#i HATE tumblr for not giving easier ways to format this i don't want to do this all in html lmao

[himehikoshrine]

Oh, Rama Havenna Stage Script (EN)

This is the full Stage Script from the game menu for Oh, Rama Havenna (occasional typos and all, though I tried not to add any that weren't already there, but no promises).

Another verse, much like the first, I've gotten through Oh, Rama Havenna with a few weeks to spare. You can read Mary Jane here [x]. Some notes - the formatting is a bit different on this one. I've gone without the constant quotation marks, and tumblr let me do different things with line breaks.

There are some things in this script that are not in the game version - in-game, parts of the script are elided in favor of summary.

The Stage Scripts don't include any character ad-libs from the in-game performance, though. Of course, you can access it from the game menu, if you've got it, but this version is searchable! The play is a touch under 700 lines long, and is thus behind the cut. I have a version saved elsewhere if you'd like an easier way to save it, feel free to ask.

Oh, Rama Havenna

By Neji Kokuto

(1) Singing Havenna

◆Havenna Lakeshore

Father:   …

A boat docks.

Father:   A boat.

Father:   You in the boat, stop in the name of the Lord.

Chicchi:   …

Father:   This is Havenna. A town of decadence and pleasure.

Father:   Step ashore, and you will never be able to return to the other side.

Father:   Do you desire gold? Or fame? Succeed, and the town will be yours for the taking. Fail, and you will become a mugwort seller in a back alley.

Father:   Young woman, clean and pure. Will you still enter Havenna?

Chicchi:   Yes.

Chicchi:   I have no intention of returning to the other shore, Father.

Father:   I see.

Father:   Then dance until you collapse.

Father:   Oh, Rama Havenna.

◆Singing Pub

★Song “Oh, Rama Havenna, Oh Beloved Havenna”

Man A:   Oh, Rama Havenna! Indulgence is sweet and nothing to be ashamed of!

Man B:   Oh, Rama Havenna! Just give into your desires!

Rukiora enters with a flourish.

Rukiora:   Oh, Rama Havenna! As warm as a baby’s first bath. Oh, Rama Havenna! As gentle as a rocking cradle.

Man A:   Love the setting sun. A trash bin can take the place of a hotel!

Man B:   Aimless pleasure. A place for the lazy!

Rukiora:   Melt down to your bones and forget it all in Havenna. Let the lovely food and drink sing to your core in Havenna.

Rukiora:   Oh, Rama Havenna! Oh, Rama Havenna!

Customer A:   Rukiora, Havenna’s singing princess.

Customer B:   I want to be ripped apart by those beautiful arms of hers!

Customer A:   Hey, cut that out. Just imagining that will get you kicked out of here. She is well known for being a fine woman.

Customer B:   That’s even better!

Chicchi quietly appears

Chicchi:   …

Rukiora:   Oh, Rama Havenna! …That’s all for my singing. Thank you very much. Have a good night.

Applause

Customer A:   Oh rama! Oh rama! Secanda!

Customer B:   Give us more! Secanda, secanda!

Rukiora:   Haha, how many times are they going to make me sing… Ah.

Chicchi:   …

Rukiora:   I’ll sing one more song. Only because a friend is here today.

◆Town Streets

Rukiora:   Chicchi! You came.

Chicchi:   Rukiora. You sang beautifully today, too. Your guests were so delighted.

Rukiora:   Thank you for the praise… However, haah, I’m unhappy.

Chicchi:   Unhappy?

Rukiora:   With the song itself! Those lyrics are just atrocious!

Rukiora:   'Oh, Rama Havenna, we are a bunch of sloths', 'Oh, Rama Havenna, even so, our life is great!

Rukiora:   Ugh, I hate it. The guests at the club are just excusing how pathetic they are with these lyrics.

Rukiora:   They're filling the singing club with their muggy stench.

Rukiora:   If my nose weren’t so stuffy, I’d have thrown up from such a horrid stench. I’m so glad it is!

Rukiora:   Though I want it fixed because it’s difficult to sing.

Rukiora:   …But what I detest even more is the fact I’m making money by interacting with them.

Rukiora:   My living is dependent on them!

Rukiora:   Aagh, I just hate it.

Chicchi:   I think anyone’s amazing who works hard at what they do. I love your singing, Rukiora.

Rukiora:   Chicchi! My friend I love so much! You’re my one and only solace here in Havenna.

Chicchi:   Heh heh…

The two of them hug.

A little distance away, a dirtied man address a charming woman.

Dirty Man:   … I can’t sleep. Can you sell me some mugwort?

Suspicious Woman:   Yes, I just got some good mugwort in.

Rukiora:   …Look, Chicchi. A mugwort seller. The most indecent and immodest women in all of Havenna.

Rukiora:   The smell of mugwort will get all over you if you get near them. What a revolting smell.

Chicchi:   Right. Let’s walk far away from it…

The two of them walk away from the mugwort seller.

Girl:   Waait!

Rukiora:   What now?!

Fugio:   Ah, I’m in trouble…!

Rukiora:   Someone’s being chased by that crowd of women…! They’re coming this way.

Chicchi:   That’s…

Woman:   Wait! Waiiit!

Fugio:   I’m going to get caught at this rate…!

Chicchi:   This way. Come hide in the shadows.

Fugio:   Huh? You’re…!

Rukiora:   Chicchi?!

Girl:   Hey, let me shake your hand! Hug me! Come talk to us!

Sound of footsteps run past.

Rukiora:   …Looks like they’re gone.

Fugio:   Thanks, you saved me!

Rukiora:   …Are you Fugio, perhaps?

Fugio:   Oh, you know my name.

Rukiora:   You’re the princeps of the Agua Club… The most famous celebrity around! There isn’t a woman in Havenna who doesn’t know you! Right, Chicchi?

Chicchi:   R-Right…

Fugio:   Haha, thanks. You two really saved me. Come see my show if you’re free. I’ll prepare some VIP seats for you.

Rukiora:   Really? For both of us?

Fugio:   Of course! All right, bye then, Chickachina

Chicchi:   …!

Rukiora:   ‘Chickachina’?

Fugio:   Oh, that’s just a way of saying goodbye that’s making the rounds at the club! It could be old news by tomorrow. 

Rukiora:   I see. Chickachina!

Fugio leaves.

Rukiora:   Oh, he’s so cool. Fugio, the finest treasure of Havenna. I never imagined running into him here.

Rukiora:   They say not even thieves can get their hands on tickets to his shows. Could this be a reward for trying to live a clean life?

Rukiora:   Well, looks like our next meeting will be at the Agua Club! Bye-bye, Chicchi!

Chicchi:   Bye-bye, Rukiora.

Chicchi:   …

A man comes closer as Rukiora leaves.

Jire:   …Chicchi. I see you went to meet Rukiora.

Chicchi:   Jire… That’s because she’s my one and only female friend in Havenna.

Jire:   …Is that all right? She’s famous for being so clean that she won’t even eat a rat.

Chicchi:   Even I won’t eat a rat. Except for the kebabs on Tigris Street.

Jire:   The kebabs there are fantastic, huh?! They say there’s a secret in the spices.

Jire:   Er, no, I didn’t come here to talk about that.

Jire:   …It’s almost time for your shift at Pontartia. Domina said to come to your room an hour before.

Chicchi:   I was just a bit late from running into a guest. I always make sure to do my work.

Jire:   I’ve heard as much from Domina… More times than I’d like.

Jire:   All right, let’s go. Time for ‘Chicchi’ to become ‘Chickachina’.

(2) Bright Havenna

◆Back Alley

Sounds of murmurs

Girls advertising their store and men looking around.

Mugwort Vendor A:   Hey mister, need some mugwort?

Mugwort Vender B:   Our’s is much better than that shop… Hm? Oh my, it’s the priest.

Father:   …

Mugwort Vendor A:   He sure is faithful, proselytizing in a town like this. But we’re sick of those sermons!

Mugwort Vender B:   Our customers are going to run away, fearing God’s wrath. Go on, get out of here!

Father:   This place is once again gloomy with the smell of mugwort…

◆Pontartia - Chicchi’s Room

Jire:   Chickachina, your next guest is here.

Fugio:   Hey, nice to see you again!

Chicchi:   Please don’t call me by my work name outside the shop.

Fugio:   Sorry, Chickachina… Er, Chicchi. I was just so happy since I never thought I’d see you around town.

Fugio:   Shouldn’t you be the one who should be more careful?

Chicchi:   What do you mean?

Fugio:   You could have just ignored me like you do your other customers.

Fugio:   You’re hiding it, right? The fact that you’re a mugwort seller.

Chicchi:   This conversation is absurd. As absurd as someone like you coming to a shop like this to buy mugwort.

Fugio:   It’s really tiring to be the princeps. The eyes of the public are on me, so I can’t ruin my image.

Fugio:   You understand, right Chicchi?

Chicchi:   I’m going to light some mugwort. Set the money down. You can call me by my alias here.

Fugio:   Haha, sorry. You keep a lot of secrets, Chickachina. Ah, what a nice smell.

Chicchi:   Hey, take off your coat.

Fugio:   Right.

Chicchi:   You like having my arm around you, don’t you?

Fugio:   Yeah… So hurry, wrap it around my neck already…

Chicchi:   All right, then… Hmph!”

Chicchi wraps her arm around Fugio’s neck from behind, choking him.

Fugio:   Rrgh…!

Fugio falls unconscious without any resistance. 

Sound of a thud on the bed.

Fade out.

Fugio:   …I think I’m sick.

Chicchi:   Yeah. Did you sleep well?

Fugio:   Really, I wonder what kind of person first thought up of a business like this?

Chicchi:   I’m sure anyone would think up a business to make men who can’t go to sleep fall unconscious. Someone from this town, at least.

Fugio:   Havenna’s full of guys who can’t sleep, after all… Can I stay by your side a while longer?

Chicchi:   Yes, I’m your Chickachina until morning.

Fugio:   Seriously, I hate the sun for that.

Fugio:   Someday, I want to take you away from Havenna. I wonder how I can have you all to myself.

Chicchi:   There’s nothing outside of Havenna, Fugio.

Fugio:   Haha, you speak as though you’ve seen it for yourself. Outside Havenna is overflowing with dreams and hopes bigger than here. 

Fugio:   Someday, I’ll get out of Havenna… with you.

◆Pontartia

Chicchi:   I smell like mugwort all over… 

Chicchi:   I’ll be taking a shower. I don’t know when Rukiora’s stuffy nose will get better.

Jire:   I’m sure it’ll be fine if she’s seeing the same doctor. That guy’s a quack, after all.

Chicchi:   With any luck, he’ll hit his head and get some sense knocked into him.

Chicchi:   If her nose gets better, she might notice even the faintest scent of mugwort.

Chicchi:   If that happens, it’s not just my job that’s in trouble.

Jire:   Pontartia’s earnings would plummet instantly. All your customers are the good ones, after all.

Jire:   Even that Fugio’s all over you. My ear gets itchy every time I hear his pickup lines.

Chicchi:   He’s popular in Havenna. There’s no way he’d actually fall for a mugwort seller.

A man and woman in gaudy clothing approach them as they talk.

They are Facchio and Domina, the owner of the shop and his lover.

Facchio:   Chickachina!

Jire:   Its Facchio. Pontartia’s owner and the millionaire of Havenna. If he’s here, that means…

Domina:   The smell of mugwort is so strong here. I’m sure you’re not wasting any of it, are you?

Jire:   Domina… The madam of Pontartia and Facchio’s lover…

Chicchi:   Good evening.

Facchio:   Did that prince boy come by again?

Chicchi:   Not ‘prince boy’. The princeps Facchio.

Facchio:   Prince, princeps, whatever. The fact that such a popular boy is mad about you is what’s important. 

Domina:   So, how much did we earn from him? Ah, here it is.

Chicchi:   Ah.

Domina:   A bit low for the star of the Agua club. He could be more generous with the tip.

Domina:   Subtracting the rent for the room, equipment expenses, other miscellaneous fees… Here’s your share.

Chicchi:   …This is it?

Domina:   What’s that I hear?

Domina:   Who was the one who plucked you off a dirty street corner stinking of matrik into a fine mugwort seller?

Chicchi:   You, Madam Domina.

Domina:   I thought so.

Domina:   The one who taught you how much pressure to apply to block one’s airway, how to charm the beastly men of havenna and send them into heaven was me, right?

Domina:   I can be real scary if you mouth off to me.

Facchio:   Come now, my little butterfly. The reason you’re upset is proof that Chickachina sees herself as worth more. Let’s give her a little bonus later. 

Domina:   Facchio, I’m going to get jealous if you keep treating Chickachina so well. Enough to kill her!

Facchio:   You’re flapping wings are the most beautiful, my butterfly.

Domina:   Hee-hee

Jire:   Um, can we leave now?

Domina:   Oh, Jire, you’re still here. Get out already.

Facchio:   Later, Chickachina.

The two of them leave Facchio and Domina.

Jire:   That Domina. She took all that after you worked so hard, Chicchi. I’m going to complain about it later.

Chicchi:   There’s no helping it. Those two were the ones who took me in.

Jire:   Domina’s jealous of you, Chicchi, because you’re so young and beautiful.

Chicchi:   Domina’s beautiful, too. Even though she’s not young.

Jire:   Chicchi. What’s so worth gaining here in Havenna that you would go this far?

Chicchi:   Jire, Havenna is the town of desire and pleasure. I am a woman of Havenna, too.

Jire:   I don’t understand, Chicchi. I can’t imagine this kind of work being fulfilling for you.

◆The Edge of Town

Facchio and Domina enter a church confessional. The priest listens to them from the other side.

Facchio:   Father! Oh, Father! I have sinned!

Domina:   Please hear Facchio’s confession! And please here mine as well!

Father:   Go on.

Facchio:   Pontartia has been prosperous here in Havenna. 

Facchio:   Eventually, we will cross the river and expand Pontartia to a hundred locations.

Facchio:   Please, God! Forgive my arrogance and ambition, and protect me from those jealous of my genius!

Domina:   And I will follow this man, whose pockets overflow with profit.

Domina:   Please allow me to support him in a way his wife is unable to.

Domina:   …And please punish that arrogant little Chickachina.

Facchio:   Father, what is it that we must do?

Father:   God is always watching over us, each day and each night.

Father:   He loves us in all our greed, arrogance, jealousy, and envy. Be thankful for the love from our magnanimous God.

Father:   You must dance.

Facchio & Domina:   Aah!

★Dance “Intense confessions at the confessional”

(3) Swaying Havenna

◆Agua Club

Fugio’s performance is a cheerful, empty song.

Fugio:   The future is a hope without a dream. Let me see your dazzling smile tomorrow! I am your princeps!

Fugio:   Shining tears become shooting stars! We can create a love that’s true, if we’re together! I alone am your princeps!

Audience:   Ahhh!

Audience:   Fugio!

Rukiora:   Amazing! I never imagined we could watch the princeps of the Agua Club from such good seats! Let’s dance later! I have to thank God for this!

Chicchi:   I’m happy for you, Rukiora.

Fugio:   Thank you, thank you! Here’s a flower to remember this night by.

Customer A:   Fugio threw a flower!

Customer B:   It’s mine!

Customer A:   No, it’s mine…

Rukiora:   Huh? No way!

Customer:   Aww, no fair!

Customer:   Fugio, one for me, too!

Fugio:   Thank you all! I love you like the stars do!

Rukiora:   Look, Chicchi! I got the flower from Fugio…!

Chicchi:   Well, you’re the cutest one here, Rukiora. I’m happy for you.

Rukiora:   Yeah… I’m so happy…!

◆Yorubeya

Chicchi talks to Miguel, an employee at the club

Miguel:   Rukki, Chicchi. Welcome to the Yorubeya. Hm? You look happy, Rukki.

Rukiora:   Listen to this, Miguel! Fugio tossed a flower to me at the Agua Club!

Rukiora:   Look at this flower! It’s so pretty…!

Miguel:   A man giving a flower to a woman is a meaningful thing. And that man is Fugio, the most popular man in Havenna.

Rukiora:   You’re right, Miguel. What do I do? What if Fugio becomes my lover?

Rukiora:   If I’m with him, I might even be able to leave Havenna and live somewhere far away from here…

Chicchi:   Leave Havenna?

Miguel:   If you do that, I won’t be able to see you or Chicchi anymore. I’d be a bit lonely.

Rukiora:   Miguel! I’ll write to you.

Miguel:   Really? I can see you taking your sweet time in responding.

Chicchi:   Rukiora, if you were to become Fugio’s lover, would you really leave Havenna? 

Rukiora:   Chicchi, the world outside this town is full of things that aren’t just pleasure and desire. 

Rukiora:   Things unimaginable to people like us who have grown up in Havenna!

Chicchi:   What do you think is outside Havenna, Rukiora?

Rukiora:   I don’t know. Probably…everything.

Miguel:   You think? It might just be dandelions and neshiromi fields, you know?

Rukiora:   That would be so boring!

Miguel:   Havenna’s a place with everything. You can get all the riches and privileges you want here. If you have the power, that is.

Miguel:   To me, Havenna’s the most amazing town! There’s no one to criticize you if you spend all your days having fun.

Rukiora:   You really are the embodiment of Havenna, Miguel.

Miguel:   There are girls as cute as you too, Rukki.

Rukiora:   You playboy.

Miguel:   Ahaha, it’s true.

Rukiora:   I want to get out of here as soon as possible. If only Fugio really WOULD take me away…

Chicchi:   But we’ll be apart if you leave Havenna.

Rukiora:   You just need to come with me! Me, you, and Fugio, all three of us will leave.

Miguel:   No fair. You’re only taking Chicchi.

Rukiora:   It’s different with Chicchi, Miguel. We’re special friends.

Chicchi:   …

Chicchi:   …So you want to leave Havenna, Rukiora? You have no desire to stay here?

Chicchi:   Even if I’m with you…?

Rukiora:   Wait, Chicchi. It’s not like I want to leave Havenna right NOW.

Rukiora:   Though if I could leave, I would.

Miguel:   Are you okay being with anyone, so long as they’ll take you away from Havenna?

Rukiora:   Well, of course I’d prefer Fugio. He’s a pure-hearted princeps. This flower must be a sign of things to come.

Rukiora:   I’m sure something will happen before this flower’s fragrance fades. Oh, what a nice smell. If my nose weren’t so stuffy, I bet it’d smell even lovelier. 

Chicchi:   Rukiora, you’ve got pollen on your nose.

Rukiora:   Oh, no! I need to touch up my makeup!

Rukiora leaves her seat.

Sound of her hurrying away.

Miguel:   Rukiora is quite taken with Fugio.

Chicchi:   It’s because he threw her that flower. What is he trying to do, anyway?

Miguel:   You think he could’ve been trying to throw it to you? I mean…

Miguel:   I’m sure you were the cutest one in the audience.

Chicchi:   …That’s why people call you a playboy, Miguel. I don’t eat up sweet talk like that.

Miguel:   You’re my guest today. Shouldn’t I be serving you?

Miguel:   …I can’t sleep. I crave the scent of mugwort.

Chicchi:   Don’t talk about that here. Rukiora will be back soon.

Miguel:   It’s tough, isn’t it? Having to keep lying.

Chicchi:   I’m not lying. I just haven’t told her the truth. 

Miguel:   And you want her to believe a false truth? Why are you so adamant on hiding it?

Chicchi:   When I first started taking customers and Pontartia, Domina always scolded me for failing to knock them out right away.

Chicchi:   … ‘We don’t need someone like you here, you freeloader’.

Chicchi:   I cried as I walked around Havenna, and when I arrived at Pig’s Rear Street, I heard someone singing.

Chicchi:   “‘Oh, Rama Havenna’… I love Havenna so dearly. You can be a good-for-nothing, and that’s all right. Laugh and dance, and you can forget it all…

Chicchi:   I was crying.

Chicchi:   I cried and cried, and couldn’t stop. When the show ended, I still couldn’t move from where I was… 

Chicchi:   Rukiora spoke to me.

Chicchi:   I think she thought of me as a pure-hearted girl who was moved by her singing. When in truth, I’m far from pure.

Chicchi:   But I was happy.

Chicchi:   Rukiora’s the only person who can’t know who I really am. No matter what happens. 

Miguel:   Even if it hurts her in the end?

Chicchi:   Is there anything that would her her more than the truth that her friends sells mugwort?

Miguel:   Don’t glare at me like that. It’s fine. No one knows anything about who you really are. No one in Havenna. Not even me.

Chicchi:   Miguel. You’re different. You’re special. 

Miguel:   Hey, now. Look who’s dishing out the sweet talk now.

Chicchi:   Then, will you be honest and tell Rukiora that you care for her?

Chicchi:   You’re a liar, too. You mix in flippant, nonchalant flirting with your true feelings, then shrug off your sleepless nights with mugwort.

Miguel:   …I give up. You win. You sure are mean today. Are you annoyed that Rukiora’s so obsessed with Fugio?

Chicchi:   Rukiora seemed happy to get a flower from him. That’s why I’m happy, too.

Miguel:   You’re not telling the truth again.

Rukiora comes back.

Rukiora:   Sorry. Where were we?

Chicchi:   We were thinking about how you could stay in Havenna, even if you and Fugio become lovers.

Miguel:   I think Fugio going totally broke at a casino would be most effective.

Rukiora:   Idiot. Fugio leads a proper life, so he wouldn’t go somewhere like a casino.

Chicchi:   …

(4) Noisy Havenna

◆Town Streets

Miguel:   Then, can I get those? The Bakuu cookies. Yeah, thanks.

Rukiora:   …Those cookies are cute.

Miguel:   Rukki! If you had cookies, I would have gone straight to buy them from you.

Rukiora:   I have no such thing.

Rukiora:   Are they for your customers? I think they’re a little too cute to give out at the club. 

Miguel:   They’re for me, I just like them. 

Rukiora:   Oh, you’re so adorable.

Miguel:   Right? I AM adorable!

Rukiora:   Oh, never mind that. Look, the flower Fugio gave me. It’s still alive. Isn’t it amazing?

Miguel:   That’s love for ya.

Rukiora:   It is.

Rukiora:   I’m going to have my nose checked now. I want to be able to enjoy the fragrance while I still can.

Miguel:   I see. I hope your nose gets cleared up soon.

Rukiora:   Yes. Goodbye now.

Sound of her walking away.

Miguel:   …I think tonight’s going to be another sleepless night.

◆Pontartia - Chicchi’s Room

Fugio:   Chickachina, how I’ve missed you. We couldn’t stay and talk for long last time.

Fugio:   First, thank you for coming to my show. My heart was dancing just from seeing you there at the Agua Club. 

Chicchi:   Rukiora was there, too.

Fugio: Oh, right. So, that flower. Did it surprise you?

Chicchi:   Rukiora caught it.

Fugio:   My aim was abysmal. I really wanted you to catch it. I’m sorry!

Chicchi:   I see. She was really happy. She’s a big fan of yours.

Chicchi:   But I don’t want you to play with her feelings. She’s a dear friend to me.

Fugio:   I see. I didn’t mean to do so, but I admit it was wrong of me. I’m sorry.

Fugio:   I’ll throw it next time so that you catch it. No, maybe it’s better if I give it to you directly. 

Chicchi:   Rukiora is enamored with you. You’re all she talks about.

Fugio:   What about you? Talk about me, too.

Fugio:   About how you want to run away from Havenna with me.

Chicchi:   What a ridiculous conversation. 

Fugio:   You always avoid the topic whenever it leads to what’s outside Havenna. 

Fugio:   …Could it be that you have the strongest desire of all to see what’s out there?

Fugio:   Don’t you want to escape this harsh reality? 

Fugio:   Why? Why are you working as a mugwort seller? Debt? Is there something you need?

Fugio:   I can give you what it is you desire. Whatever you want, even a moment to make you forget reality.

Fugio:   So, just quit being a mugwort seller and…

Chicchi:   …Stop already!

Chicchi:   If you’re just going to pity me so much, then just stop buying me!

Chicchi:   What do you even know about me? …Jire! This customer is on his way out. 

Fugio:   Chickachina, calm down, I was out of line.

Jire:   Chickachina, what’s wrong?

Fugio:   It’s nothing. This is between the two of us.

Jire:   And I’m stepping in between the two of you as well.

Fugio:   Aren’t you just Domina’s lackey?

Jire:   What did you say? I’m Chicchi’s ally!

Fugio:   What can you do, with no status, prestige, or money?

Jire:   You’re one to talk! Buying mugwort all the time when you HAVE status, prestige, and money.

Fugio:   What was that?

Jire:   What’s your problem?!

Chicchi:   Stop!

Chicchi:   …It’s fine. I’ll just do my job. I’m a mugwort seller, after all.

Jire:   But, Chickachina…

Chicchi:   I’m sorry, Jire. Leave the room. I don’t want to be seen working. 

Fugio:   And this is time that I purchased. Am I mistaken?

Jire:   …Understood.

Fugio:   Oh, wait.

A clinking sound.

Fugio throws a tip.

Jire:   100 panie…!

Fugio:   It’s a tip. Go get yourself some kebab with that.

◆Pontartia

Jire:   Who’s he kidding with the kebab crap.

Jire:   I don’t need this!

Jire throws the 100 panie. 

Sound of him throwing the coin

Jire:   …Chicchi! Aah, Chickachina! ! I… I…! 

Jire:   The smell of mugwort is seeping into her body…!

Jire:   …

Jire:   …100 panie.

Jire picks up the coin.

Jire:   He has the power to give 100 panie as tip…

Jire:   What I have is…

Jire:   …Chicchi.

◆The Edge of Town

Father:   …Lost little lamb.

Jire:   …

Domina:   Oh, Jire. I didn’t think I’d run into you here. Have you been up to no good?

Jire:   Please don’t lump me in with you. I don’t have any sins to confess.

Jire:   I have something to talk to you about in regards to Chicchi. I’ll ask bluntly. What do you think about her?

Domina:   She’s a pupa who doesn’t know her place. She may grow to be a carbunculus-patterned butterfly.  

Jire:   You’re scared of her, aren’t you?

Jire:   Would you like to make a deal?

Domina:   A deal?

Jire:   Yes.

(5) Aromatic Havenna

◆Singing Pub

Rukiora:   Chicchi, Miguel! You came!

Chicchi:   You were lovely today as well. 

Miguel:   You sang like an angel.

Rukiora:   Hee-hee, thank you.

Rukiora:   Here, look, Fugio’s flower! Two petals fell, but it’s still in bloom!

Miguel:   Perhaps it’s the magic of love.

Chicchi:   It’s not a fake flower, is it?

Rukiora: A fake flower wouldn’t have a scent like this!

Rukiora:   Here, have a sniff. Hnnn, hahh, hnnn, hahh… Huh?

Chicchi:   What is it, Rukiora?

Rukiora:   I smell something displeasing.

Chicchi:   Huh? From Fugio’s flower?

Rukiora:   No. Mugwort.

Chicchi:   …That’s just your imagination isn’t it? Remember, your nose is stuffed.

Rukiora:   I changed doctors. Thanks to that, it’s getting better day by day.

Chicchi:   …!

Rukiora:   I DO smell it. That filthy stench… That dreadful stench. 

Miguel:   Maybe it’s this.

Rukiora:   What… The cookies?

Miguel:   There are all sorts of flavors. These are mugwort.

Rukiora:   What terrible taste you have, Miguel!

Miguel:   I didn’t think your nose would get better… Sorry!

Rukiora:   I’ll forgive you since you were honest.

Rukiora:   Ah, it’s time to give the flower some water. Excuse me for a moment.

Sound of her leaving.

Chicchi:   Thanks, Miguel. 

Miguel:   Never thought she’d change doctors

Miguel:   What are you going to do, Chicchi? If her nose gets completely better, she might notice the smell of mugwort on you.

Chicchi:   I’ll change perfumes. 

Miguel:   …Chicchi. I don’t think you can fool her forever. What about being honest with her?

Chicchi:   …

Miguel:   Or maybe… I’LL be the one who takes Rukiora and runs away from Havenna?

Chicchi:   You’re joking, right?

Miguel:   Yeah, just trying to distract us for a bit.

Chicchi:   Stop. I’m not in the mood for this right now.

Miguel:   Then, want a Bakuu cookie?

Chicchi:   I ate those as a kid. There aren’t any that are mugwort-flavored.

Chicchi:   You like those, Miguel?

Miguel:   I hate them. They’re dry and have no taste. But they remind me of the past.

Chicchi:   Are you eating them to not forget about the past?

Miguel:   That’s about right. You don’t have anything like that for yourself?

Chicchi:   Memories just make me feel empty.

Miguel:   That’s so like you.

◆Pontartia

Chicchi:   …

Jire:   What’s wrong? You don’t look great.

Chicchi:   Rukiora’s stuffed nose is starting to get better.

Jire:   Huh? But that hospital’s supposed to be full of quacks…

Chicchi:   She found another doctor.

Chicchi:   If she finds out the truth…

Jire:   It’ll be okay, Chicchi. God will protect you. 

Chicchi:   God’s been asleep for a long time.

◆ Pig’s Rear Street - Second District

Rukiora:   The flower smells so nice! I’m so glad I changed doctors.

Domina:   You’re in the way.

Rukiora:   Aaah?!

Sound of the two bumping into each other. 

In a hard collision, the flower falls onto the street.

The woman who bumped into her steps on the flower.

Rukiora:   What are you doing! Huh?!

Domina:   Well if it isn’t the moonlight princess of the singing pub.

Rukiora:   I feel sick… Of all people, I had to bump into you…!

Rukiora:   Ah, the flower. My flower…

Domina:   Flower?

Domina:   You mean this filthy trash under my shoe no different from a rat’s carcass?

Rukiora:   Move!!!

Rukiora:   How could you… The flower I got from Fugio!

Domina:   Oh, too bad I’m not sorry.

Rukiora:   Don’t you ‘not sorry’ me! What are you going to do about this?

Domina:   It’s not something to be so down about. Flowers wilt eventually. Humans are the same.

Rukiora:   Quiet! You vermicurmi! You rotten matrik woman!

Domina:   How rude. I am still in my prime.

Domina:   That’s why your father is still so obsessed with me!

Rukiora:   You dreadful mugwort woman…! Shut your filthy pig mouth!

Domina:   And how is that woman doing, tossed aside by her husband?

Rukiora:   Don’t make fun of my mother…! She’s… passed.

Domina:   I see. Facchio made no mention of that at all. 

Rukiora:   I’ve erased any memory of that man reeking of mugwort!

Rukiora:   Ah, I’m going to vomit! I’ll leave you all in this filthy putrid town… With Fugio, my beloved.

Domina:   Fugio? From the Agua Club?

Rukiora:   Yes! The princeps Fugio! One who would never reek of mugwort like you!

Domina:   So what if you found out that Fugio spends his time buying mugwort?

Rukiora:   Huh…?

Rukiora:   …What a joke! Fugio is Havenna’s treasure. He’s my idol!

Domina:   I don’t know if he’s an idol or an idiot, but I’m only telling you the truth.

Domina:   He’s a man stained by Havenna, collapsing every night in the arms of a mugwort seller.

Domina:   What an innocent young, Havenna-like woman you are, fooled by such ostentatious displays as his. 

Domina:   Your fate is to have everything taken away by mugwort sellers in the end.

Rukiora:   Lies… Lies!

Domina:   If you think it’s a lie, come by Pontartia sometime. Behind Ant Hill Alley.

Domina:   It’s possible… that he might come today.

Domina:   He’s mad about a woman named Chickachina.

Rukiora:   …Chickachina?

Domina:   You want me to tell you more? She…

Miguel:   Stop!

Rukiora:   Miguel…!

Domina:   What do you want?

Miguel:   Get away from her. If not…

Domina:   If not, then what? …Hmph! Out of my way!

Sound of her leaving.

Miguel:   Rukiora, are you all right?

Miguel:   That woman is a mugwort seller full of lies. Don’t take what she says seriously.

Rukiora:   Miguel.

Miguel:   Yeah?

Rukiora:   Then why did you interrupt her?

Miguel:   Because she says the most ridiculous things.

Rukiora:   …You lie so much that the truth is clear.

Miguel:   Rukiora? Ah! Wait, Rukiora!

(6) Fussy Havenna

◆Pontartia - Facchio’s Room

Chicchi:   Excuse me

Facchio:   Ah, come in, Chickachina

Chicchi:   You wanted to talk?

Facchio:   It’s as though you are my adorable daughter. I can ask about how you’re doing, can’t I?

Chicchi:   I’m having a lot of fun. All my customers are good people.

Facchio:   I’m glad to hear it. I want to ask you, my adorable little girl. 

Facchio:   Chickachina, what do you think about Domina?

Chicchi:   Domina? If you’re playing the role of my father, that would make Domina my kind stepmother. 

Facchio:   Chickachina. I swear I will never tell Domina.

Chicchi:   She’s an aged vermicurmi.

Facchio:   Ahaha! Oh the things you say behind people’s backs are always so amusing!

Facchio:   Domina’s a clever woman. She’s planning on a higher status in Havenna, using me as a stepping stone.

Chicchi:   Is that so?

Facchio:   Of course she is! Chickachina. Aren’t you interested in status as well? What would you think of becoming the madam of Pontartia?

Chicchi:   But the madam is Domina.

Facchio:   You’re popular among the men. You’re affectionate, and you knock them out quick. And above all, you’re clever.

Facchio:   There’s no one better suited to represent Pontartia.

Facchio:   Will you build this business with me?

Chicchi:   Facchio. I don’t intend on going from daughter to stepmother. 

Facchio:   Of course, I’ll prioritize whatever it is you wish. It’s just that there’s no mistake that a brighter world awaits you.

Facchio:   Just think about it. A woman of mine will wear a ring of carbunculus. 

Chicchi:   …I understand. I’ll think about it.

◆Outside Pontartia

Rukiora:   Pontartia… there’s no mistake. This is it.

Rukiora:   I can smell the mugwort even out here. Is it possible Fugio actually comes to a place like this?

Rukiora:   There’s no way such an upright and clean man could…

Rukiora:   …

Rukiora:   No, this isn’t right!

Rukiora:   I should be ashamed for getting led on by that woman and doubting him!

Rukiora:   I’ll go home… Huh?!

Rukiora:   Is that…?!

◆Pontartia

Chicchi:   Facchio wants me to be…

Jire:   …Chicchi. It’s time for work, Fugio’s coming.

Chicchi:   R-Right…

◆Pontartia - Chicchi’s Room.

Fugio:   Chickachina, I’ve missed you!

Chicchi:   Good evening, Fugio. You can’t sleep again?

Fugio:   I feel like my face is heavy with a mask I put on myself.

Chicchi:   All right, I’ll light some mugwort then…

Rukiora:   Hey!

Chicchi:   …!

Rukiora:   To think the princeps would come to a mugwort shop…!

Fugio:   You’re…

Chicchi:   A-Ah…

Rukiora:   Chicchi…!!!

Chicchi:   Aah, ah…

Rukiora:   …What is the meaning of this?

Chicchi:   I… I…

Fugio:   Let’s calm down for a moment.

Rukiora:   You be quiet! You falsa of a man!

Fugio:   Wha…

Rukiora:   Chicchi. We’re friends, right? Friends don’t hide things from each other, right?

Rukiora:   Tell me the truth. If so then I, I… will forgive you.

Chicchi:   Rukiora…

Chicchi:   Tell me!!!

Chicchi:   I… I…

Chicchi:   I’m actually a mugwort seller. A mugwort-selling woman, the likes of which you hate so much…

Chicchi:   I’m sorry for hiding it from you… You’re the one person I didn’t want to find out.

Chicchi:   Because I care about you. Because we’re friends…

Rukiora:   Chicchi…

Rukiora:   You’re terrible! To trick me like this!

Chicchi:   R-Rukiora…

Rukiora:   What do you mean ‘friends’?! You were ridiculing me, drenching yourself in mugwort with Fugio!

Chicchi:   No, Rukiora! I…

Rukiora:   You were jeering at me, exhilarated over a single flower!

Rukiora:   Don’t ever come near me with that disgusting stench ever again!

Sound of her running off

Rukiora leaves the shop.

Chicchi:   Rukiora!

Chicchi:   Ah, my dear friend…

Chicchi:   Because I’m… a mugwort seller.

Fugio:   Chickachina… Poor thing.

Fugio:   Come here!

Fugio takes Chicchi’s hand.

Chicchi:   Fugio?! Were are we going?

Fugio:   Towards hope.

Sound of them running off.

Jire watches in the shadows as the two of them exit Pontartia

Jire:   …

◆The Edge of Town

Rukiora arrives at the church.

Rukiora:   …Please let me confess!

Father:   Proceed.

Rukiora:   God… Please forgive me! Please forgive me for being unable to forgive such a dirty lie, unable to forgive my precious friend!

Rukiora:   I wanted to… I wanted to forgive her, but my head and my heart are all a mess, and I can’t do anything about it at all!

Rukiora:   Not only that, I want her to be punished, even though we’re friends! Even though we WERE friends!

Rukiora:   Or, am I the one in the wrong?

Rukiora:   Am I the terrible one? Is my heart the one that is dirty? Aagh!

Rukiora:   Is everything disappearing around me because I’m the one who’s no good? If only I had done better, If only I had more value, things wouldn’t have turned out like this?

Rukiora:   Then Father wouldn’t have been taken away, and Mother wouldn’t have gone mad?

Rukiora:   Please forgive me, forgive me, please forgive me. Please take out my heart, and wash away all its sins.

Rukiora:   Please forgive me, forgive me, please forgive me, forgive me…

Miguel:   Mind letting me confess too?

Rukiora:   Miguel…! What is all that luggage?

Miguel:   I’m leaving Havenna. I finally saved enough money.

Miguel:   In fact, I’ve been able to leave for a while now. I just kept letting things drag on.

Miguel:   But I made up my mind after watching you run off. 

Rukiora:   Whatever do you mean?

Miguel:   My family is made up of poor neshiromi farmers. We are not from Havenna.

Miguel:   With so much debt, the farm was in danger, so I was sent to Havenna to earn money.

Miguel:   But now that I have enough saved, I’m going back home.

Rukiora:   What are you here to confess about, then?

Miguel:   For lying to myself.

Miguel:   Rukiora, I’m in love with you. 

Rukiora:   What?

Miguel:   Escape from Havenna with me.

(7) Drowning Havenna

◆Pontartia

Facchio:   Chickachina! Where’s my pupa?

Domina:   She went off somewhere with a man.

Facchio:   Domina! Why didn’t you stop them?

Domina:   I saw my younger self in her and thought she might get in my way, so I just thought to rip off her wings before she became a beautiful butterfly. You don’t need two women, Facchio.

Facchio:   What a terrifying woman you are!

Domina:   Who’s the terrifying one here?! You ebrietas of a man. I’m the one who raised Pontartia to who she is, you leech.

Domina moves behind Facchio

Facchio:   What are you doing! Stop!

Domina:   My skills have not yet dulled. Hmph.

Facchio:   Rrghk!

Sound of him dropping to the ground.

Domina:   …Chickachina, Facchio. Now everyone in my way is gone.

Domina:   I’ll confess to God later.

◆Havenna Lakeshore

Fugio:   Alright, we’re here.

Chicchi:   This is the lake.

Fugio:   Right. We’re going to cross it on a ferry and reach the other side.

Chicchi:   Stop, Fugio. I don’t want this.

Fugio:   Then what DO you want?! Your lie has been found out by your dear friend.

Fugio:   Is it money? Status? Fame?

Chicchi:   I don’t want any of that.

Fugio:   Then tell me, Chickachina. I want to help you.

Jire:   Chicchi!

Jire runs forward. He has a knife in his hand.

Chicchi:   Jire! What are you holding…

Fugio:   A knife…

Jire:   Celebrities have so much confidence. To think you’d take Chicchi away from Havenna.

Fugio:   Urk…

Jire:   Chicchi. Come back here. This man is nothing more than a thief.

Chicchi:   …No, Jire. This man is the princeps of the Agua Club. Rumors will spread quickly.

Jire:   Then…

Jire:   All I can do is pretend I didn’t see anything.

Jire:   Chicchi, you decide.

Jire:   Whether you’ll cross the lake with that man and leave Havenna, or punish him and come back to Pontartia.

Chicchi:   Jire…

Chicchi:   I won’t cross the lake, nor will I punish him.

Fugio:   Chickachina…

Jire:   That’s not a choice you can make! You need to leave. I don’t want to see you dirtied by rumors.

Jire:   When you first came to Havenna, you were pure as the purest white. A vase for a single flower, descended down to us in the snow. 

Jire:   To watch you poisoned by this town, stained by the scent of mugwort is… painful.

Fugio:   Even he agrees. Leave Havenna with me.

Fugio:   If you do, you can become pure again. You won’t have to lie anymore.

Chicchi:   …

Chicchi:   …Leave Havenna so I can become pure again? How can you decide that all on your own?

Chicchi:   I came to Havenna of my own free will. When I leave Havenna, it will be of my own free will as well.

Jire:   Chicchi…

Chicchi:   It was you who provoked Domina into telling everything to Rukiora, wasn’t it Jire?

Jire:   I…

Chicchi:   How arrogant of you to get Fugio involved in this.

Jire:   Chicchi, I just wanted you to…

Chicchi:   You should confess to God. Before I can no longer stand you. Goodbye.

Chicchi leaves.

Sound of her leaving.

Jire:   Chicchi!

Fugio:   You…

Jire:   Uurgh…

Jire:   I… just cared about her so much…

Fugio:   I understand

Jire:   …Thank you.

Jire:   Hey, sorry for dragging you into this. Will you join me in the confession booth?

◆Pontartia 

Sound of murmurs

A crowd forms around the shop.

Domina and Facchio are arguing.

Facchio:   You finally showed your true colors, you sneak!

Domina:   What about you? Isn’t it about time you realized you’re about to be fired?

Chicchi:   Facchio and Domina?

Man:   They’re arguing over who gets ownership.

Woman:   It seems like the fight led into an investigation, and it turns out this shop is illegal.

Chicchi:   I see. That’s terrible.

◆Pig’s Rear Street - Second District

Chicchi staggers.

Chicchi:   …

Chicchi:   Ugh…

Chicchi:   Urgh… Aagh…

Chicchi:   Aaaaaagh…

Rukiora’s voice can be heard.

???:   Oh, Rama Havenna! As warm as a baby’s first bath.

Chicchi:   …?!

Rukiora’s voice continues.

???:   Oh, Rama Havenna! As gentle as a rocking cradle.

Chicchi:   Rukiora.

Chicchi:   Rukiora!

◆Singing Pub

Chicchi runs into the pub.

Chicchi:   Rukiora!!!

Rukiora:   Chicchi…!

Chicchi:   Rukiora. I…

Rukiora:   I was asked to leave Havenna with someone.

Chicchi:   Huh?

Rukiora:   By Miguel. He wasn’t raised in Havenna.

Rukiora:   He said he’ll be returning to his family of neshiromi farmers… He wants me to come with him. 

Chicchi:   Miguel…?

Chicchi:   Ah, right. I see. Miguel was finally able to be honest with himself.

Chicchi:   …I’m sorry.

Chicchi:   Miguel told me as well. That I needed to tell you the truth. But I couldn’t.

Chicchi:   I just didn’t want you to hate me.

Chicchi:   I thought that instead of hurting you, it would be better for me to stay silent.

Rukiora:   I see.

Chicchi:   I wanted us to become true friends.

Rukiora:   …I see.

Rukiora:   Even if it meant lying?

Chicchi:   …Yes

Rukiora:   Your problem has always been that you’re too lovable.

Chicchi:   Huh?

Rukiora:   Hey, Chicchi. Are you able to forgive me?

Chicchi:   Huh? What do you mean?

Rukiora:   I lied to you, too. I was unable to tell you the truth.

Chicchi:   That’s not true! You’ve done nothing wrong.

Rukiora:   Then, forgive me. That’s far simpler than having God forgive me. It’s a pain to go all the way to the church.

Chicchi:   But…

Rukiora:   Chicchi!

Chicchi:   …I forgive you. I forgive you, Rukiora.

Rukiora:   Then I forgive you, too.

Chicchi:   Rukiora…!

Rukiora:   When Miguel asked me to go with him, the first thing that came to mind was you.

Rukiora:   When you listened to my song, so full of tears. You were so beautiful.

Rukiora:   Whether you’re a mugwort seller or a kebab seller, I don’t care. You’re you. My dear friend.

★Song "Faded Color"

Chicchi:   Rukiora…

Chicchi:   …Pontartia’s gone.

Rukiora:   You can just sing here with me. Dancing would be good, too.

Chicchi:   But what about Miguel? Aren’t you going to leave Havenna with him?

Rukiora:   There is a desire in his heart that Havenna cannot fulfill.

Rukiora:   I do like Miguel, but he and I desire different things.

Rukiora:   I want to be with you.

Chicchi:   Rukiora…

Rukiora:   …Chicchi, can I ask you one more thing?

Chicchi:   What is it?

Rukiora:   I want to know the truth.

Rukiora:   Coming here to Havenna, going so far as to become a mugwort seller… What was it that you desired?

Chicchi:   …

Chicchi:   I’ve been asked this question by everyone. But I’ll tell the truth only to you, Rukiora.

Chicchi:   I wanted to live the life of a mugwort seller.

Monologue:   After that, Chicchi and Rukiora lived their lives. Singing and dancing, laughing and crying in Havenna, the town of desire and pleasure.

(8) Havenna

◆Back Alley

A few days later, Chicchi stands in a back alley.

A man appears. It is the priest.

Chicchi:   …Oh, Rama Havenna. As warm as a baby’s first bath. Oh, Rama Havenna, As gentle as a rocking cradle.

Father:   …

Chicchi:   It’s you…

Father:   I cannot sleep.

Father:   I cannot sleep, night after night. What should I do?

Chicchi:   I see…

Chicchi:   Shall I burn some mugwort for you?

Father:   Oh, Rama Havenna.

The End

[reminder-setusername]

I don't really get how people "do things".

Every couple of months, I get the urge to "do things": go downtown for an event, or find a new online group, or something - because I generally don't do that (I basically only leave my apartment for work, groceries and doctor appointments - because I have no reason to go out for anything else).

So, I look up events - then scroll through a ton of things that aren't appealing to me or what I'm looking for. Not to mention that most things are $100 for admission - with no guarantee I'll like it.

Plus, my city suffers severe urban sprawl, so going downtown is a full-on day trip. Oh, and it's always scheduled for the nighttime - there's basically nothing for the daytime, when I'm awake (I'm sleep-deprived enough already, thank you).

It also doesn't help that I don't know what I like - only what I don't (crowds, loud noise, and generic "look at thing" activities, that feel entirely interchangeable).

So, then I try to find online things - like DnD groups on Discord or Roll20, since TTRPGs at least require interaction and that's more than most activities.

But I can never figure out that stuff - assuming I find something that fits my interests (and isn't dead, or filled with people yelling at each other), they all have the same formatting:

- Welcome to World 5795, please make a character from a vacuum, and if eldrich gods roll a nat 20, you can play with us - no guarantees you'll enjoy it though because we don't care what you're looking for, just warm bodies to roll math rocks for us.

For me, this is entirely backwards to how I create characters - starting from the concept I'm looking to explore and the dynamics of the world and other characters - then seeing which of my ideas can be incorporated into what they are making. Class and stuff doesn't matter to me at all - why is that the first thing people ask?

It's the same issue I've had with video games, and why I've only gotten into one (ESO) in the last year - my fun is creating a character that wants to engage with the world in my own way, not the "one true path". In ESO, my main character is happiest dodging the plot - and I have 6 other characters for doing the stories - in their own ways.

Anyways, what I realized, and why I'm writing this rant thing is... I realized I'd rather get into filling out job applications than look for "fun".

I mean, do you know how hard you have to work to make something more boring than job applications? How is finding fun activities worse than THAT?

Now I remember why the mood to "do things" only strikes once every few months - it sucks.

Fun is... not fun - especially when you don't get joy from being around other people - which is apparently a thing most people experience? I only found out about that at 24 - and I'm still not convinced that's a real thing.

I've never liked being around people in general - largely because they either get really invasive and assume they know me better than I do, or they just exist near me for a time, claim we're friends, and then vanish.

I think this is part of why I usually hate social media - or really engaging with anything where people know who I am or my deal. I always end up having to do what they think is fun, and it's miserable.

That's why - after seeing some YouTube stuff about Tumblr, I decided to give it a shot - anonymous, and not curated by an algorithm so I can engage with what I find fun. Turns out, not really (the description of the "for you" tab says there is an algorithm, and I only see the same handful of posts over and over), but at least I can post weird stuff like this because my personal information isn't on here - and it's acceptable to say it's none of your business!

Anyways, I guess I just wanted to melodramaticaly proclaim "fun is dead!" because, while I'm sure fun is out there, the process of finding it is worse than job applications - and I just feel like I'm watching everyone else have fun through a window, and it's easier to assume you all are tricksters, than that I'm missing out on something.

[leftdaggered]

independent & selective rebekah mikaelson from the cw's tvd universe. primarily focused around the originals + legacies. est. 2019. re 2024. loved by katy. (she/her. 30+/est.) those under 18? dni. medium to low activity

i'm just getting back into tumblr rp after being on a different platform. so please bear with me while i re-understand how to use this site & figure everything out!

rules under the cut!

01. i am selective, which means i prefer interacting with mutuals only. while i do not follow for follow, there's a high probability that i will follow back. the only reason i wouldn't follow back, is if i can't see our muses interacting or you're an oc and i can't find your about/rules page.

02. given the themes of tvd (and the supernatural genre as a whole), darker tones will be presented throughout this blog. please follow at your own leisure. this said, i will not be tagging blood, gore, language or violence. if these themes trigger you, please keep yourself safe and don't follow. i will do my best to tag the more important things though.

03. i am a turtle at replying. either you get a response in 24 hours or it takes me 3-6 business days or once every year. there's no helping it. sometimes the muse doesn't want to cooperate and i listen. i also do not have a particular order of how i respond. i am notorious for drafting literally everything. chances are, it's sitting there waiting for muse to strike. i promise, i'm not ignoring you.

04. i accept any length. i am a firm believer in quality over quantity. give me what you feel like writing. as long as you give me something to work with? i'm fine with it. i do prefer lengthier things (multi para, i very rarely do novella but i can). but i will accept para responses.

05. i am oc, duplicate and multimuse friendly. if you're an oc? please have an about somewhere i can easily find. if you're a multi? please try to specify muse. i know it can be difficult, but i'm an indecisive bitch, so i would appreciate it if you could help me out!

06. i ship chemistry and i am multiship. i don't often go out of my way to seek romance in threads. if it happens, it happens. i tend to focus more on the character development and the storyline. but if you're interested in shipping? please feel free to reach out. i would also prefer if we've interacted prior to asking.

07. i use small text and icons. i will occasionally bold and italicize words to emphasize what my muse is saying. you do not have to match my writing style. if you need me to fix my formatting to make it easier to read? please let me know in advance.

08. callout culture or drama is not welcome here. same goes for anon hate. i'm in my 30's, i've been rpin' for over a decade and i've seen it all. if it's something of utmost importants? such as warning the community of someone dangerous? and receipts are included? i will reblog. but i will not partake in petty he said/she said drama. please keep me out of it. there's too much negativity in the world already and i want this to be a nice, positive space for myself and my mutuals. if you have a problem with me? either unfollow me if you can't be civil? or come approach me and we can work it out.

[one-eyed-son]

BASICS

Please, please be kind and patient. 18 or older. No Minors Communication is KEY, if you're not gonna reply for a bit just let me know. Please don't just ghost. I really prefer if you just tell me you don't want RP. I don't write on Discord, or in Tumblr DMs. But my DMs are always open.

PLOTTING

I love to plot! Plotting gets me more invested in threads and pairings. But I hate one-sided plotting, especially with OCs. If you want to come plot, come to me with ideas! I will do the same.

MEMES

My memes never expire, you can use them whenever you see them. But if it has been a while since I posted them I would appreciate you linking the post in the ask.

FORMATING

I'm not picky when it comes to formatting, I will usually mirror my partners. But please write in the 3rd person, it's just easier to read and write with for me.

OCS

OCs are always welcome! I love OCs, I have quite a few of them myself! I have nothing against them, but if you want to plot with an OC and a canon character bring some ideas to start with. Crossovers are always welcome but may have to be plotted.

TRIGGERS

This blog will feature mature themes, such as death, abuse, drugs, alcohol, violence, sexual situations, and incest. Will always do my best to tag, these things, but just be aware. Triggers will also be present in Character Bios as well. Triggers will be tagged as such:

tw: *trigger here*

SELECTIVITY

I am selective in who I write with, I look at the muses, and see if I see any possible interactions. I do try to give everyone an option. If I am not feeling a thread or a pairing I have the right to stop. I'll let you know if I am not feeling it and we can go from there. You can do the same just let me know. Aemond can be finicky at times, and he isn't going to get along with every muse thrown at him.

SHIPPING

I love to ship! Let’s chat and plan! There needs to be chemistry between the characters, and I usually like to start an interaction and develop it not just jump straight into it. Not all ships, interactions, or threads have to be romantic, I love platonic, family pairings too!

MUTUALS

My mains will usually have the forefront of my attention. I know them the best and they are RP partners that I talk with, plot with, and gush about ideas with so ideas for our characters and threads are always racing through my head. If you want to be a main, feel free to ask. I don't write with just mains, so always feel free to reach out.

INTERACTIONS

Memes are always a fun way to get the ball rolling so feel free to send those in! Or also feel free to simply jump into my DMs. It's the best way to get ahold of me. I love talking about characters, plots, headcanons, all the things. If you follow me, and I follow back and DM, and nothing happens between us within a week I'll usually unfollow. If you wanna write with me don't be afraid to jump into my DMs or send in some memes!

[unseededtoast]

Antedate | Bucky Barnes

Part 3/13 | Part Two, Part Four

Summary: Sometimes making the right decision feels like the wrong one. That decision can stick with you for years and leave you wondering what would happen if you had chosen something else. But the alternatives likely lead to a much darker path; you'll never know for sure though. One thing is for certain, the decisions I have made will have lasting consequences.

Prequel to Rectify

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, physical and mental abuse, mention and description of death

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

"Make him a blank canvas."

The computer screen is bright as the application loads. To my father's dismay, it's taken me four months to go through Zola's programming and pick out weaknesses. The programming was way more complicated than I originally thought it was going to be. However, I was able to pick out a few pieces that I think can be strengthened. 

My father told me that my work must be conducted away from prying eyes, so now I work alone in the cryogenesis room. The Soldier in the chamber always keeps me on edge, I feel uneasy working in here. For some reason I always have the feeling that at any moment the Soldier will awaken and break out of the chamber. Though even if that did happen I know Zola's programmed words to make him compliant to me.

I dread the day that I have to wake him up and get him out of the chamber. It won't be for a while yet, but, I'm nervous about it. I don't know what it's going to be like and quite honestly I don't want to look into the eyes of the man who I am destroying. The more I think about what my mission is, the clearer it becomes that I am only fueling Hydra's cruelty and that I am no better than anyone else, for I too am playing an active part now.

The computer application finally loads and I take a moment to poke around and understand how to use it. The application will allow me to run simulations to show how programming will affect someone's mind. There's already a brain scan loaded into the application, I just have to code Zola's programming and upload it. 

Once I have Zola's programming loaded into the application, I then can create my own programming and layer it in the application to show me how the brain will be affected. From there, I will have to awaken the Soldier to implement it in his mind. 

This is all easier said than done, I barely have any computer programming skills. It's going to be entirely difficult to translate Zola's program into computer code. I have faith that I can figure it out but I guarantee I won't do it fast enough to please my father. If he could have it his way this entire mission would have been completed five months ago.

I spend the rest of the day trying to write the code to upload but feel as if I've hit a dead end. This is way over my head. I don't know where to start. I sigh and lean back in the chair, feeling frustrated about it. I know better than to ask someone in our technology sector for help since this is a covert mission.

I look around the room, trying to find some inspiration or hoping that an idea will magically come to me. The cold room offers nothing for inspiration, just old technology. I tap my fingers on the desk the computer sits at, thinking of the options I have. I could continue struggling here, I could give up for the day. Each of these options is sure to make my father mad. He hates if I waste even a second of time. 

I turn the computer off and leave the room, locking it behind me. I tuck the key into my pocket and stare at the floor as I leave the laboratory. I still can't look at anyone in here, not after Leopold.

I get to the hallway and fix my posture, walking with my shoulders back and head held high. There's only one solution to this problem that I can think of; I have to teach myself how to code. I just need a moderate understanding of how it works and then I'm sure I'll be able to figure it out from there. 

I walk to the technology department of the base and see a man sitting at a desk. He looks up at me with tired eyes before he sits up straight and changed his demeanor. 

"Miss Averina, what an unexpected surprise. What can I do for you today?" He asks in a fake cheerful tone. I smile at him,

"I would like some materials pertaining to code writing." I keep my request short and sweet. The man raises an eyebrow, 

"Code writing? You weren't placed in the technology division, why do you need that material?" He questions. Though he has a fair point, I can't tell him. I quickly make up an excuse, 

"It's for my own entertainment." I say. I can tell that the man is still apprehensive about giving me what I need. Before he can say anything, I get one more word in,

"I think my father would be glad to know the technology division helped me out." I say. I hate pulling the father card, but I'll do it if it means I can finish my mission. The man squints his eyes and stands from the desk. He walks out of sight and I look around while I wait for him to return.

The man returns with a few books in hand and sets them on the desk for me to take. I grab the books, which are heavier than they look, and bow my head slightly to the man. 

"Thank you." I say and he nods,

"Yes, give your father our regards." He says, still in an obviously artificial happiness. I turn my back on the man and go to my room, where I like to do most of my research and reading. My room is private and many people will not interrupt me here. There is a common area I could do this in, but there are too many eyes and ears there. 

My room is the only place in the entire base that I feel completely at ease. It's my little safe haven. Or at least, it used to be. Ever since Agent Winthrop stopped by the one day I've been a little on edge. I'm always anxious about if he's going to show up again or not. 

Interrupting my already anxious thoughts, someone knocks on my door. My stomach twists in anxiety as I go to open it. I wipe a sweaty palm on my pants and open the door. I see a security guard staring down at me. This is a first. 

"Miss Averina, your father requested your presence in his office at once." The man speaks formally. I nod my head, not understanding why my father would want to talk to me. The guard walks away and I quickly put some shoes on before making the trip to my father's office. 

I knock on his door and am invited in by my father. He doesn't look upset, nor happy. This could mean just about anything. He places a hand on his chin as he paces back and forth for a few minutes. He's building the tension for a reason, I'm sure of it. He stops pacing and looks at me. I stare back without a word, knowing he is the one that's to start the conversation since he's the one that summoned me here. 

"I'd like to have a word with you about your mission." He says. He motions for me to take a seat and I do. I'm not entirely sure of where this is going.

"Yes?" I ask him as he takes a seat behind his desk. He sighs,

"I've done some thinking over the past few days. I want to give you some more specifics. I want you to improve what Zola created, but I also want you to completely erase the Soldier's memories. Make him a blank canvas. I think it would be very advantageous to have a Soldier with no memories." He says and my heart drops. I already thought I was ruining a man, but to also erase his memories? I'm entirely uncomfortable with that idea. However, I can't tell my father no. 

"Yes, sir. I can do that. I've started teaching myself how to code, so that I can use the simulator application. I expect I will be working on my own code in two weeks or less." I say, knowing well enough that I probably won't start my own code for at least another month. I'll have to find some excuse to stall.

"I would prefer if it didn't take two weeks. However, I need this to be perfect and am willing to wait. But not long. Do not keep me waiting, you hear me?" He asks and I nod. I hear him loud and clear. 

"Yes, sir. I understand. I promise that I will not fail or disappoint you, I will honor the family name." I say, laying it on extra thick for him. I don't need him questioning my dedication or loyalty. I see a small smile on his lips, 

"I expect great things from you, Adalyn. You are excused." He says and I nod my head and leave his office. 

How can he so casually ask me to wipe a person's entire memory? I already don't want to destroy this man by creating a perfect code, but I don't know if I can bring myself to erase everything. The Soldier was somebody before he was taken in by Hydra. Surely he doesn't remember his life before, due to Zola's programming, but they're probably still in his mind somewhere. 

I don't know if I can strip that away from him. Perhaps there's a way that I can write my code but leave his memories alone. I don't know how my father intends to check if his memories are still in his mind or not. I could always lie and say that I erased them. But, if my lie is found out then I am sure to join my mother. 

Instead of returning to my room, I decide to go visit my mother's grave. A guard opens the door for me and I hug my arms closely to my chest, regretting not going to pick up my coat. I trudge through the snow to where I think my mother's grave is. There's no marker for any of the graves, so I take a guess as to where she is. 

I stand looking at the ground, hoping I found the right spot. I let out a sigh, and the breath leaves my mouth in a white cloud of condensation. I talk to her quietly, not wanting the outdoor guards to hear anything I have to say. 

"I need your help. I don't know what to do. Father wants me to completely destroy a man, but I don't want to do it. I don't even want to write the code. Things are so different now, mom. I miss you, a lot. I wish you were here." I say. I hear a sound in the trees and look up, seeing a black and white bird with red around its eyes sitting on a branch. 

I recognize the bird, my mother always loved the grouses that ran around in the forest. They're kind of funny looking, I always thought. Now that mom is gone, I think I can finally see the beauty she saw in them. They're free, able to run around and do whatever they please. Their coloring is intricate, but has a simplicity to it. 

I take the bird as a symbol that my mother is with me, though not physically. I take in a big breath and feel as if I've made up my mind. I'm not going to erase the man's memories. I can't do it. It's too inhumane and cruel, not to mention unnecessary. 

I go back to my room and begin reading the coding books again. I know I can't avoid writing the code, I know that I am choosing to exercise as much mercy and kindness as I can to this man. It's what mom would have done and I know it's what she would have wanted me to choose. I can't bring myself to be fully comforted by this decision though, I'm still going to be responsible for making him a weapon of Hydra. 

[th3-z0diac]

How I Make Aesthetics.

Long post ahead, sorry :(

In the past, I've been asked multiple times how I create my aesthetics and where do I get the best pictures for them, so I figured I'd make this master post of what exactly I do. Btw this is coming from a person who has studied graphic design for 4 years and had about 4 years of experience in making zodiac collages here on tumblr. Do what you want with that information.

A few disclaimers

There are different types of aesthetics and in this post, I'm going to be specifically talking about a certain type that I like to make. Here, examples:

My most used format is 6 pictures in 3 rows, but I've also tried 4 pictures, like here for example:

There are other types such as minimalistic photos, dark academia, grunge, and SO many more. Please keep in mind that I'm not hating on these types and when I mention a rule such as don't use photos that are too minimalistic, I am not saying that minimalistic aesthetics are wrong or ugly or anything of that sort!

Just because I don't choose a certain photo doesn't mean I don't like it, it just means that the photo is not exactly what I'm looking for. By me showing you the examples below, I'm just trying to paint a picture. No hate here, okay?

I don't own any of the pictures I use (I've only used like one or two of my own photos in the past) but then again this is just for entertainment, I don't make money doing this or anything. If I ever get a message from an owner of any of these photos and they want me to delete it, I will delete it.

Where to get the photos

Pinterest! Period. AHAHAHA

No but seriously, pinterest and tumblr are my two favorite sources and you will find pretty much exactly what you need there. pinterest specifically.

On tumblr, I usually search for hipster, grunge, indie, and nature, but it also helps to just find specific blogs that focus on photography, follow them and then just download anything from your dashboard that you fancy.

I'll share what I search for on pinterest below👇. My secret tip would be to not always go for the first photo you find but rather to open a picture that sorta has what you like in it and then scroll down, because pinterest is going to recommend you similar, sometimes better fitting photos. On tumblr, I sometimes go to the blog of the person whose one photo I like, and there I tend to find many more of the same kind (since these bloggers usually post a specific kind of aesthetic).

How to choose photos

My number one tip would be to seek texture. Avoid photos that have little going on in them and anything too empty or minimalistic (unless that's what you're aiming for, obviously). Also, don't choose pictures that are very light or very dark, as they tend to stand out in aesthetics and that's not really what you want. At least in the type of aesthetics that I make, I want the final product to be almost a new picture in itself if that makes sense. To show you an example, look at this photo of two sleeping cats:

This photo seems like a good fit; it is well balanced in colours (there are shades of white, beige/ginger as well as some greens) and c'mon, it's two cats, what more do you need!!! However, let's look at it in a complete aesthetic:

While this aesthetic has a nice color scheme to it (well, it doesn't, I threw it together super quickly, but you get the gist), the photo of the two cats just stands out because the khaki background creates this kind of block of color that your eye will automatically go to and it sort of breaks the collage apart. So, by texture, I mean that a picture is filled, for example with trees, flowers, architecture, little people in the background, etc., etc. Furthermore, I prefer when there are more things photographed (for instance, look at the first picture of the aesthetic above; it has a mirror (and a tiny person in it), architecture and leaves all in one picture)

Next, personality. Go to Google Images and search 'Nature Photography' or 'Sunset Photos'. You might get something like this:

Or this:

Look at this absolute angel of a boy💚💚💚💚💚💚Isn't he the cutest freaking thing you've ever seen?????? I just want to give him all the treats and all the pets and — ...ehm, sorry, that's not why we're here.

So I don't quite know how to explain this point, but I guess usually professional photos like this are just so well done that they work perfectly well on their own and you usually don't put them in a set (only with other photos from the same photoshoot maybe). They're obviously well-balanced color-wise and high in quality, but they're just very individual and don't really need any addition in the form of other photos. This point also applies to the previous one (textures, in case you forgot); for example, a bunch of blueberries creates a nice texture, however it might be difficult to pair them with other photos. They have enough personality on their own (and this is not meant in a bad way to the photos I do use).

Related to this, you're looking for a story. Usually, if a photo gives off a certain vibe, tells a story, or just leaves any kind of strong impression, it might be a good indication that this is a good photo to use (given all the other rules as well, of course).

The main themes I search for are:

cities, villages, or abandoned places

related to that — architecture or only parts (details) of it

nature, specifically forests with either road or a body of water nearby, beaches, deserts and so on. plus points for tiny people in the distance

animals, usually with the addition of maybe the texture of a sweater sleeve or some blankets, something of that sort

people, my favorite kind is people turned away from the camera with an interesting background, because by them not having a face, they become a bit more relatable in a sense?

people in a river or some kind of water

museums, sculptures

etc.

Usually, I tend to avoid:

photos with text in it (though as an exception I would mention neon signs or letters/words that are for example above shops, on books, etc.)

heavily filtered pictures

photos with very specific (often bold) colors in them, unless you find multiple photos with that same shade. this again distracts the eye too much

GIFs, animated pictures, illustrations/drawings. also, don't use collages (cause you are creating a collage, duh)

black & white pictures

blurred pictures (or those that are purposely grainy — that goes back to the filters above)

anything obviously photoshopped

When trying to figure out where to put each photo

Squint your eyes. The photos should create a nice harmony, there shouldn't be a corner where it gets too light or dark or where some textures blend together, for example, if using multiple flower patterns, try to place them in different corners.

When to know your aesthetic is done

Actually even before you start, you should be in the mood. I have to admit, there have been times where I've felt pressured into making aesthetics, and now, looking back at them, I'm really ashamed of them. That is why I don't always post aesthetics as soon as I get them requested because I genuinely want them to look good.

Sometimes, it helps to not post the aesthetic straight away but to come back to it later with a fresh look. I'd say go with your gut. You should have a good, satisfying feeling about the aesthetic.

Last note

Rules are meant to be broken. Look at the aesthetic below. I used a minimalistic illustration (two birds with one stone I guess) (and admittedly, that one picture does stand out) and yet the aesthetic still came out pretty nice. So, just play around with your ideas and see what you like the most! I'm just a random person on the internet, you literally don't have to listen to any of the tips I gave you here today.

I know this might seem like a lot (honestly, if you've read this entire thing, you're crazy), but it gets easier and easier with practice, soon you won't even think about it.

Hopefully these tips will help you and please let me know if you decide to make any aesthetics. I would love to see them!! <3

[madminniefics]

2017 fic goals

[not-poignant]

"i also know readers who stop commenting if they don't get replies" i do that (though i'm not very proud of it bc it lowkey sounds like blackmail "if u dont reply i wont comment"). writing a comment even if it's only a few paragraphs long can take me 1-2 hours (or more) so if i know i'm not even going to get a simple "thanks" from the author, it feels like i struggled writing the comment for nothing. either i stop commenting or i only leave really short comments like "i like it" from then onward

Yeah, same same, pretty much.

I think about this a lot. Because a lot of the rhetoric is ‘well the author put in the effort to write, so you should be able to comment’ (which I hate, it’s a false equivocation, and is bullshit). And then there’s also the rhetoric of ‘if you think it’s hard to comment, you should try being a writer’ (which I hate, because that’s just manipulative dreck).

It’s one thing to encourage comment culture, that’s great. Fandom is meant to be - for some - an interactive experience after all. And that’s why I think that authors/writers who comment in response to commenters, consistently get more comments. Because you have the bulk of readers who just want to read, they are not necessarily there for the full fannish experience y’know? I guarantee that most of us just often want to switch off, read, masturbate/fall asleep/cry/feel fluffy (whatever your kinks are) and that’s that. Right?

BUT then there’s those of us who enjoy the fannish experience too. Like, some enjoy it via lurking. Reading the comments and replies. Coming to Tumblr to watch. Some like participating. The people who like to participate, they want - amazingly - participation. And if you have a conversation that goes like this:

Person A: ‘Hi I did this thing!’ Person B: ‘I LOVE THIS THING. Here’s why! Omg!’ Person A: *silence* *never responds*

Like...that is not a very participatory experience. So for the people who do take the effort to participate in the author-reader experience via comments specifically, I do believe - at least for myself - participating in that is important.

I look to see if authors comment on reader responses, before I respond. If they don’t, or if they have a low hit rate (i.e. they responded to one thing, and nothing else), 99.99999999% of the time I don’t comment. Those of you who comment on fics you know you won’t get a response for, you are doing god’s work and I hope you are being surrounded by cute animals you aren’t allergic to and comfort foods that never cause you adverse reactions.

That’s not all of us. I daresay that isn’t even most of us who do participate in AO3 comment culture. And there is a comment culture, and it’s more than just authors occasionally engaging in guilt-tripping to get readers to comment. The author has a role in it too, if they want it, and it will encourage more comments, if they take that path.

If I see that the author responds, I’m more likely to write a comment. Like you, I find commenting hard. I think it’s worthwhile, but only in a participatory sense. I.e. I don’t really see the point in screaming praise into the void. Comments for me often take a long time to write (Tumblr replies don’t count, I can dash them off quickly, but actual AO3 replies usually involve this process: ‘read fic on my phone -> get up from bed / whole body pain -> walk to desktop computer and pull up AO3 link -> spend 1-2 hours composing comment -> possibly too fatigued to do anything for the next few hours.’

Tbh, even if people didn’t have a high energy cost for writing comments, I still think it’s valid to want it to be participatory, when it’s a participatory format. Comments on AO3 offer the opportunity to be threaded and so on for a reason, after all.

It’s a hard subject to talk about, because authors will often throw ‘but I put the hard work in to write it in the first place!!!!1!!!’ - but one thing they tend to forget is no one is obligated to engage in any created work just because it was created. No one is obligated to like it once they do. No one is obligated to respond once they have liked it. And no one is obligated to respond in the same way if they like it. Some people subscribe, some people bookmark, some people kudos, some people comment, some people comment if they know they’re going to get a reply, some people send asks, some people look for the next fic because they’re just there to read.

I think also, it’s a little bit compliment culture. It’s just a fact of life that if you praise someone endlessly and they constantly say nothing or even knock you back instead of saying ‘thank you’ - eventually, the compliments stop. Because you’re being treated as though your praise is worthless. Praise is something that makes (some of) us vulnerable to give, just as it can make us vulnerable to receive it. I honestly think, for me, responding to comments and praise in particular, is entering into a pact of cooperation and participation.

I don’t always respond to everything, though I really want to, but yeah, anyway, that’s why my personal policy as a writer is ‘always respond to comments’ (even if people hate it, my general perspective is that most don’t, my comment counts quite outside of my own responses have always been higher than average), and my personal policy as a reader is ‘if I love this, I will think about commenting, but the likelihood drops precipitously if I see they have a pattern of non-response.’ On the other side of that, if I get responses from an author, I am WAY more likely to comment in the future. My joyful participation will get a joyful response, and I will know my words aren’t worthless, in the same way the author will know their words aren’t worthless.

And that’s why I do things the way I do, and why I relate to you as a reader, anon. I know we’re not alone, even though people rarely talk about this stuff.

(I also know that some authors find the writing much easier than writing responses to comments, because of time / emotional labour etc. I just also think when you factor in how many fics readers are often reading, there’s a time / emotional labour issue there too. (I mean let’s remember folks, fanfiction is meant to be fun for everyone). People just need to do what works for them. And authors who don’t respond to comments and find they get less comments over time need to understand that more might be going on than just ‘no one comments people hate my writing.’ I have seen authors do the whole ‘comment culture is shitty no one comments on my stuff’ only to see that they *hardly ever respond to comments* - Like, you do you, but you have to own that, and own that there are reasonable responses from readers to that, too. Tl;dr Authors: You might start a conversation by offering a fic, but if you shut down conversation after that, don’t be surprised if people stop ‘talking’ to you). 

[stimtoybox]

Do you have any advice for someone who wants to start a stim/fidget toy review blog? I think it will give me a good outlet to talk about them instead of bothering my friends every time I get a new stimmy thing. I just don't know where to start. :(

I am flattered, anon, that you think we can offer advice on this point!

To be honest, I don’t think it’s that much different from starting any creative project, and these are all things folks should consider if they’re doing anything new. So ask yourself these questions, as they’ll guide you, I think, towards what you do next and how you do it.

I apologise for writing … well, an essay on blogging. It’s probably a great deal more than what you’ve asked for, but I’ve learnt a great deal in running this blog, and it all came flooding out on the page.

The main points, I think, I’ll summarise here before going into everything under the cut:

Know what it is you want to do and why you want to do it. It’s very hard to keep going with anything if you’re not sure why you’re doing it.

Hold close to your heart everything you think you can bring to your blog and reviews, because cherishing your own uniqueness keeps you going.

Practice self-care in determining what is possible for you and how much time you can devote to a blog. Look after yourself first. Your followers will wait even longer for responses if you have a mental breakdown.

Blog only if it makes you happy, because blogging is a lot of work!

Regular and consistent updates do result in regular followers and interactions, but the expectation that one updates regularly and consistently is based on ableist assumptions of ability, so you are allowed to be inconsistent.

Practice gratitude for the people who interact with you.

Don’t feel you ever have to take hate or abuse: you are allowed to use the block button.

Do not ever feel as though you need to know everything about your subject before blogging, because your followers like being able to help you.

If you’re comfortable sharing your blog with us, anon, when you have it ready to go, I’d love to see it. No such thing as too much stimmy information or too many stim blogs; we’re all part of a much greater (and fabulous) community working together to help and share information and discussion about a special interest/hyperfixation/passion. That’s a fabulously awesome thing, and I love all the connections with others - something I’m generally terrible at - I’ve made through this blog.

So, if you’re comfortable, come join us in our little network of stimmers, because we want you to be part of it!

What is it you want to do? What is it you don’t want to do?

Do you just want to post your own reviews? Do you want to post/reblog links to cool toys you’ve found? Do you just want to post/reblog photos of toy collections without reviews or listing information? Do you want to do a mix of toys and online stimming videos/GIFs/ASMR? Tutorials? For example, I don’t enjoy videos or GIFs, so I knew this blog would be about toys, and as I like making things, tutorials just happened naturally. Have a think about the kind of content you want to include and focus on that.

You can always widen your focus afterwards, but having a focus in the beginning helps give you direction, and direction is important.

(Additionally, as your blow grows, your followers might push your blog in all sorts of different directions!)

Why is it you want to do it?

Just wanting somewhere to put your thoughts is a good and valid reason! In the case of this blog, I wanted that, but I also wanted to discuss stim toys with a greater international focus. I know it seems odd now, but when I started this blog few stim toy bloggers were listing currencies, discussing shipping costs or providing image descriptions. There were few listings that weren’t focused on US webstores and absolutely nothing about Australian resources. I saw a gap in what was being covered by others, based on my own needs as a stimmer, and jumped right in.

Knowing why you want to do something helps tailor your approach: it gives you that little bit of uniqueness that separates your blog from other blogs. It erases that doubt that surfaces when you wonder why you’re doing this when everyone else is doing this already. There will be something you’re doing that the rest of us aren’t, and if you find that and hold onto it, it’s a lot easier to keep going.

What makes you happy?

What do you enjoy doing? Writing? Photography? Talking about little details? Making GIFs? Collecting listings of cool items you’ve seen online?

Find out what it is you think you’ll enjoy most and focus, at least in the beginning, on that. Happiness is incredibly motivating.

What lies within your ability?

Anon, take it from someone who repeatedly and reliably fails at this point: figure out what it is you can’t do in the matter of a stim blog and push it aside. You do not have to do everything on your blog. If there is something you genuinely cannot do, don’t do it. This is especially important for disabled bloggers, as we generally have limitations in what we can do and how much. Don’t be like me, trying to do everything because it’s good to do without any awareness of how much Trying To Do Everything is breaking me.

There’s a line between Things That Are Good To Do and Things I Can Actually Do, and you’ll be saner and happier (as someone who is regularly driving myself up the wall with my habit of overestimating my ability to function) if you stay on the “actually possible” side of the line.

Things to look at here include physical ability and time for working on this blog, both of which are super important to evaluate. Always underestimate your ability to do things - you’d rather have extra time and spoons than not enough of it!

I’ll acknowledge that regular, consistent updates are probably the biggest thing when it comes to growing a following, but for disabled people this is a very hard thing to do, and all the “how to blog” advice posts never mention this. The goal of consistency is deeply ableist. If you can do this, great. If you can’t? Don’t bother about it. Updating sporadically is better than being burnt out and not updating at all for six months because you’ve set yourself a punishing schedule your life and body won’t allow you to manage.

How are you going to do it?

You know what you want to say and why; the next step is how. How are you going to format your blog? Possible questions to consider include:

Do you want to write short or long reviews?

Do you want to include photos, videos, GIFs?

Do you want to casually talk about your purchases or aim to be a resource?

Do you want to tag everything as an archive? (This is so the thing where I have bitten off more than I can chew, ye gods.)

Do you want to make your content as accessible as you can?

Do you want to accept asks and user submissions?

Do you want to have a moderated/shared blog?

Do you want to be an informative resource versus just talking casually about your stim experiences?

Do you want your blog to be an informative resource versus a blend of stim posts and your own personal content?

Do you want to cultivate connections with other stim bloggers?

This step is thinking about the minutia of how you’re going to do whatever it is you want to do. In my case, it was deciding that this blog is a resource blog, that I’d focus on tags and archiving, that I want to put a lot of detail in my reviews and that I’d be as accessible as is possible for me.

By the way, while personal review blogs and broader resource blogs are different, one isn’t necessarily better than the other. General stim toy blogs that just post and reblog collection photos get a great following because people just want to enjoy the pretty and get to know the collator. They’re also much easier to run in terms of workload, especially for folks on mobile.

How are you going to approach the community?

This is where you think about who your audience is, who you wish to be following you and how you’re going to approach your interactions with others. Tumblr is a curious space in the sense that various flavours of activism often end up in spaces that aren’t really about activism, and that can be a tricky thing to deal with. I’m not always sure that I deal with it well, but I think at the end of the day that if you try to be true to who you are, that’s a good thing, even if others disagree with your approach.

(It’s okay if people do disagree. The number of stim blogs that exist means there’s a space for most of us.)

Things to consider include:

Who don’t you wish to follow? It is absolutely within your right as a blogger to dictate whom it is you wish to follow and interact with you, or what behaviours will result in blocking. My opinion is that it’s good to be polite about expressing it, though, especially if you’re asking blogs that feature behaviour that doesn’t cause harm to vulnerable populations to not follow you/not engage. You’re allowed to put your comfort first, but politeness is good.

Is your blog for a wider community or a section of it? Are you for anyone who stims, for disabled people who stim, ND people who stim or a targeted group like anxious stimmers or autistic stimmers?

How exclusive are you in your community building? Some blogs are completely inclusive, some blogs are largely inclusive, some are very exclusive. Stim blogs often end up being little communities of their own, so it pays to take some time to think about the kind of space you want to build.

Are you bringing other politics or modes of activism to this blog? It often pays to put this somewhere if you are or aren’t. I know that I’ve felt very uncomfortable when I’ve followed a blog only to discover a week later that the owner/mods are exclusionists. By the way, it is absolutely okay to not reveal your beliefs on any of these issues if you keep it entirely off the blog. It is also okay to be open about who you are and what you believe but not make the blog primarily about those beliefs. It is also okay to make the blog all about those beliefs.

How will you approach drama? For example, I have a block policy for hate messages: I block and never discuss the content on this blog, because I feel this is not the place to discuss people who feel the need to tell me how much they hate me for differing activism/identity approaches. I’ve got better things to do than to waste my spoons on that. Other bloggers respond to those messages and discuss them.

How will you keep your followers safe? You can do the AO3 approach of choosing not to tag - as long as you mention this on your blog description, this is entirely valid. You can tag. You can advise that there are certain things you can’t advise for and tag for the rest. You can say that this isn’t a space for discussing politics, activism or problematic content. You can say that you do discuss it. I’ve realised that I need to go back and make my approach to discussion content - that while we won’t discuss abuse or ableism or other awful things that happen to ND people in explicit detail, we won’t pretend they don’t exist or happen to us - more clear. (It’s part of the evolution from stim toy review blog to stim toy and ND blog, and I’m still playing catch-up in a lot of ways.)

I admit that my philosophy in general is to be as inclusive as possible whilst still centering stimming on ND and disabled people, and I personally will never have enough blogs to follow that do this. I am all for community building that is as accepting and non-judgemental as is possible. But this is not the only way to blog, and in the end, you do you, anon. There’s space in the world for people to have differing opinions, and the benefit of a blog is that one can make a community that suits one’s needs and philosophy.

I’ll also note that autistics and issues relating to autism (Autism $peaks, for example) have more of a presence in stim spaces, but if you are not autistic, you absolutely do not have to make your blog about autism. I believe there’s a real need for more allistic stimmers to make blogs that focus on the stimming needs of ADHD and/or anxious stimmers without autism discussions creeping in.

What do you need to do?

This step is for considering all the things you need to do to make the blog go from an idea to a thing.

Please note that this is often more professional in focus than many bloggers consider: I’m a writer, and so it’s habit for me to try and make even my non-writing blogs of a semi-professional standard.

If this feels way too much, pick and choose (remember: you don’t have to do everything).

The name of your blog. Do you have a name? Is it still available? Go and grab it now if so, even if you don’t make your blog for days, weeks or months. I sat on @stimtoybox​ for about three months before I finally made the blog.

The layout of your blog. There’s a lot of custom Tumblr designs out there, but, to be brutally honest, most of them are not user-friendly in terms of accessible and easy-to-read design. Pick a clean theme that’s easy to modify, as that will give non-Tumblr users access to your content. I know everyone thinks we only access blogs via dashboard these days, but if you get big enough, some of your anons may not be registered Tumblr users, and giving them access to your blog via an easy-to-read webpage layout matters a lot.

The avatar/icon and headers of your blog. Many layouts let you custom design these, and this helps give you a little individuality (especially on your webpage layout). You can get lots of royalty-free graphics on sites like Pixabay with no attribution required (although it’s a decent thing to put said attribution on a page). Additionally, your own photos of stim toys work great for this. Having icons and headers that are unique to you is well worth the time it takes to create them.

Bio and blog description. You don’t want an essay for this, but a little information about what you’re doing and why is great.

HTML. If you can add a few HTML links to said blog description, including links to everything people can’t access on mobile (about page, BYF page, submissions info) you’ve made your blog that much easier to use. I am more than happy to write a tutorial on the code I use here on Tumblr if anyone wants it.

Links to your other internet presences. Don’t be ashamed about doing this. You’re providing content, which is a lot of work, so it’s absolutely fair to use it as a way to direct people towards your other work (personal blog, art, writing, whatever).

Before You Follow and Submission information. If you’re allowing asks and submissions, tell people want you want - make a page for this information. (Unfortunately, you’re still going to get people who don’t read before submitting - I’ve had a few submissions that are just GIF images with no informative content, for example, even though we’re a resource blog.) It really does help, though. Likewise with the BYF, if you have folks you’d rather not follow for whatever reason.

Lastly,

You don’t have to know everything about your subject matter. If you don’t know and can’t find it out, admit it. Ask people for their input, because folks genuinely like helping each other out. They like participating; they like offering up information. The majority of your followers are going to be pretty awesome people, and they’re going to want to help, if they can. We have this massive passion in common, and we’re all here, following each other, helping each other, because we like learning and sharing.

In my opinion, there’s also a lot to be gained by being thankful and expressing gratitude to followers’ interactions. (It maybe sounds manipulative put that way, but expressing everything as a social rule makes it sound manipulative, to be honest, and for me everything is a social rule, something I’ve learnt the hard way, not a natural understanding.) Thank you is a pretty powerful word; being grateful is a pretty powerful thing. If there is anything I’ve learnt from this blog, it is that being and expressing gratitude has brought me an awful lot of good will, patience and acceptance, even when I’m absent, screwing up, making mistakes, in too much pain to be helpful or tolerant, being far too emotional or just being too overwhelmed by a blog and inbox that’s gotten bigger than I can often manage.

Be grateful for those who interact with you. You don’t have to accept hate (that gets the block button) but being grateful helps so much.

Good luck, anon. I’m pretty sure this is many more words than what you’re after, and I hope it isn’t too overwhelming for you. We’re all very much looking forward to your unique reviews and insights on stim toys!

- Mod K.A.

[littlestarofthewest]

Hi, I love your fics and wanted to know if you have some tips for someone who wants to start writing? English is not my main language and I don't know if it's worth writting on my first language and then translate/adapt to english...

Hey anon, sorry this took me so long to answer, but I just wanted to do a somewhat decent job with it. Also, thank you. I'm really honored that you consider me to be someone who can actually give valid advice. I put this under a read more because it got super long (I’m sorry if that’s not at all what you were looking for).

Important side note: While I use phrases like "this is better," everything below is my personal opinion and not some sort of universal truth. I'm not criticizing any writers. I'm sure they know what they're doing, and we're all just looking for ways to put out the best works we can.

A lot of writers use things in their stories that I try my hardest to avoid, and they still have lots of happy readers. It comes down to personal preference, and all I'm offering here are a few ideas for you to consider.

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Let's start with the language issue. When I started writing fanfic I thought about the same thing. I think you have to consider 3 things:

1. Do I have the time / am I willing to translate everything?I'm usually so excited about finishing a story that I want to post it right away. You won't be able to do that if you need to translate it first. Also, writing itself can already be exhausting, and you're going to have to do the same work twice with each story.

2. Is my native language interesting for others?I'm German, and since the majority of the German people I'm in fandoms with speak English, there's no need to post anything in German. If the source material is English, they will consume English fics.

If you know your language to be interesting for other people, it would make more sense to post both languages to reach a bigger audience.

3. How close is my native language to English?Again, I can give you the example of German. The two languages are very different when it comes to sentence structure and how to phrase things. So, if I were to write in German first, a translation would be quite tricky. I'd probably end up "rewriting" the story rather than translating it word for word because the English wouldn't sound so good.

In conclusion: I know it's tempting to write in your own language because it seems more natural but unless you have good reason to do it that way (as mentioned above), I'd probably try to write in English right away. That's what I ended up doing. If you want to find the best way for you, try it both ways and see what works best.

Judging from your ask, I'd say you have enough knowledge of the language to write in English, and while it might suck a little in the beginning, it gets a lot easier over time.

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GENERAL ADVICE

1. Write! Practice is key. Talent might be a thing, but what makes you better at something is actually doing it. You don't have to publish everything, but the fact that you wrote it will help you to get better. I cringe whenever I look at things that I wrote 6 years ago, but it's also great to see how much better I am now compared to then. If you keep at it, you'll definitely see that change at some point.

2. Don't get discouraged if there's no significant response. Even for amazing writers, it takes time to get some traction. Especially on tumblr it's tough to be seen. There are also a ton of reasons why people might not interact, like forgetfulness, blog aesthetic, laziness, shyness, etc. That doesn't mean they don't enjoy your work. I hate to say "write for yourself," but that's the mindset you need. It should be still fun for yourself, even if you don't get a lot of feedback.

3. Have a healthy attitude towards your work.It's absolutely okay to love your own stuff, and if you enjoy it, feel free to show it. Still accept if not everybody else likes it, though.

BUT… don't hate on your work. A lot of writers are a little unsure about themselves, and that's okay, but if you say things like "this is garbage" about your own fics, you shouldn't be surprised if people don't read it. Why would they, if even you don't like it? So, don't put yourself down. Putting words on paper out of nothing is hard work, and every fic is worth at least the time and effort you put into it.

4. Read! My English improved a great deal just by reading. You'll pick up vocabulary and ways of phrasing things without even trying too hard. Read with variety. Fanfic is great, and it's a good idea to see what's out there, but fic writers are still a certain kind of writer. Mix it up with published books (even if it's hard to find LGBTQ+ content), preferably with different genres you're interested in.

5. Mingle. It's hard to put yourself out there, but don't be shy to promote yourself a little. If you feel like doing that, offer to take requests. Check out other writers. One great way to find readers is actually to interact with other writers. We can all need the support, and you might end up picking up some good advice.

Be respectful, though. I've seen people leave comments just to go like, "Hey, you wanna read my stuff, too?" Not nice. If you interact in a friendly manner, there's a good chance they'll check you out anyway. No need to pressure them.

6. Make an effort. I learned that one early on, when someone commented on one of my first fics that they "almost didn't read it because of the way it was formatted." It kinda sucks when you finally have something to post and then need to "waste time" with that stuff, but it's just as important as the story itself.

You don't have editors who will fix every little thing but try to do the basics yourself.- correct your punctuation- try avoiding walls of text- make enough paragraphs (when different people speak etc.)- check for major spelling errors

7. Consider advice / ignore haters. When someone gives you advice (if you asked for it or not), consider it. It's not smart to reject it right away, but you also don't have to do what others tell you. Pick out what works best for you. If someone's rude, kick them out of your life and don't waste a second on them. It's not on you to teach them to be polite.

8. Be mindful of your readers. It's their job to construct a safe atmosphere for themselves online, but you can do a great deal to help them. If you post on AO3, tag your stuff!! I hate to give away spoilers, but a lot of readers will feel better reading your stuff if they know that you look out for them.

On tumblr, use the right tags. Don't tag every character and ship in the universe. People will hate you (for a good reason). Go with what's actually in your story. Mentioning the basics in your post might be an option, too. (I give a quick overview on top of each story, but many writers don't. That's personal preference.)

And due to recent events, a plea from myself. Please consider all genders, sexualities etc. when you post. Tag your male/gn/female/trans reader inserts, tag your ships, tag major triggers, etc. You can't know every dislike of every person, but you have a bit of responsibility here, so please make an effort.

9. Write first - edit later. I'm shitty at this myself, but it's still great advice. A good way to avoid writer's block is just to put down the words, no matter what. It sounds like garbage? It doesn't matter. Did you use the same verb three times in one paragraph? Fix it later. No idea how that sentence should go? Add [character is doing some great action move to defeat the villain] and move on. Fill it in later.

Neil Gaiman said: "There is no first draft worse than a blank page."

You can always change and fix what's already there, but you can't work with nothing.

10. Take writing breaks. You don't have to crap out 2k of words a day to be a writer. In fact, letting your mind rest can be a great way to gain motivation and inspiration. Do something you love and don't hate yourself if the words don't come right away. They'll be back.

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SPECIFIC WRITING ADVICE

There's one golden rule: You want your readers to be so enthralled by the story that they forget that they're reading it.

These are some things that I picked up and still look out for to get exactly that effect. If you do that or not is totally up to you, though.

1. Use paragraphs when another person speaks. Although pretty much every advice blog tells you this, I still see stories that don't do that, and it's super confusing for readers.

NO:Arthur stands up and comes your way. "Are you sure?" You put your arms around him and nod. "Of course."

YES:Arthur stands up and comes your way.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

You put your arms around him and nod. "Of course."

There are a few ways to do this, but the important part is that your readers know who's talking at all times. The second they have to ask and maybe reread to find who says what, they're thrown out of the story.

2. Don't be afraid of "said" and "asked." I know there are these great lists of other words, but there are a time and place. Imagine yourself in conversation. Do you switch between sighing, whispering, growling and shouting with each sentence? Most of the time, people just say things. Use said and pepper in other words when it matters. Also, people tend to read over said. When you switch each sentence, they'll notice which breaks the golden rule.

3. Read out loud. If a sentence is weird, that might help you distinguish what doesn't work. If you notice a point that makes you reread or pause for a moment, chances are your reader will too.

This is also a great way to find weird dialogue. Actually speak the words, and you might notice that nobody talks that way. It's also great to find "the voice" of a character. Read it in their voice and dialect (nobody has to know if you suck at it), and you'll see if that's something they would actually say.

4. Only use epithets if they are absolutely necessary or convey an important fact!!! (This one is a real pet peeve for me because it's so dominant in fic)

NO:The Blonde leaned over, holding out his hand. You shook it, and were taken aback by the older man's shining blue eyes. The cowboy had a voice that made your skin prickle when he finally talked to you.

This is bad for a few reasons:a) You have to come up with all those epithets and oftentimes, they're not very good. b) It can be confusing because it might seem as if you're talking about more than one person. c) Your readers will focus on each new epithet, which breaks the golden rule.

It can be great to introduce a character as the tall, handsome stranger, but as soon as you know how they're called (and you should try to get there fast), for the love of God, use the name. It might sound repetitive to you since you're the one writing it, but readers usually read over names.

If you have to use a workaround, stick to one. The same person is always "the stranger," the next one is "the loudmouth," etc. That way, you can have multiple unknown characters without confusing your readers.

The only!! other reason to use an epithet is to emphasize a particular fact.

YES:"It hurt Arthur to leave John behind, but he wants his brother to be safe."

You could just write "he wants him to be safe," but in this case, "his brother" isn't only a replacement but is supposed to show that Arthur thinks of John as a brother and not just a friend. It actually means something and might even convey information your reader didn't have up until this point. It works well in dialogue, too.

"I need to go with them," you tell Karen, "and try my best to keep tall, dark, and handsome out of trouble."

Karen looks over to John and rolls her eyes. "Good luck."

Of course, the reader character knows John's name, but using the epithet here gives a little insight into how they think about John and that they're comfortable sharing that information with Karen.

5. Check your punctuation. Nobody's gonna kill you if you forget a comma, but try to get it right as well as you can, especially with dialogue. Those are a few rules that aren't hard to understand, and it's especially important if your native language does them differently.

English:"Would you just shut up," says Arthur, giving Micah a mean stare. "One more word, and I'll have to shoot you."

German:"Würdest du mal die Klappe halten", sagt Arthur mit einem bösen Blick zu Micah. "Noch ein Wort und ich werde dich erschießen müssen."

In German, you put the comma after " while you put it inside " " in English. It's a subtle difference, but it threw me a lot when I started writing in English. And if I notice, then readers might notice which again breaks the golden rule.

Besides, we're trying to make some effort, right? Let your story look pretty and professional. You can google a lot of useful guides about comma rules, dashes, and correct punctuation in dialogue.

6. Passive voice can be avoided. Or better said, avoid passive voice. I'm not saying, don't use it at all, since some very common phrases use passive voice, but try not to overdo it.

In most cases, there's always a better way to phrase a sentence, and active voice usually has more dynamic and drives your story in a way that passive voice can't.

7. Adverbs. Most writing advice blogs will tell you to avoid them like the plague. When I first started writing, I was a little on the fence with that advice, but by now, I agree with all my heart. Again, not saying that you can't have a single adverb in your story, but on many occasions, there's a better alternative.

NO:With his heart beating rapidly, Arthur moves quickly around the wagon, pulling out his gun. He fires back, shouting angrily at his attackers, "You gonna pay for this!"

YES:With his heart almost beating out of his chest, Arthur darts around the wagon, pulling out his gun. He fires back at his attackers, his anger sounding like a lion's roar in his voice. "You gonna pay for this!"

I'm not saying that version B is THE best way to write this, but I dare say it's way better than version A. Maybe that's because I'm not a native speaker, but it hurts my head if I have to read 3 words ending in -ly in one tiny paragraph.

A lot of writers very much abuse adverbs in their dialogue tags, which can make things repetitive and takes away the opportunity to put better information there. BUT, there's definitely a time and place for adverbs.

"He speaks quietly to her" is NOT the same as "he whispers to her," and that's the hill I'm going to die on.

8. Strong verbs. I suck at this myself, but this is where you should actually look for long lists of "other words for." This might be especially helpful when you have the above mentioned adverb problem (e.g., dashes, darts > goes quickly).

Still, don't overdo it. You might find words that sound fancy, but chances are that even native speakers might have no idea what you're saying.

9. Past or present tenseWhen writing in German, I often used past tense, but somehow I'm more comfortable with present tense in English.

From what I gathered over the years, most fic readers don't care either way; the only important thing is: pick one, stick to it! It's a widespread mistake a lot of writers make that they somehow switch tenses while writing. It happened to me a lot in the beginning and still does to this day. So be warned ;D

10. What POV should I use?

Again, google is your friend. There are a few different POVs you can use, some of them are very common in fic while others seem to be less popular (like 1st person as in "I do this, I do that"). There are 3 rules that I find important.

a) Don't switch inside of the story. Decide which one you want and stick to it. It's very confusing to switch at some point.

b) After you picked one, look out for the traps. If you write from one character's POV, they can't know things unless somebody tells them about it or they were present for the event. It's easy to suddenly have a character know something because YOU know it. Make sure it makes sense within the story.

c) Don't switch mid-sentence or mid-paragraph. I've seen this a lot lately in reader fics. You have 2k of story from the reader's POV, and then when they interact with the character, the author suddenly ventures into the feelings and inner thoughts of the character. That's confusing, especially if it happens without any marker or break in the text.

Don't switch just because it's convenient. If you want to give them both a voice, do it from the start. And if you do, switch where it makes sense, e.g. every other chapter, in the middle of the chapter with a visible break, etc.

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That's all I can think of for now. I hope it helps you in any way, and feel free to talk about it with me whenever you want. I can ALWAYS talk about writing.

Good fortune with your writing!!!