#however i think i can overanalyze this to the point where it does assist my argument

[hanzajesthanza]

truly though, i am comforted by the idea of regis being autistic because… consider. he’s been alive for hundreds of years and has been through so much turmoil and has had to commit to self-improvement and self-control and all of these ideals and principles. and in the same process of that, he had to examine himself—take a good look in the mirror, as the saying goes… though it may not be quite accurate in this case—why he faced these insurmountable issues in the first place which instigated and excerbated his vices in the first place. “treat the cause, not the symptoms.”

and the cause was that he didn’t like himself. he only drank to escape… from himself. so he could be a different self, one that others accepted, but one who very quickly became a terrible person—because that version of himself had none of his ever-so-dislikable and aggravating and unrelatable traits: his know-it-all-isms, his philosophizing, his overthinking. his lack of understanding the social cues he was surrounded by. everything that would “spoil the party.” the libation was the symptom of insecurity and disbelief that anyone could truly accept him for the way he is, unaltered, sober.

and even with all of this time, possibly the span of an entire human life, spent working on himself, spent trying to understand others—he learned two things.

firstly—after all this time—he cannot change himself. he has to live with, and possibly embrace, the parts of himself that long ago made him impossible to gain social approval. even if now, he is living a solitary and even somewhat isolated life.

(note: yes, he only spends three months out of the year nearby fen carn, and the rest of the year he lives in dilingen, in a city—while i don’t doubt that he was an important pillar of the community, with his altruistic tendencies, he also never mentions having any close friends in dillingen. he decided in one night to join geralt’s quest. he didn’t worry that anyone from dillingen would miss him…)

secondly—even after all this time spent trying to have a better relationship with and to fit in with society (and even though he’s become, if i may say with modesty, very good at it, exceptionally good at it), it’s still a very intentional factor of his life, something that takes a carefully prepared set of behavior and mental work. it’s still “mimicking.” again, the span of an entire human lifetime put into understanding people and society and he still doesn’t. there’s still much he does not understand, does not agree with, and even ridicules. he has integrated into the society, but he does not innately understand it. he only understands it through his uniquely analytical perspective, the perspective of an outsider trying to understand.

[bathoarchives]

Nthabiseng Faith's Journey of Being A Model And The Creative Director of Kwa Jewelry

Nthabiseng Faith is a 23-year-old born and raised in Gaborone, She is the creative director of Kwa Jewelry, A jewellery brand founded by artist and arts educator LegakwanaLeo Makgekgenene.

She is also a model signed to Kult Models. Nthabiseng has worked with Glotto and LWE over the last three years, curates her own photoshoots, and collaborates with other creatives. In this conversation, she discusses how she got into the model industry, her work for Kwa Jewelry and much more.

How did you start your modelling career, what sparked your interest in the field?  

I actually was never interested in pursuing modelling until later on in life. I've always loved fashion for as long as I can remember, however growing up I had other outlets of expressing myself such as photography, thrift upcycles and writing. I started when a mutual friend (Thuto from Path Images) kindly reached out for a test shoot cause he believed I had "the look". The shoot was surprisingly comfortable and spontaneous for me which I absolutely adored, topped with the very lovely end results. So I decided to research the industry intensively and give it a try with more intention and direction.

Was it easy for you to get comfortable with being in front of the camera or just being around a couple of people during photoshoots when you started modelling?

Yes it was, I never struggled to switch on what I refer to as my alter ego. When shooting the outer world all becomes a blur to me, my periphery focuses solely on the lens plus allowing my body and expressions to flow as one with the camera.

Which photoshoot/campaign that you have done, is your favourite?

I don't quite believe in favorites. I am very peculiar with what I shoot and with who, so everything I have done I value.

Nthabiseng Faith photographed by Juliana Schaller

You are Kwa Jewelry’s creative director, how did that come about and what do you like most about the brand? 

I have previously worked closely with the founder as their personal art assistant, so when they decided to relaunch the jewelry brand I was fortunate enough to be on their mind. Even though I had not done something like this before, they believed in my artistic mind and work ethic which I am very grateful for. Which brings me to your next point, honestly everything the brand embodies is very likeable.

Since joining the Kwa Jewelry brand, how are you adjusting to the role and what have you learned from the experience?

Honestly, the adjustment was seamless. If anything, it just amplified parts of me I kept suppressed over the years. So it has been such a reaffirming journey. I can be harshly critical of my work so the biggest takeaway for me right now would be learning to trust myself despite not knowing how people will receive or interact with the content.

How would you explain the experience of being a model in Botswana, and how are you dealing with it? 

All cards on the table? It has been such a horrible experience for me locally. Again, as previously mentioned I am very particular. So I think that can easily be interpreted as being "difficult" which has resulted in such a disconnect and void. I am at a point where I no longer overanalyze or beat myself about it though. Still very grateful for all experiences, everything is a learning curve.

Nthabiseng Faith for LWE (then Versa La Troy) , SS23 POLENA Collection photographed by goodlivingmedia

Are you a freelance model or are you under management, between the two which is more is easy to work under?

Since I started in 2018, for most of my career I have been a freelance model. However, early this year I got signed internationally with Kult Models in Cape Town. As for which is easier to work under, each has its pros and cons. Also it would depend on your experience and the kind of modeling one does among other thing.

You've modelled for LWE since 2021, how did that come about and did you expect this 'partnership' with Troy Gabolwelwe to continue till now?

Troy reached out to me , which I was very open to without hesitation as I could see his passion and determination. Over the years I have watched him grow and hone his skills as a designer, each collection building towards a very distinctive style which absolutely makes me happy and proud of him. I think we are able to work so well together for so long as we have since built a friendship and connection where we are able to share our dreams and hold each other accountable.

Kwa Jewelry has branded itself as an Afrocentric brand, why did you choose to do so?

(I was not the one that decided on going with Afrocentric elements, I was fortunate enough to work with a team that allows me full creative expression, so my process does get inspired to create and lean more towards Africanity inevitably)

Nthabiseng Faith for Glotto SS23  “Glide into The Last Days of Summer” campaign photographed by Wenzile Dube

How do you balance staying true to your creative vision while also adapting to industry trends

By not adapting to trends. As cliche as it sounds, literally just doing me on a daily. Each day simply aiming to enlighten my creative self through experimentation and execution.

Where do you see Botswana’s fashion industry in the future and what role do you want to play in its development?  

Honestly hard to say but I hope we grow to be open-minded and respectful of all the different roles and of one another within the industry.

 What is the biggest you’ve had moment in your career? 

My biggest moments are yet to come.

Nthabiseng Faith photographed by Juliana Schaller

Who or what has been your biggest inspiration in Botswana’s creative industry? 

Myself.

 What message do you have for young aspiring creatives?  

Do not shy away from being different. With it may come being or feeling alone. Find comfort and affirmation in knowing that despite all of that, there is a tribe for you somewhere out there and someday you’ll know when you have found it. People who will not only resonate with your highest growing self but make you feel seen, heard and understood.

What’s next for you Nthabiseng?

I just know it's bigger and better. Constantly working towards ensuring this.

[songketalliance]

The Ups and Downs of a Recovering Bipolar

“The road towards recovery is not a small hill that you saunter through. It is mountainous, terraneous, sometimes dangerous, easy for a minute, and harder to go through the next.“

As told by Abby Alihan

I am bipolar. There’s no way to get around that: I am bipolar, with an official diagnoses of hypomania. I have random bouts of depression especially after I have experienced episodes of hyperactivity - I talk more than usual, I have more energy to do things but can never really focus on anything. I get easily irritated as quickly as it is for me to be thrilled over something.

Before I got my official diagnoses, I spent a long time believing that my depression was a farce - that it was negative thoughts in an environment that urges you to “think positive!”, and my decision to cut myself was a teenage phase. However, as the symptoms continue well after secondary school, I realized that I have a real problem, one I cannot dismiss as a phase and I had to escape from, especially when the thoughts inside my head was constantly telling me to harm myself. Ever had a thought where you wish you’re being run over by a car? If no, then great. I fantasized getting run over by a car so regularly, that it became a part of my normal everyday thought.

So I seek for help, because seeking help was what I needed especially when my head felt so loud yet so lonely all the time.

However, seeking for help does not equate to immediate normalcy. For one thing, I was misdiagnosed by the first doctor I met. When I was told that I have Multiple Personality Disorder, the information took a toll on me. After a session of pouring out all my problems onto the doctor’s table, and being told I have Multiple Personality Disorder, the intensity of the session messed with my mind further. The diagnoses stuck with me for a week until my next session - I spent a week worrying and overanalyzing my behavior, which exhausted my brain. A week later, I was given a new doctor, who was more patient with me and took their time to figure out what my problem actually was. It took four to six sessions when they concluded that I have hypomania, and I began taking medications.

My therapy sessions started off long, and has become progressively shorter. I supposed I am getting better for the past three years of therapy and medication. I have formed a good relationship with my doctor, one that is bounded by trust. I learned to control my feelings, to jot down my thoughts when I have episodes or my mood begin to fluctuate. Writing down how I feel or is thinking during an episode helps me recognise and acknowledge what I am going through, as well as assists the doctor in how to help me in my recovery.

Despite this, the road towards recovery is not a small hill that you saunter through. It is mountainous, terraneous, sometimes dangerous, easy for a minute, and harder to go through the next. I have relapses despite my ability to control myself through adhering proper sleeping patterns, taking medications, and having enough emotional support. Under the guise of hypomania, everything is good when I feel elated -what was it they say? “Think positive!”. I can become more productive and generally have more drive to do things.

But because I have so much energy that I often don't know what to do with, it also increases my impulse for speech and movement. Imagine me asking a person about where they got their glasses from. The moment they are about to answer me, I am already off to the next person, and then moving on to the next, and so on and so forth. I want to do everything at one go, and oftentimes, I am unsure as to what I was saying to the people before. My mind is literally everywhere.

However, when the energy revolves around anger and frustration, I feel them intensely, too much, almost overbearing. When it’s sadness, I turn depressed. On the days I cannot control it, I pray that I don’t hurt myself or anyone around me. Everyone experiences different range of emotions every day, but for me, feeling everything so intensely can be tiring and makes me lost control over my body and mind, to the point that I would forget what I had done that day. I can spot certain signals of my hypomania now learning from therapy, but it can take days for me to realise that I'm having an episode because it all happens very subtly. 

Relapsing, therefore, is something I have to deal in the process of healing. I still have urges to harm myself, which makes me feel very disappointed towards my thoughts and inability to control my thinking. However, since I know that hypomania is treatable, I am adamant to be on the path towards getting better—because letting it manifest inside of me affects not just me, but those around me. Seeing anyone getting hurt is not easy for me.

We witness the idea of getting better as a linear form in the media that is presented to us. The truth is, getting over any form of mental illness – or any illness, for that matter - has its ups and downs. My life is a constant battle between getting better and my mental illness trying to get the better of me. As soon as I think I have made great strides in my improvement, my illness manages to derail me once I stop doing one thing out of the many routines I have to take in order to manage my hypomania.

It is tiring trying to get better, but right now, I hold onto a vision of myself who is better—one who has strong self-control and is conscious of her surroundings. I am going to be that person, and it may not be tomorrow or next month, but I know I will be that person one day.

As told by Abby Alihan

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[josiahdavidchapman]

Serving sexists

“Hello, welcome to Bob’s. My name is Josiah. I’ll be your server tonight. How’s the night treating you?”

“Fairly well. Look man, I’m a wealthy spoiled kid. But these prices on your wine list aren’t just rape, their molestation. I’m not gonna order wine by the bottle...it’s not your fault.”

“Not a problem sir, what else can I get you?”

“Jack and diet please.”

“Yes sir. Coming right up.”

I walk away from the hosts seat at head of the table towards the computer and order the man his drink. Why would he make such a comment? He’s rich. What does he care? Restaurants make most of their money off of liquor and wine mark ups. He’s a regular. You’d think he know. But I play it off. My job is simple: take care of the guest, regardless of how irrational he or she may be. This guy was the epitome of rich: boot cute faded jeans that reek of the “I buy pricy clothes but don’t give two shits about it” vibe; fancy pointed shoes that didn’t begin to redeem his lack of cohesive dress ware; a colorful button down with wide stripes and off putting shades of orange and brown; spiked thin hair undoubtedly groomed with “touch of gray,” inspired by the “save your hair” bosley mantra; a dark orange skin tone indicative of long hours in tanning beds and the frequent lavish tropical vacation; and to top it off, his dolled-up white teeth hide an unenthusiastic, banal smile that wants to be sincere but couldn’t possibly manage relatability, even given the best of days and a genuine effort. His name was James. From the moment I shook his hand, I despised the man. Everything about my first impression of him was contently stuck in the rich, snobby, egotistical realm. Regardless, I did my job, and he seemed reasonably happy, despite his complaints.

The more I wait on wealthy high profile people, the more disenchanted I become. What do they have to offer that’s acutely better than my arsenal of personal strengths, loves, and giftings? How did they grow into powerful individuals? And why should I give a damn about the particularities of one persons privileged, cushioned life? Throughout my life, I’ve had to work for everything. Food, drink, health, education, transportation, and a fragment of social relevancy, all on my own dime. Then again, maybe I’m wrong to judge him. Perhaps he’s entirely self-made and deserves every dollar the ecosystem of western capitalism has afforded him. However, if one man’s wealth speaks louder and more obnoxiously than every other potentially relatable subjective experience, I can’t help but think he’s on on the losing side of the spectrum. Money is great. But money can’t buy a blissful soul. Nor can it purchase happiness or love, as countless poets and musicians have articulated throughout past centuries. Being rich is great, when money is the thing you need to answer questions and solve problems. But when capital isn’t sufficient, a man’s true colors begin to show. And no amount of money could make this interaction any more pleasant.

“Hey buddy, I’ll take the tab. And add 18% please.”

“18%?” I thought. What a low-grade level of compensation for a far above average waiter that makes his bread and butter off of scum like this. I didn’t make enough that night. I don’t know if he was aware of how skimpy the tip actually was. Maybe he just wasn’t paying attention to the numbers. It’s beyond me. All I know is that I got paid less than normal to wait on an extremely high maintenance client full of complaints and extensive lip service. But complements don’t pay the bills. Maybe he meant well. More than likely he didn’t think far enough to give two shits about the severs that went out of their way to cater to him and his entitled group of friends and family. It was his daughters 15th birthday. She came across as 18+ with a lovely frame and a charming smile. I caught several older men giving her a look as she walked into the private dining room. I couldn’t believe it at first. Isn’t it despicable for a middle-aged man to gawk at a girl far below the legal age? Not my place. I’m just a sever. Put the blinders on—professional aura, expertise in every step of service from picking up plates to articulating features, and a “can-do” smile that diffuses tension and makes me appear completely willing to accommodate any request. To my core, I truly am available to fulfill any request. If a guest needs me to venture across the street for a pack of smokes or a small bottle of Advil, I’ll do it without question. I’m that kind of server. But this gentleman (I say that to formalize our interaction, not to commend his character) was impossible to please and made it a point to be difficult. I let it be. Just another night in the business of pleasing clients and tailoring an exquisite dining experience. Then again, the guest has to want that. I can only do so much when the man sitting in the chairs I’ve dusted and positioned precisely around the table wants to complain and bicker about the most tangential details. What can I do? Smile, accommodate each request promptly, and fulfill the role high-profile clients expect of me. Most are complete strangers. But my job doesn’t change due to that. I’m in it for the money and the experience. And on that night, both end goals were severely lacking.

As I walk around the table, surveying empty glasses and dirty plates, clearing away superfluous items, I can’t help but overhear the conversation. The same man I’ve overanalyzed from the first minute I saw him takes lead of the dialogue. What followed was a disturbing back and forth about gender, sexual equality, and current political affairs.

“Most of this shit, all the #metoo stuff...some of these girls, with the way they dress, they’re asking for it. You know what I call a girl dressed all slutty? A pound sign. That’s what I call them. They’re begging to be pounded. That’s what it comes down to.”

The man’s wife looks at him passively, attempting to dismiss the comment, but too apprehensive to call his bluff outright. Lots of cheap laughter and eye-contact evasion follows. The comment was off-putting, at best. Absurdly sexist and hateful, at worst. Whatever his intentions were, they were lost in his crudely expressed viewpoint of the role of women in society and his generic aura of pretension and esotericism. I certainly couldn’t relate to him. I needed only to oblige him. He couldn’t give a damn where I’m from, what I’ve been through, who I claim to be. Why would he? I’m just a glorified butler, here to accommodate his every request.

On nights like this, the waiting game gets old real fast. Feeding the mouths of entitled individuals, selling steaks and wine to the those who could care less about a price point, embracing the role of server and personal assistant in a world dominated by the rich and powerful—it’s all mad, every part. But until the world opens up to me, I’ll do my part, pouring wine, serving cocktails, picking plates up, setting others down, cleaning the table, smiling when a guest asks for my opinion, balancing on the tight rope of the perception of others and the obligation to meet and exceed expectations. It’s a mad science, this waiting game.

[jdcfoodstyle]

Austin, TX

“Hello, welcome to Bob’s. My name is Josiah. I’ll be your server tonight. How’s the night treating you?”

“Fairly well. Look man, I’m a wealthy spoiled kid. But these prices on your wine list aren’t just rape, their molestation. I’m not gonna order wine by the bottle…it’s not your fault.”

“Not a problem sir, what else can I get you?”

“Jack and diet please.”

“Yes sir. Coming right up.”

I walk away from the hosts seat at head of the table towards the computer and order the man his drink. Why would he make such a comment? He’s rich. What does he care? Restaurants make most of their money off of liquor and wine mark ups. He’s a regular. You’d think he know. But I play it off. My job is simple: take care of the guest, regardless of how irrational he or she may be. This guy was the epitome of rich: bootcut faded jeans that reek of the “I buy pricy clothes but don’t give two shits about it” vibe; fancy pointed shoes that didn’t begin to redeem his lack of cohesive dress ware; a colorful button down with wide stripes and off putting shades of orange and brown; spiked thin hair undoubtedly groomed with “touch of gray,” inspired by the “save your hair” bosley mantra; a dark orange skin tone indicative of long hours in tanning beds and the frequent lavish tropical vacation; and to top it off, his dolled-up white teeth hide an unenthusiastic, banal smile that wants to be sincere but couldn’t possibly manage relatability, even given the best of days and a genuine effort. His name was James. From the moment I shook his hand, I despised the man. Everything about my first impression of him was contently stuck in the rich, snobby, egotistical realm. Regardless, I did my job, and he seemed reasonably happy, despite his complaints.

The more I wait on wealthy high profile people, the more disenchanted I become. What do they have to offer that’s acutely better than my arsenal of personal strengths, loves, and giftings? How did they grow into powerful individuals? And why should I give a damn about the particularities of one person's privileged, cushioned life? Throughout my life, I’ve had to work for everything. Food, drink, health, education, transportation, and a fragment of social relevance, all on my own dime. Then again, maybe I’m wrong to judge him. Perhaps he’s entirely self-made and deserves every dollar the ecosystem of western capitalism has afforded him. However, if one man’s wealth speaks louder and more obnoxiously than every other potentially relatable subjective experience, I can’t help but think he’s on on the losing side of the spectrum. Money is great. But money can’t buy a blissful soul. Nor can it purchase happiness or love, as countless poets and musicians have articulated throughout past centuries. Being rich is great, when money is the thing you need to answer questions and solve problems. But when capital isn’t sufficient, a man’s true colors begin to show. And no amount of money could make this interaction any more pleasant.

“Hey buddy, I’ll take the tab. And add 18% please.”

“18%?” I thought. What a low-grade level of compensation for a far above average waiter that makes his bread and butter off of scum like this. I didn’t make enough that night. I don’t know if he was aware of how skimpy the tip actually was. Maybe he just wasn’t paying attention to the numbers. It’s beyond me. All I know is that I got paid less than normal to wait on an extremely high maintenance client full of complaints and extensive lip service. But complements don’t pay the bills. Maybe he meant well. More than likely he didn’t think far enough to give two shits about the servers that went out of their way to cater to him and his entitled group of friends and family. It was his daughter's 15th birthday. She came across as 18+ with a lovely frame and a charming smile. I caught several older men giving her a look as she walked into the private dining room. I couldn’t believe it at first. Isn’t it despicable for a middle-aged man to gawk at a girl far below the legal age? Not my place. I’m just a server. Put the blinders on—professional aura, expertise in every step of service from picking up plates to articulating features, and a “can-do” smile that diffuses tension and makes me appear completely willing to accommodate any request. To my core, I truly am available to fulfill any request. If a guest needs me to venture across the street for a pack of smokes or a small bottle of Advil, I’ll do it without question. I’m that kind of server. But this gentleman (I say that to formalize our interaction, not to commend his character) was impossible to please and made it a point to be difficult. I let it be. Just another night in the business of pleasing clients and tailoring an exquisite dining experience. Then again, the guest has to want that. I can only do so much when the man sitting in the chairs I’ve dusted and positioned precisely around the table wants to complain and bicker about the most tangential details. What can I do? Smile, accommodate each request promptly, and fulfill the role high-profile clients expect of me. Most are complete strangers. But my job doesn’t change due to that. I’m in it for the money and the experience. And on that night, both end goals were severely lacking.

As I walk around the table, surveying empty glasses and dirty plates, clearing away superfluous items, I can’t help but overhear the conversation. The same man I’ve overanalyzed from the first minute I saw him takes lead of the dialogue. What followed was a disturbing back and forth about gender, sexual equality, and current political affairs.

“Most of this shit, all the #metoo stuff…some of these girls, with the way they dress, they’re asking for it. You know what I call a girl dressed all slutty? A pound sign. That’s what I call them. They’re begging to be pounded. That’s what it comes down to.”

The man’s wife looks at him passively, attempting to dismiss the comment, but too apprehensive to call his bluff outright. Lots of cheap laughter and eye-contact evasion follows. The comment was off-putting, at best. Absurdly sexist and hateful, at worst. Whatever his intentions were, they were lost in his crudely expressed viewpoint of the role of women in society and his generic aura of pretension and esotericism. I certainly couldn’t relate to him. I needed only to oblige him. He couldn’t give a damn where I’m from, what I’ve been through, who I claim to be. Why would he? I’m just a glorified butler, here to accommodate his every request.

On nights like this, the waiting game gets old real fast. Feeding the mouths of entitled individuals, selling steaks and wine to the those who could care less about a price point, embracing the role of server and personal assistant in a world dominated by the rich and powerful—it’s all mad, every part. But until the world opens up to me, I’ll do my part, pouring wine, serving cocktails, picking plates up, setting others down, cleaning tables, smiling when a guest asks for my opinion, balancing on the tightrope of the perception of others and the obligation to meet and exceed expectations. It’s a mad science, this waiting game.

[intuitivesoul1]

Past Lives

Recently I have been thinking a lot about past lives: why are they fleeting memories; why we chose to forget them; is there anything significant to learn by them; or are they just a distraction? The question is: I wonder if our past lives assist us to Grow Up towards Love or distract us from living this life because they trigger our fears or possibly overwhelm us? Some people believe that once we have evolved our consciousness to a certain point – our past lives will aid our growth towards Love. I’m doing an interview with Tom Campbell at the end of this month about Virtual Realities and Past Lives as an ongoing series of VR from Tom’s perspective. And therefore this brings me to contemplating people, places, and situations that we encounter and these in turn trigger feelings encouraged by past lives.

So do our past lives assist us with this life? We are here to grow and the Larger Consciousness System (Tom’s explanation of Source, Akashic Records, or God from a scientific perspective) is here to assist us. Clearly there is a reason we chose to forget our past lives and there is no way to prove whether our glimpses into a past life is really ours or if we are connecting in with the LCS or Akasic Records and downloading information from another life whether ours or someone else’s. From the perspective of Growth it could be argued both ways that either remembering or forgetting our Past Lives could help us grow. However, if we have numerous lives – thousands – would it benefit us to remember? Especially considering the fear we have accumulated from these past lives because the Earth wasn’t as evolved and only recently have we moved to a place where there is enough Love to make a difference on our planet.

Often I see the exploration of Past Lives to be a distraction. We can get so caught up in these glimpses into the past – whether significant or not – that they just distract us from our work here. For example if we connected into a life where we were important and had a name we could now research and discover who we were does this help or does it hinder us by focusing on something that creates more fear rather than love? We all want to believe we have been significant and notable in the past especially if we don’t feel we are making a difference in this life. This is all wrapped around our purpose: we are here to make a difference and to grow up towards Love. If we feel like we have lost our purpose or if we have become stuck then we don’t feel worthy and loveable. Could this be the problem? This feeling of being unworthy and unlovable creates fear instead of helping us grow towards love and we become depressed rather than thriving so we look for ways to feel better and put energy into our past. I think one of the biggest problems is that we put our focus into areas that distract us from feeling uncomfortable. This is where knowing about Past Lives becomes a distraction.

Sometimes we just need to understand what is happening to us now and uncover the fears that hold us back from living our best life.

So we become a society that encourages the analyzing of everything. We focus on what is wrong and I believe when we shift our focus to a past life we may come up with reasons why we are where we are now. However, is discovering these reasons important? My feeling is that whatever fear we are working through in this life – core fears we have chosen to work through – we have everything we need in this life to assist us to grow. So does the source of the fear matter? Is it also distracting us even more by over-analyzing everything that has ever happened to us and is that just keeping us in our head instead of our hearts?

What would be the benefit of remembering a past life? I guess if we could remember every life – at least on this planet – we could remember all of our mistakes and hopefully make better choices. We could use the fears we have had the courage to face and use that to assist us to have courage to face the fears we have chosen for this life. And if we evolved significantly in a past life it might assist us to remember how to do it in this life too. It would likely help us make better choices in relationships – but then what about the people who are determined to grow up and who have interfered in our past lives and hurt us – would that make us just hesitate to become involved again? And if so would that be detrimental to those in our past lives if we automatically refused to entertain a relationship with them?

  This is where we can become confused. I know it is exciting to uncover our past lives – although we can often be so distracted by them to the detriment of this life. And how do we know if these past lives are actually our past lives or what the LCS or Akashic Records have shown us to assist us to grow? And for that matter does it even matter? Is there a difference between actually living the life ourselves or connecting into a life where we can grow from?

So the question then becomes what is the reason for our past lives? Taking this from Tom Campbell’s perspective we are here to Grow Up and each life is like a Sims game that helps us continue to evolve towards Love. We forget the game rules each life and we can’t really use what we learned before because we have forgotten what we learned each life – but we continue to evolve because this is what we are here to do. The lessons we have learned don’t need to be repeated because we have faced them and evolved from them. Then there are lessons that we continue to have because we haven’t faced these fears yet. These are likely what we chose this exact life to do – overcome a fear we have yet to face. Do we need the source of this fear to help us or is it just a distraction when we continue to overanalyze it? Does it become just a head game or can we have courage from our heart to grow up into Love?

I think as long as we continue to move forward and Grow Up that is the only thing that matters. Along our journey, we are bound to connect with people, places, and situations from past lives that trigger memories or glimpses into those lives. Sometimes they are wonderful people and memories and we feel a deep connection that embraces our Heart and allows us to remember “home”. These are the ways we hold Hope, Love and Acceptance in our Hearts. So maybe this is exactly why we have forgotten who we have been because when we do catch those brief memories and encounters it creates a beautiful experience to remind us of Love! And that is all that we really need to experience the Joy of Growing Up.

If you want to explore a Past Life and your connection to it & what it is teaching you… Get a Session with me today.

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Distractions, Journey, Larger Consciousness System, Laurie Huston, Love and Acceptance, Love over Fear, Past Lives, Relationships, Tom Campbell, Virtual Reality. Bookmark the permalink.

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A Career Q&A With Amelia, Man Repeller’s Head of Creative

http://fashion-trendin.com/a-career-qa-with-amelia-man-repellers-head-of-creative/

A Career Q&A With Amelia, Man Repeller’s Head of Creative

Whether you want to be a scientist, a stylist, a writer, a professional juggler or you have no idea yet, there’s something cathartic in hearing about the multitude of winding paths. That’s why Man Repeller is launching a new series wherein various team members answer your career questions — anything from how they got to where they are to what they wish they’d done differently or what they still hope to do one day. There’s always a lesson to be learned somewhere, a helpful takeaway (even if it occurs to you later), or at the very least, relief in knowing that it’s more than okay if you’re still figuring it out. First up, Amelia Diamond, Head of Creative. Below, she answers nine of the questions recently posed to her on Instagram.

What did you major in in college and did you do any internships?

I was a journalism/mass communication major at Saint Bonaventure University with a minor in visual arts. I loved it but, ironically, by the time I graduated I wanted nothing to do with writing.

I had four internships: One at StyleCaster.com, which I found out about through a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend. I went in as a fashion intern (with no prior experience, which was fine given the initial responsibilities), then switched over to the editorial team, and eventually transitioned onto business development team (and worked on music sourcing and licensing). It’s worth noting that to request a department switch at an internship is murky territory, but you are there to learn, so if you find yourself curious or more interested in another department, talk to your intern manager about other areas where you could be of help on top of your prior commitments. Use your best judgement in terms of what feels appropriate.

I also interned simultaneously at Shumaq, a small clothing label, through that same friend-of-a-friend connection.

I later interned at a fashion PR company Black Frame, which I applied to via Ed2010.com, and got the internship because the hiring manager found my “background” in music interesting; I was editor-in-chief of my school’s campus radio “zine,” and one of my responsibilities at StyleCaster was to secure songs for the website’s videos. Goes to show that you just never know what’s useful on your resume, you don’t have to have identical resumes to everyone you’re ostensibly competing against, and there’s always a way to spin what you’ve learned into useful application for something entirely different.

Finally, I interned at Vogue. I was a fashion assistant first, then became a fashion market intern where I learned about the fashion logistics of photoshoots, which ended up helping me greatly in my first full time job in PR. I got to Vogue thanks to a recommendation made by a former boss at Black Frame. Best way to do this: be open and communicative with your manager about your intended trajectory, goals and end dates so that you don’t catch anyone by surprise. This helps establish the inevitable future conversation where you ask for recommendations and support in your next steps.

I was very, very lucky that my parents supported me through these unpaid internships. One day I would like to repay my parents by buying my dad a pool and my mom a fancy trip to Italy. And a pet lamb.

Was this the career path you expected/had in mind in college? If not, could you explain the journey of getting to where you are now?

No. I wanted to go into advertising for a while, and was very sick of writing by the time I graduated. Also, you should know that I graduated without a job and was terrified. I felt like I was floundering, like I’d never figure it out, like I wasn’t good enough. I was embarrassed to talk to friends who’d started working right away.

If you’re in the same boat, repeat this over and over: There is NO one right path, and while “things happen for a reason” (my favorite thing to say even though it’s admittedly much easier to tell others than myself), you have to seek out opportunities like a truffle pig, be open to the weird openings, and have really honest talks with yourself, constantly, about where you are, where you want to be, and why you want to be in those places. Your first internship does not have to have a fancy name attached it. Your first job does not have to be your dream job. You do not have to make Forbes 30 Under 30, ever.

My first two jobs (the first of which I finally landed thanks to a former boss at Vogue who recommended me) were in public relations, and they were crucial in terms of “fashion world” experience, time-logging within the industry, and contact building. They also taught me that I did not want to do PR!

…And that I was starting to feel the writing bug again.

From there I went to New York Magazine where I sort of had three jobs at once: I was the fashion market assistant, the fashion editor of the twice-yearly New York Weddings, which included styling the cover story — a rare opportunity for sure — and a sometimes-contributor to The Cut where I put together small fashion market stories. The bits of copy I got to do for these reminded me just how “at home” I felt while writing, but the caliber of talent at New York Magazine and The Cut intimidated me to no end. I had zero idea how anyone generated ideas all the time like they did there, and I thought it laughable that I could write anything worth publishing, so I mostly kept quiet about my growing writing aspirations. It was like having a secret talent that you suspect might not actually be that impressive, but really wanting someone to dare you to perform it.

That someone ended up being Leandra. She and I were friends before I started working at Man Repeller, and she brought me on (alongside Charlotte Fassler and Kate Barnett) as the first full-time writer besides her. Here I am, five years later.

Do you feel like a “grown-up” yet? What does it mean to you to feel like an adult? Is it important to you?

Absolutely not, although I have grown up considerably. I had two wild growth spurts as a human: 22 to 26, and 27 to 29. Both of those two chunks feel like different people from the person I am currently typing this at age 30.

Feeling like an adult, to me, means “have your shit together.” Some days I do, most weeks I don’t. Yes, it’s important to me, and I compare myself to others constantly. It can be torturous or motivating depending on the hour.

What do you do when you get writer’s block?

I had the worst bout of writer’s block I’ve had in a while last week, and I’m still in the middle of it. It’s not only infuriating, it can have a terrible effect on your confidence, concentration and mood. The first thing you have to do is ask someone you love to remind you that this is a phase, that it will go away — and that it will return again in the future! But that that’s okay, because it’s part of the process. You have to “forgive yourself,” put in quotes because that sentence makes me feel like Dr. Phil.

You also have to push through it. If you’re on deadline for work, write an outline of what you are trying to say, with a thesis, supporting points, and a conclusion — just like in school. Then fill in the blanks and ask a trusted editor to read. It won’t be your best thing you’ve ever written, but at least you got it off your desk. Pretending you’re texting or emailing a friend is another way out of it because it helps you just SAY WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY when your brain is like: Let’s overthink and overanalyze this.

If you’re blocked on a personal project, write what actually is in your head, even if it’s, “There is nothing in my head. This is stupid. Why am I writing this.” Keep going. Keep going, still! You’ll get something. I learned that trick from The Artist’s Way, which I highly recommend to literally every human on this planet, regardless of creative aspirations.

What is your go-to snack in the MR headquarters?

I usually want something chocolate, but wind up eating whatever free/for-all thing is on the kitchen counter. However, you have to be careful at Man Repeller that you are not accidentally eating a prop before it’s been shot!

When I work from home, I eat a lot of Bagel Chips and peanut M&Ms. Pad Thai as I write this.

How did you learn to have confidence in yourself (your ideas, your decisions, etc.) at work? 

Cheesy answer: I am lucky in that I’m surrounded by people at work and outside work who encourage my ideas and support my decisions. They also challenge me to think about my ideas and decisions in a way that helps me grow and learn.

But also: I have a habit of focusing on the one bad thing (where work is concerned, but also in life!) rather than all the good stuff that happened, all the accomplishments and successes that accumulate over time and are easy to forget. So when I am really down or freaking out or convinced that any moment now, someone will realize they made a massive mistake in hiring me to do XYZ, I try to imagine that am a proud parent…of myself, and I brag to myself about myself. Sometimes I do this in my head, sometimes I write it down, sometimes out loud if I am sure I’m alone.

Also, weird thing to say, but a paycheck helps: no one gives money away out of the goodness of their heart. They pay you because they need your skillset. If you’re not feeling confident about what you’re accomplishing, talk to your manager, because she might have some encouraging words/solutions, then remind yourself that someone is paying you for your skills, that you learned, that you’re able to perform.

How does a young writer get their first byline? Tips for pitching stories to editors?

There were a lot of questions in this vein, and there’s no one “right answer” because there’s a million ways to go about this depending on where you’re pitching, but a short version:

Make a website for yourself. Compile all your published links, if you have them, organized by category: Personal Essay, Reporting, Beauty, etc.

Now, whether or not you’ve been published already, this is important: Upload two to three (to start) clips that adequately show your voice and your technical writing skills — no matter if you wrote them for yourself and no one else. I would rather read something unpublished that gives me a sense of your style and technique than something published but indistinguishable from another writer. Make it clear these are your most “you.”

When you’re pitching stories to editors:

– Email the proper editor. Pitching a culture story? Figure out who the culture editor is and email her directly. – Keep the email short, your pitch clear and well-thought out. – When pitching, think about: Who am I pitching to (is my pitch relevant to this publication, to this editor?) What is the story I will tell, and what’s my point? Why does this story need to be told? How will I tell it, and in how many estimated words? (Will this be reported out, written as a personal narrative?) When can I have it in by? – Link out to two clips in the email that are most relevant to the publication, the editor, and the story you’re pitching. – This is cliché, but despite rejections, keep pitching! Reach out to all sorts of publications until you get your first yes, and then, keep going.

What’s the best career advice you’ve taken?

Best career advice (although I wouldn’t say this applies to a first or second job): Look at your boss, and your boss’s boss. Do you want their jobs? If so, that’s a good thing. If there’s no way in hell you’d want their careers in a few years, then start thinking about the person who does have an appealing job or career to you, and begin researching what she did to get there. Then figure out how to apply that to your life/current situation. Take your vacation days and your sick days. And always ask for help!

Ketchup or mustard?

Mayonnaise! But preferably ketchup, mayo, a mix of the two, and spicy mustard if available.

Photo by Simon Chetrit.

[nealferrer059-blog]

10 Points That Clear Performance Criteria Tell Your Workers Regarding You.

The requirement from privacy examination, stemmed off Katz v. USA is actually a vital part of Fourth Modification evaluation. If you do not understand specifically just what they are on your own, this is actually rather hard to construct equally very clear requirements with others. The third home states that the mathematical requirement of the item of a continual and also the feature from a random variable is equal to the product of the continual as well as the mathematical desire of the function of that arbitrary variable delivered that their algebraic expectation exists. Their excellences ought to be actually subjected to top management as well as acknowledged throughout the provider. One concern exposed through Kamide's practice is whether listeners combined their previous assumptions along with the speaker-specific syntactic statistics they obtained during the exposure phase or whether they merely learned to connect (probably even categorically) each sound speaker's representation with a particular structure. So you must have higher requirements from on your own as you proceed via your profession in purchases or even leasing. Exactly what we should know is the best ways to endure the gap or deal in between the requirement and also truth. That is actually also crucial for you to remind your own self that she most likely will not satisfy those desires wonderfully and also you shouldn't anticipate her to. Recognizing this to yourself performs pair of factors. We've been overwhelmed along with desires from failure in addiction therapy and recovery. 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