#huge fan of representation even when I kinda forget I need it

[ifeelfreewithoutmyshoes]

I just finished an aromantic-themed anthology and one of the poems was like six lines and had me in tears??

[doctorofmagic]

No one asked but here's some thoughts about Stephen's current and future life.

First of all (and to be completely honest), before Blood Hunt, I do think Stephen was starting to find joy in being the Sorcerer Supreme now that things were seemingly going well in his life.

Just to name a few, he befriended his general self, his marriage was rekindled, Mordo was finally locked down, Clea and Umar were starting to find a common ground (at least, they were not enemies anymore) and Donna II happened, blessing their lives. Stephen was finally thriving. He was executing his duties just fine despite the challenges of being Earth's magical defender. Conflict was obviously expected but it was far from the struggles he faced in v4, for instance. There was optimism.

The fact that he seems sad in that Pasqual's post could be about anything but if I was to predict why, I'd say it's because 1) he didn't want to pass the mantle down at this point in his life and 2) he didn't want to pass the mantle down to Victor specifically because well, it's Doom. And let's be real, Jed's interpretation of their relationship is not similar to T&T or Infamous Iron Man or even Secret Wars. Even if Victor is rarely portrayed as a villain these days (more like an antagonist), there's still a certain dread whenever he shows up in stories. So it's only natural for Stephen to be worried about what's coming next.

Personally, I think Victor will not be a bad Sorcerer Supreme. He's competent and incredibly complex. There's altruism in him, especially when it comes to protect Latverians and people in general (Doom 2099 my beloved). And let's not forget about his dramatic ego and petty personality. If anything, I'd go for a gray representation. He will not be the king of altruism (aka Stephen), but he will not be a shallow villain by desecrating the mantle (something I'm pretty sure Mordo would do. Hate that guy). That said... Oh, he's also in for a big surprise, not expecting the burden that comes with such a huge responsibility. But that's just my two cents. Could always be wrong. However, I still remember when he tried to go after Jericho and gave up as soon as the light of the Eye of Agamotto hit him, so... This idea does have canon support.

(panel merely illustrative; from an alt future/reality)

As for Stephen and Clea, what comes next for them? I know the fandom is desperate for domestic vibes and a peaceful era for them. But let's be real, it's Marvel. Also it's Stephen and Clea. For starters, Clea is still the Warlord of Manhattan, which means that area will remain under her protection, tying her to our dimension. As for Stephen... We know him, right? We know he will never stop doing what he does, Sorcerer Supreme or not. We have tons of magic characters doing their jobs. Even when magic was practically dead, he found a way to keep doing good because it's intrinsic of his personality. And let's not forget Wong and W.A.N.D. They still need someone reliable, and I hardly think they'll go for Victor when consulting all things mystical. Oh, and Strange Academy, of course.

Last but not least, every change in status quo hardly lasts more than a year or two in comic books. It happened so many times before: Salomé, Jericho, Loki, even Clea. It was only natural for Victor's turn, given how T&T is such an important book to their mythos.

As for me? I think it's not really fair for me to share my feelings assuming how much I love both Victor and Stephen. I've seen some unhappy fans (and I can't relate, sorry 🥲) and some excited ones.

The reason I'm still kinda blue is merely due to the lack of new announcements, whether it's a new Doctor Strange book or a mini featuring Victor. Also it's almost certain that Jed is done with his work, which hit me like a train. I really don't want to say goodbye to Jed just yet, and seeing his work continue with Moon Knight while going for the X-books makes me a bit bitter. There's still the possibility that he's staying, but it's all conjecture at this point. I mean, I dread that some bad writer comes next, and boi do I have a no-no list. Hopefully, SDCC will shed some light on these dark times of uncertainty.

Well, that's it. Do I ramble a lot? Was not expecting to write such a long post, sorry about that (old testament me comeback?). Just wanted to write down my thoughts since they were making a mess in my head. If anything, I'll still be around for whatever comes next. After all, my love for Stephen knows no shame 🔥

[jello-in-my-bello]

It’s time that we had a real conversation about Aang...

For the main character of a television series, Aang somehow almost always finds himself under-rated and dismissed in fans’ posts. You see all these posts and, when they do reference him, it’s usually accompanied by the phrases “immature” and “12-year-old boy.” I mean honestly, in some ATLA fans posts, it seems as if Aang’s name is almost synonymous with the word immaturity--and it’s been that way for years. I’ve always wondered why people discredited him. Was it because they saw his age and immediately ruled him out? Is it an excuse for Katara and Aang to have never happened? Was calling him the most immature character a way to bring up their favorite characters? Or did they simply get conditioned to think Aang was immature because everyone just... said he was? Well, I think Aang’s the most mature character (from start to finish) on the show, and Imma tell you why. 

I think that Book 1 Aang is the Aang that everyone has stuck in their head. We get introduced to Aang in a strange way: he’s a boy frozen in an iceberg, and the first thing he asks is to go penguin sledding. Then he boldly explores a fire navy ship after being told it might not be a great idea. This kid’s kinda stupid, we think. Why does he care about penguin sledding? Why does he explore something he is told not to? Then he stops at Kyoshi Island to ride the Unagi, then he stops at Omashu to ride the delivery service, and then he lets the gang stop at other locations—having mini adventures—without worrying about learning waterbending on any sort of timeline. Why does he choose to explore all these different places at first rather than master the four elements? Doesn’t he even care about being the Avatar? Ah... that’s right. He’s only 12. 

Except surmising his entire maturity (or lack thereof) to the fact that he stops for these adventures means that you are ignoring one glaring detail of the show: Airbender and nomad culture. Aang asking Katara to go penguin sledding instead of what year it was and taking his friends to all those random stops in B1 so that he can explore can not be chalked up to immaturity. Because then you are ignoring an entire culture. We don’t get to see a lot of airbenders, and I think that plays into the problem, but from what we do know, we learn that a critical part of their culture is that they travel. A lot. And experience different cultures. A lot. Think about all the different places he’s referenced going to 100 years ago in the series. Then think about all the friends he’s talked about having in these obscure places—and it always sounded like he visited them more than once. Traveling, experiencing different cities, and meeting new people was a part of him and a part of his culture. He wasn’t being a 12-year-old when he stopped to ride the Unagi or the delivery shoots in Omashu, he was being an air nomad

On a similar note, one of Aang’s most notable traits is saying, “Hey, check this out,” excitedly while doing some air bending trick that seems juvenile--like spinning marbles around or doing an air scooter.  People look at him doing this and his previously mentioned traits and go, “Oh, what a kid.” But here’s the thing: we can’t roll our eyes at his persistent need to show people marbles floating in the air or his air scooter. In the episode “Southern Air Temple,” we see Monk Gyatso—an extremely old, wise air bender—throwing cakes on other monks’ heads, and then we’re told throughout the series that Airbenders were known for their playful nature. Airbenders didn’t use their bending the same way other benders do. For example, Waterbenders might show off their skills by creating a giant wave and being like, “Look how cool!” (See: Katara, like every time she learns a new move.) We know Airbenders have some pretty powerful moves--we’ve seen the tornado Aang created, the air body imprint of Aang that slammed Zuko back--but they don’t show off those moves because they’re so combative and not so fun. They show off the good-natured side of air bending (ex: Gyasto’s staff surfing when he was a child).  So those marble/air scooter tricks can’t be watered down to 12-year-old immaturity. Because he’s not being a kid when he does those things, he’s being an Airbender. People also tend to look over the fact that he is a survivor of a genocide. You need to keep in mind that he is a living relic and the only example left of what his race was. So even later in the series when he continues to show people those tricks, he’s showing them not just for fun, but to keep his culture alive. And what do you think he’s going to show them: a tornado with random objects flying around in it or two marbles flying in his hands? Which is a better representation of Airbender culture?

Also, do not forget that Aang earned his arrows. Airbenders are not just regular benders; they are known for being especially enlightened. You don’t just need to be a master at airbending to get your arrows—you also need to be a master at their culture. Aang was an enlightened boi. Look at all the speeches that he gave as the series continued. He didn’t just magically become wise in the course of a few months because he had to fight the Firelord, he just tapped into what was always there and never showed. The maturity was always there, and the receipts are in the arrows. 

So, I’ve gone over why he’s not as immature as everyone thinks, but why do I think he’s the most mature on the show? It’s because his emotional maturity is freaking through the roof. He’s part of a genocide, his culture is mocked, the few things—his clothing and glider—that he had left from his home were completely destroyed, and he had to do something that severely went against what he believes in. And he almost never loses his shit. In fact, we only ever see him get actually upset (we’re not counting the Avatar state cause that’s a whole different thing) 3 times in the series: when he was telling Katara about how the monks wanted to take him away from Gyatso, the episode when Appa was stolen, and when he was explaining that no one understands the position he is in (in terms of killing Ozai). Think about how much we saw everyone else freak out over the course of the show? About even smaller things.

Katara and Zuko are generally accepted as the two most mature characters of the series. But why? Zuko is continuously snapping at everyone, and, yes, he matured. But he is not completely there yet. He still somewhat believes in revenge (See: Southern Raiders), and it’s only at the last episode of the series that he understands violence is not the answer. And Katara? She acts very mature towards everyone else, but when it comes to her own emotions? She’s a whole basket full of mess. (See: Southern Raiders, again. Or anytime she uses anger as her way to show she’s “passionate.”) A good way to showcase the difference between Aang and these two is realizing that all of them lost a parent from the war and analyzing at how they handled it. (For Zuko let’s focus on the idea that he never really had a father) Katara lost her mother, Zuko his father, and Aang his father, Gyatso. Throughout the series, losing their parent was a huge topic point for both Katara and Zuko so much so that it was as if they thought no one else had ever suffered. (Katara, we see you telling Sokka that he didn’t love your mom the same). Aang, however, acknowledges his pain, tells stories of Gyatso and uses him as an example of what he wants to live up to— eventually coming full circle at the end wearing Gyatso’s beads and an identical outfit. I can’t imagine a more mature way to handle what happened than that.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is, maturity isn’t based on how you have fun, it’s based on how you react to hard situations. And nobody, nobody reacted better in those situations than Aang. So if you watched Avatar and thought it was a story about a young boy maturing, then you misjudged. It wasn’t a story about an immature boy growing up. It was a story of an Airbender becoming an avatar. 

[hannawatchesesc]

Kinda a (long) rant about this movie situation.

I have seen a lot of posts (mainly from States) saying that Europeans are way too sensitive about this Fire Saga what ever situation, that the movie should be taken with a sense of humour, and that people from States doesn't even care about our stupid competition (when joked that they made this movie because of jealousy.)

Please note that this isn't the end of the world, or the most pressing issue to be solved, and Eurovision fandom surely knows it. Still, it doesn't change the fact, that this movie wasn't the Eurovision representation we hoped for.

TL;DR in the end

So here me out.

I'm not even ashamed to say, that this Eurovision movie didn't spark a joy in me, and that I'm tired of people who don't understand Europe, and the worth of Eurovision for this continent.

Eurovision is one (1) single thing, that honestly unites Europe. The European Union consists 27 countries, and the whole continent 51. There are about 750 million people living here, and about 450 million in the Union. So obviously the cultural differences here are huge.

These 51 countries includes: one of the most powerful countries in the world, a dictatorship, few countries with worrying state of democracy. Poor countries, rich countries, welfare states, countries which have faced a devastating humanitarian crises and wars no longer than 30 years ago, old countries, and countries not older than 10 years.

Creating unified European identity is really hard, even within the Union. And we are always compared to other parts of the world as the European Union. Sure, it's a great comparison since the Union and the States are approximately same size in population, but this erases the fact that there are 27 independent nation states in the Union with their own norms, laws and leaders. Not to mention, that Europe ≠ European Union.

We don't have sports, politics, religions or even cultures, which could unify whole continet. So to be able to unite it once a year is a miracle, that shouldn't be belittled or say that it is useless.

Eurovision has a long, succesful history of doing this. First contest was held in 1956, to unify war torn continent. Lets not forget, Europe was devided ideologically and politically. Old enemies were suddenly friends, and old friends were now enemies. Many countries were in ruins both literally and figuratively. It's not a small thing if a song contest is able to do this barely a decade after a world war tore through whole Europe, and keeps doing so six decades later.

ESC might be silly and over the top, but it's our silly and over the top. It's one thing Europeans can discuss with each other and everyone can understand the concept. It's a safe platform for marginalized groups to show their art and communities in a very large and public place, and in countries that tries to deny those communities. It isn't only about the music, it's about the possibility to share our cultures as well as be as freely who we are, when not everyone has right to do so in their every day life. Eurovision isn't without a flaws, but it has shown it's commitment to human rights more than once in recent years.

Eurovision is also a few of those things, that is truly ours (and Australians, but you know.) We live in a world full of news about US. Past four years I don't remember a single day reading/watching our national news and not seeing news from across the pond.

Sure US politics have been kinda crazy lately, but I have a hunch, that most of people there cannot tell as much about a European country's (not UK) politics, as Europeans can about US politics. We read, write and post about problematic politics in the States constantly, and worry how their foreign policy desicions will affect our countries.

And it is not just about politics. We watch American movies, tv shows, read American books, eat American foods and follow American celebrities. We use US based platforms; US based companies collect and sell our data. To be able to understand (internet) culture we need to speak English and understand how the States works as a society.

We live in very US centric world right now, that is unavoidable, but I wish Americans would regonise that. There are many issues in US that are not relatable in European countries (example gun violence, or electoral colleges). We have own problems in our countries, and yet we still need to hear about and understand yours all the time, whether we wanted it or not.

Eurovision is one piece of culture that is just European. There is a reason why we don't want Americans to be involved. We don't really care if you don't care, we are going to make these jokes anyways, because we have to care so much about your problems and culture. This is our moment to atleast pretend that US doesn't matter. Once a year we can be in our own bubble without worrying if there is going to be nuclear war next week.

So sure, we are going to be salty and sensitive about this, but it is going to be a big of a deal for like 6 days max. We are going to return to post about BLM, and gun laws and Donald Trump. But I think we have a right to be salty. Some Americans (who don't even care about our stupid competition) made a movie about our thing, made some beginner level mistakes and used the most tired European/Eurovision stereotypes.

Will Farrell maybe great guy and Eurovision fan, but it isn't the same. I know they probably tried their best to make this fun and light, but it wasn't probably the best way to tell about Eurovision for wider audience.

Maybe, just maybe this could have been our movie to make, and our story to tell? There isn't that many European movies about Superbowl, is there?

TL;DR

Living in the US Centric world is really tiring sometimes as we need to learn and understand at least our own countries and US politics and cultures, and stress about said politics' effects on our countries and continent. Beside that, we have our neigbouring countries and European Union to worry about.

Eurovision is one thing that unifies Europe and its vastly different countries. It's okay not to understand it, but being disrespectful about it is just super rude. Europe is full of problematic shit and we know it, but Eurovision isn't one of them, so just leave it alone.

[lunammoon]

The Problem With Hetalia (As told by someone who actually in the fandom until like, 2016)

I'm hoping this post will explain to people who are still into Hetalia why a lot of people have an issue with from the perspective of someone who knows a lot about the show. 

TL;DR: By making the WW2 axis powers come across as a lovable idiot, his serious friend, and the stoic voice of reason, it downplays the serious nature of what the Axis did and seeing as the real-life Axis harmed real-life people, many people have a justifiable huge issue with this. 

I will go more into depth about this under the cut.

A lot of people are talking about how Hetalia is coming back after 5 years and a lot of people are rightfully annoyed at the show. But what I'm seeing is that a lot of the people who are upset are people who clearly haven't watched the show and therefore are unable to explain to people who have watched it why it’s bad. The most that you hear is:

"it glorifies the Axis Powers" (which isn't 100% accurate although the assessment that they are portrayed in a way that makes them seem less bad is accurate) 

"Hetalia Cosplayers wore Nazi uniforms in front of a Holocaust memorial" (which I'd say is more of an issue with fans than the show). 

That is not to say that there isn't an issue with the show, because there really is. But these observations are unlikely to mean much to someone who watches Hetalia. So, in this thread, I'm going to explain why Hetalia is Problematic with the added context perspective of someone who was into the show during most of middle school and until Freshman year of high school. 

I knew the human names, used to jam to "Always With You" and "Pub and Go" and “It’ll Settle Itself Somehow” and “Light my Heart” and “Absolute British Gentleman” and “Mein Gott” and “World Rondo” and “Excuse Me, I’m Sorry” and so, so many more. 

I lost my shit with everyone else when the season 6 ep dropped and Italy danced like he was possessed by a demon. When I hear “ACE” family, I don’t think of Youtubers. I actually took a side on the FruUK vs UsUk debate and if you look in my archive, you can probably find some Hetalia posts that I’m too lazy to delete.

The point here being, I’ve actually seen the show so I know what I’m talking about. This isn’t an outsiders perspective is what I’m saying.

So, let’s get right into it. While technically only seasons 1-2 are officially actually called "Axis Powers" (Seasons 3-4 are called "World Series" Season 5 is "Beautiful World" and Season 6 is called "World Twinkle") WW2 and things relating to the Axis Powers are an important part of every season and appear prominently.

While Hetalia has covered many things from all different time periods, the two most common periods covered are the modern-day and of course, the second World War. The show is Japanese and (I assume) because Japan was on the Axis side, these portions focus more on the Axis Powers of Italy, Japan, and Germany. The Allies do come into play. And while the Allies aren't directly like, evil, which would've been FAR WORSE they've got a kind of Team Rocket-esque thing going on? They're not exactly mustache-twirling villains but they're clear antagonists. Make no mistakes.

I think the deserted Island arc is the best example of the problems many people have with the show.

Take for example, that beach fight. If you've watched Hetalia, you'll know the one I'm talking about. The one that they reused like, 50 times. The Allies are clearly shown as the antagonists/aggressors while the Axis are literally just vibing on a (kinda) deserted island and defending themselves. 

Now, if this was three dudes chilling on the beach and they suddenly got attacked by another five dudes also on the beach who they then fought off until the five attackers ran away that’s be one thing.

The issue is that this is supposed to be a representation of WW2. It's basically saying "oh, Nazi Germany, Imperial Japan, and Fascist Italy were literally just vibing, not bothering anyone when suddenly, the Allies attacked for no reason. Luckily, they (the Allies) retreated because the Allies are Cowardly but they keep coming back and bothering them,". Do you see the issue there? Most of the beach arc seems to be the writer forgetting that these are supposed to be Nations, not a random Italian dude, a German dude, and a Japanese dude.

“Oh, but they don’t glorify Nazi Germany. They don’t really even talk about what Germany was doing! Look at this pic of Germany in a lab coat holding a dandelion :)“

That’s not the defense that you think it is and it’s actually a main part of the issue that I, and many other people have with Hetalia.

I think the scene where this issue is the most obvious is the one where they are gathering around a campfire and talking and one of them comes up with the name "the Axis". The whole scene has the same energy characters in a moe anime coming up with a band name.

They’re sitting on a beach at night. I think there might’ve been a campfire, the stars are out, and the three of them talk about their dream of making a world that revolved around them. One of them comes up with the name “the axis” and then they all talk about how you would translate "axis" in their language. It’s all very found family-esque. The way the scene is framed is to encourage you to route for them to reach their goal. It’s the same kind of tone you’d see in a shoujo with a girl telling her friends about how she wants to win the singing competition no matter what or in Sword Art Online when Kirito talks about saving Asuna.

The issue is that their goal isn’t to win some competition or to save someone they care about. It’s to spread facism, imperialism, and bring about genocide.

There of course don’t SAY that that’s their goal, and outside of a one off line in the English dub that’s been since censored, they don’t really bring up what Germany was up to during WW2 vis-a-vie the Holocaust and if they did bring it up, I either wasn’t paying attention, it was in the manga, or it was in one of Germany’s character songs.

The issue is that during WW2 the show seems to at best forget and at worst, gloss over it that the main trio that they're focusing on are the villains. And not like, fantasy villains. Actual real-life villains that hurt real people in the real world. Imagine if instead of Ludwig Beilschmidt and Feliciano Vargas, it was Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini. 

Are you seeing the problem yet?

I get why people like to watch the show. Ignoring the WW2 bits, it’s actually pretty good. I, as an American, really like Alfred F. Jones and the way he’s portrayed.

If Hetalia had stuck to non-WW2 related things such as that episode where the nations all talk about how horror movies differ in their nations, or they talked about their Christmas traditions. Or the ones where America and Japan are roommates. Or when they showed that time when America airdropped XL condoms on Russia labeling them as "small" for intimidation reasons. Or that series of episodes where they talked about Micronations. Or that time they all had to come together to fight aliens. Or the bit where they talked about the WW1 Christmas Armistice. Then it would be fine.

The issue is that they didn’t.

If they kept WW2 stuff for SOME reason. They had two options. 

Make the axis as proper villains

 Be explicit in showing that the nations will doesn't reflect what their leader wants. 

The first option wouldn’t be ideal if they wanted to cover any time period other than World War 2. The axis would be too unlikable and I doubt that an anime where Japan is the villain would appeal much to Japanese audiences.

But what about the second option. Have a bit where Ludwig is passing out White Rose pamphlets or smuggling people to safety.

Have Kiku (Japan for people who don’t watch Hetalia) purposefully looking the other way as Sugihara writes visas to get people to safety and covering for him against his boss. SOMETHING!

But instead of doing either of those, they took the bad third option which was, their choice to instead make the axis seem like likable individuals who are a group of three good friends who work together will in contrast with the “bumbling Allies” who are barely cohesive and constantly fight and argue. At best, makes it seem like both sides had a point and at worst, makes it seem like the Axis was a better than the Allies.

All of this is to say that liking Hetalia does not make you inherently a bad person, but you need to be more critical of what you watch and understand that there is a reason that some people have a genuine issue with it and they have a very good reason for that. You can still watch it the show, but do keep this information in the back of your brain as you do

[miniwolfsbane]

Random: Gambit and women’s weight

(I had energy drink and it’s wearing off, so here I am! 0_o) Edit: Also, forgot Remy was married to Rogue, but let’s backtrack and hypothesize and all that.

Okay, since I’m not on The Gambit guild forums anymore, I have to have somewhere to put this random thought that’s been bouncing in my head since 2010-ish:

Would Gambit date a woman that’s morbidly obese and not be embarrassed about it?

I also have to dissect this thought, so here it goes.

My first instinct says no. He would flirt with her hard, all day long, no question. In fact, let’s just forget most women in the X-universe all look the same. Say there was a significant amount of overweight women that admired him. I think he would think twice before saying yes to a date, if at all.

I saw a fan art on DA making Rogue overweight (I obviously wasn’t looking for it, it just showed up in a group I was in at the time), claiming that Gambit would love big women. (This conversation did not involve me, I just read it.) The thought alone made me laugh internally because a) We don’t know that for sure B) it was coming from someone apparently in support of either accepting yourself as you are, (Not always bad until your health is in jeopardy),  or in the fat acceptance crowd. (She called Rogue calling herself fat in one episode “fat shaming” or something. Ummm...?)  Headdesk. Can’t find it and looks like the artist left DA. Edit: Somehow I found it? And the whole thing is in two separate pieces. (Not linking so the artist can have some anonymity) One piece, the artist had a conversation with someone who didn’t like they made Rogue fat, and said in response to Rogue complaining she was fat in one episode “ Just some good-old-fashioned sizeist writing”. OMG, really? Girls can complain they’re fat. Not everyone wants to be fat. (Holding metaphorical mouth shut to not go on a tangent.) And then they made another piece in response to the complaint after a conversation, and that was the whole thing about Gambit would love big women. Okay, whatever. I’m sure no one cares and it’s years after the fact. This is all from 2017. I’m not insulting them, I just highly disagree with the whole fat acceptance thing. (Probably because I’m overweight and other reasons and I’m a worrier. It’s not always going to kill you, but being fat can impact your health and shorten your lifespan. Not always, but in most cases.) Sorry, ranting again.

Let me just say, I’m not in the fat acceptance camp. Won’t go on a tangent. I’m fat, but I’m not going to say being fat is great and it’s blah blah blah. So, there’s that. You can be fat and healthy on the inside, I will say that, but being overweight can take it’s toll, there’s no getting around that. Edit: I DO post pics of big women in my imagines, yes. That’s because, in my view, you’re not going to lose the weight overnight and we’re not all shaped the same. I never promote obesity purposely. (Maybe an unhealthy recipe here and there, but everything in moderation.) I also believe in representation for different body types, fat, skinny or otherwise. Edit: So I’m more in the ‘You’re not going to lose weight overnight, fat shouldn’t be fetishized, treat your body with love and respect, people that care about you want you to be your best self, all body types need representation, but that doesn’t mean the consequences that may come with weight gain should be treated lightly, not everyone can lose weight easily, and no one has to be super skinny, but we just shouldn’t let ourselves go either, we all have our own journeys to go through, you should lose weight for yourself and for your health if it’s effecting your quality of life.’ camp. Yes, that was a lot.  

Back to Gambit, he’s got all the confidence he can muster and usually doesn’t give a crap what other people think of him, right? I can’t help but think/believe he’d have reservations about dating someone very overweight. Nevermind if he’s attracted to a woman that looks like that or not. (I’m trying my best to word things carefully, but I’m bound to offend someone. I get cursed out again or something, I’m just going to ignore you. Have a nice life.) I think back on the Guild forum, someone said that Remy sees all women as unique, and I have no doubt that’s true. He isn’t so lustful he’ll just chase after any woman, no. And I don’t think like in the Deadpool series, he’s JUST attracted to women with a white streak. Like, ew. Makes it sound like he’s fetishizing Rogue’s hair for goodness sake. Remy is attracted to strong, (emotionally, physically or both), powerful women. 

It’s really easy to write off who/what kind of woman a fit, masculine character is attracted to. Especially if we see it several times in cannon or, like in X-Men comics/TAS, most (but not all) women look the same. (Thank glob X-Men:Evo had the girls have unique body types and not look like clones of each other. Thank you, Mr. Gordon! WATXM...not so much. >_>) Going back to the Guild forums, I kicked off an interesting discussion once asking if Remy would be comfortable dating someone significantly taller or shorter than he was. The answer was a resounding positive, that he’d be okay with it either way.  Point is, I just don’t think he’s canonically attracted to a big woman.

Now, if he were, great (sort-of?). I don’t think he’d get squick about it either. (Dirty minded, um, wouldn’t put it past him, even if I don’t approve.)   He’d probably call her a beautiful figure, curvy, majestic, blah blah. He’d stick up for her when others talk about her, and just be that cool guy we love about it. Granted, Remy wouldn’t be able to pick her up, but there’s cute stuff he could do, and would probably make a lot of remarks and stuff. *Blushes* 

Now, if he had to be convinced or talk himself into a date, that’s a whole other topic. Probably more suited to a fan fic than a fast paced comic, but we’re only speculating while the energy drink wears off here. The other X-Men would probably point out the woman’s good qualities, as well as be honest and point out what a fluff hat piece of slime Remy is being. (Can’t think of good not swear words right now, don’t bother me, I’m busy.) He’d give in to one date, be charmed, then two...and so on. It would catch him off guard, next thing he knows, he’s dating and falling in love with someone who wasn’t originally his type. Dude is open to things and has a big heart after giving his love to a woman he couldn’t touch, so it’s not impossible in theory. He’d just go into it skeptical, maybe even figuratively kicking and screaming, or not at all. He IS an all or nothing man after all.

OMG, this things is getting long. He’d probably be a bit crushed if she let him go if he REALLY loved her. Or at least I like to think so. Could be wrong, who knows? We’ll never know, because this hasn’t and probably won’t happen in cannon. If they retcon the Romy marriage at some point and this does happen, just let me know? I haven’t read comics in ages and would sleep on this.

So...yeah. (*Jumpy*) I’m sure Remy and said big woman would bond over Cajun food and cooking. He’d snuggle with her. Now I’m just rambling. Kinda wonder if he’d try and buy her clothes or not? Make-up for sure, big girls are pros with make-up. Definitely the usual jewelry. He’d have a whole new world to navigate, that’s for sure. (Like, Do or don’t buy her chocolates? Invite her to the gym? He’d probably avoid bringing up how much she weighed in the beginning. And etc.)

...Now I just want to write fan-fic, but I am/was at the half-way point with this with Molly’s stories. Molly was never huge, but same concept, similar reaction with Remy. And I’ve got something I’m writing for my own enjoyment (crazy 500 page live-action Molly/Remy fic-yes, it got out of hand and I have no life) that has the same feel and concepts. So, I may have answered my own question a bit already. Well, thanks for reading this insanity. Have a good day.

[toomuchtimenerd]

Review for ‘A Curse So Dark and Lonely’ by Brigid Kemmerer

Aaaand here’s yet another popular retelling of ‘Beauty and the Beast’. So something to know about me - I LOVE fairy tale retellings. I grew up on a lot of fairy tales, lots of Disney princess movies (most of which are based off fairy tales or in the case of Mulan, a ballad/folk legend). I’m pretty sure growing up I had this giant anthology of a bunch of old European fairy tales that had been adapted for children’s reading. I’m pretty sure my love for magic, fantasy, and all kinds of other-worldly things stems from how much I read and re-read everything in that kid’s anthology as an eight year old or something. Nowadays, I am on the lookout for anthologies with adaptations of folk lore from other cultures. Hopefully I will soon find some that seem promising.

So A Curse So Dark and Lonely is, interestingly, not a stand-alone and its sequel came out earlier this month. I opted to stop after the first book and not pick up the sequel, for reasons that I will divulge in later. A Curse, like The Cruel Prince, has incredibly favorable reviews on Goodreads, and for good reason really. It’s just unfortunate that neither of these two books quite hit the spot for me. Perhaps in the future I will pick up the sequel for A Curse, but with the third book planned for a late 2021 release I probably will not be reading A Curse So Fierce and Broken anytime soon. Something already tells me that I may have to put recreational reading on the back burner for an extended period of time once again when I go back to school. Sadface

A Curse So Dark and Lonely loosely follows the widely known story line for ‘Beauty and the Beast’, with notable changes in that the main character (Harper) has cerebral palsy and is transported from our non-magical contemporary world to the magical kingdom of Emberfall. Our Prince Rhen does not adopt the appearance of a beast 24/7, but rather transforms into one at the end of the repeating autumn season. In his transformed state, he has a penchant for violence and generally does not retain any sense of mind or humanity. When he yet again fails to win a woman’s love, the season will restart to the day of his 18th birthday and he will have to try again with a new woman. Rhen is accompanied only by the sole survivor of his first transformation, a royal guard named Grey. Grey was given the power to go to Harper’s world and take a woman to bring back to Emberfall for Rhen to court. This entire curse was brought down by an enchantress named Lilith, who apparently exists only to torture everyone’s existence. Harper wasn’t originally chosen by Grey, but Harper witnessed Grey “abducting” an unconscious woman and chose to interfere, which leads to her transportation into Emberfall. 

So let’s talk about the obvious; the representation of disabled peoples in this book via our protagonist Harper. She has cerebral palsy, and this is made very clear within the first chapter of the book. Props to the author for not OVER-emphasizing Harper’s disability, though. I love representation, and I believe in the power of representation, but I’m not a fan of when representation goes too far and it becomes the sole definition of a character’s existence. It comes off as lazy writing when a character brings no substance or value aside from the fact that they represent some kind of minority group. However, this isn’t the case here and I think Kemmerer did a wonderful job of blending Harper’s cerebral palsy into the background, yet not enough for the reader to completely forget that she is living with a disability. There are times when Harper is in a lot of pain and isn’t able to do certain things as easily as other people can, but her perseverance/grit/determination shows us that she is still just like any other human being trying to get by. She doesn’t view herself as a victim of her disability either, it’s just something she was born with and has learned to live with. It is a part of her, and even if she doesn’t like it she has learned to accept it as a part of her. I think Kemmerer sends a beautiful message in portraying Harper’s attitude with her cerebral palsy: there is no need to feel victimized by one’s disability, and there is no need to hate oneself for it either.

Outside of Harper’s disability, she is a very standard YA fantasy heroine - hardworking, passionate, cautious, determined, guarded. Is it bad that I’m getting a little bit tired of this character trope? I kind of want to see a heroine who isn’t so perfect, and I kind of want to see someone who is a little whiny or bratty at first but then grows from their hardships and experiences. Harper, like many YA fantasy heroines, just seems to start out incredibly likable (or maybe too likable) with the perfect package of personality traits. Now I’m not necessarily complaining about this, but I definitely would’ve liked to see a little more substance from Harper outside of just “I need to find a way to get home and I’m going to keep rebelling until I do”. Obviously this wasn’t her as a character the ENTIRE book, but it definitely was more or less the only thing passing through her mind for maybe the first 40% of the book. Another issue I took with her (or maybe not even her as a character, maybe it’s an issue I have with the book itself) is her wishywashy-ness in regards to her feelings. For pretty much the entire book up until Grey takes her home, Harper at best only deeply cares about and respects Rhen. But in the last 20% of the book when Grey takes her back to Emberfall to face the transformed Rhen, Harper suddenly proclaims her love for him and is willing to pretty much give herself up to Lilith to spare Rhen and Grey. That’s a huge change in emotions, and according to the book timeline this change of feelings happens over the course of like... 36 hours or something. And then the book ends on a MASSIVE ambiguity over whether the curse was broken because Harper truly loved Rhen, or if it was because Grey had succeeded in killing Lilith. So, we went from “I deeply care for you and I find comfort in your company” to “I would DIE for you” to “did the curse break because I love you? Idk” over the course of like... 3-4 chapters? Uhhhhh. Yeah I’ve got questions.

Now I know this review is coming off as pretty negative, and not gonna lie I don’t think I was a big fan of this retelling but I certainly don’t think it was bad either. Rhen’s character development was so captivating and surprising because most YA authors generally don’t pay much attention into developing the male lead as much as the heroine. In all honesty, Harper began pretty perfect with very little room for growth so she her character progression just seemed to stagnate to me. But Rhen starts off as a meh character who didn’t seem to learn all that much from his countless failures of wooing women during his cursed time and progresses into a very selfless leader (re: true KING). He goes from isolating himself in his castle while trying to break the curse to nearly ignoring the curse so he could focus on protecting and caring for his people. I guess it’s pretty obvious that I really liked Rhen as a character, and I personally think he deserves a lot better than that ending we got. It wasn’t a bad ending, and I think Kemmerer wanted to be original in creating a somewhat ambiguous ending. But as a hardcore romance junkie I think I may have a narrow scope of what my heart can tolerate for any retelling of ‘Beauty and the Beast’. 

And finally, let’s talk about Grey. He’s not a POV character in this first book, but he’s in almost every single chapter and he plays a pretty big role. At the beginning I thought I was going to get a load of a love triangle, but thank GOD that wasn’t the case. I’m all for originality, but my mind will never be okay with a love triangle in ‘Beauty and the Beast’. It’s beauty and the fucking beast!! Not beauty and the beast featuring Ludacris!! Is it obvious that I don’t like love triangles to begin with? Yeah. Anyway, Grey is an interesting character. I kind of saw the epilogue coming, because for a side character Grey was too fleshed out and well developed (considering side characters rarely are, except for my one true love Despina from Wrath and the Dawn). But nevertheless, I quite enjoyed Grey! In the beginning of the story I felt like he served almost as a foil to Rhen. They were quite the opposites in terms of personality, but they ultimately are working towards the same goal. Watching Grey’s relationship with Harper unfold on paper was also quite nice. Unlike Rhen, Grey starts off kinda antagonizing Harper (with good reason, considering their first encounter consisted of her attacking him). Rhen is kind and very elaborate in his words and manners with Harper, but Grey very much the opposite. He speaks simply, he’s a man of actions, and is mostly very detached from his emotions. I actually felt his character complimented Harper’s character quite well (considering her own emotional detachment), and I think this is what Kemmerer was going for anyway since Harper does actually warm up to Grey much quicker than she warms up to Rhen. 

Some last thoughts to wrap it up - while I understand that Kemmerer wanted to bridge the gap between this book and its sequel, I felt that she pulled WAY too much of the spotlight from Rhen/Harper and onto Grey. The ending between Rhen/Harper felt incredibly rushed, and again I just don’t think I like the ambiguity over what actually broke the curse. I was thinking about giving A Curse So Dark and Lonely a 4-star rating for most of the book up until the end, and now I’m thinking it’s more like a 3.5 star from me. The last couple of chapters were heavily action-packed, and Kemmerer’s way of tying up the lose strings (pushing the foreign army out of Emberfall) was very creative. But the ending following all of that action was just so... bland and unexciting. It was like dumping a large tub of water on a small campfire that was just starting to grow warm. I like Grey as character, but not enough to want to read the sequel where he stars as a POV just yet. 

[hellogoodbye741]

All the book reviews I should have been doing in real time, but imma piece of garbage(tm)

Please ignore this second (or possibly more if i don’t have enough space) long ass post

Reading Lolita in Tehran:

I really enjoyed this book. I’m not a huge fan of a lot of nonfiction writing because of how monotonous they can be, but this wasn’t like that. She really told a story about her (the author) and a bunch of young woman in Tehran reading Lolita and other banned books, and it really resonated with me.

:)

Hidden Figures:

I had been told several times that this book was not going to be what I expected and that I should read the children’s version of it instead because that was more like the movie. Should have listened. I enjoyed the book, but it focused way more on the scientific side of things instead of the more story-line aspect of history. Not saying that it wasn’t great and a fascinating read into such pivotal people in America’s timeline, it just wasn’t my thing.

:/

Virals:

I had been putting off reading this series by Kathy Reichs because it wasn’t the Tempe Brennan character, and therefore I did not care. BOY WAS THAT A WRONG OPINION. This book (and the subsequent ones I have since read) are amazing! They were written with teens in mind, but you can enjoy them at any level. They are chocked full of sci-fi fun that keeps you begging for more and more. I say this about very few novels, but I would totally read again.

:)

Noir:

I absolutely adore Christopher Moore books. I have read several of his, and have never found any at fault. This one, however, wasn’t up to par. It was okay, but not like his other works. I couldn’t get into as much, and it wasn’t as funny. The story is written very much like a noir-style movie, so I could find no fault in that, but the twist at the middle/end was very unexpected and left me confused. I think I would have to give it a read and more pay attention to more finite details to make sense of it.

:/

Number One Chinese Restaurant:

I was expecting to really enjoy this book, but honestly, it kinda sucked. I didn’t really like any of the characters, and never felt any sympathy for any of them even when they were going through struggles. The writing was a little choppy, and the constant POV change was jarring. It was a little bit of a struggle to get through, not gonna lie.

:/

The House That Lou Built:

I know this book is meant for younger audiences, but I absolutely adored it. Like I have nothing else to say, it was adorable and I will protect it with my life.

:)

Crazy Rich Asians:

I enjoyed this book. I’m not a huge fan of multiple POVs, but the way they did it in this book wasn’t bad at all. I really want to see the movie and see how it compares.

:)

Da Vinci Code:

Tis a classic I have read several times over. Dan Brown got it going on.

:)

Post Mordem:

I love the Kathy Reichs books and have read several of them (unfortunately not in order).  This is the first book in the series, and I really liked seeing how it all got started. Kathy Reichs tries to make sure to make the science aspect of the book both for the idiots and the people who know their shit, which is great. Gotta represent my North Carolina ladiesss

:)

77 Shadow Street:

This book was all kinds of fucked up. Every time I thought I got the plot and what was going on, they fucked me over again. I said “what the fuck” at least once every chapter.

:(

Raisin in the Sun:

Don’t know how it took me so long to read this play. Absolutely adored the characters and the storyline, and the resolution at the end was bittersweet. Would love to see it performed and get the true experience and emotion.

:)

House on Mango Street:

I have read this book a handful of times too, and I enjoy it every single time. The book is short and sweet, and the poetry graceful and moving. Will probably read again and again in the future.

:)

Whipping Boy:

I first read this in the 4th grade and it has resonated with me ever since. It takes like an hour to read, but it is filled with so much in the meantime. All about dat bourgeoise bullshitttttt and how it can be rectified.

:)

In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson:

Haven’t read this since elementary school, and had forgotten how sweet this story is. The trials the young girl goes through and how she triumphs, in the end, leaves me with the biggest smile on my face.

:)

Red Scarf Girl:

Also been a while since last reading this book. It’s a beautiful and tragic story about the rise of communism and the struggles that everyone in their country faced. I think it was based on a true story but honestly can’t remember. Would definitely read again.

:)

Journey of Little Charles:

This was an endearing ‘growing up’ historical novel. I enjoyed it.

:)

Ivy Aberdeen’s Letters to the World:

This was absolutely GREAT. Such a beautiful way to explore and introduce the LGBTQIA+ community to younger audiences.

:)

Children of Blood and Bone:

I really enjoyed this book, and want to read the rest of the series too. It was a very immersive story that kept me on the edge of my seat throughout the whole story.

:)

Chaos/Code/Exposure:

I’m just going to do these three as one since they’re all part of the same series. I really enjoy the Virals series, and each time you think there’s nowhere else to go, Reichs and her son introduce something you would have never expected.

:)

Sing, unburied, sing:

Thought I was gonna like this one more than I did. It just kinda lagged for me and was hard to get into.

:/

Lucky Broken Girl:

I thought this was a beautiful and heartbreaking book (and true story) about a girl who is confined to her bed practically paralyzed. It was nice to watch her get through her struggles and come out on top in the end.

:)

Finding Langston:

This was a very cute story about a poc country boy going to the city and discovering himself through a love of books, and though it is meant for younger audiences, I enjoyed it immensely.

:)

The Dollar Kids:

Another cute story meant for kids about finding one's self and working through trauma in a way that children can understand.

:)

Winnie’s Great War:

It’s the absolutely true story of the English army adopting a bear in the 40s told through the POV of the bear. I do not need to say more.

:)

Ballet Shoes:

I’m a sucker for three young girls following their dreams and one of them being ballet. Yaas queen.

:)

Song for a Whale:

An absolutely stunning tale of following your dreams and fighting through all adversities to get there. Also, the main character is deaf, and being HOH myself, loved having the representation (even if the story if for younger children).

:)

It’s Not a Perfect World, but I’ll take It:

Told from the perspective and real-life story of a girl living with autism, and some things that can help others learn how to accept that they are just like anyone else, and some things on how to make life a bit easier. Loved seeing life through that perspective, even if it was only for a little while.

:)

Rapunzel’s Revenge:

Loved this comic’s twist on the classic tale of Rapunzel. Rapunzel takes her life into her own hands and kicks ass

:)

Ghost Doll and Jasper:

This was a perfect mix between cute and creepy. A combination most would find weird, but I loved it!

:)

Color Purple:

I’ve been hearing about this book for as long as I could remember, but never at any point had anyone ever talked about the plot?? It wasn’t what I expected at all, but it really made me feel something,

:)

We Will Not Be Silent:

NEVER AGAIN MEANS NOW, NEVER AGAIN MEANS NOW

:)

The Woman Who Smashed Codes:

A fascinating read, but on par with Hidden Figures where there was a lot that I just didn’t understand.

:/

The Lowlands:

It took me almost 3/4 of the way into the book to actually get into the plot and understand what was going on. Maybe another read-through might help, but eh.

:/

1776:

I love history, but the sheer length of this book and the unending quality about it was #strugglebus

:/

Born a Crime:

Nobody should be born illegal, nobody should be illegal period. Trevor Noah, I’m sorry a rude ass country did that to you.

:)

Stalking Jack the Ripper:

Yooooooo, read this shit!

:)

Winnie the Pooh:

You already know who it is

:)

Eragon:

It has been so long since I have read this series. I had forgotten how long the books were, but #worthit

:)

Titus Andronicus:

Did not understand it while I was reading it. Saw it performed the next day and was like “ohhhhhhh, i get it now”

:/

How to Train Your Dragon:

Nothing like the movie, at all. Still cute tho.

:)

Howl’s Moving Castle:

Was just like the movie, except even more. There was a whole other plot point that just added to the concept of Howl that made it even better.

:)

Other Words from Home:

Beautiful story of a young girl moving halfway across the world and dealing with the hardships that come with it.

:)

Hunting Prince Dracula:

Do you like UST between two dork scientist badasses??? READ DAT SHIT

:)

Sweep:

This was both incredibly sweet, and absolutely sad, while also throwing in some kill the capitalist bourgeoise and I loved it.

:)

Errant Prince:

Four words-

Gay.

Trans.

Wizard.

Knight.

:)

Diary of Anne Frank:

You get so enamored with the girl she was, that you forget that she never got to the be the girl she could have been.

:’(

The Help:

EAT

MY

SHIT

:)

Black Leopard, Red Wolf:

Not a big fan of the random and multiple rape scenes, and the plot was hard to follow.

:/

Hunger Makes me a Modern Girl:

It was a good, short read.

:)

In Another time:

I got straight and happy couple baited and I was denied but in a beautiful way so #allowed.

:)

A Place For Us:

Another one where the plot was a little hard to follow, but I actually enjoyed it nonetheless.

:)

Sun is Also a Star:

Thought I was gonna be denied my happy ending, turned it around on the last page. Hell yuss.

:)

Prodigal Summer:

Thought I was gonna enjoy it more since I too am from rural Appalachia. Nah

:/

Zombie:

Alright, okay, a little fucked up, okay, okay, WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED, the end.

:/

Fox8:

I cried at work reading this????

:)

Fire and Fury:

Not my thing, nice to see what’s up tho

:/

Song of Achilles:

GAAAAAAY

and

TRAGGGGIICCC

:)

Genesis Begins Again:

No matter what anyone says, you’re beautiful

:)

[bigskydreaming]

thoughts on the cw the lost boys recastings?

Not really? LOL I mean I had to google lost boys recasting because I’ve gotten a couple asks about it this week but this was the first one that mentioned recasting, and I had had no idea why all of a sudden ppl were asking about it again, so...*shrugs* 

So I guess the CW didn’t like the pilot that was shot and they released all the cast from their contracts except for two of the lesser known names. I mean sure, I’m kinda bummed that we won’t get Posey playing a vampire in a campy CW show that’ll likely be at least as terrible as TW if not worse, lolol, but that’s literally about as high as my expectations ever went? I’m sure he’ll land something else soon enough.

I know people are always looking to make a big deal about this sort of thing, and so anyone’s free to believe me or not or assume I’m biased because of what a huge Posey stan I obviously am, but tbh....its really not that big a deal. This sort of thing happens all the time, its just nobody outside the industry really pays attention except when its involving a specific project or show they’re interested in, or an actor, so it seems less common from that perspective than it actually is, but like...honestly, this kinda thing happens at least once a pilot season, if not more.

Like literally all that happened, far as I can tell, is the CW passed on the pilot. That’s it. That happens allllllll the time, with something like 70% of the pilots shot every pilot season never seeing the light of day. That’s actually a conservative estimate.

The only thing that’s different from the rest of that 70% here, that puts this in the ‘usually only happens once or twice a pilot season,’ is that the CW didn’t scrap the whole project, and are looking to recast. Usually when that happens, its for one of two reasons: its a passion project for someone hide up on the food chain like one of the executive bigwigs, or else their option on the IP is about to expire and they either are afraid they won’t be able to re-up on it because someone else is looking to horn in, or they don’t want to waste their investment in the project so far but still don’t want to commit for yet another year with nothing to show for it either.

We’re talking about Lost Boys here, so my guess is it could be either, or even more likely, a combination of both. It’s a cult classic with a sizable following and big footprint in the vampire genre. I’m sure there are always people looking to snatch the option for it up the second it becomes available again. The CW’s had this project in development hell for a number of years from what I can see, ever since Rob Thomas first wanted to do something with it for them, and that means the option’s been tied up for years and this is the first time they’ve even gone all the way to pilot with it. 

So if they still can’t make it to air with a new pilot and pass on that too, they’ll have to go back to whoever holds the IP rights for the movie and try and re-up again for another year (idk who that is, could be Schumacher, could be the studio that produced the movie, it depends). And if they’ve already had the option tied up for this many years, I guarantee the second word got out that the CW had passed on their pilot, people started making calls and making sure the source option holder knew they were interested, should the option become available again. Which means the holder of the original IP rights now has additional leverage to make the CW pay a higher price to re-up, or else they’ll take their option elsewhere, to the many others who are interested. 

And trust me, the CW doesn’t want that. Because then they’ll have to decide if they want to let it go, despite all the money sunk into it over the years already.....or if they want to hang on to it, pay even more than usual to re-up, in addition to the money they dropped this year on one, possibly even two pilots. I’m sure at least some of the people in the decision-making chain at the CW are fans of the original movie, given the nature of most of the shows the CW greenlights, so its pretty much a given that some of them really WANT to see something come out of this option, but sooner or later every studio has to cut their losses and walk away, and I suspect from not just them going back to the drawing board, but going back this late in the year, that there’s a degree of urgency to this that you don’t see most years, meaning they’re probably on the brink of having to make that call. If they pass on this second pilot, whenever they reshoot, I wouldn’t be surprised if they then go ahead and let their option expire next year.

As for everyone but two actors being recast.......okay, so look, this is part of where the whole ‘there are reasons I don’t really ‘stan’ for actors the way most people on social media do’ thing I’m always going on about, lol. Yeah a large part of that has to do with having worked with so many actors the shine has worn off and I’m very aware they’re just people no different from anyone you work with, and you’d find it very odd to stan for a random coworker of yours, I’d imagine. But another part of it is just.....my perspective on the industry and actors is from a very different angle from most peoples’, so a lot of the times I’m just kinda....bwuh, at the things people make a big deal out of, if that makes sense?

Like I mean, as I said, this is literally the first I heard about the show being recast, I haven’t been keeping up with any news or gossip about it at all, but I know, I just KNOW that there are people reading a lot into this, either in support of Posey or looking to make digs at him for....what to my POV....very likely has absolutely fuck all to do with the cast at all? 

LMAO. Like I just mean, in my perspective, it wouldn’t even occur to me to assume the actors all gave shitty performances or were a let down and that’s why they’re all being recast, at least, were it not for years on social media making me aware that is a common assumption. 

Like...nope, that’s really not a thing that happens, like, it literally just doesn’t. Again, people can believe me or not, but I promise, I PROMISE, there has been no pilot in the history of ever, where almost the entire cast was recast because every single one of them phoned in a shitty performance. Nope. Look, no matter HOW long you’ve worked in the industry, pilots are NOT easy to come by. Pilot season is hands down THE most competitive time of the year for any actor, on pretty much any level. Unless we’re talking actors who don’t even have to be cast because their involvement is the only reason a project is happening, that sorta thing.....NO ACTOR EVER TAKES A PILOT CASTING FOR GRANTED. Like, if an actor honestly just didn’t even care all that much whether a pilot gets picked up? Then why the fuck would they even bother going on auditions for that pilot, or why not just sit out that pilot season? It’s a bunch of hassle they don’t need as well as possibly getting locked into a longterm contract for a project they don’t really care about....lol just no, that’s not a thing. Actors don’t do pilots unless they WANT that pilot to be picked up, and for them to have a contracted role. Full stop.

So when you keep that in mind....honestly, what are the chances that in a full cast of professional actors, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM couldn’t manage to give a compelling performance, while bringing their A-game, except for the two cast members with the least on their resumes?

The chances are zip, because on the occasions an entire cast or almost an entire cast gets replaced for a reshoot, it has absolutely zero to do with any of the performances, and everything to do with the direction taken with the premise, like, the basic pitch they chose to go with for the characters.

Because again....its about Hollywood’s favorite magic word: leverage.

Nah, if one actor gets replaced after a pilot, before reshoots or even just between shooting the pilot and the show starting shooting on the rest of the season? Then it might be about the performance there, the studio just didn’t like that actor in the role and wanted to recast. Or it might be about the actor having had competing commitments that meant they turned out not to be available longterm after all, or there was a ceiling to how long they’d actually be available, or maybe they had enough other commitments that technically made them available but were still a hassle for the studio to work around and they just didn’t want to bother.

OR, in some cases....an actor gets recast before the show goes to air, because the studio couldn’t negotiate an agreement with the actor for their contract, that satisfied both parties.

Because that’s the angle most people forget to consider in this specific type of situation: actors sign on for a pilot, when they get cast. Their contracts have nothing to do with a full season at that point, because there’s nothing to even negotiate there, until a pilot is actually greenlit. Because until that point, nobody even knows for sure if they’re going to get a full season pick up, a half a season pick up, if the studio is just going to order eight episodes at first and then see how the ratings are before picking up five more episodes on the back end, etc.

So AFTER a pilot gets greenlit, the casts’ representation goes back to the table with the studio and hammer out their longterm contracts for the actual season.

And when a cast has to shoot not one pilot but two, before they even reach the negotiation stage for a full season pickup....they come to the table with a HELL of a lot of leverage. Because they know exactly how badly the studio needs THIS particular show to work out at this point, after that much of an investment. They know that the studio used up pretty much any buffer time they had, in order to get a whole second pilot shot, and they literally can’t AFFORD to have too many of their main cast walk at this point, if they don’t agree to their terms.

So when a studio recasts almost an entire cast before going back to reshoots, its because they’re trying to hedge their bets as much as possible and nip that negotiating power in the bud with a full recast with brand new actors who are brought in with the understanding that ‘we know we don’t have a lot of time to get this done and don’t want to waste our investment on this flopping, and YOU know that and we KNOW you know that, but if you want this part at all, you’re not going to make that a thing when it comes to full season contracts, do we have an agreement there.’

And you can’t make that kind of agreement halfway through things with a cast you’ve already made any kind of commitment to, not and expect them to be on board without any kind of concessions made.

So yeah, that’s why my guess is who knows what kind of performances the cast gave, it very likely had nothing to do with the recastings. Best bet is the studio just wasn’t happy with how the pitch they went with for this initial pilot looked when realized on screen, or maybe they were torn between two pitches initially anyway and now they feel the other might be a better bet.....and they couldn’t afford to stick with a cast that already had this much negotiating power this late in the game, so they released everyone from their contracts except for two of the ones who had relatively little negotiating power to begin with, and weren’t likely to give the studio too much of a problem over full season contracts.

Besides, if the new pilot does make it to air, by the time the new cast negotiates their full season contracts, the studio can sit down with these two and say its not that big a deal to recast one or two more at this point, all things considered, so.....again, do you want this role or not.

Ahhh, good old Hollywood. Where the bullshit in question is never exactly the bullshit most people assume it is, but make no mistake - its bullshit all the same. LOLOL.

Ugh, if only I weren’t a masochist who didn’t love being a THEEEEEEEESPIAN so much. Ah well.

But seriously guys, the thing you have to remember always, is there are never any guarantees, ever, at any stage, so its always a mistake to assume that a late stage decision or change has anything to do with quality, when there are a million other bullshit factors studios tend to consider before they even get around to giving a shit about what they think of the quality.

Like, an example....six or seven years ago, I don’t remember exactly...maybe it was eight, even? The year Jay Leno’s scandals were all over the news and NBC pulled his contract and all the late night talk shows moved around and swapped hosts.

Anyway, doing that meant that all of a sudden, NBC had an entire slate of open slots they needed to fill in the ten o’clock hour of their season lineups. Monday through Friday, when they usually would have a brand new hour of Leno programming for viewers from 10-11, all of a sudden, they had NOTHING. It was pretty damn unprecedented and nobody knew for sure how things were going to play out....just that it was November, and NBC was scrambling to pick and staff and cast as many pilots as they could in as short a time frame as they could, to cover the gap.

In the end, they had about half a dozen to maybe ten pilots at most, all filming at breakneck speed throughout December, right before the holidays, with the studio hoping to make a decision on them over hiatus and start shooting again over sweeps for a late midseason premiere to them.

So us poor dumb bastards who got cast and shoved through contracts, fittings, filming and all that good stuff in one of the most whirlwind and exhausting start-to-finish shoots any of us had ever experienced in the industry, were like, okay we KNOW better than to assume anything’s a sure thing, but like....this is PRETTY CLOSE to a sure thing, right? RIGHT?

Ugh, what dumbasses.

LOL and me I was one of the worst, because I wasn’t SAYING it out loud where anyone could hear it, but like, I was SURE this was going to be my big break. Because see, I wasn’t cast just on any old last minute pilot. No, I landed a bit-part-with-possibilities-of-recurring on a pilot starring David Tennant, like, fresh off his role on Doctor Who and very much in demand. It had a fair number of other names going for it...Jane Curtin, Cleo King who’d just gotten a big boost in popularity from The Hangover releasing over the summer, Abigail Spencer from Timeless although back then she was mostly just known for her work on Mad Men, etc. Like, this production was so rushed it never even got to the point of having an actual title, it was called something like “Rex Is Not Your Lawyer" on all our official contracts and stuff lol. We shot it over two weeks in December and wrapped filming the day before Christmas. And then we waited to hear about a decision, pretty fucking confident we were about to get a midseason pickup, because like....literally what else did the studio even HAVE?

Well. Nothing. We were right on that front, at least. They had nothing else to put on air besides the pilots they’d hastily pulled together and shot.....but in the end, after ALL of that, and after all that expense, and drama, and rushing and whatnot....the higher ups decided eh...you know what? We’re not really feeling any of these, hey, let’s just air re-runs of the Leno show in his old ten o’clock spot, that’ll be good enough.

....*headdesk*

LOL and the best thing was they didn’t even bother to tell ANY of the casts their decision until like, a month after making it. I mean we’d pretty much figured out from watching the clock that for whatever reason, it just wasn’t going to happen, but despite being a nobody, I was weirdly one of the very first in the cast to know for sure we weren’t getting picked up, because one of my friends who works in costume design was working on a different show on the lot where we’d shot Rex, and called me at like 6 am one day to say ‘oh shit, they’re packing up your sets, wtf,’ and that was basically as good as confirmation, lmao, ugh.

Though tbh, for me personally, that one doesn’t sting nearly as much as Washington Field, which was....I wanna say one or two pilot seasons before that? It was my first year in town, going out on auditions for pilot season as a fully paid up and registered SAG actor, the CSI franchise was winding down and CBS was looking to replace it with a brand new franchise, and Washington Field was the procedural they were hoping to use as a launching point for that new franchise. Some FBI procedural, like lbr, I would have never ever watched it myself and probably hated every script with a passion lol. I remember first time I got the full script for the pilot, like, it was pretty much right before we were all set to fly out to where we were shooting on location, so a bunch of my acting friends were over for a last minute party kinda thing, THOROUGHLY enjoying a drinking game they’d made out of the script, called something like “Get a shot every time Kalen’s character is a MASSIVE TOOL of the Establishment!” LOL like lbr, it wouldn’t have been my favorite role to break into the biz with haha. But the cast was pretty cool and we had a blast - GINA TORRES, ugh, still so bummed there, Teri Polo, Cole Hauser which is ironic given this is an ask about Lost Boys, lol, oh and Eddie Cibrian but he was super cranky the whole time b/c like his affair with LeeAnn Rimes had just become public knowledge lolol whooooops - anyway. 

I was pretty sure that was a sure thing too, because CBS was pushing the hellllll out of that pilot, talking up all these big plans they had for it, it was something like a $5 million pilot, we had helicopters, shut down a whole freeway for filming one day, the works. Big big production. I didn’t even have representation at the time, I was booking my own auditions and literally only got called in for that one because the casting director had remembered me from some indie I did, weirdly enough, and looked me up on a whim. But like, yeah, I only found out we’d been passed over on that one when I ran into one of the other cast on the street like the week before pick-ups and she was like “oh honey no, didn’t you hear? They passed on our pilot, we’re all released from contract.” ....lol, that was not a super fun way to find out.

Oh well, ANYWAY, point is, nobody ever knows anything even when they think they know and also studios are stupid and dumb and make stupid dumb decisions all the time so never ever assume a studio’s decision has anything to do with anything other than being stupid and dumb and also, I am DEFINITELY not biased, okay, maybe I am a little bit but my bias has actually absolutely zero to do with Posey and everything to do with being Jilted one too many times by studios who are both stupid and dumb, and thus clearly not to be trusted. Harrumph.

....I think there’s an answer to your question in there. Somewhere. Idk, I think I got lost too.

[xxxtwilightaxelxxx]

Avengers Endgame (spoilers)

So yeah I saw endgame last night and it was really good, it didn’t feel like over 3 hours at all. It made me cry a lot and it has made me think about getting the blurays to the films ones day, either the phase 1,2,3 (and 4 if there is one) or one huge collective one of the films up to now.

I have some points I’d like to make, some good, some bad:

I was really shocked how little screen time Carol got, like she was in the posters and trailers but barely in it, I get after going on the tags that it was a movie focused on the original 6 because some were leaving and she is now part of the new generation so she’s gonna be in future films but I would have liked a bit more, especially in the final fight. Also seeing her with short hair wow!! She has short hair in the comics right? I’m thinking of seeing captain Marvel again if its still in cinema friday since I don’t start till 4 so I could see it before then, I did enjoy cm but I think it missed something to tip it over the edge, I don’t know what but maybe seeing it again I’ll have a different opinion. And also no fury/carol scene??? 

Wanda!!!!! my baby, my wife I missed her so much and seeing her kick arse was fucking amazing, I was quietly cheering when she came back and showing how fucking powerful she is, almost killing Thanos herself if he wasn’t a baby and made that call (same with Carol she almost killed him but he chickened and did the power stone thing). And seeing her talk to Clint at the funeral. I can’t wait for her tv show and to see her again. And I’m gonna be gay for a second and say with Vision gone can she have a girlfriend now XD I would love to see her and Carol interact. 

Seeing Valkyrie again was so awesome I wasn’t sure if she was in it but so happy to see her again, again short time but what we got was good and hope to see her in another film. Plus seeing her on the peagasus was cool also.

That all girl team scene, looovveeedd ittttt I wish it was longer though like three times as long since we see more of the guys fighting and not enough of these incredible women, I hope one day we get to see an all female team film, that would be fucking great. But not seeing Natasha in that was really sad, but I’ve seen posts where they spoke that Natasha paved the way for these girls to be here, now she’s passed the torch over the them, still it didn’t feel the same, maybe if they mentioned her that would have done it. I love it, but it was missing her.

The funny moments like seeing Thor overweight, the american ass scene, when Steve fought himself and baby Scott. When Carol met Peter and Peter met Valkyrie. There were so many good moments especially with the o6, since we wouldn’t be seeing them again. 

Steve and Thor’s hammer, that was super cool and I wasn’t expecting that, neither the audience. I’m guessing it has happened in the comics though but really seeing him use the hammer and his shield was really cool, I’m not fond of CA but he was alright in this film actually. 

I wasn’t expecting the whole go back in time and get the stones story plot, I thought the whole thing was just going to be finding Thanos and getting the stones but after like 15 mins when Thor killed Thanos it’s like...oh..so to get this plot of them going back in time to points in past films was really great and giving the fans a look back at where they were to where they are now.

I really like the avengers past scene, like when they captured Loki and Clint and Natasha got a drink, and Hulk having to take the stairs, I really loved that scene, Avengers is a film I’ve seen maybe four or five times which is rare for me since I pretty much only see a film once unless I really like it (or need to see it before the next one as a refresher) there was just something about it that really made it great.

The fact that five years had gone, I was thinking there might have been a timeskip but not that much, like seeing Natasha trying everything to not show how broken she was before she spoke to Steve, god I can’t imagine, I thought there might have been because of her hair but not that much. Cassie being older I don’t know if the actress just looks older but I’ve been looking up and Cassie would have been 10 in Antman and Wasp so she would be 15/16 in endgame, she just looks older to me. And with Peter and his friends, how does that work with school? their in the same year right? like school year?

The whole Gamora thing...I wasn’t expecting that and I’m not sure what’s going to happen now. With GOTG 3 does this mean it’s going to focus on finding her? And will Nebula be with her or them, I can’t remember if she was on the ship at the end I think she was. I just wanna say I’m happy for Karen getting such a huge job in this like she was in endgame a lot and being a dr who fan I’m happy she got this role and for her to be succeeding.

There are probs more things I can mention if I remember but you know what I need to mention, who left. I was expecting Steve to die at least, what happened to him I’m happy, it was so good to see Peggy again since I really enjoyed the Agent Carter show before they canceled it, it was a beautiful way to end his story. He went back and replaced the stones and decided he wanted the life he wanted even if it meant leaving everyone behind. It was a nice send off for him and him giving the shield to his friend was great. Maybe my opinion on Steve will change when I watched the past films again I don’t know but yeah he got his happy ending.

Tony.....well I fucking cried when he died, I wasn’t expecting it because I only thought Steve would and when it happened oh man seeing him after the snap like just out of it and Pepper being with him, when she said they would be okay and he can go, yeah that did it for me. He got the life he wanted, he got a daughter but he’s not gonna see her grow and I feel bad for them, but seeing how he was from the first iron man film to now how he’s changed. And using that I am iron man line that was fantastic. I didn’t want him to die, retire and go somewhere yeah but not die, but he did save everyone and it had to be someone. His legacy will live on.

What I wasn’t fucking expecting was to see Natasha die...like...when I saw that scene I was in shock, I think I got teary but not full blown because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, like it didn’t hit me till after the film finished that she was truly gone. I felt terrible for her because she sacrificed herself for her family, she didn’t have a family like Clint or Tony had, she didn’t have the best childhood and did many things she probs wasn’t proud of but for her to sacrifice herself so everyone could come back and her family can reunite was so sad like, she never got to be happy like finding someone to love and adopt some kids of her own and relax, she didn’t get an ending like Steve, and she didn’t get a death scene like Tony. I think that’s why it shocked me because it was so sudden and I just thought she was just going to come back once everything returned. And after reading some tumblr posts it really made me realise how if it wasn’t for her we may not have the female characters we have now, she started that and gave us the girls we have now. And its even more incredible sad she never got to be part of the final fight, that’s what really annoyed me, she didn’t get to be part of that all girl scene, didn’t see them won, or see them come back. I felt like she didn’t get the ending she deserved but given and ending she had to have because they needed someone to sacrifice. Natasha is one of line of girls who helped me realise I’m gay and now there are girls that are continuining that line not just in marvel but everywhere. I kinda pulled her to the side once Wanda came but seeing Endgame made me think how she meant to me then and when I rewatch the films I won’t forget it. When they announced they were finally doing the Black Widow film I said how I wanted a Wanda Maximoff film instead, but now after watching Endgame I can’t wait for it, one final send off from her. 

I think that’s everything really, I look forward to the next generation of films and characters, hoping for more lgbtq+ representation and everything, bringing me more girls to love and future films to enjoy. This was quite a ride, I wish I was more invested in Marvel, but maybe I can look into the comics and try a few :) Thanks for these long years o6 and heres to the future.

[kylosrehn]

aos for the ask meme. or, if you've already gotten that (or you just wanna do both) the wider MCU.

the first character i ever fell in love with: Skye. Or Ward. I can’t really remember which came first. Probably Skye because she was so relatable and quirky and positive but I also loved grumpy pretending-not-to-care SO Ward. 

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Skye… or Daisy I guess. I started losing interest around halfway through S2 with the whole Afterlife plot (and then just stopped watching the show altogether after the S2 finale lol) but S3 was the one that really left a bad taste in my mouth. And the start of S4 with emo vigilante Daisy. I don’t dislike her, but it’s a far cry from the love I had for her in the early days. Same with Jemma, actually. I really liked her in S1, this cute, quirky if slightly awkward scientist willing to bend the rules when she believes it’s the right thing to do. Afterwards things got… complicated. I like her more on her own, outside of FS scenes (which, when does that ever happen?) Can she/they ever have a storyline that doesn’t involve saving the other one? For science? No?

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Hmm… I don’t think I have one? Once I decide I like something, I fall for it pretty hard. lol. I guess Daisy/Lincoln. That’s a funny one, because when they sort of started flirting in S2 I liked the idea of them together, and I thought they had a lot of potential. But once it actually happened I wasn’t into it at all. It felt kinda rushed and I just didn’t really see any chemistry between them. It was an ‘expectations vs. reality’ sort of thing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: Oh gosh… Fitz, I guess? I mean, obviously I’m trash for Ophelia but I actually wasn’t all that fond of the whole Aida arc at the beginning… I liked her more in the Framework, and all the potential she had as a human (or Inhuman, whatever.) It’s funny because he sort of grew on me. I admittedly didn’t pay much attention to him in S1 because I was so wrapped up in Skyeward, but once they killed that storyline and started developing his character from the nerdy sidekick/comic relief to an actual, fleshed-out character dealing with brain damage, then yes I became involved. Still mourned the untimely demise of Skyeward in S2 though.

prettiest character: Fitz or Ward if it’s more ‘handsome’ pretty. Out of the ladies… Daisy, I suppose? Also Stephanie Malick because personal bias - yes I’ve loved Bethany Joy Lenz since One Tree Hill and they totally should’ve let her stick around for longer than two episodes god damn it.

my most hated character: I’m not particularly fond of Jemma. Or what they’ve done with her, I suppose. But god damn it if there’s one character I hate it’s Ruby. Really glad that arc is over.

my OTP: This one’s pretty obvious. Skye/Ward and Fitz/Ophelia. Hehe. 

my NOTP: Fitzsimmons sorry not sorry.

favorite episode: (In no particular order): 5.14, 4.16 and 1.17. Self Control and, frankly, all the Framework episodes, are strong contenders, but that’s my podium. 

saddest death: I’ve got to say Fitz. Mostly because it was so sudden and I honestly wasn’t expecting it at all. I genuinely didn’t think they’d have the balls to kill off one half of FS, especially on-screen. I was literally expecting him to miraculously pull through and just have his legs amputated or something. It felt so surreal. Of course, then they brought CryoFitz back into play so really it was all just one big cop-out (figures) but the shock factor was definitely there. It was just the right amount of sad and downright distressing and even unsettling, with the way he didn’t fully comprehend what was happening and just…slipped away. I also really liked how they didn’t cheapen the moment by making it all about FS, which was… honestly such a nice surprise? I preferred the shocked and unaware approach they took, and how he spent his last moments with… kind of the two most unlikely people - May whom he hasn’t ever really bonded with, a relationship which is made especially awkward by their experience in the Framework and the ‘super villain interrogation’ in 5.15; and Mack, who literally told him days or even hours earlier that he needs ‘fixing.’ It was all very weird and bizarre and surprising, and definitely felt like a solid punch to the gut. At least, until they straight up announced they’re going to essentially retcon it… Eh. Also, Ophelia? Maybe less sad and more just downright disturbing and gratuitously violent and graphic. 

favorite season: If Season 1 and 4.16-20 and 5.14 could somehow be merged into one season… that would be it. lol. Overall, I have to say S1. Most people hate it and call it the weakest season and, sure, it felt very formulaic and had this predictable ‘monster of the week’ format at first but it was genuinely enjoyable to watch. Every other season after that I just found myself getting angry at something. lol. I actually liked pretty much every character in S1 to some degree and because nothing was set in stone or made explicitly canon yet, there was a lot more freedom shipping-wise. There was no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ ship, or ‘no you can’t like this character because of X, Y, Z’ it was just whatever you were into. For a while it seemed like pretty much all combinations of the Bus Kids ships had a decent chance of sailing. That’s a pretty damn good feeling. 

least favorite season: Hands down Season 5. I wasn’t a fan of Season 3 either (though admittedly I did like certain episodes/aspects of it) and Season 2 could’ve done without that whole ‘Real SHIELD’ plot but Season 5 takes the cake. I mean… seriously. It was a let down, especially after the hugely successful Framework arc (the show’s strongest point so far imo.) So naturally there was a lot of expectation and it kind of fell flat. They had maybe 2 or 3 strong episodes. The rest was riddled with plot holes, blatant fan service, lines that sounded like they pulled straight from fanfic, radical and often inexplicable shifts in character behaviour from one episode to the next that could be classified as borderline character assassination, frequent lack of continuity, too much time spent on characters that ultimately turned out to be irrelevant/got quickly killed off, writers seemingly forgetting what had happened in literally the previous episode, etc. There’s really no excuse for that mess. lol. Not to mention the at times pretty obvious budget cuts and the lack of decent lighting which made the space pod downright unwatchable at times. Really feels like the weakest, most disjointed and confused season of all. Which is a shame. Because it could’ve been great. But it just really… wasn’t.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I don’t want to say Jemma but… Jemma? I guess part of the problem is that I feel there tends to be a discrepancy between the actual canonic on-screen representation of Jemma and fanon Jemma, at least in my experience. She (and Daisy) seem to get put on this imaginary pedestal a lot of the time and given leeway and all these concessions that other characters aren’t allowed. Sometimes I think I hate fandom’s approach to and treatment of certain characters more than I hate the actual character. Also, Mack and Bobbi? I feel like they’re pretty massive fandom faves as well and I never really got invested in them. I don’t hate them, they’re just… Meh. 

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Leopold, the ultimate trash fave. Hehe. He’s just so deliciously messed up and complex and it’s so much fun to explore all of that. He’s like the one villain AOS completely unintentionally got right. Magnetic, charismatic, complicated. Sure, he only ever really shows up in about five episodes but in those five or six episodes they build a really solid character. We’re not told or shown everything, but that’s the point. Sometimes the implication is enough - and it’s super fun to fill in those gaps. And those suits. I mean, c’mon. lol

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Literally no one on this show is a cinnamon roll anymore. lol. I think Ophelia easily could’ve had a really satisfying redemption arc if the writers were actually willing to get into that instead of just shelving their more complex characters and turning to the safe option of ‘let’s kill the baddie.’ Ward could’ve possibly been redeemed too (up to a certain point at least) but I guess part of his appeal is that he didn’t want to be? Uh… and out of the still alive ones (kind of??), Fitz. He’s had a really tough time literally since S2. I also liked Mace and Radcliffe and I kind of wish they got to stick around for a bit longer.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: Fitz/Ophelia. Obviously. I guess one of the more weirder ones is Hive/Stephanie. That’s… not remotely canon (I mean, I guess they kissed? lol) but in my headcanon Framework verse it is. Let’s be honest, there’s probably tons more because I always latch on to the more obscure stuff, but I can’t really think of anything else at the moment.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Philinda and Mackelena. I don’t ship either but I guess I can kind of see the appeal and I wish them all the best for the sake of the shippers because both of these pairings are frequently overshadowed by… well, the main ship. I can totally understand and sympathize with their frustration. 

[princessofhearts19]

For the writing ask 1-54

😂😂 😂😂 you are so cute and precious and I love you so much

As requested through text, all inserts about specific stories are for Namjoon’s Babygirl. For the WIP though (19-21) I did it for a work I haven’t posted any of yet (mwahaha)

1) Starbucks, but really any coffee shop

2) Daydreaming before I actually start, I love watching my characters in my head

3) EDITING

4) I don’t think so… I will randomly stop writing and stare off into the distance while I think though 

5) Hemingway and Faulkner have probably influenced how I’d like to write the most

6) My portrayal of Yoongi in Daddy Yoongi (He. Is. Bae.)

7) Mary Shelley :)

8) Friends to lovers

9) The lover dies

10) Cassandra Claire! We would write about timetraveling men and twisted romances. 

11) Day dream, forget, daydream, talk about it a lot, start writing, edit, pause, write more, talk a lot more, finish writing, edit, read out loud, post

12) Honestly the comments people leave on my fics help a lot, and my friends validation is always really meaningful to me

13) I kinda just make frustrated sounds and tap my computer mindlessly… or walk away from the story for awhile

14) I have looked up grocery stores and public transportation systems in South Korea because I want to be accurate and respectful xD

15) Other people and other people’s writing

16)  I think what motivates me is that I want to create something that other people will enjoy

17) Ha… I haven’t written consistently in a while… I usually don’t go more than 2 weeks without writing something, on an average day for a story I can probably do 2-5 pages 

18) I read it out loud and edit as I go or I delete huge chunks and rewrite them

19) “I need to tell you something.”

20) “I thought I was the love you life,” Hoseok teased, grinning at you playfully. You blew him a kiss that he pretended to catch. 

“Um, mine?,” Yoongi shot Hoseok a look before kissing your neck again and nipping at you lightly.

“Yours,” you echoed back with a giggle. 

21) “Yeah,” Taehyung agreed, “Yoongi is lucky.”

22) The less the better? Usually like three at this point… like I said, I hate editing

23) Multi is easier and more fun for me because I feel like I can include more and avoid the “person A overheard person B” trope. I usually do single POV though.

24) I don’t know… I love both poetry and prose… I think I might lean towards poetry though

25) Linear is easier, non-linear is more interesting 

26) Probably stand alone just cause I think my attention span is too short for series

27) I share rough drafts with like 2 people I trust

28) Gela and Jess

29) My readers

30) “Maybe in the next lifetime then”

31) Jungkook… ever… always…

32) Reader in reader inserts

33) Sometimes, I prefer white noise though

34) Typed notes

35) Jungkook was really insecure during his trainee days and thought about dropping out of training a lot, reader was the main reason he didn’t

36) Reader overhears someone talking (littles… littles everywhere…)

37) “It may have already been written, but it hasn’t been written by you”

38) I shared it with Gela, they’re not a little or into little space fics but they were very supportive and helped me catch plot holes

39) With original characters, not intentionally, but I do find glimpses of my friends in my characters. Even in fanfics I use some of my friends personalities to help me figure out plot and dialogue

40) Currently fan fiction because I already have a setting and characters so I’m not starting from scratch, I think it’s good practice

41) I try to do no more than 2 or 3 but I have gotten up to 5 before

42) I think I figure out my plot first and then backtrack to how I need my character to act in order for that to work, sometimes my characters decide for themselves though. When I do original characters I try to make them diverse. I’m white but I don’t want all my characters to be white. Representation is important. 

43) I try to be

44) “Slow down and expand on your more emotional scenes”

45) “You don’t understand mental illness/depression”

46) I don’t know honestly..

47) Plot

48) Romantic fiction with a sad twist

49) The middle

50) Oh god.. umm… I’ve had some pretty weird ideas for smut?? >.

51)  Bubbles, pacifiers, storybooks, and Namjoon’s clothes

52) It gave me an outlet to express and understand myself better

53) Writing means a lot me because I feel like the way and author and reader connect without ever interacting is just amazing and magical

54) JUST DO IT!!! The more you write the better you’ll get, and not everyone’s gonna like you’re writing and that’s okay, Do you

Wow! That was really long! I am sorry everyone! On the bright side… the next chapter of Namjoon’s Babygirl will be up very soon :) 

[flyingcatstiel]

Rules: Always post the rules, answer the questions given to you, then write 10 questions of your own, and tag 10 other people.

Tagged by @procasdeanating  

Thank you for tagging me! Let’s have some TMI time on this blog for all my lovely followers. 

1. If you could start a one week vacation tomorrow, where would you go?  London, probably? Never have been to an English speaking country. 

2. What skill do you have that would come handy in an apocalyptic world? When I was a child, I spent a bunch of summers on my grandparents’ farm. There’s only electricity and radio, no running water or plumbing, or TV. So, I’d like to think that I’m mentally prepared to live in a world with very basic utilities. 

3. Favorite episode last season? Um. OK, here’s the deal. I watched SPN on a very crappy stream, so crappy that I actually skipped couple of Cas-less episodes because I didn’t want to upset my laptop. So, [goes to Wiki to check s12 episode list], ok, I see. I think I'll stick to Cas’ eps, 12x10 and 12x12. I’ll have better answer after I get my hands on s12 DVD set. 

4. Can you play an instrument or do you plan to learn? Can’t play, no plans to learn. 

5. Raspberries or strawberries? Fresh strawberries, raspberry jam. 

6. Who do you want to see brought back in the Alternative Universe next season? This is like an exercise in representation. Do I want back my awesome ladies (Jo, Ellen, Charlie, Billie) or do I want my POC chars (Gordon, Rufus, Kevin) or should I keep my wishes secret in case they’re brought back and killed off again (hello Sarah B and Joshua)? In that case, ghostbusters. You can bring them back and kill them. And I still cling to hope that Eileen is actually alive in this universe. Please don’t bring her back in AU and set up a romance with Sam. People are not interchangeable . 

7. First movie you saw at a cinema? Ouch, that was a very long time ago. I’ll go with the first movie that made me to go to the cinema to see it for the second time. It’s an old Russian movie “Hussar Ballad” about a girl dressing up in boys clothes and joining Russian army to fight Napoleon. Come to think of it, little me already had an anonymity kink back then. Huh. Also, “My Fair Lady” made a huge impression when I saw it on the big screen (hello teacher/student kink!). Please note, these movies are bloody old and I DIDN’T see them when they’re first released, omg, I’m not that ancient. I saw reruns in cinema much, much later. To show how non-linear my “movies at the cinema” timeline is - I saw Disney’s The Little Mermaid roughly when it was released, which happened only couple of years after I saw Disney’s “Snow white” for the first time ever and in the cinema. 

8. Favorite version of Cas? I’ll go with original Cas. The one we met in 4x01 and lost in 12x23. I’m here for his journey, for his character development. I mean, I also love steve!cas but that was only one episode and I needed moar of human Cas in s9.

9. If you could choose a song as a music cue next season, what would it be and for which scene would you use it? No idea. I’m not very well versed in recent music trends. 

10. This weekend is VanCon. What question would you ask the cast if you were there? You. Don’t want. Me. To ask them questions. I’m still too bitter about everything. I’d end up asking something like - it took only four years, killing a reaper, almost dying and confessing his love to the Winchesters for Cas to finally get a room in the bunker. Who’s idea it was to give Cas a room and who did the actual giving, Sam or Dean? Or was it Mary? So, let’s go with a simple question, and if somebody knows the answer, please tell me, I honestly don’t know -  what is Misha’s status in season 13? Is he regular with usual 10-11 eps (or less) or a guest star? 

My ten questions:

1. How many languages do you speak? List them, even if still learning or already forgetting.  2. Favorite Dean/Cas moment on the show? 3. Favorite fanfic tropes in destiel fics? 4. Fruit or vegetable you don’t like (mango is not an acceptable answer, pick another one) 5. Tell me about a destiel fic you’ve read recently and really enjoyed. [please include title, author and link] 6. Which one of your own (recent) fan works (fic, art, gif set, vid, side blog, etc) you are proud of? If you don’t have any, give a shout out to a (recent) fan work that you really loved. [any fandom, please include title, creator and link] 7. Recommend me a new TV show to take my mind of SPN. Tell me why it will help.  8. Are you going to watch season 13 of Supernatural? If not, when did you stop watching the show? (I’d love to know why but you don’t have to justify your decision) 9. Cats or dogs? 10. What is your happy ending for Cas on the show?

Feel free to ignore this but hey, this hiatus is kinda boring! Please tag me if you answer and I’ll reblog everything -  @no-gorms, @kyrie101, @purgatory-jar @whelvenwings, @thebloggerbloggerfun, @thestoryinsideme, @hannibalstan, @unforth-ninawaters, @justanearth-boundmisfit, @some-people-call-it-tragic @destielonfire

and back atcha - @procasdeanating!

[superbatson]

groundhog day: a review

this got really long and became pretty much organized by song

here we go!

first off, the staging and choreography for this show is fantastic, i knew that right from the opening number. and each of the character's unique looks was very refreshing, especially considering how used to the costuming for jersey boys.

"small town, usa" is definitely a favorite song, has been since i listened to the soundtrack. phil is such an asshole in the beginning and andy does a great job playing him.

also rita dances a little when the ensemble breaks out into the groundhog jingle and it's???? so???? cute???? she is precious, protect her. (though she can probably handle herself, lol)

phil being a dick to the homeless guy was not cool, what an asshole

i can't remember the full line but the shorter cop's joke about the blizzard being a donut was great

i can't remember day two as much, ahh

day three was interesting. i like to title it existential crisis, the musical. it's just phil freaking the fuck out for three minutes. always kind of fun to listen to on the soundtrack, but the reactions were a little less exaggerated in the show, but it works, because you can see it. the soundtrack is, obviously, all sound, so you have to picture everything.

"stuck" has always been another favorite song of mine. honestly, i have so many faves in this show. why didn't tim get the tony for lyrics? ugh! 

anyway, the performance is even better. so, so funny. the enema part had everyone laughing, and i was too. again, choreography: a+

"nobody cares" is such a bop!!!! we had an understudy for ralph, i'll find the name later, but he was great. the choreography with the shot glasses was so clever, and was clearly inspired by THAT pitch perfect song.

(also, the car chase with the toy cars? hilarious. that aspect of the show, using toy cars to mimic driving, was also clever and very funny.)

the initial cop chase was hilarious too, with the guys holding the cars. ugh, i loved this show!!!

(also phil probably has a bondage kink bc tight handcuffs, pass it on)

(oh and a pain kink)

(i don't write smut but this show gave a fair amount of opportunity for kinks, okay?)

philandering was fun. the sex with nancy was... interesting. andy and rebecca were probably just standing there making sex noises, right? i can only imagine how hard it was to keep a straight face the first time they rehearsed that number.

(that was the number with him on the bed basically having a threesome, right? or foursome. there was a dude there. phil connors, bisexual icon.)

oh my god the diner scene. is it possible to be attracted to legs? bc andy has some nice ones. oh wow.

his acl must be doing better, though. it looked like just a compression sock-type thing was on. i'm glad he's feeling better.

(this was the song where he was even more of an asshole, right? bc it was so funny. i laughed the most here in act one, probably bc i didn't know what to expect, for once.)

"one day" is the best song in the show and you can fight me. barrett is amazing. definition of the word queen. where is her damn tony?

so, act two.

"playing nancy" is underrated. i was never a huge fan, but mostly bc i didn't know the character. now that i do, i love the song even more, and rebecca has a beautiful voice.

the next scene literally left me in shock. i knew phil's suicide was coming, but the way it happened - wow. he grabs the gun and goes beserk. he shoots the groundhog and then himself. my jaw was dropped until the spotlight came back on him in bed.

where "one day" is barrett's time to shine, "hope" is andy's. yes, he's the lead, he's been carrying songs the entire time, but this song features his absolute best vocals. i had chills. i think there were bits in this song, maybe when he kept ending up back in bed (what kind of sorcery is that? how do they do it? my mom literally asked me during the song and i was like "i have no idea"), or walked out with the covers, where people were laughing, and i didn't like it. feel what you want during a show, but suicide is not something to be taken lightly. i was close to tears during this song. absolutely amazing.

give andy karl a tony you cowards.

anywho, "everything about you" is beautiful. i loved that rita knew, even if she forgot the next day. i think it was a great development in their relationship. of course she hated him at first, but he kept changing, and i loved the trust they began to have in one another.

"night will come" also hit really hard. seeing the guy die over and over was not easy to watch, and i can only imagine how phil felt. but he kept trying, and i guess he just accepted that fate in the end, right? kinda the whole point of the song. and now knowing who the "her" was in the song also hit really hard. poor ned. such a sweet man, does not deserve that kind of pain and sorrow.

sorry if my comments are becoming repetitive, but "philanthropy" is also fun. very all over the place. i love the choreography. and phil's change in character. the tin man does have a heart after all! (does that count as a wicked reference? bc i would love to make jokes about andy's other roles. there are just... so many...)

gonna skip over punxsutawney rock bc it's kinda forgetful...

"seeing you" leaves me in tears every time. from andy's soft, sweet vocals to the scenery. gorgeous song, gorgeous performance. i loved it so much.

and for the record, i am phil/rita trash. i am ready to write 10,000 soulmate aus for them. or any au. just give me all the fics. (the show has an ao3 tag now and i am ready to read everything.)

the ending is one of the best parts of the show. i was so happy phil got out of the loop, and i was a little surprised to see that rita spent the night. but i definitely don't think they slept together in /that/ way. i can see them being up late, talking about life and the snow and the town, and rita conks out and phil just smiles and falls asleep next to her. (probably doesn't really touch her much bc he knows she has boundaries.)

(look at me, already writing the fic. i'm shipper trash, boom.)

so, yeah, amazing show overall. i would love to go back, but bronx tale is my next must-see before its leads leave. (richard, most importantly, but i really wanna see bobby too bc he is phenomenal on the soundtrack - but anyway.) but who knows if i'll even get to see another show this year? last year was an unusual circumstance, with jersey boys closing and all.

i gotta talk characters real quick bc i love them all!!! fred and debbie were precious lil beans. ned was nice, and i think i've seen people ship him with phil and now i see why. nancy was sweet and thankfully got a happy ending (with the camera guy!!! aww!!!). the mayor was funny (when he talked to phil the groundhog in the bar, it had the theater laughing every single time). ralph and his drinking pal were fun and lowkey gay. (they're dating shhh.)

also!!!! the waiter guy - billy? - was dancing with the shorter cop guy (i forget his name!!!) during "seeing you" and i almost screamed. not huge representation, but still there and quite cute. (and the fact that billy's accidental coming out was glossed over and not a big deal was v great to see.)

rita is my feminist queen and i love her. 

phil is... a dick. but a redeemable one at that, as he proved in the show. i love him too and am totally adopting him, lol. he needs protection (but rita probably has that covered).

i would totally give the show a 9/10. again, would love to see a second time. such a fun show with a lot of heart. i felt so at home in august wilson, i would go back once a year if i could.

[beowulfs-booty-call]

1 13 15 30

Had to listen to Studio Killers for this ask because I can just feel the maturity for this one.

1. describe your idea of a perfect date

Imagine, me and someone at a café somewhere. Maybe the city, maybe their hometown, maybe even my own spot.

The place is warm, the weather is slightly cold, but not too cold you can’t wear just a flannel and jeans (Wow, Beo, real easy subtle there.) but we just sit inside this real cozy cafe, its all old school, there’s jazz by George Benson playing like this

We’re locking eyes, me and them. The drinks are warm, but they’re not scalding, I’m writing in my little travel journal about the place, about the atmosphere, so on, maybe even doodles of the person. 

There’s light jokes strewn here and there, there’s nothing stiff about it, there’s fingers graze across mine on accent, and we both recline back out of fluster and second hand embarrassment. The person and I both apologize, but I tell ‘em I don't mind, it was warm. Slowly, we put our hands together and we can't get them off, we’re holding hands together, sipping our drinks and just talking about life, our hopes and dreams, the good stuff chai lattes were made for. 

The song’s picking up pitch, they know I’m tapping to the beat as the rain starts coming down. It’s light, it’s cool, and I’ve no umbrella with me, just me, my backpack, and my wallet/keys/phone. I gesture out to the rain, they nod.

We don’t know where we’re going, but we take our drinks and dash out in the rain like children. The song’s stuck in my head, like some big montage in a musical number, we hit up merchant shops, gemstone and oddities stores, my eyes bug out when I noticed a skull box or a cursed mirror for sale.

The entire me and that person don’t let go of each other’s hands, they’re stuck and we don’t give a damn. I roll up my sleeves to buckle down to nab us something to eat but its just comedic, I flip up, the person can’t help but laugh because I messed up an order (like I ordered chicken but the person brings a lobster dinner fit for two) and things are okay, I’ve nothing on my calendar or scheduled so it’s an adventure. 

And we end it at midnight, watching the stars and moon, my flannel’s all roughed up from some of the coffee they drank, and my shirt’s beginning to smell like them, because we’re cuddling on the grass on a hill overlooking the moon and clouds. My collars all wrinkled, I have a smudge of food still on my cheek that’s smudged off, and my ears are all red. 

We whisper sweet little nothings to each other, and its a big old debate whether or not to really get up. When we do, though, it’s still the fact that the night’s here and people have to sleep.

How we get home, no one knows, but we do, wether by truck or train. And we part, the person and I, maybe a hug, maybe a kiss on the cheek, but I feel something slipped into my pocket, or in my hands, or even when I leave I check for my keys and find something.

A little thing to remind myself of that date, maybe the receipt of the cafe where someone scrawled “You two look great together...!” or maybe a trinket from a shop.

All I know is, I’d never forget being someone’s adventure that day, or being someone’s travel partner.

13. what is a misconception you had about lgb people before you realized you were one?

I actually didn’t think there was the LGBT until about a good well number of years back. Yes, I knew about drag queens and other themes of the LGBT com. and such, but man, when I was younger I was fostered on the “You’re going to hell if you like the same gender or want to be the gender you felt you should have been born as” and Ironically when around the same time I became a witch, I realized the community was there.

You see, I knew about the community, but not as the official term, much less, the community was more than few people. It was terrible feeling that way, because I was in the closet for so very long. It was terrible being yelled at for crossing my legs or accidentally saying, “Well, I think you look good, so, I like you like that.” to some guy in high school and having people gawk at you, or being called a woman by my own father because of my voice and because I gestured with my hands.

My sexuality was questioned a lot, because, I was rather vague about myself, I had my interests, and while I had my life in front of me, many times I felt alone because of it. Was there people who felt the same way as me? Were there others who felt it was fine falling in love with a man or woman?

Are my feelings valid?

I made the mistake of believing there weren’t people out there who supported my life or my being, because it was so easy seeing how we were treated because of it. We had the episode of the Golden Girls where Blanche’s brother was gay and he was the butt of a few jokes, but also Blanche’s rage until Sophia stepped in, we were and are the butt of jokes at times, including on tv and cartoons in implications, but we were there. And it hurt. I felt it was awful how we were restricted for being who we were, and I felt worse for really thinking there wasn’t people who wasn’t like me because of the way I feel about people.

But, that mistake belied that in the end, we weren't represented as much as we are now, and still need to be. Kids need that support and representation I for one, didn't receive until nowadays because it causes them to worry, as well as mistake the heteronormative way we grow up as the be all - end all, and that scared the shiitake mushrooms out of me back then. Your parents could love you, but would they love after you finally had the guts to say, “Hey, mom and dad, remember how there’s always the notion that a man and woman need to get married? Yeah, well, I as a guy, love both genders / Men.” is the fear most gay kids would have, and vice versa for Lesbians as well. Even worse for my trans peeps who felt uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned with / wanted to become the person they wanted to be (If my language isn’t appropriate, please do tell me, and I’ll tailor it as needed by you!). Like, it’s so easy to feel alone when you were never really represented as anything but, “Oh, xyz? Oh you mean (Insert trope like Lesbians being written off / flamboyant gay men / crossdressing as a “joke” trope)” And you get put off by it so much you try thinking, “maybe I’m wrong” or “Maybe, I will go to hell, because this is bad.” And it’s not. At. All.

15. (if attracted to more than one gender) do you have different “types” for different genders?

I somehow knew this was coming so, *Cracks knuckles* let’s get to it, Sailor Style™ :

I’m a huge Sailor Venus fan, so, I pride myself on being able to love many people and “types” of people, of both guys and gals. 

Guys: BIG. THICC. MEN. 

LIKE

GIVE ME YOUR HAIRY, BIG, BELLIED AND SKINNY AND EVEN BUFF MEN WHO NEED SOME LOVING AND I AM HERE. 

I love thicc guys because, well, I love the idea of having someone bigger than me on some aspects. That said, I’m kinda a big guy myself at 178 pounds and at 6′2 (I believe is the last I scaled myself or an inch off) and I also don’t mind someone smaller so to speak. Really, I’m the sort who falls for all kinds of men, because, I seriously love boys. 

But I also love guys who know about themselves well enough too. I’m the guy who wants to share himself in a relationship. Not in the sense that I’m making it all about me, but in a relationship, imo, you’re sharing both of yourselves in it. Interests, love, commitment, it’s all there. I want to grow as a person and lover, and I want to share that growing person with someone. If you can’t handle that, you’d best find someone else, unfortunately. 

Also, Daddy types are my thing too, I’m leaning onto the archetype too, lol, but that’s a different story all together. My thing is, if a guy is big, bonus points, he got a belly? Extra points. He got abs and or pecs to die for? He’s got me all the way there. Hairy? Love it. No hair? Just as nice. 

Scared no one likes their body because they’re “too” (Skinny, big, etc etc) I’ll kiss them fears away. Confident in his life choices or isn’t as much and wants to better himself? Sign me tf up.

He can pay for my college ed because I can satisfy him? Fuck me up then.

Also like, jocks and bodybuilders are also kind of a thing for me with the way I train, but my guy, consider really nerdy guys who are like, big gentle giants and are really BIG and like dogs. Yes.

Pretty boys just don’t do it for me though.

They just don’t.

Girls: Really, I just love girls who are girls. Women are already kinda amazing on their own, so, like, the bar isn’t set up at all because in general I feel like if a girl is ready to share herself and sharing myself with her, we’re really fine.

If someone can match me in terms of books / literature, I give bonus points, but I just love girls who are confident in themselves. Like,

“I can make the fucking world burn, but you’d be damned if you cross me.”?

Yeah, I’m their biggest fan.

Really. Big women, small women, girls who read a lot, girls who exercise a lot, it doesn’t really “matter” per say because in the end, I know that I really do like them just being, well, themselves. It’s vague af compared to guys, and I apologize for that, but I lean more to guys, and girls wise, I’m more into the type of girl who can rock the world, and me, to the very core. So, when it comes to girls, I’m more submissive because I simply like girls who could really take me for a spin so to speak. (Plus I’m weak for women who could legit you know, suplex a guy.) 

Realistically, strong women, girls who have no problem with a little meat on their bones or rolls on their bodies (We all have em tbh), really romantic girls.

Like, Allura is a great example of the type of girl I’m into. She’s strong, she’s intellectual about the galaxy and in the world as a whole, but she’s got purpose. Make her chubby, and she’s still the same Altean princess who can kick ass. Make her buff, and she can literally squat using the Paladins. It doesn’t change that I’d admire her still.

Apologies if it’s not more defined...!

Non Binary: Really, I can’t say per say, but really, both genders apply too. Like, if you are big, small, tall or short, it doesn’t matter. I’d still love someone who’s confident in themselves. It’s hard really explaining my types, because, I have never really organized them, so much as think of them. But, I’ll still fall in love with your scars, your rolls, your arms, legs, everything some way or another. I really do pride myself over that fact, small as it may seem to some.

Being able to lift me over her shoulders and bench press me or squat is a huge af bonus point award for both / all genders tbh.

30. what is a piece of advice for people who may not be in a safe place to express their sexuality

Know you’re not alone!!!I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!

Don’t be like me feeling icky because people told him being gay / bi was “Icky and sinful UwU”. Don’t be me who stayed up at night feeling like throwing up because I felt if I dreamed of falling in love with a man, I’d burn in hell. Don’t also ever feel guilty for looking at a guy or gal, and thinking, “Damn, I’d totally love to wake up in the morning next to them.”

(We can’t prove hell really exists, so, don’t also be indoctrinated to that idea either, kiddos.)

 And, don't ever feel that you are gross because you are different. Celebrate it instead and be you when you’re able to, even if it’s online only, or even alone only. Those small celebrations are what makes life worth it.

Also, do find others who are LGBT too, because it HELPS, even if they’re only allies, being able to talk about things are all you need to worry at times, you don’t have to be out, but to your friends who understand? That’s a big relief imo.

Also, because I’m in one myself rn, don't be afraid to subtly express yourself the way you want to. Fashion wise, it’s slightly easier, words, “eh”, but if that means you watching a good LGBT repping show at night with earbuds, don’t even think a second thought and you tell me how it was.

You watch those shows that make you happy, and you do the same, but make sure to always look over your shoulder, always have a tab on yourself, and never give into the pressures people place on you. Never give the pressures keeping you back any chance. Online may be a safe space for you, maybe, the only one there is, but know, later on in life, you will be free to finally be you, and when you do?

I’ll be so proud of you. So, if you can’t be yourself outside the computer, don’t fret over it. You’ve a right to vent out to someone, much less, a therapist or even on your blog, but do right to yourself. If that means cutting off some people, do it. If that means not supporting their beliefs, by all means.

+ Don’t ever, ever, ever try to deny yourself if you really know yourself. You are your best friend in that scenario, because if you’re like me, you don’t really have anyone else near you or in front of yourself. So take care of yourself. Mentally, physically, and spiritually. And do not ever think for one second that you don’t belong or you don’t deserve to exist or live because you feel you are comfortable with someone of the same gender, or because you feel you should be yourself but haven't had the opportunity to do so because of society / your parents / other toxic stuff. 

Instead, do your best, take it all in, cry if you can or want to when you’re alone, and push on and be the best fucking you there’ll ever be. Because honeys, if you can’t love yourself, who the hell is gonna love somebody else without some real self love? So be proud, be you on the inside, and keep on fighting till you’re away and ready to be you. You’re gonna be a wonderful person when you’re away from all this mess some day in the future. And I can’t wait to see the person you become / are, that day.

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/kim-rhodes-briana-buckmaster-talk-supernatural-waywardaf/

Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster talk 'Supernatural' and WaywardAF

When one of our Movie TV Tech Geeks family members has something new out, we love to help promote it, especially when it’s something that every Supernatural fan will want to get their hands on. Lynn Zubernis, who writes some pretty in-depth and intense Supernatural recap reviews, has her latest book hitting on May 9 Family Don’t End With Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Has Changed Lives (You can order it here), has interviewed nearly everyone from the show, and we’re happy to run her ‘best ofs’ leading up to her book launch. If you want to attend her Los Angeles book launch check it out here. Her latest book features With contributions by Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Jim Beaver, Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Osric Chau, Matt Cohen, Ruth Connell, Gil McKinney, Rachel Miner and Kim Rhodes, and a Dozen Passionate Fans! Check out her classic interview with Misha Collins and Jim Beaver. Check out when we interviewed Lynn on her own Supernatural experiences. Check out exclusive excerpts from Lynn’s upcoming book! Now for Kim and Briana – Here’s a joint interview we did with both Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster, which as you can imagine we couldn’t print all of it, but suffice it to say, we had FUN! And were Wayward AF. Both Briana and Kim wrote about the Wayward AF phenomenon in their chapters in FDEWB, and how their experience with this show and this fandom has changed them… This interview was so huge, we had to put it into two parts. You can check out part 2 here if you want to jump ahead. Life has been crazy, both for me and for Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster – let’s just say they’ve been #WaywardAF and the fandom has embraced them every step of the way. I hope you got your tee shirt and sent your support, because if there was ever a slogan that fit our fandom, this one is it. The campaign was a tremendous success, both doing good in the world with Random Acts and inspiring all of us with the reminder that being #WaywardAF (and being REAL) is a very good thing. I had the pleasure of chatting with Kim and Briana at Houscon this spring to talk about their Season 11 episodes (Plush and Don’t You Forget About Me) – I’d call it an interview, except it was at least as much off topic and off the record as it was interview – but here are the printable parts of what we had so much fun talking about. Or in other words, Kim and Briana and Lynn all get #WaywardAF. And are pretty damn happy about it. I’ll pick up where I’m going on about how much we love having them at conventions. Because we do! In fact, I can’t wait to see them at Pittcon next weekend. Lynn: What people like so much about you two, I think, is that we finally have women who seem like us! Briana: Representation, yay! Kim: [laughing] Yeah, they’re tired and they’re angry and they cuss and they love people and they hate people… Briana and Lynn: [laughing] Kim: I think one of the things I so appreciate – because Briana and I really complement each other – but one of the things I think we both have in our strong wheel house is that we aren’t afraid to let an ugly truth show if it’s the truth. Like truth trumps pretty for both of us. Briana: Yeah, agreed. Kim and Briana (and Ruth) get real onstage: [gallery columns="2" size="medium" link="file" ids="46022,46023"] Kim: And that is, I think, how all people feel. Like they wanna move through the world but it’s gotta be pretty hard. I can imagine – and I’m only imagining this – but if I really respected someone’s work and their work meant a lot to me, and then when I got to meet them, they had a wall of perfection up, I’d be like oh, I can’t relate to that because I’m not perfect, I’m imperfect and broken and flawed and ME. And it would just create distance. Briana: Mm hmm. Kim: So I think something that we both consciously do, because it’s a part of us, and also because it’s important to us, is we’re like “Ah, broken, isn’t that awesome?” Kim and Briana: It’s just like yeahhhh, yep, here we gooooooooooooo! Lynn: It’s so funny, I just flew here from an academic conference, where I chair the Stardom and Fandom area… Kim and Briana: Oh cool! Lynn: So it was two days of academic papers and there was a panel comparing the old model of stardom, which was like manufactured perfection… Briana: Right, 1940s Hollywood, right? Lynn: Right, even when they were sitting by the pool, they had full makeup and hair done and so people couldn’t relate, but that’s what the publicity machine wanted. But that’s not powerful! Kim: Not anymore. Lynn: No, it’s changing, even if you’re a ‘celebrity’ you can interact with fans in twitter, or in person at conventions, so that barrier is different. But on the other hand, when you first started doing cons and let the F word fly, Kathy and I looked at each other and were like, oh, can a woman get away with that or only Sebastian? I felt like it was iffy in the beginning. Kim: Oh it was SO iffy, my character hadn’t been consistent on the show, and if I hadn’t had a twitter following… Lynn: But they also saw the fan reaction, and it was so positive. Kim: They had women who represented their concept of what they should be, and then I came in and I’m like, I’m old, I’m angry, I’ve got a kid, I’m tired, WTF is up with this? Lynn: You were real. And fandom welcomed that – obviously! Okay, so we should talk about Supernatural. Briana, your last episode, Plush. Briana: [laughing] That feels like a century ago! Lynn: I know, but it was such an interesting episode. And it bodes well for your character that the boys actually called her a hunter. Briana: I know! We were just talking about that, that they made her a hunter. And how some characters are just assumed and some are proclaimed a hunter. I think it was necessary for Donna, and it’s a bit like, okay, so what are they going to do with this character? Because they could have just ended the episode with bye… Kim: Yep, okay, see ya soon… Briana: But they said, you’re a hunter now, so there’s a reason they did that, but I don’t know anything, I’m not alluding to that. But it seems like they do have a plan for Donna. Lynn: At the very least, they left the door open. Briana: Right? That was probably my favorite part of the episode. Lynn: Did you have that strong reaction to it when you read the script? Briana: Oh yeah, yeah. [caption id="attachment_46027" align="aligncenter" width="535"] Hunters! Cap S_Verasani[/caption] Kim: We always are like, what’s in your script? What’s in your script? The first thing I asked her, I was like – you would tell me if you died, right? Briana: Oh yes, but [to Kim] you tweeted something that said guys – and you did the right thing , you were protecting yourself – but you said I’m not in charge of whether I live or die, ever. And I said that to my husband and he was like NO, and I said, I think she would have told me! But maybe she can’t or won’t, and I was like please don’t kill her off! Lynn: We were ALL like that! And for Donna too. Kim: Yeah, Donna’s not only the call in sheriff now, so you can travel anywhere, but she’s also a hunter. Lynn: I think this is the first time they’ve introduced a character that is not a hunter and then pronounced them a hunter. Briana: Other than Claire now Lynn: Right, just with the last episode she was in. Briana: But what about Jody? Kim: Jody is very specifically not a hunter. I teach hunters. Briana: I don’t think you’re not specifically not a hunter, I think you just haven’t been proclaimed a hunter… Kim: I think Jody was like, meh, that’s fine, I’ve got other shit I’ve gotta do. I don’t think she’s upset about it. Briana: Yeah, no. Kim: It’s not like I’m sitting there waiting to be anointed a hunter. Lynn: No, but she’s been proven a badass many times over. Briana and Kim: YES. Briana: And if the boys went ‘what? OMG I’m so sorry,…’ I think that’s totally what they’d do, like ‘OMG you’re totally a hunter! OMG OMG’ – I think that’s what it would be. Kim: I don’t think Jody is sitting next to the phone, I think she’s like I’ve got enough shit on my plate, if you need me I’ll be there, but right now, I have 50 million other things I’m trying to deal with. Briana: Exactly. Kim: Just with the human world. Briana: It’s so funny, we were just having this conversation in the green room. I think Claire amd Donna are like ‘Let’s go, what are we waiting for? Let’s go hunt!’ In different ways, Claire is like AHHH I’m gonna get ‘em! Kim: Well she’s young and she’s kinda emo about it. Briana: And Jody kinda wants to rein them in, she is the teacher about it a little bit…In different ways, but I think that’s kinda the fun thing about Jody not having to be called a hunter is that she can bow in and out of that because she is busy. She’s like, you guys are good? Ok I’m gonna go over here and save this town. Kim: Exactly Briana: But I think she’s the ultimate hunter, she’s the one that’s been around the longest. Lynn: I mean, she is a hunter, she just hasn’t been called that. But I feel like it made sense with Donna – that whole episode was about Donna’s evolution into independence and being aware of her own strength and her path of healing from all that shit, and that kinda fits with – like the next phase of my life, I’m gonna go kick some ass! Briana: That’s a good point, they did kinda like button up that part of Donna, so they made her a hunter at the end of the day and had her come around to Doug and say I’m sorry I was acting that way towards you. And then, that feels like it’s done. Which is a relief for Briana the actress. Lynn: Say more. Briana: I just want – but this is just me, the writers have a plan for the character, but me as an actress and also as a fan and an audience member, I just don’t want to watch women talk about boys all the time. Lynn: Then it would stop passing the Bechdel test. Briana: I know that damaged goods can influence your future and your present, but it doesn’t have to be talked about all the time. Lynn: Or in a relationship way always. I mean, Dean is damaged goods, but… Briana: And we all know that, but we don’t talk about it every episode. Lynn: Right. Briana: So I get that they need to get all that stuff out. Lynn: That was a lot of character development in one episode. Briana: I know, I know. In Kim’s episode too. Lynn: Briana, you and I have talked about this before – because Donna was introduced in an episode that was sort of about her weight, they’ve kind of kept that going, and I was a little put off in Plush when she pulled out the salt and said oh my diet secret, I pour it on my food… I mean, I’m not sure anyone in the fandom was laughing. Briana: I know, I know. I thought maybe, did they have to comment on the fact that I was slimmer, or that they needed to find an arc for my character, I don’t know why… Lynn: I think they did feel they had to comment on that, but was it really relevant right there? Briana: Right, who cares? Exactly. I think sometimes audiences are smarter than they think. Kim: There’s two levels there – on the one hand, it’s offensive to think that anyone’s validity and existence needs — that anyone has the right to comment on a character’s weight, that weight is at all a part of a person. But the other thing is, did the fans think, ‘was that Donna?’ Did they know she’s lost weight? Lynn: Right, like everyone was watching going omg Donna’s lost weight! Or wait, is that Donna?! Briana: Like what’s her diet secret! Is she exercising? No, you’re 100% right. I’m very grateful and I love my character, but Kim and I talk all the time about why is it so hard to write for women? Why not just write a script and go well, a woman can say that and a man can say that. Why are the words not interchangeable? Lynn: They should be. Although, it’s really interesting, Jenny Klein wrote the episode that Richard just directed, Just My Imagination, and there was a reference in that episode to a male character’s weight, which is also unusual, but they did it in a positive way, like the fat saved my life. Briana: In a loving way Lynn: And I love Jenny Briana: Me too, and I think that was a smart thing to do. [Kim comes back with throat lozenges and water, since they both were coughing] Briana [laughing] We used to be all cookies and coffee and now we’re all lozenges and water! [Everyone hydrates] Briana: I guess I like the fact that Donna likes food – I like food, and I think that’s a great character trait. But I don’t think it needs to be something she battles, that’s the unfortunate part of that. Lynn: The whole episode was about Donna’s independence, both psychologically and physically, her being strong, doing CrossFit, and the rest of it was so on point. Briana: And you know what’s funny? Some of the writers were like, oh, I really hope people ship Donna and Doug and I was like, really? Lynn: Umm, nope, people are probably not gonna do that. Briana: And it was cute, the whole conversation was cute, and Brendan who played Doug is lovely, we had a great time together. But it was just like, really? That’s what you get from the script? That you hope Donna shacks up with somebody? [caption id="attachment_46030" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB – with the delightful Brendan Taylor[/caption] Lynn: Not really what the episode was about. Briana: I feel like men don’t know what to do with women sometimes except pair them with men. Kim: And, well, people don’t know what to do with bodies that aren’t a stereotypical perfect body other than assume someone’s suffering inside. Briana: Exactly, exactly. Kim: Like, this is the size 12 who’s battling with it. And you know what? When she’s a size 12, she’s fucking hot! It’s novel to think that people can accept who they are rather than assuming that like – I had someone be like, “You’re 46? Well that’s okay, I don’t mind”. And I was like, you know what’s funny? I don’t either! Lynn: You know what’s even funnier? Why the hell would they mind? Or why would you? Kim: Yeah, I don’t need your permission to be okay with being 46. So yeah, just that idea that if something isn’t the stereotype of perfection, then there must be an internal struggle to attain that something. Lynn and Briana: [are nodding vehemently] Kim: But again, I think that goes back to why we’re presenting a truth to the audience that isn’t necessarily seen. Because in our society, if you aren’t that Thing, capital T – which, by the way, isn’t REAL – but if you aren’t that Thing that isn’t real, you somehow must be suffering and either trying to become that Thing and failing or not trying to become that Thing and really sad about it. But you know what? That Thing isn’t real. And here’s the funny thing – I am. I’m trying to be me. Briana: People are also uncomfortable around confident people. Especially confident women. Lynn: Ohgod, yes. To what both of you said. Briana: People are always trying to put you down – like, how can you still be standing? Nobody likes you… Lynn: This is what Fangasm Supernatural Fangirls is largely about – that fandom is all about celebrating what it means to be a fangirl, and that includes being REAL. That’s so much of what fan communities are about and why they’re so powerful, because you can’t do that in the rest of the world. Especially not women. As a psychologist, I see so much of the stuff that happens when you can’t be real and your emotions aren’t validated – shame, guilt, eating disorders, self harm. Then I discovered fandom, where people weren’t trying to put people in perfect boxes, and that’s what’s so wonderful about it. And that’s why you both click so well with this fandom! Briana: And that’s why I love the panels, they’re always my favorite part of the con. Because, like Kim said, we speak truths, I don’t know how to speak any other way. And we often – I often put my foot in my mouth, more often on twitter than at a con. Usually there’s at least part of the audience at a con that’s gonna be cheering you on. It feels like such a good representation. I feel like the fans represent me just as much as I represent them. Lynn: I think that’s absolutely true. Did any shenanigans go on during the filming of your last episode? With the boys? Briana: Well, Jared’s always trying to bust you. But only on your coverage! Lynn: Of course. Briana: And if he can’t – if he does something and you don’t laugh at it, he’ll go like this – pffffff – like he’ll make you laugh by laughing! [caption id="attachment_46032" align="aligncenter" width="540"] Plush[/caption] Briana: There were always those scenes. You can read them [Jared and Jensen] pretty well, like sometimes they’re talking business and they don’t wanna fuck around right now, so then we won’t. But then there will be scenes where every time I’ll be holding my sides they would just wind up and smack them down, and then Jensen would kick them out of the scene and they’re just like –they’re toddlers! Kim: They’re like little boys. Briana: I said to my husband, when I was reading the script – Every single one of my scenes is with those boys, I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through! Kim and Lynn: [cracking up] Briana: It’s like with the three of us? It’s not gonna happen. Jared is the worst though. Kim: When they’re together is the worst. Briana: That’s very true. Jared alone, I had some trouble with, but when he’s with Jensen? Oh man. Nothing crazy though, just the usual shenanigans. Just like them teasing me. I feel like they treat me like a sister. [caption id="attachment_46033" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB[/caption] Lynn: Well, they know you well now. The people who do the cons, you all get to know each other really well. Briana: That’s so true. Lynn: I was just chatting with Shoshanna Stern, who was a guest star on Supernatural this season… Briana: Oh, she was fabulous! So good, that was a great episode. Did you watch it, Kim? Kim: I did. And I was actually there when they were shooting it. Lynn: I loved Shoshanna, I thought Eileen was a great character. Briana: She’s done a lot of stuff too, eh? Lynn: [silently] I love it when Briana’s Canadian comes out… Lynn: It was interesting to hear her view of the boys, because she observes very keenly – and she said, I didn’t know, when they started goofing off, like am I allowed to laugh? Briana: Oh of course! Lynn: And she gave me this run down of how the crew reacts, the director, how she’s expected to react, and the unbelievable way they play off each other. That when it’s one of them, it’s fine, but as soon as the other walks in, they light up and their ages seem to drop by 30 years. Briana: Hilarious! Kim: It’s like the difference between having one puppy in a room and having two puppies in a room – like it really is, they increase exponentially! [caption id="attachment_46034" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB[/caption] Briana: [nodding] Mm hmm. Lynn: That’s really true. Briana: But you know what? Actually, we’re the same way. Lynn: [laughing] That’s true! Briana: You find somebody that you really mesh well with and then you’re just more of yourself when they’re around. Lynn: Exactly! That’s why I thought it was funny when people hoped fans would ship you with Doug, because you know who most people ship you with. Briana: [grinning adorably] Yes! Her! Kim: [also grinning adorably] Meeeeeeeeee! End of Part 1 of the Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster interview. Part 2 can be found here. We will continue through the launch of Lynn’s book with some of her best Supernatural interviews. Check out Kim and Briana's chapter – along with many other cast and fan chapters – in Family Don’t End With Blood. You can pre-order it here.

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