#i HATE 'hydra' Wanda fanfics much...SHE DOES NOT WANT TO BE THERE‚ SHE DOES NOT CARE AT ANY OF THE NAZIS IN THAT ORGANIZATION

[this-is-chaos-magick]

if you can change any part of Wanda's story in the mcu,,,,,what would it be?

mmmm.... Probably the hydra part, the whole wanda–hydra discourse, has done nothing but put me in so much distress.... 😐😐😐😐 Wanda did not know it was hydra it's literally implied that they were using s.h.i.e.l.d as disguise,...also she joined them because she wants to help her county and take revenge on...Tony stark not because she agrees with their bullshit..... It's freaking sad actually she thought she's joining an organization that is going to help her and her country... but they were used... just imagine how Wanda felt when she gets used to her mind reading abilities for the first time...and she realizes that they were nothing more than an experiment and were going to be use as 'weapons', In AoU when the avengers attack the hydra base, the twins literally used that opportunity to escape the organization.

people always put Ultron, Thanos, Hayward and Thaddeus Ross in list of Wanda's most hated man, but we need to put baron strucker up in the list too....I know she hates that man for making a fool out of her and her brother, using their trauma and anger so he can use them....also I know they were 'test' for their powers just imagine what the twins went through during those testings....

I have a headcanon that both Wanda and Pietro develop trypanophobia (intense fear of needles) because of hydra scientist constantly taking their blood and injecting with whatever chemical for testing.....

[midethefangirl]

Captain America: Civil War - My Thoughts

I know this is like 5 years late but for this, I’d like to resurrect a barely dead discourse that succeeded in not just dividing the Avengers but also dividing the fandom. Before we start, content warning for spoilers and let’s dive into this mess.

So, basically, the entire conflict of civil war stemmed from General Thaddeus Ross (who is a hypocritical dick, btw) coming to lecture the Avengers on being destructive despite conducting destructive experiments (ahem, the Abomination and the Hulk) but I digress. Then, Ross presents the Sokovian Accords which is really lengthy and we see Steve reading like a few chapters(?). Now, let us note that the Accords were presented to the Avengers after a mission-gone-wrong killed about 11 people in Lagos (lay-gos, not lah-gos that pronunciation gave me headaches as a Nigerian).

So, the Sokovian Accords were written by 117 countries and vetted by the UN asking for the Avengers to be under oversight (which SHIELD would have done if HYDRA hadn’t infiltrated it in the first place but it is what it is). Somehow, Steve made it about “our right to choose” (how?! Cause I’m not understanding) and decided to not sign*.

*he later got back to sign, then backed out when he learnt that Tony had placed Wanda under house arrest (even though it was for her protection. I do believe Tony should have fully informed Wanda about keeping her in the Avengers’ Tower)

My issues with the plot of Civil War are:

1. The Sokovian Accords were not read out loud or placed on some kind of PowerPoint slide for the audience to understand why Team Cap is against the Accords. No, the fandom wiki is not a source because that one is from Agents of SHIELD and not a lot of MCU fans are familiar with that show (yours sincerely included). Assuming the contents were read out loud or discussed by the Avengers, I’d have understood why Team Cap refused to sign the accords but since none of that was given, I’d remain Team Iron Man for this one.

2. The Sokovian Accords is not the American Constitution. Then again, the MCU fandom tends to be American-centric and most Americans seem to have this belief that the world revolves around them (and it manifests itself in Civil War discourse).

3. Contrary to popular opinion, the Sokovian Accords were about 117 (mostly third-world) countries asserting their sovereignty and boundaries, not taking away rights from the Avengers. If we go by what the MCU wiki claims about the accords, yes, some parts are absurd (like asking for blood samples and using trackers, why are those necessary?). However, when 117 countries state that they want you to respect their boundaries, I think it is best to comply. Unfortunately, respecting boundaries is one thing the USA has a problem complying with and guess who happens to represent America?

4. The Accords affected only their hero lives, not their lives as a civilian. I doubt the UN would limit the Avengers’ movements as civilians

5. Let us not forget how Steve and Clint protect Wanda from accountability and responsibility. Wanda in the MCU is like y/n in many fanfics where everyone (except for the “big bad villain” who in this case is Tony and 117 countries) seems to love her and want to protect her from facing the consequences of her actions. Anyone *ahem Tony* who has a bit of problem with her is suddenly the enemy. Not to mention how Wanda seems to have a knack for causing destruction in African countries (Johannesburg, Lagos, Wakanda)

6. And fandom behaviour from the Team Cap stans

7. Also, why is Civil War not an Avengers part 3? It’s better than making it a Captain America trilogy and then trying to frame Steve as being right.

8. I do believe that the accords were sped up which left little time for the Avengers to discuss and compromise on certain issues. If they were given more time to discuss, compromise and negotiate, I think the movie would have ended better than it had.

9. In addition, I also agree with Team Cap stans on how the UN arbitrarily deciding to shoot Bucky on sight is a human right violation.

10. “The safest hands are our own” why does this sound like a white saviour talk point from Steve? The accords is about 117 countries wanting you to respect their boundaries and the best you can come up with to refute that is saying something a white saviour would say?

11. “Even if the whole world is telling you to move...” just shut the fuck up, this is no way comparable to 117 countries trying to assert their sovereignty.

12. Look if I have to choose between surrendering a few rights as a hero and just dismissing that of civilians as potential damage, I’d go with the former because the people whom I’m suppose to protect come first. For me to dismiss their deaths as “we can’t save em all” is just not it.

13. “She’s just a kid”, a few years later and I still hate that term. One, it’s infantilizing an adult white woman (something white men have historically done and we all know how that went) . Two, while Tony was obviously wrong for not informing Wanda about her house arrest, he was right to keep her in the Tower when they were people who would harm her with every chance they could find. **

** after watching WandaVision, some people might find every reason to want to harm her.

14. Let us also discuss the motivation of those in Team Iron Man vs Team Cap

Team Iron Man

Tony: feels guilty for the events of Age of Ultron, believes that he’s stepped out of line and the Avengers need oversight.

Natasha: believes that the Avengers should listen to the public and the UN after all, if they had one hand on the wheel, they can still steer.

Vision: believes that the Avengers as a whole bring challenge which brings conflict and then catastrophe.

Rhodey: a soldier; believes in following orders especially when it is from the UN and 117 countries.

T’Challa: dude is just there to kill Bucky. I’m sure if Bucky was on team Ironman, my guy would have joined team cap, lmao 😂.

Spider-Man: not really there for a reason except to bring in Steve to Ross. I do agree that Tony shouldn’t have dragged him to the fight without Peter making an informed decision.

Team Cap

Steve: didn’t want to sign because it takes away his “right to choose”. Idk what that means or how it is relevant to the Sokovian Accords but okay. However, I understand his mistrust considering a few movies ago, we found out HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and as much as I believe governments are corrupt and the UN is shit, you cannot just enter a country anyhow without warning ahead of time.

Bucky: was his motivation given? I mean, I believe he joined Steve’s side to stop Zeno from unleashing the other winter soldiers. Not that that’s a bad reason, it isn’t.

Sam: again, I don’t think the movie gave us a reason for him being against the Accords. Did he also believe it was taking away his “right to choose”?

Wanda: undecided as of moment of discussion. Joined team cap because Tony placed her on house arrest. While I agree that Tony should have informed her that he was putting her under house arrest and stated the reasons why, I believe it was for good reasons especially when some people might decide to carry out witch hunts (you get it, witch hunts? 😅)

Clint: only joined because Wanda was placed under house arrest. We aren’t given any reason why he would oppose the Accords.

Scott: fan boy of Captain America, need I say more?

15. Also, to Team Cap stans blaming Tony Stark for Team Cap being imprisoned, grow the fuck up. The people in Team Cap are all adults who made their own decisions yet Tony is to blame for them breaking the law (because they did break the law), wtf.

16. “Are you capable of letting go of your ego for one damn second?” Like Steve’s ego didn’t play a part in all this too, lmao.

17. Okay, the final battle was intense and while I believe Bucky was also a victim, I can understand why Tony lashed out at him. The one to blame here is Steve because even if he had no clue Bucky was responsible for the Starks’ death, he still lied to Tony by not telling him who was responsible. It is more appalling to learn that Steve, in an attempt to “protect Tony and Bucky”, was actually covering for HYDRA!

Also, the way Steve stood emotionless while Tony watched a footage of his parents being killed. Yet, he could shield Wanda from watching the news because of how it affected her, okay.

“I can do this all day”, fuck you, Steve

18. Clint exploding at Tony is so fucking hilarious. Tony is right, Clint has a family yet he decided to fight in a war that didn’t concern him. Also, his comments about breaking backs is so tone deaf after Rhodey just broke his back!

19. If Sam was Captain America, I think Civil War wouldn’t have happened at all, from the dialogue in the Raft.

20. Overall, this movie is a fucking mess and I hate it for dividing both the Avengers and MCU fans.

Before I close with this, I want to add that I am not anti-Steve but Civil War really made me hate him. I get, Steve is supposed to be a Boy Scout and shit like that, but he’s a Gary Stu in the MCU, let’s be honest about it. Civil War should have been an Avengers movie, rather than a part of the Captain America trilogy. The Avengers should have been given more time than three days to discuss the Accords and make necessary amendments; after all that went down in Lagos, Wanda should have been made to sit out missions and maybe we could have had someone like Doctor Strange help in training her; Crossbones would have made a great villain but it is what it is; Peter’s introduction to the MCU could have been as him actually interning for the Stark Industries and forming a kind of acquaintance with Tony Stark before Tony finds out that he’s Spider-Man; Steve should have told Tony about HYDRA‘s hands in his parents’ deaths. Anyway, I’ll go read Civil War fix-it fanfics and fanfics where the Avengers are more like family. Fuck Civil War and I’m outta here.

Edit: okay this was a thought I had when I was trying to sleep but it was too good to ignore. Rhodey has a point about Steve arrogance (if that’s the correct term) in saying “the safest hands are our own” and here’s why:

Like he stated “this is not the World Security Council...neither is this SHIELD nor HYDRA” (paraphrased). This is the UN as well as 117 countries. Look, I am as anti-government as one can go and I don’t believe that the UN are reliable (plus, if we really want to go by the AoS version of the Accords, the Accords are flawed and they need amendments), however, given the US records on disrespecting boundaries in many third world countries, I can understand why 117 countries are wary about a bunch of superpowered Americans entering their country.

To us, the Avengers are saving the world. To these 117 countries and the people who have families who were killed in the crossfire (Zemo is a good example), the Avengers are a bunch of nuisances who leave destruction wherever they tread.

I am still neutral on the whole Accords as I don’t know exactly what it entails but for Steve to go “we are surrendering our rights to choose” (again, how is the Accords threatening the Avengers’ right to choose?) when asked to be under oversight is tone deaf.

[meggtheegg]

Bucky

bucky my beloved 🥺

favorite thing about them

honestly, just how truly good he is. there's a lot of talk about the incorruptible pure pureness that is steve rogers, but bucky has been dealt the shittiest hand, like honestly he's endured several supervillains worth of origin stories and yet, he doesn't for a moment consider going in that direction. you could say he chooses to be good in spite of it all, but i don't think it's even a choice, because he doesn't consider anything else to be an option. it's just who he is, and it's something that, in order to temporarily change, hydra had to take him and his free will out of the equation, entirely, and even then, he managed to break free and fight back. he always rolls with the punches and then gets up and keeps going, and i feel like that part of his characterization is often overlooked between all the angst/tragedy and the shadows of steve and sam, who just happen to be two of the most overtly good characters in the mcu, if not in modern media. but there's a reason that both of them end up with bucky as their best friend. the guy may have gotten grumpy in his old age, but that core goodness is still there, and it's very telling that all of the villains in tfatws jump directly to appealing to that goodness, rather than the seemingly obvious (to an outsider) decision to use his past against him. (i know karli references it, but when it comes to direct action, her instinct is to "give him someone to rescue")

least favorite thing about them

this is less about him as a character and more about the way he's used, but i feel like the movies, especially since civil war, have used him almost entirely as motivation for steve, rather than a character in his own right. even after tfatws, it feels like there is so much that's gone unexplored, even though his story is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting in the entire mcu. tfatws was, ultimately, sam's story, and i wouldn't want that any other way, but i'm still waiting for something to give us character development and a plotline for bucky that doesn't happen 1: offscreen or 2: in the shadow of another character's arc.

favorite line

it would be very easy to go with either "who the hell is bucky?" or "i'm with you to the end of the line, pal," but those are very predictable, so probably:

Sam: Why didn’t you use the metal arm? Bucky: Well… I don’t always think of it immediately. I’m...right-handed...

i know it's a really simple line that doesn't carry a ton of weight, but it perfectly encapsulates who bucky is. his existence as an enhanced super-soldier isn't really at the front of his mind, because he didn't choose to be that way. when he's allowed to just relax and exist, he does so as a normal guy, and he still jumps to using his dominant hand when it comes to fixing the boat, because of course he does

brOTP

i would honestly love to see him building a friendship/sibling-relationship with wanda. i could just see them so easily sliding into those roles, him stepping in for the brother she lost and her taking the place of the sisters that lived and died while he was hydra's prisoner. both of them have been through so much trauma, both of them have relied on steve to deal with that trauma, at some point or another, and both are grappling with how much of themselves they still are, in the wake of gaining powers they didn't necessarily ask for similarly, marvel, please let this man become a mentor to peter parker instead of dr. strange. peter needs someone who can relate to him, not just another tony stark, and who better than another naïve kid from new york who got dragged into a fight way bigger than himself and is now dealing with overwhelming, crushing guilt and responsibility that he's too good to neglect but that he never asked for, in a world where most superheroes had the privilege of choosing to become that way??? like honestly it's such an obvious match, and with bucky's history with tony and howard, he could give peter some much-needed insight, while peter could give him equally-needed closure.

OTP

never did i expect to want sambucky to be a thing, but i desperately want it to be a thing. it just feels right?? like he fits so naturally into the wilson family, and while i'd be happy to see him with sarah, he and sam have such natural chemistry and pairing two natural caretakers together would mean lots of support for two characters who desperately need it. also, he just...looks at sam with such love in his eyes that my mom thought they were going to become a couple, and she is very much in the "two men should be allowed to just be friends" camp.

nOTP

bucky/tony. hate it. hate it so much. burn it with fire. these men do not like each other and their one meaningful interaction has been one repeatedly trying to...blast the other's head off. it's a nope from me.

random headcanon

honestly this is borderline canon, but this man is a nerd. he is a geek. a dork, if you will. he spent his childhood with his nose in a book, and would have gone to college (and a good one, too) to study some difficult subject and make a name for himself in some intellectual field, if steve's mom hadn't passed away that year. he was stuck with the opposite of steve's problem; rather than wanting to fight and physically being unable to, bucky was in peak physical condition and therefore expected to be tough and aggressive, when he'd much rather just use his head to get out of tough situations

unpopular opinion

while stucky sort of plays out like a grand romance and some of the fanfics are basically masterpieces, i'm really glad it didn't go canon and am honestly,,,,kind of glad for bucky's sake that steve is out of the picture??? bc as much as i love him, their relationship, especially towards the end, had a pretty serious power imbalance that was never really addressed. bucky would have let himself disappear in order to do whatever steve needed him to, basing his entire self-image and level of self-worth on steve's feelings about him. he and sam (whether their relationship is platonic or romantic) are much more like equals, and honestly more like pre-war bucky and steve, willing to poke fun at each other and have disagreements, because they deeply respect each other as full people, not idealized versions of someone who doesn't exist anymore. meanwhile, post ws bucky and steve often ranged anywhere from a hero/sidekick dynamic to a hero/damsel-in-distress one, and neither are particularly healthy for very long, no matter how much they love each other.

song i associate with them

known and loved - blue light bandits, joel ansett

favorite picture of them

nothing beats Cool Uncle BuckyTM

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 10

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  2184

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 10

We all dressed and I said goodbye to James I reassured him with my mind he was safe and with people who would protect him as Fury took him from me. It felt like my heart was being torn out.

We flew to Korea. Natasha and Clint taking turns flying the jet while the rest of us waited. Even with the speed of the Quinn Jet, it was going to be five hours before we got there. I dozed in Steve’s arms, trying to block out the thoughts he had of me dying in the upcoming fight.

As we approached Korea he woke me up and spoke to me. He wasn’t my boyfriend Steve anymore. He was Captain America, my unit leader. I hated it. It made me think of Hydra. I didn’t want thoughts of Steve to be anywhere near thoughts of my time in Hydra.

“During the battle, you will stay here in the Jet with Clint. You will not leave for any reason other than the jet is incapacitated and you’re directly under attack. You will scan the crowd, find the cradle. You will do your best to take out the female, Wanda. If you can’t you will either protect our minds from her, or you will take out the mind of the male, Pietro. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I said. It came out shaky.

“Please stay safe, Daisy. I love you.” He said, softer this time. Not Captain America, but Steve Rogers my boyfriend.

“You stay safe too,” I said.

He kissed me, and we all waited in silence until we arrived in Korea.

We dropped Steve off at Helen Cho’s medical facility and he went inside to find Ultron. We waited in dead silence for his command.

I scanned the city, looking for people who were seeing things that might lead to Ultron. Trying to pinpoint the twins.

There was talking happening. Clint and Natasha talking with Steve. It was like it was static. All I cared about was the twins.

As I scanned I felt a weird alien mind from just below. I probed it and saw the destruction. The whole human race annihilated. It felt like the stone too. Calling me. Telling me to take it for myself and I could stop all of this.

“Ultron is directly below us,” I said. Even my own voice sounded far away to me. When Clint spoke to Steve it might as well have happened on another planet for all the notice I took.

I was pulled towards something stronger. I scanned everyone, each person one at a time but so quickly it was like data being passed through the Internet.

Our minds locked. She fought me. She was strong. I was stronger.

GET OUT OF ME! Her mind shrieked.

I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU HURT MY FRIENDS. TIME FOR YOU TO SLEEP. I shot back.

YOUR FRIENDS?

THE AVENGERS. WE WILL STOP YOU AND ULTRON.

WE AREN’T WITH ULTRON ANYMORE. She cried out. Her thoughts were terrified. I scanned them. She had seen the destruction too. She wanted no part of it.

YOU HELPED HIM. NOW HELP US STOP HIM. I pushed.

There was turmoil in her mind. She didn’t know what to do. I pushed again. I knew I couldn’t force her to change her mind. She’s too powerful and she felt like that fucking stone. Still, I convinced her, mostly because she knew it was the right thing to do. I released her and collapsed back against my chair. I wiped my nose and my hand came back bloody. I needed to get something from the medkit but I was too tired and Clint was flying erratically. We were under attack. Somewhere along the line, Natasha left the jet.

I pinched my nose and tilted my head back. “Tell the others the twins are on our side,” I said.

“How can you know that?” Clint asked.

“Clint. Seriously?” I snapped. He passed the information on, and I closed my eyes. I felt weak. This was too much for me, and in the end, I wasn’t really even needed.

“The package is airborne. I have a clean shot.” Clint said.

“Negative. I am still in the truck.” Natasha shot back over comms.

“What are you doing …”

“Just be ready, I’m sending the package to you,” Natasha said, interrupting Clint.

“How do you want me to take it?” Clint asked.

“Eh, you might wish you hadn’t asked that,” Natasha replied.

Clint glanced back at me. “You still buckled in, D?” He asked.

“Yes. Try not to kill me.” I said.

Clint laughed. “I’m not making any promises.”

Steve’s voice crackled over the comms. “I lost him. He’s headed your way.”

“Nat, we gotta go,” Clint said.

The back of the Quinn Jet opened up and I saw Natasha come flying out of the back of the truck, riding the cradle. Just as it landed in the back of the Jet, Ultron appeared out of nowhere, grabbing Nat’s leg and dragging her away.

“Nat!” Clint and I yelled almost in unison.

“What happened?” Clint asked.

I jumped to my feet and staggered to the open cargo bay searching the sky. “Ultron took her,” I yelled back.

“Can you find her?” Clint asked.

I started securing the ark in place so it wouldn’t fly back out of the jet.

“Cap, have you seen Nat?” Clint said over comms. He was panicking. Not that I blamed him.

“If you have the package get it to Stark now.” Steve barked back.

“Do you have eyes on Nat?” Clint asked again.

“Go!” Steve yelled.

I sat back down, and Clint closed the hangar door.

“I’ll scan for her, Clint. I’ll scan for her.” I said buckling myself back in.

I saw him nod. His jaw set. I closed my eyes and scanned.

When we made it back to Avengers Tower Bruce was waiting for me with James. Nick had left him in Bruce’s care so he’d be there when I got back. I took him hugging him close to me and I left them to whatever shit they were going to do. I needed to not be near that stone.

I had felt Natasha, but she was unconscious, so I couldn’t quite pinpoint her. I told Clint she was alive. He didn’t take it as reassuring.

I lay down on my bed and curled myself around James. He placed his tiny little fingers on my face. Not really meaning too, just waving them around in that out of control way babies do when they don’t realize they have hands. When they touched me, calmness passed between us. He was happy I was back. I was happy to be with him. We fell asleep.

When I awoke it felt like I was being overwhelmed by the thoughts of the stone. I got up and sent my mind out. Steve was back. He had the twins with him. He was angry. I scrambled out of bed, picking up James who fussed at being disturbed. It felt like the elevator was going too slow. I was just off the floor with the lab, when there was an almighty crack. The elevator shuddered and came to a stop halfway between floors. I heard an explosion and I sent out a call for help with my mind. James started crying.

I tried budging the doors to the elevator open. Someone pulled them open from the other side and a purple hand was offered to me. I took it and when I did this new … person … and I spoke. Spoke isn’t quite the word. We exchanged ideas. He was good. Safe. He was the missing piece in all of this.

When he helped me out of the lift he floated back to the others, and I went and stood next to Steve.

“I’m sorry. That was odd.” He said. He turned to Thor. “Thank you.” His form changed. He added a cape. I smiled at the sweet bit of hero worship this blank slate just displayed.

“Thor, you helped create this?” Steve asked. He was panicked. He thought it was Ultron.

I put my hand on him.

“I’ve had a vision. A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its center is that.” Thor explained, pointing to the yellow stone embedded in the new life’s forehead. The same stone from the vision I’d had when I’d died.

“What the gem?” Bruce asked taking a step forward.

“It’s the Mind Stone. It’s one of the six infinity stones. The greatest power in the universe. Unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.” Thor explained.

As he spoke I approached the new life. He turned to face me and I reached up and touched the stone. He placed his hand on James and James stopped crying. I could see how the stone had been wanting so badly to be used, and that this was now the safest place for it. This being would protect it, and us with it. I let my hand drop.

Steve grabbed me and pulled me away. “Then why would you bring it here?” He snapped.

Thor interrupted him. “Stark is right,” Thor said.

Bruce sucked in his breath. “Oh, this is definitely the end times.”

“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron,” Thor said.

“Not alone.” The new life added.

“Why does your vision sound like JARVIS?” Steve asked circling the new life. He was still so scared of it.

“We configured JARVIS’ MATRIX, to create something new,” Tony answered.

“I think I’ve had my fill of new,” Steve growled.

The new life turned to Steve. “You think I’m a child of Ultron?”

“You’re not?” Steve asked.

“I’m not Ultron. I’m not JARVIS. I am …” It paused. “I am.”

“Steve. He is safe. I felt him. He’s the answer. To all of this.” I said, putting my hand on Steve’s elbow.

Wanda approached the new life. “I looked in your head and saw annihilation.”

“Look again.” The new life said. I was surprised Wanda couldn’t already see. I could see everything. All the potential outcomes to what was being laid out before us. Her mind was much more strongly linked to that stone than mine. How did she not already see? I saw her scan him and relax. She accepted him as I did.

“Her seal of approval means jack to me.” Clint snapped.

“What about mine?” I asked.

Clint glared at me.

“Their powers. The horrors in our heads. Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone and they’re nothing compared to what it can unleash.” Thor interjected. “But with it on our side …”

“Is it?” Steve interrupted. “Are you? On our side?”

There was a pause as the new life thought about its answer. “I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“Well, it better get real simple real soon.” Clint seethed.

“I’m on the side of life. Ultron isn’t.” He came over and placed his hand on James again. “He will end it all.”

“What’s he waiting for?” Tony asked as the new life drifted away from me again.

“You.” It answered.

“Where?” Bruce asked.

“Sokovia. He’s got Nat there too.” Clint answered.

“If we’re wrong about you … If you’re the monster Ultron made you to be …” Bruce said. He approached the new life like he was trying to threaten him with the Hulk.

“What would you do?” It asked. There was a long pause. “I don’t want to kill Ultron. He’s unique. And he’s in pain. But that pain will roll over the Earth. So he must be destroyed. Every form he’s built. Every trace of his presence on the Net. We have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others.” It looked down at its hands. “Maybe I am a monster. I don’t think I’d know if I were one. I’m not what you are. And not what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.” He reached down and lifted Mjölnir and offered it to Thor.

We all stared. No one was sure what to do. Thor took his hammer, dumbfounded as the new life walked away.

“Right,” Thor said. “Well done.” He patted Tony’s shoulder and followed his Vision.

Steve turned to the rest of us. “Three minutes. Get what you need.”

Everyone scattered to get what they needed. Steve turned to me. “You’re staying here.” He ordered.

“But …”

“No, buts. You’re staying here. We’re fighting robots. What do you think you will achieve being there? You’ll only distract me. You’re staying here and looking after our son.”

Our son. Not my son. Ours. I swallowed and nodded my head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Come home to us.” I could feel tears prick my eyes. He took my cheek in his hand and kissed me. When he pulled away he leaned down and kissed James, running his palm over the top of his head. He took one last look at us and strode off.

// NEXT

[maagicmiss]

Endgame spoilers !! Beware the spoil !!

This movie was amazing. With a lot of humor, which never fall flat. I was dumbfounded from the beginning to the end tbh Nobody asked for it but there is my hot take of Avengers 4 :

I felt really bad for Thor because ya know, depression™️ but damn the surprise/shock made me laugh. Noobmaster is an absolute evil that we need to end. They kinda did him dirty, I really wasn’t wanting for that but eh 🤷🏻‍♀️ Broken man 😔 Everytime I think about how much he lost I die inside a little more. Rocket was the real best dude here. Cheers to him. I was so fck happy for him when he got his hammer back !!! Like !!! "I’m still worthy" !!!!! You go you funky thunderous man !!! He deserves to be happy at all cost. Protect this man. During the last battle I was shook, with both his hammer and axe, fighting the purple asshole, so cool. Amazing, truly. Also, when he gave Valkyrie the commandment ?? My queen. She’s now my queen. By the way, we all know who’s in command of the Guardians now 🔥🔥😂

I can’t exprim how much I was sad for Natasha. When I saw them climbing this damned mountain I understood it was over for her 😭😭 I will love her until my dying breaths. She did deserve better but she died protecting her family, and the earth. She was the one who fought until the end, who did everything she could, and managed to avenge the earth. Thanks to her Thanos was defeated. Let’s honor her 😭👊🏻🔥

Clint. Like, dude. Pain. Angst. A bit of stupidity but that’s Clint so yeah. The assasinsbowl was ofc won by Natasha, and he lived. I would’ve been pissed if he died because he killed all this (bad indeed) people out of pettiness and sadness and anger for his family but he would’ve let himself die ? I understand. But like, dude. No. You’re a father. A husband. Natasha was ofc going to sacrifices herself instead of you.

HULK !!! My man. He’s happy and that’s all that matter 😭❤️ We stan a confident and humourus man y’all (Im still waiting for a height joke when Scott got aaaaaall huge in the end rip) Also, him being ashamed of his past self ??? Amazing. I couldn’t even in my wildest dreams lol I was dead when he met the old sorceress and got kicked out of his body lmaoo

STEVE. Or best known as America’s ass. Bae. I love that man. Everybody does. He did it. He did all his possible and it payed off. Also what a quick learner. When the hammer got lift, I was "W H O ???" Tbh I was thinking Loki, like "yo surprise bitches" but it was way better xD I think I screamed lmaooo But man, so fucking cool and impressive. That scene where he stand alone in front of Thanos and of his whole army ? With his broken shield ? I C O N I C. I am already seeing all the edit, gif, tribute, fanart and fanfic about it. I can’t wait y’all. Although, I was a bit disappointed about his closure ? Like yeaaah it was neat but... idk....... a bit dissatisfied and disappointed. The Steve/Steve was funny but also sad, idk. Although, Steve in the elevator saying Heil Hydra was beautiful.

Tony. I need to say it. Steve did him dirty. Like. Poor man. He didn’t deserve that, at all. I would’ve preferred Steve snapping down Thanos than him. He’s a father !! A husband too !!! Steve promised to him he wasn’t going to die. LIES, ALL LIES. I’m salty. But no hate for the blond man please. In the end, it was Tony choice. In the end with "The proof that Tony Stark has a heart" was heartbreaking. I wasn’t ready AT ALL. I’m not his biggest fan but oh damn, Sadness got me down. His daughter ? Pain. The little kid from Iron man 3 ?? Pain. Happy being sad ? Pain. Pepper ? Pain. I’m dead. He deserved better 😔 When he met his dad, I was dying. Dying of sadness but also of joy. Glad he could talk to him, and even hug him !!!!

Carol !!! THE bitch. I love her. She could walk on me and I would apologize. We didn’t saw her that much but ya know, it’s cool. I gave her entry a 9/10 because there wasn’t thunder lol (unlike Thor in Infinity War, who rightfully had a mighty 10/10). She was a queen. That haircut ? Beautiful.

Nebula. She’s my bae. Protect her. She’s doesn’t seem to need it but she does. Baby. She baby. But she’s a dangerous baby so be careful lmao Her killing in cold blood her past her (??? Was that suicide ?? Or murder ?? Or murder suicide idk ???) to protect her past sister was tragically sad and heartbreaking and beautiful. I’m saying a lot beautiful but hey I’m doing my best with my limited vocabulary. Nebula and her, and the guardian deserves happiness. Lowkey shooketh that nobody saw it was the past Nebula and not the right one but I’m going to excuse them by saying it the excitement of having all Infinity stones and of sadness for Natasha. Other way I’m about to throw hands 🤬😤

Iconic moment :

Carol saving Tony’s ass. We all knew that was how it gonna to happen but I was so relieved. 9/10.

Thor killing in cold blood Thanos in front of everyone, dead inside was wow, brutal. Not happiness out of it, no recomfort. Merciless, brutal, cold. He was here for the head and he got it. 7/10

Not an iconic moment but shush. The five years later ? I was astonished. It must have been 5 painful years. The world was in shred, dusts and broken people everywhere. Pain. Everything is blue, melancholic, broke. If I was one of the missing people coming back I would tell to every fucking one that joke "Hey, I’m gone like 5 seconds and everybody go apeshit ? What would you all do without me ?" Yeah im that bitch lmao 10/10 because you feel that emptiness and sadness.

Tony joining the idiots and Tired Steve™️ with an actual good plan in his fancy car with a lot of skids and other fancy stuff ? 10/10 good one, boi

That scene from Avengers 1 ? Then them on the side ? 6/10

Steve in that elevator ? You already know. 9/10

Steve commenting on his own ass ?? 1000/10 Trust me, it’s fair. Were waiting for that since Avengers 1.

I love Steve

Loki ?? Man, that dude is a joke but I love him. The face he made when he saw the case slide.... beautiful. The face he made when he jumped in the time hole ??? Iconic. 10/10. I want to know how everything is gonna to play with his series. I wanted more of him tbh I even was waiting for him in the last battle. By the way, is he still dead ? If he never went to Odin.... idk. Lowkey confused here.....

And last but not least :

The final battle.

Damn.

The fight between Iron Man, Thor, Captain and Thanos was intense. I was on the edge of my seat lmao It reminds me of their fight in Avengers 1, in the forest, for Loki. They were fighting against each other, now they’re fighting together 🔥👊🏻❤️ 9/10

Steve picking up the hammer ? 10/10 No comment, it’s fair. (The "I knew it" of Thor was priceless)

Steve getting a rematch on Thanos with both his shield and Hammer ? I C O N I C. 9/10 because it didn’t last long in my opinion.

Steve in front of the whole army ? Alone ? The face dirty of dirt and blood, the shield cut in half ? After he slowly stood up, even tho he was tired and probably had broken ribs ? How dare you not applause. That old man was ready to fight them all, and to fucking die. Stupid but amazing. 1001/10. Slightly better than him commenting on his own ass lmao (tag me if u ever do a fanart of this scene please)

Sam calling Steve ? Not iconic but still. I was dying and it cured me. My skin is clear, my debt are payed off, my grades are perfect and I’m now immortal.

The Powerful Women squad ? Damn. I love it. Sign me up for 10 movies about their shenanigans around the universe. 10/10

All the dead one coming back to life ? All the dead coming through the portals ? And looking badass af ?? Doctor Strange ? Wong ? Wanda ? Sam ? Bucky ? Spider man ? The Guardians looking sharp ? Black Panther with his sister and Okoye ? The Wankanda Army ? The spatial ships ? EVERYONE ????? Bitch Please, it was perfect. 10/10.

Tony snapping ? "I’m Iron Man." I was euphoric. 10/10. Then I was really sad. So 10/pain

"Proof that Tony Stark has an heart" ? A painful 7/10.

As you can read, I loved that movie. Like, very much, but, I’m a bit dissatisfied about the music. The Russos were idk, timid ? Shy about it. Most of them were old one, the themes of the characters and the principal theme (the one from avengers 1). Nothing too extraordinary, nor extravagant. Can do better.

Also, idk why but I found that Hulk was a bit weird ? Idk he seemed emotionless ? Maybe it’s only me but I didn’t like that much the CGI of Hulk this time.

Wanda. She barely spoke. Rip

Tony’s death. He shouldn’t have died.

Steve’s old days/death/idk. I’m not buying it. I don’t like it either. Glad Sam is Captain America now tho. Sad for Bucky. The dude is gonna end up alone in 2022 (or idk what years) with only Sam and Steve’s grandchildren or idk Rip dude

There is soooo much to say about this movie. Like, I write something down and something else is immediately coming up x) Maybe I’ll edit stuff later.

[chirpingtiger]

Tony stans hate Wanda so much because she's living proof that Tony's sordid past didn't all just “magically get better” when he decided to stop selling weapons to everyone but the American government.

Tony stans as a whole seem desperate to villainize Wanda at every given opportunity - to make her bad or evil or unforgivable in some way.

For the longest time I thought it was just an attempt to make their fav look better, but after seeing them all forgive or even praise Pietro, who had the exact same motives and nothing if not more extreme methods than Wanda, now I'm starting to wonder...

Why is it that one twin is forgiven, while the other is condemned?

Now a lot of people immediately jumped on the reason being sexism because Wanda is a girl and the Tony fan crowd aren’t really known for being kind to anything that might interrupt one of their crack ships, but based on the immense hate for Steve, Clint, Sam, and Scott that they all seem to perpetuate as well, I don't think this is the case.

Instead, I think that it likely boils down to the fact that Wanda is still alive, while Pietro is not.

Because while Wanda is still alive, the stans have to see a victim of Stark's careless weapons manufacturing days that is not a closed case or a done deal or a nameless extra that they can forget about a scene later.

For once, they have to face the fact that Tony’s mistakes have very long-reaching consequences.

Yes, Tony blew up the Ten Rings, but what about all the people whose lives they destroyed with his weapons before he did?

Who cares, because that never comes up. It gets swept under the rug.

Likewise, how many people were killed as collateral in Iron Man 2 and 3? How many grieving families were left a member short?

Who cares, because we never see them again. Tony sweeps in, "saves the day," and never once looks back.That’s what the PR team gets paid to do.

How many people did Tony injure or kill in Johannesburg when he decided to fight Hulk in a crowded city and punch him through buildings instead of luring him off into the forest or calling in the iron legion as backup?

Doesn’t matter, we don’t ever have to look at his involvement in that again.

How many innocent lives were destroyed when Tony decided to lie to Thor and use a highly dangerous and malicious infinity stone to bring his world-peace-keeping program to life outside of SHIELD/HYDRA’s project insight, and it subsequently went rogue and tried to destroy the planet?

Doesn’t matter, because nobody cares about any of them but Charlie Spence, the American Boy who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and whose death can be blamed on the team as a whole if he twists the words just right.

Nobody even mentions Wanda’s twin brother who died at Ultron’s hand. He’s just completely out of the picture here.

All of Tony’s victims up until this point have been completely and utterly ignored.

Except for Wanda.

The sad part is, she’s not really even doing anything malicious.

She’s just hanging out with the others at the compound and doing her best to help and protect innocent people. The same thing they’re always going on about when it comes to Tony: “Oh, he’s just trying his best you can’t blame him if he’s not perfect.”

But the problem isn’t what Wanda is doing. The problem is that Wanda is walking evidence that people were hurt because of Tony’s actions, and that people continue to suffer long after he threw out his apology letter to the press.

Wanda was orphaned at a very young age. Suffered immense trauma. Was left homeless to grow up cold and hungry on the street. Her country, her home, was destroyed, and her last living family member was slaughtered.

All of these things due either directly or indirectly to Tony Stark.

Wanda has had every single aspect of her life destroyed by Tony’s carelessness and bad decisions.

She never brings this up - in fact, she doesn’t even seem to have a grudge against Tony over it - but her moving on from her anger doesn’t matter to the fans, because she is and will continue to be a walking example of just what Tony is responsible for doing.

And just like Tony himself, his fans will do anything to make that walking sign of his accountability go away.

This is why, despite everything Wanda does in the narrative to redeem herself, she will never be good enough for them.

They are all quick to point out the “ridiculousness” of Wanda blaming Tony for her parents death based on his name being printed on the weapon, but they never bring up the fact that she was ten years old at the time, or went through the type of extreme trauma that would easily override logical thinking, even in the longer term, or that Tony’s weapons were STILL being actively used on Sokovia, and that was the reason that the twins (as well as dozens of other Sokovians) signed up with Dr. Strucker.

They leave out all of the details that might possibly explain her continued grudge against Tony in AoU, as well as the fact that her brother was the one who talked her into volunteering and simply wanted to kill Tony straight off the bat. They instead and instead try to perpetuate the lie that she’s being illogical and stupid for blaming Tony for anything that happened instead of magically knowing that someone else was pulling the strings or had bought the weapons illegally.

They take what is very clearly a terrorist attack and make Wanda the bad guy - acting like not a single life would have been lost in Lagos if Wanda had just been in jail like she belonged, and erasing Rumlowe from the picture entirely in order to do so. They forgive a known Nazi and mass murderer of all involvement, just so they can make Wanda look more at fault for not being able to save all of his victims.

They blame Wanda for Steve going outside the law and becoming a fugitive, despite the fact that Steve originally broke the Accords to stop an extrajudicial kill order on Bucky, or the fact that it was Tony locking Wanda up for Ross to come pick up/imprison that eventually forced Steve’s hand to more drastic measures.

They make Wanda responsible for Rhody’s injury, even though Rhody gave the command to fire, and Vision took the shot despite all of them flying within friendly fire distance of his target.

They blame Wanda for Thanos succeeding, despite the fact that he only succeeded because Tony refused to warn Steve and the others of the danger like Bruce begged him to (leading to Vision’s grievous injuries) and that he delivered the time stone right to Thanos, meaning that nothing anyone else did to stop Thanos would have done anything more than delay his progress by a few minutes.

They are desperate to find fault in everything she does or is involved in.

This is why the stans want her jailed. This is why they want her killed. This is why they call her evil, and a bitch, and a Nazi. This is why they make up off-the-wall posts about whitewashing someone of north European descent despite that area being mostly pale-skinned, and pretend that the actress is some horrible person in real life. This is why they write dozens of posts and hundreds of fanfics condemning Wanda and showing her as the evil hiding in the Avengers’ midst.

This is why they are so desperate to blame Tony’s mistakes on her.

They want this character gone by any means possible so they can go right back to pretending that their fav has done no wrong, and that a simple comment about “maybe I shouldn’t let terrorists sell my weapons anymore” is enough to fix all of the innocent deaths and destruction that he’s gleefully made his billions on.

Wanda was not the only one hurt by Tony’s actions, but she’s the one they have to look at and remember that he wasn’t always good, and that he has still yet to make up for most of what he’s done.

Don’t let them turn her into just another Tony sub plot.

#protect Wanda from the stans

[marvelliz]

Awkward?! (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x (Avenger) Reader

Warnings: None really, just some kissing

Word count: 1794

Summary: Just your typical ‘And there was only one bed’ story. Bucky and you can’t stand each other, so sharing a bed during a mission is not exactly high on your bucketlist. But sometimes you just don’t have a choice.

This is set in a universe were Civil War and Infinity War didn’t happen, and everyone lives happy together in the Avengers Tower. Reader is an Avenger.

A/N: Hi! This is my first fanfic here on Tumblr (also my first fanfic in a long, long time) so I’m either a little bit rusty, or just a really bad writer. You can choose;) I wrote this because of an imagine I read a while ago (I don’t remember which fandom) and just had to get it out of my head. So here ya go, enjoy! ~ Liz

Just your luck.

Stark had sent you, along with five other avengers, on an undercover field trip to Maine. He and Cap had some clues about a Hydra base somewhere in the area, and while the mission was going on, the six of you were stationed in a little motel. And of course there were only three free rooms with each one bed.

“I’d say we toss for it,” Wanda suggested.

You sighed. “Fine. As long as I don’t have to sleep with Barnes.”

Normally, you would’ve volunteered – you were good friends with Sam and Steve, and it was just sharing a bed, nothing more – but both boys had claimed one of the rooms for themselves. That meant one of you had to share a room with Bucky. And if there was anything you didn’t want …

Wanda and Natasha shot each other a look. They knew by now how much you disliked him, you almost didn’t talk about anything else. And that’s exactly why they were convinced there was something more about your feelings. After all, there’s only a fine line between hate and love.

They had made excuses about how both of them had a boyfriend, so it wasobvious that they just couldn’t sleep with another man, even if it was for a mission. But you were adamant, so tossing it was.

Natasha took the dice. “I’m one or two. Wanda is three or four.” She started shaking the object in her closed hands. “Y/N is five or six. Agreed?”

Both Wanda and you nodded, so Nat tossed the dice on the table in front of you. It rolled and rolled … and came to a stop.

“Which number is it?” You asked Wanda, because the dice was too far away for you to see.

Nat stretched her neck to take a look, then smirked at you. Wanda just tilted her head. You waited for their answer, but then it dawned on you. Your eyes widened.

“No.”

You weren’t surprised when the supersoldier opened the door and immediately turned with an exasperated sigh at the sight of you. He couldn’t stand you just as much as you couldn’t stand him, that was obvious.

How it had come that far, you had no idea. You actually quite liked Bucky when you first met him. But he was really competitive, and you were even more so. And so everything you did turned into a competition, to the point where the others were so annoyed that they all left the room whenever you and Bucky started bickering.

That, and then there was that annoying tension that you felt whenever you were near him.

Why they had agreed to put you two together, you couldn’t put your finger on it.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the ground if you want to.”

You turned from where you were brushing your hair in the bathroom mirror, and saw Bucky eyeing the rather small two-person bed. You just shrugged. “Fine.”

Laying the brush aside, you opened one of the wardrobes where you had seen the extra blankets, and threw them at the soldier, who glared at you. “Here you go. You should have enough with two.”

“It’s winter.”

“Aren’t you the Winter Soldier?” You snapped and crawled into the bed, making yourself comfortable between the warm blankets.

Bucky growled, but started making his arrangements on the floor. Ignoring his stumbling, you buried your face into the soft pillow and tried to sleep. Until finally, it was silent.

And then you heard Bucky groan again.

A soft sigh escaped your lips. “Can you please be quiet? I’m trying to sleep here.”

Bucky was annoyed, you heard it in his voice. “Yeah? Well so am I.” He turned again, which made the floor boards creaking. “You’re not special, doll.”

Another sigh. “Just -, Just come here.”

The creaking halted. “What?”

He sounded almost insecure, which you definitely weren’t used to. A ghost of a smile formed on your lips. “Just get in bed before I change my mind.”

It was silent for a moment, then you heard him move. Your eyes were closed, but you felt him scramble next to you in the bed. This was not kindness, you told yourself when you felt his warmth too close for your liking. This was only because he was an important part of the team and they needed him in the morning. He would be useless if he didn’t sleep enough and, more important, if he didn’t sleep, you wouldn’t sleep. And there was nothing you loved more than sleep.

His weight next to you shifted, and the cold metal of his arm brushed your skin. You hissed.

“Keep that thing away from me.”

He chuckled mockingly. “You mean my arm? The one that is attached to my body?”

You tried to look at him, but in the dark you only saw the contours of his shoulder-length hair and his bare chest, because obviously he had refused to wear any shirt, even in the cold. “Yes, that one exactly.”

Bucky turned to look at you, eyes glinting in the dark. “I thought you used to like it so much, doll.” His face was inching closer to yours. “What has changed?”

He knew damn well that something had changed between you, and the thick tension in the room was only an example. You turned to face the ceiling. “Your arm is freezing. So no, I don’t like it that much right now.”

Bucky didn’t answer, and the silence that fell between you two was more awkward than comforting. Your eyes were wide open, not able to sleep with that tension still as a blanket over you.

“I mean, I get it. It’s cold outside, so your metal arm is cold too. But shouldn’t it have warmed up by now. We’ve been inside for more than an hour!”

“Y/N …”

You were rambling, you knew it. But that was something you tended to do when you felt awkward, so you couldn’t stop. “And I feel how hot your body is –“

“I’m flattered, but –“

“So shouldn’t your arm at least warm up a little? If your body does, why not your arm? What is the logic behind it? It’s a machine, right?”

“Y/N, please stop.”

Bucky shifted again, but you didn’t pay him much attention, desperate to lower the awkwardness. “Then why doesn’t it warm up? I’m not an engineer, but –“

Suddenly you felt two hands on either side of your face, the difference of his warm flesh hand and his cold metal hand making you shiver. Your eyes widened when you saw Bucky hovering over you, his features much more visible now that he was so close. And then you felt his lips on yours.

At first you didn’t move, too shocked to do anything. But it was as if your body and your mind were completely separated, as your eyes closed and your hands tangled in Bucky’s hair. You melted into the kiss, slightly arching your back to give him more access. His metal hand moved to take yours, held it over your head and intertwined your fingers, while his other arm wrapped around your waist.

If you were honest with yourself, you had to admit that you had maybe thought about kissing Bucky once or twice. You had never thought it would be like this.

He tasted like mint, his mouth almost devouring you as if he would die without you. Your teeth softly bit in his lower lip and he let out a sinful moan.

You whined when he pulled away, only to attach his lips to your neck. A gasp escaped your lips when he sucked on that one particular place, the one that felt so good, and you were sure that it would leave an obvious bruise tomorrow. But you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

All your previous thoughts about Bucky disappeared, until only one was left: you wanted more. You wanted this forever.

And then he stopped.

He pulled away, still hovering over you, searching for your eyes in the dark. His breathing was heavy, matching yours, and his eyes fell on the mark on your throat. The one he gave you.

“Y/N, I am so sorry. I didn’t … I’m sorry.”

His pupils were still blown with lust, voice hoarse and lips swollen, and you were positively sure he had never looked more handsome. All you wanted to do was to kiss him again. And maybe again.

“It’s okay.” You ran your fingers through your hair, slightly tangled from where his hands had been. “It’s … nothing, okay?”

He stared at you for a moment, searching for the lie, before nodding and laying back down. “If you say so.”

But you wished you hadn’t said so.

You turned away from him, trying to sleep. You tried, really, but your mind was still by what had happened earlier. How he kissed you, how he intertwined your fingers. How his lips felt in your neck and on your mouth, and how good he tasted. How you wanted to taste him again.

“I told you so!”

You woke up by something shifting under you, as if someone tried to steal your pillow away. A whine escaped your lips by the sudden daylight that shone through the windows, not wanting to get up yet. You shifted slightly, trying to shield away from the light.

Something wasn’t right.

You slowly opened your eyes. Nat and Sam were standing at the end of the bed, looking down at you. That wasn’t anything new, it was probably their turn to wake everyone up.

But it was their smirk that made you think something was wrong.

It was only when you turned your head and were met with Bucky’s shocked eyes staring down at you, that you realized why they had been grinning like idiots.

You were laying half on his bare chest, his metal arm around your shoulder and your legs intertwined. Eyes widening, you were immediately awake.

You bolted upright. “It is notwhat you think!”

Sam huffed. “Sure it isn’t.”

Meanwhile Nat’s smirk widened. “Then what is that?”

You had no idea what she was talking about, until she pointed at somewhere above your shoulders. Your thoughts immediately went back to the night before, to Bucky’s lips on your neck.

Your face heated up, embarrassed, while you glanced at Bucky. He looked as if he had no idea what to say, something you and him had in common, for once.

Natasha laughed. “That’s what I thought.” She almost danced out of the room, Sam following her, leaving the two of you behind. You heard her yell from in the hallway. “Steve! You owe me ten bucks!”

[dr-dendritic-trees]

Here be the Endgame thoughts, they are filled with spoilers. 

So, I had SUPER low expectations for Endgame. I have been finding the big teamup movies increasingly cumbersome, I still can’t summon the energy to sit through Infinity War.

But on the whole I thought it was a very good movie. I enjoyed it more than I didn’t.

Whether you like Endgame or not, in my opinion, comes down to whether you personally found it emotionally satisfying. If you did, great, if you didn’t, I’m not here to try and talk you around, I’m sorry to hear the movie didn’t do it for you, and I hope you find some really good fanfic to make up for it.

And in the end, that’s what it came down to. It worked for me. It happened to have in it, the things I personally needed it to have. It met my expectations.

I didn’t want to get bogged down in post-apocalyptic details of the Snap, and I wasn’t, and I wanted to not have the universe reset by unwinding time, because that trope almost never works for me, and they didn’t.

I did get emotionally resonant call backs, cool fights and interesting character interactions. And quite frankly, my home fandom is Halo and I received the gifts of the team in matching armour, and glorious heroic deaths. 

But the biggest reason why I felt leary of Endgame going in, was that I didn’t feel ready for an ending. I didn’t have an ending I wanted, because I wanted about a dozen per character. I still do, and I knew I wasn’t going to get that. But I really felt like the movie honour that. That’s what the time-travel mechanic is based on. You can’t change you past, but we can have an infinite number of avengers, making trouble in infinite New Yorks.

That’s basically it. Keep reading for character by character breakdown (starting with the bad bits, moving onto the good bits).

Unfortunately the fact that most of the movie was good, made the bad bits bad:

1. The much played up “gay character”. What crap. Seriously. That was nothing. There’s a lot of things about endgame that I think need to be viewed Doylistly, especially the character endings which are, of course, based on actor contracts. But this isn’t it “its a superhero movie, what do you expect” explains the lackadasical time travel, it does not excuse making a huge fuss over such a piddling little gesture.

2. Clint: What a fucking disaster. I hated every single thing about it. Part of the suspension of disbelief of a superhero movie, along with superpowers is that our heroes are going to beat up rooms full of people, and that’s going to be good, and we’re going to cheer. So I didn’t have time, in the tiny little clip we got, to feel anything at all about Hawkeye slicing through rooms of ‘baddies’. So the whole, fall-and-redemption arc fell totally flat, and added to that, I got to sit through the image of a white man slicing through rooms of people of colour, and it was gross, and I didn’t like it. I get that Clint has been criminally underdeveloped by these films. But it was too late to fix it in Endgame, they should have just admitted it.

Also, it cost us the alternate take on Clint and Natasha’s final scene that my friend suggested “I have to save you you have a family” vs “No, I’ve had a family, I’ve had all that time, you’ve only just found yours, so I have to send you back to them”. 

3. Thor: Not only was everything they did with Thor a small-minded mean-spirited joke, it was one they kept dragging on and on and on. I hated it. That being said, two points. Firstly, in a weird way, I feel slightly better about Frigga’s death now, giving her agency over it makes it marginally less fridgy. And also, the final Thor look, with the braided beard! Superb! Amazing! Wonderful!

4. Wanda: for the first time ever I had a feeling about Wanda. I was surprised.

5. Bruce: I have no real feelings one way or another, about the professor hulk thing. It sets up the end of the movie well, I think on balance they’re more interesting as characters when they’re split up. But maybe it’ll grow on me.

6. Nebula: I still haven’t seen GOTG2, but I love Nebula now! I love her and Rhodey together, I want them to get a movie.

7. This isn’t a character, but the overall rhythm of the finale, where the avengers finally avenge the world and then  the dead they avenge come help them fight. It could not be better, it was wonderful. Also the final scene with all the ladies brought me joy beyond telling. I’ve subsequently seen some critiques that it was “just pandering, not real feminism” but I just don’t care guys. Its an action sequence in a big final act showdown, all it needed to be was pandering. I love to be pandered to, quite frankly.

8. I still haven’t seen Captain Marvel, but she’s extremely shiny and exciting and I am in love with her.

10. Steve: Steve fighting himself (complete with Winter Soldier callbacks) was amazing fanservice, but also surprisingly moving, as a commentary on Steve as a character. Steve with the hammer was everything. As to the ending, I liked this more the day after the movie than when I first saw it. Overall I thought it was really good. I know a lot of people longed for Steve to get a retirement, but honestly, I would never have found that believable. Steve, will always fight. And even though Steve’s been circling around the idea of ‘moving on’ since Avengers, he never did. So I felt this completed things. I like the implication of openeness. Steve is the moral core of the story, so Steve, as the keeper of the infinity stones works for me. I’m sure he and Peggy kicked Hydra ass across all sorts of parallel timelines and it was great. One quibble: I would have put that dance in Peggy’s office, I think it would have called back to Peggy’s arc in Agent Carter better.

11. SAM GOT THE SHIELD SAM GOT THE SHIELD SAM GOT THE SHIELD.

12. Bucky: I mean, I ship it too and all, but where Steve has been failing to move on forever, Bucky hasn’t. He’s got a whole life, and ultimately, the life he has in the films, rather than our hearts, hasn’t had a lot of Steve in it. I’m fine with letting the man go back to his goats in Wakanda. I trust that he and Steve have made their peace. And quite frankly I now ship Sam and Bucky like never before.

11. Natasha: I loved it. I loved her arc. Did you guys notice that she and Steve switched places in the movie. Steve pulled of a heist and an undercover mission, and ran off to find a life. Natasha became the leader of the avengers and sacrificed herself for her family. It was perfect. My only complaint is that I wanted more of what we got. If the cut out all the bits I didn’t like, we would have had time for a much longer ending for her, and also for Steve to see 2012!Natasha. I just rewatched Avengers and they hit it off so fast and I wanted that.

12. Tony: It was perfect. It hurt and everything about it was amazing. In some ways I feel like there isn’t much more to say, other than that I am choosing to believe that Tony’s extreme Dad skills have created an alternate timeline where Howard is a much better Dad. Also, while much gets made of Tony and Steve’s original disagreement (you’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play), I feel like that was basically resolved in Avengers itself. For several movies now Tony and Steve’s disagreement has been about trading freedom for safety, about the suit of armour around the world. And Tony cut the wire guys. He kept the world safe, and no one had to sacrifice but him, and he died surrounded by three people who were protecting the world in armour he made. And I bawled my eyes out and look forward to doing it again.

[fanficwriter013]

Unrequited - Part Three

Unrequited: A Bucky X Steve X Sam fanfic

Chapter 3

Chapters: One / two / three / four

Series Masterlist

Word Count: 2756

Warnings: Angst, PTSD, depression

Synopsis: A tale of three men who all love differently but deeply, and cannot see what is the obvious answer.

Author’s Note:  Written with my Papa Kate, she loves me I swear. @emilyevanston .  We really hope you like it.  Not totally AOU compliant, not CW compliant, not IW compliant.

All Bucky could remember as he fell was that haunted look in Steve's eyes as he no doubt blamed himself for not being able to catch Bucky. He just wanted Steve to be happy, and he hoped that Peggy would be able to take care of his little punk. Give him the happy little family that he had always wanted. Then there was darkness.

After that, he was aware that he was not dead.   He was aware of the pain. And most importantly, he was aware of the slow passage of time. He didn’t exactly know how much time had passed, but he knew that it was still ticking.

The next thing he vividly remembered was the anger. He had his target, a Perfectly portional blond man wearing something vaguely resemblant of the American flag. There was a sudden weird inkling, almost like the programming that made him protect his handlers. But this didn’t feel the same. This was strong enough to bring back his ability to question.

He knew he shouldn't but the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“The man on the bridge. Who was he?”

The words had flown out of his mouth, and something inside him flinched, knowing that the only answer he was going to get was bullshit and violence. Which was exactly what happened. He was told a lie, and when he questioned it, the pain blossomed across his cheek and was gone in an instant. The last thing he saw before they wiped him are pale blue eyes that reminded him of the ghost of his past.

It became dark again, and the asset was given the target; Captain America. There was a dull ringing like a sensation of Deja Vu, but he couldn’t place it.  All he knew was the mission.  Memorize the file.  Don’t fail.

It was there that he saw hauntingly familiar ice blue eyes, and this stupid little punk was saying things that sounded familiar, causing this nagging sensation like he'd left the oven on. But it wasn’t until this target, Captain America, is bloodied and unconscious that Bucky started to stir. He'd fallen from the helicarrier, and he knew this idiotic spangly man was someone he had to save. So, he jumped from the broken helicarrier into the water after the lifeless body that not even five minutes ago was his target.

He pulled him from the water, heard that he was breathing just fine and took off. He wasn’t sure where he was going but it wasn’t going to be here.

Time still passed by, but now he is in control. He was awake and aware now. It was a new millennium, and he was struggling to be on the run and adapt to this sudden shell shock. He knew that the asset had been awake off and on through the years, and that helped. It was better to keep to himself and not draw attention though. Which is exactly what he does, rebuilding himself and trying to get all of his brain back.

It seemed to be going well.  Or maybe it was technically classified as okay. Every little noise made him jump.  He always stiffened when he heard sirens.  Worst of all was the nightmares.  He coped though.  Moving through the world, making his best.  That is until his world, or whatever fractured semblance of a world he was living, fell apart. He was in the paper, blamed for bombing an embassy building he was nowhere near.  It had resulted in the death of a foreign power's King.

He knew he had to run, but he had to get his bag from his apartment first. He was a floor below his when he knew he was screwed.

His hearing is good and he picked up the sounds of the cars pulling in from a few blocks back.  It covered up the quiet breathing coming from his own apartment.  Somehow it was still no surprise that the perfectly proportional blond man that was once his target was now standing there waiting for him. His body seized up and his heart pounded against his ribs.

There was no time for the small talk that Steve wanted to engage in. Steve Rogers was no longer his friend.  He was Bucky Barnes’ friend.   Not the remaining shell of the man he was now. A deadly assassin that didn’t deserve sympathy. The good thing was that Steve finally clued on to the problem.

“It doesn't have to end in a fight.” For whatever reason he found that statement coming from Steve to be really ironic.  He choked back a barking laugh.

“It always has to end in a fight.” As soon as the words left his mouth, the apartment exploded. There was no time. He had to run. He did the only thing he could think of was to toss this flagman at the swat team swarming up the stairs and pouring into his apartment. It temporarily gave him a window of opportunity, and he was gone.

His temporary flight was brief.  He was caught. Some weirdo in a catsuit with claws that could handle his metal arm was just waiting for him. That was it. The end. He had been arrested.

They took him to what he was sure is a black site for one of the American government agencies that shouldn't exist on foreign soil, to argue about what to do with him. He heard several different opinions, kill him, send him to some high-security prison. And then there was Steve arguing for a rehabilitation. Like there was anything left to be redeemed.

He wasn’t sure how the punk did it. But he talked them into putting him under house arrest at their compound. If he cooperated then he could get help under a controlled setting.  If he cooperated.

He was told that the plane ride back to wherever he was going to be locked up was over 16 hours. And that was plenty of time to tell them everything. So he did, starting with the trigger words and ending with the other soldiers. He told those of them on the plane about what HYDRA made him do to the Stark family, but Iron Man flies solo. From the looks of this group, he's not going to want to tell that story again.

His jail cell looked too comfy for a house arrest deal. His room was bigger than his old apartment, and the bed was about four times as thick as the old flea-bitten mattress he had on the floor. Steve made sure he got settled, but it was in that soft, walking on eggshells way.  Like he wasn’t sure if he was going to break into a million pieces at any moment. That was how they all treat him. Like he was just going to fall apart. Like he hadn’t been on his own for two years.

They made him go to therapy, and it took two weeks before they even found one willing to see the notorious Winter Soldier. Two weeks where he self-isolated and went to the gym at odd hours to lower the risk of running into anyone else. Two weeks that he got away with it.

Then, one day, he was sitting in the chair in his room reading some sort of fantasy book he was told he had to to be current. When the door flies open.

“Alright, tall dark and broody. Enough is enough.”  Sam Wilson storms into the room with him.  Sam Wilson who was there when he was picked up.  Sam who had been making these snarky comments since the day he had arrived.  Which he thought for sure he meant he hated him.  Understandably.  Yet for some reason, Bucky had loved every one.  They had made him feel normal for just a split second.

Sam grabbed Bucky's flesh hand and pulled.  Bucky was taken so off guard that he got up without question. “Movie time, let's go,” Sam ordered.  Bucky started to protest, but Sam waved a hand in his direction.

“You're obligated to be there for thirty minutes. And then if the movie sucks you can leave. That's it, no arguments.” Sam told him, and Bucky was mildly impressed. But he knew that this wouldn't last forever. Soon he'd get the looks and the pity, and the kid gloves just the same as everyone else treated him.

Sam led Bucky to a room with a large circular couch in front of a cinema screen. Bucky had taken an end seat, with Sam sitting himself down right next to Bucky. The rest of the crew were all already in the room, arranged about with popcorn and candy. Including a couple that he'd never seen before.

He could feel the looks and stares even though they're meant to be hidden. He was being evaluated. Judged for being here, for letting them use him as a weapon. For all the deaths he caused. He was brought abruptly back to the room by Sam shifting next to him, leaning into his personal space.

“That’s the Maximoff twins. Wanda and Pietro picked them up in Sokovia after defeating Ultron.” Sam said, at a volume that would only be audible to him and Steve. He's not sure why he was getting an education on this, but he appreciated the names at least.

He tried to tune out the chatter, the weight of stolen glances and bitten tongues. When he was brought back to the room once again by the weight of a bowl being pressed into his arm. He turned to look at Sam.

“Hey man, can't enjoy the movie if you don't have snacks,” Sam said, pushing the bowl into his arm again. Bucky wanted to toss the bowl across the room, but instead, he took a handful of popcorn and tried to relax.

They'd picked some movie with three female leads, and one character that Natasha remarked looks an awful lot like Thor, whoever that was. Bucky hated it, but he couldn’t leave. It was like watching an accident happen, you wanted to look away but you couldn't.

The ending was worse than Bucky predicted it to be but he was still there. As the credits rolled they were talking about getting food, ordering in or going out. And every once in a while, Steve would look at him with this pained look in his eyes. Like he just remembered he couldn't leave the compound. Bucky had already put in enough outside time for the day.

“It's fine. I'm going back to my room.” He said, standing and sweeping from the room before anyone can try and stop him.

He was just about to open his door when the hand shoots out holding the door in place. He had expected it to be Steve. But once again, there is Sam Wilson at his door.

“You stayed for the whole movie, now it's time for food. Come on.” He said, and Bucky couldn't stop himself.

“Why do you care?” It was almost a growl that fell from his mouth. It was at that moment he expected to receive the look of pity. What he finds instead is startling, but refreshing.

“Pardon the pun, but Buck up. It was shit, and I get it. I've seen shit too. What you do now is what matters. And this nasty, self-isolation game is not going to help.” Sam said, and it was probably the most real talk he'd had since he fell. He nodded slowly, and Sam took him to the kitchen to get food.

Since that night, Bucky found himself trying to find comfort in people. He was trying to see why he should socialize, but he still felt as if the only way he should be looked at was with disgust. Or in that way where he could just feel the heavy gaze of bitter sourness.

With Sam, he started to find something. Someone that didn't take his shit. That teased him about his hair, which he should probably ask about getting cut. He didn't realize that he was falling for Sam until after he's fell. It was a sudden realization, and once he realizes it, he almost feels sick to his stomach.

He went to find Steve. Because surely if he’d find Steve, he'd remember that either he was straight, or he had feelings for Steve.  Steve who had always been there.  Sitting in his heart.  Who had brought him back from the soldier by just existing. How could he feel that way for Steve and then develop this same feeling for a man just out of nowhere?

He heard Steve talking to someone in the kitchen and stopped in his tracks. He was frozen, and all he could do was listen.

“Sharon, please. We can make this work.” Steve sounded upset, and he was begging. Bucky could hear a soft shift of the woman's body weight and a heavy sigh. Then all he could hear was their kissing, and now he was free. He quickly fled, not sure where he was going until he wound up at Sam's door. Barging in, unannounced.

“Whoa there, Bucko. You look like a spooked horse.” Sam said that shit eating grin on his stupid, concerned face.

“I went to talk to Steve. Because feelings and Steve was in the kitchen with a woman. And then, and now I'm here. And.” Bucky rambled, his blood boiling and he couldn’t stop as he used his flesh hand to grab Sam by the collar and pull him into a tentative kiss.

As soon as his lips touched Sam's, he realized his deadly mistake and he pulled away.

“I'm sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn't have come.” He said, turning and leaving Sam's room. The other man's pleas falling on deaf ears.

Bucky went back to self-isolation. It was slightly harder now. Considering he had to avoid not only Steve but Sam as well. He took to a completely unpredictable schedule so no one could hunt him down. It worked for three weeks.

He walked into the gym at 2 am. He found he could be in and out before Steve got up at 4, and if anyone else was still up they wouldn't dare step a foot onto the gym floor. Immediately, he was alerted to a presence but that didn't stop him from being slightly startled when Natasha turned the lights on.

“What are you doing, Barnes?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at him.

“I don't -” Bucky started, but Nat waved her hand and glared at him.

“Don't even give me that I don't know bullshit. You know exactly what I'm talking about.” Nat snapped at him, also jabbing him in the chest when she said you.

“I did something stupid, Tasha.” He said, and she nodded.

“That much I have gathered, James,” Nat said, dryly. “How about you skip the explaining part, and assume that I know that you have feelings for both the boys. The obvious choices.” She finished and Bucky could only nod.

“I fell for him, and it felt like I was betraying Steve even though... And I went to talk to him, but there was... He was, he is with Sharon now - happy. So, I went away. And I wound up at Sam's and after I babbled, I,” Bucky paused to take a centering breath.

“You kissed him and then ran away,” Nat said. “Because you only ran. Never got the full story. You know absolutely nothing about those boys, James.”

“Okay, well even if that's true. Why should I even deserve them? I'm tainted.” Bucky said and immediately regretted it by the dark glow in Nat's eyes.

“I'm not going to hit you, but know that that was the stupidest thing you have ever said,” Nat said.

“You don't think those boys have been through the same self-harm as you put yourself through? Let's start with Steve, same era. Same sin bullshit. Now, Sam. Sam should have been alright. But he got the same sin bullshit the two of you did. And now, you may or may not remember a time, long ago, when we lived together. But you are soft, and you do, very much, deserve love. So get your head out of your ass, or I will be forced to take matters into my own hands.” Nat said and stalked off without giving him a chance to even say okay.

[avengerscompound]

Finding Home - Chapter 12

Finding Home: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist Previous //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x OFC (Daisy Adams)

Word Count:  3339

Warnings:  Angst, mentions of torture, violence, major character death, mentions of sexual abuse/rape, pregnancy, smut (vaginal sex, oral sex, pregnancy sex, Bisexual MMF threesome)

Synopsis:  Daisy Adams has abilities. She can read minds. Force her thoughts onto others. As a child, she is taken by Hydra and raised as a weapon. Daisy finds another and speaks to him in his dreams. He has been taken too. He wants to return to the man he loves. Can she get them back together? Will she even want to once she realizes that she’s falling in love?

Chapter 12

Time moved on as it usually does.  I found out I was pregnant again. Steve and I had not been particularly careful because, after James’ violent introduction into the world, I’d been told I probably couldn’t have any more children.  I didn’t know how to tell Steve. He was so good with James, but he was still so reckless all the time and his thoughts were rarely about being a family unless they involved Bucky.  So I kept it to myself.  Wanda scolded me constantly for it.  She told me she was going to tell him if I didn’t soon.  I knew she wouldn’t.

I was slowly working myself up to telling him when the news broke that Rumlow had escaped from prison and was basically just going on a rampage under the name Crossbones.  I became obsessed with just that. Rumlow had taken part of me when I was in Hydra.  He couldn’t just get away with it like that.

We had finally received intelligence about a target Rumlow was planning to hit and Steve had called us together to plan an attack.  We sat around the briefing table.  Everyone else was relaxed and in that boring meeting mode, people fall into when they just want to get on with things.  I, however, was buzzing.  I sat bolt upright, fixed on Steve.

“I’d like to take Sam, Natasha, Vision, and Wanda.  It should be a relatively straightforward extraction.”  Steve said.  “Any objections.”

“I want to go,”  I said.

“You know that’s not practical,”  Steve interjected.  “Until James is able to be left with other people …”

“So what am I here for?  Why even bring me into these briefings?  He’s one.  He can be left with other people.”  I yelled.  I needed to go on this mission.  I needed to get back at Rumlow for what he did to me.

“Perhaps she has a point, Captain Rogers?  It may be the perfect opportunity for Miss Adams to test her abilities in the field.  I could always stay here with the child.  He responds to me.”  Vision suggested.

“You are a fighter, she is not,”  Steve said.  “The team stands as is. We leave in an hour.  Suit up.”  

He got up and headed for the door.  I chased after him.

“You have to stop trying to protect me from this world we’re part of,” I said jogging along behind him to keep up with him.

“I’m quite confident that’s not true,”  Steve said.

“Am I an Avenger or not?”  I asked.

“Not.”

I grabbed his arm.  He stopped and turned to face me.  “Then why am I here?”

He cupped my jaw with his hand, stroking his thumb along my cheek. “Because I love you, and it’s the safest place for you to be.”

“I’m not helpless,”  I said.

“But our son is.”  

I pulled away from him.  Fucking Steve, throwing out the ‘our son’ to try and manipulate me into staying.  “So you stay with him and I’ll go.”

His hand went to my back and he ran it down my spine.  “I don’t understand why this is such a big deal to you.”

I turned and opened my mouth to tell him, but I couldn’t do it.  I didn’t want him to know about my history with Rumlow.  How Rumlow had started having sex with me while I was still too young and ill-informed to know better.  I didn’t want him to look at me differently.  “I can make you change your mind you know?”

“Daisy.” He scolded.  “I know you won’t do that.”

“Then let me come.”  I was whining like a petulant child and I hated myself for it.

“Why do you want this so badly?  You’ve never cared about going on a mission before.”

I started walking away from him.  This wasn’t going to end well.

“Daisy.” He called and this time he jogged to keep up with me.  “Convince me.”

I kept walking in the direction of our quarters.  “Back in Hydra, I knew him.  He did things to me.”

Steve caught my arm and I tried to shake him off.  He didn’t let me and I spun around to face him.  “What kind of things?”

“Please don’t make me say it,”  I said looking at my feet.

“Daisy.” He said my name softly.  Like it was a plea.  As if by saying it, I would suddenly not have had to live through the things I did.  Or that I’d tell him everything and he’d magically be able to fix it.

I tried to pull my arm away from him again but he held me in place and just stared at me.  “Let me go!  I need to go check on James.”

“No, you don’t.  I know you’re always connected to him.  So talk to me.”

“I was a child.”  I cried.  “I was a kid, Steve.  Please, I need to come.  I can’t let him get away with what he did to me.”

Steve’s face turned dark.  “Tell Vision I’m switching you out.”

I stood on the rooftops of Lagos with Sam.  I was scanning the crowd for anyone who may have seen Rumlow and not known about it.  There were a few, but they were old memories.  A good sign that he’d been here to stake things out but not helpful for right now.

Steve’s voice came through the comms.  He was using this mission as a teaching tool.  “Alright what do you see?”  He wanted to see how much Wanda had learned.  He wanted me to learn from her.

“Standard beat cops.  Small station.  Quiet street.  It’s a good target.” Wanda replied.

“There’s an ATM on the South corner which means?”  Steve asked.

“Cameras,” Wanda answered.

“Both cross streets are one way?”

“So compromised escape routes.”

“Means our guy doesn’t care about being seen.  He’s not afraid to make a mess on the way out.”   Steve paused for a second.  “Daisy?”

“No one has seen him today but he’s definitely been here,”  I answered.

“You see that range rover halfway up the block?”  Steve asked.

“Yeah, the red one?  It’s cute.”  Wanda replied.  She sounded cocky.  She knew how powerful she was.  She thought she was invincible.  

“It’s also bulletproof,”  Natasha added.  “Which means private security.  Which means more guns.  Which means more headaches for somebody.  Probably us.”

“You guys know I can move things with my mind right?”  Wanda teased.

“Looking over your shoulder needs to become second nature.”  Nat scolded.

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re a little paranoid?”  Sam teased.

“Not to my face.  Why?  Did you hear something?”  Nat returned.

“Eyes on target folks,”  Steve said sternly.  I smiled at him entering dad mode on us.  “This is the best lead we’ve had on Rumlow in six months, and I don’t want to lose him.”

Sam laughed, peering over the roof.  “If he sees us coming that won’t be a problem.  He kinda hates us.”

“Sam, Daisy, see that garbage truck?  Tag it.”  Steve said.

Sam let his robotic bird out to scan the truck while I focused on the driver.  The driver didn’t speak English, so shuffling through his thoughts took a little effort.  I had to sort pictures together and work out what they meant exactly.  

“He’s heading to the Center for Infectious Disease,”  I said.

“Yeah, that trucks loaded for max weight,”  Sam added.  “And the driver’s armed.”

“It’s a battering ram.” Natasha yelped.

“Go now!”  Steve ordered.

Everyone jumped into action.  This was the bit I was a little useless for.  I abseiled off the side of the building as Sam flew off in the direction of Steve.  

I met with Natasha and was sat on her motorcycle as we waited for orders.

Steve’s voice came over comms.  “Body armor, AR-15s.  I make seven hostiles.”

Sam then started counting them down.

After a little while, we saw a huge cloud of gas billowing up into the sky, glittering with the telltale sign of Wanda’s magic.  

After a few more beats Steve’s voice crackled through comms. “Rumlow has a biological weapon.”

“I’m on it,”  Nat said bursting into action.

As we headed in through the gates of the facility I jumped clear of the bike.  I hit the ground awkwardly.  Damn it.  I needed to listen to Steve more.  I clambered to my feet, as a couple of Rumlow’s men came at me.  I was dazed from the fall, but I managed to shut down their minds.  They fell to the ground unconscious.  I staggered towards the truck where Natasha was much more effectively taking out Rumlow’s men.

I saw Rumlow throw her into a truck and I went to touch his mind to stop him.  Take him out.  The familiarity of it.  The depth of hate. The remainder of my old life.  It froze me.  I just stood.  Unable to act.  Completely repulsed.  

Rumlow climbed into a truck and as it drove away he started firing on Steve. I saw Steve fall from the window and I ran to him.

“Sam. He’s in an AMV heading north.”  He said through comms.  “What just happened with you?  Why didn’t you take him out?”  He said taking my arm and running in the direction of Nat.

“I froze.  I’m sorry.”

“I knew this was a mistake.”

Shit. Fucking shit.

He pushed me towards Nat and we both climbed onto the bike again and she sped off in the direction of Rumlow and his men.  

“I’ve got four and they’re splitting up,”  Sam said.

Nat pulled the bike into a crowded market.  “I’ve got the two on the left.”  She said as she dismounted.

I looked around.  There were so many people here.  All of them in danger.  This was how I could fix this.  I closed my eyes and sent my mind out to all of them.  I touched each one, one at a time and when I felt like everyone in the square who were just there to shop, or socialize, or run their business, was connected to me I took hold. I had become a hive mind.  Pushing this group of people out of the square, as far away as possible.  The moved slowly like zombies, but they moved.   I moved them.  

There were explosions and the fight was sending people flying through structures.  I didn’t pay any attention to that.  That was all happening far away.   I just moved the people out.  

There was a huge explosion.  It broke my connection with everyone.  I looked around.  The square was empty except for a few unconscious people, Steve and Wanda.  The building in front of them had a hole in the side and was burning.  I could feel the pain from injured people inside.  Wanda looked devastated.  I staggered towards them.  My face felt wet.  I looked down at the ground, blood ran from my face and pooled on the ground.  I left a trail of it as I walked.  

“What happened?”  I asked.

Steve turned to me.  His face went white.  Everything went black.

I woke on the Quinn Jet feeling light-headed.  I had my head resting on Steve’s lap and he held a cold compress on my head.  Wanda was crying.  I went to talk to her using my mind but it was like I’d stepped in front of speakers with an active microphone.  I clutched my head at the loud shriek that filled it.  Steve looked down at me.

“Taking you was a mistake.”  He said.

I looked away from him.  

He turned my head back to face him.  “You’re going to have a brain scan when we get back.  These nosebleeds are getting worse.”  

“Stop talking to me like that,”  I whispered.

“You wanted to be on the team.  On the team, I’m your commanding officer. This is how commanding officers talk to their subordinates.”

I sat up and curled my legs to my chest.  “I saved those people.”

“You nearly got me killed and yourself.”  He snapped at me.  

“Steve, that’s enough,”  Nat interjected.

“Nat, she …”

“She did fine.  Nothing that happened today was anyone’s fault except Rumlow’s.  Least of all Daisy’s.  She cleared the plaza of everyone. I get you are scared about something happening to her.  Treating her like this isn’t helping anyone.”

When the jet had landed, I jumped up and dashed into the compound.  Vision had come to meet us holding James’ hand.  He looked so comical wearing a v-neck sweater with Jamie’s hand clasped in his.  In normal circumstances, I would have stopped and taken time to really soak it in.  I just took James offering Vision a quiet thank you and hurried to the room I shared with Steve.

I collapsed on the bed.  James sat next to me looking at me.  I felt his concern for me and tears started leaking from my eyes.  James put his hands over my face and I suddenly felt really calm.  

“Did you just do that?”  I asked pushing his hands away from me.

He looked at me and I knew that he had.  

The door opened and Steve entered.  James stood and held his arms up to Steve pushing the desire to be picked up.  Steve came and lifted him.

“I’m sorry, Daisy.  I got scared when you collapsed.  You need to stop pushing your abilities like that.  I think they’re hurting you.”

“You were right though.  I shouldn’t have gone.”  

I felt the bed shift as he sat down next to me.  He rested his hand on my ass.  “You saved a lot of people.  I’m glad you did.”  I rolled over to face him and he ran his fingers down my cheek. “You’re still covered in blood.  You should take a shower.”  

“You can talk.”  

“You have one first and I’ll watch Jamie,”  Steve suggested.

“What about Vision watches Jamie and we have one together?”

I was under the water rinsing the caked off blood from my face when Steve entered the bathroom.  I turned to him and watched him undress. He had bruises up the left side of his ribs and the right side of his abs.  There was a large one on his back over his left shoulder that stretched down and across his spine.

When he stepped into the water I trailed my fingers over his ribs.  “You worry so much about me getting hurt and look at this,”  I said.

His hands went to my face.  “Those will all heal.”

“You’re pretty reckless, Steve,”  I said trailing my fingers down his chest.  “I know you think you have nothing to live for.  Maybe you should look a little harder.”

He looked at me sadly for a moment.   I wanted to read him.  See what he was thinking.  I’d promised I’d stop doing that.  So I let him keep his privacy.  I guess I was learning to people after all.  I nearly told him about being pregnant too.  The words were on the tip of my tongue.  His reason to live.  I couldn’t do it though.  Not after what had just happened.  We’d just end up fighting.

He pulled me up into a kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck.  He moved his hands to my back and then slid them down to my ass.  His fingers gripped my flesh briefly before he turned me and guided me towards the wall.  He stood me under the showerhead, placing my hands on the shower wall above my head.  He shifted my legs apart and engulfed me from behind.  His hands roamed my body, traveling from my throat to my breasts, down my back, and between my legs.  He stroked his fingers up and down my folds, pressing down on my clit before releasing and swiping back down again.  

I felt his lips against my back followed by his tongue as he lapped stripes up my spine, collecting the water that rolled down my skin. His teeth grazed over the back of my neck and I let out a soft moan.

I let my hands fall from the wall and pressed myself up against him. His erection pushed against my ass and he wrapped his arms around me. One hand gripping my breast the other he returned to my cunt.  He pushed two fingers deep inside of me, curling them and pressing against my internal walls.  He rolled his thumb against my clit and pinched my nipple.  

I moaned loudly and ground into his hand as he sucked on my earlobe. Heat pooled in me, making my skin prickle.  My muscles clenched and I reached behind me and began stroking his cock, pressing it against my ass and running my hand up and down.

He turned me again and lifted me like I weighed nothing.  He pressed me against the wall and entered me. I gasped and wrapped myself around him, pulling him tightly against me.  

“I love you, Steve.  I love when you’re inside of me.”  I purred, nuzzling against his neck.  

He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back.  I opened my mouth letting the water from the shower pool and spillover my lips.  He bit my throat as he thrust into me.  It sent jolts through me.  My orgasm crested.  I dug my nails into Steve’s back, clinging on for dear life.  He picked up the force of his thrusts and I came.  My whole body clenching around him.  

“Fuck! Steve!”  I cried out.  

He grunted and thrust hard into me.  I felt him spill inside of me, and his whole body seemed to suddenly relax.  His mouth met mine again and we kissed slowly as he let me down.  

“I love you too, Daisy.  I’ll try and be less reckless.  You’re right. I still feel so constantly on the outside.”  He said.   It made my heartbreak for him.

“I know.  I feel the same way.  It’s like I’ve never had anyone.  I kind of had Bucky, but not really.  Now I have Jamie.”  I took his hand and kissed it stepping out of the shower.  He switched off the water and followed me.

“You have me too,”  Steve said.  It was almost like a question.  Like he needed the validation.  

I wrapped a towel around myself and looked up at him. “I sometimes feel like I have you but also … I’m not good enough for you.  You are so good.  I feel like the only thing I have in common with you is Bucky.  That that’s all you see in me.”  I shook my head.

Steve pulled me against his chest and I melted into him.  “I think originally maybe that’s true.  You were pregnant with Jamie.  I just saw you like this link to him.  It’s more than that though.  I hope you know that.  I do love you.  As for being too good for you.  People always look at me as this perfect man, who has only pure thoughts and virtuous actions.  You’ve seen in my head.  You know that’s not true.”

“You love him still.  If he came back. I’m still the second choice.”  

He didn’t answer for what felt like forever.  I nearly scanned him.  It took all my willpower not to.  All I would have to do is relax and stop blocking him and I’d know every thought he had.  Instead, I used the time to think.  What would I do if Bucky came back?  All this time I had been so set on the idea that his being here would make it better.  That we could somehow be a family together because of what I’d seen in Steve’s mind.  I’d forgotten that what people think and what they do aren’t always the same thing.

“Do you love Bucky?”  Steve asked, finally breaking the silence.  His hand went to my hair, tangling his fingers in it.

“Yes. Not the way you do though.  But I do.  He’s the only family I’d ever known.  Until now.”

“Maybe … when Bucky comes back he’ll choose both of us.”

// NEXT

[avengerscompound]

Recovery

Recovery: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers

Word Count:  2375

Warnings:  Angst, some foreplay and mentions of sex, grief, ptsd

Synopsis:  Five months since the death of Daisy, Bucky has pulled away from Steve unable to come to terms with his feelings of responsibility for her death. Steve and Wanda pull together to bring him around for the holidays.

A/N:  Follow up to Finding Home.

Recovery

They’d settled in Canada.  Canada didn’t sign the Sokovia accords.  They also had places remote enough that they could be alone, but they were still connected to the world enough that if something were to happen … well, they’d be there ready to defend the world like they’d always done in the past.

Wanda had come with them.  They’d told her it was fine, they could handle it.  She didn’t like the idea of them being alone and not having any way to deal with the kid’s abilities.  Also, she hated being on the run alone.  She’d spent her life with someone constantly by her side.  Now he was gone, she was lost and she needed the consistency of other people she knew and trusted.  Steve had always understood her, so she stayed by his side.

Steve was slowly moving on from his grief at the loss of Daisy.  He was used to being the strong one.  It was what he did.  Having the kids helped.  They needed him.  Having Bucky helped more.  He kept telling himself this was what she wanted.  Since the day they’d met she just wanted to get Bucky back to him, and now she had.  So he was going to appreciate her sacrifice.  

Bucky was struggling more.  It was strange.  He couldn’t shake the feeling that her death was just one more person’s blood on his hands.  Yet now she’d freed him from the soldier, he found himself being happy more and more.  Happy like he was back when Steve was just a little guy and he hadn’t been sent off to war.  Anytime that happened his grief swallowed him even deeper.  The thought of his happiness being solely due to the fact the woman he loved died felt impossible to live with.

As the seasons changed and Christmas approached Steve became single-minded about making it a good one.  This was his family now.  He wanted to start making happy memories for them.  He needed it.  For himself.  For all of them.

He started by taking everyone shopping.  He knew it was risky, but they all bundled up and driven the two hours it took to get to any sort of shops.  They had limited funds but were able to buy decorations and gifts.  Sarah fussed constantly.  She wasn’t used to being around so many minds and she hadn’t worked out how to block them out.  

They bought supplies to help get them through the winter too.  Making sure they had all the things needed for a proper Christmas dinner.  

When they got home Steve went and cut down a small pine tree.  First checking to make sure nothing had made their home in it.  He set it up in the living room and he and Wanda decorated it together.  

Jamie and Sarah became obsessed with the tree.   Sarah, much like her brother had physically developed very fast.  At five months old she was crawling around and pulling herself up on things.  She babbled constantly.  Steve erected a small fence around it to keep them away from the gifts, but the two toddlers would stand and stare and reach their hands in trying to grab the colorful baubles and brightly wrapped presents.  

Wanda gave them a pack of colorful magnets depicting various farm animals to distract them.  The two would toddle around the house finding things that would stick on.  Yes to the fridge.  No to the wall.  Yes to a lamp.  No to the couch.  No to one daddy.  Yes to the other.  

The discovery that magnets stuck to only one person in the house became the most interesting game of all.  Anytime Bucky sat down a little body or two would toddle over and start sticking them to him.  He’d sit and let them create their scenes and when they were done he’d flex the plates on his arm and they’d all go flying causing Jamie and Sarah to squeal with delight and go gather them back up again.  

“That looks like fun,”  Steve said, finding the three playing together on the couch.  He sat down and put his arm around Bucky.  

Bucky’s face fell.  He’d allowed himself time to be happy again.

“Daddy’s sad,”  Jamie said, climbing into Bucky’s lap.  He touched his hands on his head.  

Steve picked Jamie up.  “We don’t change people’s feelings, remember?”  He said.

Jamie grumbled and wriggled out of Steve’s arms.  Climbing back into Bucky’s lap and resting his head against Bucky’s chest.  Steve leaned over and ran his hand through the little boy’s hair.  

“She would want you to be happy, Buck,”  Steve said. “She’d want these moments for you.”

“She’d want to be alive,”  Bucky said, looking away from Steve.

“She knew the risk.  Everyone told her.  She wanted you to be happy.  She wanted us to be happy.  It’s not your fault she made that choice.”  Steve said.  Sarah had started tugging at his leg and he lifted her up and held her on his knee.  

“Yeah, but if I just …”  

“No buts, Buck.  It’s what she wanted.  She died for it.  You could at least allow it to happen when it does.  You don’t always have to be happy, but let yourself be happy when you are.”

Sarah was tugging impatiently at Steve’s shirt.

“Sawa wans a boddle.”  Jamie said, interrupting the conversation.

Steve looked down at his daughter.  “Is that what you want, little miss?”  

“Ba ba ba ba.”  She babbled.  

Steve got up, brushing his hand through Bucky’s hair as he did.  “I love you, pal.  I know I don’t say it much.  At least not in those words.  But I do.  I want to make this work, but I need you to want it too.”

Bucky let his head fall back over the end of the couch.  The door opened and Wanda stepped through accompanied by an icy blast of air.  “It’s started snowing.”  She said, stamping her feet and shrugging off her coat.  

Bucky turned to looked at her and Jamie stood in his lap and clambered up to his shoulder.  “Daddy’s sad.”  He said, making a pick me up gesture to Wanda.  “Fix him.”

She came over and lifted him.  “You know not to fix him with here.”  She said tapping Jamie on the forehead.  “You should fix him with here.”  She tapped his chest above his heart.

“You fix him,”  Jamie said.

Wanda laughed and sat down next to Bucky.  He lifted Jamie from Wanda’s arms and the little boy snuggled down into his chest again, his hand patting over his heart.

“Sorry,”  Bucky said.

“There’s no need to be.”  Wanda fiddled with her fingers.  “James, you know I knew Daisy too.  She and Steve were the first people to trust me on the Avengers.”

“Yeah.  But she didn’t…”

Wanda cut him off.  “I know her loss is worse for you.  I’m not trying to take it away from you.”  She said.  She started moving her fingers the glowing red light of her powers flickering across them.  Jamie shifted in Bucky’s lap to watch.  “One reason she trusted me was, she knew we shared a similar journey.  I was a child when I chose to go to Hydra.  So full of hate.  I had my brother.  Pietro.  We were tortured together to make us special.  They harnessed our anger and our fear and made it this.”  The light in her hand grew bigger and she snuffed it out.  Jamie grabbed her hand and started pulling on it to try and get the light back.  She ruffled his hair.  “She didn’t go to Hydra willingly, but her life was much the same.  Only she didn’t have a brother.  She had you.  You kept her alive and sane.  You made it so she never totally gave herself to Hydra.”

“I know all that,”  Bucky grumbled.  “Does this story have a point?”

“When Pietro and I saw the path our hate was taking us on, we joined the Avengers to undo it.  Pietro sacrificed himself to save Clint and a child.  I still don’t understand why that happened.  He was shot.  Yet he moved faster than bullets.   How does that happen?”  She shook her head like she was trying to clear it.  “That’s not the point.  The point is; is that it did happen.  I had always had Pietro.  Here.”  She touched her chest above her heart.  “And here.”  She touched her forehead.   “Much like you and Daisy.  When I lost him I felt it.  It was like my heart was torn out.  I still feel it to this day.”

“How do you live with that?”  Bucky asked.

“Because I have to.  It’s not always easy, but what choice do I have?  I can’t let my misery consume me.  And neither can you.  You’re a parent, and you have someone alive right here who loves you so much he has been carrying it with him for a century.  Are you really going to let your grief take you away from him again?  When the loss you mourn is for someone who gave you to him.”

Steve stepped back into the lounge feeding Sarah.  She was reclined back in his arms and beginning to drift off to sleep.   “Did you have a good walk, Wanda?”  He asked.

“I did, thank you.  Did you want me to take, Sarah?”  

Steve shook his head.  “I’ve got her.   I was thinking we should make eggnog tonight, maybe teach Jamie how to make s'mores.”  

“I have never made s’mores either.  I would love to learn.”  Wanda said, smiling.

“What do ya think, Buck?  Then maybe Jamie can leave cookies and milk out for Santa.”  Steve said.  

Bucky smiled.  “Yeah, that sounds great, pal.”  He looked down at Jamie and ruffled his hair.  “You should have a nap, little guy.”

“Not tired,”  Jamie grumbled rubbing his eyes.  

“Yes, you are.  Come on.”  Bucky stood up and started heading to the bedroom.

“No.”  Jamie pushed.  Bucky wavered for a moment and Wanda jumped to her feet.

“Hey, no using your abilities on your dad. Undo it.”  She said.

“No!”  Jamie cried.

“Undo it, right now,”  Wanda said, narrowing her eyes.  

Bucky suddenly shook his head and turned to Wanda.  “Damn.  He’s a little scary sometimes.”  

Wanda laughed but it was a nervous, uncomfortable laugh.  “He’ll be okay.  We can do this.”

“Thank you, Wanda.  And for before.”  Bucky said.

“Anytime, James.”

That night they spent together.  This weird mismatched family.   They toasted marshmallows on the open fire and turned them into s’mores.  Bucky made the eggnog, and Wanda made a dinner that was as close to a traditional Sokovian Christmas meal as she could.  Roast duck and spiced, potato dumplings, beef rolls on sauerkraut, bread, herb and ham balls in roast onion white sauce.

After dinner, they stayed up talking and singing songs together.  Bucky let himself actually feel true contentment for the first time since he signed up to join the army in 1942.  Right at this moment, he was safe and Steve was too.  He was himself.  He was a parent.  All the things he had dreamed of but never thought would ever come to fruition had happened.  He’d just been too deep in grief to appreciate it.

Steve and Bucky got the kids to sleep and said their goodnights to Wanda.  Steve started removing his clothes, getting ready for bed.  Bucky came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Steve.  He kissed him under the ear, grazing his teeth over his throat.  

Steve hummed and leaned back into Bucky.  Their mouths met, Bucky dominated Steve.  He’d been keeping himself from Steve for too long and he wanted Steve to know how much he wanted him and needed him.  His hands slid down into the waistband of Steve’s pants.  He stroked up and down the line of his Adonis’ belt and down to his inner thigh.

Steve pulled away, breaking their kiss.  “Buck.  Are you sure?  We haven’t…”

Bucky let Steve go and they turned to face each other.  He cupped Steve’s jaw and stroked his thumb along it.  “I’m sorry, Stevie.  I’m sorry I’ve left you alone to just care for us.  That you haven’t had a chance to grieve because you’ve just had to be the strong one.  I’m going to be here now.  I want us to be …”  He trailed off, not knowing how to end.

“Us?”  Steve asked.

Bucky nodded and Steve pulled him into a kiss, pressing his body tightly against Bucky’s.  They started to shed each other’s clothes as they moved towards the bed.  When they reached the mattress they just fell together, hands stroking, clawing and gripping at each other.  Their mouths battled.  The feelings that Bucky had been suppressing out of guilt and that Steve had been holding back to give him time all coming out at once.  Lust and love and passion.  Their complete need for each other.  

That night they made love three times.  Not concerned with the early start they had, or the fact that Sarah was likely to wake them at 2 AM. They just were unable to keep their hands off each other once they started.  Eventually, they fell asleep completely wrapped around each other.  They slept soundly until dawn.  The first time that had happened for either of them since 1945.  

They were awoken at sunrise by Jamie jumping on the bed and tapping them.  “Daddies.  Santa’s been.  You gotta wake up.”  

Bucky and Steve opened their eyes and looked around blearily.  “Did Sarah actually sleep through the night?”  Bucky asked.

“It’s a Christmas miracle.”  Steve laughed, rolling out of bed.  He grabbed his pajama pants from the ground and pulled them on.  “Okay, Jamie.  Let’s go get your sister and see what Santa brought you.”  He said picking Jamie up off the bed.  He grabbed Bucky’s boxers from the floor and tossed them at him.

“Love you, Buck.”

“Love you too, Stevie.”  Bucky laughed.  

“Me too?”  Jamie said pouting.  

Bucky sat up and pulled his boxers on.  “Of course I do, champ.  Love you to bits.”

Steve kissed his son on the head and headed to the kid’s bedroom.   “Daddy’s happy now,”  Jamie said, looking up at Steve.

“He’s getting there, buddy.  He’s getting there.”