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misterewrites · 3 years ago

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Intro to.....????

Hello everyone! Been awhile. It's been busy and really hot for me so it's hard for me to sit down to write sometimes.

But it's here!

E here with the next chapter and the final intro character chapter! The intro chapters were supposed to introduce everyone to the main and important characters of the story, who will be driving the main plots and stories though sometimes i might use new characters or different background characters. So beyond this chapter will be more worldbuilding, story arcs and oneshots. just stories about this world and its characters. I might even use some of my friends ocs i accidentally convinced them to make for my world. It was so much fun!

Alright that's it for me! Stay safe, wash your hands, wear your masks, take care of your loved ones, get vaccinated if you can, push to release the vaccine worldwide and have a great week! Enjoy! feel free to leave likes, feedback *I love feedback and comments even if it's just a line you liked or a scene you found awesome or funny* reblogs and tell your friends! Promoting myself still feels weird haha. E is out! Byeeeeee

If you want an easier time to read the story and since I’ve been shadow banned from tumblr for like ever now, here’s the newest chapter on ao3 right over here!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/82583164

If you are interested in my work and want to read from the beginning check it right here https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599756/chapters/75486005

Interested in my full catalog? https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrE42/works

Summary: Jackdaw is a powerful crime lord in the magical side of Newton Haven. He is feared more than respected and he doesn't care who he has to crush to accomplish his goals. So when his lucrative club is burned to the ground with his guards piled neatly outside, battered broken but alive, he takes it personally. Of course who is crazy enough to burn down a club of a notoriously dangerous crimeboss? A mercenary paid to do so.

Obviously.

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Tap, tap, tap, tap.

The sound of footsteps pacing back and forth thundered throughout the silent room.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

No one said anything. No one could say anything given the disastrous failure of the night. It hadn’t mattered if they were physically present at the site of offense or that they were scattered across town in one of many locations vital to the boss’s business: Someone hit them and the boss was itching to hit back.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

“Alright” A voice spoke up, smooth yet cold.

The room was already quiet but now the air filled with a frighten tension.

The boss whirled around from the massive window he’d been staring out of, eyes narrowing on the defeated group of guards who averted their gaze from his.

The few still conscious were in varying states of dishevel and injured: Broke bones, nasty bruises, clothing ruffled and torn in places. Not a single one had gone unscratched from the assault on the club earlier that night.

Jackdaw was not pleased.

No one in the room knew much about their boss despite devoting their lives to his cause: He was in his mid 30’s, his nose uneven after being broken in a fight though no one could agree what he had been fighting. Long wavy raven black hair ran down his shoulders while his dark brown eyes glanced about, icy and piercing.

“I’m a little confused.” Jackdaw said with a menacing drawl as he approached the closest guard “Mind answering a few for me?”

The guard nodded shakily.

Jackdaw smiled, patting the guard’s cheek in a mocking manner “Good, good. Now let me paint the picture: My club is currently a smoky, charred corpse of its former self. Yes?”

The guard gave another timid nod.

Jackdaw puckered his lips thoughtfully “Okay, okay. How many guards on duty?”

“8.” The guard murmured fearfully.

“Okay. How many standing?”

The guard shot a nervous glance to the other three. They found the floor more interesting.

“F-four.”

Crack!

The guard’s limp body tumbled backwards and laid still on the ground.

Jackdaw flexed his fingers “Wrong! I count three. You!”

The next in line flinched but stared their boss in the face “Sir?”

“Since that one.” Jackdaw lazily motioned to the unconscious man “is sleeping on the job, you tell me what happened.”

“O-okay.” The next in line mumbled “Well the night started same as any other….”

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The Gray Waves nightclub brought in a decent crowd for a weekday: Dozen or so people lost in the dim shadows with only a disorienting array of ever changing lights for company. Drinks served and the booming, thundering sounds of music set the chaotic mood clubs thrived on.

Nice peaceful night.

Floyd, the current storyteller, had been watching from the second floor landing when he noticed the gathering of guards below. The eight guards on duty were often out and about performing their different duties ranging from gate keeping the door to making sure nothing disturbed the vibe of the club. The fact five of his coworkers were huddled together should’ve been the first red flag.

The group talked in hushed tones despite the deafening bass and techno music the DJ’s speakers blared out. Once or twice, someone glanced to the far end of the club. Floyd looked and found the source of meeting.

Someone in their forties was loudly drinking at the counter tucked in the shadowy part of the club: It was impossible to tell who they were from this distance but they clearly were enjoying themselves: Head tiled back with messy, wavy salt and pepper hair. They gestured to the bartender (A wonderful woman named Carolyn who unfortunately had school debt to pay off and mob work was the best paying.) excitedly as their drink spilled onto the floor. They wore a large, tattered dark green trench coat that had seen better decades with faded worn out blue jeans. Their black boots were caked with grime and dirt that dirtied the floor. The only thing remotely new was their black t-shirt with some words in white font.

Floyd understood what the problem was: Clubs thrived on their popularity and image. People wanted to feel like they were special, all access stars to the hottest place in the city. With such a reputation came a mighty need to uphold said rep. No offense to whoever was having fun over there but with that look, it might send the wrong message and no amount of cash would ever change that.

Evidently a plan was reached as the meeting broke up. Two guards remained behind, returning to watching the room as the pit boss made his way over to the hapless customer, flanked with back up.

It was oddly satisfying watching the pit boss work: He gracefully slid in and out of crowds, slipping through the lost dancers like a snake treading through water. He motioned to the others to wait then made his way to the person.

The person was singing something at the top of his lungs. Drink, clink or something like that. Maybe it was the song playing at the time but Floyd hadn’t been paying attention to that at the time.

Trench Coat slipped Carolyn something and she laid a bottle of alcohol on the counter beside them: Vermouth? Absente? Vodka? One of those probably.

She nodded gratefully and disappeared into the back.

Floyd frowned at the red flag number two he had just seen: Carolyn was a pretty woman and was told more or less to just do as the customer asked be it answering questions or a reasonable request that wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Of course this was with the strict rule of not to leave the counter unattended.

At the time Floyd thought it was weird, not yet realizing what was about to unfold.

The person poured the bottle directly into their mouth, shaking their body to the catchy beat poorly. Whoever they were could not dance to save their life.

The pit boss, Malcolm, closed the distance between himself and his prey. He snuck closer and closer, the unaware customer too lost in their antics to noticed. Malcolm reached out for their shoulder and…

The thud was loud enough to cut through the noisy club and got the attention of everyone present.

Before Malcolm could even tighten his grip, the person struck: They whirled around, grabbing Malcolm’s head and smashing it into the counter. As Malcolm sunk to the floor, limp and unmoving, the person turned to shoot a smug grin towards the guards.

“I’m on the floor, floor! I love to dance!” They sang, one hand outstretched to the sky, the other gripping the bottle upside and draining its contents onto the counter.

The back up drew their weapons, standard issue nightsticks, and made their way forward.

“So give me more, more, till I can’t stand.”

They emptied the bottle, their green eyes never leaving the approaching guards.

“Get on the floor, floor, like it’s your last chance.”

They chucked the empty bottle into the wall of drinks, broken glass and different alcoholic drinks spilling onto the floor and mixing together.

“If you want more, more, then here I am!”

They pulled a match from within their coat pocket and lit it with the backside of their boot. Without looking, they threw the match over their shoulder and smiled as a raging flame broke out behind them.

The club goers were slow to realize what was going on but the remaining guards, Floyd included, mobilized to action.

Before anyone could react, however, an unexpected shrill shrieked throughout the building: The fire alarm designed to be the most annoying and loudest thing you’ve ever heard.

Even though it had been a slow night and only a dozen or so people were here, the customers panicked with a surge of three times that number.

Screams and yells filled the air as bodies shuffled about in a mad dash. The guards were thrown about, tossed this way and that while the lights, alarm and music worked together to confuse everyone.

Luckily the club was deserted within moments, leaving only security and the troublemaker.

The person hadn’t moved an inch despite the increasingly raging blaze behind them.

The back up pair approached carefully, unsure what this person was capable of.

All of them really had no idea.

The person raised their hand to the sky, belting with full force “LET’S DO THIS ONE MORE TIME!”

Without warning, silence and darkness filled the club: The fire alarm and music died suddenly. The lights followed a moment later but the raging flames, growing hungrily, remained. Floyd’s eyes watered with a sharp pain, the stuffy air and sudden shift in lighting too much for him

Floyd paused his story, uneasy growing at the sight of Jackdaw’s tightened jaw. The poor lad could actually see the veins pulsing with barely contained rage on his boss’s forehead.

“And why did the power go out?” Jackdaw asked through clenched teeth “No one was watching the power? Or the fusebox? Not a single person was guarding what I pay them to guard?”

Floyd remained silent, unsure how to answer that. He was just one of the lower rank and file guards: He got told what to do and he did it.

“Well? I’m waiting Floyd my boy! Why did the power go out?”

Floyd felt the beads of sweat run down his neck.

“Umm sir?”

Floyd nearly collapsed as one of Jackdaw’s techies nervously stepped forward, a loaded video on a tablet in hand.

Jackdaw blew a loose strain of hair out of his face and took a moment to slick back his hair. The vain gesture was enough to allow him to regain some level of composure as he snatched the tablet from the techie. With a grunt, he pressed play.

The video was short: It was a camera feed set up to watch over the fusebox to prevent tampering. Two guards were gesturing to the box, idly chatting with somebody in a red jumpsuit with a clipboard in one hand and a toolbox in the other. The back of uniform had the words “Newton Haven City Maintenance” scrawled across it in some rather hard to read font. The guards laughed out loud, jokingly patting the stranger’s shoulder before leaving frame. The city worker opened the fusebox and began tinkering without anyone stopping him.

The tablet crunched nosily as Jackdaw’s grip sent a ripple of cracks across the screen.

He turned to the techie.

“It was a routine check up.” the techie sputtered out “Our guards called it in this afternoon. Said there was an official letter with stamps and signatures and everything!”

“Did you check with me?” Jackdaw snarled “Because I pay the city specifically so they don’t send anyone to the club. Because of my illegal business practices that I perform there.”

Floyd could see the techie’s shoulder slump, whispering quietly “You were in a meeting….”

Jackdaw growled furiously but returned his attention to the nearly broken tablet.

It hadn’t taken more than a few minutes for the mysterious city maintenance worker to finish. They slammed the fusebox closed, doing a little jig before checking the contents of their toolbox and went on their merry little way.

Jackdaw’s blood froze as the figure gave a cheeky wink to the camera, knowing exactly where it was despite the magical wards in place to keep it invisible.

“Savant.”

An eerie emptiness replaced the hostility in the room.

The fight disappeared out of Jackdaw, leaving only an intense sense of dread and paranoia.

All this was lost on Floyd, who saw the troublemaker’s face and couldn’t help but blurt out “That’s them! The one who beat up Malcolm and burned the club down!”

Jackdaw chuckled darkly “Oh. Oh this makes sense. No one wonder you all get your ass kicked six ways to Sunday. Someone sic’d Savant on me. Ya’ll never had a chance against them.”

Floyd shuddered, the memory of how brutal and efficient Savant had been against them: Grown men dragged kicking and screaming into the shadows, the crunchy noises of bones broken, bodies falling down and yells stopped mid-shout. He still remembered Savant standing over him, nightstick in hand, whistling cheerfully as they brought down the weapon and sent him into unconsciousness.

“Alright!” Jackdaw clapped his hands “Lock it down!”

Everyone glanced towards one another, unsure what exactly the boss meant.

“LOCK IT DOWN!” the snarl that escaped Jackdaw’s lips sent goosebumps down everybody’s spine “NOW! I WANT THIS PLACE SEALED UP NICE AND TIGHT!”

“But we’re 14 stories up...”

Techie flinched as Jackdaw whirled around, eyes blazing with unrestrained rage and impatience “You deaf? I said lock down the building or so help me I’m going to use you as a human shield when they start coming for me.”

Techie opened his mouth when an unexpected sound filled the silence: A muffled, cheeky yet tacky melody of a cellphone ringing.

Glances and gazes looked about trying to find the source of the disturbance. Floyd was baffled when he realized it was coming from inside his coat pocket. Nervously, he reached within and slowly pulled out a palm sized flip phone, the kind hadn’t been used in decades.

Jackdaw’s eyes widened with fear and alarm as he snatched the phone from the poor guard with inhuman speed.

“It’s them!” Jackdaw’s voice was manic “IT’S THEM!”

The mobster was torn about what to do next: Answering meant playing right into Savant’s hands and whatever the mercenary had plan. On the other hand, not answering would no doubt annoy them into far worse retaliation.

With a hard shallow, Jackdaw answered with an uncharacteristically shy “Hello?”

He could feel his heart screech to a stop when a bored, almost nonchalant voice replied “S’up.”

Jackdaw threw as much charm and cheer into his voice “Savant, buddy! Pal!”

“Don’t.” the voice sighed tiredly “It’s pathetic when the begging start. You’re a big, bad mob boss. Act like it you dumbass.”

“Fine” Jackdaw let go of any sense of civility “Good old threats: if you so much as show your face around…”

“Ugh too much in the wrong direction” Savant replied, seemingly uninterested in what the mob boss had to said “You people are all the same: False bravado and overcompensating. It’s embarrassing. Just say you’re scared of me and we can move on.”

Despite the severity of the situation, Jackdaw couldn’t help but feel irritated “Oh is that what you want? Get your jollys when powerful people admit they’re afraid of you? You think you can….you can…”

Jackdaw paused, unsure if his ears were working correctly.

“Are you eating?”

“Hmm??” the sound of smacking lips and chewing was the mercenary’s response for a few moments “Oh yeah. Get hungry when working. Normally I’d be all for the theatrics but it’s been a long night what with fucking with your fusebox, burning down your club, planting the phone on a guard. It’s like 3 in the morning dude.”

Jackdaw bit his lip angrily, a single drop of blood running down his chin “It is 3 in the morning and I’m very tired so I’d very much like to conclude our business. How much?”

“To hire me?” more lip smacking “An amount. You could probably afford it.”

Jackdaw let his shoulder’s sag with relief “So it’s agreed? I’ll hire you and we can all be on our merry way.”

“Sure!” Savant said cheerfully.

Bullet dodged.

“You can hire me after I finish this job. By the way did you like the gift I sent you?”

Gift?

Jackdaw was a powerful and feared member of the illicit side of the magical world. He climbed to his position through sheer force of will and power. He left countless of his enemies broken and defeated in his wake.

To see him reduced to a flailing, paranoid mess would be a story no one would believe.

“GIFT?!” Jackdaw screamed, unable to keep the high-pitch whine out of his voice “WHAT GIFT?! SOMEONE FUCKING ANSWER ME!”

The techie was the first to shake off their stupor “Well there was a box that came in today. It was empty and we detected no magic so…”

“Box?!” Jackdaw spat as he wildly searched the room before landing on the seemingly innocent box just sitting on his desk “You brought it the fuck here?”

Everyone backed away.

“I…”

“Wait” Jackdaw cut off the techie’s answer “Maybe they were hoping you’d take it somewhere or get rid of it. No, no this is good. We’re outwitting the fucker.”

“Sir, the box was empty. And you told use you personally wanted to inspect any and all….”

“You hear that asswipe!” Jackdaw grinned ear to ear “My people are the best! We’re ahead of you. Your game is over, you hear me?”

“My man.” Savant’s voice was infuriatingly calm “It’s just a regular old box for a boring ass mobster.”

“Stop lying!” Jackdaw roared angrily, instinctively bringing down his fist on the closet object in the room.

Which of course was the box.

The parcel collapsed under the mobster’s supernatural strength with little effort. As the box was smashed, the two inert glyph drawn in an invisible ink on both ends collided and activated each other.

The room erupted in an array of dazzling, blinding lights.

The light show hadn’t lasted long but no one knew that as they stumbled around, disoriented and lost, the display still burned in their retinas.

Jackdaw howled violently, swiping at the air blindly with long talon-like nails. Any calls for explanations or help were lost under the raging mobster unleashed.

Jackdaw didn’t hear the window break, the sound of glass shattering as it rained upon the floor. He didn’t see the muzzle flash that flared across the street, Savant’s sniping perch. He knew nothing but the sudden searing pain that filled his shoulder without warning.

Everything drained out of him, he slumped to the floor like a doll. He weakly clutched at his shoulder, steam wafting off the wound as the sliver bullet dug itself deep in its new home.

It didn’t matter what kind of werebeast you were: Wolf, bear, rat or even a raven like Jackdaw. All them were deathly weakened by sliver. The mere smell could cause nausea, touch burned worse than third degree burns and any injuries could take weeks, maybe even months to heal.

Jackdaw wheezed, the room spinning in a messy blur.

“Right.” the phone landed by his ear but Savant’s voice sounded far off like it was echoing down a long tunnel “Sorry I got the paper right here.”

Muted sounds of pockets being turned inside out: Scraping of metal on brick, shuffling papers, even rustling fast food wrappers.

“Got it!” Savant beamed “Quinn says stay the fuck off his turf. Mind your lane or the next time he sends me I won’t be aiming for your shoulder.”

“How did you know I was...I was… no one knew...?” Jackdaw murmured incoherently.

“Your heart.” Savant explained “It’ll be your heart. Okay well I gotta go so take these next few months to reflect on any sort of ill advised turf wars, domestic disputes and fighting with your rivals. If you’re still interested in hiring me for revenge or whatever, you call me at my business payphone. Bye little birdy!”

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Savant dropped the phone to the floor, crushing it under their boot while rubbing the tension out of their neck. Around them was the standard stakeout gear: high powered and totally illegal sniper rifle, a neatly piled trash heap and a sniping pillow (Sniping’s hard on the stomach and knees.).

They packed away the gun, kicked the trash heap to make it look more like natural rooftop garbage and went downstairs.

Savant yawned tiredly, not at all concerned with the guards that were pouring out of Jackdaw’s hidey hole. They glanced around, trying to get their bearings when they noticed a hot dog vendor across the street.

“I really shouldn’t” they pursed their lips “Especially after paying for someone to set up the pyrotechnics spells. But I am hungry. Stomach wins!”

Savant made their way over, patting their stomach lovingly “One hotdog please. Everything on it.”

“You got it!” The vendor nodded before eyeing the commotion “What’s with that?”

“I don’t talk business.”

“O-kay. Umm here’s your hotdog. That’ll be two bucks.

Savant reached into their pocket and shoved a hundred dollars into the waiting vendor’s hand. Without a second look, Savant gratefully took the hotdog and walked away.

“Hey buddy! BUDDY! You gave me way too much!”

“You too!” Savant replied, took caught up in the rapture that was their meal.

This was a really fucking good hotdog.

#my work #Original Work #original story #my stuff

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hanbereviews · 4 years ago

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Octavinelle Main Story Review/Analysis

Welcome to the next analysis/review of the twisted wonderland main story. Today we will be talking about a very popular dorm, Octavinelle! Home to the Leech brothers and Azul Ashengrotto. I have a few mixed feelings about this story, and we’ll be speaking about them whilst we speak about the characters! As always, warning for spoilers.

Azul Ashengrotto

The antagonist of our main story, Azul gets an interesting amount of character moments as well as a decent amount of speculation about him inbetween his appearances. It is apt to say that Azul’s temperament is discussed more than directly shown in most episodes, but I and many other people have managed to piece them together!

To bring out an age old and corny metaphor, Azul thinks the pen is mightier than the sword. He was frequently bullied in elementary school due to not being as athletic and physically fit as the other children. He quickly realized there wasn’t exactly any fixing that aspect of him, but he had something even more important up his sleeve. Being smart! With Octavinelle being based on the little mermaid, of course each of the dorm residents were originally sea creatures. Azul was an octopus, and as such could use his eight legs to write a variety of spells. Eventually this allowed him to perfect his unique magic “It’s a deal,” a mimic of the sea witch Ursula’s contract she made with Ariel.

In exchange for making their wish come true, Azul would have the unsuspecting person give up a part of themselves, most of the time it’d be their magic. It’s safe to say most, if not all of Azul’s self worth stemmed from these contracts, the belief that if he had a wealth of magical abilities and leverage over the student body that he could never be taken advantage of again. This feeling of his is so pervasive that it leads to what I personally believe is one of the most heinous acts in Twisted Wonderland, he ends up essentially tricking the student body into selling themselves into slavery.

With all this in mind, it is no surprise that when the students are inevitably free from Azul’s control via destroying his contracts he immediately induces an overblot. What else could he do, when the only thing keeping his self esteem in check was the fact he had physical proof he wasn’t the same wimpy octopus from his earlier years? By the end of the story, he finds a much healthier replacement for that self esteem boost, throwing himself into monstro lounge’s business! Though, you have to wonder if his newfound interest in generating as much revenue for his personal cafe business as possible doesn’t present similar problems than his previous coping mechanism.

Jade Leech

The mediator of the Octavinelle dorm and a fan favorite, Jade is supposed to be the saner of the Leech twins. But that doesn’t exactly pan out in practice. Along with Floyd, Jade plays a more supporting role in the story. Which I believe is a bit of a flaw, as we don’t learn much about him or Floyd through their moments in the main story. Rather, we have to look beyond that into character stories, events and the chapter after Octavinelle’s. So what I am piecing together is mostly from that.

Jade and Floyd met Azul in elementary school, deciding to stick with him up until now because his actions were deemed interesting. This begs a question, will they both leave him when he does something they think of as “boring?” While they say that, their words don’t match their actions. For instance, disgust is expressed over Azul so brazenly using his magic to steal people’s abilities and thus leading into him overblotting. Yet Jade stays with him until he wakes up, and makes no indication that he no longer wishes to serve Octavinelle. Thus you can make the inference that Jade is far too attached to Azul to leave him even over something this egregious. This behavior applies to Floyd too, which leads me to an explanation of the brother’s actions around each other via…

Floyd Leech

Floyd himself! Marketed as the “crazier” of the Eel duo, Floyd also plays a supporting role in the main story. However we learn his unique magic, “Bind the Heart” allows him to redirect people’s magical attacks. Floyd’s personality is displayed as a bit more aimless than Jade’s, wanting to do things he finds fun and his attitude fluctuating with his mood. He’s got a lot more “cutesy” moments, more likely to pout or whine when things don’t go his way. Well, not exactly cutesy when you hear it, but to some people it could be!

Knowing Floyd, it seems baffling that he would follow anyone around, much less someone as “weak” as Azul. So what exactly bridges the gap between them?

Jade does. Their whole relationship rests on Jade.

This is not to say Floyd doesn’t care about Azul in his own way, because he most certainly does. It is not like Jade controls his personal relationships. But as you learn more about the brothers and their habits; you begin to understand that Floyd takes a lot of his cues on how he should be acting from Jade himself. Recall that a bit earlier I said Jade is supposed to be the saner of the two twins. Well he is, and he isn’t. With Floyd’s behavior being so erratic obviously Jade would need to compensate by seeming more approachable. But everything Floyd does he has his twin brother behind him encouraging it.

Thus it is no wonder Floyd took a liking to Azul. Jade liked him! So that meant he must be worth it. And at Floyd’s own admission he’s never exactly bored when around the both of them. So the expectation that he would want to leave Azul high and dry after his overblot is overridden by how invested he’s become in their relationship due to their dynamic. An injection of a personal theory here is also that Azul is the only friend Floyd’s managed to make on his own terms. If you take a look at his interactions with Riddle, Floyd pisses him off multiple times. Enough to get Riddle’s redfaced sprite! You have to wonder if Floyd means harm when he speaks to Riddle or if how he speaks to others just clashes with Riddle’s general temperament. Which then carries on to wondering if he has trouble making friends with others in general? But this part is all based on assumptions!

Final Thoughts

I give this story a 5/10. I think it did well in explaining Azul to us. But since his antagonistic act in the main story kind of overrode everything else going on, we couldn’t get much elaboration on Jade and Floyd themselves. Therefore whilst the plot itself was very gripping and well written, the characterization sucked! But as always, this is my personal opinion. And I won’t say the main story didn’t make me love Octavinelle, so maybe it did it’s job and I’m just being nitpicky.

#twisted wonderland #octavinelle

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himbowelsh · 4 years ago

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Drunk BOB guys??? Who are the softie hug-loving cuddlers and who are the loud and obnoxious ones? The ones who break out of their shell when intoxicated? The unusually quiet ones? The ones who throw it tf back when Usher comes on? I'd love to hear some thots

oooooh my god okay okay, here are the biggest thots

Richard Winters: Umm, alcohol whom? Has never been drunk in his life and doesn’t intend to start now. He gets all the buzz he needs off the exhilaration of a brisk jog, or a cool glass of water.

Lewis Nixon: The Literal Alcoholic. Thinks he’s more fun when he’s drunk than when he’s sober; is actually not a very fun drunk. Is even worse when he’s sobering up! At this point, he has to have some liquor in his system 99% of the time, otherwise his body feels like it’s out to destroy itself. (Alcoholism is a disease, boys and girls.) Nix buzzed is Nix at peak performance; he’s friendly, efficient, and capable. Nix drunk is a slowly spiralling plane crash. He usually passes out before he hits the ground, but god forbid he gets there, because... it’s messy. He can occasionally be a messy, emotional, overdramatic drunk, but only when he’s really overdone it.

Carwood Lipton: The Respectable Drunk. A very calm, kind of sleepy drunk. Doesn’t get drunk often, even though he holds his liquor well, because he doesn’t prefer it --- when he’s had a few, he prefers to just watch the people around him, smiling and only half paying attention. His mind tends to wander when he’s drunk. Drunk Lip does have one fatal weakness: if he’s out with his partner, and his partner shows even the slightest bit of encouragement, Lip will get riled up very quickly. He goes from calm drunk to horny drunk in a very short time; will eagerly press his partner up against the wall if given the chance. (Drunk Lip is way more inclined to PDA.)

Ron Speirs: The Soft Drunk. Literally, he’s such a tender drunk; he has absolutely no balance, and is a little confused, but he’s sweet, okay? Ron is far more expressive when he’s drunk; he gets touchier, ramblier, kinder. Drunk Ron has faith in humanity where Sober Ron gave up long ago. He’s a really relaxed drunk, unlikely to go off and do anything wild, but he wants to be around other people --- around his friends. Ron never has a good time when he drinks alone. (Plus, he’s got a reputation to uphold, and only certain people are allowed to see him with his guards down.)

Harry Welsh: The Bionic Drunk. Nothing can injure him; nothing can kill him. Many things have tried. Harry has done so much dumb shit when intoxicated, things that would have wounded him in a heartbeat if he was sober, and has never gotten a scratch to show for it. He’s a very fun drunk --- he laughs a lot, is very affectionate, and super pleasant to be around --- but common sense and self-preservation goes out the window. Look out, because he might too, if someone dared him.

Eugene Roe: The Changeling Drunk. Who is this man and what did he do with Doc Roe? Drunk Gene is... an experience, alright? His inhibitions are gone. Suddenly, his personality has been turned up to eleven; he’s extroverted, he’s exciting, he laughs loudly and jokes around... he’s dancing on top of the bar, holy shit. Is a very fun time, but you have to keep an eye on him, because he sometimes goes off and does something insane, a-la-Sober-Speirs. Drunk Gene fears nothing, including himself.

Joe Toye: The Depressed Drunk. Zoinks, Scoob. Drunk Joe is actually willing to talk about his emotions --- and maybe he shouldn’t, because he’s got some sad stuff going on there, man. Drinking is supposed to numb your worries, but Joe often finds the opposite is the case; his burdens somehow get heavier, harder to ignore, and if he’s allowed to slip into them he’ll end up dwelling in them for the rest of the night. So long as he’s around buddies who are actively keeping his spirits up, he’s a decent drunk guy to have around. If neglected, however, Drunk Joe may shed a few tears into his Guinness.

George Luz: The Showman Drunk. His jokes and impressions get way sloppier, but somehow he’s twice as hilarious, so he can get away with it. Drunk George is way more animated, with a seemingly endless supply of energy; he teases everybody, he laughs the loudest in the room, and he really seems like he’s just come out to have a good time. The kind of buddy you want to get drunk with. (Be warned: comes with a rarely activated Depressed Drunk mode, when he shuts off and wants to be left the hell alone. Maybe his battery runs out after a while or something. During this time, George is feeling a lot of things very strongly; this condition is best treated with a cozy blanket and glass of water. Very rare, but once you’ve seen him in this state, you can never unsee it.)

Bill Guarnere: The Loud Drunk. Is there a difference between sober Bill and drunk Bill? Debateable. Drunk Bill is just Bill turned up to eleven. He doesn’t actually get drunk a lot --- somehow he ends up the designated driver, and minds less than he should --- but social drinking usually leads to Bill shouting over a crowded bar. He’s usually up for a good time, he just has no volume control. (Also, the accent. It thickens. Can someone translate, please? Is he speaking English? What the hell is he saying?)

Babe Heffron: The Weird Drunk. Drunk Babe will break it down on the dance floor (should he? maybe not) and do his president rooster impression in public, but he’s equally likely to just... confuse everybody else. He’s got a lot of thoughts. A lot of feelings. Some of them are about the meaning of life, some of them are about the best kind of sandwich bread, some of them are about whether the Loch Ness Monster has a favorite type of bird. He talks so much when he’s drunk, and will ramble anyone’s ear off about any of these topics. Escape while you can.

Joseph Liebgott: The Volatile Drunk. Really a mixed bag; you never know what you’re going to get from him. Sometimes, Joe can be a very fun drunk, the life of the party, willing to do anything anybody dares him to. That’s if he’s drinking in a good mood. If he starts drinking in a sour mood, it’ll only get worse from there. Honestly, he can be a mean drunk. He lashes out at people, gets angry, sometimes starts crying... it’s not great. You have to keep tabs on him while he’s drinking, because if his mood looks like it’s dipping, he should not be allowed any more alcohol.

David Kenyon Webster: The Emotional Drunk. He’s just... got a lot of feelings! And he really wants to talk about them! Becomes extremely talkative while drunk; this is not always a good thing, because he’s pronouncedly less eloquent. Drunk Web is very passionate about politics... and the environment... and marine biology... and the commercialization of public holidays. He has something to say about most things. Sometimes he’s just muttering to himself, and no one can keep up with what he’s saying. Makes so many notes, either in his phone or scribbling them down on napkins, because he’s “going to need to remember this”, but they’re all illegible come morning. Feels things very strongly. Might cry.

Johnny Martin: The Feral Drunk. Wrangling Johnny when he’s had a few too many is an experience. Holy shit, this man knows no fear. Drunk Johnny has 5x less patience for everyone’s bullshit, and wants them to know it. The amount of bar fights this man has gotten into... the best part is, he’s never lost. (Yeah, because he has Bull right there to make sure his drunk friend doesn’t get himself killed.)

Frank Perconte: The Confused Drunk. Only kind of knows where he is. Complains a lot; puts things down, misplaces them, and blames someone else for taking them. Drunk Perco has a ‘Real Housewives at Brunch’ mode, only activated when someone gives him tequila; he will scream and throw drinks. Otherwise he’s just kind of tiresome and needs someone to make sure he makes it home okay.

Floyd Talbert: The Mom Drunk. Yes, he did just do four shots of gin, but he’s still going to make sure everyone else is drinking water and not wandering off with anyone creepy. Drunk Floyd’s got an eye on everyone; he’s kind of the mama hen wrangling all her chicks, making sure they don’t stray far. He parties like a frat boy, but will wrangle everyone like a girl scout mother.

Shifty Powers: The Missing Drunk. What the hell? What happened, where did he go? He was sitting right there a second ago --- when he’s drunk, Shifty tends to wander. He just likes the quiet. His friends will always find him in bizarre places, after a few minutes of panicked searching. Once, he was laying on top of a car; once he was on the club’s roof. He’s fine, he knows where he is, he’s just thinking about stuff.

Donald Malarkey: The Absurdly Lucky Drunk. He’s got some Irish faeries looking out for him or something, because Drunk Don is literally living his best life. If he gambles, he’s going to win. If he misplaces his wallet, he’s going to find it with an extra $30 inside. If he trips, he’s going to land in an attractive person’s lap. Everyone wants to be in proximity to Drunk Don, not only because he’s a pretty good (if emotional) time, but because some of his luck might rub off.

Skip Muck: The Giggly Drunk. What’s so funny? No one knows. Skip might not even know, but he’s going to laugh anyways, because everything is hilarious. He somehow tells even better jokes when drunk, but he laughs at them himself, so that measures it out. He effortlessly makes himself the life of the party; Skip will get up and karaoke with the band, cheer all his friends on in their dumb shit, drink way more than he reasonably should... going out drinking with Skip is always a great time.

Herbert Sobel: The Alarmingly Fun Drunk. No, I’m not going to elaborate. Fill in the mental images yourself.

#winters and i say teetotaler rights #headcanons #band of brothers #hbo war

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kyndaris · 4 years ago

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2020: Unprecedented Times

Most people, at the start of the year, had high hopes for 2020. For many, it was the start of a new decade (though, ask anyone on the street and the start of a decade is open to debate). Here in Australia, the start of 2020 merely carried on the disasters of 2019. Beset by bushfires all along the Eastern coast, we watched as our tourism numbers slump as the denizens of Sydney wore masks as a means to fight the harmful effects of smoke inhalation. Many small businesses, particularly in small towns, felt the brunt of the natural disaster. Homes were destroyed by the thousands. Worse was the fact that livelihoods that were dependent on visitors from all around the world (in particular, China) were also badly affected.

Why would anyone come to Australia, after all, when there was smoke in the air and the air quality was teetering on dangerously toxic?

Many hoped that once the fires had petered out, however, life would return to normal. Little did they know that by March, the world would be caught in the grips of COVID-19. After all, though there were the occasional news headlines of a new disease plaguing China in early January (which resulted in me warning my grandmother that maybe she not go over to celebrate the Year of the Rat), most people were focused on Donald Trump’s impeachment.

Then, of course, there was the assassination of an infamous Iranian general: Qasem Soleimani. Once again, the world’s attention was arrested by the acts of the United States of America. Most were worried that the tension between Iran and the United States of America would boil over. At the time, it almost felt like a repeat of Trump’s antagonism towards North Korea.

In the United Kingdom, Brexit was well underway. After his re-election in December 2019, Boris Johnson continued his negotiations for a way that Britain could leave the European Union.

On a more personal scale, Australia was wracked by sport club funding scandals and climate change protests.

As for me, I was more concerned about the video game delays. Now that I write this, in December of 2020, I look back and think that perhaps it was appropriate for Cyberpunk 2077 to have been delayed until next year in order to fix the bugs that have the plagued the title ever since launch. Still, I was also vastly disappointed that Vampires the Masquerade II would not be releasing anytime soon. And saddened to hear that The Last of Us Part II had been pushed back.

After COVID-19 swept across the globe and taken hold in most countries and continents (which now extends to Antarctica thanks to a few Chileans testing positive), I watched as stupidity rose to the fore. Lockdown protests, the politicisation of the wearing of masks and the attacks on East Asians. Despite the severity of the virus and how infectious it was, I was disheartened to see so many people flout social distancing rules and break lockdown requirements. Most notably among the rich and famous such as politicians and NRL (National Rugby League) players.

Of course, being in Australia, our bid to ‘flatten the curve’ proved incredibly effective. Articles I’ve read indicate that this was mostly due to Australian’s observance of laws and regulations, as well as our trust in science. In fact, I’ve heard the refrain, ‘at least we’re not America’ spoken quite a few times this year. And honestly, after looking at the statistics, with the Land of the Free having upwards of 18.5 million cases with 326,000 (and counting) deaths, I couldn't agree more to the sentiment.

The whole ‘do as we say, not as we do’ approach by its President further served to fracture society and gave rise to conspiracy theories that served no purpose but showcase the height of people’s ignorance and distrust. It didn’t help that most Western countries also placed more importance on the ‘economy’ than people’s lives. Many global leaders were of the opinion that the ‘cure should not be worse than the disease’ and that a few deaths to keep the budget afloat was a necessary evil.

Well, to that, I say, ‘Bah! Humbug!’ Without acting decisively and quickly, many nations have ruined their economy AND seen their people die in droves. When people are falling sick and suffering from long-term effects, they’re hardly likely to spend money. Nor will they be able to contribute to society and be able to continue working. Instead, you’ll be saddled with additional welfare taxes. By going hard and fast, closing down the economy for two months, maybe three, you can bounce back harder and stronger without fear of contagion.

Now, many countries are struggling with high numbers of new infected each day AND an economy that’s in tatters. Good job.

It also doesn’t hurt to give back to the community and help struggling businesses. Schemes such as Jobkeeper and Jobseeker (at least in Australia) were able to alleviate some of the stress for many workers. And honestly, perhaps if the world had implemented a universal basic income, this would also enable people ensure their basic needs are met without sinking into poverty.

The fact that so many only see the short-term rather than long-term is astounding. And as for Sweden’s model? The less said about it, the better. ‘Herd immunity’ without a working vaccine? Madness. Utter madness. Particularly when the virus is airborne.

After enjoying a decent summer, numbers rose again in Europe and much of it was back under lockdown. A new strain, that has proven much more infectious, was discovered in the South of England! Trump tested positive for COVID-19, but to the dismay of many, he recovered quite quickly.

But 2020 did not end there. Once again, the struggles between ethnic minorities were brought again to the limelight. The death of George Floyd saw the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and served to highlight the disproportionate number of those living in poverty and in prison. As a person of colour myself (being of East Asian descent), I tried to explain some of this to my colleagues. But some of them saw Black Lives Matter as a predominantly American issue - and disregarded the fact that many Indigenous Australians were also in prison, caught in a vicious cycle of crime and violence.

It wasn’t long, however, that Australia experienced its own second wave in Melbourne, due to breaches in hotel quarantine. And honestly, it came as a surprise when it also happened in Adelaide and we learned that they weren’t testing hospital workers or those in high-risk workplaces on a REGULAR basis. You would have thought that all workers that transported aircrew or worked as security for those quarantining in hotels would be temperature-checked and given a swab every few days (or at least once a week). But no.

This is why we can’t have good things.

Christmas in Sydney has also been somewhat neutered by the fact that there has been another sizeable outbreak in the Northern Beaches local council. And, of course, many people in Greater Sydney have been barred from other states. Gotta love those hard state borders where we treat each other as separate countries. Still - if it protects the people, the Premiers will stop at nothing. Even if it means families can’t be together. But better that than seeing Australia become the United States of America.

Jumping from COVID-19, 2020 also saw an explosion in Beirut due to the storing of large amounts of ammonium nitrate at the port. Approximately 178 people were killed and more than 6,500 were injured. Locust swarms in Africa descended upon crops, threatening food supply and livelihoods for millions of people. The West Coast of the United States of America suffered from catastrophic wildfires. Meanwhile, in south-east Asia, countries were hit by flooding and typhoons. As a side note, Armenia and Azerbaijan restarted their ongoing feud.

And to cap it all off, 2020 decided to further traumatise the future generation, a suicide video was uploaded to Tiktok.

And oh, the US election. Where our favourite President tried to delay and impede mail-in-votes. In the days following the 3 November 2020 election, the world eagerly watched as the votes were counted and each state was certified. Trump, as is always his way, attempted to claim victory in the early hours of the morning of 4 November 2020, before deriding voter fraud with no evidence to substantiate his claims.

The weeks that followed saw a number of lawsuits that were lodged. Most, of which, were simply dismissed out of hand. And while his supporters have continued to claim that fraud was evident in the 2020 election, there has been no substantial pieces of evidence provided. Affidavits and hearsay, fortunately, do not a case make.

In Australia, our once promising relationship with China took a turn for the worse. While instances of racism, after the initial COVID-19, did not help, it also seemed that the finger pointing among government officials and demands for inquiries into wet markets only served to fuel the fire between the two nations. After initiating a trade war with the United States of America, China then saw fit to put significant tariffs on Australian beef, barley, wine and coal (to name but a few).

The spat between Australia and China also took on a more insidious tone when several Australian journalists were forced to flee.

And with the unveiling of alleged war crimes committed by Australian troops in Afghanistan, the relationship between the two nations have come to an all-time low. China’s tweet of a doctored image that had an Australian soldier about to cut the throat of an Afghan child saw our Prime Minister taking to social media to demand an apology.

All in all, 2020 has felt like both an incredibly short and long year in equal measure. For an introvert, such as myself, it’s been mostly the same. In fact, I can’t believe that it’s already at an end. Though my gaming has continued, as has my writing, I felt like I hardly interacted with any of my friends or did anything conducive to my social skills. While I’ve been made permanent at my place of work, it’s also felt a little stagnant. For a good long while, particularly in March, it felt like we were on the cusp of something huge and terrible. As the numbers climbed, I desperately wanted a hard lockdown to be called when leaders vacillated.

2021 does not promise to be much better. While vaccines have rolled out in several countries, it’ll be a long time coming before the world manages to attain a sense of normalcy. For this blogger, I look forward to just kicking back and finally getting my hands on a PlayStation 5.

As for anyone that has worked on the front lines during this pandemic, I just want to say a big hearty ‘thank you.’ All of you have sacrificed so much and seen so many terrible things. I wish that we all listened to your warnings instead of inundating emergency rooms thinking COVID-19 was a hoax.

Remember: keep at least 1.5 metres away from another person, wash/ sanitise your hands regularly and wear a mask if you can’t socially distance or are in an enclosed space.

#personal blog #2020 year in review

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packernet · 8 years ago

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New Post has been published on http://www.packernet.com/blog/2017/03/26/nfc-north-roundup-minnesota-vikings/

NFC North Roundup - Minnesota Vikings

Check out other NFC North teams:

Detroit Lions Chicago Bears

2016 Season Summary

The Vikings season was a tale of two teams. Through 5 games they went 5-0, looked to have the best defense in the NFL, were thought to be the favorites for NFC North champs, and some wondered if there was anyone that could stop them from taking their first ever Lombardi Trophy.

In the end, however, despite the respect we give to defenses and their ability to help a team win, turns out you at least need some ability to move the football down the field in order to win football games. The Vikings didn’t have that ability.

In the end the team went 8-8. Not only was their offense a disgrace but their defense took their foot off the gas a little. Although still an amazing defense, you won’t find them at the top of anything. Best stat I could find, they were 3rd in yards per game.

Offseason

The Vikings look a lot more like the Packers than the Bears or Lions in terms of their acquisitions. So far they’ve signed 4 players and have seen 8 players walk.

Including what they are expected to pay draft picks this year, the Vikings have around $10M in cap space to spend according to Spotrac.

Signings so far

Datone Jones, DE, Packers

A man that was probably always better suited as a 4-3 defensive end, Datone Jones joins a long list of Packers to sign with our division rivals, the Minnesota Vikings.

Jones makes a good amount of sense for a few reasons.

First, although defensive end isn’t a massive need, depth is. Behind Everson Griffin and Danielle Hunter, you’ll find a pile of names that graded out horribly. Jones, while not seen as an elite player, is a buffer between the two extremes.

Second, there is every reason to believe, despite his mediocre play with the Packers, that he will be a much better performer in Minnesota. Being able to play a position that is much more natural, on a defense that is one of the best, coupled with Jones’ attributes and abilities that made him a number 1 pick in the first place, it’s not hard to imagine that he could quickly become a great player for the Vikings.

Riley Reiff, OT, Lions

The offensive line for the Vikings possibly the biggest liability. Althought Joe Berger at guard is quite good, the center and tackle position are a nightmare.

The addition of Reiff makes sense in so far as he is a player that can fill a position of need.

Should we worry about it? No. Although he immediately becomes a starter, Reiff is not a very good lineman. He’s a subpar pass blocker and a horrible run blocker. Sorry Latavious.

Mike Remmers, OT, Panthers

If I’m wrong about the abilities of the two tackles, the Vikings are instantly a very scary football team.

That said, Remmers is not good. Unlike Reiff, I’m not 100% sure Remmers starts on day 1. The reason I’m not sure is due to the fact that Remmers and Sirles are basically the same player. Both are pretty decent run blockers and horrific pass blockers.

I suppose it’s possible Remmers plays right tackle and Sirles slides to right guard. If so, the Vikings will have 1 side they can run to and with moderate success. Other than that, the line is useless.

Let’s all hope it stays that way.

Unsigned

The current unsigned players are as follows:

Adrian Peterson, RB

This is pretty simple. I like A.P. Until I watch him play terribly, I refuse to believe he is done terrorizing the league. He hasn’t been good in Minnesota but there is no way we can put the blame on him.

Be that as it may, the Vikings won’t be bringing him back.

Roster Breakdown

I’ve already touched on quite a few players and positions but let’s take a closer look.

Quarterback

Despite all the mocking, Bradford played pretty well in 2016. He played one of the best quarterback performances I’ve ever seen against the Packers and was ranked 12th by PFF.

The unfortunate part of all this is the fact that the key piece seems to be in place on the offense. If the Vikings can get a few other pieces squared away, they can be a dominant team for many years to come.

Wide Receiver

Another position you would expect to be easily picked apart, the Vikings are also doing pretty well at WR. PFF has Diggs and Thielen ranked almost the same as the Packers top to receivers, Nelson and Cobb.

Unlike the Packers, however, there is 0 depth behind those two. WR is certainly a need for the Vikings.

Running Back

I already talked about Murray and everyone knows the situation behind him. We’ve been watching the Vikings backups play quite a bit the last few years.

Still the running back situation entirely depends on the offensive line play. If they don’t fix it, the backs will continue to struggle. If they do, the Vikings will at least have a moderately good running attack to compliment Bradford and the passing attack.

Tight End

Not a massive need, tight end is certainly a position that could use some work. We’ve been hearing for years about the potential of Kyle Rudolph but he’s never really become the kind of player the Vikings hoped for.

That said, if they did manage to find a TE they would have a pretty scary offense to go along with that top ranked defense.

Again, the ceiling is limited by how long Bradford can stay vertical.

Offensive Line

I feel like every paragraph has hit on offensive line so, in summary, the Vikings going 8-8 or being Super Bowl contenders hinges on finding two tackles and a center…. possibly a guard too.

It’s just an opinion but I find it hard to refute.

Defensive Interior

The D line isn’t as good as the Packers but it’s still very good. Linval Joseph is a monster in the middle and Tom Johnson does pretty well next to him. The issue is the complete lack of depth.

Considering the fact that the big men need to be rotated quite a bit, having 2 defensive linemen isn’t a great situation.

Sharrif Floyd is the 1 wild card. He was a first round pick in 2013 who has shown flashes but has mostly underwhelmed since his 2013 selection. He missed almost all of 2016 with a knee injury.

For Comparison, Mike Daniels is better than anyone the Vikings have in the middle as well as 4 guys that can play behind him. The Vikings have 1 guy that is on Daniels level and maybe 2 that can play next to him.

Bottom line, they need some depth. If an offense can catch Linval on the sideline, as it stands, they may be able to run it down the vikings throat with ease.

Edge Defenders

Another position I’ve touched on, the Vikings are in a pretty good position here. They potentially have 3 good defensive ends already going into 2017 with Everson Griffin, Danielle Hunter, and Datone Jones.

If, on the other hand, Jones doesn’t pan out, there are some depth issues here.

Linebacker

Another guy I really wanted the Packers to snag in the draft, Eric Kendricks is a solid middle linebacker. The issue is the guys next to him. In base defense, the Vikings need to be able to put 3 linebackers on the field. As it stands, that’s two too many.

Linebacker is certainly a need for this team.

Cornerback

One of the biggest surprises to me this offseason was to discover the Vikings had a 38 year old guy on their team playing corner ranked as a top ten corner in the NFL.

Terrence Newman was my number one hope for offseason signings for the Packers. A guy you sign to a short term contract that is a freak of a corner that can coach up the young bucks, and one that no doubt could be signed cheap.

Unfortunately the Packers brass didn’t agree and the Vikings were able to retain him.

Behind him, are some pretty good options. Xavier Rhodes makes a great number two and Trae Waynes has done pretty well for himself in his 2 years with the team.

Safety

To round this out, yes, all four teams in the NFC North are pretty well set at the position. At least in their ability to put two on the field with confidence.

Harrison Smith and Andrew Sendejo are a fine pair. Unfortunately, much like the Packers, there is nobody behind them you really want to have to sub in.

Since safeties really don’t rotate in and out, injury is really the only risk here and could very well be why most teams have 2 good safeties and no depth.

2017 Draft

As it stands now, the Vikings will have 8 selections in the 2017 draft.

Round 2, No. 48

Round 3, No. 79

Round 3, No. 86 (from Miami)

Round 4, No. 121

Round 4, No. 129 (from Miami)

Round 5, No. 160

Round 6, No. 199

Round 7, No. 232

Unfortunately for the Vikings, the cost of attaining their quarterback was a first round draft pick. One that certainly would come in handy for a team that is a few good picks away from making a Super Bowl run.

That said, they do have 8 picks in 2017 which gives them plenty of ammo.

Looking Ahead

It’s hard to put my finger on the team as far as expectations. Overall I would say they are underrated offensively and overrated defensively. They are a few picks away from being great but a few injuries away from being 4th in the division.

It’s a very volatile team. Although I’m certainly afraid of their ceiling, I’m optimistic about their floor.

#Minnesota Vikings

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