#hs35 ask

[macklives]

CG?

hes a bit rude - okay maybe quite rude from the “i guess today is the day you fuck everything up” (all caps tho, dude likes to scream) - but i expect that from somebody who is trying to troll an innocent being such as jade. but everyone on my discord is making jokes about it and i feel like they all secretly made a gang to love him for ironic purposes bc thats what this fandom feels like its doing. to me he feels like that recurring character that nobody ever forgets and is a bigger part of the fandom than even some of the main characters. so i will joke along with them for now bc thats what i always do. no matter if i hate a character or not, they will become the main joke. like bro and his puppets.

we even made a bet that at the end of homestuck, when all the kids are safe and have found dad, CG comes out of the bushes like hey wassup i somehow survived the meteors, you fuckers. nobody knows why, the narrator never explains how and somehow there is starbucks coffee involved and it will be thrown. on both ends. at least that is fun to think about.

[dafukdidiwatch]

My original list had me put in a ton of space inbetween a regular parent and the Fucked-Up Guardians, but didn’t want it to be an annoying long blank post. Can’t we just have Cake Dad adopt them already? They all deserve better

[macklives]

man oh man look at this:

SHE HAS GOOD TASTE THESE ARE VERY PRETTY

ik they arent the real floating deal, but i lowkey want a whole garden of these

[macklives]

[macklives]

well.... if they were of aaaage..... i may have a nice few headcanons for this haha. get your boats ready people, its a long one.

i think rose would act as if she hasn’t even had a drink at all. she’d be the exact replica of her usual self honestly. you’d ask her holy many drinks she’s had and she would say 10, but she’d still act as if she has had little to none. but i personally see her as the designated driver who does not like alcohol unless its a nice wine on a saturday night, at home with a book in hand and just having a fun time by herself. but also, a reason why she likes to stay sober, is because she can see what her friends are like drunk (considering she likes to analyze people). and of course, to help them get home or be safe for the night. 

dave, man, he’s probably that talkative drunk. he goes on and on with just about everything, and probably gets sensitive if you so talk about the things he loves (in the good way). you mention the word “apple juice” and he starts making poems on how apple juice has changed his life forever and how he will never be apart. some random person will think he’s making a sonnet about some chick he’s met, but no, its apple juice. dave just loves apple juice. he probably spills a little too much of his secrets in those sonnets/poems, but rose is all here for it. she basically makes sure she’s the sober one to listen and evaluate and make sure he doesn’t confess to everybody his life story. 

john, he’s the laughing drunk. he’s the one who will try to do party tricks but fail at them because he is too drunk to figure out how it works. or think he did it right but ends up embarrassing himself without knowing it. of course his friends cheer him on in support, just to make him feel good about himself. he’s not bashful at all, this kid is filled with pride because his party trick “worked”. and if someone is going to say otherwise, then they will have to deal with angry dave, rose and jade giving them looks until they clap along with them. basically, on top of that, i feel like john would laugh a lot. and for just about everything. you could make the worst joke in history and john will still laugh at it as if its the funniest thing he’s heard all day. him and dave are a force to be reckoned with when they are alone to talk whilst drunk.

finally, jade, oh jade, my sweet jade. she would pull that weird eccentric drunk card. she actually obeyed the command to fertilize her plants and squeal like a pig so im pretty sure she would be the one to do all the fun stunts and “explore the world” while being anything but sober. she would be on the roof, on the car, running through the streets. the other kids would tell her to get down, or to stop, but jade, oh no, she is going to do the daredevilest of stunts ever pulled. because her drunk self believes she can. and it always ends up someone getting hurt but not after they all laugh it off and rose gets them safely home.

[macklives]

i love the fact that they can be headcannoned as anything, someone on discord (mice) mentioned them being aracial. which i find is the neatest thing! it makes people interpret the characters as how you want them to appear without there being any canon race/body types. it means every artist can have their own canon appearance.

personally, i have not yet thought TOO much about it racial wise, but i legit would accept any headcanon because everything is VALID. a few have even been very cool and i lowkey see it??? for example, soleil said something about dreadlocks jade and i am all here for that. i actually really love it. i think that one is my favourite. dark-skinned jade could also make sense for her living on an island in the pacific. which in itself, is a good reason for the headcanon, also because it is one very good concept. even if somebody headcanoned the other kids as either biracial/dark-skinned/and maybe for john, chinese, which all differs from most people’s interpretations of them all being white, i would probably be sold. i love diversity so much and i love to see it represented.

to me tho, i think i have a set theory on the body types for the kids. because those i have not yet heard about anywhere else, considering i am not browsing around unless its some things on my ask/discord/just me and kallie talking, so i had to think of that one. so here they are + a few more growing up without sburb headcanons:

i feel like john is short, he really is. and he’s also on the chubby side but not by much. he’s the one who probably is not very good at sports but for some reason, even with how much he sits on his ass playing video games and eating snacks, he physically cannot get taller as he would like. but here’s the thing. if we were discluding sburb and the whole game end of world thing, if they lived a normal life, and if he actually enrolled in highschool, he would somehow become buff. like bulky buff. at 13, he’s known as the chubby small guy who is deemed as a nerd, but damn does he get fit for no goddamn reason. just one summer, he comes back to school and nobody knows who this guy is, theyre asking if hes new or if he just has always been quiet and they had never noticed his presence, but no. its john egbert. he just hit puberty QUICK. over the span of a few months being in his room with no social interaction but talking to his friends online.

dave, he’s also very lanky but solely because i think he’s the lanky tall guy who had a growth spurt too early on in his childhood. he’s the kid parents think is the teacher’s assistant whenever he’s in the room, or the one who all the kids secretly think hes restarted 7th grade for 3 years in a row, when in reality, he’s just a very tall kid. not to mention that whenever teams are chosen for gym, he gets picks him first, every single goddamn time. and when he gets to high school (if we aren’t talking sburb again), he gets to a good 6′0 freshman year. 

rose, i feel she is more on the small chubby side. she’s short, but her appearance can make anybody intimidated solely because if you can imagine seeing a gothic small child coming your way, youd be a little frightened. but she enjoys that. when’s she’s older, of course, she puts out more on that gothic appeal and basically wears more clothes that teachers would fine “not designated for school attire”. its not because its very open, but more because its “starting to scare the other kids” but does rose care? no. she will take her grim outfits to the grave. she takes pride in what she wears no matter what people say.

jade, i see her as tall. very tall. she’s nearing dave’s height but just a little smaller, i think since i picture dave as the tallest. but she doesn’t care, she just loves wearing all these nice frilly clothes, its just difficult to find clothes for her height when she goes shopping, since they can never get it right for tall people. but because of that, i feel like she would be VERY good at physical activities, and she is b u f f. i feel like if she went to school, which im guessing she isnt due to where she grows up on the island, she would have been on the track team. solely because boy does that girl have legs. she’s the mix of skinny but muscly in that sense. not lanky but damn does this girl work out.

theyre all quite opposite i feel, and thats just how they friend group works.

[macklives]

all of you are so obsessed with the shouting insulting man, its crazy, but i guess this is it my discord friends. our time to shine. i will now send you exclusive chat messages from our make-a-wish CG shrine that’s now used as our shouting/joke channel where we made stupid headcanons about the weirdo or basically cyberbully each other 

(keep in mind these are long but worth it):

here, folks, is how it all started, and now, how it all derailed from there:

and that finishes up the story of CG and all my headcanons i have for him

[macklives]

“CG stan” our lovely ironic role which brings you to the cursed channel of shouting and swears

for those confused: on the discord we have either ironic/unironic (depending on how you see it) “stan” roles for every single bloody character. every single one. even sbahj. even imps! but then if you have one of the specific roles, you can access a secret channel for that character only, which is called the shrine channels. of course, you can have more than one role. somebody took them all once and now they have a whole ass list of shrines to access. they also each vary with the characters - like we get art for dad’s channel almost every time someone sees something cool. our main thing is buff dad now and i just found out brodad is a thing. we got our adoption comics for dave’s channel. and since nobody took bro stan, it was supposed to be the empty void. but lately one person did. STEVE. he now has his own channel for himself and his sins. CURSED STEVE.

[macklives]

our lifelong pal?

the never updating walkthrough guy?

the man who did not survive sburb after 3 days?

the original winniethepoop2 since winniethepoop was already already taken?

the myth the legend himself?

fuck

[macklives]

you heard it here, folks

next james bond movie? mom stars as the main character

[macklives]

SO TECHNICALLY IT WAS RIGHT LMFAO

[macklives]

you all know what i think about dave strider already, nico

[macklives]

I FUCKING LOVE JADE SO MUCH SHES SO WHOLESOME

man, if he does end up being like bro 2 (which i hope fucking not), then we have much room in the adoption household, (i will fight), but feel free to join our parenthood of dave strider with his 50+ parents bc its already growing already and we even have a dave stan resident artist who draws dave adoption comics every week for us.

[macklives]

i feel like this could be important in the future, but i didnt think to look up the coordinates so thank you!

i will keep an eye on specific stuff like that just in case it comes up later :)

[macklives]

holy fuck, i bet you they are treats for bec since if he can eat radioactive steak, maybe he can eat uranium?

[macklives]

oh man, those fans must be hella creative to come up with the whole midnight crew concept. because the character designs and whole layout is very interesting and i feel like just reading more. its also a cool side thing from the actual comic, like we’ll fill in the blanks with each character introduced (or well, another way now. but i bet you throughout the comic there is at least a little preview as to what those guys are up to since we’ve seen them 3 times already)

and i guess thats why i did not recognize them, because i have not yet read problem sleuth! but i will very much consider it!