#i Am very slowly. Very Slowly. working on something that im not even sure i'll finish. but i am working on it. slowly

[zombieslab]

artblock is still beating my ass but it's hater duo thursday

[loverboybrightsideghost]

it's always good to have a break. i don't know how non-music college compares, but music school is A Lot Of Work, constantly practicing, rehearsing, playing. lots of homework. there's also the mental and emotional aspect; being an artist you need to separate your art from your sense of self and self worth, and it's pretty difficult sometimes. not to mention, it is a competitive field, so there's always wondering about how you measure up to others, auditioning, if you'll even get the job or into the festival or whatever.

the past two semesters have been rough for me, even though i had a great summer in between, it was a lot of change (not just bc of first/second year of school) in a short amount of time and a lot of that change was bc i wanted it and it was on my shoulders to work to practice to prove i can do it. and i did! i can! i still have a long way to go, but i can do it. i often think or worry i don't deserve to be here, but it's reassuring to know that 1) lots of other people, even people i look up, feel that way too and 2) i AM here, so enough people who know what they're doing think i can do it, and who am i to argue?

however, to my original point, it is good to have a break. i love music, and i would not be doing this if i didn't. but i think i really burned myself out this semester, and as soon as i was on break, i stopped practicing at all for like a week and a half, and then after that i practiced only a bit at the end of the day just to play my instrument.

what i've been doing instead is sleeping in a lot, watching a lot of tv and reading lots of comics, and also just Reading and listening to music. i've also been drawing a lot.

it's good to take a break. i am a musician, and always will be, but i am also a person who likes to sleep and eat and who is obsessed with superman and likes hanging out with my friends.

[syoounn]

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸ 𝐈 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮~ ¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

▪︎Saying "I like you" to bsd characters as they're your husbands.

▪︎Fluff!

▪︎Characters: Chuuya, Fyodor, Sigma

Part 2

Chuuya

Your husband just got home from work as trudges his way into your shared bedroom as you immediately hugged him.

He smile softly at your small gesture, wrapping his arms back to you and snuggling back and spoke.

"I'm sorry I was late, Doll. I got stuck at my work"

He leans up slightly as he kisses your forehead. He’s always done things like this. The gesture is sweet, but it always feels so right. You’re his, and so he makes this fact known as often he can. You smiled and giggling...

"I waaanna say something chuu~"

He looks up at you in curiously as his hand brushing through your hair

"What is it?"

You leaned in to whisper to his ear

"I like you~" you said as you giggled.

His smile grows as you whisper that to him. While he’d usually be annoyed by such sappy statements, he can’t help the flush that forms on his cheeks.

“You like me..?”

He turns slightly to catch your gaze, the corners of his mouth curling into a small smirk.

“Hm, I like you too.”

He said with the charming smile on his face. You can't help but fall in love with him again. Chuuya chuckles softly, his brows furrowing in what appeared to be a thoughtful expression.

“I suppose that’s a silly thing for us to even say to each other. I mean, we are married for god’s sake- It would be pretty shitty of me," Chuuya chuckles softly, his brows furrowing in what appeared to be a thoughtful expression.

"I still wanna say it", You said.

Chuuya snorts, then chuckles. His smirk becomes a smile as he looks at you adorably. “Then say it again. Go ahead.”

"I like you so much...!" you said proudly as you looked at him. Chuuya smiles brightly at this, not bothering to hide his blush anymore. Chuuya tilts his head to the side curiously, but he doesn’t pry any further. He knew that you would tell him the ‘why’ when you felt like it.

Instead, he wraps his arms around you tightly.

“And I like you.” As he said that, you both ended up cuddling and laying on bed and peacefully sleeping tonight.

Fyodor

You waited for your husband to come back home, as you heard the door and opened and immediately get up to see who it is..

"Greetings Myshka, Im back.."

You immediately rushed to go hugged fyodor as he returns your embrace, one of his hands resting on your back as his cheek presses against your hair.

" It's good to be back with you, May I ask favor?"

You smiled as you eager to tell him something silly and he knows... you're excited to tell him.

"I wanna say something first!"

You said excitedly, "Oh?" Fyodor hums, letting go of you and leaning against the nearest wall. "Go on, dear. Speak your mind."

"I like you..!" You said while smiling warmly.

Fyodor smiles, amused, as he looks down at you. "I am aware of that, dear. Why do you want to bring it up right now?"

"Nothing... just wanna say it to you..."

"Very well, I appreciate your directness, dear."

Fyodor chuckles. But then, something crosses his mind, and his grin drops. "However, I must ask you a different question. May I?"

You tilted your head on confusion, "Hm?"

"Please be a good girl and head into the bedroom for me, would you?"

You were more confused to a sudden request, "But it's too early.." You said as you were drinking some water.

"I believe it's about time we made our marriage... physical." He said gently as he looks rather serious...

"You will be an excellent mother, I am sure of it" He smiled gently.

You were shocked and choked on the water.. it was just all of a sudden as you were coughing.

"Ah.. Myshka, You should drink slowly... Now.. get prepared as I'll do my husband duty to satisfy you..."

Sigma

Your husband Sigma loved the most is his Sky Casino and especially you... the one who is currently cuddling him.

"My love, could i please get back to work?"

He asked holding you with a soft smile, while looking at you with the shy loving gray eyes of his.

"No... just five more minutes.." You said as you protest to let him go.

He chuckled softly to himself as he heard you protest, though he still kept his soft smile on his lips.

“You know our employees need my guidance right?” He asked while playing with your fingers.

“But don’t worry, I won’t be gone for long anyways…" He said softly while rubbing his thumb on your fingers. “Just let me go back to work and manage and in no time I’ll be back and I’ll make sure to kiss you all over!”

You finally let go as you spoke. "Fine but i wanna say something first!"

He then looked at you with curiosity waiting for something you have to say.

You leaned closer to his ear and whispered,

"I like you so much.."

Sigma’s cheeks immediately went hot right after hearing you confess to him that you liked him a lot. He couldn’t help but feel his heart beat a bit faster than usual. He smiled a shy smile as he processed everything you said.

“I…” He hesitated for a moment, trying to think of the right words to say but nothing really came up to mind. Instead of giving you a proper reply, he hugged you tighter against him as he rested his chin on top of your head.

You exactly knew how to make him flustered.. as you get up and giggling and leaving him flustered.

[tac-the-unseen]

JUST READ THE COD GANG REACTING TO READER FALING AN ORGASM SO WHAT IF READER ADMITS THEY NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE?????? LIKE- NEW RELATIONSHIP??????? SORRY FOR CAPS IM ECSTATIC RN BC UR WORK IS SO GOOD🫶🫶🫶🫶🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌

COD characters finding out that Reader's past lover(s) have never given them an Orgasm.

Am I exactly sure what Anon is asking? No, But I will persist.

I'm choosing to write this with the interpretation of Reader never having an orgasm even though they've had sex with others. (The other way I read it was that Reader just flat out never had an orgasm before, and I think that's extremely unrealistic. So we're going with that one) ALSO because of the prompt You and the guys have yet to bump uglies!

Ghost:

•Simon is a little confused "Like...None of them?"

•He takes it very seriously

•He asks you to elaborate a little more. He just wants to know if the other guys sucked (or just didn't in this case) or if you two needed to do something specific in order to please you.

•He understands if you need some kind of accommodations and will ask you what he needs to do

•You and Simon have a long discussion over what you want your first time with him to be like. He makes sure you both have a clear understanding of what's to come (ha).

Soap:

•First thing he says is “Would you like to?”

•He thinks it's a little funny but really sad too

•”Darling, you're too pretty to let subpar men just use you.”

•He immediately wants to show you how it's done and what you've been robbed off

•He asks if he can take you for a “good ol' mustache ride”

Price:

•”Young men are dumb.” He says and takes a drag from his cigar

•”But I guess it's nice to know I have no competition.” He smiles

•He does talk to you about your needs and what he needs to do to meet them properly

•He takes you out on a nice dinner date, goes on a nice walk with you, and end up with his hands wrapped around your waist taking you home

Alejandro:

•Can not stop laughing

•As soon as you tell him he erupts into a fit of giggles. He takes him a full 3 minutes before he calms down enough to hug you and pat you back.

•”You poor thing.” he chuckles and kisses your cheek. “I'll make sure to make up for all their failures, Mi querida.”

•He’ll ask you what they were doing down there the whole time. Which leads to even more laughter when you tell him.

•”But I think I should buy you a nice dinner first.” he winks

Roach:

•Stunned

•Absolutely floored

•”Like never?” He signs. You can see the horror in his eyes

•He’s got his head in hands, contemplating life. He's so concerned for you. He has to take a moment of silence to comprehend the level of incompetence the men in your life must have had.

•When he finally sits up he looks you directly in the eyes and signs “Thank God I'm good with my hands.”

Gaz:

•Slowly turns his head to look at you with his brows furrowed and confusion

•Is too shock to speak

•He gets up to pour himself some Scotch

•”How many times have you had to fake an orgasm?” “8” he proceeds to down the entire drink and pour himself another

•This time he hands it to you “You need this more than me.”

Rudy:

•He gets up and takes a lap around the house

•When he gets back he pulls you into a hug

•”You deserve so much better, Mi Tesoro.”

•Kisses your jaw and runs his hands down your back. “I can give you so much better.” He tells you in-between kisses

•He offers you himself until your properly satisfied, for however long that takes

König:

•”Why do you like incompetent men?”

•He means it in a genuine way, But he accidentally reads you to filth.

•”Why spend your time and affection on someone who cannot please you?” he asks. “I didn't want to seem shallow.” You replied. “Shallow? Liebste, No.”

•He practically scolds you for allowing such men into your life. It's actually the most you've ever heard him speak. Which really tells you how upset he is.

•”You're Lucky I'm here. I will not let such things happen ever again.”

•And fuuuck, he means it

Mace:

•”Other men are filthy animals.” he tells you like it was a normal thing to say

•He gets in close to you and rests his arms on your hips. “Don’t get me wrong, I'm a man whore.” He laughs lightly and kisses you “But you knew that.”

•He asks you for all the funny details and thinks it would make a decent bonding experience.

•He tells you about his less than great sex stories and failures

•”Rest assured sweetheart, I'm a pro at making people scream.”

Thanks for reading <3

(I realize now that I wrote them all in different mindsets of this prompt... Good luck with that, I guess)

[inferencesarchives]

Hello! Could you do Pure Vanilla Cookie x Fem! Ancient reader, whose kingdom is like a spiritual kingdom and The Reader Is just very stressed?? Like, very little time to eat, sleep, ect. How could PV maybe comfort her?? Have a nice day!!

`•- Time for Yourself

pure vanilla cookie x fem reader

summary: pure vanilla notices you haven't been acting like yourself lately. how does he help you feel better?

warnings: physical touch, pure vanilla is kind of a worry wart, also im not super proud of the writing on this one so im sorry if it's not as good as my other stuff :((

a/n: is it bad that when i went to the store today and saw pure vanilla extract on the shelf i thought of pure vanilla cookie

Pure Vanilla Cookie has noticed the lack of letters you've been sending him recently.

Of course, he knows that ruling a kingdom is no simple ordeal, and, of course, there's no way you would be able to send him a letter every day. However, despite that, you've always made sure to send him letters frequently and inform him of every nifty little thing going on in your life.

That is, up until roughly three and a half weeks ago.

You used to send him letters every four or five days to keep him updated on everything going on in your kingdom, and he always wrote back when he received your letters. However, when he responded to a letter you sent about three and a half weeks ago, you hadn't written anything back to him.

He found this behavior very strange, as you were always enthusiastic about being able to talk with him whenever you got the chance. Pure Vanilla Cookie was, frankly, getting rather worried about you and how you were doing. So, he decided to take a trip over to your kingdom to see for himself what was wrong.

When he finally arrived, Pure Vanilla Cookie was quick to stride towards your castle, making haste towards your office, where you spent most of your time. Gently knocking on the door, he quietly entered the room, as to not disturb you too much. He immediately notices your eyebags, the empty coffee mugs littered around your desk, and the way you don't even glance at him when he enters the room, thinking it was just some servant needing to ask a quick question or something of the like. Needless to say, when he spoke up, you immediately turned and stared at him in surprise.

"My Dear, has everything been okay lately?" He gently asks. "Ah! Pure Vanilla Cookie? What are you doing here?" You respond, shocked. You had no idea he was coming, you had no time to prepare, you didn't want him to see you like this.

"Are you alright?" He slowly walks toward you before draping his cloak over your shoulders, "You haven't responded to my letter for weeks, and you look awfully tired. How long have you been sitting here working today?" He looks at you with worry swirling in his eyes.

As you sit there failing to answer his question, he gently places a hand on your head and caresses your hair, sighing, "You need to remember to take care of yourself, you know. You can hardly handle this much work in the state that you're in. Why don't you rest for a bit?"

You look at him with tired eyes, attempting to provide a counter-argument, "I know, I know, but-" "No buts. You're going to go lay in bed and read a nice book to help you de-stress. I'll also fetch you some tea. Then, perhaps you can take a nap. You'll feel a lot better when you wake up," He suddenly picked you up, carrying you back to your bedroom before you can even say anything. Perhaps he was right though, as you were indeed doing a lot better the next morning. Perhaps self-care really is important after all.

a/n: not me writing a fic about self-care at 2 am when i haven't slept and i am in fact not taking care of myself lmao uhhhhhh i promise ill get some sleep once i finish up the rest of the requests i swear i pinky promise i swear

thanks for reading, and remember to take care of yourself! don't be like me lmao

[legy]

hi! i'm caelum. you might know me from @goldentruths-pod or from posting online. im in a financial quicksand pit and i really, really, really need help.

i'm disabled and receive approx ~$950 a month from social security. this has gone from "rough but survivable" when i first started receiving SSI to "i am literally not making ends meet" in 2024. right now my current status is that i am covering my basic needs but any kind of extra purchases are impossible. and the extra purchases i need to make keep piling up because i just can't afford them. some things i need include, in vague level of priority:

dolphin, my cat, is years overdue for a vet visit. this is going to be $300 minimum, possibly more because she has an adversarial relationship with the vet. she needs dental work done which they had quoted me as being $1500 but ive been putting it off for so long that i would not be surprised if that's more expensive too

i have learned today that my gold crown needs to be replaced. really unhappy about this one. it was a miserable experience the first time (everything that went wrong did go wrong, i'll spare you the details) but what is relevant here is that my insurance does not cover this and it was $900 last time. insurance also does not cover extracting the tooth either so that's cool. i have some time before this one is due (my next consult is in july)

my phone is approaching "unusably broken". i've had it for close to 4 years now. the call speaker no longer works (i can only use the phone on speaker mode) and it struggles to run apps or a web browser which makes things like GPS pretty dire. this would be like ~$100-$150 probably, i havent done serious phone shopping yet

my driver's license is expired and i need to get a new one. this was $110 last time. note i havent driven a car in years due to the disability but it's really valuable to have a universally recognized form of photo ID and ive already been hassled over it being expired

god this one is so embarrassing to get into but i had to flee my previous apartment last year due to it escalating into a DV situation. the other tenants did not pay the heating bill, which was in my name (and my dumb ass didnt close the account because it was the middle of february and i didnt want to freeze them to death) so i have a $250 utility bill in collections. i might be able to dispute or debt forgiveness this one but tbh ive been so fucking drained given everything else going on and also my phone barely works so i havent pursued it. especially since i can't afford to pay it if i cant challenge it

i would really like to have a passport again. my previous one was destroyed by my landlord in 2018 but even if it wasnt it'd also be expired now. not sure how much this one costs. likely $200?

my food stamps were slashed in half (covid emergency ending lol) and do not cover my food costs for the month so im paying like $150 a month on food that i didnt have to previously. i can maybe fix this one but im slowly losing my mind from malnutrition from trying to not go into debt and also eat. so i havent had it in me to go 1v1 welfare bureaucracy and possibly make everything even worse

my shoes are probably two months out from fully decomposing. they were $100 three years ago and id like to get something comparable given they lasted me this long

the rest of my clothes are also very literally becoming threadbare, falling apart, or are too big and keep slipping off. i legitimately feel embarrassed to go in public these days because i dress so shitty all the time

insurance doesnt cover my HRT anymore so that's $30 a month i didnt used to have to pay

im sorry this turned into such a ramble. i'm in such a bad way right now, i have been for quite a while and the dental work news is really just the final straw. i can't really have a fundraising goal because due to the SSI asset limit i can never own more than $2000. & i'm aware both that this is the poor people sending each other the same 20 dollars website and that there are people urgently trying to raise money to escape an active genocide. but i held off from making this post as long as possible & idk what else i can do

anyway if theres anything you can contribute to help me i would appreciate it more than anything. at the very least i need to do something about my tooth.

http://paypal.me/hivehum

[the-s1lly-corner]

Waking them up w/ a morning kiss! (TADC edition)

slowly but surely i am approaching the end of my tycoon... and yet despite the exhaustion creeping and making a home in my bones, i do not feel the desire to go to bed. perhaps its self destruction or carelessness, i'll be damned that this is the most productive ive been writing wise in a hot minute anyways requests are open

CAINE:

well this is assuming he sleeps... which personally, while i think the others CAN sleep (although they dont need to), i dont think.. caine can.. i think when he falls asleep its akin to how computers to. but one little tap is enough to snap him right back... so you may get startled when he snaps his jaws open the second your lips make contact with his teeth... but dont be alarmed...! hes not upset.. actually i think if anything he might be a little shocked at the gesture... oh he should have done it to you, damn it! definitely going to try to one up you that day, no one gets the jump on # 1 reader simp, Caine!!! 8/10 hes still very giddy and happy about it and hes in a good mood for the entire day

POMNI:

i think she might be a little too groggy to realize youve kissed her, but will flutter her eyes open if you give her another kiss. gets really red in the face before pushing herself deeper under the covers... i think shes generally like that with random gestures of affection and love, so please dont take this as her not enjoying the act! i promise she does like it, its just between this being standard reaction for her and just waking up shes a little... more bashful than she normally would be.. i think she would try to do the same to you the following day.. or maybe do a surprise gesture for you in return to even out the score! 7/10 very cute

RAGATHA:

as time passes i find myself making ragatha more and more of a sap, and honestly i dont hate the direction im going in. i think if you woke her up with a kiss, she would be smiling throughout the day and like caine, be in a more upbeat mood! its such a small thing to wake up to, but it means the world to her, you know? know these are starting to sound samesy with the 'returning the favor' thing but i think ragatha would at least double what you did for her.. you better incorporate the morning kisses into your routine because small stuff like that goes a long way for ragatha! 8/10

JAX:

i think he might just look at you before flipping over to face the other way and try to go back to sleep. its not totally to be mean to you and him being 'eeeewww affection' but mostly because hes not really.... a morning person. he never will be. kiss him all you want, hes not going to wake up... if he doesnt turn over, hes probably going to tug you to his chest and hold you still. probably grumbles at you to stop because he wants to sleep in that morning... but hey, look at it this way, you got some cuddling now! so hey at least theres some side of trade 5/10

KINGER:

i think he might nuzzle into your cheek and try to give you a 'kiss' back when he realizes what youre doing. pulls you to his chest, but he has full intent (unlike jax who mostly just wanted to keep you put and to make you stop moving around)... he may not have arms, but hes going to try his damndest to use his hands to keep you close... tries to push off the beginning of the day for a while longer... despite kinger actually being a morning person. leads to the two of you having a mumbled conversation about your dreams... very nice very sweet 8/10

ZOOBLE:

oh zooble is very much NOT a morning person, but i dont think they would be as mean as jax... they might mumble and tell you to hold back, but once theyre fully awake theyre going to set down some boundaries and apologize if they had upset you. they just dont like being woken up, no matter how sweetly... unless theres an emergency, they dont want to be woken up... though even then they might still be a little irritated... i think in this case swapping out morning kisses for something else that works better for both of you is the best course of action here 6/10

GANGLE:

i think she would lean right into it... maybe she wraps herself around you, if she hadnt already done that in her sleep... her mask is a little cold, so it might shock you a little and wake you up a lot more than you were expecting... oh i think gangle would feel bad about that... she didnt mean to make you uncomfortable (even though ultimately, youre not)...i think throughout the day she might be more happy and bubbly, perhaps even putting herself out more than she normally would. definitely a confidence boost for her! she even doesnt seem as sad or upset when her comedy mask breaks... i mean shes still... upset.. but not as much as she normally would be 7/10 very cute

[voidheartkisses]

Okay hello hi hello,

First off you're amazing and a gift to the world, I wish I had even half your talent. Your last piece blew my mind and I just HAD to ask,

How long have you been drawing/painting for? I imagine forever but I'm always curious how long it takes before artists reach these sorts of levels where it evolves into full-scale projects as opposed to smaller hobbyist crafts. There are so many beautiful art pieces on this platform as a whole and I'm constantly baffled by it all

Sorry if my excitement is off-putting that piece is heavenly and my mind is blown. Hope you're doing well!

Hi and thank you! That's a good question

So I've been drawing since I was born, but I've been drawing digitally for 8 years. I think in the very beginning most artists should just focus on having fun, you'll basically improve by default

after a while you will want to improve. It will be slow, but this is the stage where you'll recognize what you need work on

I'd say the turning point is when you've finally gotten far enough into your art journey without any sort of formal training (ie, a lot of artists dont learn the basics/fundamentals first, which is fine since most of us start as hobbyists) But I think learning them really did help me a lot. You start to think more about how light and shadow lays, depth, 3D objects, and more.

I highly recommend watching this video about levels of art, it's been really helpful and motivating to me throughout the years

This part is going to be long so you don't have to read it but I just wanna give my personal journey and how I got to now if anyone thinks it'll be helpful:

(2017) With digital art, I started off on ms paint and occasionally ibis paint x. Mostly using anime deviantart bases (EMBARRASSING), but after a while I developed my own style based on the people I was inspired by at the time, I was just happy to draw and didn't care much about improving at this time

(2019) The people you look up to artistically will naturally change over time (and thats okay), after a while I decided to switch to firealpaca, where I guess I got more invested on how light and shadows work, as well as making my characters look a bit more natural and develop my own style, your preference in aesthetic may also change over time which is noticeable here

(2021) Eventually, I began to lean more into semirealism (which isn't everyones preference and thats okay! realism shouldn't be the ultimate end goal of art) but I really enjoyed making stylized characters look 3D and in natural looking environments, since I felt it spoke to my own experiences, a lot of artists draw from real life experiences. I focused more on anatomy at this time as well as textures and environments, composition also became a big deal for me at this time, as well as wanting to use different colors

(2024) The change from LINEART to DIGITAL PAINTING in 2022 was the hardest for me once I switched to clip studio paint, it was basically like starting all over and I was so lost. I had a lot to figure out on my own but I knew it was a transition I had to make to draw the kind of art I wanted. But I began to study and take more things into consideration, I didn't like my art so I simply kept going "I can do better", learning from my previous mistakes and slowly making something I would be more satisfied with. At this point art felt more like "projects" then anything, because I wanted to make pieces that were of quality and had time and care put into each of them, sure it meant there was no longer much quantity. but hey that's what my smaller Cult of the Lamb lineart drawings are for!! 💙

I'm still growing and I definitely have a long way to go, but I am very proud of my progress this year, and I'll continue to grow until I'm satisfied (haha im stubborn) I also want to develop my secondary lineart style that I do when I'm not painting, since I feel that is important too

in short; time, practice, dedication, and passion are the most important, draw what you love above all else because it will be your drive to keep going, staying motivated was the most important for me

Sorry for the long post 😭

[jams-sims]

I wrote a whole ass essay for Philza now Im gonna do it for Jaiden. In defense of the lack of content with Jaiden in it (real quick). Being an old goat of fandoms I can explain it (don't worry this won't take long and also it plays into her character's overarching narrative of a grieving mother.) Plain in simple women in Minecraft are notorious for getting shit on by the collective fandom. (Everyone has to take part in making sure that it stops happening.) She is mainly a YouTuber which makes a dissonance between mainly youtube viewers and Twitch watchers. So it's harder to catch her just because you have to go to another site. Also, she doesn't stream as often as everyone else. This makes for a lack of content, just because Jaiden is just a low-key person. This is the recipes for a lack of content BUT that does not excuse people who are being weird to her or think she's in the way of any ships etc etc.

BUT

Narratively speaking all of those things above make for perfect storytelling. (below the cut I go deep into Jaiden character I mean I go DEEP)

Even though Jaiden has the support of the whole island. At the end of the day- she goes back to that same house. Climbs to the very top and she fall asleep on the chair facing the sunset. This means that everyone else has moved on, especially Roier. She is forever stuck in that same place.

I can't be the only one who noticed every single stream, she logs out at the house. BY HERSELF (I think Roier built? Someone corrects me if I'm wrong.) It's so subtle that you wouldn't even notice it at first.

When asked where she was living by Etolies. She doesnt say her and roier house, she doesn't even say where bobby use to live. She specifically says " I am squating in Roier old house". She puts herself on the outskirts of what is further from the truth. Shes not squating in roier house im 100% sure Roier shares everything with her. It is her home too!

Next when it came to the marriage between cellbit and Roier. She was surprised that she was even invite. Its as if as soon as Bobby died all her friendships and relationships died with him. No matter how many people are around her she has this ice wall of isolation and deep lonely-ness.

Her grieiving is less theratical than Charlies its so sudtle that you can miss it. While Roier throw himself into drink and into a relationship. (Which has admitedly worked out in his favor. He gets a husband a new son, a world of love. Something that can lessen the sting of Bobbys death.)

Jaiden on the other hand threw herself into a a impossible task, "protect the eggs." She doesn't know anything about any group or fractions. That is her only wish and the federation saw that and picked her to use. She has nothing everyone else has seemingly moved on of course. They haven't stopped investigating but they death of Bobby mostly everyone has moved on. Besides Jaiden this is her driving force so no one will suffer like she did. (on a side note her and Charlie should team up for lore and to both work for the federations.)

ITS PREFECT! Oh are you greiving has everyone else seemingly moved on? Your friendly neighborhood bear has a book full of instructions. Don't think, I'll guide you.

Before it fell apart the federation was going to secretly use Jaiden and she was going to do everything alone. But because Jaiden can't keep a secret to save her life. This leads to everyone realizing how at risk Jaiden is at being used. They are all with her in an instant. But part of her character is now that she sides with the Fedration and no one sees it yet. While everyone else think they are the bad guy. Her story is shifting because cucurucho is there, because cucurucho is nice to her, because Jaiden is cucurucho favorite.

She is being drawn in whether she knows it or not to be om their side. Think of it this way-

Fit is team: Spy thats off the island

Cellbit and Crew are team: AntiFederation

Jaiden the one that is left alone is the perfect choice to slowly pull her onto the federation side. It's perfect! The self isolation, the want to connect but feeling like she can't. It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of that.

[starker-raving-mads]

For You: Part IX

im so sorry this took so long but everyone can thank @madeforstarker for kicking me in the ass to get it done. Thank you, princess <3

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX

›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹›‹

Peter didn't see Tony for three days.

This was partially his fault. His initial reaction to The Bedroom Incident, as he was calling it, was to flee the entire building, his feet scurrying him to May's apartment early the following morning. He spent a good few hours with his aunt - something he didn't actually regret, though the reason for the new time together soured it a little for him - and when she left for work he left for patrol. It was probably his longest patrol yet, capping off at 6 hours, and while it felt good to stretch his muscles and help the people of Queens, his mind constantly drifted back to The Bedroom Incident.

He couldn't face Tony after that.

And yet he couldn't not.

After weeks of living in the penthouse, it felt like home. It was the only place he felt well and truly free and comfortable, and Tony being there just made it even better. Even with the - awkwardness that now surrounded them, surely they could get over that right? It's not like he'd said Tony's name. Out loud, at least.

So, exhausted and starving, he swung by a 24/7 deli and grabbed two sandwiches. They wouldn't be as good as Mr. Delmar's but Peter was starving so he'd take what he could get. He ate one of them on the walk home in his street wear, taking his time by taking a circuitous route back to Stark Tower. It was just delaying the inevitable but Peter couldn't bring himself to speed up the awkward conversation he was no doubt gonna have once he got home.

And yet, once the elevator doors opened and revealed the penthouse, no one was there.

"Fri?" he called.

"Yes, mom?"

"Where's, uh - where's Tony at?"

"Boss has been dematerialized and operating within the bounds of his cognitive digital space, which I am unable to access. Would you like me to get him for you?" she asked, tone colored with curiosity. Peter had to wonder what she thought of the situation, but also did not want to know. He could only imagine the leaps in logic she would make that would hit too close to home.

He dawdled around the living room for a little while before heading down to the labs, half expecting Tony to be there, blue and glowing and insubstantial but present and, for lack of better words, alive.

This was not the case.

Tony was nowhere in the confines of the lab. Peter sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, slowly making his way toward the elevator. He stopped before he entered it and turned around, speaking aloud, "I, uh, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I - yeah. I'll be around." He felt like an idiot speaking to an empty room but he wasn't sure what else to do.

He spent the rest of the night in the penthouse doing his online course work in silence. When he went to bed, he had Friday tell Tony just in case he wanted to know where Peter was, and then fell into a very tense and restless sleep.

The following two days were much like the first. Peter woke up, had Friday tell Tony what he was doing or where he was, visited his friends or May, patrolled, and did his online coursework. He'd come home, have Friday update Tony - not that she ever got an affirmative response - and he went to bed. He slept like shit, he felt like shit, and it was really starting to drain him.

On the fourth day, when he'd about lost his patience and his nerve, Tony finally popped into existence in the middle of the living room. It scared the hell out of him but he didn't do much more than look at the older man, dumbfounded and slightly stupefied.

"Tony?"

"Yeah, uh," the simulation ran a hand through his hair, messing it up in an impossibly cute way, "hi."

"Hi," Peter replied, lame as fuck.

They stared at each other in silence, brown eyes meeting blue ones, before Tony finally broke the tension.

"I'msorryforintrudingandseeingyoucum."

It was only Peter's enhanced senses that made the jumble of words make sense and he blushed immediately, grimacing and trying to hide it.

"It - uh, it's okay."

"It's really not, this is your place and I should give you privacy and I didn't and - " Tony paused, looking at Peter again. " - and I really should not know you have a daddy kink, kid."

"Oh god," Peter groaned, grabbing a pillow and shoving it over his face. "You heard that?"

Tony chuckled and it somehow broke the tension in the room despite the topic. "Kinda hard not to when you're all breathy and moaning. Plus," he shrugged, still grinning, "I have this kickass new memory since it all gets stored and fragmented and saved now."

"Please, please let's change topics before I pass out from blood loss," Peter begged. And, suddenly, everything felt right with the world again. This was their thing. Teasing and being teased, having fun and making jokes between all the serious stuff. It felt good, like a breath of fresh air after three very long, very lonely days.

Peter tried not to analyze what that meant for the future of his sex life.

Long and lonely, he sighed.

But, they moved topics like Peter had wanted, only to something he had not really expected.

"You what?" he asked, perplexed.

"I sent Pepper a Cease & Desist," Tony said as if it made any sense at all.

"How? Did you tell her you were - "

"Oh no, no way," the older man shook his head. "I figured neither of us were ready to pop open that can of worms. I sent it through Friday on your behalf - which," he grimaced, "I probably should've asked first, but what's done is done."

"It's fine, I guess, just - why?" That was what Peter couldn't understand. Why would Tony be sending C&Ds to his wife of all people? And on Peter's behalf no less.

"Listen, kid, I fucked up when I made my will - and before you start thinking it was about your part, it wasn't that," he cut Peter off when he saw the protest in his eyes. With a firm glare, he continued, "She had no right doing a lot of the things she did and is still doing. I had plenty of time in the last three days to think about it, analyze data, check on sources - it's amazing what having all that extra time I'd normally be sleeping can do - and I'm very unhappy with her, Pete."

"Just, why?" Peter asked again, feeling like a parrot or an NPC who had no other dialogue.

"She shouldn't have taken your blanket," the older man glared. "And she shouldn't have said what she did in that meeting room, or any of the tactics she's employed since. I know Pepper, kid, like I know the back of my hand," he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand. "That means all the good and the bad. I know that I loved her, or something like that - I must have, to have gotten married and had a kid and everything," he waved his hand like this was not a tremendous thing to be admitting. Might have loved his wife. Oh boy. "But she's taking my decisions out on you and it's not right and it's not fair."

"I don't - "

"If you say you don't mind, kid, I'm gonna figure out a way to kick your ass," Tony swore. "You matter, your persona matters to the public and the shareholders, your favorite things matter even when they're just blankets, and you matter enough to me to be able to see your own god daughter."

"I - thank you," Peter replied softly, curling into the couch with a not-as-cozy blanket draped over him. "I don't know what to say to that."

"Just accept it."

Peter chuckled. "I can do that."

A sweet smile was spread across the space between them, warm and something. After a moment, Peter asked, "So what exactly did your C&D say?"

"The majority of it was just getting her to stop her public and private attacks on you," Tony started. He sat on one of the couch cushions and it was weird seeing it not sink in with his weight. "There was a second petition as well, to get visiting hours with Morgan. I hope, uh," he looked truly nervous here. "I hope you don't mind. I really think you'll love her, Pete." His eyes were earnest as he said this, not really looking for acceptance to an apology that wasn't given. Tony wanted Peter to know his daughter and Peter wanted that too.

"Of course I will," Peter smiled. "She's part you, remember?"

[moose-muffin]

Lee Vox enthusiast? Aight bet.

The brain rot I have for this man is not even funny, he's so lee-coded I swear to god-

Probably the kind of lee that provokes their lers into wrecking them (both intentionally and unintentionally.) I.E refusing to let Velvette watch TV on him despite knowing full well she's feeling playful, or getting so worked up about Alastor people will do anything to make him shut up about it.

Height does not matter because he's way to easy to fluster, you could be twice as big or twice as small but the fact remains that he will crumble when his hips are targeted.

Definitely glitches out when he's being got good, might even get to see him flash through random channels if you can really get him going. Just be careful that he isn't too close to any electronics because he might fry them by mistake.

Accidentally caused a black out throughout half the Vee's building one time, it took a week to be fully repaired and Velvette still hasn't stopped making fun of him for it.

Spends 90% percent of his energy covering his face/stifling his laugh (and failing horribly)

I'd throw in some Radiostatic for flavor but I'm not sure how you feel about that pairing so I'll leave it at this for now lol-

Thanks for the excuse to ramble about the TV guy - 📽

ME CURRENTLY: 🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

THESE HEADCANONS ARE MAKING MY BRAIN DO LIKE CARTWHEELS AND BACKFLIPS I AM SO GRATEFUL RIGHT NOW!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THESE WITH THE CLASS <3

YOU ARE RIGHT THAT HE’S LEE-CODED!!!!! He is so Lee it’s actually crazy! We saw him at the end of Stayed Gone. That man was stomping his feet.. you KNOW he does that when he gets tickled too LIKEEEE IMAGINE OH MY GOD

THIS PART SPECIFICALLY WAS SO ACCURATE AND I AM OBSESSED. THE FACT IT CAN BE UNINTENTIONAL AND ALSO VERY MUCH INTENTIONAL LIKE WITH VELVETTE WANTING TO WATCH TV ON HIMMMM AND THEN TICKLING HIM TO GET HER WAY!!!!!! THIS IS WHY SHES AN ICON AND ALSO WHY VOX IS LEE MOVING ON

THIS PART IS ADORABLE. BIG SCARY ALASTOR DEMON VERSION OR LIKE VELVETTE BEING A LITTLE SHIT BECAUSE ITS SO FUN FOR HER <3 DONT THINK I MISSED THE TICKLISH HIPS COMMENT. UR SPITTING BARS CURRENTLY

GIGGLING AT THIS ONE!!! THE Flipping THRU CHANNELS!!!!!! IMAGINE HE JUST GOES FROM LIKE SOME COOKING SHOW TO A SOAP OPERA TO LIKE IDK MTV TO LIKE IDK IF HELL HAS IMPRACTICAL JOKERS BUT I HOPE THEY DO OR AT LEAST SOMETHING ADJACENT, REGARDLESS ABSOLUTE TOTAL SILLINESS (please tease him about it oh my GOD he would get so flustered)

THIS IS FUCKINF CRAZY AND I LOVE IT ITS SO CANON. VELVETTE LOVES BRINGING IT UP OR TRYING TO GET HIM TO EXPLAIN IT TO PEOPLE. HE DOESNT TELL THEM AND SHE HAS TO OF COURSE TICKLE HIM TO PROVE JUST HOW TICKLISH HE IS AND THEN TELLS THE STORY. He’s MORTIFIED but also a little flustered and blushy <3 god he’s so gorgeous

oh my god please PLEASE IF YOU HAVE RADIOSTATIC HEADCANONS I WOULD LOVEEEEE TO HEAR THEM!!!! IM SLOWLY BECOMING A FAN OF THEM (not that I wasn’t before, I was just kinda like “haha that’s a funny concept” and now the vision is clearer and im feeling feelings)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK <3 GENUINELY SO KIND AND SWEET AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORED EVERY SECOND!!! YOU HAVE A GREAT STYLE OF WRITING ITS SO FUN AND JUST WORKSSSS

[gayfrogtime]

(im not an anon but whatevs)

RANT TO ME ABOUT YOURSELF!!!111!!!1!1!11!11

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

oh wow, alright!

Don't mind if I Don't answer specific things

0, Height: 5' 2" 😭 Hopefully I'll get taller

2, shoe size: Usually about 8 in women's (6 in mens??)

3, 4, 5, smoke, drugs, alcohol: Nope, I am a Christian so I consider smoking and drugs a sin, and I'm a minor, so no alcohol for me.

6, age i get mistaken as: I usually get mistaken as a little older than I actually am

7, have any tattoos: I'm a minor, so no

8, want any tattoos: I do want tattoos. A cello, tree, maybe something with Christian symbolism? I'm not exactly sure.

9, piercings: I have my earlobes pierced

10, want piercings: Hell yeah. I want second lobes, industrial, septum, snake bites, and a million more ear piercings.

11, best friend: I have a lot. Many are on tumblr (yk who you are), but most of my best friends are in person (my partner, their twin, our friend group, etc)

12, relationship status: I am taken 💜

13, biggest turn on's: I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum, so that's a really good question. Just being really nice to me I guess?

14, biggest turn off's: my ex had a really ugly laugh and that annoyed me like crazy.

15, favorite movie: Howl's moving castle

16, I'll love if you: like this post. Because wow, this took a long time.

17 somebody you miss: I miss my cat who died a couple of years ago. Not somebody I've actually met, but my boyfriend's mom died about 4 years ago, and I wish I could've met her. She was an amazing person, and I know my boyfriend and their whole family miss her as well.

18, most traumatic experience: Things my dad has done over the years in general. Specifically things related to my gender.

19, a fact about your personality: Not exactly my personality (?), but I have misophonia. It's an anxiety disorder that makes it so I am triggered by sounds people make. For me, it's mainly eating and chewing noises. But I know that other people have other triggers. It developed for me when I was 9, but I think most people develop it around 12.

20, what you hate most about yourself: Where do I even start? Mentally, probably my anxiety and depression. Physically: I'm slowly accepting my body more, but I wish I was skinnier. My genetics aren't very skinny, so I'm never going to be super skinny. Mainly, it's just my double chin when I look down. Like I said, I'm getting better at accepting my body.

If you struggle with this as well, know that you're not alone. You're beautiful/handsome/whatever you prefer in your own specific way, and that fact alone is amazing.

21, what i love most about myself: I like that i'm pretty good at cello. I am first chair in my school's orchestra and I like that. The other day the choir director at my school specifically sought me out to compliment my playing.

22, what i want to be when I'm older: I want to be a nurse in a psych ward. I want to help people, specially suffering from mental issues.

23, my relationship with my siblings: My relationship with my brother (8-10 yrs) is a little rocky, he doesn't enjoy me being around/alive in general and most of the time, does his best to upset me. We do have good moments though. My sister is less than 1 year old, but I would say we're on good terms :)

24, my relationship with my parents: love my mom and (step) dad, they're amazing. I dislike my step mom, and my "dad" really, really sucks👍

25, my idea of a perfect date: Just hanging out and relaxing. Making food and eating it, watching a comfort show/movie, going on a walk, making something, literally just talking.

26, biggest pet peeves: people who chew loudly

27, a description of my partner: To protect his privacy, I won't disclose too much. He's really sweet (obviously). He likes musical theater and reading. He has short, curly brown hair and brown eyes. They're 5' 2" (same height as me). He has pierced ears and typically wears sparkly black stud earrings. He wears glasses. He's part Chinese.

28, a description of the person I dislike the most: bald, very dark brown long-ish beard and mustache. Wears black glasses and boring middle aged man clothes. Kind, work is pretty much a hobby for him, conservative/republican. (Guess who it is in the comments)

29, a reason I've lied to a friend: I have lied to my school counselor (who I consider a friend) about my sh, because she would have to tell my parents.

30, what I hate most about school: Just the anxiety inducing energy. It's very loud.

31, what my last text message says:

"SPAGHETTIFICATION??"

"That's how I want to die"

33: what words make me feel the best about myself: nice, kind, caring, amazing, beautiful, pretty, handsome, very boy.

34, what i find attractive in women: So I don't have romantic attraction to women, but I do think they're very pretty. Big/ Curly hair, grunge aesthetic, piercings, i think faux locs are really pretty on black women, confident, musician, raspy (?) Voice. I think fat women are super pretty, but i think all body types are beautiful.

35, what i find attractive in men:

I am attracted to men, so there might be more non-physical characteristics in here.

being a person with basic human decency, unlike my ex, curly hair, freckles, pretty, good style, not afraid to be femenine, piercings, musician, really sweet, willing to do corny and cute things.

36, where i would like to live: Norway I think?

38, my childhood career choice: Architect

39, my favorite ice cream flavor: Not sure. Superman reminds me of my childhood, but I like chunky ice cream, and sorbet.

42, what I ate last: candy cane

43 sexiest person that comes to mind immediately: my boyfriend

44: I'm a Christian

Anyway wowza, this took around an hour (?)

Have an amazing day people 💕

[russeliarat]

Older alters

Thought it'd be fun to share some of the alters from our system that have stuck around since childhood and don't really front anymore (with gatekeeper and admin alter permissions).

Grace! She was I think one of the first alters to originally split in our system from the core child. She was the caretaker and protector of the few alters we had at the time and did it pretty damn well it seems. She split around 2014 when we were still very very young, and acted as the responsible adult that cared for us since we had no adult to depend on or attach to.

This is Emily, one of our oldest, if not the first, persecutor alter in the system. She's also been around since 2014 in response to our childhood best friend beginning to go behind our backs and start bullying us. She went dormant a while ago but popped up in front recently to harass/stare down some headmates that were fronting.

Im not sure what his name is, apparently Whole can't quite remember it since it's been so long, but we call him N at the moment. He was an alter that formed to help us dissociate from paranoia and anxiety around being in vehicles but eventually became a general external caretaker and protector. He'd guide us on how to hide ourselves away during arguments between our parents a lot. From what I can remember very faintly, N was formed from dissociating in vehicles by imagining a ninja running down the street and not touching the floor.

We don't have an appearance to put to the name, but here is Adrianna. As a child, our host adored ice skating and Adrianna was borne out of a want to be something our family would be proud of after much degradation and humiliation from them. She used to be quite strong at sports too, however the last time she fronted when we went ice skating, our knees and ankles gave out and she became so depressed from not being able to skate that she stopped fronting all together unless triggered out.

Figure! It's an inhuman alter that formed from both trauma from hallucinations and intrusive thoughts, as well as being treated as inhuman for most of our lives. It's mostly harmless and skitters around. Most It's ever done is freak out some of our more arson-inclined littles into chasing it with a torch. As we've started to work on deconstructing our intrusive thoughts and grounding techniques, Figure seems to have calmed down its hyperactivity and acts more like a sad puppy dog in recent years.

Julianna, an alter that used to front as an ANP to help us express our emotions. Despite hyperfixating on very very dark media, she was such a happy go-lucky girl. I say used to because she's been dormant since 2022-ish. She made her own Instagram just to post artwork, which actually transitioned into our old art account as I slowly became host without realising. I (Russelia) have some stronger memories from Julianna, which leads me to believe I potentially split from her.

Prima! Another alter borne of wanting to live up to our family's impossible standards. She's also a very very very old alter since we did ballet at about 5 years old and even though we stopped shortly after, the passion continued for a very long time. I know very little about her but she does still occasionally front to do dance, especially more elegant dances like ballet or ballroom.

I'll finish by talking about Kitty, but this isnt all of the older alters by a long shot. She went dormant about 2021 as a fictive of a media I am unsure of, though came out of dormancy in 2023 after gaining intense amnesia and losing her source in turn. As of now (the end of 2024), she doesn't front often, but when she does, she's incredibly bubbly, energetic, and far too passionate about everything. She took some time in 2023 to learn about herself and forge a new identity.

[fabulousest333]

I hope this isnt trauma dumping or sm but i just needed to get this out and also get some advice and i think i really like ur advice. So i have been jn a relationship w my bf for 2 years now and i love him with my heart and soul and we plan to get married ( ee are still young but we see that as the futuregoal) so up tntil a few months back i used to just go to random s*x chat groups and something and would share my nudes nd just stuff like that and would also watch p*rn .. these are both things that me and my bf would a 100% consider cheating and if he did this to me i would kill myself out of sorrow. I absolutely hate myself and am disgusted at myself i was distracted for a little while with my exams but now they are over and now im crying all the time again just thinking about what i did to the boy i love the most. At the time i didnt think much of it and at first i would just talk w people but slowly i started sharing nudes and i did this a couple of times until i realized a few months back how wrong it is. I have no idea how i didnt realise how wrong this is?Up until this i was a really good person i dont think ive ever hurt anybody and i am very nice also but now idk i just hate myself and everything about me .Every day whenever i think aboyt this i cant help but cry and think there really isnt anything else i can do. Of course i have changed and wouldnt think of doing such a thing again but still the fact that i did it in the first place makes me want to die.

Ik its so selfish but i cant keeo thinking that he will do sm like this to me also and that ill get my karma. Does karma really even exist and how do i get myself to atop thinking this now i always suspect him of cheating and talking to other girls. Hes done sm similar to cheating to me but nothing on this level. What he did is nothing ckmpared to what i did.

And in the context of manifesting, should i manifest that none of this ever happened and for me to be a really nice person or shoukd i manifest that this completely gets erased from my memory or what?? This also messes up my manifestion so much i cant helo hut tell myself that i dont deserve good things as im a bad person . Please help. If youre not comfortable answering this then im sorry for wasting ur time

in the future as a boundary I'd prefer to only answer manifestation questions without trauma dumping, so I'll be ignoring any from now on, but it's totally okay as you didn't know ❤️

as for manifestation you can revise, or shift if you'd like! both are easy. revision is changing the past, and all you need to do is say the new story of what happened in your past and the 3d will conform.

as for shifting there's lots of methods you could use, but I'm not an expert so I'd seek advice elsewhere.

and finally telling yourself you're a bad person can't mess up your manifestations, nothing can if you say so. I'd work on your self concept outside of manifestation just to help you feel better about yourself, mistakes are a normal human experience.

personally I don't believe in karma, I'm sure you won't be affected. you can use protection subliminals or spells if it's giving you stress.

good luck!

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

hello aspecs i have a question. how do i tell my long distance boyfriend that im on ace spectrum/have trauma/both? we got together just the other day when we got to see each other irl and before that we spent a year doing 5-hour discord calls talking about anything really. i have pretty much no filter so he’s informed about some of my mental health struggles and successes. i consider myself sex-neutral and i don’t mind suggestive jokes, however now there is some expectation behind them.

so, on one hand since we’re long distance and wont be able to meet up irl for a while it’s not a pressing issue, i can always deflect/laugh it off/etc. on the other hand, i want to communicate that i am very slow in the intimacy department due to reasons stated above as soon as i can. (btw we’re both queer but in a straight-passing relationship) please send help

Yeah, these things can be hard to talk about. One thing that helps people sometimes is don't be afraid for it to sound awkward, focus instead on what do you want him to know or understand. So this can include things like if you need any boundaries, possible triggers, what he should expect (such as needing to move slowly with intimacy for example), what about your trauma do you want him to know, if you need anything from them, etc. And just start, just say something like 'there's something I want to talk about' and just go.

If can help sometimes to write out what you want to say beforehand too, or even practice saying it out loud. (You can even send an email if that's what you're more comfortable doing.) One of the big advantages to writing it out first, even if you don't share the written version is that you can come back to it and make sure everything you want is there, and referto it for future conversations.

You don't have to tell him everything all at once either, this can be a series of conversations where you can open up slowly if that would be easier for you (though of course if getting it all out at once is what you feel would work better for you, that's good too).

It can also help to take time to figure out what you don't want to share, just because you're dating someone doesn't mean you have to tell them everything. It can help to figure out ahead of time where you're going to say 'I'm not ready to talk about this yet' or 'i'm not comfortable talking about this part' if you get asked about it.

It can also help to encourage him to ask questions and try and encourage communication and discussion in general. (But of course remember to enforce any boundaries you need.)

I'll also invite followers to throw in their own advice/thoughts/experiences if they have any.

All the best and good luck!

[darkphoenix07]

When your boss has a little surprise for you in his cabinet

Paring : Yunho x Reader (Im Johwa)

Synopsis: This is a peak from my Wattpad book, Conflating Arousal. It is an enemies to lovers book in which Yunho is the CEO and she is his employee. Fate brings them in this position where they can't take their hands off each other.

Warning : Mature content.

It's almost eleven and my friends had abandoned me to rot here with Mr. Jeong's cabinet open, me working non-stop without a single break.

I'm sure that everyone has already left the office without me and him. I am having a bad idea of grabbing his collar and asking me why he is doing this to me but I just can't do that. We have no relationship in-between us, we never had one. I can't even put blame on him, he is suffering a lot more than I am.

I sense him staring at me time by time and I do the same when his eyes drop. I don't know what type of game it is but I don't like it much. I don't want him to eat me up with his eyes when he has two capable hands and mouth to do so.

Suddenly he calls me in his cabin and I almost run hoping he will talk to me, he will pull me closer and apologize. He will speak about his heart and break into my arms while I'll pour all of my love on him.

"Yes, Mr. Jeong?" I ask him, my heart thudding.

"Make me a cup of coffee without suger," he says not even looking at me and I think I cursed out too loud because he looks at me frowning making me embarrassed as hell. Why is he frowning?

"Sure," I tell him before running away.

I put everything in the cup one by one feeling my blood boiling up. He is a menace, I hate him so much. Maybe I should spit in the cup too, no one would know. Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?

I keep the coffee cup on his table and start leaving but slowly thinking he will say something, do something. I know he wants to then why doesn't he?

I look down and keep walking ahead feeling hopeless but suddenly my head hits something hard and broad. As I look, I see a white shirt, body soaked in sweat. How is he sweating in this weather? The temperature is very low outside right now.

I look up and see him locking the door of his cabin as he looks at me with burning eyes, like there is a threat in those, like he is my predator and I am his prey. He starts walking towards me but I can't help, I keep backing off.

None of us talk until my feet stop automatically without my back hitting anything and in a blink, I feel those soft lips of his mine, his hands in mine as he spins me, pins me against the wall, sliding my hands upon my hand pinning on the wall.

I kiss him like I was wanting to, like I am giving him access to every part of me. He is kissing me like he is joining every part of me that he broke some while ago.

I missed his sweet delicate scent, I missed those lips, the taste of his tongue twirling with mine. I missed everything he does to me, the way my heart screams for him and my mind blows up for his touch, I missed all of it.

I know I am stuck with him tonight and I don't quite mind it.

As he releases the kiss, he licks his lips before pulling me in his arms, walking towards his desk. He places my body on his office desk moving everything that is keeping me away from him.

"Spread your legs for me," he demands and I obey like I've never obeyed someone else, his voice is so deep, it reaches every cell inside of me.

He stands in-between my legs and keeps staring at my eyes, his piercing gaze stabbing my heart again and again. He does nothing, he keeps staring at me like he hasn't seen me for a decade.

"Do you know what I am going to do to you right now?" He asks as if I am no already ready for him to do anything he wants to.

"No," I lie smirking with my soft gaze.

He chuckles before pulling me closer squeezing my hips, "I am going to ruin your pretty little body while you will scream my name, begging me not to stop."

"Fuck yes," a moan already leaves my mouth as he keeps his dirty talks, "What else?" I ask him whispering licking my bottom lips as my eyes fall on his lips.

"I'm going to make you taste yourself," he says as he simply unbuttons my blue velvet shirt.

"And?" I ask again as he finishes, his eyes glowing and are on my chest now.

He pulls down my half padded black bra and takes my right breast in his mouth, sucking, nipping and licking, he says, "I'm going to mark you."

"I tho-ought no one is marking me anymore," I say grabbing onto the desk for my dear life.

I see him smirking as he kisses in-between my chest before saying, "No one is marking you but me," this was his last sentence before devouring my lips again while his firm hands cups my breasts, playing.

His lips get down from my mouth to my chin and reaches on my neck kissing, sucking. My neck is his favorite place, he makes sure of it making me cry for more. I tremble under him again for the third time but this time, he cups my face, "Don't close your eyes, keep looking into my eyes," he leaves my face and I feel hands on my thighs, sliding under my skirt, one of his hands reaches inside my inner thigh then parts my thong slowly, gently.

I gasp for air grabbing his hand but he never breaks the eye contact as he finds me being wet for him to touch me, to make me lose my mind. More of some files have fallen from his desk because of me moving like this continuously.

I squeeze my legs but he parts them with his another hand, "Don't you dare close them. Keep looking at me," but looking at him isn't easy when he is rubbing my clitoris continuously making my leg shake in shiver. His fingers are so long and thick, I can feel him on my fold, they fit perfectly.

My breathing is so heavy and my grip on his hand and the desk is unbearable.

I feel something building inside my lower stomach, it is getting down slowly, painfully as he is moving his finger faster with each stroke.

"Fuck, I-I can't do it anymore," I tell him trying to push his hand away though I don't want to.

"No, you can," his deep, raspy voice echoes in the room with the wet noises.

I think I am going to faint with the heavy feeling. It feels so fucking euphoric and I think I haven't needed anything else more than that.

"W-what if someone comes?" I ask him not knowing how else I can stop him.

"Focus on me only right now or I'll slap your pretty little pussy, do you understand?" He says touching his forehead with mine and I nod, I'm breathless right now.

"Mr. Jeong, God... I'm losing it," I tell him bucking my hips for more.

"Look at the clock," he orders again.

"What? Why?" I frown but seeing his face, I look at the clock.

"What's the time?

Why is he asking me?

"11:59 a.m....sorry p.m." Suddenly I feel a thud and my forehead falls on his chest as I make a mess on his finger cumming all over, "Fuck, yes, yes, yes," my last yes sounds so faded in my own throat.

I can hear the clock ticking when Mr. Jeong whispers, his lips touching my earlobe softly, "Happy Birthday."

I am stunned hearing him and tired from the release. I don't understand what just happened. How did he know today is my birthday? I didn't even know.

I look at him slowly, "What?"

"I said," he kisses my cheek, "Happy Birthday," and smiles like a way I haven't seen him in my whole life. His smile is so fascinating and the faint dimple. God, he has a dimple? It's so fucking beautiful. I am losing it more and more.

For your kind information, I want to tell you my Wattpad account is mistyyhoriizon

I wanted to write this book here but that would be so long so I thought of writing on Wattpad. If you are curious you can find me in Wattpad ❤️ thanks for reading.