#humorous phrases

[ivystorm1]

"Are you head over heels" Yeah that's how standing works

[rogueslove]

Logans Turkey Run by By Ninjasmacks

[puppyeared]

mascot

[purpurussy]

i’m really glad to see everyone saying that overall the show was amazing. i think because they made the bold choice to really go for it. like the boxing thing or the theories iceberg or the doll humping (can’t believe that’s a real thing i just said oh god) could’ve gone cringe if they hadn’t just fully committed to it. i knew i’d love it regardless but it’s sooooooo great to hear that it really was just a great fucking (heh) time. i’m that much more excited for my show now

Real it was SO GOOD!!! I have to be honest I was mentally preparing for it to be a bit cringe dsdfhkl but it really wasn't at all. My friend described it as having the exact right level of self-awareness, which I think was really accurate. They fully committed to everything, it felt like they were having a great time being on stage too! There were so many moments that made me genuinely laugh out loud, it was an incredible show and I really wanna see it again

[gammija]

mag186, aka 'we made a character so averse to being honest and sharing openly that the only way he'll verbalise what he's really thinking is if it's literally to himself and only after being strong-armed into it for 10 minutes'

[maybemewlyn]

Love is to die, why did you not die?

[binabadaboom]

it just gets my goose when posts line up like this lol

[wannawrite999]

[exasperatedoctopus]

Quark: why won’t Sisko sign off on this wildly profitable deal?

English Odo: Because he doesn’t like you

French Odo: Becuase he doesn’t carry you in his heart

Me:

[calistra1star]

if you reblog this easier if you do words just say "yes"

i will give you a catchphrase or just a phrase that i think relates to your blog.

[sincerely-sofie]

*skitters up to you on all fours with a bunch of drawings in my mouth* *drops them at your feet* *skitters away*

enjoy some schizophrenia / psychosis / mental health-based humor.

[infiniteorangethethird]

"you must be fun at parties" well the joke's on you cuz I don't. go to parties

[phraseoscarsan]

Creía que con pensarte todos los días del año, la ley de atracción haría el resto...

Te pensé los 365 días, no falle a ninguno, y al final quede así:

[the-haunted-office]

( @foxedthecards - Continued from here!)

Thursday swears she isn't always looking for trouble - not that the person she finds standing there clearly crying despite his oncoming protests trouble, per se - but she somehow always manages to find it. Or happen upon it. Or it finds her. Or it happens upon her. One of these things.

Whichever. She and this troublesome thing-

Wait, no, that doesn't sound right either. He's not some troublesome thing. That's awfully impolite, isn't it? How could he possibly be some troublesome thing if he's just standing there, looking at his phone, and crying? Maybe he's just crying about some really cute baby animals or something? Or someone just died? And should any of that be troublesome to Thursday?

She should just mind her own business. Minding her own business would be the best idea in this situation. This guy doesn't need her, a stranger, coming up to him and asking him stupid questions like, "ArE yOu OkAy?", when he's probably just discovered he's lost a bunch of money to some online scam or something. She should just keep onnnnnnn moving.

Except.

She doesn't.

Because Thursday is not like that.

Especially when she believes someone is upset.

And so, she does the very Thursdayest thing a Thursday can do. She stops nearby this crying person, leans over into his field of vision, and quite blatantly asks him if he's okay.

And when he gives her the very obvious answer any person would give a total stranger, she smiles brightly. "Okay! I'm sorry if that was rude of me to ask, by the way, but it's just that I was walking by and thought you looked really upset and wanted to make sure. I didn't mean to pry or anything. I mean, I hope I'm not prying, we're total strangers from each other and you don't have to tell me anything, but if you're feeling unsafe or anything, just know that you aren't alone, and whatever it is that's happening, some day, at some point in the indistinct future, it's going to be okay. The universe has a way of working these things out. And if you happen to be of some kind of religious affiliation then, ah, I'm sure that whichever deity you worship will work it out for you, yeah?"

As she says the last of her pep talk, Thursday gives Jonas a big ol' thumbs up for good measure.

[artbyblastweave]

I find this one from The Onion really interesting because half the gag here is that they're usually more complicated than this. I laughed out loud at this, but there's a level on which this isn't really a good joke in a vacuum. "Our political enemy eats children" is not, like, a complicated or novel swing to take. It's not outside the overton/poe window for an actual accusation someone might make for real about a politician. And if this came from a non-Onion, Onion-inspired satire site, it would feel like they were badly grasping at straws.

But I didn't encounter this in a vacuum- I encountered this while scrolling, where this is juxtaposed against a bunch of articles that are dependent on wordplay or "spot-the-imposter" elements inserted into otherwise plausible headlines. For me, the naked, straightforward over-the-top libel hits like a truck when I've primed myself to have to think about the headline for a second. This feels like the digital analogue to something that I remember the printed editions used to let them do; when you've got a physical layout on paper, you can wedge in some hammerblow gags like this as tertiary headlines in the sidebar, made more impactful because of how something so brazen is downplayed in its placement.

[pigswithwings]

jpe g what does smiles so sneetly mean ☹️ hashtag mystified

the sneet sniler