#hozier once again carrying the playlist

[sewermageboy]

the Dorian Pavus brainrot has reached critical mass I'm afraid

[milliesfishes]

꣑ৎ౨ৎDestiny's Dead꣑ৎ౨ৎ

[fem reader] contains: grief, mentions of death, copious amounts of angst summary: you think billy's been killed pairing: billy the kid x fem reader author’s note: wish I could tag ordinary things anon; if you see this thank you for the ask and I love you for trusting me with your vision I very hope I did it justice <3 Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

"As long as you're in this world, darlin', I've gotta reason to stay in it."

Billy had whispered that in your hair one night when he thought you were asleep. You carried that with you since you heard it, surprised when it remained intact when your waking mind took form. Maybe you were meant to hear it.

This knowledge became more important to you every day, as wanted posters with your man's face crudely drawn on them started to crop up all over town. You felt your heart crumble a little every time you saw one, evidence of how the world saw the man you loved.

To them he was a killer. To you he represented love. Safety. Two things you hadn't had the luxury of keeping before. Your life was divided into two parts. Before Billy and During. You desperately prayed there wouldn't be an After.

When he met you, you were a closed off, timid thing who didn't have a word for anybody. Your past was your future in your mind. Once Billy got wind of your mindset, he worked with all his might to change it.

He gathered you up and put you back together, kissing each piece as he set it back into place. And you adored him for it. In time, his kisses were returned with equal fervor, and his touches were met with your own. He was your gravity, the center of your whole world. You hadn't had a world before Billy. He built it up and stood to the side, letting you decide where to go, only to find you running back into his arms.

You had long disdained love, thought it, in your case, a feckless fantasy that served no real purpose. It was a hard thing to come by in your upbringing- something that was dangled just out of your reach like some kind of trick to keep you running. Until one day when you'd had enough and simply turned your back, the taunt no longer effective.

Then Billy stumbled into your life. He reinvented you, brought out a side you hadn't known to exist. You gave him every one of your firsts willingly, presented on both knees. And he didn't take that lightly, keeping each one close to his heart and trying to make it all special for you. It was because it was him. He didn't take your breath away, he taught you how to breathe.

Billy hugged you tight, called you 'baby' and kissed you tenderly. He never spoke of a future without you, never uttered a word or did anything that suggested he wouldn't protect you. Because he was aware of the world being his girl thrust you into. You loved him all the more for knowing.

Now, a year later, you were steady. Content seemed too plain a word for how you felt. It was bliss, having a person in this world who was yours to love the way you pleased.

Though as of late things had been a little more complicated. Billy only came to see you under the guise of darkness, not wanting his bloody reputation as of late to stain the clean white of yours. You were grateful for any time with him, opening your arms and bed both to him as a respite from the mounting tensions in his life.

"You're the only thing worth stickin' around for," he breathed one day as he held you tight, your bodies bare and swaddled in the sheets of your bed. Billy kissed your forehead tenderly, letting his lips linger there. "My sweetheart...you're the purest thing I ever loved."

His words held a touch of melancholy that you chose to ignore in favor of burrowing into his chest, the safest place in the whole world. Every bit of your love was owed to him. And you repaid it over and over again.

Billy held you tight all through the night and into the morning, whispering sweet things into your hair. This was your heaven- bare between his arms with his boots beneath your bed.

When he inevitably had to get up, he did it slowly, leaning down and kissing your hairline for a long time. Then he began to dress himself and you started to sit up, watching him sleepily with the covers pulled to your chest.

"Won't you stay?" you murmured, looking up at him longingly.

"Gotta get out before the sun gets any higher," he said apologetically, pulling one of his suspenders over his undershirt and kneeling at your side to press three lazy kisses to your cheeks and nose. His stubble tickled your skin, and you smiled, just a bit.

"You know I'll come back though?" Billy asked, shrugging his lone suspender off and pulling his shirt on, starting to do up the buttons.

You reached out for him, and he removed his fingers, letting you fasten the remaining buttons. "I want you to."

He smoothed your hair and nudged his lips to your forehead once more. "I will. I promise. It'll only be a few days and then I'll be back here holdin' ya."

Hoping with all your soul that he was right, you pulled him in by the collar to kiss him softly. Billy could probably feel your anxiety, because he pulled back a little, his nose bumping yours. "Baby..."

You nodded, your forehead leaning against his. "Hurry home."

"Promise," he whispered, giving you one more kiss before reaching for his boots and pulling them on.

Now he was standing, tucking his shirt in and setting his hat on his head. The final step. You'd witnessed it so many times and it always sent a pang through your chest. Billy was leaving and your heart wouldn't be full until he returned.

He leaned down over you, the brim of his hat shading you from the sunlight shining through the window. Oh, it made him a vision. He was lined in light like an angel. Billy had always been your angel.

"I love you," he said softly, lips caressing yours one more time. "I'll be home soon."

And with that he was gone, leaving like a shadow. You were left naked and alone, holding the sheets against your chest. Body already aching for his touch, but all you could do to soothe it was imagine.

The days after passed slower than you thought time could move. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. When the heart is already fond, distance becomes a wound only your lover can heal.

It was hard to pass the time as always. You wondered of his whereabouts, whether or not he was safe. It was a rhetorical question; Billy was almost never safe. But for your own peace of mind, you imagined he was. Maybe he was thinking of you at the same time you were of him.

At night when you struggled to close your eyes, you conjured the image of him riding home to you. Horse straining against the wind, hat nearly blowing off his head. And he'd dismount and stumble through your doorway any minute.

The next minute. No the next. The next. Maybe in two minutes. It was like counting sheep, and the repetition lulled you to sleep.

He said he was coming home soon. He's going to come home soon.

You were in the market when the news hit.

Usually, you tuned out the chatter of the customers around you, your mind on what you considered to be more important topics. But when someone mentioned your lover's name, your ears perked up.

"...shot, by the sheriff of another town," one woman was saying in hushed tones.

Someone may as well have burned a hole through your middle. Nonononononono. Maybe it was someone else.

Eyes wide, you interjected. "Billy? What Billy?"

The woman didn't seem put off by your interruption, seeming pleased to have another member of her audience. "Billy the Kid. The outlaw. Y'know, the one whose face is plastered all over town." She gave you a knowing look. "They got him."

Heartbeat pounding in your ears, you swallowed, trying to breathe normally. Eyes blurring, you clenched your jaw so the tears wouldn't fall. The woman's brow furrowed as she saw your expression, and her lips parted slightly. "Did you know him?"

"No," you answer quickly, giving her a tight smile. "No, it's just shocking is all."

Turning away from her, you somehow made your way out of the market, bumping into people whom you could care less about. The only thing you could see was the fuzzy outline of things, the only sound a dull roar echoing back and forth between your ears.

Billy.

When you came to, you were in a little thicket that you recognized. He brought you here, held you tight when he was still teaching you how to love-

Emotions overwhelmed you, and you were now helpless against them. Dropping to your knees and burying your face in your hands, you shook, body weakened. Is it true that when one soulmate dies the other starts on its way?

You hoped so. Oh, how you hoped you'd follow him to the grave. If you didn't, you'd scour the earth for his burial site and lie there with him, bodies separated only by dirt, until your heart stopped beating physically. It was already dead along with his.

Collapsed against the ground, you felt weaker than you ever had before. Maybe a merciful higher power was taking pity on you. Oh, it was a fate of agony to remain alive without the one person who could make it better. Somehow, you'd imagined Billy as immortal as the legends no doubt told of him.

But he had only been a man. With him went his promises; you knew now that Billy wasn't coming home soon.

And while you cursed his mortality, you embraced yours. Maybe it wouldn't be long now. Maybe his spirit was kneeling beside you, whispering for you to stand. But you wouldn't. You would stay still so the grim reaper would lead you away nice and easy. He probably didn't get people like that very often. While others fled the sight of him, you searched the horizon, counting the minutes until you could run to him.

The sky faded from blue to orange to black, and your heart still beat. You wanted to scream, wail, pound the dirt. But, surprising yourself, you calmly lifted yourself up, getting to your feet and picking up your bag, feet leading you back in the direction of your house. It wasn't home without him.

You hardly clocked anything about the journey back. The only thing you'd remember when you looked back were your thoughts. Now your world was void of love again. It was worse now that you'd tasted it. To you, Billy was love. And now love died. Everyone made it sound like an everlasting thing, but here it was, gone with the piercing of a bullet.

As you reached your house, you numbly pushed the door open, tossing your bag to the side and beginning to strip yourself of your clothes. First your dress, them your shoes; each stocking and your thin petticoat. It all created a messy trail to your bedroom, and you collapsed into the mattress, into the side where he used to sleep when he was home. Now in only your half stay and bloomers, hair pins scattered on the floor with your clothes, you hugged his pillow, trying to pretend it was him.

When your eyes shut, you hoped they wouldn't open again.

Shadowy dreams of pistols and cemeteries haunted you all through your sleeping hours, and you ran from them in your mind. It was all for naught, because you were met with the sight of Billy with a gaping hole in his chest, blood seeping through his shirt in a gruesome pattern. You reached your hands out to stop the bleeding, maybe, but all you did was make it worse. He choked for breath, and you screamed, a black pit swallowing you both up.

Eyes flying open, you sat up and choked on your breath, hand clutching at your collarbone, heartbeat punching against it. A wave of memory crashed over you, and you cursed sleep for doing nothing. You cursed death doubly for staying far away. Where was the coward when you needed him? Probably off carting screaming souls to the afterlife who didn't realize the luxury of life's end.

Rubbing your eyes, your head flopped against the mattress, squeezing his pillow between your arms. You couldn't cry, even though you had a viable reason. Shutting your eyes, you willed tears to come, to overwhelm you so you could finally fall apart. Get it over with. Learn how to put yourself back together the way he used to. Or don't. Just do something.

But nothing came. Only frustration. You smashed the pillow against your face and screamed into it, chest shaking with exhaustion.

Why wouldn't the end come? You desperately hoped Billy's spirit wasn't watching you. This was pathetic.

There was a sudden noise from the kitchen, but you paid it no mind, too lost in your mind to register anything outside it as real.

You didn't realize anything until the heavy bootsteps got closer to your room.

Pulling the covers up around yourself, you stared wide eyed as the door swung open. Even when it was dark you knew his silhouette. Was this a ghost?

Then he was coming toward you, reaching out, your name whispered like a prayer on his lips. You shrank back, more terrified than you'd ever been in your life.

Taking off his hat and tossing it aside, Billy sat on the side of the bed, one big, warm hand settling on your thigh. He didn't move as you quickly reached over, striking a match sharply and lighting the candle on the bedside. The flame cast dark shapes on his face.

Shaking your head in disbelief, you whispered, "This is cruel."

"Baby-" he started, but you cut him off.

"You're dead," you breathed, burying your face in your hands. "They said you were shot-"

"No." Billy pulled your hands down so you would look at him. He lifted one of them to rest against his chest, so you could feel his solid body, the thump of his heart. You started to shake, your eyes pricking. He squeezed your hand. "They all think I'm gone. And I am to them."

"What are you talking about?" your voice snagged and caught on the unshed tears in your throat.

"I said you were the only thing worth livin' for," he nodded, eyes holding yours. "Now you are. You are the only one I am alive for. Fuck all the rest of 'em. I was dead to 'em anyways." Billy thumbed the side of your cheek, dropping your hand so he could hold your face. "But to you, my love, my life. I'm breathin'."

Here were the tears you'd so desperately tried to force out earlier. Now they were pouring down your cheeks, cascading down to your collarbone and wetting your face with relief, joy, terror, confusion...all in a liquid revelation that he was really here. He was here and he was all yours, truly this time.

You burrowed into his arms, face pressed against his chest to hear that thump, thump, thump of the proof he was breathing. A sob tore itself from your throat, and you shook in his arms. Billy held you tightly, kissing the top of your head, whispering into you.

"Baby...baby I'm so sorry...I'm so sorry, I tried to get to you before you could hear...oh, my sweetheart, my love..." Billy's voice was breaking at the sight of your tears. You had never cried like this before, not in front of him, not ever. "Things were gettin' bad...I had to let 'em think I died...but I shoulda let ya know somehow before...I'm sorry baby, my sweet girl..."

Pulling back, you took his face in your hands, pressing your lips to his sweaty forehead, then his nose, then his lips, holding him there for a moment. Your kisses were needy, wanting. He came back home.

"Baby..." he croaked, drawing you into his arms once more. You clung to every bit of him you could grasp, every touch reassuring his presence. Billy's hands were at your jaw, holding you over your hair. He kissed your face over and over, and you nearly let a fresh bout of tears loose at the feel of his stubble. "Thought of nothing but you the whole ride here...saw ya..." Another kiss "...in the stars, in the river...everywhere." Two kisses to your left cheek.

Billy pressed his forehead to yours, then pulled you to sit on his thighs, squeezing you tightly and burying his face in your hair. "My sweet girl..."

You sniffled, clinging to him. "You were gone...you left me..."

"Ain't never leavin' again," he said sincerely, and you could hear the unspoken promise in his words. "We're gonna get outta town and go somewhere nobody's ever heard 'f me. It'll all die but we'll live for each other. Just you 'n me, honey. Forever."

In the span of a day, your greatest hopes and fears had coincided and created a supernova of horror and joy alike, the strength of both emotions separated by a very thin line.

Your love had returned. The world was right side up.

Billy held you until you were cried out, and swaddled you in his arms, nearly enveloping you and making the two of you one. He stroked your hair, lips ghosting any space of you he could reach.

As you drifted off, he whispered, "As long as you're in this world, darlin', I've gotta reason to stay in it."

[kaaaaaaarf]

Chapter 7 of everywhere, everything by @lynxindisguise is up, so I have updated the playlist! I'm going to be real with you, this one made me feel feelings.

Universe 95: Musicians song lyrics and meanings behind the cut (spoilers if you haven't read the chapter!)

+ Through Me (The Flood) by Hozier

Even though this chapter takes place in the 90s, Sirius is very much a Hozier-like musician, singing political songs disguised as love songs. This song felt appropriate.

And he swims on Turning back to shore again Above the outer atmosphere Of a world he's never seen And looking down to his new home He feels the rising of a wave and knows at once He will not weather it Like that man I looked down into the depths when I met you I couldn't measure it Any time I'd struggled on Against the course, out on my own Every time, I'd burn through the world, I'd see That the world, it burns through me But when I'd let go (I'd let go)

+ Thinking About You by Radiohead

A classic 90s song with a dash of longing. I think this one is this universe's Remus during the years before he got with Kingsley and after whatever happened between him and Sirius fizzled out.

Been thinking about you, your records a hit Your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there But I'm still no one, and you're not a star What do you care? [...] I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep? These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet They don't know what I know Why should you care, when I'm not there? Been thinking about you, and there's no rest Shit, I still love you, still see you in bed But I'm playing with myself? What do you care when I'm not there?

+ Lover You Should Have Come Over by Jeff Buckley

I couldn't get through the playlist for this chapter without some Jeff Buckley. This is very much Sirius regretting his choices in the past.

Sometimes a man gets carried away When he feels like should be having his fun Much too blind to see the damage he's done Sometimes a man must awake to find that Really he has no one So I'll wait for you, love And I'll burn Will I ever see your sweet return? Oh, will I ever learn? Oh-oh, lover, you should've come over 'Cause it's not too late [...] It's never over My kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder

+ Your Needs, My Needs by Noah Kahan

Both Sirius and Remus in this chapter seem to have different needs that keep them apart.

Oh well, who was I? Who was I to watch you wilt? You ain't gotta tell me what it means Trace the outlines of your dreams You'll always be a flower on my skin And the pain that I am in It's all the same The losing touch, the waiting game You cross that county line I promise to be there this time, alright? You were a work of art That's the hardest part Howling like dogs in the light of the moon Holding our breath after 1:32 You asked me why I wasn't sayin' a word I'm namin' the stars in the sky after you

+ Lovers In A Dangerous Time by Barenaked Ladies

This one for me is very much original universe Sirius and Remus. It's a cover from the 90s and also features some strings, so I felt it fit very well.

Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by? We never get to stop and open our eyes One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall And next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all Lovers in a dangerous time [...] When you're lovers in a dangerous time Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

+ The Look You Give That Guy by The Eels

Sirius wants to be in Kingsley's shoes so bad.

I'm nothing like what I'd like to be I'm nothing much I know it's true I lack the style and the pedigree And my chances are so few That look you give that guy I wanna see Looking right at me If I could be that guy Instead of me I'd give you all I got I never thought that I could be so bold To even say these thoughts aloud But if, let's say, it won't work out You know where I can be found

+ Paper Thin Motel by Matt Maltese

I included this cover to honour everyone's new favourite thruple. May Sirius, Kingsley and Remus be happy for many moons.

The walls of this hotel are paper-thin Last night I heard you making love to him The struggle mouth to mouth and limb to limb The grunt of unity when he came in I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control

[newty]

🌙 a teredio playlist

also i totally grabbed those words in the edit from meditation by richard aldington go read his poem here.

anyway. some selected Thoughts:

canta per me - Yuki Kajiura

The life of the love beloved in my heart oh be happy, you, my soul sing farewell

strong voice and strong violin. it has a proud tone even through what it asks, but it's also asking bc it won't say goodbye itself.

Before We Drift Away - Nothing but Thieves

And as we sing this familiar song I thought I'm gonna miss your love when it's gone Will it flow into the river Or will it go to waste?

the uncertainty that separation/death is going to happen but with no idea how or when. use of the ocean bc sanbrequois shoreline but also the funerial river in twinside

Free If We Want It - Nothing but Thieves

I walk beside myself To see what's left Of you and me And what it means If it goes wrong (don't look back) At least it was real

reflection on a past that feels meaningless but still had a loved one in it. having the ability to move on but also the choice to continue as things are. but mostly just let that shit go and keep going

see also: stand by me - florence + the machine / tsuki o miteita - kenshi yonezu / let the starts fall down - yuki kajiura / walking the wire - imagine dragons / dance me to the end of love - douglas dare

---DION

Pianissimo - Agent Fresco

Could this be All there is Will this shame have a name Only for this night Calm me for this night Oh this shame has a name

dread, uncertainty, danger, desperation. shame is the name of the love that doesn't speak. relying on smth once and then needing it again and again.

Pyre - Agent Fresco

We both belong to longings of past Can you see the pyre below? We both belong to longings of wrath Can you feel the fire grow? Loneliness has only shown me I can't let you go

pairs w pianissimo. the expectation of punishment and the tone of danger. having no time and finding extensions of smth by carrying it in the body, even if it hurts or it's haunting.

IL DONO DELLA VITA - Måneskin

The sound of your ugly laughter Has opened the way for me to the right path I breathe in clean air And I let it kill me But my heart still beats A light that rips through the ground

defying the ppl who are guiding you by doing what they want and not being destroyed by it. part of me thinks this one is a bit too self aware for dion tho LOL

Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths

Where you go, I'm going, so jump and I'm jumping Since there is no me without you Today, of all days, see How the most dangerous thing is to love How you will heal and you'll rise above Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

i mean. achilles. convincing someone who did great things that they're worthy of more than nothing and death. the length and how many pleas it takes to finish, but achilles' choice is still left unanswered.

also see: the dragon sups - takeharu ishimoto / too much is never enough - florence + the machine / never let me go - florence + the machine / rest up, ignis - yasunori mitsuda / wait for me - agent fresco

---Terence

The Driver - Måneskin

Bare your soul 'till it's naked Bite my lip 'till you break it If you're gonna set fire to the night Baby, let me be the lighter If there's nowhere to go when you wanna go wild I wanna be the driver

enabler terence!!! also lot of feelings abt power. speaker is ordering the subject to rule over them. the subject is the one doing things, but the speaker is a necessary part to all of them. a driver is in charge of the vehicle but not the destination

De Selby (Part 2) - Hozier

What you live in Darling, it finds a way to live in you I wanna run against the world that's turning Let all time slow, let all light go I wanna kill the lights

aka 'terence doesnt actually show any resentment for bahamut for cursing dion into this bs life but for the next 3 minutes 47 seconds he does.' and hes gonna go against the world if dion wants it done

I, Carrion - Hozier

I do not have wings, love, I never will Soarin' over a world you are carryin' If these heights should bring my fall Let me be your own If I should fall, on that day I only pray, don't fall away from me

laughs in dragoons in the sky and bolting straight back down to earth. also bahamut holding the earth. also god this is so saccharine i almost hate it

also see: lover, please stay - nothing but thieves / ghastly medley acoustic - masashi hamauzu / shield of the king - keiichi okabe / the battle is to the strong - kajiura yuki / francesca - hozier / umi to sanshouu - kenshi yonezu / keep me in the open - gang of youths

also terence & kihel tagteam times are the beginning - one ok rock / blood upon the snow - hozier / lost in the snow - yoshitaka suzuki / tendou-sama is smiling - KOKIA / my hands - leona lewis

[prodigaldaughteralice]

My raeda playlist is finally all put together! And because I'm a nutcase, I did an illustration for each track. For the rymin playlist, I tried to make them all go together smoothly, but for this one I decided to challenge myself to do each one in a different style! Here's some thumbnails:

Annotations and full illustrations under the jump :)

Luna-- Hayley Kiyoko; young Raine infatuated with Eda.

Luna, tell me, do you want me here right under you? Trying to follow every move Will you ever come down?

My Best Friend's Hot-- The Dollyrots; young Eda infatuated with Raine.

I'm gonna tell you that you're mean, 'cos you don't know You interrupt another dream, so out you go!

Clean-- Pale Waves; the young lovers.

You're the one girl that I just can't get enough of Maybe it's love, maybe it's a moment. You're the one drug that I don't want to get clean from, Is it too soon to say that I'm falling?

ICIMY-- Phoebe Ryan; Eda post-breakup. (Side note, I had never seen the official music video for this song before I put the playlist together for youtube so I only just found out the love interest in it is also a hot enby. Fate!)

Who do I call when I fall into something I can't escape? What am I supposed to do, what am I supposed to do In case I miss you?

Favourite Record-- Fall Out Boy; Raine post-breakup.

You were the song stuck in my head, every song that I'll ever love. Play it again, and again, and again, And you can get what you want, but it's never enough.

Favourite Year-- The Chicks; looking back on it with a little more distance and fondness.

You looked at me like no one else, But sometimes love just doesn't seem to conquer all.

To Noise Making (Sing!)-- Hozier; Eda hears Raine is teaching for the Bard Coven and misses when their music was free.

I couldn't name the feeling carried in that voice; Was it that, or just the act of making noise that brought you joy?

Best of All Possible Worlds-- Kris Kristofferson; Eda's life on her own (clashing with cops, making trouble)

That policeman said "Mister Cool, if you're not drunk then you're a fool." I said "if that's against the law, tell me why I never saw Nobody in that jail of yours who wasn't just as low-down poor as me?" ...well, that was when someone turned out the lights And I wound up in jail to spend the night...

Music Jail pt. 1-- They Might be Giants; Raine's life on their own (subtler forms of resistance.) Also note that Music Jail pts 1 and 2 are the same track but 2 doesn't suit Raine as well; just bear with me lol

Where you goin', buddy? Where you goin', buddy? Won't you come with me to music jail?

This Love-- Taylor Swift; reunion.

These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me.

I Wish I Was the Moon-- Neko Case; isolated from each other, both trying to make the world better.

Paralyzed and collared tight, No pills for what I fear. This is crazy, I wish I was the moon tonight.

The Long and Winding Road-- The Beatles; Raine realizes they can't keep her out of the loop anymore.

Anyway, you'll never know The many ways I've tried. But still, they lead me back...

Now You Know-- Anaïs Mitchell; together again, Eda thinks about her future, her kids, death, and Raine.

When I think about dying, I think about children, And when I think about children, I think about you.

Lowlife-- That Poppy; delighted to be together after it all.

And I get so lonely, I can't make it on my own, And I need to see you-- can you come to my chateau?

Always-- The Veronicas; they've been through a lot and there will always be difficulties, but it's okay.

My house, my house is yours, so you can take your coat off, And you can close the door, my love's not gonna run out.

Because the Night-- Patti Smith; lovers.

Love is an angel disguised as lust, Here in our bed until the morning comes.

Nothing Matters When We're Dancing-- The Magnetic Fields; Comfortable together.

Dance with me, my old friend, once before we go. Let's pretend this song won't end, and we never have to go home.

Our House-- Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young; the whole rest of their lives gets to be together.

Staring at the fire for hours and hours While I listen to you play your love songs all night long for me Only for me...

[thetalee]

Songs on Their Playlist

I had the thought of putting together a couple short playlists of songs that the characters - Danny and Austin, natch - would listen to, as opposed to songs that I think fit them. Because there's a difference.

(I've grown very attached to the both of them. That isn't necessarily a good thing. Then again, I've already killed off one of them once before...)

Daniel Buckley

"Fire of Unknown Origin" by Blue Oyster Cult

"Travelling Riverside Blues" by Led Zeppelin

"Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas

"Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple

"Rock of Ages" by Def Leppard

"Thunderstruck" by AC/DC

"Enter Sandman" by Metallica

"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses

"Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne

"The Kiss" by The Cure

Austin Jones

"There is a Light That Never Goes Out" by the Smiths

"Black Flies" by Ben Howard

"Just Can't Get Enough" by Depeche Mode

"Little Lion Man" by Mumford and Sons

"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" by the Eurythmics

"Arsonist's Lullabye" by Hozier

"Tainted Love" by Soft Cell

"Breezeblocks" by alt-J

"Blue Monday" by New Order

"Heel Turn 2" by the Mountain Goats

[samuraiko]

My CRITICAL ROLE-inspired NaNoWriMo novel’s playlist

Screw it, I’m going to share this. It doesn’t matter I’m terrified to do this because I think the Critter community will hate it (or me, or both). I’m doing it anyway.

Behold, the entirety of the playlist for my NaNoWriMo 2022 project, the Critical Role-inspired novel THE WIZARD AND THE WEAVER. 

(For those not in the know, NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month (aka November), where you have to write a 50,000+ word novel in 30 days. By no means does this mean your novel is *DONE*, it just means you’ve banged out 50k+ words for it. This year, I hit 65k+ in 30 days!)

The prologue is set in 819 PD, the first third-ish of the novel taking place about six months after the end of C2 (not long after TM9:Reunited) in 837 PD, and the last two-thirds taking place five years after that in 842 PD. And as you can guess by the title, it’s a Caleb-centric novel.

Force of habit, I love writing ‘back cover blurbs.’

And I had art done for it, too, courtesy of the awesomesauce @cvleart​!

As well as this gorgeousness by @cynicalstith​...

Anyway, I promised myself that once I was done, I would post the full track list and a bit about each song (a la the official playlists).

(Full disclosure: as I get into editing this book in 2023, I will likely be adding to the playlist, moving tracks around, etc.)

---

Vault of Glass - Ursine Vulpine, Will Post One of what I call my ‘trailer’ songs, where my mind spins a trailer about one of my books, if I could actually animate it and have voiceover and all that. The clockwork beat and constant repeat of "Again... again... again..." emphasizes the nature of Caleb and Malastra’s journey.

Dust and Light - Twelve Titans Music Another of my "trailer" pieces... I used this for a RIFT trailer I made ages ago for the Nightmare Tide expansion, and Raelskye’s traumatic quest (and Cyril’s role in it) reminds me a bit of Malastra’s here.

Welcome to Wildemount - Critical Role, Colm R. McGuinness My primary researching music.

The Labyrinth - Poets of the Fall The song that was very much the inspiration for Malastra. And I absolutely love, love, LOVE Poets of the Fall.

Firedancer - Poets of the Fall This is Caleb’s theme song and NOTHING anyone says will ever convince me otherwise. THIS IS MY HILL AND I WILL DIE ON IT.

It's the Fear - Within Temptation Malastra has spent so much of her young life running from her fears, but it’s hard to escape them when she carries them within her, and what she fears most is herself.

Arsonist's Lullabye - Hozier Caleb. Full stop. A nod to dear Liam and the original playlists for Caleb.

Let Me Out - Hidden Citizens, Ranya Another of my absolutely favorite groups. In this case, this song has SO many layers of meaning for Malastra.

A New Machine, Pt. 1 - Pink Floyd Eleven lost years... and Caleb's own worst nightmare.

Damascus - Conjure One, Rhys Fulber The thirteenth of Cuersaar, the Night of Ascension, 819 PD - there is blood on the moon as flames leap into the sky in Blumenthal, and the doom of Sevnochiner is born.

I See Fire - Zyrah Kasian's vision, and the fate of Sevnochiner.

Lady of Worlds - Miracle of Sound “We all have a destiny. Whether we want one or not.”

Born In Flames - In This Moment Caleb's not the only one whose life was transformed and traumatized by fire...

Don't Let Me Go (Acoustic) - RAIGN This is Kasian's song.

Gone Away - Noctura Kasian is gone, but Malastra still remembers.

Throw Away - Blue Stahli Eleven years in an asylum for him. Thirteen years on the run for her. The song that sums up those lost, torturous years for both of them.

Unbroken - Really Slow Motion Another song that describes those painful years of self-searching for both Caleb and Malastra.

Once In My Life - The Decemberists Another nod to dearest Liam here, since it wouldn’t be a Caleb playlist without the Decemberists on it. And this is for both Caleb and Malastra.

Wait for Sleep - Dream Theater Exhausted, starving, alone, and afraid, Malastra dreads every sundown...

Whisper - Evanescence ... because when the sun goes down, the nightmares come out to play.

The Mystic's Dream - Loreena McKennitt From Issylra to Tal'Dorei to Wildemount, a glowing thread of destiny leads a girl onward to the flame that will light her future.

Love Theme from The Dark Crystal - Trevor Jones A half-mad, half-dead girl arrives on a wizard's doorstep... and their lives are forever changed.

Deliver Me - Sarah Brightman The very first meeting between Malastra and Caleb. Another scene I want to commission art for.

I Love the Way You Say My Name - Scarlet Dorn, Chris Harms "'Freundin'... Zemnian. It means 'friend.'"

Someone Like You - Jekyll & Hyde This is 100% Malastra’s feelings toward Caleb. Unfortunately, her feelings are a naïve tangled mess and not nearly as simple as she’d like to think they are. Never mind his feelings for her...

Jesus to a Child - George Michael Caleb’s feelings toward Malastra... sort of. I had also considered using "Father Figure" (also by George Michael), but that song takes their relationship a little TOO close to a line neither they nor I think they should cross. For Caleb, the problem is that he feels several different conflicting things.

Haunting Me - Stabbing Westward The dysfunctional side of Malastra and Caleb’s relationship. And it also works for how their pasts won’t leave them alone.

Lune - Notre-Dame de Paris This version’s in French, and I’m still not even sure I’ll keep this one, but this is the Essek song on the list. Here we have Essek singing about Caleb, but unlike in the original show where Gringoire is a neutral observer, I imagine Essek is painfully aware of what Caleb is going through because he cares for Caleb.

Towers Of The Void - Brian Reitzell The story behind a name.

When All is Lost - Timothy Robert Shortell The music behind several touching conversations between the Empire kids. The dynamic between Beauregard and Caleb was just pure pleasure to write, and seeing how their friendship has just deepened over the years.

Until It Sleeps - Metallica Considering that Malastra’s nightmares can KILL people, "It" in this song is Malastra herself.

A Sacrifice to Save You - Effsio Cross If I could set the montage of Caleb's research and study about Malastra and her magic to music, it'd be this. Day after day, night after night, chasing down the truth of what haunts this strange girl.

I Bleed for You - Peter Gundry The Wizard at work in the chamber of endless possibility atop the Tower.

Walking in the Air - Nightwish Caleb showing off his magic to Malastra, showing her just how beautiful the world can be when you let it.

As the World Falls Down - David Bowie The ballroom scene in LABYRINTH very much informed a certain aspect of Malastra and Caleb's perceptions of each other at one point...

Malleus Maleficarum - Hans Zimmer The crafting of the Pendant of Dreamless Rest.

Carry Me - Eurielle If the pendant that Caleb crafts for Malastra has a theme song, this is it.

Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel) - Billy Joel Caleb to Malastra as she sleeps, safe and truly at peace for the first time in her life. And yes, I want art for this too. I want art for a LOT of the scenes I imagine in this book, okay?

Of These Chains - Red Malastra as she's preparing to leave Caleb for the first time and go in search of her destiny.

Prayer - The Scarlet Pimpernel Caleb after Malastra leaves. He knows that her leaving is the right thing for her to do... but the human heart is a complicated thing.

Recover - Globus, Anneke Van Giersbergen Malastra’s journey during the five-year time skip.

Spell of the Heart - Isabella LeVan "Gute nacht, Caleb. I miss you." "Gute nacht, freundin. Ich vermisse dich auch." This song was a deliciously unexpected discovery (thanks to a friend of mine for pointing me at Isabella’s work), and was SUCH a perfect representation of the five-year time skip between Act 1 and Act 2 as far as Caleb and Malastra’s relationship was concerned.

Sleep Well, My Angel - We Are The Fallen Malastra and Caleb talking about each other, not realizing that they are both making the exact same mistake.

Hurt - Christina Aguilera Caleb and Malastra about their respective parents, and in a melancholic fashion, about each other during the time skip.

Witch Hunt - Abney Park Don't stop running, Malastra...

Only Us - Miracle of Sound Once lovers, then enemies, now uneasy allies - Astrid leads Caleb ever closer to temptation... all he has to do is hand over Malastra.

Back to the Blooming Grove - Critical Role, Steven Grove Reunited after five years, and in serious need of divinely-inspired insight, Caleb takes Malastra to the Savalirwood to consult with Caduceus.

The Rite of Destiny - Chance Thomas Malastra's musical offering at the Blooming Grove, and a blessing woven upon the temple.

Journey to the Abyss - Daniel Health Caleb, Beau, and Malastra journey to Vasselheim in search of answers.

Coda - Matt Uelmen "Once there was, and was not, in ancient Issylra..."

Raven - Melissa VanFleet Within the blood pool of communion of Raven's Crest, Malastra and Caleb each have their own soul-rending encounter with the Matron of Ravens, but not surprisingly, they are left with more questions than answers.

Helix - Soul Extract The darker, dysfunctional side of Malastra’s relationship with Caleb, while the latter half’s instrumental is very much Caleb, Malastra, et al bringing the fire.

Behind the mind - Zero-Project Searching for answers and guidance at the behest of the Raven Queen, Malastra's soul reaches beyond the veil and encounters the Champion of the Matron of Ravens... Vax'ildan.

Until Eternity (Orchestral Version) - Blackbriar Malastra sees through Vax'ildan's eyes, and learns of the doomed love that saved Tal'Dorei...

Taken by Storm - Christian Reindl Malastra's first experience with the Tapestry.

Eternal Flame - Randall Jermain, Alexa Ray, Atom Music Audio The anthem of the Mighty Nein.

The Volstruckers - Critical Role, Colm R. McGuinness The Empire will do anything to protect its secrets, and it trusts only a very, very few to safeguard those secrets at any cost.

Burn - I Will Never Be The Same When the Volstrucker get their hands on Caleb, hoping to lure in Malastra. Fick ihr alle.

Crimson Blaze - 2WEI I love 2WEI's music so much - and this was an immediate choice for the Volstrucker vs Caleb fight.

I Remember - Les Friction, Emily Valentine I love this band so much. This one is Caleb, and the bitter, broken, warped role that love has played in his life, courtesy of Trent, Astrid, and Eadwulf. Here is Caleb reaching out to Malastra and the Nein, his heart screaming for their help.

Destiny of Mankind (Choir) - Two Steps From Hell Malastra and the Nein arrive to take back their friend, and the gods help whoever stands in their way.

Magic Fortuna (New Version) - Highland Caleb being a badass.

Torsion - Mark Petrie “We’re not going to run, freundin... we’re going to fly.” It's Caleb and Malastra vs the Volstrucker in a desperate airborne battle over the towers of Rexxentrum.

Nightfall - J2, Elvor After fleeing Rexxentrum, Caleb and Malastra escape and hide in the Tower, but separated from the Nein, injured, and hunted, Caleb wonders how long they can evade the Volstrucker.

Requiem of the Night - Audiomachine The nine chambers of memory.

In Your Arms - Ryan Louder, Ashley Serena A theme that keeps showing up over and over is Caleb holding Malastra. For a girl who has never known kindness, it's small wonder that this is the safest place for her.

Kill Or Be Killed (No Vocals) - Epic Score Someone wants Malastra dead, but the Nein aren't going to just stand by and let that happen.

Freedom Fighters - Two Steps From Hell Another one of my 'trailer' pieces, this would absolutely be the montage of the Mighty Nein encouraging, training, and helping Malastra discover her true power, as well as her true self.

Wargirl - Sybrid, Tatiana Shishkova The paladin, the clerics, the wizard, the rogue, the monk, the blood hunter, and the barbarian team up to train the weaver.

Boat On The River - Styx Kingsley and Malastra sharing a moment as the tiefling takes her under his wing.

Peace Like a River - Dean Evenson A shared love of music leads to a tender moment of friendship and understanding between Yasha and Malastra.

The Grey Havens - Chance Thomas A bittersweet moment between Malastra and Marion, the Ruby of the Sea.

Tairitsu - Yuki Hayashi "By the light of the Luxon..." Malastra’s first glimpse of just how much damage was done to the Tapestry thanks to Essek’s actions, and a very hard, very painful conversation between Essek and Malastra.

Prime Directive - Mark Petrie First the Volstrucker, then the Lens - and it's dunamancy vs Weaving.

No One But You - Erutan While the song itself is so perfect for Malastra’s simplest, heartfelt feelings for Caleb, the music behind this one became the basis for the song "Oror, Oror" that Malastra sings while soul-weaving. It was heartbreaking to write a lullaby for Malastra, and I tear up every time I listen to it. (It’s also canon that Malastra cries every time she sings the last chorus.)

Influence - Elephant Music Until now, all of Malastra's nightmares have been reliving her past... but when that changes.,,

Darkness Falls - UNSECRET, Cece and the Dark Hearts The Nein are trapped in Malastra's nightmarish vision of the destruction of Exandria. GODS, I want so badly to commission art of this scene, but it’d cost me a FORTUNE. (And this song, by the way, was the one that absolutely crystallized the plot of THE WIZARD AND THE WEAVER.)

End of an Empire - Celldweller The Dwendalian Empire and the Kryn Dynasty. 'Nuff said.

Oblivion Awaits - Neal Acree With some help from Caduceus, the Nein and Malastra learn the dark secret about Sevnochiner.

Fade to Black - Les Friction The fate of the Weavers.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise) (cover) - Chase Holfelder, Tom Evans Malastra and Caleb - broken, stumbling, praying for deliverance. I hear this song and I imagine them dancing quietly together in the salon of Widogast’s Nascent Nein-Sided Tower, almost afraid to even look at each other but still clinging to each other, and then at various times through the book, sobbing in the other’s arms.

Neo-Somnovem Incarnate - Critical Role, Colm R. McGuinness No plan survives contact with the enemy, but if anyone is at their best when everything goes wrong and the chips are down, it's the Mighty Nein.

Sanctity of Sorrow - Damned Anthem The Mighty Nein vs the Empire and the Dynasty.

Bound by Purpose - Twelve Titans Music Sometimes you have to take a stand, even knowing you're doomed to fail.

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik (Epic Trailer Version) - Hidden Citizens If I could animate a video of Caleb pulling out ALL the stops with his magic, it'd be to this song.

Sonera - Thomas Bergersen The Weaver coming into her own at last, with the Wizard by her side.

Survivor - 2WEI, Edda Hayes A cover of the Destiny's Child song, this is absolutely the anthem for both Caleb and Malastra at the climax of the book. For all that their pasts have broken them, still they rise up from the ashes to emerge "bloodied, bold, and resolute." And for the second half, we have the Wizard and the Weaver REALLY bringing their powers to bear, fully in control and absolutely ready to WRECK someone’s shit.

Unusual Way - Linda Eder For all the heartache and confusion and pain they put each other through...

Let It Be Me (Epic Trailer Version) - J2, Miranda Dianne When you finally find someone worth fighting for... and living for.

Vengeance Is Mine 2.0 - Epica A new Hall of Destinies to build, a new Dzayny to serve it, and a new Weaver to guard it.

The Stars Are Out - Dexter Britain "Wilkommen zuhause, liebchen."

[prose-priest-potentate]

Imrath's Essentials Playlist

Tough to Be a Dreamer - Felix Hagan & the Family Do My Own Thing - American Authors creature - half-alive Sunlight - Hozier Everything Moves - Bronze Radio Return I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor Any Other Way - We The Kings Whisper Something - Aaron Sprinkle

Thoughts and explanations under the cut >

Tough to Be a Dreamer - Felix Hagan & the Family

"Everyone’s a sucker for a taste of glory, but stories are for children, and glory’s not a taste I can acquire… And as time goes by, I must admit it seems like I was sold a lie. Makes me want to cry… 

Well I’m not one to get uptight for no good reason. And everyone’s got problems, no more or less pathetic than mine… ‘Cause I’m trying to project a sunny disposition, but it’s hard to paint a smile on wasted young ambition.

If my whole damn life is set to disappoint, well I guess there’s nothing left to do but smile, so smile… Well ain’t no use in crying, darling… Well if this is that ever will be, that’s okay!"

Imrath's a very well loved family disappointment, making do with what he's given and working his ass off to be the son his clan deserves, but it doesn't mean he doesn't know that he's their beloved failure.

Do My Own Thing - American Authors

"I spent my whole life trying to fit into a lane, but I’m so over it… I spent so long with my head buried in the sand - my future needs a rewrite, so I’ll send a postcard from wherever I may land, I ain’t got no master plan, and that’s alright."

By the time he's ready to assume the mantle of adulthood, he's offered power and oppurtunity to make something of himself - to make himself more, and he takes it. Once he does, he never regrets it.

creature - half-alive

More or less a think piece on being blind and taking the first steps off the edge into the unknown with a god at his back, and how those are the same steps that lead to the rest of his life. Freedom from expectations and learning to carry the weight of new conviction on his shoulders is a major character point.

Sunlight - Hozier

"On first and fierce affirming sight of sunlight… I had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight. Oh, your love is sunlight… A soul that’s born in cold and rain knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight… and at last can grant a name."

Amaunator is the Keeper of the Eternal Sun - how could I not? Also, I like the idea that Imrath is a moth to Amaunator, but then once he's walked the width of the world in his boots, he becomes the Light himself for others.

Everything Moves - Bronze Radio Return

This one's about him showing up in Barovia, getting trapped, being lost, spinning with a chest full of faith and willingness to do. Restless, curious, and moving every forward to right wrongs and return order where it is crumbling.

I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor

Usually, he's charming and chatty and overly kind. A gracious guest who will put himself in the middle of an awkward conversation to smooth it over, but sometimes - the times Izek likes best - he drops all the pretense and reminds everyone that he's a soldier with a mouthful of sharp teeth.

"It's hard to be charming and smart and disarming... It's hard to fulfill everyone's expectations, it's hard to keep up with the rest, but I'm gonna win. I'm gonna try... You've seen me before, you'll see me again. I'll never give up. I'll never give in."

Any Other Way - We The Kings

I just like this one for a paladin who's already fire themed. This is one of two Final Battle Songs I have picked out for the plot.

Whisper Something - Aaron Sprinkle

This is the Izek song. This whole damn song. Just the WHOLE SONG I could break down the entire thing. SO. 

“-you underestimated who you were supposed to be-” with Izek’s self hatred affecting how he sees himself, but he needs to be alive for the people who love him (even if he doesn’t understand why they love him)

“-you got underneath my skin and you broke into my heart-” this is both of them: Imrath weasled his way into Izek’s attention (and affection) pretty easily, and Izek wedged himself into Imrath’s heart like a blade to the chest.

“-hold on… let me find the words… don’t let go now… we’ll make it somehow” this whole piece of the song reminds me of every night watch they took, trying to get to know each other without prying, Imrath putting his foot in his mouth and having to backpedal, and Izek, who keeps his secrets (and sins) close to his chest. They bumbled through so many conversations, man.

[beansbitch]

rating every song on the spotify today's top hits playlist (12th july 2024) for funsies

1. Please Please Please - Sabrina Carpenter

She's gotten a lot of mileage out of being a silly goofy girl. 7/10

3. BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

2. Si Antes Te Hubiera Conocido - KAROL G

It's a vibe. 6/10

This new album is great, would definitely recommend. 8/10

5. A Bar Song (Tipsy) - Shaboozey

4. Good Luck, Babe! Chappell Roan

It's good luck babe by chappell roan. 10/10

I actually kinda dig this, I think it works really well. 7/10

6. Not Like Us - Kendrick Lamar

Physical manifestation of the phrase "get dunked on", and it's just fun to listen to. 10/10

7. MILLION DOLLAR BABY - Tommy Richman

The VHS version is better. 9/10

8. Too Sweet - Hozier

Hozier. 10/10

9. Beautiful Things - Benson Boone

Oh, objectively bad song, they could never make me hate you <3. 6/10

10. I Had Some Help - Post Malone, Morgan Wallen

Eh. 4/10

11. Espresso - Sabrina Carpenter

Once again, silly goofy. 7/10

12. i like the way you kiss me - Artemas

It's my understanding that all of the vocals in this are the same one dude and that's kinda impressive actually. 8/10

13. Stargazing - Myles Smith

Could go way harder. 6/10

14. LUNCH - Billie Eilish

Did not anticipate her preferred style of flirting to be "goofy" but you know what, it works. 9/10

15. End of Beginning - Djo

you take the man out of the city not the city out the man you take the man out of the city not the city out the man you- 8/10

16. we can't be friends (wait for your love) - Ariana Grande

Song that exists. 6/10

18. Tough - Quavo, Lana Del Rey

17. Lose Control - Teddy Swims

Got through this whole post without realizing I hadn't written anything for this song until the very end and. yeah, pretty much. 7/10

Weird collab, but okay. 7/10

19. Austin - Dasha

I'm still not entirely sure how boots could "stop working". 7/10

20. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart - Taylor Swift

Should've been the single instead of Fortnight. 6/10

21. Houdini - Eminem

This is so dated that when I first heard it I had to go check if it was a "Tiktok making a 20 year old song popular" thing, but no, it's just that cringe. 1/10

22. Nasty - Tinashe

Eh. 5/10

23. Belong Together - Mark Ambor

This one makes my skin crawl for some reason. 3/10

24. Slow It Down - Benson Boone

I have no idea what to do with this. 5/10

25. HOT TO GO! - Chappell Roan

H-O-T-T-O-G-O YOU CAN TAKE ME HOT TO GO!! 9/10

26. GIRLS - The Kid LAROI

is it bad that i think this direction kinda works for this guy? 5/10

27. greedy - Tate McRae

I forget who said it first, but song is a lot better if you interpret it as a semi-ominous warning. 7/10

28. Move - Adam Port, Stryv, Keinemusik, Orso, Malachiii

wow that's a lot of artist credits (I say that because I have nothing else to say about this song). 6/10

29. Fortnight - Taylor Swift, Post Malone

"i love you, it's ruining my life" would be a good all lowercase AO3 title. 4/10

30. Saturn - SZA

Amen, sister, there's gotta be a better life somewhere. 10/10

31. 28 - Zach Bryan

It's good but not in a way where there's much to discuss. 8/10

32. Close To You - Gracie Abrams

Eh, I don't get the hate, this is perfectly serviceable white girl music. 5/10

33. the boy is mine - Ariana Grande

That record skip effect on "divine" gets me every time. 10/10

34. Stick Season - Noah Kahan

Why is this still here. 9/10

35. I Don't Wanna Wait - David Guetta, OneRepublic

STOP. 1/10

36. Smeraldo Garden Marching Band - Jimin, Loco

Would I get killed for saying this sounds kind of cluttered and disjointed? 5/10

37. Stumblin' In - CYRIL

I feel like this shouldn't work as well as it does, but I can't put my finger on why... 8/10

38. 360 Charli xcx

I don't get the hype. 5/10

39. Rockstar - LISA

The beat carries this one for me but to be fair, it's a pretty good beat. 7/10

40. One of The Girls - The Weeknd, JENNIE, Lily-Rose Depp:

This gives literally nothing but unfortunately I have and will always be a sucker for this vibe in music. 6/10

41. Scared to Start - Micheal Marcagi:

The chorus of this is a callout post to me specifically. 9/10

42. Lies Lies Lies - Morgan Wallen

I just listened to this two minutes ago and I already forgot everything about it. 3/10

43. feelslikeimfallinginlove - Coldplay

Yeah this is what Coldplay sounds like. 7/10

44. Parking Lot - Mustard, Travis Scott

Pretty okay. 5/10

45. Gata Only - FloyyMenor, Cris Mj

I can't understand a single word of this. 7/10

46. BAND4BAND - Central Cee, Lil Baby

This kinda goes hard actually. 8/10

47. Santa - Rvssian, Rauw Alejandro, Ayra Starr

Have a negative amount of words to say about this one somehow. 6/10

48. Magnetic - ILLIT

Certified banger. 7/10

49. Water - Tyla

What if I said 10/10. What would you be able to do about that.

50. Illusion - Dua Lipa

I would like this more if she hadn't made some variation of this song like half a dozen times. 6/12

[pythors-pandemic]

Talk - Lava Oneshot

Summary: Kai finally makes a move on Cole during a new years eve party

Pairing: Cole x Kai

Takes Place: After season 7

Warnings: sexual tension, swearing

Word Count: 2,111

A/N: i got this idea from the song talk by hozier, also sorry morro

Masterlist

Kai’s jaw dropped when he walked out to the monestary’s courtyard.

 There he was, in all his glory, sweat dripping off his perfectly chiseled physique. Cole training. 

Kai leaned against a post and watched for a moment, heat growing inside his stomach. He couldn’t deny his attraction to the Master of Earth. The two had been spending more and more time together, and with every hang out session, the more his attraction grew. It was starting to become unbearable. 

“Hey, creep.” Cole panted, noticing Kai’s presence. 

“Oh hey, sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.” He muttered, blush creeping its way up his neck. 

“Like what you see?” Cole laughed. He stopped what he was doing and grabbed a water bottle off the ground. He held Kai’s gaze as he took a long drink. “What’s up?” he asked once he was finished, walking over to him. 

“I was just going to the kitchen.” Kai responded, embarrassment written on his face. He stood up as Cole walked closer. 

“And what? Got distracted?” Cole smirked, inches away now. Cole knew what Kai thought of him. He thought the same of Kai. It was a game for Cole. He loved watching Kai get flustered at his flirty remarks. His smirk only grew as he watched Kai stammer for a response.

“I-- um… hey! Are you excited about the new years party?” Kai finally said.

“Yeah. It’ll be really fun. I can’t wait for Jay to get absolutely plastered again.” Cole joked, making Kai laugh. 

Kai tried his hardest to keep composure as Cole walked with him to the kitchen. The smell of his sweat was driving him crazy. In all honesty, Kai was getting sick of the game. He wanted nothing more than to do all the things he had dreamt about with Cole. Every joke, comment, remark, made Kai grow more and more eager for something to happen. 

He was also aware of his lack of game playing. Cole had a quality about him. He took Kai off guard every chance he got. Even if Kai tried to talk refined, tried to get a remark in himself, he couldn’t. Cole left him a heated, flustered mess. But, he had a plan to change that. 

---

Guests would be arriving in a few hours. The entire team was working hard at getting the monastery ready for the party. Zane in the kitchen cooking, Nya and Misako decorating, Cole bringing seating and tables to the courtyard, Lloyd perfectly crafting a music playlist, and Jay and Kai making the drink station. 

“Hey, dude,” Jay said, waving his hand in front of Kai’s face, “you okay?” He asked. 

“Uhm--” Kai cleared his throat, “Yeah. I’m good.” He answered, not looking away from what caught his attention.

Cole, simply doing his duties, carrying fold out tables to the courtyard. He was wearing a loose fitting tank top, arms fully exposed. Just the sight of him was enough for Kai. 

Jay furrowed his eyebrows and followed Kai’s gaze. “Oh jeez, are you still pining for him?” He groaned, looking over at Cole. 

“I’m not pining. He’s just…” Kai trailed off. 

“Sooo hunky!” Jay cooed in a high pitched voice. He grabbed a bottle of liquor and poured it into a punch bowl.

“Ugh zip it, Jay.” Kai grumbled.

“You two need to just give up and give it to each other.” Jay rolled his eyes with a smile. He dropped the empty bottle into the trash and picked up a jug of cranberry juice. 

“Dude!” Kai smacked his chest, embarrassed by his friend’s blantentness. “I’m working on it. I have a plan.” He said, peeling his eyes away from Cole. 

“Oh, a plan? Your plans never go well.” Jay said, pouring half the cranberry juice into the bowl. “Everytime you’re around him you get all goofy. I’m betting you’ll mess it up somehow.”  He laughed, picking up a jug of pineapple juice to mix into his punch.

“Well I won't. Just watch.” Kai said with a cocky grin.

“Yeah sure, Romeo.” Jay laughed in disbelief.

“And on that note, I’m going to get ready.” Kai informed him. He started to walk away but a question stopped him. “Oh! Is Morro coming?” He asked. 

“Yeah… why?” Jay asked. Kai didn’t answer, he just smiled and walked off to his room.

---

“Damn. I look fiyaaa!” Kai said, flexing at himself in the mirror. He had his outfit picked out for days. His tightest fitting black ripped jeans, a pair of black doc martens, and a red v-neck tank. The shirt perfectly showed off his chest and arms. As a cherry on top, he dusted body glitter over his exposed skin. He finished off the outfit by tucking in the shirt and adding a belt. He felt accomplished as he looked at the final look. Cole won’t be able to resist. 

Kai checked the clock on his wall, he was late to his own party. He heard the music start a few minutes ago, but paid little attention to it. He took a deep breath before leaving his room. 

On his walk to the courtyard, he bumped into a certain someone. Oh fuck.

Cole was wearing a black velvet button up that wasn’t buttoned up. “Oh hey!” He smiled, looking Kai up and down. “You look… good.” a lazy smile made its wait to his lips as he leaned against the wall. 

Kai’s skin heated up under his gaze. He swallowed his nerves and tried to ignore the millions of unsavory thoughts that entered his mind. “So do you. Is anyone here yet?” He asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah people are starting to show up. I was just going to the bathroom before more people got here.” Cole informed him. “Are you ready to party?” 

Kai smirked. It was time to put his plan into action. “Fuck yeah. This holiday has my favorite tradition.” 

“And what’s that?” Cole asked, leaning closer. 

Kai’s smirk widened. He pulled Cole’s shirt down while leaning up to bring his lips close to his ear. “Why, the new year's kiss, of course.” He whispered seductively before walking away. 

Cole stood in the hall completely flabbergasted. Kai took him off guard, way off guard. He wasn’t prepared for him to make the remark this time. He swallowed hard before slowly making his way to the bathroom, Kai’s words lingering in his head. 

---

Usually, Kai would feel bad for using someone like this, but he still had a bit of resentment against Morro from what he did to Lloyd. 

Morro returned to his mortal self along with Cole on the day of the departed. Ever since then, he tried his hardest to make up for his actions. It had been working. All the ninja had become pretty close with him ever since. However, Morro also tried harder with Kai. He was obviously crushing, and tonight, Kai was going to use that to his advantage. 

He smiled as he spotted Morro by the drinks table. “How’s the mortal body treating you?” He asked him, resting his hand on his shoulder.

“Oh! Hey, Kai.” Morro smiled widely, “It’s good. I’m doing good. How are you?” He asked, pouring himself a drink. 

“I’m pumped! I love new years.” Kai returned the smile, getting a drink for himself. “You look good, by the way.” He added, running his hand down Morro’s arm. 

“Um.. thanks.” Morro blushed. 

Kai was about to say his next line, but Jay had decided to join their conversation, effectively putting his plan on halt.

“Hey guys! How are we doing tonightttt?!” Jay wrapped his arm around Kai’s shoulder, already showing signs of intoxication. “I haven’t seen you in forever!” He smiled at Morro.

“It’s good to see you too, Jay.” Morro nodded.

“Oh my god, did you know Kai was really bad at coming up with plans?!” Jay laughed, making Kai’s face go stone cold. 

“I don’t know how true that is, he bested me.” Morro said, taking a sip of his drink. 

“No, but like, he’s so bad at coming up with plans. You know when sometimes, plans have to be secretive? Like, it shouldn’t be obvious that there’s even a plan happening?!” Jay asked. His face was flushed and he was swaying all around. 

“Jay, what the hell are you talking about?” Kai asked, a faux laugh following. 

“Yeah, you know the ones,” Jay continued, “Well. Kai does this thing, where he comes up with a plan and makes it painfully obvious what the plan is. It’s so funny!” 

Morro looked between the boys, utterly confused. “Jay? How much have you had to drink?” He asked. 

“Oh, not that much actually.” Jay shrugged lazily.

“How about you go find Nya and hang out with her a bit, okay buddy?” Kai said, patting Jay’s back. 

“Okie dokie. Good luck with that plan!” Jay laughed, stumbling off. 

“What was that?!” Morro laughed. 

“Jay likes to drink on holidays.” Kai laughed along. 

That was when he spotted him. Cole, staring. They made eye contact for a second. Kai could feel the jealousy growing. This was his moment. 

He turned his attention back to Morro. “So… have you been seeing anyone?” He asked, raising a suggestive eyebrow. 

“No,” Morro answered with a nervous chuckle. “…What?” he asked when he saw Kai’s expression change.

“Nothing. That surprises me is all.” Kai responded. He looked back up at Cole, making sure to catch his gaze before he continued. “You’re just so…” He carefully moved a piece of hair out of Morro’s face and behind his ear. Then, he rested his hand on his chest and leaned forward, “intriguing.” He finished, returning his hand to his side.

“Oh yeah? What about you, Mr. Master of Fire?” Morro responded flirtatiously. Kai was about to respond before he noticed Cole leave the room from the corner of his eye. 

“Fuck, sorry. I have to go to the bathroom.” Kai muttered, quickly following after Cole. 

---

Kai smiled to himself when he found Cole leaned against a wall in the hallway, lost in thought. He walked over and leaned on the opposite wall of Cole, mirroring his position. “Leaving the party early?”

Cole clenched his jaw and refused to look up from his drink. “Morro, huh?” He muttered, anger behind his words. 

“Yeah, we’re just having a chat. Catching up.” Kai played dumb, amusing himself further. 

“Seemed like a little more than a chat to me.” Cole said into his drink before taking a sip.

“Oh my, is-- are you… jealous?! Cole, baby… you’re jealous!” Kai teased, a bright smile appearing on his face.

Cole quickly downed the rest of his drink and threw the solo cup to the ground before finally meeting Kai’s eyes. His stare was dark and hard and angry.

“Yeah I’m fucking jealous.” He grumbled. He pulled himself off the wall and started walking slowly towards Kai. “Are you fucking kidding?!” He said, his voice raising. “And after that little new years tradition thing?! ” He was pissed, and Kai loved it. “How can I not be jealous? Seeing you, looking like that, flirting with someone else? You’re driving me fucking crazy, Kai.” 

Something about the way Cole said his name, made Kai’s skin burn. He wanted more. “Wait, so you don’t want me flirting with other people?” He asked, faux confusion in his voice.

“No, I fucking hate it.” Cole snapped. 

Kai smiled, “Why?” He cocked his head and crossed his arms. 

“I can’t get you out of my mind,” With each word, Cole grew closer and closer. Kai’s heart pumped faster, his smug expression leaving his face. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” His voice was growing quieter and he refused to break eye contact. “About your smile, about your laugh…” He trailed off, finally reaching Kai. 

He uncrossed Kai’s arms and brought his hands to his waist. “About my hands on you…” He tightened his grip, pushing the two against the wall. Cole was starting to lose composure, and Kai could tell. “About yours on me…” Kai ran his hands up Cole’s torso to rest on his chest as he spoke. “About all the things I would do…” He leaned his forehead against Kai’s. “All the things we could do…” He whispered, pulling Kai’s hips against his. Kai gasped at the contact. “I want you, Kai.”

Kai brought both his hands to either side of Cole’s face. He leaned forward, their lips centimeters apart, before whispering, “Then do something about it.”

Cole’s breath hitched as he closed the gap. Their lips connected in a fiery, passionate, kiss that would stay with them for the rest of the night and into the early hours of the morning.

[ivyglow]

More than friends | Carter Hart

A/n: Sooo, I was supposed to be done with this piece before our win last night, but my laptop keeps stopping, and the new one only arrives this week, in the meantime I’m stuck with this one and taking longer than ever to write the requests. Anyway, thank you for the patience, and if you want to support my writing, you can always like, reblog and share my posts with a friend you think might like it.

Shout out to Tori for the amazing job proofreading this piece. You’re the best, @guentzgoal​

PS. The songs mentioned in this chapter are Hozier (work song) and Ed Sheeran (friends). 

Requested: Yes

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mention of Friday’s mess aka 5-0 against the Canadiens. 

Summary: You’re the media management to the Philadelphia Flyers, and during the bubble time, you get closer to Carter being the person he runs to after the terrible game that day. You two finally realize something more developed between the friendship.

When everything started to crumble down, he wished for you. He’d imagined that you were probably in your room cuddled up with a bunch of blankets listening to your Hozier-favorites playlist while sipping cold tea. Carter occasionally even wished for everything to be a nightmare, that he was just sleeping on your couch while you watched one of your favorite horror movies, any different situation would be better than the current disaster happening. 

He couldn’t help but blame himself for every little thing. 

He was the one that let the puck reach the net four times, he thought. 

Somehow his head made him sure of this thought when he was pulled off the ice to the bench. He was angry, afflict, and all he wanted was for the team to score at least once or twice, so the loss wouldn’t be as awful as it was feeling at the time. 

But as you would sometimes say to him, “das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” and even more than to hear your strange sayings, Carter liked to internalize them, because usually, they were great instructions for life. And to think that “life is no pony farm” was useful in times like this, it reminded him that it doesn’t matter how much he wished or worked, sometimes, it wasn’t meant to be. However, it didn’t erase your feelings, and that’s why he was fuming when he closed the door and went to the locker room. 

He tried to look unbothered enough to the media on the aftergame conversation, but on the inside, Carter was drowning in stress and guilt. During the drive back to the hotel, he thought about texting you to let you know he was crashing in your room that night, but he got carried away reading what people were thinking about his performance in the game. 

Most of them hated it.

And so did he.

Carter was thinking about how poorly he played when he knocked at your door, and you probably thought the same, but Carter wanted, no, he needed to see you and hear you, and he was sure you wouldn’t let him down. Your presence always did wonders for him and his self-esteem. He would probably hear “das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” for the hundredth time, talk about how shitty he was feeling and let you caress his hair, and only this itself would make his day a little better. 

When the door opened to show you wearing a bathrobe, Carter lost his air for a couple of seconds. The mop of curls wet sitting on the top of your head, the dark skin, long lashes, full lips...everything about you was perfect to him, and he cheesily thought that maybe in another lifetime you were his queen and he would bow and adore you like you were the most perfect thing to walk the earth. 

“When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her” Hozier was softly playing inside your room.  

Carter thought about what to say, but nothing seemed to be enough, nothing made justice to how he was feeling on the inside, but he knew by the look in your eyes that you understood everything, every little detail, every bruise, and every deep and shaky breath. 

You took the bag from his shoulders and dropped it on the side of the door, before grabbing his hand and bringing his body closer. You watched the whole game while working on some management reports, as part of the media management team. You wished you were there. Nevertheless, just like the hockey team, everyone had a specific task, and yours today was writing and studying some more essential ideas discussed previously. You were not expecting Carter to show up at your door so soon. You knew he would eventually come around, and Carter said himself that he preferred to be close to you whenever he felt bad because you knew exactly when to ramble about yourself to take his mind off whatever was bothering him and when to listen to him and give advice. 

As soon as his scent hit your nose, you closed your eyes and enjoyed the hug. He was warm, and his hair was still wet from the shower, the fabric of his suit brought some kind of comfort when it came in contact with your skin and all you wanted to do was hold him until all his anguish was over. 

“You’re okay, we’re okay,” you whispered, peppering kisses along the exposed skin of his neck and jaw, the available surfaces when you crushed against him. 

You felt Carter nod his head, before finally putting a small space between the two of you.

“I’m sorry I forgot to text you to ask if I could just show up and…”

“Hey, it’s fine, we’re friends, no need to stress over this. And yes, you can crash here tonight as long as nobody notices, you know,” you traced his nose and the crease in his eyebrows.

And as much as you noticed every little detail of him, you were not able to see the way his face twitched when you said “friends” because as much as he loved your friendship, he got himself wishing for more in times like these. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, dropping a kiss to your forehead.

You disappeared to take off the moisturizer from your hair, and Carter took the time to make himself comfortable by taking his jacket off along with his shoes, letting the blankets on the couch engulf his body. 

“Das Leben ist kein Ponyhof,” you whispered when you came back. Now dressed in your pajamas and with your hair slightly damp, you lay beside your favorite goaltender on the couch. He dropped his head to your shoulders and made himself small, so you could take care of him the way he liked. And so with your favorite playlist playing and your fingers massaging gently at his scalp Carter fell asleep. 

He woke up with your voice distant, and a playlist still going, although it was not the Hozier one anymore. The room was darker than when he lay there, the only source of light coming from the open windows and one lamp, he noticed that you had lit a candle on the coffee table and that there was also a cup of water sitting there. 

Carter felt cared for and loved. He loved how your little details always made him feel better.

“I called room service, they’re getting our dinner here soon…” you appeared in the room again with your cellphone in your hands. “What’s up?” you asked, laying beside Carter one more time. 

The distance was little, and he thought about the way your friendship worked. It felt like more than friendship, and Carter took his time thinking about how he never sleeps with his friends like he sleeps with you. The way his friends cared about him but never the way you did. How he wanted to kiss you goodbye every time you parted ways and how he wished to just lay with you for as long as possible, just taking your scent in, enjoying your company, and your very specific playlists. 

“Hartsy?” you called again, confused with how he just zoned out. “Is everything okay? What are you thinking about?” 

He shifts on the couch, and now your faces are even closer. “Nothing...I was...this is a good song, never heard it.” 

You chuckled before directing your attention to the lyrics playing as background noise. Your heart did a little double-take, and you couldn’t help but turn your eyes to the face in front of yours.

“Friends just sleep in another bed, and friends don't treat me like you do. Well, I know that there's a limit to everything, but my friends won't love me like you. No, my friends won't love me like you.” 

You shivered when his thumb found your chin bringing your face even closer. It slipped through your face drawing little dots connecting every far end. You enjoyed the feeling, and though his hands were calloused, the pad of his fingertips felt soft and comfortable against your skin.

“Are we friends, or are we more?” his voice was so low you were sure if you weren’t staring at his lips, you would not understand. 

And when his thumb found your lips opening slightly, you closed your eyes, too overwhelmed with the new sensations to bother with an answer. You wanted him to crash the space between your lips and finally dive in, you wanted him to be more than friends, and you wanted to comfort him after everything. 

You wanted Carter and Carter only. 

You wanted to be more than friends.

Carter tested the waters by dipping his face and caressing your nose with his. He liked the way your faces seemed to fit in place, and he was determined to kiss you when the bell rang loudly in your room. 

“I have a saying for this,” you breathed out, wanting to laugh about the situation. “Aller Anfang ist schwer.” 

“And what does that mean?” 

“I’ll let you know later,” you fooled before getting up and going to answer the door.

Your legs were like jelly, and your mind was working at a fast pace, but still, you tried to keep composure.

Eating dinner after that interaction shouldn’t be easy, but it was for you and Carter, so he handled it so well it made you even more sure about how much you liked him. It wasn’t a real talkative dinner, but considering that hours prior, Carter was like a sad puppy, to see him smiling shyly at you was a victory. 

“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asked when you finished. 

“You already did,” you tried to mess with him, and Carter rolled his eyes before getting on the couch again. “Of course you can, Hartsy.” 

And so the rest of the night was just you and Carter randomly talking and listening to your playlist. He didn’t ask his question again, and neither did you, but you knew he was thinking about it when you went to bed. Especially laying there side by side. 

You were used with his naked chest and with his sleep pants, but it felt different that night, and the question keeps replaying in your head. So this time, you were the one to voice it. 

“Are we friends?” you turned to him. 

Carter sat in front of you, grabbing your hands. His fingers were cold against your palm, and you shivered one more time that day. 

“We’ve been ‘friends’ like this for more than a year, and even though I don’t know the turning point I know we are more than that and have been for a long time now,” his voice was firm like he was sure about what he was saying as he thought about it before. Your eyes dropped to your intertwined fingers, and you took a long breath before Carter started talking again. “Friends just sleep in another bed, and friends don’t treat me like you do...everything my friends do to me feels different when it comes to you.” 

It was the blink of an eye before your lips were connected, and you tried containing the growing smile between your lips. Carter’s lips were soft against yours, he felt like a summer day, one you waited a whole year for, and when it finally happened, it felt surreal. It wasn’t weird kissing him. It wasn’t odd sleep laying on top of him that night because it felt natural, it wasn’t anything new for the two of you. You were friends at the start, sure, but at some point, it turned into more, and you both handled it like it was only a friendship. You were happy to finally realize it had been more between each word, each interaction, each cheek kiss, and hug.  

Sleep came easy that night, for you and him. 

And even though his severe loss earlier, Carter felt valid.

You were there, you were his number one fan winning or losing, and he was happy he got to have a stable relationship with you. 

“Do you have a saying for that?” he asked jokingly.

“Unfortunately, no,” you held his face close, lips centimeters away. “But it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to spend time with sayings when I can spend time kissing you,” you confessed.

He chuckles, “Suddenly, life feels like a pony farm.” 

You can find more of my work here

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Neil Josten's Playlist Part 1: Andrew

Masterpost and link to the playlist in its entirety

These songs are going to be the biggest chunk of the playlist. Are we surprised?

Okay here we go:

1. Take Me To Church - Hozier

I was not joking about Neil being a Hozier fan. You cannot tell me this boy doesn’t hear this song on the radio and immediately think of Andrew. Every time it came on he’d make sure the radio stayed on the station so he could listen all the way through. It got overplayed but he’s probably the only person in the world who never got sick of it at the time. He got used to listening to the same songs over and over again with his mom, so he's even comforted by repeating songs now.

5. Stay - Rihanna & Mikky Ekko

So one night, after several nightmares within the span of a few hours, Neil wasn’t too proud to admit that he absolutely wasn’t going to get any decent sleep that night. Andrew took him on a long drive without even having to be asked. The silence was shoving Neil even further into his thoughts, so Andrew turned on the radio. He settled on a station that was playing softer music that Neil probably wouldn’t hate, and he just kept driving. Once this song came on, Neil became enamored with it. It’s another one of those songs that makes him think of Andrew, but it’s more because he listens to the lyrics and realizes Andrew has said half of these things to him. It’s now a song that, even years later when he and Andrew are living in separate states and desperately trying to land contracts with the same team, Neil listens to on bad nights.

6. River - Bishop Briggs

Listen... this is just another really solid Andreil song.......... and I’m absolutely positive this is a song that Neil would like. Let me have this.

For Neil everything with Andrew is simultaneously loud and quiet and intense and gentle and hard and soft. He’s never known someone to make him feel so much yet calm him down from panic to nothing so smoothly. Even their intimacy holds so much complexity and weight to it. This is a song I feel like Andrew introduced him to, because it absolutely makes him think of Neil too (not that he'd say that out loud).

8. Dreams - The Cranberries

Renee likes the Cranberries and she got Andrew into them too. Andrew pretends this song doesn’t make him think about Neil but no one is actually fooled by that when they catch him listening to it. Least of all Neil because he feels the same thing listening to the lyrics. Not much explanation past that. Neil vibes with this song right from the opening lyrics (”Oh, my life is changing every day in every possible way”), to the comparison of a lover to a dream (he still remembers when Andrew called him a pipedream, even if he didn’t understand at the time), to the vocal breaks in the middle and at the end where it just sounds like someone singing their soul right out of their body.

Neil is a private person and not someone to ever scream his love from rooftops. But that doesn’t mean the concept doesn’t hit him deep. He’s been through a lot and he’s come out the other end with a love of his own that’s deeper and more than anything he ever imagined. His lack of expressing passion about most things (Andrew) doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel incredibly passionate about certain things in a way that cuts deep. He found love and it’s incredible

12. Easily - Bruno Major

I've mentioned this previously, but I hc that Andrew and Neil almost broke up in Neil’s last year at Palmetto. Not going to get into it, but this song had a big part in pulling Neil through that whole year, ESPECIALLY the situation with Andrew. Maybe I’ll make a separate, more detailed post about that sometime. But basically I hc that neither of them were in good spots emotionally. And Andrew was very close to giving up on everything - including Neil.

They managed to pull through and stop one another from giving up on it all, even when things got really hard.

15. Sunlight - Hozier

No I’m not done with the Hozier songs. Did I say I was done with the Hozier songs? Not gonna happen.

Anyway so the story of this song is he was talking with Allison and Nicky once about music and their SOs (well he was listening more than talking but he wasn’t ignoring them), and Nicky outright asked him if there was a song that made him think of Andrew. He’d heard this one for the first time recently and it was just the most recent of many songs that make him think of Andrew, so he threw it out there to humor them. They hadn’t heard it but were very doubtful that any song titled “Sunlight” could have anything to do with Andrew at all, so he showed it to them. They didn’t really change their minds and instead Allison went on another tirade about how Neil is gone for Andrew in a way that Andrew couldn’t possibly be for him and how she was worried for him. Nicky stood up for his cousin a bit, but ultimately was still agreeing with Allison to a degree that Neil may be expecting more than what Andrew could give him blah, blah, blah.

Neil wasn’t happy. Instead he found himself latching onto this song even further and becoming even more assured that it was a song for Andrew. Just because the others refused to understand who Andrew really is and the ways he’s learning to grow and heal and the fact that he’s someone worth loving god dammit, doesn’t mean Andrew is the monster they make him out to be.

For a while afterwards, he’ll put this song on if he’s ever given the aux cord. Because he’s petty. If Andrew catches on to what he’s trying to do, he never says anything.

19. Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men

This is definitely a song that makes Neil think of Andrew, though he'd never tell him that. They have both played both parts in this song, and it makes Neil's heart ache to think of all the bad nights that they weren't there for one another - whether it was distance or stubbornness or just general shitty circumstance. They both can get so trapped in their own heads in different (and sometimes similar) ways, and they're relationship has really been built in a lot of ways on the depth of emotional support they've learned to give one another in rough times. That steadiness, that presence that stays by you and keeps you grounded even when you want to crawl out of your own skin and hide somewhere far away. That is what they give one another.

24. Day After Day - Badfinger

This is another one he used to listen to with his mother, but he didn't really latch onto it until his final year at Palmetto when he and Andrew were doing long-distance. He learned in that year just how sentimental he had become in some ways. He finds it in the bone-deep longing he gets on late nights when he just wishes he could lie in bed next to Andrew - because he knew that's when he sleeps best. He'd listen to this song and let himself wallow for a little while, and then eventually put it away and carry on because he didn't have the time to slow down and feel things too hard.

Things are much better now and he doesn't feel as bad when he listens to the song. It's just a pleasant sound he leans into sometimes.

26. Don't Dream It's Over - Crowded House

This is another one that he first heard from his mother, but kept for himself without allowing it to be stained with her memory. It is one of those ones he listened to a great deal during his last year when things with Andrew got hard. He committed himself to not letting him go or breaking off what they had unless Andrew ever directly asked him to. He couldn't find it in himself to ever do that.

This song reminds him of that commitment and helps him stay strong with it, for better or worse. Everyone was convinced from the beginning that either Neil was bad for Andrew (Aaron) or Andrew was bad for Neil (everyone else except Renee and Nicky basically). This reminds him that he knows Andrew better. He knows HIMSELF better. He knows they aren't perfect, but he refuses to let himself fall into their blocked mentality where they choose to be blind to the reality of Andrew's character (or his own for that matter). He knows they are good together. He knows they help one another, they don't hold each other back. And he refuses to give up on them unless Andrew asks him to.

28. How Deep Is Your Love - The Bird and The Bee

This is another final-year-at-Palmetto one. He stumbles across this song while listening to one of Robin's playlists while he was driving her to practice. Listen to the lyrics and hear just how Andreil this song is. It fits so well, and Neil has to pull over and collect himself for a moment when he first hears it. It had been an especially rough week and he'd been struggling trying to balance giving Andrew space and support with communicating his own needs. This gives him the push he needs. He calls him later that night to talk and their time apart starts getting a bit more bearable for it.

29. TALK ME DOWN - Troye Sivan

This was Andrew's song that made him think of Neil. In every way. He found it while they were doing long distance. Neil first heard it on a midnight drive they took while he was visiting Andrew. They didn't say anything, but they didn't need to. Neil eventually asked him why he listens to this one when his taste is usually much louder stuff. He was expecting a stoically-delivered joke denying any potential relation to Neil or a comment about how Nicky got it stuck in his head or something while they were video chatting one weekend. Instead, Andrew just responded "You know why."

Neil stored the song away to listen to later on when they were once again sleeping in separate beds in separate states, knowing Andrew was probably listening to it as well.

38. Talking Bird - Death Cab for Cutie

Neil doesn't know why this song makes him emotional (yes he does). He doesn't know what it is about it that feels like it cuts so deep (it's because Andrew sent it to him). He doesn't get why Andrew showed it to him (it's because Andrew asked him to stay, but would never force him to if he ever did decide to run). He just listens and feels comforted.

44. I'm so Tired - Lauv & Troye Sivan

This is another one Neil found when he and Andrew were doing long distance. It was a bit of a rocky time for them and there were several of those make-or-break moments. You know, the kind any relationship has where you either pull through it together and are stronger for it, or end things where they are and go your separate ways. I imagine - during a particularly rough patch - Neil heard this song from one of his underclassmen roommates. He was thinking about Andrew (when is he not) and part of him wondered if Andrew was better off finding guys in bars to take home and have no connection to. It was a spiteful moment of self-pity that he let himself indulge in before coming to his senses and giving Andrew a call to smooth things over a bit.

He still listens back to the song sometimes. It has a nice, soft, smooth feeling to it. Now when he listens to it, he finds himself focusing more on the singer asking their lover to take them home so they can move forward because they're too tired to fight. He remembers how, when he and Andrew have reached that point, they've continuously chosen to fall back to one another instead of pulling away. It's a very comforting thought for him.

45. NFWMB - Hozier

I don't even know if I have to explain this one.

There are a lot of things that Andrew and Neil see in one another, but I think one major thing is how strong they both are in their own ways. Neither of them are someone you want to fuck with. This song is perfect for that.

And, once again I will say, Neil is a Hozier fan and I'll die on this hill.

50. It Will Come Back - Hozier

Another Hozier song look at that

Anyway this is song encapsulates exactly how Andrew feels about Neil repeatedly choosing Andrew (at least, how he feels about it in the beginning of their relationship). And Neil isn't blind to this at all. What he also isn't blind to (but that he knows Andrew forgets sometimes) is how Neil is also the stray Andrew showed too much kindness. Andrew is as stuck with Neil as Neil is making himself stuck with Andrew.

51. Love Lies - Khalid & Normani

If asked why he likes this song, he'd say it's because Matt showed it to him and it reminds him of Matt and Dan's inspiring relationship. There are very few people he'd admit the truth to.

Something about the song feels too typical and approachable to admit applying to him and Andrew. They don't have a "normal" relationship and there are a lot of norms they don't stick to. Neither of them are ashamed of that in any capacity (as they absolutely shouldn't be), and ultimately it just feels very strange to them both to consider what's between them as being on the same level of what other's have. Not necessarily in a better-worse context, more just an acknowledgment of stark differences.

But I think Neil also experiences a certain level of comfort when he catches himself relating to other "normal" people. So when he finds himself thinking of Andrew when he hears this song, he's not going to ignore that or let it go. He may, however, keep it to himself for a while. It just feels nice to do that.

72. 99 Luftballons - Nena

As a general rule, Neil doesn't like loud music. This one is an exception (though "loud" may be a bit of a stretch here) because he once got to hear Andrew singing along to it in the car late at night.

Andrew does that sometimes, sings along to songs when it's just him and Neil. It's never with a great deal of gusto or volume, more so just a soft mumble on a late night drive to ground them both. This song came on on a particularly rough night, but by the end of it Andrew was singing along louder than he ever did. Still not saying much, but it was a noticeable change to Neil.

Neil knows he was allowed to see something special that night - Andrew allowing himself to let out something he was feeling. Neil got to see Andrew in what amounts to a moment of vulnerability for him. It means the world to him.

74. Gooey - Glass Animals

This song makes Neil feel the way Andrew makes him feel. There's no other way to describe it. When it's just the two of them and they have moments of quiet intimacy, there's a specific feeling Neil starts getting - float-y but secure. Like he'd drift away if it weren't for an invisible string Andrew was holding.

If Andrew caught Neil humming this song one night as he fell asleep, unaware, he kept quiet about it.

75. Turn - The Wombats

This song Neil keeps because it's one Andrew specifically sent him. He didn't give an explanation, just "for your playlist, rabbit".

[asimawv]

I write and conceptualize story to music, so I’ve compiled a playlist of 30 Darkest Dungeon-specific songs that I listen to when writing (and subsequently re-writing) in no particular order, which I hope will help you set the vibe too. :+)

Names in bold are links for easy listening - tons of Hozier and Of Monsters and Men up ahead, five minute warning.

1. ‘Fire and the Flood’ - Vance Joy

If you listen to nothing else on this list, listen to this one - it’s the kind of song that’s made for movies about yearning. Folk influences, choruses of trumpets and vocal harmony, and instruments that are layered for a rich, resonant sound. This is the song I imagine Dismas and Reynauld horse-racing through a crowded outdoors market in the hamlet to, and the song I listened to nonstop freshman year when I first started writing The Myth of Sisyphus.

You're the fire and the flood And I'll always feel you in my blood Everything is fine When your hand is resting next to mine Next to mine You're the fire and the flood

The chorus is built around biblical allusions to the fire (the burning bush signifying first contact) and the flood (destruction of the first world), the beginning and end. Every line is similarly evocative of Darkest Dungeon in their simplicity (“I’ve been getting used to waking up with you,” etc.)

2. ‘Soldier, Poet, King’ - The Oh Hellos

By the title alone you can guess who this is for. Even the Guild quote for the Leper approaches these three things as the defining parts of his character (specifically it’s “a ruined man, a warrior, and a poet.”) This song coincidentally has an old world influence to it, with a Medieval Renaissance style from a guitar playing a lute-adjacent melody.

There will come a ruler Whose brow is laid in thorn Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord Oh lei, oh lai, oh lei, oh Lord Smeared with oil like David's boy, oh lei oh lai oh Lord

To be smeared with oil is to be anointed by a prophet and thus chosen by god himself to be king, just as David was and his boy after him (presumably Solomon). There’s something strangely wistful about the imagery, which is just how I like my songs about bygone kings.

3. ‘Exit Hymn’ - Bear Attack!

This song is about the end of the world in a version where everyone simply stands together in silence watching, rather than having the masses swarming in panic.

Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters. Lovely shapes to the world descending, Brothers and sisters Mute.

It defies Lovecraftian horror, which is based on the premise that “common human laws and interests and emotions have no validity or significance in the vast cosmos-at-large” - it flies in the face of existential nihilism and the despair that it should bring us. That’s why I like this song for deaths in the end-boss fight; it also has a special place for other death-related ideas, like full-party wipes - entire teams of people vanishing into the dungeons, gone insane, holding hands while the darkness surrounds them.

It’s a bare song which has a sanctity to it, mostly just piano and rain and human voices. Just what you would hear at the end of the world.

More under the cut:

4. ‘Pursuit of Glory’ - Jhameel

This song is laid-back. It doesn’t have the Homeric intensity that some of the other songs here do - it’s a guy with a guitar and vocal harmony. By god is it a great piece of writing though (all of Jhameel’s older songs have that quality to them), and all of it is evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

So many eyes set on the path to glory Too many ties, friendship is for the lonely Can't still my heart, my tongue has tasted folly Thirsty for art, hungry for power and money

This is a song for everyone in the barracks, especially the ‘laundry list’ of people and their approaches to the pursuit of glory.

5. ‘Good Old Days’ - Macklemore (feat. Kesha)

This fucker put a Macklemore song in here. I did, yeah. It’s not even the only song with Kesha in it here (I’m sorry.) 

It’s a sentimental pop song, and I am sentimental to a fault. This is Darkest Dungeon AMV material, and I always mishear one of the lines as “we were underground, loaded mercs in that 12-passenger van” so it’s here.

We've come so far, I guess I'm proud And I ain't worried about the wrinkles around my smile I've got some scars, I've been around I've felt some pain, I've seen some things, but I'm here now Those good old days

6. ‘Past Lives‘ - Kesha

Here it is, the other Kesha song - this was introduced to me by a good friend, also in a Darkest Dungeon context. There’s just something about the lovers spanning time trope and finding each other in one life to the next that is irresistible (for the obvious reason in the context of Darkest Dungeon.) It’s a soft song, totally out of place in Kesha’s typical discography, and has a line about losing someone to the crusades, so... you know.

There's just somethin' about you I know Started centuries ago though You see your kiss is like a lost ghost Only I would know But I, I keep on falling for you Time after time Time after time

7. ‘Viva la Vida’ - Coldplay

You cannot fight this. You know that this is the song for King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, you know it is. Did you know the official name of this genre of music is “Baroque pop”? Yes, that means more songs like this exist. You will live with this information now.

Don’t fight it. Just let it wash over you.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing Roman Cavalry choirs are singing Be my mirror, my sword and shield My missionaries in a foreign field For some reason I can't explain Once you go there was never, never an honest word And that was when I ruled the world

Mirror, sword, and shield, the three other members of his party, his missionaries in a foreign field. Thinking emoji. I typed that out so I wouldn’t have a repeat of the crab emoji incident.

8. ‘The Boxer’ - Jerry Douglas (feat. Mumford & Sons, Paul Simon)

Partly inspired by the Bible, Simon & Garfunkle’s ‘The Boxer’ is a folk rock song about poverty, loneliness, and homesickness. It’s written and sung in a style that’s strongly reminiscent of older times, and the final verse about its eponymous boxer is particularly powerful:

In the clearing stands a boxer And a fighter by his trade And he carries the reminders Of ev'ry glove that laid him down Or cut him till he cried out In his anger and his shame "I am leaving, I am leaving" But the fighter still remains

This is what I use for Dismas’ life leading into organized crime and his foolish abandonment of stable job prospects in a half-baked bid for fame, as well as being punched down over and over again but with nowhere else to go. That last part is widely applicable across the cast.

9. ‘I Will Wait’ - Mumford & Sons

I am but a simple man. I see 'folk rock' and add it to my Darkest Dungeon playlist. This song I use for Reynauld - it has that sort of “salt of the earth,” somewhat biblical humility in its choice of words and style. 

Raise my hands Paint my spirit gold And bow my head Keep my heart slow

10. ‘Little Lion Man’ - Mumford & Sons

Have we not beaten this song to death yet? Can you blame us? This is the people’s song. We reserve it for all of our favorite fuck-up characters, as primal as Saturn devouring his son. We love this song. Jesus.

Tremble for yourself, my man, You know that you have seen this all before Tremble little lion man, You'll never settle any of your scores Your grace is wasted in your face, Your boldness stands alone among the wreck Now learn from your mother or else spend your days biting your own neck

The line about learning from your mother in particular is why I think of this song for Dismas’ introspection, but I also associate it with the Hellion.

11. ’From Eden’ - Hozier

There’s too much Hozier in my playlists. There is so much of it, and it’s all important to me, says the hoarder. There’s something about profoundly intimate folk music that I love, and god put folk, R&B, blues, and alt rock into a Vitamix for 45 seconds to make Hozier.

Honey you're familiar like my mirror years ago Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on its sword Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door

‘From Eden’ is, according to Hozier, about idolizing someone from a distance, written from the perspective of the devil “looking longingly at something he desires - for everything that he does not have.” I associate this song with the Grave Robber for its playfully nihilistic tone - Audrey does say something to the effect of being left for dead by high society and the affectionate bordering condescending address is on-brand.

12. ‘Cherry Wine’ - Hozier

‘Cherry Wine’ is unabashedly about domestic violence, and its sincerity is heartbreaking, the sanctification of the blood spilled in the name of keeping her.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

This song is strongly tied to the Vestal for me.

13. ‘Work Song’ - Hozier

A song about unconditional love - heaven and hell were just words, indeed.

When my time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

I think of this song for both Dismas and the Abomination - it’s a song about love transcending spiritual and even physical need, complete devotion, but something about it is also not quite right. It’s morbid and excessive, self-pitying, and almost ugly in its sincerity.

14. ‘Sunlight’ - Hozier

The strong gospel influence with the choruses, church organ, religious fervor - I think it makes a great song for traveling scenes and church/altar scenes.

I had been lost to you, sunlight Flew like a moth to you, sunlight oh sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight Oh, your love is sunlight (sunlight, sunlight) But it is sunlight

15. ‘Arsonist’s Lullabye’ - Hozier

The gospel this time is paired with electric rock instrumentation. Something about the lamentation is unapologetic and matter-of-fact in its disturbing inclinations - this is Paracelsus’ song. Arguably representative of Bounty Hunter and Flagellant as well.

Now that I think about it, it’s great for Abomination as well. Damn.

All you have is your fire And the place you need to reach Don't you ever tame your demons But always keep 'em on a leash

16. ‘We Sink’ - Of Monsters and Men

Of Monsters and Men are closer to the indie rock/pop spectrum with influences of folk, with much less biblical influence and more folklore-inspired lyrics. They make for great trailer and action songs.

We are the sleepers, we bite our tongues We set the fire and we let it burn Through the dreamers, we hear the hum They say come on, come on, let's go So come on, come on, let's go

In Lovecraft’s Cthulu mythos, dreams are how the Old Ones commune with humans on the earth’s surface while they slumber in the ocean depths (Cthulhu fhtagn meaning “Cthulhu is dreaming”); I like to think of the ‘sleepers’ as the heroes being tasked to “set the fire” and the ‘dreamers’ being the Heir and Ancestor driven by some unseen force to unearth the antediluvian underground.

17. ‘I Of The Storm’ - Of Monsters and Men

Very somber song, overwhelmingly piano and snare drum and vocals. Also a great death scene song, or for introspection around the campfire, or played to reveal a major event.

If I could face them If I could make amends With all my shadows I'd bow my head And welcome them

18. ‘King and Lionheart’ - Of Monsters and Men

My favorite OMAM song - it’s clearly written about two children, kind of reminiscent of ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ in its fantastical nature, and very upbeat about the end of the world.

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind Though far away, though far away, though far away We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same

This part is reminiscent of the Leper’s journey, but the mentions of taking over a town, howling ghosts, the end of the world, a black sea and creatures lurking below, etc. are all evocative of Darkest Dungeon.

19. ‘Little Talks’ - Of Monsters and Men

Also very upbeat for its subject matter - according to OMAM, it’s a narrative of a woman speaking with the ghost of her dead husband, or going insane and believing that she’s speaking with her dead husband.

Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right Your mind is playing tricks on you, my dear 'Cause though the truth may vary This ship will carry our bodies safe to shore

The call-and-respond style of the song is haunting. I like this song for expeditions and afflicted heroes.

20. ‘Wolves Without Teeth’ - Of Monsters and Men

Suitable for both Occultist and Abomination, being consumed by an unseen and otherworldly force that inhabits them - well, maybe just rarely seen, in the Abomination’s case. Special mention to OMAM’s ‘Human,’ same conceptual backing but more raw.

You hover like a hummingbird Haunt me in my sleep You're sailing from another world Sinking in my sea, oh You're feeding on my energy I'm letting go of it He wants it

21. ‘Desierto’ (Original Motion Picture Score) - Woodkid

This is a full album, because all of it is dark orchestral cinema music described as ‘unsettling,’ with the sole exception of ‘Land of All,’ which has vocals to it. I reserve this album for writing fight scenes and for particularly unsettling events because it’s tense and wordless. I read Junji Ito to this soundtrack too, it’s insanely high-strung and discordant.

22. ‘Iron’ - Woodkid

‘Iron’ qualifies as Baroque pop - you might recognize this as the Assassin’s Creed: Revelations song. The large-scale, cinematic style of it and thematic lyrics make it great for writing about dramatic encounters or brigands.

This deadly burst of snow is burning my hands I'm frozen to the bones, I am A million miles from home, I'm walking away I can't recall your eyes, your face

23. ‘Never Let You Down’ - Woodkid (feat. LYKKE LI)

Another somber song, orchestral with some industrial noise in the mix - another great introspection song, or one for a scene with some hard decisions to be made.

Will you come along cause I'm about to leave this town In my eyes, a waterfall, all I can hear, a siren call Could you be waiting by the shore, oh I could drown without you Will you be holding out the line when I fall?

24. ‘Run Boy Run’ - Woodkid

Church bells, fast percussion, strong orchestral presence. For chase scenes, obviously, but great for fast-paced sneaking scenes as well. Also has a strong quasi-Medieval fantasy setting style to it.

Tomorrow is another day And you won't have to hide away You'll be a man, boy! But for now it's time to run, it's time to run!

25. ‘I Love You’ - Woodkid

Don’t let the scream effects and aggressive percussion at the beginning deter you (it kind of took me by surprise the first few times too) - it soon fades into more of the church bells and melodic string accompaniment.

Oh yeah, unrequited love song? It’s free (mental) real estate, baby.

Is there anything I could do Just to get some attention from you? In the waves, I've lost every trace of you Where are you?

26. ‘Vagabonds’ - Grizfolk

A rare departure from folk! Grizfolk is alt rock/indie pop. Stylistically it doesn’t match the feeling of Darkest Dungeon, but lyrically it’s almost 1:1 to arrival in the hamlet and the subsequent expeditions. Good song for writing about recruits bonding.

Oh this careless ground, guessing this is home now Oh in no man's land, at least we're still standing And we're all just fighting, some of us will not return And there's no redemption in trying to find your way out

27. ‘Everybody Wants To Rule The World’ - Lorde

Great trailer fuel, if you’ve seen the AC: Unity E3 trailer with this song - I listen to an extended version when writing fights in the Guild, especially one where two heroes are beefing. It’s got a primal kind of thing going on. I also associate this song with the Arbalest - lyrically, it fits her backstory like a glove.

Welcome to your life There's no turning back Even while we sleep We will find you

Acting on your best behavior Turn your back on mother nature

28. ‘Torches’ - X Ambassadors

More alt rock/indie pop - kind of a rallying song for dark expeditions, hopeful but still somber in nature - some gospel elements. X Ambassadors’ more popular ‘Renegades’ is also a fun tavern song.

Come on, carry your flame Carry it higher Leave it in the darkness Carry your torches

29. ‘Passing Afternoon’ - Iron & Wine

This is a song I use for reconciliation or domestic scenes - Dismas with Junia in the garden, for example. It’s soft and kind of meandering, and features vintage piano - you know, the piano you heard in the basement of your church turned community center as a child.

There are times that walk from you like some passing afternoon Summer warmed the open window of her honeymoon And she chose a yard to burn but the ground remembers her Wooden spoons, her children stir her Bougainvillea blooms

30. ‘Some Nights’ - Fun.

You know this song, your mom knows this song, everyone knows this song from like, middle school. Thought it’d be fun to end this list on an uplifting and very popular song. This is the song that a Disney adaptation of Darkest Dungeon would use in the Training Montage™ - from the point of view of Reynauld. It hits all of the points - being their commander rather than their equal, his stern and antisocial zealotry with no true ideology behind it, the ghost of his wife.

Verse 2, starting with “Well, that is it, guys, that is all / Five minutes in and I'm bored again” is where I see it transitioning to Dismas.

Well, some nights, I wish that this all would end 'Cause I could use some friends for a change And some nights, I'm scared you'll forget me again Some nights, I always win (I always win) But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for, oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights, I don't know

_____

Well that’s all from me! Feel free to leave your own recommendations in the replies, and I’d love to know what you think about my personal picks. :+)

[ollifree]

30 OTP Questions - Fanari/Solas

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Fanari’s mistaken to be because she’s more open about seeking it, but they’re on even ground.

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Fanari/Solas

3. Most common argument?

“Solas I love you, but I swear to fuck say one more thing about the Dalish.”

4. Favorite non-sexual physical activity?

Doing their own thing in each other’s presence.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Fanari could pick Solas up, and did so a few times for funsies, but she required both arms for it.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

Fanari’s got freckles and the best profile in Thedas. She has a lot of small scars from her day-to-day life with the clan that Solas likes to hear about. He knows where her one ticklish spot is on her spine and he will exploit it to his own nefarious ends like the trickster folk figure he is.

Concept art Solas best Solas. Fanari likes playing/helping him with his dreads, and she has a preference for her partners to be taller than her.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Fanari goes for it with determination. She wasn’t spoiled, but she and her sister Elnara were both indulged by pretty much everyone older than them for having magic. It gave Fanari a stubborn “will be mine” approach to things she wanted; though had Solas not reciprocated she’d have respected it and let the matter rest.

Solas panics.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

They stick with the classic vhenan. Fanari still sometimes uses haren if she’s being playful, and Solas uses Inquisitor/Keeper in the same vein.

9. Who worries the most?

Solas does, but in the vague “my squishy mortal partner has a fragile existence that could end at any moment by sheer coincidence” way. It isn’t at the forefront of his mind most of the time.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

If they’re ever at a restaurant it’s only for Orlesian cakes and at that point it’s a trial of keeping Fanari away from the strawberry ones.

11. Who tops?

ACE RIGHTS

12. Who initiates kisses?

Both.

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Fanari, but one of her stims is feeling textures so she usually reaches for his sleeve.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Solas.

15. Who wakes up first?

They wake up about the same time, especially once Fanari figures out the whole Dreamer thing.

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Shock of all shocks, it's Fanari. Don’t make her get up there are  responsibilities out there.

17. Who says I love you first?

Solas.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

No notes, but they do find trinkets for one another.

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Fanari mentioned it to her immediate family (her three parents, two siblings, and Deshanna) in letters, and word made its way around the clan. The two never went out of their way to tell people in the Inquisition, but they weren’t hiding it.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

You know those pairings that are like? Clearly meant to be? They gell right and each person is getting something out of the relationship that improves their lives and gives them the incentive to be their better selves? Imagine knowing that couple in real life and then one of them breaks it off out of the blue and doesn’t even give the other person a reason why. And then you have to work on the same team with the both of them.

The group gets very cold towards Solas after he pulls that. When he resurfaces after being presumed dead for a number of years (see final question) and the two get back together, Fanari very specifically does not ask for opinions from their old Inquisition buddies. Fortunately, my own OCs don’t count, so she gets those.

Darrell’s concerned, but while it’s not the choice he would have made he knows he can’t go making choices for her. (Fanari does get a tetchy crystal call from Dorian, who’s mostly angry he heard about the thing from a letter Kendra wrote Darrell.) Kendra knows Fanari’s an adult who can make her own choices, but she’s still there for Fanari if needed in any capacity. (Bull is not at all happy with the arrangement.) Again, see a later question, but Fanari usually refrains from saying Dread Wolf jokes. Kendra, however, has Fanari’s blessing.

Solas retains an aloof affiliation with Clan Lavellan. Many hate him on principle, and the majority of them barely tolerate him so they don’t lose their Keeper. He and Elnara are openly hostile towards each other, and only with other clans will she put up a front of accepting him for Fanari’s sake. Ma’non, their brother, is one of the few who comes to have an appreciation for Solas as a person. Of Fanari’s parents, Lamel is the only one who can have a conversation with him that isn’t ice cold. Deshanna, unfortunately, has passed by this point. Had she still been alive, under no circumstance would Solas have been able to live anywhere near Wycome.

@greyvvardenfell this is a request nay a demand nay a requirement

Jak?

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

They’ll dance at celebrations within the clan when it’s part of the festivities, but despite what Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts would lead you to believe they’re not big on it. If Fanari has to dance her first choice of partner is going to be Elnara.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Solas is the better cook, but Fanari knows more dishes. Fanari’s the type of person who can look at a meal and know it’s ready whereas Solas has to time out the duration.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Fuck it they’re to ace for this.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Fuck it they’re

Fanari has free reign on any Dread Wolf jokes. She usually refrains out of consideration. Usually.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Maybe don’t break things off with your partner and give her deep-seated insecurities about your relationship, Solas. Maybe don’t do that.

26. What would be their theme song?

Take Me To Church - Hozier

Let Me Remind You - Sugarland

The songs are from Solas’ and Fanari’s points of view respectively. Honorable mentions to Skillet’s Comatose and Florence + the Machine’s Howl. Actually...go check Fanari’s playlist. Any song you can apply to a relationship fits at some point in their timeline.

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Fanari’s got her hands full heading the Inquisition, and later her hand full as the clan’s Keeper. Solas has his Fade-walking, and they both enjoy quiet moments of solitude.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

I mean fuck, dude.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

And now it’s time for plot outlines with Olli

-Shit happens in Tevinter -Solas goes into Odin sleep for a lil over a decade, is presumed dead -Wakes up -Fanari more or less threatens leaving the clan to get Lavellan to agree to let the Dead Fucking Wolf live there -Profit

Fanari physically manifested in my home and called me a bitch to my face and that’s why Solas doesn’t actually die.

[80sfern]

delicate

so basically this is really, really hot and i can’t stop thinking about best friend’s dad!duncan. i have a thing for older men. sorry about the hozier reference.

warnings: older!duncan, smut, spanking, oral (fem and male receiving), fingering, choking 

word count: 6.6k

You met Del in college, you filled out roommate surveys and got matched with a 94% compatibility and you hit it off right away. You ended up filling out request forms the next year to be roommates again and then the next year decided to get an apartment together. Now, almost 22 and going into your senior year of college, Del invited you to stay with her at her dad’s house for a few weeks before going to your families own place together for a few weeks. She warned you that her dad’s shower was broken and wouldn’t be fixed until the week after they arrived so you would be having to share the guest bathroom with him for the time being. 

You had met Duncan a few times before, the first time when he helped Del move into the dorm room freshman year. The next was on her birthday, then at the end of the year when he picked her up. After that, you saw him once every few months when he came to visit and insisted on buying the two of you dinner and again when he helped the two of you move into your first apartment. Every time you saw him, it hit you how attractive he was. His hair hadn’t started greying yet and he didn’t have many wrinkles, and an amazing body for someone his age. He didn’t have the typical dad bod, he wasn’t rocking a six pack, but his body was muscular, he was fit. He was a wet dream of a dad.

He carries your bags in when you arrive, shows you to the guest room and around the house while Del uses the bathroom. He insists you call him Duncan when you say Thank you Mr. Shepherd when he carries your luggage to your room. He welcomes you to use the pool and hot tub and raid the fridge anytime you want, shows you the grocery list stuck on the fridge and says anything you want or need, write it there. 

He lets you get settled in while he cooks and you immediately go up to the guest room, your room, to change into something comfier. Del comes in after a few minutes and tells you where the towels are kept and shows you to the laundry room and gives you the walkthrough of how to use the machines. Dinner is amazing, you can tell Del doesn’t get her cooking skills from her dad because she can’t cook frozen pizza without setting off the fire alarms. He makes chicken parm after verifying that you do eat meat and you almost make a dirty joke saying you love meat. He says it’s a family recipe and he jokes that it’s a good thing he has a sister who can cook, and that she passed that skill down to her kids because he would hate for them to get lost because Del can’t cook for shit. She kicks him under the table, but you all laugh because you know it’s true.

A few nights after you’ve been staying, Del runs to the store to get supplies to bake cookies and Duncan borrows your shower while you cook dinner, insisting that it’s the least you can do when they’re letting you stay in their home. 

When Duncan finishes his shower, he opens the shower door a crack and reaches for the towel hanging on the bar, a groan falling from his lips when he doesn’t see one. He shivers when he steps out to get one from the cupboard, doing his best not to trail water all over the bathroom. He doesn’t know what to do when he finds the shelves empty and almost runs out to his own room down the hall but stops himself when he remembers that he isn’t living alone anymore. He can hear you playing music downstairs and can smell the food and he’s trying to decide if he should make a run for it or call for a towel. 

You cut off the music when you hear Duncan’s voice over it, making your way upstairs when you hear him calling your name again. You knock on the guest room door and peep your head in, “You okay, Duncan?” 

Duncan feels embarrassed to ask, he’s forty years old, he should remember to bring a towel to the shower by now. “I uh, can you bring me a towel? I thought there were some in here and there isn’t.” His voice sounds sheepish from the other side of the door and you hide your laugh as you tell him you’ll be back in a moment. You retrieve two from the linen closet between the rooms and knock on the bathroom door, laughing when it cracks open enough for you to pass the towels through. A moment later the door opens and Duncan steps out with the towel around his waist, the other around his shoulders and you blush when he catches you watching him. 

You step back, avoiding his gaze as you tell him dinner is ready and leave the room. Del gets back before Duncan comes down and she sneaks her bowl of chili before you can tell her to wait. You’re both already eating when Duncan comes down, dressed in grey pajama pants and a t-shirt from his college days. He looks so boyfriend-y that it makes your heart skip a beat and you scold yourself for thinking your best friend’s dad looks hot and boyfriendy. You eat around the table while Duncan tells embarrassing stories and you comfort Del by exposing some of yours to be fair. Afterwards, Duncan washes up while you and Del make more of a mess by making homemade chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter after Duncan complains that they’re his favorite. You mostly end making both batches while Del ends up snapping and getting the ingredients out. Duncan tries helping but after you tell him to just sit down and DJ the music, he takes a seat across from you at the bar and connects his phone to the Bluetooth speaker Del brought down. The whole scene is ridiculously domestic as Duncan watches you beat the liquids and Del pours in the powders slowly and Duncan finds himself wanting to wipe away the flour smudge on your cheek. 

When the cookies are done, you scold both of them for trying to eat them fresh off the pan and make them find a movie to watch while you put them on the cooling racks. You fall asleep almost as soon as the movie starts, curling up against the arm of the couch under one of the throw blankets. When it’s over, Del puts up the cookies in baggies while Duncan carries you to the guest room after refusing to let Del wake you up. He thought you looked so peaceful and stress free and didn’t want that ruined. 

A week later, after he goes for a jog he comes back and spends some time working his arms out on the punching bag, he retires for the shower. He walks into the guest room without thinking, his headphones drowning out any sound with the workout playlist he had still going. He opens the bathroom door and doesn’t realize that you’re in it until he sees you through the textured glass door. He only catches he outline of your body before he’s apologizing and closing the door. He takes a cold shower in Del’s bathroom, shivering the entire time as he scrubs his body with her tropical body wash. 

You can’t stop thinking about Duncan walking in on you, you know it wasn’t on purpose from his stammered apology, his words on repeat in your mind as you finish your shower. When you walk out of the guest room, you can hear the shower in Del’s bathroom as you go downstairs but you can hear her watching Brooklyn 99 downstairs, so you know Duncan is in it.

You join her on the couch and don’t see Duncan again until he comes downstairs to say he’s ordered pizza for dinner and gives Del cash to pay for it. Neither of you say anything about the incident. When the pizza arrives, Del fixes him a plate and asks you to carry it up to him while she carries both of your plates to the living room. You knock on his office door and open it enough to stick your head in, “I come bearing pizza.” Duncan looks up from his work and grins, he holds his arm to take it from your hands and mumbles a quiet thank you as you walk out. You don’t see him again for the rest of the night. 

Later that night, Duncan can’t get the image of you in the shower out of his head. Despite the fact it was a blurry outline he could still make out the contour of your body and he can’t stop thinking about it. He drifts in and out of sleep, each time waking up because he has the same dream over and over; him walking in on you in the shower, you invite him to join you, shower sex ensues. He hates himself for it, he shouldn’t be thinking of his daughter’s best friend like this. He refuses to jerk off to the thought of you and it doesn’t help that he can’t take a cold shower without having to go through your room. 

After he wakes up the third time at two in the morning, he’s sick of thinking about you and decides to take out his frustrations on the punching bag. He doesn’t know how long he’s spent on it until his body is exhausted from the exertion. He jumps when he finishes unwrapping his hands and turns around to find you leaning in the doorway. “What are you doing up? It’s what, three in the morning?” He quirks an eyebrow at you and you raise the glass of water.

“It’s four, just got thirsty, couldn’t sleep. Guess we’re in the same boat, huh?” You can’t stop looking at his arms, or his chest, or his hair that’s been pushed back so many times throughout the night. You want to push it back. He looks glorious despite the fact he’s so sweaty, you think that might be why he looks so good. Duncan nods as he walks towards the doorway, surprised he went at it for two hours until he was worn out. He takes the glass from you and downs it before handing it back, a small smirk gracing his lips as you stare at him with wide eyes. 

You’re frozen in that position until you hear him going up the stairs, then the shower starts so you fill the cup back up and go back into your room. The sight of his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he gulped down your water and licking his lips as he handed you back the cup is stuck in your head, making you think of filthier reasons for him to be licking his lips at you. The shower makes it easy for you to fall back asleep, despite the lingering thoughts that Duncan is completely naked only feet away from you.

When Duncan gets out of the shower, you’re asleep on your stomach, blankets pushed off you and shirt ridden up to expose your panties. He tries not to look as he shuts off the bathroom light and mumbles a good night even though he knows you won’t hear him. 

You start waking up earlier when you hear Duncan’s alarm going off and he sneaks into your room for a shower, his shower was supposed to be fixed days earlier but some issue with the piping meant they had to replace it. Which meant breaking down the wall, and then putting new a new wall in which took so much longer than what a draining issue should have. So, every day Duncan comes in at six to take a shower, he does his best to be quiet but you’re a light sleeper, so the shower wakes you no matter what. Eventually your body gets used to it and you wake up before he even comes in some days, and then you end up starting coffee for him and making tea for yourself. He apologizes the first time in the kitchen when he comes down in slacks and his dress shirt on but completely unbuttoned and you nod and pour him a cup of coffee. Within a few days you know how he likes his coffee and you have it made before he even comes down. As soon as he’s gone, you’re crawling back into bed and falling asleep.

Duncan notices, the first few times you wake up when he showers you just play on your phone until he’s done. After the third day he finds you in the kitchen making tea, the day after his coffee is brewing and you’re drinking tea, then his coffee is brewed and when he walks into the room you’re getting a cup from the cabinet and pouring half and half. Your shirt rides up when you get his mug down, he doesn’t mean to look but he walks into the room and you’re just there for him to look at. 

Over the weekend Duncan wakes up late and goes outside to find you and Del lounging by the poolside and decides to join. He grills burgers at lunch time and throws Del into the pool, sneaking up behind you to do the same when you’re laughing at Del being thrown in the pool. Del goes in to shower after another hour of being in the pool after complaining about the smell of chlorine but you stay outside with Duncan to try and tan a little more. Duncan can’t help but stare when you and Del are swimming around the pool and shooting each other with the water guns Del’s younger cousins left behind weeks prior. It doesn’t help that you keep pulling the top down and complaining that the bottoms are going up your ass. 

When you’re laying down to tan, you slide your arms out of the straps of your top, so you don’t get tan lines on your shoulders. When Del comes back out, you roll over onto your stomach, “Del would you mind rubbing the tanning oil onto my back?” 

Del groans and shakes her head, “I just got out of the shower and I don’t want oily hands. Ask Dad.” She turns to go back inside with the excuse of getting more beers. 

You turn so you’re facing Duncan, “Would you mind, Duncan?” 

He hums, lifting his gaze from his book to look at you. “Would I mind what?” 

“Just rubbing tanning oil into my back, Del refuses because she doesn’t want ‘oily hands’ even though she could easily wash them.” You do quotation marks with your fingers when you say oily hands and Duncan seems to think about it for a second before he’s setting his book down and getting up from his chair. He sits on the edge of the lounge and asks for the oil, and moments later his hands are pressing into your shoulders. You let out a gasp at the cold sensation, goosebumps rising on your skin as his hands massage the tropical scented oil into your skin. You hold back a moan when his fingers press into a knot and let your eyes flutter shut. He moves over the strap in the back until you reach back and pull the strings undone, mumbling something about not wanting a back with stripes all over it. So of course, he gets more oil and rubs it into the rest of your back and shoulders, his hands rubbing over your arms too to make sure you’re covered before he wipes his hands on his swim trunks and stands up. You lift your head to say thank you and he gives you this soft smile and nods before going back to his book. 

You don’t mean to fall asleep, but the sun is like a warm blanket and you can’t help it. Duncan wakes you up when he’s going inside twenty minutes later because he’s worried if he doesn’t, you’ll get burnt. Before he wakes you, he can’t help but watch you for a moment, giving into his urges and finally letting his eyes admire your body in a way he hadn’t let himself when Del was out. After he wakes you, you watch him walk away, admiring his back muscles and thighs while you have a chance to because you don’t know when you’ll see him shirtless again. 

The first night you’re completely alone is when Del leaves to visit her girlfriend for the weekend and Duncan goes out with friends for someone’s birthday or anniversary. You don’t know what to do know that you’re all alone, so you spend some time taking a long bubble bath and shaving and pampering yourself. You start reading a book before you get bored and decide you don’t like living alone because there isn’t anyone to entertain you. After giving up on reading and not finding anything interesting to watch you give up on finding something to do and decide to do nothing and take a nap. As you fall asleep, you can’t stop thinking about Duncan in ways you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about your best friend’s dad.

Duncan’s fingers dragged across your stomach, his mouth finding yours when you open to protest, to tell him how wrong this is. You give in immediately, wondering how something so wrong can feel so right. His hands find your hips and he push himself between your thighs. You can feel his bulge against your panties through the sweats and it makes you whimper when he rocks his hips between yours, his cock lining up with your center so perfectly. His teeth nip at your throat, “Imagine being loved by me,” he nearly moans into your skin, the gruff of his voice causing a gush of wetness in your panties and a whimper in your throat, your hips rising off the bed to grind into his own 

 He takes his time kissing down your body until he reaches your panties, then he teases you through them for a moment before pushing aside the lace to wrap his lips around your clit, your body jolting at the sensational feeling. Your fingers tangle in his hair and you moan his name, over and over as he builds your orgasm up with his mouth, his fingers joining the mix after a few moments. You can feel the knot growing tighter and tighter, your fingers tangling in Duncan’s hair as you beg him not to stop. He laughs against your center and nibbles on your clit just enough to send you over the edge.

You wake up and find yourself panting in bed, clit throbbing in your panties from the dream. Before you can overthink it, you’re pushing your right hand into your panties and rubbing your fingers over the bundle of nerves. A shaky breath leaves your lips as the other hand begins teasing your nipples, you haven’t done this since you got here a few weeks ago and hadn’t had sex in longer. Your body was craving a release more than you realized until this moment. You pull your hand away from your cunt to push your panties down before rolling over onto your stomach and pushing yourself onto your knees. You prop yourself up so you can ride your fingers, slowly rocking your hips against your hand and pretend it’s something much bigger filling you up. You wish you had though the pack your small vibrator but when you were preparing you didn’t think you’d be so needy. It only takes a few minutes for you to come undone to the thought of Duncan’s fingers, tongue, and cock and you can’t help but thank god no one is home to hear you moaning his name his name when you came around your fingers.

You dab off the thin sheet of sweat coating your body and wash your hands before redressing in a cami and fresh panties before going downstairs for a glass of water. Your eyes widen when you step into the kitchen and see Duncan leaning against the counter, his shirt half unbuttoned and his hands in his pocket. You suddenly regret not putting on shorts when you came downstairs, assuming everyone else was gone. You try not to blush at the sight of him and hope he didn’t hear you moaning his name as you came. You smile softly as you get a glass down and fill it with ice and water before walking past him once more,

His hand grabbed your wrist before you could walk past him, pulling you into him and swiftly switching your positions so he had you pressed to the counter, his chest against your back. You let out a gasp and shakily set down the glass as his free hand guides it to the countertop. You can hear the rasp in his voice when he teases, “You want it that bad, huh?” A shaky breath leaves your lips and you can’t think of a response as his head dips and his lips brush your bare shoulder, his cock pressing into your ass. “You want my cock so bad you’re gonna make yourself come around your fingers to the thought of me?” You feel your whole body heat up at his words, toes curling against the tiles as you try not to moan at the feeling of him pressed against you.

Your breath hitches when his left hand trails up your arm before pulling your hair back, his lips ghosting up your neck before he bites down on your earlobe, and you can’t hold back the whimper of his name that leaves your lips. He chuckles lowly, “Don’t stop now honey, tell me what got you off. What did you think about?” You head tips back against his shoulder, debating if you should tell him about your dream or what you thought about while you touched yourself. When you don’t say anything, he tugs your hair, “Cat got your tongue? You didn’t have a problem teasing me these past few weeks or getting off to me, what’s wrong now?” And his lips finally press into your neck, his teeth nipping at the skin and his tongue soothing the bite and you hope there’s a mark left when he’s done. 

The action snaps you out of your daze and you find Duncan’s hand pressed into the counter and rest yours over it, squeezing it softly as your head tilts to the side to expose more skin. “I had a dream about you, your mouth… Woke up ‘cause I was moaning your name.” You explain, eyes fluttering shut as his lips move to a new spot of skin and he hums, waiting for you to continue. “No matter how many times I tried thinking about other guys I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” this time, he chuckles, and you can feel the vibrations rumble in his chest against your back. You let out a soft moan when he sucks on your skin, “I couldn’t stop wondering if you were as good in real life as you were in my dreams.” Your grip on his hand tightens and you pull is away from the edge of the counter and guide it towards your panties. 

He sighs against your skin as you part your legs for his hand, he can feel your wetness on the tops of your thighs and soaked through your panties as he rubs his fingers over you, drawing a whine from your lips. Duncan’s lips move back to your ear and he kisses the shell of it, his voice low when he finally speaks again. “You’re dripping for me, huh slut?” A shudder runs through your body at his words and you whimper, nodding because you can’t find the words to say. “You gonna be good for me?” He asks, and you nod again, following his lead as he grabs your hip and twists you around, so your back is against the counter. You take the moment to drink in his appearance, admiring the way his shirt fits tight over his shoulders and how the top few undone buttons reveal his chest. The way his cock is outlined in his slacks, pressing against the fabric and your mouth waters at the thought of having him in your mouth.

His hand on your shoulder guides you down on your knees as he steps back to give you room to sit comfortably between him and the counter. Without being asked, your hands start undoing his belt and soon enough you’re greeted with tufts of black hair peeking from his pants as you unzip him. You glance up at him and quirk an eyebrow at him, slightly amused by the fact he isn’t wearing any underwear. A moment later, you have his slacks around his thighs and his cock is standing proud in front of you. The hand in your hair stops you from moving forward when you try to get him in your mouth. He tugs softly to tilt your head back, so your eyes meet his once again, “You want this, yeah? Let me hear you say it.” His voice is softer than before, but he doesn’t relax his hold on you until you tell him that you want to suck him off. His grip loosens but not enough for you to move, “I’m gonna fuck your mouth, I’ll go slow and if you want me to stop or you can’t, just tap my thigh, okay?” You give him a nod and when he continues staring at him you tell him he can fuck your mouth and he finally nods and wraps his free hand around his base and guides his cock to your lips, tapping for you to open up for him.

He lets you get comfortable and take the lead before he begins rocking his hips and holding your head still by your hair. He holds you still when his cock pushes against the back of your throat, waiting for you to relax before he pulls back and does it again, watching the tears well up in your eyes. You’re holding your hands behind your back, being so good for him and taking him so well. He pulls out after a minute and lets your head drop forward against his hip while you catch your breath. His hand pets the back of your head until you pull your head to look back up at him, your mouth opening for him and he’s pushing back in without a second thought. This time, he picks his pace up and fucks your mouth until you have spit and precum around your lips. You focus on his moans and gasps, the praises leaving his lips when he pushes into your throat and he feels you tighten around him, fighting the urge to gag around him.

Your eyes stay focused on him as he tilts his head back and moans before he looks back down at you, one of his hands moving to cup your cheek and wipe the tears away. Duncan pulls back so just the head is in your mouth and he lets you suck on him for a minute and calm down before he slowly starts pushing back into your throat, this time pushing until your nose is pressed to his navel. He can feel you forcing yourself to relax and breathe through your nose and begins fucking your throat, slowly thrusting into your mouth. 

Duncan can feel himself growing close, the knot in his stomach tightening and he isn’t ready for this to be over. He pulls out and watches as you immediately slump back onto the counter, your head falling back as you catch your breath, feeling dizzy from your lack of breathing. When you finally look up at him, he can’t help but smirk at the sight of how fucked you look. He can’t help but think you look pretty with your spit and his cum coating your lips. He holds out his hand and without missing a beat you grab it and let him pull you up, your knees red and shaking as you steady yourself on his chest. 

You can’t help but blush when his hand leaves yours to grab a hand towel and wipe away the mess on your lips. When he’s satisfied, he drops the cloth back on the counter and cups your cheeks with both hands before finally pressing his lips to yours. You instantly moan into the kiss, your hands sliding up his body to tangle in his hair and press yourself closer. A gasp escapes your lips when you break the kiss and trail your lips down his neck, sucking at his jaw. Duncan’s hand slides down your waist and down your thigh, squeezing it and pulling it over his hip. He slots his hips against yours and grinds his cock into your core, a shiver running through your body at the feeling of him against you.

Before you can do anything else, he’s dropping your leg to the ground and sinking to his knees, tugging your panties down your thighs before lifting your right leg over his shoulder and kissing your thigh. His right-hand stays on your thigh, holding you in place as his left hand slowly trails up the inside of your thigh. You softly tug his hair as he drags a finger through your folds, groaning against your thigh. You have to lean back on the counter to stay upright when his lips wrap around your clit, two fingers easily pushing into you at the same time.

It seems like he knows all the right buttons to push, your body overwhelmed with pleasure instantly as his tongue grinds against your clit and his fingers curl in you as he thrusts. You can’t stop yourself from pulling on his curls and you’re pleased even more when he moans against your clit, the vibrations making you pull harder.

He removes his tongue from your clit and flicks it over your center, between his fingers before talking, “Gonna cum for me baby? Let go, let me taste you.” He immediately sucks your clit between his teeth, sucking harshly as his nose rubs your entrance. He slips his fingers further into you and brings his free hand down on your left cheek, moans falling from your lips as the combination sends you spiraling over the edge into your orgasm. Duncan held you down to his mouth, rolling your clit between his teeth and lapping his tongue over the bud. Without his grip on your thigh you’re sure you would have fallen over from the strength of your orgasm as your legs shake and his fingers and tongue work you through your orgasm. 

Duncan doesn’t stop until you’re whimpering and pushing his head away from your aching cunt, head fallen back between your shoulders and chest heaving. He takes the moment to admire the sight while he can before he guides your leg back to the floor before placing his hands on your waist and standing up again. He brings his wet fingers to your lips and without being asked you part your lips, his fingers pushing into your mouth as he smirks down at you. You suck them clean until he pulls them out of you, his lips quickly replacing his fingers as he slides both of his hands to your thighs and easily lifts you onto the countertop. He breaks the kiss for a moment to pull your tank top off over your head, fingers teasing your nipples as he begins kissing you again.

He keeps kissing you until you’re out of breath and break the kiss, his lips finding your neck as you push the shirt off his shoulders after fully unbuttoning it. His pants follow soon after but not before he retrieves the condom from his back pocket, a soft laugh escaping your lips before you can stop it. “You been holding onto that for long?” You murmur, fingers rubbing over his bare shoulders as he tears the silver package open with his teeth.

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Actually, I came home early and heard you moaning my name, hoped you’d come down and let me fuck you. Guess it worked, huh?” You blush at his words and nod, unable to come up with a real response. You rest your forehead on his shoulder and watch as he rolls the rubber onto his cock before stepping closer to you, his free hand cupping your cheek and guiding you to look at him, “You sure about this, honey?” His voice is soft and concerned, a complete flip from what it was only moments before.

“Yes, I’m sure. Will you please fuck me Duncan?” You bat your eyelashes at him, and he nods, pulling his lower lip between his teeth as he presses himself to you. He runs his cock along your slit a few times, rubbing your clit with the head of his cock before finally pushing in without warning. A gasp leaves your lips and your legs instinctively wrap around his waist as he slowly pushes in, a whine drawing from your throat as he bottoms out. The moan he lets out is music to your ears and you can’t help but want to record it and save it for you to use later. Your lips press to his while you adjust to him, softly kissing him until you’re ready for him to move.

Duncan slowly pulls his hips back, waiting for you to object before he pushes back in, both of you moaning at the sensation. Your right hand wraps itself in his curls while the left grasps his bicep as your legs tighten around his waist, pulling him as close as possible. Your nails bite into the skin as one of his hands presses into your lower abdomen, his fingers rubbing against your clit. Moans are falling from your lips as he fucks into you, his free hand resting on your ass and massaging the skin before spanking it twice. Your head falls back as a string of curses leaves your lips, your back arching and his lips find yours briefly before trailing down your neck and chest. Duncan wraps his lips around one of your neglected nipples, his teeth tugging on the bud and his tongue massaging over it. Your fingers tighten in his hair and your nails dig into his shoulder as you feel yourself clenching down on him, a signal of your rapidly approaching orgasm. “Duncan, I’m so close, fuck I’m so close.” You whine, pushing your hips into his. 

He moans at the feeling of your nails scratching down his back, his hand on your ass moving up to wrap around your throat. “Fuckin’ hell, baby, feel so good wrapped around my cock. You look so pretty, all wrecked for me.” He sounds so different than normal, his voice low and raspy like he just woke up but mixed with lust and need. His words only turn you on more, your hand in his hair pulling on the curls as the knot in your stomach tightens. “Harder, baby. Pull my hair princess, can feel how close you are. Gonna scratch me up when you cum on my cock?” You can’t find the words to respond, settling for moaning and pulling his hair harder, scratching your nails down his back. 

His hips work harder as he tries to get you to your orgasm, his hands roaming your body, his lips finding yours for the third time that night. You moan into his mouth and let yourself be kissed; your body too overcome with pleasure for you to put effort into kissing him back. You barely mumble how close you are, and he nods, pulling away from the kiss and rubbing his fingers into your clit harder. You chase his body and wrap your arms around his neck, tangling both your fingers in his hair and pulling. The new angle has the head of his cock pressed right against your sweet spot, and he stops thrusting and rolls his hips into yours, grinding the tip of his dick into your spot. Duncan lowers his head to kiss your neck, his mouth hovering against your ear for a moment while he whispers, “Come on my cock, baby, know you want to. I can feel you clenching around me, cum for me honey.” He nibbles at your lobe and you come undone, your fingers and toes curling as your orgasm washes over you. He works you through your orgasm until you let out a final whimper and relax in his arms, your fingers petting the back of his head as you bask in the pleasure of your orgasm. 

You feel his cock twitch in you and a moment later he’s pulling out, pulling the condom off and jerking his cock off as a shudder runs through his body, his cum shooting out onto your stomach and thighs. Duncan’s teeth bite into your shoulder as his orgasm hits him and you know there’s going to be a mark left when he’s done. You hope there’s a lot of marks left, that his fingers left bruises on your hips and neck and his lips left hickeys all over your body. His body feels heavy as he leans against the counter, one hand holding himself up on your hip and the other wrapped around his cock. Your fingers run through his hair as he softly kisses all the marks he left on your neck before he presses his lips to yours, this kiss slower and softer than the previous ones.

When he breaks the kisses and finally looks at you, he almost feels bad for the bruises he left on your body. He feels worse for not feeling bad, feels bad because he likes the sight of his red hand print on your neck and the teeth indentations in your skin. He softly runs his fingers over the red hand print, “Fuck I’m sorry, I didn’t realize. Haven’t done this in a while, I didn’t mean to be so rough.” He softly kisses your lips once more before grabbing the hand towel and wiping the rest of your body clean. 

You stop him before he can do anything else, “it’s okay, I wanted it… If I didn’t want it, I would have told you.” You press your hands in his chest and push him back before grabbing your top off the counter and explaining, “I’m gonna shower um, I’ll see you later?” 

The guilt hits Duncan as soon as you’re gone, and he’s left with a mess to clean up to clean up before his daughter gets home. The daughter whose best friend he just had sex with in his kitchen. The best friend who he’s nearly twenty years older than. He pours himself a drink as he hears the shower come on, pulls up his pants and wipes down the counter before grabbing his shirt off the floor. He grabs your panties from the floor without thinking, shoving them in the pocket of his slacks on the way up the stairs for his own shower.