#humorous phrases

[ivystorm1]

"Are you head over heels" Yeah that's how standing works

[rogueslove]

Logans Turkey Run by By Ninjasmacks

[puppppppppy]

mascot

[gammija]

mag186, aka 'we made a character so averse to being honest and sharing openly that the only way he'll verbalise what he's really thinking is if it's literally to himself and only after being strong-armed into it for 10 minutes'

[maybemewlyn]

Love is to die, why did you not die?

[wannawrite999]

[binabadaboom]

it just gets my goose when posts line up like this lol

[exasperatedoctopus]

Quark: why won’t Sisko sign off on this wildly profitable deal?

English Odo: Because he doesn’t like you

French Odo: Becuase he doesn’t carry you in his heart

Me:

[kindred-spirit-93]

spooky stuff

howdy yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) and idk what im doing with my life any more. bold of me to assume that i ever did. in other news:

my latest hyperfixation so to speak is watching daz play through horror games lol i have no idea why its so entertaining but it is. the jumpscares be jumpscaring and i dont have to do any of the work to play so its a win win!

im currently sick to my stomach after watching one lol buuuuuuut i also have a new short story idea hehe!! is more comedic, and honestly seems to me more doable than the falcon & flower.

f&f really deserves better writing lol and ive been thinking how to make it a sensible length without cutting out too much lore that it gets watered down, but at the same time i cant afford the time or braincells to mentally write and im kinda stuck. so idk maybe ill work on chapters that eventually lead somehwere? ill get back to it as soon as my latest batch of braincells hatch 👍

--

til then lol this new idea is still halfbaked but it made me laugh so here yall go: broke uni student moves to be closer to campus. finds super cheap place to rent and its literally the perfect fit. knowing her luck all too well mc goes and checks the place out, bc surely theres something amiss.

nope! everything as far as her untrained eye can tell is normal and accurate to the advertising, its just that someone died there and lots of people werent comfortable with that. and its no problem for her so she takes it.

after a lil housewarming party consisting of her and her parents lol, some thrifted furniture and an unholy amount of rugs and blankets, mc begins to settle in and all that jazz. her marks are going up, shes sleeping better, its all great. until it isnt

weird stuff keep happening around the property and shes like oh. okay? and moves on. (unbothered queen. we stan)

quick detour; idk how well id be able to write considering this may be my first project, but it would be hilarious i think if shit got progressively weirder and more insane and shes like: *sips apple juice* welp. ive got a quiz tomorrow aint got time for this. or eh that kid had it coming or better yet: is that kite just suspended there? oh would you look at that it caught fire in mid air. cool. i honestly dont know which is funnier

boom the house is haunted. something, or rather someone, has been leaving her signs in the bathroom using the soap, moving around the plates and cutlery, ruining perfectly good upholstery (THAT WAS 73% OFF). its a huge invasion of her privacy and shes having none of it. also she doesnt believe in paranormal nonsense. this is more of an inconvenience to her than anything else. she yells at whatever the fuck is in her walls to show themselves before she contacts HOA >:(

with a pop a very pissed off ghost materialises muttering something about no need for escalations and that bitch gwennifer. she makes the ghost clean up the stuff they knocked over and what have u. and then shenanigans ensue i guess lol

--

this whole story started with me coming up with a scene where mc makes like direct eye contact with the ghost and plays ayat al kursi. it was significantly funnier in my head but the mental image stuck.

also just for kicks she throws (half assedly) some zamzam water at the ghost and it goes right through them. guys do you see my vision?

--

"i am here to make your life a living hell.

so not halal mode

one to match the gruesome horrors that lead to my demise...

brotha eugh

...so that my soul can finally be laid t- are you even listening to me??"

authubillah we have seen the evidence

"??????"

--

memes for the soul. ill get back to this maybe perhaps one day. goodnight its one am lol and i have a long day ahead of me tmrw :')

the post from the tags lol >:]

[calistra1star]

if you reblog this easier if you do words just say "yes"

i will give you a catchphrase or just a phrase that i think relates to your blog.

[sincerely-sofie]

*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*

enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.

[infiniteorangethethird]

"you must be fun at parties" well the joke's on you cuz I don't. go to parties

[cloudbends]

Not being a native english speaker can be very frustrating for a myriad of reasons, because I'll hear a simple and common phrase like "catching strays" and fully understand what it means contextually, but then have to find out what it refers to is a person catching stray bullets (insults) and not a person being forced to catch. stray cats. as a form of insult. but actually that might just be me being fucking stupid.

[phraseoscarsan]

Creía que con pensarte todos los días del año, la ley de atracción haría el resto...

Te pensé los 365 días, no falle a ninguno, y al final quede así:

[wannawrite999]

[the-haunted-office]

( @foxedthecards - Continued from here!)

Thursday swears she isn't always looking for trouble - not that the person she finds standing there clearly crying despite his oncoming protests trouble, per se - but she somehow always manages to find it. Or happen upon it. Or it finds her. Or it happens upon her. One of these things.

Whichever. She and this troublesome thing-

Wait, no, that doesn't sound right either. He's not some troublesome thing. That's awfully impolite, isn't it? How could he possibly be some troublesome thing if he's just standing there, looking at his phone, and crying? Maybe he's just crying about some really cute baby animals or something? Or someone just died? And should any of that be troublesome to Thursday?

She should just mind her own business. Minding her own business would be the best idea in this situation. This guy doesn't need her, a stranger, coming up to him and asking him stupid questions like, "ArE yOu OkAy?", when he's probably just discovered he's lost a bunch of money to some online scam or something. She should just keep onnnnnnn moving.

Except.

She doesn't.

Because Thursday is not like that.

Especially when she believes someone is upset.

And so, she does the very Thursdayest thing a Thursday can do. She stops nearby this crying person, leans over into his field of vision, and quite blatantly asks him if he's okay.

And when he gives her the very obvious answer any person would give a total stranger, she smiles brightly. "Okay! I'm sorry if that was rude of me to ask, by the way, but it's just that I was walking by and thought you looked really upset and wanted to make sure. I didn't mean to pry or anything. I mean, I hope I'm not prying, we're total strangers from each other and you don't have to tell me anything, but if you're feeling unsafe or anything, just know that you aren't alone, and whatever it is that's happening, some day, at some point in the indistinct future, it's going to be okay. The universe has a way of working these things out. And if you happen to be of some kind of religious affiliation then, ah, I'm sure that whichever deity you worship will work it out for you, yeah?"

As she says the last of her pep talk, Thursday gives Jonas a big ol' thumbs up for good measure.