#hyune will always be there when everything else sucks

[hyunpic]

240819 hynjinnnn instagram live [*the mark on his arm is from manual therapy]

[astraystayyh]

Say yes to heaven

hyunjin x reader. seven minutes in heaven except you're heartbroken and hyunjin has a huge crush on you. angst and softness and slightly suggestive in the end.

cw: mention of drinking alcohol and cheating. reader has lipstick on.

part 2. say yes to me

Hyunjin's legs are aching from sitting crisscrossed for so long. The music reverberates loudly, bouncing off the walls in Changbin's house. You are all playing truth or dare, a gathering of twenty people or something. But he isn't keeping count of anyone around. His eyes are fixated on you.

You are downing your drink, nudging Chan's side so he'd pour you another shot. He understands why you feel the need to forget, to fog up your mind until the world around you blurs. Your ex Suho, the one you had just broken up with two weeks ago, is kissing someone else, right in front of you. Hyunjin doesn't care enough to see who it is, his heart clenching at the sight of the tears brimming in your eyes.

You are hurt, rightfully so. Hyunjin never understood why you've ever dated Suho. He never cherished you, never treated you the way you were deserving of. Because you were beautiful, so beautiful it rendered Hyunjin putty in your hands. Though that was merely the surface of everything captivating about you.

The bottle is spined again, and Hyunjin's breath catches when it lands on him... Then you.

"Seven minutes in heaven!" Changbin shouts and you roll your eyes, before standing up and heading first into the closet. Hyunjin follows closely behind.

He closes the door, plunging you both into pitch darkness. Your hands find his arms suddenly, gripping them tightly.

"You okay?" he asks, concern dripping from his tone.

"It's really dark," you whisper, and Hyunjin's brows furrow further.

"We should leave," he suggests, moving to open the door but you pull him back. "No, no. Let's stay."

"But you're scared."

"It's okay. You're here."

"Is this about Suho?" Hyunjin asks tentatively, after a few silent beats, and he can hear you suck in a deep breath. He knows he just hit a sensitive chord.

"Yes."

One.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," he whispers, placing a reassuring hand on your back.

"Save it. I won't make out with you," you reply, sudden anger lacing your words. Hyunjin understands it's just your walls being put up so he wouldn't dare peek behind them.

"I know," he says softly, and your hold on his white shirt tightens. You're both so close, his chest is almost pressed to yours. Can you hear how wildly his heart is beating?

"Fuck, I'm sorry Hyune," the nickname slips from your mouth, sweet and familiar. He missed hearing it. Missed what you had before Suho came into the picture. "I'm just really really hurt," you admit, tears glistening in your eyes.

"Do you want me to fight him? You know I would," he tries to keep his tone soft even though raw anger simmers within him.

"You don't even know what he did," you chuckle weakly and he shakes his head. "He made you cry. That's enough for me."

Two.

You stay silent, but your forehead rests on his chest, as slight tremors shake your body. Your wound was still so fresh, and seeing Suho tonight only made matters worse. But Hyunjin's body is warm, and his arms tightening around you feel safe. You think you can face your ex again if he's by your side.

"Please don't cry," he says, hands reaching up to smooth down your hair, as his chin rests atop your head. He's so gentle with you, so sweet, more than Suho has ever been in your relationship.

"I'm sorry, this isn't what you signed up for," you apologize, but you can't find it in you to pull away. Instead, you wrap your arms around his waist, drawing him nearer to you.

"It's okay. This is nicer." You can't see him, but you can hear the smile in his voice. His smile is always so pretty, and his perfume is making you dizzy. You've drunk too much.

Three.

"How have you been?" you ask, fingers drumming gently along his back. Hyunjin doesn't know how he managed to speak normally to you up until now. Not when you've intoxicated him, when all he could feel in this cramped up space was you.

"Good," he finally manages to say. "And you?"

"I'm good. I missed you," you admit, and his heart seems to pause within his chest.

"You're drunk," he dryly chuckles but you shake your head against his chest. "I know what I'm saying. I'm sorry for taking my distance these past few months. The truth is... I didn't have enough energy to be a good friend, it was draining me to deal with Suho."

"Don't apologize. There is nothing to forgive."

"You promise me?"

"I promise."

Four.

You're full-on hugging now, arms tightly intertwined around one another, and hyunjin thinks this is his heaven- to bury his head in your hair, to smell the sweet scent of your shampoo.

"You smell nice," you mumble, cheek resting right across his chest. "Why is your heart beating so loud, Hyunjin?" you ask curiously, eyes closed.

Hyunjin thinks if he stays silent enough, then you'll forget you've ever asked. Because he can't bring himself to lie to you.

"You smell nice too," he settles on saying. "You look really pretty too."

"Thank you, Hyune." That damned nickname again. "I think... I think you're making my heart beat faster too," you mumble and Hyunjin shuts his eyes closed. You are killing him, stabbing him, and twisting the knife deeper inside his heart. And he's allowing it because it's you.

Five.

"Why do you think he cheated on me?" you ask, voice barely audible, and Hyunjin has to try his best not to storm out right now. He had guessed it was bad, but not this horrible.

"Don't. Don't ever think it was your fault. It wasn't. It could never be. It was his," he speaks the words firmly as if trying to drill them into your mind, erasing every wrong belief you held about yourself.

"Do you mean it?"

"I do," he leans away, cradling your face between his hands. He's so gentle. his voice and his touch and his existence. How could one be so gentle to you?

"You are everything someone would ever dream of. If I were him I would..." he cuts himself off, before saying something stupid; something that would tip the scale of your friendship.

"Finish it, finish what you were saying," you plead, voice shaky and he can't find it in himself to say no.

"If I were him, I would never let go of you. I'd do everything, anything to make myself worthy of you, of your love."

Six.

"Can I try something?" you ask tentatively, and Hyunjin feels as if the world stopped spinning around him. The outside world doesn't exist anymore, all he knows is you.

"Yes," he whispers, voice raspy, and you nod. Your shaky hands reach up to trace his face, cupping his cheeks gently. You're standing on your tippy toes, and Hyunjin can feel your breath fanning over his skin, feel goosebumps burst across his body. And then, the most tender kiss, placed on his cheek.

Your lips linger, pressing into his skin and marking it up for eternity. His hands find your sides, they're trembling, but they're warm and they feel nice to you.

You gulp, before kissing his cheek again. And then, you trail down, your lips finding the corner of his mouth. Hyunjin's knees buckle underneath him. It's too much, colorful dots cloud his vision and he hasn't even drunk anything.

Your hand curls around the nape of his hair, and then you brush your lips against his neck, slowly, deliberately, as if testing the ways in which you could drive him insane. You've succeeded, he wants to say. He's yours to do anything you want with.

Seven.

"Time's up!" Changbin's loud voice rings outside of the closet, and it snaps you both out of your haze. You stumble back, fingers brushing tentatively across your lips. It feels as if your entire body is on fire, even though your kisses were innocent, tentative. But you're feeling more than you've ever did with Suho.

"Hyunjin, I-" The door pulls open, sudden light flooding your vision. You can finally see the evidence of your kisses- crimson imprints on his cheek, trailing down his neck, giving way to a flushed chest. He's so pretty. And you've marked him up for everybody to see.

"We'll talk later, okay?" Hyunjin smiles, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"Okay."

Seven minutes felt like seven lifetimes for Hyunjin. And he'd live them all with you, love you in each if you'd let him. He'd do anything so you'd let him.

⁀➷✧･ﾟ

part two

[hyunverse]

hehehehe ur cute. i’m so happy to hear ur day was good :)). i cry at movies too 😔. this is so embarrassing but i legit cried at the end of the sonic movie like the 2020 one … IT WAS JUST A SOFT ENDING OKAY 😔😔😔. I COULDNT HELP IT 😔😔. SAME grocery shopping is smth i always look forward to. i swear the cereal section is the best bc it’s just so bright. like everything else has such bland packaging and then the cereal section is just boom color and happy characters and cute logos like it’s just the best. THEY HAD MY FAVE PASTRYY it’s called spanakopita and it’s soooo yum. it’s a spinach and ricotta blend in this rly flakey pastry it’s so so so good. same i love them all sm. andddd let’s just say the dogs here are definitely city dogs so they’re a lot more immune ….? to odd things …? and to doing odd things ???? and their owners just aren’t even phased it’s so strange 😭

LMFAO ITS TRUE THEYRE LIKE DORITOS 😭😭 yep ik exactly what ur talking about and it’s perfffff. nothing better than some nice collarbones too. they look so delicate and kissable gahhhh. hyunjins make me dizzy. sooooo delicate and longgggg he’s so <333333333. victor 100% unreachable visual who is the blueprint. howl pendragon can come into my life and ruin it rn now pls. talk about perfect man ?? like yes bring him here pls 🙏🏼. LIKE AN ERASER 😭😭 UR LITERALLY RIGHT BC WHY R THEY SO HUGE ?? i love it tho hehe

ohhhh okay yes that makes sense, that’s so cool to think of. all the fast food in america sucks tbh 💔. i’d much rather mcdonalds from another country than whatever we have. every fast food thing here is just … boring. and expensive now so you’re better off just going somewhere else yk ? agreed i don’t customize my orders ever, but i do like to add cold foam to my coffee hehe. it’s just so rich and creamy and delish. and the machines are always “broken” bc they just don’t want to clean it 😭. they’re a pain to clean so i understand but if i want a mcflurry, i want a mcflurry 😠. andddd now i’m craving pandan leaf chicken as well <///3 so smokey and delish grrrr i love food

HYUNJIN DOES FLIRT THROUGH DANCING OMFG. he’s so perfect i actually get frustrated. like i don’t understand how someone can have that many ideal qualities and just exist. how does he live w himself knowing he is the IDEAL MAN ?? IDEK WHAT ID DO W MYSELF. FELIX IS DEFFF ACTING UP. but seeing this confidence on him is so attractive 🤭🤭🤭. i feel like that’s another thing that makes hyunes dancing so attractive bc you can tell he’s so content while doing it and how all of his moves are so articulated GAHHH i could watch him dance all day. imagine dating him and just being able to watch him practice ?? him winking at you in the mirror every now and then ohhhhh i’d pass out

i hope ur sleeping well my pretty 💗💗 kisses 4 uuuuu

- 🐈‍⬛

sonic movie??? ive never heard of anyone crying over the sonic movie T_T then again i cant judge because ive never watched it. dw bae, i cry over soft endings too. we have issues and its ok!! tbh i cry over fluff more than i cry over angst. it's just that i get so overwhelmed by the love, that it makes me sob yk? i sound insane, dont i </3 whats ur fave cereal? i love the milo crunch cereal, tastes like milo but make it cereal!!! and i googled spanakopita and omg. . .it looks mouth-watering. gonna attempt to find a place which sells them here. talking abt pastries, 'm going to a cafe with my mum tmr for breakfast, so im looking forward to that!!

anything abt hyunjin makes me dizzy tbh. the recent dancing vids of hyune 😵‍💫 hes out to get me fr fr. management pls make him stop body rolling on stage bcs it makes me sick!! (pls dont i love it when he does) HOWL IS SO PERFFFFFFF. THE MAN! i could talk about the plot of howl's moving castle for hours. i love the plot twist, how howl has been searching for sophie for years. thats true love right there! also jeongin hand pics has been all over my fyp come save me!! save me from this monstrosity.

the american slander 😭cmere bae i'll take u to a mcdonalds 🙏i'll give you all the mcflurrys you want. its always available here <333 now im craving for an oreo mcflurry omg... and pandan leaf chicken zzz

STOP FEEDING INTO MY DELUSIONS, MY LOVE. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING SUCH THOUGHTS INTO MY HEAD? i want hyunjin to give me a private show (not in an nsfw way i swear) he looks so enchanting on stage, i'd love to sit in front of him, alone with him and just watch him dance. he puts so much thought and emotion in his movements, it's amazing how he could do that all while ensuring every move is precise. making it all look easy is also one thing. oh the winks would be the death of me. i feel like he'd cling on u right after too <333 will ask for lil reward kisses after practise <3 did u see the vid of felix lifting his shirt up to make people scream for muddy water? hes in his hot guy and he knows it era. love it for him 🙏

also, today, seungmin and felix went live. i got to watch it and it was so chaotic T_T it was them attempting to make candy but failing at doing so </3 i mean what did we expect from them tbh.

hope ur day is going well, sweet darling. thousand of kisses for u <333!!

[hwan-g]

DADDY ISSUES. —BANG CHAN; 🚬

pair. soft dom! chris x f. reader | genre. lovers to friends, roommates, heartbreak, hurt/comfort, smut | warnings. profanity, angst, alcohol abuse, anger issues, mentions of cheating, attempted su!cide, toxic relationship, unprotected sex, filthy talk. | word count. 6.9k

tags. @ughbehavior (@straywrds), @cb97percent, @hyuneater, @lix-ables, @hellishmoons, @hyun-bun, @skz317cb97, @danyxthirstae01, @choigore, @j-0ne25.

a/n: hi lovelies! popping in to say this story is heavy, read the warnings before proceeding. if any of you need to talk, my dm's/inbox are always open. the national su!cide prevention lifeline for the u.s is 1-800-273-TALK. i love you, you're not alone. ♡

synopsis. what can Chris say about you—you’re his girl. he’d do fucking anything for you.

You were driving him insane.

Your cunt, they way you felt around his dick, your nails scratching on his back, the arch of your back—but your fucking voice. His name coming from your mouth, your perfect fucking lips, that tongue that knows how to wrap around him, lick him just right to get him painting your face in hot, sticky white. He’d cum time and time again for you—would bury himself inside your sweet folds every single goddamn day of his life, forever if he could, if you let him.

But you don’t. You let him rail you, fuck the absolute shit out of you, the harder the better, your hand, that fucking hand, fuck him, always guiding his own around that pretty neck, pleading with those devil eyes, daring him, sending him over the edge, making him want to kill you with how much he craves you, how much he wants you, wants to have you again, always, if you let him, only if you fucking did, and he’d show you, you know he would, because no one could fuck you better than him.

And it’s not for lack of trying. ‘Cause that’s the fucking truth, isn’t it—he fucks you; you fuck literally anyone else. Every other goddamn motherfucker out there that gives you even a smidge of attention, promises you words and free drinks, takes you to expensive hotels, reservations booked under false names, room service on the tab, that sort of thing. Chris could never do that, right, not anymore, because you forsook him, you chastised and threw him away when he got too close, yeah?

Even though he was your first, even though that hole of yours belonged to him first— he was the one that found you first, claimed you first, had you screaming for him, daddy, daddy please, right there, oh, please touch me right, there—it’s still clear as day in his mind, how he made you come for him, on his fingers, on his cock, on his tongue, Christ, over and over, his good girl, his baby, so helpless, so needy all the time, for him, for everything he could give you.

But no more of that. You were all grown now, weren’t you, you had no need for him anymore, he’d taught you everything there was, you’d sucked him dry, and moved on to bigger and better things, didn’t you? Now he was an afterthought, a quick fuck when you felt like it, when you were too tired to go out, and he was there, ready and waiting for you, always waiting, always getting the short end of the stick, always the crumbs.

And still, he accepted every time. Because it was you, because at least you were coming back to him, at least you still wanted him, because he could have you, even like this, even on the A.M, even if drunk, in one of your moods, where he doesn’t know if he should hold you down so you could let it all the fuck out, finally, at long last, or just fuck it out of you, take it by force, bury himself in all of your sadness and drown.

You could dance circles around him. You could point a gun to his head, and he’d swear you loved him with all of your tartar fucking heart. You did, love him. You loved him in a way he would never understand, in the same way you loved your father when you saw the suitcase in his hand, door open, leaving, leaving, leaving—

You loved him just enough to keep him around. You loved him like a field burning. But he could never know. The moment love reveals itself, it is no longer a mythical thing, it holds no substance, no magic spell. It shrivels up, and it dies. Chris could never know—he would never know.

When you broke it off, when you gave him the ring back, those same Satan eyes dry, cold, a freezing winter to his scorching sun, middle of July, he proposed your arrangement in a desperate attempt to keep you with him, close to him; so, you wouldn’t walk out on your relationship, whatever would remain of it, leave him entirely. It was a selfish bargain, a man sentencing himself to death by hanging, but there was nothing else—you’d left him with no other choice.

He never expected you to agree. Never expected the look you gave him. A truce between lovers, a friendship that could only be the result of having entered one’s soul, of having seen who they are in intimate ways. Roommates, then, and he helped you move out of your shared bedroom to the guest room, the one your mutual friends usually crashed in after a party, exhausted and drunk. In the same way he’d fall asleep all those nights after you put yourself in a different space, a space away from him, so close but so fucking far away, so he’d never touch you, so he could not whisper to you anymore.

And then came the visits after hours, the sliding under his covers, the ghost of you, only real as far as the bed stretched, only allowed for a short while, enough to get what you wanted, and then gone, just as fast as you’d come. Chris gave himself away to you every fucking time, because he was foolish; because he looked for you everywhere, because he drove himself wild with jealousy when you weren’t home, because he’d wait, and wait, and wait, until the sun rose again, until he’d hang from the couch heavy with sleep, his eyes remaining stubbornly open, staring at the door, staring at his phone, staring at your jacket hanging from the coatrack, wondering if you’re warm enough, if you’re safe, if you’re fucking alive—

Hours and hours of obsessing over you, cursing himself for ever suggesting this; this half death, this swallowing of heart, drinking himself oblivious just so the clock would melt away and shut the fuck up, the ticking of it turning into nothing more than a faint buzz in the background. You were out doing God knows what, probably fucking other men, and what about it, right, what was he supposed to do, he was nothing to you now, no boyfriend, no fiancé, no love of yours, nothing solid he could grab on tight and hold onto—a mere roommate. He could fucking laugh.

He's saved you from yourself, helped you through grief; all music is you, everything he writes, composes, fucking arranges—all is you, filled with you, thoughts of you, your scent, your cunt, the way it clenches around his cock, the way you unravel for him, his angel, his girl, his girl, his his his— but you’re someone else now, aren’t you? And Chris, still here, on standby until you come; one glance from you and he’s back to life like usual, like you hadn’t pressed pause on him, like he’d been working perfectly fine all along.

It was enough to drive him to addiction. And it almost did—booze eased the pain of you, helped him sleep. A known insomniac, someone that has been working in the dark for most of his adult years, someone that needs help from pills to go to bed, otherwise he’d carry on through the haze of days, slowly turning mad, paranoid with deprivation. Oh, he was broken too, long before you, and there was no fixing that. That was to stay with him for the rest of time. In consequence, his brain was rewired, worked different than others’. There was no hope—the sky was a ceiling and it had collapsed on everything.

Complete standstill.

He finds you in the living room, something four in the morning. He’d just finished a track, send it over to the guys for reviewing, and felt his mouth dry as cotton. Chris hadn’t even realized the time, creating being water that sweeps everything else away, concepts and basic needs included. Your knees were hugged close to your body, your head resting on top, slow blinking at the wall.

The him that would rush to your side, inspect you for anything out of the ordinary, anything that could make him see red—Chris held him back. This was not that, not like all those times before, this was backstepping, this was your brain eating at you in plain sight, the only voice louder than your own. He approached carefully, always aware of his position in your life, of what he wasn’t, and wasn’t, and would not be, not for a long time, not until you said so.

“Alright?”

The faintest nod, you’d have to know the habit to make it out. He knew it; he knew it best of all.

“Alright,” you repeated the word back to him, not moving an inch.

Chris waited, as he does so well. He waited for something else, an indication to proceed. Your sadness was consuming the entire room, its shadows curling in the corners. An episode, then, as heavy as the world, and he wondered if that was the reason you were home so early—if some fucker couldn’t handle your vastness, the mess of you, all your pointed pieces, and send you back to the one person that can.

“And the truth?” he presses, but just enough. Enough for you to spill, and he walks towards you despite himself, despite his throat warning him of dehydration, despite his heart running for the hills, screaming of ruins and deterioration.

He’s been through all of it. He tells himself it won’t hurt anymore, not the same, not as much.

He’s wrong.

A sharp inhale, the shaking of shoulders. Sadness always shows like this. “It’s bad, Chris,” you whimper, your voice breaking. “It’s bad again.”

Chris takes a deep breath, only to remind himself that he must keep distance between you. Because if it were up to him, he’d cradle you in his arms so tight pain would slide right off, scare away in the sight of love. If it were up to him, he’d carry you to your bed and make it all okay again, and every time, as many times as it took, with no hesitation, no second thought, nothing but taking your sadness as his own, nothing but bearing every single thing that hurts you, that weighs you down. If it were up to him, but it’s not. You do not want him, and your pain is your own, this you’ve told him.

‘I’ve had pain for so long, I don’t know what I’d be without it.’ So, instead, he watches as you cry silently to yourself, comfortable in his presence, but just enough. Always just enough.

But never fucking enough.

“Go to bed, (Y/N),” he tells you, but what he means to say is ‘Come to bed with me, lay down next to me and I’ll take care of you. I swear I will.’ What he really wants to say is he wants to hide inside your body, wants to swim through your bloodstream, squeeze through your veins and remove all toxins, all illness out of you. And if that sounds a little crazy, forgive him, yeah, he hasn’t slept in twenty-six hours.

You’re shaking the very fucking foundation of him. He cannot bear to witness your tears, cannot physically turn into something that can take it all away, angel, please, please stop crying, will you—you’re killing me, you’re torturing me—

You look so small, so frail in that place of yours. The couch was coming apart at the seams, having seen a little too much for its young age of four. Chris stared at the threads hanging at the bottom of it, to avoid the gun in his mouth. Perhaps he could reach out and touch you, maybe you’d let him, maybe you needed him as much as he needed you tonight, and you’d mercy him, you’d pardon his sentence and set him free.

Wiping at your eyes, mascara smudged in the corners, purples and grays smoked together, strangling, patronizing him—it’s not for you, it’s not for you, I was out with another man, I smell like him, I have his seed inside me, I will leave you one day, it’s not for you—and if it’s not that it’s the fucking dress, short and black and thin, second skin, covering your tits and your stomach and your cunt and not much else. His woman, once and always after that, in sorrow even when he’s let you do what you want, even when he’s sacrificed himself to the Devil so you have free will, even as he chews on glass as he watches you leave, always exiting doors, always away from him, never to, always from, and goddamn him, he’s not a fucking pussy, he’s your man—

You need him. He shut out the entire world he once knew for you, shunned everything, so he knows this— you need him.

“We shouldn’t do this,” you whisper, but your gaze is begging, your eyes are a window, and he’s got 20/20 vision, he reads between the lines, he recognizes.

He knuckles his own, rubbing his face raw. “We’re not doing anything,” an ancient voice. A voice that’s not his own, waiting. Tired.

The lighting is low, but he could make you out blindfolded. It’s late, and yet it’s not, not for him, not for you, not with you, but you lay in different beds, with different men, while he’s alone, whilst the waiting is in process and trust him, he’d rearrange the whole fucking architecture of this building to bring your bedroom closer to his, would build it himself if he had to, so don’t underestimate him, don’t test him, goddamnit, don’t refuse, don’t deny—

Your feet touch the ground, bare and no doubt cold, and he loves you, it rips through him, because where you’re always cold he’s always warm, and in that way useful to you. He remembers a time where it wasn’t bad, where there were no men, where you shared one bed and exchanged body temperatures, giggling like teenagers.

“Call out to me and I’ll come to you,” you disturb the silence between you, and your words cut through him like a knife. More knife than human. Because he’ll do it, he has a thousand names for you, and they all spell out one thing, they all reside in his head and haunt him.

He doesn’t believe you. You’re toying with him, because you’re sad and lonely, and need him. He’ll fall for it anyway because he’s sad, lonely and he needs you. A double-sided coin, but one all the same. You’ll cut him and cut him and cut him. He’ll bleed to death. Cause and effect—one cannot exist without the other.

If he puts his hands together in prayer, forgive him. He’s in love.

“What will you answer to?” He asks, holding his breath, afraid to look, but terrified to look away, and you get up from the torn couch, falling apart at the seams yourself, and this, you, he knows how to mend. If only he says the right thing.

“Anything.” You stand, fists at your sides, shivering, tears never ending, and he could grab you—

He doesn’t think you know what that means.

“Lies. One mistake and you’ll be gone,” he retorts bitterly, and his mouth has never tasted sweetness.

You smile, and you’re an idol at church, staring at him through glass, you’re a million-dollar painting guarded in a museum, people questioning you for hundreds of years. Is she smiling? Is she lying to me? When you already know the answer.

“Take a chance, Chris. This could be the last time.”

He should’ve paid attention to that, should’ve dedicated his entire life to solving the riddle, putting together the clues, gone on the scavenger hunt, but instead he lashes out, cups your face and smashes your lips together. He’s been starved, he’s been left thirsty in a desert to walk around in circles, repenting for his love. He’s had enough.

Mine, are you? A fucking angel, open your legs for me, let me feel my cunt, goddamn you—soaking my fucking fingers, baby girl, come. Come with me now. His hand over yours, walking into Lazarus’ tomb, a raising of the dead. “Tell me what you need,” as his teeth graze your earlobe, as he turns you around, your back against his chest, as his hand is holding your arms in place, a hostage in front of God, so you won’t go anywhere, “Did you hear me?”

“All of it. All of you,” you moan, your head falling back, and he bends you over the bed, your knees hitting wood. He’ll take you like this, because he cannot stand another night of having you where he sleeps, and you don’t stay. Lies, he thinks again. Not all of me—enough of me, bits and pieces of me, he tears the dress from your body in one swift motion, the fabric resisting over your hips. You gasp, pulling against his grip. He grips tighter.

You buck into his hips, and he groans, his lips on your back, on your shoulders, on your neck, everywhere at once, because unlike you, he wants every square inch of you, he wants to destroy you, wants to reach inside the cage of you and eat your heart so that it beats next to his own, nothing between you, and he sounds fucking pathetic, but it doesn’t even matter, you’re under him, at his mercy, and your cunt stretches around his fingers, his palm runs over your sweet cheeks, fingers tracing your lips, coming to rest on your neck, and you moan again, you’re shaking, but for an entirely different reason this time, and Chris wishes he can have you like this always, always always—

“You fucking own me body and soul, baby, that’s it, fuck on my fingers, come on—” you’re so close, so fucking close, but then he takes them away, and he’s entering you in an entirely different way, a better one, and you almost collapse, but your arms grip the covers, steady you on the mattress, and you’re crying out in ecstasy. He knows the exact map to your pussy, all the ways to make you cum for him, and he’s checking all of them off, his mouth is filthy, whispering in your ear, sucking on your neck, his cock drilling into your hole, rearranging your insides—

Listen to how your pussy sounds, fucking Heaven right under me, God baby, will you let me rip you apart, you will, won’t you, you know I’ll take care of you, fuck—despite the roughness of him, you felt comfort in the way he was taking you; like coming home, like opening the door of a place you know upside down. The violence that you unleash on yourself, an unstitching of all your wounds, and scars, the familiar red of your own bleeding, of being alive—Chris felt like that. You couldn’t stop coming back for more, because you knew the lights would be on, the bed would be warm, the blood would run the same.

You were a terrible fucking person, and you deserved none of it, so you bit your tongue, you tasted the iron, and clenched your teeth, letting him violate you in the best way, in the only way he ever will, because Chris was many things to you, but he could never hurt you—it’d only feel like he’d be hurting himself, every time.

When he came undone over you, he pushed through still, searching for your high, kind in his devouring savage in his ways, fingers brushing over your clit, smearing your wetness in between your thighs, driving you wild with his heavy breathing on your sweaty skin—it felt too much, too overwhelming, too hot, so hot, fuck c’mon baby girl, give it to me, I know you can, come around my dick, pretty baby, fuck you’re so goddamn beautiful—you did. Your eyes shut tight, your nails digging into his forearm, you came viciously, your entire body shaking, in a state of shock, rendered speechless, convulsing, yet needing more of him, his weight on you, his panting, his lips at the nape of your neck.

You’ve fucked a lot of men, you’re not proud to admit. All of them have been different, their love, the way they fuck—all different, all the same. They will never compare to this man, your man, one and only, because he knows you most of all, knows you inside out, has shaped you to fit around him like a glove. But it is because of that shame, because of the embarrassment—that you leave.

He watches you do so with apprehension, that dark gaze of his restrained, hurt. But you knew, didn’t you, Bang Chan? This changed nothing, this would always be one way and not the other, not what you want, never what you want. You could love her and love her and love her, until you die, until you burn yourself alive with yearning, until you get dragged into the pits of Hell. It—will—not—change. Because it’s not up to you. So, you watch her collecting seeds, you watch her fill herself up with so many of you, and you think maybe this will be enough now, maybe now she’ll stop, this is enough, right? Enough. This word on his mouth is pure acid, he curses it—but it’s all the consolation he has. That one day it’ll stop, one day you’ll come back, your thirst will be satiated, appeased, and you’ll be—satisfied. Another word that’s hard to voice, even harder to swallow.

“If I say it,” he starts, hands clenched into fists, tears brimming, heart crumpled up and thrown against the wall, a first-degree murder, “if I say it,” he repeats, and it’s wicked, “will you stop? Will you come here?”

You pause by the door, a being with no soul, no redeeming qualities. You will your face to look brave, to look indifferent, but what’s the use—against your own self? He can see right through you, this man.

“If you say it, you’ll never see me again.”

The door closes. He’s alone.

Two weeks later, Chris enters your apartment stumbling, taking off his coat, kicking off his shoes, world spinning. It takes him about two minutes to walk a straight line in the kitchen, but he succeeds, the water he manages to pour himself soothing his burning throat.

The record had been wrapped up, the fat check from his producer/song-writer skills now residing in his bank account, all the whiskey bought in his honor drank until the last drop. What was left now but to go home and sneak into your room, watch you sleep, fantasize about slipping right behind you under the blankets, wrap an arm around your waist, bring you close and smell the sweet shampoo scent of your hair? Such simple pleasures, and yet getting there was the hardest part. Chris wasn’t a creep, or at least didn’t consider himself one, but you’d driven him to the absolute fucking brink of madness. All he needed was your touch, your soft skin against his, your lips kissing back, initiating contact—he couldn’t even have that. Not even that.

He wanted to tell you, he wanted to see your expression as you’d hear it—he almost fucked another woman tonight. Almost, as in he couldn’t even look at her fucking face without thinking of you, couldn’t find his way inside her skirt, inside her pussy, and the truth of the matter was she wasn’t you, point blank, right, so what else was there to say? He got his dick sucked regularly, so many fucking girls begged him to take them home, but how could he when you’d be right there, one fucking wall of separation between you, possibly listening in, possibly covering your mouth, the betrayal pushing you one step further from him?

He couldn’t even risk it, no matter how impossible it sounded. You weren’t even there most nights, you didn’t even care—you’d gone and done it first, if he were to lay the facts down; you’d hurt him first, betrayed him first. But doing it back? Doing it to you? He’d rather cut his own hand. You held him by the balls, he was unable to escape your spell. So, he staggered over to your room, pressed the handle down, softly, quietly, afraid to wake you, if you were even there, he chanted, he prayed, it was so late, so fucking late, you better be in bed, you better be safe and tucked in and at home—you weren’t. Your bed was neatly made, your nightstand lamp off. But your shoes were by the door, a hope lit like a torch on his way to your bedroom now vanquished by the dark, the cold.

Panic settled low on his stomach, as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialing your number, eyes searching, ears perked for sounds. He moved towards the buzz, the living room, the sad looking couch—your phone was in between the pillows, going off on silent. Chris sobered immediately, warning signs going off in his head, his legs carrying him across the apartment, hands trembling, eyes wide, manic, heart leaping, beating out his chest, afraid, terrified—

You couldn’t have, you wouldn’t have, you’re fine, you’re out, you’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine, he opens the bathroom door, looks left, looks right—you did.

“(Y/N)!”

There’s no one in his body, he’s floating, he reaches you, he falls on his knees, his arms sink into water, sleeves drenched, he’s dead, he’s dead, there’s nothing in him, he pulls your body up, he screams, he yells, he’s shaking you, you’re cold, you’re freezing, your eyes are closed, why are your eyes closed, he scrambles, he’s dead he’s fucking dead his heart is not responding—the water splashes on the floor, the water is everywhere, he’s drowning in it, he presses you against his chest, his lips are on your temple, his hands try to create friction, he rubs he rubs he rubs, he doesn’t know where to look, what to do, he’s not alive, what does he do what does he do—

“What the fuck, what the fuck, baby, please wake up, please wake up, please wake up,” he thinks he’s crying, he thinks he has to call an ambulance, he thinks there’s not much time, your pulse is weak, but it’s there, he’ll die, he’ll die with you, please please please please, “you can’t fucking leave me, you can’t fucking leave, angel why, why—”

Three numbers, he calls, he puts it on speaker, he’s shoving his fingers down your throat leaning you forward, how long have you been in there, how long like this, what if this doesn’t work, please, fuck, please, baby, baby, my—mine, my girl is not breathing, please hurry, please hurry, in water, I found her, she’s not responding, YES, SHE MIGHT’VE, FUCK, hurry hurry, what do I do!

Chris desperately tries to get you to throw up, checking your face, checking your pulse, ridding you of the clothes clinging on your skin, forcing himself not to think this was on purpose, the one time he’s not home, the one time he goes out. He doesn’t remember ‘this could be the last time’, he doesn’t remember the pills on your nightstand, he doesn’t, his mind is not cooperating, he’s not there, the woman is telling him to try CPR, but he doesn’t know how to do that, he’s scared to let you go, what if he hurts you, what if he breaks you, what if you die because of him, oh God, fuck, he’s crying, he’s hyperventilating, he’s dead, he’s dead—

You choke, water coming out your mouth, your shoulders moving, your body kickstarting, and he removes his hands from your chest, he pulls you to him, he rocks you back and forth, she’s back, she’s back, but she’s weak, as you gargle and heave on him, gasping for air, gripping on his shirt, meeting his eyes—you’re back, you’re back, no other thought than this, you didn’t leave, you didn’t leave him, but you’re pale, so pale, and you’re losing consciousness again, and the ambulance needs to hurry the fuck up, because this is a different fight now, a scarier one.

“Baby, what did you do, what did you do…”

“Keep her awake, sir!”

He lightly slaps your cheek, his fingers never moving from the pulse on your neck, and he talks to you, he talks to you about the first day he met you, and your eyes are fighting to stay open, you’re here but you’re not, you hear him but you don’t, and you smile but it’s a phantom thing, barely there, drugged, not there, not there—you walked up to Seungmin to get his phone number, and he should’ve known then, you’d never truly belong to him, because he saw you first, but he didn’t have you until later, he wanted you from that fucking moment, but he didn’t say anything, he didn’t intervene until later, until he talked to his friend, until he went on that first date instead of him, and how that came to change his entire fucking life forever.

Because you’ve been in it since, because he can’t imagine anything without you there, there’s fucking nothing, a black void, a hole to bury himself in, and that’s it, without you? Without you? His girl? Nothing. You need to stay alive, you owe him at least that, if he can’t have you, he won’t keep you back, not anymore, he promises, he swears, but please, please, for the love of fucking God, stay alive.

The paramedics come five minutes after he pulls you off the tub, and they take you away in the towels he’s wrapped you in, checking for responses, talking amongst themselves. He follows lost, in a haze, his drunk mind slowing him down—he wants to call your mom, but you haven’t talked to her in two years, and fuck if he knows where your father is. He left you, you’ve told him, when you were little, and ever since then you’ve treated the men in your life as passengers on a train, expecting them to walk out whenever their stop comes up, never thinking for one second that anyone could want to stay on forever, until the train seizes to work, until the tracks rust away, and there’s no more need for transportation.

You’ve never for one second thought maybe you don’t need to be train—that you don’t need to always arrive and depart. That you could stay, and that someone would stay with you.

You don’t wake up for three days.

You’re driving him insane. He still comes.

He sits next to you for hours, staring at your serene face, the face he’s seen change in fifty different ways, and he remembers how it felt to be the recipient of your smile, how your mouth stretched and curved, how your eyes creased. Sometimes you’d move your fingers, others your eyelashes would flatter, or your leg would jerk. He’d call the nurse immediately, point it out, get disappointed, fall back on the chair.

‘Normal reflexes,’ they called them. He thinks he hasn’t slept in more than thirty hours; he thinks your face is ingrained in his memory, yet he studies it nevertheless, endlessly, day to night, night to day, the machine next to you beeping, the IV on your arm dripping—he thinks he has reflexes too, but they all respond to you. If there’s no you, then he might as well stick that needle inside him, lay next to you, sleep eternally.

If there’s no you, what’s the point?

Seungmin visits, Jisung does too, they both bring flowers. On the third day your mom shows up much to his surprise—there was no emotion behind her eyes, nothing to indicate the girl on the bed was in fact her daughter, and Chris had to get the fuck away, step out before he caused a fucking scene, before he did something he’d regret.

There was no one for you—all those ‘friends’ you partied with on the regular, all those fuckers you slept with—no one came, no one called, no one gave a damn. You stretched yourself thin for people who most likely didn’t even remember your fucking name, you gave yourself away, time and time again, told him to go to Hell, you’d do whatever you wanted, you had others, you weren’t alone—Chris based himself off those words entirely. Knowing the truth, realizing the loneliness you’d been enduring all these months—he wanted to crack his head open, physically pick you out of his brain.

Only because you wanted to be away from him. All of this because he insisted.

How to forgive himself now? One, for being too late. Two, for not seeing. Where does one put his sins? There was no excuse for him; he saw you every day, he prided himself for knowing you best of all. What the fuck did he know, huh?

He left. Told the receptionist to call him if you woke up—him, not your mom, not anybody else, and he fucked off to go drink himself oblivious. The tiredness he felt couldn’t be described in human words. It had built a home inside his very bones, rested heavily, stubbornly on top, pressing down, down down—a mere mortal, with insignificant pains, and the need for sleep. Chris had no need for sleep, no need for mortal prerequisites.

He needed you. That was all.

You go home, eventually.

He picks you up, a thousand words in his mind, none on the tip of his tongue. He drives in silence, and you stare ahead. You’re different, there’s a cloud twice the size it was now. You have to go to therapy, you have to take other pills now, long names on them, day and night. You have to ask for help when you need it. Chris was pulled to the side as well—he had put himself down as your fiancé, had asked to know everything about you. So, they tell him.

You might need to go away for a bit, but for now you’d go back with him. Call this specific number if something happens. Your life redefined by this one choice. It was stupid. You didn’t even want to die, not particularly, you just wanted the pain to go away—you fell asleep in the wrong place. It didn’t even matter, anyway. Doctors don’t listen, not really. Chris does. You know he does, you know he’s a good listener, you’re positive he will understand—because he loves you.

And you love him, too. Just enough. A field burning. Always, and forever.

But he can’t even look at you, and you think you might’ve fucked something up with him. In him. So, you stare ahead, and you wait until you’re home. You didn’t even want to die; you say this over and over to yourself. You didn’t even want him to see you like that. Now he’ll treat you differently, he’ll ponder over everything you say, he’ll look for hidden meanings. Your mother was the same way, and you left her.

You absolutely do not want to leave Chris; you know this now.

Home is tidy. He might be a fucking mess, might’ve lost the entire goddamn plot over your absence, ruined his liver, and his brain nerves, but he’s not about to reveal that to you. Any of that. He keeps quiet, as you put the things he’d brought you away in your room, untouched, still as it was that night, says nothing as you undress and slip into pajama shorts and a T-shirt. You figure you’ll probably have to break the ice first, as he seems terrified to do so.

And with good reason. You had him balancing on very thin thread—what did you expect?

You sit down on your bed. He stands by the door, arms folded, leaning against the doorframe. He looks exhausted, drained. He looks like he wants to reach out, see for himself if you’re really here, and you can see the fight inside him rage on and onwards. How do you fix this? Where do you start?

“I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows shoot up, his expression pained. Hearing those words…that’s not what he wants to hear. You’ve nothing to be sorry about. It was all him—he had no idea what you were going through, he’s the one being selfish, wanting you all to himself, forcing you to do things that were clearly against your will. You had nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all.

Except breaking his heart. Over, and over, and over. The one thing.

“You told me not to say it,” he speaks, his voice collected. “That night…that I’d never see you again. But it’s all that matters, (Y/N), isn’t it?”

You grab onto the covers underneath you. He’s right. He’s right, but you’ve been ignoring it for so long, you’ve been refusing to acknowledge, you’ve been putting him off, thinking if I do this a little longer, if I take it a little further…maybe he’d leave first. Maybe I won’t have to do the leaving this time, please don’t let me do it this time, I don’t think I’ll bear it.

But he cannot do this for you. The one thing.

“Do you love me?” he asks, and you shake all over.

Love—it was a house. A house with him in it, holding the ceiling in place, the light always on, the bed warm. Love was a place you never wanted to leave behind. A place you’d die in. Did you love him—yes. You never stopped. But was it enough? Say he knew this, the simple truth, you loved him all along, you loved him even through all the pain you caused him—then why? Why didn’t you just stay with him? It’s the question after that you’re most afraid of.

Your face collapses. “Yes.”

He pushes off the frame, hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. “Yes?” he breaths, chuckles incredulously. “Yes, she says, then drowns herself in the bathtub. Explain your love to me, angel. I’m fucking clueless.”

You flinch. At his words, at his tone. He’s not meaning to hurt you, not really. His frustration, his concern, it’s all written across his face. He could never lie, not to you. Yet, being confronted by it…it digs through you just the same.

“That was an accident,” you didn’t know where to start, what to say. You thought it’d be easier. It’s not. “You don’t have to forgive me, Chris. Please don’t, I don’t deserve it. But the answer to your question—it’s always going to be yes.”

He bended at the knees, hands coming to rest in front of him, as he stared at you. Never forgetting to put distance between you, even now. If you could feel anything, you’re pretty sure you’d feel your heart trying to break free from its cage. You wish you could, if just for a moment, so as not to feel like such a liar speaking such truths.

“I’m not going to ask why,” he croaked, his head dropping, embarrassed at the emotion spilling out of him. “Though God knows I want to. I almost fucking lost you, and it might not mean anything to you, but it means everything to me. If you’d died—that’d be the end of me, (Y/N), do you understand what that’s like?”

You couldn’t help your silence as you watched him break down and cry. You thought if you didn’t move then, you’d lose him and that was ten times worse. It’d be a long while since your life had any meaning for you, but Chris shouldn’t have to bury himself in the same pit as you. He used to smile so brightly once, was always the life of party, someone you counted on all too much, because he was just that dependable.

You think you need to become a little like him. Have more courage.

All it takes is three steps. Then, you’re on your knees in front of him, your arm resting on his back, as you try to find his eyes. His hand tries to wipe the tears away before you catch them, but you interject with your own, your fingers brushing over his cheek. You want to taste them, these tears, understand through them, without the misunderstanding of words, without ever speaking—you wish to know him before he even opens his mouth. As he is with you. You need to learn more about love, about what it means, and how it feels, really, and truly.

“I never stopped loving you, baby,” he whispers, the strain of him vibrating. “Not once. You could shoot a bullet through my chest, and I’d take it, I’d die a happy man. I’m as messed up as you are.”

He still won’t look at you. You pray one day he’ll be able to express himself without feeling ashamed. You hope one day your throat won’t choke up when around him. Maybe it wasn’t even about who’d leave first. You had never tried just being—with him. The one thing.

“Do the program,” he encourages, calming down. “Do the program, and when you get out, I’ll be here,” finally the brown meets you. You search it, want to dive in it, get lost in it. One last time. “I’ll always be here.”

When he takes you in his arms, then, you know he will. There’s no intention behind it—just love. Only love.

[emtornado]

Twenty Five Twenty One really laughed at our Pain

So we have a series with an amazing plot. A beautiful story to tell with characters you can’t help but love with your whole heart. There are real-world issues that are adding conflict. The story started with the pandemic, jumped to the IMF crisis and is at one of the saddest points of recent history— 9/11. Things suck but our characters are finding love, comfort and friendship amongst each other.

And then, everything goes to shit between the two characters we loved the most.

Honestly, I’m not even that angry that Baek Yi Jin and Na Hee do didn’t end up together. We all sort of called it by that point. We knew that these people would break our hearts. it’s not even the breakup that hurts it’s the fact that they are not in each other's lives anymore. A relationship ending is one thing but throwing away five years of unconditional love and support and friendship is just sad an depressing and this is basically the part that hurts most.

And then, I’m angry about the lack of closure.

Where is the conclusion with Kim Min Chae? What was going on with her that made her truly take up ballet again? They didn't give her character the importance she deserves. I mean we were getting the whole story BECAUSE of her. Because of her struggles and the way she was able to find comfort in her mother’s younger self. Where did her thoughts go? It started with a blending of Kim Min Chae’s life and Na Hee Do’s lives and their parallels, shown through the cut shots between the past and the present. And then finally the whole character’s arc and story were just abandoned.

Secondly, I’m angry about the adult Na Hee Do’s life in general. This girl created some of the best friendships in her teenage year, where she shared countless important memories with Seung wan, Ji Woong and Yu rim. Especially Ko Yu Rim. These two people have been best friends for more than 10 years. Where was Ko Yu Rim’s presence in Kim Min Chae and Na Hee Do’s lives? Where was Moon Ji Woong? Are they not friends anymore? Why? What happened? I mean considering Kim Min Chae’s lack of knowledge about Ko You Rim, you’d think that she basically disappeared from Hee Do’s life.

Which brings me to Kim Min Chae’s existence. Let's take the present time as 2022 (even though it gives more 2021 vibes). This kid had to have been born around 2007-2008. And yet, it's 2009 when Hee Do has apparently just gotten married. TO WHOM??? WHO’S KID IS KIM MIN CHAE FFS???? LIKE DID SHE JUST POP INTO EXISTENCE RANDOMLY? THIS MADE NO SENSE. Help me understand this one plot point.

What is going on with the rest of the characters, honestly? What was this ending where we got to know nothing about the other characters’ current lives? Do Yu Rim and Ji Woong have kids as well? Are they happy? What about Seung Wan and Baek Yi Hyun? What’s happening in their lives?

GIVE ME MORE INFO ABOUT NY OTHER FAVOURITE CHARACTERS FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!

Now let’s talk about Hee Do and Yi Jin. Just them. Since episode one there has been a gradual buildup of them overcoming anything and everything. He went away and they just lived on each other’s voicemails. They fought over everything but always resolved it because their relationship was important to both of them. It took precedence over everything else.

Now, of course, Baek Yi Jin was genuinely depressed after New York. And that's like a whole other thing I'm salty about because my poor baby was so fucking miserable and I can't change shit about this cuz it is *dramatic and heartbroken sigh* REALISTIC. Anyway, that is when, instead of showing their relationship crumbling, they should’ve had them talk to each other. Break down in front of each other. Blame each other and hate each other. 

And then finally, be there for each other. Because that’s what their relationship has been from the beginning, since they met for the very first time. They’ve been there for each other, helped each other grow and loved each other regardless of what was happening.

They’ve both broken each other’s hearts before. They have fucked things up unknowingly. They have been happy and sad together. And you’re telling me that after growing up together they couldn’t get over this one bump in their relationship? They couldn’t have told each other exactly what they wanted and worked together towards that goal?

Say Yi Jin stays in New York and Hee Do continues fencing for the next 8 years. Their phones exist. They both make quite a lot, especially Hee Do who has her own wealth that is to her mother. You’re telling me they couldn’t have visited each other? When Hee do had to go back from competitions, she couldn’t make a pit stop in New York and be with her boyfriend for those few precious moments? 

Bullshit.

These two have been too innovative and too in love to not do small things like this.

The fight in front of the bridge was the perfect moment for them to understand each other. Not even completely, just know that their love still exists and they can still be together if only they work for it. They say that the reason They couldn’t work out was because in the end, after Yi Jin got blinded by the world and his work, and Hee Do forgot to choose herself in her support of him, they both chose themselves in the end.

That’s not true. Please. They were both going through personal hardships and forgot to lean on each other because of how far away the other person seemed (not physically, emotionally. Cue Hee Do’s “my support isn’t reaching him anymore” line.) What could have been done was to show that they could choose themselves WHILE supporting each other. Because that’s what people do. Fuck, if a goblin and a human, an alien and a human, a North Korean soldier and south Korean heiress, and a king from another realm and a person from the other realm can figure shit out, two fools who’ve been there for each other for years can figure out a way to be together, this was bullshit.

I mean, they made a strong and amazing leading couple, where people cared more about them than the other couples, where each of them are facing their own hardships and overcoming them, but somehow can’t overcome the one and only time something goes wrong in their relationship. This was mendable and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.

If the show makers wanted to show realism, why couldn’t it be in the form of ‘relationships are hard. Love isn’t enough. You have to make an effort 24/7’? Because that is also the truth in life. Relationships are a lot of goddamn work and when they showed these two characters, who have always put in the effort just giving up like this—

That was the truly unrealistic part. The lack of effort being put towards saving one’s relationship.

Okay now, things that were not given an explanation or made no sense:

Kim Min Chae’s Father. Who the hell is it? What is all this mystery about? Give us a proper ending where this kind of information is given and gotten over with. What was the reason????

How does Na Hee Do have the picture of herself that only Baek Yi Jin has a copy of? Did he give it back to her? And then she put it in an album? Why?

Yi Jin’s father’s “You gave me comfort 10 years ago” comment when his boy was 22 at the time. Why ten years ago? What’s the significance?

Hee Do forgetting her school trip. The only school trip this kid went to and she forgot it? I still remember trips I took when I was in nursery. My mother remembers HER school trips. And this lady forgot the one trip she went to? How tf?  

Where and when and how did Hee Do’s mom see Baek Yi Jin in the current time? Why was it emphasised like that?

Kim Min Chae’s birthday. That’s it. I already spoke about that so like no point in talking about it again but you have to admit, it's annoying.

(And so many other things I’m sure I’m missing)

I know this stuff might seem irrelevant but I’m a writer. I write stories and books and scripts and if there’s one rule to writing, it's the fact that if something is mentioned in a story, then there’s a reason for it. You don’t mention useless shit. 

A character really likes strawberries? It’ll come back in some way. It has significance. Every word you write for your story building has a purpose and cannot be ignored. They mentioned certain things and never ever spoke about them again. That makes no sense. These things had absolutely no explanation and it annoyed the fuck out of me, honestly speaking. Like— what was the reason? Why would you mention it? I’m just really frustrated about this whole thing. It makes me angry as a writer, to be frank.

Now on to what could be a more plausible ending, if they wanted Na Hee Do and Baek Yi jin to one hundred percent not end up together, would be for them to explore their lives currently, show that Hee Do is happy with her daughter and current husband (who they’ve made Voldermort at this point. ‘He who must not be named’. Nonsense), shown Ko Yu Rim and Moon Ji Woong and Ji Seung Wan and Na Hee Do meeting for drinks or something, talking about their kids and life, missing Yi Jin, their mothers, their memories, literally anything. Then a shot of Baek Yi Jin also living his life the way he wants it to be— dedicated to his family and being happy with them.

Or in my opinion, The two fools figured shit out, lived their lives and got together when they finally could to have what they both wanted most in life— each other, love, family and a warm, happy life.

But no. They really gave us the best storyline with amazing characters and a love story to be remembered, only to give an unsatisfactory ending. The whole time, the story has been about people coming together and staying together despite the odds, and yet, it ends with them ending apart because they gave up. It's been about working hard to achieve your goals (and this is applied to all the characters) and then being successful one way or another.

I mean, look at Seung Wan. SHe left school and had an added burden, but she worked hard despite that and got where she wanted to be. Ji Woong came last in school but now runs a successful business. Yu Rim is making money and is happy in life. It's only Na Hee Do and Baek Yi Jin who had THAT ending. What was the point? To show that your youth can be amazing but adult life is looking back at memories of your youth and being nostalgic? I mean, what?

Throughout the story, they have spoken about overcoming hardships (career, life, circumstances, money, love and even friendship) and this is how they ended it. With the two leads not overcoming shit.

Honestly don’t know if I should recommend this to other people because the journey was so beautiful. The ending was absolute shit though. 

I understand that some of you may not feel that way, but honestly. I watched this Drama to feel good about existing, to see something that seems ‘impossible’ working out, something that gives me hope. But instead, I got an ache in my chest and a long post most people wouldn’t give a flying fuck about. 

Yay.

[cafedanslanuit]

- ̗̀ i could buy you anything but i cannot buy you ̖́-

day fifteen body worship ft. hyun ryu / zen [mystic messenger]

☄  tags/warnings: +18, gn reader + no pronouns, body worship, use of ropes/restricted movement, light dom/sub, light femdom, oral sex (m receiving), lingerie, p with feelings, established relationship, wealthy!reader from last kinktober comes back, this zen is my favourite zen

☄  words: 1.3k

☄  a/n: this one was suggested by my good friend @quirky-and-kind! hope you like this kinktober piece about your fave <3

☄  masterlist

Zen had always had the need to be in control for a lot of years. Since he was a teenager and ran away from home, he had to learn how to take care of himself, and that didn’t only mean cooking and cleaning his own space, but also making sure no one would take advantage of him for being young. He learnt how to fight, how to face guys twice his size and body weight, and to this day, he still remembers the feeling of being on edge.

His guard may not be up as much as it did back then, but to this day Zen still takes a second look at any situation he’s in. He can’t let anything drive him away from his acting career so he always has to give his best and not take anything for granted.

Maybe that was why he enjoyed it when you tied him up.

Zen fights against the restraints on his wrists, only to make sure they’re tight enough for him. His clothes are lying on the floor, next to his ankles that are tied down to the chair. He wants nothing but to touch you, run his fingers through your lacy undergarments that he knows are worth more than two or three months of his salary, maybe rip them apart if you let him.

However, he wouldn’t trade this for the world. He feels himself getting impossibly hard at the way you keep grinding your clothed cunt against his erection, your lips ghosting over his jaw and neck. Zen feels your hot breath against his skin and he swears he can feel you smiling every time he whines and tries to move closer to you.

“You’re so pretty,” you sigh, caressing his bare chest and feeling his muscles tense underneath your hands. “I’m gonna take care of you tonight, is that okay?”

Zen nods quickly, his voice a little hoarse. “Y-yeah,” he sighs.

“Good,” you smile, pulling away so you can look into his eyes. You cradle his face tenderly and caress his cheeks with your thumbs. “I just want to make you feel good tonight. Forget about everything else.”

“You always make me feel good,” he instantly answers, widening your grin. You place a soft kiss on his lips but before he gets the chance of deepening it, you pull away.

Your lips travel to his jaw again, leaving a trail of sloppy, wet kisses as you move to his ear. Gently, you nibble on his lobe, relishing in the small gasps that leave his mouth. After a few moments, you kiss down his neck, your tongue gliding against his skin and making him shudder.

Standing up from your position on his lap, you kneel on the floor in between his thighs, your face ending up in front of his chest. Your fingers skim down his shoulders and arms, stopping where his elbows bend so his wrists are tied on the back. There’s nothing more you want but you leave heavy marks on his perfect skin but you aren’t sure what’s in his schedule for the week, so you refrain yourself.

As your fingers keep running up and down his arms, your lips finally fall on one of his nipples. The sound of a sharp gasp fills the room and the chair rattles a bit as you take the bud inside your mouth, sucking on it softly. Your eyes look up at Zen, whose cheeks are deep pink as he watches you take his nipple out from your mouth before giving it a long lick.

“Shit— ah, baby, you know how that—” his sentence gets cut short as one of your hands travels to his other nipple, rolling it gently between your index and your thumb. Zen throws his head back and you switch to small kitten licks to flick it, feeling his chest tremble with each moan that you elicit from him.

Your mouth and hand switch, taking his other nipple as Zen bucks his hips in the air. The thought about forgetting your slow pace and just riding him until you both can’t see straight crosses your mind, but you know that by the end both of you will end up more satisfied this way.

As your lips move down to his abs, your hands settle on his thighs. You can feel the amount of time he spends at him in his toned thighs and abs and you dreamt of a life where you could watch him work out while sipping a glass of champagne, watching the drops of sweat run down his chiselled chest as he pants, trying to catch some air.

But maybe that’s the reason why you enjoy this so much. Even if you admire how brave, independent and idealistic Zen is, a part of you just wants to keep him inside your penthouse, all pretty and dolled up for you. However, your Zen wouldn’t be your Zen if he wasn’t an untamable beast himself, only giving you control on nights like this when he needed to let his mind go.

You knew that, besides the pleasure that pooled in his eyes as you tied his ankles, there was also this unspoken trust, feeling safe in your hands as he hadn’t felt with anyone else before.

“You look even prettier like this,” you commented, resting the side of your head on his thigh, mouth a couple of centimetres apart from his throbbing cock. “So helpless and needy. Feel like I should hire someone to paint you like this. Could hang it in my office. What do you think?”

Zen knows you’re bluffing, you’re only trying to tease him with your sultry words so close to his already leaking cock, yet his mind is blurry and all he knows is he would do anything you asked for. Before he knows it, he’s nodding at your words, making you grin.

“Oh? You’d really want me to do that? Well, I could definitely make some calls to make that happen. Wouldn’t want to forget how my pretty boy looks like this,” you say, pulling away and lowering your head further. You leave a small kiss on his ankle, Zen’s gaze growing desperate as you kiss his calves, biting down the flesh gently as you make your way up.

“Anything— anything you want,” he mumbles, pupils blown in pleasure as he watches you lick a stripe of his inner thigh.

“Oh, but that’s the tricky part, baby,” you say, taking his length in your hands and pressing your legs together as Zen whimpers from your touch, his tip leaking and red, craving for some attention. “Of course I can get anything I want. But you…”

You slowly lick the underside of his cock, your eyes locked on his as Zen squirms on the chair.

“You’re the one thing that was truly a gift.”

Once you take him inside your mouth, Zen doesn’t last long. High-pitched whines fill out your room as he loses himself in the way your head bobs up and down, your cheeks grazing his length and your tongue drawing circles on his tip. He feels you gently running your nails down his thighs and he rolls his eyes, pleasure overtaking his mind. Sure, he’s had experiences before, but he swears he never thought sex could feel this intense before he met you.

He spills inside your mouth with a loud groan that has your name on it, body shaking and chair rattling as he does so. You help him ride out his orgasm, watching marvelled as the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen falls apart for you, because of you, in you. When you’re sure he’s done, you climb on his lap again, holding his face tenderly as Zen tries his best to set his dazy eyes on you again.

You want to say something, yet any word you can think of would only ruin this. Instead, you smile at him and once a smile forms back on his face, you lean in for a kiss.

[seonghwashibber]

Proving to love: Part 5 ~ Sweet Touch 

Pairing: Tattoo Artist! Single Dad! Yeosang x Teacher Reader

Genre: Smut, Language...The chapter is just a bit smutty for viewers! 

Note: This is my first time writing smut, forgive me for being gone for a bit, I was reading but not writing, I got sick. But thankfully I got this up and ready for you guys. 

Wives; Minnie, Choi, Jena, Coco, Amy, Julia, Meilina 

Tag List: @latte-fairytaekwoon @queenofgames @moonchildsmoon @subways-stuff @actuallythatwaspromise @softvelvetkisses @little-precious-baby @seacottons @euphoriamingi @sunsethw4 @cofffeluver1017924 @etherealyoonghwa 

Part 4

Scenario: Yeosang and Y/n have a moment that brings them closer together. Ji-Hyun is up to something and isn’t done with her main goal. Y/n catches her in the act of her daily moment with Yuna. 

Yuna gave her aunts and uncles hugs, waving bye to the kids, when the whole family was gone, she begin to pout. The pain in her chest, she felt it, it wasn’t the type of chest pain you get when you struggle to burp. No, it was the chest pain you experience when your heart has been shot by something sad. Ji-Hyun never wanted to be bothered with Yuna which the young girl was self aware and the feeling was very much mutual to the small girl. Instead she was sad, her father had never skipped out reading her bedtime stories, and Ji-Hyun was too busy gossiping on the phone. Too much that she didn’t care if Yuna was given a bedtime story that night or not. 

“Eomma,” she spoke gently as she walked in the room. Ji-Hyun glared at the child. “What do you want brat?” she asked. “I was wondering if you could read me a story?” Yuna asked. Ji-Hyun rolled her eyes before slightly tugging the child in her bedroom. “Just lay down and go to bed, we aren’t doing this tonight,”. With that said Ji-Hyun closed Yuna’s bedroom door. Leaving the small girl to have tears as she cuddled under her blanket, feeling sad without the comforting words from her dad. The warm embrace you gave her when you came over.

{Meanwhile Yeosang and Y/n}

You were pretty shocked by Yeosang’s sudden change in attitude, one minute he was calm, ignoring you, he didn’t bother even saying a small word. And after you played your little game and he spotted Jungkook, his mood changed. He wasn’t the same sweet Yeosang, the one who would pamper his daughter, always give what she asked for. The same one who would let his daughter sit in the tattoo shop, her eyes scanning the art work on someone’s skin while praising her fathers work. The same man who would cuddle his daughter and talk to you, who would offer you some help. He was much different, He wasn’t gentle with his hold on you, he wasn’t even bothered with what people were thinking. He wasn’t giving you a soft and gentle embrace. He was scanning you like you were some piece of meat that belonged to only him. Without even a thought he did indeed drag you off to a hotel. You hated how much the plan worked, but you loved how you could feel his touch after so long. 

“Spacing out already kitten?” he questioned, his voice was laced with lust. He looked right in your eyes, closing the door and pulled you tightly against his body. “Cat got your tongue? Not so tough now are you?” He asked as he smirked at your silence. You didn’t wanna break eye contact with the man. He made it too hard, instead all you could do was stare at his lips. “Do you know why we’re here?” he asked. Nodding your head, you responded. “I do, But are you really capable of handling me? I mean only a wimp of a man would choose someone else, he only leaves what he can’t tame,” you teased. Yeosang growled a bit before he had pulled you into a rough kiss. His hands going lower, placed on your ass as he gave it a squeeze. You yelp, giving his tongue access inside of your mouth. You hated to admit how could it felt to have a feeling of him. How could someone who hurt you so much, bring you so much pleasure. He begin to bite and kiss your neck, being sure he left a mark on your body, he wanted to claim you. He knew deep down he couldn’t and it was wrong but he wanted this moment with you. 

“Usually I never give you simple instructions since you never wanna follow anything I say, it feels like you do these things because you want me, now,” he begin to speak more as he removed the clothes from your body. Only leaving you in your bra and your panties. “Since you claim that I can’t tame you, how about you get on the bed and let me prove it to you?” he smirked. “I don’t have to listen to you,”  you said. He raised his brow as he leaned closer, leaning you back on the bed. He crawled on top of you, you could feel his bulge, his eyes were full of lust. He begins to kiss your neck, biting on the skin, your small whimpers sounded like heaven to his ears. “You taste good baby, but what if I want more?” he said. His lips peppered your breast with kisses, his hands begin to work on your bra, removing it slowly but surely. He knew what he was doing, he knew exactly what you wanted at the moment. But he felt like making you work for it. “I want more,” you say. Yeosang chuckles as he sucks your nipple, the moan you let out sent him into a trance. “Tell me what you want baby,” he said as he kissed down your body. “I want you, I want you to taste me, I want you to kiss me all over, mark me, I want you so much Yeosang, please,” you beg. 

He pushes your panties aside, His tongue licking your folds, your hands grip the sheets at the sudden feeling of pleasure. “You taste sweet but you have to work for my cock,” he chuckled. Both fingers pump into you slowly, you can’t even begin to use words and he liked it, that’s how he wanted it. He wanted you to be a mess, such a mess that you couldn’t talk, you couldn’t even form words, but his most important job, was going balls deep into you, making you feel him for weeks, he was gonna have you wanting him again. He pumps faster, and you soon release all your juices and pre-cum on his fingers, he sucks on his fingers in pleasure. “You were so wet, I didn’t have a problem with fucking you on my fingers,”. He stood up from the bed, removing his clothes, your eyes darted towards his lower area, he was big, a good enough size. “Now, if you want my cock in your little cunt, you’ll suck me off first, it’s the only way baby,” he said. But you wanted to keep up your little game. “I don’t have to listen to you, not a word you say,” you tease. He chuckles. “You don’t, but if you want me to fill you up, only with my cum, and you want to remember me, you’ll listen to what I say,”. He knew you would listen to him at the moment. 

Opening your mouth, you took him in, licking the tip, swirling your tongue. He threw his head back as his hands found their way in your hair “Fuck, your mouth feels so good,” he said. You moan, loving the vibration he would feel from your mouth. You knew he was feeling it, you knew he was going to be on the edge. And you hated to admit it, but the thought of being used by him, however he wanted, made you throb. “Fuck, Y/n,”. Yeosang tangled his fingers in your hair, soon fucking himself into your mouth, releasing his cum. “Swallow for me,” he commanded. You listened to his words, swallowing the white like liquid. Yeosang moved you back on the bed, he spreads your legs, you were already wanting him inside of you, and he was wanting to be inside of you. “Is this your first time?” he asked. You shook your head, Yeosang slowly pushes himself inside of you. “I’m gonna make a mess of you,”. He begins to thrust at a slow rate, you both moan, he leans down to kiss you, your kisses were sloppy, but you knew deep through the lust, there was love in it. There was no childish game or jealousy, you knew that. Yeosang could deny it all he wanted but you knew what was happening held love as well, maybe jealousy and anger was covering it. Yet it felt like Yeosang truly wanted this, and you could tell you both wanted each other. 

His bites your nipple, making you whimper in pain and pleasure. “Tell me how I make you feel, tell me everything,” he said. You moan loudly, as you look in his eyes, lust covering you both. “You make me feel so good, you f-fuck me like no one else does, I want you to move deeper, faster, please!” you scream. Yeosang hearing that sent him over the edge, he pushes your legs upward as he goes deeper in you, moving faster with each thrust. The way you wrapped around him, he loved it, he loved how your boobs bounced, how you whimper and moan, even scream for him. .This is what he wanted, for you to become a mess, just for him. “You like it raw huh? You like when I fuck you? You know who this pussy belongs too?” he asked. Nodding your head, he thrust faster than before, the bed making noise with each of your movements. “Say it loud, I want everyone to hear who it belongs too,” he said. “N-No, that’s embarrassing,” you blush. His hands gently wrap around your neck. “Say it baby, tell them who it belongs too,” he said. “It belongs to Yeosang! I belong to Yeosang!” you scream out. You felt so close, but you knew he did too. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you moan. “M-Me too,” he said. With one more thrust, Yeosang had released all his seed in you, both of you panting from the sudden rough sex. “Fuck, I love you,” he breathed as he laid his head down on your exposed chest. “You...What?” you asked. He raised his head up, looking into your eyes, this time it wasn’t with lust, it was with love. “I said I love you...I thought if I fought back from you, I would move on, be happy with Yuna’s mom, but truth be told, I never forgot you, I miss you everyday, And when...I seen you with that guy...I knew at that moment I was losing you,”. You kiss his forehead. “Yeosang, Baby, You weren’t losing me....Neither was Yuna, I love you both,” you said. He gives you a caring kiss, he moves behind you, covering you both up. ‘We can talk more about this tomorrow, in the meantime, let’s get some rest,”. 

{Next Morning}

You wake up as your eyes tried adjusting to the sudden light in the room, groaning you had raised up. The spot in the bed was empty, Yeosang’s clothes weren’t on the floor, his shoes were gone, you remember his words as a smile showed up on your face. You suddenly seen a note laying down. 

Y/n, I had to leave this morning, stop by the shop and see what the guys needed, you can go to the house and wait for me there. I believe Ji-hyun is waiting to leave this morning so please go watch Yuna in the meantime. Love you ~ Yeosang 

Checking the time you knew that you should get dress, go to your home, shower and get ready there, Stop by the school to see what’s needed and head to the house. Things felt like they would soon be going back to normal once again, just maybe and possibly. Meanwhile. 

Yuna had fixed the butterfly clip in her hair as she frowned looking in the mirror. She stood on her stepping stool. “I want my appa,” she frowned. “Hey, I’m heading out, watch yourself,” her mom said as she begin to walk downstairs. Yuna followed behind. “You can’t leave me at home until my babysitter gets here,” Yuna protested. The young girl did fear being at home alone, she missed her father, she did. She missed him and you, she felt like without you both, she was alone and had no one else to love her in this world. Ji-Hyun rolled her eyes as she pulled the little girl by her ear, sending pain through it. “You listen to what I have to say,” she said. Yuna cried in pain before biting down on the older woman, Ji-Hyun pushed her away as she cussed at the younger girl. “You little bitch,” Ji-Hyun said as she pulled her hair. Yuna begin to cry, Grabbing the nearest pair of scissors, Ji-Hyun cut her hair. Yuna cried harder, she treasured her hair. She loved her hair. 

Before Ji-Hyun could hit her, You had spotted the situation, Without a single thought, you punched Ji-Hyun. “What is wrong with you?” you asked. You begin to get on top of her, Yuna’s broken state sending your mind into a sudden attack. You begin to beat her, your eyes filled with tears. “You bitch, You took everything from me!. You took Yeosang, You took Yuna...You hurt my daughter,” you yelled as you continued to hit her. Suddenly you heard a bag hit the ground before being picked up off of her, you kicked and screamed. “Calm down,” Yunho said. Ji-Hyun groans as she gets up, wiping the blood from her nose. “Leave, Fucking leave right now,” you said. She shook her head. “Yuna will be living with me, you know why? Because you are crazy,” she said. You felt confused by her words. Until she flashed a small hidden camera. “I kept this thing going in hopes to find a reason to remove Yuna from Yeosang’s life, thank you for giving me that reason,” she smirked. You kicked but Yunho’s grip on you begin to get tighter. Ji-Hyun walked out of the place, you looked over to see Yuna. She was hiding. “Let me go,” you told Yunho. “Are you calm?” he asked. Nodding your head he let go of you, and you rushed over to Yuna. 

“Yuna,” you spoke. She hugged you as she cried into your arms. “Where is appa?” she asked. Frowning you looked around, “I don’t know baby, But I’m sure daddy will be home soon,” you said as you held her, trying to calm her down. “I’ll call him, I’ll have him come home, in the meantime you girls get cleaned up,” he said as he walked out getting ready to call Yeosang home. Picking her up you sat on the couch, Yuna on your lap, her face buried in your warm embrace. “How long has this been going on?” you asked. “Since she came back, I was scared to say anything but you and appa weren’t around,” she explained. Your heart broke at her words, you knew it was true. You guys were both so immature that neither of you really thought of her feelings in the mix of everything. You felt really bad because of that too. “Let’s get you cleaned up,” you said. 

-T I M E S K I P- 

Yeosang rushed inside as he looked to find the place empty, he did see hair in the floor, and he knew it was Yuna’s hair. He speeds upstairs to find you coloring in the room with Yuna. “Yuna,” he said. She turned back a smile on her face. “Appa,” She cheered. She rushed over as she jumped into his arms, landing perfectly. “Are you okay?” he asked. She nodded her head. “Ms. Y/n protected me from Ji-Hyun, She even called me her daughter,” she chimed. You blushed a little but smiled. “She cut her hair...She had been so cruel to her, I feel bad Yeosang, I feel really bad,” you admitted. He looked between you before sighing. “You play in the room for a bit, me and Y/n are gonna go talk in my room,” he said. Both of you closed her door and walked towards his room, closing the door as you both sat on the edge of the bed. “We haven’t been considering her feelings in all of this, Yeosang, She set me up, She was waiting to get a reaction out of me soon, So she could show to the court that Yuna is in a bad environment and gets to take her away from you,” you frown. “From us, But I’m not gonna let her take our daughter away,” he said. You look over at him in surprise. 

“In the end, I wanted you, You are all that I wanted, Yuna loves you, like a mother, and I fell in love with your motherly ways, I loved when I could see you have a bond with my little girl, I loved how when we were all together, we looked and acted like a family, Last night, you made me feel something, You made me feel like...the only person I need in the end is you,” he confessed as he rubs your bruised knuckles. “I want you in my life, please be my girlfriend...and please....if it’s not too much to ask, could you maybe take up the role as Yuna’s mom?” he asked. Nodding your head with excitement you jumped on him, sending him into a laughing fit and falling back on the bed. “Of course” you kissed him. He wrapped his arms around you before breaking the kiss. “How long until Yuna comes in here?” you asked. “She’s gonna nap soon, every time she colors, she gets ready for bed, so...however long,” he said. “How many rounds?” you asked. He smirked. “However many,”. Taking that as a sign you figured you might as well do it again. 

Your life was changing so quickly, you were thankful for it but at the same time, you had a lot to do next. Fight for Yuna to stay, become the figure you need, and to get Ji-Hyun locked behind bars. You had to admit, things with Yeosang was very much rough, but you are ready to take on whatever is next. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

[jeonsjiddies]

say my name | myg (m)

BANNER BY THE AMAZINGLY TALENTED @excusemin 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

summary: Jealous Yoongi eats you out while you’re on a work video call. 

rating- explicit / 18+

word count-  1k

pairing- Yoongi x reader

genre- smut

Warnings: mentions of jealousy, swearing,  oral (f recieving), exhibitionism (kind of), super unprofessional meeting activities lol

A/N: Hey look, I can actually write stuff under 5k. Who knew. Here’s a Yoongi drabble that i whipped up in like 30 minutes.

“Wow, Y/N, that was very insightful, thank you for the positive feedback!” your co-worker, Dong-hyun grins, seemingly soaking in every word you said and basking in your praise.

“Absolutely. You did a wonderful job on this presentation!” you smiled.

You were working from home amidst the pandemic, and were currently on a Zoom call with your team, discussing a presentation that your coworker had created to discuss the data collected for the previous month. You’d commented on how well put together the presentation had been, and your coworker had been delighted to hear your praise. He always did hang on your every word. 

You heard a huff from the corner of the room and looked over to see your boyfriend glaring in your direction, his minty hair falling into his face, blocking your view of his obsidian eyes momentarily before he flicked his hair with annoyance. You muted yourself and turned to him.

“Everything okay, Yoongs?” you wondered.

“Could you refrain from flirting with your coworker when I’m right here?” he hissed, but there was no real bite to his words. 

“I am not flirting!” you gasp.

“I love the way you did this, Dong-hyun. I love the way you do that.” he mocked, crossing his arms in defiance. 

“Yoongi, you’re being an ass.” you huffed. “I don’t have time for this, you can pout like a big baby after my meeting.” 

You turned and unmuted your mic and failed to see the shocked and irritated look on Yoongi’s face as you dismissed him. You didn’t see his look of defiance, didn’t hear him cross the room. You felt something brush against your ankles just as your boss began explaining the next steps for the development of the project you were working on. You glanced down and found Yoongi between your legs under your desk, smirking up at you. You once again muted yourself.

“What are you doing?” you hissed.

“I think you need to be reminded who this pretty pussy belongs to.” Yoongi purred, placing open-mouthed kisses along your thigh.

“Yoongi! I am on a video call!” you gasped, attempting to close your legs but his strong arms were quick to shoot out and force them open again.

“Keep your video and sound on. Try not to get caught.” he smirked, waiting for you to unmute yourself.

“Y/N, can you comment on this?” your boss inquired.

“I’m sorry sir, my uh… cat distracted me. What was the question?” you asked, cheeks burning with embarrassment.

Yoongi took this opportunity to push your panties to the side, letting his finger graze your now-slick folds. Your quiet squeak of disapproval only spurred him on as he leaned in, allowing his tongue to glide over your clit. 

“What strategies did we discuss at our last meeting to ensure that we meet our goal next quarter?” he repeated, looking a little annoyed.

“Ah, yes… we… we said that we would um… oh-” you coughed into your arm, stifling the moan that threatened to spill out as Yoongi wrapped his plump lips around your swollen bud and sucked, using the distraction to slip the finger that had been teasing your folds into your entrance.

“Are you alright, Y/N?” your boss asked, narrowing his eyes at you in concern.

“Yes, I’m… I’m fine… I believe we had decided to focus on ads and social MEDIA posting.” you gasped, breathing labored.

“That’s right, thank you for the reminder.” your boss shot you a strange look.

You placed your head in your hands, peeking through your fingers at Yoongi, who was slipping another finger into your sopping hole while you bit down on the skin of your palm to keep quiet. His eyes flicked up to meet yours and you saw satisfaction swimming in them. The sight of your boyfriend on his knees between your thighs, face buried in your cunt had you clenching around his fingers, which he curled just right, knowing your body better than anyone else. You groaned into your palm, completely ignoring your meeting as you watched him devour you like a man starved.

He pumped his fingers in and out of your heat while assaulting your clit with his tongue, and your walls tightened around his fingers as you neared the edge. You began rocking your hips into his face as the coil inside you threatened to snap. Your erratic breathing could be heard by your coworkers but you couldn’t bring yourself to care.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Y/N?” Dong-hyun asked.

“Yes, I’m just… not… feeling… WELL. OH GOD.” you groaned as Yoongi gave a harsh suck of your clit at hearing Dong-hyun speak. 

You were thrown over the edge, your orgasm causing your whole body to shudder as you bit down harshly on your hand to keep the noises from spilling out, frantically rocking your hips against Yoongi’s mouth as he drank up all your juices and worked you through your high. Once your body stopped shaking, you looked up from your arm to see your entire Zoom meeting staring at you.

“Maybe you should see a doctor…” Dong-hyun suggested with a worried expression.

Panting, you nodded in agreement. 

“I think I’ll go make an appointment… Will someone email me the minutes for this later? Thank you.” you spoke breathlessly.

“I will.” Dong-hyun offered cheerily.

“Thank you.” you sent him a weak smile before exiting the meeting and glaring at your boyfriend, perched between your thighs with a smirk on his swollen lips. 

He ran his tongue seductively along them, cleaning off your juices that covered them and dripped down his chin.

“I bet Dong-hyun couldn’t make you cum that hard.” he grinned triumphantly. 

“I hate you.” you hissed.

“You love me and you know it.” he laughed.

You rolled your eyes but scooted back, allowing him to stand, and pressed a kiss to his swollen lips. 

“I do love you, asshole.” you giggled, pulling him by the collar of his shirt towards your bed.

“I love you too. Now, let’s see how many times I can make you cum.” he wiggled his eyebrows, pushing your body back against the bed and hovering over you.

“I kind of like jealous Yoongi.” you giggled, tearing your shirt off and watching as he did the same, “Maybe I should flirt with Dong-hyun more often.” 

His eyes darkened and narrowed into slits.

“But baby, my name is the one you’ll be screaming tonight.” 

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Part 1: Church (smut)

Member: pilot juyeon without the strikeout :D

Genre: holy water smut idk pls send help

“I'll make you feel like never before”

“so what did happen after you got back to your place with your secret admirer?” sunwoo side-eyed you, trying his best not to completely turn his attention from the road to you. 

hyunjun was leaning forwards and sticking his head between you and sunwoo, arms resting on the top of the seats. 

“uh,” you fumble through your bag, pretending to make sure all the necessary items you needed were in it. “nothing... much.”

there was absolutely no way you could’ve told sunwoo or hyunjun what you were like when you were drunk and in the mood to play games with a stranger. 

it didn’t matter if you’ve been friends for so long; you knew they wouldn’t shut up about it once they knew. 

“‘nothing much’?” hyunjun scoffs, noticing the flush that was appearing on your cheeks. “what, did you two sit around and watch a movie while you retched? because i’m pretty sure you had a truckload of vodka.”

sunwoo snorted and pressed his foot against the accelerator when the green light appeared. 

“we just... hooked up, that’s all.”

hyunjun raises a skeptical brow at you, squinting his eyes as you struggle not to look at him. “hooked up or hooked up and smashed?”

“why does it even matte-- shouldn’t you be strapped to your seat?” you turn around and start whacking him on his head. “sunwoo literally just learnt how to drive. how are you so calm with sitting in his car without a seat belt?”

sunwoo opened his mouth in exaggerated shock, quickly glancing at you while you were shoving hyun jun back into the back seat by his head. “hey! i could’ve declined your request to drive you to the airport!”

“my request? you were the one who said you’d drive me without even giving me an option,” you turn back to face the front, glaring at him while you said it. 

“‘you were the one who said you’d drive m--’ ow!” he winced when you punch him in the arm. 

the scent of the airport wafts through your nose the way waffles would smell to anybody else. travelling has always been something you enjoyed, and now that you were finally going overseas for a job opportunity, it made the wait and the effort all the more worthwhile. 

hyunjun helps pull your luggage and sunwoo becomes your mobile clothes hanger while he carries your coat and you triple check to make sure you’ve got everything you need for the next year in new york. 

you reach the departure hall, and the familiar sight of the immigration officers at the gantry checking the passports of other passengers was so comforting. but you turn around, only to see hyunjun giving you a little pout and sunwoo looking away, trying not to become emotional. 

“i’ll be back in a flash,” you whisper, pulling hyunjun into a tight hug. the ankle boots you were wearing boosts you up about two inches, so you were able to wrap your arms around his neck without much effort. 

“call us when you touchdown, okay? no matter the time,” he instructs, pulling you away from him and ruffling your hair. you nod and give him a bro-fist, turning to sunwoo, the man who has an ego the size of a horse. 

“aw, come on~ don’t cry...” you tease loudly, grabbing his arm and shaking it like you were trying to wake him up.

“ah, ah, okay, okay, stop it,” he waves his hand infront of you before raising his arm. you shove yourself into his chest and tighten your wrap around his torso. “don’t come back with a baby, please.”

“i’m there for work, not to fuck around,” you snort and remove yourself from his warmth. he hands you your coat and you wrap your fingers around the hard plastic handle of your big, bulky luggage. passport in hand and constantly looking your shoulder back at them, you let the immigration officer check your identification in your passport and he lets you through. 

“bye!” you mouth to the two of them once you were in the hall, aggressively waving while they try to wave you off. you give them one last smile and turn, dragging your heavy luggage behind you while you walked to the designated gated. 

you look out the glass windows on the other side of the departure hall and the lights from all the planes outside looked like stars hanging too low from the night sky. the airport was one of your favourite places to be because there was never a moment this place was asleep. there was always a flight somewhere, and there were always people waiting around. 

just knowing that mankind had come so far to let ourselves travel the world to the most magnificent views of the world was just so endearing to believe. 

it was a little difficult to believe you were going to new york yourself, to be part of a production company that you’ve been working so hard and long for. 

you were about to shove your earpieces into your ear canals when your train of self-reflection broke off due to a conversation you overheard.

but it wasn’t the content of what they were talking about. 

it was someone’s voice. 

you look up, only to see a group of air stewards and stewardesses dragging their small luggage behind them, all fit in their uniforms. 

then you eyes catch sight of the lone pilot amongst them. 

you would’ve tripped over something if you didn’t abruptly stop in your tracks. 

“ah, he’s here already?” 

“yeah, he said he was sending off a family member here anyway.”

you could feel your throat drying up like the sahara desert as they walk past you, a safe distance away. 

it was him.

the stranger who...

you deemed a worthy opponent...

in bed. 

he’s a pilot?!

you suck in a deep breath and proceed to stick your earpiece into your ears, trying to mount your attention to your phone and your music of choice while you awkwardly trail behind the group of them. 

but you couldn’t handle walking behind them like this, not when you just had a one-night stand with the pilot. what were the odds of even running into him for the second time in less than 24 hours?

you break away from your path and head for the nearest cafe, grabbing yourself a cup of coffee to keep you awake on first few hours of the flight.

that was what sunwoo told you to do anyway, to help you adjust to the time difference and prevent jet-lag. 

you find yourself seated in the lounge meant for the business class ticket holders, and there weren’t many passengers around. most of them were in suits and blazers, not to mention caucasian. it made you feel a little out of place, your white turtle neck and jeans with the coat draped over your forearm made you look like you were going on a holiday. 

the coffee finishes in your stomach, and the book you were reading becomes a little boring when the idea of going to new york was becoming nothing short of reality. you tilt your chin to the ceiling and let your neck ache from the constant looking down, and your attention naturally gravitates to the movement in the lounge. 

a stewardess had just come out from one of the lounge rooms to talk to the officer manning the gate for the business class, and you realise she was one of the stewardesses in the group you saw before. 

you frown to yourself, shaking the ignorant, unrealistic thoughts out of your head as you try to continue your book. 

but the coffee rushes through your digestive system a little too quickly and you pull out the earpiece, grabbing all your belongings and searching for an empty private room where you could leave your things before running off to look for a bathroom. 

the hallways look a little like hotel rooms and the smell of diffused aromas were slowly getting to you. you turn around the corner, eyes digging into the words of your book with your hands full. 

you step on someone’s shoe, and your left shoulder rams into someone’s arm, the impact causing you to drop the book on the floor. 

“oh, sorry! my apologies, miss.” 

you took a step back, feeling a little sorry about being so engrossed in your book. “oh, crap-- no, i wasn’t--”

your entire body turns to stone as you immediately register the face in front of you. the book was held out to you, your hands balled into tight fists and you could feel all the blood rush from all over your body to your face. 

it takes him a second to realise who he’s bumped into, and a look of pleasant surprise pulls a smile across his lips. 

what the hell is he doing in here?

“are... you here for a flight?” the book was still held out for you, and he raises a brow in curiosity. you swallow in attempt to dampen your dry, hoarse throat at the sight of him. he was in the pilot’s uniform: navy blue blazer, tie and white dress shirt. all he was missing was the cap.

“are you alright?” 

his small laughter pulls you away from your thoughts, and you realise you had been scanning him from head to toe. he traps the book between the side of his chest and elbow, eyes never leaving yours. he reaches out to your passport that was messily stuck in the pocket of your coat, careful not to fold or tear any of the small documents stuck in its pages. 

he flips it open and his eyes widen ever so slightly when he checks your boarding pass, and he looks up through his lashes at you with a look of satisfaction plastered on his face.

oh, no.

“nice to know that i’ll be your captain for the next 16 hours or so,” he neatly stacks your ticket and boarding pass back into your passport, gently placing it back into the pocket where he took it from. “well, the flight’s about 14 and a half hours so, give and take.”

it was so difficult to believe that the man who completely ruined you last night, and beat you at your own game, was standing right in front of you. nicely fitted into a professional uniform, and you were going to be on the same flight as him for the next 16 hours?!

he removes the book from under his arm and waves it next to his head, already used to you standing there like a statue for the last few minutes or so. 

“do you still want this book? or am i going to need to keep it until you’re done being an iceberg?”

your mind yanks you back to the previous night, when he asked you different questions in the exact same tone. 

“can i have their permission to bring you elsewhere? or are they responsible for sending you home safely?”

“you don’t happen to still be thinking about last night, are you?” your vision comes back into focus and the smaller gap between the two of you was now apparent. your pupils flit around him, noticing that there was nobody down the hall, because everybody was in the waiting area, too busy working on their laptops and ipads to even think of coming to the private rooms.

the hell does he mean ‘still’? how does one forget such a night so easily?

“judging by the lack of vocabulary you have right now, i guess you are.”

you blink in embarrassment, gulping and looking away in hopes that the dimmer lighting the hallway had to offer was going to mask your reddening, burning face. 

he straightens himself, hand still holding onto your book. 

this could not get any worse.

“well,” your urge to pee has long gone, and you were already turning on your heels to back away from him. “i’m gonna go and--”

“whoa, whoa, wait,” he grabs you by the arm, and he gently tugs you back towards him. “so, are you?”

his face was so disgustingly innocent, you wish you had your book to whack him across his face.

but that wasn’t you, that was you when you’re drunk. 

it was difficult to come to terms with how different you were with a little alcohol confidence, but you’ve learnt to live with it once you realised you were your own champion.

that is, until this guy came along.

“you’re awfully quiet right now, don’t you think?” he looks up above you where a digital clock was hung. watching only his eyes shift but his entire body doesn’t sends a dangerous signal to your head. “especially with whatever you were saying last night.”

your heart was about to rip itself out of its cage and you purse your lips, trying to writhe out of his grip. but his hold reminds you of him yanking you to the edge of your bed by the ankles, and you mentally berate yourself for even thinking about it in this moment. 

he holds the book with only his thumb and index finger, the rest of his hands looking for the handle of the nearest private room and pushing it open. 

your eyes widen when the realisation hits you in the gut, and before you knew it, the door swings shut behind your luggage. he locks the door and pries your fingers off the luggage handle. pushing it into the corner of the room by the sofa, he places the book down on the cushion with caution. 

“if it makes you feel any better,” 

his large strides make it easy for him to reach your feet in just a few steps. you grit your teeth and feel your rear hit the small dressing table in the room. the lights lining the mirror were the only source of illumination, and since it was coming from behind you, it did nothing but highlight all his features. he cages you with both his hands gripping onto the edge of the table, and your constant shifting back into the furniture pushes it further into the wall as if it wasn’t already placed against it. 

“i can’t stop thinking about it either.”

his leans forward and presses his lips into yours, the taste of him dangerously intoxicating. your eyes flutter shut, the kiss sends chills down your spine and into your fingertips.

the previous night, you could taste the alcohol he had been drinking, not to mention the vodka that you were mercilessly pouring down your own throat.

but now all you were tasting was the fresh mint of what smelled like toothpaste. 

his hands travel up to your waist and he hoists you upwards, high enough for him to place you on the table. he pushes your legs open by your knees before resting his palms on your thighs. 

the surface of the table wasn’t very wide, so it was easy for you to feel the material of his blazer brushing across your inner thighs. your hands were gripping onto his forearms, his warm hands pressing on the material of your pants while you enjoy the taste of mint lingering on his tongue. 

he breaks the kiss and huffs, licking his lips and offering you a laugh through a smirk. “you really took me by surprise when you didn’t say anything outside,” he grabs your hands and rest them on his belt, the bold move struggles to anchor itself into your logic. “for a moment, i thought you were a twin sister or something.”

he dips his nose into your neck and to your ‘unfortunate’ dismay, he remembers your sweet spot. your eyes seal shut and a gasp gets sucked down your throat, but the sound was so sharp and apparent, even you felt awkward.

his palm flies up to your face and covers your mouth, turning your head so you were looking at him dead in the eye.

“there are no cameras but this room isn’t soundproof.”

his voice was so lustfully low, you hated how needy you were getting, even in the fucking airport.

“so do me a favour and try not to make a sound.”

his hand slowly leaves your lips and your blood starts to rush south when he starts fiddling with the button on your pants. 

burying his lips between yours again, your fingers instinctively start to undo his belt, the cold metal sending little shocks through your hands. 

he aggressively pulls your pants off from under you, and he pulls it over your boots so that they were now on the floor in a crumpled mess.

the amber lighting of the room paired with the diffused scent of wormwood was only alleviating every sense in you. goosebumps erupt all over your legs upon the contact with the cool air. 

you undo the button on his pants and the zipper slips down easily with the growing bulge under his boxers. he pulls away and snakes his left arm around your waist in attempt you pull you nearer to him, and your hands push down the material of his underwear to free his length. you attach your eyes to his as your hands now pressed flat against the back of his neck, begging him to kiss you again. 

he complies, tasting the remnants of the coffee you previously drank. you feel his fingers push your underwear aside and your wetness gets exposed to the cold air, sending shivers up through your gut. 

he breaks the kiss for a moment to wrap your legs around his waist and over his long blazer. lining himself with your entrance, he lets you swallow him inch by inch. 

a strained moan slips out through your lips, and he decides to tame it by wrapping his fingers around your throat. he doesn’t apply much pressure, but you know it’s a reminder for what he told you before. 

his lips find your sweet spot on your neck again as he picks up the pace. every thrust was so well controlled that the table doesn’t ram itself against the wall. the only sounds that were audible were the soft grunts in the back of his throat and the light mewls that were spilling out your mouth. 

your hands grip onto the edge of the table, and you feel them start to whiten with the strength you were investing. his pelvic bone begins hitting your sensitive nub, and you harshly bite on your bottom lip to prevent any lewd sounds from spewing out. 

the wrap on your neck starts to tighten against your skin, and for a moment you felt as high as you did last night. 

this man was making you feel drunk even when you were not.

the heavy breaths that were escaping through his lips were landing on your neck where his fingers didn’t cover, and he starts hitting you in places inside your core that you didn’t feel before. 

you could tell he was worried he was choking you, for his grip loosened and the palm of his free hand flattens itself against the curvature of your hip. 

continuous thrusts and bucks of his hips against yours was producing a heat that was beginning to fog up the mirror behind you. you could feel your fingertips getting numb from holding onto the edge of the table so violently, and the tingling sensation in your heat comes back in less than 24 hours. 

“oh, shit--” the words were hoarse and comes out almost like a whisper, your eyes rolling so far back into your head your vision flashed white. 

he provides you a few more thrusts to let you reach your high, his lips finding yours just before you could let your orgasm expose itself through your lips. 

without breaking the kiss, you feel him empty your entrance and he shoots his load onto your legs like the previous night. 

the kisses were sloppy and slightly exhausted, your chests were heaving up and down with ecstacy and satisfaction, but it doesn’t last very long when he pulls away and your eyes begin to focus on the blazer he still had on.

the uniform he had on while he was fucking you in a private room of a business lounge in the airport. 

he gulps, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down under his skin on his throat, and you lean your head back towards the mirror. he pulls out a drawer next to your legs (that were now dangling limply) at the edge by the table, and he finds an elegant, silver box with little napkins in them. 

the airport logo was printed on it, and you couldn’t help but marvel at yourself and how huge of a whore he’s made you. 

without a word, he cleans you before he cleaned himself, and within minutes that you felt like seconds, he was already patting down the creases of his pants and blazer. looking at the mirror behind you, he fixes his hair and straightens his tie, eyes travelling to you, who you know looked utterly ruined, even without seeing yourself in the mirror. 

a smirk appears on his lips, but it suddenly -- abruptly -- turns into a service smile. 

his ability to switch back and forth was nothing less than demonic.

“later when you reach the gate, tell her you know the captain.”

you scoff, wearily rolling your head against the mirror and shaking it against the ceiling.

“and how the hell will she know i’m not just messing with her?” you eye him with tired eyes, watching him gently tug on his collar around his neck. 

“because i know yours now, y/n.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 3: No Mercy

A/N: DRINKING MORE HOLY WATER

[uwuyangin]

i wish i were her. . . (hyunjin x reader)

✩ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: although (y/n) is only his best friend, she seems to have fallen in love with the one and only hwang hyunjin. however, it appears he has fallen for someone else and all (y/n) could do was watch in jealousy.

✩ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫 + 𝐚/𝐧: based on conan gray’s ‘heather’ song. sorry if this sucks, i’m a bit rusty right now with writing but i’m trying to improve! cursing ahead as well. friend’s to lovers au! credit to original owner of gif.

------------------------

you wished it didn’t hurt as much as it did. but you felt like your world was on fire and your body was slowly burning with each inhale and exhale. your vision had become hazy from staring too long, and even a single blink would cause irritation. but you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the scene that played before you. 

his hands were placed on her hips so naturally and teasingly, almost as if he wanted her to feel them lingering. the subtle tap of his fingers and growing smile of adoration showed that he was indeed paying attention to everything the girl was saying. the right side of his body leaned against the wall for support, and if this were any other moment, you would comment about his cool demeanor. however, your gut was twisting inside at the sight. the girl twirled a piece of hair in her fingers, too distracted by the beauty of him to stop her habit. they talked about anything and everything at the same time; their favorite colors, passions, what they did in their freetime, etc. they never stopped for even one second to pause and take a breath as their conversation was far too engaging. most students would complain about the shortage of time between passing from class to class, but this seemed neverending. 

the school bell rang in your ears and shook you up a bit, making you bump backwards into your open locker. shit, only a minute to get to class. as you slammed the locker closed, you overheard their conversation clearly.

“i’ll see you at lunch? the usual spot?” she asked softly. 

hyunjin nodded with a smile, his eyes crinkling as well. “yeah, of course. see you then.”

the girl reached up on the highest of her tippy toes and placed a gentle kiss upon his cheek. he stared at her with widened eyes as that was their first interaction of PDA. a grin soon broke on his face and he chuckled to himself as she scurried away not long after.

hyunjin turned in his tracks only to see you standing at your locker with a locked gaze on the tiled floor. typically you were first to enter a classroom so it was weird to see you standing around doing nothing. especially with only one minute left to get to class. he stuffed his hands into his pockets and headed over, a frown on his lips.

“(Y/N)-ah? are you okay?”

this snapped you out of your thoughts as you glanced up at the man before you. he looked so concerned... you always loved the way his lips would pout when he worried about you. It made you feel special in a way. but nothing about this was special. not when you felt like digging yourself in the ground from being second best.

“i’m fine.” 

you lied, and it was obvious. hyunjin knew you better than that. at least you liked to believe so. you watched the way his eyebrows furrowed in confusion because you were typically so open to talk to him. simple sentences weren’t something you believed in. rambling was one of your hobbies, and hyunjin loved that about you. it was clear that you were not mentally okay so he sighed and walked a bit closer, trying to examine your face for more evidence. 

“i know you’re lying. what’s wrong?” he pressed. he cocked his head to the side with some of his bangs falling in front of his face. 

he looked so beautiful like that and all you wanted was to reach out and caress his cheeks. to tell him how much you loved him and that you would do anything for him. literally anything. nothing could ever amount to him and you knew this. you knew you were in over your head with this friendship because he could never see you like that. could he?

“i-i don’t want to talk about it.” you mumbled. 

your eyes avoided his though it was hard as all attention was on you. the second bell had run, signifying class had started. you inwardly cursed as you were missing mathematics and you knew you needed to bring up your grade. 

“look, I have to get to class-” you started but hyunjin interrupted you.

“hey, hey. i’m not letting you go until you tell me what’s wrong. what are best friends for?” 

god, that hurt a lot. best friends. that’s all you’ll ever be. because you could see how head over heels he was over this girl. you’ve never seen him be so happy and giddy, like a new chapter of his life was being discovered. 

your frown deepened and hyunjin grew more visibly confused. why were you pushing him way?

“hyunjin, I really don’t want to talk about it with you.” your response was somewhat cold, and emphasized on the ‘with you’ part.

“what is that supposed to mean?” 

it was no doubt that he was hurt. you always came to him for everything and now you couldn’t even tell him what was on your mind. he knew that your friendship was important but now it felt as if it was just a gap between the two of you. you couldn’t go to him anymore for things, instead, you depended on yourself. you felt alone even if hyunjin offered to hear you out. it wasn’t the same; it never would be the same. you rolled your eyes, and started on your way only to feel him tug at your arm. you stumbled backwards and scoffed.

“dude, what the hell? i have to get going,” you fumed.

“no, i want to know why you’re acting like this. i know you’re stubborn but not this stubborn. why can’t you just tell me what’s wrong? i want to help.” he insisted, and it was obvious he was growing annoyed.

you let out a bitter laugh. “you want to help me? oh, so now you care. just leave me alone.” 

this took him by surprise as he let go of your arm, looking you up and down as if you were someone else. what happened to the (Y/N) he knew? his best friend didn’t act like this. his (Y/N) would’ve given in and hugged him, telling him what was on her mind while he issued advice. he was always known to be the shoulder to lean on but it appears (Y/N) didn’t need him anymore.

“what do you mean? i’ve always cared about you and our friendship. you’re not making any sense-”

“god, hyunjin! i don’t want to talk about it!” 

your voice broke at the end, and if you continued to speak anymore then tears would begin to fall. you knew hyunjin hated seeing you cry because it always made him cry. the last thing you needed was being caught in the hallways during classtime in an emotional wreck. 

hyunjin’s eyes softened at the sight of you and knew that you would crack any minute. he knew you like the back of his hand, sometimes better than he knew himself. “you can always tell me anything. i want to know what’s wrong, (Y/N)-ah. please stop trying to fight me.” 

his words sent you over the edge, and the piled up angst had spilled out. you were angry, upset, and heartbroken. tears released from your eyes and slowly fell from your cheeks, your strong facade fading. he watched in silence as you became a mess in front of him. he wanted to know who hurt you and what he could do to kick their ass. nothing hurt him more than seeing you in such a state.

“it’s you! you’re the problem! you never make time for me anymore, and i feel like i’ve been replaced. we’re supposed to be best friends, right? it doesn’t feel like it anymore.” you exploded, only telling half of the truth.

hyunjin stood frozen in the spot as he was shocked that he was the problem. had he really been making you feel like that? before guilt could settle in, he soon became irritated because he had tried to make plans with you, tried to talk to you, but all you did was push him away. what exactly was he doing wrong? he could tell you were holding back from something and he clicked his tongue at her. 

“i have tried to make you feel included in everything i do. i’m sorry if i’m more preoccupied with my time but i do try to fit you in as well. don’t tell me this whole thing is one-sided.” he couldn’t help but to get defensive.

“no, you don’t! all your time goes towards her, and it’s bad enough i’m losing my best friend-” you started but soon cut yourself off, almost outing your feelings. hyunjin rose his eyebrow at you.

“nevermind, i don’t care.” 

“no, no. keep going. because as far as i’m concerned, you can’t seem to accept that i finally found someone who i love and you want to be selfish and tell me i should make more time for you? i’m sorry that i have more than one person in my life, (Y/N). but i’m finally happy.”

hyunjin knew his words were quite harsh but they were true. he felt happy, and he felt as if you should see that. if this were the other way around, he would be ecstatic for you. however, his shoulders slumped and his face softened once more at the way you crumbled before him. you were crying more than before, and it looked as if he went too far. 

“i am in love with you, hyun. but i can see you don’t feel the same.” 

your words were so soft and broken. he froze in his spot, his ears perking up at the word ‘love’. his whole body felt on fire and his cheeks warmed up from being put on the spot. despite his flustered state, hyunjin tried to reach out towards you. “wait, w-what?” 

“it doesn’t matter.” you forced out and wiped at your tears before brushing past him, wanting to just head home and skip the rest of your classes. 

as you continued on out the entrance of the school, hyunjin remained in his spot while staring blankly at the ground. he felt so dumb, and the guilt was beginning to settle in. you were in love with him, his best friend was in love with him. he felt his chest clench as he felt the second hand heartbreak you had been experiencing these past couple of weeks. he had been unintentionally hurting you and because of his defensive state, he had told you that she was more of a priority. he felt stupid and helpless in that moment. but more importantly, hyunjin felt defeated as he knew that things would never return to the way they were. though he should feel platonically about this situation, something in him was ignited about the fact that you were in love with him. so he leaned against the lockers and slowly slid down, collapsing against the tiles. all he could do was sit there and think about what to do next, regret filling his system. 

let me know if you would like a part two. :)

[blossom-hwa]

Okay I'm super sorry if I'm requesting too many things but I was listening to holiday music while driving home from work yesterday and was suddenly struck by the need for some chaotic holiday/winter shenanigans with the boyz, if that's okay? Reader involvement isn't necessary! Pretty please and thank you sooo much ❤❤❤ -🌻

You’re not requesting too many things don’t worry Sunny!!! I literally owe you everything for half the fics I’ve written in the past year so there’s no way I could refuse, also this is what the drabble game is for!! I hope you enjoy this half-baked bullshit LMAO

3-year anniversary drabble game: send me an NCT/WAYV/Stray Kids/The Boyz member + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

(don’t think I've mentioned it but all of these text aus are in the same universe lol)

(also this ended up not being as holiday-ish as you probably wanted.... SORRY)

~

Title: Holiday Shenanigans

Pairing: no pairings, just the boyz being dumb

Triggers: a lot of cursing

~

quick clarification:

papi: sangyeon

angel: jacob

moon scribblez: kevin

new kid: chanhee

starbucks tissues: changmin

sundae: sunwoo

bread: younghoon

the better hyun: hyunjae

the better jae: eric

professional rollerblader: juyeon

foodie: haknyeon

~

new kid: I'm going to commit murder

sundae: who’s he making empty threats about this time

new kid: IT’S NOT AN EMPTY THREAT

moon scribblez: who wants to hear about the cockroach that fucking crawled out of my mop today!!

papi: pls don’t tlalk about it I was scarred for life

moon scribblez: IT’S YOUR TUTORING CENTER IT’S Y O U R FAULT WE HAVE A COCKROACH INFESTATION

papi: it’s not an infestation Kevin

new kid: is no one going to pay attention to my murder

angel: I will! but I won’t be an accessory

moon scribblez: I BEG TO FUCKING DIFFER

moon scribblez: THAT THING WAS HUGE IT WAS MORE LIKE A SPIDER JFC

new kid: I love you jacob

moon scribblez: IF I SHAKE THE FUCKING MOP TODAY AND COCKROACHES CRAWL OUT I’M QUITTING MY FUCKING JOB

angel: love you too <3

sundae: /barfs/

papi: #1 sunwoo just bc you’re allergic to emotion doesn’t mean the rest of us are

papi: some of us are capable of love

new kid: JI CHANGMIN ISN’T

papi: #2 I don’t own the center I'm just the center director therefore I do not take responsibility for any possible infestations we may have

starbucks tissues: I heard my name :D

new kid: sTOP FUCKING TERRIFYING ME WHEN I’M JUST TRYING TO WORK

new kid: IT’S ALMOST C H R I S T M A S HALLOWEEN IS G O N E

papi: therefore take it up with the owners @ moon scribblez

starbucks tissues: but it’s always halloween :(

moon scribblez: I TOOK THE MOP TO THE SINK

moon scribblez: PUT IT THERE AND TURNED ON THE FAUCET

moon scribblez: A FUCKING BROWN SPIDER-LOOKING COCKROACH BITCH ASS C R A WL E D OUT

moon scribblez: AND YOU WON’T TAKE RESPONSIBILITY??????????

papi: I just deal with the parents and the kids not bugs

new kid: it is NOT ALWAYS FUCKING HALLOWEEN

new kid: IF YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE

new kid: CELBRATE C RH SI T MA S 

moon scribblez: time to pin it on ella

starbucks tissues: :(

sundae: now look what you’ve done chanhee

sundae: you’ve made him sad

new kid: I GOT TERRIFIED BY A NUN MASK AND YOU CARE ABOUT IF H E’ S SAD????????????????

starbucks tissues: :(

angel: I think I'm going to head out

angel: I don’t think even I can heal this rift

moon scribblez: well if jacob’s out I'm out

moon scribblez: I have a solution to my problems 

papi: just don’t get me involved

moon scribblez: no promises !

starbucks tissues: I can scare ella if you want kevin :)

moon scribblez: YES FUCKING PLEASE

papi: I'm going to get fired

moon scribblez: maybe so :D

new kid: no one cares about my problems I see

new kid: everyone hates me

sundae: ya it’s bc you’re the new kid

new kid: I exist only for pain 

~

bread: so hyunjin told me to tell changmin to stop using various horror movie masks to terrify him at work

starbucks tissues: so out of work is fair game?

bread: idk he didn’t specify

bread: probably

starbucks tissues: :D

the better hyun: oh what the fuck this shit isn’t normal

the better hyun: it’s impossible for someone to be so cute but so terrifying

starbucks tissues: I'll take that as a compliment :D

the better hyun: it isn’t but whatever makes you happy ig

the better jae: changmin

the better jae: I only ask that you leave the nun mask and chucky doll at home when we have our christmas party

starbucks tissues: well that’s no fun :(

bread: changmin I'm sorry but your idea of fun is very different from ours

bread: Jacob back me up

angel: I'm sorry changmin but he’s right :(

starbucks tissues: :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

the better hyun: by the way for the party

the better hyun: who’s doing what???????

the better jae: I'm bringing the xbox!!

foodie: I'm bringing cookies !

papi: I'm cooking with Kevin and juyeon

professional rollerblader: yes it’s going to be fun

professional rollerblader: Kevin says he’s going to make a cheesecake

the better jae: can I save a piece for jisung??

moon scribblez: if we don’t eat all of it

new kid: why

new kid: why did I just hear screaming from the tutoring center

moon scribblez: oH MY GOD SANGYEON

professional rollerblader: TAHT WAS GLORIOUS

sundae: what happened

foodie: why do you only show up for chaos

sundae: I only exist for chaos nothing else is worth my time

the better jae: fair enough

angel: what happened? I thought I saw someone fall ??

angel: but I'm across the walkway so idk :(

angel: is everyone all right?

papi: I think I have a concussion

moon scribblez: oh please you just fell off a tiny stepladder

professional rollerblader: can’t believe sangyeon just fell off a stepladder trying to put up a fucking Christmas stocking 

papi: I hate christmas

papi: I hate everything

moon scribblez: the kids are laughing

moon scribblez: I think I'm going to bust a lung

papi: my dignity has been stripped and I no longer want to live

the better hyun: wait juyeon why are you even there 

the better hyun: you don’t even tutor

foodie: ‘does she even go here’

the better jae: ‘does she even go here’

foodie: ERIC

the better jae: HAK

sundae: oh wow amazing their brain cells conjoined into one single coherent thought and of course it had to be a mean girls reference

starbucks: how did this start out with younghoon telling me to stop scaring hyunjin at work

bread: honestly I don’t know

~

moon scribblez: winter break is upon us

moon scribblez: and I can now bask in the fact that I don’t have to teach spoiled rich assholes basic math for two whole weeks !

papi: speak for yourself

moon scribblez: your fault for being center director

angel: I hate to agree with Kevin and be mean but you really did bring that upon yourself sangyeon

papi: want death

professional rollerblader: no don’t die! we need your food for the party tomorrow

papi: can’t believe all you care about is my food not even me

sundae: did you expect anything different

papi: on a regular basis no

papi: but it’s the holiday season

new kid: holidays are a social construct made to force us into the world of capitalism and giving our money to fat fucking corporations like amazon

starbucks tissues: if I could give Jeff Bezos a heart attack with my nun mask I would

new kid: that’s the only use of that mask that I approve of

starbucks tissues: turn around

the better jae: was that

the better jae: was that new

bread: I don't think I've ever heard chanhee scream that loud

foodie: I’m at the food court and I heard that what the fuck

foodie: the build a bear is like all the way down the mall what the fuck

starbucks tissues: :)

bread: I think that scream rivaled changmin’s dolphin levels

sundae: brb still dying of laughter

sundae: I'm so happy I caught that on video

new kid: Kim sunwoo

new kid: don’t you fucking dare

sunwoo: [ 1 video attached ]

new kid: someone’s dying tonight

professional rollerblader: I can’t believe I missed this I'm so mad

foodie: I think the fake Santa Claus looking over in abject horror just adds to it

starbucks tissues: ^^^

new kid: someone’s dying tonight

angel: there there

angel: no one’s dying tonight

new kid: someone IS

new kid: AND NOT EVEN JACOB CAN STOP ME

the better jae: bet changmin’s mask can

new kid: I'm ripping that fucking mask to shreds

starbucks tissues: :(

bread: now he’s hugging the fucking mask like it’s his baby 

bread: [ 1 image attached ]

the better hyun: as I have said before

the better hyun: it is not normal for someone to look that cute while holding a fucking horror movie mask

papi: I've come to accept that none of you are normal

papi: I think it’s best for your sanity to accept that too

moon scribblez: I'm so late but I'm also rolling on the floor with laughter

papi: can confirm he’s actually on the floor

papi: Kevin you give our center a bad name

moon scribblez: I deadass do not care

moon scribblez: you gave me ashley today so I'm giving you chaos

moon scribblez: suck it <3

angel: she can’t be that bad?????????

moon scribblez: Jacob I know you’re an angel

moon scribblez: but you don’t understand

angel: I guess I don’t :/

~

foodie: I'm going into a food coma!

foodie: don’t attempt to contact me for the next twenty four hours peace <3

sundae: we wouldn’t have in the first place

foodie: :(

angel: sunwoo don’t be mean :(

sundae: fine

sundae: sorry hak

foodie: :)

new kid: the power of one Jacob bae

starbucks tissues: he prevents wars with just his smile

bread: all hail the angel

the better jae: *bows*

angel: guys pls

moon scribblez: no they’re right

moon scribblez: he took me home last night when I was drunk off my ass

moon scribblez: a true angel

angel: guys pls I'm blushing :(

papi: can confirm ! I'm sitting next to him

papi: also he made me hangover soup so can confirm the angel bit too

professional rollerblader: honestly if Jacob wasn’t here we wouldn’t have survived last night

professional rollerblader: he de-escalated Mario kart

professional rollerblader: stayed sober

professional rollerblader: took people home

foodie: all hail Jacob bae

the better jae: I thought you were in a food coma?????

foodie: came back to pay my respects to our lord and savior Jacob bae

the better jae: ok valid

angel: g u y s

the better hyun: has this conversation just become an all hail Jacob bae conversation

moon scribblez: do you want to fucking argue about it

the better hyun: no on the contrary

the better hyun: I'm joining

the better hyun: alL HAIL JACOB BAE

papi: amen

moon scribblez: aMen

professional rollerblader: a fucking men

angel: I'm going to start crying guys pls

new kid: NO DON’T CRY

starbucks tissues: Jacob don’t cry :(((((((((

angel: you guys are so sweet I can’t not cry

papi: I'm hugging him now no more crying

the better jae: two bros, chillin in a hot tub

the better jae: no feet apart bc they’re secure in their masculinity and love each other very much <3

moon scribblez: FIVE FEET APART BC THEY’RE NOT GAY

moon scribblez: fuck

the better jae: YOU RUINED IT

the better jae: yOU BITCH

professional rollerblader: didn’t Jacob call us sweet like one minute ago?

new kid: well he’s an angel he sees the best in us

sundae: there’s no best in you bitch

new kid: oh fuck you

bread: great way to end the holiday season ig

[getitinbusan]

September 1st

Jungkook's Proposal

Lazy days with Jungkook were a rare luxury. His large reserves of energy meant he was always up to something even when he was on a break. 

The balcony doors were open and a cool breeze drifted through the bedroom ruffling the sheet that covered you. It was already noon but you were still tucked happily under Jungkook's arm. Both scrolling mindlessly through your phones you brought it up, “You’re going to be 23 soon, I think we should have a party.” 

He put his phone down and rolled into your side. “I was thinking about going to Jeju,” he said matter of factly. 

“Oh, were you going to invite me?” you asked smiling. 

“I was going to invite everyone, my family, the guys and yes,” he giggled, “I guess you can come too. Would that be okay?”

Running your fingers through his messy hair you pushed it back out of his face and nodded. 

“You shouldn’t have to plan your own party Jungkook, we can do it together." 

You had a week to figure things out, guests, accommodations, food. You really just wanted to give him the best birthday, he deserved it. 

Jungkook however, wasn’t being very cooperative. Everytime you asked questions he shut you down, if you brought it up he brushed you off. He was downstairs at the gym when you came across his to do list. 

Call and confirm guests✔ 

Book Flights✔

Book Hotel ✔ 

Schedule Dinner and party space✔

Reserve private beach✔

*do not forget to pick up the package*

Puzzled as to why these were already checked off as done you messaged Joon. 

Y/N: Hey Joon, I just wanted to invite you to Guk's party in Jeju. Are you down? 

Joon: Yep, already confirmed with JK last week.  

Y/N: What kind of cake do you think I should get? 

Joon: I thought that the guys were taking care of the cake? Don’t worry about anything,  I think everything is already organized.  

Y/N: Oh… okay,  thanks. 

Flopping on the couch your mind wandered to a million different conclusions as to why he was cutting you out.

Jungkook’s key turned in the lock, the door squeaking open announcing his arrival. He was looking through his phone as he dropped his duffel bag on the floor. 

"Hey Babe, Joon said you messaged him about the party?"

He walked over to where you were sitting and tapped your nose with his finger.

"I’ve already taken care of everything, all you have to do is pack." 

Feeling disappointed your face fell into a frown. 

"What's wrong?"

"Jungkook, I just wanted to take care of you for once, to be able to contribute something.” 

He looked flustered, “I’m sorry baby, I just didn’t want to burden you with it.” 

Upset you stood up, “I can’t believe you would think that throwing you a party would be a chore for me…I feel fucking  useless."

Your statement trailed off as you walked away to your bedroom.

Y/N: I know I’m probably overthinking and being too sensitive but Tae...does he think I'm incompetent?

Tae: What’s wrong love? 

Y/N: If Guk doesn’t think I’m capable of throwing him a party…this is so stupid… but he certainly can’t think I’d be a good wife. It’s been two years Tae, we’ve never even discussed marriage. Does he think of me that way at all? 

Tae: Noooo Y/N, he loves you so much. You are totally over reacting. Please, don’t make this an issue, it’s his birthday. 

______________

You didn’t know but in the other room Jungkook was busy texting Jin for advice.  

JK: I don’t know what to do, Y/N is mad at me for not letting her help with the party. 

Jin: Coming to your smartest Hyung for love advice, good choice. Here's my wisdom, Just make up a job and ask her to do it.

JK: That’s Brilliant!!  Thank you.  

He made a quick call, arranging that you would be the one picking up the last unchecked item on his to do list, the package.

He pulled the bedroom door open and lay down beside you, “I’m sorry, I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” 

You set down your phone giving him your full attention. 

“My brother is going to propose to his girlfriend, he swore me to secrecy, that’s why I’ve been planning everything, so she won’t find out.” 

You felt your temper rise, “Are you fucking kidding me? You finally get your birthday off, you haven’t had a personal party for years and your brother's using it to propose to his girlfriend all while making you plan it for him?” 

Jungkook laughed, “It sounds kind of shitty when you put it that way. It’s really not that big of a deal Y/N, I’m happy he wants to share it with everyone.” 

How could you fault him for wanting to help his family? He was such a giving person and it was part of the reason you loved him so much. 

“If you really want to help there’s one thing left that you can do." 

_____________

It was all set, the flight was leaving at 3pm and you had been tasked with picking up the box and keeping it safe until the party. Arriving at the jeweller the older man greeted you kindly. "Would you like to see it?”

He opened the iconic tiffany blue box while you nodded. It was a beautiful square cut diamond on a vintage white gold band, it was breathtaking. 

“The gentleman took a long time deciding on this particular ring, he said it had to be perfect. What do you think?"  

Your heart was aching in your chest. Lately you found yourself daydreaming about marrying Jungkook, him placing a ring just like this on your finger. 

"She’s a lucky girl, I’m sure she’s going to love it.” 

It’s not that you weren’t happy about the engagement, you were just completely, full on green with envy, jealous. Not even together a year and Jung- Hyun is ready to propose.

You knew you were being an idiot. Jungkook loved you, you lived together, he always made sure your needs were met but here you were upset because she was getting a ring first. 

Taking the box you snapped the  lid closed and put it into your purse for safe keeping.

Enough, you needed to stop thinking about yourself. It was Guk's birthday and it was time to think of him and what he wanted. But what do you get someone who has everything

Wandering around you came across a neon lit sex shop, perfect! Three days away, three new sets of sexy lingerie and a bag full of goodies.  

Maybe you didn’t get to plan the main party but you could make sure it was an afterparty he wouldn't forget.

The flight was short and smooth,  you were amongst the last to arrive. 

Making your way to the suite to change for dinner Jungkook flung himself down on the bed, “I’m calling dibs on the first shower!” you called out.

You got ready, putting on your new black lace thong set, loose black mini sundress over top and wrapped your hair into a messy bun.  

Exiting the bathroom you found Jungkook in the same position on the bed snoring lightly. 

Crawling on top of him, you pulled back his bucket hat to reveal his closed eyes and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Instinctively he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close for more. 

“You need to get up babe.” 

He hummed softly into your neck, “that’s the problem, I am up."

He moved your hand to his bulge. Placing his hand on your ass he could feel the lace under your dress. He let out a needy moan as he squeezed your cheek. 

“Jungkook we need to go, everyone’s waiting.” 

He pouted, “But it’s my Birthday.”

Getting off of him and laughing you couldn’t help but throw it in his face.

“Yes, and if I had planned this party I would have pushed dinner back so the birthday boy could have gotten his dick sucked beforehand. You really only have yourself to blame."

He knew he was defeated, rolling off the bed he sulked his way to the shower. 

Coming out about 20 minutes later his skin was glowing, he looked stunning in his tan hanbok pants and white dress shirt, his hair was long and fluffy. 

“You look amazing Guk.” 

Walking over you hugged him, sneaking a kiss onto the side of his neck. 

“You had your chance Y/N, now we both have to suffer all night" 

Walking hand in hand to the open air dining room most of your friends and family were already waiting at beautiful white rose adorned tables. 

"Jungkook, did you arrange all these details?” 

Smiling he nodded, “Did I do good?” 

That dull ache hit your chest again, yes he did good, he’d planned the perfect proposal… for someone else. 

You kissed his cheek and lay your head on his shoulder, “I think you’ve created every girls fantasy” 

Trying to hide your melancholy throughout dinner you stayed pretty quiet only offering small smiles instead of conversation. You didn’t want to be selfish but you knew in a few hours all talk would be about weddings. 

The thoughtless question on everyone’s lips would inevitably turn to, “when are you going to take the plunge?” 

It usually happened at family gatherings, you’d watch them corner Jungkook and he’d awkwardly explain that one day when his career wasn’t so busy he'd be able to think more clearly about it.

You hated how calculated of a decision marrying you would have to be for him. Seeing how romantic he could be with the laid out gestures before you, you questioned why he could do it for someone else but not you? Maybe he didn’t think you were the one?

Like he could hear your inner thoughts he put his hand on your thigh under the table. “What’s going on, is everything ok?”

“Just thinking about getting you back to the room later, that’s all.”

You lied. 

He kissed your cheek but you knew he didn’t believe you. Seeming a little out of sorts himself, maybe this whole situation had him questioning your future as well. 

“I think maybe we need a minute to talk, let’s go while everyone’s finishing.” 

He took your hand and led you away from the group towards a private area of the beach. 

Sitting in the sand he motioned for you to join him.

You sat with your back against his chest, head on his shoulder, his arms around you. 

The sun was beginning to set into a light shade of purple and orange. “I want to know why you’re sad.”

He asked like he knew the answer but needed confirmation. 

“I just wish that this party was about you, for your birthday, that it wasn’t about engagements…”

You were trying hard not to sound jealous but he could see through you. 

“How about you tell me the truth?” 

Reaching into your purse you pulled out the box and handed it to him. 

“This, this is what’s bothering me. Jungkook…do you think that you’ll ever want me to be your wife? Do we want the same things?” 

His arms still around you he held the box in front of you and opened it slowly.

“It sure is a beautiful ring,” he said. 

You closed your eyes, knowing it wasn’t for you. “It really is,” you answered softly.  

“Do you really not know what I want Y/N?" 

He kissed the top of your head. 

"I love you more than anything in this world. The ONLY thing I wanted for my birthday was to bring you here, to sit on this beach with my arms around you….and to propose with this ring. So… you tell me, do we really want the same thing?”

Absolutely 100% shocked you turned to face him. 

“Are you joking with me Jungkook?” you punched his shoulder.

He laughed, “I think I know better than that” 

Still skeptical you asked, “So all of this was a lie? You really made me carry around my own engagement ring all day thinking it was for someone else?”

His grin gave away the fact that he was pretty pleased with himself.

“No, you haven’t said yes yet, so technically it’s still not yours. Do you want to marry me Y/N?” 

You crashed your lips into his as he pulled you back on top of him.

“Yes!”

Walking back to the restaurant the tables had been moved and outdoor furniture and candles had taken their place. Everyone was chatting and drinking until they noticed your arrival, silence fell and eyebrows raised waiting for the news. 

“Of course she said yes!” 

At Jungkook’s declaration everyone cheered and the waiters came out with trays of champagne. The boys carried out a large white cake adorned with sparklers while singing Propose, tears of happiness gathered in everyone's eyes. 

The rest of the night was perfect, you danced in the sand oblivious to the guests filtering out back to their rooms for the evening. 

Looking around, you realized it was just the two of you left, lost in your own world. 

“Maybe we should call it a night?”

“Maybe, but I don’t really want this moment to end” he responded with a kiss. 

“Maybe… you forgot what I’m wearing under this, and that it’s also your birthday, and that I still haven’t given you your gift” 

He grinned and pulled your hand leading you back to the room. 

You left him waiting on the bed as you got ready. Finally revealing yourself, fully naked. 

He whined, “Babe what happened to the lingerie, I mean you’re beautiful naked but… ”

You cut him off, “but I’m not naked, I’m wearing this beautiful ring...and...it also just so happens that I bought you a ring too."  

You threw him the little black bag and he pulled out his gift blushing.

“Oh, mine's a little bigger...and silicone...and definitely not church appropriate.” 

You cocked your brow and grinned, "It vibrates too!" 

"Put it on me?" 

You slid the cock ring down his shaft and sucked his tip.

"Do you take me to be your wife?" 

"Fuck, yeah I do." 

[enchantedtomeethyun]

Cruel Summer Part 3-Chan

Warnings: mild smut. Language. ANGST

It was a week later and I hadn't seen Chan all day. He had been busy preparing for an interview with the boys and he wasn't going to be back at the dorms until late because of practice. After that night we had made things official but not completely. He told the boys of course who had a feeling something was going on. But he had not told his manager or the company about it since they are on a dating ban until next year. Seems pretty stupid if you ask me but at least he's mine right?

For the past week I have been living at the dorms with the boys cause my apartment is getting renovated no thanks to my neighbors neglect of their pasta and setting almost all of their kitchen on fire and mine as well. Since there are people there working I can't sleep so Chan offered for me to sleep over at the dorms. Of course me being me thinking I can get in on some one on one time with him since that night we confessed didn't end with an intense session of fucking. Instead he drove us to ihop and we ate pancakes. Yeah pancakes are great but I wanted some dick. Some Chan Dick™️.

We actually haven't touched each other for about a week and half. Yeah he's busy but man my mind can wonder just laying in his bed all day waiting for him to come back. 

The rain began to pour and I fell asleep on the pillowy soft bed. It smelled like him too. Now you're wondering what he smells like. But only I know. It was around 12am when I heard the creaking of the door open and shuffled footsteps approach the bed. His heavy breathing makes me confused. Was he in a hurry to get back? Tossing over to the side where he is I opened my eyes slowly.

"Channie.." I said quietly. He sits down on the bed and cups my face in his hands smiling.

"Did I wake you? I'm sorry baby.." he said kissing me on the forehead. He takes off his shirt leaving only his boxers on. Climbing into bed with me he reaches for my torso pulling me close to his. He drapes his arm around my waist and I feel his hot breath on my neck. Everything is calm and cozy but I kind of wanna raise a little hell. I adjust my position stretching my legs then rubbing my butt against his front earning a confusing grunt from the boy behind me.

"Baby are you ok?" He mumbles out half asleep  reaching for my hand and holding it.

"Mmmm yeah I am it's just.." I trail off.

"Hm? What's wrong? Are you cold I can turn off the fan or get you a blanket did you need something?" He continued on worry in his eyes.

"Maybe not something.." I said looking at him hoping he would get my drift.

"Oh uh ok goodnight then heh " he responded sounding nervous. How is this man so dense. What do I have to do take his dick out and suck it?  Maybe if I just flat out say it. I want your dick.

"I want your dick". I said flatly. Chan's eyes opened wide. He began to laugh covering his face.

"Sorry sorry .....sorry". He said between laughs.

"Yah! What's so funny!"  I said sitting up irritated.

"No no! You're just so bold all of a sudden. I was just surprised." He said smiling and catching his breath from laughing.  I climbed over to him sitting on top of him. His arms stretched behind his head relaxed. He had a dazed smile on his face.

"Why are you looking at me like that.." I said slowly. He chuckled and remover his hands from behind his head and placed them in my waist.

"This is just the first time we are doing this together ever since we made it official. I'm just nervous. " He says eyes looking away.

"Nervous about what? We did this before.. I've seen your dick before chan?" I said crossing my arms.

"Yeah but this is the first time in this setting. In my home. What if it's different or like ?" He goes on and I cut him off mid sentence with a kiss to the lips.

"I missed those rude interruptions.." he said as he began to feel around my waist pulling me in for a longer kiss. His lips are soft and welcoming. He feels like coming home. In the heat of the moment he takes the time to take off my sweatshirt and shorts leaving me in nothing on top of him. His boxers begin to feel a bit uncomfortable for him as his dick begins to make its self known underneath my lap. Taking my hand I begin the stroke him. He stops me for a second to take off his boxers leaving nothing on him. He then takes me by my waist lining me up with his throbbing dick dripping with pre cum. When I go down on him it takes me a second to get comfortable but once i do I begin to ride him slowly. Chans moans are low in tone but loud in volume. I kept going till I heard laughing coming from the other room making me stop and my eyes shoot to Chans panicked.

"It's just hyunjin and his girlfriend. They watch 90 day fiance every Friday night." Chan explains pleading with his eyes for me to keep going. I nod my head and continue on until I feel it building up. I know he feels it too because there is no way Hyunjin and his girlfriend can't hear him. While riding out my high all I can think of is how their laughing and talking ceased. Snapping me out of that was Chan thrusting into my rapidly trying to cum. When he does I feel it shoot up into and the warmth begins to ooze out as I climb off of him. He kisses my cheek rolling over to hold me. With that i fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up and Chan was gone. I was a bit sad since I had always Imagined what it would finally be like wake up by his side in this context. My only one. Instead I feel that feeling that I was all too familiar with. Waving up the next morning in the hotel room to an empty bed and money on the table to tip the maid. I'm sure he needed to go to practice so i decided to get up forgetting about what he did inside me the night before. Touching my upper inner thigh it felt sticky to the touch. Walking over to the corner to grab my clothes I put them on and walk into the hallway to find the bathroom. Walking past Hyunjin's room I hear similar sounds Chan and I were making the night before. The only difference is their "I fucking love you" and "fuck you too ahh". Chan never really talked to me or expressed his feelings during sex. Walking into the bathroom my head was hung over. Removing my clothes and locking the door I took my phone out of my pocket and texted Chan.

Me: hey where did you go? Practice? Cuz hyunjin is here still

Sent

Placing it on the counter I step into the shower and begin to wash away the night before. After I was finished in the shower I wrap myself in a towel and sit on the stool by the counter checking my phone for any response from Chan. Before I could look there's a knocking at the door.

"Hey uhh when are you done cause we need to shower .." Hyunjim says.

"Oh my God don't say it like that. First you sound rude and second you make us sound gross." The girl said laughing.

"Yeah I'm done hold on." I said laughing. I slipped my clothes back on and opened the door. There stood hyunjin and his girlfriend holding towels behind their backs. Weird. The girl was shorter than him by like 8 inches at least but that didn't stop him from hugging her from behind as they waited. Scrolling through tiktoks and laughing in their own world I made my first foot step loud to get their attention. This worked cause the moment the door way was free I heard them yelling about racing to see who could get naked the fastest and the door slamming shut. What an odd couple. I look at my phone looking for Chans reply and there it is.

Chan: we were crazy to think that this would work

Huh.

Me: Chan what do you mean where are you?

Chan: I'm at the spot. Meet me there.

Racing to get there grab my shoes and leave the dorm and take the short walk it was to our spot. The vending machine alley. Once I arrived i ran over to him giving him a hug. He was sitting on the ground with his head in his hands as he colors me blue.

"You make me blue." I said pouting and taking a seat next to him on the pavement. He reaches for my hand and holds it.

"We're we stupid to jump into this?" Chan begins.

"What are you talking about we've been seeing each other for months?" I said questioning him.

"I can't seem to separate what we had previously and what we have now. Last night felt the same and I don't know why but I'm confused..." He said looking at me.

"Con confused? It felt the same cause we've liked each other that's why! That's a good thing..." I said laughing.

"No it's not I should feel protective over you and want to be the only guy for you but it occurred to me that if I saw you with someone else I wouldn't be hurt.." Chan said seriously.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this! Fuck Chan you always over think everything!" I said taking my hand back.

"No listen to me.." he said. 

"I thought we could get away with this. But I look at Hyun and his girlfriend and i think that's not how I see us.." he said choking up.

The nerve of him to cry cause that's all I wanted to do. He's all I wanted but not like this.

"You're all I wanted Chan.." I said as I cried. He squeezed my hand.

"I know..." He said looking down disappointed in himself.

"I care about you. I do but I don't think I can do this. I feel like there's a standard for dating and what if Im not doing it right?" He said still crying. 

" We don't need to do it right. We can do it our way. Don't be scared of me. Don't be scared of us. You know everyone always warns you about times like this. The road feels long and you feel lost. But we can be lost together. We might get away with this.." I said to him reaching for his face shaking. I kissed his cheek with my quivering lips as a tear rolled down his face.

"Religion is in your lips." He said wiping his tears then mine.

"It's a false God but I'll still worship this love." Chan said leaning in to kiss me. 

We aren't perfect people but we might be the perfect people for each other. We just need to try and hold on through the tough times cause through the dark there is always daylight.

[strawberryjmilk]

honeysuckles and dewdrops | part thirteen

word count: 1504

songwriter!reader, idol!hyunjin

masterlist is in my bio!

"Okay," Jisung let out a breath. At his insistence, you agreed to meet with Yoomi and talk to her. Planting his hands on your shoulders, the boy looked at you sternly. "If you need anything — anything — just call me and I'll be right here."

You nodded, looking down and playing with your fingers clumsily. Jisung wasn't done, though. He continued to speak, "but hear her out. You guys have been friends for ages — don't let some dumb boy like Hyunjin ruin that."

Snorting, you nodded again. Jisung let out a breath, nodding along with you this time. "Okay," he blinked before pulling you into a hug. "Everything's going to be fine. If not — well, you still have me as your best friend. I love you."

"I love you, too, Hannie," you whispered. Squeezing you one last time, Jisung pulled away from the hug before gesturing before you. A cafe — because where else would you meet up with someone? — loomed before you.

You could already see Yoo-mi sitting at a table nervously as you peaked through the window. You looked at Jisung one last time — he only grinned and motioned for you to open the door.

"I'm an asshole," that was the first thing you heard. Not even giving you the chance to sit down, Yoo-mi began a frantic spiel. "An asshole — the absolute worst friend — and I'm surprised you haven't blocked me in real life. I'm so, so lucky you even chose to come meet with me. I—"

Wincing, you sat down and blanked out on everything else Yoomi was saying. Picking at your fingernails absentmindedly, you watched the girl babble on, her words becoming spastic as her hands flung out every now-and-then. You bit your lip, "Yoomi?"

"Right — shut up. I should shut up." She blinked, shaking her head. Settling her hands on the mug that sat in front of her, Yoomi let out a stuttering sigh. Her eyes met yours, her whole demeanor softening and turning sad. "Are you okay? Have you been okay?"

The answer was short, "I've been fine." Yoo-mi winced at your tone.

"Right," she breathed out again. You hated being like this with her — hated your harsh tone and the way Yoo-mi sunk lower into her chair. But, you were so hurt — even though you thought you were being dramatic, you were still so hurt. Yoomi peered you at you with her head held down, "I'm sorry, Y/N. I cant tell you how awful I feel."

You pursed your lips, glancing at her before looking back down at your chipped nails. Sighing, you lick your lips nervously before clearing your throat. You'd never felt this awkward around Yoomi before. "Do you want to explain what happened? Or should I just expect to see you with Hyun—with Hyunjin from now on?"

How could one question feel like barbed wire climbing up your throat? You could barely say his name — you didn't want to picture the two of them actually being together. You're being pathetic, you reminded yourself, it shouldn't matter as long as they're happy.

"I— I was jealous!" Yoomi winces, closing her eyes tightly. The atmosphere grows dull and stiff again, silence echoing around the two of you even in the busy cafe. You stare at her, wide-eyed. "But not for the reason you're thinking. It was stupid, but at first I thought maybe I did like him. Maybe they weren't rumors and people have just always known. But I was wrong. Hyunjin is a friend — my best friend other than you."

Yoomi pauses as you continue to stare at her. Fingers gripping the sides of her mug, she doesn't allow her eyes to drift away from the porcelain cup. "I was afraid that he would take you from me, and that you would take him from me. I was afraid you would shut everyone out; that I would be a third wheel. And that was dumb of me to think because you're nothing like that, Y/N."

She looks up at you now, eyes watery and sad and begging for you to forgive her. You continue to just stare, blankly. What else could you do? Admit how hurt you were — even when you had no reason to be? Mention the feeling of second place crawling up your throat as you watched Yoomi and Hyunjin? No, you couldn't say that — if you did, you'd have to mention how you always feel second best compared to Yoo-mi.

You'd have to say how everyone always chose her — your best friend was always the main priority. And you didn't want to admit that yet. Not when just the thought made you nauseous.

"Don't think like that," her voice interrupted your thoughts. You glanced up — when did your vision get so blurry? Why were you biting your lip so hard it was starting to get sore? You cleared your throat, washing the unshed tears away with it. Yoo-mi softened, her eyes growing sorrowful and almost pitying. "Don't do that, Y/N. Don't push your feelings away."

"I wasn't—"

"You can't lie to me," Yoomi interrupts. She takes a sip of her drink before focusing her attention solely on you. "I know what you're thinking, Y/N. About how you shouldn't feel bad because you and Hyunjin aren't dating. About how you're being dramatic when you have every right to be upset. And stop holding your feelings back. If you need to cry, then cry. I appreciate it, but I don't need you to be strong for me all the time."

She smiles at you gently, leaning over to hold your hand across the table. Clenching her fingers with your own, you look down and allow small tears to drip down your cheeks. You sniffle — once, twice — before you shake your head. Your voice is shaky and teasing, "I hate that you know me so well."

Yoomi giggles, tightening her hold on your hand even more. The atmosphere softens and dampens at the same time, Yoo-mi's smile growing dim and guilty. She looks back down at the table, a shameful look overtaking her face. "I'm the worst friend, Y/N. You didn't have to say anything — you still don't. I noticed that you were starting to like Hyunjin, and I shouldn't have— tried to kiss him."

You tilt your head slightly, "I can't blame just you. Hyunjin did it, too. And if you guys truly like each other, I don't want to be the thing that's stopping the two of you from being together."

Yoomi's shaking her head before you finish speaking. "We don't like each other, I promise." She pauses again, a scruff, sarcastic laugh spilling from her lips as she rolls her eyes. "It would be so much easier if we did like each other, though."

Even though you know what she means — how could you not when all you could think about is how perfect they were for each other? — you urge Yoomi to continue speaking. She needed to rant — needed to let her thoughts out before they suffocated her. And you really needed to take your own advice. "What do you mean?"

"It sucks, you know?" Yoo-mi scrunches her nose, lips pouting. She looks at you, leaning forward in her seat a bit. "Hyunjin is nice — and he's really cute — but, I don't feel that way about him. And, he doesn't feel that way about me. Everyone expects us to be this ultimate couple who's oh, so in love and we're just... not."

Shrugging, you think of what to say to her. "You're allowed to just be friends with him, Yoo. You don't have to listen to everyone else."

"I know, but the reminder is nice sometimes." She grins, pulling on your hand so you're leaning across the table a little now, too. Yoo-mi looks at you fondly and sincerely, her smile still stretched across her lips. "Thank you for being here, Y/N. And, thank you for still being my friend. I'm really sorry for the reason that you are here, though. I wish we could both do what we want."

You smile back at her, realizing how much you truly missed your best friend. Forgiving her wasn't the easiest thing, you had to admit, but it was worth it. As if she read your mind, Yoomi pouts, tilting her head. "Will you please come stay the night at my dorm? I have, like, twenty tubs of your favorite ice cream."

Grinning, you allow a laugh to escape your lips. You let out an exaggerated sigh, rolling your eyes playfully. "I guess I could. Only for the ice cream, though."

Squealing, Yoo-mi doesn't waste her time as she pulls you out of your seat and out of the cafe. She rambles as you walk out of the door, the conversation sailing between topics rapidly. You smile again — things were falling into place. Maybe not neatly, but everything would be fine soon.

—  TAGLIST: @mochibabycakes​ ; @hannahdinse8​ if you would like to be added, let me know! ♡

me: says im going to be better at updating also me: does the Exact Opposite um,,,,, h-hello? happy valentines day ig! im the worst im so sorry— i hope you enjoyed this! thank you for reading, ♡

[myuntoldstory]

Mystic Messenger | Behind the Scenes

AO3 | FF.net

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Zen | Ryu Hyun/Main Character (Named)

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 6, 990

Summary: "This... this is real."

Set after Zen's Valentine's Day dlc.On Valentine's Day, 

Lux received comfort and reassurances from Zen after he discovered the rumours surrounding him and his co-star, Jocelyn. That's the end of it. Lux feels no insecurities as the rumours reach an all-time high, not even when Zen leaves for a month-long location shoot.

But one kissing scene changes everything...

Behind the Scenes

“I don’t want to leave you… it’s bad timing.”

Lux smiles helplessly at Zen, squeezing his hand.

On Valentine's Day, Zen discovered the rumours surrounding him and his co-star, Jocelyn. Back then the media and public speculated in reckless fun, but now everyone believes that the two are in a real relationship. They have all but discounted Zen's announcement as a sham… that he and Lux are.

It angers him. He's angry for her.

As for what Lux feels about it... well, does it matter?

They love each other. That's the truth.

It should be enough.

"I want to come with you if that's any consolation," she chuckles.

Zen smiles back at her, kissing her hands.

"Screw the contract, honestly," he sighs. "I want them all to see us together, even on my work trips. If they see how perfect we are for each other they'll think twice on the bullshit they spread every day."

"Mmm," she agrees. "But sadly work's called both of us away."

"Yeah..."

Zen pulls her in a tight embrace. Lux circles her arms around him, holding on as she buries her face in the crook of his neck. Inhaling deeply, she comforts herself with his favourite cologne, his clean scent that’s just underneath. The consoling way he rubs her back almost brings tears to her eyes. The moment they met he's always put her first. Even now, when he's advancing in his career, he continues to look out for her. Why should she worry about what everyone else says? He never fails to show her how much he loves her.

"I'll miss you," she murmurs. "So much."

"I'll miss you too, babe," he says. "I miss you already."

With a sigh, she steps back. She feels the reluctant flex in Zen's arms, but he follows her lead. Holding onto his shirt, she stares into his garnet eyes. Within the glittering depths are longing and concern. She smiles as he cups and caresses her cheeks.

"Take care, okay?" she says, leaning into his touch. "Don't work yourself sick. Also, do enjoy yourself. Jeju's a beautiful place so take the time to heal."

"Your wish is my command, my princess," Zen says with a small bow. "But without you beside me, I can never fully heal. You're the best elixir in this whole universe, after all."

"Zen..." she laughs, blushing.

"Don't be sick too, okay?" he continues. "Stay healthy. Eat well."

"I will."

"Let's do our best."

“Yes.”

“And let’s think about each other—at least once a day.”

“I’ll think about you every minute,” she promises.

“Me too,” he beams. “Let’s meet each other in our dreams.”

“Of course,” she says. “And I’ll text you every day.”

“Same.”

“It’s okay if you don’t reply; I just want to tell you things.”

“Same goes for you.”

“And we’ll video call each other.”

“As much as possible.”

She laughs. “We’ll be fine.”

“We will be.”

Then, tenderly, Zen kisses her. Lux holds onto his hands, savouring the moment. His lips glide gently against hers, making butterflies flutter in her stomach. The very edge of his teeth brushes against her mouth in the most careful nibbles. She feels it, the way he yearns for her, kissing her like it's the last time. Through her response, she accepts his feelings and offers her own.

"Goodbye, darling," he murmurs against her lips.

"See you in a month."

"See you later."

"Yes," she chuckles.

Finally, they let go of each other. Zen opens the door to reveal Seongjin, his manager. He wears an expectant expression tinged with impatience. When he sees Lux, though, he smiles politely. She bows to him in greeting as Zen picks up the suitcases and makes his way out. Lux watches from the door as Seongjin catches up to him and helps him load the luggage in the van waiting outside the complex. Then, Seongjin opens the door and gestures for Zen to go inside first. Before that, Zen looks over his shoulder and blows her a kiss. Beaming, she blows one back.

And in an instant, he's gone.

Lux's happy expression dims. Sighing, she closes the door.

ZEN, Lux

Lux

Zenny~

ZEN

Lux!

My love~

We’re really meant for each other~

I was just about to call you…

and suddenly I get your text!

Isn’t that amazing?

Lux

No matter how far apart we are

we’re still connected~

ZEN

<3

What can I do for you, my princess?

Lux

I just want to know if you’re home yet~

You said you’re out of the airport by 7, right?

ZEN

My babe is worried for me~

I love you so~ much!

Actually, I just got out.

Seongjin’s driving me home.

Lux

I’m so relieved you arrived safely!

I want to see your handsome face~

Hopefully, time passes by quickly.

ZEN

I can’t wait…

I really want to spoil you…

;)

You get off at 9, right? :(

Are you okay?

Lux

:(

But I am okay! ^^

I love how you worry about me. <3

You know how the start of the year’s always busy.

Two hours left, though! It won’t be long now~

We can see each other again!

ZEN

I’m counting down the minutes~

Lux reads the messages with a happy smile. The past two hours have been unbearable knowing that he's waiting for her at home. Now, finally, she's done—she can finally see him. Unable to contain her excitement, she sends a message telling him that she'll be home soon. Her heart leaps as he replies back, saying that he's waiting for her. She sends a few hearts before closing the app.

"Lux."

Looking up from her phone, she sees Seojun, her mentor, peeking in.

"Seojun, hey," she greets.

"Finished?"

"Finally," she sighs in relief. "I'm going home. You?"

"Same." He gestures to the hallway. "Let's walk out?"

"Sure."

Seojun waits as Lux closes the door to her office. Then, they both make their way through the hall towards the staircase. In this late hour, the staff department is almost a ghost town. Two or three offices still have their lights on as, like her, some staff work overtime. The rest is dark and empty, making the hallway they're walking through dim and eerie.

"He's back today, right?"

Lux starts at the sudden question. Glancing at Seojun, she finds him looking expectantly at her with a teasing smile. The corners of her lips tug up as the words sink in. Zen is no longer far away—granted it will still take a few trips for her to reach him. Despite that little detail, she takes comfort in one truth.

Zen is home.

"He is," she says, cheeks reddening. "I can't wait to see him."

"Good effort," he compliments. "You hung in there."

"Seojun," she laughs. "This isn’t the first time he goes on location shoots."

"Yeah, but all those other times weren't surrounded by crazy rumours."

Lux tenses at that. "Right... true."

"Didn't it get worse after he left?" Seojun continues with a disapproving tone. "Weren't there pictures floating around? Everyone's speculating about it."

She shrugs with a helpless smile.

"Yeah, well..."

"That's rough."

Lux looks at her mentor again and finds him wincing.

"There's nothing in them, though," she defends.

"I know that," he agrees. "Everyone else? Whew..."

"I can't do anything about that."

"Which sucks for you."

Biting her lips, she says nothing.

"Does he assure you at least?"

"He does," she replies quickly. "He never forgets me."

"Good."

They descend the stairs to the ground floor. Everywhere else is dark, testifying to the lateness of the hour. In many areas the only lights remaining are ones in the hallway. They're for the stragglers and the cleaners who prepare the school for another busy day. As they approach the entrance Lux sees a small group of people at the doors. Wow, there must be more people taking overtime than she realises.

"You're strong, as always," Seojun comments.

"Come on."

"Seriously. This would've destroyed anyone—understandably."

"Hmm."

"But you? Like a Ginko tree. Completely unbothered."

“Oh…”

Lux shrugs.

"I wouldn't say that," she admits. "It's definitely weird and... yeah. Zen announced our relationship to the world... everyone knows I'm his girlfriend, but still... I mean, it happens, right? Isn't that expected of the industry?"

"Where the currency is gossip and rumours? Yeah."

She chuckles weakly. "Exactly."

"Of course, none of this is my business," he continues. "As long as he prioritises you and protects you from all this nonsense, that's all that matters."

"He is," Lux confirms. "I appreciate you worrying, though."

"We're friends, Lux; of course I'd worry."

They stop at a crossed path close to the entrance. A flash catches Lux's eyes and, with a confused frown, she glances towards the crowd gathered at the doors. She thought they are all overtime workers going home. Now that she's paying proper attention she finds them all tittering. Every few seconds a flash pops up, which she realises comes from mobile phones. What is happening over there?

"Well, I'm parked on the other side," Seojun says.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow," Lux replies with a smile. "Good work."

"You too."

With that, he's off.

Lux watches over him with a smile. Then, she turns her curious attention to the hubbub near the doors. Her nosiness gets the better of her and she approaches the crowd. The murmurs and giggles increase in volume the closer she gets. An atmosphere of excitement has clearly settled over them. She also sees a few people swooning over whatever it is they're looking at. How mysterious.

“Excuse me…” she says.

Someone from the crowd turns to her. Lux blinks as they gasp.

"Lux!" they exclaim. "O-of course!"

They shuffle away, catching the attention of people nearby. To her further surprise, they react the same way upon seeing her. Soon, she finds herself a clear path leading to the object of her curiosity. She bows at their courteousness before walking through. The first thing that catches her gaze is another small group that's gathered ahead of the doors.

"Honey!"

Lux's heart leaps at the voice. With wide eyes, she focuses on the crowd... and sees a familiar tuft of silvery-white hair. Next, she catches a pair of glittering garnet eyes, gazing at her with happiness. At that moment the world and everything in it cease to exist. It's her... and him, the one who has her heart. Suddenly her chest twinges in pain as she feels the length of their days apart. Yes, a month was that long—too long to spend without him.

Her feet carry her to him before she even thinks about it. A happy smile tugs at her lips as his eyes follow her. The distance between them shortens, but it still feels far away. She wants to jump into his arms and wrap herself around him, but she steels herself. It's hard. She wants to make sure he's real and that this isn't all a dream...

"Zen!" she exclaims, stopping beside him. "What are you doing here?"

"Being a good boyfriend and picking you up," he answers, chuckling.

He reaches out and gently pets her head. Lux relaxes at his touch, so much that she feels it in her shoulders. Relief overwhelms her like a flood. The next second Lux blinks in surprise. This gesture is not new between them... but somehow, at that moment, it's comforted her more than any other time he's done it.

“Surprised?” he teases.

To her further confusion, tears wet her lashes. “Yes—”

“But Zen isn’t Jocelyn your girlfriend?"

The question brings a stop to everything. Lux freezes in shock. She turns to the group gathered before them. Embarrassed, she recognises her carelessness. She is so eager to see Zen that she forgets that they are there. None of them are from the school, she notes. They're also young. On top of that, they look at her with suspicion and disapproval.

Reality, at that point, hits Lux like a bullet.

Suddenly, she's conscious of herself, of her relationship with Zen. The rumours surrounding him and Jocelyn become this very real thing. She grips the strap of her bag as her chest twinges with a different kind of pain. For all her blasé attitude towards this scandal she now finds herself at a loss of how to respond.

“Oh, that funny rumour.”

Zen's playful sigh brings Lux to the present. She watches him as he returns to his fans and continues to sign for them. He briefly meets her eyes. His expression softens for a second before he wears a professional and friendly face. It's different from the happy look he had before. Though she missed the atmosphere before she arrived, she assumes it's different from what it is now. Zen exudes distance. From the stricken way some of the fans look… it doesn't seem like a good thing.

“I’m not dating Jocelyn. I have a beautiful girlfriend already.”

An awkward feeling wraps around them. It's so suffocating that Lux grips her bag strap tighter. Looking over the group again she notices that some continue to smile obliviously. Others seem to be on the verge of cringing. This is her fault, isn't it? Her presence has caused a divide for what should have been a happy moment between Zen and his fans. The one who asked the question looks like her world fell apart.

“O-oh… no, I’m sorry…”

"It's all right," Zen assures her. "I'm sorry to my girlfriend, though; she's been so patient and forgiving with me through this. That makes her the greatest, don't you think?"

A murmur of agreement spreads throughout the group. The girl who asked the question nods fervently. Lux sighs with a helpless smile when Zen glances at her and winks. In the next second the atmosphere lightens and becomes friendlier. All the fans are now beaming and tittering around him.

"Ready to go, babe?" he says, signing the last of the autographs.

"Whenever you are."

"Okay."

Once done, he helps her up the motorcycle. Then, he puts the helmet on her, arranging her hair to make sure it's not caught on anything. She protests when he gives her his jacket, but he insists with a gentle shush. Despite the helmet muting the sound, she can somehow hear some whoops and hoots. Her face reddens when she looks around and finds that they still have an audience. Zen opens the visor, prompting her to turn to him.

"Hold on to me, okay?" he says.

Lux nods.

He gets on and she wraps her arms around his waist. As he starts the engine she presses herself onto his back. She waves to her co-workers who wave back enthusiastically. Zen, meanwhile, says farewell to his fans. With that, he rides them off the campus and into the main road.

Lux's hold around Zen turns vice-like as he weaves through the cars. He slows to a stop at the lights when it turns red. As they wait, Lux runs her hands along his torso. She starts when he takes her hand. To her surprise, he presses it to his helmet in a sort-of kiss. Her face warms. She presses her head into the middle of his back, shaking it in embarrassment. Through all the layers between them she still feels the deep rumble of his laugher. The light turns green and they're off again.

The whole trip takes ten minutes. Lux relaxes as she sees their building. Zen goes into the parking area and stops at a spot, turning off the engine. With a sharp sigh, he takes off his helmet. Then, he hops off and helps Lux, assisting with her helmet. Smiling gently, he combs back her mussed hair.

"Are you okay?" he says.

"Yes," she assures him. "But what about you? Did you get cold?"

Smile widening, he lifts her hands and kisses them.

“What cold? Your arms warmed me up plenty,” he says, winking.

She still hasn't recovered from his display earlier. Wordlessly, she takes the helmet and wears it again. With a hearty laugh, Zen hugs her head and kisses the top of the helmet before taking it off once more. She catches his radiant, happy grin and it steals her breath away.

“Zen, your handsomeness makes it hard to breathe.”

“Then, my princess, let’s go home before you faint,” he teases.

Taking her hand, he leads her home. He opens the door with a flourish and lets her go in first with a sweeping bow. She turns to him the moment the door closes, gasping when a desperate kiss meets her. Zen advances on her, making her step back and press against the door. She clutches his shirt as he cups her face, placing little kisses all over her lips.

"Zen..." she whispers when he pulls away. “I missed you..."

"God," he laughs, breathless. "That sounds dangerous."

"What does?"

"The way you whispered..."

She chuckles. “Did I wake up the beast?”

"Almost.”

He kisses her forehead as she wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. He slips his arms around her waist and pulls her flush against him, moulding her body to his in a tighter embrace. Seconds of silence pass as they reacquaint with each other. Lux has to come to terms with his month-long absence in her life.

“I’m home, honey…” he whispers in her ear. “I missed you so much.”

“Welcome home—”

The sudden sound of knocking had them both jumping. They laugh as the emotional atmosphere of their reunion dissipates. After one last kiss to her forehead, Zen goes on to answer the door, urging Lux to go on and settle in.

“Waiting for something?” she says.

“I ordered delivery,” he says with a grin.

He opens the door, revealing a delivery girl whose beaming smile falls in abject shock at the sight of him. She drops the plastic bags full of takeaway. Zen reaches out and catches them with a panicked yelp. Chuckling at the scene, Lux goes further inside the apartment. As she goes into their bedroom she can’t help feeling… comfortable, like everything’s back in place. Without Zen’s bright presence the apartment had been painfully quiet. Hearing his voice down the hall erases the dark mark of loneliness that settled within her since he left.

Finally, he’s home.

And it feels like she’s back home too.

“This way.”

Lux follows Seongjin as he leads her.

After returning from his location shoot, Zen only had a day of rest. Then he's back to early morning pickups and late-night drop-offs. As her schedule returns to normal levels, his maintains its busy state. At the very least she’ll be with him, no matter how late. She prefers that to not being with him at all.

Ever since Zen discovered the rumours he has been inviting her to visit him on set. Because of work she's unable to find the best time. Now with her schedule back to normal she was freer. After some planning, she decided on a day to visit. In the morning she told Zen that she’d drop by. The happiness he exuded was enough to energise her for years. She planned to go there on her own, but when she got out of work Seongjin was waiting for her. She was so touched that she couldn't refuse.

Now she follows him to where Zen is.

The production had sealed off a large area for the shoot. Various lights and equipment surround the perimeter. Several people walk in and out of it, sometimes to check on equipment and sometimes to consult other people. The bigger lights circle a small area inside the perimeter. From the cameras that surround that area, Lux assumes that’s where the shooting location is.

Seongjin leads Lux inside the perimeter and towards the smaller area. He weaves through the bustling staff, finding a spot for her to stand in. As she follows him she catches a few people glancing at her in recognition and surprise. To prevent any awkwardness she bows to every one of them.

“You can stand here,” Seongjin whispers, guiding her to a specific spot. “They’re in the middle of a shoot right now so I’ll let him know you’re here when they take a break, okay?”

“Of course,” she murmurs. “Thank you, Manager.”

“No worries—now, behave.”

He brings his finger to his lips and she nods.

The director calls for quiet and commands action. Lux smiles proudly as she watches Zen in his element. He looks so perfect—natural. It’s like he’s born for this very purpose. She never tires of watching him behind the camera, it’s like she’s privy to a private stage performance. Shows and movies always add elements to make a scene feel a certain way. But with this, she sees the power he has, how he enthrals with his skill alone. He leaves no doubt that the character he wears can exist in the real world. On top of that, he also elevates his co-stars. Next to him, Jocelyn’s demure acting is all the more endearing and adorable.

She continues to watch as Zen sits on the bench. He and Jocelyn talk. There’s cautious flirtatiousness to their conversation. The shyness Jocelyn exudes makes Zen’s confident playfulness attractive and charming. Their teasing rises to a peak as Jocelyn walks off in a huff. Suddenly Zen grabs hold of her wrist and pulls her to his lap. Lux starts when the people around her gasp. Looking around, she finds most of the staff gazing adoringly at the two, completely taken with the scene unfolding before them.

As the scene continues on she overhears a conversation behind her.

“God, it’s so romantic—I’m so jealous!”

“Yeah, it looks so good—no wonder they’re in a relationship.”

“What do you mean?”

“Eh? What are you asking—aren’t they dating?”

“What? No, they’re not!”

“No? But they’re all reporting about it!”

“It’s all just rumours! Zen already has a girlfriend!”

“What—oh, the conference thing? I thought that was fake!”

The smile on Lux’s face falls and her heart sinks.

Discomfort churns in her stomach. Gradually hurt replaces the pride she feels. Zen and Jocelyn look into each other’s eyes, and Lux recognises his expression with a pang. He’d stare at her like that sometimes. She clutches her bag strap, eyes wide and glimmering as he leans in and captures Jocelyn’s lips in a chaste kiss. All around her she hears the staff melting at the sight.

Pain twinges in her chest, twisting her in a way that makes her want to keel. A lump forms in her throat as tears sting the back of her eyes. Zen kisses Jocelyn with such gentleness that’s familiar to Lux. He’d kiss her that way too. When Jocelyn responded by cupping his face, she wants to scream at them to stop.

Time goes at a standstill. The scene seems to go on for way too long. Are they still acting or is this real? From where Lux stands she feels the magic between them—inexplicable, but compelling. It’s so intimate and private that she wants to take her eyes away... but like a spectacular train wreck, she can’t stop herself from watching.

She wants it to stop.

The director’s yell breaks the spell. Zen and Jocelyn separate as the crowd breaks into enthusiastic but scattered applause. Lux releases the breath she didn’t even notice she’s been holding. She hears it, the praise Zen and Jocelyn receive as a couple. This despite that she’s right there… despite that some of them had seen her coming in.

Unable to take any more she turns to walk away. She weaves through the crowd, speeding until she steps out of the perimeter. After that, she slows to an amble, heart over her chest to calm her pounding heart. Tears continue to sting her eyes and she has to bite her lip, almost breaking the skin, to prevent herself from crying.

“Honey!”

His voice is like a douse of cold water. She keeps walking, only stopping when Zen’s gentle hand touches her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” he says.

She doesn’t face him. “I’m going home.”

“Home? But…”

Both of his hands are now on her shoulders. She tries not to flinch as they slide over her upper arms.

“But we just saw each other,” he protests softly.

She blinks away the tears that persistently push through.

“I know… I’m sorry, but I’m not feeling well.”

“You’re not well?”

He turns her to face him. She keeps her head down, trying not to show her face, but as expected he tenderly lifts her chin. He exposes her to him as he looks over her and places a gentle hand on her forehead. Reluctantly, she looks at him. She sees his eyes widen, but whether that's because he feels something, or he sees how close to tears she is, she doesn’t know.

“I should take you to a doctor,” he says.

“You’re still working,” she reminds him with a weak smile.

Avoiding his gaze once more she takes his hands off her. Stepping back, she puts a considerable distance between them. Against her wishes, a sniffle escapes her lips. She catches Zen reaching for her, but she crosses her arms and his hands drop to his side.

What’s wrong with her? Why is she being like this?

“I’ll sleep this off,” she assures him.

A pause passes between them and Zen sighs.

“Okay…” he relents, voice low. “Okay. I’ll let Seongjin know—”

“No, don’t bother him,” she says hurriedly.

“But, babe—”

“He went through so much trouble dropping me off here.”

“But it’s night and you’re not well…”

She casts a quick glance at him, assailed with guilt at his troubled face.

“I’ll be fine,” she insists.

He hesitates, but then nods.

“Okay, darling… but text me when you get home, okay?”

“I will.”

“Uhm…”

Zen looks like he’s struggling to say something. Lux waits, anxious, but he shakes his head.

“No, nothing… thank you for dropping by,” he says, smiling tenderly. “It made me really happy to see you.”

The bottom of her lip trembles at his words, at his ready acceptance and protectiveness. Even when she’s acting like this he treats her with gentleness. Though she's imperfect for him... though she gives no explanation for her actions, her attitudes... still he shows her how much he loves and cares for her.

She doesn’t deserve him…

As she begins to walk off he reaches out, this time grasping her wrist. Zen pulls her towards him and to her panic, she realises that he’s going to kiss her… kiss her like he kissed Jocelyn. Those perfect lips had been on another’s minutes ago—and not just anyone. It’s not right. All this feels out of place. Before he reaches her she turns away, leaning back so he doesn’t come into contact with any part of her. Tense silence falls between them. She doesn’t need to look at him to know how confused and hurt he must look. Self-loathing and guilt almost succeed in making her cry. She pulls from him and quickly strides off.

“Bye.”

Over an hour later she’s back in their apartment. Cleaned up and dressed, she now lies on the couch. She stares at the television, which shows a variety show in low volume. Despair churns inside of her along with guilt, jealousy, and self-loathing. She hates herself for how she acted towards Zen. Rejecting him was not what she intended, but it was instinct. She wanted to protect herself, but it ended up hurting him.

How pathetic is she…?

Tears now escape her eyes as the scene replays itself in her head. It torments her. The way it looked so romantic, so real… of course, everyone would read a relationship into it. It makes sense for people to think that it’s them that are together. Zen always kisses her that way… always looks at her with the same kind of gentleness that moves her. But somehow he and Jocelyn make it a reality. She sniffles as irrational possessiveness wells up in her. For the first time, she feels like nothing in her relationship with Zen is legitimate. Nothing. Not the kisses, the touches… not even the words.

Because no one sees it, it doesn't exist.

But they see it in a show and somehow that’s more real.

What does that mean for her? How can she be sure that they’re real?

The sound of keys jangling makes her sit up in panic. Quickly, she grabs the tissues to wipe her face and nose. As the door opens she composes herself, managing a weak, welcoming smile as Zen steps inside. At the sight of her, his eyes widen in surprise.

“Oh, babe!” he says softly, closing the door. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No.” She shakes her head. “You didn’t.”

He strides towards her, dropping his things on the floor. She scoots to the very corner of the couch as he sits next to her. It takes effort for her not to recoil as he cups her face, brushing away her fringe to feel her forehead. She watches him as he looks over her, but is unable to meet his eyes. When the tips of his fingers skimmed underneath her eyes she nearly cringes. Are her eyes still red? She can feel how puffy they are. Does he notice?

“How are you feeling?” he says, voice subdued.

She’s about to say that she’s fine, but memories of that kissing scene flash in her mind. She can’t find it within herself to lie. Sighing, she takes his hands off her and stands up, avoiding his eyes as she turns towards the kitchen.

“Have you eaten?” she says. “There are still some leftovers—”

“Wait.”

She stops.

“What’s wrong?” he says.

A jolt runs through her body. “I-I don’t know what you mean…”

“Back on set you looked like you were about to cry,” he reveals, voice full of concern and hurt. “But… just before I got home you really were crying, weren’t you? You’ve been crying for a while…”

The tears emerge again. “Zen…”

“Did something happen on set? Did—did I do something?”

“No! You didn’t do anything.”

“But someone did? Did they say something to you?”

“Nothing like that.”

“Then… please, babe, tell me what’s wrong…”

Lux opens her mouth to tell him it’s nothing, lips poised to utter the first vowel, but Zen coaxes her to turn and look at him. He holds both of her hands, face full of worry. Underneath the apartment lights his eyes glimmer and she sees herself reflected in its crimson depths. What a wretched image she makes. Zen doesn’t deserve to see this. Tears well in her eyes, her lower lip trembles as she struggles to answer.

“I…”

Dismay crosses Zen’s face. He kisses her hands and guides her back to the couch. Once again sitting beside him, she looks down on her lap. Her vision blurs as tears sting the back of her eyes. Biting her lip, she tries her best to not let a single drop fall as Zen tucks her hair behind her ears.

“Honey,” he pleads. “Talk to me, please.”

Lux sighs, reluctant to say a word. This is her problem, not his. It’s not that she doesn’t want to include him… more like she doesn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable. The way she feels is not his fault—in fact, he does his best to protect her from all this… but somehow it still reached her. It still hurt her. She let it. She needs to sort this out on her own; he doesn’t need to know…

But he deserves to.

“I get it,” she says. “What they say about you and Jocelyn.”

With a quick glance, she catches horror crossing his face.

“Darling, it’s not true,” he says quickly. “None of it. I love you so much. You’re the only one for me. I would never, ever cheat on you—god, I honestly would rather die first. If you want to check my phone I’ll give it to you. You can ask anybody on set—”

“I know,” she replies hurriedly. “I know. I didn’t mean it like that—that’s not what I was thinking about. I know you wouldn’t do that. I trust you completely.”

He sighs in relief, but he still looks worried. “Then what’s wrong?”

“Me,” she confesses.

That stuns him. Somehow that forces the tears to fall. Admitting this makes her feel so pathetic. She can’t help feeling like the annoying, clingy girlfriend. Someone so selfish and greedy who doesn’t have the strength or attitude to be in a relationship with an actor of Zen’s calibre.

“I’m what’s wrong,” she continues, sobbing. “Everyone loves you two together. You’re perfect for each other. Your chemistry is so magical that you must be in love. They believe what they see in you two—they prefer it.”

“Babe…” Zen whispers. “Babe, that’s not true—”

She shakes her head at his placation, sniffling.

“But you hear what they say,” she says. “We’re not married yet. They don’t see us together so it must not be real. Your press conference was a setup. Our relationship is fake... even your fans believe her to be your girlfriend…”

Zen doesn’t say any more as she continues to spill her dark feelings. Word after word tumbles from her mouth with no sign of stopping. She’s desperate to. This turn of events is not something she wants. She hates how she’s weak, how a simple thing like this unhinges her so easily. Zen’s life as an actor will always have this. She must be stronger; that’s what he needs from her.

“And… god, I don’t know,” she sighs in defeat. “I saw that kissing scene—how everyone reacted to it and I understand. You two are magical together. Even I believe it. And they know her—they trust her. You two make much more sense than we do and… god, I’m sorry.”

She pulls her hands from his and buries her face in them as she sobs in earnest. As she struggles to calm herself she worries about Zen’s reaction. How disappointing is she to him now? He always calls her these beautiful and nice things. But now that he sees that she doesn’t embody a single one will he still like her? She wants to stay by his side and support him in everything he does… but after this, there might not be another chance.

“I’m sorry,” she gasps, rubbing her face and combing back her hair before grabbing more tissues. She avoids his eyes, afraid of what he looks like in the face of her weakness. “I’m sorry—don’t worry about it. It’s just… all the rumours got to me and made me weak. I didn’t mean to be a cry-baby and make you uncomfortable with all this.”

“Lux.”

She ignores him and stands up, quickly shuffling to the kitchen.

“I’ll prepare some dinner for you, okay—”

Zen captures her wrist. A yelp escapes her as he pulls her to him. Part of her expects to sit on his lap, but to her surprise, she falls on the couch instead. Her breath leaves her in a huff as she lands on the cushions. A few seconds of silence pass before she realises that she had squeezed her eyes closed.

Slowly, she opens them, inhaling sharply at the position she finds herself in. Her hands are flat on his chest while his… one is on her thigh, the other rests at the back of her head, holding her in place. The way she fell had her legs draped over his lap. They’re so close together that their breaths mingle as they breathe. He wears an impassive expression… but in the depths of his eyes is an emotion so intense that it makes her heart race. She swallows hard, nerves on haywire because she can’t tell what he’s thinking. Somewhere she hears the clock ticking. It accompanies the building tension, counting down to something…

“Zen—”

He takes her lips in a passionate kiss.

Lux freezes in shock as his mouth glides over hers. She doesn’t know what to think, how to react as the intensity of his actions washes over her. A flush spreads over her cheeks as the tip of his tongue teases the seam of her lips. Then he follows with a few gentle nips with his teeth. A fire ignites within her, sparked by the man she loves. Gradually, she kisses back—

But the image of that kissing scene invades her mind, tainting this moment. Discomfort now replaces the warmth that started to spread in her body. Once again this feels all wrong. She tries to push him away, to push away the reality that she mistakenly believed she was ready for.

In response, he presses her closer to him. A whimper escapes her throat as he deepens the kiss, carefully sweeping his tongue inside her mouth. He tastes of mint toothpaste; combined with his cologne it makes for an intoxicating combination. He starts to stroke her thigh, every touch erasing the image of that shoot from her mind. It vanishes completely when he suckles her bottom lip. Now her mind is full of him, of the way he overwhelms her heightened senses.

The need for air separates them. Their eyes meet briefly before Zen nuzzles her neck. Leftover tears escape Lux’s eyes as they breathe heavily together. She bites her tingling lips. Meanwhile, Zen rains kisses along her neck; he pays attention to a particular spot before gently suckling. She thought he was marking her, but he barely applies real suction. She takes the comfort he offers her, turning her head to kiss the shell of his ear.

“This… this is real,” Zen says. “This kiss, this moment… it’s real. It will always be real. It’ll be the most real thing in our whole lives. If you ever feel unsure… then just come to me. Tell me and I’ll remind you. I’ll give you all the proof you need.”

Her chest twinges at his words.

“Zen…”

He hugs her to him, his heart hammering against her palms.

“I’m so sorry, babe. I’m sorry you had to see the kissing scene—no, I’m sorry for allowing a situation where seeing it hurts you. I should have done more; I should have given you more confidence. I shouldn’t have listened to them and just… showed the world how much we love each other…”

“Zen, you don’t have to apologise…”

“No, I do. I won’t do publicity with Jocelyn anymore. I won’t take any offers for romance shows,” he says. “I’ll also ask the agency to change the contract and give us freedom. Let’s go on dates, okay? I’ll tell the world that I’m yours and only yours. That should shut them up.”

“Please don’t. You don’t have to…” Lux protests quietly. “I’ll be all right. Just... all this got to me and made me a bit weak. I don’t want to hold you back from acting—you love acting. If you start making compromises then you won’t get what you want.”

“I do love acting.”

Lux looks at him as he lifts his head. Their eyes meet.

“But I love you more.”

The sincerity of his words overwhelms her to the point of tears. Her face flushes in embarrassment and in a panic, she covers her face with her hands. Zen’s husky, amused laugh mortifies her and she refuses to budge when he tries to pry her hands away. It doesn’t make her feel better when he contents with kissing her knuckles.

“Honey, I want to see your adorable face,” he cajoles.

“No, it’s embarrassing!”

“More embarrassing than what you look like when we—?”

With a squeak, she presses her fingers to his lips. His triumphant chuckle makes her realise what he succeeded in making her do. Finally, though, she relents and laughs with him. At that moment they have returned to focusing on each other, on the love they have only for one another.

“Better?” he murmurs.

She nods gratefully and he kisses her fingers.

“You can be greedier with me, you know,” he says. “I’d love it if you are. I love you for your consideration—I appreciate it so much… but I hope you know that I’ll do everything for you. I’m so ready to give every part of myself to you… all you have to do is ask.”

She hesitates, looking into his eyes, which sparkles with love.

“I’ll be by your side as you have been on mine, right?” he reminds her.

“Okay,” she smiles helplessly at him before looking away. “Then…”

“Yes, my princess?”

“Then… spoil me a bit more,” she requests. “Just until this show ends. After that I’ll be fine and you don’t have to anymore, but until then…”

He laughs, nipping her fingertips. “It will be my pleasure.”

She sighs in relief.

“But…”

She tenses as their eyes meet. He winks at her.

“I can’t guarantee that I’ll stop after the show ends.”

She bursts into soft giggles, relieved at his playfulness. With one last peck on her fingers, he pulls back. He’s about to put some space between them when she reaches out and holds onto the sleeve of his shirt. He stops and gives her a questioning look.

“I’d like to continue,” she says.

“Really?”

She nods. And he doesn’t need telling twice. He gives her another kiss—this time urgently, with more heat. The flame he’s sparked within her now blazes into an indistinguishable fire. She yelps as he sweeps her in his arms. He carries her to the bedroom, kissing every part of her he can reach, eliciting more laughter out of her.

The things happening outside of their relationship… doesn’t matter.

They love each other. That’s the truth.

It will be enough.

[insphoeration]

After all this time?

Fandom: ATEEZ ATINY

Pairing: Prince!Yunho x NonRoyal!reader

Summary: Someone catches the eye of the future king and it isn’t his future queen. [Fluff but some angst because it mentions death as something more desirable than something] Part 1 here

Word count: 1.8k

The carriage came in the afternoon. Yunho couldn’t bring himself to greet you, he felt guilty but he wasn’t sure if he could trust himself around you. With puffy eyes, he watched from one of the towers as his friends exited the carriage, Seonghwa held his hand out helping you step down, behind you was another girl, probably Hongjoong’s plus one but he didn’t care about her, not with you right there. You grinned at the familiar surroundings before you spotted Jihyo, the two of you ran towards each other screeching. You cradled each other in your arms, rocking back and forth. Yunho’s heart swelled seeing you smile. This trip was going to be very hard for him. 

“We can go right to my room and lock ourselves in.” Jihyo offered. “You won’t even have to see him until the wedding.” You smiled at your friend, she was always looking out for you. 

“Nope, no hiding for Y/N, right?” Hongjoong grinned slinging an arm over your shoulder. You rolled your eyes but nodded at him all the same. 

“He’s right, I’m not going to show him how much power he has over me.” You said confidently. Jihyo’s smile faltered. 

“Even after all this time?” All she wanted was for her friend to be happy. 

“I feel like going for a ride? Whose in?” Mingi asked clapping his hands together. They all cheered in agreement but you were too tired so you stayed back. 

Once the group left, Yunho thought it was safe to leave his room, what he did not anticipate however, was you staying behind. He ran into you at the lake, or rather he stumbled upon you. Luckily you were sitting facing the water, so you had no idea he was there. You looked as gorgeous as you did the first time you met, and just as concerned. Yunho took one step forward then stopped himself, it wouldn’t be right to approach you, you belonged to Seonghwa. Instead, he walked to the gardens, where the two of you shared your first and only kiss. 

He and Mingi no longer practised archery in the gardens, he could never focus for long enough. Actually, the only thing he could think of when someone even said gardens was your lips against his, the feeling of having you in his arms, even if only for a moment. 

It was hard to avoid you, and it was silly too. You walked around the palace with Jihyo so confidently, every time he saw you or heard you he ran in the other direction, this was silly because it was his own kingdom for goodness sake. He’s tried to think of what he would say to you in case he was unable to escape one day and yet, nothing normal came to mind. 

Yunho spent more and more time in the village, even the forest was dangerous when you liked to ride so much. He never imagined that you would come back to the orphanage for the kids. He spent quite a bit of time there himself, the kids always cheered him up, and were part of the reason he never felt the need to have his own, because they all felt like his. Yunho’s royal advisers begged him to stop throwing money at the orphanage but then he would picture Hyun Jeong’s sad face and would double it. 

“Where is everyone?” Yunho asked the little boy in front of him, kicking him the ball. 

“Someone special is here, everyone wants to see her.” The little boy kicked the ball back. Yunho raised an eyebrow. 

“Someone more special than the king? Who? Bring them here so I can fight for my honour!” Yunho puffed his chest out with a goofy grin but the kid just narrowed his eyebrows at him. 

“Or we can just ask them to play?” He suggested. Yunho pursed his lips together before responding, 

“Yeah that's definitely a better idea.” He laughed as he let himself be pulled inside by the smaller boy. The boy dragged him through the halls all the way to a classroom where the rest of the children were gathered around you. He stood, frozen in place as you painted with the children. 

“Y-Yunho.” You spoke softly. You looked tired and he looked pale. 

“I- um- I-” He stuttered, the little boy rolled his eyes at Yunho, approaching you. 

“Lady Y/N, would it be okay if we all played soccer together?” He asked. “Just because everyone here really wants to spend time with you and aside from this big stuttering oaf, there’s no one else to play with…” Yunho turned beet red. 

“You know what? I love soccer.” You grinned, and the rest of the kids cheered. “If you all wanted to play, why didn’t you say something?” You chuckled. 

“Lady Y/N, can we play boys against girls?” One of the children asked. 

“I don’t see why not.” You laughed. “Well, as long as his royal highness is ready to lose!” You said, making the kids erupt into cheers 

You and Yunho stepped forward, each of your teams behind you. Yunho smirked. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.” 

You smirked back, “I don’t think it’s me you have to worry about.” Before he knew what hit him, you kicked the ball from under his foot.

“Cheater!” He called, running after you. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was because you weren’t inside the palace, but things felt normal. It was like it wasn’t you and Yunho but two friends having a good time. Only, every time you smiled at your friend, he needed a second to catch his breath which he covered up nicely by saying he was out of shape. But he was in good enough shape to snake his arm around you and lift you away from the ball just enough for him to kick it away from you. 

You gaped at him as his team scored. “Who's the cheater now?” You laughed, to which he responded by sticking his tongue out at you. 

The two of you stayed until dinner, by request of the kids. You were amazed at how much this place changed in one year. You volunteered at the preschool in Hongjoong’s kingdom but tried not to get too attached after leaving these kids broke your heart. Yunho watched as you laughed with the kids like they were your own. He could feel his heart in his chest and knew it was bad news. 

“You’re staring.” The little boy said, kicking him under the table. 

“I am not.” Yunho frowned. He totally was. 

“You’re right, you’re also drooling.” The kid teased. You looked over right as Yunho attacked the boy with tickles. You sighed, trying to fight the warm feeling in your chest. 

The walk back was quiet, not awkward just quiet. It was just you and Yunho, and two of his guards following about ten feet behind the two of you. 

“I’m sorry about your father.” You said, breaking the silence but cringing when you realised what you said. 

“That okay.” Yunho shrugged. “It sucks but we were able to say goodbye.” 

“He was a great man.” Yunho nodded. 

“What about you, has Seonghwa been good to you?” He asked through his teeth. You looked away smiling, causing him to clench his fist. 

“Him and Hongjoong have been great, I’ve learned so much from them, and for the first time in a long time I feel like I’ve lived my life, ya know?” You looked so happy that even though he wasn’t the cause, he didn’t mind all that much. “My parents weren’t happy that I left court but once they heard who I was with-” 

“I’m glad.” Yunho tried to smile. “I’m glad you’re doing well.” Yunho walked you to your room in a tense silence. He excused himself at your door, not wanting to see you and Seonghwa in the same room, in fact, picturing it gave him a headache. 

👑

After a few minutes, you left your room and headed towards the apothecary. You were more than surprised to find Yunho down there as well, jumping nearly ten feet when you saw him rummaging through the cabinets.  

“What are you doing down here?” You asked through ragged breaths, holding your chest. 

“I could ask you the same thing!” He whispered, pointing at you with a hand holding a bag of herbs. 

“I asked you first!” You retorted, forgetting he was a king. You don’t know if you could ever get used to that.

“I have a headache.” He sighed. You hummed in response, telling him to sit down. You looked through the familiar herbs for one in specific. You boiled some water and used it to make tea. You handed one cup to Yunho who was sitting on one of the beds, and you sat on the one beside it. “What is it?” He asked, bringing the cup to his nose to smell.

“Thorn Aniseed.” You said, blowing on the tea in your cup. “It’s supposed to help with headaches and sleep problems.” 

“How do you know that?” He asked, taking a sip from the cup without thinking. People all over the palace would faint at the thought of the king drinking something without having it checked for poison first. 

“I’ve been having some trouble sleeping lately.” You shrugged. “I’ve tried everything there is.” Yunho squinted at you, that’s when he noticed the bags under your eyes. How did he not notice earlier? Your face is too pretty its distracting. 

“How long is lately?” He asked. You shrugged again.

“A year I guess?” 

“A year?!” He yelled, shocked. You shushed him right away. “You’ve been having problems sleeping for a year? Why?” He asked, his heart breaking for you. 

“At first, we thought it was because I wasn’t comfortable in the castle, but Hongjoong let me try every room I swear.” You smiled fondly at the thought of your friend pushing you to try sleeping in every room, even his own. “But because that didn’t help, we thought it was a medical thing but I’ve tried every herb and potion ever made and yet-”

“You still can’t sleep?” Yunho asked, you nodded, taking a sip of your drink. 

After a few moments you yawned loudly and Yunho chuckled at your cute, sleepy state. 

“C’mon, I’ll take you back to your room.” He offered his hand to you, but you could only sway, too tired to lift your hand. As you started to fall to your left, Yunho caught you, putting his arm around you. “Okay, I suppose we can stay for a bit.” He yawned, feeling your body relax against his. And for the first time in nearly a year, despite Yunho being as active as he is in his sleep, you slept soundly. 

Part...ihonestlydontevenknowanymoreaajghsfvsdfgTHENEXTONE