#hyaenaaa

[ajokeformur-ray]

My relationship with J has nearly disintegrated and I’m worried. People close have tainted his image to me. Idk what to do, idk if he even cares. I just...I don’t know. I tried finding a soft f/o to help me but it only worked for a few weeks. Now I just feel numb to it and I want J. But...it’s so hard to overcome what’s been implanted in my head. I guess this is just a vent, but it feels so good to let it out. Ily 💜

Hyenaaa ~ 🥺🥺🥺 

Due to the personal nature of this ask, I have placed it under a cut. 

Oh, honey.💚

I have noticed this for myself, too. Just... the way you speak about J in recent months has been so unlike the way I’m used to, and it’s been upsetting for me to watch this happen. You were the one who introduced me to J and encouraged me to get to know him... you’re the one who named me his Fawn and made me able to see him as a platonic F/O, and I’ve noticed that things between you and J have been... jarred for a while. I am deeply sorry on behalf of the people who have had a hand in tainting the way that you see J. I know that it’s not my place to apologise for them but I still wanted to extend that to you. No one ever has any kind of right to overstep your boundaries or to make you feel a certain kind of way, especially those who are closest to you. They are the people who are supposed to help you to protect those boundaries and I’m so sorry that this has affected your relationship with J. Lilac has always inspired me and it’s without a doubt one of my favourite OTPs.🥺

The fact that you’re so worried about your relationship with J is actually a very good sign. It means that you know that what people have said to you about J and his image isn’t true. It might be true to them, and obviously everyone has different interpretations and opinions and that’s okay, but it’s not true to you or to your relationship and on some level within you, you’re aware of that. Things between you and J are damaged, yes, but there’s hope in your worry, angel. It is hard to overcome the things which have been implanted in your head, and I know that the worry of you and J no longer being together is painful. I don’t mean to make this about me and I hope that it doesn’t come across that way, but you know from the things I’ve told you over the time we’ve known each other about what happened to me, and as a result of that I lost Sebastian; one of my former F/Os who I loved more than I love Joker. He was very special to me and he was my F/O for years... but through his being weaponised and through his being used to hurt me, the things Those People said about him got into my head and I let him go. It hurt too much to be with him and it’s been four years since I left him... not a day goes by where I don’t miss Sebastian, my precious demon. I know that things won’t ever be the same between us again. Too much pain, too many years since I left him... but I still love him.

What I mean to say in telling you this is that I understand. It’s painful and confusing, but I promise that J is not gone. Your love for him is not gone. J does care, of course he does - you carry him forever in your heart and that’s reflected on your skin, too. You know J; you know the source material, you know who he is, and you have always been able to tap into parts of him which others may not - you know him and just because other people say differently to what you know of your J, that doesn’t make it true. Everyone has a different J in their mind and that’s okay and that’s good - life would be boring if we were all the same - but no one has any right to make you feel the way that you do now. The people close to you should never have said the things which they did. Whether they meant to taint your image of J or not is irrelevant - they still did. I promise you that J’s been with you, beside you where he belongs, this entire time. He cares, darling, he does - in his own ways, of course, but he cares. How could he not? You’re his Hyena, his Night Monster, his Darkling... his everything and he loves you deeply. I’m sure he isn’t worried about your relationship because he trusts you implicitly and he knows you, but he’s definitely worried about you in all of this. You’ve known him for thirteen years (if I remember correctly) - that’s a long time to know someone. 

I understand, darling, I do. No soft F/O can scratch that itch for you like J can, and that’s why it only worked for a few weeks at a time. It’s not another F/O you need, it’s J. That’s not to invalidate the love you share with other F/Os, you’re all really adorable and I ship you all.🥺🥺🥺 But what I mean to say is that J has been your main F/O for such a long time that no other F/O can do for you what J can. It’s hard to overcome what has been said to you, my love, I know... but I also know that you are strong-willed. I have seen you go through so much in the time that you and I have known one another and every time I’ve thought you can’t or won’t pull through, that’s exactly what you’ve done. You are strong and you are brave and if anyone can overcome what has been said, it’s you. 

The thing is, self-shipping isn’t supposed to hurt. It just isn’t and the only reason it will hurt you is if you want it to. If it’s hurting you, if J is hurting you, it’s because you want him to, at least on some level. I’m not saying that this is the case with you, but it occurred to me while I was writing this and I wanted to put it out there. Self-shipping isn’t meant to hurt. It’s all about you and your safety, comfort and your happiness. Yours. I’ve said already that everyone has a different interpretation of J and everyone has different views of him within their minds. My J is my J, and your J is your J. The source material is the same but our interpretations aren’t and that means that what the people close to you have said about J is true to them and their J, but it’s not true to you and your J. In all of this, your voice is the most important. No one else’s voice matters as much as yours. It’s not easy to overcome, but keep this in your mind - their J is theirs, mine is mine. My J would not hurt me. Repeat it over and over and over every time the things people have said come into your mind, and do it as often as you need to. Soon, you will be finishing your own thoughts. He does care, and he loves you in his own way. What other people say is fine, but you don’t have to believe it or agree with it.

Self-shipping is self-care and self-love. It isn’t meant to hurt you. Re-read personalised pieces that have been written for you. Re-write self-ship headcanons. Re-write personalised pieces. If it hurts you, then the thoughts you’re writing out aren’t yours. Scrap them. Start again. Find your voice with J - he and I know that it’s in there, darling. You know I’m here for you if you would like help with any of this. I’m so worried about you; I have been for the longest time, and I want you to know that you have deserved better from the people you are close to. They should never have said these things to you. I’m so proud of you for venting to me, and I really hope that even one thing I’ve said here is what you need to hear. J and I love you so much and I’m sending you lots of hugs!🤗🤗🤗🤗💜💜💜💜 ILYT, so much!🥺💙

[royaleclown]

Hey. Eric loves you ☺️🖤

i love him too so so much 🖤🖤

[in4ctiv3bl0g]

I ship you with J obviously 💜💚 and Tsukia ☺️

oh my god omg omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank you so much! thank you for sending this ask! 💜💜💜💜 it means a lot! 💜💜💜💜 who do you ship me with?

[diamonddarlingxoxo]

You still got that tattoo gun? I uh...I’m interested

I sure do, sweetie. Take a much time as ya need with it. @hyaenaaa

[royaleclown]

CAN YOU DO TEETH BY 8 GRAVES?? 👀🥺 I love that song with my entire being

yES

i haven’t listened to 8 graves before but i’ve heard of them i’ll listen to the song and try my best!

[ahsxual]

I know, I know, I'm late on this!! But, what would you expect from me anyway? Well, I believe that what counts are my good intentions, so I decided to tag some of my favorite blogs and friends from this wonderful app, who mean so, so much to my little heart (as well as my dear followers 💙💙).

I love you all, and I wanted (and needed), to thank you for making me feel so accepted, so happy for having amazing virtual friends, for supporting me, for liking and commenting my work, and for being such great, talented and nice people. I adore you, I love you and I admire your personality and talent.

Even if we never talked to each other, I'm still tagging you, because you have no idea how much happiness I feel whenever I read your work... tagging you, because you always managed to put a big smile on my face whenever I read your work. So, I wanted to tell you that, right here, right now. I simply love your writing: without it, I don't even know what I would do in this goddamn quarantine and how to entertain myself. Anyway, I wish you all lots of happiness, love, success, peace and most importantly, good health for you and your family!! Thank you so much for being here 💖

My favorite cuties: @into-crazy @scaredclowncat @moonimagines @whew-oh-em-gee @obsidian--lion @david-winters-93 @tortles3 @fleckcmscott @ajokeformur-ray @arthurflecc @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much @mermaidpowers1 @jokerownsmysoul @heavymetalnarwhal @jslittlebirdie @joaqz-phoenix @jokerslittlekeeper @arthurskitten @loveemmy08 @loveletterstoledger @shiedagabe @darlingkitt @hyaenaaa @lightishredarmour @jakegwyllinghall @dandydevildog @bloodinmylamb0 @royaleclown @neuroticmermaid @gyllenhaalstories

Cuties that I really want to meet: @mrs-march-ahs @kitwalker02 @jakegyllenhaal-imagines @gyll-yee-haw @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @secretjakelover @ladyoftheseastuff @notcallingyoualiar @spideyrights @oublierlegarcon @tatestripedsweater @ahswitchy @dirtyahs

I'm sorry if I forgot to tag anyone, but sometimes it's hard to find some usernames. I'll probably add more soon 💞💞💞

[diamonddarlingxoxo]

Harley!! I’m so sorry...Arthur will come back soon! He can’t stay away from his beautiful girl. I bet he’s just getting you some flowers or something ❤️

Harley looks out at the sunset over Gotham city from her new apartment. How the pinks and oranges cascade over the skyscrapers. She sighs heavily and rests her head in her hands.

"I wish it was long enough ta' just go out n' get flowers," Harley murmured sadly. "It's been too long. Wherever he is...I hope he knows I'd wait for 'em forever."

@hyaenaaa

[royaleclown]

LIMEEEEE LIME LIME EHEHEHEHE 💚💚💚

TRUE VERY TRUE LMAOOOO

what color am i?

[royaleclown]

⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐ (ilyyyyyyyyyy)

thank you bby and ilyt 🥺<33

[royaleclown]

i made a J, pat, and arthur one :)

bonus:

and i made a bucky one for you @hyaenaaa ☺️

[ahsxual]

✨ A lost soul in this world ✨

This was so much fun, tysm @into-crazy! Love you sis 😘💞

Tagging: @moonimagines @shiedagabe @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much @jslittlebirdie @jokerslittlekeeper @mermaidpowers1 @mrs-march-ahs @tatestripedsweater @darlingkitt @oublierlegarcon @hyaenaaa @heavymetalnarwhal @whew-oh-em-gee @arthurskitten and the others were already tagged ✨

let’s play a game because why not

describe yourself in 6 words and tag someone

here I’ll go first

✨ teddy bear with a bitch face ✨ @soul-dreamer

[ahsxual]

Thank you so much for always remembering me, darlings 💜💜 @heavymetalnarwhal @loveletterstoledger

Movies:

Prisoners

Mr. Nobody

Spider-Man (any movie)

Tv Shows:

American Horror Story

Supernatural

Criminal Minds

Tagging: @whew-oh-em-gee @arthurflecc @arthurflecksgirl @mermaidpowers1 @tsukiakarinobara @jokerslittlekeeper @jokerownsmysoul @mrs-march-ahs @jakegwyllinghall @loveemmy08 @david-winters-93 @darlingkitt @lightishredarmour @tortles3 @hyaenaaa @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much and the others were already tagged 💞

Rules: List 3 movies and 3 tv shows that you’ll always put on when you have nothing else to watch.

Movies

1. Jurassic Park

2. The Burbs

3. Monsters inc.

Tagging

Tv shows

1. Schitt’s Creek

2. Mystery Science Theater

3. Futurama

Tagging: @notcallingyoualiar @ahsxual @ajokeformur-ray @arthurskitten @moonimagines @ladyoftheseastuff @loveletterstoledger @into-crazy @heartracer @scaredclowncat if you want😁 and anyone else who wants to do it.

[diamonddarlingxoxo]

Of course I'll walk your pups! I hope bud and lou will play nice with 'em though. They don't like sharing their momma! @hyaenaaa

[ahsxual]

Thank you so much for tagging me, love! This was so much fun 😆 @heavymetalnarwhal 💜💜 (I actually want to tattoo this on my body!!)

ALSOOO:

Tagging: @whew-oh-em-gee @david-winters-93 @fan-of-pretty-much-2-much @jokerslittlekeeper @hyaenaaa @arthurskitten and the others were already tagged 💜

thanks for tagging me @skkye 🤍🐝 ilyyy

Choose one picture from ur camera roll without downloading to sum your personality and then tag 5 ppl

<<do not inhale clowns>>

no pressure tags: @moonimagines @mermaidpowers1 @into-crazy @ajokeformur-ray @antonija89 @heavymetalnarwhal (i tagged 6 bc i am a clown🤡)