#however do you love me enough not to be a deadbeat

[salaimoi]

𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒅𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 — 𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒆 𝒆𝒊𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒉

[˚୨୧⋆. 𝒔𝒚𝒑𝒏𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒔] after his wife’s death, you became toji fushiguro’s only reliant shoulder. however, unbeknownst to you, your deceased friend’s ex-husband had ulterior motives in mind when he began to pursue you.

[˚୨୧⋆. 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆] angst

[˚୨୧⋆. 𝒘𝒄] 2.k

[˚୨୧⋆. 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔] yellow is reader’s pov, blue is toji’s pov. it might sound repetitive and rushed bc i just wanted to get this out of my drafts. i know billie’s song came out like ages ago so it wouldn’t make sense to release this any later than it already is

𓂃 ོ𓂃 Things fall apart, and time breaks your heart. I wasn't there, but I know.

toji always reassured you a million times; he wasn’t heartbroken over his split with his ex-wife, not in the slightest. he rarely opened up about his past, let alone his previous relationships. and yet, deep down, you knew he hadn’t properly processed their rupture.

the most he ever disclosed to you was the fact that there was nothing left to salvage in his old relationship — so he moved on, and so did she. 

but was that the entire truth? 

you noticed the prolonged glances he would take when opening his wallet. the empty look behind his eyes when he stared down at his naked ring finger. even the faint sniffling at night that he tried convincing you were nothing more than allergies. but you knew he was silently mourning her. 

her – the real love of his life.

She was my girl. I showed her the world, but fell out of love and we both let go. ⋆࿐

i made it my life goal to tend to her happiness. the only reason for my very existence was to see that she had everything she could ever want. hell, that’s the only thing i’ve ever been good at.

i never kept anything from her — except my line of work. i couldn’t bring myself to tell her the man she fell in love with was a deadbeat mercenary who bathed in the blood of others for a living. as much as i tried to protect her from that side of my life, she eventually went digging her nose where it wasn’t needed. 

the aftermath of her discovering the truth about my hidden agenda came at the price of our relationship. 

she couldn’t withstand the constant pain of being by my side any longer, to turn in bed only to see a bastard by her side. she wholeheartedly believed that the man that now stood before her was no longer the one she fell in love with. 

somehow i didn’t blame her.

She was cryin’ on my shoulder. All I could do was hold her.

i still remember it so vividly — how her body trembled against mine like a leaf. tears coursed down her cheeks as she clung to me like a lifeline, seeking comfort in the midst of her anguish. as selfish as it may sound, the weight of her sorrow became almost too much to bear. 

i couldn't offer excuses or apologies; these were empty gestures that wouldn't alleviate the agony she felt at that moment. instead, i stood there, silently holding her, offering my presence as the only comfort.

the guilt washed over me in waves as i cradled her, feeling her heart shatter a little more with each sob. i knew i was the cause of her pain, yet i couldn’t tell her the whole truth. all i could do was hold her, wishing i could undo the past.

𓂃 ོ𓂃 Only made us closer until July.

the moment he began pursuing you when enough time had gone by, it immediately felt wrong. he was your friend’s ex-husband, after all. toji had never looked at you twice before, and now, he suddenly had lustful eyes for you? 

you eventually conceded because you wanted to be there for him, giving him the benefit of the doubt that he had no ulterior motives. but one way or another, every conversation at dinner circled back to her. 

“oh she loved mashed potatoes.” 

“fun fact, she had a strawberry allergy.” 

“did you know this brand of vanilla ice cream was her favorite?”

and as much as it pained you, you became a reliant ear for him — someone who would listen to all the little details he swore he had forgotten the day she divorced him. even if every bone in your body wanted to run in the opposite direction, far, far away from him, you stayed. 

maybe all he needs is time, you told yourself.

right?

Now I know that you love me. You don't need to remind me. I should put it all behind me, shouldn't I? ⋆࿐

your affection always remained a constant in my turbulent world, like a gentle rain that falls softly even amidst the storm. but the longer the internal storm went on, the more ravenous the regret and guilt raged on. i found myself unable to fully comprehend the depth of your love for me, but deep down, i knew that your love was unwavering. 

i knew that in order to truly move on, i had to let go of the past and embrace the present; you represented that fresh start i so urgently needed. but the thought of her still lingered, a constant reminder of what once was but should no longer be. it was as if i was being consumed by my own memories, unable to break free. as if a part of me still longed for the past. 

the weight of my conflicting emotions burdened my every waking moment, leading me to push you away with no explanation. feelings for the both of you coexisted, and i couldn't fully commit to one without betraying the other. every time i looked at you, guilt would wash over me for putting you through this hell.

 likewise, every time i looked at her picture, i felt like a traitor for ever moving on as soon as i did.

But I see her in the back of my mind all the time. Just like a fever, like I’m burning alive, like a sign. ⋆࿐

beneath the mask of indifference, i was plagued by shame. it was hard to accept that the girl who once consumed my thoughts was no longer part of my life, and looking at you, i realized that your love knew no bounds; that wasn’t enough for me. 

i hadn’t stopped loving her. 

it felt like a fever that never broke. an unrelenting heat that burned deep inside me, reminding me of the girl who dwelled in the back of my mind all those years ago.

every word about my past, every little detail about my ex, felt like a confession at church – a church where my sins would be revealed to the world. 

talking about my past wouldn’t magically absolve me of my past, now would it? redemption was never an option for me, and i wasn’t asking for it. instead of trying to cleanse myself of my history, i decided to leave it all behind like a forgotten box in an attic. 

𓂃 ོ𓂃 Well, good things don't last, and life moves so fast. I'd never ask who was better 'cause she couldn't be more different from me.

he told you to let it go — to let it die like she did that fateful day. it was no use keeping her memory alive, he said, but if that was the case, why did he take her last name months later? 

not to mention they spent years together — even conceived a child together; a child he named after her, but that detail never seemed to make its way to you. 

everyone told you to stop comparing yourself, but how could you not? she was everything you weren’t even after death: soft spoken, graceful, gentle, patient, loving. 

you didn’t dare ask such a redundant question so you didn’t voice it, but your continuous comparison to her was eating you alive; toji noticed it. you hadn’t slept with him in almost a month, internally afraid he’ll blurt out her name instead of yours.

𓂃 ོ𓂃 And I know that you love me. you don't need to remind me.

he went out of his way to send more ‘i love u’ messages than before; they seemed forced, just like your relationship. 

she had previously informed you of things that found their way to the most profound recesses of your mind. you didn’t flinch at the time, because you were mesmerized that he did such things for her, but it affected you later on. 

you learned bitter truths that made you doubt his love for you. and when you finally realized he didn’t do any of the things she spoke of, it dawned on you; toji didn’t love you. 

not like he loved her. 

𓂃 ོ𓂃 You say no one knows you so well but every time you touch me, I just wonder how she felt.

you’d stay up late at night countless times wondering what toji’s affectionate touch actually felt like. it was something only she ever knew, and you’d do anything to get a semblance of that feeling. 

but it was obvious no one knows the real him — not like she did.

despite everything, you decided to give this relationship one last try by booking a hotel for the both of you. everything inside you screamed that it was a horrible idea, but you did it anyway.

𓂃 ོ𓂃 Valentine's Day, cryin’ in the hotel. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me, so I kept it to myself.

and he finally did it. he mistakenly blurted out her name on the most romantic day of the year. 

“i-i’m sorry.” toji rushed to apologize, grabbing a hold of your arm so you wouldn’t walk out the door.

“I wonder, do you see HER in the back of your mind, in my eyes!?” was the only thing you could force yourself to reply in that moment, breaking away from his grip in the process.  

“i do,” toji dejectedly admits with a hint of sorrow behind his voice. or was it indignity?

he pauses, absentmindedly digging his nails into the tender flesh of his balled up fist as he grapples with his conscience. all along, he knew the day to finally hold himself accountable would come, but he didn’t think it would’ve been like this. 

his mind involuntarily wandered, and in the depths of your gaze, he saw glimpses of his deceased wife — a ghost that lingered in the back of his subconscious even after all this time.  

memories of her flood his mind, and for a brief moment, the both of you merge into one — his past and present colliding into one. the familiar shade of your irises, the identical shine behind them, the bright glimmer of light behind them when you smiled — all of it brought a pang of bittersweet nostalgia to him. 

silence overtook the room like a storm, and with it, your heart. so he does see a reflection of his dead wife when he stares into your eyes — the eyes he promised captivated him to no bounds. 

“was all of it a lie, then?” 

“no.” 

“how was it not a lie, toji?”

“it wasn’t a lie, doll-“ 

“don’t call me that.” you interrupt him with words almost sharp enough to cut him, a slight tremble behind your voice. 

tears immediately welled up in the delicate corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. his expression softened at the sight; however, his reluctance to approach you remained. he knew he was the reason behind your hurt, just like he was the cause of hers all that time ago. history does indeed repeat itself, doesn’t it? 

he wished he could find the words that would help ease your pain — the exhaustion and heartache you felt. to take it all away with a mere sentence, that would be quite incredible. but that’s not how life works.

“okay.” he finally whispered, inhaling a deep breath in a mix of defeat and remorse before continuing. “i promise none of it was a lie; i meant every word. i really meant it when i said i adored your eyes…” 

he dry swallows a couple of times, as if doing so would suppress the sorrow lodged in his throat. his eyes darted around the room, as to not meet your own out of the unbearable guilt that simply refused to be consumed. 

the hesitation behind his subtle actions was a telltale that there was a ‘but’ hidden underneath the surface-level flattery. and with an equal amount of incertitude and delay behind your own words, alongside with a hoarse voice, you brace yourself for the moment he finally admits this so-called love of yours was nothing but an illusion.

“but?” 

“…but they’re not her eyes.” 

part 2 here.

[cleoluvrr]

high school sweethearts (rafe cameron x reader) III

these are the requirements, if you think you can be my one true love

WARNINGS: mature content; dark!rafe, dub!con, corporal punishment, domestic violence, substance abuse & addiction, controlling behavior, coercion, manipulative behavior, stalking, toxic relationship, attempted suicide, kook!reader

masterlist

series masterlist

in spite of your refusal, rafe decided that the two of you were going shopping. it was the last thing you wanted to do, but rafe had an obsession with showing you off to everyone who had working eyes.

ironically, he didn’t hate when men looked at you–at least not while he was around. he loved it. he got a rush from watching other guys ogle you and know they could never have you. you hated public affection, but he loved to kiss you or walk around with his hand dangerously low on your back wherever you went just for wandering eyes.

fancy dinners, midsummers, the country club, charity events; anything that he got parade you around like a prized showhorse. you were sure rafe only took you to those things just to rub it in his father’s face. the child with a reputation of being a drug dealing deadbeat had a smart, well-mannered, soft-spoken girl hanging off his arm everywhere he went. one with reputable parents and was pursuing a college education. it made ward red in the face to know that someone like you was committed to his son, and it made your boyfriend feel overjoyed.

today was no different–not at first.

the last place you wanted to be was in a shopping center filled with rich kids and tourons, but rafe insisted that he wanted to buy you new clothes for the rapidly cooling weather. fall was in full swing and he refused to have his girlfriend walking around town in out-of-season fashion. it made no sense to you; rafe never cared about fashion being in or out of season, but you didn’t feel like putting up a fight.

the exhaustion of pulling your clothes on and off repeatedly was starting to overcome you. your skin was sticky and itchy from the hot fitting rooms, your feet were aching from the mary janes squeezing against your toes, and all the noise was overstimulating you. 

usually, you wouldn’t complain. you would just suck it up until rafe decided to take pity on you and bring you home with pounds worth of shopping bags that you didn’t even want in the first place. it was just something you had to do and there was no use in fighting him on it.

this time, however, you weren’t in any mood to be pulled around by rafe beneath the fluorescent, sterile lights of a crowded mall. 

after the second hour you began huffing and dragging your feet. you were sure rafe noticed, but he said nothing; you were still going along with it enough for him to leave it alone. it was hour three that you actually began to put up noticeable resistance. still he said nothing.

you hoped that your incessant whining would annoy him enough to take you home, but it was of no assistance.

your shoes clicked against the linoleum floor loudly as you stomped behind your boyfriend, jaw clenched and lips jutted out in a glossy pout. rafe’s fingers laced through yours as he led you around, paying no mind to your silent tantrum. you exhaled again, feet planting firmly into the ground as you tugged your hand away from him.

that was what made the blonde finally turn back to face you.

“i wanna go home, rafe.” you folded your arms across your chest as you said it, eyes wide and glaring up at your boyfriend just a few steps away.

he rolled his eyes in response, tongue in cheek. he was clearly annoyed, but you continued pushing anyway.

“we can leave soon, baby.” he reaches for your hand again but you step back to avoid his grasp. a pair of blue eyes squint at you in reaction to your act of defiance.

“don’t ‘baby’ me.” you snipped at him. “i wanna leave now, rafe. i’m tired–i didn’t even want to come here in the first place.”

he reaches for you again silently, his silent response only managing to irritate you further. you smacked his hand away before it landed on your waist.

“don’t fucking touch me!” a few people nearby turned their heads in your direction, your raised volume capturing the attention of passerbyers. “you’re not even listening! i just said i wanna go home now, we’ve been here long enough and i’m fucking irritated.”

rafe hardly seemed moved by your outburst, but his calmness was deceiving to the average onlooker. looking down at the hand you smacked away, his head slowly raised to meet your eyes with a look that had you struggling to collect saliva to wet your dry mouth.

the two of you held the tense contact for what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds. nodding at you, he moved to walk in the opposite direction towards the mall’s entrance. his strong hand snatched you into his hold as he passed by you, long legs leaving you stumbling behind him as he stalked through the center.

rafe’s anger was radiating off of him in waves, so strong that anyone passing by could feel the heat filling the air. he never looked back at you once, but you felt as if he had a second pair of eyes in the back of his head that left your skin boiling. 

though his demeanor was calm, the bone-crushing grip he held on your hand as he dragged you through the mall was enough to know you were in for it. 

you, on the other hand, couldn’t help the chill that ran through every layer of your being. it was hard to tell if your heart had stopped beating completely, or if it was beating so fast that you couldn’t differentiate each thump of it against your chest. your mouth had gone completely dry and the irritation that once filled you was now replaced with a heavy cloak of dread.

reaching his dark colored truck, rafe opened the back door to place the shopping back in the back seat before slamming it shut. the harsh sound made you flinch but rafe paid it no mind as he dragged you to the passenger’s side. your lips were tucked into your mouth tightly as you eyed him warily, the blond man tugging at the handle to reveal your seat in the car. 

the drive to his house was as uncomfortable as you thought it would be. he didn’t turn the radio on like usual, forcing you to sit in silence as you traveled to your destination. it was five minutes in that you realized you weren’t going to your own house like you requested. the realization made your stomach drop. you knew that it meant nothing good was going to happen once you stepped out of the car.

the driveway was empty when the two of you arrived at tannyhill, neither rose or ward anywhere in sight as you approached the large estate. 

your footsteps were light and hesitant as you trailed behind your boyfriend, shoes barely making a sound as they landed against the old floors of his family’s house. the feeling of dread intensified the closer you got to rafe’s bedroom. you weren't sure what would happen and the feeling of unknowing unsettled your stomach.

“y’know…” rafe finally broke the silence between you two as his bedroom door clicked shut. “i do so much for you.”

sitting the shopping bags down in the corner, rafe takes slow steps towards your frozen figure. you sniffed nervously and cleared your throat in response. he places a warm hand on your face when he reaches you, the soft gesture not matching the fire in his eyes. 

“i do so much for you. all i ask you to do for me…is show some respect.” his pink tongue pokes out the side of his mouth to wet his lips before retreating. “isn’t that right?”

“yeah…” the single word came out just as wobbly as you felt. he nodded at you, eyes flickering down to your bobbing throat as you swallowed dryly. 

“‘yeah…’” he mocked your unstable voice. “so–tell me why you think it's okay to talk to me like that? is it ‘cause you don’t respect me?”

you shook your head against the palm he held against your warm cheeks. his gaze was unrelenting and you felt like you were gonna be sick.

rafe already had you on thin ice from going to the cut last week. he was still mad about you blatantly ignoring his request, and this was only another stroke of a hammer to a frozen lake. he hated feeling like you were questioning his authority, but it felt ridiculous to you that your boyfriend thought he had any authority over you as a grown woman. that never mattered to him though; what he says is law in his eyes and if you disobeyed that then you had to deal with the consequences.

cursing at him in public had to be one of the dumbest things on planet earth, but your overstimulated mind couldn’t handle thinking about what could possibly happen. it didn’t quite dawn on you until he started dragging you through the mall, but by then it was too late to fix it. 

he had a short fuse and you’d lit it with your thoughtless actions. 

“i was just tired, rafe, that’s all.” you pouted up at him in hopes that he’d feel some sympathy for you rather than whatever had his bright blue eyes turn a dark shade of navy. “i didn’t mean to disrespect you. i just wasn’t thinking and it came out mean, i’m sorry…”

“you wouldn’t have to apologize all the time if you just…started thinking, huh?” his hand retracted from your face just a couple inches before reconnecting harshly. his palm stung against your skin, not enough to leave a mark but enough to serve as a warning. “fucking answer me.”

“no, i wouldn’t. you’re right,” the warm tingling of your cheek let you know there was no pouting your way out of this. “i was being dumb. i’ll do better, rafey, i promise…”

manipulation was wrong, but what choice did you really have? despite rafe being quick to anger, his soft spot for you was a weakness you’ve learned to use to your advantage over the years. 

when you looked up at him with pitiful, teary eyes and used that cute nickname for him in that little voice that pulled at his heartstrings, how could he stay mad at you? how could he reprimand you when you were being so sweet, so docile? 

you knew very well that he was wrapped around your finger even if he did have the upperhand in the relationship, and you would absolutely play on that when you needed to. 

like right now.

“baby…” rafe sighed at your wet eyes, demeanor softening at the sight. he thumbs over the skin of your cheek where he struck just you moments earlier in a soothing manner. 

looking down towards the floor you begin picking at your nails, the glossy french tips occupying your line of sight instead. it was something you always did when you were nervous, but this time it was only for show. 

“i’m really sorry.” if rafe were so close he wouldnt have heard the words leave your mouth. you prayed to whatever deity was watching over you to let the act work; rafe’s punishments were nothing you wanted to be on the receiving end of at the moment. 

rafe exhales again before removing his hand from your face. pulling you into his chest, he leans down to place a kiss to the top of your head amidst your embrace. if it wouldn’t completely jeopardize the situation you’d jump for joy. you melt into his arms, your own limbs moving to wrap around his lean torso. his hand reaches up to stroke over your head sweetly as he speaks into your scalp.

“go lie on the bed.” 

you tilted your head up at him in confusion. his softened eyes started down at you expectantly before glancing pointedly at the bed a few feet away. your feet carried you to the frame hesitantly, brows coming together as you pulled yourself up on the mattress. you’d barely settled before rafe was right there with you, his soft lips capturing yours in an embrace.

a sound of surprise on your end was swallowed by your boyfriend as he kept your lips connected. his hand came up to cup your jaw, using his thumb to pull your chin down and give him access to the pink of your mouth. you felt his tongue roll over yours gently a few times, the wet sound of saliva mixing filling your ears. 

there was nothing rough about it. even when he nipped at the flesh of your puffy bottom lip, he would take it in between his own and take away the sting of it. his air mingled with yours, and the taste of him almost distracted you from what got you here in the first place. he was good at that–distracting you.

so good, that you don’t notice the sneaky hand traveling between your bodies.

you jolt when a pair of fingers lands between your legs, ones that were not your own, and traces over the thin fabric of your underwear. rafe stopped you from pulling away, the hand on your chin moving to the back of your head to keep you in place. it was hard to focus on reciprocating the kiss when you were trying to stop yourself from pushing your hips up into his slow moving hand.

the feeling of him ghosting over your panties had you whining involuntarily, face heating up with embarrassment after the sound escaped your dry throat. rafe pulled away at the noise, a small smile grazing his lips as he watched you from above. you didn’t even notice that you were grinding into his barely there fingers, desperate for him to give you something more. it had been weeks since you touched yourself, and the last time rafe touched you was before you tried to break up with him.

“you’re so cute…” rafe spoke softly against your parted lips. a breathy chuckle escaped him when you frowned at him frustratedly. “stop pouting, it’s not gonna make me go any faster.”

despite him saying that, you feel him apply more pressure to your now pulsating clit. the friction of the fabric separating his fingers from your bare skin felt good, but not good enough to satisfy you for long. he stroked you from the bottom of your clothed slit all the way to the very top of your pussy before traveling back down and repeating the action. 

the slow, tantalizing circles around your attention–seeking bud made you feel just as miserable as you felt desperate for him to continue. 

rafe’s eyes scanned every inch of your face; the way you trapped your lip between your teeth to keep yourself quiet, the way your big, glossy eyes stared up at him, how your breath hitches when he applied the smallest amount of pressure. there was no hiding anything from him, not when both of you could feel the arousal leaking through the thin, pink fabric that kept your modesty.

he chuckled breathily when you brought a hand down to meet his wrist. you were sure if you wanted to push him away or pull him in closer.

“what is it, baby?” rafe asks curiously. he raises a dark blond brow at the soft whine that slips from your mouth, the answer not satisfactory enough for him. “know how to cuss me out, right? your mouth works just fine–use it.”

you blinked at him slowly, the snippy response on the tip of your tongue being forced down with the saliva gathering beneath the pink muscle. 

“can you…” the words were shaky as they left you, partially due to the teasing fingers spreading your wetness through your underwear. “c-can you touch me…please?”

rafe never made you ask him for anything. he always knew what you wanted, and he was more than willing to give it to you. you were a shy person and that timidity didn’t suddenly disappear when you two started being intimate with each other. it was hard for you to open up to him in that way, and he always made sure that you felt comfortable with him.

if he asked what you wanted, it was normally just teasing. he never really expected an answer and your mousy whimpers were enough for him to keep going. this was not something you were prepared for.

the blonde tilted his head to the side, feigning confusion. the way his digits were pressing into your entrance over the material made your lips part to allow a puff of air to escape.

“touch you?” he said. briefly his eyes flicker down to the hand between your legs being hidden by the fabric of your skirt before returning to meet your eyes. “am i not touching you?”

“but–i…” he was touching you, so you couldn’t argue against that, but he knew that wasn’t what you meant. “you are but th-that’s not...i mean really touch me.” 

“but i am ‘really’ touching you?” you pouted at him, eyes straining as you tried your hardest to prevent them from rolling. “you want more?”

rafe made no moves to oblige to your request when you started nodding your head frantically. instead he squinted at you, blue eyes burning against your skin fueled by his irritation.

“y’know, you’re being kinda…ungrateful, don’t ya’ think?” his tongue sneaks out to moisten his pursed lips. “i’m being so nice and you aren’t even thanking me?”

the hand not occupying the space between your legs travels to take place on your face, his strong fingers pushing in on your cheeks to squish them together roughly. you could feel the pads of the digits digging into the hardness of your teeth and it made you wince from the pain.

his fingers hook beneath the fabric of your panties and move them to the side. the cool air blowing against your newly bare skin was barely noticeable when all of your focus was on your boyfriend sliding through your slick folds. rafe’s face remained stoic even when you released a borderline pornographic moan from the sudden skin to skin contact, his grip on your face preventing you from hiding the sounds of pleasure.

he’d barely touched you and you were practically leaking; it was embarrassing. it’d been forever since you felt relief and he could tell, especially when the sticky mess was all over his fingers. you wanted so badly for them to sink inside and graze against your sensitive, gummy walls, but they never went any deeper than grazing against the entrance.

“i know what m’girl wants, what she needs–” rafe’s voice is soft but he looks the very opposite. the one-eighty almost gave you whiplash; he was being so sweet just a few minutes ago and now he looks just as agitated as he did on the ride home. “i know what you want, baby, i promise…”

you have to force yourself to not chase after his retreating hand with your hips. the loss of contact brings your mind out of its fuzzy, dazed state, bare pussy exposed to the blasting air-conditioning.

his thick digits are glistening in the light and covered in your arousal, strings of the sticky substance connecting his fingers together as he examines them in front of your face. with the hand on your face he forces your mouth to open wider, the flavor of your excitement coated the pinkness of your tongue. the sudden intrusion makes your mouth water reflexively and a sound of protest makes its way out.

“but what you need, is to learn how to be fucking grateful for what i give you.” rafe drags his fingers in and out of the moist coven of your mouth, making sure to thoroughly cover your tongue in the slick that was collected on his fingers.  “you should be grateful that i even touched you at all instead of shoving my cock in that nasty fucking mouth.” 

you almost gasped at the vulgar language but it was interrupted by his fingers shoving themselves deep into your throat. he was unmoved by your gagging, his face getting so close to yours that your noses touched. you could feel stray tears starting to run down your face and leave wet trails in their wake. 

watching as he gathers a pool of saliva in his cheeks, you could do nothing to stop him from allowing it to fall into yours. you feel it land in the back of your throat where his fingers were and flinch. the taste of him joins your pre-release in being fucked down your clenching throat by his fingers, your incessant coughing and gagging no deterrent to him. 

in fact, he finds some joy in it. he chuckles at the sound of your struggling, eyes focused on the wet mess created by your mouth.

“but you don’t even deserve that…my dick is too good for you. filthy ass mouth needs to be cleaned before i’d ever give it to you. ” his blonde locks fall in his eyes as he shakes his head in disapproval. “you know what–get the fuck up.”

pulling his fingers out of your mouth completely and releasing your face, he snatches you up to your feet. he drags you to his bathroom, one of his hands flicking on the lights while the other digs into the flesh of your bicep. 

you watch as he opens the medicine cabinet above the sink and slams it back shut, a white box visible in his hand from the mirror. he releases you for a moment to rip the packing open and reveal a brand new bar of soap. a state of paralysis overtook you from where you stood, eyes following him silently as he cut on the faucet. his gaze is fixated on you through the reflection of the mirror as he allows the bar of soap to foam up underneath the water.

rafe pulls you close, not giving you any chance to escape as he traps you against the bathroom counter with his back against your chest.

“open your mouth.” he says sternly. when you don’t follow instructions, his free hand reaches up to force your jaw open. “i said open your mouth!”

the bitter taste of dial disturbs you, the oval shaped bar scraping against your teeth as it’s shoved into your mouth. a muffled sound of rejection is silenced by the soap occupying all of your senses. you watch in the mirror as rafe holds both you and the foamy bar in place. 

“‘i just wasn’t thinking, rafey, i’m sorry.’” the mocking words were a repeat of what you said earlier. “yeah, you are sorry–but i bet you’ll start thinking now.” 

it felt like an eternity that he held the bar between your lips. when he finally pulled it away, you immediately leaned forward to spit out the substance. rafe was quicker than you, though, his large hand smacking against your lips to prevent you from ridding your mouth of the residue. your hand flew up to his wrist in an attempt to remove it but he doesn’t budge, his palm firm in its placement.

“no, you’re gonna keep it in that dirty fuckin’ mouth.” his voice was harsh in your ear, more annoyed than empathetic towards your desperate squirming. “you think some tears are gonna save your ass? not this time, baby…bet you’ll remember to watch how you talk to me, huh?”

nodding frantically, you plead with your eyes in the reflective glass before you. it was getting hard not to swallow the saliva pooling in your mouth and you weren’t sure how much longer you could handle the harsh taste of filmy, anti-bacterial suds. 

you filled your mouth with handfuls of water as soon as he released you. no matter how many times you brought the liquid to your lips to rinse the residue away, it was all you could taste. rafe remained stiff at your back, the heat of his body radiating against yours as he observed you judgmentally.

“remember how that shit tasted before you ever talk to me like that again, alright?” rafe all but spits the words out at your hunched frame over the faucet. “next time…i won’t be so nice.”

you glance up into the mirror and follow his back as he exits the bathroom. straightening up to your full height you’re met with the disheveled state of your reflection, dry tear stains over your cheeks and chapped lips left behind to show for the mercilessness of your boyfriend. the counter beneath fell victim to the crushing pressure of your fingers as your knuckles strained from the tightness of your grip.

sniffling, your tongue lolled over your chapped lips to moisten them before retreating back to its place. your throat bobbed as you forced the saliva down your throat, the sound of your gulping audible in the silent bathroom. you could hear rafe was shuffling around the bedroom a few feet away, footsteps traveling back and forth as he went through the shopping bags to presumably separate his stuff from yours.

rafe hadn’t done something like that in…in forever. 

the last–and only–time it happened was because you called him out of his name. you could suddenly remember the taste of lavender scented hand soap being scrubbed across your tongue by his angry fingers as he cleaned the words out of your mouth. the way your stomach turned when you would accidentally swallow the liquid every time he pushed too far down your throat. how he treated you like a petulant, misbehaving child deserving of corporal fucking punishment like it was the 1950’s.

you’d nearly forgotten that even took place–maybe because your brain decided it was a memory that had to be blocked out in order for you to stay with rafe after it occurred. you wish it had remained at the forefront of your mind so you wouldn't end up in the position again.

splashing water onto your tearstained face, you wipe away the mess before warily joining rafe in the bedroom on the other side of the doorframe. the end of the mattress was occupied by his body, the back of his head being the first thing you see. 

“come here.” his voice was softer than it was earlier but it still startled you, heart beating through your chest as he beckoned you towards him.

you were suddenly reminded of the wetness between your thighs as you approached him. the way your folds slid against each other beneath your ruined underwear as you took hesitant steps in his direction. it made you feel dirty–even after being gagged with a bar of soap.

pulling you between his legs, rafe rests his arms around your waist as you stand before him. he stares up at you apologetically, almost, eyes soft and bright as he toys with the hem of your sweater. your arms hung awkwardly by your sides, stiff and unsure of where to go.

“you know i just want you to do better right?” he asks. “i’m going to marry you one day, y/n, and my wife can’t talk to me like that…especially not in public. you understand why i had to do that right?”

you say nothing. it feels as if you’re on autopilot the way your head nods, the movement almost a reflex you’d learned just to appease him.

“i can’t keep letting it slide anymore, baby. you’ll just keep doing it and i can’t let everyone think i’m–i’m a pushover…’cause i’m not. i don’t want people thinking i can’t handle my girl–you get that, right?” he nodded his head and you followed his movements, still on autopilot. “you help me be better too, y’know…i just wanna do the same for you, okay?

“okay.” the single word came out so softly you weren’t sure if he heard it. your hands came together to pick at your nails, the slightly grown-out french tips falling victim to the nervous habit.

rafe unwrapped his arms from around your waist and pulled your hands apart as he took them into his own. the warmth of his palms thawed out your freezing fingers, blood rushing back into the tips. his lips ghosted over your knuckles as he blew hot air over them and rubbed the coldness out of them. your body had focused on keeping your organs warm over your extremities, poor blood-circulation a symptom of the persistent anemia you just couldn’t seem to get rid of.

“i love you so much that…th-that i don’t even know how….” he stumbles over his words. his adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, collecting his thoughts before speaking again.  “i do what i do because i love you, not because i wanna hurt you. i’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose, so don’t ever think that…okay? do you understand?”

you believed him, even though it was the last thing you wanted to do.

truly, you believed he didn’t do anything to hurt you. you knew that he never really had any bad intentions with his actions. rafe was irrational, short tempered, and had never seen what a healthy romantic relationship looked like in his life.

even with all of his flaws, has never hurt you just for the fun of it. he was mean sometimes, sure, but he was like that with everyone. actually hurting you has never been on his agenda, which is probably why you allowed yourself to stick around so long before. however, most of the things he did were reactionary to losing control. it was one of the few things he lacked in his life and he hated when the little he had was taken away from him. 

you were, quite frankly, the only stable thing he had.

if anything were to threaten that stability he would lose his mind. he would do whatever it takes to eliminate that threat; even you. he couldn’t lose you, not when you were all he had. his dad treated him like a disgrace, sarah barely liked him, and sure he had friends–but if he didn’t have money or status, would they stay with him?

you’d seen rafe at his absolute worst, but you never left. when he barely treated you like a human you stuck around because you saw something in him that no one else did. he knew that even if he left, you’d still take him in with open arms and love every part of him. you understood him in a way nobody else could, and he so desperately needed that.

violence and wealth is what his father uses to maintain control over him and everyone else, so that’s all rafe knows how to do. that’s what he was taught, and it’s hard to unlearn when it works so well. 

you’ve seen the things he has done to other people that have crossed him, and though he loved you to the ends of the earth, he would have no problem doing the same thing to you. he made good on his threats to the people that have done him wrong. you knew this first hand because it was you that washed the blood of his hands and bandaged his knuckles. you’d seen the dents in his golf clubs and the scratches in the paint of his car that looked an awful lot like fingernails. you never question it because getting involved in the world of drug dealing rich kids isn’t something on your list of priorities, but you were well aware of what he did to people.

he knew scaring you would keep you around, so that’s what he does. keeps you in a constant state of fear. even if it meant giving you a mouthful of soap.

“i understand.” you dropped your chin lower to look him directly in the eye. his long lashes brushed over the tops of his cheeks as his eyes fluttered open and shut. “i know you’d never hurt me on purpose, so don’t worry about that. i love you…and i’m sorry.”

rafe sighed heavily–out of relief or exhaustion? you weren’t sure. 

opening up your hand to reveal your palm, you watched as he brought it close to his face to place gentle kisses over the skin. you felt him press his lips against each section of your hand from the bottom to the top, no area left untouched. turning it over, he repeats his previous actions. each knuckle on your right hand is left tingling by the pink, pillowy flesh.

“you’re so perfect for me…my perfect girl.” he whispers loud enough for you to hear, eyes opening up to stare back into your watchful gaze above him. “you’re gonna be my perfect wife, too; i know it. gonna put a ring on this finger right here–”

taking a hold of your forefinger, he places a kiss there in the same manner he did your other fingers. he keeps his lips there longer; the intimate action makes your stomach do a flip and your heart swell. you’d felt so many emotions today that you wanted nothing more than to turn your brain off–but he made it so impossible.

“and make you mine forever.” rafe finishes the sentence after pulling away. he laces his fingers into yours and pulls you in with his freehand on your lower back. “everyone’s gonna be so jealous because they can never have you–could never be you.”

even though it killed you to admit it; you wanted it just as much as he did. well, probably not as much–but you’d be lying to yourself if you said you couldn’t see yourself with him forever. the idea of him putting a ring on your finger put a smile on your face even when you tried your hardest to suppress it.

fear wasn’t the only thing keeping you around.

[tetsunabouquet]

Attack On Titan: Babydaddy Headcanons

A/N: This is just me thinking about how many they'd have, the gender and how they would raise them, etc.

Levi

-This man is a girl dad in the sense he only had one child and its a daughter. -It was a conscious decision. Whilst he loves you and would never deny you the joy of a child if you wanted to be a mom, he's also a man that lives a life of danger. Even if he's humanity's soldier, he has enough emotional awareness to know there are times where you or your daughter will worry and he wants to keep the number of people worried about him as low as possible. -He's not overprotective because she's an Ackerman but if someone even thinks of laying a hand on his daughter he'd chop their fingers off before they even reach her scalp. -As soon as she's old enough to fight, Levi will train her just like Kenny taught him because he knows the world is that cruel. However, any titan she interacts with until she's actually old enough to be a soldier will be none except for Hange's test subjects so she can see the danger she might choose with her own eyes to make an informed decision. -A secret reason he also shows her Hange's test subjects is that he wants to provide her with an example how not to interact with titans in Hange.

Eren

-Was a girl dad until his final kid popped out as a boy. -Armin pointed out the funny coincidence of his family unit being inverse to his own childhood; considering Grisha used to be a boy dad until adopting Mikasa. -Low-key looked good whenever his daughters would do his hair. Sometimes you wonder if looking like Carla is why Eren looks good with the sloppy feminine hairstyles. -He doesn't loves his son any less though. If anything, the way his daughters act towards him reminds him of how Mikasa used to treat him so whenever his son feels smothered, he understands his son and has his back. -In this scenario, his titan form obviously doesn't come with the 13 year curse limitations so he's somewhat worse as Levi when it comes to harming his kids. Because Eren would just squash them like bugs in his titan form.

Zeke

-Only becomes a father because he got drunk with you, who he already felt conflicted about loving. So like Levi, he makes the conscious decision to keep it at that one kid. -I do think Zeke would have a boy though. -He would play baseball with his son every day and try to be the father Ksaver was to him. -Zeke's plans to euthanize the Subjects of Ymir morphs into a plan to mutate all Subjects of Ymir into the same condition as the Ackerman clan and destroy the titan ability itself which would leave him as the final inheritor of the Beast Titan (speaking of which I might someday make a post with all the alternatives to the Rumbling that Isayama couldn't think of when he wrote himself into a corner) -Because of his negative experience with education and indoctrination, Zeke actually is an advocate for unschooling to a certain extent. He will teach his kid to read, write and basics but he's not fond of certain subjects like history because its in their world just filled with propoganda that Zeke is tired of.

Reiner

-Was very insecure about becoming a dad considering his own was happily a deadbeat but once he started having kids he couldn't stop at one so he had 4 kids. -Has two boys and two girls. -Because he was raised by a single mom, he works extra hard to be a good husband and father not just for the sake of the kids or his love for them. No, its also out of his devotion to you and not wanting you to know the hardships his mother faced in the slightest. -The sort of father who proudly displays the artwork of his children around his Vice Chief office at the Marleyan governmental building. -Teaches his sons to be better men and not make the mistakes he did as he teaches his daughters not to allow men to use them for their bodies in the way his mother was used and discarded. The way he goes about their gender roles and preparing them for life can be quite feminist for the time period AOT is set in but due to his upbringing and knowing so many powerful women, it shaped him quite a bit.

Armin

-A boy and a girl -Armin really wanted a mini you so when your first was a boy, he tried again and got what he wanted. -Not that he doesn't loves his son though, and thinks he's way cuter then he ever was as a child, which he reasons is your genetic makeup's doing. -Touch his children and he will find a way to poison you. He's way more clever and sneaky when it comes to taking revenge compared to Levi and Eren. -Similar to Reiner, he eats up anything his kids make and finds the most horrible drawings of a cat to be the best amazing artwork ever.

Erwin

-Just like Levi, being part of the scouts made him restrict himself to one child. -However, unlike Levi, he has a harder time as your child tempts him into wanting more of them as he loves seeing the union of yours and his features. -It's a boy -Hange often teases you and Erwin that he and Historia's daughter might become an item as they grew up together as babes of the Scouts regiment. -Has a habit of dropping asleep right next to his son after he's come home after a long day of titan slaying and reports about it.

[dreaming-hibi]

Everyone seems to forget that Tsuna is affected not by one but by TWO "bad" parents. In this essay I will bring down both Iemitsu and Nana.

Iemitsu is considered a bad parent because Tsuna himself says so, and we gotta trust what the victim says. If Tsuna claims his father is a deadbeat father, than that's what his father is. Iemitsu might be a respected chief, an understanding mentor and a loving husband, there is no denying he fulfills those roles wonderfully well however, he falls short on his role as a father and that's the role Tsuna most needs out of him. Tsuna doesn't need his father to be a respected chief or an understanding mentor or a loving husband, he needs his father to be a father first and foremost. Instead, Iemitsu tells Nana to claim he was dead/missing. And she did (and I'll be coming back to this later). Now, not only did Tsuna have to live with the fact that his father up and left the house, he had to live with the fact that his father was also, very likely, dead.

Iemitsu-father was dead to Tsuna for two years, the boy had definitely come to terms with it by the start of the series. Except, Iemitsu wasn't dead at all. While it's treated as a comedy skit in the manga, the absolute rollercoaster of emotion Tsuna must have felt at that moment is unimaginable. "I lived with my mom and dad but then my dad started leaving for work until one day he stopped coming home, and then my mom told he was missing but he actually wasn't... oh, and he involved me in some dangerous mafia business", try explaining that to a therapist.

Offenses committed by Iemitsu:

Leave his son without an explanation while his son was at a vulnerable age (Tsuna was at least old enough to remember his dad leaving the house)

Telling his wife to write him off as dead/missing because "It's more romantic that way" (I haven't seen the episode in years but I just checked and that's exactly what he said, wtf)

Appearing in his son's life after being "dead" for years without a reasonable explanation (and no, claiming that he was doing that to protect his family is not an explanation, that's an excuse)

Appearing in his son's life only after he got said son involved in the mafia business

Disappearing as soon as everything is over and not being heard of again until he wants to

Acting like a father when he killed that role himself

I can understand the first offense, after all, Tsuna was a small boy when Iemitsu left. "You were a child, there was no need for you to know" is something adults repeatedly say when they refuse to elaborate on why they kept a child in the dark; and that's something I understand, I don't condone it but I do understand it. But Tsuna was clearly at an age where he could remember his dad leaving, he was at an age where he was emotionally grown-up enough to see his father leaving the house as being the same as being abandoned.

ツナ 「オレと母さんを残して ずっと家を空けてたあんな奴に・・・」

Tsuna uses the word 残す (nokosu) which means "to leave (behind)", which often carries a sense of forgetfulness, as though the act of leaving something behind was done because the person forgot about. "He left behind my mom and me" = "He forgot about us and left". And then he goes on to say "That guy (derogative) was always away from home", which further drives the point that Tsuna has some strong resentment towards his father for leaving without being heard of.

The second offense is, in my humble opinion, bullshit. The japanese use this particular word 「ロマン」 (roman) which is many times translated as "romantic", but which is used to describe a feeling of "pursuing impossible dreams or ideals which deeply define a character". This particular word is mostly used by japanese men to describe a feeling of longing for impossible dreams and ideals that women just cannot understand.

.

.

See what I mean?

Nana (I'm coming for you so sit tight) is so japanese in her essence that she's a woman who is attracted by the idea of a man chasing his impossible dreams (a man who is living the roman), and Iemitsu feeds on that by telling her to write him off as gone and "as becoming one with the stars", because that's more romantic than telling your kid his dad will be doing construction work. A husband and a wife who very obviously love each other and who both think living by their ideals is a much higher priority than their responsibility towards the child they brought into the world. The third offense shows how different Iemitsu and Tsuna are. Iemitsu claims he was keeping his family in the dark because that was how he protected them (through ignorance), and that's bullshit and Tsuna shows us exactly why, like a 100 or so chapters later. During the Future Arc, Tsuna was made to choice between telling his friends the whole truth or keeping them in the dark for their own safety (like Iemitsu). Tsuna decides to say the truth, because he knows what it means and what it feels like to be kept in the dark, especially regarding something that concerns the person directly. Tsuna made that decision because he had been in a similar position.

The fourth offense is perhaps there to show how incapable of being a father Iemitsu is. Iemitsu reappears in Tsuna's life only after Tsuna becomes involved with the mafia, because that's what Iemitsu is good at: the mafia. Perhaps Iemitsu was more involved in the mafia than he was in a normal family situation, which is why he lacks as a father, because he very simply doesn't know how to be a father. He can train, mentor and support Tsuna in the mafia way because that's what he knows how to do, however, that's not what Tsuna needs nor wants. Tsuna needed a father, but that father wrote himself off (so Tsuna unknowingly got another father and this one refuses to leave him alone) and Tsuna had to come to terms with the fact that he didn't have a father to depend on. And that's where the conflict between Tsuna and Iemitsu comes from: Iemitsu trying to act like a dad to the son he had educated to think of him as dead.

To Tsuna the situation must be something like this: his dad gave him up for adoption and now keeps coming back, trying to act like a dad because now the two of them shared the same hobby.

Sorry, Iemitsu, Tsuna found himself a better dad! Although you succeeded in ruining the dad-role for him, so now he's left with some complicated feelings towards Reborn, whom he sees as a figure he can depend on but whom he cannot call "dad" in fear it might end up like it did with you.

His fifth offense ties in with his fourth. Iemitsu only appears when there is something about the mafia going on and then disappears as soon as the situation is no longer related to the mafia. He only tries to act like a father to Tsuna when the mafia is involved, and that is absolute bullshit because that boy needs a father even outside of the mafia.

And finally his last and most important offense: how Iemitsu killed the image of a father in Tsuna's head.

At hearing the news that his father will be back home, after 2 years, Tsuna's shocked reaction is treated more as a joke than a legitimate emotion someone might have towards the sudden undeadness of a father. Nana, his own mother, even goes as far as belittling him and his intelligence when she says (more explicitly in the anime): "Aww Tsuna, you actually believed that story about his disappearance?" and then "How do you think we pay for your school expenses and food, if he were really gone?"

Iemitsu intentionally killed the existence known as "dad" in Tsuna's head, and Nana helped. Tsuna started the series convinced he no longer had a dad, which is why he ended up depending on Reborn, because Reborn was the first authoritative figure that called him a loser to his face while also believing Tsuna was much more than that. Reborn appeared exactly as the kind of figure Tsuna didn't know he needed in his life.

Though both Reborn and Iemitsu are there because of the mafia, Reborn stays for more than just the mafia, and Tsuna can see that. Iemitsu only interacts with Tsuna when the mafia is involved, while Reborn is there for him regardless of whether or not the mafia is involved. Reborn was sent there to make Tsuna the next boss, yet all Reborn did was make this loser of a kid get some confidence in himself and make some friends. Between a tutor whose intentions he knows (he's there to make him boss but somehow he's also trying to make him into a better person) and a dad whose intentions he doesn't know (he tries to teach him this mafia thing he really doesn't want to be involved in), Tsuna's heart chose the one figure he didn't know he always wanted in his life.

Nice going, Tsuna!

I bring this conversation between Tsuna and Iemitsu, which I think further shows the conflict between them.

ツナ 「帰ってこなかったあんたが オレの何が知っている!!」

家光 「お前は愛する母さんとの間に生まれた 俺の息子だ」

Tsuna: "What could you possibly understand about me?! If you're never home!" Iemitsu: "You are my son, born between me and the woman I love."

In what is a typical parent cliche, Iemitsu claims he knows Tsuna solely based on the fact that Tsuna is his son. This is a psychological trap which many parents seem to fall for: a belief that they will always know their children best because it is their children (and that their children might not know themselves because they are still children). Iemitsu fails to acknowledge that Tsuna is his own person and that he might not want to live by his ideals. As to why parents do this? Well, ego, most likely. A parent thinks themselves a god because they created a child, and refuse to acknowledge the fact that their child is just another person they will have to learn to know.

Now, Sawada Nana. The amount of information on this woman is so little that she might as well be of little influence to the plot, expect she's not!

Let's start from the beginning. Nana is described as being kind, but her kindness seems to only go so far, as she will and does ignore things she does not want to deal with. Reborn kicks her son in front of her? She leaves them alone. Her son keeps coming home with mysterious injuries? She ignores it.

Again, all of these are treated as comedy, and Nana is just like any other anime/manga mother. She appears as a 1-dimensional character with no other role than to be there for every other character that isn't her son.

Nana, like Iemitsu, does the bare minimum for Tsuna as a mother. She does provide him with meals and a roof, however she completely neglects the emotional support the boy very obviously needs. There are instances in which she even belittles his feelings (such as when Tsuna was freaking out over his father's appearance and she proceeded to laugh and point out his naiveness at believing her lie).

What kind of freaking mother makes fun of their son for believing something they said?

Certainly not a good one!

And lastly, it was Nana who allowed and helped Iemitsu in being a bad father. Tsuna holds his mother in high respect because he believes Iemitsu abandoned her too, and that is why it is easier for him to forgive her and not his father. However, it was through Nana's emotional neglect that Iemitsu ended up ruining the image of a father in Tsuna's head — her passiveness is what allowed Tsuna to grow into the weak-willed character we meet in the beginning of the series.

In conclusion, both Iemitsu and Nana are to blame for Tsuna's loser behavior. So, if we're gonna talk about how bad of a father Iemitsu is, we should acknowledge the fact that Tsuna has a mother who allowed all of that to happen.

You're welcome to step up and shoot me, I'm open to constructive criticism!

[fangsforiris]

How would the sakamaki brothers react if they find out that they were the sons of the same mother and that they're biologically brothers but karlheinz killed their real mother and separated them . (Btw i reaaally love your blog 💕💕)

Sakamaki Brothers’ Reaction to Being Blood Siblings Related by 1 Mother

——————————

Shū:

“We are blood related…? Seriously…? And here I thought I only had to deal with Reiji. …It seems as if that man will never rest. …That poor woman…”

• Shū wouldn’t be as shocked as compared to the others. He’s been used to Karlheinz’s plans for years longer than the others.

• However, he’d be more tired if anything. Like always, he can never be rid himself of his father and his constant need for his plans to succeed.

• I doubt his relationships with the brothers will change, since beyond this revelation, they are all still the same people. Within the same environment which conditions them to act within a hostile manner.

Reiji:

“Father… he… No. I refuse to believe such a sentiment. I already loathe being related to that deadbeat enough, but this? …What will become of us now?”

• He’d be the most in denial. As in, it would take Reiji the longest to accept that this was even a possibility in the cards.

• Reiji is known to idolize his father, so for this to occur? I think it would heavily confuse his loyalties.

• However, since he does have somewhat of a maternal instinct for his siblings, mainly younger, he’d use this as an opportunity to get closer to them and have more of a ‘close knitted family,’ in the way the Mukami’s do.

Ayato:

“Ehh!? What do you mean we all shared a mother?! That doesn’t even make sense…! We don’t even look alike? Gah… that old man has some explaining to do!”

• Most confused 100%

• Either he skipped a few biology lessons or fell asleep in them, but even he knows that it doesn’t add up as much as it’s supposed to.

• I think he’d use this as a way to perhaps become a bit closer to all of the brothers and in a sense, make amends for the past teasing/borderline bullying he participated in (mainly towards Subaru.)

• Since he is considered to be the most ‘humane’ out of the brothers, it isn’t as far off for him to have empathy and to want to start brand new.

Kanato:

“We… all share a mother? What do you mean? Am I not my mothers son? I don’t understand, Teddy. What are is he saying…? What are you saying!? This does not make any sense…!”

• I think he’d also be in denial, or mainly shocked beyond comprehension.

• It’ll take Kanato a bit to understand, especially since this will deeply impact his pre-established identity issues.

• He was heavily narcissistic about his hair due to it being almost exact to the late Cordelia’s, so for him to not have that connection, one that he founded his entire self-esteem on, it would be detrimental.

Laito:

“So it seems we were fooled, weren’t we? Fufu~ That man certainly knows how to cause a commotion. …That woman then is no mother to me…”

• Out of everyone, I think Laito would want to do further research into this woman and who she was.

• Due to his complicated relationship with his mother, and his pre-established self-loathing, I think this will make him wonder if in another life, he’d be able to have a healthy correlation with mother figures and sexual activity as a whole.

• Laito already does somewhat act as an ‘older brother’ towards Ayato, Kanato, and Subaru, but perhaps this would allow him to get away with more in the scope of caring and involvement.

Subaru:

“He… killed her…? That damned old man! He’s selfish to the core, not one ounce of feeling to be found in him…! That’s all we are… just pawns…”

• Subaru already hated his father due to what he did to his mother and himself. So to find out that he shared an actual blood bond with his brothers, and not just a half-bond would be almost incomprehensible to him.

• He’s always wondered what it’d be like to share a fully-blooded sibling, so to find out it was always here… is bittersweet. Especially since the pre-established relationships between him and the rest of them are sour, and based on tearing down his self-esteem.

• He’d feel the most bad for the woman, and whatever alternate universe could’ve arised from him having a good parent that didn’t project all of their emotional turmoil onto him.

[hawkinasock]

Hihi! I’m back you should not have pointed me back to the ask box if I had more questions I fear I’ll never shut up

Okay onto the question. So, if I understood correctly, you mentioned that Yanqing’s death was ruled an accident(?) on fault of the emanator due to supposed Mara, but like what was the general consensus of the emanator’s claims? Like did the Xianzhou just like not believe it at all? Was it a mixed reaction? Did they just go with it? Accusing someone of even being associated with Abundance is already a heavy accusation on the Xianzhou, and I doubt “he smelled funny” would hold up in court for the Emanator-that-cried-Abomination over here (to be fair, it was right), especially for someone as beloved on the Luofu as Yanqing. Sorry I know I keep dragging this thing poor guy was just trying to do its job it just ate the wrong kid oops

Side question/musing: Random thought but I know its probably more plausable that someone gave him the shirt he’s wearing in the design but I just keep picturing his shirt just somehow surviving the digestion fully intact. Like Yanqing himself eh he’s like there buts he’s missing bits of himself (rip human legs you’ll always be famous) but his shirt doesn’t even have a hole in it Yaoshi might’ve just liked the shirt more than him at that point (deadbeat strikes again) they didn’t want a nice shirt to go to waste LMAO

Okay thank you bye <3

Long time no see, anon!

Don't worry about asking too many questions, I love getting asks, especially about my work. It tells me people are interested enough to want to know more. A lot of the times questions actually help me find and fix plot holes, so I welcome them wholeheartedly.

So, the general consensus among the Xianzhou natives was in Yanqing's defense, although there was some mixed feelings.

On one hand, this is Yanqing. He's absolutely beloved and trusted among the Luofu, so no one would want to believe he's an abomination of all things. Its also an absurd claim, considering the nature of abominations as almost always aggressive and having visual indicators of their allegiance to the Abundance. Yanqing is just... not that.

On the other hand, this is an emanator of Lan, one known for detecting abominations through smell. It's hard to believe they could possibly mistake a Xianzhou native for an abomination.

Most people are of the belief that this was a careless mistake and the emanator was in the wrong, but there's still a lingering doubt. If borisins can disguise themselves as foxians, then who's to say any abomination can't infiltrate the Luofu in the form of a human or vidyadhara too? That's what's going on through people's heads at throughout the story, and this kind of civil unrest and paranoia is exactly what Phantylia had been hoping for.

You do make a good point with his shirt. Apparently, fabric is actually really hard to digest, so it may not have been completely destroyed, but he wouldn't have regrown with it on, either. The doylist reason, however, is that I just never decided to give him a new shirt.

The watsonian reason is actually pretty simple. It's not the same shirt. It was given to him by Jing Yuan.

That's all for now. Until next time <3

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 7

Grandpa piss, being a part of the Remote Viewers Division doesn't prevent you from being a deadbeat. KILL him Eva.

What were YOU doing at the devil's sacrement, King [insert name here] Sheran-Sharm!

I love women who are tortured for an eternity and then die in some way that will not kill them in a way that matters #signaliscore posts

Man haha I wonder if this might be saying something about Yugo (and Joris, but that goes without saying on this blog)

I have seen people criticize this moment, but let me be the devil's advocate: after seeing years of fans saying that Flopin is the boring twin, or that Eva has no backstory, them getting a problem-causing grandpa is literally so good.

And I think I understand why Flopin did this, since he says himself that he actually feels like the boring twin... I understand why he felt like going with this man, to learn about this guild, and where he comes from.

[starts hacking up blood] you know what other duo of demigods in this franchise had a twin who felt like they were living in the shadow of their sibling and his wonderful white fur—- [is shot by animal control]

I loooove comparing all the characters in this show, because it's genuinely a good way to approach Krosmoz, since Tot likes exporing the same themes (immortality/family) over, and over, and over, and over. And what I can say rn is: man, having normal parents makes jealousy-based plots much more tame. Atcham went in a "I want to be great like you, so I need to end you, you don't care about me like I care about you anyway" direction instead of a "I want to be great like you, so I'm gonna leave and work on myself, and then we can stand side by side someday"

I do think he is going to hurt his sister in some major way with this decision and in the end it will be a bitter, or bittersweet memory <3 I believe in the power of toxicity <3

To elaborate on the thing I said about titles, Astra is the ruling queen (to be precise, she is the daughter of the king of Bonta who was mentioned in seasons 1-2 and OVAs, who seems to have passed away); while her wife is either queen-consort, or a princess-consort.

However, Wakfu kingdoms may have worse, weirder rules than real life about inheritance.

The reason I am not getting my panties in a twist about the same-sex aspect of this (besides me supporting toxic royal yuri + being against homophobia or whatever) is that this is a magical universe, idk. they could adopt or get magically pregnant. It's literally a non-issue for me. UNLIKE PEOPLE NOT UNDERSTANDING THE CONSORT SYSTEM AND—-

Joris is present in all the kingdoms as Yugo's emotional support mediator/ambassador, except for Brakmar. I assume they simply do not let this fucking man into their palace, and rightfully so. He's literally a Bontarian narc. He'd use that chance to steal documents or some shit.

Btw I find it so funny how he keeps the same neutrally haunted look.

If a Bonatrian political leader goes for a week without wanting to start genocide against a people who isn't into the main 12 gods, they start getting the shakes from withdrawal.

I imagine living for hundreds of years and experiencing unimaginable suffering would make one pretty averse to being bossed around by some random guy who was born into wealth and has not known a second of grief in their life.

I feel it is important to point out: Joris was the one who made sure the meeting with Astra happened. He also felt this was important enough to try and organize meetings with other kings and queens. This is a dangerous situation.

As always, absolutely nobody listened. Nobody ever listens.

As I was saying, I imagine living for hundreds of years and experiencing un—-

I think the fact that Joris went with them has to say something about him. Yes, it is probably his sense of responsibility — he doesn't exactly want bad things to happen...

But also it explicitly puts a wedge between him and the Bontarian government. He values Yugo more.

[thekingofwinterblog]

The Problem With Yasopp

So like many people I was genuinely surprised by Netflix One Piece, adaption, which turned out the exact opposite of pretty much every single travesty that america has made when adapting Manga and Anime.

It certainly was not without flaws, for one thing it needed to be at least 3-5 episodes longer in order to fix it's pacing issues if it wanted to get all of East Blue into one season, and the fight scenes while very well choreographed, didn't exactly sell me on the superhuman strength of most of these characters.

However, there was one thing that genuinely pissed me off, in large part because the american adapters changed something they didn't like, in order to fit "western sensibilites" and in doing so, completely missing the point, and frankly tragedy of the original context.

That of course, is the character of Usopp's relationship with his parents Yasopp and Banchina, and the rather sad tale of plans going completely arry due to twists of fate.

In the west, the character of Yasopp has been a rather contentious one, for several reasons, but also one that has been a bit altered by the changes from Japanese to English.

Yasopp is critiqued heavily by people who don't like him for abandoning his kid, and his wife to seek adventure on the high seas. Now this is not untrue, but there is a bit of context here that's a bit lost in translation.

And you can really tell that, because the way Netflix portrays Yasopp leaving is the surface level one you might get if you just read Syrup Village arc, and you don't pay any attention at all to the timeline given.

In the neflix series, it's explicitly said that Yasopp left Usopp and his mother while Usopp was still a baby. That is such a common reading, that it's actually what the One Piece Wiki claims happened(Another example of why you should always be critical of Wiki's).

The actual Manga tells a different story.

Yasopp left Syrup village right before Banchina unexpedetly got sick with the disease that ultimatly killed her.

When Usopp is so touchy against Kuro about him badmouting his father, it's not in the context of him idolizing some father he never met, because Usopp and Yasopp knew and loved each other dearly. Usopp's wish to see his dad again isn't some wish to meet the father he only knows through stories, but to reconnect with the dad he loved so much growing up and was sad when he left.

And then of course there is the glory of mistraslation. If you've read this part of the manga, you might rightly be wondering, what sort of woman would be proud of the man who abandoned her to take care of their kid while he sought adventure.

The answer, which the english translation does not give, is a woman who was the one to convince him to go out on that journey in the first place.

Because that is what happened in the orignal manga. It was Banchina, for reasons we don't fully understand or have the context for, eho convinced her husband to go out and seek his dreams.

That's the reason why she is so certain Yasopp will NOT be coming home, but why she is also not bitter about it. She was the one who encouraged Yasopp to go out to sea, while she stayed home and took care of their kid, until he grew old enough to care for himself, and seek the seas himself if he wished.

The story of Yasopp, Usopp and his wife is a genuine tragedy, but not because Yasopp abandoned Usopp before he ever got to know him, but because Usopp's parents made plans for the future, that while not perfect by any stretch, seemed workable enough... only for the entire thing to come crumbling down after Yasopp left due to something as mundane as a random disease.

One can certainly make an argument that this was NOT the best course of action for Yasopp and Banchina to take, but it's not the complete deadbeat dad who abandons his baby trope that the Netflix series portrays it as.

Further hammering in that this was a bit more complicated than that, Yasopp seems to have been one of the very first crew members Shanks tried to recruit, having sought him out not long after Roger died... And Yasopp seems to have flat out rejected him, as he stayed with Banchina for years and years afterwards.

It adds a lot of context to the idea that Banchina was the one who ultimately convinced Yasopp to go out and chase his dreams while she took care of the kid... Because it took years and years for it to ultimately conclude at this course of action. Yasopp would continue to reject Shanks offer to join him for years to instead to take care of his wife and kid, until about a year before Shanks met Luffy, when his wife told him to go.

It's a hell of a lot more nuanced and interesting than what Netflix did, that's for damn sure.

[physalian]

Pretty sure I’m a baby aro, running out of excuses to deny it anymore. Now I didn’t go through any internalized homophobia that you might have if you realize you’re gay or a lesbian, I knew if I came out to my parents they’d be fine (I just don’t want the attention and the questions). Aceness came easy to me, can’t think of any one epiphany moment or if it happened, it wasn’t a monumental one. Just, oh, yeah, that makes sense.

Aromaticism(?), though, that one’s harder to accept. I know I’m not the only one going/gone through this. It’s just a very lonely state of being, in a society where there are very thick bold lines between what you’re allowed to do with friends before it gets “weird” and messy (and why I fight so hard to write and love characters who ignore those lines but still stay just friends).

I haven’t been anyone’s priority one probably since I stopped being an only child when I was five. I don’t want romance, necessarily, but the only way you get to be the most important person in someone’s life is if you’re their lover.

I don’t need all the accoutrements of romance. But to have somebody who actually wants to do stuff together instead of making up excuses would be nice. Somebody who’s as invested in however we define our relationship as I am. Someone who texts first as often as I do. Someone with whom I never have to think “they’re just putting up with me”. Somebody who notices the little things, as I do for them. They don’t even have to be physically around all the time (in fact I prefer them not to be, I need my space).

It probably doesn’t help that my short list of friends has people only there because officially ending it would be too much work. The kind of people who won’t talk to me at all for months unless I reach out first. (When you work from home and everybody your age that you attempt to make friends with are either immature, or into things you hate like drinking, drugs, and clubs, making friends as an adult sucks.)

I’ve been in relationships out of guilt and expectations, short and miserable, but my second-to-last one, with a love-bomber who wouldn’t take no for an answer all the way to the bedroom… I didn’t like them, but I liked the attention. Got the fuck out of there right quick once I realized all I wanted was attention and not *their* attention.

But being aroace, when you don’t have anyone else to give you attention, is not a fun place to be. I don’t generally sit around whining about loneliness, but it hits every now and then. I can daydream about romance with the best of them (and I think I can write it well enough), but the person I’m imagining never has a face, or much of a body, they’re just a blob. And then reality hits and it’s like “oh this is the cost of romance? This is exhausting. You’re exhausting. I’m sick of being the one who has her shit together out of the two of us. Goodbye.”

I guess when you grow up surrounded by stellar examples of failed marriages and relationships and whiny pre-teens (and grown-ass adults, let’s be real) losing their shit over so-and-so not liking their Insta pic, romance sounds tedious as fuck.

Like, I can't not picture any would-be lover as a deadbeat with horrible parents I'd have to tolerate and some complex they think I can romance away and some hobby I can't stand. It's all I see in the people around me, "ugh I hate them, but I can't not love them". All I see is people I care about getting with the same shitty type of person because they're also lonely, but unlike me, they crave romance and sex and put up with shit so they can have those things. I'd have to put up with sex and romance for attention, and I'm not doing that.

My imaginary blob person doesn’t have a face, but the “sexiest” trait I can think of is just. Competence. Which is depressingly hard to find in other people my age.

Get me a somebody who does the dishes without being asked and who has savings and a career, not just a job, and knows how to do their taxes and can set up the WiFi without throwing a tantrum and is actually working toward their dreams and aspirations and can have adult conversations and doesn’t play stupid mind games and maybe we’ll strike the “aro” out of aroace.

Until then, hello everybody I’m new. Where do I put my stuff?

[jasntodds]

Caving In [1]

Pairing: Gar Logan x Fem!Powered!Reader, Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 13,538

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of various injuries including a mention of road rash, bruises, cuts, and a burn, mentions of death, some fluff I suppose, a mention of drug addiction, jason todd is a smartass and so is the reader, reader gets arrested (not long and doesn’t go to the station or anything like that), a mention of the Joker and Two-Face

Summary: ❝Tell me Atlas: What is heavier, The world or its people’s hearts?❞ You never expected your life to end up this way, turned upside down by an infamous Gotham villain. It’s been a living hell, every single day, until Dick Grayson brings you to Titans tower where you meet Gar Logan and Jason Todd.

A/N: I came out of the gate swinging with a long chapter. But, I have literally been writing this every single day for a month straight and I have never been more excited about posting a series before. I am VERY proud of this series so please lemme know what you guys think!! I am easily motivated to post more often when I get feedback 😂 The first few chapters take place between season 2 episode 1 and season 2 episode 2. You can add yourself the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary​  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!!

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You didn’t have what you would consider a horrible childhood. In the grand scheme of things, it could have been a hell of a lot worse. You had a mom who loved you and did her absolute best to provide for you. You rarely ever fought and your mom took care of you. You had a few friends, none that really stuck around when shit hit the fan, but you don’t blame them. So, you had some friends and that was cool while it lasted. Your dad was ad deadbeat addict you only remember seeing once and the way you see it, good riddance. You had your mom.

Had.

However, that was then and this is now where you’re standing on the street, using a car window breaker to break into a car late at night in the middle of Gotham City. Gotham has a habit of breeding some real fucked up psychos. You’re almost positive it has got be the water and it’s only a matter of time before everyone in the city either turns into Batman and Robin or The Joker and The Riddler. The psycho doesn’t care who you are and if you have a family, they take and take and laugh in the face of everyone else’s agony. So, here you are breaking into a car as you’ve done for last few months since the Joker decided to do what he does best. Kill.

Whenever you break into a car, which is almost nightly now, you remember judging those who did before because this is someone else’s property. They probably worked hard for it and who are you to take it from them. But, no one ever said surviving was easy. You get it now, a little guilty about it but not guilty enough to stop.

“Sweet.” You huff to yourself, smile on your face as you find a hundred dollars in the center console. “Idiot.” You mumble as you stuff it in your pocket.

You rummage around the car some more, hoping to find more. If the person was dumb enough to leave a hundred dollars, maybe there’s something you could sell. You push around a few unimportant things like papers and a pair of old shoes, not finding much. With the shrug of a shoulder, you consider this car a win and back out of the car only for the flashing of red and blue to catch your attention from your peripheral.

“Ah, fuck me.” You groan, turning on your heels and sprinting as fast as your legs will let you down a close alleyway.

The sirens sound behind you. There’s still a smile plastered across your face with the lights behind you and your feet smacking puddles. The city lights guide you in and out of other alleys and down side streets. It’s a bit of a thrill. The air is wet on your skin, thick with moisture from the previous storm. The city streets have that smell of wet pavement and fresh rain, something that lives in your bones. Running through the streets of Gotham is a regular activity but you find it fun, adrenaline in your blood and city lights guiding the way.

This is not the first time GCPD has found you breaking into a car but they didn’t catch you then and you don’t think they’ll catch you now. The only one really competent at catching anyone committing a crime is Gotham is Batman and Robin but they don’t normally go after kids robbing cars. It’s not exactly hot radar here.

Your chest heaves with every step but you’re having a blast. The burning almost doesn’t bother you with every stride, lungs feeling like they could collapse at any moment. That’s part of the thrill, how far can you run before they catch you or your lungs explode. Well, normally, but tonight the pavement is a little too slick. You go to run around a corner, shoes slipping on the pavement, sending you right into the pavement.

“Shit!” You scream out, feeling the road rash on your arms and your legs, knowing you ripped your clothes from the fall.

“Hands up.” One of the cops says as they catch up, getting out of his car.

You roll your eyes, racking your brain in hopes you can come up with a big bad escape plan. You do not want to go into the system. “Can’t you see I’m little hurt here, asshole?”

“Looks like that’s on you.” His voice is annoyed. “Get up.”

“Again, I’m hurt.” You pout up at him. “I should really have an ambulance. It’s your fault I fell.”

“How do you figure?” The cop questions, making it evident this is not how what he thought he’d be doing tonight.

“You were chasing me.” You shrug a shoulder, looking at your elbow, grimacing at the sight of blood and gravel in your arm. “I wouldn’t have fallen had you just let me go.”

“You committed a crime. You’re not getting off.”

“I’m a minor living in Gotham City who just broke into a single car. Our courts can’t even keep the fucking Joker behind bars, you think I’ll be put away? Please.” You let out a scoff following by a hollowed laugh.

The one thing you have never learned how to do is hold your tongue. It’s always been a little bit of an issue but ever since your mom died, it’s gotten worse. Who do you have to hold your tongue for? You have no one. At least if the cop arrests you, you’ll have a warm bed to sleep in and probably a meal. Not a good one, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“Get up.” The cops sneers, grabbing your arm and yanking you up. “We’ll take you to the hospital to get checked out. Where are your parents?”

“Dad’s somewhere getting high, mom’s in six feet under.” Your voice is nonchalant as you shake your arm free, your knees and arms feeling like they’re vibrating from the pain.

The cop looks down at you with a sigh. Unfortunately, this isn’t an unusual thing for him or any other cop in Gotham to deal with. Kids with parents who are either dead, nonexistent, or not participating in their lives is normal thing here. Far more normal than any other city. You have a smart mouth and you robbed a car but you’re also alone, parentless, and clearly homeless. He doesn’t really want to take you to the station. It’s another kid thrown into the prison system.

“You’re gonna call CPS, right?” You ask from the back of the squad car as the cop drives.

“That is protocol.” He says, glancing to you in the rearview mirror.

“I think that’s a horrible idea.” You scoff, plopping back in your seat, crossing your arms to the best of your ability with the stinging road rash.

“Can’t just let you live on the streets.”

“You could.” You sigh. scrunching your nose.

“Don’t you want a place to live?”

“Yeah, but the system is corrupt. You would know. Why the fuck would I wanna go there? I can take care of myself.”

“You’re in the back of my car and for what? A few bucks?”

“I’ve been doing fine. The pavement’s wet.” You pout. If you had shoes with actual grip, you wouldn’t have fallen.

“Look, I’m sure you’ll be fine, okay?” The cop’s voice is quieter this time, trying his best to be reassuring. “Lots of kids turn out fine.”

You roll your eyes, ignoring him as you watch the city pass by. There’s something in your gut that just knows this is not going to end well for you. Foster care, group homes, it never sounds like it’s going to end well, not for you. Maybe others, sure. Not all foster homes and group homes are bad, but you can feel it in your bones, the shattering of your world consuming you with every passing building. This is going to get really fucking bad.

1 Year Later 

Your eyes peek open, lids heavy and weighed down as your chest heaves. Your face is in agony with an aching pain your right side. Your head is throbbing as you blink your eyes, swearing it feels like you’ve been hit with a sledgehammer. The pavement is cool beneath you as your eyes move up the walls in front of you, a red and worn-away brick. It’s all moving so slowly for you, almost like a YouTube video lagging at 480p. Slow and staggered, taking in one sense at a time as you come to.

You feel someone beside you, their hand is warm on your arm and he comes into focus from the corner of your eye. Your heart rate spikes, the drowsiness vaporizes and the throbbing of your head suddenly makes everything click. Your eyes widen and you grab his forearm with your hand, a burning and stinging sensation makes him yank his hand away.

“Fuck!” He yells, looking at the growing chemical burn on his arm and back to you as you try to scramble to your feet, legs weak and stinging. “Wait!” He yells at you, trying to get you to stay put, processing what’s going on.

You get to your feet, the man following your lead and standing up, holding his arm across his stomach. Your eyes scan him over and look behind him, trying to ignore the throbbing in your head to come up with a clear plan to escape him. You’re not going back to the basement or to the heinous piece of shit who clearly left you here for dead.

“Who are you?” He asks, his voice is stern, jaw squared while he looks to your hands that outstretched in front of you. Your palms are flowing a florescent green aimed right at him.

You shake your head, matching his stare, teeth grinding. There's a firey anger in your eyes, almost telling him to go ahead and try you. You’re in agony, every muscle feels likes it’s being eaten by fire ants and you’re using every bit of strength to square off with him. But you hold that hard stare not willing to move. The pain will have to take a backseat this time.

“Look,” He lowers his voice trying to ignore the stinging pain of his arm. “I found you here. I was making sure you were okay.”

You scoff. “Sure. You just check on random people passed out in an alley?” You’ve lost a bit faith in humanity recently.

“You burn everyone who tries to help you?” He quips.

Your eyes narrow, not playing the game of getting ‘helped’ again. “Bold of you to assume people help.”

He sighs, dropping his head while his hair falls onto his forehead. “I’m Dick.” He picks up his head, stepping forward just one step and you take one back. “You’re hurt.” He gestures to your side where blood is seeping through the fabric of your shirt.

You look down and see the bright red staining the white fabric. Oh, that’s not good. A sense of queasiness comes over you and that’s when you really start taking in what’s happened. Flashes of the day before haunt your eyes, clouding your view of Dick. You slam your eyes shut which just seems to make the memories worse. The throbbing becomes a catastrophic earthquake in your head, begging to crumble everything in its path. Your hands come to your head, trying to get it to stop as the world around you starts to spin.

Dick takes a few steps forward. “Hey, are you okay?” Dick asks, looking down at you but before you can tell Dick to leave you alone, everything falls black, your legs going limp as you pass out, Dick catching you on the way down. “Alright, then.”

He looks you over, taking notice in the several cuts, bruises, and scars you have on your exposed skin. He has no idea what happened to you but he does know one thing, he’s going to find out and he’s gonna find out how you burned him. Dick’s always had a thing for saving kids so he picks you up and decides to take you to the tower. You were terrified, at least he knows you’ll be safe there.

Back at the tower, the elevator doors open and Dick walks through caring you with broken skin. Gar and Rachel are in the living room, their attention pulled back as they hear him come in.

“Hey, what are--” Gar pauses from his seat on the ottoman while Rachel stands up from her seat, eyes wide and confused as Dick comes into view.

“Who is that? What happened?” Rachel asks, her words fast as she walks over to Dick, Gar right behind her.

“I found her.” Dick states, his voice a bit exasperated. “Gar, can you help me?”

“Uh…sure.” Gar nods, knowing it’s because of Dr. Caulder that Dick’s even asking.

“Rachel, go spar with Jason.” Dick says and Rachel shakes her head but does as she’s told while Dick and Gar head off to the infirmary wing.

Dick places you on a bed while Gar stays behind him. This is weird. He knew Dick had a thing for picking up strays, that’s how him and Rachel ended up with Dick. But, it’s very weird being on the other side of that and actually seeing him bring someone home, especially someone who’s as banged up as you are and unconscious no less. It makes Gar pretty uncomfortable.

Dick directs Gar to grab bandages and the saline solution so they can clean some of the blood cuts that are visible to them. Gar does as directed without saying a single word. He just follows Dick’s lead and helps him clean a few cuts on your arms while Dick cleans a gash on your cheek. Whatever happened to you was bad, that’s something that everyone can see clear as day. But, they don’t know how it happened or why and maybe that’s the scariest part about it. Whatever happened, was bad and what if you’re more than a random person from the streets? Or what if you are and someone is hunting you or something? It’s a terrifying thought.

As they finish up, Gar sees Dick start addressing his own wound. He hadn’t noticed it before but now he can see a red burn on his arm. But, when Gar asked Dick about it, Dick brushed it off a bit by just saying you had done it when you came to for a minute. He didn’t seem to be too concerned about it which made Gar more confused by the whole situation. Not only are you just some girl off the streets but you also have powers and have already burned someone. That sounds a bit dangerous but Gar isn’t one to question authority so he goes with it.

They finish up before leaving you alone. Dick and Gar head to the comms lab where Dick gains access to the security cameras where he found you. He’s mostly showing Gar how to do the same, just in case something happens and Gar ever needs to know. Gar is more of the tech guy in the tower anyway. So, Gar watches closely as Dick brings up the city’s security cameras and they find footage of an older car that looks to be in decent condition pulling into the alley. A bald man with a medium build gets out, looking around to see if anyone is around. He walks to the back of the car and opens the door, pulling you out, looking completely lifeless. He dumps you up against a wall before getting back into his car, pulling out of the alley and driving away as if nothing happened.

Dick shakes his head, his jaw clenching and he just cannot understand how people do that to kids. Being a detective and Robin, he saw it a lot, grown adults beating on kids or getting verbally horrible with them, taking them to drug deals. It’s a mess and he cannot understand why adults do that to kids like it’s normal and it’s okay. There will never come a day where it doesn’t send his blood into a rapid boil.

“Do you think he…did that to her?” Gar asks, looking up to Dick with worry in his eyes.

Dick looks at him, seeing the concern embedded in his face. “I’m not sure.” Dick keeps his voice level, looking back at the screen. “But, by the looks of it, yeah or he knows who did.”

“Why would someone do that?” There’s sadness etched in every word. Gar doesn’t like real violence very much. He doesn’t know why anyone results to it unless it’s a dire situation. Similar to Dick, he just doesn’t understand how someone can do that to another person.

“Maybe we’ll get some answers as to what happened when she wakes up.” Dick nods his head, trying not to worry Gar more. “Why don’t you go join the others? I’ll watch the cameras until she wakes up.” The question was more of a request, rather than an actual offer and Gar knows that.

Gar nods his head and leaves, head swimming with the who, what, when, where, and why of the situation. Maybe you’re dangerous and that’s why it happened. You did burn Dick so you at least, have powers. But, maybe there’s more to it. Maybe you tried to defend yourself and it didn’t end in your favor. Gar knows it’ll be picking at the back of his head until they find out more but for now, there’s nothing he can do but listen to Dick and join Rachel and Jason.

You finally come to a few hours later. Your eyes open slowly, seeing a wall with a TV mounted to the wall in front of you, similar to a hospital room. But, it’s aesthetically warmer as you look around. The walls aren’t white and the lights aren’t fluorescent. The bed is definitely more comfortable and so is the blanket. For a split second, you almost forgot about your encounter with Dick and think maybe you really could be safe in a hospital but that second fades.

It comes back like a polaroid printing. Slow and fading the images, dulling the colors as it develops. It’s blotchy, the alley and Dick standing in front of you. A part of you isn’t entirely sure you can picture his face. All you know for certain is that he’s tall with brown hair and then you remember burning him, which wasn’t entirely on purpose. But, that’s it, it’s like it all just stop developing like maybe someone moved the camera right as they clicked the capture button. It just gets blurry and blank so you look around a bit more.

You notice gauze bandages wrapped around the cuts on your arms, an IV sticking out of your hand. You touch your face where there’s a bandage covering the large gash you had and you sit in a state of foggy confusion. Who is that guy and did he bring you here? If so, why? What’s his motive? Everyone has a motive and it’s never just to be kind. No one is ever just that nice. And where is here anyway? The room is big but it’s not a hospital, there isn’t anyone walking the hallway from where you can see. There isn’t a window looking into the room on the wall or on the door. It’s like a standard room so it’s not a hospital.

Dick walks into the room as you’re looking around, you only notice him when you look over and the dread fills your bones. It shouldn’t be too shocking given the amount times you’ve been hurt but you didn’t hear him come in and that sucks. Surely, with the laminate flooring and him wearing shoes, you should have been able to hear his footsteps but you didn’t. You can’t remember if his voice was muffled in the alley or if it was clear and that’s a bit unsettling. But, this has happened before and the hearing always comes back in a few days.

“You’re awake.” Dick says as he walks to the foot of your bed, his voice sounding a little muffled. You just stare at him, not wanting to talk until you know what’s going on. “What’s your name?” He asks and you get that look in your eye like you did in the alley, filled of anger and spite, with the slightest touch of terror. You shake your head slowly, standing your ground on not talking. “Alright,” Dick sighs, putting his hands in his front pockets. “Not talking?” Dick asks and you give him the quick raise of your brows, tilting your head slightly to your right.

It’s not that Dick thought this would be easy. He remembers being taken home by Bruce, how new and scary everything was. He had just witnessed his parents die and then some strange billionaire picks him up, decides to adopt him. It was weird and this is weird. It’s a little different and he doesn’t know your story, but he can understand your hesitance in talking.

“Well,” Dick lets out a breath. “Do you remember what happened?” Dick asks. “You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to. Just nod your head. The alley?” Dick clarifies and your eyes narrow but you nod your head twice. “Do you remember how you got there?” Dick asks and he sees your eyes fade as if you’re not with him anymore. The heart monitor starts to steadily go up.

You remember everything, the haunting in your bones running your blood cold. You remember everything in vivid detail. He asks that question and you’re right back where you were, right in that room in that chair, in screaming agony. It’s all there, right in the front of your head and you might not be there now but you swear you never escaped.

“Okay,” Dick gets the hint that you do remember but it’s nothing good. “The tower is safe, fully secured if you’re worried about someone coming to get you.” That brings you back and of course you’re worried about that. But what does he know? “No one here is gonna hurt you.” Dick assures you and he can see the slightest bit of relief come your face. “There’s Gar, he came in and helped me clean up your cuts. They’re pretty bad.” Dick explains, getting no reaction. “Rachel, she’s nice, good kid and then there’s Jason, he’s a bit much sometimes but he’s a good kid, too.” You raise a brow at him, as if to be questioning why there are three other teenagers here. “It’s a long story.” Dick states and you give him a long singular nod. “What’s your name?”

You debate it for a minute. If you tell him, he might be able to find who did it and call him to come get you. But, you look to the badges on your arms and you figure he could also just run a blood test of some sort and figure it out. If this is some type of medical center, that’s something he could do. There is also the slight chance he actually wants to help and maybe telling him your name is just that. Telling him your name.

“Y/n.” Your voice is graveled.

The corner of Dick’s mouth pulls into a small smile. “I’m Dick.” He says and you nod again, remembering that detail. “How’d you burn my arm?” He asks, this time a little sterner and you match him again, shaking your head slowly.

That’s not something you’re going to discuss with some random, run-of-the-mill average person. Having powers and talking to a seemingly powerless person doesn’t seem to end well for the one with powers. So, she keeps her mouth pressed into a hard line.

“You’re not gonna tell me, huh?” Dick asks and he chuckles softly. You sure are stubborn. You shake your head giving him a small but sarcastic grin. “Alright,” Dick nods his head. “How’s food?”

The idea of food is almost nauseating from lack of food recently. The more you think about it the more foods come to your head. Burgers, pizza, pasta, even a bag of chips. All of it is making your mouth water. You are fucking hungry.

You nod slowly.

“I’ll have Gar bring something in for you.” Dick says as he starts walking towards the stand next to your bed. You move slightly to get away from him, your right side aching with the movement. “I’m just grabbing the remote for you.” Dick assures you, keeping his voice level while he opens the drawer and pulls out a black remote. “Here, there are streaming services connected. You can watch whatever.” You narrow your eyes as if expecting it to be a trick of some sort. “It’s just a remote.” Dick tells you and you take it from him slowly, carefully dodging his hands.

You give him a thankful nod as you turn the TV on, a welcome screen lighting up the once black screen. Dick gives you a warm smile before heading for the door, choosing to let you be by yourself for a few minutes. You watch him leave and once he’s out of view, you put your attention to the TV. This whole thing feels weirder by the minute but you’re injured and it hurts to even move. So, you scroll through recommended movies and find one that you remember your mom always saying you should watch together. You never got around to it so you turn it on now, letting the movie help you forget everything that’s happened.

It's half an hour before someone knocks on the open door to your room. You look over to see a cute boy with green and black hair wearing a black shirt with a red logo at the door. He gives you a wide and cheeky smile, holding a plate of pizza.

"Hey, I'm Gar." He greets you, walking in and to the side of your bed.

You look between his eyes and his hair. Green hair. Interesting choice. "Y/n."

"Here." Gar offers the plate to you gently.

You eye it carefully, not sure if you should really take it. What if it’s been poisoned? For all you know, these people are also crazy. But, you look back to his eyes and they’re so warm and welcoming, his smile kind and hopeful. And you are hungry. So, you take it with reluctance, careful not to brush his hands.

"Dick wanted me to bring it to you." Gar states.

"Thanks." The word is quiet as you rest the plate on your lap.

Gar watches as you seem disinterested. Dick told him you were not too talkative and seemed scared, that’s why he asked Gar to bring it in. Rachel is kind of course but Gar tends to be a little warmer and Jason is an unpredictable smartass. Gar seems like the best shot to find out information and he knows that’s why he’s here. But, he feels a bit bad for it and he kind of just wants you to eat.

"There's, uh, there's different kinds of pizza in the kitchen. If you wanted something else I could--"

"It's okay." You offer him a gentle laugh. His words were rambled as if he were nervous and you think it’s kind of sweet. "Cheese is fine." You pick the slice, Gar sticking his hands into his pants pockets.

He watches her for a few seconds, noticing the marks on your wrists, brows furrowing. The marks look like they're ligature marks. The very middle is a brighter color as if to have been rubbed raw. A sting punches Gar's heart and he moves his eyes to the TV, not wanting to look at any more injuries you might have. He’s seen enough for today.

"Oh, I love this movie!" Gar gushes, watching as the goonies walk through a cave, trying to escape the Fratellis.

You glance over to him, barely turning your head. "Yeah?" You ask before taking a bite of your pizza.

"Have you never seen it?" Gar asks, looking back to you, ready to start rambling about it.

He loves movies, especially classic. Movies and video games, that’s how he killed his time at Caulder House and that’s how he kills a lot his time here when Dick isn’t having them train. He likes the adventures the characters get to go and the ones he gets to partake in for video games. Being hidden away like a dirty secret, it was the only way for him to have some type of adventure and the love of movies and video games grew. He could talk for hours on end about them.

"No?" You chuckle softly, finding the excitement in his voice amusing. "Looks old."

"1985, Steven Spielberg." Gar beams.

"Oh, okay so you know the movie." You chuckle, chewing your lip and it feels so casual with him.

Maybe it's just because he brought you food. Or that he seems the same age as you and he looks non-threatening, especially with the green hair. He also just seems ready to talk about anything which you thinks is a little funny. And he's not asking you any questions about who you are or what you can do. On top of that, he’s not looking at you the way Dick was, with some sort of expectation of something. Maybe that’s just Dick’s face, but it’s like he expected you to just talk and talk about what happened. You don’t want people to expect something from you anymore and Gar doesn’t. He just likes the movie.

"D-did you w-wanna watch it?" You raise the question, eyeing him from the corner of your eye. It’s been awhile since you’ve had contact with other people, let alone someone your own age who just wants to talk about a movie.

"Really? Yeah!" Gar jogs around the bed, going to the chair that's by the windows and pulling it closer to your bed. "Cool." Gar bounces in his seat. There’s a reason he has this poster hanging in his room, he will watch it at any given opportunity.

You laugh at the boy who's a little too excited to watch a movie but it's kind of nice. "I like your hair." You say quietly.

"Oh, uh, thanks." Gar smiles softly at you. "Oh watch this, Data has awesome gadgets." Gar's attention goes back to the screen as you watch Data's shoes up from the back, oil spilling from the heels.

"Well, that's cool." You raise your brows, finding it interesting.

"Right?!" Gar exclaims. “He even has a winch attached to him!” Gar says. “But, that’s later, sorry, don’t wanna spoil it.” Gar looks down for a second and then back to the screen.

“No, that’s really cool.” You nod at him. “I liked the zipline between their houses.” You let out a laugh. “I actually think my mom would have killed me if I tried that but it was sick.”

“Yeah, right? Dick should let us put in a zipline.” Gar looks back at you, the excitement etched across his face.

The two of you sit and watch more of the movie while you finish the pizza. You look to him every so often, subconsciously making sure he isn't planning anything or looks like he might be ready to do something fucked up. It's as if you’re fully prepared for him being nice to turn out to be some type of act but instead, he just keeps his eyes on the screen and points out fun little facts he has about the movie when the scenes come on. It's a little confusing for you. You don't really understand why he'd be in here over a movie unless he was told to. It’s nice, of course, but Dick was a bit persistent which makes you wonder if that’s why Gar came in here in the first place.

Gar looks back at you, catching you look at him. He lets out a sigh, looking back to the movie and the smile falls. "You, uh, you wanna know why I'm here, huh?" He looks back to you.

You scrunch your face. "Kind of." You shrug, watching Gar grow defeated. "I-I don't mind....you in here. I-I just don't...d-don't know why you are." Your eyes are slightly narrowed.

"Dick asked me to see if I could get you to talk." Gar confesses. He’s gotten you to say more than Dick did so he didn’t see a point in hiding it. Maybe honesty will get them a little further.

"Mmm, yeah that tracks from the two minutes I've known him." You roll your eyes.

"Well, uh, in his defense, you did burn him." Gar slows his words down as he looks at you again.

You shrug, looking your hands on the blanket. It's a little bit of shame flowing through your veins. If Dick really was just trying to help and your head told you something different, that's really an issue. You wouldn't want to hurt anyone that was really trying to help you. You’ve just spent so much time in the defensive mode it's like your mind forgot what it's like to shut it off for a minute.

"How'd you do it?" Gar asks carefully.

"Mm, nice try." You shake your head at him, appreciating the effort but it’s still a no for you.

Gar shrugs, looking back to the TV. Having powers can be dangerous and Gar knows that so maybe you knowing you’re not alone will help. "I can turn into a tiger. If you're worried about sounding like you're a freak or--"

"Sorry, did you say...tiger?" You question, your voice nearly yelling.

"Yeah." Gar laughs. "I guess, it's uh, kind weird." He hangs his head a bit.

"What? That's fucking awesome. How do you do it?" Your words all slur together as you sit up, crossing your legs and leaning forward.

Gar laughs as he watches as you get excited. The only one who's ever seemed interested in it, kind of like this is Rachel. It's making Gar feel incredible and powerful. "I don't know. This doctor cured me from a mysterious disease. This was one of the side effects." Gar gestures to his head. "Turning into a green tiger."

"That's the coolest thing I have ever fucking heard in my life. Can I see?" You forget every ounce of suspicion you should have in this unfamiliar place but how many times do you run into someone who can turn into a tiger? Batman has cool gadgets and a cool car and Superman can fly but neither of them can turn into an animal. Turning into an animal is basically the coolest thing in the entire world.

"Maybe...." Gar pauses, a grin tugging at his lips. He's not so sure Dick would be happy if he decided to transform just because you asked. "So, what about you?"

You sigh and if he's gonna tell you, maybe you can tell him something. Turning into a tiger is still a power. "I can produce acid with my hands." You flip your palms up, gesturing toward Gar but not too close. Your palms glow a fluorescent green. "I can control how much and how strong it is." The green fades as you put your hand back down in your lap.

"That's awesome." Gar's brows knit together. "Have you been like that your whole life?"

You shakes your head, the mood shifting in the room. "No, something new. But, uh, we're not gonna talk about that."

"Okay." Gar gives you a side smile, accepting that he got an answer.

He doesn't really like to push people for answers anyway. He knows the only reason Dick as him to come here is because Gar is the most likely get something out you. Jason is....an asshole and would likely call you a freak. Rachel doesn't really have a lot of control with her powers so if something happened, that probably wouldn't end well. Gar was really Dick's best option in trying to get any answer of you and Gar does want to help. He helps people. He'd say it's one of his better qualities.

You let out a sigh, watching Gar get back into the movie. "I'm-I'm gonna have to like...talk to him, aren't I?"

Gar looks back at you, pursing his lips with a shrug. "Yeah, but hey, he's really not a bad guy. He can help. He won’t force you to talk, but it’s not a bad idea."

You scoff, seeing flashes of the last night you spent on the streets of Gotham. "Yeah, you know the last person who told me that...." You pause, seeing Gar's eyes soften. "Well, I ended up here." You gesture a hand over your face, knowing it can't look pretty by the sense of the throbbing. "So."

"I'm sorry." Gar says softly. "For whatever you went through."

"Thanks." You say quietly. "Is there anyway I can....borrow a hoodie or something? It's...cold." You pause and you’ve always been good at deflecting.

He nods. "Uh, yeah, yeah. I can grab you one." He stands up quickly, moving to the doorway. "I'll be right back." He smiles sweetly at you before leaving, jogging down the hallway.

Gar jogs to his room, rummaging through his clothes, looking for an oversized hoodie. He could have asked Rachel because he knows Rachel has to have something, too but he almost worries that Rachel will go bring it herself. It's obvious you don't really want to talk to anyone and Dick asked him to do it. He wasn't even supposed to actually leave you alone until Dick told him to. He's never been very good at staying put when he's told to. Call it a flaw. So, he goes through his clothes quickly and finds a gray zip-up hoodie.

"Gotcha." Gar says triumphantly before quickly turning around.

"What are you doing?" Dick asks with exasperation, arms crossed as he stands in the doorway.

Gar's eyes widen. "Uh, hey, Dick. I was just grabbing Y/n a hoodie. She asked."

"Didn't I tell you not to leave her alone?" Dick questions but his tone isn’t mad or upset and Gar nods. "It's alright." Dick shakes his head and offers Gar a gentle smile. "Just trying to help?"

"Yeah." Gar nods slowly. “I feel bad for her.”

"I'll bring it to her." Dick holds out a hand and Gar hands over the hoodie. "Did you find anything out?"

"She can produce acid from her hands. They turn green so I guess it can be obvious." Gar explains, feeling a little bad about it since you obviously don't want him to know but Gar isn't going to lie to Dick. "That's really it, though."

"Good work. Thank you." Dick says with a closed, half smile.

"You're welcome." Gar says, not exactly pleased about it.

Dick leaves Gar in his room, heading back to you. While Gar was talking with you, Dick came up with a plan. He has to find out what's going on. So, he's just going to try and make friends with you. Surely, you seeing that Gar is just another kid and is happy and healthy should help. He'll try to level with you. Not push you or badger you, just level.

You catch a glimpse of Dick coming through the doorframe caring a grey hoodie and you just shake your head. You aren't sure what you expected. Is it too much to ask that you just doesn't want to do talk to this Dick guy?

"Gar was bringing this to you. I stopped him." Dick says, offering the hoodie to you as you narrow your eyes at him.

Everyone always has an ulterior motive. You’re trying to figure out what his could possibly be. Taking in kids who need help? Who have powers? If that's what he's doing, is he building a team of teenage weapons? Is he powered, too? Does he not think it's a little bit weird? But you’re cold and take the hoodie from him.

"Acid, huh?" Dick asks, walking to the front of your bed, your eyes following him still narrowed. "How much control do you have?" Dick asks.

Your brows raise, looking side to side. What a weird fucking question. "Uh...I-I don't...I don't know. A lot, I guess?" You pause, watching him carefully. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering. If you're going to stay here, it's best for me to know." Dick explains and he's so calm despite the fact you burned him.

Stay? You don't know these people, why would you stay? Is that something that people do? Just stay with complete strangers in hopes they aren't serial killers or something? What if they're all a group of serial killers?

"Why would I stay?" You challenge.

Dick shrugs. "Do you have anywhere to go?"

You chew the inside of your cheek, pulling the sleeves of the hoodie over your hands. "No." Your voice is broken, as you dodge looking at Dick.

That's a fair point. You don't have anywhere to go. The only place you’ve ever known is Gotham and that basement. That's it. You don't know anyone in the city or have a phone to call anyone back in Gotham, not that you want to really. At least in Gotham, living on the streets wasn't easy but it was familiar. You knew the cars to break into, the stores to rob and get away with it. You knew where all the cameras were and the GCPD shift schedule. But, this is San Francisco and you are clueless.

"I know it seems..." Dick pauses for a second as he leans against the wall behind him. "Scary maybe?" He pauses again, you looking up to him. "But, really, I just wanna help."

You think about it for a few seconds. This is the most comfortable you’ve been in a year. You’re on high alert and you don't think your brain will ever rest but you’re warm, in a bed, watching a movie. You had pizza. You can't remember the last time you had pizza. And you got all this by not robbing anyone or squatting. Maybe a night or two couldn't hurt.

"O-okay." You say quietly.

"Yeah?" Dick offers a side smile, surprised you said okay. "Did you want to stay here?"

"Um...if that's...okay." Your words are soft and unsure. "As long as you're not gonna like....kill me, I guess."

Dick chuckles softly, looking to the floor and back to you. "We're not gonna kill you."

"Well, that's great then." You shrug, tugging at the sleeves again. "Um...what about the others? Do they have powers?" You ask before continuing. "Gar said he can turn into a Tiger so...."

"Yeah, he can." Dick confirms it and catches the smile wanting to split your face. "Rachel, she has powers. We're still trying to figure them out. Then there's Jason, don't mind him." Dick warns with a grin. "You'll get used to him but he doesn't have powers. He's pretty good at combat, though."

You nod, as if to be accepting what he's saying. "So, you just...pluck kids off the street or?"

"For someone who doesn't answer a lot of questions, you sure have a lot of them." Dick offers a light-hearted chuckle.

You tilt your head with a shrug. "I-I, uh, haven't, uh." You furrow your brows. "Haven't had much contact with anyone really. In a while." You suck in a breath. “I am also just an inquisitive person.”

Dick nods. "Rachel found me, actually. She needed help, I didn't want to help but..." He pauses thinking back to the whole mess that unfolded. "I couldn't just leave her on her own."

"Now you want to help?"

Dick nods once more. "Yeah, she doesn't have anyone else. I lost my parents so I get it. I didn't have anyone either until someone decided to reach out."

You nod slowly, grasping it now. It's like a passing of the kindness kind of thing. Someone helped him as a kid, showed him some of the greatest kindness so now he's out here doing the same. Assuming what he's saying is all true, that is.

"What about Gar and Jason?"

"Gar was with Rachel, we got separate and he helped her. Wanted to come with and he didn't have a place that he felt like he belonged. Jason....well, he needs more guidance. He's not really allowed to go back to being who he was yet. I took him in."

Your eyes narrow with suspension again. "Is he like a bad person or something?" The way he talks about Jason compared to the others is a little weird. He speaks highly of Rachel and Gar but seems to have a harder time doing that with Jason. There is some sort of history there that you are very intrigued about.

"No," Dick answers quickly with a shake of his head. "He's just a little reckless."

"Ahh." You say quietly, knowing that being reckless tends to be a little fun but also understanding the consequences. If it weren't for recklessness, you'd still be in Gotham. "So, what now then?"

"I can show you around, show you to a room that'll be yours if you’re feeling up for it."

"I'll have a room?" You ask with a scoff. "How fucking big is this place?"

Dick laughs. "It's pretty big."

"Sweet." You sit up fully, crossing your legs. "Then what?"

"Do you have other powers?" Dick asks, feeling like maybe he'll get an answer.

The other one isn’t a big deal, really. It doesn’t hurt anyone and will maybe just protect you. To you, right now, it doesn’t seem like not telling him is really going to be much benefit to you anyway but you also doesn’t know exactly how to explain it.

“Uh...” Your brows furrow as you search for words. “If...someone tries to....hit me or attack me,” You start. “I get this intense throbbing in the back of my head and I just....know where they’ll come from.” You explain.

“Combat clairvoyance, how long have you had that?” Dick asks, finding it interesting.

You shrug your shoulders. “It’s a new thing, like the acid.”

“Okay,” Dick nods his head. “Anything else?”

“Not that I’m aware of.” You answer honestly. Maybe you have more, maybe not. You’re hoping with everything in you that you don’t have some hidden power, one is more than enough for you and you’re stuck with two.

"Okay then." He seems satisfied with answers, choosing not to push to find out how you got your powers for right now. "Want the tour or did you want to rest some more?"

"Tour." You say without even thinking about it. You’ve been in the same room for months and you’re tired of being locked in one room. You want to see everything.

"Alright." Dick chuckles. He walks to the side of your bed and offers you an arm to help you.

"I'm fine." You shrug him off, pulling the blanket off of you, revealing your black leggings that have holes at one of the knees and one on the other shin. "Are there like....clothes I can borrow?" You ask as you get out of the bed carefully, your legs feeling a bit weak as you stand.

"I’m sure we’ll find something. Hoodie is Gar's though." Dick explains.

"Cool." You flash him a smile. "He's cool."

"Yeah, he's a good kid." Dick smiles back at you as the two of you exit the room.

Dick leads you down the hallway and decides to start with the kitchen and living area. It's right in the middle of the tower and figured that might be a good place to start. You take in the open-concept rooms. You’re relieved it's not all white. You remember watching HGTV back in Gotham and everything was always white. It's like these grown adults had a problem with color. Who would want to live in a place that looks like a hospital? But this tower isn't like that. It has a dark color palette. The floors, the walls, all dark but big floor-to-ceiling windows line the back wall of the two rooms giving the place plenty of light. A large fireplace sits in the center of the living room, not against a wall. You like it a lot more than you would ever openly admit.

"Kitchen, living room." Dick gestures a hand out, letting you walk in front of him to look at the rooms.

"It's nice." You say, looking back at Dick. "You an interior designer or something?" You quip, looking to the windows, seeing the city.

Dick just looks at you, looking unamused before a smile cracks across his face. "No," He scoffs. "I didn't decorate the place."

"Mmm, a shame. It would give you at least a point in my book." You look back to him and give a sarcastic grin.

"You're keeping a point system?" Dick’s brows riase, unsure if you’re joking or not.

"You don't?" You scoff with a chuckle.

It was a sarcastic comment but you’re not gonna let that go. You'd keep the bit going for as long as you know Dick now. He's stuck with a point system.

"What's next?" You ask.

"Follow me." Dick walks past you, leading you down a dark hallway.

You follow closely, looking at the rooms you pass which all have doors closed. The spacing of the doors indicated they're all large rooms. You couldn't tell what the housing market is like, something you never could even in Gotham but you'd have to bet this is at least a million-dollar house, apartment? Whatever it should be called. It's so fucking big.

You’re pulled from your thoughts as you reach what seems to be a training room, a boy with black hair hitting a punching bag off to the side. You take in the area and are actually seriously questioning if Dick is turning kids into weapons. What would the point be to have a room like this if not? And there is already a kid working out so it’s being used. Maybe it’ll be beneficial to you. Learn a few things and escape when the time is right.

"This is the training room. When you're able, you can train here with everyone else."  Dick explains, putting his hands in his pockets as you stand at the open sliding doors.

The boy turns around hearing Dick talk. He looks at you with bruises and cuts across your face. He grimaces at the sight of you. Gar told him Dick brought you home but he didn’t think it was that bad.

"What the fuck happened to your face?" He asks with a scoff.

"What the fuck happened to yours?" You strike back, Dick doing a double take with the fire in your words.

"My face is fucking perfect, fuck you." Jason sneers, he was just asking a simple question. He didn't expect for you to have a comment back.

"Yeah, who the fuck says? Fuck you." You sneer back at him.

The immediate question of your face just caught you off guard. It seemed a bit rude, the way he asked and you’re not gonna let him talk to you like that. But, by the way his nostrils flare, you can tell that challenging him will be fun.

Dick watches the two of you, not even sure exactly what he expected from Jason but this should have been it.

"Hey," Dick shakes his head.

"She started it." Jason pouts his glove-covered hand at you.

"You asked what happened to my face!" You defend. “And my name is y/n.”

"Because you look like someone fucked you up. Maybe get in here and spar a bit, it'll save your face next time if you’re that offended." Jason snips.

"Jason, right?" You look to Dick and Dick nods.

"Heard about me, huh?" Jason gains a cocky grin as he walks closer to you.

"That tracks." You nod with the roll of your eyes. If he’s like this all the time, you get why Gar and Dick have both said you’d get used to him. But, what they don’t know is that people like Jason are always really fun to fuck with.

"What?" Jason asks, the smile still wide, almost expecting everyone to talk highly of him.

"Just heard you're really good at combat." You smile at him, playing into his ego and deciding to have a little bit of fun with him.

"Yeah, maybe I can show you a thing or two." Jason looks you up and down.

"I can show you." You do the same, mimicking his actions.

Dick stands there a bit in shock as to what is happening right now. You blatantly refused to talk to him and warmed up a bit to Gar. But, had he known introducing you to Jason would get you talking, he might have just done that first. What is even going on? And why are you humoring him? 

"Can we not--" Dick starts but Jason cuts him off.

"Look, babe, it looks like you're the one who needs help." Jason offers and you can't tell if this is him being nice or if he's trying to get laid or what but whatever the fuck it is, it is not working. But, either way, you know this is going to be fun.

"Okay, I'll bet you, you can't fucking touch me." You challenge him while Dick snaps his attention to you. Did you suddenly forget you were injured?

"You need more rest. Let's continue--"

"What's the bet?" Jason plays along.

You smirk at him, looking him up and down again. "Mmm, I don't know. If you can't land a single hit in thirty seconds, you owe me whatever I decide. If you win...."

Dick is standing there, asking the universe "Why him?" what did he do for this? He was just trying to help and now he's here with two of the same people. Of all people you had to be like, it had to be Jason. Can't be another Gar or Rachel. No, you have to be like Jason because Dick can never catch a break.

"I'll let you let off this time." Jason offers, catching Dick by surprise.

"Deal." You stick out your hand, Jason catching a glimpse of the mark on your wrists, pausing. "Don't make it fucking weird."

"Deal." Jason widens his eyes before sticking a hand out.

“Be careful.” Dick warns them.

Normally, Dick would step in and stop this. You’re injured and shouldn’t be doing anything really but he is pretty interested to see the combat clairvoyance in action. Jason is reckless and hot headed but he’s not violent and Dick doesn’t believe Jason will go full out. So, Dick doesn’t stop you as you walk to the middle of the floor, straight face.

"Come on, babe, let's see what you got." You mock Jason and Jason wastes no time in moving towards you.

Jason takes a swing, you dodging him making him miss, ignoring the pain your side. Your ability to mess with someone like Jason should also be a superpower. You will do everything in your power to not let any of your injuries interfere with this. Jason stutters for a second before trying again, missing. You give him a side smirk with the raise of your brows, taunting him. Jason huffs before putting more power into it, going faster this time and you put your arm up just in time to block him.

"What the fuck?" Jason mutters, throwing punches and trying to kick you while you keep dodging and blocking him.

It's fun for you and you know nothing about combat but you remember seeing videos of Batman and Robin fighting. He reminds you of them, the way he fights. If those two are any indication, he really must be good at it. But, this is also unfair to him and you think it's funny. You like how he's growing more and more frustrated, nostrils flaring with every miss. Jason takes another swing, right for the center of your face, you catch his fist, less than an inch from your nose.

You look past his fist, not letting him go, deciding to mess with him a little more. "You're kind of cute, ya know?" Jason narrows his eyes but his arm doesn't relax. He knows the tactic and he’d be lying if he didn’t find it a bit amusing that you tried it. "Nothing?" You raise a brow.

"Nice try." Jason yanks his fist away, going to the floor to trip you but you’re just quick enough for him to miss.

"Okay, that's enough." Dick walks to the middle with you, tired of watching and if this goes on any longer, he knows he'll be hearing from Jason about it. It's never something he wants to deal with.

“I won, thanks for that.” You beam at Jason. “Needed it.”

“You're just not playing fucking fair." Jason yells behind Dick.

"So, you thought it was fair to try hitting me, someone who has no combat experience and is injured but it's not fair for me to not tell you that I can avoid being hit?" You question and watch Jason become flustered.

"You started it." Jason groans and you can't help but find it funny.

You completely understands why Dick and Gar weren't very vocal about Jason. You get it now. He's definitely something else. Most people would probably find him annoying and an asshole, which he is, but you find it amusing more than anything. Plus, he looks like he carries damage. Something about the way he moves, the lost and distant look in his eyes. It's interesting.

"Yeah," You grin with a shrug. "And what are you gonna do about it?" You taunt, a wide, challenging smile on display.

Jason's brows furrow as he jerks his head back. He's never had anyone challenge him like this before and he's not a fan of it. He takes the same shit he dishes out but it is kind of fun going back and forth about it. But he really doesn't get it. No one comes out of the gate swinging like that.

"We're gonna continue the tour if that's okay with the two of you." Dick looks between you, his voice more a statement rather than an actual question.

"Okay." You offer him an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, I got shit to do." Jason mumbles, walking back to where he was when you first walked in, eyes trailing on you a little longer than he really wanted.

You smirk to yourself, watching Jason walk back to the punching bag. It's weird because he's kind of an asshole but something about him feels like home. Maybe it's because he isn't tip-toeing around you or offering you some weird type of kindness that makes your skin crawl. He doesn't look sympathetic and look at you with pity. Not after you talked away. Dick and Gar do though, it makes you shift and you hate the uneasiness about it.

You follow Dick back down another hallway decorated with lights and a few memorabilia-type things. It gives you the impression this isn't some new superhero thing, despite the younger ages of the other kids. It looks like this place was lived in for awhile, haunted by previous heroes.

"This is your room." Dick opens a black door, sitting in between two other rooms and showing you inside.

It's plain and simple. A TV sits on an entertainment center against the left-hand wall. Large windows line the first half of the room and a bed sits against the right wall. It's as if the room is literally divided into two parts, a living area and a sleeping area. Two small backless shelving units divide the two areas. A dresser is next to the left-hand side of the door, a turntable and a lamp sitting on top. They're empty and so is a bookshelf next to the left side of the bed. It's so empty.

"We can go tomorrow to get you some clothes and a few things if you want." Dick offers as you walk into the room fully taking it in.

"Uh..." You stutter, turning around to face him. "I-I don't have...money?"

Dick smiles gently. "It's okay. I got it."

Your eyes narrow at him and you cannot figure out why he would do this. "Okay...why? Like why are you doing this? Everyone has a motive so what's yours?"

Dick shrugs a shoulder, putting his hands in his pockets. "The people here are special and so are you. It's hard being out there and being special."

"So what makes you special then?"

"Same as Jason."

"Ahh." You nods your head once. Interesting. "What if I don't wanna fight?" You ask.

Dick shakes his head. "You don't have to, you just have to learn to control your powers. It's up to you if want to learn more. But you'll be safe here."

You feel like this is some type of dream about to turn into a nightmare. You’ve had a dream before where someone comes to rescue you from the dreadful and dreary basement but then they turn. They find out about your powers or they're just as fucked up as her foster dad and they just use you. An endless string of torture. This doesn't feel like that, not really, because this isn't a dream. You’re wide awake but it's hard to believe.

"Okay." You say, turning back around and walking to the TV.

"You can stream from it if you want, it's connected to the Wi-Fi already with the accounts, like the TV in the other room." Dick explains.

You look back to him. "Cool." Your voice is quiet and you always just liked to watch TV and movies.

It wasn't a coping mechanism or some type of escape from the hell for Gotham. Some people find fun in sports or art or social media, your thing was TV. You just found it fun to see the stories play out in front of your eyes, not reading, just watching. A part of you think it might sound dumb if you said TV was one of the things you missed the most.

"Well," Dick sighs. "I'll leave you be then. If you need anything, I'll be around and so will everyone else. Gar is to the right and Jason left, Rachel is across the hall." Dick explains.

You nod, still just looking around unsure how to even feel about being here. Is there a way you can plan an escape if shit hits the fan? Always have some type of escape plan. Anything can happen and you won't be captured again and held captive. But, Dick is really nice and there's a part of you that is certain if he were kidnapping kids and holding them here against their will, he would have let Jason go a long time ago.

"Uh....t-t-thank you." You stutter catching Dick right before he leaves the room. "For saving me."

"Don't mention it." Dick smiles at you, feeling good about the decision to help you. "Just don't burn me again."

"Yeah..." You scrunch your face. "Sorry."

"It's alright, get some rest." Dick says kindly before leaving you to yourself, shutting the door behind him.

Meanwhile, in the training room, Gar and Rachel have joined Jason. Rachel, thus far, is the only one who hasn't met you and she's curious. And if Dick is gonna bring another person so soon, all three of them feel like they need to talk about it. They should get a say if someone gets to join their little found family.

"What is she like?" Rachel asks.

"She's nice, seems scared though." Gar shrugs while Jason scoffs.

"She's a bitch." Jason walks over to the two of them. "And she's a freak."

Rachel rolls her eyes. "You think everyone is a freak." Jason has also called her a freak on more than one occasion.

"She was nice to me." Gar shrugs, casually knowing it's not exactly easy to be nice to Jason even on a good day.

He's his best friend, of course, but he's not easy to get along with. It's kind of up to Jason and what kind of day he's had. Gar, on the other hand, is the easiest one in the tower to get along with. He's just nice to everyone even if they aren't nice to him.

"Did she tell you how and why she burned Dick?" Rachel asks, ignoring Jason as he takes a seat beside Gar.

"She can produce acid with her hands." Gar states, ignoring the groan leaving Jason. "She didn't say why."

"Maybe that's why Dick brought her, to help control her powers." Rachel offers.

"Maybe." Gar tilts his head with the raise of his brows, not really thinking that's what it is. "I think he just has a thing for picking up strays."

"I wasn't a stray." Jason scoffs in his own defense, the idea of Bruce sending him here still sour in his mouth.

Rachel glares at him, unamused while Gar just shakes his head and ignores him. "You could talk to her." Gar says. "She's only talked to us, maybe a girl will make her feel better about being here."

"Yeah," Rachel laughs softly. "There's too much testosterone here." Rachel looks to Jason. "Is that okay with you?" She asks mockingly, not actually asking for his opinion.

Jason shrugs, seemingly to have not gotten the sarcastic tone. "She is hot, ya know, besides the cuts and shit so yeah. Need something pretty to look at it."

"Gross." Gar grimaces.

"You're such a fuckboy." Rachel shakes her head, looking back to Gar.

"Hey, fuck you." Jason retorts. "All you do is stare at Gar, I want someone to look at."

"I do not!" Rachel fires back, cheeks tinting red.

Gar watches the two of them, shifting in his seat having never noticed if she did stare at him or not. He's hoping she knows they're just friends. He is not very good at letting people down softly, mostly because he trips over his words and makes everything worse by trying to spare their feelings.

"Right." Jason scoffs, getting back to his feet. "You're with me, right?" Jason looks to Gar. "About y/n?"

"Uh..." Gar tilts his head, forehead wrinkling not even wanting to get into this.

He thinks it's a little insensitive. Of course, it's exactly what he expects from Jason but he's not gonna get dragged into it. You just got here and you’re very clearly traumatized. He's not looking at you in any type of way besides with sympathy and empathy. Though he does think you’re pretty, even with the cuts and bruises Jason wants to so rudely dismiss but Gar won't say it. It's not his place or the time. Surely, they can let you settle in and let you just do your own thing. They don't need to be talking about you.

Jason shakes his head. "We gotta find out more about her though, right? Like who the fuck is she?"

"Does it matter?" Rachel counters.

"Yeah, man, I don't think it's up to us." Gar adds in.

Jason puts his weight to one leg. "What if she's like...here to kill us or some shit? Shouldn't we know?"

"Pretty sure Dick would have looked into that already." Gar states, eyes slightly narrowed at him.

Jason is paranoid and dramatic and over-enthusiastic about being a hero. Gar thinks it's the coolest thing that's ever happened to him, becoming a Titan. There are so few people who get to say they're a Titan and Gar is one of them. He's so excited to get out there and fight these big bad guys but not until Dick says they're ready. Jason, on the other hand, has the experience and doesn't think he even needs to be here. Gar can tell Jason is just hoping you will be part of a big bad plot.

"Did he tell you that?" Jason counters.

"He doesn't need to, Jason." Rachel grows more annoyed with Jason with every passing second.

"Come on, you wanna know, right? How she got her powers? Ended up here? Think it's some coincidence or some shit with Dick finding her?" Jason argues, looking directly at Gar knowing Gar won't be able to resist. "We can find out."

"Gar." Rachel says.

It's the way she said his name that he knows it's threatening but...Jason has a point. If Dick and you don't find out, no one else will know. He doesn't think Rachel will rat them out or anything. Jason is always just very persistent and he'll probably do it himself, if Gar is there and he gets caught, maybe Dick will go easier on him and they won't have to listen to it.

Gar sighs. "Fine but just to sure."

"Unbelievable." Rachel stands up. "You two are terrible. We shouldn't pry into someone else's privacy."

"What if there is someone though? Jason kind of has a point." Gar counters, still sitting on the ground. “I mean, you were being chased by people who wanted to kill you. Maybe it’s better if we find out just to be safe.”

"You don't have to come." Jason shrugs a shoulder, looking at Rachel.

"I wasn't going to. You two do whatever you want." She waves her hands in annoyance before heading to leave the training room. "I'm going to be normal and just talk to her." Rachel leaves the boys to themselves, knowing they won't be far behind to go to the computer.

Gar and Jason stay in the training room a little longer before making their way to the infirmary. They saw the cuts and Gar helped Dick clean them up so Gar knows they can get blood from the garbage to run your DNA. It's definitely an invasion of privacy that doesn't quite sit well with him but what if Jason is right? He's paranoid, sure, but what if Dick didn't look into you? What are they supposed to do? It can't hurt. Dick sometimes seems too trusting, he didn't really ask Gar any questions before letting him join the little group. If Dick is just waiting for you to start talking and you’re a part of something bigger, that would be very not good for any of them. That's the reasons he lists as to why this isn't some horrible thing they're doing.

"Y/n Y/l/n." Jason crosses his arms as they see your picture show up on the screen.

"Born in Gotham City." Gar says, sitting at the computer, matching the stare on the large screen before looking at Jason, then back to the screen. "Uh...let's see. Her mom was killed...by the Joker." Gar's voice grows sad and quiet, looking over to Jason knowing his dad was killed by Two-Face.

"Shit." Jason huffs, a sense of what one might describe as guilt comes over him knowing what it's like.

"Dad has a rap sheet for drugs." Gar looks back to Jason and then back to the computer, growing more uncomfortable with the similarities of the two of you. "She was arrested for breaking into cars, put into foster care. That's all there is." Gar reads it off before looking back to Jason.

Jason squints his eyes at the screen, knowing how close he was to being you and something in the pit of his stomach feels horrible for how he treated you. It makes him feel uneasy, knowing he could have been you had he just robbed the wrong car of the hubcaps, had you robbed the right one. It’s a reality check.

"Look up the guy." Jason says, hiding the uneasiness in his voice.

"Jerry Johnson, what a name." Gar mocks. "Uh....former scientist from Gotham."

Gar lets the words sit in his mouth. The thing about Gotham is that it really does breed special kind of people. The fucked up kind of special. Mr. Freeze, Scarecrow, Penguin, the Joker, the Riddler, what is happening in that city? It doesn't take much for Gar to figure that your powers didn't come from anything accidental, that you were some type of test subject your foster dad used. That explains a lot, your attitude toward Dick. The defensiveness. Gar wonders how he came out the other end not like that. He wasn't really an experiment but...it was some crazy scientists who thought Gar changing into a tiger was better than dying. It is but it's not always easy and he's not always a fan of it. It's hard to imagine how you might feel.

"Fuck, dude." Jason huffs, looking down to Gar. "Think that guy did that to her?"

Gar shrugs, not wanting to think of someone being victimized like that. Beat, tortured, chained up. It makes his stomach twist. "Maybe." Gar clears his throat. "We should...get out of here." He looks away from the computer.

"Yeah," Jason says quietly while Gar exits out of everything.

"It doesn't seem like she's the bad guy." Gar's voice is defeated and maybe a part of him was hoping you would be. It would give them something to do but this just got really sad, really fast.

"Guess not." Jason mutters and Gar can't tell if he's disappointed or just lost in his thought about it.

"You okay, dude?"

"Yeah." Jason gives him a grin. "Just fucked up."

Gar curls his lips in with a nod. "Yeah."

While the boys sit and figure out how they're supposed to handle this newfound information without letting you or Dick know how they found out, Rachel went to your room.

You’re in your room, sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and watching Zombieland. The movie's been out for a while but you’re so in love with it. There's zombies who don't just walk and eat people. They actually have speed and the characters aren't dumb. There are rules to surviving any type of horror movie and this guy in the movie just gets it. It's by far one of your favorite comfort movies. And you’re having a great time, just relaxing for the first time in a year. It's like you can almost breathe clearly again, wrapped in a blanket on a couch and in a warm home. But, then a knock sounds on your door and you’re reminded that you’re not alone.

You get up, taking the blanket with you. "Uh....hey?" You ask, seeing the girl with purple hair, dressed head to toe in black with a weird red gem in the center of her forehead.

"Hey," Rachel smiles softly. "I'm Rachel."

"Y/n." You offer, hand still on the door.

"I just wanted to come and meet you. I know you met everyone else." Rachel explains nicely.

You nod and you almost feel like an animal at a zoo but that's not Rachel's fault. It's like when someone new comes to school halfway through the school year and suddenly everyone wants to talk to them. They're like a new toy.

"Yeah, uh, yeah." You nod, sliding your hand off the door. "Did....you wanna come in?" You ask, not sure if you should or not. It all feels so bizarre.

"Sure." Rachel smiles softly, walking inside while you shut the door. "How do you like your room?" Rachel looks around at the empty place, wondering how you would decorate it.

"It's okay." You answer with a shrug. "Kind of boring, I guess."

"Dick will get you stuff to make it yours." Rachel explains.

"Right." You nod slowly before going back to your spot on the couch.

You don't have much else to say. You’re not actively trying to be standoffish. Rachel is just being nice but you don't even know how you’re supposed to talk to people and you’re truthfully tired and want to enjoy your movie. You just didn't want to sound like a bitch and tell Rachel to leave.

"What do you think about the guys?" Rachel asks, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, not getting too close to you which you really appreciate. Rachel figures talking about the guys might be an easy way to get you to warm up to her.

"Uh..." You furrows your brows and a smile creeps onto your face. "Gar's really nice." You say quietly. "Dick is okay, I guess. Jason's an asshole."

Rachel lets out a laugh. "I know! It's been just us for a month." Rachel leans her head back dramatically making you laugh. "You'll get used to him. Gar and Dick make it easier."

You shake your head. "I don't mind, actually." You huff with a smile, earning yourself a surprised and confused look from Rachel. You shrug. "He's funny to fuck with. He gets all mad and I think it's funny."

"What'd you do?" Rachel asks, intrigued why someone would find it funny but also kind of wants to see someone actually get under Jason's skin and not be bothered by whatever ignorant comment he'll say.

"I asked him what was wrong with his face when he asked about mine then I challenged him to a bet. He lost." You hold your up proudly.

"What was the bet? Teach me. He bugs me." Rachel says dramatically, her eyes wide.

"I can do this thing," This time when you explain it, your head is held with pride and confidence. "I can sense when someone is gonna attack me, told him he could hit me and he couldn't."

"That's awesome! Can I be there next time, please?" Rachel pleads.

Rachel and Jason haven’t gotten along since her dad possessed him. They got along fine when they met in Chicago but then things got a little rocky. Rachel actually doesn’t like not getting along with him, especially living under the same roof, but she can’t pinpoint exactly what it was that made him not like her. She’s tried to be nice but it never really gets her anywhere with him. So, seeing someone put Jason in his place sounds like a good time.

"Sure. I don't think Dick thought it was very funny." You let out a soft chuckle, warming up to Rachel. She is very nice.

"Gar will think it's hilarious. They spar together more than us and Gar puts up a good fight but Jason always wins." Rachel rolls her eyes.

"Gar doesn't seem like a fighter."

Rachel shrugs a shoulder. "He's not."

"Probably a good thing, he's cute." You blurt it out, shocked you actually said that out loud. "I have said too much."

"No, it's okay. He is." Rachel laughs softly.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" You backtrack. "Are you a thing?"

"No!" Rachel exclaims. "No, we're just friends. No one here is like a thing or anything."

"Oh, okay. That's a bit surprising. Though, I guess you wouldn't be into Jason." You joke.

"God, no." Rachel grimaces with the thought. "I'd rather die." Rachel says making you laugh. "Is that Gar's?" Rachel points towards the hoodie.

"Uh...yeah. He loaned to me. I asked for a hoodie because it's a little cold in here."

"That's really nice of him." Rachel offers a soft side smile.

"Yeah..." You tug the sleeves over your hands.

"Can I ask what happened to you?" Rachel asks carefully.

You shift in your seat. You’d love to go as long as humanly possible without saying anything about it. It's just traumatic. It's not even like it's a secret. It's just hard to talk about and you don't know these people at all. It feels like something more personal than to just go around and blasting it to complete strangers. If Dick makes you say something, you will but until then, you'd like to just tell them on your own time. Not when you’re asked.

"Uh...it's....a-a long story." You look to the TV and Rachel can see that a part of you just shut down with the question. It's obvious that it's bad but Rachel didn't think it would cause a distant reaction.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me or anything but if you want to talk about it, you can talk to me." Rachel's voice is quiet.

"T-thank you." You glance at her from the corner of your eye. "Uh...it's okay. I, uh, I just don't wanna talk about it yet." You shake your head.

"That's okay." Rachel smiles softly. "No pressure. We all have shit here." Rachel huffs with a laugh.

"I can tell." You whisper. "No offense." You say quickly. "You seem fine, actually but everyone else has....a vibe. Even Gar, feels like there's something going on. Jason can't be that big of an asshole without having trauma and Dick seems like he picks up teenagers off the street because of trauma."

Rachel laughs. "Yeah, pretty much." She lets out a sigh. "My dad is a demon who tried to kill me."

You furrow your brows, forehead wrinkling as you slowly turn to look at Rachel. "I'm sorry, what?"

Rachel nods. "Gave this as a trophy." Rachel taps the gem that's embedded to her forehead.

"Well..." You pause. "What the fuck?" You laugh. "It's not funny...I just....did not think I'd hear that."

"Yeah," Rachel laughs softly. "I didn't expect to find out my dad was a demon. I guess it explains a lot." Rachel scrunches her nose.

"Yeah, meeting the parental figure that fucked shit up can sometimes have answers even if it's not the ones you want." You say quietly, feeling Rachel staring at you. "Long story, dad's an addict. Got the answers I didn't want but needed."

"Jeez." Rachel sighs.

"Yeah," You say, realizing you’re saying too much and figured this was enough for the night. "Hey, uh, I'm like...really tired." You tug the sleeves of the hoodie over your hands again. "Can I get some sleep?" You ask slowly, trying not to sound harsh.

"Yeah, of course!" Rachel says quickly, getting up from her spot. "I'll see you tomorrow." Rachel smiles at you. "You can trust us, just so you know. We're a family here."

"Thanks." You answer before Rachel heads for the door and leaves.

You almost hate to admit but you think maybe you could fit in here. It's a bunch of people with trauma trying to make something work, maybe even work through it. You actually like everyone that lives here from the small interactions you’ve had. Everyone seems genuine, even if one of them is an asshole, at least it's genuine. None of them seem to be here being held against their will. Rachel and Gar made you feel comfortable. The door isn't locked and you can leave when you want. Something about it still feels too good to be true but for this moment, just this moment, you let yourself sit in peace with the hope that it's all going to be okay again.

next chapter

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[felinespooky]

Yet Another Twisted Wonderland Theory

Still about Yuu

I am back on my mad ramblings regarding Twisted Wonderland. This time it’s not gonna be as far fetched as a previous post I did that proved to be nothing more than connecting dots that are never there. I feel like this one actually has some merit though as long as I don’t spiral out of control thought wise. Without further ado, let’s begin.

The theory this time around: The game Yuu is more of a conglomerate of the various manga Yuus.

“But how would that make sense?” I hear you, but before I can answer any of that, we are to hit the necessary bullet point questions:

* What connects the Yuus together?

* Who’s crazy enough to do this?

* What purpose does this serve?

Starting with “What connects the Yuus together,” I would have to say I don’t have all the answers considering that, at the time of writing, one Books 1-3 are out and available. Although, I’m only aware of Books 1 & 2 being in English; I play on EN so everything will be lagging behind all things considered. And to make it easier, I’d advise to have a separate tab that has information about what is canon to Game Yuu (@starsilluminateourgalaxy, @mee-op, and @darkscorpiox are where I find all the information regarding Game Yuu)

**A/N: Now, this is where I’d make a vinn diagram but unfortunately with the busy schedule I have going on, I haven’t been able to sit down properly and go full on MatPat or Theorizer on this section before someone or something demands my brain. I will one day make this list; just one a different post or a future edit.**

Now for “Who’s crazy enough to do this” question. The answer is simple: Crowley, our deadbeat bird dad. It’s been heavily hinted, dare I say proven, that it’s him we heard in the beginning of the game as Spooky Hand TM. Spooky Hand/Crowley does this whole speech right before waking up:

“Ah, my lovely Lord,

The noble and beautiful flower of evil,

You are the most beautiful, number one in this world.

— Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the most…

— For thee, guided by the Mirror of Darkness,

Follow thy heart and take the hand of the one reflected in the mirror.

Flames that turn even stars into ashes,

Ice that imprisons time,

Great tree that swallow even the sky,

Don’t be afraid of the power of darkness,

Come now, show your power,

Mine, theirs, and yours,

There’s only little time left,

Do not let go of that hand, at all cost.”

Now, going by key lines, it seems more like an incantation of sorts. Like, asking Hades to release a soul, and the companion to a flower. As if Yuu/the player is merely a seed that’s in the process of blossoming into whoever you want. Hell the “mine, theirs, and yours” line in particular strikes me as off.

Which brings me to the “what purpose” question. The answer is to merely complete a timeline that doesn’t end in tragedy. I believe there is a “time loop theory” running around in the fandom. Though it doesn’t function like the usual trope like in that one Supernatural episode; it functions more like an Undertale loop. In this case, it’s Crowley being able to do it instead of us. Now, why would this matter? I believe it’s because Crowley feels guilty about what happened the first time, most likely a death to some unknown previous Yuu. He genuinely felt sorry for this kid and decided that until he can figure it out, he’d let them stay. Plus they’re keeping Grim under control… but then they die. Best guess is either the cave he sent us to with Ace and Deuce, though that might’ve been different than the one we know, or Riddle’s Overblot. Regardless, he probably felt guilty about it, so he decided to rewind time. Except, something happened, the kid changed. He’d be confused, but he can’t blow his cover since he’s not supposed to be messing with time. So he takes it by the chin and acts normal. And the timeline does change, this Yuu (Yuuken) survives! But only a little as eventually, this one dies to Leona’s Overblot. However, he’s not letting this piece of Yuu die, he tries again. Except, it’s a different Yuu, Yuuka. The timeline changes just a little, she survives just a bit longer than the other, but she soon succumbs to death. This pattern happens until it’s Game Yuu’s turn. This time, Crowley has decided to create this Yuu, one that’ll survive everything in Twisted Wonderland! One that’ll survive Grim’s Overblot this time around! Maybe for shits and giggles, he forms this one into the image of the very first unknown Yuu. After all, if he just so happens to have something from the previous Yuus, how hard can it be to make life? However, that’s not the only thing that’s changed, he’s changed too. He was probably an actually great dude, but getting too attached to the most unluckiest kid to ever exist has wounded him. So, he tries to keep us busy and away from him. He probably cries seeing our Yuu just living life ignorant of his goal. But sevens forbid he cry, so he acts. All the while he hints at his works, calling himself kind and generous, probably wanting us to remember if possible.

Even if this theory flops like my other hot take, this makes for some hella great Crowley angst. Let the deadbeat crow suffer.

[artistic-izzy-multifandom]

Izzy's Heavily Improvised Essay on Bambi 2

(to folks who follow me for other stuff, I apologize right ahead of time, just doing my "multifandom" name justice XD)

Okay y’all, bear with me, this was written in the heat of the moment and therefore I might go around in tangents. I’ve been dying to write this essay thingy for months actually, but I kept chickening out when I went to try and just do it. And it was also inspired by Wreckham’s own Bambi post that I saw a while ago, so uh... Yeah.

(also this mainly features my opinions, don't take them as facts >_<)

So, starting things off with this:

It shall be no secret that I’m an avid fan of the Bambi movies (more the second than the first, but we’ll get to that in a bit). 

It’s no surprise that visually speaking, Bambi is a spectacle from beginning to end, on top of having a beautiful soundtrack and a fascinating way of being the closest thing to an animated documentary with its environments.

However, it comes with the price of... Well, lacking a concrete plot. And by that I mean outside of just showcasing Bambi’s life from birth to adulthood. Not to say there’s no value in that, but I reckon it’s not the kind of movie lots of people nowadays would just want to watch multiple times in a row.

(plus considering how much of the novel’s plot they cut out when adapting it to the screens… That’s a can of worms for another day)

Yes, even I, the avid fan, will admit this flaw in the storytelling. And it’s a big reason why I maintain my statement on loving the second movie more than the first.

And oh where do I begin?

Namely how its plot is basically about the time that happened between Bambi’s Mother’s death and the scene with all those cheery singing birds — in other words, the period in which Bambi was raised by his father, the Great Prince of the Forest.

While animation’s changed significantly (given that, y’know, 64 years apart) and also different voice actors were hired for the characters (again, 64 years), I will come here and say that visually the movie did the original justice, and did it in spades!

Plot-wise? On one hand, there’s more dialogue and the humor is a bit more targeted for younger audiences, which in fairness will put off some who are more inclined towards the original.

On the other hand, the movie is also not afraid to explore some darker subjects, some indirectly (like the whole aspect of grief both for Bambi and his father and their respective ways of dealing with it), and some directly (such as the entire Deer Call scene).

And the fact that unlike the first movie, the characters here are more fleshed out, the main highlight of that is none other than the Great Prince himself; in the first movie he... Didn’t have nearly enough screentime or lines to justify his status as protector of the Forest, at best he was a minor character given too much importance, and at worst he was a living prop.

In the second? He’s the second main focus of the story, with a whole character development arc on how to be a father to Bambi despite his belief in tradition (aka the whole “the does care for the young” thing). In fact, I think I should dedicate this part of the essay on his character, shall we? Because years of rewatching the movie made me think a lot of things regarding him (which I don’t see many or even anyone talk enough about):

If we’re gonna think about it, we never really get to know the Great Prince too deeply prior to his mate’s death. Everything we do know about him personality-wise came afterwards, at a time when he had to look after Bambi while also looking after the Forest as a whole.

It’s incredibly easy to label him as a jerk and a deadbeat father when one fails to consider a few things:

1- His mate died, and given the timeframe, the Prince was unable to reach both her and Bambi in time before Man shot her; made worse when you remember that in the first movie he was able to save them both from Man. Literally, at the beginning of the second movie, one of the first expressions we see from him is sadness. Wouldn’t you think he was feeling not just grief, but guilt too?

2- He was left to raise his son alone, at one of the harshest points of wintertime, and only asked Friend Owl to find a doe because the owl offered some help in the first place; recalling the tradition thing, the Prince had no experience with children whatsoever, can you blame him for being baffled at the idea of him raising his son at first?

3- He’s the protector of a whole forest. That’s like, hundreds and hundreds of lives he’s dedicated to keep safe from Man at all times every single day, hundreds and hundreds of animals depending on him to not get shot. Even if he’s experienced at what he does, that’s still a huge pressure onto a single individual, and the fact that he can’t always save everyone every time Man is in the woods.

And a bonus: forget his status as the Great Prince of the Forest for a moment, and what do you have? A stag who lost his mate (whom he genuinely loved) and is left to raise their son entirely on his own.

If I were to guess, I’d say the Great Prince was far more serene prior to the tragedy; still a recluse, what with being the protector of the woods and then some, but less stern in general.

Everything we see of him before the completion of his character development, is him trying to make do with something that was out of his control and dealing with its consequences. (there’s a reason why ‘Parents as People’ is a trope, y’know)

Hell, it was all but stated that even before he became more open towards Bambi and embraced his role as a parent, he already cared about his son in his own way. I’m under the belief that he’s always been capable of raising him, all he needed was some time (and a bit of a nudge from Bambi himself at points).

Plus he was already regretting the whole “new mother to Bambi” plan and intending on calling it off by the time Friend Owl brought Mena, he only went through with it anyway because he thought he screwed things up with Bambi for good - btw I do not blame Bambi for being mad, poor guy’s spent most of the movie trying to impress his dad and taking every lesson to heart, only to find out about the arrangement at the worst time possible.

On another tangent, I feel like one aspect that’s often overlooked is how both Bambi and his father reacted to going through with the arrangement:

By the time Bambi was going to leave with Mena, he wasn’t even mad anymore, just downtrodden and upset that he wouldn’t get to see his friends as often, but otherwise resigned and accepting that it’s what he should be doing. Putting up a brave facade all the while, much like the Great Prince himself.

Same for the latter, he was trying to keep his regal facade up as well and insisting that “a Prince does sacrifices” - he was mostly talking about himself, having to give his son up so he’s raised by someone better than the Prince.

And let’s get one fact clear before heading to a main point in this essay: although Bambi did get mad at his father (down to even wishing his mother was there instead of him), he was far more upset at being separated from him and not getting to see him as often, and it’s made obvious he regretted yelling those words at his father.

Otherwise, Bambi wouldn’t have rushed back to nuzzle him goodbye, wouldn’t have thought of retaliating against Ronno when the latter taunted him about being “given away” due to his father “being ashamed of him”. And he certainly wouldn’t have run to another cliff to meet his dad after defeating the last of Man’s dogs.

In fact I more than believe that they would’ve reconciled on the spot as soon as they saw each other again, which was what likely gonna happen after Bambi saved Mena and got rid of all the dogs.

But then the cliff scene happened.

(aka one of my favorite scenes in the whole movie, and yes I will defend it right now)

Now, I can see why a good bunch of people hate that scene (namely the whole Disney Death thing), but allow me to say that it’s in the movie for a reason, and it’s not to trick the audience into thinking Bambi did die from the fall.

It’s to showcase the Great Prince’s character arc coming to fruition.

Remember when I said that the Prince did love Bambi in his own way despite not knowing anything about raising children? This is the scene where he finally realized just how much he did care all along, shedding away his “prince does/does not” mentality for good. Realizing that Bambi needed him as a father

There's so much that goes unsaid in the scene.

How the Prince’s voice nearly breaks when urging Bambi to get up, him saying “A Prince does not...” but never finishing it. What was he going to say? We don’t know, and that’s the point. Maybe even he didn’t know, maybe it was said out of reflex.

How he gets down and looks at his (seemingly) dead son before nuzzling him, keeping him as close as he could, and crying.

This all makes it more meaningful when Bambi does wake up and calls him Dad for the first time, showcasing how far their bond has gone and developed.

I believe, among other things, that the scene (and perhaps counting the dog chase as well) was also meant to be a mirror/parallel to the dream sequence from earlier in the movie. But that’s perhaps an essay for another day!

So, in conclusion… I swear I’m 100% normal about this movie, I totally did not spend days on end trying to make this improv essay as cohesive as possible-

[essay ends here, roll credits]

[summerpogue]

ok so I have about half the final episode left and I had to stop bc my AirPods died and also it was 5am and after an emotionally taxing day (election related) a bitch needed some rest

however…………. holy fuck ????????????? (obx4 pt 2 spoilers below - seriously, like…. the whole season spoiled below, do not read if you haven’t watched)

jj crashing out and inciting a pogue uprising was beautiful. I know some people will say what they will about jj always being reckless but enough was enough. the pogues collectively bit back and I loved to see it. (also, I cried a little bc it was cathartic as shit to watch given recent events, we love to see the lower class, constantly getting fucked over and over and over again by kook ass bullshit finally saying fuck you, I’ll give you something to whine about).

and I will say, it was tough to watch jj withdraw and drink about his feelings but all his feelings were valid. lashing out at john b and saying what he did wasn’t cool, however both of his father figures are grade-a pieces of shit and he literally had almost just gotten murdered by one of them so he gets a pass. like nick miller’s ‘dead dad pass’, jj gets a ‘two deadbeat, abusive, backstabbing, money-hungry dads’ pass as far as I’m concerned.

I knew sarah’s pregnancy arc was coming, they weren’t subtle at all in part one and as soon as she started acting weird I was like ‘wow okay we’re really doing this????’ I don’t think it’s necessary. she is nineteen years old, their lives are never ending chaos, whether or not it’s been properly explored her and john b are deeply traumatized and have parental shit they need to work out, she is nineteen years old. several times I said ‘and we’re not gonna have a conversation about options??? we’re just full sending it??????’ not saying that she has to do anything particular, but with how firm she was not even that many episodes ago when john b brought up kids this feels like a disservice to her character (and in light of recent events, I feel extra angry about a storyline boxing a woman into becoming a mother when they’ve clearly expressed they’re not ready, and when they haven’t even started to achieve the things they want out of life).

chandler groff can get fucked. (I left off on jj considering letting him out of the well and I know he’s gonna do it but I really wish he’d let him rot). I think he’s worse than ward ever was, because for as greedy, self-serving and maniacal as ward was, he would never have stolen the map and looking device and thrown her injured into the ocean to die. I really really don’t think he would. he loved his kids even if he did it wrong, chandler doesn’t love anyone but himself.

jj deserves so much better, he deserves so much more. he got not one but two fathers who would hang him out to dry to make a quick buck. that shit luke pulled at the town hall had me about to reach jj levels of crash out. I hope this second will that was mentioned says that jj gets goat island. let them turn goat island into poguelandia, or let jj sell it and tap into the wealth that is his birthright (even tho he’ll do something dumb with it). I also hope he’s able to learn more about his mother, I think it would help anchor him to truly know who she was, and to know that he came from someone good because right now he thinks he only comes from bad and that breaks my heart.

I’ve liked seeing rafe soft and trying (why did I feel bad for him when they tied him up lmao I really felt like he was being genuine about coexisting until they got to morocco) and I yelled at him when he dumped sofia like girl???? you killed the sheriff??? you tried to kill your sister??? she took a little money from someone who was paying you, they are not the same and your karmic debt is so massive you shouldn’t even have a girl like sofia so like, shut up and be grateful. let it go.

I’m scared for pope, he’s in seeeeerious shit. it was a badass move but also so, so reckless and I hope they bring groff back and shoupe does something to make it go away. shoupe pulled through on the beach and he needs to keep pulling through

those are all my thoughts — if you reply or chime in pleeeeeeeeeeeeease remember, I am not finished, do not talk to me about anything beyond jj seeing groff in the well, I don’t even know if he’s out of the well or not

[lightlycareless]

That twin girl dad naoya little thingy you gave us was my last straw I read it and I almost died😭😭😭 it's so fucking cute like girl dadnaoya is so ugh😩 I love it but it made me think of naoya in the fic will he be happy if he had a daughter first? Or just a daughter in general will he indulge her will he hold her yk and not be distant? Cuz at first he's really really misogynistic but I feel like he's better now realizing his mistakes (recently) trying to make amends and actually getting heartbroken and I know naoya would not be like naobito who just named the babies and dipped but will he like want to be with them alot? Babies are cute even if it's not your kid everyone love being around a baby so how will the actual fic naoya be as a dad? Will their cuteness get to him? And he's still young and young people get more excited to see cute ass babies than adults whose seen thousand babies. I won't take him being like that bitch naobito for an answer that guy was on another level of deadbeat and he even was there💀

Heya anon!!

I was actually waiting for the last chapter to be posted to answer this :>

As of right now, him having a child with Y/N will be reason enough to be over the moon. The thought of having a family with you, something a bit more intimate than just being husband and wife, becoming a father, will certainly make him very, very happy.

If it ever happens, I envision that Naoya will have a son first, and then a daughter. Which he'll love both equally :>

When it comes to planning however, I don't think he'll be the one to initially propose it, mainly because even if he's in a much better position with Y/N and their relationship, he might think he's not deserving of such happiness. She'll have to be the first one to think of having kids, and probably years into the relationships too for this is a very serious commitment.

And when he finally has the kids, he'll do anything in his power to not turn out to be like his dad. He already hates himself for treating you like Naobito treated Tomoko (his mom) so you can imagine how he feels regarding his kids.

In other words, when he once hated the thought of having a family, he now likes the idea, because it means you and him are in a happy relationship😭 akghjkashgjkasgsaja if that makes sense.

I'll write more stuff with them having kids for sure :> ugh, idk why it happened but I just got this baby fever.... anyways, thank you so much for sending in an ask!!! This was very cute, got me excited for the future of my fic.

Take care, and hope to see you soon!!

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to Evangelion episode 17: Fourth Child

I regret ever doubting Misato. It was not her who was sus, it was NERV.

Actually, I did wonder if the Angel was trying to communicate with him.

The need for "heart" to operate the Evas is stirring some things in my head.

Toji is a good brother.

ope, my kid is home. I'll save this as a draft and try to resume later.

Okay, it's later. My kid is asleep and I'm squeezing in an episode before I also go to bed. I'm just going to start from the beginning. I think I could probably actually watch this with him because the content doesn't seem too mature for him, however he would not be able to restrain himself from talking through the thing and I would annoy him by pausing the show if I have long notes to make, so he'll just have to wait to see if I feel I must do a second watch after the first one.

I like that Misato is protecting Shinji from this interrogation.

The Angels are EVOLVING?

So I've been thinking about how Adam appeared to be a fetus in a suitcase when Kaji brought him to Gendo and how he was called the first Angel when Kaji showed him to Misato fully grown, so I wonder if instead of dying they just do a little Steven Universe thing and revert back to an embryo? Or actually maybe comparing them to a phoenix is more apt. Also, I did find it weird when the lava Angel pupae looked so similar to fetus Adam but I also take it for granted that all embryos/ early stage fetuses look the same no matter what species they are, so I didn't think too deeply about it. That should have been my first clue that Adam was an Angel and not a person.

What is the S2 drive?

So the base or whatever vanished. It disappeared into the Dirac Sea. Was it the S2 drive and human error that caused this vaporization of sorts or was it an Angel attack?

The dummy plug is very interesting to me. The Eva needs to feel like there is a pilot to sync with. Is it because the implanted personalities long to have a soul again? Or am I just thinking weird things because I'm tired? lol

Is that actually Rei in the tube? I guess it is.

Ritsuko, why so creepy?

Asuka being mean again. Oh, young lady.

Does class rep like Toji??

Rei's got medication she takes.

Rei's reaction to Shinji cleaning up after her was so cute.

She's never said thank you before?

Here we go with some Garden of Eden talk. Is Tokyo-3 the Eden? Maybe it's a space station for when they destroy the Earth.

The Marduk Institute doesn't exist? And Shinji's school seems to be involved. Maybe all the kids there potential pilots.

"But I'm not a girl" Shinji, I love you.

Kaji is a watermelon farmer.

I wonder what traits they select for when choosing pilots.

Kensuke is so nosy,

The birth rate has been falling. Hmmm.

She's offering to make you a lunch, dumbass.

I'm changing Asuka's name to Karen.

In Conclusion

I feel like things are starting to come together but I'm still no closer to figuring out exactly what the secrets here are. Soon, soon.

Toji being the Fourth Children is tugging on my brain because I feel like if I could figure out what about him makes him the candidate they've been looking for then I would have a much better idea of what's going on with the Evas. I had thought there may be some kind of psychic element to this but I haven't seen any signs that they are being evaluated for psychic skills. It seems the "heart" is the most important part, but what determines that there is enough heart? All the pilots are so different, except for that they all do have some kind of trauma. Is that the trick? I don't seem to recall any mention of Toji's parents being killed but he just mentioned that there's no one at home to make a lunchbox for him anymore, so maybe he has lost them. Shinji lost his mother and his dad's a deadbeat, Asuka mentioned she has no one left to care about (if I remember right), and Rei is also alone from what I can tell and may have lost her loved ones horrifically. We know she has no one to make her feel connected to the world with all the suicidal sounding stuff she was saying that upset Shinji. Maybe she was the one who said she had no one left? Could have been both girls. So, I guess now I'm wondering if Toji's sister has died. Anyway, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

I have a feeling the dummy plug is going to be a disaster.

That's about all I'm coming up with right now. I have to get to bed or I will regret it in the morning and all day tomorrow, so I will try to watch another episode tomorrow night, but maybe earlier in the evening so I can fit in a couple. We'll see. It all depends on a certain dependent of mine and how fast he goes to bed.

[kencoded-kengirl]

ULTIMATE SWIFTIECESSION MASTERPOST

does kendall roy listen to taylor swift? was willa ferreyra actually sighted at the eras tour? why did stewy hosseini post “STREAM SPEAK NOW TAYLOR’S VERSION” on his instagram story last night? these are all questions that have haunted the minds of succession fans since the show’s creation. you might not know who the biggest swiftie in succession is, but that’s okay, because i do. jesse armstrong informed me personally, and i will now relay this vital information to all of you: from most devoted fan to the most casual of listeners, here are the top ten swifties of hbo’s succession.

1. KERRY CASTELLABATE

kerry loves taylor swift and listens to her unironically almost constantly. she thinks that the last great american dynasty was written about her. she abuses taylor swift music in order to romanticize her relationship with logan. she got bangs to be more like taylor. no other deserves the title of most avid swiftie at waystar.

2. SOPHIE ROY

sophie is technically a bigger fan than kerry but she is way less sick in the head about it. she’s just a little girl who loves taylor whose rich deadbeat dad got her eras tour tickets for her birthday because he can’t remember any of her other interests. (rava and iverson roy honorable mentions, they went to the eras tour together.)

3. EBBA

ebba is convinced that taytay wrote would’ve could’ve should’ve specifically about the fact that her ex will not stop sending her frozen bricks of his own blood. sometimes, if you’re hanging out with her, she’ll ask if you want to watch something, and then she’ll put on the all too well ten minute version music video like it’s a movie. feels a sense of devastation over the fact that taylor doesn’t have tour dates in sweden until 2024.

4. NAOMI PIERCE

in season four when kendall said that his relationship with naomi was a “carnival of mindfuck,” he was referring to the fact that they were once texting and he let it slip that he “doesn’t know why taylor keeps rereleasing albums” and that he’s “just going to keep listening to the originals because they’re better,” and then naomi blocked him on everything and they literally haven’t spoken since.

5. WILLA FERREYRA

willa also thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she listens to taylor’s music religiously but doesn’t actually care about any of the relationship drama or even the politics. she was super excited that taylor was in the cats, though, (it’s her favorite musical) and genuinely defends the movie’s quality.

6. GREGORY HIRSCH

greg is a social swift listener. he definitely likes her music and has playlists, but, frankly, he mainly just likes understanding tiktok discourse. it’s his life goal to get rich enough to run in the same social circles as her, meet her, and live out a taylor swift x yn fanfiction fantasy in real life. also, he is pretty sure the last great american dynasty is about tom. or himself.

7. KARL MULLER

this started as a joke because the old guard have been colleagues and waystar employees for 30+ years and there comes a time when you need to branch out to make your work background playlists nonrepetitive. gerri started putting taylor songs on their playlist mainly because her daughter, peti, said that she should, and karl slowly but surely became a huge fan.

8. STEWY HOSSEINI

make no mistake, stewy does not like taylor swift. he would sooner die than be caught with a taylor song on a playlist he actually listens to. however, if stewy is 1 thing in this life, that thing is a male manipulator. as a result, he has cultivated an extensive swiftie persona complete with favorite songs, albums, and knowledge of discourse, which he uses to pick up swifties at bars. he has 1 taylor swift playlist that he sends to people like “i made this about us 🥺💕” but he actually just renames and reuses it every time he meets someone new. he has cried while listening to folklore once on accident.

9. ROMAN ROY

roman also does not organically listen to taylor swift. he is trying the male manipulator false swiftie strategy as well but he cares less and is exponentially worse at it than stewy, because he has never in his life been attracted to a taylor swift fan. he tried it on tabitha and she earnestly threatened to break up with him if he was a real taylor swift fan. he tried in on gerri when she wasn’t really paying attention and she said, “what is this? i think my daughters listen to this,” which gave roman such a severe ick he never brought it up again. he tried it on matsson as well, but it made him think of ebba and he ghosted roman for a week.

10. SHIV ROY

shiv thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she’s not necessarily invested but she knows the songs that play on the radio. shiv has actually personally met taylor and they don’t get along. she also actively believes that taylor dating matty healy was worse than taylor’s private jet usage qualifying her as a climate criminal. she has used word-for-word quotes from getaway car while arguing with tom.

DISCLAIMER: this list was not made by a swiftie. if it seems like bullshit, that’s because it is.😄👍