#hyun ryu x oc

[maiden-of-wolves]

Expectation

So, my Beyond Words fic (Zen/Hyun Ryu x Cassandra Whilmer {OC}) has one scene only in my head at the moment that I really wanted to draw but it isn’t coming out right so... I know I can write decently so I’m gonna write it out. It’ll probably be the last chapter in the fic, but I wanted to write it now because it’s practically taken over my head recently. xD This will be from Zen’s POV so I can hide the surprise until. the. last. possible. moment. (tm) ;3

For those that haven’t read the fic (I hope you do check it out [here!]) I put English dialogue in italics and leave Korean in regular typeface. If you want to follow along with the song that’s included, here’s the link to the YouTube page for it. Also, this is gonna be REALLY long ‘cause I don’t really write short fic... so.. yeah. Strap in if you click on the “Read More”/”Keep Reading” bit. xD And if you really do like this long drabble, reblog it so other people can enjoy it too! ^_^

It had been almost half a year since Zen been able to visit America -- visit Cassandra, more importantly -- but he was here again. It had been upsetting that she wasn’t able to meet him at the airport this time, but she sent one of her friends in her stead so that he wasn’t alone. He could have handled it just fine by now and he told her several times but she wasn’t having any of it. Zen had long since learned that fighting her on simple things was a complete waste of energy so he simply went along with it unless it was something he was intensely opposed to and that had only happened once because she couldn’t have known his squick.

The truth was that she knew him so well that he found himself asking her for advice about what would suit him best. In this case, she’d suggested and set up something that he was surprised she thought he could do: playing Evan Hansen in a play called “Dear Evan Hansen”. It was a Broadway production and a romance title to boot so he was thrilled for that part, but he still wasn’t confident in his English. Not to mention that the lead was unsure, shy... things that he’d intentionally worked to stop being when he went out into the world on his own. This project made him feel like he was connecting with his formative years in a way he hadn’t before, which was both exciting and terrifying.

Cassandra had encouraged him for months to apply, even managing to sneak a copy of the script for the scene for the audition to him in order to help him feel confident and finally he did. She then got a copy of the song for the scene for him, which he found out later wasn’t too hard since they first round’s cast had already recorded a CD. Even if she’d had a shitty day, all she wanted to do for months was help him practice for this. She encouraged him every step of the way and made him laugh when he felt like shit trying to properly pronounce things. There was never a day where she didn’t impress him and he was grateful she was so devoted to him.

As he sat in the car, waiting to arrive at the theater, he remembered his last big interview back home. It was a few months ago, but since it was for a fairly big entertainment TV show it stuck in his memory. He remembered one particular part vividly: the female interviewer had asked him point blank if he was in a relationship and he’d been quick to insist that he was.

“We both have full fledged careers.” He had told the interviewer. “She’s amazing and I love her, but because of that I won’t make her choose between me and her job. Or her home. And I know she wouldn’t do that to me, either.”

“Her home? You talk like she doesn’t live in Korea...”

“She doesn’t,” he’d answered, a fond smile at his lips but a sadness in his gaze. “It’s expensive and time-consuming to go see her, but that just makes us enjoy every minute that much more.”

The female interviewer had sighed wistfully and put a hand over her heart. “That’s so sweet~ You sound quite happy with it, even though you’re not able to see her often.”

Zen had nodded enthusiastically before replying verbally. “We talk every day. At the very least we text each other but we prefer to video chat whenever we can.”

“You’re so devoted! It must be hard, though, not being able to physically be together much...”

She was harping on the hardest part, but that wasn’t enough to dissuade him. Even though he knew it was expressly against normal etiquette when filming, Zen had found one of the main cameras with his gaze and stared into it, knowing Cassandra would see this at some point soon (if 707 hadn’t already patched her into the feed somehow). “One day, when we feel like our careers can be put aside, we’ll never have to worry about being apart again.”

He turned his attention back to the interviewer, a broad smile on his lips. “I enjoy my career a great deal, but those will be the days I will cherish each and every moment of.”

The realization that the car had stopped forced Zen’s attention back to the present. Though his memories reminded him of how Cassandra had gushed to him about that interview and he had a bit of a stupid grin on his face as her friend let him out of the car.

“You seem excited,” she commented in English, clearly teasing him about his current expression.

“Yeah,” he answered in kind, still grinning at her. He was always grateful that Cassandra liked teaching him English. It made his trips to come see her easier and easier each time. He even liked the slang, though he was still usually pretty confused by memes. “I’ll see Cassie while I’m here.”

Her smirk betrayed her as she attempted roll her eyes and huff, “you two’ll make me sick. All this puppy love nonsense...”

Zen just kept grinning at her for a moment before he spoke up again. “Which way inside?” he asked, the grin finally being taken over by a serious expression. This was currently still business, after all.

Cassandra’s friend led him to a side entrance of the older brick building and gestured that he follow the wall. He offered her a short wave of thanks before heading off. Cassandra said she’d be driving him from here, which made him think that she’d be in the audience. As he approached the rear stairs and made his way up them, he was surprised to not find her amongst the sparse attendees. Maybe she just wasn’t here yet? It wasn’t like her to be late, but then again this was a really dense city. He pushed the concern away, attributing it to traffic, and made his way over to what looked like a stage hand. It was a guy who was even a few inches taller than he was, head bent over a clipboard and muttering to himself.

“Hey, I’m... here for the audition?” Zen hated that he was still so nervous over his English, but did his best to camouflage it. He was the best actor, he worked hard and it showed. This would be no different.

“Oh!” the brunet all but gasped. He blinked and stared for a moment, as if surprised to find that Zen actually showed up. The reaction brought back the actor’s nerves in full force but he pushed the feeling down. “You’re that guy that Cassie said would be coming...Zen, was it?”

“Yeah,” was all that Zen could manage aside from a nod.

“Your audition should be coming up soon.” The stage hand eyed him a bit strangely after speaking, as if sizing him up or something. “You sure you’ve got the lines?”

Zen barely managed to not glare at him. What was this guy’s damage? Did he really think he’d be here if he didn’t? “Yeah. I’ve got them. If you know Cassandra you know she wouldn’t have put her rep out there if she didn’t think I could do well.”

The other man chuckled, which only further concerned Zen. “Well, just listen for the chime and walk out. Shouldn’t be more than a few minutes now.” 

As he was left to himself, his mind careened off the track that he’d done his best to keep it on. Did Cassandra not actually put in a good word? Why would she have suggested this if she didn’t have some kind of pull? The guy said he knew about him as well as Cassie so... why didn’t he think he was good? Had he never seen any of his performances? Did Cassandra not actually talk about him to her friends? Zen knew he talked about Cassie almost as much as he did himself with the RFA and had ever since he had to go back home after the first filming she’d helped him with.

A soft chime brought him back to the present and he took in a deep breath to collect himself. A quick glance out to the audience still showed him that Cassandra wasn’t there, which was really starting to depress him. Did she really not come-- his thoughts were interrupted as he started walking out on stage and recognized the woman walking towards him from the opposite side.

He would never in his life forget that perfectly flipped bob of raven hair or her sea green eyes. She was dressed very casually, in a simple blue T-shirt, stone washed jeans and sneakers. “C-Cassie?” Zen asked, both pleased to see her and shocked that she would be his partner for the audition. He realized in the back of his mind that he was a bit over-dressed with his tailored jacket and slacks, but this was supposed to be business.

She smiled at him, never missing a beat as she walked within a meter of him. “What? Did you think I was only helping you practice? I wanted to try this whole thing too.” When he just stood there for apparently a few moments too long, she reached up and playfully tapped his cheek. “You are blushing, you know~”

That pulled him back to functioning and he grasped her hand lightly before she could pull it away again. He pressed a quick kiss to her palm and looked to her under hooded lashes. “Thank you, babe.” The least he could do was play along, if it was actually true then he’d love it. If this was just a joke to help him do better, he was grateful for that, too. “I hope you get this part too, then... I’d be able to give my best performance ever playing opposite you.”

It was her turn to blush at that, which had Zen’s lips parting in a rather wolfish smile. Oh, he would get her back for this little prank tonight. He wanted to quietly tell her just how he planned to, but the music suddenly started up. For the moment he had to push the beast back down.

She carefully pulled her hand out of his grip. “I believe the first few stanzas are mine?” Cassandra asked, though it was clearly more of a reminder and rhetorical question than an actual inquiry.

Zen nodded. Cassandra wasn’t a great singer by any means, at least not the last time he heard her sing, but it has always been soothing to him regardless. For the moment, he had to get into character. He took another slow breath in and let it out just as deliberately. He was to be Evan Hansen; shy kid, insecure about anyone ever loving him. It made him think about himself, about Hyun, about his parents telling him he wasn’t ever going to succeed at what he wanted to do... it was him, in a way. That part was still there, no matter how flamboyant Zen became.

                     “I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you”

He was supposed to keep in character, but his eyes widened as he listened and a small flush painted his cheeks. She really had been practicing. She was on key and had good pacing. Thankfully he had his head down as per the cues he’d read in the script so he had some time to gather himself.

                    “I don’t need you to search for the proof that I should”

Cassandra had put so much effort into this, he was honestly wondering if she hadn’t gone for intense singing lessons while he was away. It made his heart thud heavily against his ribs. If this was all to just help him, he owed her even more than he already did. His precious babe was amazing.

                                “You don’t have to convince me                       You don’t have to be scared you’re not enough”

How many times had he thought that? Zen’s mind pulled him away from the act for a moment. He’d asked her several times during their months apart if she didn’t want to just go date someone else closer by. That it’d be better if she could get all the physical love she deserved. The second time she’d asked if he wanted to date someone else because it seemed like he was hinting that by continuing to ask. Zen had been quick to say there was no point. That he couldn’t make the time because of his work. She affirmed it was the same with her but that, as a proof of concept, they both were making time for each other regardless of their jobs and schedules. The relationship was difficult, but they were both willing to put the work in and that was what mattered.

                                   “‘cause what we’ve got going”

Cassandra’s touch drew him out of his thoughts, a gentle set of fingertips touched his chin and he happily followed their push upwards. 

                                                    “is good”

Zen smiled at her naturally, though they both knew it was also a cue for the scene. He searched her eyes and found the love he was so used to seeing and craved when she was away but there was something else, too. She reached out and grasped his hands, carefully holding them. His gaze shifted to them, surprised when she lightly caressed them with her thumbs like she normally would even though it wasn’t technically part of the cues.

                  “I don’t need more reminders of all that’s been broken                          I don’t need you to fix what I’d rather forget” The longer the song went on, he could only draw parallels. He and Cassandra had shared so many secrets about themselves, about their lives and their shortcomings and every one they’d accepted or helped the other change. As testament to all that he hadn’t smoked at all since he’d been away from her this time. Every day clean his lungs felt stronger and he felt energized more than he had before. Cassandra was, in so many ways, the best thing that had ever happened to him.                                       “Clear the slate and start over                                 Try to quiet the noises in your head”

Had they not been auditioning, he would have laughed. Of the two of them, he’d always thought that she was far more busy in the head than he ever was. But this was the role: Evan was always in his head so Zen simply gave her a sheepish smile as if he’d been the one called out.

                                    “We can’t compete with all that”

She pulled away from him and for a brief moment he instinctively reached out for her but remembered that it was part of the cues and simply watched as she hurried over to the chairs in the middle of the stage. It was supposed to be a double bed, according to the script, but apparently they hadn’t had one to work with yet.

                                               “So what if it’s us?                                                   What if it’s us                                                   and only us”

Zen began to break character as he watched her, expecting her to sit in the chair as the cues would probably dictate. She would have been directed to sit on the bed facing him. Instead, she was still standing. The more he looked, he even realized that she was shaking slightly. Was she just nervous because she was performing? He couldn’t ever recall her being so nervous that she shook, though...but she was still singing without breaking her voice.                  “and what came before won’t count anymore or matter?                                                Can we try that?”

Cassandra hesitated for a moment and Zen noticed her throat tightening as she swallowed. What in the world had her so nervous?

                                             “What if it’s you                                            and what if it’s me”

She reached behind her and pulled something out of her pocket. That isn’t part of the cues... he noted inwardly, his heart suddenly surging to overdrive in his chest as he tried to figure out what she now held so carefully in her palms.                         “and what if that’s all that we need it to be?”

He didn’t have to wonder long, since she knelt on one knee and held out the box for him in her hands. Zen’s eyes widened to the point that he began tearing up just from the fact that he was unable to blink and his face as well as the tips of his ears began flushing pink. What... is she doing...? There’s no way... his mind couldn’t even comprehend that this was happening.

                              “And the rest of the world falls away?”

She opened the box and there it was: a simple silver ring. Zen swore that his heart skipped several beats and everything but he and Cassandra disappeared just as the lyrics had suggested. This was above and beyond anything he thought would happen to him. She loved him so much that she would set all this up for him, practice until she was able to be on stage with him as an equal, if only for a few minutes, and propose? For a moment he felt intensely guilty that he hadn’t been the one to do this-- wasn’t he the man in this relationship? The one that was “sickeningly romantic” as Cassandra had put it several times?

                                            “What do you say?”

The entire theater went quiet, though Zen barely noticed through the pulse pounding in his ears. This had clearly all been a set up for this moment, but he didn’t care. All he could think about was the fact that he was being proposed to by the love of his life. Ideas for “sickeningly romantic” revenge proposals already drifted in to the back of his mind but he couldn’t focus on them now. “Babe...” he gasped. “Oh my god, babe...” He couldn’t actually say yes or no, even though he knew the answer the moment he was certain he knew what she was doing.

Cassandra didn’t say anything, but she looked absolutely terrified and was already sweating. The stage lights were hot, but she’d hardly been up there long enough to justify that kind of response to them just yet.

Zen didn’t want to keep her waiting and he knew how best to answer her. He gestured to the side stage, where he’d seen some of the audio equipment. “What’re you waiting for?” he asked, his tone bordering on playful teasing as a tiny smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. “Continue the song.”

Within moments the music began again, but as Zen looked back to Cassandra she still looked worried and now rather confused. That would all be cleared up soon enough. He closed the gap between them as he sang out his response.

        “I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me”

She all but gasped out her “well?” line in response as the scene dictated, voice shaking.

              “So I’ll give you ten thousand reasons not to let me go”

He was in front of her now, leaning down a little so he could reach out for her face.

                                 “But if you really see me”

Zen gently cupped her cheek and she leaned into it as she closed her eyes. He felt awful for a moment as he swore she shed a tear. He would have to kiss those away soon. And every inch of her skin...but that was later. Now, he still had to perform. And perform he would.

                          “If you like me for me and nothing else”

Cassandra opened her eyes, silently begging him for the acceptance that he already knew he was about to give her. He quickly moved his left hand to the box, gently touching the ring.

                                  “That’s all that I’ve wanted”

Zen slipped his ring finger into the offered band and pulled his hand away to show her with his most dazzling smile.

                         “for longer than you could possibly know”

Cassandra dropped the box and all but shot into his chest, clearly continuing to ignore any kind of cue that they would have had, and wrapped her arms tightly about his neck. Zen continued to sing regardless, but happily returned her embrace.

                                           “So it can be us                                               it can be us                                               and only us             and what came before won’t count anymore or matter.                                           We can try that.”

He pulled away before she was supposed to sing with him, but his hands were still on her shoulders. She put her hands on his arms, grinning like an idiot with tears making her sea green orbs shimmer. At least now he knew they were from happiness... not that he wouldn’t kiss them away soon anyway.

                                       “It’s not so impossible”

Zen moved his hands to gently grasp her cheeks as he sang his line to her with a gaze so intense that it would have made anyone else step away. He made a mental note to serenade her more, watching her blush manifest as he sang.

                           “Nobody else but the two of us here”

As they moved to sing together again Zen really did feel like they were the only two people in the universe even though the music was still playing and they both knew they weren’t.

                           “ ‘cause you’re saying it’s possible”

She watched him with nothing but adoration as she took up her own line.

                “We can just watch the whole world disappear”

Their hands moved to intertwine as they continued, following the song and continuing to get lost in themselves.

                                    “ ‘Til you’re the only one                                       I still know how to see”

Zen squeezed her hands as he sang to her, matching her passion as best he could but still lowering his volume as the cues would have demanded.

                                        “It’s just you and me”

She smiled at him as she followed his lead with her response lines.

                                        “It’ll be us, it’ll be us                                               and only us                      and what came before won’t count anymore”

Though she came in with her lines quietly, they didn’t stay that way and Cassandra surprised him with passion and intensity that she could put into her voice without breaking. She really had to have practiced even harder than he did... and he had no idea when she’d even had the time to do so. He was thrilled to sing with her again.

                                           “We can try that                                               You and me                               That’s all that we need it to be                           and the rest of the world falls away                           and the rest of the world falls away”

Zen had carefully stepped closer as they sang, eyes never leaving hers, to the point that they were touching foreheads as they neared the end of the song. Had it been an actual performance, he would have been worried that they couldn’t sing loud enough for the crowd to hear but as it was he couldn’t have cared less. Cassandra could hear him, and that was more than enough.

                                      “The world falls away                                        the world falls away                                          and it’s only us...”

They barely finished the last note when Zen leaned forward and latched on to Cassandra’s lips, his right hand divesting itself of her hand to grasp at the back of her neck. He heard cheers and applause, but he was far more interested in the woman who had just so boldly proposed to him. “Babe...” he panted when they finally parted. “You are... amazing.”

Cassandra seemed like she was going to reply but he quickly cut her off with another scorching kiss. He pulled away with a playful nip at her lower lip. “You’d better let me have my fun tonight, babe~”

“You realize you already accepted the proposal, right?” Cassandra teased him, pulling up a hand to brush some longer snow-white strands behind his ear where they belonged. “Too late to put in terms.”

He just shook his head. “Let me phrase it another way, then,” he mused, leaning forward to finish his thought next to her ear. “Once we get to the place you’re staying right now, you’re not leaving for days. And I wouldn’t recommend trying to walk much for at least a day more... so you’ll just have to let me take care of you even longer~”

Despite shivering at both the heated breaths and the promises contained in his words, Cassandra stood her ground. “As long as you let me have my fun when you return the favor.”

Zen pulled away, faking a look of shock. “Just what would I need to propose to you for? You’ve already done all this work... I would never dream of upstaging you!”

She chuckled. “Oh, I already see it in your eyes, Hyun. I can only imagine the elaborate sappy nonsense you are planning...” As if to emphasize the point, she shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes.

“My lady protests a bit too much,” Zen murmured. “You love it. And me.”

Cassandra smiled at him. “I do love you. Very, very much.”

“Then I suppose you’ll have no problem,” he began, reluctantly releasing his grip on her so he could grasp her hand and bring its back to his lips for a princely kiss. “Letting me off the chain tonight...”

“I will look forward to taming you again later,” she replied, her smile twisting slightly into a smirk.

“Get a room!” someone jeered. A chorus of laughter erupted from that and Cassandra even joined them.

“Come on,” she insisted, using their intertwined hands to lead him off the stage. “Let us go to my room so you can fully appreciate your fianceé~”