#hypnokink community

[wanna-be-a-woman]

Tara stared hopelessly at the spiral, unable to look away as the screen pulsed and words flashed quickly in front of her eyes.

Obey. Serve.

They only appeared for micro-seconds but they crashed into her mind like waves, washing away all other thoughts.

Obey. Serve.

Over and over, filling her head, taking root. Re-writing her soul.

Obey. Serve.

And she would. Those words became her purpose. Her mantra. She would obey. She would serve. Forever.

[hypnoness]

old but never stopped being gold, i love doodling eyes <3

[qu1etdays]

Enter Mister-Sandman90, Yet another person who clearly lost their patience, and threw consent out of the window.

For what it's worth, stay safe out there hypno community. This is how messages start and how they could end.

Stop trying to hypnotize people without their consent. This shit is dangerous.

[curiosa-hypnotica]

On the eve of November...

I really don't know if I'll be able to complete the Hypnovember challenge this year: to post some new hypno content every day starting tomorrow. Last year I didn't even try, and this one I may not have the time or the spoons for it.

But what the hell! Let's see what happens.

Watch this space and you'll probably find some interesting things to read and/or drop to.

I'll be using the prompt list made by my friend @officialmoosezilla, and you can use it as well:

Happy Halloween! And happy Hypnovember. And take care of yourself and those around you. 🌀

[dreamlike-mindscapes]

My, what a lovely day this was to celebrate world hypnotism day~! Though I won’t name anyone for obvious reasons, I had the greatest pleasure of sharing time with lovely subjects, teasing their minds and observing my own skills with those awesome sessions 💗 To my fellow hypnokinksters, I hope you all had a chance to live out some fantasies of your own today too.

[xxdolleve]

sitting all alone in my room desperately rubbing between my thighs while scrolling through tumblr. Kinda lonely tbh :( ((threats are welcome, pretty please!))

[corruptedhusk]

Good girls are obedient

It's all safe, harmless fun... right?

[wanna-be-a-woman]

Sarah couldn’t remember opening the email. In fact she couldn’t remember much of anything. All she knew was that she must obey her Master.

[hypnoness]

What are your favorite suggestions as a sub and as a tist? :)

sorry for the wait, it's just something you have to really think about + i've been busy as hell lately (again, sorry for not posting)

as a tist i really like feeling in total control and sometimes mix hypnosis with cnc.

suggestions that come out in the moment (not really think about it before, just come up with it and if i like some of them i'll remember for next time) are usually to make the sub fall asleep or enter a cataliptic state

as a sub i really like obedience play and hypnosis with praising but some type of sarcastic very subtle clever degradation, the way if youre too entranced and only focused on that, that sarcasm might slip and you wont even notice

[qu1etdays]

@otto-save consent violator. Be careful, hypnokinksters.

"being dumb and mindless doesn't suddenly shift my limits."

If I'm working with anybody you all see on my page, assume that I've warned them already about individuals like this.

[curiosa-hypnotica]

You are a hypnosub and you are owned. You have been thoroughly brainwashed, so there is no doubt in your mind, no way of resisting or escaping. And why would you even want to escape? You belong to your Owner. That is your reality. That is your purpose in life.

Now think about that certainty. Picture it. Describe it. How do you know all that? How did you learn it, and when? Do you remember a time when you did not know it? How does it feel that control inside you, always present? How is life with the will of another overriding your own?

You may be unable to go very far. You may get tired or simply shut down, dropping into a mindless trance. The weak parts of your mind are totally dominated, and the strong ones —if there are any— are serving your Owner, tasked with keeping your whole self bound and controlled. That is how it should be. That is your reality.

But if you manage to reflect about your brainwashing, even a little, you could express what you find or what keeps getting away from you, elusive, mysterious. You could talk about it, even if it's only to marvel at the power of hypnosis and the happiness of being owned.

If you are able, try to say it, as a reply or a reblog, so other hypnosubs can read it, and be amazed and joyful. 🌀

[dreamlike-mindscapes]

Ahh, that was such a delightful way to break up the day. Playing with hypnosis is always so much fun, especially when your sub tries to play bratty, makes it more fun to remind them of who is in command. A pity it so rarely happens, but I’m glad when it does, especially when I aim to please and succeed with flying colors~🎶

[xxdolleve]

what is your deepest darkest sexual fantasy?

probably getting hypnotized against my will and edged/overstimmed for long periods of time, that’s just me though !!

[pruning-the-minds-garden]

Disambiguating the two Tradwives

There has been a bit of... "news"... in progressive political spheres the past few months about the tradwife lifestyle. Specifically, about conservative women who dove into - or at least professed to dive into - that lifestyle/aesthetic, and it later turned out that their partners were simply using that as a way to abuse them. Lets talk about that.

This is about how "tradwife" as a sociopolitical/religious ideology relates to "tradwife" as a power exchange/kink phenomenon. Also, this bears on the conversation about guilt by association, as well as conversations about the powers and limits of labels, consent, and community (esp. as it relates to kink). I'm not "coming for" tradwives with this, nor accusing them or trying to disparage that lifestyle in any way as such, and I hope that comes through properly. What I'd like to do with this is elevate the discussion around them a bit, help absolve them of unearned guilt where that guilt isn't earned, and use that as a springboard for talking about larger issues. Yes, that italicized text is important and we'll come back to it later.

So, lets have that conversation now.

To start with, here are a few news pieces about the tradwife phenomenon in mainstream media sources:

* https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/15/opinion/tradwife-tiktok.html (from 05/15/2024) *https://unherd.com/2024/05/lauren-southern-the-tradlife-influencer-filled-with-regret/ (from 05/06/2024) * https://www.newyorker.com/culture/persons-of-interest/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-trad-wife (from 03/29/2024) * https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-22/tradwife-movement-personal-pleasures-or-extreme-right-ideologies/100356514 (from 08/22/2021) * https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2023/07/14/trad-wife-meaning-controversy/70407456007/ (from 07/14/2023) You can read all that if you want, but its purposes are really to do three things. First, to show you that people have been talking about this well outside of kink/BDSM circles for a while. Second, there have been some recent developments ("rise and fall," "filled with regret" I think demonstrate that aptly). Third, there is some complexity to the label, as exemplified by headlines like "personal pleasure or extreme right ideologies?" or "trad wife meaning controversy." Hence this post, to disambiguate the "tradwife" label, describe what it means, and hopefully get people to put their focus where it is necessary to do so, rather than heaping guilt on undeserving bystanders.

Lets jump to the second part first, and describe what tradwife means. There are, in my opinion, two halves to this. I'll start with the one that anyone reading this is most likely to know.

Tradwife (kink): an aesthetic kink or power exchange relationship revolving around a caricatured view of postwar gender relations, thereby creating a dynamic where submissives &/or wives consensually submit to Dominants &/or husbands while projecting a hyperfeminine affect. The aesthetics of the husband and their emulation of a "trad'sband" are largely unimportant to this as an aesthetic kink. The precise gender of the "wife" in the kink scenario is also often unimportant, with "wife" being a verbal stand-in in this context for "submissive partner" where that partner could be nonbinary or even a man. This latter scenario - or other combinations - is also occasionally combined with kinks like a humiliation fetish, cuckoldry, orgasm control/denial, forced feminization, and others as appropriate to the dynamic in question and individual tastes.

Tradwife (ideology): A far-right, conservative ideology that caricatures and then emulates postwar gender relations, as a vehicle for suggesting that all of society should return to that mythologized time. It posits that such a lifestyle - characterized by hyper-feminine submissive wives in exclusively cis-heteronormative, monogamous (exception: the husbands in such situations are often allowed if not expected to commit adultery), conspicuously Christian relationships with hyper-masculine husbands, using a 1950s era (that is to say, "Mad Men"-esque) vision of such - is the ideal position for all people everywhere, It further posits that any other relationship style or design is inherently inferior, and the cause of numerous societal ills.

In reading through those two definitions, I am sure you can see the overlap. What might be less obvious to some - especially the writers of the above news pieces, who are not familiar with kink culture - are the differences.

The first, BIG difference is consent. Tradwife-as-a-kink requires ongoing consent from all involved parties to be practiced/lived properly. Everyone involved has to want it, or at the very least not be opposed to it, in order for it to work. Tradwife-as-an-ideology does not require this consent, and in fact projects the lifestyle as an ideal upon uninvolved third parties as 'The Way They Should (want to) Live' (tm), thereby discarding entirely the consensual involvement of those third parties in the process. You cannot, EVER, say that a particular lifestyle is "the way people should be" without in the process necessarily ignoring or abrogating their consensual involvement in adopting that lifestyle. Tradwife-as-an-ideology does precisely that, and so it is by definition not an ethical kink practice. Tradwife-as-a-kink does not require that one adopt tradwife-as-an-ideology, however, so it is entirely possible for a person to want to live that lifestyle themselves without wanting to foist it on others and so be performing that aesthetic kink without falling foul of any ethical lines whatsoever. That being said, the overlap exists because some who live that as a kink then come (or have always) to adopt that ideology, or then foist it upon their partners (most commonly in the form of the husbands doing so to their wives, but it's possible to run the other direction as well).

The second difference is not so much one of ethics, as it is of aesthetics. Tradwife-as-an-ideology seems to discourage anything that could be seen as deviant outside of tradwifery itself, and instead encourage an aggressively normative and binarist relationship style, dynamic, and presentation by both participants. That is to say, the men involved are supposed to be Stereotypical Men (tm), the women involved Stereotypical Women (tm), they are supposed to have Stereotypical Sex in a Stereotypical House, a Stereotypical Relationship and the whole thing is designed to live in the Uncanny Valley in Stepford County of Anytown, The South/Midwest, USA c. 1950 (but the 1950s shown in sitcoms not, like, the actual 1950s) where everyone co-exists peacefully and no conflicts arise, ever, because Everyone Knows Their Place. And, crucially, that's as deep as it goes aesthetically. There is no point to that aesthetic other than to ape what is, in their view, an idealized way for all people everywhere to be (one that is conspicuously free of any non-White, non-Christian, non-cishet, or otherwise politically "disagreeable" people whatsoever, but I'm sure that's just a coincidence).

Tradwife-as-a-kink is very different, in that sense, and often (but does not necessarily) involves the inclusion of other kinks into that dynamic such as those named above. Also, it can be (and often is) practiced by non-cishet, non-White people who take that aesthetic and use it to say or do something, as a vehicle to criticize the ideal through caricature even as they live out that caricatured version of it. They add in cuckoldry because of the the implicit assumption that the hyper-sexualized, hyper-masculine Men in that scenario would have to cheat in order to find sexual satisfaction at all, and they want to explore their feelings around that as well as get some kinky satisfaction/jollies from it. They add in forced feminization because they like the idea of being made to be a Stereotypical Woman due to the way society already punishes them for - in all likelihood - not living up to existing gendered expectations they never consented to be held to. But, I also don't want to psychoanalyze this too deeply: they might just add in other kinks because they find them hot, or because they want to. That's okay too, because tradwife-as-a-kink is inherently deviant, and so further deviant lifestyle choices are really no big deal (nor should they be a big deal, when done in a considerate and consensual manner).

So, is it possible to be both? Yes. Obviously.

Is it necessary to be both? No. Equally obviously.

Finally, is tradwife-as-an-ideology a problem while tradwife-as-a-kink is not? I think, by now, you know my answer to that question. I wouldn't have even asked it if I thought my answer was in doubt.

Much like "Your Natural State" I think we as a community need to understand both the kink side of this practice, and its ideological implications. That's not to say we should condemn the kink practice when/where it is conducted properly and with the consent of all parties, but I think we need to understand it in order to put blame and guilt where it is right that it go and not outside of that place.

The people who practice the ideology and not the kink are obviously an issue, and they deserve to be called out for the toxicity they bring to the community. The people who practice the ideology and the kink... well, I think they need to at least be made aware of what they are doing, and given the opportunity to thoughtfully reject the former while they live the latter. We should not paint them with too broad a brush, because honestly we in the hypnokink community know all about the consequences of broad brushes and guilt by association. Credit card companies restrict the use of the word "hypnosis" by adult actors and adult mixed media artists with that same guilt-by-association zeal, assuming that anyone who uses hypnosis for kinky purposes is doing it to evade or elude the consent of their partner. That is not the case, but they do it anyway, and we should not seek to emulate their behavior.

Like I said at the top, labels have power. By adopting and then appropriating that label, right-wing groups and personalities have enabled themselves to abuse their partners, to hide behind the innocent members of their community and use them as a shield, and to evade due criticism for a while. It's time that stop. It won't stop by treating all persons who live that lifestyle as guilty, but rather by focusing guilt where that focus is due - on the people who practice it non-consensually, as an ideology rather than a kink, and to draw a line between the two wherever possible. Some people will straddle that line, and those people should be made to ask themselves the hard question: "which is more important to you?" because the answer to that question will be revelatory, and instructive of what our next steps forward should be in approaching them.

[wanna-be-a-woman]

Callie and Helena couldn’t move. They couldn’t do anything anymore unless Master told them to. They were trapped, helpless in their own bodies as they were turned into obedient puppets for this stranger they now thought of as Master. They didn’t want this. They wanted to go home. And they would. But only after Master had given them some instructions. And they would return tomorrow. But they would bring others with them. Friends. Sisters. Anyone Master told them to bring. Soon they would be joined by many new puppets for Master.