#hrdsell

[pablohunie1993]

venus-of-the-hrdsell: GO FUCK YOURSELF, you shitty anti JohnZee!!

pablohunie1992: GO FUCK YOURSELF, you hypocritial beaner!!

not this mf again

[phantoms-world-and-more]

venus-of-the-the-hrdsell is anti JohnZee: go fuck yourself you bitch!!

What???

[mcondance]

https://www.tumblr.com/venus-of-the-hrdsell/719691394084683776/the-worst-part-miguel-oharas-oversexualisation

what am i supposed to do with this, anon..? i didn’t even know who miguel was until the atsv trailers dropped, i didn’t start sexualizing him when they added melanin to his design cause i ain’t know who the mufucker was until about 2 months ago. if u feel like i’m oversexualizing him, i don’t care 😭 this is a SMUT blog where i talk about COCK AND BALLS AND DICK AND PUSSY AND CUM. find another blog if you wanna see ppl talk about building a life with miguel 😭

[mango-sp1ce]

venus-of-the-the-hrdsell is anti JohnZee: go fuck yourself you bitch!!

Ehh?

What is going on here?

[piedalchemist]

venus-of-the-the-hrdsell is anti JohnZee: go fuck yourself you bitch!!

I wasn't sure which one to use, lmao

[hbosscreations]

Man, it's always really frustrating when creators can't just say 'I made a mistake'. Spurrier isn't the cover artist, so if it was a case of using the wrong colors, that could have been a miscommunication. Him calling John pansexual when John's writers have used bisexual up to this point isn't great, but not unheard of.

And I love the perspective there. 'I screwed up, but John's a bastard who doesn't respect anyone so he'd deliberately mislabel himself in his own head on purpose' and also 'He's not a good guy, neither label should claim him'. What an odd take. As if being problematic means he doesn't deserve to be respected?

@venus-of-the-hrdsell if you've got the receipts and they're easy to access, I'd love to see them for curiosity's sake. I missed this too.

I dont understand people saying the new dead in america issue is like biphobic like?? They're just fucking?? Sure it's not a perfect relationship but what do you expect from john constantine ???? Did I miss something

[screenviolense-a]

@hrdsell​ sent: papers for johnzee because constantine has never respected the sanctity of the justice league ever and isn't going to start now

papers. our muses getting frisky in an office / work setting.

         when he had mentioned wanting to visit her while at work, zatanna imagined more of a coffee date or maybe even a tour of the hall of justice. how often did he get to get that kind of view of the stars? but she should have known better by now, that john would never do what she expected. that was probably why they were where they were now with him sitting on someone’s desk ( probably bruce’s, based on his luck ) with his shirt half undone and her manicured hands trying to tug it open further.

          ��� most guys would bring flowers. ‘ she murmured, standing between his legs as his scruffy chin rubbed against her neck in a series of kisses. probably payback for how much of her dark lipstick was already smeared all over him, if she had to guess. it was always like this with them, a game of one-upsmanship until something else caught their attention. it started with magic and now it was about who could fluster the other one. she didn’t mind admitting that he did occasionally come out on top ( metaphorically, but sometimes physically. ) and that gutter charm did have quite the hold for him, but only because it meant she was more than willing to beat him the next time.

          ‘ you couldn’t even bring me coffee? ‘ the mistress of magic pretended to pout as she slunk her arms around his neck, pulling him up so she could look him in the eye with her nails beginning to dig into his hair.

[ghostportrait]

          ‘ well, one of us has to change. ‘ maybe she could change things up and grab her red trenchcoat, just so no one would think they were matching on purpose.

@hrdsell​

[iscariotsdeputy]

also ♫ for constantine and yes i'm forcing you to go by first impressions and vibes alone

Send me a ♫ + a character’s name and I will respond with a song that reminds me of them. Send a ♫ + a ship and I will do the same.

Nothing Changes

Why the struggle, why the strain? Why make trouble? Why make scenes? Why go against the grain? Why swim upstream? It ain't- It ain't- It ain't no use You're bound- You're bound- You're bound to lose What's done- What's done- What's done is done That's the way the river runs So why get wet? Why break a sweat? Why waste your precious breath? Why beat your handsome brow? Nothing changes Nothing changes Nothing changes anyhow

[wtchblde]

@hrdsell​ said:  ‘  you would think that there’d be at least one witness.  ’

“you would think, but i guess that’s why they did it a dark-ass alley.” it reffering to the dead and mutilated body that had been here just hours before. the cops had cleaned up the scene, but there was still a massive dark stain where the blood had been. 

whatever had done it was clearly inhuman, but what exactly it was was still a mystery. the gem in the middle of the witchblade was glowing, the metal burning against her skin. 

“my witchblade senses are going off though, which means it wasn’t human. but if you saw the body that would’ve been kind of obvious. you got any spells to figure it out?” 

[epilogued]

🦁 @hrdsell​ 🦁

Blake knew two things with utmost certainty:

John Constantine was in his house.

He was completely lost.

The rooms and halls of the House of Secrets moved. He had been warned when he first arrived, not yet knowing it would become his new home. Not yet knowing that the motley assortment of mercenaries and monsters that walked beside him would become his family— most of them, that is. Cheshire had ended up betraying them, Parademon sacrificing himself shortly afterward. But the rest? The rest he’d die for, no hesitation.

The rooms and halls moved, but certain portions of the House did not. So long as he kept to this territory, Blake knew that he’d always find his way. Almost always. The House was a living thing, after all, with strange moods that came and went at odd times. There was a very, very small chance that, even if he kept to the main pathways of the House, it would still lead him into its depths. Over the many years of his stay in the House, it had only happened twice before. The first time had left him wandering for a good twenty minutes. The second time, he was lost for almost three hours.

The third time was right now.

Blake rubbed his neck, trying to get his bearings. He had only wanted a quick midnight jaunt to the kitchen to make some eggs. He had gotten the eggs, it was the return trip to his room that had become problematic. So here he was, dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts, wandering a labyrinthine mansion from before the beginning of human civilization. Again.

His woes were forgotten in an instant when Blake noticed three things simultaneously:

A subtle shift in air pressure. Something to ignore, that happened from time to time in the House.

The sound of footsteps in the distance. Now, Blake knew what his family’s footsteps sounded like. The weight of their tread, the pattern of their stride. These footfalls matched none of theirs.

The scent of a particular brand of cigarette smoke. He had smelled it once before, when Black Alice, a former teammate with the ability to temporarily steal the powers of any magic-user from any distance, had swiped the spells of one John Constantine. Whenever Alice stole magic, her clothes would morph into a replica of the magic-user’s costume. That specific fragrance had been woven into the trench coat cast about Alice’s shoulders.

Blake had never met Constantine before, but he knew his reputation. If anyone could bypass the House’s all-encompassing anti-surveillance wards, it would be a bastard like him. A magician of his caliber could accomplish some pretty nasty things in a place of power like the House of Secrets. Blake, on the other hand, knew less than nothing about magic.

What Blake did know, however, was how to hunt. He was the greatest tracker in the world. Provided that Constantine wasn’t using magic to scan his surroundings, Blake would have the drop on him— thanks to Blake’s near-superhuman senses, he knew that he had heard Constantine well before Constantine could hear him.

With the quiet tread of a honed killer who had spent the bulk of his 20s cat burgling and his early 30s hunting alongside wild lions, Blake sped stealthily through empty halls. It was going to be an ambush.

[pablohunie1993]

Venus-of-the-hrdsell: GO FUCK YOURSELF, you shitty anti JohnZee!!

Pablohunie: GO FUCK YOURSELF, you hypocritial beaner!!

are you calling me that because of my username? no wonder this dudes so weird he's the only mf on the planet who hasn't listened to creep

[weavher]

@hrdsell said:  “That’s rude.”

"𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙸 𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙸𝚃." annabelle grew up with siblings, and that means she’s in her element in two things: petty torments and vintage clothing stores. this is the former. she offers a brilliant smile, full of sincerity that means absolutely nothing. “it’s always lovely to see my favorite brother back in town.” she looks him up and down, makes sure to linger with distaste on his clothes whether or not she has any real feelings towards him. “and i see you’re thrifting again. how...quaint.” spiders find their way in and out of the hole in her skull, seemingly agitated by their mistress’s forced positivity. “well? did you bring me a souvenir? and is it cursed, like the last one?”

[milfzatannaz]

It might be odd to say, but I don't like comics. I'm not a very visual person, and comics just never keep me engaged. But if I did like comics, Hellblazer would be my favourite, because Constantine is fascinating, and every analysis I've read of it makes it sound like a banger. Plus, as a British punk, how could I not love him? Also I appreciate anything that's not scared to get political.

As it is, I keep hoping for more semi-decent fic about Constantine (that doesn't have him fucking a shark or adopting that bloody phantom kid), or a decent TV show, or something.

Have you got any recommendations for blogs or fics that have interesting content with him? All your takes seem top-tier.

I get what you mean. I gravitate towards comics bc as a visual artist I’ve always found them really visually stimulating, but in the opposite vein I loathe audiobooks. It varies from person to person!

I’m not a huge solo Constantine fic reader, unfortunately! I only dip my toes in if it’s johnzee centric (and even then, their Ao3 tag is littered with batfam and Danny phantom bullshit)

My fav John Constantine blogs:

@conjobthehellblazer

@treesofgreen

@venus-of-the-hrdsell

@waveblazer

I’m forgetting multiple URLs and tumblr isn’t letting me add them so I’ll be adding more shortly 😅

[cosmicmordecai]

#dc has a problem pushing magic users tbh#even Zatanna and john being the most popular dont get proper writing despite the popularity at times#while other characters just stay in the dust which is sad#and that unfortunately translate to the fanbase in general#good post op -- @venus-of-the-hrdsell

Yeah like would love for Sebastian Faust to get a further revamp and reignite that Faust/Blue Devil dynamic. I want to see Blue Devil call out the Justice League on their occasional elitism. I want to see Amethyst have more stories of defending her kingdom while dealing with the responsibility of it. I want to see Khalid continually defend the world from evil and stuff. I want Traci 13 to do something significant other than just be a support role in Oblivion Bar. Let her non-white washed self hang with KHALID or Blue Beetle again.

I want some basic ass stuff here and instead, you get another storyline of magic dying, somebody hoarding magic to themselves, and once again, the former good guy in history turning evil. Oh and we get them being props for Flash too.

Man there’s so much magic characters in DC and all people seem to think about is Zatanna being hot and John Constantine interacting with Bat-Family characters and shagging King Shark.

[screenviolense-a]

@hrdsell​ sent: " i won't break, you know. you don't need to be gentle. "

           ‘ trust me, i know. you have the resiliency of a cockroach, darling. ‘ still, he’d always gotten tossed around and roughed up and for once she could treat him as softly as she so desired. so long as it meant getting to see that peaceful expression he only got around her when she combed through his hair or drew him a bath and he finally seemed to relax. zatanna hovered over him, pulling herself off of where she had been lying pressed against his bare chest, choosing to straddle his narrow hips.

               careful fingers drew over his stomach, nails gently scratching against the faint line of hair trailing down to his belt. ‘ and it’s more fun for me to draw it out like this. don’t you think, john? ‘