#hunter addresses the air
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initial-lime · 2 days ago
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The day I can go a week without hearing about the goddamn US of A is the day I can die happy. I love my American friends and mutuals very very much but I’m. So so tired. Especially watching people in MY ME OWN DAMN CULTURE. get things wrong about OUR WE OWN DAMN CULTURE in favor of the westernized clusterfuck of what AMERICANS think our cultural heritage is about.
If I see one more person in Scandinavia confuse fucking marvel characters with real nordic mythology and practices I’m going to become violent and I mean that so so literally
The dialect for my region is rapidly dying out, the cultural dress is forgotten, I had to steal a book about local folklore from the library’s restricted archive section when I worked there because they simply stopped renewing those texts and they where being physically mistreated, inaccessible and forgotten.
If I go into the local super market I can buy 15 American candies and 3 American flags
i dont think usamericans rly understand how prevalent their culture is. english is taught in schools. we hear about usa news, watch usa shows and movies, know usa actors, read usa books, listen to usa music, have usa brands. i have a shirt somewhere with some usa flag motive from like 15 years ago. cant remember why i even have it. why were they even selling that in croatia. your books and culture are everywhere, you dominate social media, and then come on here whenever someone gives even a middle criticism and act like spoiled children because someone wants you to open an atlas
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initial-lime · 1 month ago
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Never in a million years did i think tumblr would try to sell me I mean it’s just absurd, who sells And online too?? Unbelievable
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nahoney22 · 7 months ago
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Me again! Please can I request some HC’s with the bad batch and how they react to reader (gn or female) accidentally crawling into the boys bunk at night 😂
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Accidental Sleeping Arrangements
All Bad Batch Boys X GN!Reader
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How the boys react to you accidentally crawling into their bunk at night.
warnings: Fluff, comfort, cuddles, some moody boys, gender neutral reader. Can be read as romantic or platonic.
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Echo 💤
The first time:
As you slid into his bunk accidentally that evening, he was thoroughly bewildered. He had jolted awake and sat upright, observing your exhausted form snuggling against him, eyelids heavy with fatigue.
With tactful gentleness, he roused you from your slumber, delicately shaking you to bring you back to awareness. "Hey, um, you're in my bunk, trooper."
Your eyes flickered open, adjusting to the dim light, and a muttered curse escaped your lips as you retreated, cheeks warming with embarrassment. "Sorry, Echo," you apologized, slipping out of his bunk. "I must be completely drained," you sheepishly confessed.
"It's alright. I just didn't want to startle you by waking up to my face," he commented. You glance at him with a furrow forming on your brow before you shook your head.
"I doubt I'd be bothered by that..." your words trailed off, potentially carrying unintended flirtation. Echo's eyes widened slightly, his hand instinctively moving to the back of his neck, a clear sign of slight shyness at your words.
"Anyway," you say abruptly, spinning on your heel. "Sorry about that."
Echo simply nodded, silently observing as you retreated to your own bunk, leaving him with a sudden chill in the air, now yearning for the warmth you briefly brought beside him.
The second time:
With a tired yawn, Echo wearily approaches his bunk a few nights later, only to halt in surprise at the sight of someone curled up inside. Upon closer inspection, he realises it's you again, presenting him with a slight dilemma.
Despite his weariness, Echo knows he needs rest, and while your bunk is an option, his own provides the perfect setup for his cybernetics, ensuring he's at his best for the next day's duties.
Letting out a small sigh, hoping you wouldn't mind, he settles on the edge of his bunk and gently wakes you. "Hey, you're in my bunk again," he murmurs softly.
You stir, meeting his gaze before cringing slightly. "Again? I'm so sorry," you begin to rise, but his hand on your shoulder stops you.
"You can stay, but I'd also like to get some sleep... if you, uh, catch my meaning," he hints with a faint smile, hoping you understand.
"Oh," you blush, considering for a moment. "Well, I hope you don't mind sharing."
"Not at all," he reassures, his tone gentle as you make space. He lies beside you, and before long, you drift back to sleep. Echo finds solace in the rhythm of your soft snores, gradually succumbing to sleep himself... though waking up to find you both cuddling is a surprise he hadn't anticipated, yet one he welcomes warmly.
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Hunter 💤
The first time:
When Hunter awoke to find you crawling into his bunk, confusion gripped him. Instantly alert, his hands tensed, ready to confront any potential intruder, but his apprehension melted away as he recognised you.
He lay there in silence, contemplating his next move.
While a part of him felt inclined to let you sleep, considering your recent exhaustion, he couldn't shake the concern of startling you upon awakening to find him beside you.
After ensuring you were deeply asleep, he carefully extricated himself from the occupied bunk, making sure not to disturb you.
Once free, he couldn't suppress a soft chuckle as he observed you, peacefully snuggled into his pillow, emitting gentle snores. “Sleep well.” He whispered to you before leaving you to rest.
He made a mental note to address the situation in the morning, but perhaps it’s better left unsaid since you’ll know your error when you woke up.
The second time:
As you woke up to find yourself in Hunter's bunk, mortification swept over you. Yet, when you encountered Hunter in the cockpit, he didn't mention a word about it, instead offering you a drink of caf.
A small part of you entertained the idea that perhaps he was unaware of the nighttime intrusion. However, your suspicions were confirmed a few nights later.
Fatigued and not paying attention to your surroundings, you headed towards what you thought was your bunk and climbed inside, only to be surprised by the presence of another person. "Hunter, what're you doing?" you blurt out, eyes widening in disbelief.
"I could ask you the same question," he chuckles, adjusting his position and turning to face you. "This is my bunk."
Blinking in realisation, you glance around, confirming his assertion. "Oh," you laugh sheepishly, "I thought this was mine."
His smile is gentle, his eyes gleaming faintly in the dim light. "You're more than welcome to stay," he offers casually, though he soon realizes the potential implications of his words. "If you want to, that is."
A part of you knows you should return to your own bunk, yet there's an inexplicable pull keeping you there. "Well, I'm all comfy now..." you hint with a small smile.
He nods, turning his gaze away and closing his eyes. "Me too. Sleep well."
It took you a moment to fall asleep but just like how Hunter didn’t tell you that you had slept in his bunk first initially, you won’t tell him how he pulls you into his body as he slept and held you close throughout the night. Not that you seemed to mind.
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Wrecker 💤
The first time:
"Wrecker, you scared me! What are you doing in my bunk?" you exclaimed, startled by the unexpected intrusion.
As you thought you were settling into your bunk for the night, using your hands to navigate through the darkness, you accidentally crawled onto something large and hard.
Assuming it was just your sheets bunched up, you attempted to smooth it out, only to be met with a small yelp that made your heart skip a beat.
"Huh?" Wrecker groggily emerged from his sleep cocoon, rubbing his eyes. "This is my bunk, isn't it?"
"No, I'm pretty sure it's mine," you asserted, but as Wrecker shifted in the bunk and reached under the blanket, he pulled out his beloved Lula.
"Oh. Maybe not then." You felt pretty embarrassed by your mistake, but Wrecker didn't seem to mind at all.
"It's alright, thought I was going to get an extra cuddle buddy for a second there!" he chuckled heartily, waving Lula in your face. His laughter filled the room, and you couldn't help but feel a warmth spread through you at the thought of being Wrecker's "cuddle buddy," though you weren't entirely sure if he was joking.
Deciding not to dwell on it further and eager to avoid keeping Wrecker awake any longer, you offered a meek apology before retreating to your actual bunk. As you settled in, you couldn't shake the image of Wrecker's playful grin from your mind.
The second time:
Wrecker stared down at his bunk, finding it already occupied with not much room left for him. You were snoozing away, oblivious to his dilemma. Wrecker knew he could be a bit of a grouch without his sleep, so he decided to gently prod you awake.
"Hey," he nudged you, rousing you from your slumber. "Is this you asking to be my cuddle buddy?"
You stirred awake, blinking in confusion as you glanced at him. It was then that you noticed Lula on the pillow next to your head. "Oh shoot, sorry Wrecker," you sighed groggily, just wanting to fall back asleep into the warmth of his bunk.
"It's alrigh’," he chuckled softly, his deep voice filling the room with warmth. "But uh... I kinda need to sleep."
"Then come cuddle next to me," the words slipped out before you realized what you were saying, but you didn't want to take them back either. The thought of Wrecker's warmth beside you was oddly comforting.
Wrecker was surprised for a moment, his eyes widening slightly, before a soft smile spread across his face. Without hesitation, he slung his armor off and crawled into the space beside you. "Are ya sure about this?"
"Mhm," you replied sleepily, your arms spreading over his chest as you nestled into him like a log warming a fire. "You're warm."
Wrecker smiled to himself, feeling a sense of contentment wash over him as he closed his eyes, feeling your steady breathing against his chest.
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Tech 💤
The first time:
Sleep was not a common occurrence for Tech, so when he made the rare decision to nestle down for the night, he wasn't too perturbed to find you asleep in his allocated spot.
He paused for a moment, considering whether to wake you, but recalling your exhausted state earlier, he reasoned that you wouldn't have intentionally taken his bunk.
Instead, he quietly observed the peaceful rise and fall of your chest, noting the serenity that graced your features, before silently retreating back to the cockpit where he remained awake for the night once again.
"Tech, why didn't you wake me? I feel terrible," you expressed your guilt that next morning upon discovering that you had accidentally slept in his bunk, leaving him to forego his own rest.
"That is not necessary. You were tired, and I can always keep my mind occupied with tasks or reading intel," he replied in his usual composed manner, peering at you over his datapad. "I shall assume this was a one-time occurrence, and my bunk shall be my own again tonight."
“Yes, of course," you nodded, your expression reflecting genuine concern as you offered another apology before preparing for the demanding day ahead. Despite Tech's assurances, the weight of your unintended intrusion lingered.
The second time:
It just so happened to be the next night that you found yourself once again interrupting Tech's sleep. Moving through the dark ship with heavy eyes and a yawn on your lips, it was no surprise that you once again miscounted where your bunk was and crawled into the wrong one.
Your head hit the pillow, and your eyes shut as the warmth of the bed enveloped you. However, despite the comfort, a small flickering light kept intruding upon your consciousness, prompting your eyes to flutter open. At first, you didn't register the source, but as you turned your head to the right, your eyes widened in realisation: Tech laying there on his datapad, as if nothing had happened.
"Tech, what... am I...?" you began, your voice trailing off as confusion clouded your thoughts.
"In the wrong bunk?" he interjected calmly, settling his datapad down and gazing down at you. His goggles rested atop his head, allowing you to see the brightness of his eyes in the dark. "That is correct."
You sit up, feeling a rush of embarrassment flood over you, and run your hand over your face in frustration. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's up with me.”
Tech raises a single brow, his expression softened with genuine concern. "Perhaps in the morning, I should run some tests if you will allow me?" he suggests softly, his voice carrying a hint of worry. "But for now, I suggest you get some sleep."
Nodding in agreement, you reluctantly pull the blanket off your body, preparing to retreat to your own bunk. However, before you can make your escape, Tech's hand gently rests on your shoulder, stopping you in your tracks.
"You are free to continue sleeping in my bunk tonight if you find it comfortable," he offers unexpectedly, his gesture of kindness catching you off guard.
"What, really?" you respond, turning to face him, searching his eyes for confirmation.
With a nod, Tech reclines back and retrieves his datapad. "Yes, really. I do not mind."
"But what if I keep you awake again?" you voice your concern.
"Do not worry about me," he reassures softly, a warm smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Now, get some rest before I give you a lecture about the benefits of getting sleep."
You chuckle softly at his remark before settling, finding comfort in his understanding demeanor. As you prepare to drift off into slumber, you can't help but feel thankful for Tech's compassion and generosity.
In the quiet of the night, you woke up only once, feeling Tech's arm drape gently across your body. Yet, instead of feeling unsettled, you found comfort in his presence.
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Crosshair 💤
The first time:
As you prepared to settle in for the night after a long day, exhaustion clouded your judgment, leading you to absentmindedly crawl into a bunk without much thought. However, your relaxation was short-lived as you were startled by a gravelly voice beside you.
"What are you doing?" The abrupt question made you jump, and you inadvertently knocked your head against the top of the bunk in surprise.
"What am I doing? What the kriff are you doing?" you retorted in annoyance, rubbing your sore head as Crosshair sat up beside you, his expression stern in the dim light.
"I'll think you'll find this is my bunk," he hissed, his sharp gaze piercing through the darkness. As you glanced across the room, you realised your mistake—the bunk you were in wasn't yours.
"Oh."
"Yes. Oh. Now get out before I drag you out," he threatened, though you could tell it was more playful than serious.
"Alright, alright, keep your hair on," you sighed as you obediently crawled out of his bunk, feeling the absence of warmth as you departed.
Crosshair grumbled under his breath and rolled back onto his side to sleep, while you mentally chided yourself for the blunder, making sure you never accidentally try to sleep in his bunk again.
The second time:
You're exhausted, your head throbbing with the relentless ache of sleep deprivation from the past few days, and you've reached the point where you don't care where you sleep anymore. And that includes Crosshair's bunk.
As you settle down on the edge of his bunk, the closest one available, you feel the weight of his gaze on your back, following your movements as you swing your legs around and lay down. "What are you doing?" his voice cuts through the silence, tinged with irritation.
You don't reply, simply closing your eyes as you allow the fatigue to wash over you, hoping for a moment's respite.
"This is my bunk," he asserts firmly, his agitation evident, but as you remain silent, his annoyance shifts to confusion.
"Are you... alright?" he inquires, concern creeping into his voice.
You shake your head softly, and you hear him sigh, but he doesn't press you further. Nor does he demand that you leave.
As sleep begins to claim you, Crosshair remains awake for a while, his thoughts swirling. In his mind, he tells himself that this is a one-time occurrence.
Yet, if you're upset and in need of somewhere to rest for a while, he doesn't mind if you sleep next to him again. After all, it turns out to be the best sleep he's had in a while too.
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Masterlist
Tags: @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417@eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex x @jesseeka @theroguesully y @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97@staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @pb-jellybeans s @nunanuggets s @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 7 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @seriowan @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @imalovernotahater @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness @lulalovez @green-alm0nd @thiswitchloves9904
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initial-lime · 24 days ago
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I can’t fucking WAIt for snow!!!!!! Dude!!! My late night walks are absolutely FIRE when it’s snowing out!! 3am snowstorm walk is the time I was made to be alive in, pure bliss, fixes all my problems!!!
I love winter <3
I love snow <3
I don’t care that it’s cold I’m Scandinavian <3
Dark and cold and nice and oppressive air <3
Also!!!!!!!!! Also!!!!!!!! When it’s snowing like a WHOLE BUNCH at once and you put on all your warm clothes and then you go outside and lie on the ground and let the snow slowly bury you as you stare into the whirlwind of white frost!
I love letting the world slowly bury me, there is no one to disturb my silence as I am slowly engulfed by the earths blessings <3 a dream come true <3
Did I mention I really love when it snows?
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dilatorywriting · 2 years ago
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Monster Mayhem: Lion's Pride [Part 3]
Gender Neutral Reader x Leona Kingscholar Word Count: 6.2k
Summary: Your new job as a Full Time Royal Therapist does not pay nearly as well as you'd like. Or, Leona is more of a problem child than he would ever admit, but you're surprisingly okay at dealing with that.
[PART 1][PART 2] [PART 3]
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Sometimes you felt like you hardly knew what it meant to be a functional person, living a comfortable life on the fringes of society. So in comparison, trying to think of what it meant to be an actual prince, ruling over all of said society was something you literally could not comprehend no matter how hard you tried to wrap your head around it.  
“If you’re a Prince, what were you doing in a hole?” you asked, because you had far too many questions and concerns, and this one at least seemed easy enough to address. And also because you were genuinely pretty curious.  
The newly dubbed ‘Leona’ twitched against your back and you felt the low rumble of his snarl work its way from the depths of his gut all the way up through his chest and out his mouth.
“Holy shit,” Ace wheezed. “Screw this. I’m getting out of here before I wind up implicated as an accessory in your murder.”
And so your trusty friend abandoned you to the wolves lions?—darting away so quickly he always forget his bag, shoes, and everything else in the process.
You waved after him as he departed, knowing full well that he’d wind up stumbling back within the week, maybe two at most. He always did, no matter how much he complained about your Present Company. Plain old ‘murder’ was actually one of his more polite accusations. When he’d run into your Hunter friend the first time, Ace had gone on a wildly incoherent rant about how he was going to find your corpse strung up in a tree like some weird, ritual, sacrifice. And then that had devolved into something-something cannibalism or other. The visiting Hunter had just thrown his head back and laughed, positively enamored with the grisliness of it all. Ace had vanished for almost an entire month after that encounter, but he did come back—glaring up at you with a miserable pout like you were the one who’d gone and fucked off for thirty whole days.
Leona snorted and you felt the puff of breath against the back of your neck.
“Coward,” he grumbled, though he didn’t sound particularly displeased about your friend’s sudden departure.
“Fear lets us be brave,” you responded, wise as a sage. Or maybe an old frog in a puddle.
“Yeah?” he intoned, rolling his eyes. “And when’s that little rat ever been brave?”
“There’s always tomorrow,” you chirped, and that snort turned into something dangerously close to a chuckle. Which—gasp!—how dare such a pleasant sound fall from the lips of someone so obstinately determined to be otherwise! You grinned at the low tones of it, only for the snickering to cut off sharply in his throat once he’d realized what he was doing. And then of course he shoved you forward and out of his lap with a great amount of indignant snarling.
You laid there for a few minutes—face down in the sun-warmed grass and laughing quietly about just how ridiculous this stupid Lion was, before finally sitting up with a pleasant stretch. He could put on airs all he liked, you knew there was kernel of something far less angsty and murderous buried at the heart of him.
“So,” you hummed, lazily making your way back to your feet. “What exactly have I done to draw the realm’s Prince to my doorstep?” You squinted at him suspiciously. “You’re not here about the fairy gate thing, are you? Because that was actually an accident.”
“The what?” he frowned, brow pinched in confusion.
You waved him off. “Ah, nothing, nothing.”
Something in his jaw twitched, like now he was going to push the subject out of principle of you being shifty. But he just sighed and brought a hand up to pinch at the bridge of his nose.
“I need your help,” he said finally. Just as crabby as the first time he’d asked, if perhaps just a touch less imperious.
You arched a brow. “I think you’ve mentioned that already, yes.”
Silence.
The Lion stared you down with a slowly deepening scowl, and you stared back with a smile as placid and unmoved as the shallow pond you’d nearly drowned Ace in not an hour before.  
“If I apologize, you’ll help me?” he asked after a long moment, the question turning sharp at the end on a bitten of growl.
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” you hummed back and he crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest.
“I’m sorry,” he said, with all the pleasantry of someone undergoing a root canal. And all the sincerity of Ace swearing that this was the last time he’d get caught evading the tax man, promise.
You sighed, feeling a bit cheated. But you hadn’t really stipulated anything beyond those two little words leaving his mouth, so if anything, that was on you.
“Alright,” you huffed. “What is it you need help with?”
The Lion glared at you suspiciously for a long moment—glowing eyes narrowed into slits and tail twitching back and forth like he was swatting flies. Finally, he sighed and lifted his hands out in front of him with a pointed flex.  
“It’s not supposed to be like this,” he frowned sourly, wrists twisting to display the pointed claws tipping his fingers. “I’m not supposed to get stuck in between.”
Your eyes traced the fluffy tufts of his round ears, the black-tipped tail swishing irritably at his hind, and allowed yourself a melancholy sort of huff.
“But you look good like this,” you pointed out sadly. Because he really, truly, did. Leona without his squishy lion ears would just be… grumpy. Miserable, and angular, and angry. Nothing soft worth coddling at all.
“That’s not the point!” he snapped, baring his overlarge canines at you. There was a darker cast along his cheekbones that seemed to be making a valiant effort to crawl all the way up into his fringe. “And don’t fucking say that!”
You frowned. One second this stupid dick wanted to be praised to the Heavens and back! Practically swanning about, demanding you bow down and acknowledge his blatant superiority. But, oh no. Apparently your meager half-sentence masquerading as a compliment was too much for his delicate, princely, sensibilities.
“Fine,” you griped. “You’re ugly.”
He growled—low and rumbling—and if he was anymore of a cat you’d say you could see his hackles raising in indignation. But before he could launch into another vicious, verbal, evisceration of your person, you cleared your throat loudly in an attempt to get him back on track.   
“What do you mean by ‘stuck in between?’”
He sneered down at you testily for a moment before reaching up to pinch at the bridge of his nose again and letting out a put-upon sort of sigh that was not at all indicative of the fact that he was the one asking you for help.
“The Shift. When you found me in that pit, I should have been able to Shift between that form and this one without issue,” he frowned, brow tugging down tight with something a bit more disquieted than his usual, flat, annoyance. “The iron was a problem, but once I was out of the trap, it should have been fine. I’ve dealt with cursed snares like this before, and the effects have never lingered as long as this one has.”
You blinked owlishly. That did sound… fairly unpleasant. And honestly, if you were in his position you’d also be at least a little concerned that something else was at play. But, still, all that being said—
“I’m sorry,” you frowned, more or less genuine. Perhaps leaning a bit harder into less.“But I don’t understand how that has anything to do with me.”
“You were down there with me,” he argued. “You dismantled the trap.”
Uh, yeah. By messing with bits that looked breakable until they broke. Not exactly a high-level intellectual pursuit.
You didn’t say that, of course. Because after a few days watching you scuttle about your homestead like a particularly vocal lizard in the dirt, you were sure he already thought you were stupid enough without you outright admitting to it. Nevertheless, the Lion observed your zip-lipped silence with an ever-deepening scowl.
“You took it apart,” he tried again, nearly a growl.
“Yes,” you said with a nod.
“You know how you did it,” he continued, firm. At your lack of affirmative, he pushed again. “You know. I watched you do it!”
You raised your hand nervously and made a little so-so tilting motion.
Anyone less refined would no doubt have had their head in their hands at this point, but Leona just curled his lip at you and looked like he was fighting valiantly not to put your own very silly head through a wall.
“It was charmed,” he spat. “Bound up with talismans, and cursed down to its very moldings. That isn’t something any random farmer could walk up and break.”
“Oh,” you blinked, taken aback, and struggled to recall if there had been anything so obviously enchanted about the trap you’d fiddled into bits. “Was it?”
And head had officially met hands. He ground his clawed fingers into his temples like you were a headache that with enough determination and massaging he may somehow be able to will away.
“Couldn’t you go just home if this is such a big problem?” you asked, still genuinely baffled at it all. “Get help from your family? I mean, you’re a Prin—”
“No,” he interrupted, emerald eyes gone glacier cold.
You frowned, as unimpressed by his prickliness as you usually were. But something in you was hesitant to prod at whatever it was that had managed to tug a feral rage so tightly across his face—like drawing a shade over a window until the entire home was cloaked in shadow, or slipping away behind a carved mask too heavy to ever wear comfortably. It was an expression so sharp and so bitter that if you hadn’t only just yesterday watched this stubborn man lounge about in the sun as your chickens hopped all over him like he was the world’s most carnivorous jungle gym, you wouldn’t ever have known that they could be the same person at all. 
“Alright,” you shrugged, and some of that angry, hunched, defensiveness eased into confusion.
“Hah?” he frowned.
“Alright,” you said again. “We’ll figure it out here.” He glared over at you balefully, and you waved off the obvious retort on the tip of his tongue about something-something-you have no idea what you’re doing-something-something-dangerous risks and lifelong consequences-blablabla. “I have a friend who would know a lot more about those kinds of traps and talismans that I do. He could help, probably.”
“Probably?” he scoffed. Though when he rolled his eyes, they weren’t quite so hate filled—lids hooded with a familiar, begrudging sort of irritation rather than outright malice.
“He’s a bit of an enigma,” you explained—wiggling your fingers in a little, sparkly, dance to emphasize the, well, enigmatic part.
Another huff. But amidst that grumpy bellyaching, you watched those fluffy ears of his slowly perk back up atop his head, and his tail swish leisurely behind him. The Lion certainly didn’t look happy (but did he ever? So was that really a fair comparison?), but he definitely seemed like he’d thawed into something less ‘frigid dead of winter’ and more ‘unpleasantly nippy spring morning.’
“Weirder than you, herbivore?” he sniffed, looking down his nose at you and crossing his arms loosely over his chest. “I find that hard to believe.”
Normally you would too. But, well…
“He’s charming,” you chirped pleasantly, and Leona’s face twisted up like you’d served him a bowl of rancid yogurt.
.
.
That night you composed a letter to your dearest Hunter friend. You thanked him for bringing you the White Moor Stag, elaborated a bit on the new marinade you’d been experimenting with, and then ended the whole thing with a polite plea for his aid in deconstructing the mechanisms of a magical trap you’d encountered. You bribed one of your two carrier pigeons with some snacks and watched it fly off into the unknown with a little, cream-colored envelope tied to its foot. Message talismans were much simpler and far more convenient, but the Hunter always seemed to appreciate the personal touch of postal birds.
Leona glared at you from the window, and made some dramatic swipe at your pigeon like he meant to knock it out of the air. The poor bird tottered about like an overfilled water balloon—jiggling and wriggling in its roundness before eventually righting itself and continuing on into the sky with a warbled coo coo.
“Don’t be rude,” you huffed at him.
“I can’t believe you still won’t let me in,” he sneered from beneath the fluff of that blanket you’d gifted him. “I apologized.”
“Yes, but you actually have to mean it,” you explained, not unkindly, as he prowled just beyond the glass. “But we’re making progress!” you beamed. “That’s something! Maybe you’ll make it in here within the next five years, hmm?”
“Or I could just wipe out the entirety of your ridiculous dirt farm now,” he threatened, a bit of that sandy magic swirling sinisterly along his fingers.
“You certainly could, your highness,” you agreed easily. His lip curled unpleasantly, but that glowing, gritty, arcana faded away and he didn’t move from where he’d tucked himself up under the duvet.
After another solid fifteen minutes of his pissy glowering and barbed insults, you pointedly unclipped the ties on your curtains and let them fall shut so that his ridiculous pouting was hidden away behind the thin, cotton, mess of poorly stitched flowers and herbs.
(You did leave a nice dinner plate on the ledge before that, with extra portions of meat and a neatly frosted cookie for dessert. Because as much as your day had been a bit rough, you had a feeling his melancholy extended far beyond being left out in the dark for another evening.)
.
.
The next morning, your doddering pigeon returned with an elegantly bound scroll—all embellished with golden filagree and tied up in a neat, crimson, bow.
“Why does this freak call you ‘mon cher ami,’” Leona sniffed, tongue curling awkwardly over the unfamiliar words.
You sighed and debated snatching the letter back, but all that would probably culminate in was the paper in tatters and a smug beastman lording his superior letter-wrangling skills over your head like a trophy.
“It’s just one of his little ticks,” you explained with a shrug. “I told you—he’s charming.”
“Ah, yes,” Leona drawled, tracing a claw along the parchment’s edge with a soft shhhhhft. A raised, white, line cut across the paper’s surface like the beginnings of a wound. “Waxing poetic nonsense in a foreign language. Rambling on about all kinds of useless fucking garbage. Charming.”
“You,” you snipped, reaching out to smack at his tightening grip before he could rend the poor correspondence to bits, “are not one to talk about ‘charming.’”
“Oh?” he scoffed. He maneuvered around your tutting to hold the letter over your head. Typical. When you leaned forward to try and wrangle it back, Leona leaned in closer—eyes going hooded and lips curling into a smug little smirk that promised all sorts of trouble. “Haven’t had any complaints about that before. Who’d be saying otherwise?”
“The person you left stranded at the bottom of a pit, you inglorious oaf,” you griped. His ears immediately swiveled to pin flat against the top of his head, and you used the distraction of his indignation to finally snatch back your prize. “Besides,” you huffed, straightening out some of the new wrinkles. “Not very Prince-like, is it? A real prince would have swept in to save the idiot in distress. Sword drawn, banners flying,” you sighed, a bit too besotted with your own imaginings. “Why did you have to be such a dick, huh? Ruined my fantasies for the rest of my life.”
“And what?” Leona snapped. “Some rogue bastard sending you cursive garbage does it for you?”
“Better than being left for dead in a hole after saving their life,” you smiled—perfectly, poisonously, pleasant.
Leona rumbled something indiscernible under his breath and turned to glare petulantly off across your garden.
“Besides,” you hummed, looking over the letter. “There’s more important things. Like this—right here. Do you know what a self-bored stone is? He’s thinking maybe there was a process like that with the iron shackles. Or maybe something to do with seeping the components in herbs… Hmm…”
“Whatever,” Leona scoffed. “I’ll try whatever it takes to fix this shit.”
You clapped him amiably on the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, tête de noeud!”
“The fuck did you just call me?!”
“Poetic nonsense,” you chirped, and Leona looked half ready to drop you back into the hole where he’d found you.
.
.
The first attempt to aid the Lion Prince in his conundrum didn’t go particularly well.
You’d tried to work off of the whole ‘overlap with a self-bored stone’ theory, but all that really amounted to was you gesturing like an over-serious crossing guard for him to walk under every low hanging branch, every arch, beneath the stunted beams of the chicken coop. You dangled rocks from strings and waved around your little creations like slightly more dangerous pompoms.
Penelope clucked irritably when one of the pebbles fell with a plunk into her nest, and Leona frowned up at you from where the wayward chicken had firmly situated herself in his lap.
“How was any of that supposed to help?”
You drew a blank and promised to try something new tomorrow.
The next day you tried herbs. The Hunter had listed off quite a few that were known to cause lingering issues with magical creatures, and you harvested the lot of them from your garden with ease. You held them up to Leona’s face one by one, brow furrowed in concentration, as you waited for… something.
“How is this any better than the rocks?” he complained.
You pushed the bright, butter-yellow, blossoms of some Saint John’s Wort under his nose until he sneezed and shoved you away with a slew of indignant threats to your person.
The following few days were spent perusing your meager library. You carted every book you owned on magic, and binding rituals, and rune smithing out into the yard. Leona looked over at the slowly growing pile of tomes with a truly unimpressed scowl.
“You could have just invited me inside,” he griped, rolling his eyes. He was splayed out in the grass at your side, his head tossed lazily across your lap after he’d complained that he needed at least some leverage to see what you were trying to read.
“Nice try,” you hummed, reaching for your page of hastily scribbled notes. “But you’re not getting off without a genuine apology that easy.”
A week passed in this fashion, with you attempting to string together more and more ludicrous ideas—throwing everything you had at the wall and hoping something, anything, would stick. But Leona’s ears stayed tufted and round. That tail seemed to only grow more twitchy, his claws longer and sharper.
You sent the Hunter another letter and waited anxiously for a reply. When it arrived the next morning, Leona snatched it from your pigeon before you’d even made it out your front door. It was a miserable sort of day—pouring rain and with nothing but the grey cloud cover overhead to color the world.
He read it over once, twice, before dropping it to the ground. You could see the tendons twitching along his jaw, could practically hear his molars grinding in his frustration.
You plucked the note from the grass and looked it over carefully.  
‘Mon ami, while I am loathe to address this, perhaps it is not the make of this trap at all that is causing such a vexation? Is there any chance that rather than this being a lingering malady, that this friend of yours was simply unable to overcome the initial curse in the first place?’
You glanced back up at Leona, who was intermittently clenching his fists at his sides. You could see the harsh indentations from where his claws were digging into the skin of his palms.
‘Sometimes such things just happen, je crains. The flesh may be willing, but often the spirit is weak. You mentioned this Roi du Leon has a powerful family he may turn to for assistance. Certainly one of them may be strong enough to overcome this curse for him, even if he perhaps is not.’
“Of course it’s all because I’m a fuck up,” Leona snarled. Some of that spitting, sandy, magic of his seeped into the air. It bit at the rain like an overeager dog. You could see it dancing along his skin—fighting to pull his features one way or another.
“He didn’t say that,” you pointed out gently. “And even if you were, there’s nothing wrong with needing help sometimes. Your family—"
“—Would rather I keeled over dead and stopped sullying my brother’s perfect fucking reputation!” he snapped. “Heir to the King’s Roar,” he scoffed. “Stupid. I was never going to be a king to begin with. And even if I had been born first, they would have deposed me to put their flawless, favorite, golden boy on the throne anyways.”
That... That was a lot. You stared at the pacing Lion with wide eyes—unsure how to help, unsure if any attempts to do so would only make this worse. This was—this was so above your ‘happy, homey, hermit’ paygrade.
“Of course this is all because of me,” he hissed, that roiling, angry, arcana coiling around him like curdled milk. The pupils in his eyes flickered oddly from round to thin-cut, hard, lines. Beastly. “Of course it was because I wasn’t good enough.”
“Leona,” you tried, as gentle as you could be.
The Prince threw his head back and laughed. And laughed, and laughed.
“I should have known!” he cackled, borderline hysterical. “I should have fucking known!”
“Leona—” you tried again, reaching out a hand.
Only to be immediately knocked on your ass by an explosion of magic.
You’d heard of self-destruction—of implosion. The arcane wonders of the world were a wily and unyielding mistress. While creatures like Leona who were so naturally steeped in ancient magics and sorcery could control that beast more adeptly than some little mortal like you, it didn’t make them any less susceptible to its dangers. If anything, they had it worse. It was like sitting in a shallow stream versus wading out into a roaring ocean. So much more opportunity, such a higher aptitude for greatness, but far too easy to drown beneath the churning tides of it all.
The inky, geometric, swirls along his arms pulsed like a heartbeat. They crawled along his skin and traced black patterns into his veins. Even you could feel the horrible, dark, stickiness of it—as the magic ate him alive. His face twisted back and forth between human and animal, and you watched him contort and snarl under the weight of it before turning on you with a vicious roar.
Uh oh.
The first wave of magic seared the ground, leaving nothing but strange, grey, sand in its wake. The more he snapped and clawed wildly at anything and everything, the more that dusty desert spread. You managed to hop out of the way of most of it—sparing a single, sad, thought for all the poor plants you’d worked so hard to cultivate dying a miserable, grainy, death.
The next arc of magic shot straight from his clawed fingers, and it managed to catch the flesh of your forearm. It was sharper than any dagger or sword that you’d ever had the pleasure of accidentally nicking yourself with, and it tore its way down your arm like a raging beast, leaving an eerie, tacky, bubbling mess in its wake. And ouch did it hurt—like someone was taking a fistful of coarse sand and rubbing it into the open wound. You ground your teeth against the strange, gnawing, sensation and hastily wrapped a bit of torn fabric around the weeping gash to keep it a bit more contained. You waited for the worst of it to pass, for that initial bite to fade into a more manageable throb. But it didn’t. It just got sharper and tighter, hotter and hotter. For a moment it felt like your skin was crackling—like firewood popping and splitting beneath the weight of a blaze. From across the field, Leona made a noise like a hurricane given voice, and you bit back a groan.
‘Oh come on,’ you hissed to yourself. ‘Not now, please.’  
And while you’d been mostly referring to the Lion losing another brick of his sanity fort, your wound seemed to pulse at the command—a sensation not unlike the soft drone of the wards carved deep into the support beams of your dilapidated home, and an impression of words tingling along your nerves without any real shape or form. ‘Alright. Later then.’ Like a breath of wind along your fingertips. That pulsing doubled back, and the wrap you’d hurriedly tied around your forearm hummed low with gentle arcana.   
And then the cracking stopped. Just like that. Like it’d given up on eating you alive and decided to head home early for the day.
Huh, you though a bit dazedly, before hurriedly ducking out of the way of another swipe.
You clutched your still smarting but at least now functional arm to your chest, and Leona turned on you and your ethereal booboo with a raging snarl. But then that glowing glare caught on the blood trailing down towards your wrist in too dark, too thick, rivulets and his eyes went wide. It wasn’t much, but the strange bought of shock rocketing through him gave you a handful of seconds of ceasefire. You reached into your pocket with your uninjured hand and pulled out a thick bit of cardstock. This was supposed to be for emergencies, goddamn it! And you’d spent so much money on this stupid little thing! And—
You shook off the mildly delusional complaints bogging down your brain and unfolded the paper between your fingers. The sigils inked into it hummed against your skin, and the rain sluffed off its face like the cold and the damp were no bother at all.
“Fucking—” you flung the talisman at your ridiculous, rampaging, guest. It fluttered like the beat of a hawk’s wings and dove towards him with just as much vicious precision. “GO TO SLEEP!”
The enchantment smacked into his face with an echoing THUNK and you watched those too-bright eyes of his roll up into his head as he collapsed to the ground in a heap.
With the main source of all the Magical Warfare knocked unconscious, most of the miasma began to disperse—like dust caught up in a gale. The rain washed away the rest. It slid into the mud and seeped back into the earth. The plants and animals seemed to give a collective sigh, and some of your more courageous chickens even started to venture in close to peck at the leftover destruction.
You approached the felled Prince hesitantly. The talisman had been meant for subduing an enemy with a more human constitution, so you doubted it would keep him down for very long.
“Hey,” you grouched, poking his side. He twitched a bit but didn’t move otherwise. “Hey, asshole,” you tried again. Still, nothing. Uh oh.
You reached down to wedge an arm under him and hoist him upright. The singed skin of your forearm brushed along his jaw as you attempted to maneuver his bulk, and his nose twitched sharply at whatever scent was trapped in the dark, cracking, gash there. His brow scrunched up like you’d just doused him in spoiled milk, so naturally you went about waving your wounded flesh beneath his nostrils like the world’s strangest smelling salts.
After a moment he blinked back awake, face twisted up into the most properly disgruntled mien of distaste that you’d ever seen on a person who’d only just barely managed to claw their way back into the world of the living.
“Herbivore,” he rumbled, still looking more than a bit dazed.
Good enough.
You manhandled him back onto his feet as best you could—turning yourself into an impromptu crutch to try and get him mobile again. The sand shifted and sank beneath your heels, making dragging his ridiculous, dramatic, ass even more of a challenge. As you hauled him towards your cottage, you complained to him in earnest. Every little irritation under the sun. Half because you’d probably never have another opportunity to bitch at him so thoroughly without getting your own earful of grievances in return, half to keep him conscious—keep him focused on staying here. With you. And not… Wherever it was he’d gone in those moments of delirium.  
“I still don’t get why you call me that,” you griped, readjusting your grip on him when he’d started to slide down to the point his nose had buried itself against your collarbone. “Herbivore. I’ve cooked so much meat for you since you decided to crash here. Talked about how I prepare it, and the flavors I experiment with—I literally gave you some from my own sandwich when we first met! That I ate the rest of! In front of you!—”
When you finally herded him over the threshold and into your little cottage, the wards and their protection slipped around him like the soft current of a stream. You hardly even noticed the way the old magics ruffled his hair—and that was only because you were actively looking, half convinced the house was still about to toss up an invisible barrier and send him sprawling back into the dirt.
Leona wobbled on his feet, and his eyes were still too far away and grey.
You grabbed him by the ear and maneuvered his too-tall self into one of your rickety kitchen chairs. The wood groaned under the sudden press of his dead weight, but it didn’t collapse beneath him so it wasn’t worth fussing over. Once you were certain he wasn’t about to fold over sideways and crumple to the ground (or at least, that he was angled enough over a rug that he wasn’t going to crack his head on the stone floor), you rushed off to your bookcases and shelves and began hurriedly rumaging through your collection of nonsense.
The charms, the charms. Where were your emergency charms?! You’d thought you left them right there on the—Ah! There we go.
You pulled the raggedy binder from its place on the shelf, blew away the coating of dust that had settled over the top of it, and returned to your patient.
You flipped open the worn leather hooks and began sorting through the dozens upon dozens of sheets of enchanted parchment within. They were unimpressive—just small, rectangular, bits of faded paper inlaid with the softest kinds of magic. Not meant for much more than coaxing warmth into chilly limbs or placing a soft kiss over a scraped knee. But medicines were medicines—whether arcane in origin or otherwise. If you—if you just doused him in the things, that would probably work. Right? Of course it would. That made perfect sense.
So you slapped the first talisman square in the middle of his forehead. Leona swayed at the wet SMACK of the paper gluing itself to his soaked-through skin, but aside from the faintest, startled, widening of his eyes, he didn’t do anything else to complain. So you stuck the next charm to his cheek, and then another on the opposite one too.
“Magic overuse is dangerous,” you chastised as you went about layering a veritable novel’s worth of pasty, paper, enchantments up his arms. The soft spells worked their way into his skin, and you watched those twisting, black, shapes skitter back up towards where they’d once sat peacefully curled around his bicep. “Are you trying to kill yourself, hah?!”
Instead of snapping back at you like normal, he just sort of… sat there. Accepting your angry accusations in frosty silence. He absolutely looked like a cat that you’d fished out of a bag in the river. Pathetic, and sad, and droopy. And… quiet. So, very, quiet. You frowned, because as much as you didn’t particularly enjoy being insulted every minute of the day, the Lion’s biting little remarks had become… familiar, at the very least. Even if they weren’t entirely pleasant. Even if he was far from pleasant.
The dampness on his skin was starting to curl the edges of your talismans, and you reached forward with a huff to at least pull the freezing, soaked-through, vest off his shoulders. The leather jacket landed with a wet plap on the stone floor, a cold puddle already pooling around all its stupidly intricate, embroidered, edges. Something fluttered out of one of the open pockets—small, and off white, and crinkled. You stepped over the whole mess to retrieve a pile of towels and didn’t give it a second thought.
“Make a mess of my home, why don’t you,” you complained, dropping one of the towels over the entirety of his head before reaching forward to start drying him off with perhaps a bit more force than necessary. “Drip all over the floors I just mopped, why don’t you. Be emotionally constipated and almost turn my whole yard into a sand pit, why don’t you—”
A hand reached out to snag your wrist, and you let him pull you away from your attempts to rub all that stupidly thick hair straight off his head.
From beneath the curtain of the cotton towel, you could see Leona glaring at the long, dark, scratch curling along your forearm. It certainly wasn’t… nice to look at. The gymnastics of getting him into your cottage had managed to displace the impromptu bandage, so the whole of it was just there. Bruised, and dark, and odd looking. But ugly or not, it was hardly bleeding or anything anymore! And he was the one who had almost just self-destructed in your front yard!
‘Think of the accusations!’ you wanted to wail. ‘Can you imagine the garbage I would have to deal with if I wound up with a dead royal fertilizing my garden?! No thank you!’
But before you could complain about his fussing, his claws flexed against the soft skin of your palm and you saw the muscles along his forearm tense—like he was fighting to keep still.
“You should be dead,” he muttered, terse.
You huffed. “Look, I know you think humans are all sorts of pathetic, but I’m not that—”
“You should be dead,” he repeated, sounding as if the words had to tear their way out of his throat—scraping like shards of glass all the way up.
You stared at his dark eyes and dripping bangs—the shadows playing across his cheeks and the strange, hollow, wrongness that had settled over all of him. With a heavy sigh you plopped yourself down into the chair across from his and dragged a handful of the leftover charms your way. Pointedly, you took one and slapped it over the wound. And then another.  
“See?” you said, flexing your wrist in his grip to put the creeping, black, cut on display. The talismans glowed softly against your skin and the lingering whisps of darkness licking at the the injury began to fade. “All better. Not something a dead person would say at all.”
Leona frowned, but at least it looked a bit more annoyed than outright bleak. And besides, frowns were better than whatever that stoic, expressionless, numbness had been.
“Though I appreciate your concern,” you grinned, pointedly sharp and prodding. Like a toddler standing by with a stick, hoping to poke out a reaction. “Truly, whatever would I do without the Great Lord Lion there to fret over me?”
But instead of the acidic ‘I wasn’t fucking worried,’ that you were expecting, or even a more muted grumble of dissent, Leona’s brow just pinched in displeasure and your awkward attempts at teasing faded into terse silence.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, almost too quiet to hear—his head low and eyes lower.
You sighed and twisted your wrist around to pat at his hand. There was the faintest tremor in his fingers and you tangled your own between them to give him something to squeeze, something to hide the shiver of lingering malaise that he would no doubt deny with his dying breath. You observed the stern, tight, expression warping his otherwise handsome face—the miserable, puckered, angle of his mouth and the way the emerald of his eyes was cut through with a shadow of genuine remorse. You reached out with your other hand to pet at his soft, round ears. They squished flat beneath your palm and your lips twitched up into a fond, little smile. Leona tipped his chin just enough to glower at you from beneath his bangs with no real heat, and you sighed and gave him one more pat for good measure.
“You’re forgiven.”
.
.
.
TAG LIST [CLOSED]
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initial-lime · 2 months ago
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Boom!! My very own magtober prompt list!! I’m gonna do my best to complete this!! It’d be super cool if people tagged along even if just for individual prompts (:
If you follow along my list make sure to tag me!!!! I wanna see what creative stuff y’all get up to!! Any mediums welcome!!!
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There’s at least prompt for each fear, plus a couple extra buried ones because. Well. It’s my me damn list
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Let's do the OG cat. Do you think Meowth would be a good pet?
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Yes, a meowth would indeed make a good pet! In fact, we finally have another member of the “pretty much just a cat” cat-agory. If you are the owner of a real-world cat, or are a cat person in general, chances are you would have no problem welcoming a little meowth into your life. Just make sure you have some spare change on hand, it’s the quickest way into one of these little guys’ hearts.
Meowths are the perfect size to be a house pet at just over a foot tall. You’d have no problem making space for them in most homes, and getting them around is a breeze. While they have some formidable claws, they are able to retract them (Ruby/Sapphire), so the risk of an accidental scratch from a meowth is about equal with a normal cat (experienced cat owners, interpret that info as you will).
Meowths are pretty easygoing pokémon with a long track-record of getting along with humans, especially those with generous, full pockets. Meowths can be fickle at times (Ultra Moon) and are often free-wandering spirits (Red/Blue). A responsible meowth owner needs to make sure that they don’t let their meowth menace the native bird and bug pokémon of their neighborhood, since these little hunters are avid explorers. Keeping a meowth happy is as simple as providing them with a steady supply of coins or coin-like offerings. Meowths have a natural love for round, shiny objects (Red/Blue, Yellow), and they are known to hoard (Silver) and play with them until they fall asleep (Gold). Make sure to provide your meowth with a safe spot to store their hoard!
While standard meowths get along with other pokémon species well enough — aside from rivals like murkrows (Moon) — keep in mind that they are known to not get along well with other regional variants, like Galarian meowths (Shield). Meowths will be most at-home with night-owls, as these pokémon are mostly nocturnal (Yellow).
Despite their sharp claws, meowths aren’t exceptionally dangerous. Most of their natural move set revolves around scratching enemies, which shouldn’t do much damage to a person beyond the superficial wounds that any standard house cat could inflict. Before I move on from the topic of meowths’ moves, I need to address the money-generating elephant in the room: Pay Day. This signature move is well known amongst pokémon trainers, because upon a hit the meowth scatters coins on the ground. There’s a common misconception that owning a meowth is essentially a get-rich-quick scheme due to this move, but don’t get it twisted: as far as we know, meowths can’t generate money out of thin air. It’s far more likely that these battling pokémon are using their secret collection to attack. Besides, if you’re looking to adopt a pet just to get money, your heart’s not really in the right place.
In all honesty, if you’re a cat person, you’re a meowth person. They’re essentially cats that walk on two feet. They’re clever (I’ve even heard rumors that they have the ability to learn to speak, though I’ve never seen it confirmed), curious, and cute, and the perfect pet for many owners.
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initial-lime · 4 months ago
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I have no fucking clue what’s going on, 2 of my mutuals listen, I know we’re upset about my blorbo in law being blond or something though
Also there’s a guy who keeps killing his siblings??????????
Idk, whoever the trawler man is I think I have beef with him, not sure why though because idk who they are. I don’t even go here
sometimes i wonder what it’s like to have tsv mutuals but not listen yourself. like once every three weeks you get ppl going OHHH MY GODDD SCHLORPO IS GONNA BLOW UP LOBSTER TOWN 😭😭😭
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blaydie · 3 months ago
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Gender neutral reader x Blade
Synopsis: An accident at the accommodation resulted in a late-night stroll to the store. Tensions were high as things grew heated between you and Blade. After resolving your issues, you were met with yet another challenge just before entering the store. He was sure no one would recognise him while he was dressed undercover.
Word count: 1.3k
Contains: Slice of life, subtle displays of affection, Blade in casual attire, gender neutral reader, fluff.
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Duty calls. Except, it wasn’t duty at all. It was an evening stroll to the store to stock up on food supplies after a kitchen incident. Burnt food. A completely wrecked pan too. You were guilty as charged for destroying the pan, but he was the one who forgot it was on the stove in the first place. 
By your side was Blade, his appearance concealed from head to toe: a black beanie, sunglasses, surgical mask, and a matching black outfit to go. If you weren’t handed money before heading out of the door, you would question whether you were sourcing these items ethically with his mysterious appearance or if you were robbing the building. 
It was tense. His strides were far too long for you to keep up, trailing behind greatly while he effortlessly walked ahead. Though he claimed he wasn’t upset, it was clear he was throwing some form of tantrum. The two of you had been screaming at one another in the kitchen, managing to alert the rest of the Stellaron Hunters who were present.
“Can you slow down?” You call out, though he doesn’t pause. He turns his head to address you. 
“Perhaps you should train more.”
“You’re ridiculous. If you learned how to properly tend to a stove we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“Who in the right mind puts a hot pan directly into cold water?”
“I was panicking.” You mumble, not expecting him to hear it over the strong gusts of wind.
“You were panicking? I was the one who had to put the fire out while you stood there, doing nothing, yelling down my ear.”
With a displeased grunt, he slows his pace down and waits for you to reach his side. There would be no point in forming an active rivalry with someone he is forced to work with and live alongside. If life wasn’t already some form of misery, dealing with that would be the deciding factor testing whatever remains of his patience. 
Blade doesn’t hate you. He’s mostly indifferent to the people around him. There are times when he appears more distant than others, but he’s mostly pleasant company on rare occasions. 
“Would you like to walk around the pier before we head back?”
“Why?” Blade stares down at you, a lock from his bangs escaping the beanie as his head tilts.
“You like it there, don’t you?”
“Sometimes. We’ll see what time it is when we’re done.”
“You look so different like this.” Stringing the conversation along, you attempt to distract him from the previous heated scene.
“What?”
“Casual. It’s strangely off-putting.”
“Do you think I sleep in a suit?” Blade scoffed. He wasn’t offended, simply baffled by how idiotic you make yourself sound on occasion.
“I wouldn’t put it far past you.”
“Do you say the same thing to the others?”
His question was met with silence. Amused by your unspoken answer, he snickers. 
“I see how it is.” He added, returning his vision to the road ahead.
“It’s nothing personal. When I first met you, I got the impression that you were overly formal, even in your downtime.”
“That means I was doing my job right.”
“I suppose. You’re not as bad as I thought you were.” While it’s true you struggled to bond with him at first, you feel yourself becoming more comfortable by his side as days go by.
“You’re bearable.”
“I’ll take your compliment as a sign our argument is officially concluding.” Leaning over, you press your head against him before he nudges you away, a humorous huff of air exerting from his nose. 
Now in the main streets of the city, the amount of civilians and the volume of surrounding areas drastically increases. Crowds were bustling around street food stalls and vendors were flagging over customers from afar, children innocently playing in the fountains which sprayed out from the floor while their parents watched on nearby benches. 
Despite it being overwhelming, you found an odd sense of peace while being in this area. Blade kept his head low and made sure you remained close to his side. Losing you amongst the crowds would only prolong the outing for much longer than necessary. 
As you drew closer to the store you usually go to, you felt an odd amount of eyes on you. Getting glances in public was something you had grown accustomed to, but this was far more than a handful. Blade didn’t seem to notice, continuing his saunter to get things over with.
Just before you reach the storefront, the squeals of young girls echo out from behind. Footsteps rapidly charged, their words becoming registered as they inched closer.
“Is it really him?! Are you sure?!” One of them exclaims, clearly eager to grab a glance. 
“It is! It looks just like him!”
“Get your camera out!”
Storming in front of you and blocking your path is a group of youthful girls, the smiles on their faces wide as they gaze in awe at Blade who stands puzzled in front of them.
“Ah, I can’t believe it! I loved you in the new drama! May I please have your autograph?”
“You did so well! When is your next movie going to be out? We saw the film set on social media!” Another says, gawking as though he was the first man she had ever laid eyes on.
“My next movie?” Blade furrows his brows, glancing back at you with a frantic sense of horror in his eyes.
“How to Steal a Heart! The romcom!”
“Please sign my notebook! Can you write my name and a note too?”
“Give him a moment. He’s still growing used to fan interaction.” You interject the girls who were waddling closer, stretching your arm as a makeshift barrier.
“Okay, thank you, manager! You’re so lucky. I would love to have your job!”
“I have a pen if you need one!”
While they continue to gush, you pull Blade aside, his cheeks bearing a pink tinge from embarrassment. Initially, you had thought your cover had been blown. It had, but not in the way either of you were expecting.
“Are you alright?”
“Who do they think I am?” Judging by the tone, you can tell he was overwhelmed. It was sudden—you feel the pressure too.
“There’s a movie out now in cinemas with the debut of a new actor. He had quite a large social media presence which landed him the role.”
“I’d rather the guards have caught us.”
“Are you going to sign their books?”
“I’m not the person they think I am!”
“If you don’t, it’ll cause more of a scene. They’ll start to question who you are. We don’t need any more attention on us.”
“Nothing I have done could amount to me deserving this. Why does this never happen to anyone else?”
“Enough of the self-pity. This is what his signature looks like; do your best to replicate it.”
Analysing the unique features of this man’s handwriting, Blade grunts and turns back to the girls who were eagerly waiting for him. Reaching forward, he takes the pen and begins scribbling on the notebooks handed, quickly getting them out of the way. Just when he thought he was done, the girl who asked for a photo tugged him by the arm and raised her phone.
“Can we do the heart pose with our hands? I do one half and you do the other!”
“…” Blade stares at you, the nod of your head giving him the answer he needs. “Fine.”
It was a sight to see. With a few more flashes of the camera, he was finally free, the girls scurrying away when they were content with what they had forged from him. In one swift movement, he snatched you by the forearm and dragged you inside.
Speeding through the aisles, Blade gathered everything necessary and dumped it in the basket while you checked out at self-service. When all items are bagged, you make your way outside and are instantly directed on a different route. The area became quiet; you and Blade seemed to be alone on this narrow path. After a few more minutes of following the desolate road, the sparkling lights of the pier finally come into view.
“So, when can I get your autograph?” You tease, shooting him a glance as he takes his sunglasses off.
In a sudden motion, he takes your wrist and grips it firmly in his gloved hand. Using the tip of his index finger, he traces the letters of his name onto your palm, invisibly engraving himself on your skin.
“I don’t believe I need any more fans this evening. We have to head back soon.” Even though he carried the same monotone voice, it seemed softer than usual. This was his time to relax after enduring an excessive amount of unnecessary stress this evening. Having you by his side wasn’t so bad after all. What would he have done without you?
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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 1 year ago
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Soulmatch™ — App-grade your love life!
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(new picture bc this is the renjun i imagined in this)
pairing: huang renjun x reader
au/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, strangers to enemies to lovers...?, non-idol!AU
characters: huang renjun, f!reader, best friend!jaemin, best friend!haechan, friend!chenle, renjun's parents
word count: 24.807 words (oh my god)
general warnings: mentions of cheating, men being dudes and dudes being bros, lack of communication, haechan is a milf hunter, trust issues, insecurities regarding relationships, hook ups, smoking, alcohol, mentions of vomit (nothing graphic or detailed, literally just the word), mentions of erectile dysfunction (???), emotional manipulation..? past na jaemin x reader, implied past huang renjun x wong yukhei / lucas, toxic masculinity, daddy issues, haechan and jaemin talk very vulgarly and do not know boundaries, mentions of virginity, crying, heartbreak, author makes use of their limited knowledge of tarot.
smut warnings: ...hate sex...?, unprotected sex (nuh-uh!), fingering and brief oral (f receiving), face-fucking, switch!renjun, switch!reader (?), pet names, a lot of imagining sex, brief choking, mentions of anal, creampie.
synopsis: Renjun is a hopeless romantic, his goal is to meet his perfect match by the end of the year, maybe even his soulmate. The perfect solution: an experiment for finding love through an app. Renjun doesn't care who it is, as long as they're a perfect match, he thinks. But then you show up...
a/n: i really love this so much. it's a bit different from what i usually do bc it has a real storyline! it's complicated (not really)! i really poured my heart and soul into this. i love renjun so much. argh! also, why do my endings always feel rushed???? help???
taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09 @babyjenono @noonaisreading
"Why the fuck do they need information on my favorite toys from ages five to ten?" Renjun groans, rubbing his temples before quickly grabbing ahold of his phone to facetime his mother. The ringing sound of his phone had always managed to annoy him, and he wonders whether there'd be a section in the forms where he could put that down.
Staring at himself on his screen, he fixes his brown hair. It had gotten quiet long over the past few weeks since his last haircut. Admittedly, he hasn't had the energy to leave the house, really, thankful for his freelancer job that allows him to work from the confines of his own four walls. Although, he'd thought about growing his hair out anyway.
Finally, his mother answers the phone.
"No, it's Renjun... No, turn the TV down! Down! Lower the volume," his mother shouts, not at him, but at what he could only assume is his father, judging by the Jackie Chan movie playing in the background, that after all these years, he can identify by the sounds only.
"Hello, Junnie," his mother finally addresses him, a gentle smile on her face, a harsh contrast to the annoyed frown she'd thrown at her husband earlier.
"Hey, mom," Renjun says, tapping on his own video so it would fill the screen instead of his mother's.
"How are you doing?"
"Fine, fine. Uh, listen. Do you remember which toys I liked when I was 5?" Renjun finally lets his hair fan over his forehead in peace, getting frustrated that it's not staying in the exact place he wants it to. He's only talking to his mother anyway. That woman'd wiped his ass a few years back, so why bother.
"What an odd question," she grins, briefly getting distracted by something happening behind her phone which she shoos away with her hand and a tight lipped frown that disappears as soon as he lays her eyes back on her son.
"I just need to know. It's really important."
"Okay, let me think. I believe you liked this one thing- this squishy" – her hand squishes the air in front of her phone – "what is it called?"
Renjun can hear his father's voice from behind the phone, "what? Plushie?"
"Yes! You had a plushie that you really liked!"
"A plushie..." Renjun mumbles, filling the letters into the field, "what color?"
"It was a cow."
"So black and white?"
"Those are the usual cow colors."
"Okay. And when I was six?"
"Honey, what do you need this for? Is it still this love calculator thing? You know I read that article about it online-" His mother raises her brows in concern.
"Yes, but I didn't want to say it, because-" Renjun's words get cut off by his father's obnoxiously loud voice as he yanks the phone from his mother's hands, his big head coming into view and Renjun has to immediately roll his eyes.
"That's nonsense, son, and you know it. Anyway, when will you come by again? I bought steak. You know no one can make steak like I do!"
"Yes, I know. I won't be able to make it any time soon, though." Renjun sighs, fingers fiddling with a loose string sneaking its way out of the couch cushion.
"What if I told you we had some fine wine?" – "Stop dragging our son into alcoholism," Renjun's mom finally wins the phone back, but Renjun can still hear his dad's laugh in the background.
Renjun huffs. "So? Year six?"
"Honey, I'm really not sure. You've had a fire truck phase, then enjoyed dinosaurs, then couldn't get enough of those collectable horses. You were a very diverse kid with so many different interests. I don't think you can categorize that or sort it into years. Just say that you liked all kinds of toys–"
"Even girls' toys!" His father laughs.
"Alright," Renjun sighs, pressing his lips tightly together before wishing his mother a good night and ending the call.
"All kinds of toys..." Renjun mutters to no one but himself as he types his answer into the box, shaking his head. He's been filling out these forms for days on end, and slowly he starts believing his parents' words that it's just nonsense.
But it is his only hope.
_____
"A what for what?" Donghyuck asks, mouth as full of burger as Renjun's own, hence why he couldn't understand him the first time. Renjun holds up his hand, chews aggressively, then swallows hard.
"An experiment for finding love," he explains a second time, and the crease in between Donghyuck's eyebrows only seems to be getting deeper with every word that leaves Renjun's lips.
"What the fuck is that?" Donghyuck asks (assumingely, Renjun still can't understand him over the huge bite of patty and bun inside of his mouth).
"You give a whole bunch of information about yourself to the scientists, and they use some software to find your ideal partner," Renjun explains briefly. There's a bit more to it than just that, but he doesn't want to overwhelm Donghyuck's brain while he's eating.
"Pff, okay?" Donghyuck says, a few crumbs of- whatever that had been only mere seconds ago flying out of his mouth and directly onto Renjun's forearm. The older contorts his face in utter disgust, shaking the sticky pieces of food off of his skin.
"You're a pig, Donghyuck," Renjun states, wiping the spot with his napkin because he can still feel Donghyuck's saliva on himself.
"I might be a pig, but at least I got game." Donghyuck finally swallows, grinning proudly with a small piece of lettuce stuck in between his teeth which Renjun has yet to decide telling him about after that insult.
"You don't have 'game'," Renjun spits, fingers motioning quotation marks, "you just have low standards. You'd fuck everything that bends over in front of you."
"That is not true!"
"Need I remind you of what happened with Chenle's mom?"
"She is a milf!" Donghyuck whines, letting his hands weakly fall down onto the table.
"Whatever." Renjun sighs. "Point is: I'm not lacking game, I just want to wait for the right person."
"Alright, two explanations, same outcome: your dick is dry as fuck," Donghyuck nods, pointing his fry at Renjun before he drags it through his vanilla milkshake and stuffs his mouth with it. Renjun presses his lips together, frowning slightly as he imagines the taste of that. "So when are you getting banged?"
"I don't want to get banged, Hyuck," Renjun answers, fingers coming up to rub at his temples. He knows he's lying, Donghyuck knows he's lying, so why did he lie? "There is more to it than sticking my dick up a hole."
"Just any hole? You didn't specify that it should be a pussy?" Donghyuck's eyes widen and he stops his motions. Renjun watches anxiously what a large amount of time Donghyuck's been holding a new fry into his milkshake for.
"I didn't. I don't care."
"You'd shag a dude?!" Donghyuck's shrill voice attracts the eyes of several people sitting around them.
"I don't know why you needed to let everybody know about that," Renjun say through gritted teeth, "but yes. I don't mind."
"I didn't know you were bi," Donghyuck finally sucks the fry into his mouth, then cleans his fingers with his tongue.
"I'm pan."
"Same thing."
Renjun opens his mouth to protest, but he's honestly a little drained to dispute with Donghyuck right now. Wow, what has he become...
"So, when are you finding real love, then?" Donghyuck tries again, empathically sensing that he just scratched at Renjun's teasing-limits and should therefore tone it down a little before he loses a friend.
"I finished filling out the forms a couple of days ago. They have to analyze it and then find someone in their data base. I'm not sure how long it's going to take," Renjun explains, losing a tad of hope with every word at the realization. It's probably going to take forever.
"Okay, then what do you say: one last time going out on pussy hunt with the boys?"
_____
Renjun realizes that this is not one of his proudest moments as he stands leaned against the bar. On the outside, he might look cool and relaxed (or at least that's what he strives for), but he's honestly close to being shit-faced and needs the bar for not losing his balance. Admittedly, it's been some time since Renjun's last time out and he's been a bit nervous.
"This is great, huh?" Chenle says next to him, cool as ever as he leans his back against the bar, keeping his balance with only his forearms. Renjun envies him.
"Totally," Renjun retorts sarcastically, but Chenle doesn't seem to pick up on it.
His other friends had already abandoned him, always with a dirty grin as they got dragged away by a pretty girl. Renjun just can't get behind this whole thing of hook-up culture. Why would you want that when you could- never mind, Renjun understands why people hook up. He really shouldn't judge other people when he's the one who signed up for a love experiment.
"So I heard this is going to be your last time going out with us?" Chenle asks, then takes a sip from his beer bottle. Renjun likes hanging out with Chenle, but the younger's busy schedule doesn't offer much time for friend activities. Chenle is generally laid back and doesn't judge others. Well, not really, he just likes to tease, but generally speaking, he is a good person to open up to.
"Yeah," Renjun answers shortly, not in the right state for a long conversation.
"Because of that love app?" Chenle asks, and Renjun briefly looks over at him to see a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Yeah," Renjun repeats in defeat.
"I think it's cool," Chenle says, corners of his mouth turning downwards making him look impressed, but Renjun doesn't seem convinced. "You know, real love. It's rare these days, I think it's admirable. Really."
"Thank you," Renjun says, a gentle smile on his lips. "Hyuck's been teasing me a lot for it, but I just.. don't like this hook-up culture. I want to settle down."
"I get you, man." Chenle nods, clinking his beer bottle with Renjun's glass that contains the last few drops of a cocktail, then empties his bottle. As if on command, a girl leans against the bar next to him, whispers something into his ear while tugging at his sleeve. A grin forms on Chenle's face before he turns to Renjun.
"Sorry, gotta go. She says she needs Daddy." Chenle winks at Renjun who gives him a combination of a genuine chuckle and an awkward smile in return, then waves at Chenle's figure getting dragged towards the restrooms.
Renjun sighs, then his eyes scan the crowd. It's stuffy, the fog machine on a too high setting making it hard to even make out faces. It also feels hot, no wonder considering the amount of bodies dancing and sweating to the sound of the music, and the entire atmosphere feels too uncomfortable to find someone he could- sleep with. All of his friends are gone anyway, there's no way they could check if he got with someone or not. Sighing once again in defeat, Renjun decides to call it a night. He steadies himself, then tumbles over to the door, pushing it open to be hit by cool air. He immediately feels like he's drank 2 glasses of alcohol less than he actually did.
"Cigarette?"
_____
"This is not something I want to brag about," Renjun says the noon after, his butt placed on a chair in Donghyuck and Jaemin's man cave. It's actually just their shared home, but judging by the looks and smell of it, Renjun cannot not call it a man cave.
"Couldn't get it up?" Jaemin asks, an understanding nod moving his head. The younger looks messed up, respectfully, his hair tousled and eyes still not completely adjusted to being awake, the size of the cup of coffee in his hands an indicator of how he's feeling right now. Donghyuck really doesn't look any better, his body leaned over the table with his forearms supporting his weight.
"What? No!" Renjun shakes his head with a frown. He really loves his friends, but sometimes he wonders why he's even friends with them.
"Did you puke on her?" Donghyuck covers his mouth with his hand. Yeah, Renjun wonders in times like these.
"No."
"Did she puke on you?"
"No! There was no vomit involved," Renjun explains, eyes widened in alarm. This conversation slowly but surely makes him wonder how his friends' hook-ups tend to go... not that he wants to know, considering all this talk about throwing up.
"Then why are you not sharing every single detail?" Jaemin grins, scooting his chair closer to Renjun until he's uncomfortably pressed up against his cheek, reeking like coffee and sleep.
"Because..." Renjun frowns in defeat. "Because she was gone this morning."
"And? What, are your balls itchy?" Donghyuck raises his brows.
"What? Why would my balls be itchy?" Renjun whines, finally peeling his cheek away from Jaemin. "She didn't give me an STD, nor an UTI. W-we used a condom, I think."
"You think?" Donghyuck laughs, straightening his back from being leaned over the table for too long. "Did our Renjunnie hit it raw?"
"Honestly, I don't know why we're talking about this?"
"Did her pussy grip you too tightly to pull out?" Jaemin asks, nodding understandingly while padding his shoulder, "happens to the best of us."
"You're a maker, Renjun," Donghyuck adds.
"First of all, I don't know what that means. Second of all: the sex was fine! Great even-" Renjun tries to defend himself and his hook-up, even though he's not entirely sure why, considering she, well, left without a trace.
"Did she smell good?"
"What, her vagina?"
"Everything."
"Uh- yes? She used perfume, and everything else smelled healthy, I guess. But what I'm trying to say is-"
"Jaemin you bastard! You really have a problem, fucking panty sniffer!" Donghyuck laughs loudly, making Renjun instantly aware of his own hangover.
"Sue me," Jaemin leans back grinning, hands coming up in faux defense.
"It bothers me that she snuck out without even saying anything!" Renjun shouts, palm coming down on the table top with such force that both of his friends jump. It goes silent for a while until Donghyuck opens his mouth once again.
"I understand, man." He leans forwards, placing a palm on Renjun's shoulder. "That was really disrespectful of her." "Not cool," Jaemin chimes in supportively. "But look on the bright side: you'll never have to see her again."
"I guess that's true," Renjun mumbles, "but-"
"But?"
Hesitantly, Renjun looks into Jaemin's face, then into Donghyuck's. "It was really good."
Chaos breaks loose, both of them cheering loudly. Donghyuck begins laughing until his knees hit the floor – an impressive action considering the amount of alcohol his system has to fight – and even Renjun manages to crack a smile.
_____
"Jun, you might wanna see this," Donghyuck proposes hesitantly from the other room. Renjun, already annoyed about having to make his way all over to the living room and abandoning his brewing tea, sighs. What in the world could be important enough to summon him from the kitchen?
"Can't it wait?"
"Believe me when I say you might wanna see this."
Renjun aggressively throws his hands in the air for no one to see, he can't live in peace for even a second with this guy. Still, he stomps over, standing in the door frame with furrowed brows and crossed arms. "I swear if this is some stupid shit again-"
"It's your dating app."
Renjun rolls his eyes, "they've been sending useless messages for the past four months, I don't fucking care."
"It says they found a match." Donghyuck finally looks up from Renjun's phone, eyes wide and mouth shaped into an 'o' form. Renjun's own eyes bulge out at the preposition. "What?!"
He stumbles over, ripping the device from Donghyuck's fingers and holds it close to his face. Indeed, there's the notification. They found them. They found someone!
"Man you should really get your eyes checked if this is how-"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm the happiest man alive!" Renjun beams, smacking Donghyuck in the back of his head without lifting his gaze from the screen. Donghyuck mewls, and it sounds a little too much like a moan, but everybody knows Donghyuck is a little pain slut, so Renjun pays him no mind.
Renjun instead klicks on the notification, the application he hasn't visited in over half a year popping up slowly. There it is. The moment Renjun had anticipated for such a long time. He's a little disappointed that he can't visit this person's profile or anything, but he quickly forgets about it as his eyes land on a button that spells: 'send an invitation'.
"Hyuck, you have to go," Renjun announces, causing Donghyuck to lift his head, gaze drifting away from his own phone screen to look at Renjun perplexed.
"Eh?"
"Leave! I have to get ready," Renjun whines, peeling Donghyuck off of his couch by his wrist. Donghyuck complies balky, but lets himself get pushed out of the front door that Renjun closes in his face immediately, then rushes into the bathroom.
The invitation was sent for tonight, 8 pm. That means he has four hours to get himself and this shit hole he calls his home ready, and the task seems nearly impossible. That is until he finds himself, embarrassingly out of breath, ruffling his hair one last time in front of the mirror by the front door before the doorbell rings. He made it just in time.
His hands shake as he presses the button that opens the door, and a little harder even as he grips the handle to open the door to his apartment.
"Get a grip," he tells himself quietly, then puts on a smile as he listens to the footsteps climbing the staircases. His heart beats rapidly against his ribcage as his eyes focus on where is soulmate is going to appear in the next few seconds.
There, a foot comes into sight, followed by...
"You?!"
Silence.
"Hi?"
"I'm gonna need a minute-"
After splashing cold water in his face in the bathroom and pulling himself together, Renjun comes back to find you sitting on his couch, looking a little nervous, but generally contained and not as bothered by this disaster as Renjun. Sitting down, Renjun watches the arms move slowly over the face of his antique clock that with every passing second omits an obnoxiously loud ticking sound that is only overshadowed by the thick tension hanging in the air. Every once in a while, his gaze traces your form on the farthest end of Renjun's couch, staring blankly at the wall.
"Why did you sneak out?" Renjun puts his thoughts into words, eyebrows scrunched together in a mixture of anger and disappointment.
"It was just a hook-up," you turn your head to whine at him, "I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this?"
"Because it-" Renjun starts, but then decides that he'd much rather not appear pathetic in front of you for moaning about that being his last sexual encounter before formally agreeing to wait for the one.
"Alright," you sigh after a while, "I'm sorry, alright?"
Renjun clears his throat and nods, "okay. Thank you."
"I'd much rather talk about the important things right now," you say, turning your entire body to sit cross-legged on the couch facing Renjun. You take a deep breath before opening your mouth again. "I'm just going to say what everyone here is thinking: the app obviously made a mistake."
Renjun's eyebrows fly upwards as he blinks once, very slowly, "excuse me?"
"Yeah. I mean, no offense, but you're obviously a softie! And I like tall men,-"
"I don't think I'm getting this right, you fucked me before?!"
"Yeah, it was fine for a night, but-"
"And why am I a softie- or, first of all, why is that bad? We both did the experiment, we're both looking for a perfect match, or am I wrong?" Renjun did not even notice getting up from his place on the sofa, or when he started pointing an accusing finger at you.
"I don't know, you take it so serious-"
"And you're being a real bitch right now." Renjun furrows his brows even further as you get up as well to stand right in front of him, your pointer finger pushing into his chest.
"I do not appreciate you calling me that."
"I have done nothing wrong, I cleaned this whole place, and even when I realized that it had to be you, of all people, I was willing to work with it, but right now, I just want to..."
Renjun realizes how close you are to him right now, he can smell your perfume, the same scent you'd worn the other night. Even if it was whole while ago, he still remembers the dusty note that now once again tickles his nostrils, immediately taking him back to that night.
"...kiss you."
Renjun hasn't even closed his mouth before your lips press against his, your passion wild and untamed as your bodies press closer, your hands immediately going to his hair, gently pulling so it stings at his scalp as Renjun's own hands roam over your form to settle on your waist and ass.
His head is clouded, his mind hazy with the feeling of you against him. He's a little embarrassed of your affect on him, immediately growing hard in his pants as soon as you hump yourself against him, content sighs flowing from his mouth into yours.
It's hectic, hands touching everywhere at once all of a sudden, fingers clutching clothing in an attempt to rid the other of them, limbs tangling as Renjun moves the both of you to the nearby bedroom.
You somehow manage to peel yourselves out of your clothes, Renjun can feel how wet you are for him, and though he's so focused on only you, he can't help but comment spitefully, "you prefer tall men, huh?"
"Fuck you," you gasp before kissing him again, and Renjun does not quite know how to feel about this, maybe it's bad, maybe it's good, but he assumes that this type of behavior should not make his tummy fill with butterflies. It still does.
Renjun lines himself up with your hole, then thrusts forward. He doesn't take his time to prep you like last time, he finds that if you want to act like a bitch, you should be treated like one. He's also very perplexed that he's thinking like this, he never has, but he guesses you bring this side out in him.
You cry out in pure bliss as he stretches your walls that are struggling to take his size, your eyes rolling back at the overwhelming pleasure. Renjun's thrusts are quick and hard, ramming his tip against your spot in a way that makes you see stars and your thighs shiver around his waist.
Your orgasm approaches fast, almost embarrassingly fast considering you made such a fuss earlier, Renjun admits to himself, feeling proud as he pushes you over the edge with ease. The moans tumbling from your lips are nothing short of pornographic, and Renjun does not have it in him to shut you up for the sake of his neighbors.
Instead, he pulls out, then quickly replaces his cock with his fingers, pressing them upwards repeatedly to tickle another quick high out of you. His eyes are on you the entire time while yours are closed, assumingely overwhelmed with how good he's making you feel.
Once you writhe from overstimulation, Renjun removes his fingers as well, licking a fat stripe over your cunt before turning you around and pressing your face into the sheets.
"I'll show you how much of a softie I can be," he grunts before pushing in once again, his hand pressing against the back of your head as he crashes his hips into yours with such force that the bed frame penetrates imprints into his wall. Your moans are muffled, and Renjun decides that he'd much rather have his neighbors hear how good of a fuck he is, so he grabs a fistful of your hair and yanks you up.
"Oh God," you whine, back arching beautifully to take even more of him, and Renjun suppresses a coy grin at the fact that he's able to destroy you that easily.
"Hm? Not so soft now, huh?"
"I'm gonna cum again-" you announce, hands gripping the sheets as you try to ground yourself, to just take and take and take what Renjun gives you, and soon after he can feel you clench around him as another orgasm takes over you, leaving you weak and shaky.
"Too much?"
You shake your head, but Renjun pulls out nevertheless. "Get on your knees, I want you to suck me off."
Never in his life has Renjun seen someone hurry off a bed so eagerly. You open your mouth compliantly, like a well trained slut, and Renjun can simply push his cock between your lips and fuck your mouth. "Tap my leg when I should stop."
You nod quickly, then relax your jaw for him to use you. Renjun loves this sight of you. He remembers what you looked like when you came over, with pretty makeup and perfectly styled hair – and now everything's ruined, your hair messy and tangled, your makeup smudged by a mixture of tears and spit. Renjun loves how hazily your eyelids flutter as you try to look up at him, eyes seemingly focussing and un-focussing, more tears welling up in your eyes before they trickle down your cheeks, spit coating your chin as you gag a little.
Renjun believes he could get used to this.
_____
The sun tickling the tip of his nose is what wakes him up the next morning. With a groan, he tries to adjust his eyes to the bright light shining into his bedroom – the downside of having a bedroom that faces east. Once he realizes where he is, the memories of last night come flying back to him. He has to find his arms to be much emptier than when he went to bed the night before. He sighs, a hand coming up to run over his face. Honestly, he didn't even have to check the rest of his home to know that you snuck out again.
A mug filled with coffee in hand, Renjun lets out a shaky sigh. It stings, he's not going to lie, but maybe you have your reasons, maybe something came up, maybe you need time to think. Or maybe you just hate him and only want to use his desperate state of romanticism and body for your selfish nature.
This assumption is neither proven to be false nor correct when his doorbell rings a couple of months later. In the meantime, Renjun had done nothing but sulk, try to pull himself together, work non-stop to get you out of his mind, realized it's not working and went back to sulking, then the cycle repeated itself. He hadn't even updated his friends about the encounter for a lack of energy, basically. His apartment is a mess, empty to half-empty boxes of takeout littered all over the place, bottles with a last sip left left and right that Renjun trips over every few hours only to curse loudly and do nothing to clean them up afterwards. Basically, he's living like Donghyuck and Jaemin right now.
His feet drag him to the door. "Hello?"
"They're threatening me."
Renjun, without even having heard it twice through the speaker, recognizes your voice immediately. And before he knows it, his finger presses the button that opens the door with a buzzing sound. He curses at himself, panic arising as he listens to your heavy footsteps climbing up the stairs to his apartment. Once you step into sight, Renjun loses his ability to talk. Why do you have to look gorgeous? Why does he want to get on his knees and eat you out immediately? Why is he so weak?
You take fast steps and invite yourself into Renjun's home as he does nothing but take a few careful steps back. You then lock the door as you check the hallway behind the door through the peephole for any potential threats.
"Who?" Renjun finally gets out.
"The app developers," you mumble before retrieving from the door.
"Why?"
"They know I left, now they keep threatening me."
"I doubt that," Renjun frowns.
"Look!" You push your phone into his hands. Renjun curiously scans the last notifications the app sent you.
How did it go? Did you find your soulmate with us? Please rate us in the app store.
Hey! We found your soulmate! Now all you need to do is rate this experience.
Your soulmate is happy to have you. Thank you for working with us, please leave a rating in the app store.
Rate your love experience now!
Renjun snorts.
"What?" You watch him with furrowed brows and crossed arms.
"These are hardly threats."
"They just keep coming, this has to be a threat. Haven't you gotten any?"
"I don't know, I don't have the app anymore," Renjun mumbles.
"Right..." you say, finally taking a first look around the place. "And what happened here?"
"Stop judging me!" Renjun turns his back to you while crossing his arms. Of course he hadn't had the time to deep clean his apartment when he was busy sulking and writhing in self-pity for the past months. And, to be fair, it was all your fault!
"Alright, maybe they're not threats, per-se. They still made me feel bad..."
"Oh?" Renjun turns back around, eyebrows raised. "It has a heart?"
"Ha-ha," you deadpan, but Renjun can't suppress a smile as he makes his way over to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink, and you kicking your shoes off, and then following him on track like a lost puppy.
Renjun opens the fridge and pours himself a glass of the fruity water he's prepared a few hours ago (not because he felt like it, only because he was afraid the remaining fruit his mom brought over because she coincidentally happened to be in town a few days ago would go bad if he didn't use them). He lifts the glass to his lips and takes a refreshing sip.
You watch him set the glass down on the counter. "Aren't you going to ask me if I want something?"
With a hint of playfulness that he does not want to give away under any circumstances, Renjun scoffs, "yeah, as if I'm going to be nice to you after the stunt you pulled. Twice." Renjun holds up two of his fingers to highlight his words.
Your brows furrow as you open your mouth to complain, but you must have realized he's right, so you shut it again, turning into a cute pout instead. "I'm sorry. It's just- it's hard-" You give up and press your lips together tightly. "Can we- start over?"
"Oh? From what point?" Renjun raises his brows, lifting his hand to count with his fingers, "when you abandoned me the first time? When you insulted me? Or when I fucked you so good you couldn't stop drooling on the sheets?" He smiles in victory at your shocked expression. "To which I could also add: the first or the second time." He wiggles two fingers in front of your face with a smug smirk.
"I wish I could say this behavior of yours irritates me to the point where I just want to give up, but you're kind of hot looking all messed up and heart-broken because of me while sporting that victorious grin," you say and step towards him.
"Ah, really?" Renjun's confident shell starts to crumble.
"Why don't we start from the beginning?" You stop right in front of him, and Renjun has to press his ass against the counter to keep that little distance that allows him to breathe. Amused, the corner of your mouth twitches, then you extend your hand as your gaze bores into his.
"Hi, my name is ____ and I would love to suck your cock."
Renjun hates the way his breath hitches as he carefully shakes your hand for a reason he is not aware of. "I-I'm Renjun," he simply says, and the playful smirk on your face widens as you pull your hand out of his to lay atop of the waistband of his sweatpants. Renjun hates it even more that he feels his blood that just milliseconds ago thumbed through his ears now rushing downwards awakening his cock.
"Do you want me to suck you off?" Your voice is bittersweet as you bat your lashes at Renjun who gulps before breathing out a "yeah".
You smile, fingers untying his sweatpants before you push your hand inside to feel him up. "So hard, all for me? What a good boy you are, Renjun."
Renjun bites down on his lip, face contorting in pleasure as he feels you feel him up and down, his hips push forward involuntarily. Why do you have to be like this? Why can't you just be- less enticing, less hot, less able to turn his brain to complete mush every time he sees you? Renjun knows where this is going, you're going to give him the best, most amazing, jaw-dropping, eye-rolling, toe-curling head of his life, and then you're going to walk out that door as if there aren't still drops of Renjun's cum trickling down your esophagus.
Just as your hands leave the inside of his pants to pull them down his legs, Renjun grabs ahold of your wrists. Your eyes widen in surprise.
"No," Renjun catches your gaze that holds a whole lot of insecurities in them, or so he assumes. "I am not letting you touch me until I know you won't leave me again."
The look in your eyes tells him that something about this interaction hit a nerve very deep down, so he tries to lighten the mood with a light joke and a careful smile. "At least take me out on a date before you use me."
Jackpot, he realizes, as you scoff and pull your wrists from his grasp. "Alrighty then, what do you want to eat?"
_____
The wideness of his eyes expands exponentially with every word you tell the guy behind the counter of the nearest Subway who prepares your sandwich. He could mouth along your order because, even up until the sauce, it's identical with his. Hence, all he tells the guy once he's finished is "the same". You seem not to notice – or care – and the quick walk back home is quiet despite the tornados of thoughts winding through Renjun's mind. Is this how the app worked? Match people with similar taste in food? Though he doesn't remember putting his Subway order in when submitting his forms.
Arriving at home, you ask Renjun to put on a show to watch while eating, and when he plays his all time favorite, Modern Family, you announce that that's your favorite as well.
Renjun watches, half in awe and half scared for his life, as you practically inhale the foot-long sandwich in front of his eyes, and he feels his heart thumb just a little faster seeing you all domestic like this; not dolled up, and not with his cum dripping from some part of your body, just you being you. Apparently, he likes you more than he likes to admit, he's afraid.
"I think I'm going to delete that app as well," you announce as you wipe the remaining sauce and crumbs from the corners of your mouth.
"How so?"
"I have you now, don't I?" You shrug, placing your plate on the coffee table in front of the couch. Renjun's heart jumps at your words, then sighs and happily sinks deeper into the comfort of his chest.
"Does that mean- I mean-" But he is shushed by your finger pressing against his lips, that makes his eyes widen.
"Shh, baby boy, don't ruin it." You say, then get up.
"Where are you going?"
"Will you calm down? I just want to pee!" You whine, then march off towards his bathroom, and Renjun wants to punch himself in the face for watching you go with a smitten gaze, but he can't help staring. You're just too gorgeous. He loves the way you're so relaxed and funny, sighing lovingly as he admires your beauty coming back from the restroom to sit down next to him with a thud and a weirded out expression on your face.
"Why are you looking like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like I just took your virginity in a field of dandelions."
"I am not!"
"Whatever. Can we fuck now?"
The little hearts circling around Renjun's heart – metaphorically – shatter. "Are you being serious?"
"I hate to admit this too, but you're pretty good at what you're doing."
"I am more than just a toy for you to use!" Renjun argues, setting his plate down on the coffee table next to yours. Anger is visibly written all over his face, and you seem to finally get the hint that he's serious about this.
"Alright, then. What do you wanna do instead? Cuddle?!" You suggest, and although it does not seem like this is a legitimate offer, Renjun takes it.
"Yeah, for example!"
And that's how your back ends up pressed to his front as you watch TV, not without a last roll of your eyes, of course, and while Renjun affectionately plays with your hair, he has time to relish in the feeling of being loved for the first time since forever, even if he had to threaten you with deprivation of sex. Later, you even fall asleep in his arms, in his bed, and when he wakes up the next morning, you are snoring soundly besides him.
_____
"Do you want to meet my friends?" Renjun asks casually over the steam evaporating from the hot coffee mugs on the breakfast table. You have half a Baozi in your mouth, and Renjun can only guess your next words as they come out.
"What? Why? Are we getting married?" He assumes you say.
"No, I just thought, you know, since things were getting serious-"
"We are?!" You muffle with wide eyes.
Over the past days that you'd spent at Renjun's place without missing a single day (except for the 4 hours when you went to get your stuff... 4 hours that drove Renjun insane with fear that you wouldn't return), Renjun kind of started to wonder what it is that you're doing for a living that you can just disappear like that without anyone wondering where you are, but he noticed that you do not like to talk much about yourself. All he knows that your interests and taste are, quite frankly, scarily similar to his own. He assumes that you are just careful when it comes to opening up to people, so he is more than thrilled when he finds you next to him every single morning and decides that there will be a time and place for you to bond over deep talk.
"Calm down, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that we've been hanging out a lot and I think it would be... fun?" Renjun suggests carefully. A weight lifts off his heart as your wide eyes shrink back to their normal size and you take your time to chew and swallow before your answer.
"Okay." And then you stuff the other half of the steamed bun into your mouth.
"Great! I'll text them!"
"Today?!"
"We really have to stop talking about this while we eat."
"It's okay, do it whenever, honestly." But only muffled sounds and a few crumbs come out.
"What?"
You roll your eyes dramatically, then point yourself.
"You?"
You nod, then point to Renjun. "Me?"
Then you squiggle your pointer and forefinger in a way that resembles a pair of legs – "go?" – you nod, then point downwards – "here?" – you shake your head – "today?" – you nod frantically and press your pointer finger to your thumb – "okay?"
You finally swallow. "Man, I said it's okay if we go today."
"That was absolutely unnecessary. Now go get ready, I'll text them."
_____
"Where is your other half?"
"Probably inside of someone," Donghyuck says about the lack of Jaemin at the table, but his eyes are intensely focused on you. You on the other hand seem to have found great interest in your fingernails and refuse to take your eyes off of them. "Yo, is she shy or something?"
"I'm not," you say, your eyes snapping up to gaze at Donghyuck who looks a little taken aback. You smile sweetly, then reach over the table to shake his hand. "I'm sorry, I was just a little distracted. Hey, I'm the girl that Renjun fucks."
Renjun chokes on his own spit, and Donghyuck snorts loudly. You lean against the backrest of the McDonald's seat and grab Renjun's hand to hold. Renjun, finally recovered from his near-death-experience, can't believe what's happening as his eyes zone in to where your fingers intertwine with his. It even makes him miss that that was a complete lie since the no-sex-until-i-know-you-won't-leave-thing is still on the table.
"So, how is he? In bed, I mean?" Donghyuck folds his hands beneath his chin and leans forward interestedly.
"Oh, he's great, really! He doesn't look like it, but he has a lot of stamina. And, to be fair, he's not the biggest, but it gets the job done nicely, I especially love it when he-"
"Can we not talk about my dick in a McDonald's?! Please?!"
"Oop, looks like we hit a sore spot-" Donghyuck remarks.
"I am not insecure about- you know what? Fuck you. Go get the food, it's ready," Renjun snaps and pushes the receipt with the pick up number on it into Donghyuck's hand who throws you another knowing look before strolling off to get the food.
"I will not apologize for-"
"You're holding my hand," Renjun states.
"What?" Your eyebrows contort in confusion.
"My hand, you're holding it," Renjun says, lifting both of your hands into your line of sight to prove his point.
"Yeah, so?"
"I like that."
A genuine smile spreads over your face and you bite your lip, maybe to suppress it, but Renjun saw it, and look down at your lap. Donghyuck appears again, tray in hand, and Renjun would've missed your quiet whisper of "he likes that" if his entire world wasn't revolving around you right now.
"What are we talking about?" Donghyuck grins as he slides back onto his seat, immediately pulling a fry out of the box and dunking it in his milkshake. Renjun, still in awe that you're holding his hand, immediately notices how your face contorts in disgust.
"Why the fuck are you doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Dipping your fry."
Renjun watches with heart-shaped eyes how Donghyuck's mouth opens and closes for a lack of a proper response, because – shit – that is exactly what he's been thinking for the past five years.
"Because I like it?"
"Alright," you shrug, then attend to your cheeseburger. Renjun mirrors your action, lifting the top half of the bun to peel the single slice of pickle off the surface before sticking the burger back together, not noticing how you do the exact same thing until Donghyuck points it out.
"So? That's what it's like when you found a match. Another great advantage is having only one partner whom you engage in sexual activities with. Ah, by the way, how is your itchy sack?"
"Good one, babe," you compliment as Donghyuck's face falls onto his BigMac, and Renjun could not feel any better at that exact moment.
"Sorry I'm late!" The voice of no other than Na Jaemin appears behind Renjun only to reveal said man seconds later as he flops down next to Donghyuck, forcing him to squeeze further against the wall. Donghyuck complains, but no one pays him any mind.
A heavy grin adorns Jaemin's face, an expression Renjun's grown to know like the back of his own hand over the past years. Jaemin's post orgasm glow is so bright and blinding that Renjun's sure he must have just gotten a blowjob in the McDonald's bathroom. His tongue slurps parts of his McFlurry off his spoon. Renjun watches as Jaemin's gaze runs over to you, and as if someone's flipped a switch inside him, Jaemin's smile drops. If the sudden silence wasn't so ear numbing, one would've heard it smash to the ground and shatter into pieces. Even Donghyuck has stopped munching on his food to scan the situation, the end of a fry sticking out from between his lips.
Renjun's heart stops, then starts thumping up his throat as he slowly turns his head towards you, and this exact process repeats itself as he sees how pale you've gotten. Your eyes are trained on Jaemin, and Renjun can see you gulp once before you suddenly get up, the legs of the chair disgustingly scratching over the floor, and leave the fast food restaurant with hurried steps.
Despite desperately wanting to know what the fuck just happened, Renjun hastily gets up to run after you, calling out your name, once, twice, but when he reaches the doors, panting breath creating soft clouds in the cool air, you're out of sight.
_____
Ah, what a great morning. That is what Renjun would have thought if it was opposite day. He is devastated. You are nowhere to be found, the apartment empty since he returned and he still regrets not asking for your number sometime during the past days, though there was no need since you'd spend all your time at his place anyway. But now you're not. You're gone, and Jaemin refuses to let him in on what exactly happened between the two of you that made you leave the place in a hurry, only for Renjun to find Jaemin gone as well as soon as he returned. He only found Donghyuck sitting at the table, dragging his last fry through the milkshake. They finished their meal in silence.
As the doorbell rings, Renjun falls off the couch, scrambles up and runs to answer the door. It's not you, though, it's Donghyuck, who for once decided to be a good friend and check in on Renjun, even though the latter would rather just lie down in a puddle of his own tears, and sob.
"I'm sorry, man," Donghyuck says, dragging Renjun into his arms for comfort. Renjun simply sighs. The warmth of Donghyuck's hug does actually help ease some of the tension in his heart, and when they part, Renjun invites Donghyuck in for some tea.
"Do you know what happened?" Renjun asks as he hands Donghyuck his mug.
"Not a clue. Jaemin hasn't even been home. I have some theories, though." Donghyuck takes a sip and curses after burning his tongue.
"That are?" Renjun is actually relieved to have someone else break their brain over this situation that is not him.
"Number one: Jaemin is her lost brother."
Renjun blinks.
"Number two: Jaemin fucked her mother and destroyed her parent's marriage."
Renjun raises an eyebrow.
"Okay, number three: Jaemin fucked her mother and is her father."
Renjun raises a hand to slap him.
"Okay, okay! Sorry. Number four, and this actually goes two ways. Four point one: They fucked and she is the one girl that broke Jaemin's heart and made him this way."
Renjun does not like the sound of that at all.
"Four point two: They fucked and Jaemin broke her heart and that's why she can't commit."
"I hate all of your theories with my entire being," Renjun admits, "Do you have one that does not mean something bad?"
"Um..." Donghyuck thinks for a while that, admittedly, lasts too long for Renjun to relax, "Jaemin once saved her cat and she never got the chance to thank him because- he fucked her mom- I'M SORRY that's all I can think of."
Renjun sighs. "I don't know. I just wish she would care about me enough to just talk to me, you know?"
"I don't think that's the problem," Donghyuck suggests and Renjun looks away from his steaming mug and at Donghyuck instead. "I think she cares about you a lot, but there seems to be some sort of past trauma that makes it hard for her. I mean, I'm not a specialist since you" – a glaring Donghyuck points an accusing finger at Renjun – "refuse to update me about every little thing like I asked you to, but I don't think this has as much to do with you as you think."
"I've never thought about it that way," Renjun admits, and a little weight drops off his heart at the fact that he is possibly not at fault, and neither are you. "Thank you, Hyuck, honestly."
"No biggie." Donghyuck shrugs with a smug smirk. "You can pay me back in kind."
"What do you mean?"
"A smooch." Donghyuck puckers his lips, but at the same time, the doorbell rings a second time that day, causing Renjun to jump and run towards the obnoxious sound. This time, it really is you.
"Can we talk?" You ask as you stand in his doorway, and Renjun can't do anything but blink in awe because, honestly? He thought he'd never see you again.
"Um, not to be rude, but we're kind of in the middle of something here," Donghyuck says with his lips still puckered for Renjun to kiss. Renjun, without taking his eyes off of you in case you'd vaporize once he looked away for even a split second, ushers Donghyuck to leave since, "he was on his way out, actually."
Not without throwing a little tantrum, Donghyuck lets himself get pushed out of Renjun's apartment. Renjun whispers another 'thank you' and blows him a kiss before closing the door in Donghyuck's face.
_____
"I didn't know you started smoking again," Renjun comments as you sit on his sad excuse of a balcony.
"This is for the vibe," you say, and blow the smoke into the air. "And maybe I had a drink."
"Okay."
Silence.
"This is really scary for me," you admit, and Renjun assumes that you're talking about opening up.
"You can trust me, I'm not going anywhere," Renjun assures, placing a careful arm around your waist and a kiss to your temple.
"Jaemin was my first love."
Renjun gulps. He feels a little part of his heart break off and shatter against his ribcage, leaving a stinging pain behind. Great, so you know Jaemin, and not only that, he happened to be the first one you've ever let into your heart. Renjun assumes that it's been a couple of years since then, but knowing Jaemin, he couldn't possibly be the best first love, or a good one even. Don't get him wrong, he dearly loves Jaemin – in a platonic way – but the way he treats girls is not something he should be as proud of as he is. But maybe he hasn't always been like this. Maybe you were the one to make him like this.
"Go on," Renjun finally coughs out. His hands feel a little shaky, maybe even a little sweaty, and he feels the need to wrap them around the metal railing separating him from free falling to his death.
"It was back in school. I fell for him immediately. He made me feel like the only girl in the world."
Renjun dares to look over at you to watch you sigh, dragging on your cigarette once again. You look incredibly pained, and as much as he wants you to shut up because it seems to be hurting not only him, but you as well, he needs to know.
"Well, that was until he took my virginity. Never saw him again after that until," you pause, clear your throat and take a deep breath and continue pressed with your eyes closed, "until today."
Renjun takes a minute to calm down his mind from running thoughts on overspeed. "I'm- so sorry that happened to you. I wish I could say he's not like that anymore, but... well, his moral compass enhanced a little... um..." Renjun removes his hands from the railing, wiping them on his jeans, then turns to you. "Look, I can see why you wouldn't want to hang out w-"
"No," you interrupt him, dragging on your cigarette once more before carelessly flicking the bud onto the streets below, then you turn to him, take a careful step forward and take his hands into yours. "I trust you. I want you to be the right one. I want you to break this pattern, I want you to change my future."
Renjun does not know how to respond. There's a part of him that wants to pay Jaemin a visit and punch him, but he knows better than to start a physical fight with Na Jaemin, the local gym's best customer. And besides, what would it matter? It's not like violence would change anything. "May I hug you?"
You nod, and Renjun wraps his arms around you to pull you into his chest. His chin rests in the crook of your neck, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo, and he is not sure whether it's a good thing that he falls for you more and more every second he spends with you.
_____
Renjun decided that it would be best not to see Jaemin for some time, mostly in favor of his own well being considering that Jaemin would dominate him if it ever came to a physical confrontation. Instead, he focuses his energy on making you feel loved and protected, and makes sure he never gives you the impression of leaving you. He mostly enjoys the quiet nights with you, creating as much physical contact as possible without being uncomfortable, and freely talking into the rise of the sun.
Renjun learned that it's only been you and your mom, most of the time, since your dad cheated on her when you were still a child. Then, as soon as you turned eighteen and got your first real job, your mother left the country. Not without saying goodbye, but apparently, she made it clear that she didn't want to stay in contact. Ever since, it's only been you. You'd always been by yourself, having to care for yourself, working hard to make enough money to be able to afford rent and food. In a way, you had raised yourself to be independent, and your past encounter with Jaemin must have just intensified your bias not to trust men after what your father did to your mother.
Still, that's all Renjun knows about you. And after 3 months of living together, he kind of wishes to know where you live – well, when you're not living with him – what you do for a job, if you have any friends for him to meet, but all he knows is your zodiac sign. Although, he calms himself down by telling himself that you need time to build up trust. After everything that's happened to you, Renjun is the last person wanting to pressure you.
It's only that one particular conversation with his friend Donghyuck he doesn't seem to be able to let go.
"How long have you been living together?" Donghyuck asked as he ripped a small piece off of the bread in his hand to throw it into the pile of ducks gathered in front of them at the pond at the local park. Donghyuck loves to go there to feed the ducks, and Renjun almost found it cute until Donghyuck told him the real reason behind his regular visits to feed the ducks at the pond: picking up girls.
Donghyuck swears that this is the perfect way to get a "chick" (his words, not Renjun's) to fall for you. Either they love this sweet, domestic side of a man who is soft enough to go feed ducks in his spare time which inevitably makes him boyfriend material, or they're there with their kids and- Renjun can't recall how this was different from the first thing. He only remembers thinking that Donghyuck has a weird obsession with older women, and the freudian curiosity in Renjun kind of pushes him to find out more about what that's about. Maybe another time.
"Almost three months," Renjun smiled widely, ready to spill information about all the great memories he had made with you over the past 11 weeks, like when he accidentally sent the pizza delivery guy to the wrong address or when the both of you giggled too loudly at a YouTube video until his downstairs neighbor knocked at his door and begged for you to shut up (admittedly, there's not much going on), but Donghyuck interrupted him with his hand hitting Renjun square in his solar plexus.
"Three months?! Woah, get it champ! How often do you do it?" Donghyuck asked, completely ignoring the way Renjun had to fight not to double over and slide face forward into the pond.
"We-" Renjun coughed and was finally able to stand up straight again. "We actually don't have sex at all."
In hindsight, Renjun's knowledge of physics and anatomy make him doubt the reaction he remembers, but he vividly recalls Donghyuck's eyes to drive out of his skull as he jumped about 3 meters into the air. Summarized: Donghyuck was a little surprised!
"Um, well, I didn't think it would hit you this early, but there are ways, man." Donghyuck patted Renjun's shoulder brotherly. "I still have a few pills at home if you want to try them. I get them from this one guy, and they're worth every penny, let me tell you-"
"I do not suffer from erectile disfunction," Renjun clarified and Donghyuck quickly shut his mouth, blinked a few times, then began to defend himself about how he doesn't need them to get hard, just to stay hard longer or whatever.
"Anyway," Renjun side-eyed Donghyuck as he finally stopped talking, "I just... don't want her to leave me again."
"Ah, that's how the land lies," Donghyuck grinned, "but buddy, it's been months, don't you miss it?"
"Not really," Renjun lied without cause.
"Don't you miss the way it feels?" Donghyuck leaned closer, warm breath tickling Renjun's ear and neck, his voice getting whiney and full of lust as he explained the warm, wet feeling of a-
"Okay, maybe I do!" Renjun said in defeat, holding onto Donghyuck's hands to stop them for making lewd gestures.
"Then there's nothing stopping you. Well, except for the fact that it's very weird how she just lives with you. Doesn't she have a job? Does she pay rent?" Donghyuck frowned at Renjun with raised eyebrows.
Renjun squinted his eyes at him, frowning as well. "Where is this coming from?!"
"I'm just saying, you should ask her about that." Donghyuck shrugged and poured the remaining bread crumbs from his paper bag onto the ground, causing ducks to zoom out of the water and gather around their feet.
"I don't want to pressure her. You know how hard it is for her to open up," Renjun reasoned, but Donghyuck seemed to be having ulterior motives, throwing a wink into the direction of a middle aged woman with a stroller. Renjun watched for a few moments as Donghyuck pressed his tongue into his cheek smugly, then shouted "just gave him some relationship advice while feeding the ducks", and how the woman chuckled and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then decided he's seen enough.
Sadly, turning off one's ears had not been invented yet, Renjun thought as he stepped away after patting disinterested Donghyuck's shoulder as goodbye, still hearing Donghyuck ask her about the child's father, how come such a beautiful woman doesn't have a strong man at her side, and what she's going to be doing tonight.
_____
"Baby?" Renjun enters the living room to find you sitting in front of the couch on the carpet, carelessly browsing through a magazine with your playlist randomly playing tunes in the background.
"Hey!" Your eyes light up as you see him. Renjun sits down beside you, a slight smile on his face as he takes in how beautiful you look tonight, just like all nights.
"What are you up to?" He asks, curiously leaning forward to be able to look at the magazine as well.
"It's just a women's magazine, it's like fashion and make-up trends an stuff," you explain briefly still scanning through the pages before your eyes light up once again as you turn to look at Renjun.
"What?" Renjun chuckles nervously, but simultaneously loving the look on your face.
"Could I.. do your make-up?" You ask straightforwardly. Renjun's eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, mouth shaping an 'o' as he looks up thinking about it briefly. He's never gotten his make-up done before, and although the thought had never occurred to him before, it does sound like a fun couple's activity to do together that could lead to excellent bonding time. Therefore, he smiles and nods at your request.
Renjun coos at how you get up to grab your make-up bag with a slight excited jump in your walk, then watches how you lean down to fish it out of your bag, gulping hard and averting his gaze as you so carelessly present your ass to him. The conversation with Donghyuck still playing in his mind, he realizes that, apart from wanting to know more about you, he really does miss being inside of you physically.
Before he knows it, you're back on the carpet next to him, opening your bag to reveal the endless depths of its contents, various pencils and brushes, tubes and bottles that Renjun knows close to nothing about.
"What do you want me to do?" You ask, and Renjun smiles contently.
"Whatever you want, I'm yours to play with," he confirms before realizing the ambiguous meaning of his words. He still means them, in both ways.
Although, you do not seem to be catching on, shuffling to sit in front of Renjun instead to have a better look at his handsome face. "Your skin is pretty, so let's skip foundation," you decide and Renjun's smile grows at the implied compliment. Instead, you brush his messy bangs out of his face to be able to get a better look at his eyes.
"Can I do your eyeliner?" You ask, gazing deeply into his eyes, and honestly, you could've asked him to jump out of the window and he'd respond with the same breathy 'yes' he did just now. Especially now after you've climbed into his lap for better access.
"Okay," you giggle, now a black pencil in your hand, "look up!"
Renjun does his best to follow your orders, but the eyeliner feels very foreign on his eyes, and as you ask him to look down next, he is met with your cleavage greeting him, and he has to concentrate on not popping a boner instead.
After a while, you lean back, admiring your work as Renjun blinks a few tears away.
"You look pretty," you admit, handing Renjun a little mirror to see for himself. And as he catches his own reflection, he must admit that you're right. He does look pretty, but honestly, he could've looked like trash right now and he'd still do this over and over again just to be close to you.
"Thank you, I agree!" He smiles, handing you the mirror back.
"How about lipstick next?" You suggest and Renjun's eyes immediately dart down to your lips, remembering the last time his own lips touched them for longer than a quick peck, and longing for that feeling. So instead of answering, he nods, trying his best to conceal his nervousness.
A lipstick in hand, you get comfortable on his lap again, seemingly either ignoring or not caring what your shuffling does to him, then attend to his lips. Renjun's now able to watch your face closely as you apply the tinted product onto his lips, falling in love with the way you look when you concentrate on something.
Your gentle fingers tap the lipstick onto his lips, spreading the color gently to create a faded look, but Renjun doesn't really care anymore. His eyes keep focussing on your lips, yearning to taste them again, and he feels like it's showing with the way he keeps leaning in closer.
His heart skips a beat as he looks up into your eyes again to see them already looking into his, and he doesn't even have to say anything before you close the gap in between your mouths and begin kissing him gently, leaving one, two, three kisses on his lips before drawing back to look into his eyes again.
No words are exchanged, it's just him who leans in this time, breathing in deeply through his nose as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. He completely loses himself in you and the slow song playing in the background. Your lips feel heavenly, and Renjun admits that it's really been too long since the last time he got to taste them.
Your hands stroke over his body just as his do to yours, gentle moans fall from both of your lips as you carefully grind down against Renjun's prominent bulge. It doesn't take long for him to turn you around, gently laying you on your back to the soft carpet, caging you in with his arms and deeply gazing into your eyes. You strip each other of every piece of clothing, taking your sweet time to show the other how you feel, and as Renjun finally enters you, he feels like this is where he belongs.
_____
"Hyuck, I'm telling you, it was absolutely fantastic," Renjun beams, hands in the air metaphorically mimicking a large object to visualize how much fun he's had with you the night prior.
"I'm guessing the rule of premarital abstinence is off the table?" Donghyuck teases, face mockingly serious, though a brow sneaks its way upwards to hint at his playfulness. Renjun presses his lips together, hands sinking to the table.
"You are just jealous that woman in the park only wanted you to be her new babysitter," Renjun shoots back.
"That's what her mouth said, but do you know what her body said to me about thirty minutes later as I rammed my dick in her?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, pressing his tongue into his cheek smugly, and Renjun just stares blankly ahead, right through Donghyuck's insufferable ego as if it was see-through and not as solid as concrete. Donghyuck leans forwards, forearms holding his weight hovering over the tabletop.
"Ah, fuck, you're so big, Donghyuck. Please, d-don't tell my husband. H-he really can't find out that you're making m-me feel so much better than him, ugh, God, I wish you were the father of my children," Donghyuck moans, high pitched and fake like a porn star, and Renjun snorts, laughter that threatened to come out winning the battle against his muscles, and he's sure he spit on Donghyuck in the process. Payback.
"Sorry," Renjun says and doesn't mean it, "have you talked to your therapist about this 'Mommy'-thing?" Donghyuck sighs and rolls his eyes.
"It's not a 'Mommy'-thing. I don't want them to be my mom, I don't want them to pack me a lunch box and sing me a lullaby," Donghyuck explains.
"Then, what?" The corners of Renjun's mouth twitching downwards, threatening another wave of laughter to burst out with vigor.
"Older ladies know what they want in life. They went through labor and stuff and mostly already found a man, so when they want me, I feel good. Also, they know how to please a guy, you know?" Donghyuck says, and Renjun's eyes are about to pop out from the sole pressure of trying to keep his amusement from spitting Donghyuck in the face again.
"Alright, then, if my love life is so laughable, why don't you give me some insight on how great your girlfriend's cunt squeezes around your dick?" Donghyuck crosses his arms, meaning to sound petty and passive-aggressive, even though Renjun knows that he is eager to hear every little detail.
"Does everything have to be this graphic with you?" Renjun contorts his face in faux disgust, but huffs out a chuckle, not ready to admit that, in all honesty, Donghyuck's words sent him right back to last night when you came around him, milking him for all he's worth.
"It does. Whether you like it or not, this is what you signed up for when you started calling me your friend. Now spill," Donghyuck raises a threatening finger.
"I don't know if I'm comfortable giving out information to fuel your next wanking session with my girlfriend," Renjun notes, but continues to spill the details nonetheless. "So, all in all, very romantic until I was like 5 seconds pre-orgasm and 'Jopping' started playing."
"Did you-"
"I did nut to 'Jopping'."
"I guess you were really jumping and popping," Donghyuck examines, then thinks a little longer, "I guess you were a big boy throwing three stacks."
Renjun looks at him, lips turning into a thin line before he slaps his thighs and gets up. "I think I should go?"
"I guess you really made it bang," Donghyuck says and gets up as well, following Renjun into the hallway with quick footsteps. "I guess you really made the crowd go wild in a small room."
"Stop!" Renjun begs, giggling nevertheless as he slips his jacket on.
"I guess you really got that glow."
"Donghyuck!!" Renjun shrieks, not even fully slipping into his shoes before he grabs his bag and opens the door, Donghyuck behind him clutching his stomach laughing. Though, Renjun gets surprised by someone already standing outside the door, the grin immediately falling off his face as he sees who it is.
"I guess it's in your- " Donghyuck starts, but the second he sees the person in front of the door, his laughter dies down, "... nature."
"Hello, stranger," Renjun says sarcastically, squinting his eyes at Jaemin who simply gulps. It's not like Jaemin to not say anything, or to not smile. Renjun immediately feels a little sorry, but at the same time, he doesn't.
Jaemin simply nods before squeezing in between Renjun and the wooden door frame, kicking his shoes off hastily and hurrying past a flabbergasted Donghyuck towards his room. Renjun's eyes follow him disappear, and when he hears the door to Jaemin's room close shut, he feels reminded of how things really started going downwards as soon as you crossed paths with Jaemin again. Of course it bothers him knowing one of his best bros 1) had his dick in Renjun's girlfriend and 2) broke her heart and scarred her for life. What bothers him almost more is how things went well, they were okay, but now Jaemin needed to show up again and make Renjun question everything he's built with you.
What if Donghyuck is right? What if it really is weird that you keep staying at his place? Why is there never a place you have to be? Admittedly, Renjun had pushed this uncomfortable feeling of something being off with your stay to the very back of his brain, not wanting to destroy what you have, not wanting to waste his last chance for love because of something as insignificant as 'oh no, my girlfriend won't leave and I also don't want her to', but suppressing worries is never the answer. No matter how far you push them away, they always resurface to bite you in the butt. And sometimes they bite you in the butt in human form with a perfect, pearly-white set of teeth and eyes that seem alarmingly less sparkly than usual.
Renjun decides that he has to get a grip. He's been so blinded by love, or whatever it is right now that's surely developing into love, that he just let you step into his life, ruin one of his dearest friendships and keep eating the contents of his fridge when he's not home. All this, he tells himself on the way home, passing by a group of guys hanging out in the park together drinking. He sighs. Wasn't it always bros before hoes? Pals before gals? Homies before blow-me's? Does that still apply when the homie is in the wrong?
_____
"Darling?" Renjun whispers as he enters your (at this point) shared home. The lights are turned off, your figure nowhere to be found. Renjun sighs, slowly unties his shoe laces, takes his sneakers off and places them by the door carefully. He realizes most of his shoes are carelessly thrown all over the place, and so are yours. After the sixth pair he's carefully put into storage, he realizes what he's doing.
"You stupid gremlin, just ask her. Stop wasting time," Renjun tells himself, finally taking off his jacket and hanging it up.
"Ask me what?"
Renjun swears his soul leaves his body for a good 10 seconds before he can breathe again. Your silhouette stands in the doorway to his bedroom, the light of the lampposts outside shining on your backside, hugging your curves and making you look like an angel. Renjun curses his artistic eye in moments like these.
"You scared the crap out of me," he giggles, a little intimidated and, truthfully, freaked out at the way you just stand there, seemingly faceless because of the darkness.
"Aww, I'm sorry," you say, and approach him, hugging his cool figure into your arms. Hesitantly, Renjun hugs you back. Something inside him tells him that you're hiding something. "Where were you so long?"
Renjun breathes in slowly, then out through his nose. "Just walking around, needed to think." He's telling the truth.
"Are you okay?" You pull back, looking at his face gently illuminated by the moon. Very lightly, Renjun can make out the lines of worry on your face. He lets out a shaky breath.
"We need to talk."
Another layer of clothing lighter, Renjun sits down on the bed next to you, sweatpants and a white shirt replacing his earlier clothes that kept him from freezing in the cool weather of an early October. The expression on your face is unreadable, though you look not happy, but rather full of worry, sadness and a pinch of anger.
"Okay, this... this is not an easy thing to ask," Renjun finally starts, hating the tension that's so thick one could cut it with a knife.
"Please, um-" you stop him before anymore words can leave his mouth, glossed over eyes finding his gaze and the sight makes Renjun's heart ache. Never have you looked so raw, so fragile, so... broken? "Let me say something first, okay?"
Renjun nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth to chew on it. His heart beats fast, the sight of you in front of him almost making him forget why he marched through the streets of this town for hours with no physical goal, but only to make sense of the mess clouding his brain.
"I don't know... what exactly you're going to ask me, but-" you halt and stare downwards into your lap where your shaky hands are nervously fumbling with each other. "Whatever it is, whether you want to break up with me, I just want you to know that-" you gulp, voice shaky, "that I've never felt loved in my life except for when I was with you. You really showed me what love is, Jun. You made me love you. So, um..." you breathe out shakily, two tears rolling down and falling towards your hands as they reach the apples of your cheeks. "Thank you for your time and efforts. You really are the best person I've ever met."
_____
"You are fucking weak!" Donghyuck scolds, a little less playfully than usual.
"You don't get it, Hyuck. You weren't there. The sight would even have broken your sad excuse of a heart," Renjun defends himself.
"Excuse me? Just because my heart has Milf-shaped holes in it doesn't mean I don't feel empathy!" Donghyuck throws in, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Renjun feels a little less confident in his decision of letting you be than a few minutes ago. "What did you ask instead?"
Renjun bites his tongue. Admittedly, a day later, the decision doesn't seem as logical as it did hidden under the secure blankets of a dark night. "I asked if she wanted to meet my parents?"
Donghyuck laughs out, once, and very loud, then turns his body to Renjun and places his hands on the older's thighs. "And let me guess." He raises his eyebrows in amusement. Renjun is not amused. "She was like: 'oh my God, Junnie! Why didn't you just say that?' And playfully slapped your arm, and you somehow ended up with your dick so deep in her you could feel hear stomach acid."
"Ew, what the fuck?" Renjun's eyes widen, eyebrows furrowing, his mouth agape in horror. "Y-you know that's not how the female body works, right?"
"How would I know?" Donghyuck retorts, shrugging.
Renjun groans in frustration, hiding his face in his hands. Donghyuck is right. He shouldn't have let you off the hook so easily. He has the right to know! He deserves to have all the answers to his questions. He is honestly one incident away from making an AITA post on Reddit.
"Hey, hey," Donghyuck gently removes Renjun's hands from his face, letting his hands linger on the older's wrists, "don't beat yourself up, Jun. It's not your fault. If the pussy is tight, the pussy is tight, and there is nothing we can do about it. She's in your head, while you should be in her head – literally."
Renjun rolls his eyes.
"No, for real, though." Donghyuck softly slaps the back of Renjun's birthmarked hand. "Women have a different kind of power over us mortals." He looks deeply into Renjun's eyes. "You really like her, don't you?"
Renjun nods. "I might even use the other L-word."
"Okay, here's the thing," Donghyuck announces, now taking both of Renjun's hands in his, cheesily interlocking their fingers which Renjun chooses to ignore, "meeting your parents is great. I mean, inevitably, they're gonna ask her about her job, won't they?"
A spark of hopeful light appears in Renjun's eyes. "You're right. Thank you, Hyuck."
"Kiss me, then," Donghyuck says and winks. Renjun forcefully pulls his hands from Donghyuck's grip. "In your dreams."
"You don't wanna know what happens in my dreams, my dear Renjun," Donghyuck smirks and Renjun decides that this conversation has to end here.
"How are things with Jaemin?" He therefore asks, leaning back in his chair to create a bigger distance between him and the lecher.
"He's in and out, mostly when he knows I'm not around. I think I'm going to trap him later today when he comes home, and make him tell me what the fuck his problem is," Donghyuck explains matter-of-factly. Renjun admires Donghyuck for his confrontation abilities. Of course, Donghyuck is not as in the middle of all this as Renjun, but he himself would've dreaded running into Jaemin randomly in the hallway, would probably put a tracking device on Jaemin so he can properly avoid him, and – Heaven forbid – would not try to corner him and make him spill. Renjun really hates confrontation, he always has when it comes to people he's close with, that he likes, or rather: that he's afraid of losing, and this is probably one of the reasons why he finds it abnormally hard to tickle the kind of information out of you that he needs to sleep peacefully at night.
Either way, Donghyuck will get Jaemin, and his parents will get you, and Renjun gets all the information he needs without having to put in even an ounce of effort. Slowly, Renjun realizes that this is not that great of a foundation for a good relationship, platonically or romantically. Yeah, admittedly, he feels a bit like a wimp.
_____
Renjun's heart beats up his throat for no apparent reason, except for the fact that he's currently standing in front of his parents' house, having just pressed his finger into the button for the doorbell seconds prior. On his other hand: you, dressed up nicely as if you're trying to impress his parents, inevitably leading to a new hatch of butterflies dancing around in Renjun's stomach. He also quite enjoys the way your palm is a bit sweaty as you cling to his hand, proving that you're nervous, which means that you care. Renjun really likes imagining that you care.
"Son!" Renjun's father opens the door and pulls him into a strong, manly hug, his dad's large palm coming down on his back to knock the air out of him. Seconds later, the hug is over, and Renjun's father examines you.
You smile sweetly, holding his hand out for him to shake. Renjun's dad raises his eyebrows, grins, then shakes your hand aggressively. "Son, I gotta say-"
"Please refrain," Renjun pleads, and pulls you into the house. You both take your shoes off and enter the living room containing Renjun's mom who quickly fluffs out the pillows, then turns to you.
"It's great to meet you," she says, shakes your hand and throws Renjun a wink. Renjun cringes. He really loves his parents – well, his mom first and foremost, but yeah – but they have a disgruntling tendency to embarrass him. His mother, the social butterfly she is, immediately picks up a conversation with you and, to Renjun's upmost joy, you seem thrilled about it, your eyes sparkling as you talk to his mother. It's good, don't get him wrong, but beyond the surface, it's bad. There is a reason Renjun brought you here, well, not that it's the sole reason, but Renjun still needs to find out what it is that you do for a living, and when he gets blinded by this mind-numbing feeling of being absolutely in love with the way you get along with his mother, the dearest woman in his life, he will forget about it.
Hence, he excuses himself to see his father in the kitchen, preparing the food. Not that any of you or his mother would even notice his absence as Renjun's mom is already on her way to the shelf in the corner to pull out photo albums containing Renjun's best and worst memories growing up. But even as he stands in the kitchen, his gaze darts over through the open door to investigate your figure hunched over the printed stages of Renjun's puberty, giggling wholeheartedly over his mother's remarks about all of his friends in the past. His mother has always been good with names and faces.
Even later at the dinner table, Renjun is not able to concentrate one his father's cooking, or the light conversation taking place over the amount of food on the table that could feed an entire baseball team for three weeks. There is only one single thing on Renjun's mind: what is it that you are hiding?
Thankfully – might it be the telekinetic bond he has with his mother or just simple human interest – Renjun's mom, after a minute of silent munching, pipes up and throws the question into the room.
"Our Renjun worked hard to be a freelancer," she chuckles and briefly touches Renjun's forearm resting beside his plate, causing Renjun's ears to pipe up and his eyes to widen. "What is it that you do for a living?"
Renjun feels as if time stops, presumably because it does take you a little while to answer. You visibly gulp at the question, eyes avoiding every person at the table. "Well," you begin, then look up at everyone. You blink a few times and wet your lips before continuing. "I recently lost my job and am looking for something else at the moment." Your gaze catches Renjun's who can't hide his surprise. "Which is why I am extremely grateful for Renjun being there for me right now."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Renjun's mom comforts, a sad look on her face.
"It's okay. I mean- the firm had to ax jobs because of insolvency, so there wasn't really anything I could do about it." You nod to yourself. The following awkwardness lies heavily in the air, and before Renjun's father can even think about bringing alcohol to the table, his mother pipes up once again.
"Don't worry about it, dear. You are still young, there will be lots of job opportunities in the future, I'm sure of it," she smiles encouragingly and you manage to send a slight smile back. "Which reminds me!"
This time, Renjun's mom playfully pinches her husband's shoulder who dramatically mewls at the action. "We were just your age when we met!"
"Oh, really?" You smile widely, interested in the story Renjun's mom tells next, going into almost every detail regarding their first encounter. Renjun, having listened to this exact story countless times, relaxes in his seat. He feels a bit bad that he basically forced you to reveal this probably embarrassing detail about yourself in front of his parents the first time you meet them, but a much bigger part of him is just relieved since, basically, this explains it all. Maybe he should feel a bit used, a bit hurt that you didn't trust him enough to share this detail of your life with him, but on the other hand: he is just glad you're not secretly a serial killer or do porn. Not that there's anything wrong with that, he'd just like to know.
In the midst of his mom's speech, he catches your eyes and sends you a gentle smile which you reciprocate. His hand gently squeezes your thigh under the table, and he is pleasantly surprised as your hand finds his, casually interlocking your fingers with his and putting them on display on the table top.
"Well, good thing you met him before the year ended," Renjun's mother finishes. Renjun's eyes almost pop out of their sockets. Why would she bring that up?
"Why? What's happening at the end of the year?" You ask curiously.
"Christmas!" Renjun says, a bit too loud maybe, since all eyes are on him all of a sudden. "You know, cuffin' season. Heh..."
The day ends pleasantly. Renjun has to fight both of his parents off as they try to make you stay over night or "at least for another shot". Oh no, he has to get you home and, to be completely honest, right into his bed, or preferably the closest surface to the front door that you're willing to take him on. Not even the little remark his mother had whispered to him as he was waiting by the door for you to finish up in the bathroom can make him want you any less right now: "I'm so sure I know her from somewhere."
_____
Days pass and Renjun is on cloud nine. Things are going absolutely great with you, you do fun stuff together, and Renjun can have his little daddy moments every once in a while when you ask him to help you with your job search. He feels giddy all over when he goes to bed, and possibly even giddier when he wakes up to you soundly snoring in his arms. Life is perfect.
But Renjun wouldn't be Renjun if he didn't worry about something, and this time it is the last obstacle to overcome for this to be the absolute perfect relationship: you have to vibe with his friends. Well, first of all, he himself has to start vibing with all of his friends again. He has not seen or heard of Jaemin since he met him that day, and Donghyuck had either forgotten to corner the younger male, or forgotten to tell Renjun about it (classic Donghyuck).
Hence, Renjun calls Donghyuck (so he can't forget to respond to his messages) and makes a plan to meet. Said meeting actually occurs on the same day since Donghyuck feared Jaemin would flee the country if they didn't hurry.
About an hour later – and don't ask him how he convinced you to do this (he might have been using the short post-orgasm timeframe to suggest it when your mind was still cloudy and you were grinning like you were out of your mind) – you appear in front of Donghyuck and Jaemin's apartment.
Before Renjun can even reach out to ring the doorbell, Donghyuck rips open the door, shushes the both of you and hurries you inside. Shoes off, you all meet at the stinky kitchen table and Renjun is reminded of his first encounter with you that he had spilled about at this very table. He finds it a funny little memory.
"Jaemin is in his room," Donghyuck whispers and Renjun can smell the garlic fried chicken he must have had earlier in his breath.
"You didn't tell him we were coming?" Renjun whisper-shouts back and purposely avoids looking at you because he already knows of the disapproving stare the back of his head is receiving right now.
"One: he just had a girl over, and even though I seem like the type to barge into a room that reeks of sex to witness Jaemin balls deep in a chick, I've seen enough of that. Two: if I had told him, he would've possibly taken off no questions asked," Donghyuck reasons and Renjun has to, once again, question why Donghyuck always has to verbally visualize all the tmi details of his speech. Renjun turns to look at you, and you look unsure. Although you had voiced your concerns on the way here, and Renjun had to make you promise not to bail on him, he gets where you're coming from.
Taking you aside (turning around since Donghyuck is openly swiping on his tinder right now that Renjun knows he hasn't set an age limit to) he asks, "Are you okay with this?"
You take a deep breath before nodding. "I want to do this for you, Jun."
Renjun has to ask himself when he started to connect the feeling of love with the desire for sex because why is the first though that comes to mind to bend you over the sticky counter and have his balls slap against your thighs? On that note, he also should stop hanging out with Donghyuck so much if this is how his mind describes sex...
Instead, he presses a kiss to your lips, and apparently Donghyuck's forgotten about his rule of being quiet because he 'ooohh's and laughs dirtily. Renjun simply pays him no mind, unlike you who raises a questioning eyebrow.
"I say I go in first, prepare him for what's to come, and then get him out here so we can all talk," Renjun suggests and everyone nods in agreement. "And Donghyuck-"
"Hm?"
"Leave my girlfriend alone while I'm gone." Renjun squints at Donghyuck.
"I'll try my best." Donghyuck winks at him before brushing his tongue over his front teeth and then biting the air in your direction. Renjun cringes.
"I can defend myself, don't you worry," you confirm with a smile and Renjun wants to kiss the floor you're walking on. Well, maybe not this floor since he is sure that ketchup stain by the fridge has been there since they moved in and got McDonald's on the first night.
"Oh, you know martial arts?" Donghyuck questions with raised eyebrows and great interest.
"No, but I can aim for your balls!" You explain, nodding excitedly.
"Be careful, he might enjoy that," Renjun comments before leaving towards Jaemin's room. He can hear Donghyuck silently arguing his statement in the background before promising you that he would not enjoy that, even though everyone present knows that's a lie. Renjun giggles one last time before turning the corner and stepping into the narrow hallway leading to Donghyuck's and Jaemin's bedrooms while wishing they would open a window every once in a while.
The few steps to Jaemin's door seem endless, especially as Renjun walks past Donghyuck's room that he had forgotten to close the door to, greeting Renjun with the pleasant sight of a fleshlight. Renjun whines quietly, but realizes nonetheless that he is happy to be Donghyuck's friend. He might be disgusting, but it's actually kind of funny.
So, without proper preparation of what to say, Renjun arrives at Jaemin's door. His hand hesitates in front of the "alpha male", "gym bro" and "Fortnite" stickers on Jaemin's door before he actually manages to knock.
The second Jaemin takes to offer him to enter stretches like gum.
"Did you forget something, bunny?" Jaemin asks as soon as the door opens. Renjun is greeted with the sight of Jaemin's massive back facing him as he sits at his desk, an online poker game decorating the large screen in front of him.
Given the nickname, Renjun doubts that Jaemin has any clue that it's him in his room right now. He tries to think of a cocky answer, but he has never been the spontaneous type, so all that comes out is "call me bunny one more time and i might kiss you" and Renjun has no idea where that came from. Still, it does the job of making Jaemin spin around in his chair, eyes wide in shock as he sees Renjun (and not bunny) stand in the doorway.
It's been a while since Renjun's seen Jaemin, and that might be one of the reasons why he finds himself staring at the younger's chest muscles for a bit too long for it to be a coincidence.
Once he's managed to peel his eyes off of Jaemin's nude upper body (he is glad he's wearing boxer shorts, at least) he aims to say something again since Jaemin's sure taking a long time to respond.
"Good day, sir," Renjun says and frowns at how awkward he is. Finally, a chuckle escapes Jaemin. Renjun also isn't sure why he's being so nice to Jaemin. Last time he checked, he was furious and wanted Jaemin to suffer a pussy-less summer. Maybe it's because everything else is perfect right now, and he doesn't have it in him to feel angry anymore.
"Hello, Jun," Jaemin finally says before getting up and wrapping his meaty arms around Renjun who experiences a weird mixture of relief, a spark of arousal, and the feeling of being crushed to death, so he just gently pads Jaemin's body in return. When Jaemin finally lets go of him, holding him by his shoulders and gently shaking him, Renjun reminds himself of all the disgusting things in this room alone so he can stop finding his best friend hot (namely: the dead cactus by the dirty window, the trash can that's spilling over with used tissues and condom wrappers, the countless empty bottles scattered around the place, most of which still containing an unnaturally colored fluid and some of which sporting little white clumps, the pin-up-girl-posters, the old gym socks all over the floor that he can smell from here, and the thick layer of dust on- basically everything Jaemin doesn't touch every day). It helps.
Jaemin steps back, opens a window and lights a cigarette.
"So, uh," Renjun starts, "don't freak out."
Jaemin nods and smiles.
"But I'm here with," Renjun halts to force down a smile and fail, "with my girlfriend. And don't feel pressured right now! It's all good. But we.. we came to talk things out."
Jaemin is not smiling anymore, but nods nonetheless. Renjun feels a bit bad, a bit selfish, even.
"Would you, uh-" Renjun scratches the back of his head before stepping towards the window as well because the distance is making him feel a lot more awkward "Would you mind telling me what happened? Back then?"
"She didn't tell you?" Jaemin questions, and Renjun is trying his best to decipher how Jaemin is feeling right now. Is he upset? Does he care?
"She did, but... I wanted to hear your side of the story. You're my best friend, after all," Renjun admits, eyes wandering around the room awkwardly before looking at Jaemin again. He is a bit glad his fingers find an old gum wrapper on the window sill to fiddle with. "I know it probably didn't feel like that for you in the past weeks. I'm sorry. It should've been bros before hoes but-"
"I know, you're a hopeless romantic, Jun," Jaemin reasons, "no need to apologize. I guess I just didn't like getting confronted with my ugly past."
"I get that," Renjun says and smiles slightly. Next thing he knows, Jaemin's pressing a kiss to his forehead. Renjun turns beet red within seconds. "Stop it, idiot, I have a girlfriend."
Jaemin laughs loudly. "What, am I your gay awakening?"
"You know very well who my gay awakening was." Renjun thinks back to his high school days, especially that one kid, tall, handsome, loud and a little stupid. Oh, meow, his first love.
Jaemin ruffles his hair. "So, my side of the story, huh?" He leans on his forearms and looks out the window, blowing the smoke into the cold air. Renjun, already shivering a little, wonders how Jaemin's not dying from the cold right now. "There is not much to it, really. I was a horny teenager, she was a pretty girl. It was not cool of me to just – y'know – hit and run. I have learned since then. Girls know what they get themselves into when they hop into my bed, I make it very clear."
"Very noble of you," Renjun says, and he hopes it doesn't sound sarcastic to Jaemin's ears. This might not be Renjun's preferred lifestyle, but to each their own, who is he to judge? "I'm just hoping this won't stand between us."
"Oh, don't worry. I won't fuck your girlfriend again," Jaemin promises, snapping the bud of the cigarette out the window.
"Not what I meant-" Renjun says, but is honestly a bit relieved to hear that. Well, he's pretty sure you wouldn't cheat on him, and he knows that Jaemin has about 200 other options just off the top of his head, but it still feels nice to be reassured. "So, are we good?"
"We are so good," Jaemin announces with a grin, pulling Renjun into another rib-cracking hug. This time, Renjun actually manages to hug him back. He loves Jaemin dearly (platonically), even though he's a real pig at times. Renjun daydreams a bit more about how much he loves his friends before Jaemin detaches himself from Renjun to announce that they should probably head out so he can apologize to the real victim of all of this. Renjun swears he's going to twist Jaemin's nipples until they fall off if he goes out there to meet you without putting a shirt on first. Jaemin laughs, slaps Renjun's back so hard the air gets knocked out of his lungs, then complies and slips into the next best sweater.
Renjun sighs as he realizes the writings on it. Better than nothing, he guesses.
He isn't really surprised as they enter the kitchen to find Donghyuck flexing his very little gain of biceps in front of you and you booing at him with your thumb pointing downwards. Once you notice Jaemin, Renjun notices how you tense up a bit, and he immediately comes rushing to your side to feel you slightly relax with his arm around your shoulder.
"Long time no see-" Donghyuck squints at the lettering on Jaemin's sweater, "orgasm donor."
"Might have not seen you, but I definitely smelled those stinkers you leave in the bathroom for me to find," Jaemin responds. Renjun is a bit surprised to find that this whole situation must have affected Jaemin enough to not even interact with his platonic soulmate in the slightest.
"You make it sound like I don't flush," Donghyuck mumbles, but it goes unnoticed since Jaemin has now turned to you.
"I want to apologize, which I should've done way sooner," Jaemin starts, and the tension in the air is scaring Renjun a bit. "I was young and a total dick, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry."
No one says anything, not even Donghyuck, who has an opinion or at least a thought on everything. It is quiet for a good while, and Renjun fears that you are not ready to forgive Jaemin, which, in all honesty, is fair, given you've lived with the trauma he gave you for years now. Renjun has tried fairly often since he found out what you went through, but he can't imagine how he would've reacted (and lived on) if his first love (who took his v-card) just left without saying anything. (He had to move to fulfill his dream of becoming an idol a year later, sadly, but they're still in touch, on and off. This also makes his encounter with you on the living room floor the other night a bit ironic, but that is besides the point right now.)
Finally, you breathe in. The anxiety in Jaemin's eyes tightens. Everyone is holding their breath.
"I forgive you." You reach out and shake Jaemin's hand. Hell breaks loose in Renjun's chest because, wow, what did he do in his past life to deserve such luck. He is so happy, he smooches your cheek. You giggle, Jaemin smiles and Donghyuck hollers in the background. This little party goes on for a moment before the atmosphere relaxes again. Donghyuck pipes up again to fill the silent moment with an unnecessary comment, "is it just me or does this situation call for a gang bang?"
"Donghyuck, I swear to God, I am going to stuff you head first into Jaemin's nut-napkin-trash can and send a picture of it to your mom," Renjun hisses, but Donghyuck seems unfazed.
"Nothing she hasn't seen before." He shrugs. Renjun decides not to question it.
_____
Renjun's life is so wonderful, he wishes someone would write a story about it. With him by your side, you actually managed to get a job which occupies you half of every other day. Although, you still live with Renjun, which he doesn't mind at all. He loves having you come home to a freshly cooked dinner, to then snuggle on the couch until you either fall asleep or start diddling.
Renjun likes when it's the second option, just like tonight, where he's seated on the floor in front of the couch with your legs draped over his shoulders as he eats you out slowly and softly. Your gentle gasps are music to his ears, the prime time movie playing in the background long forgotten and tuned out as his attention is fully on you.
The slight tugs on his hair make his stomach churn with desire, hands and mouth suddenly too eager to keep his teasing manner up as he moves up to kiss you instead. You giggle into the kiss at his fiery passion, suggesting to take things to the bedroom instead.
Renjun does not need to be told twice as he pulls you against him, making you chuckle even more, and moves you to the bedroom.
Your back hits the mattress with a soft thud as you smile excitedly at Renjun who comes climbing over your body to be at eye level with you again. His hands find your hips, caressing their way upwards while pushing the silky fabric of your shirt up in the process, allowing your braless chest to meet his hungry eyes. The rest of your clothing follows suit, Renjun feeling the flame of lust relight once again as his bare skin touches yours.
"Can we try something tonight?" You suddenly whisper, gaze trained on Renjun's face waiting impatiently for his answer. With his mouth slightly agape, he nods. His eyes jump to where your hand is suddenly touching his, following as you move it upwards to your neck, gently wrapping his smooth fingers around it and applying pressure.
Renjun gulps in awe.
"Press here when you push in," you say, eyelids fluttering as you mimic the action with your fingers against his. Renjun nods carefully, pupils blown probably as wide as yours with lust and desire, heart pounding in his chest as if it was the first time all over again. He will always feel like this around you.
Finding your entrance, Renjun coats his tip with your essence, teasing your awaiting body for another moment or so until his tip catches at your hole. He remembers your words, the grip of his fingers tightening around your throat as he slowly pushes forward, length sinking in slowly.
He's not even all the way in and he can already feel you clench around him, walls hugging him as if they're afraid of letting him go, hole almost fluttering at the feeling of being choked. All that paired with how heavenly you look wrapped up in ecstasy, pretty moans flowing freely only impacted by the way Renjun restricts the flow of air into your lungs and of blood into your brain.
Renjun loves you. He is so deeply in love with you he feels like he could laugh and cry simultaneously, stomach tickling with the all too familiar butterflies every time you look at him. He can't ever get enough of you, he needs you close to him. Never is he going to let you go. He will fight for you, whatever that might mean.
"I'm so in love with you," Renjun can't hold back saying, gently gaze caressing you lovingly. The slow pace he sets makes both of you see stars, length dragging along your walls perfectly to bring you to your shared high.
And it's probably this what makes it sting 100 times more the next morning. You were up early to go to work, kissing Renjun's forehead goodbye as he was still idling sleepily in bed. His mind is still groggy when he peels himself off the sheets and picks up his phone for the first time that day, weak hands struggling to remove the charger. Although, all sleepiness is wiped from his body the second he looks at the screen.
The pretty lock screen picture he has showing you during golden hour is hidden behind a bunch of messages that came in over night. But Renjun is not interested in the four messages he had gotten from Donghyuck ("TW: dickpic", a photo, "can i send it like this or does the slit look off to you??" and "or is it just me?????") or the Instagram reel Jaemin sent to the group chat with the message "me when i was in renjun's gf ha haaa" and Donghyuck responding with "clean".
What makes Renjun's heart drop, beat 20 times its usual speed and then drop again is the following E-Mail notification:
Dear Renjun Huang,
we feel the need to inform you that during our yearly check-ups, we noticed that there has been an incident with your account. Unfortunately, it seems like there has been a mistake made on the company's side regarding your profile.
It seems that someone has hacked into our system, gotten to your private information and pretended to be your Soulmatch™.
We dearly apologize for this mistake. To protect your safety, we have now deleted your account and all private information regarding your person. Please get in touch with us if you want to press charges against the intruder.
Of course, we will pay back the amount you have spent on our Premium Love Package immediately.
Again, our deepest apologies.
Sincerely,
The Soulmatch™ Team
Renjun is not sure how to react to this. Immediately, he checks the app, but he is logged out already. He tries to log in, but his profile is nowhere to be found.
Putting his phone down, he falls onto his back. His mind is racing with thoughts, but they do not seem to make any sense. Someone pretended to be his soulmate? He has never gotten any matches except-
Except you.
Was this... all a hoax? Were you not his soulmate? Have you been lying to him all this time? Why? What does this even mean? How did you do it? And most importantly, what is he going to do now?
Before he knows it, tears start pooling in his eyes, and soon after they drip hotly down his cheeks.
You lied to him.
Have you just used him all this time? Is everything a lie? Do you even love him back? Where did the lies begin? Does he even know who you are? Is this why you've been so secretive about every single detail of your life? Because everything is just made up?
And he just let you. He put up with all of it because he is a pathetic romantic who believes in soulmates. Because he is so desperate to find love. You lied to him with every fibre of your being. And he kissed you. He made love to you. He held you and comforted you. Hell, he even let down his best friend because of you. How could he have been so stupid?
Renjun simply has no words. And he doesn't think he has anything to say to you ever again. He just wants to know why, and how, but he doesn't want to ask you because you're going to lie your way out of it anyway, no?
Shaky legs allow him to get up and walk over into the living room where all your stuff is scattered around.
He is so stupid. He let you live with him. He trusted you without question.
And you used him.
He never wants to see you or any of your stuff ever again, he decides as he kicks against your backpack leaned against the couch, wincing in pain immediately as the contents of the backpack appear to be much more solid than he presumed. His hands grab ahold of his injured foot, causing him to pathetically jump around on one leg until he gives up and falls onto the couch. Wow, he can't even have his dramatic meltdown without being an embarrassing idiot.
The next few hours he spends mostly crying or angrily pacing around. He's thrown all your stuff into a corner and covered it with a blanket so he doesn't need to get reminded of how he's just a pathetic loser every few minutes, although it doesn't help.
He is not sure whether to be upset about the fact that you can't use your phone at work or not, he only knows that by the time 2pm comes around (the time you get off work) he starts to panic.
He is not going to face you. Not now, not like this, preferably not ever. He debates if he should call you, but knowing how easily influenced he is, he'd probably let you lull him in again. No way is he going to face you, nor your voice, nor your texts. All that's left to notify you that Renjun wants you out of his life immediately is a handwritten note to leave while he goes and takes a walk, and hopefully by the time he comes back, you and all your stuff are gone.
Unfortunately, before he can even get a pen and a piece of paper, he hears the keys jiggling as the door is being unlocked. Renjun briefly debates whether jumping out the window would hurt less than this encounter.
"Honey I'm h-" your face comes into view, and Renjun feels his heart beat up his throat. He feels so uncomfortable, so bad, so stupid, so pathetic. "What's wrong?"
Okay, great. It seems to be written all over his face how his morning went.
"Don't you have anything to say to me?" Is all he gets out, cringing at how shaky his voice is, how weak and cracked it sounds after he's dramatically sobbed for a good half of his morning.
"What do you mean?" Your brows contort, and Renjun is glad that he for once does not feel any sexual attraction to you while you're fighting. This was too much.
"Maybe how you lied to me about every single aspect of your life?"
"Huh??"
Renjun wipes his face with one hand. "Didn't know you could hack."
The utter confusion on your face turns into an expression of shock, fear even. "Oh God, oh God."
"That's right, now you remember," Renjun says passive aggressively.
"I think I'm gonna throw up," you say, not meeting Renjun's eyes as you hold your stomach.
"Listen. I'm not going to scream at you. I just want you out. Out of here and out of my life," Renjun says and is surprised at how calm he appears.
"No, no, no, please. I can explain-"
"You can explain all you want, how can I ever believe something you say ever again after all you did was lie? Do you even love me?" Renjun raises his voice against his own better judgement, tears appearing in his eyes once again, but he doesn't let them spill out. He can't give you that kind of satisfaction.
By now, you're kneeling on the floor. The one and a half meters separating you from him feel endless, you're crying restlessly and Renjun doesn't even feel a pinch of empathy for you.
"I do! I love you, please, Renjun, please, you're all I have," you beg.
At this, Renjun feels his heart shatter a little more. Maybe he does have a bit of empathy for you. At the same time, a new wave of anger arises.
"I trusted you. I gave you everything. And you just- you lied. All you did was lie!"
"That's not true! I-" you suddenly crawl over to him and Renjun takes a step back. "I promise. I love you. Maybe the beginning was- fucked up, but everything after that was sincere! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please!"
At this point, the gates of pride can no longer contain Renjun's tears and he breaks down as well, his knees hit the floor in front of you and he begins sobbing. "How could you do this to me?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," is all you reply, hands reaching out to touch him, and he flinches back, but somehow still lets it happen, lets your arms wrap around him and burry your face in the crook of his neck as you pathetically whimper into the fabric of his shirt.
Renjun follows suit. Of course, he hates you right now, but a very big part of him is in love with you – or rather with the version of you that you made up (???). Not listening to the part of his consciousness screaming at him to stop, he wraps his arms around you as well, crying wholeheartedly against your shaking body.
He has no idea how long you sit there, his legs have gone numb at this point, everything hurts, and then you finally speak up.
"I can explain. It's not good, it's not nice, it's no excuse, but I at least want you to know the truth and not whatever truth you've made up in your head."
Renjun nods. He shouldn't, but he wants you to tell him what really happened.
He also hates that you know him so well.
You somehow find yourselves on the living room floor a few minutes later. Renjun's brought two bottles of water to hydrate after that crying fest out there.
"So, the app," you start, not meeting Renjun's eyes in the slightest. "I used to- work for them."
You take some time to let that sink in. Renjun decides he does not want to respond until the end.
"There was a huge data leakage, and I thought I had it under control, but turns out I didn't, which is why I had to meet you to get you to delete your profile- it's complicated. Or maybe I just made it complicated. But that is why.. you got that weird match. Usually, you can visit that person's profile, but obviously I couldn't have you see it was me because of- our previous encounter, which by the way wasn't planned! It was really just a coincidence!"
Renjun is unsure how this is making him feel.
"Anyway, so I came over. You went to the bathroom and I deleted the app of your phone. Silly me apparently forgot that i had to delete the profile, which is why I came back. I didn't plan for us to hook up again- or whatever. I just needed enough time to delete your profile, which I fucked up. This is already bad enough, but it gets worse."
Renjun does not like where this is going.
"Obviously, I got fired. And you know my situation by now, this was literally all I had. With what I had saved, it lasted me about half a year until I had no money left, I had no idea what to do. I applied for jobs everywhere, but no one was willing to hire me after finding out why I got fired last time. This is where it gets really fucked up. I'm sorry."
Your nervous fiddling makes Renjun believe you, even though he is not sure if he should.
"I- thought that... oh, God, this is so bad."
"Just say it," Renjun says and is not really surprised by how dead inside he sounds.
"Well, I thought that maybe if I like had sex with you again, you'd let me stay with you? I really don't know what the plan was, but... literally you're the only person I knew and... I don't know, I just thought- I guess I didn't think. But then you said you didn't want to have sex anymore, but wanted me to stay anyway- so I... used you... I mean, I still... liked you? Obviously, or else I wouldn't've slept with you.. twice! I mean- God, I'm such a horrible person.."
Renjun doesn't have to say anything to that.
"Well, and then things went so great – except for the Jaemin thing – and for the first time ever, I felt loved? Because I was? Literally, half the time I wished I would've stayed the time we first hooked up so we could have a normal relationship that isn't based on me trying to save my ass and using you... But everything was so beautiful. You made me feel safe, and I pretty much forgot about the app. I really just enjoyed being with you. I enjoyed falling in love with you. Even meeting your parents and friends, how you sorted out the Jaemin thing for me..."
Renjun believes you are genuine.
"That's it... I think.. I just- I'm sorry... I shouldn't have lied to you.. I should've just been honest from the beginning and said I made a mistake or whatever but- I don't know, I didn't. I guess I was scared? I don't know.. But please, I need you to believe me when I say everything after that was real. I love you. I like you, everything about you, and not only because you're kind and offered me a home... basically, no. I like you for you. I love you. Even if you-" you choke up briefly "decide that you don't want to be with me anymore, I just need you to believe me when I say... that I truly love you. I never lied about that, ever. Not once. And I wouldn't in a million years."
"Is that all?" Renjun asks after a minute. You, looking at him for the first time, nod. Before his heart can start beating again, before the butterflies can come back, he needs to remind himself that you used him. You used him and you lied.
"I mean, this is a lot," Renjun starts. You suddenly seem to be unable to look at him anymore. "I feel- actually I don't really know how I feel, but thank you for.. being honest, I hope?"
"I promise."
"I'm going to be honest, I feel... betrayed?"
"Rightfully so."
"I need some time to think about it... Is it.. okay.." Renjun rethinks his decision of asking you beforehand, "I'm going to need to take a walk.. clear my head, make up my mind. I'm not going to ask you to stay, but I'm also not asking you to leave. Do what you will..."
"I understand," you nod, and Renjun gets up. "Wait-"
Renjun halts and turns around to look at you getting up from your place on the carpet. "This might be.. wrong? Toxic? But... can I... if this is the last time I can... if you decide to.. not be with me... can I kiss you one last time?"
Renjun feels his throat close up at your words. Either you're a really, really good liar or you're being honest about your feelings. His breath hitches, his heart performs summersaults in his chest, and his voice trembles, "you can."
Carefully you lean in, slowly pressing your lips against his. There is not much going on, your hands gently hover on his shoulders, barely touching him at all, and your lips just stay still against his. Still, Renjun feels like a thousand silent words and a million hidden emotions clear up as his eyes close to feel you against him. His breath is shaky, he feels himself getting hot as more tears well up behind his closed lids. He really doesn't want to let you go.
As you part from him, his lips chase you for a split second before he realizes what he's doing. "I should get going."
"Be safe." You nod again and Renjun hears the threatening tears in your voice. God, how badly he wants to believe you.
'I love you, I love you!', his heart screams at him to scream at you, but he doesn't. Instead, he steps out of the room, grabs his keys, slips into his shoes and jacket, and heads out without looking back.
The cold air hits his face. Yet, unlike in the movies, he still doesn't feel any clearer. He still feels used and betrayed, he still feels like shit, but he knows he loves you. But is that enough of a reason to forgive you?
He tries to be logical, debate his options, but he can't focus. All that swirls around his brain is how your lips felt on his, and he wonders if kissing you was a mistake. This stupid, romantic mind of his...
Inevitably, after walking around the neighborhood for a good hour, thinking of nothing and everything, he decides that maybe he still isn't in the right mind to make a decision on his own. But who is he going to ask? Fucknut #1 and Serial-Fucker #2? Definitely not.
Therefore, he is glad his mother answers the phone after the second ring. Immediately, she knows something is up, and Renjun repeats the things you have told him (with less sexual details, as to be expected) to his mother who listens patiently.
Except for a "that's where I know her from!" and a short explanation how she saw a picture of you amongst your colleagues when she read that article about the love app, she just listens. Maybe he should've asked her about it back then, about the article. Maybe none of this would have happened. But then, he wouldn't have you in his life.
When he is done and asks for advice, she appears calm.
"Oh, Junnie. Love can be a funny thing. See, when I met your father, it wasn't easy either. Both of our families were against us, our lives were so different from each other, and still, there was so much connecting us that it had to be fate. I know it's hard to trust after something like this, I can only imagine what you're feeling right now, but you're a smart kid, you'll know what's right."
"But what would you do? What do you think?" Renjun asks.
His mother sighs and chuckles slightly. "Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic like you are, but... people make mistakes, Junnie. The universe brought you together so many times, I think it's fate. I don't know if you should forgive her, but I know I would."
"You would? You don't think I'm crazy? You don't think I'm letting her walk all over me?"
"Not that this should matter, but you haven't been completely honest with her either if I remember correctly?" His mom reminds him, and Renjun suddenly feels a bit lighter.
"The psychic," he mumbles.
"That's right. She told you you were going to be alone forever if you didn't meet someone by the end of this year, and that's the reason you signed up for that app in the first place. And a part of me believes that that's the reason why you even let her stay with you, why you were so willing to ignore all signs that something was up. Maybe you already knew?" His mother suggests and Renjun doesn't like it one bit how similar they are. Or maybe he does.
"How do you know me so well?" He whines, feeling a bit more confident about letting that kiss linger in his mind for so long.
"I raised you!" She chuckles and Renjun can feel himself smile. He thanks her again before ending the call before turning on his heels to head back home. God, he only hopes you're still there.
______
When Renjun unlocks the door to the apartment, his hands are shaking. It took him a good three attempts to finally get the key into the lock. Admittedly, he is nervous because, well, for obvious reasons, but he also isn't sure if you're still there. Your past of skidaddling when things get serious gives him every right to feel anxious as he listens for any signs of you still being around as he takes of his shoes.
He doesn't dare call out for you, instead he begins searching the place. He's not sure what's going to happen when he finds you since, well, it hasn't been nice of him to just leave you behind, but what was he going to do?!
His search is pointless, he realizes as he steps out of the last room, the bathroom, and you're not there. Honestly, he wasn't really confident that you'd still be there, but he had hope. What raises his eyebrow is that your stuff is still there, no longer cramped into the corner he threw them in a few hours ago, but neatly sorted and packed in case this was really the final day of your stay. But, point is: it's still there. Now why in the world would you head off and go your own way and leave all that behind.
It's then when the door is unlocked once again, your figure slipping in, red and puffy eyes meeting the puzzled Renjun standing in the hallway.
"Y-you're back," you deduct correctly, taking off your shoes and stepping inside.
"Sure am." Renjun isn't sure why he still sounds so pissed when he is here to forgive you. On a second thought, maybe he's too quick with it? Should he really listen to his mom and just- forgive you? Just like that? Oh, he already knows Donghyuck is going to put out a whole speech about how Renjun is "high on pussy" and "not thinking straight". But... he wants to. He wants to forgive you. He wanted to from the very first moment he saw that weird E-Mail. He just couldn't. And now he can... can he?
"I just went out to get your favorite snack from the little store down the street.. I thought it might... make you feel better," you finally reveal why you left the apartment and Renjun's heart jumps. "I dunno, I just- wanted to do something nice regardless of your decision." You nod to yourself.
Renjun just looks at you as you are unable to meet his eyes.
"They didn't have it, so I went to the other store, the one by the subway station, and they actually were out of stock, but I begged the guy to go check if they had some left somewhere," you inform him, shyly looking up at him, "my current state must've convinced him it was urgent." You smile weakly and motion to your face.
Renjun can't keep his strong demeanor up any longer. Two big steps (wow, he has to inform his doctor that his legs must've grown a few centimeters) and he's right in front of you, cupping your cheeks. "I love you," he simply says, your face so confused that you can only stutter a few syllables before Renjun crashes his lips to yours.
And, God, does it feel good. Honestly, he has so much more time to actually think about what you did, and what it means in the future, but he needs you here with him, right now, always and forever. Sure, it's going to take a bit for him to built his trust again, but for now, he doesn't actually care.
"I love you too," you manage to breathe out when Renjun parts from you.
"I realized a few things. And I may have been a bit dramatic? But, well, I also have a confession to make."
_____
Renjun pushed the admittedly tacky (and stereotypical? Renjun did get slight cultural appropriation vibes) curtain aside to slip into the dimly lit room, although once he entered, the aura of the room changed his mind completely. It's not that he had a sense for spirituality, but he has always been deeply interested in the matter, which made him glad his mother suggested to try it out once.
So this was it, Renjun's first Tarot card reading.
The lady had been super nice, Renjun could tell by one single glance she was competent and very able to perform this life changing reading for him.
"What question brings you here today?" She asked, shuffling her deck of cards which Renjun could not take his eyes off.
"Ask about your love life!" His mom urged beside him, giggling like the sunshine she is, and Renjun chuckled quickly before averting his eyes to look at the lady in front of them.
"Just- my future? If there is anything important I should know?" He decided since that would not exclude his mom's interests.
"Very well," the lady nodded and began shuffling the cards quicker, her hands rushing until one card fell out.
"Ah, The Fool," she explained, and Renjun frowned. His mother couldn't contain a chuckle. "Do not worry, dear. This is no description of your self. Instead The Fool can symbolize new beginnings. There is most likely change waiting for you."
Renjun felt his heart beat up his throat in a positive way, making him giddy to find out more. The lady shuffled her cards some more until two cards fell out at the same time.
"Here we have The Ace of Cups, upright, and The Lovers. There appears to be a new relationship waiting for you, a romantic one."
Renjun gently elbowed his mom next to him who seemed as erratic as he was right now.
"Oh dear, The High Priestess in reverse... this new relationship might be full of secrets, which can be good or bad, exciting or dangerous," The lady deducted, and Renjun gulped.
As she started shuffling again, three cards sprang out of the deck immediately, making even Renjun feel the urgency.
"Two of Wands, The Hermit, The Ace Of Pentacles," the lady read out, sounding worried.
"Why? What does it mean?" Renjun asked, worry also evident in his tone.
"Two of Wands might represent the urgency of this. You have to take action soon, or else – here comes The Hermit – you may find loneliness. The Ace of Pentacles shows us the time frame: one year. I get the strong feeling these cards are telling you to hurry finding that love, or you might be alone forever."
_____
"So basically that's why you've been this patient with me?"
"Basically," Renjun responds, feeling a bit bad about it, "I feel like I should've told you sooner?"
"Jun, don't worry. You're not the one who messed up here. If anything, this makes me feel a tiny bit better about how manipulative I've been..." You admit, frowning.
"Well, I'm not the only one calling the shots here," Renjun summarizes, "so I'm asking you: Do you still want to be my girlfriend?"
"Are you joking? I feel like you are," you say, a wide grin spreading over your face.
"Nope, I'm super serious," Renjun chuckles and pokes your shoulder for reasons he is not aware of.
"Wow, and here I was contemplating to offer you anal to make up for it," you joke (?).
Renjun blinks at you, his smile falling into a crooked smirk at the proposal of your kind offering. "I mean... is the offer still on the table?"
"You are such a man," you pinch him, but do not reject the idea.
"What if we did it right now? Right here?" Renjun suddenly grabs your waist, pulling you closer to his body and starts kissing your neck. His tone (hopefully) brings across that he's joking, that you obviously won't do it right now, but not never either, if you're still up for it.
"You'd be the first," you chuckle before kissing Renjun's nose.
"Stop making me hard," he mumbles before attacking you with more kisses. "I know it's only been like a few hours, but I missed you so much. Let's not fight ever again, yeah?"
"I agree," you say and Renjun pulls back to look at you. Maybe this is silly, maybe he forgives too easily, but it just feels right. The look in your eyes is so genuine, as was the offer of doing butt stuff, that Renjun is just pretty much sure that this was this one big thing every relationship has and now it will only get better.
"Or is there anything else you need to tell me," Renjun teases.
"Not a thing, you now know everything there is to know about me, which, admittedly, isn't that much.. do you have a confession to make?"
Renjun thinks for a second. "Well, just this one thing. Remember when we went to Jaemin's to talk things out? He was practically naked when I went in there and I may have stared a bit until I remembered that he is disgusting."
"Oh, word. His chest is super-"
"Hey." Renjun furrows his brows half playfully joking, half dead serious. "I get to say that. You don't."
You mimic zipping your mouth shut, locking it and throwing the key away. Renjun laughs and takes your hand in his to hold. "So, all this talk about anal and Jaemin... why don't we take this to the bedroom?"
"You really won't let this go, huh?" You smirk. "I'd say: what comes around goes around. Whatever you do to my butt, I'll do to yours."
"I believe I have never loved you more than right now," Renjun sighs before kissing you once again, on the mouth this time, and he feels like time stands still and rushes past double it's normal speed. His hands wander over your body, taking everything in, feeling you against him because you are his, once again, finally. Your hands are as excited touching him, and it dawns on Renjun that you're probably not going to make it to the bedroom, which is fine since he owns this entire place anyway (it's a rental, but you get the point).
Both of your clothes are off in no time, leaving Renjun's hands to freely roam over your naked skin, and it feels just as exhilarating as if you'd never had that fight. That stupid, stupid fight, right now, Renjun can't even remember what it was about, but that could partly be because of the lack of blood in his brain. His heavy erection is currently pressed heavenly against your lower stomach as you make out wildly, and Renjun can't even think about the usual foreplay he finds so important as you start rubbing your wetness all over him. He just wants to be in you, be connected to you, feel all of you against and around him, have the both of you desperately grinding and panting against each other.
Although, he feels kind of more dominant today, maybe there is still a very slight aftertaste of your betrayal lingering and he feels the need to show you that he can be in control over you if he wants to, or maybe he just feels extra manly and prideful today after you did everything to prove to him that you want him in your life. He decides that being on top would be enough to satisfy that need, so he gently pushes you back and lays you down on your back.
His tip brushes over your clit and you whine, a sound that is music to Renjun's ears, and when you speak up and practically beg him to just "put it in", who is he to deny you that wish?
Aligning himself with your hole, he gently pushes forward, allowing his tip to disappear between your velvety walls, and he loves how your eyes roll back and you gasp at how good he feels.
"Only the tip and you're already drooling," he observes, biting his lower lip smugly before pulling back out and repeating the action of fucking just the tip into you several times before giving in to your quiet pleas and pushes all the way in.
You choke on your moan at this, eyes glazed over with lust finding Renjun's under eyebrows furrowed by pleasure. Renjun can already feel you pulsating around him and God does that stroke his ego.
Although he decides he could be having more of an effect on you right now, so he places your legs on his shoulders instead of around his waist, and practically folds you in half to open you up for him so he can fill you deeper, so deeply his tip grazes at your cervix. To intensify your pleasure, his fingers come up to rub at your wet clit, three fingers massaging the nub in quick circles, the wetness allowing him to glide over the surface perfectly.
And your body seems to agree. In no time – Renjun's sure he must've set a new record – you announce that you're ready, seconds away from reaching your high, and Renjun thinks twice about letting you taste it. Well, you did kind of fuck up, but fuck it. Renjun loves the look on your face when you cum just too much to deny you it, instead spurring you on by telling you just how good you are for him, what a perfect girl you are and how much he loves having you cum on his cock.
Seconds later, you orgasm, clamping walls choking his dick in the best way possible, the look on your face and the moans sounding from your throat so pretty that Renjun feels like he's fallen in love all over again. When you come down, he praises you and kisses you, never missing an opportunity to tell you just how perfect you are.
"More," you whisper to him, eyelids heavy as your blurred view tries to find Renjun's eyes, and he briefly chuckles before granting your wish.
"Greedy are we?" He sets a faster pace this time, balls slapping against your ass where your wetness had already dripped down and probably seeped into the couch. Renjun feels so good, so happy, so fulfilled, and he is once again reminded why it was the right decision to forgive you. He is such a man, he thinks, and is reminded of a few minutes ago when you said that to him.
"Can you turn around for me, baby?" He asks, suddenly in the mood to watch your ass as he repeatedly disappears into you, and you comply, allowing him to pull out before getting on your hands and knees. Renjun grins seeing your beautiful ass in front of him, he gently slaps it two times before gently pressing on your back to get you to lie down for him again, though this time on your stomach. He enters you again, filling you up perfectly once again, like you were made for each other, and he puts his entire weight on you to be able to still whisper in your ear.
His fingers find your hair, not to pull, just to be there so you feel it, and as he rams himself inside repeatedly, he mumbles the dirtiest things to you, about how well you're taking him, how beautiful you look underneath him and how much he just loves to fuck you. And yes, he even goes into detail (damnit Donghyuck) about how perfectly tight you are for him. A hand sneaks between your body and the couch, fingers quickly finding your clit again and you whine.
"'s so good," you say, voice trembling, "love you s'much."
"I love you too, baby," Renjun responds, grinning ear to ear like a maniac because he just loves this effect he has on you. This might just be a fantasy, but he's sure he's the only one who could ever make you feel this good. And admittedly, even right now when you're not doing much except take it, you make him feel just as good.
"Fuck, I think I'm gonna cum," he grunts, and you whine, cunt clenching around him at the mere prospect of him reaching his high.
"Me too, God," you manage to bring out.
"Where do you want it?" Renjun asks. Although he already knows your answer, he loves hearing you say it.
"I-inside, please," you mewl, arching your back a bit more to give him perfect access, "cu- cumming, cumming, cumming."
And just as you orgasm around him, walls wrapping around Renjun's cock impossibly tight, he follows suit, pressing his hips against your ass to fill you as deeply as possible. He pushes in a few more times to really get it all in there, have all his cum so deep inside you'll still feel it the next day.
"God, fuck, I love you so much," he pants, now a little exhausted as the adrenaline washes off. He pulls out, allowing you to turn around on your back and smile at him. God, he loves seeing you fucked out like this.
"I love you," you reply, then your nose scrunches and Renjun remembers that, when you shoot cum inside someone, it's going to inevitably drip back out, and he doesn't have to ruin his couch any more than he already did.
______
Renjun's arm is draped over your body, cuddling and talking in bed after the intense 4 rounds you just had, and maybe Renjun should've seen it coming, but honestly? How could he? So he jumps as he hears the doorbell ring.
"Who the fuck..." he mumbles as he gets up, puts on some underwear (at least) and stumbles to the door.
"Tell them to come back tomorrow, I'm not done with you," you giggle behind him as you slip into one of Renjun's shirts and a pair of panties you find laying on the floor. Renjun grins and throws you a wink before turning on the speaker.
"Hello?"
"Congratulations!"
"What the fuck are you asshats doing here?" Renjun groans and hides his face in his unoccupied hand. You have stepped over and are now pressing your ear against the speaker to be able to listen as well.
"We heard the news and came to celebrate?" Jaemin says.
"Actually, we didn't know how it went so we brought booze either for celebrating or for condolences. We took a wild guess," Donghyuck adds.
"How do you even-"
"Your mom told me."
"I don't think I appreciate you being involved with my mom..."
"Your words, not mine. Now open up."
"We're not exactly... dressed appropriately," Renjun informs and he can hear Jaemin howl and Donghyuck laugh.
"Let us in, we'll give you 2 minutes," Jaemin says.
"As if I'm going to believe you'd be passing an opportunity to barge in and see my girlfriend in her undies," Renjun says.
"Open up!" Donghyuck pushes.
"We just fucked four times!" You chime in, and Renjun isn't sure why you needed to clarify what didn't need to be clarified. Especially since, except for a few cheers that die down quickly, it's silent for a good 20 seconds until Donghyuck informs you that the old lady living two floors below just came home and most definitely heard that.
"Just let us in," Jaemin shouts right into the speaker and Renjun has to hold it away from his ear to not go deaf.
"Are you okay with this? I'm sure I could make them leave... somehow..."
"Sure! I could take two more," you joke and Renjun squints at you, making you teasingly roll your eyes. "Kidding."
"Okay, give us a few," Renjun says and just hangs up before they can complain. You both run into the bedroom and get changed into relatively acceptable clothing and Renjun has the decency to at least open a window to make the strong smell of sex lighten a bit before he checks in with you again, then opens the door.
Donghyuck and Jaemin's hollers can be heard echoing through the hallways until they finally show up at Renjun's door step.
"Nice work, man," Jaemin compliments as he sees the state of your still slightly tousled hair, and pats Renjun's back. They take off their shoes and let themselves in. While Jaemin stores the alcohol they brought in the fridge, Donghyuck skips into the living room to occupy Renjun's phone charger.
Oh, no. The living room.
Renjun darts after him, holding onto the door frame to not fall from the immense speed of his sprint, but it's too late. Donghyuck is already grinning at the used tissues scattered around the place and Renjun's underwear dangling from the uplight.
"You really are just high on pussy, it seems," Donghyuck teases, clearly hinting at how Renjun forgave you too (?) quickly. "You're not thinking straight. Or too straight..."
"You don't even know the whole story," Renjun defends himself while crossing his arms.
"Don't worry man, I'm not judging. I feel like this is the right thing for you," Donghyuck says and Renjun is surprised at his choice of words... such a... lack of disgusting-ness? Donghyuck even trots over and places a brotherly hand on Renjun's shoulder and gives him a smile.
"Thank you," Renjun says and means it. Donghyuck takes a few steps back, bows, then his eyes lock in on something on the floor.
"I think I'm taking these with me," Donghyuck announces before bending down further and holding up your panties with his forefinger.
"Don't you dare-" Renjun warns, but Donghyuck already started pushing the fabric into his pocket.
"Take it out," you say, suddenly appearing behind Renjun. Donghyuck seems taken aback, especially as you step over and grab his hair. "Give. Them. Back."
You pull hard, only once, and Donghyuck moans, but complies, and Renjun is party impressed and partly enraged.
"Starting without me?" Jaemin grins as he, too, has appeared in the room by now.
"Guys, I think we need some boundaries regarding my girlfriend," Renjun hisses through grit teeth. You agree, finally letting go of Donghyuck's hair who falls to his knees. Jaemin shrugs and sits down on the couch just as Renjun stuffs the used tissues into his pocket.
"What do you say?" You address Donghyuck who whines out a pathetic apology. You grin. "Sorry, this is kind of fun," you whisper to Renjun.
"I mean if you want to, you could talk like that to me every once in a while-" Renjun mumbles back, immediately feeling you cling to his side.
"Yeah?" You bite your lip.
"There was some talk about boundaries?" Jaemin recalls and you back off a bit. "When I can't have it, at least don't rub it in my face- unless you're going to literally rub it in my face-"
"I swear to God-"
© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.
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sylusmistress · 17 days ago
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Run Kitten... Run
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Chapter 3: Fire and Desire
“Have you heard from her?”
“If I had, do you think I would be wasting my time speaking with either of you humans?”
“Watch it, Rafayel. All of us care about her and there’s no reason to take your frustrations out on me or Xavier.”
Stubborn tapping can be heard throughout Zayne’s medical office as Rafayel sits in one of his wooden arm chairs across his oak desk and lets his annoyance with this current situation be heard loud and clear. Meanwhile Xavier sits to the right of Rafayel with a calm demeanor, but Zayne can see past the façade and knows that Xavier is on edge the same way the other two men are. You were expected to return from your mission three days ago and your absence has caused the trio to gather in an effort to try and locate you. After interrogating Tara and doing some digging with ‘unethical’ sources of information, Rafayel and Xavier made their way over to Akso Hospital to inform Zayne about the dangerous mission Capitan Jenna sent you on.   
“That wicked captain should have never sent my beloved to find this King of the Wanderers fellow by herself. She’s just a rookie hunter! I should have placed a tracker on her when I had the chance.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose before taking a much-needed deep breath, Zayne does his best to calm his nerves before addressing Rafayel. Between the three of them Zayne and Rafayel are known to constantly bump heads because of the differing methods they choose to use when it comes to loving and protecting you. “I have told you this countless times before Rafayel, you cannot place a tracker on her because that would have been an invasion of her privacy. My patient is not a piece of property, and we do not own her. We have no right to keep track of her location 24/7.”
Out of the three of them Xavier is typically the sensible one that agrees with Zayne and his perspective, but for once he actually agrees with Rafayel’s proposal. It has been hell not knowing where you are or if you are okay and it is driving him crazy. He hasn’t eaten, hasn’t slept, and his heart has constantly been aching knowing that you might be in danger he can’t protect you from. Shifting in his seat he looks between Rafayel and Zayne before speaking up in a calm but detached voice. “That’s actually not a bad idea Raf, when my universe returns, we should definitely place a tracker on her. I can simply mark her with –,”
Swirling his head to the side, Rafayel directs his aggression towards Xavier before glaring at him with his blown-out pupils filled with possession. “You mean when my muse returns to me. And you will NOT be the one marking her. I will!” The sudden shift in Xavier’s energy isn’t lost on Rafayel as he abruptly stands up from his seat and prepares to land an attack on the man sitting next to him. Even though Rafayel and Zayne are the main ones who bump heads and argue, Rafayel and Xavier are the main ones who provoke each other enough to engage in physical battles that typically leaves them needing medical assistance from either Zayne or you.
Noticing what might happen next, Zayne also stands up from his seat and Xavier follows as all three men begin breathing heavily with their Evol energy flickering in the air. It is a miracle that neither one of them have succeeded in killing one another because every time the three of them are all together in a closed space their egos and obsession for you forces all rational thinking to leave their minds. “That is an INVASION of her privacy, Rafayel!” Zayne can feel his resolve slipping and he wants to do nothing more than put Rafayel in his place. Your history with the other two men doesn’t matter to Zayne. You are his patient and his to keep safe. You belong to him. You are his to keep. “She is my patient, and she will not be receiving any trackers, modifications, or marks on her body without MY approval.”
Feeling his Evol energy prickle beneath his fingers, Rafayel swiftly climbs over Zayne’s desk until the two of them are face to face with mere inches separating them. “Who the fuck died and left you in charge? You are nothing but a hypocrite. Didn’t you just say that she isn’t our ‘property’, and we don’t ‘own’ her? Or does that only apply to me and Xavier?” Pausing, Rafayel smirks with malice intent before lowering his voice to a murderous tone. “If it wasn’t for my beloved caring about your pathetic life I would’ve killed you already with a simple song. Your human body is so fragile that you stand no chance against me, doctor.”
Squaring his shoulders to make his body look bigger than life, Zayne lowers his voice and stares deeply into Rafayel’s eyes. There is nothing but icy animosity in his expression and after a year of having to share you with the other two men Zayne has grown accustomed to Rafayel’s mirrored feelings of hatred towards him. “Save your threats for someone who actually gives a fuck, fish boy. Put your childish behavior aside so we can work together to find her. Three heads are better than one… even if one of the heads is a hotheaded brat.”
Scoffing and rolling his eyes, Rafayel returns to his seat and plops down with an aggravated huff before looking over at Xavier who has also returned to his seat. “Lumiere, tell Zayne all of the information we found out about this King of the Wanderers fellow and how he’s been searching the black market for a specific Aether Core.”
__________________________________
Desire and temptation fill the thoughts in your head as you let Sylus led you to his private master bathroom. Just like his bedroom you can tell that no expense was spared, and this man enjoys the finer things in life. To the left you take note of a lavish walk-in shower that could possibly fit ten people inside, to the right there is a white agate vanity attached to his and her sinks and sitting directly in the middle of the bathroom is an amethyst bathtub that calls to you. Taking calculated steps towards the tub you hold back a small sigh when your bare feet touch the warm marble floors. Of course, this man would have heated flooring in his bathroom. Leaning against the bathroom sink, the red eyed devil of seduction watches you with a calculated expression as you walk closer and closer to his bathtub. You can feel his analyzing red orbs staring past your physical form and deep into your soul, causing you to suck in a tight breath. One. Inhale. Two. Exhale–
Red sirens are going off in your mind and you know that your focus should be placed on finding a chink in his armor or exploit any of his weaknesses to arrest him but right now you want nothing more than to be cleaned and pampered as promised. Who would have guessed that almost a week outside alone in the wilderness would have such a drastic impact on your body and mental stability. A tense silence befalls between you and Sylus as he continues watching you struggle with turning the correct knobs on the faucet to his tub. He knows you are struggling, and you know you are struggling but there is still a part of you that is too prideful to ask him for help. You are already breaking every rule a hunter swears their life to and to keep some semblance of your dignity you refuse to ask your captor for help.
Captor? No that’s not right… Frowning to yourself you faintly shake your head and get lost in your thoughts. Technically you haven’t been kidnapped and Sylus has informed you that you are free to leave whenever you want. He even took the time to show you where the exit was before leading you to his private bathroom. No, you made a choice to be here because you feel that you can still complete this mission. You aren’t a captive and he is not your captor. Instead, Sylus is your fugitive, and you are his lawful huntress that will bring him down no matter what.     
Another agonizing beat of silence passes, and Sylus has finally had enough with watching you attempt to turn on the water to fill the tub. After all, he was the one that promised to pamper you and despite him being a criminal he is a man of his word. With nothing said, Sylus straightens his frame to his full height and walks behind you so that your back is pressed against his clothed muscular chest before reaching around your waist and turning on the faucet to his tub. The movement is small, but you can feel heat collecting in your lower stomach as you become tipsy on the closeness between you and him. “Remove your clothes princess. Unless you plan on bathing in that filthy uniform.” The low treble this man speaks in almost causes your knees to buckle beneath your weight but the cockiness in his tone is enough to bring you back to your senses… for now.
Putting much needed distance between yourself and Sylus you place your hands on your hips before turning around and glaring at him with a fire that doesn’t truly reach your eyes. “You need to leave the bathroom so I can get undressed.”
“No.”
His reply is so simple, short, and final that you swore you heard him incorrectly. It takes a moment before you realize Sylus has denied your request and before you can open your mouth to yell at him about respecting a woman’s privacy your jaw hits the floor when he begins peeling away his clothing. With that smug smirk on his face Sylus pulls his sweater over his head revealing his sculpted abs before tossing the article of clothing somewhere on his bathroom floor. Next, he reaches for his belt buckle and slowly begins undoing it while holding eye contact with you. You feel your throat grow dry when he tosses his belt next to his discarded sweater and then trails his fingers down to the button and zipper of his pants.
Feeling your face flush with embarrassment you quickly turn your body away from Sylus and stare at the wall in front of you. While trying to stop this growing need that’s festering in the bottom of your stomach you think back to the three men that are waiting for you back home. As someone with three boyfriends you shouldn’t feel shy about undressing in front of a fugitive. You are a hunter and it’s not like you are attracted to him in a sexual kind of way. Right? Pushing aside the possible outcome of Zayne, Xavier, or worse Rafayel finding out what you are about to do your mind drifts over to the thought of a possible promotion if you succeed in completing this mission. After moments of stillness, you decide that playing along with whatever game Sylus has planned for you is just something that needs to be done for the greater good of the mission and your lovers will understand. You know they are unstable and will NOT understand.  
Scanning your eyes through the massive bathroom you locate a towel rack and figure out a loophole to this challenge. Quickly you discard your vest and shirt before wrapping the large towel around your chest and once you are covered you hastily remove your pants and underwear. Once you are free of your clothing with just a towel covering your frame you turn around to face Sylus and notice that he has already settled into one side of the steaming bubble bath and is patiently waiting for you to join him.
Quirking up an eyebrow Sylus grins mischievously when his eyes drift from your face and settle on the towel that’s wrapped around your body before leaning back against the edge of the tub and letting his arms drift on the sides. Closing his eyes he releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in as he allows his muscles to relax under the water.
You may be oblivious sometimes and miss social cues here and there, but you are able to read his quiet gesture loud and clear. He is giving you an opportunity to enter the bathtub without him looking and you take advantage of the opportunity as you slip into the other side of the bath before removing your towel and letting it sit on the pile of clothes nearby.
For a long moment you sit in the shared bath with Sylus and take in his Greek god physique without an ounce of shame. With his eyes closed and his head tilted back it is a lot easier to get a good look at the man before you. The King of the Wanderers. Originally you expected to find a man who looked like a beast or even a weird looking old guy that shouldn’t be within 5 feet of the human population. Never in a million years would you have ever guessed that the one who has been pulling the strings to wreak mayhem in Linkon City would be a man that looks as if he should be on the front page of a fashion magazine.
You have questions you want to ask but you also don’t want Sylus to stare at you right now. The bathwater is therapeutic, and you can feel every knot in your muscles loosening up the longer you sit in the warm water. You also genuinely wish to wash away days of grime you’ve accumulated while in the woods trying to track this man down. Biting the inside of your cheek you reach for a nearby loofah and bath soap before you start quietly cleaning your body. First you begin with your hair and face, to your surprise there’s items used to moisturize and detangle your knotted hair with little to no effort. Next you focus on cleaning your arms, chest, and stomach but you avoid your sternum with fear of applying too much pressure and triggering your Aether Core since you are still unsure what has been the cause of your attacks. After, you place your focus on your calves and thighs before shyly holding the loofa over your untouched mound.
“Go ahead and ask your questions, Kitten.”
After twenty minutes of silence, the man before you finally decides to speak and reopen his eyes as he stares intently at your flushed face. The heat of the water in combination with being under his penetrating stare is enough to cause a subtle red hue to peak across your cheeks. He is fulfilling the second part of the promise he made earlier and is giving you the opportunity to ask him whatever questions you may have but you feel your throat constrict with nerves. It was easy to sit naked in this bathtub with a man who is your enemy when his eyes were closed. But now… Now that his sweltering red glare is on your face and drifting down to the hand you have under water that is still hovering over your untouched mound you feel like a deer caught in headlights.
You don’t want to appear weak, or at least not weaker than what you currently look like as you take a deep breath and then open your mouth to speak. It is not lost on you that Sylus eyes have drifted back up to your face and are zoned in on the plumpness of your lips. “Explain what you meant when you said I am a pawn in a game I do not know the rules to.”
More silence passes between the two of you and for a moment you think that maybe you weren’t loud enough for Sylus to hear your question before he lets out a disgruntled scoff and you watch his chest dramatically rise. “I know your Captain very well. She is a persistent thorn in my side that has been tracking me down for almost a decade and has never come close to finding me.” He pauses before reaching out to grab your arm that’s still ducked underneath the water. Before you can protest, he grabs the loofa from your hand and twirls his finger around, motioning for you to show him your back. “She has never come close… until now. You are – hmph… How do I put this lightly?… You have something that I want but I am not willing to return with you as a prisoner to Linkon City to get it.”
Furrowing your brows together in confusion you comply with his request and turn around to show him your back before biting back a whimper when you feel his hands washing your spine with the loofa. “What do I have that you want?”
Your question hangs in the air as Sylus chuckles slowly before returning to his quiet monk state and continues washing your back. It is impossible to not feel distracted as his calloused but gentle hands slide up and down your back to ensure that every inch of you is clean before sliding the loofa lower down your body until he reaches your tailbone. The moment your body stiffens, and you think he is going to slide the loofa down lower you suddenly feel his breath hovering over your left ear and your back is pressed tightly against his bare chest. Gripping your wrist lightly, Sylus places the loofah back into your hands before placing his hands on your bare waist and dropping his voice to a tantalizing whisper. “What I want from you hasn’t been cleaned yet. Finish, Kitten.”
As the words leave his devilish lips you feel your mind turn to literal mush. Your skin feels hot and not just because of the steaming bathwater the two of you have been sitting in. Suddenly you can feel your nerves shift to a heightened sensitivity and your mind is fighting between running away from the man holding you or staying and seeing where this goes. Like a veil has been torn away you can now feel every breath Sylus releases onto your skin, the expanding of his broad chest behind you, how his fingers are gripping your waist as if he’s done this with you a million times before. And you begin to stiffen up when realization hits you that you are sitting on his lap… his bare lap… with little to no space separating the two of you. And the specimen sitting beneath you next to your core is quite large.
Shifting his thighs wider, Sylus hooks your knees over hip and positions your bodies so that you are completely exposed while sitting on his lap. Grabbing onto your delicate wrist he guides your hand down to your chest and hovers over the one area you refused to clean. You feel confused when he places your hand on your chest and not your untouched cave of pleasure. There is nothing in between your chest that he could possibly want since no one, but your trio back home knows about the Aether Core in your heart. Instead of questioning the red eye devil of seduction you decide to allow him to continue since this is for the greater good of the mission. How he knew you skipped over this part you are unsure since his eyes were closed, at least you thought his eyes were closed. “Tell me when you’ve had enough, and I’ll stop.”
Carefully he guides your covered hand up and down your sternum to wash away any lingering flecks of dirt the bathwater hadn’t washed away. You can feel your breathing shift from small pants to irregular gasp each time he guides your hand to brush over one of your perky nipples before returning to between your chests. Technically he isn’t touching you and is leading your hand on where to touch on your body, but it still feels as if you can feel the heat of his fingertips.
Eventually the loofa in your hands is tossed somewhere in the bathtub as Sylus begins lightly nibbling and licking along  the flesh of your exposed neck as he continues to silently instruct you where to touch on your body. Every controlled flick of a finger, every calculated rub of a thumb, every little thing this man is doing to you is driving you crazy and you want more. You need more.
“S-Sylus… Please…” The desperate need in your voice catches you off guard for a moment. You knew you were feeling like a kitten in heat, but you didn’t know how intense your feelings were until you opened your mouth to beg. To beg your enemy and your fugitive to touch you more to ease the rising tension in your lower stomach.
When you decide to beg for more Sylus simply smiles and bites down onto your neck in a way that will leave a pretty bruise. You have no idea how you are going to justify your actions to your trio back home but that’s another problem for future you to deal with in the future. At this point the future version of yourself might create a time machine just to punish the past version of yourself and all the reckless choices you have been making.
“You haven't finished cleaning yourself, Kitten.” While still guiding your hand, Sylus leads you down your stomach back inside of the bath water and past your belly button as the anticipation grows stronger. Inch by inch you can feel yourself become wetter even though you are sitting in a tub of water and Sylus is able to tell as well when he inhales a strained groan the moment your controlled fingertips brush over your folds.
Although Sylus has tried to not directly touch your skin and to only guide your hand where he wants you to be touched, you can feel his fingertips slide away from your hand to brush against your heated skin each time your fingers travel along the needy heat between your thighs. The breathing between the two of you is in sync and is filled with lust and desperation. There is no more denying the physical attraction you two feel with each other as you feel his hardening member that’s now been shifted between your plump ass cheeks twitch each time his finger brushes along your slit.
Biting down on your lower lip you watch through the now murky bathwater that’s finally started to grow cold as Sylus teases you to the point you are now wiggling around in his hold eager for more. He’s finally given up on controlling your hand and has decided to touch you with his own fingers. Each touch from him is too much but also not enough as he purposely avoids touching your sensitive pearl.
Before you can open your mouth to complain Sylus swiftly picks you up and carries your naked body with him back to his bedroom. Because of his lengthy height it only takes him a few strides before reaching his bed and  you are gently tossed down onto his four-poster bed dripped in silk sheets.
While laying on your back and staring up at Sylus with a heated gaze he wastes no time with talking before lavishing your neck in kisses and bites. It’s as if he wants to mark you the way an animal would to prove that their mate belonged to them and only them. All the way down your neck Sylus ensures there isn’t an inch of your skin he hasn’t claimed for himself before shifting his attention to your unattended breast. Taking the left one into his waiting mouth and rolling your right nipple between his thumb and pointer finger you can’t believe you are already close to the edge from just light teasing and nipple stimulation. You want so badly to finally reach your peak, but you don’t want to finish with just this as you place your hands on his head and gently push against him to signal you want him to go lower.
Letting out an annoyed growl Sylus eyes flash to a dangerous shade of red before he pushes your hands away from his head and positions himself over your body while tightly holding your wrist down against the mattress beneath you. “If you wish for us to continue there are a few rules you need to follow, Kitten. Break them and I’ll escort you and this needy little cunt of yours out of my home. Understand?”
The sudden switch in behavior causes you to nervously swallow as you stare up at Sylus. You are used to your trio of men dominating you in their own way in the bedroom and find comfort in submitting to them. But something about submitting to the red eyed devil of seduction seems like it would bring you more than comfort. Something is clawing inside telling you that submitting to this man is second nature to you and you should do it before he becomes annoyed and refuses to touch you. Staring deep into his glowing right eye you bite your swollen bottom lip before nodding shyly. “Yes, sir. I understand.” 
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nahoney22 · 7 months ago
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Respite 🌊
🫧 Pairing: Hunter X Gender Neutral Reader
word count: 750+
Prompts: None
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4,500 Follower Request
Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Hunter comes home to Pabu and needs just a little reassurance from the one he loves.
Warnings: Safe for Work, Gender Neutral Reader, Comfort & Reassurance, Established Relationship, Kisses & Hugs, Short and Sweet.
Authors note: My first request for 4,500. Thank you 🩶
Divider by @plum98
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You eagerly awaited your partners' return to Pabu, basking in the warm sun near the landing dock until the familiar sight of the Marauder appeared on the horizon. As the ship fully landed, you rose to your feet and made your way towards the gangplank, your anticipation tempered by the unexpected wave of tense expressions.
Addressing Wrecker, you inquired, "What's wrong?" His response—a heavy sigh and a shake of the head—was uncharacteristic, setting off a sense of unease within you.
When Hunter finally emerged, you approached him with a concerned gaze, watching as he removed his helmet to reveal a weary face. "What happened?" you asked, your heart skipping a beat at the hint of trouble.
"The mission didn't go as planned," he grumbled, his words sending a shiver down your spine. "We encountered unexpected resistance from a new local militia. It was… a close call." He sighs heavily.
"Are you all right? Is anyone injured?" you hurriedly voiced your concern, relieved when he reassured you that they were all unharmed, though clearly in need of respite.
Understanding his need for rest, you suggested, "Let's find a place to unwind then, hm?" Offering your hand, you led him to a secluded spot overlooking the serene ocean.
You sat beside Hunter in comforting silence as the sun began its descent, casting a warm, orange glow over the landscape. The tranquil moment allowed him to open up about the burdens weighing on his shoulders.
"It's been hard. Without..." Hunter's voice trailed off, the weight of his unspoken words hanging heavily in the air. You understood the depth of his loss, the absence of their fallen comrade that gnawed at him. "I should have been more prepared for this," he confessed, frustration evident in his tone.
Gently, you placed a reassuring hand over his, feeling the tension slowly ease beneath your touch. "All of you have been through a lot, Hunter. You can't let this shake you," you murmured softly, leaning your head on his shoulder as he pulled you closer, seeking solace in your presence.
He nodded, the weariness evident in his expression. "I know. I'm just so tired. This whole thing with Omega, this war... I thought we were free. I thought I could be a better brother-."
"Stop," you interrupted gently, halting his self-doubt before it could consume him. "You are doing the best you can. Your brothers and Omega could not ask for anything better from you," you reassured him, though the weight of your words took a moment to sink in.
Turning to you, Hunter searched your face for a moment, his expression softened by gratitude. "You really have a way with words."
You raised an amused brow, a faint smile playing on your lips. "I hope that isn't sarcasm, Mister."
He chuckled, intertwining his fingers with yours and bringing your knuckles to his lips, planting a gentle kiss upon them. "Not at all," he replied before leaning in, stealing a lingering kiss. "Thank you. For everything you do."
You smiled against his lips before resting your head against his, a hand coming up to rake your fingers through your hair. “I have an idea,” you started, leaning back slightly to gauge his reaction.
“And what’s that?” he asked, curiosity evident in his tone.
“How about I go speak to Shep and see if he has an apartment available for us to stay in for the night?” you suggest, your eyes bright with anticipation.
Hunter furrows his brow in thought. “What's wrong with staying on the ship?”
“Nothing,” you reply with a warm smile, “I just think that maybe I could make us a nice meal, run you a bath, or we could just chill. Take some time off together?”
Suddenly, a genuine smile breaks out onto Hunter’s lips, the tensions he previously carried visibly melting away at the prospect of a peaceful evening. This is exactly what he needed.
“I’d love to… but what about the others?”
“They are more than welcome to join us, Hunter,” you assure him, your voice laced with affection. “I’m sure Wrecker would appreciate a homemade meal again, even though Pabu has fed him pretty well.”
Hunter's shoulders relax as he takes you up on your offer, the weight of the day already feeling lighter. That evening, surrounded by the comforts of a cozy apartment, all the troubles seem to fade away. With lots of cuddles and sweet loving kisses, as long as he had you by his side, Hunter knew you would always make him feel better.
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Masterlist
Hunter Works
Requests Currently Open
Tags: @green-alm0nd @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @captxin-rex @jesseeka @theroguesully @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone @ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog @chrissywakingup @pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87 @ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino o @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi @greaser-wolf @tinyreadersmur @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420 @ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @imalovernotahater @id-rather-be-a-druid @the-bad-batch-baroness @lulalovez
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dreamofjoys · 1 month ago
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DAY 3 — Hate Sex
Characters: Blade (HSR), Al haitham (Genshin)
C/W: afab/fem reader, hate / rough sex, biting
Please read my main masterlist post before proceeding
Kinktober Masterlist
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♡ Blade (HSR) ♡
You had never liked Blade, neither does he like you either. If someone told you that you and Blade will be making out together, you would laugh in their face and call them stupid. However, it seems like you are the stupid one in your current predicament. You were laying on your stomach on a table, legs spread open as your hater fucks his cock into you from behind. “I-I thought you ha-hated me,” You stuttered on your words each time Blade thrust himself into your womanhood. His balls slapping on your ass and cock nestling inside you has managed to provide a sense of high into your brain. Blade doesn’t respond to your question. Instead, the stellaron hunter chooses to lean down and bite on the back of your neck. You yelped in response, surprised at the sudden gesture. Blade only smirks when he feels your walls clenching down on his cock tight and hard. He resumes back to pounding his cock into your pussy, making sure to hit onto the most sensitive spots that got you crying before fully pulling out, letting your needy hole clench onto nothing but cold air, letting you feel how empty you are without. He repeats this cycle for the next few hours, not caring if it’s too much for you.
Blade hates you. He hates that you always make his cock hard and unattended. You have never spared him any attention, which got him desperate for you even more – even though he makes sure to make it seem like he purely hates you for no reason to avoid the embarrassment of being discovered that he was getting horny over you. Maybe only by fucking you this hard, you can feel his pain of his cock being lonely and needy all this time. But Blade wonders if you actually hate him, seeing as to how you are gripping onto the edges of the table with your life, wantons of moans spilling out from your lips as you let the person that you “hate” spilt you apart with his cock.
♡ Al Haitham (Genshin) ♡
There’s a purpose in everything that Al haitham does. Whether its to read a book, researching on difficult topics or eating a meal, this man has always been doing things that are within his own benefits and interest. Despite being classmates, you weren’t close to the aloof and arrogant scribe. In fact, you hated his “I know everything” attitude — although he is in fact correct about it. Perhaps you were simply jealous that his nonchalant approach towards studies have made him one of the top scholars in Academy (even though you were working hard and can only manage to barely pass your subjects). Nonetheless, you did not expect the man himself to approach you one day and ask “Wanna fuck?”
You were baffled by the suggestion. Why would he, ask you of all people? Nonetheless, there was this small voice inside you telling you to accept the invitation. Perhaps you were just eager to find out whether the esteemed and highly praised scribe is good in bed too? Damn right he is. Al haitham had you folded in half nicely, pinning your body to his bed as he fucks you with his cock. His movements were rough and ungentle. The bed creaks with every move that he made. The hands that were pinning your waist down starts digging into your skin, his nails no doubt leaving crescent nail marks on you. Everytime Al Haitham thrust himself in, you felt your brain going numb for a millisecond. You did not expect the scribe to be this good at fucking. Is this his first time doing this? Did he do some research before this? Why is it that the man that you hate is giving you the most pleasure right now?
Al Haitham could see the puzzled look on your face, but refuses to address your questions. He continues to fucks himself into you over and over again, letting that sloppy sounds bouncing off the walls show you just how good he is at making your pussy cry for his cock.
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initial-lime · 2 months ago
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These QPR gay cats, double dog dare you mini
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Hand over some of your SFW ocs and ill handle them with care and mspaint
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I wanna do some shitty doodles and see if I can draw peoples characters at equal value, whether it be dragon, furry or humanoid (HUMANS INCLUDED I FORGOR). I am open to trying a mech but there is no promise there sadly, but ill still try.
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archiveofvirtue · 3 months ago
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CASUAL ⸻ dean winchester
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content / dean winchester x fem!oc, slight smut, 18+, mdni, no strings attached, one sided love, oral (fem receiving), 2.2k words
summary / you and Dean kept things strictly casual, but what if deep down you’re longing for more? Was there a way to change things or should everything stay the way it was, destined to end? — inspired by the song ‘Casual’ by Chapell Roan
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DEAN LEANED AGAINST THE HOOD OF THE IMPALA, the night sky sprawling above him like a dark canvas. The air was cool, and a light breeze rustled the leaves on the trees next to the deserted road. The hum of the car's engine had faded into the background, replaced by the quiet stillness of the woods surrounding him. 
He glanced down at his phone, re-reading the text he had sent hours ago. It was simple, like all of you guys' messages: "In town. Meet me?"
No promises, no expectations, just the unspoken understanding that had developed between the both of you over the past few months. You didn't do feelings, nor did you talk about the future.  You just were.
The sound of crunching dried up leaves caught his attention, and Dean looked up to see you walking towards him. You were dressed in a worn leather jacket, dark jeans, and boots that reached up to your calves. Your hair was loose, laying in dark waves over your shoulders, and your expression was a mixture of warmth and guarded distance—exactly what he'd come to expect.
"Hey." you greeted, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you stopped a few feet away from him.
"Hey yourself." Dean replied, straightening up and sliding his hands into his pockets. He noticed the way your eyes softened when you looked at him, but like always, there was a wall there—a barrier neither of you had tried to break through yet.
You leaned against the Impala next to him, gaze drifting to the stars above. "I almost didn't come."
"Yeah?" Dean raised an eyebrow, though he wasn't surprised. "What changed your mind?"
"I don't know." you admitted, voice quiet. "Maybe I wanted to see if you'd actually be here."
"I'm always here." Dean said, but the words felt heavier than he intended. 
Both of you fell into silence, the kind that usually felt comfortable between you, but tonight it was different. It felt like something unspoken was hanging in the air, something that neither of you wanted to address. 
You shifted, crossing your arms over your chest as you stared out at the empty road. "This thing we're doing, it's not... It's not forever, you know?"
Dean nodded, though he could feel the familiar tightening in his chest. "Yeah. I know."
"It's just... casual." you continued, voice faltering slightly. "We're both just... passing through."
There it was—the reality of what the two of you were, what you'd always been. Two hunters living separate lives, occasionally crossing each other's paths when the stars aligned, but never lingering long enough to change your status.
Dean swallowed hard, the words he didn't want to say burning in his throat. "Is that what you want? To keep it casual?"
Your eyes met his, searching his face for something—maybe a sign that he wanted more, maybe a reason to stay. But Dean was an expert at keeping his walls up, and tonight was no different.
"I don't know.." you answered honestly. "It's easier that way. Less messy."
"Yeah." Dean agreed, though the word felt like sandpaper on his tongue. "Less messy."
You let out a soft sigh, gaze dropping to the ground. "But it's not really, is it?"
Dean looked at you, really looked at you, and saw the weariness in your eyes. He knew that weariness all too well—the kind that came from years of fighting, from losing people, from carrying the weight of a world that never seemed to get any lighter.
"It doesn't have to be." he said quietly. 
Your eyes flickered with something—hope, maybe, or fear of it. "What are you saying, Dean?"
Dean hesitated, the words hanging on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to tell you to stay, to give the both of you a shot at something more than this endless circle, more than the empty promises you never made. But that would mean letting you in, breaking down his own walls, and that was something he wasn't sure he could do.
"I'm saying..." he started, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, he reached out, taking your hand in his. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes.
You looked down at your intertwined hands, then back up at him. "Dean..."
"Let's just... be here." he said, his voice rough. "For tonight."
You nodded, a sad smile touching your lips. "For tonight."
You both stood there, hands clasped, two souls bound by the same scars, the same pain, and the same unspoken desire for something more. But for now, you would keep it casual, keep it simple, because that was all you guys knew how to do. Tomorrow, you would go separate ways, back to the lives that never seemed to stop demanding more from you. But tonight, in the quiet solitude of the open road, you had each other. 
And that was enough.
You turned to Dean, heart beating faster, knowing where this was headed but unsure if you were ready for the aftermath. There was something about the way he looked at you tonight, a vulnerability that was rare in a man like him. It pulled at your heart, made you want to dive deeper into whatever this was between you, even if it meant getting hurt.
Dean's hand slid up your arm, his touch warm against the cool night air. When his fingers brushed your cheek, you closed your eyes, leaning into him. It was as if the world outside had faded, leaving just the two of you, alone in this fleeting moment.
"Y/N." Dean whispered, his voice rough and low, like gravel underfoot.
You opened your eyes and saw the conflict in his, the struggle between wanting you and keeping his walls intact. But you also saw the desire, the need that matched your own. It was that need that made you move closer, lips finding his in a kiss that was tender at first, almost hesitant. But as the seconds passed, the kiss deepened, became more desperate, more urgent.
Dean responded in kind, pulling you closer, his hands wandering to your waist, and back, as if trying to memorize the feel of your body, to capture this moment before it slipped away. Your hands tangled in his hair, and for a few blissful moments, the world disappeared completely, leaving only the two of you.
You tumbled back onto the hood of the Impala, Dean's jacket discarded somewhere on the ground, yours following soon after, just like all the other pieces on your body. The cold metal of the car was a stark contrast to the warmth of your bodies, but neither of you cared. You were lost in each other, in the feel of skin against skin, in the way your breaths mingled, in the way your bodys moved together like you'd done a thousand times before.
For a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget everything—your fears, doubts, the uncertainty of what you guys were. You let yourself believe that this was something more than just casual, that maybe, just maybe, this time it would be different.
Falling back onto the black impala you gasped as Dean reached in between your legs, goosebumps spreading all over your body as you let him play with the thin fabric of your blue lace panties. Looking down at him you could see the eagerness creeping out of his eyes, almost stripping you out of the last pieces of lingerie that were covering your body by just staring at you. 
Dean's breathing became ragged, "I need to taste you." 
His words prying through you like lightning as Dean's lips worked their way along your tighs and finally settling his head between them. Two fingers hooked into the waistband, tugging downward, and sliding the already drenched fabric off of your legs and to the ground behind him. 
Cold air striked your wetness as you got exposed, making your legs shake almost immediately. But you didn't care if you were freezing, all you wanted was to enjoy this intoxicating moment with Dean.
"Gosh, seeing you like this is driving me insane." his voice vibrated through you. You held your breath as Dean's head lowered itself. All you could see was his messy hair poking out from between your legs, before warmth spread through your core, leaving you moaning out his name. 
The taste of you made Dean growl, creating a rhythm to match your moans. His tongue flattened against you, licking a stripe up between your folds until he pressed against your clit, a horribly whiny sound escaping your lips when he began sucking around the nub, like he was trying to pull the life out of you. Your hips jolted, unable to go anywhere as he had you pinned down.
As his tongue continued to roll against your sweet spot you felt some tightness building in your lower belly. It was a matter of seconds before you couldn't take it anymore and released all over his tongue.
"Fuck.." Dean mumbled against your cunt, his voice vibrating against your sensitive skin before pulling away and wiping the corner of his lips with his shirt.
You immediately pulled him down to your lips by his collar, tangling both of you into a deep kiss. His hands were roaming around your chest and neck, every touch of his burning through your skin, lingering there for what felt like an eternity.
But soon Dean's kisses grew slower, less intense, and his touch, once so sure and eager, began to falter. You could feel him pulling away, even as he held you close. The cold metal of the car pressed against your back was nothing compared to the chill that was starting to settle in your chest.
When it was over, you layed there for a while, breaths still heavy, but the silence between you two now filled with something else—something unspoken and heavy. You got onto your elbows to look at Dean, hoping to find some reassurance in his eyes, but what you saw made your heart sink.
Dean was staring up at the sky, his expression distant, closed off. The vulnerability you'd seen earlier was gone, replaced by the familiar mask he wore so well. He was retreating into himself, shutting you out, just like he always did.
"Dean?" You whispered, voice trembling with the weight of unasked questions.
He didn't respond right away, his gaze still fixed on the stars. When he finally turned to look at you, his eyes were colder, more guarded. "Yeah?"
The single word felt like a punch to your gut. You bit your lip, trying to keep the disappointment from showing. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." he said, but the words were hollow, the warmth you both shared just moments ago long gone. He pulled away, getting up and running a hand through his hair. "We should get going. It's late."
You sat up too, the chill of the night air seeping into your bones. You wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling exposed, vulnerable. "Right. Of course."
You watched as Dean grabbed his jacket and shrugged it on, avoiding your gaze. The intimacy you'd shared seemed to dissolve into the night air, leaving behind an awkward tension that you didn't know how to break.
"Dean..." you started, but the words caught in your throat. You didn't know what to say, how to bridge the widening gap between the two of you.
He turned to you, his expression unreadable. "It is what it is, Y/N. You know that, right?"
Your heart sank further, the reality of his words hitting you like cold water. It is what it is. Casual. No strings, no promises, no emotions. Just two people using each other to fill a void that neither of you wanted to acknowledge.
"Yeah.." you replied, forcing a smile that didn't reach your eyes. "I know."
But the truth was, it hurt more than you wanted to admit. Because for all your talk of keeping things casual, you'd hoped—foolishly—that maybe this time it would be different. That maybe, just maybe, Dean would let you in. 
But he didn't. And as he started the Impala's engine, the rumble of the car filling the silence between you two, you felt a hollow ache in your chest. You'd let yourself get too close, let yourself believe in something that wasn't there. And now, you were left feeling used, like you were just another stop on Dean Winchester's endless road.
As the car sped down the empty highway, the night stretched out before you, vast and unforgiving. You leaned your head against the window, the cold glass a harsh reminder of the distance between you guys. You didn't say anything, didn't push for more, because you knew it was futile.
Dean was a man with walls so high they were almost impenetrable, and you were just another traveler passing through. The thought should have been enough to protect your heart, to keep you from getting hurt. But as you closed your eyes, feeling the sting of unshed tears, you realized it wasn't.
Because despite everything, you wanted more. And that was the cruelest irony of all.
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feedback and requests are greatly appreciated !!
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initial-lime · 3 months ago
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