#however i encourage anyone and everyone to send at least one of these kinds of messages to anyone you want. anon or not

[awesamforehead]

🌼

-🎃

[nobrashfestivity]

Everyone Hates Poetry 2024

Rules

Write a poem before Feb.5th and submit it to me with the submit feature or in an ask.

Poems should be less than 500 words

You can use your real name or your blog name but they can't be completely anonymous.

Poems will be published at 9pm on Wednesdays and then a link to each poem will be added to the bottom of this pinned post so people can read them all.

I can't stop anyone from reblogging their own poems and generally sharing art is a wonderful thing, but don't turn it into some kind of social media campaign. because people with a small number of followers would be at a disadvantage. This is supposed to be fun. Please do reblog this post and tag people if you think you know someone on tumblr that might be interested. Since the post will contain links to the submissions, your poem will not be lost in the shuffle.

If I receive less than 10 entries I'll cancel the contest and consider it a failed experiment.

Public voting will begin after the 5th.and account for 50% of the vote

A panel of judges will also vote but will not submit poems themselves, and their votes will make up the other 50% of the final tally.

.There will be small prizes for the winner and runner up.

This is my art blog and will remain so, as it always has been. I'm doing this because poets here don't get much chance to get their stuff read and I have a fair number of followers. It's just a little thing to do if you want. I'm not turning this into a poetry blog or a contest blog or anything else.

Poems don't need to be finished. Due to the one month time frame I would suspect these would be first drafts, but please write something new. I want to encourage people to do something now, however imperfect, rather than showing work that's already done.

Updates will follow. Thank you!

Rule clarifications

-Please dont send poems anonymously if at all possible. I am happy to include a name that doesn't identify your blog directly but it's impossible to refer to or contact people who submit poems anonymously. I can't have anonymous poems considered without at least a name for you and if you were to win a prize, you'd need a name and address to claim it. I don't so much care about the latter part, that's for you, this becomes very disorganized and hard to regulate with anonymous messages floating in.

-Please put the title of your poem above it. If it is below it, I have no way of distinguishing with certainty if it's a title or a last line.

One poem per person please.

if you do not wish to see the poetry contest entries just filter the tag "everyone hates poetry 2024"

Due to the very high volume of submissions I am blogging them more gradually as to give more attention to each one. The same tag, "everyone hates poetry 2024", that you can filter if you do not want to see these can be used to find the submissions. If you follow this tag you'll get them all.

Please note that I am now publishing these as asks, previously I had to retype to keep the formatting and there are simply too many entries

Submissions are now closed, I will be publishing submissions all week and then when all have been posted we will start the voting (stay tuned as to how and when)

[charlottesbookclub]

hiii ! 😘 💐 🥂 for hux? if that’s too many you can just pick one no worries !!! i love love love your work <33

send me a headcanon request 🥰

hello my dear! ☺️ no worries at all – that's definitely not too many! in fact I'm very excited to do them! ☺️💕 and thank you so so so much for your super sweet words! 🥰🥰 I genuinely am so touched that you enjoy my work that much! 🥹🥹🥰🥰 I hope you enjoy these headcanons as well! ☺️💖

putting them below the cut because they got long (whoops!), but under the "read more" are:

what would they look for in an s/o?

would they give their s/o gifts? if so, what kind?

what are dates with them like?

for Armitage Hux!

General Armitage Hux

😘 – what would they look for in an s/o?

I think Hux would look for two conflicting things in an s/o: ambition/drive and the ability to relax and not take things too seriously. on one hand, I think he does really need someone who can match his energy. his whole life is about working in dogged pursuit of his goals, and I think he would find it hard to relate to someone who didn't share that sense of drive, at least to some extent. I don't think they would have to be in the same field as him (in fact, it's probably better if they're not so that no competition emerges), but I do think that Hux would look for someone who takes their goals seriously and has a lot of passion for their work

on the other hand, I think he also needs someone to temper that impulse in him. everyone around him expects something of him, and his work is constantly under scrutiny. it would be nice for him to have someone who he didn't have to perform around, someone who would encourage him to take a breath and just be for a moment. so I guess what he really needs is someone with perspective; someone who can appreciate and empathize with his ambition, but also remind him that there's more to life than constant work

💐 – would they give their s/o gifts? if so, what kind?

again, I think Hux would be of two minds in this regard. on the one hand, he grew up in the imperial remnant where supplies were hard to come by, and I think that instilled in him a sense of austerity and distaste for clutter and wastefulness. in that sense, he certainly wouldn't be giving "useless" gifts, like things that would just sit and collect dust. even for sentimental things, I think it would be hard for him to overcome that idea that everything needs to have a functional purpose. he might make a couple of exceptions for really meaningful things though

on the other hand..... whooooo boy does this man have self-esteem issues! he finds it so hard to believe that anyone would be with him just to be with him. he projects this ultra-confident facade, but inside he is so insecure. one way for him to make up for that would be by giving his s/o things that he thinks might make it "worth it" for them to be with him. they're still mostly functional (often expensive) things, but he does put care and thought into selecting them. as the relationship progressed and his s/o was able to convince him that they weren't with him as some sort of transactional exchange, I could see him getting more comfortable giving more sentimental, meaningful gifts. even once he got past that insecurity, expressing his feelings verbally is still hard for him, so giving gifts is a nice way for him to show his affection without having to be too vulnerable

🥂 – what are dates with them like?

first, they are few and far between 😅 at least if we're talking in terms of "formal dates." Hux is a busy man and he just doesn't have a lot of time for things like dates, even if he would like to. however, "informal" dates, like having a quick meal together in the privacy of his quarters or just working together in a private space, are much more frequent. Hux definitely feels guilty about not having more time to spend with his s/o, so when he makes the time for a formal date, he goes all out

they usually happen planetside, since first order ships don't exactly scream "romance" lmao. Hux will book an expensive restaurant and reserve a speciality table (usually on a balcony or by a window looking out over the planet). afterwards, he'll have gotten tickets to some kind of fancy entertainment (whatever that particular planet specializes in, usually something adjacent to opera or theatre or ballet). then the night will end in a suite at the nicest hotel the planet has to offer, and both Hux and his s/o can enjoy a night away from the pressures of the first order

if his s/o is the kind of person who prefers "quirky" dates (like whatever the star wars equivalent of going to a farmer's market or playing mini golf is), he might be able to get on board with it, just because his s/o enjoys it. however, those kinds of more free-form, sometimes silly outings are much more foreign to him, and he's a lot more comfortable in more "formal" dates. however, no matter what he does with his s/o, he always tries to make it a time to show them how much he love and appreciates them 💖

[marveloustimestwo]

Hiii! Can I request headcanons with the Guardians? Peter is in love with Y/N and the rest of the guardians fall for her platonically

Hello! I think this is the first time I've written anything for the Guardians, so thanks for sending this in!

Warnings: Yandere themes, mentions of kidnapping

When the Guardians first met you, none of them were really trying to get attached to you in any fashion. They're already a tight family, and their profession wouldn't allow them to bring in anyone unless absolutely needed.

And that's really all you were at first. Someone they needed to get a job done. Someone who happened to have some type of information or gadget that was important.

All they were planning to do was get whatever they needed from you, pay you, and then part ways. But before anyone could anticipate it, you quickly get dragged into their mess before that could happen.

At first, they feel pretty bad about it, to be honest. They're aware of how much stupid and dangerous stuff they do. Involving an innocent person was never what they wanted.

But as this certain stupid and dangerous situation goes on, the more reason they see to keep you with them.

Technically, now that you've been seen with them, there will be people who really don't like the Guardians who might come after you if you're left alone.

At least, that's the excuse they give to you and themselves as to why they want to keep you with them.

The only ones I think would be even semi-aware would be Gamora, Nebula, and Kraglin.

Gamora's always been calmer and more reasonable than the others. I think she'd feel guilty for dragging you into all this, but the further things go, the more she wants to make sure you're safe, especially if you can't fight.

Nebula, especially earlier in the series, would find it so difficult to get attached. She only just started seeing the Guardians as family, so adding a new person to the mix that seems to have them all going crazy? Yeah, she's going to be a bit skeptical.

Either she's going to be your saving grace or your worst nightmare. Since she takes so long to grow obsessed, I can see her spotting how unhealthy the Guardians are with you and just finding a way out for you. A kindness that ends up having everyone on a manhunt to find you.

But if she falls down that obsessive rabbit hole before that, she will struggle with it a lot. Again, she's barely gotten to the point of accepting Gamora as her sister and the Guardians as a family, so becoming attached to you has her being very mean to you at first.

She'll get better, though, and will be just as protective as Gamora.

Kraglin would likely just try to sidestep this entire ordeal. He can see how protective the others are and sympathizes with you, but is not about to go toe to toe with them. He'll just try to make your stay a bit better.

The rest of them will be completely delusional. Peter and Drax especially.

When Peter starts liking you, he'll end up falling hardcore. With the others' encouragement, he will never see what's wrong about how much he feels for you.

He does start out pretty normal. He sees you, he likes you, so he starts flirting with you.

However, if you take a while to respond to this, or flat out don't respond at all, this will only make Peter fall harder. He tends to like people who play hard to get.

The further his obsession develops, the more delusional he'll get, especially if you've rejected him. He'll just see it as you being stubborn or playing a little game.

When Drax starts to see you as a little sibling, there's no stopping him from fully committing to that feeling. He's lost his entire family, so there's nothing he wouldn't do to protect you.

And if you fight a bit, well, he'll just think of it as something akin to an emotional outburst. He never takes your emotions very seriously if they're hostile to him.

And Mantis, as sweet as she is, doesn't really have a good grasp on what's normal. All she had was Ego until she met the Guardians, so as far as she's aware, what's happening to you is fine.

Sure, you may fight sometimes, but she can help with that. She helped Ego get to sleep when he was upset all the time.

And last but not least, Rocket and Groot.

Rocket, strangely enough, would take on the role of an older brother pretty easily. He wouldn't ever admit it, but he finds taking care of you pretty fun, even though he acts like an ass about it.

He's not really delusional, but like Drax, he never takes any of your negative outbursts seriously. He just sees it as you acting immature.

They protect you, they feed you, and Peter even has this stupid puppy dog crush on you that Rocket can make fun of. What more can you want.

And Groot is a lot like Mantis. He'll likely grow up seeing how the others act with you and see it as completely normal. While he may not be as obsessive as the others, he'll do his part in what he believes is protecting you.

This means if you haven't accepted things and are actively being held captive, Groot is kind of the go-to for standing guard so you don't escape.

It really hurts him when you fight or yell at him. He sees you as an older sibling and even a parent. He hates it when you're angry at him, but he can't understand why.

Everyone else always tells him that this is okay, that you belong with them and need to be protected. So why do you seem so sad?

[ninetailedfoxmanchi]

HOTD Reaction: Their s/o is shy

Warnings: some implications of violence but mostly fluff

A/N: Okay, so this is a little bit different. Please let me know if it's any good or should I stick more to one shots. Thank you <3 Also, feel free to send in suggestions!

HOTD AND GOT MASTERLIST

Daemon

Daemon would definitely be amused if his s/o had a shy personality. A part of him would want to tease you, another would want to protect you at all costs

He enjoys making you blush and stutter. I also think he would use his touch (physical touch is definitely his love language) a lot to see goose bumps appear on your skin and to see the blush creep to your cheeks

But should anyone else even try to put you in a similar situation, be sure he would not spare himself of using Dark Sister to make people who made you upset wish they had never been born

Aemond

Aemond would love you so much, there is no doubt about it

He would be so gentle and kind to you, so tentative at all times. He would always ask if you were comfortable and happy because he'd know you would never say it yourself

Aemond would get you out of any uncomfortable situation, no questions asked. He is like your personal shield, especially when you are in a crowd, he makes sure you are by his side

But when the two of you were alone and you felt comfortable with Aemond, you could speak for hours on end and it would make him beam with pride that he is the only one with whom you feel this relaxed

Aegon

At first, I feel Aegon would feel somewhat insecure in your company as well but just because he would not want to hurt you should you feel uncomfortable on the account of his much different personality

But once he'd realize his closeness brings you comfort, he would encourage you and help you to get out of your shell more; at least when you're with him

The thing about Aegon is that if he actually, truly cares about you, he will want to learn everything about you no matter how long it takes. He is surprisingly patient towards the people he loves and feels himself around

Jacaerys (Jace)

I think Jace would be an absolute sweetheart about it. A bit like Daemon, he would gently tease you and make fun but never so much that he'd actually hurt your feelings

It would definitely make his heart skip a beat whenever he'd see you blush

But god forbid anyone makes you feel uncomfortable for it; he will come for them without any hesitation. I imagine Jace not only being a good lover to his s/o but also a great friend. So whilst he would enjoy teasing you gently, he would never let anyone take advantage of you based on your shy personality. I think we've all seen him more than capable of standing up for himself and his loved ones and it is no different with you

Harwin Strong

Everyone knows how protective Ser Harwin Strong is but with you, he would be extremely careful

If anyone made you uncomfortable and you'd be too shy to fight back, Harwin will be there to protect you no doubt about it. Just his massive frame appearing behind you, would make anyone bow down in remorse

He himself would also be very careful and gentle around you, at least until you'd get comfortable enough with him to let your walls down.

But even then, with your head on his chest, if he stole a kiss from you unexpectedly and you would blush, his heart would fill with warmth. Nevertheless, if sometimes you took him by surprise and kissed him back, this mysterious, unpredictable part of you would make every part of his body burn with desire

Criston Cole

Criston would enjoy being there for you as your protector and he would find your shy and reserved personality extremely endearing because it is much like he used to be before he became a knight and a warrior

He'd try to get you out of your comfort zone in the gentlest ways like asking you to take a stroll around the gardens of the Red Keep, to go riding with him or accompany him to the beautiful markets of King's Landing

However, if anyone in the crowd made you feel uncomfortable, he would take your hand and guide you behind his back before dealing with the person that invaded your personal space, or god forbid, disrespected you

Ser Criston would love to feel your hands against his chest as you'd try to calm down the situation. Just one look at your eyes and your flushed cheeks and he would do anything you asked

[mollyringle]

In which I have had it with disingenuous advice lauding rugged individualism

We often hear that if you truly and deeply want to create something—writing, music, visual arts, a company, an invention, etc.—you will find a way to do it. You’ll squeeze out the time between your other obligations; the muse and the passion will help you along, and you will succeed! I have said things like this myself in the past, meaning to be inspirational and encouraging, as people generally intend to be when they say such things. But as I’ve gotten older and met more kinds of people and looked honestly at society, particularly here in the US, it has become painfully clear that the above is an incomplete story.

The whole truth has to include this part too:

There are many people whose wonderful creations we haven’t yet seen, and might never see, because these people are not getting enough support in terms of basic needs: health, finances, family, safety, access. For reasons beyond their control—expensive chronic health problems, disabilities, neurodiversity, families who cannot or will not help them, unstable housing situations, and more—they cannot merely grab the muse’s hand and be pulled along a prolifically creative path to success. Their vision may be exactly as wondrous and world-changing as anyone else’s, but we might never know, because circumstances block them from bringing it to fruition.

We don’t hear enough about these people. Given the way social media and news are designed, we hear frequently and voluminously from successful people with vast platforms, and next to nothing from those who fell through the cracks.

I don’t know of any easy solution. All the solutions need to be huge and systemic, and they go against the stubbornly individualistic American mindset that we cannot seem to shake (a problem shared by many other countries too).

But those of us who have at least enough daily stability, peace, health, and support to have struggled through our own issues and created something should pause and realize that, although our own struggles were indeed hard, other people’s are truly insurmountable, the way things stand. It’s disingenuous to claim, “Well, I managed it despite all these hardships, so anyone should be able to,” because in truth, we didn’t do it alone. It’s almost a certainty that we had someone willing to give us employment. Friends or relatives willing to help us now and then. People providing medical care for us. People keeping our utilities running smoothly. People interested enough in our idea that they contributed helpful feedback and even money. People who told others about us and boosted us up.

No one accomplishes feats of creation entirely by themselves from start to finish. It is one hundred percent a myth. Yet the “you can do anything,” “follow your dreams,” “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality continues to thrive and is still viewed as a fully workable plan. It is, I have come to believe, one of the most damaging and pernicious myths in our culture.

Dreams and creativity are vital, and yes, they are also personal and individual, and everyone deserves to be free to pursue them. For that to happen, however, our societies need to support everyone at a basic health and safety level. Everyone.

Vote accordingly. It’s all anyone can currently do. But in the meantime, look around at everything that has gone well in your life, all the tools and resources that have helped you get where you are, and recognize the often-invisible fellow humans behind each of those steps and each of those items. Send those folks a bit of gratitude, and try to turn your habitual thinking toward the realization that you are not alone—not a rugged pioneer, no matter what the American Dream has told you—and that no one else ought to feel alone either.

And I will keep saying it in short form and long till the end of my days: talk up the small creators you run across, those who actually need word-of-mouth hype. The big names are doing just fine without you posting about them. Give some bandwidth to those for whom a praise post would make their day and possibly even boost their finances.

[unlimitedtrees]

a build from mid 2015 of my old game 'Mr. Waffle Lover', and why everyone should archive their work

hello. this is gonna be a quick little post to talk about something. as you might already know. i've been making games since 2014. one of my Very First projects was a game called 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to talk about it, but i want to save that for later. For now, i have something else i need to talk about.

So. this project was/is pretty important to me. it was one of the first things i made Ever, before i was even called 'Unlimited Trees' and before i was involved in Any online communities. i was learning A Lot from making it... a lot of the stuff i did for it is Unrecognizable from my current work.. and i havent made anything like it since. it means a lot to me, at least now.

Back Then, However... i did not treasure my work as i did now. You See, this game went through TONS of iterations. from 2014 to 2017, this game went through many changes across Multiple different project files, all with different assets and programming. during the early days, when i gave up on one iteration of the project, i would simply Delete the old files off my computer. And Then, at the beginning of 2016 when i changed my username to 'Unlimited Trees', i deleted ALL of my old work.

TONS of old games ive made were lost. some of the Very First works ive done Ever are completely missing. years of work went down the drain because i wanted to move on from my old work. But as time passed.. i became more fond of my old work, but realized that i could Never see any of it again. and since i never shared any of it to anyone outside of a few old friends (who i dont even have contact with anymore), there was no way i could get any of it back.

But. about over a year ago or so, i went through my old laptop and was able to find a bunch of old files with quite a few of my old games... some of these files werent the latest builds of these games so there was still a lot missing, but i was So Glad i found them... i have So Much i want to share and talk about and im happy i can share at least a little bit of the work ive done alone for years. even if no one cares about some dumb old games, im at least happy i dont have to worry about losing them again..

ANYWAYS. about this build of 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. it is the fourth iteration of the game. it has ideas which no other iteration has done (mainly the 'TNT' jumps). it has art and levels which i kind of like compared to the other early iterations. and it actually Plays Kind of Good , even if it is a little janky and basic. unlike most versions of the game, i actually remember sending builds of this to old friends, but i dont know if they ever played it or even still have it (i doubt they do Lol).

there's a lot more i could probably say about this, but i dont have the energy right now and will probably talk about it later in another post about 'Mr. Waffle Lover'. i have a Lot to share about it... just now is not the time. the video i posted speaks for itself, i think. its just a simple platformer with a basic OC. theres some stuff that wasnt shown in the video, such as an unfinished boss fight. but aside from that, thats all there is to see.

anyways, the point of this post is that i want to encourage more people to archive their work and not do what i did and delete all your stuff. even if in the moment you dont think your stuff is important.. you should at least keep your stuff saved in case you ever want to look back at it. Especially if youve been making things for Years... you might want to see just how much youve grown.. thats how i feel anyways. i am still missing a ton of work that ive made.. and ive since tried to archive everything i make. ive been making games for 8 years, and i put a Lot of time into the stuff ive made.. i never want to throw out any of my work again.

thats all i have to say for now i think. By The Way, the source code for this build of the game can be found here. just in case u want to give it a look. And By The Way, it's in my pinned post, but i have a few google drive folders full of All of my old projects, including everything i have from Waffle Lover (or 'Project Waffle', as it's called). i plan on moving more stuff onto github and making more posts about it.. but for now u can look thru it if u like

[kyovtani]

𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 – 𝐤𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 (𝟐)

— pairing: Kyoutani Kentarou x female Reader

— genre: smut, angst, little bit of fluff to keep the balance; tattoo artist!kyoutani, inexperienced!reader, strangers to lovers!AU, SLOW BURN

— word count: 9.6k

— warnings: swearing, mentions of infidelity and violence, as well as the consumption of drugs and alcohol; smut: corruption kink, degradation and dumbification, dacryphilia, praising, spitting, (soft) dom!kyou, oral (m. receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex (dont do that kids), impreg kink, iwaoi say hi-

— (A/N: and here’s part two! thank you SO much for all the love you sent my way after i published the first part. ngl i was a little nervous bc i thought it was boring and not interesting at all but you guys easily pushed me out of that hole so thank you for everything. i love and appreciate you with my whole heart. all the love, zade xx)

[ part one ]

— summary: after fucking up, you make it your mission to get him back..(im so bad at this pls just- okay.)

"He's not picking up, Hana", you say, another soft cry falling from your lips before you bury your face in your pillow.

“Once in my fucking life a guy treats me good and the way I've always wanted to be treated and I had to fuck it up. Why the fuck am I like this, Hana? Why can I not enjoy one fucking good thing in my fucking mediocre life", the profanities keep coming just like the tears and the amount of frustration and anger rushing through your veins is nowhere near normal anymore.

"Calm down, love", Hana sighs and makes you sit up so she can look into your tear stained face as she tries her best to make sure her words actually find their way to your pain clouded mind, "at this point you shouldn't worry too much because you do know Kyoutani, don't you? He does lose his temper a lot, so give him the time he needs and then you'll show up at his doorstep, suck his cock and make up with him, yeah?", she explains calmly.

"If this hurts you so much, why the fuck did you even say he's just a friend, Y/N? I really don't understand", Hana mumbles and lets out another sigh, her hands caressing yours softly, managing to calm you down a little bit.

“You're right, I should just– give him some time and things will eventually fall into place", you reply after crying a little more and with an encouraging smile your best friend nods at you before she suggests a movie marathon to which you happily agree.

At least something to distract you from all the demons inside your head.

After changing into your pj's and doing your night time routine, you plop down onto the couch next to your bestie again, her eyes focused on the phone in her hand and knowing she's probably either sexting or inviting her new boyfriend has you shrugging at her lack of attention as you start looking for a good movie to begin the night with.

However, just when you're about to read the description of some kind of french rom-com, Hana puts her phone back into her lap and starts staring at you with her pretty eyes widened in shock.

"What's wrong?", you ask and turn to look at her, reaching for her hands but before you even get the chance to touch her, Hana unlocks her phone and holds it up for you to watch someone's instagram story.

The video begins with loud music, a crowd full of young college students whose faces definitely are familiar.

Everyone in the video is dancing, making out, smoking and just chatting in a random living room and every now and then there's someone yelling in the back – a typical college party.

However, just as the video is about to end, the camera shifts to a tall male leaning against the wall, obviously standing really close to the person who's filming and it takes you a full blown thirty seconds to realize who said male is.

Kyoutani Kentarou.

You stare at the phone for another minute, your throat dry and your head empty as a thick veil of tears slowly starts blurring your sight before you finally decide to pay attention to the username.

"He can't be fucking serious", you hiss, fisting the blanket beneath you, the urge to punch something or someone becoming unbearable, "what the fuck is he doing at a random college party with – Sora?"

"Y/N, don't–", "Whose party is that?", you interrupt your best friend, not giving a single fuck about her attempts to calm you down; not anymore. Hana gulps harshly and strictly avoids your gaze as she mumbles a name and you roll your eyes, asking her to speak up with an annoyed sigh.

"It's one of Yuuji’s frat parties", and as soon as your best friend says the name of your ex-boyfriend, a cold shiver of disgust runs down your spine and you can feel yourself getting lightheaded from all the emotions rushing through your overwhelmed body.

"Don't follow me if you're going to stop me from leaving, Hana", you say and stand up before quickly disappearing inside your room.

You have no idea how you manage to get dressed, your outfit consisting of a pair of jeans and a hoodie you can't even remember buying and you don't even wanna think about what your hair and face look like when you end up leaving the house with your keys and your phone.

After driving this route for over two years on an almost daily basis, it takes you less than ten minutes to arrive in front of the huge house your ex-boyfriend lives in.

The memories start finding their way back into your head way too fast, taking away your breath and numbing your whole body because even if you didn’t love Yuuji anymore, the bitter feeling of betrayal still manages to hit you in just the right way.

It takes you a lot of willpower to actually approach the house and eventually get in. And after being in between the crowds of drunk, stinky college students, you remember why you hate college parties so much.

"I – Wow”, a familiar voice manages to break through the loud music, your instant reaction just an annoyed eye roll, “you were the last person I expected to see at one of our frat parties", Yuuji says and comes to stand in front of you.

His blonde hair messily falling into his handsome face and from the way his whole face seems to be covered in the deepest shade of red – including his eyes – you know that he's probably higher than the stars and you can't help but sigh.

"I'm not here to party, Yuuji", you hiss, feeling the anger crawl up your spine again the longer you look at your ex, "my boyfriend is here and I have to talk to him."

"So you and that tattooed guy are actually a thing? Didn't think so since he, you know – showed up with another girl", Terushima mumbles and pulls out a cigarette from his pocket, a mischievous smile on his lips.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Yuuji", you spit back and roll your eyes, taking in the way the pretty boy arches his brows up in pure shock at your rather new attitude, "go and get high or whatever you do to feel proud of yourself", are the last words you say to him before you walk away, your heart thrumming inside your throat.

Your eyes roam the huge crowd, desperately searching for the only face you wanna look at right now and you try to remember where they were standing in the video Sora had posted only to realize that you can't remember.

After all you only watched the video once, your whole attention laying on Kyoutani. And after almost fifteen minutes, you find yourself slowly giving up.

Maybe this was just not meant to happen or maybe Kyoutani has left already.

He probably left with Sora- something you can’t and won’t ever blame him for.

After all she's literally one of the prettiest and hottest girls you have ever seen – anyone who rejects her would be out of their mind (or not attracted to girls which isn't the case when it comes to Kyoutani).

You give it another ten minutes of desperately looking around before you let out a deep sigh which gets lost in the loudness and thick air of the party before you finally start making your way back to the front door.

You quickly walk back to your car, trying your best to ignore everyone around you, especially all the drunk guys who are currently about to get into a verbal fight over something totally random and the last thing you want to experience those threats becoming reality.

At some point you're scared they might even include you which is probably why you end up literally sprinting and even though you always park so far away from frat houses just because you've heard way too many stories of people getting their cars stolen during parties, but right now you just wished you would have listened to your gut feeling and parked in front of the fraternity like every normal person.

However, to your life long luck, you spot a tall figure standing a little too close to your vehicle just as you’re about to unlock it. You slow down your movements almost instantly upon seeing the stranger, yet your eyes still try to figure out if it's someone you know despite the darkness surrounding the two of you.

He has probably spotted you by now, after all you're still panting like crazy from speed walking down to where your car is and it takes you a full minute to realize how loud you're actually being.

"Y/N", the male suddenly says, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine and even though it could have been everyone, it sounds a tad bit too familiar to your ears which is probably why you end up approaching him slowly.

"It's me, Kyoutani", he adds and at the same moment the words leave his lips, you finally recognize his pretty features which seem extra beautiful underneath the bright moonlight.

And then realization hits you.

"How did you know–", "Hana called me and asked if I could make sure you got home even if I didn't want to talk to you. So, here I am. Get in the car so I can tell her I did my part of the job", he interrupts you quickly, obviously not having the intention to interact with you and the way his usually so tender-filled eyes and calming voice are nothing but ice-cold has a thick veil of tears blurring your sight.

Never ever did you think about the moment, where Kyoutani puts the cold mask on he loved to hide behind when he had first looked at you all those weeks ago.

And the longer he avoids your gaze, the heavier the burden on your chest becomes.

"I'm sorry, Tani", you whisper, your voice breaking at the end, easily giving away how much his cold demeanor has gotten to you.

“Of course you're not just a friend to me and I d-don't know why I introduced you like that, everything happened so quickly and I – panicked. It's not an excuse and does not justify my behavior but I just wanted you to know that you've always been more than just a friend to me", you continue, managing to keep talking upon realizing that Kyoutani won't interrupt you and the way he even listens to you with his eyes looking everywhere but yours is absolutely enough for you.

"What am I to you then, Y/N? Am I the guy you're casually fucking? Your booty call? Am I your second choice? Like what the fuck do you expect me to say? I know we never put a label to – this", he starts pointing at you and then himself, "but you knew I was serious about it, about you. So, I just don't understand why you would even think about considering me a friend. I told you that I am not one for that friends with benefits kinda shit and you agreed yet you did this and now I can't help but be convinced you just used me to get that Yuuji fucker.”

Kyoutani is angry and he doesn't even try to hide it as he spits out those words, the ones he’s probably been dying to say out loud for the past few days and you know he has every right to actually be mad at you, his words still hit you in a way you didn't expect them to.

"I'd never do that to you, Kentarou; I'd never use you like that, please believe me", you say quickly, a little surprised you're even able to form proper sentences.

“You m-mean so much to me and I just don't know how to put it into words. My heart hurt so much when I watched you type your number into Sora's phone but the demons in my head, they just kept talking over my heart and – I'm just really sorry, Kyou, I really am", you sigh and after realizing that he's not going to look at you, you finally manage to shift your gaze away from his pretty face.

"Go home, Y/N. It's been a long day for both of us and I think some more distance will help me get my mind straight", Kyoutani replies after a long, torturous beat of silence lingering in the cold air and even if it wasn’t the reply you had hoped to hear, you're glad he's at least not completely ending it.

"Okay b-but at least let me drive you home?", you ask softly, wiping away the few tears which had managed to escape and when you look up at the beautiful faced male in front of you, his eyes meet you for the first time since what feels like forever and you feel yourself melting away.

"I don't think that's a good idea, pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, the soft pet name sending your mind into the sweetest haze of comfort just like that, "it's only been a few days but I am craving your touch and I just know I'm going to lose it and fuck you against the next best surface if we get into that car together, so I have to decline this offer", he adds and takes another step back, his lips stretching into a tiny smile and you can’t deny how much his words have you gotten you worked up, but you have no choice but to nod.

"Have a good night, baby", Kyoutani sighs and deep down you're hoping for a kiss, after all it's been way too long since you got to feel close to him but instead, he just lifts his hand up and starts waving at you and just as he is about to turn around, you find yourself reaching for his wrist. The fear and despair inside of you making you a little too brave for your personal liking but you know you can't just let him walk away like that.

"Please, Tani- Kyoutani", you whisper and let out a soft sigh of relief when he turns around to face you again, "I won't try anything, I just want to spend a little bit more time with you."

Kyoutani takes a deep breath, his dark eyes roaming your face and wandering down your body and even though it feels like he's literally devouring you alive, you enjoy his burning gazes regardless, a hidden part inside of you even craving them.

A solid minute passes by before he lets out a sigh and gives you a nod, his plump lips pressed into a thin line.

It takes you another deep breath and a couple of seconds to actually calm yourself down from the rollercoaster of emotions you've been through within the time span of an hour and as you sit there in your car, inhaling the cold air of the night, your mind starts replaying everything that went down, starting from the day you met Kyoutani, to your first and most recent kiss, as well as the encounter with Sora and your deep anger towards Yuuji.

The drive to Kyoutani's apartment passes by in a blur, way too fast for your liking and you can't help but pout when you pull up in front of the huge building, knowing very well that this will be the last interaction with the handsome tattoo artist for the upcoming few days and you can already feel tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

He's been awfully quiet, not like you actually said anything but Kyoutani's silence was intense, boring into your soul and actually suffocating you to a point where the urge to just jump out of the car became overwhelming.

You know he's probably going through everything just like you, yet the feeling that his thoughts are more on the negative side just won't leave you alone and you hate the way your assumptions are being confirmed as soon as Kyoutani turns to look at you.

"I – love you, Y/N", he suddenly says, his voice soft and calm, yet still deep and the way it's filled with tenderness and the sweetest bit of longing makes the effect of those magical words even heavier.

Your lips part in shock, your head having a difficult time actually processing his confession and you can feel your whole body going into a standby mode.

"But you're not good for me."

You remember the way your heart broke into thousands of pieces when you found out the alleged love of your life was cheating on you without even batting an eye.

The pain was so intense and heavy, you didn't know how to deal with it and at some point you were convinced that your heart had stopped beating for a solid minute. It was bad, left you speechless and threw you into a hole of darkness you barely managed to escape from, yet still leaving you grateful for the experience.

You thought your first heartbreak would be able to prepare you for what's to come in the future, but what you went through as soon as those words had fallen past Kyoutani’s lips, can't be compared to anything you've ever felt before.

Your heart starts clenching as his words keep replaying inside of your head and your throat so is going absolutely dry from your desperate attempts to gasp for air as the feeling of being suffocated comes back.

Everything around you seems to disappear, your eyes still focused on Kyoutani's intense gaze as the feeling of emptiness starts filling up your whole body.

You easily lose track of time, your heart beat so slow and heavy and when the wave of reality crashes you yet again, an almost inaudible sob falls past your lips.

"B-But...", you can't get yourself to speak, the words getting stuck in your throat and soft cries the only thing filling the inside of your car.

And yet, there are so many things you want to tell him, so many things rushing through your mind at the highest speed, almost impossible to grasp them and actually put them into proper sentences.

"You have too much control over me. I lost myself trying to fit into the picture of a lover you need and deserve. But – I am not who I used to be anymore”, Kyoutani explains, nervously rubbing the sides of his pierced node with his thumb as he avoids looking in your direction at all costs.

“I am scared of losing what's obviously not mine. You make me feel weak and vulnerable and I just can't deal with it. You've become the center of my world, and I can't control how much it affects me. How much you affect me and – I hate it", he continued, his voice is still incredibly calm, yet a bittersweet tone of fear coating every single one of his words.

"B-But...", yet again, the whole of your vocabulary seems vanished, not one word to say as the knot in your throat tightens even further.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could do it but – I am not meant to love and you deserve to be loved in the most special way possible”, he takes another quick break, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, “and that's why I'm letting you go. Please, don't hate me. Take care and – goodbye, my love.”

Those are his last words before he presses his lips against your forehead, making your head spin like crazy because of the contrast of his heartbreaking words and his soft kiss.

Kyoutani leaves without saying another word. He doesn't even look back once as he walks away and enters the apartment building, while you can't stop staring at the door with hot tears streaming down your cheeks and loud sobs filling the suffocating air surrounding you.

There you are, yet again.

Your eyes staring into the dark night as your body tries to cope with the intensity of pain you've thought you had overcome.

The constant breaking of your heart starts numbing every part of your body and you slowly start losing yourself in this certain kind of darkness.

Seconds turn into minutes and without even realizing, a whole hour has gone by with you staring into nothing.

Your mind plays games with you as it keeps replaying his words, his behavior, his kiss and the feeling of slowly but certainly going insane as you get out of the car a little too fast.

You tumble back, the sudden coldness hitting you right in the face and the mental as well as physical exhaustion has your body trembling.

And then it hits you.

The wave of anger, wrath, frustration and hatred literally wakes you up, pulls you back into reality and ends up taking over you completely.

Your eyes find the huge apartment building Kyoutani lives in, staring at it as if you could set it on fire and you know what you're about to do is a bad idea but your body acts before your mind can even get the chance to intervene.

And that's how you find yourself almost brutality slamming your fist against Kyoutani's door, your heart hammering against your rib cage way too fast for it to be still physically healthy and ten thousand different thoughts rushing through your chaotic mind.

"What the fuck is going – Y/N", Kyoutani looks at you with his pretty eyes slightly widened in shock, his lips parting as he struggles to keep his eyes on you and a disgusting feeling of shame and embarrassment starts filling you up.

You know this is pathetic, you are aware of how stupid you look standing in front of him like this but you just can't get yourself to actually care about it.

"Y/N, please don't-", "No, I listened to what you had to say and now I'm going to talk and you're going to listen to me. Before that I am not going anywhere because I deserve this", you cut him off, hands balled into fists as you try to stay calm but the more you think about his words in the car, the angrier you get.

"I–", Kyoutani sighs, his eyes nervously roaming your face and upon noticing the way you seem to shiver from the cold and your lack of clothing, he lets his conscience get the best of him, "alright, come in then.”

You follow him inside, the familiar scent of vanilla and Kyoutani's favorite febreeze scent filling your nose and you hate the way how comfortable you are.

After all you've been spending quite some time in this apartment; visiting him after your classes so he could bury his face between your legs and then offer you some homemade food, followed by a good old ghibli movie and lots of cuddles has become some kind of routine.

Oh, how you hate him for ruining all of those memories.

"Do you want something to drink? You're probably freezing", he offers, his voice filled with concern and you know he is right and you'd definitely give everything for a cup of tea and maybe some water, you still shove all of your body’s basic needs into the very back of your head and try to regain your composure.

"I – you – we", you take a deep breath, your mind struggling to put all of those racing thoughts into some kind of order, yet failing miserably.

But there's so much you want to say to him; so many things you want him to hear and now that you are actually standing in front of him, your body betrays you.

"You're a fucking coward, Kyoutani Kentarou", is the first thing you finally manage to let out, "and I hate you for leaving me like this. I fucking hate you.”

Deep down, you hate yourself for saying those words; the choice of words and the incredible heaviness they come with are usually not your way of expressing yourself yet you're not regretting them.

You don't know how this night is going to end, maybe this will be the last time you get to see Kyoutani or he'll eventually fuck you into oblivion and you finally end up together; but nevertheless you want your words to hurt him; you want them to wake him up just like his did to you.

"How dare you confess your love to me and tell me I basically ruined your life in the same breath when you're the one who's fucking all of this – us up. Yes, I’ve made a mistake and I've been regretting my choice of words for the past four days, even came to the point where I accepted your distance and decided to let go because I know how much my words hurt you. But us ending like this? Definitely not going to happen", Kyoutani stares at you with his pretty eyes focusing you attentively, barely blinking, not moving at all; he’s just listening to you.

"I just – don't understand how you can be this oblivious."

"Oblivious? Oblivious to what?", he asks, his voice a little deeper and raspier, sending goosebumps straight dow your spine as if your body needed to remind you the effect he has on you.

"Oblivious to everything. This is what love does to people, Kentarou. Of course you're going to feel weak and vulnerable because of me - because of the one you love. After all the point of being loved and loving someone else is showing those vulnerabilities and weakness to the person you trust the most because you know, or at least you hope, they won't take advantage of it.”

You take a deep breath, your mind slowing down as you ease yourself into his calming embrace and subconsciously losing yourself in the comfort it comes with.

“I'm yours. I've been yours since the very first day and we both know this, that's why you are so scared of losing me. And that's why my words hurt you so much”, you can tell that he’s already processing your words as much as he can; his habit of scratching the back of his head giving him away easily.

"You said you've lost yourself trying to fit into this picture of someone who I deserve but – you are the one who created that picture in the first place. Just because my first boyfriend was an alleged goody two shoes doesn't mean that you have to be like that too. Fuck that", you hiss, the thought of Kyoutani changing even the slightest bit about himself sending jolts of anger through your veins, "I don't care if you dropped out of college or that you have tattoos and piercings and bleach blonde hair. None of that matters to me because it's you, your kind heart and your pure soul I fell in love with.”

And suddenly - you can feel the burden on your shoulders disappear when those certain words leave your lips and the second Kyoutani raises his eyebrows in slight surprise before he locks eyes with you again has another breath of fresh air run through your suffocated lungs.

"Yes, I'm in love with you, Kyoutani Kentarou. Believe it or not, but for me, you're perfect just like this, with all your tiny habits and every single tattoo. There's nothing I'd change about you and I'm genuinely, truly sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to change for me. You're a great guy and I guess that's why I ran back here after sitting in that car, crying for an hour because I couldn't stop thinking about the way you confessed your love to me”, you feel the thick veil of tears appear before they manage to block your sight, making the pretty face in front of you turn into bourry little pixels as your emotions overwhelm you.

“And yes, you are meant to be loved; maybe not meant to be loved by me but you deserve to be loved, do you hear me?"

You go up to him, closing some of the distance between the two of you before your finger darts out and poke his strong chest, trying to ease the tension after letting go of all those thoughts, "you deserve to love and to be loved because you're a good person. And I just – wanted to thank you for letting me into your life. Meeting you, getting to know the beautiful person you are has been one of the best things that has happened to me and I will cherish these memories forever."

And with those words you take a deep breath, let out another sigh, goving away your acceptance of defeat before you lift your head and prepare yourself to say your last goodbye no matter how painful it is.

"Take care, Kyoutani Kentarou and thank you, for everything", the words fall past your lips in the form of a whisper solely because you're too scared to break if you raised your volume just slightly.

You turn around and feel the first tear find its way down your cheek before you even get to walk away.

And just as you wrap your fingers around the doorknob, the sound of rushed footsteps approaching you makes you halt your movements.

"D-Don't go", Kyoutani suddenly says, his voice breaking when he comes to stand behind you, so close you can actually feel the warmth he's radiating, "I need you...so bad", he whispers into your ear, pressing his forehead against the back of your neck and it's like everything that happened tonight becomes irrelevant.

You turn around, not expecting Kyoutani to push you against the door with his whole body, yet still embracing him as much as you can.

With a soft sob, you start inhaling his unique scent, grazing his soft skin with your fingers and letting the warmth blossom inside of your chest after feeling his rapid heartbeat beneath your palm.

"Don't leave me, please", he cries, the tears running down his flushed cheeks despite his desperate attempts of holding back, "let's do this whole love thing.”

You stand there for what feels like an eternity, just hugging each other, taking in each other's presence and calming down from everything that has happened in such a short time. You finally calm down completely, Kyoutani's soft touches and tiny kisses give you the last bit of energy you needed and for the first time in almost three months, there's not one demon in your head trying to make you overthink something.

Because this feels perfect; there's literally no other word to describe the feeling of holding Kyoutani Kentarou and being held by him.

But nevertheless, you've been on a constant adrenaline rush for the past four hours and the exhaustion has been killing you, making you grow tired a lot faster than usual.

"What about moving this to your room, hm? I'd rather fall asleep with you in your bed than against the door; especially because I know the boys are out and will be coming home soon", you say softly, lifting Kyoutani's head from the crook of your neck and looking at him.

He sighs and gives you a soft kiss, giving you a nod in response before he gets himself to let go of you; his warmth leaving with him and it's almost disgusting how you literally crave his presence.

After Kyoutani makes you drink two glasses of water to avoid the dehydration of your body, he hands you one of his thick hoodies and leaves you to get ready in his bathroom.

You come back to the sight of him sitting against the headboard of his king sized bed, his oversized shirt revealing the perfect amount of collarbones and you enjoy the sight of his pretty skin and the dark lines covering most of it as well as the way his sweats hug his strong thighs in the best way possible.

And as you watch his eyes lazily roam your body, a hot jolt of arousal finds its way through your veins and right to your cunt.

"Don't look at me like that, sweet girl", Kyoutani suddenly groans and cocks his head to the side, his tongue poking out to wet his lips before he gulps harshly; his eyes never once leaving yours.

"B-But Tani...", you reply, approaching him with tiny steps become you come to stand right next to his tall figure, feeling yourself growing needier because of the way your body is craving his touch now more than ever.

“Baby…”, he replies and gulps harshly, knowing your body better than yourself after weeks of getting to know you in a way nobody has ever before.

"Please, Tani...please, fuck me. I need to feel you inside of me. I've been waiting for so long...", you plead, your fingers coming to graze his pretty lips as memories of all the times he had turned you into a crying mess with those lips.

Kyoutani is just as affected by the change in tension as you, the slight bulge in his grey sweatpants as well as the hunger burning in his eyes giving him away.

"You're such a pretty angel girl, aren’t you?", he whispers and sits up, pulling you closer to make you stand in between his legs as he starts caressing your hot cheeks with his fingers.

“Yet you're saying all those naughty things”, Kentarou chuckles deeply, “imagine how people would react if they knew what a cockhungry little slut you actually are", upon hearing those degrading names, your cunt starts clenching around nothing and a high pitched whimper escaped your throat.

"For you...", you whisper, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth the second Kyoutani starts placing open mouthed kisses on your neck.

Your fingers dig into his shoulders, pulling the material of his shirt a little too tightly.

"Of course, baby, you're mine after all and this sweet cunt", the sudden feeling of his palm pressing against the damped fabric of your panties has you gasping for air, "belongs to me, and me only", Kyoutani grunts, pulling the skin of your neck between his lips before he starts sucking gently as well as slowly moving his fingers against the lacey fabric between your legs.

"Yes, it's yours", you reply, after several weeks of being intimate with Kyoutani you've learned one thing and that's how much he loves hearing you say all those dirty and lewd things, "please fuck me."

"Patience, my love, patience. I am going to fuck you", Kentarou replies calmly and suddenly pushes you away, his hands disappearing from your body and when your lid flutter open because of the lack of touch, he shoots you one of his cocky smirks, "but let's not forget the whole friend situation, hm? What about you make it up to me before I fuck you like the little whore you are?"

His words have excitement rush through your blood, your head literally spinning just from the thought of finally getting to be on the giving end after weeks of him playing the selfless lover.

You nod eagerly, anticipation sparkling in your eyes as you watch him palm himself over his sweats before you get on your knees and wait for him to let go of his now fully erect cock.

However, the more seconds pass by like this, the more nervous you become because for some reason you suddenly remember that you've basically never sucked dick before.

Your head shoots up with slight panic written all over your face and of course Kyoutani notices your change in demeanor right away.

"What's wrong, angel?", he asks you and stops the movements of his hands.

"I don't know how to do it, Tani", you whisper, knowing there's no point in being shy about it, after all he happens to be the guy you've experienced your most firsts with.

"It's okay, baby, I'm going to help you”, Kyoutani replies and actually loses his composure for a second, “fuck baby, don't look at me like this when I'm literally about to fuck your throat", he hisses, throwing his head back as he grunts and his hips desperately bucking into the air.

Kyoutani takes another deep breath before he finally pushes his hand underneath the waistband of his sweats and with your eyes focused on his movements, you watch him pull out his hard length, a soft hiss falling past his plump lips when the coldness of the room grazes the slightly wet tip of his cock.

You gulp harshly, his impressive size in girth as well as length has your pussy throbbing like crazy, yet you can't help but wonder how the hell he's going to fit inside of you.

“Don't worry, baby, I know you're going to take all of my cock like the good girl you are", Kyoutani says after observing your facial expressions for some time.

"Give me your hand", he asks you softly, his voice still raspy and incredibly hoarse yet still soothing and you appreciate his attempts to calm himself down so you won't feel too nervous. With your heart slamming against your rib cage, you lift your hand up and are slightly overwhelmed at the sudden feeling of Kyoutani's warm spit pooling inside your palm. Without adding anything, he straightens himself and motions you to stroke his hard cock.

Not once do you stop looking at him as you wrap your fingers around the base of his impressive length and slowly start jerking him off.

Kyoutani cocks his head to the side, his bottom lip pulled in between his teeth and his eyes constantly fluttering close.

"Start with the tip, angel- just wrap your lips around it and start sucking, but be careful with your teeth, yeah baby?", he grunts, his hips thrusting into your fist every time the pace of your strokes slows down.

You give him yet another nod before look up at him one more time and do as he says.

The feeling of his cock between your lips is – different.

It feels like it's not supposed to be there, yet the salty taste of his precum coating your tongue has you sighing softly. Your tongue darts out, giving his tip a tiny kitten lick before you go back to sucking on it eagerly.

And while you seem to enjoy it a lot, Kyoutani is going absolutely crazy. You can see the way he's tensing his body as his grip in the bed sheets tightens and the vein on his neck pops out.

"F-Fuck, baby, just like that", he praises you "now try to take more of it in a-and use your hand for the rest", Kyoutani's voice is shaky, his eyes are nervously roaming your swollen lips and the string of spit connecting them to the tip of his cock.

Without giving it another thought, you take a deep breath and take more of him, trying your best to not graze his sensitive cock with your teeth and despite your initial struggle, you still enjoy the feeling of his cock on your tongue.

You subconsciously wrap your fingers around the part of his cock which you can't fit inside your mouth and suddenly it's like your body knows exactly what to do.

Kyoutani's moans grow louder and the soft thrusts of his hips become a little less controlled. You look up at him every now and then, trying your best to keep the steady rhythm as you bop your head.

And then he suddenly thrusts his length all the way to the back of your throat, your gag reflex just about to go off when he pulls back which is the moment you take notice of the tears streaming down your cheeks.

You give him a soft smile before going back to wrapping your lips around his tip, but you don't get very far.

Kyoutani pulls you back, his grip on the back of your neck not firm enough to hurt you.

"I promise I'm going to fuck your throat properly and even cum in your mouth the next time we do this but right now I just can't stop thinking about that tight cunt of yours", he says, helping you get up and almost instantly pulling you onto his lap; his wet cock rubbing against your panty covered core as Kyoutani pulls you in for a kiss.

It's sloppy and rushed, the way his tongue grazes over yours before he pulls it between his lips and starts sucking at it. Your hips start moving against his cock, your sensitive pussy craving some kind of friction as the arousal has your head spinning like crazy.

You start moaning and whimpering into his mouth when Kyoutani’s hips start meeting your desperate movements, applying the perfect amount of pressure onto your needy clit.

You feel the knot in the pit of your stomach tightening, the clenching of your cunt becoming worse the more you hump Kyoutani's cock like a woman starved.

But nothing prepares you for the feeling of one of his large digits entering you. Your hole start clenching around his finger Kyoutani pushes another one in, both digits buried inside of your little cunt.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't you, baby? I'm going to finger you nice and slow so you're ready for my cock. Now come on, my love; show me what a good whore you are and ride my fingers", Kyoutani encourages you, his hot breath fanning against the sensitive skin behind your ear and without missing a beat, your hips meet the skillful thrusts of his fingers.

Kyoutani continues to whisper naughty things into your ear, his other hand eventually wrapping around your throat as he makes sure you look into his eyes when you stumble over the edge.

Your high hits you hard and fast, the intensity knocking the breath out of your lungs and leaving you gasping for it; something you should be used to by now yet still can't believe is even possible.

He pushes you off of his lap softly, helps you get rid of his shirt as well as your ruined panties before he makes you lay down in the middle of his bed; eyes locking with yours when he also starts undressing.

"My pretty girl", Kyoutani sighs, his hand caressing the soft skin of your thighs, spanking you every now and then just because he's absolutely obsessed with the way your whole body tenses whenever his hand meets your skin.

“Look at me", he orders and almost instantly your head shoots up to meet his gaze, the sight of his naked body distracting you a lot more than you expected but after all this is the first time you get to see the rest of his tattoos; the ones you usually only get a tiny glimpse of depending on his outfit choice.

Kyoutani spreads your legs apart, his eyes never leaving yours even when he starts jerking off again and you can't hold back the soft whimpers and begs leaving your lips.

But also something about his flushed cheeks and swollen lips as well as his messy hair falling into his face has you incredibly turned on.

"We've never talked about this before but are you on the pill, baby?", he asks, pushing one of his thumbs into his mouth before he brings it down to your clit and starts rubbing soft circles into it, making you arch your back off of the mattress as you bury your face in the pillow to keep your noises down.

"N-No", you whisper, a deep sigh coming from Kyoutani and even though you know you shouldn’t do it, you stop him from bending over to the drawer of his nightstand, making him look at you in confusion.

“But I still want you to raw me, please...", you add and gulp harshly when his whole body seems to go into some kind of haze once the words leaveyour lips.

Kyoutani looks at you, his eyes darkening even more as he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and lets out a loud moan of your name.

"I can't just raw you, baby", he presses through gritted teeth, his mask slowly falling apart the more you rub yourself against his cock, "you've never had sex without a condom and my pull out game is weak, even weaker when it comes to you because fuck – the thought of filling you up with my cum sounds so fucking good", Kyou groans when you scoot up a little, taking his length into your hand before you line him up with your entrance.

"B-But what if you get pregnant, sweet girl?", he sighs and tries to pull away, making you wrap your arms around his neck as you look into his pretty eyes.

"That will just show everyone around us how well you've fucked me", you whisper and elicit another deep moan from him, his whole body shaking slightly as he tries to hold himself back from just pounding into you.

"Such a cockhungry whore", he hisses and – finally – starts pushing his fat cock into your tiny cunt, the slight stretch making you both gasp for air.

“If that's what you want, then that’s what you get, you little slut. I'm going to fucking raw you and fill you up with all of my cum, make you my cumslut", Kyoutani grunts, pulling your bottom lip between his teeth before he harshly grabs your face and looks into your eyes as he buries more of himself inside of you.

"F-Fuck, you're big", you whimper, throwing your head back and trying your very best to stop clenching around his cock.

“We're almost there, baby- you got this, s-stop clenching", Kyoutani grunts against your parted lips. Without a warning, Kyoutani pushes the rest of his huge cock inside of you, bottoming out completely.

“F-Fuck...you’re so– tight”, Kentarou grunts, his fingers digging into the flesh of your hips as he buries his face in the crook of your neck, “it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.”

“S-So good...so fucking good, nngh-”, your little whimpers and whines are slurred, barely coherent as the feeling of being filled to the brim pushes you into a haze of pleasure.

You feel the pulsation of his cock against your spongy walls, his hands nervously roaming your body and groping one of your tits, as he obviously tries to calm himself down.

And then he finally starts moving.

A deep, guttural moan leaves the both of you when he pulls himself out of your tight hole, dragging his huge cock along the walls of your little cunt in the most delicious way possible before he almost brutally shoves himself back in again.

“Mhm, just like that, you little brat”, he grunts, sitting up on his knees as he pushes your legs further apart, his eyes focusing the way his fat cock stretches your hole just how he’s been imagining it all this time, “coming up to me and talking about having your little cunt rawed like some cumhungry little whore.”

You start nodding almost instantly at his words, your brain barely recognizing them, the only thing you can focus on being the way the tip of his cock grazes the entrance to your womb with every harsh, brutal thrust of his hips.

His thrusts find a steady rhythm, hard and so, so deep.

“Open your mouth”, Kyoutani grunts, a single drop of sweat finding its way down the center of his tattooed chest, the sight making you whimper and whine for him even louder as you part your lips as soon as you process his words.

“You know what? I’d rather have you say it”, he suddenly hisses, pulling his cock out of your spasming cunt before he presses your legs together and shoves himself back inside of you with one skilled thrust of his hips.

You have no idea at what point you start crying but by the time Kyoutani's moans and grunts start picking up their pace, you're a sobbing mess.

“S-Say wh-what?”, you sob, hiding your tear and spit stained face behind your hands, not daring to look up at him.

“I want you to ask for my spit and beg for my cum”, Kentarou’s voice grows raspier, the dominance seething through every single one of his words makes it so easy for you to fall even further into the hole of absolute submission, “and stop hiding yourself, angel girl..I wanna watch the way I’m fucking your brains out.”

A row of loud, high pitched whines and a combination of sobs and moans are the only thing you manage to respond with, your brain clouded with the feeling of his thick cock dragging along the spongy walls of your cunt.

And before you can even comprehend his next movement, you hear the loud sound of skin meeting skin followed by the delicious feeling of a sting sending jolts of pain through your body, something you’ve come to love after so many hours with the tattoo artist.

“I told you to ask and beg for it, angel girl..you’re making me wait”, Kentarou spits, never once halting the movements of his hips as he watches the way you start sobbing even more, your cunt spasming around his cock after his painful spank.

“Please...f-fuck, please spit in my mouth and my face and on my cunt- want it all”, you start brabbling, another row of incohrent begs following right afterwars as your hips sloppily meet his harsh thrusts, “I want you to stuff me full of your cum, too- please, Daddy, wanna be your little c-cumdumpster.”

“There you go..”, Kyoutani’s plump lips stretch into a big smile as his cock throbs at the sound of that one forbidden little word he’s come to love even more after hearing it from you only a handful of times.

He didn’t hesitate to tell you about how much it turns him on around two weeks after the two fo you had started dating and even though he never really expected you to use it, he was secretely hoping for you to overcome your shyness.

You had used it only twice before when the pleasure had gotten too much for your brain to handle and Kyoutani knew you’d stop holding yourself back as soon as you got a taste of his cock.

“What did you just call me, pretty girl?”, he cooes, giggling softly at the way you whimper and cry even harder, knowing oh so well what he wants to hear.

And for the first time you just can’t get yourself to argue with the little voice in the back of your head; the feeling of his cock stretching your tiny cunt making it so, so easy to just let go of all those doubts and worries.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply and look into his eyes, groping your own tits as you arch your back to feel him even deeper inside of you, “n-need your cum inside of me...please- want everyone to know who I belong to.”

You don’t really expect it, yet your pussy almost instantly start clenching around his cock when kyoutani harshly grabs your face, making you part your lips before he spits into your mouth.

The loud, lewd sound of it rings in your ears in the best way possible and acting like a literal aphrodisiac in combination with the delicious taste of his saliva coating the hot muscle of your tongue.

You hum softly before you swallow it all, a gentle sob escaing your lips before you look up at him again.

"Now go on, angel girl”, he growls, pushing his hand in between your legs to rub circles into your hardened clit, “I want you to cum for me. Be a good little dumpster for your Daddy and show me what only I can do to you.”

You can barely process his words, the lewdness just fueling the fire in the pit of your stomach as you lose yourself in the feeling of your upcoming high. But you still start nodding, cringing at the feeling your saliva dripping down your jawline.

And with one last thrust, you feel your high crashing down onto you with such heaviness, you're left absolutely breathless.

Your whole body is trembling as the waves of your orgasm hit you, a row of incoherent words leaving your lips before you stop trying and just start crying for your precious Daddy.

"That's my baby”, is the first thing your brain manages to process again, everything still a blurry mess and when you look at Kyou, you realize you’re still cumming.

Your cunt is almost painfully spasming around his big cock, your juices dripping down the sides of his length as he helps you ride out your orgasm.

“You’re such a good, good girl for Daddy, aren’t you? I'm so proud of you", Kyoutani praises you, his thrust a little sloppier than before and from the way he's digging his fingers into the skin of your waist, you can only assume that he's also quiet close, "you're also going to take all of Daddy’s cum, right, baby? We gotta make sure I fill you up nicely..."

You take a deep breath, your slightly overstimulated cunt sending shivers down your spine as your eyes focus on Kyoutani's parted lips.

"Please, Daddy...need you to fill me up with your cum", you encourage him and when you slowly push two of your fingers into his mouth, knowing how much he loves to suck on them no matter what situation you’re both in, you finally get to see his whole face crunch up in pleasure.

His body tenses up as his grip on your waist becomes firmer before he starts cumming inside of you with a deep, raspy moan; coating the walls in several shades of white with three thick spurts of his cum.

Kyoutani buries his face in the crook of your neck as he slowly calms down, loud breathing and rushed gasps for air the only thing to fill the inside of his empty room.

"I love you so much", he whispers and gives you a soft kiss, his cock still firmly buried inside of your sensitive cunt before he shoots you a soft smile; looking almost boyish with his glossy eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I love you, too, D-Daddy”, you whisper, gulping harshly as the words leave your lips, feeling yourself grow even smaller underneath his strong yet comforting gaze, “thank you for giving us a chance", you add and pull him into for another kiss.

"Kyoutani Kentarou, your favorite group of walking disappointments is back and better than ev - oh", Iwaizumi Hajime, Kyoutani's High School best friend, fellow tattoo aritst and roommate suddenly yells and almost brutally slams open the door, startling you to the last bone in your body.

Kyoutani is quick to cover you up with his body, his hand reaching for one of the blankets on the floor as he grunts in annoyance.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know–", "What is it, Iwa-Chan? Is he jerking off again? Kyoutani Kentarou you little piece of shit, just go and fuck that–", just like Iwaizumi, Oikawa – who also happens to be his best friend, felow tattoo artist and roommate – comes to stand in the doorway, bumping into his best friend before he finally spots the two of you.

"You're naked", he points out, closing his eyes almost instantly after realizing what he has just come to witness and despite the disgusting feeling of wanting to disappear and never come back again, you can't help but giggle at their shocked and slightly disgusted faces.

Kyoutani takes a deep breath and pulls out of you, still making sure to hide you behind his body before he hands you the blanket and lets his eyes shift to the door, looking at his best friends in pure disbelief.

"Kawa stop fucking staring and – can you two please fuck off?", he yells, pulling the boys back to reality and the way both of them shift to look at you only to blush from their necks to their ears has you chuckling softly.

This type of situation is nothing you’re not used to – unfortunately.

"Uhm – of course! Oh, my fucking God! So sorry, Kyou", Iwaizumi stutters and wraps his fingers around the doorknob, avoiding your eyes as much as he can before he pushes Oikawa away and then closes the door with another row of apologies.

Kyoutani just looks at you apologetically as he shakes his head and face palms himself, making the both of you burst into loud laughter.

And after taking a shower together and actually eating some late dinner with the boys, you fall asleep with Kyoutani's arms tightly wrapped around your waist, his face buried inside the crook of your neck and one last love confession.

And when those sweet words fall past his lips yet again, you realize – you're finally home.

[ banner source ]

[plutouran]

hi!!! I loved your how to make levi blush fic sm!💞💞 could we please get a reiner version?

a/n: thank you so so much for that request! <3 reiner is my highest kin in aot so let’s go omg

how to make reiner blush — a loving guide

note: soft fluff! (a little angst) manga spoilers. mention of sex. scenario & headcanon!

pairing: reiner x gn! reader

[reiner had everything but a fair, easy life. however there was someone in his life that he fell hard for, eventually leaving even the toughest man coloured with red cheeks.]

ACKNOWLEDGE HIM

— this man went through hell, never being good enough as a warrior, losing his trusted comrades and being stuck alongside his potential enemies for years. naturally, he doubts his actions more than anyone else only until you showed up in his life, encouraging his beliefs and goals. „i will definitely help you to go back to your hometown.“ you‘d tell him after he shared his goals with you, leaving reiner flustered, dazzled even by your pure intentions. whenever you support his desires wholeheartedly his heart skips a beat, or two.

GETTING DRUNK TOGETHER

— i can see reiner consuming a fair amount of alcohol. however, you did not! additionally you were a lightweight, terrible at drinking but eventually there was a day you joined a ceremony as a full fledged survey corp, finding reiner all by himself. it didn’t take long until you convinced yourself to drink a few shots to keep the lonesome looking man company. getting all tipsy, even intending to dance with reiner, he suddenly became all flustered and shy. you couldn’t really remember that night very well but you do recall seeing his ears turn red while you two were dancing through the night.

WEARING HIS CLOTHES

— reiner was a tall man, like really tall so of course his clothes were seemingly a tent, to you at least. so, there was a time you overslept. reiner still sleeping next to you, you instantly got up and grabbed the first thing you saw. after quickly shoving an apple inside your mouth, brushing hair and - of course - changing into the earlier found white shirt, you were in a rush. eventually, reiner woke up, as well, searching for you but you already were on your way. it took him some minutes until he found you, talking to some of your teammates and, to his disbelief, wearing nothing else than the baggy shirt that belonged to him. his face stayed pink for the rest of the day.

TEASING HIM

— your worst habit had been teasing reiner to the edge of insane. whether it was wearing something more revealing than you usually did, kissing him in front of everyone or sending shivers down his spine by barely touching his neck. you knew what you did whenever you noticed his flustered face which eventually led to a hot night of breathless kissing and longing touches.

WATCHING YOU SLEEP

— reiner usually was someone that slept a lot so it was rather rare seeing you asleep next to him but there actually were mornings when the sunrise coloured your still sleeping silhouette in a soft orange. it was one of those peaceful moments reiner treasured the most. seeing you vulnerable and that close to him, left his ears burning red.

BE A HOUSEWIFE

— not really obviously but if you have qualities of a housewife, he‘d be dazzled. being good at cleaning or cooking was something reiner just really liked. it was his preference. the better you were, the more flustered he would become but make sure to include him in the working too!

ACT CUTE AND BE CARING

— you know how kpop idols act all cute on variety shows and male hosts fall in love with them instantly? yeah that’s what you‘d do to reiner which originally was just an attempt to tease him, still ending with him blushing for a hot minute. also! whenever you treat his wounds or take care of his well-being, he‘d give you a big smile for your kindness and love.

ACCEPTING HIM FOR WHO HE IS

— accepting him was something no one ever did so when you actually supported him, whether it was him being a titan, his depressing tendencies, you always had his back and you would care about him, so very much, talking things through or simply accepting the way it was. having you by his side after everything he had done made him extremely overwhelmed, especially back when you had pulled him in a tight hug after he told you about the failed mission in paradis, him being a monster. you didn't care as long as he was by your side. that statement still makes him blush whenever he does think about it.

[darkdevasofdestruction]

An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader

Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.

And I didn't leave the house.

That says a lot about today...

Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...

helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??

I live for it.

Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.

I love you, baby-cakes.

Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.

--------

For the 5th time writing this :

FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE

Thanks.

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Hell - What was that place, anyway?

Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?

But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.

All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.

But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.

In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.

On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.

The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.

The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.

These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.

Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'

And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.

Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.

He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.

Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...

Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.

Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.

"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.

However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.

"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.

It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.

It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.

He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.

He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.

"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.

Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.

"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.

As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?

It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.

As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...

"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.

What the hell was he turning into?

A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.

She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.

"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.

When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.

Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.

It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.

An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.

As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.

"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.

She was hooked.

Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.

Yay.

[vickyvicarious]

I was thinking about the whole "how do people not know that Eliot Spencer worked with Damien Moreau" thing again today, and... I think that actually, it makes perfect sense that they don't.

It all comes down to the type of person Damien Moreau is, and the type of organization he runs.

(under a cut for length. the very last paragraph has mild Redemption spoilers but nowhere else does.)

Think about it. What do we know about Moreau?

He runs a very tight ship. He has very clear procedures in place to leave no evidence or witnesses behind. He is always the one in control and it's an absolute dictatorship where he is always the most important person in the room. Everyone else is either an asset or a liability; they are literally defined by how they relate to Moreau.

If you are an enemy of Moreau and he sends people to kill you, those people aren't getting individual backstories. It doesn't matter who they are, all that matters is that they work for Moreau. They are representatives of him and you know they will do whatever he says. There's no individual appeal to be made here. As far as you're concerned you're dealing with Moreau.

Letting Eliot Spencer's name spread around isn't actually that helpful to Moreau, because it diverts the attention from him. Even in the sense of "holy shit, he's got the Eliot Spencer obeying his every order" it still diverts attention. It's impressive yeah, but it's not a unified front. He wants it to be a homogenous mass where anyone or anything could turn against you. If you displease Moreau, you don't know who is coming after you, but you know someone is, and you know you can't get away.

And all that is assuming you know Moreau's name in the first place. He's so particular about his layers of privacy and deniability. He is so careful who he works with. He deals with only the more important people, but he does that himself. So either you don't know who Moreau is at all, or you know he's the only one from his organization who really matters.

(Also, think about Eliot leaving. If he's widely known, this is a clue to other people that Eliot Spencer working on his own means something has changed. Moreau let someone go? Is there a weakness to exploit there? People would wonder. However, if he's not widely known there is no danger as long as Eliot doesn't reveal his past relationship with Moreau. It makes complete sense with his "I never told anyone about you" line, because people wouldn't know unless Eliot told them. It would have to be a deliberate act of betrayal, versus him staying quiet and respecting Moreau's generosity in letting him leave by keeping that unusual behavior a secret.)

I'm not saying there's no one who recognizes Eliot. But his name is not really widely known the way we see in canon. At best he might be known as the one guy who hunts down the hardest prey, the reason you really can never get away. But there's also evidence to be had that Eliot served a role like Chapman (I mean, he's basically labelled Eliot's replacement). Chapman doesn't seem to be someone the rest of the team knew. He's not identified as a threat or a possible in or anything; the only person they ever talk about is Moreau himself, and maybe a few major subordinates of his who run entire sub-organizations. Chapman, from the outside, is just yet another killer working for Moreau, alongside a whole bunch of others.

Now. Internally, it's a different matter.

Inside the organization, there are obviously grudges. There's a clear hierarchy and Eliot's name very clearly holds weight. I think this fits perfectly with how tight a ship Moreau runs and how careful he is about who he works with. From the outside, all people see is Moreau and his vast army or whatever, but on the inside there are absolutely rising stars, commanders, people who are closer to Moreau and thus more respected, etc.

Chapman seems to serve as a combo of commander to all the rest of the goons, Moreau's personal head of security/assassination, but also someone who still goes and gets his hands dirty for the important jobs. He spends a good bit of time around Moreau, but to an outsider who sees him standing there during a meeting he's just another suit who could kill them. Security. Internally, he's clearly someone who fought his way up to this position; probably wanted it for a long time but couldn't get it because that was Eliot's spot.

Inside the organization, Eliot Spencer's name is an Moreau-access pass, even years after he's successfully left. Highest clearance, he's a big deal. They don't know his face but they all know his name. I think this fits perfectly with the kind of pitting people against one another games Moreau plays. There are intense rivalries and those who get close to the boss are respected and feared. There's the 'Moreau's dog' angle absolutely there, but it's just kept to an internal level. It's much more useful for keeping other subordinates in line to know that Eliot Spencer will come after you if you displease Moreau, because by virtue of working for him the usual approach of a vast invisible army already wouldn't work. They know who works for Moreau, it's not going to be a surprise. It's much better for them to have a living boogeyman, someone they all know is much better than they are, to fear.

And again, in the higher levels, other people like Chapman get to focus all their irritation on Eliot rather than on Moreau himself. He's trusted more, he gets all the best jobs, I could do it if he weren't in the way... Moreau's like an abusive parent pitting his children against one another so they can't see their real enemy is the father. He probably encouraged a certain amount of infighting, and doled out his favor juuuust enough to everyone to keep them wanting his approval enough to work together, even as they hated one another. In that sense, even letting Eliot leave unmolested is a bonus for Moreau; all the people left behind can still see him as this unattainable goal of being close to Moreau, this gold standard of someone trusted enough to get unusual leeway. And look at what he did, he threw that trust away and now Moreau doesn't trust us as much anymore - the blame still gets thrown on Eliot even after he's gone.

.

So really, I think Eliot Spencer is known in the criminal world first and foremost as a retrieval specialist. He made his name after leaving Moreau.

He was well known in certain circles before then, of course, but those were generally military or spies. Government. They still did awful stuff but it was on the legal side of things, or at least supposed to be. The vast majority of criminals aren't going to know individual soldiers by name no matter how good they are, unless they hold a more public authority/rank.

And when he was with Moreau, he was just another faceless thug. More deadly than the rest, sure, but they were all still deadly enough to get the job done, so if you're dead either way the word about this one guy isn't gonna spread. Internally, his notoriety was tremendous, but Moreau would not want that to get out, so it wouldn't.

Eliot Spencer first starts to become really famous as a lone wolf retrieval expert. He is known by that, first and foremost. Maybe everyone knows basic facts, like that he was in the military or he worked as an assassin before moving into retrieval, but no real details. Certain groups know him as a highly-trained soldier (but if they can still get him to work for them on occasion, as we know they do, publicizing how large of a role he held/holds there is a link they don't want. plausible deniability is key) or as Moreau's dog (but advertising that outside the closest circles of the organization is actively discouraged) but the word doesn't really spread about those.

Then Eliot is linked to Leverage. And maybe after they take Moreau down and his empire collapses, more rumors spread that he used to work for Moreau, he turned against him and actually took him down. And when Eliot finally cuts ties with the military and no longer accepts odd jobs from them, maybe it's a little easier for those rumors to spread too, although I imagine they still wouldn't want details getting out so it'd be less likely.

.

By the time we get to Redemption, Eliot's reputation is almost entirely linked to his work with Leverage. Once he reaches this level of fame, then of course more people are going to dig into his background before this. But at this point he's become much more of a ghost; you can't find information on him anywhere online, but he regularly shows up and is a threat to a lot of people especially in security. It makes sense that they pay more attention to him now. There's no one in the government trying to protect him enough to keep him operational anymore, since he doesn't work with them, so all levels of law enforcement can freely go after him. He's not just doing jobs for whoever hires him, he's going off on his own and attacking criminals left and right, so the underworld is less likely to ignore him. And he specifically is an ongoing threat/embarrassment to a lot of security teams, so the business/security world wants to know him too. RIZ knows that given the kind of people they protect, there's a good chance this monster is gonna show up and kick their ass, so they make it a point to try and know who he is.

[tothemeadow]

How Genshin Characters View the Traveler (aka crushes galore)

I know this isn't a Genshin blog but I need to get this off my chest and organize my thoughts because I believe in Aether harem supremacy ✌

Disclaimer: this is meant for fun, so don’t get your knickers in a twist

Albedo

Albedo blatantly admits that the traveler fascinates them. He'll usually ask to hear of their numerous journeys and take notes on them. He quite enjoys their company, but Albedo is pretty clueless about his own feelings, especially those of the romantic sort. He wonders why he catches himself staring at them so much.

Amber

Amber is easily one of the traveler’s biggest supporters. She almost gets a bit too excited whenever they’re around, but she’ll also outright deny that she has a crush on them if anyone were to poke fun at her. If time allows it, she’ll often ask them to go gliding around Mondstadt with her.

Ayaka

Ever since she first heard of the traveler, their accomplishments genuinely impressed Ayaka. However, once she first met them in person, she was taken aback by how attractive they were. Furthermore, once they helped her out, she gets more insight of how truly wonderful they are and her affections (hence the dance performance).

Barbara

Barbara truly believes they are an actual gift sent by Barbatos himself. Not only are they kind and helpful, but they treat her with respect as a person, not some glorified object. She tends to get flustered easily and turns shy whenever the traveler compliments her.

Beidou

Beidou likes to laugh, and she thinks the traveler is funny. She often swaps stories about fights and adventures with them, so there’s definitely a bond between them! She especially appreciates their fighting spirit and would be honored to have them join their crew or at least be a drinking buddy (despite what the traveler says).

Bennett

The traveler is essentially an idol in Bennett's eyes. He admires them so much, but it never gets to the creepy level of obsession. He jumps at the opportunity to travel with them every time. Bennett isn't really good with distinguishing feelings, but knowing that they treat him as an equal makes his stomach flutter.

Childe

Hey girlie 😏 Childe gets off to the idea of someone successfully kicking his ass or potentially being able to kill him, so he is an absolute simp for the traveler. He genuinely loves it when they show disinterest at his flirting, and he swoons whenever they're sarcastic with him. He's not pathetic, he's just a sadomasochist.

Chongyun

Frankly, Chongyun’s just happy to have another friend besides Xingqiu. He also really likes the way they don’t push him out of his comfort zone, but instead try to gently coax him out. He’s often very cold to the touch and constantly chilly, but he feels oddly warm whenever the traveler is beside him.

Diluc

Appreciates the fact that the traveler isn't full of shit (unlike some people). He's impressed by their competence and their fighting abilities, so he doesn't hesitate in complimenting them. He usually says things without really thinking through them, so sometimes Diluc says something sappy or embarrassing without meaning to.

Diona

Diona thinks the traveler may or may not be cute. She won't admit it, though. She won't admit that she cares about their wellbeing either. The traveler is just another person who's going to come and go, so there's no point in getting invested in them. It's a relatively simple crush, nothing more.

Eula

Eula is more or less impressed with the traveler. She views them as a truly reliable person that is able to get the job done. Although she may seem skeptical at times, one of her greatest fantasies is to find more rebellious people like them and break free of Mondstadt and her lineage.

Fischl

Perhaps the traveler is a dashing monarch from another world! It genuinely excites her that they follow along with her roleplaying, even when some of her messages get lost in translation. She appreciates their friendly gestures and the fact they don’t treat her like an outsider.

Ganyu

A lot of people have a difficult have a hard time understanding Ganyu’s feelings, so it came as quite as a surprise that she and the traveler clicked almost instantly. The traveler treats her as another person, not as some ancient being; this type of behavior is what made her become flustered around them in the first place ☺️

Hu Tao

Thinks they’re super cute! She’s one who’s playful and flirty; however, her ways are a bit odd. She usually tries to tell what kind of casket she’d lick out for the traveler, what she’d dress them in, etc. Sometimes, she’ll bake “special cookies” in the shapes of bones just for them.

Jean

Much like Barbara, Jean sees the traveler as a blessing. However, unlike Barbara, Jean doesn't swoon over their looks or mannerisms; frankly, she's just glad that someone rational is willing to help and not make too much of a commotion (like some certain members of the Knights of Favonius).

Kazuha

Has feelings for the traveler and makes no effort to hide them. Often times Kazuha will write them poems or haikus; sometimes he'll add dried flowers or a pretty leaf. He truly has a way with words, and it never fails to stir something inside the traveler's chest. He's very gentle and mild-mannered, so he never forces anything too heavy on them.

Kaeya

Kaeya is a humongous flirt and everyone knows it. However, he seems even more so once the traveler is in the picture, and he has the tendency of showing off in some sort of way. He knows he's attractive and uses his looks to advantage whenever he can, though he makes sure to keep it somewhat subtle.

Keqing

Keqing isn’t the type to deal with people’s shit and isn’t fond of fools. Fortunately, the traveler doesn’t fall into either of those categories, so she gets along with them quite well. She can find similarities in their personalities (like working constantly), so she appreciates the fact that she can openly discuss these sort of problems with them.

Klee

Genuinely sees them as an older sibling! Klee often goes to them for advice or to spend the day together; often times, she'll send letters or drawings whenever they're apart (and yes, the drawings usually consist of her and the traveler blowing something up).

Lisa

Another flirt, no problems asked. Lisa makes euphemisms quite a bit, and it truly brings her joy when her comments make the traveler blush. Despite being scolded by Jean to tone it down a bit, she genuinely can't help it. The traveler is her personal cutie, and it's only natural for her to treat them as such, isn't it?

Mona

She could easily tell right away that the traveler was someone special upon first glance. Mona sometimes dreams about them - especially about how they helped her out and landed her a place to stay in Mondstadt. She’s grateful for everything that the traveler has done, yet she’ll deny any feelings for them with a bright blush on her face.

Ningguang

The traveler is seen more as a pet. Ningguang is straight up the sugar mama type, and she openly flaunts it. Granted, she respects the traveler highly, but something about their being Liyue’s hero sounds very, very charming. Whether or not she makes a romantic move is entirely up to her, but it’s not out of the question.

Noelle

Needless to say, Noelle gets flustered fairly easily, so whenever the traveler shows affection and support towards her abilities, she somewhat short-circuits. She'll usually try to play off the fluttering in her heart and simply convince herself that the traveler is only being nice, but she can't deny the fact that she has feelings for them.

Qiqi

Another one that looks up to the traveler as an older sibling. She often refers to her notebook to remind herself as to why she likes them so much; they’re patient with her and genuinely try to help her remember things, plus they’ll bring her candies from Mondstadt sometimes.

Razor

Razor has no idea what romantic feelings are or how he should identify them. All he knows is that he gets excited whenever he sees the traveler, and his metaphorical tail wags furiously. He's keen on protecting them and bringing them food, plus he likes to lie next to them when they relax by the fire.

Rosaria

Like Diluc, Rosaria likes how the traveler isn’t full of shit and can actually put up a decent fight. However, she isn’t the type to compliment them, but rather points out how they can further hone their skills. If anything, she acts more like the traveler’s drunk aunt.

Sayu

She’s mostly indifferent towards the traveler, but - like with most people - she envies their height. Sayu appreciates that they don’t make fun of her size, plus they somehow always manage to find her when she’s hiding for her nap, so she’s fairly interested in what kind of person they are.

Sucrose

Like with most people, Sucrose is quite shy around the traveler, but for some reason she feels more comfortable around them than anyone else. She respects them much like she respects Albedo. She also thinks the traveler has a very nice smile.

Thoma

Thoma is another flirt, but he’s much more reserved in his ways. He’ll often make encouraging comments or flatter the traveler with a bright smile. His flirting either makes the traveler blush or it goes right over their head. There is no in between.

Venti

Venti has a slight... obsession for them. Not in a creepy way, but more in a clingy sense. He practically hangs from them whenever he's messing around, and he unashamedly writes them songs. Venti is also a big fan of hugs! When he's drunk, though, that's when things take a darker, more seductive turn...

Xiangling

Xiangling’s poor little heart goes doki doki whenever she gets to cook for the traveler, have them cook with her, or eat a meal that they prepared. The way to her heart is definitely through her stomach! It’s a fairly small crush since cooking is her true love in life, but if the traveler pops up at Wanmin Restaurant and specifically asks for her again… Oh boy.

Xiao

Secretly has feelings for the traveler, but he refuses to admit it. Xiao thinks feelings like these are a waste of time and only bring pain; since he's been through much and the ultimate emo, he's even more emotionally constipated than the normal person. Although he doesn't outright say it, he'll often show his affection through actions.

Xingqiu

Two words: library dates. Whether if it's meant to be romantic or not, Xingqiu has an affinity for those who show genuine intelligence and is willing to discuss stories with him. Xingqiu could literally sit there all day and listen to the traveler tell him about the different worlds he's been to. It's quite refreshing!

Xinyan

Like Venti, Xinyan will write songs for the traveler, but she's more timid about showing them since rock music has yet a long way to go in Liyue, much less in Teyvat. She'll casually invite them for a jam session and ask for their opinion on how her songs sound. All in all, she thinks the traveler is pretty rad 👀

Yanfei

Yanfei is very skilled and knowledgeable in a wide range of topics, but when it comes to the art of seduction… not so much. She isn’t entirely sure if she has affections towards the traveler or not, but she enjoys being in their company nonetheless. However… she may or may not have tried to teach them Liyue law while over tea 😅

Yoimiya

Thinks the traveler is a lot of fun! She was already interested by the mere fact that they were an outsider, but once they showed their worth and came to her aid, it really sealed the deal. Viewing fireworks with them was an incredibly crucial moment, and she’ll keep that memory stored in her heart for all time.

Zhongli

Zhongli is very protective of them and wants to spoil them, but at the same time, he's also very, very broke. It's not sugar daddy status, obviously, but he enjoys treating them out to a dinner or a night on the town. The traveler thinks he's doing it just to be nice, but Paimon calls bullshit.

[genshin-impact-writings]

Can I request some parenthood headcanons for Childe, Zhongli and Diluc pls? ❤️ Your blog is awesome, please don't let anyone tell you otherwise. ❤️

Thank you so much for your kind words, dear anon, I really appreciate it! <3 And your request is awesome, I absolutely loved writing these HCs, so I really hope you like them too. Have a great day/night and take care. <3

Feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated.

Characters: Tartaglia, Zhongli, Diluc

Parenthood HCs (gn!reader)

Tartaglia/Childe

This man absolutely adores his family, no matter if it’s about his siblings, his lovely partner (namely you) or your children, whether they’re your biological kids or adopted – he doesn’t care and loves them unconditionally either way. He also always wanted to start his own family, so that’s another reason why he’s so excited about being a father. A part of him is a bit worried though because he’s insecure if he’s really going to be a good father.

He never misses an opportunity to spoil his children and always sends them gifts and letters whenever he has to leave for a mission or anything like that. It pains him that he has to leave his family quite often, so he makes sure to at least keep close contact with letters but he’s also aware that they can’t really compensate for his long absence. However, there’s not much he can do about it since he’s still a Harbinger and needs to follow his orders, even if it means that he can’t be with you all the time. He has considered leaving the job to be there for you quite frequently though.

There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for his family. If someone dares to threaten your safety he won’t hesitate to eliminate them because he’d never allow anyone to harm you or his children. Your wellbeing is the most important thing to him, so he does everything in his power to keep you safe and happy. Whenever he can’t be there to protect you, he asks one of his subordinates to keep an eye on you instead.

He cherishes every second he can spend with his kids, especially when they’re still small. He absolutely loves to cuddle with them or read them bedtime stories since mundane things like these never fail to make him feel at ease completely. Sometimes, he even falls asleep in their bed because he just can’t part with them after they dozes off, and it’s actually one of the cutest things you’ve ever seen.

A part of him wants to teach his kids how to fight because it’s important to be able to defend oneself in the world you’re living it but at the same time, he wants them to enjoy their childhood to the fullest without having to worry about fighting and stuff like that. He’d also prefer to keep them away from violence as long as possible, although he knows that there’s no way he can shield them from everything.

Zhongli

To Zhongli, it was always out of the question that he wants to spend his life with you, no matter if you want to start a family or not. It’s a decision you can only make together and he respects your opinion, although he’d definitely love to have kids with you. It doesn’t matter if they’re yours biologically or if you decide to adopt – he loves them whole-heartedly, no ifs, no buts.

He isn’t an overly strict father as long as he doesn’t need to be. There are a few basic rules he wants his children to follow, for example bedtimes or how they should treat others but other than that, the kids have plenty of freedom to develop their personalities. However, he definitely expects that they don’t disregard the few rules they have. Zhongli is a pretty patient man but if he needs to be, he can also be quite strict.

He will always have a sympathetic ear for his children, no matter what happened. He wants them to know that they can always count on him, and it would definitely break his heart of he learned that they feel like they can’t talk to him when they made a mistake or have a problem. In this regard, he also reassures them that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of. He accepts if they don’t want to talk about what happened with him but he still encourages them to talk to someone else because it’s just not healthy to bottle it up and act like nothing ever happened.

Sharing stories about Liyue is something he really enjoys, so he definitely takes the time to teach your children about the past, especially when they’re still fairly young and incredibly curious about everything. Of course, he makes sure that the stories aren’t overly violent or anything like that, so you don’t have to worry about that. He loves to cuddle with them while he tells the stories, and it’s actually his favorite part of the day because it’s so cozy and peaceful, and he really indulges in that feeling.

Just like Tartaglia and Diluc, Zhongli does everything to keep his family safe. He’s well aware that the world can be a dangerous place and that there are people who don’t shy away from harming others to get what they want. Sometimes, he can get a bit overprotective but he just wants to make sure that you and the kids are safe and happy because he doesn’t know how he could ever forgive himself if he let anything happen to you.

Diluc

Diluc never considered himself a family man after the death of his father and the falling-out with Kaeya but that doesn’t mean that he’s completely against starting a family with you. He’s a bit insecure about the whole situation though because he just can’t see himself with children but he’s convinced that everything will be alright since you’re by his side and will always be there for him.

He’s incredibly supportive of his kids and encourages them to follow their dreams as long as they don’t hurt others on their paths. To him, it’s important that they grow up to be responsible and respectful individuals, so that’s also something he tries to teach them from a young age. Others often think that he’s quite strict because of that but Diluc just wants the best for his children and their future.

He makes sure that they know how much he loves them. Although he’s not one to tell them how much they mean to him all the time, he proves it to them with his actions. For example, he tries to be there every evening when it’s time for them to go to bed and tell them a bedtime story or cuddle with them until they fall asleep. Usually, he invited you to join in, so it mostly ends in an abundant cuddle session – which is actually his favorite part of the day.

Knowing that his family is waiting for him makes him extra cautious when he goes out to stop the Abyss Order. Since he lost his father pretty early he knows how painful it is to lose a parent and he definitely doesn’t want that for his children. However, he wouldn’t stop fighting the Abyss Order altogether because they’re a threat to Mondstadt and his family and he’d never allow anyone to harm those he loves the most. Your safety is so important to him and he’d do everything to protect you. It’s not easy for him to find the right balance between these things and family life but he definitely tries his best.

Diluc is pretty affectionate when it comes to his family and even more so when no one else is around. Whenever the kids demand a hug from their father he picks them up and wraps his arms around them because he simply can’t deny them anything. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for them, that’s for sure.

Taglist: @blissmal, @aimicoos, @childe-support, @rim0na, @somemothgoingferal

[kimtaegis]

Present feelings

Way too many words about everything that’s been on my mind about this fandom lately.

(Just diving right in with the most recent one)

Taking a joke as a non-15-year old

This whole James Corden debacle has been straight up embarrassing. That it even had to lead to that very awkward interview moment the other day is on another level of cringe-worthy. It was a joke, it was supposed to be superficial and stereotypical and it wasn’t even the punchline. How fragile must one be to feel so deeply offended by such a stupid joke that you send the entertainer, which most likely didn’t even write it himself, death threats? If I’d be offended by every single joke that has been made about Germans or whatever, I wouldn’t be able to laugh at all anymore. Most of the people who were so enraged by it probably wouldn’t have even known about the joke in the first place, wouldn’t it be for the absolute intimidating way news spread in this fandom. We may not all be 15 years old, but some sure behave that age.

And on top of this already horrendous behaviour, it actually led to this week’s interview. The fact that Namjoon actively addressed it, that he knew about it, is just horrible. My perception of this may be very different to those of many, but did you ever think about BTS wanting to address it, not Corden, because they wanted to stop James getting hate because of it? However it may be, I feel so ashamed to be in a fandom where people lose any kind of dignity and respect over a harmless joke, and I am disappointed that BTS didn’t comment on the death threats statement at all. This is so wrong, and they know about it, and they stay silent, which indiretcly encourages these kind of actions. Personally, I also don’t see why James Corden should apologise to the boys for a joke which wasn’t attacking them as people or anything the like, he simply used a very common gag that has been made about the fans of boybands for decades. We all know that this isn’t true, so why act like an actual teenager about it? Don’t we know better?

Being a fan while not being a fan of Everything

I love the boys with my whole heart. I love their personalities, their content, their music, what they stand for. And I still don’t like Permission to Dance. I also don’t like DNA, or their latest red carpet fashion choices, or some of their hair cuts. It seems like many people aren’t aware that one can have different tastes and preferences and opinions. I’m sure that everyone has at least one trait in a friend that they don’t enjoy so much or can’t relate to, does that mean you hate them, and that you shouldn’t be friends with them anymore? Not be there for them anymore, not support them anymore? I hope the answer is obvious. We don’t owe these men anything, we don’t get paid to promote every single thing they do, no, we do this fandom thing for fun in our free time, and it is our choice how we do it. Feel free to mass stream if that brings you joy, but please don’t call anyone out on how they are being a fan. Don’t forget people have lives outside this fandom too, real life problems, and that those can affect their fandom experiences as well. I still wonder why anyone would care for my life so much that they’d lecture me about how I have to like my favourite boyband. This is no one’s business but my own, and I hate to admit that I fairly often feel like I have to react and act a certain way when e.g. new content drops, or otherwise I’ll get unfollowed or even called a fake fan.

Grammys, Scammys, losing my jammies

Regarding more recent events, I once again am baffled about the extent in which fans want to protect these grown-up men as if they’re their flesh and blood (more to that in the next “chapter”), and seem to sometimes completely lose theirselves in their argumentations. Cue: The Grammys.

I am absolutely no music industry expert by any means, but I do know the difference between the AMA’s and Grammys. The first is purely fan-voted, so I was surprised that apparently many other fans were so surprised about them winning Artist of the Year this time. Wasn’t it very predictable? They have the biggest fandom in the world behind them, they’ll win any award that can be voted by their fans at this point. Anyways, then there’s the Grammys, where, and I will say apparently, actual professional people of the music industry get to decide who wins. And again, I’m just a casual listener who doesn’t know anything about musical engineering or production, but maybe, just maybe, from a professional point of view, Butter is simply not a good song? Never in a million years would nor could I compare it to the masterpieces that were on their earlier albums, so how would a committee feel about it? Yes, it was on number one for weeks, and broke records, but I’m very sure that the way fans interacted with the song doesn’t play any kind of role for the Grammys at all. You’d hope that the people who get to decide on the nominees and winners are taking actual quality of the songs in consideration after all, but well, seeing how many nominations Justin Bieber has once again received this year, I am still agreeing to the general statement that the Grammys are bought and unfair and should simply be ignored for the sake of everyone who enjoys good music. I wish BTS would finally realise this too and would stop with their Grammy-winning/Americanisation-agenda; it plays with their minds and with the quality of their music.

Don’t tell my mom I’m in a cult

I’ve been in quite a few fandoms before, from films to series to other bands. And never, never have I felt this awful as in this fandom. Additionally to everything I said in prior “chapters” comes this dreading feeling of pressure I get from most of the other fans. The pressure to stream, to get them to win every award, to get them to the top of every chart, to let them break records. All I see is numbers sometimes, numbers numbers numbers, and the actual music gets lost in a sea of clicks and likes. And so does individuality, and originality, and once again – quality. To pick up the analogy of friendship again, and it may be a personal opinion, but I hope it isn’t; I would always want my friends to be honest with me, to tell me if I messed up, to give me room to improve by being critical with me. I would never expect them to like everything I say and do, but to know that in the end they got my back and want the best for me, that’s what’s important. What I want to say is: I simply do not understand how so many people can so blindly follow and obsessively enjoy everything BTS do. Maybe I’m just bitter and too depressed to feel the same, sure, I won’t deny that. Being able to hype up everything they do would definitely make things easier, looking at how you get treated if you express just a breath of criticism. But this can’t be it. If everything they do gets hyped up, even if it’s questionsable as hell (e.g. them collaborating with McDonald’s this year, them holding concerts in an ongoing pandemic), then how will they be able to ever self-reflect and improve themselves? Many may think so, but they aren’t gods. They are humans who make mistakes too, and I think as a fan, you should also be allowed to acknowledge that.

Oh you’re a content creator? I’m sorry.

Being a BTS content creator on top of all these things makes everything worse, when it should be the opposite. I love making gifs and graphics, and I love the boys, so it should actually be a win, but once again the community sucks every bit of joy out of it. Considering the size of this fandom, the notes on original posts are ridiculously low in comparison, you have to self-reblog your own stuff about 8 times or hope to get reblogged by big blogs to get about 10% of your followers to interact with it (at least in my case), the like button is an absolute disgrace and should be banned, and the audacity some people have to repost others’ creations is unbelievable. I spend days on birthday edits, change colourings 5 times before posting, and for what? For people to fully ignore them or to put dumb comments under them? To develop disgustingly envious and competitive thoughts towards other creators at the end of the day? I’m aware that not everyone will like everyone’s style of content and I don’t expect that, but hell, if you already liked it, why not take those three seconds to reblog it too? You can make someone’s day by doing that, trust me. You can also enjoy posts about non-recent content! I really feel like emphasising that, since no one seems to care about anything that hasn’t been posted an hour after the content’s release.

Wrappin’ up

I know that this post is highly negative, but I had to get it out. I had to, and I have to say that I am mentally ill (<3) and everything seems to suck all the time in general, but I’m convinced that there’re people out there who can maybe relate to some things nevertheless. I need to end this on a positive note, though – I love them. And I love how they can make me feel, and most of these things I talked about are obviously not even related to them directly. I met one of my best friends through them, and so many other amazing people. I will try to always come back to these facts, to remember the good sides, and to enjoy this hell of a ride as much as I can.

[wlwcarries]

i'm becoming more and more convinced that charlie's dms are real. i’m going to give you guys the evidence there is so far, for you all to make your own conclusions. personally, as much as i hate to say it, i think the dms are real.

i want to preface this by saying that i hoped as much as everyone else that the screenshots were fake. i honestly debated even posting about it at this point because everyone seems to have made their peace that they’re fabricated and moved on, and i don’t want to start or rehash anything. i promise you, i hated making this post as much as you guys are probably going to hate reading this. but i feel like we as a fandom deserve to know and address the truth, and choosing to ignore this will only do more harm than good.

there are two tiktoks showing proof of the messages: here and here

it’s pretty clear imo that charlie sent those messages in that group chat. there’s publicly available information proving a lot of what i’m going to talk about, but i’m not going to expose anyone especially since a lot of the people involved are minors. if you want to talk more about it, feel free to dm me but i’m not going to post anything publicly beyond those tiktoks. 

so yeah. charlie talked about smut in a group chat with at least one confirmed minor as far as we know. in the screenshot you can see that someone explained what smut was to him, and then he continued on talking about the explicit fic. 

i know that a lot of us on here, myself included, love to harp on l*lex shippers, and while the racism involved with the ship should by no means pushed aside that's also not my biggest concern at the moment. a lot of these people are young teenage girls and there’s a clear power imbalance involved. they’re fans, and he’s an adult man who they look up to. yes, they shouldn’t have sent the fic to him in the first place, but charlie’s an adult and should have known better than to encourage this. this is on him. he really can’t see that interacting and talking about sexually explicit material with minors isn’t alright??? is he that scared of his fans turning on him if he doesn’t act like he’s their close personal friend???

he needs to realize that he’s not going to lose his fanbase if he establishes boundaries with them. honestly, there’s more of a chance that he’ll lose them if he doesn’t establish boundaries. other people said this better than me (i’d like to link chloe @willexx’s post here which makes a lot of really important points regarding this as well as discussing madi, and this post by @reggieshairflip which goes really in depth into a lot of great points), but this is really concerning. 

i also went on twitter last night to see what people were saying on there, and i’m beyond words. the majority of the commentary seems to be along the lines of “protect charlie from the smut!!” 

y’all. charlie isn’t the one who needs protecting. regardless of the legal situation, if he wants to read fanfic he’s gonna find ways to read it. he’s a grown man, he’ll be fine. that’s so far removed from the actual point, i don’t know how else to explain it. charlie will be fine. we don’t have to be worried about him. 

maybe people should focus on the fact that he’s talking about smut in a group chat with minors on it? like first off, don't be in a group chat with fans of your show, but especially don't talk about smut with minors, what the fuck. and the fact that he doesn’t even seem to realize the issues with what he’s doing is troubling in and of itself.

charlie has been involved in various other groupchats with fans for a while (this isn’t a new thing by any means), and i will admit that most of those interactions thus far have been innocent and harmless. regardless, the fact that he’s in group chats with fans at all worries me. these people are largely young, teenaged girls who idolize charlie--they’ve practically developed a parasocial relationship with him, and that’s not healthy in the slightest. 

he’s not their “bestie,” he’s a celebrity. he keeps up with the innocent and harmless things, and encourages them, but doesn’t establish boundaries--and that’s what leads to people thinking that doing more is okay because he hasn’t said otherwise. people meeting him at the airport at 2am, fans showing up to owen’s house at midnight and then charlie entertaining them. that’s what this kind of behavior leads to, and i fear that it will inevitably lead to much worse in the future. i’m not trying to take blame away from the people who did these things--fans have to respect boundaries, set or not--but as a public figure charlie has a responsibility to set clear lines.

the point of this post is absolutely not to “cancel” him or anything. that wouldn’t be productive at all, and one of my favorite things about the jatp fandom on tumblr is our ability to have actually constructive conversations about things like this. this is tumblr, and i know i’m basically speaking to an echo chamber here-- but i feel this is important enough that it has to be said, even if nobody outside of this site will probably see it. 

he needs to be held accountable and made to realize that what he’s doing isn’t okay. i get that this is his first experience being at the center of a large fandom like this, and i understand that he’s probably really excited about all the fans and wants to connect with them as much as possible. but he would do well to take notes from jeremy (and hell, madi, and she’s sixteen and didn’t have any prior acting experience at all), and engage in a healthy, responsible way like they do. i’m not going to speak about owen because i don’t really have much info or knowledge about how he interacts, but this potentially extends to him as well.

this is a really complicated and messy situation, and i get that. feel free to share your thoughts, but please be respectful. sending love to all of you guys rn 💜💜💜

EDIT: TO CLARIFY. i have seen this post making the rounds on twitter. i’m okay with that as long as it’s not a screenshot and the post is directly linked HOWEVER charlie did not straight up send smut to that group chat. they sent him the title, and he looked the fic up and sent the link in the group chat to clarify it was the one they were talking about. he was informed that it was smut, but it wasn’t just him sending the fic unprovoked. everything i said above still applies, he should not have engaged or encouraged the conversation but please don’t spread false information. 

[transmalewife]

Alright, let's talk about attachment

I can’t find clear information on when exactly the non-attachment rule was added to the code. It was either soon before or soon after the great sith war. Either way, for the VAST majority of the existence of the Jedi, it wasn’t a thing. Jedi got married and had families for over 20000 years, then added the non-attachment rule, which ultimately led to their destruction. And before anyone tries to tell me I believe they deserved to be genocided, I don’t. I have never actually seen anyone say that, but I see people argue against it constantly, and imply anyone who doesn’t think the Jedi were perfect and blameless thinks that. I don’t think they deserved to die, I think they needed to change. And Yoda says that himself, many times. The Jedi weren’t prepared for the return of the sith, or the war. They had separated from the military 1000 years before, and the galaxy was in relative peace all this time, so the order’s role changed to one that worked very well with their rules. Detachment meant they could be impartial when overseeing political disagreements, lack of possessions meant they would be focused on the mission at hand and not prone to taking bribes, and distancing themselves from the general population meant they were more or less uniform, and could be trusted not to side with someone for personal reasons.

All of this falls apart once they become an army again. Impartiality is a flaw when they have to defend one side at all cost and not even allow themselves to consider compromise. Lack of possessions and attachment to people means they are prone to taking unnecessary risks, because they have nothing to lose, and do things like send 14 year olds into battle, thinking of the “greater good” over the safety of children. And the order being a monolith, with set rules and philosophy distinct from the rest of the population meant the Jedi trusted Dooku long after they should have stopped, because he used to be a Jedi after all, surely he still follows the code.

Now, I am not saying non-attachment is always bad, I think it served a very specific purpose in the order, and to some extent worked for many years. However.

Humans are a social species. Human babies NEED physical contact and affection to develop physically. Children need a stable, strong, and supportive relationship to their caregiver to properly develop psychologically. And after last year I don’t think anyone will argue that adults don't need connection with other people just as much. And not just shallow interactions, but open affection and love. Love of any kind, because claiming that the Jedi only forbid romantic love is just untrue. I think people tend to forget that "Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi's life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love." isn’t the actual doctrine, it’s a literal pick up line that Anakin uses on Padme.

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan both get criticized by other Jedi for their entirely platonic attachment to Anakin, and vice versa. Now, humans are the most common species in the galaxy, and in the Jedi order. Many other species are near-human, so it’s safe to assume at least some, if not most of them also need that companionship and affection to develop and live happy and stable lives. I do believe that non-attachment is a valid philosophy and chosen path in life if done carefully and within reason, I just don’t think we have a single major character that actually applies to. And chosen is an important word here. Jedi don’t get much of a choice. I’m not trying to start the baby-stealing debate here. I hear the argument of ‘force sensitives are dangerous if left untrained, and said training should start as early as possible’. I think finding a way to deal with that problem was an insanely complicated decision, and taking children into the temple as young as possible is not a bad solution. I don’t entirely agree with not letting them see their families later, (especially since in legends Obi-Wan was allowed to visit his family, which implies Anakin couldn’t go free his mother specifically because he was already too attached), but the idea is sound. I do also understand that no one is forcing Jedi to stay in the order and they can leave for whatever reason at any time. But that isn’t exactly a free choice either. Leaving the order means leaving the only home you remember, the only people you know to make your own way in the galaxy, and staying with those people means you can never fully love them. It’s a difficult solution to a complicated question, and for the most part, it worked (not always, and not exactly as intended, but I’ll come back to that.) Children grew up in the order, were trained to control themselves and the force, and became Jedi who were impartial, patient, and balanced. But everything falls apart when you introduce someone who wasn’t raised in the temple.

In The Rising Force, 13 year old Obi-Wan had barely been off Coruscant in his life. He describes himself as sheltered and unaware of all the pain in the galaxy, and says it was done on purpose, so younglings wouldn’t have to face the dark side before they were ready for it. But Anakin had seen nothing but darkness, pain and injustice before he joined the order. He was severely traumatized, and while the temple might have had some ways of dealing with trauma and PTSD in adults, they had no experience in treating the same in a child, because their children were kept safe and protected. The idea of letting go of your pain and fear only works if you know you have a safe place to come back to, if you’ve spent the first decade or so of your life in the most protected place in the galaxy. Anakin spent the first decade of his life as a slave. He couldn’t let go of his fear, because fear was what kept him alive. Fear is not irrational if you are constantly in danger, it’s what protects you, keeps you aware of the limits you can push before you get punished. And that mindset doesn’t fade just because you’re out of that situation, especially if your only family, the closest person to you, is still facing that danger every day.

I’ve seen people use every excuse possible to explain why Anakin didn’t see his mother again to avoid blaming the council, including, and I shit you not, “He just didn’t have her comm number”. But to me that seems disingenuous, when we see in his first meeting with the council that they already consider him too attached. It's one of the main reasons they don’t want him to be trained, so it seems logical that they wouldn’t allow him to see her once he became a padawan. I also want to mention that what Yoda says, “Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Is just… blatant catastrophizing. Right? Like we can all see that the escalation is not rational there at all. Maybe it could apply to something else, but not to a child who just left his mother for the first time in his life and went from a tiny dustball in the middle of nowhere to the most populated planet in the galaxy, and is now being tested by a bunch of old people with the power to decide his future. Obviously he’s afraid, and obviously he’s not dealing with it the way Jedi younglings do. That, in and of itself doesn't doom him to fall. Also what Yoda misses there is that suffering leads to fear. This is a closed loop, and one that has defined Anakin’s entire childhood.

Let’s come back to how the system doesn’t always work. The way I see it, most of the characters we see are attached. Obi-Wan is considered one of the greatest Jedi of his time. Windu describes him as “our most cunning and insightful Master—and our most tenacious”. And yet, he was not insightful enough to look past his love for Anakin, his attachment, and see how close to falling he was. Ahsoka was so attached to Anakin she refused to listen to Maul on Mandalore, refused to even consider the posibility he could fall. She was arguably the person with the best shot at preventing the empire forming at that point, and she loved anakin so much she doomed him and the entire galaxy. Aayla admitted to thinking of Quinlan as her father, and also, apparently in legends had a long relationship with Kit. Even Mace didn’t follow the code when he decided to kill Palpatine, which directly led to his death and the empire. He also indirectly caused the war to start. According to wookiepedia “Windu viewed Dooku as the shatterpoint of the entire Separatist movement, which meant striking Dooku down would theoretically end the imminent clone war before it even began. However, Windu's prior attachments to Dooku clouded his judgment.” I’m not even going to mention Kanan and Ezra, who are obviously family.

So basically everyone is attached and lying about it. How has no one thought that maybe this isn’t the healthiest way to live and tried to change the code? Well, I have a theory, and it’s Yoda. He was 900 years old when he died, and was on the council for the vast majority of his life. I can’t find when exactly he became grand master, but it’s safe to assume he held some degree of power over the entire order for most of a millennium. At the end of TPM he tells Obi-Wan “Confer on you the level of Jedi knight, the council does. But agree with your taking this boy as your padawan learner, I do not.” Then he reverses that decision by himself. So either he has the power to veto the council’s word, or who gets trained is entirely up to him. Either way, not great, considering his lifespan is so much longer than most Jedi, and therefore his approach to life is vastly different. Humans need love and closeness to live. However, while we don’t know much about Yoda’s species, it probably isn’t a social one. You could count all the characters of this species on two (human) hands, and Yoda lived in complete isolation for 20 years on Dagobah, and only went a little bit insane. They are naturally rare, and therefore probably lead solitary lives in nature. Moreover, Yoda outlived every master who trained him, and almost every padawan he trained himself, (there’s a great post about that here) so even if he wasn’t naturally predisposed to non-attachment, he would have had to learn it to deal with all the loss he had to live through over the years.

A lot of people think that Anakin fell because he had attachments, which is not true. He fell because of how his attachments played out and/or ended. The most obvious example being Palpatine, who used Anakin’s trust and friendship to groom him for over a decade and actively undermine Anakin’s trust towards anyone else, especially the order. (more on that here). Obi-Wan refused to take on the role of a father figure that Anakin tried to shove him into, so he turned to someone who did accept it. It’s not Anakin’s fault that it turned out to be the worst person alive, nor can we expect him to notice when he’s known Palpatine since he was a child. Another failure of jedi non-attachment, because a loving parent or guardian would not let their child be used as a bargaining chip when the most powerful politician in the galaxy blackmailed the order into allowing him to meet Anakin regularly, but a distant teacher and detached knight thinking of the greater good might. The other attachments Anakin had were taken from him (Shmi and Ahsoka, the last orchestrated by Palpatine who was fully ready to give her the death penalty to make Anakin more unstable), or he was forced to lie and hide them, compromising his vows as a Jedi (Padme) or refused to choose Anakin over the order/their principles (Obi-Wan, and again Ahsoka, and to some extent Padme, but he’d already fallen then). All these people had every right to make the choices they made, but it wasn’t the act of loving them that made Anakin turn to the dark side, it was how those attachments played out.

I think everyone agrees that Yoda is as detached as a Jedi should, if not can, be, and that didn’t prevent Dooku from falling. We see that explored in more detail with Barriss and Luminara. Luminara is detached and distant, she’s fond of Barriss, but their relationship is not familial in the slightest, and she repeatedly shows her willingness to put the greater good and the mission before Barriss’ safety and even life. And yet Barriss still falls. A complex combination of events and choices caused each of those characters to fall, not the simple presence or absence of attachment.

And lastly, just as attachment can make you unstable if your relationship with that person is unstable, it can also make you stronger. There is a reason Anakin and Obi-Wan were the face of the army. Not only did their obvious attachment (the strongest between two jedi we are shown) make them more relatable to the public, but they, when working as a team, are shown repeatedly to be more or less undefeatable. They spend half of aotc flinging themselves off great heights because they know the other will be there to catch them. They know from years of experience that they have backup and they know each other well enough (or force bond communicate) that they can trust the other will be where he needs to be to help/save them. Contrast that to how Windu and Palpatine fight in rots once the window breaks- very carefully, clearly holding back to keep themselves safe. Neither of them has backup until Anakin arrives, but until the last second they can't be sure which one he will choose. Anakin and Obi-Wan fight the same way on Mustafar, especially when balancing on that thin bridge. No acrobatics, swinging arms to keep balance, keeping their distance, being almost uncharacteristically careful compared to how they treated heights in aotc, in tcw, and on the invisible hand in rots, because they both know the other won't catch them if they fall this time.