her body. You sucked her left nipple, then moved to the right. The breast that wasn’t in your mouth was being fondled by your hand.

Jinsol was shivering with pleasure. She didn’t get relaxed, however. Instead, she reaches for your cock and starts stroking it. You moaned slightly because of her actions. After having fun with her soft flesh, you pepper her stomach with kisses and trace her abdomen by licking it with your tongue.

“Baby, do you love me?” Jinsol suddenly asked.

“Of course, noona. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” You answered with no hesitation.

“Then, prove your love by fucking me as hard as you can.” Jinsol’s dirty talk has made your cock throb even harder than before.

Fueled by Jinsol’s dirty talk just now, you turned her body around so her back was facing you and lifted her up so she was on her fours. Before lining your cock with her dripping pussy, you spanked her round ass several times.

“F-Fuck! Slap my ass again, baby.” Jinsol moaned.

You spanked her again and again, gaining a series of loud moans.

Your cock was now in between her dripping heat. It felt so warm, inviting. This was the moment that you have always been dreaming about and you don’t wanna lose this chance. You started by teasing the outside of her folds, collecting her nectar that was dripping. 

“Stop teasing me already, baby...” Jinsol moaned at the feeling of your hard cock nudging her entrance.

You grabbed her wide hips, aiming your cock and started to push into her slick folds. Both of you gasped and moaned. You never felt the feeling of a vagina before in your life and never knew how tight they could really be. You pushed into Jinsol even more, feeling her walls wrapping your shaft. Jinsol was lost in pleasure, leaning her head back and enjoying how you felt inside of her. Eventually, all of your cock went in. You savored the feeling of her plump ass against your crotch.

You slowly pull away from her pussy and stop before your tip comes out. You pushed into her again and repeated the process as the both of you were getting accustomed to it. You found a perfect rhythm and started to thrust into Jinsol. Her pussy walls felt warm with your dick embedded in her. Jinsol was a moaning mess, getting louder with each thrust.

“Fuck baby, you’re so big and hard.”

“You’re so fucking tight, noona.”

Slowly but steadily, you increased the pace of your thrusts. Jinsol’s erotic sounds were being an encouragement for you to keep yourself pumping into her. You love how cute she moaned for your cock and how gorgeous she looks being satisfied with your thrusts.

You fucked Jinsol even harder and harder. You wanted to kiss her, so you grabbed her shoulder and pulled her upright so that she’s leaning against your chest. You kissed her lips passionately. 

“Yes, fuck me harder. Turn me into your little slut, baby!” Jinsol’s words went right in your ear and of course, you followed what she said. Her walls were constricting your shaft even more. Your right hand reached towards her breasts, fondling it to give more pleasure to the woman that you love.

Her walls were becoming even tighter as you touched her breasts. Your pace didn’t slow down however, it was increasing like crazy, to the point where her ass is making clapping sounds with your crotch. Jinsoul was in euphoria, being a cute little mess. 

“Baby, h-harder please. I wanna cum all over your fucking cock.”

You put your left hand on her clit and rubbed it while thrusting even faster into her. Her moans have become music to your ears, giving you the strength to keep thrusting into her.

Jinsol then buried her face into the bed. Spreading her legs apart, you began thrusting inside her. You watched as Jinsol squeezed her tits, pinching her nipples as you fucked her hard. You made sure she could feel each thrust.

“Your cock feels so fucking good, I love it so much!” Jinsol moaned loudly, her walls squeezing the life out of your cock as you fucked her. 

Jinsol closed her eyes while she grabbed onto the sheets tightly, desperately hanging on while chasing her impending orgasm. You roughly fucked her as her body moved in time with your thrusts.

“Oh fuck!” She screamed as you held her body tightly in place, your hands making a deep impression on her hips.

“Baby, I’m cumming!”

Ultimately, she shrieks and came hard on your cock. Her walls tighten around you deliciously as you feel her juices flood your cock and begin to seep out, staining both of your thighs. You watched as Jinsol’s body trembled violently, her breathing becoming erratic as your thrusts gradually began to slow down in order to allow her to ride out her euphoric high. 

“Baby… that was amazing.” she said quietly, her mouth still open. You kept a tight hold on her as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I came so fucking hard...” She then looks back towards you.

“You haven’t cum yet, baby. I want your load deep inside of me, so come fuck me again.” Jinsol’s dirty talk reinvigorated you as you pulled out your cock from her and turned her around so that she was facing you. She was covered in sweat but still as beautiful as always. You were lost in her gaze for a couple of seconds.

“Noona, I love you.” You blurted out unexpectedly.

“I love you too, baby.”

You spread her legs to reveal her still dripping pussy. You put both of your hands beside her and lined up your cock with her vagina. Jinsol wrapped her arms around your neck, ready to receive your shaft.

“Ready?”

“Always.”

You pushed yourself into her slowly until your dick fully disappeared into her folds. Both of you moaned together at the euphoric feeling. You pull out from her pussy, leaving the tip and slamming her with a long thrust. She moans in pleasure of your cock being deep inside of her tight hole.

You started to fuck Jinsol in a slow pace. Words couldn’t describe how good the both of you felt fucking while facing each other. Her mouth was open, filling both of your ears with her lustful moans.

“Ahh, baby, I love how deep your dick is inside of me.” Jinsol moaned, her eyes rolling back because of the intense pleasure you were giving her.

“Your pussy feels amazing, noona. It’s so tight and warm.” You replied as you began to thrust faster into her. Jinsol was moaning even louder, following the rhythm of your thrusts. You lifted her feet up and placed them on your shoulders, allowing your cock to enter her even deeper.

Jinsol’s breasts were jiggling up and down and you couldn't help yourself from grabbing onto them while you fuck her. She was obviously aroused by this as you took her right nipple into your mouth. Your pace was getting even faster as the wet sounds of your crotches hitting each other could be heard.

Jinsol suddenly grabbed onto your back and scratched it with her nails. You moaned at her action and the erotic act caused you to pound her even harder. Her juices were splashing against both of your crotches, allowing you to slide in and out with ease. Her pussy was getting tighter and tighter as you pound into her. The only sounds that were being heard in your room were wet flesh and your bodies clapping together.

You thrusted into her as hard as you could. The room felt cold because of the rain outside, but you and Jinsol were drenched in sweat from the heat your bodies were producing. How Jinsol was moaning because of your dick, how warm and tight she was, how her breasts were jiggling up and down while you thrust into her, all of it was too much for you to handle.

“Harder…” she said, sweat dripping off her body and onto the bed sheets. Her eyes slowly began to droop lazily as she struggled to stay conscious.

“You’re so fucking deep, baby. Oh my god...” She cried out, surprising the both of you as she was still able to form coherent sentences. Eventually, that same sensation in her stomach came to her once more.

“Baby, I’m cumming again!” Jinsol screamed.

“Cum…I’m cumming too, noona!” Your words came out in between each breath.

“Yes, cum inside your noona baby!”

Jinsol’s loud screams and your harsh groans reverberated around the apartment as you fucked her until the pressure building inside you released. You suddenly felt a knot in your stomach, marking your inevitable end. You kissed Jinsol before you exploded all your load into her warm cavern, causing her to have another orgasm. You slowed down your pace and thrust deeper into her so your cum can reach deeper into her cunt. Both of your toes curled from the pleasure as your cock throbbed and released several weaker thrusts inside Jinsol. Her body was still shaking from the aftershocks when her body collapsed on top of yours, your cock still inside her.

After a minute of Jinsol milking everything out from your cock, you pulled out from her, watching how the mixture of your cum and her juices was leaking out from Jinsol’s delicious pussy. You laid down beside her, breathing heavily with your cock glistening in the nighttime light.

“Baby, that was amazing. You fucked me so well.”

“Yeah, it felt great…”

“Uhh, noona? Are you okay? I kinda smacked your ass hard just now.” You asked quickly after, a bit concerned after what you did to her.

“Ahh you’re so silly, baby. Of course I’m okay! I love it when you smack my ass.” Jinsol laughed after her statement. The room went quiet for a moment.

“Noona?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Do you really love me? Not just because I’m good at sex?”

“Baby, I have loved you since the beginning. Not because you have a big dick or you were so good at eating my pussy. It’s because I love your personality and how great of a guy you are. The other things are just a plus.” Jinsol said while staring at you. You were staring at the ceiling to avoid meeting her gaze out of embarrassment.

“…Thanks, noona.” You slowly looked at Jinsol and hugged her. Jinsol reciprocates the hug while smiling. After hugging, you looked into each other's eyes. You both then kissed passionately, not caring what the consequences that the both of you were going to face. After a tender makeout that somehow lasted thirty minutes, Jinsol speaks up.

“Now, let’s clean up, shall we?” You both got off the bed and Jinsol dragged you by the hand into the shower of your room. She turns the shower heads on before stepping into the bathtub and holding onto your hand for you to enter as well.

The warm water calms down your aching muscles from the act earlier, giving you a sense of relaxation. It then becomes scalding hot, making you remember how much Jinsol loved hot showers. Once both of you were fully wet, she grabbed the nearby loofah and poured some body wash onto it. A lightbulb was turned on in Jinsol’s head, and so she decided to put on an erotic show for you by lathering up her deceptively curvy body with the soapy loofah. Her hands went up to her breasts, groping them gently and teasing her nipples until she felt your cock becoming hard again in between her thighs due to the close proximity between you two.

“Baby, you just came two times and you’re already this hard again?” She teased, biting her lower lip.

“I can’t help myself when there’s a beautiful naked woman with me in the shower.” You replied, making Jinsol blush.

“Alright, let’s clean you up.” 

Jinsol took her time in washing you, making sure every inch of your skin is covered in the lavender scented body wash. As she traces the loofah, drawing her name on your chest and down to your stomach, she stops on your lower body. Holding your cock in her hands, she runs the loofah across it, creating a tingling sensation in your body. Jinsol smiled as she slowly began to stroke you while softly biting your nipples. You let out a moan because of the stimulation and slowly move backwards until your legs bump into the edge of the tub, making you sit down on the cold and slippery surface. Then, Jinsol straddles your lap and your hard cock pressed against her stomach as she gave you another passionate, lust-filled kiss.

You finally break the kiss when you both feel too lightheaded and need oxygen. Jinsol does her best to catch her breath, her pink lips slightly puffy and her cheeks flushed. She was the most beautiful woman in the world in your eyes and there was nothing that could change that.

“I thought we were gonna get clean-ahh…” You were cut off by Jinsol’s lips finding their way to the place where your lower jaw and neck meet, nibbling on the skin as she leaves hickeys behind, marking you as hers.

“But I want you so bad, baby.” She murmured just loud enough for you to hear, causing goosebumps to form on your body and your cock to throb against her stomach.

Wrapping her arms around your neck, Jinsol lowers her body as she guides your cock back inside her. The two of you moaned as she slowly lowered herself onto you until she had reached your base completely. Jinsol watched you close your eyes as her tight, velvety walls wrap themselves tightly around you once more. She began bouncing her body up and down, her ass jiggling each time. Her body unconsciously tightens her muscles around you, providing a feeling you couldn’t put into words.

“Noona…do that again.” You breathlessly said.

Jinsol clenched her vaginal muscles around your cock again, tightening you in a firm grip and earning herself your cries of pleasure.

Your hands rested on her cheeks once more, watching Jinsol bounce on your lap. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head when you accidentally discovered a certain sensitive spot within her. With each roll of your hips, you make sure to hit that pressure point.

“Fuck, that feels so fucking good.” She moaned when you took her erect nipples inside your mouth, gently biting on them and mirroring what she did to you.

“Yes baby…” She said as her stomach began to feel heavy, the knot inside her twisting. You continue pounding her newfound sensitive spot, feeling Jinsol’s sharp nails raking your back with scratches as her body trembles with an arriving orgasm.

“Baby!” She screamed repeatedly. You continued rocking Jinsol back and forth and side to side as a way to prolong the duration of her impending orgasm.

“Baby, please...” She begged, blowing hot air gently into your ear and encouraging you to keep going. 

Her eyes fully rolled back into her head as your hips crashed against hers. The water was no longer burning hot, but neither of you cared about the temperature change - only focusing on each other. Jinsol felt so comfortable on your lap and in your arms that her eyes began drooping.

“N-Noona, I’m cumming!” You said, the only semblance of a warning as you made a powerful thrust deep inside her pussy. Your cock throbs as her tight, velvety walls clamped onto your dick. You began pouring hot, thick semen inside Jinsol which once again causes her own orgasm to occur. Both of you are moaning loudly in satisfaction.

“Ahh fuck baby...” Jinsol moaned as it seemed like her body’s default reaction to her orgasms was for her eyes to roll to the back of her head. Her body wriggles in pleasure as she continues lacing together incoherent moans and explicit syllables that made no sense.

Slowly lifting up her hips, you watched as thick gobs of your semen and her juices slowly dripped out of her freshly fucked pussy. You were surprised you were still able to release such a large amount of cum due to your two orgasms that you had earlier. When the two of you are finished, you both catch your breath as she leaned down and gave you tender, passionate kisses. Jinsol is fully satisfied, happy to be in your arms again. But this time, it had a different, a more special meaning. 

After spending two hours having sex in the shower that ended up being dirtier rather than getting clean, you and Jinsol quickly get dressed to go to Seoul to drop her off because she had planned to go shopping with your mom. She didn’t bring any clothes with her, so she borrowed some of yours. She wore one of your hoodies and a pair of shorts that complimented her figure nicely. When she came out from your room after dressing up, you instantly chuckled at how cute she looked wearing your clothes.

“You look so cute, noona!”

“Of course, your noona looks good in everything. Let’s go now, I don’t wanna be late.”

“Okay Jingolas-nim!” You said to her and opened the front door for her. She just glared cutely at you and went out the door. Meanwhile, you smiled, thinking how your life is complete with the newfound existence of an intimate relationship with your stepsister, Jung Jinsol.

[anistarrose]

Warm Memories (Forduary Week 1 - Comfort)

Summary: Lost in an icy wasteland, Ford searches for shelter and finds nothing.

Word Count: ~3000

Warnings: suicidal thoughts (specifically pertaining to martyrdom), hypothermia, near-death experiences

For @forduary Week 1: Comfort! 

(You might be able to tell that I started this last week, during the great US Midwest Polar Vortex Apocalypse.)

There’s a sliver of exposed skin between Ford’s goggles and his hood — just one tiny gap that lets the ice-cold wind slip though, biting and stinging at his face until tears fill his eyes. He turns away from the direction of the strongest gusts, and unties the piece of cloth he’d wrapped over his mouth and nose, trying to adjust it — but his fingers have grown numb, and the wind tears the fabric out of his clumsy hands.

The stinging spreads all across his face from the goggles down, and he struggles to refrain from licking his lips — it’s tempting to bring warmth to his face for even just a moment, but he knows it would only let more and more crystals of ice form in the end. He tries to raise an arm to cover his nose, but he has to lower it instantly in order to keep his balance in the wind. If he falls into a snowdrift, he’s afraid he’ll never be able to get up again.

Desperately, he scans the area for some form of shelter, even though he knows he won’t see anything. The wind practically lifts entire snowdrifts into the air, creating a void of eerie, all-consuming white, and his goggles are growing foggy too, making him even more blind to his surroundings. Though he’s afraid to know the answer, he can’t help but wonder how long it’ll be before his own tears freeze.

He takes a breath, and it feels like he inhales more snow than air. He coughs and spits, desperate to get the cold out of his throat and his lungs, but the moisture just splatters all over his face and solidifies in an instant, tracing frozen rivers down from his mouth to his chin.

He tries to take a step forward, but doesn’t feel anything — not even the lurch of falling forward into a snowdrift. He isn’t even sure if he’s even standing up, he realizes, or if he’s already fallen down but been too numb to notice. His eyes, his ears, his sense of touch — all of them rendered useless by this roaring, numbing white void of a storm.

A distant, robotic-sounding voice in the back of his head rattles off symptoms of hypothermia:

Loss of coordination. Dizziness. Weak pulse. Memory loss.

Ford takes — tries — to take a breath.

Shallow breathing.

Loss of consciousness.

Death.

There’s no denying it anymore.

I am going to die here.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him. It’s a miracle he’s even survived so long beyond the portal in the first place — he’s been accepting this as inevitable for over a year now.

But some part of him — a foolish part of him, maybe, but also a part of that kept him kicking, fighting, alive — has hoped that that inevitability would only come after confronting Bill again, after saving the universe from the demon he’d aided, after undoing his own worst mistake. He’s hoped for his death to be a noble sacrifice, a worthy trade for the safety he’d bring to the multiverse — not a slow fade to white in an unnamed wasteland, body doomed to be buried under snow and forgotten.

And only now does he let himself admit it, but another part of him has always hoped he wouldn’t die all alone. He doesn’t want to disappear forever into an empty white void, he doesn’t want to die without saying goodbye, without saying he was sorry…

“Stanley,” he whispers, “I… I didn’t…”

He can’t get the last few words out.

He can hear noises, but he doesn’t want to get up. It’s so warm where he is, so wonderfully warm and comfortable, and he doesn’t want to shift his blankets around and let even one single joule’s worth of that warmth escape…

Wait, warmth? Blankets? How…

He opens his eyes, and takes a moment to recognize the crackling fire a few feet away from him. Some sort of kettle is suspended over it, spewing steam and a sweet, familiar scent that makes his mouth water. He can’t help but lick his chapped lips again, and they don’t freeze this time.

He looks down at his own body, relieved to find all his limbs seemingly intact and un-frostbitten. There are no blankets, but he is draped in a new cloak that’s a bit thicker than his old one, and feels like it has a larger hood as well. He tries to curl and uncurl his fingers and is struck with a jolt of panic when he finds that he can’t, but when he lifts his hands up to look at them, he realizes why: his outer pair of gloves have been removed, but taped to the fingers of the inner pair are chemical hand warmer packs, each radiating a gentle heat that melts away the numbness.

He looks around the… house? No, it’s really more of a shed — just a few cushioned chairs and a table, a stone-ringed fire pit, and one lonely cabinet. The thin walls are made of a material that looks like normal wood, but must be somehow different, because it seems to be insulating the little space much better than wood should be able to.

“Storm’s over,” a gruff voice announces from behind him, and he jumps. He’s about to make a break for the door when it continues:

“Hey there, buddy, don’t freak out. If I wanted you dead, I wouldn’t have hauled your heavy ass half a mile out of a snowstorm.”

The speaker gives Ford a wide berth as he approaches the fire pit and removes the kettle. He looks like a human, albeit a human with odd fashion choices — his graying hair is pulled into a long, ragged ponytail, and despite being inside, he still wears a pair of goggles over his eyes. Strangest of all, he’s wearing Ford’s old cloak.

“Who exactly are you?” Ford blurts out. He wants to trust this stranger, he wishes he could, but it would be just like Bill to try and to capture him alive just to gloat —

“I’m just a wanderer,” the man answers. “A lot like you, I’m guessing.”

The man’s words are fairly upbeat, but even with his eyes obscured, the frown that crosses his face lends a sad feeling to his words — a homesick feeling, maybe. But it disappears in an instant, and with a smile, he asks Ford:

“So, you want hot chocolate?”

Any beverage could be poisoned or spiked with truth serum or who knows what, but Ford’s still craving all the warmth he can get, so he nods. The stranger pours him a mug, and then procures a small, transparent bag from his supply pack.

“Marshmallows?”

“Uh… no, thank you.”

“More for me, then.” The stranger dumps mini-marshmallows into a second cup until it’s about half full, and then uses hot chocolate to fill in the rest. Just looking at it makes Ford feel like puking, but he slips his hands out of the taped-up gloves and wraps them around the warm mug that he’s offered.

“Don’t spill it, okay? You can get chocolate in damn near every dimension, but you’d be surprised how much I have to pay for some half-decent milk from a normal Earth cow. This is good shit, and I don’t wanna waste it.”

Ford takes a sip. It really is good — and not just that, but familiar, exactly the same as he remembers it tasting back home. Maybe it’s a little sweeter than he prefers, but the chocolate is rich and the milk gives it a creamy texture he didn’t realize he’d missed so much. It takes him back to the days before he was allowed to drink coffee, the winter days when he and Stanley would come inside after getting into a snowball fight and warm up with the hot chocolate Shermie would make them…

The stranger’s words finally sink in. “You’re from Earth?” Ford asks.

“Not your Earth,” the man tells him, surprising Ford with an almost eerie confidence. “But yeah, an Earth. And a pretty similar one to yours, I’m guessing.”

He picks up his mug and swirls it around a bit, as if waiting for the marshmallows to melt, and takes a sip.

“You didn’t leave your dimension too long ago, did you?” he asks.

“About a year and a half,” Ford answers. It might be exactly a year and a half, for all he knows — every once in a while, he’ll forget whether he marked down the day or not, and by now he figures his count is only accurate to within about a month. “What about you?”

“Seventeen or eighteen years, lost track.” The man chuckles bitterly. “Honestly? I hope it’s eighteen. Gives me a better excuse for all the things I forgot.”

“Forgot?”

“Yeah, I just… forget the little things. Those little nice, warm memories, like… how bacon tastes. My first girlfriend’s phone number. The name of the one teacher I didn’t hate in middle school. The plot twist that got me hooked on that one comic I could never quite catch up on, no matter how much I would save up to buy the new issues —”

“The way the air smells right after it rains,” Ford blurts out. “I haven’t been to one dimension yet where it’s the same.”

For a moment the stranger is quiet and Ford thinks speaking up was a mistake, but then the man quietly adds: “That smell of oil when you give your car a tune up all on your own, and you make a mess but you’re so proud of learning how to do it yourself. Oil just doesn’t smell the same anywhere else, either.”

“The sound of coffee brewing. No one has coffee pots quite like Earth’s.”

“Complimentary bread at restaurants. How am I supposed to just eat a whole basket of bread and sneak out without paying when they don’t even give me complimentary bread?”

“The feeling of writing with a good quill pen.”

“The color of the bike I learned to ride on.”

“The name of the store I always bought jellybeans from as a kid.”

The stranger seems like he’s about to say something, but then he just looks down and rests his head in his hands. “Guess it happens sooner than I realized,” he finally murmurs. “I’m… I’m sorry, kid. I hope you find your way back soon. I wouldn’t wish this life I’m stuck with on anyone.” He adds something else under his breath, but it’s hard to make out.

Ford doesn’t know what to say. He has no idea how to comfort this man, not when his way of grappling with the same feelings has been to simply give up on ever getting home — and he’s not going to tell the man who saved his life that the only thing he’s really letting himself hope for is dying in a blaze of glory to take down the monster he helped create.

So he just replies: “Thank you for saving me. And for the hot chocolate.”

The stranger shrugs awkwardly. “If you’re feeling better, I guess… I guess we should probably go our separate ways and all soon. I’ve got what feels like half the multiverse after my ass, and I don’t wanna make you a target for them.”

“It must be the other half that’s after my ass,” Ford remarks, deadpan, and the stranger stifles a laugh.

“Yeah, and I we probably don’t want them joining forces or anything, do we? There’s a place where a bunch of portals pop up only about a mile south of here — you feeling good enough to use snowshoes?”

“I’ll be fine. Are you staying here?”

“No, I’m ditching this place too. Already been here for about a week, which is kinda pushing my luck as far as getting tracked down by space cops goes.”

“I assume you’ll want your coat back, then.” Ford starts pulling it off, but the stranger raises a hand.

“No, you keep mine and I’ll keep yours. Mine’s warmer and you look like you really need it, while I’ve got a bunch of layers under here.You should put your gloves back on, though — they’re drying out somewhere over here.”

He makes no comment on the numbers of fingers on the gloves as he rummages around, which should be a relief but just makes Ford uneasy instead. There’s no way the stranger hasn’t noticed by now, so why stay quiet? Even the most otherwise polite people, Ford has seen, have no reservations about blurting out their questions to him — so why not this man? He seems more genuinely well-intentioned than just about anyone Ford has met since the portal, but there’s also something off about him, something different about him, that Ford just can’t put his finger on…

The stranger tosses Ford the gloves and chugs the rest of his hot chocolate.

“Start bundling up,” he says, wiping a pale brown moustache off of his face. “The wind’s gone, but it’s still cold as balls out there.”

He frowns, looking concerned. “You know, if you don’t feel up to it, we can wait. I’m sure no one’s gonna come and try to kill us if we sit around for another hour —”

“No, I’m ready,” Ford replies. “Let’s go.”

***

The hike is uneventful, with little conversation besides a brief discussion of favorite foods from Earth — bacon for the stranger, coffee for Ford — and then a slightly longer, more heated discussion about whether coffee counts as a food. When they reach the portal hub, it feels like they’ve arrived too quickly.

Ford’s going to miss having company.

“So. Guess this is it.” The stranger gives a quick look-over to a diamond-shaped rift that glows purple as it flickers open near him, and steps towards it so that he’s only a few feet away. “Stay safe, good luck, don’t do anything dumb — like I said, I hauled you out of a snowstorm, and I don’t want all that work to end up worthless ‘cause you get yourself killed ten seconds after you leave my sight.”

“I’ll try my best not to die. Thank you again, and…” Part of Ford wants to ask for a name, but he has a hunch he won’t get one, so instead he asks: “Do you want your snowshoes back?”

“Nah, keep ‘em. I just stole ‘em from a random stranger about a week ago — I’ve got no emotional attachment.”

“Alright, then I suppose this is goodbye…” As the man turns to leave, Ford fiddles with his cloak out of habit, pressing his fingers against the area that should conceal an interior pocket. He’s expecting to feel a stiff, rectangular piece of paper bending under his touch — but he doesn’t, because of course, the stranger has it now, how could I forget about —

Desperately, he grabs the man’s wrist. “No, wait! I — I need my coat back!”

The stranger stops just inches from the portal and turns back around to look at Ford. “Seriously? This thing could close any second —”

“Just — please! I need it! It’s — it’s something important to me!”

“You were fine with switching coats back at the cabin! What’s so important that —”

“It isn’t the actual coat,” Ford explains hurriedly. “It’s something in one of the pockets. I almost forgot about it, but… but please, I really —”

The stranger slowly moves a hand under his coat, and towards the interior pocket positioned right over his heart. His expression goes completely blank as he pulls out a worn photograph and stares at it, eyes still obscured by goggles and completely unreadable —

“It’s… it’s me and my brother.” Ford can’t see the picture itself, but he’s brought it out of that same pocket on enough bleak, homesick days to have every detail committed to memory. “I’m sorry for making such a — such a fuss about it, but I’d really like it back, if you could…”

The stranger still doesn’t reply, though Ford can swear his hands are shaking.

Maybe… maybe he hasn’t seen any pictures of Earth in a long time? Or maybe he has a family of his own that it reminds him of?

“Are — are you alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean —”

The man finally returns the picture, pressing it into Ford’s hand — but before Ford can even breathe a sigh of relief, he’s pulled into a tight hug. Head resting over Ford’s shoulder, the stranger lets out a warm laugh, just as warm as the embrace — and not just warm, but familiar, too.

“If I can survive this long,” the stranger assures him, “so can you.” He steps back, and gives Ford a wide smile.

“Knock ‘em dead, Sixer.”

Ford’s no longer trapped in the hug, but he still can’t move. He can hardly breathe.

“Stanley?!”

He reaches out towards the parallel version of his twin, but Stan has already turned and stepped into the portal. He gives Ford a thumbs up as he flickers out of sight, and the gateway blinks closed after him, leaving Ford behind all alone —

No, not alone. He’s left behind with a pair of snowshoes, a coat, a picture…

And a new reminder of what home feels like.

***

(Stan barely even sees the figure collapsing in the storm in the first place, and he very nearly decides not to help. For all he knows, it might be a bounty hunter — or even worse — and they might turn on him the second he brings them to safety. He’s already stuck around in this dimension for far too long — no matter how he looks at it, it’s just not worth the risk.

But when he turns the body over and sees his brother’s unconscious face staring back at him, just as young as it had been when they’d fought in ‘82 and turning blue from the cold, he’s so, so thankful that he’s never been anything if not a gambler with an oversized heart.)

***

Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always!

[aliviachan]

Valentine's Day Fails

Hey! So I wrote a V-Day fic that went along with my 100 Prompts Challenge thing! It was for: #1 “That’s starting to get annoying.”

Summary: 

Derek does his best to survive at his job. He does. Hell, he even refrains from ripping out customers throats with his teeth when the situation clearly warrants it. The only thing that makes it all worth it is a pair of honey eyes and a splattering constellation of moles. Oh, and it’s Valentine's Day. 

AO3

Derek hated his job. He hated the people. He hated his boss. And above all, he hated having to spend his Saturday mornings standing in front of a cash register while pumpkin spice forced its way into his senses. Although he hated everything associated with the little coffee shop, there was one thing that made it all worthwhile. 

“Uhm…mornin’,” the beautiful specimen with honey eyes and a constellation of moles dotted across his face muttered as he approached the counter. His hair was disheveled, and Derek had to resist the urge to shove his nose against his neck. “I’ll have the double chocolate chip frappuccino with white cheesecake, one shot espresso, no two. You know what? Might as well make it three.” And as if on cue the man tips his head back as he let out an almighty yawn.

There’s a story there, but Derek doesn’t know how to ask for it. Instead, he takes the crumpled five dollar bill before dutifully beginning to work on the sugary drink.

By now it was almost part of Derek’s routine to make this drink. He’d pour all the liquids into the cup to make one sugary concoction that would leave his fingers and palms sticky until he got the chance to wash them. The line would build up by three people, and maybe one or two would start getting pissy. Derek would scribble the name ‘Steve’ on the cup unceremoniously, and carefully slide the drink toward the man, as he tried to ignore how fast his heart was beating. It would all be worth it, however, once the man took his first sip, only to let out a moan that would even be too sinful for the devil himself to hear.

Derek’s mind would go blank for the splittest of seconds before his boss would yell for him to hurry up with the line.

What could he say? Derek was a weak man.

+

Steve came to the coffee shop every Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday from noon to near close. He’d read his thick textbooks, or type a mile a minute on his laptop while consuming his beverage of choice.

Derek, being the creeper that he was, watched with flushed cheeks as Steve’s pretty pink lips wrapped around the straw. His cute little cupid’s bow would thin out as Steve savored every drop of the frappuccino.

“You're gross,” Isaac said from beside him, causing Derek to startle at his presence. Rolling his eyes, Isaac wiped down his counter a few times before huffing. “You smell like a high school’s locker room. Knock it off and go clean something you perv.”

Glaring at the curly haired teen, Derek snatched the towel from his hand as he made his way to the kitchen. He spared a glance over his shoulder at Steve and promptly ran into the pull door when a little bit of the creamy colored drink spilled out from the side of his mouth. +

‘Today was the day!’ Derek chanted to himself as he fussed with the single rose and small box of chocolates that he stealthily hid behind the counter. Boyd and Erica were both out for the day, and even Isaac had a date planned for Valentines Day. Meaning, Derek was left all alone to hold down the shop, which also meant he could freely put his plan in motion without the fear of being teased by his friends.

The front door chimed open, and in came Steve and a pretty redhead.

"I mean, who needs that many flowers?” Steve exclaimed with his arms flailing each and every way. “That’s starting to get annoying and let's not forget desperate. Who even agreed to invite Valentine's day? Where they all just like, ‘I know, let's have a holiday to mis-teach young people what love is, entice them to be greedy and inculcate insecurity. It's a great idea, and we'll sell more crap they never needed; think of the economy. All those cards, chocolates, sweat-shop lingerie items in chemical dyed tissue’!"

The both of them get in line, and Derek was building up to a freakout as the customer in front of narrowed her eyes and repeated her order to regain Derek’s attention. Snapping out of his haze, Derek quickly typed in her very pricey drink and took her card before dealing with the next customer, until the only people left where another girl then Steve and his friend.

“Derek! Have you seen my phone? I must have left it here last— oooh, what is this?!”

Turning around, Derek stared wide-eyed at Erica as she held up the flower and box of chocolates. He paled and nearly died from embarrassment as Erica crooned as she dug around in search of a card or something else equally as embarrassing.

“Is this for Steve? You finally grew some balls when none of us are here to witness it? That’s low Derek, and I’m going to tell Laura on you.” Erica threatened and glared at him warningly.

Derek thinks that would be the end of it, but of course, it wasn’t. He watched with horrified eyes as Erica’s nostrils flared before a mischievous look glinted in her eyes. Reaching out the grab her, Derek growled as the blonde slipped past his fingers. Blushing would have been no problem, but what Derek did was go as red as a beetroot and radiate heat like a hot pan. You could have cooked a three-course meal on his face. No-one could have missed it. He wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He wished to 'do a Daphne' and drop through a scooby-doo style trap door in the floor, but there was no rescue from this embarrassment, it was absolute. Torture. Utter humiliation. The memory would be seared into Derek’s brain forever, ready to pop up and torment him again when he’s ever in a quiet moment.

“Yo, Stevie!” Erica singsonged. “My best friend in the whole wide world is smitten with you, but very socially awkward. He was going to give you these, but I could tell that he was going to chicken out, so I’m doing it for him. Happy Valentine's day!”

Bright brown eyes looked at the rose as if it had suddenly grown wings. “That’s...not my name?” It came out like a question, but Derek watched in mortified amazement as Apparently-Not-Steve took the gifts. “I’m Stiles.”  

“You’re not...what do you mean you’re not Steve? He’s been calling you that for months now!” Erica exclaimed. “Derek, how could you not know his name?” She directed the last question to Derek without taking her eyes off of Ste-Stiles.

Derek opened and closed his mouth a few times before scurrying off to make the drinks that the other customers were still waiting for. Happy for the escape, Derek avoided eye contact as Erica talked to ‘Stiles’ and his friend.

“Uh...hey,” Stiles said, pulling Derek away from his frazzled tasking. “So...you want me to be your valentine?

A range of emotions passed across his face before he stops on a guarded frown. He didn’t think that SteveStiles would be the type to make fun of someone who had a crush on him, but Derek wasn’t a fan of being this vulnerable. Stiles seemed to realize that Derek wouldn’t be saying anything anytime soon and decided to power through.

“Well, that’s cool. I mean I've been crushing on you for awhile, and I thought it was painfully one-sided, and now that I know it’s not, I’m very much relieved, but at the same time I have no idea what to do.”  Stiles confessed with a troubled pout on his face. “I mean I’ve been coming here for weeks and all of this coffee is really cutting into my budget, but it’s just been an excuse to come see you again, and now that I say it out loud I realize how pathetic that sounds. Then there’s that fact that—”

“You like me?” Derek’s face was filled with awe as a smile slowly pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Like, seriously?”

“Dude, have you seen you? Plus you wasted your hard earned money on capitalist bullshit, and based on that, I’m just going to assume that you are a secret softy.” Stiles said with a lopsided grin on his face.

“I’m not a softy,” he said a bit too petulantly to be believable. A permanent smile was on his face by now, and any chances there were of him killing Erica were slowly fading.

“Mmmm,” Stiles leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on Derek’s cheek. “Whatever you say, big guy.”

A blush was on both of their cheeks, and Derek kind of felt disappointed that Stiles had kissed his cheek instead of somewhere else. “We could...I mean..if you wanted to we could go...somewhere.”

“Are you asking me on a Valentine's date?”

“Trying to at least.”

Stiles smiled brightened up the room, and Derek felt himself being gravitated towards him. It’s strange – frightening even – how you can go from someone being a complete stranger to then being entirely infatuated by them and wondering how it ever was that you were able to function without them because you sure as hell couldn’t imagine being without them now.

Side Note: If anyone has a request for anything don’t be afraid to send it in. Just give me the number from the list you're interested in and then, if you want to, add whatever other requests you want it to have in the fic (i.e., if you want it angsty or werefox!Stiles, etc.) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[trashbrigade]

THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments, etc.) about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time. (I’m sorry, but I promised someone this would be an item.) Submit an image of the first post and then a link to this post in the COMMENT field of the submit page so we can check to make sure you “published” the whole thing.

The Best Way to Get Pregnant for the 10th Time: A Gishwhes Essay by Team Trashbrigade.

Getting pregnant for the tenth time is obviously a highly admirable and esteemed endeavor. However, there are many precautions that must be taken in order to ensure that it is done safely. This is not something to be taken lightly by any means and requires both strong commitment and a dedication to best practices.

Getting knocked up is, of course, a most memorable occasion. Whether because this moment is exactly what you’ve always wanted or because it is hands down the most horrifying experience of your entire life, there’s no doubt that it will be a red letter day on your calendar.

It goes without saying that you will want to prepare yourself before getting pregnant no matter whether it’s your first attempt or any subsequent one. While the first nine times are wonderful, there’s just something extra special about the tenth time. Maybe because it’s double digits; that’s always exciting.  To make this tenth time as magical as it can be, you need to devote some time and energy to doing it as effectively as possible. This means getting yourself ready in all ways that one can prepare: Physically, mentally (sometimes known as emotionally), and, of course, adverbally.

Let’s focus in on one of these to begin with and talk about physical preparation for a bit. Your body is a temple. Also a synagogue. Not to mention a mosque. Most definitely a church. Sometimes even a cathedral, depending on the time of the month. Because of that, you must treat it with both care and reverence. What does that look like? Let’s start with nutrition. Nutrition refers to all of the food items you put into your body. These food items come in a number of categories such as healthy, somewhat healthy, less healthy than that, and Kentucky Fried Chicken. For optimal pregnancy achieving, you should try to limit yourself to Kentucky Fried Chicken to maybe six times a week. To shake things up a bit, consider adding in Taco Bell on the seventh day. Similar to the way that God created human on the 7th day, you yourself are looking to create life, so you may find an excellent choice to be a Gordita which is shaped and stuffed like a taco, similar to the way you’ll be wanting to…never mind. Helpful hint for someone like you looking at your tenth time being pregnant: If you’re hoping for twins, a Doubledilla is the obvious choice.       

Next, let us examine drinks which fall under the category of nutrition as they are a subset of things you can put in your mouth. Drinks have the added benefit of not needing teeth, unless, of course, you make the dire mistake of choosing bubble tea. If you aren’t familiar with bubble tea, it is a vile substance that was clearly created by Satan himself. Imagine this: It’s a hot day. You’re tired. You’ve been working up a sweat trying to conceive…of what to have for dinner. So, you think to yourself, “Self, I could really go for a cool, refreshing sweet treat.” Suddenly you see it: a sign for bubble tea! “I love tea,” you think to yourself. “Also bubbles! Although I’m not sure why the two are combined on this sign. Hey, maybe the tea is somehow carbonated! That sounds super refreshing! Count me in!”

By now you are nodding your head excitedly because you are practically guaranteed the most delicious treat of your life. Also, you seem a little revved up already because those were an awful lot of exclamation points, so maybe try the decaf. Pro tip: when you have bun number ten in the over, which is precisely what this essay is about, you will be glad that you took the time to switch over to decaffeinated beverages.

Ok, so. Bubble tea. Oh, right. So, you’ll order yourself a nice big glass of it and maybe the friendly bubble tea employee will say something friendly like “How about extra boba?” and you’ll open your eyes wide and agree because even though you might not know what boba is, you’re quite sure that “extra” is always a good thing. Plus, the friendly bubble tea employee bears a slight resemblance to well-known CW actor Misha Collins and for some reason you feel like whatever he suggests you should simply do, without bothering to question why first.

And now, after a pregnant pause (did you see what I did there? Did you?) during which he makes your drink, the bubble tea is handed to you. With a wink of his startlingly blue eyes, he passes it over and you have to actively stop yourself from smiling broadly so that you can take that first sip. Ahhh, bliss! Cold and sweet and creamy and WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. You choke and sputter and gag. Something gloppy and slimy has suddenly entered your mouth and, as you know from already having been pregnant nine times, that is not going to help you with number ten. Too polite to spit it on the floor, since the handsome fellow is still watching you, you gag it down, trying hard not to think about how utterly consistent in texture that tapioca ball is with a glob of mucous. Like, probably the exact same consistency as a mucous plug, a thing with  which you are no doubt intimately familiar by now. That’s what’s in your mouth. That’s what you paid your hard earned money for. Money that could be used for prenatal vitamins which are vitally important and should be taken before and during each and every pregnancy whether it’s your first or your tenth.

Nutshell: hydration is important but bubble tea is a last resort.

Next on our list is preparing oneself emotionally. Proper mindset for pregnancy is one of those things they don’t always teach you about in all of those books you’ve no doubt bought and read with a horrified look on your face. (I still remember the book I read during my first pregnancy when I was feeling the need to hoover up every bit of food in a tri-county are. It suggested snacking on “a healthy oatmeal cookie”. Please note the use of the word “a”. As in a single, solitary oatmeal cookie. Like that was going to do the trick. I set fire to that book and used it to toast marshmallows for s’mores.)

If this is your tenth time being pregnant, you are well familiar with the emotional highs and lows inherent in all phases of this process. You know that you’ll be tired and elated and nauseated and glowing and irritable and weepy and hopeful and invigorated, sometimes all within the span of five to seven minutes. There is no avoiding any of this so really, the main thing to do is make sure that you are in a completely self-centered mindset. This tenth time being pregnant is all about YOU.  To ensure that, there is a no-fail way to prepare and that is by giving yourself everything your little heart desires. Examples? I’ve got plenty of them! Invest in a comfy recliner to rest your weary bones and put up your aching feet. Splurge on a new piece of jewelry that makes you feel special and attractive. Don’t tolerate things that make you feel frustrated or unappreciated. Want to be next in line for the gas pump? Lay on your horn until the cars in front of you move. Tired of waiting in line for that (calcium heavy, decaf) drink at Starbucks? Start swinging your purse around your head like a lasso until people clear out. Have you had it with those people who just STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF TRADER JOES AND BLOCK THE ENTIRE AISLE WITH THEIR CARTS? Grip your cart handle tightly, take a few steps backwards to build up some momentum, and then RAM them out of your way with your grocery cart. In this way, you and your cart have developed a symbiotic relationship and this is extremely good practice emotionally for you as you prepare to have a bat in your cave for the tenth time.

As a review, the two we’ve discussed thus far are physical preparedness and emotional preparedness which is also sometimes known as mental preparedness. Now, sometimes it’s best to find situations where you can combine all of these areas of preparation. Let’s look at the following scenario: You and your significant other go out for a nice dinner. Maybe it’s Indian food. Maybe you order one of those nice big meals that come thali style so you got pickles and daal and rice and raita and maybe even a little bit of soup along with your entrée. That’s a lot of food, but that’s ok because soon you will have a pea in the pod for the tenth time and you need to practice eating for as many people as you can get away with.

But sometimes what happens in these situations is that you forget exactly how much food comes with those thali dishes and you decide that what you really need is an order of samosas as well. Because they’re so crisp and delicious and even though you burn the roof of your mouth on the steaming hot filling every single time no matter how often you tell yourself that THIS TIME you’re totally going to wait until they cool down a bit first, they were going to complete your meal in a way that nothing else could. But you’re not pregnant yet, so you wisely decide to hold back a samosa to take home for tomorrow because that’s just good planning and by God, if there’s one thing you’re good at, it’s planning. So, into the refrigerator it goes, happily tucked into its own little Styrofoam container, nestled down to wait for you silently until morning. You’ve even labelled the container with your name. In block letters. In Sharpie.

You go to bed dreaming not only of your upcoming tenth pregnancy but of that delicious morsel awaiting you the next day. When that new day dawns, you rise with the sun and pitter patter down the stairs. The day is filled with excitement and potential! Maybe this is the day you become pregnant for the tenth time! With a smile on your face, you pull open the refrigerator to find….your samosa is gone. GONE. Even though your NAME was on it. In SHARPIE. Now, this should never be an issue in the first place. Because, as it is written in the Commandments of All Things That Are Holy, leftovers belong to the person who ordered them until they are given with express permission to others. Furthermore, once you begin messing with leftovers that are actually LABELLED you are pretty much taking your life in your hands.

And this is where the physical readiness comes into play. As a reaction to this absolutely sickening travesty of justice, you are now able to engage in some fantastic cardiovascular activity when you stomp back upstairs and confront your significant other. Make sure to keep your core tight as your march, swinging your arms forcefully for an additional upper body workout. Each step is an opportunity to tone those quads and strengthen your hamstrings. Once you are face to face with your significant other, be sure to focus on each individual muscle group, flexing and tightening as you engage in each angry gesture. If your energy begins to flag, remember your outrage! You have been wronged! Your sacred property has been usurped by an unabashed leftover-eating rapscallion. Let the fury flow through you until you are red-faced and sweating. Let your heart rate ascend to aerobic levels, as your body becomes more efficient at absorbing and transporting oxygen throughout.

When all is said and done, one thing is abundantly clear: Getting pregnant for the tenth time is definitely not happening tonight.  

[halloweentreat]

(I’m going to make this a submission because asks are so limited.)

I was in the exact same boat as you a few years ago, regarding tea. Coffee and tea were both way too bitter for me and tea only tasted like warm, watered down juice anyway, but I had always wanted to enjoy some kind of hot beverage that wasn’t super unhealthy, so I gave it some effort and now I’m enjoying the stuff.

This is my suggestion:

Start with a decaf fruit tea. LONDON Fruit & Herb Company’s decaf series would be great for this. Pick whatever sounds tasty to you. They have an apple & cinnamon one that’s probably great for the season.

This will help you get used to the sensation of drinking watered down juice. My suggestion here: don’t expect it to be something it’s not, because you’ll only be disappointed. This isn’t creamy hot chocolate. It is. Water. With flavour in it. Enjoy it as is. (Also these teas are usually very sweet anyway.)

Then, move on to a fruity WHITE tea. The difference between white and black tea is just as stark as their names suggest. White tea can be almost tasteless, depending on the brand and what it’s mixed with. What I suggest here is that you make sure you grab a tea flavoured with something you know you like already. You like strawberry? Get a white tea with strawberry. You like apricot? Get that. Make sure it’s a simple flavour combination for starters. If you can, read a few reviews or descriptions of the tea so you know what to look for as you taste it. If it says there’s a vanilla undertone, search for it. Sit down and focus on every sensation, undertone and aftertaste like how you’d study an artwork. It’ll teach you how to pick out different flavours and how to appreciate the blend, which is super important. Try at least 3 different white teas before you move on to…

Green teas. Green was once far too bitter for me, but by the time I tried a mild green tea, I was digging it! Maybe there’s a tea shop somewhere you can go and ask what their mildest green tea is? Tell them you’re adjusting to the bitterness of tea and they can find you one you like. By now, you should have enough experience to be able to tell easily what works for you and what doesn’t.

After a while you can move on to green/black combination blends and more eccentric spices and infusions.

Hopefully, at this point your palate will have adapted somewhat to the bitterness. I still can’t stand coffee, personally, and I’m very iffy about pure black tea as well, but it has become a lot better. It took me about a cup a week for a few months to reach this point.

Pro tip: make sure to read the instructions! Teas call for different water temperatures as well as steeping times. Too high temps or steeping for too long, makes the tea BITTER.

Pro tip II: only get loose leaf tea if you can, and if you’re lazy, get some of those disposable tea bags so you won’t have to mess with the infusers. They take forever to clean.

Pro tip III: enjoying tea is all about teaching yourself how to appreciate the blend. It’s something you’ll have to learn by doing, and reading reviews and also in depth descriptions of teas, will serve as great guides. How one type of green tea can have a dry aftertaste, while another is well rounded and gentle? What makes ‘white peony’ tea special? You’ll learn how to taste the difference, and then, you’ll learn how to truly enjoy a good cup of tea.

Pro tip IV: try all teas without sweeteners or milk. Drink at least two cups before you mix anything into it. And do try honey or brown sugar before anything else. It’s better to learn what the tea is supposed to taste like on its own before changing things up.

Pro tip V: there is a site called Adagio that features lots of in depth descriptions and blends, but what’s even better, is their fandom blends. There, people can make their own blends inspired by books, TV shows, movies, games, you name it. You can get little taste tins perfect for 10-15 cups, for only $5. Great way to taste many different things and figure out what you like.

One of my favourites from Adagio is this blend inspired by a game character. if you’d like more, just let me know and I can suggest a few. 

I hope this helps!

[duncanbarker-blog]

Admit it—you came to Italy to eat. It’s certainly the reason we’ve visited the country a dozen times and can’t stay away for long.

Eating in Italy is a serious business and the locals have strict food rules. You can find some of the best food in the world in Italy, but it’s also possible to pay over the odds for a disappointing meal. Visitors (especially Americans as the food culture is vastly different from the US) are often confused by aspects of dining in Italy and end up starving at 6pm or feeling ripped off.

By following these tips you’ll be able to avoid tourist traps, eat the best food in Italy, and avoid shocking any Italians along the way.

If you are wondering what to eat in Italy, I also share my favourite Italian dishes to try while you are there. 

Buon appetito!

This post was originally published in 2012 and was updated in 2019 after many more delicious trips to Italy.

Eating in Italy Key Facts

A menu at a restaurant in Tuscany

Here are the most important things you need to know when dining in Italy. 

Italian menus are divided into the following courses:

Antipasti – Appetisers such as bruschetta (toast with toppings), grilled and marinated vegetables, and meat and cheese platters. They can be quite filling (or absolutely humungous in Puglia and Basilicata) so we always share. Antipasti are often our favourite part of the meal as they are so diverse, feature regional specialities, and are often vegetable-heavy (less so in the north).

Primi – The first course consists of pasta, gnocchi, risotto, or a hearty soup (such as minestrone). Portions aren’t huge (usually), but it can be enough for a full meal (we usually get an antipasto as well). There are hundreds of pasta shapes in Italy so learn the regional specialities for your destination. Otherwise you might not recognise pasta on the menu as it will be called something like trofie (in Liguria) or orecchiette (in Puglia). 

Secondi  – The second course is meat or fish. It is just that—a slab of meat with nothing on the side. Very occasionally a restaurant will list a vegetarian secondo like an omelette or platter of grilled vegetables, but you’re better off sticking to the antipasti and primi. 

Contorni – Side dishes such as potatoes, french fries, grilled or fried vegetables, salad, and beans. If you want your meat or fish to have anything with it, you must order it separately. Note that salad will arrive after you’ve eaten your meat, but hot vegetables will come with it. Vegetarians can also make a meal from sides. Sometimes we order a side of grilled vegetables as an antipasto if there’s nothing else on the menu we want (or feel free to have some veg after pasta).

Dolci – Desserts. The menu is usually quite simple and will include fruit, gelato, a cake or tart, and a regional speciality. The creamy coffee flavoured dessert tiramisù is one of the most common desserts all over the country.  A cheaper alternative to dessert in a restaurant is heading to a gelateria and enjoying a cone on an evening stroll. 

Caffè – It’s very common to finish your meal with un caffè (espresso). It comes after dessert, not with it. 

Ricotta tart at Il Frantoio in Puglia

Italian dishes vary widely depending on the region. You can get pizza and pasta with tomato sauce everywhere, but don’t expect to find spaghetti carbonara in Puglia—stick to local dishes instead. I share some of my favourites at the end of this post. 

Opening hours at Italian restaurants are limited. They open for lunch between 12pm and 1pm and close between 2pm and 3pm. They open again for dinner at 7.30pm or 8pm (maybe 7pm for pizzerias). Make sure you plan for this when eating out in Italy. Grocery stores (except for major supermarkets) also close in the afternoon.

Below I’ve included tips on what to do if you get hungry in the afternoon or early evening (it’s a common problem for us!).  

When Eating in Italy

Do:

Eat gelato every day. It’s that good.

Look for the signs produzione propria and artigianale in gelaterias which means that the gelato is made on-site and in the old-fashioned way with natural ingredients.

Order more than one flavour of gelato. Even if you order a small size (which is usually plenty), you can choose two flavours. My personal favourite combination is pistachio and chocolate. 

Pistachio and chocolate gelato at Bloom in Modena. Note that the pistachio is not bright green!

Take a food tour to learn more about Italian food culture and get some local restaurant tips. We learned so much and ate so well on the Eating Italy Taste of Testaccio food tour in Rome (read our Eating Italy review). They also run delicious sounding food tours in Florence. Our Taste Bologna food tour was one of our favourite things to do in Bologna. 

On our Bologna food tour we saw tortellini being made in a local pasta shop

Read Eating My Way Through Italy by Elizabeth Minchelli which explores the differences between regional cuisines. It includes personal stories as well as practical tips and restaurant recommendations. I want to do her DIY pizza tour of Naples!

Avoid restaurants near major tourist attractions. If you do choose to eat on a popular piazza like Piazza Navona in Rome, accept that you are paying for the view and not for quality food. Perhaps just have a drink instead.

Try regional specialities. Do some research before you go or ask a local. Read about our favourites in Puglia, Liguria, Sicily, Tuscany, and Piemonte. If you order a non-local dish, it will likely be disappointing. 

Cappellacci di Zucca, a type of pumpkin stuffed ravioli, is a local speciality of Ferrara.

Order un caffè (espresso) after dessert, not during the meal.

Visit bars at any time of day. They are more like cafes and are family-friendly. Stop by for a coffee, snack, soft drink, or alcoholic beverage from breakfast until late at night. They can be a good place for a sandwich if you get hungry mid-afternoon, although quality varies and some bars close in the afternoon (especially in small towns). 

Drink coffee standing at the bar (al banco) to avoid paying extra to sit down—up to four times more in touristy areas. 

Check the bar menu if you really want to sit down. It’s usually on the wall and you can see the prices for banco (standing) and tavolo (sitting). 

Eat pizza with your hands. In a pizzeria you’ll cut the pizza into slices yourself then feel free to use your hands.

Buy slices of takeaway pizza or focaccia with different toppings for a cheap snack. This is your best option if you get hungry outside the usual meal times. You usually choose how much you want and pay by weight. 

Tomato focaccia in Bari charged by weight

Stick with a primo (first course, usually pasta, risotto or soup) if you are vegetarian—a secondo (second course) is almost always meat and a primo is tasty and filling enough (and cheaper).

Cacio e pepe (cheese and pepper pasta) is a delicious Roman speciality

Order wine (or just water) with a meal—Italians only drink beer and soft drinks with pizza.

Ask for a glass of wine even if only bottles are listed on the menu. There is always the option of un bicchiere (glass) or un quarto (quarter litre) or mezzo litro (half litre) jug of house wine. The house wine is very affordable and often the same price as water—we’ve had a half litre for as low as 2 euros!

Choose your mineral water naturale (normal) or frizzante (fizzy). You’ll usually be asked this as soon as you sit down as a litre bottle is served with every meal. Unfortunately, Italians don’t drink tap water at restaurants (although it is safe to drink). 

Wine is an important part of an Italian meal

Enjoy a pre-dinner drink or aperitivo at a bar. This is usually a glass of wine or cocktail. My favourite is a Spritz made with Aperol (or Campari), prosecco, and soda water. Bars always provide a snack with your drink such as potato chips, olives, nuts, and/or focaccia. This helps keep us going until restaurants open. 

Fill up on the aperitivo buffets that some bars offer for free when you buy a drink in the early evenings (usually from around 6-8pm). If you are on a tight budget, it could even be enough for dinner, which is why it’s known as apericena. Although it’s frowned upon if you eat too much—in general it’s best to stick with one plate of food per drink. The best place for apericena is northern Italy, especially Milan and Turin. 

The classic aperitivo Spritz with access to a large vegan-friendly buffet cost €10 at Ketumbar in Rome

Buy olive oil from a farm (vineyards often make olive oil too). You’ll never go back to the supermarket stuff. To learn more about this liquid gold take an olive oil tour to a village outside Rome or stay on an olive farm—we love Masseria Il Frantoio in Puglia (read our review here).

Visit a vineyard for a wine tour and tasting. We did a fantastic wine tour in Umbria and have also enjoyed winery visits in Tuscany, Puglia, and the Barolo area of Piemonte. 

Simon hiking through the vineyards in the Barolo wine region

Try real aged balsamic vinegar. The 25-year-old stuff is like nothing you’ve tasted before. We visited a family-run acetaia in Modena on a day trip from Bologna.

Picnic. Even the simplest things taste amazing in Italy so buy some bread, cheese, olives, and fruit from an alimentari (small grocery store), market or supermarket and find a park to enjoy them in. Testaccio market in Rome is our favourite place for this.

Use an Italian phrasebook or app to help you decode the menu so you don’t have to eat in restaurants with English menus (which are usually badly translated anyway). This list of Italian restaurant phrases should also help.

Learn to cook your favourite dishes so you can recreate them at home. We enjoyed cooking classes in Puglia and Tuscany. Get Your Guide has lots of cooking classes on offer including making pasta and tiramisù in Rome, pizza in Naples, and a market and cooking experience in Florence. 

Learning to make pasta in Lecce, Puglia

Ask for the bill/check (il conto). Restaurant staff will not automatically bring it as they don’t want to rush you. It can take a while as they assume you’re not in a hurry. 

Enjoy a digestivo (after-dinner liquor) after your meal. The best ones are homemade and they can be bitter like an amaro, sweet like limoncello, or strong like grappa. If your server offers you a digestivo after you’ve received your bill, it’s on the house.

At Country House Tavernola near Vieste they brought us five icy cold bottles of homemade digestivi—fennel flower, laurel, cinnamon, almond, and prickly pear (our favourite)—and left us to help ourselves.

Don’t

Expect restaurants to be open for cena (dinner) until 7.30pm or 8pm. Typically Italians eat dinner at restaurants around 9pm (earlier in the north, later in the south). Pizzerias often open earlier at 7pm.

Feel obliged to order every course—an antipasto (starter), primo (first course), secondo (second course) with contorno (side dish), and dolce (dessert) is a lot of food. Pick and choose as you please. You could also order an antipasto or primo and then decide afterwards if you’d like to order another course.

Fave e cicoria (mashed fava beans with greens) is a typical Puglian dish

Order cappuccino after 10am. Later in the day, and especially after meals, stick with an espresso (ask for un caffè).

Expect much for breakfast. A coffee and cornetto (croissant, called brioche in northern Italy) standing at a bar is the norm. The best breakfasts we’ve had have been at family-run B&Bs like La Corte dei Pastori in stunning Matera where we were treated to a spread of bread, cakes, pastries, and fruit. You won’t find eggs or other hot breakfast dishes.

An Italian breakfast with a view at La Corte dei Pastori B&B in Matera

A typical Italian breakfast in a bar – a cornetto filled with nutella

Eat in a gelateria that has bright green mint or pistachio gelato—the ingredients won’t be natural. Towering puffy mounds are another sign that they use chemicals. If the gelato is hidden away in metal tins, it’s a good sign it will be high quality.

Go to a restaurant with a tourist menu or with someone outside encouraging you to come in.

The lovely osteria (simple restaurant) Ai Cuattru Canti in Finalborgo, Liguria. Menus in Italian only are a good sign.

Eat in a pizzeria for lunch. The best places only open in the evenings as the wood-burning pizza oven takes a long time to reach the right temperature. During the day stick with pizza by the slice (pizza al taglio) served from takeout places. 

Order peperoni pizza unless you want it topped with bell peppers. Order a salami pizza if you want it with meat. 

Ask for chicken or pineapple on your pizza. Italians consider this a travesty. 

Share a pizza—even kids have one to themselves. 

Roman style thin crust pizza at Da Remo in Rome. In Naples the pizza has a thicker crust—try them both!

Takeaway pizza al taglio is the best option for pizza at lunch. You usually choose how much you want and pay by weight. This was at Il Pizzicotto in Lecce.

Ask for oil and vinegar to dip your bread in. That’s not a real Italian thing. Bread is not served with butter either.

Eat bread with your pasta. Instead use it to fare la scarpetta (literally “make a little shoe”) and mop up the leftover sauce on your plate.

Order spaghetti bolognese. It doesn’t exist in Italy. Instead, ask for tagliatelle al ragù in its hometown Bologna if you want a meat pasta. 

Ask for parmesan on your pasta. Italians are strict about what is supposed to have cheese on it and what’s not. You’ll be offered parmesan if it’s appropriate. 

Expect fancy salad dressings. Italian dressing doesn’t exist in Italy. Instead you are provided with olive oil, vinegar, and salt to dress your own salad at the table. When the ingredients are this good, you don’t need anything more.

Expect complicated salads. If the menu says tomato salad, it will just be a plate of sliced tomatoes (maybe with basil). Again, you can get away with simplicity when the produce is fresh and flavourful. 

Be surprised if your salad turns up after your main. It’s not eaten as a side dish in Italy. 

A simple but beautiful raw zucchini salad

Be surprised by extra charges on your bill. Restaurants usually charge from €1-2.50 per person for pane e coperto (bread and cover charge) even if you don’t want the bread. It should be written on the menu. 

Feel like you have to tip. It’s optional.

Assume everywhere takes credit cards. Many restaurants are cash only. 

Expect American-style service. Restaurant staff can be a little brusque, especially in the big cities. Don’t take it personally.

Be offended if you are turned away from an empty restaurant. They will have bookings for later in the evening, and in Italy you have the table for the whole night. 

Touch produce at market stalls. Tell the vendor what you want (or point) and they will select items for you. 

Ask for food to go at restaurants. It’s not customary to get a doggy bag with leftovers. Take out isn’t common either except at pizzerias. Even coffee is rarely ordered to go. 

Rush. Meals can last hours in Italy—savour them.

Best Food in Italy: Regional Dishes to Try

If you are wondering what to eat in Italy, here are some of our favourite dishes. Remember that food in Italy is strictly local, so you won’t find most of these dishes all over the country. 

Dishes found everywhere

Pizza Margherita – Found all over the country, pizza is, of course, a must eat in Italy. It’s best in Naples but we also like the Roman style with an ultra-thin and crispy base. There are other varieties, but the Margherita is a classic for a reason. 

Parmigiana di Melanzana – One of my favourite things to eat in Italy is found mainly in the south—Puglia, Campania, and Sicily. Layers of fried eggplant are baked with cheese and tomato sauce. It’s usually in the antipasti section of the menu but sometimes it’s listed as a primo.  

Pasta al Pomodoro – Pasta served with tomato sauce is simple but so delicious when it’s done well. It won’t be listed like this on the menu; instead of pasta, it will say the local variety such as orecchiette al pomodoro in Puglia (a pasta shape which resemble little ears). 

Penne all’Arrabbiata – Short tubes of pasta with a spicy tomato sauce. It originates from Rome but is found in many places. 

Bruschetta al Pomodoro – One of our favourite starters is a simple garlic-rubbed toast topped with fresh tomato, basil and olive oil. It also comes with other toppings. 

Parmigiana di melanzana in Puglia

Lazio (Rome)

Tonnarelli Cacio e Pepe – Thick spaghetti-like pasta with pecorino romano cheese and black pepper. Oh so good! My favourite place for it is Flavio al Velavevodetto in the Testaccio neighbourhood of Rome.

Pizza Bianca – This is the type of pizza you get in squares from a bakery or takeaway place not at a sit-down pizzeria. It’s plain dough (almost like focaccia) drizzled with olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt and rosemary. Fresh out of the oven it’s divine. My favourite place for it is Antico Forno Roscioli in Rome’s historic centre.  

Pizza di Patate – Another type of delicious takeaway pizza slice features thinly sliced potatoes and no tomato sauce. Sometimes it comes with cheese. 

Pizza rossa and pizza bianca from Antico Forno Roscioli in Rome

Liguria (Genoa, Cinque Terre)

Trofie al Pesto – You can find pesto (a basil sauce) outside Liguria but it’s best in its home region. Trofie are little twists of pasta and potatoes and green beans are sometimes added to the dish. 

Pansotti alla salsa di noci – Cheese and spinach stuffed ravioli with walnut sauce.  

Antipasti misto – The mixed antipasti (appetiser) plates are superb in Liguria and can be adapted for vegetarians. They usually include torta di verdura, a local vegetable pie filled with cheese and greens or vegetables.

Focaccia – Liguria makes the best focaccia we’ve had in Italy. This olive oil bread is eaten plain or topped with olives, tomatoes, onions or other ingredients. It’s sold in bakeries and you usually pay by weight. 

Trofie al pesto

Tuscany (Florence, Siena)

Panzanella – A salad of stale bread, tomatoes, onions, basil, and sometimes cucumbers. It tastes better than it sounds!

Pappa al Pomodoro – Another use for stale bread is this tasty tomato soup. 

Ribollita – A hearty winter bean and vegetable soup (yep, there’s some stale bread in here too!).

Puglia 

Orecchiette con Cime di Rapa – Little ears pasta with turnip tops (a type of leafy green vegetable).

Purea di Fave con Cicoria – Fava bean puree with bitter greens. 

Antipasti della Casa – The house antipasti is our favourite part of the meal in Puglia. It can be an extraordinarily large array of vegetables, cheese, fried things and much more (mostly vegetarian). Only get one between two people and sometimes even then you won’t have space for a main course. 

See our detailed guide to Puglia food for many more recommendations. 

Campania (Naples, Amalfi Coast)

Don’t miss pizza in Naples!

Gnocchi alla Sorrentina – Simon’s favourite Italian dish (besides pizza). Gnocchi (potato dumplings) baked with tomato sauce, mozzarella and basil. 

Insalata Caprese – The simple salad of tomato, mozzarella and basil originates from the island of Capri.

Sicily 

Pasta alla Norma – Penne pasta in a tomato and aubergine sauce topped with ricotta salata cheese.

Busiate alla Trapanese – Long twisty pasta with a type of pesto made from tomatoes, almonds, garlic and basil. 

Pane con Panelle – Chickpea fritters in a roll is a popular street food in Palermo. 

Our Sicilian food guide has lots more ideas to try including the many sweets the island is famous for.

Emilia-Romagna (Bologna, Modena)

Emilia-Romagna has some of the best food to eat in Italy. Aside from parmesan cheese and aged balsamic vinegar, you should also try: 

Tortelloni– Pasta parcels stuffed with ricotta and herbs. Vegetarians should get the sage and butter sauce rather than the ragù. Tortellini are similar but smaller and filled with meat. 

Tortelloni and Lambrusco wine at Da Danilo in Modena

Best Places to Eat in Italy

Our favourite place to eat in Italy is Masseria Il Frantoio, an olive farm with accommodation in Puglia where we indulged in an eight-course tasting menu using produce and olive oil from the farm. It’s also our favourite place to stay in all of Italy.

Otherwise, we’ve eaten in so many amazing restaurants that it’s hard to choose favourites. When choosing where to eat in Italy you can see our restaurant recommendations by destination in these posts:

The Best Things to Do and Eat in Testaccio, Rome

Trastevere Rome Neighbourhood Guide

Things to Do and Food Tips for Bologna

The 24 Best Restaurants in Lecce, Puglia

A Day of Eating in Varenna, Lake Como

Rapallo: The Best Base for Exploring The Italian Riviera

Where to Eat in the Barolo Wine Region, Piemonte

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[worldwarlove1]

More about me

Please read this whole post and look over the links as I have lots to say in order to get a much better idea of who I am, as I am a very deep/soulful person who has been through a lot (Both bad and good) and I have so much to say/express that it is difficult to even know where to begin, so I have links towards the end of everything I am about to say here.

At the end of this message, I have links that lead to videos 1-15 (Life, hopes, nightmares, dreams/etc), I have been misunderstood before when trying to express myself to others (Maybe it’s ‘cause I’m a man, who knows), so please, whenever watching a video if you could watch it from start to finish that would be great, and please don’t be afraid of me, I really am a great person, and if you have any questions please feel free to ask, thanks so much.

Please check all the vids for descriptions, especially for vids 3 & 5 either before or after watching them. They are quite powerful and deep, and I’ve also got other links that can all be found towards the end of this post/message. Together, they will give you a much better idea of what I have been through, my likes/etc and show that even though I am quiet, often have a rather blank look/expression/etc that I really/truly am a deep/passionate/connected/soulful individual who strives to avoid conflict even with anyone who may be putting me through an awful lot of grief, and would have to exhaust all other peaceful options that are known to me before I would even consider something like shouting as I wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Vices, likes/etc: -I never smoke/hate cigarettes (Can’t stand em). -Emotions, understandings and connections that we share are also very important to me. -Been through a lot in my life and I am an excellent listener. -Want to hear both sides of a story to get both perspectives and if any conflict should arise to talk and come to resolutions. -I am a very deep person “I don’t do drugs. I am drugs.” - Salvador Dali. -I do occasionally drink alcoholic beverages (Mainly Palm bays - My favs for both alcoholic and non alcoholic beverages are ones with super rich creamy flavours of pineapple, orange creamsicle, strawberry & cherry - My fav non alcoholic ones are Stewart’s (Orange ‘n Cream, Black Cherry, Strawberries 'n Cream), Tahiti/Tahitian treat, Crush pineapple & other sweat & creamy drinks. -Since we’re on the topic of consumables, I also love Chapman's orange pineapple, Bryers Vanilla/Orange sorbet Creamsicle ice cream and Chapman's orange sorbet tigerpaw ice cream bars, many types of candies, meats and dairy products and shakes/smoothies. My fav fruits are Pineapples, Peaches, Strawberries, Cherries, Clementines/Tangerines & Bananas. Trust me I could go on and on and on about the healthy and not to healthy foods and drinks that I looooooove, lolz :) -Emotions are wonderful and I have plenty to share, with healthy levels of common sense/level headedness/etc. -A reasonable balance of head in the clouds and feet on the ground. -I am willing to make a fair number of compromises. -Equally split work loads/responsibilities, being fair, being reasonable, talking with/listening to each other. -Not keeping secrets (Do I have secrets, yes - who doesn’t, but the ones I’ve got are nothing worth telling anyways). -I understand, feel and experience a lot more then many people may think I do, a diamond in the rough. -As far as I am concerned, honesty, sincerity and loyalty are very important to me and when two people really get to know each other, are at that point in their lives, the physical is just as important as the emotional and I feel that both should be given regularly. -I am a mature individual with a rich mind, a heart of gold/the heart of a child, the best of both worlds.

As for me, I am doing well here in Grimsby/Ontario and am so glad that I made the move. The rent is pretty reasonable for an old building/studio apartment (As far as reasonable goes for a fair number of us Canadians, lolz), and there’s plenty of trees/trails/nature here with more then enough modern conveniences/everything I need within walking distance.

Being a redhead I am sensitive to the sun, and I also have a condition known as "Polymorphic Light Eruption", so, in other words, not only am I a redhead, but I am also mildly allergic to the sun, but thankfully I have to be out in it for around an hour or more before it takes effect. I am just glad that I don't have one of the sun allergies that are worse then this, cause some of them can actually leave permanent marks and be fatal.

I love the darkness of night as it does not leave me feeling drained like the sunlight (Even through the window) does, so and do what I can to keep the sun out of my place as I am fairly sensitive to it but am okay to spend the day outdoors with some really good sunscreen so long as I can have access to shade and ot stay still in the sun as that is really bad for the redhead in me and quickens the PLE.

Overall I feel a great eerie peace come over me when I am away from the sun, and even though I am an overall laid back person, if I am with someone, I do enjoy travel as well and love to explore new places/areas as well. Things like hiking, stargazing, exploring caves/nature, some swimming, hot air balloons and a fair number of other activities (Many I haven’t tried, but I know that I would like them), and even though with sunscreen I am fine outdoors, I do still prefer indoor lighting.

I have had my fair share of abuse, mostly back in elementary school and in the workplace (Most from by second last job/boss & some from my last job/manager) and even though for the most part I really have to watch my money now so that I can remain free from the shackles of society by leaving the working world for good, I am much better off for it.

I am very grateful/thankful to have a few people as well as 3 younger brothers and a younger sister, along with my parents/etc who are very supportive overall. At some point I intend to continue what I started a while back, to type my life/experiences into a book to really help to draw people into my world through the senses/mind and the works, and should fate allow, perhaps someday, even a movie.

Even in my earlier years, I have alway had stuff like second hand smoke or other factors that have stopped me from writing at my very best, but I am hoping that someday, everything in the environment will be just right and stay that way so that hopefully at lease enough of the damage that has already been done can heal itself and I can write/express better then I ever have before. Otherwise, I don’t know if I will ever be able to get to it.

I have all the time in the world now to regain the true holy darkness/purity that I have lost over the years do to having more then my fair share of emotionally abusive events in my life before I was able to break free from what was holding me back, and I need to figure a way to get the second hand smoke from other units to stop entering mine, for good cause me cigarette allergies really put me back.

I do prefer to stay at home but even so I do have an adventurous side which I would not mind exploring more either. I do love other things too, and wouldn’t mind going camping again from time to time, haven’t done that in years (Although this time around, I would probably prefer a cabin to a tent, unless the bottom of the tent can be made really comfy) :)

But, for that stuff, I would probably have to spend a few months or so getting into the proper shape, and maybe I could even learn how to scuba diving/dive or even go on a hot air balloon someday, but as for learning something more extreme like bungee cord jumping and skydiving (Well…maybe), and I would be willing to experience many other things too. Overall, I do like being indoors, surfing the internet, playing video games, creating my own videos and typing as well :)

Even though I have not cooked any fancy meals/etc I do enjoy cooking. My dad plays for an old timers hockey game/team and baseball team, so I go out to see some of his games and enjoy watching him and his team :)

I do like going out too see movies and have not really been to any dances and only saw one live play which was interesting, and I think I would enjoy learning how to dance, nothing fancy per say though. I enjoy walks in the park, and I also love strawberry picking which I haven’t done in years, maybe I can get myself a sombrero or something to further help with the sun :)

I live within walking distance of grocery stores and everything else I need as well, but wouldn’t mind from time to time visit some resorts, cottages, getaways as well and I have often wanted to also try out a spa, and see places like Thailand, The Amazon Rain forest, Ireland, The Congo Basin, Tahiti, Papua New Guinea, Jamaica, Tibet, Transylvania and other places along those lines also :)

I am on ODSP (The amount I get increases a bit each year to keep up with the costs of living) now and so long as I keep living in Ontario I will keep receiving it for life regardless as to not or whether I end up being with someone at some point (I do have high functioning Autism and sound/speak well, but even though understandings are improving, there’s still unfair/negative stigma behind the word.

It can also make it a lot more difficult for people to take my word over others without proof of something, and mistakes in life sure do seem to be noticed more by others and manipulators can get away with so much and I am trying to help in changing all that, trust me, I know from experience.

Anyways, please, don’t let the A word scare you away or anything. Even though I often have a blank expression & distant look, again, I really am a very deep individual and have more then enough knowledge & wisdom for what I need to know, and for plenty of other stuff as well.

Even though I am not normally one for social gatherings, I can engage in conversations well enough, and as for talking, I can talk up a storm, most especially about things I find interesting, so no worries about that being an issue (People do notice differences about me, I guess it can just be sensed, but I am a great person to know once people get to know me as first introductions are usually not the easy for me).

I consider myself as one of the lucky/fortunate ones, and even though (Please look at the 1-14 vimeo vids to see why) I have debt (About 10K) that I racked up as a way of coping with all the abuse and for a short time after I left till I was healed enough, I am able to manage my money well and am back on track with everything.

I am away from all the abuse and am very good with my money now, and am able to take a bit off my debt each month with still being able to eat/etc well and take care of all my other bills and especially once I am out of debt (I’m guessing around the early 2020s) tings will really be freed up, so its all good now as I have been able to leave the abuse, so no worries there, I am really good with my money.

As for the possibility of being with someone, I wish to be with someone of whom I can share my soul/being with, the melding of mind/body and soul, someone who can really connect with me, someone who can support me, love me and cherish me and naturally I would do the same in return.

Don’t worry if you are making and/or have little to no money. If you have none and are making none, in at least 3-4 years time I will be able to have enough for the both of us to still eat/live well enough in a studio apartment, so long as you don’t mind things being tight financially.

If together we both have enough money coming in, I wouldn’t mind trying to have one or more kids, if not, I can always have a vasectomy. I want us to truly connect, eventually, body, mind and soul, it just being the two of us to start, giving us more then enough time to truly connect/etc.

Again, I want for us to truly connect, and also, I have never been intimate with anyone before, so this will be new to me. If we decide not to have any kids, then as for the physical end of things, again, I can just get a Vasectomy (All of the pleasures/etc would still be there, the only difference being that kids will not be possible).

Code for viewing vids: worldwarlove2057 1)https://vimeo.com/253553084 2)https://vimeo.com/264179109 3)https://vimeo.com/253552650 4)https://vimeo.com/253552736 5)https://vimeo.com/253552824 6)https://vimeo.com/253740094 7)https://vimeo.com/253552915 8)https://vimeo.com/253740057 9)https://vimeo.com/253740056  10)https://vimeo.com/253552622 11)https://vimeo.com/253552639 12)https://vimeo.com/253552772 13)https://vimeo.com/253553048 14)https://vimeo.com/253740106 15)https://vimeo.com/253553051

May your souls of ghostly liquid light spread their cleansing chills 2 hauntingly beautiful tones in the never ending melodies of mysterious holy darkness in life’s eerily eternal song of infinitely awe inspiring complexities, turning fear into enhanced awareness & illuminate the way for others… I am hyper aware, each sense acting as if the others died... Experiences of D Angels through us T_T

More and more, fear becomes realized as what it is, enhanced awareness, and the "fears" (Along with the other emotions bought on) from/of darkness meld together with the light in healing which is a truly hauntingly beautiful thing. It allows for more growth in understandings, sympathies and empathy. It helps to further raise the vibration to not necessarily get rid of the darkness but to make it a part of who you are, but for the better/with it being healed more and more, becoming greater awareness/wisdom & knowledge :)

I find that Transcendental meditation is fantastic, but I can see how it can easily seem too powerful for many as they have either not been through enough in life or have not been through enough training. Transcendental meditation can seem like evil/darkness when in actual fact it is a further transformation into the light :)

Over time it feels as if you are becoming like that of a ghost made of liquid light (Light, that is warm, hot and cool all at the same time), vibrations and tones (An angel), like you are no longer physically aware of weight, substance or material happenings. You/the light has cleansing chills throughout your entire being and feel many ripples and vibrations (Like that from water and really good quality sound systems from all around and within yourself). You become aware that the night and the understandings that come with it are a holy treasure trove when combined with the light/existence :)

My interests: https://worldwarlove1.tumblr.com/post/166593292324/my-interests/embed

My vegan list: https://worldwarlove1.tumblr.com/post/166599411149/my-vegan-list/embed

How cigarettes effect me: https://worldwarlove1.tumblr.com/post/170183135424/smoking-tenants/embed

Questions, just for fun: https://worldwarlove1.tumblr.com/post/171217915114/just-for-fun/embed

My email: jpperris@mail.com