#humor is subjective

[okaytosave]

Lestat: *teasing* “Mon Louis, I literally brought you into eternal life—your every mood swing is my symphony.”

Louis:

[idiiiiiiiiiiidit]

Anyway, anyone who takes the time out of their day to shit on snapcube for making the sonic fandubs, and the people who like snapcube for being "fake fans", on a regular basis are genuinely so pathetic lmao

Like why is there an "anti-snapcube" tag?? Why is there a tag made for the sole purpose of making fun of Penny???

[prowerprojects]

Sonic-verse social media thread:

Tails: Any recommendations for potted plants? I move between my places often but I can set up an automated hydration system.

Sage: With your intellect... I would have thought you would know how to find the answer by yourself...

Tails: Could you STOP responding like that everytime I ask for advice?

Sonic: if she keeps annoying you why don't you just block her?

Sage: Hello, Sonic.

Sonic: hi Sage

Tails: I've tried, but it's not easy. You know Eggman owns this site right?

Sonic: what??? then why are we still using it?

Amy: It's hard to leave after using it for years :(

Tails: I just like to keep an eye on things.

Sage: With your intellect... I would have expected you would figure out how to block me already...

[sorrygotthesesacks]

Felt like sharing some out of context lines from various fics across various fandoms here on Tumblr.

Apologies to the three people who follow me here and on That Other App who have seen this before, but how else will my handful of Tumblr followers realize how hilarious I am? 😋

Some of the excerpts are a little crude (or canon typically violent, since most are from JJBA Part 5). Some are from AUs.

Proceed at your own risk. 💀

“Fugo’s like the diet version of your dad, Gio.”

“It’s just…who will think of the Cuties. That’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard all day.”

“I suppose I’d better go with you to make sure you don’t fall down a manhole or something.”

Hopefully, Mr. Brando hadn’t recognized Fugo with his wig and makeup and red clown nose glued to his face, or it was going to be very awkward the next time Fugo showed up for his internship.

Dio looked as if Giorno had whipped out his dick and pissed on the floor.

“I would fucking love to, Fugo, but there’s nowhere for me to fuck off to, now, is there?”

Giorno was singlehandedly keeping the ladybug brooch manufacturing industry in business.

Mista couldn’t help laughing, which led to Fugo saying fuck you to Mista and Mista’s dead relatives, along with those of his grandfather, his mother, and three-quarters of his apartment block.

Fugo looked bored. Or pissed. Or constipated. It was hard to tell.

It was the fact that they could do shit like stab one another with plastic utensils and still want to hang out afterwards that made their relationship so solid.

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen you looking less than perfect, ya know. I’ve seen you armless.”

Abbacchio and the Sprites. Sounded like a cover band in a dive bar with no cover charge but a two-drink minimum.

“Goddamn fucking dollar bill! Why did you do this to me?”

One of the last missions the two of them were on together had resulted in a little casual torture.

“So I'm sorry I was a jerk and threw my boobs at you."

Ghiaccio was a wild card. He might jump into the fight to help, or he might notice someone was wearing a t-shirt with a bad pun on it and fly into a rage about what was wrong with it. It was hard to say.

And last but not least, this excerpt from my “500 words of nothing but dialogue” disaster:

“Giorno’s not laughing, though.”

“Was I supposed to? Guido, ask me again so I can respond appropriately this time.”

(Why does this Giorno line remind me of Silver? Now I really do kinda wanna make Silver’s birth name “Giorno” and not just because of my Vento Aureo Sleeping Beauty parody.)

[thelittlestpika]

Random person: I don't think your joke is funny. :/

Me: Good thing I'm both the king and the jester. I'm my own target audience and I find myself hilarious.

[okaytosave]

@sillyvampireboi Thought you might appreciate this monstrosity. (I don’t have a photo editor outside of the basic stuff.)

look I found a picture of Armand

[castles-in-the-eyre]

a little fall of rain (colorized)

[wonderful-emoji]

Playing with emoji kitchen is so fun because there are some cool and beautiful and great moodboard stuff but i always find something that cracks me up. Like the neutral throwing up face or the thumb-snail or Unicorn Yam or Lungs Naruto. Anyway, can we get some of the emojis you’ve saved that are the funniest to you?

[ilikedirt-04672]

the only correct answer

math is blue

English is yellow

Science is green

Social studies is whatever color is left

[hum-tittle]

I know it's not always sexual. But it is a term of endearment for a father. So it's still funny that he refers to Lucifer as "daddy" in that context, too!

Also, even though he didn't mean it in a sexual way, it's still funny, like whenever the answer is 69 (nice) or when someone says "duty."

I haven't seen anyone talk about the fact that Alastor canonically calls Lucifer "Daddy"

[ghurab-alzilal]

Raven, holding a plastic skeleton and maneuvering it like a puppet : Do you want to hear a Halloween joke?

Damian: ... I thought Halloween was about fear, not about-

Raven, abruptly interrupting : What is a marble skeleton?

Damian: ...

Raven: A skull -pture! Ha ha ha ha! You get it? Because it has a skull y that sounds similar to-

Damian: *deadpan *

Raven, dropping the decoration : You know what? Forget it, my joke is good, you just haven't entered the spirit.

Damian, raising eyebrow : What spirit? The one with the joke you just killed? He-he you kill the joke and now it's a spirit...

Raven: *squints at him in fury *

[okaytosave]

Not Lestat de Lioncourt with a Magic 8-ball answer to Armand and Louis’s fire gift.

“I have to be willing and I’m not in the mood.”

[podcast-hemocytoblast]

*saunters up to the Distortion, batting eyelashes* damn, are you a system of differential equations with complex eigenvalues for which the real part is possitive? because you sure are spiral and unstable 🥰

[nyajiang-irl]

is too

im so tempted to make a wish. i know its bad but its tempting

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

i can just imagine childe beating the abyss’ will down with a stick whenever it tried to make him take on a new form like it’s a particularly bad dog

genuinely unsure how to answer this ask because on the one hand yes, that's kinda funny and it would indeed be something like that had the abyss essentially come back to him time and time again like 'new form? 😳' and childe would've slapped it away like 'no!!!' like some sort of shitty spam email that lands on your regular inbox without fail, BUT

uh

the abyss only wanted him to take on one form. in cyanide that form was the foul legacy, and to be frank childe did take it. he just refused to remain with that form. and also like- for it to have reached the 'haha the abyss is like an insistent dog' status, it would've had to have been-

not agonizing. like i get the joke but the process of rejecting the abyss' insistence on taking the FL form was not only a one-time process, but also like- nearly cost him his life. so uh.

yeah

[mymangamemes]

I don't think you know what "overlooks" means

From The Lady I Served Became a Master by TabbyStar and sigma