#hurtcember2024 day 2

[kokinagi]

Hurtcember 2024 || Day 2 - Breakdown || @hurtcember

|| Leon & Chihiro (/p but can be interpreted however you like)

Genre: drabble, hurt/comfort

CW/TW: anxiety attack

Summary: Chihiro comes across Leon having a breakdown and calms him down.

A/N: this might be the fastest that I've ever written anything.. this is my first time writing these two characters and it's been awhile since I've played the first game but i think i was able to do then justice!!

The sun trickled in through the crack of the slightly ajar window in the abandoned stairwell, lighting it up just enough for Chihiro to see where he was going. The boy always liked to come here to eat and relax during lunch, as there was nobody around to bother him or cause a ruckus.

However as he descends the steps and hears the sound of faint sniffling and mumbling, he can already tell that his afternoon isn't going to be all too relaxing.

Should he turn around and pretend he never came? Pretend that he didn't hear a thing to avoid any possible conflict?

No.. That didn't feel like the right thing to do. He was already here so he might as well go through with it. If the person doesn't acknowledge him then he can just go on about his day.

With his mind made up, he continues to descend the stairs, taking deep breaths to keep his anxiety at bay. When he rounds the corner of the stairs though, the person he sees is someone he was least expecting to find in the middle of the stairwell crying.

"Chihiro! Shit, sorry, you're not supposed to see me like this," Leon mutters out, frantically wiping away at the tears that were running down his cheeks.

It hurt to see his friend like this, especially when he doesn't know the reason behind all of this. Worry fills his chest, making his heart feel as though it were sinking deeper between the confines of his ribcage.

"N-No, it's okay, really. If you uh.. Don't mind me asking... Why are you hiding out here crying?" Without a second thought, the brunette is sitting himself down on the stairs next to the taller man, his prior worries long forgotten about in favour of helping his friend.

Leon exhales a long sigh, holding the front of his head in the palms of his hands. "I thought this stairwell was forgotten about.. Nobody ever comes here or uses it for anything, except for you, I guess."

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to-"

"No need. If anything, it's me who's taking this spot from you right now so," the red head interrupts, waving a hand in Chihiro's direction before returning it to his face.

"I mean.." Chihiro trails off, not really wanting this to turn into an argument or anything of the sort. "N-Nevermind that.. You can continue if you uhm.. If you want to."

"Thanks, Chihiro.. Well like- I just didn't want the team to see me like this. God, they'd think so differently of me if they saw me crying and I don't really want to tell any of them what's been on my mind lately. They'd probably hate me," he mumbles running his fingers through his messy hair.

"I.. I doubt they'd see you in a different light just because you're expressing your emotions," the brunette replies, a sad nervous smile pulling at the corners of his lips.

"Well of course you'd say that, you're a girl. There's no hate when a girl cries but for guys? That shit is different."

Well Chihiro supposes this is what he gets for pretending to be a girl all of this time.. It's only natural that Leon would think this way. One of the reasons he ended up pretending to be a girl in the first place was because of how weak and sensitive he is.. So he can understand how Leon feels, to an extent at least.

"I guess you're right.. Well uhm.. I won't judge you so if you want to talk about it then I'm here," he reassures the distraught man, going as far as to rest a hand on his shoulder.

Leon slowly nods his head, giving himself a moment to get his breathing in order before opening up to the shorter man.

"I.. Fuck, saying this out loud is terrifying.."

"Breathe.. It's okay, I promise."

The redhead inhales a deep breath through his nose before exhaling through parted lips.

"I want to quit baseball. Like, entirely," Leon admits, tears already starting to well up again in his sky blue eyes. "And I knowwwww that's what I'm best at and whatever but it's not what I want anymore. I'm so tired of that stupid fucking sport! Hell, I've already been skipping practices! The team is already getting sick of my shit!"

Chihiro can't help but stare with wide eyes at what his friend had admitted, not being able to believe it. Why quit the thing that you're best at? Chihiro could never stop programming, he loves it too much.

"T-That's valid.. It's okay if that's not what you want anymore.. People change and so do their interests."

"I just don't know what the fuck to do.. My team will fucking kill me if I back out. I'm just so tired of it all.. I want my piercings and I want to keep my hair long! Why the hell do I even need to take them out and shave my head for a damn sport? I don't see soccer players having to shave their heads!"

"I wish I knew the answer to that but I'm not really good at sports so.. But if that's what you really want then I think you should do it."

"It's not that easy. I gotta go to the coach and tell him that I wanna quit, I gotta tell my teammates.. They're all gonna fucking hate me! But like- I just can't do this anymore.. This isn't what I want, this isn't what I see for my future," Leon cries out, wiping the tears from his cheeks as they leave his tear ducts and run down his cheeks.

Chihiro's heart breaks at the sight of seeing his friend cry like this. He's always seen Leon as the type to not sweat things too much, just going with the flow and doing what his heart is set on. Not to say that he sees him any differently now, if anything this has him seeing just how strong the other man really is.

"If baseball isn't what you see for your future then what do you see? What do you really want to do?"

"I uh.. I want to be a musician. I'm not great on guitar or anything but I think that's what makes it fun. It's like.. I'm learning something new and there's still hella progress to be made, you know?" The redhead sniffles, a faint smile pulling at his lips.

"Yeah, I get that. I know it's hard to face this truth but.. You should go for it, Leon! Do what you want, not what other people want you to do," Chihiro says, although he knows he should really taking his own words into consideration.

That's for a different day though.

Leon hums, leaning down to rest his head on Chihiro's shoulder. The brunette's body tenses up at the sudden action before letting his body relax, soaking up the little bit of affection from his friend.

"Thanks, Chihiro. You're right, I gotta do what's best for me.. I'm fucking tired of letting other people decide what's best for me and what I should be doing with my own life," he replies, his voice shaky but filled with more confidence than he had previously.

"I'm glad y-you want to take the reigns of your life.. That's not easy to do sometimes," the brunette replies, bringing a timid hand up to Leon's head. He pauses, hesitant to touch the other man's head.

"You can, I don't care. It's not like you're a stranger or anything."

"Oh.. O-Okay," Chihiro mumbles before carding his fingers through the messy red strands.

Leon hums and relaxes against the smaller man, finally starting to calm down from his break down.

"So what do you come here for anyways? You've never told me or Mondo about this or anything."

"Uhm.. Well nobody ever comes here so I like to relax here during lunch or whenever I have the time to.. It gets too loud sometimes," he mutters out, resting his head against his friend's.

"That checks out, yeah. My bad.."

"N-No no, it's okay! I like being around you and Mondo so really, it's fine."

The taller male hums in response, shifting slightly to pull out his phone. Chihiro averts his gaze, not wanting to see something that he shouldn't.

It only takes a minute before Leon is sighing and putting his phone down on his lap.

"My teammates are messaging me in the group chat and asking where I am.. I really don't want to go."

"You're already skipping, right? If you plan on quitting, I don't really see any reason for you to go. That's uhm.. That's just my opinion though," Chihiro replies, although he's not too confident about that response. He's not one to give advice on matters like this.

"You're right! Yeah, fuck thaaat, I'm not going! I uh.. I have a question though.."

"Hmm?"

"If I went to the team later to break the news.. Would you come with me? I.. I feel like if I try to do it alone, I might back out," the redhead mumbles, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

Would Chihiro really be of any help if he went with Leon? Bringing a "girl," with him might make it look suspicious, won't it? Well if it'll give Leon more confidence..

"Sure, I can come with you. I just want you to do what's best for you," he agrees, figuring that everything would be fine. Leon would never put him in an anxiety inducing or unsafe situation.

"Thanks, Chihiro! You're the best," Leon sighs, loosely wrapping his arms around the smaller male in a hug.

"It's nothing, really! I just want you to be able to move towards the future that you want, that's all." Chihiro returns the hug, lightly ruffling the other's hair.

After that very much needed conversation, they spend the rest of lunch together, Chihiro going as far as to share his food since Leon hadn't brought anything with him. The brunette doesn't know where this feeling of confidence came from, but he knew that everything would go well in the end for Leon.

[rainofcolours]

the scars that bound my present to our pasts (7905 words)

[ (4/? clashes to ashes, trust to dust) | Kaijou/Puppyshipping | @hurtcember 2024 Day 4: Scars ]

Summary: Why was it even when Katsuya was alone, eons of light years away, his actions remained shackled by the scars of his past? (Or emotional trauma meets melon soda float banter meets dodgy bad friend.) Continuation of "hierarchy of collapse". (Myst's usual brand of hurt-no-comfort Kaijou; potential triggers in ao3)

Click below for a few preview paragraphs!

He lifted his head from the coffin of his own embrace, surprised his migraine had mostly departed, eyes still adjusting to the mise-en-scène of caliginous absence that had characterised most—, now all of his daily existence. Awaiting the commencement of his wordless soliloquy, he sat in desolation – ringed by the disintegrated ashes of a will conquered; framed against a foreground of cacophonous clutter that diffused the ambient light from the streets below until all of him was pulled into a desaturated monochrome.

After minutes, or perhaps an hour – the passage of time seemed to dilate non-linearly to Katsuya these days – of impassive passivity, holding conversations he should have had but never did in the language of blue; imagining the hypothetical splintering of their history into prisms of alternate hues, Katsuya forced his mind to replace the replays with static and awaited the thrumming of his heart to slow to a more steady cadence.

Katsuya cracked the soreness from his spine, feeling his lower back cramp in resistance. I really am gettin’ old, huh. Rationalising that cleaning up the aftermath of his outburst took precedence over the affordances of wistful fancies, he drove his knuckles into the floor to unhinge his legs, forgetting the injuries he had sustained the night before.

(Read the rest of the fic here!)

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Imperfections and All

|| Jinx x fem!reader

|| Warnings; Jinx having a breakdown, crying, hearing voices, seeing people that aren't there, brief season two/end of season one spoilers, reader comforting Jinx

|| Summary; when reader finds Jinx, Jinx isn't fully there.

Requests closed!

Started; December 1st

Finished; December 1st

HurtCember2024; Day 2, Breakdown

~~~

A familiar cold laughter filled the air. You'd walked into your girlfriend's workshop, taking light steps over the metal surface. Walking through here always made you nervous; there were no railings. So you made sure to tread carefully.

"Jinx?" You called. The laughter didn't seem to stop. It continued until you found her. Curled up in a ball under her workbench. Eyes wide, head in her hands. Gripping at her hair while muttering nonsense to herself. You hated seeing her like this. It pained you knowing the girl you loved went through everything that she did. Jinx didn't deserve it. Nobody deserved this.

Her eyes snapped to you. You weren't sure if she was even seeing you. That happened, sometimes. Jinx would look at you and say another name. Sometimes Vi, Claggor, Mylo, even Vander and Caitlyn. Lately Silco. It was always another name when she was like this. But never yours. That had to be a good sign, right? Your voice wasn't tormenting her. "What're you looking at, Mylo? You happy? Turned into the Jinx you always thought I was." Jinx's words came out as a spit. Making you frown.

Slowly, carefully. You moved yourself under the workbench. Settling down beside her. Your skin brushing against each other. "It's me, Jinx." You assured her. Hesitant at first, but slowly your hand moved to her knee. Cupping it in an attempt to ground her. It didn't. Jinx flinched away from you, eyes wide. She hid her face in her hands again. Continued mutters, a lot of 'shut ups'. Never directed at you. Never you.

"Hey..." You reached out again. Gently taking her hands from her face and bringing her into your arms. Jinx tried to fight it. But caved and sobbed into you. Maybe she realized through her breakdown that it was you holding her. Or she was just desperate for comfort. You weren't sure. It could be either or something else entirely with her. You held her regardless. Whispering soft phrases of comfort. Trying to ease her back to you.

You weren't sure how much time had passed before you faintly heard what sounded like Jinx muttering your name. You looked to her and she lifted her head up. Eyes red from the tears that had fallen. They were softer, though. Nothing like the look Jinx had when you first found her. "How long have you..."

"Not sure," you admitted. Knowing she was asking how long you'd been there; wondering how much you had seen of her breakdown. Jinx sighed and slumped against you. Tired out from it all. Eyes half lidded. Your hands found hers, keeping them in your lap. Gently tracing her knuckles to soothe her.

"Why do you stay..?" Jinx asked after a long moment of silence. You didn't have to think about it. You knew exactly why. You loved her. Regardless of her faults. Jinx was yours; you would help her through hell if you had to. It didn't matter to you. As long as you got her.

"Because I love you. Imperfections and all."

Jinx's eyes searched yours. Looking for any sign of a lie. The slightest bit of hesitation. Anything to convince herself you weren't being truthful. But when she found none, her shoulders eased. Reminding herself you weren't like the others. You weren't her sister. You weren't Mylo, Clagger, Vander, Caitlyn. Or even Silco. You were you. Always there. Reminding her how much you loved her, no matter how insane she got. How out of place she felt. It never mattered to you. All that you wanted was her. Your loyalty was one of the things Jinx clung to. If she lost you...

The atmosphere was calmer now as Jinx's eyes met yours. The faint smile on your lips bringing her back to reality with you. "There you are," you murmured. Hand cupping Jinx's cheek. Feeling when she leaned into your touch. Jinx's arms wrapped themselves around you. Her legs clinging around your waist. Looking a lot like you had a koala attached to your front. Her face buried into your neck. You let the girl get comfortable. Knowing it was what she needed now more than ever," I've got you. I always will," your head came down and your cheek pressed to the top of Jinx's head. Your own arms latching around her. Trying to get impossibly closer.

"I love you, too," you could faintly hear Jinx's voice. Quite a bit quieter than how she normally spoke with you. The bubbly, energetic version of herself buried deep within. But her words were genuine nonetheless. You smiled and kissed the side of her head. Understanding that she just needed sometime to find herself again. A search you would gladly be the guide for.