#huh. mustve been the storm.
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partner looking at the damaged dock and deep in denial: must’ve been the wind
sebastian: i am going to throttle you
LMAO u joke but a scene like this happens in chapter two HAHAHA
#star gazing with shay#mothtral#not the sebastian throttling them part but. definitely them looking at the dock and being like.#huh. mustve been the storm.#who i see au
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maverick did you know that in the juggernaut's first appearance the x-men had to get johnny storm to help them deal with him & then charles xavier was like That's awesome johnny thank you so much Anyways if anyone knows the x-men are based out of this school building i dragged you out to we'll literally die So i'm mindwiping you. and then he did & johnny was like Whuh huh why am i in westchester. mustve zoned out. whatever. x-men vol 1 #13
laughed out loud at this thank you. very johnny of him to be like What the .. mustve have been my stable mind at work once again . Oh well
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...ew diary entry. mostly for memory purposes, i guess?? uh.. dunno. warnings: unsanitary mention. uh idk what.. what else to put. sry im.. not good w taggin these kinda things. no one will prob read this anyway except for future me so... who cares, right. it.. doesnt matter.
okay so i tend to have a thing where i’ll wear a single bra forever and ever and i hate when ppl tell me to change it bc like.. it’s well-stretched out, yanno?? most of my other bras r too tight/i need to stretch em out a lot before wearing them or i start going “too tight too tight i think it’s Constricting me oh god” so i Luv my loose ones n i dont wanna get any other bras bc the 2 loose ones i have r comfy sports bras but mom always tells me to change mine bc it’s been “forever since it got washed n it has holes in it” (bc i wear it so much that it has holes oops but i dont mind) n this morning i was dodging the question/saying “whatever im fine” and my mom.. literally snatched my bra off of my bed before i could put it on bc i had just woken up n i was like “GIVE IT BACK” n she was like “no. im gonna throw this out or cut it up” n i was like “UHHH NO UR NOT.” n tried to pull it out of her hands n my hand grabbed some of her hair that was hanging down near the bra too n she was like “stop! tugging on my hair!” n was like “THEN GIVE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK!! i was gonna try to sew it up lter n i can wash it this evening if u want! thats what i did last time was i waited for nana to wash it then put it on at night!” n i was starting to cry
but she finally got me off of the bra and started walking to the bathroom and i thought she really WAS going to cut it up and i was sobbing n i just kept going “STOP! STOP!! DONT DO THIS! PLEASE JUST-” and dad woke up bc his room is right next to mine n mom told dad what was going on and dad told mom to not cut it up but to keep it away from me/have me wear a new bra n that we have to get me new ones (he kept telling me that) n then yelled at me that i was “too attached” to it and it’s become “like my comfort item” and kept telling me that bc i hate change n i keep doing this or w/e n that i brokw down over something as simple as taking away that comfort item/bra he just kept saying “ROX THATS A DISORDER” or “YOU HAVE A DISORDER” idk but he said disorder like 2-3 times n i kept snapping at him and going “shut UP just SHUT UP!!” n i was still crying and out of the corner of my eye i saw mom throw it away and put the garbage bag outside n i went “nonNONONO STOP!” ni insulted dad or something i think bc he kept yelling or being angry n he got angry n got out of bed while i was in my room crying and putting on my other slightly-less-stretched-but-still-stretched bra (thank god i had it)
n dad kept trying to talk to me n i think i insulted him, like i said, n dad was like “you know wht you need? punishment to learn to not talk back like that to me anymore. youve gone your life without being punished so you should get spanked” w/e something liek that n i backed up but i was still against the bed so dad tried to spank me like twice (i was still in my underwear i think tho (since i dotn sleep in pajamas) which.. is kind of uhhh) n on instinct and out of anger i shoved my nails into his arms bc he was behind me and eventually he backed up and i stood completely up n i also remember digging my nails into his hand/fingers but idk when and he looked over at me and told me to stop doing that w my nails (i tend to do it when i get grabbed by the shoulder/arm but this time was Harder) n he dug his fingernails (a lot shorter than mine so it didnt hurt too bad) into my arms n went “huh? how does it feel? not good, right?!” n idk what happened next but my back hit the bed n he was looming over me and he was saying something like “i kno u went to bed at 2 am last night- you’re using my kindness and doing whatever you want. do you think i’m an idiot?” or something like that. i kno he asked if he was an idiot n i curle d my lip n went “maybe.” n maybe somefin else n dad lightly slapped my face n after that was a blur but i remember i was still crying the whole time n dad tried to touch my arm n talk to me while i was doing my makeup n i was snarling n growling at him n telling him “DONT TOUCH ME. I DONT WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU” n kept telling me not to talk like that
n i stormed out of the house witout a goodbye after getting done w makeup n hair n stuff n i quickly went over to the trashcan bc i knew she hadnt shoved my bra deep into the trashbag (n it was the trashbag we dont use too often. it has empty cat litter bags in it n some makeup wipes n other stuff) n i didnt have much time before i had to start walking to my bus stop or i’d be late for the bus n i didnt wanna ask dad or nana for a ride n i was worried thatbc i couldnt find it for a sec n i didnt wanna dig too deep into the trash but then i thought i saw grey/touched something soft n i pulled out! my bra! n shoved it into my backpack n my parents dont kno it’s there or that i did that hhh....
.......n then i wiped away a few tears that were starting back up and mentally played nepeta’s cute theme song in my head while walking to the bus and trying to not think of how much i wanted to die at that moment n stuff n i was p much calm by the time i got to the bus but i kept sniffling n stuff to clear the mucus in my noise ;;;;
also apparently nana mustve heard me crying out and sobbing bc i heard her muffled voice in the bg this morning (bc shes in several rooms away on the other side of the house) n when i called her to let her kno i was on the bus in the afternoon like i normally do, she immediately said “rox are you okay.” like. idek if she said hello before that or not but.. she mustve been worried... idk if dad n mom told her what happened either...
edit: when i got home dad tried to apologize (”im sry it got to the point where i hit you” or w/e or that he didnt wanna do it but i was too bitter n angry so i didnt care abt his effing apology) but i snapped at him again n told him to leave the roo n leave me alone n that i didnt want to talk to me n threatened to talk away m electronics so i tried to snap Less
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